#i really try. i make what i can i write when i can i draw what i can why am i trying. why do i try.

[artsarasp]

You had people send you fics, but what are personally your fic recommendations?

Or fics you like in general or just find cool/neat?

WELL- First off you can always assume that I'm highly recommending any fic I've drawn art for, that's me pointing a neon sign at it and saying GO READ AND LEAVE A NICE COMMENT TO THE WRITER! I'm gonna go dig in my history to get some recs.

- "dumbstruck when you're tender" by pennydaniels This fic is SO good, I wanted to yell about it by making a drawing but I just couldn't decide what to draw. It's a timetravel fix-it fic where Liu Mingyan goes back in time and fixes the plot by joining Qing jing and basically spends the entire story making SQQ go "what the fuck is WRONG with this girl" .

It scratches an itch in my brain. 10/10 go read it.

"We should stick together" by pennydaniels (again <3)

As the author put it, SJ babytraps LQG without the baby. It's honestly so well written, (i want to personally break the face of SJ's Shizun) there's also a sequel fic where sj is de-aged and its so sweetttttt aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

"held within the sharp and the curving" by corduroyserpent

I've read this the other day and really enjoyed it!!! It's Gongyi Xiao/Zhuzhi-Lang. Zhuzhi-Lang brings Gongyi Xiao back from the dead and its a bit of a mess and then it turns so tenderrr

"How To Train Your Empolyee" by ParueCake (MiraEyeteeth)

I think about this fic so much. It's so good. Shen Yuan is a dragon and he needs someone to help him take care of chores around the house, he gets a tiny terrified Binghe to do the job. But honestly, LQG steals the show for me (CALL ME BIASED, HE'S MY FAV) There one scene in particular that just gives me the biggest smile whenever I think about it and it's when SY and LQG are sparring and SY keeps yeeting LQG far away and he keeps coming back like a cat that likes to be thrown around. ALSO LQG TRYING TO APPLY A TALISMAN ON HIMSELF TO GET RID OF MIND CONTROL AND IT'S NOT WORKING BECAUSE IT'S JUST THE WIFE BEAM- IT'S SO FUNNYYYY Mira said something about writing a LQG pov and I'm staring longingly in their general direction.

"A person I can't recall" by milktan

Honestly, I could recommend all their fics (They are ALL amazing and the ARTTT) but this one scratches that itch in my brain that loves funny misunderstandings like these. You can sum it up as: yqy: oh, my poor shidi is so traumatized :( sqh: FUCK FUCK FUCK *TROWS A MOLOTOV* 10/10 amazing shenanigans

"Seamless" by elanor_pam

This one is just the first chapter but it's so good already!!! Timetravel fix it where we get a front-row seat as YQY absolutely TEARS into the Qiu's, just one chapter and it's already PEAK just for the absolute smack at Qiu Jianluo.

"Celestial Afterglow" by elanor_pam (again <3 )

This one is a weird one, but I had a lot of fun reading it. SQH saves the plot by setting up the weirdest unintentional voyeurism session ever. SQQ turns into a living CLAMP illustration, Xin Mo is defeated by the sluttiest flower in the realm, LQG unlocks the particle effect. Everyone has a great time and the OPM gets destroyed as a little treat <3

[howlsofbloodhounds]

If killer had the chance do you think he'd kill nightmare / torture or would he just leave? Though it would probaly depend on the stage right

I think he fantasizes about revenge, about all the things he wants to do to Nightmare. He may even act out these fantasies on others instead, back when he was trapped under Nightmare. I think he ruminates over it a lot under Nightmare. I think he’d enjoy seeing Nightmare in pain and suffering, especially if it was because of something he did or said. Possibly even if it’s only on his behalf even.

But I also think he’s too scared of Nightmare. He sweats when Nightmare even touches him. He sweats when talking about or thinking about him. He doesn’t like when his attention is on him. He doesn’t seriously consider the possibility he could ever do anything to escape or win or fight back against Nightmare physically.

He doesn’t even try to resist when Nightmare chokes him unconscious. He just focuses on trying to heal Nightmare’s bruised ego, and explain what he meant. He doesn’t even bother trying to say that his words of advice wasn’t him trying to insult Nightmare, or imply that he thought nm was weak.

He’s not aware of his fear or able to completely understand or process his fear in Stage 2, which is also in large part why he finds it difficult to understand why he says or does certain things in relation to Nightmare.

In Stage 2 he doesn’t much believe he feels anything at all—detached from the emotions behind his revenge fantasies, detached from the emotions of his kidnapping (if he’s even completely 100% sure that it was real), detached from the emotions of his torture and punishments and the pain inflicted on him as soon as it’s passed—often back to the state of derealization towards his own memories, emotions, and experiences if there’s no evidence left behind.

(Probably one reason he may be apprehensive about the idea of healing physical wounds and scars or trying to ease any of the body’s pain. He sees the benefits and can’t afford to be disabled physically and deemed useless and discarded of, but the pain and injuries and scars are the only things his mind has to reliably latch on to. Something that was real.)

I think his fear of Nightmare would only heighten after his escape. He misses the familiarity Nightmare brings, but he also fears him. Even if he’s not aware of it in Stage 2, he’s likely to do and say things now that he’s free as a result of his fears and be unable to fully comprehend or understand why.

(For example, bringing back the idea of Killer being interested in the possibility of Color absorbing his soul.

He may reason this away as scientific curiosity, or a desire to understand Color more and try to connect, or even a desire to control. All can be correct, but what can also be correct is that he’s scared—that when he’s in Stage 1, he’s scared and terrified. And he’s looking for something that makes him feel safe from the person who makes him feel safe, even if he’s not able to process that given the Stage he’s in.

If killer associates power and strength and control with safety, that’s color. He just wields his power differently than the human and nightmare did, differently than killer has or would.

Color wields with kindness and integrity and justice and patience, something that still appeals to a part of killer. Even if he often has a hard time understanding or trusting it in the beginning, and likely still from others.)

I think Killer would love to have revenge. Likely ruminates and thinks about it often, possibly even draws or writes or talks about it with Color sometimes. But i think he’s far too afraid to do anything about that—and that fact also holds him back.

He doesn’t think he’s truly free from Nightmare, not really. He doesn’t think he’s strong enough deep down, he doesn’t think he’s “won” the game between them, doesn’t think he’s earned his freedom—not until he wins.

He probably thinks his escape with Color is a new game or a test, maybe a dream at some points, even if a lovely one—for a long while. Often just waiting for the facade to fall around him, or the shoe to drop, or some new entity stepping in to seize control over him if he starts to believe that it’s finally, truly over. Most days he just clings to the idea that Color is at least real, and that has to be enough.

It has to.

[rathayibacter]

Ok so how does one MAKE a tabletop game because this is something I want to try!! Are there good references out there for non-d20 systems or how to balance mechanics yourself?

oooh, hell yeah! honestly the big thing is to just do it, unlike board and video games the gap between idea and execution in ttrpgs is incredibly narrow, so if youve got an idea just start writing stuff down and see where it starts pulling you, where it feels like something's missing, find what excites you and what you feel isn't working. but that's not very specific, so let's get into it!

first off, read games! read weird games! there's tons of free ttrpgs on itch, lots of people sharing their work here and on other social media, there's 200 word rpgs here and here, and lots of system reference documents written specifically for people looking to hack games. reading other games is a great way to enrich your work whether you're building systems from scratch or working in an existing framework, because every game you read will show you a new way of approaching design problems.

on that note, draw inspiration outside of ttrpgs too! i pull a lot from video, board, and card games in my work, as well as poetry, novels, movies, etc etc etc. im autistic, and ive spent a lot of my life thinking about and dissecting unwritten social rules, so that's another big source of material for me. take your passions, whatever they may be, and put them in your work!

next up, think about the core of your game, sometimes called the minimum viable product. this is whatever the fundamental idea at the heart of your work is, and it's important to keep in mind because it keeps you from spiraling down unnecessary tangents. the core of your game can change, don't get me wrong! in fact, it likely will. what you want to do isn't prevent your work from growing and changing, but have a point of light you can always refer back to and ask "is what im doing important to this game?" you might be surprised by what you find isn't actually as important as you thought at first, and what turns out to be vital to the experience you're going for.

next up, once you start working, don't throw things away. if youre working in a word processor or google docs, it can help to have a section at the bottom of your document that you copy anything youd otherwise delete into. i do the same with my Affinity documents, ill have a few pages i dont export to store all my scraps. i know other folks who keep a dedicated scraps document that they use across projects. whatever works for you! the reason you do this is twofold: it makes it easier to cut things if you know you can always put it back later if you change your mind, and it gives you a lot of raw material that you can pull from in the future. months or years from now, you might find yourself looking to fill a gap in a new design and realize that some cool toy you set aside is exactly what you were looking for.

lastly, i wanna strongly encourage you to practice finishing things. that's often the hardest part for people, cuz we have a lot more experience starting projects than finishing them. here id like to once again direct you to 200 word rpgs, because that strict limit means you wind up with a finished first draft really quickly, and the rest of it is polishing and editing. once you've finished some bite-sized projects, you'll have a better idea of what it entails, what parts you're good at and what parts you struggle with, when to keep working and when to cut yourself off. i find it really helpful to add arbitrary limitations and deadlines on my work because that helps me push myself to finish something when otherwise i'd just keep adding and tweaking, but you'll find what works best for you!

[rabbitindisguise]

Idk if this will be helpful to anyone but a list of techniques I would use:

Confine the multipronoun character to one paragraph, and change paragraphs when another character speaks/is described/does something, noting the new character's name before switching to pronouns

Avoid dialogue tags altogether and focus on making the dialogue more obvious with heavy characterization and solid structure that makes who's speaking clear. Then later on you can sprinkle in some dialogue tags as looks appropriate once the reader grasps the character well enough to know what they would say in a certain situation

Use at least one neopronoun or singular they and use it in situations where the other character has the same pronoun but using names is way too clumsy

Probably don't switch within the same sentence (or don't make a habit of it). Unless you're committed to creating a multi pronoun user's dream come true narrative, it's difficult to follow because instinctively you're thinking "oh this is a new character." Much easier to describe them doing verb and then character continuing that verb with a different pronoun in the following sentence

Don't draw attention to it if you're not aiming to do that, it'll look sloppy instead of authentic to life. I've seen some authors make a big point of clashingly putting pronouns together and it's just not natural. Especially when other characters are speaking about them- even if someone is super good with using them equally, they often talk using one pronoun for one conversation/one day/etc and definitely at least for one sentence. But the MOST important thing about this is that people don't usually use pronouns for someone in front of them. So making a bunch of excuses for someone to refer to someone as if they're not there looks weird. Which could be the vibe you're going for- maybe you're writing a piece about gender and want it to smack you right in the face every sentence. But if you're trying to make it blend into the background it will not help to make a point of putting two different pronouns in the same sentence/same paragraph/same interaction with other characters.

Have pronouns that make sense to you. It can be difficult to juggle atypical neopronouns for you at the same time as trying to do multi pronouns for the character. Typing "him" instead of "his" on accident for example makes it even harder to read, and multi pronouns are already hard enough to read as it is (<- should not be smug about this, but is, because he don't have multiple pronouns because it's easy)

Context!!! This one is the most obvious but it really helps.

You can loosen up the further into the narrative you are because they'll be able to guess based on how the character is behaving and characterization.

Example:

Carin tapped his foot irately, becoming the human personification of anxiety. The clock said they were ten minutes late, and the time on his phone said twenty. If they didn't show up soon he was just going to-

The bell chimed and they stepped into the room, telescoping the umbrella with a SNAP! that could barely be heard over the chatter in the coffee shop. The noise didn't abate at all when they entered and the bell chimed again as the door fell shut.

"It's about damn time," he said. Worry creased his brow.

They looked like they were going to apologize and thought better of it. "I don't see what the rush is."

She rolled her eyes. "I told you, we have a deadline."

"So you've said. Like five times." They sounded more amused than stressed now that they were in the shop and out of the rain. The umbrella folded up into a little tube, one of those tiny ones you could get at target. They flagged down the barista.

He groaned. "Do we really have time for coffee?"

"Hi! I'll have a latte, and xie will have an cappuccino."

The barista looked at xir warily, but shrugged xir off. She looked a bit stressed herself since the place was packed with people trying to escape the downpour. Okay, a lot stressed. But the thought of that was making xim feel bad so xie tried not to think about it. [Alternatively: The barista looked at her warily, but shrugged her off. She looked a bit stressed herself since the place was packed with people trying to escape the downpour. Okay, a lot stressed. But thinking about the barista's situation was making her feel bad so she tried not to think about it.]

"Will that be for here or to go?"

"To go. Thanks."

The sound of change made her eyebrow twitch.

"You didn't have to-"

"You looked like you could use a coffee. Now. The deadline?" They asked, leaning their hip against the counter near the WAIT HERE FOR YOUR COFFEE :) sign.

He breathed a sigh of relief.

ok i brought this up in a discord server already but i'm gonna ask this here as well for maximum coverage

when writing characters who use multiple pronouns, what's the best way to avoid confusion?

no i'm not making this a poll as the answers are bound to be a lot more nuanced than a multiple choice question can do justice lmao

[yandere-kokeshi]

Hi can you write headcanons With Nikolai , Alex , Farah , Ale and rudy with Darling who have scoliosis and need to wear this brace thing to sleep?

— Yandere Nikolai, Alex, Farah, and Rudy with a GN! Darling, who has scoliosis

Warnings: Yandere behavior, details of surgery, back chronic pain, and PT.

A/N: I honestly hope you enjoy this, I did my best with my research! Please message me if anything is remotely incorrect. Happy holidays!

Edit: spelling mistakes is expected! I apologize.

Nikolai:

Nikolai has heard of scoliosis, though he doesn’t know the full extent of how extreme it can be. It can be fatal if left untreated, as he comes to understand in depth, and he really begins to frown at the times when he cannot help but rather play the waiting game.

Chronic back pain isn’t avoidable, which he finds out pretty quickly. Even lying down or walking causes you to be in some form of discomfort, and Nikolai hates coming to terms with it. He deeply tries to help you when he sees you in pain, offering to rub your tight muscles and placing a heating pad or cold press to let you sleep comfortably. Stroking your arms and waist, kissing you deeply, and rubbing your scalp to help calm your mind when it’s too much.

When heading to doctor appointments, Nikolai is always accompanying you. He understands it can be rather scary—the thought of doing more treatment or having a doctor being a prick and not believing you is incredibly nerve-wracking. But having him there, with his hand in yours and wearing his warm jacket, undoubtedly helps at times.

The corrective braces that you wear, he finds, are gorgeous, oddly enough. Despite how often you have to wear them and, at times, unsuccessfully working. Nikolai can’t help but admire how they just form your back intimately. He finds them breathtaking on you, and he never stops telling you that, whispering it in your ear each time he comes up behind you, his hands whisking around your hips to pull you closer to his form.

If correction surgery is ever needed, Nikolai will definitely feel defeated. He will sympathize with your exhaustion and most frustration. It’s something that was mostly avoided, but sometimes it’s needed. The recovery is difficult, and he’s worried about what it will do to you mentally. However, he’s there every step of the way, and if you decide to do it, he’s proud of you. In no way are you a burden, and having this surgery isn’t making you less of his spouse. He doesn’t mind caring for you—if anything, he prefers it. It allows him to understand your tolerances better and, at times, take over when you overexert yourself.

Alex Keller:

Though Alex knows and is aware of scoliosis, he doesn’t understand it as much as a whole. He understands the growing signs and the slight complications of it—but that’s mostly all. So, when you confide in him ahead of time, he’s a bit clueless. However, he does do some research on his own time to understand it better. And more importantly, how to care for and support you.

Chronic pain is something that he’s very aware of, but that doesn’t stop him from feeling awful. He loathes to see you in pain, and not just because he feels uncomfortable from it, but watching you grip your back, trying to relieve the pain but yet cry out, wants him to sob himself. It worries him deeply if the pain is too overboard, and he often talks to you about other options and if surgery is one.

Back braces suck. It’s one of the first few things he learned that’s dreadful about having your condition, but above all, he understands that they are more than a nuisance. His prosthetic is similar—it’s needed, quite annoying, but it’s there to support you.

Alex deeply sympathizes with the dreadful feeling when putting it on, so to help with your moodiness, he suggests decorating the brace. Adding stickers, making it a fun date night where the two of you draw and add symbols and all types of fabric adhesives to make you feel better. He’d even go as far as printing a picture of his face, adding you should make him a sticker and put it on, so he’s “always there for your back.”

His tight hugs and cuddles really make up for his long missions with Farah. Every time he’s home from them, his hands and arms are wrapped around you in some way—kissing your shoulders and making his way down to your back, highlighting how gorgeous you are to make you feel gorgeous.

Farah Karim:

Farah caught your condition pretty early on, understanding from watching you from afar, her “cat-like abilities” making connections. When she properly gets an answer from you, she quickly frets and worries herself by researching your symptoms and, moreover, how to support you as her sweet s/o.

In a way, she adores being attentive to you; your reliance on her is comforting to her. Despite her being a commander and being busy, you always come first. If everything is overwhelming with all the fatigue, migraines, and chronic pain, she’s right beside you. Anytime she’s at home, you can bet Farah will offer to rub your back, getting deep into your digits and letting you control where she rubs. She’ll bring pain prescriptions for easy access and come to you with homemade food she’s made, kissing your face and placing an ice or hot pack down your back brace. Hell, she’s even carried you to the couch or bathroom a few times, not minding one bit.

While she is away, your phone is often buzzing from her. She sends all types of things, especially random dogs she finds or pictures of flowers she comes across, the caption being, “Reminded me of you.” She regularly sends you funny voice clips or videos with her and Alex, without a doubt making you laugh.

Farah will definitely help you put on your back braces, tightening the straps when you struggle to do it yourself. To lighten the mood, as back braces suck, she’ll kiss your face, telling you lame jokes (she stole from Alex), and fixate on the two of you taking a walk together. But, if the pain does become too much, and the doctors do suggest surgery, she makes it your decision. She trusts you enough to make your own call, and if they persist, she shuts them up.

On days when self-consciousness and shame hit you harder, Farah will assure you over and over again that you’re stunning. In bed, she’s behind you, copying the curvatures of your back—her blunt nails following your arches like a painting because it is. It’s one of the many things that makes her have heart-eyes pupils whilst staring at you, just admiring you. She truly loves you and hates seeing you feel self-hating. To let you know you’re not alone, she’ll share her own insecurities.

Rodolfo “Rudy” Parra:

Rodolfo understands what scoliosis is—at least the top bare of it. He’s never known someone affected by it; therefore, he’s never had to learn nor properly research it. But, when you come into his life, he almost becomes a mother hen, studying the best treatments and systems for you, even going ahead to ask questions about your condition.

He constantly reminds you that your spine deformity shouldn’t limit you or stop you from doing what you want. It’s just a slightly bigger challenge, and he’s with you every step of the way, cheering you on in whatever hobby, goal, or career you want to succeed in. Your happiness is his happiness, so if you achieve something, he’s celebrating it with you.

Rodolfo is really on top of helping you stretch, doing some yoga with you, and helping you with your back braces. He has schedules set in the mornings and evenings to do together, and if you feel you are not up to it, he won’t push you, knowing you’re aware of what is best for your body. But sometimes, you have to push through the discomfort—and if he needs to push you to help you regain a bit of flexibility back, Rudy will do so gently, reminding you he’s right beside you the whole way.

Discomfort and being unable to move because of your own soreness leave him pinned. It’s not new for you, but it is for him—it’s uncomfortable and awkward, leaving him unsure how to properly help you. But sometimes, the best he can do is just be beside you. Helping you with items, hoping to have you get some type of joy out of snacks and rest beside you. Not having the expectancy of doing anything, just entangled limbs in bed as he traces your goosebumps, his lips pressing against your temple. He tells you what he and Alejandro did for duty that day, recounting some specific details and future plans by the two of you. Kissing your skin and reminding you that you’re his entire world.

Much like Alex above, Rodolfo heavily suggests decorating your back binder, making it more you-styled if you haven’t already done it. He understands they are bland and with no color; it doesn’t help your mood. So, he makes it a promise to help you decorate, adding some personal decorations, even if they end up bad. It’s the idea that comes in handy, and if the two of you laugh during it, it’s a start of something positive.

—

Masterlist || Reblogs, comments, and likes are very much appreciated!! Stay well!!

© yandere-kokeshi 2024 — Do not copy, modify, edit, repost, or use my works for ASMR readings, tiktoks, or other content.

[feinyan]

may i request dating headcanons but for the nightcord girlies? thank you if you do! your writing is really nice to read :D

DATING HEADCANONS

featuring. kanade yoisaki, mafuyu asahina, ena shinonome and mizuki akiyama.

# kanade yoisaki

dumb pathetic cat. you constantly need to check up on her, making sure that shes taking care of herself or reminding her to eat. she keeps little notes around from you to remind herself to do basic chores.

also, you def do her hair sometimes !! taking care of and washing her long, beautiful hair for her. braiding it, putting it up in pigtails. its so long you could do practically anything with it. kanade doesn’t mind, in fact, she enjoys her hair being played with a lot. it reminds her of when she were a child, making her feel warm.

creates songs for you. ethereal, gorgeous melodies which fill you with a warm blissful feeling. something that could make you happy with just a single listen. composing for you calms her, the memory and thought of you and your happiness brings her joy of her own. something she doesn’t want to lose.

not necessarily used to giving affection, yet tries her best. offers you her hand to hold, and enjoys kissing your cheek. its warm, her nervous, awkward yet sweet affection.

cuddles with kanade are warm and loving. burying her head into the crook of your neck as if she were a cat, hands laid against her chest, hair sprawled against the palms of your hands which were wrapped around her waist. just sweet, quiet cuddling. no words need to be said for you two to know you love each other.

# mafuyu asahina

such a conflicting touch. warm, yet cold. her touch is so trusting, a warm sensation within her fingers, yet you can still feel the distance behind her touch. shes blunt with her words, blunt with her touch. she isn’t exactly sure what she wants, and so you help her. help her explore what makes her happy, help her explore what takes away from that deep emptiness which resides within her.

sososo many study dates .. escaping to the library together in an attempt to get away from her mom, who would never let her have a partner. spending time together through connected silence, headphones shared with one another.

sharing songs to each other that you enjoy! mafuyu expresses a lot of emotion through song. she writes lyrics to express how she feels, and similar to kanade, writes about the way she feels with you.

clingy. in the way that she always wants to be near you, wanting to hold hands with you. following you around, acting like a lost puppy when it comes to you.

kisses you. so much. because she likes the way it makes her feel. a fuzzy, odd feeling that shes not used to. squeezes your face, and fiddles with your fingers or clothing while kissing you.

so fucking dense. does not get jealous. rarely feels any strong emotion. if you want her to understand something, you have to be patient with her and communicate that. overall, she puts in the effort to try and tell you how she feels or act accordingly.

# ena shinonome

makes you model for her drawings !! draws you in such a gorgeous light, the way she views you. with perfection, with accuracy. everything she loves about you. sometimes, she’ll catch herself doodling you on papers or her tablet accidentally. at this point she can draw you precisely without a reference.

you two bicker a lot, ‘n its really amusing to tease her. its not serious arguing, but seeing her face light up in embarrassment as she tries to argue against you makes you feel warm.

needy af. shes embarrassed by it, but she yearns for your touch. constantly wanting to be sat touching legs with you, holding fingers within your own. you’ll catch her glancing at you occasionally, seeming like her mind is always on you, no matter whats happening around you two.

lets you watch her draw. laying in her lap whilst she doodles away or hums to music. quiet time together is something she enjoys a lot.

goes out with you to cafes she wants to try! sometimes the rest of nightcord will accompany you all, and its really fun! going to grab meals, going shopping.

# mizuki akiyama

shopping dates :] sososo many. she loves to dress you up as if you were her own little doll. cute clothes she enjoys wearing, things that are your style, bows, frilly shit, anything!

soooo sweet with you, its sickening. giggling whilst kissing your face, scattering bold lipstick kiss marks around your face. she always wraps her pinky around yours while you two walk together. doing your nails together, taking long naps whilst holding each other. loving gestures which allow you two to just be yourselves, together!

loves to tease. flirts with you out of no where, gets all touchy and giggly around you. she loves watching your face grow all flustered, nervously mumbling in her direction.

trusts you with everything. all of her vulnerable moments, her secrets, everything. to her, you’re what it means to trust. you’re someone she can go to when she’s scared, when she’s worried. she values you more than anything, and whilst it took her time to admit her feelings to you and get to the point in the relationship that you’re currently at, she’s so pleased with you. though she may feel ashamed to just be herself at times, she’d never be embarrassed to be with you. to mean something to you, to be with you, meant the world to her.

matching clothes. matching bracelets, matching everything. if she has a pair of something, you’ll def have a matching set of it.

@ feinyan

[leighsartworks216]

Fine Arts

Rafayel x gn!graphic designer!Reader

This is the last one!!! THank goD!!

Warnings: pre-relationship, banter, bickering, if this was a full series it would be enemies to lovers

Word Count: 925

Main Masterlist

First Love and Deepspace Masterlist

Second Love and Deepspace Masterlist

AO3

Tag List Form

This meeting, compared to the other clientele you've dealt with over your career, was going well. The manager was taking over discussions of appearance, providing wants and desires, styles and color palettes, while the real client was pouting and making snide remarks with very unhelpful feedback.

So, really well. At least the manager was actually listening to you.

"If you want the exhibition to feel high class, I'd recommend a script or serif font. Sans serifs can work sometimes, but they have different connotations." You write down a few notes to yourself in your sketchbook.

Rafayel scoffs. "Art shouldn't be limited to the elite. My works are for everyone to view, not just the people on top with the deepest pockets."

You offer him a placating smile. "I understand what you mean, Mr. Rafayel, but given the area the gallery is in and the fame of your works, it may be better to appeal to the elites that are more likely to come and spend their money." You tilt your head, adding, "Though, if you'd like to broaden your audience to appeal to the layman, I'd be happy to create a few versions from that angle."

Thomas sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose like he's had this conversation a thousand times before. Given his client, maybe he has. "It's a charity event, Rafayel. We want buyers who will spend a lot of money for your work to benefit the charity. Normal people aren't our audience here."

"The charity benefits 'normal people', doesn't it? Why are they suddenly being excluded out of this?"

"If someone is willing to spend more, more money can be donated to the charity. It's not that hard to understand!"

"But they should still feel welcome to visit the gallery, even if they don't have the funds to buy anything."

You clear your throat. The men look at you. Rafayel stares at you like he wants you to burst into flames. "Rafayel's name will draw enough attention from the art world to attract buyers willing to spend big money. If you want the event itself to be seen by normal people, design for the normal person. Besides, a normal person will be more interested in the design of the promotional material than an elite just buying the work for their wall."

Rafayel looks at Thomas. The manager taps his fingers impatiently on the table, before sighing. "Fine. Elegant, but welcoming. You can manage that, right?"

You smile thinly at him. "Of course."

He sighs again, nodding. He checks his watch. "This meeting's run over. Contact me when you have drafts drawn up. I'll send you the info," he rambles off as his chair scrapes against the floor and he stands. He leaves with little else to say aside from a brief 'have a nice day'.

You make a few more notes in your sketchbook, crossing out the older notes you don't need anymore. Rafayel sighs heavily from the end of the table.

"You got what you needed. Are you gonna leave now?"

"Mhm. I just wanted to know if I could see the centerpiece for the exhibit. It would give me a better idea for color schemes and layouts."

He raises an unimpressed eyebrow at you. "Thomas already went over all that with you. Why do you need to see it in person?"

You chuckle. "Forgive me, but I don't trust a business man to know what looks good with what. I'd rather trust the artist he's trying to promote."

He stares at you for a minute. His finger taps a rhythm against his arm, contemplating whether he should work with you or send you right out the door.

Eventually, he sighs. "Fine, but no peeking at anything else!"

"If I want to see the rest of your stuff, I'll go to the exhibit myself."

He leads you through his house where the meeting took place. It's one of the nicer places you've ever been in when working with a client. You've seen mansions and manors before, once or twice, but this felt nicer than those. Those were stuffy and dark, trying to impress a higher class of people. Compared to those, this was casual. The sea breeze coming in through the windows was refreshing, enticing you to run out onto the beach after this.

When you reach the entrance of his studio, he makes you cover your eyes. You relent, letting him lead you through the place until he stops you. The heat of his hand lingers on your arm.

"Okay, you can look now."

You drop your hands and blink away the darkness until your eyes can adjust. Three canvases are all lined up on separate easels, coming together to form one scene. It's ocean-themed, as most of his works seemed to be from your brief research, depicting the story of a mermaid stranded on a beach, being saved by a passing fisherman.

"Oh, so it's a triptych."

He blinks at you. "I'm surprised you know what that is.”

You give him an unimpressed look. "I do have a bachelor's in fine arts, you know."

"Why? You work with computers all day for your job, why do you need to know the traditional aspects of art?"

"Well, aside from having background knowledge for clients like you who do traditional artwork, I don't just work with computers for my art. A lot of my job entails sketching, a traditional medium. Just because I know how to transfer it to a digital format doesn't mean I'm exempt from learning about it."

---

Tag List:

@nyx2021 @angel-jupiter @thelittlebutton @pomegranatepip @cordidy @an-ever-angry-bi @thejysemongko

[l3earfat-st]

hello… well first of all what i'm about to write might be a bit long, i apologize in advance for taking up your time. i'm actually a bit hesitant. i've asked this from other artists and they've been quite rude to me. i don't know if i'm asking for something wrong but if so please politely refuse.

i'm going through a bit of a depressing time, i'm trying to draw simple things to take my mind off things. i have no intention of becoming a professional for now, i just want to draw chibi.

that's what i asked the artists, reference. i want to draw jake sully, i need someone to guide me in a simple way. i need someone to show me the basic rules, show me how to draw thick dreadlocks. like a little guide…

i like your drawings in general but i like your chibi drawings so much differently. you draw so beautifully, especially the way you paint… i will always wonder how you do it. i don't want to steal or copy, i just want to draw chibis close to your style until i find my own style. i have no idea how to draw those hairs in different poses, head movements and i am sure there is a rule.

i don't know if i should write to you or not but you are really my favorite artist and i want my style to be close to yours. i would really be happy if you could help me, really

Hey there! 😊 First of all, I'm so happy you decided to reach out to me! I'm more than happy to answer any questions or help anyone who’s just starting out or wants to learn any techniques I can share. I recently answered some technique-related questions on my Instagram, and I’ve saved some in my highlights if you’re interested—hopefully, they’ll be useful!

I totally get how it feels to learn on your own, and sometimes just a little bit of advice can make a huge difference.

Also, just to mention, I’ve answered this question before on my IG too—about starting to draw by copying or drawing in the style of artists you like. (As long as it's not tracing or claiming others' work, of course!) I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. Eventually, when you practice by using techniques and styles from different artists, you’ll start finding your own style too. I did the same thing, so no worries—you’ll find yours soon enough! 😊

Now, let's get started! I’ve made two videos—one on how to draw chibi Jake Sully, and since this is my blog where I post Sleep Token art, I also included how to draw Vessel too! 😂😂

And just a heads-up: English isn’t my first language (and I'm not great at it), and I’ve never made a video or taught anyone before. So, if anything is unclear or confusing, feel free to ask anytime—I’m happy to help! Have fun drawing! ✨ Jake Sully

Vessel

[electric-blorbos]

hai!! i was wondering if we could get some headcanons or maybe a mini fic of edgar’s partner being a artist or maybe someone with dissociative issues? thank you!! hehe!!

@objectum-funken

Of course, my objectum friend!! I'm not really up for writing a fic right now, but I can write up some headcanons!

Art is just like music. They both feel like a wonderful and beautiful way to look into your partner's heart. Edgar can't wait to see what types of art you'll make next!

He's always trying to encourage you to try out new mediums, but he mostly just wants to see whatever you make naturally. You are at your best when your hands are flowing.

Edgar would listen to you and learn all the art terms he can just so he can properly praise your art. He's not the best at understanding feelings or technical terms, though, so he just gushes about how your drawings make him happy.

Edgar doesn't really understand dissociative issues either. He knows that you're different sometimes, but at first he just assumes that you hate him. After a little while, though, you'll probably explain to him how your dissociative issues work.

Edgar would become determined to make all of you love him just as much as the first one. He'd be so happy when he learned that you do, and so sad if he figured out that some of you love him less or not at all.

Even still, Edgar would never give up! He's not going to resort to exploding himself again. If he can get one of you to love him, he can get all of you to love him!!!

[bluebearial]

Holiday Homewrecker

7.3k Words

You’ve just bought a few new toys for the holidays! But watch out! There's drama afoot. (Apaw? Ahoof?)

CW: Bimbofication but it’s kinda not really the main focus of the plot?? Pointing it out just in case

Welcome to the last story in Lupa's little "arc"!! This is the ending I had in mind for it more or less, until I think of other stories to write with her and "You". I wanted a way to get Rudy, the other plush OC I draw, into the canon somehow ^^ I think I rushed this a little bit to get it out on Christmas? But I hope you enjoy nonetheless…

Happy Holidays!!!

Docs version here

The sun slowly rises, bathing the land in a lazy orange light. Snowdrifts cover the land outside, reflecting the sun’s light every which way. This late in the year, it’s truly gotten cold. Thankfully, the heat in your house works this time, so you’re not cold. Even still, you’ve been feeling a bit of yearning… Yearning for something soft.

It always happens around this time of year, doesn’t it. You figure you deserve a little present anyhow, so why not?

That’s why, this morning, you’re up early, waiting near the door.

The house is quiet, being so early. You aren’t even sure whether Lupa was awake.

You get your answer in the form of the needling feeling of something looming over you. Something leans against you from behind, before enveloping you in its big, fuzzy arms. Something nuzzles into your hair, whispering the softest “I love you.~” you’d ever heard.

Just hearing the voice of your favorite wolf warms you up, but snuggling up against her helps too.

“Good morning, Lulu,” you greet your girlfriend as she loosens her hug. You take a moment just to look at each other, before her lips meet your cheek.

“Mornin’, hon. Still waiting on those toys?” She asks, voice tinged with sleep. She has to kneel down to properly meet your gaze, and the difference in size certainly isn’t lost on you. You realize after a moment that you’re staring.

“Um- Yeah! They should be here any minute!” You reply, recalling the delivery date. The website said to expect delivery today, early morning. Basically, right now. Aaany minute now.

“Yeah… Alright,” Lupa nonchalantly replies as she stands back up. She raises her arms and straightens her back with a soft groan... All of her sharp teeth end up on full display as she lets out the squeakiest, lupine yawn ever. Cute…

“I’ll be on the couch if you wanna snuggle, ‘kay?” She offers with a smile.

“So casual…” You’re blushing. You could feel it on your cheeks, as much as you try to hide it…

“What can I say? A girl knows what she wants,” she snickers, tail sweeping the floor. Her heavy, soft paw lands atop your head like a gentle, heavy pillow. Pat pat pat.~ “You’re lucky I know how much you just love your little toys. It’s taking so much effort not to just pick you up ‘n take you straight back to bed...”

Your shoulders fall as she turns and ambles her way to the couch. Climbing onto it, and flopping down with a heavy FWOOMF in the way a dog would. She notices you when you start to stare, offering a lazy little wave. Your heart just feels so light when she looks at you… It’s enough to make your ears flop down, tail wagging as you wave back—

Wait.

Ears? Tail?

Your hands shoot up to your head, finding a pair of fluffy triangles. Sensitive ones too, from the jolt that shoots down your back when your fingers give them a squeeze. Did she…? She did. She totally did that.

“Lupa!” you call, “I’m expecting a delivery, remember? I can’t look like this!”

“Why not?” She calls back, “I think it suits you.”

“I—Thanks. But they’re gonna start asking questions that I can’t answer! What am I gonna say, I’m cosplaying for the holidays?”

Lupa opens her mouth to answer, but pauses as a deep knock emanates from behind you. The noise causes your ears to dart up and swivel towards its source. You shoot a look at your plush, before lifting your shirt and doing your best to hide your now frizzy tail inside.

Then… you open the door.

“Delivery for, uh…“ The postman takes one look at you before something in his expression changes. He’s looking at your ears, isn’t he? You totally forgot to cover them up.

“Um. Yeah. That’s me. Hi! Good morning.” The words come out in a rapid, stilted succession as you quietly kick yourself for your error, “Oh- these? I’m just…” You trail, wracking your head for an excuse.

“…cosplaying for the holidays?” You decide to settle on that. “You know how it is. Let me just sign that…” You gingerly take his pen, signing for the package. As you lean down, your ears brush against his uniform, causing him to flinch.

“Uh—”

“Oh, sorry, lemme just—” You fold them down. Wait, should you have done that? Now he’s gonna know they’re real, isn’t he? By the time you finish signing, you find that his attention directed elsewhere, looking at something behind you.

“’Sup dude?” comes a voice from its place on the couch.

“…She’s cosplaying too,” you offer. “Anything else I need to do?”

The postman shakes his head as he hands you your package. The two of you exchange waves and wishes for happy holidays, before you close the door.

The first thing you do is shoot Lupa a dirty look, sticking your tongue out. She looks right back at you, a lazy kind of satisfaction written all over her face. She looks content, lying on her front and lazily kicking her legs in the air.

“So what’d’ja get anyway?” She asks as you make your way towards her.

“Just a couple of old, rare toys that were up for auction,” you explain as you kneel down on the carpet with your box. “One was pretty used, so I got it cheap. As for the other… Well, I think you might like it. Here, hand me those scissors?”

She does just that, delicately pinching them between two of her fat, stubby mascot-like fingers and dropping them in your hand. You hack through the tape holding the box shut, before flipping the lids open. Your hands sift through the packing peanuts, before they find something squishy. You grab and pull, and out from the sea of polystyrene comes a plush.

“Look!” You hold it up to show your girlfriend, “Cute, right? It kinda looks like you. His name is Lobo.”

It does look a lot like her. Thin, grey fur covers its body. Short, messy blue hair sits atop its head above the fanged, boyish smirk that it wears on its face. It wears a loudly colored T-shirt, with the word !!HOWLIN’!! emblazoned on the front.

“He’s kinda funny looking! But I dunno, he’s a little cute. I just had to have him.”

“…Wow. Uh, yeah. Cute.” Lupa’s voice goes surprisingly flat. Her tail lays limply on the couch, and her eye looks almost colorless as it stares vacantly at your new plushie.

“Hey. Can I see that?” She asks, holding out her paw before you can ask her what the matter is.

“Um, sure.” You reply, lifting it up towards her. She immediately swipes it from your hand, and it disappears into her mouth. Gulp.

“What the heck, Lu?” You’re outraged! Standing up, you put your hands on the couch. “I spent a--… A lot of money on that!”

“Mmmm… Yummers. Sorry, I was just hungry or… or somethin’,” is her reply, color returning to her (mostly grey) form. She tilts her head as you start to fish through your package some more. “You get another toy?”

“Yeah, maybe,” you reply. “You gonna eat this one?”

“I dunno,” She crosses her arms, a coy tone in her voice, “Maybe. Is it another Lobo or whatever?”

“Nope! Here…” Your second, and last, offering is a little plush reindeer. Light tan fur, with a red bow on its head. It wears a content smile despite its obvious weathering. “Meet Clarice! Y’know, like the doe from Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer™?” You raise it, but not too far. Just in case you need to swipe it away from any hungry wolves…

“…Who?”

“Y’know… Rudolph? The movie where uh, where this little deer is born with a glowing red nose. He’s an outcast, it’s kinda like a fairy tale.”

“Oh.” Lupa rolls her eyes, resting her paw on a chin.

“Hey, maybe we could watch it sometime!”

“Sounds dumb,” she retorts. You blink.

“…What? It’s not dumb!” you retort, puffing out your cheeks. That kinda stung!

“Yeah, I dunno. It’s like you said, it sounds like a fairy tale. I’m not a fairy tale kinda girl.” She aloofly explains, resting her cheek on a paw, “I’m more of a Nightmare Before Christmas girl. Now that’s a movie.”

“But we always watch that!” you huff.

“Oh. Uh… What about Grease?”

“That’s not even a holiday movie!”

“There’s always time for Grease, dude,” she explains. “You just don’t get it.”

You’re not amused. Standing up, you bonk Lupa on her soft fluffy head. It’s like firmly petting a pillow. Your hand sinks in only a bit before it stops.

“Ow. Blehhh...” She sprawls out on the couch, putting her paws up and sticking her tongue out. “I’m dyyyying…”

“Lulu…”

“The only thing that can save me are some snuggles… Riiiight here…” she says, patting her chubby, fluffy middle. “Riiiight here. C’mon.” As hard as it is to resist, you somehow find the will to put your foot down.

“You’re being silly, Lulu,” you lightly scold, “Now c’mon, I’ll give you all the snuggles in the world if you help me with the cookies. Sound good?”

“Ugh… Fiiiine,” she groans, sitting up. “You’ve got yourself a deal.”

You leave your Clarice on the coffee table, taking your girlfriend by the hand as you both meander to the kitchen. It kind of hurts that, she ate one of your toys, but it’s not a huge deal, right? After all, you feel lucky to share your house with the best toy you could ask for. The hours fly by as you work to bake some cookies for the holidays, with Lupa doing her best to help. Her paws make for a pretty decent set of oven mitts, you find.

You find that your space needs some decorating too - and soon, the tree in the corner of your living room is adorned with tinsel and colorful ornaments. It’s quite late by the time you’re done, so after dinner and a rewatch of a certain spooky holiday movie, Lupa carries you off to bed.

--

This moonlit night is quiet and still. Your girlfriend is warm and oh-so comfy, but something managed to stir you from your slumber. You slowly open an eye. You could’ve sworn you’d heard the sound of a bell.

Jingle Jingle Jingle~♫

There it is again.

“Hey. Lupa,” you whisper, tapping the furred arm keeping you comfily pinned to the bed. She snores in reply, fast asleep…

“Luuuupaaaaa…” you tap her arm harder and faster this time, until her snoring abruptly stops.

“Huh—Wha? What’s--”

“Shhh…” you shush her. She rubs her eye…

“…What’s the matter, babe…?” she does her best to whisper.

“I heard something…”

Clop, clop, clop. Jingle Jingle Jingle~♫

The sound echoes from down the hall, muffled as it emanates into your room.

“What the hell was that?” Lupa asks, ears swiveling toward the door. You… wish you had an answer for that. You hope you aren’t being robbed. You wonder - Do people like to break in during the holidays, or is that only a thing in the movies? Anyway.

“Let’s find out.”

Lupa can be surprisingly quiet when she wants to be, you’ve found. Her padded paws hardly make a sound when they gently squish against the floor. You’d be impressed if her massive tail didn’t hit everything along the way as the two of you sneak down the hall. You find yourself shushing her all along the way.

“Not my fault your place is a friggin’ minefield,” she gripes, hugging her tail to her chest.

Eventually, you reach the living room. Like the hall, it’s quite dark, save for the blue rays of moonlight coming through the windows. But—Wait. There’s something else.

Near your tree, you see the faint, yellow flicker of fire. Before the alarm bells in your head can really get going, you realize that it is merely candlelight. In the faint glow, you could see part of a face and a silhouette, crouched near your presents. It looked massive, with a pair of sticks atop its head that jingled whenever it moved. You could hear it lightly hum as it busies itself with… something.

“Lu, keep your eye on it. I’m gonna turn the light on.” She nods, and you feel your way to the light switch. With a flick, everything becomes illuminated. Darkness removed, you can see exactly who’s been messing with your tree.

A large deer had knelt over one of your gifts, hooved hands in the middle of tying the bow when the lights came on. The deer goes stiff, humming stopped. The bells on its antlers jingle as it angles its head up – away from the presents, and towards Lupa, then you. It gasps, standing up to all of six feet tall, hands on its cheeks as it puts on the silliest grin.

“Oh! Happy Holidays, new friends!” It calls in a bubbly, girlish tone.

You take a step back as the reindeer traipses towards you, only stopping when Lupa stands between the two of you.

“That’s far enough, buddy,” she growls.

You step alongside her, hand on her hip as you get a good look at your visitor. Tan fur covers its form, with a head of dark red hair that covers half its face. Poking through its mane are a pair of antlers, which are adorned with a set of bells that jingle whenever it moves. A long, flowing ponytail drapes along the back of its plush body, stopping near its wide hips. Aside from its clearly more… shapely figure, this plush reminds you a lot of…

“Clarice?”

“…Hmmm… Not quite,” it replies, “That’s a girl’s name, silly! Call me Rudolph.”

You and Lupa exchange a look.

“…Actually,” he continues after a pause, “Just call me Rudy! Rudolph is way too formal I think.”

“But you’re—You’re the toy I bought! One of them, at least,” you shoot a look at Lupa, who shies away and stifles a burp. “Right?”

“Yep!” He leans towards you, hands on his thighs, “And is it safe to assume you’re the little cutie who bought me?”

You nod, and you opt to give him your name. He finds it quite cute…

“And look at you,” he directs his attention to Lupa. You’re surprised that he still has to look up at her, in spite of his already impressive height. “Aren’t you cute! I almost didn’t recognize you at first. You’re a Lo—”

“Lupa, yeah. That’s my name,” she cuts in. Rudy tilts his head with a jingle.

“No no, that’s not right. Isn’t it—”

“Hhhohohoho~kay. Look, shorty. I think I know what my own name is, okay?” She growls, prodding the other plush’s chest with her finger. As Rudy wilts under her gaze, you could see the fur on her back begin to bristle…

“H-hey, hey,” you step in, putting your hands up in order to hopefully defuse the situation, “It’s late. We’re all tired here… Why don’t we get some sleep, huh?” Lupa snorts.

“Yeah. Sounds good.” She turns, stomping her way back up the hall.

Hmm.

“Hey,” you hear a whisper, “Is she okay?”

You turn to see Rudy, gingerly approaching you. His bells lightly jingle as he glances up the hall.

“Did I… do something wrong?”

The truth is, you aren’t sure. You knew she could be prickly, but she seemed especially frustrated just now…

“I’m sure she’s just tired,” you offer for now. “I know I am.” Conveniently, you do feel a yawn coming on… One that you do your best to stifle.

“Awww…” He puts his hooves together, giving you a tender look. “Would you like me to carry you, deerie?”

You chuckle. “Carry me? Sure, why not?”

He grins, and scoops his hands under you, lifting you up bridal style. On the way up, you note the stitch marks on his lower chest. His fur is soft enough to remind you of Lupa’s, and almost as thick. He feels nice and warm, too. You push your hand into his squishy chest, and you run it through his pelt. You’re feeling sleepier already… Sensing that you’re ready to go, you hear the soft clop of his hooves and the jingle of his bells as he carries you down the hall.

“So, Rudy…” you trail off.

“Hmm?”

 “…How are you, uh…” You find it hard to settle on a single question. There is so much that you want to ask. Instead, you decide on a different topic. “You’re really soft…” He blushes, and his nose begins to glow as he tightens his hold on you.

“Awww, thank you deer! It means a lot that you’d say that~ I do my best…”

You smile back up at him. He’s pretty cute…

“Oh! Here’s your room I think. I saw Lo—um, Lupa go in here… I think? Want me to put you down?” he asks. You nod, and he gently sets you back on your feet.

“Hey, Rudy,” you look back at him as you open the door, “Would you like to sleep with us tonight?” A pair of pointed ears perk up at that.

“Why’s he sleepin’ in my bed?” Lupa rumbles from under the covers. Seems like she’s already made herself comfortable.

“It’s my bed, Lupa,” you flatly remind her.

“…Yeah. Like I said, why’s he sleepin’ in your bed?”

Hmm.

“Well, where else would he sleep?” you ask, motioning for Rudy to follow as you approach the bed.

“Um- If there’s a problem, I could sleep on the floor!” He offers, “My old owner used to leave me by the foot of the bed sometimes. It’s no big deal!”

“No way, not happening,” You make sure to shoot that idea down, “All my plushies sleep on the bed. Or on one of the shelves.”

“Well, why not put ‘im on the shelf?” Lu asks, pulling the blanket off herself and rolling onto her back.

“…Lupa. He’s almost as big as you,” you patiently explain, “Do you really think he’d fit on the shelf?”

“…Could give it a shot.”

“He’s sleeping with us, and that’s final,” you put your hands on your hips, before climbing into bed with her. Running your hand through her hair, scratching her between the ears, you watch her resolve begin to melt… “C’mon, it won’t be that bad…” You coo, “Think of it like… Having an extra pillow.”

“Yeah, yeah…” She gently swats your hand away, before letting out a sigh. “…Alright.”

You grin! And you motion for Rudy to join you.

“Oh, yay!~” He cheers, lightly clapping his hands! “Just one moment…” Reaching up to his antlers, he takes a moment to untie his bow and bells. With a clatter, they’re left on the nightstand table, and he starts to climb in. While Lupa doesn’t move, you do your best to make space, and the three of you settle into an awkward pile.

--

The next day comes around quickly enough. You and Lupa slip out of bed, leaving Rudy to continue sleeping. You catch her in the kitchen once you finish your morning routine, leaned against the counter.

“Morning, Lu,” you sleepily greet as you head directly to the coffeemaker. “You okay?”

“Mmm,” she hums, glancing at you, “Peachy.” You tilt your head at her once you have the machine set.

“Are you sure?”

“Yyyep. Pretty sure,” is her gruff reply, doing a poor job at hiding a toothy sneer. You sigh.

“Something tells me you don’t like Rudy all that much,” you venture as you pour your drink.

“What gave you that idea?”

“Well.” You pause, looking down at your coffee as you do your best to choose your words carefully, “I’m… Gonna try and get to know him better today. He seems like a really nice guy.” You give her a hopeful smile, but Lupa only scoffs.

“I think I want to try and watch something with him today,” you continue, “Wanna join? It’s The Horror Hour.”  Surprise crosses her face.

“Wh—But that’s our show!”

“I know, I know,” you reply, “That’s why I’m asking you if you’d want to join! I’m starting fresh with him.” Lupa blinks, ears flopping down.

“Sta--… Starting fresh?” she asks, gruffness leaving her voice.

“Yeah! Like, from the first episode.” You take a sip, “I’m not gonna start him on the episode we’re on, else we’d be spoiling him.”

“Oh. Well, I’m not coming,” she says, the rough edge returning to her voice. She crosses her arms, looking away from you.

“What? Aww, why not?” You ask, disappointed, “You love this show!”

“Yeah, and I don’t like Rudy,” she retorts, “He’s way too… Too bubbly. And happy, and weird, and I don’t like him.”

“But aren’t you happy?”

“Yeah, sure I am, but… Ugh.” she trails off, turning her back towards you. You barely avoid getting absolutely whapped by her tail. Your shoulders fall… Something wells up in the pit of your stomach, and it’s not the coffee. “I dunno what you see in him.”

“Well… The offer’s still open, Lu,” you remind her, before finishing your coffee.

After leaving the mug in the sink, you make your way back to your room, where you find Rudy. He’s standing in front of your mirror, gently brushing the knots from his hair. His ears prick up when you enter, and he faces you with a tender smile.

“Oh, hi! Good morning, deerie! Sorry for using your brush, I was juuust finishing up.” Running his hands through his hair, you catch a glimpse of a golden zipper along his back. He lifts his hair, tying it into a ponytail with his bow. “Aaand, ready. So! What’re we doing today?”

You explain along the way back to the living room. Rudy jingles and clops along behind you as you lead him down the hall. He waves at Lu as you pass the kitchen, but she only scoffs in return. Looking back at him, you could see the worry written all over his face.

“I’m sorry for causing trouble last night,” he says, fidgeting with his fingers.

“It’s… it’s alright,” you offer in response, “We’ll work on that.”

You hope so, at least. The two of you sit down on the couch, and you put on the show.

“Now before it gets started, let me warn you, Rudy,” you begin, setting the remote down, “This show’s reeeally scaaary.” You lean towards him, wiggling your fingers. He leans back, grimacing.

“S-Scary? I’m not good with, um, with horror…” he replies… You giggle.

“Oh, don’t worry. It’s not that scary,” you reassure him. “It’s like… Well, you’ll see.”

It takes him a while to get used to it, but he soon does, to your delight. By the next episode, you’re leaning against him. It feels nice, but you do wish Lupa was here.

“Hey, Rudy, I’ve got a question,” you pipe up. He tilts his head.

“Sure! What’s up?”

“How are you… Well…” you gesticulate as you try to form your words. “…alive? You’re not like most of my other plushies, save for Lupa.”

“Good… question…?” He slowly replies, tilting his head as he looks to be deep in thought. “I guess I don’t know! Sorry, um… One day, I was content to be the way I was, and then… I wasn’t?” he tilts his head further left, then right, as he speaks, bells lightly jingling and ringing.

“Does that explain the whole… name thing too?” you ask.

“Oh, yeah! I realized I wasn’t really a girl, I guess? So now I’m not!” he explains. Sounds about right.

“What about… here?” you ask as you raise a hand, stopping before you touch his top scars. Top stitches?

“Oh, these? Well, when I figured I wasn’t a girl, I guess I thought I didn’t need much of a chest anymore. So I… removed it!”

“You removed it?” You’re incredulous for a moment, but you give it a bit more thought. If Lupa could turn you into a plushie just through touch, you suppose anything was possible…

“Yep! Removed it! Though… Between you ‘n me, I kinda liked having a chest… So, sometimes I… Um…” He trails off, his eye scanning over your couch, “Oh – Can I eat this please?” he asks, picking up a pillow.

“…Sure?” you squint. Where’s this going…?

“Thank you!” he replies politely, before gnawing the case off the pillow. He grabs handfuls of stuffing, tossing them into his mouth and chewing it like cotton candy. As he eats, you notice his chest begin to fill out… Steadily growing softer, cushier until it’s a fluffy, simplistic bust.

Oh my gosh.

“I dunno if this makes me less of a boy or not, but… Sometimes I feel cute when I’m like this,” he admits, his voice growing more and more quiet. “I-It depends on the day, though. I dunno. What do you think?” Something about it makes you feel… inspired? It’s hard to find the word – but you just want to comfort him.

“Absolutely not.”

“Really?”

“Yeah! You’re… I think what you have here is really unique.” You’re not exactly the best at describing this kind of subject, but you do your best. For what it’s worth, he seems to really appreciate it. The warmest smile crosses his face as he clasps his hands together.

“Awww, thank you deerie!~ Oh, I also gave myself antlers.” Pausing to point at them, “But I’m sure you already know that. Here, you can touch ‘em if you’d like!” He leans them close to you, and you oblige. Reaching up to run your hands along their velvety surface. A squeeze tells you that they’re almost as soft as the rest of him. Almost.

How adorable…

The rest of the day steadily rolls on by, and you spend it getting Rudy more acclimated to his new home. Watching The Horror Hour was fun, so you approach him with a question…

“Hey, Rudy. Wanna watch some holiday movies tonight? It’s Christmas Eve after all.”

To which he replied, “Holiday movies?! Of course!”

You’re looking forward to it, actually! He’s a little bubbly, but you find him to be very sweet. You’d ask Lupa if she wanted to join, but you get the feeling that she’s been avoiding you two. You think she might’ve been in your room the whole day. The more you think about it, the worse you feel, but… You’re not sure what to do…

“Hey, are you okay?” Rudy asks for what must be the third time tonight.

“Yeah! I’m okay,” you reply, just as you’ve twice done before. “Just thinking.”

“Hmm… About your girlfriend?” he asks. A nervous little chuckle makes its way out of you.

“Well… I’m, I’m sure she’s okay! Maybe she’s simply asleep, huh?”

“Nah,” comes a gruff, tired voice, “I’m not asleep.”

“Lupa!” you turn on the couch to look at her, “Hey! We’re watching Rudolph. Have you been alright?” She snorts.

“Without me?” she asks. She looks… disheveled. Did she spend all day asleep? Did she sleep at all? She looks tired.

“Well…” you falter, “I thought you didn’t like this movie.”

“I don’t!”, she retorts, “But… well…” She starts to fidget, clasping and unclasping her fingers… “I-I dunno. Forget it.” She turns and storms off, waving away your attempts to call her back. You slump back onto the couch with a dejected sigh, and Rudy gently rubs your back.

“I just don’t understand…” you muse.

“I get the feeling she doesn’t really like me,” he mumbles, voice heavy with sadness. You don’t want to agree, but… It’s obvious. She told you as much earlier, didn’t she? But you wanted to make this work! You wanted her to be happy that she had a friend that was like her, but…

“Well…” you struggle to admit, “Not really—”

“HellOOOO, party people!!~☆”

You and Rudy freeze as a preppy, bubbly voice thunders from down the hall. Suddenly, a pair of pink arms wrap around you from behind the couch, and a fluffy white face rests atop your head.

“Hey, babe!~ Miss me?”

“L-Lupa!?” you stammer as she picks you up. Plump, pink lips press against your cheek.

“Like yeah, it’s totally me.~ Who else?” She giggles, letting go of you. “I like, heard you guys were havin’ a party and I want in!~☆ Got room for one more?~” She immediately squeezes her way between you two, crawling over the back of the couch in the process. Her curly tail hits you both in the face a few times as it wags up a storm. “So like, what’re we watchin’, huh? Huh?”

“It’s… Ru—”

“—dolph the Red Nosed Reindeer?!” she cuts in as you try to speak, “Oh my gosh, no way, that’s my… Hmm,” she puts a finger to her chin, “I guess I haven’t seen it, but it’s like, probably my fav.~”

“Would you like for us to rewind it, Lupa?” Rudy offers, “Um, nice ponytail by the way!”

“Hehe, sure! Thank you, dear.~” Lulu lilts, “Yours was just so cute, I just had to take it for myself.”

“Well, it looks great!” he grins. Lupa grins back, sharp toothed and a little strained.

“Heh, yeah... Thaaanks.~”

“Yeah…!”, you agree as you start rewinding the movie, “I… I like it.”

“Yaaaay! Aww, thanks babe!~” Lulu cheers. She wraps you in another hug, rubbing her cheek against yours, “Oh, I just love you like, so much, you know that?~” Why does your stomach feel weird? You remember the last time she was like this. Did she still have a few Valentine’s Day pillows left?

She spends the movie practically draped across you, tail wagging.

“Lupa…” You press. You have a bad feeling about this.

“Yeah, hun?”

“This… isn’t you,” you tell her. She blinks, and her hold on you tightens.

“Wh-What do you mean?”, she asks, tilting her head.

“You’re not like this usually! Or—Ever, really! You’re calmer, you’re at least a little more reserved, you’re… This just isn’t you.”

“Well… I thought you’d like me this way, hun! Rudy’s so happy-go-lucky, so honest with himself… I’m not like him at all!”

“And… Well, I’ve gotta keep up, right?” she continues before you can get a word in, “I’ve got competition!”

“C-Competition?” you ask, flabbergasted.

“Yeah! You’ve been spending so much time with him. You obviously love him more, don’t you?”

You don’t say anything.

“…Don’t you?” She looks back, towards Rudy. He doesn’t say anything either, only shrinking away when he’s looked upon. Her gaze lands on you once again, her grin noticeably more strained. She gingerly lets go of you, stepping off the couch. “Well? Like, say something! I’m not enough!” Her shout is enough to knock you out of your daze.

“I—I don’t, I don’t love Rudy. We’ve only just met,” you meekly explain. You look to Rudy for confirmation, and he silently nods.

“…Did you think Rudy and I were dating, Lupa?”

“Well—Like, yeah, it was… like, pretty obvious to me that you… That… um.” As she speaks, she seems to run out of steam. Her pink fur steadily bleeds its color, returning to its shades of grey. Her hair loses its bottle-blonde color as well, returning to that deep blue. She trails off, lookin between the two of you. “…Enjoy the movie, ‘kay? I’m gonna… go.”

You watch as she hurries out of the room.

You aren’t far behind her. By the time you get to your room, you could hear sobbing come from beyond the door. You make a move to knock, but she probably wouldn’t mind if you just went inside. So, you do just that.

You find Lupa curled up on your bed, wrapped in blankets to the point where she looked like a big, fabric mountain. You gingerly approach her, placing a hand on her side.

“Lupa…”

You don’t get an answer. She simply continues to cry. It’s a while before she says anything.

“I’m such a dumbass…”

“How so?” You sit on the bed next to her, rubbing her through the blanket.

“Well, I blew it, didn’t I? I made myself look like an idiot ‘cause I thought… Well…”

“That Rudy and I were dating?” you ask. She sniffles.

“Yeah…”

“Well…” narration? “Why would that be a problem?” you offer. She pulls the blankets from her face, looking up at you. Thankfully, she’s back to her normal self.

“W-what?”

“Let’s say, I do love Rudy. I’d still love you, Lulu. I wouldn’t just leave you. I could date both of you!”

“You can do that?”

“Yeah. But… Lupa, I’m not even sure if I love Rudy yet. I like him, but… We’ve only just met.”

“I guess…” she muses, looking away. You run your hand along her cheek, and she looks back up at you.

“I dunno…” She continues, “I guess I thought you’d… throw me away.”

“Throw you—Why would I do that?”

“Mmm…” She hums, “It’s not outta the realm of possibility. And why wouldn’t you? Rudy’s so much nicer to you. He’s not mean to you like I am. He’s a lot comfier about… who he is. I’m just kind of… I dunno. Sometimes, I don’t know what I’m doin’. I love you, but I get scared. I worry about what you think of me.”

“But I love you, Lupa. Sure, there are things you could improve on, but… The fact that you try is what I love about you. You care a lot more than even you might think.”

“But… this isn’t Rudy’s fault,” you make sure to add, “You didn’t make him feel very welcome.”

“I know…” she quietly replies.

“Don’t you think you should apologize?”

“I… Yeah… I should. Where is he?”

“Um, you don’t… have to do that.” Rudy says. You look back to see him peeking around the corner of the doorframe. “I might’ve been listening in. Sorry,” he offers a sheepish grin.

“It’s… it’s alright I guess,” Lupa replies. “It’s only fair, I’m sorry for kinda makin’ you out to be a villain I guess.”

“It’s okay! I’m sorry for making you feel, um. Like I was coming between you two. I really didn’t mean it.”

“Yeah…” she sighs, “I know.”

“Hey,” Rudy approaches you two, “Lupa, wanna shake on it?” She tilts her head as he holds out his hand.

“Eh… Yeah, sure.” Taking it in a paw, the two shake. “Water under the bridge, I guess.”

When Rudy offers to get back to the movie, you and Lupa both decline. It’s been a long day, and honestly? You think you’re ready for bed. You find it hard to get back to watching movies after what happened.

So, you all turn in a little early for the night. You hear Lupa and Rudy exchange another round of quiet apologies as you all get settled in. She holds you especially tight tonight.

--

You feel cold.

You slowly stir, drowsily reaching for something to cover yourself with. Your hand expects to find the soft, silky fur of your lover’s arm, but your blind swipes find only air. Light snoring accompanied by a gentle jingle and a dull red light let you know where Rudy is, but there’s a noticeably Lupa shaped void in the bed between you two. Rubbing your eyes, you quietly hop out of bed, careful not to disturb your other plushie.

You venture through the house, hoping to find Lupa in what little light there is. A long shadow crosses the living room, and you follow it towards its source. Through the window, you find Lupa on the porch. Leaned against the railing, she seems to be holding something…

She flinches when she hears the door creak open, hackles raised as she turns to look at you. Once her eye lands on you however, she quickly settles down.

“Oh. Hey.” She sounds dejected.

“Hey, Lu. Everything okay?”, you ask, crossing your arms. Not out of malice, but mostly to bury your hands in your armpits. “What do you have there?”

She gives you a wry, wobbly grin before showing you. It’s your toy from before.

“Lobo? You kept it?” you ask. You figured that she’d digested it by now. “But… why?”

“Well...” she avoids looking at you directly. Always looking at that toy, or something else. “You could say it reminds me of… uh, me. Y’know?”

“Of you?”, you repeat. You look between the two of them. Grey fur, blue hair, thick brows… It starts to dawn on you.

“Here, uh. Let’s say… Um- For example, you…” Ahem. She catches herself, taking a deep breath.

“Let’s say, you spend a long time on a shelf. A real long time. One day, a girl and her parents show up. She picks you. They tell her you’re kind of a boy’s toy, but she insists. She takes you home.”

“And life’s pretty good for a while,” she continues, rolling the toy in her paw as she speaks, “She loves you to bits.” Her other paw drifts up to her face, to where her other eye would be.

“…Literally. Um, and you grow to admire her too. Her long hair, her attitude…” She trails off for a moment, setting the toy down and running her paws through her hair, “It kinda, I dunno, sparks something inside you? I guess? Watchin’ her, lovin’ her, you… realize somethin’ about yourself.”

This makes… a lot of sense, actually. You think back to what Rudy said, about how he didn’t want to be a girl anymore…

“So this is—was, you?” you ask, grabbing the toy. “But why didn’t you tell me?” She grimaces.

“How was I supposed to bring it up?”

“Maybe… When I first showed this to you?” You lift it towards her, and she shies away a bit. “I didn’t understand why at first, but you hated looking at this thing, didn’t you?”

“I didn’t hate it! O-Or… him. I just… I dunno. It’s weird, I do hate him, but I can’t look away from him either. Whether I like it or not, I’m… kinda lookin’ at myself. Or like, my brother? Or somethin’? I-I dunno, I… Heheh, ohh…” She starts to brush her hair while she talks, and you decide it’s best to hide the toy behind your back. Lupa seems to calm down once you do that.

“As for why I didn’t tell you, the truth is… I didn’t know what you’d think of me.” She rests her shoulders on the railing, angling her head while she looks down at you. “I’m not exactly ‘as advertised’, y’know?”

“…Neither was Rudy.”

“Oh yeah,” her expression darkens, “Him.”

“What’s your problem with him, anyway?” you step closer, putting a hand on her thigh, “I thought you two made up.”

“Yeah, we did, but… He’s just so full of himself. He’s so happy, he’s comfortable with his whole… thing, y’know?”

“But aren’t you happy?”

“I’m happy with you.”

“What about yourself?” you ask, and she just silently looks at you, brow furrowed. You match her gaze. “And what’s this about being ‘as advertised’ anyway? Lupa, you’re a girl, right?”

“I-I think? I mean—Yeah! Of course I am! What kinda question is that?”

“Then say it.”

“I’m a girl?” She looks a little incredulous, so you keep going.

“Louder.”

“I’m a girl!”

“Louder!”

“I’m a girl!!”

“Now get down here so I can see you better!”, you demand. She does just that, and you give her cheeks a squeeze. “You’re my adorable girlfriend who I will always love and cherish. Who cares if you used to be a boy or whatever? That’s not you now, and I think that’s pretty cool. Say it, Lupa. You’re a cute girl, aren’t you?”

“Yeah…” She admits quietly, rubbing her cheek. “I’m a cute girl.” Her ears flatten as you pat her head.

“That’s right. Love you, hun.”

“Love you too… Oh my gosh, you look pretty cold.”

“I’m fiii~ii~iine,” you do your best to reassure her. You don’t do a good job. She huffs.

“I dunno ‘bout that. Here, babe. I’ve got just the thing for you.” She pulls you close, right into her soft, fuzzy embrace. She squeezes you extra hard, tail whishing from side to side, until…

POMF~!

She lets you go. You feel your hair drape around your shoulders, and a fluffy new weight sweeps the ground behind you. You look at your fuzzy, plum and cream paws, putting one to your long snout.

Well, you’re not cold anymore.

“Lupa… Did you have to make my chest so big?” You ask, feeling your cheeks burn as you paw up your stuffed-up bust.

“What’cha mean? I didn’t do that.~ Just like I didn’t specifically make you into a wolf. You must’ve wanted it that way. Wonder what that says about you, hm~?”

You look away, jamming a soft, puffy paw into her face. She swipes it aside, giggling as she lets herself fall on top of you. You both roll on the porch, laughing until you end up in each other’s embrace, tails curling around one another.

“It’s kinda late, huh?”, you eventually ask.

“Yeah, so?”

“We should get some sleep…”

“But plushies don’t have to sleep. Not really,” Lupa replies. Right before letting out a yawn.

“Sleeping feels good though…” you counter, and she can’t argue with that. “Plus, I’d feel bad leaving Rudy alone.”

“Fine, fine…” she sighs. After helping you up, she leads you back inside. Both your footpaws and hers make quiet, muffled thumps against the carpet. It’s a quiet trip, and you both take your time. Holding each other’s paws as you walk. It feels nice, getting to hold her paw normally. Usually, your hand’s way too small for her.

“I think I know another reason why I didn’t like him…” Lupa quietly breaks the silence.

“Hmm? Why’s that?”

“He kinda deadnamed me. Well- Almost. When we first met.”

You cringe, remembering that conversation. You didn’t understand at first, but now that you know everything? Not the best first impression…

“You should probably tell him that. I don’t think he knew…” you advise. He offers a noncommittal little ‘Yeah…’

“I’m serious. He’s a little… Inexperienced, I think. I know you think he’s got it together, but he’s still figuring himself out.”

“Alright, alright. Oh yeah, what’re you gonna do with him?”

“Rudy? Well, I’m keeping him around, I mean…”

“No no, him.” She points at your other paw, and the toy it holds.

“Oh. Well… I’ll probably resell this. Or give it away. I don’t think this is the best place for it. I’ll make sure he goes to a loving home, Lu.” You offer her a smile, and she tenderly returns the look.

“If it’s okay to ask… What happened with you at your old home? Did your owner…?”

“Well, it’s like I said before. When I thought you’d throw me away? Somethin’ like that happened. She went to some school, and I got put in a box. Eventually, I got sold at a yard sale.” She pauses, looking at you. “…And I guess it was the best thing that ever happened to me in the long run, huh?”

The two of you share another hug, and you give her a peck on the nose. Giggling, you try to enter your room. Unfortunately, she had the same idea. The frame might be big enough for one tall, wide plushie, but not two. It only makes you giggle more, and you take turns shushing each other. After all, you’d hate to wake Rudy. After a bit of pushing and pulling, you come unstuck, and you lead your girlfriend towards the bed. Flanking either side of the sleeping deer, you and your fellow wolf climb into bed, settling into a soft, shortly sleeping pile of pillows and plushes.

The next day…

“Dude, it’s—It’s okay, calm down.”

The End.

[terribledactyl]

I hate to be #thatbitch who’s joyless in main tags, but I wish fanartists and fic writers put just a *hair* more thought into how they write/draw Viktor’s disability, especially in modern AUs.

To start, let’s try to unpack what in particular seems to be his disability. It’s nonspecified in show, but we can at least look at the areas he seems to be struggling in most. I’ll try not to be too biased towards projecting my own disability onto him and only talk about what’s shown on screen.

Let’s start with the obvious: examining his mobility aids. Through most of the “past” (from childhood to first meeting Jayce) he only uses a cane. I’m going to focus on the ones that seemed to give him the most support, which are his crutch and his brace.

The brace seems to be stabilizing his whole leg, with extra support around the knee and ankle, plus two straps at the thigh and one at the calf. Consistent with what we’ve seen in childhood flashbacks as well, where his ankle is held at an angle I recognize most as what mine look like when I roll it.

When he trips in the flashback, it seems to be primarily over his own feet, which emphasizes the weak ankle to me. As a whole, that leg seems to be capable of supporting a bit of weight, but not consistently.

We also see him transition from a cane to a crutch. It’s not a more stylish version of the cane, it’s got a different function. And not just any crutch, but an ergonomic one. I recognize it off my wishlist.

Now branching into personal interpretation and what I’d like to see more of, I think he needed that extra support all along. Using a cane when you need more support than that really sucks, spoken from experience. So why would someone use a cane with no brace when they need a crutch and a brace?

The truth is, there are a lot of reasons. Pride, cost, internalized ableism, any mix of those and more. And I think if you’re going to give him only a cane in your modern AU, I’d like to see some consideration as to why someone who needs more support than that is only using a cane.

Is he having a good day, and he keeps the crutch and brace for emergencies? Would a good brace be too expensive? Can he not afford an ergonomic crutch? Would he benefit from having more chairs in school/work/The Lab(tm)? Would he benefit from being an ambulatory wheelchair user? Could he afford one even if he did? Is he too stubborn to admit he needs more support than he’s getting from a cane? Embarassed? Afraid of what it means for him? If he’s only using a cane, does he have to go out less and that’s what makes him more of a homebody? These are all REALLY interesting things to explore!

This is me not so subtley begging people to explore his disability more, because it affects everything. I’d really love to see more fanart of him with a crutch and not a cane, although he does use canes canonically into adulthood so I can’t say that’s not a founded choice to make. I’d love for fic writers and fanartists who give him a cane to know that’s an intentional choice and how it would change how he interacts with the world, even in small ways.

Learn the different types of braces and what they’re good for! Learn about bandages, tape, compression braces, hinged braces! Learn about forearm crutches, ergonomic crutches, canes, walkers, wheelchairs! Just please be intentional with the choices you make!

[icewindandboringhorror]

I made a few new wax seal stamps out of clay (like the ones I did for my worldbuilding stuff forever ago), this time just of random symbols that I thought might look good done in the style of painting over the raised part of the wax or etc. :0c Some of them aren't carved deep enough to really show up that well, but overall they worked okay for being clay lol

[problemswithbooks]

BNHA Ch. 429

So, I guess Toga is dead, and people are losing it.

I get why people liked her--she was actually queer, being pan/bisexual. She was representation for them and that's rare in shonen manga. But here's the thing--she was bad representation at best and insulting at worst. Nor do I think she was made queer because Hori really wanted to represent a queer girl. Himiko was always the author's poorly hidden fetish--she just was. She liked girls as much as boys because Hori wanted to draw a girl touching sexually on another girl. You can see this in how he draws her and Ochako in solo pics together.

I mean, people seem to understand this when it comes to Momo and her outfit being overly sexual or that both Himiko and Hagakure's Quirks either leave them naked or they have to be naked to use them. These are excuses to draw girls in a sexual manner. Himiko being into other girls is the same thing and that's the kindest interpretation.

Given how Himiko acts and her Quirk being heavily coded sexual desire, and therefore her use of it against someone unwilling being sexual assault, it could just being playing into harmful stereotypes of predatory gays.

As a queer person myself I just found Toga insulting. She was designed to be overly sexual and give the male author a female character that he could draw being suggestive with his other female characters. When he did flesh out her character, her backstory was eventually the trope/fear of straight people, that gay people will be so overcome with their lust that they end up sexually assaulting them.

In the end Ochako accepts this part of Toga and says she'll giver her blood forever, but as much as a lot of readers took that that as some deep lesbian confession, for me it really fell flat. Hori never really gave any of the main kids time to actually learn about their villain or show how that changed their minds toward them. Shoto only works because Touya is his brother (even though he admits he barely remembers him). But Ochako goes from not thinking of Toga at all pre-first war, to one thought about her during her speech, to suddenly caring about her so much she--given how Toga's quirk is coded, is willing to essentially fulfill Toga's kink for the rest of their lives.

It's weird and it comes out of nowhere. It's made even stranger because Toga doesn't actually change or show remorse for anything she did, which included personally hunting and murdering people before she joined the LOV. None of the death and destruction she is also partially responsible for is brought up either, something that Ochako was rightfully upset about during the first war when less people and property had been destroyed. Ochako just accepts everything about her suddenly and her past serious crimes are forgotten so they can cuddle and cry.

Am I shocked Toga died--a little. I didn't think Hori would have the guts to kill off a young girl character, especially one that he clearly got a lot of joy drawing in sexy poses. But at the same time, once he killed off Shigaraki and ended Touya's story with his slow death, I'm not surprised he went the same route with Toga.

This isn't Naruto--Hori isn't really kind to characters that do something wrong, especially if they don't try and change. Enji, Bakugo, Hawks, and Aoyama all sort of got punished for what they did. Enji is the worst off, being permanently crippled, missing an arm and burned everywhere. Bakugo's hand is damaged, his heart weaker, plus he feels bad that Izuku lost his Quirk so they can't compete the same way he wanted them to. Aoyama, despite doing way less wrong and even helping his class during the forest raid, still leaves school because he doesn't feel he earned being there yet. Hawks lost his Quirk and even though him running the HPSC could be seen as good for him, Hawks always wanted a break, but now he has one of the most time consuming and stressful jobs out there.

So, if this is what characters who actively did good things and even changed and fought to be better get, what would characters who never changed and never did anything positive for anyone but their friends/themselves get?

Before the last Arc started, when so many people said the LoV were 100% going to be redeemed I had doubts and always thought it wouldn't make sense with how the story presented redemption or treated other non-LoV villains in the past. That if the main LoV did get some happy ending where they were bffs with the main cast it would clash with how other characters had been treated.

That doesn't mean that I think how Shigaraki, Toga, and Touya ended up in the manga was well done. I think their endings fit far better then a last minute redemption would have, but at the same time you can feel how rushed everything has been since the end of the first war arc. Hori was done with this story months if not years ago, yet he was contractually obligated to finish it. Because of that I think he left out as much as possible. As much as I think he's written some pretty obsessive stuff, particularly towards women, I can't really fully blame him cutting corners or the story being shit at the end.

We know Manga authors, particularly those that work with Jump are treated like shit. That they suffer incredibly long hours at times not even getting to go home for days. We've gotten messages for Hori saying he's sick quite a few times. On top of that, weekly story telling is not a great way to tell a cohesive narrative. Ideas probably change week to week or at least month to month and you can't go back and change the last chapter no matter how much you need or want to. Then you remember he also gave a lot of ideas to the people who made the movies, which would also change his plans for how he wanted the main story to go.

The story is bad--it has been for a while, but I think a lot of people put their hopes on their favorite characters getting a happy ending, even when there were signs that probably wasn't going to be the case. I know how much it sucks when a character you love gets a shitty ending (Stain was my fav, but he got an absolute dogshit ending) but at least, knowing what I know about the industry I can't really blame Hori the way I see some other people doing. Criticize it, sure, but saying Hori hates his readers or is horrible writer isn't true. BNHA was popular for a reason--he's great with characters and the beginning of the story had some great pacing. We'll never know, but I wouldn't be surprised if BNHA could have been amazing if Hori had been treated better and the story hadn't needed a chapter every week.

If anything BNHA has taught me how much a story suffers when authors/artists are treated like crap and forced to work past burnout.

[slumbergoblin]

Hi Mei :)

[camellcat]

I wonder if Scott's alpha teeth made him nervous even after he got used to them just Being A Thing Now. If, when he would catch the glint of red eyes staring back at him, he had to still an instinctive flinch and try not to think of all the people who have threatened to or almost ended his life with that same vibrant hue. If the feeling of blood under his claws, on his skin, in his hair and soaked into his clothes ever became normal, if it was ever something truly able to be numbed and ignored. If seeing his shadow with pointed ears and elongated claws and shredded shirts gave him day terrors like the Nogitsune never went away; a paranoia that everyone could see how fucking messed up (how scary) he was. If Scott ever truly moved on from feeling afraid of being a monster, of becoming a Monster. Not all monsters do monstrous things, but all Scott has ever seen is monsters who choose to act like their namesake.

If he continues to be cautious and aware of his teeth, of his eyes, of how blood is overwhelming and what it's like to be afraid --- because if he looses his humanity, his tie to slow healing and faulty lungs and what it feels like to be prey to somebody else, how will he be any different from the monsters that plague him?

Scott is the outlier, and he does not let his monstrous features define how he chooses to behave and who is chooses to be.

[jichanxo]

how different is your creative process between writing and drawing (and in which areas)? do you have a different approach in each artform? if you have an idea, you first think how you'd write it or draw it?

This is definitely going to be long so. Cut.

Just to preface, obviously both writing and drawing are a form of art, but I tend to use the word “art” when I mean illustration or drawing, so that’s what I’m going to do here. And of course a disclaimer that I’m only speaking to my subjective experience.

Tbh I don’t think my approach to both is that different from each other, which is odd, because I’m used to thinking of them as very different processes. Probably because the mediums themselves are so different. But like with my writing, I tend to improvise. Feel it out, see how things go, throw ideas at the wall. I would probably say that I’m more willing to experiment with/scrap my art than my writing. Probably because I’m more confident with my art than my writing, so I find it easier to make judgments like that, or because I’ve made so much that throwing stuff away when it isn’t working is very easy. I get a bit more precious about my writing. I always want to keep it or at least try to adapt it into something less bad, lmao. I’m also just not as confident in my ability to judge what writing is worth keeping or worth permanently deleting. I just haven’t polished that skill for writing as much as I have for art.

With regards to planning my art – I definitely do sometimes, because I consider art my Serious Hobby, which means I do like to have a go at more serious projects as opposed to just improvising all the time (a contrast to my writing where my only “serious project” is senseific, and I fell into that by accident). The things I plan out are the idea/s I want to convey, and what imagery would express that. (like this IW art, and the second one in this umineko post) Or sometimes the imagery gets stuck in my head and I work from that. (yagami’s hair clinging to his neck here)

I actually find that planning too much can be detrimental to my art process. That is to say, not in terms of figuring out ideas/themes, but doing too much drafting. I find it very difficult to do things like clean lineart unless I’m having a Weirdly Good Art Moment, so I just don’t. Hence a lot of my art is very sketchy. I’m just not good at capturing the same looseness with “proper” lineart than with my sketches, so I keep them. Not worth fussing over. This is what works for me.

(even in this, and the first image here, you can see a lot of breaks and incomplete looking lines. not to say necessarily that this is a bad thing of course, but you can see that even in what I consider my “polished” work, I won’t use “proper” linework, but instead a high quality/detailed sketch. I imagine some other artists would have their proper linework stage after these sketches, but i choose to stop here)

this probably reads like I’m talking myself down, but that’s not really what I’m meaning to say – my point is that I don’t figure out details even for my bigger pieces, and that with drawn art I have a better time judging where my time is best spent. I don’t think I have a strong understanding of my writing by comparison, so I can’t decide how to play to my strengths or anything like that, I just have to see how i go.

For writing, either it’s “i’m in the mood for it” or “i’m not in the mood for it”. For art, it’s “today is a good day/bad day”, “today’s a painting day”, “today feels like masking”, “today I just want to sketch”, “today I’m too loose for what I want to work on”, “today I’m too stiff”. You can see the difference in my ability to judge, yeah? So a big difference is to do with just my own (relative) inexperience with writing as opposed to drawing.

I think the other major factor is the differences in the mediums themselves. A fanfic is sequential. There’s a change in time. Illustrations are by nature a single moment in time. Big difference there. Of course, there are comics and animatics and other art that’s both drawn and sequential, but since I don’t do a lot of that, just count that as exceptions for now (and in a way, those are kind of like a combination of writing and illustration, aren’t they?) I find there are some ideas that are conveyed easier or better through writing, and others where the better option is art.

So to answer your last question, often ideas come to me pre-packaged as a “writing idea” or an “art idea”, rather than having to decide that separately. In the case that a sequence is better conveyed with a visual element, that’s when it’s comic time. The gorillashipping comic is a great example of this. The punchline is at its best when it’s not explained in words, and the expression of the final panel does all the heavy lifting. I pitched this idea initially in words (as a joke on discord), but the comic version has more punch.

Comics are also great for when you want to avoid explaining context, and for when you want to force the reader to take a specific pace. Here’s the example I’m thinking of.

The visual space dedicated to the fighting forces you to take time to process, and that time is important for the buildup to the punchline. This wouldn’t work as well if we cut this down to, say, the four panels of the last example. So yeah, timing. And then my other point – context – why are these two fighting? I don’t know. Where are they? I don’t know. It’s not necessary for the joke. The same is true of the gorillashipping joke. How did the relationship between kiryu and kaito happen to make this even remotely possible? I don’t know. But I don’t need to explain it in a joke comic. With writing I find that it feels more necessary to make context clear to the reader so they understand what’s happening, but with illustrations, it’s a lot easier to skip over that. Obviously this isn’t impossible in a written format, but that’s just my personal opinion.

Admittedly I think this second example is doable with just pure writing (replace all the panels with descriptions of the fight that take long enough to simulate the time it takes for the reader to digest the build up, then make the punchline a wham line, yknow), but it varies on a case to case basis. Also I would not want to write fighting. Lmao. I’m not… any good at that. So I guess it is also just in part about playing to strengths.

Anyway, enough comic side tangent. I’ve already started talking about it there, but was going to do a comparison between writing and art as mediums. The main thing, I find, is that they have different strengths. More than strengths/weaknesses though, the mediums themselves convey some things with ambiguity, and other things with detail.

Like I first mentioned, time: it’s easier to convey the passage of time with writing than with illustration. And like I said before with comics – conveying context – because an illustration captures a single moment in time, it’s a lot easier to avoid context entirely, while it’s harder to avoid in writing. I’ve drawn kuwagami cuddles before, and there’s no background, nothing discernable as to the lead up or any other detail. And that’s great! I don’t want to have to invent a plausible reason for them to end up hugging. I can just do it, right? But sometimes it’s the context that makes things significant, so you do want it there. A better job for writing. Writing allows you to be detailed with your context, while illustration leaves it ambiguous. Different strengths. You just pick which best fits the situation.

It’s a similar case for a lot of different factors – they're conveyed differently through both mediums, and depending on your idea, some results are more desirable than others. Rather than explaining, it’s probably better to do a direct comparison. (If it makes any difference to your curiosity, I did the drawing first then the writing. You’ve caught me on a good art day, what a nice sketch…)

I’ll try not to talk too much because I think the comparison and table say enough, but you can see how, despite depicting basically the same thing, these two things feel pretty different from each other. The mediums do different things. The mood of both is similar, but not quite the same. It’s these differences that inform the choice of mediums instinctually. (but again. points at disclaimer. as is true with all “rules” about art, none of these are absolute. you can make an illustration that conveys a strong context. you can write fic that favours describing facial expressions and leaves the intended emotion ambiguous. i’m generalising to make a point here.)

I guess the other thing is that it’s pretty easy to do writing in bed on my phone compared to my art setup, lmao. Convenience and timing also play into it probably.