#i really should fix my sleeping schedule
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Here's a 3 am drawing I made of my Yuusona and their kitty form instead of sleeping
I'm off to sleep now, goodnight
passes out
#twst#disney twst#twst wonderland#twst oc#twst yuu#twst art#twst fanart#disney twisted wonderland#can you tell i don't know what im doing?#i wanted to draw the prefect#and then i wanted to draw a cat#so i did both#amazing i know#i really should fix my sleeping schedule
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#bad meme I made because I got no sleep lmao#I should really fix my sleep schedule tbh#bsd#bungo stray dogs#bsd memes#bsd ranpo#bsd tecchou#bsd poe#chuuya bsd#dazai bsd#soukoku#ranpoe
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I feel like you’re slowly amassing an army of moots that don’t sleep/have bad sleep schedules XD
#first thing that came to mind#convinced that none of my mutuals sleep and neither do I#real though#I should really fix my sleep schedule#asks#dragon
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seriously can catastrophes stop happening for five minutes my brain is already fried from the ones we're already experiencing
#I fucking. missed d&d tonight by accident#I straight up forgot#and just didn't show up to the session#my sleep schedule is absolutely fucked#I should be sleeping now but brain won't shut up#my creative output is the lowest it's ever been and I've been in some level of depressive funk since like early january#I am just deeply unfathomably exhausted#like mentally and spiritually#all the time#my memory and sense of time are both shit#my spelling is worse than it used to be for some reason??#I really don't know what to do to make my brain start functioning again it's frankly worrying me#I couldn't even handle college so it should come as no surprise that I'm reacting poorly to the world being a perpetual screaming trash fir#and yet#idk it's been hitting again lately that I have never succeeded at anything in my life and just keep tripping and falling up for some reason#fucking everyone is in hell right now and with my overall success rate I should be dead in a ditch but I'm actually doing spectacularly#due to a series of improbable accidents and weird circumstances that happened to turn out in my favor instead of completely fucking me#aside from the looming spectre of my various failed attempts to have some kind of life trajectory#it just doesn't feel like this can keep up forever#like surely at some point the luck has got to run out I can't just keep living like some kind of folkloric trickster archetype#but my motivation and sense of purpose kind of died after the last failed attempt so I'm still just here#doing whatever this is#maybe I should drive out to the coast#maybe staring at the ocean would fix me I've been away from it for too long#I mean it can't make me worse#I should wait until further into summer though so I don't have to drive back in the dark#everyone around here has trucks with those goddamn LED headlights and I've got a little sedan that's directly in their blast zone
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; w ; i said i was gonna be productive and get stuff done today but then i got overwhelmed and took a three hour nap and im not sure if its too late to take adderall or not
#i mean on one hand its not like i have to get up at any certain time or anything so....#i guess its fine?#but also im kinda sorta trying to FIX my sleep schedule rn#not#WORSEN IT#gosh diddly dangit. fudge and beans. jeez louise. man.#personal#txt posts#vent#i really need to make some food to eat#but to do that i should really go to the grocery store#but to do that i really need to do my laundry#thats tOO MANY TASKS
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Ooh my god everyone hates me I can just feel it I know they do and I can’t even blame them bc I’m acting so fucking childish ugh. I feel bad for thinking that bc nobody’s really done anything that I could solidly point at to justify it and I don’t want to make it sound like they’re the problem bc it’s just me. I know I’m the problem. I don’t know maybe I’m just being paranoid but it’s like I can feel people talking behind my back I can feel it I know what they’re (probably) saying everyone thinks I’m a selfish childish immature whiny disgusting egotistical annoying self pitying piece of shit and it’s because I am I just am I know I am I keep trying to be better and less of a nuisance to everyone around me but I feel like everything I do just makes things worse !!!! I feel so alone and it’s all my own fault
#mine.txt#negative#vent#I shouldn’t even be awake idk why I keep doing this to myself#I keep trying to fix my sleep schedule and failing and self sabotaging#I don’t know what’s wrong with me sometimes#I should probably eat too but I don’t really want to#my head hurts ughhh
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do i wanna be u or do i wanna see u
#dang this is the first time in a while that ive been up past 10pm#im kinda sleepy but i really dont wanna sleep . i realised that i like staying up a little too much even tho i get really tired at school#like i literally fixed my sleep schedule but im actively trying to fuck it up again . me thinks ..... that i need a lobotomy#or maybe i should just be put down. thats better#WHO FINALLY GOES FROM SLEEPING 3HRS TO 12+ HRS .... AT HUMANS HRS TOO . BUT PREFERS 3HRS???#apparently im that ediot#also im obsessed w this band again#been difficult since i cut off that friend but i will be okay its been 7 months w no contact w him . hershey is strong tbh
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so i made a thing
i got a drawing app on my phone and made a little comic in it for fun and to try it out. so enjoy what me being up at 12am has made!
#i should really fix my sleep schedule#i didn't clean up the lines to much either but eh#but anyways gays!#welcome to dreamworld#wtdw#everdrew#everpost
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put some compression sleeves on both knees and had the brief thought of "damn. im toru oikawa." because one is white and one is black.
#babe no you aren't you just have chronic pain.#i should PROBABLY not sleep with these in but also. OUGH.#my knees have been killing me all week especially my left knee 😭#i may have to just wear them over or under my suit tomorrow ;;;#depending on how it feels under i may put it over especially cus i wont be able to take it OFF if i wear it underneath#anyway#i should really sleep so i can try to get my sleep schedule fixed at least a little bit#shh ac
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had to lay down. woke up at nearly 7am. got overwhelmed by our sleep schedule once again being fucked because yesterday we actually went to bed at roughly the right time and thought "oh this is great we've fixed it". decided that we're just gonna deal with it and it'll be fine. and then our brain decided that no actually we're gonna have a combination of emotions that's maybe gonna give me another breakdown if I can't figure out how to deal with them but I have no fucking clue what to do with them
#personal#thoughts#🍬 post#vent post#I fucking hate this. we barely did anything yesterday because we were too fatigued and then slept at a weird time#and we're still too fatigued to do much and we need to do the stuff we'd normally do before bed#and by the time we've done that we'll probably need to nap because we will feel so much worse if we don't#and I don't want to have to try and fit my whole day around trying to fix my sleep schedule but once again what else do I fucking do#and the whole last month has been like this over and over and it's because we got covid in February and have been way more fatigued#so we have to keep laying down and when we do that we just pass the fuck out#also waking up at like 7am (shortly before what should be our bedtime) leads to us feeling really sick#the way we used to feel when we had to get up early for college. like our body can't handle it and makes us feel like shit#and to top it all off the emotional shit I'm dealing with has nothing to do with this and it just another overwhelming thing on top of it#dysphoria and homesickness my fucking beloathed#I just want to be awake at the right time and have a nice stress free day and feel relaxed for once#like we keep trying to take time to relax and set aside time to do something fun and relieve some stress#and we still end up just as stressed and when we decided to spend a whole day just trying to relax we just ended up even more anxious#I'm so fucking tired. just let me sleep at the right time. just let me fucking relax for once in my life
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I don’t even drink coffee but my brain likes League of Legends lore too much for its own good
#meanwhile I’ve been immensely struggling to get my classwork done for the past couple weeks#and I was on the road to fixing my sleep schedule but oops#I uhm. really should make that call to get an adhd diagnosis. I’ll just show them that post#tanner talks
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got some work done , , , , , , feeling slightly more normal and yet still somewhat mourning the week ahead , , , , , , augh , , , , , , ,
#skjdfhgslkjdf the stiff throat and headache have faded somewhat but i can sense a general feeling of malaise hanging over me ; ;#as tempted as i am to continue working until the early hours like i did last night i should#really fix my sleep schedule in preparation for intern things#(and also rest my body well in the event that we enter the dreaded)#('I Cannot Sleep Because Every 5-15 Minutes I Wake Up Coughing So Hard I Throw Up™' zone hhh ; ; ; )#sending curses and agonies to the universe for this Dreadful Timing
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I fuckin hate warm water
#blog#is this even worth tagging with blog#honestly I might just have to add more#im just bored rn in class tbh#sucks tho bc we have to study a chapter and a half of discrete math in 2 lectures now bc the schedule got pushed back#but hey it was worth all of the breaks we got this semester yho#i haven't watched op in forever huh#or much of anything tbh#i was supposed to watch a movie for class today#i ended up just doing a 16 star run of sm64#didnt matter tho bc I fuckin overslept the class#i really gotta figure out what's happening with that tbh#I might be sleeping with my phone too close#but if I don't listen to anything when falling asleep I can't sleep#but also if I use my earbuds my ears get blocked over time#aaaaand I have a roommate so I can't blast it ou#woe is me#maybe I should also fix my sleep#at least I didn't sleep thru my exam yesterday#oh that algorithms exam was a lot easier than I expected#still expecting a 60 tho ngl#as long as I get above average we will be chillin#(most of my classes are relative grading)#god I just realized my arms are sore#from blj#i can't believe that really fucked me up#i was trying it for like an hour and a half lmao#also funny thing#most of my classes just don't care about the fact that I just wear an earbud in middle of the lecture#even the smaller classes
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It's a sad and broken puka puka...
#im dreading going to sleep. i wonder if i put alarms at 7am will i wake up before any dreams start forming?#sigh#i really should fix my sleep schedule and figure out why i keep having all these nightmares
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oh god ive returned to "i dont have time to take breaks i need to be working constantly" even tho i have specifically designed my schedule to allow myself to take breaks
#vent post#negative#my everything is on fire#i feel like a little pussy bitch for having to take breaks#cause i know everything i need to do isnt that hard#but it IS that hard and i dont know why its getting to be this hard#it didnt used to be...?#why am i so slow again. hello#why is everything hard again#my schedule is not overwhelming but it is but its not but it really is#i have to rearrange my entire schedule to figure out all the new responsibilities im about to have and thats awful and is going to hurt me#but also none of this should be fucking hard#im on medication. do i need a better dose? did something change?#things to talk with my therapist about but my appointments not for a week and i dont have time to add one this week#i am not going to survive the adult world if i am acting like this man. what the fuck am i supposed to do tho#everything really does feel like it fell apart all at once and i should know how to fix it but its weird and wrong#......ive been sleeping more and being more tired lately too???#maybe my ass needs to stay up til 3-4 am. for my mental health#i dont know. i feel lost and i have a map but im still ?????
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oh. i didn’t mean to stay up to watch phil stream But if i’m already awake……
#jk my brain isn’t working well enough to have to listen to someone speak rn#i. really need to sleep god damn#i think i should try to go to sleep instead#bc.. i think the sleep deprivation is catching up despite my efforts to fix my sleep schedule#🐀
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