#i really need to write a fic for these two one of these days...
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I always look forward to seeing these types of posts on my feed, as it gets me thinking about what writing goals I'd like to achieve or set. As well as, see the goals/accomplishments of other fellow writes.
My answers are below, and keep reblogging with yours. :)
💖 Might be a tad small, but I'd like to achieve at least 50 fanfics by the end of this year. Weather they're requests/prompts or ideas of my own.
🛳 Maybe dive more into platonic ships. As I do favourite romance.
🤔 I would like to write one shots/series for under rated characters. Such as Crosshairs, Hound, Bulkhead (and more) from Transformers, Abe Sapien from Hellboy, etc.
🥸 My sister knows, and has read a couple of mine. As we often share ideas, inspiration, character/fandom ideas etc, since she also writes fanfics. My husband is aware that I write fanfics, but he doesn't quite know exactly what kind of things I write. But I don't plan on telling anyone else.
🥵 100% yes.
👻 Maybe more in depth the with action genre. And step out of my comfort zone by exploring horror or dark elements.
🦄 I do prefer 2nd person. But might write a fic in 1st or 3rd.
🐌 May not be writing goals exactly. But organizing my drafts better, as there has been a few fics that sat there for months collecting dust.
🦖 I'd like to get back into Hellboy, as I realize that I abandoned a series idea years ago. And my attempt at it really needs to be re-written, as I don't like how it sounds anymore. I might also do more anime fandoms, but the faze tends to come and go for me.
🍄 DC Comics/Universe. Although I'm mainly a Marvel fan, there has been a few ideas I've had, that would better suit DC characters.
🌈 It may not be research, but I do tend to read a few fanfics or orgianal fics of fandoms I'm new/returning to. As well as, binge watching TV/movies of that character/fandom.
But I also do research on writing. (Sub-genres/plots. Kinks/fetishes. Cliches. Building motivation, organization, writing goals. etc.)
✨ I'd say my use of deceptive language and onomatopoeias. And how I try to use other writing techniques to immerse readers that little more.
🥕 Certainly my grammar, as I've noticed a few spelling mistakes over the time. And my sense of scale and anatomy, I appreciate people telling me how way off I've been in my past fics and how it affected their reading experience.
🫘 I'm actually planning on writing a young adult, fantasy novel with OCs. And I've recently started up on Fiverr for writing commissions.
🥳 I'd probably just give myself a cheat day from my diet and exercise. Or buy that thing I've been eyeing up for ages.
🎃 I've actually been meaning to write seasonal fics. But the time I have a moment to write, or the idea comes to me, the season's over. But certainly gonna try and give those ago this year.
🐾 Another thing that's been on my 'To Do List' for a while, and would like to try to participate at least one or two this year.
✍️ Honestly it would have to be comments. Not the amount of comments, but just comments in general- even if it's just one or two. As that's the main way people have given me valuable feedback, and it helps me grow to be better writer.
👾 I'm honestly not sure what 'bad' writing habits, that I may have. There's bound to be a good few that I don't notice, and would try and break them if they're pointed out to me.
🤖 I mainly use my laptop or phone for writing for convenience. As I do tend to do a bit of writing on my breaks at work, but I suppose having an area dedicated to me writing at home wouldn't be too bad.
🦷 I'm currently working on two different series for the Transformers fandom. One is for the character Knockout in TFP, I love this character and have many ideas for the series, but he's mainly seen as asexual in the fandom. I agree and respect the views of this character, but since I don't really have anyone in my friends/family that identifies as asexual, I'm honestly worried I may accidentally misrepresent the character and/or those who identifies as such.
💥 I have an idea for a one shot for The Joker from DC- Suicide Squad. As the one-shot I've got planned is an semi original idea, and many dark elements that would challenge me, and get me out of my comfort zone.
🍕 Due to my part time job, and personal commitments. I do only write/post things whenever I have a free moment to dedicate an hour or two to this hobby. But I'd would like to try and post more per month, but also not to flood anyone's feed.
🛏 I'm sure there's a few tropes/cliches that I've already written for. But I'd like to write 'bed one' or 'cuddle for warmth' cliche, as they're surprisingly the ones I don't write about. Yet they're my favourite.
🪩 Might be a little controversial, but don't be afraid to give your reader a nickname or codename in your fics. For example, in my Transformer fics, Reader is an military officer so they have an nickname such as 'Lieutenant Echo' or 'Private Valkyrie.' As to me, these give the Reader a little more depth and personality to their character, and doesn't take them out of the reading experience by reading 'Y/N' over and over.
🎉 In all honesty? Probably not, as just like anyone. I'm my own worst critic.
💌 Yep! Those sort of things keeps my motivation going, and gets me out of writer's block sometimes.
Writer Goal Ask List for a New Year 🎉
These writer asks are always so fun to both ask and answer. Fanfic or original fiction writers, reblog away! These are asks based in new goals for a new year.
💖 What is your primary writing goal for this year?
🛳 Are there any new ships you want to write for? (Platonic, romantic, or anything in between.)
🤔 Are there any new characters you want to write about?
🥸 Does anyone in IRL know you write fanfic or original fiction? If not, do you plan on telling anyone this year?
🥵 Any plans to write steamy or spicy content this year?
👻 Is there a new genre you'd like to write?
🦄 Is there a new POV you'd like to try writing?
🐌 What is one of your smallest writing goals?
🦖 Are there any fandoms you wrote for in the past that you'd like to return to?
🍄 Are there any fandoms you've never written for but want to try?
🌈 What research do you plan on doing for your writing?
✨What's one area of your writing that you think needs the least amount of improvement?
🥕 What's one area of your writing that you think needs the most amount of improvement?
🫘 Spill the beans. What's a new project you're doing this year?
🥳 How are you going to celebrate when you achieve one of your writing goals?
🎃 Do you plan on writing any seasonal fics?
🐾 Do you plan on writing for any fests or competitions?
✍️ Which stat matters most to you (if at all!): subscriptions, kudos/favorites, comments, bookmarks, word count, or hits?
👾 Do you have any "bad" writing habits you want to break?
🤖 Are you looking to change your current writing setup? (Or establish one, if you don't have one?)
🦷 Is there a chapter, scene, or WIP you're dreading to write (but is necessary to your plot)? Share a snippet or tell us about it!
💥Is there a chapter, scene, or WIP you're most excited to write? Share a snippet or tell us about it!
🍕Will you be making any changes to your posting schedule (if you have one)? (Or do you want to establish a posting schedule?)
🛏 Is there a new trope you'd like to write this year?
🪩 Do you have any "good" writing habits you want to cultivate?
🎉 How are you going to be kind to yourself if you don't meet your goals?
💌 Are you willing to take requests or prompts for writing?
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ILLICIT AFFAIRS (3/3) | CS55
summary : You shouldn’t have said anything. You really shouldn’t have. But it’s too late now. “He sent me a dildo shaped like his cock,” you mutter under your breath, so fast you almost hope she didn’t hear you.
wc : 14k
an : This might be the end of the Illicit Affairs series! Honestly I might write another part (as I intended) but I realized it could also end here. I might work it alongside a few other fics on the back burner.
The thing about Carlos is that he doesn’t tiptoe. He doesn’t hesitate.
He’s the kind of guy who walks into your life, plops down, and acts like he’s always been there.
At first, you think he’s just passing through, like one of those tumbleweeds in old Westerns. Here for a moment, gone in another, leaving only a faint memory and maybe a little dust.
But Carlos is no tumbleweed.
He’s ivy. Creeping into the corners of your life, attaching himself with relentless charm and absolutely zero warning.
At first, it had just been sex.
Carlos calls, you pick up, and the two of you dive headfirst into whatever filthy scenario he’s cooked up for the evening.
It’s hot, it’s fun, and afterwards, you both lie there catching your breath while exchanging a few words like some half-hearted attempt at aftercare.
“Good for you?” he’ll ask, panting, his voice somehow managing to sound both teasing and sincere.
“Sure,” you say, rolling your eyes at the ceiling. “Top ten, at least.”
He laughs. Deep, warm, addictive. “I’ll aim for top five next time.”
It’s simple. Casual. Exactly what you signed up for.
Until it’s not.
Until the minutes start to stretch.
At first, it’s just an extra five. Then ten. Then before you know it, the two of you are sitting there, chatting about absolutely nothing long after the heat of the moment has faded.
Next thing you know Carlos is reaching out for the sake of company.
It’s easy to brush it off at first.
To pretend it’s harmless.
Carlos is just a guy who’s annoyingly good at making you laugh and has a voice so smooth it could probably negotiate world peace or at least a really good discount at a used car dealership.
But then, one afternoon, as you’re scrolling through your texts, you realize something horrifying:
You talk to Carlos more than you talk to your friends.
No, scratch that. You talk to Carlos more than you talk to anyone.
And it’s not just the sheer volume. It’s the content.
It’s the way his words sneak into your day, set up camp, and throw a block party. He texts you good morning before you’ve even had coffee, which is frankly criminal.
Carlos Rise and shine, baby. Did you dream about me again?
You I dreamed I hit you with my car
Carlos Hot. Was I shirtless?
You No, but you were crying. Freaked me out
Carlos Probably because I looked so good
You should block him.
You should delete his number.
You do neither, because somewhere deep down, you’re a masochist.
He doesn’t stop at morning texts either.
He sends unsolicited opinions all day, every day.
Carlos Do you think cows ever get tired of standing?
You They sit, Carlos. They sit all the time.
Carlos Yeah, but like, emotionally? What if they’re just pretending to like grass because they’re scared of change
You What would they change to, exactly? Chicken nuggets?
Carlos Maybe. Cows could be wild carnivores waiting for their moment. We don’t know what they’re capable of.
One day, while you're halfway through a bag of chips, your phone buzzes again.
Carlos Do you think birds ever judge us for not flying?
You You need therapy
Carlos So do you, but I don’t judge
You You judge me constantly 🤨
The banter becomes relentless.
Carlos If you had to pick one food to eat for the rest of your life, what would it be?
You Pasta
Carlos Predictable. You’re so basic it physically hurts
You Pretentious words from a man whose favorite snack is probably caviar
Carlos First of all, how dare you
You You’re trash
Carlos Trash that you text back btw
Then comes the random photos.
He sends you a blurry picture of his sneakers one afternoon.
Carlos Do these make me look fast? Be honest, but also lie
You Fast to embarrass yourself
Carlos Wow. Jealousy is a disease. Get well soon
Carlos Does it change anything if I say they’re limited edition
You Limited edition ugly
He sends you a picture of his dog another day, sprawled on the couch like he pays rent.
Carlos We’ve decided to boycott walkies today.
Solidarity with my guy.
You Tell him he’s lazy
Carlos He says those are bold words from someone who hasn’t hit the gym this week
You glare at the screen. It’s 7 a.m. How does he even know that?
You Your dog is illiterate. Don’t drag him into this
Carlos Rude. He’s very smart
You He licks his own butt
He becomes a fixture in your life without you even noticing.
Carlos Did you miss me while I was asleep?
One morning, you’re sipping your coffee when your phone buzzes.
You I slept better knowing you weren’t conscious
Carlos So, you’re saying you dreamt about me
You I dreamt I moved to a remote island where Wi-Fi doesn’t exist
Carlos Romantic getaway for two. Love that for us
You groan, but your fingers are already typing a response.
And somehow, without you realizing it, Carlos isn’t just a voice on the phone or a name on your screen.
He’s everywhere, weaving himself into your days with his relentless humor and absolute refusal to leave you alone.
That’s why when a day passes by without any contact, you’re tilted off balance.
The silence is unnerving.
You tell yourself it’s just one night.
One single night where Carlos doesn’t text or call, and you should be relieved.
Grateful, even, for the reprieve from his relentless antics.
But you’re not.
You spend the evening trying not to think about it.
You scroll through Instagram, open a book, binge half a season of some random series. But every few minutes, you find yourself glancing at your phone, waiting for it to light up.
It doesn’t.
The hours crawl by, and by the time you’re lying in bed, glaring at the ceiling, you’re starting to feel… itchy. Annoyed. Frustrated. And maybe just a little bit unreasonably hurt.
Then, finally, your phone buzzes.
You grab it so fast you nearly knock it off the nightstand.
Carlos Miss me?
Your stomach does a ridiculous little flip, but you type back quickly.
You Not even a little
Carlos Liar
Another message follows: a selfie of him holding the meerkat plushie you’d sent him as a joke a week ago.
Carlos He misses you too
You groan, but your cheeks ache from smiling.
Carlos By the way
Carlos I sent you a gift
You I didn’t get a package?
Carlos Wait
Carlos Call me when you get it
You shake your head, setting your phone down.
It’s probably something stupid. Knowing Carlos, it could be anything from a ridiculous gag gift to an actual penguin.
Two days later, a package arrives.
It’s sitting on your kitchen counter, deceptively normal-looking for something that Carlos sent.
You eye it warily, debating whether you should even bother opening it.
You stare at it for a good ten minutes, arms crossed, trying to decide whether you should call him first or just dump it straight into the trash.
Eventually, curiosity (and mild fear) wins out. You grab your phone and click the topmost contact.
It rings once before he picks up.
“I was wondering how long it’d take you,” Carlos says, his voice smooth and entirely too smug.
“What the hell did you send me?” you demand without preamble.
“Why don’t you open it and find out?”
“Carlos.”
“Yes?”
You groan, already regretting this decision. “I swear to God, if it’s alive-”
“It’s not alive,” he interrupts.
“Then what is it?”
“Open it.”
“No,” you snap. “Because if it’s something awful, I can’t unsee it. I’m preemptively traumatized. Just tell me what it is so I can mentally prepare.”
“That’s not how surprises work,” he replies, completely unbothered.
“It’s not a surprise if I hate it,” you point out.
“You won’t hate it.”
“I highly doubt that.”
“You might be pleasantly surprised,” he insists, and there’s a tone in his voice, something too smug, too amused, that makes your stomach churn with suspicion.
“Carlos,” you warn.
“Yes?”
“If this is some kind of prank-”
“It’s not a prank,” he says, cutting you off again. “It’s a gift. A thoughtful, meaningful, deeply personal gift.”
“Deeply personal?” you echo, narrowing your eyes at the box like it’s about to explode. “That doesn’t sound reassuring.”
“It’s just a little something to remind you of me,” he adds, which is possibly the least reassuring thing he could have said.
You exhale sharply through your nose, setting your phone down on the counter so he can see.
His face lights up on the screen, all lazy smirks and overconfidence, and you hate the way your stomach flips at the sight of him.
Grabbing a pair of scissors, you slice through the tape with the caution of someone defusing a bomb.
Carlos watches you with rapt attention, his chin resting on his hand. “Excited?”
“I’m terrified,” you deadpan, peeling back the flaps of the box.
For a moment, you just stare.
Then, you shriek. Loudly.
“Carlos, what the fuck?!”
He leans closer to the camera, his grin widening. “You like it?”
“You sent me a dildo?!” you yell, your voice an octave higher than usual.
“Not just any dildo,” he says smugly, sitting back like he’s the king of the universe.
You stare at him, then at the object in the box, and back at him again.
It looks… normal, at first glance.
But then you notice the size. The veins. The shade.
The very specific details.
“Oh my God,” you whisper, horror dawning. “It’s your… your…”
“My cock,” he supplies helpfully. “Yep.”
“Carlos!” you screech, clutching the box like it’s cursed. “You’re a lunatic!”
“True,” he says, completely unfazed. “But admit it- you’re impressed.”
“Impressed?!” you repeat, your voice pitching even higher. “What is WRONG with you?!”
“A lot,” he admits, far too cheerfully. “But you already knew that.”
“How did you even- who does this?!”
“Visionaries,” he says smoothly. “Trendsetters. People who care deeply about customer satisfaction.”
“Customer?!”
“Well, you.”
“I am not your customer!” you yell, holding the replica aloft like it’s a cursed artifact.
Carlos is unbothered. “Technically, you are. You’ve been enjoying the original product for a while now. Or, well, the sight of it.”
You choke on air. “You’re insane.”
“Insanely thoughtful,” he corrects.
“You’re disgusting.”
“And you’re flustered. It's very cute.”
Your jaw drops. “I am not-”
He cuts you off, grinning wider. “So, when’s the test drive?”
“Oh my God,” you mutter, setting the… thing down and burying your face in your hands. “This isn’t happening.”
“Take your time,” he says, magnanimous. “I know it’s a lot to take in.”
“You’re welcome, by the way,” he adds, like this is a completely normal conversation.
“I didn’t ask for this!”
“I know. That’s what makes it such a great surprise,” he says, his grin practically splitting his face.
“Surprise?!” you echo. “I almost had a heart attack!”
“You’ll appreciate it later,” he says confidently.
“I will not!”
“Bet you will.”
“You need therapy,” you hiss, shoving the box away like it might explode.
“And you need lube,” he counters smoothly.
“You’re deranged!”
“Efficient,” he corrects, smirking. “In case you miss me.”
“I don’t!” you lie, your face burning.
Carlos watches you, entirely too pleased with himself. “You’re keeping it, though.”
“I am absolutely not-”
“Yes, you are,” he interrupts, his tone maddeningly smug.
“I am throwing it in the trash right now!” you declare, grabbing the box and stomping toward the trash can.
He leans closer to the camera, completely unbothered. “Go ahead. I’ll wait.”
You freeze, hand hovering over the trash.
“There it is,” he says smugly. “Knew you wouldn’t.”
“You’re insufferable,” you mutter, stomping back to the counter and slamming the box down.
“And yet, here you are, calling me,” he points out.
“Because I needed to yell at you!”
“And now you’re smiling.”
“I am not smiling!” you yell, even as you turn away from the camera to hide the traitorous curl of your lips.
Carlos laughs, leaning back in his chair. “Admit it- you think it’s funny.”
“I think it’s horrifying!”
“You’re laughing on the inside.”
“I’m plotting your murder on the inside,” you snap.
“Sure, sure,” he says, waving a hand dismissively. “So. Again. When are you trying it out?”
“Oh my God,” you mutter, pressing the heels of your hands to your eyes. “I hate you.”
“No, you don’t.”
“I do.”
“Liar,” he says again, his grin positively devilish.
Before you can come up with a response, he adds, “Just make sure to let me know how it compares to the real thing. For science.”
“You’re insane,” you mutter, grabbing your phone and ending the call with a vicious jab.
Seconds later, your phone buzzes with a text.
Carlos Don’t forget lube, babe. You’re gonna need it. ;)
You stare at the screen, your cheeks burning.
Carlos And batteries. Unless you want to do it the old-fashioned way. Your call.
You want to throw the phone, the box, and maybe yourself out the nearest window.
You Blocked
Carlos Bad girl.
—
Carlos has this way of getting under your skin. Not in an infuriating, "I can’t believe I’m dealing with this" kind of way, but more in the likes of "Why do I secretly enjoy this ridiculousness?"
It starts with a string of increasingly pathetic messages.
Carlos Please?
Carlos Just once?
Carlos I take that back.
Carlos Twice? Maybe even thrice
Carlos C’mon, I’ll be good
Carlos I’m literally begging here
Carlos On my knees
Carlos Pathetically btw
Carlos Do you need a photo for proof?
You roll your eyes so hard it’s a miracle they don’t fall out of your head.
You Carlos, we are not doing this again
Carlos You say that
Carlos But I feel like deep down you want to. You’re just being stubborn
He replies instantly, because of course he’s sitting there, waiting for your response like his life depends on it.
“Stubborn,” you deadpan, fingers hovering over your phone. “Sure. That’s definitely it.”
And then he hits you with a voice note, because apparently texts alone can’t convey his desperation.
You don’t even mean to open it, but your thumb slips, and suddenly there he is, using that tone that he knows gets to you.
"Just once," he begs, words spilling out of your speakers like some lovesick fool. "I swear I’ll make it worth your time. Please. I just wanna watch you take me again."
You know you shouldn’t.
It’s ridiculous, bordering on embarrassing.
But then you picture his face, probably flushed, probably biting his lip in that way that always gets to you, and against your better judgment, you cave.
You Fine. But just this once
Carlos I love you
Carlos You’re the best
Carlos I’m naming my firstborn after you
You Just call me
Carlos Yes ma'am 🥰
When the call connects, you're met with the sight of Carlos lounging on his couch looking very much the part of a man who's won an impossible bet.
One arm is draped lazily over the backrest, laptop balanced on his thighs.
The soft glow from the screen highlights the sharp angles of his jawline and the shadow of stubble that you know feels just as delicious as it looks.
The smirk that he wears is devastating. An expression of smug satisfaction that makes your pulse race even as you curse him for it.
His shirt clings to his broad chest, the undone buttons teasing you with a glimpse of hard lines across tanned skin.
His eyes are locked onto you.
There’s heat in them, hunger.
He’s relaxed, but you can feel the tension rolling off him, the way he’s barely holding himself back.
And you?
You’re perched on your bed, knees tucked beneath you, completely bare.
The dildo lies heavy in your hand, the silicone cool against your flushed skin.
The sheer indecency of it sends a rush of heat through you, making your thighs clench.
Carlos smirks, his hand disappearing offscreen for a moment, only to return with a slow stroke along his already hard cock.
He leans forward slightly, the movement drawing your eyes to the way his length twitches in his hand.
For someone who was shamelessly begging just minutes ago, Carlos is playing it way too cool now.
“Naked on your bed, holding a mold of my dick,” he says, his voice smooth like it’s a damn sales pitch. “I mean, come on. That’s the kind of devotion poets write sonnets about.”
You snort, rolling your eyes even as your cheeks heat up. “Oh, yeah. Shakespeare totally had this in mind when he wrote, ‘Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day.’”
“Exactly. I’m a classic, baby. Timeless.”
“Delusional,” you counter, grabbing the bottle of lube with way more force than necessary.
His laugh is low and warm, the kind that annoyingly makes your stomach flip. “Call it what you want, but you didn’t say no to my ‘gift.’”
Your glare falters, just for a second, and he catches it immediately. Carlos thrives on cracks in your armor, and his smirk sharpens like a predator who just spotted its prey.
You glare at the bottle in your hand like it personally wronged you. "I hate you," you mutter, squeezing out a glob of lube.
Carlos's face lights up on the screen, all smug satisfaction and unearned charm. "Funny, because you're doing exactly what I asked. Almost like you want to."
"Don’t push your luck,”
He leans closer to his camera, his grin widening. "Oh, pushing my luck is my favorite hobby. You know this."
You level him with a deadpan stare. "And yet, here you are. Still single."
"Wow. Low blow. But fine, I'll allow it, because you're about to make my night."
"Make your night?" You scoff, dragging this out purely to annoy him. "I’m just trying to remember what this was called. A gag gift, right? Or was it just a waste of money?"
His jaw drops. "A gag gift? I can’t believe you’d say that. This is art."
"This is silicone," you reply flatly, holding up the toy with a disapproving shake of your head.
"Silicone art," he corrects, pointing at the screen like that changes anything. His grin sharpens. "And don’t pretend you weren’t curious the moment I sent it to you."
"You sent this to annoy me," you retort, spreading the lube over your fingers with dramatic flair. "And congratulations, it worked."
Carlos leans forward, his chin propped on his hand as he watches you, his dark eyes glittering with mischief.
"Oh, but look at you now. All lubed up and ready to go. Who's the real winner here, hmm?"
"Still me," you shoot back, though your fingers falter as you glance down at the toy.
Your grip tightens as if it’s a stress ball, and the obscene squelch it makes has you biting back a groan.
Carlos’s smirk grows. "Careful, sweetheart. You keep squeezing it like that, and I’ll think you’re practicing for something."
You let out a sharp breath through your nose, refusing to look at him. "You’re insufferable, you know that?"
He leans in even closer. "And you’re still here. Lube in hand. Ready to-"
"Don’t finish that sentence," you interrupt, finally looking up to glare at him. "I’ll block you."
Carlos snickers, leaning back like he’s won. "You’d never block me. I’m your favorite pain in the ass."
"No," you say, grabbing the toy with more force than necessary. "You're just a pain in the ass in general. Huge difference."
His brow arches as he watches you spread the lube along the length of the toy, the slick sound louder than your ego can handle. You freeze mid-motion, hyper-aware of his gaze tracking every movement.
Carlos’s grin falters for a moment, replaced by something darker, hungrier. His voice drops an octave. "Good girl."
The unexpected praise punches the air out of your lungs, and your hands falter, nearly dropping the toy.
"Keep going," he murmurs, his tone rich with satisfaction. His eyes don’t leave yours, the heat in them curling low in your stomach. "Let me see you do it."
Your pride flares, and you straighten your spine, lifting your chin as you resume your movements with exaggerated precision.
"You’re lucky I don’t throw this thing across the room," you grumble.
Carlos hums, his gaze shamelessly lingering. "You wouldn’t dare. That thing cost more than your dignity."
"Bold words for someone whose dignity died in 2016," you snap, but the banter feels more like a lifeline now, a way to distract yourself from the intensity of his gaze.
The corner of his mouth lifts, cocky and infuriating. "Touché."
You inhale sharply, your hands trembling slightly as you grip the toy.
You hate how your body reacts to him, how his voice, his laugh, his everything gets under your skin like this.
Carlos leans forward again, his smirk all-knowing. "Having fun yet?"
Your pride makes you glare at him. “Fuck you.”
His laugh is low, indulgent, the sound curling around you like smoke. "Soon, sweetheart. Very soon."
“Shut up.”
“Make me,” he fires back smoothly, his eyes gleaming with wicked intent.
His voice drops to a growl. "But you won’t, will you? You’ll do exactly what I say because you love being told what to do. Makes you wet just thinking about it, doesn’t it?"
Your lips part, but the sharp retort you’re trying to form dies as his gaze drops to your hands.
His smirk fades, replaced by a hunger so fierce it leaves you breathless.
“Good girl,” he murmurs, his voice rich with satisfaction.
The unexpected praise sends a rush of heat straight to your core. "Keep going. Let me see you do it."
Your fingers tremble as you continue spreading lube on the length of the toy, the silicone cool against your skin.
“Fuck,” Carlos breathes, his hand tightening around his cock. “Look at you, already so obedient. Knew you’d listen.”
He shifts slightly, his voice softening. “Now, spread those legs for me. Show me how wet you are. I want to see that pretty pussy you’ve been thinking about me filling.”
Your thighs part, the cool air brushing against your slick heat as you settle back against the pillows.
His sharp inhale through the speakers sends a jolt straight to your core.
“Fuck,” he groans, his voice strained.
His hand pauses on his cock as he drinks in the sight of you, dark eyes dragging over every inch of exposed skin. "You’re so fucking perfect. Do you even realize how bad I want to bury myself in you right now?"
Your skin feels like it’s on fire, the heat spreading from your cheeks to your chest as the ache between your thighs sharpens with every passing second of his unrelenting stare.
Slowly, you drag the toy through your folds, the soft, slick sound of your arousal breaking the tense silence.
It’s obscene, the way the wetness clings, glistening on the head of the silicone.
Your arousal drips along your thighs, the skin glistening under the low light and you can feel how messy you’ve become, how utterly soaked you are.
"Oh, sweetheart," he rasps, his eyes fixed on the toy and the way it slides against your swollen folds. "That's it. Get it nice and wet for me. I want to see just how desperate you are to take it."
Your fingers tremble as you position the toy at your entrance, the blunt tip pressing against your slick heat. You hesitate, glancing up at him through the screen.
“Carlos…”
“Go on, baby,” he urges, his tone soft but insistent. “Don’t make me wait. I want to see you take it.”
You bite your lip, a soft whine escaping as you slide the tip between your folds again. His gaze darkens, his strokes faltering as he watches you hover above it.
The moment the dildo breaches the first ring of muscles, your head falls back with a moan that’s nothing short of sinful.
Carlos’s eyes burn through the screen, dark and wild, his fist sliding steadily up and down his cock as he watches you begin to move.
“Fuck, baby, look at you,” he groans, his voice rough and needy. “You’re so fucking tight. That little pussy is made for me, isn’t it?”
You whimper, your hips starting to bounce, your slick heat making it easier to slide up and down. The toy stretches you so perfectly, but it’s his words that send fire shooting through your veins.
“Yes,” you gasp, gripping the bed to keep your balance. “It’s yours, Carlos. Always yours.”
“Damn right it is,” he growls, stroking himself faster. “You'd rather have me inside you, stretching you out, making you scream my name, hm? Doesn't matter if it's a mold from my cock. Still can't compare, yeah?”
Your hips jerk at his filthy words, and you pick up the pace, grinding down harder until the toy presses right against that spot that makes you see stars.
“Say it,” he demands, his voice dripping with dominance. “Say how much you want my cock, baby. Tell me what you miss.”
“I miss you,” you cry out, each bounce making your voice tremble. “Miss the way you fill me up, how fucking deep you get- oh god, Carlos-”
“That’s my girl,” he groans, his jaw tightening as he watches the way your body moves, the slick sounds of the dildo sliding in and out of you driving him insane.
“You’d take me so good, wouldn’t you? Let me fuck you until you can’t even think, until you’re dripping all over my cock.”
“Please,” you whine, your fingers digging into the sheets as the pleasure builds, your body tightening around the toy with every bounce. “I need it. Need you to fuck me, Carlos. Need to feel you come inside me-”
“Shit,” he growls, his hips jerking up into his hand. “You’d love that, wouldn’t you? Feeling me stretch you open, filling you so full you’d still be dripping with me the next day.”
Your head is spinning, the combination of his words and the relentless drag of the dildo inside you sending you spiraling closer to the edge.
“You’d let me do whatever I want, wouldn’t you?” His voice is a low, dirty rasp now, his strokes frantic as he chases his release. “You’d let me bend you over, fuck you on every surface in the house, make you come over and over until you’re begging me to stop.”
You nod desperately.
“Go faster, baby” Carlos murmurs, his voice low and rough.
You whimper, obeying.
Each downward motion stretches you all over again, and the fullness makes your eyes flutter shut as a moan spills from your lips.
Carlos’s growl cuts through the speakers, low and rough. “You look so pretty fucking yourself on it like that.”
You lift yourself just enough for the toy to drag along your walls, the friction igniting sparks of pleasure that ripple through you.
When you sink back down, the stretch feels even deeper. Your thighs tremble, your pace picking up as the need builds inside you.
“Fuck,” Carlos groans. “Your tits are bouncing so perfectly. Keep going, baby, let me see them move while you ride it.”
Your breasts sway with each bounce, the motion only adding to the heat pooling low in your belly.
The way his eyes lock onto you, dark, hungry, devouring, makes your nipples pebble, the cool air only amplifying the sensation.
“You look so fucking good,” Carlos murmurs, half mindless, his strokes on his cock quickening as he watches you. “Look at how deep it’s stretching you. Look at the way your tits bounce every time you take it. Fuck, you’re so perfect.”
You can’t stop now, the pleasure too much to ignore.
Your hips grind down harder, rolling in small circles as you press yourself against the base of the toy.
Each motion sends shocks of ecstasy through you, your slick heat gripping the silicone like you never want it to leave.
“Bounce on it harder,” he says.
Your hands grip the sheets tightly as you obey, your hips lifting and dropping with more urgency.
The wet, obscene sound of the toy sliding in and out of you fills the room, mixing with your soft gasps and moans. Your breasts bounce with every movement, and you feel the weight of his gaze like a physical touch.
“Baby,” Carlos groans, his fist tightening around his cock as he watches you ride the toy. “You’re so fucking perfect. You’d ride me just like that, wouldn’t you? Taking every inch, letting me stretch you open until you can’t handle it.”
Your breath catches, your body arching as you grind down harder, the toy hitting that perfect spot deep inside you. “Carlos,” you gasp, your voice trembling. “It feels so good- so fucking full-”
“That’s it,” he growls, his strokes turning frantic as he watches you lose yourself. “Take it all, baby. Keep bouncing. I want to see you come while you’re stretched out like that.”
“Yes,” you gasp, your body trembling as you grind harder, your cries turning into broken moans. “Carlos, I’m- fuck, I’m gonna come-”
“Do it,” he growls, his eyes locked on you, his voice pure command. “Come for me, baby. I want to see it. Show me how fucking good I make you feel.”
Your body shatters at his words, your orgasm crashing over you like a tidal wave. Your walls clench around the toy, your cries spilling out uncontrollably as pleasure courses through you.
“Fucking hell,” Carlos groans, his own release hitting him hard as he watches you fall apart. His hand jerks wildly as he spills over himself, his groans mixing with your whimpers through the screen.
As you both come down, the air is thick and charged, your bodies still trembling from the intensity of it all. Carlos grins at you, looking like the devil himself, his chest still heaving.
“Pretty girl.”
—-
Carlos’s phone is propped up against his water bottle, the screen showing you on the other end of the line as the two of you talk over lunch.
He’s at a small café near the gym, picking at a plate of grilled chicken and rice while you sit on the terrace of a restaurant somewhere near the Monaco Marina.
He can’t tell which restaurant exactly, but it doesn’t matter. He’s too focused on the way the sunlight catches in your hair, how you’re picking at a croissant with absentminded precision.
“So, wait,” you say, mid-bite. “You’re telling me you thought you could just wing the French?”
Carlos grins, popping a spoonful into his mouth. “I did wing it. The waiter understood me perfectly.”
“Sure,” you deadpan. “Because pointing at the menu is such a skill.”
He chuckles, wiping his fingers on a napkin. “Why complicate things? A man’s gotta eat.”
You shake your head, your exasperation half-hearted at best. “You’re hopeless.”
“Worked, didn't it?” he counters smoothly, a spark of mischief in his eyes.
You roll your eyes but don’t argue, which feels like a victory.
For a moment, the conversation drifts to lighter topics.
Where you’d want to travel next, the chaos of his morning workout, and whether or not croissants count as dessert.
It’s easy, effortless, the kind of back-and-forth that feels like second nature.
But then you glance down, suddenly fidgeting with your sleeve, and Carlos picks up on the shift immediately.
“What’s that face?” he asks, leaning forward, curiosity laced in his tone.
You pause, debating, then sigh. “Can I tell my friends about this?”
Carlos blinks. “This?”
“Us,” you say, casually, but the word lands heavier than you probably realize.
He freezes for a split second, his mind stalling like a rookie stalling a car on the grid.
Us.
You don't mean it in the way that’s currently making his chest feel too tight, but it doesn’t stop the word from echoing in his head.
You take another bite of your croissant like you haven’t just derailed his entire thought process.
“Legally? No.” he says, recovering with a smirk. “You’re under NDA. You can’t even mention I exist.”
Your eyes narrow. “Carlos, no one cares that much about you.”
“Ouch,” he says, clutching his chest dramatically.
You shake your head, your expression flat. “Be serious. Is it okay or not?”
He leans back, draping an arm over his chair and studying you with an unreadable expression.
The truth is, he should say no. He should remind you how much he values his privacy, how careful he has to be.
But the thought of you talking about him, to your friends, no less, makes him feel... proud. Like he’s somehow made it onto a list of people who matter to you.
“Yeah,” he says finally, his voice casual. “Go ahead.”
“Really?”
“Why not?”
You narrow your eyes, clearly suspicious. “You’re not going to show up at my door with legal threats if I say something stupid?”
“Not unless it’s really stupid,” he teases.
Your unimpressed stare makes him grin wider. “You’re annoying,” you mutter, but your tone lacks any real bite.
“You love me though,” he counters easily.
He watches as your face softens, just for a moment, and something about it makes his heart stutter in a way he’d never admit.
“You’re impossible,” you say, shaking your head.
“And you like it,” he fires back, his voice light, though there’s a trace of sincerity underneath it.
The conversation shifts again, and by the time you glance at your watch, he’s already dreading the inevitable.
“I should go,” you say, reaching for your coffee cup.
“Busy?”
“Not really,” you admit, but you’re already sitting straighter, ready to leave.
Carlos hesitates, leaning forward slightly. “Hey.”
You pause, looking up at him expectantly.
“Call me again tomorrow,” he says, softer this time.
Your brow lifts, a flicker of curiosity crossing your face. “Why?”
He shrugs, fighting the grin threatening to take over. “I like hearing your voice.”
For a moment, you just stare at him, and he thinks maybe, just maybe, you’re about to call him out on it.
But then you roll your eyes, hiding a smile that he doesn’t miss.
“Goodbye, Carlos,” you say, shaking your head as you reach for the screen.
The call ends, and Carlos sits back in his chair, a soft smile tugging at his lips as he stares at the now-empty screen.
Us.
—-
It’s the bimonthly girlfriend meet-up, and Kika’s already locked onto you like a heat-seeking missile.
“So, there’s this guy,” you say casually, swirling your wine like this isn’t about to become the most chaotic conversation of your week.
Her brow arches, her smirk appearing like she’s just been handed premium-grade gossip.
“Oh?” she says, leaning in.
“Yes,” you reply, taking a slow sip from your glass, because wine is courage, and you need a lot of it right now.
“Tell me more,” she says, her tone deceptively sweet, like a predator coaxing its prey closer.
You hesitate. There’s no way you’re telling her the guy in question is Carlos Sainz.
That would be insane. Absolutely unhinged.
One, because it’s Carlos Sainz.
Two, because it’s Carlos fucking Sainz.
“We’ve been… hooking up,” you say vaguely, hoping to skate by with minimal detail.
Kika narrows her eyes. “Hooking up? Where? I haven’t seen you at the club scene lately, and I definitely haven’t heard from Charles about you sneaking out.”
You blink at her. “Why would Charles know- wait. Are you spying on me?”
“No,” she says breezily, waving a hand. “But Charles knows everything about you. If you were sneaking around Monaco with a guy, I’d know by now.”
Kika tilts her head, studying you. “So if it’s not a local guy…”
She pauses. Then her eyes widen. “Oh my God. Is it a long-distance thing? Is this why you’ve been all ‘mysterious vibes’ lately?”
You sigh, realizing you’re caught. “It’s phone sex, okay?”
Kika blinks. “Phone sex?”
“Yes,” you say, downing the rest of your wine in one gulp. “We’re doing… phone stuff.”
She hums, sitting back, her gaze calculating. “It’s a famous guy, isn’t it?”
“What?!” you sputter. “How did you- why would you even-”
“Ma’am, look at you.” She gestures at you like you’re an exhibit at the Louvre. “You’re gorgeous. You’re you. Why would you ever settle for phone sex unless it’s, like, some Vogue model or an A-lister who’s too busy jet-setting to see you in person?”
“That’s ridiculous,” you say, trying to laugh her off, but it sounds more like a dying animal.
Her grin turns absolutely wicked, the kind of wicked that makes you instantly regret ever letting her into your life. “Oh, so it is a famous guy. You just gave yourself away. Who is it? Spill.”
“I did not!” you protest, but it’s weak. Too weak.
Kika hums, tapping a finger on her chin as she tilts her head. “Hmm. Let me think. Is it an actor? A musician? Oh my God, is it Harry Styles? Blink once for yes.”
“Kika-”
“Wait!” She gasps, cutting you off and slapping the table. “Is it a prince? Are you pulling a Meghan Markle? Are we about to be royalty by proxy?”
“Kika!” you hiss, glaring at her as a nearby table turns to look at the commotion.
“Okay, okay, fine. I'll behave.”
“But,” she adds, holding up a finger and wagging it at you, “you can’t just stop there. I want details. Stories. Anecdotes. What have you two done other than, like, phone sex? That can’t be it, right? Kick it up a notch. Spice things up.”
Your face burns, and you take a long, slow sip of your drink, desperately trying to buy time. “We… talk.”
Kika stares at you, unimpressed. “Talk? Oh, please. You’re telling me a man calls you up just to talk?”
You shrug, feigning innocence. “Sometimes.”
Her grin turns sharper. “And the other times?”
You look away, pretending to be fascinated by the texture of the tablecloth.
“Oh no,” she says, leaning in like a predator cornering its prey. “You’re not getting out of this. What does he say? What does he do? Don’t make me guess because I will make it a thousand times worse.”
You groan, your head falling into your hands. “Why are you like this?”
“Because I care about you,” she says sweetly, patting your hand before grinning again. “Now spill. What’s the wildest thing he’s done so far? Flown you out to a private island? Sent you a love letter written in champagne? What are we working with here?”
You hesitate. You know telling her anything will only fuel her chaos, but at this point, it feels like you don’t have a choice.
“Fine,” you mumble. “He, um… he sent me a… package.”
You take a long sip of your wine, trying to ignore Kika’s razor-sharp gaze burning into the side of your face.
You shouldn’t have said anything. You really shouldn’t have.
But it’s too late now.
“He sent me a dildo shaped like his cock,” you mutter under your breath, so fast you almost hope she didn’t hear you.
Kika chokes on her wine. Full-on chokes. She’s sputtering, clutching her chest as her eyes go wide.
Meanwhile, you calmly sip your drink, staring at some random painting on the wall like it’s the most fascinating thing you’ve ever seen.
“WHAT?!” she finally manages, her voice about three octaves higher than usual.
“I’m not saying it again,” you reply coolly, refusing to meet her gaze.
“He sent you a-” she starts, and then bursts into laughter so loud half the restaurant turns to look at your table.
You shoot her a glare, shushing her. “Could you not announce it to the entire world?”
“Oh my God,” she wheezes, clutching her stomach. “Mr. Mystery sent you a dildo shaped like his cock?!”
You take another sip of wine, your cheeks burning. “It was… thoughtful.”
“THOUGHTFUL?!” she howls. “He’s out here like, ‘What’s a practical gift? Ah, yes, my dick!’”
“It’s not a big deal,” you mumble into your hands, praying the floor will swallow you whole.
“Not a big- ARE YOU KIDDING ME?” She’s laughing so hard she can barely breathe.
“Kika,” you hiss, kicking her under the table.
“That’s so romantic,” she says, ignoring you entirely. “Forget flowers. Forget jewelry. Nothing says love like, ‘Here’s my dick. In case you miss me.’”
“This is why I didn’t want to tell you.”
“Are you kidding? This is the best thing you’ve ever told me,” she says, still grinning like a lunatic.
She leans forward, eyes sparkling with mischief. “Do you… do you keep it on your nightstand? Like, right next to your lamp? Is it displayed like a trophy? Maybe on one of those little velvet stands?”
“Kika!” you hiss, glancing around the café as if someone might overhear this absolute chaos.
Her laughter crescendos, attracting a few curious stares from nearby tables. She waves them off with a flick of her wrist, too far gone to care.
“No, seriously, I need to know. Oh God, imagine if you lose it. Like, it’s just missing one day and you’re crawling around under your couch yelling, ‘Mr. Mystery, where’s your dick?!’”
You groan, your head dropping into your hands. “Can you be serious for one second?”
She sucks in a breath, fanning herself like she’s about to faint. “Okay, okay. Serious. Totally serious. I’m done. Promise.”
You peek at her through your fingers, skeptical. “You sure?”
She nods, biting her lip to stifle another laugh. “Totally. Except… I have one more question.”
You lean back in your chair, staring at the ceiling like it might grant you patience. “What now?”
She leans in closer, lowering her voice to a conspiratorial whisper. “Is it… accurate?”
You freeze, horrified. “I’m leaving.”
“No, wait!” she cries, grabbing your arm before you can stand. She’s laughing again, her grip on your sleeve shaking with the force of it. “Come on, I’m kidding! Mostly. But seriously. Is it accurate? Like, should we call MythBusters?”
You gape at her, flabbergasted. “Why would I answer that?”
“Because I’m dying to know!” she says, eyes gleaming.
You shake her off and reach for your bag. “You’re insane.”
“And you’re avoiding the question,” she fires back, wagging a finger at you like a smug prosecutor. “Which makes me think it’s very accurate.”
You narrow your eyes. “You’re lucky I haven’t thrown this glass of wine at you.”
“Please,” she scoffs, twirling her straw. “You’d never waste good wine. Now, answer me. Did he measure it himself, or do you think there was a mold involved? Like, did he sit there in some science lab with a team of experts, being all, ‘Make sure you get the angle right!’?”
“Oh my God,” you groan, covering your face again.
The two of you quiet down as a waiter approaches your little corner.
It’s quiet for a moment—mercifully quiet.
Kika is vibrating with barely restrained laughter, and you’re praying she doesn’t lose it while he’s standing there.
The waiter sets down your plates, refills your glasses, and gives Kika a quick, confused glance because she’s shaking like a malfunctioning washing machine.
You smile at him—tight, polite, please don’t ask questions, I beg you—and he wisely scurries off.
The second he’s out of earshot, Kika slams her hands on the table, rattling the cutlery. “Let me see it.”
You nearly choke on your own saliva. “What?! No!”
“Why not?” she demands, like this is a perfectly reasonable request.
“Why not? Because we’re in a crowded restaurant, that’s why!” you hiss, clutching your purse like it’s a medieval chastity belt.
She leans forward, her eyes gleaming with mischief. “So you’re saying there’s a non-crowded situation where you’d show me?”
“That’s not what I said!”
She smirks. “Sure, but you didn’t not say it.”
“Kika, I swear to God-”
“Just one peek,” she pleads, like she’s asking for a bite of your dessert. “Under the table. No one will even notice!”
“Under the- what are you, a contraband dealer?” you whisper-yell. “This is not a shady back-alley dildo exchange!”
She grins, undeterred. “So, what does it look like? Is it… metallic?”
You freeze. “Why would it be metallic?!”
“I don’t know! Maybe it’s fancy. Maybe it’s, like, a collector’s item.”
“It’s not a lightsaber, Kika!”
She gasps, her hand flying to her chest. “Oh my God. Does it light up?!”
“No!”
“Are you sure?” she presses, narrowing her eyes. “Maybe it has LEDs. You know, for… ambiance.”
—
Kika’s obsession with the whole thing also refuses to let up. She knows, and worse, she loves knowing.
It starts small: innocent comments here and there, teasing questions she doesn’t expect you to answer.
But over time, her nosiness evolves into full-blown meddling. She’s not just curious. She’s invested.
And one day, it all comes to a head.
Kika cracks.
Or rather, her big mouth does.
“This is too good,” she hisses over the phone like she’s smuggling state secrets. “I can’t keep it to myself any longer.”
You drop your sandwich mid-bite, the mayo squelching onto the table. “What the hell do you mean you can’t keep it to yourself?”
“This secret,” she says, as if it’s physically weighing her down. “It’s eating me alive. I can’t keep it anymore.”
You groan. “Kika, we’ve talked about this. It’s not your secret to keep.”
“Which is exactly why I need to tell someone!” she snaps, like that’s a logical leap. “It’s not mine! It’s yours! I’m just... borrowing it, and now I’m returning it to the universe.”
“That’s not how secrets work,” you deadpan, rubbing your temples.
“I need to tell someone! Please, let me tell Alex,” she begs, her voice desperate, like she’s asking for kidney donation approval.
You choke. You actually choke, sputtering on your words like a broken engine. “Are you insane? Have you lost what little is left of your mind?”
“She’s so cool! She won’t tell anyone, I swear.” Kika’s tone is sunny, like she’s campaigning for Alex to win Best Confidant of the Year. “She loves secrets! She’s a vault!”
“She’s my brother’s girlfriend! My. Brother’s. Girlfriend.” You emphasize each word like you’re explaining calculus to a toddler.
“And a great secret keeper regardless of who she’s dating!” She chirps, undeterred.
“She’s dating my brother,” you hiss, as if saying it will drive the point home in her thick skull, pacing across your room like a caged animal. “Do you not see the problem here?”
“I see no problem,” she says brightly. “Alex is the Fort Knox of secrets. She’ll take this to her grave.”
“She’ll take it to my brother,” you counter, jabbing the air with your finger even though she can’t see you. “And then my brother will take it to my mom, and then my mom will take it to church, and next thing you know, I’m being exorcised for sins of the phone!”
Kika laughs, the kind of laugh that means she’s not taking you seriously at all. “Don’t be dramatic. Your mom would faint.”
“Kika!” you hiss, lowering your voice even though no one else is in the room. “If you tell her, I swear to God, I’ll... I’ll-”
“You’ll what? Call Mr. Mystery and complain about me?” Her grin is practically audible.
“Yes, and he’ll agree with me!” you snap, clutching your phone so tightly it’s a miracle it doesn’t crack. “Because this is not a group project!”
“Okay, okay!” She gasps, wheezing like she just finished a marathon. “I won’t tell her! I swear!”
You pause, narrowing your eyes even though she can’t see you. “Wait. Really?”
“No,” she says flatly, so matter-of-fact you feel your brain short-circuit. “I’m absolutely telling her. She’s going to lose her mind.”
You let out a shriek so loud your upstairs neighbor thumps on the floor in retaliation. “Kika, if you even breathe a word”
“Just picture it!” she interrupts, steamrolling over your protest. You can hear her bouncing on her bed. “I’ll text her right now. Something casual, like, ‘Hey Alex, you’re never going to believe-’”
“Fine!” you snap, throwing yourself onto the bed so hard the mattress squeaks in protest. “Fine, just tell her! But we do it in the next meet-up! I have to be present to keep your unruly mouth shut!”
Kika lets out an unholy squeal, the kind that makes dogs two blocks over start barking. You yank the phone away from your ear, grimacing.
“This is the best day of my life,” she announces, and you can practically hear her smirk.
“This is the worst day of mine,” you counter, dragging a pillow over your face and screaming into it.
“Relax,” she says breezily. You hear the telltale sound of typing. “Alex is going to eat this up. She loves a little drama.”
You lower the pillow just enough to breathe. “This isn’t drama. This is my life unraveling because you can’t keep your mouth shut.”
“Oh, please. You’re being dramatic,” she says, her tone so casual you almost throw your phone across the room. “It’s not like we're sending the story to Charles. That would be a scandal.”
You sit bolt upright. “Kika, I swear to all that is holy, if this gets back to him-”
“It won’t!” she chirps. “Unless Alex tells him. But she won’t. Probably.”
“Probably?!” Your voice cracks, and you claw at your scalp like you’re trying to yank out the stress by the roots.
“She’s trustworthy! You trust her, right?” Kika says, still typing away.
“No! I don’t trust anyone!” you shout, rolling onto your stomach and pounding your fists into the mattress. “Least of all you!”
Kika laughs so hard she starts coughing. “Oh, you’ll thank me for this one day,” she chokes out between wheezes.
“Unlikely,” you mutter.
“Anyway, gotta go! I’ll let you know if Alex is available next week,” Kika says brightly, and then the call ends before you can respond.
You stare at your phone in silence, a deep sense of dread pooling in your stomach.
Mistakes were made. By you. Specifically by trusting Kika with anything.
—
The restaurant is stupidly fancy, the kind of place where the bread basket comes with a backstory and the waiters judge you if you butter too enthusiastically.
You sit on the terrace, the Mediterranean sparkling behind you like a postcard that refuses to let you forget how expensive everything is.
Your table has a perfect view of the marina, where billionaires are essentially playing a game of “whose yacht is bigger.”
Not that you’re paying attention.
Alex and Kika are too busy ruining your life for you to focus on anything else.
Alex is halfway through her sea bass when you drop the bomb.
She freezes, her knife poised mid-cut, before her hand falls to the table.
Her fork clatters onto the porcelain plate, loud enough to make a few patrons turn their heads.
You wince, sinking lower in your chair.
Across from you, Kika sips her champagne, completely unbothered. She smirks, clearly enjoying the spectacle.
“You’re kidding,” Alex says, eyes wide with disbelief.
Kika doesn’t miss a beat. “Oh, she’s not kidding,” she says, swirling her glass lazily. “She’s dead serious.”
You squirm under Alex’s gaze, picking at your lobster ravioli like it might swallow you whole if you wish hard enough. “It’s not a big deal,” you mumble.
Alex snorts, an uncharacteristically undignified sound for someone who normally looks like she belongs on the cover of Vogue.
“Not a big deal?” she repeats, her voice rising just enough to make you glance nervously at the tables around you.
“Shut it. People are going to hear,” you hiss.
“Oh, darling,” Kika cuts in, her grin widening. “If people heard, they’d ask for more details. Probably start taking notes.”
Alex ignores her, leaning forward and resting her elbows on the table, etiquette be damned.
“You’re telling me you’ve been having phone sex with some elite celebrity and it’s ‘not a big deal?’”
You groan, dragging a hand down your face. “Can we not call it that?”
“What would you prefer?” Kika asks, her eyes practically sparkling. “Verbal intimacy? Oral storytelling?”
“I hate you both,” you mutter.
Alex waves her off, laser-focused on you. “And the… gift?” she asks, voice dripping with disbelief. “Are we glossing over the fact that he sent you a dildo?”
“It was thoughtful,” Kika offers, deadpan, before taking another sip of champagne.
“Stop helping,” you snap at her.
“I mean, really,” Alex continues, ignoring the interruption. “The man is rich, probably gorgeous to somehow convince you to give him a chance, could maybe have anyone he wants- and he’s doing phone sex with you?”
You glare at her. “Thanks for the vote of confidence.”
“You know what I mean,” she says, brushing off your sarcasm. “Why would he go through all this effort unless-” She stops, her eyes narrowing slightly like she’s just cracked the Da Vinci Code.
“Oh my God.”
“What?” you ask, already dreading whatever is coming next.
“That man is in love with you,” Alex declares, her tone final, like she’s just announced a royal decree.
You choke on air, coughing so violently that Kika reaches over to thump your back, more amused than concerned. “He is not in love with me!” you wheeze.
“He absolutely is,” Alex insists, sitting back and crossing her arms.
“That’s a huge leap,” you argue, waving your hands in front of you. “How do you get ‘in love’ from… from phone sex and-” You gesture vaguely. “Other things?”
Alex doesn’t blink. “He’s a famous athlete, right?”
“Sure,” you say, narrowing your eyes. “So?”
“So,” she says, leaning forward, “he’s settling for phone sex instead of hooking up with someone in person? That doesn’t happen unless he’s in love.”
“It’s not settling!” you argue, flailing slightly. “It’s convenient! We have an NDA; it’s low effort!”
“Low effort?” Alex raises an eyebrow. “More low effort than walking into a club and taking his pick of willing women?”
“Well… yeah!”
Kika cackles, nearly spilling her drink. “Oh, babe. You really think you’re less effort? That’s adorable.”
You glare at her, but Alex presses on, relentless. “Does he do this with anyone else?”
“How would I know that?” you snap.
“Ask him,” Alex says simply, like it’s the most obvious solution in the world.
“Absolutely not!”
“Oh, come on,” Kika says, grinning. “Just casually drop it into conversation. ‘Hey, Mr. Mystery, quick question: am I your only long-distance dirty talk partner, or is this a group activity?’”
You groan, burying your face in your hands. “I’m not asking him that.”
“Why not?” Alex demands, cutting into her sea bass like this conversation isn’t actively ruining your life. “If it’s no big deal, he won’t mind. And if he does mind, well…” She trails off, her smirk infuriatingly smug.
“Then you’ll know he’s in love with you!” Kika chimes in, practically bouncing in her seat.
“Or he’ll think I’m insane,” you shoot back.
Alex shrugs, entirely unbothered. “Either way, it’s good information to have.”
You sit back in your chair, glaring at the two of them as they sip their champagne like this is the most entertaining lunch they’ve ever had.
“You two are the worst,” you mutter.
Kika raises her glass in a mock toast. “To Mr. Mystery and his poor, emotionally repressed heart.”
Alex clinks her glass against Kika’s with a soft laugh. “And to you,” she adds, “the object of his inconvenient affections.”
You consider grabbing their glasses and chucking them into the marina, but that would only prove their point.
Instead, you stab your ravioli with far more force than necessary, trying to ignore the heat rising in your cheeks.
Mistakes. So many mistakes.
—
You can’t stop thinking about it.
Carlos. In love with you.
The concept is so utterly ridiculous you actually laugh to yourself, out loud, like a complete maniac.
Because Carlos isn’t in love with you.
That’s not how this works. Carlos doesn’t do “love.” Carlos doesn’t do you.
Well, okay, he does you in certain… contexts, but that’s beside the point.
The point is, Carlos is like a human golden retriever with too much charm for his own good.
He’s nice to everyone. He flirts with everyone. He probably gives everyone those stupid lingering looks that make your knees go weak.
He doesn’t fall in love. And if he did, it sure as hell wouldn’t be with you.
But the thought won’t leave your brain. It’s set up camp there, pitching a tent and roasting marshmallows over the fire of your own self-doubt.
And then the photo happens.
It’s a normal day.
Quiet. Peaceful, even.
You’re in bed scrolling through your phone, feeling pretty good about life.
You’ve got coffee on the nightstand, a blanket wrapped around you, and a vague sense of superiority because you haven’t thought about Carlos in at least six hours.
Then his face pops up on your feed.
Carlos, golden and gorgeous, lounging on a yacht like he’s auditioning for a Bond movie. He’s shirtless, of course. Because of course he is. The sun catches in his hair, and his jawline looks so sharp it could cut glass.
You don’t even blink.
You’re too used to this by now. This is just Carlos being Carlos.
But then you see her.
The girl.
She’s pressed up against him, all long legs and glossy hair and perfect teeth. She’s laughing, her hand resting casually, possessively, on his chest like it’s hers to touch.
Your stomach does something horrifying, like it’s trying to fold in on itself.
It’s fine, you tell yourself. This is normal. Carlos is always surrounded by beautiful women. This means nothing.
But the way he’s looking at her…
You throw your phone across the bed like it just personally insulted you.
Then you lie back and stare at the ceiling, trying to convince yourself you’re not spiraling.
Spoiler alert: you’re totally spiraling.
Which is how you end up calling Kika and Alex.
Because misery loves company, and also because you’re desperate for someone to tell you you’re not crazy.
“Hello?” Kika answers, far too cheerful for your current mood.
“I need help,” you blurt out.
“What kind of help?” she asks cautiously.
“Emotional help,” you say dramatically. “I’m having an existential crisis.”
“Of course you are,” she says. “Hang on, I’m adding Alex.”
“No, don’t-”
Too late. Alex’s voice cuts in, already exasperated. “What happened now?”
“He posted a photo,” you mumble, already regretting this.
“Okay…” Alex says slowly. “And?”
“And there was a girl in it,” you say, your voice climbing an octave.
“Oh my God,” Kika groans.
Alex sighs. “Let me guess. Hot girl, hand on his chest, looking like she just stepped out of a magazine?”
“Exactly!” you exclaim, sitting up. “How do you always know?”
“Because this happens every time,” he says dryly. “It’s cliche at this point. You're a walking cliche.”
You whine. “He looked… happy.”
There’s a beat of silence before Kika asks, “Are you drunk?”
“No!”
“Okay, just checking,” she says. “Because you sound drunk. Or insane. Possibly both.”
“I’m being serious!” you say, flopping back onto the bed. “What if he actually likes her?”
“Then he’s an idiot,” Alex says without hesitation.
“You don’t even know who she is!”
“Doesn’t matter,” he says. “No one’s better than you.”
You groan. “That’s not helpful.”
“Look,” Kika cuts in, her tone gentler now. “You’ve got two options. One, you ask him about it. Two, you do what you always do and overthink yourself into oblivion.”
“Three,” Alex adds, “you block him, move to a remote island, and live off coconuts for the rest of your life.”
“I hate both of you,” you mutter.
“No, you don’t,” Kika says sweetly. “Now, are you going to talk to him or not?”
“I don’t know,” you admit. “What if I ask and he laughs at me? Or worse, what if he doesn’t care?”
“Then you’ll know,” Alex says simply.
And that’s the crux of it, isn’t it?
Knowing.
Because right now, as painful as it is, not knowing still feels safer than finding out the truth.
“Thanks, guys,” you say finally.
“Anytime,” Kika says. “Now go stalk his Instagram and cry into your coffee like a normal person.”
“Bye,” you grumble, hanging up.
You stare at the ceiling for a long time after that, the ache in your chest refusing to fade.
—
So, you cut him off.
Not all at once, because that would be too obvious, and God forbid Carlos Sainz think you’re actually affected by anything he does.
No, you do it slowly, carefully, like easing out of a party you didn’t really want to attend in the first place.
At first, it’s just a delay in your replies. Not anything dramatic, just enough to make it seem like you’ve got better things to do than hang on his every word.
When he sends a text, you leave it unread for an hour. Maybe two.
(Okay, fine, sometimes you read it immediately and then stare at your phone for thirty minutes trying not to reply, but that’s beside the point.)
When you do respond, you keep it short. Curt, even. No emojis, no playful banter, just cold, functional sentences.
Carlos How’s your day going?
You Busy
Carlos Busy with what?
You Work
He doesn’t push, which is somehow worse.
You want him to notice, to ask what’s wrong, to demand answers you’re not prepared to give. But he doesn’t.
He just keeps texting you, the same way he always has, like nothing’s changed.
When he asks to call, you tell him you’re busy. Which is technically true, if “busy” includes reorganizing your spice rack and watching sad movies while eating ice cream straight out of the tub.
It’s not immediate, but it’s different.
The rhythm of your conversations shifts, the easy flow replaced by stilted exchanges that feel like wading through molasses.
The worst part is how much it hurts.
Because cutting him off isn’t supposed to hurt you. It’s supposed to make things better. Easier. Less messy.
But instead, you’re walking around like some tragic romantic hero, clutching your metaphorical wounds and waiting for someone to ask why you look so miserable.
You try to distract yourself.
You download a meditation app, but the soothing voice telling you to “release your tension” only makes you think about how Carlos used to tease you for clenching your jaw when you were stressed.
You go out with friends, laughing too loud and drinking too much, but every time your phone buzzes, you can’t stop yourself from hoping it’s him.
It usually is.
Carlos Did I do something
You Just busy
Carlos Are you mad at me
You No
You toss your phone onto the couch and stare at it like it’s personally betrayed you. He’s starting to notice, which is both validating and soul-crushing.
Because if he notices, then maybe, just maybe, he actually cares.
And if he actually cares, then maybe cutting him off isn’t the answer.
But then you remember the photo. The girl. The way he looked at her.
And you remind yourself that Carlos Sainz isn’t yours. He never was.
So you keep going.
You tell yourself it’ll get easier. That eventually, his texts will stop coming, and the ache in your chest will fade, and you’ll finally be free of whatever this is.
But for now, you’re just sad and tired and watching Pride & Prejudice for the third time this week, convincing yourself you’re Elizabeth Bennet and he’s Mr. Darcy, except there’s no grand declaration at the end.
There’s just silence.
—
It's one of those times where you answer Carlos' call so he doesn't think you're actively avoiding him.
You’re stretched out on your couch, half-listening as Carlos narrates the chaos of his day, his voice flitting between amusement and exaggerated frustration.
“…and then they tell me the setup’s wrong, again, so I had to sit there, listening to engineers argue for an hour. An hour! I’m telling you, I deserve a medal just for staying awake.”
“Tragic,” you reply, dry as ever. “Truly, you’re the unsung hero of motorsport.”
“Exactly!” he exclaims, his tone shifting as if you’ve validated some grand injustice. “Finally, someone understands.”
You hear the faint rustle of fabric, the soft creak of leather, and you know he’s probably leaning back in one of those expensive chairs he likes so much, the ones you tease him about.
It’s a scene you’ve imagined a thousand times—so familiar it borders on comforting.
“So,” he says, drawing out the word like he’s gearing up for something. “Guess where I am right now?”
“Let me think,” you say. “Some glamorous location with a ridiculous view and an overpriced minibar?”
“Close,” he says, and you can hear the grin tugging at his words. “I’m in Monaco.”
Your heart stumbles, just a little, just enough to be annoying, but you keep your voice casual. “Oh, the usual playground of the rich and famous. How very you.”
“Hey, it’s practically home,” he teases, and the warmth in his tone makes your stomach twist. “And speaking of home… aren’t you supposed to be here too? Isn’t that, like, the whole point of being Monegasque?”
You hesitate, just for a beat, but it’s long enough.
“…Wait,” he says, his voice sharpening with suspicion. “You’re not here, are you?”
“I’m in Italy,” you admit, aiming for breezy and landing somewhere closer to forced.
There’s a pause, the kind of silence that feels heavier than it should. “Italy?” he repeats, his voice carefully light, like he’s trying not to make something of it. “What are you doing there?”
“Just am,” you say, shrugging even though he can’t see it.
“Right,” he says slowly, and you can feel the weight of his thoughts pressing through the line.
He doesn’t push it, though, because Carlos is a lot of things, but he’s not the kind of person who asks questions he’s not ready to hear the answers to.
He shifts the conversation after that, steering it back to safer waters.
He tells you about a restaurant he tried, about the ridiculous amount of traffic on his way to the track.
You laugh in the right places, make snarky comments when it’s expected, and for a while, it feels almost normal.
But it’s not.
The photo lingers in the back of your mind like a ghost. Her hand on his chest, his easy grin, the effortless way they fit together.
You thought you could handle it. Thought you could keep things light and easy, pretend that the photo didn’t bother you, that you hadn’t spent an embarrassing amount of time dissecting every pixel like it held some kind of secret truth.
But now, sitting here, listening to him ramble on about his day like everything’s fine, you’re not so sure.
“Hey,” he says suddenly, breaking the flow of his own story. His voice is quieter now, more thoughtful. “You’ve been kind of… off lately. Is everything okay?”
Your breath catches, just for a second.
“I’m fine,” you say quickly, too quickly.
There’s a pause, just long enough for you to know he doesn’t believe you.
But he doesn’t call you on it. He just hums softly, like he’s letting you have this one.
The conversation winds down after that. He says something about an early meeting, and you use it as an excuse to end the call.
—
Carlos has a suspicion you’re avoiding him.
Or maybe, just maybe, Charles Leclerc has turned into some kind of shadowy mastermind, meticulously coordinating Carlos’s travel schedule just so he can keep you two apart.
It’s ridiculous, sure, but how else do you explain it?
When Carlos is in Monaco, you’re in Italy. When he’s in Italy, you’re in Mallorca. When he’s in Mallorca, you’ve suddenly jetted off to Switzerland, of all places.
It’s like you’ve taken on the role of “Where in the World Is Carmen Sandiego?” with unsettling precision, a game he didn’t even know he was playing until now.
At first, he tried to laugh it off.
Told himself it was just bad timing, a string of coincidences that would eventually break in his favor.
But now? Now it feels deliberate. Calculated. And the worst part is, he knows you. Knows you well enough to feel the subtle shift in the air between you, like a storm quietly gathering on the horizon.
He’s tried to tell himself he’s overthinking it.
That you’ve just been busy, that your life doesn’t revolve around him and his schedule.
But the excuses are starting to ring hollow, even to his own ears.
The delayed responses to his texts. The way your smile doesn’t quite reach your eyes when he finally does manage to catch you available for a call.
And now, sitting alone in his Monaco apartment, his phone resting on the coffee table in front of him like a lifeline you’ve left dangling just out of reach, Carlos can’t shake the weight that’s settled in his chest.
You’re pulling away.
The realization hits him like a punch to the gut, sudden and brutal.
He leans forward, elbows resting on his knees, his hands running through his hair as he stares at the floor.
His heart feels heavy, tangled up in a mess of confusion and hurt and something he doesn’t want to name.
Why? That’s the question that keeps circling back.
Why are you doing this? Why now, when he feels like he’s finally starting to understand just how much you mean to him?
His mind races, replaying every interaction, every conversation, searching for the moment he might’ve pushed you away without realizing it.
Did he say something? Did he not say enough?
“Dios,” he mutters under his breath, his voice thick with frustration.
He doesn’t want to think it, doesn’t want to believe it, but the thought won’t leave him alone: maybe you’ve finally gotten tired of him.
The idea makes his chest ache, a dull, hollow pain that spreads until it feels like it’s consuming him.
He doesn’t want to lose you, doesn’t want to let go of the quiet moments, the shared laughs, the way you make him feel like he can just be for once.
But what can he do? He can’t force you to stay, can’t make you want him if you don’t.
He picks up his phone, his thumb hovering over your name in his messages and sends a message before he chickens out.
Carlos Where are you right now?
You Still hoping for that coffee date, huh?
Carlos Always
You …Paris
Carlos frowns at his phone, and you can almost hear the mental gears grinding in his head. Paris. Of course, it’s Paris. Because why wouldn’t it be?
Carlos Okay, I’m going there.
Your phone buzzes immediately, the boldness of his response catching you off guard.
You What?
You ARE YOU SERIOUS???
Carlos Yes.
You Carlos, you can’t just drop everything and fly to Paris.
Carlos Watch me.
You stare at your phone, torn between laughing and rolling your eyes. This is insane. You text him back, unsure if you want to be mad or amused.
You This is insane.
Carlos No, it’s determination.
You It’s bordering on stalker behavior.
Carlos Then stop running from me.
You I’m not running!
Carlos You’re in a different country every time I blink. Sounds like running.
You It’s called having a life.
Carlos A life that conveniently never overlaps with mine. Carlos Got it.
You Carlos, I swear to God if you actually come here
He doesn’t reply. The silence settles in, and you think that’s the end of it. Carlos is too sensible to drop everything and fly to Paris, right? Right?
Wrong.
Three hours later, you’re in your hotel room, scrolling through your phone while you regret the third croissant you scarfed down earlier, when you hear a knock at the door.
You frown, setting your phone down. You weren’t expecting anyone.
Another knock, this time more insistent.
Curious, you peek through the peephole. And there he is.
Carlos Sainz.
Standing in the hallway, casually leaning against the doorframe, holding a bouquet of flowers like it’s the most normal thing in the world.
Your jaw drops.
You swing the door open before you can think better of it. “What are you doing here?”
Carlos shrugs, flowers in hand. “You said Paris.”
“That wasn’t an invitation!” you hiss, your eyes darting up and down the hallway as if expecting paparazzi to jump out from behind the elevator.
“Seemed like one to me,” he says, unfazed, like he’s the most logical person in the universe. “Besides, I brought flowers. That makes it okay.”
You stand there, staring at him, completely caught between laughing and slamming the door in his face. “This is… I don’t even have words.”
“‘Thank you’ works,” he suggests, stepping past you as if he has every right to be there, dropping onto the armchair with the ease of someone who’s been invited to stay.
“Excuse me-” you splutter, still holding the flowers, but too stunned to do anything with them.
Carlos stretches his legs out in front of him like he’s planning to stay a while. “Nice room. Cozy.”
“You can’t just-” You gesture wildly at him, still holding the flowers like they’re some kind of shield. “Carlos, this is insane!”
“What’s insane,” Carlos says, his voice slicing through the heavy silence, “is how hard you’ve been avoiding me.”
The words hit you like a sharp slap, cutting through the thin armor you’ve been clinging to.
You wince, his accusation landing squarely on the truth you’ve been trying so desperately to bury.
“I’m not avoiding you,” you say, but even as the words leave your mouth, they feel hollow.
A poor, pathetic attempt to cover up the obvious.
His eyes narrow. “Yes, you are,” he replies, his voice edged with a kind of raw frustration you’ve never heard from him before. “You’ve been avoiding me, pulling away like I’ve done something-”
He leans forward, his knuckles white from how hard he’s clenching them. “Did I do something? Tell me, please.”
You shake your head quickly, your chest tightening. “No, Carlos, you didn’t-”
“Don’t lie to me.” His voice cracks, rising just enough to make you flinch. There’s a tremor in his tone, something that tells you this isn’t just frustration- it’s pain.
Your mind races, heart pounding against your ribcage like it’s trying to escape. You can’t look at him.
You can’t meet his eyes because you know what you’ll see there: vulnerability. A rawness you’re too afraid to face.
“I told you, I’m not avoiding you,” you say again, but your voice wavers. The lie cracks as it leaves your lips.
Carlos exhales sharply, a bitter, humorless laugh escaping him. “Really? That’s what you’re going with? You’re not avoiding me? Because from where I’m standing, it sure as hell feels like you are.”
His voice lowers, softer now but no less piercing. “You’ve been ignoring my calls, dodging my texts. You won’t even look at me right now.”
He pauses, his voice dropping even further, his words so quiet they’re barely a whisper. “It’s like you’re disappearing right in front of me.”
“I’ve been busy,” you mumble weakly, knowing even as you say it how ridiculous it sounds.
“Busy,” he repeats, dragging the word out like it physically pains him to say it. “Right. Busy. Of course. That’s your excuse? That’s all you’ve got?”
You open your mouth to respond, but he steamrolls ahead, his voice rising in disbelief. “Do you think I’m stupid? Is that it? Like I haven’t noticed you pulling some kind of secret agent disappearing act every time I’m within a five-mile radius?”
“I’m not-”
“Oh, please!” he cuts you off, throwing his hands up dramatically. “When I was in Monaco, you were in Italy. When I was in Italy, you were in Mallorca. When I was in Mallorca, you went to Paris. I thought you cared about the planet!”
“I had a reason!” you defend weakly.
“Oh, sure. Let me guess. You were ‘busy.’” He uses air quotes this time, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “Busy doing what? Hiding in the catacombs so I wouldn’t find you?”
“Carlos-”
“No, seriously! Are you Carmen Sandiego? Did you take on a secret job as an international spy and forget to tell me? Because at this point, that’s the only explanation that makes any sense!”
You can’t help it.
A small, nervous laugh escapes you, but it’s swallowed by the look he gives you, a mix of exasperation and something rawer, something vulnerable that wipes the humor from your face instantly.
“I’m serious,” he says, his voice quieter now, though no less intense. “Why are you doing this? What happened? Did I do something?”
“No!” you blurt out, the word rushing out of you like a reflex. “You didn’t do anything-”
“Then what?” he demands, stepping closer, his brows furrowed. “Why does it feel like every time I try to get close to you, you’re already halfway out the door? What is it? Did I say something? Did I forget something important? Did I-”
“Stop!” you snap, your voice louder than you intended, cutting him off mid-spiral. “You didn’t do anything, okay? It’s me!”
He freezes, his hands hovering in the air like he doesn’t know what to do with them. “What do you mean, it’s you?”
You take a deep, shaky breath, your heart pounding in your chest. “I can’t do this anymore, Carlos. I can’t keep pretending like this, like we, don’t mean more to me than it should.”
His brows knit together, confusion flashing across his face. “What are you talking about? What does that even mean?”
“It means I’m in love with you, okay?” you blurt out, the words tumbling out of you before you can stop them.
Your hands fly to your face, your voice shaking as you add, “Not as a joke. Not as a friend. Not in some ‘haha, Carlos is cute, what if’ kind of way. I’m in love with you, and it’s ruining me, and now I’ve said it, and- oh my God- I’m going to vomit-”
“Wait, what?” Carlos interrupts, his voice a mix of shock and something dangerously close to hope.
“You heard me!” you snap, your hands still covering your face as you pace in frantic little circles. “I’m in love with you, and now I’ve ruined everything, and you’re going to freak out and leave, and then I’ll have to fake my death and move to Antarctica and befriend a penguin colony-”
“Will you stop?” he cuts in, grabbing your arm to stop your pacing. “Just- stop for a second, okay?”
You yank your arm back instinctively, shaking your head. “No, I can’t stop! Because if I stop, I’m going to have to look at you, and if I look at you, I’m going to see the exact moment you decide this is too much, and you walk out of my life forever, and I’m not emotionally equipped for that-”
“Would you listen to me?” he shouts, his voice startling you into silence.
His hands fall to his sides, his eyes locking on yours with a desperate kind of intensity. “I’m not walking out of your life, okay? I’m not going anywhere. Jesus, do you really think so little of me?”
Your lip wobbles, your voice breaking. “You don’t get it. You’ll leave.”
He lets out a laugh. Sharp, exasperated, and a little unhinged. “I’m in love with you, you absolute idiot.”
You freeze. Your brain is refusing to process what he just said. “What?”
“I said I’m in love with you,” he repeats, louder this time, as if yelling the words will hammer them into your skull.
“Have been since the first night, I think. Do you honestly believe I’d fly halfway across the world, lose sleep, and spam you with dog pictures because I don’t love you?”
You stare at him, mouth agape. “You- what?”
“Yes!” he throws his hands up, pacing like he’s been holding this in for years and it’s physically painful to let it out. “God, how do you not see it? I thought I was being so obvious!”
Your brain is scrambling for any coherent thought, but instead, all you manage is: “Then who was that girl?”
Carlos blinks at you, mid-rant. “What girl?”
You fumble for your phone like you’ve been waiting for this exact moment to catch him red-handed.
Opening Instagram with trembling fingers, you shove the screen in his face, pointing at the offending photo. “This girl. The one on the yacht!”
He squints at the screen, then back at you, his brow furrowing.
“That’s my cousin, Marina.”
Your heart stops. “What?”
“My cousin,” he says again, slower this time, as though you might be hard of hearing. “She’s married to a guy named Tomás. I was literally holding her bag while she FaceTimed her kids.”
You gape at him, the ground beneath you threatening to swallow you whole. “Oh.”
Carlos stares at you, his mouth falling open. Then it clicks. “Oh my God. Is this why you’ve been avoiding me?”
“I wasn’t-”
“You were ghosting me because you thought I was on a yacht with my cousin?” he demands, his voice climbing into incredulous territory.
“It looked bad!” you squeak, the heat in your face making it impossible to look him in the eye. “I didn’t know she was your cousin! She was all- touchy!”
“She was showing me pictures of her dog!” he cries, like he can’t believe he’s having this conversation.
You clutch your head, feeling both humiliated and mildly hysterical. “I’m an idiot. I’m the biggest idiot alive.”
“No arguments there,” he mutters, running a hand through his hair, then fixing you with a look that’s somewhere between amused and exasperated. “You honestly thought I’d just…what? Post my side chick on Instagram for you to see?”
“I didn’t know what to think!” you snap, burying your face in your hands. “I panicked, okay? My brain spiraled!”
Carlos lets out a disbelieving laugh, pacing a tight circle like he’s trying to figure out how he got here. “So instead of asking me, you just…decided to ignore me? For weeks?”
“I said I panicked!” you groan, peeking at him through your fingers, mortified.
He stares at you for a beat, then pinches the bridge of his nose, muttering something under his breath in Spanish. “You’re lucky I love you, you know that?”
Your heart lurches, but you’re still too mortified to fully process it. “You can’t possibly still love me after this.”
“Oh, I can,” he says dryly, crossing his arms. “But I’m definitely telling Marina about this. She’s going to think it’s hilarious.”
“No!” you cry, lunging forward and grabbing his arm. “Carlos, I swear to God, if you tell your cousin-”
He grins, all smug amusement now, his earlier frustration melting away. “I’ll think about keeping it a secret. On one condition.”
“What condition?” you ask warily.
“You stop ghosting me,” he says simply, his voice softening as his eyes meet yours. “And maybe…start trusting me a little more?”
You let out a shaky breath, the weight of your own stupidity pressing down on you. “I’m sorry,” you whisper, looking at the floor. “I really messed this up.”
“Yeah, you did,” he agrees, but there’s no bite to his words. He tilts your chin up so you have no choice but to look at him. “But you can make it up to me. Dinner tomorrow?”
You nod, a small, embarrassed smile tugging at your lips. “Okay.”
“And for the record,” he adds, smirking, “if you ever ghost me again, I’m showing up with a mariachi band.”
You groan, shoving him lightly as he laughs, but you can’t help the warmth spreading through your chest. Somehow, against all odds, he’s still yours.
---
@lilorose25 @widow-cevans @mderby03 @zyklion @papichulomacy @irisesinthegarden @leclercdream @moonvr @ilovemeni @iamdedsthingz @shwnirwin @softhecreator @claimingharrystigertattoo @5sospenguinqueen @wadupppdylan-blog @waytooobsessedwithlife @weekendlusting
#x reader#formula one#formula one x reader#formula 1#carlos sainz x reader#carlos sainz#carlos sainz x you#formula 1 x female reader#formula 1 x reader#cs55 imagine#cs55 smut#cs55 x reader#cs55 x you#cs55 fic#cs55#carlos sainz jr x you#carlos sainz jr x reader#carlos sainz smut#f1 fic#f1#f1 fanfic#f1 x reader#f1 imagine
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HIIIIIII
First I wanna say I love your work and give you all my support
So I was thinking a husband!father Charlie x wife!reader (cause I saw in a fic that apparently priest can stay married if they got married before they became priest but hey I dunno girl I ain’t Christian😭) and like reader work at the diner where Megan and Charlie goes to eat in episode 2 and reader is really jealous of Megan and hate her (she don’t hide it from Charlie) because she’s supposed to be a nun but she’s still drooling over Charlie.
This is all I got because it’s been in my late night fake scenarios for WEEKS but I always called asleep before fixing an end😭
Love ya kiss kiss💗🫶
Jealous Girl (Father Charlie x wife reader)
warnings: language, implied actions
wordcount: 1.1k
authors note: I enjoyed writing this one. Thank you for the support!!! VERY appreciated love! I hope this is similar to what you were wanting! Let me know if you want a pt. 2!!
You never gave much thought to your future. Your mind was fixated on one thing and one thing only: Charlie Mayhew and his damn charm. From the very moment you laid eyes on him, he completely consumed me. He is the one thing that managed to make you think about the future; you'd be more than just a waitress at the simple diner in your town; you'd be his wife, and that was something you made sure of. One thing you didn't count on? Your personal trainer husband becoming a priest. It wasn't an easy change; you weren't really a religious person, so you didn't really understand his calling, but you supported him the best you could.
(Present day)
It was a normal day in the diner, not completely empty but not completely full. Nothing really caught your eye until the bell jingled, signaling a customer walking in; you ruffled down your uniform, putting on your customer service smile. "Welcome in..." You trail off, soaking in the person in front of you. Dressed in black and white, full-on nun attire with her phone glued to her hand. You quickly clear your throat, realizing you had stared a bit too long. "Welcome in Sister. Would you prefer a seat at the counter or in a booth?" She takes a second, glancing between the booth and the counter. "A booth please. I'm meeting someone; face to face seems better." She flashes you an awkward smile, waiting for you to lead the way. "Of course, right this way." You grab two menus, thoughts clawing at your brain. Who could she be meeting? More nuns? Not really something the diner sees a lot. Truckers? Yes. Nuns? No. You lead her to her booth, placing a menu in front of and across from her. You pull your pen from behind your ear and a notepad out as she slides into her spot, eyes bouncing from me to the door. "Can I get you started with something to drink?" Her eyes dart to you, "A water would be fine, thank you." You nod, beaming her a smile before walking off.
The sound of chitter fills your ears as you make your way behind the counter, huffing to yourself as you fix her water. Another one of your customers at the counter flag you down for a refill. You top off their coffee before sauntering off back to the nun's booth with her water and your notepad at the ready. "Can I get you something to eat while you wait, hun?" She moves a strand of blonde, curly hair from her eyes as she shakes her head. "I'll wait for the father to arrive; I don't want to seem rude, but could I change out my water for a root beer when you take my order?" You nod, stashing away your notepad. "Just holler when you need me!" You wipe down a table passing the time, humming to yourself when the doorbell jingles again. You look back in curiosity, only to see your husband. You bite the inside of your cheek, a nasty habit when you're worried. You abandon the task at hand, rushing to your husband, worried something could be wrong. "Hey, is everything okay?" You bite your lip nervously as his face scrunches into confusion. "Everything's fine? Why wouldn't it be?" You exhaled deeply, shoulders dropping as the worry melted away. "Sorry, love, I just wasn't expecting a visit from you today. He shakes his head, eyes glancing behind you. You turn your head to meet what had his attention. Ah, the nun. "She's been waiting for you, father." The word comes out harsher than you expected, catching him off guard. He places a reassuring hand on your shoulder, gently giving it a squeeze. "I'm just here to go over a story she wrote for the paper. She's been bringing in a lot more people to my sermons. You hum in response as you lead him to her booth, ready to take their order. "We'll both take the burger and fries." She answers for the both of them; you jot it down and walk off. You place the ticket in the window, your eyes never leaving their table.
You crossed your arms over your chest, your jaw tightening as your gaze followed their every movement. You knew you had nothing to worry about; she's a nun, but something in you just couldn't help it. You knew your husband was good-looking. His brown, styled-back hair, his piercing dark chocolate eyes that would make anyone melt, topped off with his perfect smile that could make your knees weak with one flash. His voice smooth like honey, you could just listen to him for hours, and below those robes was a perfect body. He truly was just perfect. Your hands fall to your side as you watch her flirt with him, him laughing and flashing that perfect smile. Your fists balled up at your sides, the tension in your knuckles betraying your calm demeanor. But duty calls, and their order is ready. You bring out the hot plates, interrupting the two of them so tangled up in their conversation. "Will that be all for you, sister? Father." You put on a fake smile, so hard you thought you might squeeze out your eyes. "No, this is perfect." You give her a nod and walk off, not acknowledging your husband. You have to remind yourself not to worry; he's married to you. Charlie was your strength, but also your weakness. You refuse to lose him.
You try to distract yourself by finishing up your shift; as soon as the clock strikes four, you toss off your apron and storm out of the diner, not even giving him a second glance. He knew he was in for it when he got home. You pull up to your home, nothing fancy; walking in you toss your keys on the counter and toss off your uniform, slipping into a robe. Time to decompress the day away until you hear a car screech into your driveway. Fuck. Charlie storms in, nose flared as he stalks towards you. You cross your arms, staring him down, daring him to say something stupid. "She's a fucking nun, Y/N. She has vows to honor." You take a step towards him, placing your pointer finger against his chest. "Yeah? Did you see the way she was looking at you, practically eye-fucking you? Just because she's a nun doesn't mean she wouldn't think about it." His jaw clenches as you stare at him, not giving in easily this time. He stares down at you, eyes piercing into your soul, when his hand reaches up, gripping your jaw. "I'm going to fix this little problem of yours, yeah?" His voice soft, the embodiment of calm. You raise your brows, a smirk tugging at your lips. "On your knees, now." Without a second thought, you slowly fall down to your knees; he leans down, his grip never leaving your jaw. His thumb pulls down your bottom lip, hunger burning with every touch. "Such a jealous fucking girl. I'm going to show you; I'm all yours."
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Tag list: @nicholaschavezslut69
#plus size reader#nicholas alexander chavez#nicholas chavez x reader#nicholas chavez x plus size reader#dr charlie mayhew#dr charlie mayhew x plus size reader#grotesquerie#father charlie x reader#charlie mayhew#father charlie x plus side reader#dr charlie mayhew x reader
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my hatemail for you is that coming home is too fucking good and im having a hard time finding other jayvik fics that hit like it hit >:( im too new here to have already found my "The Javik Fic" dammit!!!! (p.s. have a good new year <3)
heeheheheeh thank you stuff like this means so much !
but also maybe i can HELPPP
there are some incredible fics out there that deserve so much love and recognition so here's a list of some of my absolute faves!
to swim through the fires – to stay in this world by theroyalsavage (M)
literally adore the character writing in this one and the tone. i found myself relating to and enjoying the style so much.
wound care (E) by Sinister_Queer
call me a child of divorce but I really struggle with fics where they're divorced, but this one is so with it. such an incredible, well-thought-out world and love that is so tangible between them.
advanced particle physics (the laws of attraction may apply) (E) by Sinister_Queer
fuck i didn't realize these were written by the same person until I did this list holy shit I want to give this person a kidney. I'm very picky about modern AUs probably because I had to think about my own so much. but this is just. so so good. The Jayce in this is EXQUISITE!!!
Love was the Law (E) by ruinthatboy
she's the most popular girl in school and I don't care because I'm still going to be singing her praises. incredible fic.
i read the signs (E) by vavavavoom
this is fucking phenomenal. i'd say its more vikjayce because we have defender jayce and machine herald vik, though its also set in an alternate reality from league. it has just, delicious epistolary elements. such good relationship building. it's so hard in a situation like theirs to believe they're fall in love but the author really. makes. you. believe it.
heavy crown (E) by vavavavoom
another absolute banger from this author. i love reading from an author that characterizes differently than you, but still so goddamn WELL. I feel the longing and tension in this and how that wars with duty. it's so marvelous.
hearts in halves (E) by vavavoom
i really struggle with mythology adaptations because they're deceptively hard to pull off but this author did it so damn well. The UGHHH!!!. THE PINING !!! THE WANT !!! AHHH!!!! I literally do not understand how it has not gotten more attention.
the blessing of all that you dreamed (M) by nightlilly
such an interesting one where the set up is similar to their lab dynamic in season 1 but viktor happens to be a really cool original fantasy being who can show people their deepest desires, which obviously gives then-oblivious jayce a crisis. so so good?
let's talk about chemistry cause I'm dying to melt through to the heart of {his} molecules (M) by the_RiftWalker
the love between them is so palpable in this one. they just feel so real. i relate to viktor a lot in this one - just really exquisite work.
inside the starshine by sepiacigarettes (E)
short and sweet and sexy with 👏PINING 👏LOVESTRUCK👏VIKTOR👏
Started out with a Kiss (T) by CasperCryptid
if you need to smile read this. its an adorable very silly drabble that somehow still manages to pack in some signature jayvik longing.
Perfect (M) by TheTrickyOwl
one of my first Jayvik fics i ever read from the one and only and oh my god. the raw emotion in this is so sweet.
Nothing Left to Lose (M) by TheTrickyOwl
same emotions as in perfect but in a devastatingly depressing context. is so so worth the read. so stunning and just brought up so many feelings.
tell me when my hunting days are done (E) by dualwelding
Dark and depressing Vampirism where the change Jayce makes to viktor after he almost dies is turning him into a vampire with insatiable bloodlust. it's such a gut punch and its sexy and I love it!
And finally...
I really hesitated to put anything of my own in this list because these authors are so damn good but I do have two others other than coming home (but not to you). I actually am more proud of here at the end so I wanted to throw it at people against their will.
Here at the End of All Things (M)
Follows old Man AU Mage Viktor's decades of solitude and the aftermath of his meeting with Jayce
In the After (E)
wrote this right after season 2 as a way to cope. was high on these new meds that weren't working the whole time so uhh. i can't attest to this one. she's my stepchild. but I have an inherent affection for her due to the time I wrote it. - follows what might happen after Jayce and Viktor vanished.
#ask bee#jayvik fic recs#im sorry if putting my stuff in there was a dickish mood but some people dont know i have other things !#i wanna be more than a one trick pony DKFLJHSDFL#i know im forgetting a few and it'll haunt me#i'll perhaps do another larger and more official list soon
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Down The Caliginous Road - A.H
Summary: Finally working for Agatha Harkness is a whole lot of conversation to be talked about, but finally working with Agatha Harkness is another conversation you weren't ready to speak up about. Maybe, it's because of how much she confuses you, or maybe it's just because of how much of your time seemed to be so consumed by her. What's wrong with her? You didn't know. But, one thing's for sure, she's something else than what those sleazy tabloids pictured her to be.
Author's Note: Ahhhh, here comes the 2nd part of CEO!Agatha, hope you'll enjoy it! It's starting to become more... of a rabbit hole (I'm TRYING my best), dark fics aren't my pursuits in writing. 5,5k words.
Warnings: Mean!Agatha, Red flag!Agatha but is really a Green flag, Simp! Agatha ahhhh, Buff!Tall!Agatha (enough to manhandle you and break your bones), Sexual Innuendos, cursing. (Tell me if I missed something)
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3rd Person's POV:
"Come in." Agatha called out through the room when she heard a knock.
Waking up today, it felt like her responsibilities were taken off of her shoulder, as if she was floating in cloud nine. She didn't know whether it was because of waking up on the right side of the bed or maybe it was because of the message she received from Wanda.
Ms. Y/L/N just emailed back. Gosh, I'm over the moon that she accepted. I almost thought she wouldn't since it's been three days already. Be good, Agatha, or you'd lose two people. Yes, two means that includes me.
She didn't even know why she was smiling so much that time, but maybe it's just because she knows she'll get less of Wanda's earful scolding here and there.
Though, there was a certain disappointment that haunted her insides. Hoping for a certain message to come through and pop up, but received none. Of course, Y/n won't be able to message her, she didn't know her personal email—especially her number.
What could she expect? She could only hope that Y/n liked the laptop she gifted and that she didn't had to borrow from anyone anymore. She could just only imagine what the girl's reaction was, almost giggling like a high school girl at the thought.
"Hey..." Wanda went inside the room, rummaging through her bag without looking up at Agatha, missing the smile that immediately turned down from the older woman's face. "Here's the papers you need for Ms. Y/L/N. Are you sure you don't want me to fill her in?" Curiously meeting her boss's gaze, she finally caught something unusual on Agatha's face.
"Thank you, Maximoff. And yeah, I got it, don't worry." Giving her a tight lipped smile, Wanda's eyes narrowed as Agatha kept the envelope on one of the drawers underneath her desk.
"Well, I hope you don't scare her off on the first day." Crossing her arms, Wanda took a seat on the chair in front of Agatha's desk.
The same chair that Agatha's eyes would unconsciously stare at as she thought of you.
"You're over exaggerating everything, Wanda." The roll of her eyes didn't go unnoticed by Wanda, just as the faint curl of her lips.
The usual annoyance that would lace through her tone was absent, only playfulness and something that Wanda couldn't pinpoint. "You seem... a little vibrant today. Did you fire someone that I didn't know?" Wanda blurted out, watching as Agatha's gaze snapped at her with a frown, a frown that is not too deep for Wanda's liking.
"Now, you're over analyzing things. Maybe you're the one who might be feeling a little different today." Agatha bites back before focusing her attention on the laptop in front of her.
Frowning, Wanda acted as if she was offended at the assumption. "Hey! I'm not-" Wanda was cut off by the sudden knock on the door, making Agatha let out a small chuckle with a shake of her head.
"Come in." Wanda only rolled her eyes while looking at the window, anticipating what would come out.
One of the employees peeked her head inside, seeing the two women in the room before also letting her whole body in. "A woman is requesting to see you, Ms. Harkness. She seemed persistent and said that she has something important to discuss..." Wanda frowned and looked back at Agatha.
"God, it's too early for another scandalous scene. What did you do this time, Agatha." Wanda didn't only ask but demanded a question.
Agatha who was wearing a stoic expression, visibly not caring as she looked back down on her laptop, continuing on what she was doing. "Who is it?" She asked.
The woman looked behind her, peeking her head on the other side of the door, getting the name of the girl behind her, making Agatha's eyes roll in annoyance. Nodding, she turned to put her attention back on her boss. "Y/n Y/l/n, Ms. Harkness."
Wanda surely didn't miss the way that Agatha's head almost broke with how fast she looked back up at the woman, almost making the whole floor rumble with how fast she stood up. "Invite her in, now." Slowly, a curl on Wanda's side of the lips formed on her face, gears seemed to finally be running inside her head.
She watched as Agatha anticipated, staring at the door with an expression she hadn't seen before. Her eyes help a glint that sprinkles a curiosity in Wanda's insides.
Soon enough, the same girl from four days ago, clad in some simple jeans with a coat that seemed to be her only protector from the gloomy weather of the city of Westview. Her flats paddled towards the woman whose eyes seemed to have the ability to brighten up the day with how her eyes gleamed up.
"Ms. Y/l/n, glad to see you here." Agatha greeted, wearing an unusual smile that made Wanda smirk knowingly. Agatha could only hope it didn't sound as if she was already expecting the girl to come.
"Good morning, Ms. Harkness..." Continuing her walk towards the woman with her gaze glued to hers, Agatha cursed mentally, only then realizing how big her office is—only then, hating how big it is. "Oh!" Almost coming out as a quiet yelp, Y/n stopped walking, turning to the other woman in the room who stood up.
"Ms. Maximoff, I'm sorry, I didn't- I didn't see you, Good morning." Bowing her head, she looked between the two women, her cheeks heating up as her heart started beating loudly, almost fearing that a couple pair of ear might hear it. "I'm so sorry, did I interrupt something?- Oh god... I'm really sorry..." Her feet moving slowly back to the door, as if attempting to carefully escape a horror room with her eyes wide and still stammering.
"Hey, no, no-" Agatha didn't know if she should be thankful that Wanda cut her off or pissed that she did. At least, they won't have the chance to hear her almost desperate tone.
"No, sweetheart, it's fine, we're done here anyways. Come, sit here." Y/n looked at both of the woman, cautiously walking further back inside the room.
Cheeks are still flush, while her hands gripped at the handle of a paper bag that she was holding. "I-I'm really sorry, I should've- I didn't..." She stammered while taking a seat, regretting it as she suddenly felt more nervous as both of the women seemed to overtowered her with their height.
"Don't worry, darling." Offering her hand, Wanda smiled at the girl who took it and shook their hand. "Nice to see you again..." Turning back to Agatha, missing the way that the older woman had unconsciously swallowed roughly while gazing at their hands that are entwined. "Agatha." Bowing her head slightly towards the older woman who did the same, offering a silent farewell.
"Thank you, Ms. Maximoff." Agatha said.
"I'll be outside if you need me." Wanda said before turning back to the girl and gave her a smile, receiving a coy smile in return.
"See you around, Ms. Y/l/n." Wanda said before she started walking.
"Just Y/n." Y/n offered, nodding her subconsciously.
"We often use professionalism around her, Ms. Y/l/n." After missing a certain small frown on Agatha's forehead, she heard the older woman suddenly talk.
Now, not noticing the smirk on the red head's face, as Wanda shook her head, finally getting the answers she needed for a certain curiosity that ran miles in her head.
As soon as the other woman took her exit, Agatha sighed, as if grateful to be left alone. Sitting down, she looked back at the girl who was already looking at her with the same coy smile. "Well?"
"The laptop..." Y/n started, not knowing how to form the things she wanted to say.
Agatha raised an eyebrow, the same small smile playing on her face. "Which I hope you liked." She filled in immediately, her smile now becoming more visible.
"So, it really is for me then?" The sudden amused expression from Agatha's face made the girl nervous as she almost flinched from her seat, jumping it to ramble. "I love it! I mean, thank you, really. I just- it was... I didn't... I didn't expect you to buy me one- it's too much, and it's- it's so much, I thought you might've put the wrong address..." Shrugging as she trailed off, carefully scanning the older woman's face who seemed to be looking so... entertained.
"Hmm, if I did, one thing's for sure is that I put the right name. Y/n Y/l/n, that's your name, right, honey?" Blush seemed to be creeping up again as she looked down, hoping to hide it.
"Thank you, really..." Looking back up, Agatha had never seen something so... genuine—so pure. She was stuck between wanting to ruin it or take care of it. "I don't know how to repay you—I mean, I could, but it might take me months, that laptop must've cost you a fortune." Y/n rambled and all Agatha could think is how adorable she looked, but she would never admit that.
"A number that comes back to my bank account per minute, don't mind it, okay? It's for you, use it. I expect no payment. Thought of it as the company's welcoming gift." Agatha playfully moved her eyebrows, almost cringing herself with how she was acting and trying to reassure the girl in front of her.
Y/n wondered if it's only her or did Agatha also gave the others something like that. "Oh, so your company gives away... laptops?" Y/n asked curiously, Agatha chuckled before answering.
"No, no. It's from me, Y/n. I gave it to you because I wanted to. Now, enough questions, sweetheart." Agatha directly confessed, only leaving the girl in front of her wanting more answers.
Another wishful thinking formed inside the girl, for her to be the only one that Agatha had given something like that, but she would never come close to accepting that she thought of something like that.
"Oh, I- uh..." Holding up the paper bag that contrasted the aesthetic around her. "I was gonna message you personally but I didn't think it was enough. I baked you cookies last night, I hope you'll like them." Standing up to give the bag to the older woman who accepted it with so much ease.
"Oh wow, honey. You didn't have to, really." Standing till by the table, she watched as the woman took a peek of what is inside, her legs almost trembling with how nervous she was.
"They look delicious! Oh god, they smell so good too! I can't wait to try it, sweetheart." Again, she wondered if the air-conditioning inside the office was shut off or is it just her.
"I know it's not enough- but I could bake you some more if you would like." Y/n rambled once again, stammering as she did so.
Agatha looked up, smiling as an idea popped inside her head. "It is more than enough!" Putting the paper bag aside, she stood up, circling around the table to walk towards the girl. "I don't usually eat sweets, but I know I'll love them."
"Oh- I'm sorry, I didn't- I didn't know." Y/n blurted out, her heart seemed to be beating more faster as the woman came close to her.
"You couldn't have known, but how about you accompany me for breakfast?" Agatha blurted out, noticing the way Y/n's eyes widen and her motor thinking seemed to stop for a moment.
"Breakfast?... Like, eat... out?" Seeming like a lost child, she asked.
What boss would invite a person who hasn't started working for her yet to eat out?
"Yeah! I know a delicious diner at the corner down the street." Seeing the confused expression that the girl was wearing. "Think of it as a business meeting..." Shrugging, Agatha put up an unbothered face as if she did not just practically ask the girl out.
"I also have to fill you in with the job, anyways..."
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Y/n's POV:
"How was it?" I looked up to see Agatha looking at me, a smile on her face that almost hid behind the lid of her cup of coffee.
"It's good." I said, grinning at her to show just how much I loved the latte I ordered. "How much was it?" I asked, putting down the cup before turning to rummage my bag for my wallet.
"It's on me, don't worry. You should try that cupcake, it's the best one they have here." She said, pointing at the cupcake she brought to the table, the same on she also has.
I frowned, noticing how she tried to change the subject. "What? No, I can't let you do that, Ms. Harkness-" I was cut off when she spoke so suddenly, putting down her own cup, flatting her hands beside it, almost close to my hand.
"Agatha. It's fine, really. Don't worry about it." She smiled at me, leaving no room for an argument but I kept staring at her, confused but feeling a certain coil in my stomach.
As soon as we walked inside, I noticed how her hands stayed around my back, and with so much persistence from her, I let her hold my bag as we walked through the busy highway of the big city of Westview. She told me to find is a seat while she ordered for the both of us, not even giving me my bag as she did so. Keeping it in her hold.
"I thought you said you guys keep the professionalism around?" Settling back on my seat, I look at her, my eyes narrowing as I do so.
I noticed how her tounge pushed on the side of her inner cheek, a smirk visible in her face as she tempted what to tell me. Sipping on my coffee to hide my sly smile which I doubt she couldn't see.
"Did I say it applies to the boss?" She replied.
I rolled my eyes at her, regretting it as soon as I did it and I watched her face as I pursed my lips, not knowing whether to laugh at my own stupidity or start saying sorry. "Did you just rolled your eyes at me?" Playfulness was lacing through her voice, but it didn't stop the way my heart started beating so loudly inside my chest.
Not knowing if it's because of the action I made or the way she was looking at me.
"Sorry-" Cutting myself off with a short airy giggle as I put a hand overy mouth to stop myself, only for her to grin more widely at me while raising her eyebrows in what I hope is an expression of amusement. "I didn't- sorry, I didn't mean to, I'm really sorry." I rambled, it stopped as soon as her hands went clasped with mine, encasing it with her bigger hand.
"It's fine, Y/n. Careful though, I might give you something more interesting to roll your eyes on." Words seemed to got caught up in my throat as I look at her with eyebrows blown and cheeks flushed.
"S-sorry?" She only laughed, pulling away but leaned into the desk, our face would touch if I were to do the same.
God, since when did they started making such small tables like this.
"I would like to know more about you." There was a moment of silence, not knowing what to say as I look at her like a deer in headlights.
"There's... not much to know about me." Shrugging, I held the cup with both of my hands, grateful for the warmth it brings to me. Looking away, her gaze felt like it was burning holes into mine.
"You said in your application you're interested in English literature? Tell me was it Charlotte Bront, Jane Austen or Thomas Hardy, who made you fall in love with literature?" She asked, as if it was the most interesting thing in the world, once again, I found myself answering.
"Hardy." I replied, my shoulder finally becoming less tense.
"I would've guessed Jane Austen." Shrugging she soft lips turned up a little before taking a sip of her coffee. "What are your plans for after you graduate?" She rounded with another question.
"I'm just trying to get through my finals." I answered truthfully, finally getting more comfortable.
"And then?" Warmth spread through my whole body, hearing her asked so fondly, gentleness visible in her voice.
"Well..." Leaning towards the table where I put an elbow on and used it as a stand as I put my head on my hand. "I really love working, so I'll find a permanent work that fits me well. I would like to take masters also, but I know that would cost me much, I'll probably just... work and save up for it." I rambled, her eyes stayed on me, almost making me feel conscious with how much attention she seemed to be giving me.
"Well, you'll be working in my company, you can always continue if you want." She offered as if she was just letting me sleep in her office.
Frowning, I almost let out a giggle, finding her ridiculous. "I wouldn't fit in there..." I started, almost regretting it with the look she gave me, frowning so deep as her eyes seemed to be shooting lasers into my whole face.
"I wasn't even really expecting that... you'll take me in." I confessed, looking down at my latte, not knowing what to do with how she was looking at me as if I just offended her in so many ways, as if I just robbed her of millions. "I mean, look at me..." Looking back up as I moved my shoulders, smiling as I try to lift up the mood that seemed to gloom.
"I am." She said, with voice so low as if it was only for my ears to hear.
Now, her eyes holding a certain look I couldn't seem to fathom as her gaze soften, making it more comfortable for me too look back in the. Never did I once wished to see or hear what the others thought of until now.
"I bet you $20, she's interested in you!"
"Miya, stop. That's impossible."
"Doesn't mean it can't happen. I mean, look! She just gifted you a laptop! You haven't even started working for her and what? She bough you a laptop just because she wants you to answer the application?"
"Miya, I swear to god. You're over exaggerating everything right now. Do you see me? We're so... far from each other."
"Hmmm, whatever, the deal still stands, just wait for it."
I was snapped out of the memory I recalled with Miya the night before, mentally cursing myself for even remembering that much. God, don't get my hopes too high.
"So... you're romantic?" She suddenly asked, ignoring how we just satred at each other for several minutes that felt like hours, and did I just noticed how blue her eyes were.
Clearing my throat, I answered. "I grew up with my Mom, she's an incurable romantic. Guess I got it from her..." Giggling, I rolled my eyes at the thought. "Though, I never really... explored that much." I added, coyly smiling up at her.
There was an expression that caught in her face for a moment, I almost didn't catch it but the gleam in her face was gone, momentarily before she smiled. A smile that seemed forced, but I took a bite of the cupcake, not minding too much about it.
Moaning at the taste, I look back at her, only to find her gazing at my lips with her own that is gaping a little. "God, you're right! This is so good." I expressed.
"I'll walk you out." Stopping mid bite, I gaze at her confusedly before my head followed the way she stood up abruptly, so I followed, almost running as I tried to catch up to her.
Her sudden action brought so much confusion inside my head, my heart started beating loud as I called out her name.
"Agatha." I called out for the third time, only then she turned back to me, almost hesitant to do so.
"You should steer clear of me." She said out of nowhere, looking down me. The weather seemed to be getting more colder at each passing moment.
"What does that even mean? What happened? Did I said something-" I started rambling, getting nervous at the distant look she's giving be, but still looking straight to my eyes, betraying what she was trying to show.
"Do you even deal with girls?" She asked. I didn't know if it was for me or for herself.
"What? I don't- I don't understand. I-" Suddenly both of her hands was wrapped around me when I attempted to follow her again, a sudden fear creeping up inside me at the thought of disappointing her in anyway.
"Watch it!" She yelled with sudden dominance that I almost cowered, the bike that passed through us, which almost collided with me stopped and started apologizing.
"Dickhead, fuck people these days!" She said, and my hand immediately went to her biceps, holding onto her as if I feared she would do something. And I did.
Her head snapped to me, and I looked up at her with eyes that pleaded for her to no do anything. Once again, something crossed her eyes as her face relaxed. Our face are so close to each other that I could feel her breath fanning ever so slightly on my face while her arms stayed connected around my waist protectively.
Her mouth agaped as her eyes stared into my lips. Before I knew it, she was pulling away from me and backed away a little. "I'll see you at work, Ms. Y/l/n." With that, she was gone, leaving me with an empty feeling floating around my chest.
So much for filling me in about work.
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2nd Person's POV:
Monday. You started working for them. Grateful for the asynchronous class schedule you have at the University, the same one that—suprisingly, your boss owns. This week, is your turn to do modules and online classes in the morning, while next week is face to face. It goes on like that.
You didn't even bother eating breakfast, not even taking medicine for the cold you might have caught last night, only focusing on dressing well. Not for anyone, of course, just... for yourself... to fit in.
Wanda Maximoff, the kind person that she is, filled you in with everything that your boss might have forgotten last week. The same boss who sent you that new book of your favorite author in hardcopies and first editions.
As much as it frustrates you to receive such treatment towards her—confuses you, even. You couldn't help but think about her when the night rolls on and the moon's light seeped through your curtains.
Everything around you seemed to be in order, the people, no mess around, you almost thought that you might be the only trash left in the room. You haven't seen this part of the building, but it seems like this is where most of the works are done.
Receiving a lot of good expressions and comforting welcome was not what you expected, but grateful to have received them. But, still, nothing could calm the nerves from seeing the same pair of blue eyes that hunted you in the middle of your sleep.
Maybe, you'd be more lucky today and won't cross paths with her, you thought.
But, as everyone stood up straight, facing the same door you went in earlier, the sound of chairs squeeking and rolling on the floor, you did the same. Remembering what Wanda told you earlier.
"Ms. Harkness often walk pass this room to get to her office. To check the people and all. The guys would consider themselves lucky if Agatha is lazy enough to walk through here."
Of course, since when did luck stuck with you.
As soon as the door opened and a tall figure clad in a dark colored suit came out, a wave of greetings came showered the atmosphere. But, all you could seem to muster is a mumble as you stared at the woman, not sure if you wanted to hide or get her attention on you.
As walked throught the hallway, picking conversation with people, criticizing their works and almost scolding some. It seemed to be years but the people around you started getting back to work, sitting in their designated seats and stalls and continuing what they were doing.
As you were about to do the same, your name was called. Only then did you remembered that you'll be returning something from her.
Turning and looking up, the first you noticed was the visible smirk on her face, it wasn't there when she came in. You almost thought that it was reserved for only you.
"Ahhh, Y/n." So much for professionalism around her.
"Y/l/n. Good morning, Ms. Harkness." You didn't even know where that courage came from. You felt pair of eyes from the people that are near you looking at you, but you couldn't turn away from her gazing ones. You felt glued.
"Hmm..." Her eyes circled your stall, narrowing with meaning behind that you couldn't seem to figure out what, then she smiled at you—mischievously. "Did Maximoff forgot to tell you that you're gonna be my assistant?—Personal Assistant." She asked, walking a little more towards you.
"She-..." You head curved a little to follow her eyes. "She did, Ms. H-Harkness." You stammered, almost cursing yourself mentally, wondering how pathetic you might've looked.
"Then, who told you you'll be working in this area?" She pushed even more.
"She... uhm... she did...?" You blurted out, not knowing what to do, almost fearing that you've done something wrong or missed something from earlier.
"Oh, so change of plans that I didn't know?" Agatha only received a confused coy glance from you, making her roll her eyes as she turned on her heels, ready to take off. "Bring your things and follow me in the office..." Looking at you one last time, she muttered. "Y/n."
As soon as she strides with lengths that would be considered as a jog to you, you scrambled and followed her, taking a mental note to check what you left later.
It was silent as she lead you to a couple of more hallways before a pair of big doors welcomed you—Agatha opening the door for you to come inside, making her almost roll her eyes with how her movements seemed to be automatic.
She could only hope that deep down nobody had seen that, not even from the security footage.
"Maximoff never told me that you'll be working for her or with her. Your little office back there? No use." You didn't know what to do as she moved with grace around the room, taking out her coat and putting it on one of the expensive looking racks next to the big doors.
As she talked, she moved to the cabinet that looked so fragile and beautiful. You thought she was going to get some water, but soon regretted it as you watch her pour an alcohol which you couldn't name over the glass. "You will be working for me and only with me." As soon as the her eyes was set on you, it felt like a glue once again as she walked passed you, leaving you in the middle of the room, clutching you bag as she took her seat on the big office table, where she was days ago.
"You are mine to work for. That means, you'll stay here." Her point finger bumped on her table.
"..." She watched as you looked around, confused gaze as your eyes wandered around while she sipped on her whiskey that she had caught you eyeing earlier but made no comments about. "Where exactly... Ms. Hakrness?" Looking back at her, you wished the ground would eat you or just randomly get thrown out of the building.
"Wherever you want, Y/n." Once again, she received the same questioning gaze, almost making her laugh—not even sure if it's because of how adorable you looked or how much it entertains her, maybe both, she couldn't find it in her to choose.
"Sit down, you'll get tired standing there all day." She demanded.
"But, there's... there's not an office table here other than... yours." Yoe hesitated as you carefully walk and took a seat in front of her.
"There's a comfortable sofa right there..." Her head pointed out to the sofa. Not something that workers should be working at, especially not in some kind of sacred company like hers. You made a face that almost looked offended... surprised? Agatha couldn't figure out but it made something in her flutter as her gaze soften, her smirk now less sharp.
"You could work right there, in that chair you're sitting on, or..." You head turned to look at her in question. "Here." Her head bent down to motion beneath her.
"That's not possible, Ms. Harkness. " Thinking that you got what she was pertaining she laughed, only for it to stop at the next word you said. "I won't be taking your seat from you, that's not... ethical." The look of amusement she gave you told you enough that you were wrong.
"That's one thing we could do, but I was talking about my lap, honey." She sipped on her whiskey as if what she said was a normal thing.
"That... that's even more inappropriate!" You couldn't help the high pitched tone you let out as you tried to hide your blush away.
Did your boss just offered you to sit on her lap to work? You'll be questioning your existence this day later, that's for sure.
"Not when I say so." Shrugging, she started opening her laptop. "Now, how about you fetch me some more ice and refill my drink?" She started, not even glancing at you, which took her almost all of her energy not to.
"That's... alcohol. You shouldn't drink alcohol this early morning, Ms. Harkness." Blurting out, Agatha couldn't help but stop what she was doing, looking up as she narrowed her eyes at the girl who immediately averted her gaze to the alcohol in front of the older woman. "It's not healthy... and definitely not good for you—especially in the morning."
"Hmmm, then what do you think I should drink?" Agatha asked, a certain softness and a playful tone in her voice. This is the first time she's had someone to tell her something like this. Not that anyone has ever tried to. Or will she let anyone try.
Something about one of the habits she's grown used to, even knowing how bad it is for her.
She immediately caught the younger girl's gaze. Something inside those pairs of eyes that seemed to calm the raging storm inside of Agatha. Her insides fluttered, immediately thinking that maybe it was the alcohol doing "bad" things in her stomach, but she knew better.
Standing up, Y/n smiled at Agatha, an idea coming up to her mind. "Let me bring you something good and healthy to drink then, Ms. Harkness." With that, she turned on her heels, ready to leave the room with a mission.
"What- Wait, no." Y/n's steps haltered as she turned to face the voice. For a moment, they were just looking at each other as Y/n waited on what her boss will say. "Here..." Taking out a black card, Agatha motioned for Y/n to take it. "Use this."
Looking at the card, Y/n looked back up at Agatha, "The coffee on my first day is one me, don't worry, Ms. Harkness. It's all I can pay for the treat you gave last time." Y/n explained, ready to turn on her heels but stopped when she saw Agatha started walking towards her.
"No. Take this. It's the company's card. Besides, you don't have to pay me back for everything that I gave you..." Agatha trailed off before a thought came running in her mind. "I mean, unless you give me those cookies again. I would accept those."
She could only remember how she devoured those box of cookies in just a day, only eating the thing from breakfast to dinner—the only cookies she'd pair with her whisker and wine.
"Uh... I-" Agatha took Y/n's hand, putting the card inside it before going back to her seat. Looking down at the card, Y/n read the name written on it. Agatha Harkness. "Ms. Harkness, I think it's not the company's card-" Y/n started, only to be cut off.
"Huh? What? No, I can't hear you, now go fetch me those healthy drinks you're saying and get yourself one too." Opening her mouth, but no words came out, leaving her to decide that it's finally time to leave and go get the food for her boss before Agatha could decide to cut her paycheck for the lack of time she's worked on at her first day.
"I'll get back quickly, Ms. Harkness, don't worry." The small soft voice piqued around the room, but Agatha's gaze stayed on the empty space on her computer.
"Hmm, that, you should." Whispering into the nothingness, Agatha's head turned to look at the door just in time as it shut close. Her mind whirling in her deepest thought, only thinking of the certain pair of eyes she'd gladly look at for forever.
And, into the air, she whispered.
"Flung out of space..."
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Author's Note: Ahhhhhh, I love this type of Agatha. A soft tease who's dark but softie for her girl (GIVE ME AN OLDER WOMAN LIKE THIS, PLS) I hope you guys liked this! And, Yes, that's a Carol reference at the end! ( ◜‿◝ )♡
#agatha harkness x fem!reader#agatha harkness x reader#agatha x reader#agatha all along#agatha harkness#CEO!Agatha Harkness x fem!reader
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The Doctor's Match
Synopsis: The Administrator has decided to finally give Medic some much needed help on the battlefield, despite the male insisting he doesn't need it. But what happens when the Mad doctor finally meets his match?..
Pairing(s): Medic x 10th Class! Reader focused Pairing Name?: Medical Malpractice (Medic/The Nurse), Length: 3.4k words
A/n: GUYS GUYS I HOPE YOU ENJOY THISSSS, I was inspired by some of my fellow writers who are writing fanfics where they make the reader a specific class!! (Speaking of which I HIGHLY suggest the Respawn Malfunction Fic by the lovely the-teufort-nine)
"Ach, I don't really need help Miss Pauling, vhile I appreciate zhe thought—"
Medic was caught off by Miss Pauling's sheepish grin and hand raise. "I know I know, but think about it. You'll have help with surgeries, everyone wouldn't be screaming your name on the battlefield.. unless you like that—"
Medic tapped his glove to his chin. While he didn't necessarily need the help, it would be a great assistance to not have hear everyone screaming "MEDIC" on the battlefield. And to have someone who was on his level, that thought just like him when it came to medicine and other scientific discovering's?
It didn't sound that bad.
But then again, what if this person could be just as annoying as his teammates? What if they didn't help him out as he thought they would? He couldn't risk that!
However, on the flip side...what if they are perfect? They help him on the battles field, they help him with studies that he wanted to conduct. They might even let him experiment on THEM!
He hummed and sighed before dropping his hands to his side.
"Fine, Fine. I vill accept zhis..'help'."
"Good! Cause she'll be here tomorrow!"
Medic didn't have time to process what Miss Pauling had said because she left so quickly, rambling off about finishing finalization before their newest member gets there.
"She?.." Medic trailed off before he left his office to go and join the others in the dining area. Dinner was just being prepared when Scout called out to Medic.
"Ayyeee Doc! You heard about that newbie we getting? Hope he can keep up wit ya!" The rambunctious Boston yelled and Medic only rolled his eyes as he took a seat.
"I can only hope zhat SHE can deal vith the daily stupidity zhat I deal vith each day." Medic corrects Scout and that draws attention from some of the others.
"Oh? So our new help is going to be a Woman?..I pray for her." Spy muttered as he takes a drag from his cigarette. "Wonder what made zhe little lady chose here?"
"Don't kno', but it's best we treat her wit' respect fellas, she could be mighty useful round here when Medic is busy." Engineer chimed in. "Best to have two docs than one."
"Da, Engineer is right. Little lady can make big difference in life or death in battle. We treat her like we treat Doctor." Heavy adds on making Medic nod along.
"Zhere should be nothing to vorry about~, she'll be trained under zhe best!" "That makes me worry even more, I hope she's not a nutcase like you are-" "Vhat vas zhat Scout?" "Nothin'! Nothin' at all doc…"
Medic huffed as he fixed his labcoat. "Zhat's vhat I thought." He muttered before he walked back to his lab. When he walked in, he already saw a second door already installed in his medbay, kinda of similar to the one that led to his private quarters. But it had a different medical like logo. ‘Zhey work fast..” he thought as he decided to go into his room.
He needed to prepare for the new guest coming tomorrow
The mercs were all sitting together after another successful day of kicking BLU ass.
Scout, Soldier, Demoman and Pyro were sitting together, Spy and Sniper were playing cards, Engineer was moving around some things in the kitchen and Heavy was with Medic at a separate table.
Soft humming could be heard coming down the Hallway, along with a suitcase being dragged behind light footsteps. The click of heels against the hard floor of the base echoed, they didn’t really pay any attention to the sounds assuming it was Miss Pauling bringing something that they needed to go over.
That was until they heard the voice.
"Hello there fellas~!"
The guys all lifted their heads to see a woman, dressed in long nurses dress with a pretty white apron over it. She had a matching logo patch to Medic's with a syringe over the cross, she wore pink gloves that went up to her elbows, her hair was neatly tucked back into a low bun with the nurses hat on. She had a big smile on her face as she walked further into the room drawing all attention to her.
"My name is Y/n, and I will be your new nurse around these parts~! Now could someone please kindly tell me who is your head Medical specialist.?"
Scout rolled his eyes before he allowed a sly smirk to come across his face. "I wouldn't call him a professional toots…but he's ova there wit the large guy."
The woman, Who they now know is Y/n, thanks Scout with a pretty smile that had the young male blushing already but Spy knocked him in the back of the head.
“Oi! What the hell was that for??” “You’re making googoo eyes at zhe new hire.” “What? She’s cute! Ow! Seriously man! That hurts! “Zhen stop being such an idiot.”
Medic and Heavy were engrossed in a conversation when Y/n walks up next to them and starts to introduce herself.
“Hello! I was told that one of you was the doctor here, I’m going to guess it’s you sir..” She says pointing to medic. Medic looked her up and down and his heart felt like it was doing tricks already.
She was…beautiful.
She was everything that he had imagined in his head last night. Her beauty, her kindness, and Medic could already tell that a little something…unhinged lay right beneath the surface.
Heavy had to nudge the male because he was just staring at the beauty in front of him. Medic quickly cleared his throat before giving a grin to her.
“Ah yes! Zhat vould be me! I am guessing jou are zhe nurse, yes?” He finally managed to get out, making the woman infront of him giggle as she sits down across from him.
“Yes that’s me! I’ve heard such good this about you! I can’t wait to work alongside you in the field!”
Medic nodded as he leaned on his hand as he listened to her ramble on about how much she loved nursing and how her experience on the field was sure to lighten his load and help him the best way that she could.
As she continued to speak, Medic just nodded along and occasionally added to the conversation. He was so focused on her, he was imagining the two of them in battle together, covering in the enemy teams blood. He couldn’t wait to do the uber heart surgery on her so he could see and feel her from the inside out…
“Medic.”
Oh how beautiful she would look beside him.
“Medic?”
Oh how beautiful she would look underneath him—
“MEDIC”
Medic jumped as he shook his head, Heavy shook his head as he looked at his fellow merc. “You spaced out, Little nurse said she was going to bed.” Heavy states and Medic sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck as he apologized to Y/n.
“Oh no no! You’re fine! I know you’re probably tired after this long day..” “Ja..The battle was very…tough.” Medic quickly says, making her giggle. “Oh well I'm not going to stop you, please go and get some rest for tomorrow!”
Y/n then backed away from the two males as she bowed and gave them a gentle wave. "Goodnight fellas! Can't wait to be beside you on the battlefield!" She happily exclaimed before she turned on her heel and left the room finally.
Once she left the room, Heavy looked over at Medic. “Medic is infatuated with little nurse.”
Medic looked at his friend and colleague, rapidly shaking his head. “Vhat? No! She’s just…really..amazing I guess. It’s rare to see someone as interested in the pursuit of science as I am!” He quickly says as he looked away from Heavy, pulling at his collar.
Heavy only chuckles as he pats Medic on his back. “You are terrible liar.”
Was all he said before he left Medic at the table alone to think. And of course, his mind went to the beautiful nurse that just graced their presence. He HAD to get to know her better.
He couldn’t just let her get away with messing with his head like this!
He will do it tomorrow! He would get to know her after working alongside her for the first time! After all, He had to know why a lovely lady like herself would come and work here and let alone be excited to work with someone like him…
Oh Boy, Did he quickly realize why he was so drawn to her.
She. Was. Crazy.
Once the Nurse set foot on the battlefield, that adorable and charming personality that she displayed to the others at dinner the other day was quickly replaced by a wicked bloodlust.
She was taking down the enemy teams left and right, assisting their teammates with a scary accuracy.
And she was smiling while doing it.
Her main weapon? A large syringe, one that he witnessed her stab and spear the enemy team, harvesting their blood and using it almost as some sort of wicked power source. He could've sworn that hearts formed in his eyes as he looked upon her on the battlefield. She didn’t care that she was getting blood on her at all, the way that it splattered across her clothes and she wore it with excited glee.
He was so busy day dreaming that He wasn’t paying attention, leaving him open for a backstab from the enemy Spy when he heard her call out to him.
“DOCTOR BEHIND YOU!” Medic didn’t have time to turn around before he saw the enemy spy...with a syringe needle through his back.
He stood back watching as his body turned to goop, and was collected by the Nurse, seeing it go into her own medivac.
“Are you alright? I followed the bastard after he tried to backstab, Engineer.” Y/n said to him as she offered her hand, helping Medic from the ground.
She holds his hand for a little bit as she checks over him, making sure that he wasn’t injured at all. She places her hand on his chest, making Medic jolt as she did it so suddenly. “Are you alright? Your heart is beating quite fast..”
Medic coughs into his hand before he backs away, nodding at her question. “Ja, I’m okay..Guess my heart rate is up after almost being backstabbed…”
Y/n gave him an eyebrow rise before she accepted his answer.
“Alright..if you say so. Then, Let’s go Doctor. I can hear our teammates screaming for us now.” Y/n turns to leave, expecting Medic to follow.
And follow he did, intrigued as he watched as she pressed a button on her MediVac, watching as she placed her syringe into a slot, and watched as the blood started to bubble and boil, turning into a molten weapon.
Y/n looked over her shoulder at him and gave him a wink before she ran off to go and cater to their injured teammates. Leaving him once again, speechless. He could feel a shiver trail down his spine as a smile broke out across his face.
“Mein..Gott..she's perfect…” He mumbled to himself.
He watched as Y/n reached over to Scout, shooting him with a syringe, the Bostonian yelled in pain before feeling a surging feeling. He suddenly cheered and gave Y/n a high five before running back into battle. Healing syringes, he remembered her talking about it briefly the night before.
She was so giddy and excited to have someone to ramble about her work, that Medic stayed nearly all night with her despite knowing that they had to be up the next morning. But that didn’t matter, seeing her happy, talking about a subject that most would squirm and ignore was all he needed.
God...was he falling in love with his colleague?! She had only been here for a few days, yet the bubbly and giddy nurse had managed to worm her way into his heart in less than a week.
Never has someone made him so weak in the knees whenever they would look his way.
Mein gott was he embarassing—
“ Medic! I need you!” “Coming Mein Nurse!~”
Y/n giggles as she shows off to Medic. Her main weapon, the syringe was used to collect samples, blood samples of the enemy and turn that into boiling liquid, almost like scalding water, giving the enemy team a burning and scalding effect that worked perfectly alongside Pyro.
She had a syringe Gun as well, filled with different syringes of various effects, some that could heal her teammates, some That could burn and melt the enemy skin, it all depended on who she aimed it at, as he saw earlier with her little display on Scout.
“Ahh..could you believe i almost lost my medical License because of this technology, I guess they didn't like me testing on murderers..” She mentioned sparking Medic's interest.
“Vait, jou made this yourself?” He asked and she nodded proudly. “Mhm! Did all the research Myself, I was a bio-chem major before I turned to nursing.” Y/n answered. “Took me a couple months to perfect, nearly burned a hole through my lab floor.
The two of them were walking together and just talking About previous experiments and things that they have done.
“Wait, you stole a skeleton?” “Several actually, it's how I lost my medical license.” Y/n giggled at that, before reaching for his hand. “You know, I could use mine, if..you ever needed..help,”
Medic froze a bit, her hand felt small in his as he grasped her hand, the two of them ended up facing each other.
“Jou..vould do zhat? For me?” “Of course~, Ya know , it's not everyday when you find someone who's so persistent in the pursuit of science like you.” “Oh really now?” “Yes really! It’s the least I could do for making you listen to my rambling about needles for two hours.”
Medic couldn't stop the smile that spread to his lips. “Jou know, I could listen to you read zhe most boring book in zhe vorld and I vould never get tired. “
It was Y/n’s turn to blush as she felt his hand come up to caress her blood soaked cheek. “Oh Medic..you’re just saying that..”
Medic chuckles and he was about to speak again when a loud yell broke through.
“Oi! Doc! Need some Help ova here! Could you stop makin’ googoo eyes wit the nurse!?”
Oh right, they were still in battle.
“Ve'll continue zhis later.” “We shall.”
The two of them readied their gear again as Y/n grasped his hand tightly turning to him with a smirk.
“Let’s go practice Medicine~” She says to him and Medic feels like his body was just lit on fire by pyro as a wolfish grin appears on his face.
When they would reach the enemy team, Y/n would signal to Medic that she was ready and he would nod to her before he would turn on his uber charge. He had only done the surgery on her yesterday, and while he was excited to see how it would work on a new host…
He hoped that it wouldn’t harm her.
Once he activated it Y/n jolted a bit before she started that boiling mass of liquid in her backpack. Medic watched as it was almost like she was spraying hot oil onto the enemy, They moved through the enemy, mowing them down like they were nothing but bugs underneath their feet.
...God did she look like a glowing red goddess...
The entire time Y/n was…laughing, giggling as she used her weapon on the enemy. Giddy as she saw how their bodies basically melted into nothing but BLU goo. It sent a shiver up his spine when she turned to him and gave him that award winning smile with a wink
He watched as the rest of their team came in to help capture the final point, most of them careful to step over or around the various piles of goo around the point.
The Uber charge wore off and Y/n squealed with glee before she ran up to Medic and grabbed his shoulders. “Oh my GOD that was AMAZING!!” She screamed with delight, once again catching Medic off guard.
“Ach..it vas nothing, it vas most—” Medic didn’t get to finish his sentence before he felt himself being dipped, and a pair of lips being pressed against his own.
Medic turned a bright red as his glasses fogged up. He felt light headed and when she finally let him up, they were declared the winners as they had successfully claimed the last point. When he regained himself, Y/n was standing infront of him with a big smile on her face as if she didn’t just KISS HIM.
“Did jou just–” “Yes i did. Would you like me to do it again?”
Medic looked back as he saw his teammates already heading back in, talks of celebrating and what they were going to eat in the air. Medic chuckles as he lifted the nurse into his arms.
“Ja, I vould…but if forgive me if i’m greedy and vant more~”
Now it was Y/n’s turn to blush as Medic carried her back inside to continue their own little form of celebration for winning.
“Man, I don't know if it's a blessin’ or a curse we got that nurse!”
Scout groaned as he knocked back a bonk! Atomic Punch, Engineer, who was playing cards with Demo and Soldier, tilts his head.
“What makes ya say that boy? I think it's great the Doc has himself A lovely lady that can keep up with him.” He chuckles as he turned back to the card game, watching as Scout took a seat with them.
“That's the problem! They are both nuts! I overheard them talking about doing surgery on each otha’ to put their hearts in each otha's body! That's weird!”
“Well, Son, that might just be their form of love-” “Then i pray dat form of love neva finds me!"
Engineer laughs as Demoman pats His back. “Aye lad, are ya still mad that the doc almost let you die because he was flirtin’?
“No! I'm just sayin’! They are weird!” “He's definitely still upset!” “I agree with Engineer!” “Course ya do Soldier! You prolly don't even know what we're talking about!”
Y/n and Medic were definitely closer after that battle, they were wrapped around each other's fingers. Always around each other.
When they had mission debriefing, she was sitting in his lap.
When it was time for their checkups? They were definitely giving PDA.
Speaking of which, the duo walked past them heading to the door.
Scout groaned in frustration before he looked up seeing Medic walking with Y/n. “And where are yall headin’ Out to? Ain't dinner about to start?”
Y/n smiles as she hugs Medic's arm. “Luddy has prepared a picnic for us~! We're going outside to enjoy each other's company, and talk about medical stuff~”
Medic nuzzled her forehead. “Ja, mein liebling and i vill be busy for the rest of the night, so please don't have any medical emergencies, jou might not like what you walk into.”
The duo laughs together as Medic leads her outside, opening the door and closing it behind them, leaving their coworkers To go back to what they were doing.
“Ugh..disgusting!” “Sounds like you're jealous sonny.” “How!? Jealous of what?” “Affirmative! Sounds like you are jealous that he has a proud American woman!” “Is she even bloody american?” “Course she is! That woman is a pure blooded American soldier!”
The four men ended up bickering about this, while Heavy who was coming from the kitchen quickly interjected.
“Lets just be happy Doctor has met match.” He started. “Means no more experimenting on us when he has a willing participant. She is perfect for him. Just a crazy as doctor.”
The others went quiet and Scout, the main one who was making a fuss crossed his arms. “I guess tons of fun ova’ here is right.”
Heavy rolled his eyes at Scout before taking a seat. “Deal me in. Besides. Tomorrow is ceasefire. Doctor is gonna be busy with little nurse.”
“What do ya mean by dat?” “I think you know what I mean.” “You could've jus’ Left us in the dark with that info Son.” “if I had to suffer listening to doctor ramble about it, you do too.” "NONSENSE THEY ARE JUST DISCUSSING BATTLE STRATEGIES" "Yea if strategies included fucki- OW WHERE IN THE HELL DID YOU COME FROM YA SPOOK!?" "I've been here zhe entire time, could you all please just deal zhe cards and not talk about what our doctors are doing."
GAHHH FINALLYYY ITS DONNNEEE
I plan on writing more with them, so be prepared for more Medical Malpractice— but until then, please be safe and take care of yourselves!
#tf2 fandom#tf2 fanfiction#tf2 x reader#tf2 fanfic#team fortress 2#tf2#team fortress 2 x reader#team fortress 2 imagines#medic tf2#tf2 medic#medic x reader#medic team fortress 2#tf2 medic x reader
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౨ৎ to my beloved ── p. jongseong ⟢ teaser
SYNOPSIS . . . Moon Yn daughter of a notorious Duke who is said to be one of the Emperor's most loyal aides is married off to Archduke Park Jay. Their marriage soon became the talk of the country. Everyone adored the joining of Yn, daughter of Duke Moon and the Emperor's eldest son Jay. Two people the Emperor cherished very deeply. Unaware of Duke Moon's true intentions, he desired the throne the Emperor sat on. Using his own daughter as a means of infiltration he marries her off to Jay. Yn being shackled down to her father listened to everything he told her to do. Eventually when the day came for the overthrowing of the Emperor's throne Yn dies before ever knowing who truly won in the end.
OR
IN WHICH . . . Yn is sent back in time to before she married Jay, before her father started preparations to overthrow the Emperor, before everything was lost. Finally having a second chance to save the people most dear to her. Yn won't let her father control her as he pleases this time. For Yn will make her own decisions despite the unforeseeable future. With this second chance she'll marry Jay with the intentions of helping him without the control of her father. ⌇WORD COUNT . . . 382 ⌇
.ᐟ PAIRING . . . archduke!jay x archduchess fem!reader
.ᐟ GENRES . . . oneshot histrorical au, time travel trope, enemies to lovers (if you squint your eyes hard enough), magic/magical beings are a thing, contract marriage, she fell first he fell harder, angst, yn was a villainess in her past life (???)
.ᐟ WARNINGS . . . yn unalives herself (in the beginning), family abuse (all from the father), heavy descriptions of certain topics, detailed scenes with physical touch
.ᐟ STARRING . . . enhypen (all members) ive (liz) nct (chenle + mark) aespa (giselle) + possible mentions of other idols
•
꒰ evie's note : so i cooked up this snippet an hour or so ago. posting this fic teaser to test the waters in a way cause i only have a smau being posted at the moment. i've also been itching to write write something and it's been a hot minute since i've gotten my creative brain juices flowing as well. back into reading manhwas again so if this reminds you of any of those, yes. and yes it's about jay again IM SORRY i miss my pookie bear angel can yall blame me :( also if i finish this within a timely manner i wanna have it out before the end of next week tbh. really hoping i'm able to do this fic justice for yall. but alas enjoy the tiny bit of what my brain cooked up. ꒱
taglist ( open! send a ask/comment to be added ) . . . @shinkenprincess-oh
perm. taglist ( open! send a ask/comment to be added ) . . . @ikeulove @leehsngs @nickiminajleftasscheek
YN POV .
My eyes blink open to see the view of an all too familiar ceiling above myself. It was the same cream colored ceiling that belonged in my bedroom in the manor at the Moon duchy. Slowly sitting up my eyes scanned my surroundings. It was exactly as I had remembered the room, the sitting area for when guests were over. The windowsill where I had often read books to pass time through the day. The tall walls decorated with intricate designs only a Duke could afford for a singular room. Thing was the last time I had been in this room was before I left for the Park duchy. When I left to get married to Duke Jay. My mind was a mess of memories as it all dawned on me.
I remembered the blazing fire as I ran through the trees in the forest next to the Park duchy. I could recall the stinging pain as the branches scratched and tore at the skin of my arms. Then the feeling of my legs numbing as I sprinted in the heavy dress that was tailored for a archduchess to wear. My head ached as everything came back to me. Remembering the sound of the knights corning me in the forest, shouting how I needed to go with them. Jay wanted me alive, but I knew it was all a lie. My father had started a coup d’état, he always craved for the higher power in the aristocracy. Being granted a duke title while not being related to the royal family simply wasn’t enough for him. So he sought out higher power, the throne of the Emperor. Jay was one of the Emperor’s sons, there was a feeling in me. Jay wouldn’t stand for his wife being the daughter of the man who wanted to take his father’s throne as well as his life. If the knights captured me to take me to Jay he for sure would have killed me with his own hands. With no other choice I took my life. In hopes that there would be one last thing I had control over before I died. It was laughable at how in the end I only had control over how I got to die and who got to kill me.
©myjjongie 2025
#myjjongie#evie's writings ੭⭑.ᐟ#enhypen#enhypen writers#enha x reader#enhypen jay x reader#enhypen x reader#enhypen fanfics#enhypen fanfiction#enhypen au#enhypen jay#jay enhypen#kpop fanfic#enha#enha jay#enha jay x reader#enhypen ff#enhypen jay fanfic#enhypen jay ff#enhypen oneshots#enha oneshot#enhypen oneshot#enhypen jay oneshot#enha jay oneshot
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it's different this time, there's water liner notes
fic here if you haven't read it!
the original title for this fic was the (possibly) last summer, from this margaret atwood poem. this has been true for a couple months, since it was just a fic idea that i probably wasn't going to write. i was so excited for it! i love They are hostile nations & i haven't gotten to use it for a fic title yet! and i Do still very much recommend it both qua poem and as a pairing for this fic
(i got the fic idea after the first vitalasy stream on s6; it changed from "fic idea i probably won't write" to "yeah okay i need to write this" after the second one)
but then i was struggling with Writing Happy Things and batting around ideas of what specifically they're doing in the fic and got the idea for a Funnest Room Competition Take Two, and soooo recently i had been thinking and talking about the vitalasy & zam conversation i transcribed, where zam is convincing vitalasy to come down a 1x1 hole and vitalasy mentions the moment from s4 where zam jumped down a similar 1x1 in order to kill herself on dripstone and vitalasy followed immediately and died as well, and zam says It’s different this time, there’s water and I’m down here. the way that this is a physical representation of the ways it's different: in s4, when zam wanted to prove her love to vitalasy, she killed herself, in a microcosm of so many of the problems in their relationship. in s6, she tries to recreate something that vitalasy loved. it's safe; there's nothing there to kill herself or anyone else. you can't take fall damage or die on dripstone. there's water. and-- in the original Funnest Room, vitalasy's room had a secret entrance which led to a room with a lectern. the room with the lectern (and what was hidden behind the lectern) is, i think, familiar enough to all eclipse fans that i don't need to belabor the point too much, but it's a similar concept: making their base again, but it's different this time. no dripstone, no secret passages. they're trying again, but this time they're doing it without the problems that tear them apart. so. new title
btw have new fans seen the OG funnest rooms. they're so incredibly ugly. i love them so dearly. look at these and know that they all three have even more details that i couldn't get in the screenshot, such as "an end crystal" and "concrete powder being repeatedly shot up and then falling back down"
look at them. aren't they wonderful. anyway back to the fic
i...sort of considered either "zam-and-subz conversation about eclipse" or "zam coming out" having more of a presence. but it was never more than sort of; i was pretty solid early on that i didn't want this to be a reconciliation fic, i wanted it to be a post-reconciliation "tentatively learning to love each other again" fic. all the big dramatic moments are in the past. now: a moment of happiness, together.
something i wanted to make clear is that it's a very temporary moment of happiness. vitalasy is only on the server for very short periods of time. zam and subz have other plotlines and alliances going on (or, in subz's case, lifesteal public) that they can't & don't want to drop. the server itself is going to end. but....it's still real? and what it symbolizes in their relationship, that they're repairing it and getting closer as friends again, is going to keep being real.
the idea to intersperse some of the most painful moments of s4 is one i went back and forth on a bit but eventually decided in favor. they have a lot of very genuinely hurtful history that is sort of coloring every interaction. in the present day, they're able to move forward from it, but it's not...small? it was really bad, they all hurt each other a lot.
related to moving forward. something i said on discord about this fic: "i have written two Not A Fix-Its that do canon divergence from s4. i have broadly maintained my stance that they are doomed from the moment they got together & you cannot fix them. but it turns out that you can fix them and the way to fix them is by going forward instead of backwards."
uhhhhh i'm not sure how obvious this is but all three of them are sort of on high alert trying to Be Careful and Manage everything so everyone stays happy and nothing explodes horrifically. this is most obvious from vitalasy bc he's the one whose pov we're in but rest assured: zam and subz are doing it too. this will get better with time as they get used to each other & nothing continues to happen.
which: i do think that in fact it will not explode horrifically! not only have all of them grown as people since s4, there's also a thing of... eclipse federation only went as bad as it did in s4 because their long-term season goals were fundamentally opposed and vitalasy had important reasons that he could not tell zam the full truth about things. neither vitalasy nor subz have long-term season goals in s6; none of them have material reasons to lie to each other or keep secrets. i think they'll be fine.
change vs staying the same is another big thing. subz isn't a builder anymore, zam is. zam's a girl. but also there's the same hammock, the same familiar friendship. the things that are the same, the things that are different. once again this ties into the title & where it came from & why it applies to the fic.
uhhhhh zam gives subz slime blocks bc they were the walls of subz's funnest room. what zam may not know is that they were ALSO the walls of the post-s4 vitalasy&subz house. anyway that's a thing
vitalasy's cat isn't referred to by name because its name is vitalapuss and vitalasy is a PG streamer who tends to avoid the name. sorry vitalasy.
vitalasy smiles a LOT in this fic and there are two references to vitalasy's face hurting from smiling. this is because i watch vitalasy pov when he streams on s6 and when he puts on facecam he is ALWAYS smiling so so so big and occasionally mentioning how his face hurts from smiling so much. lifesteal makes him happy 🥺 (this in turn makes me happy)
similarly: vitalasy cubito often spins when Particularly happy and i so rarely get to include this bc i usually write vitalasy miserable. but he gets to spin here!!!
behind the scenes fact: i wrote the entire first draft of this fic a week ago in a single 6-hour sitting, from 11pm to 5am, while incredibly sick and off-and-on feverish. and then a week later (today) i did a bit of vod review, did 50 words of edits, and posted it. halfway through writing the first draft vitalasy tweeted that he was going to upload again accompanied by a gif of eclipse federation. i take nothing but Ws forever
discord message by me at 3am: "i cant believe he did this. he Heard me writing eclipse federation happy ending and was like Not to worry. i will make this real for you"
also i mentioned this earlier but i struggle SO MUCH with writing happy things. i'm proud of myself for both this fic and my previous one (memory foam, the tgcf fic, not the previous lifesteal fic) for being happier than my usual? in both of those fics there's still very much The Past Horrors but i'm expanding my repertoire! and from the reaction i think i did a good job of it ^w^
for eclipse fed particularly though there's also a thing of.... the reason i didn't see myself writing happy things for them wasn't just bc i'm bad at writing happy things, it's also bc they were doomed when they were together and incredibly unhappy when they fell apart and i couldn't imagine a path from where they started to a happy ending. certainly not in s4, and s5 didn't really give me hope there, either, with zam refusing to talk to vitalasy about the previous season, and then with subz and vitalasy both banning themselves off the server and quitting content creation (cutting off the possibility of any future reconciliation or even further interaction within the context of the lore). and then, well, s6 happened. vitalasy and subz are back; vitalasy and zam had a genuine conversation about s4 which went better than i could have imagined. this happy ending hasn't happened for them, and it may never, but i have genuine hope for them and the future of their relationship on lifesteal in a way i never have before, even when they were together the first time. i'm-- genuinely, truly so glad to have been wrong.
#therapists dni#any british ants in the chat?#my writing#i'm not getting too into the ooc side of things here--i sort of brush by it a couple times--but i've got a couple thoughts there as well#which could have been two bullet points except. well. not getting into it here!#feel free to ask me abt it on discord if you have my discord tho and i will happily ramble more parasocially
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Source: Pastra (Pastra Stream)
#susie haltmann#magolor#sailor waddle dee#kirby#susanna patrya haltmann#magolor kirby#sailor dee#kirby kirby#kirby susie#susie kirby#kirby magolor#sailor kirby#kirby sailor#sailsie#sailorsusie#susiesailor#sailor waddle dee x susie haltmann#susie haltmann x sailor waddle dee#kirby games#kirby franchise#kirby series#kirby fandom#kirby fanart#incorrect quotes#maxxie's doodles#maxxie talks#i really need to write a fic for these two one of these days...
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horror is so BLESSED he's the only one out of the murder time trio that has actual good people trying to influence his story 💔💔 dust and killer were both driven to INSANITY because of the choices of their respective humans but horror??? every time without FAIL the polls for horrortale's plotline have always ended in a good place for aliza (either by bettering her relationships/reputation or for her to just. not DIE)
horrortale's potential alternate timelines my beLOVEd🙏🙏 they're SO lucky that we're being kind and benevolent hehe (≧ω≦) now where are the aus based off the possible different outcomes that could've happened in horrortale HUH???? (like how aliza couldve killed toriel or chosen horror's puzzle or gone with undyne to the core........)
#something something all three of them have their fates determined by an outside force#ermmmm but horror doesn't- yeah he does. what aliza does decides EVERYTHING for horror and horrortale#just because its not direct like dust or killer doesn't mean theyre all subject to the same community x3#PARALLELS MTT PARALLELS FOR THE 500TH TIME THEY HAVE SOOOO MANY PARALLELS OHHH MY GOOOOOODDDDDD#mtt going to visit horrortale would just be dust eying aliza (out of paranoia. he knows shes a good kid)#and then killer knowing in his head that the poor kid aliza that horror weirdly seems to like doesn't have control over her actions#she doesn't know horror doesn't know nobody knows except killer. is that a bit sad?#theyre all living in the dark unaware of the reality of their world. i mean thats how its meant to be after all thats what the players want#but....... it would be tempting to tell horror...... hehehehehe- and then he's interrupted by horror and dust#(theyre trying to get killer to eat papyrus's spaghetti in their place. he's the only one that can stomach it even though there's no human)#mtt i love thee SOOOOO much. theyre back in horrortale for the holidays ✨✨ coming back to visit the family ✨✨ WHAT horror's visiting.......#not dust or killer of course. this isnt their world noooope thats not papyrus. but that doesn't stop dust from having everyone like him#its just like the good old days :333 except now there's three sanses and triple the insanity :333 almost like nothing's changed!!!!!#oh killer??? yeah he's there. probably won't try taking up the sansish type of role horror and dust do but he'll find a way to get used 2 i#after all the point of this is whatever he wants it to be now ;33333 were these tags all just a reference to my mtt fic. yes. yes they were#LMAOOOO i forgot that aliza didn't fall into horrortale yet in my fic. still a fun thing to imagine tho!!!#i think it would be fun having aliza be the first of humans for horrortale to deal with that they won't instantly kill#itll be hard but really rewarding for all of them........ especially horror i believe!!! man he didnt even go through therapy but#just being away from horrortale and out doing new and FUN and NOT MURDEROUS things has done wonders for him :3#i need to get to writing smh..... winter break is the day after tomorrow (TECHNICALLY AT 2:32 PM SINCE THSYS WHEN SCHOOL ENDS SO HAHAHA)#so ill probably work on it more over break since i'll have nothing to do hehe.......#today was an amazing day for me ✨ TWO mtt angst death related hcs..... some work on my latest chapter i've yet to post..... SWAPINVERSE FAN#ARE YOU KIDDING ME MORR SWAPINVERSE ART THIS IS SOOOO AMAZING THABK YOU UNTITLED29876011111 I DONT EVEN KNOW WHY YOU DO THIS!!!!!#tricule rant#killer sans#dust sans#horror sans#murder time trio#utmv#sans au
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i wish it wasn't so normal for people to complain about unfinished wips or fics that take a long time to update. because sometimes i think i have a really fun idea for a fic but it'd take a while for me to write, and i like talking about my work as i do it and i don't like writing entire fics over like 20k without sharing, because i lose steam. so if i were to write and post that cool fic idea, it'd be as a wip. and then i think about all the people who just refuse to engage with wips, or all the other people who would just go "update pls" all the time, and of how people only really comment in the first 24 hours something is posted and then it's lost to obscurity, and then i just go "actually whats the point in going through the effort writing this out? i'll just daydream about it now and then and be done with it." and then i don't write it. alas!
#rimi talks#shoutout to that one person who followed me from resi fandom and commented on one of my dc fics like ''pls update that resi fic''#also shoutout to all those tumblr posts about how theres nOthInG wOrSe than finding a GoOd FiC but its uNFiNIsHeD#i used to really like writing longfic but these days i kind of shy away from it bc it rly does get discouraging#like they say ''write for yourself'' and i do but i certainly dont share just for my own satisfaction yk???#anyways. i already have space fic and theres no need for me to start another fic. even if it would be fun.#ive also just been in a Mood about writing since yesterday and thats not helping matters 😔#but it feels like a stupid thing to be in A Mood about. idk. whatever jdlksk hopefully itll pass and ill be normal tomorrow :/#bc talking to duck earlier today we came up with a really fun mermay fic premise. but. writing? me? multichap again? lol. lmao even#like i would love to!!!!!! having two ongoing multichaps wouldnt kill me i like to pingpong between wips#but dealing with people whining about update times or telling me they refuse to read bc its a wip...... dunno if i can do that again fellas#okay. enough woes and whining. i guess i will go play a video game
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so. A year or two back I remember seeing a post talking about how mayor Oswald was based off Donald trump when he was being written and since I don’t want to rely on hearsay I looked it up and yup it’s real. Look here
I have…multiple problems with this when it comes to this source of inspiration for Oswald. I have around four or five, but the last one or two are long enough to be its own paragraph so let’s start with the first three. The first three are honestly just the first point if I’m being honest lol.
First off, Oswald is a Gay, gender non conforming man who used to be poor. All of these things make him have a different feel to him demonizing the marginalized than someone like trump, famous womanizer and said “small loan of a million dollars”, doing it. It doesn’t feel the same at all, you’re going to have to put more emphasis on the similarities between them besides that demonization and make ____ great again shit to make it land. You would need to and they just don’t ever do that in the show.
also Gotham the reason why what trump did with his generalization and demonization of minorities is bad is because people in those communities are fucking evil to their cores! That’s literally all we see of Hugo strange’s arkham experiments, so by trying to draw this connection to the demonization of them and actual minorities, you’re going to have to write them in a more complex manner, which Gotham doesn’t. Overall this writing choice of inspiration desperately needed this arc to be longer, to have Oswald’s demonization of the outcasts to have serious repercussions and consequences. But it doesn’t, it never does, the show doesn’t even bother to humanize the people they’re using as a vague allegory for what happens in real life. It’s so fucking stupid, this would need a great deal of moral ambiguity but no, the most the Arkham experiments get is at most one scene humanizing them as a whole to my memory of the show.
I’m not saying this as I wish Gotham made Oswald one to one with Donald trump, I’m not and don’t take this post as that. What I’m saying is if you want to make commentary on bigotry, you’re going to have to humanize the outsider group in question, which Gotham doesn’t do because of how much buildup that would take. Oswald doesn’t hold actual disgust for minorities when it comes to his bigotry (though he probably holds some for the poor. Don’t fucking tomato me). His brand of bigotry is more opportunistic to me, seeing the fact people are hating the out group and catering to that in order to get success.
We could’ve genuinely gotten to see a gender non conforming gay man who used to be poor use the same tactics hurled against him throughout his life against a new marginalized group and all the baggage that comes with that. But since the Gotham writers commit to nothing, they didn’t do that since it would require too much work to explore that. It just sucks, it would’ve been so cool to see something that happens in real life so often politically be in this show but it never was since the writers didn’t know how to convey that. It would’ve been fantastic and a great display on how his greed and need for praise hurts other people, but we never got to truly see that, did we?
#rambles#gotham#gotham fox#gotham 2014#oswald cobblepot#Btw idc if the writers or actors say Oswald isn’t gay that’s not in the show so I’m not going to discuss their fucking head canons#I’ve already dealt with that shit enough from fucking Hazbin hotel I won’t do it again never never neverrrrr if you want me to see that put#it in your fucking art then. This entire rant is basically jus that since the writers never really explored this besides two fucking hints#character analysis#rant#idk how to tag this post tbh#character study#Tbh I hope when I’m at least done with men like Edward nygma fic and halfway done with adotn I’ll be able to write a fic exploring this#I need to see this arc play out so badly it’s insane. If Gotham won’t write it then I will have to one day. Too unskilled rn though so I’ll#write it later#Ugh
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Every once in a while I think about the ship I've been obsessed over for close to two years now and feel like I'm ascending to another plane of reality. Like sometimes you just encounter a ship that hits every single mark and is perfect in every regard and you're left stunned how something like that can even exist
#Anyways I'mma put the actual inane ramblings in the tags#Medic and Engie make me so ill every time I think about them for a while I feel like tearing into things and biting people and throwing up#How something like that can exist completely defies me#I don't know how something that perfect can exist#I'm typically a multi-shipper and while I still kinda am I honest to god don't really care to write other ships#Not cause they ain't good (they are pretty damn good) but because Engiemedic is just on another level#Like dammnnn!! that's why I've spent so long writing a fic about them!#I can't fathom it honestly how characters like that can exist#They're like a slightly warped reflection of themselves#They're both intelligent mentally ill lunatics with no morals whatsoever#The only thing is that Engie is marginally better at hiding it#If you go into headcanon territory than WHOO!! OHH DAMNNN#Like what gets me the most about Engiemedic is how they're so similar#They think and exist on the same wavelength#In tune with each other. Their neurons braided like wires#If I start talking about how the machine and the flesh are not opposites but rather one in the same we gonna be here all day#I just can't...believe the ship exists#Like man how does this happen#You want humour? Goofy wacky experiments and silliness of them violating several conventions#You want angst? Hell yeah they've got plenty of it#Fluff? Buddy I start wailing and sobbing if they accidentally brush hands while working on stuff#I could write about them for ages and not get bored they can fit in every circumstance#They make me SICK they make me CRAZY I love them so so much#They would do anything for each other#I look at what they have and I can feel like I understand what love is#I need to write more oneshots and minifics about them they're so flexiable and fun#Can't wait to do parallels with them in these upcoming chapters#Either way GODDDDD I love these two so much I could go on for hours about them#especially if I'm allowed to talk about headcanons#sp-rambles
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There's so much I want to write and so much I want to read, but I can't fully engage with much of anything right now and it's killing me😭
#so many fic ideas! i thought about a zuri x farah one with zuri doing her hair#and them talking about their experiences regarding their hair and how its perceived#i wrote my general thoughts down on it and it would be !!!#so interesting!!#(especially since things concerning race aren't really... there in game ig - and idk if i want it to be for a variety of reasons)#(but exploring it with them could be !!!!!!!)#i thought of a mini series of zuri and adam going on drives together as their relationship progresses#i also wanna write something with zuri and bobby after the events of book 3#with bobby seeking her out with more genuine intentions than he does in book 2 and contrasting the two#i wanna write a few scene rewrites just for just#and there are so many fics i wanna read! i've missed so many of them and they all seem so interesting and fun#but i am suffering💀#i'm in a different country for an extended period of time (for me at least) when i really didn't want to be#(travelling in general isn't really for me - not when my parents 'plan' it)#i'm struggling to sleep because it's not my bed and i am constantly aware that its not my bed#all my energy is going into being as okay as i can be while counting the days until i can go home#(and i know as soon as i'm on the plane i'm gonna feel like this wasn't so bad so i dislike that it still mostly feels like it is)#and i forgot to take the pill for days now so my period just started for the second time this month💀💀#make it stop PLEASE#this ended up being a more personal rant but like UAUSGSH#i just need it to be over#chichi.txt
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#people very much want to blame readers for a lack of engagement with fic these days but frankly i think this is.... incorrect#we need to be real about WHAT ao3 is#it is an archive#it is not a space that is particularly conducive to social engagement#the most collaborative experiences i ever had around fic happened on livejournal#it was not on ff.net#like i agree that there is a depressing drop off in like...idk the idea of the social acceptability of leaving comments#and a far more pronounced divide between readers and authors#but this isn't happening bc readers suck now and they're selfish and entitled which frankly is how many posts opining about this issue sound#it's not like lurking or sorting by complete works only is NEW#these are things that have always happened#what has CHANGED imo is that the spaces where fic happens and the spaces where fandom happens are now very different#and isolated from one another#and we can blame readers for not bridging that gap all we want but it's not gonna fix it#especially since we know how well shaming people for Not Enjoying Things Correctly tends to go#like i don't have an answer to this problem but i think this ''you're entitled!'' ''no YOU'RE entitled'' back and forth#between writers and readers certainly isn't going to fix anything either#it's only going to push those two groups further away from each other#to my mind what we need is a) a platform more conducive to collabortive fic writing and fandom interaction#(think LJ or old dedicated fandom message boards)#and b) a cultural shift within fandom spaces away from this idea that authors are like... untouchable or whatever#bc from what I have observed authors who DON'T have this issue are ones who started creating fanworks from within a pre-existing friendgroup#a pre-existing readership really#and these little subsets then grow into larger readerships#the problem is how partioned all these group start#and that i think is a byproduct of an overall more hostile fandom space where people feel like they can't speak or create openly#without being in danger of running afoul of some fandom scold and their lackeys#like fandom has never lacked for drama but i do think in a post-tumblr/twitter fandom space we can all agree that shit jas gotten Buckwild#*gestures at how bg3 fandom recently speedran fandom insanity primarily on twitter*#shit is different these days and blaming each other for that is missing the forest for the trees
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i have so many thoughts for so many different fics maybe that's my problem
#🎐maddie speaks#jesus christ#i should've finished parfum d'etoiles before starting bllk#cos now i wanna write for bllk#oh man#i feell ike i haven't written for hq in ages (two days ago)#i think i just need to finish one fic at a time#cos i keep on thinking of new ideas while i write#nto to mention that writing requests is like the hardest thing ever im not JOKING#like i feel like i need to cater to what they asked but it really just doesn't resonate with how i've imagined the character#idk it's hard for me to write outside that imagination#i wanna open requests up again so bad but i really need to finish these ones first#god#i wanna js finish parfum d'etoiles asap#but it requires so much effort#i think i like writing one shots more but like#ugh#ppl r expectant of parfum as well#whatever i'll write tomorrow
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