#i really need to work out the magic system
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Mkay, well, I don’t really care about the dishes on your anarchist commune—i mean I’m sure whatever compromise anarchism is capable of coming to will be misogynistic and in general let random charismatic people’s biases rule their social spaces—but I care much more about anarchism’s history of giving ground to the petty bourgeoisie, and how they keep doing that because they have liberal ideas about how to create freedom. I’m much more concerned about many anarchists celebrating the idea of the carceral system being replaced by spontaneous social ostracisation or even lynchings led by the will of a masses they aren’t willing to accept needs to be prepared and changed in order to rule (or else the masses they have little but vague nothings as a plan to change). I’m much more concerned that anarchism has achieved little in terms of strategic victory and yet that it has had an almost complete ideological stagnation and lack of meaningfully new ideas throughout its development, and has certainly made little progress strategically in that time as well. And most of all, I’m critical of how anarchists are unwilling to criticize their magic set of libertarian ideals imported from liberalism and take them as anything other than a set of dead stone-still sky truths that must never be questioned in social science with no regards or thought to which classes they serve. But sure. The mean tankies are just mad because they believe in forcing everyone to do dishes at gunpoint I guess and all the anarchist will vaguely work it out horizontally somehow (as though no revolution needs to happen in the domestic sphere until those contradictions become violent and acute and can only be solved with violence, as though there are no ingrained biases in the masses that will affect what they chose or negotiate, as though peoples forces of will and charisma are equal and they’ll all have an equal say without a formal structure). Anarchism wins apparently because if problems can’t be solved or aren’t solved suitably by talking it out, they must be solved by violence, unlike the scary tankies with their scary shadow states which will do things like have mass movements to confront these social problems a la the cultural revolution (imperfect and sometimes violent and therefore wicked by default.
Sometimes critiques of anarchism seem to come from a framework that asks anarchists to have a plan for what to do if half of their society suddenly decides to stubbornly refuse to cooperate with anything despite it being in the best interests of themselves and everyone around them; but for statists takes "we'll just force compliance from above" as an answer needing no justification, as if the use of force has only ever ensured perfect obedience and never sowed discontent.
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Infodumped to my brother about my three Gen story and he told me that in gen one I should change the earth wizards to plant wizards to avoid seeming too much like atla but I can’t DO that cuz I’m Gen 3 Kim has plant control capabilities and their power is supposed to be regarded as odd once they reach futures home world again also MY earth wizards don’t fuck with rocks they fuck with DIRT and shit. Also thinking about creating a subset that evolved into necromancers
#i really need to work out the magic system#my ocs !!#also yeah I know rocks are involved in dirt. they can still manipulate them but it’s not really their main thing
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i love sincerely love working with dungeon meshi's magic system and the way mana sickness is depicted, like it has the breadth and scope for some truly powerful and wacky fun shit, but you can also easily bring down the hammer when you want to put the characters in difficult situations they can't get out of without a little creativity. i found when writing for baldur's gate 3 that, unless i was in a modified setting, i was hard-pressed thinking up fun ways for characters to solve their problems without just using magic, especially for the small things. i mean, what fun is throwing a character into a river and needing to warm them up when you can just cast prestidigitation?? it's one of the first things a novice can learn and also it's a cantrip, it literally costs nothing!
#dungeon meshi#not that im thinking of throwing anyone into a river or anything 👀#but like for example i was reading this one fic where character A had gotten injured in a fight and there was blood everywhere#and they needed to hide the mess from character B for angst reasons#and i thought 'ooooohh character A isn't going to get it cleaned up fast enough and character B is going to find the blood#but then i remembered oh ya ... character A can just clean it all away with a snap of their fingers#and it took the wind right out of my sails haha#i suppose that's just a gale girlie problem tho 🥺#that moment in the sick fic where kabru had to debate if it was worth it to dry off his shirt#like i loved having the opportunity to write him running a cost benefit analysis like that haha#dm isn't like the first series to equate depleted mana as fatigue or anything and forgotten realms has spell slots#but idk the way mana sickness is depicted just really works for me#especially having healing potentially hurting just as bad as the injury itself that FUCKS and idk if i've ever seen that before 🤔#side note this is also why the magic system in hunter x hunter is one of the best in any piece of media ever
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“what happened to him?” “he read a book so bad he returned it to the library a third of the way through, but now his brain won’t stop chewing on the potential it had 😔”
#f**rth w*ng isn’t even a case of “this would be so good if it was good”#but it is unfortunately a case of “this would be such epic catnip for me if it was good”#i fear i may have to check it out again and hate-binge it to get it out of my system#ugghhhhhh i’m not even gonna enjoy a single minute of it#but i need to convince my brain there’s nothing there! it was never going to get good! trust me dude it wasn’t!#negativity#i just want to pick it up from the start of the bonding scene and rewrite it completely#without the fuckin. deus ex machina all-powerful mythic rare ancient dragon#and without any intervention from xaden#and just focus on violet and the feathertail#i read the wiki and that kiddo has TIME MAGIC?#yeah fuck off you do not need anyone else’s help#with TIME MAGIC and a bonded human who has even an ounce of competence and brainpower#you do NOT need a fuckin legendary dragon’s help#that could’ve been SO COOL C’MON#you’re really gonna build the whole core of your story around how Violet is not strong but has a sharp mind#and then get her out of her tight spot by introducing a BIG STRONG DRAGON#instead of letting her work with the tiny smart-but-not-strong dragon????? come the fUCK on#ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh it could’ve been so cool#ughhhhhhhhhh and then the first flight was the most fuckin lackluster bit of storytelling i’ve ever read#like yeah cool okay i love how she’s having to work with Tairn to keep her seat. that part was fun#but then the fucking handwave of “wow it’s amazing being on a dragon’s back”#you could never be toothless and hiccup#god#anyway#had to get my rant out#it pisses me off when dragon stories are bad XD
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A place among the stars
“How did you know I was going to come back?” Harry asks, still not believing this is real.
“Because you promised me,” Draco says and Harry can see that same determination in those grey eyes, the same fire they had when Harry left, all those years ago. “My Harry promised me.”
Harry's bottom lip trembles. “The library, the books on the shelf trying to communicate with you; Draco, you were right, it— it wasn’t dark magic, it was—”
“It was you,” Draco squeezes his hand lightly, “You were my ghost, Harry, you were with me even before you left but,” he searches Harry’s face, eyes softening at him, “You never really truly did, did you?”
Harry shakes his head lightly, kissing Draco’s knuckles.
“Never.”
#is shit I know but I needed to get it out of my system#Im having interstellar brainrot#and drarry brainrot#I dont really know how to explain this part without having to explain first how does interdimensional traveling and magic works at the same#time. i was trying to look for a drarry fic inspired in that movie but couldn't find anything. i mean i do get why (see above) but still.#anyway it breaks my heart to think that they were far more time apart than they were together but still yearning for each other brb gonnacr#drarry#shout out to the interstellar soundtrack hans zimmer never misses
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Hm ok what's your favorite or a really cool worlbuilding thing you've done? For any fandom or original or even an unimplemented idea
Hmm well at least in the past decade, my big worldbuilding projects have mostly come down to three-ish stories: Other Side of the Gun, Adventures of Gæilo and Ethon, and Just Desserts
OSG was an Invader ZiM fancomic concept I started around 2013 to justify every single Irken headcanon I ever came up with lol - I never finished it, or even really started it, but I put a lot of time and energy into its roughs back in the day :)
^A stick figure recap of Ch. 1, inspired by - what else - the Vargas stick figure recaps lol
One that you can see over here is all the work I did for my DnD campaign, AGE! (Though its sideblog hasn't been updated in a while haha - the AGE tag over here works just as well) I basically homebrewed a pantheon and had an absolute blast designing all the gods and their forms before they became gods and even things like architectural differences in their churches and the BBEG and his motivations and just ah <3 Such a fun project :D
It also laid the groundwork for things like Pokemon Homestyle, specifically all my papercrafts! You can really see how I leveled up haha
And my latest has been Just Desserts! Even with less time under its belt, it's still pretty expansive, as evidenced by my icon and theme and the backlog lol, and it's the one I have the most AUs of! (Though OSG does come close actually haha) There are still some thorny details I'm trying to iron out, especially to do with the magic system, but all the characters and creatures and the fact that I made my own fighting minigame, ah, pleased! I've never been so happy with a sona before Charm! ♥ From the very beginning it's been so fun to work on and I still want to improve!
#Long post#There have been others of course - things like BunBonBop and TMatM and quite a handful of original species lol#I was also involved in an IZRP that got very in depth which is where Bar comes from actually!#As well as my brief stint into being a TGWDLM askblog lol soz to everyone over there ouq#And little stories like Karera no Kotogara and Yanderapy but those mostly set in cartoon-reality y'know?#No magic or sci fi there haha#Man looking back through the OSG stuff kinda makes me wanna unstore Ch. 0 - I've grown a lot since then!#To the point where it almost doesn't feel ''mine'' anymore haha - it has been almost ten years! Maybe to celebrate its anniversary :)#Also yeah if you look hard enough I've been in love with and inspired by Vargas for as long as I've known about it haha#AGE was so much fun <3 I would like to get back to it someday but picking back up after so long is hard!#I still hold all of them fondly of course ♥ Mar especially since they were the tipping point for me loving spiders :D#It's hard to believe Just Desserts is already four years deep! It still feels so new to me haha#I know I big up Charm and her design a lot lol but for me it really is exactly what I want <3 It's my perfect :)#I still really want to get into 3D modeling to make her as I originally envisioned her!#If I had the funds I'd absolutely commission someone but tbh I don't know many names on that side of art haha#I've also heard about people who give advice/brainstorming sessions for magic systems and I've been intrigued ever since :0#I'd love to sit down with someone and hash out Exactly how their magic works! It feels like it just needs a few more pushes!#Then again that's what I said about the TVAU outfits too haha ♪ Maybe it would all fall into place!#To the base question tho: I never know how to qualify ''implemented'' - does just putting it out there as a concept count?#Writing a story? Making a comic? A series? Polished? Completed?? Where's the line haha#I'm always so full of ideas but focusing on anything long enough to make it ''pretty'' is so hard for me still#I just keep creating never stopping haha
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yall wouldn’t even BELIEVE what i am going through right now (have to cook dinner but i am So Tired)
#i keep feeling fine at work and then i walk through my door and want to pass out#but my dumb body needs FOOD#awful horrible#offensive tbh#can’t believe that food doesn’t just magically prepare itself for when you get off work smh#awful system really#i want to sleeeepppppp#but apparently i ‘need’ to eat#🙄🙄🙄#ya girl is struggling#cw food mention
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hmmm something about certain magics being weak/strong against other certain magics... i'm thinking about it bc of asks concerning cyrillo and kaiya. vampires do have above average healing and resilience in comparison to mortals -- they're hard to kill bc they're undead and essentially feeding off inherent magic in mortal blood to remain animated. but bc they're undead and necrotic in nature, that means holy magic would be strong against them and inhibit their healing. blessed weaponry would tear them a new one.
and that's leading me down a hole of " oh well, i gotta explore other resistances and weaknesses between magic users and magical beings/creatures as well then " but that's not my plan for tonight asdfg
#sorry if this isn't entirely coherent/making sense but the brain cells are working tonight it looks like and i need them to not concentrate#on lore when i'm trying to write :' ))#at one point i need to compile a list of questions to answer about magic and other aspects of the world#like i really wanna point out how the grand city loves to use the word ' grand ' in titles -- like cyrillo being the ' grand vampire '#if you're a ' grand ' something then you're the highest ranking person of that organization#but other countries might have different ranking systems#the grand city just tends to use important and over the top words and descriptions#probably the snootiest city you're gonna find in dorverold if i'm honest#it's a melting pot but it's a rich melting pot of people#ANYWAY I SAID NO LORE TONIGHT...... for now.....#headcanons | dórverold
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Dude.. my ex boyfriend totally did get me into conspiracy theory shit, even if unintentionally (i think its intentional im sure he believed in that shit. Would not surprise me at all.) At the time i was already pretty isolated from anyone online who mightve countered any of my dumb spiritual or alien related beliefs because of some dumb shit i said online making most of the friends and followers i made online generally avoid me, depending on who it was. I was just a regular pagan and then he showed me this weird video with all this weird conspiracy theory symbolism in it. I looked it up later on and looked up the meaning of the symbolism and came across a whole bunch of stuff posing itself as Secret Information The US Govt Doesnt Want You To Know About, etc. And then i just fell deeper into the conspiracy theory pipeline, traded my paganism for new age beliefs, and goddamn dude. Like we both got suspended from school bc he had a dumb idea to dumb shit there and i spent my time in detention fucking. Trying to read "the emerald tablets" or whatever tf. Its all coming back to me rn.
#anyways im not about to let yall make me feel guilty for falling in this direction anymore bc i was fuckin 14 and didnt know SHIT about us#politics aside from lgbt ppl deserve rights and to live like everyone else and same w all the other minorities (even tho i probably still#had issues i needed to work on around those things. still generally i wouldve considered myself progressive but apolitical)#and i was already at the time rejecting my christian upbringing and trying out satanism and paganism and such and so#i had a very rebellious mindset at the time. i also hated authority so the first antiesrablishment thing i saw i clung to bc it was#*close enough* to how i felt. none of that shit ever outwardly stated (at the time at least) that anything was abt jewish ppl and i was#filling in the parts about 'child sex rings' to be about christians bc thats how i knew them to be like. it just like. seems so obviously#something a christian would try to do. like a creepy priest or something. i imprinted my own meaning onto it#im not saying it was good but i definitely didnt go into it and stick to it for reasons some ppl might wanna believe#i was way more on the spiritual leaning side and the ~secret spiritual meaning~ of the world. like the flower of life or fuckin.#shit like how theres. idk. a fucking disc or something thats supposed to go on top of the great pyramids that super enlightened#people can only navigate like a spaceship or some shit?#idk the mythology of it all really fucking enraptured me. and i still liked the reptilians even tho they were supposed to be evil and#apparently an antisemitic dogwhistle. i thought it was the annunaki or whatever i was supposed to hate. at least.#the opinions were pretty mixed back then. admittedly i didnt really look up other ppls opinions on that stuff other than articles ppl wrote#like no forums or anything really. which is probably a very good thing i avoided those lol. regardless i thought of the reptilians#as being more neutral but generally looking out for themselves kinda like. the way a reptile would ig. but now that ik its a dog whistle#it really took a the magic out of all of that stuff for me :/ im disillusioned to say the least lol.#all that new age shit was appropriation. christianity rebranded. or weird shit people made up about atlantis or whatever sjjsksks#my favorite was the oceanis one where theres a star system where whales and dolphins come from#like that one was my favorite to believe in dhdjjsksksbdhs#imagine being on a star planet diving around in the sea of light u_u anyways it still sounds fun shsjskskwne.#i hope that one is at least more tame. though im sure its still somehow connected to everything else which im p sure it is#dude all of this information is just resurfacing about all of this shit. i could totally write a whole thing about all the conspiracy#theories i learned about. i might if only to make fun of it all sjdjksksks#yall ever heard of FUCKING david willcocks????#his willing cocks???????#his fucking ass#and gaia FUCKING tv#all that dumb shit
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Because I’ve been dealing with so much shit late, especially medically, I have decided that I’m going to get my hair cut some time in the next month (have to work around appointments though) so that I officially have dead boy hair. Aka the Jason Todd look. Aka shorter then I have ever gone before.
And I’ve been putting off going really short because I’m afraid of how people will react, especially if it comes out how I want and I wind up looking more masc (more gender also). But like, after all this shit I’ve decided to say Fuck It
And this haircut is my reward for all the pushing I’ve been doing to find answers (and all the war crimes I didn’t do every time someone said I just needed to exercise to fix all my problems). And also kind of a birthday present to myself, because you know that day and the time around it is kind of not great for me and usually I buy myself a game I want but this time I’m going for hair.
#ravenpuff rambles#I don’t really know what the point of this was#I just wanted to say I was treating myself to a hair cut as a reward for dealing with shit but y’all know I have words#anyways I deserve a treat for all the fucking times I’ve been told I could magically fix myself with exercise#as if everyone ever hasn’t suggested it and I hadn’t tried it (more then once!!) just to prove it didn’t work#swear to fucking god if the neurologist tells me there’s nothing wrong with me and my pain is fake and I’m making it up or I just need to#exercise or lose weight to help#swear to god that’s going to be my motherfucking Joker moment#fucking need to move to Gotham to become a supervillain just so when Batman asks me why I can tell him how much the medical system has faile#me and now I’m taking my pain out on the city#and then Batman will hook me up with care and people who will work to get answers#because if they give up I go back to blowing up the bridge and causing crime level chaos
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Tw for fictional racism
I may not be knowledgeable to talk about this, but dark concept. What if having superpowers in the NSR world was not normal at all. So although Vinyl City is open to those with powers, in other parts of that world… having powers makes you a target. Hence there are not much cities in the world which make energy with magic. (… I’m not confident about this)
Maybe.
I personally see the whole world full of magic, even if it's small things like the magic of making food taste a little better or big things like being able to change matter around you.
Music is just one of the easiest ways to project magic/power outwardly. Like idk, maybe Mama can make plants grow faster around her, so no matter where she is plants just flourish when she is around. But when she plays music or sings it shoots out energy/magic/power that lets her build forests in moments if that is her intention.
Like going back to the food thing, you might have a natural talent to make food taste better, but if you practice and hone your skills you could create food quicker with special effects compared to someone without that power/magic.
Some people have less magic than other people, or at least LOOK like they have less magic. Think like the Sayu crew alone don't have amazing super powers, but together they are able to combine their skills to make a more powerful entity. So those people need to work harder to strengthen their magic, while others like DJ, Eve, and Mama have a naturally easy time projecting their powers, to the point they actually lose control of their powers sometimes.
Then there are people who I see that look like they don't have any natural talent when their talent/power is literally to MAKE power/magic. Like I see May's magic as just naturally able to produce energy around her, same with Neon J before becoming a cyborg. Both of these two just exude natural magic when doing stuff. Which they can then use to learn other types of magic.
Like I also think Neon can shoot lasers out of his hand without even having to have built that into his body. May can learn all those different abilities in game. So can Zuke, but he already has magic in the case of a shadow puppet (which I do think he has one, he just doesn't use it all that much).
So basically, different magics/powers make different power supplies. Music is one of the easiest ways to harness magical output and transform it into electrical power. Other magics, like just straight up electrical magic, that a lot of robots and some humans or elementals have, can be used to make electricity.
Plant, weather, natural magics can be used to power up the land itself. Making fields more fertile or harvest more plentiful. Keeping pollution down or stopping/diverting natural disasters.
Food, psychological, physiological magic can be used to boost other living creatures to a certain extent. This would allow other people to use their powers more and be a boost to whatever their magic allows. Or the user of these could boost themself and just produce more power solo style.
I will be honest. I don't have anything super concrete like major examples or stories I can give about the way I think about magic. I just know that the passion behind your talent can give you modification and boosts.
Music is one of the easiest ways to harness magic which is why the world is based off of music. It's not the source of magic though, just an amplifier/tool to cast your magic. You can still use/cast magic without ever even knowing how to play an instrument or sing.
I probably contradicted myself at some point in here, or from things I said in the past. I don't try to think TOO much on the logistics of magic in the NSR universe. I probably should. So maybe I will work on my ideas and give a better answer at some point. But for now this is what I have.
#nsr#no straight roads#eritalks#noart#asks#i really need to work on my magic system#it's more of a soft magic system honestly#things can change and fluctuate#there aren't hard limits to magic overall#but there limits to each person#like d/jss can't just make a massive sun out of nowhere#or e/ve can't permanently change reality around her#or even m/ama isn't able to grow plants from absolutely nothing#she needs some kind of nutrients in the ground at the very least
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Well! I started remodeling the house sooo long ago (original post of it back in 2018), then got distracted and forgot it in the closet for a long time, ignored it on and off, etc... Then, finally finished the house in 2022. THEN, I forgot about the pictures I took of it in 2022, and am now posting them in 2024.. A good example of how the timeline of my side craft projects usually go lol
But, at least I do have the photos now, so... finally sharing them !
I just used a blue sheet as a 'sky' and a green sweater with some fake flowers on it to try to look like it was on grass lol...
(more images under the readmore)
The bedroom-
The library/potion room -
The living room area-
Then the little kitchen
The pictures are not very good, but these are the best I could find? I filmed a video of me working on the whole thing (who knows when that will be out..if it took me TWO years just to post the photos lol), so I think while I was taking the pictures, I was thinking “eh, they don’t have to be great, since I’ll show it in more detail in the video :3″, but now I kind of regret not having more actual detail shots or anything.
(sidenote: I'm pretty sure I've posted better pictures of some of the individual rooms before though too? sometime before I had added the finishing touches but when they were basically done and looked almost the same as these. so maybe it's okay that these are kind of bad lol)
I think progress on it also stalled a bit due to the pandemic starting, since like 90% of the stuff in here is random things I found at the bins (giant goodwill donation center where you dig through tubs of various items all thrown together), so once I couldn’t go out to the bins anymore, I lost my method of hunting for new items, and just had to work with whatever scraps I already had or could make myself with very few materials/tools. The bins is a really large and always crowded place, so it's still not safe for me to go with current community transmission levels lol... who knows when I shall be able to use it to get dirt cheap crafting supplies ever again.. T o T
ANYWAY! It was a fun little project, even though of course it's a little rough around the edges and not exactly as I'd envisioned lol. As usual, I always enjoy the MAKING of things the most, yet then have no idea what to do with the finished project, since the process is what's enjoyable to me.
I think I'm going to take all the glued down furniture out of it and then repaint it, then maybe donate the base house back to the same thrift store I found it at. Like completing some sort of crafting circle of life or something lol
slowly making some progress on the doll house I’m trying to remodel!
#In a crafting mood today... to think about crafts. not that I've done them lol.. it's too hot and evil and stinky right now.#But I do really want to get into sculpting more soon as well. I think that would be good to pick up doing regulalry again. like even just#one once a month would still be 12 sculptures a year. That's cool. I suppose..#I have definitely not gotten 2000 words a day done working on my game recently lol... there has been so much going on. But I'm#trying to stay focused. If I could just juggle like.. THREE things.. sculptures. posting costume pictures regulalry (since I ltierally#already have a lot done I just have to POST them). and working on my game... just three measly things... three things blease... *my brain#shaking it's head ''no'' in the corner very nonchalantly. my health issues cackling maniacally in the other corner*#aanyway... augh... trying to go through some tumblr drafts and like... maybe post some of them soon.#Since it's not like I cando much in the evil hot summer anyway. I could at least try to like clear out my drafts and prepare#all the costume photos and other things so everything is ready to post. and then I can just kind of get through things.#maybe FINALLY have a backlog of stuff cleared and Start Anew or something. Hence me trying to finally clear these pictures from#TWO YEARS ago out of my folder they've just been gathering dust in on the computer lol#AT LEAST I have gotten some worldbuilding done. like I havent done writing on the game but I've done planning. Since I realized#that in order to potray life in the city the game takes place in accurately then like.... i need to know what that lfe is actually like?#like it's a fantasy place. do they have indoor plumbing? do most poeple cook? what is the housing system like? where to people use the#bathroom? etc. And also even like.. how do they tell time pre-electricity? do they have magical electricity? do they#use water clocks? or a bell in the center of town that rings at certain times? if so - what are the times? how does this culture break up#their days? etc. etc. So of course i made the whole elven calendar and day and time distinctions and etc gjjhb.. Just because ONE#character was like 'i got up at 3am' and then I thought... wait... what IS 3am to them? would they even HAVE the designation#3am??? in this global city in the middle of an elven country??? I also worked out the neighboring areas outside of the global city#and the trade route and river that run through the main city and got the layout and names and stuff. which I SHOULD have done sooner like#generally that'd be the FIRST things you start with as a base. But since it's so character focused it really hasn't come up until now. sinc#youre mostly just learning about the people themselves. But now that things are strating to branch out and some places where people referen#ce daily life or the envrionment rather than just running their little shops its like.. hmm.... yeah... i should know these things#WHICH is indeed literally my favorite part of everything. I wish I could just worldbuild always without having to write or do anything#special with it. but alas... lol... dense textbook style text is much less broadly accessible than an interactive game. But I could spend#hours days weeks and so on just making up little rivers and cities and characters and calendars and etc.. wistful sigh. so on and so forth#BUT YEAH..a nyway... doll house updates.. clearing the drafts..hewwo
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Stuck in TWST without meds
and also they're yandere or something
@shironakuronatasa here you go pookie <3
Because everyone is different, I'm gonna be focusing on the meds I take and the things I experience! If you're inspired to write one of your own based on your types of meds, go for it! I'd love to see others' takes on this :3
I'm still writing in 2nd person, but you/mc is heavily based off of me!
(And if you still want a personalized one but don't want to write it, my commissions are open/hj)
Tw for one mention of suicidal ideation.
Imagine...
You don't quite have a clusterfuck of things going on in your head, but sometimes it can feel like it. Autism, Anxiety, depression, and ADD. Thankfully, you have access to medication, and they work well for you.
Although you can't keep the downward spiraling from the depression and anxiety away completely, it is far more manageable with your medication. You've found that when off them, you are far more prone to completely fall apart at even the slightest inconvenience. It feels like constant stormy waters, with stormclouds that only make the waves worse. But when on them, the storm disappears. Yes, the waves still get rocky and tip your boat from side to side, but you're emotionally stable enough to handle them.
Then the meds for your ADD. With them you have the razor sharp focus to not only take care of projects and work, but also to simply take care of yourself. When off of those, even simple tasks like taking out the trash can take hours, especially since you so easily forget steps, and will stop the chore in the middle, genuinely thinking it's complete.
But you have your meds, so you manage just fine.
Until you're sucked into Twisted Wonderland.
First of all, even if you had already taken the meds for anxiety/depression, there's not much they could do in the face of being transported and consequently trapped in a different dimension. But they do still help, and instead of bawling, you manage to keep a cool (enough) head and get yourself settled into Ramshackle.
But they don't last you long. They had built up in your system enough to last you a few days, but time and circumstances were not on your side.
Even though Grim is by no means an emotional support pet, and is by all means a little shit, he manages to push his pride aside when he can tell you really need it.
Especially the days where you wonder if death is what will bring you back home...
Grim will act as if he helps you for his own purposes, but he is genuinely there for you.
The others, however...
First of all, quite a few of them don't completely understand... you're extra sad and spacey, but you had some kind of magic to help with it back home, but you don't have them here, and without them you get... sad and spacey?
Riddle probably sees it as some pathetic excuse. It's not until after his overblot that his tune completely changes and he is giving you all the special treatment. Even if you mess up on purpose, even if it's something that really frustrates him, he'll justify it as you not knowing any better. Which is patronizing as hell.
Ace will use it to his advantage. Getting into trouble and having you take the brunt. And you play along with it, because, again, Riddle is treating you like an incompetent child, so you are all for raising Cain with Ace. What Ace really loves about this, though, is that it makes you more willing to hang out with him, and more likely to dislike Riddle.
I imagine Deuce has something going as well, though I don't quite know what, and neither does he. But he finds a kindred spirit in you. Study sessions with him are a MUST, and you share your different study and coping tactics, while he stares at your lovely face.
Trey relishes in caring for you. If you're having any kind of sudden increase in stress or sorrow, he is fucking there. He will scoop you up and take you to the kitchen and treat you with his home baked goodies right then and there. Same with your academics, if you need help with academics, it's to the kitchen for tutoring. And as bad as it is, he finds himself wishing you'd give in and lean on him completely.
Leona will also be there for you in depressive episodes. He sees how you always go to Grim when your upset, notices the little things that Grimm does that helps, and starts subtly using them whenever you're upset. Not even just if it's depression/anxiety related, if you're upset with him specifically he'll start purring in that low register that has your heart slowing. He'll rest his body on your chest as a weighted blanket. He'll let you pet him and comb through his hair. All until all you associate Leona with is safety and comfort–as you should from a mate.
Ruggie is SUCH a little meanie at first! Specifically regarding your ADD. Once he sees how much it genuinely upsets you, though, he'll back off. He does have a manipulative streak, though, and will use your anxiety against you. Any way he can get you to distrust others and seek him out is a good way.
Jack is one who does not fuckin understand at first, but once he does, he's supportive. He asks if there's anyway he can help and you offhandedly tell him about emotional support dogs, and he is locked on. He's embarrassed by it at first, of course, but he can tell how safe it makes you feel, and like Leona he is completely fucking for that. Though he won't just be emotional support, no, he'll be the guard dog chasing away anything that could possibly trigger you.
School is very difficult for you without your ADD meds. You can manage, but it is far more stressful and difficult than it needs to be. So, of course, you have those generously offering to help you–specifically Azul, who's more than willing to help... at a price, of course.
Floyd really likes when you daze off in class... When you're staring blankly, mind thinking about so many things except whatever the professor is droning on about. The way your eyes glaze over, the way you're so focused on whatever the fuck is going on in your head, the way your lips part ever so slightly... All your idle habits are endlessly entrancing to him. And, goes without saying, every single time you're especially depressed, he offers a good squeeze session.
Jade, the manipulative bastard, will purposely set you up for failure so that you feel like you need to go to him for help. Because lord knows Azul will make you pay for it, but not your good friend Jade. Plus, if you ever mention how hiking can help with mood, lord save your soul...
Jamil is such a DICK. He will be degrading you at every second, completely taking over whatever it is you try to do. Even if it has nothing to do with him. God, you remind him of Kalim, but at least you don't have the nerve to be so fucking happy all the time. A sick part of him likes when you're sad. You're less annoying when you're depressed, specifically, without little energy or motivation to do or be anything else. He'd happily take care of you then. He'll do whatever you need done. You'd probably do it wrong anyway.
Kalim feels so fucking seen and understood. He honestly felt like some kind of freak for so much of his life, but you... you're kinda like him! A lot sadder though. Your very existence brightens his life, so he's made it his mission to brighten yours. He also really can't stand it when you're with others. It's so obvious you two are meant for each other! He views your shared ADD symptoms as evidence of soulmateship.
Vil is another case of not fully understanding. You're making excuses. Until he takes it a bit too far, pushes even more than what you can handle, and you fully break down in front of him. You're so completely and utterly vulnerable in that moment. He doesn't know if it's a very dedicated manipulation tactic to get out of his nitpicking, but... he becomes a little more sympathetic with you. Vil recognizes that, for whatever reason, you do in fact seem to struggle more with certain things. And yet, despite that, you still try. You continue push yourself, even if what youre pushing towards is, by other people's standards, the norm/mediocrity/minimum. And in you he starts to see a bit of himself. Especially since, let's face it, with depression, anxiety, and add, it is very likely you relate more to Vil than you do Niege. He helps you, and in turn you help him, though you don't even realize it. Helping you be happier with yourself helps him be happy with himself. And he'll fucking slaughter anyone who takes you away from him.
Rook, like Vil, is easily able to recognize how much you not only struggle, but how much you try. And he finds that incredibly beautiful. Needless to say, he is often watching you. Everything you do is enchanting. He memorizes every. single. stim. and habit. Sometimes when you get frustrated, he just wants to scoop you up in his arms and shower you in kisses, but then you'd realize he broke into your room...
Epel will see how much you get pushed around, and takes it upon himself to defend you. He also sees a bit of himself in you. Sometimes he purposely waits around you, and at the first sign of trouble, he'll attack.
Sometimes you just get too fucking overstimulated and you need a break. And in those times, you've found Idia to be the best person to go to. You both started off pretty distant. You approached him, upset, and asked for a quiet place. You put in headphones and just laid down right there. The two of you just sat in silence, with headphones in, doing your own things, blocking out the world. And, oh, how Idia came to crave those moments. He began to depend on you for comfort, ans hoping that you would similarly come to depend on him. You're different from those other normies, you're the only one who gets him so please just stay with him! He will start to modify his room to be the perfect sensory room, the only place in the school you can go to fully regulate yourself. He starts going out with you, acting as if you're really helping him step out of his shell, when really he just wants to spend more time with you, and will continue to shy away from everyone else and hide behind you. This man desperately needs you to need him as desperately as he needs you.
You are so. Fucking. Cute. Malleus finds your every single quirk so fucking attractive. He doesnt like, however, seeing you so upset. So sad. And the kind of sad where he is helpless to help you. He also really doesn't like it when you're upset at yourself. Don't you realize you're perfect? And who cares if you're not good at any of the school stuff? Malleus doesn't. You don't need any of those skills anyway, with Malleus Draconia here to always take care of you.
if you want the rest of diasomnia or the secret character I subtly didn't include lmk
part two out now!!
#yes i’m referencing the eels mouth open thing again leave me alone#yandere#yandere rambles#yandere twst#yandere twisted wonderland#twst#twisted wonderland x reader#twst x reader#twisted wonderland#twst floyd#twst headcanons#yandere twst headcanons#yandere ace trappola#yandere deuce spade#yandere trey clover#yandere riddle rosehearts#yandere leona kingscholar#yandere jack howl#yandere ruggie bucchi#yandere azul x reader#yandere jade leech#yandere floyd leech#yandere kalim al asim#yandere jamil viper#yandere epel felmier#yandere rook hunt#yandere vil schoenheit#yandere idia shroud#yandere malleus draconia#yandere headcanons
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The tendency for indie RPGs to turn into massive worldbuilding tomes with perfunctory mechanics bolted to the side is often overstated; however, to the extent that this characterisation is accurate, I don't think it's a coincidence that many of the things that received wisdom within the indie RPG sphere regards as archaic D&D-isms which "real" RPGs can do without are also basic tools for communicating a game's implicit milieu without resorting to pages upon pages of explcit lore.
Like, equipment tables? Sure, maybe nobody "needs" to know how much a hundred feet of rope costs in your setting, but a well-constructed equipment table is a perfect opportunity to showcase a bunch of weird shit that exists in your setting without needing to contrive a specific lore-related excuse to bring it up. You can just drop your setting's equivalent of that table from early iterations of Dungeons & Dragons with stats for thirty different kinds of polearms and let that percolate in your reader's brain.
Or spell lists in fantasy settings. Freeform magic is well and good, but no amount of long-winded exposition about your setting's magic system will ever characterise it even 10% as effectively as a dozen pages of worked examples of specific things the people who live there actually do with it, ideally with flowery titles and entertainingly cryptic asides about the surprising fate of the wizard the spell is named after.
Hell, I'm half-convinced that the reason Powered By the Apocalpyse games took off the way they did is because after a decade-plus of indie RPG designers insisting that character classes are for losers, Apocalypse World reminded folks of what a well-conceived character templating system can do in terms of characterising a milieu!
What I mean to say is that several thousand words of florid microfic has its place, but if you really want to set the creative juices simmering, you don't set up a diorama – you hand out a box of toys.
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Why does she give a damn about me? | Spencer Reid x Reader
cutesy, cheesy fluff
In wich Spencer thinks reader is out of his league but she could not be more into him.
Content: Garcia is a queen as always, sunshine!reader
Warnings: Maybe some light lack of self steem from spence, but nothing crazy!!
He was used to it at this point. Being the weird kid in high school and college, Spencer never really expected anyone to be into him and, after being rejected a couple of times, he had practically closed himself off in that sense. But then, you came into the picture.
You are one of those girls that everyone seemed to gravitate toward, not only because of your beauty but because of your essence. You were genuinely kind, smart and good with people in a way he wished he was, maybe that’s why he was so drawn to you, you had all the qualities he wished he had and being close to you made him feel complete.
Needless to say that he was in love with you, it had started as an admiration and when he realized he was thinking about you all the time, but he was sure you would never be into guys like him, he was sure you’d never see him as more than friends.
–
You had joined the team a few years ago, you were excited to finally be doing what you really wanted when you joined the BAU, going out in the field and being on cases instead of just working a desk job all the time. When you first met the team, everyone seemed very welcoming but you felt yourself especially drawn to Spencer out of all people, at first he seemed distant but with time you noticed how sweet he was and how much he cared for everyone around him and god that man was so funny, you loved his weird science jokes and his magic tricks. How were you supposed to not fall in love with him? You asked yourself that question every time he brought you coffee in the morning or went on his rambles about some random thing.
After a particularly intense inquiry from a very drunk Garcia in one of the girls' nights she organized at her home, you told her your feelings for Reid and she made you swear you would act on it.
“Garcia, I'm not confessing. He's not into me like that, i’ll just ruin our friendship”
“Oh honey, he practically kisses the floor you walk in, he follows you around the office like a lost puppy and practically kills any officer that dares to be the tiniest bit mean to you. There’s no way he’s not into you, at least try pretty please” She says, doing puppy eyes at you. Garcia took her job as a cupid very seriously and was not going to let this be her first fail.
“Alright, i’ll try but if he ends up hating me you’ll have to bake me cookies everyday until i die” You say rolling your eyes and finishing your glass of wine.
“Ohhh i’ll be cooking cookies for you guys wedding!”
–
So, here you are holding his favorite order from the local coffee shop and gathering the courage to press the button to the elevator
“Hey are you fine?” A familiar voice calls you, when you turn around its spencer.. Great, guess you’ll have to do this right now
“Oh hi yeah, I was just um… meditating”
“Did you know meditanting has been proven to increase your memory and is also great for reducing anxiety. I really should start doing it, what method do you use?” Spencer says while pressing the button to the elevator
“Ummm breath in, breath out i think” You say, unsure how to respond
“That's actually one of the best ways as it oxygenates your brain and helps it work better, it can also help you feel more calm since deep breathing activates the parasympathetic nervous system that sends a signal to your brain to tell the anxious part that you're safe and don't need to use the fight, flight response” He says, doing the little smile and head nod thing he always does after info dumping.
You smile back at him, as you both enter the elevator and press the button to the BAU floor.
“I brought you something” You say, handing him the coffee shop bag
He opens it and smiles at you “I can’t believe you remembered my favorites, thank you so much” You love that smile so much, all you can think about is how perfect he is and how there’s no way you can continue on without dating this man.
“Actually, I need to tell you something spence… I was thinking, maybe we could go out together as like, a date or something” You say, already blushing from the embarrassment you felt and how scared you were that he did not reciprocate the feelings.
“Really? Of course i want, to be honest i’ve wanted to ask you to be honest but i thought you’d never see me like that”
“Are you kidding me spencer? I’ve had a crush on you since we first meet”
The elevator gets to the office, and you both walk in blushing and joking about how you two were so blind to each other's feelings. As you get in, garcia passes by you two stopping to stare
“There’s something happening here…” She says, pointing between you two and pressing her eyes together as if she’s profiling you two
“I asked him out”
“Oh my god finally, you see? I’m always right, I don’t even need to ask what he said, look at Reid, he’s glowing, ohh i’m so happy” She says, walking out to probably tell the news to everyone on the team.
#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x bestfriend!reader#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid x y/n#criminal minds#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid x reader fluff#spencer reid one shot#spencer reid x self insert
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#holy shit this is like. such a good thing to point out
#bc we NEVER FIXED THE WIZARD PROBLEMS#WE FIXED ADAINES PROBLEM
#SHE GOT RICH AGAIN#BUT WE LEFT THE SYSTEM INTACT!!
(tags via @kipperlillyforpresident)
#i do get the canon though like even though it was supposed to be a bit i think about
#the girls in my hs spanish class who were from DR and spoke spanish every day w each other and at home
#and they weren’t great at spanish class! bc it was hard for them to articulate Why they were saying what they were saying
#it just made sense to them
#so i can definitely see jace being like i Know magic and i know that i’m good at it. but when you ask me to put down on paper how to cast
#a spell i can’t just put it into words. i just Do it
(tags via @t4tozier)
i guess it’s supposed to be canon that jace failed taking levels in wizard because it was too much work or he’s just not smart, which is fine i guess, haha very funny but have we considered the narrative parallels if it was actually because jace was (and still is, on a teacher’s salary? lbr) a broke bitch who couldn’t afford barrels of diamonds much like adaine??? have we considered that jace is a struggling artist turned grade school teacher because he didn’t have the money to invest in higher education? this man took online courses at his local community college and still somehow is buried under student loans. of course he went evil.
#i also want to add my own personal thoughts to this#that are maybe a bit less interesting than the other things shared but#from a mechanical standpoint wizard and sorcerer don't mesh that well.#they delay the ability to learn higher level spells. and they use different ability scores#so to cast a spell with either charisma or intelligence i think you would have to learn it twice#and i was thinking about how that would translate in-universe#and i feel like maybe wizard casting and sorcerer casting are just completely antithetical ways of working with magic#sorcerer casting is getting in touch with your own emotions and feeling your internal magic flow through you and altering it on the fly#whereas wizardry is for people who don't have internal magic they can naturally manipulate so it involves drawing on external magic sources#and rote memorization to do things the same way each time to guarantee results#so a sorcerer trying to take a level of wizard would be learning magic in a way that fundamentally isn't *at all* helpful#for using their innate powers#and taking the time to learn this completely different system is actually going to hurt their innate magic#because when you get used to rote casting with pre-written spell formulas it's actually harder to on-command feel the emotions you need#in order to power your innate magic#and shape it for yourself#kind of like playing by ear vs using sheet music#i learned to play the violin by ear and when i tried to use sheet music i really struggled#and despite a few instances of taking some time to try and learn#it never really helped me improve my playing to try and sit down and pick out the notes from the sheet#when i could find them instinctively if i could just hear them once#and so when i had a violin teacher who gave me sheet music i eventually resorted to getting her or my dad#to play the piece for me. and then learning it from there#i don't think i ever told her i couldn't read sheet music. because i was embarrassed#but i could still play the violin fine when i practiced regularly.#just. a different way. that the sheet music didn't really help me with.#even though being able to read sheet music is of course the expected standard for most musicians
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