#i really love her parents and younger brother and i thought 'yeah id like to be a part of that family' | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

jodilin65 · 32 years ago

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SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 27, 1993 I came up with a bright idea on how to get Ellie’s number. That is, only if she doesn’t have the Caller ID block on her line. I’ll leave her a note saying I just discovered I have two bowls and a glass of hers. Also, Fay came by and gave me a few things to give to her. Please do not knock on my door, call me and I’ll leave the stuff by her door. When I go to post this note on her door, I’ll make sure I get her apartment number so I can write her a beautiful letter after I’ve moved.

I saw Ellie today as I was on my way to mail a letter. She looked horrible and at first, I didn’t recognize her. She looked like maybe she gained a bit of weight. Her face looked all puffy, haggard and depressed. She was getting into a car with a younger girl, maybe her daughter. Her hair looked pretty pitiful too.

Andy’s gonna let me sleep at his place this weekend as the bitch next door’s noisy as it is and now a guy’s moving in down below me. I knew my luck would eventually run out. I can stay at Andy’s whenever I need to till I move and maybe Scott’s too.

I informed Judy today that there’s an 85% chance that a guy’s gonna take over my lease. Scott’s roommate.

Oh, yeah! That’s right. I have yet to mention all about my new apartment. Well, I’ll do that later as it’s definitely one of the subjects that are gonna take some time to cover.

Guess who began working where I work last Wednesday? Kara’s sister Stacey. It’s a surprise, but then again it’s not. She does seem like the type who’d do this job. She told me not to tell Kara. There’s a part of me that doesn’t want to tell Kara cuz I don’t like to go behind people’s back and end up going back on my word. I know exactly how that feels. Then again, Kara would be the last one to freak out about it and she was gonna work there herself if she had been hired. Plus, Kara could keep a secret.

I’ve decorated tons of envelopes and they sure look cool. I sent Tammy a pamphlet on my new apartment. When I move I’ll get one to send to my parents, too.

Scott says there’s a big black friendly cat there and he’s keeping it. I said, “It’s mine! I want it.” No problem, he said, and he’s gonna get it neutered and declawed. This is great as I thought to myself how great it’d be if I found the “right stray” after moving. What I mean by that is a cat like Shadow or Moon Shadow. Not like those two, Dennis took me to get through the paper and Dennis’s brother’s friend’s cat that screamed non-stop.

Last week I did something I’ve wanted to do for a long long time. I’m gonna do this at least once a month. Barbara still keeps her ringer off during the night when they’re asleep. I called on a weekday at 6:15 AM and her son Tony answered. I had the flu at this time and it was even easier to disguise my voice. I said my name was Kathy and that I was very sick and needed to speak to Barbara. Tony said she wasn’t up yet which I was very glad to hear. I told him to get her on the phone anyway as it was very urgent. He did. She said hello in a very sleepy voice. I spit really loud and hung up.

Little does she know that I’m still (unfortunately) being woken up here and there even though it’s nowhere near as bad as there. At first, I was afraid to do this, thinking God would surely get me for it somehow. Then I said, now wait a minute! I still get woken up here half the time and I’ve been behaving and being a complete sweetheart. I really hope it’s over when I move and that for the first time in nearly 3 years, I’ll be able to sleep when I want to with no music. Music is for listening to, not for sleeping. At least that’s how I feel. I want to return to those days of being able to sleep in total silence.

About two weeks ago I called the office and really let Stacey have it, but I think she got a big kick out of it. So many people love it when I go off cuz of the choice of words I use and how I say them. People get a real kick out of me when I first wake up. At fucking 9:00 in the goddamn morning, they had the parking lot sweepers here. I ripped shitting pissed. I called the office and asked what the hell was going on. I thought they were mowing again and she told me what it was and that she had to have them there once a month. I said something like, “I gotta get out of this complex. I’m outa here! OK, bye!” and she said, “Bbyyyyeeee.” I’m sure she got a real kick out of that. I could swear she was trying really damn hard not to burst out laughing. I’m sure all 3 of them and maybe even the maintenance guys were cracking up about it and that they wish they had it on tape.

About two weeks into my job, a girl named Shelby quit who was very nice. I’d given her the apartment office number here in case she wanted to check it out. I did tell her, though, that the walls are too thin and that there are plenty of screaming kids after school and on weekends cuz you know damn well they’re not gonna tell her that at the office. No thanks, she said. She also said she was not sure if she was gonna return to Reno or stay here. I gave her my number, then forgot all about her till she called and left a message. She’s managing a place where they do topless, nude and private dancing with top-notch security. She really wants me to work for her. I’ve got her on hold.

When I move I’ll be 20 minutes away from work. Steve says he’ll still drive me home and flat rate me $5. That’s nice, but I’d really like to find a place closer to where I’ll be living and also where I may make more money.

Last night Andy and I went to the Valley West Mall and I got my picture taken. Next Friday I have to go over my proofs.

While I was there I got some killer clothes. A short pair of orange shorts with orange fringes off the bottom around the thighs. It also has a black ring buckle-like thing at the front of the waist with diamonds around it. At first, I thought my thighs would be too big for them, but it’s actually very slimming on me. I also got a gorgeous red shirt. It’s got open shoulders, so to speak, with colored glass stones around the chest area. I got one other shirt. It’s a black silk-like half-shirt with ruffles and white daisy flowers across the chest. The two shirts and the shorts cost $28. I also got a pair of very comfortable black pumps for $10. They’re 3” high. Lastly, I got 4 very nice journals, so now I have a grand total of 44. They cost me $30.

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 23, 1993 I have a million things to write about, so I’ll get started. Kara’s leaving tomorrow with a friend to Vegas for two weeks. She said she’d write. Tomorrow I have to call channel 10 to try to get a tape for Andy. I also must call Laurie to bring me to work and Steve to let him know I’ll need to be picked up.

It’s gonna be really hard to get up tomorrow since I slept till 7:00 this evening.

Andy’s party went over well and tomorrow is his day off. I really hope he doesn’t wake me up. He picked up another CD by Linda for me. Canciones di mi Padre. I also got a CD I ordered by mail called Instrumental Magic.

Earlier Fran tried to call me while my ringer was off, but I guess he spoke to Andy. Andy left him and Fran talking on my machine and I guess Fran mentioned Tracy staying at LaRagione’s. I was there as a foster kid of Harry and Ann B when I was 16.

I’ve called Nervous a few times and I called Kim once. Bob, of course, still has no phone. I just sent him and everyone else I know a letter.

I’ve told Tammy and my mom about the latest news with Capitol Records. I’ve also sent Mom and Dad a tape. I edited their message when they got sick.

Scott took me to the ER last week and I have forms to give them at work. I never made it to the doctor’s today, but at least I got my refills and am over the flu. It sure does feel good to be back from the deathbed. That was my first flu in a year. The last flu was when I was in CT.

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 16, 1993 I fell asleep yesterday morning at 8:00 and got up at 12:30. My flu was worse today, but now it’s better, thank God.

Today, or yesterday I should say, was Andy’s 31st birthday. He got cards from family and friends as well as phone calls. At work, a girl made him a cake. He gave me some and it was good.

He had to go to a friend’s house and he stopped at the store for me which was nice. He got me something called Drixoral and it’s helped a lot. He also got fruit juice and popcorn for me. I had a raging fever and was very congested in the chest. My back was so sore, achy and tight, but the Drixoral helped.

Even at 27, I still feel the need to call Mommy when I get sick. When we kids were sick, as well as with our material needs, Mom was great. She’s still sick too, and has been for two weeks.

Andy thanked her for sending me to Phoenix.

We also called Tammy.

I called the phone company today and they had just gotten my $50 deposit for Sprint. Today I should have long-distance, but I do have my caller ID. Andy and Laurie are getting blocks, so I won’t know when they’re calling.

I called the doctor’s office and the soonest they can get me in is next Monday at 4:15. I called Omar’s and told this to the woman who answered.

Tomorrow night Andy’s having 10 people over for his birthday party. I’m not looking forward to that with the way I’m feeling, but anything’s better than his sister and nephew.

I fell asleep last night from 10:30 - 1:00 AM and I hope to fall asleep soon.

The drugstore will be delivering prescriptions tomorrow. The nurse at the doctor’s office said she called in something.

Tonight I’m supposed to get together with Scott, but we’ll see how I feel. Maybe I’ll have him stop up here.

Two nights ago Andy and I called Nerv. I spoke for the first 10 minutes, but he was boring. Then when Andy started talking he became totally silent but never hung up till we ditched him 15 minutes later.

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 15, 1993 Around 6 AM yesterday morning I began to have a slight sore throat. Miraculously, I slept solidly from 8 AM-4 PM. When I awoke I knew I had a cold. I called the bar and was given Omar’s number (the owner). Some woman answered saying I may have to show a doctor’s note or be fired unless there are enough girls. I do need to get in to see my doctor anyway, but I don’t know how soon I can. Paying a fine is out of the question and they have way way way too many girls on. Why is cuz 16 out of Omar’s 17 bars were shut down. It was a 1-year court order for tax evasion. He could’ve afforded it, he just didn’t pay it and I heard he practically pulled the $150,000 he owed right out of his pocket. The guy’s filthy rich and lives in Paradise Valley in a 4,000-square-foot house, so he doesn’t need my fine. What it is is that people are greedy even when they already have millions. The dancers make enough money to be fined, whereas the bouncers and everyone else don’t. Yeah, I’ve heard strange stories about Omar, but hey, he’s a fucking Arab so I’m not surprised.

I just pray to God that whatever I have doesn’t get any worse. I need to work next Wednesday. Why couldn’t this have happened before I got this job? Mom, Dad, Tammy, Andy have all gone through this and I guess it’s my turn. First time in a year, though, luckily.

Earlier this evening, it was Kara to the rescue. She came over and whacked my back to help bring the goop up. She and I made popcorn and listened to about 15 minutes of tapes of Nervous, Fran, Andy and me. I knew I had to lay low to try to beat this cold, but you know I can’t sit still. I’ve never had a cold, yet been so good mentally if you know what I mean. All my other colds and flues, I was stuck in Norwich, Crackfield or Deadfield. Isolated or surrounded by dope heads, fires, and people slamming the walls. Or in Valleyhead, Brattleboro, or home. I even forced myself to sing as a last resort to this having to worsen. Music’s my medicine.

Andy came over and I gave him some money I owed him for long-distance calls on his phone. I also showed him some awesome envelopes I decorated.

He picked me up (with my money) a CD of Linda’s called Prisoner in Disguise. There are lots of old songs I love to sing on there.

His friend Adam from Springfield sent two out of the 3 Amy Fisher movies. I’d seen two of them, but Andy saw only one. It’s all about this 17-year-old girl obsessed with a married man that shoots his wife, who survives. It’s a true story.

It sure was funny seeing all the old familiar news people during news updates. The emergency weather bulletin was saying how roads were sheets of ice, it was freezing cold rain, the snow turned to ice and there were multi-car pile-ups. I saw all the footage during the weather updates and laughed.

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 14, 1993 I cut $134 tonight! This sure makes up for the 3 days I worked before this. It was dead. I only made between $50 and $80.

Monday I should have my long-distance service and my Caller ID. They delivered the Caller ID box a few days ago. I programmed my phone with new phone numbers. I also took out old numbers. Such as Dennis’s and Randy’s. Randy apparently moved. These are the people’s numbers I’ll have: Andy, Laurie, John, my number (for when I page people) Fran, Nervous, Tammy, Mom and Dad, voice messaging, my code, Scott, Dr. Kareus, the apartment office, Kara, Mary, bank, Stephanie, my account number, my social security number, Velma and work.

Tim said Angie and Vicki decided not to call me back cuz I am only looking for one-nighters. This is so weird. I can understand the fear of AIDS, but very few people want or can deal with a relationship any more than I can. Everyone’s into sex and fun. Also, so many others, like me, can’t deal with the shit involved in relationships and they don’t want to be tied down. Do I lie and tell people I want a relationship? Then dump them even if it hurts them cuz that’s life? You win some, you lose some. Then again, I know I’m not destined for even a one-nighter for years.

Later…

So much for trying to go to sleep. I really wish I could, though, cuz of the bitch next door. On the weekend (especially Sundays) it sounds like the bitch is shooting basketballs off the walls. I’ll also have to deal with her on Monday cuz it’s President’s Day. Well, like I said, if I can’t sleep on Sundays, she can’t sleep at 2 AM on Mondays.

Last summer while I was still in the first-floor apartment next to Mark, Andy got a note on his door. It definitely looked like a female wrote it, but it said it was a gay, free male who’d seen Andy a lot at the pool. They wanted to meet him and said to leave a reply taped to the fire extinguisher. Back then he suspected Mark and his girlfriend Michelle. I’m sure they’re no longer together as most couples aren’t that long. Especially people like him and her. Anyway, I took an envelope and wrote his name and address as the return address. I made up a bogus name and address to be sent to, and of course, it’ll be sent back to him marked return-to-sender. With the note enclosed, of course. I also signed her name at the bottom of the note.

Now here’s the Celeste story. And like most stories, it never amounts to anything. I’m glad, though, for two reasons. I’ll explain why through the story. Last Thursday night at work I gave this guy named Joe a table dance. After that, he asked me about a threesome with him and his wife. I explained I was gay and liked feminine women with no male involved, but he could easily find a bi woman through The New Times. So, he said he could keep out of it and let me and his feminine wife alone together. He said they have an open marriage, but she’d never go for a relationship. I said I couldn’t either. They were looking for an apartment, but currently, they’re in a motel. He gave me their number.

I called after work and she promised to keep him out of the picture. She also confessed to doing Crystal. Do I look like a druggie? Or an alkie? What do these people see in me? Why do I attract them? So, they say I shouldn’t blame myself, but I feel I could be in a room with 99 sober people and one druggie. That’s the one I’d get. No matter how I looked. No matter what I said. No matter how I acted. No matter what mood I was in. The drugs are one reason I won’t get involved with her. The other is that there’s always a fucking male in the middle of these kinds of things. When there’s a male involved, he cannot stay out of it. I’m afraid of her coming over, and then he shows up. Another reminder from God that lust ain’t meant to be.

Well, I’m gonna go try to hit the sack now before that bitch next door wakes me up in 3 hours.

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 12, 1993 I have lots to write about, but I’m off tomorrow, so I’ll get caught up now.

I must call the bank, the phone company, Kara, Joe and Celeste. I need to call Joe to bitch him out. Celeste is another story I’ll get into later. I still haven’t called Willie yet.

As far as getting my hair straightened, well, it was a bust. My hair’s still quite curly. Velma did trim my bangs OK and she gave me some nice hair care products. I gave her $15 for her birthday. She said she’d try straightening my hair again for free on the 22nd, but I’m sure it won’t work. She also mentioned getting a straightening iron for me, too. Maybe she’d rather buy me the iron, rather than spend all that time again straightening my hair. I don’t think it’ll work a second time if it failed the first.

The other day Andy told me he called Judy at the office and he asked her to come over. Without asking why she and Stacey went over and he showed them how those fucking kids were playing on his stairs. I went and told Stacey exactly how I feel about the kids here as well as the too-thin walls. As figured, she said she couldn’t chain me to my door, but that if I leave she’ll send a bill to me and my parents. She did say she agrees with me as far as the kids should be separated from those without kids. Also, she “does not not like me.”

She lied about 3 things, though. One, she said there were only 4 kids here. Two, no one else has ever complained about the kids except me and Andy. Three, it’s against the law to separate kids from adults. All this is bullshit. I have plenty of reliable sources and references.

Andy gave me a survey form that goes directly to the management company. I wrote all about Stacey, the kids, and the walls being so thin. Ever since I turned Andi next door in for having all those kids, she’s been noisier. I still basically don’t hear her as she’s never home, but on Sundays, it sounds like the walls are gonna cave in. She even drove Mary nuts. I need my sleep on Sundays cuz I dance Sunday nights. I swear I’m gonna wake her up when I come in early Monday morning if she keeps this up. Twice she’s done this. Speaking of Mary, well she’s a great person. She’s given me about 4-5 rides since we met and I helped her get newspapers into the recycling bin. She calls me up whenever she wants predictions or vibes on anything.

A few days ago I got a call from a woman from some sales and advertising business. She asked me a trivia question about Paul Newman. What’s he known for besides acting? I had 3 choices and I picked salad dressing which was the correct answer. I got several coupons for restaurants, Riverside Resort in Nevada, 25% off upholstery and Montgomery/Ward photo studios. The Nevada and upholstery deal, I’ll probably never use, but I used one restaurant coupon the night Andy, Stephanie and I went out to dinner. At the photo studio at Valley West Mall, I get four 8x10s and a framed 11x14. The only thing that sucks about this deal is that each photo sitting must be 4 months apart. Soon, I’m gonna make an appointment when Andy can take me there on my night off. There better be no catch either.

A deliveryman brought this package over and I paid $20.

The other night at work I bought a $30 dress. A purple satin one with matching G-string, and along the chest part of the dress are feathers. I like it, but the feathers keep falling out. There are 2 things I want to get for work. Boots, rather than shoes so I am cushioned a little more when I kneel down. Gloves would be more comfortable too, when I’m leaning on my arms. It’ll also hide my nails if there are ever days when I wasn’t in the mood to polish them. Great way to cover up polished nails when the polish starts chipping.

Kim left a message telling me Bob’s in trouble, accused of raping a 12-year-old girl. She said she doesn’t know if he’s in jail. She’s also not sure if he’s gonna skip out and head on out here.

Despite the statistics, I believe he’s innocent. The guy’s so weak, even a 12-year-old girl could fight him off.

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 10, 1993 I got a letter from Bob today as well as a million things to write about. First, let me say that I’ve come up with a unique, yet very accurate way to describe life on my own since December 3rd of 1985. From Crack Alley to the boonies to a madhouse to the funny farm to Phoenix to exotic dancing. Neat, huh?

On Monday, Everett came to fix my door with perfect timing which was at 2:40. He did a great job.

Good news for me, but not for Andy. His sister and nephew are not coming! No motels to worry about now. Marla’s pregnant so she can’t come out here till after the baby’s born. By then Andy and I won’t be here.

Still have discharges downstairs. Oh well. What else is new?

Andy, Stephanie and I went out to an Italian place for dinner. The place was dead, but the food was good.

I’m still getting used to all this extra money. I guess it’d also take some getting used to for a person who always had money that went broke. I can now afford the weekly TV guide, rather than go chase down people’s TV time sections of their Sunday papers.

I can get lots of stamps, too. I just sent Fran a picture of Kara which he’s wanted. I also sent him and Nerv two blooper pictures of Andy in San Francisco. Since I’m much busier, my letters to everyone will be slowing down. Just like with my journal writing. I’m especially gonna slow down my letters to my nieces. I’m a bit disappointed as I haven’t gotten a letter since last August. No letters about school, holidays, vacations or the letters and money I’ve sent.

Thanks to Andy, he’s gotten me into another neat hobby. Envelope decorating. I also got these really cool changeable markers. Six different colors that can be changed with a special marker. If I used purple and scratched over it with a clear marker, it changes it to pink. You can use either the changer marker first, or the regular ones first.

Later…

Andy and I have been passing messages all night long. A great way to clear our minds of whatever without interrupting each other.

He’s talking about apartment sharing with Stephanie. I told him to do whatever he wants, but I have a bad feeling as I did with a guy named Chris he took in a short while. With the way I can read people and I warned him about Chris, Nancy and others, I say they’ll fuck each other over and kill their friendship. He needs his space like I do, even if the person were perfect. She has friends that are all current or past druggies and alkies. She’s 41 and still trusting the wrong types to be alone in her apartment to rip her off. If she let someone in like that, they could rip him off too, or maybe she’d rip him off. I can also see her coming in wasted with wasted friends. And also fighting over chores and bills.

Laurie and Fran got their numbers changed. Laurie due to her baby’s father harassing her. Fran due to the typical story. He gets harassed, changes his number every two months, then gives his number to the same people who were harassing him before.

I got up the bravery to call this number Tim gave me. I spoke to Angie, but Vicki wasn’t home. We had a nice talk and I gave her my number. Neither of them returned my call and I won’t call them. I can only initiate so much. I like to chase and play games, but only if there’s something there to do so with.

A few mornings ago, very early, like 5 AM Eastern time, Andy and I called Kim who was just getting up. It was -3º! We talked about shit in general. She got my letters and thinks my job is great and is so happy for me. I may get a letter from her soon. She also told me something about Bob being sued for stealing someone’s grill. With that and his playing around with young kids, we both believe he is innocent, despite all the statistics. We called Fran too, but he was on his way to bed. We called Nervous who was drunk off his ass big time. He would not stay on the phone longer than 5 minutes, but I got a few great lines. We tried calling Barbara but got no answer. Fran called earlier about us all ranking on Nervous, but I was on the phone about to go out to dinner. That’s how it usually works.

Later…

Last Saturday I got a message from Mom and Dad. They were both very sick with colds, yet their message was a classic. I’m gonna edit it and send it to them. I had Kara call them and they called me. We had an excellent talk. I respect their opinions, and even though they don’t approve of it they are at least happy I’m happy. However, I’m still upset with Ma for ditching my pictures. I still do intend to talk to her about it, too.

Soon I’ll be having Sprint for long-distance and Caller ID.

Later…

I slept 9 hours yesterday and I sure needed it, but today I won’t sleep too much. I probably won’t conk out till 9:00 and I want to be up by 3:00.

Scott came into where I work last Sunday night. Sundays are dead, so I’m glad he did. I cut $59 and without him, I’d have only cut $39. Now that he’s gotten to know me, he’s told me more personal things about himself, but he really is a cool guy. He ain’t your TM (typical male) and he really only comes in to see me. I never danced for him as he’d rather talk which is cool. I asked if he could take me home after work, but I could be fired cuz it’s against the rules, so I couldn’t let him drive me.

Since John’s working at Circle K, a convenience store, and not driving, Steve sometimes drives me. He’s Corey’s regular driver (Corey’s another dancer) and when he takes us both he charges us only $3 each.

Laurie will be back at Denny’s part-time, so she won’t always be able to pick me up to bring me home.

Kara’s been babysitting a lot for Laurie. I called Kara and told her I haven’t forgotten about her, but I just realized I was supposed to call her when I got in from dinner. Oh well. I do, though, really want to see her on my next day off.

John called to say hi a few times and he’s now in his own apartment.

A close friend of Scott’s had a heart attack, but within a few days, he’ll talk to Bill Toddman at Capitol Records. He’s also gonna let me know about a dinner he needs someone to go with to for rich businessmen.

I met another fairly decent guy, and they do come in here and there, who knows a feminine gay woman who also likes other fems. He’s gonna try getting her number so I can play with her head. Again, never to the degree most people go to. He told me two very important things. Never forget her name - Jennifer - or she’ll be furious. The first bill he hands me will have her number if she’s agreed to give it to me.

I haven’t heard from Joe and I am gonna call him and give him a piece of my mind, despite being used to false promises.

I told Kara to tell her dad to forget the Polaroid and to say no the next time I ask to borrow something, rather than keep me hanging. John says he thinks he can get access to one, though.

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 8, 1993 I can’t sleep yet, so I figured I’d write. Today marks one year since the ultimate nightmare began (of all my time being on my own). This was the day I moved to CT. I feel two things when I remember that. One is I cringe with horror, depression and anxiety. The other, I laugh as I’m long gone. In about 6 hours from now, adding the 2-hour difference I was crying my eyes out. Tammy and I realized we were bullshitted by Mary Jane. We discovered their apartment next door goes over part of mine and the walls are paper-thin. I remember being in the tub hearing every word they’d say next door and wishing I had a shower. I remember how filthy the place was and trying to fit my furniture in. Boy, have I come a long way!

However, I’m out of here, too. I most certainly wouldn’t say these walls are paper-thin. I’d say a few layers of cardboard. There also aren’t 4 kids next to me and not a million outside, but there are still a few too many. Way more than enough. These apartments, as well as the grounds, are beautiful, but I’ve had it and I’m finally (after 3 years) gonna get a place where I can sleep anytime. With no music and where my sleep’s guaranteed unless I wake up on my own. No more am I going to sleep with a 50/50 chance of not being woken up by someone banging in the building. I’m also sick of those fucking kids outside screaming on weekends and after school. I was told it was quiet here and they never told me these walls were too thin. I didn’t come here to pay for thin walls and screaming kids. I never asked for that in my rent. Even if I were a day person, when I want to hear my TV, that’s all I want to hear. Not the kids too, or others in this building. Laurie and others have moved for the same reasons. I know I’m far from the first person to complain and I know I’ll be far from the last.

Tuesday I’m gonna tell Stacey the facts and she’s either gonna let me out of my lease or we’ll go to court. My parents won’t give them a dime. I will give them 30 days’ notice and they can also keep their deposit.

Tomorrow I get my hair chemically straightened. Velma will be picking me up at 3:00. I hope I fall asleep by 6:00. I hope many times over that I sleep straight through till 2:00.

That new asshole maintenance guy never fixed my fucking sliding door. I left a message for them to remember not to knock before 2:00 and I put a note on my door, but I’m sure the guys will fuck up. Some people just don’t give a shit.

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 4, 1993 I made a lousy $71 tonight, but it sure beats SSI, doesn’t it?

There are two new gorgeous dancers, and Tim, who I thought was Jim, gave me a number of some friends he knows. Tim’s the bouncer, in case I forgot to mention. It’s what he swears is a feminine couple, Vicki and Angie who know a lot of people, but I still just don’t know. I just want to play the game people play (to a degree), but this is a good friend of Tim’s. Tim’s a very good guy, so I’d assume he’d have some pretty decent friends. However, I’m tired of the same old one-sided and non-mutual deal. If it lusts for me, I don’t lust for it. If I lust for it, it don’t lust for me. It’ll also either smother me or say they’ll call or see you and it never does.

Linda was really getting fun to play with and I’m shocked she’s never called again. She told me she wasn’t giving up on me so I’m shocked she did.

Kara taped a Gloria special from the radio for me last Saturday night while I was working. I haven’t heard it all yet, but why on earth did she go and cut her hair?

Still haven’t heard from Bob.

Andy and I spoke to Tammy last week and we had a nice talk. Tammy’s so thrilled and grateful for the money I’m sending her to help her out. She says Mom and Dad can understand why I’m doing what I’m doing with all the money I’m making and my loving to dance, but they’re shocked. I would be too, if I ever knew I’d be doing this.

I finally got Tammy’s package. There was a huge paint-by-number, which honestly bores me, so I gave it to Kara. I also gave Kara a box of crayons and a book of crossword puzzles she sent. I kept the word find puzzles and the nice package of magic markers. She also sent colored pencils and some food like popcorn, pudding, cupcakes and soup. I used the markers to make awesome decorations on the front and back of the envelopes. They do a good job of concealing. I sent her cash in 4 envelopes. I told her to call me to tell me she got 4, in white, pink, green and orange. I’ve also been decorating envelopes for others.

Last Sunday night, John was in and he met Scott. I gave him a tape of me singing two full songs and I hope to hear from him soon. Maybe I can call him and I also want to check out where he lives just in case when my lease is up. He says he has a 2-bedroom apartment which is 1200 square feet and costs $537 per month. It has super thick walls and he can’t hear a thing. He also says they separate kids, adults and the elderly the way it should be everywhere.

A week ago Andy called and I simply told him for the millionth time to keep our business ours. He’s been fine so far.

Laurie’s a cool person and she’s been my driver. She’s not sure if she wants to audition or not.

Last Saturday night was a shocker for me when both Andy and Stephanie showed up at the club. They were very complimentary about how much my dancing’s improved. Also about my body which is better, but still needs improvement. I think everyone always feels that way about their bodies.

That night both Laurie and Kara came to get me. They were out earlier drinking together.

At first, Tim and others could swear Andy was a girl. He and I were laughing about this, as I say there’s a difference between girls and fags.

Later…

I decided I wanted a bigger calendar, so I cut up my teddy bear calendar to decorate my journals with. I made a calendar for now. I also need to reprogram numbers into my phone as well as delete some, such as Dennis’s and asshole Ellie’s.

I haven’t heard from Randy, so who knows what he’s up to?

I was reading back in journal 7, cracking up over certain stuff. Like how I thought my asthma would be better with moving back to Woodside Terrace. Little did I know the sheer hell I was to go through there! Saying moist air helps when it really makes it worse was dumb. Of course, I also didn’t realize how bad the stench of the Mill River got and how bad the neighborhood got. Not that it’d be long before the harsh reality hit me. I just didn’t want to believe how bad that area became cuz I wanted my old apartment back badly. I never realized how fast an area can go to hell either. There were also some funny mistakes as well as stuff that made no sense.

I must call Velma at 6:00 this morning. Andy gave me her number. I want her to trim my bangs and straighten my hair.

Here’s a list of some things I’d like. Some of them, though, I’m not in a dire hurry for. I’d like my phone blocks to be removed so I can call long-distance. A pair of new heels, my CD player fixed (Not the portable one Steve gave me. The one I bought a few days before I moved to S Deerfield), a color TV, a better microwave, maybe cable, and a vacuum like Andy’s like I had back east. Definitely a major shopping spree one of these days.

Well, now it’s time once again for a cigarette break.

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 1, 1993 Well, here I am and I am feeling just fine. I’ve never ever been happier in my whole life. It feels so good. Now, 26½ years of misery is just a memory. Only two ER visits since coming here sure are better than more. I’ve only had two depressing spells which were a joke and they didn’t last long. It was over food and money when I first got here. I only wish I’d begun this job right after I first got here. I also wish I’d moved here long ago, but I know there are a time and reason for everything. I’m sure all the misery I went through as a kid and since being on my own was a survival test. God only knows how in the hell I did survive. But going through all I did surely makes you more sensitive and open-minded. It makes you not as naïve and enables you to read people well.

Earlier Fran called. We called Kara, but she was busy giving Ashley a bath. She’s going to Vegas for two weeks with an old girlfriend. Fran called Nervous and I called Andy. I taped it.

Then, I treated Andy to Red Lobster where we ordered shrimp. The bill was $32 and I left a $4 tip.

I’m watching Hunter now and Andy and I were laughing our asses off earlier. Back east it’s 0º with wind chills of -40º.

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funshinebf · 1 year ago

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having divorced parents and one parent that abused you while the other was actually really awesome is so wild cause its like. yes i had a bad childhood yes i had a good childhood. my dad always seems to feel so guilty for me and my brother being so messed up but its so hard to explain how bad it was at my moms. and even still i have the problem of having a complicated relationship with my mom so any discussion of things shes done to me make me feel bad like its unfair to her. like i love my mom and i always will but she has improved so much over the years, and not living with her has improved my life. i could never cut her off and i dont really want to anyway, but sometimes im jealous of people who can go no contact and not look back. i think its also more complicated cause i have two sisters that are much younger than me so its like i can see all the places my moms improved from my childhood in how she raises them. i think parents are destined to fail their children in some areas. i think even the most well meaning parents will still make mistakes and be human. but being human itself makes harming people and being harmed inevitable. its just the reality, everyone you know will let you down in some way or another. but i think the world looks brighter once you start to accept this. it sounds like im being cynical and negative, but i think it makes me quicker to forgive people and continue moving forward. if i can understand their motivations for what harmed me i can forgive them. but when i dont understand why they would do that to someone i start to feel truly wronged by it. if i cant find a good enough reason to justify harming someone then i cant forgive it and i cant get rid of the scars it leaves. i cant forget it. i could never do that to someone. how could anybody do that to someone. my intrusive thoughts alone send me into a guilt ridden trance as soon as they form, i could never understand being able to hurt someone so purposefully. for what? amusement? what could someone possibly gain from that? what could they gain that would erase any of the guilt? i think my least favorite type of person is the person that recognized that ive been hurt before, and targets me because of it. i hate when i share my weaknesses with someone and they use it to manipulate me and harm me even more. its happened more times than id like to admit. usually im not too burdened by my scars. the weights on my shoulders have settled into a dull ache. but then, like tripping over a pebble and splitting my brain on the curb, all it takes is one person with ill intentions to send me into another state of constant aching. i want to be stronger. i want to be less trusting. but how could feeling less love be beneficial? when such simple, unassuming kindnesses from others send me into a joyful daze? i love the world, i love people, i love the glimpses of warmth in a vast, cold sea. if i dont let myself feel things then i cant enjoy things either. so i let myself stay soft, and trusting, and far too genuine far too early. i wouldnt trade the love for anything else. if i can continue to feel love then i can handle any pain. anyways im high as all fuck and in therapist mode really badly so im gonna stop spilling my guts on a public website full of people i want to like me and not think im weird. like yeah okay idgaf about EVERY tumblr users opinion but like i have friends on here and potential friends and irl friends that see my posts. i want them to like me because i love having these connections, no matter how brief. im doing it again im just gonna hit post and hope for the best

#my post #long #ask to tag #uhhhh #almost tagged this as just 'disorders' and nothing else

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dragons-and-yellow-roses · 2 years ago

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God I need therapy

#falling in love with a friend? in /my/ brain?? its more likely than you think #okay maybe love is a strong word. like i love this friend but im not in love with her #and maybe im more in love with the idea of her?#like. she is the sweetest person ive ever met. she has such a dry wit and interesting speaking mannerisms #interesting isnt the right word but its the best one i could think of #like. this person randomly says shes vegan in situations that dont require it. and shes not even vegan #me: can you help me lift this? her: no sorry im vegan #its just so undeniably her and its so endearing #its impossible to say no to her because she has such a sunshiney smile and personality #also. another fun thing. at camp (where we met and worked together) i had to carry a radio cuz i was an area director #but my staff. especially her. loved to steal that radio. and i didnt care because they never called anyone they just fucked around #and these radios have a button on them that just makes a beep. like thats all that the button does #so everyone would pretend its a gun and would 'shoot' people #so sometimes id realize my radio was missing. look around. see her holding it. aimed at me #shed do her cute sunshiney smile before 'shooting' me #smiling as she kills me #whoch is obviously something to fall in love with #none of this is related to why i need therapy btw #the reason i thought 'god i need therapy' was because i was thinking about her. as i do. and i started to picture a life together?#i really love her parents and younger brother and i thought 'yeah id like to be a part of that family'#that is what prompted my thought of needing therapy. imagining myself in a different family #yeah i definitely have parent issues #but like. it would be so nice. to have a relationship with her. to have a connection with her family #god i need therapy holy shit #and a nap. im going to work 5am-3pm for the next two days #i have too much going on to be imagining a life with her... but like. a life with her sounds so lovely #why does therapy have to be so expensive. i need to work out my parent issues #send thoughts and prayers. and money if you want to fund my therapy so you dont have to read posts like this anymore #for my shift. i have to wake up at 4am. or maybe. i could just stay awake until 4am. and then work until 3pm. this plan is foolproof #im going to collapse

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blueathens · 3 years ago

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Coup De Foudre

Act 1, Scene 1

Song: Whatta Man by Salt-N-Pepa Quote: 'They say when you meet the love of your life, time stops.'

TW: Mention of Attempted Suicide, Drugs, Injections, Blood

Masterlist//Agape Masterlist

Ring.

"Hello?" The girl said as she pressed the green button on her phone, not looking at the ID of the caller, as she was too busy getting her bag out from the backseat of her car.

"Kasey! Are you working yet?"

"Dad? Not yet, I'm just outside of it, but I've got some minutes to spare before my shift starts."

"TK will probably tell you everything soon, like he normally does, but he wanted me to warn you beforehand of what happened and how sorry he is."

Kasey closed the car door at the sound of her dad's stressed voiced. She could imagine his hand rubbing down his face as if he was tired, but she was surprised he hasn't started sighing yet.

"Dad? You're scaring me." She told him as she leant against her black Land Rover, her blue bag that contained her uniform was on one of her shoulders and her right hand tapped her thigh as she waited in anticipation of what her dad, more like TK, wanted to tell her.

"TK overdosed last night."

Those four words made the air from her lungs disappear. He promised he wouldn't do it again. He promised her and the their parents that he wouldn’t go near them again. But somewhere in Kasey didn’t care that he broke his promise, that wasn’t important to her right now, all she wanted to know was that he was okay, that he wasn’t alone, that he was with someone right now who is telling him everything is going to be okay, holding him, and making him know it isn’t his fault.

Kasey wished that she was there, making sure TK was alright as she wasn’t there for him last time, she didn’t want him to think that she didn’t care, when really she cares a lot and just wants him to be okay.

Her mouth opened, then closed, then opened once more before closing again. She didn’t know what to say, what to ask…maybe that was due to fear as she would have to find out why he did it, why he overdosed again, and Kasey worried that it had something to do with them…she worried that maybe she didn’t protect her older brother enough…Kasey was worried for him, and Owen knew that the moment silence overtook Kasey.

"Is he okay?"

"TK is in the car right now and we're heading to-"

"Is TK okay?" She repeated herself, stressing each word to make it clear how important it was for her to know if he was fine.

"I'm fine Kas." When Kasey heard TK's voice it was like she could breathe again.

She blew out a deep breath, nodding as she kicked the ground before clicking her car keys to make sure the doors were locked before heading inside the firehouse. But she paused, hesitating slightly to think of what to ask next. She didn’t want TK to think she was disappointed or angry at him, that was the last thing she wanted him to think when it was untrue. She wasn’t feeling any negative emotion towards him, to her maybe, but to him she could only feel worry.

“TK,” she utters, pausing again to think of the right words to say to him, and she bit her lips when she heard of him say ‘yeah’ on the other line. She repeated his name once more, speaking it softly like a mother would to a child who scrapped their knees.

She paused once more before asking him something else.

"Why you do it TK?" Her voice still wasn't demanding, instead it was calm and gentle like turtledove, and behind that softness was curiosity, she needed to know what she didn’t protect her brother from well enough...and despite it not being her fault, Kasey felt like it was.

"You was doing so well. You are doing so well. But - I just thought you stopped." And her voice stayed gentle, not an ounce of disappointment was heard within it, and this soothed TK a lot. Out of everybody, his younger sister was the most important thing to him as they went through every happiness and every pain together. And he also knew that she would understand the whole situation better than anyone else, not just because she understood him, but because of her past.

"I proposed to him."

"Alex?" Kasey waved at Buck when she saw him talking to the team, which lead to the entire team turning around to see who he was beaming at, only realising it was their missing piece who they also smiled and waved at. Kasey leant against the wall as she waited for TK to continue. She heard him take a deep, shaky breath out and it was like she could feel his pain.

"And he was in love with someone else."

Kasey head hit the wall behind her, making her wince slightly and the team to look at her with confused looks which she just replied with a thumbs up. She took a deep breath out and ran her hand through her brown locks, she closed her eyes, cursing herself for not taking the time to meet Alex properly, to make sure he was a good guy and wouldn’t hurt her brother.

Yet here they are – and Kasey did feel like all of this was her fault, it was her job to protect her brother, something she vowed to herself when they were seven, and here she was years later facing all the times she let him down.

"I always hated the guy." She told him with a small smile at her lips. She heard the two male Strands laugh. They knew that she never liked the guy – TK knew this by the way of Kasey hardly coming down to visit them and the few times she did she only put up with him for TK. "I get to punch him right? I find him next time I'm visiting you up in New York and - did you say you were in the car?"

"Don't worry the speakers on." Owen reassured his daughter.

"Where you going?"

"Texas."

And Kasey was about to reply before she looked up and caught eyes with someone new.

And when his eyes caught hers he could feel his breath hitch. She looked away but his eyes stayed on her figure that stood by the wall, near the entry of the firehouse, whilst she talked on the phone. He felt his heart skip several beats when they eyes locked onto each other, even if it was just for a second. That second felt longer than it was. And he knew that they were too far away from each other, but he knew that she was beautiful. She was indescribably beautiful. And he felt ridiculous for feeling like this. He hasn't even spoken to the girl, nor seen her longer than a few seconds. But his hands felt sweaty, and his heart was thumping harder and faster than it has ever done before. His mind went blank, and he felt dizzy. And the butterflies in his stomach has never fluttered as powerful as it is right now.

Coup de foudre: Love at first sight.

They say when you meet the love of your life, time stops. You'll never forget the moment you met the person you love. The smallest details will still be vivid in your mind, and they'll likely stay there forever. It's like time stopped, and you were able to take this photograph in your brain to remember years later. And never has any two quotes ever fitted so well with the way someone felt.

Because when Eddie saw her, time stopped.

And this has never happened to him before. Not even with his ex-wife. To be exact the feelings he was experiencing was never this wild for her. And this was scaring Eddie because why is a girl he doesn't even know making him feel like he's on top of the world?

Eddie didn't believe it was love at first sight as he was one of those people who didn't believe in it, he find it ridiculous really . But when he looks at her from across the room, his belief feels stupid. But he knew it wasn't love, not yet at least, because the reason he didn't believe in love at first sight was because he needed to know the person. He saw her smile a perfect smile and his stomach fluttered once more. And his heart whispered to him...her...and maybe it wasn't exactly love...not just yet...but it was a sudden attraction to her...to know everything about her. To be the reason to make her happy. And maybe it was ridiculous, but Eddie Diaz was infatuated with Kasey Strand without even knowing her.

Maybe it was love at first sight to some people...but for Eddie this was attraction at first sight. The attraction before the fall.

It was like she was a magnet pulling him in and he prayed that it would never repel.

They say when you meet the love of your life, time stops. But eventually time catches up and you come back to reality. And in reality Eddie only looked at her for a few seconds or else it would have been weird. But it felt as if he looked at her forever, and yet it still wasn’t long enough.

He looked back down, adjusting his shirt to perfection for his first day with a shake of his head and a small smile.

Kasey coughed slightly when she looked away from the man she caught eyes with for a second before looking elsewhere, hand to the back of her neck as she rubbed it slightly whilst her brows furrowed in thought of what they just said.

"Texas? As in Cowboy Land?"

"Yep."

"I can picture you two wearing cowboy hats."

"Does it suit us?"

"Of course it does, Strands suit everything." TK laughed out.

"Why you going there?" Kasey question, putting her hand down, before turning to her side so her shoulder leant against the wall.

"You left New York for a fresh start and so are we." Owen said to her.

"It's closer to you as well, only under 3 hours roughly." TK piped in.

"I think a fresh start be good for you." Kasey said sincerely,.

"TK's getting therapy twice a week." Owen started and Kasey immediately closed her eyes knowing where this was going. "Are you still going to-"

"No I'm not dad."

"Why not? You've been through-"

"I just can't, okay!" She sighed before continued. "Look, I need to go. I'll call you later. I love you both."

"We love you too Kas." TK said with a smile.

"Kas-"

"Bye...bye...going now...bye." She quickly hang up and stuffed her phone into her jean pocket, rubbed her face, sighing, and then moved towards where the Buck was waiting for her.

"Who were you speaking to?" Buck asked as his arm immediately went round her shoulder.

"My dad and brother."

"Are they doing okay?" His small fell from his usual smile to a frown when he noticed doleful look upon her face, no sight of the smile she gave him when she entered.

"Yeah," Kasey nodded. "They're going to better after the big move from New York to Texas."

"Moving?" He questioned. "Why?"

"Fresh start."

"Hey," Buck quickly changed the conversation when he felt her go stiff under his arm. "I dropped another half percent."

"Good for you." Kasey asked as her mind was already distracted by the memory of the new guy. The new guy her whole team, except her and Buck were talking too. "Who's the pretty guy?"

"That's Eddie Diaz, he's new to the team." Buck answered her, slightly annoyed that they were talking about him.

"And?"

"Top of his class. Station Six were dying to have him, but Bobby convinced him to join us."

"He must be good if he got Mr Bobby Nash and Station Six fighting for him."

"Apparently he was an Army Medic." Buck said gruffly. "And I told those three idiots that we already have a solider."

"Yeah, but I wasn't an Army Medic, Buck."

"He only got a Silver Star. Whilst you got that and the Distinguished Service Cross."

"Buck, this isn't a competition. A Silver Star is a big deal. Hell, a medal or no medal if you serve your country that is a big deal." Kasey told him as she slapped his chest as his audacity to moan about that before moving forward so his arm was no longer wrapped round her.

"But-"

"Kasey! Buck! Come meet Eddie. Eddie, these two idiots are Kasey," Bobby pointed at the girl who walked into the locker room, one hand tightly gripping the label of her duffel bag whilst her other moved to wave at him with a sweet smile. "And that's Buck." He didn't bother to smile or wave; all he did was nod his head to greet Eddie, but he only did that due to Kasey elbowing him.

"Together they are the equivalent to Dumb and Dumber." Chimney added with a smirk.

"That might be the nicest thing you ever said about us." Kasey sarcastically said as she placed a hand on her heart, tipped her head to the side and smiled at Chimney.

"Kasey here was also in the army too-"

And before Bobby could further introduce Kasey the bell rang, and the group looked at each other before making their way to the fire trucks.

"Good luck New Guy." Kasey smiled slightly at him before climbing into the red vehicle and putting on her headphones.

"So, Silver Star, huh?" Chimney asked Eddie with a smirk as he leaned forwards, arms resting on his knees as he spoke to the newbie.

"Yeah." Kasey noticed that he seemed slightly disinterested in the question, like he wanted to be asked anything but that. And she could understood why. She was like that too when people brought up Afghanistan and the medals she achieved.

"You save a platoon or anything?"

"No, no, nothing like that. Uh, just a convey" He turned to look at the girl next to him. "I heard that you were a solider too."

"Yeah," Kasey smiled at him, "fought on the Frontlines in Afghanistan. I was definitely no Army Medic."

"No, but you are a solider who got a Silver Star and the Distinguished Service Cross." Buck boasted about his best friend. Kasey exhaled as she kicked him in the shin - which caused him to hiss in pain at.

"Evan." She warned him through gritted teeth.

"Distinguished Service Cross?" Eddie raised an eyebrow at her. "That's very impressive."

"And a Silver Cross." Coughed Buck, leading into another kick in the shin.

"I was just doing my job like everyone else. The medals mean nothing to me, their just something just sits at the bottom of my drawer under all my clothes." Kasey laughed slightly, as she fidgeted in her seat.

"Yeah, I feel the same way. Never worn the medal in my life and keep it hidden in my drawers."

"Eddie, uh, you heard about the hot firefighter calendar?"

Chimney smirked at Buck, Hen grinned at Buck, Kasey winked at Buck and all Buck did was bit his tongue to hold back any crass comments.

"Sorry, for what?"

"It's for charity."

"Yeah, you should totally do it, considering your hot and everything." Kasey said bluntly.

"Don't you have a boyfriend?" Buck pointed a glare at Kasey. He wasn't liking that his best friend and the rest of the team were so interested in the new guy. Before him, it was Buck and Kasey. Best friends till the end. Always having one another's backs till the end. Them always joking around. Them always talking. Them being the troubling duo. Them being Kasey and Buck. Buck and Kasey. But seeing his best friend talking to the new guy made him slightly jealous and scared that he would lose this friendship. Their friendship was one of the best things that has ever happened to him, along with becoming a firefighter. And he couldn't lose her.

When Eddie heard that Kasey had a boyfriend, he ducked his head down slightly, first because of the cheeks blushing at what the beautiful girl said to him, but now to bit his lip and he silently sighs to himself. 'Course a perfect girl like her has a boyfriend.'

Coup de foudre: Love at first sight.

At first it's never easy. But when is love ever easy.

But this wasn't love, not just yet... this was attraction at first sight.

Eddie looked back up at Kasey and she shook her head at Buck.

"It's complicated...but hey, I was just pointing out the obvious, everyone here was thinking the same thing."

"True." The whole team (except Buck) agreed with Kasey who smirked in triumph.

"So, is your full name 'Eduardo?'" Buck finally spoke to the new guy.

"No." Eddie shook his head.

"People ever call you 'Diaz'?"

"Not if they want me to respond."

"Something's got to give...We got...we got Cap, Hen, Chimney, Buck and the idiot over there." He pointed at Kas.

"Hey!" She gasped as she looked at him with offence.

"Were you or were you not the one who walked into a glass door!"

"How was I supposed to know it was made out of glass!"

"Are they always like this?" Eddie asked Hen, Chimney and Bobby.

"Always." They answered.

"Maybe if your eyes were open you would be able to tell!" Teased Buck.

"They were open! It's not my fault that glass is transparent!" Kasey bickered back.

"There was a handle!"

"I didn't see that!"

"Because your eyes were closed!" Laughed Buck.

"They weren't closed!" She paused. "I don't think they were..." she muttered to herself. "...Anyways, they call me Kas...usually." Kasey told Eddie.

"We can't just call you 'Eddie'" Buck told him.

"Can't tell if he's being serious or not." Said Eddie with slight confusion.

"I like to always operate under the assumption that nothing he says is serious." Chimney joked which made the team chuckle slightly. "Same goes for you Kas, especially after you asked me if I think humans will ever be able to walk on the sun."

Kasey stopped laughing, tilting her head to look at Chimney with the look of ‘are-you-serious?’

"You seriously asked that?" Bobby asked her from the front seat with a teasing smile.

"It's a serious question!" Buck said in defence for Kasey.

"See at least someone gets it." Kasey pointed at Buck who grinned at her, happy that his best friend was back and not talking to the new guy.

"Because you both share the same idiotic brain." Laughed Chimney.

"The air nozzle is embedded in his ass cheek." The older employee told Bobby as they walked into the motor shop.

"How unfortunate." Muttered Kasey as she and Buck walked side to side. The reason for this was because Eddie was at first standing next to the girl until Buck came over, put his arm round Kasey's shoulder and directed her far away from Eddie as possible.

She was his best friend, not the new guy's.

"I shut it off, but I was afraid to move him."

"Okay, Hector, can you hear me?" Bobby asked the inflating man.

Buck and Kasey shared a look of widen eyes when they saw the state the man was in.

The inflated man raised his thumb indicating that he can hear them.

"All right, hang in there, buddy. All right, let's get him on his side." Instructed Bobby. Eddie, Kasey, Buck and Bobby all helped to put the man onto his side. "Maintain pressure on the wound." Hector screams in pain. "Okay. Easy, easy."

"It's a hundred pounds per square inch of air pumped through his entire body." Buck told the team as he read of the machine.

"Breathing's shallow, heart's racing." Hen listed as she listens to his lungs and heart through the stethoscope. "Air's filled his stomach," she lightly touched the blotted stomach before making it way to his chest, "his chest, even behind his eyelids. I'm more concerned about the space around his heart and lungs."

"Okay, Eddie you start a nasal cannula. Chimney get him some morphine." Instructed Bobby.

"I'm on it." Chimney placed the injection into the blotted arm of Hector's. "It's like trying to inject a needle into a stone."

"The pressure's pushing everything out." Eddie said as he struggled to put the nasal cannula into Hector's nose. "I can't even get air through the nostril."

"Jugular venous distention, tachycardia, hypotension, diminished breath, we're looking at tension pneumothorax."

"Could we pop him like a balloon?" Kasey asked which only received looks of confusion from her teammates. "Like when you pop a balloon you use a pen sometimes, so why can't we do something similar?"

Bobby waved his finger up and down at Kasey as he thought about it. "There is something like that. Buck, I need you to get a 14-gauage angiocath. We need to start decompressing the pleural cavity."

"All right, all right." Buck started to undo the man's shirt.

"Want me to help?" Eddie kindly offered.

"I got it." Buck replied stubbornly. First this new guy tries to steal his best friend and now his job? The audacity of the new guy is through the roof.

"Hang in there, Hector." Kasey said to comfort the swollen man.

"I'd go lower." Eddie told Buck as he hovered the needle by the man's heart.

"What? Um, no. Second intercostal space. Midclavicular line" Buck said in an obvious tone.

"The chest wall is thinner at the fifth intercostal at the anterior axillary line. There's a decreased chance of injuring any vital organs. I've – I've treated guys with collapsed lungs in combat.

"Do it." Urged Bobby.

Buck looked up to the girl who stood next to him. He knew he should take orders from Bobby as he's the captain. But it was more of an unconscious look as they both always do this, to see what the other person opinion on something was.

"Buck, please, just give the needle to Eddie." And with that Buck did what she said.

"Thank you." Eddie said as he went to do what he told everyone.

Buck looked up at Kasey like she betrayed him. "You know anything about this."

"I wasn't an Army Medic, Buck."

Inside Buck kind of wished that Kasey said something like "Duh," so he could rub it in Eddie's face, show him that they didn't need him. But she didn't know and that was something he couldn’t boast about.

"Can you help me out with the shirt?" And Buck did so after staring angrily at Eddie.

And Kasey watched Eddie with awe, she was still impressed that he knew that. But then she looked at Buck and saw his angry expression and her smile turned into a frown, and she gently placed her hand on his shoulder, and he leaned his head against it.

And with that the air escaped and the man started to deflate as he gasped air in and out.

"That's it Hector. Breath nice and slow."

The crew looked at one another and then back at Eddie whilst he stared at the man on the ground. Even Buck had to agree it was a good call to make.

"I mean, he swelled up." One of the employers described as they pushed Hector out on a gurney.

"How you doing, Hector?" Chimney asked and in response he got Hector passing out gas. "Pressure's got to go somewhere."

"It always does." Agreed Hen.

"Hey, new guy," Kasey called as she jogged up to Eddie, "that was a good shout to make."

"Thanks," Eddie blushed slightly at the compliment. "Your idea was good as well, need better explanation, but you're the reason we knew what to do."

"Yeah, that explanation sucked." Giggled Kasey as she and Eddie walked side to side. "But if all honesty I think you'll be a great member of the team."

But Eddie couldn't reply as Kasey was already being pushed away by Buck.

"So, Texas huh?" Buck asked with one arm thrown over Kasey, pulling her into his side, and he sped up so they were away from Eddie.

"Yep."

"And when am I going to meet the family of my favourite person?"

"When am I going to meet yours?"

"First of all you don't want to meet my parents. Second of all I have no clue about my sister."

"Hey, can I tell you something?" Kasey asked as she pulled Buck away from entering the fire engine, stopping the pair of them in their tracks, placing both of her hands on his arms to turn him around, feeling the weight across her shoulders disappear.

"Anything."

"Buck, your my best friend...but can you cut the new guy some slack?"

"What? Are you saying that you actually like this guy?"

"I've barely spoken to him because you keep on pushing me away from him when I try to introduce myself!"

"You should be thanking me!" He yelled as he climbed into the red vehicle.

"Thanking you? We could be the three musketeers!"

"So sister alert." Buck said over the phone.

"Hmm." Kasey hummed as she ate her Pot Noodle, phone tucked between her ear and shoulder as she ate her dinner whilst watching cartoons quietly on the TV.

"Who are you talking to?" Kasey heard a female voice as the hand that was holding the chopsticks froze.

"Is that-"

"That was my sister, Maddie." Buck breaths out, a small making it’s way onto his face at hearing Kasey’s reaction.

Kasey gasped, a smile making it’s way onto her face as she raised herself to tuck one of her legs under her.

"We were fricking talking about her earlier today."

"Freaky right."

"Is that Kasey Strand?" Maddie asked Buck as he held his phone to his ear.

"She knows my name." Kasey said happily. If this was a cartoon Buck could imagine her eyes to be shimmering with those animated sparkles in them, showing off the happiness the character embraced.

"The best friend?"

"Buck, you've been talking about me?" She teased before it drops when she came to some realisation. "Oh no, you've been talking about me?"

"Hey, hey, Maddie give me the phone back." She heard Buck say along with sounds of movement of fast footsteps and giggling.

"Is this really Kasey?" Maddie joyfully asked.

"Is this really Maddie?"

"You have no idea how much I want to meet you. Buck always talked about you in the letters he sent me, and he was talking a lot about you earlier."

"What did he say." Kasey muttered as she rubbed her face, dreading what he could have possible of said.

"So many amazing things. You mean a lot to him, you know?" Maddie bit her lip slightly. "But he did tell me something...the blueberry incident?"

"No." Groaned Kasey.

"It's cute." Maddie giggled over the phone.

"Shut up." Laughed Kasey.

"Umm...hello can I have my best friend back please? She's already been stolen enough from me already today." She heard Buck whine in the background.

"Ugh, not this again."

Kasey hopped down the stairs but came to a sudden halt at hearing a frustrated Buck yell out, "we're not broken up."

She slowly walked down the last few steps before making her way to the locker room, after giving a smile and a nod to Bobby when she noticed him standing by the stairs. She sat on the bench, looking through messages from TK about how he thinks he and dad will be okay in Texas, and without even knowing her lips tugged up into a smile, thankful to hear that TK is well, that her dad is well, that they are going to be alright.

"I don't think Buck likes me very much." A voice said from behind her that made her jump.

"Oh, it's just you, the new guy." She smiled at him, turning off her phone, patting the space on the bench next to her to motion him to sit down. "He just jealous."

"I didn't mean to make him feel like that. I just want everyone not to feel awkward with a new member."

"Buck will come around soon and as I said you are a great member for this team, newbie."

Eddie looked at her and smile before shaking his head with a chuckle as his eyes moved to the floor in front of him before moving back to her.

"You know, you don't have to call me new guy or newbie, right? I do have a name."

"You never told us what you wanted us to call you." Kasey reminded him with a smile.

Eddie looked into her green eyes, and he thought that they were the most beautiful colour ever. When she smiled his heartbeat against his chest harshly. He had to clear his throat before answering the girl.

"Just Eddie be alright. Unless you find another name to call me by."

"Eddie." She tested the name and Eddie has never heard his name be said so perfectly. His name came out as smooth as butter when she said it and he thought then and there that he never wanted anyone but her to say his name. "It is definitely better than new guy." She said his name a few more times and Eddie prayed to the stars that she wouldn't stop. "Edmundo."

Eddie froze slightly before a small smile appeared onto his face when he heard his full name fall from her pink lips. She said is perfectly too. He never liked his full name, not until Kasey said it.

"How you know that was my real name?"

"Lucky guess." Shrugged Kasey. "But I'll rather call you Eddie than Edmundo...to long of a name." Kasey brought her foot onto the bench as she untied her shoelace before tying it up again then doing the same to the other boot.

"You know, I think me, you and Buck could be really good friends. The troubling trio. The three musketeers." Kasey told Eddie.

Eddie shook his head slightly. "That defiantly won't be happening any time soon, not when all Buck gives me is angry glares."

"Once again he's jealous... that's why you can feel him angrily glaring at you right now as you talk to me whilst lifting weights." Kasey said, not once turning around, her eyes only trained on her boots in front of her. Eddie turned around and saw that Buck was indeed looking at him with murder in his eyes. "He's acting like a 5-year-old, not liking that his best friend is talking to someone else."

"Do you not think that he might like you?" Eddie asked as he turned around to look at the side of Kasey's face.

"Ew, gross." Kasey said in disgust. "That be practically incest. We see each other as siblings nothing more and nothing less. And beside I have a boyfriend."

Eddie nodded slightly as he felt his throat tighten slightly at the mention of her having a boyfriend.

"How long have you two been together?"

"Not long. Relationships with me honestly never last long. It always ends due to my faults, my mistakes, because I struggle with my emotions too much and they get offended because I never said I love you too them. I always warn them about how I don't think love is for me, and each time another guy leaves they just prove my point."

"Maybe you just haven't found the right person yet."

Kasey shrugged as she breathed deeply out as she stared out in front of her.

"What about you,” Kasey asks, swinging her legs around so they were on each side of the bench, her body now facing him. “Have you ever been in love?"

"Yeah, once, in a failed marriage. But recently I've been thinking that maybe what we had wasn't really it."

"Why you think that?"

"Well it was love, we loved each other, but it wasn’t the highest form of love…I think somewhere in us we knew what we had would never last forever…we always wanted different things and we just wasn’t right for one another."

He did love Shannon, of course he did, but everything that happened to them was quick. They were young when they got married and had his child. He's been questioning his old feelings for his ex since he met Kasey, because even if they've only spent small moments together, no one has ever made him feel so much in such a small amount of time.

And he never believed that quote from Big Fish was ever true until her. Until Kasey. Because every time he sees her it's like time has either slowed down or stopped. The whole world is moving a full speed whilst he's just stuck in the moment of admiring her.

“So she wasn’t the great love of your life? The person you fell for instantly and knew was the one?”

"At first I thought she was, but the longer we were together, the less I thought it.”

"So, you believe in love at first sight?"

And this question was what made Eddie stop to think. He knew he has a very strong attraction to Kasey the moment he saw her. But it wasn’t love, it couldn’t be love until you know the person, for him, Kasey was someone he gained the quickest of attractions for, something he never experienced before in his life.

"Not exactly." Eddie uttered to Kasey as if what he was about to say was a secret between the two. "I think you have to actually know someone to be able to love them. But I believe in attraction at first sight. A-And I believe when you meet the right person there's a click. I don't exactly believe in love at first sight, but I sure do believe in that click."

Kasey nodded.

"I guess it's true then, I've never been in love with someone before." Kasey said also in a quiet voice, keeping up with the quieter tone between her and Eddie.

"You will someday."

Coup De Foudre: Love at first sight.

But the crazy thing about love at first sight is that you don't ever really realise it, you say it's something else, when it's still love at first sight. Another crazy thing about love at first sight is that it also means you can see yourself loving this person. Love at first sight makes you catch a glimpse of your future, it your body's way of saying this is the person you will love the most. And that was the craziest thing about love at first sight.

The denial of it.

"Fire and Rescue. Hello." Bobby called out as he opened the door.

"Jeez, who leaves a door unlocked like this? Aren't they scared that an intruder would walk in?" Kasey said, looking behind with knitted brows at the stupidity of leaving a door unlocked.

"I'm back here. Help me." Charlie's muffled voice came from another room.

"Some kind of militia nut?" Buck voiced as he looked around the room.

"Back here." Charlie said again.

"Can't tell where that voice is coming from." Bobby said.

"Bobby asked him to say Marco and we'll yell out polo." Suggested Kasey, something Bobby shut down quickly with one simple pointed look.

"Back here." Charlie's muffled voice came behind the door they came up to.

"What's your name, sir?" Bobby asked as he rushed to the man whilst Buck and Kasey entered the room.

"Charlie." The man responded.

"All right, tell us what happened, Charlie." His leg was covered in blood, a piece of material was wrapped round the upper part of his leg, just above the wound.

"Damn grenade went off while I was taking it apart."

"Why are you taking apart a grenade?" Buck asked him whilst Kasey and Bobby checked out the wound.

"I was cleaning it. I'm a collector."

"No kidding." Kasey looked up at Charlie.

"You pulled the pin?"

"Oh, it ain't that kind of grenade. It's a 40-mike-mike.It's a-"

"-a practice round for an M203 grenade launcher." Kasey finished for him as her eyes stayed on the wound she was shining a touch at.

"You like this type of thing?" Charlie asked the girl, baffled that someone like her knew what she was talking about.

"I was in the military, so I know my stuff."

"I picked it up at a flea market in Brea, part of my 'Nam collection. My screwdriver must have touched the propelling charge. I..."

"All right, I see metal. A lot of shrapnel." Kasey interrupted.

"Femoral artery has been nicked." Bobby continued. "We got to get him transported now!" He told Buck and Kasey, whilst Charlie looked shocked at the news.

"I've got an adult male, age 65, with a large piece of shrapnel in his right thigh." Bobby spoke in his radio whilst Buck and Kasey pushed Charlie out towards the ambulance. "Femoral artery damage with profuse bleeding, ten minute out." He ended the radio call. "Buck, I want you to travel with him to the hospital, keep him stable."

"Copy that, Cap." Buck said in annoyance as he knew Eddie was in the ambulance. He shot Bobby and Kasey a look before climbing into the vehicle.

"Hey. You got to learn how to play nice. It's one team, Buck."

"Can't Kasey come with."

"Can't, no room." Kasey smiled teasingly at him.

"Hey, Nash, Strand, am I gonna be alright?" Charlie asked as he lifted his head up to see them.

"You're in good hands, Charlie." Kasey replied back reassuringly.

"But you might want to consider switching to collecting baseball cards after this."

"You know, I'm very glad that you two didn't kill each other in the ambulance last night." Kasey said to Eddie and Buck as she leaned against the wall, eating, whilst watching Eddie play with the pinball machine.

The group had just came back from one of their calls where a kid got his head trapped in a microwave and cement. His friends didn't care as they videoed the whole thing leading to Bobby stamping on it and throwing it into the water.

"Maybe you were right Kas." Buck smiled and rolled his eyes already knowing how his best friend would act.

"Of course I was right! When am I ever wrong."

"Remember that time where we had a call to save someone from a toli-"

"Can't I have my moment of victory?"

"What about G.I.?" Buck asked Eddie. "Like G.I. Joe. 'Hey G.I.' You know that's a great nickname."

"That's a terrible nickname." Kasey said bluntly before raising her crisp packet above her mouth to pour the crumbs into her mouth.

"Sounds like gastrointestinal." Hen said from the table she was sat at, doing the crossword.

"I don't know what that word means but I agree." Kasey said.

"Yeah, I don't think so." Laughed Eddie.

"I think calling Eddie, Eddie is just fine." Kasey told Buck who looked at her once again like she just betrayed him. "Plus Eddie is technically a nickname already."

"Kas, it isn't a cool nickname." Buck whined.

"Nor is Buck. But hey-ho."

"All right, everybody, listen up." Bobby called as he walked into the area the crew was at. "I've got announcement to make. I just got off the phone with the people from the calendar, and they have made their choice."

Eddie and Buck looked at each other before looking at Kasey who rolled her eyes at them before looking at Bobby.

"Well, no hard feelings, no matter who won." Buck told Eddie.

"I pray that neither of you win, it be too much for you egos to handle." Kasey said.

Bobby winked at the boys, with his hands on his hips, "That's good, Buck, cause they didn't pick you."

"Please." Kasey smiled widely at Buck.

"Well, it's obviously a fix." Buck stated. "No, congratulations anyway, G.I.!" He enthusiastically said, clapping in the process whilst Eddie and Kasey chuckled at him.

"They didn't pick him, either."

"Shut the front door!" Kasey said, her smile getting bigger and bigger as the seconds ticked by.

"No? You?" Buck asked as he pointed at Bobby.

"No." He turned to many on the countertops, eating celery. Chimney turned around to see if someone behind before realising Bobby meant him. "No way. You got to be kidding me."

"No. Congratulations, Chim."

"Yes Chim!" Cheered Kasey as she ran up to Chimney to give him a big hug.

"Or should I say Mr. April."

"Dammit!" Cursed Kasey. "That's not my birthday month."

"No way. Are you serious?" Chimney asked in disbelief Kasey unwrapped her arms from him.

"Chimney!" Buck cheered.

"You're a calendar boy, now." Bobby told him with a smile as he walked up to him.

"You serious?" Chimney asked again.

"Mr. April, buddy." Bobby high-fived him.

Then Eddie did, "30 days of Chimney."

Then Buck did, "Congratulations."

"You did it." Grinned Hen.

"Thank you."

"I hope I'm not interrupting anything." Athena said as she walked towards the group and Bobby instantly walked up to her.

"Umm...what's happening?" Kasey quietly asked Eddie and Buck.

"Hey. I'm sorry." Athena placed a comforting hand on Bobby's upper arm. And then just like that she pulled him down into a kiss.

Kasey's mouth fell open. "Oh...My...God..." She slowly said. "I've been trying to get them together since I joined the 118…well I stopped when I found out she was married…and then continued when...a-and look at them...their...their..." She waved her hand as she motioned towards Athena and Bobby.

"Kissing?" Eddie asked with a shit-eating grin as he looked at Kasey.

"What are you all looking at?" Bobby asked his team who all had different expressions.

"What the fuck do you think we're looking at!" Kasey asked, still in shock by what she just saw.

"There's no more announcements." He smiled at them, especially at Kasey, as he knew that she's been trying to get them together for years.

"Is that what he honestly just said to us after all of that." Kasey asked as she waved her hand at Bobby and Athena again.

"After all that kissing?" Eddie teasingly asked again as he looked at the girl who was sat on the countertop he was leaning against.

"Pay up." Hen said as she turned to the group.

But Eddie and Kasey wasn't listening as she was too busy gaping at Bobby and Athena whilst Eddie was too busy looking at her. When Athena, Bobby and the group started to walk away, Kasey finally turned to face Eddie who was smirking at her.

"Can you believe them?"

"Still don't believe in love?" He asked innocently.

"I-I guess I have to find the right person to click with." She stuttered as she looked at him.

Coup de foudre: Love at first sight.

It's something that has different opinions on. But as the two firefighters looked at each other and ignored the rest of the world. Eddie knew that she was the first person he ever felt that click with. And Kasey was rethinking all her decisions.

Coup de foudre: Love at first sight.

And for Eddie, that's exactly how it was with Kasey.

Austin, Texas

"So you're telling me there's two of you?" Judd asked as he looked at TK's phone, the team surrounding him, at the Strand's proudly showed off the youngest Strand.

"Yep." TK nodded proudly. "But in all fairness she's the more trouble one."

"TK." Owen chuckled at his son's statement.

TK laughed, gesturing with his hand towards the family picture on his phone, looking down at it before looking back at his dad in pure humorous shock.

"Dad, c'mon, you know it's true."

"Don't insult your sister when she isn't here to back herself up."

"She would agree with me."

"She's like really pretty." Marjan pointed out, reaching over TK to zoom into the picture slightly.

"Yeah, it must be a Strand thing to be so good-looking." Paul nodded in agreement, holding onto to Marjan shoulder to also take a closer look, sparing a glance up at the Strands before looking back down at the missing Strand.

Where does she live?" Marjan asked as she stared at the goofy picture of TK, Kasey, and Owen.

"LA, she's a firefighter for the LAFD."

"Yep, she become one started working there after serving in Afghanistan." Owen added to what TK told them.

"Wow...So it isn't just a Strand thing to be a good-looker but to be a firefighter too." Judd thought out loud.

"When can we meet her?" Mateo asked as he looked up at Owen and TK.

"Soon. You'll meet the trouble one soon."

"I knew it!" TK acclaimed. "You agree with me that she is trouble!"

"Just don't tell your sister." Owen utters with a grin.

A/N: Just to let you know Buck and Kasey are purely friends, they have and never will be attracted to one another, they see each other like brother and sister. They are both the definition of platonic soulmates.

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study-coffee-chicago · 3 years ago

Text

Seasons of Med: Season 5 & Seasons of PD: Season 7: Necrotizing Fasciitis Scare (A Halstead Brothers + Halstead Sister! Imagine)

Your age: 18

Jay's age: 32

Will's age: 34

"I am going to get you to understand football at this game come hell or high water," Jay told you as you said that you really didn't understand anything about football while Kevin tried to hook up the tv. Kelly threw Jay the football and Jay caught it.

"Hell or high water, huh?" you asked. "Did you just turn southern? Isn't that a southern phrase?"

"I can say whatever I want, thank you were much. Now catch." He threw you the football and you caught it easily.

"Kelly, I can't promise this is gonna be a good throw, so be ready to move," you told him as you threw the football to him. He had to jump to the left and jump high to catch it.

"Y/N, you suck at this," he laughed.

"I know."

"Jay, teach your sister how to throw a football, will you?"

He threw the ball back to Jay.

All of you were currently at Soldier Field to watch the Bears' game on a Friday afternoon. Will was originally going to go with Jay and you were going to study for your biology class, even though it was summer. You had decided to take a summer biology class so then you wouldn't have to deal with it during the fall and winter semesters when you'd be drowning in homework with other classes...and you figured you could do this one in the summer because you had heard horror stories of how hard this specific professor at CCU was. Luckily for you, Will was a doctor and could help you understand those damn diagrams that always gave you trouble.

Anyway, Will was going to come, but he got put on the schedule last minute, so Jay dragged you here even though you didn't know the slightest bit about football. Hell, you didn't even have any Bears gear to wear! Jay had given you one of his hats to wear with the promise that he'd get it back.

"Y/N!" Hailey yelled to you. "Wanna run to Mama Garcia's food truck with me?"

"Yes!" you exclaimed.

"Hailey," Jay whined. "I was just about to teach her how to throw a football."

"Halstead, if she doesn't know yet, I'm sure you can wait a few minutes. Now, I need my Spanish-speaking Halstead to come with me."

You had taken AP Spanish last year and had gotten a good enough grade on the AP exam to give you twelve college credits. This was partly thanks to Mama Garcia. You had been studying in her restaurant one night when you asked her a question about a tense. She explained it and then said that if you ever wanted to practice speaking Spanish and make some money at the same time, that you could work or her under the table. You took her up on that offer and your Spanish improved immensely.

Once you got up to the window of the food truck, you ordered a big batch of tamales in Spanish and then translated how much it was to Hailey. Then, you and Hailey went back to Jay and the rest of all your brother's first responder friends.

Kelly was yelling at Stella, Hailey, and you not to break into the tamales before the burgers were done, but you all didn't listen and each grabbed one out of the box.

You were in the middle of eating yours when you heard a scream.

You went towards the scream along with Jay, Natalie, and Kelly, but Jay made sure you stayed behind him. But, this didn't block your entire view, though.

You looked down at this man's leg. It was red and it looked like there was a giant gash on his shin with puss, blood, and flesh coming out. Things were moving underneath the skin. He was seizing and he kept saying BRT.

It was all too much. You took the Bears hat off.

"Y/N, I need you to get away from this. Whatever this guy has, I don't want you to--"

Jay didn't even finish his sentence before you vomited into that he had let you use, using it as a makeshift bowl for your puke.

He gently grabbed your arm and pulled you to the side after you finished emptying that tamale you had started eating into his hat.

"You done? You good?" Jay asked.

You coughed and then wiped your mouth. "Yeah, yeah. Sorry about your hat. I just- I don't like blood and that was nasty."

"I know. I think everyone's going to Med, so we'll run to the bathroom so we can throw away my hat now and you can rinse out your mouth. I think I have gum in my truck."

"Okay. Be glad I had the smart idea to puke into that hat, though. Or else it probably would've gone on you."

"Yeah, but I lost a nice hat in the process," Jay said as he rolled his eyes and you two made your way towards the bathrooms.

***

"It's necrotizing fasciitis," Will said. Everyone looked at him with a blank expression.

"Flesh-eating bacteria," you supplied.

"Wow, where'd you learn that, Short Stack?" Will asked.

"Can you not call me that? I'm eighteen! And, I learned it by watching Untold Stories of the ER."

"Junior doctor on our hands I think, Jay. And, you're still shorter than me and Jay so I can call you that, thank you very much."

"After her puking just at the sight of that, yeah, no way she's becoming a doctor," Jay said. "Anyway, the victim?"

"Right, sorry. Your victim had necrotizing fasciitis, more commonly known as, as Y/N said, flesh-eating bacteria. And, don't worry, it's not contagious. Only about four in a million people get it each year," Will explained.

"So, how do you get nec..." Kelly trailed off, not knowing the correct pronunciation.

"Necrotizing fasciitis. It enters through a break in the skin and just destroys the tissue under the epidermis. It--"

"The epidermis is the first layer of the skin," you said, reciting something you had learned in your biology class.

"Yes, it's the first layer of skin. But, as I was saying, it would really help us treat this guy if we knew who he was," Will finished after your interruption.

"I can't open a case file without a crime," Jay started, "but I'll see if I can run prints and check traffic cam footage. Maybe make out some sort of ID."

After a few minutes, everyone's panic had died down and you and Kelly were sitting down next to each other. He was trying to explain football to you even though you really couldn't care less. Meanwhile, Jay was about to make a phone call when Will motioned him over.

"Yeah?" Jay asked.

"You or Y/N have any contact with the victim? And, if you did, do you or her have any breaks in the skin?" Will asked, clearly worried about his younger siblings.

"No, we didn't have any contact. Just had Y/N puke in my hat I let her borrow," Jay answered.

"Okay, good. But, as I said, necrotizing fasciitis is rare, so you two should be fine. I gotta get back, but call if you find out anything on the victim."

"Will do. Remember to wear your gloves." Will rolled his eyes. "What? You just said it enters through breaks in the skin."

"You're a real pain in the ass, you know that?"

"One of my many talents."

***

"Hey, I'm leaving," Jay told you around noon the next day, poking his head into your bedroom while you stared at your lab lectures, trying to remember all the diagrams and pictures you'd need to help you identify body parts on your next lab practical.

"Okay, I'm going to the lab around 2:00 to study. That way I can actually see that stuff as I'll see it on the lab practical," you told him, not even looking up from your notes.

"Okay, be safe." He picked up Beary, who was leaning up against a pillow next to you, in a graduation gown and cap outfit. "Beary, can you make sure she takes breaks?" Then, his voice changed into his baby voice, what he always pretended was Beary's voice. "Oh, yes, Jay. I'll make sure she takes breaks while you're gone."

You laughed and reached out and took Beary from him. "Get outta here, you goon."

"Love you, too!" Jay called as he left your room.

You fixed Beary's cap and set him down, remembering when you got the outfit for him as you stared at diagrams.

"You ready, graduate?" Jay asked as he knocked on your door.

"Jay, I swear to God if you call me graduate one more time..." you said as you opened the door.

"You'll what?" he taunted.

"You know what, I don't know, but you won't like it. Are my bobbi pins noticeable?" you asked, referring to the bobbi pins you had pinned down to keep your blue graduation cap in place.

"Nope. You're good. Ready?"

"Ready."

You walked into the kitchen, to be met with Will. And behind him on the kitchen table was a vase of blue and white flowers, which were your school colors, and Beary leaning up against said flowers, wearing a blue graduation cap and gown. Just like you.

You laughed. "I cannot believe you guys."

"Hey," Will started, "Beary got a little backpack on your first day of kindergarten. Only fair that he gets a cap and gown on your graduation."

"Did you use the gift card from Mom?" you asked, referring to the one you had found in the letters to each of you that Will had found when you were cleaning out your dad's house after he died.

"We did," Jay confirmed. "Now, I need you to hold Beary in one hand and hold this picture." He handed you a photo of you with your little backpack on and Beary with his that your mom had taken of you on the front porch on your first day of kindergarten, right before Jay had surprised you by coming home from deployment early.

"Why do I need both?" you asked curiously.

"I saw this thing on Pinterest--"

"Wait!" Will exclaimed. "You have a Pinterest?"

"No," Jay scoffed. "But Hailey does. And she sent me a picture of something she thought you should do for your graduation pictures. You hold up a picture of you on your first day of school when you were little while you're wearing your cap and gown and then I take a picture of you. Since Beary was in that picture, I thought he could be in this one, too."

You grabbed Beary and allowed him to take the pictures. Now it was time to tell the news to your mom and dad.

***

"You won't believe what Will and Jay decided they just needed to get me," you said as you stood in front of your parents' headstone with Beary hidden behind your back. Will and Jay were over by a big tree talking amongst themselves so you could have some privacy. You pulled Beary from behind your back. "They got me a cap and gown for him because they said it was only fair because Beary got a backpack on my first day of school. And, since it's my last day of school, he should get a cap and gown, too.

"Also, which one of you called Will and Jay graduate all day on the day of their graduation? Because Jay won't stop calling me that and it's kinda getting on my nerves. Pretty sure it was you, Mom."

You sighed. "I wish you guys were here. Jay told me all about how you made him a special breakfast when he graduated and then went out for lunch before the actual graduation because the senior all-nighter was after. I don't know where we're going for our senior all-nighter, but I hope it's not boring. I've heard that a few years ago, some kids said theirs was super boring. I really don't want that. But, I'm glad that I could convince Will and Jay not to be chaperones for whatever my senior all-nighter is. I love them and all, but they can be a bit too overprotective at times.

"God, you guys should be here. Dad, I know you weren't the best, but you were trying. And, I'm sure if Mom was here, she'd make sure you behaved, because Mom would say it was a big day and that you couldn't be arguing with Jay." You laughed. "I can only imagine what it would look like with Jay on one side of you, Mom, and Dad on the other and you scolding both of them for fighting. Then, they'd both probably sit back and cross their arms. And, because of this, you'd probably say that I'm your favorite child."

"Alright," Jay laughed as he and Will made their way back to you. "I think it's time to go. We don't want to miss your graduation."

"You know none of us really care about the ceremony, right?" you asked, blinking back tears so that you wouldn't mess up your makeup.

"We know. It's mostly for the parents...or in your case, brothers," Will said.

You pulled out four flowers, two blue and two white, which you had taken from the bouquet that Will had placed on the kitchen table back at home, from the pockets in your dress underneath your graduation gown. "Give me one more minute."

You placed two flowers, one of each color, on top of your Mom's name and your Dad's name on the headstone. "I thought you two should have some, too. They're my school colors." You wiped your eyes as you felt a few tears prick them. "Remember to clap for me from heaven when I walk across that stage, okay?"

You took a deep shaky breath and turned back around. Will wrapped an arm around you as the three of you walked back to Jay's truck. Beary hung from your hand. In three hours, you'll have graduated high school.

You were taken out of your thoughts by your phone ringing. It was the coffee shop you worked at. And, no, it was not the one in your apartment building. But, Jay and other members of Intelligence did sometimes come in there to pick up coffee for them and the rest of the unit. This was only because they knew they'd get the friends and family discount since you worked there. But, they usually tipped you well, so you didn't mind.

Your manager asked you to come into work because someone couldn't come in. As much as you needed to study for your biology lab practical, you needed money for college more. And, you could always go to the lab tomorrow to practice for your lab practical. You also had Will. What good was having a doctor in the family if not to help you with your science homework? So, you decided to pick up the extra shift making coffee.

***

"Voight," Hank Voight said as he answered his phone.

"Hank, it's Wallace Boden. I need you to come down to the CCU science lab right now."

"Why?"

"Because Severide just told me that the victim at Soldier Field yesterday kept chanting BRT. This place is owned by BRT Labs. And, there was a fire set."

"You're thinking arson? You know we don't investigate that, Wallace."

"I know. Office of Fire Investigation is already on it."

"But, you think that the victim yesterday and the fire today could be connected?" Voight asked.

"I think it's highly possible. All I ask is that you come down here, maybe take a look inside, do some interviews, stuff you normally would do."

"Alright. I'll grab Halstead and Upton and we'll head down there."

"Thank you."

Voight hung up his phone and turned to his team, all of whom were knee-deep in paperwork after taking off yesterday to see the Bears game...which they didn't even get to see in the end. "Chief Boden needs some of us down at the CCU lab. There could be a connection--"

"Did you say the CCU lab?" Jay asked, standing up from his chair.

"Yes, Halstead, Upton, you're with me. The rest of you, stay here. We'll let you know if we need you or you need to look up information here." Voight looked to Jay who looked like he'd seen a ghost. "Halstead, we're going."

"Y/N's at the lab."

"It's Saturday," Hailey pointed out. "There's no classes on Saturdays."

"She said she was going there to study for a test. Oh, God. What if--"

"Jay," Hailey said as she walked over and put a hand on his shoulder. "You just need to call or text her on the way there. She'll be okay. C'mon, let's go."

"Atwater, come with me," Voight said. "Just in case Jay's gotta go."

***

You finally took your fifteen-minute break after being swamped for a good half hour straight. Who knew so many people wanted coffee at four in the afternoon? The first thing you saw were seven missed calls and texts in all caps. They were all from Jay.

"What the hell?" you muttered as you pressed Jay's contact and brought your phone to your ear. He picked up on the first ring. "Why are you--"

"Where are you? The firefighters said they haven't seen you come out yet," he rushed out.

"I'm at work. What firefighters? What are you talking about, Jay?" you asked, furrowing your eyebrows together.

"You're at work?" Jay asked. "I thought you were going to school to study?"

"I was. But, then my manager called me in. Why? What happened?"

Jay felt so much relief wash over him that he almost fell over in the grass on the CCU campus. "There was a fire in the lab."

"What? Are my friends okay? Did anyone die?" you rushed out. They weren't totally your friends, more your classmates, but you figured that was the easiest thing to call them.

"As far as I know, there weren't any fatalities."

You breathed a sigh of relief. "Okay, okay, good."

"Just do me a favor: next time your plans change, text me."

"I can't promise I can remember that."

"Figures. But, I gotta go. Stay safe."

***

"Son of a bitch!" Jay yelled and threw his phone on the couch just as you entered your apartment after finishing your closing shift at the coffee shop.

"What?" you asked as you shut the door and then set your keys down and took off your hat.

"Hailey's in quarantine," he told you. "And it's all my fault."

"What? It's your fault? How'd it even happen? Why are people being quarantined?"

"Turns out that necro thing isn't as rare as Will told us."

"Jay, what the hell are you talking about?"

"Uh, there were a bunch of people at an apartment building who got the disease, so Will and others are there looking for a thing that somebody says they saw spraying the building. Could've been this exterminator person was trying to poison people in the building," Jay told you. "And now everyone in the building is quarantined at Med."

"And Hailey was in the apartment building...?" you asked, not knowing what this had to do with Hailey.

"I had her go to a house to talk to someone who was in the lab the same time as the victim. She, uh, the girl Hailey was talking to, fell over and she had the infection and Hailey touched her.

"Hailey had a hangnail or something—at least, that's the info that Will got from Natalie, and Will passed it on to me—so now she's in quarantine at Med. If I wouldn't have told her to go check out the lead, then maybe she wouldn't be in quarantine right now."

"Jay," you started, "you can't blame yourself. If it wasn't Hailey, it would've been you. Then you'd be quarantining at Med right now. And if it wasn't you or Hailey, it would've been someone else from Intelligence and then they'd be in quarantine right now."

"How did you get so mature?"

"Trauma."

Jay's expression immediately changed. "What? Y/N, if you need someone to talk to, I can get you that."

You laughed. "Jay, chill. It's a psych major joke...even though I know I really shouldn't be joking about trauma no matter what."

"Okay, good. Do you want to watch a movie?"

"I mean, I guess. What are we watching? And, I'm gonna make popcorn, too."

"Okay. We can watch anything but Contagion," Jay told you.

"What's Contagion?"

"It's about this virus that breaks out all over a city...much like what's happening now."

"Oooh, now I want to watch it."

"I knew I shouldn't have said anything."

***

"Hello?" you said into the phone the next afternoon when Mama Garcia called you. Jay was out working the case, Will was trying to find a cure for this bacterial strain, and Hailey was out of quarantine because she was cleared by Natalie. So, Jay wasn't blaming himself anymore.

You quickly spoke Spanish with Mama Garcia and she asked if you could come in because they got a huge catering order last minute and she needed someone to man the cash register while she helped in the back making the order. You agreed and made your way to Mama Garcia's.

***

You were busy working the cash register and speaking Spanish with the friendly customers when you started hearing yelling outside, something about MS-13. You excused yourself and made your way to the back where Mama Garcia was working on tamales.

"They're saying something about MS-13 out there," you told her in Spanish.

"I'm going to need you to say that in English, chica," she told you. "I think you said it wrong because you just mentioned MS-13," she said as she wiped her hands on her apron.

"No, they're saying crazy stuff," you began. "They're chanting that you're part of MS-13. You can't hear it?"

"It's loud back here. Maybe I'll hear it if I go to the front."

She came to the front with you where some customers were leaving the building through the side entrance to get away from the mob. There weren't any customers left in the little restaurant anymore.

"Dios mio," she whispered.

There had to have been at least two dozen or more people outside all yelling and saying that she was to blame for the bacteria. Some even held signs. Some had guns or sharp objects.

You pulled out your phone. "I'm calling--"

You stopped when you heard a crash. You barely had time to register what was happening as the Molotov cocktail flew through the window and shattered everywhere, lighting the place on fire and sending shards of glass everywhere, some ending up lodged in your leg as you screamed in fear and pain.

***

The men and women of Firehouse 51 got a call of a public disturbance at Mama Garcia's. As they pulled up, they saw the Molotov cocktail fly right through the front window towards you and Mama Garcia. Casey started barking out orders and everyone sprang into action.

You were inside and the smoke was getting thicker. Whatever they made this out of actually worked. You pulled your shirt up to your nose and mouth to try and stop inhaling it, but it didn't work very well.

You had been in front of Mama Garcia at the time it was thrown through the window, so you took most of the glass shards. This caused you so much pain that it was hard for you to move through the kitchen and to the door to get out.

"Fire department! Call out!" you heard Stella yell as you kept trying to walk toward the back door.

"Here!" you yelled.

"Fire department! Call out!"

"Back here! Help! Help!"

You heard heavy footsteps coming toward you and then you saw a firefighter and you felt a hand wrap around you.

"Hang on. You're gonna get out of here." Stella. "Casey," she said into her radio. "I need some help in here. Female victim, trouble walking, in the back in what looks like the kitchen."

"Copy. Coming in, Kidd."

About thirty seconds later you were picked up and told to close your eyes. You did, and it was only when you finally got outside, did Truck 81 realize who they had rescued.

***

Will was currently working in the lab trying to find an antidote to this terrible outbreak. But, something about Dr. Seldon was suspicious. He wasn't a detective like his younger brother, but he still trusted his gut.

Dr. Seldon hadn't noticed that Will was still in the lab when he started pouring chemicals into the samples. Now Will knew something was most definitely wrong.

"What are you doing?" he asked loudly, startling Dr. Seldon.

"Oh, these are contaminated samples," he answered easily like he had rehearsed what he was going to say.

Will pointed directly at him. "No. You know what? You need to stay right here."

Then, Seldon threw a punch and Will caught it easily. But, then Seldon hit him again in the stomach. In the split second that Will was doubled over, Seldon picked up a microscope and cold-cocked Will right over the head, causing him to fall to the ground as everything went black and he clutched his bleeding head.

***

Hailey was now back in the bullpen after being quarantined because she got checked out and everything was fine. She had to tell Jay to stop apologizing and that it wasn't his fault he had gotten into that mess.

"That's a blue hat, right before 2:00," Ruzek said as he looked at the security footage.

"Wait, I know this guy," Jay started. "He works at the CCU lab." His eyes widened as he realized what was going on. "He's with Will. We gotta go now!"

As Jay was sprinting out of the bullpen, his phone started ringing.

"Man, your phone!" Adam yelled.

"Just let it go to voice-mail!" Jay yelled as he ran down the stairs, not knowing that it was Casey calling him to let him know that they had pulled you out of a fire and you were currently being treated at Med.

***

You rubbed your eyes as you woke up a few hours later. You didn't know if it was the meds the nurse gave you to knock you out so she could pull the shards of glass out of your body or if it was from a combination of smoke inhalation and tiredness. Whatever the reason, you were awake now.

You turned to see your brothers and were very confused to see that Will was holding an ice pack to his head and Jay looked like he had gotten new stitches in his forearm.

"The hell--" You roughly cleared your throat. "The hell happened to you two?"

"We found the guy," Jay told you. "But, not before he cold-cocked Will over the head with a microscope."

"Who was he?" you asked.

"A professor at CCU. Dr. Seldon."

"I've heard of him. I think he only teaches graduate classes though, so I'd never end up being in one of his classes anyway. I'm assuming he's not teaching anymore?"

"Not a chance in hell," Jay confirmed. "If he wants to teach, he can teach all the other prisoners at Stateville."

"What happened to your arm?"

"Oh, you know him," Will began. "He's always putting other people's safety in front of his own like the idiot he is." Jay thought about smacking his older brother upside the head but decided against it only because he had just been hit in the head. "He decided that he'd rather be infected with the bacteria instead of the people in a conference room where Seldon was. So, he cut himself."

"You what? Do you have the bacteria?" you asked as your eyes widened in fear.

"No, I don't. Hailey shot in there to distract him and then I disarmed him. Will came in with the antidote anyway, but luckily we didn't need to use it."

"If Hailey got paid overtime every time she saved your ass, she'd never have to work again."

"Tell me about it," Jay agreed.

"Now, what happened to you?" Will asked. "Casey told us you were at Mama Garcia's?"

"Yeah, she called and asked me to run the front since she needed to be in the back to help work on a catering order. I went in and an hour later, there were all these protesters outside calling her a member of MS-13 and saying she started the outbreak."

"How?" Jay wondered. "Mama Garcia's like the sweetest lady alive."

"I don't know. Because people online are crazy? And then someone threw a flaming bottle of something through the window."

"And that's how the glass got in your leg?" Will asked. You nodded. "Well, the good news is that Maggie told me the damage was artificial. The reason you passed out was because of smoke inhalation. They gave you some oxygen and you're good to go once you're ready."

"Then why don't I have one of those nose thingies in?" you asked.

"A nasal cannula?" Will chuckled. You nodded. "It's because you slept long enough with it on that your oxygen is back up. And, the paramedics gave you oxygen, too. That's why you don't need it. Your levels are back to normal."

"Oh. Okay."

"You want your discharge paperwork?" Will asked.

"Yeah, Jay's gotta fill it out."

"Nope. You are not a minor anymore. So, you get to fill out your own paperwork."

You groaned as he handed you the clipboard with the paperwork on it. Now you knew why both Jay and Will hated paperwork so much. There was so much even for one little thing!

"You know, I think since you've achieved frequent flyer status at Med," Will began, "that Beary needs a hospital gown, too."

"No! Don't you dare!"

"Just write it down and give it to her for Christmas," Jay joked. But honestly, when it came to that bear and presents, you never knew if either of them was joking or not.

Everything seemed back to normal at that moment: Jay and Will joking about your Build-A-Bear, you and Jay constantly being in the hospital for whatever reason and life. Life was back to normal after this crazy weekend that had everyone in Chicago on edge and you couldn't be happier.

A/N: Idk how I feel about this one. There was so much going on in that crossover, that it was hard for me to figure out what I wanted to focus on...so, it turned into a shorter imagine. Anyway, thank you guys so, so much for reading! I also start my new job tomorrow, so updates might be a little less frequent (one or two a week, depending on how long the imagines are and how much I have to work). Anyway, please like/reblog and comment and tell me what you think! As always, if you want to be added to my taglist, just tell me and I’ll add you!

taglist: @theambracer88 @virtualreader @kelelas-life @celyndavies @brookerz122493 @musicismyescape27 @anotherfan07 @thexplosivegirl @dreamingwithlens @xoxmariaxox @onechicago18 @iamasimpingh0e @i-like-sparkly-things @herecomesthewriterwitch @liampayne88

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misora-msby · 4 years ago

Text

ー　goddess of love [c38]

once again the texts are from suga’s pov

“koushi! put down your phone! you’re the eldest here, you know?” said man sighed at his mother’s retort and put it back into his pocket.

“sorry, some of my high school friends were just messaging,” he smiled and continued eating his fried chicken.

“i just guessed,” you laughed, “speaking of kiyoko, she’s the one that introduced me to sachirou!”

“oh, she’s that kind senpai with the glasses from karasuno, right?” your mother asked.

“yup! that’s her!” you grinned before beginning to recount the day you met sachirou at the vet clinic, with a few added comments from him.

“aww that’s such a cute meeting! what did you think of y/n at the time though?” your mother then asked your boyfriend.

“i thought she was really funny at first. i mean, i wasn’t expecting shimizu-san to introduce me like that to y/n and for her to be stuttering while telling me her LINE ID,” he started, making you blush and cover your face in embarrassment, “but i’m glad i went out with her that weekend. i don’t know much about relationships but i can say i love ours.”

“sachi, you’re talking too much,” you whined, still covering your face to block eye contact from anyone at the table.

“yeah, you sure are!” koushi’s younger brother called out, mimicking gagging at sachirou’s lovey dovey words.

“oi oi, you’re going to high school next year and you’re still worried about cooties?” the older sugawara brother tousled his younger brother’s hair (though he was secretly happy that someone told the couple to tone down their affection a little).

“no way! it’s just weird to see him talk about y/n-oneechan like that!” the boy whined, “i’ve known her for way too long already!”

you had to agree, it was really embarrassing to have someone profess their love for you in front of your family and family friends. especially your best friend who you had known since you were in diapers.

the chair suddenly scraped against the wooden floor as you stood up, “i’m done with my food! it was delicious, thank you! i’m just gonna go out for a bit of fresh air and i’ll be back to do the dishes when everyone’s done.” you really needed to get the stares off of you.

“alright. be careful, dear,” your father warned as you nodded and left the dining room.

just as you had put on your shoes and coat, and stepped out into the garden, you heard hurried footsteps behind you.

“y/n!” you turned around to see your tall boyfriend shoving his feet into his shoes and following you out, coat in hand. “was it something i said?” he asked, “i didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” he closes the door behind him and places his hands on your shoulders.

“n- no but...” you begin to stutter.

“tell me the truth.”

“alright it was a little embarrassing. not that i don’t feel the same way, no. i love you a lot but it’s just that it was so sudden that they invited you to join for dinner. not to mention how they were saying you’d be a wonderful son-in-law. i’ve never introduced a boyfriend to my parents so... it’s just weird, you know?” you laugh lightly, though you kept your eyes on the ground.

hirugami frowned slightly but nods in understanding. perhaps what he said really was a bit too cheesy or forward. but how could he not be that way when he saw the way your best friend looked at you?

“if that’s the case, i’m really sorry. i won’t do it again,” he gently tilted your chin up so you could see the sincerity in his eyes, “i love you and i promise that if you don’t like something, i won’t do it.”

“... even coming to my place smelling like a dog?” you joked to lighten the mood, a little grin on your face.

the brunet rolled his eyes playfully but chuckled, “that’ll be difficult but i’ll try better or shower before coming.”

“alright deal,” you laughed and tiptoed slightly. sachirou knew exactly what to do and leaned forward, giving a chaste kiss to your lips, now cooled by the winter air.

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♡ this aint even smau anymore wtf i’m writing so long ewwwww

♡ edit from future: the text keeps getting messed up so if it’s awkward or repeats... idk what’s up with that

taglist

@sunabrainrot @toumie @xoxopam4 @lil-peetie @writingfreakk @yashinosakura @kiritokunuwu @literaleftist @himesaus @normalisthenewnorm @mirikusashes @cloverque @iminlovewhaikyuu @definitely-yours @idiot-juice-enthusiast @aizumii @criminallyhamilton @softkons @bakusquadz @gracefullydying @seashellmichellee @boba-ashea @asdfghjkl7things @honeyapplepi @cleopatera @alicia-errantia @sugavwara @thatonearieschild @gummibeardummi @briidge @jesquisser @newestro @putmeinyourdeathnote @theolwebshooter @trashy-simp @moonlightaangel @ems1des @xfangirl-trashx @ilauvcoldpizza @youtuboo @shhhhhdot

#hirugami #hirugami sachirou #hirugami x reader #hirugami imagines #hirugami sachirou x reader #hirugami sachiro #hirugami sachiro x reader #haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu socmed au #haikyuu social media au #goddess of love #haikyuu!!#sugawara #sugawara x reader #sugawara koushi #sugawara koushi x reader

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adelidae · 3 years ago

Note

Hii for the oc this what abt past 11 and present 11. Unfortunately i dont know ur ocs but id like to hear abt one :)

Also heres a bear

HI!! thank u for the bear im in love.....here have some monkeys in return!! 💖

questions/answers under the cut! they got a bit long 😭

(11) PAST—Were there any events in their childhood that led to phobias or other fears?

HMMM this is a tricky one because i haven't thought that much about it before......ok there's definitely anya aka anastasia dragomira (if you've seen me talking about veronika/ronnie then anya is her older sister)

she's basically the crown princess of the kingdom she lives in and that's mainly because she has a powerful affinity for pyrokinesis (fire magic is hereditary and has a huge religious significance), while veronika has no abilities and their brother gustav has air magic from their father's side of the family.

anya has always been the centre of attention since she was a young child and that attention has always been tied to her station and power, so the older she got the more paranoid she became about Losing that attention. basically without her fire and prospective crown she felt everyone would leave her and no longer need her, and she'd do anything to avoid that happening

ronnie and gustav are closest to her until she meets the father of her son (i still can't decide on a name for him) but she feels very isolated in part due to her 'chosen one' mentality and the way she has to feel like she's better/smarter/stronger than everyone else as validation....her mother didn't really discourage it either since she was more concerned with preserving the integrity of the royal bloodline and the pyrokinesis that comes with it, so as long as anya was Physically normal she would consider her to be fine

so yeah i'd def say anya has a fear of being left behind and forgotten which is kind of interesting considering she treats a lot of other people dismissively (like ronnie and even her partner), but it stems a lot from her responsibilities as a kid and her craving for attention from other people (her relationship with her mother is pretty complicated, katerina means well but is not a good parent) honestly along that same vein i'd say veronika probably has some kind of anxiety about not following her duty and failing expectations but that's a wholeeeee other essay

(11) PRESENT—What’s a typical night’s sleep like for them?

for this one i'm thinking about nik (nikolaj voronin) tbh.....he was raised the son of veronika and her husband ilya, later the king, but his father was actually another man (anton romanovski, her previous fiance. it's complicated)

i feel like he's a rather light sleeper as it is, and as a kid he had really bad social anxiety coupled with somehow being unable to get along with anyone else his age....he was bullied quite a bit which left him rather isolated as well. his best friend as a kid was his sister zhanna (younger by 4 years) who had a stormy temper despite her stature and essentially appointed herself nik's protector despite his protests

with that in mind i don't think he sleeps particularly well most nights. he has unsettling dreams and is rather restless, waking easily when it's cold or he's alone. when awake he carries himself with a bit of a slouch and he has dark circles under his eyes most of the time which contributes a lot to his permanently tired demeanor....something i feel that zhanna in particular snaps at people for mentioning especially if she feels it was said as an insult

there was a period of time when they were younger in which zhanna would sneak into his room at night and get into his bed with the excuse of feeling lonely just because she knew he didn't sleep well and it upset her to see him unwell and struggling to get through the day......they both knew she would probably get in trouble for it but nik always felt better and safer with her around. they're each other's closest confidants even in the present day of canon, and zhanna is still fiercely protective of him—some might even say overprotective...

SO YEAH . that's a bit more about my ocs i love talking about them sm so thank u thank u thank u for sending this in <3 if u ever have any questions feel free 2 ask!! i promise im super happy to ramble on about them all day long

#mail #crabb #my writing #ask meme #thank u for the ask as well 💗💗💗

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raindancer2004 · 4 years ago

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Alec and his Cinderella

Word Count: 3,195 Alec x reader Part One Warnings: Alec is aged up. Fluff, Angst

Alec was sitting his room reading although he wasn’t enjoying the book; having read it many times before. He came to the realisation that he was bored; he needed a change of scenery, something new to do but he wasn’t sure what. “Are you ok brother?” Jane asked “You’ve been looking at the same page for ten minutes” Alec didn’t answer her right away “I’m just…a little bored. I mean I’ve read this book many times before….” “Well of course it’s your favourite” Jane cut him off “I know…but…oh I don’t know…” He ran his fingers through his hair “I suppose I’m…bored. We haven’t had a mission in weeks” Alec continued, Jane nodded “I didn’t realise it had been that long brother.”

Aro called a meeting with the elite guard “Thank you for coming dear ones. My brothers and I have something we would like to discuss with you. Renesmee is now fully grown and has requested the chance to go out into the human world; attend High School, see what it’s like but doesn’t wish to do so with her family. She got in touch to ask if it was ok for her to do so seeing as her father told Caius that he would keep her hidden from the human world” “Glad to see one of the Cullen children has a brain cell” Caius said snidely, causing the guards to smirk; Aro rolled his eyes at his brother and continued “She has agreed that one of you accompany her instead. I just need a volunteer” “No chance” Felix mumbled “I’ll go master. I think a change of scenery will be good” Alec replied “Fancy your chances with her do you?” Demetri asked winking at Alec “Oh yeah totally” Alec replied sarcastically and rolling his eyes.

“Will you be coming too sister?” “No. I couldn’t possibly leave Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dum on their own for that length of time, imagine the chaos” Jane replied nodding in Demetri and Felix’s direction “Ha…I do love the affectionate nicknames you give each other” Aro said smiling “I doubt he’d say that if he knew some of the names we call her” Felix said low to Demetri, who choked back a laugh.

“That’s settled then Alec will be going to forks and the three of you will stay here and cover his duties. Although I might get Afton to cover Alec’s guard duties” Caius said with a wicked smile. “How soon do I need to be in Forks?” Alec asked “In a rush to see her are we?” Felix asked grinning “Grow up” Alec glared him. “You can leave as soon as you are ready, my boy” Aro answered “Give our best wishes to them won’t you Alec” Marcus said low “Of course master” He replied and returned to his room to pack.

Sometime later Demetri, Jane and Felix stopped by “So how come you volunteered so quick to go High School? I thought you hated humans” Demetri asked “Not to mention the Cullens” Felix added “I came to the realisation recently that I am bored and would like a change of scenery…and well this will provide me with that” Alec answered “Rather you than me mate…I mean the Cullens are bad enough but to be around that Dog all the time, no thanks” Felix said scrunching up his nose at the thought of the Wolf pack. “Just remember you have to play nice with the humans Alec…They’re your friends now so that means you cannot eat them” Demetri says smirking pointing his index finger at him; Felix and Jane cant help laughing “Get bent” Alec growled “Really sister?” He asked turning to face her “I’m sorry but that was funny, it was like weird dad advice” She said giggling “Don’t eat your friends…ha” She continued to laugh “If you need me to attend parent / teacher conferences, you only have to call” Demetri added smiling, Jane was practically doubled over with laughter “Can you…i-imagine it…Demetri attend-attending…those meetings...he’d flirt with all your teachers” “At least Alec would get good grades then” Felix added laughing “Thank you so much for your support in this…it’s truly overwhelming” Alec said not sounding amused “Sorry brother…you have my full support…honest” Jane said trying to sound serious now “Yes…you have my full support too…son” Demetri smiled and gave Alec a playful wink. “Mine too” Felix adds.

A few days Alec arrived in Forks, Esme collecting him from the airport “Hello Alec. It’s nice to see you. I trust you had a good flight?” She asked him “Hello Mrs Cullen. It’s nice to see you too. The flight was ok if you don’t count the child that spent half the flight crying and screaming” He replied “Sorry to hear that. No need for Mrs Cullen, you can call me Esme” “Thank you Mrs…Esme” He replied “We have set you up in Edward’s old room, there’s a bookcase full of books, a desk even a TV and a bed, should you wish to relax in your own space” She told him with a smile “Thank you for letting me stay with you” “You’re very welcome Alec. It’s the least we can do seeing as you are helping out Renesmee. I do have to tell you though there is one rule that must be followed during your stay. You aren’t allowed to…satisfy your dietary requirements shall we say in Forks. You will need to leave the city for that” “I understand…we have a similar rule back home…Volterra is out of bounds when it comes to...satisfying our dietary requirement” Alec responds.

Esme pulls up on the drive and sees Renesmee waiting for them “I should warn you Renesmee is really excited you’re here so…be prepared for a hug” Alec nods ‘surely she wouldn’t’ he thought to himself. “Alec! You’re here” Renesmee calls out; running and wrapping her arms around his neck giving him a hug, Alec hesitantly wraps his arms around her waist “Told you” Esme says smiling as she walks past them. “Ha…you owe me $10 Jas” Emmett calls out laughing.

That night Carlisle, Esme, Alice and Jasper sat in the family room with Alec and explained the cover story the school were told regarding himself and Renesmee. “It has been several years since any of our children have attended the school here; so we had to come with a plausible cover you and Ness, especially as no one really knows about her and I still work at the local hospital” Carlisle began, Alec nodded “Just a bit background for you first regarding us. Jasper poses as Rosalie’s twin and they use her last name Hale and it is known that they are the niece and nephew of Esme’s late brother. Emmett, Alice and Edward all use the name Cullen as Esme and I adopted them” Carlisle added. “Ok, so how do Renesmee and I fit into the family?” Alec asked “So Jasper had the idea that you and Ness should pose as siblings and use his last name of Whitlock. You would be the Carlisle’s niece and nephew and after losing your parents recently you have come to live with us” Esme explained. “That sounds alright actually. You’re good at this” Alec smiled. “Oh and we thought it would make sense if you and Ness were twins so you’d be in the same year at school” Alice added smiling “I have your new ID too courtesy of a friend” Jasper said handing Alec a birth certificate and passport “Thank you Jasper”

The day before school starts Renesmee pays Alec a visit “I’m going to hunting, would you like to come?” She asked him “You mean animals?” He asked in return his nose wrinkling at the thought “Not necessarily…I mean prefer your diet to ours…so I game either way” She smiled and he noticed the mischievous glint in her eyes “As much as I’d love that, I do not think your family would approve of you switching to my diet during my stay” Alec answered “Well then that means you can try our diet during your stay. Come on I’ll show you how to hunt animals” She sounded excited at the thought of showing someone how to hunt so he didn’t tell her that he had hunted animals previously on a mission albeit decades ago.

“Oh my god! You were so fast and you took down that Mountain Lion quicker than dad usually does” Ness said grinning as she and Alec entered the house “You taught me well Ness” Alec praised her “Thank you Alec” Edward chuckled having read Alec’s thoughts that he had hunted animals before but he appreciated Alec’s little lie and the hunting trip had helped them bond a little.

“Where have you been? Why are you with him?” Jake almost growled giving Alec a disgusted look “Shit” Emmett said from upstairs “Get lost Jake. Where I go and who with is none of your business” Ness replied “Come on Alec” She grabbed his hand and went to walk around Jake but he side stepped blocking her path “That is where you are wrong. It is my business” Jake raised his voice and before Ness knew what was happening Alec pushed her behind him and squared up to Jake “You have a problem with Ness, you have a problem with me! And for the record Ness doesn’t report to you, she can do whatever she likes. NOW MOVE!” Alec growled and stood his ground ready to defend Ness if needed, after all she was his ‘sister’ and no one was going to hurt her. Jake snarled at Alec and began shaking “Take it outside Jake!” Jasper warned from the top of the stairs “Don’t make me tell you a second time” “FINE!” Jake shoved past Alec on the way out “This isn’t over” He mumbled as he slammed the door behind him. “Thank you Alec” Ness said low “You’re welcome. Come on you promised me a movie night remember” Alec replied walking upstairs and Ness followed.

“I didn’t expect him to protect Ness like that” Emmett said to Jasper and Edward “Posing as siblings is easier if you think of one another as siblings” Edward replied “You mean he…he thinks of her a sister?” Jasper asked “Kind of. Think of it like this he is so used to having Jane around and doing things with her and although he knows she can take care of herself, he still protects and defends her. He has fallen into that brotherly role easily with Ness because A) she is alot younger than he is B) he didn’t like the way Jake spoke to her and C) he’s unsure if Ness could fully defend herself against Jake’s wolf form if she was ever put in that situation” Edward answered. “It’s a good thing he’s here then, maybe Jake will back off and respect her decision” Jasper replied.

Alec and Renesmee start High School the following week, the start of a new school year and Alec was surprised to discover that he was excited about this new venture. Although he missed Jane it was nice having Ness around and he had to admit he liked her company. Her view on things, on life was different; refreshing, as she was seeing everything for the first time, experiencing everything for the time and he had become fascinated by her and her reaction to the world. Ness introduced him to the world of Disney and the many princesses that lived within it. He decided to introduce Jane to the world of Disney once he was back at the castle.

The atmosphere at the Cullen house was quite relaxed compared to the castle; it definitely had a ‘family home’ vibe that he got used to very quickly, Esme and Carlisle making him feel as though he was part of their family from day one. He got along with Jasper easily as they would talk about history for hours; exchanging ‘war stories’ at times too. Emmett and Alec bonded over Emmett’s computer games; Alec would often beat him at Mario Cart, but would lose to him when playing Killer Instinct. Alice reminded him of Jane when it came to her knowledge of fashion trends; the season’s newest colours, her love of shopping and having her nails painted. Rosalie taught Alec about cars and he was amazed by her knowledge and love of them.

The first term of school went by rather quickly; Alec and Ness joined the chess team and Alec is elected the team captain. They both scored top marks in their ‘team project’ for history; Alec having been around during that time gave them an advantage.

They went to a school field trip to the Seattle Museum; something Alec and Ness found interesting and amusing “Hey, I’ve just realised something” Ness said low to Alec; who raised an eyebrow at her “You’re probably older than some of the exhibits Alec” Ness whispered “Are you saying I’m old?” “No not at all Alec…I’m saying you’re ancient” Ness said laughing “You say ancient, I say experienced, young one” Alec replied smiling “Young one? – Ha. You’re funny Alec” Ness responded.

A few days later Jake arrived at the Cullen house whilst everyone was out except for Alec and Ness “Ness! Ness! Where are you?” Jake yelled as he made his way through the house; Ness purposely ignoring him “So Alec, I’m struggling with question four, can you please explain it?” Ness asked as she and Alec were doing their homework together. “Of course. So…” “What the hell Ness? Did you not hear me call you?” Jake cut off Alec “And why are you here with him?” “I did hear you call and I chose to ignore you and what does it look like I’m doing?” Ness replied “Don’t take that tone with me!” Jake growled out “You should be at home not here” “You don’t own me Jacob and I don’t have to answer to you” Ness replied “That is where you are wrong! You belong to ME” He growled getting closer to her “And I forbid you to spend time with him outside of school. Is that clear?!” Ness didn’t answer “IS THAT CLEAR?!” He growled louder, mere inches from Ness when black mist swirled around him removing all of his senses but one – hearing “Listen to me Jake. Ness doesn’t belong to you, she doesn’t belong to anyone. Ness can do what she wants, when she wants and with whomever she wants. If you ever speak to her that way again I will RIP you to pieces and burn them. Is that understood…DOG?!” Alec got louder as he spoke. “Ness doesn’t want you. You should leave…NOW!” Alec added calmly but authoratively and returned Jake’s senses; Jake was preparing to lunge at Ness but Alec was quicker he pushed Ness out of the way and threw Jake across the room. Jake crashed through the glass balcony doors and landed in a heap outside, right at Emmett’s feet. “I think that means you’re not welcome here Jake” Emmett smirks as he steps over him making his way inside. Carlisle and Esme flash to Alec’s room to find Ness crying and being in Alec’s arms “You’re ok…I’ve got you. You’re safe…I promise” Alec whispered and tightened his hold on her. Carlisle and Esme took a seat on the bed and Alec filled them on Jake’s visit and apologised for the damage to the doors.

The High School decided to throw a ‘Winter Masquerade Ball’ with the emphasis on being the ‘mystery behind the mask.’ As ball got nearer, Alec and Ness went shopping for their outfits and masks. Ness picked a deep purple sleeveless floor length dress, a purple and black mask, and a pair of black shoes. Alec chose a dark grey suit with a deep purple shirt, a light grey tie and black shoes. His mask was black and grey. “I’m really excited, I’ve never been to a ball before” Ness said grinning ear to ear “I must admit it has been a long time since I attended a ball. The masters used to hold them regularly at the castle, but there hasn’t been one in quite some time” He told her.

Y/N attends the ‘Winter Masquerade Ball’ at the High School and Alec noticed her the moment she entered the school hall dressed in a pink sleeveless prom dress with white flowers scattered over the dress with a pink and silver mask. “Sorry Alec, am I keeping you from something or someone?” Renesmee asked with a smile when she noticed him look over shoulder towards the door “No…I…Er…What was you saying?” Alec responded “I was just asking if you think you’ll dance with anyone here tonight?” Renesmee replied “Well…erm…a girl in a pink dress just came in on her own, so I could ask her…but what about you?” “Go ask her to dance, I’ll be ok. I can ask Matt from English class” Ness replied “Thank you Ness. How will you which one is Matt, the whole point of tonight is the ‘mystery behind the mask’?” Alec asked curious “I heard Matt tell Lee what colour mask he’ll be wearing” Ness replied.

Alec approached the girl in the pink dress “Would you like to dance?” He smiled and held his hand out to her. “That’d be nice thank you” Y/N placed her hand in his and he led them to the dance floor.

They danced and spoke to one another throughout the night; never exchanging names. Alec found himself becoming intrigued by her; the way she moved elegantly around the dance floor with him, the warmth he felt holding her in his arms during the slow songs, her voice was soft and her laugh was quickly becoming his new favourite sound. “Would you like a drink?” He asked her “Yes, please a drink sounds good” She replied “Wait here. I’ll be right back” Alec made his way to the drinks table and got the girl a drink, making himself one too. He turned and started to make his way back to her when he saw her look at the clock and then turn and run from the room. Alec set the drinks down on a table of full of teenagers and followed her out; being careful to run at a human speed. He couldn’t see her; she had disappeared before he was able to say goodnight, before he could get her name or number, something he was going to do at the end of the Ball. He tried to pick up her scent, follow her to ensure she got home safe but that’s when he realised that he hadn’t recognised her scent whilst dancing with her, so that meant they didn’t have any classes together. ‘wait she had no scent, not one I can remember anyway’ he thought to himself. He felt frustrated as he had never felt so at peace around a human before and now he’s lost her; the only reminder that she was real, the only clue he had to try and find her was a silver shoe she left behind as she ran off into the night.

#alec volturi #jane volturi #demetri volturi #felix volturi #aro volturi #caius volturi #marcus volturi #renesmee cullen #esme cullen #volturi #the cullens #jasper hale #emmett cullen #alice cullen #carlisle cullen #edward cullen #bella cullen #rosalie hale

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imaginesandinserts · 4 years ago

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Irreverent Pt. 17 - Big Brother

Title: Irreverent Pt. 17 - Big Brother Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Reader Rating: T (Teen) Words: 2050

Irreverent Series Masterlist

Things had gone back to normal - or as normal as they ever got when you caught serial killers for a living. Cases at work had picked up with Hotch back in the driver's seat, and you were all starting to heal.

The team had successfully wrapped up a case in Kansas City involving missing children, so needless to say spirits were high. You drove back to the airport with Hotch, Spencer, and Garcia, with the others in another car behind you. Garcia had tagged along since the Unsub had been known to hack into home alarm systems and it would be good to have her on the ground with the rest of the team.

"What does everyone have going on for the weekend?" Penelope had obviously bored of listening to Spencer's lecture on quantum physics he'd been telling her about for the past 20 minutes. You and Hotch had conveniently tuned out, choosing instead to argue over your taste in music. You had been doing your best to introduce him to new artists instead of listening to The Beatles for the millionth time, and currently you were making a good case for Hozier.

"Jack's away at the lake with his cousins, so I have a free weekend for once," Hotch revealed. You were happy for him to be getting a break - he'd been working himself ragged trying to be Super Agent and Super Dad - a break was definitely a good call.

Before you could answer Penelope, your phone rang, distracting you and leaving Spencer to tell Penelope about his upcoming weekend of hustling with Emily in Atlantic City. The two of them made a dynamite duo in scheming drunk guys out of their money and had turned it into an annual tradition.

You quickly pulled your phone out of your pocket and saw - for possibly the fiftieth time that week - the name Dominic flash on your caller ID. Your brother had been pestering you for a few weeks now, trying to get in touch. No doubt he was doing your father's bidding. Being rid of him entirely had been too much to ask for.

You quickly dismissed the call, catching Hotch's glance in your direction. You shook your head at him, mouthing, "Later." He nodded in understanding, before tuning in to the conversation in the back once again.

"What about you, sugar?" Penelope asked, looking at you eagerly, awaiting your answer.

You thought for a second - what did you have planned for the weekend? With Jack away and Emily and Spencer off to Sin City, you didn't really have much to do. I should really get friends besides people I work with and their children. "Nothing planned," you said, turning in your seat to look at Penelope.

"Oh come on, Y/N! You're young! Vibrant! You should have plans. Men courting you." Penelope had been the most disappointed when you'd ended things with Cedric during the peak of the Foyet case. You had had more important things to worry about and between both of your busy schedules, actually seeing one another was becoming impossible. That was when you'd started to understand how hard it must have been for Hotch with Haley. He loved the job and he loved her, but she'd asked for him to leave it and in the end he hadn't been able to. While you sympathized with Haley, you got why Hotch had chosen the job. It would have killed him not to.

You chuckled, rolling your eyes good naturedly. "When would I meet men, Pen? The only men I meet are serial killers."

"Actually, statistically speaking, you run into at least fourteen eligible mates every time you step outside," Spencer rattled off in his all knowing voice. "Plus, you're a female of above average attractiveness, so it is actually closer to twenty for you."

"And yet, somehow, I'm single," you retorted. "I must be chasing them away with my attitude." You heard Hotch chuckle from next to you. He should laugh more. It makes him look younger.

*------------*

Penelope had talked everyone into going out once again, using the excuse that Hotch was free and didn't have Jack. You could tell he wasn't thrilled about being used as the excuse - he was so bad about enjoying bar type settings. However, he'd agreed under the agreement that everyone turned in their report to him before they left for their weekend activities. Spencer, Penelope, JJ, and Rossi had gone ahead, having quickly rushed through their reports. Hotch wouldn't leave until everyone had turned theirs in, and you didn't want him to be waiting alone, so you were sitting in his office keeping him company while waiting for Emily and Derek to wrap up as well.

When you'd brought your report up and then turned and sat on his couch instead of leaving, Hotch had quirked an eyebrow at you in question. "Can I help you?"

"Nope!" you said flouncing down on his couch. "I'm just waiting up here to make sure you can't just bail."

He rolled his eyes at you, but then fixed you with a contemplative look.

"What?"

"It's later now."

You looked at him, confused. "Yes…"

"The phone calls. You got them all week. Don't think I didn't notice."

"Right." Nothing ever really got past Hotch. "Dominic has been calling me, incessantly," you admitted.

"Your brother?"

"Yeah. I think my father put him up to it, and as he and I are no longer on speaking terms, I don't want to open any doors to communication."

"You know," he said quietly, as he walked up from his desk to come sit on the couch by you. "You don't ever talk about your mother."

"Well," you began slowly, focusing on a spot on the opposite wall as you spoke, "she wasn't really much of a mother, I suppose. My parents were that couple that should've separated a long time ago. Pretty sure I was the save-the-marriage-baby." You expected to see some pity on his face, but he simply sat and nodded, so you continued. "But, when it didn't work my mom sort of went away, always in her own world. Say what you will about my dad, but at least he was around, as much as he could be. She could've been there all the time - she just chose not to be."

Hotch had a way of making you want to talk to him. You'd tell him something awful, and sometimes he'd try to help. More often he'd just listen.

This time, he chose to speak, in his deep comforting voice. "You know, you should be proud. It's kind of amazing that you came out the way you did, given everything."

You felt a warm glow surround you as you looked up at him, sincerity radiating off of him. "Thanks, I think," you laughed.

Derek's voice cut through the moment, "Hey, let's go you two! I've got mine and Prentiss's report here," he said, striding in and placing two files on Hotch's desk.

You saw Hotch get up, undoubtedly to check their work, but you were done waiting. "Nope, that's for Monday. Come on!" And against his protests, you grabbed his jacket and led him out the door.

The four of you drove over to the bar and found a spot a couple of blocks down. As you started walking towards the bar together, you heard a voice calling you from behind, causing you to tense up immediately.

"Y/N! Y/N, wait!"

You turned to see a large dark figure moving towards the four of you, and as it got closer you recognized your brother's face. Hotch and Derek were both instantly on alert as well, ready to come between you and the man hurrying towards you.

He looked much the same as he had the last time you saw him. He stood as tall and broad as Derek, looking even more intimidatingly large in his dark suit. "Dominic! What're you doing? Following me?" You were pissed.

"I need to speak with you," your brother said, moving as if to usher you away from the others.

You took a step backwards to avoid him and instead bumped into Hotch. "Anything you want to say to me, you can say it in front of them. But remember, they're federal agents, so I'd watch my words if I were you."

He glowered at you for a moment, before accepting that he wouldn't be able to catch you by yourself. "Father has a message for you," he announced.

"Oh yeah? Still playing dad's lapdog, are you?"

"You need to go man," Derek came to stand by your side, intimidatingly.

"You're being ridiculous!" Dominic seethed ignoring him, "You're disgracing yourself and everything we've been taught."

"What's the message?" You tried to remain calm, knowing it would rile him up more to see you unaffected by his old bullying tactics. Maybe then he'd just leave.

"Come home. The family needs you." He repeated what were obviously words fed to him by your father.

"Tell father to leave me alone, Dom. I won't be his pawn anymore." You tried to do an about face and move the others along with you, grabbing Derek's arm with you.

"You're Emily Prentiss, aren't you?" You'd thought he was done, but his words towards Emily gave you all pause. "I've got a message for you as well…Valhalla says hello."

As you watched Emily's face lose all color, your brother turned around and vanished back into the shadows from where he'd come.

The mood sufficiently ruined, you all ended up back at the office so that Emily could fill you in on whatever or whoever Valhalla was.

As Emily explained her undercover role playing the IRA terrorist's girlfriend - Ian Doyle, codename Valhalla - you started to realize that you never truly know a person. Not that it changed how you looked at Emily per se, but that there are parts to people and their histories that you might never know, despite feeling as close as sisters to them.

"So, if Dominic L/N has a message from Valhalla, then that means that L/N Sr. knows Valhalla too, right?"

"Yes, most likely. I'm going to have my contacts at Interpol look into this," Emily said, in response to Derek's question.

Hotch had been pretty quiet, so the three of you turned to him to see what he was thinking. Noticing all eyes on himself, he looked at the three of you and then more specifically at just you, before sighing and pushing up from the table. Hotch spoke, carefully choosing his words, not quite meeting your eyes. "For some time now I've suspected that the CIA has a case open on Mr. L/N, and I think this pretty much confirms those suspicions."

"Wait, what? Why would you think that?" you asked, unsure of why this was the first time you were hearing about this.

Hotch sighed again, unsure of how to tell you. Slowly, he explained, "To be honest Y/N, I've suspected it since you told us about your dad. Your rejection from the CIA never sat right with me. After your dad was here the last time and the case with Dawson, it made sense that your rejection was tied to some conflict of interest they would have with you being part of the agency and not anything to do with you personally."

You swallowed, trying to process what Hotch had said. If you were honest with yourself, a small part of you knew he was right. It had never sat right with you either, but at the time you hadn't been feeling confident and had assumed your year of partying had somehow been to blame.

"You really believe that, don't you?" You looked up at him as he stood with one hand tucked into his pocket and a furrowed brow.

"Yes, I do."

"Well then, I think a visit to the CIA is also part of knowledge gathering before we can more forward and assess the full threat." Emily's past as a rogue was definitely showing here as she drew herself into commanding position. The rest of you agreed to defer to her experience, deciding that she would get in touch with Interpol and visit the CIA alongside Hotch.

#criminal minds #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds reader insert #aaron hotchner #hotch x reader #hotchner x reader #hotch x you #hotchner x you #irreverentseries #aaron hotch x reader #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotchner x y/n #hotchner imagine #hotch x y/n

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emmy-writes-sometimes · 5 years ago

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Guys My Age

You meet Sebastian Stan and end up on a date, but what happens when he asks you out without knowing you’re only 22?

You wished you could say you didn’t like a guy fifteen years older than you, but you would also be wrong. Very wrong. It was dumb to even assume someone like him could like you back, regardless of age. He was an actor, a good one, who had his life together in every sense of the word. He had apartments in two cities, an endless amount of phone contacts you could never even dream of, and an actual life. You were just some college student who worked for Marvel until he needed a dog-sitter and you were the closest by. He probably didn’t even know you were a college student. If he did, he would probably dump you. And, as a matter of fact, that was what you were waiting for.

It started out just dog-sitting for him on the occasional weekend when he needed to fly back to New York. You were just excited for an excuse to leave your dorm for the weekend, much less spend time with Sebastian’s puppy, Trooper, and the extra money helped because Marvel could have easily paid you more than they did. You didn’t think he would ask you out, at all. And when he did, even though it was just for one dinner, you were more than excited. That was how you ended up in front of the mirror in your dorm, trying to decide whether to wear the clothes you had on or not.

“You have a dick appointment with thick boy?” Your roommate said, causing you to laugh so hard you nearly got mascara all over your nose.

“Jesus Christ,” you responded, “his name is Sebastian.”

“His name is a snack,” she insisted under her breath. “And if you don’t come back having gotten some, I’ll make you clean the bathroom.” You rolled your eyes.

“Nothing is going to happen,” you sighed. “It’s a first date and we’re literally just going to a restaurant. He’s definitely classier than fucking on the first date.” You finished with your mascara and threw it back into the box you kept your makeup in, making sure you weren’t wearing too much makeup for what you actually kind of hoped was a dick appointment. Not just so you could say you got dicked down by Sebastian Stan, but because he was hot and you genuinely liked him. He was sweet, hilarious, and he was probably the biggest idiot you’d ever met. But he was also almost forty years old, you kept reminding yourself. There was a fifteen year age gap. And you were determined not to let him know. You didn’t have a plan for when he did find out, because you assumed that he would dump you before then, but you probably should have had a plan.

“Whatever you say,” your roommate sing-songed to you. “Why are you meeting him at his house?”

“Because he doesn’t know I’m 22 and I intend to keep it that way.”

“He probably doesn’t care, honestly. If he knows you’re an intern, he knows you’re probably younger.” You consider this for a second as you put your lip gloss on, because why not, and then you pull out your phone.

Heading over soon!

Sebastian started typing almost immediately, just a quick okay, and you grabbed your jacket and wallet before heading out the door. Your roommate yelled a quick goodbye, but as you rode the elevator down to the garage you did your best to drive instead of thinking about all of the bad things that could possibly happen. Honestly, he probably didn’t care. But you were an anxiety-ridden human being and that was one of the things you had the most anxiety about. To you, age gaps didn’t matter. But it could also be that you just wanted to be with him so badly…

You were so concerned and thinking so hard that you almost missed his interstate exit. And then you almost missed the street. The house, the fifth on the left, was Sebastian’s, and it was hard to miss. The dog was in the front yard, a few feet from the invisible fence, and started barking as soon as you pulled in. He must have come to recognize your car, even though you spent most of the time with him when you were dog-sitting.

“Hi, Troopy!” You said brightly, the Rottweiler standing on his legs and leaning on you. “Hey, buddy!” He barked again and then ran to the front door, where the screen was already open. Sebastian was folding a blanket in his hands when he noticed you were there, and opened the door for you.

“Hey!” He said, walking forward and giving you a hug. He smelled like he’d just showered – he’d used the expensive cologne he kept on his vanity. When he peeled away he was still wearing a smile on his face. The dog let out a bark before settling down on his bed in the corner of the room.

“Hey, how are you?” You asked. It had only been three days since he had gotten back from New York, where his mom had roped him into coming back for a family friend’s wedding. Then the month before he’d had to go out to California for a meeting about another movie that would be filming in the summer, and that was the month after he’d gotten Trooper. You were thankful that you had been the lucky ADR assistant who’d struck up a conversation with him.

“I’m good. We finally finished that one scene with Mackie’s double, so at least that’s out of the way.” He was talking about one of the most dangerous stunts Marvel had actually let him do – they weren’t even letting Mackie do it. “You?”

“Finished up your dialogue earlier,” you responded. “And we had weird staff meeting.”

“Weird?”

“Russo’s came by. Taylor was sucking up. It was just weird.” He grinned. Your boss, Taylor, was probably one of the craziest guys you’d ever met in your life. And he worshipped the ground that the Russo brothers walked on.

“Yeah, that’s awkward. You ready? I got reservations at that Italian place, uh, Boccalupo?” He asked. “Is that okay?”

“Oh, I love that place!” The only time you’d ever been was your junior year when your parents were moving you in, but you weren’t going to say that. You felt bad for hiding it, but if he asked, you would tell him.

“Let me just find my keys and we can go, I was just cleaning up a little.”

“You’re fine,” you responded as he disappeared up the stairs, probably go to his bedroom. You pulled your romper down a little more, just so you could kneel to pet Trooper for another minute.

“Good boy,” you said to him as he offered you a paw. You’d taught him that trick last weekend.

“He’s been giving his paw to everybody,” Sebastian smiled as he walked back down the stairs, Jaguar keys in hand. “You should be a dog trainer.”

“Yeah, when I move out of my apartment I think I’m gonna rescue.”

“No pets?”

“Unless you have an ESA form, no pets.”

“That sucks. Honestly, I wasn’t even thinking of getting one. But then I saw Trooper and…”

“He’s a cute boy.” You watched Sebastian lock the door, then unlock his car in the same move. He laid a gigantic, warm hand on your back, walking you over to his car. He even opened your door for you, something a guy had… literally never done before. He shut the door and crossed over to his side to get in.

He was the ultimate gentleman. He poured your water for you, pulled your chair out for you, and even though you insisted he shouldn’t spend an outrageous amount of money on you he still paid for all of dinner. So when he suggested you get a couple drinks at a dive bar, you couldn’t say no. If anything, he said, you could just leave your car at his house and he could call you an Uber to come get it the next morning. He was quite possibly the sweetest man you’d ever been on a date with. And he had stories, tons of them, and his brain was something you could pick at and listen to and laugh with. You could spend and endless amount of time just listening to him. And when he put his hand on your back to walk you across the street to the bar, you could have just melted right into him.

“ID’s?” The bouncer asked. You reached into your purse and pulled out your bare license, thankful that the under 21 bar had been removed. Sebastian gave the ID’s over to the bouncer, who just smirked.

“Thank you,” Sebastian replied when the bouncer gave him his license back.

“22, huh?” The bouncer looked you up and down, scanning you, checking you out, and Sebastian’s hand on your back froze. “You’re a young one.”

“Uh, yeah,” you responded quietly. You sighed, looking over at Sebastian.

“You’re 22?” Sebastian asked. He sounded more curious than anything. You just nodded as the bouncer let you in. Thanks, asshat, you wanted to say.

“Yeah,” you said. Your heart fell into your stomach. Sebastian picked a booth and sat you down, and you prepared yourself for the I can’t date someone fifteen years younger than me. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, I just…”

“Why didn’t you?” He asked. A waitress came up to the booth.

“What can I get you two?” She asked.

“Just whatever’s dark and on tap,” Sebastian answered, “and she…”

“Just a cider,” you responded. The waitress nodded and left. “Because I thought you would dump me before you figure it out.”

“I wasn’t going to dump you, first of all. I like you,” he said with a small smile. “But you gotta tell me the truth. I mean, I figured you were, because you’re an intern, but…”

“Yeah,” you sighed, nervously running a hand through your hair. “I’m a senior.”

“At least you mean college. Wait, you do mean college, right?” You cracked a smile. “There’s a smile.”

“Yeah. Are you sure you’re not pissed?” He shrugged.

“No. Honestly, if it doesn’t bother you, it doesn’t bother me. I’m just flattered you’d want to go out with an old guy like me.”

“You’re not old. You just play a guy who’s a hundred and something.” He laughed. The waitress came back with two bottles, putting them down on the table, and left again. “So why did you even ask me out? If you figured I’m so young.”

“Because you’re pretty. And smart. And you’re really good at your job. And you like my dog, and you’re great at training him. Because I like you.”

“I like you too.” Sebastian reached across the table and took your hand in his.

“So you wouldn’t hate it if I asked you out again?”

“I don’t think I would hate it. And I won’t judge you for your age if you won’t judge me for mine.”

“So?” Your roommate asked you later as you tried to sneak into the room. She was evidently waiting on you, even though she was on her bed scrolling through her phone. You put your purse down on the floor beside the door, then took off the wedges you’d been wearing. Sebastian was already half a foot taller than you, at least.

“He found out,” you responded, throwing your shoes into the basket you kept them all in. Your roommate’s face fell.

“Aww, I’m sorry.”

“But,” you continued. “He said it doesn’t bother him if it doesn’t bother me. And he asked me out again.” Your roommate’s face lit up this time.

“Ugh, I knew it! See, I told you you’re pretty enough to go out with him!” You smiled, starting to take your makeup off at your desk. “Did you do anything else?”

“No,” you laughed. “He kissed my cheek. And he said he can’t wait to see me on Sunday night.”

“Sunday night?”

“Sunday night!” Your phone chimed with a message from Sebastian.

See you Sunday. Had a great time :)

“Aww, it autocorrected to a smile emoji!” Your roommate said as she read your message.

“Just get back in bed!”

“22, huh?” The bartender asked on Sunday night, right as you handed him your ID. Sebastian’s hand squeezed your waist as you just laughed, handing the bartender your driver’s license.

“Yep,” you responded as you took it back. Sebastian ordered for the two of you and then sat you down at one of the stools. “I get it, I’m a baby.”

“Yeah,” Sebastian said to you as you turned to him, laying your head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around your back and tugged you closer, then kissed your exposed temple. “But you’re my baby.” You couldn’t help but smile. “Will you be my very young girlfriend?”

“Only if you’ll be my somewhat older but not middle-aged boyfriend.” In a burst of course you sat up, looking into his blue eyes, and caught him in a smile. But you must have looked to his lips, too, because he leaned in. His lips were ridiculously soft. He tasted like the glass of wine you’d had at dinner.

“Sounds good to me,” he said after he broke the kiss. Your beers arrived at the same time a photo flashed from across the street. “So, that would be one of the people that likes to follow me and take pictures.”

“That’s just weird,” you responded. “I wonder how long it’ll take for them to figure out that I’m basically jailbait.”

“It’ll be fine. I know how to deal with this and the best thing to do is just let them speculate and don’t give them any answers they don’t need. We can go back into hiding, if you want.” You shook your head. A piece of hair fell in front of space and Sebastian pushed it back behind your ear.

“I think I’m done hiding things.”

“Yeah, me too.” He removed his hand to grab his beer bottle on the table. “The question is, kid, can you keep up?”

“Hey, can a kid do this?” You chugged the bottle in one go, slapping it back down on the counter.

“No, but I can.” Sebastian started chugging his own, then put it down. “So can I see where you live? Or do you have an age limit on those things?” You laughed.

“You can see where I live. As long as you forgive the bottles of wine we used as decorations.” He chuckled, picking up his car keys, and he threaded his fingers through yours as you started walking toward the bar’s exist.

A/N: This came out way less angsty than I intended it to, but I can’t imagine Sebastian being rude, lol. He seems like such a sweetie! I hope I did your request justice! 💕

#sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan fluff

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innittowinit · 4 years ago

Text

Abandoned amusement parks are the best place for young children (chapter 7)

AO3

Fic summary:

Techno, Tommy, Wilbur and Phil have been hanging out at the abandoned amusement park in the woods since they moved in. Techno likes knowing he's definitely alone with his brothers Tommy likes climbing on the old rides Wilbur likes having a place to play his music Phil likes spending time with his younger brothers

That is, until a group of brothers calling themselves the 'dream team' move in down the road. Will the sleepy boys give in and share the park or will they succeed in scaring the new kids off?

Chapter summary

Dream recounts what happened today to Bad and their mom Wilbur comforts Techno

chapter word count: 1704 (sorry its another inbetween chapter)

Dream snickered as he leaned back in his chair, a half eaten ham and cheese sandwich sitting idly on his plate. He had his mask lifted up so it sat atop his head, showing his freckled cheeks and and reddish cheeks.

“That was a fun game, they were playing along this time”

He reached for a packet crisps, only to drop his hand and pick the sandwich back up when Bad gave him a disapproving look; they all wanted to make Bad proud, he wasn’t around often anymore but when he was here it was great.

It didn’t really feel like home when he was off at school.

Playing with the sleepy boys had been fun though, he mulled over the events of the day as he chewed on the childish meal, the sun was still high in the sky and he doubted it was past 2pm at all.

Phil didn’t seem like he wanted to play, for a moment Dream wondered if Phil just didn’t like playing anymore, he was the oldest afterall, but he quickly shook the thought from his mind. Why else would he still turn up to L’manburg with his brothers?

No, Phil definitely enjoyed it, he was probably just tired today, sometimes even his own brothers didn’t like playing Manhunt if they had had a long day.

He remembered buying the fun snaps, it had been a little nerve wracking but he needed them for the plan to work! He had had to lie about how old he was for the shopkeeper to give them to him, he didn’t ask for ID though so he guessed the old man running the place also didn’t see the point in having an age limit to buy a toy. While they were going through their plan first, Sapnap had said he wanted to blow it up.

Obviously they couldn't do that.

And so they decided on fun snaps and their ‘weapons’. At least this way they’d still get shocked by the noise of the snaps going off anyway, it wasn’t like they wanted to cause any real harm, he didn’t want to lose any more potential friends because of the ways he had fun.

“We actually got into L’manburg today” Sap laughed, hair dusted with sandy dirt from when he had been pushed to the floor.

His sandwich had been toasted to make the cheese melty and he was dipping it in a Tomato cup-a-soup. As far as Dream was concerned, that was single handedly the worst food combination ever made and he deserved to be pushed over for eating like that.

“I hope you guys aren’t playing too rough out there, those Reid kids have a littl’un right?”

Nodding, Dream shoved the rest of his lunch into his mouth, chewing it as much as he could before giving up and just speaking with his mouth full anyways.

“Yeah Tommys like really small, we aren’t playing too rough though Ma, they’re cool with it, I promise! Even Sap and George like them”

Once she had finished preparing her own lunch, she sat with her kids; they were so rowdy, it would be a straight lie if she said she didn’t worry about their safety sometimes but she supposed boys would just be boys, no amount of sports clubs or extracurricular activities had ever quenched their need to run about and hit each other with sticks.

What was fun about hitting each other, she had no idea, but hopefully they’d grow out of it before they seriously hurt themselves or someone else

“That’s nice to hear then, I’m glad you boys are making new friends, I know it can be difficult adapting to new places-”

“Nah mum it’s easy!” Sapnap had cut her off, hand in a bag of crisps since he had finished his meal, despite how much Bad tried to influence healthy eating decisions.

“That’s nice sweetheart, some people find it hard though! Hey! You know what could be cute? If you take Bad down to meet your buddies, you said they had an older brother around his age too right?”

Dream groaned, feigning annoyance as he glanced over to his brother, while like Phil, Bad still cared about them a whole lot, they didn’t really have the almost-replacement-parent kind of dynamic that the sleepy bois had with their older sibling. He didn’t really understand that, Bad was two years older than him and the way they thought and rationalised things was about the same level, so why did his new friends seem to treat their older brother like a grown up?

Even though they were a bit weird, they were nice and they were fun to play with, so eventually he nodded, it would be so much fun having Bad there to fight with them. It felt like it had been ages since they all played together.

“I think they’re playing something else now, we can all go tomorrow after school if you want”

With a shrug and a flippant smile, Bad had at last agreed to go meet his mischievous brother’s new friends. If the scar on George’s cheek was anything to go off though, it seemed like they were a lot more ill-disciplined than his boys were.

Or at least that’s what he liked to think.

--------

“Phil didn’t mean to hurt you” Wilbur mumbled as they walked hand-in-hand to the old pool where they spent so much of their time together, gently lowering himself in and then helping Techno in afterwards.

The two sat idly against the curved wall, sitting in comfortable silence as Wilbur waited for Techno to sort his thoughts out.

“It still hurts” With a voice as quiet and weak as his was right now, anyone who had bothered to stay around long enough to hear his voice, absolutely wouldn't think this was him.

The assertive, confident way he normally would speak to his brothers long forgotten as he gingerly swallowed the lump in his throat.

He felt invalidated, ignored, humiliated.

Why did Phil have to bring up the one thing he couldn’t argue with him on? He had got hit harder than Tommy! Why did he only care about Tommy?

With a heavy chest and an aching arm, he rested his head on his brother’s shoulder, just wanting some comfort but not really knowing how to put his feelings into words. Thankfully, Wilbur seemed to recognise this rare moment and gently wrapped an arm around him.

“Do you think….” He trailed off into a murmur after that, prompting Wilbur to remind him he needed to use his words

“Do you think that deep down...maybe Phil thinks I’m weird too? It’s weird to be this shy isn’t it? I’m supposed to have grown out of it by now right?”

His voice sounded frantic and panicked, breaths punctuated his sentences as he spilled his emotions into the empty pool. Gentle hands pulled him into a hug and he was tight against Wilbur’s chest, being reminded once again that even if he felt bad himself, his family would always save the day.

“...well I think objectively it is a bit weird that we’re both this attached, and we should be able to be able to do these things that other kids our age can but just because what we have is a little funky doesn’t mean you're weird. If it was normal we wouldn’t have a speech therapist but I don't think it's bad, the other kids in our classes always talk about hating their siblings and stuff. I’m glad none of us are like that.” Wilbur tried his very best to articulate how he felt, a lot of the feelings he wanted to explain, he didn’t have the words to describe, and so he was left with small comparisons and metaphors.

He didn’t bother saying them, if he was struggling with saying them he might accidentally say something that could hurt his brother more.

“I don't think Phil thinks you're weird either. I think he’s frustrated, he works so hard to make sure we’re all okay and we don’t always show him that we appreciate it. I think maybe he’s scared for you, he knows it’s hard for you to talk and with him getting mad it probably came out wrong. He probably wants you to get better really bad and I bet it’s hard for him to watch you struggle and not be able to help. That doesn’t make what he said okay but I do think you should talk to him and try to find out why he said what he said”

Techno nodded, he felt a bit guilty for being so mad at Phil now, he cared so much about them and he had got his little brother hurt.

Even though he felt guilty, he still felt hurt though and maybe it was childish but he didn't care. He wanted to strop and huff and ignore everyone.

Before today he didn’t even realise it was possible to want to fall out of the earth and want to be cuddled by all his favourite people, simultaneously.

“I think you’ll feel better if you talk to Phil though, you wont need to make up theories on why he said it anymore than you already have.”

Another nod, he knew confrontation was inevitable but he wanted to sit here a bit longer, with the shade from the trees and low hanging vines, to the roaring hot sun, it just felt so much better to try and think through his feelings here rather than having to think it all out while he was actually having the conversation with Phil.

“It’s hard” An almost exasperated sigh left his lips “I know Tommy’s just the priority because he’s the youngest. I love him too, so so much, but he didn’t even check to see if I got hurt though. He saw I wasn’t able to protect Tommy and he got mad.

“Today, Phil was tired and stressed and he said some really stupid things but Tech’ I can’t tell you what he meant by them, I’m telling you all these questions would be solved so much faster if we just went and spoke to him.”

“..okay let's go”

#techno #wilbur #technoblade #wilbur soot #dream #sapnap #georgenotfound #badboyhalo #fanfic #hurt/ comfort

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vavuska · 4 years ago

Text

‘Fuck this, ’ Strike said. ‘You don’t want to talk – I’m calling the police.’

Apparently she believed him. He had taken barely two steps towards the phone when she sobbed: ‘I wanted to stop you.’

‘Stop me doing what?’ said Strike.

‘Like you don’t know!’

‘Don’t play fucking games with me!’ Strike shouted, bending towards her with two large fists clenched. He could feel his damaged knee only too acutely now. It was her fault he had taken the fall that had damaged the ligaments all over again.

‘Cormoran, ’ said Robin firmly, sliding between them and forcing him to take a pace backwards. ‘Listen,’ she told the girl. ‘Listen to me. Tell him why you’re doing this and maybe he won’t call —’

‘You’ve gotta be fucking joking, ’ said Strike. ‘Twice she’s tried to stab—’

‘—maybe he won’t call the police, ’ said Robin loudly, undeterred.

The woman jumped up and tried to make a break for it towards the door.

‘No you don’t, ’ said Strike, hobbling fast around Robin, catching his assailant round the waist and throwing her none too gently back onto the sofa. ‘Who are you?’

‘You’ve hurt me now!’ she shouted. ‘You’ve really hurt me – my ribs – I’ll get you for assault, you bastard—’

‘I’ll call you Pippa, then, shall I?’ said Strike.

A shuddering gasp and a malevolent stare.

‘You – you – fuck—’

‘Yeah, yeah, fuck me, ’ said Strike irritably. ‘Your name.’

Her chest was heaving under the heavy overcoat.

‘How will you know if I’m telling the truth, even if I tell you?’ she panted, with a further show of defiance.

‘I’ll keep you here till I’ve checked, ’ said Strike.

‘Kidnap!’ she shouted, her voice as rough and loud as a docker’s.

‘Citizen’s arrest, ’ said Strike. ‘You tried to fucking knife me. Now, for the last bloody time—’

‘Pippa Midgley, ’ she spat.

‘Finally. Have you got ID?’

With another mutinous obscenity she slid a hand into her pocket and drew out a bus pass, which she threw to him.

‘This says Phillip Midgley.’

‘No shit.’

Watching the implication hit Strike, Robin felt a sudden urge, in spite of the tension in the room, to laugh.

‘Epicoene, ’ said Pippa Midgley furiously. ‘Didn’t you get it? Too subtle for you, dickhead?’

Strike looked up at her.

The Adam’s apple on her scratched, marked throat was still prominent. She had buried her hands in her pockets again.

‘I’ll be Pippa on all my documents next year, ’ she said.

(...)

‘I swear to God, ’ said Strike, whose much-tried knee was now throbbing in a way that made him want to grind his teeth, ‘if you go for that door one more fucking time I’m calling the police and I’ll testify and be glad to watch you go down for attempted murder. And it won’t be fun for you inside, Pippa, ’ he added. ‘Not pre-op.’

‘Cormoran!’ said Robin sharply.

‘Stating facts, ’ said Strike.

Pippa had shrunk back onto the sofa and was staring at Strike in unfeigned terror.

‘Coffee, ’ said Robin firmly, emerging from behind the desk and pressing the mug into one of the long-taloned hands. ‘Just tell him what all this is about, for God’s sake, Pippa. Tell him.’

Unstable and aggressive though Pippa seemed, Robin could not help pitying the girl, who appeared to have given almost no thought to the possible consequences of lunging at a private detective with a blade. Robin could only assume that she possessed in extreme form the trait that afflicted her own younger brother Martin, who was notorious in their family for the lack of foresight and love of danger that had resulted in more trips to casualty than the rest of his siblings combined.

(...)

‘Her own mother’s disowned her, ’ said Robin, ‘and she’s going through a really traumatic time, I expect, taking hormones and God knows what else she’s got to do before she has the operation. She thought she had a new family, didn’t she? She thought Quine and Kathryn Kent were her new parents. She told us Quine said she was a second daughter to him and he put her in the book as Kathryn Kent’s daughter. But in Bombyx Mori he revealed her to the world as half male, half female. He also suggested that, beneath all the filial affection, she wanted to sleep with him.’

‘Her new father, ’ said Robin, ‘had let her down very badly. But her new mother was still good and loving, and she’d been betrayed as well, so Pippa set out to get even for both of them.’

She could not stop herself grinning at Strike’s looked of stunned admiration.

(...)

The Silkworm, Robert Galbraith aka JK Rowling

In the scene, a young trans woman, Pippa, follows and tries to stab the protagonist, Cormoran Strike, before getting trapped in Strike’s office. After demanding Pippa’s ID, her trans status is revealed and her visible Adam’s apple is noted, while it's noted that her hands were jammed in her pockets. Pippa tries several times to escape the office before Strike finally says, “‘If you go for that door one more time I’m calling the police and I’ll testify and be glad to watch you go down for attempted murder. And it won’t be fun for you Pippa,’ he added. ‘Not pre-op.’”

Yes, Pippa is described in a very unflattering way, but in this novel, JK Rowling, describes all the suspects in a very unflattering way: it is about the greedy, ambitious and cruel world of English literature publishing.

By they way, when Strike realize that the woman he is seeing is not cisgender, his attention immediately focused on her hands and her Adam’s apple, that he didn't noticed BEFORE.

It's often funny how facial features and other things that distinguish a trans person for a cis person are only noticed after it is pointed out that that person is trans, as is depicted in this comic:

In this scene, to be fair, Robin, Strike’s secretary and assistant, tries blandly to protect Pippa from Strike’s rage against a person who tried to stab him.

After, we read about how Strike use menacing methods to have Pippa talk about Quine, her protector and putative father, and her feelings about how he portrayed her in Bombyx Mori.

Prison and rape. If you have previous experience in crime novels or TV show, you should know that that kind of menace is not unusual, but is reserved for pedophiles or young, fragile boys. Again, Corcoran Strike didn't recognize Pippa as the girl she is.

It is not unusual for the hero to threaten most weak characters.

After Pippa leave, we read from Robin's point of view her pity for the character and we read her trying to explain Pippa’s behavior to Strike. Robin blame Pippa’s hormones pills and experience as transgender person for her impulsive and violent behavior more than her feeling for being betrayed by her new father figure.

The impact of hormone therapy on emotional state varies from person to person. While gender affirming hormone therapy usually results in an improvement in mood, some people may experience mood swings or a worsening of anxiety, depression, or other mental health conditions as a result of the shifts associated with starting a second puberty.

JK Rowling told us, toward Robin's words, that this emotional instability happens to all transgender people who took hormones. And this is not true. This is a bunch of transphobic stereotypes.

By the way, while I read the book I found that Pippa's character was the most sincere and sane of the whole book: her friend Kath, Quine lover, who was considered by Pippa as a sort of new lovely mother, in reality uses her for satisfying her own self-esteem and don't even belive in her dreams. Kath lies to Pippa. She doesn't think she has talent or anything special, is just a "unfortunate poor creature" she took home to feel better on Pippa’s gratitude.

This novel is full of toxic characters, mostly women. But Pippa is not portrayed as bad as them, even if she stried to stab Strike, her actions find a sort of transphobical justification about her being a transgirl who took hormones pills.

“Poor girl, is not her fault: it's the hormones she took to make her so impulsive and aggressive.”

And that's transphobic as hell.

Check my GoodReads for more: [X]

#jk rowling #vavuskapakage #trans woman #the silkworm #robert galbraith #transphobic #stop transphobia #Transphobia #career of evil #intersectional feminism #inclusive feminism #jk rowling is a terf #jk rowling is a transphobe #vavuskabooks

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detroitbydark · 5 years ago

Text

Crossed Connections

Tech x Togruta!Reader

No warnings yet

Summary: Tech discovers that the net is a very small place and that he doesn’t know everything.

A/N: So this is based off the assumption that a galaxy far far away has their own form of internet dating. It’s crack. id love to write for these two in the future but It’ll likely just be scenes and things I find fun as me and fully functioning works of fiction just don’t mesh well.

This should be the calm before the storm, the time of preparation and meditation before the next mission. For most of the Bad Batch it is.

Crosshair, feet propped on the ships console dismantles and reassembles his sidearm before moving on the more formidable sniper rifle.Tech sighs loudly as his fingers dance over the datapad in his hand. He’s been doing it since they jumped to light speed. Usually he’d be rattling off a steady stream of facts on the planet they were heading to, its inhabitants, dangers, precautions needing to be taken. Now he was silent and that was not the clones default.

“Alright, I’ll bite '' Crosshair grumbles from the co-pilots seat. Tech looks up, shrugs and then sets the pad down, relieved his brother had finally taken the bait. The sniper continues to slowly work the oiled rag over his rifle.

“It’s nothing…”

“You're a fragging awful liar”

Crosshair didn’t care. Really. But...of all his vods he was least annoyed by the team's resident engineer/translator/tech genius. So, here he was, digging at the other clone in an attempt to get him to talk.

“It’s her-“

“Wait” Crosshair sets the rag and rifle down on his lap. His eyes narrow. “You mean to tell me you're still messing with that GalaxyMance stuff?”

Tech runs a hand over his closely cropped hair rubs roughly as the partial hawk. “Yeah, maybe… yeah.” He admits, avoiding the snipers focused stare.

“And you’re still hung up on that anonymous nerfherder.”

“She’s not a...” Tech defends trailing off as he narrows his eyes. Rutababy was not a nerfherder.

He was sure of it.

Yeah, pretty sure.

Mostly sure.

He was trying to play it cool, choosing not to do the digging he was more than capable of. He’d matched with Rutababy a few days after he’d set up the (very much against regulation) GalaxyMance account for fun. He’d just wanted to see if he could do it. If he could stay ahead of the brains at the GAR.

It was boredom, really. He wanted to play with routing his activity and bouncing his signals through different channels. It was just supposed to be a bit of a challenge.

And then he’d gotten a match.

He didn’t even have a profile picture up, for kriffs sake, just a picture of a scrawny Loth Cat he’d pulled from the Holonet. Apparently she liked Loth Cats.

They’d been sending messages back and forth since, he’d even talked to her over comms once. Her voice had been soft and smokey. She’d apologized and said it was often like that after work, that she talked so much at her job that she often found herself borderline hoarse afterwards.

She’d been a good listener. When he rattled on and on she seemed to even like it, asking questions that only fueled his descent into random, obscure subjects more.

Of course, some things they didn’t talk about. She didn’t know he was a member of the GAR and she sure didn’t know he was a clone. She didn’t press him for more than he’d give and he respected that about her and didn't press her for more either.

Tech huffs.

She was definitely not a nerfherder.

He picks his datapad back up and refreshes the screen. Still nothing from her. This was the longest he’d gone without hearing from her since they’d matched weeks ago. He wondered if she was-

Crosshair barks out a laugh that startles the younger clone from his thoughts.

“Yeah, Tech-vod, I’m sure she’s not” the sniper quips out the entirely unoriginal profile name his vod had chosen. Tech seems to relax and Crosshair smirks as he goes in for the kill, “she’s probably Trandoshan. You like lizards right?”

Hunter steps onto the bridge and it’s only because of his heightened senses that he barely misses the screwdriver flying toward his head as he steps between his men. It’s snatched out of the air, his face slowly turning toward Crosshair. The sniper gives him a lazy grin.

“Good timing Sarge”

Hunter’s eyes trail back to Tech. He looks flustered. His skin was paler than most clones, including the rest of the Bad Batch, and it only accentuated his reddened cheeks more. It was an uncommon sight for, arguably, the most level headed of the small unit. An eyebrow arches above heavy tattoos.

“I’m fine Sarge.” Tech tries to explain.

“His girly friend is ghosting him”

“SHE'S NOT-“

“Enough!” Hunter's voice is sharp. “You’re excused” he growls over his shoulder toward the sniper.

Tech can hear Crosshair grumbling as he gathers his rifle and supplies.

“...ruining all my fun”

Hunter waits til the soft whoosh of the bridge door before he says anything.

“You know nothing good can come of that” he points to the datapad. The usual growl of his voice tempered. “We’re different Tech, but we’re still clones and clones don’t get happy endings”

Tech’s jaw tenses as he nods, “there’s nothing wrong with pretending, Sarge”

Hunter nods, “is that what you're doing? Pretending to be excited when you get the new notifications? Pretending to walk on air after you talked to her? Was it pretending when you let Cross gaude you into chucking a wrench at him?”

“It was a screwdriver” Tech corrects, petulant with arms crossed tightly over his armor.

“Yeah, ok, you know best, don’t you? Smartest of all of us. Incapable of making a bad decision.”

Tech feels something akin the shame twist in his belly. Hunter was just trying to look out for him. He wasn’t poking like Crosshair, he wasn’t out right laughing like Wrecker had done.

“I hear what you’re saying.”

Hunter looks less than impressed, “Yeah? We’ll see”

------

You're running late.

Again.

You hurriedly button your shirt as you skitter around the corner, your badge swiping you through locked doors as you go. The laces of your left boot flop against the duracrete.

It was the third time this week and your CO was going to have your head. You push through the medbay door just in time to see your CMO, Slash, a serious looking clone with a permanent twist to his mouth, begin the morning meeting. Your jaw slams shut, incisors clicking together as you find a chair at the back of the assembled group. You ignore the looks that get flicked your way.

“So, we’ve got some new assignments coming our way.” He begins, his gaze traces over you and you cringe when he raises a brow in your direction. You mouth ‘sorry’ and hear the scoffs and smothered giggles of a few of the other civvie medics. Slash doesn’t waste another look your way and you feel insanely lucky that he must be feeling lenient this morning. You couldn’t handle another dressing down like you had received a few days ago.

You were a good medic. A damn good one but, by the force, the rest of your life was a mess. You’d always felt that leaving Kiros was the right choice but the loneliness you felt had only become more acute during your time in Coruscant. Where you’d once stood out too much amongst your tribe, you seemed to not stand out enough amongst the swell of people and species. Togruta were not wild about individualism and you stood out just enough to be off putting.

On Coruscant, your pale pink skin and montrails did very little to make you stand out in the hustle and bustle of daily life at all. It was hard for you to make friends, hard for you to connect. It was the same problems from Kiros all over again. It was you, not them.

It’s why you’d bit the blaster and signed up for GalaxyMance. It felt silly and ridiculous, but you were desperate to feel a connection to somebody, anybody. You’d been on a few dates too but nothing ever panned out. Some of them had loved your “exotic look” while others had taken one look and decided they’d pass. No one tried to get to know you.

Until Tech-vod.

You’d clicked on his profile after an awful day in the bay because of the silly Loth kitten he’d chosen as an avatar. Without much thought you read through his profile and sent off a cursory introduction and then thought nothing of it until he’d sent you a message back a few days later. It was funny, less of an introduction than a vomiting if facts on the Loth cats. It was cute. You’d never seen him but you were sure he was too. Pretty sure…

“Y/N”

You startle as CMO Slash barks your name.

“Sir?” You greet. Someone to your left snickers. Slash pinches the bridge of his nose.

“You’ve missed everything I’ve said, haven’t you?”

You don’t respond. You both know the answer and there’s no use lying. Your hand strays to one of the lekku hanging over your shoulder, fingers toys with it the way you’d done since you were a child, a tell to your parents about the state of your nerves.

“You’re being reassigned off world”

His words catch you by surprise. Your jaw gaps but nothing comes out. Sure you’d been late a few times and, yeah, maybe you hadn’t clicked with your team so well, but reassignment?

“Sir, I-“

He holds his hand up, “it’s not for discussion. This comes from higher than the likes of me. Transport leaves at 1600.”

You swallow hard, “where too?”

“Fort Anaxes.”

#tcw #tech x reader #the bad batch #tech #crosshair #hunter #id love to write more if there's interest #crossed connections

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athenaquinn · 4 years ago

Text

Strong Hand || Frank & Athena

TIMING: Present LOCATION: Soul on the Rocks PARTIES: @frankmulloy and @athenaquinn SUMMARY: A fae and a hunter walk into a bar... and then there’s Hughie.

Frank heard the reactions, born from her entrance alone, before he even saw her. Now that he looked up it was clear from his usual view from the bar that within the dim-lit picture that spanned out in front of him, something did not belong. A head of long yellow hair, to be specific. One, she was young. Two, she looked much too clean, too put together, to properly belong in the typical crowd that Soul attracted. Of course, that wasn’t to say that they didn’t take a liking to her. Frank watched as quiet fascination graduated to bold introductions; offers to buy her a drink, or bum her a smoke. Creepy-Joe remained stationary in his usual corner, watching but doing little else otherwise. Nothing offensive enough to warrant intervention so Frank returned his attention to the tasks at hand, cleaning and filling drink orders, all while keeping his attention outward for anything unseemly--or at least, by Soul’s standards. He didn’t notice how long time had passed or how long the girl had been sitting at the bar before she had flagged his attention. She was close enough for him to get a good look at her now and his suspicions were confirmed: much too young. Frank threw his towel over his shoulder, the usual distance of 6 feet maintained, “you got an ID for that order?”

She wasn’t stupid. Athena knew full-well that Soul on the Rocks was not her crowd. She’d lived in town all her life - which was certainly long enough and knew that of all the places to sneak into, that was usually the last on her list. The Bullet was where she preferred, and even though many of the people there had known her since she was a child they were alright with turning a blind eye and letting her order a proper drink. Sometimes, at least. However, she also knew that she was stubborn and that meant taking her fake ID and borrowing a leather jacket from one of the girls in her sorority and driving over to the bar. Part of her regretted the decision the second she opened the door and she felt all eyes on her - and though she loved attention, this was not exactly in the way that she typically preferred. Especially since most people in the bar were well-over the age of twenty-one and even over twenty-five or six. However, Athena was not one to back down from any challenge and so she tossed her hair over her shoulder and rolled her eyes at the offers to drink or smoke. “You know smoking kills you, right?” She bit back at one man. Before she could register his response, she felt her body tense up. Fae. There was a fae here and she couldn’t pinpoint exactly who the fae was just yet because there were far too many people backed into the bar. Taking in a deep breath, she made her way over to the counter. There was only one man behind the bar and she felt her skin crawl. Which meant he had to be the fae. Or at the very least she was in closer proximity to whoever the fae was. She pressed her palms against her thighs for a moment, grounding herself before she responded. “I do.” She flashed him a smile. Athena found that she regretted choosing a thin layer of lipgloss over the darker lipstick that Julia had offered her. She knew that she looked young, but usually a little flirting with a bartender made them forget that. Not yet willing to hand over her ID, she twirled her hair around her fingertips and leaned onto the countertop. Her skin was crawling, but she wasn’t going to give in. She was stronger than that. “I am admittedly newly twenty-one. Well, newly as in a few months ago.” She could feel the eyes of some of the other patrons on her. “Do you really need to see my ID? What’s the harm in a little trust?”

Frank recognised the lip-glossed smile, one that didn’t quite reach her eyes but if you tried hard enough you might be able to convince yourself that it did, artful twirling of her finger around her hair, the honey sweet tone that coated every word that came out of her mouth. Jake would have melted. Perhaps Frank would have too had he been younger, known less about what he was, what he could do. Before he had his good nature beaten out of him, not that there was any evidence on his skin as proof to the claim. The proof was ingrained in muscle memory and instinct, which manifested outwardly in carefully trained behaviour; like keeping his distance, and his hands, to himself—along with drinking himself into stupor in the hopes that it might dull the effect of any…influence that might have slipped past his guard. Which happened a lot more often than he liked to admit.

As she smiled up at him and Frank…well, his face was smoothed of any emotion to assume one of patient indifference. He was older now...and he wasn’t Jake. “Sure you are.” His arms were crossed over his chest, his finger tapping patiently against his side. While he might have let slide the little game she thought she was playing if they were at the Perfect Pint, the fact was, they weren’t. While it was of no fault of her own, Frank was also not oblivious to the eyes she attracted. “Look at where you are kid, you think this the sort of place that breeds trust?” He had half a mind to send her home now, though experience warned that- that was a sure road to a bad ending, one way or another. Then again, what did it matter? She wasn’t his responsibility, what the fuck did he care? He shouldn’t care about Ariana either but alas—he did care, and he cared now. Fuck. “Look, if you ain’t got an ID, I’m gonna send you home. Next time get a fake one or something.”

She noticed him watching her. Not that it was hard, being in such close proximity, but she felt uncomfortable regardless. Uncomfortable but necessary. Athena knew that she couldn’t very well kill this fae in the middle of a bar - though if there were a bar to do it, Soul on the Rocks seemed like just the place. Unfortunately, as unresponsive as he was to her hair-twirling, a man just down the bar was not - and he had to be at least in his late thirties. Athena rolled her eyes, adjusting her position - learning her arms further onto the bar, chin resting in the palm of her hand. She knew that she was attractive, and although the last thing she wanted was for a fae to be attracted to her (though how wonderful of an advantage would that be - what a way to get them all alone), if it got her something she needed, she could deal with it. It only further proved that she was good at masking her identity.

“I am.” She said, voice even. Her eyes narrowed at the kid remark, “well, I don't know, but can’t you just trust anyone?” Athena fought away the urge to smirk, instead letting her eyes grow wide. She was good enough at people watching to fake naïvety when the situation called for it. To fall into who she might have been if she and her brother shared more personality traits. “I do have an ID.” She slid it out of her wallet, handing it over to him. Joan Parrish, it read - not a total lie, though far from her real name - after all, she couldn’t have her parents getting in trouble, as they were upstanding members of the community. “Told you.” She tapped her nails on the countertop. “So, do I get a drink for free? I heard that sometimes if you’re lucky, that happens. I’ve already been offered that from other people here!” She could feel the cold iron of one of her knives against her hip, but she couldn’t use it. Not now. She could consider this a recon mission of some sort.

Frank answered her question with silence and a pointed look, his brows raised, as if the answer to the question seemed obvious enough that it needed no response. The word trusting and Frank could not be further opposites, anyone who knew him knew this, and even those who didn’t learned very quickly. He waited, watched, for the younger woman to produce her ID. When she does, he doesn’t take it from her hand, but waits until she puts it on the bar top. Joan Parrish. It was her face on the small card, and the date of birth proved that she was of age—if one was in the habit of trusting everything they read. Frank was not. Even if it didn’t, he seldom poured any great effort into inspecting anyone’s IDs, it was just a matter of doing his due diligence. Still doubtful of its authenticity, he returned the ID anyway (returning it to the bar top before stepping away for her retrieval). Her apparent confidence prompted an amused grin to crack over his lips, a chuckle building first in the depth of his chest which then formed the beginning of his words, “that might have worked on Jake kiddo, but I ain’t Jake. So I guess that means you ain’t so lucky tonight. Think about what you can afford and then get back to me, yeah?”

No sooner had the words left his mouth, a particularly eager patron broke through the throng and claimed an empty seat at the bar. He’ll pay for whatever the little lady wants, he said and he smiled and he turned that smile to her, and then Frank wasn’t smiling anymore. “Fuck off Jerry,” the word sliced through the noise and he said them without hesitation. “If you think she’s gonna go anywhere with you, you’ve got another thing coming, so walk on.” The man—Jerry’s mouth opened as the beginning of a retort was forming, Frank turned his gaze on him again, and wisely, he thought better of it and slinked off. Frank’s height and general aloofness afforded him an influence that was untouched by any sort of supernatural advantage, this served him tremendously in a place like Soul, while it didn’t help him back any friends he’s convinced himself that he liked that just fine. He turned back to the younger woman, Joan Parrish, a little apologetic, he did just rob her of a free drink. “I mean, do whatever the fuck you want. You can call him back if you really want that drink, he’ll be more than happy to come back if he thinks he’s got a shot.”

Athena watched the man inspect her ID. The rumors that she’d heard about Soul on The Rocks tended to imply that she wouldn’t be asked for her ID, but considering she’d accidentally walked into a place of employment of a fae, she figured that luck was not especially on her side tonight. “I don’t know who Jake is,” she responded, giving a shrug. “This is my first time here.” First and last, probably. Though she wanted to find out more about the man - find out as much as she could. Even though she knew her parents would frown upon her being in the bar, if she could learn more about the fae, then perhaps all would be forgiven. That was, if they ever even found out what she was up to. She hid very little from them, which meant that they very rarely suspected that she did anything but what exactly she told them.

However, as another man came over and began offering to buy her a drink, looking her up and down, she twisted her lips into something of a half-frown. Even if he wasn’t way older than her, he was entirely not her type. This might have been a mistake, Athena was starting to realize. Continuing to realize, if she were more willing to be honest with herself. If nothing else, the dim lighting and completely not her style music were signs that she probably shouldn’t have even bothered coming. He was defending her? The thought practically made Athena’s blood boil. She didn’t need defending, particularly not from a fae, but a small part of her figured that in any other scenario, she would be at least a bit grateful. It just had to be a fae, didn’t it? “Are you kidding me?” She practically spat. “No way ever. I do in fact have a solid head on my shoulders, and that means I don’t go off with strange men.” She was always deeply fascinated at how unaware fae could be when it came to who she was. Not that it was something she’d ever dare complain about, but it amused her all the same. “I think I’d like a hard cider though, and I can pay.”

“Clearly.” He said, a smirk pulling at the corner of his mouth, closed lipped and crooked, but still with its soft edge. Despite what his appearance, and his general demeanour even, might suggest, Frank was never very good at playing condescending or deceitful. Everything about him was always painfully honest. He was private, and liked his privacy, but was always truthful. Some might suggest the latter was the unfortunate side effect of his supernatural inheritance, but that was all Frank. While anyone’s introduction to Soul was a source of amusement, especially someone inexperienced with the bar’s particular crowd, a quiet wariness always hummed beneath the surface, ready to spring to action at a moment’s notice. “Ah—yeah, don’t worry about Jake. If you’re lucky you won’t have to know him.”

The cute coy-school-girl routine dropped for a moment, and the little tiger showed her teeth. A consequence of instinct and character rather than anything so superficial. People were always infinitely more interesting than the mask they put on for others. He wasn’t sure if she thought her little flirting game would work on him—and then he wondered whether he should be more concerned if he gave her an impression that it would—but if she failed to catch his attention before, she’s certainly got it now. “Kudos to you kid. You might actually survive this shit hole.” He said as he reached for the glass and began filling it with the question. Of course it’s a fucking cider. Soul wasn’t exactly known for its extensive cider collection, most opted for any option that got them the most drunk at the lowest cost. Cider was not exactly the bar’s drink of choice. “Your hard cider, Joan Parrish.” With the practice of one who’s done it a hundred times before, Frank slid the cider across the bar, the glass coming to stop at her hand with a gentle tap. His distance rule strictly obeyed. Ducking his head into the kitchen, Frank called to one of the workers there, one hand already in his jacket pocket to produce a little white box of cigarettes as he called for someone to get their ass out here while he takes his fucking smoke break. To Joan, he said, “you can pay Hughie for that cider, Joan Parrish.” To Hughie, he said, “Joan Parrish still needs to pay for her cider,” and added in a hushed tone, “and do me a favour, keep the creeps away from her please?” And then he was out the back door, a lone cigarette hanging from the corner of his mouth.

“Not that obvious, mister.” Athena wanted to bristle. Did, internally at least. If he was so damn keen on calling her kid then she’d fire right back. That was all she could do, right now. She wondered for a moment if there were any hunters in the bar. “Why, is he so much more boring than you are?” There was a giggle that followed her words, one that was likely too light and airy - more carefree than she usually found herself. One that drew a few more eyes as she finally resorted to covering her lips with a hand, refocusing back on the man. Apparently, acting overly calm and eager could do something of a wonder to stop her skin from completely crawling, though a certain part of her wanted to pull at it, just as she did whenever there were fae around, and particularly the ones who looked human.

“Trust me, I’m good at surviving a whole lot of things.” He seemed clueless enough to what she really was that she doubted that he’d take that remark as anything beyond a perhaps overly-confident co-ed, and that worked just fine for her. She wasn’t afraid to bite back if some creep thought they had half a chance with her. Athena had to admit she was a bit impressed the bar had a cider - though she knew it was a decently popular drink, this bar seemed far more the type of place to just have mediocre beer - though she supposed the same could be said about any number of the frat parties she went to. She caught the glass easily, curiosity piqued at the fact that he was staying away from her, potentially from any possible contact. She filed that away in her mind for later examination, for later when she was away from the bar that was practically buzzing. With a certain energy that she found herself equally repulsed and intrigued by. Incredibly unlike the life she was usually a part of, and for a moment she found herself feeling naïve - at least to a certain level. I wonder if that’s what my brother feels like all the time, Athena pondered for a moment before looking back over to the man, who was now leaving. “You’ll be back, won’t you?” She called out, before focusing on whoever else the fae had sent to babysit her. “How much do I owe you?” She asked Hughie, looking him up and down before pulling out her wallet and pulling out a twenty. “This should be enough, right? When’s my friend coming back over? Can’t believe he left right in the middle of our conversation.” A small pout formed on her lips. “So, Hughie? Name or nickname?” She took a sip of her drink, not quite focusing on him, but instead on the direction where the other man had gone, as if daring him to come back.

Mister. Frank noted a hint of derision that was lent to the word, a childish retort that was probably meant to rebel against the label he had given her. It was precisely something a kid would do, and it prompted a faint smile to curve at the edge of his lips. Then she giggled, and it was an uncommon enough sound that it attracted even more curious glances, thirsting for the pretty young flesh that had so generously presented herself to them at the bar. This time however, the boldness stopped at the glances; no one seemed particularly interested in following in Jerry’s misguided footsteps, or at least as long as Frank was still working the bar. So business went on as usual, at least for now. “Nothing stopping you from finding different company,” he raised his eyebrow in a kind of challenge, leaned forward just slightly, while still keeping respect to his six feet rule, “let’s just say, you giggle enough times and you can probably get as many free drinks as you want outta him.” That alone, Frank thought, spoke volumes about his particular…character. There was a reason Frank and Jake didn’t get along. Although Frank’s insistence that he was a slimey asshole (usually to his face) probably burned any bridges they had for reconciliation, which suited him just fine.

“Are you now?” There was something about Joan Parrish that Frank had come to enjoy—almost endear. Or the very least, found to be a source of light amusement. A certain battle-hardened naivety about her that appealed. No normal person was so quick to declare that they have survived things, and it spoke to something that she did. An unknown history that Frank was not privy to, and was still debating on whether he cared enough to want to be. Or maybe she was just a kid who said things she didn’t mean. Either way, that was a little note he tucked away, to be revisited later. She was drawn to him, for whatever reason, that much was obvious, or she wouldn’t have called out to him. He was suddenly very self-conscious of his abilities, one that seemed to operate of its own volition, sometimes even without him knowing. He spared a glance back at her but didn’t answer, and found himself that much more eager to get out and get himself back together. “He’ll be back,” Hughie answered for him, “he takes a lot of those…his smoke breaks. But he works harder than anyone here, and closes up after everyone and throws the assholes out, so the boss lets him.” He was not as tall as Frank, and was a skinny looking thing that could have a few years over Joan, but was definitely younger than Frank. Not a fae, but charming enough to be, certainly a lot more forthcoming than Frank was. He took the money from her and busies himself with getting her change, “plenty, thanks—and no, Frank hasn’t got any friends. I don’t know if you’ve met the man but he doesn’t exactly scream friendly. And god forbid he comes within a mile of you, literally. The day that man actually hands you a drink, will be the day hell freezes over. Oh, name’s Hugh, but everyone calls me Hughie which I think sounds a lot more…” His eyes look between the girl and the door, and then he laughs, “that son of a bitch. A little old for you isn’t he?”

She could feel the eyes on her and she shrugged it off. Even if they tried something, and something about the fae behind the bar seemed to be keeping them away, but even if they tried something Athena had no qualms dealing with them on her own terms. If anyone asked, it was easy enough to say that she’d trained at her mother’s gym - or rather, Linda Quinn’s, since she wasn’t Athena, not right now. Soon enough she wouldn’t need the fake, but it was working overtime to her advantage right now. Both for getting her into the bar and for keeping her proper identity secret from the fae behind the bar - though her face would remain the same - but if it came to that - when it inevitably did, unless someone else got to it first - it wouldn’t matter. “Mm,” she murmured, glancing over her shoulder before she refocused back on him, watching as he leaned just slightly closer to her. “Well, he seems like a skeevy kind of guy, then, though I appreciate the tip.” Her lips curved up into a smirk. “Good to know how to get free drinks if I feel a need for it.” She adjusted the jacket, a sudden chill rolling through her body, though she couldn’t tell if it was due to someone opening the door or the continued presence of a fae so very close to her.

“I am.” She replied. He didn’t reply much beyond that, didn’t ask probing questions that could have so easily come along with it. That sometimes did, if she happened to off-handedly mention it to anyone else. Which she usually didn’t, or followed it up with how tiring being pre-med was - which wasn’t a total lie. It just wasn’t as tricky to figure out as some of the creatures she’d studied. Studied and dealt with, though Athena didn’t find any of that too difficult in the end, either. She gave a small huff at his utter lack of response, but allowed herself to refocus on Hughie who was, thankfully, not fae. She let her gaze flick up and down, taking him in, letting a smile settle on her lips once again. “Well, hard work should be rewarded.” Athena had half a mind to follow him outside, because then they would be all alone - but it was too obvious, too easy to point to her, and besides, Hughie seemed certainly more willing to talk to her. She pocketed the change, not looking back behind her again - any of the other creeps in the bar were at least maintaining their distance, whatever else they were doing mattered little to her. Inconsequential, in the end. “Well,” she began, biting her lip in false shyness once again, “his tricks are something.” He didn’t like to touch people. Her mind was spinning, narrowing down to what he might be. Of course, there was always the chance of being an overly-cautious fae, but she also knew there were certain ones for whom touch played a role. “Hughie’s a nice nickname. I -” she couldn’t fight back another laugh of her own, still light and carefree, at his next remark. “Oh him?” Tongue pressed against the roof of her mouth, she weighed her options. “I mean, I guess? He seems to care so much though, and what’s not appealing about that? He is old though. Well, comparatively speaking.” She permitted her gaze to focus on the door for a few moments more - a few moments beyond what might have been typical, before refocusing on Hughie. “Nice of you to stick around and keep me company though, I do appreciate that.”

A light blush coloured his cheeks, but he never shied away from flattery. Hughie blossomed under praise and kind words, a stark contrast to his co-worker who bristled at them, and guarded himself against them with a defensive word or cold silence. A sure way to sever any ties before it had even a chance to form. That was Frank. Hughie threw his head back and laughed, and if the word honest could be attributed to any laugh, it would be his. There was nothing derisive or sarcastic, not even a waver that might suggest jealousy. “Trust me Joan, you would not be the first, or the last person, to think that—or the first or the last to try. That is if you’re into the whole tall, quiet, mysterious and stupidly good looking types.” A stroke of luck with his god-given genes, some might say. Though ‘lucky’ was not the word Frank would use, and despite being raised Catholic, Frank didn’t believe in God. “Although to his credit, I think he does care, like genuinely. He looks out for people, he breaks up fights—well, I say ‘break up fights’, but he mostly just gets his ass handed to him. And then he goes and pays for their cab so they can get home. I mean Frank can be an ass, but it’s hard to hate the guy.” Hughie noted once more her wandering gaze back to the door, for a split second too long, and a hint of pity was found in the smile that now shaped his lips. “He is old—comparatively speaking. Although I should probably also tell you that he hasn’t shown any interest in anyone. Not once, not as long as I’ve worked with him anyway.” When her focus shifted back to Hughie, he was all mush in her hands. His grin was all teeth, both stupidly sincere and shamelessly pleased. “I think you’re real sweet, Joan. I mean it’s not exactly saying much considering the types we get in here, but you’re a lot nicer to look at for sure.”

Hughie wasn’t the only one to think so. The bold gazes found new courage in Frank’s absence, and more of them were suddenly very keen for a drink at the bar, and their generosity extended to the young woman that was already there. “Come on man, she’s minding her business, leave her alone.” His warnings and protests were silent to ears that considered rejection a challenge. Hughie was kind, and to those whose language was aggression and violence, his kindness was taken as harmless. Frank was not harmless, and his return was marked with a brusque, “fuck off Jerry,” as he grabbed a towel from under the bar and threw it over his shoulder: smoke break was over. “I’ll call a fucking cab next, I won’t ask again.” Hughie, visibly relaxed by Frank’s return, dipped his head to whisper something conspiratorial to Joan, a barely concealed laugh colouring his every word, “calling them a cab is Frank’s way of a threat.” Frank, who’d heard the hushed exchange, did not find it equally amusing. “Fuck off Hughie.” If you knew him just enough, which Hughie did, you could hear a ‘thanks’ in there.

There was something certainly satisfying about knowing that she could get a reaction out of the other bartender. Athena settled into a comfortable smile again, letting her hair fall over her shoulders as her fingertips tapped against the cider glass. “Try?” She said, tilting her head. She supposed it was comforting - to a degree - that her recon was easily dismissed as a childish crush. She wondered about Hughie - wondered if he felt secondary to the other man - the one who was, apparently stupidly good looking. “Maybe I am, who knows, really?” She let one finger tract the divots on the counter stop, making eye contact with Hughie as she did so. Though she had no interest of a romantic sort in either of the bartenders, a little extra attention to the one that was quite possibly ignored for favor of a fae who could trick and manipulate those around time couldn’t hurt. Besides, there was something incredibly endearing about him. Hard to hate unless you know what he is. She shrugged. “He seems real noble, huh? Besides, I’m not that young, but I understand your point. It’s all comparative, hmm?” Hughie turned back to her and he had a similar look on his face to many of the freshman boys who she sometimes saw around campus. “I think I might be terribly offended if you thought I wasn’t nicer to look at.”

She made a face at the other men who had decided that now was the time to return to the bar. Well, the rumors about this place certainly hadn’t been exaggerated. It was sweet that Hughie was doing his best to fend them off, though Athena had half a mind to turn around and deck one of them herself. Particularly that Jerry character. Turned out that she didn’t have to, given that she felt her skin crawl again before she saw him, and watched Jerry slink away, another laugh - though a bit more biting this time - escaped her lips. She turned to Hughie, running her tongue over her teeth and raising an eyebrow at his words. “Well, hey, at least it means the general public doesn’t have to deal with them.” Athena settled back, offering a shrug. “He’s just helping me, and since his name isn’t Jake I figured it’s safe, isn’t it?” She winked at Hughie before taking another sip of her cider. “You know cigarettes can kill you, right?” A repeated remark that she’d given to one of the patrons, earlier. This time however, there was a hint of amusement that would suggest a certain playfulness. Not that I’d mind, even if you have kept these creeps away. “Will you drink with me, at least?” Her gaze flickered over to Hughie. “Either of you.”

Hughie answered her with a pursed lip and a pensive expression. He didn’t just wear his heart on his sleeve, Hughie was all heart. He had enough heart in him to give to every pretty smile and every kind word he received, and he gifted them freely and in earnest. And he needn’t bribe anyone with promises of free drinks to convince them he was charming, he just was. Perhaps it was this charm or his naivety or a combination of both that had endeared him to Frank. With the knowledge of the world that existed beneath Hughie’s mundane one and the creatures that lived within it (creatures like him), the latter had warned him of his habit, though Hughie never took much notice of it. That was just Frank being Frank, he thought and Frank’s warning had been abandoned long before Joan smiled at him. “Noble is a strong word. I mean, the guy’s still an asshole.” He grinned, and did not mind saying it aloud considering how often he’d said it to Frank’s face. Frank just grunted, which means it must be true. And it was. “Don’t be. You look very nice.”

His hand operated entirely on its own accord as Frank made drinks that he’s done a hundred times before, for patrons he’s seen just as frequently. He was still technically on the clock, and Joan wasn’t the only one at the bar. Even as his hands worked, his mind was elsewhere, he spared a glance, and an ear, at the two as they laughed to themselves (“Ew—yeah, Jake is his own brand of asshole. Definitely do not get free drinks from him,” Hughie chimed). He recognised instantly that wretched hand of envy as she grabbed his inside and twisted it, giving rise to the ugly feeling. He envied their distance, the literal closeness as Hughie lent over the bar to reach her ear. He envied that they can joke and Hughie could be charming and pleasant and have his company be enjoyed and know with complete certainty that the reciprocated amiability was a result of him, because what else could it be? The simple, magnificent, connection between two people. Truth was, Frank was all heart too, he was just always too afraid to use it. For good reason. He answered her words with a raised brow, a smirk pulling at the corner of his mouth; this was not the first time he’s heard this. Judging by her tone, it was not the first time she’s said it. “It can try,” he said, and it was casual enough to be taken as a joke, though the downward turn of Hughie’s lips showed that only Frank thought it was funny. That was because Hughie didn’t know that cancers don’t kill Gancanaghs, though Frank certainly smoked enough to test that theory. “I don’t drink on the job.” Frank said, just as Hughie answered, “yeah, sure!” He turned to Frank, eyes silently begged for permission, and Frank hadn’t the heart to say no. Oh what the fuck. “You are paying for every fucking glass Hughie.” As if the kid had the tolerance to go for more than a couple of pints. “No one hears of this, or you’ll hear from me.”

“Eh, still seems noble to me.” Athena grinned. “I mean, I don’t think it’s best if I say anything about the second part, because he’s been nothing but more than civil to me.” She could comment, if she wished, about the fact that he wasn’t human, that his niceties could easily be a front to whoever he really was - but perhaps that was another discussion for another time. If she ever got Hughie alone, to poke and wonder just what he knew, though she knew that she’d have to be delicate in her questioning, given how entirely oblivious the vast majority of the town was. It meant she’d have to find some way to see him again that didn’t involve coming to a creepy bar that smelled far too much of tobacco. “Well, if you say so, I’ll acquiesce, I suppose I do look good and a compliment from you is better than the others out there.”

Athena kept her gaze trained halfway on Frank even as Hughie whispered in her ear. If he was one of the species that she figured he might be, she had half a mind to say that she was safe, that he couldn’t harm her. But instead she bit her lip, gaze torn between the two of them. “I’ve got no plans to get any drinks or talk with Jake, don’t you worry - but it is sweet of you to look out for me.” It was part of a game, because people usually based their opinions on how someone looked, and she knew that she didn’t exactly look tough. She let her grin turn open-mouthed, running her tongue along the bottoms of her teeth. “Well, it can, and I could tell you about the damage it does to your insides, but maybe that’s not proper bartop conversation, hmm?” Raising an eyebrow, she shrugged at Frank’s refusal to drink. She hadn’t expected either of them to agree, but she supposed that she ought to not have been very surprised when Hughie was jumping to agree. He reminded her a bit of a puppy dog, in a way that she did admittedly find a bit charming. Maybe the factor of comparison played a role, too - what with being compared with a literal fae and a much of thirty and forty-somethings who remained far too eager to steal glances at her, though a good number of them were at least somewhat ignoring her now that she was focused in on the two bartenders. Athena took another careful sip of her cider, the playful and somewhat coy grin from earlier returned. “What will you be drinking first, Hughie?” she giggled. “Will Frank at least talk with us? I know I can provide better and more enlightened conversation than, well…” she waved her hand behind her. “Them.” She let her lips form into a pout. “Please?” Even if batting her eyes proved mostly fruitless on the fae, it didn’t hurt. Provide him with the sense that she was anything but a threat.

Hughie’s smile was wide, positively brimming with a lightness that did not belong in Soul. He’d tangled himself in the vines of Joan’s apparent loveliness and seemed to be in no rush to get himself out. Such was the romanticism of youth. Frank looked at the world through the cracks of the rose coloured lens, and it warned him to keep his distance; so he does. Hughie was too trusting, incredibly so. His smile said that he would throw himself to the wolves to ‘look out’ for the young woman sitting next to him, and Frank knew that he would sooner be ripped to shreds before he got a chance to save anybody, and if Hughie knew what was good for him, he would already be on his way back into the kitchen. “Thanks doc but I know what it can do,” to most humans anyway. “Don’t mean I’m gonna stop doing it.” Hughie turned to Joan, a resigned look on his face, and simply shook his head, “don’t bother. I’ve already tried. Many, many, times.”

Before Hughie could give an order, a pint of beer had travelled the length of the bar and stopped at his hand. He took a tender sip at first—nobody came to Soul to sample their most favourite drinks and the beer that Frank handed (or more accurately, slid across the careful distance of 6 feet) to him was far from his, but it was pleasant enough that the sip became a mouthful. “House lager,” he said, and after another mouthful, added, “it’s alright.” Frank, who was not attached enough to anything, much less the drinks at his least favourite bar, was not offended enough to give a reaction and continued fussing over some glasses for some more drink orders. Joan Parrish was a picture that resembled everything exquisite and delightful about youth. She was all play, with her pout shaped mouth and batted lashes, and the glimmer of something more secret behind pretty blue eyes. It charmed both the Hughie’s and the Jerry’s of the world. It might have endeared itself to Frank too had he let it, but true to form, he remained distant and detached, and answered with a simple: “Hughie can keep you company. He loves to talk, the trick is to get him to shut up…” Hughie launched into his objection at Frank’s accusation, but the latter’s attention was already lost. He was looking past them and out toward the middle of the bar, where the root of a brawl was beginning to take shape in the form of loudly traded words that graduated into a shoving match. “Fuck me.” He muttered under his breath. Frank doesn’t miss a beat, and tossed the towel aside as he carved a path out into the storm. The first fist of the night was thrown, and it cracked across Frank’s jaw with enough force to knock his head to one side. In fairness, the target was not Frank but the man behind him whom the bartender had pulled out of the fist’s trajectory at the last possible moment. Hughie winced, but didn't move from his seat. This was not his first fight at Soul, or the first time he’s seen Frank take a punch. He calmly reached over the bar, found Frank’s phone (punched in his passcode) and dialed a number. “I guess I’ll be calling the cab then.”

“Well, can’t say I didn’t warn you then,” Athena shrugged. She held a certain sort of delight with how much Hughie was smiling. It was almost enough to distract from the fact that there was a fae in this bar who was helping her and who she couldn’t kill. Almost. “Well, it’s good he has someone like you.” She didn’t laugh this time, but instead let her smile do all the talking. It drew less attention she found, and that was for the best, at least here. She was good at keeping secrets, keeping herself toned down when need be, though she did prefer to be more the center of attention usually.

Either these two did truly know one another in a way similar to how Athena knew Amanda, or Frank was just good at guessing orders or wanted Hughie to shut up. She couldn’t quite pinpoint it, which was a bit of a source of frustration for her, but she had gotten better about dealing with her frustrations as she’d grown up. This wasn’t some chess game when she was little, when she’d get terribly annoyed every time her brother took too long choosing the next move when they were playing chess. How she’d once gone through nearly an entire box of colored pencils in kindergarten, snapping each one as she tried to color in a picture all while sensing that one of her classmates was fae, but when the feeling was still new and entirely consuming so much so that she couldn’t pinpoint it. Regardless, Hughie had his drink now and Athena didn’t drink beer, but she had half a mind to reach out and ask if she could try some. Perhaps she would, soon, but not yet. “The cider’s great, if you want to try that.” She replied instead, unable to help herself. “I don’t have any germs, I like to keep myself clean as possible.” She glanced back over to Frank, watched as he meticulously cleaned the glasses (though, Athena had to wonder, would the clientele here really care if one was a bit smudged with a questionably cloudy mark?). If this was to be counted as recon, and she had to count it that way - and learning any sort of habit was beneficial in the long run. “Well, I love to listen, so it works out just fine.” Except before she could do more listening of the man near her, she heard a fist collide with someone’s jaw and then Frank was moving over and apparently what Hughie had said was true, because he was trying to break the fight apart and Athena sat with quiet fascination, though outwardly she shifted her expression into one of concern. “I guess you will.” She said, turning back over to Hughie. Palms pressed against her thighs, she let her eyes grow wide. “Can I help you?” Tongue held between her teeth, she blinked just how she knew she was supposed to whenever something terrible was going on. “We can get drinks another time.” That much permitted a shift to a teasing smile. “I just - is Frank going to be okay?”

Frank doesn’t swing but sidestepped every throw hurled at him. For one as tall as he was he moved with remarkable grace, although it was probably very easy to look graceful when one knew what he was doing and the other two were flinging their fists around in desperate, drunken, Hail Mary attempts at hitting something…anything. To their credit some of those blind throws landed, others merely clipped him, though neither had enough force to do any real damage. Which was just as well. He has yet to have a conversation about broken bones that healed overnight that did not end terribly at worst, and very awkwardly at best. “Oh don’t worry he’ll be fine.” Or he was until one of those Hail Mary throws saw Frank’s cheek at the end of a fist. He stumbled, but recovered quickly enough before the second Hail Mary found him. “Yeah…He’ll be fine.” Said Hughie, more to himself now. “Walk it off Frankie! That’s a lad!”

It was a battle against time at this point; more energy was required to throw a punch than to avoid it, and they always tired themselves out in the end. It was a sort of dance they’d watched him do enough times that one would think they would eventually catch on. Alas, anger made for poor decision making and with intoxication at its right hand the outcome was a predictable one, although they always seemed very surprised when Frank outlasted them. And he always did. This time, he caught one by the scruff of his shirt, and the other by the arm (his hand on the sleeve of the other’s jacket), which Frank had pinned up against his back as he pushed them both forward toward the door. Moans and groans and a chorus of general dissatisfaction ushered them out; the fight was over though not many were very happy about that. Hughie who was watching the unravelling of the events very closely, Frank’s phone still held up to his ear, let out a breath of relief as he finished the last of his instructions into the receiver. “Yeah, for two people…separately. If that’s okay?…okay? Okay. Thank you.” Frank was already out of the bar at this point, he’d just caught a glimpse of him throwing the two (barely) fighters to separate ends of the curb as the door closed behind him. Hughie pocketed the phone and turned to Joan with an offer of a small apologetic smile. He’d wanted to impress her with a pleasant time, in a hopeful bid to get her to come back so he might see her again. He had liked her, and you don’t find girls like Joan Parrish in places like Soul on the Rocks. Although after what had just happened, he decided that it might just be as well. “I’m sorry, I have to go make sure he’s okay.” He had half a mind to tell Joan to stay put. The last thing Hughie wanted was to put her in the company of two men who, only moments ago, seemed bent on tearing each other, and Frank, apart—although the alternative to that option offered him little comfort. “Do you want to come with?”

Even Athena had to wince at the fight breaking out in front of her. She was used to training, used to fights designed for the purpose of bettering oneself and not for the purpose of trying to - well, she didn’t even know what the fight had started about. Only that it now involved two drunk men and a fae who she watched more carefully - that part held in certain fascination, watching his movements and the way he held himself. Just in case, she reminded herself. It was always important to understand how others worked - their bodies and minds. Particularly people like Frank. She glanced back over to Hughie, who seemed incredibly willing to cheer on his - friend? - Athena was not quite sure, but his eagerness continued to be fascinating to observe.

She bit her lip as the other men in the bar groaned as the two drunks were ushered out. This place really was something else, though Athena found that she did not entirely regret coming, if only because she had now discovered a fae who she had never found before. There was always the chance that she would have run into him elsewhere in town, but here she got the chance to be not herself and that permitted her a certain level of power. Though she very much doubted that he thought of her as vulnerable entirely (she could read his facial expressions well enough to know otherwise), he certainly had no idea what she was properly capable of, given an opportunity. She let her gaze shift back to Hughie. She almost felt bad for how much her lips turned to pouting around him, how much of a thrill she got out of his reactions - though at the same time she wasn’t entirely opposed to them either. She listened as he ordered cars for whoever was out there, drew designs in the water that had fallen from the condensation on her cider glass, both their drinks now long forgotten. “Don’t be sorry.” She let her gaze fall to him again, all softness and caring. Besides, she’d lost track of Frank as well - though she presumed he was outside with the drunks. “Yes. Yes, I would like that very much.” She hopped off of the stool and wrapped her jacket around herself. “That is, if you’ll have me, of course.”

Frank turned at the sound of the bar’s aged hinges groaning, a sharp word taking shape on the tip of his tongue, poised to command any over-zealous spectator that followed them out to take their sorry behind right back in. Alas the words never became more than a thought long forgotten as a mop brown-curly head emerged from the bar, a smaller blonde one following close behind. Frank’s surprise was not for Hughie, whom he’d already expected to come check on him, as he usually does, but was reserved for Joan Parrish. She was apparently not the little flower that shrank from a fight but rather a woman of firmer constitution that followed it out. Perhaps she was neither of these things, and was simply another over-eager spectator with the difference of a pretty face and a more expensive outfit. Although the way she regarded them, regarded him, Frank suspected that it was the former—either way, there was more to Joan Parrish than a pretty smile and a cute glass of cider, and he filed this little piece of information away. Maybe he would see her again, maybe he won’t, either way it didn’t hurt to know. Not that it made any great difference to Hughie of course, who perhaps did not realise the same caution Frank did, or he did and simply didn’t care. Even with Frank minding the two drunks, Hughie kept himself firmly fixed between them and her. “Your phone Frankie.” Hughie took a step forward, the phone in hand, but Frank stopped him and gestured to him to throw it over instead. Unknown to Hughie, he was edging much too close to Frank’s 6 feet, but he didn't question it (although the prospect of closing the distance between himself and the two violent drunks could have something to do with it) and did as he was asked. “And don’t call me Frankie.”

“Cab should be here soon,” Hughie casted an apprehensive eye on the two shadows that sat at opposite ends on the curb, Frank standing firmly between them. “You look…good.” You could practically hear the wince that seeped from Hughie’s face and into his words. The street lamp did him little favours on his split lip, and the dark purplish shadow that sat prominently against his cheekbone. Alas, Frank wasn’t looking at Hughie but rather past him, at the woman that had not said a word in this entire exchange. She didn’t look afraid but rather fascinated, and so was Frank. “Sorry about that ugliness back there.” He said. Hughie, as if realising that Joan was still behind him, a new development as far as Frank was concerned considering he hadn’t lifted his gaze from her since it found her, said rather sheepishly, “oh, yeah. I didn’t want her to be left alone with that lot back in there so I thought—” Frank didn’t give him the chance to explain, and went on as if he had not said anything at all. “Are you leaving too?”

She could feel Frank’s eyes on her, but it did little to bother her, to knock her off balance. Athena wasn’t so easily moved, even if he could practically see his mind working, as if trying to figure out who she was. Even if she never returned to Soul on The Rocks, she fully intended to run into him again, either purposefully or on accident. There was far too much that she was curious about, so much so that her curiosity seemed to have alleviated the chills under her skin. Which was something else she filed away - if she turned everything into work for the sake of curiosity whenever she could, then perhaps she could more easily work to stop feeling on edge every time she came near anything fae-related. She focused her attention back on the matter at hand, watching Hughie as he gave Frank back his phone, and she watched to see how much he would react to being so close. She had half a mind to try it a bit herself - and perhaps she would have, but the two now rather dejected but still fairly drunk men were not something she wanted to deal with.

She continued to watch the exchange between the two of them until she felt Frank’s eyes on her again. “I mean, I guess I should’ve expected that.” She shrugged, eyes growing just slightly plaintive. Athena realized then that perhaps Hughie had been a bit too focused on the phone return to notice her. Or remember that she was there, and she offered him a smile that said thank you for caring, or at least, she hoped that it did. “He was just trying to look out for me, I think.” Pursed lips and a shrug followed that. “I might be leaving.” She let her gaze focus back on Hughie. “Unless I was given reason to stay - but I think that given the experience with the patrons,” she looked back at the door, “given all that - you two have been real kind to me,” she forced a blush onto her cheeks as she looked between them, “maybe it’s best if I do go.” She pulled out her own phone. “Though,” she turned to face Hughie, “if you wanted to hang out without creeps hitting on me and without your boss having to break up bar fights, I’d be down.” She looked back over to Frank, “you should probably get some ice for that to reduce the swelling, though you took that better than I imagine most would’ve.”

“I’m not his boss.”

“He’s not my boss.”

Their words were said at the same time. Hughie, because he liked Frank too well to ever think to form an association between him and their actual boss. Frank, because—simply, he didn’t care to be anyone’s boss. His aversion to telling people what to do could be credited as a consequence of his supernatural abilities. It was also just as likely that it was just Frank being Frank, or maybe a combination of both. He watched as Hughie positively lit up at her invitation, his heart pumping a light dusting of pink to colour his cheek. “Yeah? I mean—yeah, yes! Of course!” He quickly wiped his hands on his jeans, and with visible effort to keep it from trembling, proceeded to put his number into her phone. “Christ…” Frank’s eyes turned heavenward, desperate to look at anything else that might spare him from further witnessing Hughie’s love-sick bumbling routine. He caught Joan’s eyes, and her remark prompted his hand to absently nurse the sore on his cheek. “I’ll live,” he said and tried not to think about the pain that was emanating beneath.

Sweet relief took the form of two cab cars as they pulled up against the curb, one after the other. Frank took the first of the drunks by the arm and stuffed him into the back of one cab, deposited some cash into the driver’s window and did the same for the second offender. He tapped his hand against the roof of the cab and the last car pulled away. Just like that, the night came to a sudden stillness and all seemed quiet once more. Alas, silence was a delicate glass and in the hands of drunken idiots, it could do little else but break. In the case of Soul on the Rocks, it quite literally shattered as the sound of glass breaking could be heard from inside the bar. A reminder to both Frank and Hughie that they were still on the clock. Dutifully and without a word, Frank stepped away from the curb and headed for the bar. For a brief moment, he met Joan’s eyes, and he didn’t falter but came to a deliberate halt in front (but still distanced) of her. “Don’t take this the wrong way Joan Parrish, but I really hope I don’t see you here again.” He said and ducked back into the bar, the door creaked open, bleeding sound into the night, and then closed behind him, and then quiet. This time it was Hughie who broke it, and he did so with a grin that he turned to Joan, “I think he likes you.”

#wickedswriting #c frank #chatzy #strong hand #// jt is a gift to us all #frank is literally the best #this chatzy was one of my favorites ever #and it accidentally turned into being uhh 14.5 pages #don't @ us pls #we got carried away

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brasskier · 4 years ago

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First chapter of my six-part fluffy geraskefer modern AU holiday series spanning five years of holiday celebrations is up!

Christmas 2016, or The One Where Flights are Cancelled. After a string of delayed flights and closed rail lines, Geralt, his new music teacher friend Jaskier, and his on-again/off-again girlfriend Yennefer find themselves trapped on Christmas Eve. Thank god for duty-free stores.

Read it below the cut or on my ao3

When Geralt first met Jaskier, checking an ID he was almost certain had to be fake (it wasn't; Jaskier was twenty-four), he slid off his coat to reveal an incredibly garish reindeer-emblazoned tie. At Geralt's judgemental stare, he shrugged and said, "work party."

"Pre-gaming or post-gaming?" Geralt gave him a sympathetic smile.

"Post." He settled onto the barstool, called for a Blue Moon - "and don't forget the orange slice!" - and let out an exhausted sigh before returning his gaze to Geralt. "It's just - it's my first year teaching, and I'm not really used to the political fraternizing, which is hard enough. But they nearly cut the music program before they ended up hiring me, so not everyone's exactly happy to see me there." He scrubbed a hand against his face, noting silently that he needed to shave. "Sorry, didn't mean to chew your ear off." Geralt shrugged again from the doorway. It was a slow, dull night, the usually thriving college-town bar nearly dead over winter break.

"Not like I don't get paid for it." This elicited a chuckle out of Jaskier, who seemed to relax some. "You teach music?"

"Yeah." He smiled fondly. "High school. Had every intention of making it big and touring the world, or maybe becoming principal trombone at the Phil. Just wasn't in the cards."

"I'm not exactly familiar with classroom politics, but I know someone who might have some pointers." He was referring to, as he'd later reveal to Jaskier, his on-again/off-again, city councilwoman girlfriend.

"I do like Christmas, you know," Jaskier's voice came again from the bar, between sips at his beer. "Just not the parties."

"Humbug." Jaskier giggled again, swiping the foam mustache off his lip with the back of his hand. "Geralt, by the way."

"Jaskier." He sat in contemplative silence for a moment. "What time do you get off?" Geralt's brow furrowed, startled by the question. "It's just - I just - sorry if that was a little forward." He heaved a sigh. "My apartment's decorated. Thought you might like to see it."

"Hmm." He glanced down at his watch, then up at the bar, empty save for Jaskier and a handful of other patrons. "Ten." Jaskier's face lit up.

Decorated, as it turns out, was an understatement, and Geralt couldn't help but gawk as Jaskier led him through the threshold of his tiny apartment. A beautiful, grand tree stood in the corner of the living room and stretched so tall it nearly scraped the ceiling. Tinsel and garlands adorned the doorways and the arch leading to the kitchen, a buffalo plaid throw was carefully folded on the back of the couch, and a single stocking hung just below the television. Lights snaked around the perimeter of the room, warm white and snowflake-shaped.

"Do you like it?" Jaskier asked pleadingly, shattering the protracted silence.

"It's cozy," Geralt remarked. It really was. He flopped unceremoniously onto the couch while Jaskier disappeared into his kitchen.

"Jack or moscato?" He called from the archway, holding up a bottle of whiskey in one hand and white wine in the other. "Sorry, I don't have much right now."

"Jack is fine." He gazed around the room absentmindedly. "On the rocks." Jaskier returned before long, pressing a glass of whiskey into his hand before sipping at his own glass of wine.

"Wanna watch something? I have Netflix." Geralt, against his better judgement, shrugged and agreed.

Jaskier was back at the bar not even a week later, excitement flashing across his face when he laid eyes on Geralt. To his credit, Geralt was keenly aware that the man had never visited the bar in his life prior to last week, let alone frequented the establishment. He just decided some things were best left unsaid.

Speaking of unsaid, Jaskier was in love - it was obvious from the way he’d follow Geralt around like a lost puppy. Started lingering around the bar every evening, choosing the seat nearest the door every time, inviting Geralt back to his apartment just as frequently. And Geralt would usually accept, watch stupid movies through all hours of the night until his new music teacher friend inevitably passed out, and then silently creep out of the apartment.

It was three days before Christmas, and the chatter of choice for the evening was holiday plans. Jaskier, as it turned out, had a flight to catch back to Jersey.

"The worst part's taking NJ Transit down to Lettenhove," he groaned, nursing a bay breeze complete with the little paper umbrella. "It's always delayed coming out of Newark." Geralt himself had plans back in the mountains of Vermont, mainly dinner and then watching his younger brothers play football with nothing but shorts on in the freezing cold over a few cigars with his old man.

"I have a layover in Newark," he remarked idly. Yennefer - who had hit it off interestingly with Jaskier, to say the least - was heading to New York, and he'd arranged his first flight so they'd be on it together. Which meant it was way earlier than he liked.

"What time? Maybe we'll run into each other." Jaskier looked way too excited by that possibility, leaning back on the bar with all the composure of a middle-schooler. Geralt, despite his best efforts, couldn't help but find it endearing.

"8:15," he grumbled, exasperated just thinking about having to be at the airport at 6am. Jaskier's head perked up.

"Delta?" He asked, grin growing impossibly bigger by the minute. Geralt nodded, and Jaskier was already tearing through his phone to pull up the app. "What gate?"

"Hold on." He fished his own phone from his pocket with a quick glance over his shoulder to make sure his boss wasn't nearby, and pulled up the screenshot of the boarding pass Yen had sent him. "B4?" Jaskier nearly fell off the barstool.

"Geralt," he squeaked, struggling to right himself. "We're on the same flight." Just as soon as he'd regained his composure he lost it again, doubling over with laughter.

"So's Yennefer," he added, and Jaskier shrugged.

"Well, then I'll be sure to pack my trombone." Geralt couldn't stop the snicker that escaped him at the sight of Jaskier's shit-eating grin.

For as much as he might wax poetic about the prospect, Jaskier absolutely despised a white Christmas. Which, just as well, is exactly what they got. He was shivering in just the time it took to flee his Uber and shuffle into the waiting warmth of the airport. Security went blessedly quickly, as it tended to at six in the morning - precisely why he settled on such an early flight. (Nevermind the fact his parents practically demanded it of him.)

He was nursing a venti peppermint mocha latte - light and sweet, with an extra shot of espresso - when Geralt appeared at the edge of the terminal, and he patted his instrument fondly when Yennefer waltzed up behind him.

"Geralt!" He exclaimed, rising from his seat and wrapping his free arm around him. "Yennefer!" She held a hand up as he moved towards her.

"Not so fast. I'm not sure if I like you yet." His face fell briefly, but he laughed anyway.

"Can take the girl out of New York but not the New York–" he began to joke, but Yennefer cut him off with a roll of her eyes.

"Save it. I'm from Connecticut." That finally, properly, seemed to shut him up, and he nestled back into his seat with his coffee. She softened a little. "Where are you going?"

"Me? Just south Jersey," he perked up. Geralt looked like he had something to add, but before he could the gate attendant started boarding calls.

The flight was thankfully brief, if a little turbulent. Geralt spent the journey playing peacekeeper in the middle seat, while Yennefer idly read some news articles she'd saved on her phone, and Jaskier slept soundly against the window, curled around his trombone.

It was midday when they arrived in Newark. Yennefer was teasing Jaskier for managing to pass out despite the massive cup of caffeine and sugar he'd consumed, Jaskier was trying his best to put together a groggy retort, and Geralt decidedly just wanted them to shut up. At least they were all about to part ways, and he could enjoy his next flight in – shit.

"Flights to Vermont are cancelled," Jaskier's words, urgent and harried, snapped him out of his thoughts.

"Fuck," he growled under his breath, eyeing the departure board. Sure enough, in bright red letters, his flight was delayed until further notice, with a little asterisk telling him to download the app to keep up-to-date with any developments.

"I'd offer to let you join me," Yennefer began with a deep sigh. "But you know how my parents feel about you." Geralt ran a hand down his face. Just his luck, wasn't it. So much for cigars with his old man.

"You can come with me." Jaskier's voice was so uncertain, so small, he almost didn't hear it. "My parents haven't had a chance to hate you yet." Geralt groaned.

"Sure. Why not?" He forced a smile across his gruff features, and Jaskier met him with a toothy grin in return.

"Beats this shithole." He glanced around, trying to find his bearings in the busy airport. "Let's grab some lunch before we head out, yeah?" Geralt nodded before turning to Yennefer.

"Joining us?" She shrugged.

"As a wise man once said, 'sure. Why not?'" The wait at McDonald's wasn't terrible, so they shifted eagerly into line, and all but devoured their food the moment it was in their hands.

"Right, so," Jaskier began between mouthfuls of Big Mac. "Northeastern Corridor down to Trenton, and my parents will pick us up there." He peered over his burger at Yennefer.

"Northeastern Corridor to NY Penn," she replied flatly, the straw of her drink stained with deep burgundy lipstick. They tossed their trash and headed off towards the train terminal, and, at the very least, Geralt would only now have to deal with one of them at a time. Except god, it seemed, was laughing at him that Christmas Eve.

"Are you kidding me!" He'd never seen Jaskier so worked up - though, granted, he'd only known him for a month. "NJ Transit's down!?" He flung his arms about dramatically before squatting right in the middle of the station, head in his hands. Yennefer quirked an eyebrow at him.

"Is he… Okay?" Geralt shrugged, fitted a palm on Jaskier's shoulder. He gazed up at him, wide-eyed and pink-cheeked.

"Fine, fine." He pressed his hands against his knees and shifted to his feet. "Now what?"

"We're stuck here," Geralt groaned and heaved a breathy chuckle. "Merry Christmas, huh?"

"Wait…" Yennefer held a finger up, face drawn in thought. "Won't they put you up in a hotel?" Geralt hummed, and ran a finger along the massive, glowing map kiosk, searching for the nearest Delta help center.

They did, in fact, put him up in a hotel, and he did, in fact, agree to let Yennefer and Jaskier tag along. Not before stopping at one of the duty-free shops and snagging as much overpriced liquor as his wallet would allow, of course. Jaskier cast an appraising eye at his haul, shook his head, and wordlessly extracted his trombone from its case. Thank god for all those solos he'd memorized in college.

"What the hell are you–" Yennefer began, but cut herself off when the first dollar bills landed at his feet. "Oh." A few more followed, and then some more, and within a few minutes a crowd had gathered, phones out and pointed at him. He ate up the attention, playing to the crowd for another twenty or so minutes before excusing himself and collecting the cash that had collected at his feet. He bought yet more alcohol, and they departed for the hotel.

It was small and held only the bare essentials - queen bed, TV, bathroom, and the world's smallest fridge. He popped open a bottle of whiskey before he even bothered to kick his shoes off, tilting his head back and taking a deep swig before grabbing the bottle of wine still in the bag and holding it at arm's length for whoever wanted it next.

"Thank god," Yennefer sighed, yanking it from his hand. It was a deep red that matched her lips. Jaskier dumped his bags in the corner and fished out one of his bottles of vodka.

"Cheers," he called, raising the bottle to the air, and Geralt and Yennefer held theirs up as well, clinking the three together. "To Christmas!" They dissolved into laughter, shoes discarded randomly across the floor, limbs splayed across the bed, and alcohol sploshing precariously.

When Geralt cracked his eyes open the next morning, early light was slipping through the blinds, a series of texts from Delta informed him his new flight was set to leave in four hours, and, well. Yennefer was naked in his arms, which he supposed wasn't entirely surprising. He shifted up against the headboard, rubbing sleep from his eyes and gently extricating himself from her unconscious grasp, jarred by the rattling of liquor bottles. His feet were about to finally hit the floor when his heart nearly stopped, and he paused urgently. Yennefer wasn't the only one he'd shared the room with…

"G'morning?" Came a breathy yawn, and soft brown hair poked up from the blankets. Fuck. He planted his feet firmly below him and scanned the room for his scattered clothing. "G'ralt?" Brown hair was followed by scrunched eyes, a half-ajar mouth, and a splotch of pink on his cheek where his hand has been pressed against it in his sleep. Geralt cursed under his breath and plucked up his underwear.

"Did we…?" He half-asked, not daring to finish the question. Jaskier - naked, for the love of god, stalked around the bed to Geralt's side and pressed a kiss on his cheek.

"Yes," he said warmly.

"All of us?" Jaskier nodded and hummed, following suit in tracking the remains of the previous day's outfit. "And… did we… did we like it?" Jaskier laughed, soft and breathy.

"We had a great time, Geralt. Relax." He slid his sweater over his head.

"Right." Finally he spotted his pants, and stepped into them unsteadily. "Suppose we should wake her?" Jaskier shrugged.

"Probably." They roused Yennefer, who also seemed to have a better recollection of the night before than Geralt, and was none too surprised. Breakfast was a brief affair in the hotel lobby, all of them downing cup after cup of shitty black coffee and basking in afterglow. Finally, at long last, they bid their goodbyes and parted ways. Geralt could finally get some peace, quiet, and alone time. On the flight to Vermont, he found himself missing the two anyway.

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