#i really liked writing this so I hope y'all like it too
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Pas de Deux Chapter 13
Din Djarin x f!reader | 4k | fic masterlist | main masterlist | ao3
chapter summary: it's finally the night of the Gala, and it's finally time to perform with Din.
a/n: First, if you didn't see the AMAZING art @kenobiwanx made of ballet!Din, please go look now!!!
Second, a week or so ago @iknowisoundcrazy asked me about a scene I was proud of writing, or something like that, and my answer was really this chapter. I just couldn't say that yet. I hope y'all enjoy it. I can't believe we only have one more chapter! I'm super behind on replying to your amazing comments because I just moved over the weekend, but I will catch up, I promise. Thank you @katareyoudrilling for being the best beta, as always!!
chapter tags/warnings: fluff, dancing, flirting, touching, pet names (sweetheart), hand-holding, intense feelings, kissing, I think we've already covered all of the dance moves in this chapter but I added some links used previously just in case
Chapter 13
At call time, you were feeling much more relaxed and ready for the performance. You successfully avoided the tornado that was Greef Karga backstage (where Alexa and Vince were corralling him) and found one of your usual spots in the dressing room near Adrian. He was already dressed for Jee’s piece in a full-coverage bodysuit with a skin color background and abstract shapes printed on it in blue. You knew his fellow dancers were in similar outfits with different colors, and that the shapes were somehow incorporated into the choreography. Jee was good at things like that.
You quickly put on your bodysuit and your sweats over top. It was a little chilly backstage and you had plenty of time before the show would start.
Adrian leaned against the counter to your right and crossed his arms. “Where’s your other half?”
You pointed upwards – there were a couple of dressing rooms that were more private, and you were pretty sure that’s where Din had been getting ready. “He’ll be down in a bit. You ready?”
He nodded, smiling. “This is a fun one. Jee’s choreography is always weird, but cool.”
You laughed as you finished your stage makeup. “True,” you agreed.
Fifteen minutes later, Din popped his head into the room. He had on a loose t-shirt and sweats, but you figured he had his shorts on underneath. You noticed a few people waved at him and he nodded in response. He caught your eye in the mirror and motioned for you to join him in the hall.
You looked at Adrian. “See you in a bit.”
He smiled and shoved your shoulder lightly. “Get out of here.”
You laughed and joined Din in the doorway. He smiled and led you to the right and around the corner, and you realized where you were going. There was a tiny dressing room with no mirror that no one ever used, except for taking naps – it had a somewhat comfortable loveseat.
As you entered, you realized no one was in there but Din’s bag was on the couch. “Is this where you’ve been getting ready?” The room was so small that the two of you basically filled it.
He nodded, a bit sheepish. “I just drop by the other room to use the mirror.”
You smiled. “If I’d known I’d have come and claimed the couch,” you teased.
He ducked his head and smiled. “You’re always welcome.”
You moved over to the couch and sat down. “So, what’s up?”
Din leaned against the folding table that ran the length of the wall by the door. “Could you help me with the body paint? I think some of it wore off in the back.”
“Sure,” you said, moving to get up, but he waved you back down.
“Not yet. We’ve got a few minutes and it’s too cold to be basically naked in here already.”
You laughed. “True. But we want it to dry, right?”
He sighed. “Alright. Ok, come here.” His hands moved to the hem of his shirt and he tugged it gingerly over his head. You realized he was avoiding the paint. It was dry, though, and looked fine.
“Where’s the problem? The front looks fine.” Your eyes traveled over the swirls on his torso and you smiled, lightly. When you met his eyes he was smirking again.
“Should I take off my pants, too?” His eyes were almost sparkling as he teased you.
You gasped, just for show. “Din! What are you insinuating, hmm?” You stepped up next to him and took a closer look at the paint, looking for any spots that had rubbed off.
As soon as you were close enough, he grabbed your hips and pulled you forward between his open knees on the table. You flailed a bit as you looked for somewhere to rest your hands, eventually settling on his forearms. You didn’t want to mess up the paint, which was mostly on his torso and biceps.
Once you were steady, he leaned forward, far enough that his lips were almost touching your ear. “I saw you check me out, you know. Last week.” His voice was deep, and you shivered again. He pulled back and grinned.
“Din Djarin, you tease.”
He squeezed your hips and shook his head. “It’s not a tease, sweetheart. I checked you out, too.” He cleared his throat and looked down. “Not for the first time.”
You smiled. “Adrian said we were both watching each other in class, all the time.”
Din laughed. “I don’t know how you didn’t see me. It felt like I never looked at anything else.”
You felt your face heat. “Ok. Enough of that. We have a performance,” you poked him in the side and laughed when he tried to dodge, “get your head in the game.” He smiled and squeezed your hips again. “Now let me see your back.”
You moved back as he stood so he could turn in front of you. For a moment you simply looked – your eyes danced over his broad shoulders and then down his spine. You wanted to reach out and touch, to trace the lines of his muscles and curve of his waist with your fingertips. He was so strong.
You shook your head. The paint. You frowned as you looked for any breaks in the paint. “Din, it looks fine. I don’t see any spots where you need a touch up.”
When he turned back to face you, his expression was suspiciously blank. “Oh? Well, maybe I was wrong, then.”
You narrowed your eyes at him. “Din Djarin, did you have ulterior motives when you brought me in here?”
He smirked again and shook his head. “No, you know we’re saving those for later. I just…” he sighed. “I’d rather wait with you than alone.”
You rolled your eyes at him, but smiled. “You could have just said that.”
He shrugged. “There could have been some spots to touch up. You never know.”
You laughed and tugged him over to the couch. He sat sideways so as not to actually rub off any of his paint, and you sank into the corner. “How much time do you think we have?”
“Probably about ten minutes.” The first movement was after Vince’s piece, which opened the show. You needed to be backstage when it started. Then the second movement was between Talia’s and Jee’s, and the third finished the show.
You reached for his hand and laced your fingers together. It wasn’t out of the ordinary to get comfortable touching your pas de deux partner before a performance, but you knew this felt different, for both of you. “Want to go warm up?” He nodded. “Alright. Meet me backstage? I have to go do my pre-show thing with Adrian.”
Din raised an eyebrow, and you realized he’d never seen your “thing”, as you called it. “Or you can come and watch, if you want. We just have a silly handshake and then we hug.”
It turned out that he did want to watch, and he followed you back to your dressing room after stripping off his sweatpants. You allowed yourself to ogle his legs briefly before leading him out of the room. “Do you have any show rituals?”
Din shrugged. “Not really. I usually do the same stretches and warm up.” He thought about it for a moment. “Grogu says I have a lucky shirt. It’s in my bag.”
You laughed. You realized, as you grabbed Adrian and started your ritual handshake, that you felt more at ease, more comfortable than you usually did before a performance.
It must be because of Din, you figured. It was hard to be nervous when you knew he’d be there with you for every step. Adrian hugged you, and you squeezed him until he made an “oof” sound.
“Ok, ok, let me go. Don’t squeeze me to death.” You laughed at his grumbling as Adrian pulled back to check his costume in the mirror. “Go do your thing, I’ll see you backstage later.”
You pulled off your sweats and left them at your spot. You grabbed your pointe shoes and turned to face Din, who was looking at you. Well, he was looking at your legs. You grinned.
“Come on,” you said, grabbing his arm. As you passed him, you murmured, “who’s checking who out now, hmm?”
Din followed you out, and once in the hall, he said, smirking, “I already confessed.”
You made your way backstage together and found a spot where you could warm up in the large area behind the wings. You put on your shoes and began to help each other stretch.
Kuiil found you there a few minutes later, and he smiled down at you both. “Are you ready?”
You both nodded, but Din said, “we are.” His voice was firm and warm and it made you smile.
Kuiil nodded. “Yes, you are. Excellent. I will be in the audience. I wish to see it as I meant others to see it. I will see you soon.” He reached down and rested a hand on each of your shoulders. “Remember. Be in the moment, and be there for each other.”
WIth that, he turned and made his way down the hall and, you presumed, out to the audience. You felt warmed from his clear pride and belief in the two of you together.
As you finished stretching, you heard the audience settle down, and you figured the house lights had just gone down. Your guess was confirmed when you heard Karga’s voice welcoming everyone to the gala.
“Good evening,” he began, and you could picture the wide smile on his face. “Thank you for celebrating our 5th anniversary with us. We are so pleased to have you here.” The crowd applauded, and Karga chuckled. “Yes, thank you. We have a wonderful program planned for you tonight, with pieces that feature the best of what our amazing dancers can do. All of our choreographers – Vince, Talia, Jee, and our visiting choreographer in residence, Kuiil – have prepared new, never before seen pieces for you just for this gala.” The audience applauded again. “We are so grateful for your patronage, and we hope you enjoyed this season. Please, sit back and enjoy the visual feast we have prepared – and don’t forget about the free refreshments during intermission!" That got a light chuckle from the audience. “Thank you.”
The crowd applauded once more, and you assumed Karga was walking off stage. You heard the curtains open and nudged Din. You tilted your head towards the wings, silently asking if he wanted to go watch the quartet. He shook his head and motioned for you to stand with him. He leaned in and murmured, “I’d rather warm up a bit more with you.”
You’d seen the quartet in dress rehearsal, and it really was beautiful. It was funny to think that it had been your original role in this program. You nodded and joined him in some light jumps and lunges, and then spent a few minutes warming up your ankles.
You heard the quartet’s music begin to build towards its crescendo. Before you could turn to head backstage, Din grabbed your arm and reeled you in. He placed his hands at your waist and you let yours rest lightly on his forearms again. He leaned in and rested his forehead lightly against yours.
“You’re going to blow them away,” he murmured, and you felt that familiar feeling that he inspired start to well up in you. “Ready?”
You nodded. “You too, Din. Show them who you are.”
He pulled back and smiled at you. As you turned, you slid your hand down his arm and tangled your hands together. You walked backstage hand-in-hand.
The quartet was just finishing up when you found a place to stand together, out of the way of their exit. You caught Phil’s eye where he stood with his headset on by the tiny backstage lamp, and he nodded at you. You tugged on Din’s hand. “Here we go.”
He nodded at you and released your hand. You would go out first on your own, and then Din, and then you would be on stage together. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath. Just before you stepped forward, you heard Din murmur, “beautiful.”
You stepped into the wings with a smile playing around your mouth. And then the music started, and all you thought about was the dance.
…
You’d never felt like this before. You’d never danced like this before.
From the moment you stepped onto the stage, you could feel it – you were going to nail it. And you did.
You whirled through your solo, and leapt off the stage just in time for Din to enter after you. You watched him and you could see it – he felt it, too. You grinned, and then forced it off your face. He was a stranger, and you were meeting for the first time.
You spun back onto the stage at your cue and you felt his eyes trace across your shoulders like a caress. The two of you danced past each other, circled each other, glanced off of each other, just barely not touching. The connection between you pulled taut and you swore you could see where he was on stage even when you weren’t looking at him.
It would have stolen your breath away, if you had let it – you’d never felt so in sync with another dancer before.
The first movement ended with the two of you touching, briefly, and then dancing away from each other. As you were about to exit into the wings, you looked back, and caught him already looking at you. You both froze, and then darted off stage.
The audience burst into applause. You grinned at the dancers waiting backstage for Talia’s ballet, and they met you with silent cheers and pats on the shoulder as you passed.
You headed straight for the door to the backstage area, looking for Din.
He must have had the same idea, because as you turned into the hall that ran behind the stage, you found him almost jogging towards you, smiling wider than you’d ever seen him.
“You and me,” he said, breathlessly, and you nodded.
…
You had to wait through two longer pieces for the second movement, which would be between Talia and Vince’s collaboration piece and Jee’s. Wary of getting too cold, you returned to Din’s small dressing room, grabbing your sweats on the way. You didn’t want to break the bubble you could feel forming around the two of you.
Din pulled you into the room behind him and then into a loose hug. “I want to hold you tighter,” he murmured, “but this paint.”
You laughed. “It’s probably for the best.” He hummed. “Ok. We can rest for a minute, and then we need to get ready for the second. And go stay warm.” He nodded.
“You were beautiful.” His voice sounded deeper than normal and you shivered in his arms.
“So were you, Din.”
…
There was a barre set up backstage for warming up, and the two of you stayed there as you waited. You watched as the dancers heading backstage moved around you for Talia’s piece and then Talia and Vince’s collaboration, but you and Din stayed in your own little world. That wasn’t unusual, for a piece like yours. You practiced a couple of lifts just to have something to do.
You were ready.
With only a few minutes to go, Din leaned into you again. “Ready?”
You nodded. He grabbed your hand, this time, and led you backstage.
The piece Talia and Vince had collaborated on was almost over – it had three couples, a mix of principals and soloists, and you let yourself watch them for a few moments. When it was almost time, Din tugged you in again, foreheads together.
“Let’s blow them away,” you said, stealing his words from earlier. He smiled.
For the second movement, you started on stage, so you stepped away from Din to go take your place when the lights went down. Alone on stage, in the dark, you took a deep breath. As the music started, you stretched into position, and sank into your character.
You felt Din’s presence when he leapt on stage, and from there, the chase was on.
In the second movement, you circled each other, sometimes coming closer, sometimes moving farther away. Glancing touches brought you together and then hesitation drove you apart. You wanted to know each other, to understand each other, but you had to find a way to communicate. To make yourselves understood.
You began to mirror each other’s movements, to adopt each other’s styles. You found common ground between you to build on and with the first lift so firmly grounded, it felt like you flew into the air. Din held you aloft and then flipped you downwards, catching you in another hold. You spun away and felt him follow you, and the connection between you strengthened.
Just like the first movement, you could barely think, could only feel – and it felt amazing. You knew, distantly, that you and Din were performing at a level neither of you had managed alone. You had created something new, something that could only exist because you made it together.
The second ended with you and Din briefly together, and then your character shied away – you ran from him, twirling off stage without looking back. He reached for you just before the lights went down.
The audience erupted. You were grinning so wide your cheeks hurt. Adrian was backstage, ready for Jee’s piece, and he looked like he wanted to run over and hug you. But just then Din came through the wings behind you and you felt his arms circle your waist.
He didn’t pull you too close (the paint) but he leaned forward to breathe into your ear, “so fucking beautiful.”
You shivered, and Adrian winked at you. You laughed and tugged Din behind you into the hall.
You didn’t have as long of a break this time, only the length of Jee’s piece, which was only about 25 minutes. You knew you didn’t really have time to go far.
As you entered the hall, Din grabbed your hand, and made a sharp right. Just around the corner out of sight he backed you against the wall.
He leaned on the wall with his forearm by your head. For a moment neither of you said anything – you were both breathing hard, chests almost touching every time you took a breath. His eyes caught yours and you couldn’t look away.
“I’ve never…” he trailed off, and you nodded. You understood.
“Me neither,” you breathed, and his eyes darted down to look at your lips. The feeling that had built inside of you during the performance turned into fire.
“Din–” you started, but he cut you off by pressing his lips to yours in a searing kiss. He pulled away almost as quickly.
“I know,” he said, “I know.” He leaned back, and looked at you again. “I never dreamed it could be like this. I think I was meant to dance with you.”
You were glad you were already leaning against the wall, because your knees threatened to give out at his words. “Me too,” you said. His hand came up to cup your cheek lightly, careful of your makeup.
“Come on,” he said, “let’s get ready for the third.”
You nodded and let him lead you back down the hall.
…
You thought you’d be nervous, as you stood in the wings before the third movement. You’d gone backstage a little bit earlier than before to watch Adrian, but it wasn’t distracting you.
But that might have had something to do with Din’s presence at your back and his hand tangled with yours.
You breathed together as you watched and sank back into your characters. In the third, you were almost always touching – almost always chasing or being chased, grabbing or holding on. The movements revolved around your need to be together and create something new together.
As Jee’s piece came to a close, you felt Din step closer. He kept hold of your hand but wrapped his other arm around your shoulders from the back. “One more,” he murmured in your ear. “Let’s show them who we are.” You smiled and nodded. He squeezed your hand.
In the third, you started off stage. In the wings you both took a deep breath, and then the music started. You darted on quickly with Din at your heels, and from there you were off.
He chased you across the stage, and you let him catch you on the other side. You twirled around each other, leaping together, pulling each other along. He supported you through turns and lifts and jumps and you let yourself sink into the music. You internally marveled at how you seemed to be two dancers with one brain – you would reach for him, and he would be there, every time.
When you reached the pique turn, a smile played around your mouth. Din tugged you backwards by your ankle, capturing you and lifting you into a spin. Your body moved through the familiar steps, and when it came time to launch yourself through the air so he could catch you, you fought a grin off your face.
He lifted you over his shoulder, and let yourself appreciate, just for a moment, the strength of the muscles in his back.
Din tilted you back up and let you slide down against his chest. You sank into it with ease, and the two of you let the moment linger. You met his gaze and saw the smile dancing behind his eyes.
From there the choreography built to a crescendo that had you breathing hard, coordinating your movements perfectly to stay in contact – your hand on his leg, his arm around his waist, your arm around his neck, his shoulders supporting you. It pushed you upward and forward until, suddenly, you stopped, facing each other. You breathed as the last note held, staring into each other’s eyes, and then slowly folded into an embrace that took you both to your knees.
The lights went out, and for a moment you couldn’t make sense of the sound that washed over you. You looked up at Din, and then out to the audience. It seemed like everyone in the theater had taken to their feet, cheering and applauding.
The rest of the company was backstage cheering, too.
Din leaned backwards and stood, offering his hand to pull you up, too. You took it, and he tugged you forward so that you had to lean into him just a bit. He looked like he wanted to say something, but then the lights came up.
You both turned to the audience, bodies moving into the familiar stance, ready to take your bows. But you were both taken aback when somehow the applause got louder.
You glanced at Din, but he swept you forward, and before you could stop him, presented you to the audience.
You smiled, and when it was his turn, did the same for him.
As soon as you were done, the rest of the company poured out of the wings to join you on stage, and the standing ovation seemed to go on forever. Adrian popped out of the crowd at your side and wrapped you both up in a hug, which startled Din and made you laugh. “That was fucking amazing!” he shouted in your ear, and you laughed. Din started to smile, too, and you squeezed his hand, still tangled with yours between you.
You looked at him as the company moved to take a final bow together, and for a moment, you couldn’t hear the noise around you at all.
You could only see Din, smiling at you, so widely his eyes crinkled.
Beautiful.
...
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a/n: they did it!! I'm so proud of them!!! next week... what happens after the gala? 😏 we finally earn those smut tags, lol. I don't really have any notes this week, but let me know if you have any questions! 🧡 and don't forget to check out the art!!
#din djarin x reader#din djarin x f!reader#din djarin x you#din djarin fanfiction#the mandalorian#x reader#nbt fic#pas de deux fic#pedro pascal character fanfiction
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So, My Mom Got Fired.
Yesterday I got the news that my mom was fired from her job at Wal-Mart due to too many absences (she's had multiple bouts of flu the past few months along with stints of time without her meds that she relies on to function (like her painkillers, mood stabilizer, anti-depressant, etc)
One of my siblings is hoping to get a job with their interview being Monday, but even if they do get it it won't compare to the income my mom was bringing in with Wal-Mart.
Also, Wal-Mart is notoriously shitty when it comes to unemployment claims, making them near impossible to pay out for unemployment even with legitimate claims.
So, I reiterate that we need all the help we can get. I'm starting to gather trash in our old horse trailer because we don't have the funds to get a dumpster rn, and we're struggling to pay bills.
If you have the means, please give even $5 and share this post. My family can't stay here in our current house for even another year, it's that bad.
If you miss the shit I used to do (drawing, writing, etc.) then know that once I have a safe stable home I will be able to devote more time to doing the things I love and sharing that with all of y'all. That is the only incentive I can really offer besides just the fact that you're helping a struggling family live a normal, safe life.
HELP NEEDED TO SECURE SAFE HOUSING
My name is Ross, I'm a 24 year old artist and writer (though barely) here on Tumblr since 2014. I've spent most of time here within Bioware fandoms and have met a lot of good people both within those spaces and outside of them.
I've asked for financial help in the past for things such as bills and food for me and my family, but now I'm asking more than I ever have before. I'm asking for help in securing a safe house for me and my family to live in, replacing our 30+ year old, rotting mobile home that has served as our childhood home.
Since my dad died in 2021, it has been very hard for all of us to adjust to both the grief and the mountain of responsibilities that he previously tackled alone as the sole breadwinner. These past 3 years have been a struggle to keep bills paid and keep ourselves and our pets fed. The struggle is made so much worse with your only shelter disintegrating around you.
I've listed the financial details in the GoFundMe, but generally we need extra help in regards to prep work for replacing the house and expenses after the move (including extra payment, furniture, living expenses, etc.)
It would mean the world for me if we received the help we need to make this happen, genuinely I would be forever grateful to anyone who is able to contribute. I love my family so much and I only want what's best for us, what everyone human being deserves. I know that because of current housing costs we will be living together for the foreseeable future and I sure as shit don't have plans to buy or rent my own place anymore. This will be our home, our safest place, where I will raise my kids most likely. We so desperately need this that I can't stand to think about it not happening.
So, please, if you have the means, please consider donating even $5 to help us achieve this dream, this dream that we all thought impossible until now. Again, for every contribution, you will have my and my family's gratitude, forever.
Thank you 💖💖💖💖
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I SWEAR CELEBI'S THINGY IS COMING SOON BUT I REALLY WANTED TO POST THIS ALRIGHT
yeaah... future trio got me too...
and Darkrai is there too, because of course he is.
hey look i drew a cute Drifloon :D
...ignore the rest
whatever started at Darkrai doodles ended in brainrot of future trio + darkrai and I'm blaming @scribz-ag24 for this
#Can you believe between the first pic and the 4th pic is only a week inbetween. I sure can't but like why did I mirror the pose...#ON ACCIDENT??? Everytime I look at the two Grovyles I'm like... how... how did they end up so differently???#also probably blaming @cozybells as well for this but I really fear tagging people so I'm just letting y'all know in the tags because#I do wanna let everyone know who inspired me when someone did <333 better get running [you know who you are!!!!] DusnoirXDarkrai is next...#also: upon seeing scribz-ag24's art my brain said: You need to color too! ah yeah that went well with the doodle batch#I really hope you're able to read everything with how messy I can write sometimes. If not please let me know and I'll add sth in this post!#Also the doodle batch was the first thing I drew so well... never drew dusknoir before and grovyle once i think...#please go easy on me I have yet to explore the relationship between literally everyone😭 and I have no idea what I‘m doing and I'm a little#lost I normally only draw King Boo or Darkrai but I'm sure scribz-ag24 sprinkling in bits of Darkrai got me in love with the future trio to#grovyle#future trio#celebi#darkrai#dusknoir#pmd hero#pokemon#drifloon#totodile#my art#my stuff#tagas friend spoiler#pmd#pokemon mystery dungeon#IS THERE A SHIP NAME FOR FUTURE TRIO... there must be. ...oh... is it just...#futuretrioshipping#i feel sooo stupid rn.#also everytime i drew darkrai i had evil spiteful bastard in mind (except for the one with an arrow pointing out he's redeemed) but i think#i literally mixed every possible version of him in my head so got absolutely no clue what i'm doing :D#anyways i hope you enjoyed this and thanks for reading through my ramblings! Have such a wonderful rest of the day yippiee <333#pmd2
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Too Hard
Woop part 2 of the trip inside Jamil's head. Part 1 here.
The next time Jamil caught sight of you on campus, his first instinct was to turn around on his heel.
What a stupid thought to have because of you.
Besides, that would only make him more conspicuous, not less.
So, when your eyes met his, Jamil gave you a short nod in greeting. He would’ve left it at that and kept on his way, had you not walked up to him.
“Hi Jamil! How’s it going?” you said with that impossibly disarming smile of yours.
Why was it so difficult to look at you like he normally would? You had no right to make him feel so stiff, so unnatural.
On autopilot, Jamil exchanged a few pleasantries with you - those lessons from his parents had been instilled too deep in him for him to falter too badly in a simple exchange such as this. Still, Jamil quickly excused himself by telling you he still had to find Kalim before his next class.
Jamil didn’t miss the way your smile faltered. Had you hoped to get something out of him?
“Oh, okay. I’ll see you two later, then.”
Something about that irked him, though Jamil did not allow himself to dwell on it further.
His heart really had no business still racing as it did when he walked away, unaware of the frown on his face.
Just act normal. That’s all he needed to do.
After all, he had no time for dwelling in silly fancies.
If Jamil had been acutely aware of you before, it only seemed to worsen now that he was making a conscious effort to not act any differently with you. In fact, the harder he tried to keep you out, the more you invaded his thoughts, unsettling him.
The most innocuous words from you looped in his mind, and even the simplest actions caught his eye. For goodness's sake, he’d found himself staring at you while you were queueing up in the cafeteria the other day, not even doing anything other than standing around and looking bored!
For once, Jamil found himself grateful for all his duties. At least they provided him with something else to occupy himself with.
After all, if he was busy enough, it was difficult to think about those bright eyes of yours, your sweet laugh, or the way you bit your lip while thinking.
Still, sometimes it felt like no matter which way he turned, you were there, ready to throw him off-kilter. Not like it was his fault that often the most convenient route to class intersected with your daily routines. Or that your face seemed to jump out from any crowd, catching his attention.
Which certainly did not help his basketball performance. Jamil certainly did not recall you having such an interest in sports before, yet suddenly you were always there, distracting him. What had changed?
Could you possibly-
Jamil scoffed to himself, forcing his thoughts back on track for the nth time that day.
He picked up the tray of food and started taking it to Kalim. After dinner, he’d need to help Kalim with his homework, there were some housewarden tasks that would need dealing with, not to mention the preparations for the next-
Jamil froze in his tracks.
The voice he heard was quiet, but it was unmistakably you.
Really, it should not have come as such a surprise to him. You had become a rather frequent visitor to Scarabia, and Kalim often invited you to stay for meals. In fact, Jamil had started planning the dorm’s meal prep with your tastes and dietary restrictions in mind, just in case.
Jamil rounded the corner with strange exhilaration, his heart fluttering needlessly.
Yet, his mood evaporated when he saw you.
Why did you stop talking and look so guilty as soon as you caught sight of Jamil?
Jamil knew that look you gave to Kalim, had used it himself a thousand times. The one telling Kalim to keep quiet about something.
What could there possibly be that you would be comfortable sharing with Kalim, but not with him? That would give Kalim reason to sit so close to you, a comforting hand on your shoulder?
Jamil's mind raced with possibilities, yet could not settle for any single explanation.
He’d have to ask Kalim about it later.
Jamil gave you a short, polite greeting, his eyes lingering on you in an attempt to read what you were hiding.
“If I’d known you were coming over, I would’ve prepared something for you to eat as well,” Jamil said, already thinking about which parts of the dorm’s dinner to spruce up for you.
“Oh, no need, just figured I’d pop by. I’ll get out of your hair soon enough,” you said, something sheepish about your expression.
As expected, Kalim asked you to stay and dine with them, and with just a bit more persuasion you agreed - though not before telling Jamil that he should join you too and have himself a breather.
And since Kalim agreed with you, Jamil soon found himself sharing a meal with you and Kalim. Yet, even as he sat down with the food, his mind raced.
Had you been getting particularly close to Kalim lately? But surely Jamil would’ve noticed such a thing. Maybe someone from the dorm had been giving you trouble? But if that was the case, then surely you could let Jamil know about it, too. Unless for some reason you did not want to? But if it was something that concerned Kalim, then sooner or later it was bound to concern Jamil, too.
All the while, Kalim was talking to you about this and that, the latest topic being the animals kept on the Asim estate.
“I’ve got some pictures, let me show you!” Kalim said with an excited grin.
Only, a thorough patting of his pockets and a look around confirmed that Kalim’s phone was nowhere to be seen.
Jamil pinched the bridge of his nose. Where had Kalim left it this time?
Before Jamil even had the chance to say that he would handle it, Kalim sprinted off. Jamil hesitated for a moment, automatically halfway up from his seat, before he decided that leaving a guest unattended would be a worse offense than not helping out his master.
Jamil slumped back down with a sigh, mentally tracing the path Kalim took today, trying to recall the last time he saw Kalim handle his phone.
“Breathe. He’ll manage,” you said. There was the faintest of smiles on your lips, and Jamil could not decide if it was knowing or amused. Perhaps both.
Somehow, despite his frustration, Jamil’s own lips wanted to curl up too.
“Hmm. Maybe he will.”
Sure, Jamil could’ve called Kalim’s phone, to make it easier to find, but it was not that urgent, was it?
Jamil took another bite of his food, keeping an eye on you from the corner of his eye.
How was his mind so empty and so buzzing at the same time?
“You know-”
“So-”
You looked at each other, both just as surprised that the other had spoken up at the same time.
Even your surprised look was so-
“You first,” Jamil said. The way you bit your lip... Jamil had to raise a cup to his lips, slowly sipping his drink.
“Just… Feels like it’s been quite a while since I’ve seen you be still, you know. Or exchanged more than two words with you,” you said. You were attempting a light, joking tone, yet it was quite clear there was more to it.
“You say that like it would be unusual for me to be busy.”
He was not prepared for the way your soft sigh tugged at his heartstrings.
“No. It is not.”
You were both quiet after, poking at your meals. Normally, Jamil would’ve cherished such a moment of peace, yet this particular silence between you two was decidedly awkward.
Where was your usual chatter? Why weren’t you looking at him like you usually did?
“If you’re worried about me, don’t. I’m fine,” Jamil said, some softness creeping into his tone despite his best intentions.
“That's what Kalim said too,” you said. Yet the way you looked at Jamil made it clear you were still skeptical.
Wait.
Had you clammed up earlier because it had been Jamil you had been talking about with Kalim? That Kalim had comforted you about?
The thought twisted his stomach into knots.
Eta: you can find part 3 here, part 4 here, and finally part 5 here. Hasdhfsdf the way I fought with that last scene I swear. I don't even want to know how many versions I went through, trying to figure out how to say what I wanted without rubbing it into your face or making it too veiled. The joys of trying to convey things through a limited pov. Hopefully it came out reasonably balanced in the end. Rip to all those sentences that were lovely on their own but didn’t work for the whole. Hopefully I can rehome y’all one day. I do have thoughts for part 3 and part x (might be some chapters between those two as well, who knows at this point), so maybe we'll see those at some point, too. Tag list: @colliope @crystallizsch @diodellet @jamilsimpno69 @jamilvapologist @twstgo If you'd like to be tagged for future works, let me know! (Just be aware that sometimes I do also write nsfw, though you can certainly ask to be tagged only for particular kinds of works.)
#twisted wonderland#jamil viper#twisted wonderland x reader#jamil viper x reader#ner writes#jamil definitely knows how to deal with his feels#also writing this is making me wonder how aware jamil is of his inner versus outer life#like he’s very aware of how he comes across because that’s what he’s been told to watch out for#but how well has he truly learned to understand himself and his own feelings wants etc?#(I mean as you can tell I’m assuming not very well)#originally this went to more of a “jamil hears just the wrong part of the conversation” route but#a) I kinda hate that trope especially when it’s dragged on beyond belief and#b) Kalim maybe doesn’t want to spill anyone’s secrets but he really is such an open book especially with Jamil so#also it’s not like jamil needs the extra help to catastrophize he already does that well enough on his own 🙃#tho then I went a little too far in the other direction and had to pull back#but let's just hope I didn't edit this to death by now#also also: since I seem to have a bit of a naming theme going on for this series#if I were to be the sort to go for the angst route what part would definitely be titled Too Late or something along those lines#also x3 but loved folks commenting on that part about reader being inoffensive in the first part#I certainly had fun writing that line#(and in general extra love to everyone who leaves comments on tags replies wherever always great to read those)#(and in general chat with y'all)
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finished dhes & kel's character pages so here are the lil edits i made for both of em :-)
#myedits#kelly#dhestyn#ik i posted kel’s already but now i am posting both pictures together#i have read through the bios so many times atp that i don't even know if they make sense anymore#i cannot look at them again#i'm just gonna say they're good enough#i might change some stuff here & there but for now#i am over it lol#i'll probably do the rest of the characters eventually..........#maybe...........#but idk. i only really post the boys here so like. yea. yk.#plus i still have the mbz character page to do#which. that has like. so many characters on it. it's a daunting task#i hope the boys' pages are at least somewhat coherent. i tried to be concise & to the point. uh. idk if i was successful in that#but. n e way. i have a few edits & writing things i wanna work on so. character pages are moving to the back burner#i may or may not finally start writing the 90sAU#which btw ty guys for being so nice on that edit???? the comments & tags were all so sweet?????#i really liked that one so i'm glad y'all liked it too
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el tejano - habbey oneshot
(this is inspired by the song el tejano by lauv and sofia reyes. you don't really need to know the song/lyrics to read it, but it would probably give context for certain details)
The grating sound of a creaky window being opened filled the dorm room, replacing the sound of Deuce aggressively typing up an essay that was due later that week. He didn’t look up, as he knew it was his closest companion, sneaking through the window. Was there even a curfew on weekends? No, but what Heath didn’t know wouldn’t hurt.
Heath climbed into the room and threw himself down on his roommate’s bed, sighing dramatically. Deuce kept his eyes on his laptop and paid him no mind. Heath sat up and sighed even louder, which sounded more like a strangled scream.
Deuce chuckled to himself and rolled his desk chair towards the bed. He reached out to stop the chair from hitting the footboard and smiled at his best friend.
“Well, someone sure wants my attention,” Deuce said smugly.
“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Ask me how my day was!” Heath kicked off his shoes and brought his legs up to sit cross-legged.
“And you can’t just tell me, because…?”
“Because…suspense,” Deuce rolled his eyes, “and because no one else asked how my day was going the entire time I was out,” Heath said with a slight pout.
“Fine,” Deuce turned around to sit backward in his chair and crossed his arms over the back, “How was your day, Heath?”
Heath flailed his hands in excitement, “Great question!” Deuce held back a laugh, “I went to the park, made friends with some zombie dogs, and saw a flyer for this new nightclub place for teens. I went because, duh, and it was decorated to have this beachy vibe and I love the beach.”
Deuce nodded along, “Mhm…”
“And I stayed there for the rest of the night. but, there’s more!” Heath clapped his hands together.
“How can there be more if you stayed there all night?”
“I met a girl! I, Heath Burns, met a girl!”
“Huh, good for you, man,” Deuce pushed himself off the bed and attempted to keep writing his paper.
“Wait, wait, I gotta tell you all about it,” Heath climbed off the bed and headed towards his side of the room, just barely saving himself from tripping over his sneakers.
“Fine, but I gotta finish this,” Deuce gestured to his open document, “I promise I’m listening, go ahead.”
Heath plopped down into his own desk chair, “So you know Nirvana right? That human band?” Deuce hummed and nodded. “Apparently, there are Spanish covers of their songs, which is a sentence I never thought I’d say, but they were, like, the majority of the playlist.”
Deuce furrowed his eyebrows and looked at Heath, “Nirvana of all bands has multiple covers in Spanish?”
“Yuh, and me and the girl just danced to them and talked all night. What did we talk about?” Heath didn’t wait for Deuce to answer, “Great question”.
Deuce chuckled to himself as he finished a paragraph.
“I learned a lot about her, like, she’s from the Himalayas, and she actually knows some of the same people we do. She knows Cleo and Lagoona and even Clawdeen, isn’t that so interesting?” Deuce nodded absentmindedly. “She even asked me if I watched that human show, um…” Heath searched his brain for the title, “Friends! That’s it!”
“Oh, that show about the six friends in the coffee shop or whatever?” Deuce leaned back in his chair looking over his last couple of paragraphs.
“Yeah! I told her that Phoebe was probably my favorite character so far.”
“The blonde one?” Deuce asked.
“Mhm, and she actually agreed with me and we laughed and laughed.”
“How did you of all people, no offense, get a girl to talk to you and dance with you? For such a long period of time?” Deuce started a new paragraph and slightly laughed at the idea of Heath fumbling over his words trying to ask a girl to dance.
“Well actually, you jerk, she came up to me. I had just ordered some salsa for my chips, I had chips, I didn’t think it was important to mention, and she walked up to me. She asked if she could sit with me and try some of my food.”
“And you let her, because only you would share your food with an absolute stranger,” Deuce said, saying the last part under his breath.
“I heard that, and yes, I did. She sat down and asked me if the salsa was mild. I stupidly said that it was hotter than mild because I thought it would impress her but turns out she has problems with hot food. Deuce, I almost scared her away!”
Deuce couldn’t keep his laughs quiet anymore and let a loud guffaw leave his mouth, “See, this is why I didn’t believe that you were able to keep her interested enough to dance with you.”
“Rude, but I quickly took it back and said it was a joke. She stayed, thank gods, and then one of the Nirvana covers came on, she pulled me to the dance floor, I, of course, had to keep my fire under control, and the rest is the greatest love story to ever take place.”
“Sounds like an amazing night, Heath. What was her name?” Deuce finished up his final paragraph and hit save. Should he have proofread it? Sure, but he might as well give the end of Heath’s story his full attention.
“Yeah...about that, once the club got closer to closing time, she left pretty quickly, and I never…actually caught her name…”
Deuce stopped moving. He did not hear that right, he couldn't have, “You don't,” Deuce closed his eyes in preparation for disappointment, “know her name?”
“No, I do not,” Deuce could practically hear the sheepish look Heath had on his face as he spoke.
Deuce did a sharp inhale and pinched the bridge of his nose, “I mean this in the nicest way possible, dude, you're hopeless.”
“Yeah, I know. But what matters is that she seemed to be having fun and I know I had fun,” Heath got out of his chair and started to change into his pajamas. “That’s a win in my book.”
“A win is a win,” Deuce reluctantly said.
Heath finished getting dressed and sprawled out on his bed, “I wonder if she’s thinking about me right now.”
“Maybe, Heath, maybe.”
In a dorm room, on the other side of the school was a blue-skinned girl and her friends gathered in a circle. Giggles left the friends’ mouths as the girl spoke.
“He assured me that the salsa wasn’t actually that hot and so I tried it, it was really good, and we just hit it off right away,” it was hard for Abbey to keep her excitement in check as she recounted the story of the boy she had met that night.
“And then what happened?” Lagoona chirped.
“Then the music changed and I dragged him to the dance floor,” Abbey took a second to chuckle to herself, “He was such a bad dancer,” another chuckle fell from her lips.
“Oh, I’m so sorry,” Ghoulia reached a hand to Abbey’s knee in comfort.
“No, no, it was endearing. I loved how bad he was at dancing because he knew he was bad but he was so confident about it. It made me laugh.”
Ghoulia hummed and took her hand away.
“Ya know, orange skin, red hair, I think I know the guy you’re talking about,” Cleo, who had been trying to act like she didn’t think Abbey’s story was absolutely adorable, finally chimed in to the conversation, “What was his name again?”
“Oh, I never actually asked for it. I didn’t tell him mine either. Guess that wasn’t my smartest move,” Abbey said, giggling to herself.
“You utter fool,” Cleo reprimanded her but couldn’t stay mad at her very happy friend.
“Yeah, I know. But I had so much fun, guys, and I think he did too. I swear I saw his hair become fire for a second when we were dancing.”
Cleo definitely knew who the guy was by now but she held her words. Why ruin the moment by letting everyone know that Abbey was dancing with Cleo’s ex’s best friend? Besides, it was bound to be funny when the two would inevitably run into each other when classes started in a couple days.
#i translated sofia reye's part and was like semi-upset that it didn't really line up with what i had already written#but i persevered#just like most of my monster high posts this is based on the live action version of the characters#but i think that g1 habbey fans could probably still enjoy this#totally meant to have this up a lot earlier but the person that i wanted an opinion from never got back to me#and i wasn't confident in my proofreading and just overall reviewing skills (got my sister to read it 30 minutes ago)#also by “based off” i mean it's very loosely inspired since at the end of the day the characters are teenagers#and i didn't want to age them up#really wanted write more but didn't know what exactly to write so i decided to do a song inspired fic kinda thing#which did help with the writer's block so YAY#also lie i said this was originally clawdeuce but i made deuce way too heath-coded and heath too deuce-coded so i just switched them#luckily i changed it pretty early on in the writing process#HOPE Y'ALL LIKE IT#monster high#monster high the movie#monster high live action#monster high 2#habbey#heath burns#abbey bominable#heath x abbey#abbey x heath#deuce gorgon#ghoulia yelps#cleo de nile#lagoon blue#monster high fanfic#monster high fic#oneshot
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Ugh i left another lengthy reply under a comment about the assassin's creed shadows announce on youtube. I swear this shit is getting me mad.
#Damn i know a lot of people are racist BUT HOLY SHIT.#Imagine being forced to defend a choice ubisoft made because people are insane and they just hate black men that much#WHAT IF HE WAS NOT REALLY A SAMURAI#BITCH CESARE BORGIA AND CHARLES LEE WEREN'T TEMPLARS AND MACHIAVELLI WASNT AN ASSASSIN#It's not like japanese people THEMSELVES didnt produce medias about Yasuke as a samurai ....#gnagnagna ''but if the game is in japan i want to play an ethnic japanese man'' FFS THERE IS A PLAYABLE ''ETHNIC'' JAPANESE CHARACTER#But she's a woman and Y'all hate women too#Damn i hope they're forced to play a woman in a video game SO MUCH that their balls fucking resorb#I spend an entire hour writing that comment on ytb#i need to touch some grass#And eat an indecent amount of pasta#ac shadows#personal
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Everyone's talking about Wish right now.... The only thing I can say about WISH.......let's hope it's like a Frozen 1 type thing. Where the trailers were ABSOLUTE ASS but then the film turned out really good. TT0TT
I mean.....there is a difference between the two. While the west got weird trailers that didn't matter for Frozen (Olaf vs Sven carrot thing), JPN and other countries got trailers that actually showcased the plot and drama in an interesting way.... And Wish.....well...... Wish at least gives us a villain and a part of an argument.....and I can't see that argument leading anywhere.....great tbh. So maybe not the best comparisons but let's hope for the Frozen 1 vibe!
Anyway I'm not liking what I'm seeing so far, but I'm hoping its better than the ass disaster Frozen 2 and Ralph 2 were. ;w;
#silly talks#disney#WISH#frozen#as frozen's first fan and the one that didn't care the trailers were ass......my heart goes out to Wish fans rn kldjsafkljsaf#'silly that's pretty bold of you to consider yourself THE FIRST frozen fan-" i drove that damn bandwagon y'all just jumped on later#no really around 2009-2010 i remember looking at the Snow Queen disney page wikipedia page to see if it finally got taken off of hiatus she#*off the hiatus shelf#i remember the damn day the announced Dinsey would take a crack a the Snow Queen adaptation again#then when they announced Kristen Bell for a character (super estatic cause i wanted to hear her singing even more after watching Veronica m#*after watching veronica mars)#The Snow Queen has been a fav fairy tale of mine since i was a baby so yeah I was excited to say the least TT0TT#and yeah 5 seconds into the movie (the day it released mind you! yes I was there I remember how dead the theater was) i was like 'I love it#I ended the movie and wanted to go back in too i loved it that much#safe to say I was BLOWN AWAY by how much OTHERS loved it esp after everyone was bitching abt it leading up to that film TT0TT#anyway love frozen 1 it's my fav#hate frozen 2 it's hot garbage I never felt more lied to by trailers than this movie holy shit#i'm like 8 rants away from writing a complete dissertation on how Frozen 2 completely misunderstood Frozen 1 in it's entirety#(note: I dont think F1 is perfect nor do I think it's a masterpiece I just happen to love it a lot uwu)#anyway I hope wish has a similar thing (sleeper hit release part....not a shitty sequel part)
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The Fear of Being Alone by ChipTheKeeper
Summary: A story of five times Vel didn't leave Cinta alone, and one time Cinta returned the favor.
****
It's Day 30 of Velcinta Sapphic September, which means this story is now complete. The prompt of "forever" is a perfect way to end it.
Thanks to everyone who has read, kudos-ed, and commented so far. I love you all. A special thanks also to @rebelandrichgirl for the feedback. And of course a huge thanks to the @dailyvelcinta mods for organizing another event for these two criminally-underrated characters <3
Let me know what you all think!
#not super thrilled with the above edit#why does every canva font look like an annoying straight girl's handwriting?#this is what i get for being too lazy to pirate photoshop#anyway this might be my last fic for them for a while so i really hope y'all enjoy it#velcinta#vel sartha#cinta kaz#andor#my writing#velcintaseptember
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lmao did u see someone’s doing an atyd James perspective
cool hope they're having fun
#ask#not...entirely sure what i'm supposed to be getting from the tone of this message tbh#but like. y'all know i was not the first person to write an atyd s pov right....#like this is not some idea that belongs 2 me lmao i truly don't care if other people r out there writing other povs etc#i had a lot of fun doing it so i hope anyone else doing it has fun too + that's really my only thoughts on that!#also would not care if someone wanted 2 write their own s pov. like there's no rule saying mine has 2 be the only one in existence lol#atydsp
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it's like a fire, a stranglehold
When he didn’t answer, Oka sighed. From the corner of his eye, Reki saw Oka drag a stool over to his work space. Great. He propped an elbow on the table, putting his chin in his hand (his stupid, tapping, rubbing, shaking hand) then looked away. His other hand bounced in his lap. “Reki,” Oka spoke again. There was a familiar edge to his voice, the kind of edge Reki heard every time Oka tried talking about feelings, ugh. “What’s up?”
“Nothing,” he grumbled, a slew of cooing following the word. He sounded so stupid. His fingernails gripped his thigh, pinching angrily.
It hurt like hell.
He couldn’t stop.
[or, reki's hands hurt so much & oka helps him out]
🛹2,737 words | reki & oka���
happy last day of ts awareness month!
#corey writes:)#sk8#kyan reki#oka shokichi#reki with tourette's#tourette's syndrome#oka shokichi has chronic pain#sk8 fanfic#sk8 reki#sk8 oka#i am SO SO SO happy i managed to write this!!! i honestly didn't think i would!#i actually really like how it turned out too??? which i never really say in the tags right after i post it haha#anyways i think it's so funny that i did fouir ts fics last year and four this year and i haven't repeated a single fandom lol#anywho shall just post this so i can make dinner lol#hope y'all are doing well!!!#imma spam all my ts month fics later tonight <3
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Hey, so, if you wanna see more than just Frenrey from me, you could always like. send me prompts or something.
Can't promise I'll do them but I have no brain and no ideas aside from a few exceptions, one of them being frenrey.
or if it's bothering you that much you could always just... block the tag?
thanks.
#hey btw i fucking love boomer and honestly i think i like them MORE than frenrey- i just never have any ideas in my head for them#i'm more neutral towards sodashipping but i love them too and would be more than willing to do stuff for them#hell bring some polycules into this let's fucking go#or if you have non-ship ideas TELL ME I WANT THOSE SO MUCH BUT MY BRAIN DOESNT WORK /gen /lh#i was writing a big fic about bubby but then my motivation died. i hope i can pick that one back up soon#dimond speaks#frenrey#hlvrai boomer#sodashipping#i'm actually really pissed about something but y'all dont need to know the specifics unless someone comes for me about this#hlvrai
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Honestly would love to try writing again but I don't think I would post it anywhere.
#i actually think its because of my mutuals putting out banger fics lately i've been kinda getting the itch to try it myself#i actually wrote two small pieces on here ages ago (if you remember them you the real mvp) and they were like. fine ig#but idk i wanna try it again#if i did post it would be on tumblr only tbh#i have a very specific scenario for captain au i want to write out#captain au's ultimate goal is a comic but comics take too much time and energy and i don't have a lot of energy atm#but there's a scene in hatanaka's palace that i want to write out really badly#especially after playing royal again recently#it would be the scene where the thieves encounter hatanaka's cognition of riku#i think cognitive selves are a little underutilized in the game post the second palace so i kinda wanted to go a little crazy with it#but we'll see lol i have very little experience writing so idk how confident i'd be in posting it#idk why im making this post even lol ig i just feel like talking#this blog is in a sense my diary lmao#hope y'all are having a nice day anyway. its cold here.
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the amount I've been hoarding away some of the memes I've seen on the dash over the last week or so is so not okay for someone with as many drafts as me ashfjdh
#me: i want to focus on getting through all my drafts when i get some energy back#also me: but good & juicy memes........#I'm thinking I'm gonna lean more into doing whatever the hell pleases me once I get back to writing tbh#but I'm almost definitely throwing all the drafts into a paused queue that I won't start posting until they're all finished#will I reblog a meme or two to play with as I do that? probably. almost definitely.#fresh stuff always helps get my brain going again ahdjgsg#but know that drafts will be happening!!!! I did delete some stuff but like. not enough lmfao. I have too many great threads#that I can't bear to let go of and i've kinda accepted that at this point#sorry I'm so slow y'all pls know that me taking forever to get to shit has nothing to do with how much I'm enjoying our threads#the fact that I'm clinging to them despite wanting to start completely fresh & dump everything says a lot more about how much I love em all#anyway. may or may not write tonight? I'm going with the flow tonight & rn the flow is telling me to keep reading#I finished my reread of the second book in the millennium series last night (& stayed up way too late in order to do so ahdgksg)#& I've started my reread of the third today and I just. I can't stop. it's too good.#if I find the willpower to put it down at some point I might dabble in poking at smth but. if not perhaps tomorrow uvu#(also want to note I've been marking the books through my reread with pink page flags#whenever smth really smacks me in the face with how much byan was inspired in some way by lisbeth lmfao)#ANYWAY. love u guys!!! I'm lurking & hoping you're all doing well!!! 💜💜#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don’t @ me.
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Spite.
People that can only enjoy things through spite really baffle me.
For a while, I was following someone that ran a fanblog for something that I liked, but alongside reblogging fan art, every other original post they made was about how they would hate X, and that Y was better.
X and Y were any number of things relating to the subject of the blog, and the specifics of what they were aren't relevant to the discussion.
It wasn't that their criticisms were unfounded. They sometimes had legitimate gripes with a work, and I even agreed occasionally with some of the things they said. What bothered me is that conversely, they rarely talked about the things they did like unless it was in relation to the thing they didn't like.
It was never, "I like Y because ABC, and y'all should check it out too!" it was always, "X is horrible and bad, so I'm gonna consume Y instead!" or "At least Y is better than that trash X!"
It was just very tiring. I don't know what made them like that, but there was always a bitterness to their posts that always made me uncomfortable, especially in relation to what the blog was about. I would think a person running a blog like that would be more forward about positivity and love, but the impression I got was that they were purely motivated by spite.
But I tolerated it for a while because I liked seeing the reblogged posts and "X" was rarely something I was personally invested in. It was only recently that the "X" was actually something that I cared about that I finally decided to unfollow them. For the second time. I'd actually gotten sick and tired of this behavior long ago, but I decided to give them another shot, which they blew yet again.
I dunno. I know some people enjoy when others "spill the tea" or whatever (it seems like several of their followers enabled their behavior), and I'm not beyond hearing criticisms of a thing I like (I'm usually the first to make them). But I think I get the most enjoyment from people who also share the things they love because they love the thing, not because they hate something else.
It doesn't have to be an unconditional love, it just has to be earnest. I say all the time that being critical of the things you love is basically an essential part of truly appreciating anything in this world. But beyond the spite and criticism, I want to know that the person has something that they truly adore without it being tied to primarily negative feelings.
I just never got that from this person. There was never a post where they could gush about something without bringing something else down with it. I never sensed an earnest love from them.
But, maybe some people are just like that. Maybe their joy stems from venting their frustrations, and I can understand that. But their joy, is not my joy, and I just have a limit to how much spite I can take from one person before I just can't have them in my purview anymore.
#gbunny writes#i really hope that this was just the persona that person had for that blog#i really hope that in private or amongst friends#that they can have fun and light conversations about the things they like without being such a sourpuss about something else#because i can't even fathom living so bitterly: to have the things you hate take priority over the things you love#i just want to say for the record for anyone who is somehow able to sus out who i'm talking about:#i didn't *just* unfollow them because they said something i liked was bad.#i had other problems with this person but that's irrelevant to this discussion. this isn't a callout post and they're not deserving of one.#i'm just processing some thoughts i had when i finally decided to unfollow them.#i know that i'm critical about a lot of things (usually of the things i love)#but i hope i haven't come across as bitter about any of it#at the very least i hope that the love of have of things i do like is more prevalent#that when i'm joyous or happy about something#that y'all can feel it too
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hope you're all liking the epilogue and that you enjoyed the whole series in general. thank you for giving it so much love and support. can't wait to share more 🤍
#i'll be completely honest#you guys n the love you give are the reason why i'm still here#bc there are days and weeks when i.... don'tenjoytumblranymore#it's not bc of interaction or anything bc my god you guys talk to me so much ily :(#but tumblr has changed... the bts fandom has changed. the dash is literally EMPTY#it feels so different from when i joined back early 2021... everyone was so happy and loud back then#and so enthusiastic about writing too... like i still fkn love writing all i write#but the level of excitement about writing has changed.. it's why i try to take it slower these days#my god i used to have a schedule lmao could never today 💀#but yeah idk... sometimes im like... this isn't fun anymore and maybe it's time to give up#but that's exactly when y'all come thru and say something SUPER SWEET and i'm like.. wait ykw#i love this space.. it's still comfort and warmth#so yeah thank you for giving me hope and keeping me here you mean so much to me#the platform changes and sucks sometimes but you guys remain here and are as fucking kind as ever and#make this little community irreplaceable#i love you#and yeah. i just needed to get this off my chest bc it has been on my mind for rlly long#especially since those community labels butchered and changed interaction :/ like i just know the c&f family could've been#a lot bigger if not for the label on pt1.. could've really been one of the biggest stories around here but lol it is what it is !! the love#is overwhelming as it is so thank you <3#okay that's way too long pls ignore me bye#tdl???
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