#i read the first half of the book in one sitting lmfao

[hrina]

ana huang really put her whole pussy into king of wrath

[givemea-dam-break]

that funny feeling (locklyle)

a/n: this is my first locklyle fic please by kind lmfao. convinced to write this by the amazing @neewtmas and @waitingforthesunrise, so i hope you all enjoy this - it was inspired by the locklyle angst playlist a bunch of us have going so be warned :) this also brings holly munro into the story, but don't worry if you haven't read the books because i don't mention her too much. it isn't too long since i'm just testing the waters for my locklyle stuff lol

warnings: big sad taglist: @wellgoslowly @galactidiot

part 2

The days were beginning to melt together.

How long had he been lying here, hoping, praying, for Lucy to come back? For her to walk through the front door, bags in hand, declaring that she was coming back? That she never meant to leave? A few weeks, maybe. Or was it months? He had lost track of time.

Her absence was a tangible thing, something that he could reach out and feel so acutely that its sharp, jagged edges sliced his fingertips and cut deep into his heart. But, even still, sometimes he'd forget. He'd make her a cup of tea in the morning, just how she liked it - more milk than he or George would take, sometimes with a spoonful of honey if she wanted a little sweetness - only for it to sit atop the counter, growing cold. Neither he nor George had the heart to empty it into the sink. Holly would arrive, expecting it, and dump it out, but Lockwood knew that it pained her to do so too.

Waiting was useless. There were things that needed to get done. Cases for Lockwood and Co were piling up after the antics of last November, and they were steadily gaining a reputation. He needed to focus on that. On the thing he had always wanted.

But what was it worth when the one person he wanted most wasn't there, right by his side?

Part of him hoped that Lucy would see his pictures in the newspaper. Maybe she'd miss him as much as he did her, maybe it would be the thing that made her realise that she didn't need to leave. That she could come back.

He still couldn't make sense of her sudden resignation. She was worried that she couldn't control her Talents well enough, that she'd put them all in danger. But how could she? When she was the very thing that had saved Lockwood time and time again?

So, there he lay, sprawled on the attic's bed. The bed she once lay in night after night for years now. It still smelled like her; of lavender and some nice soap he couldn't distinguish. His excuse? This room was once his, and he was feeling reminiscent. He missed looking out of the window onto the street behind Portland Row, down into the back garden where the apple trees stood tall. He missed the warmth that flooded the room during the day, and the calm, soothing cool at night.

Everyone knew better, and he knew that, too.

Sometimes he'd just lie there, thoughtless and quiet. Other times, he would talk as if Lucy was there in the room with him. He'd practice his speech, the one he'd use to finally get her back, gazing at the picture he kept on her nightstand - one of the two of them and George she'd taken on an old camera she'd found stuffed in the wardrobe. She'd run down the stairs excitedly, demanding a picture, and George was forced into it, which his half-smiling expression showed. If Lockwood looked close enough, he could see the faint green glow on the lower right side of all of their faces from Skull, who had been pulling horrid faces at them.

He loved that picture with his whole heart. Her smile, so radiant, was completely and entirely entrancing, and she just seemed so, so happy with her face pressed up against his. So what went wrong?

Heaving a sigh, he released the pillow he so often clung to desperately like a child, and sat up. There were things that needed to be done. Research for a case. Make some new salt bombs. Have a shower. Had he already had one? He couldn't very well remember.

He could hear George clattering around downstairs doing God knows what - he wasn't too fond of the idea of finding out, petrified at the thought of finding his best friend half-naked doing some sort of yoga again - and there was Holly just down the stairs, muttering something or other. She did that often now. He could never tell what it was she was saying, but he recognised the lost look in her eyes. She and Lucy may not have been on the best of terms, but she missed her. Badly.

This was always the worst part. Starting the day.

Without Lucy, the whole routine felt empty. Where was her smile, or her snarky comments directed at Skull, the same ones he often worried were actually for him? Where were those bright eyes that would look at him with such happiness when he paid her a - supposedly - mindless compliment? Or the moments where she'd put him in his place with just a few words? Oh, how he missed those dearly.

It always left a funny feeling in his chest, thinking about those times. A mixture of a strange grief, a mourning for someone who had not died but rather had left of their own volition, and of horrible loss, almost like losing a limb. Like losing a crucial part of himself. Because, really, that's what Lucy was to him. She was everything.

Even still, he dragged himself from her bed, lingering for a moment in the doorway of the bedroom like he always did, before trudging down, down, down to the kitchen.

Relieved to find George not in the midst of a horrific yoga demonstration, but rather shoving pots and pans into the cupboards, he brewed himself some tea.

He tried to ignore the way his hand hovered in front of Lucy's mug, which was stained from the tea they never seemed to be able to fully scrub away, and sat at the table, staring into the murky brown of his brew. Lucy always made it look so much more appealing.

No matter how hard he tried to disregard the little things, she seemed to be everywhere he looked. There was a sketch on the thinking cloth of Inspector Barnes as an elephant, tooting his trunk. And, there, the vase of flowers she'd set during their last meal together, a bundle of long-since-wilted lilacs she'd picked from the back garden. Over on the counter, there was a large circular ring where Skull would often reside, covered by a teatowel, and it was as if his evil had seeped from the silverglass and into the countertop, never to be removed.

Lockwood wondered if Skull, as crude as he was, was at least keeping Lucy company. He'd hate for her to be on her own.

"I don't know how Holly does this," George grumbled. He shoved another pan into the cupboard haphazardly. "It's impossible."

As if on cue, the pans toppled, crashing down around George and onto the floor. Holly appeared seconds later, scolding him as she easily slotted them in and shut the door.

Like every other day, there was a certain tension in the air that none of them seemed to be able to shake, no matter how hard they tried. Holly could bring all the almond-iced doughnuts she could carry; George could make the most absurd comments to ever have graced this earth to make them laugh; hell, Lockwood could smile and charm all he wanted, but it never amounted to anything. Not without Lucy.

He had been searching for a reason to get her back since the day he'd left her at that café, too frustrated and dejected to even try and continue the conversation. Were there any cases he could hire her for now that she was an independent agent? That seemed like the only logically sound way to get her to be with them again. To be with him. He couldn't just turn up to her new flat, so far away from Portland Row, and beg her to come home. No matter how badly he wished he could.

So, he picked up his newspaper and flicked through it, hoping to forget about her for just a moment.

But it was impossible. How could one simply forget about Lucy Carlyle? Lucy Carlyle and her jibes; Lucy Carlyle and her beautiful smile and eyes; Lucy Carlyle and the warmth she provided Lockwood with. Especially when her adverts were in the paper.

Lockwood could not forget about her for even a moment, something he had come to realise every single day since she'd left. Not after she'd allowed him to feel. To feel pure joy and humour and wonderful frustration and love.

That's perhaps what hurt the most about it all. Not her reasoning. Not the suddenness of it. Rather, the things she'd arisen inside of him, feelings he hadn't truly allowed since the deaths of his family. Letting people in was far too real, and he didn't want to permit them to the same fates as the other people he had loved and lost. But Lucy, oh, Lucy. She was supposed to be different. She was supposed to stay.

But she left, and he missed her more than should ever be possible. He knew he should've expected it, but he had allowed himself to hope. Lucy had sparked that hope inside of him, and even now it still lingered, waiting for her to return.

He was stupid for it, he knew. It was the only thing that kept him going - the notion that she may decide that she was wrong and come back to him. But it was unlikely to happen. So he had to come to terms with it, as would Holly and George.

And, so, her seat would stay vacant. Her mug would remain stained. Lockwood would creep into her room at night, falling asleep under the watchful eye of her photograph. All the while, she would sleep beneath a different roof, under the same sky, so, so far from him.

[yuelaos-codex]

Alone, desire, ghost for the new baby Selene 🙈 and failure, heartbreak, midnight for Ylva 🙈

TYSM BIGGIE! 😭😭💖💖💖 (ik it’s a little late djshjsfkdk)

alone: How does your OC deal with loneliness? Have they ever been completely alone before? How do they act when there's no one around to see them?

She always has been lonely 😭 she likes to read books, draw, and write songs as an escape. She’s from a noble family, but was treated as a bastard so there were a lot of times that she was alone. She lives with her human mother that was too focused with her job (or whatever she was doing). When no one is around her, she recites lyrics out loud to check if they rhyme. A lot.

desire: What's one thing your OC wants more than anything in the world? Are they open with that desire? Why or why not? What would they do to fulfill it?

Acceptance in her family. Being born as a half-elf in a noble family of sun elves, she was always ignored or tolerated by her (inherently racist) relatives. She’s trying so hard to assimilate in high society but she’s always treated as an outsider. However, she’s well-liked outside of nobility.

it all boils down to what she wants is to be loved 😀

ghost: Who or what haunts your OC? What happened? How do they live with their ghosts?

Before the tadpole fiasco, she has never killed anybody. Yes, she had magic training from the academy, but she never had to use it. She was sheltered. She has ordered people to kill their political enemies before, but she never had to do it herself. It was just a bandit that suddenly opened fire at them, and she had to defend herself. The smell of burning flesh and their screams as the flames engulfed them still haunts her sometimes. Every time she bloodies her hands, the faces of the people she has killed warps into the face of the bandit. It’s a dog eat dog world, and she was a tad bit late to the party.

((She feels like they all turn to that bandit to protect herself from the fact that numerous people have been added to her murder list. If they all share the same face, that just means she’s only killing one person, right?))

failure: What's your OC's greatest failure? Have they been able to move past it? Does anyone else know about it?

heimdall lmao

I guess you could say giving into her emotions. That whole incident got her exiled from Asgard, which stripped her of her Valkyrie position— a title she worked her whole life to get.

Ylva does move on from it through her revenge.

Everyone and their mothers knew about it! It was the talk of the town. She was the first Valkyrie to get exiled, and backed with a controversial reason too.

heartbreak: Have they ever had a relationship that ended badly? Experienced some other kind of heartbreak? What happened?

LMFAO U ALREADY KNOW 💀

As for some other kind of heartbreak:

She was also heartbroken by Freya because during her rampage after finding out about Heimdall’s engagement, Freya bound Ylva with her vines. She felt that her (newfound) sister betrayed her. Imagine Ylva, while still bounded by the vines, giving Freya a pleading look as Odin was casting her exile 😭😭

midnight: What keeps your OC up at night? Do they have nightmares? Fears? Anxieties? What do they do in the small hours of the morning when they should be sleeping?

During their mission to retrieve the Gjallarhorn, Heimdall almost dies which made her realize her feelings for him. On their journey back to Asgard, she would wake up randomly to nightmares of him dying. She’d scoot over his sleeping form and touch any part of him before going back to sleep. Funny how her nightmares turned into her dreams a few years later.

Fears and anxieties: being an outcast as a child, she has this fear of not being accepted by her peers. She’s a people pleaser.

I imagine Ylva making a snack and sitting by the fire if she can’t sleep.

[thisisadecisionimayregret]

mid-year book podcast freak out 2023

Got tagged by @allcountersarehipheight, which thank you so much for tagging me, I love to be tagged in things lol, but uh

I kinda realized that I haven't read enough books to actually do this lmfao. I did start reading Ancillary Justice this past week, and I read the book How to Keep House While Drowning (definitely recommend), and I've read a decent amount of fanfic.

But (as you know) I've had some Big Life Changes this year. Who knew, looking for apartments, packing, moving across the country, and starting a new job seriously eats up time and makes reading books difficult lol.

So anyway. The only media I've actually really consumed this year are podcasts, cause the move if anything only increased the time available for listening to podcasts. And this looked fun. So I'm gonna just. freak out about podcasts for a minute

Best book podcast you’ve read heard so far this year

The White Vault. Hooooly shit y'all. This show. I'm feeling so insane about it rn, and I am really looking forward to their next season whenever it releases and listening to their patreon-only miniseries in this world. I am just in awe of their entire production, the writing, the creeping dread and terror (my roommate laughed at me for my reactions), the fucking sound design!!!! lemme say, having Done sound design work myself, shit is hard and they really made this show next level real. And god it is impossible not to fall in love with the characters and sucked into the plot. If you hear it, it hears you too....

Best sequel you’ve read heard so far this year

The PALISADE season of Friends at the Table!! Another installment in their Divine Cycle stories and it continues to be my favorite podcast on the planet. It makes me feel so much I have trouble putting any of it into words. I can only scream incoherently and reblog the gorgeous wonderful fanart for this show. Everyone needs to listen to fatt right now immediately. This is not news to anyone who follows me lmfao

New release you haven’t read heard yet

The new season of Life with LEO(h)! I loved the first season, and I am really excited to listen to the second one that's releasing now. I haven't quite gotten around to it though, it's one of the shows where having both earbuds in helps me keep track of everything, and since I'm usually listening to stuff at work where I can't have both earbuds in, it's just been. Sitting in my playlist, waiting to be played.

Most anticipated release for the second half of the year

Within the Wires season 8, definitely. I've been listening to the show since the first episode released in 2016 and it has remained one of my all time favorite podcasts for that entire time. I have no idea what the next season's focus will be, it's always something different, and it always always wrecks me, and it is always rearranges my brain. October can't come soon enough.

Biggest disappointment

The Two Princes. I had listened to the first season whenever that came out, but didn't follow it when it went exclusive on spotify, cause fuck spotify, but this year they quietly gave up on making it spotify exclusive. And maybe the fact I had enjoyed but felt pretty meh about season one should've been a hint for my reaction, but hey, they autodownloaded, so I decided to listen to seasons 2 and 3. And y'know. It was fine. It just wasn't particularly good. Idk, maybe I'm not the target audience for that show.

Biggest surprise

Lost Hills: The Dark Prince. It's a surprise cause it's not something I would've sought or picked out to listen to on my own. But you know the thing some shows do, where they go "hey, we're promoting another podcast, so we're dropping their first episode in our feed, enjoy" and you just go along with it instead of skipping, and afterwards you go "hm well I haven't cared about malibu or surfing At All my whole life, but now i just Gotta know the fucked up history of this One Dickhead who had a huge influence on the surfing culture that extends into the present day." Well. Here we are.

Favorite new author (debut or new to you)

Fool & Scholar Productions! Not debut, but new to me. They're the team responsible for The White Vault (among other shows I am looking forward to listening to). Seriously, their writing and their audio production are so so so excellent and I really admire their dedication to Getting things Right, particularly in regards to how they write international characters and go to great lengths to cast people from those cultures and who speak those languages to act. And although I haven't had a chance to listen to their TWV patreon-miniseries Imperial, the whole thing about using an endangered language in it and working with speakers and scholars of that language to get things right is just. Wow. It's incredible and I am (again) so excited to listen to it and their other shows, this team really just makes the language nerd and audio nerd in me vibrate

Newest fictional crush/newest favorite character

This was so difficult but I gotta say, Vivian Exler from the Upstairs and Downstairs game of fatt Road to Palisade. Gardner/groundskeeper who gets the revolutionary zines and is constantly bickering with the mechanic. I am predictable and quickly become a fan of any Jack de Quidt character and Vivian was no exception.

Book Podcast that made you cry

Yet another win for The White Vault here. It made me cry multiple times, for sad reasons, and I mean this another glowing recommendation for this show. Love to be made to feel emotions

Book Podcast that made you happy

Ologies with Alie Ward!! Literally this podcast is just a constant source of joy and makes me so happy to be on this planet. Every single ologist Alie interviews is so genuinely excited about their subject and it is endlessly fascinating to learn more about the world around us. There's episodes that definitely can be bummers, but even the bummer episodes ultimately instill in me optimism and hope and appreciation. And also I get to leave every episode with a handful of fun facts I can bring out at parties when I'm anxious.

Alright, there we are! I'm gonna tag @housetalis (eternal thanks for introducing me to TWV) and @grand-magnificent. Feel free to do the original book freakout or do a podcast freakout or to not do it at all — no pressure either way!

[the-teddy-bear-butch]

Stupid fanfic asks part 3/3 @candle-lion “all divisible by 3”

69: how do you write emotional scenes? do you ever feel what the characters feel?

First of all, nice. Second of all, music music music. I have to have some emotional music to write to. I would say I occasionally feel what the characters feel, especially when I relate to whatever thing is going through their head

72: what do you do if a scene gets too serious?

Not sure what this means necessarily. I think I’m pretty good at keeping my serious scenes the right amount of serious and my not serious scenes not serious. I guess if it happened, try to add some witty line to lighten the mood? But usually if I want it serious, I want it serious, ya know?

75: do you know how your story ends before you start writing?

About half of the time. Run away was started spontaneously with no end in mind. Same with so are you with me? But a lot of the others were planned. Sometimes I change my mind halfway through too. I call it the ADHD way of writing

78: how do you choose where to end a chapter?

If the word count is long enough to feel satisfying and I feel I have closed the scene at a satisfying point, I’ll end it. Sometimes I’ll end on a cliffhanger for the fun of it or dramatic effect

81: if you could go back in time and give your younger self a piece of writing advice specific to you, what would it be?

Don’t burn yourself out. It’s okay to take your time. Your work will end up better anyway! I used to be so bad about publishing whatever I had written IMMEDIATELY for that dopamine rush of validation (both in my Wattpad middle schooler days and beginning run away). Editing and sitting on my writing a bit before posting has helped its quality and my confidence. Plus writing burnout sucks ass. I love to write, and burning myself out is a quick way to change that

84: said: overused or underused?

Depends on the writer. I think I underuse it in an effort not to overuse it lmfao

87: does your writing style change depending on the genre you write?

I think it does, but not necessarily consciously. I tend to lean into different imagery and metaphors depending on the thing I’m writing. I think it’s most noticeable in like,,, the difference between there in the garden with some of the darker, gothic imagery, vs so are you with me? with lighter stuff, sunlight, etc etc. I emphasize different things too

90: do you notice your own voice in your writing style?

Oh one of my biggest fears is not having a unique writing voice. I don’t think mine is strong by any means, but I think it’s there

93: do you hear other people’s writing styles when they talk?

Only with my irl best friend. I think the more you know someone, the easier it is to pick up on those consistencies between writing voice and speaking voice, but I don’t talk to most writers I know enough to hear it, and I don’t think our Discord/Tumblr convos are super reflective of our writing

96: romantic/social sideplots: interesting or irritating?

Depends. Fuck off with your love triangles (unless they’re true triangles). I love a good messy romantic or other social side plot

99: was being a writer a dream of yours when you were little? or did it spring up when your older? or is it just a hobby? 

It was!! I’ve always loved reading and it translated to loving writing too. I don’t think I could make a career of it, I don’t think I’m famous author material between my skill level and the fact that having to have books out would become a chore. But! I would love to have published books still. I think it’d be fun to be a PhD’d microbiology researcher who also happens to have a few silly queer novels published on the side

[madraleen]

Bungo Stray Dogs - Kafka Asagiri/Sango Harukawa Vol. 14-15: A pretty balanced commentary (*anime spoilers and manga spoilers up to ch.114)

-FYODOR, IF VILLAIN WHY SO DAMN PRETTY

-"i won't let [fyodor] hurt a single person [of the agency]" aww ranpo bb

-OMG I'D FORGOTTEN THAT IS NIKOLAI'S FIRST APPEARANCE! HI, I DON'T LIKE YOU, BUT IN A GOOD WAY, HI. 

-"terrorist murder society" lmfao, society

-i love atsushi, he exists in every font. capital letters, bold letters, small letters, soft letters, average letters, he's everything.

-when ranpo wants to turn this job down, fukuzawa looks like "...my favorite... child... has betrayed me…?!"

-oh dazai-chan. get comfy, get settled. welcome to your meursault arc that'll last for at least ten more volumes. i love it when his speech bubble is music notes.

-see, dazai, jouno can hear THE SOUND OF YOUR MUSCLES, can you control THAT, babygirl?

-NIKOLAI HAS BEEN A SECRETARY FOR HALF A YEAR, how long have they been planning this

-jouno to dazai: "i can hear your rage." awww, dazai-chan has rage. love seeing wild emotions on dazai

-i'm starting to giggle lowkey hysterically 'cause we're about to start the craziest arc, the never-ending arc, THE arc, the-

-kenji-kun is hugging the back of kunikida's chair as they watch nikolai's video, what a lovely detail

-you know what? before the next arc, there should be an interlude when fifty clues fall on the agency's lap and everyone's like "nope. not doing a thing," and just chilling because they're being baited with clues so often just to fall into traps, like damn. just ignore everything and go have a sushi.

-right, the decay of the angel is fukuchi, fyodor, nikolai, bram and sigma. five.

-ooh sigma has to give intel to get intel, interesting

-okay but does that mean someone in special division knows where the book is?! where was the page taken from, where was the book?! who has it?! why does francis need atsushi if people actually know where it's sealed?! (well, maybe francis doesn't know that)

-"DOSTOY"?! NIKOLAI HAS A PET NAME FOR FYODOR?!

-gogol is gogol is gogol and then suddenly you cut to a panel where he's breathtakingly beautiful

-i mean, i have questions about the book. i don't know how literally switching places with the white hoods or... being there from the beginning or... the whole thing with the white hoods being the agency, how the heck does that constitute narrative consistence? book-san, i have questions.

-omg, fyodor is learning "common japanese"

-vol.15- dude, what beautiful covers though

-DAZAI'S GRIN IN HIS MUGSHOT HELP ME

-book-san, if cameras materialize out of thin air is narrative consistence, what is NOT consistent exactly? like, alright, it rewrites reality - "and then they saw the footage," so a camera must've been there, so to maintain narrative consistency a camera materializes. but is that narrative consistency when a camera wasn't there in the first place? or does narrative consistency just means "anything goes except mass human extinction ‘cause we can’t have that"?

-"something beyond our abilities" might have made the book- oh, maybe we're back to the lovecraftian mysteries then?

-will we ever meet the government's mind-reading skill user, hm? hm?

-was tetchou so pretty princess in the anime? i don't remember him so

-LIL BB TETCHOU IS HOLDING HIS BREATH BC JOUNO TOLD HIM HIS BREATHING ANNOYS HIM, MY HEART

-jouno stops kenji-kun's punch with one hand, while sitting cross-legged and not batting an eyelash.

-i'm sorry, wth, jouno and tetchou are so pretty

-CHU CHU CHUUYA

-ah yes, the beginnings of my "one agency member will switch over to the mafia" suffering. on the one hand, i'm not in any hurry to see it happen 'cause i'm scared (please not dazai, please not dazai, please-). on the other hand, i'm like JUST RIP THE BAND-AID OFF AND GET IT OVER WITH, WHO IS IT

-"USABLE SKILLS" YOU SAY, yes chuuya, we have one of those, tanizaki-kun! and he's pretty okay with the idea too

-it's interesting how kunikida's ideals are also a burden to him, with him feeling some sort of relief at the prospect of losing them, ‘cause there’s a certain freedom in not having anything to live up to, not having anything to uphold, and in not being afraid of the day when it will all crumble because everything will have crumbled already. complex and human.

-very nice panel sequence when kunikida blows up himself and tetchou, very smooth, very impactful, very nice

-hm, francis also says fyodor could be communicating via the guards but... it's too simple! i still don't buy it. it's too big of a job to delegate it, not fyodor. come on, he's getting the information in real-time, or close to it.

-i just had a certain thought- "but dazai also gets info in real t-, no, he stops time, it's fine, time's irrelevant for him," this is what bsd has done to me, that's a perfectly sensible sentence now.

-DAZAI GOT CAUGHT TO SAVE THE AGENCY, FUKUZAWA, KNOW THAT! KNOW THAT, REMEMBER YOUR BLACK SHEEP CHILD! IT WASN'T A VACATION TRIP TO EUROPE!

-"it's time to play, dostoyevsky" oooh dazai-chan looks so serious. i understand the "i hate you, but also my world is boring without you" appeal, but i genuinely don't feel like this is the case for dazai towards fyodor. i joke that it's his situationship because it's funny, but i actually think that he genuinely hates fyodor and genuinely wants to take him down, no ifs, no buts, no regrets, no sense of loss.

[demigod-shenanigans]

Now I’m thinking about Piper trying to use the mock trial thing to ask Reyna out. Asking her to stay late because there’s one more case she wants to make her point on and then starts rattling down a whole statement on why they’d be a good fit (Reyna thinks it’s endearing as hell but also tells her she’d still have said yes if Piper had just asked normally). Also while Piper did originally join for Reyna related reasons I feel like she ends up really enjoying mock trials. (Leo gives her so much shit about the fact that she joined specifically to spend time with Reyna and still waited until the last meeting to ask her out lmfao)

Also if that exists at their school Reyna is absolutely on the fencing team. Piper came to every single one of her competitions even before they started talking because she’s just… really passionate about fencing

I feel like Annabeth and Reyna both do chess club (also someone really needs to tell Reyna to cut back on her after school activities because she will burn herself out but she’s stubborn about it)

Leo would love robotics club. Has definitely built a tiny Festus.

Re: book club, Leo constantly forgets to even read the books. He’ll read the Wikipedia summary and/or pester Piper half an hour before the meeting starts and then just bs his way through the discussion like nobody’s business

Lmao oh Jason cannot catch a break when he’s dressed like that. Percy and Nico probably give him shit about it too

Piper and Leo are 100% so so dramatic about not having enough classes together.

Leo is the type who gets caught on his phone and gets it confiscated and then called up front bc the teacher wants to embarrass him for not paying attention. Except Leo is in that class because he’s actually good at maths. He doesn’t care about impressing the teacher but he does care not to take his bs so he’ll just answer the question flawlessly and then return to his seat to continue doodling on his worksheet

Jason ends up taking Spanish later on (partially for Leo, partially because he wants to impress Leo’s mom. His pronunciation is a disaster especially at first but Esperanza finds it really endearing. Leo just makes fun of his boyfriend 😌). Piper begrudgingly joins him because Reyna and Leo both speak Spanish and she refuses to be the only one in their immediate friend group who doesn’t speak any

Reyna has tried to motivate Leo and Piper about properly participating before but they haven’t had enough classes together that day and they need to catch each other up on the day’s gossip (it’s hopeless)

Leo is so offended Jason “ditched them” for Percy and Nico (mostly he’s annoyed he can’t watch Jason work out in class and therefore needs to decide whether he’s willing to stay late so he can watch him work out during football practice instead)

Jason and Percy always make a competition out of everything (they refuse to play on the same team for the team sports) and Nico is a little annoyed to always be stuck in the middle of that because he really doesn’t care for PE that much

Leo probably does this on purpose, too, but he’s subtle enough that the teacher can never prove it (he absolutely brags about it to Piper later though). Now I’m thinking about a running joke of Will somehow always ending up caught in the crossfire of Leo’s science messes despite the fact that he intentionally chose a different desk to sit at after the third incident. One time Leo accidentally lit his hair on fire (thankfully no one ended up seriously hurt) and that’s the only incident Leo actually feels bad about

Reyna never gets any essay stuff done during those Wednesdays she should really know better at this point but she keeps trying anyway lmao

Trying not to make the same mistake as last week and be a bit more well-prepared this time, so asking in advance: tomorrow will be horribly stressful and I would really appreciate getting some kind of fluffy headcanons or asks or something that I can distract myself with :)

[miekasa]

mie.. i’m going into another eren phase.. so can you pls tell me your fav boyfie eren hcs…

Yeah, why not. I have so many random ones because he is my boyfriend <333 so here you gp

sfw

Eren doesn't actually work out all that often. He’s always been athletic, so his exercise comes in the form of playing sports, but he doesn’t really go to the gym outside of playing/practice.

Loves cake pops, more often than not “treats himself” to one after an exam or assignment, or whenever he feels like it lmfao. He basically eats it all in one bite, keeps the stick in his mouth to fidget with until he finds a trashcan. 

Likes seeing you in his hoodies because, well, it’s his hoodie on you; but mostly because of the size of the actual hood on you. He thinks it’s so funny but also pretty cute how the hood alone swallows you up. 

Grocery shopping with you is one of his favorite activities. He rarely goes by himself—if not with you, then with Mikasa or Armin—and all he really does is follow you around the store and occasionally put some stuff in the cart, but he still loves it. He likes running and then jumping on the cart like it’s a scooter. 

No matter how many makeup tutorials he watches, or how many times he watches you do your own makeup, he doesn’t really understand how it works lmfao. He likes watching it, and he thinks you look pretty if wearing makeup is your thing, but he baffles him how a little tube of concealer brightens your under eye.

Speaking of which, he sits criss cross applesauce either on your bed or on the toilet if you’re in the bathroom, while he watches you do your makeup. Counts the steps in his head, always confuses the contour and bronzer. It’s okay, he’s learning. 

He both likes and dislikes FaceTime. He likes the convenience of it (and will abuse it by calling you even tho you’ve just barely left his house), but he would much rather just go and see you; so he does. Unless there’s something keeping you apart, Eren will make the effort and the trip to go and see you, even if it’s late at night. 

He gets warm very easily, but always has some sort of coat/outerwear on him, even if it’s just a light windbreaker. He usually ends up hanging it over your shoulders or telling you to wear it because you “look cold” when he wants to take it off. 

He walks just like a half step behind you; technically still by your side, but trailing you by the tiniest amount. That way he gets to be with you and watch you, and also steer you away from anything/anyone else he sees ahead while you’re walking. 

If he notices your shoelaces are untied, he gently pokes your shoulder to get you to stop, then bends down and ties them for you. 

His phone case is brown leather, and has your initials engraved at the very bottom in a very tiny, dark green font. 

Likes walking around with you at night so congrats on having your own personal guard dog for Safety lmfaoo. Sometimes you guys don’t even talk; he just wants to hold your hand and wander around, and just be with you for a little bit. 

He is the one putting hair ties on YOUR gear shift and around YOUR wrist. Marking his territory lmfaooo

Learns to like coffee in college, and learns your Starbucks order pretty quickly. He’s got a very small addiction, but he always buys you a cup when he gets his own, so at least it’s beneficial for you. He doesn’t usually have much an extreme sweet tooth, but he takes his coffee with quite a few pumps of syrup and/or sweetener. 

Eren loves hugs, and once he starts getting them, he refuses to go with out them. Back hugs are his favorite, whether it be you hugging him from behind, or him doing it to you; either works for him, both feel like heaven. 

You know when it’s time to head home after a party/hanging with your friends because Eren will drape himself over you and gradually apply more of his body weight the more tired/drunk he gets. Regardless of whether or not he’s sloshed, he’ll still press very light and innocent kisses onto your neck and ears. 

Turns out he really likes getting kisses on his cheeks. It always takes him by surprise; his eyes widen and his eyebrows raise just a bit, but he usually evens out his expression before you pull back, so you don’t see. What you do see is the sorta glazed over, happy look in his eyes, and if you look closely, you might see his pupils dilate, too. 

He actually doesn’t mind reading, he just never thinks to read in his free time. When he does remember, and what he’s reading is interesting to him, he finishes the book pretty quickly—a few days, maybe a week at most—it’s kind of impressive. Then he goes on to not look at another book for a good five months lmfao. 

Asked you what detergent and fabric softener you used on your sheets, then bought the exact same products to do his laundry with. 

He picks you up pretty often. It’s not always tossing you over his shoulder, or carrying you bridal style, but if he needs to get to something behind you in the kitchen he’ll just. Just pick you up, turn, plop you down, get what he needs, pick you up, turn around again, and plop you right back into place. Like a doll. 

Actually very good and very meticulous when it comes to cleaning. Not a single hard water stain in sight on your dishes. Sparkling countertops and tables, your oven has never looked shinier than when he’s done with it. 

Doodles on his notes when he’s bored in class. Doodles on your notes if he’s bored in class and you’re there, too. 

He claims to not get jealous easily, but he definitely does. His methods of dealing with it are either to (a) pout (usually only happens when he gets jealous of someone you’re telling him about), (b) find an excuse to pull you away from this other person, (c) be extremely cold to this other person, (d) pretend to be sick/tired/hungry as an excuse for you to be concerned about him/dote on him in front of this other person (this is his favorite method). 

Will push your phone down/into your face if you’re laying down using it or just scrolling through your feeds. Thinks it’s peak comedy, always runs away with a little shit grin on his mouth. 

He’s always tuned into you, and sometimes physically turned to you, even in a larger conversation with other people around. Finds a way to pull you into the convo if you’ve been on the quieter side, nudges at your side under the table to bother you when you’re distracted, frequently looks at you even if someone else is talking. 

nsfw/suggestive

Eren really likes lazy sex, and it’s arguably one of his favorites; and for someone who’s not a morning person, he sure does like morning sex. He does this thing where he wakes up at like eight in the morning, starts feeling up on you, and eventually very lazily fucks you before you even have the chance to say good morning, then crashes and sleeps for another two hours. Sometimes he doesn’t pull out. 

Always gets hard when you do try on hauls of the new clothes you’ve bought; whether it be via FaceTime or in person. You could be showing him your new sweatpants, and he’ll still find it sexy. 

Can and will find time to grope you whenever possible. Getting water from the kitchen means you’re getting your ass smacked while you open the fridge. Putting on your shoes also means you’re getting your ass smacked when you bend over. Standing around debating on what to wear for the day means he’s coming up behind you to put his hands on your boobs. Doing your skincare routine in the bathroom means he’s got his hands on your hips squeezing at your skin. 

Likes being bitten. Will tell you to bite him; he’ll lean down while he’s fucking you, smile wickedly when you grab and claw at his back, and you’re gasping against his shoulder, “Wanna hurt me? Go ahead, baby, do your worst.” 

He loves making out with you, even if it doesn’t lead to sex; actually, sometimes, he prefers it that way. You make his head spin just by kissing him, and there’s a special kind of bliss of just rutting against each other without fucking that he loves. 

Lovesssss taking mirror selfie’s with you on his lap and your back to the mirror, especially right after sex. Your head resting on his shoulder and he just barely murmurs, “Stay right there, don’t move.” Might start a collection of pics like that.

Tugging on his ear acts as encouragement, but somewhat surprisingly, that sole action doesn’t necessarily turn him on; it doesn’t turn him off, and he likes it, but it’s more... soothing? than sexual to him. What you should do instead is put your hand on the back of his neck/touch the hair near his nape. 

He could have done all the work, but will still wrap you in his arms and kiss your head and tell you how good you are, how good you were to him. He really does think you fucked him 9/10 times and takes pride in it too lmaooo

Holds your jaw open with one hand, presses the index and middle fingers of his other hand against your tongue, and watches your spit pool around him. He exhales slowly at the sight, moving his fingers around to coat them evenly before pulling them out of your mouth and separating them; watches a thin line of spit connect them and groans. 

Holds you jaw a lot, actually: when you’re kissing, when you’re blowing him, when he’s on top and fucking you, when he’s fucking you from behind, he’ll pull you up with one hand, use two fingers and turn your head to the side so he can kiss you. 

It’s him that kinda loses it first most of the time; that gets that fucked out, hazy look in his eyes, that makes everything feel like too much so his head drops to your shoulder and he resorts to biting at your neck to further stimulate you. 

Likes sucking on your tongue when you kiss. Falls in love with you all over again on the spot when you do it back to him. 

You could just barely put your hands on him and Eren will groan, mutter about how you’re so sexy and how badly he wants to fuck you. Could just lay back with your chest heaving from kissing him and he’s got hearts in his eyes and his dick is hard. 

[animetrashlord-007]

Kitten Ears;; Satan

Word Count;; 2.5k

Genre;; Smut

Pairing;; Satan [Obey Me!] x Reader

Summary;;

Tight ropes grace your figure. You’re expected to sit pretty and await his command… but you’ve always had a rebellious streak. If he’d rather spend the night reading his silly little book, you’ll just have to give him a reason to focus on you instead.

Warnings;;

Masochist Bratty Rope Bunny!Reader + Mean Dom!Satan

Explicit language, explicit BDSM, Shibari / Bondage, pain kink + dacryphilia, improper use of a belt (as a gag), pet names (kitten, toy, etc), thigh riding, rough nipple play and clit stimulation, degradation (including some slutshaming), biting, choking, edging and orgasm denial, & of course cockwarming eventually lmfao

Request;;

Anon said: “Obey me satan cock warming please! 🙏”

Notes;;

It’s;;; about the control. The shibari position is called ‘Bunny Ears’ or Futomomo Delta if you’re curious. AlsO i Think this awoke something within me lmfao the lines left on the skin after shibari are so pretty??

My Masterlist

   Tears well in your eyes from the stretch. Tied behind your back by jute rope, your arms are growing tired. Due to the sharp angle your fingers dangle against the shallow indents of your shoulder blades. Your elbows extend overhead in what Satan refers to as ‘kitten ears’. Each wrist is bound together in a criss-cross while also connecting with the opposite limb’s forearm. Forearms and biceps are locked against one another by forest green rope.

   It didn’t seem like a difficult position when he first suggested it. How wrong you were. Within minutes your upper half had begun to ache. Even now the soft expanses of your inner arms rest against the back of your head, pushing it forward. There’s no end to this gentle torture; you can’t relieve the tension building within your strained neck.

   When you look up at Satan, you turn a little too fast and pull a little too hard at your restraints. Each string is interwoven and reacts to the smallest movement. The ropes tighten against the flex of your arms, constricting the two lone strands wrapped around your naked torso, one above your breasts and the other below. Digging deep into your smooth skin, they etch their mark upon you, leaving behind a masterpiece to be admired once he deems this torment enough.

   Shifting from knee to knee, you appreciate the (albeit limited) freedom you have. Your legs remain bare of the green ropes and the artwork that follows. Despite how much he loves playing with the intricate designs forged upon your skin, fleeting yet enticing, this time is different, perhaps even special. Pressing your thighs together, you once again gaze at him. He’s reading some old book in some dead language, ignoring you.

   Unable to bear the sting licking at your muscles any longer, you try to stand but fail, unable to unfurl a single leg. Top heavy and numb from remaining in one spot for far too long, you crumple back down to your knees. His artisan rope-work is formidable, inescapable. Threaded together to immobilise you for his own entertainment, you remain still and silent, too proud to concede.

   Another minute passes and a shiver trickles down your spine. He’s looking at you. No, he’s devouring you. Call it a sixth sense – you know he’s to blame for the goosebumps rising across your skin. Risking a glance at the expense of your comfort, you seek his attention. Emerald eyes drink you in. A small smile forms on his lips as he places his book aside. When he gazes upon you, it’s electrifying. Pressing your face against your bicep, you relish in the throb of your overextended shoulder. The ropes tighten, crawling inch by inch along your ribcage in a slow, delightful burn.

   “What a beautiful little toy you are.”

   You want to reply but the words are muffled by the belt in your mouth. The taste of leather lingers on your tongue as you bite down a little harder. Saliva dribbles down your chin. Despite how sore your jaw is, you’d choose the gag over the ‘kitten ears’ any day of the week.

   “Are you tired, pretty one?”

   Trying to nod elicits a whimper from deep within your throat. His eyes shine a shade brighter at the sound. Leaning forward to capture your face within his slender fingers, his smile widens. A single tear rolls down your cheek, leading the charge with the promise of more to follow. Satan collects the droplet on his thumb before smearing it across your heated skin. Your eyelids flutter shut at his gentle caress, forcing more tears to spill forth.

   “Irresistible,” he murmurs. A breeze whisks around you. While refreshing, you don’t have time to appreciate it. Strong arms lift you to your feet, holding you steady as you open your bleary eyes. Satan’s hair appears as strands of gold through your filter of tears. Mesmerised, you watch the way it bounces around his petite features as he tilts his head. “Does my pretty kitten need to tap out?”

   When you shake your head and furrow your brow, he smirks. Part of the fun is seeing if he can break you just so he can put you back together again, to be the knight that cares for his little damsel. There’s also some appeal in the fact that you’re too stubborn (or perhaps stupid) to give in. No matter what he throws your way, you take it. Despite the pain, you beg for him. You refuse to use the safe signal, allowing him to use you as he pleases, but that just makes it more of a challenge. It isn’t enough to control your body, he wants your mind too – he wants to possess every last piece of you.

   “Would you like to hear a story, kitten?” You nod. “Good. Let’s get you comfortable, then.”

   Expecting him to untie the ropes, you shuffle on the spot. His fingers ghost over the elaborate cluster of knots that adorn your back. With the amount of time he spent on perfecting them, you’re eager to view the end product. The lines left behind on your skin from his binds are always clean and captivating.

   There’s a clink! like that of a belt buckle. It rings in your ears. Before you can turn, his arms wrap around your waist. The fabric of his jacket sleeve tickles your skin. Somewhere in the back of your mind you’re irritated by the fact that he’s fully dressed but the thought dispels as fast as it came. He falls back onto his lounge chair without loosening his hold on you, dragging you down with him.

   Between your bodies lies empty space; miles of it, cold and unwelcome. Seeking his warmth, you rock on the spot as you try to wiggle closer to him. It’s unintentional at first but the motion triggers a wave of yearning that you’re eager to sate. Balancing on his leg, your bare cunt rubs against his thigh. Cool air kisses your pulsing heat and pleasure grips your core from the sensation. Remaining cautious, you spread your legs open wider, pressing down hard against him. You pick up a subtle pace as you ride him. It takes a lot of effort to make it look natural, like you’re just trying to readjust yourself rather than chasing the slightest stimulation.

   Pages rustle behind you as he grabs the book he was reading. He holds it within one hand while the other draws symbols on your stomach. While innocuous at first, his relentless teasing eats away at your willpower. You can’t hold yourself back when the answer to your carnal desires is within reach. A flash of bliss tears down your spine as your body reacts to the mere thought of him. Ravenous from the delectable memory of him pounding you into the sheets, your cunt clenches around nothing, hungry to be filled to the brim.

   Your nails dig into your back the longer your little charade continues, teetering between obedience and pursuing what you crave. Satan’s breath warms the nape of your neck as he recites some ancient poem from his stupid little book. The words are lost on you; everything he rattles off is ignored in favour of eliciting every ounce of pleasure possible from your rocking.

   It isn’t until he pinches one of your nipples, twisting the sensitive bud between his smooth fingertips, that you crash back down to earth. His tone is harsh as he addresses you, cracking down upon you like a whip. “You’re going to stain my pants if you keep doing that, slut.”

   Ceasing your actions with a low whine, you tremble on his lap. He, however, doesn’t stop. Releasing your nipple, he grabs a fistful of your tit and squeezes until your back arches. You fall back against him, fleeing the biting pain that erupts where his claws mark you. When he sees the red indents later he’ll frown, disappointed in how his beautiful canvas is marred, but in the heat of the moment he’s enslaved by his sin. He scratches your delicate skin to quell his anger, scraping deep enough to paint you in various shades but never deep enough to draw blood.

   “You’re too pretty to act up like this. Haven’t I trained you well enough?” he spits the words out. Slamming the book shut, his hand snakes around your neck. The veins in his arm bulge as he tenses, straining to hold himself back. “Are you broken? Should I throw you away? Or…” He adds some pressure to your throat. It’s when your breath hitches that you notice he’s hard, his cock twitching within its confines. “Or would my little kitten like a second chance?”

   It’s a trap, of course. There’s no way to win – he wants you to fail.

   Even so you nod, desperate to be used despite how pathetic you feel.

   “Good girl.”

   He pulls his cock free and it rests against the curve of your arse. Much hotter than your own skin, you fight the urge to rut against him. Instead you sit still and pretty, awaiting his next move. You forget to breathe during the long seconds that pass. It isn’t until he lifts your hips in one swift movement that you let your hopes up. Shivering in excitement, you whimper against your gag.

   “You’re soaked already.” He tuts, flicking your clit with his middle finger. “I don’t even have to prepare you. Your greedy little hole is always ready to be fucked, isn’t it? Disgusting.”

   Aligning himself with your entrance, he pushes inside. Pulling you down further on his cock by his tight grip on your hips, your muscles tremble. It’s hard to maintain such a slow pace. Inch by inch, he fills you. The stretch is exquisite. Once he bottoms out, sheathed within you in his entirety, you expect a punishing speed to be set. What you receive, however, is quite the opposite.

   “Now where were we?”

   With no regard for your needs, he flips open his book and begins reading once more. Frustration surges through you – why must he always be difficult? It’s one thing to tease, but this is just cruel. Every time you inhale, chest rising to utilise every last ounce of your lung capacity, your hips rise ever so slightly. When you exhale and sink back down, his cock nudges against your g-spot. It’s an endless cycle of gentle stimulation.

   Despite his excellent rope skills, he’d made a mistake: leaving your legs untied. If he won’t give you what you want, you’ll bypass him and take what you want. Biting down harder on his belt, you brace yourself. It’ll require precision and haste to get yourself off before your thighs grow exhausted from the exertion. With a final tweak of your neck, relishing in how it cracks and the relief that comes with it, you lift yourself. His cock slides out of your pussy until only the tip remains and you clench around him, preparing to bounce on his hard shaft.

   Your plan is thwarted when his hand wraps around your neck, using it as a point of leverage as he slams you back down on his cock. Tears spring from your eyes, cooling your warm cheeks as they run down your face. Tight around him, your cunt continues to clench, greedy and impatient. His breath fans against your shoulder before his teeth dig into your skin. A sharp pain explodes outward from the point of contact.

   Breaking away from you, a patch of wetness left in his wake, he growls, “Stop moving. I’m busy.”

   His bite is nothing compared to the need gnawing at your core. Heavy seconds tick by and you relent to the ache of your neck, dropping your head only for your arms to follow, pushing your whole body forward until your back is slumped. Satan doesn’t move, his voice like velvet as he reads his book uninterrupted. At this moment you might very well hate him, but still you refuse to tap out.

   Instead you opt to seek out any morsel of pleasure you can. Staggering breaths aid the incessant pulsing of your walls. The more light-headed you become, the closer you push yourself toward the edge. It’s a delicate yet dangerous game and that recklessness throws you into overdrive. Chasing the memory of how orgasmic bliss feels, your mind stimulates the sensation, and though it isn’t the real thing, it’s close, especially when his cock sitting inside you is very, very real.

   Eyes fluttering shut, you continue to clamp around him all without moving your upper body, intent to follow Satan’s rules while also breaking them. Your nostrils flare with each hindered breath. Orgasming without being touched is a difficult but not impossible phenomenon. With enough dedication and the right state of mind, you can do it, you know you can. And that’ll really piss him off… which very well might make you come a second time untouched.

   Satan’s irritated sigh is far away but his rough treatment of your clit is grounding. He rubs the bundle of nerves beneath his fingers, aiding in your endeavour to reach that heavenly precipice. While his is not a gentle touch, it doesn’t take much stimulation before your orgasm approaches. Throwing your head back against his chest despite the taut ropes chafing your breasts, you buck into his hand.

   “What a nasty little whore you are. Do you really need to come that badly?” Panting around the belt, you mumble out your pleas. It’s a jumbled, incoherent mess. “Then you should get yourself off, kitten.”

   Eyes locking, you take in his lazy smirk. You know that look. Racing toward your peak, you can’t push his sadistic smile out of your head. Even as your core starts to shake and your body quivers, your mind instead focuses on his cold expression. With a low whine that reverberates in your throat, you pause before you can reach the finish line. He, too, halts.

   “What’s wrong? You were so close. Don’t you want to come?” He pinches your clit, pulling on the small nub. You shake your head and close your eyes, unable to look at his deepening scowl. His fingers graze along your entrance, almost slipping inside only to disappear completely. Even with his cock filling your cunt, you feel empty without his hands warming your skin.

   “Since you want to play by yourself today, you can learn to play by yourself for the next couple of months, too.”

   From behind the belt comes your gargled cries. When you twist on his lap, his cock drives a little further into you, triggering a burst of pleasure to echo throughout every nerve in your body. Brilliant emerald eyes bore into you, widening in amusement as you squeeze your thighs shut. Moisture overflows from the corners of your eyes and your vision turns blurry. His cock twitches within your walls and it’s tantalising how easy it would be to come right here and now out of sheer rebellion. Yet you hold your ground, unwilling to go without him for such an unthinkable length of time.

   “Don’t cry, little one.” Patting the top of your head, he fixes your dishevelled appearance. “I’m starting the chapter over. Pay attention this time.”

[babyboibucky]

The Match - Part 9

Pairing: CEO!Bucky x Fem!Reader

Summary: Bucky brings you and Mackenzie with him to an important meeting.

Word Count: 3.3k

Warnings: Uhhhh hmm work tension, sexual tension, idk Bucky and Mackenzie being annoying as usual lmao

A/N: ALSO I know I haven’t mentioned what the fuck Bucky’s company is all about because c’mon, I didn’t expect I’d get this far lmao so IDK there might be continuity issues or inaccuracies or whatevah, just ignore it lmao it’s fiction. ANYWAAAY, I just want to say how GRATEFUL AND OVERWHELMED I am with the amount of attention that this series is getting. I appreciate every feedback, every ask and every freaking debate about this shit lmfao. I love you guys. I can’t put into words how much I appreciate you all askcnasjkcnak bye

The Match Masterlist || MAIN MASTERLIST

Don't let Bucky or Mackenzie get to you.

Mark's advice rang in your ears like a chant as you watched Bucky and Mackenzie's exchange about the project. Joining them in the conference room for a major brainstorming session was you and a couple of people from your team with Beverly taking down the minutes of the meeting.

The upcoming project was a huge one, given that Barnes Group of Companies was a huge name in the automobile industry. Meanwhile, Wilson Enterprises is one of the biggest autonomous vehicle technology companies out there. This partnership was one for the books, possibly an industry changer too.

You wanted to be a part of it, wanted to spearhead the entire thing and watching Mackenzie take the reigns on this one was truly making your blood boil.

"That sounds like a nice idea, Kenzie." Bucky praised, nodding his head.

Mackenzie shrugged, "It's what I do, Buck." she said.

"Yeah, it's a great idea. I do have some comments though, if you don't mind?" you asked.

Bucky and Mackenzie exchanged glances before turning to you. You glanced at Bucky for a quick second before ignoring the way he was eyeing you with genuine interest.

"I know that bringing in a celebrity to endorse this brand new model would definitely create noise around the partnership. Although I think that would take the spotlight away from the actual product we're creating here. We want customers to focus on the brand new car model and the technology that Wilson Enterprises will be providing it with, not on the celebrity endorser." you explained.

Mackenzie hummed, "I get where you are coming from. That's a good point, actually. But a celebrity endorser will pretty much do everything for the brand. Have him up on billboards and different advertisements and you're all set." she further explained.

You chuckled, "But then how will people understand what the entire partnership is all about? Aren't we supposed to be communicating a certain message to our consumers? Wouldn't it be better to hold an event to launch the product instead? Invite the press and key opinion leaders to spread the word. Have Bucky and Mister Wilson talk about this partnership. They're famous and powerful enough to get the message across. Why waste the budget on a celebrity when we literally have everything we need to make noise?" you shrugged.

The entire room was silent after your feedback, even Mackenzie wasn't able to respond to your suggestion. Glancing over at Bucky, you saw that he was giving you the look-- the one with half-lidded eyes matched with a head tilt, the one that often resulted to him giving you a very nice reward once office hours are over.

Feeling your breath hitch in your throat, you quickly looked away and shrugged your shoulders, "I mean, that's just my two cents. Having worked here for years, I just based it on my experience. You're the expert here, Mackenzie." you offered a proud smile.

Mackenzie tried to brush it off and turned to Bucky, "What do you think, Buck? I'm still into the idea of hiring a celebrity. That's good publicity. And let's not get worried about the budget now," she said, placing a hand on top of Bucky's that was resting on the table, "I have a lot of connections so I can definitely get an endorser for a much lower rate." she reassured.

"We may have a huge budget for this, but that doesn't automatically mean that we have to use it all up. We can allocate it somewhere else, maybe start a CSR campaign as well? We are, after all, coming out with an environmental-friendly model." you suggested.

You heard Bucky when he took a sharp inhale, bringing his hands up to rub his lips as if in deep thought. He then turned to Beverly, however, his eyes remained on you.

"Take note of everything she says." he reminded her before standing up.

He asked everyone else in the room of their opinions, whether it was your or Mackenzie's idea that the company will go for. The team was divided in half, some of them preferring Mackenzie's celebrity pitch probably because they didn't want to do a lot of work.

Bucky nodded, "Well, I guess we'll have to discuss both ideas with my partner Sam and let's see where we will go from there. I have a meeting with him this afternoon, I need you and Kenzie with me there." he said, looking at your before turning to Kenzie with a charming smile.

Don't let them get to you.

-

You've never wanted for the ground to swallow you up until this moment as you stood behind Bucky and Mackenzie in the elevator. This felt so much more uncomfortable than when you shared it with Bucky after swiping right with him on Tinder. There was still tension and it felt so much worse now because you didn't know whether it was between you and Bucky or him and Mackenzie.

Fucking Mackenzie and her nicely manicured nails which always seemed find its way around Bucky's arm. You eyed her hands as they squeezed his arm, the both of them talking in hushed voices as if you weren't standing behind them.

"I've been dying to try this restaurant, I heard they serve good food. Do you want to go have dinner there sometime this week?" she asked Bucky.

"I'll check my schedule, which restaurant is this?" he asked.

When Mackenzie uttered the name of that restaurant where you celebrated your promotion, you and Bucky choked on your own spits at the same time. Warmth crept up to your cheeks at the same time Bucky's ears reddened.

"Oh, what's going on?" Mackenzie asked with a nervous chuckle as she looked at you and Bucky, struggling with your coughs.

You recovered first and shook your head, "Sorry, I get allergies. Anyway, I've been to that restaurant. They do serve good food, the staff was very hospitable as well. I'm sure Bucky would enjoy it there." you said with a smile, pushing your way past them when the elevators door slid open.

Mackenzie asking Bucky whether he was up for dinner was the last thing you heard. Good luck explaining to her why he's banned from there, you thought to yourself.

Bucky led the way to his car and it instantly brought certain memories back. You weren't going to lie, you missed the fucking and how Bucky always made sure to take care of your needs. Seeing his car was enough to make your thighs clench at the memory of him fingering you as he drove.

His gaze was on you when he opened the door to the passenger's seat, his eyes inviting as you approached him. And just as when you were about to slip in, he turned over to Mackenzie and gestured for her to get in.

What a fucking asshole, you thought to yourself as you took a step back to ride in the back instead. You tried to keep your expression stoic when you saw that Bucky checked for a reaction. He seemed perplexed when he saw that you didn't react that much to what he did.

One hundred points to Gryffindor.

-

The location for the meeting was at a nearby restaurant so you didn't suffer that much during the entire ride. Mackenzie was busy with her phone anyway, typing out messages with those manicured fingers you were beginning to hate.

By the time all three of you arrived, Sam was already there. He donned a navy blue suit and he was rocking it. You'd seen his photos on the internet and knew that he was good-looking, but seeing him in the flesh, you were stunned at how gorgeous he was. Sam stood up when he saw Bucky, offering a kind smile to you and Mackenzie.

You weren't sure whether you were just being assuming or what, but you noticed how his eyes lingered on you longer that it did with Mackenzie.

"Sam." Bucky greeted, shaking his hand before introducing you and Mackenzie.

Sam shook Mackenzie's hand first before he turned to you. You took his hand and introduced yourself, "Mister Wilson." you said.

"Please, just Sam." he told you as he gently squeezed your hand before letting go.

"Have a seat." Sam said to Bucky and Mackenzie before pulling out the chair next to him, motioning for you to sit down.

You thanked him and sat down; straightening up, you were met with Bucky's watchful gaze as he sat down across you. Your attention was taken away when Sam asked what you wanted to order, he even suggested a certain dish and immediately went to discuss that it was his favorite thing to order.

This was going to be an interesting meeting.

And interesting it truly was, because you didn't expect for Sam to be so laid-back and easy to communicate with. He wasn't one of those uptight CEOs who were very intimidating to work with. Simply put, he was the complete opposite of Bucky. While Bucky was ice cold, Sam was sunshine and warmth with his attitude.

When it came down to pitching your and Mackenzie's ideas to him, you suddenly got nervous. Sam wasn't born with a silver spoon in his mouth; from what you've read, he started off working regular jobs before he climbed his way to the top. He was a self-made man and he had extensive knowledge in the marketing industry, having a doctorate degree in the said area.

Mackenzie was the first to discuss her strategy about hiring a celebrity endorser. She said it was fast and straight to the point. When it was your turn, you started off a bit shaky but eventually found your pacing.

"We wanted to ask you how this should go on about. I know that the offer for a partnership came from our end and that we're supposed to pitch the details for it. But we wanted you to be involved in this as much as we are." Bucky further explained.

Sam nodded and let out an amused chuckle, "I really appreciate this, Buck. I was going to ask you if I can contribute with the planning as well. I'm very particular when it comes to marketing our products." he said.

"That being said, I loved both ideas. I think hiring a celebrity endorser is good." he said, making Mackenzie smile proudly.

"But I would rather hold an event to launch the product. You understand the product and what we want to do with it. It's not just a brand new car, it's an innovation and the messaging is very important. I'm very impressed." Sam said, his attention geared towards you.

"Wow, I'm honored." you laughed. "Coming from you, I mean I've read about the marketing studies you did. Pretty big deal to receive a compliment from you." you admitted.

It was meant to be a genuine reaction, really. You had no ill intentions for it, you didn't do it to make Bucky jealous or get the upper hand. However, your passion for your career and area of expertise seemed to favor you. It had Bucky on edge, seeing you and Sam get along so well.

You didn't even need to check for Bucky's reaction because he simply cleared his throat and excused himself to go to the restroom. Mackenzie seemed unbothered though, when Sam favored your pitch over hers. You couldn't read her, sometimes she'd come off competitive but right now, she was unaffected.

When Bucky got back, he was quick to finalize the meeting, "I guess it's a done deal then. We'll work on the details of the launch and maybe we can set another meeting for the major presentation for your approval?" he asked Sam.

"That sounds like a plan. I'm looking forward to working with you." Sam told everyone, although he did seem to be directly addressing you.

"Alright, I'm leaving too." Mackenzie announced after Sam left the restaurant.

"Oh, you're not heading back to the office with us?" Bucky asked.

Mackenzie shook her head, throwing her bag over her shoulder, "I have another meeting. You know how it is with freelance work." she said as all three of you stood up to head outside of the restaurant.

"My Uber's here, I guess I'll see you both sometime this week." she said and waved at you before turning to Bucky and pressing a kiss on his cheek.

"I'm counting on that dinner, okay?" she reminded before slipping into her Uber, leaving you and Bucky to head back to the office together.

Alone with Bucky. In his car. The exact same car where plenty of fucking happened. Again, you chanted Mark’s advice in your head over and over again.

Don’t let Bucky get to you. And most of all, don’t cave in.

You quickly slipped inside the front seat of Bucky’s car before he could even open it up for you. The air was thick between you and Bucky and it almost felt like it was suffocating you. Reaching for the seatbelt, you tugged at it but it wouldn’t budge. Cursing to yourself, you tried again but to no avail.

“What’s wrong?” Bucky asked.

“Nothing. Seatbelt’s just stuck.” you grunted, using both your hands to pull down at it.

“Here, let me.”

Suddenly, Bucky reached over to your seatbelt and tried to fix it. His face was inches away from yours and you literally felt your insides jump at how you were immediately drowned in his perfume. If you moved forward so much as half an inch, your lips would already be pressing against the corner of Bucky’s mouth. And that thought was sending your senses into overdrive.

Do not. Cave. In.

The loud click of the seatbelt made you relax and thank goodness that Bucky was quick to move away from you, fixing his suit before starting the engine. The office may just be nearby but the fact that you and Bucky were together was making it feel like it was going to be an hour-long drive.

“So what do you think about Sam?” Bucky asked out of the blue.

He was gauging you, trying to get a reaction from you. Maybe he was expecting you to be flirty with your response, or be defensive even? You weren’t going to give him that.

“I think he’s great. Like I said, I’ve read his marketing studies and they were very insightful. I learned a lot.”

Plain, simple and safe. There was no hidden meanings and no malice; you were doing great at this whole not letting Bucky get to you thing. You made a mental note to thank Mark for his advice.

“He seems interested in you.” Bucky said again, shrugging his shoulders a bit and trying to be as nonchalant as he could.

“Well we are in the same field of expertise and I was very straightforward about admiring his skills. I’d be disappointed if he brushed off my ideas.” you slightly chuckled.

“I liked Mackenzie’s idea better, honestly.” Bucky blurted out.

By this time, you had Bucky’s plans figured out. He was coming for your job, using it as a bait to get a reaction out from you. He knew how much your career meant for you, how competitive you were in your field. Whenever his other tactics wouldn’t work, he’d always go for the career aspect.

“It was good.” you agreed, turning to Bucky with a small smile. “I think we can do that for other campaigns. Just not with this partnership. I like her.” you said.

“You do?” Bucky asked in surprise before he cleared his throat upon realizing that he sort of broke his facade.

You shrugged, “She’s a headstrong woman. She reminds me of myself actually.”

If you were alone, you would have given yourself a high-five because that statement truly made Bucky think. His forehead creased as he drove, his hand rubbing his chin and his jaw clenching as if he was in deep thought.

It was silent inside the car for a brief moment, before it was interrupted by the trilling of Bucky’s phone. He fished it out of his pocket but before he could even answer it, it slipped out of his hand and disappeared beneath his seat.

“Fuck.” Bucky cursed, both his hands on the steering wheel as he continued to drive, his attention divided between driving and searching for his ringing phone.

“Shit.” he hissed again, not knowing how to get his phone while driving. He quickly glanced at you before focusing on the road again. “Baby, can you get it for me?”

You almost missed the term of endearment. Almost. It was obviously a slip of the tongue because he genuinely didn’t seem to realize that he called you that. Bucky was more focused on the road rather than processing what he just said. You chose to ignore it the same way you did to the butterflies that erupted in your stomach.

“Yeah, okay.” you said and reached over to him, bending down to look for his phone.

In a split second, your face was right in front of Bucky’s crotch as you tried to reach beneath his car seat. You tried to ignore the bulge that was staring right at you and let your hand do the searching.

“Can you reach it?” Bucky asked.

You straightened up, “No. Can you pull aside?” you asked.

Bucky checked the surroundings and then the rearview mirror, “We can’t. We’re at a no loading and unloading zone.” he explained.

The phone continues to trill and it doesn’t seem like it would stop any time now. You sighed and removed your seatbelt before stretching your body over Bucky, slipping underneath his arms on the steering wheel so you can fully reach under his seat.

From another car’s view, you looked like you were giving him a blowjob. Not that you haven’t done that before, in this same car.

Finally, you felt his phone at the tip of your fingers and stretched further, your free hand coming to grip Bucky’s thigh unintentionally. It was only when you felt his muscles flex beneath his trousers that you realized how near your hand was to his crotch.

“Did you,” Bucky cleared his throat. “Did you get it?” he stammered.

You still have a certain effect on him, how very nice. Biting back a smirk, you hummed in response before pulling back and then handing him his phone casually. Mackenzie’s name was flashing on the screen as the phone continued to ring.

“Sorry, can you answer it and put it on speakerphone?” Bucky asked again.

You shrugged and did as you were told, holding the phone near Bucky as he continued to drive.

“Hey, Kenzie. Sorry, I dropped my phone. What’s up?” Bucky asked.

“Yeah, so my meeting got cancelled at the last minute. I was thinking maybe we can grab that dinner tonight instead?”

Bucky stole a quick glance from you but your face remained stoic, your hand steady as you held out his phone.

“Sure, how does around 7pm sound? I can pick you up.” Bucky offered.

“Sounds great. So are we checking that restaurant I was talking about?”

Bucky’s ears turned red again but he quickly recovered, “I was thinking of trying out a different one. I honestly didn’t like their dessert.”

Huh, that was weird. You and Bucky didn’t even make it to--

Fuck, he was talking about you, you realized. Clenching your jaw, you tried to keep calm. He was trying to get a rise out of you, don’t give in. Don’t react. Bucky’s conversation with Mackenzie didn’t last long and ended when they settled the location for their dinner.

The ride back to the office was quiet again, until your phone lit up from a notification. Bucky was already parking in the basement when you checked your phone, an audible gasp slipping past your lips upon reading the notification from LinkedIn.

Samuel Wilson wants to connect with you.

-

The Match Special Tags:

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[stanurines1mp]

His Fault

Pairing: Satoru Gojo x Fem!Reader (she/her)

type: pure angst

an: i know this isn't aot and on wattpad, its posted in my aot book but whatever. anyways, here's my first oneshot of Toru and uh, it's just pain, isn't it. have fun reading lmfao. im more focused on a Satoru fanfic rn tho. follow my Tumblr for more content tho. same user as here. any requests, let me know :)

warnings: manga spoilers for Gojo's past arc, death, mentions of blood, pure painful angst. pretty sure that's it but let me know if i missed any :)

~~~

Satoru knew it was his fault the first time he lost you. He had so many chances, so many opportunities to make you permanently his but not once did he take it.

Satoru remembered the day he met you. It was just a typical day for him. He didn't expect that day to be the day he met you. The day he met such a sweet angel.

That was another thing. Never did he expect to have fallen for someone like you.

Someone normal.

Because he, Satoru Gojo, the world's most powerful sorcerer (or at least he will be), fell in love with a normal schoolgirl.

Your father owned a cafe and on the evenings after school, you'd often visit him to assist him in anything he needed. But most of the time, you would take a table, the furthest one from everyone else, and begin doing your work.

You liked the surrounding of the cafe. There weren't too many people that it was hectic and packed, but there weren't too few people that it became sad for your father's business. It was just the perfect amount of customers.

You weren't really a people person but you do enjoy people watching. You found it quite interesting looking at the customers coming in and out of the shop.

And you certainly found them interesting.

On that one day, you were busy finishing up your homework.

Seated at the furthest table from everyone to avoid being a disturbance to the business, papers and books were sprawled out on the table, a cup of tea and a plate of Danish pastry accompanying you.

You heard the bell letting out a short ring, an indication that a new customer had arrived. Every time the bell sounded, your head would perk up from the pile of papers to see the figures arriving. That day, you saw two tall boys, probably around your age, coming in.

They wore top matching jackets, their pants the same color but of a different style. The boy with the messy white hair had slim tight pants while the boy with the dark hair had baggy style pants.

The white-haired boy wore a pair of sunglasses, covering your field of vision from seeing his eyes. The dark-haired boy had long hair, half of it tied up in a bun. His eyes were small, slightly overshadowed by his bangs.

Even from that view, you could tell they were both very handsome. They had lean, tall figures, slim and slender. Although, the white-haired boy was taller than the other one.

There was something rather intriguing about them. Like a magnetic force, causing you to almost get captured by their essence.

Going by your nature, you turned your head back to your work, trying to finish it as soon as you can. But going against your nature, you couldn't help but lose focus on your work, instead, you were hung up on the two figures.

"Let's get the cheesecake, some macarons- Oh! Strudels! Let's get peach, apple? Yeah, let's get the apple. Hmm, that chocolate roll looks good. We'll get that, too," the white-haired one excitedly pointed. "You?"

"I'll just take some of yours," he gently let out.

"Okay, then. Oh, strawberry shortcake! I love those. Let's get one," the boy giggled while clapping excitedly.

You could imagine the shocked look on your father's face when the man declined his desserts to be boxed as a to-go. The imagined sight of your father made you want to giggle. You had to suppress yourself from bursting into a fit of laughter as to not gain attention to yourself.

After paying, the boys made their way to find a table. You prayed and prayed that they would sit at a table a little further away from you.

But the universe was not on your side that day because they chose to sit at the table right next to yours. You tried ignoring their presence but God, what the fuck was up with them and why the fuck can't you focus on this stupid work?

"You sure you don't want anything else, Suguru?" The white-haired teen asked.

"Yeah, I'm still full," the other boy replied.

The white-haired boy had a voice more teasing and giggly compared to the dark-haired boy. Either way, you found yourself unable to continue your work.

To pair with your empty plate that once held a pastry, you emptied your cup by taking a long sip of your tea. You let out a sigh of frustration before standing up, the empty plate and cup in your hands.

As you stood up to walk towards the counter, you felt two pairs of eyes boring onto your figure, following your movements. You tried your best to ignore it, hoping it was only just your imagination. You contemplated whether or not to grab a little bit more food since your work was far from done.

"Honey, can you send these to those boys over there?" Your father asked, showing you a tray full of desserts.

"Alright," you nodded, putting down your empty plate in exchange for the tray.

God, oh God, why?

Nevertheless, you brought the tray, making your way to the table of teens. A smile was formed on your complexion for hospitality as you gracefully walked to the boys.

Upon your arrival, the white-haired teen excitedly perked up, a wide smile on his pale complexion. He excitedly clapped as you placed the plates in between the two boys. The light-haired boy had taken off his sunglasses, allowing you a view of his pair of eyes.

And oh Lord, you had never seen blue eyes as beautiful as his.

"I thought you were a customer," the dark-haired teen spoke. You assumed his name was Suguru based on before.

"Oh no, my father owns the shop," you kindly explained with a sweet tone.

"Lucky," the white-haired boy said.

After that day, you found your days being filled with their presence. For a whole week, day after day after day, they keep coming back. And each time, they'd take the table nearest to you.

Until finally, they built up their courage to ask you for your name and proper introductions were made.

Satoru was honestly surprised with himself at how he behaved in getting to know you. Normally, Satoru had no struggle when it came to charming girls. With his good looks and witty personality, it came easy to him.

But with you, he found himself shying away.

Especially when he learned the truth of his best friend.

At the point when Satoru knew Suguru's secret, the three of you had been friends for more than a year. You were part of their friend group too, now.

Since you were just a normal person, curses and the Jujutsu world were something of the unknown to you. At first, they weren't sure if they should tell you but even so, they would easily exorcise any curses that dared neared you.

When they finally told you the truth, it took quite some time for you to believe them. Because seriously, curses and magic? Sounded like a bullshit prank Satoru would pull.

But when you were truly convinced of it, things started to make more sense. And your friendship with them only grew stronger.

But alongside friendship, something else grew.

You found yourself looking forward to the day after school when you'd be at the cafe and soon, both Satoru and Suguru would walk in, taking their seats by your table.

You found yourself loving how Satoru would shower you with flirtatious compliments, often leaving you to be a blushing mess.

But you knew not to get too attached to a non-existent deeper meaning of his actions. Because you've seen the way girls act around him and vice versa.

Satoru was a player and though you have fantasized about being with him, you knew he didn't feel the same for you.

But Suguru was a different case.

He was always a gentleman, with his sweet voice and caring actions. It wasn't that Satoru was a bad guy, it was just that he never looked at you the same way you always looked at him.

Or so you thought.

Because ever since he stepped foot in your father's cafe, all Satoru could think about was getting to know you. He had no idea what it was but there was something about you that pulled his attention.

It wasn't just that he thought you were extremely beautiful, it was more than that. Because of that strange feeling, Satoru didn't immediately hit on you like he would with anyone else.

He wanted to actually get to know you. And when he did get to know you, Satoru was sure he was head over fucking heels in love with you.

And Satoru never wondered about his self-worth. But you always made him question himself.

Was he good enough of a man to be with you?

He finally realized that even if he wasn't good enough, he would do whatever he could to be the best for you. To be the man you deserved. He was ready to confess, to let you know the feelings he'd kept secret from you and Suguru.

But then Suguru's own secret became truth to him.

"Can I tell you something?" Suguru once asked Satoru in the middle of the night when the outside world had gone to sleep but he couldn't because his mind was kept awake with thoughts of you.

The same could be said for Satoru but Suguru held no knowledge of that.

"What's up?"

"I'm in love with Y/N," Suguru confessed to his best friend.

At that moment, Satoru experienced his first heartbreak.

His best friend was in love with the girl he loved.

And the worst thing was that Suguru was a much better man than Satoru ever could be.

Satoru loved his best friend but he sometimes found himself envious of Suguru. Suguru was kind and basically just fucking perfect.

Suguru was the blueprint of the man you deserved in life. He could give you the type of life you wanted. A family, white picket fence, loving home life.

Compared to Suguru, Gojo knew he was incomparable when it came to your love.

So for years, Satoru watched as his two best friends fell in love with each other.

That was the first time Satoru lost you.

When he took too long to realize that he was willing to be the best version of himself for you. It took him too long to realize that you were the girl of his dreams. It took him too long and now, he lost you.

When Suguru first told you the truth about his feelings, you weren't truly sure what you felt. Of course, you knew he was a good person and he would treat you well. And it wasn't that you didn't feel the same. It was just that you also felt the same for Satoru.

But again, you knew Satoru could never reciprocate.

So why would you waste someone as good as Suguru for a person who could never love you?

You and Suguru had so many great days, lasting years. You loved him just as he loved you. You both always tried your best not to exclude Satoru because he was still your best friend alongside Suguru.

Satoru tried his best to let go of his feelings for you. He always reminded himself that you were with Suguru.

Of course, Gojo would never do anything to ruin your relationship with Geto. Because he saw how happy you were with Geto.

You always wore a smile when you'd greet them both, a quick peck on the lips for Geto and a quick tight hug for Satoru.

But even though your greeting hugs were quick, they were warm, always leaving your scent lingering on his shirt.

And Satoru adored it. He adored you.

Satoru knew that that was his fault.

And he knew what happened next was also his fault.

It started when Geto and Gojo were assigned the confidential mission of protecting the Star-Plasma Vessel. It was work that needed to be done discreetly, not something that came as hard for Satoru and his best friend. Things were going so well and they managed to almost get the girl to the safety of Master Tengen's barrier.

But fate was not on their side that day.

The young girl died.

Her death took a heavy toll on both Satoru and Suguru. Your partner was the one accompanying the girl when the ostracized man of the Zenin clan shot her in the head. Suguru blamed himself for not being able to protect her when it was his responsibility.

They returned back home, searching for you and your comfort. You had no idea regarding the details but you knew it wasn't good. Because Satoru was silent the whole time, something completely out of his character.

You hoped that your consolement was good enough for them.

Unfortunately, your comfort only truly reached one of them.

After they graduated from their school, Satoru was assigned more missions compared to Geto since he was the man he meant to be; the world's most powerful sorcerer.

He hated that.

He hated being that.

He just wanted to be yours.

But one day, Suguru went to see you.

His face was not the one that you first saw on him the day of your first meeting.

It was different. Heartbroken. Traumatized.

When you asked what happened, he told you that a junior of his had died. The whole night, you let him stay within the confines of your arms. You made sure to let him know how much you loved him.

But since that day, there was something rather dark within his once kind eyes. You didn't know what it was but it scared you.

You talked to Satoru about it and even he noticed the slight changes in his best friend. But neither he nor you could pinpoint what it was.

And it tortured you to see the man you loved being so troubled and there was nothing you could do for him.

Satoru had just gotten back from a mission alone. He was exhausted and the news that greeted his arrival was not one he expected at all.

"You're fucking kidding," he scoffed, humor lacking in between his words.

"Unfortunately, it's true," Yaga disappointedly looked down. "One hundred and twelve non-sorcerors, dead. All massacred at the hands of Suguru Geto."

That was his second heartbreak.

Losing his best friend to the dark side.

Because he was too blinded by the responsibility of being the strongest, he couldn't help Suguru.

It was his fault.

Everything felt like they were his fault.

"We think he might be going after non-sorcerors," Yaga informed grimly.

No.

Satoru felt panic rushing throughout his entire being.

No, God, please, no.

Not non-sorcerors.

Because you were a non-sorceror.

And you were in Suguru's life.

No.

He would never. Right?

Satoru was almost sure that Geto would never hurt you.

Almost was the right word, indeed.

Because as Satoru ran into your house, your name leaving his lips in panicked screams, you were lying on the floor, tears bleeding out of your eyes. Satoru couldn't keep away the tears overflowing his eyes at the sight of you.

The love of his life was dying.

And it was his fault.

His fault because he couldn't save you from his best friend.

His fault because he couldn't save his best friend from the dark side.

His fault, his fault, his fault.

"No, no, no, no, Y/N, stay with me," he cried, carefully cradling you into his arms.

He didn't want to worsen your injuries, scared that he'd lose you straight away. You were crying, hating yourself for everything that happened.

The blood that seeped out of your body was staining Satoru's uniform but he didn't care.

How could he care if you were there on the verge of dying?

He was ready to teleport you to the school, have Shoko use her reversal technique on you but you stopped him.

"Don't," you hiccuped.

"What? Y/N, I'll get you safe," he shook his head but your hold on his arm tightened to gain his attention.

"Please don't. It's no use, Toru," you cried, nose sniffling from the tears and blood.

"I can save you. Shoko will cure you-"

"I don't want her to," you shook your head. "Let me die, Toru, please," you begged, blinking hard as tears fell.

You begged for him to let you die.

How could he ever agree to that?

Why would he ever agree to a life lacking your presence?

But he did.

Because you asked him.

You asked him because you were scared to live.

You asked him because in the moments before his arrival, the only thing clouding your mind was the darkness held within your partner's eyes as he ran a dagger through your stomach.

You knew Geto wouldn't stop, no matter what, to get what he wanted.

And he wanted to kill you.

You saw that.

He wanted to kill you.

And you were scared to live, always running, looking over your shoulder.

So you wanted to die.

And you knew it hurt, but you had to ask Satoru to do that.

"I'm sorry. It was my fault, I'm so sorry," Satoru cried, his large palm caressing your tired face.

"It's okay, Toru."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so fucking sorry. I should-"

"I love you," you whispered.

In your final moments, you had to let him know.

The secret you kept in your heart after all these years, you had to let it out.

Even as you loved Suguru, you never stopped loving Satoru.

And you wondered if maybe Suguru knew that.

You wondered if you deserved to die at his hands because you had your heart parted.

Either way, you had to tell Satoru.

"I've always loved you," you smiled weakly.

"What?"

"I know you don't feel the same, but I just had to let you know," you sadly let out, finding his hand in yours.

"I love you," he replied, crying before he pressed his lips against yours.

You kissed back immediately, finding home in the confines of his arms and lips.

"Thank you for coming into my life, Satoru," you whispered, your last words replaying in his head as he held you tightly in his arms while you let out your last breath.

That was the second time he lost you.

This time, permanently.

His third heartbreak.

If only he hadn't come into your life, you'd still be alive.

He was the one who wanted to try that cafe.

He was the one who wanted to sit next to you because he thought you were just the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen.

It was him.

And it was his fault for you knowing Suguru.

His fault.

Everything bad that ever happened, Satoru realized, had been his fault.

[lumin3sc3]

𝐒𝐓𝐔𝐃𝐘𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐔𝐒!

Studying with Marius is an activity that you're sure to enjoy.

Warnings: None! (Slight cursing maybe, nothing explicit.)

Note: I think I had too much fun making this fic, because the word count is way too much lmfao. Sorry about that btw, idk how I managed to make it so long. (Clearly isn't a biased thing I swear-)

Extra: Read the first part to this here ! If you want to check out the same type of fanfic, but with Artem, check it out here !

You mustered up your almost non-existent courage to go and talk to the indigo-haired boy sitting a few meters away from you.

Ah , we should introduce the main protagonist of the story, yes?

Marius von Hagen… You’d be living under a rock if you hadn’t heard about this lovely young gentleman. He’s known for his charming looks and endearing words that can make any man or woman fall at his feet! He’s also got the brains as well, and word has it that he’s handling the world-renowned company PAX, which was handled by his older brother Giann formerly. And he’s quite the "popular guy" at your school as well. (Or Uni, depending on where the story is set:))

You’re close to him, but you don’t know if that’s a good thing or not. You’re usually the one that gets handed the pretty pink letters tipped with lovely perfume and small gifts. Oh- you thought it was for you? Nono, it’s for… Marius.

You’d be lying if you said you didn’t cringe inside just a bit when you saw the way the girls rambled on and on about him to you, and threatened to chop your liver (what?) if you didn’t hand it to him. You’d grit your teeth and nod before giving a half-hearted smile and telling the girl to politely fuck off go away.

Anyways, now that we’re done with the introductions, let’s continue the story, shall we?

You take a deep breath before walking towards him.

"Stay calm, stay calm." You breathe to yourself. Yes, he’s your friend, but talking to him is harder than passing your exams. which is pretty hard.

You walk up to him and stand in front of him, waiting for him to look up from the book he is engrossed in.

"…” You stay put, not wanting to crush your confidence and do the walk of shame back to your seat. You could almost feel the ego seeping out of him. Your eyes glared at him in such an intense manner that could bore holes into the book that he held.

He averted his gaze and put a hand to his mouth in an attempt to stop his snickering.

"Oho~! It looks like someone’s in need of help. So what is it? " He teases you with a shit-eating grin.

“I need your… help to study.” You grumble under your breath, gritting your teeth.

"Oh? What was that? Sorry I can’t hear you. You’re a bit too quiet. "

This man was asking to get slapped across the face.

"I SAID-,"

"Quiet! You two are in the library, may I remind you! " The grumpy librarian who held her hair in a loose bun yelled at you in a hushed angry whisper, her slender finger over her lips as she did so.

You roll your eyes. Great, now you’ve got the attention of the other students who were also in the library, and some of the girls who were formerly uninterested now stared in your direction, not in a friendly manner. You’re affirmative of that. You could hear the light stabbing of compasses and the aggressive clicking of pens from afar, which made you slightly shiver in your place.

You inhale, "I needed your help! If you don’t want to help, then whatever! I’ll just tell Sir Zhongli that SOMEONE decided to not help me. " You huff as you cross your arms and glare at him angrily.

He laughs to himself slightly before putting the velvet-encased book on the table with utmost care, "Yes yes , I get the idea. But before that, would you mind telling me what you’re struggling with? It’s not to tease, I just need to arrange accordingly! "

Yeah right, you've known him for god knows how long now. You’re positive it’s for him to tease the hell out of you. But regardless, you sit and explain what you're struggling with and what’s bothering you as well. He occasionally nods and lets out a hum, as if creating a mental mind map of what you’re talking about. Soon, he sets a time and date and tells you to come accordingly.

It's the next day, and you rush as quickly as you can to the location you and Marius had agreed on; he said it's fine to study in his house because no one who lived there would mind, though you thought it was disrespectful, but he said otherwise.

As you ran towards his abode, you got curious looks from many people. You don’t know if it’s because of your flustered appearance or the fact that you’re going towards Marius’ place.

Before you enter his house, you smooth down the creases on your clothes and fix your hair,patting your cheeks in an affirmative and comforting manner.

As soon as Marius sees you walking in, he rushes towards you and pulls you into a warm embrace without giving you time to react. You are left stunned and embarrassed, as light scarlet rises from your neck to your cheeks slowly. You swear you could see his assistant and butler smiling slightly as they witnessed you and Marius having an intimate moment.

Marius snickers, seeing your widened eyes as he pulls away from you, "Glad you could make it, (y/n)!" Let’s go to the library, shall we? "

Dang, you knew this guy was rich , but holy lord, a library? I mean, what did you expect? He’s the CEO of a large company, and he’s rich as hell. You subconsciously looked at your clothes. Was it fine to dress so casually?

It was as if Marius sensed your slight worry as he shot you a small compliment , "Nice outfit you got there, (color) matches you really well!" You mumbled a thank you as you felt the tips of your ears reddening.

As you walked down the hallway, you admired the marbled flooring and the beautiful canvases of paintings; some were Marius's works as well. Vases were filled with colourful and bright flowers that filled the room with delicate scents.

As Marius opened the redwood doors that led to the library, your eyes widened in astonishment. Endless rows filled with books in all sorts of books, colorful, vivid, and color-coded. The shelves were many and reached high above. You inhaled the scent of the papers of books as you felt a sense of content and happiness bubbling from your chest. (The smell of freshly printed paper and books is just-). You could hear your footsteps lightly thudding on the hardwood floor as you made your way to the large table that was polished and looked like it was made from the finest of woods, which you were sure that it was. You saw parchments , stacks of books and sheets laying messily on the table, some of which you deemed to be familiar with. It seems as though these were study materials.

As if answering your doubtful gaze, Marius rubs his neck sheepishly and grins, "I did some research on different methods of studying."

You raised an eyebrow at him curiously. He went through so much effort just to ease the stress on you? It was something you thought was plausible , yet he doesn’t seem…

"-well, it’s not that I care or whatever! I just wanted to get it over with! " He tries to argue with light pink dusted on his cheeks.

"I never said anything to begin with, Marius." You said as you took a seat, beckoning him to sit near you.

And soon the excruciating pain began, as Marius pulled out a thick book that held a substantial amount of paper in small lettering. You groaned loudly as he pushed the book towards you.

As much as it was a pain to study so much,he did put a lot of effort into it. He went through the different types of studying methods, as he did not know which ones you preferred, so you were kept on your toes, as one moment he would bring a large book with small lettering and theories, and then the next he would have colourful and vivid diagrams of many shapes and sizes. as well as physical models and much more. You’d be lying to yourself if you didn’t make it seem like learning physics was fun. It kept you intrigued and striving to keep going. You did wonder though, he must have put in a lot of effort to work everything out for you.

You were so engrossed in the book in front of you that you failed to notice the navy-haired boy quietly snoring in deep slumber.

You peek up from your book, slightly lowering it to see his delicate frame.

As you could see small specs of dust floating around, small rays of sunshine filtered through his long eyelashes as his frame rose and fell rhythmically. You could hear light snoring as well. His indigo hair fell on his frame so delicately, and his lips were slightly open. His alluring lilac eyes could be seen slightly. The setting made him look ethereal, and you wished this was a sight only you could see. It is truly a sight to behold.

Your gaze on him softens. The boy soon jerks awake, looking around frantically. You pat him in a comforting manner as you slightly laugh, "What’s up?" You slept already? "

"Aww! Were you staring at my beautiful handsome face? I must admit I’m way too good-looking. " He tells himself, plastering a smug look on his face.

"In fact, yes, you look quite charming when you’re asleep." You giggle quietly.

Not expecting such a response from you, the young boy looks away, flustered, as crimson red flushes his face.

"Thank you for putting this all together, by the way. I know you said you don’t care, but I feel like you put a lot of effort into helping me feel as comfortable as possible. Don’t think your efforts were in vain. I really appreciate it, Marius. " You smile at him happily as you gently take his hands in yours and squeeze them affirmatively.

Marius stumbles on his words as he gives you an answer, "I-uhm...y-you’re welcome. I just wanted to make sure you didn’t feel like you were doing a chore, and rather enjoy it. "

His flustered state does not last long though, as he soon leans in closer, "After all, you do mean a lot to me~! "

His crystalline lavender eyes gaze into yours lovingly. He’s probably the prettiest thing you’ve ever seen. His face was as pretty as a picture, his hair softer than the clouds, and his lips soft and lovely like the petals of a rose. His face was as if the angels had bestowed it upon him. Delicate, caring, gentle, and charming.

What more could you ask for?

You close the gap between you two as you press a small kiss onto his soft and endearing lips. As your lips connected, you could feel a rush of electricity pass through your body as your body soon turned extremely warm.

You pull back, completely flustered as dark pink tints your face. The same could be said for the boy as well. His former cocky personality has now dissipated into thin air.

"Thank you… for helping me out. And being a great friend. " Your heart yearned for something more than friends, perhaps companions? Or partners? The covetous feeling that you felt in the depths of your heart when you got letters claiming love for Marius was undeniable, yet you would never act upon it, nor admit it.

"You’re welcome! Just ask me if you need anything at all. I am someone special to you after all~! "

You sigh helplessly. I guess his flirty personality will always flow in his veins, and you don't think it’ll stop anytime soon. Not that you mind it, though.

As you walk out of his house and bid him farewell, he quickly pecks a kiss on your cheek, "Goodbye! See you tomorrow!"

You walk out with a hand on your cheek, as you mumble about complete nonsense. As the boy smiles happily and content with himself,

Perhaps the feeling of yearning for something more is mutual after all, hm?

✧∘* ೃ ⋆｡˚

[mqnasluvr]

skinship headcanons | genshin impact

pairings; jean x gn!reader, amber x gn!reader, albedo x gn!reader

mentioned; kaeya, lisa, huffman, sucrose

warnings; suggestive themes ( jean ), all lowercase, not proofread

word count; 1.7k but half of it is albedo

jean

jean is not the touchiest person out there, but she does enjoy holding you. not too big on pda either; the most you’ll get out of her in public is maybe a quick smooch on the cheek and hand holding🛐 other than that, shes quite reserved.

her hugs are very comforting, but the first couple of times it was awkward on her part. she was used to giving barbara and klee hugs, but this was different. she wasn’t sure where to put her arms, and if anything she got more frustrated the more she hesitated.

once she grows accustomed to it, she’ll be fine. she enjoys the warmth and innocence of hugs, especially if you’re taller than her.

like i said, in public she isnt very touchy. while running errands she does keep you close though, and enjoys holding your hand more and anything.

behind closed doors shes a little bit bolder, but still shy overall. she’s not sure if she’s moving too fast for you so she waits until you initiate any type of physical contact, then takes it from there herself. it took her a long time before she managed to get the courage to kiss you tbh

one time when you two were in her office, amber walked in on you “distracting” jean from her work.

“y/n, i have to get back to work, please,” jean adverted her eyes from your gaze, embarrassed. she kept looking at the door, mentally asking herself if the door was locked or not and getting more nervous as the seconds passed.

you sat straddled on the young womans lap, her hands loosely placed on your hips. holding her face in your hands, you guided her face back to yours. “you work for way too long,” you frowned. “and i’m bored. there’s nothing to do in here.”

“the library is just across the hall—“

“if i read another book my brain will implode.” jean sighed and shook her head.

“please indulge in me just this once? please jean?” she stared at you blankly, her resolve quickly deteriorating. a couple of kisses couldn’t hurt, could it? she looked up at the clock in the corner of the room, then back at you.

sighing for the umpteenth time that day, she nodded. “just for a little while-“

before she could finish speaking, you pressed your lips to hers hurriedly, not wanting to waste any time. jean barely ever separated herself from her work, and refused to accept help from anyone else. you almost never had time alone with the acting grand master— you weren’t going to miss your chance now.

the kiss was not heated whatsoever, just very.. clumsy. and needy. on your part, at least. jean tried her best to slow you down, gripping your hips as her face heated up.

“jean, lisa needs you for somethi- oh,” amber nearly dropped the papers in her hands, immediately covering her eyes with it instead. you whipped your head around and stared at the girl wide-eyed before she spoke up again. “d-did i come at a bad time? i am so sorry, i’ll um. i’ll go now.”

jean couldnt look her in the eyes for WEEKS

it was painful

but overall, she likes physical affection, shes just nervous :,)

amber

amber LOVES touching you!! she’s 100% okay with pda. she isnt as forward as maybe kaeya or lisa, but she’s still rather bold. sometimes she forgets youre in public too, which ends up drawing a lot of attention to the both of you.

when you two go out on dates she is always touching you. hand in hand, arm around waist, whatever. theres always some type of physical contact, no matter what.

it’s so PAINFULLY obvious that you two are dating but for some reason she didn’t think that anyone knew ?? one time huffman saw yall kissing in an alleyway u really aren’t slick🤨

she loves cheek and forehead kisses, but likes receiving them more than giving really. shes a hyper one, and these kisses fluster her enough to make her quiet down. ( it’s so cute )

she often picks you up to hug you, spinning you both around in circles in an almost bone crushing hug. other than those times her hugs are really soft, but the energy is still there. ^^

have i mentioned that she is affectionate?? because she really is. she does respect your boundaries though, but if you feel uncomfortable you’re going to have to speak up on it because she won’t notice.

in private her clinginess is amplified by 10.

“i’m trying to cook, amber,” you mumbled, struggling to stir the paste sauce in the pot. all you were trying to do was make dinner for the two of you, but around 5 minutes ago she came up behind you and wrapped her arms around your arms and torso. you could feel her bury her face further into your back.

“mhm, and it smells really good too,” she hummed. you groaned, and she just giggled.

“i’ll be done in like, 20 minutes, amber. you can hug barron bunny in the meantime,” you tried to pry her arms off of you but she started whining.

“that’s too long.”

“no, it isnt,” you turned around with a spoonful of pasta sauce, motioning for her to open her mouth. she slurped the sauce and gave you a thumbs up.

“see? its good, right? well it wont get much better if you keep clinging to me so much,” she stayed quiet, but at least loosened her arms around you so that it was easier to move. you lightly patted her hand. “thank you.”

“whateverrr,” she drawled, and you couldnt help but laugh.

the pasta was in fact very good

in the end, shes the exact opposite of jean, and youll need to slow her down a lot :,)

albedo

as far as physical contact goes, it’s literally the last thing you will ever find on his mind. he’s too caught up with other things to think about physical affection

he does love you yes, but he doesnt show it through physical means. he does more gift giving, like when he sees a pretty flower that reminds him of you while going out to find starsilver shards.

if you want a hug or anything out of him you’re going to have to initiate it first— it’s foreign territory, and it’s not something he’s particularly interested in, so he doesnt feel the need to indulge in it

however the first time you two cuddle you can tell that he’s hooked. and he does a terrible job at hiding it.

now, he insists that you sit in his lap while he is taking notes because it “helps him focus better” and because “he’s so lonely”

we all know that aint true lmfao

he also really likes it when you play with his hair. please play with his hair, especially when you want him to get away from his studies. physical contact is completely foreign to him so something as simple as a scalp massage will make him melt 🛐

whenever he refuses to get away from his work, sucrose always asks you to step in because he wont listen to her

“y/n,” sucrose quietly approached you as you conversed with kaeya. you turned to her and nodded, albiet a bit concerned. sucrose never really needed you for anything, what did she need now that she couldn’t do herself?

kaeya took this as his sign to leave, but not before giving you a quick pat on the head. “yes, sucrose?” you said. “did something happen?”

she nodded meekly, watching kaeya walk off. a little bubble of guilt formed in her stomach from interrupting. “ah, i need your help with something. you see, mr albedo has been doing research non-stop on a new thing that has caught his eye since yesterday afternoon. i’ve tried to get him to put his research on pause, but,” she adjusted her glasses. “he doesn’t listen to me. i was hoping if you could maybe convince him to take care of himself?”

you pinched the bridge of your nose and sighed. he was doing it again. but you couldnt really blame him, he was terrible at keeping his hyperfixations under control. “i’ll take care of him, sucrose. don’t worry.”

she visibly relaxed at your words. sucrose flashed you a smile of gratitude, then waved and walked off to finish her errands in mondstadt.

—

it didn’t take him very long to notice your presence behind him. you were practically glaring at him, but there was no true anger behind it. wordlessly, albedo turned around in his chair and looked up at you.

you crossed your arms. “albedo,” you started, and it took everything in him not to sigh at the inevitable lecture.

“sucrose sent you, did she not?” he propped his arm up on the armrest of his chair, leaning his face into his hand as he gazed at you nonchalantly.

“of course she did. why aren’t you taking breaks?” he turned his chair back around, but you sat on the desk he was working at. you placed your hand on top of his papers and he shot a glare at you. it didnt phase you in the slightest.

“i have work to do. it’s much easier to do it all at once than stop inbetween.”

“have you at least been taking care of your basic needs? when was the last time you ate, or drank water?”

your eyes softened when he looked away.

hopping off of the desk, you grabbed his hand and pulled him away from his work ( gently, of course ). he barely protested.

you started muttering about how he needs to take better care of himself while pouring him a cup of water and making him a simple sandwich. he was a bit disappointed in himself for making you worry, and ate the food you gave him guiltily.

you pinched his cheek as he ate, giving it a light tug. he slapped your hand away playfully and a bit of the guilt he felt lifted when he heard your laugh. “i’m sorry you have to go through this for me.”

you shook your head. “you just need to learn how to stop yourself. you’re smart albedo, i’m sure you’ll figure it out in no time.”

he finished eating his food and, uncharacteristically, pulled you in for a hug. albedo rested his forehead against your shoulder, relaxing even further when you weaved your fingers through his hair.

“...i’m sorry, y/n.”

“stop apologizing.”

“okay. sorry. oh-”

you laughed.

[otptings]

Insomnia

-Idol ~ Kun

-Genre ~ Sick Fic, Smut, Fluff

-Warnings ~ insomnia, lack of appetite & weight loss, pillow princess by force, oral (f receiving), passionate fucking, dry humping? (she's half naked but he's fully dressed), daddy kink, rough sex, choking, degradation,

-Word Count ~ 2.9k+

-Synopsis ~ Sleeping never comes easy to. You've tried everything from exercising, to warm milk. Maybe the one thing you've been missing is some late night loving?

-A/n ~ loosely inspired by sky Insomnia, the rose insomnia, and dreamcatcher sleep-walking. best to listen to any of those songs as you read it, might help set the mood even though those are all break up songs lmfao. I also have my ko-fi link in my bio help raise more money to help me buy essentials for my emotional support animal, I cannot work at the minute because of my treatment for type 1 bipolar disorder, and door dash doesn't allow me to save up abundantly enough, if you could even only share it I would greatly appreciate it. anyway hope you enjoy this and thank you for reading

Sleep and you have always had a complicated relationship. Fighting sleep as a kid, climbing out of your bed after your parents tucked you in, playing with your toys until you passed out among us. At sleepovers you were always the one who stayed up all night, too excited to actually get tired.

As a teenager spending nights before school desperately trying to finish homework, staying up until the early morning hours, quickly taking a shower before running to the bus. If you had no assignments your crush at the time would distract you, joking and blushing until it was time to leave for school, bags under your eyes prominent, but the loss of sleep was worth it.

Now the only thing you wanted was to sleep.

Insomnia took over your life. Staying up sometimes days at a time, struggling to calm your racing thoughts that were determined to keep you up at night. They won most nights. Laying in your bed, struggling to get comfortable or staring up at the ceiling, willing sleep to overtake you. Even with the medication from the doctor you struggled to get more than 3 hours a night.

You tried other remedies too. Drinking warm milk with cinnamon and vanilla, the warm concoction soothing but never tiring you out. Exercising before bed that truly made you feel amazing but never worked to tire you out, only forcing you to feel the soreness in your body as you laid in bed. No electronics before bed helped you finish multiple books series that you had wanted to start but never had time for, but didn't work.

Everything you tried was in vain. Sleep continued to evade you, and it only took a higher toll on your physical body.

Your appetite started to lessen, your weight slowly declined. The bags under your eyes only got deeper and darker. Concerns about your physical state came form your friends, their worries growing as you continued to get worst and worst. It came to a peak when you almost passed out at an outing, shaky from the constant stream of caffeine that you were consuming in order to function properly, your eyes fluttering close as you collapsed into their arms. Concern was properly covering their face, and they rushed you to the hospital, you were too weak to even try and decline them.

At the hospital they gave you strict instructions to stay home and rest, with someone watching you over to make sure that you were properly taken care of. Along with instructions you got even stronger medication, 20 mgs stronger than what you were currently taking.

Kun being the thoughtful person he is offered to watch you while you were on bedrest. He was the best candidate out of your friends, the others practically pushing you to accept him.

Kun has been the best assistant? nurse? friend that you could ask for. Constantly at your beck and call making sure that you were drinking plenty of water, cooking you fresh homemade meals, and making sure your medication was taken on time. Along with that he also did the awkward task of helping you to the bathroom, since you were still shaky and weak at times.

He did this all without complaint, catering to you everyday and making sure that you were cared for. Sometimes when he wasn't busy with his own work he would sit and watch a drama with you, or just engage in conversation telling you about his day, and the funny things he did and heard.

Having him helping you 24/7 for 2 weeks straight, had caused some unwelcome feelings. Your friends weren't surprised at that, having been part of the reason why they suggested he did it, knowing your past feelings for him. With only a week left of your bedrest you were saddened at the thought that he was leaving, going back to only talking to him once or twice a week whenever the friend group hung out.

Kun had actually been the one who surprised you. Seeing that you were still up one night, thoughts of him running through your mind when he entered your room. Upon seeing you awake he sat on your bed, holding your hand as you asked what's up. You weren't truthful. Who would be truthful in that scenario? 'Hey actually I was up thinking about my crush on you and the desire that I constantly have to kiss you."

You were positive that wouldn't have gone through well.

Kun rubbed your hand soothingly, listening patiently to you as you lied about what you were thinking about, fake worries and complaints about going back to work. Offering you advice was always Kun's strong suit so you were ready for some good advice despite your lies.

That's what got you in this peculiar position.

Lip tucked tightly between your teeth, the taste of copper on your tongue. One hand grasping at the pillow behind you squeezing it tightly between your fingers, the other intertwined with dark blue hair as you tried not to pull too hard.

Kun thought the best thing to clear your mind was sex, and who were you to deny his generous offer.

You felt your hips jerking as tongue pressed his tongue against your hole, shallowly fucking into you. His free hand rubbed up your thigh, the sensation combining with him eating you out causing your mind to start to go blurry. His hand continued to glide up, before pressing down on your hips, forcing them down on the bed.

Without the ability to move you could only lie there as he continued to tongue fuck you. The fire in your stomach increasing, and Kun seemed to know it as he kissed your clit before sucking on it aggressively, causing your first orgasm to rip through your body.

Kun continued his ministrations, licking up your cum causing the fire to come back threefold. Kun sucked on your clit, flicking his tongue over it as you wriggled from the sensitivity. He seemed to be made for this, the way his tongue knew the perfect ways to fuck you open, and he hadn't even involved his fingers or cock yet.

Pulling away from your cunt you saw your juices covering Kun's mouth leaking down his chin. His hair was sticking every which way how you were messing, and pulling on it. Kun looked like all of your wet dreams had happened to come through.

"So pretty." A laugh let his mouth, a smiling spreading over his lips.

"Wish you could see yourself," Kun slid his hand up and down your thigh, rubbing it soothingly, "You're gorgeous. I've been wanting to do this for so long."

Kun changed the positions so that you were on top, straddling his thighs. You could feel his cock straining against his jeans, rubbing over your oversensitive clit in the best way possible. A whimper left your mouth as you started to rock on him, but Kun stilled your hips. His hand slid to your chin, rubbing his thumb along the side of your jaw.

"Can I kiss you?" You didn't bother answering, meeting him halfway. His chapped lips moved against your own as if you've done it before, there was a familiarity to it that made you wrap your arms around his neck pulling him flush against your chest. Sliding his hands up and down your body, lips moving in sync against yours. You nipped at his lip, causing a loud groan to leave his mouth as he opened it for you. Sliding your tongue into his mouth you reveled in the feeling of him taking dominance. His hands gripping your ass tightly, his tongue roughly dancing with yours.

You pulled away, placing your hips on his shoulders as you continued to grind against him. Another groan leaving his mouth as he moved you against him, forcing you to press down harder and faster against him.

"God baby." He leaned back as he looked at you, admiring the way you moved against him, needy and wanting to cum again. "You're so need baby. Who's got you like this hm?" You dropped your head back, continuing to rock your hips against his. Kun felt his cock twitching in his pants at the sight, grabbing the back of your neck and pulling you close to him, placing kisses along your neck and collarbones.

"Kun I need you." You tried to sound strict but it came breathy, a moan following it as he kisses over your jugular, nipping at it before listening to your 'command'. Flipping you over he gave you a peck, before pulling away to take off his clothes. You decided to join him stripping out of your shirt and throwing it across the room.

Kun crawled back over you, but he stopped just taking the time to stare at you.

"I need to say this before. I'm not just fucking you because of your insomnia, I'm not just fucking you to fuck you." Kun intertwined your fingers, "I really like you. I don't want this to just not mean anything to you, when I really like you. Even thought we're doing this backward I hope you can at least think of going on a date with me." You felt your face heat up, and the familiar feeling of fluttering in your stomach at his confession. Placing your hand on his cheek you leaned up, placing a quick kiss on his lips.

"I like you too Kun. More than I can put words to." A big smile spread across his face as he leaned down, showering your face with kisses. "But if you don't put your dick in me right now, you might not ever get that date." A laugh left his mouth as he placed one last kiss against your check, before grabbing the base of his cock and rubbing it up and down your cunt. Collecting some of your juices over his tips he looked down as he pressed into you, muttering a fuck at the sight of you taking him in so well. You threw your head back feeling the fuzziness come back, feeling how well he slid into you.

When Kun bottomed out he placed your still intertwined hands on the pillow beside you, his other hand sliding back to your hip.

"Fuck you feel so good." He growled as he waited for you to adjust, feeling your tight walls practically sucking him in.

"Please move. Please I need you." Kun placed a gentle kiss on your pouty lips before pulling. Thrusting back into you he set a slow pace, being gentle with you not forgetting that you were still on bed rest. Your other arm wrapped around his neck, pulling you closer to him. Feeling skin against skin as he continued to slowly fuck you, enjoying the feeling of him being close to you.

It was more intimate than it should've been, being the first time that you two were having sex but with Kun it felt right. This was more love making than casual fucking and you wouldn't have it any other way. The coil in your stomach started to tighten, Kun's groans helping greatly to push you towards the edge, but the pace he had set wasn't doing it for you.

"Kun." He slowed down, hearing the desperation in your voice and not wanting to hurt you.

"Yes baby? Am I hurting you?" You could hear the slight panic in his voice and shook your head, before meeting his eyes.

"Faster please. I need you rougher." Kun pushed your hair back, before cupping your cheek.

"Are you sure? I don't want to hurt you, you were just hospitalized."

"Please fuck me harder. I need you to ruin me daddy." At your words Kun's eyes darkened and without warning he thrust into you hard, causing a punched out moan to leave your mouth.

The mood changed just the way you needed it to, instead of being slow love sex Kun was fucking you. Hips meeting during every perfectly timed thrust, hitting deep within you as the sound of his balls smacking against your ass filled the room. He let go of your hand, instead opting to grab your waist and pulled you to meet him halfway on every thrust.

Ceaseless moans leaving your lips at the feeling of him fucking into you so beautifully, filling every inch of you. Opening your eyes that hadn't even realized had closed you were met by the sight of Kun, sweat glistening over his abs and dripping down his face. His hair plastered to his forehead, as he bit his lip harshly trying to hold back his groans. Your neighbors should really thank him for having some self control.

Kun slowed down as he lifted your legs up, pushing them towards your chest, folding you in half as he continued his rough pace. This new position causing you to feel him in your chest, the feeling of fullness completely overtaking you as you orgasmed for the second time. He fucked you through your orgasm, the tingly feeling spreading towards your hips as overstimulation set in. Even though his cock was dragging against your walls beautifully, blunt tip pressing into your g spot it started to get painful.

The feeling of it being too much, but not enough at the same time. Tears welling up in your eyes, as Kun pressed against your legs pushing them back further and forcing his cock impossibly deeper.

"F-fuck daddy please." You didn't even know what you were begging for anyway, him effectively fucking you dumb, his hands gripping your thighs tightly to the point where you knew you'd have bruises the next day.

"So tight around me, your pussy is sucking me in even after two orgasms? What's wrong baby? Two isn't enough, you need me to milk another one out of you?" You couldn't respond to him, only listened to him as he spoke, groans leaving his mouth harmonizing with your moans almost.

"Poor baby is fucked dumb," A cruel laugh left his mouth as he stuffed two fingers into your mouth. You sucked on his fingers, twirling your tongue around them. "Can't even speak, only babble and suck on my fingers huh? Lucky you're so cute. You liked being called dumb huh? Can feel the way you're pussy clenched around me? Must be close again." You could only let out a muted moan, Kun's fingers still pressed against your tongue, gagging you effectively.

Pulling his fingers out of your mouth he slid his hand around your throat, tapping his too soaked fingers on the side of your neck.

"So close baby. So. fucking. close." Punctuating his words with an extra hard thrust in between you had lost the ability to think, his hand gently around your neck, more like an accessory but just at the thought of him choking you felt yourself drooling, his thrusts still reaching that spot inside of you that was so deep it'd never been touched before.

As if hearing your thoughts, Kun's hand tightened around your throat, pressing you against the mattress. You came at that moment, Kun's tip hitting your g spot perfectly. Your eyes rolled back as you felt like you had exploded, all of your energy draining out of you with your third orgasm of the night.

At the feeling of you clenching around him so tightly, practically holding you in place Kun pulled out and quickly jerked himself off, cumming over your lower stomach. Kun marveled at the sight of you laid out below him, lips swollen from biting them, hair frizzy from rubbing against the pillow, his white cum painting your stomach, a light red mark around your neck from his hand.

Kun let you sit for a couple minutes before carrying you to the bathroom for a well needed shower. Setting you on the toilet, he let you pee while he started the warm. When you were finished and the water was warm enough Kun helped you into the shower, letting you lean against him as he started to clean the cum from your body.

"Are you okay?" You looked up at Kun, basking in the feeling of the warm water running down your body as Kun rubbed the soapy loofa over your body.

"Never felt better." A crooked smile spread across your face, too tired to even continue the conversation. Kun kissed you on your temple , seemingly sensing it and helped you rinse out. After getting you redressed and back into your bed with clean sheets, Kun went to go to the living room until you grabbed his arm.

"Can you stay?" Even after having sex Kun was still nervous to sleep in the bed with you, but he obliged hearing your soft, sleepy voice. Climbing into bed with you he pulled you into his chest, wrapping his arms around you.

"Thank you." Kun hummed, the vibration spreading through his chest and making you giggle.

"For?"

"Taking care of me." Kun placed another kiss on your head.

"You don't have to thank me. I wanted to care for you. Now get some sleep." Cuddling further into Kun, the beat of his heart along with the rise and fall of his chest lulled you to sleep.

For the first time in years, you slept like a baby.

[ronsonlywhore]

❛ 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗰𝗿𝗮𝘀𝗵 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿. ❜ remus lupin x reader

summary: you hate the thunder, so remus makes it go away. (or in which remus doesn’t really make it stop, but he holds you until it does.)

pairing: remus lupin x fem!reader

a/n: a thunderstorm woke me up this morning.. it was like all hell was raining loose, mother nature was not having it today </3 anyways yeah i was scared, that thunder was loud asf

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

the crash of the thunder makes you bolt upright, pulling the sheets toward you frantically and interrupting the peaceful sleep you had managed to fall into. thunder booms again; you dive under the covers, but whether out of annoyance at being woken up or fear of the downpour roaring through the atmosphere, you’d rather not say.

earlier, the thunderstorm currently raging outside had been nothing more than a light drizzle with a few lightning flashes here and there. the thunder had been practically non-existent while you had gotten ready for bed, and it only started until you were half-asleep, too drawn within the tranquil oblivion you had fallen into to notice or care.

there was no way you’d be falling back asleep now, though. the rain hit the windows too heavily, the wind howled like it could knock down hogwarts’ seemingly sturdy walls, and...was it hailing, as well? great, you think, just my luck.

the thunder roars again, loudly resonating throughout the grounds, and you snuggle deeper into the blankets. in a bed a few feet away from you, you hear lily snore, clear as a bell even with the storm crashing through outside. that brings you a shred of comfort; maybe you could sleep away the downpour after all.

that reassurance is quickly snatched away when a particularly big clap of thunder manages to rattle the dormitory window, a feat that is not easily achieved thanks to the ancient magic keeping hogwarts upright.

when you were much smaller, storms like this one would have you bolting to your parents’ room in the middle of the night, your fear of the pitch-black, creaky old house after dark be damned. your mother would say you were getting too old to burrow into their bed but still let you climb onto it, while your father would just peek at you and fall right back to sleep, his snores succeeding in drowning out the horrible thunder.

the summer before your first year at hogwarts, when a particularly scary rainstorm had you running to the comfort of your parents’ room again, your mother blatantly refused to let you dive under her covers. she said you were getting too old, too big, and “whose bed would you dash to at hogwarts?” while your father snored away in sleep, your mother told you to go back to your room and be brave. so, determined to show the thunder who’s boss, you marched back to your own bed with your head held high. your confidence lasted a total of two minutes and thirty-seven seconds, and you didn’t sleep a wink that night. instead, you stayed up, too afraid to sleep, and spent the rest of the early morning thinking about useless things: your dolls and what clothes you would dress them up in, the mudpies you had left to bake in the sun which were surely ruined thanks to the storm, and how you would beat the mean little boy next door to the swingset at the playground the next day.

so that’s what you did now: you thought about futile things while curled up in your dormitory bed, things like lessons and essays you hadn’t started on, chapters you were supposed to have read but could do fine without, parchment and quills and ink you needed to have replenished the next hogsmeade weekend.

in the end, it was pointless; the thunderstorm raged on, and you had never felt more awake in your life. abandoning the hope that you could fall asleep, you quietly pull back the curtains of your four-poster and tiptoe out the dormitory, careful not to wake any of the other sleeping girls in the room. reaching the staircase, you sluggishly walk down to the common room, planning on starting the fire up again and sitting in front of it until the morning, maybe even sneak down to the kitchens for food if you felt up for it.

you stop short when you see a figure sprawled on the stuffy couch, their lanky limbs hanging off of it. as you cautiously step closer, a smile tugs at your face to see it’s remus, transfiguration book abandoned and left open on his steadily rising and falling chest, used parchment strewn all over the floor. you make your way over and sit down on the armrest, contemplating whether you should wake him up or not; he looked happier when he was sleeping, as cliche as that sounded. you wonder what he’s dreaming of.

another roar of thunder; you jump, almost falling off the couch, and decide that waking remus up would only be for the best...after all, you didn’t want him to wake up with a sore neck from having to sleep in that awful position, did you?

you gently shake him, muttering, “remmy...remus.” he doesn’t stir, though, and you take to poking his arm softly, then a bit harder as you start to wonder how heavy of a sleeper he really is. “remus!”

he wakes with a start, the book tumbling down to the floor as he sits up swiftly, calming down only when he sees you standing there expectantly. he rubs his eyes, yawning, and groggily asks, “(y/n)? what are you doing?”

“what are you doing?” you ask in response, looking curiously around at the bundle of parchment and quills scattered around him. the storm is far from your mind even if you can still hear it outside; remus has become the perfect distraction.

he yawns again and looks down at his watch. you notice he’s still in his uniform...has he not gone up to bed at all?

“i was working on the transfiguration essay due tomorrow...must’ve fallen asleep, i suppose,” he answers, and you realize that he hadn’t done it because of last week’s full moon; but remus was never one to make excuses for himself, even if those excuses were credible.

lightning flashes outside bringing with it another clap of thunder; remus’s attention turns to the window. to your surprise, he smiles.

“is it raining outside?” he asks as he moves for a better view. so much for a distraction, you think as remus exclaims excitedly, “oh, it’s more than rain, it’s a storm!”

his face lights up, or maybe it’s just the lightning continuing outside. he proceeds to stare, transfixed, at the downpour. “beautiful, is it not? how the lightning can be sometimes white, or purple, or maybe even both. how the thunder rattles the earth down to its core,” he says after some time.

beautiful? if beautiful meant terrifying and too intense for your liking then, “yes, i suppose it is,” you answer.

another thunder strike, probably the loudest one that night, makes you jump. remus notices, and, with an expression of concern on his face, says more than asks, “you’re afraid of the thunder...that’s why you woke me up.”

how could one person be so intuitive?

you shrug your shoulders and nod, mumbling, “ever since i was a child.” remus smiles, that warm smile that he had when he was sleeping, as he walks over to the couch again, sitting down and getting himself comfortable. moving the quills and his book out of the way, he looks up at you expectantly. “well?” he asks.

“well what?” you inquire back, confused.

he laughs. “my lap is open for the taking,” remus says and pats his legs. realizing what he’s offering, you scramble over to the couch, laying down and resting your head on his lap, finally feeling truly at ease for the first time that night.

remus picks his book back up again, and you ask, “won’t you be sleeping, too?”

he shakes his head and smiles gently. “no, i have to finish this transfiguration essay. but don’t worry; i’ll be here with you until you fall asleep.”

a few minutes pass, and remus starts idly drawing random shapes on your arm, soothing you until you’re in that state between consciousness and sleep. just as you feel yourself slipping away, thunder booms, and you flinch, the sound startling you.

remus is quick to lean down and press gentle kisses to your forehead, murmuring all the while, “‘s alright. go to sleep, my love.” you can hear the fatigue in his voice, and know he won’t last much longer awake.

the thunder goes away for a few minutes but comes back again, although you don’t notice it much with remus’s arms wrapped around you. you glance up at him one last time before closing your eyes, and see remus dozing off again, the small smile he gets in his sleep back.

content, you snuggle in closer; this might’ve been the longest night of your life, but could proudly say the storm didn’t scare you as much anymore, not when remus held you through the crash of the thunder.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

a/n: why does this feel like the longest thing i've ever written LMFAO. anyways i love remus lupin <3

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@gwlvr @eunoniaa @skaratjung @miraclesoflove @ronbrokemyheart @inglourious-imagines @iiclarixa @drachoesimp

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[nightowlwriting]

summary: caleb is not so sure that he deserves the kindness you've done for him. you're sure that he deserves so much more, and you plan to show him in small increments so that you don't scare him away. the shopping trip is only the beginning. (part 3/13 of the kindness series, a thematically connected series of c2/exu imagines)

word count: 2.1k

warnings: caleb's low self-esteem, mentions of political corruption, set early in c2

note: i am only on ep16 of c2 so that's where we're at folks, also my german is so so so rusty so uhhh hope it's right but any germans want to correct me feel free lmfao

masterlist - request - support my work? - ao3

Caleb Widogast is a jumpy, jumpy man. You assume it’s for good reason - he’d confided in the group that he met Nott in jail and, well, typically people don’t go to jail unless they’ve done something.

(Although, the more that you adventure with the Mighty Nein you’re not so sure that’s true. It seems like corruption runs deep in the Empire, and you’ve only scratched the surface.)

Still, he is far jumpier than even Nott, and she’s a goblin in the Empire. You watch him, sometimes, and cringe when he flinches. It’s not pity that makes you start being nice to Caleb, but that does color your actions in the beginning. You are of the firm belief that he is a good person, that all of the Nein are, and that they deserve kindness. Caleb most of all. He is so hard on himself and no amount of coaxing from the rest of the group can get him to ease up. Not even Nott, and she functions as his pseudo-mother. But you want him to loosen up, want more of those moments where he makes a joke with a straight face, only to crack a small smile when the group looks away from him. (You try not to look away, craving those moments where you can see the smile light up his face.) When your group arrives in Zadash, you make it your mission to get Caleb to feel some sort of positive emotions about himself.

Or some sort of positive emotion that’s not scarred by whatever happened in his past. You want him to be happy, to heal from whatever keeps him held back from joking with the rest of you. It doesn’t even matter if he reciprocates how you feel about him - you don’t really care. You can love him from afar, be kind to him, and that will be enough for you. He doesn’t have to fall in love with you like you’ve fallen in love with him, really, that’s not why you’re doing this. This being stopping by Pumat’s shop to pick up some more spell scrolls for him with your gold. He had been muttering to himself the last time you were all in about not having enough money, but you hadn't wanted to embarrass him by purchasing them on his behalf, so a separate trip it is. Pumats, all of them, seem to know what you’re doing because they smile when you tuck the scrolls under your cloak and sweep out of the shop.

Your next stop is an ink shop, where you pick up some more ink and incense for Caleb. You’re not really sure how his magic works because it’s not something he was born with or given by a God, but you know that he’s always looking for good ink, parchment, and incense. Just because you don’t understand doesn’t mean that you can’t be supportive. You hope that’s what Caleb will get out of your gift, and not anything else. After you gather the magic supplies - you’d asked specifically for the things that wizards use just to make sure - you make your way to the Chastity’s Nook. Maybe Caleb was joking about wanting to be titillated while he learns, but you feel better safe than sorry.

The worker there is incredibly nice, if not shy, and helps you pick out something educational, historical, and terribly smutty. It makes you blush when you glance through it, but it seems to be the right balance of the things that Caleb has expressed interest in before. (Even if that might be fake - you’re not totally sure. Still, it can not hurt to try.) She even wraps it up nicely for you, offering to wrap your other gifts too. That might be too much, so you decline, but you still pass her a few more silver as a tip. You’ve never been so nervous as you are when you make your way back to the tavern where you’re staying, but it’s almost easy to keep your cool and mask the absolute terror you feel when Caleb is sitting with the group, eating dinner. You were kind of counting on him being in his room, reading, but you don’t let his sudden appearance stop you. Jester spots you first, patting the empty seat between her and Nott, calling your name. You slip into it, easily concealing your gifts behind your back. “Where did you go?”

A sly smile slips onto your face as you reach forward, taking a portion of the food they’d ordered, “Oh, you know, around.”

“You smell like perfume,” Beau leans over Nott and sniffs you, making a slightly disgusted face, “Why do you smell like perfume?”

“I went shopping,” You cut in before Jester and Molly can interject with salacious theories, “That shopping happened to be in the Tri-Spire, thank you very much.” Caleb raises an eyebrow, sharing a look with Fjord, but you ignore it. “What did you guys do today?” You don’t really listen - only enough to hum or nod as they’re speaking - because you’re focused on figuring out a plan to get your gifts to Caleb without the others noticing or making him feel like you’re doing it out of pity, or that he owes you. You just want him to be happy that he’s getting a gift. It’s later, when everyone has cleared out, that Jester shakes your shoulder lightly, calling your name.

“Are you okay?” Her dark blue eyebrows pull down over her eyes, incredibly worried, “You didn’t talk at all during dinner.” You take her hand in yours, squeezing it briefly.

“I’m fine, Jessie. I think I might head to bed, though.” You give her a hug before heading up to your room, looking over your shoulder just before you hit the stairs to see if Caleb had gone to bed when you had zoned out. He’s easy to find in the corner, nose deep in a book, and you grin. That makes everything so much easier, especially since Nott is tucked into the booth next to him. That means that their room is completely empty and a perfect place to drop the gifts without any of the unnecessary baggage that might come with giving them to him face to face. You don’t even think about the fact that he might have warded his room until it’s too late. (That being until you watch the string snap around your ankles when you make it four steps into the room.)

But, damnit, you have a mission to complete. There’s at least a minute before Caleb makes it to the stairs and perhaps another half a minute before he hits the door. You set the things up on what you think is Caleb’s bed a little messier than you wanted but you’re running out of time. The door is a no-go to leave, and you can hear Caleb bounding up the steps. You whirl, tugging your cloak tightly around you as you debate jumping through the window instead of opening it. In the end that will just draw an entirely different reaction than you want, so you settle for slamming the window up and slinging one leg over the sill. Caleb’s room is on the second floor, so the fall might hurt a little bit, but Caleb is right outside the door, so you don’t have any other choices-

“Was machst du in meinem Zimmer!?” He bellows, hands already engulfed in flame, when he kicks the door open. It startles you off of the window sill, luckily into the room instead of out. You pop up, hands raised and already talking.

“Okay, I don’t know what you’re saying but I didn’t know you had your room warded, I was just trying to give you the things that I bought you today, and then by the time I realized it was too late because I couldn’t just leave without giving you the stuff, because then you’d be scared-” Caleb extinguishes the flames that had started to crawl up his arms, shutting the door as he comes closer to the bed. You scramble to your feet, snagging your cloak in your hands to twist it nervously. “-I should leave now, excuse me.” You do your best to skirt around him but Caleb holds up a hand, eyes on the pile of loot you’ve left on his bed. He wraps a warm hand around your wrist to keep you in place as he tries to process what’s happening.

“What is on my bed?” Caleb finally looks toward you then, eyebrows furrowed as he watches you nervously fidget with your robe, biting your lower lip. “I am not mad, but what do you mean things you bought me?” He gestures loosely with the other hand and you take a step closer to him and the bed. You weren’t ready for being confronted with Caleb, despite how much you thought about what you might say to him in a situation like this. You almost swallow your tongue trying to figure out what to say to him.

“I bought you things,” You blurt, “Because you deserve it. I’m not sure if it’s all the right things, but I tried and even if you can’t use them for, you know, magic things you can use them for other stuff-” You watch as he makes his way over to the pile and begins rifling through it, mumbling to himself in Zemnian. “I’m not doing this out of pity, or anything,” You move to his side, peeking over as he skims through the book you bought, “I did it because I want to, I promise.” You wring your hands and look off to the side, avoiding watching the way he’s pouring over what you’ve bought, “You weren’t even really supposed to know they’re from me, honestly, I just wanted to do something nice for you because you deserve kindness-”

“-I am not so sure about that,” Caleb turns to you, catching your attention. He smiles, but it’s weak, when he looks at the small pile you’ve bought for him, “The spells will be useful for the group, but the rest… You are too kind.”

“I’m not!” Perhaps on instinct, you reach out and clasp his wrists in your hands, “No, Caleb, please. I didn’t do this to make you feel bad, I want you to feel good. You’re so bright, Caleb, and so amazing that I just want you to feel a fraction of the happiness you make me feel.” He hesitates so you press on, taking the chance to step closer to him as your heart takes off at a breakneck pace in your chest. “Please, don’t feel guilty. I did this because I want to, okay? I want to make you happy and make you smile, and make you feel good because it makes me feel good. You don’t have to do - to do anything and if you want, I’ll stop. You just say the word and I’ll stop, but I see you, Caleb.” Your voice breaks off as your eyes mist over. He looks awe-inspired at you, not stepping away or pulling from your grasp, “I see you. I see the way you bite back jokes, and sometimes they slip through. I see the way you care for us, for Nott. I see the way you sacrifice yourself in everything you do because you don’t feel like you deserve to be happy, but you do. Please, you are such a good man - I can see it. I can feel it, Caleb. You deserve the world’s largest kindness, but if I can’t give that to you I’ll give you small kindnesses, if you’ll let me.” Your lip quivers and your voice comes out in a hoarse whisper when you decide to fling yourself off the metaphorical cliff you’ve found yourself on, “Caleb Widogast, I wish to give you never-ending small kindnesses not only because you deserve them, but because I love you. I am in love with you.” The difference sits heavy in the air between you as you watch Caleb process everything that you’ve said.

“You… Are you in love with me?”

“Undoubtedly.” You confirmed, whispering. He’s stepped toward you a fraction of an inch, but it puts the both of you nearly chest to chest. “I have never been so sure of something, Caleb.”

“I enjoy the way you say my name.” He confesses. You watch in wonder as red begins to crest from underneath his facial hair, coloring his cheeks a rosy, pretty pink. He tries to look away, but you duck your head to try and keep some semblance of eye contact. Your hands tremble in his.

“I’ll say it forever, then,” You try to smile, but you really only manage an upward quiver of your lips, “Every day, if you’ll accept my kindness.”

“Es wird schwer,” Caleb says under his breath as he shuffles even closer to you, “Es wird so schwer, aber ich werde es versuchen.” You’re not totally sure what he’s saying, but when he presses a terrified, hesitant kiss against your lips the message comes across loud and clear.