#i read six of crows but now i think i need to read shadow and bone

[archiveofourcrows]

I was wondering if you had any thoughts on how the Kuwie kiss would go now that Jesper and wylan are already in a relationship (and oh yeah, LIVE TOGETHER). I want to see the hilarious hatred Wylan has for Kuwie on screen

oh my god anon do I have THOUGHTS about this.

obviously these are my own thoughts on what I think/want to happen (as an angst fueled individual as well) and is also just a fic concept I'll never write and tbh if I had the ability to write a whole fic about this I so would. 

this is ending up being a whole mess of thoughts of the lead up and all that and I'm almost sorry about it but I want to talk about this so bad.

Okay, one thing about this scene that I don’t see mentioned a lot is that Jesper is not doing well in the lead up to it. He’s just fought with Kaz—when Kaz calls him Jordie no less—and then immediately fought with his father about the farm and him being Grisha and all Jesper has been keeping from him. When he finds Kuwei at the piano he isn’t exactly processing literally anything. And that is why he mistakes him for Wylan, not because he can’t tell them apart. Yes, Kuwei does realize this and keeps up the act to deceive him, but initially, Kuwei is sitting at the piano. Jesper is in distress. He’s looking for Wylan, and he thinks he’s found him. And what does Jesper do in emotion heavy moments? He jokes, he flirts, so he flirts with Wylan. When Kuwei responds differently than Wylan to these advances he’s actually confused for a second, he even says ‘really?’, but again he isn’t exactly thinking clearly and decides to go for it. As soon as the real Wylan interrupts, as soon as his mind is clear again he instantly sees even their minute differences down to the narrowness of their faces. ‘I was paying attention’ comes to mind, because when he is he can tell them apart instantly.

My point is it’s a specific set of circumstances that lead up to this moment, and I think they can all continue to exist in show canon. I think the argument with Colm could potentially be even worse, considering Jesper has been away for longer and has been actively using and practicing his Grisha powers. I also think this is partially why they cut the deleted wesper scene, because it in a sense displays Jesper at least beginning to give up gambling, and I don’t think they can get rid of that storyline just yet because of the things it causes in SoC when they’ve closed out some of the other storylines that are also catalysts in that plot. Am I happy with that is another conversation….

Anyways I bring all of this up to say that while the circumstances have every possibility of staying the same the Jesper going into the room and the Wylan discovering them are very different. And their relationship as a whole is very different. There’s no confirmation them living together will be carried from the deleted scene so I’m gonna leave that out, but they’ve been together for at least a significant amount of time. And they’ve just gone through this whole patch of uncertainty.

I think that after the Van Eck reveal there will be a bit of a split between them like we saw this season. I don't think they'll break up but it'll get a bit rocky through the journey to Fjerda and the beginnings of the ice court heist. and with Wylan's trauma/his father in general being their client I don't think he would really fault Jesper for being upset? Especially with the 'I don't want to hide anymore' scene between them this season. This would all naturally come to head towards the middle/end of the heist after they climb the incinerator shaft and are working to trigger the alarm. Specifically when Wylan pretends to be a drunk to save Jesper and then the Grisha attacks them and Jesper has to kill her to save Wylan. This scene with Jesper already coming to accept and develop his powers will be SO interesting to see, because even in the books when he has only just been revealed as Grisha to the crows he is remorseful and upset to kill one of his kind (another Fabrikator at that) even though he knows he had no choice in that moment. Exploring that in a universe where he is 1) older, and more importantly 2) accepting or at least beginning to accept his powers and his place in the world as a Grisha is something I really hope they explore. It’d even be cool to see it mirror the scene in season 1 when Inej kills Pavel to save Kaz. This would lead to a kind of ‘we’ll talk when we aren’t actively looking death in the face’ situation.

Except now Wylan is faced with Kaz thinking he’s actual leverage against Van Eck, and I don’t think his decision to let Nina tailor him would change in this new canon. In fact it would probably make him even more willing, because he is that much more attached to the Crows and to Jesper. He’d probably fight against lying to Jesper but conceded to Kaz in the end because Kaz. I think too that there is more room for a heartfelt scene outside of ‘maybe I liked your stupid face’ and that’s possibly why they used it this season. Because now that they're together it would make more sense for Jesper to express genuine emotions about Wylan being tailored—into someone who is actively wanted by multiple nations no less—and lying to him about it. Of course, Kaz asked him too and I think that would also be such an interesting conversation between Kaz and Jesper but I’ve already gone so off track.

Wylan will also probably be either more or less jealous of Kuwei because he and Jesper are already together, though I think more considering his self esteem issues. I would expect only in body language/action alone unless Jesper or someone explicitly asks him because again, it’s Wylan. I do legally require them to include the ‘how about I push you in the canal and we see if you know how to swim line’ because it is so iconic and they already took just girls from us. 

I’m going way to in depth with this. 

Anyways.

I wonder too what direction they will go with Wylan being tailored in the sense that he doesn’t just look like anyone, he looks like Kuwei. In the original scene Jesper says he misses Wylan’s actual features but would take any version of Wylan, but in this new canon does that stay the same when he ‘had’ un-tailored Wylan? And how would Wylan feel being with Jesper as ‘Kuwei’ knowing Kuwei has a crush on him and makes advances on him later on? I think it’s a very interesting topic and I really look forward to seeing if they delve into that at all. Personally I think they’d agree on waiting for Wylan to have his features back so that’s what I’m going with.

So considering all that, and the circumstances surrounding the scene, with the idea that his argument with Colm could also be worse, this scene gets very interesting.

Obviously now he is going to be actively seeking Wylan out, I feel like I don’t need to explain why. When he finds Kuwei he’s probably incredibly relieved, and I think he would actually confide in ‘Wylan’ about his argument with Colm. In the book, he just kind of paces the room and flirts with him, but him and Wylan are together. They already went through all of season 2, and now all of the Ice Court situation. And Kuwei not responding would probably confuse him a bit, but much like the first scene he really isn’t in his right mind. And being upset, I think he’d default back emotional avoidance and this is where we’d see that flirting from the original scene, maybe less of a ‘wanna get out of here’ and more of a ‘let’s blow off some steam’ in this situation considering. And he would know, the second Kuwei kisses him, that this isn’t Wylan. Even in the book he knows something is off, but now he already knows exactly how this kiss should go. The thing is we don’t know how long Wylan was standing there. I think Jesper would be so upset at himself for not realising and at Kuwei for tricking him, but if Wylan still sees? There’d be no doubt who is standing in the doorway, and I think the scene after this will really be so different. Maybe they’ll still have the sitting room scene before they can talk, or maybe Jesper will actually rush after him in this version. And so much changes in that conversation, because he can’t just ‘kiss whoever he wants’ in this canon. The entire rest of his POV really, Wylan being tailored back and their original first kiss would be very different. And those scenes are just, 80 million more thoughts.

What’s interesting about this too is it moves Kuwei from just having a crush on Jesper and shooting his shot (through deceiving him but still, they’re teenagers in the books) to being a bit of a villain. Not in a big SoC villain sense obviously, but knowing Jesper and Wylan are together and still deceiving Jesper and letting him talk about his dad thinking it’s a conversation with his boyfriend is a lot different than the circumstances in the books, especially aged up. I do actually like Kuwei, I think his character was interesting and would be cool to explore away from the SoC plot where he served a specific purpose (disclaimer I haven't read KoS), and I know I’m not the only one so that will be a very interesting deviation to take that really separates him from book canon and how he’s perceived by fans. But I need to shut tf up now because this is way longer than I think anyone wanted. Though feel free to ask me more questions that I can elaborate forever on.

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

Hi lovelies, I know I reblogged a post about the S&B news earlier but I just want to put my own words out here real quick.

I’m slightly late writing this because I spent the last 30 minutes or so watching the wonderful wonderful wonderful brekkerbybrekker on Instagram live and it was honestly just a full half hour or me crying whilst I watched her cry. I feel like we all know her but if anyone doesn’t she’s on insta and tiktok and she’s absolutely brilliant so do go give her a follow.

The Grishaverse has been part of my life actually for only 2 years, nearly 2 1/2, and I say only because I feel like I have been part of this world forever. I read Six of Crows in May 2021 and I had finished reading the series by September. I think it was in June that I started watching the TV show, after I’d read the first Shadow and Bone book. So although I read the books first, or in the case of S&B the books that were relevant to the season, I have never existed in this fandom - and definitely not as an active part of it - without the show there. And really the main thing I want to say is please please please don’t let this fandom end because we don’t have the show anymore. I know it existed before me but I also know that we got a lot more traction because of the show, you can see that in the way the popularity of it spiked before the release of season 2, and I don’t want to lose this because I love it here so damn much. It really hurts that we won’t be able to see our beloved, wonderful cast in all the futures we’d hoped for, and I really hope they know just how much we love them. This is a difficult revelation, but we will continue on together because we are a strong and wonderful community joined by such genuine love for such a beautiful series of novels.

Over the next few days I’m planning on reblogging the analyses of season 2 that I posted in March so if you’ve joined me since then (which I think a lot of you have since we’re so close to 1.3k thank you all so much) and haven’t read them then give them a look because I really think there’s so much wonderfulness to celebrate about that show and that’s what we need to keep doing now. I also might end up writing some new analyses of the show since I will almost definitely be rewatching it.

Deep down, I honestly really thought we were gonna make it

I know that not everyone will get why this provoked an emotional response from me and that’s okay, but please don’t be disrespectful of the fact that it did 🖤

[evilwickedme]

I just. Ugh. Oh my God. The fucking PARALLELS this season of Good Omens. Y'all know I'm an absolute fool for a good parallel, so to get so many? I'm so well fed today

Crowley and Azira are like, the definition of soulmates of the kind that are made, you know? Like there is no one single other being in the whole of Creation that shares even a fraction of the same experiences. Six thousand years in the making, this ship is - even more according to this season !!! And YET, they are absolutely brand new. They've never been in a romantic relationship - not with each other, not with anyone - and as Crowley pointed out, they've essentially just gotten out of toxic relationships with Heaven and Hell. Except like, not really? Because we see Crowley really got out Heaven so heavily traumatized he never really put all that much stock into Hell. Yeah, Hell might've still been abusive, but Crowley was halfway out the door the whole time. Azira, tho... He still buys into all of it. He's technically out the door, but he hasn't done any of the deprogramming you need to do in order to move on (I feel like I'm mixing my metaphors a little by using cult-related languages, but also abusive relationships are essentially two person cults, so)

And this season sets this dynamic up so perfectly with Nina and Maggie!!!!! And we're supposed to think that Nina is Crowley because she's dark and broody and Maggie is Azira cause she's frankly precious but really it's the other way around and it's Nina who finishes the season being like "I can't be in a relationship right now because I still need to work on myself having just ended an incredibly toxic relationship" and it's just. Nina and Maggie don't end the season together because that's not what they need right now and bc of that they might still be able to be together later, but Crowley and Azira hold onto each other SO DAMN HARD that they end up losing each other SPECIFICALLY BECAUSE AZIRA CAN'T DO THAT SAME THING OF UNPACKING HIS BASE ASSUMPTIONS it's like leaving a cult cause they were mean to you once but still buying into the new agey stuff they used to love bomb you into joining the cult in the first place

And so that's the relationship part of things but also we've got like soo many parallels showing how broken the system is in the first place and obviously ineffable bureaucracy is what stands out here because of the literal lines coming out of various characters' mouths during this plotline but can we talk about how heavily brainwashed Muriel is and how clearly they're supposed to be exactly like a young Aziraphale, one who doesn't "have" Crowley yet!!! Like tell me that if you gave Muriel a fiery sword and told them to watch over the first ever pregnant couple in history they wouldn't give them that Goddamn sword. Nobody on either side is capable of questioning their position in life without exposure to Something Else, but it doesn't have to be like, the being you're going to run off to alpha centauri with. It could very much be a copy of The Crow Road

(sidenote, has anybody read this book? It seems like an incredibly deliberate choice but I've never heard of it! I think I might send in an ask to Neil Gaiman himself if I don't see any meta soon)

Anyway yeah um. I don't know how to end this. Parallels and shadow selves fuck (double entendre)

[seleneprince]

Magische Linten (Magic Ribbons)

Contains: Dutch expressions (as a fandom, we forgot too fast that Kerch is a fantasy Dutch and that Kaz used dutch words in the books, like "ja". We should remember it). I used the translator for this, so if there are any mistakes, please let me know. Mentions of the Wandering Isle's culture about Grisha, which includes blood and questionable medical practices. Use some ocs. Saskia is a real character in the books, if you read them, you know who she is. I simply created an oc based on her.

(This follows the plot of the first book, Six of Crows, and not the show Shadow and Bone, althought it will contain references to it because I loved it too)

"There's no way"

"Seriously, I'm not lying"

"It cannot be true"

"Yes, it is. I can vanish anything in my hands and make it appear again somewhere else"

"¿Are you a Grisha?"

"Natuurlijk niet!* It's only a magic trick. I learnt it by watching one of those men with colorful clothes in the street. I think it's called 'illusionism' or something like that"

Saskia frowned. She knew what men he was referring to, but she never heard that word before. It sounded suspicious in her ears.

"¿Aren't what Grisha do basically magic tricks too?"

"Well, technically yes, but it's not the same. Anyone can do this if they learn and practice enough, but not everyone can do what a Grisha can, no matter how much they learn"

"I'm not sure. That trick you said sounded very Grisha-like to me"

"Fine! If you don't believe me, let me show you. I swear it has nothing to do with Grisha."

Saskia didn't quite buy it. It wasn't like she was worried that the boy would hurt her, but what he said sounded very weird. Where she came from, it was said that Grisha were dangerous and the only good thing they had was their blood, which could cure sickness. She remembered briefly when a doctor took some blood out of her when she had fever, and she cried the whole process. She couldn't understand how Grisha were capable of going through that so often, and voluntarily at that. They weren't normal.

But if he said he wasn't a Grisha, Saskia chose to believe him. Her "father" told her these boys were innocent, simple-minded. Her new friend had no reason to lie.

"Oké*, but make it fast. And if you hurt me, I'll hit you"

"I barely have to touch you, I just need something small. A pencil, or a button"

While they looked around them, Saskia brushed some strands from her eyes. She hated how her "mother" styled her hair, with ridiculous ties and curls. That's when she felt one of the ribbons she wore, and had an idea.

"Here", she took one of them off and gave it to him, "Use this"

He blinked at her, surprised.

"¿Are you sure? I don't-"

"You say you can make it appear again, ja? Besides, I have many more like this, so I don't mind if you lose this one"

He stared down at the red ribbon in his hand, his cheeks blushing in a expression akin to flusterment. Like he was holding 100 kruge in his palm instead of a simple piece of silk. When his eyes met Saskia's again, there was no sign of that expression. She was silently impressed with his quick facial control.

"Oké, now let us start!"

He smiled with confidence, and Saskia couldn't help but smile in return at his enthusiasm.

The boy proceeded to turn the ribbon around in his hands, twisting it with before her eyes, until suddenly...it dissapeared. Just like that, she was seeing it clearly one moment and the next she didn't anymore. No noise or twitch that signaled where it went. Saskia's mouth was wide open.

"What the-how did you do that?! You had it in your hand, I was seeing it! How is this possible? It just...vanished"

Instead of answering, the boy chuckled at her. He extended his hands towards her wrist, slowly, and stopped right where his fingers brushed her pulse point. He became still for a moment, worrying Saskia a bit with his lack of movement. Then, with a graceful twist of his hand, he started to move his hand away, and Saskia felt something soft sliding down her wrist.

It was the red ribbon.

She couldn't hide her fascination.

"Dat is geweldig!* How did you do it? I didn't feel it getting under my sleeve, nor I noticed it was there. How can it be?", she narrowed her eyes in suspicion at him, "¿Are you sure you're not a Grisha?"

When her eyes focused on him, she saw something weird. His cheeks were blushing, which didn't make sense because it wasn't that cold in the room. They had been mostly near the functioning chimney since they arrived. ¿Was he getting sick?

"Hey, ¿are you alright? Your face is getting red"

"Ah, uhm, I...it's nothing. I was just nervous that...it didn't work out. Yup, that's it", the boy shook his head, like he just broke out of a trance, and scratched his neck as he turned his eyes away. "And ja, I'm sure I'm not a Grisha. Like I said, anyone can do this"

"Oh, oké then", she had the feeling there was something else, but she got distracted quickly. "Well, I can't do it, and I'm very smart"

He chuckled softly.

"It has nothing to do if you're smart or not. You can't do it because you never practiced. If you tried, I bet you'll do it better than me", his cheeks reddened again, and Saskia thought he looked very cute like that, "You're the most talented person I know. You'll be probably good at everything."

"Well, I wouldn't say that either," now it was her turn to blush, "I read a lot of books, and my brot-my parents teach me many things, so that's why I know some stuff."

There was a pause between them, a comfortable silence that felt unusual in them. Whenever they were together, they talked nonstop and they didn't know how to stay still. Which was good for Saskia, because she couldn't stand silences. They made her nervous and uneasy, and she couldn't afford that. Not with him.

"Can I tell you something, Saskia?"

His voice sounded low out of sudden, and his eyes were fixed on her.

"Natuurlijk*, why do you ask?"

"It's just...I really like being with you and I don't want to bother you."

"I don't think you can do anything to bother me, dummy. Go on, what is it?"

He looked at her straight in her eyes, smiling shyly, but with a firm determination sparkling in his orbs.

"You're beau-"

The door was slammed open, showing Saskia's "father" and another boy with him.

"Here you are, ducklings", the man's deep voice captured the children's attention, "I'm sorry, boy, we lost track of time. Saskia, say goodbye to your friend, they're leaving."

"But pappa*, we still haven't-" she stopped herself when the man gave her a significant look. She bit her lip and nodded. "Oké"

They stood up, with Saskia brushing off her skirt and the boy fixing up his jacket. They walked side by side towards the exit, with Saskia's father and the older boy in front of them.

Just when the brothers were about to leave, her friend turned back to her abruptly.

"Wait! Saskia, take your ribbon. I forgot I had it", he extended his hand towards her, with the red silk still in his fingers, but the girl shook her head.

"Don't bother, you can keep it", she pushed his hand back gently. "It's a gift."

He stared at her perplexed.

"What are you saying? Are you sure?"

"Ja. Consider it a thanks for showing me that amazing trick. I loved it", she showed him a genuine smile, and he looked away again. "And if your hairs grows, you can use it to tie it back."

He scoffed playfully, glancing back at her with another smile.

"Yeah, sure, keep dreaming. No way I'm wearing that", his face softened. "See you tomorrow, I guess."

Something warm twisted in Saskia's chest. She pushed it back where it came from.

"Ja, see you tomorrow. And I hope you bring some new tricks. Now I want to see more of them."

He chuckled. Saskia was starting to find the sound very pleasant. She thought she wouldn't mind hearing it more often, and a sense of dread assaulted her. She shouldn't be having these thoughts.

"Ik beloof het*"

And after that exchange, they bid their goodbyes, both still smiling as the distance between them grew. She felt the firm hand of her "vader*" squeezing her shoulder almost painfully. A silent reminder.

A warning.

"Didn't you hear? The Black Tips are dust now. That idioot Geels emptied the vaults to get on the Dregs' bad side, and the Brekker demon sent them all packing with their tails between the legs."

"Ja, they even came up with a song for it. 'The Durstraat is on fire and the Dregs don't have no water'. I heard it when I passed by their nest."

"Cocky klootzakken*. But I guess we can thank them for riding us from those rats. One less headache to deal with."

Those were the first sentences that Diantha heard as soon as she set a foot in the Emerald Palace. She twirled her way through the gaming tables towards the bar, expertly avoiding the waving hands and listening their talks about the latest news. The fall from grace of the Black Tips.

It didn't catch her by surprise at all. She already heard what happened on her way to the Palace, and haven't she been busy with her last minute assignment at First Harbor, she would've likely gone to witness the whole mess in front row from one of the rooftops. However, she didn't feel dissapointed for having missed it, considering the interesting events that transcurred in First Harbor and that she got to see by herself.

In the bar counter, she found Jesse rearranging some bottles and greeting her with a nod.

"Welcome back, Krett. I take it that it was a successful inspection."

"What makes you think that?"

"Your clothes are still intact and you don't have an ounce of dirt on your face, so I assume there were no fights or accidents. Plus, you have that spark in your eyes from when you got your hands on something valuable and can't wait to show it."

She grinned. She didn't expect less from the Emerald Palace's head bartender. After so many years working behind the counter, Jesse learnt to be particularly observant with people, which allowed him to charm them into a false sense of trust as he filled their cups and pried secrets from their loose mouths. Also, he had known Diantha since she was a kid, freshly initiated into the Dime Lions after her brother, so it wasn't surprising he could read her so easily.

"Well, the boss may feel conflicted with the news, but I think it'll distract him enough from the last fiasco."

"I hope so. I'm afraid he's going to be in a sour mood for the following hours, and it'll be nice to keep his attention away from us."

"Is he really that pissed about the Black Tips?"

"I guess it has more to do with the Brekker boy twerfing his plans once again rather than loosing those oafs."

Diantha felt her body tense, just like everytime someone mentioned him.

Kaz Brekker, the Dregs' lieutenant, and Pekka Rollins' biggest headache. His long story of crimes and blood stained hands, all in the name of profit, gave him the nickname Dirtyhands. Because there was no line he wasn't willing to cross to get what he wanted. People whispered his name in fear and cowered at the sound of his lethal cane tapping the ground as he walked. Not even the Dime Lions were immune to his terrifying presence, but they knew better than to show it when Rollins was near.

She would never admit it, but Diantha was also a bit intimidated by him. Their paths had crossed only a handful times, but when they did, it always ended with painful reminders carved in each other's skins. Some of them permanent and impossible to conceal, just as the one she carried on her left hand, or the one that made him rely on his cane to move. But that wasn't what made her feel so wary of him, no.

It was his eyes. There was just something in them when he looked at her that made her very...uneasy. Like he was about to lunge at her at any moment, but she couldn't figure out when. It unnerved her, not being able to predict his movements. He looked at her like that even since before the "incident", so she assumed it was due to her being a Dime Lion. They were enemies after all, and he was clearly set on ruining Rollins' empire, so it made sense he despised her. The "incident" just gave him another reason to do so.

She shook her head to expel any thoughts about him. It wasn't the time to divagate about whether the Bastard of the Barrel had personal reasons to hate her or not. Plus, trying to figure out the mind of someone like him would only drain her own sanity in the process.

Right now, she had crucial information to report to her already angry boss, and Saints knew how he could get if she made him wait.

Kaz Brekker had no power over her, but Pekka Rollins very much did and would gladly use it. And that was enough to push Dirtyhands out of her head at once.

"Really? You think it's wise leaving it like that, with the Black Tips still fuming and crawling around?"

"It's the right course of action. By the way, go call Jesper and Muzzen. I want them here at sunrise. And have Wylan wait for me at the Crow Club tomorrow night."

"Wylan? If you say the job is so important..."

"Just do it."

Inej crossed her arms, glaring at him with the same sharpness as her precious knives. He was sure she was considering murdering him right there.

"Are you going to give me any details, Kaz?"

"Once we're all reunited", he put on a clean shirt and buttoned it up as he walked to his dresser. "This isn't an order, Inej. It's another job, which you're free to accept or deny."

He finished with the buttons, throwing on next a grey vest with little pockets sewn discreetly underneath, perfect to keep tools he didn't want others to find out. Just when Inej opened her mouth, probably to ask something again, someone knocked at the door.

"Kom binnen*" he answered, barely looking at who entered.

It was Rotty, with a solemn expression that clashed vastly from his previous cheeriness.

"Hallo*, sir. We just received news from the Shu's cargment of gold that arrived this morning", he spoke in a rush. "The Merchant Council plan on keeping the ship docked at the port, under the stadswacht's surveillance, until further notice."

"Well, it was to be expected. That stunt Shu Han pulled made their plans a bit more complicated for the future. They'll refrain from touching the gold until they're completely sure of it", he hummed. "But why are you telling me this? That cargment of Shu gold isn't a priority now."

"Sir", Rotty stuttered, avoiding Kaz's dark eyes. "Pekka Rollins knows"

The temperature in the room went down drastically. Kaz freezed in the spot, under Inej's attentive gaze.

"And...?"

He had a feeling of where this was going. Rotty never stuttered before when he mentioned Rollins to him, unless...

"He sent one of the Krett siblings to cover First Harbor, sir."

There it was.

He felt that familiar fire at his stomach, like everytime he heard that name. He could feel the burning climb up his throat, setting his insides on an inferno.

He let out a raspy, humourless chuckle. He should have expected it. Pekka Rollins wouldn't have turn away from such a delicious, tempting treasure, not when he was still trying to plant his roots inside the Merchant Council's core. And of course, he would have sent his favourite puppet to follow the whole operation.

He knew one of the Kretts was out of the Barrel at the moment, so that only left one for the job. Her.

"Thank you for telling me, Rotty. This definitely supposes a change in our plans", he pulled out a new set of gloves and fastened the buttons around his wrists, rather hastly. "We should reconsider First Harbor's importance for us. You can leave now."

Rotty nodded and left the room almost running. Inej eyed him warily. She knew too what that information meant to him. What the infamous lioness caused.

"What do you have in mind now, Kaz?"

He didn't answer inmediately. His gloved fingers went inside the drawer again, brushing against a worn out piece of red silk he kept hidden in there, only for his eyes to see. A trinklet from a painful dream, a reminder of what his goals were.

He closed it again with a loud thump, before walking out of the room without a single word, leaving the ribbon hidden underneath the documents once again.

(One day, she'll be hidden too, where only he could see her and grasp her)

A/N: Inspired by my discussions with @stayconnecteed about her awesome aus for six of crows and my own silly headcanons. She also happens to be the one who came up with that beautiful cover, so all credit to her. And @mrsmiroir, because we both wanted to see more of Saskia so my mind created this.

TRANSLATIONS:

-Natuurlijk niet!*: Of course not!

-Dat is geweldig!*: This is amazing!

-Ja*: Yes

-Oké*: Allright, okay

-Natuurlijk*: Of course

-Vader/Pappa*: Father

-Ik beloof het*: I promise

-Idioot*: I think this one is pretty obvious

-Klootzakkenn*: Assholes

-Kom binnen*: Come in

-Hallo*: Good evening

[savethegrishaverse]

Pankhuri Bhutani, the journalist who coined the term 'Third Army,' has graciously given us the chance to interview her. Read on for an insightful conversation, where we learn what she thinks about our campaign, what it was like interviewing the cast, what she thinks comes next for us, and more!

Here's a compilation of her interview in our newsletter issues, in order, with Questions in bold and Pankhuri's answers in text;

"It all came to me when I was reading the Shadow and Bone trilogy. There were mentions of First Army and Second Army. I was a bit confused at first trying to understand just which army included the Grishas and the Otkazat'syas. Then I perused through the Six of Crows duology as well and had a better idea.

Q&A with Pankhuri Bhutani: Third Army origin story - What inspired you to come up with a name for the fans campaigning to #SaveShadowAndBone and greenlight the #SixOfCrowsSpinoff?

One of the most memorable things about a fandom for me is the name bestowed upon them. While Shadow and Bone fans have been embodying different personas—some of them calling themselves “The Crows,” some “The Summoners,” reading the books, I genuinely believed the fandom needed an official name that amalgamated the diverse abilities of the fandom and unified their interests.

And that's when the idea of "Third Army" struck me. An army combined of both the lovers and fans of the original trilogy, as well as the iconic Six of Crows duology, alongside the King of Scars duology and all the chronicles affiliated with the Grishaverse, "Third Army" represents a union of all the fellow Grishaverse fans.

Somewhere along the lines, I did imagine the fandom fighting together as an army. And I was struck with the name "Third Army." I added it to the article I crafted for the billboard launch, and I guess the rest is history. "

Since you have followed the campaign from the beginning, what's your opinion on the different projects undertaken so far? And comparing it to other fan campaigns, is there anything you would have done differently?

To be blatantly honest, I'm not aware of a lot of other fandom campaigns. But I fairly think this is by far one of the strongest contenders out there in terms of a campaign initiated by fans with such monumental strength.

I don't think there would have been anything I would've done differently or quite distinct to what has been happening had I been involved in a wonderful fan campaign like this. But I will definitely request and wish to see more cosplays and other creative work! All of you are so immensely talented!

There have been a lot of talks about the show, and even though the future seems uncertain for now, the hard work and dedication of the fandom will probably never be forgotten.

What made you decide to go with Third Army as a name?

When going through the fandom and the petitions, a lot of people claimed themselves to be a Crow or a Darkling fan. But the fact that all these souls came together to fight for one goal made me believe there should be a united name that could be showcased and witnessed at the forefront of the campaign.

I knew "First Army" and "Second Army" being a part of the Grishaverse world, so I contemplated as to what or who might be the "Third Army" if that was ever a possibility and the first element that emerged into my mind was the fandom. The fandom is the Third Army.

What has been your favorite initiative by the campaign so far? Is there anything you'd like to see in the future?

That's a good question. The fundraiser for the billboard just showed how many people believed in the project to such an extent that they were actively ready to pitch in their own money for the launch.

I do not have a favorite initiative because I believe that even if one of the campaigns is initiated by someone with the best of their interests, it already goes into my favorite book. So, all of them?

I'm not aware of all the initiatives currently being partaken within this specific campaign but I absolutely love seeing people cosplay and talk about their favorite book characters.

The petition as well. I just checked and it has over 200,000 signatures. That's a lot!

What impact do you think having a name to unite fans has had on the campaign?

All of the popular fandoms have a highly recognizable name. Swifties, Arinators, Barbz, Army (BTS). We say the name, and the project/artist's face subconsciously appears in our mind.

You instantly know the artist and the project by the fandom's name. For instance, what comes to your mind when I say the words Potterheads, Half-Bloods/Demigods, Ringers, Thronies?

Potterheads for the fascinating world of Harry Potter, Half-Bloods/Demigods for the Percy Jackson fans, Ringers for lovers of The Lord of The Rings franchise, and so on. The name instantly affiliates a fandom with the project.

I know it's a very strange thing to say, but to me personally, a fandom also sometimes feels like a citizenship. As if you're an official member of the particular fictional world.

You have interviewed several Shadow and Bone cast members. Can you tell us a bit about what that was like? How did you prepare for those interviews, and are there any anecdotes you can share that didn't make it into the final published versions for brevity's sake?

I do believe fandom names are very impactful as it is showcased at the forefront of the project and affiliates the love and passion of all the souls who admire the work of the cast and the crew. And that's exactly what the Third Army has been doing so far!

It was a surreal experience.

There wasn't any question that I believe was left out from my interviews. Everything is out there just the way the initial interviews were conducted. It was an honor to have had a conversation with such phenomenal people. All of them were very kind and very insightful regarding their experience on the project.

I was given access to the screeners of the second season, and I based my questions on things I really wanted to ask the creatives about their performance.

At that time, there weren't any interviews out since the second season had not been launched yet, so I crafted the questions I believed I really wanted to know more about at that specific moment and hopefully ask some novel questions that weren't already thrown their way previously.

As a journalist, what's your opinion on the media’s reaction and coverage of our campaign and the cancellation?

It's actually quite a lot. Especially for a fandom initiative, I do believe a lot of phenomenal journalists and media platforms have conveyed a plethora of coverage pertaining to the unfortunate cancellation.

Everyone affiliated with this project, be it the cast, crew or even the fandom have showcased massive strength and opened up a potential turmoil for several decision-makers, further forcing them to take a second look. Just shows how impactful a united fandom can be.

As we speak, there are still many more such significant pieces coming to light.

Which part of the campaign do you think has had the biggest impact on visibility and public perception so far?

For me as an outsider, I definitely noticed the petition and the billboards that were launched in Los Angeles and London. Those were the two that come to my mind, but I've seen some posts about origami and fan-books too, which seems so kind!

I also notice so many beautiful fan cosplays, artwork, book posts and other impeccable creative endeavors that people and fans like to immerse themselves into using the world of Grishaverse. That's so cool!

Showrunner Eric Heisserer recently attended his studio meetings for Shadow and Bone wearing a Third Army badge. Coincidentally, our Discord server also has a permanent "Third Army" role for all the members. Also, Jessie Mei Li mentioned to fans at a recent convention that they absolutely loved the Third Army name! How do you feel knowing that the name you coined and bestowed upon the fandom has gotten such acknowledgements?

Oh, wow. That's so interesting. That's something I definitely didn't know! I was made aware of the Third Army badges being used during one of the conventions but not about the other lovely acknowledgements. That's a massive milestone for the term.

Very grateful for that, but I really do believe it should be the entire fandom getting the credit—not me. I'm just a journalist who came up with a name that I believed aligned more with the fandom of this amazing fantasy project.

I have personally witnessed the dedication and immense passion each and every fan has committed to the show and its hopeful renewal, so I think we should be celebrating such an established fanbase and the success of a massive campaign like this. Thank you to everyone who used the name! And all the best for your future! Hopefully, we get to hear some good news really soon! And thank you for having me!

Subscribe to our Brekkin' News fan newsletter for exclusive articles, interviews and campaign strategy updates delivered straight to your inbox every week!

[meiishu]

i have a theory on wylan and kaz in shadow and bone (the show)

Contains major spoilers for six of crows book if you havent read that and dont want spoilers about wylans backstory keep scrolling!

Rewatching episode 2 and im at the scene where the crows are at the diner, and kaz is teling the others that they cant just kill rollins. When kaz says “killing him wont clear our names…. and then we wont be able to protect you” he looks right at wylan who flinches back. I didnt catch it on my first watch (interpreted it as him talking to both wylan and nina in general) but now my brain is whirring

I think that, if we get the ice court heist, we are going to learn that wylan struck a deal with kaz for protection when he left his fathers home. If they stick as close to the book as possible for his backstory, then wylans dad tried to have him killed because he was in jan van ecks words “an embarrassment”. So when wylan escapes his fathers hired hands in the books he is protected by kaz *because* kaz knows who he is and decides to enlist the dregs protection on him since he thinks a merchers son could be useful

However

In the show, kaz doesnt run the dregs, i believe he just ran the crow club (evidenced by him first meeting and striking a deal with per husksoll in the early episodes of season 2). He wouldn’t have had the means or the power to just decide to protect this random boy who showed up in the barrel without a reason for it, even if he thought he might be useful someday

So i believe in the show, after he escaped his fathers hired help, wylan found kaz and struck a deal with him for protection from his father. And so in exchange, kaz can go to wylan for the bombs he needs, even though wylan doesn’t *really* want to help because he doesnt like what kaz uses them for. This would set up:

A) kaz knows wylans true identity. Hes always known since before even season one and also this is how kaz and wylan are already on personal terms AND how kaz knows he can trust the things wylan makes for him despite wylan’s reluctance to help

B) wylan’s hostage moment in the ice court heist. Although in the books its kind of surprising to the whole crows that jan van eck actually doesnt miss or care about wylan, the show could deviate slightly from this, or kaz could figure out the truth but not tell anyone and use it as his plan to expose jan van eck especially if jan tries to pull the pity card for his son

C) when it does come out that wylan is a van eck, especially since jesper doesnt know, when jesper finds out that kaz knew the whole time i can see that causing a huge rift between them, especially if kaz planned to use wylan as bait and *especially* if wesper is in an established relationship. Not only would jesper be upset if wylan volunteered himself for this, but that kaz even tried this at all when he knows that wesper is together. It will feel like such a betrayal to jesper. *especially* if the show has kaz almost coerce wylan *into* being bait — although i lean more towards wylan volunteering himself because i feel as though he would do that knowing kaz’s plan. Plus, wylan and kaz working together to one up jan??? PLEASE

Sorry for ranting on main cant help it im in shadow and bone brainrot i need the ice court heist and wylans backstory SO BADLY s&b NEEDS to be renewed

Also i just want to say that i highkey LOVE that wesper will be an established relationship going into the ice court heist. We have slow burn with kanej and helnik and certain scenes will hit so much harder with wesper as an established relationship. I cant wait to see how the show takes their story from here tbh since now we’re very deviating away from the books

[ell0ra-br3kk3r-writes]

The Phoenix and the Crow

part eight

pairing: (hinted) kaz brekker x fem!reader

genre: netural... maybe a tiny bit of angst?

el's thoughts: supriseee part eight!! i still can't believe i've written this much so far haha i love this part cause of y/n and zoya! i hope y'all like it too! please remember to leave comments and reblog :)

masterlist

A knocking on the thick wooden door of her room startled Y/N as she was splashing her face with water from the wash basin. “Yes?”

“Downstairs now. Your country needs saving.” Kaz’s voice was muffled through the door. Y/N’s eyebrows furrowed in curiosity, “I’ll be down shortly.” She finished getting ready and tied her hair up before leaving her room and walking downstairs. The moment she spotted Kaz and Nina sitting at a table with two others whose back was facing her, she froze. She’d recognize the back of that head anywhere.

“Zoya Nazalensky. Well, I’ll be damned.” The inferni could feel the dramatic eye roll she received in return as she walked to the table. “Old friend, how are you?”

“Y/N L/N. Thought you’d be six feet under by now.” Her tone held a biting sting to it, but the inferni knew her too well to take it seriously.

“Always a pleasure, Nazalensky.” She pursed her lips in faux disdain before breaking into a smile. 

Nina looked between the two etherealki with a wide smile, “Oh it’s like we’re in the Little Palace all over again. Isn’t this nice?” 

Kaz’s glare didn’t lighten up as he glanced at all three grisha women with the sharpest side eye Y/N had ever seen. She moved to stand behind the Heartrender and placed her hands on her shoulders. “So what’s this I hear about my country needing saving?” She shot a quick teasing glance to Kaz before directing her attention back to the topics at hand.

Zoya cleared her throat, “We need you lot to get us the Neshyenyer.”

Nina scoffed, “The Neshyenyer? Sankta Neyar’s blade?”

“So, you haven’t completely forgotten what you were taught at the Little Palace.” The Squaler leaned back in her chair with her arms folded in front of her. “Just your loyalty to Ravka.”

“Ravka? Or Kirigan?” Both older grisha stiffened at the name. “It didn’t take him destroying a city for me to question my loyalty.” 

Y/N pulled back at the sharp words that fell from Nina’s lips. She knew she should’ve run far before Alina came to the Little Palace, and she was ashamed to say how long it took for her to finally think over her loyalties. 

Jesper cleared his throat, “So, now that we all know that you two have history, what’s the payment for this job?”

The Shu man finally spoke, “Name your price. It matters that much.”

“Who are you?” The inferni questioned.

“Toyla Yul-Bataar. Member of Prince Nikolai’s personal guard.”

Nina opened the letter handwritten by the prince of Ravka himself. Everyone looked over her shoulder to read it. 

“Is that the Lantsov family crest?” Wylan asked.

“You know it is because it’s hideous.”

Y/N snorted but collected herself quickly.

“Prince Nikolai requests your services to retrieve and deliver the Neshyener to Alina Starkov in East Ravka.” Toyla said.

Nina looked up, “She’s returned?”

“As has the Darkling. With an indestructible army of shadow monsters.” Zoya stared directly at Y/N as she spoke. 

“I don’t like the sound of that.” Jesper took another sip of his drink.

Y/N shook her head in denial, “That can’t be. We saw him in the Fold. Zoya you were there, he-”

“We didn’t see his body. He’s back, Y/N and he’s stronger now. Or so he seems to be with these new puppets of his. That’s why Alina needs the blade to kill them. It’s the only thing that might work.”

Toyla spoke, “Retrieve the blade and the Prince will pay whatever you ask.”

“I like the sound of that.” Jesper downed the rest of his glass.

Zoya turned from the zemini to Kaz, “I assume the same goes for you?” He nodded, “I’d welcome the chance to help your prince spend his country’s money.”

“I don’t need kruge. I need to get someone out of Hellgate. The Lantsovs, they must be able to pull strings with the Kerch government.” Nina vocalized her thoughts.

“For a certain Fjerdan?” Zoya’s tone held a smugness to it. She smiled, “He must be quite the slab of fur.”

Toyla stepped in, “The offer is the offer. Prince Nikolai is a man of his word.”

“But we need to go now.” Zoya’s voice turned assertive. 

“It’s settled,” Kaz folded his arms, “We’re in.”

“And your Wraith?” The squaller asked, “I was expecting to see her.”

“She’s gone.”

“No, she’s not. Not yet. She’s-”

“Not an option.” Dirtyhands threw the sharpshooter a glare, ending the discussion then and there.

~

“The Neshyenyer at Ahmrat Jen is definitely a fake.” Kaz limped towards the group standing around the bar. Zoya rolled her eyes, “Which we told you. Perhaps now you tell us something we didn’t know?”

“According to my contacts, it’s been stolen by a thief known as The Disciple. He had a penchant for stealing Saint-related relics while on jobs.”

Y/N hummed, “A thief and a collector.”

“And retired.” Kaz made eye contact with her briefly. “But he has since put a few pieces of his collection on the black market.”

Toyla nodded, “So, to get to him, we go to his fence.”

“Ohval Saran. She has a tea shop in Bhez Ju. To speak to her, we’re going to have to order yellow chrysanthemum tea, off menu.”

Nina turned to the shu and repeated the type of tea in his mother tongue. “It pairs well with sesame rice cakes.” He told her. Nina smiled, “Let’s discuss.” She walked to him, “Tell me more.”

Kaz shoved passports into Wylan and Y/N’s hands before walking to Jesper and Inej.

Zoya placed a hand on Y/N’s arm, “You look ill, L/N. Don’t tell me you’ve been holding back on your practicing now.”

The latter sighed, “If only you’d’ve known what we’ve been up to. I haven’t had the chance to use my power lately. I didn’t think it was that noticeable.”

“It wouldn’t be to just anyone, but I’ve seen you at your strongest. No one else here could say the same now could they?”

The inferni smiled, “I’ve missed you.”

“It hasn’t even been a few weeks since you saw me last.” Zoya rolled her eyes fondly, “You’re just dramatic.”

“Only for you, my love.” Y/N threw a wink at her as she got up to go pack her things.

~

Shu Han was a colorful city, always bright and full of light. It was a stark difference from Ketterdam and Y/N was loving it. Walking the streets she could smell all the different street foods and incense floating through the air.

Toyla walked to an altar that had candles and burning sticks of incense. Inej, Zoya, and Y/N followed shortly, all wishing to pay their respects to their lost loved ones. Toyla said his prayers in shu and the girls just knelt before the altar.

“When the fold moved, your aunt…” Nina sat down beside the squaller. Zoya avoided her gaze and that was all Nina needed as an answer. “Zoya, I’m so sorry.”

The suli shook her head, “Who here hasn’t lost someone?”

Both Y/N and Zoya leaned forward to grab the burning sticks and held them to the flame, saying their prayers.

Kaz, Wylan, and Jesper stood at a distance watching the others perform their religious rituals in patience. That only lasted so long before Kaz walked to the four girls still kneeling. “You two, we have a teatime to make.” Nina and Inej quickly stood, following Kaz down the street.

Y/N’s eyes strayed to follow the all-black silhouette before it got lost in the crowd. 

“So, Brekker?” Zoya stood and dusted her skirt off, waiting for Y/N to rise as well. The inferni looked at her sharply, “I don’t know what you're talking about. I hardly know the man.” 

“You don’t have to know him to fancy him.” Zoya nudged the y/h/c-haired girl as they walked from stand to stand looking at all the foods and sweets. 

“I’ve been with these people for hardly a few weeks now, Zoya.”

“But he’s caught your eye, yes?” 

The lack of response caused the suli to snicker. “Well, once this war is over you’ll have plenty of time to get to know him.”

Y/N shook her head, “Who said I’d be going back to the Barrel? You brought it up yourself, loyalties. Ravka is my home. She’s my country, and I’ll serve her till my dying breath.”

“You’ve done beyond enough for Ravka and you know it. No one would blame you even now if you decided not to fight or come back home. You need to go and make a life for yourself. You above anyone deserves that.” Zoya rested her hand on her friend’s shoulder.

“I’m not the only one who deserves peace. I would blame myself for not helping my country. I don’t do anything to meet the expectations of others, you above all people should know that by now.” Y/N turned her head and saw Toyla waving them over to where he was seated. She smiled and nodded before turning back to Zoya. “I’ll think it over though. Making a life for myself, that is.”

The two grisha walked to the table Toyla sat at. “What are we watching?” Y/N followed his line of sight to see Jesper and Wylan talking at a firework stand. He chuckled, “Jesper attempt to get his man back.” Zoya rolled her eyes while Y/N hummed. 

“Toyla?” Wylan walked over calling for him, “Toyla could I get your help?”

The inferni stood on her tiptoes and looked over to Jesper mouthing ‘What happened?’ To which he just shrugged, his shoulders dropping in defeat.

The group got up to keep walking around, all looking at different stands and carts that piqued their interest. Someone shoved into her back, she turned around to tell them off but noticed the familiar black silhouette continue his way down the street, stumbling into people with every step. 

Y/N quickly followed after him, threw herself into his back to stop him in his path, and wrapped her arms under his, around his chest, pulling him into her. He thrashed in her arms as she moved him to a more secluded section of the crowded street. She released him quickly and backed away, giving him space. 

Kaz was breathless as he curled into the wall behind him. Y/N watched him carefully making sure he was alright and noticed his lack of gloves. He turned his head enough to look at her for a split second before he flinched farther away from her causing her to back up slightly and nod to herself. “I’ll be back.”

He barely heard her voice over the panic and buzzing in his mind. Flashbacks of his brother and the bloated, rubbery skin of the corpses plagued him as he tried his hardest to get control of his breathing again. His bare hands clutched the metal head of the cane, holding it tightly against his side as he slid further down the wall. His shoulders ached while the wall dug into his muscles painfully. His lungs burned from the uneven rapidness of his breath. He tried calming it by breathing in through his nose, keeping his mouth shut but that only caused his body to falter and panic more. He closed his eyes and twisted the cane between his hands feeling the metal and wood beneath his fingertips. 

He didn’t notice Y/N’s return till he finally opened his eyes and noticed that she placed his leather gloves beside him, making sure to keep her distance from him. Not sparing her a glance he picked up the gloves and held onto them for dear life, feeling as if he could finally take a proper breath. “Did Inej-”

“She followed Ohval Saran.” Y/N kept her voice low in order not to startle him again.

“And Nina?” His eyes started to clear and he was beginning to gather his senses.

“She’s fine. She’s with the others.”

He nodded and took a deep breath before looking over at the girl beside him. She looked paler than when he first met her, her fingers thinner. Overall she looked weaker. She’s a grisha. He couldn’t recall a time when she used her power since the bomb in the accounting office. He took a mental note to assign her some role so she could use and practice her power again. Despite her physically looking weaker, her eyes never let go of the same kindness that they held from when they first met. Her y/e/c-eyes sparkled with concern and care, but they didn’t smother him, making him want to push her away. No, instead he was drawn to it, and that terrified him. Never before had he felt so comfortable and relaxed in the presence of someone he didn’t know. Never before had he felt the need to constantly look over and make sure that person was alright or just simply to admire them from a distance. 

Kaz couldn’t exactly place a name to what he was feeling, but he had become a master at controlling his emotions and he will learn to rein this one in one way or another. 

~

“Ohval’s not just a fence. She’s The Disciple.” Kaz sat at the table in the center of the room with Wylan and Zoya. Nina lounged, fanning herself, on the couch with Y/N while Toyla stood next to them and Inej sat on a stool behind Zoya. Jesper closed the doors to the room for privacy.

“What… What tipped you off?” Wylan asked.

“Her tea cup. When she set it down, she did so without a sound.”

“And her heartbeat never fluctuated once. It held at one beat a second like a clock.” Nina sat up straight causing Y/N to lean closer and fix her skirt.

“So, she can control her heart rate and her emotions.” Toyla held out his bag of walnuts to the two grisha on the couch, each taking one. 

“Those are useful skills for a thief,” Wylan noted.

“Now’s the part where you tell us where the blade is.” Jesper spoke cooly as he leaned on the wall closer to Inej. 

“Ohval has it. Her signal to the waitress to spill tea on me told me as much.” He clutched his cane a bit tighter. “It’s as if I know you.” The zemmini smirked. Kaz ignored him and continued, “And if she’s not going to sell it to us, we’ll just have to take it. After Nina and I ordered the tea, I had Inej follow the tea shop employee who was sent to notify Ohval.”

“She lives just outside the city. When she stopped at the tea shop, she placed an order at the apothecary that she’ll be picking up tonight. I watched her home for a while and no one came or went except her.” Inej said while twirling her butterfly knife between her fingers.

“So, while she’s out of the house, Nina will tail her to make sure she stays out of the house. The rest of us will go in and grab the blade.” 

Once Kaz finished speaking Zoya scoffed, “You don’t seriously expect me to break into this woman’s house.”

“Uh, why do you think we’re here?” Jesper asked jeeringly. 

The squaller turned around in her seat to face him, “I’m a soldier, not a thief. Why else would I need you, criminals?” 

Y/N chuckled, “There’s much less of a difference there than you think.”

Zoya rolled her eyes and said, “I’ll go with Nina.” Making the heartrender choke on her snack and quickly clear her throat. “Are you sure you don’t need me?” She asked Kaz. “I mean, Zoya can tail Ohval.”

“Nina and Zoya will wait for Ohval at the apothecary. Follow her. If she starts heading home, buy us some time. Distract her.”

~*~

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[sixofcrowdaydreams]

Shadow and Bone: A Long Form Story in A Short Story Medium

One of the reasons the cancellation of Shadow and Bone hurt so much was because we spent two seasons properly developing the characters -- especially the Crows -- waiting for plot and character development that never had the time to pay off.

The writers wrote the show as if they would have time to introduce the characters and let them grow across multiple episodes and seasons. A smidge of characterization here. Plot. A dash of development there... They were telling a long form story, you know, as expected in television. And the reality is that streaming platforms in their limited episode number and even more restrictive number of seasons does not allow for slow but progressive story telling anymore.

Streaming story telling is short and concise. It demands self contained short stories and caps character growth to a single season, if not a single episode.

That's why it hurts so much that we never saw the six Crows together. Two seasons of establishing character, slowly but steadily setting up the plot, building toward the Ice Court Heist and subsequent events of Crooked Kingdom would be expected in a "normal TV series." But the mentality of streaming services is that if it doesn't happen in a single episode or season, then it won't happen at all.

Think of all the things in Shadow and Bone that were hinted but not directly addressed. Kaz stealing Jan Van Eck's DeKappel painting. Inej getting a lead on the name of the slavers that stole her from her family. Jesper's gambling addiction. Wylan's inability to read, but still being well educated. Matthias' affection for wolves and the importance of his ash tree. Nina defecting from Ravka.

All of these would have been addressed later if given the time.

Now think of all of the things that were hinted at and then the show came back and properly addressed within two seasons. Kaz's backstory, his gloves and haphephobia. Inej's indenture to the Menagerie and her desire for freedom not only for herself, but for other indentures. Jesper happily sharing a bed with a pretty face only to wind up in a stable relationship with a former one night stand. These story beats paid off because their progression felt natural. Earned. Elements were introduced and built upon.

Now imagine what could have been. Established big eater Nina refusing food as she recovers from parem. Former grisha hunter Matthias protecting Jesper and Kuwei, two grisha. Kaz removing his gloves and emotional armor for Inej. Jesper's carefree facade a mask to cover his personal pain and gambling addiction. Wylan's merchling identity revealed. Heck, let's take it a step farther and imagine the scared, hunched shoulders, trying to shrink himself as much as physically possible Wylan we first meet in season 2 bravely standing in front of his father and the merchant council to "read" a transfer of property document. The groundwork laid seasons 1 and 2 would have established these significant moments in order to give them the full weight and authority the deserved.

When fans mention scenes or dialog from the books that were bastardized in the show, like the Kanej bathroom scene taking place at Black Veil only to be interrupted by Nina, I'm not angry that scene wasn't a perfect replica of the scene from the book. Why? Because we were also supposed to get that perfect bathroom scene adaption one day and compare it to the earlier version to show character growth. Kaz unable to take his gloves off at Black Veil to help Inej tend her wounds to THE BATHROM SCENE where he takes off his gloves, bandages her, and kisses her neck.

Imagine the impact of Jesper casually telling Wylan, "I kinda like your face," to one day yelling, "I liked your stupid face," in anguish when Wylan takes Kuwei's appearance. These build ups were happening, they just needed more time.

The problem of Shadow and Bone being canceled was that the writers were creating a long form story in a medium of short story streaming. The two were never compatible, but that's not the writers, producers, or showrunner's fault. They were telling a story and attempting to do it well, not take shortcuts and cheat via dialog exposition. If given the chance, I think the writers and everyone involved in the show would have given the Crows characters more space to breathe, to simple be characters instead of rushing from plot point to plot point. After all, they filmed the deleted scenes of Jesper's and Inej's goodbye as well Jesper offering Wylan a key and moving in together. These moments were cut for plot pacing reasons, not character development reasons.

Netflix and streaming services are the problem because they have destroyed TV's long form story telling by demanding breakneck pacing, limited seasons and episodes to tell a story. Shadow and Bone's Crows were unfortunately a casualty of it.

[imruination]

There are very few pieces of media that speak to me on what I can only describe as on a spiritual level, and one of those is Shadow and Bone, written by Leigh Bardugo. Don’t get me wrong, I adore Six of Crows and I think it’s an important story that needed to be told for so many reasons, but there’s something so special to me about the simplicity of Shadow and Bone.

When something is simple, it has to be done well. Yes, Shadow and Bone is on its surface a good vs. evil story which we have seen in media time and time again. I think what stands out to me about it is ironically why so many people call it (or specific things about it) “boring.” There are a lot of important themes, but my favorite is the emphasis that is put on the power of being “ordinary.”

I was 15 when the first book came out, and I read them as they were released. I spent a lot of my childhood reading fantasy books because escaping into them made me feel special, in a world where I felt at once completely ordinary and like a total outcast. This feeling only got worse as a teen, as I would spend a lot of my classes, and even my lunch period reading these books. I understand that this is a feeling that a lot, if not all teens feel. I am not special even in my isolation. I spent so much of my time pretending I had some incredible hidden but innate magical powers.

Shadow and Bone was incredible to me for the very reason why I constantly see it being criticized by my peers and even my friends. The idea of “power” being seductive, while also inherently being corrupt, and fueling the class system and poverty that the entire population is living under, (but Alina as the protagonist is being exposed to a lot of it’s worsts) is something the reader is constantly being reminded of.

Alina is put in a very unique situation by being a girl who holds incredible power as a grisha, but was not raised in that knowledge. To her, the power was suddenly thrust upon her, which made it a lot easier to eventually see the flaws in the entire system. So to read about this protagonist my own age, who had the option of power, was tempted by even more of it in the darkling and the amplifiers- and to give it all up in the end was mind blowing to me.

Alina goes from despising her upbringing and general hardship, to ultimately embracing the simplicity of it. Alina is THE Main character™️ and she ends up as a powerless orphan, in love with another powerless orphan she’s known her entire life. In the realm of all my fantasy books I’d been reading, there was nothing “special” about that. And yet, in it’s difference there was.

Alina’s privilege in making her own choices was special. Her choice to not be controlled by the pillars of power around her. Her choice to embrace her upbringing, and help those who will grow up the way she did. Her choice to accept the love she had had her entire life, that although was not seductive and dangerous, was reliable and enduring and all the more powerful for being that.

It is really surreal and almost funny to see it being criticized for these things now. You think Alina and Mal are boring? Well so did they. And then they grew up and learned better. This is the first book that I can think of in hindsight, that made me wonder if I actually did have this very ordinary but incredible power in myself. I have the privilege of making my own choices. I have the power to love others, and isn’t that incredible? From a person who has now grown up and gained some perspective for myself… Thank you Leigh.

[emmy-everafter]

We're Gonna Need a Bigger Pentagram

I'm excited to finally reveal the fic I've been working on for this year's @grishaversebigbang --and just in time for spooky season! I was paired with four incredible materialki who created some truly excellent art to accompany the fic. You can check out their work here:

Art by @crypitick

Art by @polekands

Art #1 and Art #2 by @idkchatie

Art by @discountscoobyart

Without further ado, here is the first chapter of We're Gonna Need a Bigger Pentagram!

Fandoms: Six of Crows, Shadow & Bone (TV)

Rating: T

Relationships: Crows as found family (with minor Helnik, Kanej, and Wesper)

Modern/Housemates/Magic AU, Nina POV, Supernatural chosen family shenanigans with a side of humor

Ongoing (Ch. 1 of 6)

Summary: Nina Zenik is a vet med student who's almost done with her clinical rotations... but she's also secretly a very powerful witch. When someone brings a cursed, injured werewolf into the animal hospital, Nina decides to try to save his life, despite the bitter hatred that exists between wolves and witches. She enlists the help of her housemates, Jesper (who's also a witch), Inej (who's fae), and Kaz (who may or may not be a vampire). But breaking this curse requires more than Nina bargained for, and time is running out. Can the Crows save the werewolf before it's too late? More importantly, can they do it under the nose of their all-too-human housemate, Wylan? And--perhaps the most important question of all--will Nina finally get some decent waffles?

Read the first chapter (3k) below or on AO3.

Chapter 1: Why did it have to be werewolves?

(CW for non-graphic mentions of blood & injury, harm to an animal, brief references to drugs [anesthesia, weed])

The thing about werewolves, Nina thought, risking one more glance over her shoulder at the slab of fur trembling in her backseat, was that they didn’t exactly sedate easily.

Although that was probably a good thing, she supposed. If this particular wolf had gone down after the first two tranquilizers, then perhaps she never would have been called back to help, and then she would have been too late to do anything. Did you hear about the wolf? Park ranger brought him in. Hit by a car, probably. Too bad we couldn’t save him. So weird how his body seemed to reject every medication, every suture. Oh well, c’est la vie, back to the horses and the goats.

But he hadn’t gone down, and one of the techs had thundered past, shouting at her to come quick and give us a hand!

When Nina had arrived in the operating room, she knew immediately that this was no ordinary wolf. She could feel the prickle of magic tingling up her spine, could smell the supernatural on him. He was stretched out on a table, a mountain of silvery-gray fur, enormous and blood-soaked, still thrashing feebly even as three techs tried to hold him down.

She froze, staring at the shape of his muzzle, the slope of his ears—just a little off, nothing to notice unless you knew what to look for. His head had flopped over, and for a long moment the werewolf made eye contact with her. Nina let out a soft gasp despite herself, despite the fact that she’d seen shifted wolves a handful of times before. She knew that their eyes always looked so unbearably human, and yet—it caught her by surprise, the moment of recognition when he noticed her, the heartbreak and terror and pain in his expression, the shame.

Nina felt her heart shatter, just a little.

“Zenik, grab the tranq!” one of the techs had shouted at her as the wolf seemed to regain more of his energy, breaking away from her gaze to thrash more earnestly.

She hadn’t bothered to think it through. While there was still some part of her that recoiled like a hissing cat at the presence of a werewolf, some part of her that screamed danger! at the sight of his gleaming fangs that had probably killed countless witches in the past, those instincts had been overwhelmed by the pain in the wolf’s eyes and the knowledge that if she didn’t do something right now, she would have to watch him die.

Her decision was already made, one hand already surreptitiously weaving the spell as she picked up the syringe with the other. She needed to work quickly if she was going to have any chance at all.

She didn’t know much about werewolf biology. The packs were notoriously private, protective of any and all information regarding their own species, but what she did know was that it was incredibly dangerous—impossible, even—for outsiders to treat wolves in their shifted forms. Only pack healers had any hope of actually helping in these sorts of situations. And, of course, the fact that this wolf was shifted right now was another complicating factor in and of itself. It wasn’t a full moon, which meant that something had gone terribly wrong for this wolf to get shift-stuck—some kind of spell, she guessed, judging by the oppressive feeling of magic roiling off his body.

If her colleagues—regular, ordinary human vets who had no idea the supernatural world existed at all—tried to help the wolf, she was certain he’d end up dead in less than an hour. But of course, she’d reminded herself as her enchantment began to take hold, I don’t know how to safely help him, either.

The wolf had finally slumped down onto the table, unconscious… followed by all of the humans in the room, each pausing in the middle of whatever they’d been doing, still standing but otherwise out cold.

Nina had shaken out her wrists, cracked her neck, and started weaving the memory glamour. Her first thought was to make them forget the wolf had come in at all, but that would mean trying to account for the lost time, as well as finding the park ranger later to erase everything for her, too. Removing memories was always trickier anyway—you ran the risk of leaving a gap, an itch that the brain longed to scratch and scratch until it found an answer. Her coworkers might not remember the wolf, but some of them might have an unshakeable sense that something had happened, something strange and noteworthy they couldn’t quite recall, and that meant people might start asking questions, poking and prodding.

No, it would be easier to convince everyone that the wolf had died from his injuries not long after arriving, that his body had already been picked up by wildlife services, that all that anyone needed to do now was complete the requisite paperwork.

It would be quick, shoddy spellwork either way, and she’d probably have to fudge some records in the database during her next shift, but figuring out a plan to save the wolf came first.

The moment the glamour was complete, she’d whipped her phone out, putting the call on speaker so she could keep her hands free.

Genya picked up after three rings. “Hey, what’s up?”

“I need a favor,” she’d said without preamble, maneuvering a trolley over towards the wolf. It had probably taken four people to lift him up onto the table, but Nina had magic and gravity on her side.

“Okay…?” Genya sounded nervous, and given the wild sorts of favors she’d asked for in the past, Nina couldn’t really blame her.

“Can you get in touch with your contact in the Drüskelle pack? Someone brought in a wolf today—one of theirs, most likely—and I can’t do much to help him when he’s shift-stuck like this.”

Genya had taken a moment to process all of that—a shifted, injured werewolf, brought into the East Ketterdam Large Animal Hospital as if he were no different from the farm animals and racing horses they usually treated—then finally said, “I can try.”

“Good. I’m bringing him back to my place. Have them send a healer there.”

Genya hung up right before Nina’s spell slipped under the wolf’s enormous weight, causing him to fall the last few inches down onto the metal trolley with a loud crash. Even unconscious, the wolf whimpered in pain.

“Sorry,” she’d whispered, before turning her attention to the problem of getting to the parking lot without being seen.

And that was how Nina had ended up driving home as fast as she dared with a werewolf bleeding out in her backseat.

Her sleep spell was fairly strong, but she had no idea how long it would last on a creature this large, so she renewed the enchantment at every red light, just in case.

She also called Inej, the normally melodic timbre of her housemate’s voice sounding tinny and distorted when routed through the car’s speakers.

“What’s wrong, Nina?”

“What makes you think anything is wrong?” She drummed her fingers nervously on the wheel and fought the urge to look back at the wolf again. He was still breathing—she could feel it—but she wanted to check anyway. Just in case.

“If nothing was wrong, you would’ve just texted.”

“Maybe I wanted to hear my best friend’s voice.”

“Nina,” Inej sighed, “just tell me.”

Nina huffed in response. “Fine. Look, is everyone at home?”

“I think so? Well, Jesper had some meetings but he’s on his way back here. He said he was gonna stop and pick up pizza for everyone.”

“Okay, if he gets back before me, I need him to start weaving some soundproofing spells in the basement. Go ahead and grab my bestiary and bring it down there, and my potions kit, too. And we’re gonna need lots of towels, as many as you can find. You’ll have to keep Wylan upstairs somehow.”

Nina hit another red light and bit her lip to reign in a frustrated groan. This is taking too long.

“It’s Thursday. Wylan’s probably planning to do his laundry tonight,” Inej replied.

“You’ll just have to think of some excuse. Tell him the machine is broken or something. But he can’t be down there.”

“And why is that, exactly?”

Cars streamed past in front of her, racing endlessly through the intersection, their light still green, Nina’s still red.

Fuck it. She raised her hands over the steering wheel and mumbled the incantation under her breath, improvising the words a little to fit the magic to the stoplight—it was technically a spell meant for turning an ordinary light on and off, but she thought it might work.

For a moment, nothing happened, and Nina worried that perhaps the stoplight mechanism had too many switches and circuits or too many digital parts for her simple spell to have any effect. She’d never been great with technomagic—as a heartrender, blood and bodies were her specialty—and the more something was computerized and complex, the harder it was for her to navigate. But then…

One last flick of her wrist, and the light for the cross traffic went yellow.

“Nina?” Inej’s voice was sharper now, closer to a warning. “What’s going on?”

Green light. Fucking finally.

“Soooo,” she began, her car surging forward again, “I may or may not be bringing work home.”

“If this is another goat, Nina, I swear…”

Nina winced. Once, she’d snuck a dying goat out of the clinic when her coworkers had decided there was nothing left to be done for the poor creature. And when it came to a human understanding of veterinary medicine, perhaps they were correct, but Nina knew she could save him with the spells in her bestiary and the power of her blood magic. She’d known her housemates wouldn’t exactly be thrilled about the situation. What she hadn’tanticipated was Jesper getting attached.

So now, Milo the goat lived in the shed beside the greenhouse, to the immense displeasure of everyone in Crow House except Jesper. When he stayed in his pen, Milo was tolerable, even adorable, but when he escaped—as he did at least two or three times a month—he became a menace, eating anything he could get his nasty little hooves on. So far, Milo’s list of victims included some of Wylan’s sheet music, one of Nina’s astrological grimoires, a pair of Inej’s pointe shoes, three pairs of Kaz’s ridiculously expensive gloves, multiple waffles, an entire carton of wontons, and some of everything that Jesper and Nina grew in the greenhouse out back, including an unholy amount of weed.

“The good news is, it’s not a goat,” Nina said brightly.

Inej heaved a resigned sigh. “And the bad news…?”

“The bad news is that it’s a werewolf.”

“Nina!” Inej groaned.

“He’s dying! And shift-stuck! What was I supposed to do?” Nina took a turn a little too hard, and in the backseat, the wolf slid and hit his muzzle against the door. Shit.

“What can you even do? You can’t treat a shifted wolf.”

“I know!” Her fingers clenched around the wheel. “Look, it’s temporary, okay? I’ve already called a friend who has contacts in the local pack. They’ll send someone to help and then it won’t be our problem anymore. We just need to keep him stable until the healer comes.”

Inej was quiet on the other end for a long moment. Eventually, she said, “Fine. I’ll see what towels I can find.”

Nina blew out her breath, relieved. “Thank you. I’ll be there in fifteen. It might be good to have some blood on hand, if Kaz has any. And make sure Wylan…”

“Yeah, I’ll keep him upstairs,” Inej interrupted. “See you soon.”

The call disconnected. Nina pressed a thumb to her temple where a headache had already started to build, rubbing the pad of her finger into the skin and releasing a small thread of magic to chase the pain away.

She knew Inej was irritated with her, but at least Nina could trust that her best friend would be on board with helping an injured creature. Inej was kind like that—compassionate, always empathetic with the pain of others. She wouldn’t just let the wolf die, even if taking him in was inconvenient in a number of ways. And Jesper probably wouldn’t mind much either. He was always down for Nina’s wild and unexpected shenanigans, as long as no harm came to his friends or to his precious hats. If all went well, Wylan would never know anything was happening. But Kaz…

Kaz is going to absolutely hate this.

The situation ticked off almost every box on the list of things Kaz didn’t like: last-minute surprises, strangers in his space, unnecessary risks, sticking his neck out for other people, making Nina happy. And while most decisions in Crow House were made democratically, Kaz remained resolutely in charge of the chore schedule, which he enforced by subtly reminding his housemates that he could drain all the money from their bank accounts—and possibly all the blood from their bodies—in the blink of an eye. Nina had a feeling there would be a lot of toilet scrubbing in her future.

She was only a few minutes away from home when her phone rang again.

“I managed to get in touch with the pack,” Genya said when she picked up.

Immediately, Nina could hear something cautious in her tone, something grim. “And?”

“They’re not sending anyone.”

“Why the hell not?” Without meaning to, Nina found herself nearly shouting.  

“Nina…”

She didn’t have to see Genya’s face to know what expression she wore in that moment—Nina had seen it too many times during her years with the Grisha to ever forget, not just from Genya but from everyone. Zoya’s infuriatingly calm voice echoed through her head, shaming her, as always, for being too fucking much, for acting recklessly from a place of emotion rather than trying to be reasonable. Slow down, Nina. Get ahold of your anger. Control yourself.

And as always, it only served to make her even more enraged.

“They’re the only ones who can help him! Are they really just going to let one of their own die?”

Genya sighed. “Yes, that’s exactly what they’re going to do. In fact, I think it was their goal all along.”

“What?” she screeched, stomping on the brakes in her anger.

Luckily, there was no one on the street behind her, although the wolf did slide forward a bit on the backseat, letting out another heart-wrenching whimper of pain.

“The guy I spoke to was being cagey about it, but I think I pieced most of the story together. The wolf is called Matthias Helvar, and the Drüskelle exiled him from their pack about a month ago.”

“Why?” Nina made no move to start driving forward again, not trusting herself to keep control of the car in that moment.

“I’m not sure. It sounds like he broke pack law, screwed up badly enough that they not only kicked him out but also cursed him.”

Cursed? Nina glanced over her shoulder at the shivering, unconscious wolf, covered in congealing blood that clumped in his fur and stained the fabric of the seat below him, and she suddenly understood.

“That’s why he’s shift-stuck,” she murmured, shocked by the cruelty of it.

“From what I gather, it’s some kind of… werewolf reversal? Where he’s only in his human form on the full moon and stays shifted the rest of the time, instead of the other way around. Apparently, he followed one of their hunting parties down to Ketterdam and was trying to sneak into their camp. When they chased him off, he ran onto the highway and got hit by a semi-truck.”

“So they already knew he was injured?”

Genya’s voice was quiet when she replied, “Nina, they left him for dead.”

Nina knew all too well what it was like to be betrayed and abandoned by the people who were supposed to be your family, but this… She shook her head, angry tears pricking at her eyes. This wolf—this Matthias—had been exiled, cursed, and left to die on the side of a highway by his own pack. Surely, no transgression against Drüskelle law was awful enough to merit that kind of punishment, right?

Faint memories of her lessons at the Little Palace began to trickle in—diagrams in textbooks illustrating the cold, draconian hierarchies of the Northern packs, lectures about wolf culture that devolved into tirades about the Drüskelle’s violent attempts to destroy not only the Grisha organization, but all witches everywhere, fueled by their hypocritical ideology that saw werewolves as the next step in evolution but witches as an unnatural abomination to be cleansed from the earth like a plague. The wolves are not like us, she remembered hearing, over and over. They did not come from the Other Realm but instead began as humans, and like humans, they cannot be trusted.  

Nina had spent the past few years trying to unlearn the prejudice and cynicism instilled in her at the Little Palace, with varying levels of success, but now, she wondered if perhaps they’d been right about some things.

“What are you going to do?” Genya asked.

“I don’t know,” she replied, trying—and likely failing—not to sound too murderous. “I’ll figure something out.”

“Just remember that he’s a wolf, Nina.”

“Does that mean he deserves to die?” she snapped in response.

“No, but he probably thinks that you do, just by virtue of existing as a witch. He may not want your help, and even if you do somehow manage to save him, he might very well kill you in your sleep instead of saying thank you.”

Nina knew she was probably right, and yet… This is why I left—so I could help everyone, not just the people that the Grisha think are worth saving.

“I can handle myself. And I’m not going to sink to their level. Unlike some people, I’m not obsessed with only protecting my own kind.”

With that, Nina hung up and disconnected the phone from the car’s bluetooth, and then, for good measure, put her phone on silent and tossed it into her bag in the passenger seat. She knew she wasn’t being fair, especially since Genya was one of the only people in the Grisha still willing to help her now that she’d gone independent. But it was hard not to be angry when she could hear Matthias’s heartbeat fluttering dangerously just a few feet behind her, could feel his nerves sparking with pain, knowing that his own family had let it happen, caused it to happen, because of one mistake.

It was hard not to relate—even if that meant empathizing with a damn werewolf.  

A sudden honk behind her reminded Nina that she was still stopped in the middle of the road.

“Alright, I’m going! Saints.” She finally lifted her foot from the brake and got the car moving again, squeezing the wheel tightly to stop her hands from trembling. Her headache was already coming back—she’d probably need to take one of those human painkillers when she got home and conserve her magical energy for… well, for whatever it was going to take to help this wolf.

Maybe Matthias wouldn’t want her help. Maybe he would try to attack her (although in that case, she could always sic Kaz on him). Maybe she wouldn’t be able to do anything at all and the wolf would die in their basement amongst the piles of Jesper’s dirty laundry and Inej’s sweat-soaked practice mats.

But Nina Zenik had never once backed down from a challenge. She’d been top of her class in vet school for three years in a row and was the best heartrender the Little Palace had seen in more than a century—even Zoya had admitted it. And if there was any chance at all of saving this wolf, nothing in this realm or the next could stop Nina from trying…

Not even her housemates. 

[iamthecomet]

@purlty23 tagged me in This game and I'm super excited about it! (I tried to reblog the original post and just tack on but tumblr hates me)

Thanks Blue, this was so fun!

I'm tagging: @amara-among-the-stars, @mac-and-thefox, @littlemoon-beam, @divine-misfortune and whoever else also wants to expose their sins to the internet. Under the cut, because LONG.

Xena Warrior Princess - Passive Enjoyer Only passive because I was too young to be anything else. Barely counts, except that this show was my first real obsession so I have to include it. I dressed up as Xena for halloween when I was like…5. The pictures are incredible.

Good Charlotte - Mostly passive As is a trend with a lot of these, I wrote a little fan fic, and daydreamed a thousand scenarios, but never shared any of it. I was mildy obsessed with Benji Martin, but I didn't really get involved beyond that.

LOTR - Creative Enjoyer The first fan-fic I ever posted on the internet (I was twelve, people were mean). I didn't make any friends within the fandom. But I was so determined to write for it that I had an entire novel planned out--that eventually became an original book idea instead.

Harry Potter- Mostly Passive I read a lot of HP fanfic, but not as much as others. I didn't get involved in online conversations. I did dabble in writing some fics that I hid from the world and never finished.

The Boston Red Sox - Creative Enjoyer Ok. Now you know why I said I was exposing myself. Look I was like 12-14. My best friend and I filled entire notebooks with our MANY chaptered fic that spanned the entire 2004 Red Sox Season, that we started the day they won the world series that year. We hand wrote it all, I transcribed it into my computer where it still exists somewhere. It was our EVERYTHING. And it has never (and will never) see the light of day. I may have posted some Red Sox fic on the internet in my Live Journal days, and I made a bunch of online friends within that community, but they never saw THE fic.

Rammstein - Creative Enjoyer Again, my best friend and I had a notebook with a long form rammstein fic in. We didn't go as far with this one. And I didn't get involved in any online communities. Though, our love for Rammstein lived a lot longer than our fic writing did.

Twilight - Creative Enjoyer In that I wrote and posted a single fic about Alice.

Lost - Passive Enjoyer. I read a billion Skate fics. Probably thought about writing my own, but I don't think I ever actually did. Was obsessed with this show until the last season. I still have never seen the last episode.

Vampire Academy (THE BOOKS) - Passive Enjoyer. Not a lot online. Read some fic. Was so obsessed with this book that I started to write a fanfic where we got to see some of the story from Dimitri's persepective and accidentally created and entire new plot and new characters and accidentally created my own CHILD of an original novel because of it.

Grishaverse (Shadow and Bone/Six of Crows/Rule of Wolves) - Passive Enjoyer Loved these books. Loved every single character. Read as much fanfic as I could find. Accidentally spoiled a death in one of the books with fanfiction.

Avenged Sevenfold - Creative Enjoyer Short lived. Read some INCREDIBLE fics on the basically defunct site Mibba and thought "I can do that" and was fighting for my life in college. Wrote a few chapters of a fic. Got decent feedback. Got bored immediately.

Supernatural - passive enjoyer Read some fic. Took me like 15 tries to actually get through the whole show. Adored it, never went very far with it.

Marvel (Specifically The Winter Soldier) - Passive Enjoyer. I should have been a creative enjoyer, but was too afraid to write anything or put myself out there. (I spent all of my time after high school/college thinking that fanfic was a waste of time and I should never write it because I needed to be serious. What a waste). Still mildly obsessed with BuckyNat. I adore Bucky and Black Widow. If they put out another good movie I could see myself falling down that rabbit hole and actually letting myself land. The trailer for The Winter Soldier changed my brain chemistry (nevermind the whole move).

Fallout 4 - Passive Enjoyer I could read Sole Survivor/Paladin Danse fics every day forever. I know that's insane. Stop looking at me like that.

Ghost - Creative Enjoyer. Finally allowed myself to write whatever the fuck I want and have fun with it and it has changed my entire fucking life. Wish I'd done it sooner. So glad I got to do it now and with all of you. ♥

[halfbakedspuds]

Thanks to @orion-lacroix for the tag! I was gonna get to it earlier but... life happened and I forgor.

Eto bleh. Anyways.

(Also I'm writing this while incredibly tired, so I'm sorry if my English isn't up to scratch)

Writeblr Questionaire

How long have you had your Writeblr/writing Tumblr?

I've had this Tumblr account since the beginning of lockdown (March/April 2020 by us) and I created it because of a PM Seymour video. I made like one post that has now been banished to the void, then forgot I even had a Tumblr account until about ¿June/July? last year when a friend of mine brought up the idea of using Tumblr to share her writing, and I decided to do the same.

What's one thing you'd like your mutuals to know about you?

Due to reasons that include but are not limited to me barely having time anymore, I have a tendency to sometimes take a while to reply to people on here.

Don't worry if it takes like a week for me to respond, I'm just like that sometimes.

What's your favourite thing about the Writeblr community?

The amount of people who are infinitely more skilled than me that I can learn and take inspiration from.

Which WIPs or Writing Projects have you been Noodling about recently?

I've had a few emotional scenes for the Tempest Prince brewing in my head (plus I have like an hour with nothing to do after every exam I write, so daydreaming it is)

I'm also somewhat noodling for a small game I'm working on as a side project, but that's less story-related and more technical shenanigans at this point.

Do you remember what inspired them/got you started?

Children of the Stars I don't remember exactly what inspired the story aspect, but I know what the setting evolved from. Basically, I was a huge Mass Effect fan in primary school. Actually, I was a fan of Scifi overall but Mass Effect was peak gaming for me back then. Then somewhere along the line I played Bulletstorm and Warhammer 40k: Space Marine, and this half daydream of an Alien Empire locked in an eternal war for survival began to evolve in the back of my head before turning into the first recognisable precursor to Children of the Stars somewhere in late 2021.

Echoes of Shadows was inspired by the game Tails Noir, Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo, and a Call of Cthulhu campaign run by a friend of mine way back when.

The Tempest Prince was originally conceived of because my first playthrough of Bloodborne coincided with my first reading of the Percy Jackson books.

Is there anything you'd like to see more of on your dash?

Comics and short stories. Look, I don't have time to read a full length book until, like, November again, so a little episodic escape is a nice way to detox from the crap we need to deal with for these exams.

Name any characters you've created: side characters, protagonists, antagonists, characters who've never been written, the first original abomination you pulled from your rear... whatever you like!

Artemis is a Siberian ARX-11 mechanized shock-drop trooper who was deployed in a conflict so violent that future historians in-universe consider it less of a war than a outright cataclysm.

Quite literally, like the humble sea-turtle: she was born feet first into a hell she never asked for.

She's also one of the incredibly few Androids who not only survived the Fall of Earth, but after her inevitable 'death' by running out of fuel sources, she managed to remain intact for another six hundred years before a Union archaeology team found her and her enclave and managed to restore some of them to working order.

How much time- in your best estimation- do you spend thinking about them?

Outside the story of Children of Strife, this also makes her one of the oldest sentient beings in the known universe and technically the great great grandmother of almost all modern Androids and Biosynths.

It's also rumoured that she helped to raise a child orphaned during the fall of Earth who would grow up to be the military advisor of the first Empress, which technically makes her an important theological figure in the (now dying) Imperial cult.

Yes

Who's the most unhinged?

See, I'd say Adrian from Children of the Stars because he has a tendency to just do shit that makes you worry about his safety, but the thing with him is that he is fully aware of what he's actually capable of and is very cautious to not overstep those limits.

Lyanni, However...

One of Adrian's many nicknames for her is Miragran, which is Callistoan for "Big miracle", because that's what it must've taken for her to have not gotten herself killed yet.

Who comes the most naturally for you to write?

The fact that the answer is Adrian Castellan does not speak kindly about my mental health, does it...

Do you ever cringe at them?

How much control do you have over your characters? Do they ever write themselves, refuse to co-operate or do things you didn't expect? To what extent?

Not really.

Well, except for Adrian being a typical 27th century child who has no conception of sexism/racism/homophobia etc. beyond it being a footnote in a half-forgotten history textbook, which puts him in situations where it takes him a minute or two to realise that someone's being a prick to Lyanni.

I'd say I have relatively decent control over them. With the exception of the Haliday brothers in the Tempest Prince, 'cause they speak the same dialect of English as I do but I need to dial it back a bit because what's understandable for us has moments where it barely looks like English to foreigners.

And every so often I need to go back and un-Saffa their lines a bit because guess what? My dialect is annoyingly insistent on manifesting itself in these characters.

Are some less co-operative than others?

The old version of Adrian's character was really damn uncooperative. Like, he kept feeling like he was sitting on a story that he couldn't tell, and that was why he kept feeling like he was acting wrong no matter what I wrote him doing.

His current iteration tells that story in a way, and that element of tragedy playing into who he is has made him a lot more co-operative.

When someone asks the dreaded "What do you write about?" question, what do you usually say?

See, most people who know that I write are either close friends who already know what I write, or don't care enough to ask.

My grandmother, however, did ask the one time. That was also the day I realised that I know absolutely no scifi terminology in my home language.

Do you enjoy people asking questions about your characters and do you have a preferred way of receiving said questions?

Listen, if you wrote the question as a note, folded it into a paper airplane and threw it through my window, I'd firstly be very concerned about how in the nine hells you figured out where I live, then I'd be utterly ecstatic for the rest of the day because someone asked me a question.

I keep all my socials separate, though, so if you have any questions then asks, comments, and reblogs on Tumblr are pretty much the only way to go.

What makes you follow another Writeblr account? Do you follow them as you see them? Scope them out first to make sure you align with its content? Or do you follow based on WIPs or vibes?

Imma be honest there are like two people on here whom I followed simply because I know them IRL, and like three total writeblrs whom I followed first.

Everyone else followed me and I said "Ey, sha'p," before following back.

Do you interact with non-mutuals often?

I try to.

Do your mutuals' OCs occupy a space in your Noodle?

Absolutely!

No pressure tag for @honeybewrites and @thatoneterrariaplayers-vault,

[poorlittlegreenie13]

Greenie's Masterlist — Come & join the party <3

About Me:

Hi! My name is Greenie, which is a reference from David Bowie's song The Jean Genie which has the lyric "Poor little Greenie" in it.

I'm a 20-something lesbian virgo, triple earth sign, eternal-student, Donna Tartt enthusiast, 90's alt rock enthusiast, record-collector, & fic writer <3.

This blog doesn't have a specific theme... I go wherever the muses take me. Below you'll find links to & descriptions of all of my fics sorted by fandom.

Link to my AO3

Stories:

The Bear:

Rules For (fake) Dating an Italian 🇮🇹 - Sydney/Carmy. In progress.

WANTED: Female, aged 20-30, to be my date for Christmas eve dinner with my Italian family. Must be willing to eat my mom’s cooking. No physical intimacy required. No strings attached—I will drive you home after. 4pm-10pm, 12/24. Salary negotiable. Call Carmen: (773) 555-0901.

OR: The one in which Sydney just needs a job, and Carmy will die before he proves Richie right.

Yellowjackets:

Wretched Things 🔥 - Jackie/Shauna, Taissa/Van, Lottie/Natalie. Complete, WC: 260K

It’s been five years since Shauna Sadecki volunteered for Jackie Taylor at the Reaping and won the 45th Hunger Games. Now, at the second annual Quarter Quell, everyone who has been previously Reaped is eligible to be thrown back into the arena. That includes former best friends Lottie and Natalie, and former lovers Van and Taissa.

(aka, me offering up another Yellowjackets Hunger Games AU)

The Killing of a Sacred Doe 🦌 - Lottie/Natalie, Jackie/Shauna, (minor Tai/Van, minor Natalie/Shauna). In progress.

|| Inspired by The Secret History by Donna Tartt || (but can be read without having read TSH)

By every metric that matters, Natalie Scatorccio should not have been admitted to Wiskayok Conservatory for The Arts. She didn’t have the test scores, or the tuition money, or any particular talent or ambition that might have made her a promising asset for a conservatory to acquire. She did have a drinking problem, a dead father, and no other option. So sure, why not art school? It was better than rehab. Or jail. 

let the light in 🖤 - Van/Taissa. Complete, WC: 5k.

“Take me home, please, Van.”

Taissa’s words are soft. Not a question, just a destination. They have always been heading here.

(Post finale getting-back-together fic)

Six of Crows / Shadow & Bone:

angelum mortis amo 🪽 - Jesper/Wylan. Complete, WC: 45k.

Jesper and Wylan are both hitmen from rival gangs. Wylan tries to kill Jesper. It goes about as well as you might expect.

(Featuring crazy-in-love Wylan Van Eck, flirting-at-gunpoint Jesper Fahey, and mob boss Kaz Brekker).

Show Me Yours 🐦‍⬛ - Jesper/Wylan. Complete, WC: 20k.

Wylan's past abuse hovers over him like a shadow. Jesper's gambling addiction binds him like a chain. But as they grow closer, it turns out secrets can melt like ice in the right kind of warmth.

(A character study of TV show-Wylan & Jesper & the way their backstories could factor into the progression of their relationship).

Stranger Things:

Star Star ✨ - Steve/Eddie (minor Chrissy/Robin). Complete, WC: 93K.

Rock band AU in which Robin, Eddie, Jonathan, Nancy, and Chrissy play in a band, and Steve has no choice but to hang out with the most annoying frontman in the world, Eddie Munson. Things escalate when they're forced to pretend they're in a relationship.

Modern AU, fake-dating (kind of).

I Buried a Hatchet (it's coming up lavender) 🪓 - Robin/Nancy (minor Steve/Eddie). Complete, WC: 60K.

Vecna nearly killed Robin before Nancy could take him out for good. Luckily, Robin's too stubborn to die, and Nancy's too stubborn to let her. Nursing her back to health, Nancy soon begins to question the feelings that almost losing Robin awoke in her.

In which Nancy has to do everything herself, compulsory heterosexuality is a bitch, and Robin Buckley is more charming than she thinks she is.

Harry Potter / Marauders:

Burn, Pine, Perish 🎶 - James/Regulus (minor Sirius/Remus). Complete, WC: 33k.

Sirius' family has magically forbidden him from dating anyone until Regulus finds a suitable pureblood partner. The problem is, Sirius is in love with a certain werwolf, and Regulus' romantic inclinations remain a mystery.

James, a pureblood, is nothing if not eager to help a friend.

AKA - A '10 Things I Hate About You' AU in which James attempts to woo Regulus so Sirius can have a chance with Remus.

Lonely Bones 🦴 - Draco/Hermione. Incomplete, on indefinite hiatus, I'm sorry, please stop asking me when I'm going to finish it, your guess is as good as mine, final answers is... sometime, probably, maybe?

Hermione Granger can't sleep. Draco Malfoy can't walk. The war is over, but it feels like it isn't. Neither of them are happy, but maybe the times together are better than the times apart. 

Draco is cursed in the battle of Hogwarts with unhealable bone fractures. Hermione is in desperate need of money to bring her parents back from Australia, and when Narcissa offers her a job attempting to cure Draco, she has no choice but to take it.

A League of Their Own:

It's Rotten Work 💐 - Jess/Lupe. Complete. WC: 10K.

Nobody's ever taken care of Jess McCready.

Not until she met Lupe García, anyway.

(In which Jess is oblivious, Lupe is romantic, and both of them are a little bit confused.)

Devour What's Truly Yours 🏴‍☠️ written in collaboration with the lovely @somebodytoundress - Jess/Lupe. Complete, WC: 37K.

Lupe Garcia had planned to go down with her pirate ship when it was raided by Spanish soldiers one dreadful night. Bleeding out on the deck, she accepted her fate—until an infamous ghostly captain with no name and a haunting face rescued her from the burning ship and nursed her back to health. With no ship, no crew, and no fortune, the solution is clear for Lupe. She‘s going to kill this captain and take over her crew so she may return to ruling the seas. And she’s definitely not going to fall in love with her.

Simply Elegant 🚬 - Jess/Lupe. Complete, WC: 7K.

Lupe is the most popular jock in school.

Jess is a burnout weed dealer.

Lupe goes to Jess to buy weed for a party, and things progress from there.

Bein' Good Isn't Always Easy ⛪️ - Jess/Lupe. Complete. WC: 32K.

The hottest part of summer, working in a guitar shop in the heart of Texas, Jess has the worst sunburn of her life. And she has the hots for the preacher’s daughter. She’s not sure which is worse.

Sing Me to Sleep 🌃 - Jess/Lupe. Complete. WC: 5K.

Lupe's past comes back to haunt her on the anniversary of an important date.

Jess tries to understand. They fall a bit deeper in love.

Slice of life.

Keep Your Electric Eye on Me, Babe ⚡️- Jess/Lupe. Complete. WC: 4K.

Five times Jess caught Lupe's eye when she shouldn't have + one time Lupe did something about it.

Fever With Thy Flaming Youth 🌡️ - Jess/Lupe. Complete. WC: 2.5K.

Estí gets the flu. Jess & Lupe take care of her.

FAQs

Can I translate your fic?

Please ask first! We can discuss details.

Can I bind/print your fic?

As long as it's legal and no one is profiting off of it, go wild, send pictures when you're done!

Why haven't you updated (insert fic)?

Either I lost interest in it for some reason, or I got really excited about something else & intend to return to it, or I have something personal going on & can't write as much. Sorry!

Can I make fan art of your fic?

PLEASE make fan art of my fic. Please send it to me when you're done so I can share it!!!!

[worth-the-chaos]

Thanks to @huffledor-able541 for tagging me in this! It was so nice of you to think of me!

NINE PEOPLE I WANT TO GET TO KNOW BETTER

Last song: Georgia on my Mind by Ray Charles! I love 60s soul; there’s honestly nothing quite like it (if y’all want song recommendations let me know; I literally work at a radio station)

Favorite color: green! I’m really into sage green specifically right now but I really do love most shades of green!

Last movie: don’t hate me but I honestly can’t remember…I’ve been watching a lot of TV though because I crochet and need something to do while crocheting so I have been watching a lot of The Office and Parks and Rec (and I also rewatched You)

Currently reading: Shadow and Bone! (I am desperately trying to get to Six of Crows because I’ve heard it’s very good!) Also if anyone has any book recommendations, please let me know! I’ve been in a bit of a slump recently

Sweet/Spicy/Savory: I think I prefer sweet foods but really I like a bit of everything! My mom’s a really good baker so I think I’ve gotta pick sweet though!

Relationship: not in one unfortunately (not have I ever been)…I’ve been led on before which was very much not fun but I’m hoping 2024 is my year and I’ll find someone

Current obsession: I presently don’t have one (sorry to disappoint!). If I had to say, I’d probably say Stranger Things just because it’s one of my favorite shows and I always come back to it!

Last thing I googled: I looked up funko pop figures of Steve from season four of Stranger Things! I collect them but I’m trying to chill out a little (mostly because I’m running out of room for them) but I couldn’t help myself lol

Currently working on: giving myself the grace of accepting that it’s okay to not have everything figured out! I’m young and I have time! (This is definitely very much easier said than done though!)

I am just going to tag a couple mutuals (so sorry it isn’t nine but I don’t really know anyone on here that well, so I thought this would be a good start! Feel free to ignore!)

@season4steve @keeryverse @mrsharrington83

[intosnarkness]

hi I love your writing!! what about 61. “I love you. I’m completely and utterly in love with you. Please don’t get married.” with kanej?

Come off anon and say that to my face so we can kiss because I need more Six of Crows friends to scream about plot ideas with. Also I hope you wanted 2500 words. I may post this on AO3 in the future, who knows.

This had to go this way or I would just be recreating "come to me in red" which is a fucking killer story and you should read it if you like this trope. Forgive typos, written and not proofread. (1 2 or make up your own) (ask)

It's not Kaz's fault. It's not anything wrong with him that made her start to doubt. He had been nothing but willing to try, to fight, to concede steps for her needs.

But it wasn't enough. It wasn't enough for either of them to have him on land and her at sea. It wasn't enough to spend a week together every three months. And when that last week - their fifth week together in over a year - had gone so badly, well.

"What are we doing?" she asked, after the second time she woke up with his arms around her and he woke up with her knife biting into his throat in defense.

"What are we doing?" she asked, after a brush of her fingertips had sent him spiraling, retching in the corner in a blind panic for the third time.

"What are we doing?" she asked, watching Jesper and Wylan hold hands as they walked through the streets, unafraid to be tied to each other. Neither of them frightened or fighting or hurting each other. Healthy. Whole.

He had no answers for her. No reasons that they should keep going beyond that he loves her. And she doesn't know if them loving each other is enough.

"Marry me," Kaz had said, on his knee in his bedroom, the night before she was due to leave again. "We'll get through it. It's hard now because we're just starting. It will get easier, and I don't want it to get easier with anyone else."

Somehow, it hurt that it wasn't a question. It hurt that he thought a couple of bands of gold could fix all the things that were broken in them. It hurt that she knew - she knew - that he could get past his issues. He was too stubborn, too determined not to. What she didn't know was if she could. If she would ever be well. If she would ever be able to accept the limitations that life and tragedy and trauma put on them.

It hurt that she loved him. And it hurt that he loved her, too.

"No," she told him, tears pricking at the corners of her eyes. She didn't tell him he deserved better, because he would fight her on that. She didn't tell him that he was insane to think this would change anything, because he probably knew. She didn't tell him that she wasn't going to stay in Ketterdam and he wasn't going to leave, because he wasn't asking her to. All Inej knew was that she had to stop this before it destroyed them both, so instead she closed her eyes and bit her lip and lied.

"I don't want to marry you. I don't want to be yours," she had swallowed the tears that welled up in her throat, forcing herself over the edge. "I don't want you to tie me down."

It broke her heart, but she knew it was the right thing to do. It was the only thing to do. It was all she could do.

"Inej--" it was too hard. It was too painful. It was too much.

She left before he could beg her to reconsider, and went back to her ship. And when they left the next morning, Inej pretended not to see the glint of silver in the shadows, watching them head for the horizon.

---

The letter is in a drop at Bhez Ju, but Inej assumes there are identical ones in Os Kervo and Shriftport and every other place the Wraith makes supply stops. She doesn't get much mail from Ketterdam these days, not since she walked out on Kaz. There had been a time when they were always waiting, neat lines of prose that she could imagine were full of longing. Letters inscribed by that careful hand that had held hers, that had bandaged her wounds.

But those stopped years ago, and now she gets occasional life stories from Jesper, or sweet missives from Nina, or business updates from Wylan, who has taken over Kaz's job of surveilling the merchers for slave activities.

She writes back, but she never asks what she wants to know.

How is he? Is he happy? Is he healing?

She doesn't get to know things like that anymore. It isn't fair for her to ask.

But the letter she picks up, six years after she went to sea and five years after she last saw Kaz, has that same careful handwriting that she's missed so much.

To his credit, it's not an invitation to the event. It's just an announcement. And it breaks her heart all over again. Because Councilwoman and Mrs. Radmakker are pleased to announce the marriage of their daughter Annemieke to the Honorable Kaz Brekker.

Her world doesn't end. It seems like it should, but Inej doesn't feel anything but numb at the words in front of her. Had she thought he wouldn't move on? Had she thought he would wait for her to come back? She never planned to come back, why would he be carrying that torch? That's never been who Kaz was.

But she hasn't moved on. She has waited. She hasn't loved anyone since him, and she isn't sure if she ever can. If she's just to twisted up and ugly inside to ever give herself to another person, after so much of herself was taken from her. She might have planned to let him go, to let him find his happiness in arms that aren't hers. But now, faced with the truth of it, Inej knows she can't. She can't let Kaz marry some mercher's daughter without at least telling him how she feels. She owes him that.

The heart is an arrow, she thinks as she walks back to the ship and tells Spect to recall the crew and set a course to Ketterdam. They have two weeks before the date on the announcement, and she doesn't intend to miss the love of her life walking down the aisle.

------

Summer storms on the true sea delay their return, and Inej finds herself sprinting through the streets of Ketterdam on the day of Kaz's wedding.

Someone at the docks had known about it - a plus to coming in to Fifth Harbor. He's getting married in the Church of Barter. Saints. What the Kaz she knew would say about that.

Still, at least it's not some roadside chapel where the pomp and circumstance would be done by 10 bells. Weddings at the Church are all-day affairs. It's perverse, to Inej's mind. There are all kinds of caveats; the wedding party has to clean the space in the morning to show their industry. The bride and groom have to hold an auction before the ceremony, selling something together to symbolize their intention of being a profitable union. Then they have to make a purchase of either land or goods from a fellow parishioner, which they tithe back to the Church.

In bigger cases - and this will be a bigger case - the auction can last hours, rich merchers elbowing each other out of the way to show their devotion, raising bids a cent at a time. The sale can last just as long, depending on who shows up to sell what. Having your offering chosen by the couple is an honor. It will be in the paper tomorrow, who the Brekkers gave their kruge to.

Only after that will they sign the contract and seal the union.

Capitalism as a religion is weird, and even after all the years she spent living in it, Inej knows she will never understand anything about the Ghezenite church.

But at least there are breaks between the auction and the purchase, and before the contract signing. Time for the couple to reflect and thank Ghezen for their prosperity. There's a chance. She's holding tightly to the chance that she will be able to get there in time to see Kaz.

She arrives, out of breath and sweating, on the steps of the church as the auction is wrapping up. The doors are open, and she sees Kaz next to a beautiful blond woman, as tall as him and just as pale, at the front of the room.

He's wearing gloves. Its the first thing she sees, his hands are covered. They're white, and they go with his tuxedo, but they're gloves. He isn't standing next to his bride bare-handed, like she had always imagined he would with her. They they'd stand knee-deep in the flowers her family would throw at them, his fingers bare against hers, as they pledged their lives to each other.

But she gave that up, years ago. She gave up the right to even imagine it.

Still, she climbs.

The groom's suite is hidden in one of the fingers, which is no challenge for Inej to scale and slide in the open window of.

In fact, part of her wonders if the window was left open for her. If he wants her to come in. But it seems more likely that he wanted air, because every room in the Church is either too big or too small; there's no concern for comfort in the world of profit.

Inej waits. She doesn't bother to sit, or to hide. She just stands in the room and waits for him.

It probably takes an hour before she hears voices - and she knows those voices! - coming down the hall, laughing and chatting happily. It's Kaz, she can hear his low rumbled laugh at whatever Jesper is saying in his smooth lilt. They're coming, and she's standing here and she doesn't know what to say.

When he enters, he does so alone, apparently having sent Jesper on somewhere else. He doesn't look at her. He just takes the silly top hat from his head and lays it on the dressing table next to the door before speaking.

"Hello, Inej," he says. His voice is a practiced neutral

After all these years, it's a dagger through her. He still sees her. He still knows where she is.

"Hello, Kaz," she replies, and neither of them moves. He doesn't look at her.

But it's now or never. It's now or he goes downstairs to make his purchase and sign his contract and live in bliss with his new bride. He goes to forget her forever.

The words bubble out of her mouth unbidden, the arrow that is her heart pulling them out and firing them at him. "I love you," she says. "I'm completely and utterly in love with you. Please don't get married."

Kaz has the audacity to laugh, bracing both of the hands on the table in front of him. Almost doubled over from how funny he finds it all.

"You lost the right to say any of that to me five years ago," he tells her, when he's done laughing at her. Inej feels heat in her face, but she knows he's right. She has no business being here.

"That action will have no echo," she offers, but it's not enough. What could ever be enough to erase what she did? The damage she caused by walking away and staying away. "I was 18, and I was scared. I thought I'd never be better for you. I--" she swallows the lump in her throat. "I was wrong."

Kaz finally turns to look at her, his eyes as cold and dead as they ever were for his enemies. She misses the warm brown of fresh dirt, the way he used to look at her like she was something special. Something worth having.

He probably looks at Annemieke Radmakker like that now. Inej hopes the other woman knows how lucky she is, to be on the receiving end of those eyes.

"You left," he says, his voice rising. "And you never came back. You left and you never answered my letters. You left me, Inej. And now you think you have the right to show up and ruin this?"

His anger has always been frightening to her - she was trained very specifically to respond in certain ways to a man's anger. She has worked very hard to not cower and cry when she's faced with an irate man these days. To not behave like Heleen forced her to.

"I did," she agrees. "And I was wrong. And I don't have the right. But I-- but you sent me the announcement, Kaz. What did you think I would do?"

His eyes betray him for a bare moment, emotion flickering through them that she can still read. He's angry, yes. Very. But he was hoping she'd come.

"Why are you marrying her?" Inej asks, her courage roaring in her ears like the sea in a storm. She even dares to take a step towards him.

Kaz shakes his head. "It's political," he admits with a shrug of his shoulders. "She knows it. She doesn't-- she doesn't care. She's in love with her maid, and I have no problem with the two of them carrying on as long as they wish."

Inej dares to reach forward and take his hand. "Do you want to marry her?"

His anger wins, and Kaz snaps his hand away from her with an injured noise. "None of your business," he hisses. "You left."

"And you called me back," she says. "Kaz. Don't go through with it. Don't marry her."

"What do you suggest?" he snaps. "That I go tell the councilman that I don't want his alliance? That I don't want his help in shutting down indentures in Kerch? That I changed my mind because the woman who broke my fucking heart five years ago just showed up and I'm going to let her hurt me again?"

Inej feels the words like a blow. shutting down indentures in Kerch. He's still trying. He's still working on her mission, after all this time. And he's willing to marry someone he doesn't love and who doesn't love him to get it done.

"There has to be another way," she says, but before she can go further, there's a knock at the door, and Jesper's voice is ringing through it.

"Boss? Time for the purchase."

Inej reaches for his hand again, and this time he lets her take it. "Please," she breathes. "I-- please. I won't run away again. I won't hurt you, not on purpose. I won't. I won't."

She's desperate, her voice thin and reedy. She's begging, and she thinks in any other situation it would be humiliating. Kaz hesitates, looking between the door and where her hand is gripping his.

And then it's like a dam breaks, all the things that Kaz has been holding back erupting out of him because he takes a single step into her space and his hands are cupping her cheeks and he's kissing her with so much hunger, and anger, and passion that Inej thinks if it's the only kiss they ever get to have again, it might be enough.

She starts at the contact, but the shock and the memory it brings passes; she grabs his lapels, pulling his body flush with hers. It feels so right, so good, that she can’t remember for a moment why they ever stopped doing it.

And then he breaks away, his eyes scanning her face and his breath coming in soft little pants as he tries to maintain composure. Jesper knocks again, and Inej starts at the noise.

"Kaz? You okay?"

"Please," Inej whispers again, leaning into the warmth of him.

"Do you mean it?" Kaz whispers back, letting his head fall so their foreheads are pressed together. "Do you love me?"

"Yes," Inej says, and nothing has ever been more true in her entire life. She loves him. She has always loved him. "And if you want I'll go down there myself and complete that terrible ceremony with you right now. Please."

"Okay," Kaz says, stepping back out of her grasp and straightening his jacket. "I-- I'll go and I'll put a stop to it. But we are going to have a talk."

Inej can't help the tears that spring, unbidden, to her eyes, and run down her cheeks. "Really?"

"We'll end indentures another way," he says, and he squeezes her hand once before he turns to the door. "Wait for me?"

She nods. "Always."

[gothark]

Books I've read in August 2024:

And what I thought about them:

The Water Outlaws - I genuinely feel bad for how bored I was reading this book. I was so excited by the premise but it felt like literally nothing was happening. It took me days to get through this and it really shouldn't have on page count alone.

3.25 Stars

Siege and Storm - This was just so mid, there is only one character I liked in this and even him I didn't really like at the end anymore lol mostly I was busy being annoyed by our main characters and their stupid, stupid choices.

3.25 Stars

Ruin and Rising - I was so glad to be done with the series xD I only read it so I could have the context for reading Six of Crows with a friend. I don't regret it but I certainly could have spent my time reading better books lol

3 Stars

Golden Son - my beloved. I genuinely cannot explain what the Red Rising Series makes me feel but I'm just here for the ride and enjoying literally every second. So down bad for this series.

5 Stars

StreamLine - I read this as an ARC and man I really enjoyed this. That SAO nostalgia but actually good even now and some really good representation. I have a longer review here:

4.5 Stars

The Titan's Curse - Obligatory Rick Riordan book of the month because he hasn't disappointed me yet (and I don't think he will in the future lol) Just had a really good time with this one

5 Stars

A Gathering of Shadows - it was fiiiiine. I wished so much more from the tournament arc just to be really disappointed xD but this series is growing on my like a mind controlling fungus and I think I'm slowly loosing the battle (help) still just

3.5 Stars

The Last Sun - Oh I really liked this one, really good urban fantasy (with men kissing, my favorite) but it just missed that one tiny thing I can never describe that makes a book 5 stars for me. I loved this book but it just didn't give me that spark. Hopefully further down the series!

4.75 Stars

Scythe - another one I really wanted to like and just didn't. The world building was so interesting (if very fragile in my opinion) but the characters were just.... flat. I didn't feel for any of them and that was kinda the important part lol they just felt a little two dimensional to me.

3.25 Stars

Punk 57 - oh I really disliked this one. I hate bullies, i hate bully romances and that was basically all this was. Add some cringe pop culture and song lyric sections, topped with some really uncomfortable smut and you have basically everything I dislike lol

1 Star

Trial of the Sun Queen - The world building of this book is as solid as the foam in the bathtub of an overenthuisiastic toddler. It doesn't do anything new, or particularly well, it was very predictable and I was just really uncomforatble most of the time while reading this.

2.5 Stars

The Resurrectionist - Another ARC this month and dear lord, this was everything I wanted. I loved the premise, the plot, the characters and I will buy this book so hard when it comes out. Say anything bad about this and you can come catch these hands.

5 Stars

The Fox and the Dryad - I did like this book... mostly. The relationship was cute but would have been cuter if it had less... you know... lying. It's another one of those were characters just need to open their mouths and talk to each other. Also the mentions of designer brands were genuinely driving me insane. I wanted to cry each time they are mentioned (which is too often)

4.5 Stars