#i put off going to grad school | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

prokaryotics · 1 year ago

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oh. moving is actually fucking me up lol

#all i do is sit in my bed all dayyyy #i have no friends here idk where anything is #i have no job !!#i put off going to grad school #and anytime i try to talk to my parents or sister about they’re just like you’ll get one !! you’ll be fine !!#okay but where’s the proof #i am literally miserable #i feel like i’m letting everyone who had faith in me down #lou.txt

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bixels · 9 months ago

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The idea that uni protesters are "elitist ivy-league rich kids larping as revolutionaries" on Twitter and Reddit and even here is so fucking funny to me if you actually know anything about the student bodies at these unis. Take it from someone who's going to one of the biggest private unis in the US, 80% of the peers I know are either from the suburbs or an apartment somewhere in America, children of immigrants, or here on a student visa. I've heard about one-percenter students, but I've never met one in person. Like, don't get me wrong, the institution as a whole is still very privileged and white. I've talked with friends and classmates about feeling weird or dissonant being here and coming from such a different background. But in my art program, I see BIPOC, disabled, queer, lower-income students and faculty trying to deconstruct and tear that down and make space every day. So to take a cursory glance at a crowd of student protesters in coalitions that are led by BIPOC & 1st/2nd-gen immigrant students and HQ'd in ethnic housings and student organizations and say, "ah. children of the elite." Get real.

#also idk how to tell you this but even if it were true. wealthy children potentially sacrificing their educational careers to protest is #a good thing actually. idk how to tell you that caring about people from other nations is good #personal #“this war has nothing to do with most students cuz nobody's getting drafted” idk how to explain to you that we should be angry #that our tuitions of 10s of thousands of dollars that we pay every year for an education is being used to fund a genocidal campaign #also the implication that if you go to a uni institution you are automatically privileged by participation no matter your bg #i didn't /want/ to go to this school. i was supposed to go to a school with an art/animation program. but i realized my immigrant #parents have been working their whole lives to get me here. and turning the opportunity down would be a disservice to their sacrifice #this is getting into convos of “what 2nd gen kids owe their parents” which is different for everyone but. yeah #i just get pissed off at seeing people misrepresenting student bodies as “wealthy” and “privileged” and “elite” when it's such a blatant li #i remember a year ago a friend told me they can't fly home to hong kong for winter break because the plane tickets are too expensive #so they have to find temporary housing around the area #last quarter for a film doc class my film partner made a doc on a small group of marxist grad students from india discussing praxis #during a rally a few months ago in response to police presence the coalition invited palestinian students to speak about their experiences #and lead songs and read poems they wrote. these are STUDENTS. are they elitist too?#this is not to disregard my own personal privilege either.#this whole narrative's just to rationalize a lack of empathy to me. seeing a 19yo student get shot by a rubber bullet and your first #reaction is “HAW! HAW! bet richy rich didn't see THAT coming when she put on her terrorist hood!”#newsflash. these big uni campuses are HAUNTED by the violence of past protests and revolutions and police brutality. we know.#why do you think these coalitions have been making reinforced barricades at record speed

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comfortcomes · 7 months ago

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i’m depressed☹️

#i feel like i’m putting so much effort and dependence on this thing thatll never work out #like i dont even have any objective way of knowing if im any good at it really? and i kinda blocked off the avenues where i could get that #so now im just like idk floating around #idk now that writing bestie is going to grad school it feels like i’m stupid for not doing that or something cuz everything else i try isnt #working out #and theres other things that add insult to injury #idk :/

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elftwink · 7 months ago

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going to do something very scary today, which is reply to an email from..... last june 🫠😬 it's fine!!! it's going to be fine!!! am posting this so I don't chicken out

#good idea generator #dont have a defense either im literally just like this #i WOULD have had a defense if i replied last aug or sept #it a reply to an old prof of mine who helped me with my masters app wishing me a happy grad #i put off replying to her until i knew abt grad school which ended up not being till august #and then i was a combo of annoyed embarrassed and forgetful amd i just. never replied #i probably should just take the L and ghost forever but i dont wanna #i really do like this prof and want to keep at least sporadic contact with her #strawpoll would you guys instantly hate someone who didnt reply to you for a year #for context in this scenario it also took you several months to reply in the first place but you had a good reason #whatever im going to send it!!! im not asking for anything im just saying thank you and sorry and heres what happened with the grad app

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paradife-loft · 1 year ago

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so this "ethics & legal requirements for research involving human subjects" course I'm doing for class rn hasn't figured out that you don't hyphenate "cisgender," and yet has still somehow heard of "trans broken arm syndrome" and wants to inform us about it being a source of distrust in medical professionals among some trans people. what's happening here....

#various factors in my life have coincided such that 95% of the content of this course isn't remotely new to me at all #(i.e. psychology undergrad & kink community)#but every so often it just throws a curveball without so much as blinking that has me going #'EXCUSE ME CAN WE BACK UP A SECOND AND UNPACK THAT??'#and that's approximately the entertainment keeping me going through it #(well that and the intonation of the person reading the voiceover whenever they say ''federal regulations'')#(because it's the exact same prosody as airplane safety voice 'federal regulations prohibit tampering/disabling/removing smoke detectors')#(so I guess that's now in my head the same way as grocery store checkout machine 'put your. PINK LADY APPLE. in the bag.')#.......well those tags certainly went off on a ramble didn't they #...OH YEAH RIGHT the holy shit unpack pls stuff has largely included like #''the police & justice department are exempt from these [previously described] regulations about ethical overview''#YOU CAN'T JUST SAY THAT MATTER-OF-FACTLY AND THEN MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE HELLO #anyway. yeah. this is a time I'm having.#James liveblogs grad school #content is for other people

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starbuck · 3 months ago

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random inane thoughts i’ve had lately:

“they didn’t know what killed people back then… they threw them in caves and they died!”

i was trying to decide what a character dynamic from a show i have never watched and know very little about is like and for some reason i decided that my only two options were “i recognize you. you recognize me?” “yes.” “so that’s in our favor.” or werewolf gimmick, which is not even a character dynamic, it was just the song playing as i was having the thought and then it made me laugh

#truly i am just Surviving #these past five months have been traumatic and i do not say that lightly #so i’m glad that i can make myself laugh here and there #just let my brain do whatever it needs to to survive in these conditions #all things considered i’m doing much better now #but i also kind of just need this semester to be over #and also the next one #and honestly let’s just skip forward to June when i graduate #soooooooooo done with it all #in good news - i have decided to put off grad school for a semester #i trust myself not to just fuck off and refuse to go back to school #but i also NEED the break or i think i will Die #the traumatic shit didn’t even have anything to do with school #i just don’t have any time to heal with all of that going on #i need to REST!!!!!!

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01tsubomi · 9 months ago

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mfw i spent yeeeeears in college aaaaaagonizing about how to turn a short fanfic of mine into a full-length original work and was working on it with my professor and through all the editing became really embarrassed of the original fanfic version thinking it was immature and shallow but could also never make the rewrite work so i moved onto other projects and then today after a very long time reread both of them only to find that the original fic is concise and heartfelt with clunky execution but solid and gripping emotional beats and the novelization is overwritten self-obsessed garbo