#i promise this is my last post here for a bit

[naughtyneganjdm]

Love's Second Chance: A Holiday Reunion - Chapter 2

Summary: To distract herself from her loneliness, Y/N throws herself into helping the town finish decorating for Christmas. Since her divorce, Tommy has joined her every year since to help. A minor mishap leads to her running into someone from her past.

Characters: Negan Smith, the reader (OC), Tommy Miller, Joel Miller (mentions), Maria (mentions), etc.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/60501985/chapters/154591387

Warnings: Swearing, angst, depression, sad discussions, etc.

Notes: As promised, I will be posting this story three times a week on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. So, yeah! Here it is. Thanks to those who take the time to read it! There is no Joel in this chapter, but he is talked about a lot. Credit to gif @jdmorganz

It was gut-wrenching waking up to an empty house during Christmas time. Silence was not something that Y/N was used to. Being alone was hard enough throughout the normal part of the year, but during Christmas? It was the worst. Y/N would be lying if she said that it wasn’t getting to her. Depression set in pretty heavy during the holidays when the children were with Joel. Distractions were the only way to make it through. Because sitting in an empty house not having someone to share her time with hurt. And it hurt a lot. That’s why when she could help out around town, she happily did. That way her mind was busy and she didn’t think about the loneliness that ate away at her.

For a few weeks she had been helping to put up the decorations around their small hometown. It was something she had been doing ever since she was a kid, so it just stuck with her. With Christmas only a few weeks away, they were desperate to finish everything off to have everything prepared for their most popular festivities and Y/N was there to help them.

Although, this morning she was a bit late because she had to pick up Tommy to come help her. Every year since Joel and Y/N separated, Tommy always made an effort to come help Y/N when she worked on the decorations. Sometimes she thought Tommy did it out of pity, but she wasn’t going to turn down the extra help. Truthfully? She liked having the company too.

“I don’t know how you always have the energy to do this,” Tommy yawned from where he was standing below her holding onto the ladder that was there. Things would have been done faster if Tommy was helping in other places, but last night there was a storm that came through that made things incredibly slippery. So having Tommy holding onto the ladder kept her safe. “Even after the coffee I feel like a zombie.”

“Maybe if you would have gone to bed earlier, you wouldn’t be so tired,” she teased him, stealing a quick look down at him. His head tipped to the side and his big brown eyes seemed so innocent in the moment. “Staying up all night and then expecting to wake up in the morning with little too no sleep doesn’t work so well when you get to your thirties.”

“Hey,” Tommy frowned when she mentioned his age, wrinkling his nose in frustration. “We don’t have to go there with the age thing. I can handle being up all night.”

“Every time I listen to you talk, I question if you are my children’s age,” Y/N pestered Tommy hearing him scoff from down below. Working to put the lights up, she was very careful and heard Tommy yawning once more. “Then again, you do spend a lot of time with my children and they say that you start acting like the people you are around most often.”

“Then I should be grumpy and energetic at the same time,” Tommy suggested with an amused expression when she looked down at him. That was a slam on Joel and she knew it. It was nice that sometimes Tommy although appreciating his brother’s love toward him could be candid about Joel being grumpy. “Can I be honest with you?”

“You always have been,” she moved down the ladder to help Tommy move it before heading back up to start on the next area.

“I was questioning coming here today. I thought about canceling,” Tommy admitted, brushing his fingers through his longer hair, slicking it back. Grasping tightly to the ladder after, Tommy took a look around and sighed loudly. “But then I remembered a promise I made to you a very long time ago and I intend to keep it.”

“If you didn’t want to come Tommy, you didn’t have to,” she assured him, letting out a strained breath when she reached a little too far and almost fell over. Bracing herself again, she realized that she was thankful he was here because this would have been impossible without him. “You don’t have to keep doing this if you’re no longer interested.”

“Oh no. I’m happy doing it. I like spending time with you,” Tommy insisted with worry in his tone. Tommy’s southern drawl was actually thicker than Joel’s so some of his words came off a bit silly making her smile. “That’s not it at all. You just were right about me being up all night. It’s strange how much y’know me.”

“I helped raise you,” she reminded him with a tiny laugh. “I’d be worried if I didn’t. So what were you doing all night?”

“Honestly? A few weeks ago, after a long night of working with Joel, I stopped into the town diner,” Tommy stammered, his fingers curling tighter around the ladder. A warmth flooded into his face with what he was about to tell her. “It was pretty empty in there, so I sat at the counter. A few seats down was this girl. And we got to talkin’…a lot. After that? We’ve been meeting there every day since. At the same time and everything. Talking all night long. So that’s why I almost cancelled on you. I didn’t want to though, so that’s why I’m here.”

“That’s great Tommy!” she assured him, wanting to give him encouragement with what he was telling her while still focusing on getting the lights up. “I’m glad to hear that.”

“Thanks, but…” Tommy’s words came to a quick halt, an uncomfortable sound escaping his lips. “I reckon this sounds ridiculous, but I’m nervous. See I think she’s amazing. Beautiful. Funny. Smart. I think she’s the woman of my dreams.”

“And what’s the problem there?” Y/N wondered, moving down the ladder again to stand before Tommy who looked uneasy talking about this. “Tommy?”

“Well, I’m me. Everyone in this town knows that I’ve had issues,” Tommy reminded her of his past and the problems that he went through with his mental health. Especially after his parents died and after he came back from the war. “People get into everyone’s business here and I’m a mess. I’m not a good match for anyone.”

“That’s bullshit,” she immediately corrected him, stepping forward to grab a hold of the jacket that he was wearing. Pulling him closer, she stroked her hands over his jacket and heard him laugh. “You’re Tommy Miller. The man with a beautiful soul that wants to do his best to save the world. You’re kind. You’re strong. You’re willing to fight for those who can’t. You have the biggest heart. It doesn’t matter about your hardships. Plus? You have the best hair I’ve ever seen.”

“You had to throw that last line in there,” Tommy snickered with Y/N brushing her fingers through his curvy dark locks. “Sometimes you really do feel like my mother Y/N.”

“A part of me feels like I am. Just minus the whole birthing you thing. I adopted you when I was eighteen, Tommy,” she reminded him, teasing him by grabbing his cheek and giving it a firm squeeze. It had his already reddened cheeks from the cold blushing over more. “So I think I know more than anyone. Other than your brother of course.”  

“I still feel bad that you were forced to do that,” Tommy frowned, reaching out to wrap his arms around Y/N to pull her into his arms to give her a big hug. “You were still a kid yourself.”

“So was Joel when he did it, but it didn’t matter. We were a family and we were going to do whatever it took to keep you safe and with your family,” she reminded him, patting him on the chest knowing that with Joel, they went above and beyond to raise Tommy right. “You know I love you.”

“And I love you too,” Tommy promised her with a wink, looking back over his shoulder again as if he was in search of someone. “Which is why I can open up to you. Joel is not very good with all this stuff. It’s hard talking to him. I usually just get a grunt here or there. And I don’t think he’d be happy with me liking this girl.”

“I think Joel would be glad that you found someone that makes you happy,” she suggested, moving the ladder again with Tommy. “Your brother just isn’t very good with romance. He hasn’t been for a while. Confrontation makes him uncomfortable.”

“The moment the two of you got divorced is the moment I stopped believing in true love,” Tommy confessed to her with a frown. It had her chest aching and she gave him a weak smile. It was sweet to hear that, but hard to believe. “I never thought the two of you would break up.”

She didn’t know what to say. She just pat Tommy on the shoulder and gave him a wink. Moving back up the ladder, she heard Tommy muttering something to himself before speaking up again for her to hear, “You know Maria?”

“The mayor’s daughter?” she looked down to confirm with Tommy who gave her a small nod. “You have a thing going with the mayor’s daughter?”

“Well, it’s not a thing. It’s just, well…I don’t know what to call it,” Tommy slurred, tipping his head from side to side. “We’re talkin’? I guess that’s the best way to put it. But I’d really like it to be a thing. She makes me feel things I didn’t know I was capable of feelin’.”

Considering what he was saying, she understood why Joel might be upset with Tommy being in love with Maria. Tommy got in a lot of trouble when he was younger. And the mayor was not always the kindest to Tommy. There was no doubt that Joel would be worried that if something happened with Maria and Tommy that the mayor would go out of his way to make an example of Tommy.

“Ya see why I’m nervous?” Tommy grumbled under his breath, slightly kicking at the snow.

“Well, the mayor has never really been your biggest fan,” she reminded Tommy who let out an uncomfortable breath. That statement made him more ill at ease and she hated to do that to Tommy. “Tommy, it’s not the mayor you are in love with. It’s his daughter. His adult daughter. If you like her and you want to make something more out of it? Do it. Life is short and happiness is rare. So if you can capture that happiness? Go after it. It’s Maria’s life we’re talking about. Not her father’s.”

“So you think it would be okay for me to ask her out on a date-date?” Tommy inquired making sure to keep the ladder steady when Y/N moved back down it. “You don’t think she would say no? I mean with her father hating me all those years…”

“Tommy,” she got him to focus on her after his eyes had wandered around a little bit. “You are a catch. You are one of the most loving people I have ever known. And you’re telling me this girl is already meeting you every night at the diner. I feel like maybe she already thinks there is something there. Because if she didn’t? She wouldn’t be showing up every night.”

“You think?” Tommy went from looking uneasy and self-conscious to having a smile spreading out over his young features.

“I know,” she gave him a wink feeling the sensation of her phone vibrating in her pocket. Pulling off her glove, she tucked it under her arm and dug inside of her pocket for her phone. Lifting it up, she managed to block out the sunlight just enough to see that it was a text from Elizabeth. Opening it up, she saw that it was two photos of a Santa photo session that she had taken with Joel and Peter. The first one was all smiles and the second was the three of them doing crazy faces while Santa looked scared. It made her smile, but at the same time, it hurt. They started having fun with the photos after Joel divorced her. It was like he was making up for the fact that they were no longer together. Without warning, her phone was pulled from her hand and she felt a breath catch in her throat. “Hey!”

“What is it?” Tommy moved around until he could see the screen to see what it was that had made her unhappy. It had Tommy frowning and he looked back at Y/N to see that she was still upset. “How did I know it had something to do with my brother?”

“It’s nothing,” she tried to dismiss that it was a big deal, but Tommy knew better. “I don’t know, Tommy. It’s just hard seeing those sometimes. That was something we used to do together, but now that’s his thing with the children.”

“Why don’t you ask to be part of it?” Tommy reasoned with her, handing her back the phone. Sending Elizabeth a sweet text, she pushed her phone back into her pocket and shrugged. “It’s only right. You’re their mother.”

“Joel made it clear that he didn’t want that after we got separated,” she explained, pulling her glove back on when she swallowed down hard. “And I respected that. It’s just hard because at first Joel was great with it. You know that. You were in our photos until you were eighteen. But the last few years of our marriage he would always…”

“Bitch?” Tommy finished for her. Reflecting on what Tommy said, she nodded her head. That’s not the words she would use, but it summed it up perfectly.

“He hated doing that. But as soon as we were divorced? He went out of his way for it to be special and fun. It’s his thing now even though I’m the one that started it,” she pointed out, separating the lights better so it would be easier for her to put them up. “I know I shouldn’t be jealous or have my feelings hurt, it’s just hard not being part of something anymore.”

“That’s not how things should be,” Tommy frowned, trying to help her with the lights after seeing her struggling.

“But it’s how they are,” she knew there was no changing it. Over the last four years? This was just the way things had ended up.

“Joel should really be here helping you,” Tommy suggested to her with a shrug of his shoulders. “It was his thing with you. Ever since you were kids.”

“You know he hated this more than he did the Santa photo,” she half laughed and Tommy rolled his eyes. “It was worse getting him out than it is you. And by the time he got here? He let everyone know that he didn’t want to be here. He always helped people out around town, but he let people know that he didn’t like it.”

“Grumpy would probably be the definition of Joel Miller over the last few years,” Tommy spoke up with a half-smile, reconsidering what he actually said when he thought about it. “Maybe decade?”

“Don’t let him hear you say that,” she pat Tommy on the chest and gave him a playful wink.

“Ah, he knows I say what I think all the time. It’s a habit when you’re a Miller,” Tommy retorted, his smile expanding out over his features. “We really have no filtering system.”

“Yeah,” she contemplated what he was saying. Thoughts of the night before flooded her mind which had her getting curious. “Elizabeth said that Joel and Tess broke up a while ago. How did that happen?”

“Yeah, it was…nasty,” Tommy explained, his eyebrows bouncing up showing the tension in his face. When it came to Joel’s love life, she tried to avoid talking about it. Most of the time it upset her. But hearing that they weren’t together anymore? That actually piqued her interest. “I was actually surprised it went so bad because I thought Joel would eventually get married to Tess,” Tommy was rambling off, but quickly stopped when he saw the color drain from her face. “I just mean, they seemed to be really into each other. They were really hot and heavy. I think Tess kicked Joel’s ass a lot when they had sex. He’d walk away with marks a lot of the time. Some nights it was like…”

“Tommy, I really don’t want to hear about Joel’s sex life,” Y/N held her hand up to stop Joel’s younger brother from continuing.

“Of course you don’t. I’m sorry,” Tommy apologized profusely, visibly embarrassed that he let it get that far. “I was just saying. They seemed like a pretty tight couple. The only problem was, Tess wanted more from Joel and he just wasn’t willing to give it. It was the same things I heard from you when you fought with Joel. I guess he never called her his girlfriend. Never told her that he loved her. It’s like Joel turned off his emotions completely when it came to relationships. He’s cold. And that’s what I heard from both you and Tess. She accepted it for a while, but as you know, you can only take so much of being with someone and being lonely before you give up.”

Hearing that made her wonder if she should have felt bad for Tess. Part of her did, the other didn’t. This was the woman that Joel ended up with almost immediately after they got divorced. So for her? It felt like a win, but then again? She knew how hard it was loving Joel. Especially when you got nothing back in return.

“One day, she just picked up and left. Never came back,” Tommy elaborated, his big brown eyes locked on hers. “Joel barely reacted. I thought he would be more bothered over the fact that she left, but he didn’t say much. They fought all the time though. A lot of passion came from Tess, but Joel was muted. Tess was a ball buster. Joel definitely has a type. That’s for sure.”

“I was more of a ball buster when we were younger,” she chuckled at Tommy comparing her to Tess.

“Right. Because my brother made you his bitch,” Tommy blurt out and immediately his hand covered his mouth with a loud slap. Worry flooded his features. He was horrified with what he said. It took a minute for him to gather himself before he slowly lowered his hand. “I am so sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. I swear to God.”

“You’re not wrong,” she implied, knowing that she could have been mad, but she wasn’t going to be. “I just became a mom and a wife after a while. I lost a lot of what made me…me.”

“You were always special, no matter what stage of you that you were,” Tommy tried to make up for what he said, but the damage was kind of done. It wasn’t that she was mad at him, she just knew that he was right and that bit hurt. “Joel I think likes to be dominated. He likes to be told what to do. He’s had to be in control for so long that he just wants someone to…”

“Again, I don’t need to hear this,” she cut Tommy off wondering if he was going back into explaining Joel and Tess’s sex life with her. “Joel was always a very dominant person with me.”

“Maybe when he was younger. After he lost everything, I think he just wanted something…I don’t know,” Tommy seemed confused with how to describe his brother. “He had everything and more with you. I don’t know how he didn’t see that. I know you still love him. I don’t know how he could be so stupid. You just wanted him to fight for you sometimes…”

“Tommy,” she paused his train of thought, her chest hurting when she thought about how she felt for Joel. “Your brother has no interest in me. Even when the children talk about the two of us together, he’s quick to shut them down. He doesn’t love me anymore. Your brother hasn’t loved me for a very long time.”

“I think he cares about you,” Tommy slurred, his eyebrows furrowing when he tried to make light of the situation. “He…” there was a pause where Tommy was clearly trying to think of something to make her feel better. Waiting, she realized that he wasn’t coming up with something and she nodded. “I don’t know, Y/N. Joel is weird.”

“Don’t worry about it Tommy, one day this whole thing will get easier. Just, not yet,” she informed Tommy, moving back up to work on the lights again. There was a strong gust of wind that sent a chill throughout her whole body. The ladder wiggled a bit and she looked down to make sure that Tommy was holding onto it.

“Hey,” Tommy blurt out, his eyes now locking on something in the distance when he hesitated, letting go of one part of the ladder. “Maria is over there. Do you think that I should go ask her out on a date? Like a real one?”

“Of course, just give me…” she started only to see that Tommy was swiftly moving away from her while she was trying to finish with the lights that she was putting up in that specific spot. “Tommy!”

Another strong gust of wind filled the air and she realized she needed to get down. This wasn’t going to work. Trying to move down the steps, she felt the ladder slipping out beneath her and attempted to grab onto anything. It must have been the ice that it was slipping on. Even in her best efforts not to fall, her body fell backwards. The only thing for her to fall back on was hard cement. In Tommy’s haste of being excited to ask out the woman he was interested in, he left her to undoubtedly get injured in her fall.

“Jesus,” she gasped, expecting the ground to break her fall only to be surprised that someone caught her before she did. The sound of the ladder hitting the ground was loud, but thankfully she wasn’t hurt. Her adrenaline had just spiked, her heart hammering inside of her chest from the fear of it all.  

“Not quite,” a deep raspy voice pulled her attention away from the ladder. A breath caught in her throat at the familiar set of hazel eyes staring down at her. The strength of the arms squeezed around her and suddenly she felt more comfortable than she should have. “Fuck, I’m back in town ten minutes and you’re already falling for me?”

“Negan,” she whispered, taking a moment to gaze upon the man that her family was talking about only the night before. His long eyelashes fluttered, a small smile tugging at his handsome features when he gave an arrogant bob of his head. “Why are you here?”

“That’s it? Why am I here?” Negan’s nose wrinkled, the sound of amusement coming from his voice. “No thank you for saving my life? You’re my hero Negan?”

“Thank you for saving my life,” she rolled her eyes which was followed by Negan snorting. Carefully he lowered her back down to her feet, still keeping his hands braced over her shoulders to make sure that she was okay. “Tommy just fucking ran away and the wind knocked me down.”

“You really shouldn’t be the one up there doing that anyways,” Negan grumbled under his breath giving the whole set up a scrutinizing look. “This town was always so eager to get up the best of their decorations that they didn’t care how it got done. Tommy should have been the one going up and down. Not you. It was dangerous as it was.”

Silence followed. Y/N was staring at Negan. It had been an extraordinarily long time since she had seen him. The last day she saw him was likely his graduation. Of course she had seen him on the television, in magazines or at the occasional games that they took the children to, but never up close. It became obvious that she was staring at him and she felt a warmth flooding her cheeks.

“God, I’m sorry. I’m staring,” she apologized trying to force herself to look away when Negan’s smile grew twice the size. Arrogance flooded his handsome features with his dimples becoming more prominent knowing that she was locked in on him. “I just can’t believe you are here. It makes me think that I hit my head and I’m imagining this.”

“So if you were dying, you think I would be the person that you would conjure up to help calm you?” Negan rambled, giving her a wink when she groaned out. That was completely like Negan. Nothing much had changed. He just got older and grew a short beard. “I mean, it’s a good thing to picture right before you die. I think a lot of people would do that too.”

“The ego is still strong in you,” she poked at his chest which drew out a deep rumble of laughter from his throat. Almost instinctively, her hand reached up to press in over the side of Negan’s face feeling the coarse hairs of his beard underneath her fingertips. The last time she saw Negan, he had no facial hair. His face wasn’t nearly as chiseled as it was now. There were no lines in his face. Now he kept himself incredibly groomed whereas in the past he would often let his hair grow to the point of slicking it back out of his eyes. Back then he was a boy. Now? He was a man. And a very good-looking man at that. Time had done well for him. He was cute and charming when they were younger. Now? He was incredibly sexy and made time his bitch. The only thing that remained the same were his very prominent dimples that always charmed her. Just now they took her breath away with every big flashy smile he gave her. “God, you look so different.”

“And you look exactly the same,” he gave her a wink, mimicking her hand movement to brush his thumb in over her jawline. It had a chill flooding through her veins and she gave a weak smile. Maybe this was a poor reaction to seeing this man again for the first time. It was too forward. Blunt. But this was someone that she had been so close to in the past standing right before her again after so many years.

“I’m sorry. I was looking at photos of you yesterday so this is just weird for me,” she lowered her hand from his face seeing the intrigue that flooded into Negan’s features. “I don’t mean that in a weird creepy way. I know it sounds like it is. My daughter and her friends just have the biggest crush on you. And it was weirding Joel out. He mentioned us being good friends with you when we were younger and she didn’t believe him, so he was showing her pictures…”

“Ah, Joel Miller. How is the husband doing?” Negan stammered, dragging his hand away from her, taking a firm step backwards. Getting a good look at Negan now, she realized that he was dressed in mostly black. He was wearing black boots, a black pair of slacks and a long black coat that covered most of his chest. It just revealed a black sweater that he was wearing that had a white undershirt beneath it giving it a slight contrast of color. Pushing his hands into his pockets, Negan’s dimples immediately drew her attention when he smiled.

“Well,” she considered what to say next feeling her throat tensing up. Why wouldn’t she be honest in this moment? Lying to Negan would do nothing for her in the long run. “He’s not my husband anymore. We’ve been divorced for three years and separated for four.”

“Oh,” Negan’s lips parted, his mouth turning into a small o-shape as if he felt bad for saying it like that. The charismatic attitude was soon replaced with empathy and that surprised her. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know that.”

“Why would you? There is no reason for you to apologize,” she refused to have him feel bad for that. Lifting her hand she showed that she was no longer wearing her rings and shrugged her shoulders. What could she really say? She wasn’t about to have a meltdown about it in front of Negan. So instead she tried to blow things off with a joke. “Divorce is the number one killer of marriage.”

“Right,” Negan snorted, his head lowering in amusement. Just the sight of his smile caused her heart to skip a beat. How was it that his dimples were even more attractive now than they were when they were young?

“What about Lucille?” she questioned noticing the way that Negan’s eyebrows bounced up, his Adam’s apple tensing in his throat when he gazed her over. “I know the two of you were married since my daughter knows…a lot about you.”

“She uh…she passed away,” Negan paused, his face tensing up when he reached for something around his neck. Pulling it out from beneath the shirt, Negan stepped forward and she realized that it was a necklace. At the bottom of it were three rings. Immediately she regretted her joke and felt horrible for asking. Mortified would be an understatement. “Cancer. The second leading cause of killing marriages.”

“Jesus Negan,” she felt immediately embarrassed seeing the way he shrugged his shoulders. Now she regretted making a joke. There was some color that flooded into his face and guilt started to eat away at her. “I feel like the biggest fucking asshole in the world right now. I am so sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Negan hushed her, lifting his right hand to wave it about. “You didn’t know. I don’t know how much you pay attention to things. I tried keeping my private life, well, private. Fucking tried at least. I was never really very public about my life. So maybe your daughter didn’t even know. And I shouldn’t expect you to know because we haven’t talked in so fucking long. We’re pretty much strangers.”

“Shit,” she felt terrible for everything and just wished the world would swallow her whole right now. “I wish I wouldn’t have said what I did. It’s the first time I’ve seen you in so long and I made an ass of myself. In multiple ways.”

“Fuck, don’t worry about it. I’m just happy that I was walking by just at the right time to catch you,” Negan gave her a wink, and in that moment he noticed that she looked worried. “What is it?”

“You’re hurt. Your knee,” she pointed down and it had an amused expression flooding into Negan’s features. “I probably just hurt you more by having you catch me. I can’t believe…”

“Some knee pain is better than watching someone I knew and cared for smashing their skull against the cement,” Negan stepped forward to place his finger in over her lips to silence her worries. Shaking his head, he gave her a wink before letting out a long sigh. “I’m back in town visiting my mother for the holidays. It’s my second Christmas without Lucille and my mother thought it would be for the best if I came home to see my family for the holidays. And with me being injured, I thought it would be a good idea too. Come home. Rest it out.”

“That makes sense,” she acknowledged, not saying much because she didn’t want to make an ass of herself again. Things felt strange now as she rocked on her feet in front of Negan. All she could focus on was just how good he looked. Suddenly she felt very out of place knowing that she just kind of rolled out of bed this morning. “I guess I should let you get back to what you were doing. I don’t want to keep you tied up all day.”

“Well, I got here early,” Negan stated with a tip of his head, looking beyond them to see the coffee shop that was in the distance. “How about you and I get some coffee together? We can catch up a little bit before I have to head to my mother’s place?”

“I mean,” she looked back at the lights that were kind of just dangling there still. Right now she really didn’t feel like climbing back up that ladder again after almost dying. “Sure, that would be nice. Coffee sounds good.”

“Ma’am,” Negan held his arm out, a small snickering sound fell from his lips when she accepted his arm. It was as if Negan had picked up on the fact that there was a small sheet of ice over the ground and he was trying to help keep her from falling. Again. Once they got to the coffee shop, Negan held the door open for her and she was impressed with the chivalry. The only problem? When Negan entered the coffee shop, the few people that were in there went a little nuts upon seeing them. Immediately people were drawn to him and she understood why. Negan was a celebrity. And not only that, he was a hometown hero celebrity. So she took a step back while people asked for selfies with him and let it happen. Eventually he ordered his coffee and reached for her hand to pull her up beside him. “Go ahead. I’ll pay for this.”

“You don’t have to do that,” she denied at first, not wanting to seem like the kind of person that would take advantage of him. But the glare Negan gave her? She knew that one well. So she gave in. Placed her order and let him go ahead with wanting to buy her one. When the barista came back with their coffees, Negan attempted to pay, but she pushed the drinks forward to them insisting that they were on the house. With that, Negan left what he would have been paying in the tip jar and led Y/N toward the back of the coffee shop where there was a table that was hidden for them to have some privacy. “Wow, that was…”

“Intense. I’m sorry,” Negan shook his head, apologizing over the fact that people interrupted them by asking for photos. It seemed to have embarrassed him that it happened in front of her while they were together.  

It should have been something that he was proud of. Having people look up to him like that? It was a good thing. Not a bad one.

“No, don’t apologize. You worked hard for all of that. Soak it in,” she stated with a firm shake of her head, surprising him that she wasn’t at all upset about the whole thing. “It’s nice just getting to see you Negan. There is no reason for me to be upset. It’s been a long time.”

“I’m sorry about that,” Negan apologized again. It was strange how many times he had already done that since she had first seen him. And there was nothing to keep apologizing for. Stroking his hand across the top of the table, Negan seemed tense until he started speaking up again. “I have to be honest with you Y/N, I’m surprised to see you here. No one wanted to leave this town more than you did. You had dreams of the big city. I remember you wanted to travel the world, photograph it all and you wanted to be a big-time journalist.”

“Yeah, well, life has a way of making you realize that what you want isn’t always what you’re going to get,” she declared which seemed to have Negan biting at his cheek. There was an expression in his eyes that showed he had sympathy for her and she didn’t know if she wanted it. “When I had Elizabeth, the plans kind of changed. I’m just…I’m someone who does data entry at home. I get to work remote and sometimes I have to go into the office, but rarely.”

“And Elizabeth is your daughter?” Negan confirmed having Y/N nod, stroking her fingers over the paper coffee cup that her drink was in. “How old is she again?”

“Seventeen,” Y/N felt old telling Negan that, but her answer made him smile and nod. “I also have a son named Peter. He’s thirteen.”

“Peter,” Negan repeated the name, his smile expanding out over his features. “Elizabeth and Peter. Well, Joel certainly picked out those names, didn’t he?”

“What do you mean?” she half-laughed watching Negan tip his head from side to side considering his next comment.

“Well, I remember growing up what you wanted to name your children if you had any. Elizabeth and Peter were not any of the names that you wanted,” Negan recalled which had her dropping her head, a small smile tugging at her lips. Of all the things that Negan remembered, she didn’t think something like that would be something he kept with him. “What?”

“I just can’t believe you remember those conversations,” she claimed, her heart fluttering a bit that Negan still remembered so much about her. “But yeah. Those were names that Joel picked. It’s suits them though. Joel calls Elizabeth Ellie. He always has. She’s of course getting to the age where she wants to be called…”

Seeing that Negan’s attention was locked on her had her sighing loudly, “You don’t want to hear about this. I’m sorry. I’m just a boring working-class mother. I’m not interesting. At all. I wish I had the life that I wanted when I was younger so I could impress you, but I don’t.”

“Don’t say that,” Negan hushed, reaching out to place his hand in over hers. The warmth of his touch was very much welcomed, even though she didn’t know if she should be taking it or not. “I think you’re very interesting. And I’d love to hear about your children. It’s been a long time. I don’t expect you not to talk about your life to me after this long.”

“It’s just a little embarrassing to basically tell you I got pregnant the year after you graduated,” she suggested feeling the sweep of Negan’s thumb over the back of her hand. “You went out, became this huge celebrity and followed your dreams. I got pregnant at seventeen, had my baby at eighteen and I’ve just been doing my best to keep my head over the water.”

“You’re embarrassed by that?” Negan wondered seeing her shrug and he could tell that it made her uncomfortable. “Being a mother is the hardest job in the world. If you are capable of doing it? I think that’s impressive. So don’t be embarrassed. You’re not going to get me looking down on you. Ever.”

“Thank you,” she cleared her throat knowing that she felt small sitting before the man she used to consider her best friend. “I did call you a few times. Well, a very long time ago. I understand why you didn’t answer. You were busy and…”

“I should have answered,” Negan interrupted her, his thick eyebrows furrowing showing that he was disappointed with himself. “I’m sorry.”

Silence followed, her eyes looking down to see that Negan’s thumb was still caressing over the back of her hand, “I missed you.”

Something changed in Negan’s expression. He lowered his head, his fingers squeezing tighter to hers before he shrugged, “I missed you too.”

“It’s hard going through life without your best friend,” she suggested feeling a bit emotional knowing that she never really understood what happened to have Negan drop her so quickly in the past. Especially after all they had gone through. “I’m so proud of you though. You accomplished everything you wanted to. Rookie of the year? MVP how many times? You’ve done amazing, Negan.”

“And it’s all coming to an end,” Negan frowned, looking down toward his knee knowing that even though he still felt like he was capable of so much more, his body wouldn’t allow for it. Lifting Y/N’s hand up, he pressed a kiss over the back of her hand and gave her a wink. “Thank you though.”

They both went quiet. It got very serious there for a moment and Negan picked up on it when he reached with his free hand to grab his coffee to take a sip, “So what happened with Joel? I remember he got a full ride to college for the football.”

“Oh, he uh. He had to turn it down. His parents died during the summer in an accident. He had the choice of letting Tommy go into foster care or staying to take care of him and he stayed. Then I got pregnant with Elizabeth and it just didn’t work out for him,” she told Negan about their lives knowing that it was nowhere near as interesting as his life. “He just took on his dad’s business and became a contractor. He runs the business and Tommy works for him. I was a stay-at-home mom for a while until I could go to night school at college to get my degree and then my friend from college got me a job that I’ve stayed with until this day. We’re both worried about Elizabeth because she scares the hell out of us. She’s almost the age I was when I got pregnant, but she’s…she’s smarter than me. And safer. And I don’t think she’s dating anyone really. She seems to be attracted to older men, which isn’t good, but, it’s not bad either because then it means that she’s not going to get pregnant like I did and…”

Damn. She was doing it again. She was rambling. But by the look on Negan’s face, it wasn’t upsetting him. In fact, he looked enamored with her. A rush of warmth flooded into her face and she laughed, dropping her head down, “God, I’m sorry.”

“Stop,” Negan demanded with a raspy laugh himself. “I don’t mind you talking to me. It’s okay. You don’t have to think you’re talking too much. We’re fitting like, what? Nineteen years of missed time in here. So I don’t mind.”

“I know, you just are the more interesting one and here I am talking your head off,” she chastised herself which had Negan smiling. “You probably have better things to do than listen to me go off about my family and my children.”

“I don’t. And this is better than anything else I had planned,” Negan tried to suggest, squeezing her hand again reminding her all over how he had been holding onto her hand this whole time. But she kind of liked it. “I’ve picked up on the fact that your daughter has good taste. You love your kids and Joel is…an idiot.”

“Why is that?” she was amused to hear Negan say that.

“Because he’s not with you,” he countered quickly which had her feeling a sense of awe over him saying it. “I really thought the two of you would be together forever. Knowing that you’ve been apart for four years? That surprises me.”

“Well, life happens,” she didn’t know what else to say. She wasn’t about to vent to Negan just what it was that had her marriage crumbling down all around her. That wasn’t something he needed her to dump onto his lap as well. “We just became different people.”

“Hmmm…” Negan looked her over before shaking his head. “You seem still very much like you.”

“Minus the fire,” she thought aloud, noticing the way his eyebrow arched.

“Nah, that fire is there. I see it. Maybe it’s just hidden behind a few walls, but it’s there,” he winked hearing her chuckle beneath her breath before shaking her head. “Don’t think so poorly of yourself. You were always one of my favorite people Y/N. Don’t sell yourself short.”

“Negan goddamn Smith,” a voice boomed, shocking Y/N when she pulled her hand back and away from Negan who made a shocked expression looking to the side. “I thought that was you, you asshole.”

“Tommy fucking Miller,” Negan got up slowly from his seat, walking across to accept a hug from Tommy. “How are you doing brother? It’s been a long time?”

“Not as good as you,” Tommy leaned back, smacking playfully at the side of Negan’s face making him snort. “Look at how much older you look.”

“Hey now, you may have the same face, but you don’t look like the thirteen-year-old I last saw either,” Negan joked, pushing into Tommy’s shoulder. Lifting his hand up, he swirled his fingers into Tommy’s long hair. “Look at you pretty boy. Growing up into a man and everything.”

“I see Y/N found you and snatched you up,” Tommy followed Negan back over to the table, a big smile tugging at his features when he sat in beside Y/N who suddenly felt out of place. “Shit Negan. I can’t believe I’m seeing you. The big-time sport’s star that everyone in this town loves.”

“Well, I am retiring,” Negan reminded Tommy who rolled his eyes and scoffed. “I am!”

“Come on,” Tommy threw his hand up hearing Negan sigh loudly. “You are one tough son of a bitch. I’m supposed to believe that you aren’t going to nut up and just keep going?”

“As you said, I’m getting old dickhead,” Negan winked hearing Tommy burst out into laughter. There was amusement in Y/N’s features and when Negan noticed it, he gave her a big smile. “I was just catching up with Y/N here and she was telling me about the kids.”

“Did she tell you what a saint she is?” Tommy stressed, reaching out to wrap his arm around Y/N to give her a big squeeze. “This girl adopted me at eighteen. Had a baby of her own but took care of fifteen-year-old me to make sure I had a good life at home. She’s an amazing girl. A great mom and she bakes like you would not believe.”

“Oh yeah?” Negan’s interest suddenly was taken. Placing his hand over his chest, Negan made a dramatic expression. “I myself love to cook. So if someone has that same passion? Well, I’m immediately interested in learning more.”

“She’s a magic worker this one. Makes the best sugar cookies I’ve ever had,” Tommy declared with another big smile, squeezing her uncomfortably close to his chest. “I always tell Joel what an idiot he was for letting her slip through his fingers. If it wasn’t creepy, I would have gone for her because she is so special.”

“Okay Tommy. You’re laying it on thick,” she found amusement in the way that Tommy was describing her, but he didn’t care. He just gave her a small nudge with his shoulder before going back to talking with Negan.

Quickly Tommy got to talking to Negan about baseball and Negan answered his questions. Listening to them was amusing. She did actually know what they were talking about since Joel, Elizabeth and Peter all loved baseball. But instead of adding to the conversation, she just sat back and listened. Finding it cute that the two of them were eager to catch up.

After a while, Tommy looked to Y/N noticing that she was just sitting there listening to the two of them, “I reckon I just hijacked your conversation, didn’t I?”

“I’m loving it,” she stated with a small smile hearing Negan snorting and she shrugged. “I was talking too much anyways.”

“Not enough in my opinion,” Negan gave her a wink, his nose wrinkling in amusement. Taking a sip of his coffee, Negan got more comfortable in his seat and bit down on his bottom lip. “I know you know sports just as much as the boys do.”

“Yeah? So? Let Tommy get his time in with you. The boy looked up to you growing up,” she reached out to pat Tommy on the chest having his cheeks flushing over with warmth. “We’re both happy to see you, Negan.”

A vibration pulled her attention away from the two of them. Digging into her pocket, she saw that it was Elizabeth calling her and it made her sigh, “Give me a minute boys. My daughter is calling.”

Getting up from the table, she noticed that Negan’s hazel eyes followed her across the coffee shop as she made her way outside to answer her phone.

“Hey sweetheart,” she leaned back against the brick wall, letting out a long sigh. “Those photos you took looked really nice. It looks like you had fun.”

“It wasn’t so bad,” Elizabeth claimed, her young voice flooding from Y/N’s phone. “The guy they have as Santa this year is from the next town over and he was a lot of fun. I wish you would have been here with us to take the photo.”

“Me too,” Y/N was honest with her daughter. She missed doing those things as a family. It made her feel extraordinarily left out. Rosita had suggested to her in the past that she should also do photos with the children for Christmas, but part of Y/N assumed that Joel would get upset because that was his thing with them. Especially since they used to have fights like that in the beginning of their separation.

“That’s kind of why I’m calling you,” Elizabeth spoke up, taking time to explain to her mother what was on her mind. “Dad decided that we should go to that old village we used to go to when we were younger. You know the one that does the Christmas event with the fireworks? My friends were going to it and I thought it would be cool to go too.”

“Oh, that’s great honey,” Y/N commented feeling a sense of jealousy hearing that. That was another thing they did as a family. The place that Elizabeth was talking about was a place that her, Joel and Negan all worked at when they were younger to make cash on the side. So they were always going to that Christmas event with the children. Although, the last two years of their marriage, Joel had been working late on a project that had him missing it so they hadn’t really gone in over six years. “I’m glad to hear that your dad is taking you. When are you going?”

“Tonight. But, dad spoke to the guy in charge who still remembered him. So he gave dad a bunch of free tickets. We both get to bring a friend,” Elizabeth continued on, “but we have one other ticket and dad said I should call you to ask if you wanted to go.”

“Is that something your dad really wants?” Y/N inquired, surprised to hear that Joel wanted her to be involved with their Christmas activities since the previous years he made sure to leave her out.

“Well he’s the one that suggested it mom,” Elizabeth declared with a sigh and it had Y/N shifting on her feet. “Both Peter and I want you to come. This goes back to the whole being a family again thing. At least, this is the closest we can get to it being like the old days again.”

“You both begged your dad, didn’t you?” Y/N insisted hearing the silence that followed and it made her smile. “That’s a yes.”

“Well he didn’t say no,” Elizabeth pointed out with a dramatic tone. “He’s the one that insisted I call you right now so you can prepare to come with us tonight. Dad will pick you up at five, okay?”

“Yeah, okay,” Y/N smiled realizing that she wasn’t about to really be given a choice, but ultimately her choice would have been the same. She missed being with her family for Christmas, so it wasn’t like she was going to turn it down. “I’ll be ready to go by five.”

“Perfect,” Elizabeth seemed happy and excited on the other end, which was a good thing in Y/N’s mind. At least her children still wanted to spend time with her and that’s what mattered the most. “We’ll see you then. Make sure you dress warm. It’s supposed to snow tonight.”

“I will,” Y/N assured her daughter having a warmth flood her body knowing that she wouldn’t be alone tonight. The idea of going to this actually made her happy. Too often she got used to being alone, but it didn’t feel good. Now she had something to look forward to in being with her children. “I love you honey.”

“Love you too mom,” Elizabeth got out before they ended their call.

As Y/N was pushing her phone back into her pocket, she saw that Negan was walking out of the coffee shop and once his eyes locked with hers he gave her a big, charming smile.

“Got sick of Tommy?” she teased with Negan stepping before her. Having Negan leaving the coffee shop that quick shocked her. Especially since they wanted to catch up and they really hadn’t done much of it.

“Not at all. There were some people that asked for photos and then the mayor came in,” Negan pointed back toward the coffee shop. Hearing that made Y/N wonder how Tommy responded and she looked to the door to check if Tommy was coming out. “The mayor asked me to go somewhere with him to take some photos, but Tommy is talking to him right now so I figured I would find you before you could run off.”

“Well, you found me,” she gave him a half smile causing Negan’s eyebrow to arch in amusement. Disappointment flooded her veins knowing that someone else was taking Negan away from her being able to catch up with him. “What’s up?”

“I want us to spend more time together than this,” Negan announced pointing toward her pocket where she just put her phone. “I was hoping that maybe you could give me your phone, I’ll put my number in and then in two days you can let me take you to dinner. That way we can actually have time to talk. Just the two of us.”

“That’s something you want to do?” she thought aloud, almost blurting it out. Holding his hand out further, Negan waited for her to give him her phone. Obeying, she placed it in his hand drawing him to smirk. Damn, there were those dimples again. “I’m sure you’re going to be busy. You don’t have to take time for me.”

Working with her phone, Negan put in his number and then sent himself a text so he would have her number on his phone. Holding her phone out to her had Y/N accepting it and Negan cleared his throat, shifting his weight from his heels then toward the tips of his toes.

“I want to take time for you,” Negan informed her, a muscle at the corner of his jaw flexing. Hearing that actually made her happy. “I’m glad that we ran into each other.”

“Technically, I fell into your arms,” she reminded him and it had his deep raspy laughter filling the air.

“You’re not wrong,” Negan agreed, biting down on his bottom lip. Reaching back, he stroked his fingers over his neck and shrugged. “When we have our dinner, don’t be afraid to talk to me this time. I’m still Negan. Not much has changed.”

“So much has changed,” she refused that statement with a shake of her head. Parting his lips, Negan looked like he wanted to say something more, but stopped himself. A single nod from him told her that he wasn’t going to bicker with her about it. “But I will try to relax.”

“Good, because I want to listen to you talk,” Negan clarified how he felt about things, his Adam’s apple bouncing in his throat. “We used to stay up all night talking about things. And those are the days that I miss. I’d like to bring a little bit of that back into my life again.”

“I’m sure your life is filled with very interesting people,” she guessed, realizing how small she probably was in comparison to the other people that he knew in his life. It was safe to say that her self-esteem wasn’t the best right now. So selling herself short? That was something she did quite often as of the last few years.

“But none of them are you,” Negan stressed with a nod of his head. Stepping forward, Negan lowered down. Pressing in closer to her, his lips deposited a kiss against her cheek. Closing her eyes tightly, she realized that the gesture lingered. The warmth from Negan radiated against her flesh and it took her breath away. It had been so long since someone had showed her any kind of affection. Backing away slowly, Negan’s eyes gazed over her and she felt her heart skip a beat with how close he actually was to her.

“Negan,” the sound of someone calling out to him broke their attention on one another. Stealing a glance back over his shoulder, Negan feigned a smile when he realized that it was the mayor calling out to him. Looking back to Y/N, Negan felt guilty that he was taking off on her so quickly. Backstepping toward the mayor, Negan hummed to himself and pointed at her. “I’ll pick you up at eight the night we go out. And I’ll send you a text just to remind you. So you don’t forget.”

“I’ll see you then,” she responded with a shallow breath still feeling the sensation of his kiss over her cheek. When Negan left, Y/N watched Tommy push open the door of the coffee shop. He looked panicked as he headed back over toward her. “If it isn’t the man that almost killed me today.”

“I…what?�� Tommy was at a loss for words when she folded her arms out in front of her chest. Even though she was happy to see him interacting with Negan like he was previously, she was still irritated with him for taking off on her earlier. While it didn’t end badly, it sure as hell could have. “You almost died?”

“I would have likely ended up in the hospital with brain damage if Negan hadn’t caught me,” she recalled and it had Tommy’s dark eyes growing wide. Her getting hurt wasn’t even a thought for him when he left earlier. “You left when I was on the ladder and it slipped.”

“I didn’t even think,” Tommy swore reaching out to place his hands in over her shoulders to try to comfort her. “I’m so sorry. I just saw Maria and I wanted to talk to her so bad.”

“I hope you at least asked her out? Because then me dying almost feels like a waste if you didn’t,” she huffed and it had the beginning of a smile tugging at Tommy’s features. By the expression over his face she could tell that he was happy which meant he did get that date. “That’s my boy.”

“I’d love to take credit for it,” Tommy moved in beside her to hook his arm around her shoulders, “but she asked me first. I was trying to ask her, but when I ran into her I think she picked up on my nervousness. We’re going to be having dinner tonight.”

“A woman that takes charge. That’s exactly what you need,” she joked with Tommy, reaching out to grab his jaw to give it a playful squeeze. “I’m going with Joel and the kids tonight to that Christmas event at the old historical village we used to work at. So we both need to get those lights up.”

“You’re going out with Joel and the kids tonight?” Tommy seemed shocked to hear that. And really? She didn’t blame him. There had been such a big wedge between her and Joel for so long that them actually spending time together with the children sounded strange. “Maybe Joel is getting his shit together after all.”

“I think the children begged him,” she wasn’t so certain that it was as much Joel wanting her there as much as it was the children irritating him to ask her. “But I’m glad I’m going because it gets lonely at night without the children there. I can only bother Rosita so many times before Siddiq gets sick of me stealing his fiancée.”

“This is a good thing,” Tommy led her back toward where they were last together noticing that the lights were just hanging from the building and he frowned. “You’re gonna make me go up there now, aren’t you?”

“I sure am,” she nodded toward the ladder hearing Tommy groan in response. “But don’t worry, unlike you, I’m not going to run away the second I get sights at something more interesting.”

----

Tags: @chainsawsangel @fancypeacepersona @violent-darkness @negansbestie @elegantfanficluv

@sanctuaryforthelost @dead-of-niight @dilfsandmartinis

[bokettochild]

🎶For the twelfth day of Christmas, my Ketto gave to me-🎶

Closure!!!!!

So, I've been talking about this for a fair bit now and debating the logistics, and I have decided to do it: A Christmas of Closure!

I have so many unfinished/on hiatus fics, some that never got past the first part, and this is my effort to (1) relieve myself of the guilt of not finishing them and (2) give a bit of closure to the readers who still wanted more from the story.

How does it work? You guys can choose any story of mine that you wanted to see more of, and the first twelve will get a little love this holiday season, with me posting one update every day leading up to Christmas, and ending on Christmas day with either whatever I was most excited to share, or what took me the longest and I needed more time for LOL

They key to this is that it's stories I've already started, so rather than spending half my writing time trying to figure out what it's going to be about, I'll hopefully just be giving words to something that's sat in my brain for the last few months/years. I'll get to share with you what was supposed to happen, while maybe jump-starting my own creative process so maybe (no promises) I'll actually be able to finish the story! (Again, NO promises, but also I hope so!!!)

(Specifics below)

All stories are on the table with the exception of TBBU, since that's already a work in progress and I will get there independently (*she lied, like a liar*). There might be others that have reached their natural end as well, and I'm not up to making zombies, but I can't name any right off, so go nuts and choose whatever you feel has been on life support for too long :)

Whumptober/Sicktember/Febuwhump prompts are up from grabs, but only in the form of continuations of already written pieces. I will not be writing prompts that I failed to post on time in this challenge (maybe another time)

The age of the fic doesn't matter, but be aware I might not be able to capture the same voice as I used to use. My writing style has changed and developed, but I will try and match my own freak when I can.

You CAN ask for specific things! I will not take unkindly to you popping in to say "write an update for story XYZ and maybe have ABC happen?" I can't promise that ABC will happen of course, because maybe that's not what was meant to happen, but I promise to consider any and all suggestions regardless, and try and make a Christmas present that you'll enjoy :)

The stories will get posted starting on the 14th of December and ending on December 25. There will not be an Ao3 collection, but I will have a master-list here on tumblr.

I hope that covers everything, but if you have any questions I didn't answer, please feel free to send an ask, so I can answer publicly, in the case others had the same question <3

[joeyalohadream]

WIP/Last Line Tag

I've been tagged by quite a few people in the last few weeks (most recently I think by @happy-days19 , @counting0nit and @swifty-fox) for 'Last Line' and 'WIP' tag games. I appreciate anyone every tagging me or thinking of me! I promise I wasn't ignoring you, I just genuinely hadn't written anything in almost a month until this week. Thank you all so much for still including me despite my lack of engagement lately! ❤️

Happy with myself today for finally sitting down and putting words on the page. I think I might manage to finally finish the care-taking fic I posted to AO3 a while back today.

Here's a little tiny snippet to make up not participating in tag games much lately:

“Mhm,” John hums, looking back at Gale to find him already focused back on him. “Yeah, Buck, it’s pretty much scrap now. Think we can salvage some parts from the engine block though, definitely from the frame. Not a total loss.” “Good,” Gale nods and looks down, voice quiet. “That’s good.” He looks guilty and John reaches out, lets his hand rest over his knee. “Hey, now,” he gentles his voice, ducks his head to catch Gale’s eyes. “I don’t give a damn about the truck.” He squeezes the firm muscle under his palm, lets his thumb brush over a bony kneecap. “The only thing I care about is sitting right here in front me, alive and mostly okay.” The smile he gives gets him a small one in return so he closes the distance between them and plants a kiss to the corner of Gale’s mouth, his cheek and then lets his lips press against his temple. Tension he hadn’t even noticed had coiled Gale tight leaves his frame and he sags a bit into John’s side. John leans back and gets an arm around him, pulls him closer until Gale takes the hint and rest his head on John’s shoulder. He’s a solid line of warmth along John’s side as he gets comfortable, finally turning enough to let his injured wrist rest over John’s stomach. The sight of his fingers just barely poking out of the too-long sleeve of John’s sweatshirt before they latch onto the fabric of the one John’s wearing makes that warmth spread though his insides. That ever present possessive feeling that’s been kicking at his hindbrain since practically the moment he met the younger man is back and curling a fist around his heart.

Hoping to have the third and final chapter of this one posted sometime tonight. 💕

[aihoshiino]

It's Hoshinover: Oshi no Posting Post Oshi no Ko

Hello gang! I thought I'd make a quick post outlining what my plans are now the series is over. Like I mentioned in my 166 chapter review, I still have a lot to say and I don't plan on going anywhere! But I also thought it would help for me to still have that bi-weekly structure for discussions that the release schedule gave me... so here's my plans going forward now the series is wrapped!

Bi-weekly series re-visit!

Every other Wednesday, I'll be alternating between episode reviews and volume reviews as I make my way through the series again! Episode reviews will be a more in-depth continuation of my OnK Rewatch I started a bit ago with the intent to focus on the adaptation itself as an experience.

Volume reviews will be my re-read of the whole series now we have the full thing in front of us. Basically, just an expanded & less speculative version of my chapter reviews! I'll be following along with the YenPress translation of the manga as well, so I'll be commenting on the TL choices there too because I'm annoying <3

Askbox is remaining open!

I'll get to everyone's questions eventually I prommyyyyyyyyy

Fanfics

YES I STILL WRITE THESE I PROMISE!!! I had some creative commitments elsewhere over the last two or so months so I had to take a break from working on my current projects but I've got a lot of things cooking! Chapter 5 of An Invincible Girl is in the works, as is chapter 2 of Atonement or Sacrifice. I also have chapter 1 of Oshi no Gohan and Rotten Happy Heart mostly drafted and am hoping to get those up eventually as well!

I also have a big, long term-project that's in the planning stages with the gang on the OnK Brainrot server so please look forward to... whenever we're ready to announce that!

[monowritestoomuch]

How To Piss Off The Gods 101

Chapter 1: A Day Spent Well

Notes: No this is not historically accurate con-wise. I got lazy. I’ve been a bit less busy lately, but that doesn’t mean I’m even remotely free of the busyness of life. So here you go, the starting chapter. I’ve already started on the second chapter, so it should be out in the next week. Regardless, enjoy this while I attempt to work on my other requests.

Chapters: Chapter 1,

WORD COUNT: 786

It was early May twenty-twenty-three, a bit early for a comic con, but enjoyable nonetheless. Jorge was walking around the San Francisco Comic Con floor, waiting for Talia, his lovely girlfriend, whilst she used the bathroom. 

He surveyed the floor, eyes flitting to each and every stand. Every single one seemed to pique his interest, promising himself that he’d visit as many as he could. 

He was scrolling through Instagram, reading through Epic posts he’d been tagged in or were just there, humming to the tune of Puppeteer. It was one of his best works in his opinion, so far at least. 

The voices of the con were just regular con chatter until two voices split through the drowned out sound. Jorge looked up to see a young couple holding hands and grinning, seemingly to be college students. The younger man had dark hair, pale skin and eyes so sea green, Jorge thought he was looking through seaglass. The young woman had tanned skin with blonde hair, held up in a ponytail, crisp grey eyes peeking through the thicker strands of hair, like he was looking through a grey storm-cloud. They had matching grey streaks in their hair and the guy was drinking some sort of blue slurry, before clutching his head as the girl laughed.

“That’s what you get for drinking too fast, seaweed brain,” she laughed as the young man pouted. 

“Don’t act all high and mighty, wise girl, last I checked, you’d burned your tongue on that extra large pretzel!” he shot back, clutching his head. The girl rolled her eyes, continuing to walk ahead of her partner a few paces before she paused and turned to Jorge, who had looked up briefly, still humming puppeteer, before going back to scrolling through Instagram and listening into the conversation. 

Her eyes scanned over Jorge briefly, before her eyes went wide. 

“Hello?” Jorge asked inquisitively. “Do you-uh-do you need something?” he questioned. 

At that point the young man had stopped clutching his head in a brain-freeze pain and looked in the same direction as his partner. 

“I knew I recognized that song!” she exclaimed, turning to her partner, who seemed incredibly confused. “Do you remember a few weeks ago, when you found that musical about the Odyssey on spotify?” she asked him, before turning back to Jorge. “I didn’t expect to find anyone else who knew the musical here, it isn’t as well known as it should be.”

“You wouldn’t be the first to say that,” Jorge responded, scratching the back of his neck and awkwardly laughing. 

The young ravenette man snapped his fingers, realization etching his features. “Oh that musical! I remember listening to that a few weeks ago! What was it, the Troy saga?” he paused, grinning, seeming embarrassed. “If I’m honest, ‘Just A Man’ almost made me shed a few tears.” He laughed. 

“Didn’t know I’d find others with an interest,” Jorge laughed, standing up from the bench he was sat on. “Jorge,” he greeted, holding his hand out to shake. 

The ravenette guy shook his hand first. “Percy,” he greeted in return with a smile. “And this is my girlfriend-”

“Annabeth,” the blonde-haired woman greeted, shaking Jorge’s hand after Percy did. 

“So what’s your favorite song?” Jorge asked, causing the young couple to start talking simultaneously about the musical.

It was only a few minutes later when Tayla walked out of the woman’s restroom, finding her boyfriend speaking to a young couple with a wide, mischievous smile wrapped on his face. 

Tayla walked up to her boyfriend, introducing herself and immediately being brought into the conversation with a few handshakes and an argument on whether Just A Man or Ruthlessness was better. She cast her vote for Ruthlessness and the two couples hit it off, exchanging numbers with each other.

It was only later that Percy and Annabeth learned that Talya was the voice of Circe after Percy pointed out how similar they sounded. They’d also learned that Jorge voiced Odysseus, meaning he was the creator of the musical.

By the gods, their luck was either spectacular or terrible. In this case, Tyche seemed to be on their side. 

Annabeth knew that the musical was inaccurate, and that it would continue to be, as did Percy. But Percy had an idea. Gods forbid the gods were to actually find this, but as long as Percy was still alive and ‘Persassy’ as Leo called him, he would make this musical hilarious. 

It seemed Annabeth agreed to go along with the plan, not entirely agreeing with the portrayal of her mother, but who did seem genuinely interested in helping out Jorge and Tayla. 

Plus, the camp had just begun to find the musical.

Chapters: Chapter 1

Taglist:

@the-beloved-genloss-niki

(Let me know if you’d like to be added)

[computerbugged]

[hauntingofhouses]

We all already know Mizu and Akemi are narrative foils. But you know what? Lemme just say it, here's what I think:

Taigen and Mikio are foils.

Not necessarily to each other as individuals in the way that Mizu and Akemi juxtapose each other, but mostly in the contrast between their relationships with Mizu.

I've covered specific parallels between Taigen and Mikio in other posts I wrote; but as the number of parallels I'm noticing between them keeps piling up, I'm compelled to just compile them all in one post. So! This is, thus, the post in question.

First of all, let's look at their similarities.

1. Their status in society is the same. They are both samurai who lost their honour and have dreams of reclaiming it.

2. They are also both diligent as they strive to achieve this goal, they both care deeply about their work, but here as they begin to contrast, as the work in question and way they go about their goals is different:

For Mikio, his work is in taming and rearing horses; in order to prove himself, he must tame Kai—a willful and strong horse—and present it to his lord. For Taigen, his work is in sword fighting and martial arts; in order to prove himself, he must kill Mizu—a willful and strong swordsman—and present her dead body to his lord.

In the parallel above, not only are Taigen and Mikio contrasting each other, but Mizu and Kai are placed in comparison as well. And of course, Kai is Mizu's horse, and represents her. Which is why, when later, Mikio sells Kai off, it represents the way he is tossing Mizu (and their relationship) aside.

From there, the rest of the details of their character begin to contrast and juxtapose each other more clearly. So let's look at those differences, shall we?

Their backstory:

Mikio was a great samurai who was banished. A somebody to a nobody. Taigen was a fisherman’s son who rose to the top. A nobody to a somebody.

2. The first time we meet them on-screen:

Mikio is an adult. An older man. Mizu's superior in age. He is Mizu's to-be husband. A love interest. Taigen is a child. A young boy. Mizu's peer in age. He is Mizu's bully. An antagonist.

3. Their maturity and growth:

Mikio is mature, but stuck in his ways. Taigen is immature, but capable of changing and learning.

4. Their overall attitude:

Mikio is generally relaxed, easy-going and unfussy. Taigen is uptight, irritable and severe.

5. How they talk to and conduct themselves around Mizu:

Mikio is aloof, soft-spoken, and serious. Taigen is obnoxious, brash, and sarcastic. Mikio is quiet, speaking only when spoken to, even when Mizu turns to smile at him and shows openness to be near him. Taigen is loud, talking while others are silent, even when Mizu turns from him and shows no interest in conversing with him.

Mikio doesn't show much of who he is to Mizu throughout their marriage, despite their growing affection. Taigen openly shares his traumas and life story to Mizu during their brief alliance, despite their mutual antagonism.

6. Their external vs internal selves:

Mikio is calm, gentle, and considerate on the outside. Taigen is hot-headed, rude, and selfish on the outside. Mikio is cowardly and deceitful on the inside. Taigen is brave and loyal to a fault on the inside. Mikio tells Mizu that he wants to know and see all of her. But he scorns and betrays her, the woman he loves. Taigen tells Mizu that he wants to duel and kill him. But he endures torture to not betray him, the man he hates.

9. Their hair, a symbol of their honour:

Mikio's topknot is untied by Mizu during their spar. This humiliation occurs in private, the two of them alone in a rural location where no one can see them. Taigen's topknot is cut off by Mizu during their duel. This humiliation occurs in public, the two of them being watched by many others in the Shindo Dojo.

10. Their power dynamic with Mizu:

Mikio believes he is Mizu's mentor. He teaches her to throw knives, how to ride and care for horses, and about the tactical benefits of using a naginata. Taigen believes he is Mizu's equal. He views Mizu as a samurai like himself who received all the same teachings he did, and who possesses the same values.

11. Their perceptions of Mizu:

Mikio sees Mizu's feminine side first. He sees her as sweet and gentle, but also clumsy and incompetent. Taigen sees Mizu's masculine side first. He sees her as terrifying and deadly, but also strong and skilled.

12. The way they approach sparring with Mizu:

Mikio only spars with Mizu once. As the fight progresses and she is beating him, he tries to put a stop to it. When she teases/provokes him, he starts taking the fight personally and seriously, finding no enjoyment in it. Taigen spars and brawls with Mizu all the time. No matter how many times Mizu beats him, he doesn't back down. When Mizu challenges him with a chopstick, he is eager to compete with her and gladly rises up to the challenge.

Mikio and Mizu's one and only spar is a friendly match; Mizu is smiling and having fun while he grows increasingly frustrated. Taigen and Mizu's last-seen spar is a playful wrestling match; both him and Mizu are having fun and laughing.

Mikio cannot deal with Mizu being better than him, so he scorns her and walks off, avoiding her thereafter. When Taigen cannot deal with Mizu being better than him, he follows her to observe her moves and continues training in hopes to eventually beat her. After being bested by Mizu once, Mikio leaves her and sells the horse he'd previously gifted to her. After many times losing to Mizu and fighting alongside her, Taigen commends her and admits she is better than him.

13. When Mizu pins them down in a friendly spar:

Mikio sees Mizu's whole face objectively. Taigen stares at Mizu's mouth and eyes.

Mikio gets angry when she kisses him, throwing her off of him and snapping at her, calling her a monster. Taigen gets aroused, apologising, so she pulls herself off of him.

14. Mizu's blue meteorite sword is a reflection of her soul. She believes most are undeserving to face it, let alone hold it. And on that note:

Mikio is the first person (chronologically) that Mizu fights against using her sword. Taigen is the first person (we see on-screen) that Mizu fights against with her sword. Mikio is the first person (chronologically) to ever hold her sword, as she passes it to him, letting him wield it. Taigen is the first person (we see on-screen) to ever hold her sword, as she passes out, and he picks it up and carries it for her.

15. Then, last but not least, in Fowler's fortress, when she is drugged and in pain, she hears Ringo's voice in the dungeon. She then follows it to an open cell:

Mizu first sees Mikio as a hallucination, the sight of him haunting her and causing her to lose her grip on reality. Her eyes glow a surreal blue to represent this. Her Mama appears then and says Mizu's name accusingly.

Mizu then sees Taigen, but he is real, the sight of him a relief and grounding her back to reality. Her eyes return to their normal blue colour to represent this. Taigen looks at Mizu weakly and says her name softly.

Then, later, when facing Fowler, her revenge awaiting her, she instead chooses to follow her conscience (represented by Ringo's voice in her mind), putting aside her vengeance for a time, in order to save Taigen.

So that's basically all the ones I've noticed so far, but even then, I feel there's already so much that forms a contrast between these two.

What makes it especially incredible about these juxtapositions is that Mikio was Mizu's husband, the man she had fallen in love with, the one person she had ever been intimate with, the man who made her begin to accept herself, to put down her desire for vengeance and instead live a life of peace and happiness.

So for Taigen to have so many parallels with him... Do you see what I'm saying here!

Not to mention that Mizu clearly already has some burgeoning attraction to him, as indicated by how she thinks of him when asked about her desires. And Taigen clearly has shown interest as well (see: him getting a boner after their spar, him holding her hand and telling her, "We're not done yet.").

And on the topic of speculating future possibilities of this relationship, this post by @stromblessed has pointed out yet another parallel between Taigen and Mikio:

Mizu promises Taigen to meet him for their duel in autumn. Mizu fell in love with Mikio and duelled him during autumn.

With all that said, I do believe Mizu and Taigen's relationship is definitely hurtling towards something. But whether they will actually end up together in a sustainable relationship and have a happily ever after? Well, that is a whole other story; we'll just have to wait and see.

[deeva-arud]

Deeva Årud - Club Wear Voice Lines

When Summoned: Lights dimmed, tension building up… Are you ready to feel our rhythm? Summon Line: Playing music with friends is fun, I’m glad to be here even though I’m starting to feel a bit nervous.

Groooovy!!: We’d be delighted to see you at our next show. Spotting a familiar face among the crowd is always nice. Home: “Let’s rock and roll”, as some would say. Home Idle 1: I joined the Pop Music Club on my second year. Perhaps it’s quite a drastic change from my previous club but… it’d be a lie to say I’m not enjoying my time here. Home Idle 2: Most of the time I’m the one suggesting we should practice, but somehow Lilia, Cater and Kalim always distract me with all these unknown snacks and gadgets. Sometimes I have the feeling they do it on purpose… Home Idle 3: I need to warm my hands, it’s hard playing an instrument when they’re cold. Home Idle – Login: *humming Piece of My World* Ah- sorry, I didn’t see you there. Can I help you with something? Home Idle – Groovy: I’ve been playing violin and other instruments since I was a kid. My family has always had a connection with music and I’ll gladly continue this legacy. Conveying your thoughts and feelings through sounds is quite satisfactory. Home Tap 1: My first concert with them? Since it was the first time I’d be playing in front of many people, I knew I’d have a hard time trying to look at the audience. Cater noticed and told me to look at him so I could feel less overwhelmed… Let’s say I didn’t expect him to be so literal. His clones substituted the audience because no one came to see us. Home Tap 2: Hm, my violin? Indeed, it’s not the same one I use at Mostro Lounge. An electric violin is more suitable for the club’s activities. I’m surprised you noticed it. That means someone’s been paying too much attention to the musician playing ambience music… That was a joke. Home Tap 3: Kalim and I joined the club in the same year so I got to see how much he’s improved his drumming technique. It’s impressive. Certainly, Lilia’s been an excellent teacher to him. Home Tap 4: I like the idea of having customized masks for our performances. Maybe I should mention it once we have enough funds. Home Tap 5: I recently accepted to do some vocals just for our club sessions. You can come see us, but please refrain from telling everyone else. At the moment, I only feel comfortable singing for a few people. Home Tap – Groovy: When it comes to a band like this many wouldn’t think of a violinist, but that actually gives songs an interesting feeling, don’t you think? Duo: [DEEVA]: Ready for a shocking performance, Cater? [CATER]: Ready as ever, Dee-chan!

[xskyll]

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First

[prncewilhelm]

in case you haven’t thought about wille yet today, here he is :) 

[batsplat]

casey also talks about sepang 2015 what do you think of that

oh in that podcast? uh... lemme listen again...

yeah idk it's not really anything new I'd say? he's said basically all the same stuff in more interesting and extensive ways elsewhere. I think casey inevitably has a very 'well feuding is bad and helps nobody' point of view, has expressed that before in the past, does it here again, and he's also drawn a parallel between himself and marc on several occasions. which... well, of course there's similarities in terms of public discourse or whatever, but the parallel really falls apart whenever casey argues the feuds cost valentino. like, I do think it's sometimes important to just. keep in mind. it's interesting that casey draws this comparison in his mind but that doesn't necessarily means he's right about this. I'm not sure how you'd argue that starting a feud with casey cost valentino anything competitively? you can argue it didn't help him I guess, and then we can have a debate about the ins and outs of the 2008 season. we can also have an argument that in a hypothetical world where casey isn't ill in 2009, valentino doesn't break his leg and casey isn't on a piece of junk in 2010, and valentino isn't on a piece of junk in 2011-12, then actually maybe valentino sparking open animosity with casey COULD have cost him. but we don't know that! didn't happen! I wish we could have found out, but we never got the chance! as it stands, the tally on this is pretty straightforward: casey won the title when things were reasonably civil between them in 2007, and valentino took control of the following season at the exact moment he worsened the relationship between the pair of them in 2008. obviously, it's all more complicated than that and casey would of course argue laguna didn't negatively affect his subsequent performances... but it certainly didn't help them. like, at the very worst valentino escalating tensions in 2008 is a complete net neutral. after 2009, them being bitchy to each other every other tuesday was completely competitively irrelevant beyond maybe affecting how they approached occasionally fighting for a podium position. hey, maybe casey used that feud to fire himself up through sheer spite throughout the later stages of his career, but that doesn't actually support his anti-feud stance - it's basically the exact same thing as what valentino does. they're both quite similar in that regard! always so hungry to prove a point, to show how someone else is wrong. kinda half the point with this feuding business is to get yourself going, get yourself motivated, yeah. he straight up openly admits to using yamaha's repeat rejection of him as a way of giving himself motivation, and at the end of the day that's really not all that different?

anyway, what else does casey say... oh yeah, that him and the other aliens were already kinda prepared for this and had learned vale's tricks. that valentino had only been able to get into the minds of the previous generation. welllllll *wiggles hand* sure, I mean, he did clearly have to change his approach... he couldn't just use the exact same playbook to get to them, either on-track or off-track. but that's why he did change up the playbook... again, whether you want to believe valentino won his final two titles 'in the head' rather than just through pure pace kinda depends on how you assess the evidence, but it is at the very least a debate. and, y'know, it's always worth remembering that valentino's most important mind games with casey didn't happen in a press conference... it was on the track. and the on-track stuff really is just embedded in how valentino approaches winning. speaking of aliens, this is what dani and jorge have said:

like, valentino's entire approach to his riding, even to the way he's setting his bike up, is deliberately about directly fucking with you... he's not actually always trying to be faster than you as much as he's trying to give himself the tools to make your life miserable, to pressure you into mistakes, etc etc... and again, especially with casey (if anything because he was so mentally sturdy), the off-track stuff was really just window dressing. (I know they bicker a lot after 2009 but it's just so fundamentally irrelevant to actual on-track competition.) so you can be aware of those tricks, but it also doesn't necessarily help you when someone's being nasty to you on-track in a way you just fully do not enjoy. which is what it was like for casey! for casey, a lot of this comes back to the truly unpleasant context of how he was perceived by the public, how he was treated as mentally weak or 'broken' or whatever partly because he had the misfortune of coming up against a bloke who had the reputation for breaking rivals. I think it's quite natural to end up with a bit of a hardliner 'actually I've never been mentally affected by a result in my life' stance - and of course casey is a lot tougher than a lot of people give him credit for. that being said. sometimes your rivals affect you, shit happens, it's part of the game. it's fundamentally a nice idea to think that valentino's tactics weren't just morally wrong but also ineffective, which is kind of the appeal of this narrative, right? you want to believe you're above that, you want to believe you were adequately prepared and wise to valentino's tactic. it's unsurprising and understandable that casey does tend to tell the story that way, but again it's *wiggles hand* also hard to describe it as completely factual

uh. what else. oh I'm thrilled casey does canonically know valentino and marc were friends, he has said he wasn't following motogp too much during that time period so you couldn't be sure of that. does this mean anything? does it tell you anything? well, no, but it's just a pleasing thought to me. I like that. oh also 'provoking particularly aggressive riders isn't a good idea' is kinda a funny take from casey? like, he of all people would hate the idea of being cowed by someone's reputation like that... casey's right that provoking fast riders can potentially be dangerous, but y'know I do think that's probably not news to anyone almost nine years later. um. that's all I've got I think

[transformers-earthspark]

....holy sh-

THE ONE NIGHT I'M NOT HERE, WE GET JAWBREAKER'S ALTMODE?????

[girlcrushau]

[ink--theory]

wrist pain starting to go down to a more manageable level as the week goes by

ultimately decided to not participate in this upcoming eggstra work as to not agitate my wrist any further ^^

[arklay]

WIP DAY.

tagged by @girlbosselrond @morvaris @aartyom @risingsh0t @phillipsgraves @leviiackrman @indorilnerevarine & @denerims over the past month! sorry it's taken me so long to get to anything at all, i'm sure you guys have heard me address it enough, but thank you all so much for continuing to tag me in things while i've been inactive ♡

tagging @aelyosos @brujah @calenhads @florbelles @jendoe @lightwardens @liurnia @nokstella @nuclearstorms @shadowsofrose @shellibisshe @steelport @swordcoasts @wrymbloods @voerman & all of those who tagged me again cause i'm so behind + anyone else who'd like to share anything they're working on, not just writing! ♡

i haven't written anything since the last wip game i did, but i started trying to put diana's timeline together at the start of january, so i mean... i'll show that instead. as you can see, fatigue hasn't let me do much with it even though i've got all of her timeline already done and strewn about all over the place.

started with 1995 onwards cause it was originally going to be an ewskers timeline situation, but then wanted to include all of her backstory so i went back to the start and still have the late 80s and early 90s to get through before then, but yeah :]

it's going to include like all little moments i've thought of between the ewskers just for me and placing them on the timeline, so you can imagine how long this is going to get if i have to go to 2021 for village... like just 1996-1998 is going to be so much... she's very special to me if you couldn't tell already lmaoo

never sharing this though, it's just for me, and like will help for when i do her timeline page (more in-depth version of what's on her oc page) to just run through canon events and brief descriptions and whatnot. you understand.

everything is blurred out besides 1995 ewskers momence and the years, just cause like idk her i feel weird sharing her in-depth backstory unless it's in dms or something, just cause there's lots going on there and yeah. things. idk

i also made a carrd for twt if you wanna have a look at that :] there's some cheeky subtle things with the two resi items i used as pics hehe

actually, you know what, i'll give a lil bit from where i left of with that rewrite anyways, even though it's been months since i wrote it. but why not

Wesker left a fleeting kiss behind her ear then reached around her and hooked his fingers beneath her coat, prompting Diana to glance back at him. But all he did was gently pull it from her shoulders. She watched him from out of the corner of her eye as he hung it up on the rack by the door, his movements careful and almost calculated, until he turned back towards her, and the warmth of his body returned once more. He pressed up against her side this time, as opposed to her back, and one of his hands found a home on her waist. The way the arm it belonged to was resting firmly against her as he began leading her towards the kitchen was comforting, secure, yet unmistakably possessive. And she revelled in it. He had quite the knack for handling her just the way she wanted.

[sureuncertainty]

being frontstuck sucks anyway all the time but ESPECIALLY when i'm fronting completely alone.