#i project parts of myself onto them
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they may not be a fan favorite when it comes to my designs (atleast thats what i assume? she doesnt get as much attention as the others do especially during art fight) but movie maker is one of my favorite designs to draw ever đđ i love making the sky in their face different colors based on mood and auuuugh 𼚠so Yayâ¤ď¸
#i project parts of myself onto them#my gender and sexuality mostly#but also some feelings#and their design is just rlly silly idk I'm like proud of myself for it i guess#me when im obsessed with my own characters based on computer programs
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I love the idea that Sasukes a little autistic bugger who doesn't understand social situations and is incredibly anxious, but actually out of team 7 I feel like he's the most emotionally intelligent. Also he has no shame. He does not physically know what that is and says the most chaotic shit for no reason other than he wanted to.
#I think for I while I was just projecting myself onto him with that first part#We both have autism me and Sasuke but we are on wildly different parts of the spectrum#I used to refuse to ask for food bc i thought needing to eat was embarrassing#Sasuke just does shit like he still has a lot of pride but i think that actually works with him#Bc if he didn't then he would be like way dead by now#I feel like in any social situation if he doesn't do something it's not out of anxiousness it's just that he doesn't care#And/or can't be bothered#Sakura or Naruto telling the server he asked for no pickles not bc Sasuke is nervous but bc he gen just doesnt want to#Doesn't follow social norms bc he's above that who cares what people think he does whatever the hell he wants you don't own him#He only follows them in Og bc I feel like that version of him is actually very prone to feeling embarrassment or shame#Does not care in shippuden#And he does it out of If he pisses these people off they will put him back in prison in the blank period#Me when i forget to hold the door open and now the cloud president wants me executed#I think if Sasuke stayed in the village he would be very prone to just making up bullshit for the fun of it#If you ask âis that true?â He will immediately be like âNo I liedâ#He just thinks it's fun#By now everybody knows to just ask if whatever hes saying is true or not bc he doesn't lie about that part#He likes seeing people react to things I feel#sasuke#uchiha sasuke#naruto#naruto shippuden#pro sasuke uchiha#Moldy-flowers#I say this but he's pretty non confrontational#Like if he gets too angry he'll leave the room#IF he stayed in the village- in canon he'd just stab the person#He would rather not engage in pointless battle though#Any version of him
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the thing about me is that the process of waiting for a new ep is relatively new for me... i watched the pilot when it came out like everyone else did but at the time i was too focused on a different show to really care (one, which is funny, since its an extremely similar show conceptually) (i highly recommend it i was obsessed w it for well over a year and thats like. genuinely some sort of record for me. and when i say the shows are similar i mean soooo similar. not enough that they fill the same spot in my heart but like. if you watch it ull see what i mean heart emoji). i was around when the teaser came out but i wasnt super invested at the time. it was only like 2 months ago that i decided to get high and watch the show and i was like. woah. woah wait this show fucks
ive liked shows n stuff that were ongoing so its not like im unfamiliar w that concept but i feel like every show and its community and its team has a different feeling and cycles to new parts of it coming out. and bc ive never seen how that works for this show im very excited to find out... i find older posts abt teasers and images from episodes and the site and whatnot and i imagine ill be weird and very not normal about it! because that tends to be my response to those sorts of things
#hell i watched it all AFTER even the qna happened#so i really havent been around for like. Anything#well i guess that ad. that was cool!!!#but like yea.... i wasnt around for a lot of things and its weird to think about w how invested i am abt the show now LOL#ftr i love the pilot btw i think when it came out i just had diff priorities. and also the humor overwhelmed me a little#its very unabashed about itself. its not ironic in any capacity and is extremely sincere and just has Fun w the humor aspect#and i think im still working thru my own issues in regards to letting myself be sillier and stuff and i kinda projected that onto the show.#but!! Now I Know#even w the pilot i actually didnt know about literally any glitch shows before it so i had zero context for it though#i wish id watched it sooner but also its a classic henry move to get obsessed w something well aafter its been established#well theres been a few exceptions over the yrs.... but i tend to find things after theyre done#or after a bunch of cool shits already happened so i never had the experience of being part of the community when that was happening#it does make it silly i got into the show after ep 4 aired because thats basically the last ep to be relevant to the teaser#i mean theres the stadium but. waves hand. we dont even know abt npcs for that. if therell be any#(6 ppl IS small for a softball/baseball team im p sure... maybe theyll fill out the teams w them? idk)#either way! im excited to see what the experience of gradually learning abt an upcoming ep and then it comes out#is gonna feel like for this show!!!#i wont be normal about it!!! and i think i should let myself be a little less normal about things. cus its fun and freeing#anyway thats all these tags are soooooo long... im just in a bit of an excitable mood rn!!#smiles and grins!
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it's too fucking hot where i live so it's time to draw my blorbo complaining abt it
#artists on tumblr#digital art#cj heart#cccc#chonny jash#chonny jash fanart#projecting myself onto my favorite guys part 457443452: giving them belly button piercings#because they're cute and i have one. and more men* need them
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I hate how hard it is to come up with character names because how am I supposed to make character playlists that make me even more insane about my own OCs WITHOUT BEING ABLE TO PUT THEIR GOTDAMN NAMES IN THE PLAYLIST TITLE??!
#making romantic songs platonic is my specialty and visatori cu plumb in ochi by alternosfera and zid by om la luna are literally my latest#ocs. the martyr and the person who most cherishes them#bitches aren't even doomed by the narrative they just choose to doom themselves the moment they meet eyes in every universe without fail#they could be born in completely different solar systems and somehow they'll still find each other#they are not soulmates. the universe has not ordained this. they have perfectly good matches out there AND YET. every. single. fucking. time#they manage to drift together for a fraction of a second and latch onto eachother like baby sloths with separation anxiety. they make the#gods froth at the mouth. they have a liege-devoted knight relationship but they both believe themselves to be the knight. one is always#fated to die young and the other is fated to outlive everybody they care about. they kill each other in at least half the lives they lived#because they trust no one else to know their will better even though they do not remember any of their previous lives. they drive me nuts.#i have become the god of mysteries. he is me. stop killing yourself gayboy it automatically transfers ownership of the revolution to my#representative and she's scary! she's gonna take your plan and add a 20 year projection of ways to improve it! i need you to step up and#force her to make sensible decision PLEASE#anyways. this is part me rambling part me leaving myself a note to add this songs to a playlist that may or may not exist in the future#boo rambles
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Iâm calling off my SI/OC fic.
#the si/oc fic that may never be written#at this point it may be true đ#maybe I jinxed myself with that tagâŚ.#who knew that inserting yourself into a story is difficult even if itâs an avatar (or avatarsâŚ) of yourself#if you want to like take the story seriously and not treat it as purely a power fantasy then things getâŚ..tricky#like who am I even#my personality varies greatly depending on the environment that Iâm in#maybe Iâm just overthinking a normal part of the human experience#at this point I think itâs just easier to project onto existing characters in canon while being careful of not projecting *too* much onto#them#like as long as thereâs like one trait that I can relate to then I can have something to work with I feel#I donât need to write them as myself#and I can give them a rollercoaster of wins and losses#Uchiha-gaeshi overshares#I think thinking about the self insert was a good distraction but at this point it has come to a hiatus#I need to think of other shit to write#and also a key issue I faced writers block wise was trying to distinguish the characters from each other#it got to a point where I had to kill characters off (all in my headâŚ) because I just didnât have the space to fully flesh them out#maybe one day Iâll be able to do this justice#but todays not the day#I just want to throw a random crack event and the founders and see how they react#or write aus of modern Konoha hsitorians looking at shit in the WSE and going âhey thatâs kinda gayâ#like maybe I should just disperse aspects of myself across different characters or make normal ocs and see how shit goes#or maybe this is the chance for me to start honing my smut writing skills for that 50 person uchisaku fic Iâve been wanting to write#I guess maybe my fear is that someone will glean something embarrassing from my writing and make a snap conclusion about my entire life#something something the fear of being perceived???#well at this point it was diminishing returns to the point of affecting my ability to enjoy fandom#for now Iâll just be in my little corner I guess#Uchiha-gaeshi ramblings#txt
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it is unfortunate when i go to prayer and cry my eyes out and the only response i really hear is that i simply have to bear it. like usually i can get my emotions out and once theyâre settled i hear a rational solution but it sucks when i donât get the answer i want. i just have to keep waiting. like normally i hear something that gives me strength but wow apparently iâve hit a new low
#literally all my problems would be so much easier to deal with if i had friends#and normally iâd be told âdo this and youâll probably find friendsâ#my plan has always been just to wait for someone to find me bc iâm horribly shy and antisocial#even though logically i know thatâs a bad way of going about it#my logical rational analytical brain has always been obsessed with finding concrete answers. itâs always been âwhat can *I* doâ#so even when i suffer thereâs a part of me that says âitâs ok once iâm done crying i can work this out and go right back to tryingâ#iâve been emotionally dead for years but iâve always held onto faith like that#tonight i feel like iâve been brought low. i feel like iâve finally been told that i might just have to wait after all#which i might think would be comforting bc it absolves me of responsibility#but itâs actually crushing bc it absolves me of power#i feel like iâm finally facing the realization that iâm powerless and pathetic and iâm never going to be able to fix myself#that i can try as hard as i want but i canât shake off this cross#but i donât know how long i have to wait for someone to find me#and even if they find me how do i not fumble it#my first instinct is to push people away bc i assume theyâre not really interested theyâre just trying to be nice#which is usually true#i donât even know how to sustain casual friendships and im so desperately in need of deep ones#i canât open up to someone without just breaking apart and making it clear how pathetic i am#one would think i ought to find someone better than myself who can fix me#but on the other hand i think the only time that the good parts of me come out is when im facing someone even worse than me#like i have a tendency to morph into the opposite of the other person in any given situation to maintain healthy balance#so like when surrounded by extroverts which is almost always i become an introvert#itâs rare to meet an introvert but then i become stronger and more extroverted around them. like something in me just loves helping others#even though i canât help myself#what do i pray for? a fellow pathetic person? or someone with the patience and kindness and life knowledge of a saint?#will either of them really be found just by chance in my life?#and even if i do meet someone. truly i wish theyâd also be lonely. i want them to need me#i donât want to be a pity charity case. like a side project for someone with real friends already
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built this life and now it's mine - Fab Four fluff + jetpoison* (platonic or romantic, up to interpretation) (for @caffeineecold)
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Kobra got the jukebox in the corner working two days ago and Jet's just returned from a run that nearly killed him but also scored them a crate of real booze â not the shitty moonshine brewed in the Zones that everyone pretends they like even though it tastes like the inside of the boot that gave bootlegging its name, real stuff.
Party's already sloppy drunk, sitting at the counter, and Jet doesn't usually let himself get this tipsy. Kobra and Ghoul sit in the corner next to the jukebox, picking out tunes and passing back and forth a bottle of champagne, of all things. For being a sandpup, Ghoul has expensive tastes.
Something bass-heavy is playing when Party slips from the stool and nearly topples over. Jet's reflexes are sluggish, but he manages to slide from his own seat and catch Poison. Party's pissed at him for nearly dying, again, and Jet expects a shove and dark look, but that's not what he gets. Instead, Poison leans into him, fitting them so naturally together that it's almost frightening.
"Y'okay?" Jet asks quietly into Party's hair.
"Dance with me, Star?"
Jet blinks, shocked. This is the last thing he expected. But he's just drunk enough, inhibitions just low enough, and he always crumbles when Pois calls him Star. Nobody else really ever does. "Sure," he finds himself saying, and Pois curls even more against him, their hands finding their places without even looking. It's too easy to sway back and forth together, in some facsimile of dance that's really just more an excuse for the comfort of touch that they both need, to the lilting gravelly guitars playing through the jukebox speakers.
The track skips and Kobra thumps the side of the box to get it playing again, a rising guitar interlude without words. Poison's head is nested against Jet's jaw, red hair filling his entire field of vision. On an impulse he doesn't resist for once, probably due to how tipsy he is, he presses his lips to Poison's temple.
"I'm sorry, sunshine," he whispers. "Fuck, Poison, I love you. Not the way... you want me to, probably, but I do. I love you so much." His eye is wide and staring, a little bit desperate. There's no other way he can say it.
"Don't leave me," mumbles Poison softly into the skin of his neck. The song is different now, something softer. "My Star..."
Jet closes his eye. "I'm not trying to," he says.
Poison sniffs, still swaying to the new tempo of this song. "Try harder."
Pois probably won't remember this in the morning. Kobra and Ghoul will give them weird looks, like they've completely lost it, and Jet will know why. Heck, they're giving them weird looks now, over the top of a champagne bottle and between smirking giggling asides to each otherm But Party is too drunk to retain much. They won't ever talk about it, except maybe when it comes up in an argument they force everyone to hear. You said you wouldn't leave me, you said you love me. I don't care how it is I just want you to love me whatever way you can.
The future is unfolding in front of them in so many ways. But right now it's just two friends, irresponsibly drunk and folded into each other.
#hey btw uhh I have never had alcohol and I likely never will bc of family history with it so. uh. yeah this was weird to write#but also very fun skfnskfnks#the progression of ''party'' (implies a bit of distance) -> ''poison'' (closer) -> ''pois'' (which is something only#Kobra ever uses out loud. like Kobra is the only one who can out loud call his brother that. the others think it though#and it definitely implies intimacy)#is something I think about a lot#btw the first song is the one I took the title from (accident prone by jawbreaker) and the second one is fade into you by mazzy star#uh so... part of the reason I don't romantically ship jetpoison is bc every time I write them I end up projecting#my own deep seated platonic Yearning onto them#also I'm dubiously aroace so like. that probably explains a lot abt why I don't write outright ship/tend to lean into ambiguous friendships#so whenever I use a ship name with an asterisk I'm basically saying idc if you ship it or even take what I'm saying as that#I personally just don't want to go there :)#sorry I am very confusing about this stuff. I can be slightly in love with my friends in a possibly aroace way đ
#I don't even understand it myself
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I found him you guys
The world's most masculine slovenian
#gu6chan's musings#drakengard#leonard drakengard#been educating myself a lot more on the slovenian language and culture since figuring out leonard was slovenian#and by far the most amazing thing ive learned is that slovenian men are known through the balkans as all being gay pansies bc of how their#language sounds LMAO#do you think he would be popular among the gay community there. do you think leonard would be a titoist#the hardest part of loving a character is having to honestly know them and as a stalinist this is the hardest thing i could say..... đ#need to brush up more on the history/historical boundaries so i can REALLY figure it out and make even more headcanons about him but...#its so nice actually having european(ish?) characters i can project myself onto instead of having to 'adapt' american characters lmao
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Itâs a running joke than one of my uncles has no one named after him (my momâs side is very large and very Catholic with multiple instances of the same name across and within generations), while everyone else has at least one relative named after them. Anyway, Iâm going to experiment with my gender a LOT when I move out (will update). If, by some chance, I do end up leaning more masc and wanting a name change to match, Iâll have the opportunity to do the funniest thing ever.
(This is not a declaration of my identity; only a somewhat realistic hypothetical scenario)
#I think part of the reason why I watch so many old movies with more eh⌠effeminate(?) (ish) male actors is because I want what they have#Iâm pretty sure Iâm not attracted to them (I mean yes in a way I am aesthetically but I canât see myself in a relationship with a dude)#(I project myself onto them if that makes senseâŚ)#I donât think Iâll want a name change only because the children call me by my given name (Ms. [my name]) and simplify it to less syllables#and itâs the cutest stinkinâ thing#Although I wouldnât mind being called like⌠idk⌠Jeremiah or Seamus (shay-muss)#If Iâm not careful sometimes Iâll introduce myself (in pseudonym) as âTerrenceâ in Japanese (ăăŹăłăš) instead of my given name#(âTarrieâ sounds weird in katakana)
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blog fun fact: named after a project that is abandoned
whole thing was written entirely on a fake social media website and my main characterâs username was andyforeverxoxo . my username is inspired by his but itâs true love because i thought it fit me better but you still have the andyxo . yeah
#i will probably not ever bring up this project again because ouch!!#it would do me psychic damage to have it rejected again!#but rare fsboh mention i guess#no one gives a fuck about it besides my friend which is fine. shouldâve stayed between the two of us anyways.#making a guy whoâs just like you and is probs the most vulnerable thing u ever made then watching no one else gaf is not good for#your mental state turns out.#whenever i think about it it sets my mental state sooo far back⌠so so so far back. and then i donât even want to create anything anymore#why i do not consider myself a writer anymore#old me wouldâve been sooo annoying about it#used 2 say i was a writer above a person because i was so desperate for people to actually care about my work#now I donât call myself a writer ever#because like. itâs just a career path ive given up on#not having a good night if you canât tell#lowkey.#if I had only posted about fsboh on social media it probably wouldnât have died#i can deal with no one paying attention to me on social media because like i know thatâs the game#i donât post to get attention really i just post because i donât have anyone to talk to#and it wouldâve probs been better that way . itâs fine if the internet rejects me but seeing people i used to think were my close friends#not care about something that felt like it was my very soul and who i am has sent me spiraling worse than my exes did#which is crazy. because they never even pretended to care about my writing#or maybe it was them and also fsboh. i donât know#i think the only reason my bedusseyfic hasnât died is because ive given up and for awhile had people who cared about it#now itâs just. i know better. if i bring it up i know no oneâs going to care and thatâs fine. accepting that is fine.#learned the art of shutting tf up about it#i wish i was better at that tbh because itâd save me even more grief. wish i knew how to not bring it up ever#anyways goodnight i need to sleep before i spiral even harder#adding onto this again but. like. i canât even consider myself a writer as a hobby anymore. like yeah i write#but im not a writer. not anymore.#i canât enjoy it like i used to because part of the fun for me has always been getting to discuss it and see people react and enjoy it#i like writing but i like discussing it even more and im just not good enough to have that anymore
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chin hair only thing local man likes about himself, mom constantly mentions he should shave it and he says he will later. he is mostly lying.
#sometimes i get scared abt it cos the more obvious it is the more clocky i am#and im already accidentally clocky just by like#well people dont like fat people for one and project things onto me#but for another i think unconciously the way i carry myself and dress makes ppl uncomf#being visably disabled makes them uncomf#people stare at me like theyre scared#ppl wont go in the bathroom if im in there#yanno. lots of things always happening#i feel a lot less safe than i used to#i used to keep my hair so short and i dont mind long hair#but it is kind of my plausible deniability these days#if i speak at my normal like register and depth ppl are like confused sometimes#have to make my voice higher#its already really soft when im out cos im scared of everyone#so like idk. but i also dont talk much so thats less helpful than u might think#idk no one 3ants to hear abt hiding ur transness#obviously ppl want me to be happy and like myself and my gender presentation#and just be myself in public#but i just. its not pratical for me#and its not like ill be able to actually medically transition anytime soon#so might as well lean into living as a woman as much as i van without getting too miserable#im so scared of things happening in this country and the part i libe in#and its just like. yeah this is depressing but my home isnt even safe for me to be trans in#so what else am i gonna do
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#what kinda asshole uses my private personal struggles against me#honestly my gut instinct was to not trust this person and i regret that i did#slowly but surely i realizes this person was kinda delusional at worst#but just really so socially inept and unaware of how their own behavior negatively affects others#they can be such an energy vampire but really loud and in your face in such an aggressive way#totally wrong instincts to trust them and iâm kicking myself#like i stood up to them when they did something totally out of line#and now iâm paying the price by getting stabbed in the back#honestly iâm glad i can at least avoid them for the most part#iâm just so irritated that they project so much anxiety and insecurity onto everything#get therapy; like actual hardcore therapy
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that scene from Up where heâs bestowing the badge but itâs me bestowing my a-spec headcanons onto my favs
#Donât look at me I canât help it that a bunch of characters I get attached to can fit the headcanon pretty easily#might be a part of why Iâm drawn to them tbh xD#Projecting myself onto my blorbos
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Lilith Through The Houses
Lilith in astrology (often called Black Moon Lilith) represents your raw, unapologetic power â the parts of you that are wild, taboo, and untamed. Sheâs the dark feminine, the seductress, the exile, and the witch. She shows where you refuse to be controlled, where you hold deep rage, sacred sensuality, and radical autonomy.
Lilith in the 1st House:
You are the taboo. People project their shame and desire onto you. Walking into a room is an act of defiance.
Core vibe: âI scare people just by being real.â
Lilith in the 2nd House:
Your worth isnât up for debate, but people keep trying. You own your sensuality and disrupt ideas of whatâs âvaluable.â
Core vibe: âI am the luxury you canât afford.â
Lilith in the 3rd House:
Your words seduce, provoke, and expose. You speak the unspeakable and flirt like itâs warfare.
Core vibe: âMy voice is a weapon and a prayer.â
Lilith in the 4th House:
Your roots are raw, sacred, and shadowy. You carry ancestral rage and transform it into inner power.
Core vibe: âI am the curse-breaker of my bloodline.â
Lilith in the 5th House:
You make creativity erotic and rebellion look like art. Unapologetically loud, unfiltered, and irresistible.
Core vibe: âBeing seen is my revenge.â
Lilith in the 6th House:
You make the mundane sacred. Your rituals are sexy, your routines are spells. You reject servitude, even in love.
Core vibe: âI will not shrink myself to be digestible.â
Lilith in the 7th House:
You attract intense, karmic partnerships. People fall in lust with your shadow. You show them who they really are.
Core vibe: âI mirror what you hide.â
Lilith in the 8th House:
You are the storm and the stillness. Sex, power, death, and truth â all wrapped in mystery. People crave you, fear you, obsess over you.
Core vibe: âI seduce, destroy, and transform.â
Lilith in the 9th House:
You challenge belief systems and ignite spiritual rebellion. Sacred knowledge lives in your bones.
Core vibe: âMy truth doesnât ask for permission.â
Lilith in the 10th House:
You were born to be seen â even if it makes others uncomfortable. You own your power publicly, and they either worship or crucify you for it.
Core vibe: âMy success is a threat and a prophecy.â
Lilith in the 11th House:
You canât be boxed into any collective. Youâre the rebel within the revolution â the one who changes the game by refusing to play it.
Core vibe: âI donât fit in. I change the culture.â
Lilith in the 12th House:
You are the embodiment of secret power. Your shadow whispers in dreams and your energy lingers in silence.
Core vibe: âMy power is hidden, but it moves mountains.â
#astro notes#astrology#birth chart#astro observations#astro community#astrology observations#astrology community#astrology degrees#astro#astroblr#astrologyposts#astrology content#lilith#astrology insights#houses in astrology
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m.jh â the egg project
genre: enemies to lovers, idiots to lovers, crack (bonedo dynamics mentioned) pairing: jaehyun x afab!reader wc: 4.6k warning: they're both a mess, non-stop banters. they kissed at the end. fought because of an egg. listen: antukin â rico blanco, i like me better â lauv, gusto ko lamang sa buhay â itchy worms, but i like you â boynextdoor
you donât even remember the last time you and jaehyun had a normal conversation. not that you ever really didâbecause for as long as youâve both been part of your respective sports teams, the only thing youâve ever exchanged were complaints.
it started with the mess.
âseriously?â you had scoffed one evening, walking into the gym after the basketball teamâs practice, only to find discarded water bottles, sweaty towels, and even an empty sports drink bottle rolling across the floor like a sad little tumbleweed.
the volleyball team had practice right after, and nothing pissed you off more than stepping onto a court that looked like a post-apocalyptic wasteland.
so, like any responsible captain, you took it upon yourself to find the root of the problem. and that root had a name: myung jaehyun.
âhey, jaehyun, clean up your teamâs mess next time,â you had called out after one of your shared gym sessions.
jaehyun, who was in the middle of chugging a bottle of water, raised a brow at you. âour mess?â
âyes, yours.â you gestured to the abandoned pile of trash near the bench. âyou leave the place looking like a hurricane hit.â
he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and shrugged. ânot my fault youâre allergic to a little dirt.â
ânot my fault you guys are allergic to basic hygiene.â
leehan, who had been dribbling a basketball nearby, snorted. âdude, sheâs got a point.â
âwhose side are you on?â jaehyun shot him a glare before turning back to you. âwe donât even leave that much of a mess.â
you let out a short laugh, stepping forward and kicking an empty bottle toward him. it rolled to a stop right by his foot. âoh yeah? then whose bottle is this?â
sungho, who had just been passing by, took one look at the scene and immediately pointed at jaehyun. âdefinitely his.â
jaehyun gave him a betrayed look. âare you serious?â
âi mean, statistically speaking, itâs more likely to be yours than mine,â sungho said with a lazy shrug. âi actually clean up after myself.â
âthatâs a lie and you know it.â
âokay, but do i leave sports drink graveyards on the court? no.â
you crossed your arms and smirked. âsee? even your own team thinks youâre the problem.â
jaehyun groaned, bending down to pick up the bottle before lazily tossing it into the trash can. âthere. happy now?â
âecstatic,â you deadpanned. ânow do that, but every time.â
from then on, it became an ongoing battle. jaehyunâs team kept leaving behind their junk, and your team kept glaring at them from across the gym. you never actually fought, not really, but there was an unspoken war between the two of youâone built entirely on glares, sarcastic remarks, and aggressively wiping down volleyballs while jaehyun walked past you like he owned the place.
one time, after another particularly messy practice, you had stormed into the basketball teamâs locker room, ignoring the immediate groans and complaints from the players inside.
âagain?â you huffed, pointing toward the gym doors. âwhy do i have to keep reminding you guys to pick up after yourselves?â
leehan, who was in the middle of changing into a fresh jersey, blinked at you. âdamn, i thought we locked the door.â
âshe probably kicked it open,â riwoo muttered, adjusting his towel around his neck.
jaehyun, who was seated on the bench, barely looked up as he tied his shoelaces. âmaybe if your team spent less time complaining and more time training, youâd actually win more games.â
your jaw dropped. âexcuse me?â
he finally glanced up, a teasing glint in his eyes. âjust saying.â
taesan whistled lowly. âoh, youâre dead.â
woonhak patted jaehyunâs shoulder like he was saying his final goodbyes. âit was nice knowing you, man.â
you took a deep breath, shaking your head as you turned on your heel. âyou know what? forget it. next time i see even one of your bottles on that floor, iâm chucking it at your head.â
âlooking forward to it,â jaehyun called after you, clearly amused.
god, you hated him.
as if the universe wasnât already laughing at you, things got even worse when your teams had to start training together.
your school had decided that since both the basketball and volleyball teams shared the same gym, you might as well train under the same program for conditioning sessions. this meant early morning drills, weight training, and endurance exercisesâtogether.
it was hell.
not because the training was hard (you could handle that), but because it meant spending more time around him.
the first morning session was already off to a bad start.
âalright, everyone, pair up,â the coach announced. âweâll be doing partner drills for todayâs endurance training.â
immediately, you turned to find one of your teammates, but before you could move, a familiar presence slid up beside you.
âguess weâre stuck together,â jaehyun said, his voice way too chipper for someone who just ran two miles as a warm-up.
you scowled. âwho says?â
he gestured around. sure enough, all the pairs had already been formed, leaving you and jaehyun as the only ones unpaired.
âunless you want to run laps alone, iâd say this is fate,â he added, smirking.
you groaned. âcurse.â
the drill was simpleâone person would hold a plank while the other jumped over them repeatedly. then, youâd switch. simple in theory. infuriating in practice.
you started first, dropping into a plank position while jaehyun jumped over you. the first few were fine. but by the fifth jump, you were sure he was messing with you.
âare youââ you gritted out, arms burning from holding yourself up, ââdoing this on purpose?â
jaehyun landed smoothly before hopping over you again. âdoing what?â
âjumping so damn slow.â
âyou should be thanking me. iâm giving you more time to work on your arm strength.â
you clenched your jaw. âi swear to godââ
âswitch!â the coach called.
you got up, shaking out your arms before shooting jaehyun a glare. âwatch how itâs actually done.â
he smirked, lowering himself into a plank. âlooking forward to it.â
you took a step back, bounced on the balls of your feet, and leapt.
you mightâve landed a little too close to his back.
âjesusâare you trying to kill me?â jaehyun yelped, bracing himself.
âoops,â you said, not looking the least bit sorry.
from then on, training together became a battle of who could annoy the other more.
âÂ
but the worst part? meal times.
since both teams had the same conditioning schedule, the coaches thought it would be a great idea for you all to eat together in the dining hall. something about team unity and bonding.
you called it suffering.
because every single meal, without fail, jaehyun would find a way to sit across from you.
like today.
âmorning, partner.â
you didnât even look up from your tray of eggs and rice. âgo away.â
ânah, i like it here.â
you stabbed at your food aggressively. âwhy are you like this?â
âlike what?â he asked, reaching over to steal a piece of your egg with his fork.
you smacked his hand away. âlike that!â
leehan, seated next to jaehyun, chuckled. âdude, one day sheâs gonna actually throw hands.â
âand iâll be ready,â jaehyun said, grinning at you.
you rolled your eyes, turning your attention back to your food, determined to ignore him. but thenâ
clink.
you glanced up. jaehyun had casually placed his sports drink on your side of the table.
you frowned. âwhat?â
he smirked. âjust marking my territory.â
sungho nearly choked on his juice. âbro, that sounds so wrong.â
taesan snickered. âhe means his half of the table.â
you glared. âi hate you all.â
â
and then there was the winking.
the first time he did it, you thought it was an accident.
the second time, you realized it definitely wasnât.
but by the fifth time? you were convinced he was just doing it to piss you off.
during games, during practice, even in the hallwaysâjaehyun had made it his personal mission to wink at you whenever he got the chance.
like during one of their practice matches.
you had been forced to stay behind in the gym, waiting for your teamâs turn. so, unfortunately, you had a front-row seat to watching jaehyunshow off.
you sat on the bleachers, arms crossed, watching as jaehyun dribbled past a defender with ridiculous ease. he moved with that effortless confidence, quick on his feet, spinning past his opponent before driving straight to the basket.
the ball swished through the hoop, nothing but net. his teammates erupted into cheers.
jaehyun turned, scanning the gym, and thenâ
wink.
you scowled immediately. âoh, for fuckâs sake.â
your teammate, yuna, who was sitting beside you, snorted. âwhat is his problem?â
âhe is the problem,â you muttered, gripping your water bottle with unnecessary force.
yuna hummed, clearly entertained. âyou know, for someone who âhatesâ him, you sure do pay a lot of attention.â
âi have to! someone needs to keep his ego in check.â
as if to prove your point, jaehyun jogged back to his side of the court, smug as ever, and made direct eye contact with you again.
you knew what was coming.
another wink.
you groaned dramatically, throwing your head back. âi hate him.â
woonhak, who had overheard from the bench, grinned. âthatâs funny, âcause he sure loves pissing you off.â
you shot him a glare. âgee, really? hadnât noticed.â
â
the winking didnât stop. if anything, it got worse.
during practice, in the dining hall, even when you passed him in the hallwaysâhe somehow found a way to send you that stupid, infuriating wink.
like today, after your volleyball practice.
you had just finished a brutal set of drills, sweat dripping down your back, when you spotted the basketball team lingering near the entrance. they mustâve been waiting for their turn in the gym.
and, of course, jaehyun was right at the front.
you barely spared him a glance as you grabbed your water bottle from the bench, but that didnât stop him.
âlooking good, captain,â he called out.
you narrowed your eyes. âshut up, jaehyun.â
he laughed, raising his hands in surrender before winking.
you swore you saw red.
leehan, standing beside him, sighed. âdude, what if she actually kills you?â
ânah,â jaehyun said, grinning, âi think sheâd miss me too much.â
you threw your towel at his face.
â
but as much as you hated to admit it, life was never boring with jaehyun around.
even when the two of you were forced into situations that made you want to rip your hair outâlike the latest disaster your biology professor had cooked up.
the day had started out normal enough. until you got your test results back.
you stared at the glaring red F on your biology test, feeling your soul leave your body.
beside you, jaehyun whistled, holding up his own paper with an identical F. âouch.â
you turned to glare at him. âwhy are you failing?â
he shrugged. âdunno. wasnât paying attention.â
âof course you werenât.â
before you could spiral into a full-blown academic crisis, your professor cleared his throat, looking way too pleased for someone who had just failed half the class.
âsince many of you didnât do well on the test,â he began, eyes twinkling mischievously, âiâve decided to give you all an opportunity to redeem yourselves.â
murmurs filled the classroom. you remained suspicious.
âyou will be given a partnerâsomeone who also failed.â
you immediately got a bad feeling.
âtogether, you will complete an assignment on responsibility and care. an experiment, if you will.â
you glanced at jaehyun, who looked just as confused.
the professor smiled. âfor the next week, you will take care of an egg.â
silence.
thenâ
âa what.â
the professor clasped his hands together. âan egg! consider it a simulation of caring for a delicate, fragile life. you must protect it at all costs and document your progress. and, of course, your partner will be chosen randomly.â
your stomach dropped.
and thenâ
ây/n and jaehyun,â the professor announced.
you slammed your head onto your desk.
jaehyun, meanwhile, let out a low whistle. âwell. this should be fun.â
you turned your head slightly to glare at him, cheek still pressed against the desk. âi swear to god, if you break our egg, iâm breaking you.â
he grinned. ârelax, partner. weâve got this.â
you groaned. âthis is literally my worst nightmare.â
jaehyun leaned back, crossing his arms. ânah. your worst nightmare is me leaving the gym extra messy just for you.â
you lifted your head just enough to glare at him. âdonât test me.â
he winked.
you nearly flipped your desk.
ânow listen carefully,â your professor continued. âyour assignment is simple. you must keep your egg safe for one full week. if it cracks, you fail. if you forget it somewhere, you fail. if i so much as suspect that youâre not taking this seriously, you fail.â
you felt a headache forming.
professor leeâs eyes narrowed. âand trust me, iâll know.â
a collective shudder ran through the class. professor lee was infamous for his unconventional teaching methods. last semester, he had made students carry around cabbages as part of a psychology experiment. cabbages.
you glanced at jaehyun, who was still grinning like he had won the lottery.
he thinks this is a joke.
you groaned. âiâm so screwed.â
ânah,â he said, leaning back in his chair. âwe got this.â
you turned to him, deadpan. âjaehyun. you literally failed this class.â
he placed a hand over his heart, feigning offense. âso did you.â
âyeah, but at least i actually tried.â
he snorted. âright. well, donât worry, partner. our eggâs in good hands.â
you didnât believe that for a second.
âone last thing,â professor lee added, holding up a basket. âbefore you leave, come up and receive your child.â
you almost choked.
child?
yuna was practically vibrating with laughter beside you. âyouâre gonna be a great mom.â
âshut up.â
jaehyun, on the other hand, was already making his way to the front, completely unbothered. when he returned, he was holding the egg in his palm, studying it like it was some ancient relic.
âalright, partner,â he said, plopping into his seat. âmeet our kid.â
you stared at it.
it was just a normal egg. nothing special. fragile, small, and already giving you anxiety.
âweâre so failing this,â you muttered.
jaehyun scoffed. âhave a little faith.â
you gave him a pointed look. âjaehyun. be honest. how long do you think you can go without dropping it?â
he paused.
thenâ
â...three days?â
you groaned again.
this was going to be the longest week of your life.
â
the first day of the project was already testing every ounce of patience you had.
you and jaehyun sat at one of the library tables, your so-called child resting in an old coffee cup between you. professor lee had made it clear that this assignment wasnât just about keeping the egg safeâyou had to document everything. feeding schedules (which made zero sense), bedtime routines, and even bonding activities.
you hated every second of it.
âthis is the dumbest thing iâve ever done,â you muttered, tapping your pen against the table.
jaehyun, who was busy doodling little lightning bolts around the word thunder in your shared notebook, smirked. âthatâs because you lack vision.â
âoh, i have vision. i see our grades plummeting.â
he leaned back in his chair, tossing his pen in the air before catching it effortlessly. ârelax, co-parent. we just have to act like responsible adults for a week.â
you squinted at him. âyou literally left the egg unattended five minutes ago to go buy chips.â
he waved you off. âour kid was fine. independent.â
âit's an egg.â
âit's our egg.â
you exhaled sharply, choosing to ignore him as you scribbled in the notebook. but then, out of the corner of your eye, you caught him reaching for the cup.
you tensed immediately.
âwhat are you doing?â
âholding my child.â
âno. no touching.â you moved the cup further away. âi donât trust you.â
he looked genuinely offended. âwow. you were the one who almost knocked it over earlier.â
âbecause you distracted me!â
âbecause you were making that stupid face while writing.â
âstupid face?â you gawked at him. âi do not make a stupid face.â
he shrugged. âif the shoe fits.â
you smacked his arm with the notebook. âcontribute to this or iâm making you do the whole thing by yourself.â
âfine, fine,â he sighed, taking the pen from you. he twirled it between his fingers before scrawling something next to your notes.
you glanced at the paper.
âbonding activity: jaehyun teaches the egg how to shoot a three-pointer.â
you stared at him.
âyouâre a menace,â you said.
he grinned. âand yet, here we are. bonded for life.â
you groaned, dropping your head onto the table.
and somewhere in the distance, leehan and taesanâwho had been watching from another tableâexchanged glances before bursting into quiet laughter.
the first time you stepped into jaehyunâs room, you had one goal: check on the egg, make sure it was intact, and leave.
but of course, nothing was ever that simple with him.
âwelcome to the nursery,â jaehyun said, kicking the door shut behind him.
you rolled your eyes. ânursery? itâs your room.â
âour son lives here now,â he replied, completely serious. âshow some respect.â
you sighed, stepping past him. his room was⌠surprisingly neat. you expected a messâbasketballs lying around, clothes thrown over furniture, maybe even an unmade bed. but aside from a few scattered notebooks and a pile of hoodies in the corner, it was normal.
too normal.
âwhere is it?â you asked, crossing your arms.
jaehyun walked over to his desk and held up a small shoebox. he lifted the lid, revealing the egg nestled in a bundle of socks.
you blinked. âyou put it in a box?â
âi made a crib,â he corrected, placing the box gently on his bed. âcozy, right?â
you sat down at the edge of the bed, peering inside. "you couldâve at least used a tissue or something instead of Nike socks."
âthose are premium cushioning. only the best for our kid.â
you scoffed, but you couldnât deny that the egg was perfectly fine. untouched. safe.
and then, jaehyun did something unexpectedâhe sat next to you. not across from you, not at his desk, but right next to you, so close you could feel the warmth radiating off of him.
the usual chaos, the usual bickering, the usual tension that made you want to strangle himâit was still there. but something else settled in between the silence.
it was different here.
âso,â he said, voice quieter than usual. âhowâs it feel knowing our son sleeps in my room?â
you turned to glare at him, but the second you did, you realized just how close he was.
your breath caught.
he was leaning on one arm, watching you with a lazy smirk, the kind that usually annoyed you to no end. but here, in this room, on this bed, it felt like something else.
something you didnât want to name.
âi donât care where it sleeps,â you muttered, looking away. âi just donât want it broken.â
âiâll take care of it,â he said, and for once, there was no teasing in his tone.
you swallowed. âgood.â
but when you tried to stand up, he didnât move.
âjaehyun.â
âhm?â
âmove.â
he grinned. "say please."
you shoved his shoulder, and he finally let you go with a laugh, flopping back onto the bed as you practically sprinted for the door.
âsame time tomorrow, co-parent?â he called after you.
you slammed the door behind you, heart pounding.
your hell starts the moment you start noticing things about jaehyun that you shouldnât be noticing.
itâs the way he moves on the courtâfast, precise, like he already knows exactly where the ball will land before it even gets there. itâs the way he runs a hand through his hair when heâs frustrated, the way he rolls his shoulders before a free throw, the way his eyes flicker to you after making a perfect shot, as if waiting for your reaction.
and itâs infuriating.
because now, even when youâre supposed to be focusing on your game, your team, your own playsâjaehyun lingers at the back of your mind like an annoying pop song you canât get rid of.
but the worst part? itâs not just at the gym.
itâs when youâre in his room, sitting on his bed, checking on the egg like always. except now, youâre hyperaware of how close he sits, how he sometimes lets his arm rest against yours like itâs nothing. how, when you pout at him over something stupidâlike the way he insists on calling your egg âjuniorâ instead of a normal nameâhis gaze flickers to your lips for half a second too long.
and jaehyun?
heâs in denial.
because this was not supposed to happen. he wasnât supposed to want to kiss you when you scolded him. wasnât supposed to feel heat creeping up his neck when you absentmindedly played with your necklace while talking. wasnât supposed to care that your team captain from another school once called you âimpressiveâ after a practice match.
he wasnât supposed to want you.
and unfortunately for him, his friends have noticed.
âso,â woonhak drawls one afternoon, lazily dribbling a basketball as they sit on the bleachers, watching you and your team wrap up practice. âwhen are you gonna admit it?â
jaehyun doesnât even look up. âadmit what?â
leehan snorts. âthat you like her, dumbass.â
âi donât,â jaehyun scoffs, leaning back against the bench.
sungho raises a brow. âright. thatâs why youâre staring at her like she personally offended you by existing.â
jaehyun looks away immediately, only for leehan to chuckle.
âyou do realize she probably feel the same way, right?â
that makes jaehyun freeze for a second.
taesan hums. âshe still argue with you, sure. but i see the way she get all flustered when you compliment her. she didnât used to react like that.â
jaehyun opens his mouth to deny it again, but then he thinks back.
to the way you stumbled over your words last week when he casually told you your spike was getting better. to the way your breath hitched when he tucked your hair behind your ear. to the way you hesitated before leaving his room the other night, as if you were starting to feel this too.
maybe his friends were right.
and thatâs when jaehyun decides: itâs time to test the waters.
so he starts pushing boundariesâjust a little.
at the gym, after practice, he doesnât just wink at you like usual. he lingers, waiting for you to react, grinning when you groan and shove him away.
when you come over to check on the egg, he always has food ready, pretending itâs no big deal when he slides a plate toward you.
âi didnât ask for this,â you huff, poking at the meal he made.
âdidnât say you did,â he shrugs, sitting across from you. âbut you always look tired after practice. eat.â
and that confuses you.
because what the hell is he doing? what the hell does he want?
youâd always known jaehyun as the annoying basketball captain who drove you insane, but nowâŚ
now heâs holding your hand a second longer than necessary. now heâs calling you âco-parentâ with a lazy grin that makes your stomach twist in a way you donât want to acknowledge. now heâs casually running a hand through his hair while watching you in between classes, like he knows something you donât.
and you hate that it scares you.
because if this is just another game to him, if heâs just messing with youâthen why does it feel so real?
the egg cracks.
not metaphoricallyâthough, honestly, it might as well beâbut literally.
youâre standing in jaehyunâs room, holding what used to be your child (as he so dramatically called it), staring at the jagged fracture running across the eggshell. your breath catches in your throat.
âoh, shit,â you whisper.
jaehyun, who had been leaning against his desk, looks up from his phone. âwhat?â
you slowly turn to him, the broken egg cradled in your hands like a crime scene.
âwe killed junior.â
for a moment, thereâs silence. thenâ
âoh my god,â jaehyun breathes out, eyes widening.
âweâre failures.â
âweâre murderers.â
âprofessor lee is going to slaughter us.â
âokay, first of all,â jaehyun says, quickly moving toward you, âyouâre the one who dropped itââ
âdonât you dare pin this on me.â
ââand second,â he continues, ignoring you, âwe just need a replacement.â
you blink at him. âyou want to⌠replace our child?â
âwouldnât be the first time people switched babies at birth,â he shrugs.
âyouâre insane.â
âdo you want to fail?â
you purse your lips. no. butâ
jaehyun sighs. âlook, we can sit here mourning an egg, or we can fix the problem. your call.â
you scowl at him, but heâs right. begrudgingly, you set the cracked egg down and grab your bag.
âfine. but if we get caughtââ
âwe wonât,â he grins, already grabbing his car keys and intertwining his hand with yours, âletâs go, co-parent.â
â
you manage to replace the egg. you turn in your project. you pass.
but thatâs not the ending.
the ending is this:
itâs late, and youâre at jaehyunâs house, sprawled out on his bed like always. the ceiling fan hums softly overhead, casting slow-moving shadows against the walls. the scent of his cologne lingers in the airâclean, familiar, a little too comforting. heâs sitting at the edge of the bed, lazily spinning a basketball on his finger, gaze half-lidded with concentration.
youâre supposed to feel relieved. the project is over. the ridiculous assignment, the stress, the stupid argumentsâyou survived it all. but your head is still spinning, not from exhaustion, but from something else. something heavier.
because things have shifted. you donât bicker as much anymore. the teasing has changed. the tension isnât sharpâitâs something softer now, something unspoken that curls around the edges of your conversations. something that lingers in the way his eyes stay on you a little longer than they should.
âso,â jaehyun says suddenly, voice cutting through the quiet. âyouâre still thinking about it.â
you blink at him. âthinking about what?â
he finally looks at you, and the corner of his mouth twitches like heâs amused.
âus.â
your stomach flips. you sit up too fast, the mattress dipping beneath you. âthereâs no us.â
jaehyun smirks. slow. knowing. like heâs heard the lie in your voice before you even said it.
âsure,â he hums, spinning the ball again. âbut i think about it.â
your breath hitches.
âwhat?â
he tosses the ball aside. it rolls off the bed, thudding softly onto the carpet, but you barely hear it over the sudden rush of blood in your ears. because heâs shifting, leaning in, invading your space in a way that makes your pulse stutter.
closer than necessary. closer than friends should be.
âi think about how much fun it is to piss you off,â he murmurs, and his voice is different this timeâlower, rougher. âi think about how much i like having you around.â
his hand lifts, brushing a stray strand of hair from your face. the touch is barely there, but it burns.
âand i think about how, if i kissed you right now, you wouldnât stop me.â
your breath catches.
because heâs right.
but the worst part? you donât want to stop him.
you donât move when his gaze flickers down to your lips. you donât push him away when his fingers graze your jaw, thumb tracing slow, feather-light circles against your skin.
and when he finally tilts his head and closes the distance, when his lips press against yours in something hesitant but undeniably realâ
you kiss him back.
Š hancorys, 2025.
#âââ đŹęŠ .á#cory's letter ËËđ˘Ö´ŕťđŚ˘Ë#bnd#bnd fluff#bnd x reader#boynextdoor#boynextdoor fanfic#boynextdoor fluff#boynextdoor imagines#boynextdoor scenarios#boynextdoor soft hours#boynextdoor soft thoughts#boynextdoor x y/n#boynextdoor ff#boynextdoor reader#boynextdoor x reader#bnd scenarios#bnd imagines#bnd jaehyun#bnd soft thoughts#myung jaehyun#jaehyun#myung jaehyun fluff#myung jaehyun fics#myung jaehyun imagines#myung jaehyun x reader#myung jaehyun x you#jaehyun x reader#jaehyun x you#jaehyun x y/n
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