#i prefer them platonic but also like romantic

[opencommunion]

seeing a lot of notes suggesting volunteering with or even just donating to charities and that's nice and all, but it's not the kind of connection I'm asking you to make.

several people brought up food banks so I'll take that as an example. when I was hungry I dreaded trips to the food bank bc the volunteers there had attitudes ranging from awkward to sanctimonious to hostile. if you can bring a better vibe to that role, great! but bad vibes are somewhat baked into the western model of "charity." when there's an impassable wall between the Helper and the person being Helped, it's violently dehumanizing at worst, and alienating at best; it def doesn't contribute to anything I would call "community." I ended up preferring my local Food Not Bombs chapter to the food bank, because it was organized largely by other hungry people and the vibes were more like a potluck than a breadline. look for mutual aid efforts (emphasis on mutual, meaning the service recipients are also involved in organizing the service), and if nothing like that exists where you are, start something!

volunteering can be an ok way to meet people outside your bubble, depending on the org you work for, but you need to actually give people your phone number and be up for supporting them beyond the volunteer shifts you schedule at your personal convenience. host people on your couch, offer to pick up groceries, become someone your neighbor feels comfortable asking to babysit. make friends, or at least acquaintances who you actually keep in touch with. take a personal interest in lives different from your own; meet people where they are and ask directly how you can best support them. if you check out when you clock out you're not in community.

I'm not just talking to the most privileged white lgbts, either. a lot of you guys are also suffering, but not making connections with similarly suffering people beyond your race and age group. if you're food/housing insecure, disabled, targeted by the legal system, renting from a slumlord, etc, start organizing around that struggle. start a homeless union or tenant's union, a skill exchange, a street watch group, a needle exchange, a rideshare network. think about what would help you, find other people with similar needs, and see how you can mutually support each other. that's community baby!

protests can also be a place to get involved in broader community, if you show up in a consistent way and really invest yourself. in racial justice struggle there's a pattern where higher profile protests lead to an influx of lefty whites, whose numbers rapidly dwindle as they lose interest or energy. when you show up to protests, talk to the organizers and find out how you can get sustainably involved in their efforts. the work doesn't stop with marching; you can also help with outreach, jail and court support, food/water/mask distribution, copwatching, and all the other support work that makes it possible for protesters to show up and keep showing up. if you're a medical professional, look for a street medic bridge training; if you're a legal professional, look into movement lawyering (if you're in the US the National Lawyers Guild has chapters all over); if you're athletic look for a de-arrest training. we always need more people with varied skillsets and there's definitely a place for you.

are you a minor? in a small town (here's a zine for you)? I was when I started! disabled, socially anxious, autistic, paranoid? I am, and so are at least half the radicals I know! you might be surprised by how much more comfortable and accommodating a radical space can be compared to other social settings (this varies ofc — if the vibes are bad hit the bricks!) so try to take a leap of faith and see what happens. you gotta be willing to put yourself in some amount of discomfort to get into actual community, but that community will get you through the hardest times of your life. bonds formed solely around personal attraction (romantic or platonic) or shared hobbies are not necessarily going to hold up when you're in crisis.

I don't believe anything white tumblr queers say about the virtues of 'building community' when they've made it clear 'community' to them means 'me and my white friends.' what are you building? a polycule on a hobby farm?

[jejeta]

radiostatic headcanon info [part one]

° I love them so much 👁️ one-side way is good, but I prefer to think, that Alastor also has some feelings for Vox

° their relationship is so completed, but I think it has some "base" I mean same interests, that Al and Vox have, both love to talk with their listeners/viewers, have same deportment in certain way [you saw that tictoks with collection of moments where they do absolutly same things just because] and they are showmen lol, world is a stage

° so, I usually draw them like lovers or Vox one-side minds about Al, however, my AU started in timeline when Alastor have already back in town and do stuff in hotel, main sanse of AU in the fact that Alastor and Vox meeting, talking, thinking about each other, so they slowly become "friends", morover Alastor finaly understand his feelings [not all, but biggest part] and one day they just turn into a romantic partners [platonic only]

ps: I don't really through about moment when AU ends, and what to do with extermination day arc, maybe I come up with it later

+ one cutie sketch

° dude I love to draw Alastor that kiss... no just pokes at Vox's display it's so funny andd I think Alastor will do this shit, because he know, that Vox obsessed and wait every little touch in his way, he is buffering every time when those things happening

[yawujin]

Do you have relationship headcannons for switz?

yas i do. i wasn't sure if you want platonic relationship or romantic relationship hcs so i did both! everyone say thank you yawujin 🗣

{ request } switzerland relationship headcanons 💭︎₊˚⊹

type | romantic relationship , platonic relationship , switzerland losing the idgaf war , cute , light hearted , short read , they/you pronouns used

friendship ♥︎

he's that type of friend that lets you vent for like two seconds before instantly coming up with solutions on how to solve your problems

if you need a gym buddy, go to him and he will agree instantly. he's also a really good option for a gym buddy because he'll help you get a good form on any exercise you do, especially if you're a newbie to working out (been there, done that)

he prefers to hang out with friends earlier in the day rather than at night. he's also a one on one type of friend, so when you do hang out it will just be you and him. he likes taking early morning walks plus coffee or tea, and then brunch at noon.

if it's a holiday, or your birthday, he'll get you nothing more than a box of gourmet chocolate and a card.

relationship ♥︎

makes sure his partner eats well. he doesn't take the "oh all i had to eat today was an iced coffee 🤪" excuse (guiltyyyy) even if it's a smaller meal, he wants to see that they had something to eat/drink

there is nothing that makes him happier than seeing his partner and his younger sister hit it off. if liechtenstein likes you, he knows that he'll be keeping you around for a long time

i feel like he would be the type to want to buy his partner some nice, and i mean NICE clothes. he has the income for it...so every once in a while he'll def take them shopping.

he doesn't say 'i love you' that often because he thinks his love and his admiration for his partner shows through how he treats them. but when he does, he gets all quiet and can't really look them in the face. he isn't used to showing his vulnerable side.

he doesn't even want to show that sometimes he gets jealous...but he's bad at hiding it. he's direct in telling them how he feels, though. somehow, it's easier than expressing how much he's in love with them.

[bisclavret]

what SICKO wrote the last scenes between gwaine and merlin is what i want to know. because even lancelot's last episode with merlin - which had to have been intentionally gay-coded since it's obvious the man is grappling with his feelings for merlin morphing from platonic to explicitly romantic - is still subtext because he doesn't have the tools to healthily express his feelings so he goes for the biggest romantic gesture he can think of: sacrificing his life to save a loved one. the writers also make sure to root this gesture back to gwen by adding a scene where she's inadvertently asking him to make that sacrifice first, so although it's very obvious that it's more for merlin than for gwen that lancelot dies for, she is there to add some plausible deniability, thus keeping his sexuality within the realms of subtext.

i don't want to delve too deeply into arthur's last scenes with merlin as there is both so much to unpack about what they mean to each other and there is also somehow nothing left to say that hasn't been said before. my point is just that there's so much at stake that if the viewer doesn't want to deal with the romantic subtext between them they can hang onto the 38 other dynamics merlin and arthur have represented to each other that the writers spent 5 years plastering on top of the gay subtext. basically, while the romance feels textual emotionally-speaking, it isn't "canon".

i don't mean to say that any relationship is better than another (even though i obviously have a preference) but that in gwaine's final scenes with merlin there's just no subtext anymore. his becomes the most explicit expression of romantic love towards merlin, and therefore the most explicit acknowledgment of homosexual love and the existence of queer people on the show:

it starts out with merlin suggesting that gwaine saved a girl from the saxons and then looked after her because he has a more than platonic interest in her, and they show us that merlin is right - gwaine and the girl eira slept together - even as gwaine half-heartedly denies any interest (which, why even deny it? merlin saw them holding hands! unless the lie is part of the point). then in that very same scene and directly after this exchange, merlin needs rescuing from the saxons, calls after gwaine, and gwaine performs the exact same role for him that he performed for eira: he saves him from the saxons and looks after him (for as long as merlin lets him).

the parallel between merlin and eira with such quick cause and effect (it literally all happens within the same minute) is where the shift from subtext to text becomes undeniable. yes, there have been other moments on the show where a character's affections towards two different genders are beat-for-beat the same, but, again, there has always been plausible deniability. in this case the parallel is meant to be taken at face value: the core point of it is to show us how gwaine expresses his attraction.

then, the dialogue they chose to bookend this scene with takes it a few steps further by functioning as a textual love confession to merlin himself: the scene opens with gwaine thanking merlin for everything he did for eira, and merlin saying that there is no need to thank him as it was the least he could do. a minute later, after merlin thanks gwaine for protecting him from the saxons as both merlin and the show just concluded gwaine did for eira for romantic reasons (even as he denied it by outright lying), gwaine parrots what merlin said when gwaine thanked him: no need to thank me, merlin, it's the least i could do.

but this comes off as the opposite of dismissive: in fact, this echoing of merlin's words is meant to jolt both merlin and the audience. by saying this right after saving merlin from the saxons, gwaine has now intentionally pointed merlin's attention towards the explicitly romantic parallel between himself and eira. gwaine is directly implying he just did for merlin what merlin correctly deduced he did for a woman because he desired her sexually and romantically, and he is using merlin's own words to challenge him into seeing past the initial flimsy lie that there is nothing between them. and what's behind the lie, of course, is that gwaine has done all of this and more because he desires merlin sexually and romantically. the camera even lingers on merlin, allowing him and the viewer to absorb what just happened. that for as long as we have known gwaine, his motivations have always boiled down to "i want to be there for merlin". and now both the audience and merlin finally know for sure what was motivating him the entire time.

what's more, by using merlin's own dismissive words, gwaine also implicates merlin's penchant for repression and denial and never allowing himself to be given credit where it's due. this unfortunately never properly gets dismantled on the show, but this moment shows that gwaine knows merlin well enough to know that he goes above and beyond for people, and that merlin's reasons for this ring as false to gwaine's ears as gwaine's reasons for saving damsels do to merlin. it also bittersweetly implies that gwaine has accepted that these are the platonic, repressed terms on which he can have a relationship with merlin. but i think the way in which he explicitly points all of this out to merlin is meant to imply that he isn't entirely happy about having to accept that. or, to circle back to eira, that merlin seems to be cheering for him to enter a heterosexual relationship when gwaine would clearly rather be with him.

what's additionally interesting to me about this is that this is one of the only scenes on this show that touch on same gender attraction that isn't using magic as a metaphor - because merlin doesn't have magic at the moment, yes, but also because gwaine is the more active character in this sequence, and he's an adventure hero, so he simply fights the bad guy to protect the person he loves. there is no metaphor to wrap this in, so he just gets to explicitly state his bisexuality. in the next scene, the very last one he and merlin share, it all becomes about magic again, which is both representative of merlin's sexuality and the show's "plausible deniability" approach to gay-coding, and so neither gwaine or merlin are permitted to acknowledge it. also, and this is for another post altogether, but all things point to "gwaine knew". not least because he gets to come out as queer without the complications of the magic-as-gay-metaphor which in turn emboldens him to ask merlin for the truth as directly as the metaphor-suffocated narrative will allow it.

tldr gwaine textually and canonically expresses and then confesses his feelings to merlin in a shockingly well-written and layered scene which makes gwaine the most explicitly queer character on bbc merlin and it's entirely because he exists outside the magic-as-gay-metaphor plot while loving someone who embodies that entire metaphor and it's crazy to me that we don't talk about this more. once again i ask what SICKO wrote this and where were they for the entire rest of this fucking show

tldrtldr at least gwaine is bi. its like i always say. at least gwaine is bi. at the end of the day. gwaine is bi. dont cry ok? gwaine is bi. at the end of the day. gwaine is bi. when all else fails. gwaine is bi. we'll always have. gwaine is bi

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

hate that I have to clarify whenever I think of two characters as having a powerful and purely platonic bond as "just friends". like I have to say that but they are not "just" anything.

did you hear me. I said they are friends. not brothers or siblings or maternal or paternal or any other familially-defined relationship. they are friends!!! do you know how powerful that is??? they! are! friends!!! they are FRIENDS

[velvet-games]

based on a day out I had with my brother that reminded me friendship is real

we went out for lunch and visited a new boba place for dessert; that’s where we found the weird archway carved into the wall that echoed a lot.

I mentioned the spirited away thing because we’d watched it the night before, and the game we were playing (where you try to catch someone’s hand as it karate chops down) reminded me of it lol.

[thesoftestmess]

you give me two characters who are not quite human and are defined by their compassion and softness and then you make them be each other's sole companions for 400 years and make them co-govern a nation together and then you also reveal that they were both more or less the two only puppets in a larger-than-life play against the authority of the literal heavens and neither of them fully understood the role they were playing and then you make one turn against the other and make them watch a part of the other die and all this sacrifice and pain ends up saving a lot of people's lives, but it also ends with them away from each other for the first time in four centuries with a million things unspoken and you expect me not to ship them????

[farsight-the-char]

Pain, but a needed/expected one.

Not the "explosion" i predicated, but still.

Their friendship will be better when they heal.

I have to ask how are the people who ship Ruby and Jaune? Are you all doing okay?

[graceful-not]

Yk what actually. I'm sick of staying quiet Conya is a perfectly fine ship. I don't understand why people dislike it so much. In early Ninjago? Sure, back then it wasn't the greatest dynamic and didn't really have much in terms of actually substantive interactions. But people are still casually hating on it and putting it on DNI lists right next to ships like Greenflame like they're comparable and I'm sickkkk of it it's been YEARS!! Their dynamic has grown so much since then!!!! They're on the same level as Braincell for me in terms of ships I really like I think they have a great and interesting dynamic!!!! They're cute together!!!!!! EVEN OUTSIDE OF MUDSHOCK!!!!! RAGHH!!!!!!!!!

[aroaessidhe]

2024 reads / storygraph

The Loudest Silence

YA contemporary

a newly Deaf-Hard of hearing girl moves across the country and starts a new school, struggling with navigating her disability and love for singing and lost friendships - determined to not make any new friends for the year she’s in Florida

and a boy struggling with family expectations and anxiety, after being made the fútbal captain even though he secretly ways to be on broadway, who quickly befriends her

bi & aroace-coded MCs

[sinhasfluffyheadfur]

happy anniversary to my oldest genshin oc and his two favorite people :)

8.26.2024

[hiraganasakura]

Has anyone else ever considered queerplatonic Jailbirds (Qrow/Robyn) or is that just me??

[suffarustuffaru]

Not meaning to throw any shade at Rem, but I hate how her character ended up being restricted to only loving Subaru. It became her personality and her reason to exist

Meanwhile my man Otto has layers and fun dynamics with everyone WHILE also being codependent and hopelessly in love to Subaru (in my point of view)

I hope that now Tappei will be able to balance Rem's character and give her another personality trait besides her love for Subaru

ok so if anyone else is seeing this, this is referring to a poll i made a few days ago pitting rem and otto against each other bc theyre both the resident codependent subaru devotees and they do parallel/contrast each other a bit 👍

but yeah anon… not to affect the poll results or anything wkdndnd but i agree a lot with you!! i have mixed feelings on rem bc i do love her a lot—im halfway through her and ram’s prequel novel and im enjoying it a lot, and also i liked her the moment i watched season 1 of the anime for the first time. shes an intriguing character with a well written backstory and her own set of flaws and traits. but i think the big thing is her and ottos relationships with subaru, while subaru is first place in both of their hearts and subaru comes first before anyone else at this point, rem and ottos flavors of Dependency are different?

like with rem, i think its the point that her whole being ends up revolving around subaru. not that otto isnt like that either, of course, but otto has Way More of a life outside of subaru. otto has a whole group of people from the emilia camp to marone and his family that he cares about other than subaru, and on top of that, ottos job in the emilia camp is to communicate with others both within and outside of his camp. then theres his dp, which is also dependent and ABOUT communication. when it comes to rem and otto, theres absolutely no competing on this, otto is the one with more of. a Life. not that rem doesnt have other people she cares about and other people she talks with and other people she likes (and also rem was unfortunately Gluttonyed), but the top two closest people in her life were always ram then subaru. otto got lucky with his loving family, bc rems Entire Life has molded her into being dependent on others. shes told by her family that the only reason shes alive is bc ram saved her. ram is the only person who loves her. she envies ram and then she feels so guilty after her village is destroyed and rams horn is gone (especially when rem is initially. kind of Glad that rams horn is gone). so rem places her worth on serving the people she loves—ram and subaru. rem has spent her WHOLE LIFE like this. remsuba as a relationship has its ups and downs but arc 3 rem is, while sweet and well meaning, shes not the healthiest. remsuba isnt the healthiest. and then arc 7-8 comes in and yeah while rems pov of subaru and the whole situation is Understandable from what little she knows, yeah its not the healthiest either (and also i dont forgive her for being mean about natsumi wkfndnd).

not that ottosuba is the Healthiest given they seem like theyre going to become. a bit Toxic in arc 8 if they keep being stubborn, but the big difference is in how otto and rem devote themselves. bc rems problem (in arc 3) is that she enables subaru a little too much. i mean sloth if exists for a reason, she ran away with subaru and RAM AND EVERYONE ELSE DIED. ottos problem is that hes 1. obsessed with opposing subaru and 2. not straightforward with his feelings the way arc 3 rem is. bc at least pre gluttony rem is gonna straightforwardly be like “id do anything for you” and “i love you” etc etc. like yeah ottos like “youre my friend!!” but hes also gonna complain nonstop about subaru to his face and say shit like “ill leave at the first sight of danger!!” RIGHT AFTER RISKING HIS LIFE FOR SUBARU. and also even then arc 8 rems siding with subaru on louis so shes enabling him in that respect too (even though arc 8 rem is different from arc 3 rem of course). ergo, rem is the one who wants to support subaru Unconditionally. even if its not what youd consider the right decision. otto tries to help subaru get what he wants, but if otto doesnt agree he starts getting aggressive. rem makes herself pliable and into a bit of a doormat for subaru, otto starts getting out the pitchforks and tries to control things bc he thinks his way his best for subaru in the end. that, and while subaru does go first in ottos heart, hes STILL loyal to the entire emilia camp as a whole (minus roswaal). thats why he wanted to leave vollachia, he wanted to save the ENTIRE emilia camp.

but like you said anon—while the point is that rem ends up centering her whole life around subaru, i feel that tappei handles otto (who has SIMILAR PLOT BEATS) with far more nuance. like while otto will literally do anything else besides actually say “i love you” or “id do anything for you”, his arc is more straightforward and consistent than rems. again, rem got gluttonyed and a bunch of different stuff have happened with her so of course her arc has been more Dramatic in its changes, but with otto he grows and changes but at the same time he doesnt change At All. his arc 8 self is doing stuff hes been capable of this whole time, vollachia and subaru just bring out his more hidden traits. the narrative is just way more consistent with emphasizing that while otto thinks hes in the right, hes also Wrong in a lot of ways. his mindset rn is Not Healthy and i feel that the narrative shows that more with him than it does rem a lot. like the writing literally goes out of its way to shit on otto a bit for being a little messed up in the head, while you have to read more into rems plot and then some audiences just completely miss the point of her character. that and—yeah, rems reasons are all very understandable, but i feel that tappei romanticizes her a bit too much. all you have to do is look at sloth if bc sloth if seems a Bit too fluffy to me despite the absolute Dark Backdrop. like yeah. subaru rbds back to arc 3 at the end. but i feel like sloth if just sweeps a lot of the dark underbelly under the rug. ottosuba as a dynamic to me just feels more Equal than remsuba does, which is probably a bit strange HAH bc ottosuba as a dynamic is based on Conflict (especially when you remember ottosuba across the ifs too) and their power dynamics in arc 8 are likely going to get crazy at some point.

plus its like—the way the whole louis situation has been handled made me think that tappei wouldnt even bother examining the Problems with louis and subaru + rems relationships with louis, but luckily arc 8 has been getting into that more. so like i dont completely trust tappei with female characters (he has a habit of. fumbling the bag a bit with them sometimes, imo. he gets out such great complex main female characters then he starts messing up with their writing like halfway through). but like you anon, i hope that rem gets far more character development. the poor girl has spent her whole life basing her worth on others….

and well. again, i think the difference in how the writing treats otto vs rem is probably also bc ottos a boy and rems a girl. so of course otto consistently gets a bit more nuance, and of course certain parts of the audience just see rem and think “waifu who would do anything for you” rather than “this is a traumatized girl who means well but has poor boundaries and Codependency Issues”, and some people see otto and think “he doesnt love subaru that much lol” and sweep his own codependency and Issues under the rug. and then you look at the narrative and, like you said anon, otto is allowed to have fun dynamics with everyone while still being Fixated on subaru. rem hasnt had much of a chance in that category yet.

[alchemiclee]

I think doing shipping through and aroace lens makes things complicated but also interesting. I think one reason I don't enjoy straight ships as much is because it's very rare for people write/talk about them with a queerplatonic dynamic. straight romance is so "normalized" in society, it's hard to get any other dynamic out of those ships from other people in conversation or writing. it's mostly always romantic. (especially when "guys and girls can't be *just* friends" is extremely common and has ruined mamy of my own friendships) but I enjoy a handful of a straight ship with that dynamic. it's just way more rare to see talked about than gay ones from my observation. anyway point is, more queerplatonic type ships and stuff please! those aren't explored enough!

[bd-wlf]

I do actually think Alastair Moore was Sherlock’s first gay crush and friend and that's why his death hits harder for him, other than Alastair being a recovering addict like himself

And his death being a heroine overdose, and Sherlock knowing him for a while, and Sherlock-

There are loads of reasons why it hits hard for him I'm just trying to say that he was Sherlock’s first gay crush-his queer awakening if you will lol

I'm not shipping them because Sherlock was a child when he first contacted Alastair and that's crossing a line in my book

[beauzos]

I always think it’s interesting how a lot of people portray romantic relationships— particularly ones where the two were good friends prior— as this absorptive process. Like you ever notice how a lot of the time it feels like characters just get totally absorbed by the relationship that they don’t act like themselves and their dynamic with the person they’re in a relationship is like. Way worse. Like more generic and just utterly indistinguishable from any other generic gooey relationship.

Why do we do that. I don’t get it. I don’t see why romance has to utterly supersede two characters’ friendship. Like they’re still friends yknow. You are (supposed to be, at least) friends with your partner.

And this isn’t even like a fandom thing, published authors do this shit too and I don’t understand why. Does anyone actually enjoy this..?? Do they not miss the characters being their own people and having actual dynamics beyond “romantic relationship”..??