#i originally planned a super long one with all my thoughts in one place

[kedreeva]

Okay so, I don't think I've spoken of the saga here yet but! Gather round. I shall tell you a long story about the bird I just acquired and why she is VERY IMPORTANT.

At the beginning of last fall, I started looking into quail genetics a little more, because I got tired of not being able to sex my Celadon quail by their feathers. Originally I thought I could kill 2 birds (ok maybe more) with 1 stone and order nice jumbo wild type (which MANY places advertised as wild type jumbo) hatching eggs, and this would help me put some size on the Celadons (jumbo) while also making them feather sexable (wild type). Perfect!

But then I come to find out that pretty much all jumbo lines are jumbo BROWNS, as in they all have the sex linked brown (SLB) gene. So, I was a little confused and a LOT annoyed because I wanted to work specifically with the wild type color/pattern. No mutations just straight, plain wild type.

And EVERYWHERE I looked - major production hatcheries, private breeders through websites, Facebook groups, local swaps, craigslist, e v e r y w h e r e -

People ONLY had SLB.

This spring I came across a video showing about the differences between SLB and wild type and I figured if the person who made it can tell, maybe she will have some. So I looked her up (not in a stalker way, her farm name was stamped on the video and took me to the website), and what luck! She was in Michigan! Upper Michigan, so still a hike, but not California, y'know?

So I shot her an email and explained that I was looking for WT and that her site said she bred them and that people could do local pickup. She responded yeah she's totally got a bunch! And I said great, I'm also in Michigan, albeit far away, but I don't mind driving 7+ hours each way, because I really need actual, trusted WT for sure birds for my celadon project, can I come pick them up?

Cue the most frankly bizarre email chain in my short life. As soon as I mentioned that I was going to drive, or perhaps that I had a genetics plan in place, she got super sketchy and started saying how she hadn't really paid as close attention to SLB vs. WT, that it mattered less than she thought it would when she started, that I shouldn't focus on that either, and also that "fawn celadon is practically unheard of" in the hobby and "you should focus on a clean Tibetan because it's hard to find without roux in it) implying that I should concentrate on those things instead. And concluded by telling me if I really want WT, to contact this other person (why happens to be someone I can't stand). It all sounded VERY much like she didn't have wild type males, after all, and had thought I didn't know the difference so it wouldn't actually matter. But, it does. It actually matters a lot to me.

So I messaged back to say, well, I don't want to do any of those things, I specifically want to work with this set of genetics and you said you have them so I shouldn't have to go to anyone else??

And then she went radio silent for a week. I kind of figured I'd called a bluff, and that she was one of dozens of people I'd contacted who'd said they had WT only to find out they had SLB. I get that it's difficult to see the difference, but this particular person was the president of the American Coturnix Breeders Association or whatever (found out it's actually just a club formed by her and her friends a year ago, so not as impressive as it sounds, considering they don't actually DO anything- no putting on shows, no newsletters, no certifications, no public breeder directory, no finished SOP, nada), so I kind of expected she should know what she's talking about, if anyone does.

Eventually, after a week, she responded that she had been judging at a county fair, but she had a few heterozygous males (WT het roux, which is fine) and she could set a hatch for me for more if I wanted to come at the end of the month, but she's in WI now, not MI. I said sure, since where she was in WI was actually closer than where she'd been in the UP, and we arranged date/time.

The day of, my neighbor friend, Jude, comes with me for company/keeping me awake through the 15 hours driving round trip. It's a pleasant enough drive. We arrived at a cutesy little house on the edge of town that looks like anyone's house in a neighborhood, with a spacious lawn. The person meets us and takes me around the side of the house to a 6x6x1.5 or so chicken tractor, where she's got some male coturnix. She pulls the available males for me to look through and... fam, they ALL looked SLB, to me.

Now, she swore to me up and down that they couldn't be anything except WT het for roux, because of the way she is breeding them. But I've put these birds next to my SLB males and if I didn't have my males banded, I would not ever have told the difference between them. I still picked up 4 of them, because I will give it a go- worst case, I can produce plain Roux hens/plain Roux males for use in breeding later, best case they do actually produce WT hens and they just LOOK SLB and I have to figure out what the differences are. I don't want to leave without seeing her hens, which she has told me are all WT (which is why the males HAVE to be het for it), and she takes me back. Now the hens, the hens are easy to see the difference. White bellies first of all, but the chest feathers are also wildly different! The shafts are white, the dot around the shaft is dark, ringed in red, ringed in white. On an SLB, the shafts aren't white, it's just a black dot surrounded in a red feather, and the belly is all red/buff/cream, not white.

This is what an SLB hen looks like:

So I take a nice long look to memorize the color, and thank her for showing me and meeting, and we head back home.

I do fecals when I get home because all of the males are VERY thin, no meat on them at all, and since she said she'd been feeding Purina (garbage for fowl feeds), I figured that was why, but no- HUGE coccidia loads in all of them. So I treated them and got them on a better feed. They immediately began putting on meat, and they're find now.

The rest of this summer, I have spent going to local bird swaps and inspecting all of the quail I could find, hoping to find one (1) actual wild-type phenotype bird. Hundreds and hundreds of birds, I have pawed through them all, being super obnoxious to the owners I'm sure, holding and inspecting males. I found ONE suspected WT male (and this is a HUGE "suspected," he could very well be SLB with low red expression). I compared him when I got home and I'm doubting myself still, so I don't know if I will ever actually pair him with the SLB hens or if I'll just wait til I have a roux set.

Regardless, it's been a dry season for getting what I want. It's been a dry YEAR. Yesterday was another swap and more hundreds of quail and me pawing through all of them.

Until.

My eyes landed upon.... her.

If you've only lived in an area that has american crows and not ravens, you find yourself wondering if crows are ravens. You see a big crow and you think wow! maybe that is a raven! It could be a crow, but it's seems bigger so maybe it's a raven. But, if you take a trip to a place with ravens, and you see one for the first time, you realize that there is no question, when you see a raven. When you see a raven in person, there's no question and not only is there no question, you wonder how you could ever have thought a crow was a raven. It's laughable, while looking at the raven.

That's how finding this bird felt. I'd been picking up every SLB hen and going maybe this is actually WT? It could be SLB but maybe it's WT? But the second I laid eyes on her in the middle of a pack of SLB with some mixed colors, I knew I was looking at WT hen, and I can't imagine how I ever thought maybe an SLB hen was WT.

Here's a better photo of her chest and belly (she's beat UP from her previous home, the back of her head and most of her rump are plucked clean from males). You can see the white shafts and the white belly.

And some other pics of her, showing the grey-brown on her side and back- VERY different than the SLB hens

I can't express how stoked I am about this bird. This is the first time after a LOT of effort and time, that I have felt confident I am holding the bird I want.

She's also the indicator that I have a LOT of work ahead of me.

My end goal is to have birds that look like her, weigh 12-14oz, and lay large, blue eggs. I have birds that lay large, blue eggs, I have birds that weigh 12-14oz live weigh, and now I have at least 1 bird that looks like her, which means I can make more that look like her. The first step is cleaning the color mutations out of the celadon line without losing the celadon eggs. This is going to be a bit of a nightmare, BUT, I have a friend helping me out with getting a few celadons that are either WT or SLB (I'm guessing SLB all things considered) to start the work with. I will work over the winter to get a few more actual WT birds here, and to start crossing out the celadons with the SLB jumbos to clean out the other feather color mutations. Once I'm down to just SLB and celadon for mutations, I can clean the SLB out with the WT and roux lines.

This project will likely take me a good 2 years, maybe 3, to complete and then test breed to ensure I haven't lost the celadon gene and I don't have any hidden recessives lingering about. But just having the fucking materials to do it all on hand now is a huge step forward from where I was when I decided to start the project.

[torialefay]

You Know Whose You Are 👀

hyunjin x gn!reader smut

✨ friends to lovers trope 🔞

✨ request: "Hi!! For your smut prompts can I pls request Hyunjin & 24 (Hyunjin being the jealous one)? Maybe enemies to lovers or friends to lovers scenario? And for the actual p-in-v part can he fck reader holding her up against the wall (like her back against the wall and legs around his waist position)? Sorry if this is a lot, I’m on my period and I’m having many specific thoughts lmao. Thank you!! 🥰🤍" -anon

✨ word count: ~3.5k

✨ warnings: porn with a plot; minors dni!

• you and hyunjin had become close friends quite a while ago.

• he quickly became one of your closest friends after you'd met him in a bookstore after first arriving to korea.

• while keeping your eyes fixated on the rows of books next to you, you accidentally ran straight into his chest.

• after quickly apologizing to him, you both struck up a conversation about your favorite books & authors. you had no clue who he was, and he liked that about you.

• a real friend.

• since that day, you'd messaged back and forth a lot, hung out almost on a routine basis, and made lots of fun memories.

• after a while, you eventually found out he was an idol (it was bound to happen with his weird "work schedule" he always had), but it didn't matter. he was the same hyunjinnie that you'd built a solid friendship with over the past few weeks.

• but that was the problem- you didn't want it to be just a friendship.

• and who could blame you? hyunjin was the most amazing, kind, intelligent person you'd ever met. you had more in common with him than even your very best friend. it was only natural to develop those feelings for him.

• but you knew the feelings weren't reciprocated.

• he'd never made so much as a subtle hint that he was interested in you as more than a friend... and let's be honest, he was basically the most wanted guy in all of korea. how could you compete with all these other beautiful people?

• so you didn't even let your mind wander to that extreme. you accepted the fact that he'd be nothing more than a friend to you, no matter how much you knew it could have worked out.

• "my best friend", you'd learned to teasingly call him. and soon, even you started to believe it. only that.

• one day, you'd gone over to hyunjin's apartment. he mentioned that he wanted to repaint the walls in the living room, so you offered up some of your free time to help him out.

• it wasn't super often that you came to his apartment. only a couple of times. you'd usually only gone out to do things together like go to a new art gallery or to grab coffee and talk about life. cutesy little things.

• you weren't the most familiar with his apartment, but that didn't matter much as you quickly settled in. you placed your phone in the kitchen to blare music, then headed to the living room to help coat the walls with a fresh set of paint.

• it did take a bit longer than you thought, but you didn't mind. when you and hyunjin were together, you always had fun, taking little jabs at each other and laughing to funny stories you had. the time always seemed to melt away.

• after a couple of hours, your playlist turned off. you guessed it had run out of songs.

• "jinnie, could you get a new playlist going on my phone?" you held your hands up, covered in paint. "i think it'd take me a while to do it."

• he laughed, realizing how messy you were compared to him.

• he didn't need to say anything, just got up and walked over to the kitchen, which was only a few steps away.

• as he went to tap the screen, a notification popped up... from one of hyunjin's life-long friends.

• the two of you had met a week or so ago when hyunjin invited him to go to a poetry reading with the two of you. his friend, ha-joon, wasn't necessarily as into the activity as the two of you were, but hyunjin felt bad canceling his original plans with him when he'd found out the event was happening and really wanted to go.

• and now... he was texting you?

• he read the message as it splayed across the screen:

Ha-Joon: Excited to see you tomorrow :) What are you doing?

• it's not that you were very enamored by ha-joon when you first met, but he seemed like a nice enough guy. plus he was friends with jinnie, so you figured he couldn't be too bad. when he messaged to ask if you'd be interested in going out with him, you thought you'd give it a shot. it's not like you had any other romantic prospects.

• "what's your password? i'll flip to a different playlist," hyunjin raised his voice, trying to act non-chalant. he silently thanked the fact that he was just out of sight.

• "2-7-4-4-1-2" you said back to him.

• he quickly scrolled through the playlists and chose one, letting the music blast through the speaker once again.

• "i'm gonna get a drink, do you want one?" hyunjin lied, going to open up the messages on your phone.

• "yeah, i'll take a water if that's okay?"

• "sure, i'll get it in just a sec." he started to sound nervous as he clicked to ha-joon's name on your phone. dang, texts going back to the beginning of the week. he quickly scrolled through to find quite a few message exchanged between the two of you. he scrolled back to the conversation that started last night.

Ha-joon: This might be a little bold, but I'd really like to get to know you more. Not just through texting. Would you want to grab a coffee sometime? Just you and me?

Sure! That'd be really fun :)

Ha-joon: Are you free sometime tomorrow?

I'm not really sure yet. I'm going to help Hyunjin paint. How about we just plan for the next day?

Ha-joon: Sounds good to me!

Ha-joon: Hyunjin will be okay with this, right? With us meeting up?

I don't see why not. He'd probably be happy about introducing us!

Ha-joon: Okay, I just didn't know if I should let him know or not is all.

Ahh that's okay. I don't think we need to rope him into any of this unless things go well between us ☺️

Good plan. I'm excited to see you!

Same here :) Text me tomorrow and let me know where you want to meet up.

Will do! Sleep well 😊

• hyunjin felt his heart break. he knew he had no right to. but he couldn't help it.

• of course he harbored feelings for you. how could he not fall for the one girl he ever felt like truly "got" him?

• but he hadn't wanted to tell you. not yet. he didn't want you to think that was the only reason he kept hanging out with you. he genuinely LOVED being around you. he was himself when he was with you. and he was so scared he'd lose that if he told you.

• but he hadn't said anything. so he couldn't be upset.

• he mentally kicked himself for introducing you to ha-joon.

• he thought on it for a bit as he reached into the fridge to grab a bottle of water for you. he quickly exited out of the app as he rested your phone back on the table to play the music.

• the upbeat tunes coming out completely mismatched what he was feeling in the moment.

• he stood for a moment, then walked back to the living room, where he saw you sitting cutely on the floor, knees bent criss-crossed as you painted the bottom of the wall carefully.

• suddenly, he started to think about how lucky he felt with this sight in front of him. and how he didn't want another man to be able to see you like this: hair tied up, sitting contently on the floor, completely covered in paint, looking so happy just to be there while bopping your head to the beat without a worry in the world.

• he wanted that. he wanted you. and suddenly, he saw red.

• he leaned against the door frame, now subconsciously squeezing the bottle of water in his hand.

• "y/n, can you come over here for a minute?" he said, voice now full of authority. his face looked annoyed, as he looked off, not able to focus his eyes on you.

• you looked at him confused for a moment, then carefully stood up, walking over to him wondering what was wrong all of a sudden.

• "what is it?" you asked, looking up at him innocently. you could tell something had him deeply bothered.

• his jaw clicked for a moment before he finally looked at you.

• "why didn't you tell me you were going out with my best friend?"

• the question caught you off guard.

• "were you going through my phone?" you asked. you didn't mean to sound accusatory, but that's how it came out.

• "i didn't mean to, but there it was." he looked down at you, not backing down.

• "i mean, yeah, he invited me to get coffee... is it a big deal? i thought you'd be happy if maybe we started seeing each other."

• "well, i'm not."

• "look jinnie, i'm sorry. maybe i should have told you, but i didn't think you'd care. surely he's a good person if he's your friend. and i'd like to think i'm a good person, so it just-" suddenly, he cut you off.

• "it's not about being a good person, y/n!" he began to raise his voice. "what about me?!"

• "what about you?" you asked, voice full of confusion.

• "i like you, goddamn it! give me a chance, not him!" he was full on yelling now, pressing himself up against you. suddenly, you felt small, but so fucking smitten at the same time. hyunjin actually liked you? this whole time?

• your head started spinning. it was just... it was a lot. you began to slowly move back from him a bit.

• "jinnie... i don't... i don't know what to say."

• he followed your path, pushing his body forward toward yours. you were about to be trapped in against the freshly painted wall behind you. you had no where else to go without ruining the wall.

• "say you'll let me take you out. not him." his eyes were trying to tell you something, but you couldn't quite pinpoint what. you'd never seen him like this.

• "i can't just do that to him... i mean he's your friend and i don't want to make things weird and i didn't know you even thought about me-" you were just rambling at this point before hyunjin cut you off.

• "i don't give a fuck if he's my friend. i wanted you first." he pushed his body right against yours, your front feeling him completely. he aligned his face perfectly in front of yours.

• "for how long?" you asked meekly.

• "since i first saw you." he let his eyes wander down to look at your lips before coming back up to focus on your eyes.

• being so close to you, he lightly closed his eyes, letting his lips linger next to you. "give me a chance first. if you don't like it, you can go to him... but i want you more than he does. i promise you that."

• goose bumps popped up along your skin. you couldn't believe he was actually into you. it was actually such a shock, you almost didn't even let your mind think on it. you'd wanted it so bad and suppressed it for so long. you didn't even know what to think. so you remained quiet, just pondering on what you could say.

• "let me show you," he whispered into your ear, getting too impatient to wait for your response. "let me show you how good i could be to you."

• again, you couldn't muster up words. you were so shell-shocked, you didn't even know where to start.

• he leaned into your ear, his breath hot over top of you.

• seductively, he whispered into you, "just tell me to stop," before planting a slow kiss to the side of your neck, at the sensitive spot right below your ear.

• you let out a slight moan at the unexpected sensation. you felt the hairs on your body start to stand up.

• hyunjin smiled and moved his small kisses along your jaw and cheek, then planting straught onto your lips.

• he wasted no time in deepening the kiss, running his hands through your hair until he was holding the back of your head in one hand and squeezing your jaw with the other. he wanted full control of you.

• he moaned as you slipped your tongue into his mouth, giving him access to enter inside your mouth too.

• as you smiled into him, he walked you back until you were pressed up against the wet wall. to hell with it.

• you continued grappling at each other, shoving tongues down throats like horny teenagers. you couldn't help it. this was all you'r ever wanted.

• until you started feeling hyunjin slightly buck his hips into yours. you felt his bulge grind the tiniest bit against you, turning you on with the gentlest touch.

• he let out a small chuckle as you moaned at the sensation.

• he kept sucking on your tongue, harder and harder as he more fervently grinded himself into you. you could feel him getting rock hard against you. and fuck did it feel so good. you couldn't help but pant, and run your hands along his body, desperate to grapple onto whatever you could.

• you pulled on his collar, pushed your hand up his shirt to run along his abdomen, tugged on his waist band- anything and everything you could cling to in order to feel closer to him.

• and he reciprocated fully. he moved his hand around your jaw to secure your face down against the wall, pinning you back hard. his mouth never disconnected from yours as he used his other hand to run along your body. down your neck, around your boobs, down your stomach, down to wear he ground against you, hoping to make brief contact with you before taking his hand around your waist to grab your ass.

• you moaned loudly as he shoved his tongue deep into your mouth and grabbed a handful of your ass with a harsh squeeze. the slight pain felt too fucking good to not yell out about.

• your noises only agged him on more.

• he pulled his mouth off of yours for a split moment.

• "let me take these off?" he asked hungrily, pulling at the top of your leggings.

• you didn't have to respond, you quickly yanked the fabric down, along with your underwear and ripped them from your feet and to the side.

• he smiled down at the sight, loving how willing you were to give into him.

• he connected his mouth back to yours as he followed suit and hastily unbuttoned and slid down his pants and boxers.

• when he was done, he grunted as he felt himself now unclothed, finally getting some friction against you.

• you couldn't contain yourself as you heard him grunt for you. you quickly pulled your hand up to your mouth, spitting into it quickly before bringing it back down to stroke hyunjin's cock.

• "ah fuck," he let out, letting himself grow harder and harder. this was the hardest he'd ever been.

• a wave of aggression came over him as he started to feel territorial. he brought a hand around your neck to give it a tight squeeze.

• "faster," he instructed. he reached his hand down to toy with you too, slowly working up pace.

• you felt yourself becoming more deprived of oxygen as you pumped your hand along him, going down to his tip. when he wasn't satisfied, he rested his forehead on yours and began thrusting his cock into your hand, throwing out grunts as he went. he kept working at your hole until you were lightheaded and writhing underneath him.

• he smiled and let out a little laugh as he released the pressure from your neck to let you gasp for air. you felt light-headed and needed to come back down. but hyunjin didn't let up.

• "let me fuck you." it was more of a demand than a question, but you didn't fight it. you slowly nodded from underneath him.

• he swiftly rand both hands down to your waist and then around your ass until they were resting behind your thighs.

• "jump," he instructed.

• you weren't sure about this. you'd never done it before. you were scared you'd fall and ruin the moment, but you decided to just put your trust into it. pushing your back against the wall, you threw your legs up as he guided them and secured them in place around his hips. he made sure to support the rest of you by keeping your back pressed tight to the wall.

• he used one hand to guide his dick to your entrance before steadily thrusting himself inside. it took your breath away at the sudden stretch and feeling of him inside of you. he didn't give you very much time to settle into it though as he started to fuck into you. hard and steady.

• his hand came back up to support under your thighs, securing you on top of him and pushing you back so your head was almost slamming into the wall as he pounded into you.

• you felt so good around him. so tight. squeezing onto him for dear life.

• he hungrily brought his mouth to your next as he sent fast, angry strokes into your. he guided his tongue around, planting sloppy kisses and fast, violent bites that made you scream out. he fucking loved it. he wanted to hear you scream. make you forget about any other man.

• "that's right baby, scream for me. you know whose you are," he growled. he was fucking you so hard you thought you'd pass out from the overstimulation of it all.

• you kept moaning for him, not knowing how to do anything else.

• before too long, you felt yourself start to pant harder, feeling hyunjin hit just the right spot. you started to grow warm inside, getting your breath taken away with each pounding.

• "jinnie," you breathed out, finally opening your eyes to see him with his eyes hyper focused on you, like he was ready to attack at any moment.

• you could only breathe heavily before repeating his name again. "jinnie, i'm gonna cum." you felt yourself reach a breaking point. it was coming. now.

• "that's fucking right. you're gonna cum for me right now... it's just me from now on. only me." he growled, fucking himself into you faster. "cum on me right fucking now!" he ordered, ramming into just the right spot to send you over the edge.

• you gasped as you threw your head back, beginning to spasm around his cock.

• "ahhh fuckkkkk, just like that," hyunjin mimicked you, throwing his head back now too. "fuck, fuck, fuck," he breathed out, slamming into you faster than ever.

• "ughhhhhhhhh," he yelled as you felt him release inside of you. you could feel yourself still shaking around him, not being given any sort of break.

• as he finished out his high, you wiped at the few tears that had built up in your eyes from the overstimulation.

• once hyunjin was done, he slowly lowered your legs off of his hips and set them back down on the floor, keeping his cock resting inside of you as he put you down.

• with you both now panting and trying to settle down, he just brought both hands up to cradle the sides of your face. he pushed himself a bit deeper inside of you, just enjoying the feeling of resting within you.

• he smiled down as he planted a soft kiss to your forehead.

• you smiled back up at him, placing your hands on his chest over his heart.

• "i think this is how we're meant to be," hyunjin said in a low voice.

• "i think so too," you grinned.

• he kept planting tiny kisses onto the same spot of your forehead. "tell me you aren't still going with him tomorrow."

• "of course not. i know whose i am." you gave him a quick wink.

-------------------------------------

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✨ head over to my masterlist for more!

[worth-the-chaos]

Adventures In Babysitting - Steve Harrington x female!reader - Chapter 1

Chapter Summary: You haven’t been babysitting Dustin for very long. Underestimating his tendencies for rebellious behavior, you realize too late that he’s snuck out, with your dire search for the boy leading you to the last place you wanted to be: Steve Harrington’s house.

Content warning: swearing, inter-dimensional demogorgon bullshit, kind of strangers to friends to lovers (not necessarily all in this chapter), stancy, slow burn

Word Count: 6.5k

Author’s note: This is my first fic and it isn’t super original; it pretty much sticks to the plot of the show, but adds you to the mix! I tend to like fics that put the reader directly into the Stranger Things universe, demogorgons and all, so this chapter roughly follows Steve’s involvement in season 1 episode 8 when he goes to the Byers’ residence. This is more of a prologue and I plan to be more original with the story as it goes on, but it will still largely follow the plot lines of the series, so if that’s something you’re looking for, you’ve found it here!

Series Masterlist | Next Part

***

You knocked quickly on the door in front of you, eyes darting left and right to take in your surroundings. You were out of place here among the upper class houses in the neighborhood, with your hand-me-down and thrifted clothes screaming the opposite of prosperity. You were antsy, weight shifting from foot to foot; in fact, you were almost confident that if any of the neighbors were out and caught a glimpse of your obviously anxious form, they’d put a call in to the Hawkins police in an instant. You didn’t belong here. You scoffed at the thought. Though every fiber of your being was telling you—no, screaming at you—to leave, you really didn’t have a choice.

Not to mention the address you were at housed probably the last person you would ever actively seek out. He probably didn’t want to see you either, if you were being honest.

“Come on. Just answer,” You muttered through gritted teeth as you raised your hand to knock once more. However, before your hand could even make contact with the nice, expensive oak of the front door, it opened and you were met with the annoyed and confused glare of the one and only Steve Harrington. The expression on his face didn’t surprise you but the state of it did. Bruises and cuts littered his otherwise perfect skin, leaving you with a lot more questions than you had originally intended on asking.

“What do you want?” His words were direct, his tone short and clipped, drained from what on the outside seemed to be quite an eventful day.

“I-I, uh…I’m sorry, but what happened to you?” You breathed out. You had more pressing concerns, but you couldn’t help but wonder why King Steve of Hawkins High looked like absolute shit.

“I don’t have time for this,” he sighed as he began to shut the door.

You reached your hand through just in time to catch it as you shoved your way into the Harrington household. You knew his parents were likely on some sort of fancy business trip, so they wouldn’t be there to reprimand you for your actions. It’s what made Steve’s house the prime destination for the biggest parties in Hawkins. Parties you were rarely, if ever, invited to.

“What the hell are you doing?! I barely even know you and now you’re breaking and fucking entering into my goddamn house!”

“Technically, I’m just entering. You opened the door.”

“Are you kidding me right now, y/n?”

You were surprised he even knew your name. You tended to blend into the background, flying under the radar in your attempt to make good enough grades to maybe, just maybe, give yourself a fighting chance at attending college on scholarships. “Will you just hear me out. Please.”

You must have sounded desperate because Steve’s furrowed brow relaxed, his expression softening before he rolled his eyes, sitting down on a pristine white couch saying, “Fine. But make it quick because I have a raging headache and my patience is wearing thin.”

You breathed in a deep breath before you rattled off your reason for trespassing.

“Well, it’s kind of a long story, but I happen to babysit Dustin Henderson—or, well to be more accurate, I just started babysitting Dustin Henderson since Jonathon Byers’ brother disappeared—and everything was going fine one minute, but then I went to check on him in his room because he was being awfully quiet, and then I noticed his window was open and he must’ve snuck out, and—“

He cut you off, “Woah, woah, woah. How does any of this concern me? I mean, it’s not my fault you’re clearly a shit babysitter and can’t keep track of some seventh grader.”

“If you would just let me finish,” you warned through gritted teeth, “I’m aware of the fact that it doesn’t concern you, but I’ve been looking all over for him and I can’t find him anywhere. I’ve checked the Sinclair’s, I’ve checked the Wheeler’s, I’ve checked every location a seventh grade nerd might frequent, nothing. So, yeah, though it doesn’t concern you, I thought I might find Nancy here, given the fact that the two of you have obviously been going out, to ask her where the hell her brother is so that maybe, just maybe, I could find the damn kid I’m babysitting before I get fired from my fucking job. Now, if you could stop being so goddamn selfish for once in your life, I would really appreciate the help.”

Steve paused for a moment while he considered this. Being called selfish stung, but you weren’t wrong. The events leading to the myriad of injuries across his face seemed to prove just that. However, there was something about you in particular saying it that cut deep. You were seemingly so perfect, granted a bit odd. You were nice, you made good grades, but other than that he didn’t know much about you, so the expletive-laced explanation was a bit out of place coming from your mouth.

“I hate to break it to you, but you’re a little too late to find Nancy here.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, she didn’t say it, but I take it things are probably pretty over between us.”

This was surprising to say the least. Nancy Wheeler wasn’t someone who you would have guessed would go for a total asshole jock like Steve, but even you had to admit, he was easy on the eyes. Your heart skipped a bit at the thought, as you suddenly also remembered that you basically broke into the house of the most popular kid at your high school. One whom you’d never really spoken to in any meaningful sense before this very instant.

“What happened?” You asked hesitantly, taking a step towards Steve as your fingers hovered over his forearm. Even though you hated nearly everything Steve stood for—popularity, prosperity, assholery—you felt compelled to comfort him. Something about him was different than you expected. When he didn’t pull away, you let your hand rest there.

“Well, speaking of Jonathan Byers, we kind of got into…an altercation. I would like to say that I won, but I think it’s clear that I didn’t. I was with Tommy H and Carol and he spray painted a bunch of awful shit about Nancy and Jonathan all over town, and I didn’t stop him, so yeah, things aren’t what I would call good between me and Nancy right now.”

Your comforting instinct told you to apologize, sympathize, but you weren’t going to condone his actions. You’d seen the “Nancy ‘the Slut’ Wheeler” graffiti earlier in your mad dash to locate Dustin. Though you didn’t know her super well, Nancy had been nothing but nice to you and she definitely didn’t deserve that sort of treatment.

“Well, how do you…feel about it?” You asked gently, internally cringing at your anxiety forcing you to find something to fill the silence with.

“I mean, definitely not good. I was an ass, and I know it, and as much as I hate that I screwed things up with Nancy, I think I’m more so realizing how shitty I was to Jonathan. I mean, he’s got enough going on without me making things more difficult…I need to make things right.” He stood up abruptly, quickly grabbing his car keys from a likely expensive decorative dish on the side table by the door.

“Woah, wait! You’re just going to leave me?” You asked incredulously. “Steve, I-I….I need help.”

“You can come with me,” he responded as he spun his keys around his index finger.

“What?”

“To the Byers’ house? You know, kill two birds with one stone? I apologize to Jonathan, you ask about the Henderson kid. Hell, you might even luck out and find him there, so what do you say?” He explained as he placed his hand gently on your back, leading you out the front door, down the driveway to his car. You tried not to think about the way his hand felt on the expanse of your back. Before you could say no, he was opening the passenger’s side door for you.

Your eyes met his, your mouth slightly parted as you weighed your options. Sure, you could handle yourself fine on the way to Jonathan’s house…but then on the other hand, Steve had a car and you didn’t, and with all of the weird things going on in Hawkins recently, it was probably best not to be a young woman walking around on her own, especially now that you were losing light. Safety reasons aside, the element that settled the internal argument for you was the look in Steve’s eyes. He wanted to do better. He wanted to be better. Who were you to deny him that?

You breathed in once more, shaking your head as you breathed out. “Alright. Let’s go.”

***

Being in Steve’s car was, needless to say, a bit awkward. You both had your own problems, brought together by chaos and regret, a combination which didn’t make for great small talk.

“So, Nancy Wheeler, huh?” You asked in an attempt to ease the tension, needing to rid the car of the weight of the uncomfortable silence.

“Yep,” Steve muttered, eyes focused on the road.

“She’s pretty cool. I mean, she’s always been nice to me.”

“She’s the best.”

You weren’t sure why, but this comment made your heart sink a little in your chest. Though Nancy had always been nice, you couldn’t help but feel a bit jealous of her. She stood out in a way that you never could. She was smart but had the money to back it up, which, in terms of social status, meant that she mattered and you didn’t. You were living paycheck to paycheck, barely functioning, picking up odd jobs all the time just to support yourself in the way your family couldn’t. You barely had the time to study or have fun, becoming the background character to everyone else’s life. Hell, you weren’t even sure you had a starring role in your own. She was also pretty in a way that you could never be, with her big blue eyes and thin frame making clearly even the douchiest of douchebags swoon. Steve was living proof.

“Y/n? Did you even hear anything I just said?” Steve’s voice finally flooded your consciousness, drawing you away from your thoughts and feelings of inadequacy.

You shook your head trying to clear out the negativity. “Sorry! I was-I just zoned out for a second, my bad,” You chuckled, your smile not quite reaching your eyes.

“I asked you why you were babysitting the Henderson kid anyway. It just seems like something that you wouldn’t be interested in.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I mean, I don’t know, you’re…different. Yeah, you’re nice and make good grades and whatever, but you’re also pretty edgy. You seem like one of those weird, alt kids that would be into like pretty heavy music and shit, and babysitting just seems a little too suburban-status-quo for someone like you.”

You stared at him blankly, not really sure how to answer given that his words were more a statement of assumptions rather than a question. You opened your mouth to speak, but he interjected before you could even say anything.

“That came out wrong. What I’m saying is that you’ve always struck me as a little bit intimidating because you’re actually an individual; you don’t follow the crowd which, I mean, is admirable, but babysitting? Come on. I’m as stereotypical as they come, and I wouldn’t even babysit, especially not for some thirteen-year-old misfit who seems like more of a handful than its worth.”

“Well, for starters, you’re a guy, so no shit you’re not babysitting the youth of Hawkins, and also, I just need the money, which I’m sure is a foreign concept to you. And babysitting is kind of a piece of cake…normally. Henderson is a special case; he’s too smart for his own good.”

Steve laughed and you blushed, grateful for the darkness to hide the heat in your cheeks. His words felt like they were trying to be a compliment, but you weren’t sure how to interpret them. You guessed that maybe you stood out at least a little bit more than you had initially thought. By his description, people must be noticing you to some extent. He was noticing you.

You shook your head at the thought. What had gotten into you? Half an hour ago you hated this man, but now you weren’t too sure. Maybe he wasn’t as bad as you thought he was.

With Hawkins being a small town in rural Indiana, the drive was not long, so your conversation ended here as you pulled up to the Byers’ residence. You felt a pang in your heart as you saw the tarp-covered hole in the front of the house. From speaking with Mrs. Henderson, you knew how much of a toll her son’s disappearance had taken on Joyce. Both of you got out of the car and you made your way to the front door.

Steve knocked. When there was no response, he banged on the door again. “Jonathan! Are you there man? It’s—it’s Steve! Listen, I just want to talk.”

He continued to bang on the door. You were about to reach up and stop him, tell him that it was enough and clearly no one was home, when the door opened a crack and you were met eye to eye with Nancy Wheeler. Her eyes widened in surprise when she saw you, but it only lasted for a fraction of a second before her expression settled and her brows furrowed.

“Steve, listen to me.”

“Hey. Nancy, what—“

“You need to leave. Both of you,” she added as she turned to meet your eyes. She was serious, her expression stern, but there was something else there…desperation maybe?

“I’m not trying to start anything, okay?” Steve pleaded. It didn’t make a difference, as Nancy had clearly made up her mind.

“I don’t care about that. You need to leave. Now.”

“No, no, listen, I messed up…I messed up, and I just want to make things right.” Steve was desperate, you could hear it in his voice. You wanted to try and reason with Nancy, speak on behalf of Steve, but it wasn’t your place. You went to cast your gaze downwards, trying to give the two of them a private moment, but Nancy’s gauze-wrapped hand caught your eye instead.

“Hey, what happened to your hand?” You asked hesitantly, brow furrowed, “is that…is that blood?”

You went to gently reach for her hand but she quickly drew it back and out of sight, but it was too late. Say what you will about Steve, but he was protective to a fault, and in seeing Nancy hurt, any desire to make things right with Jonathan quickly dissipated.

“It’s nothing! It-It was an accident.”

“Wait a sec. Did he do this to you? Nancy, let me in!” Steve demanded as he pushed into the Byers’ home, not dissimilar to how you had intruded upon the Harrington residence earlier. You entered behind him. Under any normal circumstances, you probably would have felt awkward, but instead you were too preoccupied with Steve’s short temper and the fires you knew you would inevitably have to put out.

Unfortunately, you didn’t have the premonition to know the literal nature of that preoccupation.

Crossing the threshold of the Byers’ residence, you weren’t entirely sure what you were looking at, but it did make your heart stop in your chest. You momentarily locked eyes with Jonathan as you looked around the room. There were multicolored lights strewn about the whole house, makeshift weapons on the coffee table, the entire alphabet painted sloppily on the wallpaper, and Jonathan’s hand had the same blood soaked gauze as Nancy’s.

“What is…what the…what is all of this?” Steve demanded.

“You need to get out of here. I’m not asking you, I’m telling you.” Jonathan grabbed the fabric of Steve’s shirt attempting to force him out of the living room, but Steve planted his feet.

“Is that….is that gasoline?!” You stammered as the rest of your senses finally showed up. Your hands were trembling at your sides, and you felt like at any moment you might have a panic attack. You took a shaky breath as you attempted to calm yourself down.

“Steve! Get out!” Nancy shouted. The distinct click of a gun rang out, and Steve froze, eyes fixed on the revolver in Nancy’s hand, pointed directly at him. Jonathan’s grip loosened on Steve’s shirt as he stepped away, shock registering on his face as well.

Something was obviously very wrong. You pushed your anxiety deep down in your chest, and you took a step forward. If I could just talk to her, you thought, I can deescalate this.

“Nancy—“ you began cautiously, but as soon as you took a step she pivoted and now you were the one staring down the barrel of a gun. Your breath hitched in your throat as you slowly raised trembling hands in front of your chest. “I think you need to calm down.”

“I think you need to leave,” she responded, her voice icy. Suddenly, Steve bounded forward, grabbing your wrist and pulling you behind him. Once you were hidden behind his tall figure, you allowed yourself to break down a little, pressing yourself against him for some semblance of security.

“Is this a joke, Nancy? Put the gun down!”

“I’m doing this for you.”

“What is this?! What does that even mean?” He yelled back at her, but his words weren’t doing anything to help. His hand was still wrapped around your wrist, and his grip tightened. He was holding onto you just as much as you were holding onto him, with a fistful of his shirt balled into your delicate hand as you attempted to ground yourself. It felt intimate, and if it weren’t for your current predicament, you would have been embarrassed.

“Three. Two—“

“Nancy! The lights!” Jonathan shouted, and you peeled your face away from the solace of Steve’s back, watching as the lights flickered with a raging entropy, making it nearly impossible for your eyes to navigate the small room.

“Where is it? I don’t see it!” Nancy cried out and for the first time in the craze of blinking lights and shouting, you saw the fear on her face, her previous stoic facade shattering in the chaos. Seeing the fright in her eyes made your stomach drop, as the reality of the situation began to sink in.

Something was very, very wrong.

“Will someone please explain to me what the hell is going on?!” Steve shouted and you couldn’t help but agree with the sentiment. Even with the family room being sporadically lit up like a Christmas tree, you and Steve were very much still in the dark.

No sooner had he said it did the ceiling begin to crack, something large writhing as it made its way into the small house from above. Nancy began shooting at it as you stood frozen. Finally, it burst through the drywall, falling to the floor on all fours. If someone asked you to describe what you had seen, you weren’t sure what you would’ve even said. It had pale skin, nearly translucent, and made an awful chattering sound as it started to gather its bearings.

“Go! Go! Run! Go!” Jonathan started shouting as he grabbed Nancy around the waist and shoved her in front of him as she darted down the hall. Steve turned around and did the same, his hands harshly grabbing at your sides to redirect you as you formed a human chain; Jonathan’s hand wrapped around your wrist, and your other hand wrapped around Steve’s as you made a mad dash to the bedroom at the end of the hall.

In all the commotion you barely heard Jonathan shout “jump!” narrowly missing the open bear trap on the floor. You shrieked and willed yourself to be coordinated for once in your damn life as you hurdled over the metal teeth of the trap, blindly trusting that Steve’s athleticism would kick in and he would do the same. A low growl sounded out just as the bedroom door slammed shut behind Steve, his momentum causing him to collide into you. You would have toppled over if it wasn’t for his quick reflexes, as he reached out to steady your shoulders.

“Shhh, you’re okay. It’s all going to be okay,” Steve frantically whispered, his hands still holding together your shaking form, as you stumbled backwards and collapsed down on the bed. His lips were dangerously close to your ear, and he brought a hand to the base of your neck, drawing his fingers down to your shoulder to reassure you. He was barely holding it together himself, scared out of his mind, but he brought you into this mess and he was determined to protect you first. “What the hell was that?!”

“Shut up!” Nancy and Jonathan yelled in unison. Everyone’s gaze then fixed on the yoyo that was precariously draped over the chair. Your heart thundered in your ears, your eyes welling with tears as you held your breath and waited. The lights continued to flicker, until a jolt of electricity rang out and they became static. The silence was unnerving.

“Do you hear anything?” Nancy asked.

Jonathan shook his head and slowly opened the door. The four of you stepped into the quiet of the hallway, eyes fixed on the undisturbed bear trap in the middle of the carpet. You all cautiously made your way back to the disheveled family room of the Byers’ house, Nancy and Jonathan prepped with their weapons in hand.

“This is…this—this is crazy!” Steve shouted, running his hands through his perfect hair.

You tugged on his sleeve trying to draw his attention away from what just happened; this was already a shit show, the last thing you needed was Steve losing his mind. “Steve, you need to calm down,” you begged, still shaken from before.

“Y/n, how the hell am I supposed to calm down?! This isn’t a situation where you can calm the fuck down! What the hell is going on?!” He continued to shout, grabbing your wrist and shoving it away. You tried not to take it personally, but it still hurt. You hated how quickly he had gone from comforting to cold.

Before you could open your mouth to speak, Nancy spoke up, “It’s going to come back! So you need to leave. Right now.”

Steve grabbed your wrist, your body lurching as your trajectory quickly changed, the inertia causing you to stumble while your feet attempted to keep up with Steve’s large strides. Steve fumbled with his keys as you reached the car. His shaky hands finally unlocked the door and he swung it open, about to sit when he realized that you had stopped following him, still positioned in front of the house.

“Y/n, what are you doing?”

“Steve, we can’t leave, are you kidding me? They’re in way over their heads. They need help.”

“It’s too dangerous. I don’t want you in there. It’s not up for discussion,” Steve argued, stepping around the door and reaching out to grab your wrist again. You quickly stepped back, pulling your hands out of his reach.

“Y/n, you’re not going back in there. I’m not joking.”

“Neither am I,” you shot back, turning back towards the door. You heard him call out your name again, but you were already through the front door, back in the discomfort of the Byers’ family room.

“Y/n, what the hell are you doing here? I said to leave,” Nancy warned.

“I’m not leaving. You guys need help, and I want to help.”

“Y/n—“ Jonathan began, but his warning was cut short when the lights began to flash again. You quickly grabbed a large kitchen knife from the pile of improvised weapons on the coffee table and met Nancy and Jonathan back to back in the center of the room.

“Where is it?” You asked, trying to shove the fear in your chest down, hoping it was a false alarm, that the wiring was screwy, that you were safe.

“Come out, you son of a bitch!” Jonathan yelled out. You willed your hands not to shake as you tightened your grip on the handle of the knife. Suddenly the lights went out, plunging the room into inky black darkness. You blinked rapidly, a futile attempt to get your eyes to adjust to the pitch black room.

You heard a low growl before Nancy exclaimed, “Y/N!”

You spun around, eyes meeting the nine-foot hulking form of whatever the hell this thing was, standing less than a foot from you. You didn’t even have time to scream as it lunged at you, pinning you to the floor. Your knife fell from your grasp, clamoring across the hardwood. You wish you could go back to when you hadn’t had a good look at the monster. Now you stared wide eyed as its face opened up revealing countless rows of razor sharp teeth as it shrieked, spewing thick drool across your face.

“Help me! Please! Nancy!” You screamed out as you writhed under the pressure of the beast. Its clawed fingers began tightening around your upper arm, ripping into your skin as you cried out in pain. It reared back to scream its ear piercing scream again, but something collided with it, knocking it off-kilter. Its long claws dragged across the flesh of your arm, etching larger gashes as its grip began to release.

You took this opportunity to slip away, scrambling across the floor on hands and knees as you grabbed the kitchen knife, turning around to slash the monster’s achilles. It cried out, turning back towards you, this time far angrier than it had been in the first place. This was when you realized that the collision from before had been Steve, swinging Jonathan’s nail bat as hard as he could at the creature.

He had come back for you.

He continued to swing the bat with all his might, causing the monster to stumble backwards until the resonant clang of metal hitting against metal rang out.

“He’s in the trap! He’s stuck!” Steve yelled out, causing the rest of you to spring into action.

“Jonathan, now!” Nancy shouted. Jonathan hurtled around the corner, the unmistakable flick of a lighter sounding out before he tossed it in the gasoline soaked carpet. The hallway erupted in flames that were almost too bright to bear, as the four of you covered your eyes. You took this opportunity to sprint back to the family room, quickly grabbing the fire extinguisher laid out on the rug, before bounding back to the hallway.

“Get back!” You shouted as you desperately tried to put out the fire before you were all suffocated in a fiery mix of ash and smoke. You all coughed as the smoke cleared, revealing that the monster had disappeared, no longer stuck between the teeth of the bear trap.

“Where did it go?” Nancy hesitantly asked.

“It has to be dead. It has to be,” Jonathan said, though it seemed more like he was saying it to convince himself; to speak it into existence.

Suddenly the string lights started blinking again, this time in a line leading toward them in the hallway. Your breath caught in your throat, and Steve protectively pushed himself in front of you and Nancy. The lights then blinked again, this time in a line towards the front door. This time they weren’t the erratic display of chaos from earlier, but rather an orderly demonstration of cosmos. The four of you cautiously followed the lights, weapons drawn just in case.

“Mom?” You heard Jonathan quietly ask. His eyes welled with tears, and you immediately wanted to hug the boy. He’d been through so much. He didn’t deserve this; none of you did.

You followed the lights outside the house, watching the streetlight gently flicker before all trace of the paranormal phenomenon dissipated.

“Where’s it going?” You asked quietly.

“I don’t think that’s the monster,” Jonathan responded. He didn’t elaborate and none of you asked.

Steve quickly turned to you, gently grabbing your wrist. “Y/n, you’re bleeding,” he said, his eyes widening as they focused on your blood soaked sleeve.

“It doesn’t matter. Where’s Dustin? Please tell me one of you knows,” you turned to ask Nancy and Jonathan, both of them caught off guard by your question.

“Uh, I think it really does matter, y/n. We don’t even know what the hell that thing was! You can’t just ignore—“

“They’re at the school,” Nancy interrupted. She wanted to argue with you too, to tell you that you definitely needed medical attention, but she also knew you weren’t going to listen. Hell, you’d just run back into a house with an inter-dimensional threat so her and Jonathan wouldn’t have to face it on their own.

You turned back towards Steve. “Steve, I promise I’ll let you take me to the urgent care or the hospital or whatever if you just please let me go make sure he’s okay,” you pleaded. Tears were welling in your eyes and Steve realized that he wasn’t going to be able to say no to you.

“Fine, but this is fucked up.”

***

By the time you pulled into the parking lot of Hawkins middle, it was swarming with police cars and emergency vehicles. You felt nauseous and negligent, as you frantically scanned, looking for the curly mop of hair hidden under a baseball cap. Before Steve stopped the car, you flung your door open, jogging across the lot, calling out for the boy.

“Dustin! Dustin Henderson!”

“Woah, woah, woah! You can’t just jump out of a moving vehicle!” Steve caught up with you. He wanted to reach out and put a hand on your shoulder to rein you in a little, but he decided against it, not recalling which one was torn up. You had to be in excruciating pain, but you didn’t show it. She’s pretty damn tough, Steve thought to himself. Suddenly, you both saw the Henderson boy, chatting away with Lucas Sinclair, as if nothing had happened.

“Henderson!” You growled, marching across the parking lot towards the young child.

“Y/n, I can explain—“

“Do you have any idea the hell I just went through trying to find your ass?! Where the hell were you?!”

“You’re not going to believe me, but there’s this alternate—wait, what the hell happened to your arm?”

You looked at Steve, trying to silently decide how much to tell the young boy. He was just a kid; he didn’t need to be mixed up in all of this, and neither did Lucas. To be perfectly honest, neither did the two of you, but you couldn’t change what happened. You broke eye contact with Steve and looked at Dustin, lips slightly parted as you tried to find the right words to say. Before you could even say anything, Dustin broke the silence.

“It was the demogorgon, wasn’t it?”

“What in the fresh hell are you talking about?” Steve asked, growing tired of this kid who had inadvertently caused you to risk your life trying to find him instead of just listening to his damn babysitter.

“Monster, big and scary, likely inter-dimensional?”

“You…But how do you…you know about all of this?” You asked, your heart sinking knowing that you couldn’t protect him from this.

“It took Will, and we’ve been trying to find him,” Lucas chimed in.

“B-but…but there was a funeral. He died,” you stammered, your heart aching this time as you thought back to Jonathan and Joyce and how miserable they had been over the loss of the young child.

“Look, y/n, I’m sorry I snuck out but it was to find Will. I can explain the rest but it’s going to take a while and you might want to sit down,” Dustin hesitantly spoke.

“You’re so damn lucky your mom is out of town for the next few days,” you spoke through gritted teeth, but you sat down and you listened to the boy.

***

After his explanation, you and Steve were, needless to say, a bit stunned and speechless. How the hell did three middle school boys figure all of that out? And a girl with a shaved head and super powers? You couldn’t wrap your head around the fact that Hawkins Chief of Police Jim Hopper knew about all of this either. What was there that you could trust? Your head started to spin and you were getting a bit nauseous at the thought.

“I mean, this is wild Henderson. It’s borderline unbelievable,” Steve chided. Dustin’s eyes widened and his face reddened, clearly mad that Steve wasn’t buying his story.

“Are you serious right now, Steve? You saw it! You saw the damn demogorgon! How could you possibly deny that—“

“I said borderline unbelievable, shit bird. Obviously I know some strange shit is going on, it’s just still fucking insane.”

You couldn’t agree more with him as you attempted to stand up, but your vision blurred and you stumbled. You would’ve fallen if Steve hadn’t immediately shot up to catch and steady you.

“Woah, y/n, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” Steve’s eyes were darting all across your face. He wished he could read your mind but you just stared up at him with those eyes and it all remained a mystery.

“I think she needs to get that checked out. She’s losing a lot of blood,” Lucas chimed in, his brow furrowed under his camo bandana. He pointed at your blood soaked sleeve, and everyone simultaneously realized that blood was now dripping down your hand, the fabric no longer able to hold anymore liquid.

“No, no, I’m fine, I swear. Let me just walk it off. I’ll be okay,” you tried to sound confident, but your speech was slurred and there were dark spots invading your vision. Steve gently patted at the side of your face, attempting to keep you conscious.

“Y/n, just stay with us. We’re going to get you help. Just keep those pretty eyes open for me. Y/n, please!” He sounded desperate, and you fought to stay awake. The next thing you knew, he was carrying you, attempting to make it to an ambulance to get your wounds assessed by a real medical professional.

“Hey, we need you to take us to a hospital right now,” Steve spoke quickly as he sprinted to one of the EMTs on scene.

“What happened to her?”

“It’s a long story. Please sir,” Steve’s voice began to falter. The EMT gestured for Steve to hop in the back of the ambulance where he gingerly placed you on the gurney. Lucas and Dustin swiftly followed suit, going to hop into the ambulance, but the EMT stepped in front of the boys to stop them.

“Woah, where do you think you’re going?”

“Sir, if you could please let them come with us. We babysit them and I can’t leave them here by themselves,” Steve argued. It wasn’t entirely a lie, but it was the best he had to work with to convince the guy to take Sinclair and Henderson with them. Dustin looked at him with confusion, mouthing the word “we?” before Steve shot him a warning glance to fix his face before their story was invalidated.

You woke up in a hospital bed, hooked up to an IV. You were no longer in your blood soaked clothes, your frame fitted with a hospital gown instead. You looked over to your left arm which had since been stitched up and was now wrapped in gauze, the bleeding slowing to a stop.

“Steve?” You called out, hoping he was still with you.

“Y/n! You’re awake!” He exclaimed rushing over to the side of the bed. You’d been out for the past hour. They had sedated you once you arrived at the hospital, saying it would be easier to tend to your wounds that way.

“Today didn’t really go how I thought it would.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean,” Steve chuckled.

“I mean, my worst fear earlier was that I was going to get fired. I can tell you that I have significantly worse fears than that now,” you hated crying in front of people, with Steve being the last person you wanted to be vulnerable in front of, but you couldn’t help it as your eyes welled up and one stubborn tear slid down your cheek. Steve was quick to wipe it away, his hand reaching down to hold yours.

“I know, but on the bright side, I think you might be the most qualified babysitter in Hawkins,” Steve tried desperately to make you smile. It worked as you let out a wet laugh through your sob.

“I mean, I guess so,” you chuckled, your cheeks heating up at the compliment.

“You guess so? I know so. I don’t know anybody who would fight a monster with that many fucking teeth for some kid.”

“Nancy would,” you reminded him, your voice getting small again. The light in his eyes suddenly dissipated and he let go of your hand.

“Yeah, no, you’re probably right. I guess we’d all make pretty damn good babysitters,” he averted eye contact, preferring to look at his hands. In the time he’d been spending with you, he kind of forgot about Nancy. He felt guilty.

“You should talk to her, you know?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m sure she’s probably ready to put whatever happened between the two of you behind her. I mean, you really stepped up when it mattered today,” you added. You weren’t sure why you were saying it because the thought of him going back to Nancy made your heart ache, but maybe you weren’t ready for the alternative. You weren’t ready for him to look at you the way he looked at her. Not that you thought he would, but you just felt the need to create some distance. A lot had happened and this wasn’t the way you wanted him to realize you were something special, something to hold onto.

“Yeah, I guess…I mean, I guess I’ll go talk to her. Let me know if you need anything, yeah?” He looked you in the eye. Instead of seeing annoyance or indifference, you saw something new for a change: sincerity.

“Promise.”

He gave you a small smile, pausing in the doorway as he took one last look at you. You did a small wave goodbye, reassuring him that you’d be okay. With that, he took a breath and turned the corner, making his way back to the hospital waiting room where him and Nancy would patch things up. There was something about you though; something he couldn’t quite get out of his head.

He also had a sinking feeling in his chest that this wasn’t the end of whatever was going on in Hawkins. He had a feeling that the danger would linger, lurking in the shadows. He pushed the feeling aside and smiled weakly at Nancy, moving to sit in the empty chair next to her.

***

a/n: I hope y’all liked it; in theory there’s more to come (like I said earlier it’s gonna be a slow burn so yeah lol). If you feel so inspired to reboot this post that would also be pretty dope and I’d be eternally grateful <3

[unfriedough]

Hi super sorry if your request aren’t open.

I had this thought about Zuko x waterbending reader and maybe they could be related to Hama (like a grandma or something) and r basically it’s difficult to explain but Zuko and reader started dating after the war and he tries really hard to get Hamas approval because he’s from the fire nation and Hama ends up sorta accepting him but is still hella weary about him

‘Dinner’- Zuko x female!reader

An: HIYA! So as to not be annoying I’m leaving my lil disappearance explanation at the bottom, enjoy 🫶

(As usual, thank you for your request and patience it means a lot 💕)

Warnings: fighting/agression but it’s brief dw (this is also a very short piece)

You smiled as a candle flickered in your room, kicking your feet as you read a letter your boyfriend, Zuko, wrote to you. He detailed in it his most recent endeavours as a fire lord, as well as affirmed that he could in fact come for a visit. You had been planning to move to his palace soon, as per his request, but he was afraid your grandmother, Hama, a ruthless fire nation hating blood bender who might just hate Zuko, would not be on board. You decided the easiest way was to have them both over for food, and you’d prepared a huge feast of different delicacies of both nations. Zuko was meant to arrive in about an hour, and Hama was already down stairs washing up. She vaguely knew you were going to introduce her to someone, just not entirely aware of who. You shoved the scroll into another backpack you packed for your move, which was supposed to take place a week from now if all goes well.

You walked over to the window sill and sat on a cushion you placed on the protruding wooden part, sighing. You wandered in an endless maze of thoughts, until a face appeared in front of you. You squeaked, almost falling backwards but you caught yourself. Shaking your head, you unlocked the window and pulled zuko in.

“Dude?” You questioned, pulling him in for a hug.

He smelled like the sea, you noted, originally expecting the smell of a certain beast on him.

“Sorry- I got nervous,” you giggled, pinching his pouty cheeks.

He grinned, dipping you into a passionate kiss that screamed ‘I miss you’ in every language. His hand trailed to your back, and yours his hair. Just as things began to escalate, the door swung open.

“YN!”

Immediately, you pushed him away, and he stumbled backwards. Both your eyes landed on your grandma, who was as pale as a ghost.

“I can explain!”

“What kind of nonsense is this?”

Zuko was frozen, from the long list of things that could've gone wrong, this did not even make the top one hundred list.

“Grandma, this is Zuko,” you calmed down, “My boyfriend,”

He snapped out of his trance and extended an arm to shake with her. She walked out, leaving a small stone to prevent the door from closing again.

“Sorry about her,” you groaned, embarrassed that she left him hanging.

He retreated his arm, shoving it into his pocket, “She already thinks I suck. It’s over.”

“It’s okay she’s easy to win over,” you smiled sweetly, contrasting the lies that currently fled your lips.

Stiff, awkward, weird… all of the above.

You couldn’t relax for this dinner, things were so tense after what just happened. He didn’t even get to say hello before she saw his tongue down your throat and now she probably is a hair away from blood bending him into a ball. And he could tell she hated him- when he asked you to pass him a spoon she threw it at him. She missed…

“So, why don’t you tell her about yourself Zuko,” you broke the silence.

His eyes widened, suddenly being put on the spot, “Well I-uh-um-“ he coughed.

“He helped the avatar end a hundred year war,” you chimed in.

“Yeah so he can start a 200 year war all on his own,” she remarked, glaring at him. “All fire folks are the same,”

“Gram, give him a chance, he’s trying his best,” you held his hand over the table, rubbing your thumb in comforting circles.

Suddenly, a fork came hurling at you, and when you both dodged your hands away, you found it embedded in the table.

“Right…” you breathed out.

She stood up abruptly, folding her arms, “Yn, come outside, now,”

“Yes ma’am,” you replied, looking back at Zuko with a worried expression.

You shut the creaky wooden door behind you and adjusted your garments as you stood by here on the patio.

“A fire nation boy?”

“He’s different… he’s not what you think he is,”

“That’s what they all say Yn, he’s bad news.”

“What about him is bad news?”

“Everything. Especially the fact that he’s a ticking time bomb.”

“He’s a good man.”

“Are you forgetting his past? He attacked the avatar!” Your eyes widened, “That’s right, I did my research… I know every little thing he did and so help me if you dare leave this house with him I will make sure that’s the last time either of you see each other.”

“You can’t do that!”

“Who’s gonna stop me?”

Your eyes brimmed with tears- it was one thing to ban you from seeing him, but a completely other thing to treat you like a child. You were old enough to make these decisions on your own. You huffed, storming back inside and waltzing into your bedroom, slamming the door with a lot of force.

Hama sat back down at the table, smiling before she flipped it onto Zuko. He gasped, standing up quickly to avoid being crushed. She stomped around the table and got up in his face, grabbing the collar of his shirt. She was surprisingly strong for her ancient age.

“What do you want from her?”

“To be with her,”

“Why?”

“Because I love her,”

“WHY?”

“WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY?”

She pushed him onto the ground, lifting her arm as if about to bloodbend him. He’d heard the tales of what she was capable of from his friends, and he felt his heart drop.

Zuko froze, waiting, shielding himself and closing his eyes.

“Aren’t you gonna firebend?” She asked, a bitter sounding tone.

“No.”

Just then, you exited your room, finally having collected your bearings. There, you found Zuko almost curled up on himself, and Hama glaring at him. He breathed heavily, and she looked as if a blood vessel was about to pop. You immediately rushed to his side, helping him up to his feet and checking him for wounds. He was fine of course.

Your hand brushed against his cheek and he closed his eyes, humming, “I’m fine,”

“What did you do?” You yelled, looking at the old lady.

“I tested him.”

You laughed sarcastically, “And did he pass,”

“With flying colours,” 2 out of 3 pairs of eyebrows flew upwards, you and Zuko exchanged glances. “For now,”

After a bit of cleaning up, you finished the night with Zuko in your bedroom, sitting at your desk.

“Is everything okay?” You asked, leaning against the table.

“If she doesn’t even want me near you, how on Earth are you going to move in with me?”

“That’s… that’s a great question.”

An: OKAY SO idek where to start I basically obv got back to school and I had exams and then even MORE EXAMS coming up (send help) BUUUT I mainly just lost my spark and interest in writing but it feels wrong to continue to ignore my inbox so I’m gonna try my best to clear it soon. If you have requested I’m genuinely so so sorry it’s taken this long I’m sure you’re mad at me but hopefully not too mad don’t hate me okay bye love you 🩷

[heesdreamer]

let you break my heart again

PAIRING ➩ jake x reader

SUMMARY ➩ attending the same college as your childhood friend ( and longtime crush ) jake sim, you weren’t prepared for the complete change in his personality.

GENRE ➩ playboy au! jake. based off the lyrics of the ‘let you break my heart again’ by laufey. romance ( slight angst )

WARNINGS ➩ suggestive content at times

WC ➩ 9.08k

feeling kind of sick tonight all ive had is coffee and leftover pie, it’s no wonder why

“I’m doing fine here mom…. no it’s great, I’ve made lots of friends. Of course I’m eating well mom, but I really don’t have time for this I’m super busy. No I love you too. Yes I will, talk soon bye.”

Hanging up the phone, you let it fall onto the floor beside you. You were sprawled out on your stiff couch, staring up at the chipping paint on the ceiling and letting your hand dangle off so your fingers were just barely brushing the carpeted floor.

It was starting to become exhausting to lie to your mom, at first it was merely an annoyance but now you genuinely felt like you were committing some sick act every time you spoke. Luckily for you, the longer you were away from home, she called less and less.

Moving away from your hometown always seemed big and scary to you and that’s why you longed for it so bad.

But here you were now and the excitement of an unpredictable independent city life was dimmed down and you were just left with a low amount of funds, and possibly a stress induced head cold.

oh, still you take up all my mind

Your phone buzzing lowly against the carpet caused your head to turn dramatically, leaning over with a groan and fumbling to grab it from off the floor in a haste.

Holding it up above your face, you squinted at the bright screen, and sighed when you realized it was just another spam email and not the message you’d been awaiting. Around this time yesterday you had drunkenly sent a message to Jake Sim, more on him later, and now you were sitting in misery waiting for his response.

Jake Sim was the only other person from your hometown that you knew who had made the move to the city. He actually was the original inspiration for your plans in the first place, being one year older and moving before you even finished high school.

At one point you’d have like to consider yourself friends, running in the same social circle and even hanging out one on one more than a couple of times. You weren’t exactly sure if he thought of you the same considering outside of your few close friends, he had lots of other connections and you completely lacked in that department.

i dont even think that you care like i do

Still, a true naive romantic at heart, you fell for him years ago and despite your knowledge that it can’t be more than a fleeting crush at most, you still felt the want to stay close to him even now.

When you first moved here and met with your dorm roommate, a small chirpy girl named Brit, she was kind and friendly and invited you out to a ‘start of the year’ party with a big warm smile.

“Y/N?” A voice coming from behind you caused you to freeze slightly at the recognition, never being able to miss his smooth low timber, before taking a deep breath and putting on a casual face as you turned around.

“Oh my god, Jake hi.” You were relieved that your voice came out surprised and natural, adorning an affectionate smile and resisting the urge to tug down your dress.

The dress in which his eyes were scaling down, an eyebrow cocked and then lowered when he met your gaze again and realized you were watching him check you out.

You were making your own quick assessments, his newly bleached hair looked darker than it did on his social medias, coasting closer to an ash honey color. You subconsciously raised a hand and pulled your hair in front of your shoulder.

“Why didn’t I know you went here?” He was taking a step closer to you and pulling you into a swift side hug, not moving away even after you both pulled apart. He was leaning against the wall and titling over you.

For a moment you almost frowned, almost told him that you had mentioned it a few times on both socials and in the slowly disappearing group chat of your high school friend group. Then you quickly remembered tonight was the first step in your attempt to stop being embarrassing.

So instead you slowly raised your shoulders in a relaxed shrug, turning so your back was against the wall he was leaning on and you weren’t facing him anymore. A smirk appeared on his face and for a moment you thought he might be seeing right through your act.

“Well, hit me up sometime then.” When he spoke this time it was a low murmur, leaning down to whisper it against your ear. You were positive he saw the shiver wrack through you and judging by the way he laughed and pushed off the wall, heading back into the crowd, you were right.

i should stop, heaven knows ive tried

You grabbed the couch pillow from beside you and pressed it tightly over your face, screaming into it and flailing your feet against the cushions. Their lack of foam and spring caused a low dull of pain to form in your legs but you ignored it.

You didn’t ever take Jake up on his offer, deciding that part of your new persona was definitely not going to include pining over boys who never looked your way. That didn’t mean you were giving up on your feelings, you just planned to have him come to you.

That lasted a total of five weeks and four glasses of wine before you were tipsy and sending him a message on Instagram that included four emojis and way too many exclamation points, inviting him to the party your roommate was throwing.

Said party was happening tomorrow and you felt weak and sweaty at both the thought of him not showing up and how awkward it would be if he did. A large part of you wanted to unsend the message but you imagined him seeing the notification that you did so and then questioning what you had said would be far worse than him seeing your invite and ignoring it.

“Girl is it that serious?” The sound of your roommates voice caused you to toss the pillow across the room and turn to see her judging face.

“Why did you let me do that.” You groaned out the words and turned on your side to face the couch. You felt the cushion dip as she sat next to where your head laid and let out a small sigh.

“What’s the worse that’ll happen?” Her voice was soft and you once again silently thanked the universe for giving you the nicest girl in the city as a roommate. “You said you’d been into him since like middle school.”

You didn’t say anything for a while and the guilt seeped in when you heard another small sigh fall from her lips.

“It’ll be fun regardless if he shows up, I promise.”

——

You were absolutely not having fun. It was almost impossible to considering you had spent the whole night anxiously keeping an eye out for Jake incase he decided to show up and ruin your life.

Giving up on trying to hold conversations, you started to swiftly make your way to the kitchen with the plan to duck behind the counters and wait for the night to end so you could crawl back onto your couch, which was currently housing multiple make out sessions, and resume last nights position.

“Are you avoiding me?” You had just turned the corner into the off limits room when you smacked into a strong frame, his voice immediately following and alerting you of who it was.

You backed away quickly and looked up at Jake, eyes trailing down to his black button up before stopping at his belt and looking to your right awkwardly. He let out a small chuckle and leaned forward to tap a finger against your head softly.

“Did you hear me?” He teased and you came to the realization that he was a lot different than he was back in your hometown, and unlike you, his cool show of confidence was genuine.

one day i will stop falling in love with you

You felt like a total idiot as you brought your attention back to him, looking up through your eyelashes to hold his gaze and you suddenly realized that you liked this newer cockier version of him too.

Being so used to his younger personality, his loud attention stealing laugh and big boxy smiles, you were hoping that the sight of his low lazy smirks would unnerve you. You wished his lack of usual dog like goofiness and awkward clumsy movements would wake you up out of your years of pining.

Yet watching him casually leaned against your wall and taking a slow sip from his cup, keeping eye contact with you over the brim, you considered the fact you might be more into him than you’d realized.

“I’m not avoiding you.” You finally replied, furrowing your eyebrows and crossing your arms in an attempt to show annoyance at the (totally true) accusation.

“I think you might be.” He let out a low hum, clearly enjoying teasing you and you felt your face flush when he leaned closer, similar to the way he peered over you the last time you’d seen him. “You know what else I think?”

You forced yourself to hold eye contact with him despite the close proximity and you raised an eyebrow in question. You felt the ghost of his breath on your face and you wondered what you would look like if somebody were to walk in right now.

“I think you look pretty.” He finished off his thought and you felt like your stomach flip upside down, your breath stuttering as you faltered backwards a few steps. Your felt the wall of the doors archway hit your shoulder blades and stopped.

Jake followed your movements, taking a few steps so he was just as close to you as he was previously.

Despite your obvious reaction to his effect on you, you still tried to show some dignity here before it was totally clear to him what a loser you were. You sucked in a deep breath and crossed your arms infront of you so he couldn’t come any closer.

“Who says I care what you think?” He smiled widened at your annoyed tone, clearly catching on to the fact that you were playing hard to get. His eyes dropped down to your chest where your arms were crossed and then back to your face.

You tried to control your breathing as you felt his hand smooth it’s way up your tensed arm, stopping at your face as he held your chin between his thumb and pointer finger. You watched him through your eyelashes as he titled your head up slightly and you, for a second, thought he let out a pleased scoff at the way you let him adjust you without complaint.

He was leaning in to talk again and you briefly noted that it wasn’t nearly loud enough for how close he was getting to your face, your eyes were darting around his features nervously as you waited for him to speak.

“Y/N.” The tension popped like it’d been stabbed with a knife, or rather by a poorly timed interruption by the name of Lee Heeseung. Jake didn’t back away from you, although his hand caressed your cheek before falling back towards your side, even when the other boys eyes widened at the sight of you pinned against the wall.

It didn’t surprise you when he leaned over your frame and gave Heeseung a handshake in greeting, considering he knew everybody, but what did slightly shock you was the annoyance on his face. Despite greeting his friend warmly, he didn’t seem at all happy to be interrupted.

His eyebrows were tensely pulled to the center of his forehead and he glanced at you with anger, eyes softening again when they met yours.

You, on the other hand, were extremely grateful for the excuse to get out of this room that was suffocating you with tension and confusion. You titled your head in Heeseung’s direction to ask why he had come to find you in the first place.

“Brit’s throwing up.” He winced as he said your roommates name, glancing back behind him towards the direction of the party. “Like kinda everywhere… I figured you’d want all of us out of here.”

You sighed softly and ignored the way Jake lowly groaned and took a few steps away from you, seemingly understanding the situation was too important for you to ignore. You offered him an apologetic smile and avoided his gaze.

“I’ll see you around?”

——

some day, someone will like me like i like you

It had taken just short of two hours to clear the apartment, and then almost double that to clean up the absolute destruction that was left behind by random classmates and passerbyers. Not to mention the almost extreme amount of vomit your roommate had managed to spew in multiple corners.

“I just want to be dead.” Said roommate was currently stealing your favorite position of sulking in misery on your couch. “And why does our couch fucking suck this bad.”

You let out a small laugh and she groaned at the noise, putting her hands over her eyes and mumbling about how embarrassing it must’ve been.

“I’m so sorry you had to clean it all by yourself.” She was mumbling and you smiled in her direction, doubtful she was looking at you or even able to see that far in her current state.

“I wasn’t by myself don’t worry.” She perked up at this, sitting up on the couch with another groan but looking far more alert. You shook your head and sighed out an explanation. “Heeseung stayed back to help. I felt bad that he did so I offered to get him coffee today”

“Oh my god.” She chirped loudly and threw her hands up in the air, hangover momentarily forgotten. You let her show a theatric amount of excitement, knowing she was desperate for you to have any sort of social life outside of stalking Jake on Instagram. “You have a date!”

“I absolutely do not have a date.” You shook your head again and left the kitchen, sitting cross legged next to her on the couch and looking at her intensely. “I’m serious Brit this isn’t a date, so don’t tell people I have a date.”

She pouted at you, and then even deeper when you rolled your eyes at her attempt to woo you with her cuteness.

“But it’s a big deal if it’s a date.” She tried to reason with you. “Besides even if it’s not a date maybe hearing you went on one will wake Jake up to the fact he’s missing out on all of this.”

You ignored the way she gestured down your body and seductively wiggled her eyebrows, remembering that you had forgotten to mention your intense stare down with Jake from last night. You decided it was best to not mention it so she wouldn’t feel guilty for getting sick even more than she already did.

Her idea of making Jake jealous was completely baseless and had no chance of working but for some reason you recalled the anger on his face when Heeseung interrupted you and your stomach turned with anticipation.

“Okay but you can only tell one person.”

——

until then, ill drink my coffee and eat my pie

It had been an hour and a half of sitting at the designated meeting spot Heeseung had texted you earlier that morning, and you were still alone minus the three empty coffee cups surrounding you.

You were trying to feign casualness so the waitress couldn’t tell you had been stood up on your date that wasn’t a date and that you were failing to prove that you weren’t a total loser still.

The chime of the door didn’t register to you, at this point you had stopped expecting him to show up and you were fully prepared to hide your face in class for the rest of your life and ban all contact with Lee Heeseung. Not even the sound of the seat next to you being pulled out caught your attention, only sinking lower in your stool at the bar.

A few moments of silence passed and you were just about to turn your head to the side, curious why the person sitting so close to you hadn’t made any move to order or seemingly breathe when they cleared their throat.

You hoped the way your eyes widened, mouth parting slightly in surprise, weren’t the reason for the proud smile on Jake’s face as he shifted in his seat next to you.

“Oh my god, what the fuck are you doing here?” You groaned and attempted to shrink in on yourself. Not only were you humiliated from being stood up, but now the last person you’d want to see you like this was here and smiling over at you.

“Here to save you from loneliness.” He was still smiling brightly, pointing at your emptied cup in a signal to the waitress for a refill. For a moment he resembled the younger Jake you were familiar with and your frown worsened. “Being ditched sucks.”

“How do you even know about that.” You grumbled, energy lost from the day. You gave a nod in thanks to the server who was filling up the mug you clutched tightly.

“Brit.” He shrugged and you groaned again at the realization your roommate had infact told more than one person about your meetup. “But you’re here alone so I pieced it together.”

pretend that we are more than friends

“Not technically alone I guess.” You reasoned and he smiled again as you spoke, seemingly happy that you were teasing back. You glanced at the waitress who was back behind the counter and she smiled when she met your gaze. Your face flushed, she must’ve figured your date had finally shown up.

“Well I don’t know about you but I feel like there’s better things we can do than sit in this coffee shop for another few hours.” He was standing from his stool as he spoke like he was positive you’d follow him and you hated that he was right.

——

“Do you even know where we are going?” You were looking out the window and watching hills fly by in a blur, eyebrows furrowed even though Jake couldn’t see you.

He chuckled softly and you turned your body a few degrees to glance at him as he drove, one hand on the steering wheel and the other shoved out the open window. His hair was going in different directions because the force of the wind and you noted his dark roots growing in.

You were curious if he planned to keep bleaching it or if he’d let it go dark again. If you were closer, more friends than whatever it was you were, you’d tell him you like it best black.

It was easier to picture the version of him you knew like that, you were so used to seeing his dark locks sleeping at random desk during free hours or rushing through the hallways so he wasn’t late for lunch. This new look and personality felt so unfamiliar.

“Just because I’m not telling you, doesn’t mean I don’t know.” He responded, sparing you a quick glance and raising an eyebrow when he caught you staring lost in thought. “Besides we are almost there, have some patience maybe.”

You slumped back in your seat, staring out the window again as you spotted a parking lot coming up in the distance. Your lips naturally formed a pout as you squinted and tried to make out where you were.

Jake pulled into the parking lot, gravel crunching under his tires as he pulled his hand back into the car and parked outside the lines. Only a few other cars were in this lot and you quickly realized where he had taken you.

“The beach?” It was starting to chill out now, the time of year where you much preferred sweaters and movie nights over days outside. You glanced over at him for confirmation and studied his expression.

For just a moment he looked nervous and slightly fearful, like he thought you wouldn’t be pleased or maybe you’d ask to just go home instead. Then it was replaced with a half smile and a shrug as he opened his door and hopped out of the car.

You took a few seconds to process his change of expression. You didn’t take this new Jake as somebody who cared what random girls they barely knew thought, maybe you were reading too far into a blank expression.

Before you could consider it further your door was thrown opened and you turned to see Jake waiting outside of it, holding it open for you and fully smiling now.

After a few minutes of silently walking down the sandy trail you couldn’t stand the silence. “How’d you find this place anyways?”

“You know Sunghoon?” You hummed softly in confirmation to his question. “He showed it to me when I first moved here. I guess I was complaining too much about missing home… missing…”

His sentence slowed to a stop and you glanced over at him, waiting for him to finish whatever thought he was having. He was already looking at you and he looked slightly pained before looking away and gesturing in front of you.

You turned your gaze away from him reluctantly and your features softened in awe at the view in front of you. Two sand hills were parted to reveal the result of your hike, a hidden beach with a light pink sunset off in the distance.

“It’s not as good as the ones back home but.” He didn’t finish his sentence again and this time you didn’t expect him to. Without thinking your hand was reaching down to tug on his sleeve, pulling him forwards and continuing your walk to the beach.

You let him go once the water was close enough that you could hear the waves, nearly drowning out your excited voice as the cold water splashed up and wrapped around your ankles. You heard Jake groan behind you and turned with a smile to see his jeans darkening with wetness.

The two of you played in the shallow water for a while, throwing splashes at each other and squealing everytime the bitter water touched your sun warmed skin.

Eventually the childish play tired you out and you were sat against a log a bit aways from the water, watching the sun set behind the ocean and covering your feet with the chilled sand.

A noise behind you caused you to turn your head, frowning deeply when you saw Jake kneeled in the sand with a camera in front of his face. The same noise went off again and you threw sand in his direction.

“Stop that.” You groaned and he laughed, dodging the attack and falling back onto his butt next to you by the log.

“Sorry sorry. I’ve just never seen you like this before.”

im just trying to understand what i am to you

“What do you mean?” You squinted your eyes in his direction but he wasn’t looking at you, keeping his gaze on the setting sun or down at his fingers that were pushing through the sand.

“You were always too cool to hang out with us at places like this.” He laughed softly but you felt a strange tension settled in his words like he was thinking of something specific.

Your stomach turned in confusion at what he was saying and you felt the need to question him, swallowing it when he made eye contact with you again and smiled softly. It didn’t meet his eyes and you titled your head slightly.

“I’d say it was the other way around.” You managed to say, trying to keep your tone light despite the meaning behind your words. In your version of events it was definitely Jake who had never been around in high school, always off with cooler older kids.

He’d always been more liked than the rest of your friend group but it escalated after his final prom when his presence pretty much became nonexistent up until he moved for college.

He was watching you and not saying anything and you were starting to curl in on yourself a bit self consciously. You reached up your arm to tug on your shirt sleeve and his eyes followed the movement.

“You’re cold?” He was asking but before he even finished the sentence he was sitting up off the log and pulling his sweater over his head, handing it in your direction as he fell back against the log. You stared at it as it dangled in his grip and he shook it a few times to get your attention.

You took it from him hesitantly, fingers brushing against his and he watched closely as you pulled it over your eyes and tugged your hair from the collar.

His eyes were seemingly tracing shapes on your frame as he looked at you, a strange expression on his face at the sight of you in his clothing.

“Why are you always staring like that?” You mumbled under your breath, shifting uncomfortably and he shrugged.

“You’re pretty.” He answered simply like it was the most obvious answer in the history of the world and your mouth parted in surprise. He’d said it before, but it sounded different when it wasn’t being whispered in a damp crowded room.

You felt your cheeks flush again but this time you didn’t attempt to hide your reaction. Despite the major differences, you needed to remind yourself that this was Jake, a boy you knew and cared about before you ever had this crush on him.

more than songs, we’ve exchanged. midnight calls, sunset views

He was still watching you, you could see him from the corner of your eye and you were half tempted to turn and meet his gaze. A few beats of silence, accompanied by the sound of the waves, and you succumbed to that temptation.

He didn’t falter when you looked over, only cocking his head slightly like he was expecting you to say something. However you didn’t and you just looked at him the way he was looking at you, in a heavy tensioned silence that made your stomach turn in dizzying circles.

Jake was always handsome, even before he had gotten older and his features were still soft and not yet matured, but he was particularly remarkable right now in the soft blue lighting of the nearly set sun.

“You should let your hair grow out.”

——

The days were passing by quickly now and fall break was swiftly approaching. You had no plans to go back home to your small town and neither did Brit. Currently she was packing hastily, not sparing you a glance as you laid on her bed and watched her fast pace.

“We leave in only two hours you know.” She was remarking and you shrugged softly, hiding a smile at her impatience. “I’m happy you’ve even agreed to this so I’m not going to nag you anymore than I need to but we are really short on time.”

She was referring to the fact she had somehow managed to convince you that going along to one final friend camping trip was what you should do with your break. Not only was it colder than you’d prefer, especially the night time, but others were also going and you weren’t big on social interaction.

Still you had agreed, and if part of the reason had been because Jake posted he was also going on his story than she didn’t need to know that.

After she had forced you to pack, and then ushered you out of the apartment with a swift shove and irritated eyebrows, you were eventually stuffed in the back seat of Sunghoon’s rented van. It was bigger than an average car but the more stops you arrived to the more you dreaded the drive.

As if things couldn’t get more stressful, right when you had thought you’d gotten away with an empty seat next to you he was pulling up to the final house. You watched as Jake closed his door behind him with an excited grin and waved at Sunghoon who was leaning out his open window.

You still didn’t stop staring even after he shoved his suitcase into the trunk and circled around the van, pulling open the slider door and scanning the vehicle for a spot to sit. His gaze first fell on the seat next to you and then scanned up to your face.

His smile faltered for just a second before it was replaced with another one, this one somehow both more genuine and two times as tense.

You hadn’t talked much since the other day at the beach due to the fact he hadn’t bothered texting you. You weren’t too caught up with the fact knowing you’d see eachother soon anyways but you were feeling a bit confused on the meaning of the hangout.

Your headphones stayed in as he walked with a ducked head to the back of the van, ignoring the glare Yang Jungwon was sending him when he accidentally stepped on his foot. You paused your music as he sat next to you but you didn’t take them off your head.

After he was seated, the van was officially full. Sunghoon and Brit were taking the roles of driver and passenger with Jungwon, Park Jay and a boy you hadn’t met before named Riki directly behind them. That left you and Jake in the back sat next to some of the bags that hadn’t fit in the trunk.

Another car was coming later in the day with some more friends of Brit and Sunghoon, the more social of the group.

Your phone vibrating in your grip stopped you in your mental roll call and you furrowed your brows down at it, ignoring the buzz. That plan didn’t last long considering it buzzed two more times immediately after.

jake : hi

jake : you have a habit of ignoring me i think

jake : !!!

You let out a small laugh and your eyes shot to the side, expecting to see him already looking at you and preparing to speak. Instead he was leaning away and keeping his gaze firmly out the window, a tight grip on his phone.

you : are we playing the silent game?

jake : yes

jake : i didn’t take you for the camping type… did anything inspire you to come along?

You looked at him again and this time he was looking at you too, an eyebrow raising slightly in question as he glanced down at your phone screen. You thought for a second before responding.

you : i could ask you the same thing

you : if my memories correct i distinctively remember you whining the whole entire week during that field trip sophomore year

jake : i don’t whine

You snorted a laugh and you felt Jake’s elbow poke your side in annoyance. You nudged him back and he pretended to be wounded, leaning against you so your shoulders were pressed tightly together. Brit’s eyes met yours in the mirror for just a split second before looking away.

jake : maybe i had my reasons

Then his hand was falling forward onto your knee and you stiffened up at the sudden contact. Your reaction caused him to freeze too and he started to quickly retract his hand, stopping when you placed yours on top of his and kept it where it was.

You were suddenly hyper aware of how close the two of you were and also the fact you had chosen to wear the most hideous pajamas pants you owned. Jake didn’t seem to mind, his thumb caressing the soft fabric without realizing he was making your head spin.

You squeezed your hand that was on top of his and he leaned forward to look at you, head resting against the seat infront of him as he turned his body slightly to face you. His hand was shifting up your leg slightly and you held his gaze, an eyebrow raising in permission.

Without hesitation, you gave it to him, nodding and loosening your grip on his hand. Your hand slid to his wrist instead, not wanting to remove it from his warm skin and you felt his arm muscles tensing like he was applying effort to resist moving his hand more.

Your knee was swinging towards his instinctively and his eyes shot down to the way this caused your legs to part more.

Then his stare was back on yours, eyes heavier as he watched you. For a second you thought he seemed nervous, gaze fidgeting against yours.

Your phone buzzed again and you glanced at his free hand in confusion, eyebrows furrowing when you realized his phone was shut off and laying forgotten in his lap so it couldn’t have been him that messaged you.

brit : what are you doing back there

You met her gaze in the mirror expecting to see a teasing smirk or maybe proud eyes at the fact you weren’t losing your cool due to Jake flirting with you. Instead her eyes were dark and squinted in warning. She picked her phone back up off her lap.

brit : jake invited a girl this weekend

brit : sunghoon told me im rlly sorry yn i was going to mention it when we got there

Your entire body locked up and Jake’s thumb stopped caressing your thigh in worry, leaning back against his seat to try to look at your phone screen to see the cause of your sudden tension. You quickly shut it off and shifted in your seat, swinging your knee so his hand fell limp against the seat. You leaned against your side of the seat, frowning and looking out the window.

You stayed like that for the rest of the ride, ignoring your phone buzzing in your hand and a few attempts to get your attention from the boy next to you.

Once you’d finally arrived at the campsite you were the first one to leave the van, nearly tripping on Jay in your haste to be out of the suffocating situation.

Hands on your lower back were suddenly leading you away and towards the empty site kicking your feet out of their frozen state, you glanced at Brit as she ushered you away from the boys, telling them briefly you were going to set up your tent in the distance.

You were thankful for her quick lie and the comforting arm she was wrapping around your side as you walked away from them, ignoring their confused murmurs.

“Are you going to cry.” She whispered once you were a good distance out of ear shot, you met her eyes and she winced. “Or maybe throw up? I can’t tell…”

You shook your head and glanced behind you. Jake was frozen as he watched the two of you with a worried frown, only looking away when Jungwon abruptly handed him a few bags to unpack.

“Neither.” You forced out and she looked relieved but like she didn’t even slightly believe you. “I don’t care who he brings.” You shrugged and nodded to try to convince yourself.

She watched you in silence, leaning back slightly like you were a live wire as she waited for you to snap.

“But tell me who he is bringing.” You gripped her hand tightly and she groaned in relief at your more expected reaction, squeezing your hand in hers and taking a step closer.

“I don’t even know just some girl from one of his lectures I guess.” She was whispering close to your face and your heart sank. “Sunghoon said she practically forced him to say she could come but you know he has a reputation.”

And she was right, you did know that this new version of Jake had quite a few whispers about him and how frequently he’d leave parties with girls he’d never be seen with again. You felt foolish for letting yourself separate this side of him with the boy from the beach.

Maybe the boy from a few years ago was worse with girls, cared about them more and awkwardly stumbled through flirty conversations or teasing comments but it seemed like this new Jake was the type to not think too deeply about feeling up an old friend in a packed car.

One half of you wanted to not care, happy he had paid you any attention at all even if it wasn’t ideal but the more realistic half knew you could never be casual with Jake without breaking your own heart.

“I’ll be fine don’t worry.”

——

You were absolutely positively NOT fine.

After setting up quickly before the sun set, the second car had arrived with the rest of the people you’d be camping alongside of and you were quickly regretting your last minute acceptance to come along.

A few slightly familiar faces had stumbled out of the car, like Sunoo from your history class who had waved with a yawn followed by a bright smile. He was immediately replaced in your line of sight by none other than Lee Heeseung, who froze at the sight of you and then practically scampered away.

And finally a girl you hadn’t seen before, and who hadn’t bothered to introduce herself. The girl was currently on the receiving end of your glare, across from you at the fire as she leaned over and whispered something lowly to Jake in the chair next to her.

You hoped the flames were blocking the obvious annoyance on your face, her high pitched squeals and refusal to do any of the work setting up required was slowly eating away at you. It had absolutely nothing to do with the fact she spent most the day draped over the boy you’d been infatuated with since before puberty.

Only adding to your growing frustration was the tense awkward boy beside you. Heeseung was practically curled into a ball in his camping chair, avoiding eye contact with your side of the earth and not speaking the entire fire. You were sick of it at this point and the combined anger at both situations got the better of you.

“Can we talk?” You were leaning over towards him to ask and your tone was heavy. He reluctantly looked at you and his eyes softened with guilt before he nodded.

Standing from your chair and wrapping your coat tighter around you, your gaze instinctively went to Jake. He was already watching you, eyebrows furrowing as he saw Heeseung stand and wait for you to leave so he could follow. You looked away from him in anger and started off towards the trees.

“Are you going to kill me be honest.” Heeseung eventually was groaning behind you as you walked in silence, cutting through the trail as you ended up near the dock.

“Why would I kill you?” You sighed and sat on the creaking wood, feet dangling and skimming the water of the green lake. He followed suit and sat a few inches away from you.

“For being a dick.” He shrugged and you laughed, kissing your teeth and nodding. “I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have not showed up without a text like that, regardless what Jake said.”

His words caused you to freeze in confusion and he seemed to notice your reaction, mouth parting in realization.

“You didn’t know…” He sounded both confused and like he had finally made sense of things in his mind. “Now I get why Brit keeps glaring at me in the hall.”

“What are you talking about Lee Heeseung?” You turned more towards him with sharp eyes and he shrunk in on himself slightly.

“I told Jake about our date and he told me I shouldn’t go because you had a boyfriend back home.” He was speaking fast and his eyes softened again at the hurt and confusion crossing your face. “I’m figuring now that probably isn’t true.”

You didn’t give him a response, staring down at his lap as you zoned out and tried to understand what he was telling you. Jake had not only sabotaged your date not date that apparently was a date but in doing so he made you seem like some awful cheater.

“Are you okay?” Heeseung was speaking again when you didn’t respond, leaning closer slightly and talking in a whisper like he was scared to break you from your trance. You looked at him hesitantly and his features softened at your teary expression. “I can go get Brit?”

You nodded in confirmation and offered him a small sad smile, hoping he got the memo that it wasn’t him you were upset with and you understood he had been caught in the miscommunication. He was patting your back softly before standing and jogging back towards the camp.

promise i don’t mean to cry but i get overwhelmed and confused

Sitting alone on the dock you allowed yourself to cry for just a few moments, you felt completely lost and confused. That mixed with the anger and jealously you’d felt all day and you were simply a mess of overstimulated emotions.

You didn’t understand why Jake would do that, what motive he would have. Maybe revenge for Heeseung interrupting his chance of a quick fuck the night before but you liked to believe that even if he changed, he still respected you enough to not spread rumors.

After ten minutes had passed your tears had slowed do a few sniffles and puffy eyes, using your thin sweater sleeves to wipe your face in preparation for your roommates arrival. You didn’t want to ruin the weekend by being overtly upset.

“Y/N?” The sound of the familiar voice caused you to freeze like it always did. Your shoulders tensed and you felt your fingers flex against the moist wood of the dock. The footsteps stepping onto the dock gave you a sick feeling.

“What do you want Sim?” You spit the words without turning to look at him and you shut your eyes tight when his hasty steps slowed with hesitation.

“I came to check on you… Heeseung went to get Brit but she wasn’t feeling well and went to sleep.” He was speaking slowly, getting closer but stopping a bit behind you like he wasn’t sure he was allowed to come closer. “Did he say something to you? What did he do?”

Now you were turning to glare at him, only briefly scanning his figure to see him wringing his hands together in anxiousness. “What did he do? What do you mean what did he do…what did you do?”

He didn’t even have the nerve to pretend to look confused, only being taken back for a second at your tone before a guilty dark look took over his expression.

“Okay listen, I had a reason.” He was holding his hands out in front of him in defense, eyebrows downturned. For just a second you felt bad at the way he frowned and then you remembered your anger.

You stood from the dock, turning your back on the water to face him. He seemed more taken back by this, your stance rigid and expecting. You raised an eyebrow at him and waved a hand to signal for him to continue.

His gaze dropped to his feet and then back up towards you, avoiding meeting your eyes and nervously wringing his hands together. “Okay maybe I don’t have a reason.”

Your shoulders deflated and you groaned.

“So you just made me look like an idiot for no reason.” You spat at him and he shook his head as you kept talking. “Not only an idiot but like some sketchy cheater.”

“I didn’t mean for it to be like that I just panicked.” He was rushing in his words and you were growing more confused with everything he said. Why did the idea of Heeseung taking you on a date make him panic?

“I deserve a better explanation than that Jake.” You were shaking your head now and he sighed. “I thought we were starting to be… I don’t know, friends.”

“Oh really?” He was sneering now and you faltered slightly, taken back by his sudden show of anger. “So now I’m cool enough to be friends with?”

“What the hell are you talking about?” You took a step towards him, your voice desperate in confusion.

“No don’t worry I get. Years of acting like I didn’t exist but now that I’m not a loser anymore I’m worthy of your time.” His voice was venomous and your head was swimming with confusion.

The incredulous look on your face only seemed to anger him further, neck vein protruding as he glared at you. He was holding your stare and softened just for a second at the genuine lack of understanding on your face.

“Are you talking about highschool?” You tried to keep your voice steady, wanting to understand what he was referring to without angering him. He gave you a look like it was obvious and you shook your head. “That’s not what happened at all, if anything it was the opposite.”

At this, he let out a loud scoff and took a step backwards in bewilderment. You watched him wrestle with this information, at the same time you were wracking through your memories with Jake to try and find what point in time he was referring back to.

You’d never thought of Jake as a loser, sure a little clumsy and awkward but that was the first thing you had liked about him. It wasn’t easy for you to spend time with him alone because you’d always end up embarrassing yourself, your crush on him bringing out the worst in you, but you definitely still hung out from time to time.

“You totally rejected me.” He was speaking again, his voice weaker this time as the embarrassment replaced his anger. “You not even remembering the worst day of my highschool life makes it ten times more awful.”

“Rejected you when?” Your head was starting to hurt from the crying and pure confusion. As awkward as you were around him, you know even highschool you would never have rejected Jake Sim.

“Prom.” He spat the word like it was obvious, like he was expecting you to suddenly remember your supposed rejection and make sense of this conversation but if anything it was only confusing you further. “You really just don’t remember?”

“There’s nothing to remember.” You spat out, angry at his persistent accusations. “I didn’t go to prom either year, you went with Lily and I stayed at home.”

Your stomach was turning with bitterness at the memory, this fact followed by his sudden avoidance after prom still hurt as it lingered in your mind.

“You think I wanted to go with Lily?” His laugh was humorless and cold. “Everybody knew I wanted to go with you only, I couldn’t not go just because you said no, I’d look like a total idiot.”

“Then why wouldn’t you just ask me?” Your voice was hoarse and angry but your stomach was turning at the thought of Jake wanting to go to prom with you.

You remember that year clearly, it was Jake’s final school dance and your friends had jokingly teased the possibility of him asking you. Of course at the time it seemed baseless to you, you were just friends since you’d never had the courage to put your feelings to action.

Like you had anticipated, a girl from your grade named Lily was posting the next week that she had been asked by Jake and they were going together. Even though you’d accepted long ago he’d never notice you in that way, you were still devastated and decided to spend this year at home alone.

“I did ask you.” He was stressing the words, hands thrown out in desperation for you to understand. You tensed up as you looked at him.

You started to slowly shake your head in denial and his shoulders lowered, coming to a realization.

“You never got the letter.” It wasn’t a question but a statement and the look on your face further proved it to be true. “I… I put it in your locker I don’t understand.”

“My locker?” Your voice was soft with exhaustion and a guilty look crossed his face.

“Two weeks before the dance.” He explained and he was taking a step towards you. He looked slightly relieved when you didn’t back away from him or raise your hands in rejection.

You scrunched your nose and tried to remember such a specific time in your life, only remembering one major detail that caused your face to light up in realization.

“Jake.” You groaned and he raised an eyebrow and nodded in anticipation. “Jake I had that nasty stomach flu everybody was getting. I was absent until after winter break.”

He didn’t say anything for a long time and you watched him go through different stages of remembrance, the noise of the woods and lake fading back in now that your shouts had died down.

“You never got it?” His voice was barely a whisper, almost like it wasn’t even meant for you to hear. It was a personal realization of his mistake and you reached a hand up to tug on his sleeve. His eyes shot down to your hand and then your face, eyes heavy and guilty.

if only you knew what i felt like

“Why on earth would I reject you.” You tried to keep your voice soft but it was shaking slightly with nerves as you finally voiced your longest kept secret. “Everybody knew how obsessed with you I was.”

“But I was a total idiot.” He shook his head and you took a step closer to him. “I spent so long trying to become cooler and you’re telling me it was pointless?”

He was looking down at you, in a similar stance to the multiple times you held long tensioned stares at parties and you were understanding now that similar to your casual careless persona you’d been attempting to show him, he was wearing a mask of his own.

“I liked that idiot way before I liked you, playboy.” He smiled at your light tone, arm sliding up your arm to hold your elbow and keep you standing close to him.

“Maybe I stretched the truth a tad.” His voice was low and you raised an eyebrow as you looked up at him, liking the way his bangs touched his eyebrows as he watched you.

“What about that girl you invited?” Your smile faltered slightly, remembering why you were out here on the dock in the first place. Your stomach tightened in jealously and you felt the urge to smack away his hand that was sliding to hold your lower back.

You resisted the urge, placing your hands flat on his chest and giving him the chance to explain. Miscommunication was clearly causing issues for years between the two of you.

“She practically forced her way into the van after overhearing us talk about it at a party last weekend.” He was explaining with an annoyed shake of his head and you nodded remembering Brit saying Sunghoon had a similar version of events.

“I shouldn’t have let her touch me.” He looked angry at himself and you wanted to reach up and smooth out the crease in his eyebrows. “I guess I got jealous seeing Heeseung was here. The same way I did when I ruined your date. I’m really sorry about that.”

“So instead of just asking me out yourself, you kidnapped me and took me to a beach?” You smiled softly at him and his lip quirked up slightly despite the look of guilt remaining.

“I know… I guess I’m still an idiot.” His smile fell and a pained look covered quickly his expression. “God, I made you cry.”

“Yeah you totally made me cry.” You balled your into fist against his chest and his eyes looked at the way his shirt scrunched up between your fingers. You gave him a soft smile, rocking forward and trying to ease his mind from the guilt he was feeling.

Then he was looking at you again and his tensioned eyes loosened slightly, a sudden wave of nerves washed over you at the realization of who you were currently having this conversation with.

“Did I hear you say you still liked me?” His voice was low and you felt his breath fan your face, his hand that wasn’t on your back was cupping the side of your face and making you look at him.

You were reminded of the way he held your chin at the party except this time it felt more gentle, his eyes soft and far more nervous than they had been that night.

“God, you’re an idiot.” You were shaking your head and smiling, the end of your word being cut off when he surged forward and pressed his lips hard against yours in his urgency.

Your hands on his chest started to ball up his shirt again, resisting a laugh at the force in which he kissed you, he mumbled an apology against your lips and you could feel him smiling as he cocked his head and kissed you again.

His hand had left your cheek, circling around your side to rest on your lower back with his other one as he, almost unconsciously, pulled you up and tighter against him as you rocked onto your tippy toes and back down.

Even when he pulled back to breathe, he kept you flush against him as he laid his forehead against yours and shut his eyes tight.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.”

[phan3145]

Title: Slippery Slope. Fandom: Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes. Rating: T. ( Cursing, intensity) Pairing: Eventual Noa x Human!Reader.

***NOTE: I’m not super pleased with this chapter, it very much is filler. I had a massive plot point happen originally, but I thought it would be too soon this far in. So, I wrote some Sunset Trio bonding in two hours this morning. I have chapters 6 and 7 (this original chapter) written for the future, but chapter 5 will take place directly following the end of this one before another time jump. Another point, we will (probably) not have another Noa POV until chapter 7. So, buckle up for that, and thank you to everyone who has followed me, and to all my readers!!!

Chapter 4: Shifted Plans

You

If someone would have told you years ago that three apes would soon turn into the closest thing you had to friends or family, you would have said that they were insane. Noa was no surprise, seeing as there was an early bond of trust formed between the two of you, but his Sunset Brother and Sunset Sister, as they called each other, came as quite a shock. Anaya had a very comedic and gentle nature, which you only witnessed Noa and Soona have on occasion. Most of those occasions you noticed, were when the trio were together. He brought it out in them, and even you had to admit, he brought it out in you too. For that you were grateful, you hadn’t felt things like that in a long time.

You believed it was that same playfulness in you, and the passage of time, that finally convinced Soona to drop her guard and trust you. You respected her from day one, appreciating that she apologized for attacking you, though you hadn’t even realized she did at the time. That conversation had been awkward, at least on your part, since you still had been terrified out of your wits. You had just wrapped your brain around the fact that you could trust Noa, when a flurry of fangs and limbs had lunged for you. To suddenly have two more apes appear on top of that, screeching and hollering, your entire body just shut down. You had covered your head and jugular out of instinct, but had been willing to accept that your death would be quicker if you didn’t fight back.

Thankfully, Anaya had been able to pull you out of that cocoon of fear you had wrapped yourself in. Although, his face being the first thing you saw had unnerved you, almost wanting to curl up again. It wasn’t as soft or as comforting as Noa’s had been, but Anaya’s eyes, though deep brown instead of green, as well as the small ape noises he made, expressed clearly that he had no intentions to harm you. It made sense in your brain, reason coming back to you as you watched him sit up…if they wanted to kill you they would have already. Blinking away tears, you had sat up with him, looking around you then to see Noa and Soona standing further away so as not to frighten you further.

Soona very much felt like the big sister of the group, and while they had explained they were born on the same day, Noa did confess that they were older than him. Her approval meant more to you when you saw the love and care he held for her. You wouldn’t force it though, and you did not initially intend to be adopted by the trio at all. On that day, introductions had been made, apologies were given, thanks were said once more for saving Noa, another tour of your home was given…excluding the exit burrow, and they had departed. As Noa predicted, Anaya followed behind them as they left, basket of grapes in hand as he feasted.

You hadn’t seen them for almost a week after that, and you hadn’t sought them out either. You felt unsure how to handle having a peace with them. You still moved carefully through the forest, not knowing if they had told the rest of their clan about your existence. Coming across them was one thing, but coming across other apes? Too dangerous.

Then, one sunny midday, you went to the creek to bathe, scoping out the area to find you were alone. The water had receded a few days after the dam broke, and nearly a full week later with only light rain, you deemed the water was clean enough to use. You clung to the edge of the bank, the water still very cold after hardly any sun over the past month. You rubbed and scrubbed quickly, not wanting to be exposed any longer than you needed to be. You had grabbed the scrap of fabric you used for a towel, which you assumed used to be a table cloth of some sort, drying yourself in record time. The baggy men’s shirt, which you had scrounged up during one of your journeys to the old vineyard, was thrown on quickly afterwards.

The fact it was intact had shocked you, so you only wore it on bathing day, appreciating the buttons that still functioned. Thanks to your run in with Noa, the pants you were used to having on bathing day were still dirty. The shirt was long enough though, dangling just a few inches above your knees, and with no one around it didn’t matter anyway. It was your own sense of modesty at that point, which would be damned in a life or death situation. Standing, you left the pants on a dry mound next to the water, ready to be rinsed in the creek once you had finished your routine. You still had to wash your hair…

This was the part you hated the most, checking around you as you made your way towards the rock you had used to save Noa. Just down the side of it, where a fifteen foot drop existed, was a water fall you utilized for washing your hair. You scaled the side, careful of your footing on the slippery rocks, taking a final scan of your surroundings. The sound of water drowned out everything, so once you closed your eyes you would be vulnerable to anything and everything.

You reached the small ledge that ran under the waterfall, sticking to just the edge, close enough to not be seen from the other side, but far enough away the harsh current wouldn’t topple your center of gravity. One last look…still nothing. Kneeling down, shoulders hunching as you leaned forward, you took a breath before shoving your head under the heavy spray. Your fingers desperately scrubbed at your scalp to remove the dirt and oil that you were able to with just water alone. How you wished you had learned how to make soap when your mother was alive, or at least written down the ingredients she used.

Your hair was getting too long again, knowing you would have to cut it soon. Long hair was a luxury you simply couldn’t afford anymore, especially in a situation like this. The longer the hair, the longer it took to wash like this, which was something you would avoid like a plague. Who were you trying to impress with long hair anyway? Just below your ears was enough for your vanity to still feel feminine.

Rushing now, you felt water force it’s way into your nose when you turned sideways too quickly, causing your lungs to constrict in an attempt to push the water out. You reared back, choking on a cough as you wrapped your hair up in your towel. Whatever you had done was good enough. Wheezing, feeling the water trying to suffocate your lungs, you chose to check your surroundings again, still seeing nothing. Only then did you let the burning in your lungs take precedent, allowing your coughing fit to rage. You rubbed at your throat and nose, trying to let any remaining water drain forward, tears flooding your vision.

After a minute or two, you caught your breath, contemplating how you had survived this long on your own. Sheer luck probably. Speaking of luck…the good thing about being alone is that no one was around to see you nearly drown yourself while washing your hair. You let out a small laugh at that, clearing your rough throat after. Rolling your shoulders you pushed from the ground, scaling the side of the rock once more. Going up was so much easier than coming down.

Thankfully, the hard part was over. Body was washed, hair was washed, and you could go back to your burrow once you washed your pants. That was the plan at least…until you popped your head over the top of the rock and saw three familiar faces up stream where you had previously been. Three familiar faces that were holding your pants. They looked concerned, their hands moving rapidly, though you couldn’t hear a word spoken amongst them.

Just as you contemplated what to do, you saw Anaya jerk his head upwards, straightening his spine to see over Noa’s shoulder. The two of you locked eyes and he immediately hooted and pointed in your direction. Noa turned and Soona leaned forward to see what Anaya was reacting to.

“Echo!” Anaya practically screeched as he ran towards you on all fours.

Shit shit shit shit shit.

You yanked the towel off your head, showing no concern for the few strands of hair that were plucked out with it. You hauled your body up the rest of the way onto the rock ledge, kneeling as you quickly tied the cloth around your waist in a makeshift skirt. Before you could push yourself into a standing position, Anaya skidded to a stop in front of you. You inhaled a breath, shocked by how quick he had reached you. You opened your mouth to greet him, but the ape was moving again before you could blink.

He raised himself up on two legs, starting to circle around you, touching you freely in what you initially thought was a greeting. His hands roamed so quickly over different parts of your body that by the time you tracked one movement he was doing something else. He touched your right arm, then your left shoulder, his other hand pushing your forehead with a finger in order to tilt your head back. Said fingers then began picking up strands of your wet hair and sniffing loudly.

You had just raised your arms up to protest his poking and prodding when his hands left your body all together. He turned then to call to Noa and Soona, “Echo is…alright…not hurt.”

Your face was frozen in stunned silence, slightly irritated but not quite sure how to react to his actions. Then Anaya turned back to you, smiling, “Hello Echo…you don’t smell…hard to track…found your…cloth by creek…Noa worried.”

“Anaya…was worried,” the previously mentioned ape arrived at your side along with Soona. You saw his hands move rapidly in graceful, fluid motions you didn’t understand. Your eyes narrowed in confusion, then you saw Anaya start making gestures of his own back to Noa. It clicked then, this must be their way of communicating without words, having a private argument…if Anaya’s more choppy but forceful gestures were any indication. Soona broke in momentarily, just as Noa had started to make his first sign. Hers were short, broken apart in space but resolute in her movements. There was no room for argument, watching her turn to Noa, seeing him nod a second later before she turned to Anaya.

Anaya’s head lowered to look at you before he nodded as well, turning to blow a raspberry at Noa. Noa’s shoulders seemed to roll as he turned to move, releasing a few disgruntled noises. He didn’t go far, just a few steps away to show his annoyance. Soona seemed to notice this as well, letting out a huff before crouching to be eye level with you. You leaned back then, eyes crossing slightly as you tried to hold her gaze.

“You are…not injured…can stand?” She asked.

“Oh, yes.” You answered, gripping the knot of the cloth around your waist. You slid a foot out in front of yourself to push up into a standing position, but had no time to bare down on it as you felt hands go under your arms.

“Anaya…help Echo…” Anaya offered. You stiffened as you were hoisted upwards, feeling very toddler like in that moment.

You saw Noa’s brow furrow, but he said nothing. Surprisingly, it was Soona that sighed through her nose and huffed at Anaya, “Echo…not ape…does not like…to be touched…all the time.”

Anaya turned to look at you, wanting confirmation. Your continued stiffness and sheepish look was enough for him to quickly let go of you. A surprised scoff noise escaped him then, raising both arms in the air to show his hands were off of you. “Did not know…will not do…again.”

You hummed good naturedly, gripping onto your makeshift skirt even tighter as you found your footing. “It’s alright, I appreciate the help Anaya, but I’ll ask for it in the future if I need it. Okay?”

“Okay!” Anaya hooted, giving a big thumbs up.

The action caught you off guard, something that seemed to be happening more often than not with the apes around. Where did he even learn that? Much like with Noa, you had no chance of fighting off the sputter you let out that soon morphed into laughter that shook your body. Anaya jumped in place at the sudden sound, and while Soona did not take a step away from you, she did tilt her body backwards.

Feeling slightly bad for laughing at Anaya, who clearly had no idea he had done something funny to begin with, you tamped down on the remaining chuckles. Both apes were looking at you like you had a second head, but then you caught Noa’s eye and saw the warmth in his green gaze. You almost thought you could see a curve to his lips, and maybe you were right, because then he started hooting, returning to the three of you and grasping Anaya’s shoulder.

“Why…sound…like that?” Soona asked you then.

You hesitated, not wanting to say the wrong thing and potentially offend any of the apes. Searching for the right words, you finally decided on, “Relief, joy…uh, happiness.”

“Cackle,” Noa supplied. You almost regretted telling him that word when he added, “Echo noise females make…like laugh but better.”

“Definitely…louder.” Anaya said, making the same gesture as before, watching your reaction. Even though you knew he wanted the response, it didn’t stop the whole thing from being funny. You didn’t ‘cackle,’ but you chuckled at the action. That was apparently enough for Anaya, who hooted, looking proud of himself as he swiveled his head from Soona to Noa.

Noa blew a raspberry at Anaya, pushing off his shoulder, “At least…Echo…thinks you are…amusing.”

Anaya dropped his hand then, scoffing as he bumped into Noa, “At least…Echo thinks…something about Anaya…Noa jealous.”

You thought for a moment that was more of a barb than it apparently was, watching the two apes playfully nudge and paw at one another. You side-eyed Soona next to you, who looked unimpressed with her Sunset Brothers, before she shifted to look solely at you. Your pants were clutched in her hand, now outstretched to you. You took them gratefully as the two apes next to you persisted with their back and forth. Soona’s eyes hadn’t left you, and you swallowed your nerves under her stare. You tried to break the tension, shrugging, “Males.”

A pause, you thought she didn’t understand, before she let out a huff, “Yes.”

Her hand nudged your back as she turned away from Noa and Anya, directing you to do the same, “We go…to creek now…leave the newborns…to their games.”

You felt something warm in your chest at that, a contented smile creeping up as you walked her back to your washing spot. A small glance at her eyes showed the mischievous nature she hadn’t displayed with you before, and she hooted under her breath as you walked away from said males who had no idea you were leaving.

A first step had been taken.

Further growth didn’t happen overnight though. You were a little over a month into knowing the apes now, and you were now spending almost everyday with them. It started out as a couple of days a week after that bathing day. It was always the three of them together at that point, before it slowly became an every other day visit. That’s when you noticed some days it would be Noa and Anaya, or Soona and Noa, and then on occasion it was just Noa. The trust he mentioned on that first day was starting to make sense now, as you felt that maybe the other two apes were always there so early on because they didn’t fully trust you yet.

It always started with the creek, a common enough place to find you since you weren’t hiding from them anymore. You always needed to do laundry, get clean water, or fish for the protein your body so desperately needed. From there, the group would discuss plans for the day, or upcoming ceremonies the clan would hold. You made sure to note the when and where of those to avoid the areas that day. Oddly enough, it was only partly for your safety. Mainly, you just didn’t want to get in the way.

Sometimes their plans for the day would get taken over by yours; following you to pick fruit, helping you craft tools from wood or stone, or even go hunting with you. Usually it was for rabbit or squirrel, seeing as you wouldn’t know what to do with a deer even if you had the heart to kill one. Then came the shock of discovering that the apes did occasionally hunt deer and other wild animals too, not just fish. The idea of evolution started to make more sense as you saw the large gap between the species dwindle the more you spent time with them.

Today however, your plans shifted to theirs as the apes discussed traveling on a ‘Caesar Journey,’ as they called it, for lost information. You had been working on a new spear head when they started loudly discussing whether they should leave today or tomorrow. Anaya and Noa both agreed that it was early enough to leave today. Only Soona seemed to have reservations, vague though they were, regarding ‘many unforeseen delays’ that could take place. You had asked where they were going and Anaya had told you they called it the Valley Beyond. It sounded ominous, but when Noa described the path to get there you realized it was an old city.

When you traveled with your mother, you had passed by during the cover of night, staying on the edges of it before settling here. You had not remembered where it had been, only how tired you were as you trailed behind her. After several years of living on this side of the creek, safe in the forest or in your burrow, you hadn’t thought about it since. You only traveled to the vineyard because your mother had taken you there, being on your own meant you didn’t explore as much.

You were shocked when you found yourself asking if you could go as well, even more so when they agreed.

That’s how you now found yourself astride a horse. You had only ridden one once before, blocking out the subsequent memory of it bucking you several times. You eventually had enough, wrapping its luxurious mane around your hand and wrist, determined that if it bucked you again it would be missing some hair for the trouble. It tried, but soon realized it would do more harm than good. When you had reached your settlement you had told your friends and father you would never ride again after all of that.

Looks like fate had a sense of humor, as this horse looked dangerously similar to the one you had ridden all those years ago. Impossible, but it had made you simmer in irritation when Noa first told you that you would be riding with him on his horse. You would have preferred to ride with Soona, or even Anaya, but all agreed that Noa’s horse would be best, something about being familiar with Echo and ape riders. You didn’t really want to know what that meant.

You were surprised that the apes didn’t walk everywhere, but seeing as this journey would be an hour or so on horseback, and time seemed of the essence, it made sense. You had brought a spear with you, which Noa had slung onto his saddle bag, and satchel full of fruit for later. You didn’t have much time to prep before you were on your way, and now you wondered if you should have brought the dagger that you kept under your pillow. You hardly ever used it, but it was a good source of protection and could have come in handy. Then again, the less weapons around the apes, the better. Besides, it probably wouldn’t be a good idea to get that close to anything dangerous anyway.

Speaking of danger, the three horses that composed your group suddenly approached a tunnel, one that went so far into the mountain that you couldn’t see the light on the other end. There was only darkness. You swallowed, Noa taking the lead and going in first. He kicked his heels slightly, urging the horse to pick up the pace. It did as he instructed, shifting from a peaceful walk into a trot.

You slowly straightened in your seat, leaning back to stay within the light for as long as you could, so much so that you soon found your back flush with Noa’s chest. He didn’t comment or react to you, not that you would notice if he did. Once you were completely submerged in darkness there was nothing you could see, whether your eyes were opened or closed. No way to see danger right in front of you…and that thought caused the hairs on your arms to raise, your heart to skip a beat or two. You took a deep breath then, reminding yourself that you didn’t have to be afraid of what was in the dark…your friends were here. Noa was quite literally at your back this very moment.

You decided to close your eyes, to focus on the things you could that didn’t require your eyes. The sound of hooves was the first thing you noticed outside of the pitch darkness, the echoing sound of Soona and Anaya’s horses following close behind. Your heart had calmed and your breathing was steady, similar to the rise and fall you felt of Noa’s chest. The chill of the underground made itself known then, an almost damp cold clinging onto your arms and shoulders. Though you were no longer scared, the skin on your arms pebbled, the hair there already raised from earlier.

It became that much more noticeable when you felt Noa’s arms shift around you, readjusting his hold on the reigns. Heat was radiating from his arms, his whole body actually. The cold threatening to seep into your bones was more prominent, but also held at bay thanks to Noa’s warmth around you. Apes ran warmer than humans didn’t they? Or, was that just the outer layer of their fur?

It was nice.

Before you could think on it too much, you noticed light brightening the backs of your eyelids, prompting you to open them. And just like that, you were out. You released a sigh of relief, sitting up and away from Noa now that you felt safe again. He was kind enough not to mention you clinging to him for comfort as you continued onward. It was probably best that you did not take advantage of his generosity though, making vow to yourself not to do that on the way back.

You almost wished Noa had said something about it though, because with the exception of an occasional joke from Anaya, the ride had been pretty silent. You tried not to dwell on it, normally comfortable in silence, but with that dark tunnel just now, and Noa so close behind you…sitting so long in silence, you weren’t quite able to shake the unease of it all. As if sensing your feelings, Noa decided then to break it, “You ride well.”

You smirked, not quite what you thought he would say, but it was a good way to break the ice. You decide on teasing him to lighten the mood, “Says the ape who wouldn’t let me ride on another horse.”

“You want to ride horse…on your own?” He chuffed.

“Absolutely not!” You were quick to answer. Craning your neck back, almost touching his shoulder again, you explained, “Soona and Anaya are smaller than you, it would probably be easier for one of their horses to carry two riders.”

“Horse makes no difference,” he shrugged, scanning our surroundings. “You are small…easy to fit anywhere.”

No, you were not, you were only slightly shorter than Anaya when he stood on two legs. Again, you reminded yourself, by ape standards you probably were. You didn’t have nearly as much muscle as them, thinking back to when it had taken everything in you to haul Noa up from the creek, but he had lifted you like it was nothing.

You turned your head then, eyebrows scrunching together, “Then why did it have to be your horse?”

Noa smirked, “Easier to keep an eye…on you…if you are in front of me…and easier to make sure…you don’t fall off.”

“Get bucked off, you mean,” you muttered.

“Ape horses…do not buck riders…unless they are afraid,” Noa explained. “Easy to fall off…if you do not know…how to ride.”

You spread your hands out in front of you, “I’m riding just fine, aren’t I ?”

If God was real, he sure had a sense of humor, for in that next moment the horse took off in a gallop. You gasped, looking down as your hand desperately held onto the pommel in front of you. You felt your body start to bounce, fearing you were about to slide right off on a certain bounce. Noa’s arms tightened around you then, grunting, “Rock your hips…”

“What?” You asked, tensing up as another bounce threatened to send you off the left side of the saddle. Only Noa’s quick reflexes, strength, and balance kept that from happening.

“Widen your hips…rock with the motion.” Noa instructed, right hand going under your chin to tilt your head back up, “Look straight ahead…chest up…lean back with the jump…I have you.”

You did as he instructed, feeling more stable until you played back his last instruction. “Wait-wait… jump? What jump? Why are we jumping?”

Noa’s eyes were fixed ahead and that’s when you saw it. At the edge of the city, an abandoned barricade. That was the jump, though your first instinct told you there had to be a way around it, the longer you stared the clearer the picture became. A large pond on one side, a collapsed building on the other…stretching for who knows how long. Jump. There was no other option.

You turned then, noticing Soona and Anaya’s horses were also already in a full galloped sprint. You locked eyes with Soona, who looked just as worried as you felt. She turned to Anaya next to her, making a sign they hadn’t showed you before. Anaya looked up to you then, signing the word Trust at you before letting out several shrieks that sounded like a war cry. They knew what was coming up ahead. You felt your breath stutter as you turned back around, replaying Noa’s words over and over in your mind. You could see the barricade approaching and a count down began in your head.

5…Widen your hips…

4…Head up, look straight ahead….

3…Chest up…

2…Lean back with the jump…

You felt Noa’s right arm relinquish the reigns to wrap firmly around your middle, securing you in place and pulling you to be flush with his chest once more.

1…I have you…

You felt the horse bare down, all its weight on four legs, thrusting itself forward off the ground. Then you were simply suspended in the air. Time seemed to stop, and you wondered if the horse would clear the jump. Similar to that of a deer, you thought perhaps it leapt too early, but as its front half made it over you felt reassured. Then you felt the slight pull of Noa to angle your body back. You listened, the entire movement completed in one fluid motion as the descent forward concluded. The next thing you heard was it’s hooves hit the ground, continuing on in a gallop before slowing back to a trot.

You released the breath you didn’t realize you had been holding, panting in Noa’s grip. His hand slid upwards from your middle to tap at your clavicle, “Breathe…you did well…still on horse.”

You looked down, knuckles white on the pommel. You pried them off, not too proud to note the slight tremor. Then Soona and Anaya were joining you to create a row of three, with you and Noa being flanked on each side.

Soona hooted, “Were…you scared?”

“Of course not,” you replied. “I always nearly faint when I’m having a good time!”

All three apes hooted and chuffed their amusement before continuing on. The branches and dirt of the forest had transitioned to asphalt road, making each step the horses took seem twice as loud. You continued down several streets before you finally had the nerve to ask, “What are we looking for?”

“Human work…anything from Caesar’s time.” Noa replied.

Human work? That didn’t make any sense to you, but it was their Caesar Journey. You decided saying silent was the best thing to do. They would let you know when they were going to stop. In the meantime, you decided to try and decipher the ruins of these old buildings, attempting to figure out what they used to be.

A lot of empty panes and broken glass more often then not confirmed it used to be a business. Maybe a bank, or a law firm. Something boring like that. Other places that had faded color reminded you of food or clothing stores. You could make out a few vowels on the signs but didn’t recognize anything specific from any of the photos or old videos you had seen back in the vault as a child.

A sound far off in the distance to your left caught your attention, but you saw nothing there. None of your ape companions reacted, so perhaps it was just your imagination. That’s when you noticed a building unlike any you had seen thus far. It was made of white stone, with an old engraving at the top in gold that had faded over time. Three letters caught your attention, barely able to make them out…but it was enough. You knew exactly what it was.

“Noa, stop! Stop!” You called, twisting in the direction of the road you had just passed, attempting to dismount.

Soona and Anaya’s horses startled but were quickly reigned in by their riders. Noa had a harder time with you as you squirmed, wanting to get down against his wishes. Finally he called out in a huff, “We’ve stopped, stop…will help you down but cannot if…you fall first.”

With a graceful glide to the ground, Noa landed, turning and offering his arms to you. Soona and Anaya dismounted as well, wanting to see what it is that had you so enraptured. It took you a moment to swing your other leg to one side, but once you did you felt ready. Noa allowed you to brace yourself on his shoulders as you dismounted.

Whoa.

Your first step felt weird, causing you to sway slightly. Your legs still felt bowed wide for some reason. Soona covered her face, which you imagined was her nice way of not laughing at you. Anaya had no such reservations, hooting and pointing as he called out, “First time rider wobble.”

You snickered, bending your knees a few times to re-center yourself. Noa huffed good naturedly, “Will get used to it…happens to everyone…first time.”

“Right,” you said, unsure, looking down at your feet. Then you remembered what had caught your attention, and as you took a few more steps towards it, your suspicions were confirmed. “I think this might interest you. This would be classified as human work.”

“What is it?” Soona asked, seeing what you were so focused on.

You smiled, “It’s a library.”

[hannyoontify]

[20:27] you restlessly tapped your fingers on the handle of your suitcase, looking around the vast, quiet hotel lobby. there was a handful of people, some lounging in the waiting area while others were aggressively tapping on their phones while looking around urgently. you could pick up on a few unintelligible mutters in german and you checked on your watch, for what seemed to be the 100th time that evening.

the hotel you were staying in was placed on the edge of a cliff that overlooked berlin, and while you were looking around, you caught a glimpse of the berlin night sky that was aglow with bright city lights. peering out the window, you found yourself wondering where jeonghan would be in the midst of the restless city.

you had flown out to berlin only shortly after he had–originally to surprise him for your upcoming 3 year anniversary–but after hearing about his delayed flight and the possibility of him being late to the show, you cancelled all reservations and planned on pampering jeonghan with all the love and affection you could physically muster out of your body.

while you were deep in thought, jeonghan pulled up to the hotel with the rest of his staff, exhausted from a long day of photoshoots and interviews. he was still dressed up, with the exception of the black heeled boots being replaced with his white, fluffy bunny slippers (ones that he brought from home–a matching couple gift from you).

when he stepped into the hotel lobby, the last person jeonghan was expecting to see was you, your pretty lips pulled into a small smile while you stared off into space. you looked up and jeonghan could see your eyes brighten as you yelled his name with a bright smile.

before jeonghan's brain could properly process what his tired, jet lagged body was doing, he dropped his duffel bag on the floor and threw himself into your open arms.

'you're here..' he mumbled into the fabric of your clothing. inhaling the scent of your fabric softener, the tension in jeonghan's body seemed to naturally dissipate. 'you're here, you're actually here'

your hand reached out to pat his head. 'of course i'm here, silly. did you think i would be on the other side of the world for our 3 year anniversary?'

jeonghan felt his stomach, heart, and the rest of his internal organs drop past his feet, into the deepest, darkest pits of hell. he pulled away from the hug and looked at you blown, panicked eyes.

'[name], love, i don't know if i can-'

you smiled and pressed a gentle kiss to his soft lips. 'don't worry about it. we're spending our 3 year anniversary in your hotel room, drinking flutes of sparkly champagne and building legos. i brought a couple sets and we can always order more'

'did i ever tell you that you're the best thing that's ever happened to me?'

a/n : i honestly wanted to write more but i thought it was getting a little out of hand so i stopped here hehe i wanted to write this after hearing abt his delayed flights and his sweet messages on weverse telling carats not to worry and he seemed super nonchalant about the entire thing so i wasn't too worried but i had this lingering thought/worry about how exhausted he probably is, waiting at the airport for 13 hours while his flights kept getting delayed so this was kinda self indulgent in a way where i comfort myself by comforting him 🥲 HOPE YOU GUYS ENJOYED YSL BERLIN JEONGHAN TOOK MY LIVING BREATH AWAY HE'S SO GORGEOUS I'M IN LOVEEEE

[danikamariewrites]

Nessian x reader

A/n: This is my first commission piece! I'm so happy with how this turned out. Thank you @dreamlandreader I'm so happy you like it 😊

Word Count: 3,223 words

Warnings: Angst, self doubt, fluff

Joining the Night Court as an emissary for the Winter Court has been a dream come true. Besides your home, Winter was your favorite place in all of Prythian. Their politics and history fascinated you, making you work your ass off in school so you could be the best of the best at court relations.

Feyre and Mor had been the ones that found you. Originally you were working for the governor of the Palace of Bone and Salt. The fact that you were being under utilized made Feyre pay you a visit, delivering a much better job offer.

Since you started you finally got your own apartment in a nicer part of the city, and you have been much happier going to work. Yes, it’s a bigger work load but you love keeping busy.

You also adored the Inner Circle. The High Lord and his family embraced you, not hesitating to treat you as one of their own. Especially Nesta.

The two of you clicked right away, becoming instant best friends. And of course she’s a package deal with Cassian.

You couldn’t deny your attraction to them as the months went on. Nesta had invited you to train with the Valkyries after working for the court for only two weeks, where you became very close. The small touches as she adjusted your stance mixed with Cassian’s praise never failed to make your face heat. It was odd, having a crush on a mated couple.

Finally, after a year of casual hangouts and staying late at the House of Wind enjoying their company, Nesta asked you out to dinner. “Nothing super fancy, unless you want fancy then we can go somewhere really nice or we can-” You cut off Nesta’s rambling by taking her hands in yours. “Anywhere you want to go, I’ll be happy Nes.”

Her smile brightened after that. Before leaving you to go make plans she bent down and softly kissed your cheek, whispering, “Until tonight.”

Seven o’clock came faster than you anticipated. Nesta knocked on your bedroom door just as you were putting the last clip in your hair. Opening the door you found a radiant looking Nesta. She was wearing a beautiful long black velvet gown. A slit up the skirt that showed off her toned thigh and a wide strap that hung off her shoulder.

“Wow,” You gasped out. You swear you saw Nesta blush as she quickly looked down. As she looks back at you her eyes roam your body. Drinking in every single one of your features. “You look stunning.” She whispers out, holding her arm out for you to link with hers. Taking it with a wide smile, she leads you down the hall and out your apartment.

Once you’re taken to your spot in the middle of the restaraunt Nesta pulls out your chair for you, pushing you close to the linen covered table. “Thank you.” You said sweetly, smiling up at her. She leans down to place a kiss on your forehead before taking her own seat. The kiss made your cheeks turn pink. It felt different than the one Nesta placed on your cheek earlier today. You could tell this one was meant to be felt. To be full of warmth and convey care.

Three courses and a very expensive bottle of wine later, you and Nesta were full and giggly. As your laughter died down she braced her forearms on the table, leaning closer to you. A giddy smile pulling at your lips you copy her. Your noses almost touching. “I have something to confess.” Nesta says coyly. You tilt your head at her unusual tone. “What is it Nes?”

Your heart was racing. Hoping for a confession of love from her. It was so wrong of you to hope that. Cassian was your friend too. You didn’t want to drive a wedge between them or the rest of the Inner Circle. At the same time you were wishing for Cassian as well. Wishing it was the both of them confessing their love for you. But he isn’t here, Nesta is. Maybe he doesn’t care about you as much as you thought.

You thought you were close with him. You shared jokes, would be board game partners, and even dragged him shopping with you. Cass pretended to hate it but liked spending time with you. Or so you thought.

“Meeting you has been an unexpected joy y/n. Getting to know you, having fun with you, and spending with you has just…I can’t think of a word to describe it, there isn’t one perfect enough.” You felt tears forming behind your eyes as a lump settled in your throat. No one had ever been this happy being with you. Not even your last boyfriend treated you with such kindness.

“I’m so happy I met you too Nesta. You and Cass and the rest of the family have been so kind to me.” Nesta closes the distance between your hands, lightly playing with your fingers. She looked hesitant to speak again. “I want to be honest with you, y/n. Cassian and I care about you. Not in a just friends way…”

Your eyes widen in shock and hope.You open your mouth to speak but the words get caught in your throat. “I-I care, I feel the same way.” Nesta lets out a happy sigh of relief and visibly deflates back into her chair while staying attached to you.

“We want you y/n. If you’ll have us.” You nod vigorously. “Yes. Yes, I really do.” You can’t stop smiling at her the whole walk home. Nesta holds your hand as you swing them back and forth.

Finally back at your apartment door, you frown a little, not wanting this sweet evening with Nesta to end. Looking between your new girlfriend and your door you let out a sigh. “Tomorrow morning Cass and I want you to come over for breakfast. We can talk more about things.” Nesta brushes a loose strand of hair behind your ear, coming down to lightly trace your jaw. You nod, giving her a small, “ok.”

Unlocking your door you turn back to face Nesta. Looking up at her your eyes land on her full lips. “Nes?” “Yeah baby?” Pink slightly tints your cheeks at the pet name. “Can I kiss you?” Your voice barley above a whisper.

Nesta smiles and brings her hands up to cup your face. They feel soft against your skin. Leaning up to meet her you feel a spark as your lips touch. Your mouths move against each other in an elegant dance. The kiss full of warmth like the one she placed on your forehead earlier that night. For the first time in a long time, you feel genuine love flood your body. She’s holding you like you’re going to slip away and she won’t let that happen.

Your hands find home on her hips, pulling Nesta closer to you. In that moment, you decided you wanted to feel this love for the rest of your immortal life. And if you felt this way with just Nesta, how would you feel when Cassian started showing you love?

Would he though? He didn’t come to dinner tonight.

The kiss slowed until you two were just resting your lips against each other. Your breaths heavy as you pulled apart. “Goodnight baby.” Nesta gave you one last parting kiss before leaving you.

The next morning you donned an adorable cherry pink dress, practically skipping through Velaris on your way to the House of Wind. As you approached the outskirts of Nesta and Cassian’s home you spotted him waiting for you as he always did.

Cassian was wearing a wide grin as you approached. He scooped you up into his strong arms, spinning you around. Pulling back to look in your eyes, he held you firmly. “Hi sweetheart.” “Hi Cass.” you say sweetly, wrapping your arms around his neck to prepare for the flight up.

Cassian softly took off from the old cobblestone street, the beating of his leathery wings soothing your nerves as he climbed higher and higher.

Landing on the balcony of the living room he gently sets you down, grasping your hand. “How did you sleep last night?” He asks casually, leading you towards the informal dining room. “Fine. I had some excitement keeping me up.” He lets out a breathy chuckle and kisses the top of your head. “I can only imagine.”

As you walked with him you couldn’t help the tight feeling forming in your chest. Over thinking, like you partially did last night, as you wondered if Cassian really wanted you with them.

You couldn’t help it. You knew Cassian loved you as a friend, but his love for Nesta is like nothing you have ever seen before. You didn’t know if he would like bringing another person into their mated relationship. It took Cassian so long to win Nesta’s trust and heart. Would he want to let another share that?

Entering the kitchen you saw Nesta laying out plates of food on the table. Muffins, croissants, fruit, breakfast meats, and pancakes. Cassian pulls your chair out for you, like Nesta did last night. He pushes you in and takes the seat next to you.

Nesta sits across from you with a sweet smile on her lips. “Hi baby,” she takes your hand, bringing it to her lips. “Please dig in.”

Scooping food onto your plate the three of you fall into easy conversation. After a while you fall into a lull, unsure what to talk about besides the obvious.

Clearing your throat, you decide to start. “So…Nesta and I talked last night.” The pair perked up, making slight eye contact. “And I want to be with you guys.” They let out a sigh of relief and Cassin rested an arm on the back of your chair, smiling down at you. “But, I have a few questions.” Nesta nods. “Ask whatever you want, we’ll answer it.”

You turn to Cassian, a small pout on your lips and a sliver of worry in your eye. “Why didn’t you come to dinner last night?” He lets out a shaky sigh. Like he’s nervous to say anything to you. “We thought if it was just one of us, you’d be less intimidated by the thought of a relationship.” You slowly nod, letting his response seep in. “And you don’t mind this Cass? I don’t want to be a burden or cause problems for the two of you. I just-” Cassian tilts your face up by your chin with two of his thick fingers. A doting look on his features.

“Sweetheart. You have nothing to worry your pretty little head about. Rest assured, we both want you as much as you want us.” His thumb rubs against your chin. You felt relief knowing your anxiety was all for nothing.

…

Weeks have passed since your relationship started with Cassian and Nesta. It started out…chaotic to say the least. The three of you wanted time together but work picked up for all three of you. It was a busy time of year with the holidays right around the corner.

It also didn’t help that Cassian was away in Windhaven for a few days every week. It had just been you and Nesta at your apartment or the Town House.

Cassian being away made that doubt about how much they actually wanted you creep in again. You love your time with Nesta but you craved time with both of them. To just sit with them and bask in their attention. Maybe it was a mistake being with a mated couple.

On the last night of Cassian being away Nesta slept over at your apartment. You opted to sleep on your side rather than in the middle of the bed cuddled up with her like you usually would. You were too tense, lost in your thoughts and didn’t want Nesta to worry. Though she probably sensed it.

As Nesta laid down you curled in on yourself, trying to get further from her. This didn’t go unnoticed as she huffed at your movement. Sitting up, Nesta turns the lamp on on the bedside table, the dim yellow light illuminating her profile. She grabbed your shoulder and turned you to face her.

“Talk to me y/n.” Nesta pleaded with you. Taking a deep breath, you sit up, bringing your knees to your chest. Nesta rests a comforting hand on your arm, her thumb rubbing small circles on your skin. Worry glinting in her steel-blue eyes. You lay a hand over hers, giving it a comforting squeeze.

“Does Cassian like me?” Her face contorts into confusion. “Baby of course he does, he loves you. Why wouldn’t he?” You shrug, unable to meet her gaze in fear of bursting out into tears. “I just-I feel like he doesn’t want to spend time with me. I know work has been crazy but there’s a part of me that doubts…everything.”

When you look up at Nesta a single tear falls down her cheek. She shuffled closer to you, throwing her arms around your neck, pulling you flush to her chest. A few tears escape your own eyes. “I’m sorry baby. I’ll talk to him or we can all talk when he gets home.” You nod against her.

Cassian arrived home late the next afternoon. Wearing that wide goofy grin on his face as he came through the door of the Town House, embracing you both.

Back at the House of Wind later that night, you and Nesta lounge in the living room as Cassian makes dinner in the kitchen.

Sitting down at the table together Cassian tells you about his trip to Windhaven. It takes all of you not to interrupt him and blurt out, ‘DO YOU LOVE ME!’ But you hold your tongue as you push your vegetables around your plate. You don’t have much of an appetite anyways.

Cassian’s booming laugh pulls you from your thoughts. Out of the corner of your eye you see Nesta quickly glance at you. Looking up at Cassian you give him a small smile that he returns. “Sweetheart, I was wondering if you wanted to go out, just me and you.” You sit up straighter, surprise taking over your features. “Really?”

“Yes,” He laughed out, “Nes gets you all the time and I want you to myself for a bit.” You look to Nesta, as if asking for permission. She gives you an encouraging nod. “Ok. Can we go out tomorrow night?” “Absolutley.” Cassian brings a hand to the back of your head, placing a chaste kiss on your head.

Nesta helps you get ready for date night. Finishing up your make-up she lets out a dreamy sigh, “You look so pretty y/n/n.” She moves behind you to make sure your hair is perfect. “I’m excited to have the house to myself. Not that I don’t love having you two around but sometimes I just want to get lost in my book.” She giggles to help lighten the mood, making you giggle too. Nesta meets your y/e/c eyes in the mirror. She gives you a loving smile, draping your hair over your shoulders. “Ready?” “Uh-huh.”

Heading down the grand staircase you see Cassian waiting for you at the bottom with a bouquet of your favorite pink roses. Cassian watches you with a love sick grin as descend the last few steps. “You look stunning.” A slight blush dusts your cheeks as you look up at him. Cassian hands you the bouquet. You sniff them, taking in their sweet scent before placing them in the vase on the entry way the table the house put out for you.

You were surprised that you weren’t nervous during dinner. You and Cassian had fun joking and flirting like normal. He was extra touchy with you, never letting go of your hand an dpractically pulling you onto his lap at times. Cassian made sure he gave you his undivided attention throughout dinner.

Hand-in-hand, you take a walk along the Sidra, admiring the stars. “Lets sit for a minute sweetheart.” Cassian places a hand on the small of your back, guiding you to the nearest stone bench. Sitting, Cassian holds your hands in his lap.

“I wanted to talk about us.” You swallowed nervously at his words. “Nesta talked to me. And I’m sorry that you’ve kept that pent up for so long. I love you very much y/n. I’m so sorry if I haven’t shown you that. I promise that I will show you how much I love you for the rest of our lives.”

You grip his hands tighter in yours. Letting their warmth seep into you. Cassian’s hands are rough and battle worn. Yet so gentle with you, like Nesta’s. You feel safe with him. From the look in his eyes you know he meant every word. That it pained him you didn’t feel loved by him.

“I love you too Cassian.” You leaned your head against his shoulder. The two of you sat like that for a while, watching the stars shimmer.

…

It’s been almost a year since you started dating Nesta and Cassian and you couldn’t be happier. The three of you fell into a comfortabel routine. You always made time for each other, had regular date nights, and made sure time with family was balanced out as well as one-on-one time. And thanks to Nesta and Cassian’s endless begging you broke and moved into the House of Wind.

You placed down the last snack bowls, stepping back you admire the setup. Tonight was a night for just the three of you. It was rare you all got to relax and you were happy to see them let their guard down. To put away the mask of the General and Valkyrie.

You hung small fae lights, laid out extra blankets and pillows, set out snacks, and everything you will need for face masks. The front door shut as Cassian and Nesta’s voices floated up to you from the entry way. Approaching the living room they paused in the archway.

“Do you like it?” You ask, clasping your hands under your chin. Nesta rushed over to you, pulling you into a crushing hug. “It’s perfect.” She mumbled into your hair. You relax into her as Nesta hugs you tighter than you thought possible. “Missed you today.” “I missed you too Nesa.”

She broke away, pressing a quick kiss to your lips. “I’ll be back, I’m going to change. Are you coming with me Cass?” You both look to him. Cassian is casually leaned against the door frame as he shakes his head. “Nah, I’m just going to chill in my underwear.” Before the two of you can protest he strips in the middle of the living room. “Will you take my leathers to our room?” He asks with a shit eating grin.

Nesta rolls her eyes at him, playfully slapping his shoulder. “Fine. But don’t start without me.” she calls over her shoulder. Cassian rushes at you picking you up, and flopping on the couch with you against his chest. You giggle and snuggle into his muscular chest. “Missed you today sweetheart.” “Missed you too Cass.”

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for editing my friends cover letter and then telling him I wouldn’t give him my employee number for a referral if he used the cover letter he wrote? (Emojis to find this whenever it posts)

✍️🧠

For some context… I work for a HUGE university that is extremely hard to get a job at. I have friends in HR here now and they said pretty much every job posting (and the postings are pretty sparse) gets a minimum of 250-300 applications. I got extremely lucky securing my job and truly do not take that for granted. And now that I’m an “insider” I have the ability to make referrals for my friends so that they can at least get an interview and hopefully a job here too and hop on the good pay and excellent benefits train especially since we’re all coming up on 26, therefore, we are all losing our health insurance (yay America).

So, one of my friends finished his masters degree recently and was looking for jobs in my area and saw something at my place of employment he was interested in. I told him I would be more than happy to look over his cover letter and resume before he submitted his application because I know what they look for in those. He said if there was any major changes he would pay me for edits too. I agreed because why not help my friend out. Give him a shot at this place.

And as much as I hate to say it… his cover letter was just… bad. It was so bad I reread it a good 5 times before I was fully able to comprehend just how bad it was. I had to go for a walk around the block to collect my thoughts on it. It literally made me question how he got a masters degree if I am being completely frank. It was also just so atrocious I offered to edit it for free because I felt so bad.

I don’t want to give specifics but think, half a paragraph on things he explicitly states that he has not done and will never do in his masters program, saying “folks” instead of colleagues (which is fine in conversation but like. Not for a cover letter ya know?), talked more about his experience in retail than he did his actual masters program, and just so so so much more.

So to just give him as fair of a shot as I could, I asked him for his thesis and service work that he did in his program, and asked permission to pretty much start from scratch on his cover letter. He excitedly agreed and told me to “go to town and do what you have to” and said “you know better than me what they’re looking for” and once I returned the final product to him he wasn’t exactly enthusiastic about the amount of jargon I inserted and the amount of changes I made to his “flare”. I had my friend in HR at the specific department I work at read it over and he said it was spectacular and he would interview someone with the cover letter in a heartbeat. I told my friend that and he still felt like I “robbed it of his personality.” I told him he’s welcome to edit it however he wants but my friends in HR said it was really strong how I wrote it and I would highly recommend not making any changes before he applies if he wants to get an interview and told him to just think on it for a bit before throwing in his application.

He didn’t respond for a couple of days and then called me out of the blue and told me he was working on his application now, was planning on using his original cover letter unedited, and needed my ID number for the referral. And I said… no. I am super super lucky to have my job and as jobs here are in such high demand I was scared to stick my neck out for him because I felt it might stain my reputation and reflect poorly on me. And he yelled at me and accused me I was being selfish and uppity about my job and that I needed to just give him the number because “if doesn’t matter anyway”. I tried to explain to him that any referral an employee makes gets added to their file regardless if the person got hired or not.

I did not want to stand by his original cover letter because I felt like it would’ve knocked him out of the running LONG before the interviews would’ve even started getting scheduled. I also feel it is important to add, I never told him his cover letter was garbage. I just told him it needed some work/jargon/fine tuning to the job description. I would never EVER say something like that to someone because I would never want to hurt someone’s feelings

I feel horrible. I didn’t want him to be hurt by the advice and changes I was making but I am in a very interesting and delicate position with my job in that I am one of like 5 people in any kind of administrative role at the entire institution that doesn’t have a bachelors degree. I secured my job because I worked as a temporary assistant for a few months and they loved me so much they made an exception to hire me in fully. I am deeply loved in my department and I truly love my job with all of my heart. It is wonderful and incredibly rewarding to do the work that I do so I really do not want to fuck this up for myself. I have had other friends apply and get jobs here with a little guidance and they love it too. I absolutely want that for my friend I was trying to help. I truly do. But he was not willing to take my advice and I just couldn’t risk sticking my neck out for him. So… AITA?

TL/DR: I work for a hard to get into place. Spent a lot of time fixing my friends app bc he writes like a 14 year old despite having a masters degree. He said he was using his shitty cover letter and asked for my referral number anyway and I told him no it’s not gonna happen because I can’t afford to stick my neck out like that since I got my job in a non traditional way leaving me a bit more vulnerable than most. I never explicitly told him “your cover letter is garbage” because I didn’t want to make him feel bad but warned him it would most likely not make it to the interviews and the one that I wrote him was applauded by my friends who work in HR.

What are these acronyms?

[ottawacharge]

Jessie Fleming interview: Adapting to the Thorns, her Chelsea exit and pushing for environmental change

Jessy Parker Humphreys, Wednesday, July 24th

Ask Jessie Fleming what topics interest her about the environment and she will start reeling them off.

“Urban planning, the power of funghi, regenerative agriculture, Dan Barber…”

Barber is an American chef who advocates for farm-to-table cooking, in case you are not as looped into the environmental ethics of food as Fleming.

“I started taking courses on environmental science for fun at university and I got down this rabbit hole,” she explains. Fleming ended up minoring in the subject at university in Los Angeles and has been committed to raising awareness about issues with our environment ever since.

This latest pledge comes off the back of her choice to donate the carbon cost of her long-haul flight to the 2023 Women’s World Cup in Australia and New Zealand as part of a 47-player initiative through Common Goal, a charitable movement launched by Spain international Juan Mata six years ago.

Fleming left Women’s Super League (WSL) champions Chelsea in January, going from a league in England where players travel to games by train or coach to one where they can fly thousands of miles across the country every weekend, such is the geographical spread of the 14 teams.

“It’s something I think about a lot,” she says. “As players, we have a responsibility to draw attention to those problems and suggest ways leagues and governing bodies can adjust the format of tournaments or the schedule of leagues to help reduce those footprints.

“We’re all hypocritical in a way, so we need to at least do something.”

There was a feeling around Fleming’s mid-season departure from Chelsea that she had never quite lived up to her potential. Arriving in summer 2020 fresh out of the U.S. college game at UCLA, her stock was very high, having originally made her senior debut for Canada aged only 15.

Yet she never nailed down a starting spot, despite featuring 111 times across four seasons and being trusted by manager Emma Hayes to start crucial matches such as the 2022-23 Champions League semi-final second leg against Barcelona at Camp Nou.

“I loved my time at Chelsea, loved the league, loved England. I just wanted to be in a place where I was consistently playing in the same position and playing more consistent minutes.”

Fleming has certainly got that with Portland, where she has started 13 of their 15 matches so far this season, but the return to the U.S. has been an adjustment. Portland had their worst start to an NWSL season, failing to win any of their first four games and consequently sacking manager Mike Norris. A six-game winning run followed, but with only one victory in the past four league fixtures, it is clear they are still finding their feet as a team.

Those ups and downs are a unique experience for Fleming, who lost only one more league match in three-and-a-half years with Chelsea than she has in six months in Portland.

“It’s definitely a different challenge,” she says. “Physically, it’s more intense (in the NWSL). More transitional, lots of athletic players. But you’re starting to see the effect of European coaches in the league. There are more teams trying to play possession-based, thoughtful football. I’ve never seen anything like how competitive the NWSL is, especially when you look at the teams at the top of the table who had poor seasons last year. That’s not something you would ever see in the WSL.

“The start of the season was especially difficult for us, because we had so many new players. We spent so little time together before the first game — that was a challenge I’d never experienced before. I think we’re feeling the effects of the ebb and flow of the season right now. You have to be so tuned-in mentally for every game, every week. If you do go through a low spell, you have to find ways to turn it around quickly, because getting a few wins will push you up the table.”

The NWSL season is about to be paused for the Olympics, which begin in France at the end of this month, where Fleming will be hoping to help Canada’s women retain the title they won at the previous Games in Japan three years ago. Paris 2024 will be her third Olympics and Canada have won medals at her previous two, taking bronze in Brazil in 2016, but a disappointing World Cup campaign, where they exited at the group stage after one win and two goals (one of them an own-goal) in the three games, has put a dampener on expectations.

“I struggled with penalties a bit at university, so it’s definitely not something I’ve always felt able to do,” she says. “I feel like for that coolness, I have to turn to my team-mates and our environment. I feel very supported and backed up with the national team and that helped me massively during that tournament.”

This time out, she’ll be in a new role as captain. Anyone who has watched Fleming play will know she is not the most vocal on the pitch, but she feels she can bring something different to the role.

“I’m definitely on the quieter side, but I’m learning there are so many different ways to lead,” Fleming says. “I don’t love speaking in front of a loud group of people and I feel like I thrive a bit more when I’m one-on-one with players. I would say I’m a bit of a football brain. I love watching the game, I love talking about tactics, and I’m always interested in how to improve, both as an individual and as a team.

“For me, it’s about letting my passion for football shine through and trying to bring others with me in that.”

[artycomicfangirl]

Princess Daisy’s Past, Her Family, and her Kingdom

Personal Headcanons List so far

—————————————————

Because it seemed like quite a few people were interested in some of my Daisy fan works. I decided to release this list of headcanons, which I actually found out I abandoned a while ago. Just decided to polish up and add more!

Before I go on, I just would like to add some context of my own kind-of AU and lore about Daisy’s father. (Since the fandom calls him Richard, I’ll be using that name too!) Some of these are just complete brainstorming. So in the future, info might change.

Now we got that out of the way, hope you enjoy this almost mini-book length lore, haha. Take your time, no pressure. But consider this as a little treat for those who love fan-lores and such!

—————————————————

Sarasaland’s History

Sarasaland was either a Barren wasteland, where 4 Kingdoms have been at each other’s throats for a long time in prior history.

Or, it was once a prosperous land. But one where it had been oppressed and enslaved by a crueler rule.

Whichever idea I was planning, it’s important to know that before Current Sarasaland, it was said to have been a bleak and dark place where “Not even flowers would even dare bloom”. The innocent folk there always dreamed of seeing beautiful fields of flowers.

There was supposed to be a miracle event that was recorded in a historical book entry about the day that Sarasaland was saved. From an account written by someone unknown:

“…Gone was the grey, somber Plume Filled Sky. When the Rays of light shone through, For the first time in ages, we saw crystal blue. Blessed by a miracle, the sight of flowers blooming all across the land. We have been kept in darkness for so long, now finally free from a cruel ironic-clad hand.”

—————————————————

Daisy and her Family

Daisy’s Father

I had ideas that Daisy’s Father may not even have originally been of royal blood at all. However, he ended up being the ‘Hero’ of his time long ago, when he and his comrades swore to save Sarasaland. And because of his spirit in battle and admirable leadership, he was chosen to be the King of the Land. A bit like Mario and Luigi being the signature heroes of Mushroom Kingdom.

The way Richard was crowned Prince could be similar to how Princess Peach would go through a process in the Super Mario Bros movie 2023. A time period of training, until he was very much ready to be crowned.

I 100% believe that this is a like Father, like Daughter situation. Daisy has inherited much more of her personality from her Father than her mother, and it shows. People would wonder how a Princess can be so battle-ready, rough and brave? Just take one look at her Father, and you’ll see why! She has very much inherited her his stubborn, and often at times very energetic and silly nature.

Personality wise, I assume that current Richard is overall, a tough man. A Veteran. He might look a bit too intimidating. But deep down, he still has a good heart that cares for the well-being of those around him.

Even more so, he melts when he’s around his wife. He adores his daughter even more so, because she is all he has left. So I guess we can believe with certainty, that Richard is definitely an overprotective type over things he loves and cares for.

When he was his younger self, he was more of a Bright-Eyed and determined youth. Leaning towards more of the stereotypical hero figure. Over time, he did learn to become a stronger and good leader. But as he grew older, there show the traces of a slightly grumpy older man.

There was that point where he did made sure to keep a child Daisy in the confines of the castle, right after losing his wife.

At first, the subjects and other 4 Kings thought this was a necessary and appropriate idea. But a while after, they started to think that the Princess might be sad if she was to constantly be watched over and told to stop doing things and be careful.

The King’s mindset would end up changing, when he finds a Diary that his wife used to own around the time when they were both still Prince and Princess.

The contents of the diary contained deep, poignant feelings and emotions. The most that moved his heart, was when she would describe her love for the King. All in all, Richard got an insight of his late Wife’s thoughts. Her happiest moments showed how genuine, kind and free the Queen felt, and how much of a beautiful person she was inside and out.

It was then Richard decided to do what was right, and to raise his Daughter to not always just be cautious and meek. But to be brave, carefree and unafraid, letting her flourish to be her best self. So that in the future, he would be able to have more faith in Daisy being able to take care and fight for herself.

At the beginning, He began teaching Daisy at a young age on how to fight and defend herself, along with giving her scholars that teach her about Sarasaland’s history. It’s a bit later that Richard had the idea of Daisy being also mentored by the 4 Kings in Sarasaland. This is the reason why Daisy is so headstrong and strategic as she is now. Also opening for the idea of her having a close familal relationship with the other Kingdoms, and how much they trust and have faith in her.

I actually thought it would be an interesting take to get some inspirations from the 1993 Daisy in the live action Super Mario Bros movie. A personal Headcanon (And inspired from her original personality), is that despite being a tomboy, Daisy values and treasures history and culture. Being quite knowledgeable in some things across the cultures of the 4 Kingdoms under her rule.

It’s because Richard wanted Daisy to be able to know her kingdom like the back of her palm. In fact, Daisy’s vast knowledge with certain historical things comes off as a surprise to most others. It may be even implied that Daisy could even be able to read and speak certain languages. Funnily enough, Daisy is also quite savvy when it comes to financial things.

But with Daisy being Daisy, she is more of an assertive Soldier/Leader. A bit different to Peach being a calm and caring Diplomat.

On the Day Tatanga made his presence known, the King only found out about the invasion during his usual visitings with the Palace Scientist’s (A bit like their version of Prof E. Gadd).

One of the Scientists gave reports about how for the past few days, there have been strange activity of something entering and lingering within the world’s Atmosphere, Somewhere above Sarasaland. This strange activity would try to emit signals. which each time, seem to grow more powerful every day.

After Richard asks when the next signal could be predicted, all computers and systems were hijacked. Each and every communicative technology displaying a sinister message, Implication of an invasion. The King immediately took action, initiating an entire announcement throughout the entire land. However, they were little too late.

The Main Sarasaland Palace was seized as Tatanga and his army would make his appearance. But not wanting to give up, The King was able to cause a rebellion. Sparking the first Battle with the Alien Army.

At this point is where I thought of the idea that originally, it seemed like that Both the King and his daughter were going to escape together, trying to reach one of the Warp pipes.

However, the big reveal was that The King had only wanted to assist his Daughter in making sure the Future Heir of Sarasaland, would escape safety. Richard would stay and fend for the Kingdom he swore to protect. As he said “Much like your mother did in her last moments, before they took her away.”

Richard believed that because The Aliens had been above their land for quite some time before they attacked, they had been surveying the land down below. And in turn, knew everything on what to expect. If Daisy were to escape, it was highly likely that she could reach other Kingdoms in time and ask for help, places where Tatanga would have not been able to reach just yet.

Daisy initially refused to leave her Father. But at the end, Richard ordered the Sphinx King Totomesu to take Daisy away to the last warp pipe. And that once Daisy was able to be transferred successfully, to destroy the Warp pipe afterwards. The last thing that Daisy saw before she was knocked out from the Warp Pipe being destroyed, was her father and the other 4 Kings going right into battle.

Usually I would go the route of “Parents have died” route. But I’m juggling with a potential idea that in fact, both of Daisy’s parents are not actually dead. She may have initially thought so. But both her Mother and Father in both occurrences, have only been taken away. But in Daisy’s case, she has witnessed Tatanga perform the mind control across almost all residents of Sarasaland.

It is through her Father’s will, which drives Daisy to take back and free her Kingdom and her father.

—————————————————

Daisy’s Mother

(She is sort of like a Fan Character/Oc at the point. And because I have a name for her, I’ll be referring to her as such here!)

Queen Laelia. A woman of knowledge and intellect, A preserver and appreciator of history and culture. She is pictured to be calm, elegant, kind, gentle and wise. However, she is also known to be firm and confident when it comes to decision making. Yet also understanding and more willing to hear the perspectives of anyone to gain an understanding of them.

Her Namesake is inspired from the Laelia Orchid flower, known for its purple colour. She might have some hint of magical abilities, or has a connection with magical places or objects.

Laelia could potentially be a descendant of long past ancestors from Sarasaland. That, or her ancestors were known to have an old holiday home/territory/Base somewhere located within one corner or Sarasaland. However during her time before she met Richard, she only knew life of her own Kingdom, located across the sea.

Because of this, she always felt like there was a ‘calling’ for her to one day see Sarasaland. Yet, she couldn’t quite place why. Her name might serve as a little indicator that Her Ancestors adopted the floral naming ideas, showing how deep their connection with the homeland runs.

Surprisingly, It’s Laelia whose main role as the Botanist/Plant specialist in the family. Daisy just ends up sharing and taking up similar hobbies and passions as her Mother did. But Daisy might more under the Explorer/Archaeologist role.

A young Princess Laelia would have met a Prince Richard when she was arriving to Sarasaland. Her Royal family treated this trip as a big deal, as this would be the first time they were able to set foot on Sarasaland docks. About a year or more prior, was when the news of Sarasaland being saved became public celebration.

The Princess and her family were impressed at the efforts for the 4 Kings in making the most of their efforts to restore Sarasaland to its former beauty. And even moreso shocked, as the Princess was always told that for the longest time, Sarasaland had lost its beauty and flowers. Yet here, the land was now thriving with no more war.

Laelia’s Interactions with Richard began when the Prince offered to give her a tour of Sarasaland, when she personally asked to be able to learn more as a part of her research and studies. Surprisingly, the Prince took up the role of Acting almost like a guide or advisor to her and her family.

This would lead to The Princess being curious as to why he offered to personally guide her, instead of sending a subject instead. The Prince mentions how much pride and love he has for the land. And how he will always wholeheartedly be a supporter to advocate for how much the Land changed him for the better. It was his job to oversee as much of the responsibility he can, so all of the civilians can live life in peace and free from worry. However, he mentions that if the Princess would like to have interviews with some of the local folk, he’ll gladly let her.

While Laelia’s family had to return to their kingdom, she opted to stay in Sarasaland for a while in order to keep watch, and to learn more about the development and culture. She promised that she would come home some time after them.

However, during this window of time, the Princess was slowly growing attached to Sarasaland. And unbeknownst to her, The Prince was the first to Harbor feelings for her as time went on. This would all build up throughout more interactions with the Prince, and soon ended up falling in love with one another.

When it was time for her to go back to her kingdom, she of course felt sadness when Even when she promised that one day she will return. But at that point, the thought of not being able to see Richard again made her feel down.

This would later be picked up by a family member (Could be mother, uncle, aunt or sibling ect) who couldn’t help but be concerned about the Princess. At first, the Princess tries to hide this, as her time there was meant to be strictly professional. But said family member would put the pieces together. Commenting how they noticed that from reports they heard, Laelia looked like she belonged there. That she had a newfound happiness.

This would later become a process of Laelia discussing with her Father. The King arranging to return to Sarasaland again with his daughter. And after some further discussion between two Kingdoms, there would come to an agreement that re-uniting and reforming an alliance that was once broken, would be the first beneficial step for both Kingdoms.

After a Wedding being arranged and taken place in Sarasaland. The Princess would gain her title as Queen, and the Prince now became a King.

Some time after, The Queen would give birth to their first and only child, A Daughter. They decided to name her Daisy, after the Queen’s favourite flowers.

(*NOTE!! At this point I’m not so concrete and fleshed out on this part of the story next, so these are just potential ideas)

The Queen would be able to be with her Daughter throughout most of her early childhood. However, the first life-changing incident would happen at a festival at the Queen’s home Kingdom.

During the yearly festival, an attack was made where a Villain wanted to take something from the kingdom. Maybe an object that radiated energy or held ancient secrets and knowledge that kept the kingdom thriving. A planned mission. All in all, if this object was taken, the Kingdom would call into Chaos.

At this point, there may be an implication that Daisy’s Mother has a magical ability. ( a Hand Power?? Similar to Firebrand or Thunderhand?) Maybe always born with one. So even when the enemy had failed to take the Prized object. They unfortunately managed to take Daisy’s Mother away. And the little Princess had witnessed it all.

Both Kingdoms were left grieving immensely after the incident. And even as both sides tried to heal over time, this was where Richard would have developed that time period of protectiveness over his Daughter for a little while.

[goldentlme]

i’m searching for you in my fading memories .

alternate versions .

whooh . WHOOH !!!!! good GOD !!!!

listen to the song linked while looking I think it really adds . look up a translation too if you want ! listen to the entire lies of p ost in fact . its fucking fantastic .

NOTES .

in april 2022 , i drew a fanmade book cover for the danganronpa x reader fic Sleep Awake . in december of 2023 i redesigned my reader for that story for the third time and thought it appropriate to redraw that old cover with their new design . and yesterday , january 13th 2024 , i finished that bitch . View the fruits of my labour .

in my last Notes section i talked about nerfing the lighting . well um . i nerfed it again . i dont know if it was fate or if i just . idk . didnt want to but i axed both original concepts - the yellow overhead light ( mostly) , and the light blue under light - and just Winged the fuck outta it . that ' mostly ' means that the light source is Still overhead but i just took the colour out to make it more neutral .

another thing i brought up were the shelves and how i wanted to add more items to them . I did it this time , but not to the extent that i really wanted to . i'd hoped for more Clutter and ultimately couldnt think of anymore than a few items . SAID ITEMS BEING !!!!

the pills . self explanatory , since they haunted the majority of cases 2 and 3 .

chess pieces . cute little reference to the chess scene ! even if the scene itself didnt feature real chess pieces , the imagery wouldnt work if i didnt use real pieces .

the letter opener . dont need to explain this one . but i Did originally plan to have it in shin's hand ( explaining why that one is balled like that , because there was originally a Thing in there ) but i couldnt figure out how to draw it and make it look Good . i only added it back when i was colouring the trinkets on the shelves and realised that i Forgot to put it back into the drawing .

the joker card in the bottom corner . also shouldnt have to explain this one .

LITTLE DETAILS I THINK YOU SHOULD LOOK AT .

THE HANDS !!!!!!!!! i decided at the very last second to make them vaguely see through . and theyre all a persons ! amami and shinguji are the obvious ones , but the two holding at the top are supposed to be ouma ( on the scarf ) and akamatsu ( on the rope ) . i would have included tojo's as well but i couldnt fit it in the composition without it looking awkward and out of place and i thought there were already enough references to case 3 as is .

and you literally cant even see it but if you look REALLY closely at oumas hand . his skin is a little grey and you can see the veins through the skin . wonder what happened there . Guess we'll never know !

THE BOOKS !! did the same thing as last time with a Little More . purple books are ouma , green are both amami and tojo , blue is both kiibo and chabashira , pink is akamatsu , and red is phys themselves . i know phys's canonical colour association is olive green but consider : shin is red . look at him . hes Red . that ones for me specifically .

with that . i did all of those books by hand . i drew about 9 variations of books and copy pasted them sure but i Shaded and Coloured them all individually . youll never guess how fucking LONG that took . so yeah . no one book has the exact same shading . goodie !

THE JOKER !!! yes i know i talked about it in the previous section but i WILL talk about the card itself . because i unironically am so in love with how that drawing came out . the little guy featured there is my Lies of P oc scaramouche or scaramuccia ( i use them interchangeably ) . hes a silly jester :3 . the depiction on the card is of him in his prime , before . All Of That Happened . story-wise he's a super famous circus performer known as " The One Man Show " because all of his acts are done alone and are absolutely insane . hes very good at what he does which is Why he doesnt have a crew . and the only reason hes so good is because he't not even human , just pretending to be !

additionally , i originally planned for that joker card to be a Real Life Joker . because a little known fun fact about me is that i collect playing card decks ! but i looked and literally NONE of the ones i currently own would have fit the piece . so . yeah . i just ended up drawing darling scaramuccia . heres the full image im so chuffed

i think thats all i got for the drawing itself . i initially started this back in early december but got stuck and picked it back up a couple days ago , so its been marinating for a bit . hope we all like it ! i think its Better than the original . THE SERIOUS STUFF .

its so fucking insane to think that its been almost 2 years . not only have i truly rediscovered my love of reader insert fanfiction after so many years unable to even think about it without feeling a little sick to my stomach , but ive made so many good friends and core memories through this fic . i even got back into writing . literally never thought id write again after my 11th grade english class and my 10th grade creative writing class . and im having FUN with it . wild .

anyways , this one goes out to vee @chihirolovebot for writing one of The Fics of all time , putting up with my insane ramblings about idol these past months ( READ SWINGING RIGHT NEOWWWW ) , and for letting me help design their dnd characters . godspeed .

it goes out to nex @nexuswrites for beating better genshin character builds into me , giving great fic recommendations , creating thief of detectives quandary fame . READ DQ ( THREAT ) !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! , and being a fellow p5 and pokemon lover . i miss the coordinator and justice

and of COURSE !!!! rei @berry-creates . the gay the myth the legend . a fellow oc haver and lover , a fantastic writer , and an overall lovely person . this one goes out to u for sharing oc playlists , playing splatoon with me , and for creating maddie . theyre a little freak and i want to study them . i love seeing u go insane over them its like enrichment for me bc i too am also a little mentally ill about them im just really good at hiding it .

theres a whole lot more i could say and more people i could talk about but this is long enough , isnt it ?

thanks for a beautiful 2 years of physouma yaoi . heres to the upcoming sleep awake case 6 , epilogue , all the future additions to the one shot book , the entire rest of dq , tfp , and sams , and more blorbos to put in the smoothie maker . this took a whole two hours to write .

cheers , boys .

song of the post .

[remimibanana]

A bit about Shattered!

I wrote a story about Robin and Sunday!

It's about what may have happened during their past, their present and what the reality during and after the never ending dream held for them.

You can find it here!

I wanted to write a bit about my thought process behind writing this, since I have a lot to say and it might interest some people! I also didn’t want to make my notes section way too long and make it hard to leave a comment or kudos.

All under the cut!

Conception

I started writing this story after 2.2 released, but I didn’t finish it until now. It took me so long but it’s finally here! 30k wasn't the amount I expecting but I am all for it.

It originally was meant to be a love letter to 2.2, but it soon became a love letter to Penacony as a whole since there’s spoilers for everything. I had to rewatch the quests often to make sure I didn’t mess up the lore.

I remember I spent a whole day on the 2.2 quest, a Thursday where I sat down on my phone reading through the dialogue and playing the game while wondering when it was going to actually end at one point.

It was way longer than I expected, but I cried by the end of it all while pacing around the kitchen like a crazy person. Seeing Robin jump for Sunday as he fell, I couldn’t help but tear up. It made me love Robin and Sunday way more than I did before!

It was an incredible quest. It was worth all the hours I poured into it, thanking everything that no one was home when I let out noises and screams like a maniac in the kitchen out of all places. I'm a very expressive person.

I also jumped like a maniac when Acheron said Mei, or Yayi since I play with the CN dub! I love Honkai Impact 3rd a lot, if you didn’t know. I mean, everyone knew beforehand but it felt super validating for it to be explicitly said.

I knew immediately that I had to write something for this wonderful story. I’m always inspired to write after a quest, especially one like this. Shaoji cooked with Penacony and he needs to come back and write more for Star Rail.

I had to write Robin and Sunday, because there was so much I could write regarding these two doomed siblings. I did alternating point of views with both of them, as I wanted to tell both their stories.

I also knew that I wanted angst to the max, especially after hearing what the heck Robin went through and the fact that the game barely touched on anything in her point of view. This is the same case with Sunday.

I’m sorry for the pain I have inflicted on you all! I will write a happy story at some point, I promise you. Then again, I've said this before and I still manage to write angst…

There wasn’t much planning for this, aside from a few things from the quest that I wanted to write into it and use…and yet it looks like I’ve meticulously planned it all out doesn’t it?

I amaze myself sometimes. I quite literally surprised myself actually at times, I made stuff connect and I didn’t mean to really. Is this what they call being a genius?

Let’s take it from the top!

The Past

The first thing I knew I wanted to write was how Robin was shot in the neck.

That sounds terrible, damn. I don’t know how else to word it, I’m sorry!

It was mentioned by Sunday so briefly, and then never brought up again by anyone which is insane to me like what do you mean that Robin was shot in the neck in a war she went into?!

We got to see how he was informed by the Dreammaster about it after showing Robin’s letter and how he was going to pack his bags immediately for Kasbelina-VIII but that was honestly it. This gave me the perfect base to write my rendition of how it all happened.

I structured this part by writing out two letters, the one that Robin sent to Sunday and one that Sunday would have written back if he received it first. I then wrote the actual happenings underneath each paragraph that contradict the letters.

My goal was to make this as interesting as I could since it’s the first thing you read in my story. I needed to hook you all in, and keep you wanting to read on until the end.

There is a lot of story building here, describing the conditions of Kasbelina-VIII and some of the messed up stuff that is happening there. It’s rather realistic, because I wanted it to be. If I was going to talk about a war, I would do so properly without downplaying anything.

I first found it strange that Sunday didn’t know about the war at all. I figured, wouldn’t a war be at least broadcasted by the largest government body, the IPC themselves?

That’s when the idea that the IPC was intentionally covering it all up came to me. It seemed like the most logical explanation, and a very interesting one that I could build upon.

Despite Robin’s letter being in her point of view, we see another being shown. The soldiers who she was staying with this whole time, their thoughts regarding the war and Robin herself.

I had to make a reason as to why she would be shot, because she had to be right in the middle of the battlefield for that to happen. If the IPC was covering everything up, they would also stop supporting the poor planet.

These poor soldiers she’s staying with had no new supplies delivered to for weeks, and yet they still gave what they had left to her, showing that there is still kindness in such a horrific situation.

Based of what I could see, Robin wouldn’t let them suffer like this when she learnt about the supply issue by what I assume was on accident generally. I wanted to give the soldiers some character, so I made them lie to her for her sake about how long they didn’t have supplies for.

We have a lot of lying mentioned in this story, since it’s the main premise for both Sunday and Robin. They both lied to each other for the other’s sake, thinking that it was the right thing to do. Lies after lies pile up, and we see what happened when they all came falling down.

I've never been shot before (god forbid) but I tried to imagine how it might have felt for Robin, the way it would make her feel. It did hurt to write this part, the way she still tried to deliver those supplies...the way she belittled herself for lying...

I wanted to make you all suffer, pretty much. That also sounds terrible.

Now, we go into Xipe and THEIR role. The Dreammaster mentioned how Harmony had blessed her by missing her vital arteries, so I made THEM interfere despite the fact THEY usually only observe and watch everything unfold.

THEY said that the bullet was not meant to hit her, but it still did for some reason that eluded them. This was such a major foreshadowing point that doesn't make much sense until later on, I am such a genius for this!

The same case when it is mentioned that someone could try to calculate their reasonings by forsaking their humanity, I was intentionally foreshadowing what Sunday does later on when he tried to.

You seriously would think I planned all this but it sort of came out this way.

Sunday's letter on the other hand, is much more of a character study of himself if anything. I wanted to explore how he would feel about all this, the way he would handle such a situation of his beloved sister being shot.

We know that Sunday uses puppets, but it's never stated why or how he had them in the first place. We can also see how he can manipulate them, making them act out scenes and characters during the time when we are stuck running through those Memory Zones before his boss fight, which I took and built upon the idea.

Sunday is a very complex character, so I made him a little mentally unstable when concerning his sister. The way he lashed out at his puppets, destroying them all over and over while making up scenarios of her shooting in order to cope. He even thinks that a puppet is Robin for a second.

If this is out of character or not, I don’t know. I wanted to give him more character than we see in the actual story, and naturally my thoughts went to this. It is mentioned how much he loves Robin (as a sister obviously), and so I wanted to see how far he would go for his only family left.

I took the concept of Harmony and expanded on it. We can see that Harmony can alter the mind's state, so why not make it so they can control others by altering their thoughts? I often like adding additional powers for the plot that still make sense in the realm of the game.

For Robin, it was mostly subconsciously done. For Sunday, he does it intentionally for his own reasons. Both use Harmony to alter minds without asking if the intended victim wanted it, making them both in the wrong.

We have these whispers present, the choir above that Sunday can hear because of how attuned he is to Harmony, alongside Robin that he rejects often. I don't think this is a thing in game, but I thought it would make everything so much more intriguing!

His distrust in Harmony grows and the rejection started from the first seed of doubt planted by Mr Gopher Wood. I imagine that his manipulation started young, slowly introducing the disharmony into Sunday's ideals.

This whole section quite literally foreshadows the rest of the story, it's great.

The Present

The major part of this story is when Robin is in Sunday's consciousness.

We have no idea what happened to her there, only that they were “put” to sleep. In Ena’s Dream, apparently it is called Tuning that she went through alongside Welt Yang by Sunday, who mentioned that nothing too bad happened to him there.

Then again, apparently it was Jing Yuan who saved Welt from Sunday’s subconscious???? I don’t really know how that works but point is, I had a lot of playing ground for what happens to Robin in there.

Here, we are introduced to the idea of Memory Zones (every time I read this, I think of Mystery Zones from Pokémon Diamond/Pearl/Platinum), areas of Sunday’s subconscious that he made to house his manifestations.

The first zone that Robin enters is incomplete. I imagine that Sunday never prepared for the possibility that Robin would ever enter his mind, so she was thrown into a zone that was quickly conjured up to keep her.

Since Robin too is attuned to Harmony, she can affect the Memory Zone to an extent. The colours you see on the ground is from her own power, as you can tell by the fact it originally came from her every single time it is mentioned.

As to why this is happening, I think it’s more of a subconscious thing once again. Robin doesn’t truly mean to use Harmony here while stuck in a random zone.

She can also hear the whispers, although they are trying to help her unlike Sunday’s ones. This is clearly a major foreshadowing point that you realise later on that these aren’t the same whispers.

We see the Charmony Dove from their childhood flying around and giving Robin a bit of trouble. This was definitely Sunday’s doing, who finally decided what he would do with her.

I wanted Robin to sing here because I thought that it was the best way to calm down the little bird, and symbolize how important her singing is to her and the world around her.

As she keeps saying, it’s the only thing she is good for at the end.

It was Sunday who made the bird fly away like a puppet with feathers, and Robin ran after it. I feel like she’s very selfless, to the point that she would run into a trap knowingly.

A zone just for her.

I knew I wanted to use that story with the Charmony Dove since it’s pretty prominent in 2.2. The Memory Zone she runs into is a replica of the bedroom the siblings stayed in, with the Charmony Dove now in the cage they kept it in.

This bird isn’t the same one as before as you can tell, since this whole zone is Sunday’s memory of how he released the small bird to its death. Robin helps it to fly, but it only shattered its wings when it fell as Sunday explained.

That’s when she learnt that this was all her fault, and we learn why that bullet that wasn’t meant to hit her did back then.

It was karma. They do say that karma’s a bitch, and for Robin, it took form with that bullet. It sounds like I’m quoting Jojo Siwa but I’m not, I swear ;;

Point is, I AM A GENIUS FOR THIS.

I didn’t intent for it but I wrote down that sentence “Perhaps, Robin was shot in the neck because of what she did” and my brain connected the dots immediately with what I wrote with Xipe earlier.

Sunday finally makes an appearance in person. This whole sequence is interesting because we have him hurting Robin, as if she was one of his puppets. I intentionally made it this strange, with Sunday mentioning after that the zone fell out of his control later on.

I described how his arms were out like an overseer, that’s a very obvious reference to Otto Apocalypse from Honkai Impact 3rd.

The lullaby part is from 2.3, where Robin mentioned how Sunday used to sing a lullaby to her when she was restless at night. I thought it would the perfect final blow.

It isn’t Robin in that zone. But it is at the same time. It’s interesting, isn’t it? Would it be too farfetched to say that it was Robin's consciousness who transferred into that puppet? Who knows.

Robin “wakes up” from that Memory Zone, completely nauseous and disoriented from the sheer amount of Harmony, or Order she was subjected to. We saw this with that doctor earlier with only a small amount of it used.

It was too much for her to handle. It was only when Sunday appears again to cut through it all, does she snap out of it out of his sheer grace. What a kind person he is.

We learn that Robin is in a cage. This is the same cage we see in her splash art! I like to try to integrate them into my stories, like I did for one of my previous stories with Black Swan’s one!

The two siblings share a conversation that doesn’t end well, with him leaving her. It was the only logical outcome for our doomed siblings here. I feel bad for them.

The cage breaking and Robin singing is also based on her splash art, as I needed a way for her to escape the cage that made sense to her and the story. I think it signifies how important her singing is to her and how Harmony interacts when she does.

We see Robin running around all the various Memory Zones Sunday has, noting how there are many puppets in them. I was alluding to when we go through those Memory Zones in the Grand Theater where Sunday tells us some stories using his puppets.

In one of them…we find her companion that was forced to sleep alongside her.

WELT YANG IS HERE.

I just wanted to write him since he is one of my favourite characters and I had my chance to finally in a story!

You can probably tell how much I enjoyed writing him based on how long his part is. If you have played Honkai Impact 3rd, or know Welt’s backstory, this is my little treat for you. If Hoyo won't make him do things, I WILL.

I made Welt finally use his powers. He’s the Herrscher of Reason, he has the freaking Star of Eden (the 9th Divine Key itself), AND HE BARELY DOES ANYTHING PLEASE DO SOMETHING I WANT TO SEE—

Ahem.

Making a bench is child’s play for Welt. I thought it would be kind of funny if he did.

Welt is more childish here since he wanted to cheer Robin up, who looked clearly sad. I think he probably used to do something similar with his adoptive son Joey when he was upset. He couldn't help but do so for his companion.

The idea for him making himself have wings like hers is from this one comic I saw on Twitter that lives rent free in my mind. I thought it would be a great way to cheer her up while also using his power more!

(It took me so long to find this, it wasn't funny how much I scrolled)

His wings smack right onto his face rather comedically and I took that from the official emojis where you can see Robin hiding her face. I imagine that younger Halovians struggle with their wings moving around and his wings are practically akin to newborn ones.

The power of Reason.

This is where I had to make things painful. Welt talks about his experience, the memory that Sunday chose to use against him. I was thinking about what would be the best memory, and of course I went for the jugular for that pain factor.

This is where Welt Joyce, the former Herrscher of Reason died in the city he was protecting. This was where Joachim Nokianvirtanen, who we now know as Welt Yang received the Core of Reason, the name Welt and a mission from Welt Joyce, before passing away.

It’s a very important memory to Welt, and one I would see Sunday exploiting. Only those who know of Welt Yang’s story would know that the man he mentioned was Welt Joyce since I intentionally didn't mention his name.

For Welt recreating half of the town, I was spitballing about the energy part. I don’t know if Memoria would be a good substitute for Honkai energy but I’m just rolling with it. Don't quote me on that.

The main role of Welt here is to reassure Robin, give her the will and inspiration to keep going despite everything. She even tells him all about her experiences, a connection between the two already facilitated by simple communication.

I feel like Welt is such a father figure. If only we all had him in our lives.

Reality

Sunday has now merged with Dominicus and has fallen to those whispers above, as the never ending dream is taking form.

The Dreammaster, Mr Gopher Wood himself makes an appearance as his former form. In 2.2, all his ravens die and he is never seen again, making it pretty clear that he's dead. However, I assume that he joined the Dreamscape and is now an entity that can oversee everything.

Dead only physically, as you will.

The Embryo of Philosophy is named by the Dreammaster here, since I was wondering how Sunday was named that during his boss fight, although it could have been from the whispers THEMSELVES. I also made Mr Gopher Wood show his true colours, to show that manipulative side.

There was a reason for this. He didn't want his son to start rebelling or second guessing his choice, so he used Robin as a way to keep him ensnared in his deception. Evil, isn't he?

I honestly think that Sunday knew that he would ascend to Aeonhood, as smart as he is. At least, he would have had an inkling of Gopher Wood’s true intentions.

Those whispers were Ena this whole time inside of Xipe as we learn. If Xipe absorbed Ena, wouldn’t Ena still be there? I think Mr Gopher Wood and Ena were in cahoots, scheming together. Perhaps even more than that (gets hit).

How…how dare he? 

How dare he glimpse Heaven’s will? How dare he change people’s fate?

How dare he decide the life and death of other beings? 

How dare he represent the will of all beings? How dare he control the greatest secrets and riches of the world itself?

How dare he…hold the fate of the entire world in his hands?

These lines are from HI3, particularly from Chapter 3 of Part 2 but slightly edited. This is what Baiji thinks of his actions to save everyone, and I feel like it also applies to Sunday.

We have many HI3 references here. I couldn’t help myself.

We now go back to Robin's point of view. This is after she awakens from Ena’s dream.

I don’t know if any other people woke up aside from the Astral Express + Acheron, Boothill and Black Swan, but for plots sake, there was. Just some random people we don’t care about.

We have Acheron! I wanted to write her since she played a huge part in Penacony and it would be a shame not to after I read this:

The bloody sacrifice becomes the sweet dreamland. The real world will lose meaning for them, while the eternal dream will become their only reality. They will no longer think with time. Their dreams will be connected, which will create a true miracle that transcends finality.

This is also a treat for the HI3 players. The words here are the words that Raven tells Mei before Project Stigma takes place. I was playing through that chapter at one point and thought that the words fit perfectly for this story.

I rewrote Acheron’s part because I disliked what I had initially. I was writing about Finality and how it was the same as transcending Order but it didn’t fit well so I changed it. I wanted to say how Finality governs time and how it can change reality if you had the authority...but perhaps another time.

As we know, Acheron was the only survivor who defeated End, referring to Kevin Kaslana all by herself without her companions unlike in HI3. I had to mention this and highlight the difference between their cases.

She doesn't show up again in the story, but she also impacts Robin in a way.

Miss Firefly takes the stage!

We have a bit of Robifly because I do ship them and I couldn’t help myself when I had a chance to write an interaction between Robin and Firefly. I wanted something a bit more lighthearted to break between all the angst and pain.

I saw how Firefly mentioned that she can't dream, and so I just wanted Robin to tell her otherwise to cheer her up. She’s following Welt’s lead, being that kind and inspirational person!

I’m sorry for making you the third wheel…

Speaking of him, we have Welt again appear! I couldn’t help myself, I just wanted to write more of him and I felt like Robin would try to seek him out first.

Did you know that it was called a Dream Pool, that bed in the Reverie? I had to rewatch 2.0’s quest because I didn’t remember the name for the life of me.

This time, we have Welt suffering yet again…I'm sorry that I only write you like this. He mentions in 2.3 that he dreamt about returning to his homeland and seeing all his old friends. This poor man, imagine waking up to find that it was all a lie.

The yelling mention was obviously a nod to Tesla who I would imagine yell at him for taking this long to return without a single word.

I hope Welt does get to connect with his homeland eventually, I want to see them or hear them!

We then go into the battle against Sunday! I purposely chose Sunday's point of view here, since we never receive it in the game.

I was rewatching the fight, and noted how sudden the switch from the question Sunday asked to mentioning how it was their final talk felt like it wasn’t him talking anymore, which I made the case here since we have my wonderful whispers.

We learn more about how Sunday felt during this, and what may have happened after their fall. Robin mentioned how she woke up by herself, which could only mean that Sunday left her there.

I think he genuinely was upset by the failure, but most of all…failing Robin. The feather falling down is a reference from how there were feathers flying around when Robin appeared and how the Trailblazer took it into their hands.

It clearly has the power of Harmony, and that’s what Sunday can feel when he holds it tightly. I imagine that he would keep that feather with him, as a reminder of what he lost.

The ending is based off 2.3, where we learn that Sunday is captured and will face trial. I didn’t go into much detail since we really don’t know much about how he was caught.

It won’t be the end.

It will be the end of all the suffering. 

I will realise my dreams.

I will make my dreams come true. 

I won’t fail again.

I will never fail.

The poison to Penacony still lingers.

I am a traitor. 

These are Robin and Sunday's thoughts respectfully. As you can see, they are both the same fundamentally. That goes to show how they are both traitors in a way, aren't they?

We have a little ending about the siblings, alongside a story with a snake.

The snake is Miss Jade herself, where Robin went to her to make her greatest desire come true...to let Sunday go free. I wanted to reference the end of 2.3 where we see Jade talking to Sunday, how he was free but he refused her.

I repeated the words Acheron spoke for the very end to tie it all together. The perfect words to end a story filled with so much!

End

Thank you for reading all this! I’ve spent way too long on this story and I’m glad it’s finally out there for everyone to read!

I feel like in terms of storytelling, this is my best story so far! I'm proud of all the elements I was able to merge into this!

- Miku

[mechstims]

How I make stimboards!

hi! i had a couple of messages asking how i make boards, so i thought i'd make a pretty elaborate breakdown on my methods!! ive been doing this since... probably around 2016/2017 ;w;

may be slightly image heavy and long! but... lets get into it!

Step one: Decide your theme! this part is super easy lol just figure out what your theme is! characters (or objects or whatever) usually go in the middle of the board. if you're using someone elses art PLEASE dont forget to link the source!! directly, not just pinterest!! I try and use official art as much as possible.

Step two: Plan your colours! I use a 3x3 grid for this if im making a traditional sized board!

here it is empty and a filled in example! feel free to save my empty one if you want lol you can just edit it in paint. keeping it balanced is for the best! it makes it more pleasing

some more examples of colour schemes! balance is key!

Step three: finding gifs and setting the board up

DO NOT USE PINTEREST!!! AND DO NOT PUT YOUR SOURCES DOWN AS PINTEREST

and for the love of primus dont put "credit to the gif makers" or "credit to the owners". please.

okay. now ive said that lets get into it. id say tumblr and tenor are two of the places i use the most. its as simple as looking up the type of gif or the colour you want. example would be: pink stim, red stim, food stim, slime stim etc!

dont forget to save the sources!!! try your best to go back to the source as much as possible. this usually means clicking through stim boards which is VERY annoying. but go back to the original gif poster if possible, unless the gif or blog has been deleted :(

this is much easier on PC. i just drag the gifs into a little grid directly on my desktop with the coloured grid above it as a guide for sources i keep a .txt file open to save the sources. the "x" marks spots where i havent filled in a gif yet

lol sneak peek to the skids board im working on for a request >w>"

pro tip: if you're using multiple of the same kind of gifs, make sure to put them on opposite sides for balance.

example! if the yellow square is a slime gif make sure to put it like the grid on the left. the grid on the right is unbalanced and makes it look awkward

does this make sense? basically, balance is key.

also dont be afraid to colour shift if you cant find stuff in the right colour :p speaking of! to crop gifs into squares, edit, change size and colour shift use ezgif.com!

Step four: posting!

upload all your gifs, make sure theyre in order and add sources! the easiest part! to add sources simply highlight the text and click the "inline link" button!

make sure to tag! you can copy and paste these tags if you want a baseline!

stimboard#stim#stimblr#stimmy#stim gifs#visual stim#stim blog

i also tend to add the colours and character names, as well as fandom tags!

i hope this is helpful to anyone whos just learning to make boards!

[imasradiantasthesun]

District 12 Family Trees

Here are some family trees I made for my thg fic holding bright! I include a good amount of worldbuilding and fleshing out of some side characters (aka Bristel, Thom, Leevy, and Delly) in it, so I thought hey might as well draw some trees to help clarify my thinking. First, some notes on the structure:

The numbers in brackets are the characters' ages at the time of the Reaping for the 74th Hunger Games. I didn't feel like assigning specific birthdays for everyone, hence just the ages lol. Some characters' ages differ from canon in my fic: Katniss, Peeta, Delly, and Madge are all 18, Prim is 13, and Rory is 12

My use of "clan" here is super arbitrary, it doesn't actually mean anything lol

Names in quotation marks are nicknames/what they go by

Plenty of people in the older generations are dead, again I just didn't feel like specifying it unless it's relevant

Some notes on my decision-making in general:

I accidentally made Katniss and Peeta's maternal grandmothers have the same maiden names please ignore that lmao they are NOT related closely At All, it's a normal amount of distance lol

Ashwin is supposed to be older than Jubilee, not younger!! and Carson is supposed to be younger than River and Rylee (who are twins)!!!

Some of the names chosen for some Seam characters are Indian names, because I headcanon that people from the Seam can be a mix of a ton of different stuff, including South Asian

The idea that Mrs Everdeen's first name is Alyssum (Alys for short) comes from Mejhiren's fic When the Moon Fell in Love with the Sun

I continued the bread theme for Mellark names lol. Mr Mellark's first name is Nick, from pumpernickel. I also once read a fic where Peeta is of Jewish descent, which I really liked, so some of the breads are of Jewish origin: Hal is from challah (which can also be written as hallah), and Bab is from babka

In Holding Bright (which is an au, hence the variety of small changes I have made to canon lol) the Reaping takes place on June 1st (instead of the canonical July 4th), and it's also canon that the Games start exactly one week after the Reaping, so therefore in HB they always start on June 8th. Therefore, the teenaged deaths set after June 1st -- Glory Salsbury, Maysilee Donner, and Ridge Littlefield -- were all in the Games.

As explained in chapter 9 of Holding Bright, Ezra and Petunia Rainwater started a tradition of giving their kids long ass floral names lol. Their first child was relatively spared, with the name Foxglove, though he still went by Fox; their second child, Devil-in-a-Bush (or just Dev) fell in love with a woman who also just so happened to have a super long floral name, Queen Anne's Lace (though she went by Lace). All of Fox's descendants were spared from this naming tradition, to the point where his daughter, Hazelle, gave all of her children only four-letter names. Meanwhile, Dev's descendants got the longest names ever lmao: Chrysanthemum had five children: Morning Glory, Lily-of-the-Valley (aka Leevy), Stairway to Heaven, May Night Salvia, and Forget-Me-Not.

I have a headcanon that in Town they tend to give their children middle names, while in the Seam they don't (why? I don't know <3). In Town middle names came into use because they wanted to honor loved ones who have passed away, but because of the Games and all that it's considered bad luck to give your child the same first name as a deceased loved one

However, because I'm lazy I only wrote out the middle names for the youngest generation because I didn't want to come up with middle names for every single Merchant character lol

Katniss and Prim have middle names because their mother is from Town. Madge's middle name comes from Maysilee, just like Katniss's

I'm going with the popular headcanon that Katniss is indirectly related to Lucy Gray through Maude Ivory. Katniss's father's name follows the same conventions as those of the Covey (name from a ballad + a color). I had originally planned for people to only really know Mr Everdeen as Jet, hence why the family tree says Gordon Jet "Jet" Everdeen, but I have decided against that!! he went by Gordon Jet!!!

The first part of Mr Everdeen's name comes from the Scottish ballad Lord Saltoun and Auchanachie, in which the protagonist, Jeannie, is in love with a poor man named Auchanachie Gordon. However, despite Jeannie's resistance, she is married off by her parents to the wealthy Lord Salton/Saltoun; Jeannie then dies of a broken heart before Auchanachie Gordon returns and also dies. I thought Gordon is a fitting name, considering that Mrs Everdeen left her life in Town, where the wealthier Mr Mellark was in love with her, to marry the poorer Mr Everdeen

The second part of Mr Everdeen's name, Jet, comes from the color jet black; jet is also a type of coal

Some allusions to another canon character + my minor OCs:

Rooba is the name of the butcher in canon, so here she is Delly's aunt

Madge's maternal grandmother, Magnolia, has the maiden name Blackwell. She is distantly related to Maggie Blackwell, the carpenter's daughter who went missing about a decade ago

Thom’s maternal grandmother, Nomi Goodwin, was originally from Town

Bristel's mother, Juniper, passed away from complications at childbirth

Gale's maternal grandmother, Anika, has the maiden name Reeves. Gale is second cousins with Sparrow Reeves, the female tribute from 12 in the 68th Games who made a lasting impact on her district due to the brutality of her death

River & Rylee Ludlow are the 17-year-old twins who tend to pick on Madge a bit. No wonder they're related to Mrs Mellark...

Mrs Mellark's brother, Noah, died in the Games. Her other brother, Elijah, took over the apothecary shop from the Stewards after Alys ran away to be with Gordon Jet

Ivy Fairweather is the Undersees' housekeeper, usually referred to in HB as Mrs Fairweather. She and her husband probably have a ton of kids, but I just didn't feel like writing them all out lol. Ivy's maiden name is Claymore, which is also the last name of another OC, Hetty Claymore, who mysteriously died; Ivy is Hetty's like second cousin whatever-times-removed or something (aka practically a distant aunt)

[thecinematicalgorithm]

Can't Catch Me Now: Lucy Gray and Katniss Story-Tie Analysis

I have not been on Tumblr much over the past couple of years but with the coming film The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes on its way I knew I'd be dusting this old page off. The Hunger Games series is one of my all-time favorite book series and the films are some of my favorite book-to-film adaptations, so to say I am pumped for this upcoming movie is an understatement. And to top it all, I have been obsessing over Olivia Rodrigo's new song Can't Catch Me Now, which if you've read the prequel, you'll know that it perfectly ties Lucy Gray's story to Katniss' journey. As always I want to warn anyone who might read this that spoilers for the upcoming film and Suzanne Collins' novel lie ahead. Also fair warning, this is super long cause I don't know how to be concise.

In preparation for the prequel film I have re-read TBOSAS and I am currently re-reading the original THG series (I am currently on Catching Fire, if anyone cares to know lol). I am also planning on a movie marathon the week of the prequel release, which I fully intend on subjecting my boyfriend to as he recently admitted he has only ever seen the first (and I simply cannot let him continue living life with no clue on how wonderful Peeta Mellark is). With that said, I have had a few thoughts, which I wanted to share before the release knowing that I will certainly have more thoughts after I have seen the film.

Honestly, I am going to be ridiculously obsessed for the next several weeks. I also know I wrote a couple of analyses on the differences between Snow and Katniss and the early games vs. the later games, which I will re-post so people can read them if they haven't before.

Enough chit-chat though let's get to it.

The parallels between Katniss and Lucy Gray are quite extensive and beautiful despite the characters being in many ways polar opposites. There is the saying that "Lucy Gray Baird is a performer made to hunt while Katniss is a hunter made to perform". This is a great summary of their overall character profile, and while I may at some point do a breakdown of Lucy Gray vs Katniss, I first want to write about how Lucy Gray and Katniss' story are far more connected than some might have realized. Part of the realization for me actually came while listening to Olivia's new song.

The chorus of the song reads as:

But I'm in the trees, I'm in the breeze

My footsteps on the ground

You'll see my face in every place

But you can't catch me now

Through wading grass, the months will pass

You'll feel it all around

I'm here, I'm there, I'm everywhere

But you can't catch me now

No, you can't catch me now

In terms of Katniss, I think it's been obvious for sometime that Snow particularly despises Katniss because she is a strong reminder of Lucy Gray Baird. She is a girl from District 12. She stood out during her Reaping, and swept the Captiol off their feet during her time in his city. She not only sang in the arena, but she sang a young girl "to sleep" with the very song Lucy Gray sang Maude Ivory to sleep. She used the Captiol's berries to save herself and Peeta, just as Lucy Gray used the Captiol's snakes to save herself. She wears a Mockingjay pin, the very bird which Snow undoubtedly relates to Lucy Gray and rebellion (far before it truly became the symbol of rebellion).

Katniss may not be like Lucy Gray in personality, but to Snow, Lucy Gray's spirit must seem very much alive in Katniss, and just as he tried desperately to rid the forests surrounding District 12 of mockingjays, this is one Mockingjay he wants to destroy.

The second verse of the song goes:

Bet you thought I'd never do it

Thought it'd go over my head

I bet you figured I'd pass with the winter

Be something easy to forget

Oh, you think I'm gone 'cause I left

This verse summarizes Snow's mindset at the end of TBOSAS, as we know he thinks he is safe from the threat of Lucy Gray. Her games have been erased, as time passes "there will be a vague memory that a girl sang in the arena" and even that too shall pass. However, where he goes wrong is when he fails to understand the deep connection and love the other Covey share for Lucy Gray. Despite not seeing how the story ends for them, or even having a solid explanation of Lucy Gray's ending, we at least know that Lucy Gray and her songs were not wiped from existance. Whether they believed, as he supposed, that the mayor was responsible for Lucy Gray's disappearance does not erase their connection to her.

Snow may have chosen never to allow love to control him again, but he did not erase the love those children had for Lucy Gray. Her music became all they had left of her so you can bet they continued singing them and sharing them, even if they had to do it on the down low. (I also share the common fan theory that Maude Ivory is the grandmother to Katniss Everdeen, and I'm hoping the film confirms this). Either way, Katniss clearly learned those songs from somewhere, which for Snow would have been a siren's call from the great beyond that Lucy Gray did not pass with the winter and she was not as forgotten as he had hoped.

Then we go into the bridge of the song where Olivia sings:

You, you can't, you can't catch me now

I'm coming like a storm into your town

You can't, you can't catch me now

I'm higher than the hopes that you brought down (repeats)

This is my favorite part of the song. Not only is it moving and emotional but it ties so much of Lucy's story to Katniss'. Both girls were like storms in the Capitol, sweeping the people and the nation into their stories so they could not help but be invested. Both were near impossible to control, despite Snow's best efforts, and both had a spirit of hope greater than Snow's ability to crush the highest of hopes. There's also something deeper, which intended by Olivia or not, makes this song perfect for the series. The lines "I'm coming like a storm into your town" and "I'm higher than the hopes that you brought down" is sung from the point of view of Lucy Gray. Both bring to mind images of the rebellion in THG: Mockingjay. The rebels stormed into the Capitol and their hope was higher than the hopes and lives which Snow had already destroyed in an effort to quell the rebellion.

However, just like Katniss becoming the Mockingjay, or the symbol of the rebellion, Lucy Gray had become her music. She was the anthem of the rebellion. If Katniss inspired hope, Lucy Gray was that hope. The hope of freedom. Dead or not Lucy Gray was finally free and her song reflects that truth and the rebels clung to it. Dead or alive they would be free.

Furthermore, Lucy Gray's song not only led to the freedom of Panem, but it also led to the freedom of Peeta's mind from the lies and brainwashing inflicted on him in the Capitol. Remember, Katniss always associated Peeta with hope until Snow brainwashed him. And if you'll recall, Peeta's first true breakthrough in regaining his memory of Katniss and his love for her was when he heard her rendition of "The Hanging Tree". Lucy Gray not only stormed into the Capitol but she stormed into Peeta's muddled memory, and her music was higher than the hope Snow had brought down. Lucy Gray's song led Peeta and Panem into freedom, and it helped to restore Peeta as the hope and love of Katniss' life.

Lastly, the ending of the song greatly foreshadows Katniss' journey:

There's blood on the side of the mountain

It's turning a new shade of red

Yeah, sometimes the fire you founded

Don't burn the way you'd expect

Yeah, you thought that this was the end

Of course, we all know the end is far from over for Snow. As Lucy Gray told him once, "The Capitol show isn't over until the mockingjay sings". Katniss' story ends with her singing Lucy Gray's lullaby to her children. Katniss was the fire founded by Snow, and despite his best efforts, it didn't burn out or even burn the way he expected it to. The line "the fire you founded" is also perfect to describe Snow and Katniss' dynamic because in many ways Katniss was only a threat because Snow threatened her. It's the same dynamic as Harry and Voldemort's. If Voldemort had left Harry and his family well alone, Harry never would have been the perfect enemy to thwart him. In the same way, if Snow had left Katniss and her friends and family well alone, she may never have come for him the way she did or joined the rebellion.

Interestingly enough, if Prim's name had never been called not only would the rebellion most likely have been avoided, but Lucy Gray's music may very well have been truly forgotten. Assuming Katniss is the only one left who actually remembers the songs, we know from reading the books that Katniss does not like or want to sing simply because they are painful reminders of her father. If Prim had never been threatened and Katniss had never been a contender in the games she would have been subjected to a life of mining and may have let the songs fade from memory as she lived out her miserable slave life in District 12.

But as we know that's not what happens, and instead the memory of Lucy Gray and her music is forced from Snow as Katniss is forced onto this journey proving the memory of Lucy Gray is very much still alive except this time Snow can't catch her now.

Thank you for reading if you made it this far! Please share your thoughts if you'd like!