#i only had energy to do this for every single npc because i love this game too much 😭😭

[longelk]

can I see your flight rising inscryption fandragons again pwetty pwease I neeeeed to see kaycee :3

🥺YEA YOU CAN!! I LOVE WHEN PPL INDULGE MY DRAGIN OBSESSION.............

heres my two kaycees, one dev one ghoul! :

the scrybes:

(fun fact, mags got spotlighted on a theme-week which is why he has so many more likes LOL. he hit 100 when i wasnt looking it seems :D)

i have,, SO many other npcs to post individually so ill leave the link to my lair LOL

certain dragons have received breed changes since i last posted them like amber and rebecha! :) all in all im still very very proud of all of these i love making fandragons so much!!!! i wanna make more art of my dergs too when i have time.......

[shorthaltsjester]

okay but i am very confused about the energy regarding the weavemind as. bells hells specific enemies? like sure they’re on ruidus and have been introduced in campaign 3 but none of bells hells have expressed a specific interest in taking them down, the weave mind has committed no specific crimes against bells hells that would equate it to being Justice™ for bh to fight them. even if you want to make the tenuous connection that like imogen and fearne are ruidusborn: both of them have focused much more on the consequences and revelations about their families that have come about from their ruidusborn existence than the authoritarian leaders of ruidus itself. so, uh, it is profoundly more interesting to have the party go after the person in charge of the army cult that contextualizes both of their existences and the trauma of the entirety of their party than a obscure group of villains that bh has no actual tangible relation to. like this was literally laid out in the conversation. bh get the cage and ludinus because that’s Their Fight that they’ve been fighting since imogen started dreaming and since orym’s family got killed. vox machina is taking the bridge because of the vax of it all. and mighty nein got the third less prevalent thing, because they’re experienced with psychic threats and manipulation (and also because of course the mighty nein are the ones dealing with the assignment less likely to be seen or heard about).

like the in-character reactions to the breakup of activities were only really considered anything close to negative by braius and dorian who while certainly now members of bells hells aren’t the ones upon which people are claiming to build their “this story is an injustice to the bells hells” sure it is. like ignoring the fact that being unable to get closure on every single issue and potential villain is a long-standing tradition in cr campaigns, i thought the thing everyone loved so much about bells hells is that they’re the npc party? and for better or worse c3 has been about being fast paced and it would be extraordinarily out of character for matt to say “oh these two high stakes and powerful groups have decided to fulfil their plans one at a time so that bells hells can sufficiently take them out.” like the only way that bells hells — the lowest level party — getting to take out One Of The Most Powerful Exandrian Mages is an injustice is if you’ve ignored the entire campaign and its context. like seeing the complaint that “it’s not bells hells story” yes, that has been made clear time and time again in the past 100 episodes. it’s completely fair to not like this, it’s extremely odd to see this as some sort of surprise wrecking ball that has come about in the decision to have more than one party of eight fuck ups trying to stop the unavoidably obvious world ending threat that exandria currently faces and not as something that has been made repeatedly clear by the themes and position of bells hells. like, throughout, unlike vm or mn, they have been handed their missions rather than choosing them (even if between 2 or 3 choices as was often the case with mn), they have explicitly discussed being the npcs or little guys, they have consistently gone to the bigger guys for help with things that previous parties either managed themselves or suffered without or had allies to help them (versus the like. Leaders that bh look to), even the dynamics of the parties express that bells hells are people stuck saving the world due to a bunch of personal moral codes rather than a specific decision to save the world because they’re the only ones who can, they’re expendable. that has made this campaign different throughout, it has made the characters less explored because they don’t have the time or means or desire to do so. and again it’s a matter of taste whether that’s something you enjoy, but it shouldn’t be a matter of “why would they do this” this far into the Bells Hells Aren’t Special They’re Just There campaign (which isn’t to say the characters aren’t special or whatever like they’re a bunch of weirdos but as a party they’re just a party)

[d20unfuckability]

Garthy Propaganda

(omitting only the many, many "need i elaborate?"/"it's self-explanatory" with no other comment on them responses, the only edits i've made to these are correcting a couple instances of misgendering and misspelled names)

"Over in the corner, you guys see what must be Garthy O'Brien. They're a tall, muscular, half orc aasimar. They're shirtless with a few accents of thin lined, geometric tattoo work around their wrists and biceps, as well as some floral tattoos on their midsection. They wear no shirt, but elaborate fabric-heavy harem pants and fine boots with like a myriad of like belts and straps and all that kind of stuff. Their head is shaved at the sides and back. Little flop of black hair on top. The irises are shimmering metallic gold. So it's like a halo superimposed on a jet black eye. They also have accented that by metallic silver makeup on their lips and a little around their eyes. You see that they have a massive two handed scimitar behind them that has a lot of like, gold rings, sort of stamped into the back of the blade. And there are gold rings jangling on the back of it. You also see that they have scars on their chest, as though they have gotten some kind of surgery, that they have like, disguised a little bit with some of those geometric celestial tattoos."

"first time i ever considered Brennan attractive"

"Nonbinary people are objectively hot especially when they have golden celestial tattoos also the voice Brennan does for them radiates comfort"

"HAVE YOUSEEN TJEM"

"This is self explanatory I feel like. Goddamn they're so fucking hot"

"Obviously? Their whole thing is like, angel succubus and also everything else, 10/10"

"They’re suave, they’re sexy, and I’d risk it all for them."

"They are the most pansexual sexy mother fucker in all of D20, frankly I don't blame Sandra Lynn, I would fuck them too and I don't think my wife would even be mad"

"i had to submit a second form because i cannot believe i forgot them. GOD they’re so hot. i’ve derived entire OCs just so i could create a character in their universe that had a SLIVER of a chance of getting with them. i don’t even have WORDS for how hot they are just pure unbridled unthinking lust. and you KNOW they’re a good fuck too. like they KNOW what they’re doing. sandra lynn didn’t cheat on jawbone for shit sex, like that questionable choice was arguably worth it."

"they’re a pirate, they’re trans, what more can you ask for"

"Sandra Lynn and I have some stuff in common"

"I have eyes and a pulse??? sexy non-binary pirate with the biggest dick energy on the planet…. sweet Jesus……."

"This is entirely self explanatory I feel, but they have to be the single hottest NPC Brennan has ever done. They're live in a pirate city! You might also get to fuck Sandra Lynn and/or Jawbone if they're down! They'd be infinitely respectful of you! There are no Ls here."

"I’m asexual (??? maybe just ace-spec, who knows) but I once had a dream about Garthy that was the closest I’ve ever gotten (and probably the closest I ever will get) to a sex dream. Also I made a compilation of literally every single word they speak because I’m so obsessed with their voice (I don’t want to post it on main for reasons, but I’m considering making a sideblog just to post it…would you reblog it if I tagged you 👀👀)"

"EVERYTHING ABOUT THEM"

"I think I’m mostly just in love with Brennan saying ‘Lovey’"

"CANONICALLY fuckable. just ask jack brakkow"

"Smooth, silver tongued, confident, they know how to take care of their patrons and partners alike. Flirty, fun, hot."

"see. we all know they're hot and fuckable and cool as hell. we all know this"

"Yes."

"Pansexual hedonist, plus that accent"

"It’s the voice (also everything else they do)"

"intelligent, considerate, and nonbinary"

"the voice, the gender, the everything"

"Nonbinary. hot."

"The origin of Night yorb is their name. Orc satanist. Gnc. Buisness owner. The child and parent of ayda (my beloved.) But most of all they just got it going on. Milkshakes to the yard and all that"

"this is honestly objectively true. gold gardens. they’re just fuckable. their art? their tattoos? that fucking accent?????????? beautiful handsome attractive kind"

"They’re just. Hot. The pirate theme is smth but also just, they’re shirtless and full of good fashion honestly I would kill for the chance"

"they are a truly GORGEOUS individual, and their fashion sense is second to none. Garthy seems to be a bit of a cheeky flirt to be sure, but they're also a deeply caring & emotionally tuned-in person, & I reckon their foreplay & aftercare game goes buckwild. 10/10 would love to have a several-week-long pleasure binge at the Gold Gardens after a hard year's adventuring. They've got a 21 in charisma & if you didn't realise that just seeing them for the first time, you'll know it for sure after your first night with them! ;)"

"have you seen them. their whole thing is fucking people. HAVE YOU SEEN THEM. canonically fucks incredibly well"

"Look they run a brothel and they've had sex with both parts of a monogamous couple they know what to do ok. And their vibes are so comforting I love them. And also they're hot."

"Their whole deal + Descended from celestials specialized in fucking people into being decent."

[sycamorre]

Can I please get the whole girl gang with Ori, Mela, Vaela, and Riven!

[send me a character]

Oh boy you're making me do my homework over here!

Oriana —

Favorite thing about them: I'm going to be incredibly non-specific and say that her growth as a character was my favorite part of playing her. She started out as this uptight, dutiful monk who was scared to show her own face too much for fear of making people mildly uncomfortable (and honestly to avoid invasive questions) to someone who was finally getting comfortable with who they were was such a blast. I love her newly-acquired confidence and the dynamic it brings to her post-campaign. She's far from perfect, and never will be, but she's maturing and making a new purpose for herself other than being someone's errand girl.

Least favorite thing about them: She is the worst pessimist in the world and sometimes her logic is so quick to jump to the worst conclusions that she literally puts her foot in her mouth. And it hurts for me to write that every single time due to secondhand embarrassment but I have to commit.

Favorite line: "She loved you! She still loves you!" at the Prince during the final fight while she's trying to distract him (or something like that). Or Ori's first jab at Damak "Maybe you would see more of it if you stepped out of the shadows" since it still makes me chuckle.

brOTP: Even though the Ori/Damak ship didn't sail, I still think they probably stay pretty close and end up working together on jobs in the future. They absolutely still push each other's buttons, but that's just how they are and they don't question it.

OTP: I am so mad at myself retroactively for not giving into the OriRanna feels by the conclusion of the campaign but I do not regret bringing it up afterwards and getting to enjoy it now at least.

nOTP: Ori and Cobalt are forever divorced and they barely know each other, this is just canon.

Random Headcanon: Ori has a hard time accepting the fact that Sharaea is basically keeping her distance after the Prince's defeat. In part because she does feel that connection still and worries that Sharaea is hurting, and partially because it is such a strange sensation to her to be without the dreams for so long after such a major revelation. It takes her a long time to get used to it, but she still wishes that there was more she could do.

Unpopular Opinion: I don't know if it's an unpopular opinion among our little group, but I never had intentions of making Oriana some kind of fated hero. I never had thoughts of making her tied to a major NPC or giving her any kind of serious destiny, I just wanted to play a radiant energy bomb with the aasimar/monk combo because I thought it would be funny once I pitched the idea to Sam and he told me about Damak who was basically her foil. But I do adore how her story developed and how well it ended up narratively.

Song I associate with them: So many... "Like the Dawn" by The Oh Hellos, "Warrior" by AURORA, and "Drumming Song" by Florence + The Machine to name a few.

Favorite picture of them: I like a lot but honestly one of my favs is the one I made of Chibs trying to hit on her, partly because it's Chibs and partly because I did really like how Ori's outfit came out in this one.

Mela —

Favorite thing about them: Literally the most wholesome member of the group. Not a bad bone or crystal in her body. I am so sorry for all that we put her though.

Least favorite thing about them: Only that I didn't get enough time to learn more about her and her backstory. Sigh.

Favorite line: "Real neighbors. Real family. Not just people that make you feel like you can pretend it doesn't exist."

brOTP: Mela and Halion. Druid buddies that deserve the world.

OTP: Mela is an independent Genasi who don't need no one... though I could be swayed about a certain fae...

nOTP: Literally anyone who would try to be mean to her in a relationship will meet a swift end by my hand.

Random Headcanon: 100% think that Mela's magic is flavored to look like the crystals on her body. If she wildshapes and doesn't specifically want to look a certain way, the animal she changes into will have things like crystal horns/claws, the flame sword she summons has the appearance of a crystal blade, etc.

Unpopular Opinion: I do wish she had gotten a chance to use wild shape more. I think Mela being a cute little critter sneaking around would have been amazing.

Song I associate with them: "Come Out and Play" by Billie Eilish

Favorite picture of them: That dang sketch I never colored, rip

Vaela —

Favorite thing about them: Drinking game QUEEN. Also just the fact that she doesn't take any shit while still having a lot of heart and empathy to those who earn it. Something about that balance between the two just made her all the more lovable.

Least favorite thing about them: she can out-drink my high constituion monk I do think I missed out on really getting to know her during the campaign, and I regret that a lot.

Favorite line: Not a specific line but I think back to Vaela's talks with Erosen when he was ready and willing to be her stand-in dad before Vaela was ready to reach back out to her family and i can't help but smile.

brOTP: Vaela, Riven, and Mela is the real brot3 and nothing can change my mine

OTP: I mean... I definitely have a certain paladin that turns a lovely shade of pink when someone talks about her because she sure is pretty and really cool to boot~

nOTP: Zaresh and his memory is not allowed to ever hurt Vaela again. If Damak didn't do it, Ori would have definitely put him out of his misery.

Random Headcanon: Very little thing, but I could see her gathering small, light trinkets that remind her of her friends and tie them to her bow, possibly for good luck, and possibly as a way to to tell which direction the wind is blowing when she's aiming.

Unpopular Opinion: I still think it would have been cool for her to pull an Erosen and punch Zaresh in the face. Just once.

Song I associate with them: "Dear Fellow Traveler" by Sea Wolf

Favorite picture of them: So fun fact: I never finished them but I started making emojis of the party members for kicks and here's the one I started of Vaela:

Riven —

Favorite thing about them: Riven's sassiness and perfect comedic timing always leaves me in stitches. She really felt like the heart of the party in that way.

Least favorite thing about them: This is the hardest thing and most of my "least favorite" things are mostly the things Oriana keeps fretting about when she thinks about Riven being in such a high position so I'm gonna go with not much at this time to be honest.

Favorite line: Not a line again, but specifically the scene between Ori and Riven where Riv dressed her up while Ori reassured her that she didn't think any less of Riven after they all found out about her half-drow heritage. That always felt like a major point in their friendship and I hold onto it fondly.

brOTP: I wanna say Riven and Halion just because I think their friendship was so neat, and it hurts a bit when I think about their falling out post-campaign. But there's also Riv and Damak's sibling-ish dynamic that I love a lot, too.

OTP: As much as he pushes Ori's nerves, I do think Riv and Delethil are on the same wavelength as each other and fit very well together, even with Eravin in the mix.

nOTP: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Random Headcanon: On the occasions where Oriana comes up to Aerenth on business (either with Ranna for her research or at the request of various Tyados officials who think she's got some kind of in with them because she's friends with Riven), Ori always makes a point to find Riven and any of the other girls that might be there with them after all the formalities are done and run off into the woods to find a clearing to just hang out in like they did before.

Unpopular Opinion: As much as I understand the reason why she and Del made the choice to execute Vasion, I still disagree that it was the best decision.

Song I associate with them: "Savage Daughter" by Sarah Hester mostly because of the rebellious vibes

Favorite picture of them: I mean... I think it's obvious (also bonus Vaela).

[silvysartfulness]

Talk Shop Tuesday: How do you decide which scene in a chapter of HHaR to illustrate? And are there any scenes that you'd like to illustrate but haven't had time/energy/etc.?

It’s always a careful see-saw balance between “interesting scene from the chapter that I would enjoy drawing and think people would like to see drawn” and “I’m a lazy, low-spoon disaster and will cop out on anything too complicated”..!

For example, I absolutely hate drawing interior settings, so you will notice there are very few detailed indoor scenes - and the times they spend entire chapters indoors and I can’t escape it, the settings tend to be very vague. So usually, if I have the choice, I’ll avoid any scenes taking place inside.

Drawing unnamed, random npcs/crowds is also boring/taking too many spoons, so again I tend to avoid those (or making the people around them silhouettes or just very roughly sketched background figures). Architecture is another headache – if I have decent refs and I really want to convey the atmosphere of a place, I’ll sometimes draw cityscapes, but I’m a happier artist when I don’t have to.

So in short, if I can get away with character close-ups or doing landscape backgrounds, that’s what I’ll likely go for, especially if I’m a bit low on spoons!

Sometimes I really do want to capture something more complex, though �� the latest one, with Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji as guest stars took me forever to draw, because I hadn’t drawn those two before, and I had to start by going through the last few episodes of the series to screengrab a whole bunch of refs, and then actually draw their faces, decide on which of their outfits I wanted to draw, then find refs for that etc. It took a lot of time and work. 🥲

And yeah, there are absolutely many scenes I would love to see drawn, even though I don’t have the time or energy for it – there’s a reason I so often wish for commission slots for birthdays and Christmas! I love to see others tackle those scenes! Xue Yang and Xiao Xingchen meeting on the bridge in Hongqi, the three of them cuddled up together in the ruins of Dushou, the trio walking toward the temple of Yanxia Guan, almost drowning in the river after fighting the catfish yao… I’ve been blessed with so many gorgeous commissioned works!

Not to mention the amazing fanart some people have given me! It takes my breath away every time someone decides to draw something from the story just because they felt inspired to, absolute pure magic! The best feeling in the whole world! 😍

As for specific scenes I would love to see drawn, either scraping my own spoons together or commissioning others to… 🤔

Song Lan possessed by the mist spirits and fighting Xue Yang is such a striking visual in my mind, with his white eyes and mist trailing from nose and mouth!

Song Lan dragging/carrying a crying, drunk Xue Yang up the stairs and into his room in Muaishan, or possibly the following utter breakdown.

Song Lan’s shock when Xue Yang tells him about the death sentence awaiting him in Jinlintai and/or the follow-up shock when Xiao Xingchen is let in on it.

Xiao Xingchen and Xue Yang by the little impromptu shrine Xue Yang made for Jin Guangyao

More art of the three of them cuddling in Dushou, tbh, because it’s the first time they allow themselves to snuggle up that way on purpose, all three of them, and I love that for them! 🥰

The smut scenes – I’ve only drawn one of those. Now that we can’t post porn on tumblr anymore, it feels like there’s little point to put in all that work, because I couldn’t share such art in many places. But I still love to see it!

I originally wanted to draw the trio and Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji having dinner and talking together for chapter 57, but was once again defeated by old nemesis - interiors. It was bad enough drawing 5 detailed characters in a single illustration, I would not also have to deal with walls and furniture and stuff. 😒

That's some of the ones that come to mind! So many scenes, so few spoons! (And apparently I'm supposed to be writing the damn thing, too! 😭)

Thank you so much for asking! 💚

[chronicallycozygamer]

Wylde Flowers

Played on: iPad 9th generation, with 8BitDo Ultimate Bluetooth controller

Accessibility: ★★★★★

Storyline: ★★★★★

Game mechanics: ★★★★☆

If you love Harvest Moon/Story of Seasons and its descendants like Stardew Valley, Wylde Flowers is for you. It’s available on Steam, Nintendo Switch and Apple Arcade and offers several hours of cozy playtime for you to enjoy. It has won several awards already and for good reasons: Wylde Flowers brings an interesting and relatable female protagonist, a very diverse cast of characters and what it lacks in customization, it makes up in stellar voice acting and a wonderful soundtrack. And yes, just like most of these farming simulators, there are romanceable characters, but finding love is not a requirement - you can enjoy the entire game while staying friends with everyone if no one catches your eye. I personally chose to date however, because it’s something I enjoy in those games, and I’d like to suggest you wait until Summer to choose (not everyone you can pick is already in town is the only thing I’ll say).

As someone who’s dexterity is not the best, I was pleasantly surprised to find that every task and activity on your farm can be performed with a single button. Watering your crops, fishing, cutting down trees, splitting boulders - same button, no button mashing, no complex mini-game (looking at you Stardew), etc. The energy bar is well balanced and you can easily recover energy in various ways throughout the game. Also, there is no chance of you passing out due to exhaustion since if you try to perform an action that requires energy on an empty bar, Tara will alert you that she’s out of strength and that she should eat something. No more accidental axe swing that lends you at the clinic!

The storyline seemed a little confusing at first, what with being dropped in the game without the eternal “You have inherited a farm” prologue, but within a few in-game days, you should understand what’s happening. Tara (the name of your character) has come to Fairhaven for a reason, but it’s your job to find her purpose. The game has choice based conversations at many points, where you choose a little bit of Tara’s personality, priorities, and interests. Do you like the cold? Did you prefer the city to this little farm? It’s never anything major but it’s enough for Tara to feel more like you, if you choose to do so. These also influence how others react to you and how certain events play out, which gives this game a nice replay value.

The diversity in my opinion is some of the best I’ve seen in a video game like this. Sure, there might be the odd Black character in other games, but how many times have you played a game where the NPCs are not three limited shades of peach? From Damon Mthembu-Haas (South African) to Giva Joshi (Indian), the game has a range of ethnicities and religious backgrounds (save some beeswax for the menorah, thank me later) that are believable and not just forced diversity. Not only is the cast diverse in race, but also in gender and sexuality - nonbinary, gay, lesbian, plenty of characters are at least implied to be bisexual (yours included if you decide). The game has been a GLAAD nominee in the 34th iteration of the awards for its representation, so this isn’t just a personal opinion. The only unbelievable part is that everyone, regardless of their own identity, accepts everyone else for who they are, something that unfortunately doesn’t happen often enough in the real world.

Now, the only reason I didn’t give the game mechanics full mark is because of two things: time limits and confusing heart events schedule. While similar farm simulators have always had events, in Wylde Flowers, some things have very time dependent. Complete these specific quests before a festival for example, but these quests are given to you in quick succession and suddenly you have several crops to grow as quick as possible and recipes to make before a certain day. Or (slight spoilers) we must change the season quick or else everyone is in trouble and certain things keep going wrong. If there’s one thing I don’t like in life, it’s being rushed. I’d like to enjoy my days without wondering if my fennel is going to be ripe in time to save a life, thank you very much. For the hearts events, the characters aren’t always where you expect them to be on their schedule and it’s hard to find where you’re supposed to meet them without looking it up. If you’ve memorized that Lina is at her store from 8AM to 5PM except for Thursday and Sunday (where she can be found in the woods), it’s very possible that you’ll miss her standing in front of the school one day (during school hours!) for a friendship event.

However, the game itself is remarkable. If you have hours to spare and a need for coziness, give Wylde Flowers a try. Wishlist it and let Studio Drydock know that you enjoy their work, we could use more games like theirs!

[fragileswift1313]

Need for Speed Unbound!

Or as I like to call it, High-speed Head-on Collision Simulator 2022

Kia ora, friends!

This is gonna just be a short one this week due to ongoing mental and physical health issues, but on that front I have some news: I think I’m slowly but surely getting better!

But anyway, I wanted to talk a little bit about Need for Speed Unbound this week because I have been playing it a lot over the last few weeks (when I have had the energy) and I can’t think of a game in recent history that has made me rage quit and want to throw my controller so many times but still is able to pull me back in. I love a good arcade racer; my favourite series in this genre is obviously Forza Horizon (and to a lesser extent Forza Motorsport, which I am still excited for in October), but I have been known to dip into Need for Speed now and then. This latest entry, launched last year, recently came to Xbox Game Pass, so I decided to check it out.

My first dive into this game was via Xbox Cloud Gaming and y’all, that service is great for some games, but for a game as fast-paced as Need for Speed Unbound, I absolutely do not recommend it 😅. Playing it this way, I was constantly crashing into things that I didn’t see because the frames fell out, so it didn’t take long for me to decide to make some space on the tiny Xbox Series S internal storage and download the game to play locally. Once I got that out of the way, I started to have a blast… for a while. My TV, which was 1080p, died a couple of months ago, so since then I’ve been using a TV I borrowed from my sister, which is 720p, and let me tell you, again for a game like this, it’s… a less than optimal way to play. Once I started getting into faster and faster cars, I started crashing into things again. A lot. This isn’t a failure of the game itself, I don’t think, I’m just playing it in a really stupid way 😭.

Apart from all the technical stuff I just mentioned, Need for Speed Unbound is really fun. I think my favourite part, though, has been customising my character, as well as the paint/wraps on some of my cars.

I wish I had more pictures of the different outfits I’ve had my character wear, (I haven’t had the time to go back to the game before writing) but I still really like this look. And oh boy do I love that car. It’s one of the cars the game gives you in the beginning, a Nissan GT-R from I want to say 1997 (or thereabouts), and it’s fast, great at drifting, extremely hot, but the best thing of all: I made it look queer and non-conforming as fuck.

The game limits what you can write on your cars, I assume because it’s possible other players could see it, so it wouldn’t let me write ‘queer’ or ‘gay’ or ‘bitch’ or ‘fascist’ - those first two are kind of bonkers considering the amount of queer representation this game contains, but I digress. So I substituted ‘fascist’ with the succinct ‘fash’, and instead of ‘basic bitch’ I wrote ‘basic beach’, which the latter is honestly kind of better anyway.

The racing is fun, though frustrating sometimes thanks to the game only giving you a maximum of retries per in-game 24-hour period, but what really stands out to me is that there is so much queer representation here - like way more than I’d have ever expected from a Need for Speed. There’s one NPC racer you meet and race against named Justicia who is from Mexico and is openly transfem. There are signs around the city that say things like ‘love is love’, or simply have the pride flag on them. And as you may have noticed on my car in the pictures above, you can just put the pride flag and trans flag all over your car if you want - and not just that, they have every single type of pride flag I could think of, which blew me away. Seriously, more games need to be this open about supporting queer communities. There’s also a bunch of representation for people all over the world - the music in Need for Speed Unbound includes tracks in Arabic, Japanese, Spanish, French, and a few I couldn’t nail down just by listening, and it’s honestly super refreshing.

Anyway, that’s all from me this week. Sorry if it feels a bit like it was put together at the last minute because, well, it was, but I wanted to make sure I had something for you.

Thanks so much for reading, y’all, I appreciate it. As always, if you have any comments or questions, hit me up on the social links at the bottom of the page, or flick me an email! If you want to read more stuff from me, you can check out my Letterboxd reviews! This week I reviewed Robot Jox (1989), which I believe may have inspired some of the aesthetics of things like Neon Genesis Evangelion and Pacific Rim.

Stay safe and warm out there (or safe and cool, if you’re in the northern hemisphere!) y’all, and I’ll talk to you all again really soon. Ka kite anō au i a koe. 💚

Rebecca

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[atopearth]

Crisis Core -Final Fantasy VII- Reunion Review

Personally, I'm not a fan of Crisis Core or Zack (blasphemy, I know) because when I first played the original, I felt like it was trying way too hard to connect every little thing to the original Final Fantasy VII and banking in on that nostalgia so that everything is related and you're like "oh, that's connected, and that too" blah blah, and it just didn't feel like the game had its own personality. Anyway, I don't believe I ever ended up finishing the original so we'll see if my impressions will change now that time has passed and I've kinda accepted that Square Enix will milk Final Fantasy VII as much as they can and want to lol. The opening scene is basically similar if not the same as Final Fantasy VII and seeing Zack doing squats really made me remember that I definitely did play Crisis Core because I was like, I remember that scene! Genesis sounds familiar but rings no bells, most likely because I thought he was a boring character, and all I remember about Angeal is him carrying the Buster Sword. Genesis is a First Class Soldier who took some other Second Class and Third Class Soldiers with him and left or something? 🤔 This is definitely a remaster though because the graphics have improved but definitely not as good as the Final Fantasy VII Remake which is understandable.

I keep thinking circle is dodge and instead waste all my potions😭😭 Anyway, I was wondering why Wutai and Shinra were at war, but I guess I should have known, what else could it be about aside from Shinra wanting more areas to expand their use of mako energy😅 I remember meeting young Yuffie! It's kinda funny to see those hand motions she does when she's not a block, it's actually pretty silly looking and doesn't have the same effect as when she's a block tbh haha! I wonder how old she is right now? 10? Hmm, so Angeal and Genesis come from the same hometown. Oh wow, I don't need such a sad story for the Buster Sword, Angeal's father died trying to repay the debt for making that sword for Angeal when he first joined Soldier?? And here is Cloud in FFVII swinging it around like it's nothing🥲 How very cruel of Genesis to come back to his hometown and kill the townspeople. And why did Angeal have to kill his mother? Bahamut was kinda cute. I remember why I don't remember Genesis, he was annoying to me😅 How very sad that there's that NPC kid who thought his mother would spend more time with him after Genesis and Angeal died but she's still too obsessed about groupie things to give him attention... Poor kid. Even Genesis copies have wings? Ooh Cissnei is cute, I like her hair🤔 Renoo, my favourite boy. Anyway, so I guess Genesis and Angeal are failed versions of Sephiroth in which Hollander wanted to replicate? Poor Angeal and Genesis are deteriorating and dying.

Well, how very convenient to connect everything between Aerith and Cloud to be basically the same as how she spent her time with Zack lol. Like, do we need to make it so blatant that even the way they meet is exactly the same just so we can say Aerith always loved Zack and only Zack? And how many times does this church get destroyed? Although I did enjoy Zack flirting with Aerith and her being receptive to it to an extent, that was cute. One thing I find very interesting is one of the missions/quests with a little girl that's waiting for some uncle to come back, and in Japanese, it very clearly says the girl said she wanted to marry the uncle in the future, but in the subtitles, it says she wants to work for him in the future lol! Censoring the innocent dreams of a little girl? Anyway, so Zack promised to show Aerith a pretty sky one day huh? I'm not sure selling flowers would make them rich considering Aerith was selling them for like 1 gil or something in the original game haha. Anyway, what I think I don't like the most about this game is how much they want to push every single thing Aerith does to be related to Zack. Yeah, I acknowledge how important she was to him and stuff like that but it's annoying when every little thing is about him, like can they give her back her own sense of self too? Omgg squat games again?! I am sickkk of these lol. At least it's not as frustrating as the one in the Remake lol. I'm so invested in that kid's life, it's so sad that his mother is sick in bed now because of the news about Angeal/Genesis and he's like he'd rather be neglected and have her feel well than for her to be like this. Such a good kid. Yuckkkkk did that other little girl say the uncle she likes and thinks is nice has a job as a "don" in Wall Market and he's nice to girls and he's handsome??? Ewwww!!! Don Corneo? Ewww!! I mean, Don Corneo is funny as a block, but when it's realistic, he's just creepy and disgusting.

We have met Cloud!! He's such a cute little boy!! Anyway, I'm obviously not made for reconnaissance missions because I only got one treasure chest and lost the rest and just battled all the guards instead of hiding😅😅😅 Hollander is just a cheap Hojo, Crisis Core really just recycled everything about FFVII and called it a day. Honestly, Angeal dying was so random. I kinda wish they remade the story of Crisis Core instead of the Remake because it's so bland right now. It's kinda cute how Zack hung out with the Turks, they're like his friends! Man, the amount of random battles in this game is so annoying, I'm so tired of it. It makes the mundane story even more frustrating tbh. Anyway, I've really had enough of chasing Hollander, there's only so many times we can do this like seriously. Otherwise, I personally think Cissnei is a better fit for Zack than Aerith. And even Seventh Heaven is named that because of Zack? C'mon.... At least the mother and the kid are finally spending time together by working on the Angeal fan club together, that's kinda cute. And why does this game never mention Zack sending letters back to his parents and then "suddenly" stopping?🥲  Anyway, even though the wagon thing was annoying, I'd say it was hilarious when Zack's cool wagon was seen as a weapon and even security came for it🤣

That little kid has to be lying, how could it be possible for them to go on the Mt Nibel trail without encountering a single monster considering the crazy encounter rate in this game?? Aww I'm glad the code for the safe in the Shinra Mansion is much easier than the original hahaha, I was about to riot. I'm kinda sad they skipped the whole part where you go up the mountain to get to the mako reactor, I personally thought that part was nice and it would have been cool to see Sephiroth fight. I always find it so cute when you realise that Cloud was the Shinra soldier blocking Tifa from going into the reactor haha. Omgg and Genesis is now being inserted into the part where Sephiroth starts to go crazy after thinking about his true origins? Ughhh. I wish Genesis didn't ruin this moment with his annoying existence😮‍💨 But I guess the saddest thing is that we don't get to see the talk Zack had on the train with Cloud. Aw, I'm also sad that you don't get to run down the stairs to Vincent's place, that was the fun part! Aww it sucks that there's a quest to open coffins but you don't even get to see Vincent! It also sucks that even though Cloud sends Zack a mail about wanting to go home with him, you don't actually get to visit Cloud's mother with him, nor do you get to play the piano in Tifa's house! Anyway, fighting Sephiroth was easier than fighting these other random bosses.

I think it's sweet to see in Zack's memory of Aerith how much he cares about the things she says and how much he wants to go back to her at the risk of his life. Sweet but saddening. Wonder if they'll make it that Cissnei disappeared by the time of the original FFVII because she let Zack go or something, or maybe she got tired of Shinra. Anyway, doesn't matter I guess since we'll see if she'll appear in the Remake. Otherwise, it seems like we'll be forced to endure Genesis' existence again in the future if he's still alive, which is very unfortunate if he keeps citing Loveless. After some googling, it seems that Lazard was President Shinra's illegitimate son, I was wondering why the slums people kept talking about the president having an affair of some sort with a woman from the slums. Honestly though, considering how randomly he ended up just disappearing from Shinra and everything, I'm not sure what was the point of this part of the story other than him protecting Cloud near the end, but even then it wasn't a necessary part of the story. The Price of Freedom is a nice soundtrack but yeah, I can't say I felt much about the ending of Crisis Core other than being glad it was over tbh, which is very mean but I'm honestly tired. I think the only thing I'm a bit happy about is seeing and knowing how much Aerith and Zack thought about each other and cared for the other until the end. Maybe they can finally reunite in the Remake considering the changes. Seeing the beginning of the original FFVII makes me think maybe it's time to play it again but maybe I'll do that after the second part of the Remake instead lol.

Overall, young me was right and knew my tastes well. Young me back in the day didn't want to play Crisis Core because I knew I wouldn't like it so I never bothered playing it until my bro got a PSP and I tried it but gave up halfway because it was boring. Since the Remaster came out, I thought I would try again especially since I hated the original battle system and this Reunion one is so much better! Honestly, I'd give the game a 5-6/10 mainly because I found the battle system quite enjoyable even though it was limited. The other points would be given to Zack for being a happy puppy but honestly, Zack isn't very memorable to me because I don't feel like he ever established himself as a proper character for me in this story. He was nice but forgettable and he's basically what he was described as in the original so nothing much to add. Aerith has none of the spark she has in the original tbh so nothing to say. Cissnei was cute and I guess it was nice to see how much Tseng cared for both Zack and Aerith but now it feels weird to think of Tseng liking Aerith despite his rather close relationship with Zack. Anyway, whatever I guess. 

Angeal was okay but forgettable too, and I honestly wish I could forget Genesis' existence. I would have felt sorry for him if he wasn't so frustrating to listen to and see. His existence in the story just makes me want to bang my head. Sephiroth didn't have the same impact as he did in the original but it was nice to see him being friendly. I guess other than the terrible story that had cheap copies of Hojo and Sephiroth, I also didn't really like the vibe of Crisis Core because it relies on your love for the original FFVII, but it doesn't have the fun and magic of the original and never establishes itself as it's own individual game with its own charm imo. Maybe other people will say otherwise because I'm sure alot of people like Crisis Core but I personally find it boring and I regret playing it because it added nothing of substance to me other than thinking yeah I guess Aerith and Zack are kinda cute but the chemistry is still lacking imo. I'll miss the battle system but I won't miss the encounter rate and hearing activating combat mode every 5 steps.

[wepsi]

Obey me brothers playing Stardew Vally!

Another day another fanfic, as someone with 500 hours in stardew I love this game and would love to imagine the om bros playing it with you! Part 2 up now

He would prefer just playing with you and him, he doesn't need to deal with his brothers outside of reality.

Spends his time either in the mines or fishing because it's relaxing.

Will slay monsters for you in the mines, and protect you.

Gets mad if he ever dies, it hurts his pride.

Always got mad at Levi for yelling at his game too loud, well...now he gets it even if he never will admit it.

Takes good care of his dog, names it Cerberus and never lets his water bowel go empty.

"Don't worry my dear, these pathetic slimes will not harm a hair on your head."

Will be ALL OVER THE PLACE in the game, boy has energy for years

Will do any and every aspect of stardew that even remotely made money.

make sure your money is separate or he will spend it all!

Even with all his money making activities he still somehow find a way to be glued to you.

Excitedly tells you how much he made from the shipping bin (please tell him he did a good job)

Never sells straight to the store will always put everything in a shipping bin to see all the cash rack up at the end of the day.

Will definitely get married with you in game and have kids <3

"AHAHAHA The great mammon made 30,000 today, aren't cha proud of me?"

Levi probably has a ungodly amount of hours in this game and know every single thing about it, at this point he's just seeing how fast he can finish everything.

Won't spoil the game for you but will give you hints to the right direction (green is lucky bet on that color).

Good at every aspect of the game, mining? fishing? foraging? farming? ranching? he's got it all.

You honestly don't even need to try in this game he will spoil you and shower you in whatever you wanted.

His favorite character is Abigail, purple haired gamer girl yes please, whom he always romanced before meeting you.

When you get jealous and upset after learning that, he shyly presents the wedding ring he grinded the mines for (prismatic shards are hard to come by!).

"Um... here's a wedding ring. Nononono I'm not proposing this is to get the last stardrop in the game I swear! (blushes madly behind the screen glad you couldn't see him)"

You know this man will be obsessed with his pet cat, petting it every day and making sure the water bowel is full like his life depended on it.

Dies of cuteness everytime the cat snuggled with him in bed.

Waiting for that [pet]loves you note to appear and it makes him so happy.

Spends most of his time looking for books and reading them in game at the library.(who actually reads those in game? he does!)

From reading all the wiki he knows literally everything about the game as well, will spoil the game.

"Did you know in the fair if you bet on green you will have a 75% chance of winning?"

Spends his time befriending and chatting up all the npcs, so confusing why they don't like him from the get go because of his dazzling beauty!

Will spends YEARS on character customization

Also spends his time getting all the clothes and accessories, because he has to change up his beautiful look every now and then!

Will marry you to constantly give you a bunch of kisses!!! <3

Will also do the unspeakable with you every night XD thankfully you can only have two kids in stardew.

Somehow becomes best friends with emily and the wizard to change his look whenever he wants (befriending sorcerers is just his thing ig.

If he wasn't dating you he would be flirting with every npc until the fateful scene lol

"Hailey is so mean to me! >:( She must be jealous of my mesmerizing looks! Now never mind that my darling come give me a kisssss."

You had to get Solomon to open a portal to the kitchen cabinet so he doesn't constantly get up to go eat

The only brother beside Levi that actually farms so he can get ingredients

Gets the Kitchen upgrade first thing and cooks and eats all day in the game even if his energy is full, eating in game also makes him hungry in real life EVERY TIME

Hangs out at Gus all day, probably eating Gus out of his business as well

Gave his character a mouth so he can eat (haha so cute)

Will want to play with Belphie and you and present you guys with new recipes he cooked.

"I cooked 2000 survival burgers today would you like some?"

Why sleepy?because it rhymes with Belphie! Actually he mistyped when he feel asleep halfway through the customization and went with it.

Only playing because you and Beel asked him

Wanted to wear matching outfits with Beel, or is he too lazy to pick his own we will never know

Will nap all day in game and in real life as well, you keep having to get up and go to his computer to hit ok for the next day

The times he is awake he will probably follow you and Beel around to cheer you guys on whatever it is that you're doing

His favorite part is when you snuggle in bed with him at the end of each day in game.

"Come and snuggle with me...actually just turn off the game and snuggle with me in real life I'm getting lonely here."

Check out my master list for more content!

[kuroken-lovechild]

How haikyuu characters would play genshin impact:

//featuring me nerding out about mbti types 😔

Karasuno

Hinata

As an ESFP he would probably choose his main based on who feels good to use

Quick movements, lots of jumping, strong = XIAO MAIN (probably finds the flashiness and edginess cool and enjoys the button mashing too)

would aggressively compete with kageyama on who can beat spiral abyss the fastest and with the shortest time

unfortunately they’re both not very good (initially because kenma helps him out after)

Would try to follows the plot but dialogue goes over his head

Does not understand stats other than attack at first

Wish impulse is real and never has any primos

would attempt to talk to every npc

Kageyama

META SLAVE

Has no idea what wishing/gacha is at first and builds his starters really well

Then he found out and currently mains Ganyu, Zhongli, Hutao for the big numbers

gloats about his first 5 star to hinata

Does not talk to NPCs at all and barely digs into the story

only there for spiral abyss and to make his characters stronger

Tsukishima

Didn’t wanna play until yamaguchi dragged him in to have someone to co op with

Appreciates the story and lore more than the gameplay aspect

Eula, razor (cv uchiyama kouki) main—easy to build, easy to use

Doesn’t care about wishing either

Got Eula by accident and now holds it over kageyama’s head

Has really good artifact RNG that it infuriates kagehina (gloats about it to fan the flame 😚)

Yamaguchi

he’s infp he chooses based on characters he likes 🥺

Diluc, albedo, ayaka main

(i can’t explain why I think he’d like those three, it just Makes Sense)

Co ops with tsukki and yachi, plays both dps and support

Spiral abyss makes him anxious but he pushes through anyway!!

Daichi

Starter team king 😩

Feels bad about switching his regular team out FJDFJDJJDDJ DAICHI

Probably a casual player though

Plays to coop with suga and tanaka but they carry him through domains

he’s trying his best

Suga

Mains based on whoever’s fun to play too!!

but enjoys more of a challenge

Childe main

Waiting for Scaramouche to drop hAha 🥲 and harbingers in general

Appreciates the plot and is very interested in lore!!

Diligently does spiral abyss

Doesn’t quite wish on impulse, but if theres a character he likes he’ll spend everything on their banner

Asahi

Does not play, got too scared (see: haikyuu ova)

Nishinoya

Rolls VERY much on impulse

Similar to hinata in that he also likes playing playstyles that feel good

Xiao and/or yoimiya main

(xiao because he’s short jk)

Probably raised Rosaria and planned to use her

Plot who???? we only care about world exploration and fighting in this house

Tanaka

wished for all the women, raised all the women, uses all the women

valid

Primarily mains Rosaria, ningguang and Lisa though

sorry beidou you remind him of his sister too much

waiting for signora like many of us are

Coops with noya and has INSANELY bad rng luck

Yachi

Also chooses based on characters’ personalities

gay, mains sucrose and jean

isfj child and probably feels bad about the underrated characters :(

uses amber, xinyan and qiqi too!

Raises all characters but hasn’t raised anyone to 90

Coops with yamaguchi and uses jean (as healer, support, damage dealer)

Talks to NPCs and sympathizes with their sad backstories

Gets too anxious to do spiral floors 9-12 too (mood)

Seijoh

Oikawa

Oh boy

this ENFJ 3w2 guy? you KNOW he’s gonna be the best

As long as it doesn’t clash with volleyball of course

Very VERY competitive in abyss

Has one character hed get attached to but doesn’t limit himself to using them only

Incredibly focused on team synergy, carefully crafts teams to bring out the best in each character

Tests best damage output too

But also he’d probably use meta characters and secretly raise the ones he actually likes?

Current fave: Yoimiya

Uses strong characters for coop but uses his faves for single player domains (or coop with iwaizumi)

Likes characters but surprisingly wouldnt be too invested in the plot

does not whale out of pride

Iwaizumi

Geo user

Uses characters he finds respectable in the storyline + hard hitters

Razor, klee, jean main but unaware of the family relationship

Sometimes uses beidou although her burst takes too long sometimes

Pretty casual player, only started because of Oikawa

Hanamaki

obviously he and matsukawa would make zhongli pillar dick jokes

Kaeya and beidou main (he thinks they’re cool)

Not that impatient to wait for bursts to charge or has a lot of energy recharge

whale

Matsukawa

……. Hutao main

funeral home

Would use qiqi and hutao together for the meme then grows to genuinely like qiqi

Saves up for a really long time then spends it all at once

Kindaichi

Doesn’t play much tbh

Offline for a week, comes back to do commissions for one day, leaves

Kunimi

Hed be pretty good

but lazy and forget to do dailies

then buy welkin moon instead

Focuses more on the story too rather than gameplay and points out loopholes

Mains whoever he has in his team with good synergy (like chongyun xingqiu xiangling)

Kyoutani

Rage quits 5 minutes in after hearing paimon’s voice 😔

Throws his phone at the wall

Yahaba

Simps for jean

Mains jean

Dedicated to dailies and spiral abyss

But doesn’t wish that much

Was the one who tried getting kyoutani into it and suffered the consequences

Nekoma

Kuroo

ENTP king raises a whole arsenal of characters for spiral abyss

I cant see him really getting attached to one in particular ?

makes zhongli pillar dick jokes every chance he can get

but also uses him for utility

Wants to try using a whole bunch of characters and wishes on every banner

But uses the meta ones with good team comps

sparks twitter debates with ….. interesting takes

“_____ is completely shit”

Kenma

OH BOY HES A GAMER GAMER

Whale whale whale whale

He’s tony to

Best synergy teams, understands the value of elemental mastery, REALLY values good supports, calculates possible damage numbers

Kazuha, zhongli, bennett, venti are a staple in his teams

Helps hinata and kuroo until kuroo teases too much by deliberately playing horribly

mildom and youtube streamer like murase ayumu

Appreciates story and lore very much too

Yaku

he’d LOVE the children

Probably would use characters that remind him of family members and friends

Klee, diona, qiqi, chongyun, xingqiu, razor, bennett

does spiral abyss but not obsessively

Lev

KENMA-SAN!!! LETS PLAY TOGETHER!!!

I’m sorry he would not know how the game works

Doesn’t do the ascension quests and gets stuck at AR 26 with 500k extra points

Thinks he’s amazing but it’s because he’s stuck at world level 1

I’m sorry lev ily but ……. its the truth

Tries pulling for everyone too and mains the first 5 star he got

(childe because he’s russian AKSHDKDHSKSHS /j)

Wants diluc and xiao because they look cool but gets Mona instead (doesnt understand how to use her)

Yamamoto

Also raises the women like tanaka but + kaeya

Lev complained to him about getting Mona while he’s wanted Mona for months

Not really a dedicated intense gamer EXCEPT for during those battle events

Fukurodani

Bokuto

WANTS THE STRONG AND COOL LOOKING 5 STARS

Eula, zhongli, diluc, xiao

but doesn’t know how to build either

doesn’t understand stats

would feel really bad for qiqi

Wouldn’t like signora for hurting venti :(

Wouldn’t like childe too :( until he plays the story quest and sees the ruin guard cutscene

then starts sobbing because of what a good brother he is

“AKAAAASSHI I wanna do that too!!!” then he dies

Tries to use childe but doesn’t understand the cool down management

Mispronounces and misspells tartaglia (タルタリア)

for more info on how bokuto plays genshin see Kimura ryohei’s YouTube channel ✨

Akaashi

the true childe main (just like me)

Uses characters based on utility

but mains whoever reminds him of bokuto FJDHFJFJDKSJ

Very good supports but unlike Kenma, he chooses and builds supports around his main

also uses very good supports so people won’t realize he’s using childe for the cv kimura ryohei (everyone knows anyway)

Literature nerd appreciates the plot, writing and deep lore too

Konoha

Tries pulling for everyone but has REALLY bad luck

Has really good characters but never the one he wants

loses all 50/50s and has a c4 qiqi

Ends up maining qiqi as dps

sorry konoha i didn’t mean to slander you

Shiratorizawa

Ushijima

does not know how to play or build

Uses whoever he has (aka starters)

Only plays because tendou downloaded and made an account for him

Doesn’t know how to ascend characters or farm

Forgets about talents (me)

Weirdly good RNG and doesn’t realize it 😩

“Let me look at your account wakatoshi-kun”

“Sure”

“You didn’t tell me you had 6 of jean’s Stella fortuna???”

“What’s that?”

Tendou

this man pulls for the seiyuus

Mains childe, hutao, mona for 5 stars

childe and hutao’s instinct based quickswap playstyle works so well for him!

jokes about cosplaying mona then actually does

Knows how to build, grinds, and manages ushijima’s account for him

Probably whales too

Shirabu

Meta meta meta meta

But f2p meta

Loves setting up reactions

More into the lore too and researches theories

Remembers actual names of boss drops

Semi: so how many of those buttplugs do you have again

Shirabu: 💢stop calling them buttplugs, they have actual names 💢

VERY diligent with battle pass, dailies, achievements and spiral abyss full stars

Until he //SPOILERS gets into med school and has no time for shit

Inarizaki

Atsumu

Would have a crush on a character I just know it

Invests heavily on his faves and is great at utilizing each of them

fussy . complains about a certain unit and how they can improve

or complains about how the game can improve to osamu

Osamu: yer just saying that cuz you couldn’t get a high score

Archons main (already saving for the tsaritsa)

Wouldn’t have a main dps but several hard hitting supports

Whale and falls victim to the weapon banner

Osamu

More casual player than Atsumu but still tries to get higher than him in events and spiral abyss

If atsumu’s a whale, osamu’s a dolphin

Great at dodging

Catalyst user!!

Mains ningguang, klee, yanfei + other catalyst supports

Also uses keqing

Kita

the man appreciates routine aka VERY diligent with dailies, battle pass, farming

“if you do things properly results will follow” or whatever quote he said ✨

Starter team but raises other characters for abyss

Reads dialogue and appreciates the plot

Barely gachas

Aran

will defend TO THE DEATH the underappreciated characters

Has empathy for noelle 🥺🥺

Noelle, Barbara, xinyan, bennett, children user 🥺

Talks to every NPC and loves the backstories and lore

also would feel really bad for qiqi

Suna

Uses the tall men and women and builds them all as dps (childe zhongli diluc kaeya beidou ningguang jean lisa rosaria eula)

He’d probably make a support character a dps tbh

Disregards team synergy for the shits but somehow manages to do domains and abyss

Itachiyama

Sakusa

c6 everyone

leaves

[kxllerblond]

I’ve had this blog for HOW many years and I NEVER did one of these even when they were more in style. But I’m feeling SOFT tonight so f u c k it.

THE OBLIGATORY OG SHOUTOUT

@themelissapark I know you’re busy with life now but if you ever pop back on and see this I want you to know I’m so grateful to you and Melissa for being one of Clark’s first friends on here. Your company over the years has been much loved and Mel will forever have a place in Clark’s lore even after this hellsite crumbles and he’ll only live on in my head.

AND THEY WERE ROOMMATES!!

@no-file, @dogxfiend, @n0t-a-nice-person, @notanicepcrson & all your other blogs. You are the bestest of best friends and I love all of your muses and I love that we can shitpost on here AND inrl. Your Jacket will always be my one and only Jacket and will forever be my weird little canon/oc ship. 

THE VIP CLUB

@bitchheroine ask me however long ago if I’d even end up RPing with a Meg and I’d have laughed kfjgdfg. Meg has wormed her way into Clark’s heart as a great friend to shoot the shit with and I’m excited for the ship to come. I love their dynamic so much aaaa.

@1396 I know we’re newer mutuals but this is mY FF and I make the rules!! Your writing is??? So good,,,, I’ve only interacted with two across my blogs but I love everything you put out. And you’re super nice too!! I was pretty gosh darn intimidated when we first started writing but I’m glad I didn’t let that stop me because I absolutely adore our threads.

@mxthborn / @sanguisfulgur Love, love, love you guys. We don’t thread too terribly much but I absolutely adore seeing you on the dash. You two are so incredibly sweet and I love seeing you two interact on my dash.

@hellsholyground  @kittenstm  @royaltytm Hi, I would die for Dom and literally all your muses. Dom’s so sweet and a gremlin and I kinda do be vibing with his and Clark’s energy right now. Always liked seeing you on the dash and I never comment on mun posts but your hair and make-up and general style is so??? cool and I hope you know that. 

THE TALENT!!

@pryceism your writing is just phenomenal. I don’t know much about Wes if I’m being honest but what I’ve seen you just encompass his voice in your writing perfectly. 

@bulletballet We haven’t really threaded but I could go ON about how much I love seeing you around. Your world building and dedication to your muses and all the npcs and just the details are *chef’s kiss*. It absolutely warms my heart to see people be passionate about their characters and so INTO bringing them to life and honestly it inspires me to strive for that same level of passion. 

@dissolvedshadows I’m mega trash for not reaching out to do more because I adore Ana (and Caleb). Love seeing you and your aesthetically pleasing icons on my dash.

@demonstigma It may not show it because of how many I RP with but I admittedly have always been hesitant with demon blogs but I am so, so very glad I yet again did not let that stop me from following. Kage is such an interesting characters and I love the amusing dynamic he and Clark have going on.

HEART EMOJI @ y’all

I can’t stretch the dash more than I already have but I love every single one of you, like full on. Whether we’ve written together yet or not. Thank you so much for sticking around for my bastard muse and for interacting with me or just being on my dash and giving me some of that MMMM good serotonin with your fantastic writing. If I missed anyone pleeeease don’t take it personally I probably just like,,,,forgot because there’s so many amazing people to tag and also it’s 7am.

@diabolicaltendencies @badassxbirdy @jigscw @harkcr @aeipcthy @witchaotics @nclled @icarusiisms @liftedrelics @suncuts @dalphahale @nykrose @evermxre @hopexncarnate @thatrudeengineer @vxctorx @demottcm @ringonokami @foerge @formerlyrighteous​ @arthurthefaceless​

[meyerlansky]

since I watched u play thru marble nest and you had all those withheld Thoughts and Opinions can I ask ur thoughts on one aspect of the story: the way everyone in town seems to disagree on what kind of person dankovsky is, what he wants to do, etc.? it feels to me like it's meaningful on a story and meta level that he's so built up by others to be whatever they want to see?

admittedly most of those went unsaid because i’m inarticulate as shit when i can’t write my thoughts out and i lost my train of thought talking to npcs, and also all of them basically just end in "godDAMN i love him"

BUT YES oh man i definitely agree, daniil is on the receiving end of a TON of projection and assumptions, and i think the thing is, he sort of... cultivates it? like artemy gets people's assumptions projected on him too, but he's MUCH more vocal about correcting it when someone's expectations of him don't match up with how he sees himself. daniil, on the other hand, tends to wear people's perceptions of him like a second skin, and doesn't push back nearly as hard or as often when those perceptions don't sync up. i will be nice to my dash and put my rambly bullshit under a cut, but tl;dr i think daniil finds value in finding out how people see him and utilizing that perception to get what he really wants, and he's willing to play the villain in particular because a. negative perception is as useful as positive perception if you're clever enough to use it to your advantage, and b. based on some stuff in artemy's route but especially based on the particular circumstances of marble nest, he thinks that, to some degree, he deserves to be thought badly of.

so i realized halfway through writing this you probably meant marble nest's story specifically, but i think it's relevant to his characterization in artemy's route too, because... marble nest daniil is not that different from artemy route daniil, as far as i'm concerned—he's just more desperate and more beaten down. as for the actual question, overall i get the vibe that daniil's used to leveraging how he's perceived to get what he needs out of a situation, and he's waaay more comfortable playing the villain than, say, artemy is, if that's what people are putting on him from jump. it's less work, right? correcting people's assumptions is a waste of valuable time and energy, and people are hard to convince once they've set their mind to something. why bother when you can just play along and, if you're clever enough about it, get what you need out of the interaction anyway? he gets built up into so many different versions of himself by different characters because he's willing to be different things to different people without it eroding his goals or his sense of self. he has a flair for the dramatic, obviously, but i don't know how much of it is innate and how much of it is cultivated in service of that kind of perception leveraging. like, prime example, the day 1 conversation with artemy reads as EXTREMELY performative—from his word choice to his demeanor to the exclamation points in the dialogue to the fucking LIGHTING, he comes off like he's playing a role, and not a new one. and when the conversation's over, he's learned some things about what kind of person artemy is, what kinds of things get a rise out of him, all without really revealing too much of his own hand. but the front sloughs off the closer he gets to artemy, and it sloughs off QUICK, to the point that A DAY AND A HALF LATER he's gone from saying "you owe me" in the most facetious way possible to "i need your help" and "if this goes badly, i'll take the consequences" completely unselfconsciously, and subsequent conversations with artemy are complete turnarounds from how he approaches artemy and their relationship on day 1. on the whole, i think he cares way less about his reputation than he does about Getting Shit Done, and he's surprisingly willing to be the scapegoat for other people's fears and other negative emotions, as long as the end result doesn't hamper his goals. which makes some sense considering his corpus of research involves spitting directly in the face of natural law and the people who consider themselves responsible for enforcing it. you don't do that kind of shit if you care about being well-liked. so i think 99% of the time, daniil gets read multiple ways—often incorrectly—because he finds more value in utilizing those perceptions than he finds in correcting them and Being Known. as far as characters we see in the game go, artemy's the exception, which might change once daniil's route is out, but every comment everyone else makes to artemy about daniil leans on their assumptions about him, which means he's not going around showing anyone else what he really thinks.

i also think daniil has sort of... internalized that he's Unlikable, on a personal level. he doesn't walk into a single situation in p2 expecting to be liked, or willingly helped, or for his presence to be wanted beyond the utility he can provide. he relies almost entirely on his ability to deliver solutions [with, uh, declining success as the game goes on], the respect his reputation and his status as the kains' guest confers, and on the rumor that he's willing to get violent if things don't go his way. i think he's utterly convinced his ultimate goals will benefit humanity as a whole and therefore are fundamentally good, but i don't think he thinks HE'S good. there's a couple of moments in marble nest where he can pretty explicitly shoot down people saying nice things about him, and the "i guess i had to prove them right" and "do you condemn me?" lines in the shelter convo do not read to me like the words of a man who thinks he's 100% in the right in the way he's gone about achieving his goals. so like as much as i think he does have a very solid sense of Who He Is, i don't think it's a very generous self-image, and i don't think it's entirely accurate either, because i do think he's fundamentally a good person, despite people [in the game and out of it] not really bothering to push past whatever front he's put on. artemy pushes through it, and the kids in marble nest push through it, and i think it's somewhat telling that the kids in marble nest are... the only real people IN marble nest. georgiy undermining his authority as soon as he's indisposed is part of the fever dream; the soldiers and orderlies believing he's the one giving the okay to kill kids and civilians are part of the fever dream; the clerk assuming daniil will agree with his racist bullshit is part of the fever dream. all these negative images of himself are in his head—based on previous conversations with the real people, but at the time of marble nest, in his head. they're all things he, somewhere in his mind, expects people to think of him or expect of him, and to me, that's not the kind of stuff someone as arrogant and convinced of his own awesomeness as people seem to think daniil is would think about himself. but the kids worrying about his health and taking care of him while he's infected are real, and for whatever reason they think he's worth trying to save. THAT'S the reality, THAT'S who he really is, even if he can't see it himself, and i don't think he can.

so ANYWAY i think the multiplicity of daniils in marble nest in particular is to some degree a manifestation of the fact that he IS willing to be different things to different people, that he knows this about himself, and that he has SOME level of anxiety over the thought of the various masks becoming the reality, and him losing control over who he ACTUALLY is, not just how he's perceived. i think this bothers him in artemy's route as well—the last thing he says to artemy translates to "the greatest power is to have power over oneself" and i do not think he's talking about himself. i think he's talking about artemy, and the fact that, ESPECIALLY from daniil's perspective in artemy's route, artemy very much controls not only his own narrative, but at the very least strongly influences daniil's and everyone else's too. [there are also layers and layers with that line and the doll narrative but i am too tired to get into it right now and also the doll narrative fucks my feelings up in so many ways.] i have no idea if any of this makes any sense, but here it is /gestures weakly at All This

[radramblog]

On Pokemon Difficulty Hacks

When romhacking Pokemon first got big, you saw many an attempt to make proper fresh experiences and truly new games. Naranja, Quartz, Ruby Destiny and the like. The ambitious attempts of people who didn’t know just how much effort would be required to finish anything remotely resembling a finished product, though in fairness. Romhackers didn’t have teams, usually, maybe a couple helpers for spriting or beta testers, but the majority of people just wouldn’t have the time, energy, or lasting ambition to make something like that work.

In this era, where tools were limited but popularity was growing, it was perhaps unsurprising that many other hackers went for the “386” style of hack. Because, frankly, one of the first things someone is going to think of when it comes to making a Pokemon fangame is “what if you could catch all the Pokemon in one game?”. And from there, the train of thought naturally continues- if the player isn’t as restricted in teambuilding as the usual Regional Pokedex system makes them, why not have that for the NPCs as well? And while I’m at it, the games are usually really easy, and everyone playing them is going to be an enfranchised Pokemon fan, so why not pump up the difficulty a bit? Hence, the difficulty hack was born.

I suspect you can attribute much of the root of this to one man- Drayano, easily one of the most well-known romhackers around. The creator of Sacred Gold/Storm Silver, Fire Red Omega, Blaze Black/Volt White (and BBVW2), and of course, Renegade Platinum. I don’t well enough know if Dray popularized this kind of hack or just followed an existing trend, but (with the exception of FRO) the versions he created ended up being, and probably still are today, the definitive difficulty romhacks for their respective original titles. They weren’t just difficult, but they had a level of effort put into tuning their difficulty that most were unable to replicate- especially considering how difficult DS hacking was at the time and especially in Renegade Platinum.

Dray’s hacks were the only real hacks of their kind that I can think of getting major attention. They’re difficult but fair, making for a good gameplay experience, and thereby a good watching experience as youtubers, let’s players, and streamers flock to do playthroughs and catch ‘em alls and Nuzlockes. The nature of this kind of project means that only one version is really going to stand tall- sure, you could play Bloody Diamond or Obsidian, but why would you when you could just play Renegade Platinum? I will acknowledge that Obsidian was possibly the best Platinum hack before RenPlat, but its age is showing. The only exception I can think of is Fire Red Omega- owing to Gen 3 hacking being significantly easier and better explored, it had competitors, such as Yet Another Fire Red Hack by DoesntKnowHowToPlay or Fire Red Advanced by Z-nogyroP, among many others.

For the record, I have no doubt that with DS hacking becoming easier and better understood, SGSS, BBVW, and even RenPlat will be replaced in time. Possibly even soon- the scene got much bigger last year on account of breakthroughs and also people being stuck inside.

I would have thought, in 2021, that difficulty hacks would likely have died out, that they would have been replaced as resources such as disassembly/decompilation and the CFRU make more complex projects significantly easier. I was, surprisingly, wrong, though the nature of the games has changed a lot. Previous hacks in this discussion served as more difficult versions of existing games, with more freedom in teambuilding and some added features. But the modern “difficulty hack” is another beast entirely. The two I’d like to highlight in particular are Radical Red and the Kaizo games.

RadRed is the culmination of the aforementioned CFRU (Complete Firered Upgrade), a demonstration of its capabilities in porting both the entire 2021 catalogue of Pokemon into a game from 2004, but in showing the advances in AI and modern Pokemon mechanics (with refinement) to push the limits of how hard a Pokemon game could be. Every major fight plays like a competitive match, with the average playthrough necessitating frequent team rebuilding, and dedicated EV training and IV breeding. Radical Red (aside from basically stealing the best name I could ever use for a Romhack) is extremely difficult, requiring both a tactical mind and a bottomless well of Pokemon knowledge to play well.

The Kaizo games, by one Sinister Hooded Figure, are difficult in a different way entirely. Blue and Crystal Kaizo are actually getting older by this point, both of them releasing in 2014, but 2017’s Emerald Kaizo is the one that is getting the most buzz as of late. The Kaizo games (named for Kaizo Mario World) are crushingly difficult, built to be Nuzlocked and make you suffer doing it. An accelerated level curve, NPCs featuring legendary Pokemon that you have no access to (including Blue Kaizo giving your Rival a Mew from the very first battle), and the earlier games having extensive edits to maps necessitating fighting every battle, churning through dozens of Wilds in extended endurance segments, and fighting bosses and accessing resources in extremely inopportune ways. Emerald Kaizo has less of this but adds difficulty in the form of expert-level AI and the game forcing you into loads and loads of treacherous double battles. In addition, while Radical Red adds future additions and competitive-style gameplay, the Kaizo games lean into their rage game roots, with many a trainer using high-variance moves or items like the Quick Claw. A Critical Hit is problematic in a normal game, in Kaizo they’re ruinous. RadRed is the culmination of the years of Fire Red development, while Kaizo presents vanilla mechanics pounding you as hard as possible.

It may come as some surprise that I’m actually not a huge fan of either of these.

As much as I love difficulty, the experiences these games present just fall on the level of unfun for me. Grinding is boring, and they often necessitate that, and I’m not a huge fan of every single opponent being a significant enough threat that I need to pay serious attention in every single battle. It’s frustrating, because I want to like them, but they’re just too much.

But these games remain popular, and I think a large reason for that is simply because watching other people play them is quite entertaining. Streamers and Youtubers have flocked to these games, challenging their might, and often failing to conquer them. They’re an experience best had while slightly removed, it appears- the approachability barrier broached by having a proxy.

I’m sure people exist that are superfans of this kind of hack. I know they do, since I’ve seen folks who’ve done multiple playthroughs of Radical Red, and those who’ve stuck it out to actually complete a Nuzlocke of each and every Kaizo game. But they aren’t for me, and that’s okay. I am not surprised that these hacks continue to stay popular, and I expect them to continue and stay relevant as long as Pokemon Romhacking continues. With that in mind, I think I’d prefer more Dray-style hacks at this point.

You can find all of Dray’s hacks on his Drive here. Radical Red can be found at this link, and here’s Blue, Crystal, and Emerald Kaizo. And….fuck it here’s YAFRH and Fire Red Advanced, they’re both classics at this point.

[artemissoteira]

Do 10 50s!!!!!! (Any questions you want)

thanks casey ily for enabling me <3 (d&d ask meme here) this is, obviously, a long post bc of who I am as a person. you're all welcome.

6: Which of your d&d characters has been the least like you?

Honestly, probably Medea! And even she has slipped so much towards me lmao. Girlboss is not really my vibe but has been so so fun to play. I don't think I could have found her without Isaac's Sphinx to play off of because I don't have to feel bad about being mean to him sfdsdf and she needs an outlet for that. I'm not a person who carries much guilt or bitterness so that has been really interesting to poke at.

12: Have you ever fought a beholder?

Yes, an undead one, in a oneshot @brogendered ran! iirc we fucked up trying to get into the house over the wall instead of through the door and dropped right into a deadly encounter. we scooped a magic sword and fled back over the wall but left the beholder in some AOE damage spell, then took a short rest, and by the time we came back it was fully dead lmao. Extremely scary surprise encounter to start off the oneshot and extremely kind of jake to let us cheese it that way instead of killing us immediately which we probably had earned.

16. What is your favorite D&D pod/vodcast?

Anything by the Streampunks (Twitter here; most of their shows & others currently hosted on Queuetimes on YT/Twitch). Most of their stuff isn't in the D&D but all of it makes me cry. I started with Callisto 6 back on Geek & Sundry as my first ttrpg foray outside of CR and have never looked back. Strongest of recommendations to anyone interested in superheroes in dystopian cyberpunk Los Angeles 2119 combatting megacorporations with the power of eternal gay love and direct radical action, with a ton of loving care put into worldbuilding and rooting their characters in specific neighborhoods of the city.

It's a story about deliberate compassion and the enduring connection of communities in an unkind capitalistic world, with a storyteller who knows and takes care of his players by giving them every chance to explore what choosing kindness means and to reclaim agency for their own characters, allies, and antagonists alike. Fundamentally changed my understanding of ttrpgs as storytelling you can do, on purpose, with everyone throwing themselves wholeheartedly into a shared story with a deliberate commitment to theme. I think genuinely every single character made me cry at least once, including the ones I originally didn't connect with who ultimately had such powerful arcs that revealed the actors had been paying real damn attention the whole time.

Also has my favorite gay flirting via mechanically suboptimal combat choices that I've ever seen. I simply can't get into it here because I WILL scream but my jaw dropped. gina devivo’s mind. if you want even more longform gay yelling from me send me questions about callisto 6 or other streampunks shows lmao.

watch the first 2 seasons (24 eps) of callisto 6 on youtube. season 3 currently only available on geek and sundry's twitch archive, which you can access for a month for $5 and binge all 12 episodes.

14. Have you ever had a romance with an NPC or another PC?

Casey I will love you forever for turning my sheer lesbian energy and chronic Support Women syndrome into an actual romance for Medea and Medusa. Galaxy brain. I think that's the only romance I've dealt with, unless we count Tony wingmanning Tuck by strongly implying she'd fucked a lot of giants, which we shouldn't, even if it was iconic.

18. Do you use props/minis/terrain in your game?

using this as an excuse to say Roll20 my beloved. still extremely proud of the first oneshot I made from scratch last spring, when I taught myself javascript in order to code puzzles into the Roll20 API. I made: pressure plates that trigger walls to move up and down to allow water to flow; an automatically rotating lantern puzzle that revealed hidden text on the walls and featured actually climbable lanterns that I could hook character tokens to; and most importantly a secret button to change the icon of the goose barbarian, Duck Duck the Goose, from the standard Untitled Goose holding a knife into an edited version of the icon with "then perish" laser eyes.

Oh also a secret pressure plate trap that would only trigger when the bard stepped on it, played a magical sound effect and teleported him to another page where he had to solve a penis nonogram puzzle to be sent back to the party.

Aaand a magic electrical spark that worked as a laser pointer to guide a kitten around the map, complete with both the spark and the kitten’s icons switching orientations as they moved depending on whether they were above/below and left/right of each other.

20. If you run a homebrew game, give an out of context spoiler.

The rats don't like weasels.

21. Drop a picture of a mini you painted (if applicable).

No physical minis, but in the dark ages before heroforge had color options I manually recolored this mini of Tetra using fake photoshop by isolating each part of her body and fucking around with hue filters until I liked it.

tetra with hat dot png:

[ID: a purple merfolk mini from heroforge with webbed ears, an orange-tinted vest, a bright green kelp skirt, gold leather armbands, a large pink shell on one shoulder, a green kelp headpiece and orange flames rising from one hand. a clipart image of a purple propeller hat covered in gold stars has been edited onto her head. end ID]

yes the propeller hat image is from club penguin. yes i added the stars myself. yes I am this sexy and correct all the time and yes it is exhausting.

32. Most memorable NPC you've encountered in a game you played in.

There's so many, but I've periodically heard Najiba's voice in my head saying "Ithren, are you crazy? Like, you're a little bit crazy, right?" for weeks. her voice is so lyrical I want to listen to her talk for hours.

Ithren doesn't get her at all, but they like when she asks them questions bc it makes them feel like they are doing something useful by answering, even if their answers are completely incomprehensible to the party. I love that after every big thing that happens she goes, "Um, was that okay? That we did that? Like is that a good thing or did we do something bad here?" & makes everyone give their opinions. queen of nosiness.

34. Favorite accent to do for characters?

I've only found one accent I can do reliably so far and it's, like, surfer bro frat boy himbo burnout. Instant hit with the children and got my hapless bandit captive adopted by the party so quickly and now he's in charge of their horses. I love him so much.

all my other NPCs inevitably slide towards vaguely british snooty woman or gruff gravelly uncle no matter what I try to start them as. the two genders etc etc.

36. What was your first d&d character you made?

Tony the Tabaxi, my beloved. Orange tabaxi thembo swashbuckler rogue. The name is a fakeout for Tony the Tiger; they're actually named after Antonio Banderas who voices Puss in Boots. They’re just Puss in Boots. Thought I was gonna have to do something funky for the build but swashbucklers literally get the Panache ability at level 9 that is a free non-magical charm that works perfectly for Puss's big sad cat eyes. Love them so much.

Shrek 2 isn't on Netflix (or wasn't at the time) so for character research I watched Puss In Boots (2011) as well as "Puss In Book: Trapped in an Epic Tale", which is a choose your own adventure interactive special?? And a few episodes of The Adventures of Puss in Boots which (spoilers) takes place in the town of San Lorenzo which puss protects for years until the bloodwolf gets summoned and puss & friends get sucked into a dimensional portal (?) and Puss has to choose to have his friends' memories of him erased in order to correct the timeline, but carries them with him always. From what I recall. He adopts some piglets I think.

[shaanks]

WoW for the fandom ask game

This is the sweetest bud thank you !! :D Okay here we go:

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most):

This one is really difficult bc I mostly have a three-way tie going on between Renathal, Nathanos, and Illidan's over the top ass, like. I am rotating one of them slowly and pensively in my mind at all times. My heart wants to say Nathanos, who I have felt very fondly for the for eons and centuries bc he's just so?? he's SO gruff and angery that it goes all the way around the circle and comes out as endearing, at least for me.

That being said Renathal had me like publicly acting up for months, and my heart still hurts for him over Denathrius' betrayal and the 99% of the time thankless job he had immediately afterwards of trying to reunify and revitalize Revendreth (which is still my fave zone in Shadowlands bar none).

Generally hot as Illidan is I mostly just feel like, inordinately angry and sad about everything he had to go through (even if he did make ~half of the problems for himself). Plus we love a single father, especially one with like 1500 adopted half-demonic children.

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped):

For effect pls picture me T-Posing on top of Bwonsamdi, who is somehow both unbearably attractive and the scrunkliest weirdest little man I have ever seen. Honorable mention goes to Ara'lon (but only his in-game model is scrunkly, the cinematic Ara'lon is the prettiest baby in all the wilds).

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave):

Okay okay so hear me out.....Breka Grimaxe from the weird little Exile's Reach tutorial zone. Do I know she's a throw-away NPC that's just there to give you tutorials about your starting skills? Yes. Do I care that this is the case? Nope! She was a good mom and she was gruff yet supportive, grizzled hot lady that could kill you but wouldn't energy, like?? I understand her whole purpose is to get you through that area and then drop you off at daycare Orgrimmar, but I still wish she had gotten a fun lil tie-in to the rest of the story.

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week):

This is gonna seem weird bc you can technically see him like...whenever you want, but Polemarch Adrestes? He's another one that starts off kinda gruff and rankled about you but warms up a bit with time and I have such a soft spot for the guy. He's not quite obscure enough to technically count for this but I'm putting him here bc getting his attention is made to be such a big deal and then he just kind of gives you quests sometimes and is just a guy.

Honorable mention bc she's not a character but listen BLANCHY!!! Or any of the cool like world spawn mount critters, I only ever caught glimpses of them occasionally but please know I would be INSUFFERABLE talking about them to my family for the whole rest of the day every time. I just get jazzed about stuff like that, it's still one of my fave bits of the game.

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave):

You wanna catch me crying in the club, doing Runas' questline broke my heart, even on the like third or fourth playthrough when I KNEW what was coming. He was really trying so hard, even at the end, and I just. :( He is my poor lil meow meow, I just wish there was some other way for that questline to go.

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason):

Ready for some controversial picks? Genn Greymane and Malfurion lmfao like. Genn makes me insane which I know doesn't make a ton of sense given that he's a gruff, grumpy old man, but he's racist and obnoxious, and he stopped Sylvanas from getting that fucking lantern and set in motion a sequence of events that led to me personally having to set foot in Torghast, my ultimate detested.

Malfurion because oh my gOD HE IS INSUFFERABLE. HE'S SO PRETENTIOUS, self-important pompous ASShat if I WANTED to hang out with some stick in the mud graduate professor I would have GONE TO GRADUATE SCHOOL. He trophy wife'd Tyrande which gives me endless endless migraines, he was terrible to Illidan, and I am going to feed him head first into the horse plinko. He and Genn can duke it out for the worst most tepid takes for all eternity.

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell):

Denny's already in superhell (even though I love him lmfao), and so is Sargeras and Gul'dan and like. That is one of the high points of this game is generally speaking the Big Bads do go directly to superhell once they're no longer narratively relevant. The only one off the top of my head that I can think of that is still kicking around is Odyn. Who is as bad and irresponsible of a father in this as he is in most stories.

**

Thank you so much again for the ask buddy this was a lot of fun!!!

[ravnicaforgoblins]

Ravnica for Goblins

Exciting Planeswalker Visitors

(Caution: Before we begin, this post is going to be much more opinion-based than previous ones. These are my own homebrew ideas, use them as/if you wish, discard/dismiss them if you prefer.)

Planeswalkers are an integral part of MTG Lore, as well as several of its most iconic characters. Put simply, a Planeswalker is an individual with an inherent gift for traveling between planes, or worlds. The gift does not appear at birth, but is usually triggered by some manner of incredibly emotional (usually traumatizing) event. In addition, each Planeswalker displays a unique aptitude for a particular style of magic; be it plant growth, transformation, becoming transparent, illusions, invulnerability, summoning beasts, structural analysis, setting things on fire, etc. Whatever their specific brand of magic is, it’s usually on a higher level than an ordinary person can hope to achieve.

Planeswalkers, as a general rule, are wanderers by nature. They may have a home plane, or even an adopted home plane, but being able to traverse the multiverse leads many towards lives of constant adventuring/shenanigans. Add in the fact that Planeswalkers cannot bring anyone else with them on these travels (except in very rare cases), and you end up with a special breed of super-powerful magical loner. They show up, make a name for themselves with their big magic, and depart when they feel like it. Did you say, “Instant Adventure”?

Ravnica has a few native Planeswalkers among its citizens; Ral Zarek, Vraska, and Domri Rade. In addition, it has several Planeswalkers who have at some point or another (depending on your timeline) devoted enough time & energy to be effectively considered citizens; Azor, Tezzeret, Kaya, Dack Fayden, Dovin Baan, Gideon Jura, and Jace Beleren. Some of these are currently dead, missing, or magically barred from ever returning. At one point, Ravnica had more Planeswalkers on it at one time than any plane in the multiverse has ever or will ever see. If you are going the War of the Spark direction, good luck. You'll need it and so will your players. For everyone else, which Planeswalkers you choose to include in your campaign (if any), should be based on who will work the best for the story you’re trying to tell. A recommendation; if you find their lore too distracting and complicated, stick to the main beats. A lot of these figures can be boiled down to simple ideas, and you don’t want to bore your party with the entire novel of these usually dramatic/tragic lives. Trust me, the base concepts are enough.

With that in mind, here are four Planeswalkers that I, a random person on the internet, believe would work great for a Ravnica campaign. My choices are not based on who has canonically already spent time in Ravnica, or who would be the most powerful/dangerous to suddenly appear in the city. Several Planeswalkers have their own prior commitments on other planes that are pretty central to their character, and BAMFing them to Ravnica for a quick Bad Guy to take down wouldn’t do them justice. These four characters would slide into various aspects of Ravnica beautifully. These four would be the most exciting visitors to Ravnica.

Ashiok, Dream Render

I don’t think any MTG character could be as good a fit for a Ravnican Guild as Ashiok is for House Dimir. Ashiok is almost literally a walking shadow of secrets and intrigue. Their origins, their age, their motives, their face; hell, their gender is a secret yet unrevealed. Ashiok’s power is creating living beings born of the greatest fears stolen from people’s nightmares. Literally.

It’s like if the Dimir stopped half-assing the art of stealing thoughts and turned it into a weapon of mass destruction. Because even the mightiest of Ravnicans are afraid of things. Ask Niv-Mizzet about the Nephilim sometime, see how quickly he changes the subject. What’s better, for a Guild that prides itself on always having the up & up on everyone, Ashiok is inscrutable. They have no past that can be divined, no secrets that can be stolen, no previous encounters to prepare any for their arrival. Neither Lazav nor Etrata can claim such anonymity, despite their best efforts. Ashiok is a true enigma and a dangerous new weapon for House Dimir.

Ashiok also comes with the ability to create minions and NPCs from out of any PC’s worst nightmares, making encounters a great combination of roleplaying & combat. Fighting them is specifically facing one’s deepest & darkest fears made real. Can you say, “character development”?

Ashiok’s arrival could spread this new magical art to other Dimir Agents for a longer campaign, but it might be best to confine it to Ashiok in order to allow for a cleaner victory. Ashiok is not a fighter, cornering them into a direct confrontation should be enough to make the Nightmare Sculptor run for the hills. The mind is powerful, but also very squishy.

Tibalt, the Fiend-Blooded

You know how the Cult of Rakdos are technically Chaotic Evil but generally just a bunch of artsy hedonistic nuisances? Tibalt is to them what a gallon of gasoline would be to a lit stove. Good for fire, bad for everything else. Tibalt is an empath specializing in Pain Magic. Quite literally, he loves hurting people for fun. Drawn to pain like a magnet; physical, emotional, spiritual, psychological, etc, he is sadism personified.

His brief time on Ravnica during War of the Spark was enough to make a strong impression on the Rakdos.

“I like this one’s energy.”

This is because they do not realize how bad Tibalt would be for the Cult. There is a fundamental difference between the Chaotic Evil the Cult practices and the Chaotic Evil Tibalt delights in. The Rakdos have survived 10,000 years by taking in the freaks, the rejects, and the crazies, and giving them a place where they can live out their most depraved hedonistic fantasies. They are the voice of the outsiders bringing all figures of power & authority down a peg. They always punch up, never down. Tibalt is a young man with no home, no friends, no job, and no interests or hobbies beyond inflicting pain in as many people as possible. Tibalt punches everyone. The most important distinction between the two is that the Cult of Rakdos is a culture, a way of life for people to embrace; it might be crazy, but it welcomes & accepts people no matter how insane the world says they are. Tibalt does not care about anyone but himself. Following his example would see the city turned into the largest, bloodiest, and most destructive riot in its history; with Tibalt inciting and sicking every monstrosity he can find onto the city at once. He will burn the Rakdos candle at both ends and leave them to suffer the consequences of his fun. The aftermath being the city in ruins, the Cult wiped from the face of existence, and him moving on to his next project. In short, Tibalt will hurt the Cult of Rakdos as much, if not more, than the rest of Ravnica. Because that’s how he gets his kicks.

The one thing standing in his way will be Rakdos himself. As the single largest diva on the entire plane, Rakdos does not tolerate anyone who tries to steal his spotlight. As a 10,000+ year-old Demon Lord, Rakdos is in a league of his own, and Tibalt is just a hotshit little pain mage with a few tricks. It’s not a fight, it’s either an exit or a curtain call for the Planeswalker. If Rakdos is around, Tibalt’s spree will be very short-lived. If, however, Rakdos is doing his usual thing of hibernating for weeks, months, or years at a time, that’s a different story. Tibalt is good for if your campaign wants to bypass politics & intrigue and go straight to killing Cultists & Demons. He’s bad for anyone he comes in contact with.

Garruk Wildspeaker

In case I haven’t made my contempt for Domri Rade clear, I hold Domri Rade in utter contempt. As a character, as a Planeswalker, and most of all as a Gruul, he’s a failure. Scrawny, weak, gullible, and stupid. My chief grievance with Domri is that he fell short in all the areas the Gruul Clans idolize. He couldn’t survive in the wilderness on his own without his Planeswalker abilities, he couldn’t fight for himself except against weaker opponents or with herds of animals as backup, and he acted on orders from someone else who wasn’t Gruul. For a Guild built on independence and survival of the fittest, he failed both completely.

Garruk is the real deal. Gigantic, strong, savage, and cunning. Here is a man who, on a fundamental level, has embraced animal savagery as a way of life. He lives like a predator on the hunt, an alpha of any pack, and a fierce threat to all who intrude upon his territory. On a plane like Ravnica, where civilization has encroached on the untamed wilds almost completely, Garruk would be a gamechanger. Not only could he feasibly fight Borborygmos for leadership of the Gruul, he could win, and he could unite the Gruul under his howl of reclaiming the wilds from so-called “civilization”. Garruk would bring animal strength to the Gruul in ways they’ve only begun to tap into, and he’d do it in their language. Because Garruk understands the Gruul, and they understand him. They have so much in common with each other that it’s hard to think of any Planeswalker who could be welcomed so readily into a Guild. They would become so much more than rock-smashers and anarchists, they would become Ravnica’s reminder that nature will survive when all traces of society have crumbled away.

As if taking on the city itself wasn’t big enough already, Garruk has also taken to hunting other Planeswalkers, and can actually track them across the Multiverse. Meaning a few high-ranking members of Guilds and even the Living Guildpact have to take his threat seriously. He’s got a particular grudge against necromancers, dislikes talking, and has a special gift with animals of all varieties. All of which provides plenty of ideas to build from. He’s an 8ft tall Human Druid/Barbarian who willingly chooses animal savagery over intellectual reasoning, can there be anyone more perfect for the Gruul?

Did I say Ashiok was the most perfect fit for an MTG character in a Ravnican Guild? Yeah, scratch that. Garruk is.

Sarkhan Vol

Most Planeswalkers have a theme to their abilities. For some, that theme extends to their personalities as well. And then there are Planeswalkers who can be adequately summed up in a single word. For Sarkhan, that word would be “dragons”. Sarkhan sees dragons as nature’s purest & most destructive form, and carries a fascination with them that is perfectly healthy for anything with wings and scales that breathes fire, but generally less healthy for everything & everyone else.

One of the things that makes Ravnica unique is the distinct lack of dragons (emphasis on the plural). Ravnica has a dragon, Niv-Mizzet the Firemind, who made the executive decision thousands of years ago that he alone was sufficient to represent his entire species. Ravnican dragons are considered more intelligent than dragons on other planes, Niv himself being a prime example of this. Around the original signing of the Guildpact, Ravnica’s Godlike dragons were hunted to extinction, with Niv leading the hunt against his own kind. They were not entirely successful in this endeavor, but what few dragons do remain in the present day survive by staying as far off Niv’s radar as possible. Some dragons live by carrying out Niv’s will under constant supervision, or by hunting in the untamed wilds outside the city, or as sideshow attractions for the Rakdos (usually with their wings cut off to prevent escape). They are effectively stripped of anything that would identify them as “dragons” for the sake of their own existence. Since dragons are such a notoriously touchy subject for the Firemind, few have the nerve or fire immunity necessary to speak out against it.

Sarkhan would be horrified. If he thought the extinction of dragons on his home plane of Tarkir was bad, seeing them living like this would infuriate him beyond words. What would Sarkhan do once the initial shock of seeing his spirit animal (in more ways than one) reduced to pitiful scraps of life as lab rats, scared prey, and freak shows wears off? Let’s make it a game! Do you think Sarkhan will:

A. Cry.

B. Throw up.

C. Embrace this as a plane’s reality that he has no right to get involved with.

D. Scream.

E. Set something on fire.

F. Set everything on fire.

G. Bring back the dragons.

H. Burn the city to the ground with dragons.

I. Kill Niv-Mizzet.

J. All the above except “C”.

If you selected Answer “J”, then congratulations! You’ve just won a free trip to a BURNING METROPOLIS! Sarkhan will absolutely make it his life’s goal to bring dragons back to Ravnica and destroy the whole wretched city down to the last brick. How he would do it is up to you, but it’s a solid bet that even if every other Guild treats him like an apocalyptic madman, the Gruul might side with him over some shared beliefs in smashing the city apart with ferocious animal savagery. They tend to lean towards such ideas with uncharacteristic willful compliance. Ravnican dragons are primarily red, with the most prominent breed still remaining being the Utvara Hellkites beyond the city limits.

Oh, and Sarkhan can turn into a dragon, too. Have fun with that.