#i never really make anything for myself bc it just goes immediately into a WIP pile to never be seen again

[somecunttookmyurl]

i'm knitting a blanket for @learnorlose's as-yet-unborn-but-coming-soon niece and it's like. fuck me i miss knitting

all my commissions are crochet (love u guys not mad at it it's just a thing) bc i am The Insane Pixel Crochet Bitch but it means i never really get to knit anymore

[icharchivist]

hello icha!!!!! learned from my mistakes and typed this out in a separate document. first i have to say im feeling a very deep connection with citron as of late bc i was giving myself a pep talk abt like physics and i told myself "face up and man the music!" and was like "...is that wrong. theres that song called man against the music isnt there... yeah it must be right" and. well i realized later. i also think the phrase "dont cry because it happened, smile because its over" is very good. also I’m halfway thru creating a very eclectic list of like. a Pokémon team for each a3 character which is… something. kinda knew it would happen to me. might take a while for me to finish it tho now that I’m halfway bc I’m suddenly having a crisis like “wait shit I’m only confident on my understanding and characterizing of like 4 characters am I good enough” so… it’s slow going lol. anyways. i finished that damn physics thing I was giving myself a pep talk about and so am treating myself to autumn/winter. happens that watching these events is also like. the only thing which reminds me to actually like. log into a3 lol. i am so bad at gacha games. probably a good thing in the long run. ok starting from the top!

hisoka going "zzz" as his reaction made me immediately go... oh dear, please dont fall asleep in the bath and guess what happened. yeah. good thing homare was there lol. speaking of i fucking adore homare and his poetry. id buy his collection. i also wish there was a collection like if there was a master list of every poem he says in like. at the very least main story. if not i will literally do it myself. i love homare so much im like him in that back when i had to play dodgeball id always be like kufufufu they cant hit me if im friendless enough that no one pays attention to me but like in my case it actually worked out. on the subject of the pillow fight tho, hisoka's crazy strong pillow fight throw... one more mark on the list for suspicious, maybe assassin occupation. this event made me realize how much i missed winter like. i saw the stranger pretty recently (which has caused the effect of be being like "taichi!! thats my boy!!" in my head everytime he shows up lol but anyways i havent gotten to a winter play yet so im VERY hype. especially bc this seems like it stars hisoka and homare??? like oh!! oh!!!! also detective fiction... im swooning. i also just enjoy the hisoka homare dynamic a whole fucking lot i think its nice how homare was like "yeah im ride or die for this funky lil amnesiac, why wouldnt you be?" and its just like. nice. feel like hes always reaching out to hisoka which is like. man homare is so nice.

back to chronology. ofc sakyo goes cheap for the hot springs lol. on brand as ever. was very hype for the azuma sakyo dynamic bc all i remember is like azuma trashing everyone including sakyo at some game or the other in one of the winter chapters and it was very good. or was this a clip in like a stage play? either way it was delightful. at first i misinterpreted taichi going "…" after azuma and sakyo said theyd never been on a field trip bc like. taichi being quiet or noncommunicative... after going thru autumn troupe act 1 it makes me fear for my life a little lol. anyways im glad he was just like planning fun times. speaking of taichi tho we got a tasuku taichi pair for etudes!!!! im not spoiling myself for later events but i hope to GOD tasuku and taichi do like a lead co lead in SOMETHING or at least like some mixed troupe event i want them to talk!!!

also dunno if this is an intentional pun but i enjoy that its called high spirits at the hot spring bc like oh theyre having fun but also bc like. "spirits" is used to refer to a certain type of alcohol i think? which is cool. dunno if its intentional but i liked that. anyways the talent show. taichis moving rendition of single ladies... ok i know it said single fellas but like. we know. wonder if that line was a different song in japanese? its not too old at ALL tho imo. anyways the way banri and juza being themselves Are the entertainment... flashback to when banri slaps juza live on stage instead of doing a stage slap lol. my reaction to azuma essentially went:

azuma: I can offer to bare my soul, and a little more ;)

izumi: what do u mean by that???

me: hey tasuku and omi were shirtless what's ur problem with azuma

anyways i reread and from what i understand they were maybe only flexing and doing a gun show? which like. no wonder it didnt last too long then lol. also explains why they didnt have shirtless sprites i suppose lmao. i am SO curious abt what azuma ended up doing tho that fade to black is so mysterious! did he tap dance? did he pole dance? the world will never know...

oh also im not like super familiar with azuma yet but my read on his personality is definitely like "I am so touch starved All The Time but I will be chill. :) :) this is fine :)" like he just seems to rly like being around people! just like basking in presence whether or not hes rly talking that much.

i enjoyed that juza mentioned pillow fighting with his lil brother... thats nice! i think a lot of this event was just focused on ppl having fun over the drama lol bc it got wrapped up sooo quick. i liked the bit where sakyos worried that izumi was out late searching for him tho it was so sweet. table tennis match was very fun although id argue calling hisoka and juza the two quietest tho lol like... banri exists so juza isnt quiet. just like inevitably. finally, the event cg!!! azumas hair tied up... so nice! thats how I tie my hair up sometimes tho it doesnt look nearly as nice lol. taichi rambling abt his first love for so long tho... lol. ill be honest i have to reread autumn bc i was not aware of this whole situation until it came up in the stranger and i like inferred from there. the end of this event was nice! it was cute. i dont rly have much thoughts on it but im so hype for the winter play

Hello:!!! so good to see you again, freshly learning from your mistakes then :3c

the connection with Citron is a BLAST to read about. I am glad that Citron is there, on your mind, supporting you at every turns of language. It's beautiful.

AND OH THE POKEMON LIST!!! thrilled to hear about it being a wip ongoing! take your time ofc and i hope you'll feel more confident as you go for your characters interpretation! i believe in you!

lmao i'm glad the events help you remember to play a3, i'm sure that by the time you'll be done with the events you will have unlocked so much of act 2 you won't have to worry too much about it. Anyway i'm glad you treat yourself to good things :3c

of course Hisoka fell asleep in the bath. tbh this event was a lot of "Hisoka almost dies in a spring house multiple times if it wasn't for his troupesmates". Between sleeping in the bath and almost swallowing the table tenis ball... where would we be without Winter, and especially Homare, taking care fo him.

I'm SO GLAD you like Homare that much! he's so so good! i'm sure there must be a masterlist somewhere, or well. can be done anytime i guess?? but yeah Homare is fantastic and LDJFDLKFJDF the evil plan to avoid dodgeball from both of you.. this is incredible DLKJFDLKF. But yeah alas he's loved by his own so he gets hit smh.

And yeah Hisoka is just acting sus huh.

BUT YEAH... YEAH... WINTER... BELOVED.... I feel regular and normal feelings for Winter as you know, s o .

(i'm so delighted that you feel that way about Taichi though, as he deserves!! what a good boy!!!)

But yeah Winter play next!!!!! i love the winter plays so much i hope you'll like it as well!! aND YEAH HISOKA AND HOMARE AS A DUO... for a DETECTIVE story?? so good.

I'm sO GLAD you like their dynamic! yeah i adore it too. Homare was so quick to leap into taking care of Hisoka? Like i mean he immediatly called him sleeping beauty when they first met, and immediately decided to be his roommates to watch over him, and then he did everything to take care of him and it's just so sweet. Homare has such a big heart he's so gentle with Hisoka. Homey and comfortable, whenever Hisoka admits it or not ahah.

ahah wouldn't be Sakyo if he didn't need to stay cheap. BUT YEAH the Sakyo/Azuma dynamic is pretty good. oh the event you talk about i think is in some of his very first backstage storyes (that you can read if you have them since they're at this point of the chronology). There's one where they play a mafia game and Sakyo is warry of Azuma because "people like him are those you need to worry about the most" and Azuma is just ":) you wound me :) i would never :)" and then Azuma wins the game and starts to mess with everyone. It was so fun. and yeah i see which clip you mean for the stage play!! it's so so fun they have such a neat dynamic and i loved to see it in this event as well.

and omg worrying about Taichi while he was just there preparing a fun time! this child really would have worried us all back then huh

but AHH YEAH TASUKU TAICHI.... It's such a neat dynamic! ofc i won't say anything but man i love the potential of their stories, as the two ex Godza boys. To see them bond and be comfortable with each other always make me so soft.

OH NICE CATCH FOR THE PUN! i think it must be the reason for it tbh, i love it! thanks for pointing it out!

The talent show was really fun yeah ahah! I wonder what it is in Japanese too but at least the localization was hella fun!

"anyways the way banri and juza being themselves Are the entertainment." THEY'RE SO SILLY I love them so much

AND LMAO YOUR REACTION AT AZUMA I LOVE IT. YEah i think Tasuku and Omi are just flexing (which is Still. SO FUNNY. Just there saying "our talents is.. our muscles...") meanwhile Azuma is like "my talent is that i'm crazy hot :)"

But YEAH Azuma... AZUMA WHAT DID YOU DO....

your read on Azuma's personality feels pretty spot on to me ahah omg. Staying with what you know about him, the fact that with his job and all, he seems like he's starving for connection while also terrified to make himself emotionally vulnerable. He loves staying with people, listening to them, caring for them, and he's touch starved as hell (i mean it's his job) but he doesn't seem to really know how to be on the receiving hand of affection. there's a flair talk, i can't remember where, with Omi at some point, where Azuma compliments him, and Omi is just "mhm.. but you know i think that it's more about you" and ends up complimenting Azuma in depth and it let Azuma dumbfounded because he didn't expect Omi to trick him at his own game, while Omi just genuinely don't get why Azuma is reacting that way. He gives he gives he gives, and he's genuinely happy with that, but he seems to have difficulties to take, or to demand for something, while also starving for it. I have so many emotions for Azuma.

Any mentions of Juza's little bro are the best things. I love this type of mention TwT

And yeah it was such a laid back event. Honestly deserved after the crying fest that was The Stranger imo. It's good to relax once in a while and it was nice to have them have fun. There was the bitterness of both Azuma and Sakyo's past that was always a bit looming but everyone was working so hard for them to enjoy themselves that the joy just overtake any sadness i loved it.

Sakyo worrying about Izumi is always adorable TwT

And yeah the Table Tennis match was so fun and chaotic LMAO. I love the dynamic between Juza and Hisoka. Just two usually quiet boys who like sweets. Except that yeah like you say, as long as Banri is around, Juza cannot be 100% quiet. Rip.

THE CG WAS SO PRETTY i loved seeing it. And omg you can share your hairtips with Azuma how nice :D Azuma manages to make everything look beautiful smh....

Oh yeah Taichi and his first love! if i recall he mentions it quickly at the begining, that Yuki reminds him of his first love, and he says that again at some point - then the fake Portrait he does he mentions his first love again. And since then it's been a reccuring topic so yeh :3c

but yeah! this event was really sweet and laid back, not much to say about it, but it was nice to have it at all!

Hope you'll like the winter play :3c

Take care and thank you again for your thoughts <33 i love reading them!! bless you!!

[sunwoork]

mila & sunwoo reporting for duty !! okay so true story i’m writing this as my acceptance is getting posted ... and you guys’ welcome messages are popping in like crazy ?? you guys are fast ... i’m shook ! anyways, it’s so nice to meet you all ! i am mila, and i was here for a v v short time before w another muse but it was so uneventful we’re gonna skip over it lmao ? anywho !

the star of the show is mr. kim sunwoo, our film student at k-arts who eats food and gets  scared in his free time ! if i’m being honest he .... doesn’t know what he’s doing at all, literally at all, but that’s what character development’s for !! i’m gonna put some info about him down below, and click for his profile, bio, socials, and the saddest plots page i have ever seen in life ( i had 5 minutes ok it’s a wip .... more is coming i promise >.< ) but anywho i’m excited to meet all of you and i will stop talking all of your ears off !! oh yeah ... and like this to plot with me !

i’m gonna quite literally skip over all his backstory because it sums it all up in the bio and if i start then i’ll never stop !! 

but as a VERY short summary, sunwoo’s mom gave him up almost immediately after he was born because she was young & didn’t think she could care for him, sunwoo bounced through the system before eventually being placed with his permanent home & now adoptive mother, kim hyejin !!

and him being left as a kid & getting bounced from foster home to foster home really left a toll on him, and now he really craves clear acceptance and affection ?

sidenote kim hyejin is actually quite older, in her mid-60′s, so she looks more like his grandma than mom ?? which is ... confusing to a lot of people a lot of the time, and he gets tired of the questions but loves her to death ! i’m also so making it canon she looks like moon sook the actress because .... a BEAUTY ?? we stan aging gracefully !!!

he’s also hesitant to call her mom bc he has this undying faith he’ll reunite w his mother, even now so you’ll see him bounce between calling her mom & ms. kim !!

but not to spoil anything sunwoo will discover later but uh ... his relationship w his mom won’t be restored, at least not in the way he wants :((

but onto general sunwoo things !!

( and as a general note, if i refer to his “mom”, i’m referring to his adoptive mom, hyejin kim, unless stated otherwise ! i don’t want to confuse you guys ! )

creator of the channel “scream cuisine”, where he eats food while telling scary stories / conspiracy theories, and gives commentary !! definitely a paranormal enthusiast, with the unbothered energy of shane from buzzfeed unsolved w the hyperactivity of ryan ?? starting his channel def got him into making videos & he’s loved it ever since !

but more than anything, his biggest love is writing ! has a little personal blog where he writes random things spanning from poems to kpop album reviews lmao !! he wanted to be a journalist, but got into k-arts on the biggest whim ever after they apparently liked his video submission ?? so was like ok ... for now we’ll go with that !!

so currently he’s attending k-arts, and honestly finds it quite weird because he doesn’t really fit in w the passion a lot of the other students have for film ?? some of them are like v intense about it while he just sort of does it bc it’s fun ??

inherited a variety of skills from his mom ! these include painting, gardening, cooking, and a love for music ! so he can dabble a bit in all of them ! he’s honestly an overgrown grandma if we’re being honest, it’s what he gets for being raised a generation behind everyone else his age

he actually does love to sing !! ballads more than anything in terms of things he sings himself, but loves jamming to upbeat pop songs more than most things in this world !! he has a softer / higher voice, and though he has a really nice tone he has no professional training so he’s sort of just ... out here doing him ??

and see !!! this is the problem ! if you couldn’t tell already sunwoo literally has a thousand interests, and small talents, but none that really are screaming out at him ?? so his lack of intense passion for something is really frustrating ! he hasn’t been able to find himself yet and is constantly upset at himself for it.

if he knows you, sunwoo KNOWS you - he’ll be super friendly, always talking, etc !! though surprisingly, if sunwoo doesn’t know you he can become super introverted ? not because he doesn’t want to talk, but he is just more conscious of how he presents himself to you !

sunwoo def has chaotic tik tok boy energy ... he has been left with his phone for too long and his brand deteriorated bc of it ... i apologize if he just starts doing tik tok dances or makes weird references in the middle of serious convos it’s his coping mechanism

he does have a rbf but it’s so misleading ?? like this man is SUCH  a soft boy and yet when he is zoning out he’s like  😡 but then u talk to him and he’s like  😊 

also romance wise, he loves tsundere boys and strong-minded girls that are older than him ?? do i know why ?? i do not !! it just happened this way

he’s honestly so supportive, will stan everyone ?? and when i mean everyone, i mean yes even your random muse who walks past him one time without saying anything ?? he just has developed a v empathetic and loving personality despite his circumstance, and honestly kinda because of it ??

he loves video games, but unfortunately, he’s literally terrible on them ?? tried being a twitch gaming streamer before being gifted $1 by someone, only to have them send a message being like “u suck” so he was like ok wrong choice !!!

if i had to say the chance of sunwoo realizing his potential to be an idol, i would say 3.21%!!!! lmAO listen as much as he likes singing, and he likes attention, he just ... hasn’t really connected the dots ? he’d be the type to audition for fun but like ? he also does a lot of other things for fun he’s really not considering it as a thing for real yet ??

but !! he is about to start taking dance classes because he’s trying to lose this college weight so if anyone wants to help him or join him on this journey be our guest !!

oh !!! right he has a pomeranian named banana, but he calls her nana, and when i tell you this dog is his pride and joy he will never be prouder of anything more than he will be the day he adopted her ??? she’s 2, a diva, and bites him at least a few times a day but if you ask him he’ll say that’s her love language !!!

speaking of love ... phew this man is a lovebug !! goes though crushes like the flu - it comes fast, it hits him hard, and then goes away just like that. chances are if you know him he’s had a crush on you at some point of time or still do ? don’t worry i promise he won’t make it awkward !

anyway i feel like this was an overload of very chaotic information but sunwoo’s an incredibly chaotic overload of energy so !! very in character of me if i do say so myself ... i’m gonna let sunwoo speak for himself and hopefully we can get something going !! i’ve been so excited to bring him here & have been doing a lot of work so i hope he’s taken to well here !! i can’t wait to meet your muses :’))

[cherryonigiri]

hi!! um so...i’m currently writing a hq long fic that i’m planning to post on ao3, but i’m having a hard time motivating myself? like, i don’t have writers block, bc when i actually sit down i can just start and don’t stop. but i can’t find a schedule that’s good for me for writing or motivation to go sit down and write for a bit, even if i want to. do you have any tips or help on this? btw i luv ur blog sm!! ..)

hi!!! first of all, kudos to you for being able to just write when you will it! I struggle with getting words on paper (i have won staring contests with google docs oops) and i have major writers block most of the time. But yeah, I sometimes find it super hard to be motivated to sit down and WRITE. there are so many distractions/things to do. I guess here are a few of my tips:

Set concrete and achievable goals: this can be something like: “I want to finish this scene or this description” or it can be something a little more measurable like: “I want to write at least 500 words of this section” or “finish chapter 1.” Setting concrete goals beyond “I want to work on this fic” helps break up a long fic into short tasks! I encourage you to not set goals longer than writing a chapter at a time. If anything, splitting up a chapter into mini tasks does two things: 1) it makes writing seem more achievable and 2) It gives you moments to feel proud of/an extra positivity boost that can help you with motivation. Be realistic! It’s okay to have long goals like “I’ll finish 4 chapters by the end of this week,” but break them up into realistic/achievable components. Hold yourself accountable by splitting a large goal into tasks - this has helped me keep on track for my own wips. 

The Pomodoro (Tomato) technique: this is a time management technique that a college professor taught me and wow I’ve never written a paper or fic with as much efficiency as have without this method. Here’s a link to more info on the method but it essentially boils down to:

Set a task/goal (Ex. I want to finish 3 paragraphs, this chapter, etc.) This method works well with a range of sizes, but try to set it to something you know for sure you can achieve within a day, but long enough that it’s something you’ll need to spend some time on it.

Start a timer for 25 minutes and work on the task

Once the timer goes off STOP IMMEDIATELY. (Jot down/type a note on what you left off on/or finish the last sentence)

Draw a check mark on a piece of paper

If you have less than 4 check marks take a short break (3-5 minutes)

If you have 4 take a longer break + reset your check mark count to zero (15-30 minutes). 

You can always adjust how long you are writing for (I prefer 15-20 minute chunks instead of 25) or the number of check marks to suit your schedule. Sometimes I spread the writing sessions throughout the day if i’m busy. But this is a really effective way to budget your time + give some structure to how you write. 

Motivation: this is a tough one. Motivation is super fickle and can be there and then disappear minutes later. I encourage you to stop writing if you feel drained/like it is a burden or are generally unhappy with how your writing is turning out. At least take a break. Fresh eyes can often give you the new perspective you need. Also - talk to people! My mutuals often are the ones who inspire me over and over again because we’ll just rant about anime men and then suddenly I have a brilliant idea that I want to write! If you want you can always message me 😊

Making time/space: get into a routine! I have a DAILY alarm on my phone that goes off at 10 PM. If i’m not writing by then, that’s my signal to start writing. I try to finish all my work before 10 or in the morning when i wake up. If this isn’t possible, which is totally fine, plan ahead! Block out time/put it in your calendar. Do something to make yourself aware that this time is set aside for your passion! Doing little things to affirm and confirm that writing is a part of my day helps me make the mental space I need to commit to sitting down and writing! Also, if it helps, try writing in a designated space (at a desk, on a specific couch/chair, in bed). Having a space you associate with writing/productivity can also help! 

I hope this helps a bit! - alice

[okaybutlikeimagine]

so i wanna write more headcanons on here but to do that i feel like i need to actually explain my main headcanon about Stranger Things/Billy in general??? and i’m trying to write a fic (and i S W E A R i’m gonna finish it at some point/better finish it this summer or it’s never getting done i just am a Mess TM so bear with me here bc i have 3 WIPs right now) but I’m gonna give a run down of the main points bc otherwise I end up just saying “Billy got adopted by Hop” and I feel like that’s a major step so maybe I need to explain my thought process there. so my fic plan is gonna be going through Stranger Things S2 focusing on Billy (I know, how Original, right?? I’m rolling my eyes at myself but I’m excited to think about the thought process of our Crazy boy) but i’ll just go through the major stuff (mainly with him and Hopper)

((this is so damn long good god i’m so sorry))

so Billy is the local Menace and Hopper briefly hears about him from Officer Callahan, knows a new family just moved in from Cali, but the first time he sees him is when he pulls the boy over (with a bit of difficulty because how the hell is this boy going so fast??) and he’s pissed. Bc kids still run around this town like it’s nothing and how is he ever going to be comfortable letting El run around this town with this maniac here? so he intimidates the boy and enjoys it until he sees a bruise on his cheekbone and legitimate fear in his eyes and it gives him pause. bc Billy just got back from a beyond rough night with Neil who showed even less mercy than normal and told him to find another place to sleep tonight.

Hop catches on that something’s wrong. he doesn’t feel good about kicking a boy this broken into the drunk tank (even though the only reason Billy stopped for Hop was bc he felt sitting in the drunk tank might be better than sitting in his car through the cold night). Hop sees a bit of himself in the boy, back when he was young and stupid and fighting back an angry, drunken father. So he asks Billy who he can call to get him home safely, bc no fucking way is he letting him drive his car anywhere when he’s drunk. and when Billy comes up short, Hop curses and makes a split decision to bring him home. bc it’s way too late and the boy has school tomorrow and he sees Billy in obvious pain. and it’s not like Hopper is totally unaware. word gets around fast in a small town filled with gossipy elders. he already knows enough about Neil to know that he has some anger issues and he knows exactly what anger issues mean for a kid like this. so he thinks he’s going to regret it, but he convinces Billy to come over and crash on their couch. (and you best he’s immediately thinking of getting a CT scan tomorrow bc how many kids is he planning on adopting?? this man favors solitude over just about anything and now he’s bringing ANOTHER abused child into his home?? and he’s thinking about how hard he’ll have to threaten Billy to not say anything about El)

Billy puts up a fight, but gives in bc fuck it’s been a long night and he thinks being under a drafty cabin roof might be better than sleeping in his car, maybe. he meets El, who’s super strange (and billy isn’t well versed in the actions of 13 yr old girls but El doesn’t seem super normal to him). Hopper tries to keep their interactions as short as possible. and in the morning, when Hopper drives Billy to his house, he refuses to let the boy go in there alone. He walks Billy up to the door, explains away Billy’s absence, and sizes Neil up in his own living room as Billy gets ready for school so Hop can drop him off. Billy finds the care stifling and alien and so unnecessary, but something about Neil shaking in his shoes makes Billy cackle inside.

and back in Cali, Billy used to avoid cops like the plague, but now in Hawkins he goes speeding through the streets on nights that Neil tells him to leave just so he can get picked up and taken to Hopper’s cabin. sometimes on nights where Neil doesn’t, and he feels psychotic doing it. Billy gets to know El a lot better, and he wonders why Hopper had to threaten him so aggressively about not telling a single soul about this girl that he claims to be his daughter. She’s caring to Billy in a really weird way, giving him glasses of water and extra blankets after Hopper has gone to bed and Billy is cowering on the couch trying to go to sleep. One night Billy wakes to her screaming and crying and sees Hopper rush into her room and hears him lull her back to sleep. He asks her about it in the morning while Hop is showering and she mumbles something into her Eggos about Papa and pain and bad men. he asks her to speak up a bit, trying not to take his growing anger out on her, and she explains that Papa is a bad man who hurt her too much. Billy thinks he understands. He definitely doesn’t.

So he follows Hopper outside as they head out and swings at him. immediately swings at him bc all he can see is red bc here he thought a grown man could be something other than an absolute trash bag but here’s this man proving Billy a fool bc he hurts that poor sweet girl. he misses, and Hopper gets furious, immediately yelling, asking the boy what he’s doing. the two argue loudly, and Hopper tells Billy that he put them all in danger just for bringing him here, so Billy gets pissed as fuck and doesn’t come back.

and this entire time Billy’s trying to lay low at school about being gay. it’s nowhere near as lenient as Cali was and he can’t exactly show off his boner for Steve “the King” Harrington. so when Billy gets forced on an expedition to find his precious step-sister, he figures following a crazy as fuck noise seems like the best idea, esp after being told to go to the house of basically every child in Hawkins. hey, if he’s lucky, maybe it’ll be a hungry bear or something. but instead he finds a gross junkyard and what looks like his kid sister on top of a bus with that Sinclair kid, so he drives up fast, seeing red. it’s not until he’s out of the car that he sees King Steve himself barrelling towards Billy and dragging him behind the bus and handing him a piece of sheet metal and telling him to make do.

naturally Billy flips his shit, confused as hell and asking what that loud noise is, but Steve prompts him, telling him he knows he has something to be mad about bc he’s not exactly meditating on the basketball court so maybe he can channel the source of that anger to “maybe, I dunno, help us?” 

So they fight. and when the demodogs get called off, Billy demands a fucking explanation, getting pissed as all hell at Steve for letting his sister and her punk friends be here when it’s obviously infected with some crazy as fuck monsters?? “and what the shit is a demodog??” but they force a dazed Billy into the car and ask him to drive them in the direction of the noise, to which Billy says they’re nuts but it’s 4 against 1 and his mind is racing and he’s just angrily compliant at this point, speeding towards the sounds that they try to hear through the open windows. so billy gets dragged through it all, and learns about it all, and when they get to Will’s house he thinks he’s going to be sick and it’s Steve who helps him through it, awkwardly rubbing his back as he dry heaves in the bathroom bc “fuck this, seriously fuck this, you’re all nuts!”

Hopper briefly asks if he’s all right when Billy goes back into the living room obviously shaken. He accepts El’s hug when she comes in dressed up like a crazy punk and everyone is confused as hell as to how they know each other, esp Steve, who has never seen this girl in his life. Billy compliments her look, tells her she’s “looking rad”.

“Bitchin’.”

“Oh, excuse me. Bitchin’.”

He tells Hop and El to be safe, and he feels stupid about it but it earns him another hug from El and a nod and a small smile from Hop and he doesn’t like that it makes him feel so warm.

he tags along with Steve when they go into the upside down, making sure the kids are safe and bringing up the rear as Steve trudges ahead of them. He’s confused as fuck when Dustin talks to one of those things like it has a fucking heart. thinks maybe he can consider it some kind of metaphor of how even monsters can be friends sometimes.

when it’s all over, he’s damn glad and damn happy and feels damn lucky to be alive. he feels a weird gratefulness at having his sister alive and starts thinking of her as his sister. he hugs her and smacks her shoulder lightly and tells her to never go running off to fight monsters again if she knows what’s good for her, “especially not with prissy little Princess Harrington”. She just gives him an exasperated laugh and a roll of her eyes and he winks at a blushing and pouting Steve.

the abuse doesn’t stop. he’s out driving drunkenly again when Hop pulls him over. Hopper talks to him, explains himself a bit, with light irritation. Billy feels indignant, says he’ll just sleep in his damn car for the night, thanks, but Hop doesn’t allow it. He asks Billy to at least come to the cabin to see El, bc she keeps asking after him and his well being. and when things get worse, and Billy hashes out his shit with Hopper pretty hot headedly, he goes over to the cabin more and more, a brief and small and very young part of his mind wondering if Hopper would lull him to sleep too when he wakes up screaming from nightmares.

He gets closer to Max now that he almost lost her. he drives her to the arcade or Lucas’ place a lot more bc he sees that Sinclair is a good (enough) kid and he kind of wants to protect the little punk from his racist asshole of a father. now that he knows the boy isn’t making her cry anymore he feels a hell of a lot better about it. but his relationship with Neil is only getting worse and he doesn’t know it but when the Snow Ball comes around and he sees Max getting fawned over by her mother and he thinks about his own mother (bc tell me that boy’s expression isn’t sad when he sees her in that scene) it’s the last time he sees Max in a home that they share. That night Neil drunkenly shouts homophobic slurs at him and Billy’s done with it He can’t take it. Hopper has been telling him for a month now to just file a report, he’s sure he has enough evidence to catch Neil on an abuse charge, and so he finally does.

Hopper promises to fight for his custody, so that he has a safe roof to live under at least until he turns 18. Hopper cashes in on a favor with the judge bc somehow and for some fucking reason he says there isn’t enough substantial evidence to say anything + people are confused as to why it’s Hopper asking for custody of Billy. So Neil stays living with his wife and Max and gives away custody of Billy pretty angrily but not out of any love of him. (and is it realistic for this to happen?? i’m not sure about it but either way, i melt over Hopper adopting Billy and being brought into a family with Hop and El and Joyce and Jonathan and Will. and no matter what happens with Neil, i just can’t see Max leaving her mom. i think she would cling to any blood relation she has bc yeah, she has friends now, but her mother is her mother) Billy still drives Max to school every day and he makes her promise him she’ll tell him if anything bad ever happens bc “Hey, I have a pretty decent in with the Chief of Police now, alright shithead? You need anything done, I’ve got you.”

so now think of the POSSIBILITIES!! Billy and El as brother and sister, bickering and messing around with each other and Billy showing her new music much to Hop’s dismay but he likes that El has company! Joyce and Hop getting together and Joyce becoming a good mother to him bc lets face it, Joyce would mother the world if she could!! Him finally getting to be with Steve and not being called homophobic slurs and getting closer and closer to Steve as they become boyfriends and dads to the children!!!! the possibilities are endless for Billy Hargrove/Hopper!!!!!!!

(jury’s still out on how to fit S3 in here and how much of canon i want to put into this headcanon but imagine Billy having people in his corner after he’s been possessed and they notice a lot quicker when he gets possessed so they help him faster!!)(or he can just be at home playing board games with El on the night that he was supposed to get possessed and he’s able to be a supportive and sassy figure for El and the kids bc babysitter Steve was off trying to fight russians.)(!!! imagine concerned Billy wondering where the fuck Steve is and getting jealous that he’s out with a girl and Steve is like: “I was literally inches away from death and you’re STILL being a jealous bitch, are you serious????”)

ANYWAY this was so long and a bit unnecessary but this is the gist of what I think and when I write headcanons I’m talking about a universe where all of this took place (unless otherwise specified). Sorry for this mess, but it was good for me to write this out and if anyone is interested in my dumb ideas of how Billy’s story could have gone differently, here’s a preview of whatever dumpster fire of a fic i put out eventually. + you can always talk to me here, i’m open to excitedly yell with you ♥

[creideamhgradochas]

Thanks to the lovely @youngmoneymilla for taking the time to answer these! Get to know more about lovely Eliza, go give her a follow and then show her some love!

These questions are from this list. You should check it out, there’s 50 questions all together and they’d be great to ask your favorite fic writer!

1) How old were you when you first starting writing fan-fiction?

13

2) Do you prefer writing OC’s or reader inserts? Explain your answer.

I did love writing OC’s because I have a lot of fun with physical description. However, that was when I wasn’t aware of Reader Inserts since I just recently came back into the fanfic world. Reader Inserts are great because I have to work that much harder on giving them a backstory/personality and not focus at all on physical description. Plus, everyone gets to read the work and hopefully find themselves in it. The only thing I hate is being unable to use a name. I can’t write “Y/N” bc it bugs me haha.

3) What is your favorite genre to write for?

Ummm Angst probably? I’m a huge horror fan so, I’m trying to incorporate that into more work.

4) If you had to delete one of your stories and never speak of it again, which would it be and why?

“It Would Have Made it True” just because I didn’t really connect with it that much and the ending was rushed.

5) When is your preferred time to write? 

11 am to 10 pm haha. I’m an asshole and write a lot during my job.

6) Where do you take your inspiration from? 

I have about a million fics bookmarked from over the years, literally fics from when I was in high school to now. They’re so gorgeously written and they inspire me to write. I pretty much only read non-fiction outside of fanfic so, that doesn’t really work.

7) What’s your favorite scene that you’ve written?

Bathtub/Bedroom scene in the second part of “Bungalows and Baths”

8) Have you ever amended a story due to criticisms you’ve received after posting it?

Yep. In one fic, I included a descriptive characteristic for the reader that implied she was white. It hadn’t even occurred to me but, I immediately fixed it when someone pointed it out.

9) Who is your favorite character to write for? Why? 

Tossup between Bucky and Steve. Bucky has the very obvious trauma and grief that’s interesting to write about but, Steve has a lot of buried darkness that’s subtle and extremely intriguing.

10) Who is your least favorite character to write for? Why?

Maybe Bruce? I don’t care that much for his character (despite the fact I love Hulk)

11) How do you come up with the titles for your stories? 

A lot of the time, it’s a line that’s said throughout the narrative. However, I have a word doc filled with random quotes I like and I usually throw something together. I always think up the title at the end and it’s always an afterthought. Titles blow.

12) What do you think is the best idea you’ve had for a story so far?

I am currently writing a Bucky x Reader fic (TRYING TO AT LEAST) that is going to take the team to New Orleans. It’s going to involve vampires since I wrote a novella about vampires back in high school and want to re-explore that mythology. However, there is going to be a lot of twists and it won’t be an AU, it’s just introducing the possibility of vampires in the MC universe. The reader and Bucky will both be struggling with the idea of themselves as monsters and trying to help themselves through that. It’s going to be a lot of voodoo and magic and angsty “will they, won’t they”. I’m going off on a tangent now but, that’s the gist. I have not written an actual series in a long time so, this would be my first one.

13) Do you have any abandoned WIP’s? What made you abandon them?

There are many half-filled one- page word docs on my desktop that are rotting away as we speak. I just get bored or think of something else.

14) Are there any stories that you’ve written that you’d really love to do a sequel to?

I’d love to do more fics with the same reader from Bungalows and Baths.

15) Are there any stories that you wished you’d ended differently?

Lol I’m actually annoyed with how I ended 6 Times right now. Not sure why.

16) Tell me about another writer(s) who you admire? What is it about them that you admire?

Omg I admire so many but, here are a few.

@bitsandbobsandstuff – obviously for her “Safe with Me” piece which is fantastic, emotional and well-paced. Pacing/keeping the reader on their toes is the hardest thing for me in a series and so, I really admire her ability to do that. I also LOVED her “A Million Invisible Threads” piece because it’s such a gorgeous character study on the Winter Soldier

@a-splash-of-stucky  – She’s the Queen of Angst duh and a GORGEOUS writer. I love her stuff. A Messed Up Place left me weak.

@imhereforbvcky – Her “Mirror for the Sun” fic inspired me to start writing from Bucky’s POV actually. She’s just a beautiful writer.

@tilltheendwilliwrite – I love everything she writes. I love all the mythology she brings to her fics while still staying within the Avengers universe. Her smut is on another level, too. I find myself rereading her stuff again and again.

17) Do you have a story that you look back on and cringe when you reread it?

Here and there. There are definitely moments in a fic where I think why did I keep that. It’s usually because I ended it too quickly or just wanted it over.

18) Do you prefer listening to music when you’re writing or do you need silence? 

I love music when I write fics. It’s all movie scores. I have a spotify playlist for it.

19) Have you ever cried whilst writing a story?

I’ve cried (ish) when writing anything that has to do with alcohol/substance abuse. I’ve been in and out of AA for the past two years and have finally started recovery again. I also have depression so, writing about that can leave me raw. Writing truly always helps though.

20) Which part of your fics have been the hardest to write?

SMUT. Jesus Christ. I struggle so hard with making smut sound hot, as well as lyrical so, it can fit with the narrative. I don’t want to reuse anything I’ve used in other fics before or repeat words but, it’s SO hard (pardon the pun). I always forget what position they’re in and where the body parts need to go. It’s legitimately why I have yet to write a Stucky x Reader fic. I can’t introduce another person into my difficult SMUT journey.

21) Do you make a general outline for your stories or do you just go with the flow? 

I usually have a general idea and I’ll have a very vague outline going. I just write everything out like word vomit and go back and edit.

22) What is something you wished you’d known before you started posting fan-fiction? 

That some of the best stories I’ve read aren’t necessarily the ones with the most likes or comments. I stumble upon stuff and wonder “HOW DOES THIS NOT HAVE 2K LIKES”.

23) Do you have a story that you feel doesn’t get as much love as you’d like?

That’s tough. Maybe the stuff I wrote in the beginning where I didn’t have many followers. I loved the concept of “You Don’t Mean for it to Happen” but, sometimes I want to rewrite the whole thing. I put a lot of myself into “I Think of You All the Time” but, I feel like that got some good traction. IDK.  Bungalows and Baths got a crazy amount of love. Did not expect that but, v grateful.

24) In contrast to 23 is there a story which gets lots of love which you kinda eye roll at? 

Nope. I appreciate any love haha.

25) Are any of your characters based on real people?

Well, I think it goes without saying that every reader character has a little bit of the author in there. I think I pull from some of my friends but, not really.

26) What’s the biggest compliment you’ve gotten? 

Someone once said that their soul was marked by “Bungalows and Baths” which was amazing haha.

27) What’s the harshest criticism you’ve gotten?

I haven’t really gotten criticism other than that time I screwed up on including a feature for a white reader. I felt terrible about that.

28) Do you share your story ideas with anyone else or do you keep them close to your chest?

Not really. I don’t have people to share them with haha.

29) Do people know you write fan-fiction?

My best friend knows but, she doesn’t read fanfic. Shockingly, my mom and sister know but, I told them that they could never read them. I just share reviews with them. My mom likes to know that I’m staying creative.

30) What’s you favorite minor character you’ve written? 

Oh jeez idk if I have one. Natasha isn’t considered a minor character but, she usually plays a side character in my stories and she’s fun to write for.

31) What spurs you on during the writing process?

Once I get started, I’m usually good at keeping it going. Music helps.

32) What’s your favorite trope to write?

Probably slow burn romance or one of the lovers is injured/captured. I also am a huge sucker for love triangles because I’m greedy AF.

33) Can you remember the first fic you read? What was it about?

Lawl this might not have been the first one but, I read a Lizzie Mcguire SMUT piece when I was maybe in 6th grade and was severely chilled to the bone. I was trash even at 12.

34) If you could write only angst, fluff or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why?

Angst. I always write better when I’m emotionally distraught and tortured. Although as I get older, I realize this isn’t fabulous for my own mental health.

[lilolilyrae]

New writer ask

@onaperduamedee

Answering on here because I have once again reached post limit on @lilolilyr (as you can see in the post below xD), oh joy! I sometimes really wish the post limit checker also counted sideblogs so I'd know how many posts of the day I have left... Well, atm it's useless for me anyway bc it glitches at my pinned post and I don't wanna take it down!

50. Weirdest story idea you’ve ever had.

For some reason, my brain read this as 'read' instead of 'had', so here's my answer for fics and fic ideas I've seen out there first, then I'll get to my own ideas xD

My immediate thought was about the sex lives of various innanimate objects that I would have never even considered to write about in any way ever but um the Internet can be a very strange place xD

Apart from that? Probably the story where Hogwarts has access to a spaceship. And like, what's even weirder is that the story makes complete sense in itself??

For my own story ideas: idk about weird?? The thing is that all my story ideas start out fairly tame and canon compliant-ish and then get longer and longer and AU-er and crossoverisher the longer I let them simmer instead of actually writing anything, and my headcanon crossover multiverse is probably a very strange place for anyone but me, but I couldn't pinpoint any particular weird parts of it, really?

Weirdest one-shot ideas: idk, does Crowley (good omens) pole dancing count as weird? Writing for poolnoodel-level rarepairs of one-episode minor characters in crime shows? Making a character in PotC that I don't even remember the canon name of anymore genderbent to have a lesbian couple? Idk! Somebody tell me what my weirdest fics are? XD

I mean, I probably also had a bunch of weird fic ideas that got discarded because of that, but then my memory is too bad to remember those, hell I had to look at my ao3 fandom list to even remember the above!

-- TWsFOR THE NEXT PARAGRAPH: GORE, INJURY, TRANS BODY DYSPHORIA --

Wait, there are some fucked up TOG ideas that haven't made it out of the draft stages (yet), namely one that I tend to call the Andronilynh pain sex fever dream (and have in fact already shared the WIP of on the discord), where mortal!Andy gets injured and ends up with a prosthetic arm or leg, but in the end she regains her immortality and the prosthetic falls off because the limb grows back, but slowly and painfully and basically Nile and Quynh fuck her through it to ease the pain... and another one about trans woman!Andy being unable to transition because of the immortality, with dysphoria and blood gore body horror and maybe a (happy?!) ending of cutting herself in half and operating on the bottom half before piecing herself together again to trick her body into thinking it's correct that way... Not being a trans woman myself idk whether to write that, I mean it was just a plot bunny and while I don't read gore, when for once I have a gory fic idea I do tend to write it because like. It can't fucking terrify me anymore than it already does in my mind?? But again not a trans woman and while fic is not mainstream media and doesn't have to worry about representation and shit as much, and I'd never tell anyone not to write a fic about something themselves when they have an idea for a story just because it's not their own experience... I still feel kinda weird about it but I Def wouldn't want to ask a trans woman about it and force her to think about my potentially triggering fic idea?? Then I'd rather just write it and tag appropriately... We'll see.

52. How did writing change you?

I'm not sure whether writing itself changed me very much? Or rather, I've been coming up with stories and also writing them down since such a young age that it's hard to tell whether any changes are from writing in particular.

Posting fic changed me in being less of a perfectionist even in what I share publicly, in being kinder both to myself and to others about what we create, and to really understand that being nice goes a long way and one thoughtless comment can ruin someone's day, and to try to never be that person.

writer ask

Thank you so much for the questions, these were interesting ones! Did you also reblog the ask meme? Then I'd ask something back :)