#just falling over myself in love with this baby boy who deserved better than he got

[grapejuicestyless]

Good Luck, Babe!

Harry Styles x Fem!reader

Summery: Harry could run around the world in search of a replacement to fill the void that you left, but he’s better off coming to terms with the fact that he’d have to stop the world just to stop the feeling.

I’m okay knowing I won’t ever get to call my future lover my high school sweetheart. It’s hard to stay committed to someone for decades as an adult, let alone at sixteen. But it pulls at my heart strings just to know little me would be so devastated knowing the boy who used to string up fairy lights and scribble on big bubbles letters on poster boards for our prom decided I was too boring for his massive life and left once the glitter from all the glamour of fame got in his eyes.

It’s funny to think about, ten years thrown away forever because my stable life wasn’t worth living when he could offer me anything I could ever dream of. God forbid I want to settle down with some little ones to teach nothing but love in a world where everyone can only ever teach their children hate. God forbid I wanted that with him.

No, my dreams were stupid compared to those of his own. Children mean nothing to him if he’s not taking home another award for his excellence. Settling down is a laughable dream, how could I expect him to ever even try when it seemed like with every single chance to start trying he was at a new peak in his career.

When I left him, he didn’t even look sad. Not even when I turned to face him as I walked out of our front door with all my things stuffed in a bag slung over my arm. He looked distant, sure, but not sad and that made me sad, for me but mainly for him.

Three years ago if I had even shown signs of unhappiness he would have stopped the world to fix our issues, ironed it all out real nice to make sure that I never felt that feeling again. Now I could beg on my knees pleading for him to hear me and my cries would fall on deaf ears.

But I don’t regret leaving him in the end. It hurt at first, leaving behind all I ever knew, letting him go after I wasted away all my youth on him, but life goes on and my heart would heal the longer we were apart.

Occasionally he would reach out, letters with the same swooping letters that I recognized as his own handwriting, the same writing that once wrote me love letters, all addressed to me with the hopes of meeting up.

But I knew myself better than that, I knew Harry better than that. If I met him, even only for coffee our night would end with me back in his arms and his head between my legs. We weren’t ever meant to split, but then again no one who’s ever felt the same kind of love like young kids is ever made to walk away from something so sweet.

I was better for it, between each letter there was a new girl. A model who resembled me in the most vague ways. I wondered all the time if he ever accidentally called any of them my name. If he chose them with my eye color so when he looked into their eyes he could see mine for just a second. It felt like each week he was caught leaving some bar with some other girl, someone else’s lipstick staining his jaw.

I got over him slowly, never fully, but enough to love again. I had room to give once more and enough strength left to keep fighting for the love I deserved. I earned the right to be able to hold someone who would call me “baby” with pride, without the slightest hesitation or embarrassment.

Harry could kiss a hundred girls and boys in bars, drink away his twenties and sing to his fans across the world, and I would be here chasing my own dreams. After all, he always needed the spotlight, he lived for it. All I needed was a little love, and somehow in his search for glory, he lost any kind of that he had and I had found it again.

I saw Harry a couple years later, the small bar in Brooklyn with the good music and sweaty bodies. He looked good, he always did. His hair looked a little grey and I must admit, I almost drooled, but looks were the only attraction I would ever feel for him. Emotionally, I was cut off, even when he leaned up close and pressed me into a bone crushing hug.

With a cool smile on his face he asked me confidently what I was doing here and how I’d been. I told him a friend of a friend had invited me along to come celebrate an old friend’s birthday, that I didn’t really want to drink tonight and was just trying to enjoy myself.

I could see his hesitation when an arm slung itself over my shoulders, curly brown hair tickling my cheek and a kind smile flashing towards him and somehow in our conversation, I forgot the most important update in my life, one I’d make sure he’d never forget.

“Who’s this?” He asked kindly, ready to introduce himself even though we were all well aware everyone in the room knew him by name.

“Oh, Harry, how rude of me!” I laughed at the time, but I’m still not sure if he could hear it over the music. I hope he did, because it would have been the last time he would hear it.

“Harry, this is my girlfriend.”

[asmolguy]

Gonna make a list of characters that are so painfully little coded everything in my brain just goes “baby” whenever I watch them. Plus one caregiver. (And one real dude which feels kinda rude since he’s just like. A guy. Living his life. So you can ignore that one. But I wanted to point it out.)

Lloyd from Lego ninjago. Dude. Canon family trauma + canon forced to end his childhood early. Prime agere material. There are so many good fics of little Lloyd just littling. He’s tiny boi. So baby. So perfect.

Cole from Lego ninjago. He is. So caregiver built. I think it hurts to watch sometimes. So gentle so sweet. Get this man a child or a little or something to care for I swear. He just needs to parent. It’s in his blood and carved into his bones.

Branch from trolls. Ya’ll did you watch movie 3? The family trauma times two. The way he uses a pacifier to lock in. Someone was straight up weaving that into the fabric of his being as a character. He’s not little coded he’s little written. Plus in the show he has a little stuffie named Croco and I love that for him. There’s also some good agere Branch fics, but not enough. I need more. Pwease. He is so smol and so grumpy just everyone write him as the baby boi he deserves to be I beg.

Spider-Man but specifically for ultimate Spider-Man (btw if anyone’s looking for good regression shows and you fall around like 5-10 it’s a very good show because it’s long and has a good mix of humor and that show is my jam dude when I’m big and little). But anyone. Ultimate Spider-Mans Spider-Man is so stressed all of the time. He is just a teen. And he’s handling so many unruly teens. And in the later seasons when he’s handling the entirety of shield while being worried about nova. Give the boy a break and let someone take care of him. He’s both little and caregiver coded btw. I adore the fics where everyone calls him daddy longlegs because that is straight up what the last season is. Just him being a father to all these troubled ass powered teenagers while being so troubled himself. But then he’s also so little. He pouts and needs so much love and he’s scared all of the time and he is traumatized and then that one ep where that got turned into those weird chibi things the show tried to convince us were children I want to believe awakened something in him and he is now little sometimes.

Ian Hecox. Listen. I am aware that he is just a dude. Like a real guy. Who cannot be coded because he just exists. But I see. So much of myself in him. It kind of makes a part of my heart hurt that no one like every really seriously criticizes his more childish behavior (even for the bit on a YouTube video) because it makes me feel better about the small ways I slip in public or with my friends sometimes. There’s literally “everyone babying Ian hecox” comps online. His habit of saying scawed or newvous is unironically a blessing and curse since now all my friends who also watch Smosh do it so it’s not weird if I do it but then sometimes I have to pause and be like “is this for the bit or am I slipping right now. Both? Neither?” That one tntl (#91) where they did the blind pairs (btw one of the funniest ones ever in my opinion absolute hall of famer, the fish one, burning the pool, m’lei, all incredible bits. It’s like. The video I show people to try to get them into Smosh.) and Ian puts on overalls and walks out with an Elmo and is like “I’m five” and then after the bit is over he stays in character and when he’s like “elmo…” and damien is like “yeah bud I made sure to miss him with the spit” and then Ian drags the toy through he spit and everyone in the room is just like “aww man” like everyone is truly just like Ian dude you got your stuffed animal wet. Also Anthony being able to fully pick Ian up and carry him multiple ways. If you watch the behind the scenes for the my best friend is dead video Anthony 1. Is pumped to pick Ian up. 2. Does a baby cradle with Ian more than successfully. 3. Says “I got you bud” when Ian gets nervous and Ian goes “ok” in this tiny little voice and instantly relaxes. 4. When Anthony puts Ian down Ian follows him making grabby hands and says “I want uppies”. More little Ian caregiver Anthony fics when. Except not really because again don’t really want to put any of this on real people just doing comedic bits that I happen to feel in my soul a bit too much.

And finally, Max thunderman. I mean. Just watch the show. The pouts. The frequent fake sobbing and sniffling. The fact that he needs a childhood back after Phoebe was put on a pedestal. Someone give me soft thundertwins fic where max is a little and Phoebe is a cargegiver please I need it. And I am. So bad at writing. I would love you forever and ever if you did.

[hayatoseyepatch]

hi pookie wookie ilysm 💅 congratz on the milestone you deserve it.

I AM HERE FOR A MATCH UP POOKIE no pressure tho

Im on anon but Im sure you can figure out who I am so it don't really matter but I gotta keep ya on ya toes 😤

Personality: You know me sooooo well tbh, Introverted as hell, I gotta a dog. I do art, and listen to music really. music is lifeee iykyk. I can yap a lot when Im finally comfy with people Im around. Im just a girl yk I get shy or whatvr.

Fandoms: jjk, l&ds, DS, and tokrev

Trope: childhood friends to lovers, and love are first sight are the two that I simple adore the most.

What’s your Type: someone who is a bit more out there than myself, but also shares the same interests as myself. I wanna be able to paint with them or even sharing playlists/song that remind me of my partner. Someone who could burn the world for me but is actually really sweet yk? like dress how you want I can fight.

Favorites: Megumi, Yuji, Yuta, Inumaki, Rafayel, Xavier, Shinazugawa brothers, tengen, Haitani brothers, Haruchiyo, Hanma

➼ Icks: FUCKING KISAKI DO NOT 🔫.

Hi there my pookie wookie bear ( ˶˘ ³˘(ˊᗜˋ)!♡ I know exactly who this is but I will let you keep your anonymity if that is what you desire my love. Thank you for the congratulations and for taking part in this event I adore you! That being said, let's do the damn thing!

First I match you with Rafayel from Love & Deepspace!

⤜♡→ Rafayel is so dramatic, you better be able to deal with his sass. He’s such a grump. But only because of how dearly he loves you. He has waited for you time and time again and he will stop at nothing to make you fall for him over and over again. Even if its through hearing your laughter at his dramatics.

⤜♡→ You have a dog? Yeah, Rafayel is jealous of the baby doggie. If he feels you are giving more of your attention to your pet he throws himself on the bed next to you, huffing dramatically until your focus was on him. “Oh no don’t mind me I’m just over here dying from the lack of love and affection. Please go back to what you were doing, I’m not a good boy or anything.” He huffs, his cheeks puffed out in a pout. Yeah, he’s so dramatic its insane.

⤜♡→ This man is so devoted to you, he will never miss an opportunity to spend time with you. Despite the way he behaves he is very emotionally intelligent. Rafayel is very in tune with your emotions, he always seems to know when you're not feeling your best. And he is fully prepared to do whatever he can t see you smile again. (Or handle anyone who dared make you feel lesser than.)

⤜♡→ His love languages definitely strikes me as quality time and physical touch. Rafayel needs to have his hands on you at all times. Not even remotely in a sexual way. He is perfectly content so long as he can feel your hand in his, kissing the backs of your knuckles occasionally. Or even listening to the music you had curated for him in a playlist as you both painted in his studio. He just wanted to be around you at all times, so long as he was in your proximity he was happy.

Rafayel snorted as you bustled around his studio, setting up for some trend you had seen online. Rafael loved that you shared his love for art, nothing made him happier than sharing his passion with the woman he was most passionate about. He followed your instructions, sitting down at the table across from you. You explained the premise of the activity. You both would start with a canvas, swapping in intervals of five minutes to add elements to each piece. By the end of it you would have two pieces of collaborative art that you both created together. His heart soared at the idea. Knowing he would have two pieces of art you both created from start to finish together made him fall even more in love with you. He was already picturing the perfect sport for them in his gallery, he might even attend the next exhibition to boast about the pieces. But this was Rafayel it wouldn’t be him if he didn’t tease you just a bit. Resting his cheek in his palm as he looked at you from across the table.

“Five minutes? You can't put a timer on my artistic perfection, starfish.” He said dramatically, putting a hand to his chest to emphasize his words. “Oh?” He heard you coo. “Is that what you call it? Or are you scared my additions will be better than yours, hm?” He gasped, crossing his arms, furrowing his brows with a pout on his lips. He sucked his teeth, making a tsking sound. “What-ev-er.” He punctuated each syllable to add to his dramatics. Eyes now alight with determination, prepared to make these the best creations he had ever made, just to make you swallow your words. The next two hours were met with rounds of smack-talking exchanged through giggles and refusals to let Rafayel steal kisses (a clear ruse to let his eyes wander to what you were doing in that round).

When you were both done he had hung them to dry eyes wandering over the canvases. The knowledge that you had both made your contributions to each piece made this feel so intimate, so special. It made him feel so in love, so moved. Unable to help himself. He turned to you, his hand cupping the back of your neck. Lips hovering over your own. “I love you, my beloved bride.” The age-old nickname fell from his lips before he could realize it, silencing any questions you could have about the meaning of his words by connecting his lips with yours. Rafayel has loved you countless times, in countless lifetimes, and over and over again he would make you his wife. And this one was no exception.

⤜♡→ Oh GOD Megumi just SCREAMS childhood best friends to lovers to me I’m so sorry! Like being like Shoko’s little sister, raised right beside Megumi within the walls of Jujutsu Tech. The two of you growing and training together. You definitely had a backyard wedding at like five and you bring it up all the time cause he gets so flustered. DHBSDICHF

⤜♡→ Please be patient with Megumi the poor boy is emotionally constipated and absolutely HOPELESS. He tries so hard to keep it from seeming like he cares, but he is so in love with you its actually insane. He would risk his life time and time again just if it meant you’d be safe.

⤜♡→ Megumi gets JEALOUS he pretends like he couldn’t care less but hearing you speak with Inumaki, fully fluent in his ingredient speech, just know he is seething. He knows you can be a bit reserved at first but seeing you talking so freely and laughing with him makes the ugly green monster rear his head. He’s gonna give you the silent treatment, he’s so dramatic in a relationship I just know it.

⤜♡→Formation B was definitely started by you and Gojo. A thousand percent it was. I feel like Gojo knew about your feelings before Megumi did, and oh boy did our favorite blue-eyed meddler try and fail so long to play match maker. (Def cried and was so dramatic about you two getting together, I love him sm).

Panic consumed Megumi’s entire being, Nue’s wings couldn’t carry you both fast enough back within the walls of Jujutsu Tech. It had all happened so fast. It was just supposed to be a grade two curse, something the both of you would be able to handle with your eyes closed. But a special grade had appeared out of nowhere, he watched helplessly as you were attacked. Tears stung his eyes as he landed, collecting you in his arms. “Don’t you dare close your eyes, stay with me.” He begs, rushing as fast as his feet would carry him to the hospital wing where Shoko was. He watched with bated breaths as you were taken from his arms. Neither of you capable of reversed cursed technique, this was bad. This was so very bad. Megumi wasn’t very forthcoming with his feelings, often hiding behind his stoic persona. He never told you he loved you, what if he lost you? What if you slipped from his fingers before he could tell you how he felt?

The next hours were torturous, he all but leaped from his seat as Shoko emerged. He heaved a sigh of relief to hear you were stable, that you had pulled through. He didn’t leave your side, ignoring Gojo and Itadori’s pleas with him to sleep in his own bed, to eat something. He couldn’t stomach the idea, couldn’t bring himself to leave your side. He was sat in a chair next to your bed eyes drooping as he struggled to stay awake. Though he felt like he was doused with ice-cold water as he heard you groan, your eyes finally fluttering open. His body moved quickly, scrambling to your form, careful not to harm any of your injuries. He was careful when he cupped your cheeks, tears falling once more as he called out your name in a mix of shock and relief, head coming to rest in your chest as he sobbed. He didn’t care, couldn’t be bothered to push his emotions down.

“Moonlight, almost made me a single dad, you ass”. He joked through sobs trying his damnedest to relieve some of the tension that filled the room like a heavy fog. You had always claimed that his divine dogs were your children, he’d give you the satisfaction elated to hear your voice once more. His ears perked up when you let out a soft laugh at his words, frowning seeing you wincing a bit as you spoke. “I could never leave you and our babies all alone it’ll take more than that to get rid of me.” Your words put him at ease more than you know, he couldn’t control himself any longer, however. He almost lost you, he couldn’t live another moment without letting you know how he felt. His lips met yours before you knew what was happening. His hand gently cupping the back of your neck as he deepened the embrace. He pulled from you, pressing his forehead against your own, eyes boring into your own.

“I love you, I love everything about you. I love your smile, I love your laugh, I love how you always know when I need you most, I love that you always know just what to say, I love your devotion, I love the way you're willing to lay your life on the line for your friends. I can't imagine another moment going by without telling you. I spent so long keeping it to myself but I will use the last breath in my lungs to tell you how much I love you. Its always only ever been you, so please don’t leave me. I cant bear to live in a world that your aren’t in.” He huffs his heart sinking when he hears your laughter, bracing himself for rejection. “I love you too silly Gumi-Bear. Took you long enough, I thought I was going to have to do it for you.” In that moment he couldn’t help but join in on your laughter heart soaring at finally being able to call you his.

[demigod-of-the-agni]

FF7 REBIRTH SPOILERS ft. Some of my thoughts on the Golden Saucer Dates >:))))))

I will proclaim which one is my favourite

warning: i hate dates. therefore all my opinions on the following, and my final verdict, are correct. good day.

Alone

Cloud's lonely gold saucer outing, when he comes across Jessie's picture and he tells her, "Hey, still waiting for that pizza" with the most saddest eyes ever.... be still my weeping heart

Also I love how he acknowledges that the skywheel is a couple's thing, then proceeds to board it anyway 💀 it'd be nice to see the whole thing by yourself though (<- i am an introvert what more can i say)

Tifa

Tifa's little spiel about wanting to make friends always hits me like a tonne of bricks, everything she says is FUEL TO MY STUPID AUs... WOMAN <33333

When they Jessie's picture and Tifa talks about Jessie saved her.... oh... oh my heart. i cannot take this anymore

WHEN THE FIREWORKS GO OFF AND THE COLOURS OF THEIR EYES BRIGHTEN,,, AND THEN HUG JUMPSCARE,,,, AND THEN KISS !!!!!!!! oughhh,,,, it's so good,,,,,,, everything is so perfect about the scene they are just. everything

Aerith

NAHHH THE DISRESPECT MY MAN HAD BY SITTING OPPOSITE TO MY GIRL.... HOW RUDE. Aerith deserved to spin the carriage around until Cloud spits out all the mako in him

RAGH when the laser show had them crashing into each other and they just sit down defeated next to each other.... it was so funny,,,, task failed successfully

WHEN CLOUD REACHED OVER TO HOLD HIS HAND IN AERITH'S.... THAT MAKES THE ENDING HIT SO MUCH HARDER. NO ONE TOUCH ME EVER AGAIN

Yuffie

In my mind Yuffie seems like she's 12 (i know she's 16 or so do NOT come at me) so the date is really just Cloud babysitting her and honestly it went just as I expected: adorably :''3 Yuffie speaking for the both of them, so real of her

"I swear Cloud, it's like you're destined to be surrounded by smoking hot chicks" [strikes a pose] and Cloud laughing like yeah, you're a little silly Yuffie

GIRL WAS DOING JUMPING JACKS WHILE WAITING FOR CLOUD TO HAND OVER THE SKYWHEEL TICKETS AJSHSHSL

WHEN SHE STARTS TALKING ABOUT ZACK... AND THEN SHE CATCHES CLOUD LAUGHING AT HER LATER AND SHE SIH-SIH-HAH'S HIM.... AND HE PLAYS ALONG TOO.... be still my screaming heart,,, the boy is embodying Zack in more ways than one

Barret

"Well, well, I wake baby from his nap?" if this were said to me I would immediately leave and mess up Barret's bed. let's see who gets better sleep after that

Anyways I'm forever in love with how, between the two of them, money jokes are their form of love. like that gets to me you know

BARRET'S "IN-KWEH-DIBLE" WILL FOREVER BE SEARED INTO MY BRAIN BY THE WAY. HE SOUNDS SO DELIGHTED AT SAYING THAT. I'M CHERISH IT FOREVER

Red XIII

"I already have the tickets, but look at me... there's no way I'm getting in by myself" dude look at you HOW DID YOU GET THE TICKETS

Red and Cloud are just having a guy's night, it's just so lit, I love it so much they are just good bros and no I'm not tearing up :''3

The two shaking hands is also so incredibly touching to me... they are just little guys!!! and then the "They ARE soft!" from Cloud,,, perfect timing my guy !!!!

Cait, Vincent, and Cid

ALL THREE OF THEM STANDING OUTSIDE THE DOOR HAD ME CACKLING BECAUSE. THE IMPLICATIONS OF HOW ALL THREE OF THEM DECIDED TO RECRUIT CLOUD INTO THEIR GUY'S NIGHT??? well maybe not all three, Vincent being Vincent was probably coerced into it, and Cid just wanted to tag along. The culprit of this outing was-

Vincent falling asleep is incredibly in character and relatable. return this man to his coffin. two decades of sleeping is not enough.

Cait pulling his hairs out is fucking sending me, poor lad

AND NOW... THE MOMENT YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR.... WHICH DATE WAS BEST???

Vincent, Cait and Cid. boys' night. it's an automatic win

jk but I loved Clerith's date the most... maybe it is because I follow tragedy and it follows me, but while the Clofi date is Canon, the Clerith date is so tender, and it really signals to me the could-have-been's. and i love the could-have-been's ykyk

okay bye

[cuddlebugsirius]

Jess’ Top 22 of 2022

I decided to do a fic rec list of my 22 top fics that I read in 2022, from lots of different ships and fandoms. We’re here to celebrate the effort that fellow writers put into creating magic for us all, fanfiction is such a massive part of my life and I think it deserves to have a spotlight shone on it’s greatness. 

[I limited myself to 1 fic/series per author, which was more of a challenge than I thought it would be 😂]

So in no particular order and without further ado...

Bring Him to His Knees - 245k+, Dramione, E Rated

Draco is on the case of a murderer, but to investigate, he needs a fake relationship - and a kink club play partner. When Hermione volunteers to take the role, both do their best to maintain the lie without letting each other know the truth: neither of them are acting.

Solntse - 60k+, Wolfstar, E Rated

Sirius, a young Russian billionaire hires Remus, who is working part time as a call boy to make ends meet. Things happen, feelings occur.

Did You Miss Me - 640k+, Wolfstar & Jily, E Rated

Though the new boy at Hogwarts University, James Potter, appears to be an adorable himbo with deep pockets, Remus Lupin and his friends instead find a horrifically dark past on Google. Did he really attack that boy and leave him for dead? Why won't he talk about his mysterious childhood best friend, "Pups"? Would it kill him to stop messing with his hair?

At least Remus got his phone back after losing it, but now he can't stop texting the mysterious number of the man who had sent it back. Padfoot is funny and charming, and Remus is NOT going to fall in love with him.

The PB to my J [AKA the one that converted Jess into a Wolfstar writer] - 270k+, Wolfstar, E Rated 

A Modern AU Marauders texting with prose fic set at University.

Mainly Wolfstar - Will they? Won’t they? (They obviously will...) And a little bit of Jily too.

A Second Look - 120k+, Dramione, M Rated

Her best friend's life was a mess and she would have done anything to make things better for him and his sons. So, when she found her former enemy in a similar situation her heart went out to him as well... and the beautiful blond baby in his arms didn't hurt his case. It was certainly enough for her to give him a second look.

oh, I’m gonna let the future in - 40k+, Scorpius Malfoy/Albus Potter, T Rated

Al doesn’t know what he’s doing. Not just with the new apartment, but with his life in general, and it doesn't help that his family quietly looks down on him. It feels as if they’re always waiting for him to do something spectacular, but without actually expecting it of him. They’ve given up on expecting anything of him.

Al only speaks English, and he sings in the shower, badly. He likes tea, and he cleans when he’s stressed. He sees a therapist. He has a total of two friends, and one of them is his cousin. He isn’t smart; he’s simple.

He wishes that could be enough.

Brooklyn Heights Books - 180k+, Stucky, E Rated

A man wearing a light denim jacket over a dark blue shirt came into the shop, a box tucked under his right arm. Despite it being late afternoon, he was wearing sunglasses with bright blue lenses, and his long, dark hair was pulled back in a messy little bun. A few strands had escaped, framing his strong, unshaven jawline. The man looked into the café, smiled widely, and waved in Clint’s direction as he kept walking into the bookstore, and Steve’s mouth went completely dry.

Beautiful, was the only word to describe that smile; straight, white teeth framed by full, lush, red lips, bracketed by laugh lines and an adorable dimple in his right cheek, a charming little chin cleft just visible under the light stubble—Steve was struck literally speechless. And that was before he got a glimpse of the man’s backside. Slim hips and a round, firm-looking ass led to long, lean legs that were encased in snug, dark blue jeans.

“Guh,” Steve said, watching the dark-haired man continue on to the back of the store.

‘tis the damn season - 70k+, Wolfstar, T Rated

“Where are you going?”

Remus turns. Sirius looks delightful; wine-flush and December drizzle painting his pale, pretty face the deepest carmine red. His spindly hands are twiddling at his front, as if he doesn’t know quite what to do with them. He sniffs, and exhales corporeal ice that sends a shiver running down Remus’ spine. He’s not sure if it’s from the cold or the alcohol or… something else.

Clean - 115k+, Dramione, M Rated

Malfoy's handsome face was contoured into a condescending smirk. "No faith in that giant brain of yours, Granger?" She looked up at him defiantly. "Maybe I don't have faith in you!" she said, raising her voice. Malfoy only looked at her. "You'll find I'm very surprising." 

Second Generation - 45k+, Wolfstar, E Rated

Remus Lupin and Sirius Black spent their late teens in a happy haze of sex, troublemaking, and playing in their band, but break up in college. But when their respective children get in trouble together more than 20 years later, Remus and Sirius find themselves at odds with their very different parenting styles and dealing with a spark that was never quite extinguished.

Dreamers - 45k+, Wolfstar, M Rated

In which Sirius did twelve years and meets Remus on a creative writing workshop.

The Searching Ceremonies - 580k+, Sterek, M Rated

Derek is being pressured by his family to pick a mate, and somehow stumbles into a choice that they didn't expect and aren't sure they approve of....

Quid Pro Quo - 105k+, Darklina, E Rated

The Slow Burn Breeding Kink Political AU

Cannibals - 20k+, Darklina, E Rated

It was very brief, the affair Alina Starkov had with her father.

Or: The Father-Daughter Incest AU

no shelter but mine - 65k+, Darklina, E Rated

“If you’re so worried about your daughter then why are you wasting your time yelling at me instead of caring for her?”

He stills. His fists clench, just once, and she can see the muscles in his jaw working, like it is taking him every ounce of will not to unhinge it, lean across the counter, and rip out her throat with his teeth.

Then he turns, without a word, and storms out the door, the tails of his black coat flying behind him like a cloak. Aleksander is in need of a nanny for his six-month-old daughter. As it so happens, Alina is the only person she likes.

Action - 20k+, Jaime Lannister/Brienne of Tarth, E Rated

Jaime’s a famous action hero. Brienne is the stunt coordinator on his latest movie. She’s hated him since the moment they met, and the feeling is mutual. But there are ways to work out their aggression.

Lost & Found - 95k+, Jon Snow/Sansa Stark, E Rated

When she realizes the husband she knew had departed, and she now had cold & hard mobster in his place, Sansa fakes her death and starts a new life in Wales.

And then Jon finds her.

It gets so hard to breathe (when you’re looking at me) - 57k+, Wolfstar, E Rated

When Sirius turns up at Remus' flat after the events at the Triwizard Tournament, he doesn't expect to find himself sharing a bed with Remus. Or getting so intimately involved in his life. Or to find out that they're mates and Remus wants nothing more than to push him up against the wall and make him forget his own name.

Or to feel so very complete.

But Sirius isn't complaining. Not one bit.

The Player’s Secret - 50k+, Wolfstar, M Rated

“So what’s he like? Full of it? Arrogant?”

“Yes,” he says, because he thinks that is a fair assessment. Sirius Black is full of it. He is arrogant. He’s also entitled and needy and smug. He’s talented, reckless, moody, selfish, childish, charming and sweet, and a million different other things Remus is trying to wrap his head around.

Sirius Black is hard work.

Remus Lupin is a successful documentary filmmaker who is assigned to make a fly-on-the-wall documentary featuring Sirius Black - one of the world's most brilliant footballers - as he competes in the European Championship.

All does not go smoothly.

The Same Way I Like My Coffee - 35k+, Jon Snow/Sansa Stark, M Rated

Sansa Stark always liked her coffee hot and sweet. She finally found a guy that makes the sentence "I like my men the same way I like my coffee" real to her.

Jon snow has no right to be that hot.

Or: Sansa opens the coffee shop of her dreams, makes great friends and meets an unbelievably hot Jon Snow.

don’t pout, darling - 70k+, Dramione, E Rated

"when's the last time you let someone take care of you?"

"no one's ever wanted to," her whisper is delicate, sharp like porcelain glass, the edges raw and tender. she is sugar-soft, a little thing tucked into his chest, ears pressed against the heart that beats for her.

"i'll take care of you, i'm always going to take care of you," he cooed. “you're my sweet girl, my baby.”

or: a modern au ddlg fic

when we kiss: mmmm, fire - 39k+, Jon Snow/Sansa Stark, E Rated

Sansa might be seeing someone casually, but thanks to Arya, Robb, and Theon, it’s Jon who’s got the inside track on how to get Sansa to take him seriously.

aka: the one where jon finds out that sansa has a daddy kink, and he uses it to seduce her away from the dating scene and into his arms, heeeey-oh!

[reilora-borealis]

.... and you're NOT gonna tell us about the Shadowgast Playlist? Please 🫴, hand it over.

I said in my original post this was my toxic trait... nonetheless I am SO glad someone took the bait 😈

I'm not going to post the link because I value my spotify privacy and also I have an embarrassing username that no one needs to know about. However, since you asked nicely (and let's be honest, I wasn't expecting anyone to care! so thank you!), I will share ✨ my personal top 5 shadowgast songs ✨ with a bit of context for each.

If you're just here to roast my music taste, bear in mind... I said toxic trait. Proceed at your own risk.

1. Time in a Bottle by Jim Croce

"If I could make days last forever / If words could make wishes come true / I'd save every day like a treasure and then / Again, I would spend them with you..."

This one has two meaning imo: first, early-campaign Caleb wishing he could change the past to save his parents' lives; later, Essek wishing he had more time to spend with Caleb. The original version is beautiful, but there is also a cover by Yungblud (yes, it's on the Hobbs & Shaw soundtrack) that's badass but a very different vibe.

2. Lilith by Halsey

"I'm perfection when it comes to first impressions / I romanticize and then I get to stressing / Big brain like I'm teaching at a lesson / Baby, it's a blessing..."

Every time this song comes on I legit yell ESSEK ANTHEM! because it is. This is the Hot Villain theme song. The beat is so sexy. The lyrics are on point ("I am disgusting / I've been corrupted / And by now I don't need not help to be destructive"). The vibes are just immaculate.

3. No Halo by Brockhampton

"Went to church for the hell of it, stumbled in drunk as shit / Been going through it again / Been talking to myself, wondering who I am / Been thinking I am better than Him..."

Look. I could write an entire essay about this one song. Wizard hubris, depression, and the crisis of faith Essek goes through when the Nein find out about his betrayal. Also, for those who theorize Essek is the unwilling chosen of the Luxon - he could, in fact, be "God's special mess".

4. X&Y by Coldplay

"I dive in at the deep end / You become my best friend / I want to love you but I don't know if I can / I know something is broken / And I'm trying to fix it / Trying to repair it / Any way I can..."

Two characters who both think they are terrible people that don't deserve love, trying to be better and trying to better each other? And they fall in love? And they're narrative foils? No one is doing it like them! (Plus the chorus "You and me are drifting into outer space" just screams ~wizards in the star room~.)

5. All The Stars by Kendrick Lamar feat. SZA (album version)

"Tell me what you gon' do to me / Confrontation ain't nothing new to me / You can bring a bullet, bring a sword, bring a morgue / But you can't bring the truth to me..."

I don't know how this song manages to be both broody and uplifting at the same time, but it is and it's perfection. It's the grimness of reality and the hope for the future, the refrain of "All the stars are closer" symbolizing all the possibilities that are now within reach.

And oh boy, I don't have time to write about the whole playlist but if you've made it this far, here are some bonus mini listicles because this is my Roman Empire 😌

Entire playlist of just shadowgast-coded Hozier songs:

Arsonist's Lullabye

In The Woods Somewhere

De Selby (pt. 2)

Someone New

Like Real People Do

Moment's Silence

From Eden

All My Homies Hate Trent Ikithon songs:

Heathens by Twenty One Pilots

Eat Your Young by Hozier

Buzzkill by Mothica

Another Brick In The Wall, pt. II by Pink Floyd

My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark by Fall Out Boy

Other ships? In my shadowgast playlist? It's more likely than you think:

The Cave by Mumford & Sons (widobrave)

Cringe by Matt Maeson (widojest)

Tessellate by alt-J (blumendrei)

EDM wizard songs if you're into that sort of thing (I am):

Time Stops by Virtual Riot

I'd Love To Change The World (Matstubs Remix) by Jetta

I Could Be Anything by the Glitch Mob feat. Elohim

New Eyes by Echos

Keep in mind this is just a handful of songs out of like a hundred, so I welcome you to give me the benefit of the doubt and fill in the rest of the playlist in your mind with whatever makes me seem cool to you.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk, I am sorry it took me four days to write this... 😅

[iguana-eyanna]

The Blood Within Us Chapter 20

Pairing: Bruce Wayne x Reader

Summary: Will the reader do whatever it takes to protect the ones she loves when tragedy hits the Wayne family? How far will the truth be tested when she realizes she’s not the only one with secrets of her own?

a/n: this is the final chapter for this storyline. Thank you to everyone who has read this!

You stared down at the ground, hugging yourself in your coat as the weather started to creep on you.

You know it’s hard coming here on holidays, as your hand tightly holds onto a bouquet of flowers:

Lilies.

“I wish you could have seen her. Bruce says she looks like an exact copy of me, but I see so much of Bruce too. Is that how you felt when you have a baby of your own? Seeing two people in one tiny person?”

You laugh a bit, thinking of Bruce who has been staying up all night taking care of your daughter. He hasn’t left her side, too afraid of leaving.

“He’s at the car right now taking care of her, swearing she needs 10 coats to wear. Barely a month old and she already has him twirled around her finger.”

You bend down and place the flowers on the tombstone. You inhale deeply as you tear up a bit. A hand snakes on your waist, bringing you closer to him. You hug your husband as he held your daughter close to his chest.

“Mom, Dad… This is Lilith Robin, your granddaughter.” Bruce said as Lily stirred in her sleep. Soon, all your sons and Alfred joined you. It was a tradition to visit Bruce’s parents every Christmas. You could imagine they’d be proud of their son who truly changed for the better.

Soon, all of the boys start to walk toward one of the cars.

Tim opens his phone to see the news article about Maroni, now serving a life sentence in Gotham’s prison. Tim was surprised that Maroni hadn’t exposed Bruce’s identity to the world, but that might have to do with Dick and Jason. The younger brothers don’t know what their older brothers said to him, but they knew Maroni was scared shitless. All Jason could say is that Dick allegedly broke Maroni’s nose.

You hold onto Bruce’s arm as he held your daughter as you start walking to your own car with Alfred. Bruce hasn’t said much today as something was bothering him.

“Alfred, could you take Lily for a moment?” You ask, pausing your walk. Alfred nods his head and takes her away to the warm car. You could see how Bruce doesn’t want her too far but at least she’s with her grandfather.

You guide Bruce to a bench nearby and both sat down, snow falling down on you two. You tuck his grown hair behind his ear, an affection that soothes him. You know you don’t need to ask what’s wrong as he breathes in deeply looking down at his lap.

“When you were taken away from me… I felt like I stepped into this void of darkness. I was about to tear any man limb by limb. But then I got a taste of my own medicine too.” He looks at you, tears already brimming his eyes.

“Bruce… I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. Please know that I couldn’t tell you where I was just so I could get back at you, I’d never do that. I just had to do this for myself.”

“But so many things could have happened. Lily wouldn’t have-” Bruce choked up as he couldn’t even utter the rest of that sentence.

“Lily wouldn’t have her mother. And I can’t imagine a world without you in it.”

Now it was your turn to tear up, as you felt the past guilt creep up on you like a shadow consuming any light in yourself.

“Nine months ago, I thought our baby wouldn’t have her father. Never have I felt so… hopeless. But you know who got me through that pain? Our sons.” Bruce turns to where you’re staring and sees your boys cooing over their sister as Dick now is holding her. They all looked so happy.

You hold onto Bruce’s hand, sitting closer to him.

“Our life isn’t an easy one, we faced more strife than humanly possible. There are too many things that we’ve regretted in the past and we’re too familiar with staying in it. Our daughter is proof that we can move forward to our future, together. Isn’t that something we deserve?”

Bruce takes his hand away from yours, now placing it on your cheek.

“I don’t know what I did to deserve you, all the pain I caused to our family…” he whispers.

“You’re not the only one who messed up.” a voice calls out.

You two look up, seeing all your sons surrounding you both.

Jason puts his hands in his pocket, a mannerism you’ve noticed when he was nervous about something. “I was angry for a long time, especially with you guys. All you ever wanted was to give me a home when I didn’t have one to begin with. You guys gave me… hope, in a time I wanted vengeance.”

Damian walks forward and sits on the empty seat next to you.

“I was destined to follow the path my grandfather and mother made for me. But you and father made me create my own purpose, my duty…”

Tim comes out of his hiding as he had his head hung low.

“I thought I had all the answers. And when I couldn’t find them, I pushed too far. I had to learn discipline the hard way. I never wanted to hurt anyone, especially you mom.” He says, looking at you teary-eyed.

You immediately got up from your seat and hug your son as he hugs you tighter, still crying.

Lastly, Dick went up with Lily in his arms.

“Never in my imagination had I thought my life would turn out this way. You steered me to the right path to find justice, so you wouldn’t let me or any of us turn into you. But we’re all a part of you, Bruce. What did mom say to Tim and Damian about not having the same blood type?” Dick asks, realizing his speech was all over the place.

You snicker as you look at your eldest.

“We can’t change the blood within us.” You said.

Dick gives a small chuckle. “Yeah, that.”

You break away from Tim and go up to Bruce as he stood up.

“Like I said again, we need to stop looking back. It’s time that we look forward, for them.” You said, turning around to see your children. It felt almost a century since Bruce saw them like this: happy.

“For them…” Bruce repeated after you as he held you closer by your waist, beaming with pride.

Dick then handed his baby sister to his father as it became colder. You all headed to your respected vehicles as Alfred was about to drive you and Bruce to your final destination.

“Are you sure you don’t want us to come with you?” Jason asks.

“I think it’s best if me and your father go for now. You boys enjoy the rest of your Christmas, okay?” You said, knowing Dick was going to take his brothers to his apartment to celebrate with the rest of the Titans

Jason then goes up to you and gives you a bone crushing hug.

“Love you, Ma” he murmured.

“Love you more.” You replied back.

You both let go as he walked towards the passenger side, looking back at you, smiling.

“Love you most!”

By then, all the boys rolled down their windows saying goodbye. After waiving goodbye, you settle inside the warm car as you stare down at your daughter who was safely strapped and sleeping.

“Are you ready?” Bruce asks as he sat on the opposite side of Lily.

You nod your head as you look up to your husband.

“Yeah, let’s go.”

The drive was a bit long, and you were fiddling with your ring that rested on your finger. Bruce saw and rested his hand inside yours to distract you. You squeeze his hand as you two quietly sat through the entire ride.

Alfred parked the car and opened the door for you as you had Lily in your arms. You and Bruce walked inside of a clinic. The nurse looked up from her desk and smiled at you.

“Hello, Mrs. Wayne. He just woke up, we moved him to a comfier room so he’d feel more at ease.”

“Thank you.” you said.

Your legs felt like jelly as you walked to the new room. Finally, you arrived at the closed door. You weren’t able to even open the door yet.

“Hey, let me hold her.” Bruce said.

You turn to him as he reached out for your daughter. He gives you a comforting smile, lightly bouncing her up and down.

“We’ll be out here if you need us.” He said.

You smile back at him as you kiss him. As you pull away, you take a deep breath and walked inside the door.

You stare at the person who sat up in the hospital seat, looking at you.

“Hi.”

Harvey looks at you, almost in disbelief.

“Hey.” he says, unsure if this was a dream or if his mind was playing tricks on him.

You go up to his bed and sit on a chair beside him.

“How- how am I here? All I could remember was that you were holding my hand and then…” Harvey said, closing his eyes as his mind refused to show that his daughter was taken from him once again.

“The paramedics came just in time before you bled out. You’ve been in and out of consciousness till now.”

He takes a deep breath, lightly rubbing the side of his scarred face as he looked around his room.

“Why am I here? Shouldn’t I be in handcuffs in the Arkham medical wing?” He asks, knowing this room was too clean and radiated warmth.

“They were informed that you were taken against your will and I was held hostage. But they know you held your end of the bargain so they’ll be giving you parole. Bruce and I found this clinic outside the city for you to continue your treatments if you wished.” You said

“I- I don’t deserve this.” He said.

“Yes, you do.” Bruce’s voice spoke out.

You both turn to see your husband walking in with your daughter in his arms. You reach out for her as Bruce placed her in your arms. He stands behind your chair as he looks at your father.

“You risked so much to give your daughter a future, and you continued to fight for her protection. You saved her, Harvey.”

“Of course I did, I’m… I’m her father.” He says, choking a bit. He never said those words out loud before, and he broke into a grateful smile.

You started tearing up as you got up quickly and hugged him with your free side. Harvey was shocked at first, then hugged you tightly as well. The baby begins to tear up a bit and you both break apart, chuckling.

“Guess she wants to be introduced.” You joked.

“She?” Harvey asks.

You nod your head, bringing her to his view.

“This is Lily.” you said as you felt Bruce’s hand on your shoulder, knowing he’s smiling behind you.

Harvey looks at his granddaughter as she stirs in your arms.

“She looks just like you when you were born.” Harvey whispers.

You cry again as you wipe away your tears.

“If it’s alright with you, I’d love you to be in her life… to be in our lives.” You said.

Harvey was speechless. You came back into his life angry and lost, and now you wanted to grant him the very thing he wished for every day of his life. But, he remembers the enemies he made and that he doesn’t want you being hurt again.

Bruce can sense Harvey’s worries and spoke up.

“I understand how you’re feeling, but everything will turn out alright. You just gotta, hope… and trust in the people you surround yourself with.” Bruce then looks down at you and your daughter.

You smile at him then look at your dad with hopeful eyes.

“I- I’d love nothing more.” Harvey says as you smile estatically.

A knock is heard from the door and see the nurse popping in.

“Hello, there’s another visitor to see Mr. Dent.” she said briefly before retrieving them.

“Another visitor?” he asks, looking at you two.

“Everything was torn away from you, and you deserve to be happy. So I reached to someone you know, I hope that’s alright.”

Harvey was about to ask who until the door opened slowly and he gazes at a woman in front of him.

“Hello Harvey.” she said in a low tone, seeing the man that she fell in love with.

“Gilda…” he said in a whisper as he saw his wife that he has not seen since his accident.

She slowly makes her way to Harvey’s other side.

Harvey whips his head to you “How did you…” he tries forming a sentence but he was overcome with emotion.

“I wanted to look for her and found her shop outside of Gotham which is not far from here. I told her about me and how you’re here.” You said.

Gilda finally reached to him, thinking this was the last time she had seen her husband in a hospital bed after his first tragedy.

“Oh Harvey, if only you would have told me about everything. I could have helped you and her, we could have raised the family we always wanted.” She said, as she was diagnosed infertile early in their marriage.

“I’m so sorry Gilda… if only I was stronger man back then.” He says.

She reached out for the sides of his face. He shuddered at his gentle touch, but remained still as he looks at his wife.

“You were always strong Harvey, that’s what I loved most about you. I just wished you didn’t think that you had to carry the world on your shoulders.”

Harvey broke dwon and wrapped her in a warm embrace, as the two began to cry. You and Bruce felt a bit teary too, seeing this reunion.

Soon, you left the clinic as you planned your next visit with your dad. Alfred drove you all back home.

As Bruce was about to open your side, he could faintly hear music coming from your home. You heard it too, looking to see what was going on. Quickly, you all went inside and your breath got caught in your throat.

You see your home decorated with lights and ribbons. You even see most of the decor dedicated to your heritage. Since Lily was born, you didn’t have the time to decorate the house as you wished. As you and Bruce walked into the living room, you see all of your sons decorating the tree, oblivious that you two weren’t there.

“Jason, that’s too much tinsel.” Damian said.

“Be quiet, at least I can reach up this high.” jason remarked back.

“I think the tree needs more red.” Dick commented, hanging up more ornaments.

“Where’s the star?” Tim asked, scrimmaging through a box.

“I believe you guys broke it last year when you were playing football in the house.” Bruce said out loud.

All the sons turned around, completely scared. Until they recognized it was just you two, they straighten up in a group, smiling sheepishly.

“I thought you were at your party?” You ask, as you walked up to them with Lily in your arms.

“We were there, but we told everyone that we had to leave early.” Dick said.

“All of us wanted to decorate to show how much we appreciate you, father, and Alfred.” Damian said.

Alfred’s heart warmed up and brightens at the very moment. “Oh! I believe I know the star that Master Bruce has made when he was a child.” He said, immediately leaving making Bruce give a hearty laugh.

“We wanted to celebrate the night with you guys.” Tim added.

“Besides, how can we miss Lily’s first Christmas?” Jason said, already going up to you to pick up his little sister. Tim and Damian go up in tow as they fight over who’s going to carry her next.

Dick used this time to go up to his father.

“So, I was wondering if you got that package from Clark?” Dick asked, as he asked his father for a certain favor.

Bruce smirks and turns to one of the smaller shelves and pulls out a small box.

“Clark said it was hard to find, but he managed to find the thing you were looking for.”

“What thing?” You asked, walking to Bruce who wrapped his arm around your waist.

“Oh um, I wanted to find a special rock from the planet Tamaran for Kory’s gift.”

“Special rock? Wha- Oh! Are you?” Your eyes lit up as you anticipate Dick’s answer.

Dick smiles and nods entustiaclly.

“Yep, I’m going to propose to Kory.”

You hug your eldest son tightly.

“Oh honey, I’m so excited for you. I know she’d say yes, knowing how she looks at you when you walk into a room.” You said.

“Don’t be nervous, and say the things that you wanted to say from the first time you met her.” Bruce said, giving his eldest son advice.

“Thanks you guys.” He said, giving you two a final hug before he waited for Kory to come back from the party.

You and Bruce sat down on the couch as you snuggle closer to him.

“Were you nervous the first time you proposed to me?” you ask.

Bruce pauses for a moment, remembering.

“Yeah, I almost wanted to change the date but Alfred lectured me on how he and the boys have been growing impatient.” You laughed out loud as Bruce’s embraced you closer to him.

“Well, I’m glad you asked.” You said, looking up at him as your left hand stays on his chest.

“I’m happy that you said yes.” He replies, growing closer to your lips until you two kissed.

Afterwards, Alfred came back from the attic and found the star as promised. Few of your sons snickered at bruce’s artistic star he made when he was around Damian’s age, but you said you loved it. Bruce momentarily left his seat as he helped Damian put up the star. You turn to see Dick walk with Kory inside and you greeted them as they found their place in the loveseat. Jason and Tim were entertaining their little sister, making funny faces to see her reaction. Damian has Alfred follow him as the young Wayne replicated a cookie recipe from his paternal grandfather and wished to dish out.

Then Bruce came back to you, grabbing a throw blanket and tucked you both in it. You finally got to see your entire family united, and you can’t wait to see everyone grow into the people they wished to be.

The End.

Taglist:

@ellabxrnes @mikariell95 @edgycatx @goddess-of-congeniality @sakaki-chaaaaannn

[charliecoxbf]

I got over a high school crush last week in the most backwards way possible.

So, i had a crush on this guy back in high school.

He... treated me poorly. Or, well, like shit. He was aware of my feelings and he took advantage of them. I won't go into details because it's... bad. Nothing badwrong happened (except for that one time he spit on me and called me pathetic in a mask off moment), but yeah. He's one of those toxic straight alpha guys.

Or he was, anyways. I don't know him now. Maybe he grew. He has a wife and a kid and a successful career and I kinda hate him for it because I'm single and unemployed and living in a shithole of an apartment, but that's neither here nor there.

My crush on him sort of... persisted through the years. I've wasted a lot of time daydreaming about him, fantasizing about running into him, and having a meetcute, and falling in love, and him finally loving me back.

(I have a thing with trying to earn the love and respect of emotionally unavailable men who treat me like shit, I got it from my dad. And I'm aware of it which means I don't have to do any work on it. Don't tell my therapist or she'll get on my ass about it).

Sometimes these fantasies were romantic (him leaving his wife for me), sometimes they were sordid (him keeping me as a dirty little secret), sometimes they were violent (me beating an apology out of him). Sometimes they were... self destructive.

I have this thing I do where, when things get hard, when I'm having a hard time, I imagine myself on the wrong end if situations.

In middle school I was having a hard time being bullied, and not having any friends, so I spent the bigger part of the year imagining myself in Logan Marshall Green's shoes on that one scene from The OC where he gets shot. (You know, the notorious hmm watcha say scene).

In high school, I was struggling with the rapidly developing symptoms of my schizophrenia, my un-reciprocrated (is that a word?) love for a toxic straight boy, family drama, and so much more - and as a result I spent a long time fantasizing about meeting my demise like Robert Downey Jr. in Less Than Zero. (A movie about drugs to which I was introduced by my then best friend, and isn't it interesting that around the time I was falling into alcoholism I was fantasizing about a drug-related death?)

Now I'm having having a hard time. I can't seem to find a job, money is unbearably tight, I'm stuck in a dead end town with no way out, I see no hope for a future. So you can guess what my coping mechanism is.

The piece of media I've latched on now is a gifset by tumblr user captain-hen (linking, not tagging, because they don't need to see my self destructive toxic emotional mess) of Eddie being shot by a sniper in front of Buck (and the aftermath).

The moment I saw the gifset (and the video) my brain filled the blanks with "damn, wish that were me". This is not healthy at all, but as they say, it do be like that sometimes.

So I've been playing with the fantasy of getting shot in the shoulder and losing a lot of blood. I also recently fell back into my high school crush. But it felt different this time.

Then yesterday I was fantasizing about us in Eddie and Buck's shoes, thinking "hell yeah, if i got shot in front of him that would be hella traumatic and he would have to apologize to me and love me back", when something clicked.

My brain just went "wait a second. He treated you like shit. He doesn't deserve to have your blood splatter his face. You deserve to get shot in front of someone better."

Which. What the fuck is up with that. But also, I'm glad I'm over this crush, even if it came in the form of "you deserve to get shot in front of someone better".

Baby steps, as my therapist would say.

[goldentalent]

The Ethereal Ball is done, but as you're leaving, you see flocks of people making for a barely-trodden little footpath leading partway down the mountain. Should you follow it, the sound of music and hollering would begin to swell, until you are greeted with a barebones but extremely lively party with a large bonfire and no shortage of entertainment. Dancing, singing -- both far more boisterous and free than anything the Ball offered -- is plentiful, and it only seems to be getting started. There’s even a fun axe-throwing game set up between the trees. Better take advantage of the party now - those clouds overhead look ready to snow. [Grants Axe +1]

It was a terrible shame she'd missed the ball but it would be a true tragedy if she missed the afterparty too. What a pitiful party it would be without Goldmary's effervescent, shining presence? She sticks close to Lapis, not for her own sake but for the younger woman's. The pair of them are irresistably charming, herself more so of course but she would never deny her friend's brilliance. With a touch more confidence, Lapis could be downright dangerous to the hearts of everyone at Garreg Mach.

So it really is no surprise that, despite being positioned at the edge of the dancefloor, they attract no end of attention. It's flattering, really, although Goldmary does spare a fleeting thought for the other students being outshined. It must be simply terrible.

"Chin up, Lapis. They can't take their eyes off you," Goldmary encourages her rose-haired friend as she accepts another glass of lightly sparkling orange juice. Naturally she stuck to healthy drinks, juices to leave her skin glowing and hydrated, lest her shine be dulled. The attention was mostly welcome, a reminder that her beauty would never falter. "Not that I can blame them. One lovely lady is a gift but two? Why, I'm sure they must be thanking their goddess!"

The only problem with attending an elite, foreign academy is the entitled attitude of some of the nobility. Their crass attempts to seduce her only earned a roll of her beautiful, glittering gold eyes. Why on earth would she waste her time with someone who only cared to hear himself speak? Who coveted her beauty yet put no effort in complimenting her perfection?

"Come on baby, watch me throw these axes. Show you what the arms you'll be in tonight can really do." The boy - truly he must be a child to think such a line would work, who has been buzzing around her all evening croons in a tone that makes her physically recoil. His friend titters in amusement before placing a hand upon Lapis' arm. In an instant, Goldmary snaps, taking Lapis by the hand and pulling it away from the sleazeball. "If I wanted to see someone show of their strength, I'd simply watch myself in the mirror. As if you could impress someone of my skill and talent!"

Goldmary strides over to the axe throwing game with a swing of her hips, taking the heftiest one she can get her hands on. Perhaps it's a little too weighty for her to throw comfortably but there's no way she'll admit to that. Praying she won't sweat too much as that would obviously break the hearts of so many here, Goldmary lifts the axe above her head, swinging as she spins and let's it fly through the air. It lands on the ground, almost half way across the alley that had been roped off for the game.

Goldmary's throw: Roll d20 = 8! Annoying NPC 1's throw: Roll d20 = 3!

"I'm just warming up, of course. Don't get cocky, it simply takes effort to be this strong and elegant." Goldmary complains with a hefty sigh. She deserved much better of course, surely the wind must have been blowing against her or the axe weighted unevenly! Immediately a man in the crowd scurries away, returning swiftly with a glass of water and a lovestruck smile. How sweet. Her eyes are sharp and narrowed as she watches her would be suitor rise to her challenge. Or fall for it, really. Her own throw had not been her best, sadly, but his is pathetic. Goldmary finds herself gleeful as he embarrasses himself not only in front of her but the rest of the partygoers. "Lapis, darling! Come show these boys how it's really done. I almost feel sorry for them, trying to compete with my-- no, our perfection and grace."

@rockroselazuli

country girls make do

[okaybutlikeimagine]

so i wanna write more headcanons on here but to do that i feel like i need to actually explain my main headcanon about Stranger Things/Billy in general??? and i’m trying to write a fic (and i S W E A R i’m gonna finish it at some point/better finish it this summer or it’s never getting done i just am a Mess TM so bear with me here bc i have 3 WIPs right now) but I’m gonna give a run down of the main points bc otherwise I end up just saying “Billy got adopted by Hop” and I feel like that’s a major step so maybe I need to explain my thought process there. so my fic plan is gonna be going through Stranger Things S2 focusing on Billy (I know, how Original, right?? I’m rolling my eyes at myself but I’m excited to think about the thought process of our Crazy boy) but i’ll just go through the major stuff (mainly with him and Hopper)

((this is so damn long good god i’m so sorry))

so Billy is the local Menace and Hopper briefly hears about him from Officer Callahan, knows a new family just moved in from Cali, but the first time he sees him is when he pulls the boy over (with a bit of difficulty because how the hell is this boy going so fast??) and he’s pissed. Bc kids still run around this town like it’s nothing and how is he ever going to be comfortable letting El run around this town with this maniac here? so he intimidates the boy and enjoys it until he sees a bruise on his cheekbone and legitimate fear in his eyes and it gives him pause. bc Billy just got back from a beyond rough night with Neil who showed even less mercy than normal and told him to find another place to sleep tonight.

Hop catches on that something’s wrong. he doesn’t feel good about kicking a boy this broken into the drunk tank (even though the only reason Billy stopped for Hop was bc he felt sitting in the drunk tank might be better than sitting in his car through the cold night). Hop sees a bit of himself in the boy, back when he was young and stupid and fighting back an angry, drunken father. So he asks Billy who he can call to get him home safely, bc no fucking way is he letting him drive his car anywhere when he’s drunk. and when Billy comes up short, Hop curses and makes a split decision to bring him home. bc it’s way too late and the boy has school tomorrow and he sees Billy in obvious pain. and it’s not like Hopper is totally unaware. word gets around fast in a small town filled with gossipy elders. he already knows enough about Neil to know that he has some anger issues and he knows exactly what anger issues mean for a kid like this. so he thinks he’s going to regret it, but he convinces Billy to come over and crash on their couch. (and you best he’s immediately thinking of getting a CT scan tomorrow bc how many kids is he planning on adopting?? this man favors solitude over just about anything and now he’s bringing ANOTHER abused child into his home?? and he’s thinking about how hard he’ll have to threaten Billy to not say anything about El)

Billy puts up a fight, but gives in bc fuck it’s been a long night and he thinks being under a drafty cabin roof might be better than sleeping in his car, maybe. he meets El, who’s super strange (and billy isn’t well versed in the actions of 13 yr old girls but El doesn’t seem super normal to him). Hopper tries to keep their interactions as short as possible. and in the morning, when Hopper drives Billy to his house, he refuses to let the boy go in there alone. He walks Billy up to the door, explains away Billy’s absence, and sizes Neil up in his own living room as Billy gets ready for school so Hop can drop him off. Billy finds the care stifling and alien and so unnecessary, but something about Neil shaking in his shoes makes Billy cackle inside.

and back in Cali, Billy used to avoid cops like the plague, but now in Hawkins he goes speeding through the streets on nights that Neil tells him to leave just so he can get picked up and taken to Hopper’s cabin. sometimes on nights where Neil doesn’t, and he feels psychotic doing it. Billy gets to know El a lot better, and he wonders why Hopper had to threaten him so aggressively about not telling a single soul about this girl that he claims to be his daughter. She’s caring to Billy in a really weird way, giving him glasses of water and extra blankets after Hopper has gone to bed and Billy is cowering on the couch trying to go to sleep. One night Billy wakes to her screaming and crying and sees Hopper rush into her room and hears him lull her back to sleep. He asks her about it in the morning while Hop is showering and she mumbles something into her Eggos about Papa and pain and bad men. he asks her to speak up a bit, trying not to take his growing anger out on her, and she explains that Papa is a bad man who hurt her too much. Billy thinks he understands. He definitely doesn’t.

So he follows Hopper outside as they head out and swings at him. immediately swings at him bc all he can see is red bc here he thought a grown man could be something other than an absolute trash bag but here’s this man proving Billy a fool bc he hurts that poor sweet girl. he misses, and Hopper gets furious, immediately yelling, asking the boy what he’s doing. the two argue loudly, and Hopper tells Billy that he put them all in danger just for bringing him here, so Billy gets pissed as fuck and doesn’t come back.

and this entire time Billy’s trying to lay low at school about being gay. it’s nowhere near as lenient as Cali was and he can’t exactly show off his boner for Steve “the King” Harrington. so when Billy gets forced on an expedition to find his precious step-sister, he figures following a crazy as fuck noise seems like the best idea, esp after being told to go to the house of basically every child in Hawkins. hey, if he’s lucky, maybe it’ll be a hungry bear or something. but instead he finds a gross junkyard and what looks like his kid sister on top of a bus with that Sinclair kid, so he drives up fast, seeing red. it’s not until he’s out of the car that he sees King Steve himself barrelling towards Billy and dragging him behind the bus and handing him a piece of sheet metal and telling him to make do.

naturally Billy flips his shit, confused as hell and asking what that loud noise is, but Steve prompts him, telling him he knows he has something to be mad about bc he’s not exactly meditating on the basketball court so maybe he can channel the source of that anger to “maybe, I dunno, help us?” 

So they fight. and when the demodogs get called off, Billy demands a fucking explanation, getting pissed as all hell at Steve for letting his sister and her punk friends be here when it’s obviously infected with some crazy as fuck monsters?? “and what the shit is a demodog??” but they force a dazed Billy into the car and ask him to drive them in the direction of the noise, to which Billy says they’re nuts but it’s 4 against 1 and his mind is racing and he’s just angrily compliant at this point, speeding towards the sounds that they try to hear through the open windows. so billy gets dragged through it all, and learns about it all, and when they get to Will’s house he thinks he’s going to be sick and it’s Steve who helps him through it, awkwardly rubbing his back as he dry heaves in the bathroom bc “fuck this, seriously fuck this, you’re all nuts!”

Hopper briefly asks if he’s all right when Billy goes back into the living room obviously shaken. He accepts El’s hug when she comes in dressed up like a crazy punk and everyone is confused as hell as to how they know each other, esp Steve, who has never seen this girl in his life. Billy compliments her look, tells her she’s “looking rad”.

“Bitchin’.”

“Oh, excuse me. Bitchin’.”

He tells Hop and El to be safe, and he feels stupid about it but it earns him another hug from El and a nod and a small smile from Hop and he doesn’t like that it makes him feel so warm.

he tags along with Steve when they go into the upside down, making sure the kids are safe and bringing up the rear as Steve trudges ahead of them. He’s confused as fuck when Dustin talks to one of those things like it has a fucking heart. thinks maybe he can consider it some kind of metaphor of how even monsters can be friends sometimes.

when it’s all over, he’s damn glad and damn happy and feels damn lucky to be alive. he feels a weird gratefulness at having his sister alive and starts thinking of her as his sister. he hugs her and smacks her shoulder lightly and tells her to never go running off to fight monsters again if she knows what’s good for her, “especially not with prissy little Princess Harrington”. She just gives him an exasperated laugh and a roll of her eyes and he winks at a blushing and pouting Steve.

the abuse doesn’t stop. he’s out driving drunkenly again when Hop pulls him over. Hopper talks to him, explains himself a bit, with light irritation. Billy feels indignant, says he’ll just sleep in his damn car for the night, thanks, but Hop doesn’t allow it. He asks Billy to at least come to the cabin to see El, bc she keeps asking after him and his well being. and when things get worse, and Billy hashes out his shit with Hopper pretty hot headedly, he goes over to the cabin more and more, a brief and small and very young part of his mind wondering if Hopper would lull him to sleep too when he wakes up screaming from nightmares.

He gets closer to Max now that he almost lost her. he drives her to the arcade or Lucas’ place a lot more bc he sees that Sinclair is a good (enough) kid and he kind of wants to protect the little punk from his racist asshole of a father. now that he knows the boy isn’t making her cry anymore he feels a hell of a lot better about it. but his relationship with Neil is only getting worse and he doesn’t know it but when the Snow Ball comes around and he sees Max getting fawned over by her mother and he thinks about his own mother (bc tell me that boy’s expression isn’t sad when he sees her in that scene) it’s the last time he sees Max in a home that they share. That night Neil drunkenly shouts homophobic slurs at him and Billy’s done with it He can’t take it. Hopper has been telling him for a month now to just file a report, he’s sure he has enough evidence to catch Neil on an abuse charge, and so he finally does.

Hopper promises to fight for his custody, so that he has a safe roof to live under at least until he turns 18. Hopper cashes in on a favor with the judge bc somehow and for some fucking reason he says there isn’t enough substantial evidence to say anything + people are confused as to why it’s Hopper asking for custody of Billy. So Neil stays living with his wife and Max and gives away custody of Billy pretty angrily but not out of any love of him. (and is it realistic for this to happen?? i’m not sure about it but either way, i melt over Hopper adopting Billy and being brought into a family with Hop and El and Joyce and Jonathan and Will. and no matter what happens with Neil, i just can’t see Max leaving her mom. i think she would cling to any blood relation she has bc yeah, she has friends now, but her mother is her mother) Billy still drives Max to school every day and he makes her promise him she’ll tell him if anything bad ever happens bc “Hey, I have a pretty decent in with the Chief of Police now, alright shithead? You need anything done, I’ve got you.”

so now think of the POSSIBILITIES!! Billy and El as brother and sister, bickering and messing around with each other and Billy showing her new music much to Hop’s dismay but he likes that El has company! Joyce and Hop getting together and Joyce becoming a good mother to him bc lets face it, Joyce would mother the world if she could!! Him finally getting to be with Steve and not being called homophobic slurs and getting closer and closer to Steve as they become boyfriends and dads to the children!!!! the possibilities are endless for Billy Hargrove/Hopper!!!!!!!

(jury’s still out on how to fit S3 in here and how much of canon i want to put into this headcanon but imagine Billy having people in his corner after he’s been possessed and they notice a lot quicker when he gets possessed so they help him faster!!)(or he can just be at home playing board games with El on the night that he was supposed to get possessed and he’s able to be a supportive and sassy figure for El and the kids bc babysitter Steve was off trying to fight russians.)(!!! imagine concerned Billy wondering where the fuck Steve is and getting jealous that he’s out with a girl and Steve is like: “I was literally inches away from death and you’re STILL being a jealous bitch, are you serious????”)

ANYWAY this was so long and a bit unnecessary but this is the gist of what I think and when I write headcanons I’m talking about a universe where all of this took place (unless otherwise specified). Sorry for this mess, but it was good for me to write this out and if anyone is interested in my dumb ideas of how Billy’s story could have gone differently, here’s a preview of whatever dumpster fire of a fic i put out eventually. + you can always talk to me here, i’m open to excitedly yell with you ♥

[summercreolefanfictioner]

the Sakamaki brothers as break-up or unrequited love songs (plus scenarios / headcanons)

A/N: Before I dove into the world of Dialovers, I actually wrote smut angst fics and I usually listen to sad songs (no, I am not brokenhearted and my love life is doing well). This made me picture scenarios that would fit these bastards (cause as always Yui deserve better)

WARNING: Contains violence and a bit of smut (NSFW in short)

SHUU SAKAMAKI

"So sad, so sad, I could never make you stay

Too bad, too bad, I could never walk away"

Hmm a brokenhearted Shuu is like a blank canvas whatever

He basically doesn't want to do anything with his broken heart

I picture him falling in love with a mortal so deep but at the same time he didn't want to indulge in those feelings

Cause the last time he got attached with a mortal, they died (Yuma is still alive but still)

So yeah he be just listening to some sad songs all week

"And now I know I will regret it,

I'd rather keep it all inside"

But in case he decides to pursue this mortal, I think she would be at arm's length

Like he wouldn't indulge deeper than what they have cause someday she will die and boy he has attachment issues

Hence the second song

REIJI SAKAMAKI

"I know I'm just a fool who's willing

To sit around and wait for you

But baby, can't you see there's nothing else for me to do?"

Hmm honestly Reiji was the hardest

And yes, I had @yourlocaltea to help me on this one

Because I can't see Reiji crying over someone tbh

I picture girls crying over him and this famous Olivia Newton-John song would really work

Cause we all know that Reiji has dated girls for the sake of image so maybe one of them really fell in love w/ him

Too bad, he only sees them for his family image

But if he does fall for them, the second song will fit

"I’m no longer alone when I’m by myself

I can feel you even when you’re not here"

If you have watched the ending of this Kdrama aka What Happened in Bali, you prob know what I mean

Let's say the girl left him and found another man

You might think Reiji is being Kanato here but this man won't let you betray him after all he did

He prob gonna murder you in his own Reiji way 💀💀💀

But if he doesn't go the yandere route, he just gonna give you up... hmm... hopefully

AYATO SAKAMAKI

"First you say you won't then you say you will

You keep me hangin' on and we're not movin' on"

I am excited for this one cause as you all know Ayato is my first main diaboy (even before my Kanato simping arc)

I have actually told this to @moonderly and @samsvenn about the possibility of Ayato having an ex who has the fickle heart of Jenny (as mentioned from the same song)

Like at first they're okay, then afterwards they fight over nothing

I even think she's gonna cheat on him w/o him knowing

Or perhaps he knows but decides to think like "oh you want to play then fine I'll play your game and win"

But he is a sore loser

Ayato would prob be the one doing the begging (w/c is unlikely him) and it's all bcos he believes the girl will call him Oresama afterwards

Too bad she doesn't

"Last year's wishes are this year's apologies every last time I come home

I take my last chance to burn a bridge or two

I only keep myself this sick in the head 'cause I know how the words get you off"

Another song that would fit him would be this one

Cause I swear Ayato can be a target of those girls who just like to have fun and dump boys

Ayato be spouting he's an Oresama but these girls would give no sht abt it

If Ayato decides to get a bit serious, it would also be the time they dump him

This fuckboy is a loser in a friends with benefits situation

KANATO SAKAMAKI

"Good for you, you're doing great out there without me, baby

God, I wish that I could do that

I've lost my mind, I've spent the night crying on the floor of my bathroom

But you're so unaffected, I really don't get it"

This one is also hard

Because I have so many scenarios for Kanato

But breakups and unrequited love don't end well for Kanato so he prob would add this poor being to his doll collection

He's actually sarcastic abt it... at first

"Wow, you're smiling now. How shameless of you."

And afterward, he says, "How dare you do that to me? It's unfair, you know? Why isn't it me? Why him?"

Or "I gave you everything you want and now this is how you repay me?!"

"I won't let you betray me, NEVER AGAIN"

"And if you have to leave

I wish that you would just leave

'Cause your presence still lingers here

And it won't leave me alone"

But once he comes down from his rage and intense emotions, that's when he really starts to cry and mourn

Kanato actually has nightmares of this person staying for a while, only to leave him crying

Like he would have an internal conflict where he wants you to go leave him, but he doesn't want you to belong to someone else

TANTRUMS GALORE

"This is all your fault! I'm suffering bcos you left me! (uhhh... you killed her???) 🤡🤡🤡

"You should've just dropped dead even before I loved you."

Anyway, she's a part of his doll collection now so she won't be going away anytime soon

LAITO SAKAMAKI

"The other woman will never have his love to keep

And as the years go by, the other woman

Will spend her life alone"

This song would actually be more about the girls he be toying with

Cause honestly loving Laito is like agreeing to be his plaything and there are many of you out there

In short, every single one of you is the other woman

Fvcking perv

Ofc what do you expect

This guy will never be serious and he would prob mess with your mind and heart until he throws you away

But if you manage to crawl deep in his heart and leave it wounded, then...

"You were the mermaid for me

Till one day, you found your feet

Leaving me in the God-awful bottle,

a model of heartache and grief"

I picture Laito drinking somewhere, prob a nearby pub or by himself at the manor

Like he would waste the night away because of a woman he can't mess with

For some reason, this reminds me a tiny bit of Helen and Laito's relationship (shoutout to @nutaella-kookie)

Like what if Helen broke up with Laito and she's like no turning back 💀💀💀

But what do you expect? Laito never believes in love anyway

SUBARU SAKAMAKI

"I should actually hate you

The more I embrace you, it hurts

Although when morning comes,

I will look for you again"

In relation to my headcanon abt Subaru falling in love w/ his teacher, this is actually a song that identifies his moving on stage

Like he probs like to tell this little lie that he'll move on but he actually doesn't

The type to do anything for a girl to stay even tho she can't give up her humanity for him

This guy gets waaaaaay attached emotionally

But unlike Kanato, he accepts his fate and takes all the blame

He's also actually like Shuu and would prob play sad songs on repeat

Most of them will be really sad, like how Scarlet Heart Ryeo made me cry

But in case he wants to switch things up, he'll prob play this one

"So what if I can't forget you?

I'll burn your name into my throat

I'll be the fire that'll catch you

And what's so good about picking up the pieces?

What if I don't even want to?"

Like ya know emo hardcore heartbreak ya know???

Actually, in my headcanon, Kanato sang Scarborough Fair to him and he cried at the lines "Remember me to the one who lives there. She once was a true love of mine."

YES SUBARU CRYING DUE TO HEARTBREAK LIVES RENT-FREE IN MY HEAD

[adoringhaikyuu]

Hey, can you maybe do how hq boys (Iwa, Suna and the rest is your decision) would react when they want to do have sex (first time for the reader)and react when their s/o is insecure about their appearance and compares them with their ex ? So they are scared if they want their ex back and gets super anxious

Yeah, I feel insecure today and I'm scared that somebody would compare me with their ex (body etc)

YOU GET INSECURE BEFORE YOUR FIRST TIME

CHARACTERS: iwaizumi + suna + (gn!reader)

WARNINGS: mentions of smut but it's not too much

NOTES: i feel like this is the first full length hc i've written in a while i feel rusty skjdfhg + some small things are similar in both i'm sorry lol

iwaizumi:

would not let the insecurities live on for much longer tbh

it hurts him that you see yourself this way

and he's kinda upset with himself that you believed he would be comparing you to his ex

or even thinking about them at all while he's with you

iwaizumi could see that something was wrong before you even planned on speaking up. as soon as he reached for your shirt, his already off, you tensed up and his eyes shot up to your face, his hands retracting slowly. "what's wrong, doll? we don't have to do this if you don't want to, you know that, right?"

you swallowed roughly, feeling the heat rush to your face in embarrassment. "i––i'm sorry i just..."

you looked down but he placed a hand under your chin and tilted your head up to look into your eyes. "hey, you can tell me anything. i'm right here."

you bit your lip and forced yourself to keep looking at him, letting your eyes wander over his face instead of looking into his suddenly intimidating stare, but that didn't seem to help either. as you really looked at him closely, you found yourself wondering how and why someone like him would want to be with someone who looked like you––especially when his ex was just...so much better, in your opinion.

your voice was small when you spoke up. "are you sure you want to be with me?"

he blinked, brows furrowing immediately. "what?"

you looked down again. "when i look in the mirror..." you willed yourself to keep the tears from forming. "i don't see myself as someone who should be with you––appearance-wise, along with other things...what if you don't like what you see under my clothes? and i mean compared to your ex i––"

"stop." his voice was sharp as he interrupted you and you looked up, shocked to see a fierce, determined and almost angry look in his eyes.

"w–what?"

he clenched his jaw, but his touch was soft as he held your cheeks in both his hands. "you are the most beautiful person i've ever laid my eyes on. when i'm with you i rarely think about anyone else, let alone my ex––because you take up all the space in my mind." he looked at you earnestly, "baby i'm obsessed with you, i'm more in love with you than i've ever been with anyone else, no one even comes close to you." he took a deep breath, really wanting to make sure he got through to you.

you placed your hands over his and smiled up at him, your eyes a little glassy. "thank you––for that. i really don't deserve you."

he nudged your chin with one hand playfully, "bullshit." he whispered. "you deserve everything and more." he pulled you in for a sweet kiss and it quickly escalated, your hands coming up to pull his hair, making him groan against your lips.

you brought one of his hands under your shirt and pulled it up slightly and he leaned back to look at you. "are you sure?"

you nodded. "absolutely."

he smiled and let his fingers trace along your skin. "i will do everything in my power to show you how amazing you are, inside and out." he kissed your forehead gently, "i promise."

suna:

suna would dismiss these thoughts immediately

not because he wants to belittle or invalidate your feelings

but because he doesn't think you need to be worrying about these things

he's 100% yours and he's not going anywhere

suna was hovering over you, breathing heavily as he pressed his lips against yours and ground his hips into you. "fuck––" he kissed you a few more times and bit your bottom lip teasingly slow before pulling away and sliding down between your legs.

he looked into your eyes as his hands reached for your underwear, silently asking if you wanted to go further, but when you looked away nervously and visibly clamped up, he frowned. "what's wrong?" when you didn't respond, he sat up and sighed, squeezing your thigh playfully. "come on bub, talk to me."

you clasped your hands together and started playing with your thumbs idly. "um...i just––" he brought a hand under your chin to tilt your head up and once you looked in his eyes, you felt a strong urge to cry. you bit your lip and took a shaky breath. "i just don't feel...right for you?" his gaze hardened the slightest bit. "when i look at myself, i can't help but see all the things that are wrong and compared to your ex––"

"y/n."

you paused at the interruption, secretly grateful, knowing that if you went on, the tears would fall.

he placed a hand on your cheek and looked at you, his usual bored stare now more intense. "trust me when i say you have nothing to worry about. i know you can't solve your insecurities in a day, but please know that that pretty little head of yours is telling you nothing but nonsense. when i look at you i see none of that stuff, i just see how beautiful you are, and i think about how happy i am that i'm yours and that you're mine." he paused and a look of annoyance flashed in his eyes. "and don't even bring up my ex, they should never be on your mind, because they're never on mine either."

he pulled you in for a kiss and you smiled, your voice small as you looked into his eyes. "i love you."

his lips curved into a small smirk. "i know." he pecked your lips again. "now if you're still up for it, i'd really like to show you how much i love you" he leaned in closer to whisper in your ear, "and how perfect you are for me." his hands slid up your thighs but stayed in a respectable place, ready to do whatever you asked.

now how could you let your insecurities take over when you had such an amazing guy right in front of you––

[itcanbegoodagain]

What I would want Peeta to say and do to me if I was Katniss, is how I think this deserves to be summed up.

Word Count: 1971

Rating: 18+. Mature, but not explicit. Sexytimes after the break.

Sliding down into the tub, I allow the sweet smell of the soap to engulf me, my eyes falling shut as the warm water creeps up my skin. My aching muscles relax, the tension seeping out of them as quickly as it appeared. The first week or two of hunting in the snow is always harder than I’m anticipating it to be. But I’ll be just fine.

I know Peeta’s home when I hear his gait on the creaking, wooden stairs. Deciding to stay put, I wait for him to find me in the bathroom. He’s home a little early today. Oh, lucky wife am I.

And, truly, I am. There is no better man out there than Peeta. So when he gently knocks on the door, I smile to myself. “You can come in.” My head falls back to rest on the lip of the tub, providing me with a better vantage point to see him.

The door pushes open slowly, and Peeta steps through, shutting the door behind him. Not necessary, since we’re the only ones that live in this house. But no complaints here. Just observations.

“Hi baby,” he says, leaning back against the counter and folding his arms across his chest. There is a slight uptilt to his lips, one that usually indicates a particular line of thinking. I wonder what I’m in for.

I take this chance to stare at him, lazily moving my gaze head to toe, as I know he is sizing me up, too. I avoid the urge to shift my legs together too soon, anticipating the exquisite touch of his hands that’s sure to come.

He’s wearing his normal dark-wash trousers, a long-sleeved shirt in lieu of his usual attire. The tip of his nose is just the littlest bit red. The snow gets to bakers, too, then. Briefly, I wonder what the cold of his nose would feel like while his lips make their way up my thighs. I do know how his body feels, though, as I take in the way his shirt hugs in all the perfect places.

“Hi baby,” I repeat back softly, not wanting to raise my voice too much for fear of bursting this liminal moment we’ve created. It could go very different ways. I know which way I want it to go, and if I know anything about him, I know what he wants, too.

Neither of us moves to break eye contact. Peeta does, however, slowly peel off the counter, walking around the end of the tub to kneel on the ground next to me. His arms rise up to rest on the edge, his fingertips barely brushing the water.

We haven’t lost eye contact this entire time, so when he licks his lips and says what he does next, I am malleable. Pliable. Putty, in his hands only.

“You look very beautiful today,” he says. Normal words, predictable words, but the way he says it - the way he looks at me as he says it - mouthwatering.

Desperation. That’s the thing in my throat that won’t let any other words get out. Desperation to touch, to be touched, which I can see reflected in Peeta’s face, the slight trembling of his fingers.

“You know, these bathrooms really are too large. Look, I take up only half the tub!” I tell him.

He grins. “I have to disagree. There’s only room for one kickass woman in the tub.”

I hum. Trail my fingers, dripping warm water, through my hair. “Too bad. That kickass woman was hoping she’d have someone come join her.”

This is what really catches him. His voice, usually honey-sweet, is strained, just enough to be noticeable. “In that case, I think I might know someone.”

I take a deep breath, surveying him for another moment. “Well, tell him to come my way.”

With that in the air, he finally, finally kisses me. Kisses me with the force of someone who’s been holding back just long enough that they’re about to splinter. His fingers, the tips wet from resting in the water, find their way into my hair, his thumb tilting my head up beneath the chin. Already, he is biting and tugging at my lip with his teeth, which is one of the things he’s best at. Or maybe I just like it.

The kiss is both quenching and provoking. Yes, I finally can taste the love and lust on his lips, but it only makes me want him more. That’s how it works with us. Has since basically day one, though I was blind to it for a while.

Peeta stops for a moment, close enough that we are still sharing the same air. “How can I help you, my dear?” he asks, voice more rattled than before, as one of his hands dips into the water. His fingers find and, gently, scratch along the sensitive skin at my knee. I shiver, despite the warm water. He grins, noticing the gooseflesh that’s appeared on my skin at his mere touch.

A sharp intake of breath fills my lungs, and it takes me a moment to answer. “First, you’re in an unfair amount of clothes.”

He nods his head, pulling his arm out of the water to grab the hem of his shirt and yank it off, the cuff damp where the water had almost reached the sleeve after he rolled it up. His trousers quickly follow, though his undershorts stay on for now. “What else?”

In response, I stand up, careful not to send water pouring over the edge. Peeta stands as well, reaching over to grab a towel and stepping closer to wrap it around me. His hands pause on my shoulders, holding the towel in place around me. He raises his eyebrows. Next?

I send him the best, most flirty smile I can muster. It's never been my strong suit. Then I remove the towel, allowing him to keep it. The moment he realizes my intentions, it’s discarded to the floor, easily and gladly forgotten. In his eyes, I can tell he wants to touch me, desperately, but I make him wait just a little longer.

He makes a sound in the back of his throat, one of such need and desire, that it sends a flash of pride through me. Turning a man on is so much more fun than I ever thought it could be. It makes you feel powerful, even if it’s just one person for one moment.

But with Peeta, there are so many moments like that. He praises, he worships me, but it’s never over the top. It is always in the actions: letting me fall asleep in his lap, leaving breakfast on the table, placing kisses along my skin after I have been well and truly tumbled. Doing as much as he can to please me. Yes, indeed. I am a lucky wife.

After I’ve planted myself on the bathroom counter, the edge lining up dangerously with the part of me that is Peeta’s next destination, he is on his knees again. He begins his ministrations slowly, each brush of his fingers or lips on my skin like an electric shock. My skin is so, so sensitive, and he is so, so gentle. There’s nothing better.

By the time he reaches my knees, he has scooted closer, his shoulderblades now between my legs to give him the proper access he requires. Each touch of his mouth to my skin makes it harder not to move, but I try my best. As he nears the top of my thighs, he takes one leg and throws it over his shoulder, carelessly, I would say, if it were anyone else.

“So,” he begins, frequently pausing to occupy his mouth in less talkative ways, “there is so much time left, so many things to do.” His tongue traces a thin line up the most sensitive part of my inner thigh. I gasp, eyes falling shut, hips beginning to squirm. One of his hands pushes back on my hipbone, his fingertips pressing into the skin just hard enough to leave marks. Marks for him to see, later. Maddening. “Where shall I begin?”

I realize, maybe two seconds too late, that he is genuinely asking. “Katniss, baby,” he continues, his rough voice sounding heavenly from between my legs. “Tell me how to help.” To emphasize his point, he flips my other leg over his shoulder, effectively trapping himself between and beneath me.

I gasp again, trying to get the words out. In a moment of clarity, I’m able to string together these words: “Kiss me.”

He hums, running his hands over my hips, back and forth. “From down here?”

Smartass. “Not on my lips,” I manage.

He grins, a fiercely boyish grin that I sometimes forget he’s capable of. “I see. Well, since you asked so nicely…”

I choke out a laugh. “Right. As if you didn’t come home with it already in mind.”

He laughs too, but doesn’t allow it to linger for long. “You got me there.” He says this one moment, and the next, his face is hidden and his mouth and tongue are doing such extraordinary things, and, god, his nose -

Well. I hit the nail on the head with that one.

My fingers curl into his hair, urging him on as I push him closer. I can feel his grin, so I give a sharp tug on the hair I have in hand as recompense. This pulls another sound out of his throat, a gasp out of his mouth. Both feel lovely, situated where he is. So I continue to pull at his hair when he needs some humbling.

It's breathless, it's wonderful, it's only the beginning. I'm trembling, grateful to be sitting, as he makes his way up my body. Lingering kisses on my hips, along my stomach, up my chest. He stays at my neck for a while, paying particular attention there, surely leaving behind bruises that can easily be covered by a turtleneck in this cool weather.

--

A good chunk of time passes before I'm able to drag his lips back to mine, feeling like I might die if I don't get to kiss him right this second. He happily obliges, as he knows that he is good with his mouth. In several different regards. But who's keeping track? Certainly, certainly not me.

My hands, itching to touch his skin, smooth down his shoulders, wrapping around his back, pulling him even closer. Now, he is standing again, my legs circling his waist. Our bodies are pressed together at their most intimate places, though his undershorts are still on. Slowly, I run one of my hands down his side, making sure to take my time, before sliding the tips of my fingers below his waistband. I don't move them, I don't try to take his boxers off, I just let them rest there. Let Peeta give me this incredulous, sex-addled smirk.

"Yes?" I ask. "Is there something wrong?"

"Oh, no, nothing like that. I'm just thinking..." he trails off for a moment, leaving me to fill in the blank. "Well, you know, it's not only the tubs that are too big for one person. The showers are, too. Haven't you noticed?"

Tapping my chin, I pretend to ponder his question. "Truly? I haven't. Do you care to show me?"

He swoops in for another kiss, this one full of teeth and lips and pressure. He steals my breath away. "Gladly," he says, grinning, hauling me off the counter.

With a quick turn of the knobs, the warm spray of water begins falling from the shower head, and, truthfully, there is no way to describe what happens next. No way to describe it other than really, really good sex.

[tommybaholland]

when they’re grumpy but their s/o wants attention [1.5k follower special]

featuring: kuroo, kenma, akaashi, nishinoya, and kageyama

thank you for sharing this fun celebration with me! can’t wait to host more :) enjoy! x 

kuroo

he’s not super temperamental but he can develop a short fuse when he’s stressed or overwhelmed 

you’ll try to get him to take a break but he gets stern really quick 

when he doesn’t give in like usual, you take defeat and leave the room

he immediately feels bad that he snapped at you 

he will hug and kiss you until you accept his ample apology 

“oh. hey, beautiful,” your boyfriend greeted after you wrapped your arms around his shoulders from behind.

“what are you doing?” you asked, leaning down to look at the screen. 

“just work again.”

“do you wanna take a break and come cuddle with me?” 

“i wish i could, babe, but i need to get this done.”

“but you’ve been working forever. please, tetsu?” you give him your best pouty, puppy dog eyes that he always falls for. 

“not right now,” he replies shortly. 

you start playing with his hair, something you know he can’t resist. 

“babe, seriously. i’ll come cuddle with you later. now, please, i need to finish this. can you just leave me alone for another half hour?”

“fine.” 

“no, baby. wait--” the door slammed behind you before he could finish his sentence. he swears under his breath, knowing that he hurt your feelings. he quickly exits his work and gets up to go find you. 

you’re sitting on the couch, looking at something on your phone. he saunters over and immediately puts his head in your lap. 

“i’m sorry, kitten. i shouldn’t have snapped at you like that. i’ve been stressed with everything lately but that’s no excuse because you don’t deserve that. i’m sorry.”

you sigh and try to get up but he stops you by wrapping his arms around your hips, pressing his face into your midsection. 

“no, baby, please don’t go. i need you and your cuddles. pleeeeaaasssseee,” he pleads, hugging you tighter. he feels your stomach vibrate against his face and he looks up to see you laughing lightly. 

“what’s so funny?” he chuckles with you. 

“nothing,” you reply, putting a hand in his hair. “you’re just so cute.”

“does this mean you forgive me?” he asks, sitting up. 

“i suppose you can be forgiven.”

“i’ll take it. now, c’mere.” he wraps his arms around you, pulling you into him to accept the many kisses he places on your cheek. 

kenma

he gets frustrated or irritated kinda easily 

mostly when he can’t complete a stage in one of his games 

he can displace his anger onto you when you want to snuggle up to him 

he doesn’t realize what he did until later when he finds you sitting by yourself

he has a simple apology but he makes up for the lack of attention he’s given you 

you always knew where to find kenma. in his room, playing a game. if it’s new, you probably won’t see him for a while as he tries to spend all his free time trying to complete it so visits to his house were frequent. 

even if you had an outing planned, he would try to get in some gameplay beforehand. 

“hey, ken,” you greeted as you entered his room.

he doesn’t respond for a few seconds as he vigorously mashes buttons to defeat the battle he was on. he lets out a frustrated grunt as the ‘lose’ screen taunts him before turning to you. 

“oh, hey.” 

“are you ready to go?” 

“yeah. um, let me just try one more time to beat this,” he negotiates. 

“okay,” you reply as you sit close next to him. he restarts the stage and you watch him play until you yawn and start to lean your head on his shoulder. 

“y/n, i can’t do this while you’re-- oh, god. no!” 

he loses again, causing him to harshly nudge you off his shoulder. 

“ugh, i was so close just then. why do you have to lean on me like that?”

“i’m sorry. i was just kinda tired.”

“well, maybe you should get more sleep so you don’t make me lose again,” he snaps. he mutters under his breath before picking the controller back up and starting again. 

he barely even notices you’re gone until he completes the stage on the next round. he gets up and goes to look for you. he finds you sitting outside his house, presumably waiting for him. he frowns, feeling guilty about what he said to you and continued playing instead of apologizing to you. you could’ve been sitting out here forever. 

“y/n?” he says softly, getting your attention. “i’m sorry. i was mad at the game, not you. i didn’t mean it like that. i’m ready to go now if you want.” 

you’re not totally convinced which prompts him to sit down next to you. he leans his head on your shoulder just like you had to him earlier. he slowly reaches his hand over to yours, interlocking your fingers. 

“i really like when you lean on me. please don’t listen to anything i say when i’m playing games.”

you sigh. “it’s okay. i forgive you. let’s go.” 

he nods, standing up with his hand still in yours. 

“can i have a hug?” he asks cutely, his other hand reaching for your elbow. 

you grin and nod, letting him pull you into him. he hugs you tightly, his fingers tickling your back as they brush across. he pulls away, his hands moving to hold either side of your head to kiss the tip of your nose. 

“okay, let’s go.” 

he holds your hand the whole way there. 

akaashi

he’s pretty calm and not quick to yell like kuroo but he can let stress take over easily

he’ll try to take a nap to relieve it but you come over as a surprise 

he doesn’t take it too well and ‘snaps’ at you 

you end up leaving his house completely and now he feels like he can’t just nap this one away

hugs and cuddles you as he apologizes 

he had finally felt the sweet embrace of his bed after the longest day ever. he just wanted to sleep it all away, easing his aching muscles. what felt like seconds later, he heard your voice. 

“keiji,” you roused, rubbing a hand over his back. “are you sleepy, babe?”

he groaned, shifting over to face away from you. 

“i’m trying to nap, baby. what are you doing here?”

“i just wanted to surprise you. you seemed like you were having a bad day,” you explained.

“yeah. i was. and you just woke me up.”

“oh, i’m sorry. i can rub your back if you want.”

“i want to take a nap. alone.”

“oh. i, um-- okay,” you stuttered, getting up quickly and leaving the room without another word. 

he couldn’t go back to sleep after that. you wanted to make him feel better and he only pushed you away. he quickly got out of bed, hoping he could catch up with you. you weren’t very far from his house as he rushed down the street. 

“y/n? please, wait!” 

you stop in your tracks but don’t turn around. his heart is hammering against his chest as he stops behind you, trying to catch his breath.

“i’m...sorry.”

“why are you apologizing? i’m the one who ruined your nap,” you reminded him. 

he walks around to stand in front of you, pretty eyes looking down at your wilted figure.

“no, you didn’t, baby. you didn’t do anything wrong. i was being a jerk and didn’t need to say that to you. i think i need you more than i need a nap. although, you and a nap would be nice, too.” 

your lips perked up slightly in a smile, making him lean down to get a better look at your face.

“is that a smile i see? no, don’t hide it. c’mere, beautiful.”

he takes you in his arms, hugging you tightly. he rocks you from side to side as he leans his head on top of yours. 

“i would love for you to join me for some cuddles. but i’ll probably fall asleep.”

you agree, smiling at him before he gives you a sweet kiss. he leads you back to his house where you go back into his room. you get all comfy under the covers with him lying on top of you, his head on your chest. 

he kisses your cheek a few times before laying down. “thank you, baby.” 

nishinoya 

he’s usually a very bright and happy-go-lucky boy but he can get irritated 

he’ll get way too amped up about something and then get frustrated when it doesn’t play out how he thinks 

he does get loud when he lets it all out on you as you’re trying to comfort him 

you try to hide your tears and leave him alone but he cannot believe he just yelled at you 

he will literally get on his hands and knees as he apologizes 

you liked to meet up with him after his practice so that you could walk home together. seeing him in the gym, you decided to surprise him by placing your hands on his shoulder and using him to brace yourself as you jumped into the air, which is something he would often do to you and his teammates. 

“hey, sweetie,” he greeted after turning around, looking kinda solemn.

“you ready to go?”

“yeah. let’s go.”

you followed him out but he didn’t take your hand like he would whenever you walked home. he could never hide his feelings though.

“ugh, i missed almost every dig today. every one! i’m so pissed, i’m going to do so many push-ups-- what are you doing!?”

he snatched his hand away from you when you tried to hold it. you winced at his sudden outburst. 

“um, i just wanted to hold your hand.”

“are you even listening to me? i’m really pissed off right now, babe.”

“i- i’m sorry,” you apologized. his heart broke when he heard the break in your voice and seeing your eyes become glossy. what was worse, he was the cause of it. 

you tried to push the tears back into your eyes. “i’ll walk by myself.” 

he grabbed your wrist quickly to stop you. “no, wait.”

you couldn’t hold it in and started sobbing. your hands coming up to cover your face. 

“don’t cry, beautiful,” he consoled, wrapping his arms around you. “that was stupid of me to yell at you. i love when you want to hold my hand. my emotions just got the best of me.”

“it’s, it’s okay,” you sobbed, wiping your eyes. 

“no, it’s not!” he declares. “what do i have to do to make it okay? please tell me, sweetheart.”

“oh, i know--”

“that’s okay, noya. you don’t have to--”

he was literally on his hands and knees in the middle of the road asking for your forgiveness. 

“oh, my sweet, beautiful, gorgeous, smart, strong s/o! will you please forgive me and my idiot self for being a bad boyfriend?”

“noya, you’re not a bad boyfriend. please get off the ground.”

“not until you forgive me!” he wraps his arms around your middle, pressing his face into your tummy. 

“okay, okay. i forgive you,” you laughed. 

“yay!” he jumps up and into your arms, kissing you many times on the head. “you are my favorite person and i can’t stand to see you cry.” 

“now will you hold my hand?”

“of course. can i kiss you too?” 

kageyama

he’s known to be habitually grumpy 

he enjoys your presence the most so if he starts getting short with you, you know something’s bothering him 

yells like noya but you’ve heard it before so you’re able to leave him to cool off 

he’ll eventually realize he was being dumb and didn’t need to yell at you

but he’s not the smoothest at apologizing  

kageyama did not like school. he’d rather play volleyball for the rest of his life. he was good at it, he memorized all the plays, and he could understand it. but when he actually does study and still gets a bad grade, you’ll never hear the end of it.

“ugh, this is so stupid. i thought i studied enough!” he vented as you two sat in his room together. 

“it’s alright, tobi. we’ll just try something different next time, that’s all,” you consoled, patting him on the shoulder 

“pft. easy for you to say,” he grumbled.

“excuse me?”

“you get good grades all the time without any effort. it doesn’t make sense.”

“i actually try very hard and i want to help you--”

“well, i don’t need your help!” he blurts out, shifting away from your touch.

your lips draw into a hard line “that’s fine. i just don’t want you to get discouraged about school, that’s all. you know i care about you,” you reasoned. you could tell he was already on a short fuse and were currently trying to defuse him. 

“i just think that you should--”

“look, you’re not my mom! can you just shut up about this now? i’m done talking about it.”

you nod quietly before packing up your things and leaving. it was obvious he needed some time to himself and you weren’t about to be on the receiving end of his aggressions. 

later that night, there was a knock on your door. it was none other than your grumpy boyfriend who looked rather remorseful. 

“uh, hi.”

“what’s up?”

“i, i know you probably don’t want me here right now but i just wanted to say that i’m sorry.”

you simply nodded, the silence allowing him to keep talking. 

“i was being a dumb jerk. i know you care about me and i really, really care about you. i feel like i don’t appreciate you enough for everything that you do for me.” he looks down, ashamed of how unfulfilling his love seems compared to yours. 

“that’s not true, tobi,” you negate, reaching to him. “i know you care about me. you just have a different way of showing it. like coming here late at night with a-- is that a bento box?” 

“it’s some snacks my mom helped me make. she said this is good brain food. i was hoping you could help me with some homework.  also,” he looks away from you once more.

“i can’t go to the tournament if i don’t pass japanese lit. could you please help me?”

you look him up and down for a few moments before grinning. “of course i can.”

you let him into the house. you feel a tugging on your shirt and turn around to see him standing there awkwardly. 

“yes?”

“would you-- can you hug me, please?”

you don’t respond except with a smile and simply wrap your arms around his waist. he hugs you tightly, burying his face in your neck. 

“thank you. love you so much.” 

he has lots to learn, but he’ll get there and one day, it’ll be as easy as volleyball. 

the event is over but more coming soon! send a request in the meantime..

[quindolyn]

Hiiii i heard a headcannon that james potter would love shower sex and i was wondering wether you could write something like that? No specific’s do whatever you want with it just sex in the shower ;)

 You in Here? || James Potter

Word Count: 2268

A/N: I hate this perhaps more than anything I’ve ever written but I need to write if only to remind myself that I still can because sidofhdfwqifbr. I feel like I haven’t been productive in weeks and posting is gonna hopefully help me with that. I’ve hated other things I’ve posted as well and y’all seemed to react positively to those so who the hell knows.

Warnings: Degradation, daddy kink, kinda proof read, little bit of exhibitionism 

Masterlist

“Jamie,” You called out, your voice echoing as it bounced back off the tiled walls of the Quidditch showers. 

You hadn’t been able to grab James after the Quidditch game, where he’d led him and his team to victory, before he had headed off towards the locker room, being stopped by Dobson who was subbing in as keeper for the game. The team’s usual keeper in the hospital wing with a bad case of blood poisoning he’d contracted from an unfortunate Care of Magical Creatures lesson. 

You’d never really given much thought to the boy as he was a year below you and you didn’t much run in the same circles but neither of those facts seemed to discourage him as he pulled you aside after the game.

His desperate and frankly pathetic attempts to flirt with you, the team captain’s girlfriend, had stalled you too long apparently as by the time you’d managed to break free of his bad pickup lines and clumsy winks James was nowhere in sight and Sirius had to direct you towards the showers where he’d seen him disappear into. 

And now stumbling around the locker room looking for your boyfriend you followed the sound of running water to the back corner of the showers.

“There you are,” You murmured as his dripping form came into view. Blocked by a sheet of warped glass all you could make out of his figure was the outline of his strong physique as he twisted and turned to let the water wash over his ridiculously toned body.

“James?” Your voice lilted up in a question as you wrapped your knuckles against the glass of the door.

“(Y/N/N)? What are you doing in here?” He asked, his voice rough which you assumed was from screaming over the roaring wind to communicate with his teammates. 

What you hadn’t noticed before escaping James’ subordinate was the aforementioned boy lurking a few feet away, jaw clenched, the vein in his forehead pulsing as he glared down the boy who seemed to have abandoned all of his inhibitions.

Though you had missed him, James most certainly hadn’t missed you and heading off to the showers he’d hoped that a hot shower would soothe the possessiveness bubbling up in his stomach but it had not had the desired effect. 

“Came looking for you Jamesie,” You explained, “Wanted to congratulate you,” A sly smirk tugged at the corners of your lips, painted a brilliant red as you began shedding the numerous layers of clothing you’d been bundled up in to shield yourself from the biting wind.

“Why don’t you congratulate that Dobson kid?” The edge to James’ voice was impossible to miss.

You frowned as you reached around your now nearly bare torso, having made quick work of your top layers, to unclasp your bra, shrugging it off of your shoulders to let it fall to the ground. Left in only your panties you spared a glance over your shoulder before abandoning those as well and opening the door to the shower.

Even after all this time you still had to stop your jaw from dropping whenever you saw James’ body, the defined muscles of his abs, the way they shifted in his back as he reached for things and just went about with his daily business.

His legs. Those fucking legs.

And don’t even get you started on his arms because you could go on and on for hours about them, about every part of him quite frankly.

You stood dumbstruck outside the shower cubicle before James pulled you in by your arm before someone walked in and saw you naked. 

“What do you think you’re doing?” The boy growled, towering over you as he wrapped an arm around your waist, keeping you tucked into his strong chest. You could feel his half hard cock pressing against your stomach as one hand drifted to your ass, squeezing it to the point of pain before releasing and smacking the afflicted area with the palm of his hand. The burning hot water didn’t help either with the pain as it washed over your backside, amplifying the sting from your boyfriend’s harsh touch.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” You asked incredulously, having no clue what he was talking about. “That hurt.”

“Good,” He responded curtly, returning his tight hold on the supple flesh of your bottom, squeezing even more harshly than before, no doubt leaving bruises in the shape of his fingers. 

“S’ what you deserve after teasing me like that with that fucking prat, and then right now, standing naked in the middle of the locker room, anyone could’ve walked in at any point and seen your arse.”

“No one was gonna just-”

You were cut off by his fingers meeting the side of your face more harshly than you anticipated.

“Ow,” You squeaked, “Was that necessary?”

Growing more and more frustrated James pushed his index and middle finger past your slightly parted lips, shoving his long fingers further and further until the tips of his rough, calloused digits bumped the back of your throat and had you struggling to breathe as he triggered your gag reflex.

“Shut your fucking mouth,” He grumbled, catching your wrist with his hand before you were able to grab at the wrist of the hand gagging you, “First flirting with that little prick and now talking back to me, who the fuck do you think you are?”

Your response was garbled as you tried to speak around his fingers, but no matter what you were trying to say it was muffled even more as he pushed his fingers even further down your throat. 

A sick smile grazed his face as you gagged violently, tears slipping from your tear ducts and rolling down your face in twin rivers, collecting in pools at the curve of your jaw.

“Oh don’t cry baby,” He cooed mockingly, pulling his fingers from your mouth, allowing you to take deep gulps of air as he moved his hands to cup your jaw, his thumbs wiping away your tears.

One hand trailed from your face, down your torso, pausing at your tit to take the nipple between his fingers, pinching harshly and pulling a strangled gasp from your lips as the action sent pleasure mixed with a healthy amount of pain zipping up your spine. 

Eventually finding his way to your pussy James ran his index finger through your sopping folds, smiling cavalierly at the pool of slick he found there.

“Fucking pathetic,” He muttered, staring at his finger as it teased your cunt, “You got off on that?” He asked, lifting his visage to meet yours, “You got off on Daddy fucking choking you with his fingers?”

After a beat of held eye contact, you realized that it wasn’t a rhetorical question and that the man in front of you expected an answer. 

“Yes, Daddy.” 

Satisfied with your response James’ gaze dropped back to your pussy where he was now lifting up your clitoral hood, exposing your sensitive bundle of nerves to his touch.

“What was that you said about congratulating me slut?” He asked, harshly pinching your clit between his thumb and forefinger, smirking as you whimpered and brought your hand up to clasp his bicep, supporting yourself as you felt your knees weakening. 

The pleasure he could bring you from just his fingers was enough to have you in a puddle by his feet, clawing at his ankles and begging for more.

“Think as a reward I’d like to mark you up, show everyone how much of a desperate whore my baby is. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

“Yes Daddy, wanna be your slut.”

“My whore,” He corrected.

“Your whore.”

At your agreement James latched his lips onto the side of your neck, sucking vicious hues of purple and blue into the delicate skin that resided there.

“Fuck,” You swore, tipping your head back so that he could have even better access to your skin.

A pathetic whine slipped from your trembling lips as James pulled away from your neck, instead attaching them to yours, delicately brushing his against your own. As you tried to lean forward, wanting to deepen the kiss you felt James’ hand bury itself in your damp hair, gripping tightly at the root, using his hold to keep your head in place as he pulled back.

“No swearing pretty girl,” He murmured as his lips brushed yours ever so lightly against yours, “Pretty babies don’t swear, yeah?” 

He peppered kisses across your lips as you nodded your agreement, tickling your skin before finally deepening the kiss as you so desperately wanted. You savored the taste of his lips as his tongue delved into your mouth, exploring the warm expanse before mingling his tongue with yours. 

You were no match for his aggression as he dominated your tongue pulling a moan from the depths of your belly where you felt a know tightening as the slick between your legs continued to collect in a pool of your own arousal.

“Gonna show you how good I can make you feel,” James promised, crouching to loop his arms underneath your thighs, guiding your legs to wrap around his waist, and moving to support your bum as he backed you into the wall, using that to help support your weight. 

“Gonna show you how good I can make you feel when you’re mine.”

“Please Daddy,” You begged, pleading eyes looking up at him as you pushed your bottom lip out in a pathetic display of your submission, “Want your cock please.”

It was funny really, how quickly you went from feisty to his submissive slut. And you didn’t even have his cock yet.

Your begging spurring James on, he didn’t bother restraining himself any longer and instead pushed his cock into your warm, pulsing pussy.

A cry tore its way through your throat as he didn’t even bother to ease his way in, not wanting to wait another second, just wanting to be inside of you.

“Shh,” He hissed, clasping a strong hand over your mouth, hanging wide open as you barely had control over yourself to keep your eyes open, much less make the conscious effort to keep your mouth closed in order to keep in the moans and whimpers that shamelessly tumbled from your agape mouth.

James’ pace was relentless as he thrusted in and out of you, watching as his cock appeared then disappeared as he moved in and out of your cunt, your pussy squeezing him to an almost painful degree.

“So fucking pretty,” He swore, palming your tits with his strong hands, leaving your nipples hard as he pinched them again, just as he did earlier, watching the look on your face as he twisted them to the point of pain. 

You snapped your mouth shut so that you wouldn’t let out a curse, not wanting to disobey Jamie. 

“Mine, all mine,” Jamie grumbled as he let go of your boobs, preferring to watch them bounce as he sped up his thrusts, the spongy tip of his cock brushing against your g-spot, pulling a strangled sigh from you as you lost more and more of yourself in pleasure.

“All yours Daddy,” You agreed, leaning your head up against the cold tile of the shower wall as you focused on the pleasure James was bringing you with every deep thrust. 

“That’s right slut,” James said, remembering his earlier frustration, “If s’all mine, all f’me then what the hell are you doing talking to that little dick?”

His hard gaze met yours and though they were swimming with lust it did nothing to dilute the seriousness they held, making it clear to you that he expected an answer.

“Didn’t mean to Daddy, didn’t mean to be naughty,” You explained, hoping that he would realize that you really had had no mal intent in speaking with the boy, you just hadn’t wanted to be rude.

Seemingly paying your response no mind James attached his lips to your collar bone, laving his tongue over it before retracing his steps and sucking marks that matched the ones he’d previously left on your neck. 

As he worked to paint your skin in rich hues he lifted your hips so that he could reach even further depths inside of you, sheathing himself completely inside of you before pulling back out, all while moving his fingers to your clit, where they had once previously resided. 

The combined stimulation of him so deep inside of you and his strong fingers on your clit had the knot in your belly tightening as the stimulation on your clit sent tendrils of pleasure shooting up your back.

It was all too much, the overwhelming stimulation from his cock combined with his fingers pinching and rolling your sensitive bundle of nerves between the pads of his fingers, and the steady streams of scalding water warming your skin almost had you forgetting to ask to cum as you felt the pleasure boiling up in the depths of your tummy. 

“D-Daddy may I-”

You were cut off by the sound of the locker room door slamming open quickly followed by the rumbling of voices.

“Potter!” One of them called out, “You in here?”

Recognizing the voice as that belonging to none other than the very boy who had landed you in your small predicament you studied James’ face, with wide piteous eyes as the sound of footsteps slapping against the tile floor approached your little enclave.

James smiled deviously at you before responding, “Yeah, we’re back here.”

tagging:@randomoutsiders @weasleyposts @amourtentiaa @kittykylax @superbturtlemakerathlete @oliviashea05 @pinkandblueblurbs @st0nesnglitter @thatvenusbabe @itsmentalillness @zzzfour @greenlyblue @emmaev @temporaryissue @gubleryum @msmb r @miraclesoflove @velmasteas @drachoesimp @ashlovesthemarauders

[jiminiesfavouritecolourisblue]

Our little love part 2 - mafia/yandere au Drabble {angst + fluff}

As always please let me know what you think, I am actually going to go to bed now my brain is angry with me for not sleeping.

It seemed the cycle was never ending, you fucking up and pissing them off, them punishing you by drowning you in their love, only letting you come up to breathe so you could swim in your own guilt and submit to them.

You wince as the victim to your latest fuck up gets another blow to his chest. Taehyung and Hobi held onto his arms as Jungkook and Jimin kick and punch the poor individual. You know not to speak, it’ll only make things worse. Temperament was a fickle thing in their lives, trust was everything, and you still had to build yours up again.

“Y/n help please,” Kai whimpers as you stood with your arms crossed looking away.

“Don’t fucking say her name,” Jungkook growled before punching your ex colleague in the face. You’re frowning, the need to beg them to stop was fighting for exit on the top of your tongue, but you bite it down and pray Kai doesn’t say another word. You know if you do as he asks they’d kill him. Your punishment was to watch silently.

Yoongi strolls up behind you, hands in his pockets before he rests his head on your shoulder, watching the display in front of you both.

“Nothing to say little love?” He whispers as your friend groans out in pain.

Please don’t kill him, you want to say, but you just shake your head in defeat. You want to believe they’re better than this, but the evidence of the contrary was never hidden from you. They showed you every side of them whether proud of it or not with bold eyes daring you to stop loving them, pushing your boundaries and morals waiting for you to snap. But the breaking point never came, you loved them, you shouldn’t and you knew it, but you did. You were completely and utterly theirs, yet still they treated you like you hadn’t seen the worst of them. Like you would run away the second you realised they were monsters, not that they would let you run far, only far enough to let you take a single breath before making you drown in them once again.

Yoongi wraps his arms around your waist, keeping an eye on your reactions. The asshole deserved it, not that they cared either way, he tried to take you away from them, that was enough.

Kai was your old partner before you took a very early retirement, what you didn’t know was that he continued the case you were working on before you left; the case of the seven men you now loved and the reason you quit said job. He had called you to meet up for old times sake and you, very naively in Yoongi’s mind, decided it was harmless. But if it was harmless why didn’t you say anything to the boys? You thought Kai didn’t know the reason you handed in your resignation, but he had been keeping an eye on you all before he realised you were the key to their downfall. He knew you harboured some feeling for him in the past and thought you’d reciprocate when he tried to flirt his way into getting his hands on the evidence you collected, he didnt know you burned it all. You lied to him and said you lost it, same difference anyway. This prompted plan b from him.

“Y/n they’re criminals,” he had said to you. “You’re a cop at heart you can’t love them.”

You floundered at his words when you realised he knew, and yet he still asked you to betray them.

“Kai I think I need to go...”

It was a mistake, you knew it then, but he followed you out onto the street and you hoped tonight the men you loved weren’t keeping an eye on you. Maybe naive was an understatement.

“Are they coercing you Y/n! Do they have something on you or are they threatening you?” He calls after you. “Because the Y/n I know would never love killers, what have they done to you?”

It was when he reached his hand out to grab your arm that your boyfriends decided to show themselves from the shadows. Which lead to the situation now, Kai beat up and bruised beyond recognition, and you forced to watch. He falls unconscious and they let him drop to the floor, you hate this side of them, it was cruel and cold but you’d never leave. They turn to face you now, their anger still present despite the last hour of releasing it onto your old partner. They don’t miss the way you’re shaking, the shallow breaths as you try and keep your tears to yourself. As much as you hate their violence, you hate their disappointment in you more.

——————————————————————————

You’re sitting in Joonie’s lap for what you call the debriefing of your punishment, this happened way too often in your opinion. You look down but he wasn’t having it today, tilting your head to look at him by your chin.

“Why did you get punished today little love?” He starts the same way as usual.

“I went out without telling you guys where I was going or who with,” you say while fiddling with your fingers out of nervous habit.

“And?” Hobi sits across from you in a chair, legs straddling the back and an elbow rested on top with his fist holding up his face. Hobi was hardest to pacify, he was ruthless and unforgiving and while that didn’t extend to you, you still had a hard time with his stubborn anger.

“I met up with Kai, and I let him touch me,” you’ve done this too many times before to not know how it worked. Kai’s ‘touch’ obviously meant nothing to you but for them it was the worst crime anyone could commit against their little love.

You remember the time you nearly tripped in the park and a guy steadied you politely, but you still had to hold Jungkook back from throwing hands.

“Kookie would you rather I fell and hurt myself?” No he hadn’t wanted that so he grumbled in agreement still seething but you cooled it down. “Instead of hitting him maybe you should thank him,” it was a joke but it made the youngest scoff.

“Baby girl why can’t you just be good?” Namjoon’s sigh brings you back to the present. “Why do you always have to test us like this?”

You didn’t mean to, you want to say it but the words are stuck below the sob in your throat. You actually whimper as his tone, bottom lip wobbling pathetically. He hadn’t even told you off properly, but you already felt like a mess as he bathed you in his disappointment. That was the common consequence of your actions and you hated it, you couldn’t do anything right.

——————————————————————————

“Jin do you need help with the food?” You ask your eldest boyfriend politely, he was frowning and you thought it was because today’s meal was too much for him to handle alone, his tone of voice made you realise it was because of you.

“No, I’m alright,” he doesn’t look at you as he speaks and you’re left gaping at him like a fish. Jin loved it when you cooked with him, it was your bonding time without the others, although Yoongi would join you from time to time. The others also tried but Jin wouldn’t let them anywhere near the kitchen, they hogged you enough anyway.

You feel your soul deflate, still standing there as he ignored you.

“Are you mad at me too?”

The way you said it made his heart twinge with guilt, but the others were right you wouldn’t learn and your first betrayal was still fresh on their minds. He sighs and you turn away, refusing to crying in front of them for the tenth time that day. What was wrong with you? Ever since that day where they found out who you really were you felt like you werent enough anymore, you tried so hard to make up for it all but you kept messing up. You weren’t like this before, but after seeing the hurt you put them through you were constantly on edge and second guessing yourself. You wish you could go back and stop them from ever finding out.

Jin hears the sniffle as you walk away and he can’t go through with it.

“Wait little love,” he calls for you. “I forgot to cut the onions, would you mind?”

You shake your head, you didn’t mind, but you didn’t trust your voice to answer for you. Youre grateful to Jin for giving you this task, it hides the fact you’re crying, but you know he doesn’t miss it.

——————————————————————————

Jimin and Taehyung were giving you narrowed stern gazes through dinner, it put you off your food which resulted in getting told off by Jin just after he branched out to you in the kitchen.

You felt alone, like the seven men you loved were against you and there was no one to blame but yourself.

“I’m sorry,” you say quietly before getting up and removing yourself from the dinner table and dining room, ignoring all of their stares. You decide maybe an early night is best, you could start again fresh tomorrow. You don’t get too far up the stairs before a hand pulls you back, you turn to see Jimin with Tae a few steps behind him.

You’re so used to seeing them laugh and play around that it feels like you’re looking at different people. Even during missions or gun fights, the youngest three were always joking their way through the bloodshed, keeping scores of who got the most headshots and other grotesque games. You remember the time Jimin and Tae called you during he middle of a shoot out, arguing with you and each other over who you loved more out of the two while you begged them to not get shot or killed.

“Why did you go see him Y/n?” Jimin asked, he wore the demeanour he used for enemies and it takes you back to that night.

“I... h-he said he wanted to see me to catch up,” you explain but you know it’ll fall on deaf ears.

“And you thought that was a good idea, to see your old cop buddy?” His tone makes you feel stupid, you weren’t stupid.

“He was my friend Jimin,” you say in disbelief, you know in the end it was a mistake but at the time it didn’t seem like the worst idea in the world.

“You’re ours,” Taehyung moved forward, towering over you even though he’s a step below you. His face is close to your own, eyes burning into yours as he looks disgusted at the words that left your mouth as if they’re still attached to you. “How do you think we felt when you went to see another detective? Do you have any idea what was going through our heads?”

“Tae I love you,” you lean away from him, searching his face for a hint of softness and love in his gaze, but there was only fire. “You know I wouldn’t, you all know I wouldn’t, I left that life for you why would I turn back to it?”

He stalks away from you without a word, Jimin close behind, giving you a final cold glance before leaving you alone. You thought your love could make them better but if anything you made their darkness worse.

——————————————————————————

Jungkook needed to vent, the only way he knew how was physically. Obviously it wasn’t the cleverest thing he’s done, taking rounds with the punching bag only to open up the cuts on his hand from beating the bastard earlier. He mutters a few curse words under his breath, why did you make matters worse? Maybe they were being harsh on you before today, finding any excuse to punish you a little, test your boundaries and see if you would run, but today they honestly feared that was what happened. They thought you chose to leave them and go back to the life you had before them, but they’d never let you go, they couldn’t let you go. Despite everything you loved them and they worshipped the ground you walked on. You were everything for them now, there’s be no point to any of them without you. Why didn’t you understand that?

He throws another punch to the bag, spreading his blood across them, it hurt like hell, but the thought of you running back to your old partner still played on all of their minds. He wanted to cry, he wanted to find you and beg you to never leave them, they’d be nothing without you.

There’s a knock on the door and he finds you on the other side, waiting for permission to come in. You never waited for permission, it makes him frown, maybe they were too harsh on you today. He could see you shuffling your weight, insecurity screaming through your eyes, you feared his rejection more than his anger.

He notices the first aid kit in your hand, you must’ve heard him. He doesn’t let the fluttering in his chest reach his face as he sits on the bench, waiting for you to come to him.

His gaze is expectant, daring you to cross the threshold and face him, you were no coward, you didn’t fear them the way others did, why were you behaving so meekly now? You force yourself to move and sit beside him, setting the kit down and pushing your hair back behind your ears. He doesn’t move his gaze away from you, even with the sweat and hair hanging in front of his face.

You carefully take a his hand into yours, sucking air between your teeth at how injured it was.

“I’m sorry you hurt yourself because of me,” you say, eyes on his bloodied knuckle as you press the ointment against the open wounds. “Are you sure you want me to stay, I keep hurting you...”

You try to sound like you’re joking, that you’re okay and the hurt isn’t weighing you down with your doubts. He frowns, they really did take it too far. He sets down the cotton wool from your grasp, taking both of hands into his before kissing each finger delicately without letting you look away.

“You’re perfect little love,” Jungkook says, reassuring you with no question in his voice. “We’re the ones who don’t deserve you, we’re mean and cruel but we’re never letting you go.”

You remember how loving they were before that night, maybe while they accepted the truth at face value they could never really forgive you in their hearts. Maybe that’s why they were being like this, they didn’t love you the same way anymore.

“Do you love me?” You had to know, the doubt was eating you alive.

He looks at you as if you’re insane, maybe you are, you don’t know anymore.

“Little love, don’t you see how much we love you?” He asks sincerely. “We would do anything for that love even if it made you hate us, you belong with us, and no one is going to take you away.”

You could see the crazed look in his face grow as he spoke, you believed him, the honestly worn like a heart on a sleeve. But his answer bought a wave clarity to your hazed vision, you made them like this, you made them worse, you had to leave.