#i never knew posting about me crying about a sandwich

[borderlinereminders]

How am I still getting asks calling my partner terrible and/or abusive because of the sandwich incident? They mention that he clearly doesn't care about me. Like they're painted as "you deserve better" type deal. Or sometimes they're outright aggressive that I'm setting a bad example for my followers.

Like they don't even bother me. They just seem so ridiculous I can't take them seriously. A part of me admires your commitment to a post I posted almost two years ago. But honestly, just... why?

[meliciousmel13]

̗̗̀̀➛ killer!billie headcannons

paring: killer!billie x bimbo!reader warnings: smut, obsessive behavior, face sitting, stalking? (kind of), billie kills someone here, grinding, i think thats it tell me if you find any more please!

wc: 1,487

SYNOPSIS: headcannons of killer!billie x bimbo!reader

taglist: @chrissv4mp, if your not a part of this list but want to be comment under my tag list post, which is on my masterlist.

an: i wrote this today 💀 IM ON MY PERIODDD and kind of horny ngl

at first, she didn’t think much of you. she thought you were just another co-worker at her boring office job that sometimes brought everyone coffee, like the angel you were.

until she saw her co-worker, oliver, flirt with you. she knew he was flirting with you because he was touching you. he was touching your shoulder, and touching your hair. and touching, and touching. he would stop fucking touching you.

she hated that it irritated her. hated the way you wore things that made people look, like that skimpy top you wore last week, everyone was looking.

the first time you talked to her, you smiled, gave her a tissue wrapped doughnut and black coffee with one sugar cube. said it was nice to meet her and that you were new here.

it’s either you knew her, or just guessed her coffee preference. but you were so thoughtful.

she unknowingly started to follow you to the empty parking lot and find you fumbling with your keys with papers stacked on one arm.

she imagined helping you, taking those papers from you and handing you her number, maybe you call her and invite her to diner or something, anything.

but she never did anything. only savored the way her hand brushes yours whenever you were handing her the breakfast she relied on.

sometimes she skips meals so she can talk to you.

she didn’t even have to ask. just subtly hint that she forgot her lunch at home—and, oh, whatever will she do?

“you can have some of mine.” you smiled softly, pushing half of your sandwich into her hands.

“oh, i can’t take your food. it’s fine, i can go a day without lunch.” billie said, shaking her head. knowing that you would deny her not eating.

“what? no. half already fills me up you can take it.”

“if you insist.” she smiled.

it wasn’t her fault she followed oliver home. it was his fault, for flirting with what was hers. you.

she imagined stabbing oliver in the neck. hiding the body, and comforting you when you run to her, talking about how awful it is for someone to stab such a nice person.

until she actually killed him.

billie prepared her rubber gloves, the sharpened knife and various things. she thought of her plan. would she just knock on his door and stab him? no. that was too dangerous. someone might see her.

so she decided to sneak in his backyard. he lived alone, with 2 cats and 2 woman constantly coming in and out. great, he was even a cheater. see? he deserved it.

and he even screamed like a pussy. wearing his stupid shark boxers and still had his work button up on.

the next day the police came to see the crime. one of the girls he was cheating on knocked on his door to find his dick severed and his throat slit.

and guess who you came to cry to? her. you cried over someone you barely knew.

“i can’t—” hic. “i can’t believe someone s—” hic.

“shh.” she rubbed your back, while you were crying into her shoulder, you were wearing a light pink skirt on and a pretty top that left nothing for the imagination, “maybe i can come over? bake everyone cookies?”

“mhmm,” you sniffle, wiping your tears and snot on her shirt, “m’ sorry bout' your shirt.” you breathe.

“it’s okay, you can make it up to me. give me two cookies instead of one.” billie said, smiling, hiding her satisfaction.

“i’ll give you four.” you giggle. angel.

so she came over. she walked into your house invited. and she didn’t even stalk you to find out where you live—she was being good.

you opened the door with smallest fucking shorts she’s ever seen, and a tiny pink top, with no bra. which means that your nipples were leaving a small print on the fabric.

she’s in heaven. the whole house was lathered in your perfume and natural scent. and the walls were decorated with paintings and little trinkets. she knew your house wouldn’t be boring, like olivers. she sat on your couch and it was so soft.

she thought of fucking you on it. how your moans would ricochet off the pretty walls and how her cock would pump in your pretty pussy. how you would be too afraid to touch her back in case your accidentally scratched at it and hurt her. you could never hurt her.

how she would convince you to sit on her lap, naked, and whine and whimper, begging her to just fuck you already, like you couldn’t wait any longer.

she imagined convincing you to sit on her face. how you’d be too cautious, afraid to break her nose or neck. you would still do it though, sitting on her pretty face that was filled with a satisfied smile.

she would have her head almost falling off the edge of your bed, offering you to just get off her face if it was too much, it would first start off slow, you hover over her face not even siting. holding and gripping her hands, how she would leave small kisses on your thighs before extending her tongue and tasting you.

you would ‘mhph’ at that, left breathless and feeling your knees go weak, she would take her other hand and guide you to fully sit, she would feel the weight of you on her mouth. how she would shove her long pink tongue into you.

you would moan, still holding her hand and gripping her hair, bucking your hips. actually riding her. how your pouty lips let out the prettiest noises. how would let go of her hand and hold her head with both your hands and squeeze her head between your thighs.

she didn’t do any of that, obviously. just helped you with making your cookies.

you were putting in the chocolate chips now, and billie was holding your waist and watching. in reality, she didn’t do shit to help. only preparing the ingredients and keeping you company.

“now we bake them forr, i think 20 minutes.” you said, pushing the tray into the oven and bending, to reveal your striped panties. she was behind you, could feel your ass pushing against her pelvis.

“your really good at baking.” she complemented.

“thank you.” you blush, and smile.

she realized you were an angel ages ago. but when you offered for her to sleep over? oh.

she entered your room and saw the mess, the thrown dirty underwear and your “work” clothes throw in the corner of the room.

your face was flushed and you apologized for the mess. billie didn’t mind though, even helped you clean, she always treated you well, your mom would love her.

you thought about billie meeting your parents, they would think she was the best person you’ve brought them to meet, since all your other boyfriends only wanted you for your body. their personality was horrible too, they all treated your mom awfully.

but billie would never, she’d probably help your mom in the kitchen when she’s preparing the dinner. and your dad would talk about how he needed a helping hand in his mechanic company. noticing how well she was with her hands.

you imagined how the sweat would roll off her forehead—and now that’s dangerous territory, let’s not think of that.

you let billie sleep in your bed, since you didn’t want her to sleep on the floor with a pillow. that would hurt her back.

you didn’t even think of why her knee was between your thighs, she didn’t mean to push herself behind you and do that

you woke up with billie’s knee between your thighs, she adjusted her position and unconsciously moved her knee upward, causing it to hit your pussy, and you sniffled a moan, putting a hand over her knee and grinding subtly.

you were dirty. even moved your shorts and panties to the side to feel the rough fabric of her sweatpants on your bare pussy, feeling her knee hitting your clit at the perfect angle. almost like she was awake.

you slid your hand under the pillow and gripped, digging your head into the pillow and sniffling your whines.

you felt billie shuffle, and stiffen.

“good morning, angel.” she whispered in your ear, putting your shorts and panties back to their designated spot, not before brushing your clit with her middle finger, “were you busy there? sorry, your whining woke me up.”

you apologized a million times, couldn’t stop thinking of her deep, raspy morning voice in your ears. and her knee.

billie left soon after. she didn’t leave empty handed though, she left your house with a box of chocolate chip cookies and two pairs of your dirty underwear stuffed in her pockets. and a little lip gloss stain on her cheek.

[storiesabouteli]

Amid Cares. // Elijah Hewson X Reader! (Fluff)

prompt: You are sick (kidney crisis) and Eli stays with you! Dealing with the fact that you're used to not needing anyone, and Eli will have to handle that.

words: 2,3k.

Eli slept with his mouth slightly open. He didn’t snore, but made a soft, comforting whistling sound. You wrapped your arms around his torso, wishing the pain would just fade away. Before falling asleep, you had told Eli you weren’t feeling well. He nodded, suggesting you could eat in the morning. You didn’t like worrying him, yet you liked how concerned he became for you. His brows furrowed, and he had this gentle look—it was kind of funny. “Do you want me to make something else for you?” He ran his hand over your shoulders, which were indeed warm, and he wondered why he hadn’t noticed earlier.

You had a sandwich he’d made sitting in front of you, but it felt impossible to eat, even if you wanted to. You stared at the pastel-colored plate, biting your lip, reminding yourself it hadn’t even been a week since you moved in together, and there you were, already about to mark this moment with chaos. “I’m just tired, I need to sleep, El.” He nodded, eyeing you like someone watching a child tell a lie. You didn’t catch much of what he said—couldn’t really string the words together—but he handed you a painkiller and lay down next to you.

The room was dark, his faint post-shower scent lingered, his arm was wrapped around you while your face was buried in his chest. It felt therapeutic, like it might work. Then, minutes later, you were staring into the void, trying to convince yourself the pain would ease, though it was only getting worse. Eli’s dark circles were more noticeable than usual (he never actually had them), and he usually fell asleep fast, yet he spent the night massaging your back and kissing your forehead until you finally dozed off and he could do the same. It was unfair.

“El,” you sighed deeply; moving your body felt like a chore. You cupped his face, looking at him, repeating his name with a heavy chest. “El, babe, I think I need to see a doctor.” Your weak, cracked voice made him open his eyes quickly. His hands moved through your hair, then down your back.

He was groggy, his curls slightly undone. You were hotter than before, barely able to keep your eyes open. “Why didn’t you wake me sooner?” he whispered, sitting up with you still pressed against his chest. He paused, expecting a little laugh from you, but it didn’t come. You shivered from the cold, wondering if he noticed just how much you avoided causing trouble. “El,” you weren’t sure if you were going to answer—your body felt limp, like a silent cry for help. His lips touched your forehead, and he gently laid you down on the pillow, chuckling softly in solidarity, making you believe everything would be okay.

He knew how much you hated hospitals—more than most people—and it triggered a quiet discomfort in him. “It’s all good, huh? I’ll grab a coat for you, and we’ll go.” You nodded, feeling his lips warm against your skin too. He moved calmly around the room, which was usual compared to you. Well, on closer look, he wasn’t exactly calm; he just didn’t want to make you panic, and it was working. You were feeling less anxious, not imagining worst-case scenarios.

He opened the wardrobe, knowing exactly where you’d placed your documents, and grabbed what was needed. You found it endearing that he remembered, especially since the house was still new for both of you. Despite your back feeling like it was falling apart, you smiled at him, even if just a little.

…

Eli walked with you to the car and made you comfortable in the seat, at least as much as possible. He turned on the radio, just random people talking, but it gave you new things to focus on. It was a quick trip, every now and then, you could feel his eyes on you; still, you didn't speak or open your eyes. The sound helped, although it was becoming hard to ease your pain. "El, it hurts a lot." He heard your words come out cold; your intention was to verbalize it, as if saying it out loud would make it pass.

He pressed his hand against your abdomen; his touch was comforting, and the warmth of his body felt good. Your head settled better against the pillow, and you realized you had lost track of time. You were aware of how you got there; you just couldn't clearly recall each step in your mind. Tears welled up in your eyes, panic leaving Eli a bit breathless.

"Shh, babe. It’s not going to be anything serious, you’ll see, right? They’ll medicate you, check that it’s nothing serious, and soon we’ll be home." He looked pale, but his voice was steady. You wonder if Eli would be good with kids? He wrapped his arm tighter around your waist, and even though your head hurt too, nothing seemed to improve, despite the adrenaline.

Eli ended up sitting beside you, resting his cheek on your belly, holding your hand, and gazing at your face. His thumb traced patterns on your skin, every now and then, he rubbed his face against you. You heard him sigh, a slight exchange of smiles; honestly, panicking only made it worse. Having Eli there, working hard to provide new stimuli for your brain and giving a gentle nudge to your stubborn neurons, was helping a lot.

You placed your hand on his head, weaving your fingers through his curls, which made him close his eyes, until a nurse entered the room, asking about your condition and pain level. You answered modestly, and Eli let out a breath of denial. "It hurts more than that; it started last night. The ibuprofen from yesterday didn’t last two hours; it just kept escalating ‘til it became unbearable." His voice sounded hoarse, tired yet alert. He glanced at his phone, and you smiled through a moan, noticing he had written down the time you took your last dose and when you would need to take it again. The nurse laughed too, thanking him.

"Sure," she said, glancing between you and Eli with a friendly expression. "What exactly are you feeling? Did it come on suddenly?" She continued, mentioning that she’d be back with some medication in a few minutes. You took a deep breath, briefly meeting her eyes before turning to Eli, who was holding your hand. You hadn’t expected it to escalate this much, but you knew what it was—and that you’d have to admit you'd been neglecting it a little. No excuses, you had just prioritized other things.

The silence was short, but in those few moments, despite her caution, you felt judged, as if your own thoughts were weighing you down. You felt guilty for not telling Eli sooner. You hadn’t wanted to burden him; he had his own life. "Do you want some space? I can wait in the hallway," he offered gently. You shook your head, his calm gaze steady on you. You didn’t want him to leave.

"The pain is in my lower back," you said, starting to sit up before she could help. Eli was quicker, steadying you himself. "I’ve had a lot of cramping, abdominal pain too, nausea, and I’ve been urinating frequently." Your eyes lingered on Eli’s hands, still interlaced with yours, his thumb moving in soothing circles. He didn’t know everything, but maybe he should have—he always asked, after all.

"Is this the first time?" she asked, preparing the needle. You turned your face into Eli's sweater, not wanting to watch. He kissed the top of your head, his touch as gentle as ever, without a trace of anger. "No," you sighed. "Well, maybe not this bad before. But now, it really hurts. I should’ve taken better care..."

"Yeah," she said, honestly. "Do you think it's a kidney issue?" she ventured, though it was already clear that it likely was, though understandable that it could have been something else. You nodded, "I’ve been growing a few stones." You stayed still as Eli’s broad fingers gently traced your arms. You had found out about this months ago—it was something you should have shared, something he would have shared with you. Now, it felt like a lie you’d been keeping.

The nurse gave you a light scolding, which you accepted as deserved, and Eli chuckled, promising to keep an eye on you. Since you hadn’t updated anyone on your condition recently, they said you’d need to stay under observation for a while. She left the room with the clipboard, and Eli answered a few more personal details about you. For some reason, that made you smile at nothing in particular. The medication was finally kicking in.

When the door clicked shut, you closed your eyes for a moment. Eli's hand rested on your abdomen, his lips pressed light, repetitive kisses to your forehead until a small smile broke through your discomfort. "Still hurting, poppy?" His voice was cautious, eyes slightly watery, the tip of his nose red. He wasn’t crying—maybe he was sad—but mostly, he looked exhausted. "No," you whispered, a little afraid of what would come next. You couldn’t meet his gaze.

"Are you tired?" His fingers brushed your cheek, and he noticed you weren’t warm anymore, visibly relieved. You felt the weight lift off his shoulders. "Kind of, but the pain is finally going away." He nodded. His expression was unreadable, but you felt an obligation to look at him, to talk about it, though you knew he would bring it up later.

"I'm sorry, I feel like a liar." Your eyes filled with tears, and you weren’t quite sure why. "You just kept it to yourself. I wish you’d told me. I would’ve taken care of you, given you support, you know?" He wasn't angry, and you knew he’d always be there for you, but the feeling was strange nonetheless.

"I can handle this on my own. It’s not something you need to worry about, El." Your words came out bitter, but they flowed naturally. This was how you usually were. Eli had gotten used to it, knowing it would take time for you to open up that side of yourself. He gave a small smile, and you figured he wasn’t mad because he was still so close to you, both in presence and touch.

"I didn’t mean for it to come out that way..." you added, but he squeezed your hand, signaling that he understood. "I know you can handle things on your own, but I don’t want you to have to. I don’t really get why you try so hard not to need me, like you’re some kind of burden. The thing is," he paused, swallowing to get rid of the lump in his throat. His words were steady, even as he took a few heavier breaths, "I’m here because I want to be, whether you like it or not," he smiled, and you laughed, following the light in his eyes. "You’re not a burden at all, I’d do it all over again."

You took his words in, studying his face softly. "You need to remind me to drink water; it’s not as simple as it seems." He laughed quietly, the sound filling the room with warmth. He assured you he would.

Your body felt more relaxed now, both from what Eli had said and the effect of the medication. Sleep was creeping in, fatigue from the discomfort finally catching up. The bed was spacious, and you didn’t expect it, but Eli sat beside you, awkwardly positioning himself next to you and wrapping his arm around you to make sure you were comfortable.

"Are you staying the night?" you asked, his chest vibrating comfortingly against you. He nodded, as if it were obvious to him, though not as much to you. "Shouldn’t you tell the guys you won’t be there tomorrow?" You lifted yourself a little to look at him, a sudden mental reminder popping up. He simply guided your head back to his shoulder, stroking your hair.

"I told them before you fell asleep at home. I wasn’t planning on going," he murmured. Knowing you were his priority made your body tingle, but not in a bad way. It was unfamiliar, but good. Hearing him refer to your place as "home" made you happy.

You nestled closer to him, your hand slipping under his shirt to feel the warmth of his waist as he held you tightly. "I’m glad you’re here, El." Speaking it aloud was your way of letting him know how much you appreciated everything, even if it seemed normal to him. And Eli knew you needed someone there—the way you gripped his hand, the fearful look in your eyes. He had heard your stories, learned about your discomfort in these settings. He could easily picture you waking up in a few hours, each test making your mind jump to new conclusions about your condition. He wanted to be there for you, and he would be.

"It’s fine, but just to be clear, I’m here because I want to be, not because I have to." You chuckled, your mind growing calm as his fingers worked their way into your hair. This time, it was the steady hum of your body that made him feel more grounded.

[codnriddlewhore]

A/N: guys idk how to make thos links someone teach me plsssss and i hope u like this, i decided to post 2 shorter parts instead of 1 long one, felt nicer. next part is gonna be set some years later and itll be maaaybe a tad bit happier. dont hesitate to say anything, good or bad, mwah

wc: 965

She left earlier, of course.

The day after, to be precise. It was a slow and quiet morning. She felt at peace and torn apart at the same time. Can you feel that way? Maybe like someone that felt content with the way they lived their life, though now being stuck in a tornado.

Tom´s wife was sitting on the breakfast table with one leg propped up on the chair, wearing one of his jumpers and a teacup in her hand, smiling to herself and only having kissed him good morning and asked if he wanted tea. It angered him. Of course it did, she was always and every day the biggest chatterbox in the morning, excited about the day. He sometimes joked that it annoyed him. He hoped she realized the joke. He lived off her feeding him her presence. And who smiles like that, does he have a stain on his tie? Did she pack him heart shaped-sandwiches? I mean what else could´ve-

“Why aren´t you getting dressed? We`ve got to leave in-“

He checks his watch.

“exactly 13 minutes. I love you, but I know you wouldn´t make it.

She looks up from her tea, smiling again. He could sense it wasn´t the adorable type, it made his stomach turn. Something was wrong.

Well of course something was wrong Riddle, you´re ignoring the fact that you weren´t able to breath after the argument last night and that, you incontrollable child threw up all over the fucking bathroom you-

“Oh Minerva took the 2nd years to Hogsmeade for the morning, got 3 free periods.”

Liar. Liar. Liar. Liar. You never lie to me, you´ve never lied to me- What did I do, please, I´m begging you to go back day before yesterday with me I can´t fucking stand this

Of course he knew what he did, though did it deserve such a reaction? From both of them?

She stands up, gets very close to him and musters a real smile, one that made her eyes really small and showed her gums. It took all of her willpower left to do so. For him, It made his before mentioned train of thought stop.

Okay, of course it´s still her. It´s his wife.

She straightens his wobbly tie, there was no need to do so on other mornings. Another look in his eyes, knowing she´s the probably the only person that will see the truth in them. The fear. The other wobbly thing in the room were his legs when she kissed him, deeply, not hungry, but lovingly and meaningfully.

“Be nice. They´ll love you”

“Pfft, absolutely, don´t they always?”, he didn´t want to make a joke in such a moment but I guess he felt human, wanting to lift the atmosphere.

In the years after, they´d both remember this moment countless of times, she grinning like a child that remembered their last cool birthday party and he as in the objectively worst choice of words he ever made.

It was time, she felt it in the air. She'd die otherwise. Her to-do-list was now fairly simple, though the circumstances added some points.

pack Cry Put music on to distract Sob Pack Unpack Sob Look forward to life Pack Leave her faveorite blanket. He secretly thinks it´s fluffy. He gets cold easily. cry Cry happy tears because how fortunate is she to have spent 3 years with such a magnificent person. Pack Write note Cry but just a tad Breathe. Make tea. Put a lid on his cup so it stays hot. Breathe Smile Leave

Tom came home early. Who fucking cares about the pre-OWLs, he knows there´s the quidditch finale tonight and no one will concentrate. 1st day after Christmas break, whose idea was that.

Was she still in the school? He didn´t see her, though he didn´t particularly go look for her, he knows when to back off. She sometimes “regenerated” in her own space.

He got comfortable in his house and went into the ki- Did he forget his tea this morning? Seems unusual.

a note.

No.

In a pace an Olympic fast-walker would be jealous of, he makes his way to the library and sits down in the old, brown leather chair. His eyeballs hurt from his palms pressing into them, a strategy from the orphanage when he was first mocked for crying, it prevented the tears wonderfully. Tom sat like that for a few minutes, his left leg bouncing up and down and increasing in speed.

No.

Abruptly Tom stands up and walks over to the bookshelf with her little detective novels and big encyclopedias on algae and what not. His shaking hand pulls one out, the title doesn´t matter. He stares at it. He smells it. It doesn´t smell like her, at all. Why would it? It´s just a book. Was she real?

From his mouth comes not a growl, not a scream, what is it? He simply knows he hasn´t made that noise in a very long time and it almost accurately described his emotions. Almost. Nothing ever really will, he believes, though he´ll find a word for word description of his thoughts many years later. The book is now in about 14 pieces, torn apart, unreadable. Something wet runs over his hot cheeks. The knee-part of his grey slacks is ruined by the wet grass. He thought he´d suffocate inside.

Dearest Tommy,

I think I said everything I meant last night, though my devotion to you is hard to word.

You are the most precious, wonderful thing that has happened to me.

I want you to accept yourself.

To see yourself as I do.

You´re too much of a gift to existence and love in general to reduce yourself to a cause.

I love you, my Darling.

There were a few more words in between, but the tear stains made them unreadable. He´d get to reading it at some point. Maybe.

[serqphites]

LOTTIENAT X READER HEADCANONS | how you sleep together

summary: just how i think sleeping with lottie and nat would go if you were dating them both! this is set after what happened with javi, nat is the antler queen and she’s dealing with the guilt of javis death being because he tried to save her

pairing: lottie x nat x reader

format: headcanons

warnings: mentions of death, nightmare?

lowercase intended! not proofread!

- okay so you definitely have the attic to yourselves

- lottie is always the first to be ready for bed

- she’d just be sat there like ‘🙂’ waiting for you and nat to join her

- when it was just you and lottie you’d sit with your head on her shoulder, her arm would be wrapped around you and she’d be softly humming a song to you

- you never knew what the song was, majority of the time you think she just made them up, but it was adorable so you never said anything about it

- when nat finishes up with her antler queen stuff, checking on everyone etc, she joins you both

- she would come up as quietly as possible, stopping halfway up the ladder to listen to lottie humming a completely made up tune to you

- at the sign of nat you’d both perk up and she’d get so nervous fr

- she’d blush sooooo bad

- nat sleeps on your left while lottie sleeps on your right, you obviously being sandwiched in between them

- when you just want to cuddle lottie stretches her arm out and you lean your head back on it, shuffling as close to her as possible

- nat snuggles into your side and lays her head on your chest

- she loves listening to your heartbeat it makes her feel so safe

- you usually just talk for a while before eventually going to sleep

- when you sleep nat lays on her back and you snuggle into her side this time

- lottie being the giant she is she spoons you and wraps her arm around you, just about being able to reach over to nat too

- lottie is so warm, who needs a fireplace when you have a portable radiator??

- nat almost every night has a nightmare of the day of her hunt, she can’t let go of what happened to javi because of her

- whenever she jolts awake in a panic, you and lottie immediately spring into action

- you join her in sitting up and keep a protective arm around her, reassuring her that she’s okay and that she’s safe

- lottie tries her hand on the heart method, sometimes it’s able to ground nat but majority of the time it does nothing so she gives up and just holds you both as close to her as possible

- you just sit with her and let her cry, let her sob about how unfair the hunt was, about how it should have been her

- it’s so sad :(

- once nat is settled again you swap positions with her, allowing her to sleep in between you and lottie instead

- lottie usually hums until you both fall back to sleep, always putting you both before herself

- eventually when you’ve all drifted back to sleep you all move around a lot

- lottie usually ends up out of her blanket somehow

- nat almost always ends up stretched out on top of you

- you can’t complain though considering it’s winter and she’s keeping you warm

- if you did ever get annoyed at her she would get SO defensive

- “i’m just trying to keep you warm” with an eye roll

- lottie still utterly stunned by how she never fails to wake up out of her blanket

a/n: hello!! god i love these silly lesbians, lottienat fics are lacking in this fandom and it makes me so sad! also if someone could help me, i have no idea how to set up one of those request post thingys? help would be very much appreciated 🙏🤍

[matthew-gray-gubler-lover]

Sex With Spencer Reid All Seasons (season 12)

If you are under the age of 18, please do not read this story. Thank you.

This will cover what I believe sex would be like with Spencer Reid from season 1 to 15. Warning contains adult situations, Sex. Dirty talk, Orgasms, Crying, Spoilers for all seasons and Spencer Reid being a sex God.

Also includes fingering and oral sex. (Female receiving only.)

These are a little bit longer than I anticipated them to be because I wanted to give a back story as to why the sex is the way that it is for each season. To give it in depth feeling of why Spencer was the way that he was in bed that season.  So I will be posting them by each season rather than all at once. I hope this gives you something to look forward to, and please leave comments,  I will be leaving links to the next season below.

You are a new agent at the BAU and Spencer Reid's girlfriend, the one who takes his virginity and has sex with him for all 15 seasons and beyond.

Spencer Reid knew the first time he saw you walk through the doors of the BAU that you were the one that he was going to love forever. The first time you smiled, he knew it was the only smile that he ever wanted to wake up to. The first time he touched your hand, he knew yours was the only hand he ever wanted to hold. The first time he kissed you, he knew your lips were the only ones that he ever wanted to have pressed against his own. and the first time he made love to you, he knew you were the only one he ever wanted to do this with, and he also knew he would never be the same you or his life now, his love and his only desire.

Masterlist for these stories

Season 12

***Spoilers. If you have not seen season 12, please do not read this story.***

In season 12, we all know what happens. In season 12, Spencer is in prison and it was a horrible experience. It was very hard for me to watch these episodes, but I have seen them.

It was a wonderful night with Spencer. The two of you managed to get warmed up and dried off after getting caught in the rain coming home from the grocery store.

"It wasn't supposed to start raining in until midnight" Spencer said, ringing out his hair. "it's only 6:00"

"Well sometimes the weather can be unpredictable, honey. But yeah, I am sopping wet. I'm going to go take a shower. OK, unless you want to take one first, you should take one first" you told spencer.

"Nonsense. The lady gets the first shower. Now go warm up. That rain is cold."

"ok i will be fast" you tell him giving him a kiss before taking a quick shower.

You take a quick shower and come right out, still wrapped in your towel. You find Spencer sitting on your wooden dining room chair with his head hung just looking at the floor.

You're not really sure that you should bother him at this point. He has been having a hard time the last few weeks with his mother's condition getting worse, and you know how much he worries about her.

You slowly approach him in the chair and he looks up at you and smiles. "Hey sweetie, you look beautiful" he tells you.

You appreciate the compliment and you know that he really means and it's coming from his heart, but you can also see the tears that are filling his eyes. You want so badly to help him.

"thank you for thinking so, are you ok?" you ask him softly.

"Oh yeah. Just stressed, you know, a little worried about my mom. And wet and cold. Very, very cold" he tells you.

"well why don't you go and take a shower and warm up and then we'll have something to eat ok?"

"Yeah, that sounds good. I'm going To, I'm going to go warm up and uh, can we eat in bed?" He asks you.

"yeah anything you want honey"

Spencer walks into the bathroom and you hear the shower turn on. You hope that this shower will help him feel better. You put on a pair of pink pajamas, ones that you know the Spencer loves on you.

And then you walk back into the kitchen. You'll see that Spencer had put the groceries away while you were in the shower. You make a Turkey sandwich with Turkey, lettuce, tomato, black pepper and mayonnaise on wheat bread.

and you take it to the bedroom and place it on the nightstand next to the bed.

You then get into bed and wait for Spencer. He comes out dressed in black pajamas with a skeleton on the shirt. His Halloween pajamas. You love it.

Spencer gets into bed and eats his sandwich. You have one as well. When you two are done eating, Spencer looks over you and notice this for the first time that you're wearing his favorite pink pajamas.

You see the lust building up in his eyes as he looks at you.

"My favorite Pj's, huh? You wore these just to make me happy?"

He asked as he traced his finger down the V-neck of your pink pajama top.

"yes i did" you answer..

"Well, you know how much I love you in these, but you know how much I love you when you're out of these?" He says. Is He starts to unbutton the pink top.

You both quickly remove each other 's clothes and Spencer's on top of you and no time. He loves spending time with you and making you happy and you love the same. you both do everything you can to make sure the other one is happy.

Spencer is kissing you passionately as he slips inside with no resistance. 

You both are moaning and kissing each other. You can't get enough of each other at this point. No matter how many times you two have sex, it's always so magical. There's something about Spencer Reid that just makes everything a life magical.

The slow thrusts coming from Spencer is he finally releases your lips from his and looks deeply into your eyes before whispering the words. "I love you so much".

It's definitely not the first time that Spencer has told you this while he was making love to you, but there was something about the way that he said it tonight. There seemed to be a sadness behind it more than the love and passion that's usually behind the words.

Being a profiler, Spencer can see that you notice the change in him, so he quickly buries his head into your neck as he continues to thrust slowly into you.

After three orgasms, you're both completely spent.

Spencer holds you cuddled in his arms as he runs his finger up and down your arm, telling you once more how much he loves you. You can't help but still notice the sad tone behind it.

"i love you too spencer, are you sure you're ok?" You ask him, not wanting to bother him, not wanting to upset him, or even make him have to tell you anything he doesn't really want to. You just want to make sure that he's ok.

"No, no, not really. I... I have to leave again to do some medical research for my mom. And you know how much I hate leaving you. And I'm so sorry that I have to do it, but my mom's not getting any better. I just want her to get better. I mean, she's my mom and I just want to help her. I feel like I have IQ of 187 and I can't even fix my mom. And then I feel bad, because I means 

having to leave you. But I know how boring it would be for you to be at these research labs hearing all of this medical mumbo jumbo." He tells you, tears starting to fall from his eyes now.

"Hey, hey. Hey, Spencer. It's OK. I know how much you love your mom and how much you want to help her. That's one of the things that I love about you is how devoted of a son you are. I understand. And I'll be here when you get back. Of course I miss you like crazy when you're gone, but you call and check in and we video chat, so it's OK. It'll only be what, two days like last time?"

"Yeah, it'll only be for two days and I promise I'll make it up to you just like I did last time. We'll stay in bed the whole day if that's what you want to do."

"OK then Spencer, just calm down baby. I'm going to be here for you no matter what. I know that you'll find a way to make your mom better."

you fall asleep in his arms he is holding you like he might never feel you again, he can't make himself go to sleep he wants to keep watching you sleep and keep feeling you, he doesn't know 

why he is feeling this way, maybe the World is trying to tell him something. Maybe it's trying to tell him don't go, don't do this research. Stay here. This is where you should be. But Spencer's 

heart is in the right place, and he knows that he has to try to save his mom. He also knows that he should not go and he should stay here with you.

Spencer got up at 6:30 in the morning and packed his luggage for what he thought he was going to need for the trip to the medical research. Not before waking you up with a round of passionate morning love making. Love making in the morning with Spencer Reid really wasn't all that unusual. It happened quite often, in fact. But again, there was something different about this time.

you could still sense is sadness and unsureness that he should be leaving.

After three orgasms, once with oral and two with penetration, Spencer reluctantly got out of bed and got dressed.

"i love you so much" he tells you as he kisses you good bye.

"i love you so much spencer" you tell him.

Spencer picks up his two brown suitcases and walks out the door. You can both feel that there is something wrong, but neither one of you knows what it is. He's done this before, twice in fact, so you know he'll be back. He'll be OK.

You closed the door and leaned against it, letting out a heavy sigh, knowing that the love of your life was walking down the hallway and leaving you for the next two days You begin to cry a little, knowing that this feeling was not right.

you look at the clock on the living room table and see the bright red numbers reading out 8:45. You know by 11:00 you'll be receiving a call from Spencer and he'll be in Texas and safe.

It was 11:07 when the phone rang With your heart racing, you pick up your phone and answer it. "Spencer, you made it there."

Spencer chuckles at how happy you sound when you answer the phone. "Yes honey I made it. I'm safe and I'm just going to go in and start talking to some doctors now, OK? I love you." he told you before ending the call.

You begin to relax now that you know that Spencer is safe and sound. That night he calls you and you two talk for at least an hour before you both fall asleep.

The next day Spencer calls you and tells you that everything is going well. It's looking good for something to help his mom. You're very happy about that so that he can finally calm down a little bit.

that night Spencer calls you and says that he's going to be returning home in the morning. You're both so excited to see each other again.

You could barely sleep that night. You got up early and put on one of Spencer's favorite outfits of yours, a purple top and some black shorts.

Over at the BAU, they received a phone call that they never thought they would. Spencer was in Mexico and arrested in a high-speed chase. No one wants to be the one to have to tell you, but Luke offers to be the one.

You sit on the tan sofa in your living room, surfing through cable channels, trying to find something to keep your attention while you wait for your husband to come back home.

While you're doing that Luke Alvez walks down the hallway of yours and Spencer's shared apartments. He comes upon your door and it's like the mahogany wood burns. Lukes knuckles as he knocks upon the door.

You look over at the clock and it says that it's 11:47. It's not time for Spencer to be back home yet, but maybe he arrived early and wants to surprise you.

You run to the door and open it quickly. Luke's stomach drops as he hears the locks unlocking, not wanting to tell you the horrible news he has to tell you.

"Spencer you're early!!. Oh my gosh. I'm so glad that you're home. Oh Luke, hi Spencer's not here. But if we have a case, I'll come in and help you. He's going to be coming back today, 2:00."

"y/n I know that Reid's not here, and that's what I'm here about. We... we do have a case, but I need you to sit down. Can I come in?? Luke asks with a sad tone in his voice.

"yeah sure come on in, what's the case about?"

"y/n Something happened. I'm here because the case that we have is about Reid. He was arrested in Mexico, a high-speed chase under the influence of an unknown substance."

You can't believe what you are hearing and tell Luke that he has to be wrong, but eventually he talks you into coming with him and the rest of the team to see Spencer in Mexico.

You sit there in a daze on the jet in your own little world, not believing what's happening right now. You go into fantasy memories in fact, remembering the wonderful day that he came home the last time that he went to Texas.

Flash Back

You were taking a shower, eagerly awaiting the return of your husband Spencer.

You got out of the shower and put on your pink fluffy robe. Not expecting Spencer to be back home for at least an hour and a half, if not two hours.

While you were in the shower, Spencer had returned early. He heard the shower and knew that you would be getting ready for him. He was eager and ready to make up for the time that he had been away.

He put his suitcases down at the bedroom door and started to remove his clothes from his body.

When you exited the bathroom the room still steamy from the hot shower that you took.

You looked and saw suitcases at the door, but that wasn't the only thing you saw. You turned your head to the left and saw Spencer standing there with his arms wide open, naked, ready to greet you.

"Spencer!" you shrieked out not only because you were so happy to see him, but it never hurts to see him in the nude.

"i made it home early" he smiled.

"i'm so happy to see you" you look down to see he is naked "and so happy to see you" you giggle.

 Spencer chuckles and wraps his arms around your waist to pull you close to him before kissing you. "I'm so happy to see you too honey"

They kiss becomes deeper and Spencer finally has to pull away to untie your robe. "But I'd love to see more of you" he tells you, looking at the tie on your robe.

Once he gets it untied he opens it and looks at you. "You're so beautiful. I can't believe that I get to come home to you. I can't believe you're mine".

 "i am all yours" you tell him.

Spencer drops your robe to the floor and it pools around your feet before he lifts you up and wraps your legs around his waist and carries you to the bed.

He laid you down and kisses a trail from your lips down to your core.

"missed you so much, i can't wait to Taste you, feel you spend as much time with you as I can going to make it all up to you, I promise." He told you before licking your clit Causing a loud moan to escape your lips as he did so.

Once he was done licking and sucking you, causing you to orgasm twice from his mouth alone, he kissed a trail back up your body to your lips, kissing them and looking into your eyes before saying "I love you so much"

He pushed into the greatest of ease. You always accepted him so well to your body. Never any resistance, not even the first time.

He thrusted slowly as he threaded your fingers with his holding your hand the whole time, kissing you, telling you how much he loved you, looking into your eyes.

you hear you name being called But you are still in your fantasy thinking that it's Spencer that's calling out your name as you remember the passion of that day.

Till you hear it two more times and you realize it's JJ asking if you're OK.

You didn't realize that during your memory you started to cry, tears streaming down your face. The whole team noticed it. Everybody so worried about you, they're worried about Spencer, but they know that Spencer needs you to be strong.

you visit Spencer as often as you can. Penelope even. Make sure that you're the first one on the list to visit him, You visit him every chance you get. This time is hard for both you and Spencer. But you know that Spencer is strong and he will make it through and you will be together again once more, just the way that you have been for the past 11 years.

Everyone on the team made sure that you were OK, but Luke seemed to pay you extra special attention, something that would have raised a few eyebrows on the team if they didn't know you so well.

They know Luke as well would never try to take you away from your husband, Even with the late night check-ins, making sure that you were eating, drinking, getting enough sleep, And the night that you couldn't stop crying when he came to check on you and you both fell asleep on the couch while he held you. the team knows that Luke sees you as a little sister and Reid is his little brother And that that night came from the purest of heart on Lukes and your part.

[wol-fica]

-ℕ𝕠𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘 ℙ𝕖𝕣𝕤𝕠𝕟𝕒𝕝-

summary - during a kiss scene between you and emma myers, jenna gets a little too jealous for her own good

warnings - movie kiss, yelling, pushing into chair, angry! jenna x apologetic! reader, implied sex but you won’t see that ;), not proofread

an - i’ll be honest, i accidentally posted the first half of this so if you saw that, you didn’t 👀

———

Jenna was pissed, and that was an understatement. She was infuriated with the idea of having to watch you, her girlfriend, get all kissy with Emma.

Don’t get her wrong, Jenna absolutely adores both of you and she cares very dearly about your well being. But that doesn’t stop her from having feelings of jealousy and anger when your lips were locked with her own best friends.

“And, cut! Lunch break!” Tim shouted as the crew started to disperse.

Jenna watched as you and Emma exited the room together, and she didn’t miss the way her friend’s eyes were glued to you. Jenna’s face had anger written all over it, which is why most of the cast and crew stayed away from her while they ate. All, except for you.

See, you were quite an oblivious person when it came to someone being mad. Wether they were mad at you or whatever else, you always seemed to miss that factor. So when the time came for you to go eat lunch with your girlfriend, her demeanor slipped right past you.

“Hi love, how are you?” You asked, completely unaware of Jenna’s fowl mood.

“I’m great.” She hissed, stabbing her lettuce aggressively.

You paused, mouth open, waiting to eat a part of your sandwich. Why did she sound mad? Was it something I did? Did someone tick her off? All these questions ran through your mind, causing you to stay silent as you wondered which one was the best to ask.

“Thanks for asking.” She said, getting up to throw away what was left of her lunch.

You winced when the sound of her trash getting slammed into the trash can echoed through the lunch room. All eyes were on you in an instant, and you knew you had to go get your girl.

You hurriedly stuffed your sandwich in your mouth before running after your girlfriend, chucking your trash on the way. Soon, you had caught up to her, as she was kinda slow and didn’t prefer to run.

“Jenna!” You called, out of breath from running after her.

She turned to you, silently staring you down as you took a second to breathe. Once you were finished you stood up to speak properly to her, but before you could get a word out, she dragged you into a nearby tent.

The room was pretty much empty, besides a few chairs and a couch. It was seemingly just a relaxing room for the crew but everyone had vacated to the lunch hall to eat.

“Jenna.” You repeated as she pulled you inside.

“Hush.” She growled, roughly pushing you into a chair.

She faced you with a fury that you vowed to never want to see again. Her eyes were ablaze with anger while her hands were clenching and unclenching into fists. You gulped, afraid of what she had to say.

“I am furious Y/N, if you couldn’t tell.” She said, pacing around in front of you.

“I could, can I ask why?”

She whipped around, slamming her hands on the chairs arm rests. Her face got incredibly close to yours while her knees pressed up against your own.

“I am jealous.”

You scoffed, causing her to raise an eyebrow as if to test her.

“Jealous about what? Me kissing Emma?” You shook your head, now not afraid of how Jenna was acting, “It was nothing personal and you know that.”

“I really don’t, especially since she could keep her goddamn eyes off of you. She was practically fucking you in her mind!” She shouted, now pacing around again.

“So what if she was? I don’t have any feelings for her!” You defended, standing up as well.

“How am I supposed to know that?!”

You stopped, mouth agape at your girlfriend’s statement. She was staring dead at you know, tears beginning to fill her eyes.

“How am I supposed to know if you won’t leave me? How am I supposed to know if i’m good enough?” Jenna said, now practically crying.

“Oh honey.” You said sadly, rushing forward to comfort her.

She let out a sob as you enveloped her in your arms, leaning into your warm embrace. She cried on your shoulder, probably ruining her makeup in the process but neither of you cared at that point.

“I know you have insecurities, but I promise you I am not going anywhere.” You whispered, planting a kiss to her hair.

“You promise?” She hiccuped, shaking slightly from crying.

“Pinkie promise.” You replied, linking your fingers.

She giggled but stayed close to you, relishing your warmth. Her eyes met yours, and she began to lean in. Your lips met, salty from crying but not repulsive. The way her hands wound into your hair and tugged lightly, made you want to take her right here in this tent. A soft moan exited your mouth as she gently scratched your scalp with her nails.

“Is my baby all needy now?” Jenna cooed, pulling you to her shoulder as she massaged your head.

All you could do was groan in defeat, melting into her embrace. Jenna always had a way with you, and she always knew what buttons to push and pressure points to pinch when it came to making you submit to her.

“I think you deserve a punishment for being so naughty.” She whispered before pushing you back into the chair and starting to undo your tie.

What a long lunch it will be for you.

————————

[bite-sized-devil]

💕 Love letters 💕

Written as an add on to @crazyyanderefangirlfan idea posted here

Summary: yeah as if I'm writing that, check out the original post if you want info. And then hit like and reblog because it was such a good idea! Love you Yan 💕💕

Lucifer: Little dove, I see the effort you put into your studies and extracurricular activities. Your achievements should fill you with pride, as having you as part of my family fills me with pride. Forgive me, love. You mean the world to me.

Mammon: If I'd a known those notes were from you MC I wouldn'ta reacted so dumb like! I fish'd 'em outta the garbage, just so ya know. They're keep'n Goldie company. Say, you wouldn't wanna write another one would ya? I'll keep it like it's my most prized possession. Like how I'd keep you. I love you

Leviathan: My first stalker turns out to be you MC? That's like, straight out of one of my favourite animes where the hero keeps getting these notes left for him to find and it turns out to be his childhood friend who he's been in love with for years but he was scared she didn't feel the same- anyway I miss you MC, please come play games with me again. I won't stop sending you these little notes until you agree! I neeeeeeeeed my player two.

Satan: Dearest MC, I am filled with the utmost rage and regret at my inability to determine that those notes were from you. Please accept my most humble apology, I'm sorry my love. Going forward I would request that you sign them, not necessarily in your name but a simple signature so that I can determine their origin. For example: signed kitten. Yours eternally, Satan.

Asmo: Screaming! Crying! MC! You are such a naughty little thing, sending me love notes and not signing your name. How am I supposed to know which of my admirers they were from? Darling, next time you want to write me a note, just come to my door. Let's save the trees and skip the paper altogether. Love letters are so much more fun when they are written in kisses on the naked skin. 😘😘

Beel: Doesn't write you a note, comes to you in person later that night standing in your doorway. He's so big but looks so small in that moment, giving you puppy dog eyes as he clutches your smaller hands in his. "MC are you really over us? Because I'm not over you. I'm in love with you, I want you. Always. I kept every note you gave me. I knew they were from you, I know your hand writing and I know your scent. Please forgive my brothers, they're sorry, I know they are."

Belphegor: I'm always making mistakes with you MC, would you forgive me again? Please, I'll beg if I have to. Can I make it up to you? I'll do anything for you, kill for you, give you anything you want. Just, say you'll forgive me. I keep having nightmares about you leaving me, forgetting about me, hating me, and yet it's still not as hellish as hearing you say you're over me. I'm sorry MC, I took you for granted and swear to you I never will again.

What do you think Yan? Begging is a good colour on them. Kinda dig that 😅☺️😘

@delphi-dreamin @sassykattery @alexxavicry @your-next-daydream @rosanism @marvelous-maniac @i-hardly-know @kyungjoon-do @ria-demon29 @itsmeninerz @allielozoya @spookyscaryskeletonn @zarakem @tea-time-writes @ladyofcrowsx-deactivated2023040 @yuujispinkhair @attic-club-sandwich @whimsiecat @bontensbabygirl @beelzebubneedsabeelzehug @lostsomewhereinthegarden @simpsations @randomnerdthingz @weeb24555

[use-your-telescope]

When Everything's Made to be Broken - Chapter 16: We Don't Know What We're Doing

Summary: Amidst the day to day, Theo and Loki continue to learn new things about each other, including some interesting details about how they view relationships.

Author’s Note: First, I am so sorry this is so late!! I had planned to post on the 28th, but I ended up having some (good) things come up that took up my weekend and meant I didn’t have time to get this to a point I felt was ready to post. I foolishly thought I could have it ready by Tuesday, then by Friday, then Sunday, then accepted my fate and admitted I just wouldn’t have time until this weekend to get this chapter wrapped up and posted (shoutout to a work trip last weekend for making this take an extra week!) I shared a note about the delay on tumblr, but figured I’d share it here so I’m covering my bases.

That being said, spring is a crazy time for me work-wise, plus I’m finishing my second master’s degree this semester (after a two year hiatus!), so this will probably not be the only time things get a bit delayed. I’m pretty sure I will have the next chapter ready for next Sunday (the 24th), but the week after that has some work stuff going on, which means the following chapter would be posted on March 9th. Anyways, thanks for your patience, and hope you enjoy <3 reblogs are always appreciated, and lmk if you want to be added to tag list!

Word Count: 6,789

Song: Amateur Lovers - Switchfoot (Bonus Song: Passing Through A Screen Door - The Wonder Years)

Everyone I know Needs love like drugs Like a common cold We could never shrug My baby and me We're missing the same stuff We've all got a disease Deficiency of love Every day we still try Every night we still cry Driving home on the 805

Months after Theo first promised Loki that she would hang out with the other Avengers, she could not deny the truth: Loki, the little shit, was right.

Unintentionally agreeing to “family night” opened the floodgates of invitations to hang out, and other than the period of time where everyone’s moods plummeted from the string of unpleasant anniversaries, Theo found herself becoming more and more fond of the colorful collection of superheroes that she lived with, and it seemed like they accepted her with open arms.

Even worse, Loki was right and he knew it.

Every time Theo caught him watching as Wanda braided her hair or Yelena talked her into trying (and absolutely sucking at) Call of Duty, Loki cocked an eyebrow and shot Theo the most smug, self-satisfied smirk. When he wandered into the lab and stumbled upon Theo and Helen working on new medical technology with Bruce and Shuri, a downright devious glint flashed in his jade eyes, and his jaw flexed as if he bit back some snarky comment about Theo’s voluntary presence. When they went out as a team and it came to light that Natasha had done Theo’s makeup, Loki bit his lower lip to stifle a snicker. 

On that night, Theo had just finished up working in the emergency department; after showering and changing into an old set of Duke sweatpants and a shirt she stole from Chris the last time she stayed at his apartment, Theo made her way out to the living room with a book in hand.

The sight that greeted her was one she often found at the end of the day: Sam, Bucky, Yelena, Natasha, and Steve sprawled out on some of the more comfortable seating options, clad in sweatpants and worn t-shirts after what was likely a long day of training and briefings. A video game that Theo vaguely recognized, but not enough to identify, broadcast itself from the television screen, displaying a mix of desolate space-esque scenarios and scifi combat. 

Sam sat on the edge of the couch cushions, leaned in towards the television screen with a video game controller clutched in both hands, focusing so intently on the screen that he stuck a bit of his tongue out as he mashed buttons on the controller. 

On another couch sat Yelena and Natasha, with Bucky sandwiched between the two widows. Yelena and Bucky alternated between shoving fistfuls of popcorn into their mouths and shouting at the television as an explosion flashed on the screen, while Natasha sat with her legs curled up under her, sipping a glass of merlot as she occasionally teased Sam about dying in the game.

“Theo, hey,” Steve waved from the other side of the living room, where he stretched across on the couch with sock-covered feet propped up on the coffee table. 

“Hey,” Theo waved as she took her usual seat, curling into the corner of the couch. “So, which game is this?”

“Halo��” Yelena replied between mouthfuls of popcorn, “— Genetically enhanced super soldiers fighting aliens.”

“I thought the point of playing video games was to take a break from reality…” Theo glanced around the room. “How is ‘genetically enhanced super soldiers fighting aliens’ any different from what we already do?” 

“It’s fictional.” Yelena shrugged, despite the knowing grin she wore.

“Hey, bird brain, don’t you have something to ask Theo?” Bucky threw a piece of popcorn at Sam, bouncing a fluffy kernel off Sam’s head; Sam scowled, but kept his eyes on the screen.

“Ask me what?” Theo glanced between the others expectantly, her pulse quickening ever so slightly. 

They must have been talking about her… But why? 

“Fuck! I was so close!” Sam groaned as a message flashed across the television screen stating his team lost. He tossed the controller at Bucky, who effortlessly caught it in his non-vibranium hand. “You try.”

“Is anyone going to tell me what I’m supposed to be asked about?” Theo repeated, her chest tightening as she tried to guess what they wanted. She couldn’t think of anything that she did recently to raise any suspicions, and the way Bucky brought it up made it sound like it wasn’t anything serious…

“Dammit Buck, I was gonna ask her when it was just the two of us.” Sam glared at Bucky, who was too busy setting up the next round of whatever shooting game they had decided on for that night.

“Okay, now I’m just getting nervous.” Theo tried to laugh it off, but it didn’t do much to cover up her ballooning nerves.

“Nah, don’t be - I just need advice… ” Sam rubbed his face with both hands, conveniently hiding any clues Theo might have gathered from his expression. “... Dating advice.”

“Dating advice?” Theo’s brows shot skyward as she echoed Sam’s message back to him. 

“Yeah. There’s a hot doc that you work with, and I want to see if she’s interested.”

Well, that certainly changed things.

Theo struggled to keep her cool, cheeks and jaw tensing to prevent a grin from curling up her lips... 

.. What were the odds that Sam shared Julie’s crush?

“Thing is, the only way I ever run into her is when I need to get patched up —“ Sam continued, “— not exactly great for getting to know each other...”

“… So you want my help getting close to her?” Theo ventured, her mind running wild with possibilities. “Who is it?!”

“Oh hell no, I’m not telling!” Sam laughed sheepishly, “Not until I know if she’s interested too!”

“How can I help if I don’t know who it is?” Theo pointed out, “it’s not like all doctors are the same! What works for Julie won’t work for Helen!” 

If Theo didn’t know any better, she swore she saw Sam’s cheeks flush at Julie’s name; then again, that might have been in her head.

“Watch him when he’s in the ER,” Bucky commented, not missing a beat even as all of his attention seemed focused on the video game. “You'll know in two seconds.”

“As much as I don’t want you to need to go to the ER, now I’m curious - maybe we can beat you up a bit during training so you need to pay a visit.” Theo teased, smirking at Sam. Yelena laughed, offering to beat him up, while Natasha and Steve exchanged knowing glances.

“Not you too–” Sam groaned, before pointing at Yelena and Bucky. “ – that’s the same thing these assholes recommended!” 

“Because it’s good advice!” Yelena huffed, crossing her arms. “You want to see her? That’s how!” 

“Oh come on, you really think that’s my advice?! I’m not that terrible,” Theo scoffed, feigning offense. “My first piece of advice would be to talk to her and see what she likes outside of work, then figure out a way to ask her to hang out and do something she enjoys. But unless you tell me who it is, you’re going to need to work up the courage to stop by the ED specifically to talk to her, or you’ll have to wait until you actually have a reason to get patched up.”

Sam let out a sharp breath, shoulders slumping as he narrowed his eyes at Theo. “And if I tell you?”

“Maybe I can help — invite them over when we do a movie night or something,” Theo offered, this time not bothering to hide her smile. After all, Theo was not above a quid pro quo - she gets to satisfy her curiosity, and Sam gets a chance to talk to whoever he’s crushing on. Win-win, really.

Sam narrowed his eyes at Theo. “… Let me think about it.” 

Theo stood up and stretched her arms overhead; since it seemed like Sam had put an end to the conversation, it was as good of a moment as any to step away for a moment and get herself some water. As she sauntered towards the kitchen, she called over her shoulder: “Your choice, but it doesn’t have to be hard!”

Conversation continued among the others as Theo entered the kitchen, voices laughing and chattering over each other so Theo couldn’t make out what anyone said. 

Theo moved on autopilot as she found a glass and added some ice from the freezer, mind spinning as she tried to recall any details from past interactions that would help her figure out which of her colleagues caught Sam’s eye. Even as she moved to the sink to fill her glass, her thoughts remained so occupied with the new mystery that she barely paid her surroundings any mind.

“You feared the Avengers would never trust you, yet Wilson trusts you enough to seek your guidance in matters of the heart; I dare say that your concerns were unfounded.” A low voice spoke from just behind Theo — a smooth baritone that she recognized anywhere, even if it startled her so badly that she dropped her glass and nearly jumped through the ceiling from shock.

A flash of emerald shot forth. Loki caught the glass just before it clattered into the sink, all the while failing to stifle his laughter at the string of curses that fell from Theo’s mouth.

“Can’t you just say hi like a normal person?!” Theo pressed one hand to her heart in a feeble attempt to settle her racing heart, all the while glaring at Loki.

“When such amusement is a possibility? Absolutely not.” Loki grinned, offering Theo her water glass. She snatched it from him, taking a quick drink of water before turning back to the sink and topping it off.

For a moment, Theo considered finding some way to fuck with Loki so he couldn’t gloat so much, but after Loki had a difficult month (between the shitty anniversaries and Thor nearly dying, calling it difficult was probably an understatement), Loki needed the chance to loosen up and laugh. Besides, he was the first friend Theo made when she moved into the tower, and even if she wouldn’t admit it outright, Theo was grateful that Loki had been right. 

So, she simply rolled her eyes and smiled. 

“You’ve not responded to my original comment,” Loki pointed out, smug satisfaction dancing in his tone.

“Sam’s interested in one of my colleagues,” Theo attempted to brush off Loki’s observation, her cheeks burning as they undoubtedly flushed.

“I heard…” Loki leaned back against the kitchen counter, a lazy smile dangling on his lips as he looked at Theo. “Still, he trusts you.”

“Not enough to tell me who it is,” Theo grumbled,  setting her water glass on the marble counter as she pretended to pout so she could cross her arms. “How long were you lurking there?”

“Long enough,” Loki simply shrugged, eyes twinkling from the reflection of the kitchen lights as he looked at Theo. “The exchange reminded me - are you still courting your gentleman caller?” 

Theo couldn’t stifle the snort of laughter that escaped from Loki’s unironic use of the term “gentleman caller;” she slapped both hands over her mouth, entire face now aflame with embarrassment from the ridiculous sound.

Loki tilted his head at Theo’s reaction, brows furrowed in a silent question. 

“Am I supposed to ignore the fact that you just used the term gentleman caller?” Theo finally managed, still chuckling as she repeated the term.

“Is there another term I ought to use?” Despite the neutral tone of Loki’s reply, his cheeks took on a faint shade of pink that stood out against his porcelain skin. “Or am I to presume you are no longer courting him?”

“I’m still seeing him, but I don’t think that ‘gentleman callers’ exist in modern day dating,” Theo couldn’t wipe the smile off her face from hearing the term in daily conversation. “Feminism and all that.”

“Ah, yes, forgive me.” The flush on Loki’s cheeks grew more noticeable. “Nonetheless, you are still courting him?”

“Yeah,” Theo nodded. “Why?”

“You’ve not spoken of him in quite some time.” Loki shrugged; the gesture looked like an attempt to be nonchalant, which matched his tone, but something about the movement seemed a bit… forced.

“You were busy supporting Thor, and I was busy supporting you, so it didn’t seem like the thing to discuss at the time.” Theo offered a sheepish smile as she explained her reasoning. “Besides, it’s nothing serious.”

In response, Loki leaned away ever-so-slightly, narrowing his eyes with a slight frown as he studied Theo.

“What?” Theo tensed as heart quickened in her chest, confused by Loki’s reaction.

“Midgardians often speak of love at first sight; after quite some time, your feelings for the actor seem ambivalent at best, yet you continue to court him,” Loki remarked slowly, continuing to look at her with a perplexed expression. “It’s rather odd.”

Odd - with a silent sigh of relief, Theo relaxed, her shoulders dropping ever so slightly. 

“I don’t believe in love at first sight – that’s lust,” Theo winked, shaking her head. “We’re just having fun and enjoying each other’s company, that’s all.”

“I see,” with a nod, Loki hummed to himself. “Do you foresee the relationship turning into something greater?”

“I don’t know,” Theo shrugged. “Never gave it much thought, if I’m honest.”

As she answered the question, a thought occurred to her: Loki asked about her dating life, but Theo never asked about his… 

“Speaking of dating, did I see you bring someone up to your suite after Stark’s fundraiser a few months back?” Theo cocked a brow at him, a sly grin spread over her face. “What’s going on there?”

“Rest assured, I’ve not kept any partners from you,” Loki replied with a smirk of his own. “I am… not one for attachment, shall we say.”

“So she was a booty call?” Theo giggled, earning a venomously dirty look from Loki. “Well, what would you call it?”

“I prefer to have companions for a single evening,” Loki dryly answered, a pale pink blush returning to his cheeks. “It’s less complicated that way.”

“Is that so?” Theo teased, her grin widening to the point that her cheeks hurt as Loki’s blush grew brighter.

“Yes –” Loki’s explanation took on an edge of defensiveness as his expression teetered on the verge of a scowl.  “It’s not as uncommon as you might think, particularly among our peers.”

Theo barely managed to keep a straight face, all-too-amused by how quickly Loki became flustered.

“Civilians do not understand the nature of our roles, so relationships that are not between two agents or established prior to one becoming an Avenger are practically doomed from the start,”  Loki continued. “Having seen the effect of those failed relationships on others, I have chosen to refrain from courting anyone.”

Theo’s stomach lurched at the observation, her prior amusement vanishing in an instant. She quickly grabbed her water glass, taking a long sip of chilled liquid to ground herself before the implications could make her spiral.

“That being said, physical desire is a near-universal experience, or a need, if you will—” If Theo’s expression shifted, Loki must not have noticed; the usual glint of something clever returned to his eye, as did a wry smirk. “—And sometimes our needs… Well… They need to be satiated.”

“Can’t fault you there.” Theo covered up her discomfort from Loki’s earlier comment with a smirk and a wink of her own. She started towards the living room, glancing back at Loki over her shoulder. “Some of us are hanging out in the living room. You want to join?”

Loki nodded, pressing away from the counter and following Theo into the living room. 

Amidst a chorus of greetings directed at Loki, Theo took her usual seat, but this time stretched her legs out across the cushions so there wasn’t room for anyone else to sit. She looked up and grinned at Loki, who stood in front of the couch like he was about to take his usual place beside her.

With narrowed eyes flitting between the seat and Theo, Loki arched one brow in a silent challenge. Theo simply widened her grin, curious to see what would follow.

To Theo’s surprise, Loki didn’t say anything; instead, he picked up both of Theo’s legs, moving them out of the way so he could sit down; once he settled into his seat, he placed both of Theo’s feet on his lap, as a result returning Theo to her initial position. He capped off the response by flashing an impish grin at Theo, a sort of silent taunt - “you thought you could try me? Foolish mortal.” 

Other than a suspicious glance exchanged between the widows, it didn’t seem like anyone even noticed the exchange between Loki and Theo.

Despite Theo’s playful behavior, Loki’s comment about relationships doomed from the start lurked in the dark recesses of her mind, no matter how hard she tried to ignore it. Even as she forced herself to pay attention while Sam and Bucky explained the rules of the particular type of Halo match they selected for the evening, Theo couldn’t shake the vague uneasiness that the comment initially instilled within her. 

A good night text from Chris, something which usually made Theo’s heart flutter in her chest, instead filled her with dread. However, Theo kept her discomfort close to her chest, acting like nothing was amiss as she replied to Chris, wishing him a good night. When Theo returned her attention back to her friends, she tucked her concern away behind carefully crafted smiles and quick-witted comments with such practiced ease that it should have been concerning. 

Only when she had retreated to the privacy of her suite, after turning out the lights and tucking herself beneath her thick, plush comforter, did she allow the matter to crawl out from the shadows and capture her attention. 

When Theo accepted the offer to go on a date, she hadn’t even considered that the difference in careers/experiences would influence their relationship, or the special considerations that she needed to make. Given her career as a doctor, she was used to missing holidays, birthdays, and special occasions because of work. Chris had, up to that point, seemed perfectly fine with that. With healthcare privacy laws, it wasn’t odd for Theo to avoid talking about work with other people, and that naturally flowed into her relationships, another thing that Chris never seemed to mind. He didn’t care that she never brought him up to her suite, and that they always stayed at his apartment. 

Maybe she was overthinking it - they never said anything about getting serious. Besides, she didn’t know the circumstances of the failed relationships that Loki referred to. Other factors could have impacted those relationships. 

Still, the idea of Chris inevitably being hurt because of Theo’s lack of foresight left a bitter taste in her mouth. The last thing Theo needed was to hurt anyone else, but time and time again she made the same mistakes, and innocent people were caught in the crossfire.

Staring up at her ceiling, Theo drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. Up until that night, she had no reason to worry about the future with Chris. He hadn’t made any indication that he wanted to pursue a long-term relationship. At that point, they were more of a situationship than anything - they didn’t change their lives for each other, they simply saw each other when it was convenient. That was okay. Theo was fine with that. 

Hopefully Chris was alright with that as well.

You tried to play it down But it never stuck I tried to bail this town I'm getting no such luck, yeah When nobody's around I keep my eyes on the clock There ain't a cure I've found In all my times around this block Every day we still try Every night we still cry We’re driving home on the 405

Between the overly loud sounds that Midgardians called music, the throngs of sweaty people, and the sharp stench of alcohol, Loki vehemently regretted allowing Maximoff to convince him to partake in this particular outing.

One of the local bars, the Hi-Lo, hosted an event they decided to call “Emo Night.” Maximoff’s explanation of “Emo Night” conveniently omitted that the “music” was far too loud and the quality of “singing” was questionable at best. Quite frankly, the quality of the scratchy, sometimes guttural noise could hardly be classified as singing, yet the people around them “danced” all the same - that was, if one could call shoving each other about in a sweaty horde dancing. 

Theo informed him the correct term was “moshing,” but Loki felt “barbaric stumbling” would be more appropriate. 

Some of their entourage seemed right at home. After freeing himself from the Winter Soldier’s programming, Barnes had grown fond of the loud and angsty racket. Maximoff had a penchant for live music, though this escapade made Loki question how the Scarlet Witch defined music. Though Wilson did not seem invested in the performance, he seemed quite comfortable with the strange cacophony – particularly strange given his typically warm and straightforward nature. 

Others, however, shared a response akin to Loki’s. Rogers hung back near the bar, nursing a bottle of beer with ear plugs in as he watched the scene unfold with an openly perplexed expression. Romanoff sat on a bar stool beside him, maintaining her usually neutral expression while drinking some sort of dark-colored cocktail from a cheap plastic cup. Despite shifting his appearance to look human, any passerby could have concluded that Vision’s presence in the midst of the drunken chaos was not natural. Amidst a sea of dark, casual clothing, Vision wore a pastel blue sweater and well-tailored pants. The android’s complexion lacked the flush of alcohol and the sweat from ‘moshing;’ combined with his lack of movement and mild expression, only emphasized the utterly strange nature of the event. Had it not been for Maximoff’s presence in the crowd, the android would undoubtedly have chosen a different location from which to observe the spectacle.

Until that evening, Loki assumed Theo would not be at home in such a ruckus - though she had performed in similar venues prior to becoming an Avenger, her musical prowess seemed far more advanced than this drivel. 

Yet, to Loki’s shock (and concern), Theo also claimed to be a fan of the so-called music; though she initially stood beside Loki as the so-called band performed, after bobbing her head to a couple of songs she disappeared into the sea of people as they jumped and screamed incomprehensible lyrics off-key.  

Left by himself in what might have been his personal hell, Loki cursed Theo for abandoning him, only to chastise himself for such a thought; after all, Theo had attempted to warn Loki of what he would experience. 

Earlier that afternoon, when Maximoff said “You’ll love it Lokes,” to which Loki rolled his eyes — it didn’t matter how many times he told Maximoff, she insisted on calling him Lokes — Theo couldn’t hold back the snort as she countered, “Given your thoughts on Tony’s music, you’ll probably hate it. But hey, you’ll probably enjoy the people watching.” 

Theo was not to blame for Loki’s current predicament; if anything, the only person Loki could truly blame was himself. After all, he was the one who accepted the invitation. 

The sound of distorted guitar shook the walls, his shoes stuck to the floor, and he couldn’t tell if he smelled stale beer or body odor - or both - but the scent was utterly repulsive. There were far too many people packed into such a small place, and they were drunken imbeciles. Even if he wanted to people-watch, it was too chaotic to tell what was going on. With the unnecessarily loud noise coming from the stage, a conversation would be near-impossible, no matter where he stood.

Then again, now that he was alone and everyone else was distracted by other things, no one would miss him if he left. Loki glanced over his shoulder at the exit, debating whether or not he should attempt to slip away at that moment, or wait until a break between songs.

The collision of another person bumping against Loki’s hip interrupted Loki’s train of thought. He whipped around, ready to unleash a series of insults at whoever dared to run into him, only to find Theo standing before him with two identical plastic cups in hand, both filled with a dark liquid similar to what Romanoff drank. The insults died on Loki’s tongue as she offered him one plastic cup, glancing down at the cup and then back at Loki before mouthing “for you.”

Loki lifted the cup and sniffed the drink; the saccharine scent of Midgardian soda intertwined with a spicy, sharp scent akin to some sort of Midgardian alcohol filled his nose, which he quite preferred to the establishment’s fetid aroma. However, Midgardian liquor would not be enough to dull his senses and render the evening tolerable; a tense chuckle – hardly more than a puff of air – escaped him at the thought.

When he looked back at Theo, her previously free hand now dangled a steel flask between two fingers for Loki to see, as if she could read his mind.

“Spiked with Thor’s whiskey,” Theo called out over the music, “You look like you need it.”

Loki rolled his eyes, schooling the discomfort from his face as he took a swallow of the beverage. 

As if the Norns recognized Loki’s frustration from the inability to converse, the ending of the next song brought a short break in the music - just long enough for the performers to switch instruments - after a relentless barrage of sensory overload, the lack of screeching instruments filling the air was a blessed reprieve. 

“Honestly, how can anyone enjoy such nonsense?” Loki leaned in towards Theo, still forced to raise his voice in order to be heard over the hollering from the inebriated audience. “It’s horrendously loud, the musicians are off-key, and the technique is terrible.”

Theo failed to bite back a grin, unfazed by Loki’s ire. “It’s not about perfection, Lo.” 

“Lo?” Loki raised an eyebrow at her. 

Theo faltered, worrying her lower lip between her teeth. “That’s okay, right?”

Loki sighed. “It’s—”  tolerable, at the very least  “—fine.”

Begrudgingly, Loki suspected that there were many things he’d allow Theo to call him that he wouldn’t allow anyone other than Thor to even consider.

“It’s about the feeling behind it. It helps us deal with the bad shit, like anger and sadness —“ Theo glanced toward the stage, then back at Loki. “— Life isn’t perfect. Music shouldn’t be perfect either.”

Much to Loki’s dismay, the band’s vocalist approached the microphone and announced the start of the next song.

Theo, however, lit up, practically glowing despite the dark venue.

“Listen closely to the lyrics—“ Theo instructed (via shouting) as the first chords and the drunken ruckus of the entire venue singing off-key slammed against Loki’s ears, “this is a good example!”

Had anyone else made the request, Loki would have outright refused; however, Loki trusted Theo enough to comply, and begrudgingly put forth a concerted effort to listen closely. 

A few lines in, Theo joined in singing:

“The highway won / I’m listening to traffic reports one on one, coming quietly undone / I was born to run away from anything good / an escape artist’s son / sun drenched pavement in my blood / the first thing that I do when I walk in / is find a way out for when shit gets bad, and…”

Theo kept eye contact with Loki as she sang along; a wistful look in her eyes made Loki recall some of the emotions he’d buried from his younger years. An uncomfortable void swirled in his chest as he stood amidst what he might consider to be the first tier of his personal hell. 

Yet, the song barreled on and Loki forced himself to continue focusing on the lyrical content. Though the writing was not Shakespeare by any stretch of the imagination, the lyricism surprised Loki with its complexity and depth. References to historical events - the Cold War scares of the sixties - interlaced with references to the lingering sentiment within tragedy led to commentary around existential anxiety, loneliness, and the fear of not fulfilling one’s potential.

Loki glanced back over to Theo, who continued to watch him while singing along. She flashed a small, almost sheepish smile as the song reached its bridge:

“Jesus Christ, I’m twenty six / all the people I graduated with / all have kids, all have wives / all have people who care if they come home at night / well Jesus Christ, did I fuck up?”

Even in the poor lighting, Loki caught a glimpse of something painful behind Theo’s expression as she uttered the phrase ‘did I fuck up?’ The expression, however, was fleeting, replaced with a different sort of intensity as Theo locked eyes with Loki for the final chorus:

“I've been looking for tears in the screen door / and I’ve been waiting for another disaster / but I was kinda hoping you’d stay / I was kinda hoping you’d stay / I was kinda hoping you’d… stay.”

Though the song concluded, neither sorcerer made any effort to look away; something unspoken and inexplicable held them in place, frozen in a moment despite the chaos and discord of their surroundings…

… Until said chaos and discord quite literally crashed into them. 

Some drunken oaf had been shoved from the crowd and into Theo’s side, knocking her off balance. Theo let out a shriek of surprise as she stumbled forward in an attempt to not crash into Loki or spill her drink.

Without a second thought, Loki practically dove to catch her before the horde could trample her in their ‘moshing,’ even though it made his drink splash out of the cup in the process. Ignoring the liquid dripping off his other hand, he hoisted Theo up by her elbow and pulled her into his chest to steady her, at least until she regained her footing. 

Yet, when he felt her weight lift, he hesitated to let go.

“Are you alright?” Loki leaned down, close enough that his cheek brushed against Theo’s temple as he spoke into her ear. 

“Yeah, I’m good.” Theo tilted her head back, the soft skin of her nose brushing against the crook of Loki’s jaw as she replied; the sensation sent a pleasant chill down Loki’s spine. “Thanks!”

Theo stepped back, and Loki forced himself to let go; though they met each other’s gaze again, this time neither of them allowed the moment to last. 

Stifled by the sheer volume of the music, the only conversation between Loki and Theo until the end of the event consisted passing comments from time to time - Theo sharing thoughts on a particular song, Loki offering to bring Theo a refill when they both finished their drinks, or one of the pair pointing out something particularly amusing.

Between comments, Loki often caught Theo singing along, though she did so in a far more discreet manner than anyone else in the venue. Despite Loki’s best attempts to focus on Theo’s voice, the sound was lost in a swell of drums and guitars and other voices. The effort invested into trying to hear Theo successfully distracted Loki from the disdain he held for everything else about his surroundings, though it did nothing to dampen the disappointment when he could not hear her far-more-melodic voice floating through the air. 

Perhaps if Theo was the one singing them, or the one playing the songs on piano, he might enjoy them more.

After far too long, the return of overhead lighting and disappearance of musicians from the stage confirmed that the event had finally drawn to a close. Wrangling the various members of their entourage required a bit of teamwork and effort, but it was not long before the Avengers exited the establishment and felt the blessedly cool air of the city against their skin. 

It did not take long before the Avengers split into smaller groups along the sidewalk, a mixture of varied walking speeds and small conversations naturally pairing certain avengers with others. Maximioff and Barnes led the group, laughing and singing along to themselves as they stumbled along. Close behind, Vision and Wilson kept a close eye on their companions as they chatted with Romanoff and Rogers.

From the back of the group, Loki observed his surroundings while relishing the quiet of night. Quiet, of course, was relative - in a city such as New York, the bustle of traffic remained such a constant that it turned into white noise with due time. Strangers occasionally passed on the sidewalk, barely giving any of the Avengers a second glance as they ventured to mystery destinations in the night. 

Farther ahead, a beggar sat near an alleyway, his back against a dumpster so thoroughly covered in graffiti that it would have been impossible to guess its original color; as groups of people passed without paying the man any mind, Loki couldn’t help but notice the man’s resigned sadness.    

“... You survived.” The comment, clearly directed towards Loki, drew his attention from the beggar, though he did not catch the full remark. 

“Pardon?” As Loki replied, he glanced over to find Theo walking beside him, somehow managing to keep pace despite her much shorter stature.

“So, you survived Emo night,” Theo repeated with a coy grin. “How terrible was it?”

“It is certainly not how I would choose to spend my time,” Loki dryly replied. “Nor is it something I would have expected you to enjoy.”

“Thought I had more cultured taste?” Theo teased, bumping Loki’s hip with hers as they strolled along. 

“Clearly I was mistaken.” Loki chuckled and shook his head. “Tell me you do not subject your actor to such nonsense…” 

“You think I can walk into a bar with him and not be swarmed?” Theo cocked a brow as she looked up at Loki. Despite the amused smirk she wore, something bittersweet lurked beneath her gaze. “Even if he could get in without drawing attention, I think the internet would drag me for bringing him to a place like that.”

“Drag you?” Loki echoed, hoping Theo might clarify what she meant by such a term.

“Chew me out. Chastise me. That sort of thing.” Theo sighed, looking ahead once more. “It’s not exactly a luxury hot spot; I’m guessing Chris’s fans would think this kind of place is beneath him.”

“What would he think?” 

“I couldn’t see him having fun, but I don’t really know,” Theo admitted with such nonchalance that it almost seemed odd. “He seems too happy to really get the appeal.” 

Loki froze in place, struck by Theo’s answer. Yes, Loki had endured hardships that others might not understand, but no one could truly exist without heartache, could they? 

Theo stopped a step ahead and glanced back at Loki. “What?” 

“I–” Loki faltered, grasping for the appropriate response. “Surely he has experienced emotions other than happiness?”

“I mean, sure?” Theo glanced ahead at the rest of the group, then back at Loki. “Look, we don’t really talk about shit like that, but I don’t think he’s ever had a bad thing happen to him. If I ever got the crazy idea to talk to him about a bad day at work, I don’t doubt that he’d listen and try to make me feel better, but I doubt he’d really understand.”

“The more you reveal about your relationship, the less I understand the appeal.” Loki shook his head and started forward once more. “I thought that Midgardians valued love for the emotional connection, and yet you seem all too content to avoid emotions in your courtship with the actor.”

“We connect in other ways.” Theo’s tone held a certain cheekiness to it, which she paired with an equally cheeky grin. “I could tell you about the se–”

“– No, I think I am quite alright –” Loki replied rather sharply, cheeks burning as he forced images of Theo in a compromising position from his mind. The last thing he needed was to linger on such inappropriate thoughts, particularly with another Avenger.

“– Hey, you were the one who said everyone has needs –” Theo pointed out, far too self-satisfied in her response, “I figured you’d get it.”

“I do not need the mundane details to understand the appeal of physical intimacy.” Loki scoffed, rolling his eyes. “I simply do not understand why you bother with the rest of the courtship if you’ve no interest in further commitment.”

Theo did not have an immediate answer; she drew in a breath as if to speak, but remained quiet. 

By that point, the pair had walked far enough that they were about to pass the beggar Loki had previously noticed; at that point, they were close enough that Loki could clearly make out the creases of age and weathered skin, as well as the faint wisps of silver where a once robust head of hair likely sat. The man’s earlier melancholy lingered in Loki’s memory, and sentiment tugged at Loki’s heartstrings, compelling him to do something. 

All it took was a twitch of Loki’s fingers to conjure some cash in hand; if nothing else, Loki figured the man could use the money for a night of shelter and a warm meal. Yet, before Loki had the chance to acknowledge the man, Theo had already greeted the man by name, then crouched down so she was at eye-level before she extended some sort of plastic card to him, saying something Loki didn't quite catch. The man, however, grinned at Theo, his smile highlighting gaps where his teeth had fallen out at some point, before thanking her for her generosity.

Dumbfounded, Loki offered a quick greeting and extended the cash, which the elderly man thanked him for, though it was not with the level of warmth that the man exuded when he spoke to Theo.

The moment they were not within earshot of the man, Loki turned to Theo. “You know him?”

“Before I was an Avenger, I played a lot of shows in this area,” Theo explained with a small shrug. “Greg used to be the janitor at one of the local bars, but since I last saw him, he had to quit because of some health problems that left him unable to work. Between the treatment and the lack of income he couldn’t pay rent and ended up on the streets. 

“I didn’t find out until a couple weeks ago, when I was walking home and I recognized him, so I stopped to talk to him and learned about what happened. I told myself that the next time I saw him, I’d put Tony’s insane bank account to use and give him enough money that he would never have to sleep on the street again, and he wouldn’t have to worry about making ends meet The card has contact info for some people who can help him with the logistics.”

“Awfully generous of you,” Loki remarked.

“Hey, you didn’t even know him, but you still gave a bit of cash too,” Theo pointed out with a soft smile. “Most people would have ignored him.”

“Yes, well, back to our previous conversation–” Uncomfortable with the direction with which Theo took his remark, Loki quickly diverted the conversation. “–You never answered my question.”

“What question?” Theo glanced at Loki as they rounded the corner, Avengers Tower stretching into the sky ahead of them.

“Why bother with a courtship if you have no intention of pursuing a serious relationship?”

 “You’re reading too much into this,” Theo laughed nervously as she shook her head. “It’s not that I refuse to be in a serious relationship - I just like to go with the flow.”

Yet, contrary to what Theo said, a familiar melancholy in Theo’s eye said otherwise - the same melancholy he caught when Theo sang, ‘the first thing that I do when I walk in is find a way out for when shit gets bad, and / I’ve been looking for tears in the screen door / and I’ve been waiting for another disaster…’

That look in Theo’s eye told Loki everything he needed to know.

We don't know what we're doing Let's do it again, yeah, you know We're just amateur lovers With amateur friends I can tell you what you're thinking now Before you think it you can settle down Our lovin' isn't gonna burn us out We don't know what we're doing Let's do it again Yeah, let's do it again

[maybe-a-gatto-or-a-catto]

One thing that I realized is, is that everything will end one day. Even the things that you enjoy... but that also means all the negative things will pass. One day the terrible memories will exist in the far past. One day...

The conversation with your friend, the things that saved you, the things you thought, the things that made you cry, the bedroom you sleep in.

Is it scary to me? Or is it the truth? Do I cry thinking about the past? No, not anymore. That Innocent child is gone... Do I grieve the people I met and will never see again? The ones that lost their lives? I suppose.

That day I was lonely, that day I played Roblox with music looped for 10 hours. That day I found myself in a new school. That day I found myself bullied and alone. I cried and I cried. But in the back of my mind... I knew it would pass. So I had to hold on.

I moved to a new school. I'm 16 now. Once I was a small child, but 9 years old drawing in an atelier. Back then, I didn't think about the future. But now my future is visible, and it's breaking down.

I don't know why anything happens.

But I do know the present.

So why am I wasting time writing a tumblr post? Perhaps I'm just uncertain about the world.

One day I will be in a small kitchen making myself a sandwich.

Will I still see you then? Will I share my thoughts with you? Maybe I should cry right now. Cry about the past, present and future. Why am I crying at all? What for?

Thank you, for listening. I'm in tears... I just wish for comfort, that I made a difference in your life and that in the end you're (still) there.

[yourfavoriteskeleton]

VENT.

Tw : $h , a^a, b1ng3 3ating,

This is also an apology.

I wanna say I'm sorry to everybody who follows me. I feel like I haven't been honest after tonight. I am so ashamed to say, but I b1ng3d. And I was doing so good to I didn't 3at yesterday. I at3 about 1500 calories of sandwiches and chocolates and I was so stuffed. I even almost convinced myself out of it but I've been dizzy because of my low iron and I've been feeling weak all day and I'm skating tomorrow and I convince myself that I couldn't be dizzy at skating. I use Tumblr as kind of a diary and I want to be honest with you guys about my 3ating so that's why I'm saying it even though I don't want to. I can't stop crying and I purg3d but I don't feel like it did much and I $h to get rid of the pa1n and gui1t I felt about it but it didn't work much. What makes this so bad it that this morning I was only 1 p0und away from my first gw and I'm so terrified of ga1n1ng w3ight especially so close. I hat3 mys3lf again and i was so happy earlier and this week. The reason why I want to say sorry is because I feel like a fr@ud not just with my 3d but I think I had to high of hopes for myself. I kept making posts saying how when I "used" to b1ng3 and even posted about how good my s3lf control is and discipline. I posted how I was 50 hours into a 164 hour fa$t And I was in fact 50 hours in of what I wanted to be a 164 hour fa$t but honestly I've never gone more than 3 days without 3ating no matter how hard I tried to. And I knew I was lying to myself. I even made a post about how I'm tired but I'm not f@t anymore so I'm going to do two workouts because my discipline is good but I did one and my b0dy hurt way too much and I just couldn't get myself to do another. I've had people comment saying I'm cool or their jealous and I feel like such a fraud. I'm sorry I'll do better but I feel like I just need to share with y'all.

[molsno]

yesterday, I did shrooms for the first time. I wasn't really that sure what to expect. I take weed gummies every week, and I have experienced some psychogenic effects from them in the past, so I thought that they would be somewhat comparable, but they're really not. I wanted to write about my experience and organize my thoughts, so I tried to go into as much detail as possible. this post is very long, so I've put it under a read more.

first of all, I took them via capsule. I don't handle strong, bitter tastes very well, and I'd heard that's what they tasted like, so my girlfriend and I ground them up into a fine dust and packed them into pills. I ended up taking 6 pills, for a total of 1.8 grams of shrooms. I ate light beforehand since I knew nausea might be a problem. I just had a simple cheese and salami sandwich and then swallowed the pills.

it took a while for them to take effect, and I was a little anxious to find out how I would react. that said, I was in a pretty good mood yesterday - I had just had a job interview that I thought went really well, so I'd been feeling a little better than usual. normally I'm quite pessimistic, but I knew that going into a trip with a negative mindset would make for a bad experience, so I tried not to stress over it too much.

the effects were mild at first. my pupils began to dilate, and the ceiling looked as though it was tilting and rotating. the popcorn pattern had the illusion that it was sliding to the left as I stared at it, which made me giggly. based on what I'd heard, I thought that I would start having stronger visual distortions, and maybe even some hallucinations. that wasn't the case. I'd taken a milder strain of shrooms - golden teacher. and I was about to learn just how fitting that name was.

slowly, I started tearing up. I wasn't sure why it was happening at first; I thought it was just because I'd had my eyes open for a long time. but soon enough, the floodgates burst. the world fully opened up to me, and before I knew it, I couldn't stop crying tears of pure, unrestrained joy.

it's difficult to describe what it felt like, so let me give you some context. for the past 6 months, I've been unemployed since being laid off from my job, and I've been struggling to hold it together emotionally as things continue to fall apart around me. recently, every day has made me question whether or not life was even worth living. I've felt powerless to help myself as the horrors of capitalism continue to push me down and break my spirit. I've felt alienated from my friends, especially as many of them have left me and the friends I hold dear. and due to my aforementioned powerlessness, I felt as if it was impossible for me to truly help the people I care about as much as I want to, even when they're going through horrible crises, especially because of my own fears holding me back.

in an instant, all of that changed. I can honestly say I've never felt happier in my life than I did yesterday. I approached the window, which extends from floor to ceiling, and put my hands against it as I looked out. the sky was overcast, but the world had never seemed so bright. as I listened to the album "nurture" by porter robinson, I looked down at the city, watching all of the people walking around, and it dawned on me that like all of them, I'm just another person in this wide world.

it can be difficult for me to understand that, because being a marginalized trans woman living under a capitalist regime makes me feel so insignificant. but in reality, I'm connected to every single organism who's ever lived on this planet, and in that moment, I felt like I really understood what it means to be human.

in our industrialized society, it can be all too easy to downplay the significance of nature, to see it as less important than us, or in the worst cases, to see it as an obstacle to our survival. but that's simply not true! humans aren't separate from nature; we're just another part of it. even in a concrete jungle made by human and mechanical hands, nature surrounds us, we just have to know where to look.

sure, nature can be dangerous. there are plants, animals, and fungi that can easily kill us if we don't know what we're doing, if we don't respect their needs and desires. but humans survived for all of these millions of years by helping each other, by teaching each other, and by loving each other. even in the harshest conditions, we're incredibly resilient due to our eagerness to care for one another.

with tears still streaming down my face, I couldn't hold myself back from telling the people I care about how happy I was to know them and how much I love them, and how happy I was to be alive. for the first time in a long, long time, I felt genuine hope. I truly felt that no matter what happens, everything will turn out alright.

incidentally, I really wanted to go for a walk outside, but my girlfriend advised me not to, both because she was worried about my safety, and because there were too many people out there, and I was very obviously tripping. I think she made the right call this time, as I have no idea how a stranger would have reacted when I inevitably approached them with tears streaming down my face and told them how beautiful the world is. still, I believe that going for a walk through the park on shrooms some time would be really enjoyable. perhaps one day I can, when I have more experience and I'm in a less populated area.

in any case, I genuinely believe that these mushrooms were communicating with me. sure, we bought these from a company, meaning they were probably grown in a lab or some other artificial environment, but mushrooms just like these exist all over the world. they wanted to teach me to appreciate the natural environments they originated from. if I truly took their lesson to heart, if I researched and studied hard enough, if I learned how to reliably and consistently identify the organisms that exist in the world around me, it would be possible for me to go to a forest and safely identify mushrooms like these growing in the wild, where I could just pick them and eat them freely.

is it naive for me to believe that they intended to teach me that? maybe, but I don't think so. I would say I'm overall a skeptical person, but after this experience, I don't think it's fair for me to discount their intelligence. we may be different, but we're ultimately both organisms that exist on this earth together, and we all share a common ancestor. I'm no mycologist, but there are fungi out there that know how to take control of an ant's body and use it to spread their spores. I think it's fair to believe that they're intelligent enough to communicate with humans in their own way. that's why I think that golden teacher is the perfect name for them.

soon enough, the peak of my trip began to fade, and I stopped crying. I eventually got a headache, but I still felt wonderful. I ate some oreos and drank a glass of milk, then laid down for a while and processed my thoughts in silence.

after some time, I started to feel tired, and even a bit nauseous. I wanted to hold it in, but after an hour or so, it only grew stronger, so I rushed to the restroom and threw up. I hadn't been prepared for the nausea - I heard that it would usually only take effect about an hour into the trip, but mine didn't hit me until several hours after it had ended. although my stomach felt better, my head still hurt. despite being exhausted, I found myself unable to sleep. I stayed awake for hours. 2 am came to pass, then 3 am, then 4 am. at some point, I think I did fall asleep, as I remember having some dreams, but it was a very light sleep, and wasn't continuous at all. as I write this, I'm still very tired. I think I'm going to take melatonin tonight to help me sleep.

during my trip, I wanted to feel the euphoria I'd been feeling forever. but as it faded, I realized I don't need to. and in fact, I actually didn't want to; feeling so much joy was actually very overwhelming! it's difficult for me to convey just how strong the emotions I felt were, and having so many revelations in such a brief period of time was overly taxing on my brain. not to mention, throwing up and being unable to sleep was pretty unpleasant.

these mushrooms were never going to solve my problems or cure the emptiness I've felt inside, and it would be disrespectful toward them to ask them to do that. rather, they taught me how to obtain happiness for myself. they taught me to find value in the world around me, to pay attention to the nature that surrounds me in my day to day life, to be proactive and vulnerable with the people I care about, and to remember my place in the world. if I want to feel this joy, I have to put these lessons into practice, and work to make the world a better place for everyone. and I'm going to try my best do just that.

while I'd love to do this again (ideally with a bit more preparation), it's not something I can take for granted. I'm really glad I got to have this experience. I feel like it changed me for the better, and I want to do for the world what these mushrooms did for me. ❤️

[rogertaylorshbb]

"studio stress" roger Taylor x reader fanfic [part 1]

hey, I just wanna say sorry if the ending of this part is sloppy to anyone, I wrote on half of it yesterday, and I was writing the other half today but I was eating spicy noodles at the same time lol. anyway hope you enjoy this and part 2 will be posted soon!!

You pulled up slowly in front of the studio parking outside. You were dreading going inside.  It has been a stressful week for you. You were so tired, sleeping less than 4 hours last night doing large amounts of paperwork and having to work the night shift at your other job.

You weighed your head down between your arms on the steering wheel, your eyes began to swell “dont cry dont cry, don't cry” you whispered to yourself whipping your cheeks with your sleeve. You looked in your car mirror, you hoped that when you went in the studio no-one would notice your red eyes and puffy cheeks. 

You shuffled into the studio seeing brian at a desk. “Oh hey y/n” he waved. You smiled shyly and walked towards Freddie with some printed lyrics. “Here- I- printed them last night for you” you said, slurring your words together like a drunk.

“Thank you” freddie beamed while taking a sip of his coffee. “Ok everyone lets record!”.

John walked over to you handing you a little cup of hot, black coffee, “here, looks like you need it”. “Thanks John, I do” you laughed, falling back into a chair. 

You couldn't bear to sit in that studio next to the producer while they were recording. The loud beat of the drums, the screeching of Brian's guitar, and John's repetitive bass playing. Your pounding headache and sensitive ears couldn't take it so you tapped the producer on the shoulder and told him you were gonna go outside for a break.

You sat outside on the scrub, dropping your head on your knees, your arms resting on your head. You could almost fall asleep but you knew you would get in trouble and just look useless and that the band would probably fire you.

After what seemed 10 minutes you heard footsteps coming towards you. 

“Hey, you ok” Roger asked sitting down next to you. 

You lifted your head up “yea, just- very stressed”.

“Oh well, I'm here if you want to talk,” he assured, placing his hand on your back. 

“Thanks roger but i don't want to annoy you with my problems you should focus on the band” you nodded at him. 

“You're just as important as the band y/n” he smiled. “Doubt it” you blushed, shaking your head. You and Roger talked for a bit, and Roger ended up rambling about his childhood cat.

“Anyway” he sighed. He stood up taking a deep breath and held out his hand “cmon, i'll let you try out the drums”.

You took his hand as he pulled you up, you stumbled a bit when you got on your feet, lucky he was there to make sure you didn't fall.

You both strolled into the studio and were a bit confused when none of the band was there. 

Only one of the guys that worked there was there. “Um hey, where is everybody?” Roger asked. 

“Oh they all went up to that fancy place up the street, they said they would be back in a bit” Mark said grabbing his jacket “I'm off my shift now though, make sure to close the lights if you guys wanna leave. 

Roger stumped his foot and shook his head “why didn't they come get us?! Idiots”. 

“Haha, it doesn't matter, I always pack my own lunch anyway” you chuckled, reaching for your handbag pulling out a sandwich. 

“Here, you can have half,” you said, handing him one half. “No no, it's ok” he waved his hands softly. 

You both sat down on the couch and you asked Roger to tell you a funny story about his childhood while you ate. “Funny? I don't think I have a lot of funny ones, annoying ones and ones of me throwing tantrums that probably made my mum wish she never had children, sure”. 

‘Well, go on!” 

Roger told you about some stories of him and his little sister. You nearly choked on your sandwich from laughing “woah woah, don't choke '' he laughed.

You claimed yourself down. 

“So, you were really a trouble maker huh?” 

“Uh huh” he smirked, stretching his arm out over the couch. 

@sarcastic-sourwolf

[smallpawedbear]

Just as the sun sets

Arven x male reader romantic fluff

FIRST FAN FIC POST 😰😰

……….

A long walk back from titan hunting, reader and arven look for a place to set up camp, both are tired which leads to a relaxing night which just keeps getting better by the second.

……….

User goes by first person pronouns (i,me,we,myself) and he/him, reasoning for such is i don’t see a lot of male reader writes, if anyone wants it i’m open to switching out for gn pronouns. Arven calls reader little buddy and bud, reader has a small stature compared to Arvens taller figure.

Reader cooking, shy Arven, hopeless and cringe romance, slow moving fic, First person pov, slight use of swear words, VERY SLIGHT suggestive themes emphasis on very slight, crushing, silent confession, sharing sleeping bag?, cuddles, undefined relationship

ps this ended up way longer than i intended.

alternating pov - Arven ➡️ reader

———————————————————————

why does the way the sun pollutes his eyes, the way he squints as we walk foward in the forest, and the way he looks back at me with wide eyes since i walk opposite the sun, why does it make me feel so… crazy? happy? insane? … arceus now my face is just red.

———————————————————————

I looked back at Arven, squinting hard barely able to see. Is he okay? his face is all red, probably sun burned because he didn’t let me put an extra layer of sunscreen on his sensitive face. Either that or an allergic reaction to the herba mystica that he cooked with earlier which ended up spraying him in the eyes and making him cry like he was cutting onions.

I raised my eyebrows opening my eyes wide and letting them relax at the sight of Arven, looking back at him and away from the sun gave my eye’s temporary relief as the world came back into view. Varying bird pokémon chirped at us from the swaying trees as we passed and the wind kept blowing Arven’s bangs from his face, which he always pushed back down, The sun was really attacking me now as it was threatening to set behind the mountains before we made it to camp. You could even hear feint chiming music playing from the sky begging us to settle in for the night. Our leading pokémon had started the walk with us but all ended up tapping out and returning to their balls like ‘raidon about halfway along the trail. Now it was just us, legs tired, hot, eyes burned, and about to collapse on the ground, Thankfully we haven’t yet.

“Picnic break?” Arven chimes from behind me, “for desert this time, you can cook…”

he knew my weakness, letting me make desert after a whole day of assisting his sandwich making.

“you got me there, deal.” I grin back at him, before tripping weirdly as i stopped the walking pace, standing felt like getting out of water after swimming for awhile and still feel like floating, except it felt like the world was still moving past us. I longed to keep going to camp, but knew a break was probably best.

———————————————————————

I set down my back pack, the wind was finally settling after being over the top annoying and messing up my hair over and over and over again. The sun and sky were orange which signified that we would probably end up walking into the night, but i had full confidence it would be worth it since my little buddy made an absolutely to die for desert.

He was unpacking a picnic blanket from my backpack and rolling it out onto the even grass, both of us pulling it back up and tugging from the corners to straighten it out. Sadly we went from walking in silence to setting up in silence, and honestly the nature noises were deafening, it made me feel like he could sense my thoughts and that it made him think i was actually crazy for staring into his eyes like that earlier. I don’t know why i’m like this, it’s like i’ve never ever had a friend before with the way i’m acting…. which at this point might even be true.

I caught sight of a yellow flower beneath the tarp as I readjusted it just one more time and panicked thinking we had set up right on top of a floette, thankfully we hadn’t and i glanced apon a bright yellow dandelion. I plucked it and held it up to the setting sun seeing them match up before i pushed it into the water bottle pocket of my bag letting it stick out.

———————————————————————

Arven was starting to freak me out. He’s been silent this whole time and continuing to shoot me short glances before realizing he pinned his hair behind his ear as he quickly pushes it back infront of his face. It was funny seeing him experience this inner turmoil with himself and i was dying to know what was going on inside his head. He clearly wasn’t upset though, i caught him smiling to himself as a plucked a small flower from the grass. If he wanted time in silence, he’s get time in silence. And by silence i mean without direct conversation because there’s absolutely nothing stopping me from playing a little music while horribly singing and dancing to it.

I had my rotom phone float around us while playing popular upbeat songs, this caught Arven by suprise as he almost drops the plates and spoons when rotom swerves by him. He just stared back at me, face red again. What’s embarrassing him really?

———————————————————————

In the middle of silence his rotom phone speeds by my face playing the singing voice of a women that i cant quite pinpoint. I was zoning out while overthinking my obsession with why i’m acting this way towards my best friend and was extremely embarrassed when i almost shattered every single plate we had. Which for some reason were glass instead of plastic because i thought they’d be nice to have tonight.

I was watching my bud dance with one hand in the air as he used the other to pick up prepared cakes and frosting, followed by fruit. He was yelling out the lyrics which he did not know at all, but still he refrained from directly talking to me.

———————————————————————

It was time for me to prepare my dish now. Arven finally set down plates and utensils, and i had gotten all my foods ready.

I started by slicing prepared mini vanilla cakes into three slices each, followed by thinly slicing the assorted fruits (mostly pecha berries) into half circles. I was about ready to put the easy sweet together but took a moment to stop swaying my hips to the music and to put down the knife to invite Arven over. His silence is over for now, desert is ready.

“Arven, unless you’re having an interesting conversation with the setting sun right now, i have something for you.”

He rolled his eyes hurrying over to me, which i then handed him a spoon and plopped a bit of whipped cream i had made earlier in the day onto it.

“Just taste a bit, i’m not sure if it survived the walk since it looks a bit flat and i trust your judgment.”

“if you insist.” He replied before popping the whole thing into his mouth and closing his eyes. His face reddened more, arceus i hope he’s not having an allergic reaction to this too.

Before he responded with his rating on the frosting i looked at him and studied his face more. I could feel my face reddening too, why did he look so perfect with his face flushed, with his bangs thrown back again which he had yet to notice and which i don’t plan on telling him about. Shit this is not happening, i can feel my heart in my chest, i hadn’t spoken to him the whole walk, and i really haven’t gotten to look at him this close all day, why was he being distant? I wanted to see him closely more often. The music was muted in my head, i was so focused i can even see the scab on his forehead from when a flying pokémon skimmed his head last week.

“ten out of ten and perfection, i don’t think it lost anything from the walk.”

“huh?”

“The whipped cream…?”

Shit i was lost.

———————————————————————

Even though i closed my eyes i could feel him examining my face. He could definitely see i was red, and the redness just wouldn’t go away. Something about this whole day has felt different, and i think i’m starting to discover the reason why.

As always, his desert was timeless and perfect and it wasn’t even done, he had just had me taste the whip cream.

“ten out of ten and perfection, i don’t think it lost anything from the walk.” I state, opening my eyes to a world slightly darker than earlier, it felt odd speaking to him but also nice after i’d been holding back all day.

“huh?” He had a dazed look on his face, hopeful thinking would make me feel like he was experiencing similar thoughts to mine but i really don’t think i have much of that mind set left.

“The whipped cream…” i replied, chuckling to myself but eventually the chuckle made me want to gag myself with the spoon seeing my buds face redden even more.

“crap yeah yeah i got lost for a second, thanks for testing it even if you could’ve died from food poisoning.”

I stood behind him now, watching over his shoulder as he assembled cakes onto the plates. A layer of cake, cream, fruit, repeat. He did this three times for both our cakes before he did the same for our pokémon in smaller portions and in bowls.

Somehow the sun has still stayed in the sky, i notice as i release my pokémon to the picnic area and watch as my bud swats at his phone in the sky. legs tired i finally flop down onto the ground laying all the way down and just looking up to the orange sky shaded by overhanging green trees.

A second figure joins sitting up next to me on the blanket and just placing a plate on top of my torso. I look sideways to see my friend lowering his phone volume and picking up a fork.

———————————————————————

i honestly have no idea how the music got so loud, i panicked as i sat down and heard the high volume. I made sure it was quiet because Arven quiet honestly looked exhausted, i’m also really starting to think he actually is sunburned at it wasn’t him being flustered.

A quick breeze rushed in pushing me back slightly and pulling loud tattering noises from the surrounding trees.

Arven pushes himself up from the ground after moving his plate. I see his bangs away from his face again and he goes to push them infront of his eye again.

“Hey you should keep it there, it’s nice seeing your face.” I say shyly with a grin, blushing so slightly that i actually dont notice i was blushing until i get a reaction from him.

“Wow i knew it, you’ve just been so obsessed with looking at both of my eyes today then haven’t you.” He exclaims probably louder than he meant to, but dear arceus it made my thoughts worse. He ended off with a low chuckle and i honestly can’t put up with this. By this i mean this feeling that i might want to mean more than just a travel buddy or best friend, and maybe the fact that he wants that too.

———————————————————————

This time we weren’t sitting in silence. He turned up his music volume again and we ate our cakes alongside our pokémon. He kept pointing out when he saw a rufflet pass in the sky which brought up a phantom stinging on the scab present on my forehead. I will admit, i’d never thought my hair was that threatening to a small bird pokémon, and i geuss my little buddy had to remind me about it day and night since one swooped down to interrupt a previous walk.

We finished eating quickly so we could return to the walk and find a place to sleep for the night before dark.

We started to pack up just as quickly as we unpacked, except a few of our larger pokémon stayed to help out. Before i pulled my bag up and onto my bag i pulled my water bottle from its pocket and handed it to my bud, as he seemed especially parched, he denied the drink but i insisted, seriously now his face was as red as mine, i think he needed it. I watched as he looked up sipping from my water, why did watching him this way feel different, watching him at all today felt different. a thought i’ve been pushing down for weeks maybe even months now pushing its way back to the front of my brain. I don’t want him to just be my little buddy, or my best friend.

———————————————————————

Handing back Arvens water, i watch as he whistles and rounds up the remainder of his pokémon while heaving his bag back onto him. I see dropped on the floor the yellow flower he picked from earlier. After staring at it for a second I kneel to pick it up from the patch of grass smushed by his heavy bag. And continuing our walk we go conversing about the most random things we can think of, just wanting to hear eachothers voice. A slight flirting occurs back and forth but i could honestly be making this feeling up.

The walk doesn’t last much longer, just under 30 minutes as we settle down under a safety checked overhanging cliff. It hung low to the ground and shaped a corner with surrounding rocks, creating a cosy cave home like corner.

The sky shines a glowing pink over our camp area as it rapidly falls to the ground.

I start setting out some lanterns to keep the light when the sun fully sets. Due to the pokédex, we should be safe here from any hostile pokémon. The swaying trees also aren’t as loud here and arven isn’t being antagonized by birds, so i’d say it’s the perfect spot.

“Tent and sleeping bags or just sleeping bags?” Arven taps me on the shoulder to ask. I take a moment to think about what would be more beautiful for the site, less about warmth honesty.

“I think we can get away with just the sleeping bags tonight, we found a perfect spot and i think it would be relaxing.”

“Oh thank arceus i was honestly not up to wrestling the tent tonight.”

“works out for us both then, i just want to be able to see outside.”

Arven reaches into his bag to get out our two sleeping bags. And by two sleeping bags i mean sleeping bag. Arven has packed one sleeping bag.

———————————————————————

Well that’s that.

“I can settle for laying on mabosstiff.” I say after a long pause as we just look at the lonely roll of cushion. “i’ll be fine i don’t want you sleeping on the raw stone floor.”

The wind stopped blowing as if it was listening to us work this out.

“well yeah you act like i’ll let YOU sleep on the floor, mabosstiff or not.”

Another even longer pause.

We both go to speak again but just talk over each other and pause again. Rotom pauses the music.

“How about we share it?” I propose quietly.

I look down at my bud and see him staring up at me, red face wide eyes and he makes my face end up looking exactly the same.

“Well, sure fine but kick me out in the middle of the night if you need, i understand it’s like your sleeping bag.” He says rubbing at the back of his neck, which is also flushed pink.

“Yeah i wouldn’t do that even if i needed to pull the sleeping bag over my head to hide from a rufflet.” I hear him snort loudly in an amused laughing tone, like he was holding in a laugh and it forced its way out of his nose.

———————————————————————

We agreed to share the one sleeping bag we packed, which honestly is my fault since Arven remembered his and i didn’t, but whatever works. We stripped of our jackets and vests, plopping down the bag, and turning off all the lanterns except one right by our bed for the night. We stayed in our day clothes since they consisted of baggy button ups, and we both opted for solid color sweats and shorts, we were dressed for the night.

Finally here we were. Arven layed down first on his side opposite the zipper and gestured me to hop in. Honestly i was reluctant, so many feelings were brought up today that i wasn’t sure i would make it through the night without exploding into a bunch of little pieces. I’ll manage.

I plopped down right next to him, my back to the zipper and facing him. Honestly we had more room than i anticipa-

He wrapped his arm around my torso and pulled me in as he reached for the zipper behind me.

“shi-“

“what? sorry are you okay did the zip pinch you?.”

“shit no no it’s fine it just kinda… idk closed in the space.”

He noticed his arm was wrapped around my lower back and he quickly let go, i saw his face go red. Maybe i haven’t been making up the fact that he might want more too.

In a time of awkwardness i dove my sky facing hand into my pocket. In it i actually felt something, and i pulled it out. It was the yellow flower from earlier, somehow it’s not smushed and still bright yellow. I just looked up at Arven, and by looked up i mean looked up, i was just about reaching his chest in this sleeping bag that i could suffocate if i leaned foward in the wrong way.

Ignoring that possibility, and also ignoring the fact that he was taller than me made me extremely flustered, i reached my hand up and just put the flower behind his exposed ear and pinned his bangs back with it. I think he could be right about me being obsessed with seeing both his eyes.

———————————————————————

Closing my eyes so i could safe myself from saying anything stupid was interrupted when i felt a hand come up and push the hair out of my face and pin something behind my ear. I opened my eyes again to see his eyes wide looking up into mine, this time they glowed with the lantern light instead of the blinding sun, and they looked up at me wondrously. I feel like neither of us have stopped being unhealthily red since we set off on this quest but i’m seeing the reason. We looked at eachothers eyes in the same way, more than just eye contact, we saw each other in those eyes, and we wanted to be able to see more than just a buddy there.

I reached up to touch what was pinning my hair up,

“Is that the-?”

“yeah, it fell out of your bag when you grabbed the water, it’s uhm… it’s really pretty.”

“this is going to sound stupid but if reminded me of the way the sun reflected in your eyes earlier, when the sun was extra bright. It looked like a bloom of yellow.”

I don’t know why i said that, why did i say that?

“I- you cant just say that and-“ He started, but he just burying his face in his hands.

———————————————————————

Dear Arceus- Arven has absolutely the stupidest way to say things that are so absolutely flirty in the most unintentional way. Or maybe it was intentional- all i know was that as i buried my face into my hands, i felt him grab me by the waist again and pull me up closer to his face.

With a slight hesitation i wrapped my arms around him and pulled myself into the crook of his neck. I heard him gasp in my arms before he wrapped his arms around my lower back intentionally this time.

This time there was a comfortable and wanted silence. We layed there in eachothers arms absolutely exhausted from the excessive walking. Rotom never unpaused the music, the harsh wind never continued, and thankfully we were not antagonized by any bird pokémon at all. The world was silent besides our in sync breathing, our hand rubbing against eachothers bodies and faces comfortably.

It felt right this time, we felt right.

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if you read this far… thank you!

I really enjoyed this write, and i hope other people do too. I wanted the end to keep you thinking and imagining, the story isn’t over.

Also if anything was missing of didn’t make sense then it didn’t copy paste correctly from my notes and i apologize 🙏

[nani-nonny]

Tbh, never thought a new chapter would be dropped and you dropped it without any hints that there may be a new chapter soon xD tho it was a great surprise.

So we start off as Leonardo begin hungry and believe me, this so canon! After begin sick and in bef for days? You gotta go hungry at one point! And it made me giggle at how Mikey and them were doing the funny stare off contest xD

The moment Mikey left to get his family i knew his sandwich is as good as gone to F!Leo's stomach 😂 if i were him i would have enough shame to apologize or ask for somebody to make for me something 😭

And baby Lou under him begging for that lettuce was just heart melting 🥺🥺 i saw it and immediately went "JUST GIVE HER THE LETTUCE DAMN IT!!" Ahahaha!✨🤍

Finally after finishing the sandwich Mikey return to see what only left which it's bread crumbs and i can imagine Mikey doing this meme

And finally after so much prolonging things AFTER 9 chapters!!! F!Leo is gonna speak of everything and explain! (Btw, April entering the medbey with bag as her shield and pen as her weapon was silly if i were her i would have 3 pens and look like Wolforin😂)

And i wasn't wrong thinking after the explanation little Leo would be guilty (as he should/aff/p), after all he was the one who lost the key and almost get everyone in the same fate the elder had to go through. So it wasn't a surprise to see them all cry and hug each other for comfort (and for Donnie to slip out of the hug shirty because this isn't for his emotional bad boy image).

And here comes the moment "You ARE the father!!" I never thought you would use the "Maury show" as a reference 😂😂🤩 i personally love it and i also watched multiple videos of the show before.

And this... THUS shocked me

Leo was having the... You know *ahem* love making...

Also whoever said the 'Never speak to me again' is a pure asshole! Am glad they died in the war!! >:((

Then there's the big think about draxum (lol loved how he's trying to take care of him beauty) But seeing baby Lou knowing him is making me imagine F!Draxum begin so happy to have baby lou.

I don't know if i said this before (maybe i did in the very first ask that created baby tot and peepaws) but i feel draxum created baby lou because he couldn't be in the kids's lifes or be part of fatherhood because he started bonding for like what? a year? And then BAM! Apocalypse! Surely he wanted to take care of the baby tho i feel this wasn't the real reason... Maybe creating a real warrior to help winning the war (a side plan from F!Draxum he went with).

In my defense! The “teaser” came out as snippets and vague posts about how the writing process was going hehe (I think the most recent “teaser” was a vague post about F!Leo spiraling lol) but I believe the best teaser was a vague post prior to posting the chapter about the word count going from 3.4k to 4.1k! (I don’t think you saw those hehe)

Anyways! Chapter review from sniper, yippee!!!

Poor Mikey lol all he wanted was a sandwich but instead he was shocked to see Leonardo’s awake and standing at the doorway with the baby and CJ just as surprised to see him

Baby Lou is hungry, growing little girlie! She wants what her papa is eating, especially because it must be good if he’s scarfing it down hahaha!

rip Mikey’s sandwich, it didn’t last a second with Leonardo lol

April ready to fight when the portal pops up makes me laugh, she knows hahaha! You can count on her to back you up

Poor Lil Leo, forced to realize he may be just as much as a jerk as his future self is, and maybe there wasn’t that big of a change. And maybe… just maybe… he wasn’t exactly right about Leonardo being a total assface. Lol

I thought about different ways Donnie would break it to Leonardo that the baby is indeed his, but this route was much funnier. And faster lol. And I think it’s very on brand for Donnie hahah! Maybe I’ll post a snippet of how it would have gone in a different route… i don’t know.

And I love the memes that come from the Maury show! Although, I’ve never watched an episode except for small clips. The cameramen run really fast haha!

I don’t usually include my peepaws’ love lives so blatantly like (a)paf, mainly because I don’t really see them all that sexually active. Sometimes I like to think that, despite being absolute heartthrobs and “most wanted bachelors”, them being virgins makes it all the more funny. (That and I don’t have interest in writing sexual themes with the turtles… Bruce on the other hand /hj)

But in (a)paf’s case, I didn’t want anyone thinking he truly is a deadbeat dad who got knocked up and tosses a kid aside or, vice versa where he knocks someone else up and tosses a kid aside. He simply wasn’t aware of what Draxum was doing behind closed doors.

But aside from that, I think it’s nice that he got some experience in sex. He’s a big man, he can take part in carnal pleasures.

And about the person who said not to meet again… that was Leonardo. Lol. One night stand wasn’t as good as it could have been haha! On a side note, a lot of his one night stands were understandable agreements that no relation of any sort other than business was to be expected.

Anyways, again, Draxum deserves to feel pretty :) he got a face mask from April’s mom! He definitely wasn’t expecting any Hamato-related shenanigans, he just wanted a peaceful night to himself hahaha!

And Baby Lou so delighted to see Draxum? :(((( she’s such a cutie patootie :((((

And I like your theory! Totally understandable to think that! Now the real question is whether you’re right or not mwahahahaha! I wonder….

[demigods-posts]

Reasons Why The Day I Got Expelled from The Lightning Theif musical is an amazing song:

1.) "Well, they don't pay attention to you either...especially if you're their kid 😒😒" like, the shade lol

2.) "Yeah, the Gods are real, and they have kids, and those kids have ✨issues✨" BAHAHA

3.) "You never listen to me...but now you're gonna listen 'cause it's time you heard our side of the story😤😤" like, yes, it is time.

4.) "LOOK...i didn't want to be a half-blood" ahhhh it's directly quotes the book 😫😫😫

5.) "She threw a peanut butter sandwich at YOU. I stopped it with my head🤓" I love Grover so much

6.) "I knew something was up when I heard my name get yelled." "The day it all went down." "I saw something odd is Mrs. Dodd's frown." "The day it all got weird." I love how this section breaks away from the 'the day I got expelled' motif and in the most ominous way because this is the day the moment Percy's life changed forever and he almost died and he's twelve years old and how fucking scary would it be to see this happen?? I hope the TV adaptation does this scene justice.

7.) "It was only a matter of time before-" "I got kicked out?" "That's not what I was going to-" "You think I'm trouble just like everyone else?" This makes my heart ache bc all Percy wants is someone to believe in and be proud of him, and in the books, we see that he does try to be a good student, a good kid, for Mr. Brunner, but one slip-up (that wasn't his fault) and the teacher he looks up to is disappointed in him. poor percy 💔

8.) "...I'll see you on the bus.." the moment of silence after this line is unbelievable. letting the reality of life-threatening monsters and gaslighting hit because they clearly didn't want him to know about this (bc the more he knows, the more dangers he's in, but he doesn't know that). like, shit's immaculate.

9.) "So, if you think you are a half-blood, better get headed to the exits now, 'cause folks will think you're lying. Better run, and don't start crying 'cause you're monster chow." oh, he is bitter and he has every right to be.

10.) "Nobody listens to me! They never listen! They never listen to me! They never listen, oh!" honestly, this line was the reason this post exists because what an amazing call back to the beginning of this song AND to books. he's right. no one listens to him and no one listens to demigods. and this line is in a musical about a story where demigods finally tell their side of the story. this moment doesn't get talked about enough.

11.) "Dude, you got expelled (I didn't want to be a half-blood)! Expelled (I didn't ask to be a half-blood)! Expelled!" I love how as their talking over him, reminding him of all of his faults, he's just screaming that he didn't fucking want this. he didn't want to be a hero, or save the world, or fight in a war. he just wants to be alive and safe, as do all half-bloods.

This started out as me commenting on one line in a song, but I, honestly, might do commentary on every song in this musical because it is so good!

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