#i needed to shake things up a bit
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not "i ship these characters" or "i want them to bond platonically" but a secret 3rd thing (I want them to be forced to interact by the Narrative bc they would HATE that)
#who needs romance when i can watch two narrative foils painfully tolerate each other's existence#bonus points if they are forced to Work Together To Solve A Problem#and they end up working surprisingly well together!#they make a surprisingly effective team!#they even confide some backstory with each other & bond a bit & understand each other better#and when it's all over they shake hands & amicably agree that they still cannot fucking stand each other#'this was an interesting sidequest & I'm glad we got to experience it.#but all things considered i genuinely never want to see your face again'#Enemies to Chained-Up-In-An-Abandoned-Bathroom-Together#to Enemies#two stray cats forced to share a cat carrier for a trip to the vet
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maybe I’ve just totally gone off the deep end but the fact that I can see (1) his thigh and (2) that bit of skin on the back of his shoulder is literally creating a sexual tornado in the kansas of my heart
#GUYS I’M#this is SO HOT IT’S SO HOT#i don’t even care that he’s wearing like 2847538 layers of clothes#it’s probably better that way because if he were even slightly more naked than he is. i’d be dead#he could run me through with his sword anyday i swear#look at the IINTENSITY#look at the SNARL#the fierceness in battle and the grit of determination to stay alive#he’s got me clenching my legs biting my lip giving him the most inviting look possible#HAHSHFHFHSHSJSJDJF his FOREARMS THOUGH#i need to be gripping those in the heat of passion#in this picture he looks like he could growl and. it’s doing things to me#i am a sucker for sweet gentle loving tender husband maximus first and foremost#but i am also a total simp for feral raging intense warrior maximus every day of my life#this man could get it every day all day any place any position any combination of whatever he wants#sitting on his lap while he holds me tight enough to break my ribs would fix me i think#i need to be the one waiting for him in his gladiator cell when he comes back#and from there it’s up to him!#everyone go away my beloved husband and i are going to shake the very foundations of the arena tonight#but yeah the thigh being visible here?? i need to be institutionalized#WHY am i not on my knees kissing my way up his legs????#WHEN will that be possible??#i swear at this very moment i am taking off every bit of his armor and kissing him until my lips go numb#i need to TOUCH HIM I’M GOING INSANE I WON’T MAKE IT MUCH LONGER MAXIMUS#gladiator#maximus#maximus decimus meridius#gladiator 2000#russell crowe
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i have been listening to quite a bit of U2 today and now the age old question of "which member is actually my fave?" has resurfaced
#text#i really like all of them#though i never had a particularly strong Thing for larry (im sorry larry)#larry is the backbone of who they are and i really appreciate him a lot#and i love his attitude#but right now i am kinda going back and forth between edge and adam#i think adam is my current fave because he is just so chill#he has such a natural elegance to him#and he is such a gentleman#he also came up to me after i played on stage with them and was shaking like a leaf the moment adrenalin kicked my butt#and he told me that i did great and reassured me with his gentle aura and we hugged#i just really love the balanced at peace energy he has#edge is the sonic architect of the band!!!!#and i just think he is So Incredibly funny#(and he was also kind by teaching me the chords 😭)#bono is just.....#he is A Lot and loving him is like trying to idk stand in the middle of hurricane winds#it can be difficult to hold onto him without needing a bit of a breather every now and then#but he is very loveable and he has his heart in the right place#even if the execution is not always... great#and i have never met someone who could read people so well as he can#and i love how he uses that to just give everyone memorable experiences#such a natural showman and people person i suppose#he can center you out in a crowd of dozens of people screaming for his attention and give you that personal moment#... yeah im having U2 feelings#not in the way that i feel an intense moment of hyperfixation on them brewing#it mostly feels like visiting an old friend
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i think it's unfair that anxiety can cause an upset stomach. why are you doing all that.
#i woke up anxious and it's progressed to me being straight up scared but i have boxing today so it'll probably b fine#i might say i hate working out but i do like the fitness boxing classes ive been going to and working out always makes me feel better#and it's just insanely effective against anxiety#sometimes i think i'm normal and then get hit with the reminder that i do in fact have kinda bad social anxiety#and it's soo dumb#i'm literally laying on my bed scrolling tumblr but my body thinks it's being hunted for sport#sometimes when i get scared i get this weird like dizzy/shaky/nauseous and other stuff feeling and it's only progressed a few times#to like. being bad? idk how to explain it but it's annoyingg. it's probably a blood pressure thing or something bc i think mine is kinda low#but it always reads as ideal if i go to a doctor bc i'm so scared of doctors it spikes up gvfhxbdkdnd#anyways just some light silly fact so i can stop shaking for no reason#cant even do anything about it rn bc i have like 20 minutes before i need to leave so that's no time to do stuff#anyways i needed to rant a bit#i will b fine when i go outside to take a walk to the gym to do the boxing thing and walk back with a friend#but rn it's soo annoying so i need to distract myself#bc like i know im in no danger rn but my body seems to think otherwise#ahh whatever#leevi talks
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baby’s first fakemon 🎉
Brairn
Type: Grass/Rock
Height: 8’0” 2.4 m Weight 247.0 lbs 112.0 kg
Ability: Wayfinder, Sturdy (Hidden)
Wayfinder is the Brairn evolution family’s signature ability. This Pokémon’s moves will always hit, but it will always move last.
Pokédex Entry 1: Brairn prefer to remain stationary if possible. Hikers can reliably use them as cairns.
Pokédex Entry 2: It is believed that Brairn originated from the emotions and spirit of hikers on trails.
Origins: Brairn appear to be based on mossy cairns.
Etymology: Bryophyta, the taxonomic division of moss + Cairn
Brairn evolve into ??? at level 31.


#gari draws#nintendo#pokemon#fakemon#brairn#this fakemon was born from my frustration at pokedoku that there’s literally three grass/rock pokemon and none of them are moss rocks#like dude do you know how many times they play that category i already got dex for the three (3) pokemon give it a rest 😭#thought a little bit about theming and remembered how people make psas about rock stacking bc the tourist ones can get people lost#if they think they’re cairns and so we got this guy#the number one thing preventing me from posting them months ago was the fact that i didn’t have an ability#and then i had real like stuff once i actually figured one out which was funny bc this was 90% done too#graphic design is not my passion#the aligning shit pissed me off so bad#i think i lowballed the weight but it came to me in a dream (random number in my head)#their cry sounds like you’re shaking pebbles probably#i already designed the evo the same time as this but i just dont have dex entries#also i need to draw them officially they were designed in apple notes ✨#then after that i want to design a ground/fairy fakemon#i was really into fairies as a kid but unfortunately that just manifested in reading fictional book series and writing group fiction#on message boards about it#so i need to look up mythology for inspiration
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I been doing so many fanart requests, I need to start posting my OC more.. Me when I fear people will forget/stop caring about her
#text post#not art#dont get me wrong i been doing those cuz i genuinely have fun w it but grah. !#i have a simpsons oc as well and she's fun prommy!!#i been doodling some things w her including an ask i got from my friend Cruising ages ago.. i'll finish things eventually#i have to. i have to make people care. the patient needs the world to see her oc to live!!!#<- got suddenly hit by a Worry and a Longing#the way i crave oc interactions and asks about her from random ppl who just like her and all. the world could be so beautiful#looks out the window longingly#anyways the requests are underway too dw everyone :] i just got a LOT more than expected i'm sorry its taking a while LOL#also @ the person who sent me 13 ask requests (iirc) (wow!): i genuinely love your enthusiasm but#i think i likely will end up doing a big post with all the sketches at once rather than a big colored 3-pic post like the usual#usually people ask one or two things at once and wait to get their post before asking for more so i got a bit overwhelmed bGHBGH#love your love for background characters though and shaking your hand on that fr#secondary/background/one-off characters deserve love too
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I drew this picture for you. It's me, sending you a hug with much love. 😁🤗😂😉
But wait, there's more! Here's an exclusive variant with me offering you a high five instead! 😎👍
#should i start taking commissions? probably i know#lol#yes this was silly but i've always heard it's good to try new creative things#just to sorta shake up your muse and exercise your creativity a bit#so i made these for funsies#did i need to share?#nah#but the sentiment is real even if the SKILLZ are lacking#😂🤗#ageless aislynn#were you blinded by the majesty of aislynn's art#😂😂😂
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My roommate and I had a conversation last night and I keep rotating it in my brain and I Don’t Like It
#blue chatter#they called me a resilient person. and no the fuck I am not. I break down so easily over everything and my body is falling apart on me.#I scream in terror when someone knocks on the door too hard the fuck you mean I’m good at handling adversity#I pointed out that I freak out whenever my grade gets low even a little bit#and they were just sitting there like ‘yeah. and then you pick yourself up again and you do the work.’#and no? not always? oftentimes I give up and don’t try hard enough to fix it and let points go that I could have earned#I barely ever go for extra credit opportunities and I’ve never gone to office hours of my own free will#I can’t even think about talking to a professor about a bad grade without wanting to cry? hello?#but they were insistent that even with those things I am still managing Incredibly Well in class given the circumstances. which made me#uncomfortable. like. I don’t think of myself as resilient At All and I feel a bit like I’m lying or tricking them.#I start shaking like a chihuahua when people are upset and I’m In The Vicinity. even when they’re clearly not upset with me.#I really struggle to advocate for myself ever and even when I do I usually feel guilty and walk it back partway so I don’t cause a fight#and I always get way too emotional for the situation when someone has anything they’re upset with me for. which isn’t fair to them bc I need#to be able to take constructive criticism without taking it as a personal attack on me.#like what the fuck do you mean *resilient*. I can’t even handle seeing a bug flying near my face or getting a B in a class. or being told#that I did something wrong. I’m actually significantly worse at handling adversity than I used to be. high school me was a resilientish kid.#and it’s not like I was ever *good* at handling my emotions. even when it was essential for my safety. I’ve always cried way too easily#even when it actively made the situation I was in Much Worse. even when I knew better.#I would get angry and scared and sad and start shaking and crying and even screaming at my parents when they were mad at me even though#I knew that it would always make my life much worse. and extend an already beleaguered argument.#I brought this up with my therapist and she was like ‘well. anybody would have done that if they were treated like you were’.#which. okay. maybe so. I still feel like I should have been able to handle it and just shut up and move on and not make it worse.#but I am aware that this is probably a cognitive distortion. even so. that definitely doesn’t make me resilient.#I just. I feel gross being called resilient. I’m not. I’m weak and easily scared and unable to handle even small amounts of adversity.#the fuck is my roommate even *seeing*.#the annoying part is that they’re generally an insightful person about other people and I know logically that they’re probably right#which is why I’m not going to complain any more about this to their face bc I should just drop it and not make it a Thing#I talk too much about myself and my problems anyway. not every conversation has to be about my brain worms.#but the discomfort is Distinct and Unpleasant. and now I’m just having to sit with it. and Feel Uncomfortable. and try to accept what was#definitely intended as a compliment. I know it’s draining to talk to someone who doesn’t accept any of the kind things you say about them.
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my friends birthday is approaching and I don’t know what to buy her
#deity dialogue#i know all the things she likes but I am trying to think of practical gifts she’d like vs fun ones#I need to break into her house and inspect her collection of things to see what she’s missing#I love her so much but her ideal gift is like a vacuum but I don’t know if she even needs a vacuum rn#there’s a mop she talks about sometimes but it’s another case of will she want me to wait until we’ve moved to buy the mop#bless her soul I don’t wanna just buy her cleaning things but she actively likes cleaning so much#I don’t think she would want another blanket but hmmm#I know she likes eclectic jewelry (mood) but like I’m usually going places with her#I’d have to shake her off my trail#not impossible as I always try to get her little bits and bops when we’re antiquing and she’s yet to catch me#maybe I can get her a nice hoodie#something horror related…#I don’t think Lex follows this blog but kait if you see this help me like figure out what she would best like or need for her bday#I also wanna take her out to get dinner#I’m thinking the tea place that she and kait have taken me to my bday for two years in a row now (it’s beloved by us all)#OH I CAN TAKE HER TO THE CONVERYOR BELT SUSHI PLACE SHE LOVES#also her bfs bday is coming up I think I’m gonna get him some tea leaves and tea bags to put them in
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love people making jack this suave sexy put together badass like babe we are talking about a man who canonically wont say fuck and says "yahtzee" when hes excited
#handsome jack#borderlands 2#everyone needs to play the pre-sequel because he's such a fucking loser i am so in love with him#hes my husband its my job to bring up every embarrassing thing hes ever done#like saying booyah and getting caught pretending to lose connection on a call and getting punched when we first met him#and fucking up the violin bit and not getting sayings right and being so bad at talking and literally WHINING when he wants something#he is a LOSER that is IMPORTANT to his character DONT FORGET THAT#i fucking love him i want to put him in a salad blender and shake him around#like yes hes terrifying and evil and unbelievably well written buthim being a charismatic idiot is part of what makes him such a good tyrant#you CANNOT write him as the actual prowling beast that he is without making him a little silly :3c#yes he is a badass who have killed dozens and will do it again but also hes sooooo silly
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good morning + happy monday friendz. the yearning is pretty bad today, let’s weather the storm together <3 i hope you all have a great start to your week ෆ

#feeling ill i’m so lovesick#i wanna try and write but also i need to stop writing kuroo + zoro LOL#shake things up a bit bc i feel bad only posting them 😓#so i’ll project this onto diff characters mayhaps#looks out the window longingly …..#anyway i’m v sleepy and having to leave bed this morning when the kitties were fast asleep on me was heartbreaking for everyone involved#have a wonderful day everyone i’m sending out smooches !!!!#₊˚⊹ ᰔ xoxo aims#ヾ( ˃ᴗ˂ )◞ — ✩ daily yap.
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needing to exert massive amounts of self control bc a) i am feeling ill rn b) the second hand shop (which is in my street) is having a sale week again c) I Want Stuff and d) i do not Need Stuff
#i want to go and just buy the stuff (shirts specifically) in natural fabrics but like#i already have two silk shirts (probably 3 actually but im not sure about the last one) and i actually just want smth that i cant have#(i want more white linen and cotton button ups but i have a lot of body acne that just makes wearing white impossible#or at the very least implausible) but also i have some disposable income rn but also im on a low buy but also I Want.#shaking myself. YOU DO NOT NEED!#one last thing that might convince me if this happens again next month tho:#i actually Do Need a LITTLE BIT. like as in: yes i have enough clothes to dress myself daily and to function in society#i have more than enough clothes on that level#but i dont have a lot of clothes that actually fit in a way that makes me feel able to function on a professional / worksona level#like all the clothes that i DO have that are within the worksona category are either too big or they have various rips and holes in them#that i have patched but usually they are quite visible so they dont at all come across as profesh#its def not the end of the world but its hard when i work 3 days/week and want to look both profesh and also like myself#but i am limited </3 but that is life </3 and i dont need linen and cotton button ups like also#if theres one thing i FOR REAL do not need its more button ups. altho actually even there a lot of them are at the end of their life now#ugh i should maybe actually do a proper closet purge and mend what needs mending and throw out/donate/recycle what i cant wear#- to most situations bc thats an issue i have: i love my clothes but im aware i cant wear torn shit to my daily activities#but im not going to wear THOSE clothes at home holes&all because theyre not my ultimate comfy clothes#so then as it turns out i cannot wear those clothes so i should not hold onto them
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ik we’re all boycotting target rn but they have a $40 coffee table i like but the color that would match furniture i already have is clearly being discontinued bc it’s not available online but there’s 3 in stock at the store nearest to me….
#it is tempting sfdf. if i had my own car i probably would tbh#context: am planning to slowly stockpile things i’ll need for an apartment#this isn’t me being like oh i should shake my decor up a bit
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it's good news thank god 😭😭😭
#iui tag#last time this was the first indication that things weren't going right#because it was only a 30% increase and it needed to be 60-100% for her to think everything was normal#but this time my levels went up by 216% 😭😭😭#i am weeping in a study room#maybe it's all going to be okay#my ultrasound is next thurs (week and a half)#i am going to try SO hard to stay in the headspace of joy during this brief window where i have no medical encounters#she mentioned that if i am feeling really anxious about the utlrasound i can have one more blood draw done in the meantime#and i think i will try to be chill but will keep that in reserve if i really need confirmation that things are going ok#but JOY JOY JOY#anyway in other news i think i might have a bit of light pregnancy loss trauma 🫠#the degree to which i was out of my fucking mind all weekend and all day today was just uh#it was a lot#i was so sick with adrenaline i was shaking on the drive to work#but okay#just gonna#focus on the joy of right now
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hiihiii i love the way u write shidou smmmm so if ur requests r still open id like something with shidou + lies <3
Hellooo thank you!! Shidou zoomed his way into my favorites and I really enjoy writing him, haha! Here's a bit of him hanging with the smoking group T1
The problem with lying, Shidou had found, is that you end up fooling everyone involved. If you spend time trying to deceive someone, the people close to you will also believe it. If you continue, it will affect all those in proximity. And, if you do it for long enough, you’ll start to deceive yourself.
Shidou had certainly lost track of his lies for a while. Right before it had all come crashing down around him, he’d almost believed all the beautiful tales of hope and health he’d been spreading. He’d almost seen the world as the place he’d been describing.
And then the truth hit him; it crushed him. Seeing all the blood on his hands, he’d tried to swear the whole thing off in what little time he had left in this life. But, like his other habits, it was a difficult one to break.
He exhaled smoke into the room, listening to Mikoto go on about the busy days of his office job. Shidou was concerned how he still spoke about everything as if he’d be heading right back after all this.
He wanted nothing more than to sit him down for an examination. There were several reasons he may not remember his crime -- it was most likely the emotional shock, but Shidou couldn’t rule out the possibility of a head injury, an illness, a seizure, a stroke, or even it being a side effect of whatever drugs Milgram must have given the prisoners when bringing them here. It took everything in him to let Mikoto be. After all, no one was going to request help from a “killer doctor,” and he didn’t have any of his usual equipment.
So he just stood and smoked in silence.
“What about you?” Kazui asked. “My line of work definitely stressed me out, too. But I don’t think I’ve seen you bat an eye at anything since coming here.” He nudged Shidou. “Are you just as cool under pressure as those movie doctors?”
Shidou’s lips angled to a smile. “I suppose so. Though, I believe they look calm because they’re meant to appear perfectly competent. I’m calm so that patients don’t realize I am imperfect.”
Was that all he was, when he killed those people? Just ‘imperfect’?
Seeing the way Mikoto’s eyebrows shot up, he clarified, “I’m very competent, mind you. But no doctor is perfect. Many patients will panic if you show even the slightest sign of doubt.”
He teased, “so you just lie to everyone all day? Damn, remind me to watch out the next time I go in for a checkup.”
“No, it isn’t like that.” Wasn’t it?
The other two continued the conversation, but Shidou grew quiet. Was that something else he’d started to believe? Another thing he’d convinced himself was normal when, in fact, it was very, very wrong?
“I get that. Confidence is really important when dealing with dangerous situations.”
“Heh, I’ve definitely put up a bit of an act around here for some of the younger prisoners. I think it’s been helping, they seem calmer from when this all started.”
That’s right -- his goal was always to help, to calm. He watched Mikoto rub his temple absently, and knew another headache was approaching and knew what to do for it. He’d helped Haruka get over a cold the past week. He and Kotoko had discussed nutrition tips the other day. He was still doing good. The smile that he put up for the others was still doing good.
“Well, I’m glad we’ve got a professional around here.” Kazui gestured his cigarette to Shidou, snapping him away from his thoughts. “Nothing against the guard, but it’s nice to have someone like you who can help me look out for everyone.”
“Yeah, feel better about being here already!” Mikoto slung an arm around him. The boy's expression showed he was trying to appear in on some joke. “So, doc, you think that all of us are getting out of this crazy place in one piece?”
Shidou wanted to warn him the situation was more serious than he knew. Milgram was not a big joke. He was not a man to be trusted. He was not a man to be forgiven.
But old habits die hard.
“Oh, I'm sure of it.”
#milgram#shidou kirisaki#mikoto kayano#thank you for the request ahh!! i tried to peek into his mind a bit more -- hes got a lot going on in there ough...#its neat that he and kazui are such different flavors of liars#kazui is hiding himself out of fear - always painfully aware of the truth#but shidou lies to make others happy and help more people and to save more lives - all the while believing it a bit himself#many of the other prisoners reached the end of their patience with their lies/what they were hiding. they finally broke.#but shidous final murder happened because he was completely consumed by his own lie#and now - despite having suicide-level guilt over it - hes still helping people and needing to put up those old masks#hes just so !!!! *shakes him violently*#on another note he strikes me as the type to be constantly noticing things and itching to help#everyones kinda sure that mikotos trauma is repressing his memory but shidou is the only one who it Really bothers#anyway i hope you enjoy!#drabbles
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#꒰🥀꒱ ❝ Tragic Prose ❞#delete later#normally in most cases I know better than to use memes with ifunny watermarks#but with how late it is I. really don’t care#hi. I can’t sleep. figured I’d just pour my guts out to see if getting it outta my system will help me#because I’m not good at being subtle you may have picked up I’ve been in a baaaad episode. of what specifically I’m not sure but It’s Bad!#I guess a lot of it boils down to me hating myself. which y’know I’m kinda used to but it feels heavier than normally#like I can’t really think about anything else besides how much of an awful selfish disgusting hedonist I am#in the grand scheme of things I know I’m being irrational and I’ll eventually get ahold of myself later#but eh… it’s not that easy a feeling to just shake off y’know?#I’m sure eventually I’ll come around and stop feeling so sorry for myself. but eh I just needed to get this off my chest#I guess it worked since I feel a bit better. either that or the Benadryl I took is kicking in#boy oh boy will I regret posting this but also most of my friends live on the other side of the country I doubt they’ll see this LMAO#if you read this far. uh. sorry.#not even for the nonsensical tag vent post with an xzibit meme I’m just sorry in GENERAL#okay I! should probably try to go to bed. night night
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