#love your love for background characters though and shaking your hand on that fr

[fauchart]

I been doing so many fanart requests, I need to start posting my OC more.. Me when I fear people will forget/stop caring about her

[nctstar]

Can I get a smut of Johnny suh using his size and strength kink on a petite female Y/N? Thank you~

heyy! i'm so sorry this is absurdly late :(( but hope you still like it! <3

small

Wasting no time to rid himself of his clothes, he spoke. “This room is fine, right?” Muscles bulging as he fiddled with his shirt, the ridges of his chest drawing in the singlet, you bit your finger almost comically. “Hello? Earth to _?” The brown of his eyes were soft, a sharp contrast to his stature. He smirked, his hair bouncing as he threw his head back slightly. “Like what you see?”

pairing: johnny suh x fem!reader

other members: none

word count: 2.4k

genre: romance, smut

warnings: sexual content so minors please dni!! as per the request the reader is smaller than Johnny but I refrained from describing body parts or her specific size or anything like that, she is just short. if you're sensitive to this kind of talk though maybe don't read <3 mild profanity, lots of kissing, johnny carries reader, manhandling, descriptions of johnny's torso and body throughout, dirty talk about the size of his ding dong schlong, mild degradation (use of slut), ripping clothes bc those muscles do more than lift weights <3, clitoral stimulation/fingering, reader is pretty slutty and dumb during sex (aren't we all), missionary sex, praising (sweet girl, good girl), condom use, talking after sex (post nut clarity fr)

disclaimer: this is a fanfiction purely from my (filthy) imagination. I don't know the nct members and don't claim that they act like this in real life. I also do not condone any of the activity by any of the characters in this fic. 

a/n: i have been in such a writer's slump particularly with smut! like i think i need some time off to write some good fics and some good smut, so i'm sorry anon and to all my lovely readers if this is shit :(

“Now why would he ever say that?” You peeked at your friend pacing around your small room through your hair. Scissors in one hand, your (new) bangs in the other, you winced. “Wait, girl, I made a mistake I think.”

She sighed as you let the strands flutter across your forehead, uneasiness settling in your stomach. “Didn’t you follow what he said?” Brad Mondo’s curtain bangs tutorial continued in the background as you turned your head expectantly from side to side. Your friend held your head in place with open palms, looking at you through the mirror. “It’s actually kinda cute. Makes you look…well…”

“Don’t say small.” She snorted, bringing a hand to her face to unsuccessfully cover her mouth. “I don’t care, that’s the funniest thing I’ve heard in a long time.”

You pushed yourself off the stool, rolling your eyes as you started undressing. “He didn’t mean it like that.” Your belt clinked as your jeans fell to the carpet, and you started bringing your shirt over your heard. “I’m sure it was his way of complimenting me.” Despite all your efforts, you couldn’t stop the annoyance that cemented your words into place. “I guess.”

“Girl, you need to tell him that it bothers you.”

“It doesn’t bother me.”

“Yeah, and it’s not weird to call some girl you’ve been on two dates with small.”

The doorbell cut through the air, making you both jump. “Shit. It’s like he heard or something.”

“Shit. Wait, just let him in and get him to wait downstairs. Okay?” Sudden panic was settling into your body, making your hands shake. Your friend got the message and hurried downstairs, zipping her skirt up in record time while hobbling downstairs. “Hope I don’t smell like chicken. I hate having shifts on Fridays.”

Staring at your reflection in the mirror, you pulled the skirt over the curves of your thighs and butt, watching the way it held onto your body. Stuffing the ends of the top into the skirt, you walked over to pick out a pair of shoes.

“I’m heading out! Johnny’s waiting down here!” Your friend’s voice made your body do the kind of useless flurry that it does whenever you know you’re running out of time, and you drag out the highest heels you own. Small, my ass.

“Hey!” As usual, he softened his frame when he saw you, placing his hands in his pockets and smiling so big so you would forget to feel intimidated by his 6-foot stature, or rock-hard physique. His eyes were like small moons, bursting on his face whenever he smiled. “Hey, nice bangs.” You instinctively went to fiddle with them, silently cursing yourself for messing them up. “Thanks.” Your smile was a little forced, but you were giddy to see him, your body rocking back and forth without your permission, ankles rubbing against each other.

∞

“The pasta was so good,” you couldn’t stop raving, your hips knocking into Johnny as he walked you home, arms linked. “Like seriously, Johnny. So good.”

He laughed, the sound leaving him effortlessly. “I’m so glad you liked it. I remember the pasta here being amazing, but I was worried you would think I’m cheap or not taking you seriously. The place being run down and all.” You shook your head, your bangs shuffling from side to side as you did. “No, of course not. I would rather eat something good on the street than a tiny portion of something small and pretentious at an upscale place.”

He hummed, moonlight hitting his body, softening some angles and sharpening others, hair glowing golden brown as he walked. Your heels clacked against the linoleum of your front porch as you wondered whether your friend was home, but before you could reach for the front door, your knees buckled. You let out a small gasp as you felt Johnny’s arms around your body, pinching into your skin almost uncomfortably. “Oh shit! I’m okay, babe.” You both froze at the sudden nickname, his arms loosening around you as you straightened up. You shakily continued. “U-uhm, sorry, I mean-“

“I think your shoes broke.”                                                                   

Yeah, no shit, you wanted to bite back. But you held your tongue, frustration seeping through your pores as you held onto the rail, Johnny hovering protectively over you as you took the right heel off, now newly broken in two pieces. “Oh my god. These were so expensive! Ugh!”

“It’s okay. Maybe I can buy you another pair. Babe.” He said the last word almost sarcastically, and you glared at him. “Johnny.”

“I’m serious. I’m sorry those broke so easily. I’ll bring a new pair next time?”

“Johnny, wait.”

“You like me, right?” His face crumpled just a tiny bit. Not exaggerated like in the movies or anything, so subtle you would never notice from afar, or if you weren’t close. You warmed at the thought of knowing him so closely, so well, enough to know that something was not right in the lines of his eyebrows.

You gulped, not knowing how to respond.

“I feel like you kinda hate me.” He crinkled his nose when he said hate, almost sarcastically, but his tone jabbed you straight in the chest. You shook your head. No, of course not, you wanted to say. I like you. I like you so much. But I am small to you. I wonder if you think of me as small. Do YOU like me?

“I just, I don’t like being small.” He frowned, and so did you, the words sounding stupid as soon as they filled the small space between your bodies. “I mean, you called me small the other day. And I know you probably, well, definitely, meant it as a cute thing. Like physically. Like a term of endearment, you know? But, I don’t wanna be seen as small, like more than physically. You know what I mean?” You cringed internally at your words, watching him stare blankly back at you.

“Right.”

“I’m so sorry. I sound like such a jerk. I don’t mean to be hung up over one little word you said.” You bit your lip, tasting the remnants of your lipstick on your tongue. “It’s just what made me feel a little weird. But, I do like you, Johnny.” Your heart raced as you looked up at him. Your body moved without permission for the umpteenth time, and your arms melted around his hips, fingers splaying across the small of his back. Your mind screamed at you, but your body ignored it, burning up from within.

Tentatively, he brought one hand to your chin, skin warm but rough on yours. “I don’t think low of you. I never have. I just think you’re so fucking gorgeous. So perfect the way you are.” The butterflies in your stomach were now dancing, free, leaping over hills and grassy plains. “Sorry for the poor choice of words.”

You smiled, some of the tension leaving you as you let your bodies merge seamlessly, like lanes on an open road, like the sun as it meets the horizon. You kicked off your other shoe, standing on your tiptoes to meet his lips with yours. He tentatively glazed his hands over your sides, making you shiver and moan into his mouth. You brought your fingers to the nape of his neck, savouring the taste. “Mmm, Johnn-“

You yelped when he gripped your thigh, guiding it to press against his hips. “Jump up for me, baby.” You giggled, nodding as you straddled him, his torso gently rebounding back with your weight. As you met his lips once more, dragging your forearms across the top of his shoulders, you heard your front door open and close, the door to the downstairs bedroom fling wide open. As your back hit the bed, your hair splayed out onto the fresh sheets, knees bent, lipstick smeared.

Wasting no time to rid himself of his clothes, he spoke. “This room is fine, right?” Muscles bulging as he fiddled with his shirt, the ridges of his chest drawing in the singlet, you bit your finger almost comically. “Hello? Earth to _?” The brown of his eyes were soft, a sharp contrast to his stature. He smirked, his hair bouncing as he threw his head back slightly. “Like what you see?”

“Uh huh.” All the shame left your body as you drew circles on his body and face with your eyes, letting his thick frame tower over you. “Is this okay?” He breathed into your collarbone, and when you nodded fervently, you felt his lips suck and nip at your neck. Gasping, you gripped onto his neck, letting your ankles hook around the back of his jean-clad legs. “Y-yes. Yes please. Don’t tease, I want y-you so much.”

“Yeah?” He played with the buttons of your top, but you stopped him. “I can’t wait���just rip it off, please. I need you. Right now. Please, just use me. I know you can.” He drew an eyebrow upwards, and you almost felt a slight twinge of embarrassment until you heard the top rip, cold air exposing your lace bra, tits bulging as you arched your chest off the bed. “What a slut. Is this what you wanted all along?” He laughed as you wriggled under him, mouth latching onto the tops of your boobs. He released you only to throw your arms up, pinning your wrists down to the bed to watch your reaction. When you bit your lip in response, bringing your core closer to his, he laughed darkly. “Freak.”

“Yes, just for you, fuck, please.”

“Bet you’re just soaked under this tight little skirt. Want me to rip this off too?” You nodded before he could even finish his sentence, and the sound of your fabric ripping filled the air. “Mmm, just as I suspected.” As he dragged your panties down your thighs, you felt your wetness pool onto the sheets under you. “Please, please, hold me down and fuck me.” You whispered into his ear, letting your plump lips graze against his skin as you massaged the nape of his neck with your fingers. You whimpered when his jean-clad bulge bumped against your clit, the burn in your core growing with every passing second.

He kissed you deeply, pulling away at an agonising pace. “Tell me why, baby.” You whined, trying to gather some friction between your legs with no avail. His arms pinned yours to either side of your head, his legs like heavy weights against yours. “Please, I just, I want your cock i-inside me, w-want it to split me open…” He shook his head. “What makes you think I would do that to you? I’m too big for you, honey.”

You whined. “N-no, please. I don’t care, just, push it in me…” He laughed, kissing you. “Please, I want to feel so full…” He shushed you, sitting up to unbuckle his jeans. “Mmm, yes, yes please…” You were just babbling nonsense, the anticipation too intense to bear. His cock sprung out of his boxers, hitting his stomach, precum spilling out the edges of the tip. You heard him rip open a condom packet, dragging it on his length at lightning speed. He ran his cockhead through the folds of your pussy, making you whimper. “So wet.” He breathed, and you gasped as his tip entered you at an agonisingly slow place. “J-Johnny.” Your brain fought your body, wanting him to continue but feeling apprehensive at the impending stretch. “You’re so big. Fuck.” You snuck a hand down towards your clit, but Johnny grabbed your wrist, leaning over to kiss your chin. “Let me.” As he pressed one finger onto your core, you gasped, back arching, eyes squeezing shut. “O-oh, oh my…”

“You like that?” He started speeding up, your gasps and moans like drugs to his system. When he pulled away, he started pushing his length in, and you let out a deep breath, as if you had been holding it in the entire time. “Fuck.” You drawled, feeling him in every corner of your insides. “Fuck, Johnny. You’re, you’re so big, and s-strong.”

Johnny laughed, and you wondered for a second whether you had ruined the mood. “My cock making you lose your filter, babe?” You blushed, but the constant bump and stretch on your clit had your vision go foggy, your head spinning deliriously. You used your forearms to push away, breathing deeply as if his cock had suffocated you from the inside out. Johnny wrapped his arms around your hips, bringing you flush against his pelvis in one swift movement. “Uh uh, where do you think you’re going?” His snarkiness and the fulness in your lower stomach made your core squeeze excessively. “Ah, shit! Fuck, I think I’m gon-“ You felt it before you could finish your sentence, your climax stealing the words out of your mouth, making your heart thump incessantly against your ribcage.

Johnny cooed at your, his forearms now caging you by your head, peppering light kisses on your face. “You alright, sweet girl?” You nodded, gasping. “Please, please move.” He chuckled, groaning as he pulled back to thrust into you, making you throw your head back and scream. “Fuck, oh my god.” Your body shook with the force of his steady thrusts, his legs pinning your body down to the bed. “Good girl, that’s it.” He groaned, getting sloppier as he reached his climax. “You’re so good for me. So eager for me to pin you down and fuck you. Because I’m so big and strong, right?” You reached for Johnny’s neck, the embarrassment at your previous comments leaving you as you felt your core tighten, coil ready to snap. “Fuck, you just gripped me so tight, fuck. Nasty girl.” You moaned as you came, feeling him release inside the condom with a throaty moan.

Both of you heaving, gasping for air, you pulled Johnny close to your body, kissing his collarbone, his neck, his face. “I do like you, a lot.” Your breath tickled his skin as you spoke, and he stroked your hair gently with one hand, using the other to pull away from you to look into your eyes. “I’m sorry for calling you small. I admit, it’s a little weird.”

“Apology accepted. I think we’ve both called each other things we’re never gonna say again.”

“No, hon, you should always call me big and strong Johnny-“

“Johnny, please. Never mention that again. It was a moment of weakness!” You whined, shielding your face as he laughed, slipping off you to lie next to you on the bed. “Kinda sexy though.” You slapped his arm playfully, laughing as slipped down his forearm to take his hand in yours.

“I’ll think of something better for next time, promise.”

[torusangel]

I was never good at goodbye | Gojo Satoru

Description: Everyone celebrated as they watched unlimited hollow purple hit but their celebrations fell on deaf ears. Your gut felt terrible, like your heart just got ripped from your chest; and it did.

Warnings⚠️: Manga spoilers!!, character death, angst, tears, tears, tears

A/N: I’m so in my feels guys. It’s been a month and I’m still in shambles please forgive me 😭 next thing I post I promise it won’t be this depressing. I CANT BELIEVE THIS ANGST IS FR MY FIRST POST

The cheers around you faded into the background as pain ripped through your chest. Burned into your retinas was the sight of him being cut. Your world, your heart, you felt like you were on fire as silence soon replaced the celebration. You didn’t even recognize your own voice when you screamed. It was a horrible sound, like a wounded animal clawing for its taken child. A blood curdling scream that ripped through your entire body, the feeling shredding your throat, metallic taste of blood flooding your tongue.

Then it was quiet again. The gut wrenching pain subsided and was replaced by peace in a serene field. Why were you upset again? What happened? Questions flooded your brain and left as soon as they came. Stress seeped out of you, all it left in its wake was…. Him?

“Toru? How’d you get here?” you questioned suddenly seeing his familiar silhouette. He turned towards you with a sad smile and threw himself into your warm embrace, “what’s wrong?” it was scary seeing him like this. The strongest looking so defeated. The Satoru you knew would never let something get in the way of his overwhelming confidence in himself.

Tears stained your shirt while he desperately clutched you tighter, like if he let go you’d slip from his fingers, dispersing into the wind that would carry you away from him, “I don’t want to leave. This life I’ve built with you, these memories, your scent, I don’t want to forget.” soft words in choked sobs left your lovers lips. Suddenly you felt wet tears flooding your eyes and painting your cheeks, though you couldn’t figure out why you were crying anymore.

“I….. I can’t remember what’s wrong but please don’t cry Toru, I’ll always be here with you. I won’t let you forget.” your hands found themselves tangled in his hair, comfortingly brushing the snow white strands through your fingers. With each pass his breath steadied, and Satoru let himself melt into your loving touch.

“I’m sorry love, I was never good at goodbye. I’m just, so so tired.” he looked up from your chest to cup your face and finally meet your gaze. Delicately, he traced his fingertips across your face trying to commit every little detail to memory.

Slowly, the scenes of his fight started to comeback to you. He pressed his forehead to yours, closing his eyes with a heavy sigh. ‘Ah, this must be it then. He must’ve used everything he had left to make this last moment with me’ you thought. Oddly, it didn’t hurt. Perhaps it was because of this small place he made for you, maybe it was the fact you didn’t want him to feel burdened with the weight of the world anymore, maybe you just wanted his last memory of you to be happy, not just your pained cries for him.

The light breeze and sunshine on your skin was warm, just like him. Everything in this little world you two had created was like him. The earthy scent that filled your nostrils, dandelions that dances in the wind, and the wind that tickled your skin like his touch. Then there was him, you didn’t want to let him go either. You would’ve given anything to stay like this, in each others arms, for the rest of time rather than having to leave. But in your heart of hearts you knew, just like everything, this couldn’t last forever.

You took a deep breath to steady your shaking hands, placing them on either side of his face. He looked so peaceful, just as he always did when he slept by your side, “it’s okay Toru, it’s okay for you to rest now” he smiled, but his eyes stayed closed. White lashes against porcelain skin and his strong embrace engulfing you.

His body felt so heavy, all his strength slipping away in your arms. His lids were too heavy for him to pry open anymore, he knew his time with you was up. With the last breath he had, the last bit of energy he could feel still within him,

He kissed you.

[m1ckeyb3rry]

No…don’t mention meet cute Karasu….not in the presence of an Otoya fic….gotta stay in the Otoya headspace for hollyhock….

FR it’s almost kinda nice how since it’s not in your face if you aren’t feeling particularly angsty he can kinda just be a silly guy LOL

Oh yeah the malicious sliding double press…yikes…also when Kuon tackles Nagi?? If he’s taking down a 6’3 giant imagine like a 5’3 girl like that’s just getting sudden deathed

LMAOOO I love the use of that emoji it’s so funny to me the shaking head one, but fr the Itoshis can’t have it all!! Another Karasu request on top of all the ones I already knew of oh em gee Karasu nation rise up….take it easy though LOL!!! Can’t rush greatness but also burnout is the worst too so I hope you’re having fun writing everything too hehe

That’s honestly a big brain move…gotta leave some space in between reading to allow myself to forget some details so I can kinda be surprised when I watch LMAO

BRO THE CHIGIRI LEG MENTIONS SHSH every time they bring it up im like…haha…hahahahaha…whyarewebringingupthepast….heshealedright??? Erm yeah I feel like it’d be a huge waste of his development if he didn’t at LEAST make it to the World Cup so praying the authors don’t pull an Akutami Gege!!!!

LMAOOO in character it is….yeah I wonder if maybe it’s because of the way his hair is styled that the pairing of the two makes him look extra scruffy….not sure but yeah not my favorite

No definitely…fs present in every fandom I’ve definitely seen a bunch in JJK too (sometimes with Yuta which leaves me so confused) but um!! To each their own I guess. Lol.

BRUH RIN AND NANASE HAS ME CRYING “you are my property now” WHAT???

You could never make me hate kurona omg FR his character profile shdgshs the braid bread (?? I think) and his fav animal being a shark is so cute he’s really just chilling, not a single mean bone in his body!! The way he cheered up Reo was ADORABLE im so glad they included that additional time in the movie shdgshs especially since we won’t really be seeing him in S2 besides maybe some background shots…I really wanna see more scenes of them off field too!! Kinda like the manga additional time with Team Kindness LOL show me some real friends please…..

OOOOOO gonna go hunt for them those look good…

Wait also LIGHT NOVEL?? Waiting to get my hands on the full thing but from what I’ve seen floating around DHDGSHSH BAROUUUUUU omg it’s basically exactly what we discussed before LMAO

-Karasu anon

AHHHH it’s def a slow burn with otoya so especially at first it’s going to be tough but i think it will be worth it…it’s hard work making eita “red flag” otoya into a tragic love interest but i think i may pull it off yet 😏

TRULY he is so versatile like you can explore his complexities and whatnot or you can just be like. fluffy squishy cutie boy. and both work honestly!! i will always be a nagi lover at heart fr

literally omg or can you imagine playing in the u20 match and getting absolutely slammed by oliver AKDFJHSDF pls…the reality of being a female in bllk may not be the most glamorous (but at least you’re surrounded by hot guys??? although like half of them are lowkey weird asf so it’s not really that much of a bonus)

THE SHAKING HEAD AND NODDING EMOJIS CRACK ME UP EVERYTIME they’re so unserious 😭 especially w that fuckass little smile they have SKDLJFLS and yes i agree the itoshi bros should suffer too sometimes!! lmao i’ve written for both of them once and like they honestly are fun to write but smth about how popular they are makes me not want to write for them even more!! and YESSS karasu nation is pulling up fr HAHA i think he is slowly but surely becoming this blog’s brand but ykw i’m okay with that!! and yes i have been enjoying writing hehe especially for karasu bro…he’s so perfect i love him 🥹 (as you know vv well HAHA)

yeah like i lowkey could not tell you most of what happens during the third selection and sometimes i want to go back and reread because there’s so many good karasu and otoya panels in it (that’s like the arc where they’re most prominent after all) but then i stop myself because i want to be delighted by watching it animated!! i do think that if nothing else it’ll be super hype to see a lot of the goals that happen in third selection/u20 arc so i’m doing my best to hold out for now…we’ll see if i can last until october though

my guess is that he’s going to have some “going out in a blaze of glory” type of moment where he says something that mirrors his awakening where he says that he doesn’t care if he never runs again and puts everything into that one game, which allows him to score a goal for bllk that wins them a crucial game but also puts him out of commission possibly forever. depressing af but i do agree that he’s probably not going to go out for a while just because he’s one of the main characters and seems to be one of the author’s favs

his hair is like super thick idk?? i do think it adds smth to the stubble that overall is an interesting picture…honestly the panels of him younger where he doesn’t have the facial hair are soo handsome though like give me five seconds and i can fix him fr (not his womanizing though just the mustache LMAOAO)

it’s the most random characters!! i’ve seen it for nagi too kind of?? like that man canonically has 0 friends 0 bitches 0 parents that care about him…he is NOT going to be flirty or good at intimacy!! otoya aiku yukimiya and reo are right there too like all of them are stated to be popular w girls and half of them are also fboys…but oh well whatever makes people happy!! i shan’t yuck anyone’s yum (though i will most likely stay away for the most part)

dude rin was so foul for that too LMAOAO??? like why did he feel the need to say that…“you are my property now” rin you are a 16 year old boy. that is also a 16 year old boy. HELP?? he’s so lucky karasu and shidou weren’t on the field when he whipped that one out i knowww they would’ve bullied him so bad (lowkey karasu and shidou both give such older brother vibes but in exact opposite ways SDJKFNS)

KURONA IS SO SWEET!! and he just has no beef no problems kind to everyone truly an ideal man. he was so sweet cheering up reo too i hope we see more of them (iirc they were standing kinda together in the s2 trailer?? so maybe that means we’ll get scenes of them!!). i also feel like the additional times are going to be funny and will hopefully show more of them just being silly…manifesting a karasu and otoya additional time that’s just them being menaces 🤞🏻 i feel like additional time is one thing that the anime def got right they’re always so funny to watch and really show the dynamics between characters that you might not consider otherwise yk

they are really good HAHAH i hope you like them if you try them!!

WE READ BAROU TO FILTH FR!! like the ln basically confirmed everything we’ve been saying which is so validating like omg maybe we do understand these characters on a deeper and cooler and more intellectual level than everyone else 🙄🤩 LMAOA the illustration of him helping his sisters is so cute too the way he’s so pressed but still being so sweet…plus the tank top and hair down combo is LETHAL!! i can’t wait to read them properly hehehe i love barou sm he’s surprisingly underrated considering how much screen time he got in season 1

[v1ci0us]

omg, let me tell you. i was so excited when i saw the tara masterlist and even more excited when this came out. i love her as much as u do and i already know ur gonna write her so well, as u always do with every character ever

Leaving your phone on the coffee table, you stretched your sore muscles, basking in the eery feeling of having only the TV and street lamps from outside as your source of light in the small hotel room.

nothing special honestly, but the way you write the background and environment is so casual and natural, if that makes sense. likee ur just too good at everything, even meaningless paragraphs

Tara stood in front of you, shaking like a leaf. She wore her fluffy pink jacket, hugging it impossibly closer to her body the best way she could manage with her bandaged hand; shifting awkwardly on her feet. The dim orange light of the hallway reflected against her cheeks, allowing you to see fading tear tracks on them. Her eyes, red-rimmed and wide, were looking at you with a silent plea.

omg tara and her pink fluffy jackettt☹️ the sight warms my heart while also simultaneously making it ache, i js wanna hug her i swear

She came looking for her source of comfort before even fully waking up, in nothing but a mess of unsteady feet and shaky breaths.

the fact we’re the first thing she goes to after a nightmare, her first safety and comfort 🫠

Tara limped forward, a lone tear rolling down her cheek. Maybe because walking was still painful. She said nothing as she threw herself into your arms, soft sobs being muffled by your hoodie.

oh god, no words honestly. but i’m glad u chose to do this—the aftermath of ghostface—out of all the options because it’s perfect and seems like it was meant for u. the relief but also memories, and the consolation offered to tara; all things you put together seamlessly 

Tara's eyes widened the slightest bit at the mere idea of you putting distance between you and her, it tugged at your heartstrings that something so simple got her so terrified.

whfjnskgksngnsmfhogmenw. i think it would be accurate tho because she’s just suffering with trauma and injuries, never wanting to distance herself from her loved ones

Before sitting down beside Tara, you took a second to yourself to take her in. She looked adorably small between the mountain of blankets and cushions; her hair was a bit of a mess, up in what was supposed to be a bun, a few strands still clinging to the cold sweat on her forehead; she was looking at the TV, but you could tell her eyes were unfocused.

making my heart flutter fr. she’s just so cute and tiny , pocket sized and cuddly u wanna melt into her forever 

Tara tried drying off her cheeks, quiet sobs making her shoulders shake.

nahhh shes makin me frown, even painting a picture of her all sad and teary eyed😕

Each beating of your heart hurts against your ribs, it wants to leap out of your chest and into her hands — even this close is not close enough; even with her in your arms, you still want to protect her more. Your thumb found the corner of her lip and moved up her cheek, brushing away her tears with the pad of your finger like a promise of safety.

exactly how i feel, i js wanna wrap her up forever and even then it wouldn’t be enough, it’s the insatiable desire to protect n comfort

"Because we were- we-"

they were together and it’s so much different than billy and sidney, because sid did suspect him and wasn’t fully heart eyes for him—even in the end she didn’t hesitate to protect herself first without thinking about billy. but tara and amber??? i feel like she put so much trust into her and she acted protective towards tara even when she was in the hospital — then for it to just crumble down on u as u find out the girl u felt something for wanted to kill u, and attempted to. 

Your heart bled for her and her only. It hurt just how much you felt for her, how much you loved her. Though it was the good kind of pain.

broooo, this line🙏🙏 how do u come up with these i swear ur mind is astounding 

It felt a lot like healing. And truth was, maybe you were both a bit of a mess, but existing together made it feel like you didn't need anything else to feel whole again.

no words my head is dizzy i am clutching my heart , mind going foggy

Her eyes drifted down to where your hand held onto hers. Where others hurt, you cared. She was looking at you as if you were everything she'd ever thirsted for; as if no one else made sense.

i am literally going crazy, having heart eyes for this girl and how passionate she is even after everything. owns my heart fr 

You bumped her knee with yours. As if you'd ever say no. "Only if you promise to stay tomorrow too."

And every day after.

giggling u always write the best stuff ever, it’s like drugs but only better

anyways i obviously loved this so so so much, if u couldn’t tell. i think this was very sweet and i want to insert it into my veins if possible 😊 ur work is always perfect and enchanting, takes me to a whole other world fr

😘😘😘

late night blues

Tara Carpenter x Reader

Summary: Tara is often plagued by the memories of what she's been through. Luckily she has you to remind her that life can still be warm and sweet.

A/N: This idea was given to me by my dear @iamnicodemus, I really hope you like it. It is my first time writing for Tara, guys, so be nice to me. Requests for her are open, just be mindful of my guidelines. <3

Masterlist

The TV was talking to itself. It was late at night already, too late for you to not be in bed.

But you were starting to get used to the constant noise of the cars on the streets, and the couch was so comfortable.

After the days you've been having, the short walk to the bedroom felt like too much of an effort.

Though it wasn't the smartest decision, because when you stirred awake with the sound of erratic knocking on your door, your neck and back were complaining in pain.

You opened your eyes slowly, lazily blinking away the sleepiness and adjusting to the bright TV in front of you. It was some poor reporter who was talking, forced to say the less exciting news at — with a frown, you felt around on the couch until you found your cellphone — 2:47 AM, great.

Leaving your phone on the coffee table, you stretched your sore muscles, basking in the eery feeling of having only the TV and street lamps from outside as your source of light in the small hotel room.

It was a temporary situation, only until everyone could get properly settled in New York. A cheaper hotel in the outskirts of the city, the rooms weren't huge — just a small joined living room and an excuse for a kitchen, bathroom, and bedroom — but it was enough, cozy in its own simple way.

The knocking came again and brought your still drowsy body back to reality. You got up from the couch with a groan and dragged yourself to the door.

Upon turning the lock and opening the door, you regretted not doing a quicker job of greeting your late-night visitor.

Tara stood in front of you, shaking like a leaf. She wore her fluffy pink jacket, hugging it impossibly closer to her body the best way she could manage with her bandaged hand; shifting awkwardly on her feet. The dim orange light of the hallway reflected against her cheeks, allowing you to see fading tear tracks on them. Her eyes, red-rimmed and wide, were looking at you with a silent plea.

"Hey," you whispered gently, tentatively. You peeked outside to take a one-second glance to the right where the door to her and Sam's room was, "is everything okay?"

Tara's lips hovered yet she couldn't speak, a lump formed in her throat that she had to gulp back. The nightmares — memories — remained all too vivid in her mind, blurring her sight and forcing her to stifle a sob.

She came looking for her source of comfort before even fully waking up, in nothing but a mess of unsteady feet and shaky breaths.

It was unfair, that someone so innocent took the worst of it.

You reached out a hand for her with the encouragement you knew she needed, "come here."

Tara limped forward, a lone tear rolling down her cheek. Maybe because walking was still painful. She said nothing as she threw herself into your arms, soft sobs being muffled by your hoodie.

You did your best to hold her tightly and stay mindful of her still-healing injuries. One hand cradling her head, your lips brushing the shell of her ear as you whispered promises you hoped to keep.

There was an unbearable weight to your chest whenever Tara came to you in nothing but shreds of herself. Barb wire wrapping itself around your throat like a constant reminder of the permanent scars.

Sometimes you wish you could take her pain to yourself.

You felt her tears trickling down your neck when Tara buried herself into you. She sucked in a sharp breath when she accidentally pressed her injured hand too forcefully into you — yet refused to let go despite the bitter sting.

Keeping one hand around her, you used the spare one to close the door. Turning the lock, just in case.

"Let's sit down, I can make you some hot chocolate if you want," you suggested, gently swinging your bodies together from side to side.

With a sniff, Tara pulled back, using your arms for support to ease the tension on her bad leg. She gave you a soft nod with an even softer smile. It was bittersweet to see her glistening, swollen eyes trying to convey some happiness.

You took her to the couch, sitting her down on the same spot you were previously occupying. There was a fuzzy blanket that instantly became your favorite when you checked in the hotel for the first time a few nights ago; you brought it around Tara's shoulders, making sure she was all snug and warm before you turned to go to the kitchen.

Tara's eyes widened the slightest bit at the mere idea of you putting distance between you and her, it tugged at your heartstrings that something so simple got her so terrified.

You kissed her forehead and promised to be back in less than five minutes. And you did, holding a warm mug of hot chocolate between your hands.

She deserves nothing but sweetness and warmth anyway.

Before sitting down beside Tara, you took a second to yourself to take her in. She looked adorably small between the mountain of blankets and cushions; her hair was a bit of a mess, up in what was supposed to be a bun, a few strands still clinging to the cold sweat on her forehead; she was looking at the TV, but you could tell her eyes were unfocused.

Tara offered a piece of the blanket to you as soon as you were beside her, carefully taking the mug you offered. She hummed appreciatively after the first sip, allowing the sweetness to calm her nerves.

She had one hand around the mug, the other feeling between the blankets until she found yours and gingerly took it, closing her fingers around yours the best she could with the bandage on her palm.

Unbeknownst to you, you became Tara's anchor. You were the person she sought out when the memories became too much to bear. It's not often that she wants to talk about it, trying to avoid at all costs to relive all that happened — all that panic, the pain, the fear of trying to crawl away from death but knowing you're not fast enough. So most nights, you hold her, you warm her up, you try to get her to smile, you make her hot chocolate. Warm and sweet.

And it was just your mistake, that your cellphone was not muted.

Its ringing was loud in the middle of the quiet night, vibrating against the coffee table as the screen lit up with Sam's name.

Tara flinched back so forcefully that even you got startled, she spilled a bit of the hot drink on her fingers but didn't really react to it, her eyes glued to your phone. Her breathing was suddenly all over the place, too fast as she couldn't get enough air in.

You mumbled a string of curses under your breath, getting up so fast that you almost fell face-first on the floor when your feet got tangled in the blankets.

Firstly you took the mug with hot chocolate from Tara's hand, she was shaking violently and you didn't want her burning herself. Then you answered the damn phone.

"Hey… she's here, don't worry," you comforted a worried Sam, keeping your eyes on Tara.

Your heart broke all over again.

With unsteady hands, Tara scrambled for the inhaler in her pocket, doing her best to ease her breathing. The images of the TV highlighted the path her tears left behind, with more still pooling on the bottom lid of her dark eyes.

"Yeah, of course," you spoke, setting down the mug on the coffee table, "I will, bye Sam."

You sighed, feeling a wave of guilt wash over you, "hey, it's okay," you turned off your phone, making sure to put it on silent mode.

Tara tried drying off her cheeks, quiet sobs making her shoulders shake.

Your feelings escaped you and you sat down beside her, taking her into your arms, "it was just Sam, she didn't know where you were." You spoke against her hair, moving your hand up and down her back to try and ground her. "I'm so sorry," you whispered.

Tara had a white-knuckled grip on your hoodie, her lips brushing your collarbone. "I keep getting back there," there was a sudden rawness to her voice, it broke by the end and she could taste the salt of her own tears, "every time I close my eyes, or- or hear a damn phone ringing, I'm back at the hospital, at my house-" a sob interrupted her, but the feeling of your arms tightening around her kept her going, "only this time, I can't get away."

Each beating of your heart hurts against your ribs, it wants to leap out of your chest and into her hands — even this close is not close enough; even with her in your arms, you still want to protect her more. Your thumb found the corner of her lip and moved up her cheek, brushing away her tears with the pad of your finger like a promise of safety.

"I can't sleep. I'm terrified of being alone," Tara melted against you, her good hand sneaking under your hoodie to feel the warmth there, "it's almost as if I- I see her-" she cut herself off and you knew she was talking about Amber, sometimes you wondered what hurt her more; the wounds or the betrayal.

Tara took in a shaky breath, her lips quivering, "I see her in dark corners, and it- it hurts-" she cradled her bandaged hand close to her chest, striving to chase away the hurt, the memories. The small act got you holding back tears.

"Because we were- we-"

"I know," you reassured her, feeling how it was becoming increasingly harder for her to speak. You cupped her face as your lips found her cheeks and you lightly kissed away her tears. "You never deserved any of it, and I'm so sorry I couldn't stop it from happening."

The back of your throat was burning. You brushed back loose strands of her hair, admiring how the freckles over her nose took in the glow of the street lamps that sneaked through the windows; thanking every possible entity that she was here for you to do so, "I'm so sorry I wasn't there. You have no idea how scared I was of losing you."

Tara blinked her eyes open, teardrops still clinging to her eyelashes. "You're here now. As am I." She said as a reassurance both to you and herself.

Your heart bled for her and her only. It hurt just how much you felt for her, how much you loved her. Though it was the good kind of pain.

You smiled, ever so gentle with the way you took hold of her hand — because gentleness is all she deserves — and placed a kiss on each of her knuckles, your lips brushing over the white bandages on her hand.

"I hope you know you're never getting rid of me."

And Tara chuckled, all teary-eyed and fragile, the smile finally somewhat reaching her eyes. "I'm counting on it."

It felt a lot like healing. And truth was, maybe you were both a bit of a mess, but existing together made it feel like you didn't need anything else to feel whole again.

A beat passed where you two just looked at each other, both wondering if the other is feeling the same, yet not having the courage to ask.

Tara's chest was rising and falling more steadily now. Without the weight of — for lack of a better word — your trauma, the hotel room held an intimacy to it.

Her eyes drifted down to where your hand held onto hers. Where others hurt, you cared. She was looking at you as if you were everything she'd ever thirsted for; as if no one else made sense.

"You think it's already cold?" Tara tilted her head to the mug on the table, if anything, to clear the sudden timidness growing between you.

You hummed, stretching forward to grab the mug, "I don't think so," you brought it to your lips and took a sip, the sweet beverage still warm on your tongue.

Tara took it from you with a smirk threatening to appear; she leaned back on the couch, hugging the covers closer to her chest and drinking from the same spot your lips had just been.

You're not sure why it raised goosebumps on your skin.

On the TV, a random movie had been playing for a while now, you didn't care much for it as long as it worked to take Tara's mind off of things — which seemed to be working just fine. She snuggled up to you as soon as you leaned back as well, her head finding your shoulder as she kept her eyes on the pirates braving the seven seas in front of her.

You could get used to this, you decided.

"Can I stay here for the night?" Tara asked hesitantly, glancing up at you, "the rest of the night, that is."

You bumped her knee with yours. As if you'd ever say no. "Only if you promise to stay tomorrow too."

And every day after.

⋆* ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

Thank you for reading this little story. Feedback and reblogs are literally what keeps me motivated to continue posting here, so I’d appreciate it if you could take some time to reblog and comment if you want. <3

Tara’s taglist: @milkiane @v1ci0us

[bookwyrminspiration]

also thoughts on janel's gender: obviously it is not perfect and sucks how so many people perceive her as a woman i wish there was more ease with the perception of her as a man who is female, BUT cool thing- although kihrin is still figuring it out i love how he has taken it in stride. like one of few perspectives where you get to hear them ACTUALLY muse about janel's gender a bit rather than everyone referring to her as daughter, wife, woman, Something To Protect. and shaking hands with u as another genderqueer person fr. the thing of gender in jorat seems so interesting to expand on though even with it's flaws i am chewing on it like one of those honey straws? like if anyone can be a mare or stallion then it is really more about the distribution of respect and the roles that people have in a culture, so it made a lot of sense for her to--obviously she kind of had to but--to accept her role as a woman with the marakori because of the matriarchal society, whereas with people who actually understand the weight of what she is she's much less lenient (also does she think teraeth knows?? is it the memory of her life as elana?? is it just the disrespect that bothers her??? obviously other things too he is more of a punching bag but where's the irritation Coming From). where do the geldings fit into all this? how do they function as a third gender? do they function as a third gender or is it just the catch-all in the way that nonbinary is? *holding up mic to random gelding character in the far background* and what is it like to be a gelding in jorat my good sir

This reminds me, the chorus of dragons wiki (which is not maintained or up to date, it stops like mid book 2 and was worked on by like one person) has Janel listed as a woman. I should do something about that. Maybe I should offer my services to the wiki, whatever that would entail

I have a mutual who reblogged one of the asks you sent me talking about Jorat's gender and how it would've been nice to see more of it (I swear they said something even though I can't find that rn, I'm certain they said something). We spend so much time outside of Jorat in the story without much contact with any Joratese (it's mainly Janel with some Dorna), so we don't get to see their beliefs in action as a community. Instead we see Janel having problems being properly viewed as a female man in the rest of the world, as people presume her a woman everywhere. Which is realistic to what she would encounter leaving her country and going places with very different beliefs, it just would've been fun to see more of Jorat and a widespread disconnect of gender and sex.

But I do appreciate Kihrin for actually taking the time to think about it. He doesn't brush her off, he's like wow that's very different from what I was taught and a lot to wrap my head around. it'll take some time to get used to, but I'll put in the time and be conscious of my perception of her even though I won't be perfect about it. Because shaking your hand as a genderqueer person, that's all I want! I don't need you to be perfect about it, I need you to put in the effort and just try. and he does!

Poor teraeth though, he would try if someone would just tell him what's going on. He just doesn't understand because you haven't TOLD him Janel. He's not treating you with the respect you believe you deserve because you haven't told him how your culture works and he wasn't raised in it! He doesn't know you see his actions as disrespectful he is instead trying very very hard to woo you and be nice. Shaking them all please communicate. Janel you understand some people don't understand you're not a woman, you spent four years living in Yor as a "woman"--did that grate and now your touchier about it now that you're out? Or is it just because this is Teraeth? A lot happened in these books I haven't reread them yet the specifics are eluding me, I can't recall what was said about it

Anyway, the geldings! Wish we could've met one, but alas, we weren't in Jorat for long enough and we don't have many Joratese characters. My understanding is it's a catch-all term? Though I am curious what identifies someone as a gelding, because it seems like people in Jorat can tell whether you're a mare or a stallion based on their perception of you and your actions. So are there gelding-specific actions, or are they a mix of mare and stallion actions? Holding a mic up to the entire country of Jorat

[romiantic]

𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐆

⇢ ˗ˏˋ 𝒓𝒚𝒐𝒕𝒂 𝒌𝒊𝒔𝒆 𝒙 𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒓!𝒃𝒍𝒂𝒄𝒌!𝒇𝒆𝒎!𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓 ࿐ྂ

彡 ❛ 𝐚 𝐧𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚 𝐛𝐞𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐞 ❜

彡 𝗳𝘁. ryota kise

彡 𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗿𝗲: fluff with very little angst

彡 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁: 2.3k

彡 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: suggestive theme at the end

彡 𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗵𝗼𝗿’𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲: all characters are 18+. also can we talk about how BOMB this song is 🤧 y’all sleepin on this song fr

·˚ ༘ੈ✩‧₊˚ ╰┈➤ ❛❛ 𝙄 𝙇𝙊𝙑𝙀 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝙒𝘼𝙔 𝙔𝙊𝙐 𝘿𝙊 𝙄𝙏 ❜❜

❝ 𝐘/𝐍 𝐇𝐔𝐑𝐑𝐘 𝐘𝐎 𝐀𝐒𝐒 𝐔𝐏! You have two minutes till showtime.” Your manager, AKA, older brother, barged and announced to you like he didn’t update you almost five minutes ago.

You did your usual of sucking your teeth and rolling your teeth every time he barged in and interrupted your call, you replied with annoyance in your tone, “AJ I know! Can you wait a minute? Damn, so impatient for absolutely no reason.”

“I’m sorry who’s the one with hundreds of thousands of fans screaming their name and waiting for their ass outside? Me or you? Oh okay. Anyways, end yo little call with yo boyfr-”

“He’s not my boyfriend!” You interrupted, becoming irritated with your brother and simply wanted him to shut the fuck up. A great manager and brother, yet way too uptight for his job.

AJ rolled his eyes and muttered something but you flipped him off and pretended not to hear him until he left your dressing room. You gave your attention back to your phone, giving a cheeky smile to the blonde boy on your screen. From the corner of his eye, he noticed a nervous look growing on you but from what you could tell, he was choosing what shirt to wear to his photoshoot. Leaving him to be seen with a no top on and a pair of denim jeans.

Though it was typical to see your best friend’s exposed upper body, it was a sight you never got used to. His well-toned body, results from years of playing basketball in middle and high school, making your face hot, adding on to the nervousness you were already facing from your upcoming performance. Along with the pearly white smile he flashed at you creating a sick feeling in your stomach, something that you made you clench onto it and try to ignore. Now was not the time to be drooling over your best friend, who interrupted your stare with a laugh and said, “Are you gonna keep staring or are you gonna take a picture?”

Of course, he’d ruin it with some cocky line like that, you rolled your eyes and sucked your teeth. “Boy calm down, ain’t nobody wanna was staring.”

“Your nervous face said otherwise.”

“Akekeke, don’t you have a photoshoot to go to?”

Kise replied with the same energy as yours, “And don’t you have a performance to go to?”

You held up a finger to a screen then crossed your arms, “Aht aht, don’t worry about me now. Worry about yo lil pictures with that famous ass Russian model.” You wanted to roll your eyes just thinking about the brought-up woman but it would make it seem like you’re being jealous for no reason.

Kise let out a small laugh, adoring the irritated look that was starting to creep up on your face. “Somebody sounds jealous.”

You rolled your eyes and let out a scoff, “Oh please, like I would be.” You looked at the time on your watch and noticed it was about one minute until your performance. Your eyes widened at the time and hurried, you quickly ended the call with Kise, “Shit, fuck! I gotta go perform but I’ll call you back when I’m done.”

“And I’ll be waiting for you beautiful when you get back.” The golden-eyed boy winked at you yet you cringed and scrunched your face. “You’re so fucking corny Kise.” You hung up the call, grab any other pieces missing from your outfit, and headed out of your dressing room.

You traveled quickly around backstage, passing by many coworkers and background dancers waiting for you, to head into the small tunnel for artists to come out on stage. You stopped at the exit and gulped as you scanned the stage. An outside arena with hundreds of thousands of fans cheering your name, waiting for your appearance.

Usually, you would be at ease with concerts this large but for some reason this time is different. Unknowing the reason nor cause, you started to feel anxious, your hands mildly shaking and your throat going dry.

There was something in the back of your mind attempting to not make you perform, something telling you to not do it, it won’t be good, people will hate you. A voice there to influence thoughts, hoping that you would fall into the trap and just give up on singing. Though of course, you wouldn’t listen to that voice, that voice always lingered around whenever you were brought to perform, no matter where you were.

The only thing to distract you and keep you safe from that tiny voice is someone who you’ve longed to love. One who just settles your nerves, bringing comfort, and removing all anxious thoughts. One who would deem you as one of the greatest artists he’s ever listened to, maybe it’s opinionated but he loves you too much to disagree.

The now dawdling thought of his soft voice whenever he spoke or his flirtatious nature when you two joked around made a familiar feeling grow greater than before. Something replaced the anxiousness that was growing, a feeling that replaced the nervousness and calmed your shaky hands. Something that was the thought of Ryota Kise, he was like the medicine to all the pain you’ve suffered. A remedy to your anxiety, one of the many causes of the cheeky smile social media often sees you with.

Someone who you grew up and spent all your life with, always noticing how protective he was of you or the way he hummed one of your pre-recorded tracks that he was the only one to listen to. Celebrating one of your songs had hit #1 on the Billboard chart and the way he helped out whenever you hit writer’s block.

Every single thing, noticeable or not, made you grown to love the boy, starting from a platonic, playground friendship blooming to many years of trying to figure out if you are romantically in love with him. Growing familiar feelings of butterflies mixed with the thought of just wanting to cup his face and kiss him whenever he was around.

Just the ultimate feeling of wanting to be buried in the blonde boy’s arms and explain the blooming love for him made you want to sing the song you wrote for him. A new single that you never wanted to put out since you wanted only Kise to hear it, including that the song was your way of telling him what you felt all these years.

Though something changed your mind, something in your brain told you to tell everyone around you that you’re singing solo, no backup singers or dancers, only you on that stage. In this performance, you just had to do it yourself, nothing but you, the stage, and the microphone.

Everyone was confused by the last-minute change of plans but went along with it. They rescheduled it to where your first “official” song to start the concert with was right after your solo performance. You gave thanks to your team and took some deep breaths. You made sure your Bluetooth set was on and working properly in your ear, AJ handed you a mic and brushed off any wrinkling from your outfit and any smoothed out your hair. Uptight about his job yet made sure his little sister was looking the greatest for her performances.

You took deep breaths again, shook off any bad nerves, and walked on stage. The already excited crowd enraged and their volume expanded as they saw you stand before them. Everyone waving their signs that said, “I love you y/n!!” or “Y/N is so beautiful!” You waved to the audience and stopped at the middle of the stage, walking closer to the front of the stage as well.

You turned on the mic and tapped it to see if it was working, “Mic check one two, can you guys hear me?” The crowd immediately responded yes, you continued on to talk to them, “Okay good, have been getting technical difficulties with my mic and I really don’t feel like switching mics three times. Anyways, afternoon to all my lovely fans who made it out here or to those that are watching me live. I love you all and thank you for supporting me, I truly am grateful for every single one of y’all.” Everyone screamed out how much they love you and adore you, showing off their merch that they bought and waving the homemade posters.

You smiled at their response and cleared your throat as you introduced the song, “Thank you, I love you too. This first song is one that has been sitting too comfortably in my heart. A piece that came from genuine emotions and feelings I’ve tried to bury yet couldn’t no matter how hard I tried. It’s something that I never planned on dropping but I just felt like the world had to hear what I had to say. Hopefully, you guys enjoy it cause I did when I was writing this song at two in the morning before I snuck into the studio and recorded it. Was it worth it? Definitely. Now I may introduce to you, Not Another Love Song. A contradicting title isn’t it?”

You took a large breath in and out, you took a position as you waited for the beat to drop. As soon as you heard the familiar melody start, you sang, “I don’t wanna mess this up, could it be too much to say I’m in?”

The crowd lowered down and became silent to hear your new single, grasping the beautiful new lyrics you were singing and just vibing along with it.

You yourself were placing emotion as you sang, not noticing how proudly you sang the chorus or how you were smiling at the crowd the entire time. One thing was clouding your mind to even pay attention to those details, the same thing that more than likely pushed you to sing the song.

As you sang, the feelings for your best friend grew stronger, butterflies in your stomach, and the deprivation of his touch grew on you. Not even realizing how much you missed him until you turned initially to smile at AJ and your team yet saw a familiar face appear as well. You questioned it but then turned back to continue singing to the audience, only thinking that mind is playing games with you.

“I'm finna take my time, my mind, my rules. This ain't no crimе makin' love to you, though you ain't say this. But I had a hard time waitin' for you, boy. Like ooh, boy, you, boy. Got me where you want, just gotta say and it's on, it's like, ooh, boy, do you know you got me like where do you go when you're alone?”

As you sang, you noticed the crowd growing silent, their eyes widening, and their jaws dropping. You were utterly confused at was catching their attention, you turned to your team and your brother pointed behind, giving you a goofy smile as well.

You turned around to what was the cause of this silent commotion and right along with everyone else, your jaw drop and your eyes widened. The flirtatious, handsome model that everyone knew of was standing in front of you with a bouquet of roses in his hand. He walked up to you and smiled greatly, closing in the large gap between the both of you.

Seeing him walk closer to you made you want to say forget concert and sing the rest to him. Half of your feeling was already poured out, not even knowing he was listening to all of it. You didn’t think he would even be here since he had a photoshoot, not standing on an outside stage with a bouquet of roses and dressed in casual attire.

He handed you the roses and kissed your forehead, telling you, “Alone with you, away from the world, where else would I be when I’m alone?”

No response came from you, not even a single gasp or a sniffle to signify that you might cry. The way you responded to his presence was something that shocked the arena, everyone watching you on live, your team, and even the two of you yourself. Who would’ve thought you would be bold enough to grab his face and kiss him right then and there? You snaked your arm around his waist and pulled him closer to deepen the kiss. He responded back by wrapping his hands around your shoulders and hugging you tightly, holding onto you to make sure you wouldn’t separate from him.

You pulled back from the kiss and smiled, softly combed his blonde hair, and expressed, “I love you, Kise.” Saying his name like it was something you’ve been aching to say, a name that you’ve buried away yet brought out today. A name that sounded so lovely and romantic when you say it.

Kise expressed as well, “I love you too y/n. I’ve always loved you and I will never stop loving you.” He kissed you again, he removed his hand from your shoulders and trailed around to find your hands. He removed your hands from his waist and instead intertwined them with his.

He felt you smile when he held your hand and smiled back. He stated in between kisses, “You know I’m staying on this stage to hear you finish that song right?”

“It’s fine, I need someone to do my next performance on anyways.” He looked at you and you did nothing but wink and mischievously smiled at him. Kise had a small idea of what he could expect but suppressed it to enjoy the soft moment he wanted between the both of you. A moment that he’ll never forget and a concert that will always be remembered for everyone around you.

彡 it’s like 5 am and I’m tired 🦧 the only thing that kept me up was the fact that I don’t have school plus I loveeeeee kise

彡 also the show olivia

彡 I don’t think I ever mentioned to y’all how much I love his ass but now is definitely not the time 😁

彡 I’m convinced if it silent black hair blue eye powerful men weren’t my type, cocky and flirtatious ones would be runner up

彡 anyways hope you guys enjoy + pleaseee listen to the song, I highly recommend plus ella mai is VERY underrated

bye babes, drink your water, stay hydrated, and remember that you are the baddest bitch on the planet 🥰 no matter what ANYONE says

𝐏𝐬𝐚𝐥𝐦 𝟏𝟖:𝟑𝟎 💗

© 𝟤𝟢𝟤𝟣 𝗄𝗈𝗂𝗌𝗁𝗂𝗀𝗎𝗋𝗈. 𝖺𝗅𝗅 𝗋����𝗀𝗁𝗍𝗌 𝗋𝖾𝗌𝖾𝗋𝗏𝖾𝖽

[rhetoricalrogue]

31 Days of Wayhaven, Day 28

Prompt: Vengeful Rating: PG for kissin’ Words: 2,873 Characters: Winona Adams, Falk Summary: Things apparently go very wrong before going very, very right.

For the @31daysofwayhaven event.  Also, an early birthday present to @ejunkiet, seeing as she’s the one responsible for getting me hooked on the mirror man! 

Winona didn’t quite know how she stumbled back to her little Agency safehouse, and not for the first time, she was grateful that she didn’t have any neighbors.  She made it to her bathroom on shaky legs and tried her best to not look in the mirror as she ran the taps as hot as they would go.

Blood dripped from her mouth, staining her teeth and gums a frightening red.  It made a trail from her mouth down to her chin and throat, staining the neckline of her dress. 

She ripped it off and threw it as far as she could, the material making a muted slap against the shower curtain.  Winona made a faint sobbing noise as she grabbed a washcloth and scrubbed at the blood, not caring that the water was almost scalding.  Satisfied that she had all of it off, she gave her steamed up mirror a fearful glance before backing away from the bathroom - and the mirror - as fast as she could.

“Please, please…” Winona gripped the phone in her hand so hard she was surprised it didn’t crack the case.  Another sob bubbled up her throat and she clamped a shaking hand over her mouth, but she wasn’t fast enough.

“What’s wrong?” Cam’s deep, accented voice sliced through her heart like a blade and she ached at being so far away from her team, from her family. “Are you hurt?”

“I fucked up,” she told him, not even bothering to hide the tears.  “I ruined everything.”

There was a rustle of sheets along the line and she winced again, realizing that it was late where she was, which meant it was extremely early by Facility times.  “Winona, breathe.  Calm down.”  Cam paused and Winona heard him take a few deep breaths, her chest rising and falling in time with them.  “Tell me what happened, tell me how I can help.”

Winona kicked off her shoes and crawled into bed only in her underwear.  She gripped the phone in one hand and pulled the mass of blankets close to her with the other.  “I kissed him.  It was wrong.”  She sniffled.  “So I bit him.”

She caught the groggy sound of a woman’s voice in the background and heard Cam murmur something to whoever was in bed with him, but she couldn’t tell who it was.  Somewhere underneath her own anguish, she felt a pang of grief for Penny.  “Wait.  Kissed who?  Bit who?”

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes.  “Falk.”  They’d been fighting, which wasn’t anything unusual, seeing as his need for vengeance and her lack of leads were clashing more and more as the days went on into weeks.  Tempers had finally boiled over and he accused her of dragging her feet so he and his people could stay under the Agency’s thumb.  She’d yelled back that she was trying to find the remaining trappers who had attacked them and killed Sanja but he wasn’t doing much to help except demand outrageous results when she didn’t have much to go on.  Then perhaps you aren’t as capable of an agent as I believed you to be.  The cold way he had told her that made something inside her snap so she puffed herself up to her full height and jabbed her finger at his chest as he loomed over her.  She didn’t remember exactly what she had said, but it hadn’t been much before he grabbed at her shoulders and pressed his mouth to hers.

It had been a wild kiss, the likes of which she hadn’t felt in the longest time - not since Nelros, her traitorous brain supplied - one that made her feel as if she were in the middle of a maelstrom, skin tingling wherever his hands roamed.  She had relaxed in his arms, body melting against his, before it registered just what was happening.

The Agency had forbidden her from feeding off humans during her exile as punishment.  They also hadn’t supplied her with a volunteer to feed from.  The last time she had partaken in absorbing a lover’s pleasure to regain her own vitality had been weeks before the incident in the interrogation room, and that incident had left her even more sapped of energy.  It was no wonder she was constantly tired all the time and it was difficult for her to focus.  She was starving to the point where one kiss from Falk had felt like a sudden oasis in a barren desert.

It had also been wrong of her, and she was certain that he would realize what was going on and be disgusted or even more angry at her than he already was.  She’d tried to break away when his mouth moved from hers to trail searing hot kisses against her throat - and oh, how that had made trying to move away difficult! - a no finally coming out as she tried to wiggle her way out of his grasp.

It hadn’t worked.  Her pheromones must have been in overdrive, because it seemed as if any attempt to get away only spurred him on.  So she did the one thing she thought to do: the next time he kissed her, she bit him hard enough to draw blood and kept her teeth clamped on his lip until the pain registered and he shoved her out of his lap, his hand covering his mouth as the wounds sluggishly healed.

“I’m sorry,” was the last thing she said before she turned tail and ran, which led her to where she was no, half-naked and trembling underneath a pile of blankets, her friend’s voice at her ear trying his best to calm her down as she sobbed.

“And now everything is ruined,” she cried, curling up into a tight ball.  “Falk will alert the Agency, they’ll pull me from this, and I’ll never be able to rejoin our unit.”

“Sweetheart, you can’t know…”

“I’m so tired, Cam,” she dragged the blankets close.  “All I wanted was to get this assignment done and now I’ve ruined everything and I’ll never be able to come home.”  

“Where are you?  The Agency didn’t give us your coordinates.  Tell me where you are and I’ll be over as soon as I possibly can.”

Winona shook her head, even though she knew he couldn’t see the motion.  “I can’t.  I’m already the reason the team was demoted, I’m not going to be the reason you get punished further.”

“Fuck punishments.  You’re hurting and I need to help you.  Tell me where you are, please.”  There was a pause where Winona could hear Cam getting dressed and she felt even more guilty for upsetting him.

“No, Cam.  I need to face this on my own. I just...I just needed to hear your voice one more time.”

“Winona, please. Dinnae do this.”

“I love you, I love all of you very much.  You’re my family, I hope you know that.”

“Winona -!”  She didn’t let him finish before she hung up on him and clicked her phone off.

“Goodbye, Cam.”  She wrapped her arms around herself and decided she was going to allow herself one night to wallow in grief before contacting Falk and facing whatever consequences her actions had made.  Sitting up, she rubbed at her cheeks, belatedly realizing that she must look a mess, her mascara dripping down her face and her eyes puffy. 

She would have made it to the bathroom to wipe away the last of the makeup she hadn’t cried off when she came face to face with Falk as he entered the hallway from the living room, obviously coming in from the mirror hanging there.  “I didn’t think you would want to see me so soon,” she said, taking a step backwards towards her room.

“You’re frightened of me.”  He took a step towards her before stopping, the hand he extended to try to touch her falling limply back to his side.

She pushed her shoulders back and raised her chin.  If she were to die there in the hallway, teary-eyed and wearing nothing but a cute matching bra and panty set, then she was going to go out as dignified as she could be, damn it. “I injured you, you have every right to demand retribution.”

Falk’s hand went to his lip, his fingers brushing against where her teeth had drawn blood.  While the wounds had closed up and disappeared, his bottom lip was still slightly swollen and bruised looking.  “You told me no.  You told me to stop.  I did not.”  She wished that she could read his eyes, but the thin gold rings around pitch black sclera told her nothing.  “I came to apologize, Winona.”

She must have made some sound, because he took several more steps towards her.  She flinched when the backs of his fingers touched her cheek, traced the line of ruined mascara.  “I did this,” he said, his voice hoarse and eyebrows pinched.  His eyes widened and she felt the prickle of magic dance across her skin before he lifted his hand away from her.  “You have no reason to be, why are you heaping guilt upon your shoulders?”

“It was my fault,” she argued, her hand going towards the power dampening bracelet she never went without.  “Had I not been what I am, you wouldn’t have -”

He cut her off.  “Wouldn’t have been intrigued by you?  Wouldn’t have lain awake at night wondering how someone I had barely met could fill my thoughts?”  He frowned.  “It’s true, the magic that lingers around you has somewhat of a draw on me, but Winona, your powers have little effect on me.  I kissed you because I wanted to, not because your abilities forced me to.”

“I’m slow to give you the results you need.  You were right: I’m not the agent best suited for this job.  There are so many others who would have already accomplished the task you gave them,” she squared her shoulders again.  “But unfortunately, you’re stuck with me.”

“And apparently you’re stuck with me.”  He tipped his head to the side, silver hair slipping across his shoulder.  “You were speaking with someone when I came through the mirror.  I couldn’t help but overhear parts of your conversation.  Why is it that you cannot leave?”

Her eyes looked down at the carpet, ashamed that he had heard her emotional outburst with Cam.  “There was an incident with a suspect I was interrogating,” she told him.  “Something went wrong and as punishment, my superiors gave me your case.  I think they knew that you were angry and while you had parted ways with the Agency on peaceful terms, there was enough distrust between you and my organization to cause some friction between us.  I was instructed to remain here until you were pleased with your accommodations the Agency supplied and to show that you can trust us.  While not instructed to introduce another peace treaty to you, I believe that they hoped I could gain your trust so that sometime in the future, that option would be open for discussion.”

He stroked his chin thoughtfully.  “And they told you to do whatever it took to make me happy so that your mission would be a success, I gather?”

Winona nodded.  “Which was why you agreed so readily to helping me hunt these trappers down?”  She nodded again, listening as he made a noise deep in his throat as he processed the information.  “Your Agency, did they make accommodations for you?  You’ve been pale and drawn lately, your attention wandering.  I’ll be blunt: have you not sustained yourself?”

She seemed to shrink inwards, her shoulders rounding.  “No.  As part of my punishment, my superiors forbade me to partake in human pleasures.”

His frown deepened.  “And when was the last time that you did so?”

“Nearly a month ago.  I can go without for quite some time.”

Falk arched an eyebrow.  “And yet it seems as if you are at the end of that reserve.”  He took another step towards her, the gap between them next to nothing.  “Tell me, little firebrand, did your Agency forbid you from seeking the comfort of fellow supernatural individuals?”

“Falk, no.”

He reached out, his fingers sliding through her hair.  “And why not?”

“Because…” She tipped her head up and looked him in the eye.  “I refuse to sleep with you as purely a...a...business transaction.”

“It would be mutually beneficial to us.  You would regain the energy that you’ve lacked and I would gain an agent who was back at their best.”

“So, you do see me as only a tool for your vengeance.”

“You knew what I wanted from the moment you agreed to help me.  You know what I want to do to those people who wronged me and mine.”  He leaned down and Winona had to close her eyes at the feel of his breath against her cheeks.  “Yet I do not see you as a tool to be used and thrown aside, Winona.  You have captivated me in ways I had tried to avoid, especially after losing one so dear to me.”

“I…”

“Tell me that my advances are unwelcome and I’ll step back and be nothing but professional towards you.  You have nothing to fear from me, I wasn’t going to contact the Agency before I came here and I won’t be contacting the Agency on what transpired tonight after I leave.  I have no desire to be the reason why you cannot return to the people you care so much about.”

Winona took a breath and tentatively reached out to trace the gold embroidery on his jacket.  “And if I told you that your advances were welcome?  What then?”

He sucked in a breath as her fingers went from the open jacket to the thin tunic he wore underneath, the warmth from her fingers sinking through the fabric to the skin underneath.  “Are they welcome?”  His hand cupped her cheek and she sighed before swaying towards him.  “Not as a means to an end, but as genuine interest?”

“Yes,” she whispered, opening her eyes from where they had slid shut at his touch.  She looked at him, her lips turning downward in confusion, when he pressed a kiss to her forehead and then moved away, even though it looked as if taking a single step away from her was a step too far away.  “Falk?”

“It’s been a long night,” he explained.  “You’re tired and I’m mostly to blame.  I should let you rest.”  Falk paused when Winona reached for his hand.  He gave her a soft smile as he laced his fingers with hers.

“Wait.”  She gently tugged at his hand and looked up at him pleadingly.  “Would you stay?  At least until I fell asleep?”

She watched as his expression turned soft, his lips turning upwards into a fond smile.  “I have nothing on my schedule keeping me from staying until you fall asleep,” he teased, bringing their joined hands up to his lips to kiss her knuckles.  “And I don’t see anything keeping me from staying and being here when you wake either.”

Winona smiled up at him, but then froze.  “I look a mess,” she told him, wiggling her hands out of his grasp so she could wipe at her face. “And I’m not in my pajamas.”

“I think you look beautiful.”  His eyes moved appreciatively down her body.  “And I happen to like your sleepwear.”

She rolled her eyes.  “Give me a moment to clean myself up, okay?”  She gestured to the bedroom doorway.  “Make yourself at home.”

It didn’t take her long to wash her face and do away with her bra to slip into the oversized t-shirt she had set aside to sleep in, the soft, dark gray material comforting.  When she got back to the bedroom, Falk had divested himself of his shoes and jacket, and was in the process of pulling his tunic over his head.

“You’re staring,” he accused, shirt obscuring his vision.

“And you’re preening,” she shot back, watching as he flexed the muscles in his abdomen before whipping the shirt over his head.

“I couldn’t help myself, not when I have such a lovely admirer.”  He waited until she picked her side of the bed before sliding under the sheets, arms open for her to curl up against him.  Unable to help herself, Winona cupped his face in her hand and pressed the softest of kisses against his mouth, swiping her tongue against his bottom lip, partly because she could, and partly as an apology for earlier.

“Sleep,” he whispered, affectionately nudging his nose against hers.  “And perhaps dream of me?”

She smiled, exhaustion from the day catching up with her.  “Only if you do the same.”

“Ah, Winona. Unistan Sinust nii päeval kui õõl.”  Seeing as she hadn’t understood him when he lapsed into Estonian in the past, he was prepared to tease her with a non-answer when she asked him what he had said, but found out that she was already asleep.  He gathered her closer in his arms and pressed a kiss to the top of her head.  “Sleep easy.  Sa oled mulle nii kallis.”

[blackgwenstacy]

rolling with it (new girl au)

who’s that girlllllll (who’s that girl?) it’s piper, actually

bro, if piper had to room with anyone from the pjo-verse, leo, percy, and travis were definitely the most chaotic trio i could come up with

zero percent plot, one hundred percent self indulgent. here’s the ao3 link. it has the tags and characters and other important stuff lmao

“You know, I’ve been doing some introspection, and I just have to face it,” Piper starts, sitting forward and placing her chin in her palm. “I have horrible taste in men. I mean, I rearrange my whole life to revolve around Dylan, only for him to cheat on me with the girl he knows I couldn’t stand in high school. I should’ve seen that one coming. ‘Oh, we’re just lab partners, Piper. Nothing for you to worry about.’ Oh yeah, me walking in on her wearing my silk kimono robe that I got as a bid day gift seven years later is totally nothing for me to worry about.”

Piper finishes her overly long tirade with a sarcastic laugh, crossing her arms and leaning back in her chair. The three men on the other side of the kitchen island watch her in silence, a shared look of confusion on their faces.

“Wait,” Piper sits up again, “what was the question?”

One of them gives an awkward cough. “…What do you do for a living?”

“Oh,” Piper says. Her faces goes warm. “I work at an animal shelter.”

The tallest one furrows their brow. “You got a silk kimono robe as a bid day gift?”

“It had ‘ADPi' on the back and everything. I have to burn it now.”

He whistles. “That’s fucked up.”

The man with black hair and vibrant green eyes leans forward onto the counter. “Look—sorry, what was your name again?”

“Piper,” she says miserably.

He nods, putting a hand on his chest. “Percy. Piper, are you sure you’d be. . . okay rooming with us? Like, three adult men?”

“Well, I wouldn’t room with three underaged men. That’d be like. . .weird,” she comments, and then immediately resists the urge to slap her forehead.

The curly haired one wearing a green flannel and stained white tank top snorts into his hand.

Piper clears her throat. “It’s fine, it’s totally fine. I love men.” An awkward pause. “ . .in a non-heterosexual way. Well, yes that way because I swing that way but like, in a platonic way. In a roommate way. Men are. . . great.”

“Your latest tweet says ‘men are trash fr’ with two cry laughing emojis,” the tall one remarks, squinting at his phone. His eyebrows raise in surprise. “It has 3k retweets and 10k likes.”

Flannel-boy leans over to peer at the phone screen. “How the hell is it so easy for people to go viral on that app?”

His roommate smirks. “Tweetdecking. I do it all the time. Such easy clout.”

“I wasn’t tweetdecking.” Piper bitterly mutters. “I was just saying what everyone else was thinking.”

Percy gives his roommates a dirty look. Piper's kind of surprised she's not on the other end of it the way this is going. “Travis, why are you stalking her on Twitter?”

“Background checking, dude.”

“How did you even find it?”

“His lurk game is insane,” flannel-boy says.

“She’s right in front of us!” Percy widens his eyes, exasperated.

Piper gives a small wave to emphasize Percy’s point. “Hi.”

The other two barely acknowledge that she said anything. Travis lifts both his hands in defense. “Look, I’m just making sure she’s not crazy or anything—“

“I’m not,” Piper insists. Though if he continues to scroll through her Twitter profile she figures why he might come to a different conclusion. “I’m not crazy. Nowhere on the DSM-5. Totally normal. Plus, it’ll be like I’m not even here. Trust me. I work most days, and on top of that, I have depressive episodes where I isolate myself in my room for weeks.”

The three of them wear a concerned look. She bites the inside of her cheek, realizing that she may have pled her case a bit too much.

“Okay, maybe a little bit on the DSM-5. Look, I know I’m a girl and that will throw the natural balance of things for a little bit, but I swear I’m chill! Basically one of the guys.”

“Bruh girl,” flannel-boy interjects. “I’ve dated one of those. Not gonna lie, I prefer the ones who use the pouty face emoji.”

Piper’s eyes flit between the three of them in confusion. “What are we talking about?”

Percy glares at his roommate. “Ignore Leo, he’s an idiot.”

Leo makes a comment about comparing SAT scores. Travis shakes his head at him and points at one of three jars that sit on fireplace mantel. “Douchebag. Douchebag. We’re literally college grads, who cares about SAT scores?”

Leo grumbles to himself as he crosses toward the fireplace. They watch as Leo reaches into his pocket, pulls out a crumpled dollar and shoves it into the jar labeled ‘Douchebag.’ Instead of rejoining them in the kitchen, Leo throws himself onto the living room sofa.

Piper laughs nervously, not sure how react with this established dynamic. Percy picks up on her discomfort and gives her a sympathetic look.

“Are you sure you don’t wanna room with other girls?”

Piper frowns, twiddling her thumbs. “I’m rooming with other girls right now. My old sorority sister is letting me stay with her. She’s a model and so are her roommates. I hate it.”

Leo abruptly sits up, raising his eyebrows in interest. “How soon can you move in?”

[saltyslack-toast]

#Knock The Book 2: The Devil All the Time

WELL, I MADE IT TO THE 2nd BOOK REVIEW OF MINE, MEANS THAT I’M A PASSIONATE AND PERSISTENT BITCH, PERIODT. No actually I’m just bored and got really nothing to do, so here I am making judgmental, invalid and uncritical book review just to ease my guilt for doing nothing at home (just so my mom see me working through my laptop).

Okay The Devil All the Time is actually my first English book. The story of how I got this book as a matter of fact is quite irritating and funny at the same time. My uni friend, she saw this book in a modest book bazaar near her hometown. She was reading the title and the word ‘devil’ just remind her of me, she bought it and just gave it straight to me…... I’m sad but like thankful???

It’s a secondhand and hardcover book but I don’t really mind, considering the fact that the quality is still very nice though, except the worn spots stained all over the cover that make the book looks very old. My friend bought this only for RP 25.000, yes dude you’re not misread this shit, it was THAT CHEAP (whoever sell and own this book before me, I really appreciate it). Although if you want to buy the new one, you can get this book for USD 26.95 which converted in rupiah would be RP 407.500, yeah its cost pretty fancy for broke students like us and I don’t know if the book’s supposed to be available in your local bookstore but I think you can find it in worldwide shipping online store like amazon or any other shop perhaps. The book’s cover illustrate a dying white mutt hanging on the ‘log’ and bunch of cross everywhere, the cover is actually make sense when you read the book. It published in 2011 by doubleday in United States of America. The Author is Donald Ray Pollock, and you can find the sum information about his background written on the cover, but based form the book’s cover you can also check his website in donaldraypollock.com but when I checked, I’m not sure if it’s really his website since it just like pest control website (LMAOO I HAD NO IDEA FR). Anyway,

Let’s go breaking down the book!

“… Too much religion could be as bad as too little, maybe even worse, but moderation was just not in her husband’s nature”

The whole story in this book, basically give you portraits regarding the life of lunatics in the time after WWII. Nope, there is no sums up about the events happened in that moment so chill y’all non-historical enthusiast bitches. This book gonna give you a bizarre experience reading it, the first 10 pages of this book was already psychedelic, I assure that shit. Have you watched Games of Thrones series on HBO? It’s chilling right how Ned Stark, the protagonist of the main series died in the first season???? EXACTLY that was the vibes u got after reading the first chapter and get crazier every time u read forward. By the way, this book embodied 7 chapters and 55 sub-chapters, the chapter in odd and even numbers has 2 different main focuses on each characteristic exist, here I sum it up for you:

On the odd numbers chapters (1, 3, and so on), the central story of these chapters is circling among the family of Willard Russel, his Mom Emma and Uncle Earskell and also those 2 insane peeps Roy Laferty and Theodore. Willard Russel used to be a navy army and a bit skeptical dealing with religion issues just like his uncle, but his mom has always been a devoted worshiper. Willard married to the beautiful and kind-hearted women named Charlotte and they was given a son named Arvin Eugene Russel, everything was normal until Charlotte got sick and Willard gone crazy praying to god for his wife’s recovery and poor little Arvin has to suffer the predicament by his own self. Their stories always give me religious-fanaticism-gloomy vibes (is that even make sense??). Don’t even get me started with the life stories of the two brutes-ass man, Roy Laferty and Theodore they were used to be ‘preacher’ in Emma and young Willard’s Church. Nothing I could say further because it’s gonna be a major spoiler for you, but their stories really giving you insights of how frustration and fanaticism allow people to do something beyond their common sense.

“You remember what I told you the other day?” He asked Arvin

“About the boys on the bus?,”

“Well, that’s what I meant, you just got to pick the right time”

On the even numbers chapters (2, 4, and so on), the main tales is pertaining on the journey of Handerson couple, Carl and Sandy. They were like the Bonnie and Clyde but sad and exploitative version in this book. Carl is a ‘photographer’ and sandy working as a waitress in a café called Wooden Spoon (Which the place where Charlotte used to work as a waitress and the place she met Willard for the first time as well). During summertime they got this ‘ritual’ ((but not in a religious way)) where they drive to different states and give a ride to the hitchhikers found on the way, then Carl forcefully offer them to fuck Sandy for free (HIS OWN WIFE) while he took pictures of them fucking and after that Carl kill them and take all the money those hitchhikers got in their pocket (dude I can’t even judge anything). But to be honest, I’m not a fan of these two characters because they were all so ANNOYING to death. And then there is Bodecker Lee who’s a police and also Sandy’s brother, ok that’s it, I’m not gonna give you any spoilers.

“… He went down the street and sat on a bench in a park the rest of the day thinking about killing himself instead. Something broke in him that day. For the first time he could see that his whole life added up to absolutely nothing…”

You might be confused since there are quite a lot of keen characters in this book but there’s a point where all these bitches are relating to each other, so chill y’all impatient gripe-ass. Overall, the flow of the story is undoubtedly interesting for you to keep going throughout the whole story, because every phase gonna make you wondering about next things happened to them. But, the transitions among every chapters is quite uncomfortable for me, because sometimes when the story has reached its climax there is no resolutions coming to solve the problem immediately, and you’re faced to read the new chapter with a whole different setting and characters so it’s kind of ruining the vibes and emotions the book has made me, but again this just my personal preference so please don’t judge (while everything I did right now is judging inaccurately).

“He realized that he would never preach again, but that was all right. He’d never been much good at it anyway. Most people just wanted to hear the cripple play”

However, what I like the most from this book is the deepening of every character exists is so fascinating, even for just the side or supporting character (for god sake I’m sorry idk what to called a character that isn’t the main one), for example a bus driver in Meade, Ohio which Willard talked to when he was on the way home after the war ended, the narration wrapped and portraits the driver’s life perfectly without make us bored, and there’s still a bunch of interesting narration about the life of the side characters in this book that also as odds and intriguing as the main character’s background (jesus, everything happened and everyone in this book is just so strange and peculiar I swear to god). The story finished in a most tragic-beautiful but still gloomy way, even though it’s quite predictable but still a very good closing for me personally. To be noted, on the way to the end of the story, there will be emerge another asshole priest character named Preston Teagardin, ready to shake you up until you finish the book. But still, let’s said this particular ‘last minute character’ has proving that the author is paying so much attention of how the story ended isn’t leaving any 'rush-made' impression (this shit might confused you I’m sorry my English hasn’t got any better *sorry hand sign* *sorry hand sign* *sorry hand sign*). # hashtag attention to the detail bro.

Holy crap, that’s the first time I’m almost able to cut all the bullshit I intend to bring it up here.

This book is one of my top 5 books that you have to read once in a life time (although I haven’t discover the other four, omg im sorry y’all). Little information for you that the first time I read this book (yeah I read it for quite few times) is when the campaign of presidential election era, which in Indonesia the religious are pretty sentimental issues, some of the people in my country suddenly became those annoying fanatical preachers, man I can’t stand it. And this book is just precisely relating to that condition and I get to know at least a glance of what the heck odds things happened in their minds, since you know fanaticism and stupidity doesn’t hit only on particular group of religions, race, gender or anything, we can all be stupid and brainless (especially me because I basically have no brain). There probably quite many scenes that is pretty disturbing to read (I don’t know if people could be triggered by it???? But I guess so) so yeah a bit warning. Overall, I genuinely recommend this book for you guys because every element in this book is almost perfect, the storylines, bold characters, and the RARE AND STRANGE AND SENSITIVE topic promote by the author in this novel is totally a BOOM. Don’t worry reading this book not going to give you those agnostic and atheist vibes HAHA chill I still consider myself a devoted Muslim tho (hashtag masyaallah ukthi).

By the way before I wrapped it up, I hear that this book will be made into a netflix film. WELL, of course I’m excited because the casts are so amazing, and I love Netflix adaptation and I enjoy watch movies as much as I read books (again, unnecessary information of mine *sorry hand sign*). I found that the release date is postponed from the origin plan in 15th May (which is three days ago from I posted this on my page) due to I don’t know perhaps corona because that bitch has ruined everyone in the world’s schedule, but for real I can’t find the exact information regarding to the updated release date, so while you wait the film to launch, why don’t you just go read the book first? I assure you this one not gonna give you any disappointment.

I think that would be it for this 2nd rubbish book review of mine. Although, I think I made a little progressive from the first one (OR MAYBE NOT???? I’M SORRY Y’ALL) but of course there’s still much deficiency I served. Still, I hope my writing get better in the process of making this whole novel of reviewing book inaccurately. To be honest, I wrote this shit not for getting any engagements or audience but for my own satisfied HAHA. So yeah I’m literally comfortable writing for nothing. But bitch guess what I’m just gonna keep going, until I could professionally writing and make it for a living? Well, amen for that.

Xiao, See you in Advance!

[snfocxcanon]

decided to post some of my writing here since I haven't done that in awhile.... so heres something I wrote fr when Jex and Vincent first met.....

It had been about a week or two that Vincent had been watching this man come into his museum, sit in a chair, and just write. Write about what, Vincent never knew, until the man would leave the small piece of paper next to one of the statues. Every day the man did this, Vincent would go to grab it. He always loved reading the poems and short story this mysterious man would always write, and he kept them in a box in his work area.

The man had started to sign these poems. The name “Jex” always appeared at the end of the writing. Vincent wishes he could meet this Jex character, every day Jex showed up, Vincent imagines himself walking into the building and meeting him, sitting with him while he wrote, having the man rest his head on his shoulder as he wrote, but of course, these were all fantasies. Fantasies he believed would never come true, for he was too shy to see him.

Vincent started telling his brother Lester about Jex, he was too scared to tell Bo, he was always closer to Lester anyways. Lester always laughed at how soft Vincent was for this guy, the way Vincent explained him, the way he drew him, Lester was very interested in who this guy was. He wanted to help his brother, but every time he offered to introduce him, Vincent took down the offer.

“How about this,” Lester started, “I get to know the guy, find out his personality, his background, and then when you’re comfortable, I introduce you to him.”

“Cut our the introducing part.” Vincent signed.

“You’ll never get with him that way!”

“I’m fine with that.”

“You’re going to meet him whether you like it or not.”

The next time Jex came to write, Lester was aware. As Jex started writing, Lester entered the building, Vincent stayed outside and watched them.

“Not even some music?” Lester asked, leaning on one of the walls.

Jex jumped, dropping his pencil. He started scrambling up to his feet, picking up his pencil in the process.

“I’m sorry— I know I shouldn’t be in here, I’ll leave—“

“You’re fine, I don’t own this place.”

Jex chuckled in relief, sitting back down. There was some silence between the two. Lester moved to sit near where Jex was.

“You like these statues?” Lester asked.

“I do. They helped me get out of my writers block I’ve had for some time now. It’s fun coming up with stories for them, since they don’t have any themselves.”

“So you write?”

Jex nods, and looks down at his paper, continuing to write, and Lester watched in silence.

“Are you the one that cleans up my writing?” Jex asks.

“No, my brother does.”

“Is he the janitor?”

Lester giggles. “No, he’s not. He’s the one who makes the sculptures.”

It almost looked as if Jex’s eyes lit up. Not visible, was Vincent sitting outside, his hand over his heart. His face started to heat up. He could feel his breath start to hitch.

“Your brother makes these?” Jex asks.

“He does! He’s been doing it for a long time, now!”

And for hours, Jex and Lester talked, exchanging stories and laughed, all while Vincent watched. Vincent wished he could join them, talk to Jex himself, though he could only talk in sign language, he still dreams. He was much too shy to talk to him, he was just happy to hear his voice for the first time, something that’ll be stuck in his head. Vincent was a poor helpless romantic, he barely even knew how to control his feelings, he’s never really interacted with people other than his family and victims. Someone taking the time to write stories and poems for his statues hit him somewhere else he wasn’t familiar with.

For the next week or two, Lester came to talk to Jex, and Lester shared a few stories from their childhood, and mysteriously, every time Lester started to tell an embarrassing story about Vincent, there was a light tap that hit the window, and every time, Lester laughed and changed the story.

Every day that Jex showed up, Vincent would talk about the whole thing with Lester, and Lester would just sit there and laugh. Occasionally, Lester would suggest Vincent to talk to Jex himself, every time Vincent Shakes his head no furiously. Sometimes Vincent wishes he can yell what he says just to express how he feels verbally, but he has to stick with fast and furious hand signs. Lester gets it.

Jex had just been buy to write some more, and as he headed off back home, so did Lester. Vincent waited until he knew they were both gone for sure before going inside. He grabbed the writing and sat down, but suddenly, the door to the museum opened. Vincent put it off as Lester coming back to talk to him, but stayed on guard.

“Now where did I last leave it…”

It was Jex.

Vincent started to quickly pack his things, hoping that Jex wouldn’t see him. He spoke too soon, for Jex just turned around the corner. They made eye contact for a few seconds.

“Hey! Who are you?” Jex asked.

Vincent turned around and ran the opposite way, slipping and falling in the process.

“Hold on! Come back!”

Just as Jex looked around the corner to look for him, he was gone. Vincent went back outside, and down into the basement where his work equipment was. He started to pace around the room, he was nervous, scared, confused, and he was trembling. He knows that Jex probably suspects that he’s the brother, that he’s the one stealing his poetry, because who else would have come in to take his writing? Lester had already told Jex that he was the one taking the writing. Vincent was so embarrassed.

Vincent was surprised to see that the next day, Jex was there again, he usually never came two days in a row, and of course, Lester showed up as well.

“How’s the day been, Jex?” Lester asked, sitting beside him.

“It’s pretty good so far.”

There was a short silence.

“Hey Lester, does your brother have long, black hair?”

“He does, why?”

Vincent couldn’t believe it. Did he really see him that clearly? Vincent sat beside the window and covered his eyes in embarrassment.

“I think I saw him yesterday.”

“Really? He came and said hi?” Lester sounded almost too excited.

“No, I came back because I forgot my pencil and… we made eye contact for a little, and then he ran away.”

Vincent was more than embarrassed now, he could feel his face getting hot, and his breath started to get caught in his throat, Vincent was even thinking about leaving, he wasn’t sure how much more he could handle.

“I did tell you he’s a shy one, huh?”

Jex nodded. “I was wondering if you could introduce me to him.”

Vincent’s heart almost felt like it jumped out of his chest. He wanted to meet him? Even after he ran away? Vincent felt dizzy, so he decided to get up and leave. He went back down to his work area under the museum, and just sat at his desk. His face got so hot that he started to sweat under his mask and took it off.

That night when Lester came over to talk to Vincent, he suggested again that Vincent just talks to Jex himself, and of course, Vincent said no.

“Vincent, you can’t just keep hiding!”

“I can.” Vincent signed.

“He already saw you once, you might as well talk to him now! There’s no point in hiding!”

“There is.”

“Really. What is it?”

“He hasn’t seen my face yet.”

“There’s nothing wrong with your face, Bo is just an asshole.”

Lester sighed and set a hand on Vincent’s shoulder.

“Can you at least try talking to him?”

Vincent nodded. Lester smiled.

The next day, Jex was there again. Lester walked into the museum, smiling at Jex.

“Is he here?” Jex asked.

Lester shook his head. “He chickened out last minute. He’s really nervous about talking to other people, he’s never really done it before.”

“I understand.”

“Just give him a little time, he’ll come around.”

For the next few days, Jex showed up, and every day, Vincent chickened out. He felt guilty, yeah, but he just couldn’t get himself to do it. What if he judged him? What if he was disappointed? What if he made a fool of himself? Vincent didn’t want to take that risk, but he knew he had to meet him at some point.

The next day, Vincent decided that that was going to be his day. The day he meets Jex, this not so mysterious man anymore that he’s been watching for what was a little over a month now.

He closely followed behind Lester, as if Lester could hide him even though Vincent was almost a foot taller than him.

“Why’re you so nervous? He likes your art.”

“Just am.”

Just as Jex saw Vincent behind Lester, he jumped up from his seat, Vincent just ducked his head behind Lester.

“Oh, come on, you big softie.” Lester said, as he pulled Vincent in front of him. “And don’t think about running.”

Jex walked up to him and put out his hand, and Vincent shook it gently.

“Jex!�� Jex said, he sounded so excited.

“Vincent, sorry I took so long.” Vincent signed in response.

Vincent looked over to Lester, hoping that he’d translate.

“Oh yeah, he said—“

“Oh, no worries! I know what he said, I had a deaf sister growing up, I know sign language.”

Vincent’s heart skipped a beat. It couldn’t be seen, but he was smiling behind that mask. Not even Bo could completely understand him, he was more than excited that more than just Lester could understand what he says.

“I really enjoy your work!”

“Thank you.”

[captnbarnesrogers]

The 5 Times Harry Styles Was Just Harry

Pairing/Characters: Harry Styles x Reader Warnings: Swearing, angsty-ish, oral sex (FR) Summary: In short, Harry is sweet, friendly, protective, attentive, and loving. Word Count: 4.3k+ A/N: Hope y’all like this!  

Harry Styles likes to consider himself a simple man. Excluding the fact that he’s an internationally known superstar. But he doesn’t really like to take to that label. It shouldn’t be mistaken that he doesn’t love his job because he does. He loves to perfom. There’s nothing more exhilarating to him than to be up on stage, singing his songs and his songs being sung to him right back. He’s grateful. But he is, nevertheless to himself, just Harry. Human.

He walks in the streets of New York City, the cold wind of fall sneaking its way through his jacket, the barely-there-heat of the sunlight striking through his sunglasses. He stops by a nice cafe, almost dimly lit as it always was, and enters it. He stops just in front of the cooler, looking at the options of croissants, muffins, cookies and such. He settles on a blueberry muffin and a latte. He waits in line behind a girl who seems to be scattering her things atop of the counter.

“Sorry, I just- Give me a sec.” He can tell she feels bad although the line behind her wasn’t at all long, it was just him. She sighs and looks down, placing her hand on her forehead, “I think I might’ve left my wallet at home. I’m sorry.” He takes a step in front of her and hands the cash to the cashier. She looks up at the man who’d just paid for her coffee, giving him a stare which could only mean ‘thank you’. He nods as she puts her things back into her bag; a few receipts, a little black book, some pens and her phone.

“Hi Harry.” Cassidy the cashier greets, “Just the usual?”

“Yeah, thanks, mind addin’ a blueberry muffin with tha’?”

“Not at all.” She replies with a smile. The girl, who Harry’s paid a coffee for, waits for him to grab his order. She’s hesitent. Just for a moment though. As he walks out, she chases after him.

“Harry?” The wind blows against her face, making her hair fly just across it. Harry turns around to be met by your soft features.

“Yeah?”

“I just wanted to thank you,” you gestured to your take-away cup, “life savior, you are.”

“S'all good…” Waiting for you to answer with your name.

“Y/N, my name’s Y/N.” You lend out your hand for him to shake, in which he does, “How can I pay you back?” He pauses for a moment and smiles.

“Jus’ don’ forget yeh wallet next time, though, I won’ hold it against yeh if yeh do, I won’ complain.” You giggled and nodded as he walked away.

Harry is sweet.

As soon as you stepped out of your bedroom door, a doe-eyed, Alexis (your college roommate) standing just outside, a smile widely plastered across her almost perfectly tanned face, you knew she needed something. You stared at her questioningly and walked straight past her but as you expected, she followed you like a lost puppy.

“What is it Alexis?” You asked, pouring some over-boiled coffee into an over-used mug.

“So, um one of the frat houses are hosting a party-” When the words left her lips, you laughed.

“What’s new?”

“Well I actually got invited this time.” You raised an eyebrow, asking who had invited her, “Foster Harding…”

“The star quarterback? What is this? A chick flick?” You laughed, sipping at your hot beverage.

“Y/NNNNNN, pleaseeeeee! It’s one party!” Alexis grabbed your arm and shook it. You sighed and walked away.

“I can’t, I have to study for the in-class case study, Lex.”

“C’mon, Y/N, there’s booze, food, boys… and BOOZE.” She hugged you and squeezed you tight, “Pleaseeee, pretty please?” You sighed once more and smiled at her.

“Fine, we need to be back before twelve, okay?” She squealed and jumped around.

“Yes! Okay! You got it!”

By nine o’clock, you were both ready to go. You chose to wear some jeans and an off-shoulder top with some chucks while your roommate decided on a dress and some heels which you knew she would regret later on that night. The frat house, which you both agreed to travel by foot on, was not even ten minutes away, seven minutes if you walked at the slowest pace. The fresh breeze felt so calming against your skin which was only to be ruined by the humid air inside the frat house. Heat and sweat surrounded you both with a touch of extremely loud music. Alexis dragged you through the crowd by hand and led you at the couches by the stairs. Two men stood up when they saw you both emerge from the crowd. One man, with almost angelic features, familiar to you already. He held his hand out for you to shake, the music in the background becoming slow and quieter.

“Y/N, this is Foster and Harry, Harry and Foster, this is Y/N.” You shook both of their hands and smiled at them.

“We actually kno’ each other.” Harry interjects. Alexis’ eyes widen and looks at you.

“Really now?” You nod your head.

“Hi Harry.” You hadn’t noticed before but he had yet to let go of your hand. You pull away softly and smiled at him. He gestured you sit down next to him.

“Well, Foster and I are gonna get some drinks, you guys want some?” Harry lifts his red cup and you shake your head.

“So, how are you?” You ask, making conversation with the curly headed man before you. He nods and smiles, taking a sip from his red cup.

“A’ve been alrigh’, tourin’ an’ stuff is busy, but I finally get a break from it all and get t’visit some mates.”

“That’s good.”

“Wha’ ‘bout you? Been bringin’ yeh wallet around I see.” He points at your purse, dangling from your wrist. You giggle.

“Yep, lesson definitely learned.”

“Do yeh go here?” He once again takes a sip.

“Colombia?” He nods, “Yes, I do.”

“Wha’s it like?”

“It’s good, just normal college stress but other than that, I’m doing pretty well.” From then on, you both couldn’t stop talking but from what you could hear, you were the only one who was talking, and he was listening.

“Okay, I feel like I’ve been conned.” He looks at you with concern in his eyes, “You’ve been listening to me all night and I’ve just been running my mouth, I mean, I don’t even know the first thing about you except that your name is Harry.”

“Wha’ d’yeh wan’ t’kno’? M’an open book.”

“Well, who are you? Other than that guy from One Direction that everyone pawns over.” He laughs, his eyes slightly squinting.

“Everyone pawns ov’a me?” You nod, hand over your mouth to cover a laugh, “Well, i’s a hard question, innit?” He starts to gaze over the now almost empty fraternity lounge. He looks back at you and smiles softly, “I like everythin’ t’be simple, I like coffee in th’mornin’s, m’favourite colours are blue an orange… When m’not workin’ m’prob’ly talkin’ t’Gemma, m’sister, or m’mum.”

“You are a very simple man, Harry Styles.”

“Thanks, I try t’be.” You looked down at your phone, 3:22 AM.

“Shit!” You stood up and looked around for a sign of Alexis who, right now, was nowhere to be seen.

“Wha’s wrong, love?”

“Time slipped away, I don’t know, it went so fast, I have a case study this morning.” You unlocked your phone and began ringing Alexis who failed to answer your call three times, “Alexis is supposed to be coming home with me.”

“She’s prob’ly with Foster.” He gently put his hand on your shoulder to calm you down from your frantic movements, “I could walk yeh home? Could always jus’ find m’way back, yeh live on campus, yea?” You nodded, “C’mon then.” He took you by the hand and let you outside where the air you were met with was cooler than the hours before. You both start walking and Harry notices your hand, rubbing your arms to warm yourself up, “Cold?”

“Just a bit breezy.” You chuckle. He takes off his plain black jacket and covers your shoulders with it, “Oh, thank you.”

“S’not a problem.”

“How long have you known Foster?” You turn to him.

“No’ too long, couple’f years, met him through a friend, he’s a cool kid.” You nodded, “Wha’ ‘bout Alexis? How long’ve yeh known her?”

“We met each other at orientation day and then we were put in the same dorm room, been best friends ever since.” There was a comfortable silence when you walked up the steps of your dorm, “Well, this is me.”

“This is you.” He chuckles, almost nervously if you observed it right.

“Thank you for walking me home.”

“I’s’all good, I really liked talkin’ with yeh, talkin’ so much tha’ yeh forgot wha’ time it was.” You giggled.

“I should go inside.” He gestured to the door.

“Go for it.” You waved him goodbye and began to trek up the stairs to your room. You went to go scratch your shoulder, only to realise that Harry’s jacket was still slung over you. You gasped and began running back down, meeting Harry going down your doorsteps.

“Harry!” You called out, making him turn around.

“Yeah?” You took off his jacket, handing it to him.

“Your jacket.” He looked down at it and smiled.

“Keep it, give it back when I see yeh again.”

“What makes you think that we’ll see each other again?”

“Nothin’, jus’ hopin’ you’ll forget yeh wallet when yeh come by the café tomorrow.” You laughed.

“Okay, ‘til we see again?” He nods and smiles before walking away.

Harry is friendly.

After your final exam, relaxation washes over you. Of course, Alexis suggests that you, Foster, some of Foster’s friends and herself should go out and get drunk to celebrate. An offer you could not refuse after the stressful years’ worth of work and never-ending panic attacks.

You all start the night off at a party in one of the frat houses, aiming to get a little buzzed. When the buzz started, you all left to visit a nearby bar, the aim, by now, to get absolutely plastered. Dimmed lights provided by two lamps behind the bar and fairy lights scattered fashionably against the walls and windows, decorated the almost too-crowded bar. You followed Foster, who was holding Alexis’ hand, towards a table in the corner. You felt a hand graze your backside, making you shift around to be met by Chase and Leo, two of Foster’s friends. They were both seeming to be chatting to each other, so you disregard the feeling bubbling inside you. A loud cheer disrupted your thoughts and as Foster shifted to the side, you were met by Harry’s eyes. The buzzed feeling throughout your body left so suddenly when he smiled at you. Your thoughts were once again disrupted when Chase slipped his hand around your waist, making you flinch and almost lunge forward. You nervously chuckled and pulled away from him to hug Harry.

“Hi!” Almost to cheerfully, you slapped yourself mentally.

“Yeh look good, love.” He comments on your skirt, turtleneck and chucks.

“Thank you.” Chase and Leo suddenly and forcefully move past you to introduce themselves to Harry who gives you a warm smile and them a restless but friendly greeting face. Foster, Chase, and Leo move over to the bar to grab everyone some drinks whilst Alexis goes to the toilet. You sit down and face Harry who couldn’t keep his eyes off of you. He notices your nervous jitters.

“Yeh okay, Y/N? Everythin’ alrigh’?” You nod, “Sure?” You nod again. Chase is the first one back out of the three of them. He places a drink right in front of you and his arm slings across your shoulder. Harry looks at the guy next to you, almost staring him down if you will. He felt uneasy around this guy, he couldn’t imagine how you would’ve felt with his arm around you. Chase pushes the drink towards you which was unusually bubbly.

“Actually, Chase, I’m taking a break for now, I’m feeling a bit sick, thanks though.” You push the drink away from you.

“C’mon, Y/N, don’t be such a party pooper.”

“I’m not,” you take his thumb between your forefinger and thumb and unsling it from your shoulders, “I just don’t want that drink and I can buy drinks for myself.”

“Whatever.” He says, taking a sip of his beer. You smile at Harry who was intently staring at Chase. You tap him with your foot, making him acknowledge your sweet smile. You stand up and walk to the bar. As you wait to be served, Chase appears right beside you, “I just bought you a drink, why don’t you drink that?”

“Not really a fan of vodka sodas.”

“Tell me what you want, I’ll get it for you, just go sit back down.” His smile was sluggish, a sign that he was beginning to be intoxicated. You shook your head.

“I’ll just get my own drink, it’s fine.”

“Why are you being like this, Y/N?” He slams his drink down on the bar top.

“Like what?”

“Rude.” You scoff.

“I’m not being rude, Chase, I just don’t want a fucking vodka soda!” Suddenly his hand was around your waist. He pulls you over to him. His breath smelling like beer and straight whiskey, “Chase, let go of me, you’re drunk.”

“You look so pretty, baby, you’ve been giving me the eyes all night.” Your palms meet his chest trying to push him away, “Come home with me, Y/N, I’ll show you a good time.” He leans forward, his lips puckered, and suddenly he was pushed away from you.

“She said let go, mate.” You hide behind Harry. His eyes were furious when the light at the bar shone on them. You held onto his arm.

“Harry.” You warn softly. You notice the drink Chase had offered you moments ago in his hand, untouched.

“I’d move away if I were you, man, this doesn’t involve you.”

“It does now tha’ you’ve tried t’kiss, m’friend when she clearly doesn’t wan’ anythin’ t’do with yeh.” Chase rolls his eyes and shoves Harry, “Yeh fuckin’ drunk, I suggest yeh go home.”

“Chase, go home.” You say firmly.

“Whatever, you’re a 2 outta 10 prude anyway, Y/N, you’d only be good for a pity fuck.” You feel Harry tense against you which made you squeeze his arm, gesturing that it was okay. Chase leaves, struggling to walk and as soon as he was out of the bar. You let out a big and much-needed breath. Harry turns around and caresses your cheek.

“Are yeh okay, Y/N?” You nod. He calls over a bartender who takes the drink away, “I knew somethin’ was wrong, m’sorry I didn’t tell him t’fuck off earlier.”

“You’re not obliged to.”

“But I wan’ t’.” He engulfs you in a hug, “It’d hurt me if somethin’ happened to yeh, lovey.”

“You’re too sweet, Harry.”

“Nah, I just like yeh an’ I care ‘bout yeh a bunch.” He kisses the top of your head. You pull away and look up at him with a smile.

“You like me?” He rubs the back of his neck and chuckles nervously, “I like you too, Harry.” He leans into you.

“Yeh okay with this?” You nod. He steals a kiss from your lips and smiles into you.

“God, that was good.” You say as you pull away before capturing his lips on yours once again.

“If anyone tries t’do tha’ t’yeh again, I’ll rip em t’shreds.”

“Go for it, tiger.” You laugh, pulling him in for another kiss.

Harry is protective.

It’d been a year after Harry asked you to be his girlfriend when you finally moved in with him. He was so happy when you said yes. You still remember the smile on his face and the way he lifted you up and kissed you all over. It really is true what they say, you don’t know a person until you live with them and up until you moved in with Harry, you thought you knew everything about him. But when you finally got to sleep in the same bed every night he was home, you discovered more things than you bargained for, though you were never regretful of it.

The door opened and your boyfriend, a man who was a sight for sore eyes, walked in and engulfed you into a hug, kissing your temple.

“Wow, you’re feeling extra loving today.” You giggle, placing a kiss on his cheek.

“Wha’? I can’t give m’girl a bit o’ lovin’?” You offered him a cookie which you had made that morning. He opened his mouth and you placed a cookie in between his lips for him to bite. He grabs the cookie as he bites it and compliments your baking, “So, when we first properly met-”

“At Foster’s party?” He hummed in response.

“Well, I ‘ave a surprise for yeh.” From the inside of black trench coat, he produced a brown paper bag. It was all too familiar to you. It had a chirpy bee on the front, waving ‘hello’.

“No way.” You grabbed the paper bag that was dangling in front of you and laughed in surprise when you opened the stapled bag. You pulled out the black and yellow tights and laughed, covering your mouth.

“I remembered yeh talkin’ ‘bout these tights tha’ night so I went on a hunt.” You jumped him and he wrapped his arms around you.

“This is amazing, thank you, Harry.” You pulled away from him, eyes flickering from his eyes to his lips. He caught on so quickly to your innocent little stare and smirked. He captured your lips between his and lifted you up onto the counter. He couldn’t care less about the fact that you squirmed when he touched underneath your thighs, complaining that they were “too big” or you were “too heavy”. He didn’t care. He loved every single inch of you. You felt his breath against your neck, making you laugh due to a ticklish spot, “Harry!” You laughed.

“Am absolutely not sorry.” He smiles against you.

“I know.” He licks a stripe up your neck, making you roll your eyes back. You feel him suck your skin, “Babe, I need to not turn up to my internship like I’ve been attacked by an octopus.”

“Fine, I’ll leave it in places they can’t see.” He trails kisses down your chest, your hands bunched up in his hair as you tremble in his hands. His hands were warm, his mouth pulling away from you as he lifts up your top, throwing it on the floor and going back to his assault down your shivering body. Your legs wrapped around his waist when you leaned back onto the counter, his lips still going down. You panted heavily when he rested his lips just above your pelvic bone. He looked up at you and smiled devilishly before licking his lips and pulling down your pyjama shorts. You inhaled sharply when he kissed your hooded nub before sucking at it. He lays his tongue flat and quickly licks up over and over again. You pulled his hair and cried out when his tongue delved into you, “Harry!” He rubbed your clit with his thumb as he flicked his tongue inside of you, “Oh god, oh fuck, oh fucking- OH MY FUCKING GOD, Har, Har, Har, I’m gonna cum!” His fingers dug into your quivering thighs, you gripped his hair tightly and cried out when you released all over his tongue. You panted and chanted out his name, his hand gripping your breast.

“Yeh so fuckin’ beautiful, pet.” You sat back up and kissed him passionately. He pulls away and whispers an ‘I love you’ against your lips. He bends down and grabs your top, passing it to you which made you look at him quizzingly.

“Don’t you want to?...”

“I ‘ave t’make a very important phone call but best yeh believe if yeh not on the bed an’ ready by the time I get back, tha’ arse will be red raw.” You kissed him once more before he steps out onto the balcony.

Harry is attentive.

Harry couldn’t have forgotten. You’d both been planning it for weeks while you were both in bed, whilst one was yelling out ideas from the shower. Today, there was not one phone call, one tweet, or one text. You couldn’t help but be a little upset. Harry couldn’t have forgotten your birthday. After all, he kept telling you it was the most important event of the year for him, “more important than Christmas an’ New Year’s combined”.

Harry dropped his bag by the door when he came in and sighed. You weren’t in sight and he just wanted to cuddle you. He called out your name but no response. He walked through the lounge room and through the kitchen but no sign of you. He stepped into your shared bedroom and saw you lying down scrolling through your phone. He slipped under the covers with you and wrapped his arms around you but you didn’t acknowledge his existence at all.

“Tried callin’ yeh when I came in, yeh di’n’t answer?” He points out, kissing your shoulder.

“Didn’t hear you.”

“Oh.” Cold. You were so cold towards him, “Tha’s alrigh’”. You kept scrolling through your Instagram, refusing to receive his small and soft touches, “Wha’dya wan f’dinner?”

“You pick.” He pulled away from your warm body and sat up. Confusion flushed upon his face. Had you had a bad day? Had he done something wrong? He did let you know he’d be out early to head to the studio. He couldn’t figure out why you were being so cold towards him. Next thing he knew, you’d thrown the covers off of your body and left the bedroom. He followed you into the kitchen almost instantly and he stood by the arch facing the sink and bit the inside of his lip. You filled the kettle with water and set it down to boil. You began to make your coffee, pulling out the coffee granules, sugar, and milk, only to be gently shoved over by your boyfriend.

“I’ll do tha’” He suggests. You shake your head and grab the mug, mixing everything together. He was so confused. He couldn’t handle it, “Did I do summat? Why yeh so angry at me?”

“I don’t know, Har, did you?”

“M’not a fuckin’ mind reader, lovey.” You sighed and poured the boiling water into the mug. You wanted to cry. He had completely forgotten.

“So much for the most important event of the year, huh?” You retorted, walking away back to the bedroom. He stood there in confusion. His thoughts interrupted by the alarm on his phone probably reminding him to call work or something. As he goes to turn off the alarm, his eyes widen, and he smacks himself.

Be home early to make Y/N’s Birthday Dinner – Don’t forget the Ben & Jerry’s Phish Food!

“Fuck!” He stood in the middle of the kitchen with a realisation; not only did he forget the Phish Food, but he had completely forgotten your birthday.

When you heard the door close, you let out a sob. This was your first major fight, the one that made you cry. You’d had smaller and pettier fights before, but nothing to the point where you had tears in your eyes. You get that he’s been busy and you’re usually super understanding, but you felt unimportant. You had no right, you felt, but you knew he’d think otherwise. Before you knew it, you had slipped into a short nap, tears still flowing out of your eyes.

You were woken up by kisses being pressed on your cheek. He tried to kiss away the marks of streaming tears from your eyes, but you couldn’t help but turn away. He hugged you tightly with the covers in the way.

“M’so sorry, lovey, m’baby love, m’so so sorry.” He whispers between chaste kisses against your neck, “I di’n’t mean t’forget, I promise.” You laid still on your side. There was a large space where you faced, and he used that opportunity to slide into that space and look at you face-to-face. He felt like a failure when he saw the streaks of tears again, “Talk t’me, lovey, please.”

“It’s fine, Haz, I get it, you’re busy, I’m so-”

“Don’t say it, I’m sorry, I forgot, I was payin’ more attention to m’job than m’girl.” He kissed you, smiling softly when you finally kissed him back, “I love yeh, baby love.” He pulled the cover off of your body after he stood up and carried you bridal style to the dining room. Your eyes widened and your covered your mouth as you laughed in surprise. You look up at him and he meets your adoring stare, “S’the least I can do.” He kissed into your hair.

“Thank you.” You whispered as he set you down on the dining chair where you were faced with a candlelit dinner. He walked over to the freezer and pulled out a tub of ice cream, “Phish Food!” You squealed, clapping your hands like a happy child.

“Yeh favourite.” He sat down across from you and looked at you longingly before telling you what was on the menu for tonight, “Carbonara and your favourite cake which we can eat with the ice cream later.”

For the rest of the evening, Harry was nothing short of his charming self. Stolen kisses here and there, soft touches against your thigh.

“I love yeh more than I could eva show, Y/N.” He leaned over and kissed you softly, “But I hope, m’more than enough.”

Harry is loving.

MASTERLIST

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[princessjaqulinechess1031]

A Date

Pairings: Ravey, Background Jatherine, Implied and Past One-Sided Javid

Characters: Race (POV), Davey, Jack, Katherine, Crutchie/Charlie, Sarah

A/N: Crutchie goes by his birthname in this, Charlie because I can’t think of a reasonable explanation why Crutchie would walk around calling himself Crutchie in a Modern AU.

How dare Davey Jacobs exist?

That phrase was banging through Race’s head, it was all Race could think of his whole shift. It made him a disaster the whole time — he had mixed up up at least three people’s orders, dropped seven glasses, and spilled coffee four times on the carpet. Though the customers had been all very gracious and understanding (because they were decent human beings) Race knew the manager for the night, Snyder (who was not a decent human being), already didn’t like him, so he knew this particular shift was doing little to convince Snyder not to fire Race.

“Rough night, huh Higgins?” Jack (a semi-decent human being) asked by the drink station, loading three cups of coffee on his tray for an order by the far window. Jack was smirking his ass off — he knew exactly what Race was thinking of and why.

Race scolded and wiped down the side of the tea container, even though it was already clean. The traffic in the dinner was steady enough right now, but not busy, leaving Race with just a little bit of downtime as he waited for the cook, Albert, to finish making the order. And if it was the container was empty, Race was trying to do everything he could not to sneak a glance behind him, where Davey was currently collecting an order.

Even if Davey’s sleeves were rolled up and gave Race a perfect view of his arms or if his hair was perfectly waved today. Race was not going to look — it would put him out of sorts again and he was already on thin ice.

“Shut up,” Race shot back, not looking up at Jack.

“You know the rule, you daydream about your partner at work, you get dragged,” Jack said, eyes crinkling. Race bit the inside of his cheek. He had basically dragged Jack through the mud before Jack had finally manned up and asked his girlfriend Katherine out and thought non-stop about her, so it would be a huge hypocritical statement to get on Jack’s case for doing the same to him.

“He’s not my partner,” Race, finally daring to turn around but pointedly keeping his gaze on Jack. “I don’t even know if he’s into guys.”

“Don’t know if who is into guys?”

Race’s heart dropped to the floor and he was sure all his blood drained out of his body. Jack gave a shit-eating grin, and started to head out over to the table he was waiting on. Race swallowed thickly and turned around to see a confused Davey, which very much made Race’s head start spinning again because Davey looked so good to day and he can’t focus when that happens.

“Oh, uh, just some guy I’m into,” Race said awkwardly and internally cringed. Smooth, Anthony, smooth.

Davey’s face flickered with something and Race was surprised. Why was Davey disappointed?

The moment passed and Davey moved past Race to the tea container to fill a cup, most likely for the table he had just been at it. It was quiet for a moment but then Davey spoke.

“I get how you feel though,” Davey said. Race blinked in surprise.

“What?” Race asked.

“You said if you don’t know if your crush or whatever was into men,” Davey said nonchalantly, a stark contrast to the fire Race felt in his heart. Davey shrugged for good measure. “I know how that feels — the uncertainty. It sucks.” Race’s breath caught in his throat. Wait, was-was Davey saying what Race thought he was saying?

“What — are you — you like —“

“Guys?” Davey said, smiling brightly and turning around to face Race. “Yeah. Well, not exclusively, I’m bi.”

“Really?” Race’s excitement was building. At least Davey and him were compatible orientation wise, that was a step in the right direction. “So, you-you date guys?”

Davey blushed. “Well, I’ve wanted to date guys. They’ve been straight or didn’t like me though. I had a girlfriend, once, but we broke up.”

“I’m sorry you guys broke —“ Before the words were out, Davey was shaking his head with a laugh.

“Me and her are still friends,” Davey said. “She didn’t break up with me because she started hating me or something, she just realized she was a lesbian.”

Race gave a quiet laugh. “Good for her.”

Davey nodded once, softly. “Yeah, good for her.”

Race clapped his hands awkwardly and Davey returned to filling the glasses for his current table. What exactly was Race supposed to say next? A declaration of love? Start flirting with Davey? What was the protocol here?

“So, uh, got your eye on anyone in particular?” Race asked. Davey shrugged again.

“I thought Jack was cute for awhile when I first got here,” David said, “but then I found out he’s like practically engaged to Katherine, so that kinda popped that bubble.”

Race cursed Jack at first — because of course Jack would catch Davey’s eye. Jack caught everyone’s eye. Jack was characteristically handsome and more striking to look out, of course Davey would first notice the dark-haired boy. But then he caught that Davey had seemed to move on from Jack, maybe not someone else, but at least at peace at not being with Jack.

“What about you?” Davey asked, stacking the full cups on a tray. “Who’s this mystery guy you’re kinda into?”

Race’s breath caught. Now or never, Race decided.

“You,” Race said. Davey seemed taken aback for a second, stopping what he was doing and turned back to Race, cup of water still in hand.

“Me?” Davey asked, eyes wide. Race swallowed back his fear and summed his cocky grin from somewhere, hoping it came off more charming than he thought.

“Yeah, you gorgeous,” Race said. Davey rolled his eyes and turned away from him again.

“Funny, Race,” Davey said. Race felt panic — Davey thought he was making a joke.

“I’m not kidding Davey,” Race said. His voice sounded weaker than he would have liked. Davey turned to face him again, but his face was more neutral, dark brows burrowed in confusion. “I-I kinda like you and I-I kinda, I was kinda hoping you might want to -to go on a date with me.”

Davey just stared for a moment, before he gave a small smile. “I’d kinda like that.”

Race felt his world fall apart but also glue back together when Davey said that.

“Really?”

“Yeah, really,” Davey said, and once again he was much more nonchalant than Race expected.

Davey checked his watch and picked up the tray, still smiling at Race.

“Text me later when you want to meet or call me or whatever,” Davey said, leaving out of the area and to the table. Race just stared with wide eyes, unable to tear his eyes away from the form of Davey Jacobs.

^^^^

“Really? You’re wearing that?”

Race looked down at this blue button-up and dark skinny jeans, suddenly very anxious about what he was wearing. Was it too much? Should he switch to a t-shirt? Was it too little? Should he break out his one (1) tie and pair of dress pants? They were just going to the movies....

“Is their something wrong with it?” Race asked. Katherine (a normally decent human being) hummed from her spot on the couch, Jack’s head in her lap as he thumbed through his phone. Charlie had Jack’s legs in his lap on the other end of the couch, Jack’s legs balancing the lap top Charlie (a perfectly decent and wonderful cinnamon roll) was ignoring at the moment to look over Race’s outfit.

“If you want to be single, there’s nothing wrong with your outfit,” Katherine said. Race groaned.

“Kath, leave him alone,” Charlie said. “You look fine, Race. Katherine’s just a fashion snob. Davey will love what your wearing.”

Katherine huffed and leaned back against the green, worn couch. “If I wanted to be called a snob, I would have stayed at my apartment with my roommate.”

Race rolled his eyes. “You really think Davey will like it?”

“Yeah,” Jack said, not looking up from his phone. “Those pants make your ass look good. He likes your ass, so he’ll like those pants.”

Race blinked, but then he smiled. “He likes my ass?”

“Yes, he does,” Jack said, reaching for a bowl of popcorn on the floor. Charlie checked the time on his laptop and frowned.

“You may want to hurry Race,” Charlie said. “You said you’ll pick him up at seven and it’s almost a quarter till.” Race checked his phone and sure enough, Charlie was right. Quickly grabbing his coat, he rushed out of the apartment with his keys and a hasty parting. By time he nearly made it to Davey’s apartment, Race was out of breath — from nerves or running here, Davey wasn’t sure.Running a hand through his blond hair and taking a deep breath, Race knocked gently on the door.

A series of crashes and a female voice laughing could be heard, and then the door opened to reveal Davey, who was smiling brightly in a dark dress shirt and jeans.

“Hey Race!” Davey said. The female voice called out something.

“You gonna trip again, Davey?!”

Davey turned away from Race and scolded.

“Sarah!” Davey said. “Can you act like a normal human being for once?!” The female voice cackled and droned out, presumably because she went deeper into the apartment.

Davey turned back to Race and rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.

“Sorry about that, my sister is —“

Race waved it off. “I live with Jack, Dave. I understand embarrassing people when guests show up.” Race smirked. “May have done it to him once or twice.” Davey gave him a knowing look. “Or twenty times.”

Davey nodded and reached to grab something on his wall, his keys, and slipped it into his pocket. He stepped outside to meet Race, smiling once again as he shut the door.

“You ready?” No.

“Yes.”

^^^

“Well that was a good movie,” Davey said as they arrived back at Davey’s door. Race nodded once and shuffled his feet awkwardly on the hall carpet.

“Yeah, it was good,” Race said. Race smiled and looked down at where Davey’s hand was still clutched in his own. “This was nice. I-I had fun. Di-did you?”

Race had very much had fun. Spending time with Davey, clutching his hand tightly the whole time. He had especially loved the walk back and from, where he got to spend talking about anything — trivial things like their favorite candy (Kosher skittles — Davey, Snickers — Race) and also more somber things like where they grow up (Manhattan — both) and what they wanted to do with their lives (law — Race, medicine — Davey).He was hesitant to let the night end. There was so much more about Davey that he wanted to know. So much he wanted to learn.

“I had fun too,” Davey said. Davey squeezed his hand and then snuck a glance at the door. “Wo-would you-you like to come in? For coffee or something?”

Race bit his lip. Did Davey mean coffee literally or was he referring to .... No, no way. Davey seemed like the take-it slow type. But still, Race put on a grin and leaned closer.

“Can’t wait to get your hands on me, uh, Dave?” Race asked, wiggling his brows suggestively. Davey blushed a little but mostly laughed it off.

“I mean actual coffee, Race,” Davey said, rolling his eyes. Then Davey’s smile twitched. “Although you do look great in those jeans.”

Race’s heart stopped beating, which shut off circulation to his brain thus rendering him unable to make decisions. Or at least, that’s what Race decided must be what happened, because that was the only reasonable explanation for what he did next.

Race leaned forward and connected his lips to Davey’s, eyes shutting tight out of fear of Davey’s reaction. At first, Davey’s lips were stiff beneath Race’s, but then they were moving too, pushing against Race’s own. Race’s hands slipped into the brunet’s hair, fingers curling around the short strands. This movement was in time with Davey’s hands curling around Race, one resting on Race’s hip and another on the small of his back.

Race moaned into his lips and never wanted to stop kissing them. Davey’s lips were soft and warm and perfect and Race felt like he had been waiting his whole life to touch them against his own. Davey pulled Race closer against him and yet Race wanted to be closer, even if they couldn’t be any closer — no space between their bodies and no air able to pass between their lips.

Eventually they had to pull away for air, and Race looked at Davey, both of them still tangled together in the hallway.

“So..uh, coffee?” Davey asked.

“Coffee,” Race affirmed, nodding. Davey (a wonderful human being and great kisser) smiled quickly let the two of them inside the apartment.

A/N: I love Ravey so much now, so enjoy my new obsession. Watch as a devolve into insanity over my new ship.

Have a blessed day.

— Princess Chess