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actuallysaiyan · 2 months ago

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Stay With Me(Sugar Daddy!Enji Todoroki x Fem!Sugar Baby!Reader)

warnings: smut, angst, swearing, heart break, sugar daddy and sugar baby relationship, post time skip in MHA, Enji has a prosthetic arm, Enji and Rei are divorced, Touya lives!, power dynamics, unprotected sex, kissing, slight dark themes, abandonment,

word count: 3.2k

pairings: Sugar Daddy!Enji Todoroki x Fem!Sugar Baby!Reader

summary: Enji gets the idea to hire a sugar baby, and while he thinks it's a good idea, he didn't think he'd develop feelings for her. instead of trying to work through these new feelings, he pushes her away.

a/n: for my little fic trade with @cherryblossombankai!! I hope you'll enjoy this mess!

dividers: @adornedwithlight

taglist: @thissaintjessi. @cherryblossombankai , @thestarsystemsworld @pixelcafe-network

It had been his oldest son’s idea. They were all a little worried about him; his children thought about how this would affect his psyche. Rei had been right to leave. It wasn’t about the war, the fighting or even anything else. It was about her own feelings and her own want to pursue something different in life.

This left Enji with a lot of alone time. He enjoyed it at first. He finally felt like he could work on atoning for the hurt and the sins. He could self-reflect and think about how he was going to become a better father, a better hero, a better friend. Of course, he wasn’t doing the pro hero work anymore, but he was wondering how he could use his old image as a way to help out with charities.

And of course, since Touya had recovered from their last encounter, he’s been helping Touya become a member of society. It had been tough at first, considering how much damage he had done to his first born. But slowly, they were able to make amends and even attend therapy together. Touya felt like he could actually be a part of this world and Enji felt like he would be able to help his son through these tough times.

So when Touya came up to him one afternoon with his bright idea, Enji was very curious. Though, he had to admit that he wasn’t expecting it to be this.

“You should find someone to keep you company,” Touya says between bites of his dinner.

“That’s why you live with me, son.” Enji concludes.

Touya laughs, “Nah dad…you need to get laid. Come on, I know you do. It’s the only thing missing in your miserable life.”

This last comment causes Enji to spit out his drink. Did he hear that correctly? It had certainly been some time since he last had sex, but it wasn’t the first thing on his mind. Enji sighs softly before wiping his mouth off with a napkin.

“I don’t think that’s any of your concern.” He finally says to Touya.

Touya shrugs. “Look, all I’m sayin’ is that you could find yourself a little honey. I know of this app that connects you with—”

“I’m not going to fucking download some stupid dating app!”

And with that, dinner was over. Touya had pushed his buttons a bit too much and Enji went to bed miserable that night. He was lonely. He was tired of his bed feeling so damn cold. It was sad and pathetic. Here he was, nearing his mid-fifties and he had nobody to share this life with other than his oldest son who would one day leave the nest.

So the next day, he asked Touya for the app. Touya didn’t say anything more than give him tips on how to set up the profile.

Enji met with a number of young women. It was for a sugar baby, which he didn’t realize at first. But it suited him just fine. All he had to do was give the girl a little spending money and she’d go out on dates with him and fuck him. Truly it was the perfect solution to his loneliness.

A lot of the young women were thrilled to be matched with former pro hero Endeavor. Some of them were disgusted. Then there were some who were just in it for the money. Still, he craved a little connection. Something to let him know he still meant something to someone.

When he met you, he found you so alluring. You were young, sweet and definitely beautiful. You made him laugh, which was a first during all these stupid dates. And he made you laugh, which made his stomach flip every time he heard it. Despite this, things were a bit more rocky than you had anticipated the first few times you two got together.

There were some ground rules you had to follow. After your initial date to get to know one another, Enji laid down the law with you.

“I don’t want you seeing anyone else. Mostly due to a safety thing…” he didn’t want to admit that he’d get jealous if you were to see someone else while seeing him. “If I call you or text you, I expect you to come to me as soon as possible.”

You nodded your head, surprised to hear him be this firm and disciplinary with you after such a fun first date together.

“This is the allotted allowance for now.” He slides over a folded piece of paper. “There are certain things I expect of you, but we don’t have to do the relationship thing.”

This surprised you in some ways. But who were you to judge him? You had initially joined to help pay your college debt. Still, you wanted some sort of companionship. Enji lists off the expectations to you: to keep him satisfied, to join him during special events and hero galas, to go on dates with him from time to time.

“Any money I send to you, I want you to use portions of it to buy yourself cute outfits.” He finally concludes the meeting. He hands you a wad of cash without looking back at you.

You’re beginning to wonder what you got yourself into.

It starts off fairly easy. He asks you to come over a few times, but it only leads to kissing. He doesn’t even really look you in the eyes. It just seems too intimate for him, and he can’t handle the way you look at him. No, he fucking hates the way you look at him like he’s actually worth something. He fucking hates that you treat him like an actual human and not this disgraced man.

You get to know Touya fairly well, which doesn’t surprise you. He’s around your age, which does make things a little weird. But neither him nor Enji make it awkward for you. Touya knows you’re there to help his father transition into a different part of his life.

The first time Enji invites you out on a real date, you feel nervous about it. It’s the first time since your first meeting that you two will be going out. You’re not surprised to find a delivery person at your door an hour later with a huge bouquet of roses and a beautiful dress just for you. The card is signed by Enji.

He charms you in so many ways. He makes you question every single thing. He’s such an enigma, and you know he’s worth cracking the code. Deep down inside, you knew you were starting to fall for the traumatized man.

After the date, he invites you back to his place. And he’s rough with you. He kisses you like he’s never kissed someone in his life. It’s teeth clashing and tongues wrestling for dominance. He bends you over the side of the couch, lifting up the skirt of the dress he bought for you.

“You’ve been a good girl so far,” he growls in your ear as he pumps one of his fingers into you. You gasp at the sudden stretch. “Why don’t you let me show you how a real man makes love?”

The words that you were about to say get stuck in your throat as Enji curls his fingers deep inside of you. Your knees buckle and you’re very happy that he has you bent over the couch because you weren’t going to be able to stand up on your own two feet. You gasp once again when the big man kneels down behind you and begins lapping at your went cunt like it’s his last meal.

You’ve never had anyone push you to the edge quite like Enji does. And when you’re barely recovered from that earth shattering orgasm, he’s pushing into you from behind. It’s a rough pace to begin with, but it slowly gets more passionate. He pulls you to be flush against his chest, pressing kisses to your neck and shoulders.

“So beautiful…” he grunts in your ear. “So fucking perfect.”

He makes you cum a few more times before finishing on your ass and back. He doesn’t look you in the eyes when he throws the washcloth in your hands. Then he hands you his credit card, leaving you to get dressed and out of the house all by yourself.

The weeks that follow are even lonelier than before you met Enji. He only sends you money. He doesn’t ask for you to come see him anymore. It’s almost like he’s ashamed of himself and ashamed of what transpired between you two. It breaks your heart to think of him all alone in his bed,

You try to continue on with your life, but you have become quite attached to the older man. You remember the way you made each other laugh during that first meeting. You had butterflies in your tummy every time you thought about that. You know that deep down, Enji Todoroki is quite the charming man who is very much worthy of love.

Still, the days go by and you barely hear from him. You wonder if maybe the arrangement has been called off. You try to reach him, but you get no answer. The money comes in dribs and drabs, but nothing concrete. You finally gain the courage to message Touya.

The news that comes from Touya isn’t surprising, but it does break your heart. Apparently since that night, Enji has been locking himself in his room most days and not coming out. He’s been hiding from the world. The oldest Todoroki son doesn’t know what to make of it, but he has a sneaking suspicion it has to do with you.

“Look, can you just come over and talk to him? He’s just not doing well.”

How could you deny this? You get ready to head out to their place. You don’t know what to expect when you get there, but you’re hoping you can help out. Touya opens the door and he leads you to his father’s bedroom.

Quietly you knock. Your heart is in your throat. The door swings open and there stands the man you’ve developed feelings for. He looks worse for wear. His eyes narrow when he sees you. You’ve never seen him this disheveled before. He’s not even wearing his prosthetic arm.

“What the hell are you doing here? Didn’t you get the message?!” He snaps angrily. “I don’t want you around anymore!”

“B-but you never said that to me! You just stopped talking to me. Dropped me like I was yesterday’s news.”

He scoffs, “Quit the dramatics! You knew what this was. You know what you are to me.”

This breaks your heart. He might as well have hit you. It’s what it feels like. Despite knowing what this started as, you had hopes that maybe it would turn into something more. Maybe you and Enji would fall in love, but it’s not the way it’s going at all. It’s turning into a complete nightmare.

You sniffle and try to hide your tears. “If that’s how you feel, then I’ll stop bothering you.”

You leave the house, your heart heavy. It’s not the outcome you wanted, but it’s the outcome that happened. Maybe sometime down the line, you and Enji could fall in love and be happy. Or maybe you’d stay apart and move on with your lives.

Slowly, despite your broken heart, you move on. You find other things in your life. You meet new people. You get away from the sugar baby scene and you begin to see things from a different perspective. You missed Enji, yes, but things were different now. You were a different woman.

It was months later when you caught a glimpse of him. You two just happened to be at the same grocery store. He looks better than the last time you saw him. There’s something inside of you that desperately wants to go talk to him, but you know it’ll probably only cause trouble. So you let it slide, hiding your pain by leaving the store before he even spots you.

This begins to happen a bit more. You see Enji while you’re out and about. He seems happier than the last time you saw him. You wonder if maybe he’s seeing someone new. Someone who could treat him well and love him in the way he deserved. As much as you wish for that person to be you, you think you’ve missed your chance. You should have been more attentive to his needs.

Eventually, you accidentally bump into him. Your heart races in your chest when your body hits into the mass of muscles. His eyes widen and he smiles softly. There’s a pink tinge on his cheeks. It’s been almost a whole year since the last time you two talked.

“H-hi…” you offer shyly.

He smiles again. “Hi, how are you?”

This causes the two of you to begin gravitating towards one another. You two stand in the aisle at the grocery store and talk to one another like you were two old friends and not a sugar baby and her former sugar daddy. It tugged at your heartstrings like nothing else could. You were wondering if you could ever get over Enji Todoroki.

“Hey, want to go for coffee sometime?” He says, reaching over to gently brush some hair from your face.

You nod your head. “Yeah! I’d love that.”

A week from that day, you stand in front of one of your favorite cafes waiting for Enji. He arrives soon after, a bouquet of roses in his hands. Your eyes widen when you look at him. He seems almost completely different from the sad man you used to know. He kisses your cheek softly, handing you the bouquet.

Coffee goes well. You’re really surprised by how soft and sweet this man is. When you were his sugar baby, things didn’t go quite the way you wanted. It was always a little more awkward than you had anticipated. But now it felt like you two were getting along in a totally different way.

When he drops you off later on, you two make plans to see each other again. But when the day comes, he completely stands you up. You feel broken hearted. How could he do this to you again? How could he reach into your chest and rip your heart out again when you thought this could be different for you two?

You weren’t going to let him off easy. You make your way to his house by taxi. You’re fuming as you think of all the things you’re going to tell him. As you try to keep a levelhead, you know you’re going to explode.

Touya is the one who lets you in. He’s surprised to see you. He has a million and one questions, but he knows he can wait to ask you. This isn’t what’s important now. Based on the look on your face and how you stormed past him to get to Enji’s room, there is something else going on.

And you begin to slam your fist on Enji’s bedroom door. When he opens it, he’s shocked to see you. He figured you would have just forgotten about this old man. It’s what he deserves. He shouldn’t be allowed to even try to have something of a normal relationship with you.

“How dare you!? How fucking dare you, Enji Torodoki?! You keep fucking ripping my heart out of my chest.” There are tears streaming down your cheeks now.

“You shouldn’t be here!” He yells. “You’re supposed to just fucking forget about me!”

Both of you are angry. The tension is so high right now. You’re practically shaking as the words he said really hit you. You were supposed to just forget about him? How could you forget about the man who actually made you feel something instead of the steady numbness that life provides?

You push yourself against him, your chest mashing itself into his now-doughy body. He wasn’t nearly as muscular as he used to be. He looks at himself as this complete failure. He’s not meant to be loved.

“Enji Todoroki, I fucking love you. Do you understand me?! I love you!”

It’s all he needs to hear before he’s picking you up and pulling you into a heated kiss. He’s hungry as he kisses you, but it’s a little slower this time. It’s like he wants to memorize the taste and feel of you. Hurriedly, he pulls you into his bedroom and closes the door.

You’re pushed onto the bed, and you grab him by the collar of his shirt. He laughs softly when he lands on top of you, slightly crushing you. But it feels oh-so good. You never want this moment to end. You run your fingers through his hair, tugging slightly as he leans back in to kiss you. It’s all you’ve ever wanted.

“I love you too,” he pants between heated kisses. “I was so stupid to hurt you over and over again. I just couldn’t bring myself to drag you down to my level. You deserve the world.”

You shake your head. “You’re the one I want. Can’t you see that?”

He cups your face in his hands, using his thumbs to brush away your tears. Enji continues to kiss you over and over, pulling your clothes off with a needy haste. You do the same, making sure to spend extra time caressing his body. He feels old and worn out and washed up, but the way you touch him reminds him that maybe he can be loved.

Enji spends a long time kissing you all over. His tongue soothes over every little inch of your body. You can’t believe this is happening. It feels like heaven just to have him touching you in this way. When he finally has you ready to take him, you’re more than ready.

He slides into you slowly, watching your face contort into pure pleasure. Enji wants to commit this look into his mind for all eternity. Because that to him proves that he can do something right. He ruts into you deeply, but slowly. Every thrust is full of longing and love and need that neither of you could even put into words.

Your wrap your legs around him, pulling him into you even deeper. He smiles before burying his face in the crook of your neck. Enji places little love bites all over your tender flesh as he brings you to orgasm. The sounds you make just for him are what push him even further to his own peak.

“C-can I…inside?” He asks, his tone almost bashful.

You nod eagerly. “Please daddy.”

You watch as his eyes roll back and he growls. His body tenses as he begins to shoot his seed deep inside of you, and then he slowly stills. He holds onto you like you’re about to disappear.

“I love you, I always have. I was a dumb old man and made you feel like you weren’t good enough.” He finally confesses. “But I won’t ever do it anymore. No more…”

You kiss him back, smiling. “I love you too, Enji. I trust you.”

He contents himself with holding you close, running his fingers through your hair. Tomorrow, he’ll make it all up to you. He promises from this day forward, he’s going to show you that he can be a better man.

reblogs and comments always appreciated!

©actuallysaiyan 2024– do not repost on other platforms, copy, translate or edit my works!

#bacon.writes #BNHA #enji todoroki x reader #enji todoroki x fem!reader #enji x reader #enji x you #todoroki enji x reader #todoroki enji x you #enji todoroki #enji todoroki smut #endeavor #endeavor x reader #endeavor x you #endeavor smut #mha enji #mha enji todoroki

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colourstreakgryffin · 1 year ago

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Yo sup! I love your blog soooooo much!!! Your writing style is great in my opinion ^^. I'd like a yandere! Rui (platonic) with sister reader. She actually puts effort into making "family bonds" and while she is nice to the other "family" members, she never questions Rui's methods and actions and genuinely loves him despite the behaviours he displays. He is really overprotective over her and he likes her attention. I'd love a scenario like that

Hmmm! Okaaay! I have never written for Rui yet so let’s try it out, I’m optimistic! Been getting a lot of Platonic Yanderes lately tbh!

Yandere! Platonic! KNY Lower Moon Scenarios: Ayaki Rui

Rui, on the inside, is a lonely miserable child that is so desperate to feel nearest and dearest love for once in his new life that he does truly cruel and twisted means to get what carves so badly

Rui finds weak, pathetic demons and transfers his strength to them so they become infused by blood, cementing them as his family for good. He has done this too many to count… but most go against him and end up fried

Rui figured you’d be the same. Another sister who dares to try run away from him and will become his next toasted spider but no. You’re nothing like the ones who came before you and he is very shocked at first

Rui, needing to know if this behaviour is genuine, begins to keep a close eye on you and is very pleased everytime with the answers. You’re sweet and considerate to the other family members he brings home, you never argue with his methods nor measures and you even ask him how he is

Rui suspected you’d be angry at him for his drastic punishments to your siblings and parents, but no. You never once go against him, you just smile and proclaim you understand if he must hurt you. But in that moment, he won’t lay a single thread on you, he gently pats your head and orders you return to your room

Rui becomes favouritistic towards you, to the point it becomes obvious to everybody in the house. You’re a real sister and he needs to keep you as his, at all causes. No demon slayer can take you away from him and no demon can try trick you into abandoning him, he grows a intense sense of overprotectiveness over you, his one true sibling

Rui never really gets the love he wants with this makeshift family he has forcibly created. You’re the rare diamond of the pebble pile, you give him love and affection with no fear nor opposing intent. He is very tense and tries to push back but once he realises you’re just kissing away the blood on his cheek, he lets you. His obsession over you growing in the process

His obsession over keeping you as his sister at all means. Must he kill all those other failures? None of them please him at all and none has true worth to him, Rui is tempted to just kill them all and keep you. Sure, two siblings aren’t necessarily a family but the risk of losing you, who actually loves him, over a family who doesn’t love him. He is going to pick you everytime

Rui eventually moves you out of the attic you were in with your surrogate siblings. You don’t deserve to be around those pieces of filth and he ends up giving you the room, right next to his. So he can come to you very easily and demand your affection without needing anybody else around

He wants you nearby 24/7, his one and only beloved. He wants you close so he knows you’re still here and you haven’t been twisted by anything else that can twist your views

Rui is very desperate for attention so he wants it from you all the time. He’ll just sit down before you as you read/other and wait for you to acknowledge him. He doesn’t get hissy nor attack like he usually would if you take a little while, since he knows you’ll apologise and give him hugs or kisses as extra sorries

Rui will never let you out of the house nor out of the forest. You can go outside when he is with you, just to make sure no slayer can hurt you nor a demon can intervene. It’s all from his anxiety that makes him step in and take those extra precautions to keep you with him

At all causes, he doesn’t care how big the bill is he must pay to have you

Rui holds your hand as often as he possibly can, loving the feel of your warmth. He summons you to stand besides him as he deals out punishment, he sends you to the safety of the household when he finds threats he must dispose off. He is loving, he is favouritistic, he is possessive, he is overprotective; he is all of the above and so much more

“My dear sister. Come here, I am exhausted from taking care of such useless humans, may I get some affection to ease all my tense nerves? I don’t suspect you’d refuse, here now. You know I don’t bite you”

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rockingrobin69 · 1 year ago

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Beast of a thing

“What can I get you?” asked a loud voice, and Harry rubbed his face till his eyes burned.

“Hmm?” was clearly not the right answer.

“Coffee? Seems like you might need one. And something to nibble on. Sweet or savoury?”

“I,” Harry said, which wasn’t that much better. The—person?—who kept pestering him was smiley and extremely bright-eyed. Leaned down to him over a dark-blue apron, half-conspiratorial, half amused.

“Sweet, I should think.”

How rude. Harry crawled in here to die peacefully, not be badgered about fucking coffee. But a few seconds—minutes?—later there was more bustling, and someone placed a cup right next to where he was holding his head. It smelled hot. It smelled good.

Before he could even make the decision, Harry’s hands grabbed it and—oops—spilled a little, never mind. Yeah, it burned. Yeah, whatever. Harry raised the cup with a shaky fist and sipped something horrible and scalding hot. He felt, absurdly, and for the first time in—he felt a little bit like a person again. How fucking embarrassing. How fucking inaccurate.

“There you go, darling,” this time armed with a scone. The smell of clotted cream made Harry’s eyes roll back, made him choke. The jam was even worse, so sweet he nearly gagged. “This should cheer you right up.”

He nearly, nearly laughed. Was too busy growling, rubbing his pointy teeth against his inner lip. Something in his expression must have finally registered with the perky waiter, since they hurried back, tray cluttering as they hit something. Harry could finally go back to his—

“What now?” to the movement from the corner of his eye, but—the smell hit him first, hit harder. Lemon zest and evergreen forest. Something so pleasant it made Harry whimper, made him close his eyes. The newcomer used this reprieve to sneak into the seat next to Harry, so close their knees were touching.

“What do you want?” Harry asked, or whined. It hurt behind his molars, it hurt in the pit of his stomach. The touch, the unbelievable pressure coming from deep, deep inside.

“Hello to you too, Potter. You’re not an easy man to find.”

“Not an easy man,” Harry managed.

“Not a man,” Malfoy countered.

“Not,” Harry, “interested. Go back to the Ministry and—”

“So you really haven’t heard? I quit.” When Harry chanced a look, Malfoy was busy examining his fingernails. He looked—he smelled—he—was an onslaught Harry couldn’t, wouldn’t withstand.

Instead of whimpering again, of being pathetic: “So what do you want? Why come all this way if it wasn’t some…”

“Scheme?” Malfoy uncrossed his legs, leaned back. Too fucking much; Harry’s mouth watered already. “Plot? Who said it wasn’t. Maybe I’m hunting you down all for myself now.”

“Why,” Harry growled.

“Maybe I didn’t like the way you left.” A rustle: Harry didn’t need to look to know what that sound was. “Dear Malfoy, I hope you’ll understand—”

“Enough.”

Malfoy’s gaze burned on his skin. Malfoy’s everything burned. “—there’s nothing else I can do—”

“Enough. Please.”

A bang, too loud; his fist on the table. The coffee cup trembled, didn’t spill. “Oh, is that too much? Hearing your own stupid words? You can take it, sweetheart. We’ve not even got to the good part yet.”

Harry tried to take cover behind his hand. “Please, it’s—”

“I think you might be my mate,” Malfoy quoted in the iciest tone Harry’s ever heard, “Which is exactly why I have to go—”

“I did!” hiding, hiding. “How could I stay, how could I do anything when I knew I’d be putting you at risk? The Ministry won’t stop. And even if—even if they did,” in this horrible, shaky voice. “What I’ve become—”

“A fucking idiot, you mean?”

Harry looked up.

Malfoy’s lips were so thin. “I don’t care what you are. I don’t care what they tried to make you into. You think I might be your mate and then you run? Sentence yourself to, what, a miserable, lonely existence just because you’re scared?”

The shudder took him so hard he nearly fell. “I can’t hurt you,” Harry said through gritted teeth. “I won’t.”

“You have, arsehole,” with exasperation that seemed oddly fond. “Come on, Potter. You didn’t even do me the courtesy of asking.”

“Asking?”

“Veelas have mates too. You’d know if you bothered to stick around.”

“They have—” something whirled in his belly, in his chest. Something sickening and bright. “Wait. Are you saying—what are you saying?”

“You can’t hurt me.” Malfoy bent closer. “Not in the way you imagine. Not if you stay and work it out like an adult. I won’t let the Ministry use you as a weapon. I won’t let anything—I’m saying you’re an idiot, and I’m an even bigger one, and that if you’d run from me again, you’ll regret it.”

A smile burst, baffled and hot between his cheeks. “You… are you serious?”

“You think I came all this way for a joke? I only commit to things that are worth my while.” His grey eyes, burning. “Are you worth my while?”

Helpless, he grabbed Malfoy’s hand. The scent of him in Harry’s nose, heavenly and far too strong: everything he could hope for, that he tried to escape. “Please,” Harry croaked.

Malfoy hummed, leaned back. Used his free hand to steal Harry’s scone. “I’m staying across the road. When you’re quite done—”

On his feet. “Done.” The edges of Malfoy’s lips twitched.

“Very well.” He got up, cast a look from under his endless lashes. “Potter. If you leave again—”

“I won’t,” Harry promised, and meant it. Won’t be able to, now that he had Malfoy back in his arms, smelling and looking and being like that. Now that Harry felt alive, and like a person, and also not. Better than any treat, sweet or savoury. Bitter and sour, lemon zest and evergreens: his Malfoy. His mate.

For my dear @generalpizzaengineer and their prompt 💖

#drarry fic #1k #creature fic #Us-Against-The-Ministry but vague #running away #break up/make up #light angst with a happy ending #rockingrobin69 #werewolf harry #veela draco #mates #(wow i don't even mean the friend kind OR the flat/house kind! who even am i?)

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mrs-snape5984 · 6 months ago

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“How can you miss someone, you've never met? 'Cause I need you now, but I don't know you yet…”

“But can you find me soon because I'm in my head? Yeah, I need you now, but I don't know you yet…” (“IDK You Yet” by Alexander 23)

Being devoted to a fictional character for about 21 years can be challenging from time to time. Sure, it’s called “having a comfort character” for reasons, and I can’t deny, that my long lasting love for Severus Snape has given me the much needed comfort and consolation all over those years. He was by my side, whenever I felt the urge to escape from my traumatic reality…and fuck…there was way too much in my life, which made me flee to Severus. Don’t worry, I won’t mention all these experiences in this text (I’ve already done this in one of my other pathetically whiny posts).

But there’s another issue, that comes with the adoration for a fictional character…something torturous, heart-wrenching and devastatingly painful: It’s the piteous longing for someone, who will never be mine in real life….a goddamn feeling, which is eating me alive! Of course, I’m still coping with my current situation of being doomed to a life in darkness (fuck you, ME/CFS!!!!!) by writing my own ridiculously self-inserting fan fictions about Sevy and Jules…only for myself…solely to soothe my troubled heart. Furthermore, the many artists of Snapedom might know me as someone, who’s requesting immensely personal artworks for my blog…always using them to emphasise my journal entries here.

But there are times, when this isn’t enough anymore! I’m surrounded by Severus in my dark room… one could say, that I’m living in my private Snape-and-Wizarding-World-in-general-Museum. 😅 Everything here feels like my very own comfort blanket, which I’m pulling tighter around my trembling body to create a sensation of warmth and safety. And yet… yeah… and yet, I’m fucking lonely! Lying in darkness and solitude all day makes this cruel longing for Severus become agonising and almost unbearable. I’m bawling my eyes out for someone, who will never be able to hear my heart crying out for him. And to be honest: In my age, this is a sentiment, which I’m absolutely ashamed of!

For the past 21 years, I’ve known this miserable emotion only in this exact context. But now, something happened, which made the confines of my heart and the walls, I’ve built around myself, shatter into pieces…leaving me vulnerable and emotionally churned up like never before. Becoming close and trusting friends with someone, who’s living so far away from me - separated by the ocean - turns out to be blessing and curse at once.

Suddenly, I feel confronted by the same emotions, which my pining for Severus provokes in my heart…a yearning for a deeper connection - regardless of the relationship’s nature between us friends. And just like in the song, which I’ve mentioned above this text, I’m asking myself: “How can you miss someone, you’ve never met?”

Fortunately, I’m able to reach out to my friend in these occasions. I don’t have to weep over my fan fictions or my art collection…no, I can just grab my phone and annoy the fuck out of my beloved confidant. And I think, this is beautiful! ��

For this heartwarming piece of art, I’ve commissioned my friend @alinearthp once again. I asked her to draw Severus and my undeniably self-inserted OC Jules as young adults…going out to grab some butter beer in “The Three Broomsticks”. Whenever my longing for Severus becomes too strong, I’m trying to imagine him doing something casual like that with me…and now I’m doing the same with my long-distance-friend. For this reason, I’d like to dedicate this loving post to him. @preciousthelmadonna, you’re in my heart and in my thoughts every single day, since I got to meet you on tumblr. Despite those 6095 kilometres, which separate us from each other, it seems as if you’re right beside me, whenever we’re talking about everything and nothing at once. I’m beyond grateful for our connection, my love. Thank you for being you.

Oh, and @alinearthp, you made me smile with this cute drawing of Sevy and Jules! Thank you for your understanding of my ideas and for each of your lovely and kind messages! Feel hugged, my dear!

🖤Severus & Julia🖤

🖤Sevy & Jules🖤

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shootingstarrfish · 9 months ago

Note

Hi I wanted to ask one of my fav obey me artists this question: Least favorite to favorite characters? If you wanna say why, that'd be cool. If anything! Please have a nice day!

hii there!!! dearest anon stop being so nice you're going to make me cry AHSHDHD thank you,,, <33333

but what a fun question! for anyone who doesn't want to read my stupid long explanation for each character i will leave this tierlist here! all tiers (except the first tier) are organised by most to least liked within the tier from left to right

no i dont hate lucifer, it's just facebook relationship status (aka complicated <3)

i have plenty of opinions though so i'll go ahead and give some explanations too!! >:D under the cut because there's a lot of rambling here LOL

some of the list is a bit boring because i cant really say i hate or even dislike any characters, and i don't wanna be mean about any characters just cause they're not necessarily my favourites so!

that being said lucifer pisses me off to a comical degree and he absolutely doesn't belong at the bottom but my feelings about him are so ridiculously complicated i don't know where else he belongs? i wish so badly that i could hate him in an uncomplicated way and move on but as an eldest sibling he's such a personal attack on me and i hate it. he's me, i'm him it's horrible. every time i start to think "ahh he's not that bad" he opens his mouth and makes me regret thinking that. i still think about the time i chose to kiss him on the ferris wheel and he held his hand out after and i took it and he said it reminded him of his dead sister, i will never stop holding it against him. he deserves to be loved and taken care of and he also should be thrown off a cliff. im quite certain if i had to assign myself a sin i would pick pride and i hate it >:( (this is all very lighthearted lol)

diavolo used to viscerally annoy me for no good reason when i first started the game, but over time he's grown on me and i'd say now i'm neutral-positive on him!! no idea why i hated him, i was just very salty for no reason hahaha i've recently come to appreciate his character a lot more, im very :( about how lonely he must be and i want him to have more genuine friends please solmare

i think mephisto really is just the kind of character i need to see more of to like, he's very interesting to read character analyses of (and kinda relatable tbh?) but i just need more in game is all! i love his silly lil poses those are real fun, and he is pretty

levi is another i also used to hate out of nowhere? i was neutral on him initially and then i suddenly hated him with a burning passion until one of my friends told me she really loved him and im physically incapable of hating a character my friends love so we're chill again HAHA slowly beginning to like him though! what a pathetic sopping wet cat of a man, it's GREAT

OUUGHH i so badly wanna be able to love beel more, it hurts me to have to put him here but unfortunately this is the way it is... i think it's more accurate to say i love the idea of beel? and ive noticed i really like him everywhere that isnt the game, which again is unfortunate :,)))

LUKE IS MY SON he is babyyyyyyy that's all i have to say <333 my precious lil sonboy he deserves the whole entire world

everyone loves mammon, and i am no exception :D he's not necessarily my type hence why he's neatly placed right in the middle but ugh i love a guy who tries and fails miserably to act tough but is super sweet inside, what a guy <3 ok i flip flopped between putting satan and simeon in the love tier because i am so very fond of both of them, but that's too many characters up there so imagine they're both in a weird tier purgatory between the 2 LOL

i am in fact going to marry simeon and then we will raise luke together it's a fact simeon is everything he's pretty and beautiful and a very complex and interesting character ahhh

SATAN MY LOVE he's a very interesting case to me in that i feel on paper he should be the kind of character who would be on the top of the list! he's smart and kind and unhinged and would kill for you and he likes cats!!! truly husband material i adore him

im going to marry thirteen, thanks for listening to my ted talk <3 my darling beautiful wife who would laugh hysterically if i fell down the stairs i love u thirteen <3333333 we will be wed tomorrow and we will live the dream in her silly lil cave of pranks and curses

i dont know what it is about raphael but i adore him??? is it the wet kitten swag? the done with life expression? his ridiculous outfit? i couldnt tell you but i saw him for the first time and i was immediately obsessed everything i learn about him just makes me more obsessed, i love the fact that he enjoys solomons cooking, the way he's good at sewing and is kind but kinda scary, what a fun character

i could talk endlessly about solomon oh how i love this silly househusband wizard guy i was pretty neutral on him in the og game, and then he swiftly stole my heart in nightbringer and now i would eat his terrible cooking any day of the week just to see him smile <3 if i die seeing him happy that's probably the best way to go out all his calls and messages are sooo cute and they make me melt im in love please just one chance...

barbatos and solomon are typically equal on the list i'd say? but the barbatos brainrot is hitting harder now so he gets to be ever so slightly higher this once hahaha barbs is another that took a while to grow on me, not that i ever disliked him or anything but i definitely overlooked him at first! design wise i absolutely LOVE him, his demon form is definitely one of my absolute favourites. the unique but still put together suit?? the ruffles?? the bone wing horns?? ugh he's just very pretty, and SO interesting as well love a calm collected guy who totally has the potential to destroy you if he so wishes but has a soft spot for you

and of course, real shocker im sure, at the tippy top of the list would be asmo and belphie my beloveds <333 i love them both equally and i could never put one above the other i actually started playing obey me for belphie because one of my favourite character tropes is The Tired One TM, and im absolutely not immune to a cute emo boy either. i've grown to really love his sass and the way he hides his manipulative nature behind his sweet and innocent appearance hehe i also do love how ridiculously forward and blunt he is at times, what a silly guy while belphie was very predictable, asmo was a very out of nowhere character for me! i distinctly remember seeing him initially and thinking "avatar of lust?? i guess he's pretty but he'll probably just be the fuckboy character who makes nonstop innuendos and has no character beyond that, and i'm too asexual for this" so i avoided him a lot at first, but i'm very weak for how kind and gentle and charismatic he is, and the way he puts his all into everything and everyone <333 it didnt take long for me to realise that he's almost exactly the kind of person i aspire to be more like

also miura ayme gives me so much gender envy its not fair send tweet

#if u read all this.... thank u sdfhjhd i am high fiving u right now <333 #AND THANK U FOR ASKING ANON this was fun to consider #i like overthinking categories and lists so this was delightful for me #ask box #obey me

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fieldofdaisiies · 8 months ago

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Okay hi, this ask is going to seem sooo weird because I don't think anyone does this? But can you be my friend?T-T?, I'm new here, like just downloaded this app a few days ago and I'm basically new to all of this, I don't know this all too well, but I'll remain on anon until you say you want to be my friend because I don't want to be publicly shunned.But hi, I'm kmar(pronounced with a very strongق not k, its an arabic name which means moon >-<), i JUST turned 18 (like febuary just) I'm really tunisian (a very veryvery very very very small country in the North of africa) and I'm a very lonely person HAHA, I don't have alot of friends and since I'm 18 now I realised that I seriously need to stop being such a social outcast, I'm a Muslim+ a hijabi but obviously I respect everyone no matter what they are or how they choose to identify and I like to think I'm nice? 😿. And yes I'm that pathetic and lonely and miserable I really need friends, I'm super shy and this is actually me making an effort, I'm sorry if this feels like an interview I really am but I just want you to get to know me and see if you actually are interested, if your not ofc feel free to ignore this and go on with ur day thank uuu. I'm gonna send this to alot of people but I promise it's not me mass sending its people I actually admire (on the 3 days I've been here I know its crazy T^T) .I feel stupid but thank u soooooooooooooo much for reading this and I promise u I'm not this awkward if you talk to me (I hope? 😣)

Hii!!

First of all thank you for this sweet message and you are not at all awkward, don’t worry!!

I want you to know that this has nothing to do with you specifically, but I am always a little careful with who I befriend on here, since you don’t know the person behind the blog (it technically could be anybody) and I first want to build a bit of trust and get to know the people behind the blog before forming a friendhsip (I am not saying I mistrust you!!!).

I would suggest you go off anon and just start interacting with people and their posts and friendships will come/form naturally. It is always healthier to form friendships that way and not "force" them.

When you start interacting with posts and people you will naturally find people who like the same things as you and you can bond ober these things. Just be yourself, interact with posts, make your own posts, reblog, comment and send asks.

I am sure you are a very sweet person, and I know you will definitely find friends on here (just look around and interact and you will stumble upon people who are very similar to you and like the same things and then you will click!) This way, it may also be easier to find friends that are closer age wise or maybe even live in the same country or on the same continent.

Also, you can be proud of yourself, it was already a big step that you are sending this messages — go you!!

Lastly, I hope you understand💛 I don’t mean to disappoint you, but I am just cautious.

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thehighladywrites · 8 months ago

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AHHH KMAR IS SUCH A PRETTY NAME MY MOM CALLS ME QAMAR😭😭😭💗

i’m just as pathetic and miserable and introverted and shy and awkward in real life as u bae, let’s be all that together? 🥲🥲

also hell yes pls hit me up i’d love to be ur friend🥹😭💗 ur so sweet and cute how could i not be friends w u???

#talkswithamara #im crying ur so sweet😭😭😭

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deathfavor · 1 year ago

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@ephemeralshot said: Michael felt his eyes sink into the ground as he listened. Arms wrapping around him in a pathetic hug to himself as he found himself wavering. He says they haven’t changed but Michael has changed a lot. Back then, he still felt hope, he even smiled. When he and Lucifer squabble, he had sensed it was more than simply wishing to illicit a reaction out of him.

Michael could understand the loneliness, the way Lucifer’s light outshined his own even long after he had been casted out. It didn’t make it better, it made it all worse. It hurt deeper than he ever imagined. Ironic how the one Michael wished to be like was just as lonely if not lonelier. Were they simply doomed to be miserable?

Heaven was his home, it was where he belonged and yet he felt alone amongst the other angels. God only ever spoke orders in his ears, and duty was all he knew. All the other angels would only ever gawk or steal glances at Lucifer. When he wasn’t locked away in the throne room. Many too afraid to speak to him. Michael hadn’t really thought too hard on it until now. He assumed it was the respect the bringer of light was owed. The morning star. Was it because Michael and Lucifer were the first that he had been able to speak to him in the way that he did? Unafraid to lash out, or fight back?

“So you liked when I yelled at you?” Michael asks, snowy white bangs falling in front of his face as he hide the small smile that appeared on his lips. Michael could be more than his anger, but it was much like natures wondrous encounters. Rare and sight to behold. Often times his anger was what showed what he was feeling deep inside. The grief he held for a father who didn’t listen, anguish, hatred and love for a brother who stood on the opposite of him now. “Is that all you want to know?” He asks quietly, his red gaze turning slowly to meet the pair of golden eyes watching his back.

Lucifer can see Michael trying to embrace himself, wrap himself in a self-soothing gesture that he would never let anyone else see. A part of him yearns to reach out...but what good will it do if it only makes Michael flinch away or shut down further? He's finally saying something, and perhaps it is best to give him the space to process it in a way that Michael needs to. Fingertips press against the starry fabric at his side, keeping his hands close to him.

" I liked it better when you'd brush my hair under that tree, even if you were often scolding me on napping or being out there rather than being early to an event. " It had never mattered. In fact, Lucifer's slight delay always had more people flocking to see his dazzling entrance whenever he would eventually appear. No matter how much he didn't want to be there, he would for Michael's sake or the others. He was God's right hand, it was something that was never to be forgotten. It still wasn't, Lucifer had been the one and only. To this day he carries secrets known to no other. " But yes. I suppose I did. It was new. I liked getting to experience what others did, if only for a moment. Only with you. " He's quiet for a moment as he chooses his next words carefully. " it has still always only been you. " Samael understood him too well, and that too was different than the bond with Michael.

Is that all he wanted to know? Lucifer's eyes meet familiar red, lips parting yet lingering with rare uncertainty. " I...don't follow. " He admits, draconic pupils searching Michael's face for the answers he doesn't have at his fingertips. " No... " He shakes his head after a moment, taking a few steps closer. The limitations of such language would never cease to be a frustration for him, but he's certain that No is the right answer. That's not all he wants to know. " If you mean your anger, no. It's not. " This time there's firmer conviction as Lucifer seems to slot together pieces and concepts of what has been said.

It would be better if it were another though. This Lucifer knows. Because Lucifer will not always be there, and they stand on sides of a line that Lucifer will die before crossing over. His freedom, his free will, that is his. He has ripped it from God's hands and burned and fallen for it. No matter what Michael could say or do, no matter what what beautiful picture he could conjure....it would not happen. Lucifer will not beg for forgiveness, he will not condemn that which he feels is right. And Michael....Michael should never fall. No matter if Lucifer might finally feel he is not alone, soaring miles above anyone else. No matter if it meant company. He does not think Michael could endure it, nor Heaven itself

" But what is it you want, Michael? " Lucifer asks, softer. Do you want me to anger you till you feel nothing but hatred and contempt? What is it that you want of me? A feather falls, dispersing into gold dust the moment it falls upon the earth, Lucifer lets a quiet sigh slip past his lips, and then crosses the space to press a butterfly soft kiss to Michael's forehead. He demands nothing more, takes nothing more. Only gives before he steps back, proud wings folding themselves smaller once more.

#ephemeralshot #shoves this towards you #good morning when you read this have the feels #᛭ — [IC] bend the knee and bow to the emperor [LUCIFER]#᛭ — [RELATION] craving the bittersweet misery only you bring [LUCIFER & MICHAEL]

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twicearoundthesun · 1 year ago

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spies au

[Now]

Tzuyu could hardly breathe. She was doubled over, hands on her knees, gasping for air. The alarms were firing in her head; her legs were going to give out at any moment now.

A water bottle was shoved into her line of sight, and she downed it gratefully before letting herself sink to the ground, sitting on the concrete and still panting.

“You did a good job.”

She looked up at Jihyo, who stood facing the river. Her eyes were on the sky as the sunrise turned it captivating shades of pink that Tzuyu couldn’t focus on for the black entering her vision. The older girl seemed completely unfazed by the miles they’d just run.

“Momo says you’ve been doing good training, too. Fighting.” Jihyo turned and met her eyes with a little smile. “Nayeon’s a little more honest with it, but she thinks you’ve improved a lot.”

She still couldn’t answer, but she shrugged.

“I hope you know we aren’t just training you to make you miserable.. You need to be safe out there. You’re a good kid. We want you to be able to handle yourself.”

Tzuyu nodded again, looking out on the river. She’d been terrified when Jihyo had asked if she’d like to accompany her, but in the end reasoned that if Jihyo was going to kill her it’d probably be in her sleep and not along the Han river, where a number of equally-insane overachievers were also starting their day with a morning run. That, and she hadn’t been outside of the complex in days. If she had to get up before the ass-crack of dawn to touch grass, then so be it.

She hoped she never saw this early again, but she had to admit it was a pretty view.

“Thank you.” She said, finally, as she got her breath back.

Jihyo nodded.

“Once I can… you know, handle myself… Am I…” She trailed off. The question had been on the tip of her tongue for weeks, now. She wasn’t even sure what she hoped the answer was.

“We’ll give it a few more weeks to calm down. We’re running recon on your old bosses constantly to decide the safest path forward.”

“Do you think there will be?” Tzuyu asked. “A safe path forward for me, I mean.”

“A big enough bribe will convince the right people to forget your face, and a threat or two will make sure that doesn’t change. Once it’s resolved, we can relocate you somewhere else in the city and you never have to see me again.” Jihyo chuckled to herself.

Tzuyu’s heart sunk a little. She swallowed.

“I’ll have to find a new place…”

“We’ll help with that.” Jihyo sighed. She still hadn’t looked back. “You’ll have everything you need.”

There were a few seconds of silence. Tzuyu didn’t know how to talk around the knot of disappointment in her throat, not without sounding pathetic.

“Unless, of course, you don’t want that.”

“Hm?”

“I mean, if you want to stay with us. You can.” Jihyo said simply. Then, before Tzuyu could open her mouth to respond. “I’ve noticed you’re really fitting in these days. But you need to know the risks, Tzuyu. Even if you don’t play an active role in our… operations. We deal with incredibly dangerous people. People that wouldn’t think twice about killing us if they got the chance. Us, or anyone associated with us.”

Tzuyu swallowed.

Despite still fearing half of its inhabitants, her time in the complex had her happier than she’d been in a while. There was always a homecooked meal to enjoy or takeout ready to be reheated, and a few smiling faces in the cafeteria. Momo was always encouraging, Nayeon always a familiar kind of stern. Sana was nothing but warm and sweet and afternoons with Chaeyoung were always comfortable.

And there was a certain green-haired computer geek she loved keeping company in the lab. She didn’t think her days would be near as bright without Dahyuns thousand-watt-smile.

She didn’t feel so alone, anymore. And she just didn’t know if she could go back to a dusty, lonely apartment.

“How often do they get the chance?”

“Hm?”

“The people that want to kill you… How often do they, you know, get close?”

Jihyo gave a chuckle. “Not often. Not yet, at least. We have safety nets in place that do a good job. We’re well-hidden, and Mina and Dahyun keep our data pretty scrubbed from anywhere. But we’re no strangers to injury or danger. And there are security protocols you’ll need to follow that are admittedly a little annoying.”

Tzuyu nodded. Jihyo grew quiet as a guy around their age jogged by, but smiled politely when he wished them a good morning. They both stayed quiet for a few seconds after, too.

“Think about it. We’ll be here for you whatever you decide.” Jihyo said, finally turning to face her. In the morning glow, Tzuyu almost saw kindness in her eyes. It quickly hardened. “But we better get back, now, before it gets too late. Jeongyeon will think I left you in a ditch somewhere.”

She extended a hand, pulling Tzuyu to her feet and dusting her off.

“What do you think? You’ve got another mile in you, right?”

Tzuyu’s eyes widened. Jihyo chuckled.

“I’m kidding. We’re around the corner from the complex.” She laughed, and set off away from the river.

Tzuyu followed her home.

#spies au #i think i havent posted this yet?#jihyo #tzuyu #mentioned datzu

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lmky-n · 2 years ago

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poor unfortunate souls (Stella and femMD!reader)

you walked in stella's room after her

-so you want to be with your beloved one?-tall demoness asked you

-y-yeah i want to be with that worker drone that named sam but there one issue i'm disassembly drone and he is a worker drone, he is literally my food- you replied to stella

-oh there's the way i can solve your problem with love

-and what is that way?

-the way you can be with that sam is to become a worker drone yourself

-can you do that?

-oh my dear sweet child that's what i do, that's what i live for, to help unfortunate people like yourself, poor souls that got in corner of despair

I admit that in the past I've been a nasty They weren't kidding when they called me Well, a witch But you'll find that nowadays I've mended all my ways Repented, seen the light And made a switch True? Yes And I fortunately know a little magic It's a talent that I always have possesed And here lately, please don't laugh I use it on behalf Of the miserable, lonely, and depressed-- Pathetic! Poor unfortunate souls, in pain, in need This one longing to be thinner That one wants to get the girl And do I help them? Yes, indeed! Those poor unfortunate souls So sad, so true They come flocking to my cauldron Crying spells, Stella, please! And I help them, yes I do Now it's happened once or twice Someone couldn't pay the price And I'm afraid I had to rake 'em 'Cross the coals Yes, I've had the odd complaint But on the whole I've been a saint To those poor unfortunate souls

-have we got a deal?

-if i become a worker drone i'll never be with my teammates again

-there's nothing to worry about, life's full of tough choice and we haven't discussed the subject of payment

-but i don't ha- you was cutted off by stella

-i'm not asking much, what i want from you is your voice

-but that's my voice, how can i-you was cutted off(again)

-you'll have your looks, your pretty face. and don't underestimate the importance of our body language, ha

The men up there don't like a lot of blabber They think a girl who gossips is a bore! Yes, on land it's much preferred For ladies not to say a word And after all, dear, what is idle prattle for?

Come on, they're not all that impressed with conversation True gentlemen avoid it when they can! But they dote and swoon and fawn on a lady who's withdrawn It's she who holds her tongue who gets a man!

Come on, you poor unfortunate soul Go ahead! Make your choice! I'm a very busy woman and I haven't got all day It won't cost much, just your voice!

You poor unfortunate soul It's sad but true

If you want to cross the bridge, my sweet, you've got the pay the toll Take a gulp and take a breath, and go ahead and sign the scroll Chazwick, striker, now I've help her, boys The boss is on a roll! This poor unfortunate soul!

Beluga sevruga, come winds of the Caspian Sea Larynxes, glossitis, ad max Laryngitis, la voce to me!

-now sing!

you started singing

-keep singing

when you stoped singing a strange glowing ball that was your voice fly away from your mouth and when you tried to speak there was nothing while you watch that glowing ball landed in necklace

-here. if you want to reveal your true form just break that necklace ok?-asked stella giving you the necklace and writing book

you noded

-i'm glad i help you

you put that necklace on and ran away throuh the portal that stella opened waving her to say goodbye

#helluva boss stella #murder drones sam #murder drones #murder drones x reader #helluva boss striker #helluva boss chaz

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broadway-feferi · 2 years ago

Text

all because of her crush on that jade human her poor lowblood though sollux or somefin tried to warn her waterever its a win either way for me lyrics under the cut btw wrote em myshellf

Jade:

thank you for saving me!

what’s your name?

Feferi:

Oh glub, um, I’m Feferi!

Jade:

feferi? how cute!

well, thank you feferi!

Feferi:

Come on Fef, this is so not like you!

I mean, she was, really, pretty…

But that’s not the point!

Oh, this is a bad idea…

Meenah:

My dear, sweet Feferi, that's what I

do! It's what I live for! To help

unfortunate fishfolk like yourself.

Poor souls with no one else to turn to

I admit that in the

past I've been a nasty

They weren't kidding when

they called me, well, a bitch

But you'll find that nowadays

I've mended all my ways

Repented, seen the

light, and made a switch

True? Yeah

And I fortunately know some uncommon sense

It's a talent that I

always have possessed

And here lately, please don't laugh

I use it on behalf

Of the miserable, lonely

and depressed (Pathetic)

Poor unfortunate souls

In pain

In need

Tuna longing to be saner

Kankri wants to get the girl

And do I help them?

Yes, indeed

Those poor unfortunate souls

So sad

So true

They come flocking to my kingdom

Crying, "Save me, Meenah, please!"

And I help them?

Yes, I do

Now it's happened once or twice

Someone couldn't pay the price

And I'm afraid I had to

rake 'em 'cross the coals

Yes, I've had the odd complaint

But on the whole, I've been a saint

To those poor unfortunate souls

Meenah:

Now, here's the deal: I’ll make you a

potion that’ll turn you into a human

for three days. Got that? Three days.

Now, listen. This is important: before

the sun sets on the third day, you've

got to get ol' jadey to fall in love

with ya, that is, she's gotta kiss

ya; not just any kiss, the kiss of

True Love. If she does kiss you before

the sun sets on the third day,

you'll remain human permanently!

But, if she doesn't, you turn back into

a troll and... you’ll be culled by me!

Sollux:

No, Feferi!

Meenah:

Have we got a deal?

Feferi:

If I become human, I'll never be

with my fronds or lusus again

Meenah:

That's right

But, you'll have your human. Life's

full of tough choices, innit?

Oh! And there is one more thing!

We haven't discussed the subject of payment!

You can't get something for nothing ya know

Feferi:

But I don't have any-

Meenah:

I'm not asking much. Just a

token, really! A trifle!

You not gonna miss it

What I want from you is... your throne

Feferi:

My throne?

Meenah:

You've got it, sweet cakes.

I’ll be the heiress, and you’ll be human

Feferi:

But what about the wrigglers? How can I -

Meenah:

You'll have your land dwellers!

Your human Jade! So there’s no need

To worry about those stupid lowbloods! Ha!

The fish up there don't

like a lot of glubbin’

They think a gal who worries is a bore

Yes, on land, it's much preferred

for ladies not to say a word

about the environment, the

homeless, or the poor?

Come on, they're not all that

impressed with conversation

True “activists” avoid it when they can

But they dote and swoon and fawn

On a lady who's withdrawn

It's she who holds her

tongue who gets humans

Come on, you poor unfortunate soul

Go ahead

Make your choice

I'm a very busy woman

And I haven't got all day

It won't cost much

Just your throne

You poor unfortunate soul

It's sad

But true

If you want to cross

the bridge, my sweet

You've got to pay the toll

Take a gulp and take a breath

And go ahead and sign the scroll

(Look here Serkets, now I've got her, y’all)

The boss is on a roll

This poor unfortunate soul

#broadway feferi #homestuck #broadwaystuck #feferi peixes #feferi homestuck #broadway meenah #meenah peixes #convivialChameleon #(i loved working with y'all!)

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angry-geese · 2 years ago

Text

Blood Ties - Chapter Forty-Seven: Blood And Oil

Soulmate au Choso x Reader

Warnings: canon typical violence, blood mention, hurt/comfort

a/n: apologies that this literally took me forever to post. it wasnt until i was making some edits to chapter 48 that i realized my mistake :/

Word Count: 5.9k

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Sometime within the past hour, it has started snowing.

It's almost unnoticeable at first. The ground is far too wet and warm for anything to stick. What remains is a gray sludge that sticks to your shoes, making it a chore to walk. Little white flakes collect in your hair, and melt against your exposed skin. You stop twice to scrape the stuff off, before giving up, and stopping for a break. Your meager breakfast is threatening to make a reappearance. Whether that’s from stress, or the cigarettes, you aren't certain.

Kenjaku, for some sick reason, needs you alive. And he needs you alongside Choso.

Some part of you would find it more bearable if his plan was simply to kill you. You are just another pawn in this needlessly cruel game. Or maybe this is all part of his plan, you think. Kenjaku wants you so paralyzed with fear that your only option is inaction.

With nothing better to do, you stand, and continue walking.

At some point in time, you find yourself on Nanami’s street. You don't mean to, really. Perhaps its muscle memory. A light is visible from within the cracks in his curtains—a table lamp. For a moment, you’re able to tear your hand away from your side as it comes up to knead at your shoulder. The snowfall combines with the already chilly night air, and it’s making your shoulder hurt again.

“Are you coming in, or do you like standing in the rain that much?” Kirara calls out.

Despite being the only person out on the street, it takes you a moment to register that they’re talking to you.

The window slides shut, only for the front door to crack open. Out comes a wall of warm air. In the living room, the TV is on, and the heater is running full blast. The sound of shuffling comes from the kitchen. Nanami.

Nanami’s apartment is older, but comfortable; with the building having been recently renovated. In the living room is a tatami mat floor, heated kotatsu, and tv. Central heating isn't common in most buildings around here, you’ve noticed, so the heater is welcome.

“Took you long enough.” Kirara says. “I figured if you were still alive after they hauled you off, this is where you’d end up. Guess I was right.”

You’re not quite sure what to make of their statement. It’s not like there isn't truth to it. There’s little you wouldn't give to fall against him, allowing the sound of his heartbeat to soothe you. To let his hands trace up the curve of your spine. To bask in the familiar scent of lavender, and iron.

How pathetic, you think. Maybe you’re just lonely enough that you don't know if you mean Nanami or Choso.

Your miserable mood must make itself known on your face. Kirara sees your sour expression and grimaces. While you may vehemently deny it, the others know something is wrong. You are neither reserved enough, or a good enough liar to conceal it.

Nanami enters the room with tea. He can't seem to decide on which he’d rather look at: you, or the clock on the wall. Your gaze is trained firmly on the ground. It could be minutes, or it could be hours before either of you speak. In reality, maybe a minute passes. A tense, uncomfortable silence settles over the room. To give your hands something to do, you pick at a loose strand on your shirt.

“Have you been eating?” He asks. “You look…”

Nanami must decide against commenting on your appearance, because he stops himself mid sentence. Perhaps it's for the best. You hold no ill will towards him for what he did. Things are just… awkward, and you don't know how to handle it. Neither of you do.

“I’m getting more tea,” Kirara says. Code for “this is getting awkward. I’m leaving.”

Nanami shifts in his seat, and you drain your second cup of tea. When he fills it once more, you down it, to avoid having to speak. But your silence can only be maintained for so long, and then comes the time where you must face him.

“You look better.” You say.

And really, he does. Despite his injuries, he’s recovered considerably since you last saw him. All thanks to Shoko. The scars that mark the side of his face, and trail down his neck have taken on a pale pink color. Still tender. Nanami has taken to wearing an eyepatch over his injured eye. He has a glass one—it’s damn near indistinguishable from his real one—but he chooses not to wear it.

“Shoko cleared me to return home a few days ago,” he says, “but she suggests I keep in close contact with her. Just in case any complications arise.”

Kirara shows no signs of returning from the kitchen. You’re doomed to sit in the presence of Nanami, whether you want to or not.

Silence is the last thing you want to sit through. No matter how awkward or painful this conversation may be, it’s better than the alternative. At least that’s what you think.

“All this rain…” you say, forcing out a laugh. “This weather is depressing.”

And that's when you know you have nothing to talk about; you begin mentioning the weather. Defeated, your hands fall into your lap. Mentally you kick yourself for having to resort to such tactics. That's when your eyes fall to something on the table: a stack of papers with your name on them.

It doesn't take long for your fellow sorcerer to make note of this, and slide the stack over to you.

“Congratulations.” Nanami says. “Your promotion has been approved. You’re now a grade two sorcerer.”

It hadn't occurred to you that there would be higher ups around left to do this. From your understanding, the jujutsu world as a whole lies in shambles. Those who could, fled. Others are using the lack of Gojo’s presence to their advantage. The ones who remain are of the slimier, less honorable kind.

People can have ulterior motives—you understand that. Sorcerers are not above the rest of society solely because of their abilities. At their core, they are inherently human. Such a thing is subject to flaws, and corruption.

“They're still doing that?” You ask.

“Not exactly.” He says. “Since your promotion was already in action before the incident at Shibuya, I was able to pull some strings and have it approved early. If you have any wish to apply to be a grade one sorcerer, I would be more than willing to recommend you.”

From under the stack of papers, he slides you an envelope. The thick, cream colored paper feels heavy in your hand. Expensive.

It takes you a moment to work up the nerve to open it. Contained in the envelope is a single page letter, with a gold border. Nanami’s neat writing is visible. You only skim the contents of the letter. Bringing yourself to read all of it feels like an impossible task.

…for this individual’s outstanding bravery during the Shibuya Incident, and growth as a sorcerer…

Nanami’s signature is in the bottom left corner of the page. You trace your thumb across it, feeling the indents left by the pen. Handwritten, not typed.

“I don't—I’m not sure what to say…” You barely manage to stammer out those words, so you redirect the question. “Why not promote Ino?” You ask. “You've known him a lot longer than me.”

Your face burns. After all that's happened, why would he do that? What does this mean for Takuma?

“Takuma's condition is critical at the moment,” he says, “the injuries he received are major, even with the help of Shoko’s reversed cursed technique. Right now, I am most concerned with making sure he survives until the end of the year.”

A wave of guilt rolls over you, leaving a pit in your chest that takes up space right between your lungs. Handwritten, not typed. He must have a stack of earlier drafts sitting in a drawer somewhere. Even if they made their way into your possession somehow, you’re not certain you could stomach reading them. This space, which at one point you found so comforting, is too emotionally charged in this moment. It’s more than cursed energy. More than anything either you or him could put into words. A rift has opened that neither magic nor the passing of time will fix.

“I spoke with Kenjaku.” You say.

Although Kirara doesn't leave the kitchen, a shadow darkens the doorway.

“What did he say?” Nanami asks.

You're shaking. The presence of Nanami should mean safety to you, but you’re filled with a sense of unease. As long as you’re speaking, his responses are no more than a hum, or a nod. Gauging what he really thinks is impossible, and that worries you.

“He… forged some papers about my marriage.” You continue. “Talked a bit about my brother too but honestly I didn't catch all of it after he asked me to give him a grandchild.”

Nanami has turned a few shades paler. “Marriage?” He asks, clearing his throat.

He doesn't deserve your anger, but you’re far too exhausted to watch your tone. “That's what you pick out of this entire conversation?!” You say, hands clenched in fists at your side. “Not, ‘wow, glad you’re okay’ or ‘I’m sorry you had to deal with that’?!

“He… he kept talking about James,” you continue, “he said my brother wanted to stop cursed spirits where they first began…

“He… I think he wants to sever the string of fate. Not just some people, but for humanity as a whole.”

Could he even do that? Let alone on a large enough scale for his plan?

He has proved that by consuming the blood of another sorcerer, he can amplify his powers. And right now, he’s surrounded by hundreds of them. But to do that, he’d have to be consuming that stuff by the gallon. He would have to be more cursed spirit than human. And by that logic, he would be subject to Kenjaku’s abilities.

“I’m aware that it sounds insane,” you say. “I think he was trying to get under my skin but… I don't know… for a moment I really believed him.”

Whatever Kenjaku was aiming at, it seems he has succeeded. Right now, you are in no condition to fight back against him. Mentally, emotionally, or physically. Maybe that was his plan from the start. Maybe he wanted to leave you in hysterics, or so paralyzed with options that the only thing you’re left with is inaction.

It takes you a moment to register it: your phone ringing on the table in front of you. Nobara. Even then, you don't answer it. You let it head straight to voicemail. She should be with her grandmother, in her hometown to the North. That’s what Shoko said. It’s not until she calls a second time that you answer.

“Where are you?!” She asks. Nobara sounds angry, more than she does panicked.

“Nanami’s apartment.” You say. “Why?”

A brief moment of hesitation on her end speaks louder than any comment she could make. “You guys need to get back to Jujutsu Tech right now!” She says. “It’s—” a loud crash can be heard on her end, “Geto!”

So this is it, you think, Kenjaku has invaded the Tomb of the Star Corridor.

…

Shoko and Nobara stand at the edge of the crater, half obscured in the steam. Until you’re hardly a few feet from them, it’s impossible to tell it’s them. Steam curls up from the ground in ribbons, creating a layer thick enough to cover your ankles. There’s an energy in the air similar to that of a thunderstorm. Mostly it’s the smell: the stench of cursed energy. The cold renders your fingers numb. To warm them, you cup your hands to your mouth and blow.

“Why are you still here?!” You ask. “Shoko told me you went home!”

Shoko holds her hands up as if to say ‘don't bring me into this’.

“I came back.” Nobara says. “And I’m glad I did! Where the hell have you been? You were supposed to stay here and keep stuff like this from happening!”

She’s not exactly wrong, you just don't want to admit it.

“How long ago did this happen?” Kirara asks.

“A few minutes before I called.” Nobara says. “He didn't seem to take any interest in the school, just—” she motions to the crater before her, “—this.”

Twenty minutes. That’s how long it takes to get from Nanami’s apartment to Jujutsu Tech. Kenjaku has had at least twenty minutes to get into the Tomb of the Star Corridor.

“Stay here,” you say, “call me if he comes back this way.”

Tengen’s barrier lies around you in shards. What isn't broken, forms a honeycomb pattern in the sky. In the air, cursed energy lingers strong enough to taste. Choso’s is tangible; like blood in the air. Even if you weren't paying attention, you could sense it. Led only by residuals, you descend further into the Tomb of the Star Corridor.

After ten or so yards, the hallway opens up into a room—unrecognizable to you. Perhaps at one point it was part of the training rooms. Maybe it was once part of a section unused by you, or anyone for that matter. The stress on Tengen’s barrier has left it in shambles. Rooms appear to overlap. Others lie in ruin. Off in the distance, all you can make out is a dining room, with a vase of lilies on the table.

With a groan, the ground in front of you splits open. Something gritty in texture fills your mouth. It’s a miracle you remain on your feet, let alone upright. Your hands fly up to shield your face from the onslaught of debris.

It took you a while to get the hang of using Tengen's barrier. Navigating the maze-like corridors is difficult at best, and impossible at worst. The trick is to not fight them, but move with them.

You're able to slip into an adjacent room just before the entrance collapses. Tengen's barrier swirls around you, revealing a hall. At the end of it is only one door. Choso's brothers, right where you left them. It’s up to your ankles now—the fog, lapping at your shoes. A rumbling from above causes a shock of fear to run down your spine. If you stall much longer, you risk having the room come down on your head.

From the bed, you seize a bag, and a bundle of clothes. On top of that goes the remaining vials—you count seven altogether. You pray that the clothes will prevent them from breaking. On top of everything else, the last thing you’d want is to be covered in whatever substance was used to preserve them.

Throwing the pack over your shoulder, you make a break for the door. The last view you’re granted of your shared room, is one of the ceiling splitting in half.

That's when you see him, lying on his side in the dirt. Choso.

His back is to you. You strain your eyes, searching for any sign of movement. Is he even breathing?

Yuki’s arm is bent at an unnatural angle. Although she does a great job at disguising it, her brows are knit, and she trembles slightly—she’s in pain. Lots of it. Sweat beads on her temple. Even from here, her cursed energy output is tangible. The smell of it is like alcohol; not the drinking kind, but the kind used in hospitals. It’s enough to make you sick. You want to fall to your hands and knees and retch, but with only tea in your stomach, you know the action would provide you little relief.

Yuki is losing.

If they do notice you, then they make no note of it.

It’s not often that you’ve seen her fight. At least in any real capacity, that is. Before, all you witnessed were small skirmishes; practice fights against her, and a brief time back at Shibuya. You’ve never witnessed her, a special grade sorcerer, in action.

To be a special grade sorcerer, is to have the power to take down nations. An almost incomprehensible amount of strength. Gojo—obviously—has such abilities; as well as Sukuna. Even Suguru Geto did before his demise.

But Yuki is pouring every last bit of cursed energy into him, and she is still losing.

Her Shikigami is still moving, she’s still alive.

Draw him away from Yuki. Give her time to heal herself. That’s all you have to do. Stalling him for just a minute seems possible. Not easy, but possible.

You feel comically underprepared in this situation, armed only with a knife that you have to dive to grab before it’s crushed by more debris. Another moment of hesitation would have led to both you and it being buried under falling rock. You almost want to laugh at the strangeness of it all.

Shards of Tengen’s barrier fall around you, glittering in the low light. You’re on your feet, then back on the ground in less than half a second. Tripped by shockwaves from deep within the earth. With your ear to the floor, you can feel it more clearly now.

Kenjaku is tearing this place apart.

Residuals flood your limbs. Adrenaline pumps through you in the same way, allowing you to ignore the pain in your hands from scraping them across concrete. You allow that cursed energy to flow down your arm, into your weapon. You’re diving out of the way before your brain can register what’s happening. The skin on your palms, and elbows is raw from hitting the ground. You’ll be picking gravel from your skin for an indefinite amount of time. Assuming you make it out of here.

Kenjaku is closer now, having moved out of the path of Yuki’s strike. Hell, he makes it look easy. You know that if you were in his place, you would not have the same luck. You try to remember the little things Choso taught you: redirecting your opponent's energy, closing the gap between you and your opponent, controlling their weapons- whether that be physically or psychologically.

But you're not stronger than Choso. And you’re certainly not stronger than Kenjaku.

Below you, the ground rumbles, ripe with the scent of cursed energy. A cursed spirit, tearing apart the earth below you. Dodging out of its initial path is easy enough, it’s the following hit that knocks the wind from you, sending you flat on your back. Your pack catches on your shoulder blade at the last second, landing harmlessly at your side. Though a silent curse leaves you, its relief that you feel. Nothing sounds broken.

You can taste it now; the blood in the air. The fear. The cursed energy. The smell of what’s taken place will linger in the air for days, festering. Neither magic nor the passing of time will cleanse the rift that has opened here.

That’s when you finally get a better look at what’s in his hand. A mini Uzumaki.

Yuki’s eyes fly open. So does her mouth; open in a silent scream. The look on her face is one of fear.

Getting in between Choso and him is pointless; Yuki’s injuries claim her life before you take the first step.

“Wait!” You call out. “Wait! I wish to make a deal with you.”

That seems to pique his interest, as well as earn a noise of protest from Choso. The little bit of cursed energy you’ve gathered in your hands falters as you speak. It’s nearly impossible to read Kenjaku’s expression, but you swear he’s grinning.

It’s all about controlling your opponent. Whether that be physically, or psychologically.

“So you wish to make a binding vow?” He asks.

“Yes! I will allow you to use my body—my cursed technique—” you say, “only if you enter the Culling Game on my behalf. Just… just as long as you promise me you’ll leave this place, and spare Choso.”

You like to think you play the pathetic part rather well. Perhaps you aren't acting as much as you want to say you are. That this is real fear bubbling up through your chest

He’s close enough now that you can smell the cursed energy that radiates off of him. It’s particularly bitter.

“Such a shame…” He says. Kenjaku’s hands move to cup your face. They’re cold. You cringe away. “I would like to try out that cursed technique of yours, but unfortunately for you, your plan has failed. I do not wish to make a deal with-”

You plunge the knife straight into Kenjaku’s abdomen. His eyes shoot open in a mix of shock, and pain.

“You… you…” When his hands move to pull out the knife, blood seeps out, staining the front of his shirt.

Kenjaku moves too fast for you to see him swing. By then, you feel the force of his hit. You recoil, hands flying up to protect your face too late. The knife has carved a wound that spans from your forehead, to your chin.

Head wounds—even minor ones—bleed considerably. A metallic smell lingers so heavily in the air that you can taste it. Your hands find the ground and you retch, pulling your knees in towards your chest. The pain, while not unbearable, is impossible to ignore. Your hands come up to wipe away at the blood that spills into your eyes, but it does little to help.

“Don't mistake my use for you for need.” Kenjaku says. “You are still expendable.”

He wasn't trying to kill you. If he wanted you dead, you would be. The thought does little to console you. No, he wants you to remember this moment. Every time you look in the mirror, or see the look on the faces of others. He wants this moment to be burned into your mind.

Getting to your feet isn't an easy task. Between your injury, and the unsteady ground, you stumble at least twice before you succeed. Enough adrenaline courses through you that you can ignore it. For now. It may be hours, or it may be mere minutes before it wears off and you’re left with the full reality of your injuries.

Now you understand why Yuki wasn't healing herself.

Such a task isn't impossible. Reversed crushed energy, unlike its counterpart, comes from the brain, not the heart. To defeat someone who can utilize it, would be to destroy the brain. Or in your case: a head wound significant enough to disrupt the creation of it.

All you have to do is distract him. At least long enough to give Choso a clear shot. At least long enough for him to flee.

“You are going to regret not killing me here,” you say, “or at Shibuya. Now, and for every day that you live.”

Gravel crunches underfoot as he stops to turn back to you.

“I too find this similar to Shibuya.” Says Kenjaku, a wolfish grin splitting his face. “You appear towards the end of a fight, injured, spewing threats you have no intention nor willpower to follow through with. You really are pathetic… I had such high hopes for you.”

You gather a wad of blood and saliva in your mouth, spitting it at him. He’s too far away. It falls just short. Your threat—if you can even consider it one—has fallen flat.

“What a pain,” says Kenjaku, feigning exasperation, “Jujutsu Tech kept a tight lid on your file; finding any information on it was a pain. You’re not at all like your brother. You lack his… finesse.”

Blood loss has rendered you dizzy. The few coherent thoughts you have, are now foggy.

“We’re still 0-2, old man,” you say. You try to laugh, but it comes out sounding like a wheeze. “Or did you already forget what happened back at the estate?”

Kenjaku stops about a foot in front of you. Close enough for you to smell the cursed energy that radiates off of him. The blood, and sweat. The years of death and decay.

You brace yourself for a hit that never comes. A moment of hesitation on his end—not hesitation, this had to be intentional—saves you from further injury.

As one final act of defiance, Tengen has ejected the cursed womb painting, and the swordsman from his barrier.

…

Spring has arrived with a vengeance, as evident in the chilly mornings, and warm, sweet evenings. Afternoons consist of off and on thunderstorms. The curtains—sheer and white—are drawn closed. Early morning sunlight streams in through them.The cat—a large, tuxedo tomcat—lays atop the ottoman. His fur, while normally black, has begun to turn brown from the sunlight. Soft chirps leave him as he moves to sit up, his gaze fixed on something just outside the window—a bird.

“Hey, where did you put my running shoes?” You call out.

When Choso ducks into the hallway, you nearly jump at the sight of him. To anyone else, it would be unnoticeable, but you have spent so many moments studying the lines of his face, that you can tell something is different. He looks older. Not by much—maybe a few years at most. He’s put on a healthy bit of weight—his cheeks are no longer so gaunt, and the harsh angles of his body have softened considerably. The corners of his eyes wrinkle more when he smiles. He hums along to something. Maybe it's Matt Maltese? Whatever it is, it sounds familiar.

March 2023, the calendar on the wall reads. A vase of flowers sits wilting on the table. Dahlias. Bursts of red and purple, and a burgundy so dark it almost appears black. The TV is on, but muted. Your gaze soon falls to a picture on the wall: a valley, divided down the middle by a stream. In the foreground of the picture is Choso, standing as if he had no clue you were taking a photo of him. So oddly familiar, yet you can't recall ever being there, or taking it.

It feels too real as he takes your hand in one of his much warmer ones, but the glowy haze that covers everything reminds you that this is not reality. Yet you can't pull yourself from it; content to let these soft, light colors pull you under.

Running shoes? That's more concerning than anything else about this situation.

Choso’s hands are warm as they move to cup your cheeks. “Thought I lost you there for a moment,” he says. “Are you feeling alright?”

“I’m fine,” you say, leaning in to kiss him. “No need to worry.”

Three quick knocks on the front door tear you both away from your conversation.

…

Choso isn't certain how much time passes as he sits there. Nobara stops by once to hand him a clean shirt, insisting he put something on. She must return to her dorm, because he doesn't hear or see her at all afterwards. Aside from the steady tick tick tick of the clock on the wall, the hallway is silent.

It's unsafe to remain here, he thinks. Kenjaku could return at any time.

The sound of a door opening is enough to get him on his feet. Shoko exits from a room to his left, carrying her coat over her arm. An unlit cigarette hangs out of the corner of her mouth. In her hands, she holds something metallic, and silver: a lighter.

His brain is running faster than his mouth could ever hope to. The events of the day play in his head on repeat. How jarring it is to think back on how peaceful it all started out. It almost feels as if hours pass as he stands there. In reality, it’s little more than seconds.

Finally, Choso collects himself enough to speak. “How is…”

“Sleeping off some strong meds, but stable.” Shoko says. “I gave them some IV fluids to treat for dehydration. They should be fine following some rest, but I suggest staying here in the infirmary overnight—just to keep an eye on that concussion.”

“Can I…?” Choso motions to the door. Shoko nods.

Shoko has drawn the blinds closed; not that there’s much of a view outside. This window directly faces another building. Snow has piled up about an inch now. What little light fills the room, comes from the TV: cartoons.

The body beneath the blankets stirs, and Choso’s heart rate quickens considerably. Once again, his thoughts work faster than he can speak, and he takes a moment to collect himself.

“Did I wake you? I’m sorry…” He says.

Choso squeezes your hand. Whether or not it’s intentional, or just a nervous twitch, you can't tell. Neither can he. Choso finally understands what people mean when they say their nerves are fried—exhaustion has set in. The events of the past several weeks have caught up to him; a lack of proper rest, and his mounting injuries growing too significant to ignore.

“It’s okay, I’ve been up for a while now.” You say. A rough edge of sleep still lingers within your voice, saying otherwise.

You scoot back just enough to give him room to join you on the bed. It’s not meant for two people; the two of you have to nearly lay on one another to fit. Neither of you seem to mind.

“How are you feeling?” He asks.

“Shoko gave me some pretty sweet painkillers,” you say with a giggle, “I feel great.”

That’s how the better part of an hour is spent: laying on your side next to him. For a moment, when Choso closes his eyes, he can pretend he’s somewhere else. That he is someone else. Someone—something—human. Such a far off dream falters the moment he opens them.

His hand moves to brush your hair from out of your eyes. It’s not quite long enough to stay tucked behind your ears. For only a moment, his gaze lingers on the scar down your cheek. It’s healed up quite well, considering how deep it was. Shoko’s handiwork. What remains is no more than a thin, pale scar. That’ll likely remain. Maybe over time it will fade. Maybe it’ll be like this for years.

Next, he moves down to your shoulder. To the small, crescent shaped scar that resides there. Any further to the right and it would have been your heart. You would have been dead before you even hit the ground.

His own grief comes bubbling up through his chest. Choso can only swallow it down for so long before it boils over.

The kiss he presses to the top of your head is brief. Choso uses it as an excuse to draw you closer to his chest, letting your limbs tangle with his. Concealing his face feels better than the alternative. You’re already hurt, he thinks. The last thing you need is to worry about him.

It was easier to blame jujutsu society as a whole. To blame the man that fathered him. To blame the deaths of his brothers on you, and Itadori. It was anger that sustained him, and burned him through, leaving him in such a sorry state. Perhaps it was anger, or perhaps fate felt particularly cruel the day it placed you both in Shibuya.

To Choso, life as a cursed spirit was easier than life as a human. Humanity was a far off, unattainable dream. A nightmare walking. A life he did not want to subject his brothers to. And in doing such, lead to their deaths.

Why could he hate humanity when it looks like this curled up in his arms?

Love and grief overlap, and his body betrays him. He trembles. It’s not until he takes a shaky breath that he notices the hot tears spilling down his cheeks.

Beneath him, you stir, roused by either the noise or movement. With your face still buried in his chest, you throw an arm around his waist, and a leg over his. He’s trembling harder now. It takes less than a moment for you to sober up, and pull him closer.

“You lost so much blood I wasn't sure if you… you…”

He’s not certain if he’s talking about last night, or Shibuya. Taking a shaky breath, he can at least pretend to collect himself. You can only sit there and hold him, your hands tangled in dark locks of hair. Choso is silent, but he’s trembling.

The events of the previous night play through your mind on repeat. Aside from the strange chill in the air—one that seems to never go away—there is no sign of last night’s events.

Why hasn't the merger started?

“Can I say something kinda shitty?” You ask, despite not waiting for his response. “I’m not very sad that Yuki is gone,

“I mean, I thought I’d be?” You continue. “We only knew each other for a few weeks, but I thought that after all the time we spent together I would feel something now that she’s dead. But I just kinda feel… okay, I guess. Is that bad?”

The arm around your waist tightens. Choso is silent, but not by means of judgment. Often he finds himself struggling to put his own emotions into words—to process it like humans do. The complexity of these experiences is something he has only just begun to scratch the surface of. Calling it confusing would be an understatement. He is quite literally staring down the maze of infinity.

“Grief is a strange thing,” Choso says, “one I have yet to understand. But you are not wrong in feeling these things.”

You roll on your side to face him. “I don't think I’m grieving, though.”

Why wouldn't you be? Choso thinks. For all the people you lost, or will lose?

Do you grieve for your home? He asks himself. For the life you once had thousands of miles from here? Do you mourn for a family you haven't lost?

“I'm sorry,” he says, “I took the easy way out. I took what I thought was the easy path and all I did was hurt the people I love!”

You sense him trembling, and pull him closer. There’s not a whole lot you could say that would console him; Choso is too reserved to his fate to change it. So you simply hold him, allowing the waves of his emotions to run their course.

In a few hours, you’ll be back in working condition. If it weren't for various threats from Shoko herself, and the cocktail of meds coursing through your veins, you’d be up and moving around now.

“I don't want you to blame yourself for what happened last night,” you say. “Or for any of this. Honestly? It's practically a miracle we both made it out of there alive but…

“I don't know. I used to think you and I were cursed. Sometimes I still do. But really? I think we’re some of the luckier ones.”

Choso would hardly call himself lucky. Between the deaths of his brothers, and the cruel twist of fate that would become of his soulmate, luck is little and far between.

Choso Kamo did not die as a curse back in Tengen’s barrier, in the midst of some great battle. He did not die a glorious nor dignified death. Choso dies as a curse in the arms of his lover, to live with them a life as a human.

#blood ties #jjk x reader #choso kamo x reader #choso x reader #its been so long ive forgotten how to tag skjdfhhks

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