#i need to stop saying I Want To Stream cause ive said this for years and ive never streamed

[james-spooky]

this is a test

[todayisafridaynight]

when ishin comes out i kinda wanna stream it i feel like thatd be hilarious but also im very a bad at streaming...

[luvhughes43]

say yes to heaven (track one) | tz11 x reader

cruel world [masterlist]🕊

word count: 2.1k

Rolling Stone

Date: June 28th, 2023

Growing up, Yn Ln always dreamt that she would become a singer. Her inspirations were figures well beyond her years, taking inspiration from the likes of great artists from decades past. Her melancholic style became instantly notable when she first hit the scene a few short weeks ago with her debut single, video games. Of course, none of her earlier works can be found on streaming services anymore, but her style has remained consistent over the years as she now releases her debut album in 2023. 

interviewer: Yn, your album “Cruel World” has become an instant cult classic for music reviewers and fans alike. But what everyone really wants to know is what, and who, inspired you?

Yn laughs lightly, rubbing her palms on her jeans before she starts talking.

Yn Ln: It was [pause].. it was a long process. I was inspired by my real life [another pause] and my friends' lives. A lot of things went into creating the album. I’ve spent years working on it. 

interviewer: Are you aware of the rumours surrounding the album? That every song is about an ex of yours? Trevor I think his name is?

Yn tenses briefly at the mention of her ex and swipes her palms against her jeans once more.  

Yn Ln: Like I said, the album was inspired by things I've gone through. I don’t feel the need to put names to songs.

She laughs lightly trying to ease the tension of the room.

Interviewer: Well, regardless, Cruel World is an amazing album.

Yn smiled politely, taking a sip of her coffee.

when yn hughes first laid her eyes on trevor zegras, she felt a spark. when she went to bed that night she didn’t dream about her favourite characters, or books, she didn’t even create perfect little scenarios. no, she fell asleep to thoughts of her brothers best friend. his soft hair, the way he glided the puck across the ice, his smile and enthusiasm when his team did well… yn hughes was doomed from the start. 

‘cause ive got my mind on you

i’ve got my mind on you

you didn't actually meet trevor face to face till a week after first seeing him. your twin, Jack, had invited him and a few other friends over to the house for the day. you laid in bed, eyes closed listening to all the commotion below before you decided to go downstairs and greet everyone. 

when you finally made your way to the group, you stood awkwardly at the bottom of the stairs. the wood chilly as you watched your brother and his friends play fight. 

“I’m trevor!” one of the boys beamed as he stepped away from the group of rowdy boys. 

you smiled softly in response as trevor ruffled his hair. “i’m yn-”

“jacks twin! right, i've heard so much about you! you know, i always wondered if it was true that twins had like, intuition? Is that a thing?” trevor rambled, his words fast and inquisitive, a habit which presented itself quite frequently. 

you laughed, nodding in the small breaks of trevors words as he kept talking about twins and their behaviours he had apparently heard about. 

when he finally stopped his speech, yn answered his first of many questions. “i mean i dont know about intuition but…” 

“trev!” jack called, “get over here, stop talking to yn!”. he was shaking an xbox controller, gesturing for trevor to come join their group of friends who were lounging on the sofa ready to play. 

“but he always seems to pick up on when i'm having a good time” you smiled cheekily. 

trevors face burned red and he rubbed at his neck absentmindedly as he looked you up and down. you watched his eyes trail, and you had never felt so giddy in all of your life. butterflies fluttered in your stomach until trevor broke away from you. 

“Ill uh- ill.. i’ll see you around,” trevor finished lamely, clearly feeling the same giddiness you felt as he sharply turned away from you and sat next to your brother. you stood in your spot for another second, watching as trevor tried to hide his smile from your brother. 

the house was quiet as you made your way into your kitchen for a glass of water. you had fallen after working on some music and you woke up dazed and a little confused.

you open the fridge, the little light partially illuminating the kitchen. a figure moves out of the darkness causing you to jump and let out a little shriek. 

your breathing speeds up, one of your hand coming to rest over your mouth as trevor steps into the light of the fridge. 

“Its just me!” trevor says, voice hoarse with sleep. he lays a had on your shoulder, watching you with wide eyes as you try to calm yourself down.

“what are you doing here?” you asked breathlessly as your breathing started to slow. “uh your parents let me and a few other guys stay over tonight” trevor explained, hand still resting on your shoulder.

“what? when?” trevors hand falls from your shoulders and moves to brush through his hair. 

“after dinner. you were up in your room playing… the guitar was it? It sounded really nice”

“thanks…” your face heated and you were so glad that you hadn't decided to turn the kitchen light on. 

“what were you working on anyway?” trevor changed the subject as he opened the fridge and pulled out a jug of milk.

your nose crinkled as he grabbed his discarded cup and poured himself a glass. “oh you know,” you shrugged your shoulders. you didn’t know why you did it but you never wanted to talk about your music. with all your brother's talents and successes, you felt that you choosing music was an embarrassment to your family even though you knew at heart that it wasn’t true. 

trevor must have picked up on your hesitancy so he shrugged, bringing his glass of milk to his lips as he took another swig. 

“milk?” you questioned, and trevor held the glass out for you to take.

“want some?” he asked, tilting the glass towards you.

“definitely not”

“it makes your bones strong and stuff, you should try it” 

“Trevor i've drank milk before,” you say sarcastically.  

“well yeah but like, you know what i mean” 

you rolled your eyes playfully, “okay fine give me the glass,” you reached your hand out and trevor passed his cup to you. you peered into the cup.

“its just milk it's not gonna hurt you” trevor laughed as he leaned back against the kitchen counter. 

you tentatively took a sip and when you finished you passed the glass back to trevor. 

“how was it?” “gross”

“yeah okay,” trevor rolled his eyes, leaning his head back as he finished the rest of the glass. 

you reached past trevors shoulder, grabbing a glass to fill with water. 

“well, im going to go to bed,” trevor nods to you as he sets his now empty glass in the sink. 

“goodnight,” you respond as you fill your glass.

“yah night,” trevor walks out of the kitchen and you watch him leave.

what the hell was that? you whisper to yourself, downing the rest of your water before heading to bed yourself. 

the next few weeks followed similarly. you and trevor would have these weird random moments, and you would both awkwardly smile at each other and move on with your days. that was until the boys decided to have a bonfire now that your parents were out of town to celebrate the start of the summer. 

you felt the warm heat of the fire on your legs as you sat near the pit with your friend. you watched absentmindedly as trevor talked to his friends before you felt the weight of your friend's hand on your shoulder. 

“you know yn, if you want him that badly then…” you whipped your head around at your friends words.

“what?” your eyes were wide in shock. you hadn’t told anybody about your growing feelings for trevor. 

“I’m just saying you’re not being really secretive…”

“he's my brother's best friend” you shrugged, your eyes drifting from your friend and back to the boy in question. He was nursing a beer he had somehow managed to sneak past his own parents.

“okay… what does that have to do with anything? hes hot” your friend shrugs. 

“hes also jacks teammate it just, it wouldn't work out the way i’d want it to” you expressed your reasons on why you couldn't date trevor and it sounded more ridiculous each time. you knew you wanted to be with him, and honestly, jack wasn't what you were worried about. you were more worried of the possible rejection. sure you and trevor had spent time together and talked. but majority of that time was when the two of you were alone. what if trevor doesn't want anything more than the private meetups? 

“how do you want it to work out?”

you fiddled with your hands, ignoring your friends question.

“he clearly likes you though, if that's what you're worried about” you hummed in response, lazily turning your head to look at trevor again. He smiled at you when he caught you looking. you didn't have the energy to look away. you knew then that you'd rather be rejected then not with him at all. 

let the fear you have fall way

i’ve got my eye on you

i’ve got my eye on you

say yes to heaven

say yes to me

“trev!” you hear jack call from across the fire pit, “can you go get us more marshmallows?” the boy easily agrees as he stands up from his lawn chair and begins to make his way inside. 

“Yn im thirsty!” your friend quickly says, pushing you up and off your seat. “can you get me a root beer?” she pleads, causing your brothers and his friends to shift their attention to the two of you. you quickly catch on to what she's doing, and you nod with enthusiasm. 

“does anyone else want something?” you ask the group as you slowly back away. Jack asks for water, and you nod before following Trevor into your house. 

the house was silent as the two of you worked your way around the kitchen. just as trevor was about to make his way back outside again, you stopped him. your hand tugged on his wrist and he was turning back to face you.

“trevor,” you breathed out, a little shocked at your sudden courage.

“yn,” he whispered back. you could hear the faint sound of the fire crackling and everyone's laughter out in the backyard.

it felt magnetic, the pull that brought your lips up to meet his. the kiss was soft and innocent. something that could easily be explained away as a spur of the moment thing. you refused to let it.

“yn,” trevor whispered again, this time painfully.

“trevor,” you were hopeful. 

he kissed you again, one of his hands coming down to settle on your waist as your arm wrapped itself around his neck. 

when you both pulled apart, trevor rested his forehead against yours, his breath slowing down as you both relaxed. 

“we cant do this,” trevor said almost regretfully as his head turned at the sound of your brothers loud voice teasing cole. 

“we can do whatever we want” you replied, ignoring all the background noise.

“jacks your twin. he's my teammate. my best friend. i can't just-”

“say yes to me” you blurted and your face heated up instantly. 

“It's not that easy-”

“yes it is. trevor just say yes to me and we can figure out what to do with jack later,” 

trevor seemed unsure of what to say for the first time. 

“What's taking you so long! damn!” jacks voice pops the bubble you and trevor had built not even a minute earlier. 

“sorry i couldn't find the marshmallows,” trevor mumbles, stepping away from you and towards your brother. 

“why didn’t you help hin y/n? don't be rude” your brothers voice seemed to pierce the quiet of the kitchen.

“he didn’t want me to help,” you replied quietly, reaching behind you for the water bottle jack had asked for earlier. 

“well that was stupid. she literally lives here z she knows where everything is,” jack responded cluelessly.

“Yeah, right, my bad” trevor nodded along with his words as he watched jack reach into a corner cabinet to retrieve a bag of marshmallows. 

I’ll put my red dress on, get it on

and if you fight, i’ll fight

it doesn’t matter, now its all gone

i got my mind on you

ynhughes

liked by jackhughes, trevorzegras, yourbff, and others

ynhughes ❤️

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yourbff hottest bff ever🤤

ynhughes love u

jackhughes “❤️”

ynhughes if u dont leave me alone…

[insta dms]

trevorzegras: I’m sorry about that night

trevorzegras: I just don't want jack mad at me yk? I do really like you and I shouldn't have just left things like that

ynhughes: what are you trying to say?

trevorzegras: That i'm saying yes to you

trevorzegras: and that i’m sorry

present day

ynhughes

liked by lhughes_06, colecaufield, yourbff, and others

ynhughes say yes to heaven, mv out now❤️ i love u all so much

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yourbff im crying real tears i love you so so much

ynhughes i love u more forever

fan01 just listened to say yes to heaven for the first time and it's soo beautiful

fan02 love you so much yn

liked by ynhughes

lhughes_06 very cool

[boabel]

ok but now I need azurtiger content you gave me a new otp

OLDER COUSINS SOULMATES FOREVER

THEYRE MY LOVES FOREVER AND ALWAYS OK!!!!! so i have this little au i cooked up where something causes tigris to rebel earlier (maybe like 5-10 years post-tbosas) and coriolanus sends her to twelve to serve as a peacekeeper, since his resentment of the place is somewhat still fresh in his mind.

before you read: tw for suicidal thoughts and mentions of murder (just thg stuff in general)

here's a little scenario that ive been thinking of from said au (which i'll probably turn into a one-shot soon!)

- so tigris is depressed and resents the capitol for what they did to her, and also for what they've been doing to victors and tributes this whole time.

- she ends up wandering off to the meadow at one point, sick of the constant noise of the district and the duties of being a peacekeeper. at this point, she's contemplating suicide. she hates that she's actively aiding the capitol and wants her duties to end, though they can't because she needs to serve for at least twenty years.

- she sits down on the old rock lucy gray used to use when she was writing her songs, and spots an old goat in the distance. his lead is roped to a tree branch, so his owner is definitely around here somewhere.

- suddenly, barb azure comes up behind tigris, startling her.

- barb only spots tigris' clothing, peacekeeper fatigues.

- "you know damn well you ain't supposed to be around here, peacekeeper. get lost."

- tigris turns around, and barb looks at her blankly, not recognising her as one of the peacekeepers that comes around trying to cause trouble with the covey.

- tigris seems to almost be entranced, she isn't sure how to respond.

- barb doesn't budge on her point, though, having dealt with spiteful peacekeepers a hundred times over.

- "can you hear me? i said go!"

- "oh, i'm-, im sorry. i never knew this meadow was out of bounds. ill get out of your hair."

- barb azure pauses, recognising tigris and her accent from somewhere.

- "you're new 'round here, aren't you?"

- "yes, yes i am. i arrived here about a week ago.. from the capitol. look, im-.." she pauses, trying to read the expression on barb's face. "im really sorry for the inconvenience, ill be sure never to cross this field again if its that much of a bother, i had no idea-"

- barb interrupts her, remembering something. she always was good with faces.

- "i know you from somewhere.. from somebody." after a long stare between the two, something clicks for barb, so apparent so that tigris can see it on her face. "you're snow's cousin, ain't you? well, what's a fancy capitol girl like yourself doing all the way out here? thought it'd be fun, did you? to rub it in our faces that she's gone. well it was him that did it! he killed our lucy gray, not the mayor! and he's gonna pay for it, you mark my words! i may not be able to say nothing in the district, but here i can! he killed her!"

- all tigris can manage to get barb to hear over the shouting is "please, please listen to me. i know what he did! he sent me here! he sent me here with no money, no contact with the capitol and twenty years of peacekeeper duty. i know how you feel, i felt it too! that's why i told him he can't go on like this. that's why im here now. i want to help."

- tigris sits back down on the rock, the tears that have been brewing from years of watching her coryo become somebody else now silently streaming down her cheeks. she hates coriolanus. she hates him.

- barb walks over to her, she hates seeing people cry.

- "you really wanna help, huh?"

- tigris tries to stifle her tears to speak, but its no use.

- "i.. i do. it's what i've been trying to do for the past five years. small things. things i can do to help you from inside the capitol. until he noticed, and it was too late. i think it was lucy gray who made me realise that this world needed changing, and im so, so sorry for what he did to her, and the fact that i couldn't stop him from becoming.. a monster."

- barb sits down next to tigris, and wipes a tear from her cheek. she then says in a soft, comforting tone, which is a stark contrast to how she was just a few minutes before:

- "why don't you come in. we'll talk over some tea."

aaand that's all i have so far!! tysm for the ask, im so glad that i could get someone else to ship them!!

[mikelogan]

hello. i really enjoy your content, but i have to say i'm kinda disappointed on you still being a ts fan. this woman knows what disney does and yet she still gave them the rights, meaning she either doesn't care or actively supports the genocide. or maybe she decided to turn her morals off because money is more important. not to mention how she consistently associates herself with questionable people and how a person literally died in one of her shows on brazil and she gave zero fucks. this woman is not a good person and there are no excuses to being her fan anymore.

no, i fully understand what you're saying and where you're coming from. over the last like. idk year and a half? ive been pretty vocal about my disappointment, distaste, and disagreement with a multitude of the choices she's made lately. i 100% agree that her silence on the subject of palestinian genocide (as well as many other human rights/social causes) is at best a sign of apathy and at worst a sign of support. especially when miss americana was all about her wanting to be more outspoken and be an activist. that all feels so incredibly performative now -- and has for a while. a lot of things that she's said and done since midnights, which is when i became more active in the tumblr swiftie community, have left a bad taste in my mouth for her as a person.

like i said, i genuinely agree with what you're saying. the only thing i take issue with is that she didn't care that a fan died at her show. she donated money to the fan's family and took time to meet them. regardless of my many issues with her, i do think she can be an empathetic person and i don't think that she just straight up didn't care that someone died before her show. it's one of those things (of which there are many) where we'll never know her true thoughts bc she doesn't talk about things. which is frustrating in itself.

now that's not the point of your message, so feel free to write that off as a digression. i strongly disagree with her making yet another version of the eras tour movie and hosting it on disney+. I'm personally boycotting disney+ and have been for a while. I don't even intend on watching the new version and like the vast majority of everything I gif, that shit is pirated -- that's how I watched the original release of the movie. obviously my consumption/boycotting is just one person compared to blondie, who has influence over millions, who could make real change if she spoke out against genocide.

at this point, im not supporting her financially either apart from listening to her music. which i love. im sorry, but I do. if I didn't, we wouldn't be having this conversation. i think her constant churning out different exclusive versions of the same albums are a transparent money grab and maybe an effort to set more records as far as sales or streams or however that all works. and I'm not just saying that bc I literally couldn't even afford to buy a digital copy of an album right now.

so yeah. I appreciate that you enjoy my content and thank you for saying so, but if you need to unfollow or block, i understand. I've definitely toned down/completely stopped sharing posts about her as a person bc I'd much rather focus on just the music. and maybe that makes me a bad person for continuing to listen to and enjoy her music. im not saying i necessarily feel good about it, but i think the fact of the matter is that a lot of the celebrities, actors, musicians, etc. we like or whose content we enjoy hold views we disagree with and have different values or priorities. nuance exists. right now, im someone who is vocal about the palestinian genocide and I try to share resources/posts about it when they come across my dash and im also someone who is a fan of Taylor's music.

Idk, I hope what I'm saying makes sense at least on some level. I've done my best to word things coherently, but brain fog fucks w me a lot. and like. it's probably whatever, but I do plan on changing my url after ttpd releases. That probably upsets you more and I can see how people might think im a hypocrite or something and yeah, I get it. Idk, I just want to enjoy someone's music without endorsing them as a person, but that's extra difficult when the person in question is the biggest singer in the industry. but you'll never see me making excuses for her on things like this or the m*tty situation or numerous other things she's said and done that gross me out. im not so far up her ass that I think she's perfect or that I feel the need to defend her at every turn. like I said, nuance. anyway, if you feel the need to respond, i welcome you to do so as long as we both remain respectful, which I think we've done. this is a difficult topic, but that doesn't mean we can't discuss it. I appreciate your point of view and I'm sorry that I've disappointed you!

[january-summers]

Devil judge episode 5. Trying out a one post ‘live’ blog.

I love the framing and lighting they use for some of these shots. Devil Judge’s nightmare looks like a godsdamned painting.

Devil judge, stop playing baby judge, he’s not stupid, he’s gonna catch on. I do wonder how much of anything is the truth.

Also, the bracelet necklace devil judge is wearing with the crucifix, was his older dopplebrother wearing that in the flashbacks??

Flashback case!! Yeah, I have daydreams like that too.

Lady minister, if you’re there on official business why are you covering your face?

Guard knows that means tlc care right? Not shank him in the kidney for clout?

So mean to… is she the maid? The nanny? The housekeeper? Whomever she is, stop being mean! Or she really will poison you!

Omg live-streaming from the green house XD

Minister has some A+ acting I’ll give her that.

Who’s side are you on pink secretary?!?!

I love Lady Judge. She so bubbly~ and nice and charismatic~ (ooohhh do you think she’s into cops? Cause cop friend likes judges I’m just saying: free GL ship. Oh gosh, I ship them already.)

Cop friend! Doing a bust, don’t get hurt! … YAS slay! She’s so cool~

Okay so wait. Is this guy in the turtle neck the one from last ep when devil judge was telling minister to confess to pushing that politician or whatever to suicide because she framed him for bribes? Is he also the one who was there when devil judge was beating up that dude by the furnace and not a doppelgänger ghost? So many shows would be easier if i was better at faces 😞

Awww baby judge cooked for devil judge. This butler is was smarter than siri and alexa. I like devil judges vest with the shimmery blue purple back panel. I need the vest.

Foot chase with baby judge and cop friend!! Oh shit did that dude just- oh no, he’s alive.

Childhood backstory!!! I love them your honour. Omg she just wants to protect him, the little delinquent.

Ooph, this is not a fun case to have chosen for them. Gonna be a whole load of he said she said.

He confessed?!?! Just like tha- ah. Blackmail, that makes sense… so did he actually commit the crimes? He has the attitude of someone who knows he’s about to get away with something. Aaaand there it is. Piece of trash.

As someone filled with much rage: cut him up. As someone who has the viewer’s perspective and knows this is a trap: oh shit it’s a trap!!!

Playing baby judge again :(

What the shit is going on in devil judge’s psyche? This is the most twisted version of “we become the one who could have saved us the time that no one did” i have ever seen. But also good for him. Baby judge! Come back and give him a hug!!!

Bonding!!!!

Baby judge had a bike?! A motorbike?!?! Aww the little delinquent~ rip bike.

(Also: “while ive been living with him I’ve discovered my true passion! I want to be a house husband~”)

“Accomplice.”

Awww, the kids are playing corporal punishment. That’s terrifying. Baby judge legit scared by how much power and influence they have.

“Why does baby judge get a waifu army while i get mutilation cults?” Oh jee I wonder why (sarcasm)

Baby girl is so smart~

!!! Lady judge!!! Definitely needs a girlfriend who’s allowed to legally shoot some fools!!!

Poor baby judge, he’s really conflicted. On the one hand: this actor is a monster, on the other: human rights must apply to everyone or they soon apply to no one. On the third hand: what is the ability to punish people with mutilation going to do the the country’s psyche?

Oh that some next level scribbles of extreme ire. … wait? What? Really? That’s all? Huh.

Enjoy getting shanked in prison asshat! !!! Wait, poison? … can you chemically castrate someone like that?

“Appendicitis” sure it is. Oh this is sus. Dude is just cutting em off, how the hell did he sneak into the theatre? What is he from devil judge’s cult? … omg it’s devil judge! (I am even worse with faces when there’s masks an-)

Dream sequence?!?! It was a dream sequence? Wait, how much of it?!?!?!

The whole sentencing? … 20 years and the worst prison they could find!!!! (Not super comfy about the “we’re waiting for you sweetstuff~” rape is never ok not even as punishment for rapists. Imma just pretend they’re only saying it to scare him and that he will live the rest of his life in fear like his victims would have.)

Baby girl~ she’s so clever~

Oh i know that envelope.

The car’s gonna stop before it hit- RUDE

Creepy recreation of his house.

… pink secretary isn’t actually his sister in law after cosmetic surgery to hide the extensive burns on a crusade of revenge is she?

Ohhhh!!! A maid!!! Wait. Is she the maid he “convinced to throw herself from the roof” in his tragic backstory?

BAD TOUCH!!!! BADTOUCH BADTOUCHBADTOUCH!!!!!

All respect for her lost!

And i get the feeling i know why he got her to jump if she is the jumping maid. (Assuming he was even responsible for that) >:( grrr

(Why’d she have the necklace though?)

[taeyamayang]

FIRST OFF im terribly sorry for replying late to this, i had a lot going on (personally, some stuff i cant say here) so ive been out of tumblr or social media in general but hey! when i saw this i got really excited! i'd love to know how you're doing (even if im late to it

WILLOOOOOOOW omg she's gotten so big?? i have pretty small body frame so i feel like meeting willow and her jumping to me will make me fall to my back (but ngl i love it when dogs hugs me in a rough way lol they're just so cute and cuddly!). can i just say that willow looks like a prim and proper young lady ready to be served in a five star fine dining? lol she is sooo cute LOOK AT HER PAWS! it's curved like those of cats

I remember hyperfixating on boku no hero too! i almost became a writer for MHA but there just too many characters and i didnt know where to start and what you said is actually true! it's hard to look for content of characters you like esp on tumblr since this app has few users in comparison to twitter (or X) or other apps. i liked stain before too! lol but i've always been a loyal to todoroki, hawks, and amajiki.

OHMYGOD YOUR SELF THO YOUR SELF!! that is some serious goals there. please, i want to collect stuff too but you know, adulting just sucks sometimes (nah im actually just very thrifty lololol) but your collection is amazing! ive been thinking of getting figurines too but you know once you start getting ONE character, you couldn't get enough. it becomes an addiction.

YOU HAVE THE TRIO AS FIGURINES HOLY SHIT IM JEALOUS THAT IS SO GOOD AND ANDDD TSUYUUUU YOU HAVE TSYUUU SHES MY ABSOLUTE FAVE IN MHA like among the girls she's my top 1. you also have haikyuu merch omg pls im trying to stop myself from purchasing a kenma lamp (been trying to tell myself that i NEED it for sanity's sake) AND OMG YOU ALSO HAVE THE MANGAS NOOOOOOOOOO IVE BEEN THINKING OF GETTING MANGAS TOOOOOO NOOOOOOOOO god this is tempting me. i wanted to get haikyuu, jjk, chainsaw man, and tokyo rev mangas but i dont know yet which volume to get bc obvsly i cant get vol. 1 to the most recent bc my bookshelf is already full. i mean, i already have books in it so i can't fit everythinggg but once i get them ill send you a picture too!

and about your oc have you written a piece with her in it? i might have missed it since it took me a WHOLE MONTH to reply to this. if you have please send it to me! i want to read it!! her quirk being freaky blood/guts/gore kind of thing is interesting and i like the art you commissioned for her! THE RED HAIR AND PIERCING ROCKS HOLY CRAP.

jjk is...idk what to say man it's just very draining for me to read (i usually read mangas of animes i really liked) i had to stop reading it every now and then bc it's reallyyyy draining like it reminds me of attack on titan or something.

I dont know what mortal kombat is but i should check it out since ive been into games recently. oh, and about games. im thinking of streaming my games on yt or twitch! i have a few up already on yt and tiktok but im not consistent to it yet (since like i said early i had a lot going on in my personal life) but ill probably srsly start it by the end of the year. ill check other games too, so i think ill get a good look on mortal kombat!

NIRVANAA omg i remember liking them or a short time in high school. i remember having a nirvana shirt lol and i wore them during school festival. i like their music so much! it resonated to me esp high school years. unfortunately, i dont listen to them that much these days. i actually feel like an old aunty who doesn't know pop culture cos im not /that/ active when it comes to listening to artists. maybe i should start browsing albums and song. i'll start with the ones you like and ill tell you my feedback!

that idea is great! go ahead and write about psychology! you may inspire people or help them through your writing. it always feels nice to know that you're wrtiting for a cause. you should go ahead and try that! ill always support you of course <3

about my life, well, while i was out out of tumblr i started writing a journal but it's not the ordinary journal where you go "dear diary" or smth like that lol it's like a poetic journal where i write my feelings into metaphor so it's sort like a memoir but it's also my journal. that has been helping me a lot through tough times, so thanks to writing AGAIN and as always for giving me a room to breathe. also, i had an interesting interaction with a childhood enemy we had like a situationship going on like a month ago but LMAOOOO MEN ARE MEN IG i chose not to talk to him anymore lmao it's a long story for next time maybe. and something exciting probablyyyy... i had my first job 2 weeks ago! im lucky to land a nice job so currently im quite busy with trainings and all that but im enjoying it so far!

christmas is coming. do you have any plans? i always loved christmas even as a kid so im excited for holiday season. im looking forward to spending time with friends and family (relatives and all that) plus good food! how are you spending christmas? do you celebrate it?

it was nice to hear from you kale! and i really reallyyyy missed you. i enjoyed reading your life update and to know that you're well in every aspect. i hope to hear more from you!! and i sincerely wish you genuine happiness. keep thriving queeen!! YOU GOT THIS!!

I SAW U ON MY NOTIFS OMG ITS BEEN SO LONG HOW ARE YOU??

I don’t know why I just saw this omg!! I’ve been good :) I’ve been working a lot and busy with classes and just everything else life has to offer 😂

Willow is almost 2 years old now!! and she’s gotten so big and she’s been much more well behaved too!!

I’ve been on and off Tumblr and usually just go on to read some stuff on my favorite fandoms which surprisingly there isn’t a lot of the things im looking for!! I’ve really taking a liking to My Hero Academia but specifically 3 characters- Best Jeanist, Edgeshot, and Stain which there is like NO new content on them!! I haven’t finished the anime yet since im more of a manga reader than an anime watcher 😔

but more on Best Jeanist- I have become addicted to his character 😭 I’ve rebranded some of my usernames to him and I have a collection of merchandise of him on my shelf!! It started as a joke but it’s not a joke anymore!! same with Stain and Edgeshot, but most of my money has gone to Best Jeanist. I’m so sad there’s not much content on him, I say I’ll just write my own but that isn’t true- LOL but that’s ok, I can just use my free time to think of silly little scenarios of him in my head!!

Here’s a picture of my current anime collection, it’s slightly outdated but you get the idea:

Not pictured is a couple One Piece things since I’ve really started to like One Piece again and a couple plushies including a plushie of Shinsuke Kita from Haikyuu because he will always be my favorite (and Tsukishima too!! remember when my user was kaleshima!!)

I’ve always been taking a liking to making an OC and just my oc overall!! She’s mainly a MHA oc with a freaky blood/guts/gore manipulation power (it’s kind dark but I think it’s cool) and omg she’s taken up so much of my time and brain space, I feel like I’ve done more in depth creation of her than of myself 😂 I’ve also been buying a lot of art commissions of her!! I’ll attach a few images below, but I like talking about her so much that if I end up coming back here I might do some writing for her since I’d love someone or some place to talk about her :) all credits to the locket artists, I don’t think any of them have Tumblr though-: (the first image is her with Best Jeanist and the last is her with Stain!!)

I also have gotten into JJK but im still new to it, only watching the first couple episodes and reading the leaks 😭 which is a GREAT way to start omg

Also, don’t you love it when old hyper fixations come back??!??! yeah, that’s me right now with Mortal Kombat!! I’ve been a fan for almost 10 years now and the new game is so good!! and the characters omg… they made them so good 😍 thankfully Tumblr has a lot on them!!

but other than some things coming and going there hasn’t been a lot of new stuff in my life but compared to last year my mood and health has been so much better which is a win in my eyes, plus im starting to like a new guy which is good because I got my heart absolutely shattered little over a year ago and I swear I thought I was never going to recover, but recovery is possible and I give myself a lot of credit for the things I’ve done despite life seemingly staying the same.

I hope to move out of my parents house soon and continue my education further and my social life and all that but ik that won’t happen until a few years which seems like forever but seeing how 2023 has gone by so fast, I have a feeling it’s going to come quicker than it seems

I always say I want to come back to writing on this app and honestly I am in need of a new hobby because yeah listening to music is great but it doesn’t get you far!! which by the way, also a hyper fixation, bands and music and all that- I am really big into Nirvana right now and plan on dressing up as the lead singer Kurt Cobain for Halloween- which is funny I am dressing up because for the first time I have no plans for Halloween!! I’ll probably just bake some goodies and watch scary movies. How is Halloween celebrated where you are, if at all? American culture is so funny- and it’s funny because America doesn’t have much culture, it’s just one big melting pot which makes it unique

Speaking of music, my favorite artists are probably Nirvana (which is a band) and so is Radiohead, Weezer, The Smiths, Ghost, and Korn (which are rock/metal bands, I really recommend them if you’re into that!!) but I also really like Melanie Martinez, Lana Del Rey, Mitski, Alex G, and a couple other solo artists (fun fact, I went to many concerts over the summer including Melanie and Weezer- they were so good!!) what kind of music do you listen to? any you recommend?!

Half way typing this too, I thought of the idea of coming back to Tumblr to write not just drabbles on my current hyper fixations but maybe some life advice and psychology stuff, I have a way with words and advice and all that even though I am considered “to young to know all this” but I see it as both good and bad having an old soul at a young age- and not to say I am a little child either, but I haven’t even been on this earth for 20 years yet, soon enough though

That all being said, I feel like a huge chapter of my life is coming to a wrap up soon and I am excited to start the new one!! I’ve been on this app forever even though I technically shouldn’t have had Tumblr as a pre-teen but hey, we all start somewhere!!

How have you been? Anything new and exciting? Or maybe something you’ve learned? I’ve been trying to learn new hobbies and I’ve started to really dig into what I want to do as a career since I have to really decided soon (I am doing community college right now which is a free 2-3 year schooling opportunity to earn credits before you go off and study a minor or major- not sure if you have that where you live and if you do it’s still probably different)

Anyways I want to study business and business management since I have taken a liking to running/leading an organization/group and coming up with marketing ideas for various groups I spend my time in- including theatre!! I have a local theatre group I work in backstage and I am the stage manager this year which is great since I want to going into management

It’s “late” where I am- actually it’s just 9:30 but I go to bed early especially when I have things to do the next day 😔 I’ll probably just use the excuse I am tired to run to Starbucks and spend my money like I always do. I really have become addicted to Starbucks and it’s only going to worsen as “Capitalism Christmas” comes next

Holidays are so silly to me too, I don’t really enjoy them because they’ve always seemed to cheesy and not like they “advertise” but I hope to make the best of it this year, even if it just ends up being me working that day and then coming home to my dog. What Holidays do you enjoy? Any certain traditions or events you’re looking forward to?

I’ve written down most of my thoughts and this has been the most I’ve written in ages!! Maybe I should answer more asks from now on to get myself into the writing kick!! 😂

I hope you’ve been well and I hope we can talk more soon!! I totally just remembered we have each other on discord too!! I changed my user to @bestkaleist (Best Jeanist reference) so if you’re confused as to who that is, it’s me!!

wishing you all the well!! 🥬

[iwadori]

hii i saw ur taking requests and I wanted to ask if you could do a fic with the miya twins,suna and iwa comforting their s/o after they have a dream of them cheating on her? tysm!

Cheating Misunderstandings with the haikyu boys (Osamu,Atsumu)

Word Count:1.8K

Genre:angst,fluff

masterlist

AN: This was kind of on the lines of what you wanted, but I hope you enjoy it. Also you guys will see an ‘Empress appearance’ in this work....so don’t kill me.

Osamu:

You were walking to miya onigiri ready to pick up Samu to go home

But when you got to the front door you see Osamu in the shop winding touching another girl

You couldn’t see the girl or Osamu properly because of the angle you were at

But you wouldn’t say your eyes were decieving you, so you did what you should do turn on your heel and get out of there.

You were back at your apartment and you were fuming, you were at your desk and decided that distracting yourself with your mountainous amount of paperwork that you had for your job would be better than sitting down and stewing over watching your boyfriend cheat on you.

‘How long has this been going on,’ you thought to yourself ‘Who even is she? She can’t be a worker’ since you knew everyone that worked there and the manager Empress would definitely not let a worker get with Osamu since you were besties after all.

Distracting yourself, obviously didn’t work and you sent yourself into a spiral of social stalking, trying to find this girl. Which didn’t work, as you only saw her hair and her height which was around a foot shorter than Osamu’s. ‘Stupid Osamu’ you thought, how could he do this? Why would you do this?

You wanted to cry, you were going to cry. Outside you heard a car door shut, and looking out your window you saw Osamu walking out the car with his keys in his mouth and bags (presumably food) in his hand.  

You heard some knocking, well kicking at your front door and a light shout of “Babe, can you open the door my arms our pretty full here.” You didn’t answer, you didn’t even move cause you knew if you saw his face it’ll most likely be him saying ‘Y/N im sorry, but theres someone else’ the thought alone made you cringe. You were knocked out of your thoughts with again the kicking of the door and Osamu saying with a laugh “C’mon babe all you really gonna leave a guy stranded out here, ive got your favourite too and its going to get cold”

You reluctantly opened the door, not actually greeting Osamu and just going back to your room to pack away your paper work and close your laptop. To your surprise Osamu was behind you and gave you a quick kiss to your cheek, which you would usually smile and ease into but today you cringed and quickly moved. Making Osamu look at you with a side eye.

By time he was setteled in you were sitting down at the dinner table eating, with the sound of Gordon Ramsey’s Hell Kitchen filling your awkward silence. Osamu did try to speak to you but you always just responded with “yeah,” “sure,” or “maybe.” Short simple answers that Osamu definitely didn’t like.

When dinner was over and it was the time when you two usually watched a shitty reality tv show together, you decided to go to bed early to avoid any more awkward conversation with Osamu. But before you could clamber into bed, Osamu grabs your arm saying “Y/N, what’s wrong with you?”

“What do you mean Samu?” you say with a forced smile on your face even though he couldn’t see it, you just did so he didn’t see you start to tear up “nothing’s wrong with me.”

“Are you Y/N?”

“mhm” you murmured trying to shrug off his hold, you sniffled a bit (attempting to do it quietly) but he heard it.

“No y/n, what’s wrong can’t you just turn around.” The force of you pulling away and he pulling you close, left you falling onto your bed and the tears just started to fall. Osamu immediately crouched down to your eye line “whats wrong love?” he said with a tender voice.

You shook your head in response, “what’s wrong?? Please tell me Y/N.”

“Why would you do that to me?” you say your voice breaking as the tears streamed your face. Osamu started to panick seeing you cry.

“Do what Y/N, what do you mean?”

“You cheated on me? Was I not enough for you? Don’t you love me anymore.”

“Who Y/N!Who.?”

“You touched her, I saw you. I can’t believe you would do that. In public as well” you accused “How could you do that to me.”

“Y/N, baby listen I don’t know what you mean?”

“Don’t call me that Miya, you’re such a fucking liar oh my god.”

“Can you please explain to me what you’re talking about?”

“You. In the shop. I saw you, touching her” you say scowling saying the last line as if It was poisonous.

“In the shop? What do you-” a spark flashed in Osamus eyes before he stood up and started pulling you out the room “You need to come with me.”

“Miya, what are you doing? I’m not going anywhere with you.” you groaned

“Yes you are, and stopped calling me that.”  

He dragged you outside to his car and opened the door for you, standing expectedly waiting for you to get in. “Im not getting in,” you say folding your arms

“Oh yes you are. Just get in the car.”

“But im in my roblox pyjamas” you groaned again feeling like a child.

“And you still hot babe don’t worry” he said winking at you ushering you into the car “Just get in it’ll be a quick ride anyways.”

You pulled outside of onigiri miya and Osamu begin to drag you out again taken you to the office where the security cameras are. He did something on the community and pulled up a date and time which was the time you were at the store earlier.

Playing on the screen was the recording and the incident which you saw before, but this one was a differnet angle. You saw a girl walking one way and Osamu walking the over with a drink in his hand, him spilling the drink on her and cleaning her off with a paper towel. Which you thought was him groping and touching her.

Your cheeks heated up hard in embarrasment, as you realised how you acted and how you got it all wrong. You saw Osamu with a glint in his eye and smirk on his face and before he could say anything you said “Dont. Let’s get back to the car.”  

All was forgotten on your car ride home and you decided to discuss eachothers days (skipping out the ‘cheating’ part.) However after you watched you shows and finally gotten into bed, when Osamu was holding you right against his chest (so close where you could hear his heartbeat) he said, “Y/N, although we agreed to not talk about this incident...even though I will definitely be telling Empress, I just want to let you know that I will never even think about cheating on you let alone actually doing it, I love you so much that the idea of cheating is so uncomprehendable I don’t even want to think about it.”

“Love you ‘Samu, and I'm sorry for making this into a big old thing when I could’ve just asked you about it.” you say in response

“It’s okay babe,” he said kissing your forehead “It’s okay.”

Atsumu

You and Atsumu have been dating fairly recently meeting in your through your friend Empress who was the manager at Atsumu’s brother Osamu’s shop Onigiri Miya.

You’ve only been together 6 months and you’re ready to tell him that you love him

However you being the perfectionist that you are, wanted it to be perfect so of course you had to practice on friend, Empress’ boyfriend Hajime.

“Okay so go.”

“Atsumu, I think you’re a stand-up guy and you’re pretty cute can I love ya.” you said punching Iwa on the arm.

“Y/N, you can’t say that.” Empress said face palming.

“Okay, Atsumu I’ve fallen for you and I can’t get up?”

“No dad jokes Y/N.” Hajime said shaking his head

“Why theyre soo funny, what about Atsumu you’re a pain in my ass.” you said winking at Empress.

“Gosh Y/N! Take this seriously for once.” Hajime said blushing at your obvious innuendo.

“Well how did you two confess you undying love to eachother?” you asked and smiled at both their reactions, knowing that they definitely haven’t done that.

“Just say your confession Y/N,” Empress said rolling her eyes

“Okay Atsumu,” you said taking a deep breath “Ever since I met you after your brother spilt a drink on me at his shop and you tried to cheer me up with your terrible jokes I knew that you were the one for me. I love your passion, your drive your determination to make me feel better all the time even when I don’t need you too. I love being with you and I...”

Hajime looked at you expectedly, “I love you,” you said smiling “There I said it I love you!”

“Oh my gosh Y/N! That was so cute you should definitely sa-”

“What the fuck Y/N!” exclaimed a voice next to you “You love this clown.”

“Who are you calling a clown,” said Iwa squaring up to Atsumu making both you and Empress roll your eyes at the heeping testoterone filling the area.  

“Haji let’s go,” said Empress dragging her boyfriend away “and Y/N I'm pretty sure you two need to talk.”

When Hajime and Empress were an ear shot away, Atsumu looked at you with a glare. “So Y/N, is this what you’re doing now slu-”

“Don’t even go there ‘tsumu, you’re such an ass sometimes.” You say walking away “And by the way I was practicing with Iwa to say I fucking love you, you asshole.”

You already stormed off before Atsumu yelled, “Wait! You love me?”

“Of course I do you ass.” you say scowling.

Atsumu jogs over to you and says, “I love you too Y/N” he picks you up and tosses you about in the air, practically doing sommersaults, “Im so happy! Wait till I tell Osamu bout this he’s probably hasn’t told his girlfriend about this.”

“Babe, they’ve been dating for years” You said with a laugh “But go ahead ��tsumu tell the world.”

“I’m sorry for misunderstanding things.”

“And...?”

“And I'm sorry for calling Iwa a clown, knowing he would definitely beat my ass.”

“And..?”

“And I'm sorry for being an ass.” he said with his head down.

“You are an ass Atsumu,” you said with a smile “But you’re my favourite pain in the ass.” You said winking at him making him burst out with laughter at your stupid innuedo.

Whenever Atsumu sees Osamu he tells him about how much you both love eachother, which always leads them into an argument about who has the better girlfriend and who loves their girlfriend more which always has you laughing.

AN: do you guys see the connection between the two?? Cause if you see the connection I’LL LOVE YOU FOREVER :3 Hope you guys enjoyed it, what do you guys think?

[bubblyhoney]

sarah i have thought of another fic request or like a cute idea i guess! i didn’t have anyone in mind when i thought of it so you can write it for whoever you want honestly :)

okay so the reader is a streamer but streams games like animal crossing, standew valley, etc. then (insert who you’re writing for) says they don’t like that game, but later ends up buying it and the reader is like “i thought you said you didn’t like this game” and they’re like “well i like you” and they confuses their feelings and they end up playing the game together and reader gives them a tour of their island or farm

i feel like this request isn’t good, but the scenario seemed cute and i wanted to share it. sorry if this is confusing or just too specific cuz i know it can be hard to write requests like that! but yeah i hope it gives you inspiration and you like the request <3

new horizons

warnings: language, a Marvel reference (hint: natasha said it about tony), stupid idiots who don’t realize they like each other, use of pet names, Uno rage, Hasan Piker's presence

words: 1473

tags: sapnap x gn!reader

A/N: i’ve been trying to catch up a little on my requests (i’ve only got a couple so i’m not super overwhelmed) but school and outside life has been taking up most of my time so this one took me a while to make! tbh— ive never played animal crossing so i did google some of the game mechanics and i apologize if anything is inaccurate about the game…. but i liked relaxing and writing this cute one so thank you for requesting hails :3

requests/inbox status: open

-

“This game is trash.”

Your head quirks, fingers stopped on the screen. You’re in the process of giving your character a cute new nickname; it’s kind of hard to decide between “awkward dude” and “elderly skater”.

“Excuse me?” Your chat comes alive with emotes and ‘KEKW’s, obviously entertained by you and your almost-more-than-friends-friend.

There’s a story for that later.

Sapnap’s rough laugh comes through your headset and he audibly swallows, the sound of a water bottle dropping onto his desk echoing.

“I’m just saying—it’s boring. It’s like Minecraft but you don’t like… do anything.” The grainy image of his bearded face shifts and you see him pull out his phone.

“It’s— you can’t even compare it to Minecraft! It’s a completely different game system—you actually interact with other people live in the game.” You huff out a dramatic sigh, slumping in your chair with a pout. “Just because you go into this lucid state where all you know is ‘touch block, hit George’ doesn’t mean this game isn’t fun.” (He scoffs at your awful impression of his voice. Your viewers love it.)

“Jeez,” he mumbles, fumbling with the cap of his water bottle. “Touched a nerve there, bud.”

You roll your eyes, getting back to the village in the game.

“Don't ‘bud’ me.”

The call falls comfortably quiet, the sounds of him tapping obsessively on his phone and you clicking away filling the silence. A gentle bedroom-pop YouTube playlist remains in the background, prompting you to hum along and glance at the chat to see a flood of “check twitter” and “Y/N TWITTER!!”.

“What happened on Twitter?” You mumble, confused, and pull the website up on another monitor. Sapnap just makes a curious noise, swinging back and forth in a circle. “Oh my God,” you say to yourself, fingertips brushing your parted lips.

“What?”

“Hasan Piker just followed me and retweeted one of my not even remotely political old tweets. Like from a year ago.”

“That’s— wow. Congrats?” Sapnap’s voice cracks, and his ears flush pink the tiniest bit when you glance at his face on Discord.

“I’m gonna go on record and say that he could get it.” You shake your head in disbelief.

Sapnap falls uncharacteristically non-hyper-verbal, so you look past the frenzied chat and to his screen— wait. He muted and turned his camera off.

“Um,” you start, furiously typing question marks in your private chat. “Where’d you go?” You mute and turn screen share off for your stream, concerned that he might’ve fallen off his chair and broken his neck and needs you to call the ambulance.

The characteristic ding of a twitter notification sounds through your bedroom, and you look at your phone quickly.

“That’s where I went.”

Sapnap Tweeted: “all Y/U stans can choke on my dick”.

“Jesus, Sapnap,” you say, and rapidly refresh to read the replies. This tweet was deleted. “That’s so— that barely makes sense, bro. Why— literally what?”

His snicker floods your ears and you relax in your chair. Crisis: averted. “Don’t fucking— what’s wrong with you?”

“I thought it would be funny,” he offers, shrugging, and fiddles with the straw in his water bottle, smile fading. “And also Hasan pisses me off.”

“Why, ‘cause he wants a piece of this? Jealous?” You think back to your viewers, knowing they’re probably spamming question marks and coming to ludacris conclusions about both of your absences. No offense to them. You remember your stan days very vividly.

“I mean, kinda.” He rubs once at his nose, glancing at the camera (and what feels like you) before taking a sip from his water bottle.

“Wow.” You watch one strand of his hair fall from beneath his hat and brush against his full eyebrows. “I’m uh—I’ll get back to my stream. You coming? Or is it time for a Sapnap-snack?”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” He snorts and leans his chin onto the balance of his arm.

“That means you like to take a little snack break mid-stream and come back approximately nine hours later and you didn’t even eat.”

“You know what— fuck you.” He flicks the camera as you laugh at the look on his face.

The teasing mood is easily kept as you switch games from Animal Crossing to Uno, all the while slamming Sapnap with +4’s and skipping the newly-arrived BadBoyHalo at any chance you can get. It unironically pisses him off and he has to take a Sapnap-snack break midway through (only a fifteen minute break this time, during which you and Bad take a “What Kind of Bread Are You?” quiz). The rest of the night is filled with devious cackles (you), loud and sudden bangs that sound suspiciously like someone hitting their desk in anger (Sap) and the stupid barking of Rat, AKA Lucy (Bad). She’s cute but a menace to the sound quality of Bad’s microphone. You sign off stream around 2 a.m. with various forms of thanks and kisses blown to the camera. It’s been a refreshing night, actually; you’ve been busy organizing a partnership stream all week and all your friends have been busy filming or editing or what-not. Quackity had time for a little Roblox every couple of days, though. He’s got your back.

The next time you see Sapnap is after a two hour stream of him try-harding in Valorant and you finishing responding to an email from your partnership in the VC.

“Okay, I’m back.” You hear him shift in his chair and click a couple more times on his keyboard. You perk up in your chair, closing the email browser you’d been looking at.

“Do you want to play anything else? I’m down for anything.”

“Absolutely not Uno. You can go to hell for giving me 6 cards that one time,” he jabs. You scoff, crossing your arms and leaning back in your chair.

“Okay, the +4 was on me but it’s Bad who gave you the last two. That’s not my fault, sweetie.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he mumbles, trailing off as the clicking of his keyboard stops. “Hey, um—Guess what?”

Your heart beats loud in your ears at the tone of his voice. He sounds nervous; that’s never good.

“I’m scared to guess,” you try, playing with a little Minecraft dog figurine you have on your desk with fidgety fingers. “What?”

“I bought Animal Crossing.”

Silence. You stare at his discord icon blankly, trying to reroute the wires of your brain.

“Tell me you love it.”

“Well… I haven’t actually played it— but you said you liked it, so.”

“So,” you repeat him, ears warming but continuing on. “Is that what you tell all your friends when you buy something they like? That it's because of them?”

He seems to choose his next words carefully, pausing a beat to consider your questions.

“Well, I don’t have a crush on all of my friends.”

“You—what?” You stutter, caught off guard and stumbling. What did he just say? “Don’t tell me you mean you have a crush on me.”

“I’m almost positive I just did.” His discord icon stares right back at you, taunting.

“You know, you’re very casual for someone who just admitted they like-like me.” Your cheeks flush pink and you have to press a hand to your chest to keep your breathing sounding stable.

“Yeah, I’m kind of cool like that,” he offers, a huff of a laugh punctuating his statement. The conversation moves into a lull that you can’t help but know is because of you. He must expect you to say something about it, right?

“You are very cool, Sapnap.” You tilt back in your chair, sucking in a breath to prepare yourself for your next words. “And—Isortakindofhaveacrushonyoutoo.”

He must understand you, for you can hear the grin in his voice when he asks “Really?”

“Y-yeah.” You feel like a preteen again, all shaky and giddy in front of the boy you just asked to a middle school dance.

“Um, alright. What do we do now?”

“I don’t know,” you answer genuinely and swing in a happy little circle in your chair. “We could play Animal Crossing.”

“I’m down.”

You swear you’ve never heard more beautiful words.

He keeps his camera off for most of the time you two play, too focused on creating his island and asking you questions about how to fish to turn it on. He silently flips it on when you help him decorate his lawn, needing to show you in real-time the decorations he has bought and where you think he should put them. He looks cute. I mean, of course he does. He always does.

You tell him goodbye late in the night, eyes saying a little more than just “see you tomorrow”.

You like him. He likes you.

It’s even better when you two have matching gardens.

-

A/N: anybody and everybody (especially my precious hailey) let me know what you think!! :]

[technowoah]

if you're taking asks for the prompts, can you do 11 and 17 from the angst list with george but have a fluffy ending? she/her pronouns pls

I Can Make It Right

SHSJS I HAVE SO MUCH ANGST IN MY INBOX YALL!

Thanks for the request babe! The way it came out was gender neutral i dont think I user she/her, but it still works trust me!

George x reader imagine (established)

11) "It's not important apparently"

17) "You already made me feel like shit so might as well finish me off"

⚠︎ angst with happy ending, unresolved issue but they're gonna fix it dont worry 😌, angry George, swearing

*** = flashback

Masterlist

You had stood infront of your bathroom mirror finishing up your makeup for the night. Your hair was already done and you had a nice outfit on, not to fancy and not too comfortable. While listening to a playlist George had made for you, you had put down the brushes you were using. It didnt really matter if you cleaned up your makeup that was littered all over the sink right now, but right now you were feeling good.

Today was your and George's 3rd year anniversary and you couldn't be happier about it. Today you two were going to dinner and doing something else which was supposed to be a surprise for you. It was a night on the town.

George and you met 4 years ago actually. You two started out as acquaintances, the slowly grew into friends and then one day he asked you to join him to dinner. At first you were oblivious to his actions, thinking he was just being a good friend, but turns out the more dates you two went on the more you caught on. He officially asked you to be his girlfriend 3 years ago today.

His friends keep on pressuring George to propose already, they think it's been long enough. The only thing close to marriage is a promise ring. He put the ring on your finger as a promise that one day he would marry you, everytime you doubt that he will propose you turn your attention to the cute ring on your finger.

You had turned off the bedroom lights and sat on your bed finally relaxing after struggling to find a decent enough outfit for tonight. George said that he was going to pick you up around 6:00 and now it is 5:47 so you had some time to spare.

You had found yourself scrolling through tiktok because you had nothing else better to do at this moment. It was a guilty pleasure of yours even though you and george both joked around about hating tiktok.

Time began to tick away so you had checked the clock on your phone which said 5:57 pm. You had grabbed shoes that you set up against your bed, slipped them on and grabbed all of your belongings for the night. You stationed yourself in the living room waiting till George came to the door.

Nervousness always came up before a date, it was the anticipation actually. You were excited and nervous about the date as you always were, but today for you was special. It was three years worth of beautiful love. You remembered the time he first said I love you too, it was just like it was yesterday.

***

"Hey y/n." George looked towards you. You both were sitting on a plaid, plush blanket with a brown woven basket ontop in between you two. It was just like the movies and that why you cringed because of how cheesy it was when George led you to it.

It was sweet, it was extremely sweet and you loved these dates that George always brung you too. You always felt special when you are sitting next to him.

You responded to George. "Yeah Gogy?" You laughed at the use of his nickname.

"Im trying to be serious right now and you call me Gogy." George smiled and shook his head. "Anyways, you know I love you, right?"

"Of course I do-"

"No I love you. I mean. I'm in love with you." George reached to rest his hand ontop of yours and repeated himself. "I'm in live with you y/n."

You wasted no time answering. "Im in love with you too."

***

6:03

George didnt show up yet, but there was no sweat. He was only 3 minutes late, maybe he ran into traffick. Your stomach was rumbling, but you didnt want to eat yet since you two we're planning to go to dinner. Patience is key, and it wasnt like he wasn't late before.

6:10

You started to get worried, it's been 10 minutes and still no sign of your boyfriend. You had gotton up several times to check outside of your door only to be met with no one. Your mind was jumping to conclusions about if he forgot your anniversary, but you shut those thoughts out for the time being.

6:19

Okay this is getting out of hand. You brung out our phone and began to text George, you couldn't believe that you had waited this long before texting the man.

Where are you? Ive been waiting for 29 minutes?!

[Sent: 6:20pm]

George what are you doing?

[Sent: 6:20pm]

You awaited his text message with your phone faced up on the coffee table infront of you. You didn't want to believe that George woukd forget, or overslept, but that was becoming truth the more minutes passed by with no call or text.

6:30

Calling him was useless, because he didn't answer. He didn't hang up on you he just wasn't picking up the phone, like he turned it off. You started to get worried if something happened to him, if he was in a situation where he couldn't call or text you. You wondered if he was safe at home and not out in the middle of the street.

In a flash all your worries subsided when your phone lit up with a notification.

ThisIsNotGeorgeNotFound is live:

Im Playing golf with my friends

That son of a bitch. Pissed off was an understatement, you were fuming. How could he end up streaming at home when you had constantly reminded him about this day, he knew damn well about this day too. How could he?

You ended up grabbing a jacket and your purse and ended up driving to George's place. It seemed like he was mocking you in a way, he knew you had notifications on for Twitch. You loved to support him and his career, but this was making a fool out of yourself.

Your hand tightly gripped the steering wheel as you tried not to run every red light you cane across. You finally came across George's home, you found a place to park and quickly got out of your car and sped walked your way to George's residence. Finally making up to George's door you knocked harshly on the door probably making more noise than what you intended too. You continuously banged on his door until you got fed up.

Remembering that George had given you a key to his house you dig through your purse to get your set of keys out anr unlock his door. You stomped inside his house and closed the door behind you.

"GEORGE! GEORGE!" You yelled through the house. You were being reckless and annoying, but you didnt care at this point you were fuming and needed to tell George how you feel.

You had made your way to George's recording room where he was talking to his friends on discord. George looked towards you in shock clearly not hearing the sounds you were making throughout his house.

"Y/N?!" George yelled and muted his microphone.

"What the hell are you doing?" You exclaimed back.

"Im streaming thats what Im doing!" George sassed back at you, not paying attention to his screen and the chat.

"Dont get smart with me. End the stream."

"What?! No!"

"You heard me, we need to talk." You crossed your arms across your chest. Your heart was beating too fast for your liking and you tried to calm yourself down, but George's comments were getting to you.

George was about to unmute himself and get back to the game. "No we dont-"

"GEORGE END THE FUCKING STREAM! This is embarrassing! Talk to me cause you have some explaining to do." You snapped at him.

A silence tell upon you two and he glared at you before turning to his stream and closing it out.

"Okay guys! Go watch the other boys streams I need to go now! Bye!" George quickly ended and turned off everything.

He turned around to you still sitting in his chair. "What? What do you want?"

"Do you know what today is?" You asked.

"April 30th." George answered bluntly.

"Thats all you have to say?" You asked in shock. "It's our anniversary dickhead!"

"I fucking know that." George said.

"You do? So why did you start streaming and we had dinner plans?!"

"I told you we were streaming! You weren't listening to me!" George stood up from his chair when he said that.

"When the fuck did you tell me this?!"

"A couple days ago! You didn't listen!"

"But you knew that was our anniversary! And we made dinnerr plans-"

George yelled over you. "A month ago! We made those plans a month ago so excuse me for forgetting!"

"So all these other years you remembered our anniversary and went out of your fucking way to cancel other plans around that date, but today you didnt because why?!" Tears were threatening to fall down you cheeks, but you wouldnt let him see you like that.

"Because I planned this already with the boys! And AGAIN you werent listening to me when I said that-"

"There were several other times that you could've told me too! But you didn't!" You sniffed trying to keep the frustrated tears inside.

"I already planned this and I cant go back on my promise-"

"But you can with me?!" You yelled and George stopped talking. He's just studying your face at this point and you hated this silence.

"Its not important apparently." You said while walking out of the recording room.

"You're being a bitch." He mumbled.

"Excuse me?! That is so disrespectful!" You spun around yelled at him.

"You already made me feel like shit so might as well finish me off." George said in a annoying tone.

"Yeah you should feel like shit! I feel like shit too so-!" You threw your hands up in exasperation and stormed out the room. You had made it to the door before George called out to you again.

"Y/n! Y/n! Please!"

"No! Just..." You paused before opening the door and ushering your way out. "Call me when you get your shit together.

You were currently curled up on your couch eating leftovers that you had in the refrigerator. That had satisfied your hunger for the night because the dinner was canceled that night. Your anger and sadness had subsided and you were only left with an unusual feeling in your heart. Your relationship felt incomplete, this fight felt incomplete. You didnt break up with him, but you were waiting for closure.

The TV was the only light in the room. It illuminated what it wanted to, you didnt care if it was too dark. Usually you would be cuddled up with George at this ungoldy hour, but you weren't and that made you tear up.

Your sadness was still there, your anger towards George turned into pity. You were sad about the actions he took, but somewhere in your heart you could forgive him. You could forgive and move on if he would come to you.

Speaking of, you had a knock on your door. You didn't have the strength to get up, but you did. Shuffling your way to the door you sluggishly opened it to find George standing there with his hands in his hoodie. The person you wanted to see, but at the same time you wanted to slam that door in his face.

"Hey." George spoke and you gave him a small smile, nothing more.

You turned around to find your seat back on the couch where you were comfortable, but also giving him a silent invitation to come inside. You had sat down on the couch not paying attention to George, but you knew he closed the door, took off his shoes by yours, and put his keys on the table by the door like he always did. It was like a routine to him.

George ended up awkwardly standing beside the couch as you ignored him.

"You know, if you didnt open the door I would've used my keys like you did." George tried to spark up a conversation, but you only hummed in response. You were scared that if you spoke, you would cry.

George ended up making his way to the couch sitting beside you and pulling you into his embrace. Your head was on his chest and you began to sob. You missed this it's only been a few hours, but you had felt that in those few hours you had lost everything. You continued to sob into his hoodie as he rubbed your back and shushed you, whispering sweet nothings into the air only for you to hear.

"Im here, and Im sorry. Im so fucking sorry that I did this to you and I only hope that you can forgive me." George said, his voice cracking a little when he said that. You kept crying.

That's what you wanted to hear all along, that's what you needed. You could forgive him in due time, you always will because you love him, you will always love him. You both can always make it right.

[hualian-blessing]

why mcyttwt does not think some (if not most) of the time when it comes to mcc

if i post this in twitter, i’d surely get hated upon but someones gotta have to say this one day. also this does not target to mcytblr!!! this rant is more of towards mcyttwt!!!

remember how mcyt was so chill before all of this shit? how we would watch our favorite minecraters when the community was so small? or how mcc was an event that both ccs and fans can have some fun and entertainment once per month? and that was only last year too. now look at the new generation of mcyt fans and see why some of the old fans dont really associate the new ones.

as a fan of the old gen mcytbers like DanTDM, SkyDoesMinecraft, Aphmau and CaptainSparklez. heck im a fan of pewds’ minecraft series before dream or tommy or ranboo or the new gen of mcyt ccs blew up (a year before them if im correct), and we dont see drama or bad shit all the time when it comes to their content.

now compare that to the new gen where every single fucking day, a bored fan or anti would post shit drama in twitter where some of the people from twitter moved to tumblr just to not get a headache from the batshit craziness mcyttwt brought forth. and it just snapped more when the mccp21 rolled in.

heres some of my takes about the mccp21 issue:

1) “there’s a lack of representation of lgbtq+ in the teams!!!”

heres something to tell yall about that. scott doesnt have a fucking choice. scott smajor has told time and time again, WEEKS before the announcement of teams, that there are certain requirements and limitations to mccp21 thus there will be difficulty in choosing whos entering or whos not. limitations and requirements such as it will be streamed on youtube or how streamers with twitch contracts aren’t allowed to stream or (god bless scott’s good heart) scott not allowing some of the lgbtq+ streamers in joining the special event due to wanting them to have a chance to stream and experience their first mcc (so to those who said that ranboo should have been in mccp21, shut up ‘cuz scott wanted genderman to have fun streaming his first mcc but cant due to ranboo being a well-known twitch streamer). to those who complained that ant and velvet should be in the mcc, stop being selfish and do some actual research on why scott didn’t include them. a simple question to those two’s fans would answer that they can’t make it due to them camping for a week which within those days is the mccp21. they’re having time to themselves, not wasting it on a minecraft championship. 

take in the consideration that, oh i dont know, not a lot of lgbtq+ ccs applied to the event? its not a free invite championship (in fact, mcc has always been like that), it’s an applied with the sufficient and correct requirements kind of event. the artist who created the icons from the previous mcc for the teams said that scott let in some of the new ccs in last minutes due to lack of applicants not meeting the requirements thus not having custom artworks for the teams if they want to announce the teams in time.

2.) “there’s no lesbians or trans in the teams >:(((”

sadly enough, there’s not much of the players from the lgbtq+ community but to say there’s no trans people in mccp21 is utterly false. by definition, trans mean  denoting or relating to a person whose sense of personal identity and gender does not correspond with their birth sex. other genders such as non-binary, genderfluid, androgyne, bigender, gender expansive all fall under trans. you define yourself with the gender you personally chose and comfy with from you birth gender. so saying there’s no trans in the teams when there are players from the event like eret or sqaishey who are nb and genderfluid respectively are there to also represent not only the sexuality but also the gender identity of others??? like c’mon, please make sense mcyttwt. 

also, while its sad to not see lesbians, please know that lgbtq+ doesn’t strictly be defined by lesbians. ffs, lgbtq+ literally means Lesbians Gays Bisexuals Transgenders and Questioning (or Queer but im not too sure about that one) which means that there are still other representatives for the community in the event.

3) “technoblade is in the event?!!! WHAT THE FUCK, HES A HOMOPHOBE/LESBIPHOBE-”

utter clowns, toxic twitter users are. do you really think that scott smajor, an openly gay man, would let a supposed “homophobe/lesbiphobe” in an event that focuses in supporting the lgbtq+ community? do you hear yourself? do you even do research where the joke he made was when he was the same age as me and it was based on a historical article back in WW2? or how he passionately supports the community especially the lesbians because a lesbian couple complimented him to which kickstart his confidence? the man willingly went to this mcc event despite being flamed a lot in twitter because he (and everyone) knows that his chat, his fans and supporters, are literal millionaires. if you saw a stream from foolish where he auctioned canonical characters for funs, a techno fan donated thousand of dollars to get technoblade, and that’s only one fan, now imagine a hundreds of thousands of them.

like it or not, technoblade has always been open about his support to the community, especially that majority of his fanbase are from the same community that mcyttwt allegedly swore that technoblade hates.

4) “since this mccp21 is pointless because theres no dteam, quackity, punz or (insert cc name), let’s have a watch party of the previous mccs to spite mccp21!!!” “let’s hope (insert cc name) stream on the 26th so mccp21 doesnt have the same amount of viewership like before!!!” “where are (insert cc name)??? gosh, this mcc is so boring without them!!!”

shut up shut up shut up shut up shut the actual fuck up. are you really seriously hearing yourself? are you willing and proudly boycotting a once in a year special event that is seriously needed by the lgbtq+ community? are you that cruel and selfish to sacrifice a project that helped tons of people just for your sick entertainment and desires? are you that evil to stop others from enjoying and donating to the trevor project? are you that inconsiderate of other ccs that aren’t part of dsmp and calling them boring? and for what? because your favorite cishet streamer isn’t there? oh booofuckinghoo! you’re so fucking petty to even post about this kind of tweets in public.

(edit: did yall honestly thought that without your favorite streamers that the mcc is not worth watching because they aren't there? well let me tell you, im a ranboo fan. ive watched him when he first entered the dsmp and watched him spinning in his unicorn chair for 5 minutes. the boo community waited for so many months for genderman to join mcc yet we didn't even do that kind of disgusting action and behavior every time he isn't in mcc. 8 months. that's how long ive watched him. ive waited 8 months for him to be in the event yet i still watch other povs like tommy's, puffy's, wilbur's, and etc., because it's fun and entertaining to watch them despite the beloved not participating in the games.

if you're that spoiled to not even watch mcc because (insert cc whose not part of mccp21 name here) isn't part of the roster then you most likely have a one dimensional humor because there will always be someone more funny and entertaining than them. i like dsmp don't get me wrong, but i found parrot's school smp funnier than dsmp yet you don't see me insulting both series, do you? learn to keep yourself if you're calling ccs as boring or dull or not entertaining enough due to not having the same big platform as the dsmp members.)

you don’t deserve to call yourself a fan if you’re doing this kinds of actions. in fact, people like you should be kicked out from the mcyt community because your kind of people are the reason why we look so bad from the outside. your toxic and self-entitled to these content creators are the reason why famous ccs like sbi, purpled, tubbo and almost ranboo left twitter/implied strict rules to their subtwts. you drove out an entire friend group that tons of fans found comfort in from the platform and you still have the audacity to this kind of shit? honestly, just leave before you give me a headache.

what im sayin’ is that mcyttwt is one of the worst, if not THE worst, subtwts out of the other subtwts in twitter. having no actual research or evidences or spreading false information is common in twitter where you would have to take what they said with a micro size grain of salt. mcyttwt already ruined the fun and spirit of mcc during its comeback in mcc14 due to the glitch and beta testing shit (ey i still stand for the ranboo beta testing but i know that will be worthless since theres hints of him joining soon in mcc15). if you’re still in mcyttwt, i suggest to get out of there while you still can. we’ll never know if there’s a bigger shitstorm than this in the mcyttwt that may happen in the future.

edit! hi bella again, ive been told by a polite and cool user that not all people from mcyttwt are toxic and/or cruel. im going to clear something up here. ive written this during the heat of the announcement of mccp21 teams. so there's a lot of complains and/or entitled people in the app (you can even see it in my previous post too if you want evidences!) that gave off mostly negative vibes towards the event.

ive seen the cool ones who actually took the consideration for scott's side and the criticism of the lack of representation of other communities within the lgbtq+ umbrella (ive even share some parts of it above so im also a bit upset to the lack of numbers in the community). and some of them are correct about recruiting lgbtq+ creators in youtube but! like i said, it's an applied event and not invitational one, so its up to that content creator if they want to join or not. the amount of cishet in the roster are just those who want to support the cause and/or backups/stand-ins in case scott and noxcrew can't find enough ccs in time!

just wanna clear this up because mcyttwt these days are covered by really cringe fans (ive noticed a pattern of them mostly new ones but there are still awesome new fans (like my irl friend who just joined this year) within the community) that covered the good ones where they enjoy, have fun and share some neat ideas and thoughts to the community within the platform!

when i said to get out of the mcyttwt while you still can, i meant to get out of there to avoid drama (that is really small contrast those who really need to address the issue) and take a break from it. it's still your choice if you want to be surround by it or not or if you want to come back to the app. all im saying is to buckle up for the shitstorm cuz this is not the last time that the twitter side of mcyt will cause negativity to the community.

[daringyounggrayson]

misplaced guilt

(Read below or on AO3)

It’s been a while since Bruce has been to one of these galas, and for once, he is neither hosting nor making a speech. It’s a nice change, to say the least.

Dick is sitting next to him, kicking his legs under the table. Bruce would tell him to stop, but at least he’s actually using the chair as intended with both feet closer to the floor than the chair, so Bruce lets it go for the moment. If it gets too out of control, he can always reach out and stop him, but for now, he’ll let the kid release some pent-up energy.

Bruce keeps half of his attention on Dick and the other half on his conversation with Jasmine Owen, a woman who works at one of Gotham’s youth centers. Bruce knew from the second she introduced herself that she came over in hopes of getting a donation, but he doesn’t mind; that’s one of the main purposes of these things, and Bruce is happy to help however he can.

“Babs,” Dick gasps excitedly, shooting upright when he catches Barbara walk into the room, Commissioner Gordon by her side. Bruce looks over at Dick, quirking an eyebrow. Dick smiles back, asks in his I’m-in-public-so-I’m-behaving-like-an-angel voice, “May I please be excused?”

“Hnn,” Bruce says, pretending to think over his answer.

“Bruce,” Dick whines.

Bruce smiles. “Alright. But stay in the ballroom. Dinner is going to be served soon.”

“Okay, thanks!” he slides out of his chair and offers a wave. “Nice meeting you, Ms. Owen.”

“And you, Richard,” she smiles back. When he’s gone, she turns to Bruce again and says, “He’s a sweet kid.”

Bruce can’t help but think at least in public, and at least to people who aren’t me. He’s half-joking, but there’s some truth to the statement: Dick has always seemed to behave better for Alfred, and he’s nothing if not an angel around strangers, even when he’s mad at Bruce.

At home, it’s not that Dick isn’t a good kid—he is—but he’s still a kid. Dick can be sassy, and he has a taste for anything that will make Bruce’s hair turn gray (usually dangerous, usually far away from the ground). He also has no qualms about making fun of Bruce when Dick feels it’s called for. Then there are the arguments, the borderline tantrums. Both have been decreasing in frequency, and Bruce attributes most of them to processing and coming to terms with his parents’ murder, but they are—difficult, to say the least. Dick will have these rough days—sometimes rough weeks—where he’ll lash out at Bruce over the smallest things. Sometimes it seems like he yells at Bruce just to put his hurt somewhere.

Bruce tries to take all of it—from the jokes at his expense that even he has to admit are funny, to the meltdowns—as a good sign, one that says Dick feels secure and knows that Bruce will love him regardless of his behavior or attitude. But there are certainly days when Bruce thinks it would be nice if Dick would listen to him like he listens to Alfred—like when Bruce tells him to get off of the unstable shed roof, for example.  

Despite the challenges that come with raising a child, there are also so many blessings. There’s no other word to describe it. Seeing Dick learn and grow and thrive is something Bruce will never get tired of. On top of that, Dick is just this brilliant, funny, and kind child. He has the biggest heart Bruce has ever seen, and he cares so deeply and widely. Bruce doesn’t know how he got so lucky. Dick is Bruce’s light, his whole world.

Bruce pulls himself out of his head, says, “He’s the best thing that has ever happened to me.” It’s something he can say with complete honesty. “Do you have kids?”

“Oh god, no. I think I’m still a little young for that,” she laughs. Then, thinking about what she said, her face falls. “Not that you were too young, just for me, I’d rather—”

“No, no, it’s fine.” He puts his hands up and smiles. “I was really young when I took Dick in. I go to parent-teacher conferences, and most of the other parents are at least ten years older than me. But I like to think I’m doing alright, and Dick’s happy, so that’s all that matters.”

“Yes, I suppose.” She smiles, but looks down at the table.

“So, what’s it like day-to-day at the youth center?”

She looks up, coming alive again, and the conversation picks back up.

oOo

After dinner, Dick and Barbara disappear again, and Bruce is left alone to mingle. Most people come to him, but he only has to escape a few times, so it’s going about as good as these things can go.

That is until a very urgent Barbara runs into him and tugs on his arm. “Sorry everyone, but I need to borrow Brucie for a second.”

Bruce ducks down to look Barbara in the eye. “What is it?”

“Dick. Just come with me.”

He follows her without another word to the group of people he was talking to. She leads him into the hall and toward the lobby. When they turn the corner, Dick is on the ground in a lateral recumbent position. Gordon is talking to him gently, though Dick seems unresponsive.

“Dick.” Bruce lurches forward, falling to his knees and reaching out to find Dick’s pulse and check his breathing. “What happened?”

“Barbara thinks he had a seizure,” Gordon answers. “An ambulance will be here soon.”

Dick’s breath hitches and he lets out a low moan that feels like a twisting dagger in Bruce’s chest. His eyes find Bruce’s, and he unwraps one hand from his stomach to reach for Bruce’s. Bruce takes it, squeezing it gently in a reassuring manner.

“I’m right here,” Bruce promises, running a hand through Dick’s hair.

“It hurts,” Dick gasps.

“Shh, the paramedics are going to be here soon. We’ll fix it.”

Dick shakes his head and squeezes his eyes shut. “I don’t feel right.”

Bruce tightens his grip slightly, hoping to keep Dick conscious. “What’s wrong? Where does it hurt?”

“Head, stomach,” Dick mumbles. “Feel hot, an’ dizzy.”

Bruce frowns, trying to determine what could be causing Dick’s symptoms. Is this the beginning of an illness, or a seizure disorder? Has Dick been poisoned? There was a run-in with Scarecrow a few nights ago, and Dick had needed to take an untested antidote for the fear toxin. Could this be a delayed reaction to the concoction Bruce had come up with?

Dick’s grip loosens.

“Dick?” Bruce calls urgently. “Dick!”

He gets no response.

oOo

Dick is staring at a white ceiling when he realizes he’s awake. Sunlight is streaming in through a giant window on his right, and there’s a framed painting of giraffes across from him. He’s tired and confused, and his gut tells him that something is wrong, that something bad happened. His first thought is that he wants his mom.

He turns his head to the left, finding Bruce in a chair and holding his hand.

“Hi,” Dick says, slowly pushing himself into a sitting position. Bruce grunts some kind of greeting and raises Dick’s bed while Dick takes in the medical bracelets on his wrist—one ID bracelet and one that indicates that he’s a fall risk—and the IV in the back of his hand. “What happened?”

Bruce shifts in his chair, face serious. “We were at the gala. You were poisoned.”

Dick matches Bruce’s expression, trying to think. He remembers being with Babs, telling her that something was wrong. Then he’d been on the ground, and there’d been sirens.

“The man who poisoned you had planned to offer me the antidote for a price, but he didn’t realize that you would react to the poison so—so severely,” Bruce explains, rubbing his thumb over Dick’s knuckles. “He was working as one of the waiters and heard the commotion. He came forward shortly after the ambulance left and he’s currently in custody.”

Dick swallows. “Why did he . . .” Why did he poison Dick in the first place? Need money so badly? Feel that poisoning Dick was the only option? “Would it have killed me? If he didn’t give us the antidote.”

Bruce, like always, is honest with Dick. “The doctors were able to stabilize you, but they needed to neutralize the poison quickly, and the antidote did that. It’s hard to say what would have happened without it, but things were touch and go for a while.”

Dick nods, not sure what to say as he takes it in. Eventually, he asks, “How long have I been out?”

“A few days. You woke up a few times yesterday, but you were incoherent,” Bruce says.

Dick wracks his brain, trying to pull up some inaccessible memory.

“I’m sorry that this happened, Dick.”

Dick squeezes Bruce’s hand. “Not your fault.”

“Hnn.”

“What? Are you seriously guilty that you didn’t taste all of my food first or something? ‘Cause that’s nuts, B.”

Bruce says, “You are my child. I am allowed to feel guilty when I fail to protect you.”

“You didn’t fail,” Dick interjects. “I’m okay—really.”

Bruce’s face is still pinched and concerned, and he’s looking at Dick like he might fall apart. Dick leans toward him and stretches his arms out, and Bruce quickly pulls him into a tight hug.

“I’m not going anywhere, Bruce,” Dick promises. And even to himself, it doesn’t sound like a reassurance most nine-year-olds should be giving. But it fits with his new life, he supposes. “I’m okay.”

Bruce tucks Dick’s head under his chin, says, “I was . . . I’m glad that you’re alright.”

Dick nods into Bruce’s chest and lets himself be held for another moment. It’s not the hug from his mom that he woke up wanting, but it’s close. It makes him feel safe and reminds him of home, and maybe that’s all Dick needs.

[blxetsi]

I was curious if you’d be up for headcanon of adopting Gabi Braun, or what it’s like being her older sibling?

If not maybe just Pieck relationship headcanons

Please and thank you

im so sorry im getting to this so late 😭🤚 ty for requesting ‼️

‼️CONTENT WARNING: SPOILERS FOR SEASON 4 AND CHAPTER 139‼️

adopting gabi braun headcanons (canonverse)

characters: gf!sasha braus x gn!reader, platonic!gabi braun x gn!reader, fatherly!levi ackerman x gn!reader, platonic!falco grice x gn!reader

warnings: death, angst, hatred for kids (fuck them kids‼️), peepaw levi 😁👍

- uhhhhhh,, your relationship w gabi had a very rocky start. Lol !

- it all started when your friend eren jaeger decided to run away to infiltrate marley causing the survey corps to go get him just as a war was declared between your countries, and then two kids snuck onto the airship you were using to escape and shot your girlfriend. and she died. Lol !

- you had a lot of hatred for gabi in the beginning, and it was understandable

- you blamed her for shooting sasha, but you also blamed yourself for not being able to save her.

- you were a trained medic, you were supposed to save people, and yet you couldnt even save the woman you loved. it was like a slap in the face, like god was playing some cruel joke on you

- you remember sitting against the wall with sasha's blood staining your hands. you could barely process what happened at the time, and then levi came

- he sat next to you, taking a handkerchief out of nowhere seemingly, and just wordlessly wiped your hands down.

- your relationship with the older man was never defined, even today, but you both cared for each other

- the next time you saw gabi, was in that restaurant, niccolo had attacked gabi and falco, injuring them both, and said she killed sasha

- your blood went cold, you felt so many things, the grief you had pushed down in favour of your job, anger, fear, among other things

- niccolo had said there needed to be justice, he said that gabi should die for what she did, he tried to get sasha's father to kill her, and all you did was stand there.

- your body went on autopilot, barely listening to mr. braus' speech, you watched as kaya pointed a knife at gabi, and you listened to her wails of agony as you blindly led mikasa, armin, and gabi to a different room

- you were scared of yourself, for what you were thinking. did you really want a kid to die ? she did kill your girlfriend, the woman you wanted to spend the rest of your life with, the woman that shared her food with you, the woman that held you when you got scared at night, the woman that promised you that after the war you two would live on a farm together, and have a family of your own.

- but she was still a child. she didnt know any better. you were conflicted in your feelings, especially after hearing what niccolo had said, but it all just emphasized what was already known to you. she was a child

- your blood was pounding in your ears, and you could faintly hear gabi asking your comrades if they wanted to kill her. when armin reassured her they didnt, she looked to you and asked "what about them ?"

- you didnt answer her, and continued to lead them down where eren would be meeting you all. you were supposed to drop them off, but eren made you stay, and then a fight broke out

- you dont remember when you did it, but you held gabi in your arms, shielding her from the fight. you think you needed to be held more than she did

- things got more complicated after that, and slowly the hatred you had for sasha's killer went away, until all you had left was a hole in your chest from guilt and sadness.

- at fort salta, you thought you were going to die there, next to your friends. you thought you'd become a mindless titan, like connie's family

- but you didnt, well you did, but only for a short time, and when you turned back, you reunited with your friends

- looking around for gabi, you saw her tackle falco into a hug, which made you smile

- "y/n !" jean called, you remember looking behind you in confusion, he sounded distressed, but you understood why when you saw sasha saluting the three of you

- you felt your legs move on your own, and you ran closer to her, before stopping about a meter away. she was dead, you knew she was dead, but she was there, wearing that goofy smile on her face and looking at you as if you'd hung the stars in the sky

- she looked at you. "you did good." hearing her voice felt like a dream. your mouth felt dry, and your jaw opened and closed like a fish before you felt tears sting your eyes. "i love you."

- she nodded, before looking at the sky. "i know." she replied. sasha looked back at you before giving you a soft smile. "you know what to do now." before she disappeared in the debris

- you knew what to do, so you did it

- you found levi sitting against a rock, and when you leaned down next to him he muttered something. "i saw erwin again. and hange. all of them." you nodded. "i saw sasha." he looked at you, and gave you the closest thing to a smile. "i guess we're both at peace now."

*****

- three years later, you've become a school teacher in paradis, teaching young children how to read, to write, and basic math. you teach them about art and music, and nature. its nice being surrounded by children all day, kids are lovely.

- you live with gabi, falco and levi, in a small house inside wall sina. levi's legs have gotten weaker with time, causing him to use a wheelchair and crutches. he's given up on his dream of a tea shop, but is content with the life he has now.

- gabi and falco have gotten more rowdy with age, but they've both matured quite a bit. they make you proud

- you send letters to sasha's family. kaya is growing up, and has taken over archery just like her sister. niccolo is living with them now.

- you'll never be able to let go of sasha, or what happened to her, but the pain in your chest has dulled immensely. you think about her sometimes, when youre in bed alone, wanting to feel the warmth of her body in your arms, you know you should move on, you get teased about not having a new girlfriend, even levi has made comments about there being "plenty of fish in the sea"

it was a late night, on a friday. you were grading spelling tests at the dining room table, one lone candle being your source of light. your pen moves swiftly across the different pieces of paper, adding check marks or x marks when needed, adding a note at the bottom of each test, before adding a smiley face on all of your students' hard work. it was tedious, but it needed to be done, and you had to remember to bring them in on monday, you couldn't forget like last time.

you heard footsteps coming down the stairs. they were soft, and slow, and at first you thought it was levi but realized it couldn't be since you couldn't hear the soft tapping of his crutches on the stairs. they came down to the bottom and stood there, it was gabi, dressed in a light pink nightgown that came down to her knees, and her disheveled hair in the braid you did for her before bed.

you pushed your reading glasses to the top of your head. "what are you doing up ? it's late."

she shrugged, and walked over to sit across from you at the table. gabi grabbed the stack of papers that you already graded and shuffled through them, giggling when she found a misspelling.

you rolled her eyes. "don't laugh, they're six."

she shook her head. "i was spelling ten times better than this when i was their age."

"uh huh."

"are you calling my bluff ?"

you chuckled. "maybe. you should be in bed though."

"why ? it's not like we have school tomorrow."

you shrugged. "i was thinking we could go on a picnic outside the walls. it gets stuffy in here."

she nodded. "that would be fun."

the silence came back for a while, until you finished grading and set your papers aside.

"you know, i hear you sometimes." she whispered.

you looked at the brunette in confusion. "how do you mean ?"

"when your in bed, sometimes you cry."

you scoffed, and leaned back in your chair. "yeah well, i try to muffle it."

"i don't think ive ever apologized to you," she started. her eyes welled up with tears and her hands shook on the table. her cheeks and nose became pink as she held herself back from crying. "i know i feel bad, and i regret killing her but, i've never actually apologized to you for-"

"don't." you said. you kept your eyes on your lap, you felt your throat growing tight. "please gabi, don't say anything."

"i need to apologize-"

"you don't. you killed her. she's dead, the war is over. it's done. just let it go." you said, your voice wavering.

"have you let it go ?"

your head shot up to her. "i lost the woman i was going to spend the rest of my life with. she promised me a safe home, a farm, and a family. and she promised we'd grow old together. and that didn't happen. i grew up with her, i've known her since i was twelve, we started dating when i was sixteen. of course i haven't let it go, gabi."

gabi looked shocked by your outburst, but nodded. she understood how you felt, and she felt so guilty. "you don't forgive me do you ? i get it, i really do. i'm sorry."

you shook your head. "gabi no, i do. i do forgive you. i just, i can't forget it." you whimpered, tears started streaming down your face and you choked back a sob. "i loved her with all of my heart, i still do, but i don't hate you-"

gabi rolled her eyes, tears coming out uncontrollably now. "you should. i killed her, i ruined your chance of a happy life ! she was your family and i-"

"gabi no !" you exclaimed, cutting her off. at this point you both looked like a mess, and you were worried you woke up the boys. you grabbed her shaking hands in your own and held them to you. "you are my family. you are. so is falco, and so is levi. i forgive you, and i love you with all of my heart." you said, a sad smile on your face. her eyes widened at your words, before she started sobbing.

you got up from the table to come to her side, and held her in your arms as she cried. her arms wrapped around your shoulders while she dug her head into your neck, tickling you with her hair.

you rubbed her back and cradled her head while shushing her. she sobbed out a muffled "i love you so much y/n." that you chuckled at.

"i love you too so much." you whispered back.

it took a long time for gabi to calm down, but when she did you still held her, rocking her and yourself back and forth slightly. you two moved from the chairs down to the floor, funny enough.

you kissed the top of her head before talking, the only noise in the room being your whispers, her sniffles and the living room clock. "you know reiner's coming home soon. are you excited ?" she nodded against your skin and sniffled again, clearing her throat too.

"i hope he brings me a gift or something." she whispered back, her voice hoarse. it made you laugh, and you had to cover your mouth to keep quiet.

"they're going to shiganshina district for a couple of days, to visit mikasa and eren, and then mikasa will come with them to the capital."

"do you miss her ?" she asked.

"so much. i miss all of them, but mikasa is a close friend of mine, she holds a special place in my heart."

"do you think you and levi will go to the meetings between the marley ambassadors and the jaegerists ?" she asked.

"maybe, if they feel as though they really need us."

you sighed through your nose, which was a bit stuffy from crying. "after we turned back into humans, i saw sasha again."

gabi lifted her head up from where it was resting on your shoulder. "what ?"

"yeah, i saw her ghost i think." you looked down on her with a smile on your face. "she told me i knew what i needed to do, and then i went and got levi and you and falco." you paused for a moment, thinking about how you would word what you were thinking. "i did what i needed to do, i got my family together." gabi's eyes widened. "sasha promised me a family, and although this wasn't the family i had envisioned, it's still a family nonetheless. i believe her last gift to me was you, falco, and levi. and i am so grateful to have you all in my life."

gabi smiled before hugging you. she opened her mouth to say something-

"oi !" a deep voice came from the top of the stairs. "you two woke me up with all of your crying. go to bed." before your heard the creaking of the floorboards and the closing of a door.

you chuckled before standing up, pulling gabi with you. you walked her to her room, and even tucked her in, you both exchanged 'i love yous' and 'goodnights' before you retreated from her bedroom, closing the door behind you.

across the hall, levi stood leaned on his doorway with his arms crossed together. "that family speech, that was cute." he commented. you rolled your eyes at the older man. "were you listening in on a private conversation ?" you teased.

the ex-captain scoffed and looked away. "go to bed y/n. we have a picnic to go on tomorrow." before closing his door.

you chuckled to yourself, remembering how you brought up the idea to him that morning, and he only replied with a curt "we'll see" before sipping on his morning tea.

you went back to your own room, and got into your bed. you turned on your side, and looked at the space you always left open for sasha, and brushed your hand against the pillow.

"goodnight love."

uhhhhh doesnt feel like my best work but whatevs 😁👍 enjoy my comeback to tumblr 🤩🙏

requests open mfs ‼️

[moralesispunk]

In his eyes IV (Pero Blacksmith AU)

Pero Tovar x Female Reader

Part 3 here / Masterlist here under Pero / epilogue

Warnings: smut, oral (m and f receiving), squirting, unprotected penetrative sex

Summary: the final two days with Pero while your father is away have you confronting what life will be like when your father returns.

Word Count: 5.5k

A/N: So this is the last full chapter! I will be posting an epilogue of where Pero and the bakers daughter’s life goes but I had so much fun writing for Pero and thank you for everyone’s lovely comments :) I enjoyed it so much I have planned a second Royal Reader x Guard! Pero series but want to take some time to plan it out properly before posting!

Day Four

The sun poured in through the window, casting a warm light over your back where the bed sheets had fallen off. Slowly letting your body wake to the world you kept your eyes closed as you listened to the birds that chirped from a nearby tree and the stream that ran by the back of your river. The weight that was holding you down began to shift on your back.

Pero’s hand had been taking up the most part of your back, holding you tight to his chest throughout the night. He was still asleep, only just, and you could feel the steady rise and fall of his chest in time with his heartbeat that tapped against your cheek. Your bare skin was moulding against one another with every empty curve of yours being filled by him. You tilted your head up to take in his sleeping form, a lot more relaxed than you had ever seen him. His sharp jaw was within reach for your lips and so you shifted your body up to place a gentle kiss between his ear and jaw.

One of his eyes opened, looking down at you before he closed it again and pulled you tighter against his chest as he sighed contently.

“Good morning,” you whispered against his skin.

He hummed back, his fingertips now dragging up and down your back as he started to wake.

“Pero,” you whispered, waiting until his eyes opened again before you continued, “I have to work the market today.”

“Soon,” he grumbled before moving so your body was fully on top of his, your head resting on his stomach with your legs in the space between his.

His hands continued in their movement up and down against your back. His fingertips were rough, years of being weathered by labour and the harsh weather, but their movements were gentle as if he was handling the most delicate glass. You stayed against his warmth for a while longer, listening to his heartbeat that stayed as calm as it was while asleep, before finally pulling yourself from him to sit back on your heels, kneeling between his legs.

Looking down at him you finally got to take in his body under the light of the morning sun. Reaching out, you traced over the marks and scars that had stayed hidden under the dim candle light the night before. He was strong, covered in tales of his travels, but softer in age. Your hands continued tracing his skin as he watched your carefully, shifting his head on the pillow to fully take in the sight before him.

Pero could count on one hand the amount of times he woke up next to a woman but he had never woken up and been treated so carefully. The woman in front of him treated him as gently as she looked. Her eyes were never filled with even the smallest hint of fear when she looked at him, only care.

You looked up at him, smiling while your eyes were still half asleep. Your hands were lazy, eventually finding their way to his thighs and trailing across his hip bones. He couldn’t stop the shiver that made its way down his body as you did so.

Despite being completely bare in front of him in a way no one had ever seen you before, you felt no need to cover yourself. When your hands reached his middle you finally stopped before letting your fingers drag down his cock gently. The night before had been beautiful but you wanted him to teach you more. Teach him how to make him feel good.

His cock began to harden but his hands reached for your wrists to gently grab them and pull you down towards him.

“If you don’t stop we will never make it to the market,” he whispered against your lips before kissing you, “later.”

You pulled back and nodded before climbing from the bed. When you stood you realised the ache between your legs, wincing slightly as you reached for your clothes for the day.

Pero stood quickly, grasping your elbow, “I wasn’t too rough last night was I?”

“No,” you turned to place your hand on his chest, “you were perfect.”

Standing on your toes, you placed a kiss to his cheek before walking out of the room to get ready for the day. By the time you were ready, Pero was already downstairs with two bowls of porridge laid out for you. You eat quickly, wishing you had woke up with more time to spare to enjoy this domestic moment.

Pero washed the bowls as you filled the baskets for the markets, making sure you had all the breads and pastries to sell today. Once they were ready Pero had lifted them before you could, leaving you with only the spare coins to carry for the day.

“Would- would you like some help today?” Pero’s voice came from beside you as you left the house.

“Are you sure?” you double checked you had everything before leaving the garden, “I do not want to make you work on one of your days off.”

“I am sure, it also means I get to spend more of today with you,” he winked, opening the gate.

The market was busying as you arrived, Pero watching while you set up the stall how he had seen you do so many times before as he approached the market as a customer. He stayed by your side throughout the day, helping to wrap pastries for customers.

You laughed as he served one, listening to his gruff tone as he spoke and realising why he worked in a role that did not require as much people skills. Throughout the day you would feel his hand rest on your back as he moved by you to place coins in the bag at your side, his gentle touch reminding you of his hands on your skin the night before.  

As the morning went on the market grew quieter until there were only a few customers left roaming by early afternoon. You took the time to count the coins made for the day before packing up but the sound of voices behind you caused you to lose count. Turning around you found Pero, leaning against the wall with his legs crossed over one another and arms across his chest as he spoke to two of the village children.

They were small boys, one with a ball tucked under his arm that he had forgotten about as they both listened to Pero with wide eyes. You couldn’t hear what Pero was saying, only noticing the soft and playful tone of his voice. Whatever was said caused the two boys to laugh, turning wide eyed to one another

The smile on Pero’s face was wide, mirroring the child-like nature of the boys in front of him. This was the Pero you had grown to know, gentle and caring and not as intimidating as the villagers first thought he was. He looked up, his eyes finding yours, before nodding towards the market and kicking off the wall. The boys followed excitedly behind him, their smiles growing wider as Pero took two coins from his pocket and placing them by the pile you were carrying. He lifted the last two sweet, sugar covered pastries before handing one to each of the boys.

“Do not eat until you are home and until your mother lets you,” he playful warned as he wagged a finger at them.

The boys cheered out a thank you, Mr Pero as they skipped off down the street with pastries in hand. Your eyes stayed on Pero as he watched them weave through the markets, noticing the slight wrinkles that pulled at the side of his eyes as he smiled.

“Cute kids,” you laughed while turning back to tidy up the rest of the stall for the day.

“Rascals,” he smiled turning back to you.

“I didn’t know you were good with children?” you half-asked as you handed him the empty baskets. Pero shrugged, taking them in his hands and waiting for you to collect the coins and lead the way back to the forest.

You felt lighter than you had in the longest time, walking back to your home that you had spent the night in with the man beside you the night before. Around half way back, raindrops began to fall from the gaps between the leaves. It was light enough not to change the pace of your steps but Pero still took the coins from your hand and placed them in the safety of his pocket.

A moment later, the rain started to fall in lashes. Pero reached for your hand and ran down the path, keeping you close to follow behind. You laughed and Pero cheered as your feet were hitting the quickly filling puddles, your feet hitting the ground faster than they had since you were a young child.

When you finally reached the house, Pero pushed the door open to usher you inside and close it quickly behind. You were both soaked through to the bone as moved around the table to start the fire.

“You should take your clothes off, I’ll see if I can find you something else,” you called over your shoulder to Pero who stood close to the door.

He stood for a moment before nodding and reaching for the string at the back of the tunic. You let him undress as you left the room and headed to your room. Once you were changed into a dry night dress, deciding to stay comfortable for the rest of today, you searched and finally found a tunic for Pero.

When you walked back to Pero he was waiting for you by the fire. His skin was covered in a red and orange light, illuminating his back muscles that moved as he stretched his neck. You called his name, handing him the tunic as he turned around.

The room was already heating up and you took your wet clothes to place over the fire while Pero pulled the tunic over his head. Moving to the couch behind you, you pulled a knitted blanket over you and held it open for Pero to join.

“Thank you for helping today, Pero,” you turned to face him.

His eyes were dark but under the light of the fire you noticed the golden specs that were within. The house was filled with the noise of rain hitting against the house, a comfortable loudness that made you feel safe in here, with him.

“It was my pleasure,” he hummed in response.

“My father will be back tomorrow,” you turned to face the fire and you felt Pero nod in response, “I have enjoyed your company Pero,” you felt yourself trail off as you remained unsure about what your father’s return would mean.

“I have enjoyed yours, more than any other before,” he admits, his hand reaching up you tilt your head towards him, “I- I feel at home with you, more at home than I have felt since I was a child.”

“I don’t want this to end, Pero,” you whispered.

His hand moved up from your chin, tracing down your nose and jaw before stopping at your collarbone and letting his fingers drag along there.

“Nor do I.”

You couldn’t stop the gasp that left your lips as he touched you so delicately, your own hand moving to cover his. He paused for a moment, thinking you were wanting him to stop, but you instead guided his hand lower to cup your breast, squeezing over his hand. He leaned forward as his hand squeezed before taking your nipple between his fingers and pinching, taking your lips in a breathtaking kiss as he pushed your body back against the couch and hovered over you.

“Pero, please,” you sighed as you turned your head, letting him kiss down your neck while arching your back into his touch.

He kept one hand balancing by your head as the other trailed down your body, lifting your night dress up and squeezing up your thigh. His hand reached your middle, growling as his fingers moved up your folds.

“So wet for me already?”

“Please, Pero. I- I won’t break,” you moaned, wanting to feel every inch of him on you and not as gentle as the night before.

He sat back on his heels, looking down at you from above. His eyes moved down to your soaked cunt and watched desperately as he pushed two fingers inside. He waited for a moment, still taking care that you were okay, but upon seeing pure pleasure on your face he began pulling them out and pushing them back in again at an excruciatingly slow pace. He bit his lip as he watched your tight walls pull his fingers back in again, mesmorised by you.

“M-more, Pero,” you begged while rocking your hips into his hand and he smirked.

He started moving his fingers faster and faster as he watched your back arch  into his touch and his thumb came up to rub over your clit.

“Feels- feels so good,” your hands pulled at your dress as your mind was clouded by pure pleasure.

“So good for me, I could watch you like this all the time,” he moaned, “let go, you can do it,” he coaxed.

Your hand reached for his wrist, holding on as his fingers moved relentlessly against you and when his fingers curled the wave suddenly crashed over you.

You forced your eyes to stay open as you looked down, seeing a gush of your wetness soak Pero’s arm and tunic. Suddenly all you could see was white, your head falling back against the pillow behind you and feeling your body go limp. The ringing in your ears was loud and by the time you finally came to all you could hear was your own moan of Pero’s name and his growling from above.

“I’ve got you, good girl, I’ve got you,” he moaned as he slowed his movements before removing his fingers from you.

When you looked up, Pero’s eyes were darker than usual; full of neediness. His chest was rising and falling rapidly and he balanced his soaked hand on your knee.

“I- I-,” you couldn’t find the words, still trying to focus.

“Shh, you’re okay,” he pulled the wet tunic over his head and leaned down kissing you gently, before squeezing himself between you and the back of the couch.

He curled his body into yours, his hardness pressing into your side as he ran his fingers over your skin.

“How was that?” he whispered in your ear, watching the goosebumps that followed.

“Amazing,” you sighed turning to him.

“Good,” he smirked.

You reached your hand down, wrapping your hand around his length and looking up at him. “I want to make you feel good, Pero. Show me how,” you purred and he groaned in response.

“Tell me how you want to make me feel good, with your pretty mouth,” he leaned over you to kiss your lips once, “or with your soft hands,” he reached for your hand, taking it in his and kissing your knuckles while his eyes stayed on yours.

“My mouth. I want to taste you, Pero,” you sat up.

His lips founds yours once again as his hand made its way into the back of your head, needier as he sat up and pulled you closer against him. He re-positioned your bodies so he was now lying on his back and you were straddling his lap. You dragged your lips away from his and began to kiss down his cheek and jaw, sucking on his neck slightly and grinning against his skin as he moaned, before kissing down the bare skin of his chest. You had sure to move down so to kiss each scar you could find. His hands held the side of your face as you did so, his mouth open wide as he watched how gently you treated his body.

He was already hard, his cock flat against his stomach and leaking by the time you reached it. When you settled between his legs you kissed down his length, letting your tongue drag down it.

You stopped, looking back up at Pero suddenly embarrassed to ask him what to do but he stopped you with a nod.

“Open that pretty mouth for me,” he instructed gently.

You did so and with his hands in your hair he guided your over his cock that he held by the base. You kept your eyes on his as you took him in your mouth, listening to the gasp that left his mouth as you did so.

“There you go. Just take what you can, watch your teeth,” his tone was gentle, guiding, no hint of judgement or patronising you.

Your mouth bobbed up and down his length taking more each time. Your other hand gripped at his base, moving in time with your mouth to take the rest that you could not take. Your free hand was on his thigh, gripping whenever you felt as though you were about to gag.

‘Th- feels so good,” he moaned, his hands moving to cup your cheek and base of your neck as he helped guide your movements.

His head hit back against the pillow, trying his hardest to keep his eyes open and on you as you look up at him. You looked so perfect with your mouth on his cock and eyes looking up at him to watch his reactions to your movements. It was taking all his power not to cum there and then so after a few moments he gently lifted you from him and pulled you up for a kiss.

“Was- was that okay?” you asked as you pulled away.

“Perfect, my love, but I want to be inside you before I let myself go,” he turned your head to kiss down your neck, “turn around for me? On your hands and knees?”

He waited to gauge your reaction to his request and upon seeing your eyes light up as you bite at your lip and nod he began to move. He held your hips gently as you move like he says, turning away from him as he also moves up to his knees. He held you against his chest for a moment, kissing down your neck while pulling your dress over your head before letting you lean forward on your elbows. You looked back over your shoulder as he lines himself up at your entrance. He forces his eyes closed, unable to look at you or he knows he wont last long.

He guides himself in and your moans fill the room as you struggle to keep your weight up. One of his hands holds onto your hip to keep you steady while the other moves round to your clit, wanting you to cum one more time. The sound of his skin slapping against yours makes you moan more, your arms shaking while trying to hold your weight up.

As his fingers move against your clit you can’t help but move your hips back against him, listening to his moans as you do so spurring you on and you keep your hips moving in that rhythm. Both you movements became sloppy and by the time you came Pero’s body was covering yours. His hand was now by your head with his fingers locked with yours while his chest pressed onto your back.

You could feel his breath on the back of your neck get heavier and heavier until he pulled from you and you felt him cover your back with his seed, grunting and holding onto your hand tight as your name fell from his lips.

You stayed in that position as he gently cleaned you before he pulled you back to lie with him on the couch, your back pressed against his chest. He pulled a blanket over you both and his hand started to run up and down your arm before wrapping around your waist.

You turned your head into the pillow as he kissed gently down your neck before moving round to face him.

Your breaths were hot on one another’s face for a moment before he cupped your cheek and whispered your name.

“You are beautiful, so beautiful. I wish to make you smile every day and wash away the tears on the days you are sad. I love you, all of you with all of me,” he whispered against your lips.

“Pero, I- I love you, all of you with all of me,” you mirrored his words, “I do not want this to end.”

“It wont, my love,” he promised, “leave it with me.”

You nodded before kissing him gently. Your head buried into his chest and he pulled you against him, letting his fingers trail up and down your back. The rain was still loud as it crashed against the side of the house, the fire burning enough to heat you both as you fell asleep.

Day Five

The rain had stopped later on the night before while you and Pero eat dinner in front of the fire. He held you in his arms as you fell asleep for another night, this time curled up against one another on the couch.

This morning you stretched out on the couch as you woke up to another day, letting the tingle run down your spine before opening your eyes. The only heat you could feel now was the sun streaming into the room and when you realised he was no longer behind you on the couch your eyes searched the room for Pero. There was no sign of him, only a fresh set of clothes on the table by your side so you got changed before deciding to look for him.

When you reached the kitchen, you noticed the stove was on with porridge bubbling away in a pot but there is still no sign of Pero. You gave the contents a stir before you heard the door open and clang of a bucket full of water being set down on the table behind you.

“Good morning, sleep well?” Pero asked as he walked up behind you.

You hummed and turned to face him,“did you?”

Pero nodded before placing a hand on your hip from behind as you ladled some porridge into two bowls and kissed the side of your cheek. You motioned to the table and Pero pulled out a chair for you to sit at before sitting round at the other side. Breakfast was quiet as you both still woke up to the day and you did not talk again until you stood to wash the dishes.

You eat breakfast in silence, both still waking up to the day.

“Have you missed your father?” he asked as you dried the bowl he handed you.

“I have, but I have had a wonderful time with you,” you bump his arm with your elbow and he chuckles, “I should go to the market today.”

“I can help.”

You nodded and moved around the kitchen to look out your coin and baskets for the market while Pero tidied up the living room and kitchen for your father coming home.

“Do you want to talk the longer walk to the market today, by the stream?” you asked as you tied your coins to the side of your skirts.

“Yes, that sounds nice,” Pero responded as he reached for his boots.

“We can leave in a while, I’d like to enjoy the sun for now,” you reached for his hand to walk into the garden.

Pero followed, sitting beside you and resting back on his hands before you moved so your head was now resting on his lap. He closed his eyes, tilting his head up to the sun as you pulled a flower out of the ground and twirled it in between your fingers. You reached up, placing it behind his ear and tilting his head down towards you. His face was as calm as it had been the first morning you woke next to him.

“Pretty boy,” you whispered.

Pero reached over you and pulled another from the ground placing it behind your ear.

“Pretty girl,” he leaned down and kissed you softly.

You stayed like that for a while, your head on Pero’s lap as one of his hands held him up while the other rubbed gently up and down your clothed stomach. Noticing the sun reaching mid-sky you finally stood, stretching out in the sun, before pulling Pero up to join you.

The stream travels by the bottom of your garden, flowing down and by the village. It was a little deeper than it normally is because of the rain the night before but still only just below the knee height and so when you guided Pero towards it you took off your shoes lifted up your dress to walk through the water.

You held out your hand, waiting for Pero to roll his trousers and take of his own boots to join you. You both walked hand in hand down the river, occasionally pulling the other closer to bump shoulders or kiss slightly. You knew in your chest that you had fallen head over heels for the man beside you. You knew that you wanted to spend the rest of your life by his side.

As you neared the village, Pero walked with you out of the water, helping you up the embankment. When you reached the top he took your shoes from your hands, kneeling on the ground to slip them onto your feet before putting his own shoes on.

The trip to the market was quick, gathering milk, meats and vegetables for your father returning. For every item you lifted and paid for Pero was quick to  take them from you and carry them. For all Pero did not talk that much, he showed you every moment of every day that he meant those three words he whispered the night before. You were fine with that, feeling the constant warmth that loomed over you from him as he watched every movement of yours with care.

He continued to carry the food as he walked you home. You could feel his eyes on yours but whenever you turned to look at him his eyes moved forward. While he wasn’t what you called confident, his people skills getting in the way of that, he wasn’t shy either and you began to wonder what had him so nervous in this moment. Before you could question him you heard your name called by your father. You looked up to see your father standing in the garden, waving towards you.

“Papa!” you shouted before running towards your father, swinging the gate open and hugging him.

“More beautiful every day,” he pulled you away to look at you, “ah, Mr Tovar,” your father reached to shake Pero’s free hand.

“I hope your trip was well,” Pero shook his hand back, still avoiding your eyes.

“Well, looks like my daughter got enough from the market, will you stay for dinner?”

“I-I do not want to intrude-“

‘Nonsense, a thank you for taking such good care of my daughter this week.”

You and Pero could not hide your blushing cheeks and were glad for your father to lead you both inside. Pero walked next to your father as they spoke about his journey back before Pero began to help your father lifting out the food from the market from the basket.

“It’s a beautiful day, go sit in the sun while I prepare dinner,” your father shooed you out, “Mr Tovar will be out soon.”

There was a hint of something in your father’s eyes that you could not place and you looked back at Pero but as he nodded you moved into the garden.

Sitting on the grass you began to think about these past five days with Pero. You had fell into a routine with him, the past few days where you woke up and fell asleep next to him feeling more comfortable than any before. You didn’t know what would happen now, whether you would see him every Monday for checkers and serve him his bread when he came to the bakers. You were so lost in your thoughts as you stared out into the forest that you did not hear the door open or notice Pero’s footsteps until his weight sat next to you.

“I spoke to your Father,” he looked out to the field as you dragged a flower across the grass.

“What did you say?” you kept your eyes forward as well.

The minute that took him to reply felt like an eternity, the birds seemingly stalling overhead as their songs slowed. Pero’s hand reached for yours between your bodies, interlocking his fingers with yours.

“That I care for his daughter and I love her, and I believe she cares for me too,” he turned to face you.

“I believe she also loves you,” you teased as you faced him.

“He told me I would be a silly man to let that go,” his hand squeezed yours gently.

“Then don’t. Don’t let it go,” you whispered back as you shuffled closer to him.

“Marry me then? Your father told me about the spare land he owns near here, it is still in the forest and I can build our own house there. I can wake up to you each morning and love you each night. We can live as husband and wife and raise our own family… if that is what you want, my love.”

The tears that were pooling at the corner of your eye from his first two words were spilling down your cheeks by the time he took in a shaky breath at the end. He reached to wipe them away and you moved into his touch, laughing as the smile on your face was so wide it hurt your cheeks.

“I love you Pero, I would be honoured to be your wife,” you sighed contently and he finally let his own smile cover his face.

You hadn’t let yourself think about your life with Pero yet, not wanting to be hurt by whatever happened when your father returned, but with the few sentences he had spoke a moment before you realised your own dream. A life with Pero, starting a family and living in the forest well… there was no other future you would want than that with the man in front of you, holding your face gently as he promised to love you for the rest of his life.

//

Permanent tag // @phoenixhalliwell @asta-lily @hb8301 @princess76179 @sarahjkl82-blog  @spideysimpossiblegirl

Pero tag // @bonktime @justpedropascal @coldlilheart @shadowolf993 @stylelovechild @frostsoldier @idreamofboobear @artsymaddie @ajeff855 @strangelittlenobody @elegantduckturtle @roxypeanut @shedobeclownin 

[theasstour]

𝐅𝐈𝐂 𝐏𝐀𝐆𝐄 | 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 𝟐𝟎.𝟐𝐤 𝐍𝐁: 𝐚𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐡𝐨𝐥, 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐭 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐚𝐠𝐞, 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡, 𝐬𝐞𝐱𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭

A/N: Thank you so incredibly much to each one of you angels who voted for ST in the 1D Craft Awards 🥺 You continue to take my breath away with all your kindness, support and love 🐚🌊✨ ENJOYYY CHAPTER 7! x

Saturday, 25 July

The phone vibrated against the wooden table, jolting Y/N out of her focus. She blinked a few times, looking over at Fatima who turned the timer off and looked at Y/N with expectant eyes. Y/N shook her head and Fatima’s face visibly fell.

“What you mean?”

“I didn’t finish, did I?” Y/N groaned, running her hands over her face, hiding it from view for a few seconds before she sat back in her chair and looked at her laptop in front of her. The two were sitting at Olive’s Café on Island Square, seated on lime green chairs outside, the morning sun beating down on them as each of them tried to do work; Fatima looking through the curriculum she was going to teach this coming year, and Y/N doing her UCAT work. Fatima was a teacher for fourth graders, so she knew how to make things easy to understand, how to pull things apart and study properly. When Fatima had suggested that the two of them take a day together to just study, Y/N had jumped at the opportunity. Now, they had met to do exactly this a few days in a row and Y/N was really starting to feel the effects.

The thought of the UCAT exam coming closer and closer made her want to hurl. September 10th didn’t seem that far away anymore, something that absolutely terrified Y/N. Not only did she need to be out of St Ives by then, leaving her entire life and friends here behind, but she didn’t know where she’d even be. Would she even have enough money? Would she still be in Cornwall? Would she have crawled with her tail between her legs back to Winchester, asking for forgiveness for leaving them all behind?

Fatima pursed her lips, tapping her pen against the top of Y/N’s laptop. “Is it ‘cause you’re stressing too much?”

“Probs.”

“It’s hard not to when it’s important to you.”

Y/N sighed heavily, nodding her head in agreement. “This practice exam… well, it was hard.”

“They usually are, the practice exams,” Fatima explained. “Not necessarily so to scare you, more so that you’ll be aware that this will be hard, but the actual exam isn’t that bad. They never are.”

Y/N gave Fatima a little smile. “Taken the UCAT before?”

“Obvs, I’m the smartest bitch in all of the UK, if not Europe.”

Y/N laughed, quickly sighing again as she looked down at her laptop again. This was the first practice exam she had ever taken; Fatima had timed her to see if she’d make it in the estimated time it took to complete the UCAT, but Y/N hadn’t managed to. She supposed she still had a lot of time to study and prepare herself, but it still made her feel like all her studying had been for absolutely nothing. One failure, even if it didn’t mean much in the grand scheme of things, always seemed like the most important thing in the world. How had the world not shifted? How was not everyone around her crying like she felt she should be doing?

“Don’t be so hard on yourself, Y/N. I promise you’ll be fine.”

She nodded, knowing deep down that Fatima was right. The universe would balance itself out eventually, everything would be alright in the end even if her current world was crumbling right before her eyes. Maybe she was just being dramatic, maybe it wasn’t that deep and she had just not been focused enough, but Y/N felt like giving up now.

“When I feel like I’m failing at life,” Fatima started, sitting up a bit straighter in her seat. “I pick up a pillow and I just scream into it.”

Y/N blinked.

Fatima grinned.

“You just scream? How?”

“Just like you’d normally scream,” Fatima chuckled, demonstrating by pretending to pick up a pillow, burying her face in it, and silently screaming. “And after that, I feel better.”

“Like a proper scream?”

“Like you’re being chased down the street by a man in a clown costume holding an axe.”

Y/N smiled, shaking her head some. “I’ll do that when I get back to the Inn. Immediately.”

Fatima laughed just as someone came up beside them, asking the man sitting beside them if the chair opposite him was taken. When the tiny, short-haired blonde sat down beside them, she beamed from ear to ear. There was something about Ellie’s presence that just made everything better. She was so round, so small, so joyous all the time that it felt wrong to be in a sulky mood when she was around.

“I heard you’re studying,” Ellie said, perching her yellow sunglasses on the top of her head. “And by the looks of it-“ Ellie mimicked what Fatima had just done with the scream. “-It’s not going so well.”

“Y/N’s studying for that dentist test and she tried one of them practice exams, didn’t go so well.”

“Aww.” Ellie pouted. “I’ll buy you a cupcake to cheer you up. I always eat tons when I’m sad, especially sweets. Especially, especially cupcakes.”

“Thanks for the offer, but-“

“-Ima, you want a cupcake as well?” Ellie put her purse down on her chair as she got up, holding onto her card. “Or a new iced latte?”

Fatima brought a hand to her chin, pretending to think about it, making exaggerated thinking noises till Ellie blurted a “today!” that made Fatima chuckle and say, “Both please, babe.”

Ellie smiled. “Girls, you know what I think we should do after this?” She waited for a few seconds for either of them to say something, but when they didn’t Ellie went on. “Go to the beach! You can’t be sad when you’re at the beach! We’ll sunbathe, have a bit of a swim, and then go for a Cheeky V at the pub after.”

Fatima smiled a little, looking at Y/N to see if she’d be into that.

Though all Y/N wanted to do was go back to the Inn and scream into her pillow, she smiled up at Ellie. “Yeah, why not? Have a bit of a girls day.”

“Oh, my gosh, that’s exactly what it is as well,” Ellie gasped, grinning from ear to ear. “BRB, ladies, I’m getting us something sweet.” Ellie was off into Olive’s Café greeting an acquaintance loudly before she went over to talk to them. Fatima only shook her head some, turning back to the book in front of her.

“You’ll figure it out, Y/N.”

“The UCAT?” she asked, looking at her laptop again, feeling her stomach drop at the sight of the practice exam again.

“Everything,” Fatima answered with so much conviction that for a moment, Y/N almost believed her.

“Alright, crew,” Dax called as they pulled into the farm, its lush and green landscape opening up around them. “Just warning you now, I’m gonna absolutely crush you tonight. I go for the title of champion even if it means I’m gonna have to lose some friends.”

“Sad, that,” Fatima sighed. “Seeing as you’ve never won before, what makes you think you’re gonna win this year?”

Amir turned to look at them from where he sat shotgun. “Dax, you may try to win, but we all know the former singer and frontman of Astronaut Lions will go home champion tonight.”

“You are a terrible singer, Amir. Dunno why we let you even sing,” Jo groaned.

“’Cause I’ve got a silky-smooth, delicious, fantastic-“

“-Shut up, mate!” Ellie groaned, making Jo laugh and give her a high five.

Harry stopped his van, killing the engine before Dax got up and opened the door for everything in the backseats. Y/N made sure no one could see her bum as she descended from the car, keeping her hands by her buttocks to keep her pleated lilac skirt from showing too much of her skin. She put her purse on her shoulder, letting it hang over her white crop cardigan. Music could be heard from the large barn, some awful singing streamed out from the open entrance as people walked out, laughing and carrying empty plates. The farm was just as beautiful as Y/N remembered it, now smelling of delicious barbeque and sounding of hens, chatter, and the occasional failed high-note. The karaoke night seemed to be under full way, the courtyard brimming with people, the same went for the inside of the barn it seemed.

Y/N, Fatima and Ellie fell into step beside one another as they walked over to the gate, Harry opening it for the rest, gesturing for them to walk in before him. When Y/N reached him last he gave her a little smile, eyes falling to the gravel under his feet.

“Harry!” Grace yelled, running from the grill where Uncle Tim, Jessa, and lolo stood looking at the food. “Harry, Harry, Harry!”

“There she is!” Harry bent down as Grace came running, wrapping his arms around her and spinning her around, her feet dangling in the air.

“Alright, Mr Flores?” Dax asked as he walked up to the grill, putting a hand on lolo’s shoulder. Lolo grinned up at Dax, saying something that Y/N didn’t catch as Amir let out a loud groan hitting his chest with both hands.

“Let’s go! Gonna belt Material Girl in approximately five minutes, everyone come watch to have your life changed!” Amir ran into the barn, shouting something as he met a few familiar faces inside.

“After a few pints he’ll try Gentleman,” Fatima sighed. “Someone should cover Gracie’s ears then.”

“That SL song?” Jo asked. “Nah, he better do Wiley Flow, or else I’m gonna have to challenge him to a rap battle.”

“Amir’s got no chance of keeping up with any of Stormzy’s songs,” Ellie pointed out matter-of-factly, scrunching up her nose. “Anyway,” Ellie stopped Jo before they started talking. “We’re doing Sugababes, yeah? About You Now?”

“Obvs!” Fatima exclaimed, offended that Ellie might’ve thought otherwise. “And Y/N’s joining us.”

“Oh!” Y/N raised her eyebrows, chuckling a little as Fatima wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “It’s been a while since I’ve heard a Sugababes song.”

“They’re immense, aren’t they?” Ellie grinned. “I used to listen to Push The Button on repeat when I was like 12.”

“Was more of a Too Lost in You type of girl,” Y/N said, making Fatima gasp and Ellie bring a hand up to her chest.

“We’re doing Too Lost in You!” Ellie clapped her hands frantically. “Oh, my life! Legendary!”

“Of course,” Fatima smiled. “You wanna sing, yeah?”

“Let me down three ciders and I’ll be good to go.”

Jo laughed, gesturing for Y/N to follow them over to the main house where the four of them helped themselves to something to drink. Y/N glanced out of the kitchen window at the Styles-Flores family where they stood by the grill, sipping her cider. Grace sat on Harry’s shoulders, hands in his hair as she giggled at something. Harry had both his hands wrapped around his little sister’s ankles, holding her in place. Jessa was grinning at the two while Uncle Tim stood talking by the grill, asking lolo if what he was doing was alright, not having grilled this specific type of Filipino dish before. Dax stood chatting to one of Harry’s aunts, if it was Rachel or Abby, Y/N could not for the life of herself remember, but she noticed Harry’s aunt’s kids running around the grill, shouting at one another and laughing.

Y/N had never experienced a dynamic like this before. This family was so welcome, so big, so loving, and it made her happy to just watch them and know that, for a split second in time, she had been part of it. Maybe not a real part of it because this was not her family after all, but she had been touched by their warmth and been their guest for a time being. She would forever be grateful for that. Love tasted like Jessa’s lumpia, radiated like lolo’s approving smile, smelled like Grace’s hair after she had been out plucking wildflowers, and felt like Harry’s arms wrapped around her. Nothing would ever be quite like this.

“Let’s go to the barn,” Ellie said.

“I’ll just go say hi to Jessa,” Y/N announced, giving them all a smile before she walked outside and over to the grill where everyone was standing.

“Y/N!” Jessa exclaimed, opening her arms for her. Y/N grinned, walking over and doing the mano po on both Jessa and lolo. “How have you been? Don’t feel like I’ve seen you in ages.” Jessa swatted Harry’s arm, making him flinch away. “He’s keeping you all to himself, isn’t he?”

“I’ve been busy, nanay!” Harry said, furrowing his brows at his step-mum.

“Karaoke is huge in the Philippines,” Jessa explained, as she linked her arm with Y/N’s bringing her over to the grill where lolo and Tim were standing. “It is an understatement to say that Filipinos love karaoke, I daresay. Almost every Filipino home has a karaoke machine, Harry’s dad bought ours when we first moved here, but we put it out in the barn ‘cause we don’t really use it unless there’s a karaoke night, like tonight.”

“How nice, this is a tradition then? Each summer?”

“Yeah, we have a karaoke barbeque night every summer, everyone’s invited!” Jessa beamed. “It’s a fantastic way to just relax, forget about everything for a little while, belt your heart out to some of your favourite songs.”

Y/N smiled, eyes landing on the grill.

“Alright, Y/N?” Tim asked, smiling at her. “We made some tempeh for you, some Filipino barbeque sauce on it that’s out of this world. Not surprised, though, when Jessa made it.”

“Oh!” Jessa waved her hand as if to dismiss the compliment, but squeezed his shoulder. “I’m excited to see what you think. It was either tempeh or baos, thought you might like this a bit more.”

Y/N took a plate and a fork and watched as Tim put some food on her plate, thanking him once it was done. She picked up the tempeh and blew on it before she took a bite out of it, chewing it thoroughly and smiling at Jessa after swallowing.

“That’s brilliant.”

“Ahh! You think?” Jessa grinned, looking from Tim and back to Y/N, then at lolo. “Amá, Y/N liked the tempeh we made.”

Lolo smiled at Y/N and looked at her plate, nodding slowly. “You have to come and make some food with us once. You are part of the family now; we can show you our secret recipes.”

Y/N chuckled some before swallowing her bite of tempeh. “Wouldn’t say I’m part of the family, but thank you-“

“-Nonsense!” Jessa exclaimed, shaking her head furiously. “You are here, you’re making Harry happy, and since you’ve come to St Ives, the world’s been a brighter place. You’re where you need to be.”

For some reason, Y/N couldn’t quite believe what Jessa was saying. She knew it was coming from a good place, that she meant that it was nice to have Y/N there, but her family was in Winchester, she couldn’t possibly come into a new one and then ruin that one as well. This family she was visiting in St Ives would do just fine without her when she left in August. No one would miss her once she had been gone for a week, that was just a fact. Y/N was so bloody lost, she did not know what to do once her and Harry “broke up”, but she knew she would not disappoint and make any of the people around her sad, she refused.

Instead, Y/N smiled as she took the last bite of the tempeh, chewing and swallowing before she said. “Harry said something about an end of summer party.”

“Yes! I wanted to talk to you about that! Because, on the topic of food,” Jessa smiled back. “If you could give me some of your favourite vegetarian dishes, I’d love to make them for you! It would be amazing for many others to try something new as well.”

“I’d be more than happy to help out,” Y/N said, looking over at Grace as she sat on Dax’s back, the blonde man running around in circles as Harry ran after them, growling and acting like a disformed monster of sorts. She smiled a little at the sight, he looked absolutely ridiculous. How was he still cute? “I’ll bring the veggie food and I’ll show you how to make those, and then you show me how to make some Filipino dishes as well.”

Jessa placed a hand over her heart, beaming at Y/N. “You are an absolute treasure, me lover.”

Y/N smiled, eating some more of the tempeh. “When should I come and help out?”

“Are you free Tuesday?”

“Yeah, I don’t have any plans as of now.”

“Great! Harry will drive you here then. It’ll just be me, amá, Gracie, and Harry, and now you.” Jessa put her hand on Y/N’s arm, squeezing her lovingly before she turned to answer a question Tim asked her about the food he was currently grilling.

Y/N looked in the direction of Harry, Dax and Grace again, now walking towards the house. Jessa must have noticed Y/N staring in their direction because she linked her arm through Y/N’s and the two walked in the direction of the house as well.

“There’s more food inside,” she explained, grinning from ear to ear. “We do grill a lot, but Tim’s not really the best with the grill and he always insists on grilling at these gatherings, I don’t really have the heart to tell him no.” Jessa led Y/N into the dining room where she remembered all the food had been served at Grace’s birthday party. Again, casserole upon casserole stood spread over the dining table, covering it completely. Most of the dishes were all dug into, some almost completely wiped from the casseroles.

“Here,” Jessa said as she led Y/N over to the table. “I made your lumpia, there’s a few other vegetarian options as well.”

The fact that Jessa thought of this, thought of Y/N’s preference and made life a little easier for her, was so greatly appreciated that it nearly brought tears to Y/N’s eyes.

“This is biko,” Jessa explained, pointing to a casserole filled with banana leaves, a brown dish resting in it. “It’s a rice cake made from malagkit, or sticky rice, coconut milk, and brown sugar. Like other rice cakes, it is referred to as kakanin, taken from the word kanin which means rice, and is often eaten as a dessert or meryenda, meaning a mid-afternoon snack.”

“It looks lovely,” Y/N said, reaching for the spoon to get herself a slice before it was all eaten up. “Know we’re probably not set for dessert just yet, but I might just need some.”

Jessa laughed, smiling as Y/N took a bite of the biko. “What do you reckon, darling?”

“Heavenly, Jessa.”

Jessa clapped her hands together in delight, grinning from ear to ear as Y/N went in for another bite. “You have to try the buko pie next.”

“Which one’s that?”

Jessa pointed to a golden pie, not waiting for any sort of reply before cutting Y/N a small piece, placing it on Y/N’s plate. “It’s a sweet and rich pie made from young coconut meat.”

“Oh?”

“Buko pies are mostly sold in southern parts of Luzon in the Philippines. There’s this specific store down there called Collette’s that serves the best buko pie. I will never be able to replicate it, but I will try my hardest, every time I make a buko pie,” Jessa smiled. “We need to take you to Luzon, Y/N, you’d love it. Once we’ve saved up and all that.”

“This is the best buko pie I’ve ever tasted at least,” Y/N said, and Jessa laughed again looking out through the window only to sigh deeply.

“I need to go out there, it seems Tim is struggling and amá cannot be asked to help him out.” Jessa sprinted out, shouting something at Tim that Y/N didn’t catch but by the look on all the relatives standing around and Tim’s face, it couldn’t have been good. Y/N smiled a little, eating the rest of her pie before she realised she heard music. This wasn’t the type streaming out from the barn, this was coming from inside the house. And it was coming from the piano.

Y/N walked into the kitchen and placed her now empty plate on the kitchen counter before walking over to the dining room again, walking over to the doorway leading into the living room. With Grace on his lap, Harry was sitting by the piano, playing a tune Y/N had never heard before. It was both hopeful and very sad, unlike anything Y/N had ever heard before. There was no note sheet in front of him as he played, his eyes were only on the keys in front of him. Grace sometimes leaned forward and pressed a key she wasn’t supposed to, looking up at Harry while she giggled before leaning into him again, listening to the rest of the song.

“Can you play that other one?” Grace asked as Harry continued to play.

“What other one? There are quite a few, Gracie.”

“She means the one about me,” Dax grinned, standing beside the piano with his arms crossed, a massive grin on his face. “Go on, Hazza. Play that one inspired by Sexy Back.”

“Watch your mouth,” Harry hissed through gritted teeth, making his best friend laugh.

“Noooo!” Grace laughed. “The one you wrote after you, me and Y/N went to St Austell. The one about that trip.”

“Ahh, haven’t heard that one before,” Dax said, walking over to sit on the sofa beside the piano, watching the two siblings as they settled in again. Grace pressed one of the keys, looking up at Harry who smiled down at her and shook his head. He took her hand, bringing her finger over to the correct starting note, pressing it down for a long while so she’d get the feel of it. Then, he brought her to the next one, slowly playing the melody out before Grace motioned for Harry to take over for her.

What Harry produced just pressing a couple of keys at just the right moment was so breath-taking that Y/N almost felt dizzy. There was something to this melody that words weren’t ready to properly convey yet, something that was too powerful for a simple human brain to comprehend. Y/N understood why Harry wrote songs now. This melody captured that day perfectly. Her heart knew that melody. It had played that melody itself that day; it had been there with Harry while he came up with it as well.

She was thrown back to walking along St Austell, spending the day in the sunshine with two people that she had come to care so incredibly much for. Thrown back to standing side by side with Harry, talking about music, walking along the market, eating ice cream, laughing till her sides hurt. A lump suddenly appeared in her throat.

“What the fuc-“

“-Dax,” Harry said, stopping immediately. “No.”

“I’ve heard that word before, Harry,” Grace said.

“What, when?!”

“Harry, that was insane,” Dax said, grinning as he stood up from the sofa again. Before Y/N could be noticed, she stepped away from the doorway and walked outside again, feeling every inch of her chest hurting.

“Y/N!” Jo called. “Come in here!” They stood by the grill with a plate filled with food, waving her over so the two of them could walk in together.

She grinned over at Jo as she made her way over, them walking in the direction of the barn together. She waved at people she recognised – Florence from Bessie’s knitting club and Dax’s mum, was one of them. The inside of the barn was decorated with plenty of fairylights, giving the old interior a yellowish and homely glow resembling candlelight. There were small tables and chairs all around so people could sit down to eat, drink, and chat, while a huge screen was positioned by the furthest wall, two microphones attached to what looked to be a high quality karaoke machine of sorts. Jo showed the way and they sat down with the rest, it didn’t take long for Harry, Dax, and Grace to join them. Y/N got out of her chair and tapped Grace on the shoulder.

“Haven’t gotten a hug yet,” Y/N said and Grace jumped off the ground, throwing her arms around Y/N’s neck. She laughed, hugging the little girl to her for a few heavenly seconds before she stepped away. “You look nice today.”

“Nanay told me not to spill anything on it,” Grace said as she gestured at her pink, sparkly dress. “I told her I can’t promise that.”

Y/N chuckled. “You’re doing well so far, I’d say.”

“Thank you!” Grace beamed. “Anyway, Harry’s drinking that drink that makes his breath smell awful.”

“Gracie,” Harry warned from where he now sat beside Ellie, but the little girl did not appear to want to hear what he had to say.

“How can you kiss someone with bad breath, Y/N?” Grace asked and Y/N’s heart dropped at little as she thought about kissing Harry again. How they weren’t going to kiss again. How she wanted to kiss him, but not because they were fake dating. It took everything in Y/N not to look in Harry’s direction, because, judging by his little utterance of his sister’s name before, she knew he must’ve heard this as well.

“You don’t care if they’ve got bad breath if you really want to kiss them,” Y/N answered, giving Grace a smile.

Grace grimaced. “I would never kiss someone if their breath stank.”

“Don’t talk about kissing, you’re seven,” Harry said, sipping his pint.

Y/N raised her eyebrows at Grace and Grace did the same back. At Grace’s instructions, Y/N sat down in her seat so Grace could sit in her lap. Grace watched the people singing intently, sometimes singing along and nodding her head along to the music like she couldn’t help it. It was impossible not to smile at the sight of it, Y/N simply cared for this little creature so much it was hard for her to fully comprehend it. Grace, though young and Harry’s little sister, was the closest thing Y/N had ever come to a sister. They didn’t have a deep connection through thoughtful conversation, but they just understood and went along. There was an emotional and meaningful connection that, though not talked about, had appeared because they enjoyed and appreciated each other’s company.

Grace ran over to a nearby table to get herself some water, leaving Y/N sitting in the chair alone, her lap feeling oddly cold. On the other side of the table, Amir was talking loudly over the karaoke battle that had just begun.

“When I go back up to London for work in two weeks’ time, I feel like I’m just gonna make a right fool of myself, yeah? Normally takes a week for me to turn my weird off after I’ve been home.”

“Gonna be weird when you and Jo are off again,” Ellie said. “Why do you two have to work in London? Why can’t you just stay in St Ives?”

“Bit liberating to leave this place for another one every once in a while, not gonna lie,” Jo admitted, sipping their beer.

“Makes you realise all you’ve missed,” Fatima nodded. “Was the same when I came home for uni breaks, now I’m just really happy I ended up here. Might be underpaid as a teacher, but-“ Fatima shrugged her shoulders. “-I love living and working here, it’s home, after all.”

Y/N hated that she had never experienced that feeling; of coming back to something you had missed. Of coming home.

“Bum that,” Dax said. “I want my mates home at all times! I don’t care you’ve got a job!”

Y/N chuckled, the conversation around them commencing as she looked down at the table, picking at a stain on the table. Grace came back just then, but she didn’t get to sit down before Dax said her name.

“Wanna go up and sing your heart out?”

Grace squealed and took Harry’s hand. Harry downed the rest of his beer and stood up, walking with Grace, Dax, and Amir up to the karaoke machine. Y/N rested her chin in her hand, smiling as she watched the four of them discuss what song to do. It had to be an easy one that Grace already knew, it might be hard to find the correct one. They took some time to decide, but suddenly, the drums to a song Y/N recognised from Harry’s favourite’s playlist started playing. She remembered how Grace really loved that playlist.

“Uptown girl,” Grace sang into the microphone as she perched on Harry’s hip, sharing microphone’s with him. “She’s been living in her uptown world.”

Dax and Amir joined in as well, singing along with Grace who was still unsure of the lyrics but tried to read them as best she could on the screen in front of them. Harry moved them to the music, Dax throwing an arm around Amir’s shoulders as they started singing their hearts out. It was simply impossible not to smile as you watched the four of them, dancing and singing along to Billy Joel’s song.

“God,” Fatima sighed as she scooched her chair closer to Y/N’s. “I wish someone looked at me the way Harry looks at you.”

Y/N halted a little at Fatima’s words, looking in her direction as Amir, Dax, and Grace sang “And now she’s looking for her downtown man, that’s what I am”.

“Pardon?”

Fatima grinned. “Oh, you know-“ She placed her chin in her head, looking off into the distance with exaggerated doe eyes, a dreamy look on her face. For a split second, Y/N’s heart seemed to lurch out of her chest. Harry… Harry looked at her like that? He glanced at her? Surely, Fatima was not being serious and she had simply caught Harry smiling at Grace when she sat in Y/N’s lap.

Y/N laughed. “You’re taking the mick, that’s not how he looks at me.”

“Wouldn’t know, would you? Always happens when you’re not looking.”

“Harry,” Grace said, not even bothering to hold the microphone away as she spoke to him in the middle of the song. “You need to sing, the song’s for Y/N, remember?”

Y/N glanced beyond Fatima and at the group in front of the screen, a rush of adrenaline streaming through her veins. Laughter could be heard throughout the room at Grace’s words, many turning in Y/N’s direction to look at her, all with smiles and curious looks on their faces. At once, Y/N’s face seemed to be too hot for its own good. She bit her bottom lip, continued to watch the gang, ignoring the heat in her cheeks.

Harry seemed to take a deep breath before he started singing with Amir and Dax, both of them doing a miserable job of doing the song any sort of justice. Neither were impressive singers, but Y/N knew Harry was.

“Uptown girl, you know I can’t afford to buy her pearls,” Harry sang, voice so effortlessly breath-taking that Y/N felt like she was doing a pretty good job of imitating the dreamy look Fatima had demonstrated earlier. “But maybe someday when my ship comes in, she’ll understand what kind of guy I’ve been, and then I’ll win.”

Grace joined in then, wrapping her arm around Harry’s shoulder and leaning her head against his. They all continued to sing along to the song, Y/N not paying any sort of attention to the conversation between Fatima, Ellie, and Jo. She watched as the four of them cheered once they were done singing, bowing to the small applause they got before returning to the table.

“I need to go tell nanay!” Grace shouted, running off outside to Jessa and the rest of the family.

Y/N smiled at Harry as he came back, getting a tight-lipped smile back before he picked up his, Dax’s, Amir’s and Jo’s empty beer cans, walking over to get them all a new round. Grace came back with Halo Halo, placing herself on Y/N’s lap as the two ate, talking non-stop. The little one disappeared after a little while, Y/N suspected it was because it was getting rather late. As the night went on, Y/N realised that the only two that would be able to stand by the end of the night were her and Fatima. The others got very drunk, talking loudly about everything insignificant and nothing they would remember in the morning. Harry kept looking at the watch on his wrist, clearly making sure that they got back to his at a good hour so he could report at 3am. When Harry’s speech got a bit more slurred and his eyes a wee hooded, Y/N started looking out for him. Using the time on her phone, she kept an eye out, making sure that Harry returned to his cottage before then so he could sleep off most of his intoxication.

Talking amongst themselves as the rest chatted loudly, Fatima and Y/N agreed that Fatima would be the one to drive everyone home. It would be easier to drop Harry off last as this was his van, and Fatima didn’t live too far away from the lighthouse, the two then decided Y/N would sleep at her place that night, it would be nice just being the two of them. She loved how closed she was getting to Fatima and Ellie. There hadn’t really been a time before when she had made proper good friends, but everyone around that table were currently climbing very fast and very high up on her list of favourite people in the entire world. She genuinely appreciated Fatima’s help with the UCAT reading earlier that week, it had really helped her along, even though the result hadn’t been the best. That was Y/N’s fault though, not Fatima’s teaching skills.

At one point, Dax got all of them up from the table, bringing them over to the screen, telling them over and over again how they needed to do this. Y/N was unsure if they really did, but she didn’t bother telling a very drunk Dax that as he handed out microphones, telling people to share. Y/N scooted up next to Ellie, watching Harry as he put an arm around Jo’s shoulder, patting them as the two of them along with Amir watched Dax search for the song.

“We need to know what song we’re gonna embarrass ourselves to,” Amir exclaimed as Dax was taking his time typing.

“I’m not about to do a Union J song, mate,” Ellie said.

“Alright, I liked one of their songs ten years ago, Ellie!” Dax looked over his shoulder at her, a deep furrow to his brow. “Carry You is a belter!”

“It’s not.”

“Jo, back me up here,” Dax said, turning back to write something into the laptop standing there.

“Dax… don’t make us sing Union J or The Wanted or JLS or anything like that, we don’t need that,” Jo sighed.

“The fact you’re embarrassed about our boyband period in 2013 hurts.” Dax glared at Jo.

“Right, then, what’s the song we’re singing?” Harry shot in, nodding at the laptop again. “We’re just standing here lookin’ stupid now.”

“Looking stupid?” Amir tutted, shaking his head. “Couldn’t be me, mate. Model material, this is. Look like I’m straight off the runway.” He gestured at his body and Fatima feigned throwing up, making the five drunks howl with laughter.

“Ultraviolet, Stiff Dylans.”

Y/N gasped at Dax’s words, bringing her hand up to her chest as the others around just looked at her, afraid something had happened. She grinned at Dax. “That used to be my favourite song!”

This seemed to be shocking news to absolutely everyone.

“What?” Y/N raised her eyebrows. “Angus, Thongs, and Perfect Snogging was revolutionary.”

“Too right,” Harry said. “But… were you…” He blinked a few times. “Were you even allowed to watch it? Not a film I reckon would’ve been allowed in your house.”

Y/N shrugged her shoulders. “What can I say, I used to be a rebel.”

“Yes, Y/N!” Dax grinned, giving Y/N a high five. “Now, bum God Save the Queen, this is Britain’s national anthem! Someone record this, history in the making!”

The familiar music started up and Y/N was taken back to a time when she had a massive crush on Aaron Taylor-Johnson, hiding her obsession with this film from her parents, and listening to this song on repeat. The whole gang started singing, Amir doing a horrible job of keeping up with everyone else, but it was fun to watch him get annoyed with himself for not getting it right. Involuntarily, Y/N’s eyes fell on Harry. He was singing his heart out, sounding better than everyone else, but in his drunken state he seemed to have forgotten some of the lyrics. However, everyone knew the song and it felt very good to be with people she adored, singing a song all of them knew and loved, together. She felt part of something bigger than herself in that moment.

Maybe that was why she did it. Because, looking back, Y/N did not quite know what came over her in that moment, but she loved herself for it. As the song started nearing the end, Y/N took the microphone out of Ellie’s hands and started singing at the top of her lungs, taking absolutely everyone by surprise but she did not care. Ellie started laughing and the rest joined in again towards the end, matching Y/N’s volume.

As she turned around after the song, grinning from ear to ear as she glanced at her friends, basking in their applause and cheers, she caught Harry’s eye. That crooked smile of his was on his face along with a look she wasn’t sure she had ever really seen before, maybe only once. Amusement tangled up with adoration, forming a sort of emotion that had yet to be given a word; someone on the cusp of surrendering themselves completely to the overpowering concept of love, yet still holding back in fear of the unrequited. As soon as their eyes met, Harry looked away, scratching at the back of his neck as he walked back over to their table, everyone following suit.

The time came for them all to leave and Harry gave Y/N the car keys, claiming that he was not fit to drive, though she had not needed him to tell her that. Y/N gave them over to Fatima and all of them made their way over to the van. The night sky was black, brimming with glinting stars and the moon hanging big and yellow over Cornwall, wishing them all a good night. Y/N walked over to Jessa and thanked her for her hospitality, asking her where lolo and Grace were. She explained they’d gone to bed a long time ago, lolo had probably read Grace a bedtime story and fallen asleep himself, he sometimes did that when he stayed the night at the farm.

Y/N ran over to the van, opening the passenger door to see Amir sitting there, a bag in front of him in case he should throw up on the way home. He gave Y/N a peace sign before she closed the door and opened the door into the backseats.

“There you are,” Jo said through a yawn. “Let’s go, Ima.”

“Y/N!” Harry called from further back in the van, making Dax groan and mumble a “shut up, mate” that Harry did not hear. “Y/N! My flower! Come back here, I saved us the whole back backseat!”

Y/N glanced in Fatima’s direction, only to see her friend raise her eyebrows at her, nodding her head. “He made a big fuss.”

“Y/N, come here, I want to tell you something,” Harry said, words slurring a bit. Y/N stepped into the van properly, closing the door behind her before she walked back to Harry, sitting down in the seat right beside him by the window, even though there were three seats in the far back of the car. The car jolted a little as Fatima started driving, steering the car up the gravel round and towards the centre of St Ives.

“What’d you wanna say?” Y/N asked Harry in a hushed voice, hoping he’d mimic her.

“I… I wanted to say something that’s been on my mind for a while now,” he said, whispering back to her, his face mere centimetres from her own. She felt hot all over, adoring their close proximity but also remembering the rule they had made some days ago. As they drove by the white fluorescent streetlights, Harry’s face lit up for a few seconds, making him appear almost angelic. “I’ve been thinking about it.”

“Okay.”

“It’s got to do with you.”

“Figured as much.”

Harry giggled, looking down at his hands where they rested between his legs, sliding his thumb along his other. “You’re very smart.”

“Thank you.”

“Smartest person I know.”

She couldn’t help but smile at the compliment. “I doubt that.”

He pursed his lips as he thought. “You do that a lot.”

“What?”

“Doubt yourself.” He stared back at her, moving a little closer so their sides were flush against one another. “I think you’re great. I’ve never doubted you.”

They stared at each other for a few seconds, neither knowing what to say as the world around them seemed to disappear completely. For a single moment, it looked like he was going to tilt his head to the side, almost as if he were getting ready to study her like he had done at Porthgwidden. He stopped himself, staring back at his hands.

“I don’t have any cucumber left,” Harry mumbled, this made Y/N giggle a little. “This ain’t gonna end well for me tonight if I don’t get that cucumber.”

Y/N giggled some more, bringing her hand to her mouth as Harry looked at her again, his crooked smile appearing on his face, dimple showing.

“What?”

“Doesn’t sound like you’re talking about a cucumber when you say it like that,” she said.

“What then?”

“Well… what’s kind of shaped like a cucumber?”

Harry furrowed his brows, thinking hard.

“You have it, I don’t.”

“A cock?” Harry mouthed, looking absolutely gobsmacked that Y/N would suggest such a thing, which made Y/N laugh again.

“Yeah, dildo or summat.”

“Y/N Bernadette Angelica McKay,” Harry gasped, shaking his head as his eyes fell on the road through the window beyond Y/N. “Saucy git.”

“You started it.”

“Well, you made it sexual.” Harry crossed his arms, pretending to roll his eyes to make Y/N laugh, which worked effortlessly. “Wouldn’t mind a dildo, not gonna lie.”

“Harry!”

“What?! It’s the truth!”

Y/N laughed again, watching as Ellie and Jo jumped out of the car once Fatima stopped it, waving at everyone before they started walking in the same direction. Fatima started the car over again just as Jo stumbled and almost face planted, making everyone in the van – including the two outside – crack up. Y/N settled into her own seat, looking down at her thighs as they drove off again, giggling a little to herself as she replayed Jo’s near-death experience in her head.

“I…” Harry started, and when she glanced up at him, he was smiling that very small smile back at her. It was barely there, making his dimples show ever so slightly, and it made every single butterfly in Y/N’s tummy flutter their wings madly. “I love the sound of your laughter.”

Y/N felt her heart skip a beat.

“It makes me happy.”

She knew that if she continued to look at Harry and he continued to look at her, she would just start feeling more for him. Though she knew it was inevitable, she would fall in love with him sooner or later, she wanted to slow the process out so that she didn’t end up spending too much time with him while she loved him.

“When you said you watched Angus, Thongs earlier, it kinda shocked me a bit,” Harry admitted, talking as if it was all part of his stream of consciousness. “Not that I think you’re innocent or anything like that, you don’t seem innocent- and when I say it like that it sounds weird.”

Y/N bit her lips together, trying not to laugh.

“From what I’ve heard your parents were very strict so…” Harry shrugged his shoulder, looking away from her again. He tilted his head a little to the side as he caught eye of Amir in the front. “Amir! Oi! If you throw up in my van I’m gonna murder you!”

“Shut up, Haz,” Dax groaned. “Y/N, why the fuck is your boyfriend so loud when he’s plastered? Bloody hell.”

“I’m not loud, I’m passionate.”

“About Amir not throwing up in your car?” Dax rolled his eyes. “Brilliant.”

Fatima stopped the car, shouting at Dax to get out and help Amir home. Dax slowly walked around the car and took Amir’s arm over their shoulder, the two walking off as Amir started singing a song that had been sung right before they left the farm. Fatima sat there and watched the two walk up the street, making sure they got inside Amir’s place where Dax would kip before she started driving towards the lighthouse.

The three were quiet for the last part of the drive, Harry seemingly about to doze off all of a sudden, humming Ultraviolet under his breath as they started driving up the gravel path to the lighthouse. Y/N just barely saw the light of the lighthouse before it disappeared, but did not pay any more notice to it as Harry leaned over her, glancing out the window as if to see his house. Once Fatima stopped the car, Harry reached for the seat buckle, fumbling for it in the dark before he finally got free.

“Help me inside?” he asked Y/N, making her lose her words a bit at first in surprise, but she quickly loosened her own seatbelt as Fatima turned around, about to jump out of the van as well.

“Just gonna help him get to bed, it’ll take five minutes,” Y/N told Fatima as Harry slid the backdoor open, getting out of the car.

“Ten if can force a cuddle out of her,” Harry said, chuckling a little to himself as he watched Y/N get out of the car and close the door behind her. She only raised her eyebrows at him, holding her hand out for his keys, which he gave her eagerly. She wanted nothing more than to cuddle him for ten minutes, she’d take cuddles for one minute if that’s all she got, but she knew he was only saying it in front of Fatima to make her believe them even more. He took his time walking to the front door, as if to drag the time out, while Y/N walked on inside, turning the lights on for him. It took some time for him to get his shoes off and while he did that, Y/N looked through his fridge, not seeing any cucumbers but a few tomatoes could maybe do as post-party food.

Harry put his rucksack with his camera down by the sofa, strolling over to the bathroom to do whatever he needed to do. Y/N put the tomato on the counter, making Harry a glass of water like he had made her last time and putting that along with the tomato on the dining table. Once he walked out of the bathroom, he rubbed at his eyes, giving Y/N a smile as their eyes met.

“Are you staying?”

“No, I… I’m going home with Fatima.”

Harry nodded. “You two…?”

Y/N chuckled some, feeling her cheeks get a little hot as she shook her head. “No, we’re friends. I’m kipping at hers.”

“Okay, good.” Harry nodded, biting the corner of his upper lip as he said, “I don’t like it when you’re alone.”

“Why not?”

“Because of what you said about your dad, that he was a bad man and all that.”

Y/N felt a sort of panic rise in her chest and she looked out the still open door, seeing Fatima sit by the stone fence circling the lighthouse, watching its lights. Harry yawned, lying down in his bed and glancing over at Y/N, his eyes trailing down her body. She felt herself blushing, both because Harry was staring at her like that and she did not want to talk about her dad, especially not while Harry was drunk.

“Can you stay?” His voice was soft, speaking with a meaning that went beyond the cottage and tonight.

“I’m going with Fatima.”

“I want you to stay, flower.”

She wanted to lay down next to him, slide her hand through his hair and watch as he closed his eyes, smiling ever so slightly and humming in total and utter contentment. Fall asleep next to him, feel his breath on her skin again, know that he was there to protect her if anything were to happen. She suddenly remembered how safe she had felt waking up here, how she had never slept as good as she did that single night she spent at Harry’s cottage. Never again would she feel like that, Y/N realised. Once she left St Ives in a couple of weeks, all the safeness and the sense of belonging would be ripped away from her. It would surely be like someone ripping off her arm.

Harry sat up in his bed as if he sensed a shift in the air around them, looking up at Y/N with slight worry but also a sort of desperation, silently asking her to please consider his offer. God, in that very second, it was very hard to resist him. Because when he looked at her like that, so attentive, so devoted to everything she did, she simply wanted to do nothing but lay down next to him and do what he asked. But she couldn’t, and with each passing second where they just looked at one another, the tension between them grew and she felt goosebumps up her back. She cleared her throat some.

“You wanted to tell me something earlier, was that it?” Y/N asked, wanting to get them talking about something else.

“What?”

“In the van, when I entered it, you said you had something to say, what did you have to say?”

“Oh,” Harry said as if suddenly remembering. He glanced away suddenly, scratching at the back of his neck. “No, it was… I wanted to tell you that… I know we haven’t spent much time together since the whole… since Terraland… last Saturday- so like, a week ago…”

She nodded, encouraging him to keep going.

“I’m sorry for that. I don’t… The last thing I’d ever do is hurt your feelings or make you uncomfortable.”

“I know, Harry.”

“I just…” He watched her, taking in every single one of her movements as if he would forget what she looked like when she left. “You and me, you know… we were sitting there together and… you were so pretty when we sat there at Porthgwidden, I couldn’t… I had to kiss you. Spur of the moment kind thing, I suppose.”

Y/N did not want to look at him, did not want to hear him say anything else. Had all the nice things he had said at the beach also been just “spur of the moment” then? So nothing was real? Not that she had thought it was, but that kind of just underlined it, didn’t it? She didn’t know what to think anymore, everything was so blurry, nothing seemed to really make sense. Everything was for the fake relationship, it always was.

“Y/N!” Fatima called from outside, Y/N glanced at her. “Say goodbye so we can leave!”

When she glanced back at Harry, Harry seemed to get a little desperate, not wanting her to leave just yet. But Y/N couldn’t stay.

“Y/N,” Harry said, maybe realising that what he’d said might’ve been a bit much. “I-I didn’t mean it like that.”

She gave him a smile. “We’ll talk soon, yeah?”

Harry just nodded, and she walked out the door and toward Fatima who was smiling at her. With one last glance over her shoulder, she saw Harry in the window over his dining table, looking out after Y/N and Fatima as they walked along the gravel path toward town. His hand was resting by the tomato she had laid there for him, hoping that it could somehow be a good second to his usual cucumber tradition after nights out. Y/N crossed her arms over her chest as a slight cold breeze blew past them and Fatima audibly shivered.

“Yeah, would you look at that,” Fatima said as Y/N glanced her way. “Left me out in the wind, you did. Now I’m freezing.”

Y/N laughed, nudging Fatima’s shoulder with her own. The two friends went on back to Fatima’s place, acting as two old friends would.

Monday, 3 August

This was the first time Y/N had ever witnessed rain in St Ives since she arrived in June. It was not pouring down as one would assume after a long drought, a slight pitter-patter fell onto the grass around her as she walked along the gravel path, falling onto the hood of the yellow rain coat she was wearing. The sky was a dull grey, not something one should be worrying about, but there were a few darker clouds hovering somewhere in the horizon and she was sure that with this high of a temperature and the promise of pouring rain later on, lightning would occur as well.

Once she reached the lightkeeper residence, she knocked three times, waited a minute for Harry to open, then peeked her head in when he didn’t. Harry was sat by the dining table, looking through an instruction manual in front of him, frowning down at the pages as if he was reading a language he did not understand. At the sound of the door opening, he looked in Y/N’s direction, giving her a little smile.

“Saw you approach just now,” he said before looking down at the manual before him again.

“So you didn’t bother opening the door for me?” she asked, smiling over at him, but Harry did not answer. This was what she had been afraid of.

Ever since the karaoke and barbeque night at the farm, Harry had not met her gaze. Whenever she had come over to study, he wouldn’t spend too long in the cottage with her and he would rarely make her tea as he usually did. There was something not subtly cold, but different. He still welcomed her to sit in his windowsill and would still talk to her, but he wouldn’t look at her, wouldn’t stay around for long enough so they could talk properly. Y/N had tried, even suggested they go down to the Bakery to buy a pasty and walk around St Ives, go to the Candy Shoppe, or to the pub to have a few pints, but Harry had turned down all her offers, told her they could do it another time. He never really gave an explanation for why he didn’t want to hang out and Y/N was afraid of asking for one. But they had to talk. She didn’t want to go on like this, especially when Harry had come to mean so much to her.

“What’re you up to, then?” She took her coat and boots off, walking over to where Harry was seated by the dining table.

“I’m about to change the bulbs before it starts getting dark out and the lamp’s turned on,” he explained, furrowing his brows as he ran his finger over the page, concentrating on reading a specific line. Y/N stayed silent as not to disturb anything. He got up from the chair, sipping the last of his tea before he shoved the manual down in the back pocket of his denim shorts. He slipped his red knitted jumper over his Elton John tee shirt, the same one he had given to Y/N to wear after Dax’s birthday party when she slept over for the first time.

“Can I help?” she asked, giving him a smile she hoped he’d lay his eyes on her to see.

And he did, lips parting a little as if he was surprised by the suggestion. This puzzled Y/N as she had always expressed her willingness to help him, no matter what.

“Go on, then.” Harry nodded. “Just needed a cuppa before I started, it’s well past 6 after all.”

“You’re going to bed soon?”

“Yeah, and the lamp gets turned on in about an hour.”

Y/N smiled as he walked past her. “You’ve been procrastinating all day, have you?”

“Not all day.”

She laughed and she thought she saw the flicker of a smile on Harry’s lips at the sound.

“I’ve done other things as well, but I need this done now and quickly.”

Y/N nodded, putting her rain boots back on as Harry got his trainers on, the two then jogging in the direction of the lighthouse as not to get soaked in the rain that was starting to fall harder around them. Harry held the door open for her, then locked it once they were both inside. They started their ascent, Harry leading them past his little office floor, past the bedroom like room, up and up and up, till they finally reached the bell room. Even though Y/N was wearing a short white sundress with her green oversized boxy high-neck jumper along with her mid-calf black rain boots, she walked up the ladder leading to the bell room. She remembered how she had been reluctant to walk up wearing a dress that first time, but now she didn’t really care. Harry needed to change the bulbs and she said she was going to help.

Along the way, Harry had brought a toolbox with him, placing it up on the floor of the bell room before he walked up the ladder, letting Y/N go on up after him. For some reason it shocked Y/N when she came up to see that the lamp – the only thing inside the bell room – was not moving. She had imagined that the light in lighthouses moved around, and though Harry had explained what offshore and shore-based lighthouses were, the pattern of a lighthouse and the like, he hadn’t really explained how the lamp worked.

“It doesn’t rotate,” she said, walking up to the relatively small lamp in the middle of the room.

Harry was rummaging through his toolbox, stopping momentarily as he glanced over his shoulder at Y/N, unsure what she was referring to first, then let his eyes fall to the lens. “It flashes.”

Y/N furrowed her brows, walking around the lens to get a good look at it, studying the ridges and different colours of it, blank and red. “flashes?”

Harry pulled a screwdriver out of the toolbox and started working on the screws around the lamp. “It’s to identify it when it’s dark out, sailors can’t make out the white lighthouse when it’s night-time.”

“Makes sense.”

“Most lighthouses, especially shore-based ones like Clodgy, rhythmically flash or eclipse their lights to provide an identification signal. The particular pattern of flashes or eclipses is known as the character of the light, and the interval at which it repeats itself is called the period.” Harry tipped the plastic lens to reveal the five lightbulbs under it; Y/N was surprised to see it wasn’t made of glass. She supposed it was more convenient. “Essentially, a lighthouse may display a single flash, regularly repeated at perhaps 5-, 10-, or 15- seconds intervals. This is known as a flashing light. Clodgy is one of them.”

“What are these then?” Y/N asked, pointing to the red streaks.

“Basically, if someone is on sea and they are driving in the direction of sharp rocks or land, they’ll see a red light flashing instead of a normal, yellow one.”

“Danger, danger.”

Harry reached into his pocket, pulling out a box and putting it on the little space underneath the lamp.

“How many bulbs are there?” Y/N asked, looking at the different ones all attached to a round object in the middle of the lens.

“Five, they usually don’t have to be changed out. You gotta do so every 15-25 years, depending. This little thing-“ Harry pointed to the small bulb between them. “Lights up 15 miles using these lenses. It’s incredible.”

Y/N looked up at Harry, seeing a tiny and amused smile on his face as he talked. This was the most she had heard him talk in over a week; it made her heart do a silly fluttery thing.

“When one of these five bulbs go out, the apparatus knows that the bulb no longer works and it will rotate and-“ Harry placed his finger on the side of the bulb, rotating it to the right so that the apparatus turned, clicking as another bulb fit into place at the top. “-Click to a new bowl, it’s on automation and all that. So, we rarely change the bulbs.”

She bit her bottom lip as she watched him, not able to help herself. It was just so endearing to watch him like this, so amazing to hear him talking so unfiltered to her again. Right then, talking about bulbs and apparatuses and what not, he was so engulfed, so eager to tell her everything, that he did not care how he sounded. He was comfortable. She could tell.

He must’ve noticed how he rambled off, because he cleared his throat and stood up straight again, running a hand through his hair as a slight pink colour appeared in his cheeks. He quickly started to change the first bulb, putting a new on in its stead. Y/N just watched him, finding the sound of Harry working, the slight clicks, the quiet patter of the rain against the windows surrounding them, very relaxing. He seemed to be relaxed as well, so she thought this might be the best time as any.

Inhaling slowly, she leaned her hands on either side of the slight counter the lamp was standing on. She looked over it at Harry, his bottom lip between his teeth as he put the second bulb in its new place.

“Harry, we…” she started, swallowing thickly. “We need to talk about… things.”

Harry sighed. “Yes. Yes, we do.”

Knowing he felt the same way about that made it easier to breathe for a reason. At least she wasn’t going into this the same way she had been going into the Emilia situation after Dax’s birthday.

He started on the third bulb as he started talking, beating Y/N to it. “I, uhm… I want to tell you about my dad.”

This came as a shock to Y/N who was left raising her eyebrows at him for a second or two before saying, “Yeah, alright.”

He glanced up at her over the lightbulb. “You didn’t see it coming?”

“We’ll talk about your dad first,” Y/N gave him a reassuring smile. “We have time. We’ll always have time.”

“But that’s the thing…” Harry trailed off, switching out the fourth bulb, not meeting her eyes. “We don’t. If there’s one thing we won’t always have, it’s time. There won’t ever be enough time spent with your loved ones, there just won’t. No matter how much time you spend or how much time you spent with someone, you’ll always want more time. Always. What you got is never enough.”

The rain outside fell a little harder against the windows of the bell room, the wind a little harsher.

“Two years ago, my dad went on a fishing trip. He usually did this, took a few of his mates and then set off out wherever. They were never gone for more than a day tops, they always returned at night with tons of fish and I remember how Jessa would be so delighted and then invite our whole family over for barbecues and the like.” He paused as he started on the fifth and last bulb. “One day, September 4th to be exact, he didn’t return. Jessa and I sat up for hours waiting for signs of him. She started calling the spouses of the others on the boat, no one else had returned either.”

Y/N absolutely hated that she knew where this was going but she hadn’t told Harry that yet.

“Dax ended up sleeping at the lightkeeper house with me for a month and some after that, just didn’t want me to be alone, you know? He’s sound like that.” Once he was done putting the bulb in place, he reached for the lens and put it back where it belonged. “I think most of my mates and the people in my family’s life tried to keep our minds off it, ‘cause the more days went by, the more likely it was that… you know… he was dead.”

Harry sighed, reaching for the screwdriver, taking a little pause in talking as he screwed everything back into place. Y/N took a few steps back, watching him do his job and make himself ready to talk again.

“The boat was found October 14th, no one and nothing was in it.” Harry still wouldn’t look at her, put the screwdriver back in the toolbox and kept his back to her for a few seconds before turning around again. The bell room was starting to get relatively dark; she supposed the light would turn on soon, and she could barely make out the slight glassy expression in Harry’s eyes.

“I went absolutely mad. There are big chunks of time that I don’t even remember from that time, my brain has just… erased it from my memory, it was the darkest period of my life. They didn’t find any of the passengers’ bodies, there were three of them as well. It had been a turbulent and stormy night, so a sea storm took them out, drowned them all. But I… I…” Harry inhaled hugely, breathing shakily. “I didn’t… I still kinda don’t want… want to believe it. My dad is laying somewhere, far away from me, far away from Jessa, Gracie, from… from home…” He looked down at the ground, blinking rapidly. “It doesn’t fucking feel real. It’s not supposed to happen. This… He was a good sailor; he didn’t drown at sea.”

Y/N felt something starting to sting behind her eyes, she bit her bottom lip to stop it from wobbling. The storm outside seemed to pick up, sounding rougher than a minute before.

“I took over after him because I thought… I thought that, if no one else could, I could help him find the way home. I could shine that light; I’d take care of the lighthouse till he came back home. I’d show him the way, I’d light up the path for him, and he’d come home to me again. Where he belonged, where he should’ve been all along.” He took a deep breath, slowly looking up again, eyes falling to the lamp in the middle of the room. “It was a way for me to ignore the fact that he was truly dead. He wouldn’t come back. I didn’t really… I didn’t realise how… I didn’t realise how true it was that my dad, my constant, was gone, until Emilia left as well.”

Y/N furrowed her brows, a sort of rage filling her again. She had never been this angry before. There was something burning inside her, a sort of desire to protect Harry from everything evil in the world. No one deserved to hurt, but Harry least of everyone.

“I met Emilia at one of Astronaut Lions’ gigs the year before. I remember standing at the bar and she came up to me, asked me if I was Amos’ son – that’s my dad’s name, by the way - to which I said yes, and she told me her dad used to lend my dad and his mates his fishing boat sometimes. My dad and hers knew each other. So, we got talking, and, I want to say it’s ‘cause our dads knew each other, we got pretty close, pretty fast.”

Talking about Emilia brought Y/N’s gagging reflex into full force, but she composed herself.

“When my dad died, she was around, but not as often as Dax, Amir, Jo, Fatima, Ellie, or my family. She visited and stuff, kept me occupied, but the gang spent a lot of time at my place, occasionally rotating. It was nice, I didn’t want to be alone. I love being alone, but I didn’t want to be alone with my thoughts then.”

Harry leaned against the window, eyes falling to the floor. Y/N continued to stand where she had, watching Harry carefully.

“We had been together for a year and some then. We hadn’t really fought much, I don’t really like confrontation, it makes me very uncomfortable, so I usually just let her say what she wanted to say if she was annoyed with me and didn’t bother arguing. Fatima kept telling me how unfair it was on her and our relationship, and also on myself, that I never really stood up for myself when we fought. It’s, like… I wanted it to work out so much that I wanted to ignore the things that didn’t. I didn’t want to do something that might cause us to break up.” He sighed heavily. “We were good for each other, we did have some good times, and she was my first ever proper girlfriend that broke my heart, but… but these last few weeks I’ve come to realise that she never really wanted what was best for me the way all my mates did.”

Y/N wanted to walk over to him and hug him. She wanted to console him; tell him she was there if he needed anything.

“I don’t spend a lot of time thinking about that part of my life, you know? I’m aware that breaking up with someone ‘cause they’re bad for your mental health is valid, but what she did really affected me. It made the grieving process worse. I had never really felt truly alone till then.” He furrowed his brows some. “I didn’t have dad; I didn’t have Emilia… I knew I had my mates, but… Emilia and dad meant so much to me, losing them both in such a short period of time… broke me.”

Y/N swallowed a lump in her throat, hoping he couldn’t hear how sad his story made her. “Harry, you don’t have to elaborate if it’s hard for you.”

“No, you deserve to know. Emilia’s back, you’re my… my supposed girlfriend and you… I want you to know.”

Y/N nodded, clutching at the hem of her jumper.

“I know it was a naff move on my part when I went with her to get her that cup, I know I should have understood why you were rightfully upset right away, I know I shouldn’t have been too friendly when she came to Terraland…” Trailing off, he balled his hands into fists at his sides. “The reason why I’ve been so reluctant to push her out of my life is… I know it’s fucking mental; I know I sound right mad, yeah? But… I figured that if she could return, then maybe… then maybe dad…” Harry didn’t finish, but he didn’t have to.

Y/N shook her head as the only thing in the bell room that was audible was the sound of the rain and wind outside, sounding eerie and strong against the top of the lighthouse. “It’s not mental. It’s a very valid and normal reaction to grief, clinging onto the last shred you have of someone, hoping that one day they might come back to you.”

Harry looked at her feet, not ready to meet her eyes yet.

“My dad and I have never been close. I used to love being around him when I was little, I remember associating him with goodness and warmth. He would play with me and make me laugh, do things that my mum hated him for.”

“Like?”

“Throw me in the air, let me jump from a bunk bed and onto the mattress on the floor below, that sort of thing.” Y/N almost smiled at the memory. She hadn’t thought about that in ages. “However, as I grew up, my dad just got colder. He was still nice to me, was still protective and a dad, but he wasn’t the same.”

Y/N could tell by the slight breath Harry inhaled that he wanted to ask what changed but stopped himself. She was grateful he did. She could not go that far just yet.

“But… though it’s not the same as you, I respected my dad’s wishes to stay in Winchester and do as my mum; become a stay-at-home mum who didn’t need education or anything like that. He wanted me to marry well and learn how to be a mum; learn how to be safe at home and mostly indoors at all times.” She furrowed her brows some. “I believed him when he told me I wouldn’t be fit to become a dentist.” She paused for a moment. “You know when you’re scared, and you believe every word your parents say to you ‘cause you don’t know what else to do? They’re older, wiser, got more experience, so of course they know better than you, they know the best thing to do in any given situation.”

Harry nodded slightly.

“Before… Before I came to St Ives, I hadn’t really parted from my family at all. It wasn’t really like I had a choice. They were just always there, and I was expected to be there, too. I was terrified when I left; not only didn’t my parents know I was leaving, but I had just disappointed them in every way possible anyway, so I… I couldn’t stay there.” Her eyes fell on the lamp that yet hadn’t turned on.

Harry cleared his throat, eyes still on the lens in the middle of the room. “Your parents don’t know you’re here?”

“They do now.”

“You told them?”

Y/N felt her heart pick up its speed, she swallowed thickly, continuing to avoid Harry’s eyes. “What I’m trying to get at is that I haven’t, and probably won’t, tell them about the UCAT, or the fact that I’m trying to become a dentist. Part of me wishes that I did, but I know the reaction I’m gonna get… And the other part of me… That part is longing for that loving and warm father to return, the one that helped me fly when I was little.” She leaned against the window. “It’s not the same as you by any means, but it’s-“

“-It’s just as valid, Y/N.”

She shook her head some, looking out at the tall waves below. “You ever get the feeling that, no matter what, you won’t really be good enough, and you settle down with that thought? It’s not this hopeless feeling, but rather you’re just… content with that. You’re average so you’ll get average back.”

“You’re not average.”

She looked over at him, and for what seemed like the first time that day, their eyes met.

“Did your parents make you feel that horrible about yourself?”

Y/N crossed her arms. “In what way?”

“That you were average? Not destined for good things? That you didn’t deserve proper happiness?”

“I was satisfied with life in Winchester.”

“Satisfaction and happiness are two vastly different things.”

It seemed like he wanted to take a step forward but stopped himself, taking a deep breath before settling against the window again. Y/N pushed slightly away from the wall, standing closer to the light.

“It’s like the whole thing with me and Emilia again, innit? There were times when I was happy with her, but I think that’s more to do with the fact that I knew she was there. I could always rely on her. But bottom line is that being with her didn’t bring me instant and constant happiness like-“ He stopped himself, as if remembering there were things he wasn’t supposed to say. “She didn’t make me happy like she should’ve. I was satisfied.”

“Isn’t being at peace good? If someone or something brings you peace, isn’t that good?”

Harry shrugged his shoulders some. “There are different kinds, though. Your life and the people in it should be able to make you feel something, you know? Not being excited to see someone or to be somewhere or to do something, it does nothing. You don’t grow if you’re satisfied ‘cause you’re not moving, you’re not evolving.”

“Being happy isn’t a constant, though. You can’t always be happy, sometimes you’re just… not.”

“How boring would life be if you felt the same way, did the same things, saw the same people every single day? How boring would it be without change?”

Y/N felt herself smiling. “You’re a lighthouse keeper, you do the same things every single day.”

“I don’t, though,” he said. “I might be stuck here in St Ives most of the time, but I never do the same thing every single day. And besides…” He trailed off, biting his bottom lip some. “Besides life’s been anything but ordinary lately.”

Y/N glanced at her arms in front of her. “I… I hated change.”

“You don’t anymore?”

“To a degree,” she said. “I’m happy with the decision I made to leave my old life behind, but now… now I don’t really know what to do. I’m going to apply for University, but what if I’m too old? I’m 25, way older than everyone else there will be, and I… I dunno. I feel like I have to figure myself out all over again now that I don’t have my parents around me anymore, it’s like I don’t know who I am. Once this summer is over and I leave St Ives – ‘cause St Ives, you, and everyone here, are genuinely what’s keeping me together right now – I… I dunno how I’m going to survive. Will I have myself when I don’t even know who I am? Is it too late for me to get a fresh start? Who- Who will be there to help guide me in the right direction if I have no one in my life?”

There was no trace of hesitation as Harry said, voice deep and low, “You’ll always have someone.”

“Will I? I feel lost, Harry.” She blinked a few times, hoping to prevent possible tears from falling. “I’m so lost. Where do I even go from here? I don’t and can’t go back to how life used to be, where do I go?”

“Don’t go.”

She glanced up at him, the lamp beside them suddenly coming to life with a massive blink. Though the suddenness of the light had scared her, Harry’s words had been what got her heart racing. The light blinked in the direction of the sea, the other side from where they stood so Y/N couldn’t see it directly, only the dark back that was facing the mainland. However, she could not care less for the light as Harry stared back at her, right into her eyes, for the first time in what seemed like forever. She felt herself relax at the sight of him, but his words still reverberated through her head, making it spin slightly.

“What?”

“Don’t go,” he repeated, stepping away from the window. “Stay.”

Her arms fell to her sides. “You… You want me to stay in St Ives?”

It took a few seconds, as if he was building up the courage to say something he thought was obvious, but, seemingly, not so obvious to Y/N. “Yes.”

“But I…” She trailed off, blinking a few times as if she were trying to regain composure. “You’ve never said.”

“’Cause I’ve always been afraid of your reaction.”

“My… my reaction?”

“If it would scare you.”

“Why would that scare me?”

“’Cause someone telling you they care for you more than… more than they care for anyone else, and you not feeling the same way… I don’t want to scare you.”

Y/N was sure she had not heard him right. And if she had, she must have misinterpreted his statement, because surely he had not just said what she thought he said. The light blinked its usual pattern, lighting up the darkening bell room as the two just stood staring at one another.

“I thought you only felt like that for Emilia.”

Harry frowned, shaking his head as if what he’d just heard was absurd. “Emilia?”

“Well, then… then that you used to feel like that for her, that you two used to be close. I’ve been jealous of that, after all.”

“You’ve been jealous?” Harry’s eyes were wide, intently staring at Y/N as she continued to explain. “How do you mean?”

“Dunno…” Y/N said, knowing that she probably sounded like an absolute plonker. “You’ve always seemed pretty caught up on her. That you still have feelings for her.”

He studied her, mouth falling shut as he let his eyes scan her face, saying a soft, “I don’t.”

“But- But why do you blush when she’s around, then?”

At the mention of him blushing, a red colour appeared in his cheeks and he glanced away for a few seconds, running his hands through his hair. Y/N could not help a small smile on her lips, biting at the corner of her mouth to stop herself from doing so.

“I get flustered, don’t I? It’s not like I can help it,” Harry explained, gesturing at his face as he took a few steps forward. “She’s my ex, it’s weird being around her.”

“You act so shy, though. Isn’t that how you are around people you’re nervous in front of?”

“I acted like that with you as well, did you notice?”

Y/N felt a breath hitch in her throat, something about Harry admitting this made her entire body hot. Part of her did not believe this could be true, it was just too good, while the other urged her to keep going, see what happened next. She shook her head slightly. “I-I dunno.”

“I was so bloody nervous,” Harry said, chuckling a little to himself. “It was genuinely hard for me to form sentences ‘cause I didn’t want to make a right twit of myself, yeah? I just… I wanted to impress you so bad, but it was so hard.”

She pressed her lips together, heart hammering hard, hands feeling clammy with anticipation.

“I’m not nervous around you anymore, though.”

“You’re not?”

“No.” He shook his head. “I feel safe with you now. I don’t care that I make a fool of myself ‘cause you won’t mind.”

She smiled a little. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” He gestured around him with a soft jerk of his chin. “You’re a light room.”

Y/N wanted to ask him what he meant by that, but stopped herself when their eyes met again. She wanted to walk to him, to be near him.

“It’s like…” Harry started, pausing for a few seconds before he went on. “It’s weird being around someone you thought meant a lot to you and you realise they didn’t. But with you… that’s…” He glanced at the ground again, tugging at the hem of his red jumper. “It’s different.”

She continued to just look at him, afraid that if she said anything he would stop.

“It’s… it’s like I… like-“ He cleared his throat, suddenly blushing uncontrollably, and it was as if he knew how ridiculous he must look because he let out a small laugh. “You were the prettiest woman I’d ever seen and I wanted to impress you, I didn’t want to embarrass myself and have you not want to be around me anymore.”

His eyes fell to her feet, moving up over her bare legs, landing on her tummy as he continued to find the words lost somewhere within him. He took a deep breath.

“I’m not good with words, so explaining how much you mean to me is hard, but I know that I… that you…” He drifted off again, meeting her eyes. “You were the person I wanted to be in the arms of at Terraland, when I was all shaken up ‘cause of that ride, not Emilia, no one else but you. And you’re the only person I want to be in the arms of right now, tomorrow, and probably every single day after that. I like it when you hold me, when you’re around. That’s all I know.” His eyes fell to her lips for a second, meeting her eyes as if he remembered that was forbidden territory. She had said as much. “I like it when we touch, everything seems at once much simpler but also so much more important and grander because of you.”

Biting her bottom lip, Y/N walked closer to Harry, and at the sight, he took two more steps closer as well, meeting right beside the lamp that was still occasionally lighting up the bell tower and the entire coast along with it. Standing right there in front of one another, something that could only resemble magic passed between them and circled around them, drawing them closer to one another. They were meant to be close, meant to be right here, with one another. It was wrong to be anywhere else than with Harry. She didn’t feel as lost when he was here; there was a sense of reason, of purpose, when they were together that was so great to the point of invention, there was no other way of explaining it. This, what was between then, was beyond anything. Limitless, unfathomable, immeasurable; infinite.

“I want to touch you,” Y/N said, her voice almost a whisper as she, once again, glanced at his lips.

“Touch me. Please.”

Slowly and gentler than she had ever been before, she placed her hand to his cheek, thumb stroking over the slight stubble before she slid the tips of her fingers to the back of his jaw and then forth again. He closed his eyes, leaning into her.

“Please, touch me,” he repeated, the breath of his pleading words falling against her hot wrist. “Never stop.”

She studied his face, loving the calming effect she had on him because it matched the one he had on her. Though he made her heart race and had her overthinking everything, he calmed her down and made her feel at peace. Exhilarated her and confused her; overwhelmed her and elated her. He made her feel everything all at once, and Y/N thought at last, wasn't that what love really was? When you felt like the feelings inside your body transcended everything, made you see everything around you in a new light? When it changed your world for the better?

Y/N’s hand slid down Harry’s cheek and his neck, and at the change, he opened his eyes to look at her again. She took another step forward, leading him toward her as her eyes fell to his lips, meeting his eyes as they hovered dangerously close to one another. The light blinked on and Y/N pressed her lips against Harry’s. They melted into each other instantly. Harry placed one of his hands to her neck and the other one to her hip, bringing her closer. She breathed against him, the rest of the world around them disappearing completely as they drew out the kiss.

His tongue traced her bottom lip, making a shiver run up her spine. Gently, she slipped her tongue into his mouth, making sure she did not overwhelm him, that it was okay. He instantly complied, stroking his against hers, swirling his around hers sensually, lighting Y/N on fire. She moaned into him, gripping at the hair at the back of his neck as their mouths opened wider, welcoming more of the other to enter and entrance them completely. She ran her other hand over his chest, wrapping it around him, while Harry’s slid down along her back, stopping just before he reached her bum, squeezing her a little as if he wasn’t mentally ready to go down there just yet tonight. The bell room continued to illuminate up, shining its guiding light out across the ocean, helping sailors home and to their final destinations. However, neither Y/N nor Harry could even remember where they really were as they continued to kiss one another. She felt his moan on her tongue, a slight whimper that he had not been able to hold back as they deepened the kiss. They instantly got more frantic; desperate, harder. She pushed against him more forcefully, wanting to taste and feel all of him.

For an instant, and what felt like for the first time since they had known each other, Harry took control. He pressed her against the bar with the lamp, keeping one hand on her neck, thumb at her chin, and the other on her waist. She gasped at the suddenness, her entire body aflame as Harry kissed along her jaw, tilting her head as to get better access. She could not help the contented sigh that left her lips, pushing him even closer to her, wrapping her left leg around his right one as to ensure he did not step away from her.

He whispered her name against her neck, leaving wet kisses along the skin that was exposed and that he could reach without removing the high neck of her jumper. He kissed the tip of her jaw, sucking lightly, and she could not hold back her whimper. It seemed to have had an effect on him that she herself had not anticipated, yet absolutely adored. Between them, pressed against her tummy, she could feel him. It seemed to have startled him as well, maybe not having anticipated it to happen that quickly, but he kissed along her neck again, seemingly not really caring anymore. He wanted her to know just how much power she held over him. He came back to her face, lips hovering above hers. They panted against one another, not letting each other go as the rain outside picked up, thunder rumbling in the distance, and the light that Y/N was pressed up again kept lighting up the ocean ahead.

“I, uhm…” Harry stared down, swallowing thickly. “I’m sorry ‘bout… that.”

Y/N smiled, shaking her head slightly. “Don’t apologise for that.” She brought her leg further up, twining it more around him to bring him closer. As if it was instinctual, Harry reached for her thigh, helping her bring it up to his waist. She let out another sigh, loving how he drew closer to her in the process of yanking her leg up higher. Their eyes met again, and she leaned her forehead against his.

“I thought we agreed on a ‘no kissing rule’,” Harry mumbled, lips brushing against hers as he spoke. “I thought you didn’t want to kiss me.”

“I want to kiss you; I just don’t want it to be part of our fake relationship.”

“This has nothing to do with that.” He moved to kiss her again and spoke against her lips. “I need to ask you, though, before anything more happens.”

She watched him, the sight of him slightly blurry but she did not care.

“There’s… There’s a bed… downstairs if you'd be interested in… you know…”

She smiled.

“In what?”

Harry smiled, giggling a little as he leaned his forehead against hers again. “I don’t want there to be mixed signals, so I’m just… I’m just gonna fucking say it.”

“Say it.”

He gripped her knee tighter. “Do you want to have sex with me? ‘Cause I… I mean, it’s not the sexiest way to go about it, just asking like that, but I… it’s very obvious that I would like- very much like to… you know, if you’d like. I don’t want to-“

She chuckled and Harry stopped talking, smiling at her. “I think asking is very sexy. Mixed signals aren’t sexy.”

“You’re right.”

She leaned in, pressing a light kiss to his lips.

“Flower,” he mumbled, voice rasping ever so slightly, making heat instantly pool between her thighs. “Would you let me make you feel good?”

“Do you think you can?”

Harry met her eyes, a crooked smile coming to his lips. “I’ve had no complaints before.”

“No complaints from Emilia?”

A slight furrow appeared between his brows before it lifted, his smile came back and it got wider. “You really were jealous of her.”

“She got to be close to you.”

“Well,” Harry said, eyes fluttering to her lips. “You’re close to me now. You’re closer to me than anyone’s ever been before.”

Y/N squeezed him closer, biting her lip before she said, “Yes.”

“You… you want to go downstairs?”

“Yes.”

Harry’s smile grew so wide it was hard for him to fight just how giddy he was getting at her words. He stepped away from her, taking her hand in his. They left the blinking bell room, climbing down the ladder, Harry securing the hatch before he turned to face Y/N again. Once they were in the near darkness of that room, they kissed again, desperate to feel one another again. This happened almost on every single floor – pressing each other up against a wall, needy to feel, to taste, to be close – as they could simply not help themselves.

Once they reached the floor, Y/N instantly recognised the door and where they were headed. On her first trip to the lighthouse, she had seen a bed in that room, the door had been half open, but Harry had closed it on their way down. Now, Harry opened it for her, letting her inside. It was tiny. A twin bed stood at the far end, its white sheets made neatly over it, while the desk – which stood perched right under a small window that was being attacked by harsh rain - was filled with photographs of Harry’s family. Him, Amos, Jessa, and Grace. There was a dresser with a vase on top, a bouquet of dead flowers in it that it seemed Harry had forgotten completely about.

Harry closed the door behind them. “This used to be my dad’s room. When it was stormy, he’d stay in here. The door sometimes opens on its own, logically I know it’s just a draught, but…” He shrugged his shoulders and Y/N knew what he meant.

Instead of focusing on that – because they could talk about this in the morning – Y/N said, “Kiss me.”

Harry wasted no time. He marched over to her, pressing his lips hard against hers as he started walking her backwards toward the bed. He let her lay down first, taking her rain boots off before she wiggled up to the top, watching as Harry crawled his way up to her, hovering his lips over hers as to tempt her. She tried to lean up to kiss him since he was taking too long, but he moved further away.

“Twat.”

He chuckled, grinning down at her. “How long do you think you can stand not kissing me?”

She brought her hand up to his neck, bringing him down towards her lips. They kissed again – finally. She felt Harry smile against her lips.

“Needy.”

“You were taking too long.”

“You just can’t get enough of me, can you?”

She wanted to roll her eyes at him, but he was correct. She wrapped her legs around him, bringing his core down onto hers. Harry groaned into her; his erecting cock pressed against her heat. He melted into her instantly, burying his hands in her hair.

“Neither can you,” she whispered back, making Harry let out a breathy chuckle.

“I also just want to make it clear,” he said against her lips. “If anything I do is not working, doesn’t do anything for you, doesn’t feel good, or if you want to try something new, a new position or anything like that, tell me, yeah?”

She smiled, nodding her head as they kept kissing. “Yeah. Same goes for you.”

“Do you have a favourite position?”

Y/N froze a little, thinking to herself and blushing when Harry looked down at her.

“What?” he asked.

“I’ve… only ever really done two.”

“Two… positions?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s fine, did you enjoy them?”

“Yeah, I did. Sex was never really been about enjoyment as much as it was about closeness.”

Harry furrowed his brows. “You should enjoy sex, Y/N.”

“I know, I know. I just… I used to set fire to myself to keep others warm. I realised that was not what I should be doing, which is why I ended up in St Ives. With you. Here.”

Harry leaned down again, pressing a lingering and deep kiss to her lips. “You will enjoy yourself and feel real fucking good tonight, yeah? We’ll find something that works for both of us.”

She smiled. “Time will tell.”

“What do you mean?”

“If I’ll feel real fucking good.”

Harry halted a little as he heard that word slip from her lips. He had never heard it before. She felt the effect it had on him against her. “I’ll show you, flower.”

He reached down to the hem of her jumper and the two got it off her, throwing it to the floor before they started kissing again. She wrapped her legs around him again, resting her heels at the top of his bum, urging him closer to her. Slowly and deliberately, Harry grinded against her, revealing them both of a small fraction of pleasure, increasing the anticipation that was building in the air around them. Hard against her most delicate spot. She felt a desperate need to reach for him, to feel him right there, as ready for her as she was for him, but she liked this much better. Feeling him moan against her, the slow waves of his hips as he stroked his growing erection against the heat between her legs that was aching. His promise lingered in the back of her head, making her nipples perk at the thought. You will enjoy yourself and feel real fucking good tonight.

Harry’s hand slipped down the front of her white summer dress, lingering over her breast where he felt her already hard nipple. He squeezed her breast, bringing what he could of the nipple between his index and middle finger, squeezing lightly as he started kissing down her jaw. An uncontrollable moan left her mouth as he kissed her neck, chest, between her covered breasts. She felt hot all over as he kissed his way down, leaving no spot untouched by his swollen lips. He reached her thighs, kissing up her right one, leaving wet spots that got cold in the crisp air of the lightkeeper room.

“Turn over,” he said, sitting up on his knees to make the process easier for her.

She did as he told her to without hesitation. Again, he leaned over her, nose nuzzling her hair as he kissed her exposed shoulder. Each one of the kisses he trailed down her shoulder place, and back felt like a declaration of love; felt like a promise of forever, of safe keeping. Right in that moment, she realised she had never felt more appreciated or more turned on. She felt so seen, so important, as Harry kept kissing her back, sucking on her skin, humming moans of absolute delight into her that made goosebumps appear all over her. He reached for the zipper of her dress, kissing her shoulder before he whispered, “Okay if I undress you?”

“Please.”

Harry unzipped her dress, leaving a lingering kiss to her shoulder as he shoved both the straps off her shoulders. She took them off, letting the dress hang loosely over her breasts. Just because she felt like it, she lifted her arse off the bed, pressing it against Harry’s hard-on. It took him off guard and he gasped a little into her ear, but quickly took a grip around her waist. He pressed down hard on her, parting her bumcheeks as his protruding cock could now be seen, and felt, outside his denim shorts.

“Fuck,” he breathed as he grinded against her. His hands slipped down further, hovering over her centre, laying a slight pressure on her over her dress and knickers that was exactly what Y/N needed right then.

“Harry,” she whimpered, feeling him moan at her utterance.

“Dreamed about you saying my name like that,” he mumbled, kissing her shoulder again. “Sound even fucking better than I could’ve imagined.”

He placed more pressure on her, making her gasp and throw her head back slightly, leaning it against Harry’s beside her. They grinded against one another, absolutely lost in this seductive dance that they would have no problem doing forever. Panting a little, Harry kissed her shoulder again, knowing that they could not go on like that, no matter how much they wanted, because he would surely not be able to handle much of it before finishing. The heat between Y/N’s legs was excruciating, she could barely take it as Harry pulled her dress completely off her, exposing her naked back to him.

“On your knees.”

She did as he demanded, getting on her knees in the bed as Harry positioned himself right behind her. He ran his hands over her wet knickers, wanting to properly feel all of her now that he finally had her there. It sent a lightening up her spine, making her moan as he reached her bud, flicking it slowly. He kissed the outside of her knickers before he ran his tongue over her, the hot wetness of him on her made her gasp, sweet torture that she both welcomed and hated. Hooking his fingers under the hem of her knickers, he slid them over her bum and down her legs, and. Again, she felt cold as her wet skin was exposed to the chill room they were in, Harry’s ragged breaths didn’t exactly make it better. She whimpered slightly as she felt his breath go from cold to hot, she could feel the heat of his body radiating against her cunt and bum. With help of her hands, she raised, looking over her shoulder at him to see him there, only his eyes visible as he hovered in front of her.

“You’re so fucking beautiful, Y/N,” he whispered, planting a kiss to her bum before he went back to the place she had just been. “I’ll make you come, flower.”

“Actions speak louder than words,” she said, panting slightly in anticipation.

Harry smiled at her, she thought she saw a slight wink before he hovered back over her centre. She was about to tell him to just get on with it when she felt his tongue, hot and wet and hard, between her folds. She gasped again, closing her eyes at the impact. He licked up between her folds first, making sure to taste every last bit of her as he had thought about this for so long. He started off with a light pressure on her clit, licking around it, sometimes over it, driving Y/N absolutely insane. He slowly built up the pressure, making sure he did not overwhelm her, staying focused on the clit the entire time. He wrapped his lips around it, sucking lightly, something that made Y/N throw her head back, letting go of a loud moan that had Harry humming into her.

“Yes,” she gasped, fists buried in the white sheets under her.

He let go of her bud, licking up around the clit again, then over it, flicking it quickly while tipping his head to the side. She bit her bottom lip, looking over her shoulder at Harry as he continued to eat her out, eyes closed as if he was eating the feast of his life. Once again, he wrapped his lips around her clit, sucking lightly at first and building his pressure. Whimpering and panting, Y/N kept looking at Harry, the sight of him behind her like that, doing everything in his power to make her feel good – and succeeding – was so bloody hot.

When she had made her way up here today in the rain, she had never in her wildest dream this was where she would end up. On all fours, Harry seated behind her, eating her out. She had thrown away any hope of him even feeling a smudge of what she felt for him, but tonight, up in the light room, everything changed. Everything they said, and how they opened up to one another. She felt quite literally euphoric; static with adoration and completely engrossed in everything he did.

Harry moved up, slipping his tongue inside her hole, hands sliding down her thighs as he penetrated her. She swallowed thickly, biting at her bottom lip before she met his eyes.

“Doesn’t do anything.”

“Hm?” He moved up, eyes wide as he licked around his lips. “My tongue in you?”

“Yeah. Feels like you’re mushing mash into me.”

Harry laughed, resting his forehead against her bum as he shook, she chuckled as well.

“Don’t hold back,” he said.

“Sorry.”

“No, I’m glad you told me, flower.”

“Also,” she said as he started licking her again, she gasped slightly. “Can we switch? I want to watch you properly.”

Harry blinked slowly, smiling at her as he emerged. “Gladly.”

She turned around, placing herself on her back, Harry stopped to take her in, eyes gliding over her naked body in front of him. He cupped her face in his hands, kissing her deeply as he ran his hands over her tits, squeezing them just hard enough before he lowered them and himself. He positioned himself exactly where he’d been, spreading her legs wider for him.

He sucked on her clit again, this time pushing a finger into her. She instantly moaned loudly, burying her hands in his hair. Harry wrapped an arm around her thigh, holding her in place as he continued to lick at her clit, curving his finger ever so slightly as to make her feel the best she possibly could. She squirmed under him, her orgasm coming on much faster in this position than the last, streaming down her legs, her torso, towards the centre between her thighs where Harry was sucking at her most sensitive spot, pounding his finger into her. She tugged at his hair as she could feel it coming on closer.

“Harry,” she moaned and at once he reached up outside her thigh, cupping her breast in his large hand.

He ran a thumb over her nipples as he flicked at her clit, finger still buried inside her, watching as she started moving and panting and whimpering more and more. He moved his finger faster and sucked her bud, which was exactly what Y/N needed, she cried out, moving her hips with Harry’s fingers. He squeezed her breast, and she met his eyes, seeing his dark green eyes under his long lashes, drinking in the sight of her. He suddenly hit a spot that had fires erupt in her lower tummy. Y/N gasped and let out another loud moan, whimpering under Harry as he licked and fucked her through her orgasm. She did not take her eyes off him and he did not look away from her, ordering her to keep watching till she was completely down from her euphoria.

Y/N was sprawled out panting, smiling as Harry came up to hover above her. She took a grip of his neck, kissing him deeply. He tasted of her.

“I’ll go get a condom in the cottage,” he mumbled. “I-If that’s alright with you, of course. We don’t have-“

“-I want to.”

“Alright. Brilliant.” He stumbled as he got up from the bed in a hurry. “I’ll-I’ll be right back, yeah? Don’t move! I’ll-“ He looked over his shoulder as he stood in the open doorway, a huge sigh leaving his lips as his eyes wandered over her naked body. He shook his head slightly, letting out a chuckle of disbelief. “Fuckin’ hell,” he mumbled before running down the stairs and out of the lighthouse.

It did not take long for him to come back, condom in hand and panting as if he’d been sprinting back and forth. He closed the door again, placing the condom on the corner of the desk beside the bed, crawling back over her again.

“Been away from this for too long,” he mumbled, running a hand over her curves. “And your tits are bloody fantastic, by the way.”

She laughed at him, swatting his shoulder as he reached for the hem of his jumper and tee shirt, bringing both over the top of his head and throwing them to the floor.

“I’d been looking forward to doing that,” Y/N said.

“What, undress me?”

“Yes.”

His eyes seemed to darken a bit. “Take off the rest.”

And she did. Keeping eye contact, she reached for the front of his denim shorts, undoing the button and unzipping him. His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed, the slight pressure and caress of her fingers against his anticipating and hard prick seemed to do more to him than she thought it would. She hooked her finger around the band of his shorts and boxers, wiggling them down his hips till they were far enough down for him to do the rest. One hand supporting his weight, he used the other one to help her take his clothes off, but her eyes fell to his cock immediately.

It wasn’t like she had thought of it before. Yes, she might’ve had some dreams and daydreams involving Harry and her doing some very filthy things, but she hadn’t really let herself think about his prick. But there it was, and she felt absolutely giddy with anticipation now. She wanted to have proper sex with him; she wanted it so, so bad.

Harry reached for the condom, tearing it open and putting it on, hand sliding down his shaft and to the pubic hair at the very bottom. Seeing the slight trail from his navel and down to it made her mouth water.

“You alright?” Harry asked, that crooked smile on his lips making Y/N’s cheeks heat up. She was already flustered all over, she did not need him looking at her like that. He knew she had been looking and now he was taking the piss. As usual.

“How do you want me?” he asked, voice husky.

She bit her bottom lip, cocking her head to the side. “I dunno.”

He groaned, hovering closer to her lips. She felt him against her sensitive spot, making her gasp. “What can I have?”

She tugged at the hair at the nape of his neck. “I want to be on top.”

That crooked smile came forth again, his dimples deepening. “Yes, ma’am.”

Taking a grip of her waist, he rolled around, making her lay on top of him. His head was on the pillow, right where hers had just been, so Y/N sat up. She took a grip of him, making Harry’s lips part at the impact. He gripped her thighs that were straddling either side of his hips, squeezing her lightly as encouragement. She sat up, bringing him to her, sliding him over the wetness he had caused. He let out a shaky breath, looking to be just as nervous as Y/N felt. She slid down onto him slowly, Harry’s eyes fluttered shut.

“Fuck,” he hissed, and Y/N gasped again.

“Harry,” she said, a little breathless already. “I’ve… I’ve never been on top before.”

He smiled. “That’s fine, here-“ He placed his hands on her hips, urging her to move. She followed his lead, biting her bottom lip hard as her clit rubbed against his pelvic area. “That’s it.”

She continued to grind against him, moving her hips as he was instructing her. Placing her hands on his chest for support, she started moving a little hard, with a little more purpose, Harry’s hands on her thighs a grounding and intense pressure.

“Keep doing that,” he encouraged, letting a moan slip from between his swollen lips. She rolled her hips, loving the filthy sounds they made as the rain kept on crashing against the window. They continued to look into each other’s eyes, not daring to look away as if it would bring them back to reality. Because this was too good to be true. Never before in her life had Y/N felt like this. She felt powerful as she rode Harry, felt a sort of strength in her that had never been present before. It had never been like this with Dominic; it had never been this intense. He hadn’t demanded she order him around, hadn’t been willing or suggested to try new things, hadn’t really done it like this. Harry looked at her as if the world revolved around her alone. As if the centre of the solar system was right here, and he was watching the sun about to eclipse, watching one of the most beautiful and magnificent moments in time. He gripped into her with feverish hands, coming with suggestions every once in a while, always letting her know just how good she was making him feel.

“That’s right,” he moaned as she moved her hips in circles. “Right there. Don’t stop.”

That might just have been the sexiest thing she had ever heard along with his moans. She continued doing exactly what she was doing, feeling her entire body heating up as she could sense her second orgasm that evening. Thinking about it, she wasn’t sure she had ever come twice in one night before. Maybe it was Harry, maybe it was the moment, maybe it was the fact that her and Harry were finally letting their guard down, admitting that there was something else between them besides their fake relationship. People who fake dated each other did not kiss like that, they did not have sex, they did not look at each other like it was all they wanted to do for the rest of their lives. No, this was more than what they had let on. Way more.

Harry sat up, making Y/N fall against his chest as he bent his knees ever so slightly. He placed one hand on her bum and the other on the mattress behind him as to help him move more swiftly. With each stroke over him, Harry thrusted back into her, rubbing at her bud each time and making everything around her seem much more colourful.

“Like that do you?” Harry asked, mouth parted as he panted into her wet lips.

She nodded her head, taking a grip of his shoulders to better move her hips. They moved together, looking into each other’s eyes as the rest of the world disappeared completely around them. The rain, the thunder, the buzzing of the light from upstairs turning on and turning off, it was all tuned out. Harry leaned down, placing one of his hands on her left breast to kneed it seductively. He kissed from her collarbone and down to her breast, sucking and nibbling lightly on her skin as he made his way to her nipple. Sucking it lightly, he looked up at Y/N who was squeezing his shoulders, telling him to keep going. Electricity shot from her tits and down her spine, heating up the fire that was building in her core. He closed his eyes as he sucked and kissed her tits, humming into her and making her moan time and time again. It felt so fucking good. Though she moved a little awkwardly, though they made some sounds together that made both of them laugh and heat up, though they were still trying to figure out what the other liked, this was still the best either had ever had.

As he was closing in on his finish, Harry wrapped both arms around her, bringing her closer to him. They kissed, desperate pleads and whimpers left each of their mouths as everything started setting on fire. Harry moved his hips with her, she tried to continue to move hers along with him, her hips shaking a little with the effort. Harry’s lips parted completely all of a sudden, a furrow appearing between his brows, and she felt it. He twitched against her and she continued to grind her hips, moving him through his orgasm. Looking deep into her eyes, he seemed to completely melt away when she kissed his bottom lip, sighing against him as she herself started getting closer to her second orgasm as well.

“I’ll help you,” Harry said. “I’ll use my hand, if you want?”

“Yes, please.”

He removed his cock from inside her, meeting her eyes as his thumb circled her clit again. Y/N gasped, gripping both sides of Harry’s neck. His lips parted at the pressure, grinning up at her. He brought his other hand forward, slipping his index and ring finger into her while his other thumb continued to flick at her clit. At once she moaned, looking into his eyes as this brought her closer to her climax, fast. She moved with his hand, moaning louder and louder as the fire inside her tummy intensified, feeling even greater than the time before. Harry curled his finger just as he leaned down, sucking on her nipple again, looking up at her through hooded eyes.

Everything exploded and she threw her head back, unable to stop herself. The sound of Harry pounding into her at a fast speed, wet and filthy, echoed through the room with her exclamation of euphoria. Harry continued till she was completely done, watching her as she closed her eyes, breathing heavily above him. Gently, he removed his fingers from inside her, bringing them up to his mouth to lick them clean just as she opened her eyes again.

Y/N felt at peace. Her heart was still thundering away inside her chest, her soul was still intermingled with Harry’s, and they would not let go of one another. They didn’t need that lamp, they didn’t need a lighthouse, they could light up everything on their own. She was sure that at some point tonight, while their bodies grinded together and worked toward climax, they had lit up like the sun. What was going on between them, the cellular reaction, the emotional connection, the physical attraction, it all equated to something. It had to. What this was, was greater than either of them individually. This would forever be marked on their souls. Meeting Harry, spending this summer with him, it had shaped her into a brand-new person. That was, Y/N reminded herself, what love was all about after all. Change for the better.

Harry got a cloth not long after, helping clean Y/N up before they both slipped under the duvet in the lightkeeper room, squished together as the bed was way smaller than what they were used to. Harry ran his hand from Y/N’s cheek and up to her shoulder, his eyes following his hand’s movement.

“I fucking worship you, Y/N,” Harry mumbled, the rain still pouring outside. He caressed his fingers gently over her jawline.

She moved closer to him, wrapping her arms around him. They both closed their eyes and Y/N felt sleep coming closer. She felt so incredibly content, cuddled up to Harry and with the storm raging outside. A couple a seconds away from falling asleep, Harry started whispering against her forehead.

“Play fair with my heart, yeah?” It seemed like he thought she was asleep. That it was safe to say this. “’Cause I’m gonna fall in love with you. You don’t have to love me back, but I’m telling you now, ‘cause it’s inevitable, at one point, I’ll love you. Madly, truly, completely. Just… please… break my heart gently.”

Before she was able to form any sort of reply, she fell asleep.

A/N: If you wonder what the melody Harry wrote for that day spent in St Austell with Y/N and Gracie sounds like, I imagine it goes something like this 🥰

NEXT UPDATE: Sunday, 25 October, 9PM GMT!

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A HUGE thank you to my amazing and beautiful beta readers! 🌊 @aileenacoustic​​​ 🌊 @bopbopstyles​​​ 🌊 @fromyourstrulyh​​​ 🌊 @harrys-shrooms 🌊 @honeydearly​ 🌊 @summerfeelng 🌊 @watermelonsuger​​​​ 🌊  @withallthelove-a​​​​ 🌊

[iwadori]

Hiiii can i request prompt 53 with tsukki? My annoying cousin u may know @chibiiichan(i cant tag her its a surprise) recommend ur account and well she never been right more than now I LIKE UR ACC TOO URM JUST TAG HER IN THE POST (bcs its actually her birthday next week monday so....the least i could do this bcs she likes tsukki and shes recently talk abt the iwazumi story of yours....lmao shes cringe but in the same time got mad n i was besides her hearing her whining like bruh 'its 1 am'...i know i should buy something for her but she got spoiled enough 💅...that mf-) thank you ✨

‘ALWAYS AND FOREVER’

TSUKISHIMA X READER

2K WORDS

GENRE: ANGST,FLUFF

TW: SLIGHT AMBIGIOUS MENTION OF SUICIDE/ASSISTED DEATH, AND DEATH, CURSING (IN MY A/N)

THIS IS FOR @chibiiichann Happy birthday, I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS (BECAUSE I HATE IT :D ) SOOOOO YEAH I HOPE YOU ENJOY YOUR BIRTHDAY.

NOT PROOFREAD AT ALL. EXPECT SLIGHT MISTAKES

You were dying. You knew it. Your husband, Kei, knew it. Even friends you haven’t spoken too since high school knew it.

So why did you all pretend that everything was okay?

5 year old Y/N:

You were running around your neighbourhood park chasing after butterflies, without a care in the world. As you were frollicing in the grass, you manage to trip over a rock tumbling to the ground scraping your knee making it bleed. Looking down at your slightly injured knee, your lip begins to quiver which eventually leads to wails of tears streaming down your face.

“you don’t have to cry you know?” said a slightly quiet voice towering over you. Above you was a boy, quite tall with a fat pair of glasses, golden eyes and a head full of blonde locks.

“Well when I get hurt, I cry” you say matter oh factly (is that the phrase?) rubbing your nose as you sniffle. He held out a hand to you, which you immediately took shooting upwards and brushing yourself off.  

The boy, after looking at you wildly, turns around and walks back to the actual park. “Oi wait,” you call at the boy swiftly following him “aren’t you going to ask my name?”

“no.” he says simply, proceeding to walk ahead.

“well my names Y/N L/N pleasure to meet you,” you say jumping in front of him so he doesn’t move, waiting for him to tell you his name...which he doesn’t. “you don’t have to be so rude you know”  

“I’m not being rude” he says stiffly “ it’s just my brother says not to speak to strangers” a smirk appears on his face to say ‘you can leave me alone now.’  

As if on cue, his brother approaches the both of you given the boy a slap on the back making him cringe “Hey Kei, who’s the friend you’ve made here?”  

“My name is Y/N L/N and I'm here to be KEI’s best friend!” you said putting the emphasis on the word Kei after just learning that was the blondes name.  

Kei rolled his eyes and sighed saying “nii-chan can we go home now” he folded his arms in annoyance.

“No Kei, you’ve got to get to know your new found friend Y/N-Chan right?” his brother said teasingly, knowing it was the last thing Kei wanted to do.

“Yes ofcourse!” you say with a toothy grin, dragging Kei along with you to his demise.

Until the sun went down, you spent the rest of your time with Kei getting to know eachother (well him getting to know you more, since you did all the speaking.) Regardless of his previous annoyance in getting to know you in the first place, Kei would be lying if he said he didn’t want to know you now.

As the sun was setting, Kei’s older brother (who’s name you learned was Akiteru) called him to tell him he had to go home because dinner was ready. Before he left, you grabbed his hand and wrapped your pinky finger around his saying “As long as we shall live, we will always look out for eachother as we are forever bestfriends, agreed?”

back to present -  

In some odd way, this was Kei’s way of looking out for you. He knew what you had was uncurable and would weaken you even more as the days go by, so pretending like nothing was wrong seemed to be best in his eyes.  

Everything you and Kei did was a game or some nostalgic act that you once did when you were children. It was sweet to say the least, seeing Kei all engrossed and determined to make you happy.  

Your alarm rings snapping you out of you daydream, ‘it was time for medicine’ you thought with your face scowling at the thought. Immediately on time, as always, Kei comes In the room with all your medicine thats needed.

“Aren’t you my perfect little nurse Kei” you say teasingly giving him a wink, laughing as you see his face turn red.

“Do you have to do this every time y/n?” he asks rolling his eyes at your childish behaviour.

“Oh I'm just showing love to my best and favourite nurse” you continue laughing at your own words

“Im your only ‘nurse’” he deadpans giving you your medicine as you talk.

“Well that is more reason to make you the best nurse.” you say smiling.

Silence falls between you, and you stare down at your arm watching as your husband gives you the medicine making you frown. “Do we have to keep doing this?” you ask which is probably the 1000th time you’ve asked.

“Of course we do Y/N as I’ve said yesterday and the day before that and the day before that it-”

“But do we really?” you interrupt “I can’t keep doing this. You can’t keep doing this.”

“Do you doubt me Y/N, I can do this forever” he says “ I can take care of you forever”

“But I don’t wan-”

“I’m finished, I’m going to start on dinner” he gets up and leaves the room yelling “I’ll call you when it’s done.”

Sometimes you and Kei have these conversations. And all the time it ends the same way. You complain, he ignores and then you go and have dinner.

You can understand why he doesn’t want to have this conversation. Who would want to hear about their partners complaints about practically being alive. Kei was torn, ever since he met you all he wanted to was to keep you happy. But could he compromise his own happiness for it.

15 year old Y/N - flashback

“Kei Kei, aren’t you excited!” you yell smiling widley

“Excited for what?” he asks, amused by your enthusiasm “it’s just highschool.”

“Well it’s a new highschool! Karasuno high school, to be exact.”

“And that is still just a school.” he says

“Not just any! That’s the school nii-chan went too, and even tho he lie-”

“Let’s not talk about it Y/N” he murmurs “we should go now, don’t want to be late on our first date.”

Going to Karasuno was fun, at the start everyone was pleasant and nice. But after a week or two when you and Kei were still stuck to eachother like glue, people weren’t so pleasant. Kei was like a pop idol, being gorgeous and over 6ft at just the age of 15, caused alot of attention, especially when he was always around you.

At the start, the hate you got was bearable, it was the petty bitchy notes in your locker or just people blatanly talking badly about you infront of you. People didn’t do it when you weren’t around Kei, so when he had volleyball practice (which you were so excited that he joined the team) you were a big target for the bullies to come around.

Kei didn’t really know of the bullying that happened towards you, especially since he was mainly in practice or not around when it happened. But one day in practice he heard some of his teammates, kageyama and hinata who seemed to talking about a student in one of their classes that was always getting picked on by the other girls in the year.

“Yeah and I heard that Nana-san was planning on getting her and her friends to attack Y/N-san soon.”  said Hinata

“Shrimpy, who are they planning on attacking?” Kei asks to make sure he just heard the ginger correctly.

“Oh this lovely person in our class their name is Y/N-san” he says, looking at Kei’s reaction he also asks “Why? Do you know them?”  

Kei doesn’t respond, and immediately leaves the gym, ignoring Hinata’s and the other members of the teams yells of ‘Where are you going tsukishima.’ He didn’t care, he just had to get to you.  

He searched all the classes, asking every student if he knew where you were. Someone directs him to the toilets, where he burst through the door to see the other girls in your year surrounding you and beating you up.  

“What the fuck are you doing to them?” he yells startling the girls.

“T-T-Tsukishima-san" one girl says “It’s not what it looks like.”

“Oh fuck off” he says, with them still frozen in shock “I said go!”  

“And don’t think I don’t know your names either” he calls after them.

He rushes towards your bruised body on the ground and cradles you gently, confused on what to really do. “Oi Kei,” you say weakly catching his attention “I would’ve won if you didn’t come to stop the fight.” you joke making him scoff.

“Whatever you say Y/N.”

After you heal up, Kei already told on the girls that beat you up getting them suspended, and you explain how they were treating you because of their infatuation of him. And how they only did it when he wasn’t around.

Once he learns this information, he decides to quite the volleyball team, to your surprise. But you demands on making him not quit were ignored, as he excused it by saying “I have to make sure you’re always alright remember, and if that means quitting some volleyball team then so be it.”

That was one out of the many times that Kei put his happiness before yours.

Flashback over.

When you first got diagnosed, Kei was immediately researching on it as it was a very rare condition. But sadly, he only found what the doctor already told you both. It was uncurable and your immune system and your body will weaken as the days go by.

Which it did, you were a shell of your past self. It was always shocking for Kei to see, especially with you only being 25. ‘It wasn’t supposed to be this way,’ but he never let you see his sadness.

Whenever you knew Kei was sad you always reminded him “Kei, I may be dying but please don’t cry over me” every time you said, there was a slight undertone of humour in your voice which always worked in boosting Kei’s spirit.

AN: IVE GOTTEN TO THE POINT WHERE I HATE THIS SOOO IM SORRY IN ADVANCE FOR THE SHITTING RUSHED ENDING IM GOING TO PROVIDE FOR YOU LOL.

The days passed and the years went by, and you and Kei were still alive and kicking it. Doing your daily routine of you making some joke, Kei giving you your medicine and then you eating dinner. You eventually stopped complaining, realizing and remembering your promise you gave to Kei at 5 years old in that park. “As long as we shall live, we will always look out for eachother as we are forever bestfriends, agreed?”

Of course you had your rough days, everybody did and it was even harder being sick with a terminal illness. But having Kei to guide you through the storm made It better for you.

However, Kei isnt a miracle worker. He couldn’t save you, noone could. And you both knew that. That didn’t mean it made it any easier when the medicine stopped working and your pain got too hard to bear. Kei couldn’t watch you do this anymore, “the choice is yours” he said with tears in his eyes.  

So you knew what you had to do, you got in your bed pulling Kei with you, and letting him envelope you in a big hug as you both cried.

“I love you,” you say “You know that right?”

“Of course I know that, idiot” he replies “And I love you.”

“Always and forever?”

“Always and forever.”

AN: how did I END UP CRYING WHILST WRITING THIS WHEN IT MADE NO FUCKING SENSE, I WAS TRYING TO DO THIS COOL NOTEBOOK (I HAVENT EVEN WATCHED THE NOTEBOOK) ENDING WHERE ITS AMBIGIOUS AND SHIT AND I JUST GIVE UP OKAY? I APOLOGISE LOOOOOOL. I HOPE YOU ENJOY ATLEAST A SENTENCE OF THIS AT LEAST.