#i need to sleep. and process this
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i finished. catching up. ha. haha.
#OH MY GOD#OHHHHHHHHH MY GOD#WOAH. woah. going through uh. what the kids these days call Emotions#so many times they went through the horrors.. and they continue to do so... AUGH#I am going through second-hand horrors on behalf of them. what#who said that#anyway#woah haha#craaaaazy am i right#ohhhh my god...#i need to sleep. and process this#i reread from picture perfect arc so it was A Lot#i am soooo awake rn though. dear god#favourite is still kou love that guy. god does he suffer#jshk is sooooo good and for a reason#and the art is so amazing as well!!!!#sumire and hakubo's relationship also. their last moment was engineered specially in a lab for me to Think About for a Long Long Time#i'm still screaming in my head over Everything btw#ALSO the latest chapter. woah okay haha so you're just gonna do that to me huh#or in other words: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#okay it's almost 3am so I'm going to sleep goodnightttttttt#rrrramblings
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@devinsisland apocalypse AUs, but it's just chill gardening between two raids outside to scavenge seeds
#star wars#apocalypse AU#tbb#tcw#is it okay to jump into someone AU like this?#hope it's okay#Hewwwo I'm trying colors again#What is a clean coloring process#I just put colors on one layer and never clean ever#Oh my actually now I look at it I feel really bad posting this#looks like I did throw up on my screen#listen just look at it from afar if you're not happy#Sorry 99 I tried my best#sorry Tech skin tone I tried my best too#I need to sleep#I just wanted to draw a small color test#anyway bye
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i'm in your area, i'm in your area
i'm in your area, i'm in your area
i know the first three numbers, i'm in-
i know the first three numbers, i'm in-
death grips x warrior cats in such a cool combo... so many artists whose music i don't see often in wc animations for whatever reason 🙏🙏🙏maybe the overlap between cat artists and music nerd-adjacent people is smaller than i thoughr
#it's 2 30 am i need some sleep#phone drawing#death grips#i have yet to listen to the full dg catalog i don't usually check an artist's full discography very quickly i need some time to process wha#i've listened to so far#warrior cats#warriors#wc#the money store#hacker death grips#tigerstar#tigerclaw#scourge#i love scourge designs that make him look like he's witnessed horrors beyond his comprehension#love emo scourge too#rambling#music talk#art#artists on tumblr#digital art#artwork#Spotify#this was so fun to draw#i struggled with tiger's face so hard tho#noided#starlingpaw's art#music art#music fanart#music based kitties
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🐙⚔️
#new method of dining & dashing: dine and doze. sleep until they give up on u and u get out of the bill. its genius#he didnt even order a drink like silver ur bill wouldnt be too high. surely. glances at azul#im actually v curious abt the finances of briar valley students beyond malleus. like im sure lilia is taken care of from military days#but like? the guy is retired. so when did he officially retire in a 'no longer getting income' way. or do they do pensions#or did he invest. or save. does twst have 401ks. what abt roth iras. what abt etfs. money market accts? high int savings?? i need to know#did he get a bond for silver as a baby that he can take out at 18. does silver get allowance. or part time job? i NEED TO KNOW#sebek seems middle class so do lilia and silver BUT I NEED DETAILS#also in the bg pretend trey is talking to jade offscreen. and the canonicity of this drawing is after book 5#so no ortho OR sebek in freshmen squad. not yet#twst#twisted wonderland#twst silver#azul ashengrotto#ace trappola#deuce spade#jack howl#epel felmier#trey clover#suntails#i would say mostro lounge was fun to draw but i dont make a habit of lying#well i mean. it wasnt NOT fun. it was satisfying? i felt accomplished? but the process was a bit rough
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jo scores the game tying goal with 8 seconds left! ft. love, jubilation, and vengeance | sabres @ avs, 3 january 2025
#colorado avalanche#jonathan drouin#also#nathan mackinnon#cale makar#devon toews#mikko rantanen#artturi lehkonen#avalanche.gif#ok these are bad quality but i needed to gif this moment in order to be able to process it and sleep. also the video is not amazing quality#if i remake them tomorrow i remake them tomorrow#happiest i have seen both nate and tazer all season#REDEMPTION!!!! VENGEANCE!!!!! LOVE FOR YOUR NEW GOALTENDER WHO HAS BEEN INJURED!!!!!!!#natejo goal SO beautiful#and avs scoring TWICE with an extra attacker and not letting any engs in....beautiful#avs#c.gif#al62#mr96#nm29#jd27#dt7#cm8
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Probably just mangling the body to be SURE she was dead, and not doing a cannibalism. Right? Right???
First
Previous
Next
#my art#cw gore#honkai star rail#hsr himeko#hsr kafka#kafhime#i like to think Himeko programmed a little personality onto her drone#her trusty traveling companion 🥺#poor girl is not processing like#70% of what is happening#let her sleep!!!#she needs some rest 😭
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I miss my son, Tails
#it's 2:40 am#technically a WIP but screw it#mahoutsukai no yome#the ancient magus bride#joseph cartaphilus#I keep drawing him with these glowing plants because I have an AU rattling in my brain#where travelling mages come to his village and he becomes something of an apprentice even though he's not magically gifted in the same way#but he needs magical ingredients for his healing potions and mages provide (hence the plants)#and he provides with the potions in return and learns some stuff in the process#yeah I'm talking about Ľudmila and Alžbeta here who am I kidding#adopt the child!!! adopt him!!! it'd be so easy!!!#anyway#time for bed#go to sleep R
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Can’t stop thinking about Viktor and Jon parallels cause I have tma brainrot and anytime I see anything even remotely similar I go “is that a magnus reference?”
Anyways thinking about the differences in the choices they did and did not make and how both of them came back from the dead and were involved in ending the world.
I talked a bit about it before but Jon chooses to come back to life and become a monster. Granted it wasn’t a fair choice but he did choose it. Meanwhile the end of the world was not his choice. As much as he thinks otherwise it was not his fault. He didn’t “accidentally” start the apocalypse, he wasn’t “manipulated into it” he straight up did not end the world. Jonah did. Using Jon. Yes he was manipulated to prepare for the ritual (still not his fault), but actually ending the world? Jonah did that. He straight up took control of his body. Jon was the tool. The key to open the door. Jonah shaped the key and turned it.
Viktor is the opposite. He did not choose to come back to life. In fact he had basically accepted his death and was actively suicidal. Jayce brought him back (and I don’t really blame him for that. He didn’t know the consequences and he was trying to save the man he loved). Viktor did however, almost end the world (and succeeded in some timelines? I’m confused). Now it’s hard to say how much of that was Viktor. He was heavily influenced by the arcane, but Jon was also heavily influenced by the Eye (not that you can really compare them). We don’t know how sentient the arcane is but we can guess that its main goal/instinct is to spread. If it worked through Viktor or if it was simply influenced him, altering his thoughts and feelings to more easily rationalize what he was doing. Either way Viktor would not have done what he did without the arcane. But he did do it. The arcane isn’t a person. You can’t really put all the blame there. And we did see that Viktor was still in there, deep down, enough that he could change his mind. Meaning that to a certain degree, he did choose it. Viktor’s actions were his own, even if they were influenced. He’s the most responsible for what happened. Jayce also carries some responsibility for bringing Viktor back in the first place and creating hextech alongside Viktor, but again, he did not know the consequences of that. Neither did Viktor at first. So how much are they to blame?
I just find it fascinating how such similar events (even if they are still vastly different) happen in two completely different series and how the characters had different levels of agency throughout it.
#their stories end the same way too#dead or somewhere else#some of this is pretty speculative#since we don’t get much insight into Viktor’s thought process and we spend very little time with him#compared to Jon who we get to know and see change over 200 episodes#and im still fresh from watching the finale#I’ve only seen it once and still need to process what I actually think about some of it#but these two will not leave my mind#btw I’m not saying nothing Jon did was his fault#he’s done stuff that was 100% his choice#but I’m focusing on the apocalypse specifically here and that was not his fault#I really hope this is coherent#it’s almost 4am and I can’t sleep#viktor arcane#jonathan sims#arcane#arcane spoilers#arcane season 2#tma#the magnus archives#echoing thoughts
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I drew this instead of sleeping like a normal person
#i dont need sleep i need to draw#fnaf#william afton#purple guy#my art#michael afton#springtrap#five nights at freddy's#idek what the thought process was behind this#i had the need to draw a stinky rabbit
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Halfway to the sofa, they stopped, making a small sound like a grumble of annoyance. For a second, the red glow in their eye grew faint. "Sleep," they rasped out in a low, halting whisper, "I saved you an ache in the neck." It took him a second to register that the kid wasn't talking to him. Mostly 'cause Frisk didn't speak. To him. Or ever.
Sans wakes up late into the night and sees something he shouldn't have.
#red eyes and hallucinating and sleeping on my keyboard. WAKE UP. new fic droppedd#fixed up that old wip i posted and added a new bit so i put them on ao3 as well do you remember that sans & chara post i made that was like#uhhh i've got 20 bucks.#this is the fic development of that initial idea. or at least it will be. when i get to the point of actually making those two interact#anyway good NIGHT. i am going to die. i mean sleep. die as well probably. haha get it bc i had no beta#ok goodnight. peace!!!!#undertale#sans#frisk#mywriting#underfic#i promise toriel gets more space for her issues later i needed to set up a tinsy bit of helicoptering first. trust the process etc
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𝑪𝒍𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒐 ✧
✧ Regret
✧ Rememberance
✧ Reunion
✧
All men are equal in death. To Clotho, such is their reigning tenet.
And to Clotho, a man like them sheds no tear for the departed. A necromancer need not fear death, for it is a cycle devouring upon itself, and they are the ringmaster of this primal instinct. As in— need, should, must. One must not fear, one must not ache or pine or rage. A snake is still a snake. Death is still a wild animal. Show your soft palm within the ribcage of your fist, and it will not yield to you. Clotho, for all their cool expertise, knows this through trial and error.
All men are equal in death. So this mantra becomes their epitaph for every sentiment buried under the grave of their tongue.
It's a corpse beneath the floorboards; this memory. The tremble in their fingers - the shortness of breath. Their prized coherence pooling out their ears like brains on a sidewalk. Black is all they've known the world to be, but this time it is blue. Saliva spilling past the shore of her lips. Piercing red lightning streaking through the sky of her eyes. She does not respond when they shake her. By God— what have you done?
All men are equal. Their mother was no man, no monster. Mother, simple and sweet, was cruel enough to damn her. As they were.
Their tears come soft on the linen of her robes. She is softer still. The used crowd of spellbooks and artifacts and alchemical instruments behind them laugh hollow at the display. Wire is taut, so is cloth. Neither will hold them now, after destroying the muscle that stretched to cradle their wretched self. So they bind her in her day shroud. And they bury her in the belly of the primordial Mother.
On her grave, they plant a singular Asphodel. Their one specimen.
And when they shakily kneel back to look down at the mount of soil, for a moment - just a moment, their nails slip back beneath the dirt. Back to where home was.
A moment was all it took. Soon as it comes, they rip it out her shabby resting grounds and lay it on their crown. That brain-shaped gilded mausoleum of theirs. So it has remained all this while - so has she, with that memory just as equal as a dead man.
But you know they never stay where they're supposed to for long.
In the land of the dead, asphodels are for the gray in between. They are the sustenance of the dead. They are my regrets, following you to the grave. O, Mother. You raised a walking corpse. As long as I hold you in my heart, the grave goes where I go; and dead men tell no tales, so... I love you. Isn't that the worst thing you've ever heard?
#im literally fighting sleep deprivation as we speak WhILE i haggle for my documents so#if i make no sense. no the fuck i don't!!!!!!!#tldr clotho killed their mother (ex senobium mage) in a rage for ;) reasons i won't say just yet#and they could not resurrect her because their grief always impeded the process#one parallel with leander and clotho is their tight hold on their emotions#where leander runs his like a well oiled machine. clotho is - for the most part - entirely aloof and apathetic#still. when it counts. that wretched passion interferes when they need it absent the most#the asphodel they wear is the same one. they let it wilt and then they rejuvenate it over and over again#they've spent the next few years learning to resurrect beings of any and all make up. by trying to form bonds#only to break them. in every sense of the word. practice if you may; for when one day they try again to bring her back#clotho is the most mr nonchalant oc i have and yet they're motivated solely by love#maybe not a love that's soft. it's a damned and wretched it#but it's a love nonetheless#touchstarved game#touchstarved mc#touchstarved vn#touchstarved oc#clotho
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Ash via Perola Navarro's IG Story
#yes i accidentally screamed when i clicked on this we really don't need to talk about it#5sos#5 seconds of summer#ashton irwin#ashton#instagram#other ig#kh4f post#he is just sooooooo#ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh 👹👹👹👹👹🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️😭😭😀😀🥰🤩🥲😘🤪🫠💅🏻#so that's that on that#he sure has a face#it definitely has lips#and a chin that sure has a dimple#that's the last tag actually I can't do this actually#have i mentioned yet today that i got like 2 hours of sleep last night lmao#so I'm definitely in the right place to process this#godddddddd#i think in the name of self care i need to commit myself to writing again these feelings need to go somewhere jfc 💆🏻♀️
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Ask box is open and I am taking poll suggestions
#yes I made this one to be educational#we need to talk about these symptoms more#and just how disabling adhd can really be#fuck marry kill#fmk#fmk game#fmk poll#poll#polls#tumblr polls#adhd#adhd symptoms#apd#adhd apd#auditory processing disorder#rsd#adhd rsd#rejection sensitive dysphoria#intrusive sleep#adhd intrusive sleep#adhd sleep
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I need to stop finishing fics when i have to sleep. but anway. heres 1.3k words of f!chentega, plus a bit of unnamed sidestep for funsies.
Chen is cutting Ortega's hair.
They've both settled into her living room, a bottle of beer set on the table. She's buzzed, not drunk, just enough alcohol in her system to get the words flowing easier. Chen, ever responsible, hasn't touched a drop. He focuses on cutting and brushing, mechanical hands careful not to get the comb tangled in her wavy hair. Julia, meanwhile, is talking, but about what, she couldn't tell you. Half of her thoughts are elsewhere, eyes closed as she lets Chen work.
Cutting Ortega's hair has become their own little ritual. Every few months or so, whenever her hair became long enough to bother her, she would call Wei over to cut it down to length. Sometimes she returns the favour, though that mostly entails grabbing a razor and shaving until it was completely cropped. Not like this, where skills actually mattered to make the results look good.
It was suggested to her, uncharacteristically, by Chen. About a year or so after she first cut her hair, she was lamenting to him about how she missed having short hair. She was just talking– she didn't expect him to take it seriously, but about ten minutes into her rant he had looked up from where he was typing on his computer and asked, "Do you want me to cut it?"
She had given him a look. "You can do that?"
He shrugged. "I know some styles. I can make it look decent, at least."
"Are you sure?" she'd asked, still skeptical. Not that she wouldn't be grateful, but-
"You don't have to deal with the stylists anymore," he pointed out, and that had been that. She found out later on that he learned how to cut hair from his siblings. He would mostly do it on his brothers, though sometimes his sisters too, when the money was tight or his family didn't feel like heading to the stylist.
It's nice, sitting here and talking to him like nothing else matters. A moment of reprieve to catch their breath in the pressure bomb that is their lives. Julia cracks a joke, and Chen huffs in amusement, though he doesn't stop cutting. She takes another pull from her bottle.
Maybe one day she'll ask the questions she's been meaning to. They still haven't talked about whatever this is. Neither Chen nor Ortega are good with their words, and there isn't much that isn't already said by the pocket moments they spend watching eachother navigate the world. The look in other people's eyes when somebody calls Wei "he". The way the stylists purse their lips whenever Julia walks into the studio. The understanding was unspoken but mutual, though Ortega could never place what. Chen might be able to, but until she decides to ask, she wouldn't know.
She will. Someday. Just not today, sitting in front of her TV, talking about God-knows-what and content to let him work till he finally steps away.
"Finished."
She opens her eyes, not bothering to look at herself in the mirror though its propped up on the table next to the beer. They've done this enough times already that she knows it will look good. Instead, she watches as Chen puts everything away, combs, clippers, the works. She nabs the scissors from the table, spinning it on her finger. When he goes to grab them and finds nothing, he looks up and sighs, the corner of his lip twitching at her antics.
"Julia, you're going to stab someone's eye out."
"Hey, I can dodge scissors," she insists, looking at him innocently. "Can you, Marshal?"
His face is caught halfway between exasparated and unimpressed. She chuckles and acquiesces, handing the scissors for him to pack into his bag.
It's not often nowadays that Julia gets to spend time with Wei outside of the Rangers. He was always busy as the Marshal dealing with the mess she left behind, and when she wasn't busy at the HQ or fighting villains, she was twelve balls of yarn deep into her own investigations. The quiet moments were rare enough that it feels precious to watch him like this, walls down, for once without the furrow in his brow as he worked. It makes him look softer.
It makes him look handsome.
"Hey, Wei?"
He turns to face her, still holding the scissors. "Yes?"
Julia could be completely wrong about everything, of course. He could recoil the minute she cups his face, or push her away as she pulls him in. He could, but he doesn't, and his lips are warm when they meet hers. His breath tastes better than she thought. She doesn't know why she would think otherwise– Julia was the one drinking beer the whole time. She traces her thumb over one of the scars on his cheek, rough yet soft, and a part of her wonders what it would be like to run her tongue over it.
It's a beat or two before anything happens, long enough that she worries she really did misjudge. Then, ever so slowly, Chen settles a hand on her face, careful, almost afraid. Not even touching the hair he spent the past thirty minutes working on. His hand moves from her cheek down to her chin, gently tilting her head upwards to make it easier from where he's standing. Julia wraps a hand around his neck and brings him down lower, and he obliges like putty. No trace of the hard edges she'd come to see as his staple, just a tenderness she never remembers seeing in him before.
It's harder to break the kiss than she would like. Wei doesn't resist. He's still holding the scissors. She half expected him to have dropped it, but instead he's gripping them tight enough that she wonders if they'll break.
"Julia?" Brittle. Out of breath. Still looking at her lips at first, but then his eyes flit to the side of her face, and with a breath that's not quite a huff, he tucks a stray strand of hair she hadn't even noticed behind her ear.
"Thank you," she whispers, barely loud enough to be heard in the silence of her apartment. For being her friend. For being the only goddamn woman left in Los Diablos that really got her. For caring enough to keep her hair out of her face.
She says none of this. She just turns back around, not looking to see Chen's face as she takes another pull from her bottle.
———
"I think Chen has a crush on you."
"Oh." She stops, looking at you with an expression you can't quite interpret. "You do." The words are careful, hesitant. It's not a question, but it's not not one either.
"I do," you say, frowning at her reaction. It's not the explosive confusion you were expecting, more a quiet "oh, shit" moment as the ball drops. She hasn't even raised her voice yet. "I'm pretty sure he has for a while."
"Did he...tell you that?"
"Not in so many words, but he has his tells."
"He does," she mutters, running a hand through her hair. There's a sigh punctuated by a string of quiet curses.
"Did you already know?" you ask, narrowing your eyes at her. She didn't react the way you thought she would. Did she pick up on it? Has she just been ignoring it the entire time?
"In a way," she admits, looking away to the coffee machine like she wants to make herself another cup.
"Why haven't you done anything about it?" Knowing Ortega, she should've ambushed Chen the moment she suspected that was the case.
"It's complicated." She shakes her head, dispelling whatever thundercloud was brewing behind her static shielded mind, then turns back to you with a smile. "Don't worry, I'll talk to him. In the meantime, you can tell me why you're here?"
You can't help but frown. She's taking this too well for something to not be going on, but from the look in her eyes, you're not getting any answers right now.
You'll find the time to pry one of them about it. Later. It's not a secret those two can keep away from you forever.
#chen#ortega#fhr#pulp writes#genderbent fhr au#im not actually sure about the way i handled this fic but alas#the perils of trying to write something while sleep deprived#btw i need yall to know#while i think f!chen might now how to cut hair i do Not fucking trust m!chen with anything related to hair. get that man the fuck away from-#-anything that isnt a razor#i also dont know how i feel about the way i wrote ortega and chen#again. perils of constantly writing fic at like 1am#this was mostly to get my thoughts down but. guys. guys. i can make them Exes#its so hard to write somebody with (almost definitely) adhd because i method act to write and then /i/ get distracted by their thought-#-process. do you know how many paragraphs from ortega povs ive had to scrap because they kept going off the rails#because i was basically going stream of consciousness whatever came up and i was fighting for my life to keep them Contained#its so so bad.#anyway its 2am and i have to get up for a tour at 8. goodnight tumblr
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dawsons
this is just a painting of the drew and ellie picture in this drawing
#my art#fanart#inside no 9#the trolley problem#i had the physical need to draw but i didn’t want to actually make anything new. hence why it’s just taken from an older drawing#made solely so i could experience the process of making it#but might as well post it too!#this is the only thing i’ve drawn all week#i’ve been sleeping
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happy cold weather everyone!! i’ve got dry hair and dry skin and i am READY to cuddle😤😤
#wlw#worst part of being like WAY too tolerant of the cold is that i don’t process that it is cold#and my skin HATES the cold smh#barely been outside since it started cooling down#and my skin is acting like it needs to pass away smh#already had to resort to aquaphor again smh#which if your skin gets really bad in the cold i HIGHLY recommend#it’s a godsend and most years i can usually avoid any cracking and breaking now because of it😌#anyway now that the temperature is no longer unbearable cuddling is like WAY more appealing and we should all be doing it ASAP#im gay and i like sleeping
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