#so many times they went through the horrors.. and they continue to do so... AUGH

[constantlyquestioningg]

i finished. catching up. ha. haha.

[cobiehaven]

With You on Lonely St. — Yang Jeongin

SYNOPSIS; great minds think alike, they say. you and jeongin might have crossed paths in the most awkward of circumstances but maybe he was good enough to live up to your expectation level of insane.

PAIRING; jeongin x reader

GENRE; baby pinch of fluff, angst, horror, tw

WORD COUNT; 3.1k

TAGS/WARNINGS; post-apocalypse au, strangers to friends, reader lowkey got rizz with that zombie in the beginning of the story, reader lowkey a sadist..?, reader also kind of a tsundere, jeongin is kinda crazy—, jeongin and reader have major chemistry but no established or hint of future relationship, badass!reader, reader is lowkey mommy material 😳, mention of  blood, graphic scenes warning, fake background stories, not supposed to represent the real yang jeongin, lowkey hard to follow plot ???? i think ??????

AUTHORS NOTE; okay it is actually really hard to write a story that has so many background aspects and make it be interesting WITHOUT adding those aspects and making it like- a 10k story. so i’m sorry if the plot is a little hard to follow, you can improvise if it’s too hard !!!

you screamed out as you swung your axe down on the undead body below you, the tears rolling down your cheeks as you continued to beat and axe the zombie underneath you.

this was your outlet, your only way to take out all your built up feelings on the horrible things that you had been through to get here. sure, other people might have been through worse and that it might have been selfish to cry like this but y’know what? fuck them. this was your life. this is what you were living in right now. you didn’t have the time and place to worry about others.

your past explains a good deal of all the emotions and opinions you have leading up till now.

you breathed heavily as you stopped your swinging, looking down at the body practically carved into the asphalt at this point. his chest was slashed open with multiple blade markings caving into his heart, his arms and jaw were long gone, probably flew off somewhere whenever you were getting carried away with swinging. the sight of the overly burnt and decaying faces of these things would never get old to you. if somehow, the world ever went back to normal, you were sure that you probably wouldn’t even be able to look at normal human beings anymore. “augh..” the zombie below you groaned.

oh, you forgot to actually kill him.

you stared at him for a bit, your emotionless eyes watching as the poor man below you tried to helplessly go for your ankles to naw at. “tsk tsk, buddy,” you leaned down, grabbing ahold of his receding hair and lifting him up to your height. “you don’t even got teeth anymore, how do you expect to ever get a taste of your favorite flesh ever again?” you acted as if you were actually concerned for him, pouting at his rotting face as if he could actually understand what you were saying right now. he continued to try and naw at anything in his sight, in this case, now it was your face. “gosh, if you wanted a kiss that bad then you could have just said so,” you laughed. “oh wait.. you can’t,” you smirked, throwing the zombified man back onto the ground and lifting your axe above your head, swinging it down into his head. nothing could compare to the amount of joy you felt when you saw his brains split into half. and it was by your doing.

“ah,” you sighed out, standing up straight again and finally wiping the sweat from your forehead. “it’s a shame that you guys don’t feel pain.”

suddenly, you heard the shuffling of gravel rubbing against the ground.

whipping your head around, you quickly pulled out your gun from your belt, aiming it at whatever was just making movement behind you. you were surprised when you saw an unfamiliar man standing in the aim of your shot. you narrowed your eyes at the boy, his hands flying up as a gesture for no harm.

he wanted peace? no, you couldn’t trust him. you didn’t even know this man.

“what do you want?” was the first thing you asked, not finding any interest in exchanging names or getting to know each other. like you said, you didn’t have time for other people. it was silent for a little bit before he finally opened his mouth, contemplating what to say. “i saw you kill that rotter, you seemed pretty angry.” you eyes trailed down his figure, hm, he wasn’t carrying any weapons? did this guy have a death wish? that could set off many different possibilities for you that you could either interpret or misinterpret. “and? that was none of your business,” you responded. “you’re right, i just wanted to know what your reasoning was for toying with it before finishing it off.”

well, you certainly didn’t expect the conversation to start turning this way. was he asking for your entire backstory or something? why is this stranger trying to find out your entire biography? you wouldn’t even be surprised if the next thing he asks you is your age.

“are you… trying to hit on me?” you lowered you gun a little but still aiming at him, showing your visible confusion as he panicked and shook his head. “what?! no! no! no! i was just curious! believe me!”

for some reason, it felt like he was doing anything but just being curious. this guy was fucking spying on you for fucks sake.

“okay..” you trailed off. “i wouldn’t tell my reasoning to some guy i’ve never met before, so i would suggest you drop it and leave before you get the same treatment as the dude on the ground,” you held your gun up higher, his hands only shrugging up higher. “wait! can we just.. talk?” you tilted your head. “the reason i was watching you was becau-“ suddenly, he was cut off by the loud sounds of machine guns being set off in the background, the two of you whipping your heads around to try and identify where the shooting was coming from. only to be sent off sprinting down the road together when the shots landing at your feet, nearly hitting the both of you.

the raiders. a group of mistrustful sons of bitches who do nothing but steal from the hopeless and laugh at others who are of lower rank than them. if you really want to get deep into your history with them, then we can just say that you might have pissed off their leader far one too many times by being just as worse as them.

“what the fuck?! how did they find me so quickly?” jeongin shouted as he practically ran for his life. “what? they’re after you too?” you asked, remembering how your disgusting backstory ties a big part into this groups ways. you still shivered thinking about your beef with their ruler. “the fuck did you do to piss those guys off?” you asked, secondly. “oh y’know, just stole from them, killed some of them, pretended to be one of them for the food before betraying them. and now here we are.” he winked at you which had you in utter disbelief. this frail man with no sorts of weapon or stealth abilities did more than you? just who was he? “what about you?” the shots went right above your head, the both of you ducking down. “can we talk about this later?” you shouted back to him as you could hear the shots ringing in your ears at this point. the both of you ran for a while, the raiders seemingly not following after you which was a normal occurrence for your case. it was always easy to get away from their dysfunctional group just as long as you never actually got caught by them. if you ever did, you were sure that their way of torture and negotiation was not the ‘let’s sit down and have a nice little talk’ kind of way.

the both of you sprinted into a nearby store, a run down convenience store to be exact. the two of you catching your breath but still being cautious to the area around you. there could be anything lurking in here… literally.

after zombies happened, you were starting to believe shit like aliens existed.

“watch your step,” you warned to jeongin who just waved you off and started confidently down the aisles. “hey! stop! we have to search the place first!” you whisper-yelled and taking steps towards him before nearly screaming when you felt something tug on your hair. the all too familiar groan of the dead raking it’s dirty fingers through your locks had you in a panic. luckily enough for you, you somehow had come across the ace in this world.

jeongin swooped in between you and the zombie, his strong grip grabbing ahold of your hair and literally shoving the zombie off of you.

you had never felt so relieved and so disappointed to have long hair.

watching jeongin deal his way through the walker that had attacked you, you were finally starting to see just what he could do even without the use of his own weapon. he was elegant and quick with his movements, using his legs and arms in swift and equal motions to basically just beat this zombie to eternal death. not once did he seem like he needed help or even give the zombie a chance to even graze his pale skin. you wondered just what exactly this boy did before the whole pandemic went down.

“you-“ you started but cut off in disbelief once more. “you just killed that thing with your bare hands..” you trailed off as your hands were clutched to your chest. you were honestly amazed, dumbfounded, flabbergasted, floored. you didn’t have the words.

for once since the outbreak, you had never felt so… safe? of course, though, you weren’t going to admit that to him. and that still didn’t mean you trusted him nor were you going to give him a reason to think you were going to grant him that luxury any time soon.

letting out heavy breaths, jeongin then turned to you and smiled. “you should consider cutting your hair.” you gripped your long pony tail protectively. a girls hair is her pride and joy. for most, anyways. “no way!” he shrugged, “it was just a thought.”

your eyes trailed down to the crushed in body, it laying limp on the floor. “you should consider carrying a weapon,” you said, gesturing to his overly bloody hands. “i can’t believe you carry things and eat things and touch things.. with those hands, when there’s no running water.. that’s disgusting.” he shrugged once again. “they’ve never bothered me. as long as i clean them with a cloth then its fine. i know a nearby river, too.” you just stared at him for a couple of seconds before turning and searching the rest of the store. “come on! not even a thank you for saving your life?” he called out to you, a visible pout forming on his lips. you ignored him, not ever going to give him the satisfaction of a thanks. your pride was too high for that.

“care to tell me why you were spying on me?” for all you knew, he was just watching on you and now the two of you were hiding out together so neither of you got caught by the raiders. “i found your behavior interesting,” he followed your actions, going down the opposite end of the aisles. “interesting?”

there was something wrong with this guy if he thought you having fun cutting open a dead person was interesting.

he nodded as if you could see him. “the art you made with that zombie was just.. beautiful. the way you dealt with his jaw and arms and the way you spoke to him, even the way you threw his head back was so inspiring.”

did he think you were doing that to be pretty or to actually be genuine with your feelings?

if it was either, he was right.

for a long time now, you’ve loved the feeling of slinging a rotting body in your arms and splattering the blood all over, just mangling your way through deteriorating flesh, watching as it hung off or sometimes even fell off of your victims. you wanted those things to suffer the same way you had suffered back then, to feel the pain, that was the only downside to it all that just didn’t quite reach the edge for you.

if he thought the same way, then maybe keeping this boy by your side wouldn’t be so bad after all..

and if you both hated the same group of people, then maybe working together with his agileness and your strategy would make a good pairing in combat. not to mention, it would make gathering supplies much easier.

but of course, you still had your doubts… he’d have to live up to your expectations if he really wanted to stick around.

“you want to stay with me, don’t you?”

“of course i do.”

“i don’t even know your name.”

“yang jeongin.”

“l/n f/n”

“great, can we stick together now?”

he was a very persistent person but you were sure you could handle it if he played his cards right. surely he knew what he was getting himself into.

“you’re insane,” you shook your head, a small laugh coming out of you as you turned the corner at the end of your aisle. as if on cue, jeongin has also turned the corner on his aisle, but on the opposite end of the store. “you too.”

THE BACKSTORIES.

“so, you want to know my story?” you sat and jeongin nodded.

the crackling of the fire and the stillness of the night being like music to your ears as you propped one of your arms on your pulled up knee, your other hand being occupied with the brewing of the lovely yet bland rabbit stew you and jeongin managed to learn how to make over the course of these very few weeks. so fair, he has been a great asset to you, and you have been of great help to him. you could remember this one specific time when you both were able to lead a hoard of mobs into a huge deck of traps that only you and your partner knew how to maneuver through. of course, every zombie died to your work, the both of you wanting nothing more than to see the blood shed of such vile beings.

and of course, this was also all done just for the fun of it all.

great minds thought alike, they always said.

“only if you promise to tell your own.” he agreed, a small smile forming on your lips as the two of you stared at the fire in front of you. his resting legs plotted down on the opposite end of the small fire. you figured making a small one would make for less smoke as the two of you were pretty drained for the night to deal with any interruptions. “before the whole pandemic happened, i was with my family in our small town house. it was big family, mind you. probably about a family of 8 living in one small town house on a big street named lonely st.” you started. “when we heard about the outbreak starting to happen, no one wanted to believe it, obviously. until it actually happened. a lot of us managed to survive together, some of my brothers and sisters going within a short amount of time. when they were all gone, i was left alone in the house with no knowledge of how to fight or even care for myself in conditions like these. it was weeks in and i didn’t dare to walk outside my front door and see my undead family waiting for me on the infested road. but, luckily enough.. or i guess, unluckily enough, the raiders came to take care of the mess for me. they never found me but i couldn’t shake the feeling of them killing my family even if they were all already dead. the feelings got to me and eventually, i joined a trustworthy group that i could happily call my friends at the time. but of course, good things don’t always last…” you added, your eyes finally looking up from the campfire and into jeongin’s eyes. “that is when you found me, a week or two later of just rampaging my way down lonely st. doing what i do best and showing off my new skills and power,” you chuckled, his expression still seemingly unfazed.

you wondered what he was thinking.

“i couldn’t have imagined you going through that to get to where you are now,” he responded, you giving him a little shrug. “at least the raiders didn’t kill my family while they were alive, that would have been a different story.”

“why are they even after you anyways?” he asked.

“they’re just pissed off that i’m faster at raiding than them,” you snickered. “what about you?” you asked him the same question, he tilted his head.

“why are the raiders after me or what’s my backstory?”

“i did kind of ask for both.”

“you are very right”

the both of you laughed shortly before he finally broke his gaze with you, hugging his knees close to his chest. “the raiders are after me because i grew up with them.” this certainly caught you off guard. “but i never wanted to be one of them like they tried to force me to be. i only did for the food and protection. it was until i was of age that i started to rebel against them, they hated me for it, tried to beat me up for it. until i killed their previous leader. i became a run away after that.” he shrugged, not finding much in his story to be sad about, yet you were completely appalled. “if you were with those machine gun loving warlords, then what is your reasoning for not carrying a weapon?” you asked him, after all of this time with being with him, you had never seen him carry an actual weapon until it was something he knew he was going to need for one of your future traps. he shrugged again, “i hated using them when i was with the raiders, i find it way easier to use my hands. i’ll use a gun if it means i’ll be stuck in a place that i can’t stand my ground.”

it was silent for a bit, you tried to take in all of the information he was telling you. the mood was dampening, your backstories were sad, how could you find something to lighten the mood after that?

then suddenly, you thought of something.

“if you start carrying a weapon, then ill let you cut my hair,” you looked up at him, his eyes meeting yours, widely. “what? really?” you nodded.

it was a deep decision to consider.

both options were beneficial to the both of you.

after long thought, he got up, making his way over to you and helping you onto your feet, his fingers intertwining with your fingers. “then promise you’ll teach me how to do that cool tripping trick you do with the knife?” he proposed, a small giggle coming out of you.

“of course.”

“good, now turn around and lets get to work.”

© cobiehaven 2023

[butterflyinthewell]

Dad took some steps today. He needed the therapist right there because he was so off balance that he would’ve fallen without support along with his walker. One of his feet is curling sideways and inward because he hasn’t been putting weight on his feet. That will be a problem and he may need a brace to straighten that out. It’s related to the whole “don’t use it and you lose it” aspect of Parkinson’s disease, and I was afraid of this.

I hope he gets to walk again as much as he could before because he will be stuck in one room for the rest of his life if he doesn’t. I think that’s the one incentive that makes him want to get back on his feet. My fear is he will then proceed to get up at night like he was doing when he got hurt in the first place. He still keeps mom awake till 3 and 4am because she’s a people pleaser who will give until she’s dead. Black hole people like my dad love finding bleeding hearts like my mom.

I’ve told mom to just put her foot down and go to bed, but I stayed up once to see what really happens. Dad whines and complains if mom says she’s going to bed. Suddenly he will want to be put on his bedside commode (which takes forever and then you wait for him to go and heave him back into bed), or he will want a sandwich or just anything that makes mom have to be busy on his behalf until she’s wide awake again when she was sleepy enough for bed before.

Just...AUGH...every good thing always comes with shit right behind it.

I think I’m going to ask my counselor or psychiatrist if there’s a way to screen for ptsd. My mental health is in the toilet and I’m having bizarre dreams and nightmares several times a week. My sleep is disrupted now, and that’s never been a thing for me. I’m constantly hyper vigilant. I’m having anger outbursts and the kinds of thoughts that intrude upon my mind are horrible.

If something happens to mom, I am helpless in all the issues that matter. Food, I can figure out, but I’m worse than useless for everything else. I cannot move dad to his commode or wheelchair, and he needs some support to move onto them. I’m too small, he outweighs me by over 100 pounds.

Most of my bad dreams are things happening to my mom, or there’s word that something happened and I can’t get any info on if she’s okay or not. Another kind I have is I’ve contracted COVID, or someone who comes in to see us has it and spreads it, and I’m the only survivor. Other dreams are the body horror type where I amputate my own body parts with a saw and hand them to people because I feel useless. I had one recently where I literally ran up to Hannibal Lecter with a knife and fork and told him to eat me, but he took the silverware away and wouldn’t do it because “no, you’re not rude.” I said I was, but he wouldn’t do it. I was so angry! I was angry about that dream all day!

I don’t believe I deserve anything good and I don’t see myself as a good person. I don’t deserve help.

I’m scared a lot. Just...I can be sitting here watching a cute kitten video on YouTube or eating dinner and get hit with a wave of fear.

None of this is how my mind usually works. I’ve never been in mortal danger(recently), but I’ve had my routines and life disrupted to such severe degrees that I feel like I’ve lost control of my life, and to me that’s almost the same thing as dying. I’m autistic, and autistic people are more prone to trauma from ‘mundane’ things that a neurotypical person wouldn’t flinch at.

I’m just worried the “not life-threatening” aspect will immediately disqualify a diagnosis.

In June 2019, I went into burnout after home health visits for dad threw all my routines away and they’re still getting destroyed by it because they can’t keep a consistent fucking routine.

July that year was my dad getting his DBS batteries replaced. It was sensory hell because I got my period the day of the surgery and spent the whole time nauseated and cramping, but being silent about it...only to get called selfish and horrible for mentioning how bad I felt after we were all home again. (Outpatient surgery)

September 2019, mom’s gallbladder almost blew up and she was rushed to the hospital. I was alone with dad, without warning, and had to function using emergency reserves that I didn’t have because I was in burnout. I ran around terrified that any mistake I made would get me screamed at by both my dad and sister. Mom was out of the house from Friday to Tuesday. Dad did nothing but demand and demand from me and yelled at me for melting down. I was almost out of meds and for awhile didn’t know if or when I would get them. I had to grocery shop with sister’s help and she kept getting upset at me for arranging the cart like mom did, and I ended up forgetting things I needed even though I had a list right in front of my face the whole time. I was that out of it.

An aid had to come bathe dad because mom couldn’t do it for at least six weeks. That happened whenever someone could come, so dinner, my showers and mom’s ability to do things were disrupted by waiting for the call that the aid was coming. Coverage only lasted six weeks and then the help was yanked the second mom was declared fit to lift more than 5 pounds again.

October 2019, our car died and so routines got thrown further out of whack because mom and I had to depend on friends and family for rides to grocery shop or go to church. Trips stopped being at a set time and turned into “whenever someone can drive you” so I was uprooted from my day with little warning, and we didn’t get a new car until early December.

December 2019: We Christmas shopped late because of the car bullshit, mom barely got the cookies baked in time, and it was just a super stressful Christmas season.

I struggled through the death anniversary of my dog because that year he was gone as many years as he had lived and I spent most of it in a disassociated state.

Then mom had her bowel obstruction the day after Christmas and was in the hospital from Friday to Sunday. Yet again she was gone and the routine was blown apart without warning. My sister gave me shit the first time I wore my new ear defenders to the grocery store. Dad did nothing but demand and demand from me when I had nothing. I ruined a dinner that I didn’t know how to cook and went hungry but made him eat leftover ham from Christmas.

January 2020, the COVID shit started on the news.

March 2020, I went to the grocery store with mom and shelves were empty like a nuclear war was coming. I was terrified that I would catch COVID and kill my parents by passing it to them. Church closed. Stores opened for senior hours at butthole o’clock in the morning. Weekend routines were destroyed. Choir practices stopped. More routine disruptions.

August 2020, I started having anniversary distress related to what happened to mom the year before.

Then dad fell and broke his hip. I still clear as day see him in his blue shirt, sitting on the stair chair, being pulled backwards out the front door by paramedics with the ambulance lights flashing red and blue under the midnight sky and white street light.

Late September, as I’m struggling a bit with the anniversary of what happened to mom, worrying about dad getting COVID and beginning to relax because “dad is going to be away till he can walk again...” there comes that phone call from shithole New Orange Hills saying they’re sending him home and we find out they lied to us about every promise they made.

October 2020, dad was brought home and now he’s laying in an electric bed in the family room where mom can hear him if he needs her.

Writing that down has me realizing I’ve been experiencing almost continuous upheavals to my routines. Routines give me a sense of safety, and every time things settle something else throws it all to shit again.

So either I have ptsd or I’m possibly developing it, and I’m scared because this seems so ridiculous compared to the reasons other people get it.

[gumnut-logic]

The Road

Oooh, look I finished it :D

-o-o-o-

Title: The Road

Author: Gumnut

6 Feb 2020

Fandom: Thunderbirds Are Go 2015/ Thunderbirds TOS

Rating: Teen

Summary: “Don’t let him sacrifice everything.”

Word count: 2118

Spoilers & warnings: None, other than weirdness.

Timeline: Season One sometime.

Author’s note: This is really weird. I’m totally not sure about it, totally not sure what it means or where it went. I know nothing, claim nothing, it probably is nothing. I hope you enjoy some of it, maybe, if you’re lucky ::shrugs:: I haven’t a clue.

This is for the first week of FabFiveFeb 2020 - Alan, dirt road. Challenge can be found here.

Disclaimer: Mine? You’ve got to be kidding. Money? Don’t have any, don’t bother.

-o-o-o-

The road stretched off into the distance.

Pale gravel limestone, sat as if it had just been graded. It climbed over the green hillsides and vanished off into the distance.

He turned in the opposite direction.

The road continued that way, too, but it vanished into darkness, its stark white swallowed by ancient trees, gnarled and bent, as if scooping the road off its surface and eating it whole.

Alan shivered.

He knew he had to make a decision of which way to go, but he was tired. Ever so tired.

It had been such a long week. Rescue after rescue. On land, on sea, in space. He and his brothers were so worn, it hurt.

It hurt, so much.

A slow blink.

“Alan!”

He startled. “Virgil?”

But there was no one.

Until suddenly there was.

A man was standing on the other side of the road.

It took him a moment to recognise the greying hair, the grey eyes...the flamingo shirt.

“Dad?”

The man didn’t answer. He just smiled a little and stared at Alan.

“Alan! Oh, god, don’t do this to me!”

“Virgil?” But his brother was nowhere to be seen. “What’s going on? Dad?”

A wind whipped up and a dust devil danced along the road in the distance, but other than that, there was silence.

His father smiled gently and held out his hand.

-o-o-o-

Virgil was in hell.

It had been a shit of a week. Too many rescues, too many losses, and he was exhausted. They were all exhausted, and exhausted led to mistakes.

The one saving grace was that Virgil was decked out in his exo-suit when it happened. One, it protected him and he was able to push off the rubble that collapsed on them. Two, when he found Alan crumpled under fallen powerlines, he was able to sever the electricity with one desperate claw.

“Alan!”

He moved...everything. He barely took the time to ensure his own safety before flinging rubble out of his way.

Comms. “Scott! Alan’s been injured. I need you!”

As soon as his way was clear, the exo-suit was shed and he was beside his little brother.

His lifeless little brother.

No breath.

No heartbeat.

God, no.

Please.

His reaction was automatic. Don’t think, just do.

Stabilise, clear airways, breathe for his brother.

Heart. Get his heart beating. Count.

Breathe.

Breathe again.

Please.

Chest compressions.

Please.

No response.

No response.

Breathe again.

C’mon, Allie, God, please.

“Scott, where the hell are you?!”

Heart. Get his heart beating.

Breathe.

No response.

“Alan! Oh, god, don’t do this to me!”

He fell into rhythm. Beat. Breathe.

Beat. Breathe.

Keep him alive. Keep him alive.

God, Allie, please!

-o-o-o-

“Dad?”

The man didn’t answer, but his expression was one of familiarity, fondness. His hand beckoned Alan forward.

Alan frowned and stepped onto the road.

The limestone crunched under the soles of his sandshoes.

Sandshoes?

He was wearing his clothes from home. His uniform was gone and replaced by his favourite guitar t-shirt, its frayed neckline soft against his skin. The cold breeze caught the hairs on his bare legs, teasing them to goosebumps.

Where was his uniform? Was he wearing his uniform?

One step after another and he crossed the road to stand in front of his father. “Dad?”

“ALAN!!”

It was screamed and spoke of so much pain. Virgil. Screaming.

Alan stumbled where he stood, eyes searching for his brother. “Virgil?”

But the wind in his hair was the only answer.

He felt numb, his thoughts slow. Something wasn’t right, but he couldn’t process why.

A hand reached up and cool fingers gently touched his cheek. It took Alan a moment to realise they weren’t his own.

A frown.

There were tears in his father’s eyes. “Dad?”

The man still didn’t answer, instead both hands cupped Alan’s cheeks. His father lowered his head until their foreheads touched.

A tear fell from his father’s eye and it hit the road in a little puff of powdered limestone.

“Dad, what is going on?” Through the molasses in his mind worry was finally worming its way through. This wasn’t right. This was his father! Where the hell was he?!

But he didn’t get a chance to ask before the world lit up in a rainbow of pain and his whole existence froze in agony.

Time stopped.

Everything stopped.

Limestone dust caught in his mouth and climbed up his nose. A gasp and he sneezed, his whole body spasming with pain, curled up on the gravel.

The world blinked out again and Alan’s back arched in a wordless scream only to fall limp a second later.

“Alan! C’mon!”

Scott. His big brother. He looked up expecting blue eyes but only found grey. The older man was leaning over him, offering a hand again.

Alan took it.

-o-o-o-

It became a mantra for Virgil. Time faded and his everything was to keep his little brother alive.

Muscles ached and burned. His head swam as his breathing was compromised in the attempt to breathe for Alan.

For Alan.

God, please, Alan.

His little brother was still at the gawky stage, still growing into the man he had to be. Had to be. The bones under Virgil’s large hands almost small in comparison.

Count. Compress. Breathe.

Count. Compress. Breathe.

Virgil’s brow crumpled a moment and his pace faltered. No!

“ALAN!!” Goddamn you, please.

Nothing.

Nothing an unarticulated sound broke through his lips and his heart trembled.

No!

Count. Compress. Breathe.

And suddenly Scott was there. His big brother sliding in beside him. Equipment appeared. Gordon appeared. Alan’s slack face disappeared under a breathing mask as Gordon took over.

Paddles. A call to clear.

His little brother’s bruised ribcage jumped.

“Again.”

Scott’s calm assurance and the whine of the defibrillator.

Another sharp shock that shook Virgil almost as much as it did his prone brother.

“Alan! C’mon!”

Virgil checked for a pulse.

Nothing.

No, no, no, no.....

Scott started compressions again.

Terror in his eyes.

-o-o-o-

“Come with me.”

Alan climbed to his feet, his thoughts caught in those grey eyes. His father’s voice was like a long lost memory.

“Where are we going?”

There was no answer. The man turned and pulled him in the direction of the hills and the road that appeared to go on forever.

Something in the forest behind them screamed.

“What’s happening?” Gravel crunched under his step as the road wavered on ahead of him.

“Scott needs you. You have to look after Scott.” And he was suddenly spun around, grey eyes ever so passionate. “Don’t let him sacrifice everything.”

Alan’s eyes widened and he took a step back. “Dad?”

“Please, Allie.”

“Allie, please!” Scott’s tortured echo of his father’s voice bounced across the landscape.

“Go.” Hands shoved him gently down the road. “Go!”

“But-“

“Go!” And those hands shoved, sending him tumbling just as another arc of agony tore across his landscape and took everything away.

-o-o-o-

The beep that woke him was directly out of one of Grandma’s daytime dramas and so predictable he actually let out a laugh.

Followed by a cough and a groan.

“Allie?” It was whispered, but so very Scott.

He blinked and turned his head only to come face to face with a messy tuft of black hair on his bed. Wha-?

Fingers touched his cheek and he shivered. For a split second he hesitated turning his head in the opposite direction, scared of what he might find.

“Allie?”

Familiar, but worried blue eyes greeted him. “Scott?” Augh, dry throat and a chest that throbbed in time to his heartbeat. “What happened?”

A straw touched his lips and he took the barest of sips of blessedly cool water.

“How are you feeling?”

A moment to assess himself. “Like Virgil used me for his gym mat.”

An eyebrow arched and then frowned. “What do you remember?”

A blink. “Call out in Two. Earthquake.” A frown. “Aftershock.” A moment of pure terror and he turned his head back to the black tuft of hair snoring softly beside him. “Is he okay?” His voice came out an octave higher that usual.

“Virgil’s fine. Exhausted, bruised and with a few extra grey hairs he has to dye out, but he isn’t seriously injured.”

“So what happened?” He continued to stare at the hair as it gently moved with Virgil’s breathing.

“You were both caught on the edge of a building collapse. Powerlines came down with it and you were caught by them.”

Alan turned to face his eldest brother again. “Oh.”

His fingers were picked up from the bed sheets and to his horror his brother’s hands holding them were shaking. “You scared us.”

Blink.

His hand was squeezed. Scott bent his forehead down and held Alan’s hand to it, closing his eyes. “Please don’t do that again.”

A swallow. “Not planning on it.”

“Good.” His hand was returned to him as if it had never been taken, his brother’s fingers resting lightly over it. “Rest, Allie.”

Despite the pain, rest was the last thing on Alan’s mind. “Where’s Gordy and John?”

“Grandma and John dragged Gordon out for food. They should be back soon.”

“Kayo?”

“Handling hospital security.”

To be expected. He sighed.

That handed patted his. “Rest.”

“I saw Dad.”

The patting stopped.

“What?”

“I saw Dad. He says I need to look after you.”

Something changed in Scott’s face. Something cold and fear-filled crept into his eyes. “You did?”

“I did.” And then what he was saying caught up with his sluggish brain. “I was dead, wasn’t I?”

Scott swallowed, but didn’t answer.

“I was dead and I saw Dad. Does that mean...?”

His big brother’s large hand curled around his and gripped just that touch harder than necessary. Parched voice. “It doesn’t mean anything.”

“But Scott-“

“You didn’t die. It doesn’t mean anything.” That something in his brother’s eyes caused the cardiomonitor to beep out of sequence.

Scott started, blinked and visibly gathered himself, his commander facade smoothly slipping into place. His grip loosened on Alan’s hand, once again becoming gentle and the ever caring brother he knew Scott to be.

Quiet. “It doesn’t mean anything, Allie. You were injured and our brains do weird things at the edge of consciousness, you know that.”

Yeah, he knew that. But ghostly fathers hadn’t been in the medical training.

He turned his brother’s grip on his hand around and clasped it in return. Dragging his other hand with its monitor and IV off the bed covers, he gently draped it over Virgil’s shoulders. The snoring snuffled a moment before smoothing back into its regular pattern again.

Alan felt oddly grateful to feel his brother’s chest moving slowly up and down.

“You need to rest.”

A blink and Alan was caught in those worried blue eyes again.

A sigh. “So do you.”

“I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not. You need to rest, Scott.”

His brother’s lips thinned and Alan suddenly felt like he had offered to take on a raging bull. He’d seen Virgil tackle his determined brother enough times.

Emotional blackmail. “I’ll feel better if you rest.”

Those lips thinned even further.

“Please , Scotty, I’m fine, I promise.”

And to his surprise, his big brother sagged where he sat, his head once again dropping. Alan’s hand was brought to Scott’s forehead and held there with both hands. “Thank, god.”

Alan lay there blinking for a moment, simply staring at his brother.

Virgil snorted in his sleep.

Alan slipped his hand from Scott’s hold and reached around his brother’s neck and gently pulled him down to the bed. Of course, Scott resisted, but Alan persisted and eventually his brother complied.

Now he had two dark heads of hair lying on his bed.

“What are you doing?” Scott sounded a little freaked out.

“What you’ve done for me all my life.” He patted his eldest brother’s shoulder gently. “It’s okay.”

“It’s weird.”

“Yeah? Well, welcome to my world.” Actually, it was rather nice to have his two big brothers together with him.

Virgil snorted again.

Well, mostly with him.

“You need to rest. Grandma’s going to kill me if she thinks I’ve kept you up.”

“I’m fine. I just...”

“What?” And Scott tried to sit up.

“Stay there, Scotty, please. I just want you here.”

His shoulders relaxed a little. “Okay.”

So, he wasn’t exactly willing, but Scott was here. There was more to unpack than his tired brain was able to work out, but Scotty was here and he was safe.

Safe. He had to keep him safe.

The ghost at the back of his mind smiled.

-o-o-o-

FIN.

[monochromemedic]

The Pickman Gallery

When Hancock told me and MacCready to search a strange little place called the Pickman Gallery, I wasn’t too concerned.  It was when the both of us entered the dimly lit art exhibit did the strangeness start. MacCready reached for his loose scarf around his neck, pulling it over his nose and giving a little choking gasp. “Jesus, you smell that? It’s like an abandoned butcher shop in here.” I gave a little sniff only to regret my decision. Even with my horrible nose that could barely pick up any scent, even I could could smell the horrible lingering scent of old and fresh blood mashed together with the scent I could only get when slicing a rotting ghoul open. Mac gagged more as he crouched down, tying his scarf around his face as he began to search the place for anything of interest. It didn’t take long however, as the first door made him grow pale as he stood completely back up, hand grabbing the rifle as he entered the room. I hissed his name, following behind only to behold the horrors that were inside that very room alongside him. Paintings. Many paintings of various size all painted in some thick paste of paint. I walked up to one, marveling as I noticed the horrid, erratic paint strokes. The paint was what interested me the most. Of course, all of the pictures were grotesque and horrid in their own way, but they were all painted with the same paint. It seemed wrong, a strange red color to almost all of the hues. I reached a hand out and gently touched the paint, my finger pressing deep into the still fresh part of the painting. It was jelly like, clumpy, and as I pulled my finger out, a strand of long hair clung to my fingertip. I scrunched my nose up and rubbed my finger against the wall, turning to MacCready who was staring back at my actions. “I wouldn’t be touching those if I were you... Something real... well just don’t touch them.” We continued  along the the rooms, paintings and bodies covering the place.  When looting through some of the bodies, seeing if they had anything on them that was worth while, we found that they were all some raiders, marked by a card lodged in some wound  in their body. I picked up a card and read it before shoving inside of my pocket. “Pickman. I guess he’s the one doing these. I’d... thought that it’d be some other raider but... “You think he’s the one doing the nightmare paintings?” “Possible. I mean the place is named ‘Pickman’s Gallery’.” “Disgusting...This guy is fu-...messed up.” MacCready hissed under his breath as he stared at a few other paintings. Another walk into a room when I felt the familiar tug on my shoes that signaled a tripwire being broken. I quickly tried to grab MacCready who was a few steps ahead, trying to pull him out of harms way. I was too late, and from a few hidden nozzles from the sides of the door blasted a yellowish gas around us. I tried to hold my breath, but the gas seemed to stick around us like it was plastered on our skin. We didn’t make it far, my hands grasping MacCready as my vision became cloudy, trying to focus on MacCready’s face. His eyes were wide, scared as he too tried to stay conscious, barking out an insult as I blacked out against him. When I woke up, I was bound by my ankles and wrists, leaning against a wall as my vision and hearing slowly came back to me. The sound came back loud, and it came back clear but my vision... was distorted. Everything seemed to shift and shimmer, twisting in on itself and sharpening just as fast only to begin to ripple. Everything seemed so... scary, so unreal, yet  the harsh ropes on my ropes that dug into my skin kept bringing me back from just thinking this was just a dream. The room was dark accept for a light beaming down on a figure strapped to a table, a small cart of cans and sharp objects littering it in an almost neat manner.  On the other side was a canvas, blank but rather large. I could hear the figure on the table straining against his restraints, gasping and heaving as he thrashed about wildly, yelling for help. It was MacCready, and as soon as I realized that the shapes I saw before me seemed to make sense. His beard, the sharp blue eyes, wide in terror. He was stripped down to his underwear and drenched in sweat. I opened my mouth to call out to him but could only managed a dry gasp as a couple of fingers grabbed my jaw, and yanked over to look at a new man. I tried to focus on the man’s face but in my haze everything was so distorted. His smile was big, too big that it seemed to slide off of his face. His eyes were manic and only seemed to get larger the longer I looked at him. But besides the crawling motion in his skin that seemed like there was a thousand bugs nesting under him he seemed like a handsome man. But his eyes were dark and his smile was sinister, even without my vision I could tell there was a darkness within him. “Good morning sunshine...did you have a nice sleep? I hope that the fall didn’t harm you too much.” His hand caressed my cheek before he was interrupted by MacCready’s shrill voice breaking this man’s smooth facade. “J...Jenna? Is that you?! Damn it!” He roared, thrashing harder against the restraints. “Leave her alone you psychopath!” “All in due time my friend. I was just waiting for our mutual to wake up to view the main event...” He stood up and slowly made his way over to Robert, who began to thrash again “You see... you are actually the art that I wish to pursue right now. And, I wanted to have a friend witness my art. You see, I am an artist and I always want to improve my art. I want to grow... I want to experiment. And so i’ve found something interesting to toy with. An audience, someone who could see through my eyes... That gas, it’s a hallucination agent. Hopefully you can see the creativity through the gas and get an ounce of what I see and appreciate my vision unlike so many before me. Who knows... I see that you’re a bit of an artist yourself, perhaps I could have an underling to teach my knowledge to. Isn’t that what all artists aim for? Someone that looks up to them and follows in their lead?” MacCready’s eyes darted around nervously, from me, to Pickman, to the scalpel that the was gripping delicately in his hand. “No, no, no, no.... AUGH!”  Mac’s breath became fast and strained as he tried to hold in the scream as the scalpel dug inside his stomach, making a deep cut that quickly spilled crimson down his stomach. “Now don’t breath so heavily, I need to collect a bit of this...” Pickman held a small tray to his side, collecting the blood. I tried to close my eyes, realizing why the paint before looked so odd to me.  “Blood paint? You paint using blood?” I choked out, only to get an idea. “Yes... blood, the life source of all humans, it brings a life to the paintings, something that no normal concoction of paint could compare.” “You... know that’s kinda stale right? Blood paint, that’s sort of a cliche at this point, i’m sure i’ve seen that a couple of times. Don’t you want to do something more original?” Pickman turned to me, the anger in his face turning demonic in the psychedelic haze. “Unoriginal? Unoriginal?! Perhaps it’s such a cliche because it means something! But if you’ve only seen this in comics and movies then no one has had the gull to do it in actuality! No one has had the bravery and vision that I have, they only merely come up with the concept... ha...haha.. No i use more then just blood in the paint. I capture the pain, I use every life force  that the body gives me to put into my art...” He paused before giving a little laugh,  taking the scalpel and stabbing it into MacCready’s chest, earning the ‘rewarding’ scream that escaped his lips. “You take me a dullard don’t you? Trying to distract me by insulting my art. Well now you’ve just owned my ire.” He walked towards me, grabbed me by my shirt and tossing me  across the room, causing my nose to bust against the hard ground and filling my throat with blood. “Well... no matter what you try to do, i’ll still finish my art piece.  Perhaps make a painting with two types of paint... since you so desperately want to pretend your little friend.” I sputtered and coughed up the blood, turning my head to the table where  MacCready wheezed, eyes darting form me and then towards something a few feet away. I followed his gaze, seeing a sharp rusty blade that was discarded. It was all I needed to understand what he wanted me to do. I gave him a look back, mouthing for him to distract Pickman. He closed his eyes and gritted his teeth, glaring at Pickman  as he pulled the scalpel back out of him. “You... a... you’re a sick puppy you know that? Who does that? Huh? Who even thinks about doing this kinda stuff?” “Aren’t you doing the same, making art in the a similar manner? You just do it with a gun, and leave your art to rot in the Commonwealth. It’s minimalist, but still a form of art none the less... I have just ascended that  concept and put it on a canvas.” As MacCready continued to distract him, taking cuts and stabs as I slowly moved to the blade. I managed to reach it in little time, rubbing my bindings against the  blade to free myself.  “I’m sorry if your scavver brain can’t understand true art. Although I don’t think it matters much though. You’ll understand soon enough, you’ll become art and others will learn the meaning though your sacrifice-” His speech was stopped by the rusty knife plunging into in neck.  Pickman stumbled back, hand going to the gushing river of blood that began to spill onto his nicely ironed suit. “You bitch! You... d...damn it!” The man stumbled forward, grabbing for another scalpel and charging towards me, only trip and fall as I moved to the side, the large amount of blood quickly knocking him unconscious. I turned to Robert, tired and wheezing as he gave a small smile on his face. “Nicely done kid.” I gave a huff as I went to free him of his restraints, hands plastering to the more serious wounds on his chest. “You gotta take care old timer. We need to patch you up. You’re... really fucked up.” “Yeah... we uh... do. I’m really glad that guys kinda... bleeding out. He was a... well he was just an ass.”  I gave a little smile and helped MacCready over to the lump of supplies that was left in the corner and began to patch him up with med-x and stimpaks “I’m...i’m glad you’re ok Cready this guy was fucked up, i’ll say it for you. This was... really fucked up. Ha... I think i might have nightmares.” I tried to keep a joking, positive attitude but as the adrenline died down I could feel myself begin to shake “I’m... sorry i didn’t mean to step on the wire, damn it i’m so careless you could have... fuck...” Robert grew quiet, only placing his hand gently on my cheek, causing me to flinch as I thought of Pickman’s backhanded stroke as I woke up. He quickly did it again, turning my head to look at him. “Aye, hey... look at me. I ain’t him. He’s on the floor bleeding out. I’m here, you’re here, he’s dead. Normally i’d chew you out but uh... just... look to the ground more ok?” I nodded and leaned my head against his hand. It was rougher then Pickman’s but calming then that bastard could ever be. “We should go back to Hancock and get you actually patched up. Sleep at the inn for the night, get a drink. Try not to think about this shit.” He nodded, giving a little smile. “Maybe more then just a drink, I could use a full bottle.”

[thefaithie]

WC, Chapter 6

Wrong Conclusions Chapter six: Echoed Farewells

For a long time, Raven and Robin went from roof to roof, looking for their friends. The entire time, Raven continued to tell Robin how silly he was acting and how the their friends were likely just shopping together, while Robin ignored all of her insults and unnecessary comments. Finally, after almost thirty minutes of searching, they saw two familiar figures stepping out of an amusement park. Robin stared blankly for a moment from his hiding place at the very top of a Ferris Wheel, looking around at the rest of the park.

"No wonder I couldn't reach them. All these electronics are jamming the signal," he muttered to himself before getting a closer look at Beast Boy and Starfire in particular. His eye twitch came back as he noticed that the two had even changed out of their uniforms, just like Cyborg had insisted. Beast Boy had put on a pair of normal black jeans, and a purple-and-black sweater, making him look considerably less silly than he usually did in his Doom Patrol uniform. Starfire, though she still wore her Tamaranian armor, was wearing somewhat of a light-purple sweater that reached up to her elbows instead, and a matching knee-high skirt, causing her to look considerably more innocent than usual. Even though it was actually less skin than she normally showed, Robin for some reason felt almost uncomfortable seeing her like so, like there was something private and intimate about it he wasn't supposed to see without her explicit permission.

"Okay. They went on a Roller Coaster or two. Whoop-dee-do," Raven said sarcastically from behind Robin, her hood covering her face. "Can we go now, oh paranoid leader?"

"Not yet!" Robin hissed, looking at Starfire laugh at something Beast Boy had said, and the green boy blushing a moment later. The Boy Wonder gritted his teeth, desperately wishing he could hear what the two superheroes were saying to one another...

"You did not expect for it to have been a true villain?" Starfire asked Beast Boy, hugging a tiger-plushie Beast Boy had won for her to her chest. They had been talking about the strange villain attack from the previous week, and Starfire found the story to be very amusing from Beast Boy's point of view. Beast Boy had been rather short in his official report to Robin; this version was much more interesting.

"Well, no," Beast Boy said honestly, blushing even darker than he had a moment before. The memory was an embarrassing one. "He came into the hospital and started to bother the doctors, right? So I tried t'calm the dude down! Next thing I knew, when my back was turned, I was sailing right through a wall!"

Starfire giggled once again, finding the mental image amusing, of course, knowing that Beast Boy was currently safe and unharmed. A second later, though, she paused in confusion. "Beast Boy, why is it you were in the hospital? Usually, people go to the hospital when they are wounded. Were you in pain after the attack of the Trigon?"

Beast Boy blinked in surprise, not having expected Starfire to ask such a question. Yeah, I was in pain, but not in the way you're thinking of, Star…he couldn't help thinking. For a moment, he scratched the back of his head, wondering whether or not he should tell her the truth. He looked her over for a second, trying to decide. Her green eyes stared back at him in worry and confusion, and her lips were pouting in mild distress. Without realizing it, Beast Boy's face began to grow red again, but for a different reason, now.

"...Beast Boy? Your face is turning the same tint as friend Raven's when she finds something she does not like within her room."

"Huh?" Beast Boy stared blankly for a moment, and then began to laugh, tearing his eyes away from the Tamaranian. "It's nothing, I just thought I saw something. About the hospital - I was there mostly because I wanted to go visit some sick people. I used to do that a lot before we were big superheroes and had to run around the way we do, now. But after Trigon's attack, I decided to do it again. It's made me appreciate life a lot more, y'know?" He smiled at himself, feeling proud for having done something he thought was in the past. He loved kids, and sick ones needed a good laugh a lot more than others. "It was a good thing, too, because that Vampire-dude wanted something from one of the kids. If I wasn't there, I don't think we would've made it in time."

"What is it that he had wanted to obtain?" Starfire asked. And a second later, she added. "And what is this 'Vampire' of which you all continue to call this villain?"

Now it was Beast Boy's turn to laugh. After all of the horror movies he had forced the Titans to sit through, Starfire still didn't know what a vampire was? She still ad the weirdest knowledge gaps sometimes.

Starfire tilted her head in confusion, feeling a very light blush beginning to appear on her cheeks. "I was not aware that what I had uttered was meant to be taken as something entertaining..."

"Huh?" Beast Boy stopped in his laughter for a moment to see that he had actually embarrassed the girl. He coughed for a second to try and cover his laugh and rubbed his arm a bit, feeling awkward. For some reason, embarrassing Starfire simply wasn't the same as embarrassing Robin, Cyborg, or Raven. He felt almost guilty for doing so. After all, she didn't know too much about their culture. Why should she have paid attention to any of his horror movies, anyway?

"Er, no, you didn't say anything. I just saw somethin' really funny," He lied, before beginning an explanation. "Well, I have no idea what the guy wanted, really, but whatever it was, he wanted it from a certain kid. The jerk hurt a bunch of ladies at the front, trying to get the kid's information. I gave the kid a Communicator, just in case something happens again. As for what a vampire is, they're these big myth things we have from Romany."

Starfire stared at Beast Boy in confusion for a moment. "Ro...many?"

"Yeah, Romany. It's a country in Europe or Antarctica or something, vhere dey all speek like diiis!" Beast Boy did his best to impersonate the Romanian accent. Starfire tilted her head at him.

"But Beast Boy, is that country not called 'Romania?'"

Beast Boy winced in realization. She was right.

"Well, yeah, but you can call it Romany, too!" He said, not sure himself if that was right or not, but it sounded like it must have been. He found that it was very easy to not seem like a total fool in front of Starfire. She not only believed everything he said, but she also knew what it felt like to be embarrassed for not knowing something. She was nothing like cold, cool, smart Raven, who never fumbled for a word. "Either way, Vampires have long fangs and are supposed to drink the blood of other people. Usually they have super strength and can disappear into the night and stuff. It's just these creatures based off of vampire bats, which are actually totally docile and only like to take blood from farm animals. So the real bats technically drink blood, too, but these Vampire things are totally fake. Oh, and Vampires, if they bite someone, that person's supposed to turn into their soulless zombie slave of theirs and...Star?"

Beast Boy cut himself off, looking back to notice that Starfire had stopped floating and had fallen out of step with him. She was now on her feet, shivering a bit with every word said. Her green eyes were brimming with tears of horror.

Shrieking laughter and words as cold as ice were echoing all across Starfire's mind. She remembered hands all over her body, in places she did not like being touched, and the scars they had left behind at her early age. She remembered every scar, as though they were back on her body, once again being inflicted by claws, fangs, and whips. She remembered all the horrible things she had seen within iron and stone walls, all of the horrible screams of agony and death she had heard. Tears quickly began to flow down her cheeks and her knees to felt weak. Her heart began to pound faster than it ever had before, and she began to emit whimpering sounds without even realizing it. She remembered everything, though she had spent so long trying to forget and push those memories away.

"Starfire!" Beast Boy ran back to her, feeling very confused and flustered. Great. He'd said something stupid! Augh, when was he going to learn to shut his mouth!? "Star, I'm-I'm really sorry! I have no idea what I said, but I didn't mean it, really! I'll make it up to you!"

Starfire swallowed for air, trying to find the strength to talk. It felt like she was drowning. But finally, she found her voice. It was barely more than a squeak as she spoke. "N-No, B-Beast Boy, i-it was nothing you had s-said. M-Memories of s-similar creatures plague my m-mind..."

"..Similar creatures? Star, you...you can't be serious," Beast Boy said, laughing a bit. But his laugh was more nervous than anything. After all, if huge insect-women who ate only Tamaraneans in their chrysalis form existed, why couldn't vampires? But still, it wasn't something Beast Boy wanted to accept yet if he didn't absolutely have to. "Vampire's aren't real."

"I-I know!" Starfire managed, feeling the heat from the tears on her cheeks. She felt very foolish for overreacting the way she was, but she couldn't simply shake it off. She'd managed to shake off the thought when she'd first seen the villain from far away a week ago, but now, with a description like that... "But you-your mention of the villain...H-He looks and s-sounds so m-much like one of them-!"

"Starfire, calm down...It's okay..." Beast Boy said, more quietly now, as he put his hands up in front of him to try and show her that everything was alright. "You're okay now..." As a friendly gesture, Beast Boy wrapped an arm around Starfire's shoulder. He hoped it would help snap her back into at least some form of reality. But his ears drooped a bit, as she did nothing more than shake her head to and fro, trying to force the voices from her mind.

"Star...Star, come on -- tell me what's wrong."

He whispered this closely into her ear, hugging her to him as he did so. In all of his years with the Titans, he had never seen Starfire in such a vulnerable state. She had always been powerful and giddy, or confused and curious. But never frightened to the point of crying, and in truth, it caused Beast Boy's heart to speed up in fear as well. After all, if there was something out there that could cause Starfire such horror, who knew what was in store for him or the other Titans.

"Please, Starfire, tell me..." He repeated, his green ears drooping even further.

Slowly, ever so slowly, Starfire's breath began to steady, though her face remained puffy and pink. Her shivering did not stop, but it lost some of its zeal. She took three steady breaths and gave a weak nod to Beast Boy's request.

"Y-yes, I sh-shall tell you."

The birds twittering above their heads in the orange and red leaves heard nothing. All they saw was the scene of two strange beings becoming closer, hugging, whispering to one another. And to the two Teen Titan birds atop the Ferris Wheel were no different.

"He-he's HUGGING her!" Robin shouted, surprising even himself. He saw only their backs, so he had not seen Starfire's tears. Only that Beast Boy had gotten close to her face, and then wrapped one of his arms around her. "He's hugging her! Right in the middle of the day, where anyone can see them! He probably told her something, lied to her about something! Augh, I'm going to kill Beast Boy when I see him, I swear-"

As Robin continued his threats and plans on what to do once Beast Boy returned home, Raven merely stared at the two as they slowly, ever so slowly, began to walk off, step-in-step. She felt their auras. She felt Starfire's face growing hot, her heart pounding, her gasps for breath. She felt Beast Boy's chest tightening, and him yearning for something from Starfire.

How...how could this have happened? How could those two -- of all the people in the universe -- have gotten together...?

And most importantly, why was she, Raven, so angry about it? She wasn't angry at anyone in particular. She didn't want to hurt Starfire or Beast Boy (though she felt like tearing Robin a new one if he didn't shut up soon). No, no...Raven felt angry with herself. She felt angry with herself for not having realized her feelings sooner. All of the times Beast Boy had made her laugh, all of the times he had caused her heart to freeze, all of the times he had made her worry ceaselessly, and Raven had never realized.

For a moment, Raven felt a sting in her eyes. Water...? No. No crying here. Not now. It was dangerous. She had to stay together. Together. Together.

Augh, Robin just wouldn't shut up!

"Give up!" Raven suddenly barked, causing Robin to pause his endless banter. "They're together, okay? We see that now. Starfire likes Beast Boy, Beast Boy likes Starfire. As long as they don't end up having kids running around the tower, who cares?"

Robin blinked in surprise, looking at Raven's shadowy figure in disbelief. Slowly, he turned his heel to look back down towards Starfire and Beast Boy. Starfire was so calm around Beast Boy. Beast Boy was just as calm around her. Beast Boy didn't feel ashamed putting his arm around Starfire. Beast Boy didn't feel like he was endangering the team. Beast Boy had gall that Robin had never been able to find, not even when Robin and Starfire had been alone together.

Beast Boy deserved Starfire more. Beast Boy had won.

"...You're right," Robin muttered weakly, forcing himself to look away from the two down below. The words tasted like acid. "We should let them get back to their date."

"Yeah, we should," Raven said in a moody tone.

But even though the two Titans had agreed, neither moved. They both looked down longingly at the pair below. Both of them shared feelings of heartache and self loathing in that moment, for not having realized their blatant feelings earlier. For not having said anything in time to have made any difference. For not doing anything to try and make themselves like their counterparts below.

It had been Beast Boy, after all, who had tried countless times to make Raven laugh. He had been shot down by her every time, without even a smile to keep his hopes up, no matter how Raven had felt like smiling on the inside. And there was Starfire. A free, innocent spirit who smiled at the slightest funny word, even if she didn't understand what the fuss was about. She appreciated Beast Boy rather than pushing him away like Raven did.

And Starfire had tried millions of times to get Robin to open up to her. She had made him feel awkward time and time again, and it had made Robin appreciate life all the more to know she was there. But Robin had not done as Starfire had wanted. He had refused to allow her to see any of his true emotions, his true feelings. But there was Beast Boy, who allowed everyone to know what he was feeling at all times. He was loose and didn't take life so seriously. He could enjoy a date without worrying about whether the bank was being robbed. He could make life fun for Starfire, rather than forcing her to always think of work.

As the two watched Starfire and Beast Boy walk off into the nearby, both Raven and Robin found themselves thinking the same words at the same time.

Goodbye...

Disclaimers:

Starfire, Beast Boy, Raven, Robin, Cyborg, Silkie, and pretty much everything but the plot at hand belongs to © D. C. Comics/Cartoon Network/Kids WB

9/2019 Update:

Whoo! I'm keeping up! It's nice to see people still like reading this fic, even years later. I think it's a good sign of how good this cartoon had been when it came out.

[naruwitch]

Code Geass: Paladins of Voltron Chapter 7: Some Assembly Required

All was quiet and peaceful in the Castle of Lions as the sun began to rise over the Arusian horizon slowly. No sign of the Galra anywhere and one of the few precious times to relax and process all that happened the day (days...? How exactly did time work in space?) before.

After dinner, the Paladins went to some halls aligned with several bedrooms on the side. It wasn't too far from two large bathrooms, which looked similar to the P.E. showers and locker rooms. One was for the girls and the other for the boys. The bedrooms mostly consisted of a single bed, a simple set of drawers, and a couple of other hidden compartments. From the sheer number of them, the Castle must have had a tremendous amount of servants and workers or hosted a large number of visitors reasonably often. They all decided to pick their rooms in the same hallway. Best to stick together after all. Lelouch's was the closest to the intersection leading off in other directions, with Rivalz, Shirley, Kallen, Rai, Milly, and finally Suzaku taking up the rooms past him in that order.

Shirley sighed as the warm water from the Altean shower streamed down her form. Despite the similarity of the locker rooms, the showers were just as fancy as the rest of the Castle. It took about fifteen minutes for her to make her way through the many buttons lining the shower wall. They varied from dumping flower petals to what smelled like some sort of lemon-lime juice that almost got in her eyes. That would have stung! Despite the confusion though, the Orange Paladin had to admit that the Princess had excellent taste in regards to hair products, taking her sweet time lathering her locks with the sweet vanilla smelling shampoo-

*BEEP*BEEP*BEEP*

-Which promptly ended as a resounding shriek echoed through the bathroom, which was joined as one of her own tore through her throat, nearly causing to slip and fall on her face! She only managed to catch herself by bracing her legs on the sides of the stall.

o~o

Rivalz jumped in shock as he tumbled out of bed and tangled himself in his blanket. He struggled to get up for the door, only for the same blanket culprit to trip him by the feet and face plant on the hallway floor.

o~o

"Everybody up! Zarkon's attacking."

Suzaku looked up from mid-push-up, Paladin armor already adjourned, leaping to his feet and racing out the door.

o~o

Milly hummed as she shifted deeper into her cushions, Mozart ringing in her headphones, and a black charcoal face mask soaking up her pores.

o~o

Lelouch tsked and put done the datapad he was looking over. He could tell this wasn't a real attack even without looking at it, but he also was in no mood to get on a 10,000-year-old princess's wrong side.

o~o

"The castle's about to be destroyed!"

Kallen yelped as she all but threw on her turtleneck, snatched up her Bayard, and scrambled out into the hall.

o~o

"Go, go, go! We need Voltron now!"

Rai jumped, and almost hit his head against the cryo-pod he was dozing against, the laptop sliding off his legs. The Green Paladin hadn't even bothered to go to his room, wanting to question the prisoners they'd picked up the second he could.

But considering the urgency in Allura's voice, it would probably be a bad idea to stall any longer. Pushing himself up, he rushed out the door, Rover trailing behind him.

o~o

"Hurry! We can't survive much longer!"

"You've got to sell it a little bit more," Coran said, taking the device out of Allura's hands.

Clearing his throat, Coran wailed, "Oh no! Allura is dead! Oh, it's horrible! Her head fell off!" he collapsed to his knees, still very much in remorseful character, "A-! Wait! He-Her severed head is trying to speak to me! What is it Allura's head? What are your final words!?" Tears gathered in the advisor's eyes.

"Coran…"

"Oh yes, Princess, I'm listening!"

"It's over." she deadpanned.

Not even realizing what she meant, Coran continued and nearly dramatically collapsed onto the floor again, "Oh yes, I know! Augh! If only Voltron had been fooooorrmmmed."

Coran finally looked up, to see the very annoyed faces of the Paladins waiting for him to finish his soap opera. "Oh! TIME!" he shot up, accidentally tossing the com behind him in the process.

"Can I assume from the theatrics, that this isn't an actual attack?" Lelouch remarked, arms crossed, lips pulled back in an annoyed frown. The other present Paladins looked just as irked. Besides Suzaku, Lelouch was the only one in full uniform and guessing from the state of Kallen's shirt; she had just been getting dressed when the alarms went off. But she had been wise enough to bring her Bayard in her rush.

On the other hand, Rai and Rivalz still looked half-asleep, the former in his casual dark blue shirt, grey jacket, and black jeans, the later only in his pajamas. Shirley was shivering and blushing cherry red in embarrassment. The only garment of clothing she wore was her orange bathrobe with a towel wrapping up her soaking wet, shampoo-filled hair.

Allura didn't seem to notice the annoyance as she stared sternly at them. "And it's a good thing it wasn't because it took you- Coran?"

"Seventy-five degrees," he answered. Allura blinked. That wasn't a time slice. Coran seemed to notice too, as he registered the device he was holding in his hand, "Oh! Sorry! No, this is a meat thermometer."

Allura sighed in annoyance, "However long it was; it was too long! You must always be ready to battle against Zarkon. Look at you! Only Lelouch and Suzaku are in uniform, and at least Kallen brought her Bayard! Rai, Rivalz, Shirley, where are your Bayards? And where's Milly?"

As if on cue, the Yellow Paladin came strolling through the door, sporting cute lion-headed slippers, pajamas, and bathrobe, holding a cup of tea in her hand. Her hair was already styled in her signature curls, and her face smooth and pimple free. "Good 'meow'ning everybody!" she greeted with a small yawn, "What's going on?"

"Coran and I have been up for hours getting the Castle back in order," Allura explained tartly, "We had to run a test on the alarms, and we decided to test you as well." The princess glared daggers at Milly while folding her arms behind her back, "Guess which one failed?"

"Well, you could've given at least a day to process all that's happened!" Shirley blurted out, still flabbergasted from having her shower interrupted.

"Yeah, what Shirley said!" Rivalz agreed, "You-" he yawned, "you got to sleep for ten thousand years! Monday, we were ordinary school kids on Earth, and since then, a magic lion has flown us through space, we've fought some evil alien named Zarkon, and eaten goo in some weird sci-fi castle. that's a lot to process in, um, I don't know what day is it today?"

"It the third quintant of the spicolian movement. Hump day!" Coran cheerfully replied.

'Wednesday,' everyone thought in astonishment. They'd been missing from Earth for two days already!?

"What Rivalz means to say is that this is simply a lot of process for only a couple of days," Lelouch stated in slight annoyance. Though the prince himself had many experiences with only days to process, this was a bit much as well.

Allura sighed again, not in annoyance this time, but more out of concern and fatigue.

"You must understand the stakes of our mission," a holopad appear by her head and pushed a few buttons on the screen. "Over the last ten thousand years, the Castle has picked up distress beacons from the following locations," the screen disappeared to reveal the star map from their first day. Instead of blue planets, stars, and comets, however, ominous red glows covered almost all of them with a few still blue ones in the outer edges of the holograms. "So we have to assume that Zarkon has conquered almost the entire known universe," she swiped her hand to the right towards the more blue area. She stopped on a small bright solar system only about a foot or two from the red border. "Earth is here, an attack on your planet is inevitable."

"Oh, no!" Shirley gasped in horror, similar expressions plastered on the other paladins' faces.

"Exactly," the princess nodded as the holomap pixelated out, "our mission is to free all those planets. Coran and I are getting the Castle ready to leave Arus. During that time, you have to learn to form Voltron, so that we can begin fighting Zarkon."

"The princess is right," Suzaku said, turning to Lelouch, who nodded, "let's get to the Lions and start training."

"Wait!" Rai protested, "But I want to talk to the prisoners we rescued from the Galra ship."

"Ah, negative Number One-I have you all ranked by height, okay?" he missed the slight wince Kallen and Lelouch gave at the proclamation. "The prisoners need to remain the cryo-replenishers until tomorrow."

"That's right. Now, get to your lions." Allura ordered.

"Uh, hold on!" Rivalz piped up, "What exactly are we going to be doing in them? We're not gonna be shooting at each other, are we?"

"Yeah," Shirley said, trying to tighten her robe to preserve her modesty, "Unlike most of you, we've never even stepped foot in a Knightmare, so how's this supposed to work?"

"GUTS!" Milly suddenly shouted, making Coran and even Allura jump.

"The 'Guts' spell again, Prez?" Kallen asked in annoyance.

"Yep! We may not be in Student Council anymore, but Allura does mean well, we'll never figure out how to work the Lions if we don't practice!"

"Spell?" Coran asked inquisitively, "I did not know that humans were capable so such feats."

"It's just something Prez has done to try to motivate us; it's not real magic per se," Suzaku tried to explain.

"Actually!" Rai grinned, "It's got me going already, Milly!"

"Subtle and willing, that's what I like to see!"

"Very well, now that you're all motivated, get moving!" Allura ordered, pleased to see that some of them were willing to take charge.

"That's not exactly what I was going for Princess," Milly suddenly smirked. The hair on the back of Shirley and Kallen's neck stood on end.

'Why do I have a bad feeling about this?' the Red Paladin asked.

"You're a ten," Allura blinked in confusion. What on Alaaran did that have to do with anything? Then she followed where Milly's eyes were looking. "At least at first glance. For someone who's over ten thousand years old, you're filling out in all the right places, aren't you, Princess?"

Shirley and Kallen turned beet red while Rai and Rivalz struggled to hold back laughter. Lelouch could only pinch the bridge of his nose while Suzaku shared an equally mortified look with Allura.

"Why you-!"

"I am being left out of something?"

Allura's confounded response was interrupted when C.C. trudged into the room — adorned in her straight jacket that she had been wearing the previous day. Lelouch made a mental note to ask Allura for some extra clothes for her. The mysterious woman had been quiet the last day, not even going through the trouble to bother Lelouch before bed. Come to think of it, Lelouch wasn't even sure where C.C. had decided to sleep.

'I guess even immortal witches need time to process chains of events.' Lelouch concluded.

"Besides questioning prisoners," Suzaku said, turning his attention back to Lelouch again, "you still need to explain to us who she is and what she's doing here."

"You do realize I'm still in the room, right?" C.C. asked, now leaning against the wall.

"Yes, I know Suzaku," Lelouch exhaled, "but that'll have to wait. All of you, to your lions now... After, of course, you've changed Shirley," giving a sympathetic look at the Orange Paladin, who only blushed harder in embarrassment.

"No need for that!" Coran said, "once you step through the elevators leading to your lion's hangers, if not dressed in it already, you'll be dressed in your uniform automatically!"

"Okay, uh, handy!" Shirley squeaked. The thought of being dressed automatically like that made her skin crawl for some reason, but a magic alien castle. Who knew?

"Enough," Lelouch said in finality, "to the Lions, now!"

The Paladins each marched into the elevators positioned conveniently next to their color-coded seats. Except for Lelouch. His lift was in the center of the bridge. Lowering the Paladins (all now fully clothed just as Coran said, much to Shirley's relief) down, it took about 10 seconds until an opening appeared, revealing a zip line. They zoomed through a brightly colored tunnel for each respected lion and paladin. The zip line by far was a new experience for all the Earthlings. They'd heard of a couple of famous and fantastic zip lines back on Earth. Some that came to mind were in the continent that used to be known as South America before Britannia took it over and split it into different areas to govern. Ones that zipped through leafy treetops and colorful birds and other wild beasts roamed freely. Some of them lasted for several long minutes with only the wind in your hair, and the green scenery flitting past.

Once the zip line ended, they dropped down through a hatch and into what appeared to be a single-personed motorbike, which drove them up to another elevator specifically large enough for it. The Paladins were lifted up until the bikes themselves disappeared into the chests and lower compartments of each lion. It soon wasn't long until the Lions let out a mighty roar and darted out into the courtyard of the castle.

"Alright Paladins," Lelouch's commanding voice echoed in the comms, "we'll fly in tight formation until we're completely in sync."

Allura's smiling face appeared on the screen within each Lion. "Feel the bond with your lions and your fellow pilots until seven become one unit, and you form Voltron!"

"YEAH!" everyone shouted as their lions leaped into the sky, the same formation as they when they first formed Voltron.

Nothing.

"Yeah!" they shouted again as they swooped back around, trying to connect with the Lions… somehow.

Nothing.

Thirty minutes later.

"...Yay…," less than enthusiastic replies followed. The Lions slowed until they came at last to a distal stop.

"Woooo…. Am I the only one who's still pretending to be excited?" Rivalz asked. None answered as mirrored expressions of frustrations and scowls of annoyance presented themselves on each of the Paladins.

"This isn't working," Lelouch admitted, "Let's set down for a little bit."

"Maybe we should be building Voltron from the ground up." Suzaku suddenly suggested.

"What do you mean?" asked Rai, not quite following Suzaku's train of thought. Wasn't that what they were trying to do?

"I mean, let's try literally building Voltron, like, stacking on top of each other."

"What? Like one of those cliche cheerleader pyramids?" Kallen scoffed. That was a ridiculous idea! What even made the Purple Paladin come up with that?

"Well, if you've got a better idea, Kallen, I'm all ears," Suzaku shot back.

Lelouch sighed. He thought the idea was ridiculous too, but he honestly couldn't think of another thing that they could try. They'd been flying around the Arusian plain for almost an hour, or varga as the Alteans called it. The answer couldn't possibly be that simple.

"Fine! We can give it a try," he consented.

The Paladins quickly moved into a position to try and 'build' Voltron. And it seemed to work. Except...

"Rivalz, what are you doing?" Lelouch asked incredulously.

"What do you mean?" the Blue Paladin replied.

"Rivalz Cardemonde, you're supposed to be the lower leg! Down here!" Milly scolded from almost the bottom of the pile. Currently, Suzaku and Shirley were standing side by side. Then Kallen and Milly were on top of them, Rai and the Green Lion perched on top of the Yellow Lion, and the Black Lion semi on top of the Red and Green Lions. And Rivalz... had the Blue Lion parked on top of the Black Lion's wings.

"What?" Rivalz asked, surprised and confused, "No. No, no, no. I'm pretty sure when we did it last time I was the head. Right?"

"You yelled, 'I'm a leg!'" Shirley reminded him.

"Yeah, last I checked we all were yelling a lot of things!"

"Lelouch is the head," Kallen stated a little aggressively. 'Stinkin' Britannians!'

"All the time?" Rivalz almost whined.

Lelouch let out another sigh, "Let's just try it my way for now!"

Rivalz pouted in defeat, "Okay, but next time I call head!"

The Lions quickly shifted into the correct positions as Lelouch slowly lowered the Black Lion down. Rivalz and Shirley were at the bottom, with Milly and Suzaku on top of them, Kallen and Rai over them, and Black on top.

"Okay. Arms and legs, and I'll form the head." Lelouch instructed himself. He set the Black Lion gently on top of the pyramid. Lelouch blew out, "All right, feel the bonds with your lions. Now, channel your energy into forming Voltron. Focus. Focus."

Two minutes later.

"Is everyone bonding and focusing?" Lelouch asked as the Lions had not moved once from their spot in the plane.

Kallen growled in frustration, "Why did this seem so much easier before?!"

"For some reason, I figured this would be more like piloting the Knightmares," Suzaku commented, "but… guess not."

Lelouch breathed out a sigh, "Let's take a break," He needed some time to think about this. Kallen did have a point; it was a lot easier to form Voltron yesterday. Could it have been part of the adrenaline rush and the imminent danger?

His train of thought was cut short though when Allura's face appeared on their dashes again. "Sorry to interrupt, but I may be able to help. Yesterday, you weren't able to form Voltron until you were in the heat of battle."

Lelouch blinked as that was what he had been thinking. The other Paladins all replied in agreement with the concept. The attack had indeed forced them to have to work together and to believe as one being. Practically an extreme example of the fight or flight method. But… something in his gut suddenly plummeted as well. It was a similar feeling he got when Milly was about to spring some completely outlandish scheme onto them.

"Perfect," the Princess smiled as she pushed a few more keys and buttons on the castle's screen, "Because I need to run a diagnostic test on all the Castle's defenses. This should help!"

Lelouch's suspicions were confirmed as the shield sprang to life on the Castle, and then started shooting blue lasers at them!

"RUN!" Lelouch shouted just as the first lasers hit the field. Clouds of fire and smoke enveloped them as the Lions took off in all directions, frantically dodging the blasts.

"Princess! What are you doing?!" Suzaku shouted.

"Running a diagnostic test on the Castle's defenses," Allura casually answered as if endangering the only hope to the universe was normal for her, "and inspiring you! I believe in you Paladins! Let fear be your guide! Form Voltron!"

"Nevermind! I'll take Milly's schemes any time!" Shirley screamed.

"Forget this!" Rivalz exclaimed, "I'm heading back to the Castle!"

"Rivalz, wait!" Kallen called as the Blue Lion bounded up the hill to escape. Upon leaping to the barrier, Rivalz was met with surprise as his lion bounced off it and tumbled back down.

"Princess!" Milly screamed, "Shouldn't you be using a more practical method of inspiration?"

"You think Zarkon's going to be 'practical' with you?" Allura chastised the Yellow Paladin harshly, "He's probably on his way here right now to destroy us all!"

With that final word, the Princess pressed a button on the screen. All seven of the colored dots gained four dark blue arrows pointing at them.

"Auto-lock-on engaged," Allura then left the bridge as the screaming Paladins struggled to survive the new onslaught of 'friendly fire.'

o~o

"You've returned early," a booming voice observed from the main throne room, "Did you complete your mission?"

A trembling Galran soldier knelt before the throne. "Sir, the moon's crust became unstable." he explained with a bowed head, "Staying any longer would have cost half my crew."

Zarkon's scowl didn't leave his face, and only seemed to grow darker, "Hmm, perhaps, but the half that survived would have been stronger."

The commander looked up slightly in shock, "Weakness is an infection, better to cut it off, then let it spread."

The commander blinked. What was the emperor referring to? Two metal arms suddenly seized him and started dragging him from the room, terror filling his eyes.

Not even blinking as the commander was dragged off, Zarkon turned his attention to the woman next to him. "What have you and your druids come up with to capture Voltron?"

"I have been working on perfecting something. Something that will strike fear into the hearts of any that stand against it. Voltron may have surprised Sendak, but he will not be able to overcome my creation."

o~o

"Are we at full power on condenser number five yet?" Allura questioned Coran as the two of them entered the small lounge, both carrying small devices to monitor the Castle maintenance.

"No," Coran sighed, "still just at eighty-four percent."

Allura looked up and was pleasantly surprised to see that most of the Paladins were laid out upon the benches. If they were inside that had to mean-!

"You did it! You formed Voltron!"

"No," Kallen sighed, "The shooting stopped, and the particle barrier shut down, so we just flew in."

The smile on Allura's face vanished, a scowl now in its place, "What?!"

Coran smiled awkwardly, "Oh right, uh, sorry, Princess, I had to turn off the Castle defenses to test the fire suppressors."

"Considering we were fighting for our lives outside," Lelouch commented, walking in with Suzaku, "we issued a small mental break to recover."

"We know you want us to be training Princess," Suzaku added, "but we're not Alteans. We don't understand the Lions as you appear to."

"Yeah, and when are we going back to Earth?" Rivalz asked, almost desperately.

"I'm not going back until I find my family!" Rai declared cold blue eyes narrowed.

"Did it occur to you that there won't be an Earth to return to until Zarkon is defeated?!" Allura demanded.

"We do understand that!" Shirley protested, looking close to tears with frustration and pressure, "But how do you expect us to do this if we can't even form Voltron?!"

"Well, I'm not surprised," Coran said, a thoughtful expression on his face, "You know, the original Paladins fought hundreds of battles together, side-by-side. They were like a pack of yalmors linked at the ears," he pretended to pull at his mustache to demonstrate.

"Normally, that would be us…" Milly admitted as she flopped down on her back, "But considering the events as of late, all of us are off our game lately."

"During the last attack, your survival instincts forced you to work as a team," the advisor continued, "but that will only get you so far. You'll have to become a real team to have any chance of forming Voltron and then beating Zarkon next time. You should try working out on the training deck."

This peaked Suzaku's attention, "There's a training deck?"

o~o

Haggar moved gracefully and with purpose down the hall. She was confident that with the inexperience of the new paladins that her creation would crush them into nothingness. But for this project to come to fruition, she needed some… assistance.

A dark cell door at the end of the hall hissed open as four of her faithful Druids stood guard. Her glowing yellow eyes gazed at the large, boisterous creature in the cell.

"I think I have the opportunity you've been waiting for. How would you like to get your revenge against the Champion?"

Yellow eyes almost identical to her own narrowed in delight before stepping forward. An array of razor teeth shone behind a sinister smile.

o~o

"Two, two, one, two," Coran mumbled after clearing his throat. He was standing in what appeared to be an observation tower, shielded with a thick panel of glass. A Bluetooth-like device with a microphone was attached to his left ear. "Okay, listen up, everyone! The Paladin Code demands that you put your team members' safety above your own."

Coran's voice echoed through the training deck. The seven Paladins were facing outward, away from the others. The training deck's color was similar to the rest of the Castle, consisting of bright blue lights with white and black metal paneling.

"A swarm of drones is about to attack," Coran informed them as a hiss issued from above them. Looking toward it, they saw that a bunch of circular white robots was gliding towards them. It reminded Rivalz vaguely of the drone that Luke Skywalker trained his lightsaber with, in the fourth Star Wars movie. They began to circle them, surrounded.

Kallen, Suzaku, Rai, Milly, and Lelouch all shifted into defensive stances, their blue shields springing to life. Shirley and Rivalz were a little slower but soon followed.

"Get ready," Lelouch ordered, right before the first drone fired right at Shirley's head.

With a gasp of panic, she ducked, covering her head. The blast flew over her, but ended up hitting Rivalz square in the back!

Before the Blue Paladin could even discern what had happened, the floor opened up underneath him, before he fell into it with a shout of alarm.

"Protect your teammate!" Coran ordered again, "Or no one will be there to protect you!" As he said this, another shot hit Shirley in the shoulder, and with a shriek, she fell through the floor as well.

Gritting their teeth, the five remaining Paladins found themselves back to back, shields practically in front of their faces. So far, it seemed to be working though, no blasts hit anyone, the shields efficiently absorbing them.

"Time to increase intensity," Coran commanded as the drones began to spin so fast it became a blur. More shots were firing at rapid speed as everyone struggled to block them.

"You keeping up over there, everyone?" Rai asked with a slightly cocky smirk.

"Just focus on keeping us safe!" Kallen barked back.

"Quit talking and focus," Milly yelled, gritting her teeth, pulling the shield closer still.

The drones then lowered and began shooting at their legs. Most of the Paladins were able to kneel in time, but one shot a very low blast which would've hit Rai's leg, had the Green Paladin not lifted his leg to dodge in his quick moment of panic… which ended up hitting Milly in the back, where she disappeared with a shriek through the floor. Still caught in his shocked stupor, Rai didn't have time to block as another shot hit him in the stomach.

"Rai!" Suzaku yelled, looking behind as the boy fell through. This moment of weakness cost him as another drone shot him right in the forehead, where he crashed into Kallen! After the Red Paladin fell square eagle on her stomach, they both fell through the floor.

Lelouch's eyes widened as he saw that he was now alone. It didn't last long as a shot hit his hand that was holding the shield with enough force to skid backward. And just like with the others, the former prince was joined with the floor.

Coran groaned as he rubbed his forehead. Some of these humans claimed that they were military, but that was anything but military from what he could see. Whatever 'military' experience they claimed to have must be something much different from Altea-

"You know-"

"Yaaaeerrrggg!" Coran shot two feet in the air against the window as a shriek escaped his lips, clutching his chest and gasping for air as C.C. ('How does she sneak around so QUIETLY?!') made her presence known on the control deck. The green-haired human(?) had a playful smirk on her face and looked like she was trying very hard not to laugh.

"Madam!" he seethed as he mustache bristled in fury and embarrassment, "Quit doing that!"

"Doing what?" C.C. asked innocently, cocking her head slightly like a curious toddler.

The Altean huffed as the Paladins were all slowly brought back up to the surface.

"As I was saying," C.C. continued, walking up to stand next to him, "if this were real combat, a couple of them would still be standing. Foot, hand, and shoulder shots aren't necessarily fatal unless hit in a specific location, like an artery or vein. The head, back, and stomach I'd understand. But if this were real life, I believe at least Shirley and Lelouch would still be fighting. Also, considering Suzaku's 'corpse,'" she made quotation signs with her hands to prove her point, "fell on top of Kallen, resulting in her falling with him, we'd still have three Paladins standing. Injured, but standing."

Coran stroked his mustache as he saw the logic of C.C.'s reasoning. Hitting a few buttons on the deck, he began instructing them again.

"Alright, Paladins! Let's try again! This time the floor is programmed to open if the blast hits a vital area. If your arm or leg is hit, you can still technically defend yourself and your team. For example…"

One of the drones blasted an unaware Rai in the shin. The Green Paladin yelped as the shocking pain swelled up his leg. He was able to hop on the other for a couple of seconds before tipping backward, bracing himself for the floor to open up and swallow him… but nothing happened.

"Huh?" a confused gasp before registering he was still on the surface, "Nothing happ-" he attempted to rise up but lost balance again when his leg refused to budge. "What the?! My leg!"

"Afraid you lost your limb Number One!" Coran informed, as Suzaku ran over and slung his arm over his shoulder, "you'd have to make do without it if this was a real fight."

Rai grumbled as the numbness soon dissipated, shaking his now working leg of the pins and needles.

"Alright, everyone, shields at the ready!"

o~o

Now for the record, the last sequence went a little better than the first one. Almost immediately, the team clustered together, shields up, and determined to protect their section of the circle. But as shots continued to fly and small mistakes were made, the formation crumble. This time it was Lelouch that fell first, suffering a blow to the head, jerking forward and tumbling headfirst through the floor. After that, though, it wasn't long before the others joined him.

From what Coran could tell, the team seemed to be relying heavily on the Black Paladin as their foundation. While he admired the trust they appeared to have for Lelouch, in other circumstances, this might not be the best case. They would have to learn to rely on not just their leader, but each other as well. There would be situations where Lelouch would be either out of commission due to injury or otherwise.

Hence the reasoning for the next exercise.

Kallen was standing in the middle of the training deck, surrounded by a vast transparent maze, which soon flickered out of existence. Or so she believed.

"To form Voltron, you must trust in each other. This ancient Paladin maze will teach you that trust. Your teammate can see the walls, but you can not. So, listen carefully, if you touch the walls, you'll get a slight shock."

Kallen took a deep breath as she placed her helmet on her head. For some reason, she wasn't looking forward to this exercise. Maybe it was all the practice she'd had of feigning her identity, but she didn't trust most people at all.

"Okay," she sighed, "who is guiding me through?"

"Take two steps forward," Suzaku's voice rang over the comm.

She growled a little, why was she always partnered with Suzaku?!

Coran seemed to have noticed the hostile expression and spoke up, "Now, just sit tight. You'll get your turn."

"As I said, Kallen, take two steps forward, turn right, and take three steps in that direction," Suzaku repeated.

With a huff of annoyance, Kallen took a step forward-

"GAH!" she cried as the wall she hit electrocuted her, "What the quiznack Kururugi?!"

"Kallen, you're not listening to me!" Suzaku said in an exasperated tone.

"You said 'turn right'!" she shot back,

"But before that," Suzaku corrected in a tone he hoped sounded calm, "I said 'Take two steps forward.'"

The Red Paladin growled in frustration, why did this seem more natural when Zero was giving orders back home? "Two steps-" she screamed again as she hit the wall again.

"WE'RE SWITCHING PLACES! NOW!"

o~o

Despite the small hiccup with Kallen and Suzaku, most of the other Paladins made it through the maze with little trouble, much to Coran's relief.

Now the Paladins were back in their lions and soaring through the atmosphere of Arus in tight formation. The Black Lion in the front, the Red, Yellow, and Blue Lions to the right of it, and the Green, Purple, and Orange Lions to the left.

"You'll never be able to form Voltron unless each of you has a strong bond with your Lion," Coran instructed from down in the castle.

Rivalz grins proudly, "No problem! Me and Blue and are best buds for life, for real!"

"Perfect!" Coran said, "Then you should have no issues with this exercise. Everyone, put your Lions into a nosedive!"

With almost excited growls, the seven Lions dove towards the ground at the speed of a bullet.

"This is an expert-level drill that you really shouldn't attempt until you've been flying for years, but uh, we're in a bit of a rush, so here we go. Activating training helmets," Coran says as another screen pops up with a button that he promptly pushes.

Simultaneously, the Paladins' helmets all went dark. They couldn't even see their hands in front of their faces. Yelps and gasps from all the Paladins resulted.

"Coran, what's happening?!" Shirley screamed.

"I can't see!" Rai yelled.

"You must learn to see through your Lion's eyes. The goal is to pull up right before you crash into the ground. Feel what the Lion feels!" Despite the instruction, most of the Paladins had the same thought rolling through their heads: 'ARE. YOU. CRAZY?!'

Shirley was the first to pull out. Heart pounding so hard she could barely breathe, tears starting to form in her eyes. "Mine feels scared!" she whimpered as she pulled back on the handlebars and slammed on the pedals. The Orange Lion pulled out of formation.

The Blue and Yellow Lions were neck and neck as they continued to charge for the ground.

"You still going, Milly?" Rivalz asked a confidant, but a slightly flirty smirk on his face.

"You know it!" she replied, eyes focused, trying to connect to the Lion, "You?"

"Going? I'm speeding up!" Rivalz challenged as he hurled the handle forward.

Milly raised her eyebrows in amusement, mimicking him, "Oh yeah?"

The two lions rapidly picked up speed as the ground began to get dangerously closer. Due to the Blue Lion being slightly slimmer than the Yellow Lion, Rivalz held the lead by nearly an inch.

"Must be getting close," Rivalz remarked friskily.

"Must be!" Milly replied, smirking almost evilly, "What's wrong? Scared?"

Rivalz mouth dropped, "I'm not scared-!"

The Blue Paladin didn't have more time to protest further as he was almost knocked out of his seat as both he Milly crashed into the dune below, burying them waist-deep, head first!

They both groaned from the impact as the Blue Lion ungracefully tumbled out back down the hill.

"I… win…" Rivalz muttered, his head still spinning. Maybe that wasn't the best idea, after all.

"What was that noise?" Rai asked, alarmed, "Did they crash?!"

Pulse fluctuating, Rai pulled back on the controls, promptly ending the nosedive. The good news was that he didn't entirely crash but unfortunately didn't pull up quite fast enough, and nicked the side of the rocky canyon, taking a good chunk out of it.

Lelouch, Kallen, and Suzaku were the only ones left still participating in the exercise. The three pilots were perfectly calm, eyes closed, and focused. Recalling the sensation they felt when they connected with their lions the other day, they concentrated on reviving the same feeling.

Their eyes then opened, Lelouch's Geass flashing in his left retina. There it was, the simultaneous chill and warmth coursing through them as they felt their consciousness dip into a terrain they never knew existed. The loud purrs of their Lions pulsed through their veins, as they felt their presence overshadow them like a blanket or cape, their souls uniting and lining up with their own.

In a flash of gold, the world appeared before their eyes, racing past them as they continued to dive towards the surface. None of them seemed too concerned about it, though. Flawlessly, as if they had been flying for years, they activated their thrusters, just seconds before they collided with the soil. The thrusters propelled them forward across the plain, dodging over rocks and arches, and riding over dips and hills. They were flying them while their eyes were still closed!

"I think I'm getting this," Lelouch said.

"This is… amazing!" Kallen muttered.

"That wasn't too difficult," Suzaku smirked.

"Lelouch, Kallen, Suzaku, excellent!" Coran praised as they glided back towards the sky.

o~o

After everyone returned to the Castle and recovered from the flight exercise, the Paladins found themselves in the training room once again. This time, the Paladins were sitting in a circle, legs crossed, hands in their lap, and eyes closed. On their heads was a piece of fancy headgear, with blue lights probing their temples and in the middle of their foreheads.

"Now, the most important part of Paladin training is being able to meld your minds and focus on one thing: Voltron." Coran calmly instructed in a soothing tone, sounding almost like a yoga instructor.

As the Paladins focused, small screens appeared in front of each of their faces, portraying different things.

Rivalz's showed an image of downtown Area 11 near where he worked.

"Everything else has to fade away."

Milly's showed Ashford Academy's Clubhouse.

"This technique will be essential every time you form Voltron."

Shirley's was the Academy pool.

"So, relax and open your mind."

Suzaku's was an image of a pretty girl with light purple eyes and long pink hair that past her waist, partially in two buns and circles. She was wearing a white and green blouse with an orange skirt and red flats.

"No walls."

Rai had a picture of his favorite park in Area 11.

"No secrets between Paladins."

Kallen's had a picture of her in a yellow tank top and brown shorts, holding some sodas in her hands. She was smiling next to a boy with short auburn hair wearing a red headband, a black shirt, red jacket, and grey jeans. Next to him was another man with curly greyish-brown hair, wearing a light pink shirt and khaki pants, with a light blue towel draped over his shoulders. The picture, though, was hard to make out as it kept glitching.

"Come on, everyone, clear everything."

Finally, Lelouch's showed a young, beautiful girl with long, wavy, light brown hair, eyes closed, wearing a simple green and white dress. She had a lovely, innocent smile on her face and was sitting in a comfortable looking, power-operated wheelchair. A small, barely noticeable tear trailed down the ex-prince's face.

"Now, focus on forming your lion."

The images glitched out until they formed small three-dimensional pictures of the robots in front of them.

"Bring your lions together and- and form Voltron." All the Lions slowly started making their way towards the center of the circle.

"Keep your minds open; work together."

They were almost there, pieces beginning to mold together…

"Good! Keep focusing!"

Well… all except for one.

"Kallen!" Suzaku barked, peeved, "stopping thinking about your boyfriend!"

"I wasn't!" Kallen growled eyebrows arched down in anger, all the images flashing out of existence, "Shirley was rooting around in my head!"

'And for the record,' she added mentally, secretly deeply offended, 'that was not my boyfriend!'

"I-I thought we were open," Shirley hesitantly argued, "you can look in my head hole."

"Everyone has to able to look in everyone's head holes!" Coran reminded sternly from the observation deck above, "Clear your minds!"

Sighing in resignation, Kallen closed her eyes, and this time, the Red Lion's image materialized before her along with the other Lions with the other Paladins.

"Good! Almost there." Coran said as the Lions all began joining together. "Now, form Voltron," Leg joints were attached, a body made up, and arms were slowly locking into place. "Yes!"

Just as the Green Lion was locked into place, though, the Black Lion's images glitched violently.

Lelouch's head jerked up with a violent gasp as if he'd been shocked, eyes snapping open, his left eye glowing red as his Geass flickered. Rai cried out as well as he buckled, his eyes scrunching shut in pain. The other Paladins soon followed as a sharp pain seemed to pierce through their skulls. Their headsets glowing a brighter blue, Voltron falling to pieces as the Lelouch's image overtook it.

When the screen finally cleared an image of a stairway, as if looking down it from the top. Blood was splattered everywhere as three, no, four figures lay in pools of it. Two of them were men dressed in expensive-looking suits. At the same time, the other two, at the very bottom of the steps, was of a woman in an orange dress and long flowing dark hair, covered in bullet holes and blood. Her eyes, presumably a soft, gentle purple, were now faded and dull. In her arms was the trembling form of a little girl, eyes staring forward, traumatized and frightened, hands twitching uncontrollably. Stained glass and the remains of a chandelier were littered all around the sides.

There was screaming, and the Paladins couldn't tell if it was coming from them or this memory. They didn't have time to draw conclusions, though, as they all were suddenly flung backward, the image shattered.

Lelouch blinked, the pain in his head gone. It registered that someone was speaking next to him. Coran's mustached face slowly swam into focus.

"-ladins! Lelouch, are you alright?"

"Coran?" Lelouch breathed, shaking his head to clear it, "What happened?"

"Ah… I wish I could tell you myself. An unexpected glitch with the mind-meld device it seems," the advisor said, doing his best to answer. In all honesty, in his many years of watching King Alfor and the other Paladins train and bond, he never saw anything like this. Though he didn't voice it aloud, he suspected the mind-meld somehow triggered a traumatic memory for Lelouch. And because all the other Paladins were linked to it, they got caught up in it as well, causing some sort of psychic whiplash.

The prince himself quickly realized that the others were talking as well. Anxious and worried expressions plastered on their faces.

"You okay, buddy?"

"Lelouch, what was that?"

"What happened?!"

"Was that Nunnally? What happened?"

"Enough!" Lelouch leaped to his feet, though unsteadily, "I don't want to talk about it, so just leave it OKAY?!"

Every flinched back a little at the outburst but eventually complied.

As everyone watched Lelouch breathe to calm down, Milly and Suzaku were the only ones that looked the least shocked, but no less disturbed. Both of them knew what memory that was. It was one that cost Milly's family their nobility status, as well as what led Lelouch and his sister, Nunnally, being sent to Japan in the first place. Both of them knew the story, but seeing it with their own eyes just now only seemed to amplify the reality of it even further.

The day that Empress Marianne vi Britannia was found shot to death at Aries Villa in the Britannian Palace.

o~o

Coran decided to take the silence as a way to call a break time, handing out small packages of water that looked very similar in design to Capri Suns on Earth. Despite the appreciated rest, Lelouch didn't miss the suspicious and anxious looks that all but Milly and Suzaku were giving him. He even noticed Coran shoot him one before he could hide.

"Fantastic…" he muttered low enough that no one heard, sucking forcibly on his straw.

"You all have been working hard. A small break may help," Coran said, overlooking them.

Their break was short-lived, however, when Allura came tromping through the door, hands on her hips and the four mice perched on her shoulders. "What are you doing lying around?! You're supposed to be training!"

"Just resting a bit," Coran calmly explained, not in the mood to tell as to why they were, "You know, you can't push too hard."

That didn't seem to appease the Princess at all as she shot back, "What do you mean, 'can't push too hard'?" She seemed to miss the exasperated looks that most of the Paladins were giving her, except Suzaku. He was actually quite used to being ordered around harshly like this. Kallen especially looked bitter, almost purposefully slurping her drink loudly.

"Get up, you lazy lumps! It's time you face the gladiator!"

o~o

After her rather harsh order, the Paladins soon found themselves in similar positions for when they were fighting the drones. Their backs were facing each other, but much farther apart now.

"In order to defeat the gladiator, seven Paladins must fight as one," Coran instructed back up in the deck.

A port from the ceiling soon opened up with a hiss, and a giant, slender humanoid bot gracefully fell to the floor, a battle staff clutched in its hands. With a flash of blue light, it charged at the first Paladin it saw, which happened to be Shirley.

With a gasp of panic, Shirley readied her bow and fired a series of shots that she tried to aim at it, only for Kallen to have to throw up her shield to keep them from hitting her. With a fast spin, the gladiator knocked the Orange Paladin off her feet, causing her to fall hard on her back. With the wind already knocked out of her, the gladiator's staff struck her stomach with an electrical spark, knocking her unconscious.

Milly quickly charged it with her kusarigama, only for the attack to be blocked with the staff. It barraged the Yellow Paladin with a series of violent strikes, which she managed to block with the chain part of her weapon. But eventually, with a sharp jab at her ribs, she was also flung backward, hitting Shirley in the process.

Rivalz used this opportunity to fire some shots with his rifle, but the gladiator danced around the shots like a pro, causing Rivalz to have to block and back away defensively. Eventually, it knocked the gun from his hands, and the bot hit him hard on the head before swinging around, almost clocking off Lelouch's if he hadn't ducked.

'How does the Princess expect me to fight?! I don't even have a weapon!' Lelouch ranted mentally as he tried to summon that strange power that he got last time he had fought the weird red lightning. But either that was a one-time fluke or could only be done in specific environments.

The gladiator then hit Rivalz again before also sweeping him in the stomach, twirling him around until he crashed into Lelouch, knocking them both to the ground.

Rai flashed his katar out and knelt in ready position for the gladiator to approach. As it charged, the room suddenly grew dark, bright blue being replaced with vile magenta. No longer a gladiator charging, but a whole legion of sentries. Galra sentries.

With a terrified whimper, Rai froze, eyes blown wide like a deer caught in headlights.

Suzaku managed to jump in front of Rai and block the strike for the Green Paladin with his own Bayard. Kallen was by his side a moment later.

"Rai, what wrong?" she asked, "Are you okay?"

Suzaku grit his teeth as the robot moved, aiming to disarm and trip him, but Suzaku saw the movement and jumped to avoid the strike. Kallen pushed Rai out of the way as the bot leaped over Suzaku for her. Her cestus managed to catch the staff between its claws, and with a quick twist, the staff went flying in the other direction. Suzaku took the opportunity and sliced through the bot's abdomen. With a shutter, it collapsed before dissolving into the floor.

Despite the ultimate victory, though, Allura was not impressed.

"That combat simulator was set at a level fit for an Altean child! You're not even close to working as a team, let alone ready to face Zarkon!"

"Oh, really!" Kallen finally exploded, she'd had about enough with this lady, alien princess or not, "Thanks for a load of confidence! Well, newsflash Princess: We're. Not. Alteans! While we've been in this room working our asses off all day, I haven't exactly seen you participating in any this bull!"

"Kallen!" Suzaku gasped in slight horror, though he had to agree with her partially, his patience simmering as well. But who on Earth was this girl? What happened to the sick, feeble Kallen Stadtfeld they were all used to? From the looks on most of the others, except Lelouch, they were all thinking very similarly.

"Yeah, I said it! Besides, you didn't even give Lelouch a weapon! I get that we don't have his Bayard thingy right now, but you could've at least given him a knife, or a gun, or something!"

Allura, absolutely appalled by the lack of respect, was about to retaliate when another voice beat her to it.

"You know," C.C. casually walked down from the deck she'd occupied with Coran, "if you really wish to know how they'll take this training to the battlefield, I'd recommend a more… strategic approach."

"What are you talking about?" Allura snapped. She'd had just about enough of this nonsense and insubordination.

"Well, think about it," the green-haired woman continued. "Sure, strength and brawn are essential in battle, but they can easily become worthless and overbearing if they know not where to place it. It takes strategy and a sound mind to truly win. All I'm trying to say is that if you wish to know how well they'll survive, you need to test them… mentally as well."

Coran, intrigued with C.C.'s logic, asked for further clarification.

"I'm not exactly sure how your people had risen through the ranks on Altea, but on Earth, it's one's mind and cunning that will get them places. Lelouch, for example, is possibly one of the greatest minds I've ever seen."

"Oh yeah!" Rivalz said in agreement, "All those times I've seen Lelouch play chess, I've NEVER seen anyone beat him."

"Chess?" Coran asked the name sounded familiar, "does this happen to be a game as well?"

"It can be, but there's a lot of people on our planet that play it competitively too," Milly added.

"Hmmm… does it involve black and white pieces that only move in certain directions, depending on the role they play?"

"Wait," Shirley said, voicing most of the paladins' shared shock. "You know what chess is?!"

"Why it's only one of the most ancient games in Altean history!" Coran exclaimed excitedly, "Why I remember when I was a lad, my grandfather, and I would go at it for varga on end! I do recall that your father attempted to get you into the game yourself, Princess."

Princess Allura actually smiled, recalling her childhood. Chess had been one of her father's favorite games. She had never caught onto the game, but she remembered her father would use the game for strategies with the old paladins, calling out individual pieces to represent each of them and other forces they were working with.

"You seem quite versed in the game," Lelouch smirked as he sat up next to Rai.

Coran just grinned, "Ho-oh! Is that a challenge that I'm hearing?"

"Perhaps. Though what Rivalz speaks is true, I can count the number of people who have actually beaten me on the one hand."

"Righty-oh then!" Coran whooped, practically skipping out the door, "Let's see if I can't hunt down that board, and we'll play a round!"

"I'll look forward it," Lelouch chuckled almost deviously.

"What just happened?" Kallen asked, blinking.

"No idea," Suzaku admitted with a nervous laugh.

Shortly after, Coran did indeed find the chessboard, covered in about a foot of dust, but still in one piece and all pieces intact. After setting it up, the Altean was practically shaking in excitement. Lelouch had smirked in amusement, Coran was undoubtedly one of the most enthusiastic opponents he'd ever played as everyone else gathered around to spectate the match.

The match itself had been quite eventful, Coran's attitude was competitive but cheerful throughout the entire game. Lelouch had to admit, despite his silly and overly eccentric demeanor, Coran proved to be quite the adversary on the board.

Ultimately though, Lelouch ended up destroying the Altean, losing only three pawns and a bishop overall. From the start of his signature move with the king, all the Paladins could tell that Lelouch had everything under control. Though secretly, the prince believed the Altean may have been going a little easy on him.

Despite the defeat, though, after the initial shock, Coran openly congratulated the Paladin on an outstanding match and gave his wishes to play him again on a later date, which Lelouch cordially accepted.

"I do have a slight question, though."

"Oh? And what is that?"

"You started the game with the king piece. I assume you understand the risk that takes place by doing so."

"Heh, heh, true," Lelouch had admitted, "however, if a king doesn't lead, how do you expect his soldiers to follow?"

Coran's eyebrows raised in surprise, before twirling his mustache inquisitively. "I see. An interesting mindset you have, Lelouch."

o~o

"Ahoy, young paladins!" Coran said about an hour later. The Paladins gathered around the dining table. In front of them were plates loaded with food goo and even more in bowls along the table as well as small pink packages or what they assumed was… well... more food goo. "I've whipped up a big batch of focusing food. After this meal, you'll be forming Voltron six times a movement and twice on the astral conflux."

"Smells great, Coran," Rai said on behalf of all of them, "Thanks!"

Before the Paladins could even dip their sporks in for a first bite, Coran threw up his arm, which was hiding a remote control. With a swift click of a button, the Paladins' arms were chained to one another from cuffs that appeared from the floor.

"Hold the phone!" Rivalz protested in shock. Similar expressions marred the faces of the other members.

"I saw a lot of solid individual performances today," Coran commentated, expression and tone suddenly serious, "but you're still struggling to work as a team. So, welcome to the final bonding exercise of the day."

"Coran," Milly said in a warning tone after she and a couple of others pulled on the cuffs to see if they'd budge. They didn't, "I highly advise thinking about what you're doing!"

Coran simply grinned, "Oh, this one's a classic. You get to feed each other, like a pack of yalmors!"

Despite the supposedly optimistic attitude, only glares and groans of frustration emanated from the paladins. This was going to be a long meal.

o~o

A hulking device, illuminated by purple light, stood firm and tall. Wires interconnected it and a small floor port. It was not on as the vital source had not transferred yet.

The tyrannical emperor watched from the floor above. He trusted completely in the witch's creation. The Paladins were still young and inexperienced, and this would bring them to their knees.

The witch herself lifted her bony hand, and a capsule containing the muscular prisoner rose to the surface. It was grinning in malicious excitement. Finally, after all this time, it would have its revenge.

She thrust her hands out with a single grunt, her robes and hair billowing in an invisible wind.

The creature roared in agony before all was consumed in the light. The floor and wiring lighting up with life that transferred into the giant mech behind him. Lights sprang on as it opened it's 'eyes,' one yellow, one a slit white.

o~o

"Ah-augh!" Shirley gasped as her food goo went flying from her spork, her fist colliding with her face.

"Sorry!" Rivalz said sincerely. She groaned as she reached down for another scoop, only her to accidentally bite the Blue Paladin's hand rather than the spork.

"Ew!" he flinched back involuntarily, causing the goo to fly in the other direction. This time he tried to move a little more with the Orange Paladin, only to pull Suzaku with him, the Purple Paladin's hand landing flat in his the green goop. "Oh nice Suzaku, you defiled my food goo!"

"It's your fault!" Suzaku protested, "You moved too suddenly!"

"Urgh!" Kallen growled, "This is ridiculous!"

"Do Earthlings ever stop complaining," Allura asked haughtily. She and C.C. had joined the Paladins at the dining table. Only the Princess's royal etiquette training had kept her from bursting into a long stream of suggestive exclamations as she attempted to eat her platter.

"On good days, not very often," C.C. said, poking and rolling her goo about her plate. She wasn't sure where these Alteans learned to cook, but would it have killed them to at least provide something that looked a little similar to pizza? She was ordering herself a lifetime supply once they got back to Earth. She didn't care if she ran Lelouch's wallet and bank account entirely into the ground.

"C.C., the sarcasm is not appreciated," Lelouch said, glaring at the immortal.

"Can't you just give us a break?" Milly queried, her tone highly annoyed, "Everyone's been working really hard today!"

"Yeah!" Rai jumped up, fed up with her attitude, "We're not some prisoners for you to toy with, like… like…" he was drawing a blank with his insult.

"Like a bunch of toy prisoners!"

"Yes! Thank you, Rivalz!"

"Guys!" Suzaku protested, appalled at the others' behavior, "Look, I get that everyone's upset, but that gives you no right to disrespect the Princess."

"Ha! At least one of you has some manners; he's correct!" Coran reprimanded.

"Oh, the princess of what?" Kallen spat, her face almost going as red as her hair with rage, "We're the only ones out here, and she's no princess of ours!"

Kallen probably would've continued her rant had a giant blob of food goo not hit her smack in the face. The culprit being Princess Allura herself, her spork in front of her and her free hand moving away as if she'd just used it to flick something… which she totally did.

The room went completely silent, and still, Kallen was frozen in place, trying to process what the heck just happened, even C.C. paused in between her bites.

'She really should not have done that!' Lelouch noted, silently panicking. He'd seen Kallen when she was angry, and the Princess was walking on some thin ice right now!

It didn't seem possible for Kallen's face to get any redder, but she grit her teeth and practically snarled at the Altean, her eyes drilling holes into her head.

"Oh, it's on!" She screamed as she grabbed the closest thing she could catch, it being Rai's entire plate of goo. Together with the platinum blonde, they both flung it in her direction.

Allura gasped in shock. Just before it could hit her, Coran batted it away with his serving towel, and with a giant, graceful swoop of a ladle, sent a large glob right back at them. It collided head-on with each Paladin at the table.

C.C. wisely lowered herself to the ground and hid in the safety of the underground table.

'Okay, that's IT!' Lelouch roared in his head, before abruptly rising from his seat himself. Now he was mad; his patience had been strained far enough, "PALADINS! I COMMAND YOU TO ATTACK!"

"YES SIR!" they exclaimed in unison, as they grabbed their weapons (plates and utensils) and started hurling them at the Alteans. Even Suzaku, who usually attempted to be as cordial as possible with royalty had reached his limit, as his food fling hit their adversaries square in the face. Allura and Coran quickly returning fire of their own.

Armageddon quickly pursued. Bowls and plates overturned, green goo hit the walls and chairs, proving to be very futile shelters from the sharp aims from both sides. However, the Paladins still found themselves much more exposed as they were still tied together.

By the time calm fell back on the group, nobody had escaped the wrath of the food goo. Plates scattered over the table, and almost all the chairs overturned. The goo clung to their hair and armor, some of it still dripping and sliding down their faces. They would all definitely need showers after this.

The Paladins all blinked, their minds coming out of a haze of adrenaline. They all looked at each other, confused about what the heck just happened… before bursting into good-natured laughter. Sure, they were all still covered in food, but at this very moment, they didn't care. It was actually even fun!

"Enough!" Allura suddenly shouted, bringing the laughter to a halt. And here came the lecture. Not only had they started a food fight and made a massive mess of the dining hall, but their two hosts had been the targets of their uncontrolled ire. "Do you see what you're doing?!"

Here it comes…

Allura lifted her head, a wide grin on her face, "You're finally working together as one!"

They blinked. What happened to the- wait!

"Hey! She's right!" Rivalz realized with a grin of his own.

"I… actually don't hate you guys right now," Kallen admitted, smiling genuinely.

"Yeah! Totally!" Shirley nodded.

"Best bonding exercise ever!" Milly cheered, yanking her's and Lelouch's arm in the air.

"You all thinking what I'm thinking?" Suzaku asked triumphantly.

"Let's go form Voltron!" Lelouch proclaimed.

"YEAH!" Everyone was jumping in the air…. Before losing balance and falling on top of each other.

After taking some time to untangle themselves and wipe off the goo, the team confidently marched to their Lions.

One elevator, zip line, pod tunnel, and a second elevator later, all the Paladins were situated in their Lions.

"Is everyone ready?" Lelouch asked, gripping the Black Lion's controls, eyes lighting up.

"Roger that!" Rai answered.

"It's on!" Rivalz cheered.

"Yes, sir!" Kallen replied.

"I was born ready!" Shirley grinned.

"Up and at'em!" Milly quipped.

"Ready to proceed!" Suzaku said boldly.

"Then let's go!" Lelouch ordered. With a mighty roar that shook the room, the Black Lion flew up and out of the hanger.

"YEAH!"

Just like with their battle with Sendak, the same feeling of 'oneness' washed over the seven Paladins, as their lions converged with eager bellows, appendages retracting and sliding into place. Arms, legs, knees, and at last, the head. Voltron's strong face shown once again as it flew across the sky and landed gently in the field, Allura, C.C., and Coran watching a safe distance away.

"I told you I could get them to do it." Allura said, "They just needed a common enemy."

"It's true. Like the old proverb says, 'A man can be driven to do anything, if a beautiful woman is just really, really mean to him."

C.C. burst into a series of giggles as a peeved Allura scowled at her advisor.

'Oh, if only they knew how true that is!'

o~o

"Man, that was cool!" Rivalz exclaimed in the lounge later, "I'm so charged up, I don't know if I'm gonna be able to sleep tonight!"

"Not me," Kallen smirked, "When my head hits the pillow, I'm gonna be lights out."

"I just want you to know," Shirley said emotionally, sliding between Rivalz and Kallen, "that I realized when we were in Voltron, we're family!" She slung her arms tightly around the Blue and Red Paladins, pulling them close, "You know? Like, we're totally connected. No secrets, no barriers, no nothing. A family all the way. I love you guys!"

"Indeed, we are!" Milly proclaimed, "In this together. The romance of the three kingdoms: 'It matters not that we were born apart, but upon this day we die as one!'"

"Is that your idea of a love quote?" Rivalz asked.

"If one of us goes down, then we all do," Milly smirked mischievously.

"...That's a little dark there, Milly," Rai said, "don't you think Suzaku?"

The Green Paladin gasped as he saw Suzaku's eyes slowly tear up, "I'm glad," he sniffled and wiped the tears that were falling, "that we can all be together, you know like this?"

Lelouch smiled at his friend, very similar feelings rising in him as well.

Rivalz then sprung up and practically tackled Suzaku to the floor, legs and arms wrapping around him, "Oh come on! We're supposed to be unwinding right now!" Everyone laughed at the engagement.

"But that's what's so refreshing about Suzaku, though," Shirley said.

"Yeah, though once in a while, you just want him to get a clue, you know?" Milly answered hands on her hips.

"Oh, sorry about that," the Purple Paladin answered, Rivalz squishing his cheeks playfully.

"Oh, but you love it, don't you puddy tat!" Another round of laughter enveloped them; even Kallen was laughing at the silliness.

"G-forces messing with your heads a little bit?" Lelouch inquired with a grin.

"Maybe a little bit," Rivalz admitted as he and Suzaku untangled.

"Well, I'm gonna head to bed," Kallen said, standing up and heading for the stairs, "see you all tomorrow."

"Yeah, I like the sound of that," Rai murmured, eyes suddenly starting to droop. Most of the team began heading for the exit when Shirley noticed Lelouch still sitting down.

"Aren't you going to bed, Lulu?"

"In a minute," the Black Paladin replied with a small smile.

"Don't stay up too late, Lulu," Milly scolded light-heartedly, "you don't have the excuse of late-night gambling here!"

Lelouch just laughed as everyone exited the room. As he found himself alone again, though, he let out a tired sigh. Lelouch reached into his burgundy pocket and pulled out a small photograph that had been lounging in it since they'd left Earth. He'd only shown this picture to a few select people.

He was about eight or nine years of age in the photo, dressed in a majestic white suit and white cravat decorating his neck. He was standing next to a beautiful woman in a dark navy gown and a large white and blue headpiece sitting on a small bench overlooking a beautiful garden. The woman was holding a little girl's hand, about six or seven years of age in a pale pink dress with puce trimming, her light brown hair tied in two high ponytails.

Two of the space mice that had been in the room with them came closer, squeaking in concern, the smallest, Chulatt, perching on his shoulder and the larger green one, Platt, on his thigh.

"If you plan to keep this charade going, Lelouch," C.C. said, emerging from the shadows, still dressed in her straight-jacket she'd been wearing all day, "you'll have to tell them eventually."

He let out a long, tired sigh, "I know…"

o~o

A ship prepared for launch at Zarkon's main base. Not just any ship. This one carried a weapon that would bring Voltron to its knees.

"This beast will allow us to destroy the Paladins," the emperor himself sneered next to Haggar, "And then, Voltron will be ours."

With a whoosh of fire, the ship took off into the cosmos. The destination: Arus. Target: Voltron.

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

when he smiled [chapter one]

Summary: Louis is horribly wounded after the defeat of the raiders. 

Preview: And when Lily’s knife finally plunged deep into Louis’ shoulder and he let out an anguished cry, Clem saw red.

She couldn’t remember the seething scream that bubbled from her lungs or yanking the used arrow from a walkers head and aiming, but before she could even think, the arrow shot through the side of the woman’s neck with a sickening sound.

Warnings: Blood, violence, and Louis does get pretty damn hurt, so....there. 

Author’s Note: Sorry, I’m trying my hand at writing some angsty clouis with an alternative look at how the fight could’ve gone. There’ll be more chapters in the future if anyone’s interested.

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 |  Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 [coming soon]

Clem couldn’t see Lily.

And, fuck, after the explosion everything just... happened so fast.

But, that didn’t matter right now. All that mattered was that everyone had gathered into the school, ready to attack. Even Mitch and Willy had managed to drag Omar in and keep him hidden while they waited for the raiders to barge through their front door and into their trap. The log took out two of them, leaving Abel to chase the group up the stairs. It was a mess of frantic heartbeats, curses and struggling against the one-armed man, but Clem managed to shove him out the window after AJ went all out with the fire poker, stabbing the gross old man several times.

Clem carefully peered out the window and saw her.

Lily and one of her men had a hold of Tenn.

They moved quickly. Her and AJ practically stumbled out of the burning room and carefully headed outside where Clem drew her bow. Lily and the man were roughly pulling a struggling Tenn over to a cage. 

Before Clem could get her bow ready, a violent cry broke through the air as Mitch charged the man from the side, sending the two tumbling to the ground as Mitch’s fist collided with the man’s face until there was nothing but blood spurting. Through it all, Tenn broke free from the off-guard Lily just as Clem fired.

The arrow pierced Lily’s leg and she fell back before she could reach Mitch.

Tenn grabbed at Mitch’s sleeve and begged him to stop, breaking Mitch of his bloodthirsty anger, and the two ran to join Willy and Aasim, who were firing arrows from the top floor.

Clem continued to shoot from her and AJ’s hiding spot, hitting both raiders and the walkers stumbling through the gate. She saw Louis and Violet, weapons in hand, killing walkers back to back and watching out for one another.

However, more and more walkers kept barging in, and most getting a hold of the fallen raiders trying to crawl to safety.

“Shit!” Clem called out. “Everyone inside! Now!”

Violet rushed at Clem, slicing the head of a walker in half on her way. “Fuck!”

Behind her, she could hear Mitch cursing and Ruby hollering something about Omar’s leg. Clem shot another arrow, killing a walker, but it seemed that for every one she successfully killed, three more replaced it. She cursed under her breath, turning to AJ, who stayed beside her, shooting walkers. 

She spotted Louis. He knocked over another walker, meeting her eye and calling out, “Go! I’m right behind you!”

“Hurry!”

Quickly, she hurried into the shelter of the school. 

“AJ, c’mon!”

---

AJ didn’t follow her, though. The boy had his gaze fixated on Abel, grunting and crawling towards him.

 “You fff-ffucking little shit!” he croaked.

With a broken leg and a missing arm, he had no chance. AJ reached for his gun, holding his breath. He had promised Clem that he wouldn’t kill the man that haunted his nightmares. After all, he lost.

Still, he pointed the gun at the suffering man, thoughts buzzing with rights and wrongs. This man was a monster, and monsters die. This man would hurt them if he lived, even without an arm and a leg. 

But, for the first time, AJ hesitated. 

Don’t hesitate.

Always aim for the head. 

Before he could pull the trigger, AJ was yanked back by his coat. “Ah!” 

“C’mere!” 

The woman had a hold of him and his gun.

---

Inside, Clem was in the office with everyone.

Everyone...

She turned toward the door.

“Where’s Louis?” Panic settled in. 

Violet shook her head. “Shit, I thought he followed me!”

“Clem-”

“Shit!”

Clem turned to Tenn, noticing his wide, frightened eyes searching the room. Immediately she knew what he was looking for. 

Her insides twisted. 

“AJ-!”

He was just-

“Clementine!” Lily’s shout stopped Clem in her tracks. “Clementine! Get your ass out here! I know you’re in there!”

“Fuck! Clem!” Violet grabbed her arm and yanked her toward the broken window.

There stood Lily, her arm wrapped around AJ’s neck with her gun to his head. She seemed to vibrate with furious pain as she glared at the building.

“Your kid’s right here, Clementine!” Lily snarled. “You can have him back if you come out!”

“Clem,” Tenn’s quivering voice sounded beside her. 

“I’ll shoot him! I will!” 

“Lily! Don’t you fucking dare!”

“You want him alive!?” Lily exclaimed, pressing the gun right to AJ’s temple. “Then do as I say!”

A million thoughts ran through Clem’s brain. None coherent, none plausible.

“Fuck, I’ll kill that bitch!” Mitch exclaimed, ready to go out there before Aasim and Willy stopped him.  

“We can’t just charge her! She’ll shoot him!” Aasim argued.

“She’ll shoot him anyway if we don’t charge her!” Mitch snapped back. 

“Fuck! Fuck!” 

“We need a plan-” Violet was cut off. 

“Clementine!” Lilly shouted. “I’ll count to three! If you and your friends aren’t down here, he gets a bullet in his head!”

“No!” cried Tenn.

“Oh shit...” Violet hissed. “Louis!” 

“ONE!”

Clem’s heart practically broke right out of her chest when she spotted Louis through the window, crouched down, avoiding walkers and carefully approaching Lily.

“TWO!”

Clem shoved away from the window and ran faster than ever before.

“Clementine, wait-!”

“THREE-AUGH!”

By the time she reached the staircase, a shot rang out.

“AJ!”

---

Louis wasn’t thinking. 

 Everything moved so fast; his swings at the walkers and his frantic search for anyone needing help. When he didn’t see anyone else left besides himself, Clem and AJ, he was supposed to hurry inside. 

But, when he saw AJ neglect to follow Clem and approached the man with the broken leg instead, he didn’t. 

And thank God he didn’t. 

He had no qualms attacking this woman, tackling her to the ground.

The second you put a gun to the temple of a young child, the gloves come off. 

He wasn’t letting AJ die because of some vindictive woman and her army fantasy.

Not AJ.

---

Bursting through the front doors, Clem spotted him instantly.

AJ was curled up on his knees, hands pressed over his ringing ears and face twisted with agony. Luckily, no bullet wounds in him. Practically jumping off the stairs, Clem rushed to AJ.

“AJ!”

When she reached him, she realized Louis had Lily pinned a few feet away, and walkers surrounded them. 

“No!” Clem cried out. “Walkers!”

Violet, Mitch, Aasim, and Willy charged out, weapons drawn and began taking down as many walkers as possible. Within the mess, Clementine pulled AJ into her arms and shoved past the walkers to the safety of the dorm, leaving him with Ruby, Tenn, and Omar.

“What’s happenin’ out there!?” exclaimed Ruby. She had blood smeared on her hands from patching up Omar’s leg. 

“Walkers are everywhere!”

“The raiders-!”

“They’re dead, or gone, but- fuck! We need you out here, Ruby!”

“Go,” Omar urged. “I’m fine, just go!”

Ruby nodded firmly, pulling out her weapon. Clem turned to AJ, who still kept his ears covered. 

“AJ, watch Omar.”

He did very little to protest. 

Outside, Clem’s eyes searched frantically for Louis. She found him struggling with Lily, an expression of absolute fury on his face, unlike anything she’s ever seen on him. 

“Keep the walkers off him!” Clem shouted. She pulled out her knife and fought her way towards the struggle. 

---

Louis forced most of his weight onto Lily’s chest. He fought to keep her pinned,  but she managed to curve her non-wounded leg up and land a blow to his gut.

 Louis grunted, losing his balance and loosening his grip on one of her wrists. The result was a well-found blow to his jaw. Blood sputtered from his mouth and dripped onto Lily’s face.

With adrenaline and the will to fight pulsing through him, Louis’ dull nails clawed into Lily’s face and throat. 

Her response was a knife in his side. 

Pain enveloped his body.

---

Through the mass of walkers, Clem watched in absolute horror as Lily fought Louis off of her and reversed their positions. Grabbing her knife, Lily held it above her head and thrust it down towards Louis.

“Louis!”

The knife hit the ground beside his head as Louis ducked forward, grunting in pain. Lily rammed her knee into his stomach, right next to the fresh wound. This time, she put all her weight into the punch she landed on his cheek. It left him dazed, the world shifting between black and orange, throbbing, aching.

The woman above him stuck again, and again, and again.

---

Lily didn’t just want him dead.

No, her fury was hot, blinding.

It reflected in the flames of her eyes.

The world had collapsed.

Her people were dead.

She had nothing but the rushing sound in her ears and the boy under her. 

She wanted to make him unrecognizable, nothing but flesh, blood, and dirt...

---

And when Lily’s knife finally plunged deep into Louis’ shoulder and he let out an anguished cry, Clem saw red.

She couldn’t remember the seething scream that bubbled from her lungs or yanking the used arrow from a walkers head and aiming, but before she could even think, the arrow shot through the side of the woman’s neck with a sickening sound.

Lily shot up, dropping her knife and holding her neck. She fell atop a horrified Louis, twitching and gurgling blood.

Then, Clem watched as Louis went limp. Even though the fire burned around her, ice ran through her veins and her heart plummeted into her stomach.

“No!” she cried.

She ran to them, yanking Lily off him and grasping his swelling face in her trembling hands. “Louis!” 

He didn’t respond. 

“Fuck! Clem!” Violet killed a walker from behind Clem before rushing to her side. “Goddammit, Louis!” 

Clem shook her head. “No!” She pressed her palm against his neck. His pulse beat slow and harm compared to hers, so panicked and distraught. His chest rose and shuttered with every tiny gasp that escaped his lips.

“Is-is he-”

“We need to get him to Ruby! Now!”

“Ruby!” Violet called over. “Mitch! Aasim!”

“Oh God!” Ruby gasped, running to the call of her name. “No!”

The rest was a blur for her. Clementine watched the last of the walkers fall from arrows to the head and the flames spread as Louis, wounded and unconscious, was carried in. 

Clem knew there couldn’t possibly be a word to describe how she felt in that moment. 

She turned to Lily’s body. 

Lily was dead. 

And Clem could do nothing more than take her knife and make sure she wasn’t ever, ever coming back. 

---

“Figured out what to call the song.”

“Oh?”

“’Clementine,’“ he grinned. “Obviously. You know, because I like fruit.  And... I like you even more. So.... there.” 

Her eyes darted to his smile.

“Gotta admit, of all the things I saw coming, you having a crush on me was not one of them.”

A crush...

What an understatement.

He spoke, and all she could focus on was the movement of his lips. And when he smiled, so wide, so genuine, she was done for. 

She didn’t mean for the hum to escape her throat when she kissed him.

Or the sigh. 

She kissed him.

And she kissed him...

“Clem...?”

She kissed him...

She’d been spacing out. 

The quiet was such a contrast.

Her gaze focused, searching over the various familiar faces for the source of the voice. Rosie rested beside her with her head in Clem’s lap.

AJ watched her cautiously, his hands pressing together nervously. His wide eyes flickered from her to the door. “Clem, can I go in?” he asked quietly. 

“No,” she replied. “We... we need to give Ruby space to work.”

“But, someone should be there with him,” protested AJ. “To tell him he’s okay and he’s gonna get better.” 

Clem sighed. “The best thing you can do for him right now, AJ, is to let Ruby concentrate on saving him.” She told not only him this, but herself. 

Clem wanted nothing more than to go in there and help Ruby, but she demanded that everyone but Aasim, who promised to shut up and hand her whatever she needed, to leave. 

No one was happy about it. 

“She’s right, AJ,” said Violet. “Ruby knows what she’s doing. She fixed you, remember?”

AJ nodded, though not entirely convinced. 

“Fuck!” Mitch kicked the wall. He ran his fingers through his messy hair before rubbing at his face. 

“Knock it off,” Violet scowled. “You’re not helping.”

“If we had all gone after that bitch, then this wouldn’t’ve happened!”

“Or,” Violet interjected. “More of us would be injured, or worse.” 

“We would’ve had a better chance! She wouldn’t have been able to handle all of us if we attacked at once!”

“Coulda, shoulda, woulda! It doesn’t matter anymore-”

“It doesn’t matter? Louis is fucking dying in there-!”

“I said, knock it the fuck off!”

“This is our fault-!”

“Stop!” Clem spoke, breaking the argument. 

Mitch stared at her before looking down at his feet. He uncrossed his arms and bit at his lips,  looking at the dry blood staining his fingertips. His face was a cocktail of rage and remorse. 

After a long silence, he murmured, “I’m not digging another grave.”

“Mitch-” Violet warned. 

He turned and walked away from them, muttering, “I won’t. Not another one.” 

They watched him go. 

Clem could see the panic settle on Willy’s face as he scrambled to his feet and followed Mitch down the hall. 

I’m not digging another grave.

I’m not digging another grave.

Heat pressed against the back of Clem’s throat.

“He’s just freaked out,” said Omar. He lay on the couch, drowsy, with his leg properly bandaged. His brows furrowed with worry. “I’m freaked out, too.” Omar closed his eyes, leaning back against the armrest. “Never been shot before... Hell, never seen Louis in such... bad shape.”

“That’s putting it lightly,” muttered Violet. 

“He...” Tenn stuttered. “he... couldn’t even open his eyes. O-or speak.”

“He’s gonna be okay, though, right?” AJ turned to Clem with worried hope reflecting in his stare. “Ruby’s gonna fix him like she did with me?”  He reached over and held onto her sleeve. “Clem?”

Clem said nothing. 

Neither did anyone else. 

[ancientbooshartifacts]

Get Inside You, Boy

Author: Culumacilinte

Year: 2008

Rating: R

Pairing: Howard/Spirit of Jazz

Asleep in his bed, Howard Moon shifted fitfully, rolling onto his side and bunching up his pillow under his head.  His lips moved imperceptibly, muttering nonsense syllables.  In the cold moonlight filtering through the window, a sheen of sweat glimmered on his forehead, making damp curls stick to the skin.

A voice sifted through his dreams, interrupting a particularly pleasant image of Mrs. Gideon sorting bookmarks while Howard looked on with a fond smile.

Howard Moon…

He whimpered a little and his knees drew themselves up to his chest, his slumbering brain focussing harder on the image of Mrs. Gideon.

Wake up, boy!  I’s talkin’ to you.

Mrs. Gideon looked around, the lines of a frown twisting her smooth, creamy brow.  ‘Howard?  Did you hear that?’

Dream-Howard shook his head nervously and adjusted his monocle.  ‘That’s nothing, Mrs. Gideon; nothing to worry your head about.’

Mrs. Gideon gave him a brilliant smile, laying a hand on his arm.  ‘Oh, you are so kind to me, Howard.  How is your novel coming, by the way?  The first draft was absolutely riveting!’

Her approval and recognition, even when it was nothing more than a dream, sent a glow to Howard’s heart and his face broadened in a dazzling grin.  Both grin and glow died, however, the instant the voice spoke again.

Shut up, girlie!  The voice was more insistent now, and was beginning to sound decidedly irritated.  This boyo’s mine.  Wake up, Howard Moon; get your fine ass outta them dreams and listen t’me!

Beneath his sheets, Howard trembled, clutching his comforter tight around him, his brow contorted in pig-headed persistence that he stay asleep.  The Howard in his dream trembled too, but he had nothing to clutch to him, and so instead put a comforting hand on Mrs. Gideon’s shoulder, trying his best to look manly and confident, a proper son of Leeds.  She, however, seemed not to have heard the voice at all and continued blissfully sorting her bookmarks.

‘Go away!’  Howard hissed, ‘Leave me alone!  I was having a good dream!’

The invisible voice chuckled cruelly.  Leave you alone, boy?  That ain’t never gonna happen.  You’s mine, baby, and when I call, you’s gonna answer me.  Y’ain’t got no choice.

Fists clenched at Howard’s sides, and he stared determinedly down at the ground.  ‘I have a choice, sir!  I am Howard Moon, Man of Action!  They call me Monsoon Moon; I’m a maverick!  You try and tell me what to do, and I’ll come at you like a skipping rope!  Like a-’

But the voice cut him off.

Mmm, yeah, you’s a maverick, peachy-face; but what kinda maverick, Howard Moon?  You know the answer.

Howard’s face fell; there was no denying it now, and both he and the owner of the invisible voice knew it.  ‘Jazz Maverick,’ He muttered, defeated.  The voice cackled exultantly.

That’s right!  You’s the Jazz Maverick, Howard Moon, and when the Spirit o’ Jazz tells you to wake up, you damn well wake!

The last word was almost a shout; or as close to a shout as the raspy voice of the Spirit of Jazz ever got, and Howard shot up in his bed with a yell.  It took a moment for his eyes to adjust to the darkness, but when they did… there was nothing.  Just darkness, and a square of blue rippling across the bedsheets where the moonlight came in.  He sagged against the headboard and closed his eyes, exhaling a quavering sigh of relief.

‘Thank god,’ he muttered into his chest.

‘Who ya thanking there, boy?  God?  He ain’t got nothin’ t’do with it.’

‘Augh!’

Howard’s eyes snapped open.  There at the foot of the bed stood the Spirit of Jazz, legs crossed and arms out in that familiar, overly-dramatic pose, white suit and top hat almost luminous in the darkness.  His eyes glowed red against the cool darkness of Howard’s room.  Howard was swamped with a sensation of complete and utter horror, any relief he had felt at seeing the room empty lost in an instant.  A prickle of goose bumps broke out on the skin of his forearms.

‘Missed me, have you boy?  Been a long time since I visited you.’

Howard trembled.  ‘What are you doing here?’  He asked quietly, ‘Haven’t you already troubled me enough?’

The Spirit of Jazz laughed raucously, baring disturbingly black teeth.  ‘Enough, sweetness?’  He echoed, ‘I ain’t never had enough, Howard!  And I been robbed o’ your fine self for so many years, after all...’

‘What do you want?’

He had begun to pull himself together, Howard.  At least, his voice shook less, and the look in his eyes was calmer, but inside, he was trembling like a tiny little girl from Leeds, albeit a tiny little girl with a moustache.  The Spirit of Jazz sneered at him, strangely pink tongue running over those black teeth.  He’d been inside Howard Moon; he knew this man, and he could practically taste his fear.  He could taste it, and he found himself to be particularly partial to the flavour.  He leered at Howard.

‘You knows what I wants, boy!  Surely y’ain’t that stupid.’

‘Oh, god...’  Howard’s voice was nothing more than a whimper, several pitches higher than any grown man’s ought to be, and he shrieked and screwed his eyes tightly shut as the Spirit of Jazz swooped down upon him.

‘Don’t kill me, please!’ He sobbed, ‘I’ve got so much to give!  I’ve- I’ve-’ But nothing happened, and feeling a slight sense of anticlimax, he unscrewed the left eye slightly.  He fairly leapt at the sight that met him, however; the Jazz Spirit was kneeling on the bed, straddling Howard’s legs laid out in front of him, arms propped up on either side of Howard’ torso, skeletal face scant inches from his.  At the moment, he was looking decidedly disappointed.

‘Don’t be an idiot,’ He said, voice- for once- devoid of delighted mockery.  He took a moment, and then seemed to regain his steam, exhaling a harsh rasp of a laugh against Howard’s skin.  ‘I wants you, boy!  I wants to get inside you, wear you like a soft lady’s glove.’

That tongue flickered obscenely against his teeth, and red eyes went wide and mad.

Howard drew back- or rather, he tried to, but found that the headboard of his bed was rather in the way.  He continued trying anyway.  ‘If you don’t mind, sir,’ he said weakly, ‘I’d really rather prefer it if you didn’t.  Um, that is, there’s a lot of things need doing at the zoo tomorrow, and I need to get my sleep...’

He trailed off weakly, and the Spirit of Jazz shook his head at him, seeming almost rueful.

‘Pathetic,’ he muttered, ‘You’s a jazz boy, Howard Moon, and you’s worried about workin’ at some dumbass zoo?   Y’see why I’s here?  You needs remindin’ ‘bout who you is, boy.’

A panic was blossoming in Howard’s chest now, but he tried to pull himself up regardless.  ‘Perhaps you could hoodwink me when I was a young man, sir, but Howard Moon is a man of action!  I’ll not be taken in that easily.  I-’ he stumbled somewhat, ‘I suggest you make your exit now, sir; you’ll be finding nothing you want here.’

The Spirit of Jazz chuckled again, and his grin was dark and cruel.  ‘Ahh, now see- that’s your problem, boy.  You thinks you’s gots a choice in the matter.’

And before Howard could react- could object or say anything- the Jazz Spirit surged forward and crushed his black lips to Howard’s in a brutal kiss.  

Howard let out a muffled cry, and the Spirit of Jazz disappeared against his lips, leaving nothing more than a lingering taste of ash and the wail of trumpets in his head.  Then, in the darkness, Howard’s eyes flamed red.

His whole body relaxed, suddenly warm and heavy with the feeling of good Louisiana whiskey, and a voice spoke inside his head.

There now, ain’t that better, boy?  You’s mine, you’s always been mine, and you likes it.

Howard nodded dreamily as his body slid back down to lie flat, one knee bent lazily.  He stared at the ceiling with crimson eyes, and one hand slipped down over the faint convexity of his belly, then up again to toy with a nipple though the fabric of his shirt.  He sighed faintly, ‘Yes...’ whispering out in the heavy air, and his voice was tinged with a raspy, Cajun twang.

You wants me, doncha boy?  Wants me all up in you?  A chuckle, It’s your lucky day, sweet cheeks.

The smell of dead cigarettes and cheap booze consumed Howard’s mind, the scent of the dirt and grime of a hundred people’s lives, accented inexplicably with the chemical tang of lemon cleaner.  He recognised that smell- the smell of The Blue Aubergine way back when, when Howard was a jazz legend in Yorkshire.  He had a guitar in his hands and his fingers were flying at incredible speeds, the incredible sounds of his jazz stylings carrying to the darkest corners of the pub.  The crowd was going wild, loving him, and he was their master-

Just like that, boy...

His hand gripped harder at his chest, fingers digging bruisingly hard into the scant muscle of his pectoral, and he groaned deep in his throat, his other hand tracing with maddening slowness down into his boxers.   A breathless laugh, exultant and rapturous, tripped from his lips as a hand stroked down the length of his half-hard prick.  Had it been Howard, he would have got things over with quickly and quietly, but this was the Spirit of Jazz, and he was a sadistic bastard.  He wanted to hear Howard moan, to see him arch up against the touch of his own hand, to want until he could stand it no longer.

And so he was slow, and in Howard’s head, a wild improvised trumpet solo built to incredible heights.

That’s right!  That there’s the power o’ jazz, Howard Moon.  Gets inside ya, gets under your skin, makes ya tingly.   Don’t nothin’ else make you feel like that, do it?  I knows you, boy; you wants me.  I’s jazz, and jazz is your lifeblood, ain’t it? You’s beggin’ me for it, baby.

Howard moaned, biting down hard on his lip as the hand snuck lower, cupping hotly at his bollocks, heavy in his hand, and further still to stroke over the tight ring of muscle there.  A shudder traversed its way up his spine, and the voice of the Spirit of Jazz cooed in his ear.

Oh-ho!  Y’likes that... So you’s that kinda man, hmm, Howard Moon?  Y’likes bein’ told what t’do, do ya?

In some far corner of his mind, Howard Moon tried desperately to reassert himself, pulling with all the strength in his Yorkshire bones.  He was a man of action, he told himself squarely.  A man of means and influence, the kind of man others looked up to; not someone who enjoyed taking orders from anyone, much less a Cajun freak in blackface!

That finger was still there though, rubbing back and forth in the crease of his arse, and when it pushed itself in, just past that first barrier, all his resistance crumbled.  He whimpered, straining against the feeling of his own finger inside himself, cool and strange and not nearly there enough.

Y’want me to fuck you, peachy face?  That what you want?

‘G-god, yes!  Please, yes...’

The Spirit of Jazz said nothing more, just laughed cruelly inside Howard’s head, on and on, ringing in the jazz club as the double bass thrummed in the background and the saxophone soared bluesily above the crowd.

The hand scrabbled on the bedside table for where Howard knew the lotion was, and then one finger, two, three were inside him, and Howard’s mouth went wide and slack, his eyes glazed with pleasure.  The angle was awkward, but Howard’s breath stuttered in his chest nonetheless when the Spirit of Jazz curled his fingers tight inside Howard, stretching places deep inside him.  When the other hand left off toying with his scant chest hair and slid down to slick itself over his cock, he fairly moaned, his hips bowing off the mattress into the touch of that hand- his, and yet somehow not at all.

The hand pumped, and the fingers inside him fucked Howard mercilessly, curling and stretching, his whole body pretzellling to try and get them deeper, harder.  But it wasn’t enough, it wasn’t good enough, and the Spirit of Jazz growled through Howard’s throat, working him faster.

Oh, yeah… the voice purred against Howard’s ear, That’s what you likes, ain’t it?  Ya likes to be fucked hard, Howard Moon, like a little bitch.

Howard groaned desperately.  ‘I- no, I-’

Say that so’s I can hear it, bitch!

‘Please!’ He choked out, arching frantically against the Jazz Spirit’s touch.  He couldn’t bring himself to say anymore, but the Spirit of Jazz felt it in his body, saw it in his mind, and he ran an invisible tongue across invisible teeth, leering invisibly at Howard.

Whatever you says.

The hand worked him harder, the other twisting inside him, and Howard’s vision fuzzed out for a moment from the sheer pleasure of it, his back arching.  He was so close, almost there, almost… there-

The trumpet solo rang out over the crowd, spiralling madly upward, twisting and turning in midair before finally, insanely, hitting a triple high C.  There was a hush, and the throng stared; for several slow-motion moments, the note hovered still, high and pure and utterly uncorrupted.

And then Howard collapsed onto his back, mouth wide open and gasping for breath, two lines of white painted across his stomach.  The Spirit of Jazz materialised beside the bed, leering down at him, his suit utterly pristine, hat still firmly in place.  Exhausted, Howard shook his head, looking away, trying to ignore the presence beside him, but the Jazz Spirit cackled into the night air and settled himself on the edge of the bed, almost daintily.

‘You liked that, boy?’

Howard didn’t answer, and instead pulled the blanket over himself, suddenly extremely conscious of his own nakedness.  It was cold in his room, colder than he could ever remember it being.

The Spirit of Jazz crowed with delighted laughter.  ‘Oh-ho!  And now’s the time for the psychological torment, hey?  Oh, baby, you’s a good time, Howard Moon.’

‘Go away,’ Howard muttered into his blankets.  It was too late for him to recover any measure of dignity, but he would not further prolong his torment.  He would not play along with whatever sick game the Spirit was playing.  That laugh scraped over his skin, though, a harsh rasp in the darkness, and Howard could feel the unnatural burn of his eyes.

‘I’s always here, boy!  I’ll go away, sure thing- I gots other things t’do- but I’s inside your head, Howard Moon.  Every time you listen to one o’ them old jazz LPs you loves so much, every time you falls asleep… I’m a-gonna be there, just waitin’ for you.’

‘Please leave; I can’t deal with this right now.  I have… things to think about.’

The Spirit of Jazz let out a bark of laughter.  ‘Ha!  Sure that’s what you gots t’do.  I’ll leave, sugar, but you ain’t seen the last o’ me; you sure’s hell ain’t.’

There was a sound like the last, futile flicker of a dying candle, and when Howard turned over in his bed, the Spirit of Jazz was gone.  He couldn’t sleep though, not even now, in the warm, comforting emptiness of his room.  Howard knew it was true, what he’d said, and inside his head, the Spirit of Jazz laughed and laughed and laughed.

[lapzidorus]

Nothing for Nothing

Wha!? Where did everything go? Just a moment before, that car rammed straight into ours, and now it's just me, floating here in darkness stretching as far as I can see – not that I can even see my hands right in front of me because there is no light. I am still wearing my long-sleeved jacket and jeans, though, which was originally to avoid attracting too much attention. Am I dead? Is this what it’s like after you die? Am I just stuck here in eternal suspension, or is my fate still yet to come?

   Something taps the edge of my shoe, and I pull my leg back out of reflex, barely holding back a gasp. I peer down and see nothing still. I reach my foot back out and feel a hard, flat surface – a wall? Or perhaps a floor to settle on! When I reach my hand over for a feel of the texture, the rest of me suddenly plops onto it. Yup, it’s a floor – a cold, though smooth one.

    Relying solely on my touch, I position my hands and legs with care, taking my time with getting up. Once I'm on my feet, I tread forward slowly, reaching my hands out to feel anything in front of me. This goes on for a few minutes before my scrawny arms can’t take any more of the strain and I need to set them down. If only I had exercised more. I sink my hands into my pockets and continue walking, stopping every now and then to feel around the floor in front of me. Where am I anyway, and why is everything so dark?

    Several more uneventful minutes pass by before I decide to sit and rest my tired legs, seeing no more sense in continuing. My mind has gone numb from lack of stimulation, so I might just go to sleep right here. I slip my hood on and lay my head down, doing my best to get comfortable.

    Soon after, though, an assortment of crackling and crunching sounds starts up all around me. Oh, now something's happening! Well, what is it?

    These noises grow slowly louder over a minute or so, bringing my ears moderate discomfort, until they abruptly end. A few seconds after that, a large, round cluster of hexagonal holes, towering at about four times my height, brightens up before me in a crystal-y green color, making me step back in surprise – and turn away in horror. Ugh, I finally see something, and it happens to trigger my mild Trypophobia! At least now I know I haven’t gone blind. What even_ _is it, anyway?

    Once I can bring myself to stare fixedly at the unpleasant sight, my first observation is the source of its light: six closed-up hexagons twice their size of the others surround the edges of a deep hole. Also visible are six dark, bladed wing-like appendages protruding around its sides, and a thick tail of a similar shade that the creature appears to be standing with.

    I then hear the entity speak. “Hhellloooo!” Its swaying, high-pitched voice and its jovial tone fall into an uncanny valley between welcoming and threatening, which is accentuated by the disorienting echoes that bounce randomly around us.

    My mind is falling into shambles! Where am I? What am I looking at? Why are things playing out like this? Was I being watched the whole time? Oh, how stupid I probably looked! What’s going to happen next?!

    Hold on! This could all just be a lucid dream; but my dreams tend to be much faster-paced than this, though. Oh wait, I was just greeted by this thing; I should probably say something too!

    I manage to cough out what seems like the most appropriate question to start things out. “Wha-…who are you?”

    "Ahem." The entity’s voice becomes more controlled, and the echoes settle within it. “Why, I am an overseer of sin, who keeps track of the unforgiven sins of every individual I am assigned to.”

    “S-so-” I tremble at my next words. “-am I…i-in hell?”

    “Nooo, not quite,” the overseer corrects as if trying to comfort me, their wings drooping down a little. “You might consider this your own personal ‘purgatory.' Every sinner has one, constructed and designed specifically for them whenever their life is put at risk."

    My eyes scroll across the surrounding expanse, the only light still being the overseer’s eerie luminescence. I guess this _does _match my propensity for anxiety; just gazing into it threatens to fill me with paranoia of something jumping out at me.

    The overseer continues, "Due to the exclusivity resulting from this system, we can generally only meet up with one person at a time; thus, there must be a bunch of us since many people can die at once, as you may already understand.” Way to rub it in, huh?

    I turn back to the overseer. “So, w-what now?” I ask, feeling slightly more at ease knowing I am not (yet) in hell.

    The overseer proceeds to slither around me as they begin, “Here, you are to reflect back on all of your unforgiven sins and confess them to me personally; this is specifically for your sake as I already know precisely what you're guilty of.”

    A large larva emerges halfway out of one of the overseer’s holes, causing a squeal of fright to just barely leak out of my lips. The overseer then comes to explain, “For each valid sin you properly admit to, no matter how small, one of these little sweeties will pop out to greet you from the hole corresponding to that sin. It seems, however, that this one can already sense your fearfulness, darling.”

    Yeah, I am quite the nervous wreck. “Yeah, heh heh, I do make that aspect of me clear, don’t I?”

    The overseer lets out a creepy, yet also innocent-sounding little chuckle. “Now, if your self-assessment turns out to be fully accurate, you get to decide your own punishment! How does that sound, hmm? We figured if a sinner understands where they went wrong, they might know how they ought to suffer as well, so it’s the least we can offer down here, hm-hm!” They finish their circle around me, their seemingly endless tail keeping me fenced inside, and return to their original height and position.

    So I can choose what happens to me? Does that mean anything so long as it’s bad? What are the rules on all of this?

    “Now, as a fair warning,” the overseer notes, their tone turning a tinge more serious, “we are in full power to bestow our originally planned punishment if we deem yours unfit.” They lean forward in a rather intimidating fashion. “Do you understand?”

    I nod my head in short, meek bobs. “Yes, I understand everything.”

    “Alright then!” they announce with returning cheer, wings thrusted upward. “Let’s get started.”

    I think it over for a bit before I know just what to say. “Okay, well…I’ve done nothing.”

    The overseer’s wings flap oh-so-slightly. “What’s that, dearie?”

    “I did nothing in my life to get here. What I mean by that is, I-I should’ve done stuff but didn’t. I had grown to fear the feelings and consequences of failure, defeat, and disappointment at an early age, so I never took up any tasks that weren't in my direct way like, say, obligatory school assignments, nor did I seize any social outlets. I also couldn't stand up for myself in the oddly few times I was picked on; I_ did_ learn to blend in very well, though."

    The larva wriggles slightly up and down, presumably in excitement. “Very good so far,” the overseer interjects. “Now please, continue.”

    As I allow my repressed feelings of guilt to resurface and guide my words, my delivery smoothens and boldens, and I begin to gently pace left and right. “Furthermore, I held back from speaking my own mind except whenever I was forced to. Even if I shared my own thoughts, though, I wouldn’t have much to say ‘cause I refrained from developing any opinions or beliefs beyond the bare necessities, if that makes any sense. On that note, I was afraid to be skeptical of things, but I was also reluctant to hold faith in them; I wouldn’t commit myself to any side or any_thing._ I became complacent, unsocial, unproductive and, quite frankly, sort of lazy.”

    A second larva slinks out from a different hole while the first one thrashes about more violently. “Yes, yes, darling! Spot on!”

    “My mom eventually caught on to my inactivity, however, and had me join a co-worker’s son and his friends on a trip to someplace I forget. Of course, I couldn't conjure up the strength to resist the order. They were a diverse group, though, I must admit; I probably could’ve made at least one new friend if I tried.

    “Anyway, after our light at an intersection went green, the driver forgot to look both ways, and all the passengers were too busy with themselves or each other to see another driver speeding through from our left. Admittedly, though, I kind of only caught them from my peripherals myself despite my well-developed observational skills. Now, I knew I had to alert everyone in the car, but my lips clammed up; I guess a part of me winced at the supposedly unflattering image of a quiet person like myself suddenly shouting out to "Look out!", so how about we just add pride to this list, too, while we’re at it?”

    At this point my guilt and shame become so overwhelming that I can't look at the overseer anymore, and instead I gaze downward with my fingers gripping my hair and face. “Augh, that would’ve been my turning point; I could’ve saved all those people and started making progress with myself, but I went and blew it, all because I was so cowardly and selfish and pathetic that I couldn’t get myself to actually talk to people or accomplish anything my entire life!”

    I wipe my dampened eyes and cheeks on my sleeves and look back up at the overseer. What a mess I probably look like right now. “And now, here I am,” I sob, swinging an arm open to gesture, “pouring out my soul after it’s already too late for any more such chances. If only I became like this when it still would’ve mattered; I might've actually grown to love myself more.”

    Once I've calmed down, I can see that a peculiar arthropod now rests in the central hole. Could that represent-?

    “Well done, dear,” the overseer congratulates. “You’ve recapped all of your sins with perfect honesty, including the one running behind all sin: pride. Now, your newly found confidence can still serve one purpose.” They lean down in anticipation. “It’s time to choose your punishment.”

    “Nothing's going to happen to me,” I answer in a weak breath of defeat, “not good or bad. What should I reap if I hadn’t sowed anything in the first place? It’s best that you just leave me here to wither out in total isolation.”

    “Hmmm,” the overseer mutters in a jarringly ominous tone. “Perhaps you’re not quite as fun as I’d hoped.” They begin to back out, their tail pulling back out from around me and their light beginning to faintly flicker out. Well, here comes total darkness again.

    Once the overseer vanishes from my sight entirely, those weird crunches and crackles from earlier return, this time they gradually muffling out over time until they are gone once more. A loud, but gentle ting then goes off high above my head as if for closure.

    So...did I choose the right punishment? I figured they would’ve wanted a punishment that corresponded with the deed. It could be that mere isolation isn't severe or intense enough. If that’s the case then, what awaits me now, and how long do I have to wait?

    My next thought makes my heart jump: perhaps the punishment has already started! They might've unleashed a demonic beast of some sort to ravage me for all eternity. Or maybe I'm doomed to forever experience unprompted jump scares with no way to brace myself for them! Oh, the stress is killing me already! I think I’ll just lie back down again; maybe the torment won’t be so terrible then.

    I slip my hood back on and lay my whole body on the floor before shutting my eyes. If only I had the chance to make things right.

    If only I were able to escape this crazy nightmare.

    A bright light suddenly hits my eyelids. I prop myself up with my left arm and protect my eyes with my right hand, letting my hood slide off the back of my head. I note how the light is white. This isn’t a trap, is it; some scare to strike home how there's no hope of getting out? Well, whatever, then; there's really nothing left for me to lose.

    I move my hand aside to see what looks like a huge gash in the supposed ceiling. This opening – and the light emanating from it – seems oddly devoid of the desolation that had enwrapped me since I got here, which I sort of sense burning away. When I stand and take a step forward, I feel my feet lift off the floor, taking me by surprise. I look down to see my blurry reflection on the floor, and half a smile cracks through one cheek. Could I really be receiving grace after death?

    As I am drawn closer to the light, a soft blanket of silk envelops my body, and I close my eyes and lift my head in preparation; it looks like I am being granted salvation! No longer will I waste away my days leaving zero impact wherever I go. I can now become a lively individual who expresses thoughts and emotions in earnest, generates healthy social connections, and learns to feel legitimate love in all of it's forms!

    My new life begins here! 

[journeysintowebcomics]

Homestuck Liveblog #165

UPDATE 165: Catching Up in the New Timeline

Last time the retcon had been officially finished, since the fruits of this endeavor were shown. Things are better now, in more ways than one. In other news, the Wonderkids are going to be sealed in Caliborn’s juju at some point in the futurepast. So let’s continue!

So, everyone is gathered at Skaia, or more concretely right underneath it, on the platform where the door to the new universe tends to be. This can’t be endgame, because it’d be an anticlimactic ending, so it’s kind of a strange spot to gather at. What are you doing, guys?

Let’s see...Jane and Jade are still unconscious. Tavrosprite – yeah, that’s a thing, courtesy of Vriska. Maybe a good move? – is with Jake, Terezi and Vriska are to a side, Rose and Kanaya are over there, Dave and Karkaroni are over here...oh, good, the Vagabond isn’t child-sized anymore. Those are the current groups, so it isn’t like there’s a strategy discussion right now unless they’re shouting it as loud as possible. Maybe they’re just waiting for Jane and Jade to wake up.

Someone should take the tiara off Jane’s head.

Vriska and Dave manage to have a conversation from opposite sides of the platform, so I’m choosing to believe they’re really shouting as loud as they can.

DAVE: is it time yet  VRISKA: No.  DAVE: oh  DAVE: how about now  VRISKA: No!!!!!!!!  VRISKA: Dave, we've 8een w8ing for three years. 

I can’t believe they all have been sitting here for three years! Haha, no, I get it. So they’re waiting for John to appear, and since it’s unlikely he and his huge-ass planet are going to plop right in middle of this tiny platform and crash against Skaia in a cataclysm of universal proportions, he’s going to appear somewhere else, so it’s a matter of waiting for John to fly over here. Wonder if they know Roxy is going to come with him?

They know. Vriska seems to have found facts and stuff. Guess it comes with the territory of being a Light player, and since Terezi is a Seer...yeah, it makes sense.

VRISKA: I don't know the full extent of John's alt-reality experiences either. 8ut apparently things went raw for them in a8out as many ways as you can imagine.  VRISKA: Presuma8ly 8ecause I wasn't around to keep everyone's shit in order.

Oh, shut your trap. She’s not wrong, but let’s not pour all the credit on her. Partial credit is fine.

Tavrosprite continues singing the Praises of Vriska. Hm, I guess the Tavros this sprite is forming is a different Tavros from the one that went away flying from the ship in those dead bubble antics, which doesn’t make much sense, now that I think about it. I’m not sure how the whole soul thing is supposed to work, but I suppose that, since Vriska never died and dead Tavros never had the chance to look for rings and swab decks then he experienced a completely different dream bubble experience, separate from the Tavros that did go through all that. Uh, what I’m trying to say is that it seems two Tavros spawned from the same corpse, maybe because these are now different timelines. Yeah. Look, it’s complicated, okay? It’s Homestuck. Every time a complicated question is asked maybe that should be the default answer.

Karkaroni requests an infodump for the sake of the readers, so we are all brought up to speed on how the decisions about the sprites are like in this timeline. Oh, now that I think about it, does that mean there are two empty kernelsprites? Make sure they don’t prototype each other, guys, this session doesn’t need a black hole.

The circumstances regarding void sessions haven’t changed at all, but what I’m curious about is why Tavros was prototyped. What reason would Vriska have to encourage that? An apology for killing him, perhaps? It doesn’t strike to me like it’s a move to win the session.

ROSE: I was making extensive notes in my journal. When I looked away for a moment, you and Dave wrested the tome away, and began scribbling phalluses in it while giggling like children. 

Oh, that was still a thing. The fun times were preserved. Since making charts about spending time with Terezi was unneeded, I want to believe it was a chart about times to make ‘ill beats’ or something.

So yeah, what’s the deal with the sprites nowadays, Karkaroni still wonders. Vriska explains that she gathered all the bodies while they all turned their backs on them – like it’s Homestuck tradition – and stashed them somewhere, and just like I thought, she made Tavrosprite as a way to make amends. ARquius was a tactical move, since he’s a good strategist. And maybe because that’s necessary for the timeline to stay intact, given that ARquius is necessary for Lord English to exist. Say, you know what this means? That half of Lord English is “a fucking tactical genius. VRISKA: Totally conniving and calcul8ting, and unafraid to use methods that are just a 8IT morally du8ious to achieve his o8jectives.” What a wonderful thought.

VRISKA: And since I can't stick around for too long, your party is going to need someone like that. 

Where is she going? She’s not dying again, that much I’m sure.

The tiaratop is being disabled, good! That was something that needed to be done. Now if there was a way to guarantee Jade can’t be controlled again in any way...

Nobody else is going to be revived with the sprites, so they’re all staying dead. Too bad, Nepeta, Sollux, Feferi and Eridan! You are permanently dead. At least Vriska won’t condemn anyone to live as a bizarre amalgamation of personalities. Terezi is arguing Nepeta and Feferi should be brought back, since they did nothing wrong and Eridan did everything wrong, but Vriska won’t budge. She’s saving the sprites as a resurrection backup in case someone dies. That’s...hm...would a god tier player prototyped in a sprite have any of the god tier powers? I don’t know if this is a good idea.

Vriska proceeds to manipulate Terezi so she does what Vriska wants: not contradict her plans. Augh.

Dave attempts to argue about Vriska’s status as the leader because she kind of sat on the throne and proclaimed herself the leader. Nobody is really arguing that, but Dave tries to make sure Karkaroni is okay with being ousted. Maybe he is? He didn’t seem enthused about leadership after how everything ended for the trolls in the meteor, what with five dead in horrible ways.

KARKAT: ALRIGHT SERKET, THEN I'LL MAKE THIS A LOT EASIER FOR YOU, AND THE TEAM AS A WHOLE.  KARKAT: STARTING NOW, I HEREBY RENOUNCE MY ROLE AS A LEADER OF THIS GROUP, OR ANY, FOREVER!  KARKAT: VRISKA ALONG WITH HER TACTICAL VIRTUOUSITY AND MONSTROUS EGO ARE MORE THAN SUITED FOR THE ROLE.  KARKAT: AND IF, WHEN, AND TO *WHEREVER* SHE EVENTUALLY DECIDES TO FUCK OFF FOR MYSTERIOUS, YET-TO-BE-EXPLAINED REASONS, THEN ANYBODY ELSE WHO FEELS INCLINED CAN SLIDE RIGHT INTO THAT POSITION, SO LONG AS IT ISN'T ME!!!

It’s a bit disheartening to see Karkat renouncing to leadership like that. I don’t think he was doing a half-bad job, murderous people aside.

There they are! John and Roxy arrived. Perfect! John is more than happy to see everyone again, even those he doesn’t know at all. Roxy can just stare and stammer, notably bashful. Must be because Rose is right there. About time for a mother/daughter and mother/daughter reunion, I’d say!

There we go! That was long overdue. This should help Roxy come to terms with the horrors of the other timeline.

The first thing John does upon landing is give Terezi credit for fixing the timeline and ask about how the dragon plush affected anything. Turns out it was Terezi trolling John once again. You’re too easy of a target, John! Then again, it wasn’t like he could afford not following the instructions. He was dealt a lousy hand since the beginning, hah! Once again Terezi proves to be the one competent troll-as-in-trolling in this story.

VRISKA: I've received quite a few 8eatings in my time, and not only did I have each one coming, 8ut they all led to 8ig changes for me, on the road to 8ecoming the impecca8ly evolved person I am now. 

Well she still has the ridiculously inflated ego and the attitude I’m sure like half of the Homestuck readers loathe, but it doesn’t seem like she has gotten worse. I’ll just...be satisfied with that.

Rose seems to be having a bit of a hard time not calling Roxy mom, she’s just happy to have her. The sentiment is mutual, too. Jake is shy, Tavrosprite is conversational and makes John keep walking, and there are the guys John was going to. Hello, Dave, Karkaroni. Have fistbumps.

Nobody should be woken up yet, not until the brainwashing problem is solved, but yeah, Jade is going to be very happy once she sees John again. It can’t have been easy to spend three years alone in a battleship. True, she had the chess people and the consorts, but that doesn’t replace human interaction, does it? Then again, she...she spent like nine years or so living alone in the island. Hopefully that helped dull a bit the pain of losing John.

JOHN: hey, what about dave sprite?  DAVE: dead  JOHN: noooo! 

And the Davesprite from the other timeline didn’t come with them, unless he was conveniently roosting somewhere in John’s planet. Guess he’s out of the story now.

Now that John and Roxy arrived, it’s time to do stuff! Hah, okay, no, they’re going to continue sitting around and wait. This session is filled with waiting. Now they wait for the bad guys to arrive to the session, since they all had been thrown outside. Would that mean the end of Homestuck? Defeating all the villains? And they need to wait for Dirk, too. He may be vital for whatever’s going to happen.

Eight options?! Oh god, this is going to take me like five updates, won’t it? Guess this liveblog is going to come to a standstill, plot-wise. Well what’s one going to do, I don’t think there’s merit in skipping any of this, so I better buckle up and start going. The sooner I start; the sooner I’ll be done.

Karkaroni, John and Dave are the first ones in the list. Let’s see what’s to see over here.

KARKAT: YES. YES!  KARKAT: I LOVE THIS.  KARKAT: CAN WE SPEND OUR WHOLE REMINISCENCE JUST DESTROYING VRISKA, SLIGHTLY ABOVE AUDIBLE LEVEL?  VRISKA: Slightly?  VRISKA: Karkat, you only have one volume setting.  KARKAT: WOW, FUCK YOU?!  DAVE: ok dude maybe lets not spend our paltime trash talking serket if only cus theres no way youre not getting repeatedly trounced exactly just like that  KARKAT: FFFFFFFFFFFFFYEAH.  KARKAT: YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT. 

Alright, that was a good one. Hah, Karkat simply can’t get away with something without being made fun of at least once. He also apologizes to John for all the shouting through the chat client, it may have been because he was nervous and flustered, and because, you know, he was crushing on John – and these are all teenagers, that can’t have helped. John doesn’t even remember any of that, so all Karkaroni is doing is once again embarrass himself. Really, he can’t catch a break.

I don’t think rapping about the previous black romance feelings is going to be of much help, Dave. On the other hand, does this mean Dave has been teaching Karkaroni to rap? Huh.

I had forgotten how hard it was for me to find the main idea in Dave’s ramblings. This is like...college-grade interpretative literary analysis challenges. I’m not completely positive about what I’m reading, but I think John may be hitting the nail on the head here.

JOHN: i think i mostly agree?  JOHN: but...  JOHN: ummmm, how do i put this.  JOHN: are you...  JOHN: are you gay now?  DAVE: what no  KARKAT: (THE WORDS. WHY WON'T THE WORDS STOP. DEAR GOD.)  JOHN: i dunno, it sounds to me like you're trying tell me something here! 

Well, congratulations for sharing that, Dave. Perhaps you should talk it with Dirk.

JOHN: um, were you and karkat...  JOHN: ARE you and karkat, like.  JOHN: hmm.

Well they seem to be rather close now, that’s for sure. It’s not really dating until both say or admit to each other they’re dating, and trust me on this: there’s no way Dave or Karkat are going to say they’re dating. Their personalities and stubbornness are too ingrained for that.

KARKAT: NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.  KARKAT: I RETREAT TO MY SAFE PLACE, AND YET THE WORDS. THE STUPID FUCKING PRATTLE JOCKEYING LIKE ROWDY BARNBEASTS UP AGAINST THE PARTITIONS OF GOOD FUCKING SENSE AND THE MOST BASIC OF PERSONAL BOUNDARIES. 

Told you. But yeah, it seems Dave’s rambling is mostly because being around trolls has made him more susceptible to troll concepts, or so I understand. John would have gone through the same if he had been on the meteor, and that includes maybe understanding black romance.

...

...

...

...Karkaroni just told John the feelings of frustration and being annoyed and all, and also considering Terezi a good friend with traits to admire despite all that, are the landmarks of a black romance crush. Hah! Now that’s something unseen! Congratulations on your newlyfound black feelings, John! You’re officially multicultural!

KARKAT: YEAH, THAT'S IT, RIGHT THERE!!!  KARKAT: THE "BUT" IS ALWAYS PART OF IT.  KARKAT: WHAT YOU'RE *TRYING* TO SAY IS, YOU HAD FRUSTRATED, NEGATIVE EMOTIONS TOWARD HER, BUT THEY DON'T COMPREHENSIVELY ACCOUNT FOR YOUR ATTITUDE TOWARD HER.  KARKAT: MEANING, THERE ARE SOME THINGS ABOUT HER YOU ACTUALLY LIKE, BUT THE NEGATIVE FEELINGS MAKE IT HARD FOR YOU TO PUT YOUR FINGER ON THEM, OR EVEN WANT TO ACKNOWLEDGE THEM.  KARKAT: THAT IS ABSOLUTELY STANDARD. WHAT GOOD WOULD IT BE HAVING A KISMESIS WHO DIDN'T POSSESS QUALITIES YOU ACTUALLY ADMIRED ON SOME LEVEL?  KARKAT: THAT WOULD BE BORING, AND IT WOULDN'T EVEN WORK. THERE'D BE NO TENSION, NO PUSH AND PULL IN THE TURBULENT EMOTIONAL LANDSCAPE. THE SUBTLE POSITIVES ADD FUEL TO THE NEGATIVE FEELINGS, OFTEN GIVING THEM A REASON TO EXIST AT ALL. THEY INFLAME THE AGGRAVATING FACTORS, REMINDING YOU DEEP DOWN HOW MUCH YOU WOULD LIKE AND ADMIRE THIS PERSON IF IT WASN'T FOR ALL THEIR INFURIATING FLAWS, AND THE INCREDIBLE SENSE OF FRUSTRATION THAT CAUSES ALONG WITH ALL THE ASSOCIATED HOT-HEADED FEELINGS, THAT'S THE ESSENCE OF BLACK ROMANCE.  KARKAT: AND THE POSITIVE QUALITIES YOU SEE DEEP DOWN IN A KISMESIS ALSO SERVE AS THE BASIS FOR RED FEELINGS TOWARD THAT PERSON, ASSUMING THE RELATIONSHIP EVER STARTS TO VACILLATE.  KARKAT: IT'S ALL PRETTY STRAIGHTFORWARD, REALLY. 

That actually makes sense! It would never be a romance like trolls picture it, but it’s not unheard it could propel a love relationship. Rivalries based on mutual respect can grow into friendship and something further than that, that much is true. John is in complete denial about all that. If it makes you feel better, John, I really, really doubt Terezi feels the same way about you. She’s just messing with you because you’re a gullible dork who gets tangled in her pranks.

The discussion about Davesprite and Jade’s romance will have to wait for later, for when she’s awake and prepared to listen to all of that. Given that Davesprite exploded horribly too in John’s planet...that may be a touchy topic for her.

About Roxy:

DAVE: it sounds like you like her  JOHN: i do!  DAVE: no i mean  DAVE: actually like her  JOHN: oh.  JOHN: ... uh, hm.  JOHN: i don't know.  JOHN: maybe.  DAVE: wow dude after one day maybe you should slow your roll 

At this point that’s pretty much a trait John has, I haven’t forgotten he is Mr. I Want to Date Vriska After One Day of Knowing Her.

Speaking of Rose and Roxy reunion, I’ll go for that now. They’re very excited, but can’t think of any meaningful discussions, the enjoyment of seeing each other is too much for them. There’s nothing wrong with being in comfortable silence, don’t be afraid of doing that. But after a moment of just going in circles, Rose decides this is a prime chance of getting some answers about Mom Lalonde.

ROSE: Do...  ROSE: You really like wizards? 

The answer is not a surprise. There you go, Rose, it wasn’t an ironic passive-aggressive way of spiting you. How does that make you feel?

ROSE: But I've come to see that as mostly my fault. I was too young to understand her. 

You were too young, too paranoid and too smart for your own good. Mom Lalonde was a good-natured woman who had a very hard time connecting with her daughter and also had a serious drinking problem, you two are equally at fault, I’d say, but it’s not because any of you was malicious about it.

Kanaya is interested in Rose’s purple-prose filled wizard books. The bonding culminates in Rose and Roxy agreeing to share the rough drafts of their stories. That’s sweet, this is the kind of content I was waiting for regarding Rose and Roxy. They even have the chance to talk about the grieving they felt when the doomed counterparts died.

The drinking habits were an attempt to connect with their deceased mothers. A lot of these characters’ problems are an attempt to connect with other people, I’d say.

That was a nice chain of dialogue, I really liked it. There’s something nice in seeing people bond. Okay, next, Tavrosprite and Jake. Curious combination, huh. They’re getting along because they’re shy people.

JAKE: You have always been the one ray of light shining through the clouds in what has otherwise been an emotionally stormy game experience for me.  JAKE: Im so grateful that you found it in your ghostly bosom to drift over to lomax now and then to cheer me up.  JAKE: Often enough to give me a real pickmeup when feeling blue over friend problems but just seldom enough to feel like a rare delight when you did. 

Unlike Erisolsprite? This timeline is truly better than the other one.

The problem Jake has is that he feels too chained by his guilt to feel brave about talking to people right now, because he doesn’t feel ready to talk about his mistakes, whether it’s because they’re knocked out, or somewhere away in the session, or currently enjoying time with her mother/daughter. I’m sure many can relate to that.

I didn’t expect Tavros to actually be a supportive pillar for Jake. That’s nice, and lots better than the Tavros who let confidence get to his head. Good!

TAVROSPRITE: yOUR BRAIN IS COMPLICATED THEN,  TAVROSPRITE: i'M GUESSING IT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE SOME SORT OF GENIUS,

...uh, maybe? In some vague way, maybe, because in other ways Jake is as dumb as a bag of nails. Tavros continues being supportive, and then brings up something I really didn’t see coming.

TAVROSPRITE: nOT RELATED TO THAT, hAVE i MENTIONED,  TAVROSPRITE: yOU'RE ACTUALLY QUITE HANDSOME FOR A HUMAN, 

That’s kind of a random comment in this support session. Tavros, what’s going through that mind of yours, exactly? Don’t tell me you have somehow fallen in love with Jake. Really.

Shut up, Vriska, your contribution wasn’t needed here.

Well I think I’m stopping for now, now it’s Terezi and Vriska’s turn. Leaving that for next time. I’m breezing through these options quicker than I expected, maybe in the next update I’ll be done with them!

Next update: two updates