#i need to pray so hard
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sooooooooo
yesterday I went to the mass again, like I have been doing every sunday. I was with my boyfriend and we were asked if we could help
I FREAKED OUT
We took the offertory to the priest and in the end I was literally shaking. I had to hold my tears and tell my boyfriend I was fine. I kind of was, but at the same time I was having a terrible time.
btw yesterday I prayed my first hail mary. In the midst of all of this you guys can imagine that me, with my protestant background, has never been so nervous. I felt like I could do it since I really feel like now I understand the saints intercession and theres no wrong in asking for Mary's intercession too
I am afraid and nervous. Its the "if I'm wrong I'm sinning so hard" that gets me and makes me feel desperate.
I don't know who I am anymore :(
#catholic tumblr#catholicism#also I found a place to do my cathecism and I might start on april#:(#really#i need to pray so hard
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You don't wish your disability was worse or more visible, you wish your disability was taken seriously. Please stop confusing the two, I guarantee you would not get the support you need JUST by being more severe or more visible. Please listen to visibly disabled people when we tell you it isn't better on our side
#m/cc#mine#I tried extremely hard to word this nicely because I KNOW people don't mean bad and often even know there are unique challenges#and believe me I know the challenges of invisible disability too!!#I have invisible disabilities!#but as someone who has also been at least visibly 'off' since they were 10 I am SO SICK of invisible disabilities being hailed as like#a unique extra oppression that us lucky visibly disabled people don't have to deal with#there are challenges to invisible disabilities that visibly disabled people DON'T have to deal with!#but you need to understand that *the reverse is also true*#there are MASSIVE benefits to being able to lie about your disability for example#or not dealing with the overt ableism that comes with your disability being obvious to everyone#*I do not have the option to pretend I'm not disabled.* that is never an option I have#I walk weirdly. I use a mobility aid now. my speech and face are 'off.' I lean to one side#for a long time I wore sunglasses 24/7 and often didn't make sense. I sometimes can't speak or won't react to others#for the most part people will always know that at the very least something is wrong with me#and more obviously I have people telling me they'll pray for me; telling me I can't do things I'm already in the process of doing;#wanting to shake my hand to tell me I'm an inspiration for not killing myself; giving me dirty looks for existing in public#and yes. I'm aware that this is very much an in-community issue. I know the average abled person doesn't know invisible disabilities exist#that's why there's so much awareness happening for it#but as a visibly disabled person I get SO TIRED of constantly hearing 'I wish my disability was visible :'('#it's just 'I wish I had your disability!' but from other disabled people
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Gaz locker room mirror selfie ✌️ He's probably gonna send it to the group chat and make everyone feel bad
#cod#kyle gaz garrick#kyle garrick#call of duty#weehee about time I did a full piece with Gaz !!!#Pretty boyyyyy I love his mustache so much#I tooootally didn't stare at his actor's lightly dressed selfies for inspo noooo#do you know how hard it was to not go crazy with the body hair#Gaz you need more hair man#anyway I tried something different with the colors#praying that it turned out good#my art
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i want more art for this fandom so i'll make my contribution - here's park moondae!
#debut or die#park moondae#my fanart#i enjoy the webtoon and novel so much!#we need more art for the fandom! this is my part🤠#a live action or anime adaptation would go so hard i'm praying for it
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Speaking of stalking art students, I’ve been following your blog since you were 15 and it’s been cool to see you finish high school and go to art school and now you’re like? Finishing art school?!? Soon???? It doesn’t feel like much time to me but it’s probably felt a lot longer to you.
it simultaneously feels like an insane amount of time and no time at all. I still remember exactly where i was when my first post got over 100 notes. but it's also been literally 6 years. crazy. if i think about the fact that im graduating in may for too long i'll throw up probably
#college graduation is SO much different than high school graduation also#bc like. by this point in my HS senior year i'd accepted an offer to mica. i knew exactly what i was going to be doing#meanwhile college senior blue is $30k in debt and praying to the gods they can find an agent#or like some art director who DESPERATELY needs an illustrator#anyway. yeah i am. almost done with art school. and i do not want to think about that too hard !#asks
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#gross. gross! i do not like this thing. two alternate angles under the cut for those of you who like this thing because i am about to tear#into it so hard. ahem#enamorus#this thing is ugly as fuck. all of the genies were already ugly as fuck and now this thing only makes that worse. all of their therian form#were like MILDLY better but this one takes that trend and just throws it out the window#like the anteater nose is FUNNY especially on a legendary but LORD DON'T MAKE ME LOOK AT IT#not to mention its boss fight taking place in the fucking SWAMP with all the SLOWY WATER#and it just ZOOMS AROUND AND TELEPORTS if i remember correctly#like the LAST fuckin pokémon in the pokédex you can catch and it looks like THIS??? why did we need another genie. what#i understand the trend in gen 8 where they kept adding new legendaries to already established like. groups. like regieleki and regidrago#but THIS group is one that DID NOT NEED ONE#like i can see the additions to the regis!!! they're cool additions and really modernize the trio into a quintet!! but this is just RIDICUL#sorry tumblr cut me off there. this is just RIDICULOUS#ooouuhhhuhuhuh all the other genies are buff men with beards but this one's a laaaady bc it's pink!! and fairy-type!!! and small!! a#NO!!!! STOP!!!!!!!!! WE DON'T NEED IT!!!!!! PUT THAT THING BACK WHERE IT CAME FROM OR SO HELP ME!!!!#it's literally like. the last pokémon in gen 9. i'm gonna have to start worrying about gen 9 models RIGHT after this#teechnically. i'm actually queuing this thing up before i'm done with all the hisuian forms so i have a bit of time#but it'll Look like it comes last in the queue right before gen 9#here's praying i have something figured out by then? but i doubt it because i've just started a new job#and that's probably gonna be taking a lot of my time until then
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Why is this book about 1880s London Jews so relatable to the 2020s American Roman Catholic experience?
In Amy Levy's Reuben Sachs, you've got:
The community that is at once fully part of the modern world while having an insular nature (and the amount of modern vs. insular varies based on the person and family)
The people who ignore their religion 99% of the year, but wouldn't even consider skipping services on the important holidays
The ultra-traditionalists who go so intense on holding to traditions that a lot of other members of their religion side-eye them
The kids who go to services only because their parents force them to, or who rebel and refuse to go because they don't see the point or don't believe in God
The new convert who is more zealous than, like, 90% of the people who were born into this religion
A family with its very specific blend of religious opinions and inside jokes that's fully aware that they're baffling to outsiders
This book was apparently meant to be a realistic portrait of Jewish life (in response to Daniel Deronda and its (according to Levy) highly unrealistic and over-idealized portrayal of Jews), and my goodness, did she succeed in capturing what it's like to live in a culturally religious community in a rapidly secularizing world.
#books#victober#reuben sachs#amy levy#i'm only about a third of the way through but the impression's already so strong i have to talk about it#i thought the anglican church drama was relatable but this cranks it up to 11#also i need to say that while i'm struggling through two books by people who are major overwriters#it is *such* a relief to read something by an under-writer#it's snappy it's quick it's witty it's concise#the oscar wilde vibe is still going strong#i have no clue how these family connections work#and her habit of underwriting is making it hard to differentiate this huge cast#but it's still fun to meet them all#also: love the deeply middle-class vibe#we've got your bankers and your businessmen#but one guy shows up and he's just...a dentist#so refreshing so real#also: i adore the way levy writes family relationships#maybe my favorite thing about her#all these people who are fully aware of each others' quirks#will constantly poke fun at each other but also love each other#in a way that's equal parts fondness and exasperation and good humor#there's something about her style that resonates so well with my interior personality/thought process#and maybe with my writing style/approach to stories#which is very weird because as people we're total opposites#but it feels like hanging out with a friend#anyway i prayed for her last night
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What if Ratio isn’t just some guy but a spy for another faction, like maybe he is part of the masked fools or another faction? How betrayed would Topaz and Aventurine feel that they’re friend isn’t who he said he was? That Ratio was just playing a role to gather information.
Or even worse if Dr. Ratio was Oswaldo right hand man, sent to disrupt and spy on the ten stonehearts and in doing so seduces two to make Diamond jealous and distracted. Like Oswaldo main competitor is Diamond and maybe he sent Ratio to keep track of the stonehearts movement?
I think I would die horrifically in a fire but that would also be incredibly compelling so I don’t hate it either.
Oh Ratio being a spy, oh Ratio being a betrayer, that would hurt so bad because he’s presented as someone who cares sososo much and to have that just be a lie? Ugh I hate it just as much as I love it
Imagine the look on Aventurine’s face as the person closest to him turned out to be a spy all along
The person who gave him a reason to live having never cared in the first place
Now that’s all well and good and I’m not lying when I say I would never recover from that, but imagine this
It’s a double cross
You still get the betrayal, the devastation, but Ratio has always been good at playing the fool. He did it at the space station, he did it in Penacony, and he’s doing it now.
He almost gives up, seeing how broken the other two look, but Ratio is playing the long run and everyone is none the wiser.
So they win, and Oswaldo is gone for good, Ratio gets injured, and is backed into a corner by both Aventurine, Topaz, and the astral express, and they are about to demand answers and/or even kill him.
Aventurine is the angriest, he grabs him by the shoulder and demands Ratio give him answers, give him anything.
He just smiles
And asks them who they think allowed them to be victorious in the first place?
Everything clicks, Ratio passes out and it all falls apart.
It will piece itself back together again, BUT GODDDDD GODDDD HOYO IF YOU DO THIS I WILL FORGIVE YOU FOR ALL YOUR SINS
PLEASE DO IT PLEASE DO IT PLEASE PLWASE PLWASE PLEASE PLS OKS PLS OLS PLSSSSS
#dr ratio#hsr#aventurine#honkai star rail#Hsr#hsr topaz#aventio#ratio and topaz need to get closer in canon for this to properly be Aventiopaz though#And I don’t think that’s gonna happen sadly#BUT GODDDDDDD#hsr theory#please let this happen#I will never doubt Ratio#Because he’s pulled this twice so there’s no doubt he can do it again#The sex would be crazyyy after#Lmao sorry#It’s just#yeah#bro would get railed so hard#Everyone pray for ratios pussy he’ll need it#suggestive#but only in the tags#For those brave enough to read them
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#bad news that brings your whole week down kinda day#the kind of bad news you can’t bring up or else it’ll ruin everyone else’s mood kinda news#but I feel like I need to tell someone or it’s gonna tear me apart#my grandma is in the hospital and we don’t know how serious it is yet#it could be an easy fix or it could be bad we just don’t know#the waiting is the worst part when someone’s in the hospital#it always floors me#makes it hard to do anything#I’m praying it’s a fixable problem but we just don’t know yet#and I’m half a continent away so I can’t do anything#I just have to wait and I hate the waiting#I haven’t told any of my friends or classmates yet because I don’t wanna bring the whole room down#but it’s hard waiting for answers#it’s really hard#anyways sorry for rambling at you guys about my personal problems#I just needed to tell someone
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Was feeling bad so drew some harpvor for soul:3
Also god I'm so sane abt this information from wiki. So normal
#i haven't met ivor in s2 yet!!! i can't wait!!#it's working so shittyyy LIKE GUYS GUYS IF ONLY YOU KNEW HOW MUCH I NEED TO DO JUST TO PLAY THIS GAME#YOU WOULD EXPLODE#why is it so hard!!! and also so interesting!! i wanna play it so bad#welp lets pray ppl on discord help me somehow or else I'd have to play s2 on pc#which is like a slideshow for me im gonna foee#die*😭😭#mcsm#mcsm s2#mcsm ivor#mcsm harper#mcsm harpvor#<33 love em#desfan-art
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Okay so we saw how roier reacted to foolish being left in the nether and how he reacted to everyone joking about how foolish is stuck there and they'll have to plan him a funeral. Even if it was just jokes, he was clearly still upset by this
Now imagine his reaction in finding out that jaiden HAS actually gone missing and there's no clue whatsoever to indicate where they could possibly find her...
#PRAYING PRAYING SO HARD THE FEDERARION DELIVERS JAIDENS LETTERS AND CLUES THEM IN OR SMT#PLEASE I NEED THEM TO KNOW SHES GONE MISSING PLEASE#THERE IS LITERALLY NO POSSIBLE WAY FOR THEM TO REALIZE THAT UBKESS SOMETHING HAPPENS#BECAUSE JAIDEN DOESNT LOG ON THE SEVRER AS OFTEN AS THE OTHERS SO THEY CAN EASILY JUST CHALK IT UP TO THAT#I NEED ROIER AND CELLBIT TO FIND OUT PLEASE#paimon!speaks!#qsmp
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I’m PRAYING for PLEASE work out!!!! You deserve that apparment!!! God! I’m so excited!
ME TOOOOO!!!
#i am. so apprehensive about the deposit/'pre-paid rent' but im so happy that was even an option because with the doagy#its hard to leave for a full day of work without compromising my friend/s that are willing to help#im just praying i can push myself and make up that income with online work and hopefully patreon#i already have like a 3rd of the money needed so if i penny pinch and do some odd jobs and write my ass off#it's entirely possible!!#aaaaaaah anon im kissin you square on the mouth MWAH#tonight we cuddle in the warm embrace of hope!!!
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The beach at Yaffa is one of my favorite places in the world. We used to walk along this biiiiiiig stretch that went from Tel Ar-Rabee’a down to the old city in Yaffa and the sea was just. Right there. Honestly just sitting/leaning against the old stone wall that lines the walkway down on the Yaffa side of the beach was one of my favorite things in the world because you’d look out over the insanely blue water of the Mediterranean and see the minaret of the mosque down in the distance. People would fish and kids would ride their bikes and families would have picnics and it felt like being in another world. I miss it so much it makes me ache :(
i literally burst into tears not even a second after reading the first sentence. mashallah the beach sounds so so so beautiful i'm so happy you were able to enjoy it. i'm crying so hard over this ya rab this is so sweet and so heartbreaking to me. the pure joy of all the people and the atmosphere and the view sounds so lovely. i hope with my whole heart that you get to see the beach again. inshallah ameen
#thank you for sharing i genuinely needed this so bad#im crying really fucking hard right now ya rab i wish you could go see the beach again. i'm praying#thank you :(( ♥️
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MiqoMarch Day 08 - Fav. (Side) Job
When she's not running around as Ninja or Summoner , Arsay's next choice is the lance. Being bestowed a source of draconic power by Midgardsormr moments before his slumber, and knowing how to channel the powers of Bahamut with dreadwyrm trance, Arsay's power as a Dragoon rivals that of even the former Azure Dragoon. With that said, she'd much rather use her polearm to hunt monsters.
#miqomarch#miqomarch2024#ffxiv#miqo'te#arsay kain pose pog??#an attempt was made#I didn't want to repeat myself two years in a row lol#do love playing drg though its so fun#praying it doesnt become too different in dawntrail#in my canon Arsay never does the lancer or dragoon lv 30-60 job quests#She gets Estinien to teach her some basic moves while on the road trip to drivania#one cause she thought it looked fun two because its hard to back stab a dragon without going full shadow of the colossus on them#Shes pretty good with the lance too so she does use it on that first nidhogg fight#then she continues hvw as ninja/smn#she doesnt have any of the dragoon part of the dragoon kit until she goes through the great gooble library with y'mhitra#where they learn about dreadwyrm trance and arsay discovers her surprisingly strong connection to bahamut#y'hmitra: wow thats weird didnt you say you werent around during the calamity how did you connect to him so easily#arsay: so there's this massive hole in the ground in eastern la noscea-#When its time to end the dragonsong war for real this time in the patches she picks up the lance again and enters trance mode#She does get a job stone finally after that#its a gift from aymeric#a symbolic 'you were part of the troops' type thing#oh and later during stormblood arsay does go through Those job quests#because of course shes helping a little dragon friend#and during the omega raid series when Middy saves her life just before he goes to sleep again he gifts arsay a scale to carry with her#a bit of dragon aether to tap into when she needs it !#anyways thats arsay dragoon lore thanks for coming to my tedtalk#WOL posting#Arsay Nun
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#okay but under the influence of the same glass of wine why has praying been a straight agony for the past year#I do it but with such not good grace and it has just been so unbelievably difficult#everything is just dry as a bone#and I am really tired of it 😭😭😭#and I am NOT having a good or accepting grace about it. I am rebellious#but like.#wow it’s been so hard#anyway please pray for me? Will probably delete. i just need to say it
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A very deep magenta.
#I'm gonna try and rest#thinking hard about potentially cancelling my con trip in the wake of everything thus far#praying for a miracle#and i never pray not like this#not thinking about me like yeah im in the hot seat and in danger#but theres so many others and so many kids who are gonna pay the price#and theres the sad truth of the matter: not all of us are gonna make it to the end together#just like before#but we gotta keep loving one another for as long as we have time and space together#nothing can kill that even when hopes been obliterated#giving everyone the biggest cyber hug right now and however many forehead kisses you need#i feel like i need that too#magenta is my vent word
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