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hungermakesmonsters · 9 months ago

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Catch Me If You Can

Chapter Eighteen

Plot summary : When your friend interviews for a position at Anvil, you have a chance encounter with Billy Russo. He takes you for coffee and, by the time you’re done, Billy decides he’s anything but done with you.

Pairing : Billy Russo x Reader

Story Rating : R

Chapter Rating : PG

Warnings : [This is a fic for 18+ only, minors DNI] There's some dark stuff pertaining to an abusive past relationship, attempted murder, and vague details of a car crash. Please check the warnings on each chapter if you choose to follow this story.

Word Count : ~4.4k

A/N : Set about a week after the last one! I'm honestly a little nervous about this chapter, I hope you like it! As always thanks so much for reading!

Chapter Eighteen

The whole world came crashing down around you in a single moment.

You didn’t realise until it was too late to stop it, until it was too late to change anything and avoid the inevitable consequences.

The private investigator took the envelope full of cash before sliding the file across the table to you, sparing you one last glance and a couple of words of warning before climbing out of the booth and heading towards the exit. Your gaze followed him out of the diner and onto the street, where he walked past -

Your heart stopped.

Frank.

He had his phone out, pointing right at you through the diner window, a mix of betrayal and disappointment on his face. It took a moment to figure out what was happening, for the penny to finally drop, but when it did, you felt your entire body fill with panic; he thought you were the security threat, the person who’d been digging into anvil over the last couple of months.

Your heart started to race, knowing that he was going to tell Billy what he thought he’d seen, that he’d seen you paying off the PI who’d been snooping around Anvil. You scrambled out of the booth, almost tripping over your own feet, desperate to get to Frank and fix the situation before it spiralled out of control.

But he was already on the phone by the time you got outside. You kept the file clutched to your chest, holding it against you like a shield as you approached the imposing figure of Frank Castle, stomach knotting as you heard him speak.

“Yeah, Bill, I’ll deal with it,” his eyes fixed on you as you stopped in front of him.

You waited in silence, for a moment thinking you could just about hear Billy’s voice on the other end of the phone before Frank hung up and dropped his phone into his pocket.

“I’m gonna need you to give me that,” Frank said, holding out his hand, expecting you to hand the file over.

“I can’t.” Because, despite everything that was happening, you knew one thing for sure; you couldn’t let anyone see the file, couldn’t let them know about your past.

“Y’know, the crazy thing is that I thought Bill was gonna be the one to break your heart, not the other way around,” Frank shook his head.

“You don’t understand -”

“Pretty sure I do,” he interrupted, not willing to listen to your explanations, “you’ve had your PI lookin’ into Anvil and Bill for weeks now, so give it up.”

“No, that’s not -” but you could already tell that he wasn’t going to listen to you, that he’d made up his mind. “I need to see Billy, I have to explain this to him.”

“That’s great ‘cause he’s already waiting at Anvil for you.”

You stared at him for a moment before realising that you had a choice to make - he couldn’t very well bundle you into his car in broad daylight, but you were aware how bad it would look for you if you refused to go with him. You’d just given up every single dollar to your name for the file in your hand and, now, you needed to make sure that it hadn’t all been for nothing.

“Okay,” you relented, “take me to Billy.”

Frank gave a grunt and nodded towards his truck. You followed after him, climbing into the passenger seat and keeping your eyes fixed forward. Once he’d started the engine, you reached for your phone, hastily typing up a message to Karen, wanting to try and explain what was going on before Frank told her.

“Who you texting?” Frank asked suddenly, taking his eyes off the road.

“Karen, I -” he snatched your phone before you could finish, your thumb managing to hit send on the half finished message as he pulled it away from you. “What the fuck?”

“You’re not draggin’ Karen into this shit,” he told you, his eyes returning to the road just in time to keep from running a red light - a sharp stop that caused your anxiety to spike even more, reminding you of the accident years ago. You were so distracted that you only caught the last half of what Frank was saying, “- when Bill’s done with you.”

You didn’t argue, didn’t ask him to repeat himself. You just wanted him to concentrate on the road. So, you remained silent, clutching the file to your chest and watching out the windscreen. The way he drove across the city made your heart race and your chest tighten, practically jumping out of your skin with every screech of brakes or honk of a horn.

And, when you reached Anvil some fifteen minutes later, you were quick to scramble out of the truck, almost gasping for breath.

He gave another grunt, indicating that you should follow him and, stupidly, you did just that. You didn’t realise that anything was wrong until you were in the elevator and realised that you were being taken down to the basement level instead of up to Billy’s office.

“Why aren’t we going to Billy’s office?” You asked, dread already starting to coil in your stomach.

“Bill doesn’t want you in his office,” Frank answered as the doors slid open, revealing a cold and terrifying looking corridor.

“I want my phone back.” You told him, unable to stop the fear from filling your tone.

“Told you, you can have it back when Bill’s done with you,” he motioned for you to start moving and, with no other option, you did.

When the elevator doors slid shut, your thoughts started to spiral to dark places you didn’t want them to go, to memories of feeling trapped and powerless. A lump rose in your throat and tears were already starting to sting your eyes as your footsteps echoed down the long hallway. When Frank stopped and opened a door, you let him usher you inside before you realised your mistake.

The door closed behind you, leaving you trapped and alone in what appeared to be an interrogation room. Had your state of mind been better, you might have realised that the room was used for training new recruits and conducting interviews but, since you were panicking, all you could think was that you were going to be trapped there until you confessed to all of the things you hadn’t done.

You turned back to the door quickly, pulling at the handle. You weren’t surprised to find it locked, but it did nothing to stop the panic that was raging inside of you.

The room had a long metal table and two chairs, one on either side, but you didn’t move to sit. You couldn’t move at all, terror had you rooted in place, your fingers still tightly gripping the file against your chest. There was a camera blinking in the corner of the room and you felt your stomach drop; was Billy watching you right now, could he see the terror on your face? (And, if he could, why wasn’t he coming to help you?)

Minutes passed before Billy stepped into the room. You stayed frozen as he stepped around you and you waited - you waited for him to tell you that this was all some big mistake, that he knew you’d never do the things Frank had accused you of. But it never came. As he took a seat, your eyes closed tight, silently willing yourself to wake up from this nightmare.

Another minute passed in total silence, like he was waiting for you to speak first and dig your own grave, but you couldn’t even look at him, much less form the words you needed to explain all of this to him.

“Just give me the file,” he finally said.

“I can’t,” you shook your head, eyes still closed tight.

“Who are you working for?” There was something cold in his voice, something broken and full of pain and, despite everything he was putting you thought, some part of you longed to comfort him.

“No one, I’m not -”

“Don’t lie to me!” The sound of his open palm hitting the surface of the table caused you to flinch, your eyes opening as you took a step back and pressed yourself against the wall, needing to put as much distance between you and Billy as possible. “You paid someone to look into Anvil, into me.”

“No, that’s not what happened! You don’t understand -”

“What were you after; finances? Mission details? How much were you getting paid?” His tone got sharper with every word.

“I wasn’t after anything, that’s not what this is. It’s not about Anvil -” you tried desperately still, somehow, holding onto some small glimmer of hope that you could fix things before they got too broken.

“Bullshit!”

“Please, Billy,” you struggled to find the words in your panic, “you promised that you’d trust me, that you’d -”

“I did trust you!”

His use of the past tense caused something to break inside of you, and you felt a sort of pain that you hadn’t felt in years, the sort of pain that could only be inflicted by someone you loved.

“Stop, please, Billy just -” you tried again, blinking back tears.

Everything was falling apart around you, the future you’d let yourself hope for was slipping away; you were going to move in with him, you were going to go work for The Bulletin, and you were finally going to start rebuilding your life after so many years of just existing and scraping a living. All your dreams were dying all at once, all because he wouldn’t listen to you, because he couldn’t trust you.

Some part of you knew that if you could just find the words, you’d be able to make him understand, but your panicked, racing mind couldn’t focus enough to say or do anything to help fix things.

“How long?” He asked coldly, ignoring your tears. “How long have you been lying to me, using me?”

“I wasn’t lying! Why won’t you listen to me? Why can’t you trust me?” You heard yourself begging desperately.

“Because you’ve been lying to me for months!” His voice got louder, sharper, and you no longer recognised the man in front of you. This wasn’t your Billy, this was someone else entirely. “You know, you really had me fooled, pretending to be this wounded little thing, acting like you wanted me, like we had something.”

“It wasn’t an act!” You managed to raise your voice to match him, desperate to make him listen, to convince him that you still cared, but Billy didn’t even seem to hear it. “Please, just - just let me explain. I can explain this.”

“Explain what? That none of this was real? That you tricked me into wanting you so you could get close enough to stab me in the back? Did you get paid extra to fuck me or was jumping into my bed just part of the game for you?” You could still hear the pain in his tone, but the moment Billy said those words to you, something inside of you snapped.

Your stomach continued to tie itself in knots. You hated every little thing about this, hated how he thought you were as bad as all of the other people who had used him and lied to him to get what they wanted. But your pain quickly started to turn to anger - he wasn’t the only one who’d ever been hurt, he wasn’t the only one who’d been lied to and used. As hurt as Billy obviously was by this whole situation, he’d broken his promises to you; he wouldn’t listen, wouldn’t hear you out, wouldn’t trust you.

You were being blamed for something you hadn’t done and you were going to lose everything because of it. Again.

“You think I jumped into bed with you?” Your tone turned sharper, colder, and more certain - because, in all of this, if you were certain of one thing, it was that you did not just jump into bed with him. Finally you had his attention, just in time for you to tell him; “falling in love with you is the hardest thing I’ve ever done, Billy. And you’ve just managed to prove why it was such a stupid idea.”

It was the first time you’d dared utter that you loved him aloud, but you were no longer scared of how he was going to react to the revelation or how vulnerable it would make you feel. It was too late to care about any of that. You’d come to Anvil hoping to save things with Billy but that dream was now over.

And, for the first time since all of this began, you realised that the truth of your past couldn’t hurt you anymore. It didn’t matter if Billy knew because he’d already given up on you, whatever was between you was over now, and everything you’d done to try and preserve it had been for nothing.

“Fine,” you relented, forcing yourself to step away from the wall and towards the table. Once you were close enough you slammed the file down in front of him so hard that its contents spilled out across the table; photographs of you, notes about your work, your friends and your finances.

Billy’s eyes dropped, quickly looking over it, starting to move things, rummaging through the paperwork, trying to make sense of it.

“It was never about you or Anvil. He was looking for me. And I just spent every penny I had paying him off so I wouldn’t have to leave New York, so I wouldn’t have to leave you. But I guess the jokes on me, because you don’t even care enough to keep your promises to me and just listen for five fucking minutes.” By the time you’d finished, you had to cover your mouth to try and suppress the sobs that were desperate to escape you.

Billy stayed silent, rifling through the pages and photographs in front of him, seeming to become more frantic with every passing second as he looked for something, anything, to prove that he hadn’t just destroyed your relationship for nothing.

You watched him for a second, knowing exactly what he’d find in the file, and knowing the questions he’d inevitably have for you when he found the details of your sister's death, and the car crash that had left you scarred. But it was too late for any of that now, he’d lost any right to ask anything about your past.

Moving back to the door, you gave the handle a sharp tug, even though you were pretty certain that the door was still locked.

“Wait -” his broken tone caused you to bristle. Where once you would have felt compassion, you now only felt anger.

“Let me out.”

“I don’t understand,” he told you, as he got to his feet and started to move towards you, his expression one of confusion instead of anger. You held up a hand, wanting him to keep his distance and Billy stopped. In his hand he was holding a copy of the photograph that he’d seen on your bedside table all those weeks ago, the photo of you and your siblings as children. “Please, help me understand this. I want to understand.”

“Which part, Billy? The part where you refused to listen, when you wouldn’t hear me out, when you wouldn’t trust me like you promised?” A hand scrubbed at your cheek, desperately trying to wipe away your tears, not wanting him to see just how much he’d wounded you. “Or the part where you thought so little of me that you thought I was fucking you just to get information on your company?”

“I didn’t know, I -”

“You wouldn’t let me explain!” You yelled and it was Billy’s turn to flinch at your tone. “I gave up everything I had to get that file, and now it doesn’t even matter. None of this matters anymore.”

“It matters, it -” he tried, obviously struggling for words, “- why didn’t you tell me?

“Why didn’t you believe me?” you threw back at him. ”Why is it so hard for you to trust me? Do you even trust anyone?”

“I’m sorry, I never -”

“Just - just stop. It’s too late.” You shook your head. It hurt too much and every word, every plea that left him only made the ache in your chest feel worse. “You promised me that you’d listen. I trusted you and you ruined it. You’ve ruined us.”

“No... don’t say that. Please, don’t say that.” His voice continued to crack and break, and it was almost enough to make you want to back down, but you knew you couldn’t. Not after this. He’d broken his promise to you and left you feeling more wounded and alone than you’d ever felt. “I’m sorry, let me fix this, sweetheart, please.”

“Fix this?” You almost managed to laugh through the tears. “There is no fixing this, Billy. You’ve ruined it. You broke my heart.”

“No, no... please, I -” for a moment he looked at you like those three little words were on the tip of his tongue, like he was ready to confess his love, but you didn’t want to hear it.

“Just stop. You don’t get to fight for me, Billy. Not now. Not after this.” You told him angrily. “I told you I couldn’t do this if you didn’t trust me.”

“You said you fell in love with me,” the words came out so softly that you almost didn’t hear them.

You could see the thinly masked distress on his face, the pain and misery that you’d managed to cause with that one, silly admission. You hated yourself for blurting it out like that, like you were some character in a soap opera or some shitty romance novel. And, if he’d been anyone else, you might have been angrier at his obliviousness to your feelings - of course you’d fallen in love with him, it had been so fucking obvious - but Billy had always been honest with you; he didn’t know love, didn’t understand it. All the people who were supposed to love him and abandoned him.

But not you. That was not what this was. You weren’t abandoning him, he’s pushed you to breaking point. This time it was Billy’s fault.

“What did you think was gonna happen?” You dared to ask, not even bothering to try and hide your pain anymore. “I’m not like you, Billy, I can’t just turn off my emotions whenever things get difficult.”

“You love me?” He took a step closer, the look on his face suggesting that he still thought that there was some way that he could fix things.

“It doesn’t matter anymore.”

“It matters to me, please, I -”

The door opened and, before he could finish that thought, you were rushing back out into the hallway, trying to put as much distance between yourself and Billy as possible. He followed after, your name dying on his lips when he saw Karen and Frank standing there.

“Sorry, Bill, she -” Frank started, looking at Karen who was now holding your phone.

“You’re both assholes,” she stated and neither man dared argue with her. Obviously, thankfully, she’d managed to figure out what was going on and where you were just from the half of a text message that you’d managed to send before Frank had confiscated your phone.

Her arm quickly pulled around your shoulders and she started to lead you towards the elevator while you tried to choke back tears. You didn’t dare look back until you were in the elevator; Billy looked heartbroken, following after you but keeping his distance.

“Please, I -” he tried.

“You’ve done enough, Billy. Just leave her alone.” Karen snapped as the doors slid shut and, a moment later, the floodgates opened and you started to sob uncontrollably, knowing that you’d lost everything.

TWO HOURS EARLIER.

Your heart was racing, thumping out a painful and uneven beat in your chest.

When Karen had told you that a private investigator had been asking around about you at The Bulletin, you’d put things together pretty quickly. You had her set up a meeting later that morning for you, hoping that you could fix things before they got out of control, even though your every instinct told you to pack a bag and get out of New York as quickly as you could.

You didn’t want to have to run, you didn’t want to leave the life that you were starting to build in the city. You didn’t want to leave the man that you loved.

Before heading to the diner to meet the PI, you stopped at the bank, withdrawing every penny that had, hoping that it would be enough, hoping that you could pay him off and fix everything before things spun out of control.

He was already waiting in the diner when you arrived, sitting in a booth by the window; a grizzled looking guy, well into his forties, who’d obviously been in the PI game for decades. As you slid into the seat opposite him, you felt your guts start to twist with a mix of anxiety and fear.

“If I’d known that this was the quickest way to get you out of hiding, I’d’ve done it weeks ago,” he stated before you’d even gotten comfortable. “I take it you wanted to meet to make me an offer?”

You took a breath, trying to steady your still-racing heart. “How much would it cost for you to go back to Florida and pretend you couldn’t find me?”

He almost seemed shocked that you knew where he was from for a second, but it was quickly hidden behind a lazy sort of smile.

“More than you’ve got,” he stated and your heart sank. “I’m a little surprised that you don’t seem surprised by any of this.”

“I’m not,” you offered, already feeling like you were wasting your time. “I knew it was only a matter of time before Scott started looking for me. Did he tell you why - did he tell you why he wants to find me?”

“No, and I didn’t bother to ask - usually don’t when the money’s this good.” He shrugged before sitting forward in his seat. “Go on then; what’d you do to this guy? I figured you either broke his heart or you took something of his. Must’ve been something big for you to spend these last few years running all up and down the country.”

“I didn’t do anything,” you voice cracked at how helpless you suddenly felt, “He tried to kill me, and that’s probably why he wants me back.”

That seemed to unsettle the PI and you decided to use it to your advantage.

“I take it you know about the accident?” You asked and the PI gave an awkward sort of nod, not knowing what point you were going to try to make. “It wasn’t an accident, he deliberately swerved the car off the road because I’d finally told him that I was leaving him.” Your voice continued to crack, threatening to break. “He pulled himself out of the car and left me there to die. I had to crawl through fire and broken glass to save myself,” you rolled up your sleeve, letting him see the scars, along with the sickening S that Scott had carved into your skin. “That’s why he wants to know where I am. He wants to finish the job.”

The PI let out a slow exhale and it was more than obvious from the way he shifted in his seat that he hadn’t been expecting that story, that he’d been lied to and used by Scott.

A trembling hand wiped at your eye, you were determined not to cry despite everything you’d just been forced to reveal.

“Look, I feel for you, but this is a big payday and -”

You reached into your purse and quickly placed the envelope on the table between you.

“That’s everything I have,” you told him, sniffing back tears, “you can have it all, just - please, give me the file and don’t tell him I’m here. I just want to be able to live my life. I don’t want to have to start over again.”

“You’d leave that rich boyfriend of yours?” He asked, like he almost didn’t believe what you were trying to tell him.

“If I had to. But I don’t want to. Scott has already stolen years of my life, please don’t help him take more. There’s just over fifteen grand in that envelope, I know it’s not a lot but -”

Your heart threatened to stop as he picked up the envelope and started thumbing through the stack of notes inside.

“This is everything you’ve got,” he stated with the certainty of someone who’d looked into your accounts. “You’re willing to give up everything just to make sure this guy doesn’t find you?”

“Yes...”

The moment that followed seemed to linger for an eternity; him looking at you like he was trying to decide what to do, while you stared back, silently praying to any god that might listen to you.

There was no holding back the relieved sob that slipped from you when he finally put the envelope in his pocket and slid the file across the table to you.

“I’ll tell him I lost track of you after the six months you spent in Chicago.”

“Thank you.

He gave something of a grumble as he started to pull his coat on and got to his feet, ready to walk away, but something made him stop. “Y’know, that boyfriend of yours isn’t as squeaky clean as you think. I’d be careful if I were you - and, maybe, you should ask him where his mother is.”

He didn’t give you the chance to ask what he meant, before he turned and left the diner, your gaze following him out the door and onto the street, watching as walked right past Frank Castle, who was holding his phone and photographing the entire exchange.

Chapter Nineteen

END NOTES : Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ok so this is probably the chapter than I've been most nervous about so I hope people enjoy the drama and angst! I know this probably wasn't what people were expecting from this chapter, but I won't say too much because I don't want to spoil anything for future chapters.

As always thanks so much for reading and sticking with this, it really does mean the world to me!

If you want adding/removing from the tag list let me know (I know it’s not working for everyone - if it’s not working and you don’t want to miss a chapter, I post every Friday around 7:30pm gmt)

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@rensolodriver @lovelydoveval @doloreschanal @damagelove @danzer8705 @unlikelystarlightcowboy @schlotzshewrote @bisexualbith @uncontainedsmiles @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @lilliesofmay @billyrussoslut @readingabouthim @arwensloanebarnes @scarlettrikstr

#billy russo #billy russo x reader #billy russo x female reader #billy russo fanfic #the punisher #cmiyc ff #billy russo imagine

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burnthoneydrops · 8 months ago

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Luckiest Man on the Planet (g.d. x fem!reader)

pairing: graham dunne x fem!reader

word count: 2.9k (whoops, had fun with this one haha)

warnings: talk of having children, use of "she/her" pronouns, Billy (if he counts as his own warning)

a/n: I miss when djats was popular on here so I decided to hopefully help the revival by adding the to the graham fic collection! hope everyone enjoys, this one's just cute. also REQUESTS ARE OPEN

You wanted-no needed- this moment to be perfect. You were not going to be happy if the money you had spent on plane tickets was going towards a ruined surprise, so you absolutely needed this to be perfect. It felt weird complaining about your long distance relationship when it wasn’t long distance all of the time and you knew other couples had it worse, but you’d be damned if your heart didn’t sink a little every time you thought about how far away Graham was, and would continue to be, for the next few months. That distance wouldn’t last forever though, thank the universe, as the people at the gate’s front desk were announcing that your flight to New York would start boarding shortly.

“Ok, they’re about to start boarding, but I’ll call you when I land ok?” You hugged the phone to your ear, peering over your shoulder to make sure you weren’t missing anything and twisting the spiral cord with your finger.

“Yeah, sounds good. I told Rod that we’d need an extra car to be sent to the airport so you won’t need a cab or anything,” Eddie replied through the phone.

“Oh, you didn’t need to do that,” you laughed, flattered by the effort.

“Oh yes I did. I-We’re not having you come all the way out here just to get stuck in New York traffic”.

“Anything that gets me to Graham faster. And you guys of course,” you quickly added before saying your goodbyes, noticing the boarding line was getting smaller.

The plane was incredibly boring, and the baby two rows behind you did not shut up the entire time, but you realised you managed to make that about Graham too, wondering how you two would handle it differently if it was your child screaming in a crowded plane. Luckily you had brought a book with you to zone in on, but nothing holds more power than the lungs of an upset child. You couldn’t stop your knee from bouncing, meaning you accidentally bumped too hard and kicked the seat of the person in front of you, earning some not so polite stares from the elderly man who sat there. Relief flooded over you when you heard the pilot announce that you would soon be landing, so much so that you kicked the seat once again, gaining another dirty look.

As you stood up to exit your row, you looked across the plane, making eye contact with the previously screaming child. The little girl stopped wriggling around in her mother’s arms, staring at nothing but you as you gave her a little wave with the hand not holding your carry on. You smiled before the man behind you got impatient and cleared his throat as an indication that he wanted to move forward, so you only widened your smile with one last wave before hearing the baby laugh as you left the area. You and Graham hadn’t even had the talk about whether you wanted kids, not to mention how you would raise them or what kind of life they would lead. You had no doubt he would be a great father, but with the band already raising Julia, you figured you could push that thought out of your head for a little longer.

When you were able to escape the gaggle of people who were standing in the boarding area you had just entered, you visually located the nearest phone, putting your backpack and suitcase aside to call Eddie. You glanced at the hotel’s phone number you had scribbled on the back of your boarding pass when you called from L.A., and started tapping your foot once again as the phone rang aggressively in your ear.

“Hey, you made it,” you sighed in relief when Eddie answered the phone.

“The most boring cross country flight of my life, but yes I made it,” you chuckled.

“The only cross country flight of your life if I’m not mistaken. You rode in the van with us from Pittsburg, remember?”

“How could I forget the bumpy roads and almost running out of gas in the middle of nowhere Missouri?”

“But it was more enjoyable than what you just went through?”

“Well yeah. Anytime with you is more enjoyable than by myself,” you glanced out the window at the line of planes waiting to take off as there’s an awkward pause on the line. “I mean, the band makes everything more fun,” you continued, hoping the conversation hadn’t died.

“Right, yeah for sure,” Eddie came back to life, informing you soon after that there’d be a taxi driver waiting for you. He shouldn’t be hard to spot, you had been promised, and with how much you just wanted to run into Graham’s arms right now, you hoped for everyone’s sake that that was true. The taxi driver was easy enough to spot, holding a white sign with your name scribbled on it and an uncomfortable look on his face in the crowded area. He reached out his arm to you, which made you chuckle in response before shaking his hand, trying to keep your backpack atop your shoulder.

“Your bag, miss,” he gestured to the suitcase you currently were wheeling behind you, and you realised that he really didn’t want to shake your hand and now his sweaty palm was awkwardly entangled in yours. You quickly let go before clearing your throat in embarrassment and handing him your bag, after which he quickly made his way to the exit doors so you two could finish this journey as quickly as possible. You used the time in the taxi to take in all the sites of New York. You had been as a kid, but it felt different now, like there was something new in the air. The hotel crept into view as the traffic was touch and go, but soon enough you were informing the lady working the front desk that you had a reservation and picked up a spare key to Graham’s room. You and Eddie agreed that you could use the time the band would be soundchecking at the venue to settle into Graham’s room for after the surprise, and you had thanked him again profusely when you heard Billy yelling down the hallway that they were all going to be late. Billy’s yelling was not something you missed while they were on tour, but if it came as a side effect of being in Graham’s arms again, you would listen to it again and again.

The buzz in the venue was palpable when you walked in through the side entrance, trying to keep yourself hidden as much as possible given your mission. The bar at the back of the venue seemed like a great place to hide, and you kept yourself occupied by browsing the alcohol choices and chatting with the bartender until you heard three familiar voices making their way over. Warren, Eddie and Graham had decided to come up to the bar and you quickly ducked down under the bar, hoping the bartender wouldn’t expose you while they were there. You kept your back against the main island, facing the wall of bottles and mirrors, just being able to see the top of the familiar head of curls from your angle. The thin bottles distorted him a little bit, but your heart swelled at the sight of Graham just as it did every other time.

“Tonight’s gonna be great man,” Warren commented, the bartender sliding a glass over to him.

“Yeah, the fans aren’t even outside yet and the energy is killer,” Eddie replied, and you thought of the line of people you had passed out front on your way around the building. Thankfully no one had recognized you, and it only filled you with pride to see everyone who was there to support them.

“Yeah,” Graham nodded, sounding more sullen than usual.

“Come on man, lighten up. You’ve been acting weird since we got in the van this morning,” Warren nudged him, and you heard a leg kick the supporting wall of the island.

“He’s just upset that his usual good luck call didn’t go through,” Eddie added.

Graham got in the habit of calling you before every show as a nervous tendency, as the sound of your voice usually calmed him down better than whatever cheesy peptalk Billy wanted to give.

Warren whistled when Graham didn’t reply, and you figured he made a face of some kind, exposing that Eddie was right. “Man, she has got you hooked, lined and sinkered”.

“And what if she does? She always answers, so I feel out of sorts I guess. When you guys find people to love, you’ll understand,” Graham replied, trying to keep it light hearted at the end.

“Hey, that was personal”.

“Woah dude, what was that for?” He had set the boys in a defensive spiral.

“We get it, you think she’s the one or whatever,” Warren teased.

Your cheeks heated up, and it took all of you to stay in your crouched position, hoping nothing was going to squeak or hiss and give you away. The boys finally decided to walk away when Karen called them, saying they had to clear out before they opened the doors. You let out a loud sigh of relief when the bartender gave you a thumbs up to say they were gone, as being able to move your legs from their cramped position was a god send.

“That kid seems to really love you,” the bartender commented as he gave you his hand to help you up.

“Yeah well, I really love him too,” you said, not looking at him but at the stage where your boyfriend and his band would soon be standing.

As the crowd shuffled in, you tried to stay relatively in the middle, hoping that whatever part of the stage Graham stood on he would be able to see you eventually. There was a hushed sensation in the crowd as people chatted and got drinks, but as the lights dimmed, the excitement grew, and a few people started whooping and cheering prematurely. Pretty soon the band was running on stage to an enormous eruption of applause, and the smile on each of their faces made you smile even bigger. From Chuck’s garage in Pittsburg to selling out venues across the country, you could not be more proud of the people in front of you, and you hoped all your efforts today proved that.

“Well hello there everybody,” the familiar redhead greeted the audience, gaining even more shouts and cheers of joy from the people in front of her. “We’ve got a very special performance for you tonight, so we hope you’re ready to rock just as much as we are. How’s everybody feeling tonight?!” She yelled into the microphone as people clapped and hollered back. “Alright well, let’s see what you’ve got!” She smiled as Warren counted everybody off from his spot on the back of the stage and it was like the gates were opened at the Kentucky Derby. The energy radiating off of the band members and the audience was infectious, but you had your sights set on one person. Graham always did look his happiest on stage, getting to do what he loved with people he loved, and you were always excited when you got to witness that pure, unbridled joy on his face.

A few songs in, you noticed Karen scanning the crowd, and as she landed on your section, you gave her a small wave. Your hopes that she noticed you were answered as a large smile broke out on her face, glancing back at the keyboard in shock before looking back to make sure it was really you. You laughed and gave her a big thumbs up in confirmation, and she was quick to call Billy’s name, nodding her head in your direction. The second band member to notice you, Billy’s eyebrows went up in shock when he spotted you, a smirk and an eye roll being his secondary reaction before he turned back to the microphone. After you had confirmation that at least half of the stage knew you were there, you kept your attention on the other half, staring at Graham as he shredded the guitar. A light sheen of sweat had gathered on his forehead, and as he wiped his curls back with his sleeve, Billy took a few steps back to get his attention. You saw him whisper something in Graham’s ear before his eyes went manic, scanning the audience with intense feverency.

Once his eyes landed on yours, everything stopped. The people around you seemed to be dancing in slow motion, and the music sounded like blurred-together lines of nothing as you saw the biggest smile form on your boyfriend’s face. Everything might have stopped a little too abruptly, as you saw Daisy look back at him in confusion when there was suddenly no guitar part being played. He shook his head and started playing again, quickly making eye contact with you again; a state he would remain in the entire show.

When the show was over, security scurried over to you as people filed out, informing you that you were to be taken backstage. You got a few odd looks from a couple of girls who had been standing around you during this invitation, but all you cared about was that the moment you had been waiting for was finally here. You followed behind them until you could see the group of familiar people chatting and packing up their equipment. Graham had his back turned to the door, but Eddie had spotted you first, shoving Graham’s shoulder and pointing to the door. It was then that you couldn’t contain your excitement anymore and you brushed past the security guards, breaking into a full sprint as Graham waited with open arms. He wrapped his arms around your waist as you jumped to wrap your legs around his, his grip tightening with every second as if you’d disappear when he’d let go. He laughed as he leaned his forehead on yours, the shock from your appearance having not quite worn off yet.

“Oh my god I can’t believe you’re here,” he mutters, leaning his neck further back to actually see your whole face.

“You didn’t think I’d miss seeing my favourite guitarist did you?”

“I thought that was me?” Eddie teased from his spot against the wall, which earned him a slap on the bicep from Karen and a strict instruction to shut up.

“How did you even? What? How are you-?”

“Eddie and I arranged it all. I missed you too much to be stuck in L.A. all by myself”.

“Oh my god, I’m so in love with you it’s not even funny,” Graham let out a breathy laugh and your heart almost stopped. Even though you two had been dating for a while, you had said that you wanted to take things slow, given that your last relationship didn’t end so well. This meant that even though you and Graham were both in agreement that you loved each other, this agreement had been almost exclusively nonverbal. Neither of you had said anything yet, partially in fear that you’d take things too quickly and someone would feel pressure (at least that’s what you felt when your ex wanted to take things at what felt like a million miles an hour). So, in an effort to keep things calm and relaxed, neither of you had said anything close to the L word, and this moment took you by surprise.

Silence fell between the two of you, as Graham was waiting for you to say something and you were frozen. As if just realising what he said, Graham’s face fell into one of panic as he gingerly placed you down on the ground. “Oh no, I didn’t mean-. Please don’t take that to mean you have to say anything back I just-”

“Graham?” You stopped him rambling as you saw Karen and Daisy corralling the boys out of the room.

“Yeah?”

“I love you,” you said without looking at him, mostly because you were scared he would bolt the other direction and you would fly back to L.A. in tears.

You felt two fingers gently grab your chin, and Graham tilted your head up to look at him. “You sure? Cause I don’t want you to say it just because I said something”.

You nodded, “I’m sure”.

He smiled and let out another airy chuckle as he leaned down, grabbing both sides of your face before capturing your lips with his. The electricity between you started buzzing as it always did in moments like these, and he was quick to tap his fingers on your lower back, signalling you to jump up and wrap around him like you had previously. The two of you laughed in between kisses until you heard a gagging sound from down the hall.

“Get a room!” Eddie yelled.

“Where do you think we’re going?” Graham yelled back, causing you to laugh in embarrassment and bury your head in his shoulder.

“I love you Graham,” you commented, though muffled from his shirt fabric.

“What was that?” He teased. You knew damn well he heard you the first time.

“I love you,” you said a bit louder, still in his shirt.

“I’m sorry, one more time. I couldn’t hear you”.

“God damn it Graham, I love you,” you finally lifted your head and said it while looking directly in his eyes.

“I love you too, I just wanted to hear you say it again,” he laughed. “I’m the luckiest man on the planet!” He yelled for everyone to hear, gaining groans and yells of embarrassment and annoyance from his bandmates. Not that he cared though, he was just telling the truth.

#daisy jones and the six #djats #djats x reader #graham dunne #graham dunne x reader #graham dunne fanfiction #graham dunne x you #djats fanfiction #daisy jones fanfiction

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analogwriting · 1 year ago

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It Comes in Waves

Chapter 3: Surging Waves

Trafalgar Law x gn!reader tw; some violence and mentions of slavery word count: 3.9k first|prev|next

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Six months have passed. Six months since you saw Luffy off. Six months since you've seen the Heart Pirates. Six months since Ace died. That day still haunted you and it’s all the papers talked about for weeks. You had only read the first one, barely able to stomach it. He had taken a molten fist through the chest by the same guy who had almost taken Luffy from you. The one you had hit with a spear.

If only you could’ve been there sooner…would it have made a difference?

Ace wasn’t the only significant death in the war. The world had lost an emperor and a father figure to many. Edward Newgate, also known as ‘Whitebeard.’ He was Ace’s captain and a wonderful man. You had the pleasure of meeting him a few times. He was always kind and caring, you could see why so many people called him ‘pops.’ You even found yourself calling him the same. He had even asked you to join his crew a couple of times, but you declined every time. He respected your decision, never pushing you but always welcoming your visits. Learning that he also died had sent you into an even deeper spiral.

After you left on your own, you threw yourself into work. The work that always prevented you from joining anyone’s crew. The work that you had been part of for a bit over a decade now. The work that had granted you your high bounty and made you an enemy of the Celestial Dragons. It was neverending work.

When Ace died and you left Luffy, you were so angry at the world. How could it take more people from you? Hadn’t you suffered enough? You took it out in your work. You were ruthless and relentless in your mission, giving yourself no time to rest in between heists. You were running yourself ragged, which almost landed you in the hands of the marines a couple of times.

As time ebbed on, the anger subsided and you let yourself slow down. You were running on fumes and that wouldn’t help anyone. If anything, you could make situations worse for everyone involved. You needed to take time to reboot. You also figured it was time to…process. Something you didn’t let yourself do. You’d kept your mind busy with your mission that you didn’t have time to dwell on it.

The island you landed on was that of a tropical one. Those were the ones you liked to stop at. They…reminded you of home. This one even had a large market that reminded you of the ones your island would have. Busy streets, lots of exotic foods, smiling faces of laughing families. It was bittersweet in your eyes.

You wandered the streets, taking it all in. You liked to familiarize yourself with the area before you settled in for the night. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary for the most part. It seemed to be a peaceful place and somewhat of a resort hotspot. That could be good or that could be bad. And you were about to find out that it would be the latter.

Someone called your name. Not your name you go by everyday, no. But your government name. The one that was all over your wanted posters. The one people weren’t supposed to know if you weren’t in your iconic cloak. You weren’t supposed to be recognizable.

Your blood ran cold and you faltered in your steps. A hand wrapped around your arm, catching you in an iron grip. Slowly, your head turned around as the voice also was familiar. Your eyes trailed up and it was him. Dalton Anwir. The man that had led the invasion of your island, slaughtered and enslaved your people. Enslaved you.

“I found you,” he spat, pure venom dripping into his words as his grip tightened on your arm. You shook your head, feeling panic set in. All of your years of fighting suddenly leaving you. You had no idea how to react right now. “I-I think you're mistaken,” you stammered, trying to pull away but unable to put up much of a fight with the amount of fear currently coursing through your veins. You wouldn’t be surprised if you were shaking. You could already hear the world growing more and more distant, the cries of your people echoing in your mind.

He suddenly grabbed your necklace and you stopped moving. “I can recognize this a mile away.” A malicious smile spread across his face. “You know your little stunt got me demoted. I acquired all those slaves but you were the one that a very important person wanted most.” He closed your necklace in his hand. “I know how important this is to your people. I don't know why, just that it is.” He pulled it slowly towards him and you followed. You couldn’t let it break. It was not only important in general but it was all you had left and carried everything you held dear to you. Close to your heart.

You knew it wouldn't break easy but you also couldn't let him tug it off either. You stayed there, staring at him, and unable to form words. Your mind was spinning. This couldn’t be happening. He couldn’t be here. He couldn’t recognize you. Why? Why did this have to happen?

Then a fist connected with your jaw and you began to fall to the ground when you felt him grab a fistful of your hair and pull you back up causing you to cry out in pain. The world turned blurry and the edges of your vision darkened. You couldn't think straight. How the hell was this happening? The last time you saw him was the North Blue. How the hell was he here? In the New World? There was no fucking way that this was happening right now.

“Please, just let me go,” you pleaded weakly, causing him to laugh. It was the first words you were really able to form and it fell on deaf ears. Not that you expected him to listen in the first place. “You think I'm going to let you go again? Absolutely not. You're coming with me and I'm getting my position back.”

He yanked you by your hair once more and you cried out once again, hands flying to the hand that was pulling on your hair. “Please!” You were desperate. You had no idea what to do. Everything you knew was gone and once more, you felt like the small child you once were. You pleaded then, just as you were now. The results were the same.

He lifted you by your hair and his fist connected to your jaw again but this time he let you fall to the ground. Once more, the world spun and your vision went white for a moment. Your head smacked the ground pretty hard and you were fighting to stay conscious at this point. Suddenly, you felt a heavy boot connect with your stomach and the world grew darker. A ring started in your ears - high pitched and annoying. You started coughing, spitting blood onto the gravel below you. You felt your body growing heavier and heavier but you couldn’t let yourself pass out.

You looked up, world still spinning and blurry. After a moment, you were able to make out his outline and his leg was rearing back, getting ready to connect with your stomach once again. You didn’t even have the strength to vocally protest let alone physically.

“Room.”

A voice rang through the alleyway, almost omnipresent. A blue light enveloped you - almost too bright. You moved your hands to shield your eyes only to realize it wasn’t a light source. What the hell? Your head was ringing so you couldn't really make out the voice either. You watched as the man began to bring his foot down to stomp on you when you heard the omnipotent voice once more.

“Shambles.”

Next thing you knew, you were wrapped around something both soft like fur and rough like clothing. You blinked, trying to make the world stop spinning and make sense of the world around you. “W-what?” The attempt at speaking threw you into another coughing fit and you covered your mouth with your hand, wincing as you did so. Broken ribs definitely. When you pulled your hand away, you noticed more blood. Shit, you might just die.

Now that you weren’t in harm’s way and had a moment to recollect yourself, the world stopped spinning and it was slightly clearer. It was still a lot, however. You also weren’t at your best either.You hadn’t been taking care of yourself, after all.

“Y/n?” You looked up, noticing that you were in the arms of a polar bear. You were about to freak out before your memory helped you out. Right. He was part of that one guy’s crew. What was his name? Tra-? Traf? Traffy? No, that wasn’t right. You also just couldn’t think right now.

“Hey! What the fuck do you think you're doing?” Dalton barked. That's when you noticed the captain standing in front of you with two other crew members. What were their names? Then the duo looked back at you, offering a thumbs up and a smile. Their names hit you. Shachi and Penguin. You remembered playing cards with them one night when you were staying with them. They were scary good at poker.

You looked towards their captain, taking in his lanky figure. Right. That was Trafalgar Law. It was coming back now.

You blinked, unable to process that this was happening. What were the fucking odds? Did the gods finally decide to have mercy on you? Let you live this miserable life a little longer?

Law didn't answer the prick, looking back to you and quickly assessing your wounds. The expression on his face was illegible but he almost looked…concerned? You didn’t know why. You weren’t on his crew and you weren’t exactly friends. You owed him for saving Luffy but he didn’t owe you anything so…why was he helping?

“You know this is stealing, right?” Those words seemed to ignite a fire in Law’s eyes and anger flowed into them. He turned, very calmly, to the man a few feet from them. Dalton took a few steps forward but once he saw Law’s glare, he stopped.

“Stealing?” The grip on his sword grew tighter. Anger seemed to be radiating off of him despite the poker face he had.

“Yes. That's property of the Celestial Dragons, you see. I'm just taking them back where they belong.” The man smirked, thinking he had the upper hand by mentioning you belong to them. That’s how it usually worked. Throw the name Celestial Dragon out and people did whatever you wanted. They ruled the seas, after all. They were in control and always got what they wanted.

Law didn’t even flinch at the mention of them. His face remained the same, almost bored. “Yeah? Well, I'm a pirate. Stealing is what I do.” He lifted his hand.

“Room.” Once more, the blue hue formed, gathering around the area. “Amputate.”

In a flash, the man was in pieces, though not bleeding and still alive. Law was sheathing his sword and you blinked. You hadn’t even seen the doctor move. You blamed it on the state you were in. Everything seemed like it was moving fast and you were having trouble following anything.

“Hey! You can't just leave me like this!” Dalton screamed, the parts wiggling around, trying to move. The doctor turned to you, looking you over. “We need to get you on the submarine.” As he spoke, he was starting to sound further and further away. “Fine! Fine! You can have them! Just put me back together!” The man was growing frantic as Law didn’t seem to have any intention of putting him back together. “You know they’re faulty goods, right? You know what they are, right?” he kept on going, but his words fell on deaf ears, just like your words did earlier.

Law stopped in his tracks, glaring at the man. “I know more about them than you ever will,” he spat.

“Captain!” You heard Bepo call for Law as you descended into darkness.

When you came to, your body felt like it weighed a million pounds. Much like it did some months ago. Only this time, you added physical pain to it. This must’ve been close to what Luffy felt like.

You groaned, moving your hand to shield your eyes from the bright lights above. “Oh, are the lights too bright?” A soft voice rang out and the harsh lighting dimmed. You blinked several times, trying to adjust quickly. Where were you? You tried sitting up, only to wince and settle back down. Oh fuck, this was the worst you’ve been in a long time.

“D-Don’t move too much! You're still healing!” You flinched slightly at the sudden noise. You looked over, seeing the polar bear from earlier. What was his name? That’s right. “Oh, don't worry, Bepo. I've been through worse,” you croaked. It was true. You’d been through a lot worse. This was nothing. It was only this bad because of the state you let yourself get to prior to the incident.

“Still! Even if you've been through worse, that doesn't mean that you should ignore the healing process!” A pout formed on Bepo’s face, concern contorting his features. Had he been watching over you while you were out? You faintly remember being in his arms before you passed out. Did he carry you back? Not to mention how you ended up in his arms. You knew that Law had a devil fruit power, you had seen him use it a bit when he was working on Luffy, but you didn’t know much about it otherwise.

Your thoughts came back to reality and you nodded at Bepo, offering a slight smile. “You got it, doc.” You voice was hoarse and felt like you had swallowed gravel.

“Bepo, you're not suffocating our guest, are you?” Law’s voice came from behind the large bear as he moved into view. He looked absolutely exhausted, like he hadn’t been getting any sleep. You supposed he looked like that before, but even moreso right now. What was keeping him up?

“No, captain! I'm just trying to make sure they take it easy. Can't have them unsetting their ribs and opening their wounds.” Bepo frowned at his captain before looking at you. He seemed really worried.

It sounded like that bastard had done more damage to you than you originally thought. You felt like you were hit by a truck, did he really hit you with one? It honestly wouldn’t be surprising. You looked towards the doctor. “So, what’s the damage?”

Law pulled out a clipboard, beginning to read off of it. “Well, the big things are your broken ribs and the gash in your head. You also have some cuts and bruises, but those should all heal just fine.” He looked at you. “If you let yourself rest, that is.” His eyes narrowed as if challenging you to argue with him.

You held up your hands in surrender. “Alright, alright. I get it.” You huffed slightly, rolling your eyes. Was he always this insufferable? How did his crew deal with him at all times? Though, maybe he treated them better because they were his crew and you were just a stranger. A stranger that he just happen to run into for a second time and save your life. Just like he did Luffy.

“Bepo.” Law’s voice seemed a bit soft when he addressed the polar bear. There was care there. Bepo looked at him. “Yes, captain?”

“Would you grab some food for our patient? I would’ve grabbed some on my way back, but I wasn’t sure if they’d be awake just yet.”

“Aye, aye!” The polar bear stood up, saluting his captain and running off.

You watched as Bepo bounded off, kind of sad he left. You liked his presence - nice and soothing. It seemed he had the effect of a teddy bear. One resided in your necklace, but you hardly ever took it out. You didn’t want anything bad to happen to it.

“How long was I out?” you asked, mostly to fill the silence.

“Close to a week.” Law looked at you, a bit disapprovingly. “Your charts also show that you haven’t been taking care of yourself. That’s probably why you weren’t able to fight back as much and took the amount of damage you did. Not to mention your slow recovery rate.” He sighed, shaking his head.

You were quiet, not saying anything. He was right on the money. You hadn’t been taking care of yourself in the slightest. You couldn’t remember the last time you had a proper, good night sleep or a decent meal. You huffed. “In my defense,” you started, the doctor looking up from his clipboard and towards you. He raised a brow. “That’s why I was on that island. I was going to…recharge, I guess.” You huffed slightly.

With a groan, you covered your face with your hands. You couldn’t believe this happened to you. What were the fucking odds? Both with that bastard and Law coming in to save the day. It was already a miracle someone stepped in and saved you but someone you already knew? Someone that saved the life of someone you held dear? It was weird how coincidental it all was.

You removed your hands from your face, noticing Law just staring at you. “What?” He seemed to be taking you in, his eyes trailing down to your arms. “Those from him too?” He tilted his head.

You look down, realizing for the first time, that you were in a change of clothes. You were covered up as you usually were, but you were sure he probably saw everything in the process. He had to have in order to tend your wounds and check over you anyway. Your wrists and forearms were covered in scars from the cuffs and relentless hard work you were forced to do while you were a slave. There were even some on your torso and thighs. “Bepo was the only other person who saw them if that’s what you’re worried about.” You looked up, shaking your head. You were proud of your scars - not ashamed. They were a reminder of what you had been through. What you survived. It was a constant reminder of your mission as well.

“I’m not worried about that,” you finally spoke, “and it’s not from him, no…well…maybe some of them, but it was a time long ago.” You sighed, shaking your head.

You looked over at Law, who seemed to have a pained expression on his face. “Sorry we weren’t able to make it there any sooner,” he said. You blinked. Why was he apologizing? There was no way he could’ve known what was going on. It was a miracle that he showed up when he did in the first place.

“Don’t say sorry, it’s not your mistake.” You shrugged, sighing. A look of recognition crossed over his face and he looked like he wanted to say something.

At that moment, Bepo came back into the room with food. The smell enveloped you and saliva began building in your mouth. You hadn’t realized how hungry you were until that moment. The tray was placed in your lap. It seemed to be a hearty soup and smelled absolutely delectable. The chair next to your bed was once more occupied by the polar bear.

You looked at Law for a moment. “I should thank you guys.” You inclined your head. “If it wasn’t for you, I’m not exactly sure if I’d be alive.” Even if that bastard hadn’t beaten you to death, you’d rather die than end up enslaved again. The captain said nothing, just nodded and left the room, leaving you and Bepo alone.

It didn’t take long for the polar bear to start prattling on about things. He talked about the ship, the crew members, and different things. You welcomed it, not wanting to have to be alone with your thoughts.

Eventually, you were left alone. Bepo turned in for the night and you were stable enough that you didn’t need someone to watch over you anymore.

Your thoughts drifted off to recent events. That bastard had shown up. If he was there, who the hell else was around? How many of them were stalking the seas? You couldn’t help but feel worry flood your chest. If he had been around and recognized you, it was no doubt other people would possibly recognize you too. Though, what were the chances? Surely they weren’t high enough to stress about.

Your thoughts drifted to the Heart Pirates. If that bastard somehow ended up teaming back up with his colleagues, they’d be in trouble for sure. Especially since Law was well known for being a supernova. You didn’t want them to get wrapped up in all this - especially not after everything they had done to help you.

You moved out of bed, a bit wobbly at first, but fine otherwise. You decided it was best if you left now. You didn’t want to risk anyone catching you. They wouldn’t let you go. Mostly because of the state you were in, but you could take care of yourself. You have many times before.

You spotted your clothes folded neatly off to the side. After a quick change - well, moderate speed, your injuries held you back from being as speedy as you wanted to be - you looked for a pen and paper. It wasn’t long until you found one. It was an infirmary, after all.

You wrote a quick note for the crew. You thanked them for everything. You couldn’t help but feel heartbroken that you had to leave, but it was better this way. Safer for them.

The submarine was quiet and it occurred to you that if you were underwater you were fucked. There wouldn’t be escaping. Unless they had some kind of port that you could exit out of because then you could just use the ocean to get you where you needed to go, but you weren’t sure about all that. Maybe you should’ve paid closer attention to Bepo’s ramblings about the sub earlier.

After heading down the hallway, you listened carefully. Past all the machinery and noises of a submarine, you could hear the ocean waves pushing and splashing against the ship. You let out a sigh of relief, that was going to make this a lot easier. You headed to the upper deck, pausing as you heard a snore. That’s when you noticed Shachi, who was supposedly supposed to be on watch, snoozing away. You silently thanked him for doing so before heading to the railing, opposite of the sleeping guard.

You pressed on your necklace, pulling out the small box that contained your Navis and tossed it into the water. Once it was ready, you hopped in, and sailed into the night. The water was calm and the weather was cool. You took a deep breath, taking in the salty air.

A tightness grew in your chest as well as the feeling that someone was watching you.

#one piece #trafalgar d water law #trafalgar d law #trafalgar law #trafalgar law x reader #law x reader #one piece x you #one piece x reader #iciw #am fics

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banamine-bananime · 8 months ago

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preface: i was writing a list of my headcanons for funsies and got completely derailed with angsty grimmons shit that needs to be scooped out of that post because it’s stupid long. so here

grif worked in honolulu a couple years after hs graduation until kai was old enough (17) he felt he could leave. did a year at university before realizing he’s smart enough to be admitted to cornell but not to get the scholarship he realistically needs to not be in crushing debt on graduation, and also there’s not nearly enough regimentation to college life to prevent him from rotting in bed paralyzed by “oh my god i don’t have Responsibilities That Need To Be Done Right Now for the first time in forever and idk what to do now” and executive dysfunction. went through basic and stationed on the doomed outpost. That Whole Thing (a polite way of saying “sneaking off for a nap on duty, sleeping through a massacre, and waking up to find literally everyone else dead”) was the nail in the coffin that pretty much shot his last shred of motivation and hope to shit, and based on his behaviour and psych eval afterwards (best summarized as “learned helplessness that everything is shit always and he’s useless and never gonna be able to help anyone so 👍 fuck everything fuck everyone just try to eke some hedonistic joy out of life before you die”) he was reassigned to the sim soldiers.

meanwhile simmons tried to do university several times and had to drop out for mental health reasons (a very polite way of putting “rapid spiral into absolute disaster every time”. it leaves room for giving him the benefit of the doubt that this was a proactive “ah i should take care of myself and this is not working for me :) #selfcare #therapy” decision. this is not benefit of the doubt that anyone who knows him would extend.).

I go back and forth on whether to roll with the “that one throwaway line with a suspiciously specific hypothetical of being in a unit that was stranded and had to eat their dog to survive” thing or just say he was assigned straight to sim troopers. on the one hand, i really love grif and simmons having a parallel immensely traumatic first assignment that made them both Worse in kinda similar kinda opposite ways in line with the ways they were each already fucked up

(grif “life is inherently a garbage fire. i am useless. all i can do is look out for myself and save my own hide by absolute never trusting any authority, refusing to get attached to the other fuckers around here (they’d hate me anyways so just let them hate me), and obsessively hoarding any access to food and shelter and comfort because Maslow said I can’t work on health or belonging or esteem until i do :/ yeah i know, sorry, i’ve got a doctor’s note from him right here.” vs simmons “my life is a garbage fire probably because everyone around me is an idiot fucking something up but also because i’m not trying hard enough. i’m sure if i keep Performing The Maladaptive Behaviours even harder they will work and i THEN will feel respected and powerful and loved. you see you just have to keep repressing every feeling so you can suck up to anyone you detect a whiff of Authority Figure on no matter how little you actually respect them, and follow EVERY RULE and work and work and work. and you had better abandon any compunctions about things like eating a dog you loved or backstabbing a friend for brownie points from the CO who hates him or Literally Murdering your CO for a promotion. and if you ever stop desperately trying, fighting dirty looking out just for yourself, and instead just sit still for a moment and enjoy sincere zero-ulterior-motives connections with people, you will probably definitely immediately die of starvation or exposure (it is a metaphor you see. of exposure to the elements while stranded without resources. for the agonizing exposure of allowing yourself to be known.)”)

on the other hand i’m like whoa now. this boy’s got enough problems we really don’t need to be giving him any more or we’re really never gonna pry him free of the woobiefication fics.

#rvb #red vs blue #dexter grif #dick simmons #alexa send post #grif #simmons

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rinwritesfics · 1 year ago

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How (Not) to Heal - Chapter 6

Plot: After being rescued from Mount Tantiss, Crosshair has to figure out how to work with the Batch again - and their new medic. It would be fine if he didn’t start to fall in love with her.

Warnings: Injury (not gore)

Word Count: 802

Author’s Note: This chapter was originally part of a longer one, but I had to break it into multiple parts, thanks Tumblr.

Previously - Start Here!

Chapter 6

The freed clones and Ka’li all followed Crosshair down the cleared hallway, anticipating the next wave any second. As he stayed on one side of the hallway split, the other clones followed Ka’li down the other. He caught up with them at each next point they paused at until each coast was clear and told them to move again.

They all finally got to the hall where it was almost completely free of obstacles and the two of them ushered the men out to the stolen and awaiting LAAT/i, assuring them they would catch up. As soon as the men were clear, the two started to make their way down the hall themselves. They skidded to a stop at a security droid with a shield reminiscent of a droideka and dove for cover in a hallway branching off of it.

Crosshair knew this shielding wasn’t quite as efficient as those the droidekas had, as it was modified technology for a new droid, but there was a challenging window to make a shot through. He aimed for a critical and unprotected wire on the column that served as its neck. He just had to wait for the shield to shimmer in a weak point. He brought down targeting magnification on his bucket and peered through his scope around the corner as it ambled closer. As soon as the shield showed a weak point, he fired.

The droid sparked and blew up in a white-hot explosion.

Crosshair stumbled back, the flash blinding him for a moment and causing a sharp pain through his skull. He roared, ripped off his bucket, and covered his eyes.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. You’re okay.” It was Ka’li. She was the only one who had that softness in her touch and that specific lilt in her voice.

He didn’t hold back. “It hurts!”

“I know, but we have to go. Wrecker’s set the bombs. Let me guide you.”

He couldn’t see her except in his mind’s eye. He had to wait until the pain subsided to look at her, so he nodded. She took his hand and pulled him along with her. He shoved his bucket back on.

It took another moment for the pain to subside some, enough for him to open his eyes. The view was blurry and slightly painful as light hit his pupils, so he let her continue to guide him for another few precious seconds. He blinked away his tears blurring his vision and was able to see well enough to take the lead. He wanted to celebrate by catching a glimpse of her, but he couldn’t, despite her being the most beautiful thing he could ever see.

Not only would the glimpse run the risk of distraction him, but he worried what expression she could have. Probably something gentle in her eyes. Maybe even pity. The thought made his stomach churn. He wouldn’t meet her eyes. He didn’t need or want the pity.

He was grateful each time he found out he didn’t lose his main asset to his squad, but he didn’t want to see anyone feeling bad for him. It made him sick. Reminded him that he had been made for this purpose. Reminded him that every experiment on him had run the risk of losing his eyes and scrapping him if it didn’t work. Reminded him that he didn’t know who he was without his eyesight. He didn’t know his thoughts were spiraling until her hand squeezed his a couple times. How did she know?

They made it outside and he continued to pull her along from the building’s entrance. The Marauder began to fly in and lowered a rope ladder.

“Go! Get to the ship!” he barked. His head throbbed a little, but he pushed it away. He was going to protect his squad – his family. Just like he always has. Just like he always will.

“I’m staying with you!” she yelled.

“Go!” he roared, shoving her across the landing pad to the Marauder’s ladder.

She had only made it a few steps away when another security droid made it to him with surprising speed as he was distracted. It trapped his arms in its hands and held him in position.

Crosshair growled, his shoulder wrenching in the wrong direction.

This clanker wouldn’t get the best of him. He twisted, yanking himself out of its grasp, but pulled his left arm wrong.

He would have to reset the joint when he had the chance, but that opportunity wasn’t this moment. He shot the security droid through the chest one-handed, thankful it didn’t have that modified shield that could make it explode.

He started to make for the rope ladder, hoping he could use that to shove his shoulder back into its socket.

What was taking Wrecker’s explosions so long?

Chapter 7

Tags: @crosshairsbabygurl, @starrylothcat, @thecoffeelorian, @idoubleswearimawriter, @heylosers06, @totesnothere04, @dangraccoon, @the-hexfiles, @jediknightjana

#tbb crosshair #tbb crosshair x reader #the bad batch crosshair

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timemachinechaos · 9 months ago

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Not sure if anyone knows me from there or cares really, but I wanted to post a chapter from my fic Percy Jackson and the Unusual Quest (on ao3).

I haven't posted it there yet but I wanted to share this chapter in particular with more people. It's from a Percy Jackson/Harry Potter crossover fic and I know not everyone likes those but this chapter doesn't have almost any magic or HP stuff in it. It's really just Percy&Annabeth fluff.

It's kinda long-ish and the writing probably isn't the best (same goes for the rest of the fic too. I'd like to think my writing improved throughout it but thats probably just me). I think you don't need the rest of it for context but if it's too unclear for people that aren't me I'll gladly explain (just ask).

Anyways, here's the chapter (I'd love to know what people think if anyone reads it) :

Annabeth

I followed Percy as he led me through the castle by the hand.

We stopped at the kitchens briefly and he told me to wait for him in the hallway; he came out a few minutes later with a basket and retook my hand.

We were quiet as we walked, simply enjoying each other's proximity.

And whilst I knew exactly where in the castle we were and all the paths we could take, Percy was still in the castle for more time than me.

He led me up a staircase, down another, behind a curtain and over the secret passageway to a completely different part of the castle, where he opened a painting as if it was a doorway and then up the spiral stairway.

The stairs led to a small opening in the castle wall, high above and big enough for us to step through and onto the roof.

From there we walked across the narrow path over the top of the roof and around the tower until he stopped at a small, about bed-sized portion of the roof; it was a ledge, surrounded by a kneehigh railing. Architecturally it didn’t make sense - a balcony with that difficult of an access, but then again, a lot of things in this castle didn’t make sense.

He pointed his wand and air shimmered around the balcony - a spell so we’d be invisible to anyone who might be flying through the air (like some of our scouts), then pointed his wand to the floor and a blanket and a couple of pillows laid themselves down over the space.

Percy set the basket down and sat on one of the pillows.

“Join me?” he asked, patting the pillow next to him.

I smiled and sat down.

“Percy, what is this place? Why are we here?”

“It’s one of my favorite places in the castle. I come here to think or when I just need some peace and quiet. And besides, sunsets are beautiful from here.”

I hugged him over the waist, he put his arm over my shoulders and we sat there, in silence, enjoying the sunset.

I didn’t need to ask him how he found this place, I knew he had lots of energy to burn and probably explored every inch of the castle in his first month, that and the fact that magical creatures adored him and they knew the castle better than anyone else - it didn’t take a child of Athena to figure out Percy would know of these kinds of places.

It was very private as well even without Percy’s spell, shielded from behind by a tower and all around with rooftops. You couldn’t spot us if you didn’t know what you were looking for, but it still gave a spectacular view at the lake and surrounding landscape, even sitting down.

The sun was really low now and Percy summoned some candles so we could still see each other.

He released my shoulders and turned to face me, I did the same.

Percy took my hands in his.

“Annabeth-” he said.

He released my left hand now and cupped my bandaged right one with both of his.

“Percy?

“What happened?”

He started untying my bandages. It didn’t make sense, it was just a small cut, nothing to be worried about. I didn’t even go to the infirmary, I bandaged it up myself.

“Got cut on one of the lines of the net.” I told him.

He took the bandage off completely now, a single red line all across my palm clearly visible.

“Percy, it’s nothing. Why are you-”

He cut me off by turning over his own right palm, a single red line, mirroring my own running across it. I didn’t understand what his scar had to do with his behavior, it was an incredible coincidence he had a scar in the exact same place as I did but still.

“What? I don’t understand. We get hurt all the time. It’s nothing-”

“This is from this morning.”

“Yes, but Percy, still-”

“After I got the curse.”

“How? What are you saying?” I thought back to when I got the scar, it was at that morning, when he was fighting the gods.

Was it really possible that-?

“I didn’t know where my vulnerable spot was. I got hit in the small of my back, where it was the first time and nothing happened. Then, when I fought the gods I started bleeding from my palm out of the blue. And from what I know this shouldn’t be possible, one small cut and I’m supposed to be dead, you remember Luke? The small cut was all that was needed. I didn’t understand at first but now-” “Percy, what are you saying?” “I figured it out at the meeting earlier - when I took your hand. Annabeth, I’m saying that it’s you. You’re my vulnerable spot. What happens to you, happens to me. You die, I die. You’re my anchor to humanity.”

Tears started gathering in my eyes and I buried my face into his shoulder.

It was a huge burden, being responsible for someone's life. It wasn’t as it was in battle, where you know someone depends on you to fight with them, to cover them and they do the same for you. No, with this is one wrong move, one mistake and two lives are lost.

Suddenly I felt a lot happier for the lion pelt over my shoulders - if it came from anyone else I might think they were trying to cover for themselves, giving me their spoils of war to make sure they don’t die. But not with Percy, he gave me the pelt from the goodness of his heart, before he even knew he was tied to me.

We stayed embraced like that for a while, until I finally broke away.

“We should test this. Just to be sure.” I said and pulled out one of my bronze knives.

“You don’t have to. Really I’m-”

I cut him off by running my index finger over the point of the knife, just enough to break the skin and for a drop of blood to come out.

He held up his hand and a matching bead of red on his finger.

“Well, that settles it. You know Wise-girl, there is no one out there I’d rather have my fate tied to. Even though I don’t know why or if it’s because it was my second time or because Sty-”

Once again I cut him off, this time by kissing him.

“Let’s not talk about this now. It’s a beautiful night and we have a moment of peace, let’s just- let’s just enjoy it.”

“Wow, how un-Athenian of you. Postponing a search for knowledge.”

I laughed, a full, honest, bottom of my lungs laugh and he joined me.

At that moment I really didn’t need to know anything, not how or why the weapons merged earlier, not how he could use powers obviously falling under other gods' domains than his fathers, not how we were tied together; all I could think about was how I wanted to just spend a night with him.

And we did, we spent the night on that ledge, stargazing, laughing, we ate the dinner he grabbed from the kitchen earlier, kissing and in the end we made love for the first time - it was natural, it wasn’t forced in any way and it was perfect.

It was a night in a hopeless war, it was a night in between battles and it was the best night of my life.

Which is how I should have known the day that would follow would be the worst day in my life - because why would the Fates change now.

I woke up in Percy’s embrace that morning, his arm over me and the blanket that covered us. I snuggled closer to him in search of warmth that his body radiated like a furnace in the cold morning, luckily our bodies fit together like pieces of a puzzle. I felt his steady breath on my neck and his caressing of my head the only indicator he was awake as well.

I enjoyed the moment for a while before turning around so we were looking at each other. I met his ever changing sea green eyes and said “Hey”.

“Hi”

“I love you Percy, you know that.”

“And I love you too Annabeth, and I alway will, no matter what happens.”

We continued staring at each other as the dawn broke.

It was a perfect moment, sunlight starting to shine, mist swirling and crawling across the lake surface, birds chirping.

Too bad it was just that, a moment.

Because all of a sudden silence fell, no more bird chirps, no more branches rustling in the wind, everything seemed to dull.

Percy seemed to have noticed as well because his face locked up in alertness. He sat up before sliding from under the blanket completely whilst pulling his pants up.

He threw my own clothes to the spot he laid not a moment before and turned to stare at the horizon.

I had just pulled my shirt over myself, already shaking slightly from the cold, suddenly missing Percy’s body warmth - he was still shirtless, his muscular figure standing tall and strong in the cold air.

I snapped myself out of the fantasy and started getting up to join him when his entire body stiffened.

“Annabeth?” I could hear the panic in his voice.

I jumped out of our makeshift bed and was by his side in a moment.

“Percy? What is it? What do yo-”

He pointed a finger to the horizon, I needed a few moments to see the thing he was pointing at.

My heart almost popped out of my chest.

It wasn’t visible from anywhere else in the castle and even I had to strain my eyes to see it, Percy apparently could see it clearly because he was in worse panic than me.

A tall, huge shadowy figure almost made out of dark storm clouds was becoming more and more clear from behind a mountain in the distance.

“Tha- That’s- That’s Typhon.” I mumbled out.

Percy nodded.

“We’re- We’re doomed. We can’t hope to stand any chance against that.”

He looked at me, his eyes becoming more determined by the second, like he’s made his mind up about something and was becoming more sure of it by the moment.

He stared at me before saying : “Maybe we don’t. But, we’ve got someone in our basement who might.”

“The gods! But they aren’t free yet and Leo didn’t even start working on removing the collars. It’s going to reach us long before we can free them,” the giant was already stepping over the mountain peak and would probably reach us in less than half an hour.

It wasn’t long now before the horns would start, alerting everyone in the castle of our upcoming doom.

Percy looked at me again, an incredibly sad look on his face.

“I know. Our only hope is if I-”

“No! No, no, no, no, no, no- nononononnonon!” tears started gathering in my eyes as I realized what he was suggesting, the reason for his former determination suddenly very clear.

He hugged me but didn’t say anything.

“No, Percy, no. You can’t- We’ve got catapults and scorpions and cannons. We’ll hold on somehow. You can’t- He is an entirely different story from even the gods- You can’t-” I sobbed into his bare shoulder as he waited for me to finish my rant.

“Annabeth, Wise-girl, you know that when that thing gets into the range of any weapon it’ll be already too late. And you know the gods are our only chance against it. Zeus’s Master bolt caused him to stumble the last time, and I haven’t only gotten the Master bolt, I’ve got my Father’s trident and Hades’ staff plus all of the other godly weapons. I hope it’ll be enough to distract Typhon for long enough that Leo will be able to get you the help we need,” he said softly.

I looked at him, tears in my eyes again. I caught the you in that last sentence and I knew he knew that too.

“What about : we’re staying together, you’re not getting away from me. Never again? You promised Percy,” I whispered.

“Annabeth, if you ask me to stay I’ll stay. I won’t fight until he’s absolutely upon us. But if I go, if I, if I give myself up, if I distract him long enough, if I give you a fighting chance to survive this, I’ll be at peace. I couldn't live with myself if anything happened to you. To anyone in this castle. Please, please let me do this. Let me keep you safe,” he had tears gathering in his eyes now too.

I was sobbing now, crying hysterically but I understood where he was coming from. In that part of my brain that always found logic in any situation, the part I hated. The part that knew he was right, that this was our best shot. The part that knew his fatal flaw would eat him alive if he didn’t do this and someone died.

“Percy, please. Please. Please. Don’t leave me. Not you too,”

Tears were running down his face now too.

“I’m not leaving you. I’ll always be here-” he pointed at my heart, “ and I’ll wait for you. We’ll be together in a few decades anyways. Just promise me you’ll spend that time we’ll be apart living. Don’t close yourself off, live your life. Don’t become a shell of yourself. I’ll be waiting to hear stories of how you lived.”

I didn’t trust myself to speak, so I nodded.

He smiled, a small barely visible smile that contrasted the tears in his eyes.

A smile that gave me hope for the future, a smile that reminded me of why and just how much I loved him.

A smile that sent another wave of tears from my eyes.

I hugged him tighter, burrowing my face deeper into his shoulder.

“Annabeth, I should get going soon,” he whispered softly and I released him.

I could see Typhon clearly now in all of his impossible size, how could anyone ever hope to stand a chance against that. But if anyone could Percy could - there was still a glimmer of hope in my heart that maybe, just maybe Percy could survive this.

“Percy-” my voice broke, “Percy. I won’t tell you to stay, I won’t keep you from doing this. I just want to say, thank you. Thank you for doing this, I’ll tell you because no one else will. Thank you for giving us a chance.”

I wanted to be angry at him for leaving me but I just couldn’t find it in me. I understood, I hated it but I understood.

We broke apart finally now and Percy whistled like he was pulling over a cab - he called for Blackjack.

He put on his shirt and turned to face me.

“Here, please, take this-” he dug around his pockets and pulled out his magical pouch, he pulled out two drachmas and gave the pouch to me, then he pulled out a stack of papers, folded over each other and stuck them into one of my pockets, then he untied his camp necklace and tied it around me, “ no point in them being lost forever. Also, please make sure my shroud is half decent. And Annabeth, please tell -” his voice cracked, “ please tell my mom it was fast, that it was painless.”

I felt tears starting to fall again and once again he hugged me.

“I’m so sorry Annabeth, I really am. Please believe me. If I knew of any other ways I would take them.”

“I know Percy, I know and I believe you. It just sucks.”

“Yeah, yeah it does.”

He kissed me and we stayed embraced when flapping of wings broke us back into the real world.

Blackjack landed by us on the edge.

“Not for this one Blackjack. Too dangerous, don’t want you getting hurt.” Percy said, to which the pegasus puffed from his nose.

“I’ll take a broom. Yes, I know they’ve got nothing against you, but I need you to take care of Annabeth, take her down. Keep her safe.”

Blackjack reared and neighed and I knew he took Percy’s words to heart.

Horns started sounding as people finally took notice of the approaching giant.

Percy held out his wand and said : “Accio broom”

A few seconds later a horde of brooms flew from all directions and started landing at Percy's feet - one even had a house elf clinging to it, who after being reassured he did nothing wrong apparited away.

Percy picked up the one that was obviously meant for flying and turned to me.

“What do you think?”

“Percy, what about Zeus, you’ll be in his domain, won’t he, you know-”

“He’s literally asleep in our basement because of me, I don’t think me trespassing into his domain would be the reason for him to smite me now.”

He smiled again and stepped closer to me.

We kissed for one final time before I mounted Blackjack and he the broom.

He kicked off the floor and went racing towards the giant, I wiped my eyes into the shoulder of my shirt and me and Blackjack flew off and into the opposite direction to where I knew the war council was gathering to plan the next move.

Blackjack landed in front of the people gathering by the gates into the castle and I jumped off.

They were standing, frozen in fear as they watched the approaching giant but Piper saw me as soon as we landed.

“Annabeth, what happened? Where’s Percy-” she looked me up and down and no doubt saw my puffy eyes, my bed hair, clothes from the day before and the look in my eyes that must have betrayed just how broken I was, I tried to pull myself together as best as I could and to someone who didn’t know me all that well I wouldn't look any different from any other day; but this was Piper, she immediately knew something was wrong. She looked at me, then at Blackjack, then at Typhon and the lone dot flying towards it.

“He didn’t?” she asked and all it took was one nod from me and she enveloped me in a hug.

“What happened?” I could hear Jason ask.

“Percy went to fight Typhon alone.” Thalia answered.

Jason started flying but was immediately pushed back to the ground by the winds that were obviously not of his making; I knew, as did he - Percy didn’t want any help, he knew this was a suicide mission and he didn’t want to risk anyone else’s life beyond his.

I willed my voice to be strong : “He went to buy us time. For us to free the gods so that we might stand a chance,” from the look on Piper's face I knew my voice wasn’t as strong as I wanted it to be.

Leo was already running back at the castle : “Getting right on it,” he yelled.

The others seemed to have still been in shock because no one said anything, they were just looking at me with sad eyes, almost pitiful.

The horn sounded again and Clarisse yelled : “It seems he won’t be the only one fighting today.”

And the first line of monsters broke the treeline.

Before anyone could react however an ear piercing scream cut through the air, a horrible battle cry that left no doubt who it came from.

It was Percy's, even from tens of miles away his voice reached us.

But what followed was even worse, a loud crack, followed by a shock wave that caused me to stumble and I was standing in the cover of the castle, next the sky exploded in millions of colors and earthquake shook the ground.

The monsters froze in fear as they watched, as did we as Typhon roared and stumbled backwards, just a couple of steps - but because of his size those steps meant a couple more miles between him and us.

Roars erupted from our own army as they charged still surprised monsters.

I was about ready to join them when Piper started pulling me back into the castle.

“At least put your armor on!” she said.

#percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #annabeth chase #ao3 #fanfic #chapter from my fic #percy/annabeth #annabeth chase / percy jackson #pjo #pjo fandom

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annieshouldbewriting · 1 year ago

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Really Good, Actually by Monica Heisey #BreakupBookReviews

I know countless other women have been in my shoes before. There's nothing earth-shattering about a girl navigating her first heartbreak and looking to literature for help figuring out WTF comes next, or to feel less alone.

My partner of five years leaving me was not on my 2023 bingo card, especially considering just a week before, she was promising me that we were going to be together forever (but I'm 99% sure there is somebody else). Ouch. I truly thought she was the one for me.

How does someone who loved you for so long walk away so easily? How do you accept that someone you trusted so completely lied to you and broke that trust? How do you cope when you're the one left behind to pick up the shattered pieces of your heart, while they get to be happy and move on like nothing happened?

All questions I'm sure every girl has asked herself after being dumped.

In an effort to answer these questions for myself, and to return to something I love and that is wholly mine, untainted by my relationship, I turned back to my true first love: books.

Narratively, Really Good, Actually isn't for everyone. Many Goodreads users dislike our protagonist, Maggie, but I reveled in the messiness Heisey portrayed. Let's be real; not every woman walks out of her breakup with her head held high and is able to drink her matcha lattes while writing in her manifestation journal and hitting the gym to "find herself" again.

Maggie's kind of a mess. She sleeps with her ex's best friend, is trying to figure out her sexuality through a series of disastrous dates and a disappointing almost-threesome, refuses to go to therapy, and arguably is a bad friend. And while it's frustrating to read, it was also liberating for me. It made me feel less alone. I might not be in full-on self-sabotage mode like Maggie, but I was able to relate to some of her faults.

Her anxiety. Her need to feel loved. Her not being strong and begging to be given another change.

Yet, we do see Maggie grow. After her ex refuses to show up to a couple's counseling appointment Maggie schedules to aid in the process of divorce, she strikes a relationship with the therapist and becomes a regular patient. After being a bad friend, she works on changing her actions and behaviors and makes apologies to those she's hurt. When she sees her ex with Janet - their beloved cat - on the bus, she gets off at the next stop and waits for a new bus.

She's not perfect. She doesn't deal with the breakup in the healthiest of ways. But she's human.

That's what I loved about Heisey's novel. Maggie felt real. I felt validated in some of the spiraling thoughts I'm having. It felt like having a - albeit, much messier - friend going through this breakup with me. And it gave me hope that one day, I'll heal too.

If you're going through a breakup, pick up Really Good, Actually for a read. The way I see it, you'll either relate to Maggie and feel seen, be so relieved you don't relate to Maggie that you can congratulate yourself on handling your breakup better, or be so pissed off at her that you'll forget about your own worries for a while. Any way, a win's a win, right?

#book review #booklr #heartbreak #book reviews #BreakupBookReview

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i-just-wanna-be-fuckin-happy · 1 year ago

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Food Rules for Eating Actual Food That Nourishes Me and Makes Me Feel Good, Not Gross

The following is a set of rules I developed after reading the excellent book Food Rules: An Eater’s Manual by Michael Pollan (which I highly, highly recommend), flipping through a million cookbooks, heavily googling, watching other families eat in a (mostly) noncreepy way, and just paying attention to my own eating experiences. Note: This has NOTHING to do with losing weight or being “skinny.” I’m really tired of people talking about being skinny like it’s some achievement. You didn’t climb Machu Picchu, you didn’t complete your master’s degree, you just subsisted off of celery and hummus for a week while being the most stressed-out version of yourself the rest of us had to suffer through.

No diets. COME ON! You know this! There is no miracle cure for weight loss. No special pill or juice or cleanse that is going to give you the body you want. I’m so sorry! I wish there was! I would do it. Don’t drive yourself crazy with something that’s never going to work. Also: Food is a good thing. We are lucky to have food. Please, let’s not stress about every bite.

Eat food. Not low-fat, low-sugar, “lite,” protein powder, it-came-in-apackage-that-said-“natural”-so-that-means-something-right? Food made in a lab is not food at all. It’s science. You are not a lab rat. No need to run an experiment on your stomach. I have an exception to this: I keep a (simple) protein bar in my kitchen and at my office for emergency situations. Nothing is worth a hangry version of me.

Eat food that makes you feel good, not sick. Again, simple, but it took me YEARS to learn this one. I stopped eating almost all fried foods simply because I always felt sick after eating them. There is no discipline to this other than realizing that I always, always had an upset stomach after eating fried chicken and deciding I didn’t want to feel that way anymore. Listen to what your body hates. Let your body’s hate be your guide. Namaste.

If you are having trouble figuring out what your body likes, keep a (low-key) food journal. It took me a while to figure out what foods felt good and what put me into a food coma, so I kept a little journal in my purse of what I ate and how it made me feel. Salad with tofu for lunch: HANGRY THE ENTIRE FUCKING DAY. Salmon and lentils for dinner: pleasantly full and energized. Special doughnut for a colleague’s birthday at four P.M.: crazed with sugar, like a baby who just had her first bite of cake and wants MORE NOW, unable to pay attention in a meeting when I really needed to pay attention. Write down for just one week what you eat and how you feel; you’ll be floored by what you learn.

Don’t make food choices when hungry. Have you ever noticed that if you go grocery shopping on an empty stomach, you’ll leave with a basket of ice cream, carrots, and a block of cheese? How are you supposed to make dinner with that? Seriously, can you tell me? Because I’ve been there so many times and have never been able to find the answer. I am incapable of making any choices about food when I am already ravenous. I also tend to get into arguments around this time. “No, what restaurant do you want to go to??? If you have a preference, just say it!” Try to make your food choices when not on the verge of eating another person.

Make your freezer a precious miracle solution from the heavens. Keeping a freezer full of healthful meals, or meal components, is one of the best ways you can make sure you are nourishing yourself. When I roast chicken, I always make a little extra so I can dice some and put it in the freezer. Same with soups. If I make a chickpea stew, I make a couple of extra servings, pour them into ziplock bags I decorate with Sharpiedrawn hearts, and freeze them. My freezer is stocked with fruits, spiralized zucchini, muffin-tin frittatas, turkey meatballs, and other real food. This way, I’m not tempted to buy a box of microwaveable mac and cheese and call that dinner. Tho, occasionally, there is nothing better than a box of Annie’s mac and cheese.

It’s okay to go on a cleanse, but it’s not okay for that to become your personality. I’ve done a bunch of the juice cleanses. I’ve had the charcoal water that costs twelve dollars and “detoxifies” your blood. I’ve done the whole fasting thing. These drastic changes to your eating habits can be good for shaking things up every so often, sort of like the food equivalent to cleaning out your closet, but they are not a long-term solution. DO NOT BECOME SOPHIE. Sophie is the girl standing in front of us in line at the wedding buffet talking endlessly about her juice cleanse and how it “totally and utterly” changed her life and how she “never really liked full meals anyway.” You “never really liked” meals, Sophie? YOU’VE NEVER FELT THE ECSTASY OF STRAIGHT-UP DESTROYING A FULL PIZZA, SOPHIE?! YOU HAVEN’T LIVED, SOPHIE! Never be the one who is endlessly talking about some cleanse, some cure-all, your new diet, the new BEST food trend, etc. You have more interesting things to talk about than what you eat.

Keep a yummy, healthful treat around. At the end of the night, if I want something sweet, I have a few dried mango slices. They are delicious but not something I want to demolish in one sitting. What about a whole-grain toaster-oven waffle with a little honey? Three dates with a cup of mint tea is an elegant and tasty treat. The point is, always have something you ENJOY around you. You’re less likely to binge on things you don’t like when you have something that does satisfy you around. I’m looking at you, can of Pringles I don’t even like but I can take down in three minutes flat. How did you even get in my house?

#food rules #diet #health #healthy #healthy food #healing #self love #selfcare #food

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drewexe · 2 years ago

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Like The Stars Pt. 2

pt.1 pt.2 pt.3 pt.4

Pairing: jaemin x fem!reader

Genre: smut, fluff, sex lessons au, friends to lovers

Word Count: ~8,8k

Includes: high school seniors (everyone is legal of age); canon bisexual mc; side characters donghyuck, renjun, and karina; profanities; obviously, sex lessons; kind of a slow burn?; mc being oblivious and kind of innocent but hopefully not in an annoying way; a blowjob + fingering (going slow and steady, yes)

Summary: you'd had a crush on renjun for as long as you could remember, but your lack of experience always stopped you from taking the first step; it's a good thing you have your trusted friend jaemin to help you out

Author's note: okay so here is the part 2 of this little story ! once again, thank you all so much for all the love you've given to pt1, i appreciate all of you so much ! i hope you'll enjoy this part just as much ^^ disclaimer, time moves weirdly in this, please close your eyes and pretend it makes sense ehe-

Despite your genuine intention, it took more than a couple of weeks before your lessons went further. It’d been in fact almost two months now. Not that you didn't have… sessions, during that period. No, it was just that every time you tried to go on, you got anxious again and instead, just repeated what you already had tried. At least you could say you were getting better at handjobs by now, as Jaemin had given you more tips and advice, as well as simply letting you get more practice.

Yet you were getting frustrated with yourself - why were you so scared by the idea of a blowjob? It was dumb. Especially since the whole point was that you could have a safe environment and someone you trust who would guide you and not mock you if you messed up. So you figured that it was about damn time.

Jaemin had invited you over to his place as he needed help with English and you had happily agreed - as someone who traveled a lot, it was safe to say that you were more than able to help. Currently, the two of you were sitting on the floor in his room, notebooks spread between you two as you did your best to explain to him the different forms of past tense and their proper uses.

You were in the middle of explaining how past perfect tense worked when he suddenly let out a loud huff and plopped down to lay on his back.

“This is so annoying!” he whined, kicking up one of his legs slightly. “I don't wanna study anymore, who cares if I fail the class!”

You raised your eyebrows at him and reached over, slapping his knee.

“Stop acting like a spoiled child, Nana” you scolded, yet a small smile curved your lips in endearment.

“Y/N, I am a spoiled child,” he said, raising his head to look at you. Upon noticing your smile, he grinned back immediately and stood up. “Come on, don't tell me you actually wanna just keep your nose buried in these notebooks the whole afternoon,” he raised his eyebrows. Your only response was shaking your head slightly in disappointment.

He huffed again and pouted, picking up his pen again as you once again started explaining. Unfortunately, it wasn't even 5 minutes later when he interrupted you again: “Okay, I can't focus for real, I'm sorry.”

“Alright, enough for today,” you hummed. Truth be told, you too weren't in the mood to go on, especially if it wouldn't help at all. The two of you quickly discarded the now unneeded books and you looked at him. “So what should we do then?”

Jaemin shrugged, leaning his back on the bed behind him.

“Anything you wanna do specifically?” he turned the question to you, a soft smile on his lips.

Your mind spiraled away through what options you had, until the lesson you had just finished reminded you of the lessons you had yet to go through. Biting your lips, you looked at him.

“I think I'm ready to go further,” you said quietly, hoping he would understand. When he looked at you with confusion, you clarified: “With my own lessons. If you're okay with that, of course.”

He looked at you for a long moment and you were almost getting anxious when he chuckled.

“I never would have expected that you'd be so excited to learn about sex, princess.” His tone held no objection or mockery though, simply amusement, so you rolled your eyes in response.

“I don't remember you disagreeing even once,” you pointed out and he scoffed slightly, leaning closer to you.

“Would you talk back like that if I was Renjun?” he asked quietly and for a second, you felt like there was something more behind those words. Yet his usual grin was back again in a blink as he got up off his spot and made his way to sit on the bed again.

Seeing him get comfortable, you lifted yourself slightly and crawled over to him, plopping down on your knees. When you looked up at him, you found him staring at you, eyebrows raised in surprise.

“Way to set the mood,” he chuckled a bit awkwardly, reaching over to cup your chin gently. “Don't push yourself too hard, okay?”

You nodded slightly in confirmation, gently pressing your palm over his crotch. You started rubbing slow circles over his length and he let go of your face in favor of resting his arms on his sides for balance. It didn't take long before you felt him get hard under your touch so you pulled your hand away and reached up to undo his pants, pulling them down along with his underwear. By now you had grown used to seeing his dick, yet now that you were planning on putting it in your mouth, the anxiousness from the first time was back. To distract yourself, you looked up at him again.

“Say, would you mind taking your t-shirt off for me this time?” you asked, fluttering your eyelashes at him fakely.

“You're gonna be the death of me,” he laughed, yet obliged quickly, the fabric thrown somewhere to the side and quickly forgotten about.

You took a moment just to admire his upper body. He wasn't really buff, yet his muscles were well defined. You couldn't help but reach up and gently trace the outline of his abs, feeling the muscles tense slightly under your touch.

“Sorry, I-” you pulled your hand away quickly.

“No, it's okay,” he reassured you quickly with a short exhale. “That's nice”. You smiled at him in appreciation and your hand was back at its spot, gently touching his stomach.

Slowly, you dragged it down his skin until it reached his half-hard length and you wrapped your hand around him as your other one came to rest on his thigh. You started stroking him slowly, your main goal right now was to work him up enough. You had come to learn that teasing slow touches and occasionally tightening your grip around him worked great for this so it didn't take you long to have him fully hard.

“Remember, take it slow, okay?” he made sure to say, though his voice was already a bit strained. “Don't go all in at once and you don't have to right away take it in your mouth. You can just use your tongue at first.”

You hummed and leaned down, dragging your tongue up the underside of his length, drawing a curse out of him. You couldn't help but smile as you repeated the action and he squirmed slightly. You pressed an open-mouthed kiss to the side, squeezing your hand around him gently, then moved your lips up to the tip. That was it, you were finally doing it. Inhaling through your nose, you wrapped your lips around the head and your tongue licked at the slit.

You looked up to see how he would react and found him staring at you intensely, body tensed up as if he was trying to hold back from reacting. When his eyes met yours, he cursed quietly under his breath and one of his hands moved to curl into your hair. His touch was surprisingly gentle as he rubbed your scalp reassuringly.

“You're doing great so far, princess,” he praised quietly.

Suppressing your smile, you twirled your tongue around his tip and at the same time started stroking him with your hand again. Okay, truth be told, you had done a little bit of research on your own - not that you didn't trust that Jaemin would be a good enough teacher, you just wanted to make him proud and you couldn't do that without any real idea of how blowjobs worked. Judging by the way his hips twitched, it was worth it. You did want to make him feel as good as possible though, so finally mustering up the courage, you opened your lips wider and started moving down, trying to take as much as you could of him.

Obviously, though, you had overestimated yourself as not even halfway down, you started feeling uncomfortable and you had to slow down. You felt a tug at your hair, which you took as a sign to go on so you forced yourself to go further, yet a new one, a bit harder came.

“Stop- fuck, Y/N, stop,” Jaemin groaned out and you immediately pulled away, scared you'd fucked up everything.

“What did I do wrong?” you asked immediately after you took a proper breath, looking up at him with a sense of panic filling you up.

“You didn't-” he started, pausing as if to rearrange his thoughts or to find the proper words. “You haven't done anything wrong, princess,” Jaemin said finally, looking at you with gentle eyes. “Trust me, you are doing really well.”

“Then why did you want me to stop?” your voice was quiet and you bit your lips.

“You're focusing too much on what you think you should do next,” he responded, gently stroking your hair, which soothed the slight sting from the pull earlier. “Relax, okay? If these things are done the way they should be, both you and your partner should be enjoying it. You have the upper hand, you're the one in control right now, don't rush through it just to cover everything.” You blinked up at him, confused at what he meant exactly. “You tried to go all the way down, didn't you?” he asked and you nodded slightly. “Don't. I mean, do it if you want to, obviously, but do it when you feel ready, not just because you think that's what's supposed to happen next. You're doing so well, just go with what feels comfortable for you.”

“Okay,” you hummed quietly and the smile that curved his lips was so endearing that you felt fluttering in your chest. You leaned down again, yet he spoke up again, pulling your attention.

“Go slow and have fun. And if you're not having fun, stop, okay?” He was staring at you intensely so you nodded in confirmation, a silent reassurance that you wanted to do this.

Back on track, you took the tip back between your lips, sucking gently as your hand was once again moving along his shaft at a moderate pace. Then you thought about his words - have fun. You slowed down your hand, having just the tips of your fingers press against his skin. You started pressing open-mouthed kisses against his length, occasionally licking gently. Jaemin's hand moved back into your hair.

“Do you really have to be a fucking tease?” he whined out, though you thought whining wasn't what he was going for. “I've been waiting for this for so long and you…”

“I'm having fun,” you said innocently, licking your lips as you pulled away and looked up at him, brushing your thumb down the underside of his dick. The slight twitch of his body made you smile slightly and you tightened your grip around him again, this time a little harder.

“Shouldn't have said that,” he groaned out, leaning his head back and exposing his neck to you. You laughed in amusement, yet you couldn't help but think about marking him up again. He was right, it was best not to do it to avoid someone catching up. Yet maybe if they weren't visible…

Still having your hand stroke him at a slow pace, you moved your lips on his inner thigh. You kissed the skin gently, and you could see in the corner of your eye his head shooting up to look at you. You decided to give it a try and started sucking lightly. When he didn't try to stop you, you took on the job more seriously, nibbling on his skin and sucking harder. His thigh shivered slightly under your lips. You pulled away only when you were sure a mark would be left and you were not disappointed.

You looked up again at him and found him biting his lips. He seemed so tense and you realized that you'd forgotten about your initial task, your hand only loosely wrapped around the base of his dick. You mumbled an apology and brought your lips back to his tip. This time you felt a little better, you were pretty sure you could do this. Wrapping your lips around him, you slowly started taking him in again. You felt the same pressure from before, yet this time you were better prepared for it. Relaxing your jaw, you pulled out to the tip and then went back down as much as you could.

Your mouth was working slowly, your tongue helping here and there. You looked up for a reaction but you were not prepared for the groan that left Jaemin's lips as your eyes met his.

“You look so sinfully beautiful like this, fuck-” he gasped out, his hips twitching up slightly.

You felt pride fill you up again and that alone was enough to motivate you to go lower. The pressure increased and you couldn't help but choke slightly. What you didn't expect was to hear Jaemin moan out your name at that. Your eyes widened slightly and you felt a shiver run down your spine. Up until now, he had been giving positive reactions to whatever you did to him, but this was the first time you had heard something as vocal as that. In all honesty, you loved it. So you wanted to try it again. Yet as you once again started taking more of him in your mouth, you felt Jaemin's grip on your hair tighten. His self-control seemed to not be enough for this as he bucked his hips up. The movement wasn't big, but it was sharp and you couldn't help but choke again.

Jaemin groaned lowly, eyes closed as if he was trying to focus on you and your mouth only. His fingers loosened their hold on your hair gently again and you were relieved to be able to pull away a bit. Maybe with a little more practice, you'd be able to do this for longer. Now was not that moment so instead, you focused on the amount of him that you were comfortable with in your mouth. You kept your hand on the part that you couldn't cover.

You were starting to feel a little overwhelmed already. It felt like you'd been doing this for quite some time and you considered pulling away for a breath and asking if you were not doing something right. But with one harder squeeze of your fingers around his length, you felt him tense up in that way that you knew indicated he would cum soon.

“I'm close, princess,” he breathed out heavily, opening his eyes to look at you. You noticed how dilated his pupils were. “You don't have to- you can pull away and finish up with just your hands, otherwise it might be a bit too much for a first time,” he advised. The effort he put into making sure to be considerate and helpful was touching. So you decided to give it a shot.

Instead of pulling away, you focused on sucking harder and speeding up your movements as much as you could, bringing him over to the edge quicker than you'd expected. Suddenly, you felt a warm liquid fill your mouth and you pulled away a little so you could swallow comfortably. At first, it was okay, his cum felt a little too thick but you could manage. But quickly it did indeed get too much and you felt some of it escape the corners of your mouth. You swallowed as much as you could before finally pulling away.

You looked up at him once again. He was breathing heavily, sweat glistening on his skin and his eyes were frozen on your mouth. You quickly wiped away the cum that was still on your chin, imagining you probably looked kinda disgusting, looking away embarrassed. He had specifically told you not to try that yet, but you had overestimated yourself and ended up making a mess of yourself.

“So fucking gorgeous,” you heard him mumble and your eyes widened slightly, looking back at him in surprise. He chuckled quietly, leaning down to brush your hair away from your face and carefully wiping the corners of your lips. “I wanna scold you for not listening to me, yet I also wanna kiss you so much right now because you look so damn hot.”

You blinked in confusion, your brain not fully understanding how you could have possibly looked hot with cum dribbling down your chin.

“Did you really… find that attractive?” you asked doubtfully and he laughed.

“Come here,” he said, tapping his thighs and you carefully stood up, sitting in his lap. Well almost stumbling in it as your knees nearly gave out when you stood up. “Can I kiss you?”

“But I just-” you started, but he shushed you and cupped your cheek. He leaned closer but didn't press his lips against yours just yet. You realized he was waiting for confirmation. “Well, if it doesn't disturb you at all, yes,” you said quietly.

He was kissing you before you even had time to process it. His lips were moving against yours, a hint of almost desperation in the way he pushed his tongue in your mouth. You had a second to question how he didn't feel gross about kissing you while the taste of him was still in your mouth before thoughts left your mind completely and you kissed back, wrapping your arms around his neck and pressing closer to him. When you pulled away, he licked his lips and pressed them against your neck gently in a soft peck, making you shiver.

“You did so well, princess,” he mumbled against your skin and you felt yourself heating up. His arms wrapped around your waist as if to pull you closer, yet he didn't do that. “You're always doing your best, I am so proud of you.”

“Nana?” It's not that you didn't appreciate the praise, on the contrary, you loved hearing it. But his voice was so soft and full of appreciation, that you were a little confused.

As if the sound of his name pulled him from a trance, he pulled away from your skin and unwrapped his arms from you.

“Anyways, I'm sorry to ask you to move again but I should get dressed again, so…” he chuckled and you got up from him. He pulled his pants back on, dug out a new t-shirt, and returned to the bed, getting in it as he offered his arm to you. “Cuddles?”

You weren't one to say no so with a smile you quickly got on the bed as well, laying down next to him. You curled up on his side, one of his arms wrapping around your waist gently. Sighing quietly, you got comfortable and closed your eyes. Not that you wanted to sleep at the moment, but it was just peaceful enough that you felt like you could. Yet your mind was still a little bit stuck on what you had been doing just a few minutes ago.

“Nana… were you- holding back earlier?” you asked, eyes focused on the ceiling above your heads instead of the boy.

“I'm always holding back when I'm with you, princess,” he chuckled and you felt like there was something more in that confession that you should have caught onto, yet you weren't sure what it was exactly. “By the way, I was thinking…” You hummed, looking at him in expectation. “I know this is technically to help you and all, but… well, obviously I get quite a lot from it so…”

“Come on, what is it?” you pushed, the pauses in his sentences making it obvious to you that he was stalling. You weren't even sure what to expect from him in this situation.

“Well, as I said, I won't do anything to you that you haven't asked me for, but…” he sighed, looking at you finally. “I was thinking that it's not fair that only you do all the work so… if you ever, like, need me to return the favor or something, I'd be happy to help.”

You raised your eyebrows at him, and suddenly the image of him going down on you came back to your mind.

“So if I asked you to get me off right now, you'd agree?” you asked to confirm if you'd really understood him. Yet he seemed to take it as an invitation, or maybe it was just blatantly obvious that you were in fact quite needy as a small smirk curved his lips and the hand that was wrapped around your waist subtly moved lower down your stomach.

“I like to think that I'm quite skilled in this so I promise you won't be disappointed, princess,” he said and you almost wanted to smack him just to wipe the confidence off his face. Almost. Except that it sent a tingle down your spine and your breath caught in your throat when you felt his fingers press gently against the wetness between your legs. He raised his eyebrows slightly. “Shit, you do seem like you need it quite a lot right now.”

You opened your mouth to say something - defend yourself or remind him about how easily he got worked up every time you touched him. But you didn't get a chance to voice out anything as at that moment someone rang the doorbell. Jaemin froze, a curse escaping him a second later and he pulled away.

“I completely forgot I promised Renjun we'd play today,” he sighed as he got up off the bed. It took you a moment to realize then your eyes widened.

“Wait, that's Renjun at the door?!” you asked, your voice rising slightly as you sat up immediately. Jaemin nodded and you felt like this had to be some cruel joke.

You got off the bed and rushed over to the mirror in his room. As you suspected, your hair was a mess and your lips were still puffy from earlier. You cursed under your nose, reaching for Jaemin's hairbrush to at least get your hair to look normal. Once you deemed yourself presentable enough, the two of you made your way downstairs and Jaemin went to open.

“Hey, man, come in,” he greeted, grinning at the slightly older boy and stepping to the side so he could enter. “Sorry I took a while, Y/N is here, she was helping me with English,” he explained and you were glad that there was a normal reason for you to be at his place initially.

“Oh, hey, Y/N!” Renjun beamed at you when his eyes met yours and you smiled back, waving at him. “Sorry to interrupt your study session,” he said and the irony of it almost made you laugh.

“It's okay,” you reassured, fingers playing with the bracelet on your wrist nervously. “Do you two want me to leave you or something?”

“Oh, no, we'd love you to stay,” Jaemin was the first one to reply, grinning. “If you don't mind watching us play, of course.”

You shook your head to confirm you didn't in fact mind just watching and so the three of you moved to the living room where Jaemin's gaming console was situated.

Jaemin wasn't known for having a strong competitive spirit, yet for some reason, at the moment he seemed determined to not allow Renjun to win. Renjun, on the other side, was always competitive. Legs thrown over Jaemin's lap on the couch, you watched the most intense gameplay you'd ever seen. Your eyes moved to Renjun who had chosen to take a spot cross-legged on the floor next to the couch, eyebrows furrowed in concentration as he pressed buttons on his joystick furiously. You chuckled quietly, looking up at Jaemin instead. There was determination in his eyes that you were not used to seeing. His jaw was clenched tightly and you couldn't help but admire his side profile for a second. He was an extremely good-looking boy, no wonder girls in school were so whipped for him. Well, obviously you had always known that but in the light of the most recent events between you two, you felt like you were seeing him in a new light.

Then you looked back at Renjun again. You had been in love with him almost as long as you could remember knowing him. Obviously, he was attractive, although it was in a different way from Jaemin. Renjun was somehow softer to look at, largely due to the fact that he was shorter and more petite. You knew that below the softness he was fiery and not to be messed with, but you had always been, well, soft for him. Thinking about it, you weren't sure if you had ever thought about him in a sexual way. You didn't think that was a bad thing. But you couldn't really bring yourself to imagine being intimate with him even right now, nervousness filling you as you attempted that, unlike how comfortable you felt with Jaemin.

Caught up in your head, you had forgotten about the game the two boys were playing and you were pretty startled when Jaemin suddenly jumped up with a victorious shout, making your legs fall to the side and causing you to lose your balance as you nearly fell off the couch.

“You don't usually care this much about winning, Jaemin,” Renjun laughed, shaking his head slightly, although you could see on his face the disappointment and frustration of losing.

“We don't usually have an audience,” Jaemin pointed out, turning his shining eyes to you as a grin spread his lips. “I dedicate this win to you, princess. And I also believe I deserve a congratulatory kiss for it.”

He was joking, obviously, he had to be. He couldn't have just asked you to kiss him in front of Renjun. You stared at him wide-eyed, your legs still dangling awkwardly from the couch. Yet no laugh came and no ‘just kidding’ so you had to assume he really meant it. Glancing shortly at Renjun, you stood up and told yourself to relax, smiling at him.

"Oh, my brave knight in shining armor, you have made me the happiest person in this room by winning for me a game that I don’t even know the name of," you said dramatically as you leaned over and pressed a peck against his cheek, his smile widening even more.

Renjun's eyes moved between you two, his eyebrows raised as if he was trying to piece everything together and make sense of it.

“You two have gotten closer recently,” he remarked and for a second you were scared he'd assume something which would not be true at all. You were ready to say something to distract him, yet he spoke up first. "I'm happy to see it, though. I always thought you’re a bit too distant."

You felt relief wash over you - he thought you were simply better friends. Well, you guessed he was right about that. But at least he hadn't caught up that there could be more behind that.

“This boy is tragic in English, I have to come to help him quite often,” you chuckled.

Jaemin shot you a quick upset look that appeared as if feeling betrayed that you'd called him out on his English skills (which weren't even that bad, to begin with), yet you felt bad for lying like that, even though you knew that you couldn't possibly tell Renjun the truth.

The school cafeteria was emptier than usual as one of the teachers had called in sick today and everyone who had classes with her had had a free period. As a result, some of the students who had classes with her before or after lunch break had decided to go for a meal somewhere outside. Well, your friend group wasn't among those people so you were, as usual, sitting on one of the tables in the back of the room, each munching on something.

“Oh, Jaemin, how did your English test go?” you asked suddenly, remembering that his English class had been one of his first.

“I think I've got it,” he grinned proudly, winking at you and you rolled your eyes, yet smiled at him.

“Well, no wonder, if Y/N has been helping you out and you still manage to fail, you must be a complete idiot,” Renjun noted, taking a bite of his sandwich. At the questioning look on the other two of your friends' faces, he blinked. “You guys didn't know as well? Turns out these two have been having English lessons together for a while now.”

“Oh, makes sense why you suddenly got so much closer with him then," Karina commented, a piece of chicken forgotten on her fork as she looked between you two. “I was starting to wonder since you never really said anything,” she grinned almost knowingly, setting her fork down and taking a sip of her drink instead.

“I know, right?” Renjun laughed. “Yesterday when I was over, they seemed so comfortable together, she even played along with his dumb flirting.”

“Yep, I just didn't think that's really something worth mentioning,” you nodded quickly.

Were you really going to get away so easily? Karina and Renjun didn't seem to really suspect anything, it seemed. But then your eyes moved to Hyuck and you found him looking at you with a calculating look on his face. You looked away, pretending you hadn't noticed. Hopefully, he wouldn't figure it out in the end. Hopefully, he wouldn't mention it.

Yet hope was a dangerous thing, you realized when you walked out of your next class and found Donghyuck waiting for you, arms crossed in front of his chest.

“You're having sex, aren't you?” he asked bluntly and you looked around frantically. No one seemed to pay you two attention.

“No!” you tried to deny quickly, but the look on his face told you he wasn't buying it. “Okay, yeah, I ended up asking him for real,” you admitted, fidgeting with your bracelet.

“Are you sure it's a good idea?” the boy asked and you felt a little bit better when you realized there was no judgment in his question, it was more like he was concerned. So you nodded, smiling.

“He's a great teacher and he's careful with me, plus I really do enjoy spending time with him even without that so it's pretty much a win-win situation,” you reassured, yet Hyuck seemed like he had something else in mind.

“Well, I hope you're right,” he said simply. “Such arrangements don't usually end well.”

But before you could ask for clarification, you saw Jaemin appear from the corner of the corridor as if he had heard you talking. In a blink, the serious expression on Hyuck's face was gone, replaced with a grin.

“Hey, lover boy,” he greeted the slightly younger boy and Jaemin slowed down in his steps, glancing at you.

“You told him...?” he asked in confusion.

“Tell me what?” Hyuck faked surprise, raising his eyebrows. “Something going on between you two aside from those English lessons?”

“He figured it out,” you sighed, smacking Donghyuck on the arm lightly. “I told you, I was on the phone with him when I was trying to remember things from the party. Unfortunately.”

“You truly amaze me,” Donghyuck laughed, patting Jaemin on the back. “I don't know what's funnier, the fact that your excuse for the others was English lessons or the fact that they bought it.”

“Don't jinx it,” you rolled your eyes. “And please don't tell them. I'd prefer Renjun not to know about this. And Karina… well, she’s my best friend, I'll tell her myself at some point.”

You were relieved when he nodded in agreement. You were startled by his arm suddenly wrapping around your shoulders and you looked to the side to find him grinning at you.

“You know, Y/N, I’ve heard rumors that Jaemin never sleeps with the same girl twice,” Hyuck whispered way too loudly. “Can you imagine? High school heartthrob, the most wanted boy that no one can truly have, is breaking his principles for you, Y/N,” he said dramatically and you rolled your eyes.

“Shut up, Hyuck, the two are completely different,” Jaemin scoffed and you could hear the cutting annoyance in his tone.

“I also heard,” Hyuck ignored him, widening his eyes for the sake of being dramatic. “That he’s not had a hook-up in a while now. Hmmm, maybe since around the beginning of the new school year. Why could that be?”

“Stop rambling nonsense,” Jaemin snapped, hitting him on the back of the head and Donghyuck laughed cheerfully, running away before Jaemin had the chance to use any more violence.

He didn’t miss the chance to send you a dramatic wink though before he was out of sight. As Jaemin walked you to your next class in comfortable silence, you couldn’t help but wonder why Donghyuck had mentioned both of those ‘rumors’. And the thought haunted you for a while after as well.

It wasn’t one of your best days, you could admit that. You had overslept and arrived late for school, mid-class realized you had forgotten both your history books (which meant that the teacher wouldn’t let you stay in class unless you could find someone to borrow from and, unlucky you, you couldn’t) and your lunch (which wasn’t as bad but still upsetting). On top of that, your mom had texted you that both she and your dad wouldn’t make it home today due to work. You were upset and slightly stressed out and your mind couldn’t focus on anything. So instead of going home once classes ended, you hid in the library.

“Oh, thank you, I wouldn’t have thought to check here,” a familiar voice said and you lifted your head from the table to see a familiar head. The librarian walked away as Jaemin took a book from one of the shelves and turned around. His eyes stopped on you and he raised his eyebrows in surprise. “Oh, Y/N, what are you doing here?”

“Oh, you know, soaking up some of the smart vibes,” you tried to joke, but you failed to make it sound humorous.

Jaemin seemed to catch on quickly that you weren’t your usual self and he made his way over to you, taking the seat across from yours.

“What’s wrong, princess?” he asked, eyebrows furrowing with concern.

“Oh, nothing really, just having an off day,” you reassured, managing a smile.

To be honest, seeing him lifted your mood. How hadn’t you thought about reaching out to him before for company? With your different class schedules, you often had a hard time seeing your friends at school, sometimes even during the lunch break you couldn’t all be together and it had slipped your mind that the other four of your friend group were actually in the same building as you.

“Wanna talk about it?” he asked carefully and didn't push when you shook your head no. “Alright then, is there anything I can do to make it better?”

“Already did, Jaem,” you smiled, reaching over to ruffle his hair and he chuckled. “I don't know why I didn't think of texting you for company or something.”

“Oh, that could happen,” he waved his hand. “I'm here now. Although I must admit, the school library is not my location of choice.”

“Well, if you want you can come over,” you offered. “My parents won't be home today so I would appreciate some company.” You couldn't help the bitterness in your tone.

The look on his face showed you that he understood what you weren't telling him - how much their absence affected you, how much you hated being alone in your home. Yet he didn't say anything about it, instead just smiled and agreed.

About 20 minutes and a bus ride later, the two of you walked into your house. The big empty space and the thought that there wouldn't be anyone else in here tonight overwhelmed you and you didn't feel like using the common rooms so you led the way to your bedroom.

“You know, I've been thinking about redecorating here,” you said, humming to yourself as you looked around. “Wanna help me?” you turned to him, smiling with sudden excitement.

“Sure,” he grinned. “What’cha thinking of doing?”

“Hmmm, I think it's time I take off some of those posters over there,” you pointed, “and I have a box of photos that I wanna put up but was always too lazy to do that.”

As you spoke, you walked over to your desk and pulled out the box in question. You shuffled through the things inside it - photos of you and your friends at random places and times plus a few with your parents - and were surprised to find an unopened pack of glow-in-the-dark stars. You had also wanted to put some of those on your walls but the thought had slipped your mind and now, looking at them, a smile curved your lips. Jaemin leaned over your shoulder, surprising you as you had not realized he was behind you, and chuckled.

“Sounds great, let's do it.”

Taking off the old things was easy, although a bit annoying. The real challenge came when it was time to put up the new stuff. The photos had a designated space on a corkboard that the two of you put up easily, but the arrangement seemed to be a living hell. No matter what you tried, you weren't satisfied.

“Maybe if you put Karina and Hyuck over here and below them the photo with me?” Jaemin was doing his best to help you, holding up the pins whenever you tried some new configuration. You hummed and tried what he had offered. “I think it looks nice.”

“Yes, but what about this one? It's from the same day as Karina and Hyuck but it doesn't work well in the space that's left,” you huffed, pouting. If only you weren't such a perfectionist at the most random of times…

“Well you could put it across and use them as some sort of frame?” he offered and you followed through, observing the way it looked like that.

“Yeah, that can work,” you thought about it for a moment, taking a few other photos and filling up the space. Then rearranged some of them. Then once again rearranged them. Finally, things were starting to look satisfying enough.

Little by little, with small suggestions from Jaemin and a lot of rearranging, you were pleased with what you had accomplished. The faces of your favorite people were looking back at you, smiling as if congratulating you for a job well done. A smile grew on your face as well.

The next step was putting up the stars. And yes, it was just as hard. You wanted them to make up actual constellations which meant that you had like ten tabs open on your phone as you guided Jaemin on where to put each star. Putting up your star sign's constellation had been the first step, followed by the dragon, which took way too much time, and by the end, you were feeling bad about making Jaemin do all this with you, but he reassured you with a bright smile that he didn't mind.

“Put that big one as Sirius,” you pointed, currently making the big dog. You had just finished up with Orion.

“You'll have to be a little more precise, what the fuck is Sirius?” Jaemin laughed awkwardly, looking at you in confusion.

“The brightest star visible in our sky,” you rolled your eyes, chuckling. “And also part of the dog. Take, like, eight times Orion's belt following its line.”

“I know you live in a mansion but I don't think your wall is big enough for that, love,” he rolled his eyes and you huffed.

“Then just follow the line and put it somewhere,” you said, tone slightly bratty, but he obliged without protesting. “Now, put another one above it and to the left kinda, and then kinda make a triangle.”

“God, just show me what it should look like,” Jaemin sighed, turning to you. “This is so far the worst explanation you've given me.”

You exaggerated an exasperated groan and turned your screen towards him, letting him take in the image. Nodding to himself, he got back to work, sticking little glowing stars on your wall and the constellation slowly came to life.

“Alright, there are not enough stars for anything else so that should be all,” you checked the box while Jaemin got off the chair the two of you had set up instead of a ladder.

“Thank all gods!” he sighed dramatically and you chuckled, walking over to him.

You weren't sure what took over you, yet the next thing you knew was that you were tiptoeing to press your lips, still curved in a small smile, on his in a gentle peck. When you pulled away, his eyebrows were raised in surprise.

“I just-” you started, biting your lips. “Thank you. For helping me and for keeping me company.”

“Of course, princess,” he smiled gently. “Anything you need, I am here to help.”

You bit your lips, thinking for a moment. You were so used to doing something sexual whenever the two of you got together and your mind was already drifting away in that direction. But you didn't want to ruin the pure and soft energy that the two of you had established for now.

“Nana, can we cuddle?” you asked instead and he chuckled.

“I didn't know you still need to ask about that,” he teased, “given what else that we have done.”

“Yeah, but… it’s always nice to ask, y’know. Plus, I wanna sit in your lap or something like that,” you pouted.

Shaking his head slightly, Jaemin took your hand and pulled you to the bed, getting up on it and pulling you sideways in his lap. He looked at you as if for confirmation that that's what you had meant and you nodded, leaning your head on his shoulder and wrapping your arm around his waist. One of his arms wrapped around you to hold you closer and his fingers started drawing small figures on your side as his other hand rested on your knee. A small smile curved your lips. It was at times like this when you appreciated how clingy this boy was. It felt perfect, it felt safe. And it felt like home more than the empty house you were in.

For a while it was quiet. Your mind started drifting away and suddenly you remembered the things Donghyuck had said the other day. It wasn’t as much about why he hadn’t made this a one-time thing, instead what kept you thinking was the idea that he had stopped seeing other people. And even more so the fact that you were unexplainably pleased by that.

“Nana?” you said quietly and he hummed. "Have you really not been with anyone else since we started this lessons thing?”

You felt his fingers stop moving and you looked up at him. He was looking at you, lips pressed together and an unreadable expression on his face.

“Yeah,” he nodded in the end. “I thought that it would be unfair to you. Plus, I don’t really need to see anyone else.”

“But what we do here is not something official,” you pointed out, your chest clenching as the words left your lips. You weren't sure why. “You’ve never really been one to settle down. I never intended to stop you from hooking up with other people. Or even dating someone, if you have found someone.”

“You're not stopping me, princess,” he said, sighing as he rubbed your back gently. “I am not interested in anyone else at the moment, that's the reason. And you're doing quite well in satisfying my needs, so why would I be?”

He chuckled slightly at the end and smiled at you as if trying to reassure you that you had nothing to worry about. Yet his smile didn't reach his eyes and you couldn't help but worry that he was hiding something from you.

“Do you… ever feel like I'm just using you?” you asked, biting your lips. This had been something you worried about for a while actually - sure, he only seemed uncomfortable the first time, but what if he just didn't want to hurt you by backing out after he had already agreed?

“Love, what's with these questions all of a sudden?” he raised his eyebrows, taking your chin between his fingers and lifting your head slightly to make sure you were looking at him. “Of course you're not ‘just using’ me. I agreed to it and, trust me, I enjoy every moment of it. If you're anxious because I wait for you to initiate things, we agreed on that at the beginning and it’s for you to feel comfortable, right?”

You nodded slightly, a small pout curving your lips. It seemed like he wasn't sure whether you believed him or not, so he hummed and leaned closer, pecking your lips softly. You blinked in surprise.

“Is this enough to convince you that I am happy with the way things are or would you need me to fuck you to prove it?” he grinned and you rolled your eyes. You were well aware it was just a joke yet your body seemed to react to the suggestion as you felt yourself heating up.

“I don't-” you started, but you weren't sure what you wanted to say. As much as the idea of having sex with Jaemin seemed appealing, you didn't feel that the time was right. But then again, it did seem appealing… and he had offered…

“What are you thinking about, princess?” he asked, his voice so close to your ear that it startled you. “You can be honest with me.”

“I'm not… ready to go all the way,” you admitted. “But now thanks to you I'm also needy.” You childishly whined out that one, rolling your eyes.

“My offer still stands,” he said with a small smirk on his lips as his fingers on your knee started gently moving up and down your skin. “All you have to do is ask if you want me to take care of that for you.”

“Since when are you into teasing?” you scoffed, looking away as you couldn't stand looking at the knowing curve of his lips and his eyes looking at you intensely.

“I've always been like this, you know,” he responded, tilting his head to the side. “And just because I haven't commented on it, doesn't mean I don't notice the way you move uncomfortably when you try to hide how turned on you are. You look adorable, by the way, the way you squirm around and get all shy without even realizing it. Makes me want to ravish you every time.”

“Oh my god, Jaemin, shut up!” you whined out. You'd be lying though if you said his words didn't affect you. You couldn't help but feel embarrassed that he had seen through you that easily. Yet the fact that he claimed to get turned on by that made the heat between your legs spread. So you took his hand on your knee, moved it up to your thigh, and after a deep breath said: “If you really mean that, now's your time to shine.”

A soft laugh left his lips but he didn't wait for a second invitation to let his hand slip under your uniform skirt along your sensitive skin.

“Should I take revenge for all the teasing you put me through and edge you on until you're begging me to finally make you come?” he asked, voice low as his thumb brushed against your clothed clit, making your thighs twitch.

“I never meant to tease you!” you defended yourself, although if you had to be honest, you did enjoy it a lot of the time.

“I know, princess,” he assured you, despite the knowing smirk on his lips. “And since you've been such a diligent student… you deserve a little reward.”

And true to his word, he carefully pushed your panties to the side and one of his fingers moved up your slit, drawing a whimper out of you. His thumb pressed against your clit and rubbed carefully and you let your head fall back on his shoulder.

There was something different about Jaemin at the moment. Yes, he'd always been confident and even though you were usually the one in control, that didn't change. But this time his energy was different - he was dominating the situation with nothing more than a couple of soft touches.

One of his fingers started pushing inside you slowly and you bit your lips to hold back a whimper. His free hand moved to your head and gently stroked your hair as he started pumping his finger in and out carefully. Occasionally, his thumb would rub over your clit. And as good as it felt… it was nowhere near enough.

“Jaemin, please,” you pleaded quietly. “You said you wouldn’t tease.”

“I’m just making the most of my time,” he chuckled. “You’re just too soft and wet, princess, I’m sorry.” You wined out and he smiled a little wider. “Give me a kiss and I’ll think about it.”

“I’m starting to think you really meant that part about the begging,” you muttered as you hooked your fingers in his shirt and tugged him closer to press your lips against his.

“Don’t mind if you do,” he whispered against your lips when you pulled away, the corner of his mouth tugging upwards.

Yet he didn’t wait for you to say anything else. His movements sped up almost immediately after a second finger made its way inside you. This time you couldn’t fight your moan as a shiver ran down your spine. Jaemin’s fingers worked quickly inside you, spreading you out and curling, pressing against your walls until he found that spot that made you shake with pleasure. And then it was like a whole new world opened its doors for you.

Jaemin pressed his lips gently against your neck, kissing along your skin. You could feel how careful he was to not spend too much time on any one spot in case your skin bruised and it saddened you a bit, but fuck, it still felt so good. Then he moved up your throat to a spot below your ear. That’s where he started sucking on your skin harder. All the while, his fingers kept up their sweet torture, making your body twist in his hold as moans fell from your lips one after another.

“That’s my good girl,” Jaemin whispered against your ear and you whimpered. “I’ve imagined this so many times, you know? How receptive you’d be, how loud you’d get when I’m touching you. I’d also love to know how you taste, to see what you look like when you cum. Will you show me, princess?”

“Nana, please,” you whimpered again and the sharp exhale that you felt against your skin reminded you that he seemed to have a thing for begging. “I’m close, please, don’t stop.”

“As long as you promise to moan as loud as you can for me, princess,” he said with a low tone, his hot breath hitting your sensitive skin. “Tell me how good I’m making you feel, let me hear you.”

And who were you to say no, really? Not with the way his fingers were moving, not with the way his thumb was pressing against your clit, and definitely not with the way he was making you see stars. Every moan you let out seemed to make him even more determined until finally you couldn’t take it anymore and came with a whine of his name.

When you opened your eyes again, Jaemin was looking at you with the softest star-struck expression you’d ever seen. Your heart skipped a beat at the warmth in his eyes.

“You’re so beautiful,” he said softly and you felt bubbling in your chest. If you weren’t in a daze from your orgasm, you’d probably think about that. But you didn’t.

“And you’re hard,” you chuckled instead and earned yourself an eye-roll in response.

“I believe I have a pretty valid reason for that, while you didn’t have one for completely ignoring my compliment.”

“No, listen,” you hummed and pecked his cheek. “Thank you. But I just thought that it would be unfair to just leave you like this. I should return the favor, no?”

“Not this time, love,” he shook his head. “I’ll be okay. I’d prefer to just stay like this for a little longer.”

taglist: @multihoe-net @jaeymark @bythe8 @jaemboi64 @okokoksblog @paintandwine @fairypothos @sweetjaemss @magnificentjudgemoneyhands @jsjcue @sunshinedhyuck @luvdroids @wanlore @marklexleaf @back2jisung @taehyungmami @the-midnight-arthouse @multifandombtvh @chichhihaa @nctevia @thiccfullsun @hwanunjin @dinochocochip @keemburley @jaemints

#nct #nct scenarios #nct imagines #nct smut #nct dream #nct dream scenarios #nct dream imagines #nct dream smut #nct jaemin #jaemin imagines #jaemin smut #jaemin x reader #na jaemin #na jaemin scenarios #na jaemin smut #na jaemin x reader

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maximum-rambles · 3 years ago

Text

After Dark (Cove Holden x Autistic! Reader)

(This scene was probably inspired when Y/N gets overwhelmed from the fireworks and there were the options where you can stay and either you or Cove covers your ears or you choose to leave. Of course I wanted to see how the option to leave would unfold under my headcanons of the autistic reader)

CW: sensory overload, shutdowns, reader goes non-speaking

Miranda and Terri shared a worried look, and Cove stepped in front of you. He was a grounding sight, and a distraction from the fireworks.

Cove gently put his hands on the sides of your head, covering your ears. The world gained a muffled filter as he blocked out the surrounding sounds…

“We don’t have to stay…” he said calmly, giving you an option to bail, in which you agreed tearfully.

“I want to go…” you croaked out, tears brimming through as everything is getting painful for you to process anything.

Cove understood how it was getting too much for you and nodded, keeping his hands over your ears and began to walk with you back to his car and muttering out reassurances to try and keep you from getting escalated.

The two of you reached his car and unlocked it for you to enter in.

He closed the door and went to his driver side while locking it and locking the doors just in case. The sounds of the fireworks muffled but still sounded overwhelming.

Your hands effectively covered your ears as tight as they can as Cove pulled out his phone, typing something for you to see “Can I help?” all in bold letters.

You nodded and gestured to stay and keep you grounded or at least distracted from your hearing.

Cove thought about this and figured how… before silently popping on a CD that usually calms him down when he gets anxious. A soft guitar strums in along with the gentle sounds of the ocean in the background. He put the car into ignition and drove to a vacant lot that was away from the fireworks at a great distance.

Cove stayed in silence and kept observing before noticing how your body started to release from your former tense position and how your hands are starting to slowly lower down.

Cove dialled the volume back down to where it was a whisper and his voice spoke up, in a gentle yet concerned way. “Are you doing a little better now?” He asked while you nodded wordlessly.

You tried to talk but you felt like your throat tensed up with every attempt. You let out a frustrated and upset whimper before Cove pointed to his phone and gave it to you.

“Shhh. Don’t try to verbally talk if you’re not able to. It’s okay. You can type it out on my phone, okay?”

You nodded and you fumbled against the touchscreen before showing Cove the message that reads “Everything feels sensitive… but that stereo is calming me down…”

You briefly signed to have the volume up a bit more and after a couple of adjustments, you nodded in a way for him to know that’s enough.

Cove smiled carefully and noticed how your hands are getting restless to the point it can spiral out of control. He looked and glanced up at you. “Would you like something to hold onto?” He asked?

You nodded and he reached into his centre console to pull out a plush shark. “Here, hold onto him.” He said gently as he gave it to you to hold.

After a while, you started to relax and fully come back down. Even then, you still couldn’t help but feel guilty for not being able to handle any loud sounds, even when you wanted to hang out. You already worried Miranda and Terri… Even Cove. All before your harsh words came to yourself, the unsettling feeling stopped as Cove quietly hummed something.

As his voice, consoles you…

“As the hours pass

I will let you know

That I need to ask

Before I'm alone…

How it feels to rest

On your patient lips

To eternal bliss

I'm so glad to know…”

Your body slacked as you rested your head on his shoulder, feeling safe with him nearby. You two stayed like this for a while before weakly muttering out a soft “thank you…”

Cove smiled quietly and hummed “It’s no problem. You know I love you…” he replied with much needed reassurance.

You know for certain that he always has your back and he has yours.

#our life beginnings & always #cove holden #cove holden x reader #autistic reader

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flosbelova · 3 years ago

Text

Communication is Key

Florence Pugh x Reader

summary: You saw paparazzi pictures of Florence with her ex and thought she was cheating on you. You decided to leave and stay with your parents for a couple of days to try and figure out what to do next. You didn’t expect for Florence to follow you back home to try to win you back.

warnings: curse words, ANGST

word count: 2.2k+

gif creds to owner

Your head was spiraling at the image right in front of you. You mentally kicked yourself for thinking that you could trust her. Florence was photographed with her ex-boyfriend, hanging around the city. You were hurt. You thought that things were going pretty well between the both of you.

For the past year, you and Florence had gotten to know each other and have been going on a couple of dates, every time she was in town. You even got her her own key to your apartment. When she told you that she would be in New York to film a movie, you were so excited. The only downside was that she would be working with her ex-boyfriend, but you figured that Florence would be professional enough to not let anything happen. Well, you thought wrong.

You tried not to psych yourself out as you were scrolling through the multiple pictures taken of Florence and her ex. At first the pictures were fine, just them walking down the street, seeing Florence's smile and how big it was around him. You thought that maybe she was happier with him. But then your heart dropped when you scrolled down to the last picture and it was a picture of him kissing her cheek. You tried your best not to think of anything, and maybe thought that it was the angle of the picture. But soon enough, your insecurities got the best of you. You started overthinking and thought that maybe she had been seeing him behind your back. Your head started to ache.

"Oh my God, I need to stop thinking," you said out loud to yourself.

You heard your apartment door open and looked over from the couch.

"Hi, love," you heard a familiar voice say. You sighed.

"Hey," Florence greeted you from behind the couch.

She rested her hand on your shoulder but you shrugged it off and got up. You walked into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water. You sat back down on the kitchen island and took a sip from your bottle.

"Is everything okay?" Florence asked, taking off her jacket and placing it on the armrest of the couch.

"I don't know, Florence. You tell me," you say, catching your lip in between your teeth.

Florence flinched at the sound of her full name coming out of your mouth. Her heart started pounding as she started to rummage through her head and wondering what she could have done wrong. She furrowed her brows when she saw you frantically scrolling through your phone.

"Y/N, what is going on?" Florence asked, her voice low.

"This," you showed her your phone that contained the paparazzi picture of Zach kissing your girlfriend's cheek. "How could you?" you asked, your voice breaking.

Florence took a deep breath, "Look, I can explain."

"Explain what exactly? You frolicking around with your ex, laughing and smiling, and letting him kiss you on the cheek forgetting that you have a girlfriend?" you gulped and felt a lump in your throat.

"It's not what it looks like, Y/N. Please, just let me explain," Florence pleaded, getting closer to you which caused you to back away.

"Save it," you say through gritted teeth. "I'm going home."

You headed into your room and grabbed a duffel bag and started packing your clothes.

"What do you mean "home"? You are home, Y/N."

"No, Florence. I'm going back home. I can't be in the same place as you right now," you say as you walk past her, purposely bumping into her shoulder.

Florence grabbed your arm but you withdrew from her hold and headed to the front door. You turned around, scratched your head, and squeezed the bridge of your nose. "Look, I know what I signed up for when I agreed to be your girlfriend. I knew that I wouldn't see you as much because of your tight schedule. I know that we haven't made anything official to the public, which is fine, but could you at least act like you have a girlfriend? You are an actress so you can at least act like you have one."

Your words stung Florence. "My love, please don't be like that," Florence wiped her tears.

"No. Don't "my love," me, Florence," you pointed at her. "God, I really thought that this was gonna go somewhere," you wiped the tears that fell on your cheeks. "We've been dating for a year, and honestly, it's the happiest I've been and you know that. I can't believe you fucked this up."

"I didn't fuck anything up, Y/N!" Florence raised her voice, getting defensive. "If you could just stop jumping to fucking conclusions and let me explain then we wouldn't be in this fight now would we? But fine, if you wanna go home, then go home."

You were silent as Florence's infamous frown was visible on her face. As hurt as you were, there was a part of you that was hurt for her. You wanted to drop your bag and hug her and never let go, but your pride was too high at this moment. You wanted to leave, you needed space.

Florence took a deep breath and broke the silence. "It's alright, Y/N. Go home."

And with that, you slammed the door and drove back to your hometown.

Two weeks have passed and you were still at your mom's house. You were back in your old room and nostalgia washed over you as you cried on your bed, just like you did when you were going through a heartbreak during your teen years.

Florence had been texting, calling, and leaving voicemails. You were too stubborn to even bother to return them. You wanted to be petty and left her messages on read. Her last text message to you was her trying to explain why she was out in the city with Zach. Apparently it was for something business related for their film, which you thought was reasonable. She tried explaining to you the picture of Zach kissing her on her cheek, but you didn't want to believe her.

She said that her and Zach were talking about their past and had come to an agreement. She explained that he had kissed her on the cheek as a form of closure, but you were still hurt. You were still blinded by your own pain to come to an understanding.

"Y/N," your mom's voice was muffled as she knocked on your door.

"What is it, Mom?" you raised your voice, not wanting to get up from your bed.

"You have a visitor," she said, opening your door.

"What?" you asked, trying to think of people who know you. You got up from your bed and headed into the living room. Your heart dropped when you saw a familiar blonde sitting on the couch.

"What the hell are you doing here?" you asked, annoyed.

"Y/N, please reason with her," your Mom placed her hand on your shoulder and gave you a reassuring look. She headed into the kitchen to give you and Florence some privacy.

You walked over to the living room and sat on the couch, opposite of Florence, facing her. "What do you want?" you asked, resting your head on your hand.

Florence looked down and licked her lips. She eventually looked at you with an apologetic look on her face. "I wanted to talk to you."

"You couldn't have just called?" you rolled your eyes.

"You don't even bother to return my calls, Y/N," Florence said. "I had to leave the set for a few days because I couldn't stand not being able to talk to you. I couldn't stand you ignoring me."

"Well shit, I'm sorry for making an inconvenience," you raised your hands sarcastically.

"Can you please just cut the bullshit, Y/N? I came all the way out here because I wanted to talk to you! I need to talk to you and you won't even give me the time of day. You are so goddamn selfish, you know that? I gave you your space, I gave you time, and now, when I go out of my way to reason with you, you don't even wanna hear it. Stop being stubborn for once and listen to me," Florence raised her voice again.

You clenched your jaw and looked away. You closed your eyes for a moment and tried to calm down. You knew she was right. She came all the way out to your hometown, and you refuse to hear her side. You really were stubborn.

"Fine," you say. "Explain yourself," you gestured your hand.

Florence took a deep breath. "Alright. As you know, Zach and I's break up didn't go as well as it did. He and I both hurt each other and I ran away. But clearly, I couldn't go very far because prior to our relationship ending, I had already signed a contract stating that I would star in this film that he wrote. So, when filming started and I saw him again, I knew that I had to make things right. I didn't want to be on set and feel tense every time I saw him."

"I still don't see your point," you said.

"I'm not finished." Florence continued, "I invited him to have lunch with me so that he and I could talk things over. Both to talk about the business side of the movie and also about how he and I left things off. He and I discussed that it was best for him and I to just be friends, or at least colleagues. Of course, after leaving the restaurant, we hugged and he kissed me on the cheek."

"So, you let your ex kiss you on the cheek," you say dryly.

"You're not letting me finish, Y/N." Florence continued on, "When he kissed me on the cheek, I told him that I was in a relationship with you. I told him about you, Y/N. And after that he apologized and said he got the wrong impression, which I told him was stupid because I just told him that I only wanted to be friends."

"Well, that's something you and I can agree on," you chuckled, causing Florence to chuckle as well.

"So," Florence took a deep breath. "That's that. I told him about our situation and he let me go for a couple of days and told me to fix it. Which is why I'm here, Y/N. I want to fix this. I didn't expect for the paparazzi to be there, let alone for you to see the pictures and get the wrong impression. And I know I fucked up. And it's why I'm here. I should have told you sooner that I was gonna go and have lunch with him. And I've been miserable for the past two weeks trying to keep it together because I do love you, Y/N. And I see our relationship going somewhere. I really do."

You took a moment to process everything your girlfriend had said. You got up from the couch and joined Florence and sat next to her. You took her hand and kissed her knuckles. Red crept up on Florence's cheeks.

"You didn't fuck anything up, Flo," you say, intertwining your fingers. "I fucked up. I'm the one who didn't hear you out. I'm the one who ran away."

"No," Florence shook her head, "I don't wanna hear it. I don't want you blaming yourself."

"But-"

"But nothing, Y/N. Just come back home with me," Florence said.

"YES!" you heard your mom scream from the kitchen.

"Mom?!" you furrowed your brows, "were you listening the whole time?"

Your mom came out of the kitchen. "Not exactly, just the part where your girlfriend asked you to go home."

"Wow, I thought you enjoyed my company," you rolled your eyes.

"Sweetheart, trust me, I do. I miss seeing you at home, but you are a grown adult, with your own grown adult life. Go home with Florence. Please. I can't have you moping around my house in your pajamas all day crying about how much you miss your girlfriend."

You heard a chuckle from Florence after your mom mentioned the last part.

"Mom!" you whined, rolling your eyes.

"So, you cried for two weeks straight?" Florence teased.

"Shut up," you rolled your eyes. Florence giggled and kissed you on the cheek, and rested her head on your shoulder.

"I'm sorry for intruding, sweetheart. But please, pack your bags and go home. You both clearly miss each other. And a word of advice, please learn to communicate, Y/N. I raised you better than that. And the same goes for you, too, Florence," Your mom said, pointing at the both of you.

"Will do, Mrs. Y/L/N," Florence nodded.

A day later and you're finally back at your apartment. Florence still had the day off so the both of you decided to stay in bed and just hold each other. Your girlfriend rests her head on your chest, listening to your heartbeat. You ran your hands through her now short blonde hair and occasionally tracing patterns on her back. You kissed the top of her head and forgot how much you missed her scent and the way it felt to hold her in your arms. You never wanted to let her go, and neither did she.

Florence looked up at you and smiled. She reached up and kissed you softly on your lips and nuzzled her nose against yours.

"You're home," she whispered softly.

You kissed her lips. "I'm home."

The End

#florence pugh x reader #florence pugh imagine #florence pugh oneshot #florence pugh fanfic #yelena belova #fanfic #fan fiction #wlw

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imjusttpeachy · 4 years ago

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sleepy angel. (c.h.)

Can I please request some cute corpse husband fluff. I really want something adorable and cute with him. Like playing with the readers hair and cuddles and that. -anon

okay yall i hope this isn’t too weird but i saw a tiktok abt it and thought it was the cutest thing ever and just— i needed to write about it. pretty short but i’m just getting back into writing sorryyyy

please check out the warnings!!

playlist

the licks - lavender kiss

wet bandits - movies as friends

puma blue - want me

dre’es - warm

daniel ceasar - get you

summary: reader is feeling a little cuddly but doesn’t want to disturb Corpse during his stream. who knew the floor could be so comfortable?

word count: 944

WARNINGS: she/her pronouns used, dom/sub undertones???, basically you sit on the floor and he plays with your hair pls don’t read if uncomfy with stuff like that

•••

You didn’t consider yourself a clingy girlfriend.

No, not at all.

It wasn’t clingy to want to be around your favourite person at all times, just to be sure that they’re safe and happy and not too stressed, right? Just to be sure.

Well, that’s what you told yourself anyway as you crawled out of bed and shuffled toward your boyfriend’s office where he was currently streaming. He probably still had a few hours left, but your skin was itching to feel his touch. You had already spent the past couple hours smothering yourself in his hoodie and comforter, reveling in his addicting smell. Though, even with the soft plush completely surrounding you, you couldn’t shake the feeling of just needing to be near him.

You shouldn’t distract him— that was the last thing he needed when he was already so anxious during streams, but it couldn’t hurt to just sit with him, right? It may even be relaxing to have you there, just keeping him company.

Pushing open the door to his office slowly, you peeked in through the crack, eyes immediately spotting that messy mop of black hair only illuminated by the monitor’s light in front of it. You found it odd at first, that he liked playing in the dark, but realized how much smaller it made the room feel therefore being more comforting to him. Finally gathering all your nerve, you pushed the door open and slipped inside the dark room quickly shutting it behind you. You felt kinda creepy, hiding in the shadows and against the walls of the room but you didn’t want to scare him at a bad point in the game and embarrass him in front of his audience. Watching his monitor from over his shoulder, you thought of a plan as you waited for the round to end. You didn’t want to distract him, so sitting in his lap was a big no; glancing downward though, a grin began to pull at you lips as you finally figured it out.

The game went on for maybe another minute or so before the ending screen played and all the characters began transporting back into the lobby— it was go-time. Silently slinking down to your hands and knees, you slowly crawled over to the side of the chair before hooking your chin over his thigh and gazing up at him. You felt his body jerk slightly at the pressure on his thigh, his gaze shooting down from the monitor and locking onto yours as you grinned at him from the floor. He gaped at you for a second before his hand shot out to mute his mic.

“Baby, what-“

“Just wanna be with you,” You could hear the confusion in his tone before you cut him off with your quiet mumble, sighing softly and closing your eyes as you settled in your place, hands folding to rest in your lap as to not accidentally reach out and wrap around his leg as well. Though, as the room settled into silence your brow furrowed as you lifted your chin off of his thigh to look up at him, mind beginning to race with the thought of making him uncomfortable. “Is... Is that okay? I’m sorry I should’ve-“

“No, no it’s okay bunny, I was just surprised.” It was his turn to cut off your nervous rambling just as you began to spiral, his hand coming down to rest against your jaw tilting your gaze back up until it locked with his again. His eyes drifted over your face as you looked up at him with probably the most lovesick expression painted all over your face, nuzzling into the warmth of his hand. A soft chuckle escaped his lips as you settled your chin back over his thigh, sighing in content. Your eyes were fluttering closed when he spoke up again. “Are you sure you’re okay down there?”

A soft hum was your only response as you shuffled closer to him, finally giving in and wrapping your arms around his calf; he tensed for a moment and you were just about to unravel yourself from him again when he relaxed before a large hand found it’s place atop your head. You could practically feel yourself melt into him as he began to card his fingers through your hair, another soft hum escaping your lips in content as his nails scratched along your scalp. Chuckling softly, he leaned back toward him set up and reached for his mic, the hand in your hair still carding slowly through your locks causing you to shiver every so often when his rings ran along your skin.

“Hey, sorry, (Y/N) just needed to ask me something.” You giggled softly as he lied right through his teeth to his stream-mates. It was harmless though, just a little funny; you couldn’t hear them anyway. Even if you could though, all you could focus on was the hand running continuously over your head despite the game starting up again.

“Nah just what I want to eat, we can literally never decide what to have…” His words trailed off of your focus as your body relaxed even further into his. The soothing motion of his hand beginning to lull you to sleep no matter how much you tried to fight it off. His thumb began to run along the cheek that wasn’t smushed against his thigh as you floated in and out of consciousness, his touch so gentle you’d begin to think you’re made of glass. You could barely make out his mumbled words as his soft touches finally plunged you in the depths of sleep.

“Sweet dreams, princess”

•••

When your eyes fluttered open again they were immediately met with pitch black, which would’ve startled you if not for the solid form resting halfway on top of your body; your mouth pulling into a wide grin as you felt the slow breaths of your person warm the crook of your neck. Reaching toward your nightstand, you pat around blindly until your hand lands on your phone— as much as you didn’t want to move, you didn’t know how much time has passed since you had joined Corpse in his office. Squinting as the light from your phone flooded the room, you quickly turned down the brightness before looking at the time, confirming that you definitely didn’t have anywhere to be for at least the next few hours.

However, as you continued to stare down at your phone you began to scroll through the seemingly never-ending mentions, you only became more and more confused. Finally biting the bullet and tapping on one it immediately opened your screen to Corpse’s Instagram— but more importantly, a picture of you.

There you were, completely relaxed face smushed against his thigh as you slept soundly, but that wasn’t all. That signature hand had taken it’s place carding through your hair just as he did to lull you to sleep. Your heart was already fluttering as you stared at the photo on your screen but you think it might’ve stopped as your eyes caught the caption.

corpsehusband: “sleepy angel”

•••

@.valkyrae: was this during the stream? omg corpse you liar

@.sykkuwu: u guys are so cute

@.jacksepticeye: SIMP

@.bretmanrock: jealous 🙄 corpse baby i thought we had something

@.tinakitten: okay loverboy

•••

hey guys long time no see! i was gonna make a post abt why i was gone for so long but i think that’d be overkill. i’m okay now and i’m very excited to keep writing for you!

i think i’m gonna branch out to other fandoms as well but idk yet. i’m working through the requests in my inbox rn so i’m gonna do those first. gonna open up drabble requests too!

okay that’s it! thanks for reading as always, let me know what u think down below or in my asks! love you guys, hope you’re doin well <3

#peachyrequests #corpse husband x reader #corpse x reader #corpse husband x you #corpse x you #corpse imagine #corpse husband imagine

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dollslayer · 4 years ago

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Botanical Interest - Thorns

Soft!Mob!Steve Rogers x reader

Summary: After dating the notable mobster Steve Rogers for a couple months you think you’ve got him figured out. An altercation in an alley leaves you questioning whether or not that’s true.

W/C: 1995

Warnings: Violence, angst, fluff, swearing

A/N: Holy smokes! I am completely overwhelmed by the love that the first part to this story has received. Obviously, I couldn’t help myself so I wrote a part 2 also as an entry for @stargazingfangirl18 ‘s 5k soft dark challenge! Using the Mob!Au and the dialogue prompt “Oh, Honey, you weren’t supposed to see that”.

If you want you can check out part one here and my other mob fic here! Cheers!

Botanical Interest Masterlist I Main Masterlist

______________________________ 6pm was fast approaching as you began to close up shop for the day. Steve was here to pick you up for dinner and much to your embarrassment walked in on you having a very difficult conversation argument with a very difficult customer over pricing and promotion. Having run your small business on your own for years you knew how to hold your own but you completely froze when you saw Steve enter the shop out of the corner of your eye.

“I- listen Mr. Andersen, I appreciate all the business that your venues have given me but I can’t afford a raise in advertising prices right now. I’ve been reliable and trustworthy and I’ve always treated your venues with respect. I’ve never been an issue for you, please don’t raise the rate. Wedding season is coming up and I need the exposure.”

You tried to bargain with him quietly, hoping the music overhead would prevent Steve from hearing but it was a low volume and a small shop. You’ve only been dating for a couple months. You didn’t want to embarrass yourself in front of him, especially not at work.

Mr. Andersen exhaled sharply. You could tell he was annoyed at you for the pushback. “Look, I’m sorry but we can’t be making exceptions every time a business owner comes groveling.”

Tears stung your eyes, you really did generate a lot of business through Andersen’s venues. They listed you as one of their recommended vendors to their clients, it’s been huge for you. Knowing that Steve was there made this even worse. “If I’d have known you were going to cry like this I would’ve just done it over email I mean really-”

“That’s enough.” Steve cut him off before he could humiliate you any further. He sent a quick text and shoved his phone back in his pocket before pulling himself to his gull height and squaring his shoulders. “You’ve done enough, now get out.”

A scoff from Andersen and a harsh glare directed towards you and he was on his way out of the building. Steve’s phone vibrated but he didn’t check it. Instead he walked over to you and extended his arm to rub your back.

“Are you okay? That guy was a total fucking prick to you, you don’t deserve that.” Steve consoled you. He seemed calmer than you expected for having just witnessed something like that. You’ve seen him agitated but never upset. Maybe he was restraining himself for you but it didn’t matter, you appreciate him being there for you.

“I’m fine, I just need to finish closing up shop and we can get to dinner. Just give me a minute” you said as you began to sweep up.

“Alright, sweetheart. I’m double parked so I’m gonna go to the car and try to find a space.” You nodded as hummed along to the music.

____________________________

As Steve left the shop he pulled his phone out and checked his text from Thor ‘we got him’. When Steve heard that man talk to you like that he knew you didn’t want him to threaten Andersen and make the situation worse. You were already on the verge of tears so he decided to ask one of his men to hold Andersen out back where he could have a few words with him.

Stepping around the corner into the alley behind your shop he took off his jacket and rolled up his sleeves. He needed to be quick so you wouldn’t find out. He didn’t want to upset you further, he just wanted this guy to know that you can’t treat his girl like that. And maybe he could be talked into giving her the advertising for free.

“So you think you can talk to my girl like that huh?” He questioned. Andersen looked like Thor had already punched him once in the process of restraining him. Thor’s hold on Andersen’s arms tightened.

Andersen was scared, but not scared enough to Steve’s liking. Before Andersen had the opportunity to answer Steve cocked his fist back and launched it directly to Andersen’s jaw. “Shit! I’m sorry, I didn’t know. We’re expanding and we need the money so I have to raise-”

Before the excuse could be finished Steve hit him again. “Stop! Please!” Andersen begged.

Steve chuckled. “No I don’t think I will. I can’t just let people go every time they grovel to me. They’d never learn.” Another punch landed.

“You’re not gonna raise your prices for her. In fact, you’re gonna call her up in a couple days and apologize by offering her advertising free of charge for all of your venues. Do you understand?” Steve asked coolly.

Andersen coughed up some blood. “I- I can offer her half price but I can’t just waive the cost like that!”

“Not good enough.” Steve punched him even harder, Andersen was nearly knocked out. Steve thought about the tears that slipped from his girl’s eye and couldn’t stop himself. He struck Andersen one more time with a growl and his head hung limp between his shoulders. Just then he heard the sound of shattering glass behind him and froze, hand still in a fist.

_____________________________________

Finally done with most of your tasks all you had to do was take out the garbage and empty the vase of leftover stems from bouquets into the dumpster. You opened the back door just in time to see Steve land a brutal punch to Mr. Andersen’s cheekbone. Mr. Andersen’s head fell and it was clear he had been knocked out cold.

You hadn’t even realized you’d dropped the vase until you felt the shards fall around your feet. You couldn’t look away when Steve looked up at you with wild eyes, you’d never seen him so angry. You felt the way you did the day you met him. Nervous and frozen in place.

His face instantly fell and through his heavy breathing said “Oh, honey, you weren’t supposed to see that.” He was trying to relax his features as he approached you but you could only take steps back and into the shop like a scared animal being cornered.

Your heart was hammering in your chest and you couldn’t tell if you were more angry or scared. You held your hands out in front of you and stammered “I’d better.. I need to lock up shop I’ll um, I’ll go”. “Sweetheart wait!” Too late. You shut the back door and locked it behind you.

You went to your back office and sat down, not even sure where to go from here with this. You two had talked about his work a bit, it wasn’t like it could be avoided forever, you just didn’t think he’d bring it into yours. You weren’t scared of Steve doing something like that to you, you were scared of that look in his eyes. His capability of doing something like that with little thought.

Oh, God, what does this mean for the shop? Mr. Andersen will have you blacklisted. He’ll tell every wedding planner in Brooklyn. Now your heart was hammering for a whole other set of reasons. Too busy spiraling as you thought about it all you didn’t hear the bell of the front door ring.

A knock on your open office door pulled you out of it and you looked up to find Steve. He wore what looked like a truly regretful expression on his face. You fought the urge to yell at him. You’re an adult, you’re going to talk about this like adults. Let him say his piece.

He had straightened up, his hands were clean and his jacket was back on. He gave a heavy sigh. “Sweetheart, I don’t even know where to begin. I’m sorry you had to see that side of me, but I want you to know I would never ever do anything like that to you or anyone close to you. I only want what’s best for you.”

“And that’s punching one of my main sources of income?” You snapped. You appreciated the apology but you were getting too worked up in anger thinking about the future of the shop.

He was a little miffed at the outburst and became defensive. “That man disrespected you, disrespected your work. No one talks like that to my girl. That’s how we settle things in my world!”

“Well you’re not in your mob world right now you’re in mine! And things don’t get handled like that! Do you have any idea the toll that could take on my business? He’s gonna have me blacklisted by the end of the day if he wakes up.” The last words came out a bit broken as you felt more tears build. You were more worried about the business than anything.

Steve walked around the desk to console you just like he had not twenty minutes ago. He gently put a hand on your forearm. “You’re right. It’s not my world, it wasn’t my call to make and I had no right to react like that. I didn’t even think about that. The way he was talking to you, I just.. I got so mad. You work so hard and you don’t deserve that. Sometimes I forget there’s more than one way to handle things.”

Okay, that went better than expected. This is what made Steve so interesting to you. Steve was funny and sweet and charming as hell, but beyond all that there was this tender heart. He was dangerous but he was also fiercely loyal. He was more than a mobster and he was better than the brute force he used. It’s why you were able to accept that part of him, because it wasn’t his entire life, it didn’t consume him.

“Thank you for saying that,” You said quietly. You looked up to him and could tell that he really did feel bad. “I accept your apology and I appreciate it. But you have to make things right with Mr. Andersen. I’ll pay the new rate but you have to apologize before it’s too late.”

_________________________

Steve was beginning to harbor resentment towards himself for fucking this up for you. Andersen just made him see red, he has such a hard time shutting that part of himself down. You work so hard and care so much there’s just no way he could let that stand. He just hoped to work through it and move on. He really didn’t wanna screw it up.

Steve was much more at ease knowing you accepted his apology. “I won’t like it but I can do that. It’s only fair. Can I make it up to you over dinner? We’ll make a quick stop to the hospital to set things straight with Andersen.” When you shut the door in his face in the alley he had Thor take him to the hospital. He’d call another town car to get home.

He’ll apologize to Andersen and pay the hospital bill, but you’re not paying the increased rate. No way. Steve will pay him off enough that he won’t be telling anyone about the altercation, either. Win-win in his eyes.

You leaned your head against his shoulder in slight exhaustion and nodded. “Can we forget the reservation? I really want breakfast food right now.”

A soft chuckle escaped his lips. “Of course sweetheart, you wanna get takeout and go back to mine?” He felt you nod. “Yes, please”.

“Let me just order a car and we’ll be on our way. I’m sorry again, sweetheart, I promise I’m gonna make it right even if that guy’s a douche.” You laughed a little bit and wiped the few tears that stayed in your eyes.

“So.... your girl, huh? Is that like some mob slang term I don’t know about? Are we official?”

A smile graced his lips. “I’d like to be, if you would.”

You smiled back at him. “I might be persuaded with waffles.”

#siris5ksoftdarkchallenge #Mob AU #mob!Steve rogers #mob!au #Mob!Steve rogers x reader #mafia!steve rogers #angst with a happy ending #fluff #angst #marvel fic #marvel au #mafia!au #steve rogers x reader #Soft!Mob!Steve Rogers

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