#i need to come up with proper names for the non prisoner characters in this family lol.

[da3drat]

Having sooooo fucking many thoughts and feelings about Lucis family drama rn god.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hi Steph! Any fics with Moran? Either as a prevalent side character or the main. If not, non-romantic Mycroft fics?

Hi Lovely!

Ah, for Mycroft, you can check out these list below for fics I've recced:

Mycroft Flirts With John

Mycroft Plays a Role in This Fic

Mycroft Plays a Role Pt. 2

Mycroft Plays a Role Pt. 3

Matchmaker Mycroft

Big Brother Mycroft

Big Brother Mycroft Pt 2

Big Brother Mycroft Pt. 3

Holmes Brothers’ Relationship

For Moran, I don't have many that I recall, so I did a tag/name search for MORAN on my lists. Check these out, and please add your own, friends if you have them!

======

MORAN IS IN THIS FIC

BOOKMARKS

I Will Take Care Of You by SailorChibi (T, 16,664 w., 15 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Sick Sherlock, BAMF John, BAMF Lestrade, Reunion Fic) – Two years after Sherlock's death, John comes to find him on the sofa. Wounded and ill, Sherlock is convinced he's hallucinating and refuses to share any details about Moran or the fact that Mycroft has been compromised. That doesn't stop John from stepping up and taking care of the last of Moriarty's web, BAMF-style.

The Lost Special: Family Matters (As Do Relationships) by ShirleyCarlton (M, 144,688 w., 40 Ch. || S4 Fix It Fic / Meta Fic, Unreliable Narrator, John’s Mind Bungalow, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Demisexual Sherlock, Holmes Family, John Whump, Gay Mycroft, Misunderstandings, Drug Addiction, Parenting, TFP is a Nightmare, Virgin Sherlock, Slow Burn, Minor Character Death, Switchlock, John’s Past, Sherlock’s Past, Eurus, Love Confessions) –Sherrinford is not really the name of some high security prison. That was just a figment of John’s frantic coma dream. And Eurus is not actually Sherlock’s sister. That’s just something random she said to John before shooting him. Sherlock and John were never actually estranged. That was just their act to cover up what really happened to Mary – or Rosamund Moran, as her real name has turned out to be. Sherlock does have a secret sibling, though, and his name is Sherrinford. After finally eliminating Moran – though in a rather dramatically different way than they had envisioned – and exposing the truth about Eurus, John encourages Sherlock to delve into his past and to find out whether the reasons to keep Sherrinford away from Sherlock were the right ones, and to discover what really happened in 1981. Along the way, Sherlock and John gradually, finally, stop keeping each other at a distance, and eventually become a proper family of their own.

Sherlock Holmes Live by emilycare (E, 488,496 w., 73 Ch. || Theatre AU || Immersive Theatre, Romance, Slow Burn, Fake / Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Bisexual John, Demisexual Gay Sherlock, Alternating POV, Falling in Love, Eventual Case Fic, Soft Sherlock, Panic Attacks, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with Happy Ending, Pining John) –  Down on his luck John Watson answers an advert for a paid role in an experimental play. Enter William Scott with a most unusual proposition: help him test run a two person immersive experience, oh and by the way there is sex and romance involved.

MARKED FOR LATER

I Didn't Know I How Much I Needed You by orphan_account (M, 4,270 +w., 3/? Ch. || WiP || Teen Ballet/Rugby High School AU || Ballet Dancer Sherlock, Rugby Player John, Gay Sherlock, Underage Sex, Graphic Violence, Teenage Drama, Blow Jobs, Anal/Oral, Spanking, Implied Past Child Abuse, Sexual Abuse, Drug Abuse, Prostitution, Sex Worker Sherlock, Pimp!Moran) – Sherlock is an orphaned boy raised by his abusive foster father. He's under the control of an over-bearing and cruel pimp, Sebastian Moran, who makes a lot of money off of Sherlock's ability to seduce anyone. Treated like a worthless whore, Sherlock feels loved for the first time when he meets John Watson, a rugby player with a hard life. The two boys are drawn to each other instantly and thus begins a beautiful relationship that neither of the boys have ever experienced before.

Curse of the Were-Tuna by WhoGroovesOn (E, 46,916 w., 9 Ch. || Were-Creature AU || Nudity, Aquariums, Fish, Body Horror, Curses, Cuddling, Romance, Transformations, Frottage, Anal, Fem! Moriaty/Moran, First Time) – John couldn’t help but feel as though the large tuna beyond the glass was staring at him, which was weird because it’s not like fish had eyelids, they always seemed to be staring at things.

Rust Red Skies by bakerstreetashtray (E, 73,597 w., 26 Ch. || Army/Military AU || MorMor) – Jim Moriarty is a newly qualified medic, uncertain about the job and heading out to Afghanistan to be posted out with a team. NEO Team, to be specific - headed by one, Captain Sebastian Moran. Working under impossible conditions in a volatile area, inexperienced with saving lives and recovering from a troubled childhood, the attention of the Captain is the last thing on Jim's mind. And yet, it might just become the first.

Between the Fall and the Creation by 7PercentSolution &  shelleysprometheus (E, 78,954 w., 23 Ch. || Angst, Betrayal, Case Fic, Trust, Revenge, Rebirth, Grief/Mourning, Alternating POV, Extortion, Entrapment, Blood and Torture, BAMF John, Twins, Suicidal Ideation) – However inconvenient. However improbable. Could be dangerous. SHJohn had stared at those two lines of text for far longer than was necessary. In seven words, in an instant, his life had both been given back to him and at the same time, altered irreparably. Of course, he had gone. Had he ever not followed wherever Sherlock had led? And he had watched, silent, still, gun pressed solidly to the back of Moran’s head as Sherlock had faced down Moriarty and Moriarty had … well, done the unthinkable. Not that he’s not grateful to the depths of his being for Sherlock’s return and Moriarty’s demise. He is just, well… most probably he is in shock. When Sherlock had ‘died’, John’s world had fallen apart. Cracked, shattered into pieces, been obliterated. And now that Sherlock is back, living, breathing, sitting calmly across from him in the living room of 221B, he is … numb, furious, deliriously happy and devastatingly betrayed—all at the same time. He’s fucked up in a hundred thousand different ways. And Sherlock ... The fact that their chairs now face the hearth rather than each other is an indication of just how large the gulf that has opened up between them really is. Part 4 of the Forethought and Fire series

Few Escape the Gallows by 7PercentSolution &  shelleysprometheus (E, 92,406 w., 26 Ch. || Grieving John, Case Fic, Angry Moran, Torture, Domestic Violence, Knife Play, Blood and Injury, BDSM, Sulking Sherlock, MorMor) – Sherlock is dead. Moriarty is free. And John is ... falling. What do you do when you have nothing to lose? Following on from A Dead Man's Money, this fic pits a grieving John Watson against an angry Sebastian Moran. Mycroft is scheming in the background and Moriarty is making mischief. And Sherlock ... ? Part 3 of the Forethought and Fire series

Fin de Siècle Series by Calais_Reno (M, 102,149 w. across 20 works || Victorian AU || Alternate First Meeting, Friends to Lovers, Alternating POV, Misunderstandings, Period-Typical Homophobia, Love Declarations, Grief/Mourning, Victorian Attitudes, Marriage of Convenience, True Love, Loneliness, Hurt/Comfort) – Holmes and Watson meet and commit themselves to one another, in spite of laws that make their relationship illegal. Holmes confronts Moriarty at Reichenbach hoping to end his influence in the government; he falls, but does not win. Moriarty's machine continues. While Holmes tries to make his way back to England, Watson, believing Holmes dead, suffers the consequences of their opposition to Sebastian Moran, Moriarty's successor. Finally reunited after several years, Holmes and Watson work to end the corruption that has taken over Britain's government.

We Will Survive by anny (M, 103,007 w., 21/25 Ch. || WiP || Viclock vs Johnlock, Past Viclock, Anal / BJ’s / Orgasms, Music, Jealousy, Case Fic, Social Media, Protective Mycroft, Pining John / Sherlock, Fluff, Weddings, Drug References, Drunkenness, Angst, Humour, Character Death) – After Reichenbach, Sherlock is back in London to face a new villain: Sebastian Moran. But he has to deal with John's new life with Mary Morstan, and he soon understands that things between them have changed. With the arrival of Victor Trevor in Sherlock's life, John will finally deal with his true feelings for Sherlock.....

[bookshelf-in-progress]

Writing excerpt asks: 2, 6, 10, 11, 12, 13

2. that makes me laugh

Beatrice's response to Beast's final marriage proposal in "A Day Late" always make me laugh, because it's so unlike the way that moment goes in other "Beauty and the Beast" retellings.

Behind her, Beast said weakly. “You’ll…marry me?” The cloak slipped from Beatrice’s arms, and she cursed under her breath. “Yes, you overgrown throw rug, but first you have to live long enough to do it.”

6. that i struggled with, but triumphed over

This was a hard one to answer, because most of the stories I struggle with never get finished.

But now I have an answer! "A Garden of Wishes", my 12 Dancing Princesses retelling, was supposed to be a quick, easy retelling of the fairy tale that ballooned into the longest non-Arateph retelling I've ever finished. The first part came easily, but that last act terrified me. Then I almost finished, but had issues with the progression of those final scenes, and worried that I'd need to overhaul the whole story, so I was too intimidated to finish, and left it sit for months.

Then, when I finally buckled down, I realized that, as long as I was committed to the 2nd-person POV, all I really had to do was edit a couple of scenes in that last act, and then write about 1,000 more words to finish it off. Whether it counts as a triumph or not is open to interpretation, but I'm glad to have finished.

10. with characters i struggle with

My "Rapunzel" retelling set on Arateph remains in perpetual stasis because although I love the plot, I can't get a proper handle on the characters. But here's a snippet from one of the many wildly different drafts that shows a bit of their situation.

Camreth asked, "Do you even look up from that desk when I’m not around?” “Of course I do.” “Rarely.” “That’s not a bad thing,” Zemma said. “I’m a tower scholar. I’m meant to focus on my work.” “And they keep you prisoner to do it.” Zemma’s jaw fell, but she was unable to speak, save for a horrified squeak of indignation. “I am not a prisoner! I can leave whenever I want!” “Prove it, he said, crossing his arms. “Come with me.” Zemma’s indignation melted beneath a jolt of surprise—halfway between jumping off a cliff and getting a naming day gift. “Come? Out…? Where?” His smile and his eyes grew bright with possibility. “What’s Snowmelt without a picnic? I know a perfect place. Not far from campus. I’ve been dying to show it to you.”

11. with characters i want to write more in the future

I wish I could figure out a way to make use of my pre-revolutionary Arateph characters and write more stories with them.

Here's a snippet of Marastel and Jemrauth's interaction after the moment at Jemrauth's coronation, when he used his chosen virtue name to declare his intention to stay loyal to the woman his father forbid him to marry.

Marastel couldn’t smile anymore. “Jemrauth,” she said. “Do you realize what you’ve done?” “In intricate and exhaustive detail,” he sighed. “Shall I repeat the full lecture, or stick to the highlights?” “Your father?” “If he weren’t such a slave to decorum, I think he’d have dragged me away by my hair. I didn’t take two steps off the stage before his guards steered me toward his study.” “Was he that angry?” “Does Common Tephan have a word stronger than ‘livid’?” “Jemrauth,” she sighed, half in sympathy, half in suffering. “Apparently,” he said, with jovial irony in the words, “I have dishonored the crown, made a mockery of the sacred practice of virtue naming, and failed to live up to my first virtue name of Verinen—because it seems that failing to inform one’s parent of every nuance of a chosen virtue name counts as lying now.” Marastel sank into her chair. “All because of me.”

12. that has a particularly good bit of characterization

You once pointed this out as a good piece of characterization of Jemrauth and Marastel, and now it's the only thing that comes to mind as the one point where I was a little bit clever with my characterization.

Marastel found Jemrauth seated in his broad-winged desk chair, examining one of the daily reports, his reading spectacles firmly in place. Marastel loved and hated those spectacles; they added a graceful touch of distinction to his face, but he never smiled when he wore them. The reports seldom held good news.

13. that helped me understand a character better

Letter XIX in "The True Story" unexpectedly turned into a moment where Ben explained his character and backstory in great detail. The whole thing helped me to understand him, but this is where it started.

You ask me why these books--and the phenomena surrounding their existence--matter so much to me. I can answer only by biography. Wright and Co. is a small, cluttered, dim, obscure shop--you could find a thousand used book stores like it anywhere in the world--but from a young age (the shop was owned by my uncle then) it seemed a place of unique enchantment. I would spend summer days racing among the stacks and losing myself in books. I grew more jaded and cynical as I aged--most teenagers do--but whenever I was in danger of becoming a disaffected youth, there was something about the shop that made me feel there was something more than the meaninglessness of everyday life. Learning about the miracle of the books felt like getting the answer to a question I hadn't realized I was asking. Here was proof there was something beyond the mundane and predictable. Something too wonderful for the human mind to understand. Some wondrous power cared enough about the patrons of this shop to help them get the right story in their hands at the right time--even if that story had never been written. Other books have authors and publishers, but these books seemed like a gift from the author of imagination itself.

[mengyao]

I made kind of a throwaway post yesterday about He Xuan's hypocrisy, and it prompted some discussion, so I cleaned it up a bit.

My intention with the original post wasn't so much to make claims about the specifics of what He Xuan's crimes against Ming Yi were or were not, as commenting on the fact that it annoys me when I see this dimension--the fact that Ming Yi had to foot the bill with his life for He Xuan's revenge--of He Xuan's character downplayed, because it adds more nuance to the story, and specifically the contrast between where he and Shi Qingxuan end up. Also I like it when my faves act badly.

Though the hows and wherefores are quite confusing due to the general incoherence of TGCF's timeline and backstory for reasons both intentional and non- on MXTX's part, I'm not really sure how one can get around the fact that He Xuan took Ming Yi's place in heaven against the latter's will. Some basic facts are:

1) In order to gain access to the Heavenly Capital, He Xuan impersonated a real god named Ming Yi, who was the genuine Earth Master, and

2) by the time we get to Black Water Arc proper, the real Ming Yi is dead, and so can't provide an account of what happened to him.

Whatever the specifics, I don't see a plausible explanation for how He Xuan could have intercepted Ming Yi between his calamity and ascension and talked Ming Yi into just... giving up on being able to go live in heaven under his own name, be celebrated for his accomplishments, have total freedom of movement, etc, without some level of coercion. Ming Yi doesn't know He Xuan. Ming Yi doesn't owe him shit, and was completely unrelated to the business with the Shis -- he was just convenient. Why would Ming Yi agree to go along with this of his own volition? I guess it's possible to come up with a scenario where He Xuan offers him a satisfactory compromise where He Xuan offers him... something? in exchange for all of this, and that could be a fun fanfic premise, but it involves a lot of extrapolation off of anything we're given in the text, because I don't see what He Xuan has to offer Ming Yi to make this anything but a loss for MY. He Xuan isn't needlessly violent, but he's capable of being less than morally spotless when it's justifiable to him -- he was keeping a bunch of random madmen prisoner on Black Water Isle in pretty deplorable conditions for god knows how long so he could use them as pawns, frex (more on them later). Kidnapping and/or imprisoning (even if that was a very loose, "you can come and go in the mortal world as you please, you just can't go to heaven/interact with heavenly officials/claim your work as that of the Earth Master, and need to keep things on the DL" kind of deal, which is the most generous explanation I can come up with, vs. something like Ming Yi being kept on indefinite house arrest in Nether Water Manor, which is more in line with what the novel implies IMO) one heavenly official as the necessary casualty to a very important part of He Xuan's master plan doesn't seem like a stretch for what we know of He Xuan's ethics and behaviour.

Original Ming Yi had his “rightful” (to whatever degree “being fated to an epic cosmic destiny” is actually something one “earns”/“deserves”, which I don’t think the book is uncomplicated about) position as a god and ability to live a free life as the Earth Master taken from him because He Xuan needed a cover in heaven. He Xuan doesn't need to have personally have killed the guy to have fucked up and usurped his life in a major way. Ming Yi had his ability to live a free life taken from him, or at least significantly impaired. On the scale of “bad shit people have done in TGCF” it’s not that bad, but it does make HX a hypocrite – we know that his and his family’s physical/material suffering isn’t the only thing he has an axe to grind about. Having his destiny stolen and given to SQX is part of it, too:

Without blinking once, he stared at Shi Qingxuan and spoke each word with clear enunciation and intent.

"Your little brother, an ordinary, common mortal, obtained the ability to ascend. His endless glory was plundered from my fate; he enjoyed my divinity. And you tell me that this has nothing to do with him?"

In the grand scheme of all of the violence that He Xuan could have done, it's really not much. But individual people's lives still matter, even people who are inconsequential to you, and your personal pain and suffering doesn't justify harm done to them, even if the harm could be a lot worse than it is. That's the angle most aligned with the novel's themes, which makes me inclined to lean that way even if the continuity details of getting there are fuzzy.

The fact that He Xuan experienced some degree of moral erosion (even if, again, it's not as bad as it could be) is important because He Xuan thought that with enough loss and suffering, Shi Qingxuan would end up just as bitter and compromised as he himself did. (Bolded emphasis mine.)

"Do you know who these people are? [...] Rotten fates. Contemptuous fortunes. Lives lower than an animal's. Fates that can drive a man mad," He Xuan explained.

and

Although Shi Qingxuan's original fate wasn't good enough to ascend, it was still a life filled with peaceful luxury and leisure. The madmen, on the other hand, were racked with disease and rotten sores and had been driven to madness by adversity. It was clear that every single one of them was ensnared by an absolutely wretched, miserable fortune. If Shi Qingxuan exchanged fates with any of them, wouldn't that mean he would fall into the same tragic state? Such fates would drive one to madness in and of themselves. He would suffer endless agony and torment from then after. [...] a common mortal suffering the most wretched of fortunes--how could [he] possibly keep living?

He Xuan devised this fate-swapping bit because he sees it as comparable to what happened to him -- the narrative establishes that nothing about the confrontation with the Shis is out of balance with the suffering that Shi Wudu's actions have caused He Xuan ("If the motives behind this punishment were disregarded, then it was truly vicious." [I.e if they are regarded, it's justified -- and this is coming from Xie Lian's POV!]) Though the literal fate-swap doesn't happen, Shi Qingxuan is still left in a much worse set of circumstances from where he started out, and He Xuan's intention in offering him the Jigsaw trap options was for Shi Qingxuan to either become the means of He Xuan's bloody revenge, or to experience a "rotten fate" like the one that was foisted on He Xuan instead.

Though I doubt he thinks of himself in these terms, the description of a man driven mad by his rotten fate is reminiscent of... someone we know:

Shi Qingxuan looked up. His voice trembled. "Ming-xiong, I..."

"Shut up!" He Xuan shouted.

When Shi Qingxuan saw his near-savage expression, he shuddered and went silent. He Xuan whirled around and started pacing the hall of the Nether Water Manor, growling as he walked.

and

Shi Wudu laughed. [...] "Because I see you right now--so filled with rage, so filled with suffering, so filled with hate. You're grinding your teeth so hard you're crushing them. And yet you're still powerless to bring your family back! You're still nothing more than a ghost of the gutters. Be as angry as you want, they're long gone! [...]"

With the caveat that I can't read Chinese and can't compare with the original text (would be very interested to hear about the phrasing in the raws), the word choice in the 7S TL seems to draw a through-line between He Xuan's madmen, He Xuan himself, and the future that is to come for Shi Qingxuan.

So, while He Xuan never comes right out and says "Now you, too, will become corrupted by your trauma just like me," that reading is in line with what the novel gives us.

Another piece of evidence here is the weapon He Xuan gives Shi Qingxuan to kill Shi Wudu with: a rusty knife that couldn't make a clean mercy kill. We learn in the Bloody Fire Social chapter that after Scholar He snapped, he "hacked [the offending people] to pieces"/"butchered" them (depending on the translation), and I believe that the actor playing Scholar He that the gang sees in the parade is using a knife. By 124, He Xuan is contriving circumstances that he thinks will bring Shi Qingxuan down to his level in one way or another.

Though most of his ire is directed at Shi Wudu, the times when He Xuan really goes off the chain during the big confrontation--such as the line where he shouts at Shi Qingxuan, when otherwise throughout the scene He Xuan is described as cold and removed--are when he's forced to engage with Shi Qingxuan's innocence and naivete. Everything about this pursuit of revenge would be easier if he hadn't given Shi Qingxuan so many outs, which he wouldn't have done if Shi Qingxuan was a willing collaborator in Shi Wudu's crime. The fact that Shi Qingxuan was able to benefit from He Xuan's suffering without even having to bear the guilty knowledge, and thereby not deserving a straightforward and decisive punishment like Shi Wudu, is deeply frustrating to him, both because it makes things more difficult for himself in seeking his revenge and because it's yet another way in which Shi Qingxuan got to benefit from the way things worked out--she got the benefits of the fate-swap and a clean conscience, too. Both of the options that He Xuan offers Shi Qingxuan have the intended end result of Shi Qingxuan losing their privileged and sheltered state of innocence, in some way--either through becoming a killer or experiencing a fate so bad it will corrode their spirit.

Needless to say, becoming disabled and unhoused and losing the ability to change forms and witnessing his only family member decapitated before his eyes etc all fail to sever Shi Qingxuan from his core convictions and values. The people around him might think he's a madman for wandering around claiming to be a former god, but we know he's not. More importantly, he has friends and community. Not exactly mad with rage or "living lower than an animal" (which, rude)!

TL;DR He Xuan is interesting because he retains certain principles and moral lines but has also made choices as part of his revenge quest that involve perpetuating some of the same harms that were done to him in the first place. I think that he was able to rationalize this as an inevitable outcome of his suffering, with the proof being that the only reason straightforwardly "good" people like Shi Qingxuan are able to exist is because they haven't known true suffering. But he's wrong! Sucks! Hope this doesn't have any lasting impact on your sense of self and understanding of the universe's moral logic!

[justanotherniky]

Welcome to another one of my shitpost reviews! - Visual Prison edition

Just finished watching Visual Prison with @fullmetalgirl98​, um. What in the name of LOST EDEN did I just watch?

Fair warning, scroll past this if you don’t want spoilers for Visual Prison. Does it count as a spoiler if I have no idea what the hell I’m talking about? Dunno.

ANGE.

Point of discussion number one: the characters. Other than a very select few, It felt like the different characters were just... plopped in there, without any real proper characterization or development. They exist, sometimes they do stuff, that’s all. Guil is probably the only kind-of-decently built character in the story... sure, weirdly built, but at least he’s built. Also he’s handsome and dubbed by Makoto Furukawa, sue me. The protagonist is just stupid. It’s not new, to be fair, a lot of shounen protagonists are not on the bright side. But Ange has no character arc. He just turns up, he likes to sing, he’s half vampire, boom done. Does he actually do anything throughout the anime? Not really. Most of the characters just didn’t have an actual role in the story. That’s kind of sad.

ASSES.

Remaining in the characters discussion zone, what the fuck is up with Dimitri and his nudist tendencies, I mean mate, not judgin’, but the neighbours gon’ be upset, ya know? It was a welcome laugh, though. I appreciate a good ass every now and then.

GAY.

Yep, even in Visual Prison, there’s no escaping the gays. Starting from the fruitiest fruit in the market - Mist, up to whatever Guilt and Yutaka had going on because that shit was not heterosexual, there’s a wide range of choices. I appreciated this, as I always do. Also some very nice non-binary representation (Eve ma boi). However, I am begging you, please don’t ship Guil and Ange. That’s weird as fuck. Please stop.

KETCHUP AND MAYONNAISE.

Someone needs to explain to me what the point of Carmilla’s character was. Her episode was probably supposed to be comic relief, but it was honestly just confusing and cringy. The whole “she wakes up to ketchup and falls asleep to mayonnaise” thing was ridiculous and I honestly don’t know how they came up with that idea. I was just... why. Why. Also, trying to make her relevant by calling her at the end of the season to ask her a question they pretty much already knew the answer to was... pointless. That conversation between her, Eve and Elizabeth had no reason to exist and lead to absolutely nothing. Why was she even there? *frantic shrugs*

LUKE, I AM YOUR FATHER

Now that I have done my rant about the characters, let’s move on to the “plot”. Well, Visual Prison doesn’t actually have a plot. It’s something you watch to have a good laugh at the nonsense, but don’t try understanding it - God knows you will fail. Before it was revealed that Guil was Ange’s vampire parent, at some point while on call with Anna @fullmetalgirl98​ I quoted Star Wars during one of their interactions and welp, Luke, I really am your father. Also what the fuck is up with Ange having three parents. Just let Guil and Yutaka be a happy gay couple and adopt a kid. No need for all this mess. *sigh*

CENTODIGIOTTOOOOOO

Lil meme up there for any Italians lurking around these parts. How did no one call an ambulance for Yutaka and his wife when they saw them bleeding out on the street like that? Why? How?? Ah yes, just a regular evening in Tokyo. The streets are bustling, the shops are full, food’s cooking, and oh that’s a couple of bodies on the ground, no biggie, same shit as always. Not even Guil thought of it? You see your friend (ahem, boyfriend, ahem) bleeding on the ground and what, nip nip bite bite? Mate, I get it, vampire, but get it together for a sec.

To add to the list of weird, incomprehensible things: why did they use CGI for the music video scenes? That was so unnatural and weird to switch to, also probably a lot of extra work for a result that... doesn’t work and just looks bad. The swords coming out of their arms? Um, okay? No. (hehe they took out their swords hehe no it’s not a euphemism. Unless it’s Dimitri, then it applies either way) Guil coming out of his coffin fully clothed and made up, ready for the performance, when he was literally on the brink of death until a second before? Um, was not expecting vampire zombies.

So yeah, overall, I didn’t like Visual Prison, but I rather did enjoy watching it. Honourable mention to the music - both the songs and the soundtrack - because that was killer. Some real good stuff.

Do I recommend this anime? No. Or rather, not if you’re looking for a story to follow and characters to get attached to. If you just want a laugh, to relax and stop thinking, go ahead, this is for you. I warned you about the asses though.

[revenge-of-the-shit]

Have you see The Mandalorian? If so can i ask your opinion about it wrt Chinese rep? I've read your post about the Bad Batch and it seems like Dave Filloni is really keen on portraying east asians as evil, seeing as out of the 4 east asian coded characters in Mando, 2 of them are just immoral and evil aliens given straight up chinese names, and a dictator who specifically is shown to be oppressing her own people. And not to mention the dictator is also not given any back story or character development and is just one dimesional, while the other white ex imperial, mayfeld, gets a whole redemption arc and shown to be a complex character who actually feels bad for what he has done in the past and gets off scott free. This is something that i haven't really seen anyone talk about in terms of sinophobia in star wars, usually they'd mention the Ming Po and i want to talk about it, but i do want to get asecond opinion.

Hey mysteriouslypleasantcat! I have seen The Mandalorian. I've got some thoughts about East Asian/SE-Asian portrayal in the show (and not just Chinese rep). Apologies for replying late to this, but I wanted to give you a longer and more thought-out answer as opposed to a short impulsive one.

General summary: In comparison to the rest of the Star Wars Saga, The Mandalorian does significantly better when it comes to representation of East Asian and Southeast Asian characters. There is very little I would classify specifically as sinophobia in The Mandalorian - rather, much of the issues in this show fall under the overarching issues of racism and lack of proper representation that permeate not just the entire saga but Western media as a whole.

What will be discussed in this post:

Xi'an, Qin, and Lang - the "othering" of Chinese names in the context of the SW Saga appropriating names from non-white cultures.

Morgan Elsbeth - An example of the need for better Southeast Asian representation in Western media.

Fennec Shand - A bad example of representation turned into a great one.

Carson Teva, Governor Wing, and Sash Ketter - Wonderful examples of good representation in minor characters

--------------

More detailed thoughts under the cut:

Names: Xi'an, Qin, Lang

The thing about these characters is that it follows a larger trend in the Star Wars Saga of taking (read: appropriating) names from various non-white cultures. As an example, Ahsoka's name was stolen from Ashoka the Great, an Indian emperor of the Maurya Dynasty.

As for Xi'an, Qin, and Lang, these three one-time appearance characters - all antagonists against Mando - all three of them have heavily anglicized (i.e. mispronounced) Chinese names but are portrayed by non-Chinese actors. All three are shown to be of dubious morality and double-cross Mando without much hesitation.

That being said, there is no shortage of other minor/recurring characters who also do this (e.g. the majority of the cast in The Prisoner; Bo-Katan; Toro Calican; Gor Koresh). There's literally nothing inherently wrong with having devious minor antagonists. However, Xi'an, Qin, and Lang are the only ones with Chinese names within the whole show (correct me if I'm wrong here, I haven't seen the episodes in a while). In a sense, this creates a small sense of alienation to me (e.g. implying that Chinese names are associated with double-faced villains), but it's twisted because the names are so heavily anglicized they've become a warped version of themselves.

Overall, the main issue is that (1) their names are appropriated and (2) they are the only characters with specifically Chinese names within all of The Mandalorian and they are only portrayed as devious, self-serving antagonists. In doing so, it effectively others people who have Chinese names - but also serves the odd effect of not associating Chinese names with Chinese people - by having the audience associate such names with devious, one-dimensional villains.

However, I will add that in the grand scope of things regarding the entire saga, this is relatively minor. As a Chinese person with a Chinese name, this really didn't bother me that much beyond being a minor annoyance (but other Chinese fans are well within their rights to be bothered - this is just my personal opinion). I myself latched onto Fennec Shand and honestly just straight-up forgot the names of most minor characters, including these ones, and looked them up again. On top of that, there's many other minor characters played by East Asian actors. There's other larger issues within the saga and this specific instance is just one very small sample within a much, much larger issue of cultural appropriation.

Character (Antagonist): The Magistrate/Morgan Elsbeth

Morgan Elsbeth is portrayed by Diana Lee Inosanto, who is of South-East Asian (specifically Filipino) descent. As you noted, she is seen as a one-dimensional dictator and is portrayed with a cold-hearted ruthlessness. She's given some backstory (survivor of a massacre) but it's just a one-off line that gives very little to characterization.

The episode she appears in is directly inspired by Kurosawa films. The architecture of her fortress is very obviously inspired by Japanese architecture. But you know who and what else are inspired by Japanese culture? The Jedi. Ahsoka's own costume and sabers are also directly inspired by Japanese culture in this very episode.

Both George Lucas and Dave Filoni have been very clear about the inspiration from Kurosawa films. They've always given credit to those films (they also specifically mention The Hidden Fortress for this episode, I believe), so I don't think this is a case of them stealing it without giving credit.

Also - if there's anybody who's non-Force-sensitive that can hold their own against Ahsoka, it's the goddaughter of Bruce Lee.

Anyway, I digress. Back to Morgan Elsbeth.

There's nothing wrong with having a one-dimensional villain. There's also nothing inherently wrong with having an Asian villain. Asians are human, and we've got good people and bad people. However, the problem comes if the villain is the ONLY Asian representation. Star Wars has an issue where it will put more and more LGBTQ+ and BIPOC representation on the side of the antagonists and morally grey characters (Terisa Kerril, Rae Sloane, Varko Grey), but less so on the very good side. That isn't to say there aren't morally good protagonists that are POC-coded (e.g. Ahsoka, Kanan, Ezra, many characters in Resistance), but there's still a rather large imbalance.

Back to Morgan Elsbeth. The fact is, she isn't the only East/SE-Asian representation in Star Wars or even this show. The characters I'll discuss right after this - Fennec Shand, Carson Teva, Governor Wing & Sash Ketter - are all examples of good representation. Hell, Fennec makes even more of an impact than Elsbeth. So, if you're looking at this purely from the perspective that Elsbeth is indeed East-Asian-coded, I don't think she'd count as bad representation for East Asians.

HOWEVER.

It is true that Elsbeth the only prominent character played by a Southeast Asian actress in The Mandalorian, and she is surrounded predominantly by East Asian architecture and costuming. So this would fall into a problem common to western media in general: the lack of proper Southeast Asian representation specifically, and this larger tendency to just assume that Asia = just East Asia when really, Asians are incredibly diverse and are made up of far more than just Chinese/Korean/Japanese people.

Will they bring her back for a redemption arc like they did for Bill Burr? I don't know. Do they need to? I don't know. It'd sure be nice. But not all villains need a redemption arc. If they go the other way and make her a complex villain, I'm certainly interested.

But what they need isn't a redemption arc for one character. What we need is better Southeast Asian representation in general. Star Wars treated Rose Tico like shit and was terrible in every way to Kelly Marie Tran. As for Disney, Raya and the Last Dragon was something, but for fuck's sake, most of the cast were East Asian. They couldn't even bother to cast more Southeast Asian actors? Please. East Asian cultures and Southeast Asian cultures are different and beautiful in their own unique way.

Character (Recurring) : Fennec Shand

In Season 1, the character of Fennec Shand fell into the problem that Western media as a whole tends to fall into: the villain is the only POC in the whole episode or film, and they're one-dimensional and easily overcome by our white protagonists.

But.

They brought her back. Unrealistic? Kind of. Star Wars seems to have this thing where they keep bringing back dead characters and making them better. They did this with Fennec, and I really love her character. She's badass, intense, and clearly as a strong personal honour code that she follows. Is she self-serving? Yeah, mostly. But if the situation demands it (e.g. Boba saving her, helping Mando out of debt to Boba), she will follow her own moral code and help them out of her own will. They did bring her back in The Bad Batch, and while I have many gripes with that show (including her design), they did certainly flesh out her personality and character. And best of all, it sure looks like she'll be getting a major part in The Book of Boba Fett. That show in itself is AAPI solidarity. I'm excited.

So, to summarize: she started off as a one-off not-so-great example of representation, but turned into a good example. I'm excited to see where her story will go.

Character (Cameo Recurring): Carson Teva

Portrayed by Korean-Canadian Paul Sun-Hyung Lee, Carson Teva makes a recurring appearance as one of the New Republic Pilots. It's pretty straightforward - he's shown as someone who's in the familiar and recognizable costumes that's reminiscent of the OT. The message is nice here: that Asians belong in the Rebellion/New Republic too, and that we're there alongside everyone else.

His role was a relatively minor one and seemed to be there mostly to set-up the now-cancelled/shelved Rangers of the New Republic. So - are they going to do anything more with his character? I don't know. I sure hope so. But as far as cameo recurring characters go, this was great to see.

Character (Cameos): Governor Wing & Sash Ketter

Nothing but good vibes here, honestly. Governor Wing was shown as a brave man put in a terrifying situation trying to do his best. He was a minor character - and as such had very little screentime - but the way he was portrayed was enough to make him stand out on his own without the need of Mando (nor Ahsoka) to characterize him. In The Jedi, he's shown to be ready to throw himself into danger to try and help his own people (despite knowing that it's a seemingly hopeless situation), and he's quick to react when there's a threat creeping up on Mando. As far as minor characters go, he's excellent. Amazing. No criticism here.

As for Sasha Ketter, she's portrayed by Deborah Chow and makes a brief appearance in The Prisoner. Like the two others who make a guest appearance - Dave Filoni and Rick Famuyiwa - this is just a brief cameo appearance on the part of the showmakers. They show up as pilots of the New Republic - they're noticeably framed as the good guys, with highly recognizable orange pilot uniforms and X-Wings that takes audiences back to the Rebellion in the OT.

As far as I'm concerned, these two cameos are pretty neat. Nothing wrong with them, and they both made me feel pretty happy. I would love to see more of them, but given how both are portrayed by people who aren't actors by profession (Wing Tao Chao was a former Disney Imagineering Executive and Deborah Chow is a director), it's completely understandable if they stay as they are - minor cameo roles.

--------

Overall, could be better, could be worse. There are both good and bad examples of representation in this show, and I think while it's extremely important to acknowledge the bad, it's also important to point out the good too.

In regards to the bad - I wouldn't put what I've discussed here under the term of sinophobia specifically. Rather, the issues within the show fall under the general umbrella of problems of racism that are interwoven within the very fabric of the Star Wars Saga (and American media in general). In comparison to other shows (such as TCW and TBB especially), The Mandalorian is a better when it comes to these issues of East/SE-Asian representation.

I'm open to any constructive feedback. Anything else - kindly save it. I'm in no way representative of the entire East Asian or Southeast Asian portion of the fanbase - my opinions are just mine. I am not and never will be the final authority on these. Read this with a grain of salt, do your own research, and come to your own conclusions.

Take care, and MTFBWY.

[thealexchen]

One Year On: Life is Strange 2 Critique

December 3rd, 2020 marks a year since Life is Strange 2 ended. I was inspired by @smitethepatriarchy‘s text posts (here, but there are several other answered asks worth reading) and @suhaplays’s text post (here) criticizing Life is Strange 2 to write a critique about how Life is Strange 2 handled certain themes and social issues.

(tw: gun violence, police brutality, animal death, incarceration, racism. In this essay, I use the word “queer” in a reclaimed sense, as a queer person myself. Of course, spoiler warning for all five episodes of Life is Strange 1 and 2).

A year on, my feelings about this game have soured... a lot. When the game was first announced, I was overjoyed that our new protagonists would be two Latino boys. Finally, we would have a culturally meaningful, groundbreaking video game with people of color and their experiences at the forefront! 

Then the game was met with immediate backlash and I utterly exhausted myself defending it for weeks on Reddit and Tumblr. Throughout 2019, as the episodes came out I became increasingly disillusioned, frustrated, and disappointed with where the story was going. I couldn’t figure out why I felt so damn miserable while playing this game.

Then in the summer of 2020, when Tell Me Why began rolling out pre-release material, I noticed that they posted a Q&A about transphobia, gave content warnings, and discussed at length about their collaboration with GLAAD, Checkpoint, and the Huna Heritage Foundation to make the game with sensitivity and proper research. I cannot speak for trans and gender non-conforming people on whether Dontnod succeeded at doing so with Tell Me Why. But Life is Strange 2 did… none of that.

Essentially, I realized that the reason why I was so frustrated with LiS2 is because it focuses way too heavily on a trauma narrative. This comes off as insensitive to players of color without any content warnings or extensive research.

Sean didn’t have to get kidnapped, kicked in the face, and called a racial slur by a gas station owner. Daniel did not need to watch his puppy get mauled by a mountain lion for the sake of a “difficult choice.” Sean didn’t have to lose his eye for the sake of heightened drama. Sean didn’t need to get called a racial slur and humiliated by his native language/beaten in the desert for refusing to sing. Daniel didn’t need to get shot— twice. Hell, all of “Faith” probably could’ve been cut— how is a church cult that brainwashes Daniel and beats Sean half to death relevant at all to the story?

Even if not all of the game’s violence was racially motivated, the consistent trauma that Sean and Daniel endure does not make for positive representation— or even good characterization. There is a difference between sympathetic characters and well-written characters, and trauma does not make Sean and Daniel any more complex or likable-- just more fucking traumatized.

LiS2 is more grounded in reality, but that also makes plot holes that much harder to excuse (Daniel’s powers being spotted, most of the Parting Ways ending, Sean’s prison sentence). But most of all, it grounds all of Sean and Daniel’s pain and trauma in reality. 

There is no magicking away a town-destroying storm with time travel. Sean can’t keep his dad alive by ripping up a Polaroid. After Max unlocked her powers, she was still a Blackwell student, reconnecting with Chloe, taking photos, saving lives, and uncovering a murder mystery. After Daniel unlocked his powers, the Diaz brothers lost everything. 

The game never lets you forget that Sean and Daniel are homeless, wanted, constantly in danger, and that they are never getting their old lives back. It permeates the entire game, and for players of color, just reinforces a sad, miserable, grim reality about living in the United States. It is, as @smitethepatriarchy said, potentially triggering for players of color, and it is certainly not something I needed to be reminded of.

And the representation of POC? It feels shallow and ill-researched. It would only take a Google search to find out that Dia de Muertos (a holiday to honor the dead, no less) was from October 31 to November 2 in 2016, the year the game takes place, but Daniel only talks about Halloween in episode 1. Sean and Daniel never discuss any Mexican customs, foods, or holidays. Sean doesn’t speak Spanish with his immigrant father, only during a scene when he’s traumatized (again!) by two racists, and again when talking to Mexican immigrants— in jail. Daniel doesn’t speak Spanish at all. Most of their allies throughout the game are white, including Finn and Cassidy, who appropriate Black culture with their dreadlocks.

So what’s left? Sean and Daniel’s existence as people of color is, at worst, just a narrative prop to justify everything that happens to them. They are people of color on the surface only. In a meta-sense, the game only considers the color of their skin and their last names as what is narratively important… yikes.

I don’t have anything against people who genuinely loved the game and were moved by its messages and story. But I can’t help but feel bitter that white players have the luxury of only thinking of this game as a work of fiction and not feeling any personal reliability to Sean and Daniel’s racialized trauma.

I don’t regret playing LiS2, but I do regret all the time and energy I spent defending it in the beginning. I understand now that I shouldn’t let people’s opinions get to me, nor should I feel obligated to like or defend a game for its attempts at representation. But now, I think I understand how queer fans must have felt in late 2015 when Polarized released. After following the game for 10 months, to see that Chloe’s ultimate destiny was to die and Pricefield is another ship plagued by the Bury Your Gays trope (in the ending that the devs clearly put more work into) must have been just as disillusioning and infuriating. I understand why some fans were so quick to unfollow LiS or develop mixed feelings about the series, because that’s how I feel too after following LiS2’s development from September 2018 to December 2019.

Before I end, I will admit that Life is Strange 2 arrived at a time when I needed it. I still stand by my belief that DN did a great job characterizing Sean, Daniel, and Chris without toxic masculinity, which is the best thing they could’ve done for a male-focused follow-up to a game about queer women. I love that Sean is still a canonically bisexual man of color in a major video game and that DN didn’t forget their queer audience. I love the world and characters that DN built, but I still prefer AU fanfictions of their normal lives, without all that trauma. 

So, I will continue to treasure Lyla and her 10 minutes of screentime (aka the only shred of Asian American representation I can get from this series). I still reblog LiS2 fanart to support the artists. I still support Dontnod, because as Tell Me Why has shown, they are capable of researching and writing stories with more sensitivity. And let’s be honest-- I’m still gonna be hella excited if Life is Strange 3 is announced.

But so many aspects of Life is Strange 2 were bungled that it came off as a remarkably average and forgettable experience. A year on, I don’t hate Life is Strange 2, but I am writing this to move on from it.

Thank you for reading.

[jq37]

The Royal Report– A Crown of Candy Ep 1

There Is Strength in Sweetness 

Much like the years, the seasons of D20 start coming and they don’t stop coming. Fantasy High: Sophomore Year is barely in the record books and we’re already jumping into our new season--the Game of Thrones/Candyland mashup: A Crown of Candy!

If y’all have been with me since Sophomore Year then you know that I did very in depth recaps of every episode with a very specific format but I’m gonna try something new for this season.

The format might change a little between episodes as I figure out what works best so bear with me but the plan is to do more highlights and opinions than a blow by blow. But, like, we’ll see what happens.

So, anyway, saddle up your Meep and let’s visit Candia--one of the six kingdoms of the land of Calorum (aka: a fridge. We see you Brennan, it’s a fridge). Twenty years ago, the Ravening Wars wreaked havoc but they’re currently in a time of peace which (mostly) everybody is psyched about.

Meet the Family

This is not a new observation but, while most seasons of Fantasy High focus on found family, this season is all about family-family, specifically, the royal family of Candia and their associates. 

We’re first introduced to Murph’s character--Sir Theobald Gumbar (Level 3 Eldritch Knight)--who is the a huge, golden-armored, gummy bear, leader of the Tartguard, protector of the royal family, and the logical endpoint of Murph’s lawful good predilections. Sir Theo is, of course, on time with bells on for the big Saint’s Day/Coming of Age birthday party for the twin princesses of House Rocks. Unfortunately, he’s clearly never seen The Little Mermaid because when the heralds announce the princesses, they don’t show up. Frustrated, he goes to try and find them.

The first place he checks is with Zac’s character, Chancellor Lapin Cadbury (Level 3 Celestial Warlock). He is (in no particular order) the royal tutor, a chocolate bunny, an official of the main state sanctioned church of Calorum (the Bulbian Church), and a pompous ass. Oh, one more thing? He and Theobald can’t stand each other. There is nothing funnier than two very proper grown men who hate each other's guts. Sir Theo shows up to his classroom where the princesses are having a lesson--or at least they’re supposed to be. Further inspection shows that they’ve just left two straw dummies in their place. Classic.

So, we pan out to the city to meet my favorite characters so far (I absolutely play favorites but I also disclose when I’m doing it so I think I’m in the clear) the twin princesses/chaos gremlins--Jet and Ruby Rocks (both level 1 Rogues) played by Emily and Siobhan. Theo may not have seen The Little Mermaid but the twins have def seen Aladdin, because their number one pastime seems to be escaping the palace to roam the city--hilariously illustrated when they chuck a gem into a peasant's bag and his reaction is a super nonplussed, “Guess the princesses escaped again.” They’re got the Disney Princess-itis really bad because both of them feel stifled by palace life and want more--specifically, Jet wants to be a warrior and resents having been born in peacetime (especially since she’s slightly older and in line for the throne) and Ruby wants to run off and join the circus as an acrobat. They are total twin BFFs to the point that their Thieves Cant has been reskinned to Twinspeak which is a detail I love so much (and that will become unspeakably tragic if something happens to one of them Brennan). 

Jet gets a letter from her secret crush Thad, an Avocado from Fructera (these are the sentences I am being forced to write this season folks) and schemes with Ruby about how they can get to Comida (the capital city) to meet him--possibly by sweet talking Theobald which is easy because he’s so thirsty for respect. Sure enough, Theobald and Lapin soon find them, following their path of destruction and the princesses are brought back to the castle.

Back at the castle, we’re introduced to Lou’s character--King Amethar Rocks (Level 3 Storm Herald Barbarian)--who is having a somber moment, surrounded by the statues of his four older sisters who died in the Ravening Wars, leading his reluctant taking of the throne. He’s interrupted by Lord Calroy (his right hand guy and a full ass talking slice of cake because Brennan is trying to break me this season but I refuse to give him the satisfaction) who lets him know that his daughters have escaped and his delighted reaction immediately lets us know which side of the family they take after.

Finally (at least wrt PCs), we meet Ally’s character--Liam Wilhelmina of House Jawbreaker (Level 2 Ranger) who is a political prisoner/ward of House Rocks and a soft, outdoorsy, mountain kid who is perpetually followed around by his pet pig--Peppermint Preston whose death will absolutely force to me to Google “Best Denny’s Parking Lots for Fistfights.” He misses his dad but not his dick brothers because Ally isn’t allowed to have a fully happy family in any season. Liam is from the disgraced House Jawbreaker and his brothers seem to expect him to try and off the King while he’s in their orbit. While he’s in the woods, looking for seeds (as one does) he finds and accidentally breaks an important looking teacup, which we’ll get back to.

The other important character we meet this episode is an NPC--Queen Caramelinda, mother of the princesses, wife of Amethar, and keeper of 100% of the impulse control of House Rocks. She’s the main disciplinarian to Jet and Ruby, the clear decision-maker in the kingdom, and the only literate one out of her and her husband. She also seems to be the only character that respects Lapin’s authority. 

An Inciting Incident

So, with all our characters assembled, all that’s left is the plot hook which Caramelinda provides in the form of a personal letter from Emperor Gustavo--the head honcho of the entire realm and his old friend--to Amethar. He’s not doing well health-wise and he needs to name an heir that’s not related to him at a big tourney that he’s personally inviting Amethar to. Amethar is a little slow on the uptake but Caramelinda eventually connects to dots for him that it seems very likely that Gustavo is going to name him emperor.

Amethar is not vibing with that information at all but Caramelinda basically holds him by the ear until he reluctantly agrees to go--though he insists that Ruby and Jet also come along to keep him company. Caramelinda only agrees on the condition that Lapin goes with. She also invites Liam (who is caught off guard but game) and Sir Theo is basically going by default. Caramelinda is staying home to hold down the fort but the talking slice of cake is going because Brennan hates me and doesn’t want me to be happy. 

The traveling party is chosen, the twins have been gifted with sick, inherited weapons from their aunts: Flickorice--the Twizzing Blade (Jet) and Sourscratch--the Puckering Bow (Ruby). It’s almost time to be off, but there’s still one last thing to get to before we leave the twins’ party. 

Lapin, feeling the pull of something broken (told you we’d get back to it) subtly makes his way outside, but is followed by Jet and Liam. Now, if you remember, I said earlier that Lapin is an official of the Bulbian church. Which is why it’s so surprising for Jet and Liam to see him talking to the Sugarplum Fairy, a deity of the Sweetening Path--a non-sanctioned more animistic religion that really only has sway in Candia. He fixes the teacup and then she appears, telling him that he’ll need to be wary once he leaves her sphere of influence and that boldness will be required in the days to come. Lapin, who seems to be having this conversation very begrudgingly, asks if she’s asking him to do anything in an official capacity and she smiles and says that she’s not asking for her third wish(!). Then what does she want? She wants him to know that there is great risk in what he is doing, but not acting is the greater risk. The coming challenges will be great, but he must protect the royal family or all is lost. She wouldn't have used her second wish to bring him to them if that weren’t the case. They hustle back and spill this to Ruby, obvs.

Anyway, onward! The next day, the caravan is set up and--with a warning about a sugar free chocolate warlock (ominous, as sugar free chocolate always is) they’re on their way to meet their escort out of Candia. Ruby decides to do her acrobat thing and is hanging out on top of the carriage instead of inside it as she and Jet “subtly” (read:not at all) bring up the Sugarplum Fairy to Lapin to see if he cracks.

Suddenly, the caravan stops. There’s a tree felled in the path, which really only means one thing in this kind of story. 

Ambush.

Ruby, outside of the carriage and unprotected, takes 16 points of damage and is fully down with a failed death save due to some unknown effect. The carriage is riddled with arrows. 

Everyone rolls for initiative and that takes us into a new (sure to be recurring) segment I’m calling:

Things I’m Concerned About

I’m concerned about Jet and Ruby (and not just because I’ve been worried about Ruby for a while due to things the cast has said and because she fully *died* this episode). They have their genres so wrong. They think they’re Disney movie protagonists but they’re in Game of Thrones and they don’t know it. Being Wrong Genre Savvy is a BAD position to find yourself in. Carriage surfing shenanigans don’t fly in a world that wants you dead.

OK, Carameinda. I’m inclined to be pro-Caramelinda. Like, she’s the hardass but she needs to be because Amethar isn’t helping run the kingdom. If this was a different story, she wouldn’t give me any pause but I read Macbeth and feel some light Lady Macbeth vibes. Gonna be keeping an eye on her.  

Calroy and Sir Toby (didn’t mention him, he’s a slightly lower ranked Gummi Bear guard and friends with Theo). In a story like this, I’m looking for the possible betrayals before I get blindsided and the only people who can really betray you are people who are supposedly loyal to you. Calroy had a little aside with Amethar about how he shouldn’t be the Emperor if he doesn’t want to be--which isn’t wrong but is also something someone angling to keep him off the throne for other reasons would say--and Sir Toby decided to stay behind to help hold down the fort--again, either an innocuous decision, or angling to be left alone and to his own devices. 

Whatever is going on with the Sugarplum Fairy and Lapin? Do not care for that one bit. I understand that a Warlock pact is mechanically very similar to a Paladin oath and a Celestial Warlock pact is even moreso but guess what? Still don’t trust it. I know Ruby’s Arcana check said that she’s generally a chill spirit but I still don’t trust it. And getting Wishes from your follower? Weird and suspicious. What’s your game, lady?

Emperor Gustavo apparently has a daughter who is barred by law from taking the throne when he dies. That sounds like a very strong motive for *something* at some point down the line. 

I’m a little concerned Jet is being catfished by this Avocado. First of all, not a sentence I thought I’d ever write. Second of all, I’m probably just being paranoid. But that feels like a great way to get a princess alone for kidnapping or shanking or something. 

Update: Brennan did an AMA and, regarding the previous bullet point he said, and I quote, “You are right to be concerned!” so now I’m concerned about that too! Fun!

I’m concerned about the mechanics of how a slice of cake person works. Slice implies a full cake. Where is the rest of the cake Brennan? Where is it? And, like, Brennan said on the post-show stream that we’re making the “what do they eat?” question weirder than it actually is because we’re made of some of the stuff we eat but hey Brennan? If I could pick a flesh toned and textured apple off a tree? That would be weird, OK? And I’m sorry for everyone else who had to picture that but it had to be said since Brennan is insisting on walking us down this garden path.

I’m concerned about whatever the hell is happening with Liam. Disgraced dad, mom is a shaman of the local fringe religion (Sweetening Path, like Lapin), and his brothers want him to shank the king or something? No way this ends in smiles for everyone. 

Brennan said Pyramid of Food so I’m concerned about fruit rollup mummies. 

OK but more than anything, I’m concerned about the death rules of this game. Death in D&D is cheap but, in a campaign like this, it can’t be. I’m not super well versed in GoT but it’s my understanding that resurrection in that series is possible but rare. Brennan said he specifically didn’t let Ally stock certain healing spells and that’s very telling about how things are gonna be handled. I guess we’ll see in the upcoming battle episode how that works but my general thought is, I hope everyone made interesting backup characters.  

Five More Things

So, my thoughts on the new characters. I love Ruby and Jet with my entire heart. Watching Emily and Siobhan roleplay sisters and enable each other and hype each other up is so fun--or it would be if I wasn’t low key bracing to lose one of them sooner rather than later. Zac playing against type and Murph playing to type are both fantastic. I want nothing more than for Theobald and Lapin to continue sniping at each other. I hope that’s the first PvP fight of D20. Amethar is a lot of fun but clearly in over his head and I’m interested to see where he’s pushed. Liam is literally just vibing. Hope he doesn’t have to commit regicide!     

God, the House Rocks PCs are such a disaster family. I love it. The moment when Calroy comes in and is like, “The princesses have escaped,” and Amethar breaks into a grin and is like, “Dude, that’s so dope!” I was like OH, so it’s *all* of them, huh. But, honestly, this should have been on the “Things I’m Concerned About” list because come on. They’ve not all gonna make it. And then we’re gonna have to watch the remaining family members react to that? Oh no. 

Love Ruby’s bow. I have a player in my game who also has a magic bow that produces energy arrows because, truly, who has the time to deal with the logistics of how many arrows you had left after last fight? Magic arrows. Boom, done. Next. 

Getting bagged on by your Patron for not having a spell when she’s the one who gives you your spells is so funny. Also, Mending isn’t a Warlock spell which makes it even funnier. 

**I’ve given myself a 3k word limit on all of these to try to put some boundaries on myself but, Lol, prize to the first who guesses closest to the first episode I break that rule.**

[i-am-just-a-kiddo]

ok so I tried to come up with three characters like you did for me but this was very difficult. so feel free to ignore some if you don't like it or feel like talking about someone else :'D but the beauty ghost/liu qianqiao (word of honor), yu tangchun (killer and healer, bc i know you like our opera boy) and seo moonjo (strangers from hell, bc i am always curious about you and this dentist lol)

Aaaah thanks for these! 💗 It’s been a joy to answer them, so I hope you can get through my ramblings about them. 

Referring to Give Me A Character

and I’ll break their ass down:

How I feel about this character

All the people I ship romantically with this character

My non-romantic OTP for this character

My unpopular opinion about this character

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

My answers under the cut: 

Liu Qian Qiao/ Beauty Ghost (Word of Honor) 

How I feel about her: I love her and she deserves better. I’ve not finished the drama yet and I know surprisingly little spoilers about her. I just love to see her acting on her own accord, standing up for the person she loves. Being protective and so caring of Luo Fu Meng, it breaks my heart. From what I’ve seen, she’s gotten on my radar only recently - after they saved Luo Fu Meng from the prison, I got really excited to see more of her and them in general. 

I think she deserves better than that pathetic man whose name I don’t bother to remember. I’m scared of what the show will do to her but I’m so excited to see more, especially now that Scorpion got them in his clutches? She’s on par with him and I’m curious which direction this will go. However, as with many C-dramas unfortunately, she does not really feel tangible to me? There is always something missing, just a small piece that will make her feel more true to me. Maybe the drama will deliver on that? I’m not sure what to expect. 

All the people I ship romantically with her: Luo Fu Meng!!! Lesbian ghosts rights!!! Their recent scenes have been breaking me and I just want to see more of them. I want to know more about their past together, about their dynamic. Luo Fu Meng is her master but right now, Liu Qian Qiao is the one guiding and caring for her. It shows how equal they actually are, even if not in their title. Liu Qian Qiao’s devotion to her feels so burning and determined - whatever she has going on with that man just pales in contrast. She was ready to risk it all for her and she would never abandon her. She’s willing to do anything and I’m just praying for their lives - please don’t fuck it up, @ show writers. 

In short, I just need more of them. Please. 

My non-romantic OTP for her: I loved her interaction with A-Xiang a lot - she truly seems like an older sibling to her and it’s precious to see. I can see them being easily annoyed with each other but also fiercely protective of the other. I can see A-xiang being an unstoppable whirlwind and Qian Qiao trying to ground her, while being incredibly fond. I can also see A-xiang pulling her older sister out of her own head, grounding her and validating her? Tell her that she is more than she thinks of herself, and that she deserves a lot more than she allows for herself. I need more of their interaction because I’m weak for found family tropes and I need more of the ladies doing their own thing outside of Wen Kexing’s or someone else’s periphery. 

Also I want more interaction with her and the Evil Bodhisattva???? The potential that friendship has? Please gimme. 

My unpopular opinion: I don’t know any opinions? I’ve not yet dived deeply into the WOH fandom because I’m not done with the drama yet. I’ve generally seen little content about her and the other ghost ladies, which is a pity. Once I get there, I’m excited to dive into all the fandom has to offer. 

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: I’m on episode 24, so I can’t really judge what the show is gonna do to her, but so far I wish for more depth. Less of that horrible man being affiliated with her. Less of her being subjected to violence. More agency. More of her and Fu Meng interacting, caring for each other, being in each other’s space. I hope her to survive and not be killed, so I’m crossing fingers. 

Yu Tangchun (Killer and Healer)

How I feel about this character: OH BOY. I have freshly baked feelings about him, get ready. Warning for spoilers:

First of all, I always felt the drama did not dive into him as deeply as I had wished. Something was always missing there, but I can’t really name what. Maybe more depth, other than just being sick and out for revenge? He had more potential and I will get to it later. But from all I’ve gotten from him, I love how strong he is, and how much bravery there is in such a small body. He has his own mind and own agenda and doesn’t allow people pushing him around - I also love how deceiving he can be, even to his friends (namely Chen Yuzhi when he asked for that drug). He is a clever fox and I love that for him. Which also made him incredibly unpredictable to me in the beginning - I just couldn’t quite place him? 

In the end, am just incredibly fond and he deserved so so much better than the show ever gave him. 

All the people I ship romantically with him: Zhan Junbai, with all its flaws. From the first moment on, their tension just made me go ???????? the whole time. It was amazing and unsettling to watch, see its development and knowing this could not end well. A very delicious dynamic that always treaded the line of will they or won’t they (whether that refers to killing each other or otherwise). At some point I felt a little more invested into their plotline simply because it was so interesting and unpredictable. The mutual attraction is undeniable, which made what happened later even more heartbreaking and fucked up.

It could have never worked, even if Zhan Zhunbai had been less of a dick. They deserved a different ending - at least Yu Tangchun should have been the one to kill him, or at least they should have had a proper showdown together. After all - they were more than friends at this point. 

My non-romantic OTP: I loved his friendship with Chen Yuzhi, but I must say I would have loved to see him more with Chu Ran! If we imagine a different ending, they could have bonded together so much over what Zhan Junbai did to the both of them. They are both so gentle and headstrong, I wish we had gotten more of them together. It could be relaxing and freeing for the both of them. 

Also I’ve always wondered how exactly Yu Tangchun’s friendship with Jiang Yuelou worked? I think this got way too little spotlight. 

My unpopular opinion about him: I have no idea what is popular and what isn’t? Maybe that I sort of enjoyed the idea of Yu Tangchun joining Zhan Junbai, even though I knew it wouldn’t happen. Let me dream, that could have been a different level of conflict. 

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: Oh boy. Oh boy. SO MUCH. Spoilers ahead if you haven’t finished the show: 

First of all, his ending?? It felt way too rushed and while not out of character, he deserved so much more than his death being an afterthought to the plot and a few sad gay flashbacks. The entire ending felt rushed and oh boy, could I rant about it here, but I will try and focus on Yu Tangchun. So yes, give him the respect he deserves. 

Another thing which I have mentioned above is that I wished they had given him more depth? Just a little bit more other than the trauma and agony he went through. I also wish I had seen more of his opera and his story with it - how he got there, how he thinks about it. We only ever got glimpses and I get that a show can only focus on so much, but still. 

I also wish his ending with Zhan Junbai had been different - in a sense that I wanted him to break Zhan Junbai, lure some genuine emotions on his face other than anger. I wish they had gotten more….closure? I don’t even know. It didn’t feel satisfactory at all. Zhan Junbai went through so much trouble to keep him and then suddenly he let’s him go and then he dies? It just went too quickly. If at least Yu Tangchun had been there to kill him in the end, or at least get some sort of closure. I’m rambling now because I don’t know what I wanted for them but it was certainly more than what the show gave me. I am so frustrated about the ending of the show, help me. 

Seo Moonjo (Strangers from Hell)

How I feel about this character: Conflicted. That is the short answer to that, but of course I’m not here to give a short answer. Do I have to clarify that I do not condone the actions of a cannibalistic serial killer in real life? I hope not. Okay, let’s get to it then. 

Seo Moonjo (or Mr. Dentist, as I lovingly call him) to me is incredibly intimidating. Part of it is that Lee Dong Wook does an incredible job at depicting him as charming and terribly unsettling at the same time. From the first second he shows up on screen, you feel this presence - and you feel intrigue and fear. Which is what Seo Moonjo wants, it’s what he preys on. 

So when I think about how I feel about him, I think he is one of the best villains I’ve encountered recently, simply because he makes me feel the same way he makes Jongwoo feel. I’m very fascinated? I feel Seo Moonjo is a very lonely person, lost in his own ideals and morals. He has absolutely no sense of social propriety and does not intend to learn them. He’s so caught up in his own art and his desire for a certain life, it’s almost pitiful how much he desires it. But of course, once I feel a sliver of pity, he reminds me that he is - indeed - hell personified. I am still lowkey mad that he charmed me (why is being a villain so sexy smh).

Summing up, I love and hate him. What a creepy bastard.

All the people I ship romantically with him: Yoon Jongwoo, despite all the cruelty of it. I think comparing this show to NBC’s Hannibal is very valid, even though these two never got a proper development of their relationship like Will and Hannibal did. I absolutely think that Seo Moonjo is in love with Jongwoo and wants him to be his, wants to wrap him up in his life and make him the ‘perfect art-piece’ he had always wanted in his collection. No matter how sick it is, this obsession is probably the closest Seo Moonjo can get to feeling love - he does not know how else to love. 

So what do I want for them? I want Jongwoo to get his revenge, to make Seo Moonjo suffer as much as he did. I want Jongwoo to see eye to eye with him so they can walk with equal footing. I want Seo Moonjo to realise that Jongwoo has as much power over him as he thinks he has over the other. After this, they can be murder husbands for all I care, in true Hannibal-esque fashion. The emancipation of Jongwoo needs to happen first, and Seo Moonjo needs to realise that he is not the invincible one in this relationship. After that, they can have a good time together, no matter how fucked up that time may look like. 

Also, I am convinced that he ‘dated’ Yoo Gihyeok in a twisted way, before he went and fucked up his plans; and before Jongwoo came to cath his eye.

My non-romantic OTP: As mentioned above - Seo Moonjo is a lone wolf. Yes he had his pack and someone that guided him on this path, but none of them ever come close to him to see his heart. The show itself doesn’t give him much space to see a potential friendship except the one he has with Jongwoo. Jongwoo would be the answer for this as well. (also to be fair, I don’t wish anyone to be friends with him damn)

However, if I could explore more dynamics he has with other people, I would love to see it with Officer So. I think she is an incredibly interesting and strong character and the few scenes they had together were fascinating - she came as his patient and ended up being his enemy. In another installment of this show, I would’ve loved to see more interaction like that and see the development of them being pleasant acquaintances (and maybe Seo Moonjo realising that she too is worth his attention) to enemies. I want Seo Moonjo to find respect for her.

My unpopular opinion: I’m not into depicting him as fancy rich, as many do in fics. Yes he’s a dentist and surely has a ton of money, but I like the idea that despite this wealth, he would always be a shabby sort of person. Not decked out with a luxurious rooftop apartment and wearing dress-shirts every day and expensive watches; but rather using his wealth to make himself safe from detection, finding remote areas, buying utensils and appliances for his ‘art’. So no, I reject the vision of him lounging on the highest building in Seoul with a minimalist empty apartment. I see him in a ratty rundown but expensive old mansion/house that has many corners for his artistic endeavours. I’ve already picked the perfect house for him in Busan, on the top of a hill overseeing the city and the harbour. 

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: I’ve mentioned it above, but I wish Seo Moonjo had gotten to feel more pain. We got Jongwoo’s liberation and Moonjo being proud of his ‘artwork’ while Jongwoo kills him, but that was not the revenge Jongwoo needed. In the end, Moonjo still lingers with him, as a constant presence, and he never got a taste of his own medicine. While watching this show, all I wanted was Jongwoo to break Moonjo’s heart. This would not make up the suffering Moonjo put him through but at least they would be equal. So I have my own revenge fantasy with this character that is more than ‘merely’ killing him. Being killed by Jongwoo just felt like an honour to Seo Moonjo and I’m not satisfied with that. 

Phew okay I’m done! Thank you for giving me something to ramble about, it was a joy!! 

[secretsfromwholecloth]

Dragon Age: Origins, day 2.

The profiteering merchant in Lothering offends Isaura’s moral sensibilities in an abstract sort of way, yes, but he also clearly feels some guilt about what he’s doing or he wouldn’t be so defensive. Which makes him a perfect target for her to draw out the conversation and make him squirm.

Morrigan, shut up, Isaura will solve other people’s problems if she wants. You’re just jealous that you’re not the one who’s just starting to realize you’re finally in control of your own life.

Hello, Leliana. The last pretty girl Isaura saw in one of those sunburst dresses didn’t do her any favors, but you seem helpful, at least. You can stay, for now. (A genuine friendship will come later.)

Sorry, doggie, but I need a rogue and don’t want to drop Morrigan yet. Hopefully having just Alistair to tank for three ranged characters won’t leave me regretting my life choices too much.

I can open things now! :D

Hello, Sten. Fucked up bad enough that you would’ve been in line for execution if a Grey Warden hadn’t happened by and decided you looked good enough to push in front of darkspawn? Isaura may know something of that experience.

I’ll give Sten this, his VA is nice to listen to.

Sorry, Morrigan, you can snark at Alistair and Leliana more later, I need a proper melee squad.

Isaura has taken her first specialization—Spirit Healer, of course. One of these days I’ll have to have a good think about what kind of spirit she’d be inclined to pick up. Maybe name it.

Ah, camp. Time to make the rounds and get to know the babies.

Isaura is having fun trolling Sten and Leliana, but she’s already letting up quicker than she would’ve back at the Circle. She’s getting used to being more in control of things, and that means she doesn’t have the same need to be annoying.

Mutual sniping time with Morrigan is pretty fun as well.

Alistair could stand to assume that Miss Former Circle Mage over here knows the basics of what a templar is; what she really wants to know is, how much of a Templar is he, still? His critical attitude toward the institution and his story of being horrified by his first Harrowing and being happy to nope out afterwards are promising, but she’ll have to keep an eye out over a longer period to see if he really means it.

Right then, back home to the Circle tower. I’m not doing Redcliffe first, for once!

Isaura has been telling herself since Flemeth’s hut that Irving will listen to her. He has to listen. Even if he’s still mad at her, he listens to the Wardens, and he has to know there’s a Blight on.

Who to bring? Well, Alistair and Leliana are non-negotiable, and whoever gets the free spot is going to get dropped for Wynne anyway, so it doesn’t much matter. Hey, let’s take the dog back out for a walk.

Alistair, dearie, rest assured that the tower’s location is not due to the mages having “an aversion to practicality”. Isaura will be happy to tell you what she knows of Anders (less than she might, but they knew each other in passing) to demonstrate.

Hello for proper, Wynne. Fun times here at the Circle tower, huh?

Eurgh, this thing with the desire demon. Though, demon friend, you might be advised that Isaura is...less put off by the prospect of having to kill a Templar than others might be.

Oop, Fade time. And this is where I take a second to pull up the walkthrough, because no way am I taking two steps in the Fade without it.

I sure do love the spirit form. Crushing Prison + Winter’s Grasp + spirit bitchslap = hey, where’d all the enemies go?

Hello again, Cullen. Goodness.

Chantry propaganda aside, frankly, the only shameful thing here is your taste. But you won’t understand that for a lot of years, if you ever do.

Well, and your eventual reaction to everything that’s going on, but that hasn’t happened yet.

Isaura may not respect Cullen, but she’s not completely devoid of pity for the kid, and she feels pretty bad right now.

Don’t be tedious, Uldred.

Oh, apparently you’re constitutionally incapable of not being tedious. Welp, time to make you stop, then.

Isaura finds she kind of missed Irving, despite everything. It was good to see him. Well, onward. In the morning. Because it’s late.

[raeynbowboi]

Into the Dragon’s Dungeon: How to Play as Itachi in DnD 5e

After covering one of my favorite villains and then my favorite superhero, it’s time to tackle my favorite anime “villain” by building the illusion master Itachi Uchiha from the Naruto franchise. Unlike the last two options, only one person has been responsible for creating and choosing the powers of this character, so I don’t have to look at multiple sources to pin down his powers, skills, and abilities.

The Makings of A Hero

Race probably seems like a no brainer. Itachi is a human. Super duper Simple. But for me personally, I tend to view most Shonen anime characters as Variant Humans. If a character can get kicked against a wall so hard they make a crater and then get up like it’s nothing, that’s not a normal human. So, I file them under Variant Humans in my builds.

When it comes to morality, it’s very easy to argue that Itachi is Lawful Evil. He’s committed horrible attrocities in the name of the law. But the slaughter of his family was for the greater good of the village, so you could also call that Chaotic Good. You could even argue that he’s sort of neutral. So the alignment you give him will depend largely on how you view him.

As a ninja, and a former secret police ninja to boot, Spy is a possible background for him. However, he’s also a rogue ninja, meaning he’s a wanted criminal, which could fit the Criminal background. Since Itachi is a member of the criminal organization Akatsuki, he could be considered a Faction Agent. And since he’s killed his entire clan, you could make him a Haunted One.

Fighting Style

The number one most important factor in a proper Itachi build is a high AC. Itachi’s best quality is that the guy is hard to pin down. I’d bet that if I went back through the entire series, I could count the number of times anyone actually managed to hit Itachi on one hand. Itachi tends to prefer to fight from mid to long range. When he was a child, he was much more focused on his physical combat. It wasn’t until Itachi was an adult that his focus shifted to magic and illusions. However, by the time he first appears in the series, his magic has become his primary means of fighting. Itachi is a very defensive fighter. Above anything else, Itachi is focused on avoiding damage and turning an opponent’s power against them.

The Sharingan

The magical eyes of the Uchiha Clan can copy techniques, mirror unknown jutsus in real time, and see through illusions. The Sharingan also improves reflexes and reaction time by giving the wielder an enhanced sense like Spider-man’s Spidey Senses. The evolved version, the Mangekyo Sharingan gives Itachi access to three important abilities. Amaterasu, a black flame so hot it can burn through the esophagus of a fire-breathing mountain toad. Susano’o, a giant skeletal spectral warrior that surrounds the user and protect them. And Itachi’s most signature ability, the Tsukuyomi, a powerful illusion that traps targets in a nightmare world that tortures them. While Amaterasu and Susano’o are a little harder to work into this particular build, Tsukuyomi is a lot easier to fit to the dnd format.

Physical Abilities

Itachi is one of the fastest characters in the series. In most video games, Itachi moves noticeably faster than the other characters. So a good build of Itachi should focus on mobility. However, just as important is the rapidness of his attacks. The more he can attack, the better.

Itachi is adept at fighting with shuriken (darts), kunai (daggers), and his short sword, all of which are finesse weapons.

Magical Abilities

All ninjas in the Naruto franchise are able to walk on water, walk up vertical surfaces, disguise themselves as other people, and create non-corporeal clones of themselves.

Every member of the Uchiha Clan has an affinity for Fire ninjutsu, and Itachi’s secondary affinity is Water ninjutsu.

Itachi takes the standard ninja clones one step further, creating his famous Crow Clone, an illusory clone of himself that disperses into a flock of crows upon being damaged. Itachi uses these crows to confuse, distract, and disorient his opponents.

Itachi is the strongest master of illusion magic in the series. Itachi has caused his foes to feel pain from shuriken he never threw, fight someone made to look like Itachi with illusions, turn another master illusionist’s genjutsu against her, and has made people waste time and energy fighting the air instead of him. 

Itachi’s Spellbook & Feats

Mobility     Haste (Sorcerer, Wizard)     Longstrider (Bard, Druid, Ranger, Wizard)     Mobile (Feat)

Basic Ninja Abilities     Alter Self (Sorcerer, Wizard)     Disguise Self (Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard)     Spider Climb (Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard)     Water Walk (Artificer, Cleric, Druid, Ranger, Sorcerer)

Fire     Aganazzar’s Scorcher (Sorcerer, Wizard)     Delayed Fireball Blast (Sorcerer, Wizard)     Dragon’s Breath (Sorcerer, Wizard)     Fireball (Sorcerer, Wizard)     Fire Bolt (Sorcerer, Wizard)     Flaming Sphere (Druid, Wizard)     Immolation (Sorcerer, Wizard)     Investiture of Flame (Druid, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard)     Scorching Ray (Sorcerer, Wizard)

Water     Control Water (Cleric, Druid, Wizard)     Shape Water (Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard)     Tidal Wave (Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard)     Wall of Water (Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard)     Watery Sphere (Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard)

Sharingan     Alert (Feat)     Arcane Eye (Wizard)     Defensive Duelist (Feat)     Detect Magic (Bard, Cleric, Druid, Paladin, Sorcerer, Wizard)     Dispel Magic (Bard, Cleric, Druid, Paladin, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard)     Foresight (Bard, Druid, Warlock, Wizard)     Slow (Sorcerer, Wizard)     True Seeing (Bard, Cleric, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard)

Illusions, Counters, Crows, & Redirection     Blur (Artificer, Sorcerer, Wizard)     Confusion (Bard, Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard)     Counterspell (Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard)     Enemies Abound (Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard)     Flock of Familiars (Warlock, Wizard)     Hallucinatory Terrain (Bard, Druid, Warlock, Wizard)     Illusory Dragon (Wizard)     Major Image (Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard)     Minor Illusion (Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard)     Mirage Arcane (Bard, Druid, Wizard)     Mirror Image (Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard)     Mislead (Bard, Wizard)     Phantasmal Force (Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard)     Phantasmal Killer (Wizard)     Programmed Illusion (Bard, Wizard)     Project Image (Bard, Wizard)     Psychic Scream  (Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard)     Seeming (Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard)     Silent Image (Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard)     Simulacrum (Wizard)     Synaptic Static (Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard)

Tsukuyomi     Cause Fear (Warlock, Wizard)     Eyebite (Warlock, Wizard)     Fear  (Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard)     Feeblemind (Bard, Druid, Warlock, Wizard)     Maddening Darkness (Warlock, Wizard)     Mental Prison (Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard)     Mind Spike (Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard)     Power Word: Pain (Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard)     Weird (Wizard)

Get to Class

Itachi’s mix of martial and magical combat means he’s going to be multiclassing. While he could be an Arcane Trickster Rogue, there’s a wider selection of spells that a Wizard class would help him with. So, a good build for Itachi is a mix of Wizard, Rogue, and a little bit of Monk for the unarmored defense. As a rogue, the most useful subclass for him is the Scout, as it allows him to disengage whenever enemies get too close, letting him keep his distance in a fight. As a monk, the Way of Kensei will give Itachi the use of the Agile Parry and the Kensei’s shot, which will improve his aim with ranged weapon attacks. But the most important class for an Itachi build is a School of Illusions Wizard.

Stats and Proficiencies

First and foremost, Itachi needs to have a high AC because pinning this guy down is nigh impossible. So the higher you can make his AC, the better off he’ll be. So Dexterity is going to take top billing. As a Wizard, he’s going to cast spells with his Intelligence modifier, so that’s the next priority. Due to his monk levels and Itachi’s keen Sharingan eyes, Wisdom is going to be the next most important. Next, Deception is a vital part of convincing people to believe your illusions are real, so a good Charisma modifier is needed. Next up is Strength. because Anime characters are pretty strong. And we’ll have to dump Constitution, but as long as he can avoid being hit, that shouldn’t be too much of an issue.

Itachi is a prodigy, becoming an elite secret police officer by the age most of us are popping pimples and worrying about asking that special someone to the dance. As such, he’s going to have a lot of skills. Luckily, being a Rogue gives Itachi more skills to choose from and more expertise. His skills include: Acrobatics (Dex) Athletics (Str) Deception (Cha) Insight (Wis) Intimidation (Cha) Investigation (Int) Perception (Wis) Sleight of Hand (Dex) Stealth (Dex)

This build was particularly frustrating. Not because I didn’t know how to build him, but because it got accidentally deleted when I was halfway through it. Still, I hope I’ve built Itachi the right way to encompass his abilities and fighting style. I did my own level 20 build which you can check out right [here]. Do you agree with how I built Itachi? Do you have a better suggestion for how to build him? And I’m taking requests. Do you have a character you’d like to see me build? Let me know and I’ll see you next time in the Dragon’s Dungeon.

[c-h-pictures]

The Chaos Chronicles, Series 1

@some-gay-looser

I did say there was a lot.

This is dystopian, I talk about character death in this.

Basically, set really far in the future and humans are born with one power. There is a small group of teenagers who are rebelling against the rulers.

Falco, the Queen’s brother, has a system set up. He is trying to make super soldiers with multiple powers. He uses Suki and William as his test subjects.

Suki is barely 12, William is 13.

Suki’s backstory: They were born to a scientist and a Timekeeper, they have a twin sister called Ava and a brother called Asher who is two years younger, at age 5 (Asher age 3) their familly house was burnt down in an accident, leaving Suki as the only known survivor.

We start in a prison with the main characters:

Suzaki Marina, better known as Suki, 14 years old, non-binary born female, bisexual (because enbie, likes boys), born with the power of water control, given the powers of flight, lightning control, and air control by Falco’s experiments, leader of the rebels.

Shamus, better known as Shae, 16 years old, cis male, pansexual poly, born with the power of fire control, one of the first recruits

Mikko (feminine name at time), 13 years old, born female, aro/ace, currently using they/them pronouns, but transitioning to male, born with the power of invisibility

Evelyn Monroe, sometimes called Ev, 18 years old, cis female, heterosexual, recruited at the same time as Shae, works in government systems, the person on the inside for the rebels, born with powers of healing (can’t cure death)

Matt, 15 years old, cis male, pansexual, recruited in the prison, born with the power of weather control

Mikko is informed of William’s escape that went wrong, he was meant to break out the other rebels but soldiers got in the way and he had to leave them, promising to return and break them out

William comes back into contact after months, and breaks them out

Suki forces William to go on his own path after learning of what he did (the news reports are saying that he killed the queen)

With the queen dead, Falco claims the throne when Julian (the queen’s son) runs away

Mikko stays with them for a few days after they break out, but leaves to go their own way, assuring the group that they will take care of themself, and help if they ever meet again.

The four remaining (Suki, Ev, Shae, Matt) form a plan to attack the HMS Orca a prison ship

While doing this, they encounter a problem, leaving them trapped by Falco’s soldiers

The technology goes haywire and helps the rebels.

After freeing the prisoners, they discover that Newt was the one who helped them.

Newt joins them

Newt, 18 years old, cis male, homosexual, born with the power of metal bending

They travel with the new group, in the direction of a village they know of.

The group meet Julian without knowing who he is and he joins them

Julian, 15 years old, cis male, hetero, born with the power of mind control, rightful king

Before they arrive at the village, a Timekeeper by the name of Arki (non binary, born female, 16, bisexual poly) arrives and gets stuck when their timepiece breaks.

Arki goes to the blacksmith to find his apprentice, a 12 year old who goes by Whitlock

The blacksmith is said to be elsewhere, but has left Whitlock in charge for the village

Whitlock knows what Arki is but keeps her secret hidden, he also provides a place to stay for her at the village inn, since Arki doesn’t have the proper currency.

While Whitlock sorts out a place for Arki, he notices the rebels organising who gets which room and recognises the leader instantly.

The next day, Whitlock goes to the rebels to join them and convinces Arki to come with him.

The next few days, the group travel so that they aren’t in one place for too long but with no real aim as they need more training for the new recruits before they get near Falco.

Ever since leaving the village, an animal has been following them that they can’t get rid of

Throughout all of this, one of Falco’s assassins has been following them, unbeknowest to the group

In the forest, the group get ambushed

It is revealed that Whitlock barely survived a fire in his house, set by Falco to kill them all, when he was 3 with his mother and sisters even though they don’t all know who survived and who didn’t, who was a scientist and managed to help him, but left him with a bionic arm - Whitlock is in fact Asher Marina

There is a fight that ends with Falco retreating, but Whitlock being killed

The animal that was following them, was in fact Ava, who had taken their father’s timepiece, that their mother had given a slight amount of shape-shifting ability

The story continues in series 2, which I will put up later.

[vulpes-incendium]

From Leon to Matthew 

For @aphrarepairweek2020

June 17: Letters

Pair: CanHong (as brothers)

Warning: historical references, hints of current events

Summary: Selections of letters from Leon to Matthew (1867 - 2020)

============================

 9th December, 1867

Matthew 哥哥,

Where are you? When you back home?

Why you no back home? I miss you! I miss panncakes!

Arthur say my english better. I need practise. You come home and practise with me!

See you Chrissmas!

I very miss you!

Leon

============================

 3rd October, 1914

Dear Matthew,

    How are you?

    I heard about the war, Arthur would not let me listen to the radio nor read the papers, but I knew. Neeraj, Jett and Noah were all being called away, Michelle, the others and I were left alone at home. Still quite crowded, but not quite the same. No more pancakes in the house, no more pretend-ice hockey games, no more of your English lessons. You are not the loudest in the house, but it is not the same without you.

    I know war, I have seen them, I know how it is like. Please take good care of yourself. I know Arthur is strong, Neeraj is always there to help, Jett is determined and Noah is trustworthy, but I know they depend on you a lot. So promise me, be safe. I promise I will stay safe too, I will keep the house tidy and take care of the others, so do not worry!

    Miss you and waiting for you to come home.

Love,

Leon

============================

 17th June, 1942

Dearest Matthew,

    I do not know if this could reach you, we are not allowed to contact anyone outside of Japan. Anyway, how are things going on with you?

    I am sorry. I could not save your people, and Arthur's and Neeraj's people. It breaks my heart to hear how they were treated in the camp, at a place where children should learn without worries, on my land. Families, children, friends were separated, in a foreign land, buildings were torn apart. My people are forced to learn yet another new language. They are being taught to hate you, Arthur, Alfred and the others. They were promised a “family reunion”, yet all I see was the opposite.

    I apologise for being so useless. My people are trying hard to help them at Stanley, but Kiku's people would not allow it. I will try my best to learn Japanese to appease them, though it feels different than when I first learn English. The words are similar, yet it feels so foreign. I do not know what else I could do other than listen, obey and adapt, as I always do. I will keep on going, but I am tired.

    Why do these people, sharing the same eyes, same hair, same skin as me, feel so different to me? Why do these people, who are supposed to be my brothers and sisters, act nothing more than a stranger? Why do these people, whom I should call family, separate me and my family? Does blood really disconnect people from each other? Brother, I am frustrated, confused, lost... I just want to come home, to Arthur, to you, is it too much to ask for?

    Sorry for lashing out my feelings onto you, you are the only person I believe who could truly understand. Please do not worry about me, I will go through this with my people. I am not sure if I could see you again, or if the war is going to end, or if I am ever coming back home. I miss you, Arthur and the others. Please take care of yourself and remember that my heart will always be by your side. I miss you.

With all my love,

Leon

============================

1st July, 2020

Dear Matthew,

    I could have texted you, but I wanted to keep our tradition of writing letters. So, how have you been?

    I hope your people are doing fine, mine are relatively healthy, not quite happy though. I feel alone from time to time, sometimes I'm jealous of you. You and your people always seem so peaceful. Yes, I promised you not to make an invisible joke again, but I do, truly, wish I were like you sometimes, not standing in the centre of attention all the time, being argued over for, tossed around like an object. I just wish I would be like you someday, able to satisfy your people's wants.

    Please send my regards to Alfred, I'm seriously concerned about him and his people now. It's not an easy time for him at the moment, the illness, the anger, the chaos must be boiling up for him. I would love to know if I could do anything to help. We live so far away from each other, but I hope you'd know my heart is still with you all. 

    You can't imagine how hard I tried not to put slangs and acronyms in, I guess this is the reason why you keep on insisting that we continue exchanging letters, I can still speak proper English and I still remember how to write a letter. I could imagine Arthur lecturing me if I messed up any of those and your disappointed face after all those years of tutoring lol. (Oops, I finally did it. Can't help it.)

      And of course, Happy Birthday! Miss you. (Wow, that's really cheesy, have we always been like that?) No in all honesty, I miss you so much, so very much.

From your brother with love,

Leon

============================

 A/N: 

哥哥 = big brother

Neeraj = India

Jett = Australia

Noah = New Zealand

Michelle = Seychelles

“The others” would mean other British territories which were not involved in the war, such as Singapore, Jamaica and Bahamas. They are not named because they are not canon characters.

~

Stanley Internment Camp was used by the Japanese imperial forces to hold non-Chinese enemy nationals. St. Stephen's College was used for the camp, located next to Stanley Prison, where Japanese authorities used to hold those whom they considered “criminals”. About 2800 men, women and children were held there, majority being British.

I'm sorry I have to bring the bad history up, Hong Kongers don't hate Japan (maybe older generations do, not sure), but history is history and should be told.

~

I can't believe this is the very first writing I post on the internet! And the first non human AU! I have a couple fanfic I'm writing but I'm not secure enough to post them. Look what a challenge could do to you! I even tried editing a cover!

Sorry for the quality, it was a bit rushed, I learnt about the event like 2 days ago and I thought about not joining. “Letters” immediately caught my attention coz I can't draw or edit, and I have always wanted to write something for my BrOTP CanHong (even though I have prepared something for their birthdays). One of my headcannons is Canada was the one who taught HK English, as England would always be away at those times, hence the English lesson references.

Alright, let see if I could still manage to squeeze out another one in time. (I have 2 more pairs I want to write about for “Thunderstorm” and “Magic” respectively.) Consider this an early present for the two! Oh wait, Happy Birthday to you too, Iceland!

Leon's words to Alfred is also mine to the Americans, stay safe ❤️

[shalebridge-cradle]

Bisclavret Round-Up

Unholy took about three months to write. Fairy Tale took five. Hindsight took six.

Bisclavret took nineteen, and that should be the biggest indicator to you that I didn’t know what the hell I was doing.

This was my first venture into another fandom, and out of my comfort zone (though not entirely – supernatural elements for life). I’m not sure whether or not I did the source material and its characters justice, however, especially with the supernatural element I went with (Wolves are believed to have gone extinct in England in the late fifteenth or early sixteenth century), but I will try to explain my reasoning behind some of my decisions here.

The Characters

My main concern.

We get a good view of Monty’s thought process throughout the show, through the framing device of writing his memoirs and views of his private affairs. Phoebe and Sibella, on the other hand, are characters we don’t get much of in the way of examination – we only see them through Monty’s eyes until the very end, where they reveal themselves as more than that.

Sibella is a bit self-centred, and extremely practical when it comes to how she sees her place in society, which implies some self-confidence issues. Phoebe is more idealistic, and independent, but still hopes for a match fit for a storybook. But, towards the end, Sibella demonstrates she is more than a vain god-digger, afraid of losing the man she loves and willing to potentially compromise her image to save him, while Phoebe shows that she is not nearly as innocent or naive as the people around her consider her to be.

I interpreted the two women’s characterisations as thus; Sibella believes she is bound by society’s view of her. Phoebe does not. This, I believed, needed to be the focus.

Which is where we introduce…

The Whole Werewolf Thing

“[Post-modern Gothic] warns us to be suspicious of monster hunters, monster makers, and above all, discourses invested in purity and innocence. The monster always represents the disruption of categories, the destruction of boundaries, and the presence of impurities and so we need monsters and we need to recognize and celebrate our own monstrosities.”  - J Halberstam, Skin Shows: Gothic Horror and the Technology of Monsters

I gave a number of possible causes of the D’Ysquith ‘family curse’, if it is one – the actions of the first countess, Gregory D’Ysquith burning down a monastery (divine punishment is a possible cause), but I never gave a specific answer. I think I might be operating on the logic of the original Bisclavret – it’s irrelevant.

The reason there isn’t is because I intended it as a metaphor – which I think I’ve made clear with my chapter updates here (though you don’t have to read it that way, Death of the Author and all that), but I never quite decided and what it was a metaphor for. In terms of this particular narrative, it can be read as a metaphor for feminism, and/or a metaphor for same-sex attraction.

Feminism

Edwardian Era England, where A Gentleman’s Guide takes place, is not overly-represented in fiction. Not surprising, considering it’s a pretty short time period between the surprisingly long Victorian era and the world-changing events of World War One. However, when you think of that time period, a certain group tends to come to mind – the suffragettes.

(Just a note. Agatha D’Ascoyne, the character from Kind Hearts and Coronets who inspired Hyacinth D’Ysquith in the musical, was a suffragette. She has no lines, apart from “Shush!” – Deeds, Not Words.)

We know what these people wanted – Votes for Women. They were not prepared to wait for society to change to get it, and when peaceful protest was ignored, they began to act out. They refused to fit into their role of quiet, demure, loyal wives, and for some groups, this was seen as threatening. Anti-suffragette cartoons of the time often depicted these women as old, ugly and/or selfish for wanting similar rights to men instead of accepting their place as a ‘lesser being’.

The point I am trying to make is, being in defiance of the role you are expected to play – which Sibella is afraid to show – was seen by many to be ugly. Beastly.

Phoebe runs Henry’s country estate for him. Phoebe flaunts societal expectations by proposing to Monty, instead of waiting for him to propose, the ‘proper’ way to do things. While she is feminine, she does not fit the idea of what a woman ‘should be’.

Sibella makes a point to meet her obligations as a wife, though she does surreptitiously carry on an affair. She sacrifices her own happiness to get what she wants in a socially acceptable way. She has no intention of leaving Lionel in the source material, but she convinces herself that a rich, good-looking, polite man – what society thinks of as the ideal male – is what she wants, and realises on her wedding day that it isn’t.

And goes through with it anyway.

When she can no longer fit that mould, when she refuses to go along with Lionel’s plan to leech off the countess, when she undermines and argues with her husband, that’s when things start happening. Indeed, her ‘beastly’ outbursts manifest as standing up for herself. She ends the story as a much happier and self-assured person than she was at the beginning, and attempts to bring justice to other women.

Same-Sex Attraction

This is a bit more straightforward. We’re coming right off the back of the Victorian era here, where Oscar Wilde and others like him got their lives ruined. Same-sex relationships aren’t viewed in a positive light at all at this time – you like the same gender? Off to prison with you, deviant!

As people that were (and often still are) villainised, misunderstood and attacked for the crime of existing, some members of the LGBT community reclaim monsters such as vampires, werewolves and the Babadook as their own as a means of subverting their image in a heteronormative society. Being ‘monstrous’ is not bad. Being different is fine. You may feel malformed and wrong, but you are not. You and your quirks are accepted.

For some, the ones to fear are those who appear in the daylight.

Sibella, for all her talk of being a monster, only fights back when threatened. Morton has a heart attack when put in the position of his victims, subverting the formula he’s used to. Lionel, fearing that Sibella will leave him and damage his image, resorts to violence against Sibella and several other women he sees as substitutes for her. Mary attempts to murder Sibella for getting in the way of a monogamous man-woman relationship. In her eyes, Sibella is an irredeemable villain, but Phoebe can be ‘fixed’.

If you want to look deeper into this link between horror and the LGBT community, here’s a video essay discussing gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender representation in horror films.

There are only a few non-metaphorical references to werewolves. The wolf head in Eugenia’s dower house is a family member – as previously mentioned, wolves went extinct in England during the reign of Henry VII. St Hubert’s Key is a charm that more often than not looks like a nail, and was supposed to be able to rid the body of disease caused by a dog or wolf bite. There is some science behind this – the metal was heated before being pressed to the wound, and, if the subject was at risk of contracting rabies from the injury, the heat would likely sterilise and cauterise the potential infection site.

Not the First Murder-y Heir

There are a couple of characters named or directly taken from Israel Rank – Autobiography of a Criminal, the inspiration for Kind Hearts and Coronets and A Gentleman’s Guide to Love and Murder. I’ve compared these works before, so I’ll just go over those that appear here.

Esther (Lane) – The third object of Israel Rank’s affections, and a governess. Knows more than she’s letting on in Israel Rank, and in this story as well.

James “Jim” Morton – Appears for about a page to explain Israel’s disillusionment with the ideal male – while Morton seems great to some, he really isn’t. Since Jim only appears as a child in the book, his characterisation here is drastically different.

Lord and Lady Pebworth – Almost directly lifted from the book, with Lady Pebworth being a bad singer and Lord Pebworth an older gentleman who lets his wife get away with a lot. The difference here is that Israel introduces the Hollands to the Pebworths, while the Pebworths are hoping the Hollands introduce them to Lord and Lady Navarro.

Sir Anthony Cross – Quiet, very well-off, slightly older gentleman who is quite taken by Sibella, but it doesn’t go anywhere. Acquaintance of the Pebworths. Pretty much the same guy.

Ethel D’Ysquith (Gascoyne) – An ancestor Israel is quite taken with, not only due to the resemblance between the two. He’s made the 3rd Earl of Highhurst because I didn’t feel like making an imaginary preceding title (Monty is only the 9th Earl, while the 10th Earl Gascoyne is about five generations before Israel – Ethel was the 6th Earl) and the 2nd Earl, Roland, had already been named in the musical. Phoebe’s description of him is meant to heavily imply he was also a werewolf. If I had read the book before fleshing out the D’Ysquith family tree, he would have taken the role that the first countess plays in the narrative’s events (Ethel Gascoyne hid in a tower with an Italian magician for 20 years).

Kate Falconer – The character who would later be known as ‘Boat Girl’ in Kind Hearts and Coronets and Evangeline Barley in A Gentleman’s Guide. Her great crime is to go on holiday with her boyfriend, and gets poisoned for her troubles. She survives here, and I used her to try a formatting technique (while she speaks, none of her dialogue is in quotes: in a way, she is voiceless).

(Sir) Cheveley Drummond, (Lady) Enid Branksome, and Catherine Goodsall – only mentioned briefly. Drummond is described as handsome and ‘interesting’ by Israel, Lady Enid is a young woman from a penniless but aristocratic family, and Catherine Goodsall in an actress whose abusive husband was beaten so badly by a Gascoyne he joined the navy and never came back to land.

In addition, Lionel’s later characterisation comes directly from Kind Hearts and Coronets, since he gets  almost none in the musical. His breakdown in Chapter 11 follows his emotional journey when asking for a loan – affability, begging, threatening suicide, insults and physical violence.

Literary References:

Not always relevant, but there is a wide enough variety that I’m collecting them.

Every chapter title, and the tagline of the work, comes from Manners and Social Usages by Mary Elizabeth (Mrs. John) Sherwood. It’s a bit out of date by the time of this story (written in 1884), but Sherwood does have some great phrases in her etiquette handbook.

Ruddigore is mentioned in chapter 2, only because it is a musical theatre production (opera) where ancestors play a role and family expectations are subverted.

There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy. Hamlet. It’s Hamlet.

When in the chronicle of wasted time, I see descriptions of the fairest wights, and beauty making beautiful old rhyme in praise of ladies dead, and lovely knights...  Shakespeare’s Sonnets, Number 106.

I desire, and I crave… Fragment from Sappho’s poetry.

The countess closes her book; something by a George Reynolds. George W. M. Reynolds wrote Wagner the Wher-Wolf (with that spelling) in 1857.

I met a lady in the meads, full beautiful, a faery’s child: Her hair was long, her foot was light, and her eyes were wild. La Belle Dame sans Merci (The beautiful lady without mercy) by John Keats.

Sibella also briefly mentions Algernon Blackwood, a supernatural fiction writer who wrote a short story about a werewolf (portrayed quite differently here) that a character in 1909 could have possibly read (the story was first published in 1908).

In addition, the whole story is named after a very early depiction of a sympathetic werewolf, Bisclavret by Marie de France (and the most direct I think I’ve ever been with a title). It depicts, naturally, a werewolf (who is also a knight, because not being human doesn’t disqualify you from doing that – cutting social commentary for the 12th century) who is trapped in his wolf form after being tricked by his wife and her lover. Through chivalric behaviour to the king on a hunt, he works himself back into the royal court and, when his former wife pays a visit, bites off her nose. The king thinks the sudden aggressive behaviour from his pet prompts further investigation, the wife reveals all, and the knight is restored to human form. Also, all of the wife’s children are born without noses from then on. Lionel getting his nose bitten off is a reference to this poem.

Uncategorised Trivia

This work was written with the UK spellings of certain words, because it takes place in England. Previous works all took place in the US, and so used US spelling.

Les Patineurs Valse is French for The Skater’s Waltz. Reference to Asquith Jr. and Evangeline Barley.

All of the racehorse names Sibella finds are either variations, anagrams or synonyms of actual racehorses in the Victorian and Edwardian eras. Sir Hugh is Sir Huon, Gil Owen is Neil Gow, Irish Lass is Irish Lad, Supervision is Oversight and Pinnacle is Meridian.

Lionel was right to be concerned about Phoebe’s flower arrangement. Red begonias represent love, lavender-coloured heathers represent admiration and loneliness (and are a reference to another fandom I write for), tuberoses are symbolic of wild or forbidden passion (and was commonly used as a funeral flower), and verbena is reference to romance and sweet memories. The dead foliage is meant to mean sadness. Overall, the intended meaning is I miss you, my love.

[destieltropecollection]

Destiel Trope Collection 2019 Day 21: Hurt/Comfort (and Whump) 

Lie To Me | @castielslostwings Rating: Explicit Word Count: 27476 Main Tags and Warnings: Alternate season 14, canon divergent at s13e23 “let the good times roll”, angst with a happy ending, Michael!Dean, fix-it, pining, temporary MCD, human castiel, casturbation, top Cas/bottom Dean, Sam & Cas brother moments, alcohol as a coping mechanism, Chuck Ex Machina, hurt/comfort, Castiel whump, Dean whump Summary: Castiel and Sam's plan to expel Michael from Dean's body backfires in a big way, leaving them with an unexpectedly human archangel and the horrifying possibility that Dean's soul is gone forever. Can they bring Dean home from wherever he's gone? What will become of a human Michael trapped in Dean's body? How will Castiel survive losing the love of his life, just when things were starting to fall together?

Worlds Away | @hefellfordean Rating: Mature Word Count: 4240 Main Tags and Warnings: Multiple Universes, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergent, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Interdimensional Travel, Getting Together, Angst with a Happy Ending Summary: "In all the infinite, incalculable number of worlds, you don’t love me. But what’s worse, is that I didn’t need to ask to know that I love you in any world, unconditionally – and unrequited.”, Cas says, pulling away from Dean. Castiel is sent to a place between worlds, with infinite doorways through which he must travel to return home. All of the worlds he visits have something in common: Dean doesn't love him. His world is the same - or is it?

Angel Whisperer | @noiproksa Rating: General Word Count: 2767 Main Tags and Warnings: Hurt Castiel, Concussions Summary: Taking care of a concussed angel is a lot harder than anticipated. Dean might be out of his depth, but that doesn’t mean he won’t do everything he can to make his angel feel better. (Intended as gen, but can be read as Destiel pre-slash.)

Anti-Cuddle Curse | @noiproksa Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 5155 Main Tags and Warnings: Hurt Castiel, Cuddling & Snuggling, Witch Curses, Hurt/Comfort Summary: When a witch curses Team Free Will, Dean realizes how much being able to touch Cas really means to him. (Intended as gen, but can be read as Destiel pre-slash.)

Touch Deprived | @noiproksa Rating: General Word Count: 4132 Main Tags and Warnings: Hurt Castiel, Angel Healing, Hurt/Comfort Summary: Confused by all the human rules for personal space and touching, Cas has to come up with excuses in order to be able to touch Dean and Sam. Or is it the other way around? (Intended as gen, but can be read as Destiel pre-slash.)

longing for grapefruit | @reallyelegantsharkfish Rating: Explicit Word Count: 1686 Main Tags and Warnings: Friends to Lovers, Recreational Drug Use, Marijuana, Oral Sex, Mental Health Issues, Hurt/Comfort, Shotgunning, Demisexual Castiel Summary: Dean lights up and takes the first hit, but instead of exhaling, he leans over towards Cas. It’s not a proper kiss, breathing in Dean’s air, but it’s intimate, and they take turns sharing hits in between kisses. Cas is flying. Cas can feel everything, Cas is out of his body. “Baby,” Dean says, soft in between them. “Let me make you feel good.”

Green Corners | @rustling-pages Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 72533 Main Tags and Warnings: Elemental Magic AU, (Threat of) Main Character Death, (Past) Child Death, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn Summary: After the death of his son, there is nothing left for Dean other than his garden market. His days are tough, the nights are tougher, but at least there's a reason to get up in the morning. And with the new boom on do-it-yourself garden magic, his business is going okay. Amidst the passing of time, there is only one thing that distracts him from functioning like a normal human being: Diagonally across the street, in the display window of that traditional Herb and Potion shop, plants are dying in masses. Storming in to confront the owner goes differently than he imagined, though. Castiel Novak may be the kind of guy who wears old-fashioned mage robes and keeps his shop in sweltering heat, but he's also a talented herbalist, the kindest soul Dean has ever met, and utterly beautiful. Not that Dean is ready for anything other than friendship. (Not that Cas doesn’t get sick a bit too often.)

The Bone Eater (WIP) | @rachelhaimowitz Rating: Explicit Word Count: 111259 Main Tags and Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Castiel/Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester/Original Male Character(s), Castiel/Original Male Character(s), Hurt/Comfort, Prisoner Dean, Monsters, Dean Whump, Season/Series 09, Set somewhere between Bad Boys and Holy Terror, Size Kink, Non-Consensual Bondage, Violent Sex, Manhandling, Torture, Castiel Whump, Forced Orgasm, Prisoner Castiel, Possessive Behavior Summary: When Dean wakes in a strange prison cell, he quickly realizes he's become another victim of the mystery monster he and Sam have been hunting: a creature who sucks the marrow right out of people's bones. There are years--sometimes decades--between the killings, and no connection between them but men who were big, strong, and healthy when they disappeared. Dean learns right up close and personal why the monster picks who he picks. Unfortunately, stuck behind bars, consistently outmatched, and growing weaker by the day, he's having a tough time putting that information to good use. But Cas can't hear his prayers anymore (and doesn't owe him shit anyway, the way he left the guy), and Zeke might or might not have his ears on (and might or might not let Sam do anything about it even if he did), and Dean ain't no damsel in distress besides. He's gonna get out of there no matter what it takes, and he's damn well gonna make sure this monster never hurts anyone again--especially not the guy he finally finds the courage to admit he loves.

Fighting My Way Back | @deans-jiggly-pudding Rating: Explicit Word Count: 81740 Main Tags and Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence, major character death, canon compliant up to S13, Slow Burn, PTSD Summary: Sam, Cas, and Mary are trying and failing to break Dean out of Michael’s stronghold. Jack is exploring his potential while slowly recovering his power. He has the ability to create, but until his grace is at full strength, his creation must be made out of something already existing. Our favorite nephilim has a plan to use his newfound power to snap Dean out of Michael's control, but what will become of Dean after the ejection? And can Team Free Will 2.0 stop Michael before he destroys the world?

don't leave me | @breathingdestiel Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 1016 Main Tags and Warnings: au, established relationship, angst with a happy ending Summary: Dean is a mess after Cas leaves him. And it's all his fault.

Angeleech | @noiproksa Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 14457 Main Tags and Warnings: hurt/comfort, hurt castiel, case fic, platonic cuddling, sharing a bed, team free will Summary: It was supposed to be an easy hunt, but then everything goes sideways. Dean and Sam have to take care of an injured Cas and find out what is going on with the angel before it is too late.

Keeper of the Garden | @pherryt Rating: Mature Word Count: 5672 Main Tags and Warnings: Perceived MCD but not really, Season 13 Finale Coda, possessed!dean, Michael!Dean, Hurt/Comfort, Saving Dean, Recovering Dean, Angst, Hope, Hopeful Ending, Caretakers Sam and Cas (but mostly Cas), Gardening Dean, Canon, until next season starts anyway, broken!dean, Crazy!Dean, Hurt!Cas, Confessions Summary: Michael backed out of their deal and now Dean's stuck, trapped in his own mind with a crazy Archangel who keeps showing him Cas's death over and over again, keeps making Dean kill Cas over and over again... till he really does and Dean snaps... Finally free of Michael but not of his own sins, Dean is slow to recover from the possession, and is convinced Cas is dead at his own hands. Dean has done a lot of things, both good and bad, but there's nothing that will ever make up for that.

Any Other Day (WIP) | @peanutbutterjelly-pie Rating: Mature Word Count: 21679  Main Tags and Warnings: Canon Compliant, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Friends to Lovers Summary: Victor just wants to finally enjoy his weekend. But when weird reports of a man in a trench coat having been arrested for murder in some small town in Colorado are coming in and the names of the Winchester brothers are all of a sudden mentioned for the very first time in almost a decade inside the FBI building, Victor needs to kiss his free time goodbye. So instead of spending his days on the couch, eating all the takeout he can find and watching crappy movies, he all at once sees himself confronted with an unstable angel, incapable of controlling his powers, a hunter missing from the scene, nowhere to be found, and the other one worried out of his mind about his family. Yeah, that's not the quiet weekend Victor had been hoping for. At all.

You are my home | @DesiraeLovesDestiel Rating: Explicit Word Count: 4774 Main Tags and Warnings: canon verse, bunker fic, post season 11, Castiel whump, love confessions, profound bond, smut, angst Summary: “Cas? Hey buddy, wake up.” Castiel blinked his eyes open slowly, looking up at Dean owlishly before jolting up, nearly clipping Dean’s jaw on the way. “Hey, hey,” Dean said, concern lacing his tone. “You okay, man?” Castiel cleared his throat. “Yes. My apologies, Dean.” “S’okay. You wanna tell me why you’re sleeping in Baby?” Things have settled down since rescuing Sam. Mary is bonding with her sons, and Castiel is nearly back to full capacity, just needing a little sleep here and there. When Dean discovers Cas' unusual resting spot, what starts as a series confessions leads to the emotional healing they both needed.

If This Is To End In Fire | @reaperlove77 Rating: Explicit Word Count: 16279 Main Tags and Warnings: Alternate Universe, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Dean Winchester Whump, Supernatural Elements, Smut, Anal Sex, Temporary Character Death, Happy Ending, Past Abuse, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, Dean-Centric, Haunted Houses, Domestic Violence (not Dean/Cas), BAMF Castiel, Panic Attacks, Minor Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester, Slurs, Bottom Dean, Top Castiel, Gothic Elements Summary: Dean Winchester doesn't trust easy, not after everything he's been through. When he finds a new home and a new job in Kelvin's Point, he's almost ready to believe he also found happiness for the first time in his life. But what does he really know about this Castiel and is their love enough to keep the ghosts from the past away for good?

When Angels Cry | @sweetdaydreamsblog Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 1068 Main Tags and Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Major Character Death, Mentions of Suicide, Happy Ending, Hurt Dean Winchester, Emotionally Hurt Castiel Summary: Castiel remembers the events that transpired during Dean's last night on Earth, as well as what happened after.

Eyes Shut | @galaxystiel Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 1493 Main Tags and Warnings: AU, Human!Castiel, alcoholism, drunk driving, supernatural elements, angst with a happy ending Summary: Dean learns a lesson about the dangers of drink-driving, and in the process learns a few things about his future.

And I swear | @notfunnydean Rating: Explicit Word Count: 4413 Main Tags and Warnings: abusive relationship, Dean dates Arthur Ketch at first, hurt!Dean, break up between Arthur and Dean, first time, first kiss, bottom!Dean, top!Cas, crying Dean, Cas saves Dean Summary: Dean knows that Arthur is treating him badly, but he had worse in his life and besides, it’s not like the person he really loves wants him back.

I'm a sucker for you | @notfunnydean Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 3148 Main Tags and Warnings: Drunk!Dean, hurt!Cas Summary: Dean knows he and Castiel are a good team, but he only talks about his feelings for Castiel when he’s drunk and doesn’t remember their kisses in the morning. Someday Castiel has enough.

Event Horizon | @cas-lost-grace Rating: Mature Word Count: 6442 Main Tags and Warnings: Suicidal Thoughts, Suicidal Dean, Depression, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Past Character Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst,Texting, Sharing a Bed, Happy Ending, Veteran Dean, Doctor Dean, Writer Castiel Summary: Castiel couldn't have helped his sister. That's why being offered a chance to help somebody else dealing with suicidal thoughts he took it without hesitation. When he gets the first text from someone who needs his help, nothing goes as he expected.

Finding You, in Pieces of Me | @lunastories Rating: Mature Word Count: 21263 Main Tags and Warnings: Trueform Castiel, Angst with a happy ending, Post Sam's fall into the pit Summary: Dean is jaded after the loss of his brother and left with little to no hope in humanity. Castiel decides to show the world and humanity from his perspective so that Dean can regain the spark that he’s lost. They visit seven locations that have significance to Castiel. From the Cave of Crystals inhabited by an ancient eel spirit, to the Atacama Desert haunted by a heartbroken woman, Dean goes through a journey of self discovery. Slowly, Dean falls for Castiel and the world the angel sees.

Love me to Death | @lunastories Rating: Mature Word Count: 9219 Main Tags and Warnings: Death!Dean, Temporary Character Death, Reincarnation, Angst, Self harm Summary: There once was a man who feared Death. He feared him so much he tried to seek immortality, but his efforts were in vain. Eventually, he learned to love Death and everything he represented. This is the story of a mortal and a god and their love for one another.

Mixtapes (WIP) | silverstar2419 (Wattpad) Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 8407 Main Tags and Warnings: Depression, dealing with depression, mentions of attempted suicide Summary: Two years ago Dean tried to kill himself but Bobby stepped in and saved his life. Now he deals with his unwanted life the same he used to, strippers and beer. What happens when he finds out the person he loves as more than a friend (or brother for that matter) has the same feelings? Let's find out.

What We Ache For | @almaasi Rating: Explicit Word Count: 93115 Main Tags and Warnings: Alternate Universe - Prostitution, Sex Work, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Fluff, Consent, Sex Worker Castiel, Demisexual Castiel, Police Officer Dean, Affectionate Dean, Dean bottoms for the first time, Making Love, Cuddling and Snuggling, Injury Recovery, Temporary Amnesia, Supportive Sam, Castiel loves dogs, Domestic Fluff Summary: Working as a prostitute (that’s ‘sex worker’ to the decent folks), Castiel has heard more than his fair share of odd requests. When he’s paid to spend a night with Dean Winchester (handsome, dork of all dorks, has a nice car... secretly a cop), the last thing Castiel expects to hear are the words “I wanna make love.” That's the one thing he’s never done before – so Dean is going to show him how to do it. But then, barely a month after that night is over, Castiel finds himself in a difficult situation, and Dean is mistakenly summoned to help. They begin to share again: Dean’s apartment, the spare bed, their deepest secrets. Over time, with the support of Dean’s brother Sam, a mystery dog, and lots of cuddles, kisses, comfort, and tea, maybe Cas can finally be loved the way he deserves.

Lost Night | @almaasi Rating: General Word Count: 2608 Main Tags and Warnings: Canon Universe, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Brief Angst, Pre-Slash, Best Friends, Holding Hands, Dreams, Dreamwalking, Lucid Dreaming, Angel Castiel, Sad Dean, Mutual Pining Summary: Dean is so afraid of losing his best friend that he dreams Cas is floating away. His longing is great enough that the real-life Castiel is summoned, dreamwalking into Dean's subconscious – and, as The Beatles once said: "the minute you let him under your skin... then you begin to make it better..."

Unconditional | @almaasi Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 2676 Main Tags and Warnings: Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Fluff and Angst, Love Confessions, First Kiss, Unconditional Love, Human Castiel, Injured Castiel, Caring Dean, Abused Dean, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, Abusive John Winchester Summary: Over the years, Dean's learned a lot about himself, and the way he loves those around him. Now Cas is back from the dead, and he came back human - and hurt. As Dean soothes Cas' wounds in the front seat of the Impala, an ache in his heart drives him to find words to explain.

Mostly in Silence | @almaasi Rating: General Word Count: 4216 Main Tags and Warnings: Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Romance, Depression, Executive Dysfunction, Mental Health Issues, Self Care, Fallen Angel Castiel, Human Castiel, Castiel in the Bunker, Depressed Castiel, Sick Castiel, Caring Dean, Stargazing, Stars, Holding Hands, First Kiss, Poetic, No Spoilers, Always Keep Fighting, You are not alone Summary: Dean returns home to the bunker, only to find Castiel is lost in a deep depression. Taking their cues from the night sky (perhaps holding hands, perhaps sharing their first kiss), Dean helps Castiel rediscover a small but shining sense of hope.

Delirium and Doctor Sexy | @almaasi Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 9388 Main Tags and Warnings: Crack, Comfort, Fluff, Pre-Slash, Doctor Sexy M.D., Hunt Gone Wrong, Dean Hallucinates, Age Regression/De-Aging (mentally only), Bisexual Dean, Closeted Dean, Innocent Dean, Character Analysis, Dean Projects His Insecurities, Dean in Panties, Magic Made Them Do It, Sexual References, No Sex, Unresolved Romantic Tension Summary: Dean got hit by a wave of magical gas while protecting Sam, and now he's curled up in a motel bed, watching comfort TV on his laptop and hallucinating. Cas hangs around to look after him. But Dean thinks the friendly angel at his bedside is actually his favourite fictional beefcake, Dr. Sexy, M.D.. With all inhibitions on standby, Dean might admit a few things about himself he never dared to tell anyone before.

Dean, 2 pm | @sternchencas Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 1464 Main Tags and Warnings: suicidal thoughts, emotional hurt/comfort Summary: Cas is done with his life. He's ready to end it all. The only thing that might be able to change his mind is one little note in his calendar that says 'Dean, 2 pm'.

Patch Me Up | @babybluecas Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 1426 Main Tags and Warnings: canon universe, fallen!Cas, minor injury Summary: When Dean gets injured on a hunt, it's Cas's turn to take care of him.

Oh Death, Bring Him Back | @envydean Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 3984 Main Tags and Warnings: Modern AU, accountant!Cas, mechanic!Dean, hurt!Dean, Temporary Character Death, two-sided unrequited love, Pining, Major Character Injury, Angst with a Happy Ending, Angst, Fluff, First Kiss, Supernatural but Dean and Cas don't know about it, So much begging Summary: Dean is badly hurt after a bar fight and Castiel goes to see him only to find out that the news isn't good. However, supernatural forces are on their side. Castiel follows the doctor quickly, barely a pace behind him. It's as bad as he feared. What if he doesn't get the chance to tell Dean that he loves him. Even if Dean doesn't love him back. The room is reminiscent of a war zone. Several people are crowded around Dean's body. There's blood everywhere, machines going haywire and doctors barking orders. Castiel is frozen to the spot.

Don't Let Go | @envydean Rating: Mature Word Count: 28578 Main Tags and Warnings: EMT!Castiel, mechanic!Dean, alcoholic!Dean, Alcoholism, Car Accidents ,Hospitals, Recovery, PTSD, Descriptions of Injury, Angst with a Happy Ending, Angst, Trying to fall in love Summary: Dean Winchester’s life is a mess. Ever since his father’s death, a downward spiral has seen his occasional beer become something of a crutch. Then, a revelation has him going to see his brother in California—except he doesn’t make it and ends up in a nasty accident, destroying the Impala. Air rescue paramedic, Castiel, and his partner Benny are the ones to pull him out of the wreck and that’s just the start of it. He forms a tentative friendship with Dean and manages to convince him he needs help and that he can be there for Dean. It should have been all uphill from there—because getting sober is easy, right?—except it isn’t and their relationship is thrown into turmoil at the wrong time. Slowly, they learn to accept each other once again.

Like Sands Through The Hourglass | BiP (AO3) Rating: General Word Count: 1643 Main Tags and Warnings: illness Summary: It's always Florida, and it's always witches.

Battle of Mind and Body | @light-in-my-darkness Rating: Explicit Word Count: 164466 Main Tags and Warnings: Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Sexual Content, PTSD, Whump, Slow Build, Additional Warnings in Notes Summary: A confession. A car accident. A coma. The results of which lead Castiel and Dean on a destructive path. Their family and friends fight to alter that path, but without knowing the truth of that fateful night, they fear their efforts will fail. Determined to box up the pain and humiliation, Castiel falls into depression and self-harm. In the aftermath of that night, Dean confronts his own demons. Both the angel and the hunter struggle to repair the broken pieces of themselves. As they try, will the dark nature of their world stay at bay long enough for them to heal or will it shatter any progress they made?

Taker of Souls | jscribbles (AO3) Rating: Explicit Word Count: 128664 Main Tags and Warnings: temporary major character death, Minor Character Death, Pining, Slow Burn, non-con, dub-con, Blood, Gore, Body mutilation, Self Harm, zombie-type characters, Hallucinations, Nightmares, horror-imagery, shameless use of horror movie tropes, offensive language/insults, spoilers for The Witch ,the boys cry, Sickness, Sweat ,Mud, Possession, canon-calibre discussions of religion, the evil dead 2013 Crossover, Inspired By, Smut, minor prescription drug use, Vomiting, Summary: The angels have fallen. Castiel is human, Sam is recovering from the trials, and Dean doesn’t want to expose them to the world as it’s crumbling outside the bunker doors. To pass time in their solitude, Dean discovers a hidden room in the bunker full of dangerous magical artifacts and accidentally exposes his friends and family to an ancient horror. If Castiel thought adjusting to humanity was already a terror in itself, he experiences a world of pain when the ancient spirit Dean released chooses him as a vessel to fulfill its evil prophecy. Castiel begins to change as voices call out to him in the night and take the form of the one righteous man he desires, temptation drawing him to complete a ritual that will allow one of Hell’s most feared ancient entities to occupy his vessel. Before Sam, Dean, Kevin and Crowley know what is happening, they are thrown into a lockdown, unable to escape the bunker as the cruel, twisted monster inside of Castiel prowls the hallways, hunting them, thirsty for their blood, hungry for their souls.

[heartfeltheart]

Alchemy: Magic Vs. Science

Chapters: 7/25 Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist/Harry Potter Rating: T Relationships: Edward/Winry, Lan Fan/Ling, and May/Alphonse. Primary Characters: Edward Elric, Severus Snape Additional Tags: Crossover, Teacher!Edward, BrOtp Edward/Severus. Sassy beyond measure. Series: Part 1 of 9. Summary: Magic and Science, are they the same or are they completely different? It just takes one person to point out all up and downs. Along with breaking the stereotypes that come up with being a wizard, alchemist and most of all being human. Thank you, @amynchan! D/C: I do not own Harry Potter or Fullmetal Alchemist. Discord: La Red(Mesh Mash of… stuff.): https://discord.gg/KYjmVAb Alchemy Series: https://discord.gg/DejEYNJ

“English and Edward’s accented voice.” “Amestrian or another foreign language.” “Written notes.” ‘Thoughts.’ First Name: Informal Last Name: Formal (Or used to annoy others)

"Are you zure you do not mind?" Edward asked Severus, matching the Potion Master's strides as they headed down towards said professor's classroom. The blonde twitched consistently the deeper they headed down into the school. He swore the school really wants him out but it's going to take much more than that to get him out...That thought made pause momentarily. Since when did he think the school as a...thing? A living thing? "Ugh...Dis school is koing to be the end of me?"

"Something the matter, Mr. Elric?" Severus asked, taking note of Edward's constant twitching and how his accent started to return in full blast.

"Dis school hades me." Edward stated evenly, he walked down a staircase along with Severus when the professor suddenly grabbed hold of Blonde's shoulders making him stop walking. Edward looked over at Severus questioningly, his eyes widen in shock when he felt the staircase move underneath them. "What the truth!"

Edward clung onto Severus in complete terror as the staircase moved. Severus stared at Edward unamused by his actions but did not comment on it. When they had left Edward's room early, the staircase's did not move and neither he or Filius commented about the magical staircases. "Vat the truth is dis?"

"Magical staircases." Severus stated he pushed Edward forward once the staircase stopped moving. "Move."

Edward grumbled under his breath as he allowed Severus to push him forward. He began to mentally repeat chemical formulas in his head to calm himself down. Once they had arrived at the location, Edward couldn't help but stare at the general area they were in. "Are ve in the dungeon?"

"Yes...yes we are." Severus stated, he opened the main door that leads into his classroom. When Edward entered the classroom, his eyes widen in astonishment. Of course, he had an image in his mind about said location from Severus. But words gave no justice to what he was seeing in front of him. Severus glanced back to see Edward glancing through the cabinets with a look of wonder and astonishment. He chuckled under his breath as he turned back around and headed towards his desk. After all, the Potion's Master has to get his first of the year ready. Severus made a mental note to make a potion to cure help him with headaches.

Severus prepared for his first class and Edward looking around the classroom with curious eyes, a tranquil silence fell over them. On occasion, Severus would glance over to see what Edward is doing to ensure he is not hurting himself. On the latest glance, he saw the Blonde sitting in a stool with a book in hand. A close glance to see that said book is a book about flours and herbs, both magical and the non-magical variety.

The main entrance of the classroom opened and slowly trickled in students, all dressed in uniforms. The only differences they had are the colors of their scarves, ties, crest and the lining of their robes. One group yellow and black, the other group blue and bronze. They entered the class and quietly took their seats and took out the necessary items for that class period. A lot of them shot Edward curious looks, as they did not expect to see the Alchemy Professor in the dungeons.

Severus looked up to see that his classroom filled with Hufflepuff's and Ravenclaw's sixth years. At least he wasn't starting the day with first years...let alone with Gryffindor's. He saw one Hufflepuff standing awkwardly, looking at Edward's chair. Ended up said guy had taken the chair that said Hufflepuff should be using. "Elric."

Nothing...

"Elric."

Nothing...

"Mr. Elric..."

"Ko avay...I am reading..." Edward mumbled under his breath, huddling closer to the book.

"I have more books in my office." Severus stated, he did not want to get close to Edward as he was lost in his own little world. He did not want a repeat of what happened that morning. If it wasn't for his high collared robes, then people could see there is a blossoming bruise there.

Fortunately for everyone, Edward peaked over the book. When he did, he saw how the classroom is now filled with students. His brow's furrowed when he saw a Hufflepuff staring at him awkwardly. "Ven did they get here?"

"Mr. Elric...The class is about to start."

"Fine."

-.-

"Who the bloody hell is he?"

"He's the new Alchemy Professor."

"I've never seen Professor Snape so..."

"Nice? Is that the proper word to use?"

"If that would have been anyone else, Professor Snape would have given them detention or take away points."

"Just who is this bloke?"

"Vat are dey taking about." Edward whispered to Severus who was sitting at his desk. Severus resisted the urge to jump out of his seat. He was sitting at his desk after telling the Sixth years what they needed to do. After doing a couple of rounds and ensuring the brats won't blow themselves up, Severus sat down at his desk. He started to go over a list of students who he believes Edward would approve for his class. All the while Edward is in his office reading away. So that is why it came to a surprise that said guy crept up to him and whispered to him. Even if Severus could not see his face, he could tell Edward took amusement to his amusement. "Well?"

"I believe they are talking about you." Severus stated under his breath glaring at the grinning blonde.

"The usual den?" Edward snorted, he then promptly handed Severus several sheets of paper.

Severus took the sheets of paper with a raised eyebrow. Scanning through the sheets of papers, he saw that they were questions and tidbits of personal notes that Edward made for himself. "You want answers?"

"Well duh..." Edward deadpanned, he had somehow found a chair and scooted himself next to the Potions Master. "I never heard of an of deze dings, could you show me vat it is?"

Severus did not say anything as he reread the list and comparing it to the list to what he has in his inventory. There are only a few things that are not in his inventory...as said items are extremely hard to get. "This is what...this is..."

-.-

"What the hell did that idiot get himself into this time?" Roy Mustang stared at his notes he created after reading a letter that Edward sent to him. He does not know if the letter should be a concern or the fact said letter was delivered by an owl. The owl had swooped in, dropped the letter on his desk, rip up his paperwork, took all of his pens, and even had the gall to poop on his head. Then finally flew off... Roy swore the owl gave him a devious look when it flew off. It is the same look that a former Fullmetal Alchemist gave him. After grueling hours of decoding the letter, Roy finally decoded the letter and even then the Flame Alchemist is still debating if he actually decoded it. "Magic? Wizards? Magical Alchemy? Can't you take an actual vacation without getting yourself into complications...?"

"Is something the matter, sir?" Riza Hawkeye asked, taking note of Mustang's look of complete seriousness.

"Get me in contact with Fuhrer Grumman... That idiot did the impossible again."

"In what level of impossible this time?"

"The Elric kind."

-.-

Edward looked up losing his previous train of thought, he swore that Mustang is going to make his life hell. With a shrug, he went back to looking through student files of potential candidates for his class. He sat on the corner of his desk, in his classroom looking through personal files of potential candidates for his class. Sitting on the actual chair behind the desk is Severus and sitting on a tall stool on the other side of the desk is Filius.

"I think that I might have to rethink mein teaching plans." Edward stated, placing a file on the desk and promptly rugged his temples in frustration. "The students that vant to take dis class, have no packground in certain subjects in order to learn it. I vould have to teach them zaid subjects and that vould require time and.... badience from both sides..."

"Knowing you.... You barely have enough of it." Severus stated, glancing through a couple of files.

Edward was going to retort but stopped himself, he then shrugged in agreement. "I am actually more vorried if I end up in prison by the end of mein first teaching week. Okay...dis year is going to be a very...very...long one."

"Do you have an idea how you are going approach this?" Filius asked, looking over at Edward nervously. Even if Edward meant it as a joke, the whole bit of about ended up in prison has him on edge.

"Tests." Edward responded he began picking up multiple pieces of paper and took out a wooden pencil from his pocket. "A zimple test...

"Simple? In whose terms, Edward?"

Edward glanced over at Severus once more, he doesn't know if he should be surprised by the actual fact Severus called him by his first name or take his words in complete consideration. After all, he is dealing with students that have no prior knowledge of what Alchemy is. From the time he spent in the Magical World and what Severus told him, science is not taught in the form he knew. For the ones that grew up in in a non-magical household would also have difficulty. As they stopped their 'muggle' education to learn a magical one. Plus...Edward is considered to be a prodigy when it comes to Alchemy... He can't really compare himself to all of them. It just wouldn't be fair. "Dat is a very good question. I know a lot the vast majority of dem will not know or understand vat I will be teaching."

"Ah...A test of knowledge. To gauge to see what they know and go from there?"

"Yep..."

"Let me guess...No age requirement?" Severus asked, remembering what Edward told him about his Alchemist Examination Test.

"Nah, as long as the student has common sense den it should all be okay." Edward stated with a tight grin, his eyes did not portray the humor in his statement. Oh, common sense... If only he had any while growing up half the time. Then again, common sense tends to lead him to more trouble than anything else.

"Will that is a good idea though?" Filius asked. "About not having age restrictions. I know you started at a young age and done quite a few things, but... students here are..."

"The test vill show me what they know, vat they belieffe and how much they dezire to learn Alchemy." Edward explained to Filius, his shoulders sagged slightly and turned his attention out the window. "Depending how much they know, then I will teach them from that point."

"Now you have to tell Pomona and Minerva of this."

"Eh..."

-.-

"Hufflebuff... Hufflebuff... Hufflebuff..." Edward muttered under his breath, he headed down to the greenhouses. After his time with Severus and Filius, they pointed their way to Pomona Sprout classroom. Just filling him enough of information about the professor and attributes of a Hufflepuff. Edward couldn't help but think of his brother. "Hufflebuff."

Standing in front of the greenhouse, Edward debated to if he should get in. He doesn't know if the Professor is in the middle of a class. Taking in a deep breath, Edward knocked curtly against the door before opening the door and peeked his head into the greenhouse. His eyes widen at the sight of the different variety of plants in the building. He could recognize a very few from the book Severus let him borrow to read. Whispers broke him out of his musings, he turned his head to see that the greenhouse filled with first years, Gryffindor's and Slytherin's by the looks of it. The reason he knows they are first years because Fred and George are there...both of them wearing big fluffy earmuffs. Thinking about it, everyone was wearing earmuffs. Looking at the Professor, who was giving him a look of surprise and attempting to signal him frantically.

Edward did not understand what Pomona was trying to communicate with him. It wasn't until one of the students pulled out a freakish looking plant from one of the pots and it started to scream. All the students either filched due to the crying the plant thing was doing, looked completely aghast or with fascination. No one had taken note of the Alchemy Professor has passed out due to the high pitch deathlike scream.

'So that is why she warning me about...'

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