#i need to become good at something. at what i love ideally
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weirdmarioenemies · 2 days ago
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Name: Needlenose
Debut: Sonic the Hedgehog CD
You know me! I love funny flies, and I love funny robots! And who else but The Good Doctor Eggm'n to supply me with the goods? We meet in a dark alley in trenchcoats, and he slips me a mechanical mosquito.
Needlenose is, quite frankly, a perfect cartoon mosquito! If you want to depict a Fantastic Funny Fly, you need big ol' eyes, wings, and a proboscis, with a negligible amount of body to keep it all together. And if it's a mosquito, the proboscis must be pointy, of course! If I can't be punctured by it, it is a subpar mosquito!
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Needlenose is such a perfect name for this thing. Look at it! Yeah. An insect's proboscis is not actually its nose, of course, but if you think "Needlenose" is not a good name for this creature, then, well, a ghost is going to get you. Sorry, but you would deserve it.
Needlenose isn't here to take any of your blood. It's not even here to inject any strange substances into your bloodstream. It's just here to administer a Pesky Poke! Yeowch! But at least the needle looks rather pristine and sterile. There are worse things to be stabbed by, I suppose. Now, there is something you need to knows, about this needle nose!
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So far, we have been looking at the typical Needlenose, seen in its ideal form. In the Bad Future, however, it has evidently gotten into some sort of non-lethal scuffle, causing its needular nozzle to become bent! Maybe it crashed into a rock at high speed. I don't know. But at least the rest of it is still in working order!
I may adore the base Needlenose design, but the simple act of bending its proboscis a bit gives it SO much character. From little more than a tool, to a bug with backstory! It makes me imagine Needlenoses bending their noses on purpose in unique ways, as a form of self-expression. What a lovely thought!
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Needlenose is so simple, yet so instantly charming, and many artists know it, because it has appeared in many official comics! This one here was reprogrammed to be helpful, so it's like a Goodnik! The 30th anniversary comic has some among a crowd of Badniks trying to destroy Sonic in order to give Eggman a very happy birthday. Even when they're objectively evil, you just have to love little Needlenose!
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brightvelvet · 21 hours ago
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I'm going through season 1 of Rings of Power again before I start watching season 2. There's so much to talk about, but what I want to talk about here is Halbrand. Specifically, Halbrand and what he meant to Galadriel. **NOT WRITTEN WITH HALADRIEL IN MIND**.
For one, looking at interactions, these two don't feel like friends. There's no casual exchange of friendly words or touches. Galadriel looks at Halbrand and sees so many things. He's rough around the edges and wary, handsome if grody, and too clever. His goodness wasn't apparent from the get-go, and it appeals so well to Galadriel's own seeming struggle with darkness. They're equals, but Galadriel's watching Halbrand to see what he does as much as he's evaluating her.
Galadriel wasn't being wise or powerful when she kept coming back to Halbrand and his potential royal bloodline. To be clear, she doesn't trust anyone. She can only go to him because he won't care enough to use her and he's too kind to say no. Most importantly, she recognizes his type, someone she doesn't want to leave by their lonesome. Maybe it was selfish of her, to keep dragging Halbrand into her journey, but I don't think so. Halbrand was a cracked reflection of her flaws and strengths, and so she treats him not like any friend or ally. She treats him like he's cut from the same cloth as her, like he's a mirror of herself. She pushed him like she wished someone would push her. Unfortunately, we know that Halbrand was incredibly receptive to this.
For two, Halbrand's reciprocation to her actions just enflames their strange, intimate dynamic. Galadriel pushes hard, asking more and more of Halbrand and it seems harsh from the outside. Yet Halbrand stays with her step by step, taking in her commands and demands. Galadriel pushes so much of her own expectations on him and when she thinks of him the words -thank you- must surface. She realizes how tired she is of carrying everyone's expectations alone. Her gratefulness and guilt for him sharing her burden are what finally manifest Halbrand as that mythical King in her mind. Not his silver tongue or Southland's crest. They speak the same language, 'favors' as a weak cover for the fact that they are too loyal to ever refuse the other. She meets him at the bow of the ship and acknowledges this attachment. It becomes something she holds close to her chest in the absence of anything else. Not love, but some type of dream fantasy/fulfillment where Galadriel doesn't have to fight alone.
For three, Galadriel watches Halbrand fight the orcs and it cements something in place. Galadriel appreciated Halbrand before, was grateful and saw good qualities, but here we see that she genuinely doesn't want to let him go. She was never interested in redeeming his bloodline, not really. The 'bloodline right' was to convince other people of her cause and his glory. She never needed a material reason to want better for him. But now it sets a line between them. He was her equal when he was a low man but now he is a King and he has other obligations. It threatens to drag him from her, and I mean drag because he's demonstrated on a few occasions that he's just as attached, and she's conflicted. Maybe some part of her wants to grab him and run. It's not simple, what she feels for him. It's not simple what his person does for her. And the thing is, she knows what the correct course of action is. He looks noble, acts noble, and hundreds of Southlanders need him. He would be the King they were Promised. So she begins to let him go in her mind, loosen her dream from her heart, because she won't keep him. He'll become one of her ideals (like Elrond, like her husband, like her brother) and she'll remember their time together as bittersweet.
In the end, Sauron grows impatient of Halbrand.
Her dream dies when Halbrand eventually asks for the one thing Galadriel wouldn't give.
Halbrand himself dies a dishonorable, screaming death. His pupils shrink to slits, his eyes shot through with red. His teeth become ungainly and sharp. His skin turns grey and darkens with visible veins.
Galadriel turns her blade against him.
She'd looked up to him on his mortal, Kingly pedestal. She'd envied him, been so proud, and wanted to steal him away. And in the wake of his utter betrayal, she has to try and think past the flames.
Halbrand's dead, even if he never existed in the first place. She can't mourn him, for so many reasons, and she must immediately get ready for battle because her massive fuck-up could cost the lives of everyone she loves.
Halbrand's ghost will haunt her though, and I'm sure not just in the form of her worst nightmare come to life.
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mihai-florescu · 3 months ago
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Im never being a hater again im a reformed man!!! Im a being full of love only, shabby and foolish, but that's okay
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loverboybrightsideghost · 2 months ago
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fuck i really am a perfectionist FUCK
#i’ll just be sitting there thinking some shit like i wish i could find the Ideal Way to do Everything surely it can’t be that hard surely if#i just keep trying different things different self-imposed systems surely i’ll find one that will get me to do everything- ah lads#AH LADS NOT AGAIN!!!!#good that i’ve started noticing though#before i’d just have the thought#now i can actually realize when i have a thought that boils down to ‘if i try hard enough i can become perfect’#coughs. coughs very discreetly and awkwardly.#i will still keep trying to be the best person best musician i can but. how do i separate that from perfectionism? how do I JUST GO HOW DO#JUST LIVE?#computer search how to become a perfect being. i mean computer search how to become able to function on command#rather than forcing myself to do things#even if it’s. IM GONNA FUCKING SCREAM this is just like when i yelled at my friend in the practice rooms#i love her and we have good conversations but i think there we reached a point where we really couldn’t help each other anymore#not like in GENERAL just in that. i have my problems and I FUCKING KNOW what they are but. i don’t know! it’s just not art fucking easy!#why is it not fucking easy it should be fucking easy! why am i scared of everything!#is everyone scared of everything??????#I NEED A THERAPIST MOMENT NUMBER FIVE THOUSAND#i might not even need a therapist though maybe i’m just fucking growing up#BUT I’D LIKE TO NOT HAVE AN UNDERCURRENT OF FEAR ON ALMOST EVERY TIME#not every time i’ve gotten better but it creeps back like the water and im like oh you and then i#can’t pull the stopper why can’t i pull the FUCKIN stopper it’s right there it’d be so easy and#nothing repels me except something mysterious some the water the water repels me#just by being there the water will not harm me it will not affect me in any way and i know this and i fear the water#should i write a fuckin poem. lmfao.
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lilliryth · 15 days ago
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See the problem is that, if Albert Wesker were real, as in the combination of canon and headcanon that lives in my heart, I would love him, dearly. If Albert Wesker were real in the sense of a man grown from our own world but with the same combination of privilege, trauma, and conventional good looks that Wesker has, he would be a complete bastard, just a violent and predatory monster. That’s one highly-anecdotal and specific example, but the same goes for nearly every multi-faceted character I can think of. I remember that one post that was making fun of people for still liking Tony Stark, when we know what billionaires who erect towers named after themselves are actually like.
There’s a certain cognitive dissonance that happens here, I think, but it doesn’t have to be. Really, we’re talking about two different people here. You have the character—the same character, superimposed in our world—and then, you have who the character would likely be if they were to occur naturally. It’s precisely why The Boys is such a compelling show, because it explores all of this through the cultural phenomenon of superheroes. We all love our complicated little Guys. We’d hate them if they were “real”.
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#it’s especially funny when a character was specifically MADE to be a reflection of the real world but oopsidaisies me fag fall in love#wesker is a good example because he’s basically the ubermensch as described by the nazis#but i can take that and extrapolate on the trauma of being golden-childed x10000 and draw inspo from the lebensborn children#so he becomes this beautiful analogy for abuse and redemption in my head#meanwhile whatever he’d be in our world would probably more closely align with capcom’s original vision of the slimy bleach-blond cop#but fuck that i wanna feel#even more recently and funnily#movie robotnik in sonic 1 was just a straight lampoon of elon musk#hence the use of ‘drones’ instead of ‘pawns’#but in the eyes of his fanbase AND his creators became something much closer to what i said with whisker#except the opposite. wesker was the hegemonic ideal then abandoned and forced to reconcile with it#robotnik was born with natural talent into circumstances that made him feel like nothing and spends his life compensating#both fell into their own ego trap of recognizing one’s own genius but then making it your identity with no concession for love & compassion#then uh. get immolated by fire with an open ending#i stg everyone i love just falls into a volcano or explodes#there has to be trope research done on that. the idea that flames cleanse the soul therefore a fire death is featured in every redempt. arc#maybe it’s the legend of the phoenix#or something else like. to improve is a literal firewalk#but now that im writing this yeah#shit’s extremely pervasive and fascinating#if you haven’t noticed btw my actual comment was just on the reblog. these tags are just me being autistic about guys#think my add kicked in and im convinced i gotta change the world#calm down fucker we need to do the dishes first#then we can steal the declaration of independence#hi person reading this far sorry for the unnecessary brain clutter#unless you’re night. in which case hi. i see you’re pleasantly watching me set myself on fire before shooting off into space again#analysis#fandom#writing
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kroosluvr · 5 months ago
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temptation
i lowkey have too many notes to write down properly KDFHKDS but ill write them down for Future Cele so i can read it later and be like omggg past cele ur so fun and interesting
in general, the more "color" the scenes have, the closer it is to "real life" as opposed to the muted/hushed winter blues of maruki's reality
i.e. the dark frames w akira smiling and the very last panel are when reality sinks in: first for akira, then for goro
by the way this is long winter au but sumire is still brainwashed. this also works for canonverse but i just had long winter au in mind:o
youve heard of laundry and taxes now get ready for coffee and pastries
in every panel, akira is smiling! :) and goro is very much not smiling.
intentionally his face is hidden in the last 2 pages so its unclear whether it's the "ideal reality" already (akira/goro's daydreams/wants/desires), or if goro is still fighting akira on making sure he picks the right choice
the smoke from the first page kinda leads into the 3rd page omfg COMPLETELY UNINTENTIONAL BUT REALLY COOL LMAOOO
that's nameless and belladonna in jazz jin!!! i love them. I LOVETHEM. i miss them so bad is it obvious
the cafe is loosely based off of caffe strada @ uc berkeley LMAO. my parents used to take me there a lot as a little kid so that's the first cafe i think of when i imagine one. its like right on the streetside, basically on the sidewalk, so its very bustling and people are always walking by... probably a little disconcerting to see everyones summery bright smiles despite the bitter cold and snow
in long winter AU, the Ideal Reality starts before 1/1 so yeah they get to see the new years fireworks together (or something)
also intentional that they wear the same winter outfits in the whole comic although it Probably does not take place at the same time. in maruki's snowglobe, time seems frozen in place... but akira and goro are both acutely aware that the sands are running thru QUICK
goro's frustrated expression on page 3 is one also of disdain: "don't speak FOR me you fucking imbecile" type of expression.
goro, who's never lived a normal life and therefore doesn't know much abt "normalcy" nor really actively seeks it. this 3rd semester is basically purgatory for him and he doesn't care to try and go through the motions the way akira does. akira what do YOU know about the type of "normalcy" i deserve? how do YOU know if i "deserve" that?
im thinking that this is a naive akira who is mostly set on taking the deal because he feels hopeless... seeing all his friends with good happy lives while goro and himself are alive and miserable and shouldering the weight of the world during the horror of long winter......
oh but if he takes the deal they could all be good and alive and happy!!!.... and goro knows this. i feel like in any other universe (i.e. akira is 100% certain on not taking the deal and goro knows this) then goro would be happy and carefree to do these little indulgences for himself and akira's sake, to just enjoy the snowglobe world while it exists.
but this goro is discontent. he sees how akira is enjoying the snowglobe and knows maruki is depending on this. goro has to be the one to remind akira that none of this is his to keep........ in this fucked up world, routine is dangerous. becoming comfortable is dangerous. they cannot keep any of this.
on that note, goro says "i hate you" in a halfhearted sort of way (it's not true and akira knows that.) but he's trying to think of a way that he can dissuade akira from picking the wrong choice.....
and i think the thing is, goro thinks all of this, but he still falls into the rhythm of routine with akira anyway. in a way, goro feels hopeless too.
all of this is maruki's doing........ paralyzed by the inability to choose... whatever you do, you lose. goro needs to hold akira at arm's length so the stupid sentimental fool doesn't get too attached and falls into the wrong universe. akira needs to make a concentrated effort to detach himself from goro even though he wants the simplest thing in the world: just one more unremarkable day with him. it's lose-lose..........,
also i liked drawing the tentacles in the last pic the freaking blue lines on them were SO satisfying to draw
edit: also the last page: the blood flooding the panel….. the idea of the ideal world being built off of the blood and sweat and tears and bodies of the people who could have been. of those lost in the actualization, of those destroyed, of those stitched together and brought back to life. all just for a little false happiness. goro sees it but akira doesn’t, and it’s a grim sight.
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celesterayel · 1 year ago
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something out of my dreams | luke castellan
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pairing : luke castellan x dionysus!reader
request: could you possibly write a luke x daughter of dionysus please? maybe she’s like super nice and when percy gets to camp she becomes like an older sister and luke is super whipped for her? @elz-zalarrr
IN WHICH — all he knows is that you were something out of his dreams.
"trust him like a brother, yeah, you know i did one thing right. starry eyes sparkin' up my darkest night" - t.s.
w.c. 1.8k
warning(s) : cheesiness ゜✭・.
✩ ‧₊˚ author's note okay i've begun to realize that low-key i feel like i write in cursive if that makes sense? if a feeling could describe it i'd say its like using poetry to write? that's likely not any better lol :)
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there was but one person that everyone could agree they adored at camp half blood.
it didn't matter what grudge who had with whom or what ancient rivalries transcended the ideals of reality, everyone loved you. not the typical type of brittle love that crumbled at the slightest of touches, but pure adoration that endured the sands of time.
you with the gentle soul, who healed others with each laugh and smile. when new half-godlings were brought to camp, you made sure to comfort them and make them understand that they belonged here and would find a home whether they wanted to or not. you made sure that no birthday was forgotten, no deed undone.
children of minor gods or elders, of Ares or Aphrodite, you became an older sister to all who needed you. you, the daughter of fertility and chaos, the god dionysius.
there was no debate that at camp half blood there was only a before you and an after you. you were like that high right before the free fall–invincibility and smoke and curiosity wrapped into the form of a demi-god. you were the gentle breeze during summer nights when the heat became too much. and none ached more to feel it than luke castellan, who had been burning for as long as he knew.
your relationship in itself was tentative, you danced around your feelings–scared one wrong touch or word would break the shaky, fine line that lay between you two. but you could not hide the way you loved the other to yourselves nor the children of the beings of divine blood. 
luke castellan loved you like the stars would fall out of the sky with one harsh touch, free and incandescently self-destructive. like you were a wild, wonderful thing out of a fantasy.
you loved him like there was no hell or heaven but the cosmos that lay in his eyes and the worlds that lay in his soul. something so sacred and rare. a love so true and mortal it put all the greek tragedies to shame. 
you knew that whatever you and him were made of, in every lifetime or the next you two were made for each other. 
loving luke castellan would be both your redemption and destruction in the making, your elysium for whatever good thing you had done in your previous life. 
✩ ‧₊˚
you first met percy jackson when he came to camp, he was a scared little thing who had just lost his mother when the veil between reality and deception flickered. everything he’d known came crumbling as quickly as the truth was uncovered: gods and monsters were real and played games of hell and heaven on earth. some thing about him called out to the vulnerability you once knew when you first came to camp so you made it your mission to be the sister he never had. 
you met him at the front of the steps of the main office, “my name is y/n, percy jackson. welcome to camp halfblood.”
“do you just somehow know everyones name,” he raised his eyebrows at you. 
“yes.” no, but you supposed it’d be fun to let him think that. 
“of course you do.”
“come along, i’ll show the ins and outs here. if you're nice enough, i might let you in on the cook's secret stash of blue ice cream,” you laughed out.
he contemplated his choices before grabbing your outstretched hand and shaking it, “deal.”
you showed him who to avoid and the best people to befriend. the history between your kind and why the gods were as they were. the truth behind his bloodline and the legacy that he was now responsible for. the tribulations and the pain that was cursed to follow the children of the gods. 
“and this is chris. the best person to ask if you need to know what plants are poisonous,” you say, introducing him to a guy with black hair and soft eyes. 
percy looks at chris before looking around to see where the hermes boy is, “we’ve met. he was with luke when he was showing me around”
you’re cheeks heated at the mention of his name; looking around to see if you can spot the familiar tan skin and soft eyes that belong to your luke. 
“oh! luke! yeah, he’s around here somewhere. he’s sly like that, wandering and then popping up the next second.”
a voice pipes up behind you suddenly, “y/n, already telling percy everything about me?” 
you whirl around and there he stands in all his glory with the curls you love and the sun in his eyes. your golden boy.
“just telling him the truth, castellan. you’re hard to get a hold of sometimes.”
a hue of pink covers his cheeks, “i’m never far from you.”
both of you oblivious to percy and chris who seem to be conversing about you both and the tip-toe dance you play. 
percy just wonders what’s happening here: firstly, luke is looking at you like you’ve hung the moon and the stars and that’s saying something because he has shit observation skills–his analysis essays can attest to that. secondly, he swears he can see hearts in his eyes from where he’s standing and is that…is that a blush?
he turns to chris, who is just staring at the two like it's not out of the normal for what’s happening, “what’s happening here? is he blushing?”
chris just nods, “yeah. luke’s kinda–very obviously to everyone–in love with y/n. if i didn’t know better i’d say she’s gotten him insane in love. very likely as her dad’s the god of insanity.”
he turns back to the two who are laughing and standing closer than before, “like super, super in love. if there was a word for love, luke’s found it”
“huh.” 
chris says it like it’s common knowledge like how the best food is blue jelly beans, “i mean i ship it, y/n’s the sweetest person around here–the type of person people write songs about. she’s like a sister to us older ones and a mother to the younger ones. the whole camp is waiting for him to just man up and ask y/n. they make each other happy, you know?”
“yeah, i think i do.” 
percy thinks it’s something the poets would write about.
✩ ‧₊˚
fridays are capture the flag days.
you’re not the type of person to engage in these types of games all that often but you suppose there’s a first time for everything. someone’s got to show the percy boy how it’s played. 
“okay, percy. remember, keep your senses open and make sure that no one gets close enough to engage. once they engage, it’s hard to fight them off.”
all around you two, people have begun to don their armor and raise arms. the sun has just reached its height and you’re huddled together discussing your gameplan. even though your cabin house is pretty small, you’ve joined athena and hermes for this game. 
percy’s voice rises a little high as he tries swinging his sword around only to drop it, “yeah, okay. i’ll just try not to die, i guess. that’s not like hard or anything.”
“just follow my lead and if i’m not here find luke.”
you're not exactly excited about percy’s odds. the kid is lanky as is and his sassiness doesn’t help him out much when others target him for it. 
that’s exactly why you’re gone to his rescue when he nearly gets hit in the face by a spear after he insulted one of the boys from house ares. 
your heel nearly buckles under a sharp hit after you block the attack that’s directed to percy. you manage to reset your heel and push the sword off before you drop down into a crouch and sweep the legs of the warrior in front of you.
unfortunately you're slightly too focused on what’s in front of you and protecting percy you don’t realize that someones charging toward you from the side. 
fortunately, a block from a familiar sword stops any attack that might meet you head on. no sooner do you hear the block that luke’s got the other guy on the floor and surrendering. 
you grin at him, “i had that handled.”
giving you that grin that makes you feel like your future's right in front of you, he replies: “i’m sure you did. but why let you deal with him when i can save you the trouble.” 
“why don’t you go and help annabeth win the games, romeo.”
he gives you a wink, throwing a quick ‘yes ma’am’ before he’s already running off again. 
no sooner than later, a quick gong resounds throughout the camp, concluding the games. you’re standing slightly battered while percy walks behind you pointing out all the flowers he’s found. you definitely need to teach him how to defend himself. 
the players are just trickling in for the woods they’ve been fighting in to reband together and in the distance you see a figure running toward you. 
holding onto the flag, he continues to look at you like you’re everything he’s ever needed to breathe. he’s taken his helmet off and you can finally see him fully: brown eyes and all dimples.
“see you’ve found the flag.”
he takes a couple of steps closer to you until only two steps separate him and you, “yeah, someone told me to go win the game so I did just that for her”.
“really now?”
he whispers, “yeah.” 
his eyes twinkle and you’ve never wanted anything more than to continue to stare at them. 
you hope he’ll make the next move but luke castellan, the boy you’ve fallen for in every lifetime, is always content to admire you.
so, you take those two next steps, grab him by his neck, and press your lips to his. 
he stands shocked for a minute, wondering if what’s happening is really happening. but no sooner, he’s dropped the flag on the grass and holds you like your the greatest treasure he’s ever had.
there’s a certain type of tragedy that your golden boy tastes like, fire and freedom all in this moment. it’s the price of redemption and damnation that you’re willing to pay. 
to him, it’s the stars aligning like you’d will them to–the power you held and every thing he’s ever needed. your his past, future, and present: the threads in his life giving him the one thing he’s ever wanted. something he’s only ever dreamed of. 
he pulls back slightly before murmuring, “in every lifetime or the next, i am yours. i don’t know what i did to deserve you. you’re something only out of my dreams, y/n.”
"you sap"
you just kiss him again, ignoring all the campers and those still trickling in. 
✩ ‧₊˚
“definitely a child of dionysius. she’s reduced him to insanity,” pipes up percy as he tears off the petals of the flower he holds in his hand. 
chris just grabs a flower and continues to rip the petals off like the boy beside him. 
“damn straight!” shouts luke toward the two.
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star-anise · 7 months ago
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Currently getting my socks clean blown off by Rethinking Narcissism, by Dr. Craig Malkin. Which I found, in a roundabout way, from this video on Midsommar, grief, and narcissism.
Tonight I woke up from a nap and accidentally took my morning meds, so I'm going to be up for a few hours because of the meth. In place of sleep, I'll try to roughly sum up some basic ideas proposed by the research the book is based on:
That traits of "narcissism" like entitlement, grandiosity, and feeling special are not inherently toxic. There are times and places they are appropriate and beneficial. If you show up at a hospital with a gunshot wound to the chest, you should not sit and wait to be seen after people with earaches and coughs. (Actually, medical systems are designed to prioritize people with more urgent needs, and you qualify under that system. You are special and are deserving of different treatment than those others, which is why making your needs known, even insisting on it if you're not listened to appropriately the first time, is an extremely good idea. It keeps you from bleeding to death on the floor, and keeps the hospital from getting its pants sued off by your heirs.)
It is more useful to view "narcissism" not as an inherent immutable personality trait, but as a cluster of coping mechanisms. As previously stated, there are times they are exactly the right coping mechanism for the job. However, people we call "narcissists" tend to cling to these ones even when they become detrimental to themselves and others, often because they lack other ways of regulating their emotions and getting their needs met. And that is something they can change, if a person is willing to put in sincere and difficult work. It is not usually fast change; it's a matter of years, not weeks. But a skillbuilding approach turned Borderline Personality Disorder from an immutable curse to a fully treatable (though not quickly treatable) condition, and there's a lot of hope that it can do the same for Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
Meanwhile, there's an opposite end to the narcissism spectrum, and it is also pathological and destructive to hang out there all the time. It's an aversion, or even a resistance, to expecting yourself or other people to treat your own feelings, thoughts, ideas, needs, or preferences as important. For Greek mythology reasons, its proposed name is Echoism.
Unfortunately, because most of the damage echoism does is, by its very nature, localized to its sufferer and their own personal relationships, its downsides aren't often talked about. In fact, it's often seen as an ideal moral state, a kind of altruism or saintliness everyone should strive for. As a pathological coping mechanism a person is trapped in, though, it's often more a fear-based reflex than a conscious and deliberate attempt to achieve some real and specific good. It's not actually as beneficial as being able to recognize your needs, desires, positive aspects, and areas of competence or excellence, and bring them forward in your relationships with other people and yourself.
To me this has all been a cross between a gut-punch and a cool, sweet drink of water. There have been other ways to describe echoism over the years, but this feels like the most concise and useful one I've seen in ages.
It specifically puts its pin down in the middle of the moral debate a lot of people struggle with—"What right do I have to put myself forward? What hope do I have of being seen and accepted? Isn't it better not to burden anybody else?"—and says that the problem is not feeling in touch with either side of the equation, but specifically, the inability to move from one part of the spectrum to another when it's merited by circumstances.
When I was a child, I thought Echoism was the answer. It was my ideal. I thought it was what would get me the love and acceptance I wanted, and would keep me safe from the pain of rejection or not being understood. I had no idea it would actually, in fact, be the primary cause of alienation and loneliness for the rest of my life.
Now I'm so deeply thankful I couldn't fully achieve it, in practical terms. As hard as I tried to erase myself, there were always things I loved too much to suppress. I still found ways to express and discover myself in the books I read, the stories I wrote, the intellectual work of school and the experience of pursuing hobbies I loved, my ambitions to be helpful even when they demanded I stop being selfless, and the relationships where I felt safe enough to experience love and acceptance even if I didn't think I deserved them.
There's this question I found a while back that echoed in my bones: Who am I allowed to be around you? Because that's what I felt like, as a child. If I wanted to engage with other people and minimize my risk of harm, it was my job to bend into a pretzel and fit the shape they wanted. And thank god, thank god, thank god, I couldn't fully do it. Despite everything, there were parts of me too strong and bright to lop off completely to get my arms and legs inside the carriage. I was able to take care of myself and let them grow in secret until I found social places I could let them out again. Despite myself, I found ways to grow and thrive, well beyond the trauma that said I shouldn't have.
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autistichalsin · 5 months ago
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Analysis of each character's final words in the new Dark Urge evil ending
If you are romanced to a character, you have the option, when taking the new version of the Sins of the Father ending, to kill your partner in front of the others in your party, killing them with one last kiss. They then give their last words and pass away. I love each and every one and feel they are incredible characterization moments.
So let's break these down!
Lae'zel:
I... I am glad it was you. No other blade would have sufficed.
This is something that hammers home that, Vlaakith or no, Lae'zel deeply believes in all the ideals of a Githyanki. Life is a privilege for the strong, and death is the price of weakness. Further, if romanced, Lae'zel will affectionately call you "the source of my bruises" many times. If she has to die, if she has finally found the one person stronger than herself, then she is "satisfied" that it is you- who she both loved and admired. The only one she would ever consider worthy of besting her.
Karlach:
Fuck you.
Short, simple, and to the point, just the way Karlach does everything else. She's already gone through all her stages of grief with her engine- well, almost all of them. Anger still remains. She burns hot until the end.
Wyll:
I... I forgive you.
This isn't just Wyll being a good guy. This is heartbreak, and guilt. Guilt for not saving you from Bhaal's influence when he was so sure he had. Heartbreak that after he gave his literal soul to save as many people as he could, he couldn't save you- and couldn't save others from you, either. All he sacrificed, negated in an instant by the person he loved and trusted most. Of all the characters here, Wyll (tied with Halsin) sounds the most obviously broken, and it's easy to see why, given that he is self-sacrificing to a fault.
There was a set of scenes datamined from the game, where at the Morphic Pool, the Netherbrain would have taunted the players, causing them to hallucinate things related to their fears and insecurities. Wyll's would have been a vision of himself talking about how he was never a hero, how the Blade of Frontiers was a farce all along. One can't help but think about that scene here, wondering just how much blame, bordering on self-loathing, he might feel here.
Dark Justiciar Shadowheart:
I... I'm coming to you, Lady Shar.
Another short and simple one. By becoming a Dark Justiciar, Shadowheart has fully embraced the nihilism of Shar's teachings. Why be saddened or angry at her own death when this is just what she's embraced with all her sacrifices?
(Sidenote: this does also answer a question I had, namely, what was going to happen to everyone Durge kills. Thankfully it seems they aren't actually going to be sacrificed to him as such, and will indeed end up in the realm of their deities. This makes Bhaal's plan even DUMBER, because deities in DND lore need worshippers to have enough power to exist. Killing everyone at once just guarantees that soon after Durge dies as the last person alive, so too will Bhaal fade from existence.)
Selunite Shadowheart:
I... I thought we were going to save each other...
This Shadowheart rejected everything she knew. She was scared to defy her goddess, but worked up the courage- thanks to you. She thought you would have a new life together. She believed in you. She thought she would get to return the favor, and help you turn the page on Bhaal, too.
She's not just heartbroken for herself; she's heartbroken for you, too. Heartbroken at the life you denied both her and yourself.
Gale:
You made me want to live...
From the moment the orb entered Gale's chest, he knew he was at risk of dying. Then Mystra all but marked him as a dead man walking. But despite that, he finds love with you- and for the first time thinks maybe there is a purpose for him beyond Mystra. That he isn't more useful to the world dead. More than that, he wants to live to be with you, to enjoy your company and companionship. And then you kill him, and do the one thing WORSE than what would have happened if he'd never been pulled from that rock.
It almost would have been kinder to just hack his hand off the first time you met him, though Gale may or may not agree.
Spawn Astarion:
I should have killed you when I had the chance...
The angriest, most bitter response out of all the romanced companions, a step beyond Karlach's "fuck you." This is beyond "fuck you" and even beyond "I hate you." It's "I regret every moment I spent with you." You made him believe he could have better. That he could recover from what Cazador did. You even convinced him to spare the 7,000 spawn and that he could be something better than Cazador.
And now you reveal it was all a lie. Astarion is probably thinking that you talked him out of completing the ritual solely so he'd be easier to kill right here and now. How many regrets are flashing through his mind, how many moments where he wonders if things could have been different if only he'd done this or that, even aside from killing you?
All he wanted was to live as a free person. And then the first time he thinks he has that at last, he loses it as the world ends.
Ascended Astarion:
No... no, this can't be... I can't- you can't- no...
In contrast to spawn Astarion, ascended isn't angry, because he doesn't have the clarity, the ability to process what's happening. Spawn Astarion could tell he'd been betrayed.
But Ascended? Ascended, who went through so much to become one of the most powerful beings in the world, only to STILL lose without fanfare? And by you, his own spawn who he thought he had under his control? It isn't betrayal, because he is bluescreening; he can't comprehend what happened or how or why. How could he have been killed, and by you of all people? Was all he went through killing Cazador really for nothing? How could it be when he was supposed to be the most powerful? Was power actually meaningless all along?
He doesn't say anything of substance because he can't understand what's happening here.
Halsin:
Thaniel... goodbye...
Halsin is the oldest of all the companions. He's experienced the most loss of anyone; his birth family, his fellow Druids, and, for a time, Thaniel. He has had more than enough time to contemplate his own mortality, because he's already lived multiple lifetimes.
So here, two things are happening. One, he isn't expressing anger or betrayal at his murder- because he is more than wise enough, and humble enough, to understand that there are worse things than what has been done to himself. Instead of himself, he is thinking of the world he's leaving behind that is about to fall- and most of all, of his most important person, the one who gave him a purpose, who was there when no one else was, who he failed once and only just got back. The closest thing to a child he'll ever have. In his last moments, instead of himself, Halsin is thinking of those he loves.
And second, it's an almost deliberate snubbing of Durge. He willingly walked into that kiss, knowing full well it would be the last thing he ever did. He gave you his death, he pleaded with his own god to forgive you and him both. He gave you everything he felt he owed you, and no more- no begging or sobbing. Instead, he comes as close as he ever gets to selfishness, and spends his last moments thinking about the thing that makes him the happiest- which could have been you, in another life, if you hadn't done this.
Minthara:
No... we were meant to do this together...
Heartbreak, disbelief, and betrayal. You spent so many nights planning this out. She had been cast aside by her people, her goddess, and she was going to get the last laugh. She was going to crush them personally under her heel and prove she was the best (or second best, behind you) of all of them. She's devastated she won't get to help you torture all those souls and take what she feels was owed to her. But interestingly enough... no anger. Probably because it was overshadowed by the sheer heartbreak, but also a sign that even in those moments, she still admires you for your ruthlessness.
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prettieinpink · 10 days ago
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LITTLE WAYS TO LIVE HEALTHIER IN 2025
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INCREASE YOUR N.E.A.T. Neat stands for non exercise activity thermogenesis. So, basically any daily activities we do when not exercising or sleeping. It's important for you to have a high N.E.A.T because it can be the difference between having a sedentary lifestyle or being moderately active. 
Ways to increase NEAT is to do more heavier chores everyday (vacuuming, mopping, dusting), taking the longer routes when walking, stand for 10 minutes each hour, pace back and forth while calling someone, march while you’re brushing your teeth, etc. 
DRINK HERBAL TEAS. Herbal teas can help you in a variety of areas of life, and are a great substitute for other processed beverages. 
ADD SUNLIGHT IN YOUR MORNING. Exposing yourself to sunlight early in the day helps with resetting the circadian rhythm, which in return helps for waking up easier and going to sleep easier. 
EAT WITHOUT DISTRACTIONS. You’ll savour your food so much more and it’ll be easier to tell when you’re satisfied. 
CREATE A PLAYLIST FOR WHEN YOU WIND DOWN. Once you get into the habit of listening to this playlist, it’ll become like a trigger to your body that it’s time to sleep because listening to that playlist  should be followed by settling into bed. 
 REGULARLY GO TO YOUR GP. Especially if you’re feeling a bit out of it. It is always better to make those regular visits and catch something before it becomes out of hand. 
STOP WAKING UP SO EARLY. I don’t know who needs to hear this, but waking up at 5am is unnecessary if not required. While I do believe that waking up earlier does have benefits, that extra hour of sleep probably has more. 
IF YOU’RE STRUGGLING, TAKE IT SLOWER. In this day and age, we don’t have time to process a lot of things. Everything is so fast paced, that if we fall behind, we tend to feel less than. 
Especially if you’re someone who can’t keep pace with the crowd due to disabilities or mental health. Take things at your own pace, and do what you can will yourself to do. 
GET SPIRITUAL. Lots of studies show that people who commit themselves to their beliefs are a lot happier in life than those who don’t. This doesn’t mean that you have to commit to a religion yet, but I would explore your spirituality side and see what  resonates with you. 
WEAR YOUR SPF. Skin cancer is no joke, and our earth is only getting hotter. Protect yourself, including your body! 
SURROUND YOURSELF WITH GOOD PEOPLE. People who radiate love and are always looking for the goodness around them, that rubs off on you and in return you’ll develop similar traits. Being with them will stimulate growth in all aspects of your life. 
I'm not telling anyone to ‘fix’ anyone, but it means a lot to other people if you can be that person in their life. It's a very rewarding and fulfilling lifestyle.  
TAKE MAKEUP BREAKS REGULARLY. Give your skin a break from products, and ideally take a week off each month to spend it makeup free. You’re saving time and your skin. 
ADD IN FRUITS, HERBS OR LEMON IN YOUR WATER. This will help with extra hydration and improve digestion. 
PRIORITISE FIBRE. As much as protein is good for you, fibre has just as much importance but it's not as heavily prioritised. Ideally, half of your meal should be fibres. However, that can be a hard change for some people, so start with having it on the side. 
It's great if you can incorporate ‘hidden’ fibre into your meals as well!
CURATE YOUR SPACE TO SUIT YOU. Add in little notes of reminders or quotes, place around photos or awards of your achievements, remove anything that impacts you negatively. You want the area that you’re in 24/7 to support that growth, not stifle it. 
Keep your area clean and decluttered as well. Try to minimise the amount of stuff that you have. You only need one of each thing, two is one too many. Having too much clutter affects the clarity of your mind.
it is numbered oddly because of the way I pasted this from google docs to tumblr. apologies!
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freezerbnuuy · 2 months ago
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The Simblr Cycle
Paid creator acts up for the 19348th time, site-wide outrage
Everyone pissed off about paid creator
Vague appreciation posts for free CC creators (but they still get fuck-all in terms of reblogs or exposure)
Everyone points out the fact there are places to get this paid CC for free
Paid creator releases new set, gets thousands of reblogs and everyone is putting it on their sims and in their houses and on their Simblrs and basically doing free advertising
Free CC creators go back to getting fuck-all in terms of interaction
The rest is under the cut.
For a site full of people obsessed with the ideal of a person who does no wrong, y’all are sure as shit in love with the people who cannot do anything right whilst the good folk get bugger-all!
When do people stop paying shitty creators and when do these same people stop freely advertising for them as well? 💀 And when it comes to when they fuck up, you know what they say about there being no such thing as bad pubilicity. There’s no way these people will actually be booted from the community because of the price tag making it look more special and desirable, and because people refuse to check out places like Rebels and DHM where you can get all this shit for free.
They can do whatever the fuck they like at this point because the callouts will only summon their white-knights and the rightful reblogged callouts and warnings will only get them more advertising - because most people only care about pretty desirable things and for whatever reason will gladly tolerate shitty business practices from these people.
So many decent folk and passionate folk in this community get nothing except empty vague mass reblogged messages about how much people love their creations whilst the scamming cunts get all the constant attention and advertisement. And all free creators get is pitiful exposure, none of the excited ‘look at this cool CC so and so made!’ and all they get is taken advantage of by paid creators. Don’t be surprised if even more free creators like myself leave the community because they’re tired of it. Scammers in the Simblr or wider CC community and thieves have fucked this up for everybody. Paid content has ruined the TS4 community, but at the same time the whole community almost revolves around it despite it.
Everyone talks about how people making stuff for free or just doing stories and challenges are the backbone of this community and then it entirely becomes about the paid creators. Again. And again and again and again, and it’s never-ending.
EDIT: Please stop following my account since I am a retired creator who doesn’t upload anymore. I appreciate it but I am no longer posting Sims content to my blog. You are welcome and encouraged to reblog my Gaza / Sudan fundraisers reblogs however.
The funny part is, I got more notes on this one rant post in 3 days than I did across most of my actual Sims content for months, with the exception of 1 or 2 semi-popular pose packs, lmao. Like I said, paid creators run the place at this point. This entire community revolves around paid creators and awful business practice and behaviour now, and with TS5 cancelled they’re here to stay for a much longer time than we’d hoped for. Good luck to all of the gameplayers, storytellers and free creators. You’re going to need it.
Since this post is getting so much traction, let's be outraged about something more important for the New Year - the ongoing genocide, war and famine that a lot of people have conveniently forgotten about. Don't turn your back just because it isn't happening in your country / to people like you / to people you know or can relate to / because you're too busy pointing out others not doing enough when you yourself are doing nothing.
Donate to a fundraiser for someone in the middle of war, genocide, or famine.
There is a whole list here to choose from for donations to Gaza.
There is also a gathering of fundraisers for the people of Sudan and Friends of the Congo.
You can also search the relevant Tumblr tags to find other fundraisers.
If you cannot donate, reblog some individual fundraiser posts or posts focusing on a fundraising organisation.
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katsu28 · 9 months ago
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home is wherever you are
pairing: charles leclerc x reader
summary: secretly falling in love with your best friend is tough. secretly falling in love with your best friend who also happens to be your roommate is even less than ideal. the solution? move out! (hint: it isn’t a very good one.) (5k)
warnings: angst with a happy ending, a smidge of google translated french lol
a/n: CHARLES LECLERC!!! CHARLES LECLERC!!!!LECLERC!!! LECLERAUGHCOUGHCOUGH
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“I still cannot believe you’re abandoning me.” 
Charles shoved another box of your things into the boot of your car rather huffily, as if to reiterate just how unhappy he was. 
“I’m not abandoning you, I’m moving out of your apartment.” You sighed, rolling your eyes playfully at him. You passed him the last box off the ground, wiping your hands off on your shorts before propping them on your hips. 
“That is quite literally the same thing.” He mirrored your stance in total seriousness, frown unwavering. “And it’s not my apartment, it’s yours now too. Your home.” 
You’d been living with Charles for a while now, having been suddenly evicted from your own place three, almost four years ago. With nowhere else to go, you’d turned to your best friend, and Charles had welcomed you with open arms, giving you a home when you’d needed it most. 
There were many good things about living with Charles—he liked to cook (which boded well with you, seeing as you were no master chef yourself. Except for when he’d gone through a questionable phase of combining cuisines that did not go well together.), he was respectful of set boundaries and agreed upon rules. You had the same taste in shows and movies, which made for little fighting when it came to deciding on what to watch. 
But most notably, he loved to play the piano. It was a hobby he’d picked up during long days spent staying at home, and he was good at it too. An electronic keyboard when he’d first started out, just to see if it was something he was serious about, but as he zoomed through the basics with ease, he’d splurged on a gorgeous white piano that stood proudly in the living room. 
Soon enough, it wasn’t unusual for the apartment to be full of music, beautiful songs of Charles’ own composing. 
He played whenever he had the feeling. Whenever he had something on his mind, whenever he was bored, anything, he’d spend hours at the piano, playing, playing, playing. Some might’ve called it annoying, but not you. You found it rather soothing. 
It had very quickly become a habit of yours to fall asleep listening to Charles play. Something about it seemed to always relax you just enough to the point where you could pretty much fall asleep anywhere if he was at the bench. 
Your favorite spot was on the sofa with a big blanket, watching him get lost in the notes until you drifted off. More often than not, you could rarely get a good night’s sleep without Charles’ accompaniment—your very own version of white noise. 
But truth be told, this past year of living together with Charles had been trickier than the first couple. You couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment things began to change, but something had definitely shifted between you. 
You’d been trying to write it off just the two of you being very close, but you’d been dancing on the line of close friends and more than friends for a long time. Falling asleep together cuddled on the sofa, lingering touches whilst you were in the same room and in passing, hugs that lasted a little too long to be considered normal. 
The more your feelings for Charles grew, the more worried you became. Worried about what, you weren’t exactly sure. All you knew was you didn’t want to lose the longest and best friendship you’d ever had because you went and fell in love.
“I know. But I think it’s well past time I get out of your hair and try being on my own for once.” You said softly, stepping in to fold yourself into Charles’ arms. 
Most of that was true. You did feel like you needed to live by yourself for a chance, to see what it was like to be fully independent in your adult life. You’d moved in with Charles when you were twenty two, and you were twenty five now. It was time for you to venture out on your own. 
But the uncertainty of falling in love with your best friend was definitely also a contributing factor. 
He made a displeased sound at your words, but tucked you under his chin nonetheless. “I don’t want you to get out of my hair. My hair likes it with you here.” 
“I live fifteen minutes away, Cha. I’m not moving across the country. You and your hair can come over anytime.” You scoffed, giving him a gentle poke in the ribs. “And I’ll come over here all the time too, you know that.” 
“Fine, fine. I don’t know what I am supposed to do with your empty room now, but I’ll figure it out. Maybe I will take up scrapbooking. Knitting. Needlepoint, maybe. Turn it into a craft room.” 
“Maybe you can turn it into a music room. Move the keyboard in there, your piano.” 
“Ah, bien entendu, my piano. How will you ever fall asleep without my sweet, sweet melodies?” 
“I think I will manage just fine.” You chuckled. 
Charles held you at arms’ length, dark brows furrowing as he scowled. “What I’m hearing is you don’t love me anymore.” 
Oh, if only he knew. 
You smiled instead, patting his cheek good-naturedly. “Come on, you drama queen. I want to move in before the sun goes down.” 
Charles went full protection mode the second all your belongings had made it safely inside the apartment, intently checking every lock, window, door hinge, cabinet—not an inch of the apartment went uninspected by him. When he seemed fairly satisfied with his safety checks, he returned to where you were unpacking kitchen items over by the oven.
“Everything up to your standards?” You asked, pulling out a stack of plates wrapped in brown paper. Charles shuffled over, easing them out of your hands and unwrapping them to help put them up in the cabinet. “No one is going to break in through my window tonight?”
“Don’t even joke about that.” He grumbled, chucking the balled up paper at you gently. “Everything I checked is fine. You will be safe here.” 
Food was simple when it came time for dinner—takeout on the floor of your living room, because you hadn’t had the time to go shopping for a coffee table yet. Or a dining room table. Or even chairs, really. All you had were some pillows and an overturned cardboard box to put the food on. 
Charles had insisted on helping you furnish the whole place before you moved in but you’d declined, saying that you wanted to get a feel for the place before filling it with everything. The last time it would be this empty would be the day you moved out. 
He seemed a little quiet the rest of the night, but you didn’t press it until after dinner, whilst he was helping you with the washing up. Well, helping was a strong word. 
“You’ve been drying that plate for ages now.” You observed, tilting your head at him thoughtfully. Charles inhaled sharply, shaking his head like he’d been snapped out of a stupor. He glanced down at the completely dry plate, then back up at you blankly. “What’re you thinking about?” 
“You’re really going to be gone.”
“You say that like I told you I’ve only got days to live. I won’t be gone, Cha. I’ll be around.” You chuckled, flicking dish soap bubbles in his direction. Charles responded by flinging his towel at you, cracking a smile. You liked it when he smiled, hated it when he frowned. He was still unfairly attractive, but it wasn’t Charles’ scowl that made you fall in love with him. 
“We can spend the day together anytime, you can come over whenever you want, and if it makes you feel any better, I will give you your very own key.” 
That seemed to put him a little more in higher spirits. 
 “What will you ever do without me?” He wondered out loud, feigning a thoughtful expression. 
“Probably clean up a lot less. Be able to take a shower without running out of hot water halfway through. Oh! Have a bottle of shampoo last more than a month because someone—not naming names, of course, won’t use it because they’ve run out of theirs. Not have to fight for—” 
“Alright, alright, I get it!” Charles huffed, grabbing you by the shoulders and promptly shoving your face into his chest to stop you from talking. 
You grinned against the softness of his hoodie. “Shall I go on?” 
“No, no you shouldn’t.” His hold on you loosened, but you stayed right where you were, wrapping your arms around his torso. “Just admit it. You’ll miss me.” 
“I will miss you.” You said softly, pressing your cheek into the crook of his neck. If there was something Charles was unbelievably good at (besides literally anything he’d ever tried), it was giving the best hugs. Something about them made you feel safe, like nothing and nobody could ever hurt you as long as you were in his arms. 
“You already know how much I’m going to miss having you around.” 
“Yeah, I am pretty great.” 
A laugh rumbled through his chest. “You are.” 
“You’ve been the best roommate I could’ve asked for. Thank you for everything.” Your words were muffled between the two of you, and you were glad for it, because he didn’t seem to notice the waver in your tone. But he did squeeze you a little tighter, so maybe he did hear you. “I love you, Cha.” 
Charles’ voice seemed to waver just a bit too. “I love you too.” 
“Okay, okay, you really need to leave. Go before I change my mind and make you stay.” You blurted, pushing him away playfully. It was better than letting him see you get emotional. 
“Is that a promise?” 
“No, it’s a threat. Go home. I will see you soon.” You gave his hand one last squeeze, nodding reassuringly to rid him of the crease between his brows. “Don’t worry about me. Go, get some rest.” 
It was only then that he seemed satisfied enough to leave, but even then, he cast another backwards glance towards you on his way down the hall, as if he was waiting for you to beckon him back. You just smiled as best you could. 
You’d get over it. You had to. There was still a lot you needed to get done before you called it a night. 
It wasn’t until you were getting ready to go to bed that you started to feel lonely. You and Charles had your respective bedtime routines, but they always intertwined. 
You never liked being the one to turn off all the lights in the apartment because the switch was at the end of the hallway opposite from your bedrooms, so he knew to do it because you hated running back through the darkness after flipping the switch. 
He always filled a glass with water for late night sipping, but never remembered to actually bring it to his room until he was already in bed, so you always grabbed it for him so he wouldn’t have to make the trek back out the kitchen.  
The bathroom counter was where you’d find each other the most, terrible jokes and funny stories told muffled through toothpaste bubbles, even though you could’ve just waited until you were finished to tell each other. You’d flick water at him as you washed your face because he took up too much space at the sink, he’d turn off the tap in retaliation, things like that. 
Sometimes Charles would stay up later playing video games with his friends, or take some extra time to practice piano, so you wouldn’t get to do your well oiled machine routine, but he’d always take the extra second to pop into your room to say goodnight when he heard you bustling around, even if he was in the middle of something. 
The times you fell asleep on the sofa to Charles’ playing the piano, he’d camp out at the other end of the sofa for the night, or at the very least made sure you were covered with a blanket if he went to sleep in his own room. 
It was something you’d grown accustomed to over the years, oftentimes the well-needed end to a not so great day. Charles never failed to put a smile on your face, even with something as small and mundane as a bedtime routine. 
But there was none of that as you ran through your routine this time. 
You didn’t hear him shuffling around over in the other room, the muffled sounds of his shouts as he played his games, and most of all, you didn’t hear him and his piano. 
Because there was no Charles. Of course there wasn’t. You were in this new place that you hadn’t had quite nearly enough of a chance to get used to yet, alone, and it was finally settling in. 
Suddenly moving out and away from him seemed like the worst decision in the world. 
You knew it was only the first night. You had to give yourself a chance to reacclimate, and that would take time. So you inhaled a deep breath, trying to get as comfy as you could for a long, probably sleepless night ahead. 
It was nearing four in the morning when you finally decided to give up and call Charles. Part of you thought he might not even pick up the phone, because he was probably asleep. Any sane person would be sleeping right now. 
Much to your surprise, he answered on the second ring. 
“Why are you awake?” You asked, maybe a bit harshly. 
“Um, you are the one who called me? Why are you awake?” He replied, groggy voice still teasing. His accent always grew thicker when he was sleepy. You thought it was adorable. “You cannot sleep, can you?” 
“...No.” Your voice grew smaller. You felt embarrassed at the fact that you couldn’t even make it one full night without Charles around. “I just…I wanted to hear your voice, I guess. I miss you already, Cha.” 
Charles fell silent for a few moments, the only sound on his side of the line being his gentle exhales. “I miss you too. Do you want me to come over? I can stay the night, if you want.” 
“No. No, you don’t need to do that.” You said softly. “Can you just talk to me?” 
This was also something that had become somewhat of a ritual when either of you couldn’t sleep. 
You’d tiptoe into each other’s rooms quiet as a mouse, slipping into bed beside the other. Charles always stirred when he felt the bed dip under your weight, half asleep but still reaching out to pull you against his chest like it was second nature. On the occasions when he came into your room, you’d feel him tuck himself close to you, nosing against any part of you he could find with a content sigh. 
There was no rhyme or reason to the things you’d talk about in those moments, but eventually, somehow, you’d both end up asleep, usually fairly quickly. Maybe it was the extra added comfort of each other that helped, you could never tell. 
It wasn’t unusual to wake up a jumble of limbs tangled together, and neither of you ever addressed it either. Just went on with your business as usual, never talking about it because it was just something you did. To help each other sleep, of course. 
Another thing that really blurred the line between friends and more. 
Charles hummed a noncommittal sound, soft and fond like he always was around you. “I’ll do you one better. How about I play some music for you?” 
“Yes, please. Thank you.” You sighed, relieved. He knew what you needed without you even having to ask. 
You heard him get up, footsteps padding along until there was a thud and some shuffling coming from Charles’ side. A few warm up scales in and you were already feeling a little less anxious, letting yourself get comfortable. 
“Any requests from the audience?” 
“Been working on anything new?” You yawned, nuzzling a little deeper back into your pillow. 
“I have, actually. It’s still—fuck, how do you say it…a work in progress?”
“Anything you play is perfect.”
“You flatter me.” He snorted. “Alright, here goes nothing.”  
He began to play. You knew jack shit about music, so there wasn’t much you could think of to describe how it sounded, but you could describe how it felt. You could almost feel the emotion pouring from his playing, even through the scratchy quality of the speaker. 
It felt like something you’d hear in the background of a movie montage, lilting and delicate and warm notes swirling together to create a bright melody, and you couldn’t help but let your mind wander. 
Memories of good times with Charles flashed through your head—all the long days and even longer nights you’d spent together because you thrived in each other’s company, cooking together, binging Netflix shows until you both passed out on the sofa. 
Hushed laughing during dinners at fancy restaurants that Charles could get into by flashing his name, soft conversations accompanied with expensive food and even more expensive wine. 
Day trips up the coast with the top down on the car, pushing the speed limit just to feel an ounce of the freedom that it could give you. Walking through Monte Carlo on late night gelato runs, switching flavors because you both enjoyed each other’s choice more than your own. 
Most of all, you thought of the love you felt for Charles, ever since you’d first met him. You’d never been one to believe in the concept of soulmates, but fuck, it was so easy to think of him as yours. Never had you felt as much for someone as you did for him. 
God, why were you even thinking of those things? 
It would never happen. Any love that Charles had for you would be strictly platonic, limited to however much one could love their best friend. 
Surely he’d drawn inspiration from something else when he’d composed the beautiful piece. You weren’t sure if you wanted to know. 
Soon enough, you’d drifted off like you always did when Charles played, coincidentally right before he came to a lingering stop. 
Had you been awake, you would’ve heard him say that the beautiful piece had been inspired by you. Instead you were fast asleep, still none the wiser to anything. Maybe it was a good thing. You might not have believed it if you’d heard him. 
-------
Charles was on your doorstep first thing in the morning, coffee and pastries in hand when you opened the door for him. 
“Hello, good morning, your savior is here. And with breakfast!” He chirped, coming to just enough of a halt for you to slide an arm around his shoulders in a hug and grab one of the drinks out of the tray before he swept past you.
Bright morning sunlight poured into the open area, washing the whole place aglow. A warm breeze floated in through the ajar window, rattling the shutters only slightly, and you could hear the all too familiar sounds of the city in the morning coming from the streets below. It was a gorgeous picture of peace; one of the apartment’s many fun quirks that convinced you to go for it in the first place. 
The only thing that might’ve rivaled the beauty of the moment was Charles standing at the window, leaning against the sill drinking his coffee while the breeze ruffled his hair. His back was to you as he checked out the view, but even the mere image of him here was nice. 
You sipped your own coffee, smiling to yourself when you realized Charles remembered exactly how you took it. You didn’t even need to look inside the bag to know they were your favorite pastries from the bakery down the street from your former apartment that both you and Charles loved. He was always thoughtful like that. Things like remembering your favorite foods and drinks, and going out of his way to get them as a little pick-me-up. 
It seemed wrong to ruin the moment, but you felt like you had to say something. 
“I’m sorry for waking you up last night.” You sighed, taking a cross-legged seat on a pillow. 
Charles turned away from the window, shaking his head quickly. He took a seat on the floor next to you, long legs stretching out towards your crossed ones to nudge a sneaker against your socked foot. “There’s nothing to be sorry about, I’m glad you called me.” 
“Right, but it’s kind of pathetic, isn’t it? First time on my own and I didn’t even last a whole night.” 
“Not pathetic.” He insisted, entirely firm in his words. He set his cup down as if it could strengthen his point. “It is a change, definitely. You can’t expect yourself to get used to such a big change immediately. It takes time, you know.” 
You messed with the lid of your cup, picking at the plastic with a scowl. “I know. But I can’t always come running to you whenever I need help. It’s not fair to you to have to keep rescuing me every time I need saving.” 
“Okay…” He trailed off, stretching out the last syllable in confusion. “I feel this is about something more than just last night. We can talk about it, if you would like?”
“I don’t know what it is.” You huffed. “I thought I was ready to be on my own, but maybe I’m not. Maybe I don’t know I’m doing and I’ll never figure it out, and—” 
“Whoa, whoa, slow down. Where is this all coming from?” 
“I don’t know,” You repeated, bordering on a whine. “But what I do know is that I can’t always keep relying on you for everything. It’s not good for me, or for you.” 
“You know, you could always just move back home if you’re truly not ready to do things on your own.” Charles offered, taking a casual sip of his own drink.
Home. He said it so casually, like home was with him instead of this new place you’d chosen to make yours. In a way, Charles was your home. Safety, comfort, love—all the things that made something home, you felt with him. 
That was the problem. You didn’t feel right relying on him for all those things, not without him being aware of how you actually felt about him. It seemed like too much of a burden to put on a friend, even one as perfect as Charles. 
His eyes met yours over the rim and he shrugged. “I still don’t know why you were so insistent on moving out in the first place.” 
You sighed, again. There weren’t many ways you could make yourself any clearer. Other than telling Charles one of the real reasons why you had to leave, which again, was more of a last resort (hopefully not at all) type of thing. “It was time—” 
“It was time for you to venture out on your own, yes, I know. But it doesn’t seem to be working out so well right now, does it not?” The last sentence seemed to slip out of Charles’ mouth before he knew what he was saying, because his mouth snapped shut right afterward. “I’m—I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for it to come out like that. I don’t want to argue.” 
But what had been done was done, what had been said was out there for you to know. Your coffee suddenly left a bitter taste in your mouth, and the traffic from outside became glaringly loud. The once peaceful atmosphere had been shattered now that you knew Charles’ true thoughts on it all. 
You stood up, letting your feet take you across the room from him. “No. Tell me more, Charles. Tell me how you really feel.” 
His nose wrinkled at the use of his full name. You never called him Charles unless you were upset with him, which wasn’t that often. Even hearing it come out of your own mouth seemed foreign. 
That seemed to change his reaction, because he stood too instead, doubling down on his words. “Okay. Yes, that is how I feel about you leaving. You barely even talked to me about it, and the next thing I knew, you were packing all your things into boxes! I didn’t understand where this—this sudden desire to leave came from. I still don’t.”
“You don’t have to understand it. It’s already done.” 
“Did I—did I do something wrong?”
You almost faltered. Almost.
“Did you ever think maybe me wanting to leave had nothing to do with you?” 
“Honestly? No. It feels like it has everything to do with me. It feels like you moved out because you didn’t want to be around me anymore!” Charles exclaimed. “And I have kept my mouth shut, I’ve been trying to be supportive of your decision, but I think I have a right to know. Am I why you wanted to leave so badly?” 
“That’s…part of it.” You admitted. Charles froze, brows flying up towards his hairline. “But not because of anything you did. Not because of the reason you’re thinking of.” 
“I don’t really see any other explanation. And I am sorry, but that is a shit excuse. I would’ve thought that you of all people would tell me the truth.” He didn’t sound angry, just disappointed and a little hurt. Somehow that felt worse. You’d rather him be mad at you than hurt by you. 
“I didn’t want to move out.” You said firmly. 
“Then why did you?” 
“I had to! I—I couldn’t live there anymore.” 
“But why?” He sounded desperate, begging for you to clue him in to any reason, anything at all that would help him understand. And god, as scared as you were of changing things by telling Charles how you really felt about him, you were infinitely more scared of losing him for good if you didn’t. 
“Because I’m fucking in love with you, Charles!” You blurted, finally. “I couldn’t live with you any longer, keeping this huge secret all the time, because it truly made me feel like I was about to explode. I just couldn’t do it anymore—pretend like everything was alright when every time I looked at you, all I could think about was how I felt about you! How much I felt for you.” Your voice rose with every word, emotion lacing your tone. 
You could feel the tears burning your eyes, threatening to fall no matter how much you willed them not to. “I just thought, maybe if we lived apart, if we didn’t see each other all the time, maybe those feelings would go away.” 
Charles blinked at you slowly. He scrubbed a hand over his cheek, across his mouth, letting it disappear into the neckline of his hoodie as he continued the motion near his jaw. Still, he said nothing. You weren’t sure if it was a good sign or a bad one, but still you continued. 
“So no, it wasn’t because of anything you did. Or maybe it was, for making it so fucking easy to fall in love with you. I don’t know. I’m sorry if I made you feel like you couldn’t say anything to me, but I’m not sorry for making the decision on my own. It was for the best.”
There it was, out there in the open at last. It felt like a proverbial weight lifted off your shoulders, but at the same time like a thousand rocks sinking to the bottom of your stomach, because he wasn’t saying anything. Maybe this was it. Maybe this was how you’d fuck up the best friendship you’d ever had. 
Charles was silent for the longest time before he replied, and when he did, his voice was quieter than you’d ever heard it before. It felt unnerving. “You could’ve just told me.” 
“Told you?” You had to fight the urge to let out a bitter, watery laugh. “Telling your best friend you’ve fallen in love with him isn’t just something you mention at the bathroom sink one night.” 
“It is, if he feels the same way about you.” 
A coldness crept down your neck, shooting through your veins like you’d just had a bucket of ice cold water dumped over your head. 
“No you’re not—you don't...you can't.” You whispered, disbelieving.
Charles’ brows furrowed in confusion. “What, do you want me to prove it?” 
You couldn’t give him an answer even if you wanted to. You weren’t sure if you could trust yourself to say a damn word, just in case this was all a dream and you'd wake up any second, still alone, still without him there.
He must’ve taken your silence as a yes to his question, because he crossed the room in three strides, took your face in firm hands, and he kissed you. 
Despite your utter shock, you managed to kiss him back clumsily, fingers curling into his hoodie tightly. Charles kissed you like he was afraid to let you go, like you’d slip through his fingers if he wasn’t careful enough.
A guiding hand curled around the back of your neck, angling your head so he could deepen the kiss, but only for a few seconds before he broke away, panting. His forehead stayed pressed against yours, soulful green eyes boring into your own in total seriousness.
“Do you believe me now?” 
“Maybe.” You breathed, letting your nose bump against his gently. This was not a dream. Charles was real and here and one hell of a kisser (just as you suspected).
“I am in love with you.” He murmured, stroking his thumb over your cheek fondly. “I have been for a long time. And I never thought you would feel the same way.” 
“I love you, Cha.” You were suddenly brought back to last night, when you’d uttered the same words to him. Only this time, they had a whole different meaning to them. 
This time, you knew Charles loved you in the same way you loved him.
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northopalshore · 2 months ago
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Moon in the
Juno Persona Chart
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Juno asteroid (3) This post only applies to the Juno persona chart. The moon here tells you about how you connect with your future spouse or what emotional attachment you look for in an ideal relationship. It also tells you about how you feel & instinctively act throughout the progression of the relationship. This only applies when you are in the relationship.
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In the signs, houses & degrees
🍪Aries (°1,°13,°25) @ The first house (I)
You may be rather erratic around them once you do get into a relationship however, a lack of patience may be a reoccurring theme as well. You may act rather childishly in the relationship i.e acting jealous, petty or even irrational at times around your person. You may show a lot of your "primal" emotional state one that isn't filtered or seen through rose coloured lenses. Both of you may have trouble expressing love in a traditional way i.e not completely comfortable being all lovey dovey or touchy feely at times, but it's not like it's completely void of that type of affection. Bickering just comes easier ^^".
Ex: My parents both have their Juno moon in an Aries degree (°1 & °13). Boy when I tell you these two are always arguing about something ( it's not really serious) but it's more like they both do not have any patience dealing with each other. They do not work well under pressure lmao. It's like little kids disagreeing with each other at times. Always trying to prove who's right and who's wrong. They don't hate each other, they just have a somewhat tsundere way of expressing their emotions to each other. It's funny, but also annoying looking at it from the perspective of their child.
🍪Taurus (°2,°14,°26) @ The second house (II)
You will feel very relaxed around your partner. You may have a sibling like dynamic where you may bicker and tease each other often, but it's not anywhere as "intense" as Aries. You won't be quick to anger, but there is a tendency to get rather lazy around your partner i.e wanting to stay home and do nothing all day. You may feel like your partner is your property in a way, wanting them to be just for you. You may also be rather sensitive to your partner's actions or habits. You are loyal, reliable & get very romantic around your partner.
🍪Gemini (°3,°15,°27) @ The third house (III)
You will likely feel like you're always on your toes around your partner. You may be required to think critically a lot, your partner may come to you for advice often therefore it's important for you to be or at least feel aware/awake. There is also a tendency to overreact (especially if in Aries/cancer degrees/houses). You will feel and act rather childishly as well, although not as hot headed as our Aries friend lol. Your expressions become more animated, and you're liking going to be more experimental in the relationship i.e want to explore or try new things with your partner.
🍪Cancer (°4,°16,°28) @ The fourth house (IV)
You are very, emotional with your partner. Acting more clingy around them or seeing them as your primary source of comfort. You are very affectionate with them, and may also tend to be dependant on them on certain things. You also have a tendency to mother them at times i.e taking care of their basic needs, listening to them rant and soothe their hearts / egos. You are also very sensitive to their mood swings especially, perhaps blaming yourself for things that go wrong even if the source of the problem isn't you. You also enjoy ranting to your partner.
🍪 Leo (°5,°17,°29) @ The fifth house (V)
You have a lot of love and adoration for your partner. You may be very flirty, and playful with them in the relationship. In your eyes, your partner is your only lover, wanting to feel adored and in some ways worshipped by them. Your partner's attention means the world to you, so you may get quite jealous when that attention is taken off of you. You are very generous when it comes to complimenting your partner. You feel good when you know you've made them happy and important. You may be quite dramatic too, displaying much playful exaggeration on a daily basis.
🍪 Virgo (°6,°18) @ The sixth house (VI)
You are the dependable, slightly erratic partner. The problem solver, but at the same time your critical nature can sometimes start disagreements within the relationship. Especially if your partner has more a "carefree" moon placement in their JPC. That being said you are extremely loyal as well, and you show that you love your partner by expressing your concern towards them. Whether that'd be by asking them about their day, or finding the smallest way to get closer to them on a daily basis. Showing them you care through your advice and recommendations. Their opinion means the world to you, and their dissatisfactions can ruin your whole day.
🍪 Libra (°7,°19) @ The seventh house (VII)
You will feel very comfortable around them. Something about them may make you feel balanced or more composed, and easygoing. It's a pleasant feeling that grows lovelier with time. You may strive to keep a sense of equity in the relationship, not wanting your partner to be the only one carrying the burden in the relationship. For the most part, you will not engage in petty rivalry or disagreements when something hurtful does arise you are able to tackle it with a fair judgement. Though, there is a tendency to sweep certain things under the rug just so you do not hurt your partner. Very flirty, and you'll always have your partner in mind, no matter what you're doing.
🍪 Scorpio (°8,°20) @ The eighth house (VIII)
You are very, and I mean very protective of your partner. You may love keeping them close to you often, especially when you're out together. You get possessive, and jealousy very easily in the relationship. However, you also give your all to your partner. Giving them the time of day and all the attention they may need. You may develop a strong attachment to them almost as if they are your property lmao. Your connection will be anything but shallow, as you desire to melt into your partner, sharing everything you have i.e secrets, fears and promises. So you can sort of see why you'll be protective in the first place. Your person is your true safe space & that is something you never wish to share.
🍪 Sagittarius (°9,°21) @ The ninth house (IX)
This is also a sign that you'll feel comfortable around them. Conversations come naturally, although there may this feeling that you should be guiding them or something similar to Virgo/the 6th house, but here you're more of a mentor. Perhaps you will feel like your partner is very playful or supportive (or they may look like they need to lighten up). Perhaps their presence always has a way of lightening your mood. There's this friendly chemistry between you that will make you keeping want more of them. You are the mood maker of the household, wanting the energy to be bright and optimistic.
🍪 Capricorn (°10,°22) @The tenth house (X)
In this relationship, you will feel very stable. Your emotional state depends on whether you have your shit together, if your partner is well & if you're able to provide for them. Perhaps you feel like you have a sort of status to uphold as well. You want them to see you as someone mature & dependable. That you aren't looking to play around. You may have trouble expressing your emotions to them completely, as you'd rather be the person that they come to for support. You also display a lot of patience & restraint when met with turbulence or disagreements in the relationship. Though it may make you seem rather dry at times even if you aren't. Your partner is the only lover you see. However, there may be control issues that arise as well on your part.
🍪 Aquarius (°11,°23) @The eleventh house (XI)
You'll feel quite uninhibited in your relationship. Being able to express yourself however you want, whenever you want. You allow both yourself & your partner emotional independence, and jealousy is not really an issue when it comes to you (depends on the sign/house/degree it's in as well) as you do not feel the need to question your partner's loyalty. You may come to intellectualize your emotions to some degree in your relationship. Perhaps you will be more sentimental about your connections, and society as well. Somehow thinking of the effects your relationship may have to those around you. Being in this relationship may make you unconsciously think of others.
🍪 Pisces (°12,°24) @ The twelfth house (XII)
This placement can be tricky, there are two sides of this coin. On one side, you will feel extremely connected with your FS/SO you will be especially patient and forgiving of your person, spiritually you may feel like you are one in the same and that your love can triumph all that opposes. For the most part, it's fine. You are loving, kind and very attentive to your person's emotional well-being or state. However, there may be a tendency to act based on favoritism i.e how you want to interpret things. In reality, you may be quite disconnected with your person not being able to see their worries or concerns. Still, it does not diminish your affection for your person. There is this sense of longing for your partner even if they are right next to you. You partners feelings will feel like an extension of your own.
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Thank you for reading!
@northopalshore
@northopalshore Juno 2024 all rights reserved.
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mywritersmind · 1 month ago
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NOT SO HAPPY HOLIDAYS - LN4
↳pt.5
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christmas special
part one - part two - part three - part four
summary : As the days start getting closer to Christmas, you find yourself even more comfortable with your previous enemy. In a drunken spirit and ego boosted from karaoke, Lando can’t control his words. Even when Max finds you two in bed together.
og summary : Spending Christmas with my brothers best friend isn’t my ideal way to celebrate. With my parents in the maldives and my ex calling me non stop, I was hoping for a small town cozy christmas! I was going to get that with Max and his girlfriend until Lando Norris worked his way into the mix.
listen up : dual pov! alcohol! swearing! drunk lando!
words : 3334
⋆。‧˚⋆
“Lando. Listen to me.” Oscar says over the phone, his voice registering in my brain but being distinctly distracted by two women taking instagram photos next to me.
“I am listening.” I mumble, watching Y/n turn and smile at the camera. My phone vibrates in my hand and I see that Oscar has requested facetime instead.
“What?” I look at the man who’s sitting in the sun and probably at the beach, “Can you pay attention for two seconds? I don’t want to be talking about work either.”
I sigh, turning away from the girls, “Can I ask you something?” I walk farther away just in case they can hear me.
Oscar groans at me still being off topic, “Shoot.”
“How did you know Lily fancied you?”
His brow jolts up, “I mean, We were pretty young, I just remember that she spoke to me a lot and she-” Lily pops her head in the call now.
“Don't listen to him, Lando! He was absolutely oblivious even though I was literally a giggling school girl around him.”
Oscar looks at her lovingly, “You were quite smiley.”
“Okay wrap it up lovebirds.” I roll my eyes.
Lily leaves and Oscar looks at me quizzically again, “So, who do you like so much that would possess you to ask that question?” I stay quiet for a moment, glancing back at Y/n who’s backlit by the sun, “Aren’t you with your family? Or Max and his girlfriend right?”
“No one. I’m just curious.” Deny deny deny.
He hums, “Wait… Doesn't Max have that sister you stalked all year-”
“Okay bye Oscar!”
He scrambles to get words in, “Wait we still need to talk about-”
I hang up on him.
⋆༺
Max and I have been kicked out by our the women. More like I was kicked out and Max was just craving a coffee. It’s not my fault I can’t cook!
After almost catching Y/n’s hair on fire, I was banished to the little coffee shop that’s been getting us through this week.
The barista hands us our coffees and one hot chocolate for Y/n. Max and I walk slowly to our car, looking at the scenery on the way. “I’m excited for Christmas.”
I smile as Max hums, “You’re awfully chipper.” He gives me a side eye and a smirk, to which I promptly shove him, “Ugh! I do not want to know!”
He laughs, “I know that P teases you about it, But I really do think a girlfriend would be good for you.”
I don’t just want a girlfriend. I want Y/n. I kick a rock at my feet, mumbling, “Yeah I doubt that.” I meant that he wouldn’t want me to have a girlfriend if it was his sister, just he scoffs.
“Think about it! This year was completely fucked and yeah a lot of good shit happened but imagine how much easier the bad shit would be if you were in love.”
“You’re disgusting. Us ten years ago would be gagging at this conversation.”
He’s smiling still, “Yeah and that’s because I am in love.” I roll my eyes at his cheesy ass, “How do you have no roster, mate? It’s honestly embarrassing.”
“Maybe I do.” I sip my coffee, “I don’t have to tell you everything.”
“Maybe i’m just hanging out with Y/n and P too much, their best friend girly vibes are fun.” He points to me, “Still, it’s break! Get your groove on!”
I walk faster, shaking my head. “Groove? I’m going to leave you in the snow.”
⋆༺
you
I’m in a mini dress in the snow. What could go wrong?
I slip five minutes out the door which makes Lando’s arm become my new best friend even though my faux fur coat keeps tickling him.
We may or may not have pregamed for the tiny local bar which has me slipping on ice. “Four jolly jolly shots please…” Lando reads off the bar's menu, laughing a bit.
He looks good. Like really really good. His curls are perfect as usual and when he leans over to talk to the bartender, his dark green shirt tugs against his arms.
My brothers arm goes around my neck, tugging me and laughing, “Merry Christmas, sis!”
“Let go of me you vermin!”
“Shots!” P sings, handing me mine.
“Cheers to us!” Max grins, holding his tiny glass up.
“Cheers to Christmas.” P smiles happily.
Lando taps his glass on the table along with us, winking at me, “Cheers.” We all down the weird peppermint alcohol and swiftly make our way to the dance floor.
We sing along to shitty music and dance together in a crowd of college kids home for break, and their parents.
Lando’s hand finds my waist and is quickly slapped away. He gives me a pouty look which I find annoyingly attractive and quickly turns it into a smirk.
I down my drink, spinning back to my friends and dodging a guy and his friends. “Hey!” The guy smirks and I accidentally laugh in his face, he looks about five years younger than me and is staring at my chest.
I find my friends laughing and drinking with a random man who sort of looks like santa.
“Y/n!” Lando puts his arm around me which I promptly pull off.
“Aren’t you busy trying to hook up with a tourist?” I blink at him while my brother and P are distracted.
He leans in a bit, “You’re a tourist, aren’t you?”
“You trying to get in my pants, Norris?” This makes him smile.
“I’m familiar with the area.”
I find myself at the bar again, but this time I order water. P and I giggle at the sight of Max and Lando just standing there looking lost without us.
“I’m really proud of you.” P says out of the blue.
I frown, “Thanks? I’m proud of you too.”
“I just mean… you’ve been through a lot.” I know what she means. My ex. “And you’re the best person I know.”
I smile, “I adore you, P.”
The truth is, my ex cheating really did break me. But I already knew something was wrong. I wasn’t being treated correctly and honestly breaking up with him was not on the top of my to-do list.
P was always there for me, my brother is a lot to handle and sometimes I just need a girl to talk to. That girl for me is P.
She pops back to her boyfriend while my water gets refilled. I swear this altitude is fucking with me, i’m so thirsty all the time.
“Hi.” I'm about to yell at the college guy who approaches me, until I realize there is no way this man is under twenty five.
“Oh! Hi.” I smile politely and tap the bar.
I clock his douchy attitude as soon as his ringed hand (which definitely came from shein) and patchwork tattoos land on the bar, clearly flexing.
“You’re gorgeous… Sorry, I just had to tell you!” He acts shy, like it’s horribly embarrassing to hit on. woman.
“Thank you…” Is all I can say before he continues.
“I’m Seth!” He’s australian… I think? He’s got short hair with dark skin that makes his eyes pop. “Are you visiting? I am.”
I nod and sip my water, “Yeah…”
“My girlfriend used to live here! My friends let me choose the place and…” He’s going on a long rant that I definitely did not consent to hear.
He’s loud in the way that i’m embarrassed to be heard with because he’s talking nonsense and trying to scoot closer to me with every word he speaks.
I bring my glass to my lips again, looking around then back to Seth who is still talking about his ex. Did I do something to offend the universe?
The hand on my hip scares me, but I don’t jump. I know the feeling too well by now. Lando’s smiling at the bartender, a protective arm around me, “Three green tea shots, thanks.”
He leans his hip against the bar, holding me close as my cheeks go red and I start chugging my water. Seth looks absolutely astonished, “Who’s your new friend, Sunshine?”
“Seth.” I say, swirling my straw around the cold glass.
“Hey man…” Seth looks scared. “I- I didn’t know she was taken.”
“She’s not.” He’s quick with it and I have to bite back my smile to contain myself from embarrassing Seth even more.
“Oh…” Seth hums, clearly wanting to go but I know Lando’s doing that thing where he states blankly at someone while smiling. “Well uh…”
“Choose your words carefully, Seth.” Lando slides him the shot then hands one to me. I decline and he downs it easily.
“Thanks.” He downs the drink with Lando, “And sorry.” Seth looks at me before scurrying off.
I turn to Lando, his hand never moving from my body, “Who knew you were so intimidating?
He shrugs, “I don’t mess around with the people I care about. Plus he just seemed like he was bugging you.”
“Quite talkative.” I smile softly as he laughs, “You’re good at the whole protective act.”
“Who said I was acting?” His face is serious when he says it, but immediately changes when he hears Max’s voice.
“Yo!” His hand drops to his side and he smiles at my approaching brother, “They have karaoke!”
P and Max end up on stage exactly two drinks later. I stick to water, my head already hurts from the others singing.
They're singing Ain’t No Mountain High Enough, and sort of slaying it. Max spins P as they both laugh and pretend they’re at some sort of concert.
“Please get up there!” I giggle with Lando, my hand on his arm as he smiles at me in that dreamy way he does so often.
“No way, Sunshine.” His eyes lined on my lips, his words a bit slurred.
“Please, Lan?”
A smirk tugs at the corner of his lips, “What’ll you give me if I do?” My breathing quickens as he looks at me, drunk and so out of it that he looks like he’s about to kiss me.
I reach my arm out to fix the messy bit of his hair. His eyes follow my hand and drift down my arm back to me. There’s something so personal about the way he looks at me but it’s hard to explain.
He’s got many different expressions and maybe I'm just a bit self centered, but I swear he has some just for me.
He’s drunk now so all secrecy goes out the window. He’s lucky Max and P are singing so horribly on the tiny sticky stage.
“Whatever you want.” I pull my hand away, “When you’re sober, though.”
“I’m not even that many drinks in!” He scoffs in a whiny tone.
He’s five drinks in I think.
“But i’ll do whatever you say apparently.” His chair makes noise against the floors, practically pushing P and Max off the stage as his chosen music starts.
Linger, by the cranberries.
My smile grows as he starts, absolutely butchering the song immediately. He looks fucking free and absolutely ridiculous.
The microphone against his lips as he spins around and points to me, “You’ve got me wrapped around your fingerrrrrr!”
It was my favorite song in highschool.
He’s a terrible singer and incredibly drunk but knows all the lyrics by heart.
Max starts videoing and Lando flips him off, P is actually in tears and I feel a sense of calm and quiet happiness. It’s weird to think about, especially surrounded by sound and drunken people.
Still, I really do appreciate my friends in moments like these. I watch Lando on the stage again, his eyes are closed and he’s singing along quietly.
Most of the bar claps when he’s done, providing him false confidence even as he almost falls from the stage.
Lando slumps himself in the chair next to mine, Max and I speaking about old Christmas’ and how weird it is that so many things have changed.
P talks about her family traditions and how she’s happy we’re all together even if it is a bit unconventional.
Lando stays quiet, just hums along to the music and keeps his eyes closed. Max laughs at his friend, “Ready for bed, Bob?”
“I can drive back.” I sit up.
Max and P aren’t quite ready to go and assure me that they can take a cab. Lando, however is piss drunk and giggling at everything I say.
He holds onto my hand as we leave, the cold air hitting him like a wreck, “Ay!” He practically runs to the car, tries to get in the driver's seat, and finally gives in to me driving.
“I don't want to go back!” He complains as I drive off.
“We can… look at lights?” He nods eagerly and rests his head against my arm, his fingers drift up and down my arm, doodling invisible drawings.
I drive through the small neighborhoods, all quiet for the time of night. The lights are bright and nothing like where I actually live.
Lando slips his hand in mine, holding it tight and looking out the front window. I let him rub his thumb against my skin, acknowledging the goosebumps it sends up arm.
Maybe I let myself pretend like it means something more than Lando’s drunk touchy self.
His curls brush my bare arm because he requested I take off my coat and turn the heat up instead because it was ‘itching him’.
And I did it because something about Lando makes me just want to say yes.
“I wanna house like that.” He says, pointing to a medium sized white home. It’s got colorful lights all over and a tiny display of Rudolph in the yard.
“I like this one.” I take my free hand off the wheel for a second and point. It’s across the street and covered in white lights.
I keep driving as Lando turns the radio on which is playing Christmas music.
He hums along with the song that he most definitely doesn’t know.
His hand goes to my hair, twirling it around his finger as he looks up at me, doe eyed, “Can I have my reward now.”
“You’re nowhere close to being sober, love.”
He stops when I speak, whispering as if there’s a million people around, “You called me love.”
“You’re not even gonna remember this tomorrow.”
He gasps, “Tomorrow's Christmas eve! What a good present. You love me.” He hums and rests his head back against my shoulder.
“Keep dreaming, Norris.” I say while smiling.
We look at all the different lights, rating them and laughing. I mostly laugh at drunk Lando who can’t stop laughing.
Lando rolls down the window and even though it’s freezing, I let him. It’s silent out, except for our music on low.
“Do you like me?” Lando asks as I start back to our place.
I raise a brow, “Sure.”
“But do you?” He looks up at me but I don’t dare look down.
“I don’t hate you.”
It’s easier to get him into the house than it was to get him in the car. Besides a tiny slip, he laughs it off and instantly pulls his shirt off when we step inside the hot house.
We both stumble upstairs, I'm so tired that I could fall asleep on the floor. Yet I drag myself into the bathroom and remove my makeup and change into sweats and a hoodie.
Lando is in sweats now, leaning against the bathroom door as I brush my hair. “I can’t sleep.”
I laugh, “You haven’t even tried.”
“Come with me?” I shake my head, going to my own bed. He follows me still, catching my wrist and begging, “Please. I’m cold.”
“You have no shirt on.”
“I want you to.” He admits and for a second I wish he wasn’t so fond of Vodka.
I’m dragged into his bed, his arms wrapping around me quickly and humming against my hoodie, “You’re warm.” His hand goes to mine again, holding it.
“You’re gonna get us in trouble.” I say as I see the smirk on his face.
“The doors locked.”
His hand is still intertwined with mine when he looks up at me. I probably look terrible, but he just smiles.
“You’re really beautiful, Sunny.” His voice is clear and the softest it’s been in a while, especially while drunk.
He yawns and rests his head back on me. Lando whispers while his eyes are closed, i’m not even sure if he meant to say it out loud, but he does. “I hate you for it.”
It’s the first time his words really hit me.
“Why?” I whisper, staring up at the ceiling.
“You know.” And then he’s asleep and i’m stuck with a man cuddling me who I think I just might like more than I ever thought I could.
⋆༺
There’s few times in my life where I completely regret my life’s decisions. This might just be one of them.
Max is staring at us with his mouth open.
Max is staring at Lando’s shirtless self and his bare arm that’s around me!
I elbow Lando so hard that he wakes up with a groan. “Five more minutes.” He tries to pull me closer but I slap him again.
He opens his eyes this time, at first they’re narrowed at me as if I had the audacity to wake him up. Then he turns his head to what i’m staring at and promptly sits up straight.
“Goodmorning, Max!” He grins.
“Shut the fuck up.” My brother responds, Lando’s face goes slack and lays back down, covering his face with a pillow, “Is this why you two wanted to leave early yesterday?”
“No!” I say right as Lando says, “Yes!”
“I think I'm going to throw up.” Max starts pacing while I see P peek her head in from my room, surveying the situation as I mouth ‘help me’ and he leaves me.
“Chill out! Nothing happened.” I say while Lando moans and reaches for the water on his bedside table. “Right, Lando!?” I hit him again.
He sends me an annoyed look, “Right.” He takes a drink, wiping his mouth and looking at Max, “Trust me mate if something did happen she wouldn’t be wearing anything.”
I think he might still be drunk.
Max and I scream in unison. I climb out of the bed, my leg getting stuck in the bedsheet.
“I came to check if you two were still alive because it’s eleven in the morning, but Lando’s door was locked. Yours wasn’t and your room connector was wide open!” I roll my eyes and stomp into my room.
“His drunk ass practically dragged me in there and I wanted to sleep!” I shrug, putting on my slippers and pulling my bed head hair into a messy bun.
“My head is pounding, can you two be quiet!?” Lando says from the other room.
Max follows me down the stairs, “Nothing happened?”
“Nothing happened!” I echo, finding P in the kitchen and sending her a wide eyed look, “He was drunk, Max.”
I pour myself some coffee, crossing my arms as Max gives me a look. Lando comes thumping down the stairs, hoodie on now with his hair an absolute mess. “Guys…”
Max stops him, “If you make another sex joke Lan, I might kill you.”
“Hey!” He groans, taking my coffee from out of my hands and drinking it! I roll my eyes and pour myself another. “I was just going to say-”
“Choose your words very carefully, Norris.” I mumble.
“Happy Christmas Eve.” He raises his mug, smiling at all of us.
“Oh.” Max blinks as P lets out a little snort.
“Well then…” P smiles at me, “I think it’s time to cook!”
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uravitypng · 10 months ago
Text
𝐢'𝐦 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬
pairing: bakusquad x chubby reader (katsuki bakugo + hanta sero + mina ashido + eijiro kirishima + denki kaminari)
word count: 4.4k words
a/n: definitely haven't been working on this for months <33 this turned out more fluffy than intended for a free use fic asdfghj. basically they all need to be dating!!! none of the bakusquad have any contact with each other... yet... idk i might make a part two where they're not just taking turns but all together with the reader
content warnings: free use, unprotected vaginal sex, oral (f!recieving & m!recieving), vaginal fingering, multiple orgasms, cockwarming, groping, biting, dumbification, slight breeding mention, somno, wlw, spanking, petnames - mdni (like my whole tumblr)
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when becoming friends and roommates with the bakusquad you didn't realise what it would exactly entail. becoming friends with five successful pro heroes while you're a civilian is something you would never expect, not in your wildest dreams, so it's not a surprise to you that your feelings for them grew with each day and after a particular turn of events you let them use you however they wanted. if they want to take out their frustrations of a stressful day by roughly fucking you than you're more than willing to oblige to their request or if they want to tenderly make love to you after an emotional and exhausting day you're more than willing to oblige- you're their toy after all.
they'll use you anywhere and anywhen, it doesn't matter if you're in public or if you're sleeping, you've given them your full consent.
the first time it happened was with katsuki. he was angry and annoyed and you didn't know what to do, you've never truly seen him like this before and you haven't been friends with him as long as the others have been friends with him, you didn't want to make it worse. ideally you would ask the others what you should do but they were all busy working.
you later found out a journalist cornered him after a minor rescuing incident and asked him more intrusive questions than normal and that day it got to him more than normal too. for some reason the press always seems to ask him more personal questions than other heroes you know and you can't figure out why but you have a few ideas: to see his reaction, to get more information about his private life from him because he's one of the more secretive heroes, or to see his 'real' personality wondering if everything they see in public is all just an image.
"i'm sorry katsuki. is there anything i can do to make you feel a bit better?" you ask him and in less then ten seconds he's pinned you against the wall and is biting your bottom lip making you moan, giving him the opportunity to move his tongue into your mouth, intertwining your tongues and muffling any surprised noises that threaten to come out of you. you feel his large callus palms run all over your body as he pushes up your shirt and touches every single part of his skin he can get his hands on, leaving bruises and pretty marks to decorate your equally pretty body.
katsuki shoves his hand underneath your underwear, not bothering to take off your clothes and fingers you until you start screaming his name and your vision begins to go blurry.
"holy shit katsuki. feel's so good." he pumps two of his thick fingers inside of you and his ego soars as he not only feels how wet you are but hears it too as your cunt squelches and you clench around his fingers. he smirks as you come undone on his fingers chanting his name over and over again, your fists gripping onto his shirt tightly.
"this'll make me feel better," he grunts and tries to press his body closer to yours than it already was, your tits now completely pressed against him. "god shitty woman how oblivious can ya be? swear you're useless sometimes. a fucking dumbass." if you were someone else you might have taken offence to him calling you shitty woman or useless especially in the position you're currently in but you're use to him calling you names by now knowing he doesn't mean them negatively, if anything they're affectionate, most of the time he'll call people extras and you're glad he doesn't see you as an extra.
"oblivious?"
katsuki grits his teeth, "shut up," he grunts and you feel his hardened cock against your thigh, he slams his lips against yours again and starts kissing you even more furiously, if you didn't know better you'd say passionately but you don't think he'd ever kiss you passionately.
he sees your eyes glazed over with a daze on your face and smirks. his hand goes behind you to cups the curve of your ass then slaps with the sound echoing against the walls, making you whine. you feel the humidity that's resting on his palms and your whole body tingles imaging him using his quirk (controlled) on you.
"no one else has made ya feel this good have they sweetheart?" he asks gruffly already knowing the answer.
"no, no one else 'suki. no one has ever made me ever feel this good!" you reply honestly, tears starting to fill your waterline.
he knows you're being honest and if anything you're being more forgiving of your previous sexual encounters and talking more favourable about your past sexual partners than they deserve. "fuckin' criminal."
after what happened with katsuki you sat down with your friends and told them that you give them your consent to use you whenever. katsuki looked so much calmer after and his body looked more relaxed, less tension. you couldn't help but think that your other friends would be the same.
you were bashful the whole time while speaking, mumbling and looking away, your whole face felt like it were on fire but you were offering to help them all, you knew how stressful their work is and you wanted to help.
you want them, you wouldn't tell them that part though, neither did you ever have to think hard on your proposal.
all of them loved the idea, why wouldn't they? they're madly in love with you. over time all of them fell in love with you but none of them would ever make a move on you not willing to lose or jeopardise the friendship they have with you nor are they willing to make a move while knowing how the others feel about you either. you're sweet, and kind, and beautiful, and brilliant, and a hundred million more things that make you special in their eyes.
none of them thought they would ever get the chance to be with you in any such way, romantic or sexual, and they were more then content with being your friend, strictly platonic, but now they get to be your friend and they get to sleep with you, they're ecstatic.
hanta likes cockwarming with you, every single chance he gets he pulls you onto his lap and onto his cock without warning and puts on a movie to watch as he watches you squirm and try to keep still but it's so hard keeping still when the longest dick you've ever seen is inside of you and you feel it throbbing.
hanta sees you struggling and grins as you shift around and whimper quietly. you're biting your hand to try to keep silent but it's ineffective. "hush princesa, i'm trying to watch the film." he says teasingly, holding onto your plush waist to keep you from moving and lifts up your top, caressing your soft skin making you get goosebumps from the sensation of his cold rings touching you.
occasionally he'll lazily thrust up into you, making you squeak, he'll chuckle at the noises you make and get off on how needy you are for him. "you look so beautiful sitting on my lap mi amor," your heart flutters and your face heats up whenever he calls you affectionate names in his first language and especially when he calls you my love, "but aren't you suppose to be pleasing me? you seem very needy and demanding for someone who has offered their body to me." you shudder as he speaks, still with his hand caressing your body.
you look at him and pout, causing his grin to widen. "not my fault, you feel really good."
hanta's voice drops lower and becomes husky while he leans closer to you, "yeah?"
you nod your head and try to wrap your arms around him, admittedly unsuccessfully from the position you're currently in as you're facing away from him to 'watch' the movie with him, making hanta chuckle. "yeah," you reply.
hanta smirks as he looks down at you over your shoulder and tenderly strokes your arm, "beg me to move." with no hesitation you beg.
with everyone else they'll take what they want from you and get you to come as many times as they want (if they do want you to cum) without you having to beg but hanta is different, he'll make you cry and beg for him. no matter how horny he is he'll wait for you to become putty in his hands as you cry buried in the crook of his neck, trying to grind against him and wetting his shoulder with your tears, pleading for anything he gives you. he loves seeing you cry for him and plead for his cock.
you're always so pliant for him and he likes to make you even more pliant. as your reward for listening to him he grabs your wide hips and starts to move you up and down, harshly, making the ability to breathe leave your body momentarily at the sudden movement all while cooing at you, albeit condescendingly. "awe does that feel good princesa? you finding it hard to take it all?" he grins as you tip your head back and rests it on his shoulder, your moans getting louder, unable to respond and form a coherent sentence.
you feel like you feel him all the way in throat, a completely impossible thought of course but it's hard to think otherwise with each time he slams you back down and your pelvis meets his it's making you lose every braincell you have with how good you feel and how good he fills you up.
"open up," you compliantly open your mouth still in a daze and hanta spits in your mouth, grinning as he watches you swallow it without any prior audible command to do so already knowing from previous liaisons.
his pace changes, every so often becoming quicker with shallow thrusts than back to a regular pace with deeper thrusts just to tease you and make you light headed, not knowing what to expect next. his groans become more audible and he grips onto you tighter, his blunt nails making a crescent imprint on your hips. "s-shit hanta i can't, too much."
"i thought you were my good girl. you were begging for me only awhile ago." he smirks, starting to get close.
"i am! i am your good girl, promise! just 's a lot."
he chuckles at your obedience, you really are his good girl, made for him- and the others.
but he does wonder if you're that obedient with them as you are with him.
he purposefully slows down his pace and wraps one arm around your supple middle keeping you bouncing and tilts your chin up to look at him with his other hand before placing a gentle chaste kiss on your lips.
mina seizes every opportunity to lay lingering wet kisses down your neck all the way to your chest. you get goosebumps as you feel her breath against your skin and feel the sticky lipgloss left over from her lips.
mina never wears lipstick but she's nearly always seen wearing lipgloss and they're always flavoured ones, enjoying the look of how the sticky remnant remains on your skin after being transferred from her lips and how you seemingly unconsciously swipe your tongue out over your own lips afterwards to taste the flavour that remains.
whenever a man comes onto her apparently not understanding the word 'no' she comes straight to you afterwards so she can feel you up and touch your soft body and curves. you're so much better than anyone else and she's so glad that you let her touch you however and whenever she wants.
beforehand when someone was so persisted that it grossed her out she still would come to see you, you were roommates and very close friends after all. mina would complain about them and you would listen and bash them because how dare they keep being so disrespectful, unable to be take a hint or handle rejection.
the entire time when mina used to talk about them she'd think about how soft your lips looked, how good her hand would look wrapped around your throat and how she wants to go down on you so bad that you pull her hair and more importantly squeeze your thighs together in between her head.
"such a sweet little thing for me," she tells you and kisses your ankle. you whimper and she opens up your thighs wider for now, wanting to get a good look at your pretty pussy. mina flicks her tongue up against your pussy lips making a shiver run down your spine before her tongue enters into your soaking hole, moaning at your taste and your aroma, making her dizzy in the process. you can't help but squeal and shudder at the sensation as her eyes gleam with every new noise you make. she removes her tongue from inside of you, the sweet taste still lingering on her tongue. she flicks her tongue up again, curling two fingers back into you and starts sucking on your clit.
the pleasure builds up inside of you with every curl of her fingers, "that's a good girl, come for me," mina mumbles against your clit and you squeeze your thighs with mina's head between them, not being able to stop yourself as you're about to come again for the third time in an hour.
"oh fuck, min-" the last syllable of mina's name is silenced in an inaudible groan as the coil in your stomach snapped and you unravelled where she helped to ride out your orgasm still between your doughy thighs.
now she gets her wish whenever she wants as she's able to look up to see how your voluptuous body shakes. she gets to feel how soft and warm your thick thighs feel wrapped around her head.
as you calm down from another intense orgasm you move to look at mina, "what about you?" hinting that you desperately want to return the favour.
she can see the neediness in your eyes and giggles. "i can't right now sweet pea, i've got to go to work."
"already?"
mina giggles again, "i'll be back soon babes then we can carry on from where we left off, okay?" she smiles brightly and takes her leave feeling equalling as needy as you but who can blame her when she spent the last hour pleasuring you and feeling your plump body underneath hers and getting you see your gorgeous face scrunched up in pleasure. mina doesn't mind the needy feeling though as the look on your face is worth it as she leaves because she knows when she comes back home you'll make her feel just as good as she made you feel.
eijiro works nights a lot of the time which means typically you get woken up by him. this means most nights you sleep with only a nightie on or a baggy pyjama shirt foregoing underwear or pyjama bottoms so eijiro doesn't have to worry about fiddling with any layers and pulling them down. the only exemptions about the clothes are when it's particularly cold that night.
after work he'll want to feel your soft body squish in between his fingers as he presses down on your malleable skin, groping you wherever he can get his hands on and pumping his girthy cock in his other hand a couple times, wanting to be buried in that sweet cunt that he loves so much so it's no surprise to you to be woken up to his grunts and gentle thrusts.
whenever you do wake up he feels guilty. he knows you need, and like your sleep and he never intended to wake you up so he strokes the sides of your body and softly tells you to go back to bed while kissing your temple.
sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but no matter the outcome of trying to get you to go back to sleep your body always has the same reaction, mewls and moans leaving your body involuntarily and you becoming more and more wet with each thrust that it's dripping down to your thick thighs.
the times when you don't fall back to sleep you don't move much, very much a pillow princess in those moments but that's what eijiro prefers. he likes looking after you and treating you like the princess you are. he enjoys doing all the work so when you do wake up all you can do is rub your eyes sleepily and moan louder while he tries to shush you because no doubt someone has to be up in a few hours for patrol.
"p-please," you whine but you don't know what you're begging for. eijiro knows though as he pushes the remaining inches of his cock inside of you, you both hiss, and he slowly and deeply starts moving in you. you grab hold of his muscular forearms and whine about the pleasurable stretch.
you turn your head to the side so your neck is bare. he knows what you want more than your tired words can mumble out so he turns your neck further to the side than you did to keep you still and bites down, not hard enough to cause serious pain and break your skin but enough to hurt slightly and cause you to gasp, your mind momentarily going blank and your hips to jerk up.
before you started sleeping with eijiro you didn't know you liked the sensation of getting bitten so much until he bit you to keep himself quiet while at a very lively party. normally he wouldn't mind people hearing how good he makes you feel and vise versa but there was a minority of people at that party who were all trying to make a new hero commission and he didn't want to to draw attention to you or him with those people, knowing what the last commission did. even though you are just a civilian he wants to make sure they stay well away from you but still that wasn't enough to drag you into an empty room and fuck you until you couldn't stand after seeing how beautiful you looked that night.
ever since then biting became involved in your sex life. eijiro knew he liked biting people before you, he enjoys the surprised gasps and how bodies move but with you it's completely different, it's on a whole new level with how plump your body is, it's like heaven. no matter where he bites you there's always some part he can sink his teeth into making your body beautifully buck up uncontrollably. the whole experience and sensation making him groan and the noises you always make in bed are like no over- ethereal, just like the rest of you.
when he hears the slapping sound of your two bodies making contact get louder and louder and sees the creamy ring left over from each thrust he has to hold onto you tighter, gripping hold of your love handles, enough to leave bruises, and looking up at the ceiling not wanting to cum yet. he knows as soon as he looks down at your cute face or perfect body he'll immediately orgasm so to try and make himself last longer he'll look up.
that on top of the quicker pace and him touching your clit, just the way you like it, makes you come. you clench around him and moan words incomprehensibly causing him to come too as he feels you get tighter around him.
"gonna clean you up in a second baby just let me stay inside you for awhile." at this point you're both falling asleep, he wraps his muscular arms around you tighter and manhandles your chubby body so you're laying on top of him, your arm on his chest and your face in his neck, the whole time making sure his dick doesn't accidentally slip out of you. even though you're semi conscious you know that you're going to be sleeping like this all night, both of you are too tired to move, with your last moments of consciousness being your slow blinks that you use to gaze up at eijiro admiring how handsome he is, you like when his hair is down after showering because without it being styled to be spiky you can see his roots coming through, red mixing with his natural black, even now when he's half asleep and ready for bed he looks just as handsome as he does at any fancy hero event he attends. "you feel too good to get up and leave and anyway i've got to plug you full, breed you properly to make sure it sticks." he mumbles against your forehead half asleep, drifting off only a minute or so after.
out of everyone denki is the one to touch you the most, if no one else is kissing you he's taking the opportunity to kiss you and hold you all over. he's the most emotional and vulnerable when it comes to sex too. he feels safe around you, to let his carefree persona down and to be sensitive and vulnerable, just staying fully in the moment with you.
the first time you slept together, you kissed his chest all the way to his hips making his hips buck up. he had wanted you so bad for so long and now he finally had you.
originally, you had stroked his cock for the first time and you heard a string of moans and it immediately turned you on more than you already were. as he got closer to his release he said breathy, "please don't stop, this will probably be the only chance i ever get to touch you." it had shocked you not realising that he felt that way but you didn't stop, doing what you were told, and knowing you were going to talk to him after.
not long after, he came and you threw your arms around him, arms wrapped around his neck and clinging onto him. he was still catching his breath, "do you really think this was a one time thing denki? i told you all before that i want to do this." he blushed and squished your cheeks, a habit he had picked up on doing recently at the time, you swat his hands away and giggle, denki smiles.
denki is also the most possessive which surprised you, if you thought anyone would be possessive your guess would be katsuki but it's really denki. he gets jealous when you spend more time with the others than you do with him and will want your attention. it's even more noticeable when it comes to other people who aren't in the bakusquad.
if you ever smile too cheerfully at someone, laugh too loudly at someone's jokes or if someone flirts with you he gets extremely jealous, you never flirt back though, you have everything you need and sometimes you don't even realise they were flirting in the first place.
at times like that denki is the most vulnerable. as soon as you both get home he's kissing you tenderly and holding you like fragile treasured glass in his arms. most of the time he takes you to the bedroom and lays you on the bed but this time he pushes your head down gently and you fall to you knees carefully. "do you need a cushion babe?"
your heart warms at how considerate he is. you look up at him and shake your head, "i'm okay," you smile up at him and you don't miss the way his cheeks are dusted pink. unzipping his jeans and pulling them down, along with his boxers that already are wet with precum leaking from his cock, you kiss his thigh and stare at his .
denki holds onto your head as you part your lips and open your mouth, taking him in your mouth. you hollow your cheeks and grab a hold of his thighs. he keeps his hips still no matter how much he wants to rut inside your wonderful wet and warm mouth. when his hips do occasionally buck it makes you gag before he corrects himself and pushes back against the wall trying to control himself not to pound up into you, he wants you to control the pace. the moans that he makes as you take him further only spur you on as your pace gets quicker and your nose presses against his lean stomach momentarily before having to leave and gasp for air. denki may not be as thick as eijiro or as long as hanta but he's still big, more than people would assume, he's bigger than average (only if slightly.) denki's arm rests of his head while he takes deep breaths.
"fuck babe that was-" you cut him off as you take him in your mouth again and wrap your lips around him and you hollow your cheeks once again. his moans and groans become more frequent and you can tell that he's about to come.
his grip get's tighter while resting on your head and his groans get deeper. "gonna come, you swallow alright babe." you hum in confirmation, "shit, shit, shit," his eyebrows pinch together and his hot cum sprays in ropes at the back of your throat and you mourn not being able to properly fully taste him. denki lifts you up by your elbows and when you come face-to-face you kiss his cheek, he's not satisfied with that though and he passionately makes out with you not caring that he just came in your mouth and is holding onto your plush waist while grinning against your lips. "bedroom." he whispers in your ear making you shudder at the demanding tone he used, not often does he use it but whenever he does... well it makes your whole body tingle.
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unluckiestmember · 6 months ago
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Hey so I LOVED your X-Men x sweetheart reader and I was wondering if you could do a similar head cannon of X-Men x kind reader but their reaction to you being good with kids. I just feel like they would have various opinions or feeling if they saw you interacting with a child.
Coming right up!
X-Men '97 X Compassionate! Reader
Characters: Nathan Summers/Cable, Scott Summers/Cyclops, Jean Gray, Remy LeBeau/Gambit, Rogue, Kurt Wagner/Nightcrawler, Erik Lehnsherr/Magneto, Wanda Maximoff/Scarlet Witch, Pietro Maximoff/Quicksilver, Morph, Logan/Wolverine and Jubilee.
Warning: None. SFW.
A/N: So how did you guys feel about Deadpool and Wolverine?
Cable
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“Well would you look at that! Seems someone knows how to get along with the kiddies… Oh don’t mind me, keep playing.”
Cable isn’t used to hanging out with children or being around them due to his workload, but he does enjoy the presence of kids that look up to him. He hasn’t really thought about wanting kids because of his fear that the disaster of a future he’s from would be too harsh for a child to be raised, let alone he is scared that something will happen to them.
However, when he sees you being so compassionate with children, it makes him reconsider a little bit! The sight of you and the kids at the local shelter on his base laughing and playing together makes his heart sour. Whenever he finds himself down in the dumps and needs a good boost or reminder of what he’s fighting for, he will just watch you and the children happily running around and realize why he’s the famous freedom fighter the young ones and yourself admire.
Cyclops
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“Huh, you’re a natural at this! Makes me wonder how things would be when you become a parent of your own kid.”
When he sees you taking care of children on and off missions, Scott can’t help but stand and watch you with the biggest smile tugged on his lips. The sight of you all happily living your lives without a care in the world makes him remember the civilians he is fighting for. And more importantly, it makes him think of giving the family thing another shot!
Can you blame him? The way you are with children makes him daydream a perfect life away from the mansion raising a family together and properly being there for your child. Though there is hesitance to it all due to the result of Nathan and his last relationship, if you assure him, then he will definitely try to be a father again. Because with you by his side, can he really fail again?
Jean Gray
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“Aww! Are you playing nice? Mind if I join in? I’m sure they would love to see my powers in action.”
Jean has thought of having a family with you when everything is settled down. So before she can have this ideal world of raising a kid with the love of her life, she can get a peek into a potential future in the brief moments of you caring for children, mutant or human. Whenever she sees you taking care of a child, usually during a mission, she will assist you in any way and naturally take up a mother role she’s used to having around the mansion.
The team can always find you two trying to make sad or distraught children on missions turn their frowns upside down with some powers or just speaking to them and making sure they are heard. You and Jean are definitely the go to for young ones, and if you both around children confirms anything, it’s that you two would be great parents someday.
Gambit
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“Look at you all go! Mind if Gambit takes a stab at this, mon amour? I’m sure I can win their hearts. I won yours, didn’t I?”
Gambit is used to dealing with the younger folk of the world because of his time around them back home. So when he’s around children, he can easily adapt to them by playing some mindlessly fun games, pulling off tricks with his cards or telling some jokes. That’s not surprising though. What’s really surprising is him finding out you’re a pro when it comes to little kiddies!
When he found out you were a natural, he was beyond impressed by you and even let his mind wonder on a more intimate possible future down the line for the both of you. Around children, he’ll have you both as a package deal with you as the caring caretaker and him as the funny guy who will not hesitate to flirt and send signals your way in front of the kids. With how much he’s flirted with you, the kids always mistake you two for a married couple! A married couple… That doesn’t sound half bad.
Rogue
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“You got these kids all excited, running and screaming like a bunch of baby banshees! You’re a natural, babe!”
Rogue wasn’t a big kid person on missions. She simply gets the job done and if there are children that need assistance she leaves it to someone who can be more intimate without fearing they’ll hurt them. She stayed this way until you showed off innocently how well you were with younger civilians.
At first when the mission called for dealing with kids, Rogue watched you from the sideline in silent awe of your tender love and care for children that were distraught or needed a distraction. Yet with time, simply watching you gave her the courage to join in and actually help out by giving out free rides on her back or showing off her immense strength. Together you two are a happy fun couple kids love to be around as much as Rogue just loves being around you. Now whenever there’s a mission with the young ones, she’s more than excited to tag along with you and live in the moment.
Nightcrawler
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“May I cut in? I can play a mean game of tag!… Really?! Then round up the kiddies because I’m it!”
Because of Genosha, Nightcralwer is just as good with children as you are! He enjoys his time with the little ones around town or during stakeouts because of how accepting they are of him and how much their laughter fills his heart with joy. Now mix your own laughter in because of your handling with them and the blue devil was sure he was getting a slice of heaven.
The both of you are so well together and with others that the team delegates you both to taking care of the children on missions and making sure they’re okay. Around you both, the kids can expect a bunch of games to be played and a lot of memories to be made. Whenever a mission calls for babysitting, Nightcrawler knows exactly who to call on to assist him in having a little bit of fun on the job!
Magneto
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“The future of mutants is bright if you’re around to bring such laughter and happiness.”
Though Erik has children of his own, he’s pretty subpar for a caretaker let alone a babysitter of mutant children. He tries his best of course, but the lack of fatherhood he was allowed made him a bit rough around the edges. Luckily he can depend on you to pick up where he lacks and he thanks you deeply for that.
Everytime he takes a moment to look at you with kids just minding your own business and being giddy without a care in the world, it makes him wonder if he’d be open to trying to raise a family once again. He knows with age and with the weight on his shoulders, it may be harder for him. But if you’re by his side, he wouldn’t mind giving it another try and stepping up to the plate to be a better father than he ever was for Wanda and Pietro.
Morph
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“Hey, if the kids want to see a few tricks, send them my way, alright? I can throw them for a loop and think there’s two yous running around!”
Morph is decent with children, but they mainly leave that kind of work to you. When it comes to the more emotional attachment, they need a bit of work on that, but if you’re talking tricks and jokes? Then they are the right person to work with on missions dealing with kids!
They use your connection with children to playfully throw you for a loop by shapeshifting into someone and tricking you a lot just to get some laughter in the air. Most of the time he succeeds but there have been a few times where both of you just team up in some funny interactions that are bound to leave the children happy in your presence. Honestly, Morph wouldn’t care so much, but since you’re around? They don’t know- You just bring out that side of them! And they kind of love it!
Wolverine
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“Of course you’d be good with the children, what did I expect?… Don’t mind me, I’m just keeping watch. Have fun.”
Children and Logan don’t mix that well. He just finds it annoying to babysit when he already does that with the teenagers at the mansion. Add that with some crying, whining and begging and he becomes pretty livid. Which is why he doesn’t like missions that deal with kids. That is, unless you’re there to help him out.
He finds your handling of children to not only be a big help for him but also a nice change of pace. It’s adorable seeing how kids easily gravitate towards you and how you let them do whatever they want. Whenever they have you pinned down in a game or surrounded, Logan can’t help but laugh at the cute little ambush before he breaks everything up. He doesn’t like kids and he still can’t stand them. But you make them more bearable, so there’s always that!
Jubilee
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“Hey, babe! Send the kids over here- I’m gonna do a mad fireworks show for them!”
Jubilee is, surprisingly enough, really good with kids! She’s a lot like a cool aunt to your nurturing parent bit! She thinks it’s cute that you’re good with children and even compliments you around them when she’s not busy with other kids on a mission. The firecracker can rely on you to assist her or even stop her from making whacky moves that could get some children hurt out of pure excitement.
It’s not hard for everyone to know you two are a couple because of how much she calls you by pet names or makes fireworks that send signals to you if not make some look like you. It’s awfully sweet of her and it makes you comment that not only is she a great girlfriend, but she’d also make a great mom. Though, it’s highly recommended to hold that because if Jubilee hears you speak of motherhood, she’ll cringe at the thought. She likes kids, don’t get her wrong! But she could never be a mom!
If you got any requests for X-Men '97 or Arcane, send them my way!
Likes and retweets are always appreciated! I love you all, stay hydrated and have a good day! <3
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