#i need to be done so bad

[chemmerson]

WHY DO THESE THINGS ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME!!!!!

[hansoeii]

this one's for you, edwin paine

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[wasyago]

a random cleo in armor

[starjunkyard]

Hilson should have had ONE. (1) honest to god fistfight. Not talking about no pansy ass scuffle either i need a FIGHT. Im talking bloodied noses nd bruised cheeks. I need them to exchange words that will alter the course of their relationship forever. MOST OF ALL. They need to make out nastystyle afterwards

[lotus-pear]

charm stat at debonair ‼️‼️

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Laios's three Boy Best Friends. And yes, they hate him.

[abacistat]

very self indulgent kon's loosey based on alien superstar by beyonce ^_^ close ups under the cut

[beets]

baby, bi bi bi

[bunnieswithknives]

Thinking about his brain

[cahootings]

Quick question. what the fuck is this

[memorydatas]

chat do you guys think im cooking

[flapjack-biscuit-scone]

may i interest you in a shitty meme based on this post

[bet-on-me-13]

What if I'm the Monster?

(Based on Monster from Epic the Musical, it's incredible, give it a listen)

So! For the past few years, Danny has done nothing but defend Amity Park from Agressive Ghosts, Lunatic Ghost Hunters, and the GIW, all on his own. But no matter what he does, he is always seen as a Monster by the people of the town, just for being a Ghost.

Over the years he has lost a lot.

His Best Friend. His Mentor. His Mom.

Tucker was caught by the GIW and arrested for helping Phantom, and was never heard from again. His Parents still visit the Mayor's office for any word of him, but no one has any idea what happened.

Danny and Clockwork had a falling out after Danny refused to go down his intended path. He wanted to live his own life, one not predetermined by a Time God. Clockwork had told him that he would regret the decision, and left.

And his Mom had died after discovering his secret. She had surprisingly accepted him, but then the GIW had tried to capture him and she decided to defend him, and she got caught in the crossfire.

Every time Danny tried defending the people of Amity Park, he was vilified and hated even more. He would never be a Hero in their eyes, he was no Justice League. He had lost so much just defending them, but he couldn't bring himself to resent them, they didn't know what they were doing, it was how they were supposed to think. He still needed to defend them.

But he could no longer do so acting as the Hero.

Being a Hero stopped him from raiding the base that he assumed Tucker was being held in. Being a Hero led him to disagreeing with Clockworks advice. Being a Hero led to his Mom's death.

So he would be The Monster, instead.

[otaku553]

He’s perfectly sane I swear

My submission for @where-does-the-heart-lie‘s DTIYS! Congrats on one year on tumblr!! Your art is always an absolute delight to see :D I hope this does it justice!

[daemonmage]

Incorrect Batfam Quotes

After finding out Bruce is alive.

Dick: “Listen, if Tim say something to me I 100 percent believe that he believes it. So I believe it too.”

Tim: “I blew up several league of assassin bases.”

Dick: “I have no way to know if that is true but Tim said it so I believe it.”