#i need multiple creative outlets

[scummy-writes]

I know everyone only follows me for the fanfic stuff, but once in a while i just gotta go crazy with the envelopes/paper related crafts and then go back to writin

[tyrannuspitch]

i feel a little bit pathetic complaining about it but these computer problems are really starting to get upsetting like. i haven't had reliable access to a laptop for like seven or eight weeks now and i'm sick of it. i need that!!!

[superstarz9]

So y’all fw some MORE Mr. Puzzles headcanons?

Cause I got some :]

Even though he streams his content, Mr. Puzzles hates streaming over normal television and believes it ruins the momentum. The only thing he appreciates about streaming is the lack of ads. No matter how bad the ratings are, Puzzlevision is an ad-free service!

To add, product placement is a no-go. Any products he might advertise on a show are all Puzzlevision branded, not that he’d advertise much. He’s a smart business man, which I’ll go in-depth with another time.

He’s all about authenticity with his actors an really hates big-time celebrities. Celebrities are snobbish and aren’t easy for Puzzles to handle. He also doesn’t want people to engage with his shows solely because of famous names. The day he hires a celebrity is the day he becomes a sellout, and the idea of selling out terrifies him.

Mr. Puzzles does an extensive background check of every single cast member he recruits. Not just because he’s trying to find the perfect actors, but because he’s trying to find people that wont be missed if they mysteriously disappear for long periods of time. After a cast’s likability begin to dwindle, Puzzles brings them back as if nothing happened. Previous cast members won’t remember their time at Puzzlevision and have a hazy memory for a bit before they adjust to normal. If they watch a show that they’ve been in, they’re so disconnected from the show that they won’t recognize themselves. However, Puzzles is careful to avoid reruns after switching casts.

He absolutely hates reality tv for multiple reasons. It’s the farthest thing from reality, everything is so fake, and the writing is HORRIBLE! If the audience demands it, he’ll make a reality tv show, but it would be one of the few things he wouldn’t mind not hitting 5 stars. The less creative impact he has on the show, the less he cares for it.

He prefers live-action over animation, but highly respects animated shows.

He likes movies but heavily prefers tv since television has always been frowned upon within Hollywood and the entertainment industry (It’s actually interesting to know the beef between movie studios and tv, I recommend checking it out. To put in into perspective, picture the Disney theatre movies vs the straight to video movies: there’s a huge difference and it’s somewhat obvious of the cash-grab tv movies/shows are. The purpose of tv has always been a quick cash grab, actually. Kinda like the first content farm, to an extent). Puzzles wants to prove that television is a respectable media outlet and shouldn’t be frowned upon within the industry.

He is familiar with almost any televised language. The only major issue is that, yes, he needs subtitles to completely understand. However, he can hold a relatively decent conversation in most languages, he’d just need a few refreshers.

Already talked about it last post but he likes to cook and really enjoys cooking/baking shows. Y’know that thing where you’re good at one but not as good at the other cause they’re so different (you cook to your liking vs following a strict recipe for the best dessert outcome)? I feel like Puzzles would be perfect at baking alone but any baking show he does goes to absolute shit. However, he’s not as great at cooking alone (since he can’t taste) but it much better with a sous-chef guiding him.

This was someone else’s hc (I don’t remember who’s, I’m srry), but they brought up that the order of shows Mr. Puzzles makes with the SMG4 crew reflect the shows he watched growing up (the kids-y shows, family disney-type movies, teen stuff like Scooby-doo, and gameshows). I’d like to add that he enjoys making gameshows the most because he can be the main character in every episode, and everyone’s reactions are the most genuine. The only thing I can see Puzzles not liking is the lack of creativity (similar to reality tv). However, it would be pretty fitting for a production company called Puzzlevision to make game shows.

This one’s gonna be a little bit more depressing. No matter how hard he tries or how good he thinks his writing is, Mr. Puzzles cannot write anything original. It’s the curse of seeing every piece of televised media to ever be produced. He tries his best to be original but as the puzzlevision arc continues, he gradually stops trying to be original, which is what ultimately causes him to lose. While Puzzles keeps trying to copy other successful media and failing, it’s the originality the SMG4 crew produce that gets them to 5 stars (and extremely quickly, too). Puzzles fails to realize that the shows he loves and tries to replicate were original, too, and that’s what got them to succeed in the first place. I feel like this success from SMG4’s originality is what sparked Mr. Puzzles’ envy in the first place.

To add to this, Puzzles has been canonically spying and interfering with the SMG4 crew for a while (selling them the showgrounds, the cursed keyboard in the ITS GOTTA BE PERFECT arc, the Western Spaghetti arc), and is almost a direct parallel to SMG4. They both was to succeed and produce original content, striving for perfection. The only major difference is that Mr. Puzzles has been alone for the majority of his life whereas SMG4 has his crew. Despite this, however, SMG4 still snaps and isolates himself similarly to how Puzzles takes complete creative control.

Not having a proper friend/support group is also what causes Puzzles to fail, isolating himself from the rest of the world. Even though we don’t see much of the studio, it’s still pretty run down and barren, implying that Puzzles doesn’t spend much time there, if at all. Puzzles spends most of his time in the shows, directing/acting/ect, and avoiding the real world where he doesn’t have control. When he’s in the real world and bored, he dissociates a lot, planning out his next big projects.

To add, he’s not a big fan of modern technology as a whole, and sticks to older tech (like the older computer model in the teaser between the scooby episode and the gameshow episode and his head being an older computer). Same goes for the studio. I can totally see him walking into the decrepit building with the real estate agent being like “this building hasn’t seen the light of day since 200 b.c,” and Mr. Puzzles ecstatically goes “I’ll TAKE IT!” He’d also do his own renovations and film it for an abandoned house-flipping series, scrapping it later because he sucks at renovating.

He can’t take constructive criticism if his life depended on it. He tries, but all he thinks is “well these people just don’t understand TRUE art in this world!”

He can play shows/movies in the back of his mind whenever, and often does if he’s not on set. Y’know that reddit/tumblr post about the kid who memorized Shrek so much that he could just watch it from memory and his dad would catch him at the 37:14 mark and be like “stop watching shrek and go to bed,”? Yeah, Puzzles is like that. Only difference is that he can’t pause it, only tune it out.

He’ll watch them, but found-family sit-coms depress him. Shows like Friends, It’s Always Sunny in Philly, etc remind him of what his life could’ve been if he could’ve made friends properly.

To add to this, y’know how he projects himself in his shows? What if he did that with shows like Friends, where he’s a part of the cast and laughing along. He’d do it in his sleep and not even realize it’s a dream until the episode ends and he wakes up alone. :,]

On a lighter note, older tvs release a light frequency that gets louder the older it gets. Mr. Puzzles probably hums a frequency without realizing it that people can only hear if they’re close and he isn’t babbling away. Older tvs also kinds adjust(?) where they slightly creek a lil. Mr. Puzzles probably does, to, and it’s the equivalent of him cracking his neck.

He’s also more prone to shock people slightly, depending on how manic he is. If he rubs his gloves together he’s practically a battery.

He has a daily care routine that involves him carefully wiping his screen with windex.

These ones are more show/content based. If these continue to do well I’ll post some more general and maybe relationship hcs :]. If you guys have any suggestions/questions/critiques please let me know!

[whoreforjisung]

Pervy Neighbor Jisung Pt.2 ✨

Content/tags/warnings: smut / jisungxfem reader / perv!jisung / reader is a little bit of a perv too / masturbation(m,f) / “noona” / mentions of other members / drug use / panty stealing / cum eating / switch!jisung / switch!reader / mutual pining

Word Count: 4.2k

a/n: Since a lot of people seemed to enjoy my first one-shot, I decided to continue the story in multiple parts! Constructive criticism as well as requests are welcome! Next part will include the house-warming party 👀

Not proofread, all characters are only used for the purpose of face-claims and do not reflect real-life actions and behaviors of people involved

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It’s been almost a month since you moved in, and Jisung has, quite frankly, run out of material. As much as he adored that picture he snapped through your window of your delectable ass presenting itself to him, there were only so many scenarios he could logistically work with- his favorite being one of the first he conjured up, with you inviting him over during a yoga session on your balcony. He was especially fond of that one.

In fact, he had already run through them all several times, and as a man with a creative inclination, he needed new imaginary canvases to paint even more indecent imagery with. He really didn’t know how he ended up in this situation. Sure, he was always a man who thought more with the head between his legs than the one atop his shoulders, but he was never one to actively display such depraved behavior- that was, until you invaded his mind. You were akin to a captivating siren luring him out to the vast depths of the sea that was his lust for you, and he wasn’t quite sure that he wanted to resist your entrancing melody.

There were a few minor complications preventing him from reaching his goals, though. The first being how the hell he would successfully obtain fresh aids for his newfound private pastime. In order to give himself more inspiration to work with, he needed to get closer to you. Normally, he would not see this as an issue at all, as he was rather confident in his physical appearance and charisma. The second- and most debilitating issue, however, lies in your surely abhorrent first impression of him. A visceral chill creeps up his spine at the mere thought of what your current opinion of him must be.

After he fucked his frustrations into his fist every night to thoughts of you, he stared at his ceiling making mental diagrams of different approaches he could take for you to nudge him over to your good side. He may have doomed himself from the first day with his thoughtless and downright rude behavior, but he was determined to rectify the misunderstanding he had perpetuated.

Luckily for Jisung, his ever-reliable mate, Felix, had already taken the first steps for him- by adding you on various social media outlets. He had been mindlessly scrolling when you stood out in the crowd of faces in his suggested friends page. It may not seem like much, but the best possible starting point had practically fallen right into his lap. He now had access to your name, interests, dislikes, music taste, and friends list- conveniently right at his fingertips to educate himself with whenever he desired. Not to mention, one mouth-watering, jaw-dropping, boner-popping display of your gorgeously-proportioned body, clad in a slutty little powder blue string bikini- just for him. It was certainly claiming it’s spot at the top the spank bank for later. He’ll have to send Felix something as a token of his appreciation for that one.

Through his frequent investigations of your treasure trove of publicly accessible information, he learned that you are, in fact, one year older than him- that was going to do wonders for his little “noona” kink. His suspicions of you being an artist were correct, much to his delight, as he’s naturally attracted to creative minds. Your taste in music also aligns surprisingly well with his own. You have more tattoos than he originally thought- which he finds incredibly hot. In your bikini pic, he spotted a dazzling silver gem nestled above your belly button- also sexy. It made him wonder if you have more piercings in places hidden under the skimpy garment- he really hoped you did. One crucial piece of information he couldn’t deduce from his research, though, was your relationship status. If you were in a relationship, it couldn’t be a happy one. There was no indication of you having a partner on any of your platforms, so he decided it was unlikely.

Now that he learned as much as he possibly could about you without direct contact, he needed to find a way to repair your skewed perception of him. He could go with his original plan of just knocking on your door, introducing himself, and apologizing, but that seemed a tad bit more risky than he was comfortable with. Since you were apparently acquainted with Felix, maybe he could convince him to act as his wingman? No, he didn’t want to come across as desperate- even if he absolutely was. Maybe Miroh? The two of you were already friends on the game thanks to him assisting you with your S-Class Dungeon victory. He could help you through the slightly more daunting Levanter or Circus stages next. And then what? Just send “hey, by the way, I’m your new neighbor.”? You would wonder how he knew who you were, and instantly be creeped out- rightfully so. He’ll still help you through more dungeons anonymously though. The intense adrenaline rush he gets from it, along with the blood that rushes straight to his junk when you cutely beg him for help- is addictive.

Your bikini pic sufficed to tide Jisung over for another week and a half, shamelessly painting your image on his phone screen white at least once, sometimes twice, or even three times a day. During this time, he strolled the market he had discovered you frequented and gained some helpful intel- you were a bit closer to Felix than he originally thought, even stopping by the various stands he often helped out with to chat or drop off food for him. A few times, Jisung thought about coming up to him while you were there to introduce himself. Ultimately, he decided it would be best for you to naturally stumble upon them hanging out together. So, he cleverly plotted to join his friend with his market volunteering for the next month or so. The first week was a bust, since you seemed to be avoiding Felix with him in the picture now. Regardless, he didn’t let it discourage him, and attentively remained loyal to his plan.

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When you told Felix about how you didn’t host a house-warming party, as you didn’t really know anyone in the area yet, he offered to throw you one to introduce you to his friends. As he got to know you better, he knew you would fit right in with his friend group. When you agreed, he gave you descriptions of his seven closest friends. You were already briefly introduced to Minho, Changbin, Hyunjin, and Seungmin, but he threw in a few more names you didn’t recognize. Among the unrecognizable names, you tried to pick out the one that could belong to your neighbor, the boy you had spotted curled up on the couch in Minho’s study. Based on his descriptions, it couldn’t have been Jeongin- the youngest of the group, or Jisung- the affectionately-dubbed “babygirl” in Felix’s words. That left you with Chris, his fellow Australian mate, and the eldest. However, his description didn’t match your neighbor either.

When you set out for the market a few days later to deliver Felix some extra sugar cookies you had baked that morning, you saw him again. He was engaged in a conversation with your friend as they appeared to be working one of the fresh fruits and vegetable stalls together. You weren’t close enough to make out what was being discussed between the two, but your attention was drawn to the brunette’s body language. You observed the two friends for a few minutes, as your neighbor cycled through a series of cutesy expressions, excited little jumps, and exaggerated hand movements directed toward Felix. You were dumbfounded by how he candidly resembled a completely different person to the one you had briefly encountered over a month ago. This guy seemed to have an energetic and charismatic personality- an immensely stark contrast to the insolent and crude introduction you were given. You decided to return home with the cookies still in hand, not quite ready to approach yet.

Later that night, you were still hung up on thoughts about your neighbor. You originally thought he really was just an asshole, but the glimpse of him you saw at Minho’s place, as well as the market, had you reconsidering. You wanted to find out more about him. If he did behave differently to you specifically, why was he so callous? You were sure his outburst was the first time you saw him, so it’s not like you did anything to personally upset him. Frustrated, you navigated towards Felix’s social media in the hopes of finding his profile to learn more about him.

To say the man had a lot of followers would be an understatement. He was clearly very popular, and you began to lose hope of finding your neighbor amongst them. You couldn’t spot him in any of the group selfies on Felix’s page either. An imaginary lightbulb illuminated itself in your head as you realized you could just text Felix, asking him to send you all of his friend’s profiles. It wouldn’t be weird, since you’d be meeting them all soon at your house-warming party anyway. While waiting for him to reply, you opened the jar perched on your nightstand, containing a handful of special gummies, popped one in your mouth, and walked to the nearby convenience store to replenish your snack supply.

On your way back home, your phone lit up with the notification of Felix’s reply as you started to feel the effects of the gummy take hold. Immediately after closing your door and kicking your shoes off, you reclined yourself on the sofa, your bag of snacks within arm’s reach, and opened your chat with Felix. Sure enough, he sent you links to seven profiles with each of their names attached. Chris was first, with his feed mostly consisting of himself on late-night walks around town, pictures of his dog, and gym selfies. You immediately noticed how fit he was, with a killer face to match, and began to wonder if all of Felix’s friends were as absurdly attractive as he was. The next profile, Minho’s, caught you off guard to say the least. There were barely any pictures of him, and the ones that were posted usually distorted his face with the most outlandish filters you could imagine. The rest of his feed was overflowing with pictures of his three adorable cats, as well as several unappetizing close-ups of what appeared to be food. You were definitely intrigued, and were looking forward to getting to know him better. The next link directed you to Changbin’s page. While you did briefly meet him in person already, you were too overwhelmed by the utter chaos unfolding in Minho’s apartment to really take in his physique. He was a total gym rat- his feed plastered with pictures showcasing his enormous muscles to prove it. What really surprised you, though, was the sheer amount of dance covers he posted featuring popular k-pop girl group songs. The man knew how to shake it, and you were pleasantly surprised by the way he didn’t lock himself into his masculine side, despite his appearance. Moving on to Hyunjin, you probably spent around an hour admiring the captivating artwork he posted. As an artist yourself, you were enamored by his abstract and romantic style. Equally as captivating, were his features. He was a fashion model, and clearly had the looks for it. You couldn’t spot a single flaw on his perfectly sculpted face.

When you returned to Felix’s links and opened the next one- Jisung’s, you immediately recognized the doe-eyed brunette in the profile picture as your neighbor. Felix had described him to you as the mood-maker of the group, with his hilarious personality and exaggeratedly cute behavior impossible to resist. You had thought Jisung was one of the least likely to be the person in question, so this discovery was very jarring. Even more so, however, was the duality he displayed with his selfies. The most recent upload featuring a cute pose- big, round eyes, puffy cheeks, and pouty lips. As you scrolled down to the next, you were met with a completely different vibe. His head was tilted back, as if he was looking down at you, with sultry siren eyes, his chain necklace dangling from perfect teeth, and the neckline of a loose-fitting white t-shirt exposing his gorgeously-tanned neck and collarbones. You scrolled back and forth between the two pictures, in absolute awe at the fact that they both displayed the same person.

As you continued scrolling, his occupation as a music producer and songwriter was revealed. He uploaded several aesthetic pictures with his own work serving as background music, and you had to admit- he definitely had talent. Each instrumental perfectly encapsulated the vibe of the picture it was paired with, and he definitely knew what he was doing from a production standpoint. The real shock came when you stumbled upon his singing and rapping videos, though. He really could do it all. He perfectly rode every beat with his flow, topping it off with impeccable enunciation. The most impressive (and admittedly attractive) aspect was his ability to effortlessly switch the tone of his voice, going from an insanely high register to a low, raspy one instantaneously. This skill clearly also carried over to his singing- his higher vocals incredibly stable, and his raspy, low tone shamefully had you feeling some type of way. You decided to blame that on the effects of the gummy.

You lingered on Jisung’s profile for longer than you would have liked to admit, especially the pictures displaying his surprisingly flirty and cocky persona. There was one picture in particular, that had your imagination running wild. His eyes were shrouded in black eyeliner, looking straight into the camera, with his lips slightly parted and his tongue protruding toward the corner of his mouth. His thumb nestled just below his bottom lip- complete with black nail polish. It gave off the vibe of him looking up at you from between your thighs, after mercilessly coaxing multiple orgasms out of you with his seemingly skilled tongue, and lazily wiping the remnants of your release off his chin.

To be honest, you’ve been attempting to ignore the persistent throbbing in your core since you first started exploring his feed, but that last picture completely abolished all resolve you were desperately clinging to. Your right hand had been absentmindedly tracing light circles up and down your thigh for the last ten minutes, slowly drawing increasingly closer to your aching heat. Your own hand became Jisung’s in your imagination when you scrolled to a photo of his, wrapped around the neck of an electric guitar. The caption read “Guitar isn’t the only thing my hands are skilled with, ladies… ;)” The little shit knew exactly what he was doing, which, was oddly attractive to you. Your hand slipped under the waistband of your shorts. With your middle finger nestled between your folds, you gasped at the contact.

Your heightened senses due to the gummy amplified the intensity of every touch, the pleasure increasing tenfold. To say you were soaked would be an understatement. The back of your hand was immediately coated with your arousal, as it sandwiched itself between your needy cunt and completely drenched panties. The lewd sounds caused by your wetness, along with the humiliation that washed over you as you realized you were still on the couch in your living room, only served to turn you on even more. As your middle finger breached your entrance, soon followed by your ring finger, you pictured Jisung’s pretty fingers slowly pumping you instead. Black fingernails becoming a clouded shade as your juices coat them, dripping over his silver rings. You wondered if you would be able to feel them as his fingers pushed in and out, or when they bumped up against your swollen clit as he curled his fingers upwards, relentlessly pounding your sweet spot. When you added his tongue into the picture- sloppily lapping anywhere his hand didn’t obstruct, occasionally dragging along your inner thighs and hungrily licking your arousal that had reached there, you let go. You couldn’t control the spasming of your legs, as well as the obscenely load moan that escaped past your lips, as you lost yourself in the most intense orgasm you have felt in ages. After a few minutes of regaining your composure, you washed up and crawled into bed. You were looking forward to getting to know Jisung better.

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The next week Jisung helped Felix at the market, you finally made your appearance. He had his back turned to the bustling foot traffic, tediously deboning a massive chunk of raw tuna when his ears (and dick) involuntarily perked up at the sound of your sweet voice. “Hey Felix! How’s it going today?” You cheerfully approached, prompting the brunette to wonder how his name would sound as it rolled off your lips. “Hey yourself! Its a little slow today, but should pick up around lunch. This is my friend Jisung I was telling you about!” The blond returned, gesturing towards him. Felix told you about him? He wondered what you had heard, and how it made you feel, but quickly shook his thoughts away before he could get lost in them. This was finally his chance to reintroduce himself, and he was not gonna fuck it up this time. He swiped his hands across the front of his apron as he turned towards you, offering what he hoped was a charming smile.

“I would give you a handshake, but I’m pretty sure you don’t want fish smell on your hands. Sorry we kinda got off on the wrong foot there, it’s great to meet you!” He mustered up his best approach as he shot you an apologetic look, nervously cradling the back of his neck with his right hand.

“Oh, no worries! Felix told me you were really nice, so I figured you were just having a bad day. It’s nice to meet you too!” you replied. It took everything in his power to not grab his friend’s stupidly-lovable face and plant a big, fat kiss on his freckle-covered cheek right then and there. The man was, quite literally, doing all of the hard work for him.

After exchanging your greetings, you moved onto the next stall on your list. Meanwhile, Jisung attempted to burn your approximate waist-to-hip ratio into his memory- for a more realistic point of view of him taking you from behind, of course. His mesmerized focus was abruptly interrupted by his friend landing a friendly smack to his ass, signaling for him to get back to work.

Later that night, he was working on a new song when his phone exploded with notifications from his group chat with his friends. Felix had sent a text notifying everyone about a house-warming party he was hosting for a friend. When his eyes swept across your name, he immediately felt himself tighten in his joggers. He had basically pavloved himself into suffering automatic erections at the slightest thought of you with the recent frequency of his jerking off. To say he was ecstatic would be an understatement as he skimmed through the rest of the messages. He was invited to your place. Of course, his friends would be there too, but actually seeing the inside of your living space, as well as being so physically close to you- would add a whole new level of realism to his sinful fantasies. His usual view of you was from the distance of his own apartment, obstructed by two windows when you weren’t on your balcony. Your appearance at the market today was the closest he’s gotten so far.

Maybe if he played his cards right, he could sneak off into your bathroom, find out what shampoo and body wash you used, and purchase the same. Adding the element of your scent to his late-night sessions could be fun. The more he thought about it, the more depravity overtook him. What if he didn’t stop there? What if he snuck into your bedroom? Found a pair of panties to shove in his pocket and later shove into his face as he climaxes, or found your toys you use to get yourself off when you should be using him.

Still seated in front of his computer, he slightly reclined the chair back as he pulled down his waistband and teased his leaking tip slowly, his mind brewing up his latest creation. He was at your party with his friends. You were distracted by replenishing snacks, Changbin and Seungmin were engaged in a heated debate while the others focused on playing a game on your TV. He took advantage of the distractions and made his move, heading towards your bathroom. He passed the door as he embarked on his real mission- to find your bedroom. After one unsuccessful attempt opening the door to reveal a storage closet, he finally found it.

Once he shut the door behind him, he allowed himself a few seconds to take in his surroundings. When his eyes locked onto the door to your closet slightly ajar, he crossed the room and opened it further. Your laundry basket sat on the floor, powder blue lace thong placed neatly on top. He picked up the garment, intending to relocate it to his pocket, but his hand moved faster than his brain, bringing it up to his face instead. Once he inhaled deeply, taking in your scent, there was no hope for him. He shifted to the edge of your bed, uncrumpling your panties and flattening them out neatly on your mattress. He quickly released his swollen cock, laying it on top of your thong as he used the pad of his thumb to apply light pressure. His hips slowly thrusted, grinding his greedy dick between the dainty lace and his calloused thumb, the contrast of textures driving him crazy. As he increased his pace, he wrapped the lace around his whole circumference and replaced the tip of his thumb with his entire hand, amplifying the pressure. The sight of his tan cock peeking through the blue lace, along with the filthiness of his actions, had him biting his bottom lip for dear life to contain his moans threatening to escape.

He did the same in real life. As his thighs started quivering, he threw his head back against the headrest of his seat. His efforts to bite back his noises failed, however, as he couldn’t contain the loud moan that forced its way through his clenched teeth when his hand grazed over a particularly sensitive spot. Feeling his orgasm approaching, he released his grip completely, twitching at the sudden loss of contact. He wasn’t going to cum yet, not when the highlight of his fantasy had yet to play out. He collected himself for a moment before engrossing himself in his scene again.

He began to panic as his hips started twitching. Soft, needy moans and incoherent mumbling rolling off of his drool-covered lips. He needed to cum, but had nothing to release into. He was so lost in his pleasure that he couldn’t stop as the sound of your door creaking open penetrated through his panting and the wet sounds of his spit and precum-coated cock. He locked eyes with your shocked expression as he blew his hot load all over your panties and bed.

“N-Noona.. I-“ you cut him off with a strong slap to his left cheek. His weak legs not able to support him as his knees buckled collapsed to the floor, the side of his face landing dangerously close to the wet spot he had created on your bed. You stood behind him, forcefully grabbing him by his hair and shoving his face directly into the mess.

“I don’t want to hear another word from you. If you’re going to be a filthy pervert, the least you can do is clean up after yourself.” You spat, further rubbing his face into his own cum. He stuck his tongue out, catching his release on it as your grip on his hair controlled him. When you heard his muffled moans you kneeled down, your face now level with his when you tugged his head upwards. “Are you seriously getting off on this you sick fuck?” You pushed him with his back now flush against the side of your bed. “Oh my god, you’re fucking hard again!” Another slap to his cheek, this time the left. You both looked down as the pain from your slap caused his length to jerk violently, a pathetic bead of precum seeping from the tip and rolling down his shaft. You caught it with your finger, bringing your digit to his mouth and shoving it in. He hungrily sucked it off, a deep moan bellowing from his chest. Withdrawing your hand from his mouth and reaching behind his head, you clutched onto the cum-soaked panties, tilted his head upwards, and shoved them in his mouth.

Jisung groaned as he twitched in his hand, shooting his release all over himself and his keyboard, dripping down between the keys. He had been putting off cleaning the damned thing for weeks, and sighed as he slumped further down in the chair. Thanks to you, he wouldn’t be able to procrastinate any longer.

[suzukiblu]

Ko-fi thank-you sentences for an anon; a fake cryptid and a real romantic.

“I think I’m gonna try making him a ruby and do that in a trilliant cut,” Superboy says decisively, which isn’t necessarily much progress towards “normal” friend-making but again, Clark doesn’t want to discourage either a hobby or a creative outlet for the kid. Or just literally anything that isn’t about being a superhero, even if the trilliant cut resembling the S-shield and making friends with a vigilante are only sort of “not about being a superhero”. 

Look, the kid’s six months old and was educated by ethically bankrupt scientists and absolutely exhausted grad student interns, absolutely none of whom had either normal childhoods or an interest in instilling any semblance of “normal” in their cloned Superman’s head. Clark’s not going to be picky here, he’s just gonna meet him where he’s at and go from there. 

Superboy has some unfortunate difficulties understanding the difference between celebrity attention versus genuine admiration and things like that, and also an unfortunate tendency towards causing a lot of unnecessary property damage and jumping to conclusions and temper issues, but he tries, and he clearly does think about things. There’s just a lot to figure out in the world, and he’s had to do it in speed-run mode and while being an active superhero. 

Really, Clark thinks the kid’s doing a lot better as a superhero than he would’ve done at his “age”, and he’d actually been that “age”. Superboy is frankly just about the best-case scenario that could’ve come out of a situation like Cadmus and also mercifully only seems to be minimally traumatized by the sorry excuse for a “childhood” he was provided, so . . .

“That sounds nice,” Clark says, smiling at him. “I’m sure you’ll do a good job with it.” 

“I’m gonna do a good job with it if it fucking kills me,” Superboy says, looking determined, which seems like a lot of intensity to put into making a gift for a friend, but again: six months old and educated by ethically bankrupt scientists. Clark is going to stick with the “meeting him where he’s at” approach. 

“Just do your best to start, maybe,” he says wryly, reaching over to pat the kid’s shoulder. Superboy grins at him, his expression turning pleased. 

“I will!” he says. “Wanna see some of the test ones?” 

“Sure,” Clark says, figuring Superboy will just–

Nope, no, Superboy just immediately stuck both hands into his jacket pockets and came up with two big fistfuls of a good dozen high-quality diamonds done in trilliant cuts. Very large diamonds. 

Heavens to Betsy, Clark thinks a little faintly. That is . . . that is so many diamonds for Superboy to just have in his pockets. They weren’t even zipped shut! They weren’t even buttoned! 

Superboy lays his series of diamonds all out in neat little rows on the ledge, because there are enough of them to require multiple rows, and then reaches back into his pockets for a few more, because of course there are more. Clark continues to feel vaguely faint and has absolutely no idea how to point out how much money this is. Even at lab diamond rates, this is so much money. Just–so much. 

At this point in his life Clark has seen entire planets made of diamond, mind, but he still grew up in smalltown Kansas as a farm kid, so there’s something about seeing quite this many virtually flawless ones just laid out on a Metropolis rooftop the same way he would’ve shown off his POG collection to his friends as a kid. Even the damn cuts are just shy of perfect. 

Well, at least Superboy’s enjoying his first hobby, he supposes. But also, Jesus H. Christ.

“They look good, kid,” Clark says, smiling at him encouragingly. No need to take the wind out of his sails, obviously. Though seeing them now, it does occur to him to wonder–“Where did you get the tools?” 

They must be good ones, because honestly he really wasn’t expecting results this good–or even half this good–from a six month-old teenager. Superboy could definitely ruin De Beers’s day with those.

Or their industry, again. 

. . . well, it is De Beers, so . . . 

“Oh, I don’t have any,” Superboy says, shaking his head. “I just use my TTK.” 

Clark . . . pauses, for a moment. 

Clark pauses for a long moment. 

“Tactile telekinesis can cut diamond?” he asks carefully. “This precisely?” 

“Yeah!” Superboy beams proudly at him. “Cool, right?” 

Clark looks very, very closely at the diamonds. The cuts on them are practically atom-sharp. 

Alright then, he thinks to himself even more carefully.

[formereldestdaughter]

ok wait i need to hear more of your thoughts on peeta owning a bakery....

This is one of those rare times where I’m pretty sure this anon isn’t someone I know personally bc I’ve subjected anyone who will listen to my rant about the Peeta Bakery Headcanon. Anyway, you’re gonna regret asking this anon bc there are fucking Layers here.

I know this is probably a controversial take based on the number of fics where I’ve seen it, but I simply do not think that Peeta would open a commercial bakery after Mockingjay!! Like on a metatextual level, I don’t think it really fits with the point of the ending of the series. It actually sort of fascinates me that it’s just such a common headcanon because the ending of Mockingjay is exceedingly vague. I think that vagueness invites us, as readers, to imagine a better world post-revolution. A world where Katniss would feel confident that her children would be safe from injustice, where she’d feel confident that her children would never know want the way she did as a child. A just world. A kinder world. Can a capitalist society ever be just? Is a capitalist society where a disabled teenager has no other means to subsist himself (or feels like there’s no other way he can be a contributing member of his community) really the post-revolution world we dream of? Is that really the best we can imagine?

(This got so insanely long I’m adding a read more lmao)

I get that showing a better world is not always the point of post-mockingjay headcanons/fics. Like there are plenty of really great post-mockingjay fics I’ve seen where, yeah, part of the fic is that society like ISN’T all that different or all that much better. I’ve seen that really well done! Hell, I’ve written them myself! It’s easy to imagine how a lot of aspects of society would not get an overhaul, a lot of the same structural inequalities would continue to exist. One headcanon that really stuck with me (I can’t remember which fic it was from) was that Peeta sells basically mail order baked goods to people on the Capitol, sending them iced cakes and pastries by train, because there are still people who were “fans” of theirs during the Games. And idk this doesn’t actually have much to do with my point lol but I liked it because it’s kind of fucked up and like! Yeah! It makes sense! If he needed money that would be a good way to make it! War often makes people rich, often for horrible reasons, and often it’s people who already have capital in the first place.

Anyway, more about the hypothetical bakery because alright. I bring up the fact that “yeah society not being all that different post-revolution and still being an unjust capitalist hellscape” could be a reason why Peeta re-opens a bakery because that’s actually never the types of fics where I see the bakery headcanon. Fics where Peeta opens a bakery are usually trying to make the exact opposite point. Like. Things are getting better, now he can open a bakery! Look at how much better the world is now, plus he’s got a bakery! Peeta is healing, that’s why he can open a bakery now! And I am so, so sorry to inform everyone who’s never had the grave misfortune of owning a family business, but there is truly nothing further from the truth lmao. Like just putting aside the immense amount of emotional baggage that Peeta has about his family, running a small business is an insane amount of work in any context and being a baker especially is physically grueling and involves early hours (and long hours) that aren’t really the best fit with the multiple ways that Peeta is disabled now. (I could go into this more because I have a lot of thoughts. But I will spare you.). I also think it’s seen throughout the books that Peeta is someone who needs time to pursue creative outlets to process his feelings and someone who values leisure and values quality time with his loved ones. And having grown up in his family’s bakery, I think he’d understand the reality that running a bakery wouldn’t leave much space of those pursuits and wouldn’t leave much space for him to have the things that keep him healthy and stable. I think he’d know that the way he is now— after two Games and the war and unspeakable torture at the hands of a dictator—isn’t compatible with the lifestyle necessary for running a commercial bakery.

And tbh with that in mind, I don’t think he’d push himself to re-open a business (one that would be a constant reminder of his dead family and his complicated relationships with them that got no closure) that would require him to sacrifice his physical and emotional well-being. Like I think he might look into the possibility, I think he might even start trying to open a bakery out of a sense of obligation/duty, maybe harboring some idea that this is who he was supposed to be, who he would've been without the Games, or that it’s this last piece of his family that can live on, or that it’s this last connection to his family so he can’t let it die too. But ultimately, I think any attempt to open a bakery wouldn’t get very far. Maybe he'd start wading into the logistical nightmare that is small business ownership and realize it's not for him (because it's probably also true that as much as him and his brothers were involved in the business, there's almost certainly parts they weren't involved with and didn't see, i.e., filing taxes). Or maybe looking into opening a bakery— how triggering it is, the stress of it— causes a downward spiral. Maybe he hates how much he's worrying everyone by unraveling. Maybe having a breakdown from the stress of just trying to open a bakery makes him realize, yeah, maybe in another life he would have ran his family’s bakery but the way he is now just doesn’t work with running a bakery, not without great sacrifices he's not willing to make. I just can’t see a bakery coming to fruition.

I know a lot of fics include Peeta deciding to reopen a bakery as a big step in his healing or include him rebuilding a bakery as part of his healing process but honestly, I think the opposite would be more true: I think Peeta either trying/failing to open a bakery or ultimately deciding not to open a bakery would be hugely healing for him. I think it would be a huge part of him accepting the way he is now as a person, his new limitations but also his strengths. I think it would be a huge part of him accepting the way his life his now and accepting that he likes his life the way it is, that he’s satisfied with his life without needing to own a bakery. I think it would be an important part of him coming to terms with the loss of his family. I think he knows he can never have things back as they were and I don’t think he would try to recreate them, especially because his family’s legacy isn’t a business. I think he’s emotionally intelligent enough and self reflective enough to realize that what mattered to him about the bakery— taking care of others by feeding them, being integrated into his community and being actively involved in it, brightening people’s days with delightful things whether that’s beautiful cakes or hearty food or delicious treats— and the things he learned from his family through the bakery, are things that he can carry on in other meaningful ways.

(Do you regret sending this ask yet, anon? Because if not, you will soon. I’m not done yet. There’s more.)

I wasn’t really sure where to put this next part in what is rapidly becoming an essay because it sort of combines the points about like “what do we imagine a post-mockingjay society to look like” with the practical difficulties of starting this bakery but here’s another thing: do people really think that the Mellarks owned the land the bakery was on?? Like, sure, the merchants are the petit bourgeois of Twelve but I still don’t imagine they really own anything. In a society where houses are assigned to people upon marriage, where property ownership and capital are so closely interconnected with citizenship (as shown by the Plinths who, by having immense capital, are able to leave their District and become citizens of the Capitol) do people really think the Mellarks would be allowed to own the land their bakery is on?? I always imagined it sort of like a tenant farming situation: the Capitol gives them the raw materials for the bakery and in return the bakery give them some absurdly high portion of their profits, or the Capitol sells them a year’s supply of raw materials at a premium on credit and at the end of the year the Mellarks have to use the money they made with those materials to pay it back, except it’s never enough to turn a profit so they always have to buy next year’s materials on credit and the cycle continues.

We (understandably) get a really skewed view of the merchant class through Katniss’s perspective so I can see why people come to the conclusion that his family owned the property and, as the last surviving member, he would’ve inherited it. I’ve seen the inheritance thing in fics a lot or a hand wavey “well Twelve was decimated to no one owns anything anymore so it can be his” or even like an almost sort of reparations type situation where he’s entitled to the land as a surviving refugee of Twelve. But I don’t know. I guess I don’t think it fits with everything else we know about Panem that the Mellarks would’ve owned that land and I think the question of whether the government would’ve let him take ownership of the land post-revolution brings up a lot of issues about the structure of society post-Mockingjay that I find more interesting to explore in other ways, especially when, from an emotional perspective, 1) I find the idea of Peeta not opening a bakery more compelling and 2) I don’t think it really fits his character arc by the end of Mockingjay to reopen a bakery, as I went on about at length above lol.

On the flip side: literally who cares!! Do whatever you want!! Headcanon whatever you want!! I get why people go for the bakery!! It’s fun, it’s wholesome, it’s a built in bakery AU that isn’t even an AU. It doesn’t matter if it’s practical or realistic!! It doesn’t need to be practical or realistic!! It’s fanfic of a dystopian YA series!! My unfortunate affliction is that I grew up in a family that owned a restaurant and that I have multiple degrees in the social sciences so I can’t see the bakery without being like “What about the overheard? What about the start up costs? Who’s spending long nights balancing the books? Is Peeta covering shifts when an employee calls in sick? Is Peeta the sole person working there until the bakery is open long enough (often a year or more) to start turning a profit? How does that sleep schedule work with his nightmares? How does that work with Katniss’s nightmares? What happens when he has an episode and suddenly needs to take the day off before he has any employees? Does the bakery just remain closed for the day? Can the profit margins withstand regular unexpected closures? Can the supplies withstand regular unexpected closures?” And if the answer is “Elliott none of those things matter he’s not doing the bakery because he needs the money but because he wants to”, then my question is why does he want to? Does he not get the same sort of satisfaction out of feeding his loved ones? Doesn’t Peeta seem like someone who would rather give away baked goods than sell them?? Doesn’t Peeta seem like someone who would prefer to make cakes for people’s special occasions upon and then when they insist on paying him for it, he only lets them “pay for the ingredients” which actually cost significantly more than he says they did??

So yeah my point is that it’s a matter of personal taste! It doesn’t fit the way I see the series but that doesn’t mean it’s like wrong, I’m not an authority on Peeta lmao.

It’s also a matter of personal taste in the sense that I find the themes that most resonate with me at the end of Mockingjay (and the end of Peeta’s arc specifically) more interesting to explore in other ways. Grief, living with loss, relearning yourself, finding hope, figuring out your place in a dramatically different world when you don’t even know who you are anymore, healing, building a new life after such complete and total destruction of your old life— those are all things I find compelling about the end of Mockingjay but for me the bakery isn’t the most compelling way to explore them.

Not to say I find the concept of the bakery totally uninteresting. I have this fic about Johanna that I’ll probably never finish where the point sort of is that, yeah, her life really isn’t all that much better after the war. It’s been years at this point and she’s still miserable and she doesn’t know how to be a person but by the end she’s trying to figure it out. And towards the end, Peeta tells her that he’s spent years sort of passively, half-heartedly trying to figure out how to inherit the land his family’s bakery was on, only to find out it was never theirs in the first place. They’d been renting it the whole time and he’d never even known as a kid. So he sort of passively, half-heartedly went on another wild goose chase to find the owner and now, finally, after years of writing to various government agencies and being sent in circles and things being barely functional, he’s managed to track down the owner. Now it’s owned by the daughter of the man who owned it when he was a kid because the original owner (who was likely up to some sketchy war crime shit) died during the war and she inherited it (the irony…). He got in contact with her and asked how much it would take for her to sell it and she told him she’s not interested in selling but in light of the situation, in light of the fact that he’d have to build a new building in order to operate a bakery, that she’d cut him a deal— she’d only require 50% of the bakery’s profits as rent instead of the 80% his family used to pay. And of course Johanna is outraged, that’s not right, the owner shouldn’t be allowed to do that, they should do something about it, they should fight back. And Peeta is like. Not interested. He was actually sort of relieved that opening wasn’t very feasible. Getting the answer was a lightbulb moment where he saw that over the years of trying to look into this, he’s built a life that he likes— one where he’s stable, where his loved ones are stable, where he’s cared for and can care for others— and he doesn’t really want to change it drastically by opening a bakery anyway. He just needed an answer, one way or another, before he could get some closure and move on. (And the point of the conversation is Johanna is having her own lightbulb moment that it’s okay to move on, it’s okay to change, it’s not a betrayal of the people and things she’s lost but that’s not my point here!!).

But anyway. That’s obviously not about running the bakery— it’s about the choice to not run one.

Anyway!! Anyway… are you satisfied anon? Is this what you wanted?

Lastly, here is my most important qualm with the bakery headcanon: must Peeta be gainfully employed? Is it not enough for him to be Katniss’s boytoy? Can’t he just paint and garden and bake and hang out with his girlfriend all day? Is that really too much to ask?

[eeveearoace-creative]

a speech about goncharov i made for my public speaking class!

note: this is not exactly what will be spoken for my class, as i am not reading my speech word-for-word. however, this is an outline of the speech i will be presenting, and i thought y'all might be interested in seeing it.

Introduction:

The purpose of my speech is to inform my audience of the fake movie “Goncharov” and how it has impacted me. My goal is to inform my audience of how the fake movie “Goncharov” came to be and of the value it has. 

By a quick show of hands, how many of you have seen or heard of Goncharov before? [Quick pause as I wait for no hands – or almost no hands – to go up.] Alright. So, Goncharov was a 1973 mafia movie supported by Martin Scorsese, and has been widely regarded as the greatest mafia movie of all time. It’s about the Russian mafia in Naples, Italy, and follows a variety of characters such as Goncharov himself, Katya, who is Goncharov’s wife, Audrei “The Banker” Daddano, and my personal favorite, Joseph “Ice Pick Joe” Morelli, with actors such as Robert De Niro, Cybill Shepherd, Harvey Keitel, and Lynda Carter. So, why have you never heard of this movie before? Well, everything I just told you? It’s all a lie. It’s all made up. Goncharov? Yeah. It never actually existed. 

I remember being part of the Goncharov fandom as it first blew up on Tumblr in late 2022. It was a great source of joy for me and made a significant impact on Tumblr’s culture. I am going to show my audience how Goncharov came to be, the creativity is spawned, and briefly reflect on how the website it originated on was vital for its growth. 

So, what is Goncharov, and what is going on here?

Origins:

Goncharov was a fake movie created by Tumblr in late 2022. 

Sometime prior to August 22nd, 2020, Tumblr user ZootyCoon posted a photograph of knockoff boots they had bought that advertised a non-existent movie, Goncharov, on them, claiming that Goncharov was “the greatest mafia movie of all time.” In response, on August 22nd, 2020, another Tumblr user, AbandonedAmbition, commented “This idiot hasn’t seen Goncharov”, which was then added to the post itself by Tumblr user LoserMo. 

While ZootyCoon’s original post did receive some attention, it wasn’t until November 18th, 2022 that Goncharov truly hit it off as a cultural phenomenon, thanks to Tumblr user Beelzeebub, who posted a fan-made poster for Goncharov, receiving almost 20,000 likes and over 15,000 reblogs in three days. 

Fandom:

As it turns out, you don't actually need a piece of media to be real in order for a fandom to form around it.

Countless fanworks were created for Goncharov, including fanart, fanfiction, music, scene analysis and analysis of motifs, gif sets, memes, and so much more. As mentioned in a YouTube video by YouTuber ColeyDoesThings, there was even a time where Goncharov had more fanfiction on a popular fanfiction website than James Cameran’s Avatar, the highest grossing movie of all time. 

So much lore was being created for Goncharov in such a short amount of time that efforts had to be made to record it all. Multiple individuals attempted to create a “master copy” of Goncharov’s lore, including what is now a 48-page Google doc that includes a plot summary, brief descriptions of various scenes, and links and sources to various contributors. 

But Goncharov could not be contained just to Tumblr. Various media outlets, such as The New York Times, The Guardian, Forbes, and The Washington Post all posted articles about Goncharov, an internet phenomenon. 

Tumblr:

But, why? Why this fake movie, and why on Tumblr of all places? 

As a social media site, Tumblr has an incredibly weird culture. There are no public follower counts, no verification for users, and a whole array of weird social rules. But one thing that really makes Tumblr special is the interaction between large and small blogs alike. Because anyone can and is encouraged to create their own content and add to others’ content, something like Goncharov could very quickly become a “yes, and” game among Tumblr’s users. 

Tumblr is also very much a “fandom” site. Fanart, fanfiction, and other fanworks dominate the website, and Goncharov in its heyday was no exception. Interactions between fans and fan creators is what really causes fandoms to grow and survive, so it makes sense that Goncharov thrived the way it did considering how easy it was to find fellow fans. With no pressure to reveal your “true” self, there’s a lot less pressure when you share what you’ve created. 

Conclusion:

So, what can we learn here?

The fake movie “Goncharov” was unintentionally created by a tag on a pair of off-brand boots but didn’t truly become popular until Beelzebub’s poster. Fandom quickly grew around it, creating countless fanworks, but Tumblr’s unique culture as a social media site is what truly allowed it to thrive. 

There is joy and creativity in unusual places. Whether or not you believe Goncharov to be a waste of time, the popularity of a fake movie says something about the human fascination with stories. Thank you. 

[milkweedman]

TDF DAYS 7 8 9 (July 5 6 7)

I keep forgetting to post lol.

I have also generally forgotten the order in which I did things...

I combed and spun some hampshire. It seems I still have the damaged hampshire in my wool bag. Thought I'd taken it out... thing is, it's totally usable...just that the staple length has broken and so instead of 7 inches it was more like 2. That tells me it will continue to degrade as a knit fabric. So it's probably only suitable for stuffing or things that I want to fall apart. I also combed some that wasn't damaged--thats the pinkish yarn here. (I damaged the first batch of this wool when I was washing it by cooking it for 2 days trying to get the stains out. I have since embraced them and just washed the wool normally).

Carded some of the shetland x clun forest as well. Wanted to see how it held up carded--much easier than the first time. Not sure what I did different except that it's dyed vs undyed wool, and that can mean textural differences. Idk. I'm knitting it into a square to see how it looks.

Today I spun this. I made these whorl beads (some kind of bake clay I found in a bag of beads I got at goodwill. They are coming in very handy ! I dont usually use beads but they help a lot.

This is what it spun up into. 4 grams for 17 yards/meters lol. It's so dense !! It actually would make a good warm shawl carded, and a beautiful fine shawl if combed I think.

Anyway, that's everything for the past couple days, other than I scrumped some plums that I can't eat and made a small rhubarb cake that I also can't eat. Truth be told I really got into the groove in my minecraft world recently and my spinning is suffering for it lol. It's fine though, I always need multiple creative outlets, and I switch between them.

[astrosouldivinity]

Astrological placements in a natal chart that may indicate OCD or Anxiety

+ Autism/ADHD

Part 2:

⚠️ Disclaimer: I am not saying these placements have AuDHD/Anxiety/OCD. But they may be more prone to certain behaviors relating to the disorders. You can use astrology to observe your subconscious patterns. Essentially, you can use it for shadow work. But these may not apply to everyone so take what resonates and leave what does not

I was requested to do Schizophrenia so I will be doing that after this part and then I will be done with this series ❤️

Cancer Sun/Moon/Venus/Rising/Mars: OCD regarding their emotional environment. They need to feel safe, in control, & secure in their feelings. If they are not able to do that it can be stressful/anxious for them to navigate & just find emotional balance overall. They give off neurodivergent vibes too because of their heightened sensitivity. They are sensitive individuals who can easily pick up on the emotions & energy of their environment + others.

3H Stellium- Gives off ADHD vibes. They may also be prone to anxiety because of their active mind. They are mutable air so they can be multiple different people at once while feeling multiple different emotions, & perceiving multiple different perspectives & realities. Their mind is rarely still for long.

Aries Moon/Mars/Mercury: They can be impulsive & brash. I think they unintentionally anger a lot of people because of their brutal honesty. But they are authentically themselves & refuse to settle for anything less than that. Honesty or just being a truth seeker in general is commonly associated with Autism, & impulsivity is a symptom of ADHD.

Scorpio Sun/Moon/Mars/Rising/Mercury/Chiron: They are sensitive individuals but don’t show it at all. They might mask their emotions out of fear of being vulnerable. Similarly to Cancer/Pisces they will pick up on the emotions of others & they may need time to themselves to recharge their energy. I think their energy is pretty intense, it has a mirroring effect which unintentionally triggers a lot of people. Mirroring is a symptom of Autism/ADHD.

Pisces Anything: They are mutable water so they are quite adaptable. They can easily morph into the emotional energy of their environment. They are creative & intuitive which naturally makes them sensitive individuals. Autism can show symptoms of having heightened sensitivities. So like sensory issues & needing to stim which stimming for a Pisces could be their creative outlet.

Honorable Mention: Aquarius + Capricorn, 12H Stellium or 12H Moon/Mercury/Mars

~Part 1~

[clus444]

John P. (90-day fiance)

Based on the show. I thought it was a fun idea. enjoy!! This will be slightly inaccurate since there is a lot of visa stuff that I don't know. Will it turn into a series, who knows?

*Thump thump thump thump*

Don't be irrational, don't be irrational..... Shit.

I feel my heart beating in my ass. My palms are sweaty, my chest feels tight, and I just hope I don't pass out. What if he changes his mind? What if he doesn't like what he sees anymore? What if, what if, what if. So many whats and no answers. Y/n get your shit together. I'm going to get off this plane and meet my fiance. If he didn't like me, he wouldn't have asked to marry me!

*Ding!* It's showtime.

I met John on a work trip to London. I was bored in a bar and John's eyes found me multiple times that night. His gaze lit me up like the Fourth of July. He sent me over a drink and of course, who was I to turn that down. I lifted the drink in thanks and shot him my most charming smile. He grins and walks over to me.

The rest is history. Within 21 days he proposed to me on a walk through Kensington Gardens (A real place, but I'm adding to it). We were walking where swans idly swim by, lights decorated the sidewalk to light up the path, and there was a flower stand not that far away from us. "Stay here," He kisses my lips before walking forward.

I look at the water to watch the baby swans lazily follow their mother. My heart warms when I see a black swan circle the mother. They bend their necks down slightly and lean beaks on each other as they gracefully swim. The shape of their necks creates a heart and I feel as if the universe is trying to tell me something. Swans mate once in their life, when they meet their other half it's truly their other half. I look back at John to see him make his way to me.

Is he my half? From the moment I saw him, I felt an energy change though subtle it was there. When I looked into his eyes I saw pass the protector, the hardened war hero, and the lonely man who sits by himself. I saw someone who restricted himself from leaning on someone. I saw someone who didn't need to be fixed but supported. John's gone his whole life being the shoulder to cry on, the helping hand, the man with the plan. Is wrong to want to be the one he leans on?

A grin is on his face and must be infectious because I can't contain the smile that grows on mine. I'd marry him if I could, god I would give him an army if he asked. But I'm here for work and well John? Im not quite sure. "My mother and father used to bring us here sometimes because it's where he proposed. This garden has a prominent price family history here. I can't help but think I would be making a mistake if I didn't do the same," he drops to one knee and I look at him shocked.

"Umm- John?" I ask and look around before he grabs my hand.

"When I saw you at the bar, you not only took my breathe away but the very darkness that clouds my mind. Darling, my heart starves for you and I don't want to be full. My favorite feature about you is your hands...you can create something out of nothing. Your hands have this power over me. They hold our future, they give your brain a creative outlet, and most importantly they hold our love. I just want to be the support beam," He finishes off and slides a plain silver band off the flower stems. "I'll get you a better ring tomorrow, this is all he had and I did;t want to wait any longer. Will you marry me," He asks.

I step off the plane and twirl and ring around my finger. I truly can't believe this is happening. Most of me feel excited for this new chapter of my life. I feel lucky to have John by my side, appreciative. Though if you asked him he's the lucky one. I just hope he doesn't get cold feet or worse.

I walk until I find where to grab my bag. I haul it out and begin walking to the cafe inside the airport. I order a small tea with lemon and honey. My phone buzzes.

Pornstache- Ass is getting fatter, Definitely my doing.

I laugh and turn around to try to spot John. I see a tan bucket hat first and my man second. I put my stuff down and speedwalk to him. I aggressively grab his shirt and pull him to me. He quickly responds and cuffs the back of my head to kiss me deeper. I moan and he pulls back,"My wife is here, finally."

I giggle like a catholic school girl, who has just shown her ankle to the newspaper boy. I twirl a strand of hair between my fingers. "It appears so, though the wedding is in 90 days," I grab his hand to pick up my tea from where I left it on the table. He grabs my bag and we start on our way to the exit.

"I almost forgot to tell you. We got a full house when we get home," I hear him say that and look at him. I almost forgot about meeting his family. The only thing I can do now is nod and smile.

(I wanted to end it there but I love smut yall! I have a problem!)

On the ride to his house, I feel John slide his hand over my thigh. I squeeze before opening them slightly. He smirks and rubs circles with his thumb on my right left thigh. We glance at each other and I give him a cheeky smile. His hands slip into my pants and panties. His forefinger traces my folds lightly parting them to get to my pearl.

He draws fast circles on my clit and I push my hips forward. I moan and lay my head on the headrest. My clit surges vibrations all throughout my body. I can feel a second heartbeat where his fingers beatbox on my clit. The nerves that were tightly winding up my chest slowly dissipated. My breathing shortend for other reasons now and not panic. "I wanna test her so bad. Can tell she's been missing me, poor thing," he talks to my pussy.

She responds in clenches as I feel his thick, rough fingers enter my slippery folds. "mmmmm," I hum out and start rocking against his hand to cum faster. "Please, I wanna come," I beg for him to not tease. To give me this release and let my mind fill with thoughts of nothing. He grins and adds a finger then starts angling up. I arch my back and my heart pounds in rhythm to my pussy.

This is going to be a long ride.

Masterlist

John - Soap - Gaz - Simon

[arcandoria]

In light of the last bit of Nexus User Entitlement and me still being miffed about it, let's try to make something positive out of it and shed some clarity why certain private mods cannot simply be made public (aside from, obviously, one not wanting them to be public in the first place):

Not always you can just yeet a .archive into the big world wide web. Some mods require frameworks, some mods require specific structures, some mods need to function in specific ways in order for them to be available universally. These same mods can work perfectly fine in the modder's game because it's held by duct tape and glue as the modder knows they won't put anything in their game that will break it, or they've made it using a framework that is not ideal for public release, but works just fine for their own needs, etc. 90% of my OCs are NPVs. Their mods are not made in a way I can load on PlayerV. I'd have to convert them into something else or put them in a framework. Some of my NPV clothes are badly chopped at the edge because it's going inside a specific pants or boots and I don't need to worry about that edge showing. It's just not fit for release because I didn't make it thinking about release. This is true for many, many modmakers.

A modmaker with an ounce of responsibility will want to publish a mod with a degree of proper documentation, showcase what it does / what it looks like, and offer said mod support and troubleshooting after it's released. This is a lot of work, even if you do it lazily.

There are dozens of body mods available for Cyberpunk currently. The ideal way of working for a mod that you intend to publicly release is to fit it for the vanilla/default bodies first, and adapt to the others later. Doing the inverse process is definitely doable but extremely counterproductive. So just because someone has a mod currently working on their OC, it does not mean it'll even fit another if their body types don't match. This is also true for hairs or jewelry or other accessories.

There are many ways of making certain things, and more often than not, these conflict with each other. Some body mods cannot be used alongside certain frameworks, which means a modmaker would have to either learn a new system and convert to it, or make their mod compatible to multiple options. This has to be a conscious choice from the start, or the modder has to actively decide to do all of this conversion after something is already done (which isn't necessarily hard, but still, extra work).

Feeling frustrated or upset that you cannot have a certain mod is fair. It's a human response and it's understandable. But popping a private mod into the world isn't as deal and done it might seem from a technical level - and even if it is easy, people who pour their time into a creative outlet are allowed to keep things for themselves!

I am thoroughly against refusing to help people to achieve the same/similar result of something you worked on. We are a community and helping each other is paramount to keep modding going and improving. Don't ever uphold knowledge from others, but do not feel pressured into sharing the results of your labor either.

My Cyberpunk Modding Tutorials Cyberpunk Modding Wiki Cyberpunk Modding Discord

[castielslostwings]

Please help me tell people about my book!

Hi! I'm publishing a book! It's HERE, just in time for Christmas!! It's GAY!! It's romantic!!! It's HOT! It has firefighters and background sapphic romance, and is exciting AF!!!

I'm very excited, too!

Both U.S. domestic and international friends can order shipped Paperbacks from me directly via my Ko-Fi shop (retailers take less of a cut): https://ko-fi.com/castielslostwings/shop Or you can order on amazon directly, this is the only way to get the KINDLE ebook option: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1945687126

Standard EPUB format is available to download directly from me for $1 cheaper than Amazon: https://ko-fi.com/s/2a82c64d56

And WILL be available at other retailers soon!

Here's the thing: I had a pretty solid platform on Twitter, but since Elon took over, a lot of my followers left, the algorithm crashed, and the whole thing might go under. I don't have the same reach on other platforms, so I need some help! Please share this post if you like GAY SHIT and BOOKS and helping indie content creators be successful!!! Please follow me or check out my ko-fi for updates! Thanks!!! Here's my pitch, hope you like it:

"Fire & Ice": The flaming hot queer romance novel where a foray into BDSM helps two best friends find themselves, each other, and what it really means to burn. Summary: "Firefighter Tripp Truett has somehow tumbled into a whole new kind of relationship with his quirky paramedic best friend, Lee, but mutual relief from their high-stress jobs quickly develops into something more. With all the missed signals and crossed wires, can these two ever figure out that they're so much closer to being on the same page than they think?"

**************************************** About the author (info dump ahoy!!!!) :

I'm Robin, sometimes known as Wings! I'm a 36-year-old, queer, autistic, disabled mom of 2 humans and 5 senior rescue dogs, former R.N. & paramedic. I'm a hardcore fangirl and a proud fanfic writer (and reader), and while I know some people will judge me for that, I am not ashamed! I started writing as a hobby after becoming physically disabled and unable to work as an RN. Fanfic gave me an audience and an outlet, gifted me purpose and hope again. Transformative fiction is FUN! It fosters creativity and passion, heals wounds, and makes people happy. If someone wants to discredit me for that, then perhaps they aren't the audience I'm seeking.

Ultimately, I know I'm taking a risk, but since people seem to enjoy my fics, this book is my attempt to try and make ends meet through original fiction! I know some people WILL discredit me. But I'm always about being myself and speaking on what I feel matters: Fanfic should be legitimized as a creative medium. I assure you, friends—the thousands of hours I've spent on my fanworks are as REAL as it gets. The intersection of disparaging fanfic + sexism/misogyny can't be overstated—women (esp queer women)'s unpaid work is often treated as a "hobby," not worthy of uplifting. I'm here to uplift! The risk is worth it—I would have nothing without fanfic & I'm proud. Younger creators shouldn't feel shame about writing/reading fanfic. We should ALL approach it as a legitimate medium. In fact, MOST new media these days is transformative "fanwork" of SOME kind, whether it's inspired by, based on, or outright rebooting existing worlds.

Plus, we queer folk simply deserve to see our stories in the mainstream media and to see the characters we fall in love, identify with, and root for to get their happily ever afters.

TL;DR: I'm keeping my name and history. Hopefully, I'll be successful in original fiction, but if not, I'll still be a fangirl. Please consider supporting me + other creators attempting to dip into original works. Follow or subscribe to my ko-fi for previews, updates, access to my discord community where I share exclusive content, and more: https://ko-fi.com/castielslostwings FIRE & ICE IS NOW AVAILABLE THROUGH MULTIPLE PLATFORMS! Ko-Fi subscribers will have the option to buy signed copies & merch bundles! The link to purchase will also be posted there first.

A MAJOR thank you to my friends, editors, and to everyone who in my server for supporting and encouraging me to put myself out there and try something new. Love you guys so much. <3 Thank you to @chaoticdean for the beautiful cover. Many more thank yous to come. P.S. If you are reading this and know anyone with a platform who might be interested in receiving a free copy in exchange for promo (only if they enjoy, ofc), please holler at me, I can use all the help I can get!

<3 Wings

[hogwarts-legacy-confessions]

Hello! One of the more prominent fandom writers here.

I see this has already been addressed. I don’t come to flog a dead horse and I do not intend to be rude to you, the blog owner.

I want to offer some perspective from someone who has been impacted by this.

I am not offended that you’re unaware of every targeted statement submitted to this blog. I am not either. The issue lies in your apparent expectation to be told if a statement was too pointed. You have—as respectfully as I can say it—not cultivated an environment that appears welcoming for something as vulnerable as feelings.

When things have been posted about my work, I did not anticipate coming to you would make much difference. If anything, I assumed it would make it worse.

I would say the impact it’s had on me is inline with the recent posts, and the fact that there are other posts of this nature makes me wonder how many other larger creators are suffering in silence every time someone pokes at them on here.

Here’s the thing: those of us who’ve “just been around since the start” and “got lucky” have been through multiple waves of bullying. For ships, for our ages, for character ages, for characterization, for writing smut/tropes/dynamics, for not liking or portraying (insert character) as a (edgelord, golden retriever, himbo, et cetera).

Now, we can add to that:

- not replying to every comment on our works and art.

- Not performing enough exhaustive research for something we do in our spare time, free of charge—despite both the canon game and the books/films contradicting themselves constantly.

- Liking characters that we like.

- Not editing enough, as if that is not delegated to a separate career in the professional world.

- Generally, not doing /enough/ to have earned our place in the fandom.

I won’t include the criticisms that were specific to me. I’m aware this is anonymous and you have no reason to believe I am who I say, but I won’t risk stepping off anon and receiving hate atop the rest of that list.

I am just a person. This was an escape for me, and one that gave me a lot of purpose and fulfillment. All of which is gone now. This has completely wrecked my self confidence in writing.

These big, popular creators that are getting bashed are not celebrities. Be it roleplayers, artists, writers, mod creators, or edit makers—they’re just people who wanted community and creative outlet.

To the blog owner, I see you have said that you wonder if the posts were really about [those who assume it’s about them]. I think the nature of the space you’ve created begets paranoia. Even if the posts were not about me or anyone else, does it not warrant your concern if it hurts the fandom we share? I respect the need for a space where unpopular ships, headcanons, and the like can be posted without fear (which shouldn’t exist, this is the nature of fandom). I do not see the need to laugh namelessly at the accuracy of fanart, the kissing mod that people created, proper grammar, and incorrect geographical locations in fics to name a few recent ones.

I don’t believe in censorship. I also don’t believe in encouraging persecution.

I see you have addressed this, as I said. I do not expect you to delete your blog. I hope you have found community regardless of the vitriol here. If I can offer a suggestion going forward: I ask that you don’t allow hate on fanworks. If you can’t do that, then at least do not allow anonymous hate on other creators, even if they do not mention them by name. If people want to say it with their full chests, off anon, I would respect it much more. That would also remove your need to judge the validity of any claims.

If this is published—I want to say that if this is your first fandom (which I suspect is true for many of you) that this is not a game of ‘eat the rich’.

If you had been “early” and “got lucky” and if people said the things you have said about our works, would yours still be available?

Most every popular creator in this fandom only ever wanted to be friends with you, reader.

👀

[ocrpfinder]

hi!! 19 y/o nb hoping to gain a long term fandomless oc x oc rp partner!! 18+ please! i am cst and i am a busy bee but not too busy! primarily on discord!!

I write a handful and can reply multiple times a day, i love making servers and yapping ooc! Really want someone as invested as i am about a shared creative outlet!

I primarily do mxm or queer pairings and would rily dig if you are willing to make an oc/ world build with me!! But, if not i genuinely have so many ocs to pick from. No fc needed but if so, i would perfer a drawing, picrew or soemthing alike, nothing irl please!!

I am desperate for someone who's characters/ creations have some depth and range! (not into overly submissive characters an vice versa!) I do not mind any genre however i am getting into crossing over fantasy and scifi atm, and cowboyyss! I love it so much!!

Plot wise i love complicated ships and tropes but nothing too dark but we can talk about that in pm! I have multiple plots loaded up already as well but im up to hear any others!

All I ask if that you communicate and let me know if you are not interested after chatting with me :(

Again 18+ please!!

Can dm here/ add my discord!!

(Bubblydrago)

.

[lolanoelle]

One Drunken Night - Part Two

Thank you all so much for all the love on the first part! :) For this part I am going to be switching between Eddie and Y/N’s POVs so I hope it flows alright! Feedback on this would be greatly appreciated! This is going to be a multiple part series. I am not sure how many parts quite yet, but I am really enjoying have a creative outlet!

You sat across from Eddie at your kitchen table staring down at the cup of tea in your hands. He was sitting in silence staring at you and you couldn’t dare bring your eyes to meet his.

“I know I should have told you sooner Eds, I just didn’t want to ruin the plans you had for your life. Things were already awkward enough between us since that night and I felt I would just make it worse if I forced you to be a parent on top of that.,” You said as you stirred the spoon in your glass. He continued to look at you in complete silence. You could feel his gaze on you whether you were looking back at him or not. You know he probably hated you now and you couldn’t stand the thought. It felt like hours had gone by when you finally heard him clear his throat.

“You know, I had a hunch you left because of me, but I never in a million years thought that it would be because you thought I wouldn’t have wanted to be a part of my kids life,” He said obviously hurt. You finally looked back up at him and he was staring down at his hands now fiddling with his rings.

“I’m so sorry Eddie. I truly am. We had been friends for so long and I was afraid you would resent me for not being able to fill out your dreams of touring with the band and making a name for yourself,” You responded, tears starting to well in your eyes. This conversation was making you resent yourself. You never realized how much of a bitch you came across as with this decision until now.

“Yeah big dreams I filled out. I work at a fucking mechanic shop and still only play gigs at the Hideout every other weekend. What a name I’ve made for myself,” He bit back. He put his head in his hands and started rubbing at his temples.

“I want to make things right. You can have whatever part of this situation that you want. You can get to know her and be a part of her life or you can hate me and forget that we exist. I will leave you alone if you would prefer,” you said as tears now rolled down your face. He jumped up from his seat and walked towards the door. As he went he mumbled under his breath ,” I wish I could hate you.”

Eddie.

Eddie walked into his trailer and slammed the door behind him, accidentally waking Wayne.

“Are you okay, son?”, he asked as he sat up on the couch.

“Guess who’s back in town?,” Eddie said sarcastically.

“Yeah, her grandma told me she was coming back soon.”, Wayne said as he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes.

“And you’ll never guess who she has with her,” Eddie looked at his uncle.

“She brought Ellie?,” Wayne said quietly.

“You’re telling me you knew about this this whole time and you decided not to tell me?,” Eddie said with rage.

“It wasn’t my place to tell you. The only reason I know is because of her grandmother. She told me the last time I went to visit in the nursing home. She had just found out Y/N was coming back to town and wanted to let me know so I could give you the support you needed. I’ve only known for a couple of weeks.,” Wayne said holding his hands up defensively. Eddie reached into his pocket and grabbed a cigarette and lit it. He paced back and forth as he took a couple of drags.

“What am I going to do Wayne. She obviously didn’t think I would be a good father. Why else would she just take off and not even give me the option of raising my kid.,” He said with anger. ,” She probably thought I would turn into that dead beat son of a bitch who left me!”

“I don’t think she thought any of that Eddie. Have you asked her why?,” Wayne responded, trying to comfort his nephew.

“Some bullshit about not wanting to ruin my opportunities with the band. We all knew in the back of our heads that the band would never amount to anything, it’s just a hobby at this point. I can’t believe this shit.” He spat out with anger.

“Y/N believed in you more than anyone I have ever met Eddie. She basically idolized you. She thought you could do anything you put your mind to. It didn’t take a genius to see how much she cared for you.” Wayne spit back.

“Why are you defending her?!,” Eddie raised his voice ,”Not only did she take away my kid, she essentially took away your grandchild!”

Wayne stepped closer to Eddie and grabbed him arm. “Son, I saw how tore up you got when she left. I know you had some deeper feelings for her. I am not saying that what she did was right, but did you ever think that you should have expressed those feelings after that night?”

“I didn’t even know the full extent of my feelings Wayne. And how do you know what night that was?”, Eddie asked.

“Well, she walked out of here disheveled with a string of hickeys on her neck and then you guys stopped hanging out one on one so I just kinda had a hunch.”, Wayne said with a chuckle. Eddie felt his cheeks slightly warming at the thought. Eddie plopped down on the couch and put his hand over his eyes.

“I don’t know what to do,” He said.

“Well you really need to think about it. Raising a kid is a lot of responsibility. Not that I don’t think you’re capable, but it takes a lot of work and effort. I think the first step you would have to take is forgiving Y/N. You were both young and weren’t capable of making the smartest decisions. But don’t rush it. Take as long as you need to forgive her. You don’t want to be a part of Ellie’s life just to fight with her mom in front of her. You need to have mutual respect first.” Wayne told his nephew.

“Thanks, Wayne. I’ll put some thought into that but for now I have to go to band practice.”, Eddie said as he stood up and gave his uncle a thoughtful look. He grabbed his guitar and went out to his van. The whole drive to Jeff’s house was filled with thoughts of Y/N and the little girl he saw standing behind that screen door. She resembled him a good bit. He pulled into Jeff’s driveway and was greeting by his band members.

“Hey man! Do you want a beer or anything before we get started?,” Gareth asked Eddie as he walked in, guitar in hand.

“No thanks ,” Eddie replied, setting up his equipment.

“Alright then well lets get this ball rolling.” Jeff said. Eddie was on autopilot through the whole practice, distracted by the thought of little hands gripping his.

“Dude are you alright? You seem off today.,” Jeff asked, walking to stand in front of Eddie.

“I have a kid,” Was all that Eddie could say in response as he stared blankly in front of him.

“What?!”, Jeff responded.

“Did you knock up one of those groupies from the hideout?”, Gareth chuckled.

“As a matter of fact, no I did not. ,” Eddie stated back with a touch of anger underneath.

“Then who’s the unlucky woman carrying your sperm,” Gareth responded.

“Well that sperm is a full blown toddler now for your information and its Y/N. We got drunk and had sex right before she left and we were both so wasted that apparently we didn’t use any protection,” He said back. Jeff stared at him with wide eyes. He always thought there was something more going on between Eddie and Y/N , but he never imagined this. There was silence for a few moments before Gareth broke it.

“Wow, the sex was so bad that she had to leave the state. Major burn dude.”

“This isn’t a joke Gareth. This is serious. I helped create another human being who is now living in the trailer across from me. I don’t know what to do,” Eddie replied.

“Hey man, we’re always here for you and we’ll support you in whatever you decide,” Jeff stated with compassion.

“Yeah we can even make the sperm a Corroded Coffin shirt.,” Gareth said.

“Dude, stop referring to my kid as sperm.,” Eddie said while rolling his eyes.

“Sorry man, that’s just some serious shit and I was trying to make light of the situation”, Gareth said.

“ It’s okay man, we just gotta teach you to act your age, not your IQ,” Eddie said back jokingly.

“Now that was a major burn,” Jeff said laughing. ,”So what are you gonna do man?”

“Well for starters, I have to go talk to Y/N again. I didn’t quite leave things exactly friendly earlier when I talked to her. It is getting late so I’ll probably have to wait until tomorrow.” He said as he starting loading his guitar into his van.

“Well if you need anything man, just let us know.” Jeff said.

“Thanks guys, I’ll catch you later,” Eddie said as he climbed into his van and started the drive home. He looked over at your trailer as he pulled into his parking space and saw that all the lights were off. He went inside to an empty house and ate some cereal before heading to his bedroom. Wayne was at work so he wasn’t here to distract Eddie from his own thoughts. He sat on his bed with thoughts running through his mind as he smoked a joint trying to relax himself enough to go to sleep. He got under the blankets and let his head hit he pillow. He finally started drifting off to sleep thinking about the fact that this all started in this very bed. He couldn’t believe he had a little girl.

Y/N.

The next morning, you walked through the grocery store filling your cart with all the essentials you needed to keep you and Ellie happy. You were going down the cereal aisle when Ellie looked up at you.

“I want fruit snacks please mommy,” she said to you sweetly

“Okay, baby, we can get you some fruit snacks.” You smiled down at her. She completely melted your heart and there was no way you could deny her when she asked so nicely. She really made you think about the whole Nature vs Nurture debate, because she had never met Eddie, but reminded you so much of him. There was not a day that went by that you didn’t think about him when you gave birth to his carbon copy. You finished filling your cart with groceries and household items and made your way to the checkout. You were loading the conveyer belt up with your groceries when you recognized the employee scanning them.

“Y/N?”, Robin Buckley asked.

“Hey Robin, how have you been?”, You ask her, going to the other end of the checkout to start loading your bagged groceries into your cart.

“I’ve been pretty good. I just started working here a month ago with Harrington. Who’s this little stinker?,” She asked looking down at Ellie.

“This is my daughter Ellie. Say hi to Robin, Ellie,” You said to her.

“Hi Wobin,” Ellie said shyly. She couldn’t always pronounce her r’s.

“ That is the cutest thing that has ever been said to me,” Robin replied. ,” When did you get back up here? I heard you were living it up in Tennessee.”

“Yesterday afternoon actually. I’m currently looking for a job,” You replied as you handed her the cash for your total.

“Hey my aunt is totally hiring at her daycare. The pay is decent and seeing as you have this little cutie now, I figured that might be right up your alley. I can give you her number if you want.” Robin stated.

“That would be amazing actually.,” You said. She scribbled the number down on your receipt.

“What are you trying to be a step-mom now Buckley? Stop hitting on single moms,” You heard a voice behind you ask. You turned around to be met with Steve Harrington.

“Hi Harrington,” You said.

“Holy shit Y/N I didn’t realize that was you. Did you know your kid looks exactly like Munson?”, he responded.

“Oh my god you had a kid with Eddie!”, Robin exclaimed.

“Uh yeah it’s actually her nap time, I’ve got to go. Thanks for the number Robin,” you said awkwardly as you took the cart and headed towards the door. You loaded your car up with groceries and headed home. When you got there you put all your groceries away, fed Ellie lunch and put her down for her nap. You took this opportunity to call Robin’s aunt Jackie and set up a time for an interview. It would be tomorrow at 1pm. You wondered if you would be able to take Ellie with you. When you were pondering over what you would do, you heard a knock at your door. You answered it and there stood Eddie.

“Hey, can I come in?,” He asked you.

“Yeah of course,” You responded and stepped aside to let him in. He walks over to the couch and takes a seat.

“Do you want anything to drink or a snack?,” You asked nervously as you still stood close to the front door.

“No thank you, can you come sit down actually, I want to talk to you about something. ,” He said and patted the seat next to him. You sat down and met his eyes with yours.

“Look, I’m sorry for the way I acted yesterday..”, he started and you cut him off.

“No, it’s my fault I should have told you sooner. You had every right to be upset with me.”, You said.

“No, we’re both adults now, and there is a child in the mix. And I want to be a part of that child’s life. We can even go at whatever pace you think is necessary. You can start off with me just being a friend that comes around until she gets used to me and then introduce me as her dad, or whatever you think would be best. Wayne also wants to be a part of her life. He is pretty much my dad so he would like to be eventually seen as her grandpa. I just want to be there..”, You cut him off again by hugging him.

“I would love nothing more than that Eddie.”, You respond. He wraps his arms around you and takes in your vanilla scent. He has missed you so much and you have definitely missed him. You break away from the hug and look at him. ,” She went down for a nap about 45 minutes ago and usually wakes up after an hour if you wanted to wait and meet her afterwards.”

“Yeah that would be great,” he responded with a smile. You put on a tv show and make small talk with Eddie when you hear a small voice calling for you in the other room.

“I’ll be right back,” You said as you left the living room. When you returned you had a toddler on your hip rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. He eyed you both and his heart swelled. You go to the kitchen and get Ellie a cup of juice and a pack of fruit snacks that she had been begging for since returning from the grocery store. You walk back into the living room and sit back down next to Eddie with Ellie sitting calmly in your lap. You switch the tv to a children’s channel and she takes interest in that.

“This is Ellie,” you say to Eddie. ,” Ellie, can you say hi to Eddie?”

“Hi ,” She responds shyly.

“Hi there,” Eddie responded smiling down at her.

“Fwuit snack?,” Ellie offered him some of the fruit snacks in her hand.

“Well how sweet of you to offer, thank you pretty girl,” Eddie said as he took a single fruit snack from her. She smiled and turned her attention back to the tv.

“I’m so happy you stopped by,” You said to Eddie as he popped the single fruit snack into his mouth. ,” Are you sure you don’t want anything to eat or drink? I just went grocery shopping and I have the good stuff.”

“Actually yeah I am pretty thirsty if you wouldn’t mind.,” He said. You set Ellie in the spot in between you and Eddie and got up to get him a coke and some chips. When you returned to the living room you see Ellie slowly climbing onto Eddie’s lap examining his hair.

“This is what yours can look like someday down the line,” He said to her quietly. She still had a little bit of residual tiredness in her and she plopped down onto Eddie’s lap and rested her head on his chest and continued to watch the tv. She mindlessly played with a strand of his hair while she watched her tv show. Your heart felt like it was going to explode. Ellie was usually pretty shy around new people, but she was already warming up to Eddie. I mean how couldn’t she, they both had the same likable personality. You walked into the room further and Eddie’s head moved towards you.

“Is this okay?,” He asked nervously as he pointed down to his daughter in his lap.

“Of course Eddie. She is your daughter.,” You respond to him. You hand him the Coca Cola and put the bag of chips on the coffee table.

“So how are you adjusting being back in Hawkins?,” He asked.

“It’s weird being back here after all this time. I have a job interview tomorrow with Robin’s aunt Jackie at her daycare at 1.”, You said.

“You’d be good at that. I’m not just saying this because you have a kid yourself now, but you’ve always been good with children.”, He responded.

“Thanks Eds. I’m hoping that they don’t mind if I bring Ellie with me since it is a daycare.”, You chuckle.

“Well, not to overstep its completely your decision, but I can always hang out with Ellie tomorrow for a little bit during your interview. I’m off and Wayne will be home too, and he has more experience with children than I do obviously. He does want to meet her, whenever you’re ready for that. Again no pressure.,” He stumbles nervously. You think about it for a moment.

“I say as long as tonight goes well and Ellie is okay with it, then I am okay with it. ,” You reply. You talked with Eddie some more and before you knew it, it was already time for you to start on dinner. ,”Are you okay hanging out with her in here while I make some dinner? You can eat with us.”

“Yeah totally,” Eddie responded without looking at you, getting invested in the children’s show with Ellie. You smiled to yourself and walked into the kitchen and started making one of Ellie’s favorites, spaghetti with meatballs and garlic bread. You also heated up a can of green beans in the hopes that she would eat some of them. As you finished up cooking, you got Ellie’s plate together and attached her booster seat to one of the dining table chairs. You set down a plate for you and Eddie as well. You walked into the living room and announced the dinner was ready. Ellie got down off of Eddie’s lap and ran into the dining room. You helped her up into her booster seat and fastened her in. She starting eating her cut up spaghetti and meatballs quickly and you chuckled to yourself.

“I went ahead and made you a plate, there are green beans in the pot up there if you want any,” you say to Eddie. Simultaneously, as if planned, Eddie and Ellie both make a disgusted face at the mention of green beans. ,” Wow, you two really are the same person.”

“No green beans mommy,” Ellie says making her sad eyes at you.

“Yeah, no green beans mommy ,” Eddie says with a chuckle.

“Ellie, if you eat 3 bites of green beans for mommy, I will let you have cookies after dinner. ,” you bribe your daughter. She gives you a look telling you that she’s contemplating that offer.

“I’ll eat 3 if you eat 3 kid,” Eddie responds.

“Okay, only 3,” she says as she holds up 3 little fingers. Eddie’s gets a little bit of green beans on his plate and they both eat the green beans with dramatic looks on their faces. You laugh to yourself as you eat dinner. After dinner, you get some cookies out for the 3 of you. Ellie’s energy level spikes up and so does Eddie’s as if they’re feeding off of each other.

“Hey babe, how would you feel if you hang out with Eddie a little bit tomorrow afternoon while mommy goes for a job interview?”, you ask Ellie as she and him play with her building blocks.

“Can I bring my blocks?,” She asks, looking between you and Eddie.

“Absolutely kiddo!,” Eddie’s says in response.

“Then I want to hang out with him mommy.,” She says matter-o-factly.

“Okay baby, its a plan then.”, you smile back at her. After everyone starts to settle down, you start to run a bath for Ellie and get her ready for bed. Eddie heads to your kitchen while you do this and starts washing your dishes. You take Ellie to what will be your room and set up her pack & play until you can get her a toddler bed. You lay in her and kiss her goodnight. She’s already falling asleep when you close the door to the dark bedroom. You exit the hallway into the kitchen and see Eddie finishing up the dishes in your sink.

“You didn’t have to do that,” you say quietly.

“It’s okay I wanted to help. ,” He said turning around to face you. You stare at him for a good minute taking in his features before you break the silence.

“Ellie is really excited to hang out with you tomorrow,” You say to him.

“I’m really excited to hang out with her, and Wayne will be excited to meet her.,” He says.

“I’m sure she’ll love him. Even though he probably isn’t very pleased with me now, I have always loved Wayne as a father figure myself.”, You respond.

“Wayne loves you Y/N, he always has. He’s not upset with you at all. He would love to see you again.”, Eddie responds.

“Well I will stop by your place a little early tomorrow to catch up with him if that’s okay.”, You say.

“Of course it is.”, he responds with a smile. You walk closer to him and give him a hug.

“I missed you so much Eds. Thank you for today. I really needed it. I thought I had lost you forever.,” You say to him quietly.

“You could never lose me,” He responds to you. You say your goodbyes for the night and get ready for bed. As you lay down you think about how great Eddie is and realize that you still had those same burning feelings for him that you did all those years ago, even more so now seeing him with your daughter. You had tried to date a couple times in Tennessee but it never amounted to anything. You now know why, you were still completely in love with your best friend.

Taglist

@teriolan-blog @applepiewithbacon @corrodedcoffincumslut @stokleycienna @plk-18

[foone]

One of my few problems with adopting Tumblr as my social media outlet of choice is the way reblogging your own threads to comment on them means you get this slow explosion of longer and longer posts, and all previous versions still exist on your timeline.

This got long, so musings about the differences in how long-text posts work on different social medias and the trouble with writing them on ADHD continued under the cut.

So if you scroll down my Tumblr account after a bunch of writing, you see:

FOONE: A, B, C, D, E

FOONE: A, B, C, D

FOONE: A, B, C

FOONE: A, B

FOONE: A

And this is annoyingly repetitive especially as posts get long. Which is a definite risk, I can type SO FUCKING MUCH.

And you might say "this is easily fixed: posts don't have to be short (this isn't Twitter) so just put all the content in one post", which, no. I have ADHD. Coming back in the room to go "AND ANOTHER THING!" is my modus operandi, you know? I can't think of all the things I want to say and just say them in one place and go "OK DONE" and click a button and let the internet go read it now. I don't know what I am going to say until after I have said it, and especially not what I am going to say next.

And I worry that the way Tumblr compounds your threads in this additive explosion means that the threshold for "this is too much of this punk" is much lower than other social networks, and that's a real worry for someone who writes as much as I do. I am happy to write endlessly for my own entertainment but I don't want to be annoying, and having to repeatedly scroll past multiple copies of my endless threads is going to get old fast.

Also on the subject of "one long post vs many short ones in a thread", splitting a post and continuing in a reply post/reblog has a functional use: it's like a paragraph break, but moreso. So it's good for indicating a break in the thought, to shift focus, or to take a tangent. (and as someone with severe adhd, my brain is 90% tangents)

Anyway I'm thinking I might do something weird like build a private mastodon instance and then set it up to sync threads to Tumblr.

Like, collect a full thread of small posts, turn them into paragraphs, and post that to Tumblr as one big post. It will work better, I think.

Fundamentally the problem I am facing right now is that Twitter is the best site for how my brain works. Individual tweets in a thread are a close approximation for how I think, so writing a long series of tweets is easiest for me. In that format, I can write. I can be creative. I can express myself.

And don't get me wrong: I love Tumblr. This is easily one of my favorite places on the web. But the "big open white page with plenty of room to write" model is not a good fit for my brain. I look at that and I can't get started. If I can get started, I can't finish, because I get bogged down in going back and editing and rewording.

Short small snippets in a row, like IRC or Twitter, prevent those problems. I don't have to think about the whole thing I'm writing, because I don't have room to write that. I just focus on the current line, and once that's done, I move on to the next. Did I misspell something? Could that have been phrased better? Well, too bad. That line is done now, you can only move forward.

Yeah this may not result in a work of literary genius but it at least results in something. I am not a great writer, I'm never going to be a new york times best seller... But I'm not aiming that high. Writing like this, as a series of short snippets and not going back to fix and re-edit them? It's the only way I can write at all. (and if you have ADHD that gets in the way of your writing, I recommend trying it).

I'd rather write in this specific and limited style than not write at all. There's too many ideas in my head, I need to get them out.

Anyway the reason I'm thinking about this now is that this is why I've traditionally been a heavy Twitter user (though let the record show that I have been on Tumblr for longer!). It works for that style of writing, so I could flourish there.

But it's dying. Oh God, is it dying. And I'm having to think about what to do next. Where to "go".

And as an aside, it's always weird how we always phrase these things like migrations. Like people are backing up their bags from site A and getting on a train to site B.

Maybe it's just my ADHD talking, but that's never been how I've used the web. I am in many, many places simultaneously, and have been for a long time.

I'm active, to different degrees, on Tumblr and Twitter and reddit and discord and mastodon and cohost and Facebook and LinkedIn and IRC and email chains and BBSes. The only thing that change if I "move" is how much I focus on one over an another. If I have a shitpost in my head, where do I decide to post it? If I want to talk about something more serious, where do I go?

Obviously with Twitter dying I'm focusing more on other places. I joked to someone on Twitter that I'm currently sharding what used to be my Twitter posts to Tumblr and mastodon: Tumblr gets the shitpostier and transier stuff, mastodon gets the techier stuff. But that may change as I find the right balance going forward.

Or, regarding my "persona Jubilee" post, I might just stop. I have been this Foone for a while, it might be time to stop and rethink.

Anyway, the final wrinkle in this overlong post: I wrote this much on Tumblr, despite all my talking about not being able to do it. I think I'm basically doing this by channeling my "Twitter thread mood" and not going back up and editing. Who knows if that means I've actually managed to overcome my previous inability to just write free-form long content, or if this is just a limited trick that I can't keep up. Time will tell.