#i need a fucking polycule going on in this book

[functionalasfuck]

I love how Liesel is to El what El is to Orion. Someone who forcibly yanks them from the scruff of their neck away from a cliff with sound logic and higher intellect when they’re about to stupidly jump off.

[sophaeros]

ALBERT HAMMOND JR.: After I moved in with Catherine and he moved in with Juliet, we just didn't hang out the same way anymore. I missed his energy. I got sad; I felt a distance between us. That was a big part for me in this band—just hanging out with him, just being friends with him. We lived together for seven years. I've never lived with a girl that long. JULIAN CASABLANCAS: Does that mean anything to me? I mean, of course. The way I remember it, we were roommates and we moved places and I wanted to stay roommates and I feel like maybe he was not so into it anymore. Albert, you don't know what you've got til it's gone, baby!

— Albert and Julian on Julian's marriage to Juliet, from Meet Me In The Bathroom by Lizzy Goodman, interviewed around 2011 (x)

[bittersweetblasphemy]

the problem with writing a fantasy loosely based on a historical culture is you need to decide how "loose" you're willing to go. like yeah i know they didn't have silk but fuck you there's a literal god sitting right the fuck there and of course he would want that shit. but also would the protagonist know what the fuck a book is?

[janedoeremi]

Tumblr Memes of 2023

January: Polls, Bug Race, Tumblr Sexyman Round 2, No Fly List Leak

February: Vanilla Extract, Tumblr Sexywoman Polls, Homestuck Fandom Commiting Voter Fraud, Miette decimating Todoroki in Blorbo Polls, Just so many polls

March: Dean Winchester and his Time Traveling Impala in The Winchesters, Celebrating Ides of March a week early, March 14th: The Day Krabs Fries, Ides of March, Autism Swag Poll, Ultimate Cat Girl (Gender Neutral) Poll, Putin having a warrent for his arrest, The Bots returned with a vengance

April: April Fools Day, Sonic the Hedgehog died, Trumps arrest, Barbie Arresting Trump, Everyone getting a Barbie description, Poll with Nina Tucker and Alexander needs them to tie to move on together, hyperspecific polls, Misha Collins assigned Bisexual by the WB, Elon Musk being the victim of Murphy's Law, It's gonna be May

May: Dracula Daily cast is stuck in a time loop, Trigun stan causes book: This Is How You Lose the Time War to become a bestseller, whatever the fuck happened with Eurovision, TOTK releases and gave us our feral Link back, Barbie and Ken arrested template.

June: Pride month, Across the Spiderverse... just all of it, trump getting arrested...again, The Great Reddit Migration & r/196, Horse Race, Meows Morales, The week long Titanic Oceangate Iron Lung Clusterfuck, Destial 'i love you' news meme trends at least 4 different times for different reasons, Papyrus says fuck day

July: Twitter post rationing causing Tumblr Migration 2: Electric Boogaloo, ao3 went down for 2 days, ao3 readers debating on going back to wattpad/ff.net, Barbieheimer double feature, Tree Law invoked, Elon renamed Twitter to X

August: Tiktok trying and failing to make their own Goncharov: Zepotha, Destiel confirmed canon again by not-so-rouge translator, Riverdale polycule finale, Trump mugshot, One Piece Live Action Pirate-Clown annoys Tumblr users

September: Mole Interest, Ice King became a Tumblr Sexyman again, 21st of September.

October: Spooky month, Merlin Twitter updates for first time in years to show streaming options confusing fans, The Amazing Digital Circus and Nerdy Prudes Must Die both trend for a week straight, trying to insert Markipler into the FNAF Movie

November: Nov. 5th 3rd year anniversary, Zach and Cody get their dinner reservation after 15 years. Goncharovs 1st 50th anniversary.

December: Gavle Goat being devoured by Jackdaws, Hbomberguy lives up to his name and nukes James Somerton's plagerism ridden channel, Its Dec 10th, We're gonna have to kill this guy template, almost Christmas, one more sleep til Christmas (screams internally), Halloween trends on Christmas Eve

[whataperfectwasteoftime]

The Rift - Chapter Three

Pairing: Marcus Moreno x Marcus Acacius x Marcus Pike x f!Reader

Rating: Chapter is T, overall fic is E (18+ only, explicit smut)

Word Count: 2.3k

Warnings: Bad Latin, language barriers, lots of yearning, Marcus Acacius is Very Hot and no one knows what to do about it

Summary: Marcus Pike shows up at your door in the middle of the night with a very broad man in Roman armor in tow. Armed with only your Classical studies education and a Latin-English dictionary, you do your best to help.

A/N: Okay, we've got three of the four members of this grammatically insane polycule in the same space! Only one more to go! I wonder how a certain Leader of the Heroics is doing.... Just a reminder, to keep everyone sane, the POV character is called out by name at the beginning of each POV switch.

Masterlist | Chapter Two | Next chapter>>

(You)

At around the same time that the leader of the Heroics was impatiently waiting for his coffee maker to finish brewing, you’re startled awake by loud, forceful knocking on your door. 

Going from ‘asleep’ to ‘instant dread’ in the span of two seconds makes your body feel like it’s short-circuiting. You tumble out of bed, grabbing the nearest object to potentially use as a weapon. You examine your choice–Stephen King’s The Stand, and shrug internally. I mean, if any book could be a blunt weapon… 

With your fingers white-knuckled around the thick spine, you peer carefully through the peephole to find–

“Marcus!?”

You yank open the door to find the Special Agent of your dreams standing on your welcome mat. “What the hell? Do you have any idea what time–”

“It was an emergency,” the Agent says quickly, holding up his hands in supplication. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know who else to call.” The dread returns to the pit of your chest. “Marcus, oh God, are you okay? What happened? What’s wrong?”

“It’s not me, it’s um. Well, let me show you.” He grimaces, then pushes someone else out from behind the corner and into view. 

It’s a man–a very large man. A large, broad man wearing a dress. No, wait. That’s not a dress, that's…

“Marcus,” you say carefully. “Why is there a man dressed in Roman armor on my doorstep.

“Marcus,” the man repeats, and slaps his chest. 

“Yes, that’s right,” the Agent says tiredly, as though he’s gone through this several times in the past hour. “This is Marcus. He’s from the Rift. I... kind of almost hit him with my car.”

“Car,” the Roman says, nodding seriously. He looks you up and down in a way that makes heat creep to your cheeks, and says something in a language that you don’t understand, but seems oddly familiar.

“Oh my God,” you murmur to yourself. “He speaks Latin.”

“I’m kind of at a loss,” Marcus, your Marcus says with a tired sigh. “I don’t know whether to call someone at Heroics, HQ, or… I dunno. I mean, who the fuck do you call when you have… a Roman?”

“Hang on.” You hold up a finger and dash over to your office, which is really just a tiny room off of the living room filled to the brim with shelves and shelves of books, with a tiny desk squeezed in between.

“You should get rid of your old college textbooks,” you say to yourself in a mocking tone. “How many times are you going to move house, and you still have all these books taking up space? Well, the joke’s on you, Linda, because I’ve got a Roman Centurion in my kitchen and the man of my dreams showed up at my door at three in the morning because he needs my help and this is my moment, dammit.” Your finger finally lands on the text you were looking for–a dog-eared copy of Oxford’s Latin-English Dictionary with a broken spine and part of the front matter missing. On a whim, you grab the first book next to it, Ovid’s Metamorphoses in the original Latin, and race back to Marcus and… other Marcus. 

“Salve,” you begin, and the Roman’s eyes snap to yours. 

Marcus Pike grins as though you’ve hung the stars.

Flipping through the pages frantically, you manage to string together your first sentence.

“You… are… safe… with… us.”

You hope you conjugated the verb correctly. 

The Roman murmurs something back, speaking slowly and deliberately, understanding that this is very much not your native tongue. He repeats it twice, until your face dawns with understanding. 

“Where am I?”

“Jesus, can we start with an easier one?” you chuckle to yourself. After some quick thinking, you manage to explain to Roman Marcus that he is in a different country, very far away from the world he knows.

The man shakes his head. “Quam?” he murmurs to no one in particular. 

That’s a tough one, too. You have no idea how to explain black holes and time rifts in Latin. 

You make a face, putting your hands up and shrugging your shoulders in an exaggerated pantomime of, “I don’t know.”

The man nods slowly. You feel awful for him, really. Stranger in a strange land. He must be terrified.

“Famelicus,” he says. 

You don’t know that one. You flip through the pages to find the F’s. 

“Famelicus,” he repeats, pointing to his stomach. “Panis?”

��Oh shit, yeah,” you whisper. “Of course you’re hungry.” You turn to the cupboard that serves as your pantry and search for something he’d recognize. You pull out half of a baguette and hold it up hesitantly. The man rips it from your grasp almost comically and begins to tear pieces off of it with his teeth, devouring the bread with gusto. 

“This is surreal,” Pike murmurs under his breath. 

When the Roman finishes eating, he seems almost as interested in the clear plastic wrapping than in the bread itself. He stares at it, brow furrowed with a deep frown of concentration as he crinkles the plastic over and over again in his fist. 

“I hate to ask, but can we… can we crash here until morning when I can think straight and figure out what the hell to do with this guy?” Marcus asks, looking pained. 

“Yeah, ‘course,” you reassure him. “I’ll help you. We’ll get him back to where he needs to go, or... find the person who can. In the morning.”

“In the morning,” Marcus nods, smiling gratefully. 

Turning to the Roman again, you say haltingly, “Somnus. Nox. Somnus?” Sleep. Night. 

The Roman also looks relieved at the prospect of sleep. 

“Uh, cubile,” you say, gesturing at the couch and indicating he can use it as a bed. You’re about to go rummage in your linen closet for a spare blanket and maybe a pillow, but Marcus the Roman strides confidently over to the couch, lies down, and is snoring within seconds. 

“Woah,” you remark, laughing to yourself. “Shit, Marcus, I only have the one couch…”

“I’ll take the recliner,” he says quickly, pointing to the battered, second-hand Lazy Boy in the corner of your living room. “Listen,” he swallows thickly, looking up at you with those deep brown eyes that make you melt in any situation, much less in the middle of the night in your dark living room. “Thank you. I didn’t know where else to go, and you–Well, if anyone can speak a dead language conversationally, it would be you.” His voice is soft and earnest, and you want to tell him anything at all, Marcus, anything for you but you force yourself to bite your tongue.

“It’s no problem,” you assure him. “Honestly. I mean, talk about a Classicists dream, right? When do you ever get to use the stuff you learned in graduate school in the real world?”

Marcus chuckles softly. “Go get some sleep. We’ll tackle Mount Olympus in the morning, yeah?”

“That’s Greek, not Roman,” you snort.

He winks at you, and you will your knees not to buckle. “Whatever,” he teases playfully. 

“‘Night,” you say, hoping you don’t sound too breathless. Without waiting for a reply, you retreat to your bedroom before you can make a fool of yourself even further.

“‘Night,” Marcus returns softly, and when you turn to close the door, he’s still looking at you. 

(Pike)

Marcus awakens to the comforting sound of someone puttering quietly around the kitchen. He opens his eyes to see you–what a beautiful sight–reaching up on your tiptoes to take three mugs from the cupboard. The other Marcus is awake too, sitting at the kitchen table and watching your task with curiosity.

When he stirs from the recliner, you smile in greeting. “I made coffee,” you offer brightly. 

“Sainted being,” Marcus groans tiredly as he gets up from the chair, his joints creaking and protesting as he stands. 

“Cah-fee,” the Roman repeats as you pour the steaming liquid into three cups. 

“I don’t think you’re gonna like it,” you say with a chuckle as he reaches for one of the mugs. “It’s hot. Calidus. Be careful.”

“Care-fool,” the man nods seriously, and Marcus can’t help but smile at the bizarre domesticity of the scene. 

He sips cautiously, makes a face, and lets out a string of Latin that Marcus takes to understand that he didn’t like the coffee.

You snort. “I told you. How about, ah, milk?” You flip through your dictionary. “Lac? Lacte?” You take the quart out of your fridge and hold it up.

“Lac. Mil-k?” 

“Yes!” you squeal excitedly, spinning around to grab another cup. Before you can turn around, however, the Roman has managed to open the carton of milk himself and begins chugging from it. 

At your shocked expression when you turn back around, Marcus can’t help but let out a loud laugh. The other man stares at him questioningly, and he gestures to the cup. “The cup.”

“Cup,” the man repeats, and laughs too. 

“I’m gonna make some eggs,” you announce. “He should like that, you think?”

Marcus shrugs. “I don’t see why not.”

You hold up an egg for the man’s inspection. “Uh, ovum?” you ask.

His face brightens. “Sic, ovum,” he agrees. He stands and inspects the carton thoughtfully. “Quid est?” 

“Ovum,” you answer again, not understanding the question. 

“No.” The Roman picks one up carefully and points to himself. “Ovum,” he says patiently, then points to you.

Oh. Marcus grins. “I think he wants to know the word in English.”

“Egg,” you tell him. 

“Egg,” he repeats. The word seems to strike him as funny, because he repeats it several times, chuckling as he does. 

Now that understanding has been made, ‘Quid est?’ seems to be the man’s new favorite question. He repeats it over and over as you make breakfast, getting in your way in the process and generally causing chaos throughout the small apartment. Marcus tries his best to run interference, answering all of his questions to the best of his ability. Thankfully, he seems to stick to objects that are familiar to him–a pillow, chair, fork–rather than ask Marcus about the microwave, or, god forbid, his cell phone. He repeats every English word thoughtfully, in a thick accent and rumbling voice that he can’t help but find attractive. 

“Hey, you don’t think anyone else saw our friend here last night and said anything?” you say suddenly while the three of you sit around your kitchen table eating the eggs. 

Somehow, the thought hadn’t even crossed Marcus’s mind. “Shit, I dunno,” he admits.

“I’m gonna check the news.” you grab the remote off of the coffee table and switch on the TV. 

The noise and pictures emanating from the screen immediately cause Marcus to spit curses in Latin. He tries to rise from his chair in alarm, but you place your hand on his forearm and repeat several words in Latin softly and reassuringly, and the man calms. 

The local news is, as it has been since its arrival, fixated on the Rift. Everything seems as expected–normal seems to be the wrong word–until Marcus realizes what the anchor is saying. 

“ –was successfully closed around six am this morning. Joining us now is Marcus Moreno, leader of the Heroics, to give us an update on the situation.”

“What do they mean, ‘Closed?’” you ask with a frown. 

“Shh,” Marcus says. 

“Mr. Moreno, representatives from your team are saying that the portal is now closed, is this correct?” the anchor asks. 

“That’s right. The um… the security risk was too great, and we don’t really know what that kind of rip in the fabric of uh, you know, space and time, is capable of. Our team of physicists have been working on a solution day and night and I’m happy to announce that the Rift has disappeared completely and Pennsylvania Avenue should be reopening in the next few days as cleanup begins.”

“Is there any chance of it opening again?” the anchor asks. 

Marcus Moreno looks uncomfortable. “Listen, the… the math around this isn’t my strong suit, but my understanding is that these kinds of things–rifts in space and time–can only happen when an exponential amount of energy is released, so barring another supervillain somewhere out there with the same Black Hole bomb, there shouldn’t be any more Rifts opening in the nation’s capital anytime soon. Uh, thanks.”

“He’s always so stiff in interviews,” you comment. “You think he’s uncomfortable with the limelight, or what?”

“Are you being serious right now?” Marcus shakes his head in disbelief. “The portal is closed. The Rift is gone. And our friend here is trapped on the wrong side.”

“Oh, shit,” you breathe. “Oh, fuck. Marcus… what do we do?”

“I’m gonna go to Heroics HQ,” Marcus announces. “To talk to Moreno one-on-one and try to keep this situation quiet. He’s a good guy, he’ll use discretion.” “You know Marcus Moreno?”

“How is that your takeaw–nevermind. I mean, I don’t know him, but I’ve definitely come across him in professional settings in the past. Why?”

“He’s–” you laugh nervously. “It’s silly. I always kind of had a crush on him. Childhood celebrity crush, you know how it is.”

“Oh. Right.” Is it hot in here? Did someone raise the temperature in this room? Marcus can’t explain why the prospect of you finding the leader of the Heroics attractive eats at him so much, but the next thing that you say nearly makes him swallow his tongue.

“Actually, you resemble him a lot,” you comment nonchalantly. “You’ve got the same pretty brown eyes.”

The other Marcus chooses this moment to hold up his empty plate and ask, earnestly, “Egg?”

[artdcnaldson]

thinking about reading getting pregnant in the polycule au? not being sure who’s baby it is and just completely disrupting the gentle balance that the four of y’all just reached.

🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

Tashi figures it out first. She keeps your cycle on her calendar with hers, knows when you should be whining about cramps or bloating a bit, when you typically get moody and clingy. And you’ve been late before, so she tries to brush it off. You just got a new IUD, you should be fine.

It’s Patrick that sets off warning bells, though. He’s snacking from the fridge while you’re coloring with Lily at the table. It’s far enough that he feels comfortable talking about you. “God, her tits have looked so fucking good lately,” he says with a smarmy grin. “Did you buy her a new bra?”

Tashi slaps his arm, rolls her eyes, and walks away. That night, she returns from running errands with a couple of boxes of pregnancy tests. She pulls you aside, and tells you she thinks you should take it.

“I just had my period, Tash,” you assure her.

“Okay. It’ll still make me feel better if you just take a couple of tests.”

You sigh, glancing past her towards Art and Patrick and Lily, all squabbling over what to watch on TV. Tashi follows your gaze, rubs your back, kisses your cheek softly.

The boxes are waiting for you in your bathroom, with handwritten instructions left by Tashi, ever the perfectionist. You make sure you follow her steps, not wanting to fuck it up and get an invalid result. Tashi waits outside of the door, you see her heels clicking back and forth as she paces.

And of course the test is positive. You knew what it was going to say as soon as Tashi said she thought you needed one. When you open the door, she can read it in your expression, in the slight twitch of her lips as she offers a comforting smile.

“Okay,” she says, wrapping you up in her arms. “We’ll book an appointment with the doctor, we’ll get everything straightened out. We’ll do whatever you want to.”

And you don’t know what you want, because you’re terrified that you’ll spoil everything once Art and Patrick find out. That Patrick’s going to get spooked and run, that Art’s going to get possessive again. That you’ll spoil everything right after it got good again :((

[blacklegsanjiii]

i keep seeing so much content of sanji being raised by a warlord and brought to the meetings and desperately need more abt that. depends on who his parents is, but what are his relationships with the other warlords in one of these aus? how many recognize him, how many are still fond of him, how many turn a blind eye to the boy who used to pester them as a child?

come to think about it- is it possible to have an au where sanji is raised by all of the warlords at once? i have no idea how this would happen, but sanji is just. passed between warlords like a child of divorced parents (fuck he would have to grow up with croc AND mingo oh dear). all of them end up getting attached to him and are conflicted when he becomes a strawhat pirate. his crew mostly just want answers on how all these powerful enemies clearly know their cook, who keeps dodging all their questions cause he doesnt want to face the backlash of the warlords' collective ward becoming an enemy of the wg

So I'm going to answer this ask in two parts because that's so funny. I'm going to skip Donquixote!Sanji just because he has the most interaction and detail in regards to Warlord meetings and Dad!Mihawk never brought Sanji nor did Boa. So unfortunate they don't get time to shine.

1. How the warlords react to a kid being the meetings.

With Fishman!Sanji everyone thinks he's cute and quiet and his snacks are so good. Doffy uses this Sanji to try to sway Crocodile into kidnapping a child with him. Crocodile is just "anything raised by you won't make it to twenty, no." Boa thinks Fishman!Sanji is fine. He thinks she's pretty and says it but Sanji is more interested in the libraries and Marines than anyone there. Crocodile absently pats Sanji as he passes where as Doffy holds him to the sky and Boa is like "ew" for the most part. Gecko Moria is probably disinterested in all of the Sanjis and will avoid him. Perona is interested though and will play with Sanji when she's there too. Mihawk will actually smile at the boy and talk to him about cooking and will bring a bento for the boy sometimes. Kuma doesn't have his humanity so.................................

Croc!Sanji basically says hi to everyone and then reads quietly. Mentions every once in a while how dumb or inefficient something is. If Doffy comes at him he runs for it. The first time Sanji comes to a warlord meeting in a dress or whatever Boa is like "is he making fun of woman?" And Croc is like "my son has no gender" which makes Boa take him shopping properly. Mihawk and Jinbei will leave cook books or something. Perona does Sanji's make up whenever he's in a dress.

Perona stands in for Gecko Moria I feel like. He just seems more interested in zombies than children. Which, I get. Big Sister Perona comes in when she's old enough.

Readmore for divorced polycule parenting. It does get to marineford,

2. The Warlords(Except Kuma, for obvious reasons) all co parent Sanji. Let's start with which warlord finds Sanji!

I am screaming. OH NO! Mihawk showing up to a warlord meeting, holding a child and apologizing for his delay? Doffy asks what that thing he's holding is and Mihawk is like this my son, Sanji. Everyone is staring at him. Boa asks what the fuck he's doing with a kid.

Mihawk explains he got Sanji and Redleg off a rock and Sanji went with him and the kid is like ten and so small. Doffy somehow cajoles Sanji to be held by him despite his fear and it's like a whole thing and Mihawk is amazed because he's been bitten so hard it draws blood. Everyone is amazed. Crocodile is genuinely concerned about the fucking man holding this kid who is maybe a tenth his size at best. He even gets Sanji calmed down more by moving his coat enough to hide Sanji in it while he holds him.

After the meeting Sanji is properly introduced to all who care, even if Boa is a bit standoffish. Crocodile asks if he'll be a regular attendee to the meetings and Mihawk says yes because he doesn't want to leave Sanji alone on Kuriagana with the humandrills. Jinbei asks Sanji a few questions which they all attentively listen to the answers of. Sanji stutters out about opening a restaurant on the All Blue and being the first to find it.

The next meeting Sanji is gifted cookbooks by the other four warlords and Sanji thanks them quietly with tears in his eyes and ohhh they were not expecting that. Nope.

"What the hell, kid? You can't expect us to believe Mihawk is the first person to be nice to you." Crocodile puffs on his cigar and when Sanji doesn't answer Boa grabs Sanji and holds him for the meeting. Afterwards Doffy uses his strings to take Sanji around. Mihawk is frowning the entire time as Boa tries to turn Doffy to stone and Jinbei tells her not to do that for Sanji's safety. Crocodile manages to lure Doffy back with the promise of a meal.

The next meeting Mihawk has to go on a job that will take a few weeks and he doesn't want to take Sanji so Crocodile offers to take him to Alabasta and return him at the next warlord meeting. So Sanji goes with him and at the next meeting Daz and Bon Clay are there and Bon Clay is explaining to Mihawk and Boa that Sanji isn't just a boy. Boa squeals in delight and after the meeting she and Mihawk take Sanji shopping. Sanji is confused because it was just something he thought he could only do in Alabasta but Mihawk is like "Why would I do anything to stop you from being happy?" And Boa is so happy because she has new little person to spoil with fine dresses and stuff and Mihawk is trying to explain that Sanji is training physically and Boa is like "AND???? LET ME SPOIL THEM MIHAWK!!"

The next time Doffy takes them despite Crocodile and Jinbei saying he shouldn't but Doffy just flips them off and basically kidnaps the kid. Sanji comes back with three carton of cigarettes, fifteen bentos and looks like he hasn't bathed in a week despite Doffy and Sanji saying that they just took a bath. Everyone is looking at Sanji and the cigarettes and Sanji is like "Doffy's family gave them to me as a going away present. Baby 5 kept hitting me."

"You gotta hit her back!"

"That isn't appropriate let alone with their trauma." Jinbei says.

"We'll train them." Boa proclaims proudly.

"Oh no." Mihawk whispers to himself.

Jinbei takes him next because everyone but him is on a job and Sanji is marveling at everything in Fishman island and excitedly tells everyone when the next meeting happens. At this point they all stay after the meetings to hang out with the kid and if they're staying the night to get breakfast together. But it's weird for the marines to see the Warlords, some of the most feared pirates on the seas be sweet to this kid.

Boa gets Sanji last. Sanji comes back with so many dresses and skirts some make up and their hair styled. Doffy picks them up and proclaims them as "Cute" while displaying Sanji to the marines around them. Jinbei laughs in agreement. Mihawk is pinching the bridge of his nose and practicing his breathing techniques. Thus begins the rotation because Sanji is just being passed around by the warlords because they all went to spend time with Sanji equally.

Perona eventually finds out about this but instead spends the weeks Sanji is with Mihawk with them and enjoying her time on Kuriagana. She and Sanji play dress up. Sanji cooks all the time too. Perona talks about zombies and Mihawk listens. They all paint nails and Mihawk says they should be doing this on Amazon Lily and not Kuriagana. Both Sanji and Perona stick their tongues out at the man.

Sanji still has set backs and the warlords will have calls to check in on Sanji. Like it is insane how caring they all are for this kid. Sanji's ptsd with bugs? Doffy has someone whip an anti bug cream. Nightmares? Jinbei will tell him stories and teach him some techniques to calm down. Mihawk explains haki and how to hide and use it to his advantage. Crocodile teaches him all about finances and shit. When Sanji is dysphoric Mama Boa is all about taking them out and spoiling them and just affirming their gender and will let the others know.

Sanji is suddenly calling four men variations of "dad" and Boa is "mom" and being taught multiple different fighting styles, languages, and is working on his haki. And when he starts at the Baratie all the Warlords will come visit him and on his birthday? It's a mad house. It's insane and Zeff, Patty, and Carne are looking at the guy calling five different warlords 'Dad', 'Papa', 'Papi', 'Mama', 'Pops' and just watching them cater to the eggplant as if he's so good and when Sanji tells them Zeff won't let them berate women for incidents with food wastage Doffy brings Baby 5 and Perona to Baratie and Sanji fears for his fucking life because this is a no win situation.

When Sanji joins the Strawhat crew on the phone with Crocodile in Little Garden he disguises his voice to the best of his abilities and it doesn't really fool the man who since he knows what's going thanks to Robin being at Whiskey Peak. Crocodile calls the other parents and is like "Guess what our child is doing" Mihawk mentions he let the greenhaired one live when he was at Baratie. Boa screams that Mihawk is dumb and suddenly everyone on the call is yelling at each other except Jinbei who is laughing his fucking ass off.

In Impel Down Crocodile Jinbei obviously convinces Luffy to get Crocodile out and when they're all at Marineford Jinbei yells to the other warlords that Luffy is Sanji's captain, Ace is Luffy's brother, and Sanji is missing thanks to Kuma. Mihawk asks if that's why Roronoa is at Kuriagana.

"Probably, so change of plans?" Crocodile asks.

"Change of plans." Doffy nods.

"Boa, you do know Luffy is seventeen, correct?" Jinbei asks her and she's frowning.

"No, I don't read the paper."

"WOMAN YOU ARE LITERALLY A QUEEN NOW LET'S DO THIS BEFORE EVERYONE GETS KILLED!" Crocodile yells and suddenly there's two extra warlords helping in the fight and the Marines are like 'fuck' and Ace and Luffy are confused because no one has mentioned this. At all. So the Warlords take over the fight to get the fleet. Jinbei gets Ace and Luffy out and promises to explain when the other's join them even if they're fading in and out from everything that happened and both of them still taking lava punches.

Shanks shows up and ends the war and finds out on the television that five warlords, two of which were in Impel Down started fighting with Luffy to save Ace and he still ends the war. When he asks them about it they just go "He's our child's captain." Shanks and Buggy are blinking at them confused because what the fuck.

[onboardsorasora]

Sora, hear me out. What do you think about MobWife!Daniel AU?

Bestie... I feel like you knew I was trying to sidestep this and you put it in my path like a rock or a banana peel for me to trip over. I know you did! you know what? I saw it and I still tripped because I am clumsy!

So far I don't have many thots on mob wife Daniel, only like a visual vibe. I wish I could draw or do digital art because I think he would be breathtaking. either way, here is some of my vibe written down.

Mob wife Daniel would 1000% be Renault era Daniel. There’s just a level of cunt he served in 2019 that cannot be spoken about enough. Gucci all day, because he is a Gucci boy. He wears his fave rings and chains all the time. He’s always dressed so nicely– even if it's a big tshirt and shorts. He always looks put together and fuckable.

He’d be married to Christian, he got married young like a good Italian boy to someone who would take care of him. And Christian does take care of him, Daniel knows about the business but he doesn’t get his hands dirty. He’s an unknown secret keeper, he knows where the safehouses are and there are accounts in his name in case the feds try anything.

He’s also fucking Max, his new bodyguard.

Christian takes care of all of his needs and Max takes care of the ones Christian forgets about. 

Christian knows about Max– he has eyes everywhere– but Christian wants Daniel to be happy, and if this makes him happy then so be it. Besides, Max is a ruthless killer so he also wants to keep him happy.

They’d probably argue about dumb shit, and Daniel isn’t afraid to get loud because he knows Christian won’t hurt him. Because Max won’t let him. It’s a fucked up polycule where Daniel gets everything he wants– as he should.

I imagine one of the arguments is like at dinner time and Christian is complaining about how someone never did a good job with keeping a hit quiet and Daniel is annoyed because he didn’t want to hear about it because they had better things to talk about– like going on a trip.

“Christian please! All day I watched Marta slave over this dinner and all you can talk about his fuckin Jev. Look, we made your favourite! Did you even like notice that? No! Jeepers!” Daniel throws his napkin down and gets up, his chains glint in the soft light. Christian stares at the long line of his throat and the small hollow of his clavicle. Christian leans back in his chair and rests an elbow on the arm.

“Are you finished?”

“No! Because you promised– just like you promised me a vacation but here we fuckin’ are.” Daniel puts his hands on his hips. Max continues eating his meal between them.

“Where do you want to go?” Christian asks, because it was easier to give Daniel what he truly wanted. 

“You said we’d go to Seychelles. I even bought new swimsuits.” Daniel doesn’t exactly whine, but he does pout and bat his eyelashes. Max bites back his snort, Christian catches it of course.

“How’d they look?” Christian asks Max, nodding over to him. 

“You’d like them.” Max confirms. He doesn’t need to tell Christian that Daniel sucked his dick while trying them on. 

“Put them on for me tonight, if I like em we can go to Seychelles.” Christian bargains, he watches the slow grin that takes over Daniel’s beautiful face. Daniel saunters over and kisses Christian filthily before walking away. Christian, of course, swats his ass as he goes.

Of course Daniel gets what he wants and Christian’s assistant books the trip. Christian might be always busy, but he makes time for Daniel. They don’t always fuck, but when they do, Daniel is a docile dove afterward. Because Christian knows how Daniel likes to be fucked, he knows what makes his wife happy. 

part 2?

[armandposting]

if you are caught up in what ships are "endgame" in the vampire chronicles or related media you are missing the whole point of anne rice vampires which is that they function like the worst most drama-filled queer community group you've ever heard of while being immortal and having unlimited resources. one of the last books in the series is about drama in lestats polycule because this guy that he pissed off ages ago kidnapped two of his boyfriends and his mom (who he is in love with as well don't worry about it) therefore provoking the ire of several of his other boyfriends because they were also dating those guys so they set aside their differences of opinion on whether or not they should farm the alien species that lives among them for easy blood in order to go steal back the cule members which lestat accomplishes by tearing the kidnapper's eyes out and eating them (which he didn't do before because the kidnapper was hot and so lestat was holding out hope that he would also join the polycule eventually). a side plot to this is lestat meeting a vampire he hasn't met before and bringing him home so the new guy and louis can read tolstoy together because as soon as lestat met this vampire he was like omg I need to bring this guy home for boyfriend enrichment. you cannot BEGIN to comprehend the complexity of vampire sucking and fucking in the anne rice universe

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 5/7/2024

i have Got to read a book i enjoy this week or my brain will turn into something the consistency of dried tomato paste on a kitchen counter

also i have lost track of the timing and rhythm of the seasons so for the first time in a very long time there is no may starred war tuesdaypost

listening

Chapstick by COIN off my weekly recommended spotify playlist. i don’t think this song is particularly interesting or well-executed as a whole, but the lyrics

She’s a friend of mine, and an alibi

And the getaway car in overdrive, like

Hey sharpshooter, I like the way you’re moving

i think the use case for this song is a telecom company trying to get you to switch by promising some portable Bluetooth speakers for your summer parties and this is playing diagetically as we slip in and out of various summer parties, following one TV-hot woman in a sundress

-

reading

i am once again not sleeping well and have shoved a lot of mediocre books into my gaping maw. i have read a good fuckin chuck of the jason todd outlaws runs. i like jason todd/the red hood bc i feel a certain kinship with someone trained for an incredibly specific thing who are then thrown away the second they stop conforming. darth maul also but that’s a different post.

i have several bones to pick with writer scott lobdell. i know this was the early teens but can we chill with the misogyny for a singular page. why themes of addiction only when it is needed to fill a narrative lull? and why are you continually going to put jason in interesting situations where he might confront his trauma or grow despite his trauma and then. not have him confront his trauma or grow at all because of it??? i like snatches of the early issues of the run, when the outlaws are figuring out how to be a polycule team on the most beautiful deserted island and crashed spaceship you’ve ever seen. i liked the art in most issues and these had just enough fun flashes of character (about every other issue) to keep me reading. but im annoyed by it.

i finally finished Wilkie Collins’ The Moonstone, the first physical paper book i have finished in a long time. the flaw of being the first in the english detective fiction genre is that everyone who comes after has a lot of time to perfect it. i felt the actual perpetrator was a little beyond belief and the ending was fumbled. however it was very good at sustaining my interest for like 400 pages. not my picture bc i cannot be bothered to find my copy and bother a cat, but this is the penguin edition i own. i don’t actually know if i will keep it on my shelves but maybe it’s more of a trophy of me getting back into reading physical books?

Alexis Hall’s Mortal Follies also annoyed me. i do not think this author’s strong suit is in longer books. i have read previous books in two hours and change and while i found the ending here satisfying from a fairytale perspective, i did not enjoy the path we took to get there. i thought we were ending and wrapping things up at least three times, and the number of Things that happen in order to carry us on to the next Thing does not feel gleefully madcap but sort of frantically shambling. a very classic three-days time limit is introduced in the middle, it is met, and then we continue on for several months. also the author introduces the concept of shipping your friends with an equally made-up word as shipping through one of the more tiresome characters in the novel and this…cracking? chip? in the fourth wall? fucking annoyed me. it felt very out of tone with the rest of the book. surely there was a better way for this character to express that she wanted the two leads to be together

-

watching

Hammerhead (1968, dir. Miller). this is leaving tubi soon and sometimes the heart needs a silly little James Bond ripoff. had high hopes for this one bc it was rated R and the baddie was obsessed with collecting vintage erotica. i don’t really know why this is rated R. the erotica we see is almost all prints of Fine Art Nudes. there’s a lot of cleavage and undergarments and bikinis but not like. full frontal at any point. no man has their chest out except for an enterprising motorcyclist near the end.

anyway this is a deeply unserious film, as you may surmise. it’s not much fun, especially when it’s not very good at getting everyone to the next scene. Vince Edwards is kind of a cold fish, i do not know why every woman is throwing herself at him. Judy Geeson makes every scene she’s in better (there’s a very funny scene in a post office where they play both keepaway and the thimble game with an important package) but she cannot hold the whole dragging movie up by herself. god they made leading ladies fucking tiny back then. very throwable

-

playing

not fallow but i don’t have anything interesting to say about genshin this week. a friend started playing fnv after several months of subtle hints, i was only able to join his streams after twenty hours in and promptly let him know the inventory is sortable if you click at the top. how had he been going through his whole fucking inventory for twenty hours like that. a man singularly obsessed with both inventory management and min-maxing caps. he had like 8k caps by the time he got to Novac, taking the normal route. people sure can play games in different ways huh

-

making

put some dijon mustard and some broccoli in some macaroni and cheese. that's about it

[markantonys]

the single best thing the show could do for the polycule is a very simple change: make it happen on purpose. make all four members work together from the beginning to set up a poly relationship intentionally, rather than stumbling into one due to a mix of miscommunication and Fate Said So.

in the books, rand thinks he's having a series of unconnected romantic encounters with three different women and has no idea a polycule is developing until the women come to him to propose the final product. it is documented that the reason rj wrote it this way is because it's inspired by a similar situation he was once in, so i can't exactly blame him for writing based off personal experience, but it does cause several problems in the story.

Problems:

a) rand has little to no input on his own relationship(s) and spends the whole series being extremely passive in his love life. this makes him come across as at best a victim to the whims of his partners who is not allowed to express what HE wants out of the relationship, and at worst an asshole who doesn't really care about any of them as people and doesn't care what arrangements the three of them work out so long as he gets to fuck SOMEONE. it also means that the romances don't have as much of an emotional impact on him/his character development as they should (and as they do on the women) because he's just kinda floating along going "oh whatever you guys want, makes no difference to me."

b) elayne and aviendha get a bad fandom rap as being bad partners to rand because they confuse him on purpose and play games with him. like most of elayne's (in particular) bad fandom raps, this is an unfair exaggeration, but it's rooted in the fact that rj wanted rand to wind up in a polycule by accident rather than helping arrange a polycule on purpose, which means that rand has to hook up with 3 different women in a row without realizing that a polycule is brewing, without having discussed the idea of additional partner(s) with his prior partner(s) and gotten their permission to hook up with other people, AND without coming across as a cheater. which means that rand has to believe himself sufficiently broken up with the prior woman before he can hook up with the next one, which means that elayne has to send him conflicting letters so that he can get away with hooking up with aviendha and aviendha has to freeze him out so that he can get away with hooking up with min.

("they're just greedy/indecisive/cheaters" is probably the biggest harmful stereotype against poly people, and the above approach from the books flirts with that far too much, so the show definitely needs to change that. the majority of people have a very very difficult time understanding polyamory (just look at tumblr, where even the ~wokest~ WOT fans are saying the polycule should be split up into 2 monogamous pairings bc they think the poly aspect is "weird" and they insist that elayne Actually loves aviendha the most or rand Actually loves min the most and that they can't possibly REALLY mean it when they say they love multiple people equally), which is why it's especially important that the show portray it in a way where it's abundantly clear that it's not cheating or rand being greedy/indecisive/stringing a bunch of women along.)

c) the problem for the other 3's approach to the polycule is miscommunication. the problem for min's is Fate Said So. she is rammed into the polycule by prophecy rather than by spending enough time with the other parties to come to want it on her own, and so she coasts along on "you have to let me join your relationship because it's fated to happen no matter what" rather than needing to put in the same work elayne and aviendha do of bonding with each other, making an effort to learn about aiel polyamory practices (in elayne's case), and growing to genuinely want to share their partner with each other and to genuinely enjoy seeing the other happy with him.

the result is min feeling out of place in the relationship: elayne constantly thinks about how she loves rand and aviendha equally, then sometimes hastily adds min as an afterthought; aviendha is very firm that she can't share rand with elayne until they're first-sisters, but shrugs and makes an exception for min for no reason (but then proceeds to think how she wishes she didn't have to share her partner with a near-stranger); min barely cares about the other two and frequently thinks how she wishes she could just have rand to herself and it's unfair that she has to share him. it's a very glaring contrast how elayne and aviendha come to feel genuine joy and compersion at rand's love for the other, while the most positive thought min ever has is "if i HAVE to share (which i'd rather not), then elayne isn't the worst option for a co-partner."

on this last point, monogamous people forcing themselves to try out polyamory for their poly partner's sake (which is absolutely how book!min comes across) is something that happens and gets people hurt irl, and contributes to the societal misconception that polyamory never works out long term and that a choice will inevitably have to be made (again, see tumblr deciding that the endgame will have to be elayne & aviendha happily monogamous in caemlyn and reddit that it will have to be rand & min happily monogamous traveling the world). so if the show is going to portray polyamory, imo it has a responsibility to show that it is a viable long-term relationship type that people can be genuinely happy in. thus, all 4 parties need to choose this type of relationship because they want it, not because fate said they had to, and especially min since she's the one who is the most explicitly in the "only doing this bc fate" camp in the books (whereas rand, elayne, and aviendha all come across as genuinely polyamorous people who likely would have settled on this arrangement even without prophecy foreknowledge).

Solutions:

i made a post recently-ish with a hypothetical timeline for 8 seasons of the show, so if i make any unexplained assumptions in this section about what seasons various characters will be spending time together during, that's where they came from.

i feel pretty confident that rand/aviendha will be the first romance we see in the show, since he's still getting over his much-more-serious-than-the-book-version relationship with egwene and it would make sense to give him season 2 to finish that up and to hold off on new romance for him until season 3. i'm predicting he and aviendha will also meet elayne at falme in 2x08, but i also expect the characters will set off on their TSR roadtrips by the end of 3x01 at the latest, which gives rand and elayne no more than 1-2 episodes together - enough to establish Crush Vibes, but not enough to actually have anything happen between them. so, the show will go out of order and start with rand/aviendha.

which is a perfect way of changing the polycule from accidental to intentional! having rand's first romance be with the partner who is from a poly-aware culture means that the entire set of relationships is now being built off a poly-aware base. from the get-go, aviendha can explain the concept of polyamory to rand and make it clear to him that she is comfortable with that sort of relationship, which means that they can get together and stay together rather than needing to backslide so that rand has an excuse to go off and fuck other people. he doesn't need excuses if he instead has permission! also, rand/elayne not having happened yet would mean aviendha has no reason to feel guilty and pull away from rand after sleeping with him.

so, rand and aviendha are solidly together and poly-curious by the time they reunite with elayne in s4. aviendha can see that rand and elayne like each other, so she encourages them to get together, and rand/elayne can indeed get together without rand/aviendha needing to be tanked first since rand and aviendha are both on the same pro-poly page. elayne knows a little about polyamory from meeting bain and chiad at falme (and maybe from meeting alanna or other greens at the tower), and she has feelings for rand but also likes aviendha and doesn't want to interfere with their relationship, so she is happy to agree to the arrangement. but she still has plenty to learn about aiel ways and about aviendha, and aviendha wants to become first-sisters as is proper, so even without aviendha having toh to elayne for banging rand, the two of them still have a reason to want to bond and grow closer (and for the show, this arc will result in them falling in love instead of or in addition to becoming first-sisters).

so we've fixed the narrative relying on miscommunication to get rand, elayne, and aviendha into the polycule. now to fix the reliance on Fate Said So for min. we can safely say that she's already had her 3-women viewing judging by that line in s1, so she already knows the polycule is fated. this in itself is fine - wrestling with knowing you're fated to love someone is an interesting character arc if done well and done sparingly [sideeyes rj on both counts]. what needs to be changed is how min USES this foreknowledge.

don't have her share it with elayne, aviendha, or rand until after the four of them have gotten together naturally. have her discuss the viewing with her aunts in s2 (or, hell, even with mat, could be a good way to contribute to the friendship they're supposed to have at the end of the series) instead of with elayne, and have her say she knows who 2/3 of the other people are but would never want to tell them about this viewing because it sucks to know you're fated to love someone before it's happened and she'd hate to burden anyone else with that knowledge. have her keep the viewing to herself because she wants rand and elayne (and aviendha, tho min doesn't yet know who she is) to have the freedom to fall in love by choice, even though she herself can't have that freedom. (shit, now that i write it out i actually LOVE the idea of mat being the one she's having this convo with since he too will soon be struggling with a Fated Romance.)

in the books, by telling elayne soon after meeting her that she'll have to share her boyfriend with 2 others and then in salidar going "one of them is me btw so you'd better give me permission to fuck your boyfriend when i see him soon," it feels like min is using her viewing to bully elayne (and later aviendha) into letting her join the relationship. min telling rand in eotw that he shouldn't bother with egwene because they won't end up together also contributes to this vibe, and the show has thankfully already cut out that moment, so i have high hopes that they're attempting to make min more..........empathetic, i guess, in terms of how she uses her viewings. book!min is understandably afraid of being left out in the cold since she doesn't know which if any of them rand will love back, so she uses her viewings to prime the other parties to be willing to Let Her In when the time comes, basically, but it's still kind of a shitty thing to do. however, so far, due to being older and much more mature and much more reluctant to share viewings, show!min gives me the vibes that she would rather quietly resign herself to unrequited love than have to burden other people with the knowledge that their love is Foretold (particularly once she comes to view elayne as a friend in s2).

so, if min doesn't share the viewing with elayne and aviendha in advance, then she will have to join the relationship naturally, by spending time with and getting to know all 3 parties, rather than by telling them they have to let her in because Fate Said So. i see space for all 4 of them to be in the same place together during season 4, while avirandlayne is brewing but min is still just a friend, so that would be a great time for min to bond with them all prior to getting with rand (and maybe as a result, rand develops a crush on her and confesses it to elayne and aviendha, who are happy to give him permission because they already know and like min; alternately, rand has an obvious crush on min but is totally oblivious about it, so elayne and aviendha tease him like "if there is...............anyone else you're interested in.............maybe a certain bartender............you can totally go for it" and rand is adorably baffled as to why they believe he has a crush on min, and then in season 5 he finally Realizes).

and like, wouldn't it be so cute if after the four of them are in a committed polycule, min finally says "hey, i actually had a viewing ages ago that this would happen, but i didn't want to tell you guys and make you feel pressured to love each other" and they all have a good laugh about it together? that would be SO cute!

so, overall, the seeds of a wonderful polycule are there in the books, and the show doesn't have to make a TON of tweaks to help it live up to its best potential! i'm really excited to see what they do with it because it's such a unique romance storyline and one of my favorite aspects of the series, it just needs the Updating For 2020s touch (and the Updating To Reflect The Way Real Human Adults Behave And Communicate With Each Other touch) that the show has so far excelled at applying.

[pink-apollo]

saw ur cod reqs were open and I was maybe wondering some soem hcs or a drabble or smthn for a fem reader in a polycule with Kreuger and Minotaur?

I love them both so much!

This is just👌 COMPLETE OPPOSITES. But it works. I apologize if this seems poorly written, it has been a very long time I have written for maxim which if I do say so, needs so much more love. Very underrated operator.

Kreuger and Minotaur poly relationship headcanons

🖤Just to put it bluntly, Sebastian is the Doberman and maxim is the golden retriever. Sebastian is always alert and intimidating while maxim is very happy and go with the flow

🖤Kreuger is a more so reserved partner while Minotaur is very out there. However, the both have their unique ways of showing they love you and in fact get along surprisingly well!! There are never any arguments, fights, and if there ever is a “disagreement” they go separate ways for a as long as they both need before coming to find and cuddle you as they both accept and move on from their dispute

🖤Minotaur always cook breakfast for everyone since he tends to be the first one awake. Does the cliche bed in breakfast for everyone. Always makes your favorite dish and makes sure to it looks perfect. Has honestly thought about being a baker because of the joy he finds in cooking

(Bear Minotaur with a heart apron😭😭)

🖤Kreuger tends to dinner time. Always makes outstanding dishes and makes sure everyone has had enough. Sometimes goes a little overboard so that you and Maxim have food for tomorrow

🖤Maxim loves to wind down at nighttime, has a routine that he follows. Loves a good cup of his favorite tea and a book! Will be more than happy to read to you and kreuger when cuddling in bed. Always loves to share the things he reads and now makes extra tea because of you guys stealing his. He just makes the best tea

🖤Kreuger and maxim tend to hold your hands when in public. They tend to be very protective of you and don’t tolerate rouge men who have their eyes linger onto you. Oddly enough are not the jealous type, both know you love them deeply and will always come to them so they see no reason to be overly protective unless need be

🖤Lots of camping trips!! Between the two of them they tend to take up a lot of room so a tent will simply not due😅 Especially when it comes to being very needy and whiney. They need something…stable if you will

🖤Although when it comes to you and pleasin you, they can be very jealous and demanding if one is getting more attention than the other. Sebastian can become very grumpy despite being very calm. Doesn’t like how maxim has more time with you than all 3 of you together

🖤It’s a fun little competitive game to them of who can be your main priority while fucking you senseless. Which both do a very good job of. Though they try to out do the other cause you to be in bed rest for a couple days

🖤Cuddle pile unlike any other. It usually flips between you and maxim being in the middle, Sebastian prefers to be on the side where he can see the door just for security

🖤Although there is a very slim chance where he craves to be in the middle and coddled by the two of you. Loves to have your fingers run through his hair while maxim is nuzzled behind him humming quietly

[monbons]

WIP Wednesday

Thanks for the tag @thewholelemon! Your snippet looks hilarious!!! I need more details (Baz, you’re a killjoy!)

Today's post is dedicated to @cutestkilla, who is determined to figure out all my secrets when it comes to The Eternal Life of Baz Pitch. So here is a DELUGE of clues to put up on your murder wall and connect with pins and string. MWAHAHA!

A fabulous playlist. You know what goes well with the angst buffet I'm serving up on AO3? An epic soundtrack. Do the songs match up to specific chapters? Do the lyrics mean anything? Is it just vibes? Who knows. Enjoy. (Spotify Link)

Tidbits from my Dead Darlings doc. No spoilers here. All tidbits are from an entire subplot that I cut very early and all names and identifying details have been redacted.

Apparently, such were the times in which [redacted] was living. People kept all manner of useless things in their homes. Shelves with books they didn’t read. Baskets whose sole purpose was to display knick-knacks. And, apparently, time pieces that did not actually keep time.

Or this little bit of dialogue:

“[Redacted]! How can you not know this?!” [Redacted does a highly specific motion I cannot include]. [Redacted] groans. “[Redacted pet name that should not be a pet name but for some reason is and must also be scratched], what am I going to do with you?” “Love me anyway, I imagine.” [Everything after this point definitely needs to be redacted...]

3. A couple beta comments from @thewholelemon. Have I mentioned she's the best beta in the world? Seriously, all the kudos for this fic should be sent directly to Jenny.

happy kitten or grumpy kitten? lol

HORRIFYING. like something out of a scary movie.

LOL braden!!! polycule!!! this is so funny!

Side note: fuck this guy

Have fun unraveling that knot of nonsense, Dre. [Cackles like the dark and disappears in a cloud of smoke.]

For everyone else, if you got this far, thank you. Have a little chapter 3 snippet under the cut, this time featuring current Baz.

Baz could make this difficult. He could wait for the boy to hit on him some more. To ask him his name or if he’d like to have dinner. But, Baz is feeling rather lonely after his unsuccessful hunt for a one-night stand yesterday and this boy can be good enough. So, he takes a step closer and lifts the boy’s chin with a careful finger instead. The boy’s eyes meet his immediately, which is precisely what Baz wanted. The whole scene sets off another round of barking from the tiny dog. “Take me home with you,” Baz whispers.

Hellos and high-fives. Tag, you're it.

@thewholelemon, @roomwithanopenfire, @noblecorgi, @you-remind-me-of-the-babe, @youarenevertooold, @cutestkilla, @bookish-bogwitch, @emeryhall, @valeffelees, @beastmonstertitan, @raenestee, @arthurkko, @iamamythologicalcreature, @hushed-chorus, @rimeswithpurple, @aristocratic-otter, @cattocavo, @larkral, @drowninginships, @artsyunderstudy, @whatevertheweather, @brilla-brilla-estrellita, @comesitintheclover, @shrekgogurt

[winterisol]

MotoGP riders sorted into Hogwart Houses (cuz I'm a nerd)

Lets be honest, most of these men are realistically gryffindors or slytherins, cuz they have the pride, courage, ego and sheer stupidity of both houses. But anyways I think this is more about vibes than personality

VR46 Academy:

Pecco = Gryffindor This was pretty easy 'cause he has the gryffindor "I'm always correct" and the "no nonsense unless I cause it" demenor. I think he could also work in slytherin, but idk, he doesn't have the sleaziness to back it up. I also can't see him (at least as a kid) having the confidence to strut around say things like "my father will hear about this!"

Bezz = Slytherin I know, I know he's everyone's soft boy, but I also 1000% see a young Bezz going up to people who wrong him and yell "My father will hear about this!" except he's referring to Valentino and he secretly cries in a far corner of the Slytherin common room at night. He also has the ambition and kinda blind cultish following that most slytherins have.

Luca = Ravenclaw We need someone with brain cells here, and Luca has the no nonsense we must overthink everything type of vibe. Like I can just see him pouring over books at 5 AM before breakfast in preparation for classes. He also would never procrastination, every essay, or assignment completed the day it was assigned.

Franky = Gryffindor Doesn't have the same big presence I would usually associate with Gryffindors but Idk when look at his time in Yamaha I think he has the self-belief and confidence. He also feels like a fighter, like he would never willing start a fight, but once the fighting starts he is not one to back down.

Cele = Hufflepuff He is Bezz's emotional support Hufflepuff. Cele is just so incredibly loyal and he radiates the Hufflepuff soft boy energy. I can just see him in the sunny yellow (it would compliment his blue so well). The scenes just write itself, Bezz and Cele arms linked walking through the snow in Hogsmeade in their respective house scarves.

The other Italians

Diggia = Gryffindor This is not even a question, this man just oozes the ego and confidence of a Gryffindor. I can see him as the star player of the Quidditch team, every day is a new girl (Kinda like young Sirius Black) until he lays his eyes on the most beautiful man ever, Enea Bastianini. And after short (year long) gay panic, Diggia just can't leave Enea alone, and flirts with him until Enea finally folds and agrees to go on a date with Diggia over winter break in seventh year.

Enea = Slytherin I wanted to put him in Hufflepuff so badly, cuz he's my little soft boy. But I gotta match his vibe, and he is literally called "The Beast" on track. So yeah, I could see him as a quiet, but academically ambitious Slytherin. He just quietly goes about Hogwarts, attending his classes and getting top marks in all of them, until Diggia just barges into his life, flirting with him, and never leaving him alone.

Marquez Brothers

Marc = Gryffindor I think Marc could go either Gryffindor or Slytherin, but with his "all in" and comeback story right now it think it would be crime not to put him in Gryffindor. The confidence, the "I don't give a fuck about anyone", "Yeah I'm great what about it" attitude is just so HIM. It would also make his dynamic with Rossi (He's 100% a slytherin I will not accept anything else) interesting.

Alex = Gryffindor Alex is more of a Gryffindor because doesn't want to be separate to Marc than anything else. I think if it wasn't for Marc, Alex would have been in Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff. Hufflepuff because he's my soft boy, but Ravenclaw because I feel like Alex is curious. I could totally see him wanting to invent or discover new things (IRL he did want to pursue engineering which is basically that). But alas the Marquez brothers are a little too co-dependent to put them in different houses.

Other riders (+ Pedrenzo cuz why not)

Aleix = Slytherin He has an evil gay twink polycule, if that isn't slytherin cult behavior idk what is.

Jorge = Slytherin He is the bellatrix lestrange to this gay twink polycule. And he is a snake. no questions? good, onto the next.

Pedro Acosta = Hufflepuff I can see him in the hufflepuff yellow, also while I do think he'd be a part of the polycule, I can't see him in Slytherin. I think the yellow of Huffflepuff just suits him, also he's a grandma's boy, so of course he must go to my favorite house.

Dani = Ravenclaw His disinterest in drama and just doing his job is so Ravenclaw coded. Like people are fighting in the library and he's sat unbothered finishing his advanced potions essay.

Jorge = Slytherin He has the cunning nature, and desire for attention that most Slytherins seem to have. It would also play into any dynamic between Yorg and Vale, maybe a power struggle to be the top dog in Slytherin. He also gives pureblood wizard. I can imagine Dani (I can see him as a half-blood) and Jorge later in life going into the muggle part of London and Jorge is dressed ridiculously cuz he doesn't understand how muggles dress.

[blazethecheeto]

ATLAS PARADOX RAMBLING

dude this book. i need to talk. about it. im going insane.

everyone who hasn't read it, PLEASE DO!!! it's a dark academia book about a bunch of gay silly magic people that join a society and try to kill each other. there's time travel, a big ass polycule, aesthetic scenes, the prettiest writing style in the world, science, philosophy, and fucked family. (opposite of found family).

(extremely chaotic unorganized long rant below, with spoilers. click at your own risk)

FIRST OF ALL WHY WAS THIS SO MUCH BETTER THAN THE FIRST ONE?!!?!?

i had to power through the first one, it felt long, and unnecessary and like trekking through a JUNGLE with the thickest and most intricate ecosystem that i had to peel back and unravel for hours and hours. only to like move the plot by an inch.

BUT THIS. olivie blake found her footing because this was so good. i am aware the reviews hate on this book and some people don't like it, but personally i adore it and it's really well written.

CHARACTERS

bro they all had such wonderful voices, like they were distinct and unique from each other but not drastically, noticeably different I NEED TO LEARN FROM THIS. six of crows and the atlas six do multi povs so well <3 its like this book was made for me, each character was perfect and incredible and gay and silly and-

reina. love of my life. i look forward to all her povs because the plants are so silly and she's the best character. i said it. she's canon asexual now too YEES. i needed more of her because she was barely in the first one, and they DELIVERED. the juicy plot with her 'god complex' (ily callum) and her feelings getting hurt and learning she actually is lonely and wants friends? she's so wanda maximoff. next book better have her opening up and learning to love people or i riot (and also her killing people and being the badass she is)

parisa always my fave too, i do wish her character wasn't always talking about sex or romance, there were some great moments in this book where she showed off her telepathy powers (the prince in the tower!!) it was awesome. i'm glad they acknowledged that side of her with reina, (oh my god i ship them so much wait till i rant about them-) but dude i still HATE DALTON. SO MUCH. OH MY GOD. every time it's her pov i dread seeing dalton, i wish she could give that up. generic white men should die.

CALLUM. whatever turned him from complex, daunting, and a psychopath last book to janus from sanders sides this book- beautiful choice. he's literally the one sassy wine-sipping gay aunt that feels nothing and everything at once, also extremely mentally ill and depressed. he's SO FUNNY. his povs are fucking hilarious to read, and he quickly became one of my faves bc of how complex he is. i'm not smart enough to decipher and psychoanalyze him but god i LOVE CHARACTERS LIKE THIS.

i don't know what happened but nico is literally one of my faves now too, he's so silly and sweet and kind and i loved his relationships with everyone this book. like him trying to murder tristan in multiple different ways oml. he's my bbg. tristan was hit or miss for me, i did find him interesting but he's not my favourite. doesn't mean i hate him, he's so very british, i feel it radiating off the page. libby my queen my icon, her dream povs were so trippy i loved it- so so realistic to a real dream, that was the most surprising and unique part. also my bisexual queen seducing belen??

i did not like ezra and atlas was a little iffy here and there but tbh the cast was so well rounded and interesting and unique but paralleled each other so well?? THE RELATIONSHIPS. I DONT THINK ANY BOOK HAS THIS INTRICATE WEB-LIKE RELATIONSHIPS WITH EACH OTHER. they're one big polycule.

RELATIONSHIPS

nico and libby <3 i love them so much as siblings/queerplatonic partners. i don't ship them romantically, because i LOVE how they subverted the eye-rolling predictable ' YA academic rivals enemies to lovers' trope. when i started TAS, i immediately thought they were gonna get together and assumed the worst. but no, they still had the banter and importance in their relationship but without the romance? instead both of them were gay af. it's beautiful. i love subverting tropes so much. they're each other's 'other half' and they're hilarious together.

NICO AND TRISTAN. they were such a highlight this book, it was unexpected but so funny. nico trying to murder tristan and their little talks because 'they're not friends...just coworkers' yeah right, the best friendships start with creatively murdering each other. tristan being droll and chill af, and then nico bouncing off the walls my adhd king.

reina and nico broke me?? like that one chapter where they sparred and caught up with each other and reina was guarding her hurt feelings. DUDE THAT KILLED ME. made me stare at the ceiling for a good minute. their friendship is everything to me, they contrast each other so well. she deserves to be treated better- when they had that projection chapter and she saw that nico downplayed her skills...like she was good, but not good enough for him to care about her. AGGHGH.

REINA AND PARISA. NOW THIS. THIS HOOKED ME INTO THE BOOK. i ship them so bad guys. they parallel each other and are both hot and enemies to lovers and wlw slow burn and- look. reina is asexual, therefore the only person to truly see and understand parisa for who she is, and not be influenced by her body. like that one projection. she can help parisa understand HERSELF and who she is past her sexual desirability. how to love someone again. romantically. then, on the flip side, parisa can help reina see and understand OTHERS. reina only sees people as one trait, cut and dry- without any of the complex feelings. parisa is a telepath, she knows how to read others. THEY CAN BOTH HELP EACH OTHER AND LOVE EACH OTHER IN WAYS THEY NEVER COULD HAVE OMFDADJFLSKJADFL- also reina pinned her against a wall and they want to kill each other and every time they interact i scream into my pillow-

-

'You can't love anyone right?"

"I've met very few people worth loving."

-

*throws myself off a building*

now we just gotta play the familiar game "IS IT DELUSION OR IS IT JUST SLOW BURN" and find out whether their insane chemistry pays off in book 3.

the nico parisa scene was actually sweet ngl, even though i don't ship them. the whole callum and tristan thing was so bitter exes situationship coded and i ate every second up. especially that last conversation. AND OFC. GIDEON AND NICO?!!! AAAAA THEY WERE SO CUTE THEY'RE ENDGAME I SCREAMED WHEN THEY KISSED DUDE THEYRE SO-

PLOT

now for the actual plot. this book has so many interesting subjects and philosophies and debates i'm not smart enough for this. but past all the aesthetic glamour, it's science, time travel, dreams, multiverses, fate, reality, and the complexities of the human mind. and my god it's fascinating as fuck.

do i have any idea what they do in this society?? NO. am i entertained? YES. especially that whole explosion paradox to bring libby back to the future. the whole powering the connections via aurora borealis? the whole debate about being gods? i love it. i love it.

alright im so sorry for that rant, i gotta go now but DUDE I LOVE THIS BOOK NO MATTER HOW WEIRD IT WAS

[sophaeros]

i would kill my first born for your take on a julian/fab fic just saying

LMAOO well u might regret that depending on how sad it gets.....my pet characterisation of them that im semi-serious about is that fab has an unrequited crush on julian, who's in love with albert but thinks albert doesnt love him back. theres kind of a sliding scale of soap opera-ness in terms of where you can go from here my mutuals and i cooked up this hysterical plot w a whole soup of unrequited loves..fab knowing full well that julian's only in bed with him because he wants albert but doesn't think he can have him and being too helplessly in love to refuse his advances. julian..kind of knows this. but neither of them are going to stop. <3 nick's got his own unrequited crush on fab going on at the side. it's hilarious.

there's another similar wip where albert and julian are in a situationship and albert notices that fab has a crush on julian and blah blah julian hooks up w fab then all three of them are forced to confront their feelings and get together.

fab to me is a big fucking romantic who, especially when he was younger, was a little afraid of overstepping and taking more than he was given. he'll know how he feels and worry too much to be able to do something about it. he's just happy for anything they'll give or do to him. (this little hint of fab's apparent self esteem or identity issues is very interesting to me..😁)

ohh and i'm very fond of the thought of teenaged fab/julian/nick because of this anecdote from the meet me in the bathroom book (apparently) about fab wanting to be friends with julian and nikolai so bad he lied and said he could play the drums. it's nikolai in the anecdote but i was talking about this with my friend who lovess nick so we changed it to nick for fun HAJFJWBD. (although in the meet me in the bathroom book fab says he was always chasing after julian and nick at school so it still works!! ^-^) fab/julian/nikolai though......woozy emoji. we'll get to that permutation eventually im sure. for now..the thought of fab lying in their laps with julian absentmindedly petting through his hair while julian and nick bicker about their songs. isn't that just so special.

i'm afraid i don't really have anything fab/jules exclusive fab's always in a polycule. he just deserves all the love and kisses ever one person isn't enough he needs to be smothered in them!!!! he's their resident pet dog. to me. <3