functionalasfuck
functionalasfuck
Not A Disaster💖
4K posts
she/her/hers functional adult
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
functionalasfuck · 1 day ago
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functionalasfuck · 1 day ago
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Oh how I love you modern Merlin as a medieval history professor. I can just imagine his students talking about him. "His lectures are great, he talks about it like he was actually there."
"Do NOT bring up Arthuriana he WILL go on an hour long rant and you WILL miss your last train home."
"He has this weird academic beef with Geoffrey Chaucer?!"
"His office reeks of herbs, lord knows what he puts in his morning tea."
"Dude's been teaching here for like 30 years and he still somehow looks 22."
"I swear to you, I saw his eyes turn gold one time during a lecture."
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functionalasfuck · 1 day ago
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BBC Merlin AU where Kilgharrah doesn’t fucking exist and the prophecy is never once uttered.
Can you imagine how much better the show would be?
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functionalasfuck · 2 days ago
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Being the only guy who works in a beauty store is fucking hilarious sometimes. Im the only one who can sell our shitty beard shampoo and a not insignificant amount of our customers think im untrustworthy. According to my coworkers i use every mens product we have so they can get dudes to buy a shaving cream. Trying to explain to people that theres no difference between "men's" and "women's" products is like talking to a brick wall. Ive had multiple women get angry with me for sampling them out one of our "men's" moisturizers when they specifically said they wanted a mattifying one to control oil and that's the best one we have for those two things. I still think about the guy who came in asking if we had "masks for men." I contemplate ending it all every time someone returns a completely unused product that they absolutely refuse to try just because it either says or doesnt say "for men" on it. 90% of the time its the perfect product for them. I had a lady who was willing to buy a worse product for her needs that was more expensive just so it wouldnt say it was for men. Are you ever tired? Are you ever exhausted? These are the same kinds of people who say that im the one whos obsessed with gendering everything because im trans.
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functionalasfuck · 2 days ago
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Créditos: Judit Martínez
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functionalasfuck · 2 days ago
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How deep does the hole go?
Art by Penzilla
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functionalasfuck · 2 days ago
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mr sandman was playing in this gas station and the cashier and i both sang “man me a sand” at the same fucking time without hesitation
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functionalasfuck · 2 days ago
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every time I do a web search, right at the top I have AI info dumping on me
just give me the top result please
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functionalasfuck · 2 days ago
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STOP SPEEDRUNNING MY TOWER YOU INGRATES
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functionalasfuck · 2 days ago
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functionalasfuck · 2 days ago
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Ok, this house is weird. Firstly, I was wondering what was up w/the garage door.
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Turns out it's a mirror. Built in 1955 in Palm Springs, CA, it's been remodeled and you must see the choices. 3bds, 3ba, 2,319 sq ft, $1,499,999.
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Check out the floor, like a mass murder scene.
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Conversation pit decorated with a sofa and tables. Was this once a hot tub?
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The stains continue throughout the kitchen.
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Two lone side chairs in a corner.
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Gray cement walls in the kitchen.
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Snacks for the buyers?
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Looking out toward the pool from the pit.
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Cement dining table. I think it's built-in. It also appears to have a convenient electrical outlet.
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It's such a huge space to fill. The sun is casting shadows, but it looks like there are steps here.
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The glass wall opens to the pool.
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There's a shower room here, but it's open. At least the shower & toilet are behind a wall.
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The bedrooms and baths have floors that look watercolor stained. Interesting how they put the bed partly under the arch.
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The bed from behind. Is that a fridge?
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The ensuite is big, but so sparse and spread out. I would've expected a sink under the neon mirror. This is so ugly.
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The secondary bedroom is plain and has floating nightstands installed.
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The primary bedroom has folding doors to the patio.
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Out by the pool, it looks like they repainted the statues pink and black, themselves. The lamp is broken.
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Matching statues.
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Nice fruit tree.
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Fancy ceiling lights in the garage.
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.28 acre lot.
https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/2275-E-Belding-Dr-Palm-Springs-CA-92262/18019319_zpid/
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functionalasfuck · 2 days ago
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For no reason here is a library story
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functionalasfuck · 2 days ago
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Huge thanks to Richard of the Order of the Blade for throwing me around!
(If you’re in the UK, consider checking them out! The order are a combat school with a really fun and welcoming ethos)
And as always, more bows, swords, and nonesense on Patreon
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functionalasfuck · 2 days ago
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I think Tumblr will love this
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functionalasfuck · 2 days ago
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functionalasfuck · 2 days ago
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my creative writing prof also HATES fantasy. as in if she asks for an example of symbolism in a book, and you give something from a fantasy novel, she’ll ask for an example from a “non-commercial book” instead.
I dunno man, people can have preferences, but the second you discount the artistic merit of sci fi and fantasy I stop taking your opinion seriously. and there’s such a big culture in Canada of only valuing literary fiction, to the point where one of our biggest authors, Margaret Atwood, refused for a while to classify her books as sci fi or fantasy. she said they were “speculative fiction”, which is entirely separate and very highbrow (sarcasm).
and I could go on about how Octavia Butler and Ursula Le Guin wrote books every bit as intellectual (and honestly, even more so) than their literary counterparts, but I am also an enjoyer of schlock!! I think there’s artistic merit in animorphs, and in isekais where a japanese schoolgirl reincarnates into a magical spider who has to level up like it’s a video game! it’s like with everything, you can’t draw a clean line that separates ‘art’ from ‘non-art’ or even ‘lesser art’, and pretending you can do so just makes you look ignorant and goofy. in my opinion.
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functionalasfuck · 2 days ago
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some carrie fisher tweets to brighten your day
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