#i must play the funny fantasy game

[beetle-beep]

i miss my wives <-(their old hyperfixation came back and overshadowed the current one)

[txicroak]

almost got tempted by lyney going all the way to 82 pity before coming back to my senses and remembering that neuvillette and his weapon is the priority here

[wispstalk]

it's funny having a pathological obsession with elder scrolls bc people make a lot of reasonable but incorrect assumptions when they discover my hobby. "you must really like video games!" I don't. "well have you played dragon age/baldurs gate/other fantasy game?" no and I never will. "what about fallout, the game mechanics are so similar!" nope. don't like it.

[meanbossart]

what would have to go differently in DU Drows story for him to take the bhaalist route? would it be a split second decision in the temple or something he’d have to slowly accept over the course of the game?

EDIT: I slightly misread the question, the answer still holds but the first line is about what has to be done for him to turn AGAINST Bhaal.

Both mechanically and story-wise, it's pretty simple. He just has to be taken into the group kicking and screaming 🤷‍♂️

DU drow rejects Bhaal because he finds the world to be fun, he finds the people in it to be interesting and strange and he doesn't see any benefit to getting rid of it. Wyll may get on his nerves but he wants so badly to see the day where he snaps and stands up for himself, Halsin is annoying but boy have him and Astarion had a riot making fun of him behind his back, him and Jaheira get on each other's nerves for fun and Minsc is a living fascination - not to mention the endless NPCs that provide a moment's entertainment. Yes, Shadowheart sparing the Nightsong and Astarion's lifestory played a big part in his choices, but I think a base had to be set first, otherwise he could have very easily twisted the lesson's he learned from them into something that fit the pro-Bhaal narrative. He doesn't want to kill the world, the world is hysterical to him.

Also, BG3 seems to have a theme about showing compassion and extending empathy even to people who don't deserve it. A lot of its characters are the opposite of nice and personable throughout the vast majority of the game, and what you end up clinging to are glimpses of humanity that they try to hide from you - Shadowheart is objectively exhausting to be around, Lae'zel is literally and figuratively a social alien, Astarion is Astarion and realistically we would have all blasted him into the horizon team-rocket-style if he wasn't funny. I hated all three of these characters going into the game and now they own my balls, because they ultimately charmed me with something or other despite their flaws.

(They are also all hot, to be fair, but this is a fantasy video game so what'reyougonnado. Though personally none of them are my type.)

Sorry about the tangent, but I think that gets my point across well; DU drow needs to be given the benefit of the doubt for absolutely no good reason, as long as that happens, he would have no motivation in the slightest to turn to Bhaal. Even if romanced, a socially ostracized DU drow could not be persuaded to turn away from his father.

In the gameplay, this would translate to the MC encouraging him to see the silver-lining in things, either by showing kindness and understanding or emphasizing the entertaining moments they've provided you with; also, playing along to his mean-streaked humor instead of reprehending him for not always having a kind thing to say about everybody. You have to either see the best in him, or turn people into a joke instead of a threat. Done that, he would move into Act 3 without any inclination to take Bhaals's gift.

On the flipside, I think a romanced partner could persuade a "good" DU drow to consider it, though. By valuing his strength and potential-influence instead of his personality, he would arrive at the conclusion that to keep you, he must continue to pursue power, which would ultimately land you in the place Astarion ends up in his Bhaalist AU.

[genericpuff]

i find it funny that one of rachel’s drawings of herself in the afterword that just went up is just fully persephone. is that something she does a lot?

Alright so I've been making it a general rule for myself to like, not harp on Rachel in any way outside of LO as much because frankly the horse is dead now and there's not much left to say outside of what can be analyzed in hindsight. I think despite everything I have to say about her and her work, she still deserves to get away from this nonsense and I don't wanna spend eternity hovering over her shoulder.

But the afterword was posted within the LO series and is clearly meant for readers of LO in the functioning of being an afterword so let's just call it fair game LOL

I will say, on the whole, it does feel very honest and sentimental and I can respect Rachel for taking the time to write out and illustrate her afterword in a way that was personal to both her and her fans. I can understand why she went at it from the angle that she did and I'm not gonna fault her for that.

But there's also something that feels deeply... disingenuous about her approach right from the starting gun. I will say, before I continue, that I'm well aware I am biased towards Rachel as a creator, and I fully acknowledge that I could very well be reading too much into things. This is just my opinion, take it with mountains of salt.

I can get looking back on your own childhood, your past self, whatever, and going "see! it all got better!" because sure! For a lot of creators like Rachel, it must be wild to look back on where they came from and there's a lot of sentimentality on expressing that through an afterword like this where she reflects on where she came from. Though she STILL didn't acknowledge her other comics outside of LO, I can understand if she wants to leave those skeletons in the closet.

But I feel like her drawing herself as a child who's being given an Eisner by her adult self and all that just feels like some gross attempt to disarm any criticism of her because "don't make fun of me, I'm just a sad lonely baby girl!"

She's not a child. Child Rachel didn't grossly misappropriate Greek myth into their own self-indulged vanity project. Child Rachel didn't claim herself a folklorist of a culture's works only to bastardize them completely. Child Rachel didn't create a hostile environment within her fanbase by bullying anyone who she perceived as a threat, sneaking into critical spaces to try and cause trouble, and writing her own clapbacks into her comic. Child Rachel didn't claim to be challenging misogyny and purity culture only to reinforce misogyny and purity culture through her own self-insert baby-virgin-gets-rescued-by-rich-tycoon power fantasy that regularly glorified abuse towards women and the lower class.

30-almost-40-year-old Rachel did though.

At best it comes across as really cringe sentimentality from a Greek-weeb (heh, greeboo) and goes to show how much Rachel inserted herself into Greek myth without ever absorbing its messages or cultural contexts, it was all about her and her feelings as a sad New Zealand girl with dyslexia who thought Persephone's story was about another sad girl being rescued from her "horrible childhood".

At worst it's an active attempt to play on people's heartstrings by drawing herself as a child who people will naturally not want to criticize. I don't want to assume she's doing it intentionally, I really don't want to leave her afterword on a bad foot, as I can definitely understand as both a creator and a person who struggled with learning disabilities in their own childhood how and why she wants to pay homage to her past and where she came from... but let's just say, as someone who's also gotten way too "lost in the sauce" concerning personal self-reflective projects, I think there's a lot to say about how this confirms that Rachel made LO entirely for herself, about herself, without any actual intention to respect the original myths, because she never truly separated them from herself when she was a child. And, in my humble opinion as someone who has Been There with the self-insert OC's and self-reflective angsty plotlines, I can fully attest to the fact that that's not fucking healthy. Even with personal projects, you NEED to learn to get your head out of the sauce, you NEED to learn to objectively separate yourself from the narrative so the story doesn't fall apart under your own hubris and ego, you NEED to learn to draw a line if you want to have any sort of identity as a human being outside of what you make for people. And that's with just normal original stories, this was a story based on Greek myth which doesn't belong to her.

And this goes for a lot of the things she's said and done in the past, so much of her own "sources" even are tethered to things that she read / watched in her childhood and only vaguely remembers, as if she never mentally left her childhood at all, which just... if the point was to highlight her past and the traumas she went through and how they contributed to her present, an Eisner isn't going to validate those experiences. And drawing attention to her past through the lens of her childhood self absolutely 100% does not absolve her of the negative effect her work has had on the modern Greek myth zeitgeist nor the things she's said and done as a 38 year old woman who should absolutely know better.

The community she entered and took from will forever remain changed by her influence and taking, in many ways not for the better. She has the privilege of walking away and never having to think about it again, with all the awards and accolades that were bought for her, the bravado that she built around being a "folklorist" with zero credentials, and the platform she was given over many other creators struggling to even be heard.

That "place" she claims to have now was built entirely on inserting herself into another culture's works and doing nothing but taking, taking, taking, while offering nothing in return but vanity and lip service. That "place" was paid for and brought to you by Webtoons.

[ronance4everbrainrot]

Random Descendants Incorrect quotes

(with ships)

Queen of Hearts: Why are you drinking, Red?

Red: I don’t drink anymore, so don’t start with that.

Queen of Heart, holding an empty water bottle: So why was this under your bed?

Red: WE NEED WATER TO LIVE!

Queen of Hearts: NOT IN MY DAMN HOUSE!

(such a great mother)

---

Red: If a demon possessed me, I’d just be like, “Okay, take it from here, good luck man.”

(fr)

---

Dizzy: Truth or dare?

Chloe: Truth!

Dizzy : Do you-

Red: I dare you to kiss me.

Chloe: *kisses Red*

Dizzy, to Celia: They said “truth”, right?

(pretty sure it was a dare 👀)

---

Chloe: So you like cats?

Red: Yeah.

Chloe: *tries to impress them by slowly pushing a glass off the table*

(Chloe is jealous of Earl getting Red's attention. Context here)

---

Celia: Dumbest scar stories, go!

Maddox: I burned my tongue once drinking tea.

Dizzy: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and it burned.

Chloe: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade.

Chad: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it in my hand and I got a really bad burn.

Red: I have emotional scars.

(that's Chad in college)

---

Ben: Hey, what have you two been up to?

Carlos: We were helping Evie write their vows, but they kicked us out because Jay was making inappropriate suggestions.

Jay: How is "Mal, I love your sweet ass” inappropriate?

(why kick Carlos out tho 😪)

---

Uma: Welcome to Fucking Applebees, do you want apples or bees?

Mal: Bees?

Uma: THEY HAVE SELECTED THE BEES!

Mal: Wait-

*Harry approaches, shaking a jar of bees menacingly*

(yeah. Ouch)

---

Mal, gardening: Hey, can you bring me the hoe?

Jay: Yeah, sure.

*A few minutes later*

Jay: Here you go.

Mal:

Jay:

Ben: Why am I here?

(damn-)

---

Merlin: Fay, you'll be working with Maleficent and Hades.

Fay: Alright! My fantasy threesome!

Everyone else: *blank stares*

Fay: ...Of people on a team.

(I understand lol)

---

Morgie: *Takes a sip of milk and gags*

Morgie: Oh my god, is this expired?

Morgie: *Takes another sip of milk*

(Morgie why are you so relatable)

---

Mal: I don't know how to tell you this, but... I love you.

Ben: That's great, Mal. Especially considering the fact we've been married for 6 fucking years.

(Canon)

---

*Bridget sneezes*

Ella: Bridget, are you sick? Here, let me wrap you in a blanket and hand-feed you some warm soup while singing you a lullaby!

*Charming sneezes*

Ella: Oh my god. Shut the hell up.

(Yuh)

---

Bridget: I eat cheerios because they’re heart healthy.

Bridget: And my heart has been severely damaged, so Ella, if you’re out there—

(This makes me imagine that Bridget confessed her feelings to Ella at Castlecoming, Ella took it well but doesn't feel the same and also avoids Bridget while at the dance. Bridget was heartbroken but accepted it, then she got turned into a monster. Ella has been avoiding her and didn't go to help. I don't know how feelings work lol. You make it make sense)

---

Chloe: My future partner must be brave, strong, intelligent, successful and organized.

Red: *steps on a caterpillar and proceeds to drop to their knees and sob while apologizing profusely*

Chloe: That one. I want that one.

(let's hope the caterpillar wasn't smoking)

---

Mal: Do you always have to attack me with your words?

Audrey: Would you prefer me to use a brick?

(oop)

---

*The Squad is on the bus, and a child is crying*

Uliana: *rolls eyes to the sky*

Bridget: *makes funny faces to get them to stop*

Hades: *puts their earphones on at 100% volume*

Hook: *doesn't mind, doesn't bother*

Morgie: *is the reason they're crying*

Maleficent: *enjoys in silence*

(Morgie accidentally scared the child)

---

*when a child starts crying in public*

Charming: *tries to make the child laugh*

Tiana: *tries to play a game with the child to make them calm down*

Fay: *gives detailed instructions to the parents*

Ella: *ignores the child*

Jaladdin: *is the reason why the child is crying*

(I'm the baby. And that reason is valid)

---

Fay, entering Maleficent room: Hades did it again.

Maleficent: Peace disturbance?

Fay: What no-

Maleficent: Arson..?

Fay: NO, JESUS CHRIST, HOW MANY-

Maleficent: uh....Attempted murder?

Fay: NO, THEY ATE ALL THE FOOD IN THE FRIDGE, BUT WHAT THE FU-

(Yeah they live together. So what?)

---

Fay: Can I bother you for a second?

Hades: You're always bothering me, but go ahead.

(Yeh. Basically)

---

The end of the beginning.

I'm tired so I shall sleep 😪.

I wanted to add more but I shall post it now already.

Ok byeee

[makapatag]

Tactical Combat, Violence Dice and Missing Your Attacks in Gubat Banwa

In this post I talk about game feel and decision points when it comes to the "To-Hit Roll" and the "Damage Roll" in relation to Gubat Banwa's design, the Violence Die.

Let's lay down some groundwork: this post assumes that the reader is familiar and has played with the D&D style of wargame combat common nowadays in TTRPGs, brought about no doubt by the market dominance of a game like D&D. It situates its arguments within that context, because much of new-school design makes these things mostly non-problems. (See: the paradigmatic shift required to play a Powered by the Apocalypse game, that completely changes how combat mechanics are interpreted).

With that done, let's specify even more: D&D 5e and 4e are the forerunners of this kind of game--the tactical grid game that prefers a battlemat. 5e's absolute dominance means that there's a 90% chance that you have played the kind of combat I'll be referring to in this post. The one where you roll a d20, add the relevant modifiers, and try to roll equal to or higher than a Target Number to actually hit. Then when you do hit, you roll dice to deal damage. This has been the way of things since OD&D, and has been a staple of many TTRPG combat systems. It's easy to grasp, and has behemoth cultural momentum. Each 1 on a d20 is a 5% chance, so you can essentially do a d100 with smaller increments and thus easier math (smaller numbers are easier to math than larger numbers, generally).

This is how LANCER works, this is how ICON works, this is how SHADOW OF THE DEMON LORD works, this is how TRESPASSER works, this is how WYRDWOOD WAND works, this is how VALIANT QUEST works, etc. etc. It's a tried and true formula, every D&D player has a d20, it's emblematic of the hobby.

There's been a lot more critical discussion lately on D&D's conventions, especially due to the OGL. Many past D&D only people are branching out of the bubble and into the rest of the TTRPG hobby. It's not a new phenomenon--it's happened before. Back in the 2010s, when Apocalypse World came out while D&D was in its 4th Edition, grappling with Pathfinder. Grappling with its stringent GSL License (funny how circular this all is).

Anyway, all of that is just to put in the groundwork. My problem with D&D Violence (particularly, of the 3e, 4e, and 5e version) is that it's a violence that arises from "default fantasy". Default Fantasy is what comes to mind when you say fantasy: dragons, kings, medieval castles, knights, goblins, trolls. It's that fantasy cultivated by people who's played D&D and thus informs D&D. There is much to be said about the majority of this being an American Samsaric Cycle, and it being tied to the greater commodification agenda of Capitalism, but we won't go into that right now. Anyway, D&D Violence is boring. It thinks of fights in HITS and MISSES and DAMAGE PER SECOND.

A Difference Of Paradigm and Philosophies

I believe this is because it stems from D&D still having one foot in the "grungy dungeon crawler" genre it wants to be and the "combat encounter balance MMO" it also wants to be. What ends up happening is that players play it like an immersive sim, finding ways to "cheese" encounters with spells, instead of interacting with the game as the fiction intended. This is exemplified in something like Baldur's Gate 3 for example: a lot of the strats that people love about it includes cheesing, shooting things before they have the chance to react, instead of doing an in-fiction brawl or fight to the death. It's a pragmatist way of approaching the game, and the mechanics of the game kind of reinforce it. People enjoy that approach, so that's good. I don't. Wuxia and Asian Martial Dramas aren't like that, for the most part.

It must be said that this is my paradigm: that the rules and mechanics of the game is what makes the fiction (that shared collective imagination that binds us, penetrates us) arise. A fiction that arises from a set of mechanics is dependent on those mechanics. There is no fiction that arises independently. This is why I commonly say that the mechanics are the narrative. Even if you try to play a game that completely ignores the rules--as is the case in many OSR games where rules elide--your fiction is still arising from shared cultural tropes, shared ideas, shared interests and consumed media.

So for Gubat Banwa, the philosophy was this: when you spend a resource, something happens. This changes the entire battle state--thus changing the mechanics, thus changing the fiction. In a tactical game, very often, the mechanics are the fiction, barring the moments that you or your Umalagad (or both of you!) have honed creativity enough to take advantage of the fiction without mechanical crutches (ie., trying to justify that cold soup on the table can douse the flames on your Kadungganan if he runs across the table).

The other philosophy was this: we're designing fights that feel like kinetic high flying exchanges between fabled heroes and dirty fighters. In these genres, in these fictions, there was no "he attacked thrice, and one of these attacks missed". Every attack was a move forward.

So Gubat Banwa removed itself from the To-Hit/Damage roll dichotomy. It sought to put itself outside of that paradigm, use game conventions and cultural rituals that exist outside of the current West-dominated space. For combat, I looked to Japanese RPGs for mechanical inspiration: in FINAL FANTASY TACTICS and TACTICS OGRE, missing was rare, and when you did miss it was because you didn't take advantage of your battlefield positioning or was using a kind of weapon that didn't work well against the target's armor. It existed as a fail state to encourage positioning and movement. In wuxia and silat films, fighters are constantly running across the environment and battlefield, trying to find good positioning so that they're not overwhelmed or so that they could have a hand up against the target.

The Violence Die: the Visceral Attacking Roll

Gubat Banwa has THE VIOLENCE DIE: this is the initial die or dice that you roll as part of a specific offensive technique.

In the above example, the Inflict Violence that belongs to the HEAVENSPEAR Discipline, the d8 is the Violence Die. When you roll this die, it can be modified by effects that affect the Violence Die specifically. This becomes an accuracy effect: the more accurate your attack, the more damage you deal against your target's Posture. Mas asintado, mas mapinsala.

You compare your Violence Die roll to your target's EVADE [EVD]. If you rolled equal to or lower than the target's EVD, they avoid that attack completely. There: we keep the tacticality of having to make sure your attack doesn't miss, but also EVD values are very low: often they're just 1, or 2. 4 is very often the highest it can go, and that's with significant investment.

If you rolled higher than that? Then you ignore EVD completely. If you rolled a 3 and the target's EVD was 2, then you deal 3 DMG + relevant modifiers to the DMG. When I wrote this, I had no conception of "removing the To-Hit Roll" or "Just rolling Damage Dice". To me this was the ATTACK, and all attacks wore down your target's capacity to defend themselves until they're completely open to a significant wound. In most fights, a single wound is more than enough to spell certain doom and put you out of the fight, which is the most important distinction here.

In the Thundering Spear example, that targets PARRY [PAR], representing it being blocked by physical means of acuity and quickness. Any damage brought about by the attack is directly reduced by the target's PAR. A means for the target to stay in the fight, actively defending.

But if the attack isn't outright EVADED, then they still suffer its effects. So the target of a Thundering Spear might have reduced the damage of an attack to just 1 (1 is minimum damage), they would still be thrown up to 3 tiles away. It matches that sort of, anime combat thing: they strike Goku, but Goku is still flung back. The game keeps going, the fight keeps going.

On Mechanical Weight

When you miss, the mechanical complexity immediately stops--if you miss, you don't do anything else. Move on. To the next Beat, the next Riff, the next Resound, think about where you could go to better your chances next time.

Otherwise, the attack's other parts are a lot more mechanically involved. If you don't miss: roll add your Attacking Prowess, add extra dice from buffs, roll an extra amount of dice representing battlefield positioning or perhaps other attacks you make, apply the effects of your attack, the statuses connected to your attack. It keeps going, and missing is rare, especially once you've learned the systematic intricacies of Gubat Banwa's THUNDERING TACTICS BATTLE SYSTEM.

So there was a lot of setup in the beginning of this post just to sort of contextualize what I was trying to say here. Gubat Banwa inherently arises from those traditions--as a 4e fan, I would be remiss to ignore that. However, the conclusion I wanted to come up to here is the fact that Gubat Banwa tries to step outside of the many conventions of that design due to that design inherently servicing the deliverance of a specific kind of combat fiction, one that isn't 100% conducive to the constantly exchanging attacks that Gubat Banwa tries to make arise in the imagination.

[mysteryshoptls]

R Jack Howl - Playful Dress Voice Lines

Playful Dress Jack does not have a vignette.

Summon Line: Never thought I'd get a chance to have fun at a fantasy theme park like this. And with my classmates, to boot.

Groooovy!!: Heh, this is a pretty wild amusement park. Guess it really was worth coming here.

Home: Alright, this'll be fun!

Swap Looks: My face itches…

Home Idle 1: A fox beastman and a cat beatman, huh. Neither are really that unusual to see, but those two just have a peculiar air about 'em.

Home Idle 2: Join the show...? I mean, this outfit looks like it's made for the stage, but I feel like I'm being taken for a ride without realizing it...

Home Idle 3: If Ruggie-senpai catches wind that all the attractions and food here were free to enjoy, I bet he'd be super jealous.

Home Idle - Login: Hey look, they have a churro stand over there! ...Why're you grinning like that? It's not like I'm excited about it or anything!

Home Tap 1: This hat already had holes in it for my ears. I guess beastmen come to this amusement park often too, huh.

Home Tap 2: If we're gonna ride anything, that's gotta be the roller coaster! Nothing can beat that speed and the sensation of flying through the air!

Home Tap 3: Looks like they have games over that way where you can test your strength and accuracy using magic. I bet Epel would enjoy playing that.

Home Tap 4: This amusement park is themed after that story of the wooden doll, right? It must have gone on a crazy adventure!

Home Tap 5: Geez... I don't care how long the lines are for the attraction, don't be lookin' to me for some funny stories just 'cause you're bored.

Requested by Anonymous.

[ladyloveandjustice]

Winter 2024 Anime Overview: Dungeon Meshi (Delicious in Dungeon)

Premise: Laios is the leader of an adventuring party, and his sister, Falin, got eaten by a dragon while sacrificing herself to save the team. Fortunately, in the dungeon they were exploring, people can be resurrected with magic. Unfortunately, if the dragon fully digests Falin, they probably can’t resurrect her. They have no time to resupply and must traverse many levels of the dungeon filled with monsters to find the dragon. Laios declares that since they can’t get food, they’ll eat the monsters in the dungeon instead-- and as a huge monster fanatic. he's unsettlingly excited about this. He’s accompanied by elf mage Marcille and hafling rogue Chilchuck in his quest, who are much more reluctant about monster-eating. They run into a dwarf, Senshi, who is an expert at cooking monsters, and the delicious race against time to save Falin begins!

...Oh what the hell, I'll say it. FINALLY, some good fucking food.

Memes aside, I love this story so much that writing a review of Delicious in Dungeon/Dungeon Meshi is daunting, because I really want to get across how great it is. But are there enough words in the English language to convey this? We can only try.

Dungeon Meshi combines cooking and adventure animanga expertly, humorously treating eating monsters with the complexity of actual recipes (and indeed, the recipes for the monsters are based off real life recipes). You can experience the warmth and contentment of sharing a meal and enjoy the way the story goes in depth about the biology of the monsters and ecology of classic RPG style dungeon. But at the same time these characters are on a classic fantasy quest and there’s lot’s of excitement as they work together overcome monsters, obstacles and their own weaknesses to save Falin.

The first thing that stands out about Dungeon Meshi is that it’s immediately entertaining and funny. A lot of humor is mined out of Marcille’s complete disgust at eating monsters (and Chilchuck’s more measured reluctance) contrasted with Laios and Senshi’s bizarre enthusiasm for it. The face game of the series is on point, especially Marcille’s.

The characters play off each other very well, have a hilarious dynamic and tons of quirks. They're immediately lovable. They're eccentric weirdos who push each other's buttons, misfits who just happen to fit together, and that's always the best.

I've seen some first time anime viewers complained about that how the early episodes are supposed to be race to save Falin, but there isn't much urgency as the characters have adventures and meals on the way. I can see that as a criticism (though it didn’t stick out to me much in the manga) but this is because we’re mostly seeing them in between the times they’re traveling, when they need downtime and mealtime. The fact that people should never neglect eating and rest if they want to succeed is a pretty important message of the show. You’ve got to let the series cook (forgive the pun). As it goes on, the urgency and tension increases ramps way up. the plot truly takes form and we see a lot of the world building from early parts pay off.

Phenomenal, intricate worldbuilding is the next big thing that stands out about Dunmeshi. Any viewers paying attention will notice it pretty quickly. Ryoko Kui doesn’t dump her complex world or her character’s detailed backstories on the viewer all at once, instead she lets it unfold bit by bit, so the viewer/reader can watch the world expand as the journey goes on, as if we are truly living this world and exploring it along with the characters.

 Everything is carefully thought out, from the structure of the societies, the cultural nuances and physiology of the different magical races, the conflicts between said races and the ways they integrate, the ecosystem and the different monsters and how they function…I could go on forever. And best of all, Dunmeshi's worldbuilding is never to the detriment of it’s incredibly rich story and characters, all of which are also developed wonderfully.

After all, Dugeon Meshi isn’t simply a story about making food and eating monsters—it’s about the ways we consume and ARE consumed, it’s about the endless cycle of life and death and the pain of struggling against that cycle. It’s about the endless hunger that drives us all and the ways we try to fill ourselves up. It’s about the ways we can find both solace and terror in the monstrous, about our struggle to accept not just monsters, but anyone who's different from us. It’s not just about natural ecosystems, but social and societal ecosystems and the ways they both hurt and help us. It’s about all the things that make good meal, one that can draw people together and help us find essential humanity that connects us.

These strong themes are all expressed through the world and the journeys of the characters. And god, do I love these characters.

Even from the start, the characters overturn RPG/fantasy archetypes. (We have an elf who’s not that into nature and dwarf who LOVES nature and doesn’t like blacksmithing)… but the most special thing about these characters is how they deepen, becoming more and more complex and fascinating as the series unfolds. None of them are quite who you think they are while also being exactly how they appear.

Marcille is one of my favorite characters in anything ever. She’s just an absolute disaster, while also being terrifyingly powerful. She’s a magic honors student who buried herself in theory but doesn’t have a lot of experience with the real world and gets upset it doesn’t work like school (I feel that). Her pride and generally high strung nature can lead to blunders that make her very funny to watch. She’s a total nerd in a way that’s so relatable, she has intelligence in spades, but not a lot of wisdom.

 But on the other hand, she’s an aching wounded soul who’s struggling under the surface, dealing with grief and loss constantly. She's obsessed with control in a world that uncontrollable. She’s incredibly driven and unnervingly dedicated to her goals. She’s also scarily devoted to the people she loves and will cross any moral line, break any taboo, and cover herself in blood and sin to save them. She refuses to let silly things like “laws” and “rules” stifle her research or get in her way .And while she's a neat freak who's grossed out by monsters, she's the first person to dive into the blood and guts and horror when shit gets real.

The contrast between her being a sweet, silly, dorky lovable nerd who flails around and being a powerful badass who has complex motivations, an intricate arc, and sometimes questionable morals is so great. Get you a girl who can do both. She's basically everything I love in a character.

Marcille’s love for Falin and infinite devotion is also key to the story, and it’s so refreshing to see a well-written relationship between women be so central to a fantasy anime like this. And yes, by love for Falin, I mean in a gay way. It’s not technically canon (Dunmeshi is not into confirming romantic relationships for any of it’s characters really) but it’s hard to interpret their relationship as anything else, and honestly it’s one of the best wlw ships I’ve seen in a while. It’s got everything, the softness, the sweet and sensual intimacy, the angst, the tragedy, the raw unbearable yearning, tearing the world apart and defying even the laws of nature for her, crawling through hell and soaking your hands in blood and not letting anything get in your way...yeah, it’s good.

While Marcille is my #1, all the characters in this story are fantastic and I love them all. They all have incredible depth and similarly complex backstories and arcs, and are all fun to watch. For instance, Laios may look like generic human fighter but he’s just the weirdest dude, a wonderfully unhinged man who absolutely has a monstersona. But then we also discover he's someone who struggles socially in a way that many neurodivergent people can relate to, who had a troubled childhood, who grapples with survivor’s guilt, and who, like Marcille, would do anything for his sister and the people he cares about. Chilchuck and Senshi and Falin and all the others the same, really interesting characters who deepen and grow. Everyone's relationships also develop wonderfully.

And on top of all that, it's a show with really well-realized and well-written female characters…who even have diverse body types! We have stocky dwarf ladies with muscles! Huge orc and oni women! They’re allowed to be messy and complicated, badass and vulnerable, and that’s definitely a part of my affection for the series. (and famously, most of the fanservice of the series is focused on Senshi’s endless pant shots (loincloth, if we’re being specific)) and while there are moments with the female characters that make me fan myself, it’s not the obnoxious anime unsexy bullshit way that treats women like objects.

And specifically for the anime, Trigger is doing great work with it. There’s so much cool and vivid animation. There are some small moments from the manga that I really miss and wish they had kept, but it’s been a largely faithful adaptation that understands what makes the story great, and I can’t ask for much more. The English simuldub is also genuinely good with all of the VA’s turning in great performances (and Prozd plays Senshi!)

Dungeon Meshi is honestly one to the best stories in recent years, and it’s easy to let it take over your brain. So come along with me and enjoy the funny jokes, the splendid storytelling, the endearing and endlessly fascinating characters and the delectable world. You don’t want to miss out on this delicious meal.

[teriri-sayes]

Reactions to Young Master Shield's Chapter 212

TL;DR - Alberu and Cale talks about the miscommunication. Alberu scolds Cale. The two plan to rip off other kingdoms again. GoD approves of Cale's request. GoD's bishop meets Cale at the black castle. Violan sees Cale off. Cale arrives in the world of a RoFan (romance-fantasy) and becomes a ML???

The Two Brothers The scenes between the two today was so funny. Alberu scolded Cale for misinterpreting his nod back then, and increasing his workload now. 😂

Alberu: That's why I told you to just go quietly. Cale: I thought I had to explain and then go! Alberu: ...Are you mad at me now? Cale: ... Alberu: Tsk. Why did you have to say that you were saving the world? Cale: (I mean, how will I explain it then?) Alberu: You could've said it was related to Arm. Because it's true, right? Then people will be less anxious and won't worry as much, right? Cale: ... Alberu: Even if you cannot lie, you should speak in moderation. Why are you increasing my workload? The background: *constant ringing noises from the video comm devices connected to other countries* Alberu: *glares at Cale* Cale: Ahem. *avoids the gaze* Alberu: This is driving me crazy.

And then the two laughed as they thought of ripping off the other countries again... 😂

"I plan to gather representatives from each kingdom soon and share some of the truth." "…" "It means we need to hold a general meeting. You know what I mean, right? Huh?" Alberu asked with a bright smile. Cale responded quickly. "Yep." It wasn't 'yes,' but 'yep.' Alberu's bright smile deepened, and Cale smiled back. "Hahahaha!" "Hahaha!" Munch, munch. Raon, who was eating cookies, turned away from the two. "Both of you are acting strange!" The two felt a strange sense of futility in the 7 year old dragon's words and stopped laughing.

Of course, Cale also kept teasing Alberu. Like when Cale brightly smiled at Alberu for thinking the same thing as him. 😂

Alberu: *planning to take advantage of the situation to gain something* Cale: *brightly smiling as if he knew what Alberu was thinking* Alberu: !!! Alberu: Don't look at me like that. Cale: How am I looking at you? I'm just looking at you with great respect right now, okay? Alberu: Haa… (I shouldn't talk to you.)

And one more... 🤣🤣🤣

Alberu: No need to send you off? Cale: *grins* Yes. You must be so busy to even play games. I wish you luck! Alberu: … *smiling brightly* Raon: Oh! I think my human won against the crown prince this time!

Aipotu Plans So Cale's request to increase the number of people to a hundred got approved... sort of. GoD said that Cale was allowed to bring 99 people, and the last 100th spot was reserved for someone who might "descend" to that world.

Cale was surprised at the word "descend", and wondered if a god was going. Woah... Is the situation that serious then? GoD did say that if Cale's guess about the Five-Colored Bloods being wanderers was true, it would cause chaos in the divine realm. So who would descend? GoD himself? GoP? GoFP? Angelina?

GoD wouldn't give Cale an answer on who, but told him to bring Cage with him in case communication through the divine mirror fails.

As for the enemy wanderer, we did get one clue about them. Sui and CJS reported that the enemy was wearing a cow-shaped mask, and that was it.

The Send-Off Because the entire black castle would be going, Cale did not head to the temple of GoD this time. Instead, it was the bishop of GoD who came to the black castle. Cale warned the bishop to keep everything a secret, and they agreed, feeling intimidated by everything he had seen here.

We had some touching scene of Violan sending off Cale, telling him to take care of himself. She handed him a blueprint of the castle's new stuff, and told him to make use of it if an enemy attacked.

Cale, the Grand Duke of the North? And finally, Cale's group arrived at the world of Aipotu. They were all tense and prepared to go to battle, but what did they see upon arrival? A snow-filled landscape and cold winds. Apparently, GoD sent them there because this was where CJG last sent a message to GoD, so GoD thought this place was safe.

The group was then greeted by an old man and his entourage in winter clothes, and the old man mistook Cale for... the Grand Duke! 🤣🤣🤣 Cale was shocked, and the confused old man corrected himself, saying that he (Cale) must be the descendant of the Grand Duke who came to save the fief!

Cale, with his extensive knowledge of novels he had read as KRS, then blurted out, "Grand Duke of the North?" At those words, the old man exclaimed that the revelation in his dream was indeed correct. 😂

But wait, Cale... Grand Duke of the North is a cliche in romance-fantasy (rofan) novels... So you also read rofan?! 🤣🤣🤣 And Cale is that Grand Duke's descendant?! 😂

Okay, on a more serious note, does that mean the Thames household was originally from Aipotu? Because Cale's red hair was inherited from them, and the old man even mistook Cale for the grand duke himself. Or is this another case like how WS's appearance was a red-haired KRS lookalike?

Ending Remarks Today's chapter had a lot of funny moments, though I was surprised that they're suddenly in Aipotu by the end of the chapter. Oh yeah, Cale's talk with the Molans got postponed again, but Cale was now seriously thinking of making time to talk with them.

TCF's genre keeps increasing. First it was a transmigration into a western fantasy world. Then we had the modern fantasy and apocalyptic monsters. Next was the world-hopping. Xiaolen was a fantasy world with necromancy theme and throne succession battle. Central Plains was a typical murim world with Eastern zombies. Earth 3 was said to have hunters and dungeons. And now, Aipotu is... a romance fantasy world with dragons? 🤣🤣🤣

If it's rofan, will we have another crown prince here who's going to be the rival of the grand duke of the north? Who's going to be the FL? A commoner turned noble? Or will we have a villainess? Or maybe a saintess? 😂 All this thinking has me excited for the chapter on Friday!

[thewertsearch]

Ask Comp 11/06

@ben-guy asked: […] Imagine the Greek god level drama that would have unfolded with those 12 drama machines if they all went God tier. Even if they all entered the human universe without the two teams fighting over who gets to rule it, there would be no ending the divides that would form for any and all reasons, from quadrants to rulership over Kanaya's new trolls. Kinda curious about your takes on all this, even if it will take a while for you to see this :]

That's exactly it. Vriska's assuming that having a more powerful team would be strictly beneficial - which is hilarious, coming from her.

Like - Vriska. What have you done with your God Tier powers, lately?

Did it benefit the team?

Anonymous asked: its really interesting how the first time vriska kills not out of necessity or due to any extenuating circumstances, she almost immediately regrets it

Yup.

I think it's beginning to dawn on Vriska that she has nothing to hide behind this time. She's stopped being forced to kill, and has graduated to choosing it. It's little wonder she's falling apart.

Anonymous asked: for what it's worth, i've always taken vriska's interpretation of sburb at face value. it's a setting, or a stage, moreso than a character or an organism

Sburb certainly feels like a narrative, which is closely tied to its coming-of-age themes. John isn't John in the game, he's a character called the Heir of Breath from Consort mythology, and it's predestined that he'll fulfil this narrative role - or else.

Sburb is a play. And if you mess up your lines, the stage will collapse underneath you.

@manorinthewoods asked: You know, during your original analysis of the Creation Myth reveal, you made a lot of notes about how the Denizen grist caches must have been comically large, or multiplicative, to allow the alchemisation of universes. Clearly there is no need for that, given the Genesis Frog, so… what is it for, do you think? ~LOSS (7/6/24)

This grist is confirmed to be for the Ultimate Alchemy, which I've been assuming is synonymous with the creation of the Genesis Frog. I guess Jade's currently creating the Frog without any Denizen Grist to speak of, but I assume it'll come into play later on.

My best guess? The frog has to literally eat the Denizen Hoards to grow into a full-sized universe.

Anonymous asked: I wanted to stop by and say your liveblogs are super interesting!! Back when I first read homestuck I didn’t really bother with analysis, just kinda screamed inchoherentoy at my friends, so actually seeing the narrative and char arcs broken down like this into understandable chunks of why might it be written this way, what is the char thinking, why are they thinking that, how does that play into what might happen - it’s super cool thank you for all this !! Anonymous asked: finally catched up with your liveblog, i have been a homestuck for like a semester and i am rlly happy to see someone go this in depth on a liveblog about it! Anyways! Whats the character you relate the most to, so far? - bralsra

Thank you very much!

It's funny. I've talked before about how I was never great at writing analytical essays in English class - but I'm essentially doing the same thing here, and I'm having a great time. I guess it's just more fun when it's a science fantasy webcomic and not, like, Nineteen Eighty-Four.

Who do I relate to the most, I wonder? To be honest, it's probably Kanaya, which probably isn't too surprising if you're a regular reader.

I've said things that are 90% similar to the shit she comes out with. She's so great.

@manorinthewoods asked: I'd like to hear your thoughts on each individual blood caste[…]. ~LOSS (7/6/24)

It's hard to generalize the blood castes, since we've only seen one example of each blood color thus far. Broadly speaking, we're aware that:

Lower bloods have more psychic power.

Higher bloods have more psychic resistance.

Highbloods appear to be physically stronger.

Kanaya's blood color is extremely rare, which implies that, contrary to my expectations, higher blood isn't always rarer than lower blood.

Beyond that, I can't say much more. Based on Karkat's position in the Trollian friend list, he was probably 'supposed' to have green blood, but I don't know if mutating out of the spectrum has actually changed his biology in any way.

He's not psychic, so we can at least assume he doesn't 'count' as being on the bottom of the hemospectrum.

@john-egbert-rose-lalonde asked: the searcherrrrrrrr

"why so discarded" - the drawer

Anonymous asked: Hey, since you like to experiment with stuff, what dl you think would happen if a Tier 2 Sprite prototyped itself into a Tier 1 Sprite?

Great question. I went in-depth into it during a previous ask - although I can imagine it's quite a rare occurrence. How often are two unprototyped Sprites on the same Land?

Anonymous asked: While I think a discord server is a good idea, I think it might be best for everyone if it's one where only you and those helping you with the blog can post anything. That might ruin the community aspect a little, but I feel like it'd be worth it to not get spoiled if you do ever make one. Feel free to completely ignore this- not exactly riveting things I'm sending here.

Right! Quick update on the Discord situation.

Initially, I was going to have Cat help me set it up, but she's been incredibly busy with her thesis lately. Plus, she hasn't really used the platform either, so we had no idea what we were doing. Might need to shelve the Discord server idea until later, or until it becomes necessary.

@krixwell asked: John Egbert when he's told the Earth is done for: John Egbert when his friend is his sister and his dad is his half-brother: John Egbert when he dies ignoble deaths at the hands of manipulators: John Egbert when Fruit Gushers are a Betty Crocker product: MENTAL BREAKDOWN

Dude's got his priorities straight.

@mhafanlol2000 asked: I’m taking an IT course next year, and I want a head start during this summer. Would you know any free beginner’s courses to any languages that would help in that department?

I'll always champion W3Schools as a great first port of call for tech self-learning. All the resources I've found there are well-put together, and let you test your code out in-browser.

As I mentioned to a previous asker, I'd recommend starting with the C language if you're genuinely interested in programming. It's a little harder to use than other, more high-level languages, but it'll teach you more about programming than they will. I'd liken it to learning to drive in manual, rather than automatic. You lose nothing, and acquire skills you wouldn't otherwise know about.

@caliquill submitted:

i'd like to briefly point out this tidbit of the first conversation eridan has with kanaya @krixwell asked: Gamzee to Equius, page 2221: "iF i CoUlD mAkE yOu SmIlE iT'd Be ThE bEsT fUcKiN mIrAcLe I eVeR dId PaRt Of." @dopplesgryndthloggle asked: I'm just gonna put this here: pg 2221 TC: WhAt CaN i Do To MaKe A bRoThEr FuCkIn ShApE hIs ShIt Up? TC: iF i CoUlD mAkE yOu SmIlE iT'd Be ThE bEsT fUcKiN mIrAcLe I eVeR dId PaRt Of. TC: hOnK hOnK hOnK! :o)

...this comic is going to go absolutely wild on a reread, isn't it?

Anonymous asked: oh god no, the clown got you :(

Thanks for the migraine, Gamzee!!

@5am-nztime asked: Insert the one millionth "The Heir of Void, Devoid of Air" joke you've probably gotten. I love dramatic irony

You're actually the only person who sent this one in - and I'm glad you did. It's kind of killing me.

Anonymous asked: a common interpretation is that equius smiles because he knows nepeta might find his body and he doesn't want her to think he died in pain :((

Shit, that's kind of devastating. That said, he had no reason to think Gamzee would leave his body where it was - but that said, he clearly wasn't thinking straight at the time.

Anonymous asked: fun little detail: the ==> leading to equius taking an arrow to the knee is replaced with an arrow, -->

He used to be a Sgrub Player like us :(

Anonymous asked: The idea that he somehow has the freakin' WARHAMMER OF ZILLYHOO in his jokerkind specibus but he STILL only brings out a low-tier pair of juggling clubs is somehow even more intimidating

Where did he even get the thing? When did he get it? Is this from before or after the Pen-Pal got their hands on it?

...if Gamzee is the Pen-Pal, I'm quitting the comic.

@morganwick asked: Well, as long as you don't know for sure whether Nepeta died, you could say… she's both alive and dead until she's observed? @ipunchvampires asked: By cutting away from Nepeta's fate, it's technically ambiguous right now whether she's alive or dead, since we cannot observe her. So you could say that she… heh heh, that she's Sch… she's Schröding…

....oh, god damn it.

Anonymous asked: I feel like there should be an intermission style counter. 4/12 Alien Children Murdered.

If you include Aradia and Vriska, the tally's up to seven. Murderstuck started a long time ago, it seems.

Anonymous asked: i would like to think equius says b100 like how boris johnson says blue in that one interview where he mentions the us brand new BLUE passports or whatever

I also think his voice suits Equius's character fairly well...

Anonymous asked: To be fair on the “overwhelmingly violent purplebloods” angle, Gamzee was stoned out of his mind basically 24/7 until they got to the meteor, so they probably would’ve thought it was a nonissue. […]

I suppose. But if everyone knows purplebloods are habitual murderers, I don't know why you'd ever let one into your friend group. There's always a possibility that one day, his slime delivery will be late, and he'll snap your neck for fun.

@wickedsick asked: You know, this would be the perfect spot for a paradox space intermission. You can read the fluffy comics to wash the taste of blood out of your mouth!

I thought about it - but in the end, I decided to liveblog the Paradox Space comics at the point in the comic where they were released.

Otherwise, Cat'd have to spoiler-check each comic with a fine-toothed comb, and I'd have to delay many of them anyway. Better to get them all out at once.

Anonymous asked: considering that eridan was on feeding duty for gl'bgolyb and had to kill lusii year round under apocaliptic threat im not surprised his response under pressure is to kill something

It really says a lot about the difference between him and Vriska, doesn't it? Vriska's reaction to killing Tavros was a full on existential crisis, but Eridan's first reaction to killing Feferi was to immediately kill again.

@witchoflight asked: hey sally i just wanna remind you of the conversation that dave and gamzee have, specifically about the line: "TC: My mInD'S NoT ThAt sHaRp nOw tHoUgH, iT'S BeEn aGeS SiNcE I HaD A GoOd pIe" gamzee hasn't had access to sopor for WEEKS, not since they entered the game. […]

Was he sober, though? He's still acting stoned, and using his original quirk, so if he did sober up, he must have immediately decided to pretend he didn't, and then arbitrarily reveal himself as sober later on.

To me, it feels like it just took a while for the slime's effects to fully fade. It might genuinely have taken a month for it all to leave his system.

@mimescantscream asked: Now that Gamzee has swiftly become the most important character, any thoughts on his transformation?

It's weirdly drastic, isn't it?

Like, if he was hiding this personality under sedatives this entire time, surely we should have seen some hint of it, in all the time we've known him. We've even been in his head, and he seemed like exactly who he appeared to be.

Was Gamzee unaware of this latent personality? Do we have a Jekyll and Hyde situation on our hands? He does say he's 'both' of his messiahs...

@elkian asked: You've now reached the point where I can (probably) say that the common fandom Exile match for Kanaya is Problem Sleuth, as he has the Vampire schema mode. (Plus a jade-green ultimate attack.)

Oh, I love that for her. We better be seeing Team Sleuth in some form before the end, even if it's just a cameo.

@krixwell asked: I think you're blaming the wrong chat program. Trollian is an advanced alien chat program powered by futuristic sci-fan shenanigans, with features specifically designed to allow the user to choose the timeframe at which they try to contact someone. Pesterchum, not so much. Pesterchum if anything is retro, with only the most barebones of 1-on-1 chat features, a status setting that barely changes anything unless you're rancorous, and a block feature that seemingly fails to recognize incoming Trollian connections from the same user at different times (possibly Trollian's fault). Even setting aside the frogskin barrier, it's a wonder the two programs can communicate at all. So when someone uses Pesterchum to contact a Trollian user whose timeline is entirely separate from their own, with no interface to pick a timeframe on, how exactly is either program supposed to know when to contact them?

I guess most of our nonlinear conversations have been Trollian-to-Pesterchum.

Karkat has tied himself into knots over memos, but that is admittedly a slightly different use case.

And can I just say, I love the concept of a 'frogskin barrier'. These two parties have been beaming messages from frog-to-frog this entire time, and the walls between their dimensions are literally made of skin.

@captorations asked: consider: this means that the sbahj joke that following kanaya's death was actually foreshadowing given the comic it's from

I can't fucking believe this.

Anonymous asked: tbh i'll never get over how the presumable FIRST THING kanaya did upon coming back to life was just. to wade through the horn pile to drink blood from a corpse.

Vriska's getting a little competition for Troll Of All Time!

@morganwick asked: I mean, technically Jade was already in the Fruity Rumpus Asshole Factory, it was just with two Karkats and Dave only made a brief appearance.

16-player fruity rumpus argument or we riot

Anonymous asked: do you think you'll liveblog tsg if you read it?

I wasn't planning on it, but if there's a lot of demand, I'll definitely think about it. If I was to liveblog any fanfic, it'd probably be that one, since it's a proper 'event fanfiction' from the author of TLT.

Anonymous asked: re: the ultimate riddle: karkat actually already explained it on page 1903. basically its just some more timeloop/alpha timeline predestination stuff

The sense I got was that there was a section of the conversation that we missed.

On Skaia, John begins a conversation with an early version of Karkat about the Ultimate Riddle, but the camera moves away before they really get into it. Then, on the Veil, an early Karkat shows up to continue a point he was making about the Riddle, implying that there's a section of this conversation that was deliberately obfuscated.

I initially thought that the Riddle was the mystery of Sburb itself - ie, what the point of the game is. I still think that's probably pretty close, but I do wish we got this full conversation, just in case.

Anonymous asked: “Scratch positioned [Vriska] as someone who will perpetuate a monumental, large-scale mistake, and I don't think there's anything she could do on the Veil that fits the bill.” When John was about to prototype jades sprite with a broken doll, Vriska made him fall asleep, and Becquerel jumped in the sprite instead, leading to Jack Noir becoming an unbeatable boss and destroying the trolls session. I think that could be the perpetuation of a large scale mistake.

Possibly. But as violent as Jack is, I don't think he's a huge threat to the rest of the multiverse.

He takes hours to rampage through a session, but there are presumably trillions of sessions out there in the multiverse. From a top-level perspective, he's not doing meaningful damage, and it's certainly within Vriska's comprehension.

I actually think Vriska's going to do something much worse than make Jack. If she contributes to the creation of Lord English, for example, she might be breaking something that can't be repaired.

Anonymous asked: Honestly its a little sad though right? That the troll kids are snapping and dying? Like yeah they were raised on a violent murder planet but also, they're all still 13 years old and have been without their means of Sleeping Naturally for a while (the sopor slime is how trolls usually get sleep) not being an apologist or anything but the murders could've been prevented with healthy moraillegences and good nights sleep.

Oh, it's horrific, that should go without saying. If the trolls had got some decent shuteye, it'd have kept them stable for at least slightly longer.

[grigori77]

Reasons to LOVE Dungeons & Dragons: Honour Among Thieves

It's brand new in cinemas, so there are still plenty who ain't seen it, so if you're among 'em best skip this and just GO SEE IT, it's SO well worth it, genuinely it's one of the best new movies I've seen so far this year. Hope you love it as much as I did!

So, yeah, there you go - SPOILER WARNING, FOLKS!!! If you don't wanna get spoiled, RUN!!!

Still here? Okay, here we go then ...

This really is, UNAPOLOGETICALLY, a comedy. I mean yeah, this is a classic fantasy action adventure in the Willow, Krull or Ladyhawke mold, but it is also very enthusiastically POKING FUN at the classic conventions of the genre ... albeit CLEARLY done with great affection and love for the material, as only the best lampoons can be. So this is more The Princess Bride or Galaxy Quest than Your Highness or Spaceballs ...

Chris Pine is ALWAYS at his best when he's being FUNNY, so he is PERFECT here. Edgin is most definitely a bit of a douchebag, but he's the sweetest, most lovable douchebag you'll ever encounter.

Holga. Literally just EVERYTHING about Holga. She's my favourite character in this, this REALLY IS the best role that Michelle Rodriguez has EVER HAD, if you ask me. She's a total badass, a truly AMAZING FIGHTER, but I love that despite her dour demeanour she's actually quite sweet, gentle and really a great innocent in many ways. She's an absolute cinammon roll and must be protected at all costs.

OH MY GODS!!! All the easter eggs, SO MANY easter eggs ... FAR too many to count throughout, all the references and nods and winks to the game itself, all the spells and races and creatures and stuff ... but I love how the movie NEVER beats you over the head pointing any of it out, it just lets you enjoy it. So the proper fans will get a huge kick out of spotting it all, but casual viewers will just enjoy it as rich worldbuilding colour and flavour.

Seriously though, it's a D&D fan's DREAM!!! Not just the mimic, or the owlbear, or the gelatinous cube! SO MUCH to spot ...

Justice Smith's Simon gets THE CLEVEREST and best introduction in the film, I love the theatre scene, he's SO BAD at this while also simulataneously being really great. Totally sums up this gloriously clunky hot mess of a sorcerer ...

the opening is GENIUS, totally sets the movie up as it means to go on - the parole hearing is a brilliant comedic take on the scene-setting infodump which is brilliantly carried through in the way the movie delivers exposition in a fun way or just lets you absorb it through what's happening in each scene. This is the perfect, TEXTBOOK way to do it.

"That is one pudgy dragon!" LOL

Doric. Just EVERYTHING about Doric. Sophia Lillis' tiefling druid is a wonderful diminutive little action hero, so fiesty and capable. I love her. It's just a shame she's not primary coloured, I'd have loved it even more if she'd been blue, or red ...

The Wildshape Escape! XD Yeah, I love that, that's THE BEST set-piece in the whole movie, definitely, when Doric gets cught out spying and has to shapeshift on the fly to get away, and it all plays out in one immersive single shot that just leaves your heart in your mouth ...

Oh, the Speak With The Dead montage, that is comedy GOLD. Funniest scene in the whole movie. And with added payoff at the end! XD

Rege-Jean Page's Xenk Yendar. Oh boy, that paladin is something else. I love how LITERAL he is, he's like Drax in GOTG but much more intelligent. Y'know when Holga says: "You're not a lot of fun, are you?" to him? She's so wrong. I just wish there was more of him in this ...

The heist! Oh, the heist! So good ... the portal trick, it's great, love the way they did that, and then that HILARIOUS bard illusion distraction - Pine skipping the song like a broken record was just chef's kiss!

That wonderful wibbly-wobbly illusory reality thing whenever Simon tries to atune to the Helm ... wow, that is some spectacularly trippy shit. Granted, twice is fine for terms of pacing, but I could've done with a few more scenes of that, it's fascinating.

Hugh Grant really has just become a MASTER at playing smarmy, slimy duplicitous gits now, hasn't he? Forge is a reprehensible prick and I love it.

I love how they made Bradley Cooper a halfling for his cameo. They're never gonna let him live down the fact that he's now probably best known for playing a two-foot-tall talking racoon so forever after he will be a Short King.

Wow, Daisy Head's Sofina is a CRACKING villain, she's just SO CREEPY!!! I love how coolly menacing she is, a brilliant dark necromantic wizard that just makes your skin crawl. Especially at the end ... IS SHE a lich? Is that what they were doing there?

That whole big action climax, the showdown in the city centre is FIRE!!! It's so amazing, so brilliantly dynamic, with EVEN MORE great easter eggs! Simon and Sofina having an insanely awesome "arm wrestling" bout with Mage Hand versus Earthen Grasp (I think that's the spell, couldn't be sure), oh my gods! So cool ... and then the way they neutralised the threat! Brilliant.

Chloe Coleman's Kira is an absolutely adorable delight, and I think she's ENTIRELY JUSTIFIED in how pissed she is at Edgin for abandoning her. It makes the payoff when they finally make up so much better.

And that resurrection scene at the end? Yeah, sure, I saw that coming a mile off, but it was so well done, and they played it so well, that it was still SUCH a powerful scene even so. Just perfect.

Seriously, they just did this whole thing SO PERFECTLY. It's visually STUNNING, really it just looks AMAZING, and the action sequences are BRILLIANT but always feel entirely necessary for the story, which is how you want to do it. Best of all, though, is THE PACING!!! This is such a quick, breezy film, it just barrels along at a spectacular clip, so it never drags. Mark Kermode is right, even though this is two and a quarter hours long it doesn't FEEL LIKE IT, it feels like a super-trim 90-minute movie.

And it ties everything off nice and neat, too. Sure, there are definitely possibilities for the future, going forward if they make more, but if the movie DOES tank then it's fine, because this really does do a great job about feeling self-contained and telling its own complete story, so if we DON'T get more it won't be too big a disappointment ...

[roguerambles]

MK Alluring Sorceress!Reader Intros

Mortal Kombat - Female Reader x Multiple

Okay, so I've been on a fighting game kick recently and under the influence of a certain someone (*cough* check out @icy-spicy she's awesome *cough*) I've been looking into a lot of Mortal Kombat.

I've also seen a bunch of these "Reader Intros" kicking around and wanted to try my hand at some!

I'm picturing Reader as a sorceress, a bit of a wild card, not really good or bad, but is determined in achieving her own goals. Pretty and clever and alluring and well aware of it too. I might try and do something with her if I can find the muse haha.

This is just sort of me experimenting a bit, I don't know if I'll try more.

Enjoy the rambles!

-

Shang Tsung vs Reader

Shang Tsung: "We have much in common, you and I."

You: "I'm prettier, smarter and more powerful than you."

Shang Tsung: "Let's agree to disagree, my dear."

-

Shang Tsung: "Your skills are impressive."

You: "You hardly need to tell me that."

Shang Tsung: "But they pale before a true master."

-

Shang Tsung: "Your charms are no match for my power."

You: "I will enjoy seeing you on your knees, Shang Tsung."

Shang Tsung: *laughs* "I confess to thinking the same thing."

-

Shang Tsung: "Submit, and I will give you anything you desire."

You: "Funny, I was just about to say the same to you."

Shang Tsung: "Perhaps we may both yet win."

-

Kuai Liang vs Reader

Kuai Liang: "The Lin Kuei will not bow to your whims."

You: "You will soon enough, handsome."

Kuai Liang: "Hmph."

-

Kuai Liang: "Does your magic protect you from the cold?"

You: "I find body heat a more enjoyable method for all involved."

Kuai Liang: "Your charms will not protect you from me."

-

Kuai Liang: "You seek the secrets of the Lin Kuei?"

You: "Tell me, and my gratitude will heat that cold blood of yours, Kuai Liang."

Kuai Liang: "Only if you prove worthy."

-

Kuai Liang: "Your recklessness will be your undoing, sorceress."

You: "Kuai Liang, are you flirting with me?"

Kuai Liang: "Draw your own conclusions."

-

Jax Briggs vs Reader

Jax: "You wanna share what you're up to this time?"

You: "We could share many things, Major Briggs."

Jax: "Not when I'm on the clock."

-

You: "Just how good with those arms are you?"

Jax: "Surrender peacefully, and I'll show you."

You: "Ooh, Major Briggs..."

-

Jax: "You don't want this."

You: "On the contrary, I want you quite a bit."

Jax: "Now you're just trying to make me blush."

-

You: "There are so many other ways we could get physical."

Jax: "I'm listening."

You: "Come closer and I'll tell you..."

-

Shao Khan vs Reader

Shao Khan: "Join my concubines."

You: "I do not play second fiddle, Shao Khan."

Shao Khan: "I do enjoy a jealous woman..."

-

Shao Khan: "A woman like you deserves a man like me."

You: "I could use a man like you at my beck and call."

Shao Khan: "Ha! I like your fire!"

-

You: "Kneel before me, Shao Khan."

Shao Khan: "I kneel before nobody."

You: "You will beg for me in time."

-

Shao Khan: "You cannot resist me for long."

You: "Sounds as though you are the one who cannot forget me..."

Shao Khan: "You will be mine!"

-

Johnny Cage vs Reader

Johnny: *whistle* "Where the hell did you come from?"

You: "Your wildest fantasies, handsome."

Johnny: "Damn, I am in trouble."

-

Johnny: "Any chance we skip the fight and go grab a coffee?"

You: "Surrender, and I promise you won't regret it."

Johnny: "That's really damn tempting, I won't lie."

-

You: "Serve me, and I can offer you rewards beyond your greatest imaginings."

Johnny: "You're killing me here, sweetheart."

You: "Not yet."

-

Johnny: "You don't steal souls, do you?"

You: "Why don't you come closer and find out?"

Johnny: "...well mark me down as scared and horny..."

-

Liu Kang vs Reader

Liu Kang: "You must temper your desires before they consume you, sorceress."

You: "You should indulge in desire before you wither, monk."

Liu Kang: "...that felt a little uncalled for."

-

You: "I would hate to ruin that pretty face, Liu Kang."

Liu Kang: "We need not be adversaries."

You: "Alas, you persist in getting in my way."

-

You: "We could work well together, Liu Kang."

Liu Kang: "Perhaps, if you would exercise a little more self-control."

You: "I could teach you to loosen up, to begin with..."

-

You: "How is Kitana doing, these days?"

Liu Kang: "Oh, she...she is well."

You: "Oh, look at you blush! Such a lucky girl."

[zeroaddzero]

Top 10 Horniest Bruce Springsteen songs, ranked

Yes there are more horny Bruce songs. Too many horny songs for one list. I don’t know if his game was good because he knew how to write horny songs, or if his game inspired him to write horny songs. Either way, we’ve been blessed musically with a lot of horny songs. Here’s the horny songs I managed to fit into a (very biased) list:

1.  I'm On Fire

THE horny Bruce song. A fever fantasy of a wet dream smushed into one moaning, sweaty mess. Before I was a fan, this (coupled with the below performance) was the song that made me go "OH. I get it now."

Spotify LINK

At night I wake up with the sheets soaking wet And a freight train running through the middle of my head Only you can cool my desire

2.  Pink Cadillac

About as subtle as Lady Gaga’s “Disco Stick.” Even better paired with the BITUSA tour intro (said intro got noticeably more sexual after Bruce got married in 1985).

Spotify LINK

They say Eve tempted Adam with an apple But man I an’t goin for that I know it was her pink Cadillac

3. Fire

Originally written for Elvis, the bass line alone for this #problematic 70s “don't play coy with me” number will make you reconsider feminism for 5 minutes. The 1986 performance is downright NSFW.

Spotify LINK

You had a hold on me right from the start A grip so tight I couldn't tear it apart

4. The Fever

Bruce is king of the “lying in bed thinking of how horny this person makes me” genre, and this is one of his finest examples. At almost 8 minutes, it’s the tantric equivalent to the more concentrated "I’m on Fire". Anybody noticing a “burning” theme here?

Spotify LINK

Well now the day grows longer The love just grows stronger, baby And the fever gets so bad at night I got the fever for the girl

5. Because The Night

Bruce never finished the lyrics, and this song arguably belongs to Patti Smith now. Bruce has even said as much. However, I am biased and enjoy this banger too much to let technicalities get in the way of horny. On the list it goes.

Spotify LINK

Because the night belongs to lovers Because the night belongs to lust Because the night belongs to lovers Because the night belongs to us

6. Red Headed Woman

I'm Going Down may seem raunchy until you realise it's about a bad breakup. For the other thing, we have this entry. Folks, this song is literally about eating pussy. Bruce even introduced it as such during his Ghost of Tom Joad tour. I’ve yet to recover from the whiplash of hearing him say the word “cunnilingus” while performing at his old Catholic high school.

Spotify LINK

Well listen up stud Your life's been wasted 'Til you've been down on your knees and tasted A red headed woman

7. She's The One

Speculated to have been written about the violinist who played on the album Born To Run, this tune shows our boy is down baaad. Best paired with the excellent "Mona" intro, which is included in the Houston '78 live performance below.

Spotify LINK

With her killer graces and her secret places That no boy can fill with her hands on her hips Oh and that smile on her lips Because she knows that it kills me

8. Part Man, Part Monkey

My Tunnel of Love tour knowledge is woefully lacking despite the tour being his most explicit, and the accompanying album being in my top 3. In the eyes of the public, Bruce was still with his first wife when this video was shot in 1988. Only the band knew he was recently separated, so imagine watching a presumably married man on stage eye-fucking his backup singer. The gossip mill must have been insane after each show.

Spotify LINK

Well the night is dark, the moon is full The flowers of romance exert their pull We talk awhile, my fingers slip I'm hard and crackling like a whip

9. Crush On You

Another genre this Jersey dude excels at is “horny to the point of funny.” Bruce himself has called it "the worst song we ever put on a record" but hey, what does he know.

Spotify LINK

For one kiss, darling I swear everything I would give 'Cause she's a walking talking reason to live

10. Cover Me

I just realised this is only one of four songs on this list included on an official Springsteen album (if you don't count the outtake compilations.) And how fitting it is to start and end this list with Paris '85 concert footage!

Spotify LINK

Now promise me baby you won't let them find us Hold me in your arms, let's let our love blind us Cover me, shut the door and cover me I'm looking for a lover who will come on in and cover me

Honourable mentions (song/album):

Rosalita / The Wild, The Innocent & The E Street Shuffle Candy's Room / Darkness on the Edge of Town Ramrod / The River Cindy / The River (outtakes) Ain’t got you / Tunnel of Love The Fuse / The Rising

Let me know if you think I missed any! I won't change the list, but more horny song discourse is always good.

[nevermorgue]

Hii it's the fantasy au anon :)

I like your idea with Will being a changeling, but in my mind he would be skrunkly mechanic with weird inventions (which don't always work).

-Montresor and Ada always laugh at his ideas and he goes "well, yeah they're not good you're right!".

-Prospero is a doctor who always has to deal with injured after testing inventions Will. At first he's annoyed but later he gets invested in his ideas, because some of them are actually very smart.

-And Annabel would be something like a witch who is his bestie ofc, and brings him potions and medicine for his patients. Will often comes by with burns and scrapes and rambles about what didn't go well this time and Prospero would smile when he's not looking and Annabel would go like, "What do you see in that guy?" - "He makes me laugh."

Also, if you have any lennabel headcanons for this au, I would be very happy <3

Ok I totally see your vision. I love the idea of Will having a trait that makes him useful here (in canon its his spectre, here the inventions). But as always, he is dumb and messes things up. - It starts with Will trying to explain himself nervously and Prospero just kinda sighing and dealing with it. But after the millionth time it becomes something Will doesn't even mind, even perking up a bit as he gets to chat with the doctor again. He ends up rambling about some ideas, some that even Prospero is impressed with. He thinks Will would be fully capable in creating something to benefit the medical field. - Ugh I love them. Prospero doesn't LIKE when Will's injured obviously but he likes having the excuse to see him. Stupid gay smile on his face. Annabel knows. She claims he has bad taste despite not being any better. - Annabel has a pretty good thing going for her. Perhaps she was of a respected sorcerer family and ditched because of a disagreement/arranged marriage stuff. She lives on her own, is very skilled in what she does. - Probably looks different from when she left home to avoid being found or caught by whoever her father hires to find her. Think shorter hair, no big fat curls, you get it - Lenore meets her when they go into her place to stock up on potions. Annabel immediately plays the innocent witch act, and Lenore thinks she's super cute. It starts as playful, friendly flirting. - Then Lenore keeps coming back, even when she doesn't need anything. Not wanting Annabel to suspect her gay intentions, she always leaves purchasing SOMETHING. - Duke knows. They all know. It's painfully obvious, but they find it funny when Lenore makes bad excuses and lies. - Eventually, Annabel asks Lenore for a favor. She asks Lenore to test out an unnamed potion for her...but the catch is that she has to take a dose of it every day. - And so it starts. Lenore doesn't feel any effects at first, and she cannot help but wonder what its supposed to do. But whenever she asks, Annabel is ominously vague about it. - Eulalie suggests that it was a love potion. Lenore laughs that off, but now the idea has been placed in her head. What if Annabel Lee is giving her small doses of an experimental love potion every day? - Now with the idea in her head, the placebo effect starts. She feels the symptoms of a crush, thinking it must certainly be a love potion. - Plot twist: the potion was just colored water. She was playing a game, and Lenore ended up falling for her once the idea of it being a love potion was put into her head. - Yes, that is how Lenore ends up confessing - Most of their dates are in Annabel's shop because she's still a little worried about being recognized. - Which is why Lenore gets her a cute cloak so they can take walks and stuff. Gay people.

[firstknightvulion]

More Karlach x Astarion. Plus others and maybe funny.

The Party is at the Elfsong.

Lae’zel: Witness, Istik’s! As I devour this Mega Grande Burrito in four bites!

Astarion: Deplorable…my wife can do it in three.

Gale: That-that’s not normal.

Astarion: You’re right. It’s exceptional!

Wyll: This I must see.

Lae’zel: You believe she can best a gith?!

Astarion: I know she can. Karlach!

Karlach: *carrying drinks* Yes, darling?

Astarion: Our lovely Lae’zel says she can beat you in devouring a giant burrito.

Karlach: Cannot!

Lae’zel: Four bites!

Karlach: Three!

An epic battle ensues! Karlach wins. Lae’zel pukes on Shadowheart. Wyll gets the tab. Gale falls asleep after two tequila shots. Halsin and Minthara double team Tav in a bathroom stall or something. Fucking elves, man. (Is a big fan of fantasy elves and almost exclusively plays them in games.)