#i missed it but i’m glad i waited until i was ready to start again

[averysmallkitten]

wrow

[pucksandpower]

Lover

Charles Leclerc x Reader

Summary: the little (and not so little) ways that you and Charles show your love for each other

You’re in the kitchen, phone pressed to your ear as you listen intently to Charles’ mother give you her famous tiramisu recipe step-by-step. “Now, this next part is very important,” she stresses. “You’ll need one cup of granulated sugar to add to the mascarpone filling.”

“Got it, one cup sugar for the filling,” you confirm.

Pascale chuckles warmly. “I’m so glad Charles has found such a lovely girl who wants to learn my recipes. He’s always loved my tiramisu since he was a little boy.”

You smile, touched by her kind words. You and Charles have been together for a year now, but it still makes your heart flutter to be so accepted into his close-knit family.

“It means so much to me that you’re sharing this recipe with me,” you tell Pascale sincerely.

You chat with her a while longer, going over some of the trickier steps and getting tips on how to best soak the ladyfingers. Finally, you have the full recipe memorized and are ready to give it a try.

“Okay, I think I’ve got it now. Thank you so much again, Pascale! I really appreciate you taking the time to walk me through this.”

“Of course, chère! Let me know how it turns out. Charles is a lucky man to have such a thoughtful girlfriend,” Pascale says warmly before hanging up.

You grin, eager to get started. You know tiramisu is Charles’ absolute favorite dessert and you want to surprise him with a homemade version tonight after he finally comes back from his latest race.

Humming to yourself, you gather the ingredients — mascarpone, eggs, espresso, cocoa powder, and of course, the sugar. You double check you have everything and preheat the oven so the ladyfingers will be perfect.

As you start the recipe, you feel a rush of excitement. You follow each step meticulously, Pascale’s voice guiding you in your mind. You carefully separate the eggs and beat the whites to stiff peaks. When it’s time to add the sugar to the mascarpone filling, you pause.

Now, which one was the sugar again? You look between the two identical jars of white powder, second-guessing yourself.

Shoot, you should have labeled them.

After a moment of hesitation, you decide on the bowl on the left. Yes, that must be sugar, you reassure yourself. You mix it into the silky mascarpone filling until it’s perfectly combined. Once assembled, you spread the filling over the ladyfingers and cover it with a final dusting of cocoa powder.

It looks absolutely beautiful. You did it! You made Charles’ favorite dessert completely from scratch. You can’t wait to see the look on his face when he takes the first delicious bite.

You glance at the clock as you clean up. Charles will be home soon. You carefully store the tiramisu in the fridge to chill until after dinner.

Right on time, you hear Charles’ keys in the lock. You hurry to greet him, throwing your arms around him in a tight hug. “I missed you!”

He grins and nuzzles your neck. “And I missed you, ma belle.”

Over dinner on the balcony, Charles tells you all about the race and his ambitious one-stop strategy under the Suzuka cherry blossoms. You listen attentively, asking questions and laughing at his dramatic reenactments.

Finally, it’s time for dessert. “I have a surprise for you,” you say with a playful smile.

Charles’ eyes light up. “Oh really? Do tell!”

You bring the chilled tiramisu to the table, along with two small plates and forks. “Ta-da! I made your favorite, with your mom’s secret recipe.”

“No way, you’re kidding!” Charles exclaims. He takes in the layered dessert with delight. “It looks incredible, mon cœur. I can’t believe you did this for me.”

You blush happily as you dish out servings for both of you. “I hope I did it justice. Your mom walked me through the whole thing over the phone.”

Charles takes a big eager bite, closing his eyes as he savors it. “Mmm … it’s absolutely delicious,” he declares after swallowing. “Seriously, this is amazing. Here, you have to try it!”

He holds out a forkful toward you. You accept it into your mouth, immediately bursting into incredulous laughter. “Oh my god, this is so salty! I definitely screwed up somewhere. You don’t have to eat it!”

But Charles just grins and takes another hearty bite. “What do you mean? It tastes perfect to me.”

You stare at him in confusion. “You can’t actually like this, Charles. It’s like I poured the entire salt shaker in by accident.”

“No no, it’s great! The best tiramisu I’ve ever had,” he insists. Seeing your disbelief, he takes your hand from across the table. “Really, Y/N. I love it because you made it just for me. With love. That’s what makes it so special.”

You feel your insides turn soft and melty at his words. “You’re just saying that to be nice,” you protest weakly.

He shakes his head. “I’m saying it because it’s true. Because ...” He pauses, looking into your eyes sincerely. “Because I’m completely in love with you, mon amour. I’d eat a thousand salty tiramisus if it made you smile like this.”

You can’t help the joyful laugh that escapes you. “You’re such a hopeless romantic, you know that?” You tease him.

“Only for you,” he flirts back with a playful wink.

You lean across the table to kiss him tenderly. When you pull back, the adoration shining in his green eyes leaves you breathless.

Maybe he’s right. It doesn’t matter that the tiramisu is an utter fail. All that matters is that you made it with love.

And that’s the sweetest taste of all.

***

It’s been a few weeks since your salty tiramisu mishap. You and Charles laughed about it afterwards, but you were still determined to make him something special with your own two hands.

So you decided to take up crocheting. It was trickier than you expected, but you persevered, watching YouTube tutorials and getting tangled in yarn for hours.

Finally, after a month of work, you’ve produced your first wearable creation — a sweater for Charles.

It’s an oversized style, cream colored with red racing stripes across the chest. You did your best to evenly stitch the rows, but there are gaps in some places that cause the stripes to waver drunkenly.

The sleeves are several inches too long, dangling adorably over Charles’ hands when he tries it on. And the neckline gapes open no matter how he tugs it.

But none of the flaws matter to Charles. His face lights up like a kid on Christmas morning when you present it to him.

“You made this? For me?” He asks as he eagerly pulls it on.

You nod, suddenly shy. “I wanted to make something special for you, even if my skills are still .... developing,” you admit with an embarrassed chuckle.

But Charles is beaming, admiring himself in the mirror. “It’s perfect! Seriously, I love it. This is the best gift ever!”

He engulfs you in a big hug, sleeves flopping over you. You hug him back, relieved and happy he appreciates your efforts.

From that day on, Charles insists on wearing the sweater constantly, even styling it with whatever eclectic pants he decides to wear on race weekends.

You try to discourage him — the holes along the hem are getting bigger from snagging and the neckline is truly unsalvageable.

But Charles won’t hear it. “Are you kidding? This is my new lucky charm!” He declares. “I have to wear it for every race now.”

Sure enough, he starts a winning streak whenever he dons your handmade sweater, even though it’s quite a departure from the fitted shirts and designer hoodies he previously favored, leaving his fans scratching their heads at the sudden change.

You watch in amused endearment as he proudly wears your gift for candid pre-race interviews and photo-ops. The overlong sleeves just make his exuberant gestures even more adorable.

Finally, a reporter works up the courage to ask him about the quirky sweater. “That’s quite a statement piece you have been arriving in each Sunday,” the reporter comments during a press conference. “What made you decide to wear it?”

Charles’ face lights up even more. “My sweater? It was handmade for me by my incredible girlfriend,” he announces, making you blush furiously from the audience.

“She worked so hard on it, even though crocheting is totally new to her. So I wear it to show how much I appreciate her and how talented she is,” he continues sincerely.

The reporters “aww” as Charles shows off the uneven stitches like they’re couture. “It’s my good luck charm now too! She put so much love into making it that I feel like I can’t lose whenever I have it on.”

He looks directly at you, eyes shining. “It’s the best gift I’ve ever received, because she made it just for me. I’m the luckiest man in the world to be with someone so thoughtful and caring.”

You have to wipe away joyful tears at his heartfelt words. You never imagined your clumsy crocheting would come to mean so much to him.

But Charles wears that sweater for every race, no matter how tattered it gets. Because for him, it represents something priceless — your love.

***

You hum along to the radio as you stir the melted chocolate in a bowl. The rich aroma fills the air of your shared apartment. Today is Valentine’s Day and you want to surprise your boyfriend with homemade chocolate-covered strawberries when he gets home from training.

You dip the first plump, red strawberry into the silky chocolate, letting the excess drip off before placing it gently onto a baking sheet lined with parchment paper. One by one, you coat each strawberry, taking care to fully submerge them.

When the tray is full, you quickly pop one glistening strawberry into your mouth and slide the rest into the fridge to let the chocolate harden. As you wait, you tidy up the kitchen, washing the bowls and utensils used to make the treat. A glance at the clock on the microwave tells you Charles will be home soon.

The sound of the front door opening makes you grin. “Mon amour, I’m back!” Charles calls out.

You grab the tray of chocolate-covered strawberries and head towards his voice. “Welcome home! I have a surprise for y-”

You stop short, your throat suddenly feeling scratchy and tight. Your lips tingle oddly.

Confused, you lift a hand to your neck. Is this just excitement to see Charles? But no, your tongue is starting to swell now too. Your breathing becomes labored.

Charles rounds the corner. “Mon ange, what’s wro-” His eyes widen as he takes in your distress. In a few quick strides he is by your side, the tray clattering forgotten to the floor. “What’s happening?”

You wheeze, barely able to force out words. “Can’t … breathe …”

Charles sweeps you into his arms and runs for the front door. “Hospital. Now.”

You cling to him, each ragged breath a struggle. The world seems to blur and tilt alarmingly.

Then somehow you’re in Charles’ car, speeding down the street. One of his hands grips the wheel while the other clutches yours tightly. “Just hold on, stay with me. We’re almost there.”

You try to respond but only manage a choked gurgle. Black spots swim across your vision. A feeling of detachment steals over you.

The car screeches to a stop outside the emergency department entrance. Charles lifts you from the passenger seat, calling for help. There is a flurry of activity as a team of doctors and nurses rushes over with a gurney.

You are barely aware of being wheeled into an exam room, too focused on trying to pull air into your lungs. A mask is fitted over your face, dispensing blessed oxygen. An IV is inserted into your arm.

The medical staff works quickly, asking Charles questions as they begin treatment. Antihistamines. Steroids. Epinephrine. The medications slowly start to counteract your reaction. The vice-like tightness in your chest and throat gradually lessens.

After what feels like an eternity, you are able to take full breaths again. The room comes back into focus, no longer spinning. Charles sits at your bedside, clutching your hand, his handsome face creased with worry.

The doctor examines you, nodding with satisfaction as your symptoms continue to improve. “It appears you had a severe allergic reaction. We’ll run some tests to determine the cause.”

Charles looks stricken. “But how? What could have possibly …” His gaze falls on your swollen lips. “The strawberries,” he whispers.

You nod weakly. It had to have been. You’ve never reacted to them before, but an allergy can develop at any time.

Charles smoothes back your hair, distress pouring off of him. “I’m so sorry, mon cœur. I should have been there with you.”

You squeeze his hand. “You couldn’t have known. I’m okay now thanks to you.”

He just shakes his head, unconvinced.

The testing confirms it — you are now mysteriously allergic to strawberries. The doctor gives you an EpiPen prescription and strict instructions to the fruit in the future.

After several more hours of observation, you are finally discharged from the hospital with an exhausted Charles supporting you.

The sun has long since set on what was supposed to have been a romantic Valentine’s Day. Instead, you spent it swollen and terrified in the ER.

Back home, Charles tucks you into bed, insisting you rest. You catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror — puffy-faced and red-eyed — and cringe. Some Valentine you turned out to be.

You reach for Charles’ hand again. “I’m so sorry I ruined our evening. I wanted it to be perfect but instead I ended up scaring you half to death and forcing you to rush me to the hospital.”

Charles silences you with a gentle kiss. “Not another word, mon amour. You have nothing to apologize for. All that matters is that you are safe.”

He caresses your cheek, looking at you with such love and tenderness it makes your heart ache. “You could never ruin anything. You are the light of my life — my everything. No Valentine’s Day is complete without you.”

You feel yourself tearing up. Even after the ordeal of this evening, he still looks at you like you hung the moon.

“You’re still the most beautiful Valentine I’ve ever had, you know that? A little swelling can’t hide that.” Charles brushes away your tears and pulls you close. “Rest now. I’ll be right here when you wake up.”

You nestle into his embrace, letting his warmth and steady heartbeat soothe you. As you drift off, you can’t help but marvel at how lucky you are to have this man. Even at your puffiest and most distressed, he thinks you’re beautiful.

No matter what surprises life throws at you, with Charles by your side you know everything will be okay. He loves you unconditionally — swollen lips, hospital visits, and all.

***

“Close your eyes,” you say to Charles as you lead him into the living room.

He laughs and covers his eyes with his hands. “What are you up to, mon amour?”

You grin, though he cannot see it. “You’ll have to wait and see.”

You guide him across the room, hands on his shoulders. He shuffles along, peeking through his fingers.

“No peeking!” You scold, and he squeezes his eyes shut again, smiling.

You position him in front of the coffee table. “Okay,” you say. “You can open your eyes now.”

Charles drops his hands. On the table sits a large gift-wrapped box with a massive red bow on top. His eyes go wide with surprise and delight.

“For me?”

You nod, bouncing on your toes excitedly. “Happy birthday!”

He pulls you into a tight hug. “You are too good to me, ma belle. Thank you.” Leaning down, he captures your lips in a sweet kiss.

You swat his shoulder playfully. “You don’t even know what it is yet! Open it.”

Charles grins and turns his attention to the present. He carefully unties the bow and lifts the lid on the box. Inside sits a sleek red bomber jacket with the Ferrari logo embroidered on the chest. He runs his fingers over the leather appreciatively.

“This is beautiful,” he murmurs.

“Look on the back,” you prompt.

Charles turns the jacket over. Across the back, in bold white letters, it reads: DADDY.

His eyes go wide again, and for a moment he just stands there gaping at the jacket. Then his eyes roll back in his head and he collapses to the floor in a dead faint.

“Charles!” You rush to his side, kneeling next to him on the plush carpet. Gently you pat his cheek, trying to rouse him. “Charles, wake up!”

After a few tense moments, his eyelashes begin to flutter. You breathe a sigh of relief as he opens his eyes.

“Wha … what happened?” He mumbles.

“You fainted, silly.”

You help him sit up slowly. He puts a hand to his head, still looking dazed.

“I had the strangest dream …” He trails off, glancing around the room. His gaze lands on the jacket lying nearby, and his eyes widen again.

“It wasn’t a dream,” you say softly.

Charles looks at you, lips parted in shock. “Then you … you’re …”

You furrow your brow in confusion. “I’m what?”

“Pregnant!” He exclaims. “We’re having a baby!”

Now it’s your turn for your eyes to go wide. “What? No! I’m not pregnant!”

Charles frowns, thoroughly bewildered. “But the jacket said … I thought it was your way of telling me we’re expecting.”

You can’t help but laugh. “Oh my goodness, no. The jacket is for a very different reason.”

He looks almost disappointed. “It is?”

You take his hands in yours. “I know you’ve been talking about getting a dog for months now, ever since you met Mimi.”

Comprehension begins to dawn on Charles’s face. “So the jacket …”

“Is for our new puppy!” You finish excitedly.

Charles’ face lights up. “You got me a dog? Really?”

You nod, grinning. “Really! I picked him up yesterday from the shelter. He’s the cutest little dachshund, white with brown spots. I’ve been keeping him at your brother’s so I could surprise you today.”

Charles whoops and tackles you in another ecstatic hug. You laugh as he covers your face in rapid, smacking kisses.

“This is the best birthday surprise ever!” He crows. “I can’t believe we’re finally getting a dog. And the jacket — it’s perfect!”

He grabs the bomber and shrugs it on over his t-shirt. It fits him flawlessly, the white lettering bold against the red.

Charles scrambles to his feet and rushes to the nearest mirror, twisting this way and that to admire himself. “I love it! Thank you, thank you!”

You stand and wrap your arms around him from behind, resting your chin on his shoulder. “I’m so glad. But you should really be thanking your new baby boy.”

Charles turns in your arms and cups your face in his hands. “Have I told you lately that you’re the best girlfriend in the world?”

You grin up at him. “Hmm, I don’t recall. Feel free to remind me.”

“You …” He punctuates each word with a kiss. “Are …” kiss “The …” kiss “Most …” kiss “Thoughtful …” kiss “Loving …” kiss “Girlfriend …” kiss “In …” kiss “The …” kiss “World.”

You pretend to swoon. “My, what a sweet talker you are.”

He chuckles and kisses you tenderly. When you break apart, his eyes are shining.

“So when do I get to meet our new baby?” He asks eagerly.

“Right now, if you want,” you say. “We can go pick him up from Lorenzo.”

Charles pumps a fist in the air. “Yes! I’m going to be the best dog dad ever, just you wait and see.” He crouches down and coos, “Who’s a good boy? Who’s a good boy?”

You pat his head playfully. “You’re a good boy.”

Taking your hand, he practically drags you out the door, babbling excitedly about names, beds, toys, and treats for the puppy the whole way to the car. Your heart swells watching his enthusiasm. You know that dog is going to be the most loved and cared for pup in the world.

When you arrive at his brother’s apartment, Charles bounds up to the front door ahead of you, unable to contain his excitement. Lorenzo opens it laughing, the wiggling brown and white puppy in his arms.

“Someone’s here to see you!” He says, handing the squirming bundle of fluff to Charles.

“Hello, hello!” Charles cuddles the puppy to his chest, his whole face alight with pure joy. The pup responds by licking every inch of Charles’ face he can reach.

Charles laughs delightedly. “Aren’t you just the sweetest boy? Yes you are!”

He looks up at you, eyes shining. “Thank you, mon cœur. This is the best gift I could have asked for.”

You lean in and scratch the puppy behind his silky ears. “Of course. Happy birthday, my love.”

As you walk back to the car, Charles cradling the puppy like a newborn, you know in your heart that your little family is one step closer to completion.

***

The race weekend after Charles’ birthday feels strange. As you wander through the Ferrari garage during free practice, Fred rushes over looking concerned.

“Here, take a seat,” the team principal says, grabbing a folding chair and positioning it behind you. “You should not be on your feet so much in your condition.”

You frown in confusion. “What condition?”

But the French man has already hurried away. Shaking your head, you continue walking. It’s a few minutes later that you spot Pierre.

“Hey!” He says, jogging up to you. Before you can react, he places both hands on your stomach and smiles brightly. “Wow, it’s hard to believe that little baby Leclerc is in there! I can’t wait to meet my niece or nephew.”

Now you’re really bewildered. You take a small step back from Pierre’s wandering hands. “What are you talking about? I’m not pregnant!”

Pierre laughs. “Very funny. You don’t have to hide it from me.” He winks and walks away.

When Charles finds you later, you’re still puzzling over the strange encounter.

“Everyone is acting so weird,” you tell him, explaining what’s been happening all day. "It’s like they all think I’m pregnant or something."

Charles frowns. “That is odd. Where would they get that idea?”

You shake your head. “I have no idea …”

Later, after the last practice session of the day, you wander into Ferrari hospitality for a quick cup of coffee. Carlos quickly spots you and makes a beeline over, cheeks flushed with excitement.

“I just saw the photos of Charles wearing his new jacket.” He says. “A mini Leclerc on the way, how wonderful! Congratulations to you both.”

“What? No, there’s no …” you start to protest, but Carlos is already walking away.

Charles comes up beside you, having overheard. “This is getting out of hand,” he mutters. “We need to clear this up.”

“I know!” You say. “I feel bad, they all seem so excited. They must think we’re hiding a pregnancy from them.”

An idea comes to you then. Turning to Charles, you say loudly, “Honey, why don’t we go introduce the baby to everyone? I know they’re all just dying to meet him!”

Charles catches on immediately, smiling slyly. “Of course! Let’s go get our little one right now.”

You nod, linking your arm through his. As you walk away, you hear gasps and murmurs behind you.

“They already had the baby? When did this happen?”

“I can’t believe they’ve been hiding it all this time!”

You have to stifle a laugh. Charles grins and squeezes your hand.

In his driver’s room, your puppy is napping contentedly on a plush dog bed. Charles scoops him up gently so as not to wake him. Cradling the pup, you both head back out to the hospitality suite.

Everyone turns to look at you eagerly as you enter. Carlos steps forward, craning his neck to see the bundle in Charles’ arms.

“Here he is!” You announce proudly. “Our baby boy!”

Charles turns so they can see the sleeping dachshund nestled against his bomber jacket. A shocked silence falls over the room.

“Wha … that’s not a baby!” Carlos splutters. “That’s a dog!”

You and Charles just shrug with matching sly smiles. “He’s our baby.”

As the puppy yawns and stretches in Charles’ arms, licking his chin affectionately, you know with certainty that your furry new addition will be showered with just as much love and adoration as you both share for one another.

Who could ask for anything more?

[erwinsvow]

𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐬

summary: how you and rafe got started <3

author's note: if i could stop losing my brain cells over rafe cameron for a minute that would be great but i can't so here it is <3 this is mostly cute but in the shea cinematic universe this establishes the beginning of what can only be a hopelessly codependent relationship <3 more parts to come! also none of this would be written without the surge of inspo i get from reading every single one of @princessbrunette's posts but in particular this one, this one, and this<3 one!

now spinning: one of the girls by the weeknd & jennie

Rafe’s always thought you were cute. 

Cute, he’d think to himself in passing, on a hot summer day when he was getting ready to take beers from the fridge and go find the boys at the country club. He didn’t need to steal anything, the waitress at the club always gave him whatever drink he asked for, but he just felt like taking them from the house today. 

You were dawdling around the house with a bored Sarah, all dressed up with nowhere to go. Sarah was texting on her phone, likely engaging in a virtual fight with Topper. He’d feel bad, but the two of them did it to themselves. You were at the counter with Wheezie, leaning on your elbows while the two of you discussed something. He didn’t really care, until he met your eyes for a second. 

Cute. The way you met his eyes and then looked away, face heating up. You were in a bikini and a coverup, probably waiting for his sister before spending the day on the beach or at the pool. The cover up was white and see through, covering everything to the point where no one could see anything but the faint yellow of your bikini underneath.

Leaning on the counter, when you looked away, he got a glimpse into the top of your dress. He could make out little yellow flowers on the material of your bikini and the outline of your tits squeezed against each other. 

He grabbed a beer and opened it with his back tooth, spitting the cap out on the counter next to Wheezie’s book.

“Ew, Rafe, get your spit molecules away from my book.”

“Who reads in the summer anyways? You should be glad for my spit if it makes you stop.”

“It’s my summer reading, Rafe, not everyone can just skip their assignments and get away with it.”

“Please, what have I skipped?”

You and Wheezie turn to look at each other and start laughing. He cracks a smile too, unexpectedly.

“Actually, it’s a great book. You’re missing out, Rafe,” you say, with a smile gracing your face, and he realizes he’s never actually heard the sound of your voice. You’ve maybe said hi to him twice, and both times Sarah had dragged you away within seconds. You even sound cute. His name on your tongue sounds even cuter.

“Really? Maybe I need to give it a try.” You laugh again, meeting his eyes this time. 

“You can’t have my copy, I already put my annotations in this one-“

“Stop yapping, Wheeze. I’m not gonna take yours.”

“Actually you have a copy in the library upstairs. I borrowed it last summer.”

“Really, kid? Wanna come find it with me?”

Your face heats up so much you turn away. He smiles then, and he smiles again when you follow him up to the library.

“This one is fantastic too, it’s about this young girl in England-” your voice continues to describe the plot of the book in your hand. You shelve it and then your eyes immediately land on another, another classic, another favorite. You ramble off the description but Rafe’s hardly paying attention.

He’s trying to recall when you had become so cute, so pretty. He thinks he’s never noticed you after you walk away with Sarah, or when he walks away from you two lounging on pool chairs, your nose in a book like always.

This is different. When had you become so irresistible?

Your pretty hair falls down your back. It sticks to your neck when the two of you are outside in the sun, in the heat. He has an urge to lick the sweat off just to see how you’d blush and feel how you’d squirm. Your eyes are warm and bright, but you’re still too shy to meet his blue ones, even when it’s just the two of you.

And it has been. Just the two of you, recently, almost all of the time. Sarah’s always off with her stupid friends and Wheeze is at home doing her summer work. 

The two of you travel to every ice cream parlor in the eight in the next few weeks. Conversation comes easily, even though you have nothing in common. He hasn’t picked up a bag from his dealer since he started talking to you, he realizes. Hasn’t felt the need to get high.

You’ve never even smoked weed, much less snorted coke. You’ll drink at a party with Sarah, but not too much, and you always end up being the sober friend holding back the vomiting girl’s hair. At the bonfire that he invites you to, your eyes keep darting around, seeing if anyone needs your help. 

Rafe moves so he’s standing right in front of you, blocking your view.

“Hey, kid,” he says quietly, leaning in. You’re boxed in, with Rafe and only Rafe on your mind. The clean, attractive scent of his cologne. The way it lingers on his clothes, like the button up you’re wearing over your pink dress.

He picks up the red cup in your hand and places it on the log beside you, balancing his beer next to it. His hands are cold from the bottle but you don’t mind much. He takes your wrists first, holding them in place, and then slides down so your hands are touching. 

“What’s going on in that pretty head of yours?” You were looking down at the hands, where the two of you were connected, but his voice makes you look up. He’s looking at you, and you want to hide your face. Your fingers twitch beneath Rafe’s grip. He holds on even tighter. “Don’t look away, princess. We gotta work on that, huh?”

You feel your face heating up at the nickname. You wish you were home so you could scream into your pillow.

“Sorry, sorry,” you scramble, trying to look up but you can’t find the strength or the will.

You’re embarrassed. Of course you are—this is Rafe, and you’re just you. Rafe is the one you’ve had a crush on since you knew what crushes were, and you are still the awkward little thing you were the first time you met him. 

His gaze burning holes through you makes you want to run and hide. Because this is Rafe, and right now you’re one of his girls. The ones Sarah’s complained about the whole time she’s known you—they get too attached, act all clingy, and then are replaced before long. 

You hear Rafe’s quiet laughter. You’re still boxed in, feeling hot and clammy even though he’d given you his button up not thirty minutes ago because you felt cold. 

“What’re you saying sorry for?” You look up quickly, and then look back down. Then Rafe’s hands leave yours, and he holds up your chin until you’re looking right into his eyes. “Hmm?”

You feel like puking. 

“I-I just, well I just-”

“You just what?”

“I don’t think I can be, um, be one of your flingy, uh fling-type girls. So, you know, maybe all of this isn’t a good idea.”

“Fling-type girls?” he questions. He’s holding back a laugh, which makes you irrationally upset. You shove hard against his chest to free yourself from the cage of his arms. 

“Yes, your fling-type girls. You have a new girl on your arm every week, and everyone knows it, and I refuse to be one of them, because it’s just embarrassing and dehumanizing,” he watches you ramble on. He smiles, but you don’t notice. “And frankly, I deserve better than that.”

“Are you done?” You glare back at him.

“Yes, and not because you said that. I was done anyway.”

“Good.” Your face drops for a second, thinking you overstepped and totally overreached regarding his intentions, but then Rafe surprises you—he leans in and kisses you. 

You weren’t expecting a playground peck, but the way he’s kissing you completely surpasses any and all expectations (and fantasies) you’d dreamt up. His grip on your hips is hard, and his tongue is almost down your throat. It’s messy, and wet, and when he pulls away, there’s strings of spit connecting you to each other. 

You should wipe your mouth before anyone sees, but you don’t. Your heart is racing, and you can barely speak, much less move. 

“If I wanted you to be one of my girls, I wouldn’t have spent the last three weeks listening to you blab about books and buying you ice cream. You’re gonna be my only girl, and that’s that, okay?”

You nod dumbly—words and motions still not quite back yet. You feel flushed. People’s eyes are on you both.

“Now, do you wanna head out and go get a cone?” You nod again. “Good girl. And watch your mouth.”

[imshymorph]

Here’s soft!price, i’m sure you missed him or at least i did. Of course as soon as i say i’ll write and post about ghost i get ideas for everyone and their mother and write those instead.

I believe that sometimes, when John is away for a mission and struggles to fall asleep, he thinks back to moments in your relationship.

Like now, it had been at least an hour since he had left the rec room where the rest of the task force had been chatting after supper. He had gotten ready for bed and finally found a comfortable position. And yet here he was, still awake despite how tired he really felt.

And just like any other time he had the chance to, he let himself think of you. First he was thinking about how you'd probably be knocked out by now, for sure falling asleep while the two of you watched a movie on the couch and cuddled.

- - - - -

How he'd pause it so you wouldn't miss anything, pick you up carefully to not wake you and carry you to bed. Hold you close and pull the covers around you both before pressing a kiss to your forehead and whispering a soft "i love you".

A little amused smile appeared on his lips when those three little words made him jump onto a different memory. One that you referred to as "the unofficial first i love you".

It had started when John received a call from the hospital, not giving the nurse the chance to say more than your name and at what desk he should ask to see you before he was fleeing base and coming to you (even if at that time you hadn’t been together for that long).

To this day you defend how overly dramatic he was, sure you had been in the ER, but it had been "just" because of a minor concussion. You had wanted to snack on some chocolate covered almonds while watching your show, but when you went to get them you had realised the little container had been pushed to the farthest part of the cupboard. Even in your tiptoes, your fingers only grazed the container, not getting enough of a grip to pull it forward.

Determined to have your snack you had gotten a step stool (which John had been happy to hear because he had worked really hard on getting rid of your dumb habit of climbing on the counter). What you hadn’t noticed was that the damned kitchen faucet had been leaking again. So when you got on it and leaned forward, the stool slid back, the movement making you bend forward and smack your head on the cupboard’s edge. After feeling dizzy you had called for a cab and gotten to the ER. And there you were, waiting for him to pick you up.

He had gotten leave for the first few days and kept to deskwork for a couple weeks after to make sure he was available were anything else to happen. He was glad he had done so, as the first week had mainly been you on bedrest with a killer headache, feeling dizzy nearly every time you sat up, almost nauseated whenever you had to walk to the bathroom.

He now was able to admit to himself without guilt that, despite how much he hated the circumstances (the faucet didn’t have the chance to be leaky again from then until you moved in together to the house you now share. And your step stools have grippy stickers on the feet) he loved the perfect excuse it gave him to baby you and hold you all day. Which had led to the memory that made him smile every time.

“John, I'm bored… Talk to me about something.” You murmured, your head resting on the crook of his neck to shield your eyes from the light that managed to filter through the curtains. “Anything, really.”

“Hmm, let me think.” He murmured, his gruff and low voice surprisingly being of help with your headache, giving you something to focus on instead of the pain. “I actually thought about this last week… You haven’t been to France, have you? Maybe when you recover we could plan a weekend trip to Paris.”

He couldn’t help but smile when he heard you chuckle, although it withered a bit when a small pained whimper followed, the pair flaring at the effort. “I’m okay.” You reassured almost instantly, “I just hadn’t expected the topic to be France.”

A low chuckle left him as well, “well, you said I could talk about anything, love.” He justified it with a small self-pleased smile before pressing a kiss on your forehead. “Need me to bring anything to help with the pain?”

“No, it’s fine.” You reassured softly, adjusting a bit in his arms. “Don’t change topics now, you were promising to take me on a trip.” you say lightheartedly, earning a small laugh from him. “I’m making a big effort here to recover, I better get something good after.”

He chuckled again, one hand moving to rub your back, making you smile against his neck. “Making the effort for me or for the trip, doll?” He teased, but he froze when your answer came, his heart beating faster than he could admit and the warmth on his cheeks luckily hidden by his beard.

“For you, of course.” It had been so simple, and yet he had to stare at the ceiling for a full minute to recover from it, feeling like his heart could jump out of his chest at any moment. And before he could realise, he had gently held your chin and pulled back a bit to look you in the eye.

“I hope you don’t tease me for the rest of our lives for saying this now, but… I love you, I love you so much.” His words had left in a soft murmur, his eyes matching your widening ones as you both processed the moment.

A small shaky breath left you and despite your prominent headache you lunged forward, pressing your lips to his in what he still considered one of the best kisses he had ever received (the list was pretty long but all of them classified after the one on your wedding). “I love you too.” you had said softly as you pulled back, just to immediately slap his shoulder. “But why tell me now, you twat. I’m stuck in bed, we can’t do anything cute like a date night.”

It had caused him to chuckle then and it did now as he adjusted his pillow and pulled the covers a little higher. The official version according to you was a month later, when you both had snuck away for a weekend to the Paris trip he had promised. You had planned an incredibly cliché day out but pretty much none of it had worked out when a storm had drenched the whole city. Somehow you had found yourself taking cover in a quaint and cosy jazz club where you had spent all night chatting away in a small booth.

He could still remember the adoring look in your eyes when he had turned back to you after ordering new drinks for you both. And when you had leaned in and said those three little words, he had known he had been right to say it a month before. His heart soaring and his whole body thrumming in delight when he whispered it back before kissing you.

With a soft smile and a quiet murmur of I love you, John passed his thumb over the wedding band that hung around his neck along with his dog tags before finally falling asleep.

[jazminrhode1]

What Went Wrong? Chris Sturniolo x Reader One Shot

Summary: Chris calls you on a dare to ask what went wrong.

Words: 763 words

“Hey, y/n” he said when you answered the phone. Chris was filming a video with his brothers and was dared to give you a call.

You hadn’t spoken to him since you broke up. No matter how much you wanted to call him, you never did.

“I got dared to call an ex and ask what went wrong…” he explained. A smile tugged at the corner of your lips. You could hear in his voice that he was a little uncomfortable.

“What went wrong?” you asked. “Basically, why did your relationship end,” Nick clarified.

You hadn’t thought about it in a while. No matter how amicable the split was, you loved him and you never really quite came to terms with it being over between you two.

“You don’t have to…” Chris said. You felt the sincerity in his voice.

“No, it’s ok,” you replied, thinking about what to say.

“I don’t think anything necessarily went wrong,” you began, “all good things come to an end.”

Chris was nodding on the other end of the phone. He didn’t realize how much he missed you until this very moment. Hearing your voice was bringing back so many memories for him and he felt a little overwhelmed.

“I think that even though it ended, that relationship wasn’t a failure. Not for me anyway,” you said.

“No,” Chris assured, “not for me either.”

“We were young, you know? And I still look back and consider myself so lucky to have spent all of my high school years with you,” you explained.

A smile tugged at the corner of Chris’ lips as he covered his eyes with his hat. He had loved you since pre-k and when you split, no matter how mutual the decision was, he still lost his best friend.

“All of my best memories from high school have you in them. And, they’re not ruined because we broke up… They’re 10 times better because they were with you,” you said, "I have no regrets about dating you."

You hadn’t told him that before. There were a lot of things that you regretted not saying and you were glad to have the opportunity to say them now.

You waited to hear if he was going to respond but, you pictured him on the other side of the phone hiding his face and trying to keep his shit together. He might have acted tough but, he wasn’t good at this kind of thing.

“I still remember that road trip we took to Portland with your family,” you started. “Oh my god, I forgot about that. Do you remember when Matt ran over the squirrel and cried for like, 2 hours?” Chris asked. "It was like 5 minutes," Matt argued.

You could hear Nick and Matt laughing in the background. Their voices were getting more and more distant. You figured that Chris was done with the video and was heading to his room.

The thought that their life in LA was so foreign to you made you kind of sad. Even when you broke up, you promised that you’d always be friends or, at least, you’d always stay in touch. You knew that you could have made more of an effort, and in the beginning, you both did, but it was hard to go back to being friends after a relationship like that.

You stayed on the phone for hours, reminiscing about young love. You talked about dancing in parking lots and making out in breakrooms at your high school jobs. You remembered picnics in your Dad’s pickup truck and Valentine's Day dates in minivans. You laughed about corny pickup lines and awful date ideas. But, mostly, you remembered how much you loved each other and laughed at yourselves for thinking that young love lasted forever.

“Hey… thanks for calling,” you said. It was 2 a.m. and you had to go. You wanted to stay and talk to him all night like you used to do when you were 16. You wanted to know that when you hung up, he’d be outside ready to pick you up for school. You wanted to go back in time and fall in love with him all over again. But, this good thing came to an end.

“I sometimes want to call you but, it never feels like the right time,” you said. “Call” he whispered, “whenever you want to. I’m here… I’m always going to be here,” Chris said.

Before you hung up, he paused just to say “I still love you, y/n”. “I still love you too”, you replied.

[lunajay33]

Just Us🩶Part.5

Summary: In a world full of walkers y/n was able to escape with her best friend, but maybe that friendship turns into something more

Pairing: Carl Grimes x f!reader

A/n: This story starts when the group is on the road after Terminus but I’m gonna make y/n and Carl 18 just to speed along the story!! This is also my first Carl Grimes series! This story includes 18+ scenes, pregnancy and more

Part.4

•Masterlist•

After finding out I was pregnant yesterday I’ve been nothing but uneasy and a sense of panic, Carl on the other hand was rainbows and sunshine, last night he feel asleep with his head on my hip talking to my belly it was cute but that’s not where my head state was at

I was up in bed as Carl was out helping around the community as it was later in the day around noon, Carl had brought us breakfast in bed saying I should rest but I was glad because I didn’t have the motivation or mental energy to get up and face the others

There was a knock on my door and in came Daryl closing the door behind him as he leaned against it

“Hey, ya doin alright” he asked with his gruff voice

“I don’t know, I’m just worried but Carl is so excited, I’m scared I won’t be a good mother or that I won’t even be able to be a mother” I said as the panic grew stronger

He crossed the room and sat next to me

“Hey yer gonna be fine, I’m scared too but we’re safe now and I ain’t gonna let nothin happen to ya”

“Thanks Daryl” I said leaning my head on his shoulder

I was sitting on the porch as the sun was lowering in the sky, a plate of strawberries in my lap that Daryl got me before he left on a run, our little talk earlier had calmed my nerves a bit and now I just wanted to see Carl now

As if my thoughts were heard he rounded the street and once he saw me picked up his pace soon sitting right next to me

“Hey baby I missed you today” he said wrapping his arm around my waist, pulling me close and kissing my cheek

“I missed you too, what did you do today?” I asked looking at the bag he had in his hand

“Oh Maggie and I were cleaning up one of the houses and we found some things” he opened the bag pulling out a pink and blue stripped baby onesie, some baby bottles, a little yellow beanie and another onesie that matched

“Oh Carl I love them, they’re so cute, I love you Carl and this baby is so lucky to have you as their dad” I said taking his jaw and pulling him into a passionate kiss feeling my hormones work up again

“Woah baby calm down I don’t know if we should go there just yet, not until we know it’s safe from Denise” he said brushing my hair back

“Ugh fine but before that we need to come clean to Rick and Michonne I can’t keep this in much longer, maybe have Maggie and Glenn there too”

“Maggie said her and Glenn are coming over tonight for supper seems like the best time plus we will have Daryl there to help if dad gets crazy”

“Ya well let’s hope it doesn’t get to that”

Everyone was home now as we all worked on setting up the table, mixing the salad, Rick cooking steak from a cow we found, just waiting on Glenn and Maggie to walk through the door

“Hey you ready” Carl asked as he wrapped his arms around me from behind

“Yes as long as I have you by my side” he leaned my head back and gave me a gentle kiss when we heard the front door open and in they came

We all settled at the table, Rick at the head Michonne at the other, Carl was sat next to me with Daryl across from us, Maggie next to Carl and Glenn next to Daryl, we picked up our food and started eating when I felt Daryl nudge my leg under the table leaning his head towards Rick

I set my fork down and held carls hand as I cleared my throat catching everyone attention

“So ummmm…..me and Carl have something to tell you all” I said feeling my heart pound looking at Carl for him to continue for me

“We only found out yesterday and we know we’re young but, y/ns pregnant” the room was eerily quiet nobody said a thing and just looked at us except for Daryl

Rick dropped his fork hearing it cling against his plate

“Are you kidding me, what did I tell you both” he said with anger in his voice

“I’m sorry we didn’t mean to it just kind of…..happened”

“This is your fault y/n Carl was fine before you got together and now we’re gonna have to deal another baby and you might not even be there to help” my heart sank as he said all my fears

“Rick that’s enough” Michonne glared as Daryl was also

“We know it’s not ideal but I’m happy to have a baby with the girl I love most in this world” Carl said as he wiped my tears away that I didn’t even know had fallen

“I’m sorry” I said getting up and going down to my room

Carls POV

“Come on dad why would you be so hard on her it’s not her fault and we aren’t kids” I said feeling extremely angry and protective

“Rick she’s scared and you just confirmed her fears, she needs us, she ain’t got parents we’re all she’s got” Daryl said moving food around on his plate

Dad got up and left out the front door Michonne following quickly after him

“Congrats Carl, you’re going to be a great dad” Maggie said smiling from next to me

“Thanks Maggie”

“The best thing you can do for her is support her we know how much you both love eachother and it’s crazy to see you both grow having watch you be kids together but this kids gonna have the best parents” Glenn said lightening my mood

“Plus a baby between you and her it’s gonna be adorable” Maggie giggled obviously excited for us

Normal POV

I laid on the bed feeling my heart shrivel and the tears fall quickly

“Oh baby please don’t cry” I jumped sitting up not realizing Carl came in

“He’s right Carl I thought we could be okay but have I ruined us have I made your life worse?”

“What no never, I’ve told you baby you’re my world you’re the reason I wake up everyday and the reason I look forward to a better day and a happier life, you gave me a reason to love and this baby is gonna have such a strong,caring and beautiful mother, please don’t stop fighting” he said as his own tears fell as he rubbed my arms

“Okay Carl I’ll be stronger…….we’re gonna have a baby” I said finally feeling happy about it

“We’re gonna have a baby” Carl said smiling as he tackled me down to the bed and held me close

Taglist: @carlsdarling @eiirqgi

[xoxochb]

Leo x fem!reader first kiss

⋆·˚ ༘ * when you know, you know

warnings: this might be rushed?

pairing: leo valdez x fem! reader

leo had been away for weeks. a stupid quest he accepted, and now you worry. the question was scheduled to be only a week, but it’s been almost a month at this point and you were worried something bad happened to him

you stayed up many nights worrying about the boy. where had he gone, what had happened, was he dead? you pushed the last thought away as much as possible, however recently many people had started a rumor that he was dead and it got harder to keep the thought from entering your mind

by the fourth week it had been sixteen days without sleep, eyes wide, mind racing. some nights you wrote down your thoughts, sometimes you cried, some nights you even did as much as waited by the border for his arrival, which was tonight’s rotation. you check the time on your watch which displays 5:47

campers would be waking soon and your presence at the camp entrance would have been concerning to other people. you make your way back to your cabin, you wouldn’t be eating breakfast anyways, the nausea from the thought of leo being dead was enough to prevent you from eating as long as you hadn’t been sleeping

the day went on like normal, you lay in bed, you get bored, you take a walk, you bother mr. d (he wouldn’t admit to anyone that he had enjoyed your visits), you stop by the infirmary, then you head back to bed. today your walk was interrupted by will solace running at you

“will?”

he stops in front of you out of breath, he holds a finger up to indicate he needs a moment and you wait until he’s ready

“come with me” is all he says, he grabs your hand and pulls you with him

“where are we going?” you ask breathlessly

why is he always running?!

he stops at the closed doors of the infirmary “okay before we go in here I want to tell you, one: not to freak, two: he is in perfectly good health, and three: please don’t do a whole ‘oh I missed you so much let’s kiss’ all that stuff, you know? It’s an infirmary, not cabin ten”

“just let me in, idiot!”

he mutters a few curses before opening the door. you take a step in and you’re immediately met with your beloved leo valdez. you waste no time in pulling him in for a bone-crushing hug

a part of your heart was healed in that moment. tears flow from your eyes, but you quickly stop yourself and pull away, an angry look on your face. leo would have said it was hot but a) you weren’t dating, it wouldn’t be appropriate and b) he was unsure if you wanted to rip him to shreds or not

“where were you? you had me scared to death! I had my doubts about you even coming back. If you ever do that again I swear to every god I know I will murder you in your sleep”

he nods “noted”

“I’m serious, leo, I was worried about you” you put your hands on his shoulders

“glad to know I have someone that cares about me as much as you do”

your eyes meet his cordiform ones and for a moment you thought about risking your friendship, luckily you were beat to the task:

“are we about to kiss right now?”

“you cannot be serious”

“I never joke”

you think: is this really the boy you’re in love with? but you know the answer. It’s the same boy who always worries about you, the one that’s always making trinkets for you, the one with the biggest heart you know. yes, this is the boy you’re in love with

“I guess we are” you slide your hands around his neck and pull him in for a long-awaited kiss

who cares what will says at this point? you were kissing the boy you loved and nothing has ever felt better than this

[laniluvsuu]

Open

Basketball player!Ony x Overthinkingblackfemreader!

Didn’t proofread like usual y’all…

When your boyfriend first told you that you two were gonna be apart, specially across the ocean from each other. You were nervous, though you loved him and trusted him, something just still made you feel so uneasy about it.

As soon as Ony landed safely, and got into his hotel he called you. “Hey ma! I just landed, I’m in my hotel. This shit hard ngl.” He said smiling while explored around his hotel room.

“Hi baby. I’m glad you landed safely. Send me pics of your room later!” You said curious to see what his room looks like since he’s so excited about it. But more importantly you wanted to know what he was gonna do now.

“Sooo..whatchu gon do now?” You asked a little nervous for his response. You heard a lot of shuffling before Ony responded.

“Mmm I gotta go out with coach and the guys in a little, but after that imma be in here f’the rest of the night.” Ony said after dropping his luggage into his closet, picking out the clothes he was gonna wear out.

“Mm okay, well call me back when you’re back in baby.” You said tryna let him go so he can get ready.

“What? Why you tryna hang up on me mama?” Ony asked you confused now with his head in the camera frame. Y’all never hung up when the other was getting ready.

“Ion know…just wanna let you get ready.” You mumbled over the phone to him. Lowkey cheesing when you saw his confused face in the camera frame, only because he couldn’t see you’re face since yours was off.

“No need f’that.” Ony said as he started getting ready. You both stayed on the phone the entire time. Once he was done you two said your goodbyes, and you started thinking again. Thinking about what if he got curious and caught up in the moment. Thinking about what if tequila grabbed his neck and said “Don’t bitch up.”

So you gave in and called him. And told him how you were feeling, how uneasy you were about the whole situation. Tears threatening to fall out of your eyes while you expressed your feelings to him.

“Stop it wit that shit baby. I gotchu mama. I promise you, I didn’t come over here to play around with some other girl. I came over here to work and better myself. To help build our future life together baby, I really wish you would’ve told me how you felt before mama. Could’ve got your stubborn ass a flight with me.” Ony expressed to you as he leaned outside the bathroom bar wall waiting for your response. Once he heard you chuckle a little bit at the last thing he said he felt better.

“Mmhm you right.” You said wiping the tears that managed to fall out of your eyes. His words made you feel better, they made your heart flutter. The question that you had in his trust was completely gone and you felt bad for even having to question it. “I’m sorry baby..I feel bad now.” You said to him.

“Don’t apologize baby. I just need you to trust me. Can you do that f’me until I get back mama?” Ony said smiling and waiting for your response.

I don’t like this one. Might redo..lmk what y’all think tho. Anyways I love Coco Jones been loving her since miss roxie!!!

[qirongshusband]

Hellooo, can you make a ftm! Reader x Toji comfort where reader has been feeling down due to dysphoria and feels he’s not enough for Toji and Toji notices this and comforts him abt it?

Feel free to delete/ignore this! :3

Also, i lof ur writings

⋆˚࿔ 🌊 . 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

Note ~ of course! Thank you so much, I’m glad you like them! (^○^) DM me if you want any changes or smth please! I just wrote off what I thought would be short and sweet💔

MENTIONS — Fluff/Comfort, SFW, FTM!Reader, body dysmorphia, overthinking.

✦•┈๑⋅⋯ ⋯⋅๑┈•✦

You and Toji had plans to go out to a friend of yours party, it wasn’t anything major just a hangout for friends. As you were getting ready you looked at yourself in the mirror, placing your hands on your face feeling..icky about yourself. You began judging yourself, feeling like you didn’t look manly enough, how you felt like you didn’t fit into the male standards. You then began to start overthinking if Toji even loved you for you or if he thought you were just some ‘girl’ and not really a man. You were thinking the worst as those thoughts started to flood your head.

As you looked at yourself once more you viewed your body and even tried talking to yourself to hear your voice, you felt like you didn’t sound like a man enough. Like you weren’t enough for Toji in general, you sat on the floor burying your face into your hands as big tears fell down onto your hands. You were crying..shit after all that effort of getting ready to..that didn’t really matter to you though, you just wanted to be reassured that you were just over thinking and that you are a man. You are something.

To Toji you are his everything, you may not think it or may think poorly on yourself but he really does love you. You didn’t notice it until you felt Toji behind you wrapping his arms around you laying his head on your shoulder, he was looking at you with a slightly concerned voice but he suddenly spoke in a calm quiet tone, “hey, it’s okay. ‘m here, tell me what’s wrong.” He’d bring you in a tight embrace looking at you waiting for a response, he didn’t rush you but he wanted to know what was wrong with his boyfriend so he sat there patiently holding you into his arms as you then spoke in a awfully quiet, bothered, sad tone..

“I just uh..I don’t feel like i’m right. I feel out of place. My body I mean..I uh..” you paused mid sentence looking down, your breath was a bit shaky as you were still crying trying to keep your composure. You opened your mouth to speak once more but nothing came out, your mouth was left open, agape. He was also quiet, you then broke the silence by explaining how you felt, “I feel like you don’t really view me as a man like..no one does. I just look at myself and feel so disappointed. It’s tiring.” You slowly looked up at him, “I’m not good enough for you, I feel like I don’t really belong I’m just here for..no reason?”

The room was quiet for a few minutes after you had spoke, he gave you some time to think and calm down a little before he spoke softly. “No reason? I love ya’ very much, Y/N. Looking at you makes me happy knowing I’m dating such a handsome man.” He brushed your hair out of your face as he wiped any tears you had on your face, “I don’t care what ya’ are or want to be, I’ll b’ here for you. I don’t tend to say it much..I show it through action more than my words.” He loosened himself around you as he stood up and helped you get up, he looked at you with a serious genuine look, “we don’t have to attend that party with your friend, I want to spend time with you, is that okay?”

You nodded looking at him with a slight smile feeling a bit better but had some doubts about yourself but before you could even finish your thoughts he spoke up again just to reassure you to make sure he didn’t miss anything, “you are very worth it to me, I assure you there ‘s nothing wrong with ya’, you are just feeling doubt and down about yer’self and I understand. Though I may not understand yer struggle I understand it can be hard for you. And that’s perfectly fine, but you aren’t a girl, I don’t see you that way, at all.” He placed his hand on the side of your face and then kissed your cheek.

✦•┈๑⋅⋯ ⋯⋅๑┈•✦

[lillyspeakz]

reader greeting wilbur at the airport after a tour. when he first spots you he practically runs to you. he’s tired and clingy and hasn’t seen you in soooo long

hello! I loved this concept and I hope I wrote it well, I’m sorry this took a longer time, but I hope you enjoy!

warnings: fluff!!!!!

-

The boys had been on tour in the US for a couple months now, having played at festivals and all around the country. You sadly couldn’t go with them due to work and bad timing, but you did fly out to a show or two if you could. Even then, it’s been a month and some time since you’ve seen Wilbur in person, the FaceTime calls and small conversations hanging you both over till he was home.

Tom had made fun of you both for being so clingy towards each other, even when you were thousands of miles apart. He’d text Wilbur saying how gloomy you were and how you wouldn’t stop talking about him, and he’d also complain to you about how Wilbur would ask why you weren’t answering him when he knew you were with Tom and some friends. He just wanted to talk to you as much as he could.

You both pushed his comments away, only worried about the other and hoping someday soon you can see each other. So when Wil told you that they had one more show and he’d be home, you were ecstatic! You’d be able to see him in less than 48 hours.

To say you were a tad nervous was an understatement. You hadn’t seen him properly in a while, haven’t felt his touch and the warmth of his body and it made you ache for it. You did know what you’d do once you saw him, but all you knew was you were excited to be in the same room as him again.

As you stood in the airport, waiting to see at least someone from the group, hoping it’d be the tall brunette. Sadly your hopes were shattered as you saw Ash and Mark walking towards you with their luggage, Joe and David following close behind.

As they spotted you, they all gave you tired smiles and waves. You hugged all of them, knowing that they didn’t really want to socialize with the jet lag and how crazy everything has been. But you all silently knew they were all glad to be back and ready to rest before grinding again.

Turning back around, you finally saw him. He was stood a few feet away, looking at you with the most relieved look ever, a small smile on his face as his eyes took you in. You smiled back at him as tears started to rise in your eyes. You let out a laugh as he waved at you, walking up to him as you threw your arms around his neck and hid your face in his chest.

His arms engulfed you in their hold as he dropped his bag on the floor and pulled you as close to him as he could. His hand held the back of your head, as one rested around your waist.

“Oh my darling, how I’ve missed you.” He whispered out to you, his face hidden behind your hair. He held onto you tightly, still trying to grasp that you were actually in front of him.

You both didn’t realize how hard and lonely the long distance had been until now, all of the things that made you mad or sad or feel lonely was all because you didn’t have your person beside you. It didn’t feel right until now.

Pulling away, Wilbur cupped your face in his hands and wiped a stray tear that fell from your face, smiling down at you as you giggled. Leaning down , Wil softly placed his lips on yours in a much needed kiss. The kiss was indescribable, so many emotions and feelings going into that one kiss. Holding onto his forearms, you rubbed his wrist as he continued to kiss you, neither of you wanting to let go yet.

“Ok, can we do this later? I would like to get home sometime soon.” Joe commented as Wilbur pulled away and flipped him off, a laugh escaping the boys lips.

“Yeah yeah. Let’s go, love. Once we get the whiney children home, we can take a much needed nap yes?” Wil asked you, silent hope shining through his eyes.

“Yes. Yes we can.” You said, laughing as he fist pumped the air in excitement.

-

Bonus;

“Hey! The chat wants to see you.” Tommy said as he came into the editing room that was part of his office. Wil had been editing the newest episode for Sorry since we was back and had time to do it, leading you to be dragged with him for moral support.

“Ooo yeah!” You said as you went to get up, but was quickly met with arms around your waist and a groan coming from behind you and a head hiding in your neck. “Once I get this little guy off me.” Wil groaned at the nickname but didn’t protest.

“Wil, man! It’s been a week! They won’t disappear if they’re not with you for five seconds.” Tommy complained as he waited for Wil to let you go and let you come with him.

“But I had them first.” Wil whined, pulling you tighter against him as you ran your hand through his hair, loving how close you were in the moment.

“I’ll only be a minute or two ok? I won’t be long.” You whispered to him as he looked at you with a small pout.

“Promise?”

“Promise.” You said back as he huffed and looked at the blonde.

“You have 5 minutes max! Anymore than that and I’m stealing them away again.” Wil pointed a finger at Tom as he held his hands up in a defensive manner.

“Jeez man! It’s not me who wants them! Tell chat that!”

“Tell chat for me?” Wil asked as he looked at me.

“Always.”

taglist: @ivvees-blog @horny-p0et

[pursuitseternal]

#1 and #20 for Astarion X Reader 😫🫣

“Wait to start begging… Use my thigh…”

UA Spawn x f!Reader | smut asks

CW: semi-public sex

You had the Elfsong all to yourselves. You had, of course, to tidy up the common spaces and see to having the party’s meal prepared. But aside from Withers who remained in his corner, basically dead, there wasn’t a soul around you.

Just you and your Vampire spawn.

He was enjoying the sun on the little balcony that shot off your suite of rooms. It looked out toward the graveyard, but even that seemed to make him smile. He smirked wistfully in the direction of his grave, the same one he had shown you.

The same one he had fucked you on…. Maybe that’s why he was smiling so cheekily.

“Hello my sweet,” he murmured without even turning as you joined him on the balcony. He leaned over the rail, bathing in the afternoon sun that slatted over the roofs around the tavern. His elbows rested on the wrought iron, the seabreeze kicking up the silver curls of his head in lazy swirls. “Care to join me?” he asked tenderly, opening his arm to you, bidding you to sweep into his arms.

Sweep you did. Nestled in the circle of his embrace he held you against him as he looked out over the city. The sun warmed both your skins now, the breezes playing in your hair, tickling over your cheek. His cool digits pulled your loose strands off your face to tuck it behind your ear. “You know, darling, for as much as I will miss the sun again someday, how I’ll miss feeling its warmth over my skin, I’m glad I have you. You’ll keep me warm, won’t you, my dear?”

His lips pursed and peppered kisses behind your ear, lowering down your neck to the crest of your bare shoulder.

“You always do like it when I’m… gentle, when I feel inclined to worship every inch of your smooth skin.” He chuckled, his chest pressed against you hard enough to make the waves of his voice rumble between your own ribs. Cool fingertips wound into your hair, caressing you and teasing…

Until they gripping hard against your scalp and yanked you around to face him.

Gods, he was delicious and devilish, smirking at you with wicked delight. “But… since we are alone, it would be a shame to waste this time being romantic and quiet and cooing. Withers doesn’t count. He won’t hear a thing, the old coot.” A flurry of lips and fangs on your mouth, his tongue danced with yours to coax a sweet loud moan from within you.

“That’s it, darling, show me how much you want me,” he rasped between your lips.

“Gods, please Astarion,” you gasped, breathless and aching.

But he only laughed. “Oh my sweet, pleading already? Save the begging for when I’m balls deep inside you…”

He pulled you close, that distinct press of his hardened cock into your belly making your heart accelerate. And the smile on his face meant he heard it too. He braced you against the high wrought iron railing, its top edge cutting into your back almost through the fabric of your dress. Those sinfully supple leathers pushed between your legs, hands rucking your skirts higher and higher until it wrapped around your hips.

You were naked beneath, used to these little stolen moments with you and your charming, demanding, loving Rogue.

“Such a good girl,” he praised, shifting to push his thigh against your bare mound, “now… use my thigh, get good and ready if you plan to start begging and pleading, my sweet.”

The cool leather warmed quickly against your folds, the smoothness giving you the most minimal of friction. So you bucked harder, faster, chasing your relief by bearing all your weight on the cords of muscles and the bone of his leg beneath. Your hands clawed into the soft, well-loved linen of his tunic, clutching firmly around his waist.

But it still wasn’t enough. “Please,” you begged again, looking into those devilishly glinting crimson orbs. “It’s not enough…” you whined as you slid on his slick leather pants.

Astarion giggled, a small testament to just how much he was enjoying your torment. “Then I’ll be merciful, but only because I hunger for more.” Gods, what a strong, well-fed vampire could do…. Not even a sigh of relief from your lips, and he had spun you right around. Hard stone wall replaced the metal edges of the railing, and his cool, hardworking fingers took the place of his thigh.

You moaned, head pressing into unrelenting brick and mortar. Unraveling, you came in an embarrassingly short amount of time, just a few thrusts of his fingers and a couple pinches of your clit. Arousal seeped down your legs, making them slick as he grabbed around them, raising you up.

You didn’t even know when he freed himself. Right now, all you knew was the blunted tip of his cock pressing inside you, slowly filling you up, inch by tantalizing inch. He laughed as he stretched you open, his lips sucking on your ear. “Balls deep,” he rasped. “Now… start begging, my darling…”

Astarion fic Masterlist | My Ko-fi

[babymetaldoll]

Are you mine? - Chapter four: "I've lost a friend"  

Summary: Spencer has to go back to work after Raven was born and (Y/N) has a bad feeling about it.  Word count: 7.883 Warnings: Criminal minds case info, shootings, swearing, and fluff, the usual.  A/N: Hey! Thank you for reading! I love this chapter 'cos I love writing about Spencer's life as a dad. Of course he has a million pictures of his babies on his desk, and he loves spoiling them. He is the best dad ever! how do you picture Spencer as a dad? 

Series' Masterlist - Author's masterlist

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Spencer’s point of view

I didn’t want to be back at work. I wanted to be home with my wife and kid. I missed them both terribly the whole time, and there were not enough pictures on my desk to help me cope with those feelings. I kept texting (Y/N) during the day, and it was relieving to know she and my mom were there to help her with Raven and keep her company. 

Did you know that during the seventh week of life, a baby can track a moving object with their eyes? I was missing Raven learning how to follow us walking around the room. And her hands were almost completely open, so she was ready to start grabbing hair, or even blankets. I was gonna miss that for catching psychopaths.  

- “Spence! I missed you! Welcome back!”- JJ said as he hugged me the second I walked out of the elevator. She caught me completely by surprise. 

- “Hey, JJ! Thanks! How are you?”- I tapped her back and looked around. Garcia was there, holding a bowl filled with homemade bird-shaped cookies and Derek waved. 

- “And how is my little goddaughter? And my beautiful munchkin?”- Pen asked as she hugged me next. 

- “They are fine. Raven is adorable and (Y/N) is doing an amazing job with her. She's a pro. I’ve timed her changing diapers ‘cos I need to beat her time.” 

- “I bet it is hard staying away from them.”- Derek said as we walked to the bullpen straight to our desks. 

- “This was the first time ever I didn't want to come to work.”- I confessed and took a framed picture of Raven from my satchel, and placed it on my desk.- “But (Y/N) made sure I had a reminder of what waits for me back home.”  

- “Dirty diapers?”- Morgan chuckled and I frowned, shaking my head- “I know, I’m just joking, kid. I missed you. I’m glad you are back, even if you’ll be stuck at the desk for another month.” 

- “You are?”- JJ asked, surprised. 

- “Yeah, I talked to Hotch. I won’t be traveling with you for the next couple of weeks. I don’t wanna leave (Y/N) alone with Raven for too long, they need me.” 

That plan worked for the first two weeks after I reincorporated for duty. Until it didn’t, obviously.

It was the perfect Saturday afternoon. (Y/N) and I were bathing a nine-week-old Raven. She was enjoying her time in the water. We had a tiny tub for her and while my wife held her head, I helped rub her little body with soap. 

- “Look at you, little Raven, you are so clean you are not gonna puke again tonight, right?”- (Y/N) joked looking at our baby. 

- “I don’t think she meant puking on you.”- I replied and chuckled. 

- “Twice today? That’s five this week for me and just twice for you.”- my wife raised an eyebrow as she looked at me for a second - “I think you and Raven have an alliance and are trying to make me lose our bet.” 

- “That’s absurd!”- I laughed and splashed a little water on (Y/N)'s face. - “Don't be a bad loser, chipmunk.” 

- “You two are cheating, Batsy! I know it!”- the phone ruined our moment that second. It was my cell phone, which meant that Saturday evening was ruined. We had a case. 

My wife stared at me and sighed as I quickly stood up and picked up. It was Hotch, and he wasn’t happy to bother us. 

- “I’m sorry, Reid. But you are gonna have to travel with us this time. I’ll give you the details in the BAU.” 

I sighed as I hung up the phone. (Y/N) walked to me holding Raven wrapped in a puffy purple towel. 

- “Case?” 

- “Yeah, and Hotch said I have to go with the team.”- my wife nodded and sighed. We both knew it was going to happen eventually. We just didn’t realize it was gonna happen so soon. 

- “Can you ask your mom to come and help?”- but she shook her head and kissed Raven’s head. 

- “We are gonna be ok, honey bunny. Am I right, Birdie?- and just on cue, our baby girl yawned. - “See? we’re gonna sleep all night long.”

- “I’m gonna call you as soon as I know where we are going, and I’ll text you as soon as we land. Ok?”- (Y/N) nodded and kissed my lips. 

- “Please, take care, Batsy.”

- “You know I will.”- and I meant every word. - “Let me help you put Birdie in her pajamas before I leave.” 

Blake picked me up and drove me to the BAU. I didn’t want to leave (Y/N) without the car, in case there was an emergency and she had to take our baby to the doctor. She was very upset that we were called in for a case. As we walked out of the elevator in the BAU, she was telling me her husband, James, was visiting and according to her words, he was left all alone cooking and watching “House Hunters” without her. 

- “I know how you feel.”- I said as we walked to the team that was gathered at our desks. - “We were giving Raven a bath with lavender oils to help her relax, and we were going to cook a nice dinner, maybe try to catch up with Doctor Who. Until I got that call.”

- “We get Henry to bed”- JJ looked at me, telling the story of her evening to Rossi, Morgan, and Penelope as well. - “And, you know, we're about to finally have some alone time with mommy and daddy, and… you guys know the rest.”

- “Ah, trying to dust off the old cobwebs?”- Derek teased and Garcia immediately hit his arm. 

- “Inappropriate!”

- “What?”- Morgan chuckled, and Garcia somehow overlooked the fact it was actually inappropriate and asked. 

- “Seriously, though, how long has it been?”- Morgan insisted.  

- “Too long.”- JJ’s face fell as she confessed, and Blake turned to Rossi asking. 

- “Do we know what the case is?”

- “Not yet. Hotch just said to drop everything and get back here.”- he replied, but that was all I heard about the case. Garcia kept talking with JJ about her needing time alone with Will, and I got a text from (Y/N). She sent a picture of Raven asleep in our bed, surrendered by pillows. I smiled as I looked at it, and wished I was back home with them. 

- “Miss you already.”- I texted back and sighed. 

- “You need some private adult time. I'll watch Henry. No bad guys, no kids, in that order. Go to Mexico. Or the Maldives, maybe.”- Garcia kept talking as I placed the phone back into my pocket. 

- “Cruz?”- JJ said 

- “Yes! Exactly. A cruise would be perfect.” 

- “No, no, no. Matt Cruz.”- JJ pointed at the other side of the bullpen, where our Section Chief talked with Hotch. If Cruz was there, then it meant the case was serious, which also explained why Hotch was forcing me to go with the team. 

Matt Cruz started presenting the case. That was weird. I looked around the room and my eyes found Blake. She cut me a short smile, which I reciprocated. Call me lame, but I missed my wife. Working without her was bizarre. I was used to having her as my partner in crime. Or more accurately, my partner fighting crime. 

- “A good friend of mine, Sheriff Peter Coleman, down in Briscoe County, Texas reached out to me about a possible case. He's a former Texas Ranger, he's a good guy.”- Matt started explaining, and Hotch continued.  

- “He read about our work on The Silencer case two years ago. He asked for a consult.”

- “What do we have?”- Blake asked right away, eager to solve that case, I suppose. We all wanted to go back home. At least I know that was all I had in mind.

- “Abigail Jones. Prostitute.”- Cruz explained. - “She was found in a dumpster last night.”

- “What's that on her wrists?”- Morgan asked, staring at the pictures on the screen. But Cruz failed to zoom in on the images, and Garcia had to help. (Y/N) would have laughed at the scene and made any sassy comment. But instead, no one even chuckled. 

- “Rope burns.”- Rossi pointed out, and Cruz continued explaining. 

- “Which goes hand in hand with lacerations on her back.”

- “There's also a gun wound to the back of her head, execution style.”- JJ said, sitting next to me.  

- “It's a conflict in M. O.”- I looked at the crime scene’s pictures on the screen. - “The cutting and restraining, point to a sexual sadism, but the gun wound ends the torture too quickly for a sadist.”

- “Is that the only victim?”- Blake asked. But of course, there were more. 

- “There's Hannah Kelly, another prostitute, killed six months ago, dumped one jurisdiction over.”

- “Forensic countermeasure.”- Blake added - “Smart enough to separate the victims so we won't tie them together.”

- “And practical, too.”- Matt Cruz commented. - “The body was left in a hooker row, where they picked up their Johns. Which brings us to our first victim, Lucas Wagner, killed eleven months ago. Multiple arrests for soliciting a prostitute. He was found outside of a crack house where some of them lived.”

- “He takes a paying customer and drops them where the girls live. That sends a message that nobody's safe.”- Derek commented and Hotch nodded at his words. 

- “Tell Sheriff Coleman we're on our way.”

And so I was on my way to Texas with the team. I texted my wife to tell her where we were going and asked her to keep me updated about her night with Raven, knowing I wasn’t going to sleep much on the plane thinking they were home alone.

- “Birdie is almost snoring.”- (Y/N) texted and sent a picture of our baby nearly drooling, and looking a lot like her mother when dreaming. 

- “Kiss those baby cheeks from me.”- I typed quickly and chuckled. JJ sat next to me on the jet and looked at my phone’s screen. 

- “Oh my god! Raven is adorable!”- she said, staring at the picture. - “And how is (Y/N) doing? I feel like a lousy friend, I haven’t visited as much as I’d like.”      

- “She is great. She is an amazing mother. I feel so guilty for leaving them home alone.”- I confessed and sighed. The rest of the team joined us in the jet, getting ready for the takeoff.  

- “Oh, come on, Spence. I bet you are an amazing dad.”- JJ assured me. - “Besides, you and (Y/N) were meant to be together and have babies.”

I just smiled and looked at the picture on my cellphone one more time. I know I had never been a huge fan of technology, but I was willing to change that if it meant getting pictures of Raven while I was away. 

We reviewed the case during the flight. Hotch paired me with Morgan to talk with everybody who had worked on the streets the prior night. We made it to Texas at breaking dawn, we had just time to get a coffee and head to work. 

- “You are already looking like a dad.”- Morgan teased me as I walked to the SUV, where one of the local cops was waiting for us. - “You are getting a dad bod.” 

- “What are you talking about?”- I frowned confused - “What’s a dad bod?” 

- “A ‘dad body’, genius. Look at your stomach, you are getting bulky.”

- “I am not bulky!”- I sucked in my stomach immediately, which made my friend laugh even harder. - “My wife just happens to be a great cook.”

- “We know, and I’m glad she is making you eat proper food and not just takeout.”- Morgan got into the car and the cop guided us to a place called “Joel’s Bar.” 

- “Not too many spots for working girls to go to, so this will be your best shot.”- he explained as we got out of the SUV under the already burning Texas morning sun. 

- “And you turn a blind eye to what goes on in here?”- I asked him as I unbuttoned the lowest bottom of my sweater, already conscious of how it looked like it was too tight. 

- “Agent, we only got one bar around here.”- the official explained- “Monday night's karaoke, Tuesday's line dancing, and the girls are discreet. Can't hardly tell the professionals from the locals who just want to get their drink on. Not to mention, we shut this place down, then what?”

- “The devil you know kind of thing.”- Morgan said and looked at me with a smug smirk. 

By the end of the day, we had nothing. The entire police force was very eager to help us, but so far, we didn’t have much to investigate. Back at the hotel, I laid on my bed and dialed (Y/N)’s phone number. I waited patiently for her to pick up, but she didn’t, and the call went to voicemail. I immediately panicked and dialed again. After a few seconds, I heard my wife’s voice on the other side of the line, and Raven’s desperate cries. 

- “What happened?”- I asked immediately  

- “Colics, she started crying an hour ago.”- my wife quickly explained. -“I’ve been walking with her around the apartment the entire time, trying to calm her down. Sorry I didn’t pick up when you called, we were in the kitchen and I didn’t hear the phone.” 

- “No, chipmunk, don’t worry. I am so sorry I’m not there to help you.”- my heart ached hearing my daughter cry at the other side of the line, knowing there was nothing I could do at the minute to calm her down from Texas.  

- “I can call you back when she is calmer if you want”- I imagined my wife holding the phone between her neck and her ear as she carried Raven across the apartment. 

- “Can you put me on speaker, I wanna talk to her.”- I begged, knowing it was the only thing I could do. I heard her struggling with the phone until she announced I was on speaker. 

- “She can hear you now, honey.” 

- “Hey Raven.”- I whispered, but my daughter kept crying. - “Hey baby birdie, it’s your dad, remember me? The tall guy with the crazy hair that keeps kissing your mommy.”- my baby sobbed and I closed my eyes. All I wanted that minute was to teleport and hold her close to my chest. 

- “We miss you, Daddy.”- (Y/N) said and I smiled for a second. - “Tell us about the case.” 

- “You don’t really wanna know.” 

- “True, I don’t want the details. But are you close to catching the guys?”

- “Yeah, definitely.”

- “You are such a lousy liar.”- I smiled knowing my wife had smiled for a second. - “I miss you.”

- “Me more. And I miss that little crying baby as well.”- for a moment, Raven gave us a truce and whined more quietly- “Did you give her the antispasmodic drops?” 

- “Yes, they should be kicking in as we speak.” 

- “Good, I can’t stand knowing she is in pain.”- I whispered, relieved.  

- “I know how you feel.”- my wife sighed and made a long pause. I stared at the ceiling, picturing the two of them in the room with me. - “I don't like this, honey. I’m sorry.” 

- “What? The call?”- somehow, I was lost.  

- “No. Having you away, I don’t like it. I have a bad feeling about this.” 

- “It’s just because it’s the first time I’ve been away since we had Raven. But I promise we’ll be together as soon as possible.”

- “I feel so guilty, ‘cos I think I’m so scared and stressed out, I gave Raven the colics.”

- “It’s not your fault.”- I replied without even hesitating for a second. - “It’s not your fault, chipmunk.”- I repeated in a softer tone of voice. - “Did you have dinner?”

- “No… I’m not hungry. You?”

- “Neither… I just wanted to come to my room and talk to you.” 

- “You should eat, honey bunny. You need to be strong to think straight and solve that case so you can come home soon.”

- “You should eat too. You need to be strong to take care of our baby girl.”- (Y/N) didn’t reply, instead, she chuckled softly.  

- “She fell asleep.”- she whispered and I smiled, closing my eyes, relieved. 

- “It’s good to know that even from another state I can bore my daughter till she falls asleep.”

- “She relaxes when she hears you”- my wife explained. - “She knows it’s you since she was still in my womb.”  

- “I wanna be there with you two.” 

- “We miss you. I wanna cuddle with you.” 

- “I wanna do more than just cuddle with you.”- I replied in a lower voice and heard my wife giggling. 

- “Dirty daddy, talking like that to mommy.”- and those names did something to me. Something that made me feel like a perv. 

- “Get some sleep, honey bunny.”- (Y/N) suggested. - “I’m gonna put Raven in her crib and make me a sandwich or something.” 

- “Yes, ma cherie. I love you.” 

- “I love you more. Talk to you tomorrow, ok?”

(Y/N)’s point of view 

Day two without Spencer was messy. Raven woke me up six times during that night. And the following morning, when she finally closed her eyes and I tried to get some sleep, Spencer called and then I couldn’t go back to bed, so I decided to do laundry and get some cleaning done around the house before Raven woke up. Of course, my daughter woke up before I could get anything finished, and I had to carry her around the house as I did the dishes, folded clean underwear, and put away the trash. 

Frank and Lu stopped by after lunch and kept me company and sane for a while. Spencer texted and told me they were closer to cracking the case, which gave me hope. It was a three-hour flight between home and Texas, he could be there by dinner if things went well. 

But they didn’t. 

Instead of Spencer’s call around eight, I got one from Penelope. And it was the call that confirmed my biggest fear. 

- “Munchkin, I’m so sorry.”- Garcia was crying as she tried to explain what had happened. My heart nearly stopped as soon I heard the state she was in. That couldn't be good news.

- “What is it? What happened to Spencer?”- I freaked out right away and held Raven closer to me, in an attempt to remain sane. Only one thing would make Penelope call me in that state, and I feared the worst right away. 

- “He was shot in the neck. They are taking him to the hospital now.”

I don't think I could ever explain what happened to me that second. I know I would have gone mental if it wasn't for my baby in my arms. My stomach dropped and my hands started shaking, but I knew I had to be strong for Raven.

I didn’t hesitate. I did the SSA thing to do and remained logical and somehow not completely hysterical. I dropped the phone and grabbed Raven’s bag, my purse, and got into the car. In twenty minutes I was in Quantico, and in half an hour I was in Garcia’s office, trying to understand what had happened. My baby daughter looked at me as I held her against my chest in her carrier, her chocolate eyes wide open, staring at the tears that kept falling from my face, no matter how badly I tried to stop them. 

It was the first fucking case Spencer had been a part of after becoming a father. And all I knew was that he had been shot.

- “I convinced Cruz to take me to Texas to put an eye on Reid.”- Garcia announced as she stood up from her desk and I grabbed my bag immediately. 

- “We are going with you.”

- “What? No! You are not! My goddaughter can’t travel to Texas, out of the blue! you would…”

- “I don’t think you get this, Pen. I am not asking you if I can come. I am going with you to be with my husband. Now!” 

- “Munchkin… this is…”

- “I’m not gonna be ok until I see he is safe and sound. So let’s go, now!”

Yes, I was harsh and it wasn’t fair on Penelope, ‘cos it wasn’t her fault my husband had been shot. But for once, I was losing my sanity. All I wanted was to be next to my husband, hold his hand, and kiss his lips. I needed to hear his laughter and stare into his beautiful eyes. The same eyes his daughter had inherited, and that stared at me as I made my way to the elevator, following Penelope and Cruz, on our way to the jet. 

The trip was eternal, the longest three hours of my life. I was glad Raven behaved like a princess and didn’t cry during take-off. She got a little fuzzy at the end, but Garcia helped me carry her and change diapers during the trip. I felt quite guilty, now looking back in time. I wasn’t in my right mind. I was losing it, honestly. I was scared to death of anything happening to Spencer. I knew the risk was part of our job, but I wasn’t ready to deal with it. Not with a two-month-old baby girl in my arms that needed her dad as much as I needed him. I don't know how to live without Spencer. And honestly, I don’t want to learn how to. 

When Pen, Cruz, and I reached the hospital, we found JJ and Blake, waiting for news of Spencer's surgery. The two of them hugged us tight and kissed Raven’s sleepy head. 

- “How is he?”- I asked right away and Blake sighed, exhausted, as she explained. 

- “Still in surgery.”

- “You all can see Agent Morgan now.”- one nurse announced and Garcia and JJ stood up right away. Blake turned to me and my baby and whispered. 

- “Well, if you don't mind, I'd really like to stay here.”

- “We’d love the company.”- I replied and felt her hand on mine. She was freezing cold.  

- “The second you hear anything, call me.”- JJ said as she stood up and walked away with the nurse and Cruz. 

- “Hey, I’ll be right back”- Garcia whispered and cut me a short smile. I just nodded and watched them walk away. 

- “How are you holding up?”- Blake asked and I chuckled, tears filling my eyes right away. 

- “I’m literally holding the only person that can keep me sane right now.”- I whispered and looked at my sleepy baby in my arms- “I just… can’t… I could never live without him.” 

- “You won’t have to. I am sure he is going to be ok.”

I stayed in silence and just nodded. Blake and I didn’t say another word for a long time, as we waited for anyone to come and give us news of my husband’s health. 

As we waited, I called my mom and texted Lu, Mikey, and Frank to tell them what was going on. I felt so alone in that hospital room. Though Hotch and Rossi had stopped by to hug us on their way out, and even when Blake and eventually also Garcia were sitting right next to me, I felt so lonely it was insane. My mother freaked out, of course. Not only because Spencer was in surgery, but because I had traveled alone with Raven to be with him. Lu, Mikey, and Frank were just as scared as I was and made me promise to call as soon as I had news of Spencer’s condition.

- “Agent”- after what felt like an eternity, a doctor walked over to us and we stood up to hear the news. 

- “How is my husband?”- I asked immediately, and realized I had to clarify- “How is agent Reid.”

- “Incredibly lucky. Two millimeters to the right the bullet would have torn through the carotid artery. It nicked some smaller vessels, but we've stopped the bleeding.”- I sighed, relieved, and kissed Raven’s head, as she kept sleeping against my chest. 

- “You can see him now.”- he announced, and I started walking right away. Blake followed close behind, calling JJ to update her on Spencer’s status. 

My husband was unconscious after surgery. He was pale, his hair was a mess, and it was heartbreaking just staring at him. I ran my fingers through his messy hair as Penelope set some of his favorite Dr. Who dolls that he kept on his desk, on a table in front of him, so he could look at them as soon as he woke up. Blake sat next to him and Garcia stood at one corner of the room, staring outside the window for a moment. Raven was asleep in her baby wrap carrier, drooling against my chest. 

I felt so useless as I sat on Spencer’s bed and held his hand, waiting for him to wake up. I also finally understood why mom hated dad’s job so much, and why she had decided to divorce him. They were still in love with each other when they divorced, maybe they still were until that day. But mom decided she had had enough of his work and took a step aside. 

After two hours, or so, Spencer finally opened his eyes. I was breastfeeding Raven, still sitting on one side of his bed when he woke up. He looked confused and in a lot of pain, but still, he smiled as soon as he saw me and Raven next to him. 

- “I’m sorry, chipmunk.”- he whispered as I leaned and kissed his lips a couple of times. 

- “We were so afraid.”- I sobbed, caressing his cheeks over and over again. I hadn’t realized I was crying until that moment. I was tired of keeping the tears to myself because I don’t like crying in front of people. But I couldn’t do it anymore. It was just too much. 

- “I’m so, so sorry.”- Spencer whispered again. I tried to cut him a short smile as I shushed him with two fingers on my dry lips, the ones he kissed right away, making my heart skip a beat. 

- “Don’t worry, we are here now, with you. We are gonna take care of you.”- Spencer nodded at my words and sighed. He looked at Raven for a moment and then turned to Alex and Garcia. 

- “Thank you for being here.” 

- “No problem.”- Blake whispered with tears in her eyes as Garcia jumped on her spot and announced she was going to get my husband something to eat, to keep him strong. 

- “Can I hold her?”- Spencer asked me. I nodded and placed Raven on his chest, and watched how the two of them seemed to find a peace no one else could give them. Their bond has always been strong, ever since she was still inside me, and it has only grown stronger with time. 

- “How did you get here?”- Spencer whispered and I just shook my head. 

- “I might need to apologize to Garcia, ‘cos I kinda yelled at her. She convinced Cruz to take us with him to Texas as soon as we heard what happened.”- I confessed and bit my lip embarrassed. Blake turned to me and smiled sweetly. 

- “I’m sure she is not mad at you, (Y/N). She was just as worried as we were all.” 

- “When this comes off, I’m gonna look just like Boris Karloff”- my husband joked, pointing at the bandage on his neck. Blake and I chuckled and nodded. 

- “Yeah, a little green makeup and you’ll have the best Halloween costume ever.”- she added and I smiled, picturing Spencer as Frankenstein. He closed his eyes for a moment, and it ached my heart to think he was in pain or relieving the whole incident in his head over and over again. 

- “Everybody is fine.”- Alex assured him - “Don’t worry.” 

- “I’m not…”- he replied, caressing Raven’s back with his hand sweetly. But we both knew he was lying. Blake turned to me and I just shook my head. 

- “You’ve got that furrowed brow.”- but before I could argue with him any longer, Garcia walked into the room with a tray filled with food as she kept talking on the phone with the team, I was sure. 

- “Will you look who's still awake!”- she smiled and brightened the room, like the ray of sunshine she is- “Can you tell her she can go now, please?”- Garcia asked my husband, and looked at Blake.

- “I'm ok, Alex. Go help the team.”- she nodded and held Spencer’s hand one more time as she said

- “All right. I'm out of here. I'm glad you're awake.”

- “Thank you.”- my husband smiled at her and watched her walk out of the room. 

- “Ok now.”- Garcia placed the food in front of my husband- “Juice, broth, or Jell-O?”- I knew exactly what Spencer was going to pick.

- “Jell-o, my favorite!”

- “Let me take Raven so you can sit down.”- I moved and grabbed our baby daughter, who immediately started arguing she didn’t want to be away from her dad. 

- “I can’t believe how bossy this little angel can be.”- Garcia joked as she looked at her. 

- “Just like her mom.”- Spencer teased and I gasped, pretending to be surprised. 

- “How dare you?”- my husband smiled, masking the pain he clearly was in. I walked Raven across the room as he stared at us in silence, and Garcia grabbed her laptop and continued talking on the phone with JJ. I honestly didn’t pay much attention to what she was saying, I didn’t want to know much of the case. I just wanted to take Spencer back home with us. 

- “Eat your jell-o”- I whispered and turned to my husband, who sighed and grabbed the spoon.- “Mom asked me to call her as soon as you woke up. I should let her know you are ok.”

- “Why did you tell her what happened?”- Spencer frowned and started arguing immediately. - “It wasn’t…”

- “It was. And you are ok now. That’s all that matters.”- he didn’t debate, probably ‘cos he could read on my face how worried I had been, the lack of sleep, and the relief I felt to see he was getting better. Instead of talking, he finished his jello and I fixed his pillow. 

- “I’ll be right back, I need coffee. Do you guys need anything?”- Garcia announced as she stood up and left her computer on the chair. 

- “Thank you, I’m ok.”

- “Can you put Raven in bed with me?”- Spencer asked as he got ready to sleep. His daughter was pretty much doing the same thing, so I carefully placed her on his chest again and watched him covering her with his blanket. 

- “I’m gonna text mom. Get lots of rest, ok? I’ll be here when you wake up.���- I kissed my husband goodnight and smiled at him as he sighed one more time. 

- “I love you, Mrs. Reid. I’m sorry I made you worry.”- his voice was a soft whisper, filled with concern and regret.  

- “I love you too, Dr. Reid. In sickness and health, remember? That includes bullets, poisoning, and any field injury we haven’t gotten yet.”- I joked and kissed him one more time. He smiled and closed his eyes, caressing Raven’s back carefully. 

My whole family was there in that hospital room, and even when circumstances weren’t the best, I felt at peace knowing the three of us were safe and together. 

Though apparently, the concept of “safe” wasn’t going to last long. A few minutes later, when Spencer and Raven were completely asleep and I was texting my mom, Garcia walked in and closed the door behind her back as she kept talking with someone on the phone, clearly freaking out.

- “Ok, I did that, now what?”- she said and I looked at her, frowning, confused. - “Yes, yes I can do that.” - she took a look around the room quickly and stared at a wheelchair - “Yes!”

- “What’s going on?”- I stood up and looked at her. 

- “That’s not going to be easy.”- she ignored me and kept talking with who I later found out was Derek. 

- “Pen? What is it?”

- “Oh my god, what?”- she kept gasping and her eyes watered up in a second, stopping my heart and putting me in total alert. - “Ok.”- she finally put herself together and hung up the phone. 

- “Garcia, what is going on?”

- “We need to take Reid out of here.”- she commanded as she put the wheelchair next to his bed.- “Take Raven and help me wake him up.”

- “What the fuck is happening?”- I didn't get why moving my wounded husband was necessary.

- “Bad things, munchkin. We have to keep Spencer safe from the corrupted police force in town.”

- “What?!”- I didn't hesitate and moved as quickly as possible to put Raven on the carrier. Penelope woke Spencer up and asked him to get in the wheelchair, as fast as possible. My poor husband was so lost he didn’t get what was happening and didn’t ask much. He was more worried for Raven’s and my safety than his own. 

Once we managed to put him on the chair, Garcia took him out immediately and pulled the fire alarm on her way out. I followed her with my baby, trying to remember if things had been that crazy before. Yes, they were. And they got even crazier.

Spencer’s point of view  

I still remember the moment I got shot in the neck while in my very first time on the field after Raven was born. I was trying to cover Alex from the shooting when I felt the pain knock me back and my head hit the ground.

Bullets were coming from everywhere, and all I could think of at that minute was of my baby daughter, and how I had been so stupid to get shot. I couldn’t leave her alone, I had just become a dad. I had so much to do with her. I wanted to hear her first words and watch her first steps. Take her to her first school day. There was so much left of fatherhood to discover, I couldn’t die that day. 

- “Ethan! Ethan! Open your eyes!”- I knew Blake was talking to me, but I didn’t know why she was calling me that name. That was the last thing I recall and the next thing I knew, I was in an ambulance with Morgan. Then, my mind went blank until I woke up in a hospital bed, and (Y/N) was sitting next to me, breastfeeding Raven. The sight made me wonder if I was in heaven because she looked like an angel holding a tiny cherub. 

I felt my wife’s embrace and her tears on my skin as she held me close. I wished I could hold her, but moving was still too painful for me. So I did what I could, and caressed her cheek and Raven’s head. I felt so guilty when I saw how concerned she was, and I could only imagine what she had thought when she got the news I had been shot. How has she gotten to Texas so quickly? How long had I been out? I wanted to ask a million questions, but at the minute, all I managed to do was apologize to her for getting hurt. 

Alex and Garcia were there too. I still wanted to ask Alex who Ethan was, but I figured she might not like to share that in front of everybody. Garcia kept working, and soon after I woke up, Alex left to join the team with the investigation. It was clear something was very wrong when (Y/N) and Pen asked me to get in a wheelchair, and Garcia explained the details as we waited outside the hospital. Apparently, the entire police force was corrupted and wanted to kill me to cover their tracks. 

- “He is gone. They are letting us back in.”- once we were taken back to the hospital, Garcia called Morgan to update him. - “I lost a couple of karma points, but yeah, I did it.”

- “Are you ok, chipmunk?”- I asked my wife as we re-entered the room, Raven was starting to get fuzzy and I calculated it was time for her feeding. 

- “Yeah, we are just fine, honey. You just get some rest, ok?”- my wife smiled at me and sat on a couch on the other side of the room to feed our baby. I got back into my bed and stared at her in adoration, as Garcia announced Morgan was on his way to the hospital. 

- “Are you ok?”- Garcia asked and helped me fix the covers on my bed. 

- “I’m just very tired.”- I confessed and sighed, exhausted after that day. 

- “Of course you are. You need to get some sleep.”- and just as she said those words, a male nurse walked in with my chart. - “Oh, but how can you sleep? 'Cause you're in a hospital where people are always poking you.”

- “He had his meds an hour ago.”- (Y/N) pointed out from the couch and the nurse turned to her with a look I didn’t really like. 

- “Yeah, post-op antibiotics.”

- “Yeah, he had those, too.”- Garcia added 

- “Which ones?”- I asked and tried to read the name on the bottle the nurse was holding. - “Carbenicillin? No, that's not right. I have a severe reaction to beta-lactams. I can't have that.”- I argued as the nurse simply took a look at the notes and shook his head. 

- “That's not in your chart.”- and after those words, he proceeded to add it to my IV. 

- “What are you doing? What are you doing?”- I freaked out right away, knowing how bad that was gonna be for me if it reached my blood. I took the needle from my arm, and slapped the antibiotic from his hands just the minute I saw a gun hidden in the back of his pants. 

And my baby daughter was in the same room. That was all I could think of. 

- “Garcia! He has a gun!”- I yelled- “Chipmunk! protect Raven!”

And just like that, there was a gunshot. I heard my baby crying and looked around me. (Y/N) had our daughter’s ears covered against her chest and hands and stared at me in shock. Garcia wasn't moving. She was holding my gun with both hands as if her life depended on it. As it did. 

- “He's moving.”- Penelope whispered, terrified and one second later, Morgan walked into the room that second and pointed his gun at the nurse. 

- “Chipmunk, stay right there. Are you and Raven ok?”- I whispered and looked at my wife. Her eyes moved from me to the nurse on the floor and then to Raven, and back to me, scared.  

- “Yes… you?”- she was still stunned, and holding our daughter as close to her chest as possible. 

- “I didn't know how loud. I can't hear, 'cause my heart feels like it's gonna come out. Can that happen?”- Garcia was rambling, shocked- “ Physically, can your heart burst out of your chest? And what is this ringing? My ears don't pop for like a week after I fly, and if this is like that, that's gonna drive me bonkers. Am I yelling? Because it feels like I might be yelling.” 

- “You saved my life.”- I turned to her and took the gun from her hands as she stared at me with an astonished look in her eyes, and didn’t say another word- “Can you hear me?”

- “Yeah, I heard that. That makes it better. Thank you for saying that.”

- “Thank you for doing it.”- and as tears fell from her eyes, she wrapped her arms around me and hugged me. 

- “Ok. You're ok.”- she whispered as I held her tight. Then I stood up and walked to the couch, where (Y/N) was still sitting, unable to move as she held Raven. 

- “Are you ok?”- she whispered as tears filled her eyes. I nodded and sat next to her, and in a second, she was crawling to my lap. I held her closer to me, feeling her and Raven’s breathing. Our baby kept crying for a few more minutes until I held her and kissed her chubby cheeks. My wife stared at me, shaking, and Morgan helped Garcia sit down for a minute. 

- “I wanna go home.”- (Y/N) whispered and looked at me with tears in her eyes. 

- “Me too, Chipmunk.” 

It took a few more hours until the team finally wrapped the case, and killed the unsub. That very same night we took the jet back home. I couldn’t wait to be back in Washington, in our apartment, in our bed. (Y/N) and Raven sat with me on our usual seat at the back of the jet and fell asleep in my arms. I was so exhausted after the case and surgery, I didn’t even fight the slumber, I just closed my eyes and hummed content to have my family with me. 

Blake helped us get home that night. She drove our car over to our apartment, ‘cos we were all too exhausted to drive ourselves. She helped us upstairs with our bags, and as soon as I opened the front door, I realized she had never been in our house before. 

- “Are you sure you are ok?”- Alex asked me and raised an eyebrow. 

- “I feel great. Ok, that's overselling it.”- I tried to joke- “I, uh, I feel great considering I just got shot in the neck.”

- “I’m gonna put Raven in her crib.”- (Y/N) whispered and walked to our room holding our baby daughter. 

- “Where do you want this?”- Alex asked, taking a look around the place. 

- “Any… right there is fine.”- I pointed at the empty space next to the couch and she just left the bags there. 

- “Ok. So, you should get some sleep.”- Blake stood in front of me and sighed. 

- “You all right?”- I asked straight away 

- “Yesterday touched a nerve when I saw you like that.”- she simply confessed. So I had to push her a little more. 

- “Who's Ethan?”

- “My son.”- I widened my eyes in shock. I never knew she had a son- “He was nine when he died. Doctors said it was neurological, but they didn't have a name for it. Still don't. That drove me crazy. No word to put to this thing that took away my greatest love.” 

- “I'm sorry.”- that was the best I could do, ‘cos honestly, I didn't know what else to say. 

- “He kept growing despite his disease. The last time I lay beside him he was almost as long as me. He was ready to go. But I wasn't ready to say goodbye.”- her voice broke at that last word, so she made a pause to compose herself, I guess. - “I begged him to open his eyes. And the cruelest part was that I could see who he would be at 20, but I knew he'd never get there.” 

- “Ethan is a great name.”- I don’t know why I said that, but it was the only thing I could think of that minute. Blake smiled and nodded. 

- “Yeah. It means enduring.”

- “It's fitting. You and James never let go of one another.”- Blake shook her head and sighed. She grabbed her things and walked to the door. But before she opened it, I asked her 

- “Have you ever had that feeling that your future is somehow behind you?” 

- “All the time.”- she replied right away, holding the doorknob. I heard Raven’s coos as I figured (Y/N) was changing her diaper. I looked over the room, though I couldn’t see any of them from the living room. 

- “I did, too. But it isn't.”- I replied to Alex, and she just smiled and nodded. 

- “Ethan would have been a lot like you.”

- “Thank you for being there when I woke up. That meant a lot.”- I confessed, feeling inside me that was the last time I was going to be able to thank her. 

- “Of course.” 

And just like that, she left the apartment.

- “Bye, Alex.”- I whispered as I stood there, still for a few seconds. Until my wife spared in the hall and held my hand. 

- “Where is Alex?  I was gonna make us some tea.” 

- “She is gone, Chipmunk. But I’d love some tea.”- I looked at her and kissed her lips slowly, feeling her humming against my body. 

- “Then I’ll make you a nice cup, honey bunny.” 

I stared at my wife walking to the kitchen and followed her as she boiled some water and took two mugs from the cupboard. She smiled at me and grabbed two bags of lavender tea as I stood behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist. 

- “Are you ok?”- (Y/N) asked and placed her hands on mine. 

- “I love you, chipmunk.” 

- “I love you more, honey.” 

- “Sorry everything got so messy.” 

- “You are home safe. That’s all that matters.” 

As we stood there together, in comfortable silence, waiting for the water to boil, I sighed and remembered a Joseph Campbell quote: "We must be willing to get rid of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us."

And that phrase really stuck with me during the years, because that injury was the first time I honestly thought I should leave the BAU and focus on my family, and I guess, it was the first step that led us to today, our last day at the FBI. Today (Y/N) and I are gonna get rid of the life we planned before getting married and have the life we are waiting to live with our kids. 

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[auroragreenvale]

People Watching - JJ Maybank

They met in class for metaphysical philosophy, he tells his friends I like her ‘cause she’s so much smarter than me

OR How you and JJ met

Summary: A look into different points of JJ and reader's relationship inspired by People Watching by Conan Gray. 3k words

***

A/N: I loveee this song especially the opening verse and I always loved picturing the people that inspired it. The chapters wont follow the order of the lyrics. I hope y'all enjoy :)

***

“Dude look what is this shit?” He smacked the paper before holding it out to Pope. He took hold of it, looking over each class listed in his friend’s schedule for the upcoming year until he found the so-called “shit” JJ was referring to: Philosophy. Pope let out a chuckle the moment he registered the word and looked over at his friend, amused. “Pope, man this isn’t funny they must’ve messed up my schedule and shit! I can’t take this class, man!” Pope could only continue to laugh, catching Kiara’s attention. She grabbed the paper out of Pope’s hand and quickly displayed the same reaction as him. 

“Wow JJ I had no idea you were such a scholar! An intellectual if you will?”

“Shut up Kie!” JJ rolled his eyes as his friends’ laughter died down, ready to show a little sympathy. 

“Look JJ,” Pope started, “It really isn’t that big a deal. This stuff happens just go talk to the counselor and get it fixed, easy.”

“Yeah alright… gimme that,” JJ snatched back his class schedule before roughly folding it and putting it into his pocket. He’d probably remember to look at it again before the first day. Probably.

***

To JJ, school was the single biggest waste of his time. He sat through stupid classes all day, missing out on prime surfing time. And what’s worse, it’s not like he could smoke a joint in the middle of history, much less chat with any of his friends in English. He was just glad to have guaranteed easy classes that required close to nothing on his end. That and the knowledge that he didn’t have parents riding his case about his education or caring about his future allowed him to ignore the nuisance that was school once he left the building. But being put in philosophy did not work into his plan. Philosophy was for the smart people. Like Pope smart. Maybe even smarter and JJ definitely considered himself a lot less smart than Pope. JJ took the classes that were required of him and absolutely nothing else. The people who took philosophy probably finished half of their requirements in middle school and overloaded on classes with specific topics because they were actually interested in them. He shuddered at the thought of more school as he entered his next class. Seven students sat at the various desks, not even filling half of them. JJ thought maybe the rest of the class was running late but he thought it was weird that everyone there currently sat toward the front of the room. His other classes were always full and people had no issue sitting in the very back row even if the one closest to the teacher had yet to be filled. But JJ was a master at blending in of course and even though he planned to get out of this class by tomorrow, he could still have fun pretending to be one of the smart kids. He slid into the last empty seat in the second row, looking around and observing his temporary classmates. His brow furrowed in confusion when he noticed them all with faces in books or scribbling away in their notebooks. How were they doing work before the bell had even rung? He slid down slightly in his seat letting his head hang down in the direction of his empty desktop, hoping to divert attention away from himself so as not to blow his cover and ruin his little game. His hand came up to the side of his face, blocking it from the others in his row as he waited for the dreaded class to begin. 

“Hi!” The sound came from the desk next to him. He lowered his hand and looked over at the girl sitting there. “...I… haven’t seen you before, I’m Y/N.”

“Oh well… I typically take a lotta... math... classes so this is kinda… new for me,” he tested out.

“Oh me too! Maybe we’ll have some more classes together.” You smiled at him warmly.

“Mmm yeah maybe,” he smiled, amused at the possibility, “I’m JJ.”

“Nice to meet you. Glad to have you in class JJ.” Again he smiled, you reading it as politeness when he really was trying to hold back laughter. Finally the bell rang signaling the beginning of class and JJ realized no other students had entered the room. If the first bell took that long to sound, he knew it would take an eternity before the last one would sound, ending his philosophy career and his misery. 

***

“You’re kidding me what!? What do you mean there’s no other classes??” JJ yelled, ignoring that he was in the administrative office. 

“Please keep it down Mr. Maybank. What I mean is that all the other classes at that time are full so we can’t move you out of your current class.”

“Ughh! … Yall messed this up, you gotta fix it!”

“I’m sorry JJ but there’s nothing I can do.”

“Okay but you don’t understand I can’t spend the whole semester in this class its for like the genius kids! I can’t do that shit!”

“Mr. Maybank please watch your language. And as for these ‘genius kids’ I suggest you talk to one of them about tutoring you.” At that JJ threw his head back and groaned as he exited the office and made his way outside to join his friends for lunch. They immediately noticed his dramatic expression as he approached. 

“Whats up J,” Kiara asked slowly. 

“This bullshit! They said they can’t take me outta that stupid class!”

“Wait you mean philosophy? You have to stay in it all semester,” Pope asked. JJ nodded.

“And what’s worse they said I should get a fucking tutor! Like I’m gonna go outta my way and do more school when I’m not even at school,” JJ shook his head, “I think I’ll just go ahead and fail.”

“Hate to break it to you man but if you fail it they’ll probably make you retake it over the summer.”

“Pope dude are you serious?” He nodded. “Fuuuck.” Kiara patted his shoulder, looking amused.

“Well uh, guess you’re getting a tutor.”

***

JJ walked into his second day of philosophy and slumped down in the seat next to yours. Blowing out a breath, he reluctantly looked over at you, preparing to ask you the dreaded question. You gave him a small smile.

“So uh… do you like… tutor people ever? For a friend! He’s… he’s looking for a… tutor.” Your smile grew, knowing where this was going. 

“Oh yeah I do what does your, uh friend need tutoring in?”

“This class!-- Well not this… class but you know this subject.”

“Mmm okay well I’d be willing to be your friend’s study buddy, help ‘em out.”

“Okay cool cool.... Cool. That's real uh cool of you.” You giggled. 

“Cool,” you answered sarcastically. This made JJ laugh softly, dropping his charade.

“Yeah so uh… should we get crackin’ like today I-- I think that would… be good. And do we… me at… the library or…?”

“Um we could or we could just go to my place if that's better?”

“Okay yeah… yeah sure that's good I’ll uh, meet you after school?”

“Sounds good.” He mirrored the smile you gave him before you both turned to face the front of the class where the teacher stood.

***

“JJ come on, the final’s in two weeks you need to get some more work done on your paper so you can start reviewing in time.”

“But dude. This paper is so stupid I do not care about any of these old guys’ theories.”

“Okay but you know them, I know ‘cause I helped you learn them, so pick one and write something about it.” JJ groaned in his usual dramatic fashion making both of you laugh. You shoved him lightly, telling him to write which he eventually began to do. When you had finished up your own essay you turned your attention to what JJ had started writing. You read over the beginnings of his essay a couple of times.

“JJ! This is good. These ideas are really good!”

“Well don’t sound so surprised,” he joked.

“I just mean I figured you had nothing since you didn’t want to write it so bad. But this is good, keep going and we can polish it up.”

“For real?”

“Yeah I’m really proud of you.” It was a simple statement and you quickly turned your attention to work for your other classes. But JJ let his gaze linger on you for a few seconds longer, a small smile on his lips. No one had ever said they were proud of him before. At least not that he could remember and definitely not when it came to smart stuff like this. He felt his heart expand hearing those words and he wondered how it would feel to hear them again. And again. He hoped he might do something else deserving of someone’s pride again. It made him feel taken care of in the way he tries to take care of his friends and it felt good to be on the other side of that kind of affection. He turned his attention back to his work and for the first time in his education, felt some motivation.

“No listen John B she’s like, so smart it's like cool! She might even be smarter than Pope and he’s probably the smartest person I know.” In his modesty, Pope let out a loud laugh, thinking JJ must have pretty low standards for intelligence if he was on the smartest end. “Pope what the hell is funny man?” This made Kiara snicker as well. JJ’s friends were all amused at how serious he seemed to be about this, all seeing what he couldn’t.

“Uh, JJ it sounds like you might have a little crush,” John B said. 

“Shit,” JJ said, brushing off the notion. “Fuck,” he said more quietly in realization in disbelief. His friends continued their quiet giggling at his apparent predicament. 

“You gonna… you gonna ask her out or what? I mean you’ll only be in class together for another what, two weeks? And I doubt you’ll ever be in one of her classes again so,” Pope laughed. 

“Shut up man I could be, I'm doing pretty good.”

“I’m sorry could any of you imagine JJ dating this apparent genius girl,” Kiara laughed at the images it brought to her mind.

“Yeah I don’t know if she’d be down to date like a surfer dude,” John B changed his voice to mock his friend. 

“Or she’d be like studying or something and you’re all,” Kiara also took on a ridiculous voice, “‘Hey babe wanna hit,’” she mimicked blowing out smoke and took on a stoner persona that they all knew was incredibly far off from JJ. But they still found it funny.

“You guys are the fucking worst and I’m gonna ask her out and you’re all gona feel like idiots okay,” JJ said holding both of his middle fingers up for all of his still amused friends to see. 

“Just invite us to the wedding okay,” Kiara mocked, earning a shove from her friend as she fell out laughing. 

***

“Hey I wanna… say, ya know thanks for helping, uh my friend out with this class,” JJ said trying to bring you back to the beginning of the semester with this class. You closed your book figuring it was time for a break. You gave JJ a tired smile that was nonetheless bright. He almost rolled his eyes when he smiled back just as big remembering how his friends noticed his feelings before he did and hating them being right. 

“Well he was a pretty… okay study buddy,” you joked back. JJ let out a breathy laugh.

“Just okay?”

“Well you’re pretty easily distracted but you do keep it fun. So better than okay I guess. And you really impressed me this semester. You’re a lot smarter than you think.” When JJ recalls this moment he can only assume he blushed a bright pink at your genuine statement and the look in your eyes. Thinking about it, he still wants to melt in both embarrassment and somehow happiness. He quickly changed the subject.

“Gonna be weird not seein’ each other all the time huh?” He had really gotten used to seeing you everyday, enjoying the time he spent with you even if it was filled doing activities he didn’t so much enjoy. 

“Yeah.” You paused. “...No one in my classes is ever as,” you searched for the right word but couldn’t find it, “...fun as you.” 

“Well no one in my classes is ever so damn smart like you,” he replied, “But uh, I was wondering did you maybe wanna hang out sometime? Like no studying or anything?”

“Yeah I would, yeah. Let’s do that,” You smiled at him and then opened your textbook again, eyes going down to the words you knew you would no longer be able to focus on. 

***

JJ stood in front of the small bathroom mirror in the Chateau fluffing and fixing his hair over and over, indecisive. He wore his least dirty pair of boots and had borrowed one of John B’s less loud button down shirts. He topped it with a jacket. He felt a little weird but he hoped you’d think he looked nice in the clothes that were slightly nicer than what he typically wore to school. He smoothed back his hair one more time and ran his hand through it once. He settled on that. At least it was clean and dry, an improvement from the usual. He drove the Twinkie to your place, a very familiar route by now. When he arrived he paused in the driver's seat. Did he text you he was here or did he go up and knock? Was that what people did to pick up a friend or just dates? You hadn’t said this was a date. And what if one of your family members answered the door? He let out a breath and opened the car door before he could stop himself. He walked up to the door and knocked. He waited almost a moment too long, beginning to contemplate going back to the car and texting you when you opened the door grinning. You were actually really excited to hang out with JJ and get to know him more without homework and studying. You had enjoyed his company over the semester. JJ smiled and felt relief when you appeared and then suddenly felt self conscious. You looked exactly like yourself and he was wearing someone else's clothes. So fucking stupid. He tried to push it out of his mind as you greeted each other and he walked you to the Twinkie. As you both almost arrived at the driver's side of the car, he had the idea to open your door for you. He stopped awkwardly and abruptly, confusing you, as he changed direction to go around the front of the van. He opened the door for you and you got in thanking him. You showed little confusion, just a small smile, as you were used to his odd actions at this point. JJ got in the car, turned up the music and began driving. He felt nervous as shit. He spent the entire semester with you and now you were causing him to act like an idiot. And this wasn’t even a date! What was wrong with him? He clutched the top of the steering wheel and glanced over at you quickly before he started speaking.

“So uh I was thinking we could maybe get some food over at The Wreck? That… that cool?”

“Yeah that sounds good,” you responded. JJ didn’t really love the idea of going to the place Kie’s parents owned and she worked there. He’d be surprised if he didn’t see his dumbass best friends there trying to spy on his date. If they all weren’t, Kie would definitely be working there, and have prime position to embarrass him. But she did offer to cover half the bill and it was a hot spot. JJ figured it would look good and maybe earn him another date. Or a first real one actually. God he just hoped he wouldn't blow it. Another date with you, even if only one more sounded like a great deal to JJ, and he needed to do everything possible to make it happen.

***

You sat in the passenger seat of the van that JJ had informed you was called the Twinkie. The conversation lulled as he drove the car up to your house and in that moment of silence, realization dawned on you. Your brows scrunched as you tried to make sense of the thought that had appeared in your mind. JJput the car in park and you turned to him before he could say anything. You took a breath. 

“JJ? Was this a date?” You asked it with hesitation but more confidence than you expected to come through your words. JJ turned to you, caught off guard, but quickly painted on his signature playful smirk.

“Did you want it to be,” he asks. You almost rolled your eyes. 

“JJ,” you repeated more sternly this time. You really wanted to know his answer. “Was this a date?” His face softened and his expression changed from the confident boy most knew well to almost bashful. You decided you liked that look on him.

“I was kinda hoping it could be.” He looked up at you at the end of his statement and mustering all of his confidence leaned in. It happened quickly. He touched his lips briefly to yours in a soft kiss. It was so delicate that it stole your breath, making you dizzy. He pulled away before you could even process that moment. He looked at you, eyes closed and bottom lip between your teeth to suppress a smile. You took a deep breath in. 

“Definitely a date then.” You opened your eyes slowly.

“That cool with you,” JJ asked, growing nervous. You nodded flashing that smile that JJ already found intoxicating. 

“I’m hoping you can… take me on another one?”

“Yeah of course.”

“Okay,” you said. You leaned over quickly, mirroring his actions, and placed a kiss on his cheek. Just as quickly, you exited the car with one more look back at the boy. With your back to him as you unlocked your door, he let out a cheer before speeding off. You smiled to yourself as you entered your house and JJ grinned his whole way home.

[feeder86]

The Feeders’ Foreplay

“You’re late,” stated the most attractive man Levi had ever seen as he opened the door to the uptown, grotesquely lavish apartment.

It took Levi a couple of seconds to swallow the wave of arousal upon seeing his hook-up in real life. Viewing the pictures on the app was one thing, but in person, Jac had a whole new level of sex appeal; maybe more than any other man alive. 

“I’m so sorry,” Levi stuttered, already sensing that the role play had started, judging by the harsh and stern way Jac was looking at him. “There were roadworks on 45th Street; burst water pipes, or something. The bus had to go around.” He stepped inside; his hardness already very substantial just by simply standing next to Jac.

“It makes no difference to me,” Jac finally relented. “It won’t affect my schedule. Although, it does mean that you just missed one of my transformations; a rather disgusting, skinny postal worker, now a deliciously oversized, blubbery monster!” he smiled with pride.

Levi sucked in hard, trying to control his arousal. He didn’t know that the role play would start this quickly, but he was glad that it had. Jac had been such a smooth talker since they had begun messaging a couple of days ago; not dropping out of character once. He claimed to have mercilessly fattened thousands of guys to outrageous sizes and spoke with such detail about the changes that he found so incredibly satisfying to observe.

Until about six months ago, Levi had always considered himself to be a feeder. He’d dated and fed quite a few fat guys in his time, although he didn’t ever have quite the imagination for role play; nor the natural affinity for domination like Jac did. He’d gained a little weight over the holidays last year; the fresh fat sitting over his six pack and arousing him more than he ever thought it would. He’d started to chat to other feeders; allowed himself to be encouraged by them, in much the same way as he had done in the past. Now he was thirty pounds heavier than he had ever been in his life, with a little round belly on him that gave him more kinky satisfation than he could ever have imagined. He lifted off his shirt, and allowed Jac to see the small little belly that he had developed, tapping it at the side to show him that it was genuinely quite soft. “Fatten me into one of your piggy boys!” he growled with lust.

Levi had only been fed by one other feeder before. It had been a new experience, having been stuffed to the brim with food until his stomach was rather painful. He remembered feeling incredibly uncomfortable on the bus ride home, despite the fact that climaxing at that level of fullness had been the most erotic thing he had ever experienced. Now he was definitely ready to do it again, feeling a desperate desire to impress the beautiful guy he had just met for the first time. He followed Jac through the apartment, gasping as he saw the amazing view through the windows, hardly able to comprehend his luck that he was even standing in one of these multi-million dollar penthouses. Was he really being led to the bedroom already?

Jac stood at the door, barring Levi’s entrance. “Take your pants off before you come in here,” he ordered; his tone suggesting that there was no room for compromise, nor that Jac would be dropping his dominant demeanor anytime soon.

“Yes, sir!” Levi grinned, eager to submit as he kicked off his shoes and removed his pants, along with his underwear. He’d always been proud of the size of his penis. It was something all guys commented on, and he stood there, decidedly erect, waiting for Jac to comment.

Jac merely glanced down and gave the briefest of scoffs. “I’ve got other boys in here,” Jac grinned. “I’m going to fatten them, just like I am you.” With that, he gave Levi’s plush little paunch a poke, spiking his arousal even more.

Levi moaned with pleasure. “I can’t wait to be your fat little piggy!” he declared, just as Jac leaned in for a kiss; their hands sliding all over each other. Then, with a kick of Jac’s foot, the door swung open, revealing the concealed room at last.

It was the smell that hit Levi first; the stale sweat of a gym changing room. Blackout blinds covered the windows, meaning that the large, otherwise empty space was lit only from a single bulb above. In the two furthest corners of the room, two handsome and built men sat on their knees, chained to the wall. One of them even had a ball gag in his mouth, looking up only briefly, before lowering his head once more.

“Run! Get out of here!” the other guy in the corner called out as Levi walked in with Jac. “Have you eaten anything yet? He’s going to fatten you like he did the others!”

Levi’s pulse raised even further. This whole role play was even kinkier than he had expected. He had no idea that there would be others getting involved. All the while, Levi kept on grinning with enthusiasm, despite feeling that the other guy was perhaps taking it a little far with the shouting. 

In the very middle of the room, Jac kissed him fiercely in front of the other two men, as if to assert his dominance. “I’ve saved you a spot just over here…” the sexy guy whispered, pointing at a set of chains that were screwed tightly into the corner of the room. He turned to the guy in the corner, still shouting at Levi to leave, zoning in on him, his gaze silencing the noisy man immediately. “Will, Will, Will…” Jac tutted. “Anyone would think you didn’t love me, going on like this!”

The man, who Levi now knew as Will, nodded his head, as if suddenly captivated by the beauty of Jac. “I love you…” he nodded slowly. “I love you so much!” 

“I know you do,” Jac agreed, smirking as if he was holding back a laugh. He stepped forward, pulling the good looking guy into his crotch. There, Will moaned with lust, mouth agape, breathing in the scent of his master, looking decidely desperate to suck the dick that was hidden underneath Jac’s clothes. 

Following Jac, once Will had been pacified, Levi slipped down onto his knees, copying the two other men in the room; allowing the sexy dominant to quietly cuff him.

“Good boy!” Jac smiled, looking down at Levi, now in his rightful place. “Are you hungry, little piggy?” he asked, rubbing the guy’s head and messing up his hair as another display of his total control over him, pulling his head into his crotch in much the same way as he had Will moments earlier.

“I’m starving!” Levi nodded, adding as much enthusiasm as he could, considering how much the other guys were all going for it.

Just behind the door, sat a small plate with a delicious looking cream cake. Levi licked his lips theatrically as Jac brought it towards him. “I prepared it just for you!” Jac declared, sitting it down on the floor in front of the naked Levi.

“Don’t eat that…” the other guy mumbled, as if not quite able to think clearly, but still trying hard.

“Dig in, Piggy!” Jac ordered, stepping back and allowing Levi to brace himself on all fours, something Levi was just about able to do given the sufficient slack on the chains. From there, he threw his mouth down straight onto it and gorged upon it in a way that he hoped Jac would find kinky and arousing. He licked around his mouth and could just about reach his nose to slide the mess onto his nose and suck it clean. “Good boy!” Jac laughed. “You did the right thing.”

Levi smiled, feeling that he would have done anything for Jac; absolutely anything in the world. He’d never met anyone like him before, and knew that he never would again.  But suddenly, Jac was leaving the room, as if he had lost interest in an instant. The door closed and Levi was left feeling a little disorientated, chained as he was to the wall. “Where’s he gone?” he asked the only other person who was able to speak to him.

“He…” the guy tried to reply, sounding hungover, before losing track entirely and falling silent.

Levi waited patiently, still feeling an incredible sense of eroticism for the scenario that he was in. He looked over at the other guys in there with him, admiring their fit, toned bodies. For that, Levi felt a small spike of jealousy. Although he had decided to give into his gaining urges for the past few months, Levi knew he wouldn’t keep at it for long. Before the summer ended, he planned to start a big cut and get back in shape. This belly, as cute as it was, was not going to be a permanent fixture, that was for sure. He wasn’t quite ready to lose himself entirely to these kinks of his.

After fifteen minutes or so, Levi heard voices once more, coming from somewhere in the apartment. “Here comes another one,” the guy in the corner mumbled, apparently waking up a little more than before. “Every hour a new one of us arrives!”

Even the other man in the corner looked up as the door opened and Jac walked in with a new person by his side. Levi recognised him right away as Harry, a guy he’d spoken to many times online. Undressed and naked, he followed Jac into the room, much like Levi only half an hour earlier; his erection just as solid as Levi’s was now upon seeing Jac once more. Although slightly shorter in real life than Levi had pictured him, Harry was a beautifully toned and handsome guy, with a wicked way with words when he’d encouraged Levi to overeat whilst they had been online together in the past. But why would Harry be interested in coming to a feeder’s place? Was he here to feed Levi as well? Or, would Jac feed them both together? Fuck! That would be a super hot scenario to be in!

“You need to go now!” a groggy, chained-up Will called out as Harry kissed Jac with passion in the middle of the room. “Run!”

“Hey, Harry!” Levi chimed in. “What’re you doing here?” he asked, despite not really being heard over the noise of his overzealous companion in the room. He sighed; finding the guy’s performance a little overdone. “Don’t worry about him,” he called to Harry. “I think he might be an actor or something. I’m not sure about the other guy,” he nodded across the room to the man in the ball gag.

“These are my piggies,” Jac announced before Harry could reply or even acknowledge Levi at all. “Are you ready to join them?”

“Hell yeah!” Harry nodded with lust, slipping down onto his knees and allowing the chains to be placed around his wrists. Levi felt a pang of excitement too. Now that the room was filled, maybe they would finally start getting going with this super kinky role play!

“You’re just in time for the show,” Jac grinned with excitement. “But, first things first…” he smirked, disappearing for only a second and returning with another cream cake, identical to the one Levi had eaten. “Are you ready to impress me?”

“Don’t eat it!” cried the man in the corner again, making Levi roll his eyes. The guy probably thought he was adding a sense of mystery and intrigue to this role play, however, he seemed to shout with such conviction that it actually became a bit of a buzz-kill.

“Eat it up, Harry!” Levi shouted across. “I’ve had mine. It was delicious!”

Harry did exactly as he was instructed, overcome with arousal for Jac and this scenario in much the same way that Levi was. Their keeper, Jac, laughing with delight as he saw the piggish way Harry guzzled it down with such enthusiasm. 

As soon as Harry was done, Jac turned his back on him, looking instead at the man with the ball gag, in the corner next to Harry. Dripping in sweat, the man seemed reluctant to look Jac in the eyes, positively squirming as he became Jac’s focus. “I said 6.15, didn’t I, Piggy?” Jac smirked, holding up his wrist to look at his expensive watch as it ticked down the time. “And that is in fifty seconds from now!”

With that, Jac reached down, removed the ball gag and managed to unclip the cuffs on the man’s wrists with surprising speed. “Please… please don’t…” the muscular captive mumbled even after they’d kissed with surprising sweetness.

Jac seemed to revel in his whimpering. “No, Piggy. It’s too late…” he laughed.

“I don’t think I want to be a…”

��Awh! That’s just too bad, Piggy!” Jac teased him, with an obvious hard-on pressing against the crotch of his pants. “Just ten more seconds!”

Their lips met once more, but with a final surge of energy, the man seemed to tear himself away and quickly made for the door.

Jac simply stood with an even bigger grin on his face as he watched his captive flee. “Run!” cried Will. “Find the front door!”

“3…2…1…” counted an elated Jac, holding up his watch again as he kept a beady eye on the naked man staggering his way down the long corridor; the sounds of door handles being tried were all everyone, apart from Jac, could now detect from the escapee.

Suddenly, a loud moan was heard from the corridor, followed by the most tremendous burp that roared up with a fury. Jac laughed with sheer joy. His cruel eyes seemed to dance with fire and his smile was brighter than anything Levi had ever seen before. Then he left, following the fleeing man and closing the door behind them both.

Now, the shouting man in the corner lowered his head in defeat. “It’s too late,” he simply mumbled.

“Is he coming back?” new-boy, Harry, asked Levi, surprised that they had all been left alone in the room.

“Yeah, he’ll be back,” Levi nodded, keen to show his expertise. “This whole thing is kinky as fuck!” he growled, feeling even more aroused now that Harry was here as well.

“You boys have no idea…” the other man sighed, shaking his head in disapproval, but thankfully remaining silent thereafter.

The time passed with relative speed after that; now that Levi had someone to chat to in the room. It seemed that Harry was just as aroused as Levi was and they spent their time speculating over the many possible erotic scenarios that might unfold next; both of them very much convinced that the performance of the previously ball-gagged man in the corner had all been that of an actor. The other guy in the corner simply shook his head silently, only confirming in Levi and Harry’s mind that he was part of this storyline as well. 

“Fucking hell! Another one!” Levi mumbled in surprise as he heard a new voice from outside of the room. Harry raised his eyebrows as well. It was true; someone else had indeed arrived at the apartment. 

Levi looked over at their other companion, Will, trying to gauge whether he too was expecting yet another guy to be joining them that evening. However, as Levi turned his head, his nose picked up the stench of sweat. Will’s face and, indeed, his entire body was positively glistening. 

“Jeez, dude! You stink!” Levi grumbled, having decided that he didn’t care how impolite he sounded. Will had been far too into his role and had spoiled some of the eroticism when both he and Harry had arrived.

In walked Jac once more; this time with a young, handsome guy that Levi thought he recognised from somewhere, although he wasn’t all that sure. Their dominant host introduced them all as the ‘piggies’ once again; Levi and Harry nodding with lustful pleasure to go along with it all. When Jac told the new boy to get down on the floor to be cuffed in the now vacant corner, both Harry and Levi cheered him on; as they did when his cream cake was served and the horned-up guy had to eat it all whilst on all-fours in his corner. This time, the previously vocal man in the corner was completely silent; perhaps reflecting on the fact that his earlier performances had been a little over the top.

After the initiation was done, Jac turned his attention back to the only man who had been there longer than Levi. “Oh dear, little piggy!” he laughed, seeming to notice just how sweaty the guy had become. “It looks like it’s almost your turn… How exciting!”

Jac leaned down and unlocked the man’s chains. Despite the guy’s resistance and overzealous approach to the role play earlier, he seemed to have changed character completely. He was now playing someone a lot more submissive, resigned to the inevitable as Jac lavished him with attention at last. The pair kissed and touched each other as if so desperately in love. But then Jac pulled back and laughed. He tugged at the guy’s arm, pulling him to the middle of the room, directly under the single hanging bulb.

“Are you ready to show these piggies what they’re in for?” Jac asked. “None of them have seen it yet. You’re the only one!”

The man was silent and he closed his eyes tight shut as he saw Jac raise his wrist to count the seconds ticking down on his watch. Levi didn’t know why he was so aroused. It was probably the done thing that they were all to run out of the room at this point, wherein the next part of this sexually charged scenario would continue. But the man didn’t seem as though he intended to move. Instead, all his muscles were tensed, as if he was bracing himself for a massive impact. His eyes were closed tight, as if he never expected to open them again.

“5…4…”

Levi and the other boys joined in, smiling with arousal as the sexy Jac toyed with them all.

“3…2…1…”

As all four of them called out ‘Zero,’ the man in the middle of the room suddenly doubled over slightly, growling as though a great wave of pain had just attacked his stomach. He lifted his head once more, then gave the loudest, most intense burp, as if there was to be no air left in his body at all.

Jac’s eyes danced with burning light as Will’s body started moving in the most unnatural manner; his hips rocking back and forth, slowly at first, then faster and faster. The coordination and choreography involved was really quite impressive, Levi thought. But then things started to get stranger and Levi stopped smiling with glee as something else began happening. Will’s stomach seemed to be bloating. He’d thought the guy had been pushing it out to start with, but now it seemed far too extreme to be explained away just like that. Now when his hips shook, there was a definite flutter of jiggle in what appeared to be love-handles actually forming on his sides. Jac seemed to have noticed as well, for inbetween his howls of delight, he began poking and prodding Will in the areas that were causing Levi to look up with such alarm. He wanted to look across at Harry and ask if he knew what this was, but the horror of it all kept his eyes glued in place. Will was literally changing before their eyes. There was no way that this could be anything but real.

The swell of Will’s stomach, inflating more and more, began to resemble a very real paunch in almost no time at all. Even his groin was filling with mass. With his side-on view, Levi could also so the width of Will also increasing. His thighs and butt were increasing in size, however it was obvious that there was absolutely nothing but pure fat being deposited all over his body. Pretty soon, his swollen tummy had an actual shelf below his chest; something else that appeared to be softening with extreme speed. As his body rocked, his nipples began to jiggle more and more, showing that Will no longer had the extreme athleticism that he once had. With his eyes still shut tight, Will looked like he was trying desperately to igore or fight back anything that was being done to him. His face was swelling with fat, stealing his jawline entirely and seeming to build itself, wrapping around his neck like a scarf and creating the beginnings of a small bump at the very back of his head.

Jac, hysterical with joy, continued poking and prodding the fattening man. He could now fill his entire hand with the blubber around Will’s waist and so he grabbed at it keenly, shaking and wobbling the fat as if to remind Will that this was actually happening to him. But Jac also took time to glance over at the three other guys, laughing as he saw the fear and surprise in their eyes.

Things suddenly became a lot more serious. The fat that had acumulated on Will’s stomach was now expanding further, reshaping itself with folds in the skin. Jac raised the guy’s arms in the air so that he could witness this phase better; the fat encircling his waist, making it look like a ball was being pumped from within. The fat from his chest had started gathering under his arms and his nipples seemed to slide out of place as they jiggled and bounced.

When Jac dropped the guy’s arms and slapped Will’s butt, Levi couldn’t get over how much the fat rippled across the glutes and thighs. What’s more, Levi hadn’t even noticed the gradual loss of definition in the guy’s muscular arms until they were now large, doughy and shapeless with fat. His neck was disappearing entirely, with large puffed up cheeks masking the striking man he used to be. As the gut pushed outwards, the fat simulatenously swelled into his back and rear, widening him in all directions. The man’s penis, once a prominent feature, was now almost entirely masked by the blubbery thighs and a strange sack of fat, like a small belly, that had filled Will’s groin, threatening to bury his penis entirely. Then, all of a sudden, the man’s swollen belly began to sag and the genitals disappeared entirely out of Levi’s view.

Every part of Will’s body now wobbled and bounced. Levi had no idea how massive the man had become, knowing only that he was larger than any of the guys he had ever checked out on the gaining websites and socials he visited. At some point, the great fattening spectacle ended and Will fell into the unnaturally strong arms of Jac, having clearly fainted. “You’re next, piglets!” he laughed, looking around at the three chained guys in the room, whilst holding the well over five hundred pound man up like an enormous teddy bear. Then, with complete ease, he dragged Will out of the room and shut the door. 

“What the fuck!” shouted the new guy from the corner once they were alone. “Was that real?”

“I think so,” Levi nodded, somehow sounding calm.

“He told me not to eat the food,” Harry mumbled, pointing accusingly at Levi; his mind clearly recounting everything that had happened previously.

Levi felt a pang of guilt, having actively encouraged the other two to do exactly what Jac had wanted.

“He doesn’t care! He’s already fat!” the newest guy suddenly blasted, turning on Levi as well. “He probably wants this!” he growled with anger.

“I’m not fat like that!” Levi stated defensively, looking down at his small tummy. “Why are we even arguing about this?”

“We’ve got to get out of here!” Harry suddenly jumped in, tugging at the strong chains that held him to the wall.

“And what good would that do?” Levi asked. “I think we all know that whatever caused Will to fatten like that… it was the same thing that was in those cakes we ate.”

“Well, I’m not sticking around to find out,” Harry proclaimed with defiance, straining himself as he tried to pull even harder at the chains.

“Harry, come on! Be smart about this! You don’t even have any clothes.”

“So, what, we just accept that we’re toast?” the new guy added, outraged.

“We need to think about how we convince the next guy to run for it so that he doesn’t fall into this trap as well,” Levi reasoned.

“Coming from the guy who positively encouraged us to eat that cream cake?” Harry blasted angrily.

“I didn’t know that this was all real!” Levi tried to defend himself. “I was a little late. I didn’t see this happen to the other guys in here.”

“There were others?” the new guy asked with horror.

“It seems to go like clockwork. A new guy arrives every eighty minutes or so. It’s like some sort of twisted conveyorbelt,” Levi explained, suddenly remembering that he was next to reach the end of it.

The boys pondered on that idea for some time and they sat in silence, contemplating their fate. It was hard to tell how quickly or slowly time ran in that deserted room. Sometimes they would hear the distant sounds of Jac talking with someone on the phone, flirting with them in much the same way he had captured Levi, along with the other two.

“You sound so kinky…” Jac was heard to flirt. He seemed to be standing directly outside of the room, as if to deliberately tease and goad his chained-up victims. “I want to turn you into my big fat boy… Come over. Let me feed you!” He laughed and moaned down the phone, pretending to find whatever lustful retort his prospective victim came up with the most arousing thing he had heard all year. “My address? Are you really sure? I’m a very kinky guy, you know? I like to lock my boys up and feed them. Then I watch them fatten and grow for me.”

The three boys all looked at each other feeling extremely foolish. There was nothing that Jac had told them that wasn’t true. They’d all been warned; every last one of them.

Levi contemplated the transformation he had just witnessed, trying to convince himself that it had all been some sort of elaborate trick. Things like that simply could not happen in real life; not really. But he’d witnessed it himself; with his own eyes. Inexplicably, it somehow felt harder to recall the details as the minutes crept away; as if the memory of it was slowly being erased from his mind entirely. The time continued to slip by and Levi sat quietly, listening to the other two chatting with relative calmness, despite feeling no desire to join in himself. He felt like a black cloud was hovering over him, getting darker and more angry as the seconds ticked away. In fact, Levi was only pulled out of his own thoughts when he noticed a huge bead of sweat rolling down his nose and splashing onto the floor.

“Are you all right?” Harry asked, suddenly noticing the way Levi was looking at his arms and torso.

“I think this is how it starts,” Levi fretted, lifting his arm and smelling the stench of sweat. He could hardly believe the words as they tumbled out of his mouth. “I think it might be my turn!”

Right on cue, the three boys heard someone new arriving in the apartment. “GET OUT OF HERE!” they began shouting; although none of them seemed to recall exactly why. It was just something they said they would do for a purpose that wasn’t completely clear in their heads. “HE’S GOT US LOCKED UP! CALL THE POLICE!”

As they shouted and wailed, it was clear that the voices were still getting closer and closer to the room. Suddenly, the door opened and in walked a smiling athletic guy, naked and already rubbing his own hardness as he surveyed the chains and other naked guys. “This is so fucking horny!” he grinned with arousal, only seeming to stroke his dick harder as the three of them tried to warm him. He swept in to kiss Jac, looking just as besotted as they all were.

After the kiss, Jac simply stood and listened to them shouting and wailing their warnings. His smile filled his face and Levi suddenly understood that this was actually his real game; where the thrill of his set up really gave him a buzz. He gave all his victims plenty of warning, yet they would all fall into his trap, no matter what. “You see that sweaty piggy in the corner?” he pointed at Levi. “The one with the blubbery, little paunch on him? He’s the next one I’m going to do it to.”

“What’re you going to feed him?” the latest guy asked, still stroking himself with absolute arousal.

Jac took the guy’s hand, stopping him from pleasuring himself and taking his first steps to control at long last. “First things first…” he smiled, pointing into the now vacant corner of the room.

Levi had given up shouting now, but the other two were still trying, watching as the handsome boy slipped onto his knees and allowed the chains to be fixed around his wrists. Then, with eyes filled with love and lust for his captor, the boy slipped onto all fours and inhaled the cream cake that was brought to him. 

The two other guys fell suddenly silent, realising, just like Levi, that all their warnings were futile. Jac would always win.

“Come on, little piggy!” Jac smiled at Levi, bending down to unlock his chains.

Despite himself, Levi felt the semi he’d had since Jac came in suddenly stiffen into concrete. There was just something so all-consuming about the man’s presence. Even with everything Levi thought he knew, he still felt… in love.

“Now, you’re going to be a good piggy, aren’t you?” Jac asked him. “We’ve got to show the new boy what’s in store for him,” he stated seriously, positioning the sweaty Levi under the single light bulb, facing the newest captive, as if he was about to put on a show. “Hmm, what do you have to say for yourself?” he teased.

Levi swallowed, deciding that fighting this was not something he could physically do. “I’m a good piggy,” he nodded, looking earnestly up at the man he was most attracted to in the whole world.

Jac’s face spread with surprise and delight at Levi’s submission. “Oh, you are?” he laughed. “You hear that?” he called to the other three. “This one says he’s a good piggy!” He turned to speak softly into Levi’s ear. “Are you going to fatten up beautifully for me? Turn this little belly of yours into something spectacular?”

“Yes,” Levi nodded.

Jac smirked and raised his arm to look at his watch. “Do the countdown with me then, Piggy!” he whispered. “10… 9…8…”

Levi tried to join him, but he was at least half a second behind Jac each time; too overcome with the experience.

“6….5…4…”

Levi looked at the newest guy in front of him; his wide smile and naive understanding of where he actually was.

“3…2…”

Levi couldn’t finish. A deep, primal urge to roll forwards and hold his stomach suddenly overcame him. He moaned from the dull pain that seemed to be emanating from his stomach, then he suddenly stood upright, opening his throat and letting out the most insane burp of his entire life. He started to notice that his hips were shaking backwards and forwards, with Jac crying out in delight; his words incomprehensible to Levi at that moment with all the strange physical sensations that were ripping through his body. He placed his hands on his stomach, feeling it rising like dough beneath his chest. Then Jac smacked his hands away so that he didn’t block anyone else’s view of the transformation that was already beginning to occur.

“Look at him!” Jac was shouting, as Levi felt his butt being slapped and his love handle pinched. “Look at this beautiful fat! It’s fantastic!”

As Levi’s body rocked uncontrollably, he began to feel more and more areas jiggling. He knew his ass had started to swell, for it shook wildy. But then that jiggle started to spill out, into his thighs and even into his back. Since his little gain after the holidays, he’d already experienced a little movement in his chest, but now he felt his nipples shaking like never before, with the feeling of an odd mass beginning to surround his erect penis.

Levi knew that he had altered by quite a considerable amount, for the new victim in the corner now curled up against the wall, starting with shock and horror. Levi tried to look down, feeling a ring of fat squeezing into his neck. He saw his hands, unrecognisable with chubby fingers and mere dimples where his knuckles once were. Then, all of sudden, there it was: a giant mass of stomach that had created its own shelf beneath his doughy chest. Jac had slipped his finger inside the belly button and was using it to shake the incredible, soft lard that had formed such a giant tank on his body.

Standing up and keeping balance was getting harder. Levi readjusted his feet, but he always felt the strong arm of Jac pressing against his back, as if he knew exactly when he was needed to step in. Levi let his head rock back and rest against Jac’s broad chest, surrendering himself entirely to the fattening that was occurring. 

“Ata, boy!” Jac cooed, enjoying Levi’s total surrender, allowing the magic of the transformation to tear through him without the slightest resistance. 

Levi began to breathe deeply, feeling an incredibly warm and tingling arousal in his penis. He closed his eyes and moaned softly. He could feel his whole body swinging backwards and forwards like a large, increasingl heavy and speherical pendulum. But the feeling of arousal was so pleasant and comforting, there in Jac’s strong grip. He had no concept of how fat he had grown, but in that moment, he had no regrets in the slightest. It was as if Jac had been the person he had been waiting to meet his entire life.

“I think you’re going to be my fattest pig of the day,” Jac whispered, sending Levi into an inexplicably instant and intense orgasm that made him howl and his knees buckle, forcing Jac to hold him up entirely.

Levi felt his eyes grow heavy. The transformation over.

“You’re next!” he heard Jac laugh towards Harry. Then he felt his entire, monstrously obese body being dragged out of the room, with no idea what would come next.

[marleyybluu]

Dreams

Spooky x black!reader

Summary: Your moms dreams… kinda come true.

No warnings. Pure fluff.

Yes Spooky as a dad again bcus it’s hot. And he’s hot. And I’m feral.

Yoooo I had the funniest idea. Idk why but imagine:

Gif intimidating for no reason he was just sexy asf here

You and Spooky have been together for a couple years, he’s a sweetheart despite the energy he gives out in the streets.

You’re his entire world and he’s done everything to impress you and even impress your mom.

Considering it’d just been you and your mother since day 1 it meant a lot that they liked each other.

More so loved each other because she treated him like her own child.

And though you and her were very close and told each other almost everything you obviously couldn’t tell her the… specific activities that you and Oscar often participate in.

Though she wasn’t an air head. She assumed it anyway.

So one day you enter your home surprised to see her home from work but also glad because you could spend the rest of the day with her. You sit on the couch and nudge her with a smile.

“What’s going on old lady?” She rolled her eyes at that name. Often saying you two could pass as sisters. “Nothing, got home early. Figured I’d rest before I cook.”

You nodded and joined her in her Real Housewives of Atlanta marathon, the both of you sucked into the show quickly until a commercial came on, your mother muted the tv and turned to you.

You were puzzled and looked to the side and back at her in confusion.

“I had a dream last night.”

Only God in Heaven knew what it was with black mothers and their dreams, specifically mothers from the Caribbean. You remembered the days when she’d tell you about a dream she had just before you’d leave for a party.

You’d get all freaked out but everything would be fine when you arrived.

You sighed entertaining this one. “About what mom?”

“Fish.”

Your eyes widened. As the story goes, when they dream about anything involving fish. Someone’s pregnant. But it couldn’t be you. You had no symptoms, your period was always irregular so missing it never scared you.

You started to sweat as she continued. “Yeah, I was back home, with you and your grandfather on his boat. The one named after you remember?”

“Mhm.”

“And we caught sooo many fish, of all kinds, it almost took down the boat.” You didn’t want to ask but you had to. “So… what are you telling me?”

She shrugged. “Is there something you want to tell me?”

“It must be you that’s ready fi have a baby.” You nervously laughed. Right on cue a car door slammed in the driveway and through the window you could see Spooky come out of the car. You bolted to the door opening it before he could knock.

“Hola papito.”

“Hola princesa,” He smiled kissing your head. “Hola mami.” He nodded greeting your mom. “Hey Oscar. Good to see you. Make sure you bring my babies back in one piece.” Emphasis on the plural.

You rolled your eyes pushing him out the door. You two left and rode around Freeridge grabbing food and sliding over to the trap house. One your trip you had stopped by a store and went in by yourself making up and excuse that you needed something for your mom but really… you went to get a test.

That damn dream was freaking you the fuck out.

Your leg bounced as you sat on toilet lid waiting for the timer to go off. Spooky could be heard outside on the porch laughing with his friends.

A beeping went off and you picked up the test not even looking at it, you didn’t want to. But you had to. You popped one eye open and looked down.

Pregnant.

Fuck sake that old lady was right.

A knock on the bathroom door startled you. “Baby, you good?”

You stood up and unlocked the door letting him inside while you held the test behind your back. “You okay?”

“My mom had a dream last night.”

He chuckled. “Okay?”

“The dream made her think that I’m pregnant.”

“…Yeah?”

The longer you two looked at each other the more it began to click for him. “You’re joking?” You placed the test back on the counter. “Apparently not. I used to think that woman was a psychic you know.”

Spooky smiled from ear to ear. “You’re having my baby?”

“I am having your baby.” You laughed. He scooped you up in his arms and showered you in pure love. He was over the moon. So happy to have a little family and you just knew he’d be a great father.

You decided to call your mom, and when she picked up you could already feel her “I told you so” coming. You grumbled. “So… apparently I do have something to tell you.”

She smiled on the other line. “Mhm, what’d I say?”

“Whatever grandma.”

I liked this better than what I posted last night so... I deleted pottery.

if you liked this fic feel free to like this fic. comment and reblogs help and are appreciated

peace and love

Tags: @skyesthebomb

[jeanbie]

WORDLESS #5 ★ masterlist.

pairing: levi x reader

genre: sugar daddy & contract killer au | warnings: implied violence, establishing feelings, mentions/references to john wick & the continental | wc: 6.8k

note: who expected me to actually finish this? (answer: no one) i'm so glad that i got to finish "wordless" and put these two losers in a place they deserve to be in! this chapter is the finale and also almost entirely from levi's pov, and this one flows in a chronological order :)

★ ch1. ch2. ch3. ch4. ch5

⏤ Sometimes, saying “I love you” is inappropriate, and given your circumstances, you think it might send Levi over the edge if he hears them again. But maybe he's ready now.

(41) Giving them space when they express wanting to have some time alone.

It’s been a hot second since Levi saw you — and it’s killing him more than he’d care to admit.

Since the blow up in the shower over girls he wasn’t fucking in the first place, Levi hasn’t heard from you, and he hasn’t made much of an effort to reach out either.

Why did he even lie? There was no benefit from telling you he was seeing other girls; the only reason he said that so often was to manage the healthy boundaries between you, to remind you not to get too close, to remind himself that being with you is a risk.

Not that pushing you away has made his life any easier. On the contrary, he thinks it’s made everything worse.

It is almost dehumanising to admit it to himself, but he misses you. Since your rather unconventional first meet — which was a far cry from any ‘meet cute’ that normal situationships had — Levi has been telling himself that the circumstances surrounding you being in his life were unique at best, and that you weren’t permanent.

But now, he lives his life around a ghost of your body, making room for you in his home, making time out of his schedule, making arrangements to keep you happy. 

Okay. Maybe it’s a little bit too late to acknowledge the feelings he has for you. Levi knows they’re there — he’s not an idiot. But making those feelings real is something he just can’t afford to do. Not yet. Not while there’s too much going on in his life.

Still, he stares longingly at the door every night when he staggers back home, as if hoping you might take him by surprise and crawl back into his arms. Not that you do, at least not for a while; not until Levi grows fed up of waiting and finds you first.

But for now, he’ll grant you he space that you need, the space you deserve. And in the meantime, he’ll try and make peace with the waging war in his head.

(42) Holding their hand while walking, even if there isn’t a crowd.

“This is nice.”

The neighbourhood Levi now lives in is much smaller than the last one. It pales in comparison to the condo it took forever to finally move out of, but having consistent security breaches just for a tiring view of the river didn’t feel worth it for Levi anymore. It made no difference to him if the apartment he all but owns for you is much farther away — you’re barely ever there, anyway.

Since putting his angst to rest, and since making it known to you that you’re quite literally the only woman he likes enough to keep buying houses for and invite over, things have been calm between you.

There’s still a strange unspoken thing, the remains of an agreement made out of convenience so long ago, to feed both the lust and pride Levi wanted and the safety you craved; but in general, Levi acknowledges that what he has with you right now feels like the closest thing he’s had to a partner in a long, long time.

Levi looks over at you, feeling your hand tighten in his as you cross a cute little park covered in flowery bushes and beds of tulips. 

“I’m glad my neighbourhood has your stamp of approval,” he replies, tightening his fingers around yours before pulling up slightly to stuff your joined hands into his pocket. Though it’s spring now, there’s still a bite in the air, a chill that Levi is determined to shelter you from.

“Technically,” you start, and Levi can predict, like a robot, what you’ll say next, and mouths the words as they fall from your lips, “it’s mine, too.” Your eyes turn piercing as you scowl at him, “Hey! Don’t…predictive text me.”

“Then stop being so predictable.”

“I think we spend too much time together,” you mutter, looking back at the flowerbed you’re currently passing by.

Levi scoffs to himself and playfully scratches a nail against the hand lodged in his pocket.

“Then go away,” he says. No chance, is what runs through his head, and the coy smile you flash him is as equally predictable as the word he knows you’ll say next, starting with n and ending in o.

(43) Holding shopping bags that are too heavy for them.

Ever since Levi figured out how to share locations, he’s become obsessed with watching you move around on the map on his phone. Numerous times, he’s slipped up on spending hours watching your little circle move, sometimes not even moving at all.

If you had any complaints, he hasn’t heard them, though he very much doubts that you’ll complain in the future now that his stalking has worked out in your favour.

You might have initially thought that bumping into Levi outside the supermarket was a rather delightful coincidence — that was until he moved across the city, and has no real business in your area unless it concerns you.

“Perfect timing,” you say once you see him crossing the small car park in your direction. He has half a mind to pretend he hasn’t seen you and keep walking, but watching you struggle with your shopping is painful enough.

He grunts, reaching for the bag that is squeezing the blood from your fingers. “Don’t get proud about it.”

Sniggering, you happily let Levi grab the overweight bags and fall into an even step beside him. 

“Why do you have so much stuff?” Levi huffs. To be fair, the bags aren’t that heavy, but he can’t see any reason for you to have bought so much considering you live at his house more often than you do your own. “You gonna share this shit?”

“If you want,” you reply. “You paid for it.”

His tongue clicks. Levi hasn’t paid you a penny since he last felt guilty about the fact he rarely paid you, despite that being the very foundation of your relationship in the first place, but even with what he paid you and hasn’t since that point, he knows your bank account is more than comfortable. Paying for all of this has barely made a dent, but that’s what the money’s there for.

He makes his way to his car pulled up outside the car park turning in a layby and struggles in his pocket for his keys.

“I live five minutes away,” you remind him, steps slowing. 

“No, you just said you’d share it, so we're going to mine.”

With a sigh, you’re left with no other choice but to follow him to his car. “You know, the romance of you carrying my bags is lost now you’ve only walked it to the car.”

Before he pops open the boot of the car, he turns to you and sneers, “You want me to walk back and let you do it yourself?”

There’s no argument to be had. You get into the car.

(44) Standing between them and a busy road.

Habits. Levi hates to keep track of how many he’s developed since you entered his life almost two years ago. Time has gone by so quickly since the day he first met you, in the worst way possible, but since then, he’s transformed into a whole new person, a whole new paranoid man who overthinks everything because there’s no other option.

His habits as of late include worrying about you whenever you’re not around — whenever he’s at work, he’ll think of you. Whenever he’s in a different city or country, Levi will obsessively worry over what you might be doing, who might be on your trail, scenting your every move while you’re vulnerable. Another habit includes feeling like an overbearing parent even when he’s in the same five mile radius, but at least he’s self aware of it.

If you’ve noticed Levi becoming more clingy, less like who he swore he’d never change from, you haven’t mentioned it yet. Perhaps a small mercy to save him the mortifying task of admitting that he has feelings stored away for you. 

Today, Levi has fallen victim to his habits of worry and has walked himself all the way to your university just to walk you all the way back home. His home, not yours. In a sense, your home, too. In an unspoken way.

Levi stands waiting for you in the overhang, gaze trained on the thick grey sky until he hears your class file out of the building in a chatter. Sasha is who he sees first, followed by another one of your friends he’s never met but has seen on Instagram once or twice, and then he sees you, looking thankfully in good spirits, and all too beautiful for your own good.

When you see him standing with his hands in his pockets, he allows himself the pleasure of pride when you break away from your friends just to join him, the smile on your face so genuine and radiant that he has to scoff in amusement.

“Hey, you,” you call, falling into his arms. 

“Hey, yourself.”

“I didn’t know you were coming today,” you confess, pulling away to stare curiously at his withdrawn expression. Levi is already twisting an arm around your waist to walk you down the step and across the lawn. “I told Sasha I’d go to her café and wait for her shift to end. Didn’t you have that thing today?”

“What thing?” he mutters.

“The thing with Erwin. And some deadbeat called George, or something.”

“How many Korean men do you know named George?” Levi deadpans, though his arm does tighten around you in caution. “You shouldn’t even know about that. How do you even know?”

The busy road widens into view as you leave the closed campus. Levi’s pretty much counting the days before you graduate and never have to come here again, and the time is passing strangely slow in that department. It feels like it’s been ages since you enrolled, and he wants nothing more than for you to leave and become the greatest journalist in the world — or whatever it is you even want to do when you’re done. 

As you walk, you lean into Levi’s side, furthering the distance between yourself and the road bustling with cars and buses. He frowns.

One of your habits since the accident on the bridge with your family had been to avoid busy roads, as if convinced something might happen again. You’ve told him numerous times that it’s irrational, but Levi doesn’t think so. It’s a very normal thing to feel afraid of everything, even when those things are a little on the unrealistic side.

Naturally, it results in Levi sliding his arm from around your waist and replacing it with his other one, positioning himself between you and the chaotic lines of commuting cars going home.

His heart flips when you smile at him for it, linking your arm around his while moving your waist out of his grip. Levi tries not to let it get to his head how much you trust him, how much he cares for you. But by the minute, he’s losing the will to keep it hidden.

(45) Rubbing the back of their hand with a thumb.

Back to habits, there are some that Levi has that he’s not particularly as proud of. But, as expected, you’re as good as it gets, and any habit he thinks he might have gotten away with hiding, somehow you pick up on it.

Levi flicks through a blueprint laying flat over his kitchen table, his hands nervously drumming the edge of the tabletop as he tries to memorise the elaborate labyrinth of a building he’ll be breaking into later to find his next hit. Usually, Levi has you at his home before and just after taking a job, just to eliminate the threat of you being hurt as a punishment. 

He wishes that the company gave you unrestricted entry and protection without him being there to clear it, but in order for that privilege, Levi needed to address you as his partner, which just felt like an even larger target on your head. So, he settles for his home, though the worry does not cease.

This building is riddled with passageways and vaults, basement levels with so many access points that studying them feels intense. One wrong recollection could come at the cost of his life, and at the minute, his life has increased in value. Things are finally going right for him, it would be a shame to have it all taken away from him again.

A text from Erwin sounds next to him, and Levi all but glances at the screen to see what’s happening. All assistance available should he need it — he almost sighs with relief at the words.

In the past, Levi had thought he could never work in cohorts with other hitmen, but becoming partners with Erwin and his henchmen has been working in his favour. 

Still, it doesn’t hurt to learn the layout off by heart. So, Levi pours himself over the blueprints and maps, memorising every detail, becoming so engrossed in it that he barely even hears you letting yourself inside of his apartment.

Your shoes hit the wall with a noise that makes him suddenly aware of your arrival, and he glances up to see you peeking into the kitchen, eyes scanning the room for any unfortunate signs of Elio before you approach him.

He notices the street market bag and inhales the smell of spice before looking back at the maps. “Hope you’re gonna share that.”

“Of course,” you reply, offended he even thought you might not. You place the container of tteokbokki on the table before sliding around to his side, eyes glued to the rolls of paper. “Where’s this?”

“Less you know, the better,” he mutters, leaning his head into your mouth as you kiss his jaw. 

For a while, you say nothing, letting Levi memorise what he needs to while you assess the prints for yourself. Eventually, you shift your hand over his and squeeze, making him glance at you sideways. 

You’re looking at him already, though you can’t see his eyes from the way he’s hunched over. Spotting Levi’s signs of anxiety must be incredibly easy, because somehow you’ve caught on, and begin to rub the back of his hand with your thumb, nose pressed into his bicep. 

“Come eat,” you suggest quietly, after a while of basking in the silence with him.

He grunts, a typical Levi sound, and nudges you away. Though, you only shuffle to the drawer to fetch two forks — forks! He scoffs, rolling his shoulders as he rounds the table to take one from your fingers. 

“Easier to stab with a fork,” you offer as an explanation.

“If my mother was here to see me eating tteokbokki with a fork, she’d lose her goddamn mind.”

“Well…” You start, trailing off after a moment. You’ve got nothing to say; he’s won the argument just by bringing Kuchel up, and both of you know it.

Scowling, you stab another wedge of tteok and chew it furiously, meanwhile Levi smirks to himself, victorious.

(46) Giving them a back massage when they flop on the couch or bed.

“I need to retire. I’m getting too old for this shit.”

“No way. How old are you now, like, twenty eight?”

“…I’m thirty.”

“Best looking thirty year old I’ve ever seen. Roll over, I’ll massage your back, if you want?”

If he ever refuses a massage from you, he’s an idiot.

Levi rolls over ungraciously, hitting the mattress on his stomach with a low groan. He rolls his shoulders, the bones cracking comically loud, and as you shuffle up to straddle his back, he groans again.

“Oh fuck off, I’m not heavy.”

Levi sniggers into the pillow, though as soon as your hands start to work their magic, he moans, the pleasure instantaneous. 

“Make a house back there, if you want. Just don’t stop.”

(47) Staying up half the night to finish a game with them.

“I can’t do it if you’re not here, Levi. You need to get over here.”

“Do you not see that I’m trying?”

“You’re terrible at this game.”

Levi scoffs. He wouldn’t be so terrible if he actually knew how to play properly. His character begins to run in circles without him even asking him to, and Levi growls angrily.

“Fucks sake, this bitch is pissing me off.” Then, he wrangles the controller from your hands as you protest and says, “You be him instead.”

“But I don’t want to be Cody.”

“Me neither.”

As soon as you start moving little Cody around, Levi peers in scrutiny at the controller in your hand and how it so suddenly has stopped drifting on its own. There’s a circular dent in your inner cheek where your tongue is, and Levi scowls in your direction.

“You were sabotaging me,” he accuses, eyes focused back on May as she stumbles around uncoordinatedly.

“I think you’re just really bad,” you reply. Cody is moving fine, and finally, the mechanism moves and the story can progress. Hm.

Levi’s eyes bore into yours as you shift to face him, elbows snug in the blanket bundled around you both. Levi has been laying low for around two weeks now — he’s surprised with just how much he likes not having to work. Though, there have been a few times whilst playing this infuriating game where Levi has wished to be anywhere else. 

“You’re good at a lot of things,” you tell him sincerely, “but just not games. And that’s okay. You tried.”

“I’m good at games,” he replies, offended.

You raise your eyebrows, “Like what?”

“Your animal living game.”

“Animal Crossing?”

“Sure, that too.”

All Levi has ever done on Animal Crossing is make a character and proceed to hit everybody with his fishing net, not to mention dig holes around your front door so you can’t get out. Still, you say nothing — the look of disbelief speaks volumes to Levi and he rolls his eyes, turning back to May as she wanders off to the side of the screen and falls off.

Okay. He’s bad at games. That he’ll admit. But you like it, and by the time he’s gotten the hang of the controls, it’s already four in the morning.

(48) Getting them a coffee just the way they like it.

Remember those habits?

“You remembered!”

If not just to see your smile, Levi likes to bring you one of the expensive bags of coffee from Erwin’s studio. You could quite easily buy the bags yourself, but there’s no thrill in ordering something and having it arrive in due time, not like there is in making Levi steal three at a time as he leaves a meeting or training session.

Levi sets the bags with a loud thud by the coffee machine and hums. 

“And you got me a drink!”

Yes. He has also become a barista and familiarised himself with the exact way you like to drink your coffee. The takeout cup he also borrowed from Erwin is placed down by your laptop as you relentlessly type away at an assignment at Levi’s kitchen table, and he presses a kiss to your temple and mutters under his breath.

“Thanks, babe,” you say, already sipping at the steamy contents.

“It’s hot,” he points out. “You’ll only cry when you singe all your taste-buds off.”

“I will not—” You slurp, then hiss, “Ow!”

“I warned you.”

(49) Buying them a special treat when you go out shopping.

You know what? No. Levi has given up on pretending like he doesn’t enjoy you being in his grill all day, every day, which is the reasoning for why he ends up in an expensive jewellery store with Erwin one day after a long haul of inspecting an upcoming raid location.

In all honesty, Levi wants to put his work to rest once the raid is all over. It will be their riskiest ploy to date, and quite frankly, Levi’s tired. He’s been killing people for years, cutting at the humanity he has left, and back in the day he would have been very comfortable with being a monster, killing until he was killed.

But now he had you. Now, Levi had someone to care about, so deeply and so passionately that it often left him feeling sick.

“That’s called love, Levi,” is what Erwin had said when Levi chose the rare option of opening up when he tried to explain why he wanted to retire early. 

“Love,” he scoffed. But then Erwin had said something profoundly wholesome, leaving Levi with a bitter taste in his mouth.

“You’re not unloveable just because you loved nothing for so long. I know it took you awhile to get back to where you are now, but just because love went wrong once before doesn’t mean it has to again. Besides, almost two years of your bullshit and that woman is still there — I don’t think you need to be worried about her pulling away from you once you tell her how you feel.”

Which roughly translated to: Buy her something nice and quash until you can’t any longer.

Once Levi gets home, he hears you giggling at something and finds you with a book over your face, your legs kicking as you squeal like a goblin. His face twists and he asks, “That book got jokes in it, or something?”

You peer around the spine and look at him. “They kissed. They. Kissed!”

“Who kissed?” Levi makes his way to the couch and takes a seat where you were just lying down. The cushions are warm — you’ve been here a while, and the thought makes him smile. 

“Evangeline and Jacks. It’s all so perfect. I didn't like most of the book, but what matters is that they kissed,” you tell him, a little too excited. You plant your feet in Levi’s lap. “I love love, Levi. It is the greatest. I love books. Men written by women!”

“Why are you giggling over other men in my own house?” 

“I giggle over you when you’re not around, too.”

He hums once from the back of his throat, watching as you mark the page with your bookmark and close the book before crawling into his lap and curling into his arms. He welcomes you instinctively, the blocky shape of the ring he bought in his pocket.

After smooching your lips for a long fifteen minutes, Levi pulls away and reaches for the box. “Got something for you.”

“Ooh, show me!”

He produces the little box and hands it to you, but when your eyes round and you hesitate in taking it, he worries.

“I’m not proposing,” he says quickly.

“Thank god. I was about to be very upset,” you sigh dramatically, finally taking the ring box. “Most unromantic proposal ever.”

“The fact you think I’d be that lousy with a proposal is actually really offensive.”

The genuine grumble in his voice puts a flutter in your stomach, though soon after, it simmers into a cool pit of shock when you flip open the box and see the most delicate, gorgeous ring that you’ve ever seen in your life, not counting ones you ogle in shopfronts.

Cautiously, you lift your head to peer at Levi’s expression. It’s not a proposal — he’s just told you so, and considering you’re not even his girlfriend in official terms yet, it seems unlikely that anything like that will be happening soon. But it has to be more than just an offhanded purchase, and you’re determined to figure out.

Levi’s eyes tremble as he looks between you and the ring. “Is it ugly?”

You immediately shake your head, “Of course not!”

“Put it on, then,” he urges. The steady beat of his heart stutters out of tempo. Suddenly, he feels quite nervous as he watches you take out the ring and study its appearance up close. “Need help?”

“Yeah, it’s so hard, I can’t figure out how to put it on. Needs instructions.”

Levi tuts and gently takes the ring from between your fingers, grabbing your ring finger whilst trying to look as casual as possible. Somehow, he manages to slide the ring on without making a fool of himself, but when he looks back at your face and sees gemstones of your own lining your waterline, he frowns.

“I’m not gonna sit here and give a speech,” he starts. By now, you know him better than that. He’s never opened up about his feelings to you, at least not without feeling regretful of it the morning after, and you nod simply, eyes catching the glint of the diamond. “But you know why I’ve bought it. I don’t need to tell you what you already know.”

And he doesn’t. Somehow, despite Levi being tremendously unromantic, having no manners, and in general being a terrible companion, you at least know that he cares. And with his upcoming job creeping up on you both, it doesn’t require an above-average intelligence to work out why this ring came when it did, what it means if things go south, what it means regardless.

“I know,” you tell him. “Thank you. It’s beautiful.”

Instead of saying anything, Levi curls you tighter in his arms and presses a kiss to your forehead, closing his eyes when you snuggle your face into his collar and relax. 

His mind has been made, his plans set. As soon as the job is over, he doesn’t want to look back. Only forward, with the woman who has made him feel alive again.

(50) Giving them a tight hug that makes them lose their breath.

Something is wrong. Something is horribly wrong, and there’s nothing you can do about it.

It has been days since Levi told you he’d touched down in New York, working out some stuff in the very famous Continental until he was set to join Erwin on whatever mission they had planned and prepared for. Levi hadn’t told you the details this time because the risks were too high, and now, it feels like a major setback. 

New York is on fire, and Levi barely kept his life getting out of the Silver Sword compound. An entire mob wiped out by two guys with no backup — it was practically unprecedented, unseen or unheard of since John Wick was knocking around. 

The Continental had done everything right in the aftermath, including keeping Levi in their small infirmary for days whilst tending to his excessive wounds. Fuck, he had been so reckless, so vengeful, so stupid. It had almost cost him his life ensuring that no leads followed him and Erwin back to Seoul, and although he had succeeded in destroying every last bit of incriminating evidence, the risks had been too great. 

When Levi finally gets discharged from the infirmary, it is almost eleven in the evening, and New York has finally calmed down and settled in for the night. Erwin greets Levi in the lobby, a frown on his face, holding a destroyed black bundle of phone parts that bear a striking resemblance to Levi’s missing device. He swears.

Levi hasn’t heard from you since he got here. Since the last risky job he took in Gwangju last year, you’ve never been lax while he’s been away; he can almost imagine your fear, your paranoia, and before he can even hear Erwin’s well wishes, Levi’s crossing the lobby for the customer payphone and dialing in your number.

The line rings twice before someone picks up.

“Baby?” Levi asks, after three attempts of saying your name and no coherent response. He cranes his head around the curly wire and glares at the clerk, though she looks less than pleased being interrupted by Levi, “Is this a global line?”

“Obviously, sir. It’s a telephone.”

“I fucking know it’s a telephone, but if it’s global, then why the hell isn’t it working?”

The girl gives him grief about his manners and Levi is forced to give up on calling you, slamming down the phone angrily and feeling his body growing hotter and hotter with worry.

He knows you're fine, in his house with the big cat you hate to love, but he knows you. He knows how you operate, how you worry, how you love him too much.

“Look, we’ll catch the first flight we can,” Erwin assures him as soon as Levi has caught his breath and taken a seat on one of the black leather sofas. His hands are shaking violently. “She’s fine. I promise.”

“I know she’s fine,” Levi grumbles.

“Then get a hold of yourself,” sighs Erwin, his frown low and face tired. “There’s nothing you can do but wait. I’ve got people waiting on me, as well, you know.”

“It’s not the same thing.”

“Dogs miss their owners just as much as girlfriends miss their boyfriends,” Erwin protests, because that’s all he has back home these days.

There had been a time where you had offered to set him up with your friend, Sasha, who deserved to be with a man who could handle her energy but also make her feel safe after her last terrible relationship, but Erwin is basically married to his work, and had got a dog despite Sasha being deathly allergic.

Still, Levi’s not heartless enough to know that Erwin isn’t missed by his dog, and probably other people in his life. And he’s right, there’s nothing he can do about the connection problems. All he can do is reign in his worries and wait.

The earliest flight they can find is the next morning, and Levi spends every second up to that point and up until he pulls up outside of his house in a complete state of panic. Would you be there? Did you leave, thinking he’d never come back? 

Levi abandons his bag and leaves it in the backseat as he sprints from the car up the stairs, past his front door, and into his house. He kicks off his shoes once he’s in, the door hitting the wall with a booming slam.

He hears what he thinks might be scuffles, potentially even Elio’s claws, and right as Levi calls out your name, he sees you round the corner with a blotchy red face and feels his arms stretching out for you.

“What the fuck is wrong with you!” You slam into his chest, almost taking him to the floor, and encircle your arms around his neck so hard that the breath knocks out of his lungs. Still, he isn’t even annoyed; he squeezes you so tightly, tighter than he’s ever hugged anyone before, and shoves his face into your neck, inhaling the smell, feeling the way your body felt in memories while he was away. 

“I’m sorry,” he says in a whisper, his features tugged in displeasure as you whimper into him, no doubt crying over his shirt. “I’m sorry, baby.”

“I thought you were dead!” you blurt, “I even cried on Elio’s back because I thought you had died! What’s the point in having a phone if you never pick it up or charge it?” You snatch yourself from his arms and gently beat against his chest with your fist. “I’m so pissed off at you!”

“I’m sorry that my phone got crushed,” he says, affronted that you would even think he’d ignore your calls on purpose. “I was in a hospital bed for three days! And then the bitchy receptionist got smart with me about their shitty phone, and I called but the line cut out. Sounded like a goddamn robot, I couldn’t hear a word you were saying.”

Your jaw drops, “That was you? I thought you’d died and some enemy gang guy was trying to call me to kill me!” Levi has to laugh at the look of worry on your face. He hasn’t been cared for in this way in a long time. Never been loved to this volume. “I unplugged the landline, I was so scared! Jesus Christ, Levi!” Then, like you never left, you rush back into his arms and let out a shaky cry. 

“You did the right thing,” he tells you. Unplugging the landline was the silliest thing he could have ever thought of, but then he realises that you’re still here, and that you made peace with Elio just because you thought he had died.

Levi strokes the back of your head and shushes you, feeling your heartbeat hammering furiously against his chest. His is most likely the same, though he’s not so eager to acknowledge his own feelings.

After a while of standing there, and after Levi’s stroked behind Elio’s ears when he prowls towards them and rubs his head on Levi’s trousers, Levi looks back at you softly and takes everything in.

He has missed you more than anything, grieved the missing piece of his soul that is shaped like you. And, while he’s at it, yes! Fucking hell! He loves you!

“I’m so glad you’re okay,” you tell him, and Levi kisses you, his hands cradling your face. The kiss is firm, desperate, though he has no intention of walking you backwards towards the bedroom like he normally does after a job.

Instead, he pulls you in for a hug again. 

“I missed you,” he mutters. “So fucking much.”

“Me too.”

He says with his mouth pressed into your head, “I’m done with this shit. I’m not taking any more jobs.”

You twist out of his arms, eyebrows raised. “Really? Why? You love your job.”

“I hate my job,” Levi confesses. “I have too much to lose. I just wanna live my life. And make it all count for something.”

For a moment, you stand there, looking at his face so intently that he almost feels uncomfortable. But then, as a smile spreads over your face, Levi feels like he can finally breathe again, finally feel like himself.

“Alright. If that’s what you want, babe, then let’s do that.”

And we can do it together.

(51) Getting adjusted.

Levi forgot what it was like to be normal.

He now wakes up at whatever time he wants to, feeling next to him for the lump in the bed where you sleep. Once he knows you’re still there (because despite being retired, he doesn’t think the habit of making sure you’re safe will ever go away), Levi wakes up and starts his day. 

Coffee for one becomes coffee for two. Levi never has to eat breakfast on his own, never sits alone on the sofa or sits in silence at the kitchen table. Levi has lost half of his sink counter space to your belongings, lost half of his wardrobe to your own clothes. There are so many shoes by his front door that it looks like a storefront. 

Elio has a mother, in a strange, estranged, visitation-hours-only kind of way. Levi has made room for you in his life and you fit perfectly, so perfectly that he barely remembers what it ever felt like to live alone.

The shower is always filled with two people. Levi finds your things all over the house in the most bizarre places. He has candles on every coffee table, pictures in frames, finds your cardigans hanging over every chair. But he loves it. He loves it so much. He can’t imagine ever not having it, having you, having this life.

(52) Finally saying the words.

“This is my first time using this thing.”

“What?” you gasp as Levi comes to sit next to you on the balcony.

Elio yawns inside, sleeping on the couch. It is partly his fault that Levi’s out here in the first place, though the thought of being tucked beside you on the outdoor couch in a blanket, watching the sun sink behind the skyline, is thankfully rather appealing, and he voices no complaints.

Levi takes a swig of his whiskey and abandons the cup on the table, throwing an arm around your shoulder and pulling you close. It’s not exactly cold tonight, but he knows you too well, and knows that within an hour, you’ll be dithering next to him.

“Imagine having a balcony and never using it.”

“I’m using it now,” Levi huffs, pinching your neck. You squeal, “Fuck off, it didn’t hurt.”

You’ve been officially living in Levi’s home for two months now, although sometimes it feels like you’ve always been here. Still, despite you making yourself very much at home on the inside, neither of you have once come out to sit on the balcony, to bask in the lovely sun as it settles for the night, not until today. 

“When’s Erwin coming?”

“Bout an hour or so,” Levi says in a low drawl, his head tilted back and hand massaging the side of your head. It had been your idea to invite a bunch of people over to your house — the house you now shared — and frightfully, Levi hadn’t opposed. It would be nice to share the wealth of simply being alive with people he now had the patience to care about. 

You shuffle to look at him, and Levi picks up his head at the sound of you moving. Like always, Levi thinks you look beautiful, but since he’s made you his girlfriend, it has felt like every time he looks at you, he can’t breathe properly.

“I’m excited. This is our first time hosting a party together,” you grin, while Levi thumbs your ear and smiles. “Do you think Elio will eat Erwin’s dog?”

“No. Elio’s moved back onto a pescatarian diet, so I think Erwin’s mutt will be safe.”

“Good. I bought him a bone, do you think he’ll like it?”

“He’s a dog. Yes, I expect, why are you asking me this?” Levi asks, eyebrows scrunched, though he pulls you close to where his mouth is and kisses you straight on the lips. “Stop stressing.”

“I can’t help it. I’m nervous! It’s all so serious! What if nobody likes our house?”

He shrugs. “I don’t give a shit who does or doesn’t like our house. It’s ours.”

“Hnnngh. And I want you to have a good time!” you whine. “You deserve a bit of fun in your life.”

“My life is always fun now that you’re my girlfriend.”

He’s instantly won himself brownie points by saying that.

“Just tell me if it gets too much,” you mutter, lips on his, mouths together. “Okay?”

Levi hums. “Yeah.” Then, after he’s kissed you three more times and felt his heart shake, he nudges his nose against yours and says, “I love you, y’know that, right?”

You pause, eyes rounding wide as you take in the sight of him. Levi has never said those words before, not explicitly. But now is as good a time as any, right?

Levi has spent far too much of his life withdrawing from his emotions, hiding away from what matters most out of a fear of caring too much. In the past, he had cared too much and lost it all. You were never supposed to be something he cared about, but when it had happened, it happened so fast he hadn’t had the time to make sense of it all.

But now, now that he’s been through it all with you, ticked every box imaginable, become comfortable being vulnerable again, Levi thinks he’s finally ready to accept the love he deserves and dole it out to those who mean the most to him.

Your mouth moves against his, though he can’t understand the words coming out. He laughs, confused, and somehow manages to pull away and ask, “What’re you even saying?”

All for you to blubber out in a laugh, “I’ve been waiting for ages for you to say that!”

His heart bursts, chest soars. “You could have said it first.”

“I’ve said it before,” you protest, “in actions.”

He scoffs, “So have I.”

And he has, you really can’t deny it.

“Say it again, won’t you?” you ask sweetly, kissing the corner of his mouth, and Levi sighs, like asking that of him is simply too much.

“I love you. You make me very happy.” Levi groans when you cackle and squish the breath out of him with a hug, but this time, he sniggers too. Why waste the moment on pretending to be indifferent when he’s actually the happiest he’s ever been?

Levi Ackerman can finally say that he feels good. He feels safe, he feels content, he feels comfortable — and most of all, he feels loved. And in love. And totally at peace in the world with the person who makes him the happiest.