#i might make another story specifically for them AGAIN before i post the fic I've been working on for over half a year now

[slurpyboii]

Some doodles I didn't feel like making individual posts for

[lurkinglurkerwholurks]

If the Sky Comes Falling Down (For You)

First posted: January 25, 2019

Focuses on: Jason Todd and his various siblings

Favorite bookmark: "A variety of permutations and flavors of Robin h/c featuring Jason! The Baskin Robins of BatFam h/c, if you will."

Second favorite bookmark: "and so, step by step, the prodigal stray coaxes himself home."

Tier: #3 in hits & kudos & subscriptions, #4 in comment threads, #2 in bookmarks

This is my “behind the scenes” series where I indulge myself horribly by annotating my fics. Link to the fic itself above. Individual chapter notations below the cuts.

Chapter One

First, to note, the title came last and is from "Hey Brother" by Avicii because it was already on my BatFam playlist and gave me strong sibling feels, so it worked!

Okay if I remember correctly, this fic came about because 1) I had jotted down story ideas, all surrounding Jason, that were all just a bit too similar for me to feel comfortable doing them as one-offs, and 2) it was late 2018 when I start writing so I was deep in 5+1 IronDad fics.

This fic was so deeply indulgent from start to finish, which I think might be why people liked it so much? Like, if you're into the tropes into this fic, you're really into them. It scratches the itch just right, because it's my itch and I wrote it for me.

The plan was to do like I did for my other multi-chapter fics (except Nature and Nurture, RIP me) and write it all out before posting anything, so I could be sure that I would actually finish. I don't have that kind of self-restraint anymore. But it was a fun challenge to figure out what should happen to whom and in what order.

Jason didn’t sleep much anymore. He’d always been a rough sleeper, his years spent in low-security public housing and then on the street grinding away at his ability to rest with ease. He slept lightly, his consciousness skimming just below the surface, ready to spring awake at the softest noise.

As I've said before, sometimes I have an idea for a fic but then, when trying to start it, a sentence pops up immediately as my opener. That's always a wild ride because sometimes it seems to have nothing at all to do with where I want to go, so then I have to backtrack and figure out but why tho????

Moving to the Manor had helped some, after he’d assured himself that no one was going to scratch at his door or steal his shoes. The cold mornings had been the best, spent curled under a mound of the softest blankets imaginable atop a mattress so perfectly contoured to his bones that it’d felt like floating on the surface of a pool. He’d slept, truly slept, at the Manor.

I like the idea of, even at Jason's most toxic and vitriolic, the Manor itself still representing safety and comfort. Maybe sometimes he would twist it into stifling or grossly indulgent, but I think deep in his stomach he would know that distortion was a lie. The Manor was safer than anywhere else, even with his mom.

Those days of rest were long gone. The Pit had done a number on his brain—intensifying and altering his emotions, erasing some old habits and dialing up others, leaving dark chasms where memories should be.

I've seen other fics play with the idea of the trauma of Jason's injuries, death, resurrection, and the Pit all combining to some degree or another to swiss-cheese his brain (a phrase I lovingly borrow from Quantum Leap.) And that of course leaves a bunch of really fun room to play with—how much does Jason know he's missing vs. how much is gone or totally distorted without him even being aware? (Again, another thing I tease out in various fics like N&N.)

It was like someone had jammed a stick in his skull and given his brain a good stir. Or maybe that was just the crowbar. Ha.

I made myself snicker with that one. It's so voiceily Jason but also that ha is so guttural and specific in my head, you all will never know.

He was making progress with his budding criminal empire—splashy progress, as displayed on the crusting cuffs of his sleeves and the splattered toes of his boots, but also more subtle progress, too. The subtle form was harder, so much harder, but he knew its changes would be more permanent, in the long run. Splashy got people talking. Subtle got them bowing.

Jason! Todd! Is! No! Thug! He is smart and cunning and uses violence to make an impact and that's that on that.

And though he’d heard her speak before in the careful neutral of the middle-class, the sounds being beat out of her now were Crime Alley crooked.

I like the idea of Steph and Jason growing up in the same neighborhood. It's not a hill I'd die on, but it makes for some interesting fic.

The girl put up a good fight. She was rough, no finesse, no real training. All knuckles and elbows and feet and knees. He spotted some of the Bat basics pop up in the way she ducked and spun, but she wasn’t lithe like Nightwing or crafty like the Replacement. She was a brawler. And she was losing.

She is who he might have been, without Bruce and Alfred and Dick. A decent fighter, stubborn, willing to brawl it out, but ultimately destined to lose.

It sucked in an abstract way, the way it sucked that someone was going hungry halfway around the world, the way it sucked when a stranger missed his bus. It sucked, but it wasn’t Jason’s problem, and he couldn’t really bring himself to care. B needed to learn to pick up his toys.

Starting with Steph made the most sense to me. She wasn't (and isn't) a member I know super well, with so much of her canon backstory being things I have no interest in, and she's part of the Family but in that awkward "we're maybe siblings but also I have a mom and also I dated one of you too??" ways, so she's got a little bit of distance, for me as a writer and also Jason. She doesn't have the emotional heat of the others. He doesn't hate her, just what she represents. He also doesn't care what happens to her, except—

The knife glinted in the amber streetlight and cast a shadow across the yellow emblem on her chest.

She's not Batman. She's not a Robin. She's Batgirl. And that's a different thing entirely.

Jason knew what they saw when they looked at him. He was big now, broad-shouldered and massive in a way he had only ever dreamed of being as a scrawny, malnourished street kid. His helmet was blood-red and gleaming, its angles sculpted to subtly suggest a skull. And his clothes were still stained with actual blood. He was an Alley myth, a nightmare with more bite than the Bat, because he wasn’t afraid to do real damage. He was death.

Jason Peter Todd is scary smart, and he knows how to make the exact impact he wants.

“I don’t know you, but I know your colors. You’re Ibanescu’s boys.”

I had to google Gotham crime families. I know literally nothing other than the name.

It was one thing to let her get the snot beat out of her. And even if someone else had taken a shot at her, he wouldn’t have minded. But he couldn’t. Not in that suit.

:3

“It’s not about you,” Jason repeated, his voice gravelly and rough. He pointed toward the yellow symbol on her chest, the symbol that, in the world he’d left, the world he remembered, belonged to someone else. “I owe her a debt. And now it’s paid.” Jason was a murderer. A thief. A criminal. A drug lord. He had no illusions as to his own goodness anymore, no hope for redemption or grace. But he had his values, the few precious things that he would not allow. One of those, it seemed, was watch a man restrain and stab a Batgirl while he did nothing.

Someday I'll write more about that. The partner and friend and maybe mentor who was still reeling from trauma and hadn't yet found her way when Jason was snuffed out of existence.

Jason was tired, but the night was just beginning.

So that's where it starts. Jason tired, literally caked with dried blood, stepping in not because of love or hate or curiosity or concern but because he felt he owed a debt to someone else and that debt instead landed on the person in front of him.

[ccrites]

Signal Lost

I've had something happen to me that's so incredible and that I could have never hoped, something so touching and so unbelievable that it made me rethink a whole lot of stuff: a wonderful reader on Ao3 started reading my long-form fic (101k words!!!) and commented basically every chapter after a certain point. And wow, I would have never thought something like this might happen.

And yeah, it is my first fic with plot in it, yeah I will never believe it to be perfect, but it's good enough. And receiving all those emails from Ao3 really was the highlight of my days over the course of which I saw said reader slowly go through all my favorite parts!

And so I wish to give it some spotlight here, while I'm finishing up my school year and work and whatever! I will post this here for now, but I will drop chapters every few days and make a Masterlist for it this weekend. (nvm I don't have the energy to do this any time soon lmao) I have too many loose ideas in my head so this is just to pass the time till the brain worms wiggle all in the same direction

So without further ado:

Link to AO3 here : Signal Lost - a John Price x reader fic

----- here's a blurb to pique your interest!

“I don’t think I’ve ever received a document as classified as this one. What am I supposed to do with it, Kate?” he says, dragging his thumb across the pile of papers, each file filled with more ink than the last.

“You asked for proof, there’s your proof,” Laswell says.

“You said you’ll bring someone competent, and who can help us, this doesn’t tell me shit.” He stares blankly at the screen, tired. She stares back.

“The Captain specifically asked to keep this under wraps.”

He rubs at his face, scratching at his beard. It’s getting long again.

“Who is he, anyway?”

“I can’t tell you that.”

He groans again, picking up the file on top. No photo, no name, no age, no height, weight, no nothing . And he thought Simon was secretive.

“What can you tell me?”

“It’s the closest we’ve ever gotten to him. Did things a particular way.”

He shifts through the papers. “And the discharge?”

“Left after the entire team got wiped out. Messy stuff.”

“That why he doesn’t show his face?” He bends forward, grabbing the cigar from the ashtray and bringing it to his lips.

“John.” Her voice carries a heavy warning.

“Just sayin’,” he says, biting around the cigar with one side of the mouth. “What kinda captain doesn’t go down with his men?”

“Got enough guilt as is. You’re lucky I convinced them.”

They both remain silent. They know the missions would be a slippery slope. One wrong move and a war is started. He puffs a cloud of smoke.

“Anything else?” John asks.

Kate looks to the side, her face illuminated by another screen. He can see her hesitate, her lips are pursed in a thin line as if she’s debating her options.

“You’ve worked together before.”

His face lights up. “Finally! Who?”

Her face immediately hardens back up. “Can’t tell, John, my hands are tied.” She sighs. “You were still a Lieutenant.”

Years ago then. He mentally catalogs everyone he’s ever worked with, but he knows that at that age, he was throwing himself at every available mission, wanting to make a name for himself. “So an old fart then? How’s that gonna help us?” If the guy was a Captain when he was still a Lieutenant, and he felt himself grow old, he can’t imagine who Laswell is bringing back from the dead.

Laswell’s face distorts, he knows he’s pushing her buttons, but he has to know.

“Not older than you John.”

His eyebrows raise. “Oh?”

---

or

returning to the military to hunt Makarov is hard enough, to do it with your past lover is even harder. a "friends to lovers to enemies to friends and back to lovers" story

---

Tags and other CW: will be posted for each chapter containing warnings for more hardcore stuff (i.e., torture and angst namely), but this is a fanfic, with smut, so if you want all the tags feel free to check the ao3 link bc there are a LOT and I am lazy to retype them all here

[dreamescapeswriting]

Requests Are Officially Open!

Hi there lovelies!! Excited to announce that I've now opened requests again! These will begin to be posted at the start of July! Maybe earlier if I can manage so it gives me a month to get to work for you!

Before you send in your requests, please make sure to read the guidelines (Below the cut I'll add a basic guidelines since I know they're a lot to read). It’s important to follow these to ensure that your request can be fulfilled smoothly and efficiently. The guidelines include details on what I am willing to write, the types of stories I’m comfortable with, and any other important information you need to know.

Read the Guidelines: (Either the long post above or the shorter one below) Seriously pleaseeee! It will save us both a lot of time and help me create the best possible story for you! I want to give you the story you want!

Be Specific: Include as much detail or as little as you want in your request. However, be mindful that the more information you provide, the better I can tailor the story to your vision.

Be Patient: Depending on the number of requests, it might take some time for me to get to yours. I appreciate your understanding!

It is first come first served! <3

I can’t wait to see what amazing ideas you all have. Let’s create some fantastic stories together!

Happy reading and requesting!!! ~ M

WHAT AM I WILLING TO WRITE: 

Fluff

Smut (18+ only Please make sure you’re not on anon so I can confirm you’re over 18. I don’t feel comfortable writing for anyone under the age of 18)

Angst (Make it hurt people I miss writing angst that hurt)

Head canons (But they will be in bullet points)

Romantic

Platonic 

Comfort 

Yandere 

Mafia (GIMMIE GIMMIE GIMIIE)

Small Town

All the tropes you can think of honestly 

Dark (within reason and within guidelines of what i WONT write)

Poly/Harem (I’ll try hehe)

Cheating (hence angst ;) )

Pregnancy Tropes

Pretty much anything if it’s not in the below section. 

What I WONT write: 

I DO NOT take requests to the reader being in an actively abusive situation with a band member. Domestic abuse, assault, or anything of the sort is an Automatic NO.

No 8/9th member pieces. I beg. 

I don’t write POC reader as I’m not POC AND I try and keep my writing open for everybody (Hence no description details about a reader, no “running his fingers through your hair” and no “You blushed a deep shade of crimson red” because I want everyone to feel included. 

Incest 

Pedophilia 

I won’t write about scat or anything to do with body fluids 

 will not write about explicit abuse

In the past I have written about referencing it (example: He punches your bad ex or you have a rough family, or even another character hitting reader) but I will not write about the boys abusing the reader, I will not write about the reader hitting the boys. If it is within smut (spanking, grabbing/slapping the face it is all consensual and not seen as abuse)

I can’t and won’t write about miscarriages,, or abortions on this account. I’ve explained this many of times that I can’t do it yet I still get countless requests about it. That being said I can write about complications in pregnancies, bleeding during pregnancies but the baby is fine! 

Requests can be anywhere between 900-17K words but please don’t demand that i write a long fic for you, if it comes out long it does, if it doesn’t it doesn’t, I’m sorry <3

Please remember that I do this as a hobby - I aim to prioritise requests in the order they were received and work on them when I have time. If I feel that someone is being too impatient and unkindly following up on their request, I won’t write for them. 

I have every right to reject any request I get. I might reject a request if 1) It doesn’t follow the rules or Guidelines I’ve explicitly set out. 2) The request makes me uncomfortable and 3) I have no motivation to write it or I don’t get a spark of inspiration from it. 

[mixelation]

FAQs

Housekeeping post! Last updated 29 June 2024.

General:

Who is Tori?

My OC! Check out her masterpost.

Do you have a tags masterpost?

I'm working on it. :)

How do I refer to you?

I've been telling people to call me Mixel, but some people call me Mix. I use she/they.

Can you tag something for me?

I am not good at remembering to tag things. In general, if you following a blog requires certain things to be tagged, I wouldn't recommend following this blog.

You didn't answer my ask!

I don't answer even close to every ask I get. It's nothing personal! Sometimes I don't have time or energy, sometimes I just don't have opinions on the thing, and sometimes I mean to answer later and then forget and then it gets buried. Sometimes this happens even if I've specifically asked for people to send me stuff via an ask meme. Sometimes I don't answer even when I really want to for various reasons.

Do you want a recommendation?

Please don't send me recommendations unless I have specifically asked for them.

Can I DM you?

I don't like getting DMs from people I don't know. Please don't DM me unless we've talked before (via comments, asks, etc -- anon does NOT count). If you have a question you don't want answered publicly, you can send me an ask and request it be answered privately.

Also: please do not send me posts with zero context. I cannot read your mind and I don't like not knowing what you expect me to do with the post (reblog it, talk to you about, etc). Yes, even if you think the context is obvious. You do not need many words to contextualize a post.

Do you have a DNI?

No, but relevant to being a fandom blog: I am a bonafide adult, and my view on shipping and other fandom activities is basically "I have no right to judge what fictional scenarios other people enjoy or want to explore." If either of those things make you uncomfortable, go ahead and block me.

Can I repost your content to another website? I'll credit you!

For fics, absolutely not. Do not repost any of my creative story writing, fanfic or original fic.

For generic tumblr posts, I am wary of giving permission to repost any sort of content on another site. I can’t stop you reposting screen caps of my posts, and I’m not going to hunt them down or (publicly) complain about screen caps of my post on other sites. But if you come to me actually asking for permission.... the answer is no.

Fandom and fics:

I came here to find the Plasticity AUs and what I found confuses and frightens me.

Not to worry! I made a masterpost.

Why did you change your user name?

Here's a post about it. Most relevant notes form that post: 1. Don't refer to me by my old user name, even on other sites. 2. If you find an old tumblr link that's broken, you can replace my old user name with "mixelation" and it will work again!

Can I do ______ with your fic?

I have a permissions statement on my AO3 profile. I try to keep this up-to-date as my feelings on how my work is used evolves.

Can I tag you/send you a post that reminds me of your fics?

Yes, but please explain that's what you're doing. Please don't send me context-less posts. I cannot read your mind through the internet.

I might retract permission for this if I start getting a ton, just for my own sanity. But so far it's been fine.

How do I send you fan art?

Most people have been sending them by asks, but you can also post them to your own blog and @ me, or else comment on the fic itself or send me a link via tumblr asks. Give me a few days to interact before following up.

When are you going to update _____? Is _____ abandoned?

I have a busy life and what fic I work on in my free time is controlled by the whims of my brain. There's no schedule and I am unlikely to be able to give you an estimate. I will tag a fic as abandoned on AO3 if I decide there's no way it will ever get updated. For some fics for which I get this a lot:

Homemade Dynamite - I actually have about 95% of chapter 13 written. Chapter 12, however, is only like half written and I have a pretty big block on it. :(

Fun and Games - I do hope to continue this one, and I have a decent chunk of the next chapter written, plus notes + an outline for the rest of the fic. Unfortunately, to keep writing it, I have to do a decent amount of research on HP canon, and certain recent events have really soured by motivation to interact with that canon.

I found a fic I think you would like!

Please see my answer about recommendations. Don't send them unless I've asked, no matter how good you think it is.

[avalentina]

My newest fic, this one will most likely end up being published as a series. For now it is in my Harry Styles page on my Masterlist. I'm not sure how long it will be, and I'm still working on the story itself so it might be a bit before I post more, but the poll showed that about 2/3 of you wanted it now. So without further ado ...

Word count: 4,074

Warnings: bits of anxiety, depression, feeling overwhelmed; Robin Twist's death, grief; unnamed douchebags who want you for your money and title

Noble!Harry (Peerage!Harry) x Princess!Y/N

Note: This story features certain words in multiple languages mainly traditional Chinese, but I have put the English word or phrase in parentheses directly after the translated word or phrase.

Ex: Mǔqīn (Mother)

The Princess's Lover

Zero: Enchanted Love

(any and all pictures are not mine, all I do is collage them, pictures of Harry are a reference for his appearance during the specific moment, all other pictures are only for the purpose of an outfit/hairstyle/accessory, Y/N can look however you would like her to)

I remember the day as though it was just yesterday. Hard to believe it was closer to five years ago now.

(FLASHBACK)

I was at yet another ball, sometimes it feels like my parents, the King and Queen of MiraZhou, host one every week. I'm 19 year old Princess Y/N, the only girl to graduate from my private high school without ever being kissed. I've had a few offers for courtship, none of which I've accepted, all of them just a family's desperate attempt to increase their wealth, status, and favor in the eyes of my parents. I'm being the perfect princess, as I usually tend to be. I've never found anything I wanted to rebel for, I mean I’ve always wondered what it would be like to have more choice in my life, but I guess you could say I'm terrified to actually find out what that would really entail.

This ball tonight was a masquerade, not that it actually made a difference in my case, seeing as I’m stuck wearing a tiara. The one I'm wearing may be my second favorite tiara, and my favorite formal tiara, but it does a wonderful job at making it known exactly who I am. For that reason, I've actually been trying to avoid talking to anyone at tonight’s ball.

It’s not until I’m summoned to my parents’ side for the formal ‘thank you for hosting’ part of the night that my care for this particular event heightens. My family knows everyone in our court based on their voices alone. As a family of four gets to the front of the line. I recognize the voices as Duke Desmond, Duchess Anne, and Lady Gemma of Duchy Holmeshire, but it’s their son that I can’t say I’m familiar with. As they make their approach, I catch eyes with him, the soft green of them is mesmerizing, I feel as though I could get lost in them and just be happy.

“And I see Lord Harry has returned from University, Cambridge in England correct?” My father asks Lord Harry directly.

“Yes, your majesty, uh sir.” Lord Harry replies, fumbling his words slightly probably to do with being away for so long, but he has an english accent that he must’ve developed during his time abroad, and it definitely suits him well.

“It’s good to have you back in MiraZhou Lord Harry.” My mother says, offering him a gracious smile. “I don’t believe you’ve formally met Princess Y/N?” she adds.

“I have not, It’s a pleasure to formally meet you, your highness.” Harry says to me as we make eye contact again and he does another short bow.

I can’t help the wide smile that appears on my face as I return the introduction. “Likewise Lord Harry,” I say and offer him my hand to kiss. A gesture I don’t give out lightly, and you can tell that by the tiny gasp that slips out of my mother’s mouth before she stifles it, and the way Duchess Anne’s smile grows a tad bit wider.

As the Styles family of Holmeshire takes their leave so the next group of nobles can greet us, Harry and I caught eyes one more time and I mouthed silently ‘bye’ with yet another wide smile.

After the “thank you’s” were over, my mother and father turned to each other. I heard my mother tell my father, “I’ll invite them to the palace for dinner one day next week.” I smiled to myself and excused myself for a brief restroom break, that I spent staring at where Harry had kissed my hand, remembering the softness of his lips, and how I really hope he didn’t have any other potential matches. Harry and I didn’t get another chance to talk that night, but we always seemed to be catching each other’s eyes, even from across the large ballroom.

“Y/N, darling, the Duke and Duchess of Holmeshire will be joining us for dinner tomorrow night.” My mother said at breakfast that following Tuesday morning. My attention perked up at that.

“Are Lady Gemma and Lord Harry joining them?” I asked, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible.

“Not this time, but they both will be joining their parents here for dinner on Thursday night.” She said with a smile that I returned. “I don’t want you to get your hopes up about a courtship dear. Tomorrow night will allow your father and I to find out about Lord Harry’s current status, and any potential matches he may already have.”

“I know Mǔqīn (Mother), thank you, and I apologize for my obvious reaction, I’ll work on those some more.” I say, apologizing.

“Xiǎo jiāhuo (little one), we're happy you're actually excited about a possible courtship. I saw the way you lit up that night, it reminded me of how happy the first few conversations I had with your mother made me. Which is why you, Lizabeth, and Helena will be having dinner in the slumber party suite you used to enjoy. That way we can shield you from whatever potential hurt there may possibly be.” Father adds to mother's comment.

“And darling, your expressions are wonderful, a princess should not be void of emotion, nor always show indifference, your emotion shows your honesty in that feeling and that is what makes you an amazing princess. Your manners and etiquette are exactly where they should be. True feeling is just as important as manners and etiquette. Now run along, you have classes to get to.” Mother finishes out our conversation. I love attending University, it's the only time I'm allowed to wear jogger pants and hoodies in public. With no makeup or tiara or heeled shoes. I am intentionally supposed to look unimportant, because it does help me blend in a little bit more and instead of eight guards I only have three, all dressed down to appear as students as well.

My midnight violet Lamborghini centenario topless with ‘gongzhu (princess)’ as the license plate is the closest resemblance to royalty I get. After my classes for the day are done, Creyton, who is my lead guard, and I head to my favorite nearby pizza truck for a slice each before we return to the palace. Our usual nearby chess table is taken today and when I look again, it's none other than Lord Harry and a friend of his playing while enjoying a slice as well.

I elect to take the table next to them which happens to be open. As Creyton and I begin our setup and start talking, Harry turns to me, having probably recognized my voice.

“Your highness, what brings you out into the city today?” He asks quietly, careful to avoid drawing attention to me. He turns to Creyton and offers a handshake.

“I attend university in the city, so classes, but my lead guard, Creyton here, and I usually stop for a slice or two and a few plays on a chessboard before heading back.” I say with a small smile.

“We really should be going Y/N.” Creyton comments, now that I've been ‘recognized’ we have to head straight back or risk breaking protocol, and I like having Creyton around too much to let him get fired for something as simple as a protocol violation.

“I'll see you at dinner on Thursday night H.” I say to him, not wanting to compromise his lunch either. With that I head back to my car. Creyton follows me closely and we met up with the other two members of my security team. They share a very brief ten to fifteen second report before we get into the cars and head back to the palace.

“Princess, you know you're not supposed to talk to anyone besides me during that time, and you're definitely not allowed to advertise my name and who I am.” Creyton says to me during the quiet drive back to the palace.

“I know, I'm sorry Creyton, I wasn't expecting Lord Harry to be there, let alone at our usual table. It won't happen again, and I fully understand any repercussions that arise.

Lizabeth and Helena were not the best of distraction that night. Especially considering all they talked about was Lord Harry's return from England, and how attractive he is.

“Ladies, please, his parents are downstairs having dinner with my parents.” I say aloud and both girls turn to me.

“He's here? Lord Harry is here? Y/N please you have to introduce us.” Lizabeth practically begs.

“He, is not here, just his parents, and I will consider introducing you after they find out if he's available for a match. And if he is, I've pretty much already got dibs, I hope. Did you two miss the candids of him kissing my hand and the wide, stupid smile on my face.”

“Oh my God, Y/N has a crush! It's about time.” Lizabeth squeals.

“And on that note, we promise to back off, but if he has any extremely attractive friends please promise to introduce us.” Helena states and I smile.

“I know he has at least one semi-attractive friend. But he definitely wasn't from here. His accent sounded way too Irish.” I said and they both just looked at me. “I’ll look into it, I promise, just not right now.” They both grumbled a bit, but agreed.

It was late Thursday morning when my mother and father both entered the study I use for my schoolwork. I have three different 20 page essays due next week so I decided to have one of the kitchen staff bring breakfast to my study. I just finished finalizing and submitting one, and was polishing the second when they knocked. I closed my laptop so I wouldn’t be distracted by my essay while they told me whatever it is they have to say.

“Look at you, working hard on your economics degree.” Father said, smiling proudly.

“But that’s not why we’re here Damien.” Mother interrupts before he can continue on that line of topic further. “We’re here because we thought you might want to know more about Lord Harry Styles before dinner tonight.” She continued.

“He is not currently courting anyone, and Duchess Anne mentioned that he asked her to help him get up to speed on where you’re at and what has been keeping you occupied lately.” Father said and I legit squealed. It felt like hundreds of thousands of butterflies were dancing in my stomach. “We figured that would be your reaction and wanted to make sure you had ample time to put your finest princess foot forward for dinner tonight. We’ve arranged a walk through the rose garden for the two of you before dinner starts. Lord Harry will be here at four, and dinner is at six.” He finished saying.

“So in girl terms, you might want to start getting ready now.” Mother added with a smile and I quickly excused myself and hugged them both before taking off towards my rooms at nearly a full sprint.

“Mel, Marie, Helga!” I hollered into the staff door from my entry room. Mel and Marie are my new ladies maids and Helga is assisting them in learning everything before she officially retires next month. The girls tie half of my hair up into a braid and a bun, and then curl the remaining pieces, I have a simple gold and diamond tiara, gold gladiator flats, and a one shoulder golden gown. I ended up on the gold because i knew it would reflect in the sun during our walk, and it’s also a color I’ve always loved wearing. Plus it’s proven to be a confidence booster, and I have a feeling i’m going to be in need of a lot of that tonight. Other than my title, I have no idea what I have going for me in regards to why I’d make a good match. Though I’d rather he like Y/N, rather than just Princess Y/N. I needed to be radiant tonight, for myself, although, who wouldn’t want to look golden?

At exactly 3:56 pm I make my way towards the main palace entrance, it’s a solid five minute walk from my rooms, and it usually takes guests anywhere between fifty and seventy-five seconds to go from the drive, up the stairs, and finally step inside the doors. Which means that if I timed this correctly he should be just stepping inside the doors as I step off the last step to get to the entry foyer.

I maintain my normal pace and arrive to the front entry in exactly five minutes. However when I get there, Harry is already waiting for me in a mostly black suit, a bit of gold on the shirt, and a black suede hat.

“My apologies Lord Harry, it took a bit longer to get ready than I had anticipated.” I said to him as soon as I had made my approach.

“Well, it was well worth the minute long wait, you look radiant your highness.” He says back with a bow. “Shall we?” He suggests and holds his arm out for me to take.

“You’ll have 12 feet of privacy.” My mother informs us as I take his arm and we depart. I wave a small goodbye to my mother and father before turning all of my focus onto my walk with Harry.

“You’re going to have to guide me, I’m afraid I have absolutely no idea where we’re supposed to be going.” He says with a small chuckle.

“I suppose, though getting lost does sometimes lead to finding something unique, fascinating, and totally unexpected. A left at the spiral hedge just up ahead.” I say.

“That’s true, it’s an adventure, that much is for sure.” He replies with a smile.

We walk in silence for a minute or so as we enter the rose garden. He pauses just before the first fountain.

“Why me?” He asks a few seconds after we stopped. He’s staring into my eyes and I can’t help but stare back. “My mum told me that you have a habit of turning down courtships, and being very selective about who you let kiss your hand, so why let me? I mean you could have your choice of princes from distant lands, lords with so much more wealth, and fame than myself, the male heirs of duchies that make mine look infintesimal.”

“I hope this isn’t awkward of me to say but to be honest, the first time we caught each other’s eyes, I felt like I could be lost in the soft green of them for eons and be happy for each second of that time. That’s not a feeling i’ve ever had before.” I say, he smiles and the way it lights up his entire being is pure magic. I can’t help but smile too. “It’s actually why I wore gold today, I knew I would struggle to say what I wanted to…”

“And you needed the confidence boost?” He finished my exact thought. I nodded and he smiled again. “Me too, I knew I would need it to even manage to say a word to you.” He continued as we started walking again. “I can't help but feel leagues below you.”

The conversation flowed so easily from there, it was one of the easiest conversations I've ever had. We talked about university, our degrees, our families, our childhoods, my dogs, our favorite books, movies, shows, anything and everything. As we approached the entrance again he paused one more time.

“I’d like to have another outing with you soon, and I also want to aopolgize for making you violate protocol in the park the other day.” He says to me, and I have never met someone who means everything so genuinely, who is so kind hearted, and it just feels almost right to be around him.

“I’d like that as well, and as far as the other day is concerned, that is my fault, I know not to engage with the public while undercover like that, I couldn’t stop myself though, because it was you and I wanted to have a conversation with you.” I say back, desperately hoping it’s not too much.

“May I?” he asks and begins to reach for my hand. I gladly let him take it and press his soft lips to it once again. I feel the blush rising in my cheeks, and I smile as he offers me his arm once again. We make our return in silence, just sharing smiles with each other.

Harry and I had about two outings each week for the next couple of months, but he still hadn’t asked for permission to court me. It was beginning to stress me out to the point where my parents took us down to one outing every other week. We would text in between, but I was still terrified that he would never ask me, that he didn’t see in me what I saw in him. The every other week outings turned into two outings over a three month period, the texts had stopped, and I was afraid that I was going to have to accept a courtship out of obligation rather than want. It might sound weird, but after almost seven months of knowing Lord Harry Styles, I was in love with him. I was in love with someone who didn’t even want to court me.

The Styles family joined us for dinner on a Monday night, and I was to tell Harry that a courtship was no longer an option, I was to be courting another Lord within the week. I was at least happy my parents agreed to let me tell him privately with a chaperone just twenty feet away.

When they arrived that night, something felt different between all of them, something had happened to them. I was dressed in a ruby red and gold Qipao with a gold plated ruby and diamond tiara, my hair was pulled back into a woven ponytail style with curls for volume. Harry was in all black except for his shoes which were a camel color, and his long hair was also pulled back. It was the first time I had seen it that way, and it was definitely doing something for me, no matter how much I wished it hadn’t. When he finally removed his sunglasses for dinner, I had initially wondered why he was wearing them in the first place, but I saw firsthand why, when he politely removed them before dinner. His normally bright, soft green eyes were slightly puffy, he had definitely been crying.

Dinner was terribly quiet, no one felt like talking, Harry seemed to be trying to avoid eye contact with me and it felt like everything was seriously ending. I excused myself for a few moments which I used to try and compose myself, what I was about to do was beginning to feel overwhelming and almost painful. As I went to make my return, Harry was already waiting for me in the rose parlor as my family called it. It looked out to the rose garden and the vases were filled with roses of all colors.

“Harry? Did something happen? Your entire family was quiet during dinner, it worries me.” I asked him quietly.

“Yes, I’m not sure how much you actually know, but my parents aren’t actually together. My mum maintained her title when they split just because of how loved she was by the people of Holmeshire, your parents actually had to approve it. I was only seven when they split, and have maintained a relationship with both of them, my mother moreso though. She has had two relationships since, one which none of us speak to anymore, and the other, Robin, he passed from cancer a little over three months ago. It was getting progressively worse and I just knew I needed to be there for my mum, which is why I stopped texting you, and why it was hard to find time to see you. You have to believe me when I say I wanted to see you, Robin was a good man, he made sure I had good values, and taught me that it’s actually ok for a man to cry.” Harry explains to me, I just sit and listen quietly, knowing he just needs to get all of this out. “My mum has been trying to slowly reconnect herself back to my father over the past six weeks and while it is definitely an adjustment for all of us, I want to start doing things for myself again, rather than just doing things for my family, I want to get back to spending more time with you.” He finishes speaking, and the tears I have been trying to force down, overflow.

“Harry, we can’t, my parents are expecting me to start pursuing other potential matches at tomorrow night’s ball. I’m supposed to tell you that,” I cry while trying to explain it all to him. Harry being the gentle and beautiful soul he is, uses his thumbs to wipe away my tears. I take a few deep breaths before continuing, “Harry I’m to tell you that courtship is no longer an option for us, I’m meant to tell you goodbye, and it breaks my heart to say that to you. I… I need to go.” I say and attempt to rush out but Harry stops me with one word, “wait.”

“Y/N it’s not tomorrow yet, let me try one thing.” He says and steps closer to me.

“Harry, we shouldn’t, I can’t, you can’t do anything Harry, our chaperone is right there, just twenty feet away, and my father…”

“Relax, I’m not going to do anything like that, I want to ask for permission to court you in front of everyone, tonight.” He says with a smile.

“I suppose it’s worth a try, I don’t want to say goodbye to you Har.” I say softly.

“Then it’s settled, and we’re doing this now.” He offers me his arm and I take it, hoping it won’t be the last time.

When we get back to the dinner parlor where everyone else is, still sitting in silence. Harry grabs their attention immediately.

“Excuse me your majesties, Princess Y/N has just informed me of everything, and it upsets me greatly, especially because with my family’s recent loss of Robin, I needed to take time to put them first, and put their well being above my own, even though I would have much rather been spending that time with her highness. Which is why since it’s not tomorrow yet, I’d like to ask you for your formal permission to begin a courtship with her highness Princess Y/N.” Harry announces.

“I suppose you are correct Lord Harry, it is not tomorrow yet, and I suppose…” my father begins, turning to look at my mother, who nods at him, before continuing. “I suppose that my wife and I can excuse your recent absence and forgive you for upsetting our daughter.” he wraps up.

“And as long as it’s what the Princess wants…” My mother picks up and looks at me, I nod eagerly, a wide, bright smile returning to my face for the first time in months.

“It is, it’s everything I want.” I say happily.

“Then you have our permission, and our blessing to court Princess Y/N.” My father announces. I’m just so happy that I was wrong about Harry not wanting me, I hug him. He’s surprised at first, but hugs me back almost immediately. It’s the best feeling in the entire world, to be in his strong arms, I'm impossibly happy.

“Okay, that’s long enough.” My mother says as my father wraps an arm around her waist.

“Sorry mother,” I say, breaking apart from Harry. He takes my hand and kisses the back of it though.

The conversation for the night livens up after that. Harry and I are allowed to sit next to each other on one of the couches. We’re holding both of each other’s hands and whispering to each other for the entire rest of the hour. Just before we go our separate ways for the night he whispers the best phrase in the entire world to me.

He simply says, “I love you,” squeezes my hands again, kisses them both, and heads towards the Velychnyy (Majestic) Suite.

Hope you enjoyed!

As a quick reminder as of 1/17/24, I'm still working on this story, I don't want to post any of it until I'm finished writing it (mostly potential format changes) so please be patient with me and let me know if you'd like to be tagged in future The Princess's Lover (TPL) posts by commenting below!

-Ava

[therulerofallpotatos]

Hannigram Fic Rec List

In no particular order, some hannigram fics I recommend

This is in response to @cassyglenn 's post from a few hours ago I just saw.

So Delicate the Bones by unrealshrike

Summary:

After her father's unsolved disappearance, sixteen-year-old Adeline finds herself at the mercy of a new school, serial killers, FBI agents, and an unorthodox psychiatrist. Meanwhile, Hannibal wants to provide Will with a child after the fatal incident at the Hobbs’ home, and who better than his opportune new patient?

Chp 26/26 Word Count: 177,096 Words

So Delicate the Bones is one of those special fics in this fandom that introduces an original character into the main cast that is both genuinely interesting on their own and fits in with the established ensemble seamlessly. The story is riveting and I was sucked into it almost immediately. I highly recommend this. My bookmark notes (which I design specifically for me) were: An absolute epic of a novel. Adeline/Addie/Del

The Voices and the Shadows by darlinghogwarts, MaddyHughes, and slashyrogue

Summary:

“The Chesapeake Ripper? The serial killer? That's a grisly thing to find at the bottom of a drink. Most people say oblivion ...or possibly sex.” Hannibal sips his wine again. “Why are you thinking about a murderer on your birthday, Will? Is it part of your degree?”   “He is a part of my degree by my own choice. My supervisor didn’t approve, but…” He sighs. “I insisted.” AU where Will—a Masters student studying the Chesapeake Ripper—gets drunk on his birthday and meets an intriguing man at the bar.

Chp 36/36 Word Count: 114,625

My personal bookmark note that I wrote in 2017 when I made this bookmark: The sweetest slowest most infuriating and beautiful burn you will ever experience.

In all honesty I read this in high school when I first started reading Hannibal fanfiction. I might've even read this before watching the show. That said, I don't make a note like that lightly. I only ever write notes like these when I want to remind a me years in the future why I bookmarked something in the first place. Some of the best novels I've read were a handful of fics that I'd make that note for. I know that this enthralled me, sucked me in. I was invested. I was glued to it for days. If this were another fandom, I might expect for it to hit softer if I were to reread it now, but Hannigram in particular has a habit of hitting just as hard at 25 years old as it did at 17 years old.

Light Up the Torches by HigherMagic

Summary:

"We need to find out who this rogue agent is," Sutcliffe says. "Right now, I think it would be fair to assume they're one of ours or our allies', since only our enemies are being killed." Hannibal nods. "Hold briefings with all your captains," he tells them. "I want no stone unturned. Tell them that whoever is doing this will not come to harm; I would very much like to meet them."

Chp 1/1 Word Count: 7,197

My bookmark note was: Oh fuck yes

It must have been delightful. I know myself well enough to know this is just a good time to be had.

The Living Doll by Anna_Jay

Summary:

Will is aware of what he's getting himself into when he buys the dreaded Doll House. Because of the cursed doll, no one has been able to stay longer than a month. He doesn't mind. Perhaps death would be kind after everything he's been through. Over the next few days Will finds himself attached to the strange doll he's named Hannibal. After all, it is just a doll. Right?

Part 2/3 Chp 9/9 Word Count: 35,675

The Living Doll is a 3 part series in which part 2 is the bulk of the story. The link above is for the series so you can easily start at the beginning. This is hands down one of my favorite fics. Ever. Like across all fandoms. actually no. it's one of my favorite novellas I've ever read period. I actually wrote my own haunted ball joint doll fic for a completely different fandom because of this fic's inspiration (it is nowhere near as good but I can share it if you're interested I suppose. It's still a very different story). It's creepy. It's romantic. It's intense and classic. It could easily get picked up by Blumhouse Productions and make a very good movie out of it. If you read anything on this list, read this.

Darling, Don't Be So Shy by murdergatsby

Summary: Will is a paranormal investigator with a special gift. Hannibal is a demon swelling with boredom. Their meeting was supposed to lead to a simple exorcism, but Will has a nasty habit of getting attached.

Chp 13/13 Word Count: 34,571

This was also one of my first Hannigram fics I read back in high school. I adored this fic. I'm a big fan of haunting each other/possession/melding each other into one type dynamics and their distinct dynamic in this story drew me in like a moth to a flame. i read it more than once and saved it here for safekeeping. I will likely reread it after finishing this list.

How to Save a Life (The Cannibal-Friendly Handbook) by KittenDiamore

Summary:

There’s a man looking up at Will, who has clearly been distracted from - Oh. Throwing limbs into the river. Human limbs. Lovely, he thinks sarcastically. Then he thinks it again because it actually is kind of lovely. The man looks confident. At ease with what he is. He’s kinda hot, too. Or: Will tries to jump off a bridge but ends up offering himself up to a cannibalistic serial killer...as you do.

Chp 1/1 Word Count: 3,463

For a shorter rec, this is a delightful little one-shot with a different first meeting (I love different first meeting fics). Delightful premise. Delightful follow through. Had this in my bookmarks for years as well.

There is also one more fic I was expecting to find in my bookmarks and now am going to ask anyone to help me find because it isn't there. There was a series that I read early on (probably 2017) that was about Hannibal who had a 10yo son at the time of the show. The story evolved into a series that was about that son and it deserved to be. It was one of those special projects where an original character naturally stole the show and we were reading to see where his story would take him more than anything else. These were novels and they were epic and I would love to get my hands on it again. This child was cunning and devoted to his father and his own personal ambitions. Any help finding this fic and any fics similar to it would be extremely welcome.

Oh! and a link to my bookmarks as well because there are more fics there. I just listed the ones that stood out the most/that I remembered enough to write my own spiel about them. I have not actually read every single fic I've marked, but even those are interesting enough that I saved them for later.

[writingintheshadowsforever]

Hi Let Me Explain

Quick Note: This might be a long post so I don't blame anyone who doesn't read the whole thing. This is an explanation, an apology, and an update all in one.

Hi everyone I'm back this time for real. I won't make any promises to posting three to four times a week. I won't make any promises on what series or request will be updated first. I will reassure all of you than none of my series or requests are forgotten about. I have them saved somewhere and plan on finishing them. The plan here is to take it one day at a time. One fic at a time. As I start my journey to finding the joy in writing again.

You see I've been doing a lot of self reflection these past couple of weeks. I've been at war with myself on rather or not to let a dream go. That dream to become this big time bestselling author one day. I didn't want to admit that dream which has always been my biggest dream since like high school was doing more harm than good. The dream of being a published writer is destroying my love for writing. So I need to let it go before I find myself hating writing altogether.

Its never easy to walk away or let go of your dreams especially for creatives. I sort of feel like its harder for any type of artist in whatever field to admit that they want to move onto something else. Because we grow up having to listen to parents and teachers telling us. Its not a plausible goal and to pick a safer path or at least have a backup goal. And most of us decide right then and there no matter what we're going to prove all those people wrong. No matter what obstacles we have to face, how many times we fail, or how long it takes. We are determined to find success with our craft and make them eat those words.

Some of us refuse to even consider another interest or path. Some of us put all our eggs in one basket. Some of us let our craft become our entire identity meaning. Later on if we want to walk away or maybe just put on the back burner for a while. Its like losing who you are as a person. You feel like you've failed yourself and at life for letting go. I say letting go and not giving up because I will never give up on writing or more specifically storytelling.

Storytelling made me the person I am today. I wouldn't be here today without my love for storytelling. It got me out of some dark places as a kid and still does today. Storytelling is the only real magic in this world.

As a writer who feel like the heart of storytelling is dying because of capitalism. I can't let it go. I can't let my love for it die which is why for now I have to let the dream go. It doesn't mean my dream still won't come true one day. And its not like becoming a bestselling author is my only dream. I have other dreams that have take the backseat, and I think its time to move them to the front seat.

For now on I write for the joy of it. I write to get those stories out of me. When it comes to my writing I don't ever want it to be about money or fame. Starting now I'm going to stop stressing over traditional publishing and rather or not I'll ever be good enough.

I'm sorry everyone for being gone so long. For a while a part of me started to contemplate giving up on writing altogether and even deleting this account. I was starting to hate writing because I was so stressed trying to figure out how to achieve success as a professional writer.

I once had a stranger who I didn't know at all tell me that one day I was going to be a great writer. Never met or talked to this guy a day in my life. I felt like it was a sign from God, the universe or whatever you believe in. Either way it was some divine intervention moment letting me know I was one day destined for a long and great career as a professional writer. But do you have to be a professional writer to be a great writer? Is it the same thing? Can someone be great at something but never find traditional success? Those are the questions that have been running my head every time I thought about letting go. I still going to struggle with those questions, but I hope one day I find the answer. What makes a great writer?

After going through my old fics the ones I'm going to get started on are:

Queen Ramonda x Reader Enemies to Lover

Part 2 to being Namor's daughter and choosing Wakanda over Talokan

Steal Your Heart

Not Who You Think I Am

New Marvel Stuff

New Addition

My Hero Academia imagines because its my new anime obsession

[strangethings-everywhere]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Tagged by @sassyandclassy94, thank you so much for tagging me in this kind of stuff!

How many works do you have on AO3? Five

What's your total AO3 word count? 135,767

What fandoms do you write for? Marvel (specifically Spider-Man), Lockwood and Co, and The Boys in the Boat. I do have a 1917 fic on there, but I'm not currently working on it

Top five fics by kudos?Proof That Harley Keener Has A Heart - 381 The Injury of Finally Knowing You - 234 Star-Crossed in the Worst Way - 135 All I've Ever Known - 78 When Our Fingers Touch, I Feel My Way Back Home - 4 (I weep)

Do you respond to comments? I want to and I'm trying to get better at responding! A lot of times, I just get distracted lol

What is the fic you wrote with the angriest ending? I've actually never finished a fic (yikes) but I predict it'll probably be my WWII coxstroke AU, just because of war and stuff. As much as I want the ending to be happy (and a lot of it will), I want to be realistic to a soldier's mindset at the end of a grisly war.

What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Again, never finished a fic, but I think it'll be my Locklyle fic. They need a happy ending and I'm also still mourning the cancellation of Lockwood and Co., so yeah. Probably them.

Do you get hate on fics? Strangely, I haven't. Maybe not enough people have read them, but I've never really gotten a mean comment. Shoutout to what haters I might have though, love you guys

Do you write smut? Maaaaaaaaaaaaybe. I've never really written any sexual content until recently. I'll probably write some sexual content but not like full on smut. I don't think I'd be good at it lol

Craziest crossover? I've never written one!

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not to my knowledge, thank goodness

Have you ever had a fic translated? No, but I'm absolutely open to it!

Have you ever co-written a fic before? No, but I think it'd be fun! Especially now that I'm mutuals with a lot of fic writers in the tbitb fandom

All time favorite ship Oooooooooooo, it's probably Harley Keener/Peter Parker. They've had a special place in my heart for a LONG time

What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Probably something I haven't written yet. I'm trying my best to finish all the stories I have posted except my 1917 one, just because I'm no longer super involved in that fandom. I'd like to do a Joseph Liebgott story or maybe a Joshler/Twenty One Pilots fic, but I don't know if I will.

What are your writing strengths? Dialogue and a lot of angst. I gotta make my characters suffer lol

Thoughts on dialogue in another language? As long as y'all are good with it obviously coming from Google translate, then sure

First fandom you wrote in? It was Once Upon A Time when I was in like seventh grade. I had a OUAT Peter Pan fic on Wattpad that actually got pretty popular. I'm sad I never finished it (it is gone forever, sadly).

Favorite fic you've written? Definitely Proof That Harley Keener Has A Heart. That fic has been a labor of love for almost five years and I'm very excited to finally finish that slowburn

There's no 20th question apparently lol

Tags: @seasidesandstarscapes @sparrow-in-the-field @kcsplace @arokel @dogwooddiaries @crushribbons (love you guys <3) and anyone else who wants to play!

[messydiabolical]

Just saw a poll about what in fanfics you dislike the most and it reminded me about a specific plot line I see in Thane fics a fair bit and, well I have a lot to say. I've thought about writing this before but I chickened out tbh, I hate getting into discourse generally. I feel the need to preface that this is personal opinion and feelings, no fic authors owe readers a damn thing, and you can write what you damn well want to! Just to make that abundantly clear. This is also not written with any one fic/author in mind, this aint some vague posting attack on any person in particular. It is a trope I have seen occur on multiple occasions with Thane in particular, and one that gives me a lot of feelings. I bloody LOVE a Thane lives AU. That's my jam, no doubt. It's a cathartic, soothing balm for me. And how you choose to get there can vary massively and I love that too. I would say that I prefer when his motivation to persue treatment is based in wanting to live for Kolyat and especially for himself, and not just because his love of Shepard. And while they break my heart, I also think stories that follow canon, or divert from canon but still have him die, are also super important and I applaud the writers who go there, because ouch. Disability and terminal illness are difficult, real subjects and having that representation is so important. I completely understand why there are people who dislike Thane lives. So to the thing I really dislike: nothing makes my stomach drop faster than the disregarding or removal of Thane's bodily autonomy/consent on his own health. They tend to go like this: Thane has decided not to persue any potential treatments, collapses/is rendered otherwise unable to have his say on the matter past his already stated wants, and while unconscious Shepard overrides his DNR wishes and has him given life saving or extending treatments. He wakes up and is upset at Shepard, but ultimately forgives or even thanks them for making that decision for him (basically saying that he was 'wrong' and Shepard was 'right'.) I do think this can be written in an interesting, character study way. There's also those grey area tangents: For example, what if the treatment suddenly becomes available after he's already unable to give consent, one that he was not aware of. Or what if the source of the treatment changes; before he was against a transplant because it would mean taking from another drell, but suddenly cloning or something else becomes available? etc. Perhaps such plot lines have been explored and I've missed them, because unfortunately after reading a handful of the type where he is just wholesale disregarded by Shepard if I get even a whiff of this kind of plotline I abandon the reading. As for why this does not sit well with me at all? It creates a situation where you have to basically make out that Thane was somehow in the wrong for ever feeling that way, that his acceptance of his terminal illness is bad, his motivations wrong. Again, something that can be explored- but not by just wholesale disregarding and overriding him then later teaching him why he was 'wrong'. We are getting into the very murky area of "if a person is depressed/mentally compromised by trauma/their past enough, they are no longer able to make decisions on their own health, this is for their own good'. And- yikes. Red alert. Because that is a story that needs to be handled with so much care, and it absolutely should not be used as a temporary source of angst to further a fucking romance plot. I think this hits hard for me especially as a disabled person who has had to deal with my fair share of medical fuckery. I'm also neurodivergent and have mental health issues. Advocating for myself is something I have had to battle many a time. Anyway hoo I had that one pent up hey? Again, I hope no one feels personally attacked by this. It's my own ick, one that might resonate with some, one that others might completely disagree with.

[glacierruler]

Sides and Neurodivergency results!

This, this is gonna be a long post!

Taglist: @cutebisexualmess @oatmeal-stans-the-trash-rat @nebulous-astronaut @pandagobrr @awitchbravestheverge

First I'm gonna look at all the general responses, and then screenshot some of the replies/extra info that was given in these!

Everyone who responded was really nice, so I'm definitely down to do these again, just maybe not for a little bit! Gonna do a read more, and put everything below that!

First, the overarching responses to the questions!

Every person who responded to it said Yes, they think it's okay to write the sides as neurodivergent. One person went on to say:

Which is a fair assumption of what I'm trying to ask, considering the phrasing of the question. However, I do want to clear up, that I asked this question to know your opinions on it, not to ascribe morality to it. I get that the wording is kind of confusing, but I'm unsure of how else to word it.

Next question is this one. I'm asking if they make the sides neurodivergent, which neurodivergencies does the individual give them? There was an other option for any that I didn't list.

As you can see there is a long list, a good chunk of the answers were put in by the people who responded by filling out the other answer box. Here's the ones that were cut off:

To the first one, yeah, that's completely fair. I'm also hesitant to delve into neurodivergencies if I don't feel like I've done enough research or have personal experience with it(and even with personal experience I get scared to do it still).

To the second one, thank you so much for this long list! I didn't know a good chunk of these existed, and this will be so helpful in any future polls about this subject that I do! /gen

The next two questions were optional, and I'll be sharing my favorite answers. The first one:

Why do you/don't you make the sides neurodivergent? And why that/those specific neurodivergency(ies) if you do?

I'll be putting the Image ID here, because some of these screenshots are too small for me to put it in the alt text.

Image ID: 5 screenshots of 5 different replies to the answer above. Screenshot 1 says: I make the Sides neurodivergent because it's mostly me projecting as a neurodivergent person. This includes me leaving things implied as I slowly figure myself out.

Screenshot 2 says: I don't usually focus on that part of the story, it might be implied, but not explicitly said. despite being a neurodivergent myself. Idk I guess I'm just more interested in fun fantasy world than real world problems that kinda stress me out. But I would totally read a fic that focuses on any sort of neurodivergencies!

Screenshot 3 says: I like to because i tend to project my own neurodivergencies onto them, and i use my fic writing as a way to cope with my own internal issues sometimes. Expressing them with problems similar or reminiscent of my own, even if not explicitly so, allows me to figure out and work through my own issues. I have diagnosed ADHD and self diagnosed ASD and C-PTSD, so i find myself able to write about my own experiences through them.

Screenshot 4 says: When I write them this way, it's for the same reason I write them with a handful of physical disabilities. I want to explore the sides struggling with things I struggle with in my life. Because it's cathartic for me and also it falls under the "write what you know" adage. I also find it comforting or cathartic to read about the sides struggling with these or similar things. I think it's important for people without any neurodivergencies to do a lot of research before writing fanfic (or original fiction) with neurodivergent characters. I would do the same for a neurodivergency that I didn't personally have. But people everywhere *are* neurodivergent, there's no good reason *not* to explore these topics in fanfic.

Screenshot 5 says: If it's all the sides with the same diagnosis, that's another thing entirely. Part of it being that it's applying a diagnosis onto a, albeit fictional, version of a real person. I understand that the *Character* Thomas is different from *Real* Thomas, but it still feels weird and icky to do so to me. I won't judge anyone who does so, because that's a me thing rather than a problem thing, but it's just not for me to diagnose someone via fanfiction.

End Image ID

All of these are fair, personal reasons as to why they make the sides neurodivergent or they don't make the sides neurodivergent. (I did not ask if they did or didn't, which was an error on my part imho).

I will say, that in fandom and fanfiction, giving characters neurodivergencies is not the same thing as armchair diagnosing a real person with a neurodivergency, but I totally get how it can feel similar to that. I think for most people, the reason they give the sides neurodivergencies is to feel more connected to these characters that they know and love, or even to explore the characters more.

As for not exploring neurodivergencies in fanfic, there might not be a good reason for it, but there are definitely valid reasons for it. Honestly, even though I hc Remus and Patton as being bipolar(like me), I'm always hesitant to write about it. Mainly because of my own internal anxiety of what if I get this wrong, what if this isn't true for everyone, what if etc... So I completely understand people being hesitant to write the sides as neurodivergent even when they have said neurodivergencies. It's not necessarily a fear that will go away with time, it just becomes easier to overcome some days(at least for me). And to anyone who is unsure about something when attempting to start writing neurodivergencies in fanfic, research and ask questions. There will be those who are willing to answer.

I asked if there were any comments or questions for me, and I'll share these two answers!

Image ID: 2 screenshots, the first one reads: I would love another form like this but specifically for what neurodivergencies people give each side, I’d love to see the data on that

The second one reads: you can do anything you want with characters, they aren’t real, and it isn’t unethical to portray them how you want! in the same way people draw the sides to look physically different from irl thomas, people are going to headcanon their internal lives differently too

End Image ID.

To the first person! That's such a great idea, and I'd love to do it when I have the time/energy for it, maybe sometime this summer?

To everyone who took the time to respond, thank you so much! Your answers have been very insightful, and it was really enjoyable doing this! I hope you all have a wonderful day!

[welcometololaland]

Binged Read "living at the centre of would...." tonight, and i am in tears, I just love love your writing so damn much Lola 🫶🏼 You grip on Characters and their Characterization is so strong. I have read every single of your Lone star fics till date. You are my Favorite author!! I have specially made a tumblr account to reach out to the beautiful writers of this fandom and appreciate them and let you'll know that you all matter so very much to us!!!

Can't wait to read what more beautiful things you put for us, i m specifically so intrested in ALTA ( just genuine excitement and want to share the Excitement , no pressure, please take your time,m very patient lmao)

Never Understood Grief so wonderfully and truthfully before!

Thank You <3

(ALTA SNIPPET BELOW CUT)

Thank you so much! The honeymoon fic was difficult for me to write (because I don't often write angst), but it was also incredibly cathartic. I think it helped me process a lot of my own feelings about season 4 episodes 17 and 18, and also made me think deeper about Carlos in particular and his state of mind in these episodes.

I feel honoured to know you have read so many of my stories! I hope they brought you joy <3 I think it's awesome you made a tumblr account to tell people that you like their work!

ALTA is finished, but it is in beta-phase. I'm not sure when it will be ready but I'm hoping to post ch 1 soon(ish). This fic has been so fiddly and difficult, I don't think I've EVER spent so much time nitpicking. I've re-written and re-worked the chapters so many times it's insane. Never write a mystery, guys. It's HARD lol. Here, have a snippet (it's unbeta-d, don't judge me).

Summer Break, June 2015

“Carlos,” TK sighs, sliding himself into the passenger seat of Carlos’ car, jiggling the ancient manual windows to wind them down, allowing fresh air in. Carlos knows he’s going to have to get a better car one day – he can’t keep driving around in something that has no AC in the middle of Texas – but he’s also a broke student and his father isn’t a movie star. Not that he’ll be reminding TK of that, lest he turn up to TK’s house one day and find himself presented with a brand new Range Rover.

Although, given recent events, he’s never going to be able to set foot in TK’s house again.

“Carlos,” TK repeats with a little huff, leaning back against the seat as Carlos backs out of Owen’s driveway. “Why are you so mad? It’s not like this is the first time this has happened—”

“TK,” Carlos exclaims, one hand tapping the steering wheel in exasperation. “Your dad walked in and we were—”

“My dad has walked in on us loads of times,” TK argues. “He has no sense of privacy, you know that.”

“Yes, but—”

“One time he caught me practically giving you a blowjob, remember?” TK interjects. “I think it was the first time you met him, actually—”

“TK!” Carlos practically cries. “How are you not more concerned about the fact that your dad walked in while you were riding me?”

TK shrugs. “I don’t know,” he replies, infuriatingly calm. “We’re adults and adults have sex, right? I don’t think anyone in the Strand household is under any illusions as to why the pool house was out of bounds for six months straight.”

Carlos has a sudden urge to take a random left hand turn and drive them into another state. He’s not sure he can bear to be in the same timezone as Owen Strand, knowing that he’s seen them in such a compromising position. On second thoughts, Carlos wishes he could drive to Antarctica.

“Seriously, baby,” TK says, holding his palm up on the centre console, begging for Carlos’ touch. “It’s going to be okay. I bet my dad won’t even say anything. I mean, he might make an awkward joke about it but trust me, he doesn’t care.”

Carlos blows out a breath. “I don’t know,” he replies with uncertainty. “I’m beginning to think we should move out.”

Out of his peripherals, he can see TK practically bounce in the passenger seat. “Some place other than your college dorm?” he asks. “Carlos, that would be—”

“I’m not serious,” Carlos interjects, then feels terrible about it when he looks across at TK’s face and sees it fall. “Wait, hang on, I didn’t mean—”

TK retracts his hand and brings it to his face, covering his mouth as he turns to look out of the passenger-side window. 

“TK,” Carlos calls, sighing as he pulls over to the kerb and throws the car into park. “TK, look at me.”

TK turns back slowly, a sad frown etched into his features. “I get it,” he says, a little despondently. “I mean, I’d be terrible to live with. I know you think I’m spoiled and I don’t know how to do anything, and I do hate chores but I’d do them if it meant I got to live with you.”

“I don’t think any of those things,” Carlos says softly, reaching across the space between them to rest his palm on TK’s leg. “Sweetheart, I’d love nothing more than to live with you—”

“I do hate chores,” TK admits. “Come on, that part is true.”

“Okay,” Carlos concedes, allowing his lips to curl into a smile as he watches TK’s do the same. “If we’re being honest, you suck at chores. But I’m sure you could get good at them, with practice.”

“Maybe,” TK says, wrinkling his nose. “I hear you’re a pretty good teacher.”

“I am,” Carlos replies seriously, leaning halfway across the console to kiss the tip of TK’s nose and then his lips. “I want to live with you, TK,” he says. “I just can’t afford that right now. Plus, we’re young. Maybe it’s a good idea to wait until we finish college at least.”

“And give my dad more opportunities to walk in on us?” TK asks, arching an eyebrow. “Your funeral, Reyes.”

Carlos shrugs, trying to school his expression. “Oh no, that’s not happening,” he says smoothly. “We just can’t have sex at your place anymore.”

“What are you suggesting?” TK scoffs. “That we have sex in your dorm room? Because Darren is gonna have to get real cool with some stuff pretty quickly…”

Carlos shakes his head. “I was thinking more like abstinence.”

TK chokes. “Abst— No, Carlos. Abstinence does not work when your boyfriend looks like this.” He flourishes his hands in Carlos’ direction, motioning to the entire top half of his body.

“Was thinking we could wait until marriage,” Carlos teases, turning the ignition back on as TK squawks. 

“Okay,” he says, “I guess we’re getting married tomorrow.”

“Not legal yet,” Carlos points out. “Guess we’ll have to wait a while.”

[tarabyte3]

A few months ago, I ran into an issue with another user on here where they frequently made me uncomfortable as both a person AND as a fanfiction writer. Long story short, there was a strong disregard of boundaries that eventually lead to me blocking this person. Since then, I've been thinking a lot about boundaries. So I figured I would state mine clearly so there isn't any confusion in the future.

Here is what I, as a fanfiction writer, am comfortable with:

Likes/Kudos! 💖

Comments on either Tumblr or AO3. They can be as simple or as indepth as you want/are comfortable with. I will roll around in them like they're catnip either way.

Reblogs with tags OR with a comment/reaction reply!

Asks! Including anon! Feel free to send me comments, questions, headcanons, predictions, keyboard smashes, thirst, etc!

Follows! I will be so glad to have you here and also I apologize ahead of time.

AO3 bookmarks. Specifically, I love it when people put unhinged comments on them, it makes my day. So don't worry about being too much!

If any of my fics inspired you to make something (moodboard, playlist, art, meme, another fic, etc) you can absolutely send it to me or tag me! I will cry.

If a post or something similar made you think of me or my fic, feel free to send it to me or tag me there as well!

What I'm not comfortable with:

Sending me a DM. What I mean by this: 1. Sending me a message to discuss my work in relation to any trauma you might have while also trauma dumping without consent or warning. (Fanfiction can absolutely be therapeutic to read or write, but I am not comfortable being put in that position with someone I don't know, nor am I a therapist.) 2. Messaging me to tell me how my fic inspired sexual dreams or thoughts about the character. (Yes, I write smut, but that doesn't mean I want to be cornered and exposed to something like that without consent or, again, with someone I don't know. Please understand how a DM is much different than a saucy comment in that regard.) 3. Messaging me to make what I've written completely about you without acknowledging that I wrote it. (Meaning not even a single comment like, "I enjoyed this!" or "It was good!" etc, before launching immediately into talking about yourself.) Please don't do any of this. Especially if you have not done ANY of the things listed above. You're taking all of the time, effort, creativity, and passion I put into my writing without supporting me in any way. You're also removing the community aspect of fan works. And most importantly, it makes me uncomfortable!

Being mean to me :(

My work is here on Tumblr and on AO3.

[plasma-studios]

hi! help w/ writing fairytale-like stories TvT?

hello! I don't really know if this is about my og fairytales or fae fanfics so if you wanted an answer on Fae specifically send me another ask!

generally, but i personally feel that writing fairytales is harder than short stories, because fairytales require a certain note of whimsy and fantasy- sticking to stone cold reality makes it easy to ruin the immersive effect that the genre is known for.

if you've written other genres before (like me) that might be worth taking note of; similarly, when I first started writing fairytales I lowkey struggled with keeping the fantastical elements in line with a coherent/cohesive storyline. i think the thing that helps me the most is to just focus on vibes and edit the storyline out later! and if you enjoy reading fairytales, I find just like any other genre reading other works in it will really help improve your own understanding and skill with it.

also! I find that rhythm is particularly important in fairy tales. i'm really sure how to put it into words but the way sentences are phrased in fairy tales do a large job in bringing out the whimsy and pulling in the reader. for this, I really suggest reading the sentences out loud to get a clearer idea of how to manipulate the structure to get the desired outcome. again, if you get stuck, feel free to reference other fairy tales that will probably be clearer on what I mean by this lol.

finally probably the most important advice i've given: go research on other mythologies! i'm guessing you're already familiar with some of them, but it really does help to see into other worlds of fantasy and take inspiration from there.

i must admit i'm not the best person to ask for help with writing fairytales, someone you could also go to with more experience is @laurasimonsdaughter, really fantastic (pun!) patchwork fairytales with queer rep, has a lot of knowledge about fairytales and also am fairly certain they're familiar with lotsa mythologies-?

anyway long post sorry lmao if you were asking more about the Fae fics lmk

[nerves-nebula]

I’ve been rotating your TMNeglectedT AU in my brain and read all your posts about it so here’s a dogpile of thoughts and questions (you don’t have to answer/reply to all of them):

I don’t know if you’ve answered a question like this before but- do your versions of the turtles deal with the idea of “my parent was nice to me once so they can’t be that bad-“? Especially Donnie, i feel like Splinter could be polite to him (or just acknowledge him) once and then he’d be like “well now I’m horrible for thinking he’s bad because he’s been decent before-“

do you plan to make this into a story (whether a comic/fic/etc.) with a plot or just a world build in a way-? (Sorry if i don’t make any sense-)

Would you say that Mikey uses Maladaptive daydreaming to cope/has Maladaptive Daydreaming Disorder? In which his daydreams can often take over whatever he’s doing to such a degree that it effects him negatively- 

I hate Splinter for being so shaped, like i love his design but i VIOLENTLY hate him

Raph being afraid to cry/not letting himself cry is so me- you mentioned in a reply to an ask that he doesn’t cry for really long periods of time which is 🤝(i definitely think i experienced some form of emotional neglect when younger- and reading about this universe is confirming that to me)

You’ve mentioned Donnie having experiences with grooming, this adds another layer of trauma to him- Would he ever experience flashbacks/triggers to his uncomfortable experiences? For example if someone grabbed his arm a certain way would he experience panic from previous situations. How would him and/or his brothers react to that? (him being triggered and how he reacts because of/during the flashback) at this point i kin your Donnie and I might be projecting

Donnie 🤝 Me (intrusive thoughts)

If i were to make fan art and post it how should I tag it? Or should i tag you in the post?

Thanks for reading this long ask and again you don’t have to answer/reply to everything!

gonna answer these in order

yes, this is actually the hardest for Leo to deal with, since he was treated the "nicest." nobody wants to think their parents suck (unless you've gone full in on it like Mikey haha) so it's a rough road for everyone. it's like, he COULD'VE BEEN SO GOOD.

I plan to do a bunch of one of comics, and I'd like to either make one big fic or a bunch of smaller fics in the same universe. but right now I really only have time for posting on tumblr, since I've already got to deal with college and my ongoing personal comic that updates once a week.

I'm a little bit confused about what specifically maladaptive daydreaming is/looks like. I've watched a few videos on it but am still not sure what its actually like, so i hesitate to say yes, but he definitely spends a lot of his time in his head, sometimes to the detriment of himself/his brothers.

I also hate splinter <3 he's so The Worst

yea i actually cry really easy (or i used to before T) so that's something based off my oldest sister, who straight up could not cry for years hah. trauma's a bitch.

I think all of the turtles experience frequent flashbacks/triggers. they're all pretty heavily traumatized, so it just makes sense. Donnie is probably embarrassed about how his flashbacks/ptsd symptoms make him seem more "twitchy" than his brothers. but they all have ptsd/cptsd. he's just the one who's the worst at hiding his symptoms. that being said, the ways the brothers react really depends on the specific situation. sometimes they'll mock him, sometimes they wont even realize whats happening.

you can tag your post however you want but I'll only see it if you tag me, which I advise you do, cause I like seeing fanart :)

[waltwhitmansbeard]

let's talk fic request etiquette!

as someone who has been in the fanfiction game for a hot minute now, i've been having some Thoughts around ask memes for drabblers and fic writers. these ask memes are such a fun and helpful way for writers to exercise their creative chops, and for readers to participate in the creation of the kinds of stuff they like to read. i'm a huge fan of ask memes myself (feel free to send me one!), and i've written a lot of stuff i never would have thought to write without other people's generous prompts in my inbox.

but! i think it can be easy for some expectations to emerge around fic writers and ask memes that can make writing stressful and overwhelming for writers, and that's not great! fic writing should be a source of fun and creativity for writers and readers, and so there are couple things i'd like ppl to keep in mind when they're thinking about asking their favorite writers to fulfill a prompt.

check their blog! a lot of writers have rules or guidelines for the types of requests they'll take and how they'll take them. for example, some writers may close down their askbox after receiving a certain number of asks, while others will happily take as many requests as come their way! writers will also likely have a list of fandoms and/or ships they'll write for, which is good for you to know when it comes to making requests. please do a thorough check of a writer's blog to make sure you're respecting their boundaries before making a request. some writers might have guidelines that fly in the face of some of the other items on this list, and that's okay! these are just general recommendations, and individual writers might feel differently.

make one request at a time. this piece of advice might be directly contradicted by the guidelines on a particular writer's blog, and if a writer says they're down to accept as many prompts in a row from the same person as they can, then great! do that! but it's not uncommon for a writer to be inundated with a lot of requests at once, especially after posting a new ask meme, and so it's considered polite to send one request and then wait for yours to be filled before sending another. remember, you're very likely not the only person who enjoys this particular person's writing, so give them the chance to do their thing.

only send the prompt and the fandom/ship/character(s). the idea behind these fic ask memes is to see what the writer comes up with when only given the prompt and the characters to write about. if you like this writer, you should like what they write! unless the writer says otherwise, please do not send detailed scenarios or plot descriptions of what should happen in the fic you're requesting. if you're reading an ask meme, and one of the prompts on the list makes you think of a specific scene for your favorite ship, wonderful! that should be something you write and explore for yourself. it is not another writer's responsibility to jump through your enumerated hoops when you send them an ask meme request. remember, your prompt is meant to be the jumping off point for the writer's creativity, not an essay assignment in a literature class.

specify the ask meme, especially if it's older. if you're sending in a prompt from an ask meme, and the writer has reblogged a number of them, please help them out and let them know which one you're sending from. this is especially true if you're sending from an ask meme that is not the one they've reblogged most recently. it's just helpful!

reblog the fic you've requested. this one is basic as hell, y'all. if you've requested someone write something, you reblog it and put something nice in the tags. end of story. this was written for you. the very least you can do is be nice about it. and if the prompt was not filled in the way you expected, or if you didn't enjoy the fic, fine! don't request from that writer again. but for this fic, just fucking reblog it. it's quite literally the bare minimum and it costs you nothing.

talk to the writer! if you're not sure what a particular writer's feelings are on ask memes/requests/writing in general, ask! i promise you, we love talking about writing and our favorite blorbos, and it's always better to err on the side of courtesy. feel free to ask us how and when we like to receive requests or what types of requests we're okay with taking. we'd love to tell you how to make our lives easier, lol.

remember that we don't get paid. unlike fanart, fanfiction cannot legally be commissioned or purchased, so even though fanfiction writers put just as much time and work into their art as fan artists do, we do not have the option of any kind of remuneration for it. and that's fine, we get that! but it also means that we are doing a lot of labor (labor of love, but labor nonetheless) for free. please keep that in mind when sending in requests. we're happy to write using your prompts, but it's a prompt, not a detailed commission. our ideas and wants matter, too.

fic writers, feel free to add to this list with your own suggestions. i can only speak for myself when i say i love receiving fic requests from people, because i love writing and i love connecting with others in my fandom and i love exploring these characters in a way i might otherwise not have done. but what i don't love is feeling like i am at the beck and call of others in my fandom. i write for me, and then i like to share what i've written with others. it's how i participate in my community, and i'm so grateful to anyone who has ever sent me a prompt to fulfill. please just remember that your favorite writers don't just exist to bring your personal whims to life, and that they work really hard to create the things you enjoy.