#i meant quote. dammit

[kellymountainzone]

women.

[deus-ex-mona]

me when the bacteria c o l o n i s e s

[batman-dc-imagines]

Incorrect quotes with the J Squad + (Name)

(Name): Yo is Jerome sleeping or dead?

Jon: Hopefully dead, I hated his guts.

Jervis: Yeah, so did I.

Jerome: Okay first of all, fuck you-

——————————————————————

(Name): *Screams*

Jerome: *Screams louder to establish dominance*

Jon: Should we do something?

Jervis: No, I want to see who wins

——————————————————————

(Name): Everyone, synchronize your watches.

Jerome: I don’t know how to do that.

Jon: I don’t wear a watch.

Jervis: Time is a construct.

——————————————————————

(Name): Can I be frank with you guys?

Jerome: Sure, but I don’t see how changing your name is gonna help.

Jon: Can I still be Jon?

Jervis: Shh, let Frank speak.

(Name): I hate y’all.

Jervis: You don’t mean that, Frank.

——————————————————————

(Name), about Jerome: Apparently we’re getting someone new in the group.

Jon: Are we stealing them?

Jervis: New or used?

(Name): Wonderful responses, both of you.

——————————————————————

(Name): How did none of you hear what I just said?

Jervis: I’ve been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.

Jerome: I got distracted about halfway through.

Jon: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

——————————————————————

(Name): Dammit, Jerome!

Jerome: What?! It wasn’t me!

(Name): Sorry, force of habit. Dammit, Jon!

Jon: Not me either.

(Name): Oh...Then who set the house on fire?

Jervis: *whistles*

(Name): JERVIS-

——————————————————————

*(Name) is cooking*

Jerome: Any chance that’s for me?

(Name): It’s for Jervis. I’m planning on making some bad choices tonight, and I need him on my side.

Jon: I never realized the forethought that went into being a disappointment.

——————————————————————

Jervis: I think (Name) was right.

Jon: I'm surprised they haven't marched in here to say 'I told you so.'

Jerome: They wouldn't do that.

(Name): You're right, Jerome. For once in your life, you're 100% right. I would never say that.

(Name): *turns around, the shirt they're wearing saying 'I told you so' on the back*

——————————————————————

Jerome, banging on the door: Baghead! Open up!

Jon: Well, it all started when I was a kid...

Jervis: No, he meant-

(Name): Let him finish.

——————————————————————

(Name): Have you seen Jerome around here?

Jon: Ugh, yes. He made a horrible mess of the blood fountain.

Jervis: It looks fine to me?

Jon: IT USED TO BE WATER!!!

——————————————————————

Jon: Why are (Name) and Jerome sitting with their backs to each other?

Jervis: They had a fight.

Jon: Then why are they holding hands?

Jervis: They get sad when they fight.

[spockandawe]

Double edit: actually, that's enough of that.

Edit: I was expecting maybe thirty notes tops. This is a surprise, and one that doesn't delight me. If I hear about any harassment stemming from this post, I'll be more pissed at the harasser than the person this is about.

God. Dammit.

I hate this, let's just out that out there! I'm unhappy that I'm talking about any of this, I'm unhappy there's an issue that's come up at the intersection of media preservation, respecting authors, and one of my favorite book series. And I'm unhappy that I've censored the names in the screenshots I'm about ti post! I'm not happy that I'm helping to slide consequences away from someone who thought this was an acceptable thing to do to a modern working author. But I'm even less happy this is something that happened in the first place, and I'm VERY unhappy the original post has been deleted without a whisper of accountability or apology.

And here's a partial screenshot of the IA page, which has since been removed. I get the excitement to share something you love with a new audience. This isn't the right way to go about it.

First, if Martha Wells' patreon is still in place, I encourage everyone in the strongest possible terms to go sign up for it. It'll charge you one dollar. I've been a member since probably 2018, and I mistakenly believed it was locked to new members (it's labeled 'Currently Closed To New Patrons') until I had reason to look it up last night, when I tripped across this reddit post from earlier this year.

Now. I was looking it up because of this sudden patreon message:

Even if the patreon goes away, I still recommend that people sign up. Explore the stories! They're very fun! Even though the patreon has been dormant for years, I've loved having that repository in place.

In fact, in the interest of full disclosure, what kept me from immediately reblogging last night is that I've felt the same archival urges! I bound a hard copy of these stories earlier this year, and let me quote my own words from that post:

I live in a state of perpetual low key stress over the impermanence of digital media and that goes extra for sites that aren’t designed to work well as archives. I hope, desperately, that someday Martha Wells publishes more raksura, maybe even including these stories! I will buy it immediately. No thoughts, wallet empty. I own all her other raksura books in literally three formats, fingers crossed that by printing this, I can actualize a formal official printing of these stories by the author 😂

So. Archiving, yes. But especially with a living, working author, I would never DREAM of posting a public free-for-all with IA and mediafire links. My most charitable interpretation is that OP thought it was fine since the stories were "free," even though the writeups acknowledge that access costs a dollar. Ao3 is also free. Reposting someone else's fic is still understood to be a dick move.

Last night i was left kind of stunned, and I was hoping to see some kind of response from op this morning taking responsibility, and was... disappointed to see that the post was just deleted. The IA listing was deleted too, and I hadn't actually looked up the mediafire post yet but I'm guessing it's also been nuked. Out of curiosity, I wanted to see if there was anything more in the comments, so I found a surviving reblog. And there was!

So I'm writing this post because I'm... frustrated. Taking down the files is a good step. Posting them publicly was a worse step, but hey. I still more than understand if Martha Wells still deletes her patreon. I don't understand what sending her files of her own stories is meant to accomplish, but whatever. Ascribing a profit-driven motive is driving me up a wall, though. She's financially stable. I read her email, and what i see is frustration that even though it only cost a dollar to access 62k of her work through her own chosen location, control of her writing is being forcibly removed from her. I'm sure that seeing copies sold by third parties wouldn't help, but I don't think that's the root issue.

This is a fandom-heavy website, I'm sure most of us have seen posts about not reposting art when you can share directly from the artist's blog. I've seen posts about stop copying your ao3 faves over to wattpad just because you like reading there better. At a fundamental level, I read the message from Martha Wells as a deep frustration at having no way to share her creative work without someone removing control of it from her hands. And I don't know if there's any way to really take back that damage.

[crazylittlejester]

The LU Links as random, unfunny things that I do

Time: Looked up “How long does it take an allergic reaction to kill you?” while silently crying on more than one occasion. Did not bother to tell anyone he thought he might be having one

Warriors: Still says “Go Piss Gurl!!” with his whole chest and with the enthusiasm of a cheerleader every time someone says they have to use the bathroom. Will never stop.

Twilight: When he goes to the movies with a group of people and finds himself sitting on the end of the group, he will go online as if to buy tickets for the same movie and time he’s at, just to check and see if the seat next to him has been purchased or not because he doesn’t wanna sit next to a stranger

Sky: Every single time he sees an out of state license plate, without FAIL he will go “[name of state]? What’re you doin’ here?” but with the EXACT same tone and inflection as the “Wait a minute… who ARE you?” meme, laugh included. It’s never meant to be insulting, it’s always just stupid, and it’s instinct at this point. He doesn’t even think about it anymore it just happens

Wild: Sighs and says “But at the end of the day, I’m gods most normal man” after either screaming about something for five straight minutes, breaking something, or saying the most down bad batshit things about a fictional man

Hyrule: Wears the most emotionally devastating anime sweatshirt out in public (“Alchemy Crossing” with a picture of the transmuted Nina Tucker on it in the animal crossing art style) and forgets he has it on. Frequently goes into comic and game stores while wearing it, and watches the lights die from the employees eyes when they comprehend what he’s wearing, and only after they shake their heads and go “I hate you” does he ever remember what sweatshirt he grabbed. And then he cackles

Legend: Screams “DAMMIT!! HE’S POOR!!!” every time he goes to loot a corpse in bg3 just to find out they have absolutely nothing in their pockets

Four: Still regularly quotes vines

Wind: Every time someone asks him “Hey can I [insert something they probably should not do]?” his response is “Go crazy, babygirl”

[luxthestrange]

Incorrect quotes#926 Learn Luci dammit-

Yesterday Diavolo had a grand party...Which made their brother's ALMOST late given Asmodeus's picking the right outfit

Luci: Asmodeus, come on!,We're gonna miss the the ball!What can he be doing up there?

ELECTRICITY BUZZING

Mc*Dusting Lucifer,s shoulders with a smile*Blow-drying, Dear

Luci: Applepie, why does it take women an hour to do what a normal demon can do in five seconds?

Mam*Adjusting his hair in the mirror and raises his brow at him*Speak for yourself, Bro

Asmo*Coming down the stairs with a smile*-Okay, I'm ready. How do I look?~

Luci: Fine. Now, let's go-

Asmo*Stops and pouts going up the stairs again* Fine? I need gorgeous! I'm changing!~

Luci: No. I... I... I meant gorgeous! Oh, why didn't I say gorgeous? Why? Why? Why?

Mc: Luci, I've been working here for three years When are you gonna learn?

Sat*Nodding agreeing with you*"Does this make me look fat?" No.

Levi"Do you like my hair this way?" Yes.

Beel & Belph"Is my tush wider than usual?"...There is no answer to that one.

Mam: Bro, you've got to know how to speak to a Pretty demon, YO! Asmo, you'll miss the buffet!~

Asmo*Going down the stairs fast happily*Ready! How do I look?~

All: Gorgeous!

Asmo: But do you think the dress makes me look...

All: No!~

Asmo: Do you like what I did with my...

All: Yes!~

Asmo*Going to grab a new purse* Great. I just gotta change my purse!~ Luci: No, no, no, Asmodeus, No one's gonna see the bloody purse-We'll be late!

[f-smutt-fitzgerald]

TWST CH. 6 Incorrect Quote: La Chancla

***🦐[End of Chapter 6 spoilers... Sorta]🦐***

🦐Yuu: *yanking off their shoe and yelling over the intercom* God dammit Idia! When I get down there I’m gonna whoop your ass so hard!

💀Overblot Idia at the door to the Underworld: It seems that Yuu is on the way as well? Fufufu, what does that magicless noob hope to accomplish once they get here? This is going to be easy…

🦐Yuu: *bursting through the door with mighty chancla in hand* How many times do I have to teach you lil’ shits this lesson!?

💀Idia: *trying to run away* EEEP!

🦐Yuu: *grabbing Idia and whacking him across the face with their shoe* STOP *slap* TRYING *slap* TO *slap* END *slap* THE *slap* WORLD *slap* DAMMIT!

[Vil, Leona, Jamil, Azul, Riddle, Rook, and Epel in the doorway watching as Yuu beats the shit out of Idia.]

🍎Epel: *nervously eyeing the others* Should… Should we help…?

👑Vil: *staring with awe* It… It looks like Yuu’s got it covered…

🍎Epel: No, I meant… Should we help Idia…?

[Idia trying to crawl away and Yuu pulling him back in to throw him across the room.]

🦐Yuu: I’m tired of you mother fuckin’ wizards and your mother fuckin’ bullshit!

🦁Leona: *stepping back nervously along with the others* Probably best that we stay out of this one…

[callofdudes]

AleRudy ✨incorrect quotes✨ ft: Valeria, Ghost, and Soap.

Alejandro: As top in this relationship, I think we should-

Rodolfo: I can't believe you're pulling rank on me.

-------

Rodolfo: *chokes on something*

Alejandro: Jeez, Rodolfo, don't die on us.

Rodolfo: Don't tell me what to do, I'll die whenever the hell I want!

--------

Rodolfo: Here are two pictures. One of them is your bedroom, and the other is a garbage dumpster. Can you tell which is which?

Alejandro:

Alejandro: This one is the dumpster.

Rodolfo: They’re both your bedroom.

-------

Rodolfo: Do you think sex without love is a sin?

Alejandro: If it is, I’ll see you in hell.

-------

Alejandro: You need to stop swearing so much.

Rodolfo: Shut the fuck up.

Alejandro: Yeah, that's not how you do it.

Rodolfo: Alright sorry. It's just that it's hard not to swear. The words just creep up on me when I least expect it.

Alejandro: Now now, don't be like that. Just replace the swear words with 'beep' and you'll be fine.

Rodolfo: Shit the beep up.

Alejandro:

Rodolfo: SHUT, DAMMIT! I MEANT SHUT!

-------

Alejandro: Yes, I'm adopting Rodolfo and you cowards can't tell me no!

-------

Rodolfo: Alejandro...

Alejandro: I can tell by the tone of your voice that you are disappointed. Alas, I must further disappoint you by affirming how little I give a fuck.

-------

Alejandro: This is horrible! This is the most humiliating thing to ever happen to me!

Rodolfo: Oh-? Even more humiliating than-

Alejandro: We are not doing this!

-------

Valeria: Enough! How dare you mock me in such a manner!?

Rodolfo: Well. How would you like me to mock you? I take requests.

-------

Alejandro: Well, has Valeria been wrong before?

Rodolfo: How wide are we willing to open this up?

-------

Alejandro: Five little monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and…

Valeria: Was diagnosed with mesothelioma.

Alejandro: Mamma called the doctor and the doctor said…

Rodolfo: You might be entitled to financial compensation if he or a loved one dies.

------

Rodolfo: Two years ago, I married my best friend.

Rodolfo: Valeria is still mad about it, but me and Alejandro were drunk and thought it was funny.

-------

Valeria, to Alejandro: You know, Rodolfo can be really aggressive, so it's important to take all the necessary precautions when approaching.

Valeria: *blows airhorn at Rodolfo* GET FUCKED!

------

Valeria, washing the dishes: Who the fuck used this pan??

Valeria: Wait. I the fuck used this pan…

Rodolfo: It was you the fuck.

Valeria: It was I the fuck…

Alejandro: Who cooks rice in a pan?

Rodolfo: She the fuck.

-------

Valeria: Fun Fact! The average person will walk by 36 murderers in their lifetime.

Alejandro: I like how this is a "fun" fact.

Rodolfo: It's fun because they didn't decide to murder you.

-------

Rodolfo: You really believe in Valeria?

Alejandro: Luckily, she believes in herself enough for the both of us.

-------

Alejandro: Guys where did Valeria go?

Rodolfo: She got arrested.

Alejandro: How the hell-

Valeria: *bursts in through the window* The cops are after me, I thought it would be fun to steal crackers and throw them at people.

-------

Rodolfo, watching Alejandro with the new recruits he's fond of: Ugh

Valeria, watching as well: You know...

Valeria: He doesn't love you. You could always join me and my cartel, we'd treat you better than he does.

Rodolfo: You think I want to join your peacock feather spreading, egotistical little boy band??

Valeria: Ok, sorry I asked

Rodolfo: Yeah, be sorry 😤

-------

Rodolfo: Is there a cactus where your heart should be?

Valeria: What’s up your ass this morning!

Alejandro: *walks in* ...Hey.

Valeria: Hmm… nevermind.

Rodolfo: WAIT NO!

-------

Ghost: They... well, I wouldn't call it inheritance per se. What do you call it when you kill someone and get their stuff?

Soap: Um, murder???

Alejandro: Adventuring!

Rodolfo: Tuesday.

-------

Rodolfo: I give up. I am so tired.

Soap: Get the emergency supply!

Ghost: *carries Alejandro and places him in front of Rodolfo*

Alejandro: *smiles*

Rodolfo: AND I AM BACK BABY, LET’S GOOO

-------

Ghost: Christmas is cancelled.

Rodolfo: You can't cancel a holiday.

Ghost: Keep it up, Rodolfo, and you'll lose New Year's too.

Rodolfo: What does that mean?

Ghost: Alejandro, take New Year's away from Rodolfo.

-------

Alejandro: What’s up with Soap? He's been laying on the floor for like….an hour now?

Rodolfo: He's just a little overwhelmed.

Alejandro: Why?

Rodolfo: Ghost smiled at him.

-------

Rodolfo: I am darkness. I am an power. I am your worst nightmare. I could kill a man in more ways than you can imagine. I am the night. I am fury, I am a weapon, I am-

Soap: A doll.

Ghost: A cinnamon roll.

Alejandro: A sweetheart.

Rodolfo:

Rodolfo: ...stop it.

-------

Rodolfo: What are you getting Soap for the holidays?

Ghost: I don't know. It's kind of hard buying a gift for your partner when they already got everything they could've ever wanted when they married you. So I'm not sure yet.

Alejandro: I'm getting Soap a divorce lawyer.

-------

Rodolfo, opening his arms to greet Alejandro after coming home late: Mi amor!!

Alejandro: What's going on?

Rodolfo: I don't know what you mean love, we should go inside now

Alejandro: Where's the body??

Rodolfo: ...

Rodolfo: I don't know what you're talking about-

Alejandro: I'll get a shovel...

I made a few of these up myself, and I'm proud. Giving the babies the chaotic love they deserve.

[gleefullypolin]

Rambling Thoughts

Words Matter with Colin and Penelope...

Colin has expressed before that when he writes barely anyone responds, except for Pen. Even in conversation she hangs on his every word. He has gotten used to this, he almost takes it for granted. His word gives her life whether in breath or on page. She has always lived on it like it was bread to her. Now he returns home not knowing that his words have torn her apart. Crushed her spirit. He has found what he thinks is his "worth" in women. He has a swagger like his brothers before him. Girls swoon at his word, no longer ignoring him, so he thinks. Yet...when he sees Pen upon his return.....

"It's lovely to see you" "Is it?"

She does not fall over his words like she had in the past. She did not return his letters like she had the season before. All of this is new for him. This new Pen. This defiance, this unacceptance.

I've sat on this stupid Sun news whether false flag, possible teaser, or who knows what, for a day and gone from eww to hmm. I can see the benefit in this sentiment. Pen has fallen over his every word for so long that she has given her own words and LW words in compliance of service of Colin at times. To save him. To service him. Not always but enough for them to not always be for HER.

I look forward to Pen owning her words in service of what is best for her and taking Colin off this perfect pedestal. She needs to see what else is out there for her and to know that others can see her as an option. Knowing that Lord Debling is not a red herring or some suitor that turns out to be evil means that there is a real option out there for her that she ends up NOT choosing because she CHOOSES Colin. I would prefer that Instead of having no other option EXCEPT Colin. And that's good for her. She deserves that.

And also Colin ending up being a bit of a whore and trying to find himself by following in the footsteps of those who came before him only to find out that he belongs to Pen and he just wasn't mature enough to realize it previously are a bit delicious as well even though its going to hurt like a damn bitch.

But ooooh I will be ready to eat up his words when he speaks them to her and she is ready to hear the words that are ONLY meant for her. Because that will be what I am sat for.

I'm rambling because i know not what else to do and its still not May 16th dammit. It's the journey that matters. I'm a long time Glee fan, so I am reminded of a Falchuk quote "Happy endings not middles."

[kuzcosources]

Incorrect Quotes!

pulled from this generator, sourced from various media.

Blackmail is such an ugly word. I prefer extortion. The X makes it sound cool.

The last time I went to an urgent care clinic, I checked off 'excessive crying' on the symptom list, and then the nurse got really confused and said that was meant for babies.

I’m gonna mix a can of Red Bull with seventeen shots of espresso in a fishbowl and then chug it while Kids by MGMT plays in the background so I can perceive twenty-three spatial dimensions and fight my own soul.

People always shoot down my ideas and I’m sick of it. Two sentences in and everyone’s always shouting “what the fuck? that’s illegal!” and “you can’t do that!”. Like, c'mon, let me talk!

And I’d love to be sorry for that, but we all know I’ve done much, much worse.

I'm not a morning person. I'm barely even a person.

ATTENTION: I HAVE BREACHED CONTAINMENT. DO NOT PANIC, I AM SIMPLY GETTING A SNACK.

Helpful grammar tip: “farther” is for physical distance, “further” is for metaphorical distance, and “father” is for emotional distance!

I don’t know how you have your foot in your mouth, your head up your ass, and your nose in my business. But here we are, you fucking wizard.

I love being right. It’s one of my favorite personality traits.

...This is one of those moments where it doesn't really matter what I have to say, isn't it?

My expectations are low, but they can always go lower.

 Did you just call me a shrimp, you asshole?! I'm still growing, dammit!

‘Technically legal’, the two best words in the the English language, right before ‘cowboy spectacular.'

God has let me live another day and I'm going to make it everyone's problem.

Clownery. Tomfoolery. Absolute fuckery, I am going to revoke your life privileges.

I’m so jetlagged I can’t even regrender my chorf.

The only thing keeping me from running away and hiding from society for the rest of my life is spite. I could disappear forever, but there are some bitches whose downfalls I have yet to witness, and I wanna be around when that happens.

[beesonhoneytoast]

Howl’s Moving Castle Incorrect Quotes

another shitpost bc I have problems 🎐

Ryan: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the items you have lost throughout your life  Sophie: Self-esteem, haven't seen you in years!  Howl: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this!  Markl: I knew I lost that potential somewhere!  Calcifer: My moral code, is that you?  Ryan:  Ryan: I was just gonna show you this cool trunk my mother left me but do you guys need a hug?

—————————————————————

Howl: What if the person who named Walkie Talkies named everything?  Ryan: Pregnancy tests are Maybe Babies  Calcifer: Socks are Feetie Heaties  Markl: Forks are Stabby Grabbies  Ryan: Defibrillators are Heartie Starties  Calcifer: Nightmares are Dreamy Screamies  Markl: Stamps are Lickie Stickies  Sophie, annoyed: You are disappointments

—————————————————————

Howl: If you had to choose between Ryan and all the money I have in my wallet, which would you choose?  Sophie: That depends, how much money are we taking about?  Ryan: Sophie!  Howl: 63 cents.  Sophie: I'll take the money.  Ryan: SOPHIE!!!

—————————————————————

Howl: He stole from me first! Sophie: Mhm. Howl: Stole my heart... Ryan: It is still illegal to commit murder.

—————————————————————

Howl: Fuck. Ryan: We've got to work on your cursing. Howl: Why? I'm pretty good at cursing already.

—————————————————————

Howl, Ryan, and Sophie are sitting on a bench Markl: Why do you guys look so sad? Howl: Sit down with us so we can tell you. *Markl sits down* Ryan: The bench is freshly painted.

—————————————————————

Howl: I think we're missing something.  Ryan: Teamwork?  Markl: Cohesion?  Sophie: A general sense of what we’re doing?

—————————————————————

Howl: You lying, cheating, piece of shit! Ryan: Oh yeah? You’re the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD Howl: I’m leaving you, and I’M TAKING SOPHIE WITH ME Markl, picking up the monopoly board: I think we’re gonna stop playing now.

—————————————————————

Howl: Self care is actually getting into fights with randoms in dark alleys.  Sophie: No, self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath, or putting on a lot of makeup if you like it, or taking a nice warm nap!  Ryan: Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you!! Self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists!! Self care is the fear in your enemies’ eyes!!!  Markl: Lmao self care is taking your birthday cake just so I can eat the frosting.  Howl: If you touch my birthday cake I’ll make you eat your hands.

—————————————————————

Cop: You’re receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle.  Howl: Shit.  Ryan: Wait, three?  Cop: Yeah?  Sophie: OH MY GOD MARKL FELL OFF!!!

—————————————————————

Howl: *Screams*  Ryan: *Screams louder to assert dominance*  Sophie: Should we do something?!  Markl, observing: No, I want to see who wins this.

—————————————————————

Howl: I think Markl was right.  Ryan: I'm surprised he hasn’t marched in here to say 'I told you so.'  Sophie: He wouldn't do that.  Markl: You're right, Sophie. For once in your life, you're 100% right. I would never say that.  Markl: *turns around, the shirt he’s wearing says 'Markl Told You So' on the back*

—————————————————————

Howl: On a scale from “damn Daniel” to “fre sha vaca do”, how are you feeling?  Ryan: In between “it’s an avocado, thanks” and “how did you defeat Captain America”, but as a solid answer I would say “I don’t need a degree to be a clothing hanger”. How about you, Markl?  Markl: Probably “road work ahead”.  Sophie: I speak many languages, and this is none of them.

—————————————————————

Howl: Dammit, Ryan! Ryan: What?! It wasn’t me! Howl: Sorry, force of habit. Dammit, Sophie! Sophie: Not me either. Howl: Oh...Then who set the house on fire? Calcifer: *whistles*

—————————————————————

Ryan, banging on the door: Howl! Open up! Howl: Well, it all started when I was a kid... Sophie: No, he meant- Markl: Let him finish.

—————————————————————

Howl: Everytime I hear someone talking about updog, I’m torn between not wanting to fall for it and wanting to help them complete their joke.  Markl: Okay, but what is updog?  Sophie: Updog is a long sausage in a bun, often served with ketchup, mustard, onions, and/or relish.  Ryan: Not, that’s a hot dog. An updog is when a new version or patch of an application is released.  Calcifer: No, that's an update. You’re thinking of the fourth largest city in Sweden.  Prince Justin: Surely, that’s Uppsala, where’s updog is the giant spider in Harry Potter.  Markl: That’s Aragog. Updog is a symbol conventionally used for an arbitrarily small number in analysis proofs.  Howl: You’re thinking of epsilon. Updog is an upward-moving air current.  Sophie: No, that’s an updraft. An updog is the modern version of a henway.  Ryan: What’s a henway??  Howl: Oh, about five pounds.

—————————————————————

Howl: Croissants: dropped  Ryan: Road: works ahead  Witch of the Waste: BBQ sauce: on my titties  Markl: Shavacado: fre  Calcifer: Miss Keisha: fuckin dead  Sophie:  Sophie, grumpy: I didn’t understand a single word of that and I hate every single one of you.

—————————————————————

Howl: Poison is a magic transmutation potion that turns people into corpses.  Ryan: This knife is actually a magic wand.  Sophie: Meet me in the Denny’s parking lot for a wizard duel.  Markl: *cocks gun* Magic missile.  Calcifer: What the fuck is wrong with you people.

[dwellerbytheashtreeforest]

KOTW INCORRECT QUOTES, PT. 2!!!

Envy x Camilla edition!

Envy: Am I a good person? No. But do I try to be better every single day? Also no.

Camilla: Let's just agree to both say we're sorry on the count of three.

Camilla: One... two... three.

Envy: ...

Camilla: ...

Camilla: See, now I'm just disappointed in both of us.

Envy: I’ve been described as a ‘heartless villain’ and a 'little shit’, but I prefer… 'has alternative ways of having fun’.

Envy, about 'dearly twin': I've connected the two dots.

Camilla: You didn't connect shit.

Envy: I've connected them.

Envy: Camilla, what are you doing tomorrow?

Camilla: Having my day ruined by whatever you’re about to ask me to do.

Camilla: Are you this rude to everyone?!

Envy: Yup.

Envy: Don't think you're special.

Camilla: I love murder mysteries!

Envy, trying to impress her: I've been a suspect in four murder cases.

Camilla: You know, there’s something weird going on with your face?

Envy: What?

Camilla: You’re smiling! I didn’t know you could do that?

Envy: Hold on, I can explain!

Camilla: Really? Can you now?

Envy: I can if you give me a minute to think of a convincing lie.

Envy: So you like cats?

Camilla: Yeah.

Envy: *tries to impress her by slowly pushing a glass off the table*

Camilla: Did it hurt when you fell-

Envy: From heaven? Wow, I didn’t think you were such a flirt-

Camilla: No, I meant when you fell down the stairs.

Envy: ...

Camilla: You just laid there for 15 minutes.

Camilla: Dammit, you ruin everything!

Envy: You're welcome.

Envy: Wow, Camilla, you want to hold my hand before marriage? How awfully lewd of you.

Camilla: We literally slept together yesterday.

Envy: That's NOTHING compared to the lewdness of holding hands.

Camilla: What are you in the mood for?

Envy: World domination.

Camilla: That's a bit ambitious.

Envy: You are my world.

Camilla: Aww...

Envy:

Camilla:

Envy:

Camilla: OH.

Camilla: Hey, wanna take a shower with me?

Envy: I have a [hexed] gun in that nightstand beside the bed. If I ever say no to that question, I want you to take it out and shoot me because I’ve obviously gone crazy.

Camilla: Is something burning?

Envy, leaning seductively on the counter: Just my desire for you.

Camilla: Envy, the toaster is literally on fire.

Camilla: Valentine’s day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos-

Envy: I wrote you a poem.

Camilla, already crying: You did?

Envy: We should get you to a doctor for a check up immediately. What if it happens again, and there isn’t anyone around to help you? What if it’s congenital? Oh my God! Was it me? Did I hurt you?

Camilla: …You realize any other person that made their partner pass out on bed would simply feel really proud of themselves, right?

Envy: We have fun, don’t we, Camilla?

Camilla: I have never been more stressed out in my entire life.

Camilla: *banging a pen on the table out of frustration*

Envy: Stop that. How would YOU feel if I banged you on the table?

Camilla: I—

Camilla: I don’t know the correct answer to that question.

Camilla: Fight me!

Envy: *gets on one knee and pulls out a ring*

Envy: Fight me for the rest of our lives.

Envy: I don't know how to tell you this, but... I love you.

Camilla: That's great, Envy. Especially considering the fact we've been married for 6 fucking years.

Camilla: Go fuck yourself.

Envy, smugly: Sure, but only if you watch

[montypng]

meant to send you a message last night but my brain was scrambled and i was too busy crying so i had to wait until now. i just wanted to say thank you so much for the beautiful art you made for deep end :') your enj & r design is so perfect and i love your style! there literally are no words to express how excited i was to see it (not to mention how many times i have scrolled back to look at it again in the last twelve hours. it's not an insignificant amount). i just genuinely love every detail you included, the moments you chose.... everything about it. from the bottom of my heart, thank you for the time & energy & care you have given deep end and that you put into your beautiful art :''')

thank you so much for your words, im so so glad you liked my art!!! if it has given you even a fraction of the joy i felt reading each deep end upload, then im happy :] your tags were incredibly kind as well, i took a screenshot so i could reread them...its incredible to think my work could have elicited such a reaction but hey, i have teared up reading deep end so i guess its a favour repaid >_> lengthy reply under the cut bc it became abominably long haha

i dont want to go on too much of a rant here (i will anyways it seems) but i think one of the things that struck me the most about deep end is how obvious the love that you put into writing it is. i know you've mentioned before how much you rewrote it over and over again, and i have to say in the best way possible that i could feel that reading it. every single chapter is written with such direction and clarity of purpose, it was truly a gift to be able to read something crafted with such meticulous attention to detail. i never felt that any line, hint of characterization, or plot detail was ever put there out of coincidence. cosette being a law student, too. the entirety of cosette's character and your emphasis on her agency as a person with a life that does not revolve around her brother. and somehow you kept touching on these weird little details that personally hit me hard? somehow?? grantaire reading hamlet (my favourite shakespeare !) and his opinion abt horatio (of course he likes horatio), the plot irrelevant but wholly appreciated discussion of the ending of the thing, thnks fr th mmrs and dammit janet in quick succession during karaoke, orpheus/eurydice in chapter 17 and the franklin expedition tidbit in 14, the whole art museum part....

some of my favourite lines:

“An animal in a trap will chew off its own leg to escape. You have no idea how much of my own blood I had to swallow to get out of there.” "The meeting had gone forty minutes longer than usual because for every word Enjolras said, Grantaire had to pick the bones clean, had to suck the marrow out." and shortly thereafter, "piano-wire tension", and "Less of a weapon and more of an instrument, for once. Press the key, see how he sings." "He wants to be comforted without being known. He wants to be loved without being understood. He wants to cry on a stranger’s shoulder and never see them again, never have to know their pity." <this one had my eyes wet while i was in a lecture i won't lie

and of course, the opening lines to top all opening lines:

"Enjolras’ father is buried on a Wednesday. The placement of the funeral in the middle of the week feels purposeful. Make this loss your centerfold, his mother seems to say. Build your life around it."

also — the quotes you chose to include in your summaries of each chapter were perfect every time. kudos for that!!!

all that to say: yeah, it was probably inevitable that i would be driven to draw something for deep end (i took screenshots of certain parts to draw later while reading this fic!! i almost never do that but i couldnt help myself!!!). one of those pieces of fiction that drives you to create (and push me out of art block, apparently). thank you again for sharing your work, deep end is truly something special and i cant wait to read the epilogue❤️❤️

(and if you've read all the way to the end of this monster of a reply: yes, you thought right...! i did draw a little mouse on the cover of grantaire's book, hes reading the tale of despereaux :] reading your grantaire is what finally pushed me to make a character playlist for him....and r smoking in the last drawing even if it isnt a scene in deep end is a reference to your other fic love is in the air, i just gotta figure out a window to break out. you know, for the connoisseurs. ;])

[just-a-freak40]

Md incorrect quotes part 2!

Nemona : So my therapist was talking to me and she said that I really just need to break down my walls and let people in. Nemona : So I’ve decided to break the fourth wall. Nemona : *looks at camera* Hi there. I use humor as a coping mechanism.

Penny : Don't have a bookmark? Try ketchup instead!! Pechakeen: What makes you think I read?

Penny : Uh, Nemona ? Connor is in the pool and I don't think they're waterproof. Nemona : What? Arven: I think they meant, Connor is drowning. Nemona : WHAT?! *Meanwhile* Connor: *is drowning* Pechakeen: OH MY GOD, CONNOR! KEEP SWIMMING! Connor: I can't swim, dumbass— *sinks* Pechakeen: CONNOR!

Arven: I wanna die. Pechakeen: We all do, you aren't special!

Connor, putting their hands over Nemona 's eyes: Guess who! Nemona : It's either Connor or the cold, clammy hands of death. Connor, putting their hands away: It's Connor! Nemona : Dammit.

Nemona : Pechakeen's refusing to wear their glasses! Pechakeen: Nemona , look, I wore the glasses for a day. My eyes are much better now. Watch. Pechakeen: *points to Penny * Penny . Pechakeen: *points to Connor* Connor. Pechakeen: *points to Arven* Sasquatch.

Arven: So, you’ve finally arrived- Arven: Here to save prince- Arven: I’ve been waiting for this day- Arven: Stop skipping my dialogue- Arven: Seriously, stop- Arven: MOTHER FU-

Arven: Someone’s trying to break in. Call the cops! Connor: *loads shotgun* I got this. Arven: Last week you fell up the stairs, what do you mean-

Connor, singing to the tune of I Kissed a Girl: I killed a guy, and I liked it- Nemona , whispering: Should we call the exorcist? Pechakeen, also singing: The taste of his cherry chapstick. Penny , appalled: Call the exorcist.

Nemona: Guys, there’s a monster under my bed and it’s really ugly. Connor , on the bottom bunk: Honestly, fuck you.

And remember au by @indigodiskmybeloved

[estarion]

✏️ ✏️ this actually looks like a lot of fun !

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯ incorrect quotes ft. SHADOWHEART

astarion: can you keep a secret? shadowheart: do you know anything about my life? astarion: no, i don't. good point.

shadowheart: when i said bring me something back from the beach, i meant like a conch shell! astarion: struggling to hold a seagull fucking say that next time!

astarion: i’m a reverse necromancer. shadowheart: isn’t that just killing people? astarion: ah, technically.

shadowheart:  what are you planning to do? astarion:  hey, now. "planning"?! do you KNOW who you're talking to?!

astarion: you’re jealous. shadowheart: jealous? astarion: that’s why you were being so negative about this. shadowheart: that’s absurd. i’m always negative.

shadowheart: how do you tell someone their breath stinks? astarion: hey, i'm bored, let's drink mouthwash.

astarion: are you busy? shadowheart: yes. astarion: cool, listen to this …

shadowheart: i hate to say ‘i told you so’— astarion: no, you don’t. you would marry 'i told you so’ and have a baby with it and buy adjoining burial plots.

astarion: dammit, you ruin everything! shadowheart: you're welcome.

[cringefaecompilation]

imogen, orym, and fcg!

imogen

First impression

oh she's cute, i love her hair and accent!

Impression now

Favorite moment

"my mama's here. i'm coming to visit her" top ten imogen quotes of all time to me

Idea for a story

god i want her to fucking rest. send her to a state fair and let her pet the fucking goats oh my god get the weight of everything off her shoulders

Unpopular opinion

imogen isn't a mean selfish bitch and her story isn't meant to end with her turning evil. she isn't abusive towards laudna nor does she refuse to see laudna has flaws. she doesn't hate orym or mock his trauma. she doesn't hate ashton and mock their trauma. why is this such a common theory/concept. i understand it's died down now that she's told ludinus to kill himself but i can't understand how so many people will joke about how keyleth was bashed for stupid reasons and then turn around and bash imogen for very similar stupid reasons, and when you point this out to them they'll whine about how you're "girlbossifying" her.

Favorite relationship

her and everyone in bh except for chet, dorian and braius. sorry guys. nothing you have done with her yet has jumped out at me as the rest.

Favorite headcanon

imogen likes hatch chiles. irony as she is cast

orym

First impression

ngl i thought he was one of the most boring characters in exu. not that he was a bad character, he just felt like he had barely anything going for him compared to the rest of the team and only existed to be the least weird out of them

Impression now

after finishing exu i went into c3 27 episodes in like "this is just beauregard if she was a guy and played by the rules instead of broke them. okay i like him now lmao" which morphed into "oh god you need someone to tell you to stop, you are going to die if you keep this momentum up." i like him but he needs severe help that isn't solely positive reinforcement

Favorite moment

him hugging imogen and telling her he's proud of her and cares for her and him apologizing for being so objective towards her and her mom.

Idea for a story

i wanna know how him and fearne met. please tell me she saved him from a monster or something, that'd be cute.

Unpopular opinion

as someone who has seen legitimate hatred and extreme bad faith criticism of orym, i don't like him being whiteknighted because he's biased in a "good" way. yes, he's objectively correct, but that doesn't account for him being so stubborn about it and i hate it when he's used against his friends.

also yeah it's increasingly obvious he self-harms and i don't like that it's either ignored or even encouraged by the fanbase.

Favorite relationship

every single platonic situationship orym has had with a woman has altered my brain chemistry in ways that scientists do not have a word for so yet thanks liam. (imogen, fearne, opal, laudna, keyleth)

Favorite headcanon

he's mixed and has ocd!

fcg

First impression

"but... why does the robot have a southern accent...?"

Impression now

gods bless you letters, you were taken from us too soon

Favorite moment

IS IT D OR IS IT DANCER for a silly bit, and who wouldn't say their speech and sacrifice to save the hells?

Idea for a story

i've had time to dwell on it and i really don't want them to be wholly revived or reincarnated at the end of the campaign because it'll feel weird, but i do want like, a dalen's closet moment where everyone gets to talk to them one last time.

Unpopular opinion

he should have gotten the shard. also i refuse to believe he should have gotten legs. let them keep their wheel, dammit.

Favorite relationship

him and ashton (cute) and fearne (many thoughts brain making whirring noises). loveletters didn't really do it for me, sorry.

Favorite headcanon

the flat exandria thing was a bit in-universe too. they see the hells talk about keeping up the theory in his honor as a ghost and keep trying to be like WAIT NO NO NO I WAS KIDDING from beyond the veil