#i mean. i probably won't DIE | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

naomiknight-17 · 3 months ago

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Going to the doc and back involved ~20 minutes of walking and my legs are aching soooo bad

I have cardiac rehab tomorrow. Which involves not only getting to and from the hospital (another tidy 20 minutes of walking) but also resistance training and walking laps

I am going to die

#i mean. i probably won't DIE #but i am anticipating being in a lot of pain. like. a whole lot T__Y #*T__T #on the plus side i did convince my doc to increase my nerve pain meds a bit so maybe that will start to help #but. ow #mod post #health stuff #chronic pain #medical stuff #cardiac rehab

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tadc-harlequin-au · 2 months ago

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He probably hid her sword somewhere she can't reach (the top shelf)

#tadc #tadc au #harlequin au #tadc harlequin au #the amazing digital circus #pomni #caine #caine x pomni #pomni x caine #tadc showtime #showtime shipping #showtime #kinda lmfao #he won't die. probably #I mean it's a metaphorical thread #he's being strangled with love <3

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maudiemoods · 10 months ago

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Aight I feel like I should go ahead and officially say this! I probably won't be drawing much of sun and moon anymore! I'll still reblog art and fics of them but I will no longer be a creator! Just a consumer!

#i thought id be obsessed till the day i die #i do still love fnaf a whole bunch #i think ive just drawn everything i want to see for sun and moon? when i try to draw them it just feel repetitive??#guys watch me draw them as soon as i post this im gonna lose it #i just had the sudded urge to draw them #but for real thanks for everyone for following 🥹 especially the people who interact with my post #the past two years have been the online experience i had dreamed for! lots of support and interest in my art! means a lot to me #ren won't shut up #I'll probably occasionally draw them but I have new interests now ❤️#my life is a lime green jeep (that's a metaphor)

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someobscurereference · 4 days ago

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Insane over the awakening trio again. We fought a war together, saved each other multiple times, and I know for a fact I can trust you with my life. We have never learned to socialize normally so we can't interact in a normal environment for five seconds without dunking on each other. I would follow you through time and space and abandon everything with you. You are the living reminder of every awful thing that have ever happened to me. Our traumas make us hurt each other at every turn. We're the only ones who know what lead to each other becoming Like That. Our jobs are barely in the same area and we don't even hang out that much outside of necessities. You are all I have left. I cannot fucking understand you. I am the only one in this entire world who has the ability to even try to.

x

#my text #asks #fe13 #This ask is so good I wanna publish it first without any of my commentary and then i'll rb it with my own comments later #this is just fun to read #thinking of this line in particular:#'Our jobs are barely in the same area and we don't even hang out that much outside of necessities. '#i don't show it enough in my fics because a lot of my fics are fates focused or au focused for convenience sake so i want the awakening tri #to be hanging out way more and have had their growth but canonically before awakening they really like. Do Not Associate.#i think of this for so many of the awakening kids in general but like. they all travel through time together. they go through something lik #the future past DLC together. their lives depend on each other so much. most of them cannot stand each other.#inigo and owain Do Not fucking get along and never have really until fates when they're both adults and even then they're ribbing each othe #there's no doubt to me that they have gotten into a physical fight at least once before. or they avoid each other and are extremely rude #when forced to work together outside life or death scenarios. especially pre-awakening.#in their supports owain tries to be nice to severa repeatedly and she goes out of her way to be extra rude to the point #that he has a crises about being weird. and even if their s support isnt' canon #severa notes that owain was always nice to her and she struggled with being nice back throughout their lives #inigo and severa don't get along either. inigo is trying to be “nice”/build his confidence of talking to others with compliments #but he's genuinely condescending and quite rude and doesn't listen to severa telling him to stop talking to her like that.#note: severa actively goes out of her way to be mean to a lot of people back then. she's not easy to get along with.#(interestingly she tells noire she only does this to take people down a peg and doesn't do it to people with no self esteem like noire.#(similar to niles in a way. to be explored later.)#These people are Not Close and they are not each other's first choices to hang out. and they probably were aware of each other in #childhood but much more aware when they're older. owain's childhood friends were probably the Justice Cabal.#severa canonically hung with noire tot he point where noire grew up relying on her. i suspect she hung with the girls most of all #inigo... i'm not sure he has any close childhood friends. which could be attributed to maybe (a) living in Regna Ferox with Olivia #if you believe they went with basilio after the first war #or maybe learning early on to hide his real self early on so he never lets anyone get close. he clearly Cares about everyone in a #'won't let anyone die if he can help it/won't let them die alone (gerome/owain)' kind of way #but is he Close with them? I don't think so. not until Awakening and he has A supports

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suddencolds · 5 months ago

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.~

#not a vent just a journal entry (feel free to scroll past; there is no snz here and this is also not that interesting)#realizing now that i never thought of myself as #someone whose absence would register to others in any other way than just neutral/detached recognition?#phrasing this really badly and i am truly going to delete this later bc it is embarrassing LOL #i think when i was young and posting all this fic into questionable places (the f*rum) i was like #(@ an unfinished work of mine) no way anyone could be bothered by these cliffhangers 👍 they can just imagine the ending #even though i would frequently be bothered by other people's cliffhangers. that exact same principle just wouldn't apply to me in my head #and when i did not respond to people i was like.. i'm sure i wasn't really an important part of their lives so they won't mind it #if i stepped away?#i never really entertained the concept of people missing me or looking forward to my responses 😭 i never thought of myself as someone worth #missing... so when i disappeared it was always with little to no sense of guilt. i think even now i struggle with #seeing myself as someone that inhabits like a tangible enough space in other people's lives that my absence would be felt #(and i don't mean that in a morbid way. and i do recognize that it's quite hypocritical)#on the flipside of things i frequently miss people and look forward to their responses. and sometimes i wonder like #do they all know? do they all know that i miss them because they somehow understand this aspect of human nature better than i do?#or are they in the dark like i am? are these things assumed or are they only known when they are said... 😭#i am a little bit of a coward so i am not saying anything (also because can you even say this kind of thing to someone??#i would probably die of embarrassment) but #how strange it is to have someone suddenly inhabit a space in your life that is substantial enough that #when they're gone you feel that space open up and you miss them #the few times in my life people have conveyed that sentiment to me i remember feeling puzzled that my presence could have that kind of #weight to them. i think my problem is that i purposefully do not read between the lines if the conclusion is something favorable towards me #because i don't want to bank on something good that might or might not be true 😭 anyways this is way too long already. if you read this #then good morning or goodnight

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formulatrash · 6 months ago

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acc gonna throw myself off something if the pub manager does not put on another staff member for Sunday night ffs it's me and literally ONE other person in a 350 person capacity, quite violent pub and the other person isn't really bar trained/needs a lot of help are you FUCKING JOKING for the Euros final with fucking England in it

#🔪 I mean I will probably cope #but someone's going to die and it won't be me!!!!!#also on a serious note violence against hospitality workers goes up nearly 30% if England lose #so like: be fucking nice to the people serving you if you're in a pub that night

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caffeinatedopossum · 1 year ago

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I think I know now what it is about life that makes it worth living and I hate that I can't tell anyone. I can't write it down for me to reread when I forget because it's... just a feeling. And maybe you aren't supposed to be able to put that into words or hold onto it. You just have to trust that you'll feel it again

#im crying and i probably sound insane talking about the meaning of life on tumblr dot com #but i am insane! and im completely serious #im so glad im alive..im so glad i didnt kill myself. im so glad im here right now still feeling things i dont understand #i know im only 20 and i know this life has more to offer but... i get the feeling ill have had enough at just the right time #i hope i get to die old and happt #and before that i hope i get to experience... well. everything #i know i won't. but ill know when ive experienced *my* everything. when im ready to die it wont feel like this #which means im not ready to die yet #what a silly thing to feel liberated by questions most people may never ask themselves

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eggmeralda · 7 months ago

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do you ever feel casually suicidal? like you're not depressed or anything you're doing fine but also it feels like a convenient option

#if you can't make connections with people or be seen by anyone then like. at least you can feel like you're helping a better cause #to like charities and gfms and anyone else #but you have to tone that down bc you're slowly losing money bc you still can't get a job #and bc you don't have a job it means you're just stuck in the house all day. which gives Way Too Much opportunity to Think about everything #and also so like. i still share a room with my sister but it was fine bc she'd stay at her bf's a few nights a week #but he's got a job that's a bit further away and basically she can't go round his as much. so now it's maybe like once a week #the room is getting messier so it gives me less energy to do anything #you can get really into an unhealthy weight loss obsession bc at least it feels like you're getting towards something #but idek is set weight theory real? bc once i get down to a certain point it suddenly resets #like honestly counting calories and donating money to every gfm i saw and writing a film script was what kept me going #but first one isn't working and second i need some sort of income and third is finished and i have no way of actually creating it #and then there's the whole lack of stable hyperfixation and ability to find new music i enjoy #and realistically what would fix me is having a good job that i enjoy and somewhere to live on my own #but until i get a job that's currently impossible. and even then it probably won't feel like enough #my entire life is lived on my phone i need more physical objects but i don't have enough space #bc i share a room with my sister. it's like all my problems are connected #and i have enough optimism that i still think it'll get better in the next few weeks. maybe i'll be able to get a job and that'll #get everything going again #but at the same time i could easily just die #I've graduated from uni. I've seen the who live 3 times. I've crashed my car twice. I've watched 30 years of corrie. I've met various dogs #what else is there to do with my life honestly #(<- joking)#but yeah like. in summer 2021 i almost got suicidal (it was just letting the occasional thought linger in my mind etc)#but that was bc i was so depressed #but now it feels like i could just kill myself. but more just out of convenience #idek. i'm not gonna kill myself. bc i have a job interview on tuesday. and just in general i won't #but there is this casual feeling of like. well i might as well. i can't describe it #ramble #suicide tw #weight loss mention

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heretherebedork · 1 year ago

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If the implication here is that they might be half siblings or related in some way... I am going to laugh forever and enjoy myself so, so much.

#playboyy #playboyy the series #bl drama #bl series #thai series #thaibl #asianlgbtqdramas #thai drama #asian lgbtq dramas #thai bl #thai bl drama #thai bl series #omfg please make them related #i mean they won't be probably #but seriously i would die laughing

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alisterix · 2 years ago

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Now my question is. Does Cacophonix's reputation as the ultimate gaylord precede him. Does anyone outside of the village know him as Mr. Gay. Is he like Lil Nas X where gays all around the. Area. Look up to him as the gay icon that he is.

Thank you kindly, I LOVE getting asks from you cause they are a perfect excuse for me to draw Cacofonix, and if there's one thing in this fandom I love drawing as much as Gaylois, it's Cacofonix. Here's a little comic inspired by your question since I can't help myself:

I can easily imagine Cacofonix on a big trip, having fun and indulging all of the opportunities and glamour of city life, making friends (lovers? possibly? 😳) easily, courtesy of his charismatic and pleasant demeanor (at least as long as he doesn't try to sing). People obviously aren't fans of his musical talent, or rather a lack thereof, but whenever a stranger happens to recognize him and call him by name he tends to immediately jump to that conclusion and brag about it to his fellow village folks, who clearly aren't buying it, lmao. Admittedly, at the end of the day, being appreciated and recognized for being entertaining, pretty and gay rather than for your art is not the worst position to be in, so he does take it for what it is, though not without a healthy dose of fussing about constantly, no matter where he goes, being "strangely surrounded by people who don't seem to understand art".

Funny that you mention Lil Nas X cause I just made a playlist with my favourite bardcore covers in honor of Cacofonix the Ultimate Gaylord™ and Montero is the first song on it.

#asterix #cacofonix #cacophonix #assurancetourix #my art #the sweet homosexual tension of a man piercing your ears in exchange for a date #listen... this is a sfw blog so we won't be discussing Cacofonix's jolly good big city gay time in great detail #it does make me admittedly uncomfortable to think adult stuff about a childhood nostalgia comic... BUT #if I had to choose one character who fucks it would be Cacofonix #I could probably make up a whole story about Cacofonix and his mysterious Lutetian admirer but I have a Gaylois wedding to attend to #and by that I mean I'm gonna make Gaylois wedding fanart in response to an ask I got #lmfao the way Asterix gives him a rude awakening and Cacofonix throws shade at him in return is sending me #what does he know about charm??? I dunno man maybe ask Obelix since he's clearly happily married #they are both such gay disasters #they give me strong gay besties/mlm solidarity vibes #but also it's a great ship imo #I'm all ride or die for Gaylois but if you see my art of Asterix and Cacofonix as shippy I won't stop you #I will encourage you even #it's my second favourite Asterix ship and I'm planning to draw some cute stuff with them every now and then #I wonder if they have a ship name #asterfonix?#I like that #anyway Cacofonix with piercings am I right 😳😳😳

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godhex · 2 months ago

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i think whoever invented money as a concept needs to be thrownn into a fire. btw.

#leech.txt #happy halloween. i get to pick a new bank and hope the collectors don't hunt me down #and by pick i mean whichever one has the weakest overdraft fees and won't bully me for not having a stable income #can't suggest being poor to anyone. absolute zero outta ten experience.#something something i would rather die than take on more work but i dont have a choice something something #anyways i'll go back to being silly tomorrow probably. i just need to survive to the weekend and get blasted.#<- thing that is not coping well #[punching the floor] I JUST NEED TO GET HIGH. I JUST NEED TO GET HIGH AGAIN. THIS TIME IT'LL FIX ME I PROMISE.

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angorwhosebabyisthis · 11 months ago

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i want to go ahead and write up A Whole Thing about how ricky's arc ultimately comes down to 'protect what's yours,' in a way that tbh manages to be kind of the opposite of the toxic masculinity that trope tends to embody in western media especially. but also it relies on several other major essays about the themes in this show that i need to write up first to tie them all together with it. ashdjsjdjdh. Help

#SDMItag #ricky owens #i'll probably try writing it up for now and then see which things it does turn out i'll need to establish first #but the tl;dr is that ~protect what's yours like a man~ tropes are all about Defending Your Assets from Outside Forces with Violence(tm)#and ricky's 'protect what's yours' is about love as in loyalty as in setting down your stake Here #committing yourself to the wellbeing of whoever or whatever you've chosen; being a support for them to grow and be safe and be free #'yours' as in your family your community your work your activism the things you've built #instead of 'yours' meaning 'i have the right to destroy this and exploit it and throw it away as i please. it's there for me to take from'#it's 'i have a duty; and that duty is not synonymous with Violence; it can be feeding and healing the people you love'#'it can be putting your foot down and removing someone's access to a person or thing you've chosen when they're exploiting them/it'#'it can be *refusing* to do violence'#it's 'you chose me and you were supposed to love me and instead you treated me like a thing that exists for you to use and ruin'#'well i wasn't. i'm not. and i'm going to be what i needed you to be and you weren't'#'i refuse to hurt what's mine for my own gain because i can and i won't let you do it either'#it fucking kills me and it makes what pericles does to him and forces him to do in retaliation that much more fucking tragic #there's so much dude oh my god #kill me #professor pericles #dyn: when i die i want you to die too #abuse cw

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cryptids · 1 year ago

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Guys tumblr isn't going to be deleted....!! 😭 a skeleton crew is just the bare minimum amount of staff required to run the website. It will still be here and it will still have staff/people working on the site, just a lot less of them

#it probably just means moderation and updates etc. will slow down and won't be adding any more new features #it might start to have more problems and die slowly over time #but there's no urgency or threat of your blogs being suddenly deleted anytime in the near future #that said I do think its a real shame that a site full of so much art and internet history is at risk of being abandoned just bc #its not making a profit though.... capitalism sucks so hard and it makes me sad to think of having to leave someday #but I think a lot of people are pre-emptively panicking when nothing has happened yet djhfjs #🐊

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heartshattering · 3 months ago

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My mom is like "You don't need both the TV and the radio turned on :/" like she doesn't understand that the whole point is that the inside of my head is so loud that the only way to fight the 'inside loudness' is with 'outside loudness' but :') this is fine I'll just keep going insane :') no need to worry about me :')

#I took my meds so hopefully that helps dial down the inner loudness a bit but I'm not optimistic tbh #if I'm too worked up then they don't work as well on me #idk why I just feel like I've been going crazy all day long!!!!#I'm losing my grip on things and everything feels wrong and fake #I feel so bad both physically and mentally #I'm really hoping it's just from not getting my injection yet and it'll all go away once I get it again #but I mean it's true I'm also mentally ill so idk?#for sure it's been feeling even worse than usual for me though and idk why that would randomly be happening now #and like. 2 severe headaches a day every day is not normal for me #waking up panicked from vivid nightmares literally EVERY night is not normal for me #I am extremely exhausted both physically and mentally and literally do nothing but still feel like shit #I get headaches when I wake up but they usually go away but the ones I've had recently are debilitating and won't stop #like I had to skip an online meeting because one had me feeling so terrible I just couldn't power through #I keep feeling like I'm going to die like just drop dead finally #even though that's illogical but it's how my body is making me feel #idk it just sucks #kind of tempted to ask on reddit about it but like #people go on there to share the worst of their experiences and I have enough health related phobias already #I did enough skimming to find out that it probably *is* from missing my injection though #ughhfuhfh

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daz4i · 4 months ago

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i took a shower i ate i'm trying to distract myself. so why am i still so sad that i can't think

#probably lack of sleep but i doubt my body will allow me to fall asleep anytime soon lol 🥲#even tho i'm so tired ugh #main reason i can't distract myself is my brain is too tired to focus on anything lmao #had a rough meeting with my social worker today so that's probably why i feel extra bad #was reminded of how much i am just. unable to be alive. a functioning person. a person at all #so i am once again in my usual 'why am i even bothering with anything when i won't be able to live a fulfilling life no matter what'#what they don't tell you about 'a better life is possible' is that better doesn't necessarily mean good #it just means less bad. which. when things are extremely bad. doesn't say much #man can someone shoot me like asap. i need to die. why am i alive. etc etc you already heard all that shit before #vent #negative //#suicide //

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no-place-to-be-happy · 5 months ago

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I'm so confused about Wick, Zib and Mitzi's relationship lol

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