#i mean. i could probably make it work this year but i also rly want to do Nico's escape b4 outfit

[heartsoji]

falling in love with your roommate, suna rintaro

roommates to lovers

a/n: i haven't read the manga so i don't rly know anything abt rin's fam situation - sorry if any info is incorrect loll also this is more of like a college au?? idk if rin went to college but here it is

a/n pt. 2: i kinda switch between using rin and suna sorry

"rintaro!"

"what?"

"aren't you tired of living in my home, still? you're 21! i'm sure all of your friends have moved out already, right? most of them probably moved out at 18, but you haven't budged an inch!" mrs. suna scolded.

"yeah, yeah, pipe down, mom. i'll move out soon, i promise."

"no! it was fine that you stayed home for your freshman year of college, and i thought that you'd start being independent for your sophomore year, but you're still completely dependent on us! you don't cook, buy groceries, clean, or do any work around here! what are you going to do when you've graduated and you don't know how to run a washing machine?"

"yes, yes, i'm sorry."

"and i was very understanding of the fact that you didn't want to move into a dorm, but aren't you tired of commuting hours away when you could just get a closer apartment?"

"mhm, mhm."

she sighed. "rintaro, you know im only saying this because i care about you. i want you to be independent and strong, you know?"

"yep. i just booked an apartment tour via online."

"and i- huh?"

yeah.

soon after he decided the apartment was in good enough condition to be living in, he rented it out and moved in.

on his moving day, he met you.

"hi! you're.. suna rintaro, right? sorry i wasn't there on your tour day. i'm your new roommate, l/n! nice to meet you." you said, a friendly smile on your features.

stoically, suna replied, "good to meet you."

at first, you and suna kinda kept to yourselves. you were polite to each other, of course, but there wasn't much talking, only coexisting.

that is, until you discovered his grocery bills.

"$18... you've been surviving on $18?!" you looked at him in shock.

"yeah. is that weird?"

"damn right it is! what are you even buying?"

"well.. i don't know how to cook anything, so i mostly order door dash. my grocery bill is from instant ramen, chuppets, eggs, and milk."

you stare at him blankly.

"you've been eating nothing but door dash, instant ramen, candy, eggs, and milk for the past 2 months?"

"yeah."

this guy.

he just stands there awkwardly at you laugh at him.

from then on, you two become closer.

you taught him basic recipes to make using groceries you taught him to buy, (imagine his shock when his bill came out to be like $60.. and you were like "bro that's normal") you taught him how to use a washing machine, ("oh, so you put the detergent in this compartment..") etc. just basic household chores, but he was so impressed.

eventually, you two stopped being friendly roommates and just became friends.

he was a good listener. you'd rant to him about your problems, no matter how insignificant, and he'd listen to you carefully, and you never felt like your problems were stupid whenever you talked to him.

you two started hanging out a lot. you'd study together at cafes, go to amusement parks on weekends, and just chill at home together.

and as much as you hated to admit it, you had started developing feelings for your roomie.

i mean, how could you not? he was tall, handsome, kind, funny, cheeky, and it certainly helped that you got to see him all tired in the mornings.

you didn't really know if he felt the same way, but if he did, he was a real bitch, because at some point, your relationship became kind of flirty, and he'd give you butterflies on a daily basis.

you two would watch scary movies and he'd let you cling to him, giving your terrified features a teasey smile every now and then.

he'd walk around the apartment with his toned abs out, and his sweats dangerously low on his hips.

when you guys went on walks, he'd give you his hoodie if it got cold.

whenever you'd go on long rants, he'd just stare at your face with love in his eyes. "and then i-what is it, rin?" "nothing, pretty."

like sir you can't just do that. you're too handsome to do that without risk of heart explosion.

then, one day, unexpectedly, he popped the question.

you two were watching a cheesy romcom for the 5th time, sharing a pot of instant ramen, and at the same moment that the male lead said to the female lead, "i like you. a lot. i have for a while now," rin did too.

it wasn't grand.

it wasn't loud.

it wasn't annoying.

you weren't even sure if he meant it.

but when you saw him looking at you, nervous, awaiting a response, you knew he did.

so, at the same time the female lead said, "me too," you did too.

then, with the cheesy romantic music playing in the back, you guys gave each other cheesy smiles, and he planted a cheesy peck on your cheek.

it was subtle.

it was sweet.

it was cheesy.

it was familiar.

it was uncharacteristically romantic and sentimental.

it was just like how your future relationship with your roomie and best friend, suna rintaro, was going to be.

[tazmiilly]

a better world dimension thoughts below. SORRY ITS LONG

been thinking recently about how I view the better world dimension. the past couple of months have sort if changed how I perceive it mostly bc I sort of hate how it's sort of written in the journal.

certain things didn't change like "oh wow they fucked up Fiddleford's design etc etc" and "how the hell did ford and fiddleford start talking that doesn't make sense" but more so just the overall idea of the dimension did change to me. like okay but these things did happen even if I can't figure it out LOL

i really didn't like how the dimension was sort of written off as terrible because it went so differently from the one we're used to. stan took the journal which means no mystery shack. which. people don't like. but ford never went through the portal. which is great! except a lot of people just sort of assumed that means stan never came back. it's sorta like when ford said he wanted his house back a lot of people assumed he was kicking stan to the curb. he wasn't. he just didn't want the mystery shack to be taking over his house.

i think there's a lot of ways you can view the better world, but they don't always have to be so depressing and bleak lol. I think if ford was able to come to some kind of agreement with stan and NOT end up in a fist fight with him, then they probably ended up speaking on agreeable terms. ford trusted stan enough to reach out to him for help, and if stan takes the journal and disposes of it safely like ford wished he would (even if it wasn't by boat since he couldn't afford that) he would be showing ford he could trust him even more. and I don't think ford would've ignored that.

its sort of hard to describe, but it feels like they wanted people to use his viewpoint on the better dimension as a judge on his character at that moment in time. they wanted to use ford saying "well this is a better world!" as him not learning this valuable life lesson yet or something. which is sort of sad. I mean if ford can have the recognition in a field he has worked so much of his life in so he can understand what it's like to not be treated as a joke to society AND get to be next to his best friend why is it that there has to be a "so this means stan gives up in a fight, takes the journal and maybe dies" like that's rly sad honestly?? I feel like there can be nicer ways of viewing this especially since we have ...next to no info....especially about stan. idk idk

its also a little sad that these ideas have to come up in a dimension where ford is successful and doesn't go through the portal, get his identity stolen, and becomes homeless for 30 years...

[jjmorelikeotp]

Okay so I am watching BTVS for the first time in my life & I'm currently on season 6 E 14, and one thing I really really love is how Spike is just so...comitted.

With Angel, I personally had the feeling he was grieving the person he could be, all sad and sappy in his misery that kinda clung around him all the time (ik we're calling spike a drama queen but. THAT MAN? Depressed himbo vibes. No offense.) Even though he had a soul, there was this feeling of self pity in him - and it makes sense considering the fact he probably knew that one true moment of happiness would turn him back into a monster, and that is rly depressing tbh.

Does not change the fact that Buffy being underage when being with him is totally absurd and predatory, there, I said it.

He is kind of the big scary monster guy and sometimes she does seem like a normal 16 year old, and by that, naive or simply, young.

It made me feel like she was prey, not gonna lie.

It is what stopped him from truly comitting to Buffy. I mean yeah, their love was pure and they definetely are soulmates in some way. They truly affected each other's fate.

But this is where Spike is different than Angel as well. He is truly COMITTED to what he's doing, he is all in for buffy. Like, the way he offers to make money for her when she needs it? That offer is NOT a deal-kind-of-offer. He truly wants to help her and it is so casually because he already is in full partner mode, in whatever way she needs. Offering comfort when she has to work a double shift (yeah by fucking outside, mkay, just the spuffy way ig) like that because he is actually afraid she will lose her sanity? Even though they drive each other insane? Yeah these scenes are not talked about enough.

In that same scenario, Angel never even would have showed up. He would have waited in front of the building after Buffy ended her shift, maybe. He never even offered to be in her life like that, while both of them found a million excuses for it. But Spike does not. He just simply does stuff that COULD be the solution if he ever even thought of them being a problem.

And I think that is also why he's so pissed about Buffy going on and off about him - to Angel, she seemed so comitted, but to him, he just does not seem to be able to.

And again, it make sense, but I also think we don't talk enough about the fact that Buffy did indeed kill Angel, when it wasn't even necessary as in "he was soulless and a monster" anymore. Even though she loved him. But only when she had a really really good reason/purpose.

So one thing that might be also pushing her away from spike is the thought of having to do that again, and desperately trying to find the purpose without being able to.

He makes her choose wether she wants to be the prey or the hunter in this. On purpose. To show her her options and her power because she never really got to experience both sides / perspectives with Angel OR Riley.

So while she tries to figure out 1. Her reason why she should kill him (which should be a very very valid one so she can bring up the power to do so) 2. Her life's purpose in general, he just ... delivers purpose, not to her, but as in, her being the purpose. That's what he acts like and That's what she can't handle. Yes, she is the reason he is trying to change, but also, he puts her in the Position of being the purpose of him doing that.

Showing her the self responsibility and ability to be her own purpose and make her own decisions. (After her friends all kind of screwed up that kind of SELF responsibility.) He really does man up in this show, and like I said, these are just my thoughts watching it for the first time (did not see angel the series yet).

He is also holding her accountable even though he has a soft spot for her, and she is not used to that. She treats him like a man, yes, but he treats her like an equal as well and always has. She is used being looked down upon by adults or the council, enemies, blablablah, also her friends who "saved" her earlier this season, or being the superslayer hero and leader who has to do everything. She is always in positions. Even with angel, she was, it kind of stopped when they broke up but even then, he treats her like she does not know SHIT. Something is standing between them and always has been, and while Angel kind of used that as an excuse to keep distant and keep their walls up, Spike uses these exact walls as a reason or challenge to tear them down. Spike never acts like things are not his fault even if they are horrible, he just simply accepts his dark side while still having a normal one, with passions on tv and card games and whatever. He *subconciously* takes responsibility even before having a soul, for stuff he did, he doesn't blame his vampire side or whatever for it.

I think in subtext, Buffy always had a slight commitment to angel, as in "maybe, one day, it can still happen" while angel cut off all those hopes for himself (not his desires, maybe. But his ... solution oriented search or smth) as we can see when he visits her at her mom's funeral.

And one other reason why Buffy is so terrified of that whole Spike thing is because it makes her stop that hope for angel or resolve that feeling of being owned by (her feelings for) him.

And don't get me wrong, Spike is kinda possessive too, but as I see it he is trying to commit to a relationship where she can own herself and that is what terrifies her truly.

(That's what we see him do with drusilla from the beginning)

You understand what I mean? If you got thoughts on it let me know!

[lesbicosmos]

rewatching s1 of broadchurch even tho im halfway through my first watch of s3 because i have an obsession with rewatching things and DAMN there are way more hints at who ended up being the killer than i originally thought, and a bunch of moments that are really ironic in hindsight

spoilers under the cut (yes it came out like 10 years ago but im still putting a spoiler warning)

ep1 - joe and ellie talk in the kitchen after hardy makes the statement to the media

joe: do you know what happened? i mean should we be worried for other kids?

on first watch, his tone of voice and body language here just seem like confused and worried parent, but on second, there's definitely a hint of panic in his voice

ep2 - joe, tom and fred in the cafe

joe: this is a terrible, unspeakable thing thats happened. but nothing like it will ever happen again here

tom: you cant know that though can you? you cant be sure

then after this joe's facial expression looks SO guilty like he can't think how to respond

ep3 - hardy questioning tom with joe in the room

hardy: can you think of anyone who would want to hurt danny?

THEN THE CAMERA IMMEDIATELY CUTS TO JOE. ik near the end joe swears he never wanted to hurt him but this is still a rly clever piece of editing, i love when shows do this. also the fact that in every scene where he's questioning tom, joe's in the room and occasionally talks but he's never in the frame of the camera hardys using to record it. he was literally right under their noses the entire time and they never suspected because they were focused on other people too much

ep4 hardy goes to the millers" for dinner

this scene hits so much different on second viewing holy shit. at one point they're talking about marriage and work and how hardy's divorce was partially work-related and:

hardy: this job, it does it to you

ellie: well, not to us

ellie actually makes me sob she loves her life so much then it all just comes crashing down on her

joe: do you think you're gonna solve this case?

hardy: certain.

joe: good :)

joe's reply itself here makes sense but there's a few seconds before he says it where his face is just blank and mildly panicked. he's genuinely worrying about being caught at this point.

now this one isn't a direct hint or anything but just if you think about the dialogue in a different context...yeah it fits

hardy: you bloody liar

joe: ive said nothing

hardy: and yet-

joe said nothing to the police or ellie and yet was lying the WHOLE time.

ep5 - brian asks ellie out

ellie: sorry, im married

brian: and thats an issue is it?

ellie: happily married, brian

brian: oh. okay, fair enough. only lots of people aren't though, are they?

ellie: i am.

THE IRONY OH ELLIE LET ME GIVE YOU A HUG PLEASE

ep6 - jack's wake

ellie spends the whole scene looking around to see if anyone looks worried, at one point she looks into a room (seemingly at nige but joe is stood nearby having a different conversation) and she makes eye contact with joe RIGHT as the camera cuts away

ep 6 - joe takes tom to the skate park and ellie arrives

ellie: i was just looking round that bar at the wake thinking "its someone here, why cant i see it?" the longer this goes on, im starting to suspect everyone

joe: when you say everyone...

ellie: well, nearly everyone

this is probably the most obvious hint that i can't believe i didn't catch on to. of COURSE they're gonna make a point for the killer to be the ONE person ellie LITERALLY SAYS she isn't suspicious of.

ep7 - ellie lets susan leave the police station

ellie (about susan's past with her husband and daughters): in your own house, how could you not know?

just ow. the irony of it all. fucking ow.

[spearxwind]

not to sound weird but what was that work you put in to get where you are 🙏 i want to improve my life so bad but have no clue where to start. even a general gist of things

You dont sound weird! I think it's commendable to want to change your life for the better, and I want to help in any way I can :D

This is also my own perspective but I think a lot of it could be universally applied if you look at it through different lenses of ppls different situations. This also got rly long so I'm putting it under a readmore ^^;

So I had pretty much been isolating myself with increasing ferocity for years until recently. Even when trying to reach out to people I was extremely closed off, keeping my feelings behind many walls and chains always. A lot of my hard work has come from undoing all of that fuckup. I put all my eggs into my online friendships (and even then had a hard time with them).

My behavior was a cluster of personal garbage, learned mannerisms from keeping bad company, and hardwired reactions to specific behaviors. It's something pretty hurtful to realize when you do realize it, but that doesn't mean that you are a bad person or a failure or anything like that. It just means that you have certain bare minimum survival behaviors that worked before but now are only doing you damage, and you have to learn to undo them. (which is a great step!!)

Which brings me to what I have (painfully) learned over the past several years: the basis to any and every good relationship, romantic, platonic, family, or anything is crystal clear communication. Straight up for the love of god communication skills will save your life time and time and time again

And also like I said in earlier posts the solution to wanting to be more social is just BEING more social. This is arguably extremely hard, especially after years of "if they want me around they'll ask me" and always waiting to be invited but not wanting to bother anyone by asking if you can join NO!!!!!!!! GET THAT SHIT OUT OF YOUR BRAIN EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY!!!!! It really does NOT work that way at all. People will invite you to things if they see you express interest in them. The same way that in your head you think 'theyll invite me if they want me to go' if they dont see you express interest people will think you dont want to join. If you go someplace and just stay recluse because youre shy they likely will also think "theyre probably not comfortable or dont want to be here, so we wont force them". People are inherently kind and they are definitely NOT thinking about shunting you on purpose (and I am speaking this, genuinely, from personal experience)

While I was studying my major I got close to a group of people and thought of them as my friend group, but they always seemed cold to me, and I rarely got invited to hangouts because they seemed closer among themselves so I ended up always thinking that they didn't really want me around, and created all of these assumptions in my mind about them or what they thought of me.

Years later, recently, I found one of them again just... randomly while walking through the street and we started talking. And in my much better state of mind I asked about this whole thing because I wanted to know how the rest of the group was doing (I care very much for them still) and he revealed to me that THEY were the ones who thought I was shutting myself off of the group bc I didnt wanna be close to them. Which just blew my mind but it made a lot of sense and explained a lot. I was always on my phone too, talking with my internet friends (because it was my comfort zone), so what they'd assumed was that I already had a friend group that I was invested in and so I wasnt going to prioritize them. SO basically this whole thing ended up being resolved with clear communication and would have been solved much earlier if I had just spoken up about it and gotten braver (though my mental state did not let me at the time)

Anytime you are making up assumptions and ultimatums in your mind without communicating them to the other party you should stop and very much go and speak out loud to the other party (or parties) it will genuinely do you good cause huge as hell brain snowballs do nothing but drown you in your own mind.

Also on the being social front, if you dont have the practice in then it will be hard but a lot of it is very much "fake it till you make it" and I genuinely cannot recommend that enough. Inject yourself into conversations and places and act like yourself unapologetically because the secret isnt to craft a persona that you think people will like, its just being yourself and finding people who will love you for who you are. And like I said I just got invested in other ppls plans and asked to be able to go to places, and oftentimes just by expressing interest i got invited "oh I love this show very much!!" "well we have a plan to watch it at my pals house do you wanna come?" "we were planning on going to X place this week" "omg that sounds so cool can I come with" "of course!" Generally people will respond with "the more the merrier" so please dont be afraid to ask. And even if you get a rejection or two it's fine, don't let it discourage you. Some plans are simply not meant to be, and that's totally fine too!

Something else I worked for was reestablishing contact with old highschool friends I'd lost and I missed terribly. I went out of my way to find them again (old phone numbers, old emails, old instagram accounts that hadnt posted since 2019), and I found them!

And most of them really missed me too and were absolutely thrilled I contacted them again, we picked up right where we left off eight years prior. With a lot to catch up to but its genuinely so nice to have them in my life rather than just melancholically thinking about them and wondering if they hated me or anything. Turns out that they had also thought to contact me as well or had tried and lost my phone, or some of them even thought that it was better to leave things as they were to not "stir up shit" so we were all stuck in the same loop of insane thinking without actually confirming it until one of us (me in this case) finally broke the ice (and it took a damn long time too)

The thing is, people are just like you. We all have our own mental nonsense to fight, and we all have our assumptions and propensity to think ourselves into the grave, that's why its so so so so important to communicate things as clearly and as often as possible. Bearing your suffering alone will only make you miserable in the end, and your circle is there to help you

As a last note, I do want to say I have been incredibly lucky, because the friend group I've been adopted into I have met through that one friend from uni that I just HAPPENED to find on the street. I could have not waved him over on the street and just kept walking with my music on and ignored him. I could have said 'no' to his offer to get dinner that day if I'd wanted to be home earlier. I could have never spoken up about liking eurovision and never gotten invited to the hangout where I met my bf. And none of this would have ever happened at all. But that just strengthens my advice of "just say yes and reach out of your comfort zone" because you never know where it's going to lead you!

All this to say:

Communicate clearly with your peers to reduce misunderstandings. More likely than not they'll be in the same boat as you are. (Also extra note. Communication works BOTH WAYS. It needs to come from both parties. It is also a skill you have to nurture and hone!!)

Be kind!! and be loving!! and be yourself unapologetically!!

reach out to people the same way that you'd want to be reached out to. It sucks that sometimes (even often) you have to be the one to do it, but you eventually reap what you sow and people will learn that they can reach out to YOU

People will respond in kind to you being nice to them and a positive energy in their life. Some people will take advantage of it yes, thats just how things are, and its something you have to learn to recognize but you should never let that steel your heart. It is so so so important to remain kind and loving the world needs it so much. We're all out here trying to make our own lives and our loved ones lives a little bit brighter <3

[aquato-family-circus]

I think an additionally understated element in the tragedy of the Psychonauts' degradation is how much it had to have affected Lili and Truman. The latter has to bear the responsibility of needing to keep the organization that his Uncle and the other founders started, despite unfortunately also not really having the means to truly "fix" the heart and soul of the organization due to the founders' various mental issues. The kind of burden he must be under, that feeling of never being quite good enough to hold the mantle but still trying his damdest to keep things together with what skills and tools he has...

I think that's probably another factor of why he would bring on agents like Hollis, Sasha, and Milla; because even if none of them can truly begin to fix the problem, they end up sharing a lot of the qualities needed that represent what his family tried to do. The drive to help others fight their inner demons, the drive to explore the human mind, and the love to try to aid those who need it is there (albeit not perfect, given their mixed record with the Campers of Whispering Rock), even if only to find and mentor those who came later on in hopes of prolonging things.

And Lili, even if she can't entirely pin the specifics, had to grow up with that burden as well. Daughter of a man stuck with that kind of burden, the distance mixed with love for her father, but still perceptive enough to recognize that something is clearly missing and gone from the Psychonauts, the broken family dynamic with her Uncle whom she's never met and her missing mother...

Truman's entire baggage where he became the leader and had to literally fire his uncle AND see most of the others become reclusive and unwell because of all their shared gried is so sad... like that was his uncle helmut who died, that was the lucy he got to know as a young adult as a sweet, passionate woman who was basically like an aunt to him

truman almost certainly volunteered to hep build the PN organization after maligular was defeated in hopes that he could help lighten the load (and maybe work to cope with his losses)...

from the very little we know about the real truman, he doesnt seem like the guy who likes or wants to be in charge, since he's apparently been trying to put hollis in charge for years

but he's also ultimately the best person for the job bc of how his reaching out to hollis parallels how ford was reaching out to people like compton

they both knew these people struggling and making awful mistakes just needed a chance to develop their skills and flourish in the right conditions

from a very easy to miss conversation we know lili says (paraphrasing) that uncle bob would never hurt her dad. and truman sends pictures of lili to bob despite the pain and distance between them... im sure truman really wishes his daughter could know these people the way he grew to know them... and it messes lili up bc she really probably only has gotten to speak to compton and otto, a nervous wreck and a reclusive weirdo respectively. her perception of the rest of them is through stories told to her & through comic books, thats so wack

the fact shes rly only gonna get to know her uncles after all this tragedy is, well... tragic!!

[lemonsilly]

WAAAAGHH!!! YAYAYYYYYY!!!! I have spent the last like six years thinking about this man. I play with him like a doll. Apocalypse stuff,,,,, waaaughh. and john crocker?? working with corporate interests/rebellion and trying to feel out a relationship. writing something really good right now with d/john crocker. and alpha davekat?? where they're both dilfs? i mean come on. i'm not a hs2 guy and i avoid it as much as possible but captain karkat is an exception and i want him to be a rebellion leader combining troll forces with alpha strilonde's mobilized human resources in a wartime setting. like. there's so much to do.

-KD

anon i accidentally wrote too much heres a read more :sob:

tw for drugs anon i hope you dont get the ick from me /j

YIPPEEEEE YES!!!!!!!!! OHHH YESSSS APOCALYPSE STUFFF YESS OMGGGG OHH GODDD i love alpha davejohn so much i litearlly play with them like barbie dolls!!!! i love kinda putting them in a hollywood setting too bc idk im a huge bojack horseman fan and i kind of love playing with celebrity aus esp if you combine the fact that dave is going against a literal Alien Regime (granted most of it is subliminal but its like . enough to kinda piss off the condesce so he always has to have a target on his back kind of .

when i write a!dave i kinda take the approach of how no-game versions of yourself come out very flawed, as the game is supposed to improve yourself as a person and if you dont play the game, fate is kinda just not good to ur personhood. (ie dirk becoming bro is the biggest contender for this but i feel as if this also counts for jake, roxy, and maybe a little jane but i really need to reread the comic a third time to be confident in that statement .. i think this is a bit different for the trolls, however, as the ancestors are much more glorious who knows maybe its bc we dont rly know them? but then again w/ the dancestors (and ig the guardians) theres just this overall theme of "not knowing ur parents (whether that be troll or human)")

ANYWAY TANGENT ASIDE i really think that alpha dave would be a very flawed person, i can see him kind of getting caught up in that hollywood glory especially since i'd kind of view him as a bit attention-seeking, really wanting to be seen as like hollywood's darling and he puts on a cool, nonchalant, funny, charismatic front (knight moment!!) to achieve that (pretty much most previously tumblr favorite male celebrities that fell off, i think). god i could really go into detail but it would make this post WAY longer than it already is

so like my interpretation is like. this dilfy egotistical needy guy who PROBABLY does coke on the regular because of course . ugh i wish i had a good interpretation of my ver of alpha dave, i TECHNICALLY have this comic that has been kinda abandoned since i lost the login in for it (it was a twitter account "interactive comic" series, however be warned bc its my old writing style AND THE ART IS SO BAD and tbh its soooo cringy ughhh i cant believe i thought that was a good idea im crying ... it does have a tumblr though so maybe i can continue it there and just try to save it lol heres the tumblr link )

BUT ON THE GOOD SIDE OF HIM THOUGH i definitely think he does have good virtues, and wants to like. fight off the regime, hes very adamant on that and his efforts to save earth from HIC's colonization are very noble (again, hes a knight, knights are there to protect !! its in his blood!). so its kind of a mixed bag of him like trying to sustain his career while also fighting - at least subtly - against HIC. i can imagine like the weeks or so leading up to his death he began to get a bit more vocal about it, whether that was bc he was gearing up to fucking kill her and her government or maybe impulsivity? who knows.

i do think from the start though, HIC tries to sabotage both his and rose's careers because she knows what theyre up to and she Does Not Like It. and i feel like thats kinda where John comes into play, bc while i KNOWWW canon john crocker broke away from his mother and did his own thing, i think itd be rly interesting if John sort of enters Dave's life as a way to get him off course BUT IT BACKFIRES SO FAST bc johns overall a nice guy and also lowkey wants to kiss this FREAK so he kinda has to balance his mothers approval, the crocker company, and so on. its especially hard bc jades gone atp so basically ever since he was a kid he kinda only had himself so hes like UMm. Ummm. Hm. and thats why i kinda portray him to be a lil evil too in my A!JD interpretations not bc he is evil but more bc hes kinda following both corporate interests and his mothers orders

AS FOR DAVEKAT im not rly a davekat girlie myself but i do adore your vision KD, GOD i love it so much and i can imagine karkat and dave's views of how to go aghainst this regime both differing and it causes lots of bickering and fightings. and sloppy makeouts

SORRY FOR THIS TANGENT i just rly love talking abt alpha dave hes my little guy

[catdemontraphouse]

Through having an autism moment for one of my favorite movies and its related medias (the current Beetlejuice fixation) I came to the following conclusions:

*Beetlejuice’s favorite color is probably red, which is probably a reference to the color of the star he’s named after

*Beetlejuice enjoys fashion and could even possibly be considered a designer (yes rly) Despite being a grungy character who’s known for being smelly and gross… he is a designer/seamstress with a vested interest in fashion???

Yes I’m going to explain in horrifically unnecessary detail. (It’s the autism) and yes this draws from all the juices but tbh any one of them would work as a stand-alone example (except maybe musicaljuice but he’s critical to the sewing part and also he’s the cute one)

————————-

The argument for Beetlejuice being an amateur designer:

There’s an interview somewhere with the costume designer for the musical that says they wanted the pinstripe black and white suit to look like it had been repaired and modified over the years, because since Beetlejuice was a loner, he’d been solely responsible for making and maintaining his wardrobe. So like, he sewed his own suit by his lonesome out of fabric of some sort. Because if it was magic why the hell would it need repairs? Which suggests at least to me that he *enjoys* making clothes because why go through all that work if you can materialize anything at will? And I mean it fits so, I’m sure it wasn’t his first ever pattern making and sewing experience.

There’s also the way toonjuice refers to his suit as having “never been washed” on numerous occasions so I don’t reckon it’s something he just makes from magic and poofs into nothingness on the fly? Though toonjuice could be argued to buy his clothing since they never stated he made it and he lives in some kinda monster city idk. I’m saying that suggests physical matter somehow not like, idk a temporary illusion? If you can wash it, it has some sort of mass to it right?

Listen, why the fuck a guy who can make his own patterns and sew an entire suit would not wash it is beyond me but okay. Anyways the point is there’s a suggestion being made here by the franchise that Beetlejuice makes his own clothing in the traditional way by sewing together some sort of permanent matter. I can’t say I get the same impression from moviejuice though. There’s not much to suggest his clothing isn’t just temporary magic bullshit, save for the visible decay… ok wait maybe it is made of permanent material. 🤷‍♀️ either that or the dust, tattering and moss is a fashion choice? 🤨🤨

Ok so for this next part let’s just like, put aside the weirdness going down with the wedding thing in the movie (btw I’ve seen it numerous times and I feel like it’s def “a green card thing” in the original as well, pay attention to the characters’ behaviors/interactions throughout the film with one another and u can see what I mean.)

Beetlejuice probably designed that red wedding dress right? Because he materialized it or pulled it out of thin air or whatever? And the matching red tux, same thing. I kinda think that was the fashionista in him taking the excuse to make dramatic evening wear lol. Using Lydia as a Bratz doll dressing her up in his designs smh

There’s also how jazzed up and amused he was by turning Otho into a walking fashion faux pas, or at least I have to assume that’s what he was doing when he ripped the guys outfit apart and replaced it with something that caused Otho to scream in terror. How tf does a smelly guy in a crypt know what’s considered a style no-no unless he’s into this shit lol

Oh and uh if you’ve ever seen the cartoon he dresses himself up in all sorts of little outfits on the fly, like very frequently. If nothing else he’s coming up with the concepts for these clothes, maybe not constructing them himself in every version of the franchise but he’s at least designing the outfits in all of them or so I assume. He also gives other characters makeovers or new outfits on various occasions. It seems for Beetlejuice, the living are like breathing Barbie dolls he sees no issue with dressing up in his latest creations.

I’ll now explain the “favorite color is red” thing:

*Beetlejuice doesn’t wear many outfits in the movie, but three out of the four I can remember had red in them. The aforementioned wedding outfits were primarily red. His shirt under the coat in the guide outfit is red. 🤷‍♀️ (Adams undershirt that he copies is red but I don’t rly think it counts) Whenever he’s seen wearing a saturated, non-neutral color, it’s red.

*didn’t he crash a little red car in the model at one point?… I just watched this movie again like last month and I forget already. That car in the photo, he crashed it into a fire hydrant earlier in the movie, didn’t he? Idk maybe not

*his tombstone has his name written on it in red

*toonjuice always has red nail polish 🤷‍♀️

*idk if this counts for anything but the nightclub Juno created to lure him away from the Maitlands was entirely red idk

*and the star Betelgeuse is a red supergiant, so yeah

Bonus entry is this guy a reference to Viy or am I overthinking it???

Yeah ok I’m def overthinking it. 🤦‍♀️

That’s all i have to say. All that crap above. Bye.

[canonical-transformation]

was rereading the last bits of No Bird An Island; are u ever gonna do smt like it again? it was rly cool, esp while it was updating since comment interactions

alsoalso there will be more in the noir!Fischl series rite? no rush no rush jus wondering ehh

In order: (1) probably not (but it's possible); (2) probably (but that could mean months or years).

1) I went waaaay outside my comfort zone for No Bird an Island. Normally I don't push myself to write towards deadlines (writing is a very chill hobby for me!), and I needed a huge backlog to make the 3–6 microchapters per day work. I also needed lots of free time, which I don't usually have!

It was a really fun experience but also pretty tiring+stressful: I'm glad I did it, but I'm not in a rush to do it again 😅 I really enjoyed all the interactions in the comments, and getting to build up to the big reveals and action scenes!

I was inspired by hyperdimensional hopscotch, which Exstarsis (@chrysoula) did last November, as a kind of topsy-turvy Nanowrimo alternative. I really liked the experience of it as a reader, and I wanted to recreate that 🙂 If you find someone else doing something like it, please let me know! (It also counts if you talk a writer you know into doing it :P)

2) All of my fics and series are on indefinite hiatus all the time. This is for my own sanity 🙃

(I, uh, burned out of fanfic a decade ago because I wrote something that got really popular in its niche and felt obligated to continue it even as life got busy and inspiration ran dry. So when I started again last year, I decided, if I have to choose between stalled WIPs ("deadfic") vs turning my hobby into a "duty", I'll pick the former. Other fanfic authors may make different choices!; this is mine.)

Having said that, noir!Fischl is up there with the Tao!Retainer AU in terms of (i) it's fun to play around with, (ii) when I reread I always want more. So I think it's not a question of if, but when!

I'm not sure whether the next noir!Fischl stories will follow up on her friendship with Nahida. As usual, it depends what's noir enough for Fi :P

[italeean]

HIHI ELLE!! AAAAAAAA CONGRATS ON 350 FOLLOWERS!! YOURE SO COOOL!! Remember me when you’re famous 😞✊ I know I’m not rly in the t community but I hope it’s okay I send an ask for the event?? My hobbies are reading, writing, drawing, painting, sculpting, video editing, and video games. I love psychology and literature, both classic and more recent. I also like webtoons and manwhas. I don’t like parties or big groups of people, or watching sports. I prefer one on one interaction or small groups of people, and going outdoors and exploring rather than going to a crowded place in a city. I hope it’s ok I participate in this event if I’m not too much into the t community, but I’m very much so a ler. For the fandom I’ll go with Haikyuu, platonic relationship, and I have no gender preference. Tysm in advance if you accept!! 😻😻💙💙

Waaaahh hello my dear ❤️❤️ It was such a pleasant surprise to see you participate 🥹 Thank you so so much... you're so kind and sweet and cool!!! I hope you'll enjoy your match-up ❤️🍡 *some dango for you*

🔮 For this event, I match you up with... ASAHI

🔮 Why did I choose him for you?

• First of all, Asahi is not the biggest social butterfly out there (no offense obviously) so I think you'd enjoy hanging out with one another • He's also very athletic, which means you'd be able to go out and explore all you'd like • He's also a very good listener, so you could tell him about psychology theories or interpretations of classic and modern literature • I also see him as the kind of guy who'd get invested in the books you tell him about to understand you better • You could also join the third-years during the visit to the temple for New Year's, or just hang out with them!! • I can totally see you sneaking a few pokes to Asahi's sides when he gets too anxious... it's a little subtle thing you do to make him snap out of his spiral of negative thoughts • You could also help him with his designs, since he becomes a designer and you like drawing • He'd totally use your art pieces, may it be drawings, sculptures or video edits, for his fashion lines • 6 words for you: VIDEOGAME. NIGHTS. WITH. HIM. AND. NOYA. • You could probably tickle him also when he gets too invested in his work and basically forgets he's a human being with physiological needs... you know, just to "kindly invite" him to take care of himself • I also have the feeling that Asahi would be a little more talkative with you because he'd be more comfortable with hanging out alone with you and his anxiety would be much more bearable • I see your friendship as a quiet one, full of mutual listening and quality time... both you and Asahi are the kind of friends everyone needs

🔮 Tickle scenario

The sun, the chirping birds, the fresh air, the quiet swish of a nearby torrent, the sound of your steps... this was your ideal afternoon. Just you and your best friend Asahi.

It was refreshing both for you and for Asahi. Even if he was Karasuno's ace and had gained poularity after the sudden rising of the volleyball team, he didn't exactly like the popularity or the fangirls that constantly tried to be around him. Obviously he was always respected with everyone who approached him, but sometimes he felt the need to get away and just spend some time in total peace and quiet, and when he needed that peace and quiet, you were the only person he wanted to be with.

You weren't boyfriend and girlfriend, and you've never even had a crush on one another. You were best friends, and from a certain perspective you even had a deeper bond compared to a couple who has recently started dating.

Asahi was a very quiet and reserved person, who sometimes had difficulties with expressing how he felt, but you could always tell what was going through his mind without him saying anything. The ideal afternoon for both of you was being together just the two of you reading, talking or taking a walk in the nature, just like you were doing today.

You had just reached your usual spot near the torrent, where you usually took a break before going back home. "Ah... I really needed that, thanks Asahi." You smiled thankfully at the ace, who sheepishly smiled right back at you.

"Anytime, and honestly I needed that, too." The tall guy replied, "So, how's school going? Are you doing something interesting in literature class?" He sat down on the grass and patted the spot right next to him, inviting you to sit next to him.

"Oh yeah, I really like both the author we're analyzing and how the teacher explains it!" You took your seat next to your friend, "What about you? I hope that the last year of high school isn't too brutal." "Well..." he began, "I won't deny that it's very difficult, but I'm managing!"

"I'm sure you're taking care of yourself though, right?" You inquired while raising your eyebrow in an inquisitive way. "Well..." He scratched the back of his head, and that was all you needed to hear.

"How. Many. Times. Did. I. Tell. You. That. You. Gotta. Take. Care. Of. Yourself?!" You scolded him, emphasizing every word with a poke to his torso. "Ah! He-heyyy..!" Asahi tried in vain to escape your pokes, "I-i knohow... but- no wait!"

You didn't even let him finish his excuses, you just went for his stomach and scribbled your fingers all over the soft skin, protected by the thin fabric of the shirt.

It didn't take him long to give up. Despite his menacing aspect, he was quite weak to tickling, which you obviously knew as his best friend. "AAAHAHAHAHAHA okaHAhay Ihihi gihihiveHEHEhe..!" He pleaded, and you stopped. You were feeling quite merciful. "Fine, but you better take care of yourself from now on!" You pouted.

Asahi chuckled and gave you some headpats. "Fine, fine... you win..." He laid in the grass and glanced at the clear blue sky. You did the same, but before that, you grabbed your backpack, took out a packet of nikuman and gave it to the tall guy.

"Eat this, I imagined you weren't taking care of yourself so I grabbed something from Ukai-san's shop." Asahi thanked you and stared eating immediately. "So," he said "tell me about that book you're reading..."

[wispscribbles]

When's the next chapter of No rest for the wicked coming up I neeeed it T-T

It's very much in the works, but life has been kicking my ass lately - promise I am making progress even if it's slow. I rly want the next chapter to be Good, but that's also slowing me down rip

Here's a sneak peak of chapter 12 to make up for the wait:

The pair had been waiting for well over an hour now, huddled close to keep warm. Soap’s head dropped with sleep more than once, but he quickly startled awake each time, despite Simon’s reassurance that it was okay if he napped. 

Oh well, if he wouldn’t sleep, then he could answer something that had weighed on the lieutenant’s mind since their bomb had been placed.

“When you told Gaz that you needed to be here to set off the explosive,” Ghost said, earning Soap’s attention. “That wasn’t actually true, was it?”

Johnny blinked in surprise. “Why? What do ye mean?”

“The tripwire, Johnny.”

“Ah.” The smaller man squirmed slightly under Ghost’s reprimanding stare. “Well, maybe we don’t need to be here to set it off, exactly, but it’s good tae have eyes on the situation, aye?”

The winning smile following the words had Simon’s stern facade melt away easily. 

“Stubborn fool.”

“Ye know I hate bein’ benched, Si,” Soap defended with a dramatic arm gesture, immediately wincing when he pulled on one of his recent wounds. Ghost rolled his eyes. “Besides, we’re small in numbers. Each one of us counts.”

“True. Even two injured and retired, not to mention mentally unstable and emotionally compromised ex-soldiers.”

“Now you’re getting it,” Soap grinned enthusiastically, clearly choosing to ignore the dry sarcasm lathering Simon’s statement. The grin only grew when Simon cracked a small smile of his own.

“Well, until backup arrives, you’re right. Each one of us-”

“Sorry, what was tha’?”

“What?”

“Ye just said somethin’ incredible, Si, I’ll need tae hear it again.” 

Ghost sighed. “I said ‘you’re right’, Johnny.”

“Ha, there it is,” Soap cheered quietly. “Could get used tae tha’.”

“Would say it more if it wasn’t so rarely true.”

“Och, shut yer puss,” Johnny chuckled, burrowing back into his spot against the warm body beside him. His nose and cheeks were pink with cold, despite working with a smaller supply of blood than usual. The battered form was more susceptible to cold after the ordeal it had been through, and Simon had accepted his role as personal heater. Usually it was the other way around.

“As I was sayin’,” Ghost continued. “I agree that we’re useful here while our numbers are so small. But if backup gets here in time, you an’ me are getting the hell out. Understood?”

“Sir, yes sir,” came the muffled reply from the face pressed against his winter jacket.

With a small hum, Simon lifted his hand to rest on the back of the other’s head. Layers of clothing separated them, preventing him from carding his fingers through the dumb mohawk like he wanted to, but he still felt the body against him relax at the contact. Maybe the stubborn Scot would finally succumb to sleep.

The winds were biting at his own bare face. It shouldn’t feel strange, not after years of civilian life without the fabric hugging his features, but it was different when he was wearing his gear. The get-up seemed incomplete without the mask. He hadn’t been lying when he told Soap that it was due to airflow; even now, his lungs were still greedily lapping up the oxygen he had so sorely missed. But it wasn’t the whole truth. 

Ghost had risen from the grave way back then. He needed Simon to be the one to do so this time.

“Hey, Si?” Soap sounded much too awake. His mind was probably as restless as Ghost’s own.

“Hm?”

“Thank ye fer findin’ me. Thought for a second-”Johnny swallowed when his voice thickened. “Really thought my last words to ye would be- would- That would’ve… I couldnae stand that.”

He didn’t need to say the words. Ghost knew all too well what he meant.

“A file. There was a sentence written in cyrillic, but- I think I know what it said.”

“What, Johnny?” 

“Hell awaits you.”

The EMP had cut off their communication then, had stolen Johnny away, leaving his final words to ring in Ghost’s head like foreboding. During his long trek through snowy forest, the sentence had played like a broken record. He had strangled that nagging fear at the back of his mind that he would never hear Johnny’s voice again; that one day, all he would remember of that Scottish lilt would be how wrong it sounded curled around those words.

In the end, Ghost would have torn apart the world in his search, if it meant that Soap could drown out his senses with that voice again. 

“I’ll always find you.”

He met Johnny’s eyes with steadfast conviction, when the man leaned back to look at him. Whatever Soap found in the dark eyes staring back had him smiling softly. 

“Aye. You will,” he said. With a teasing glint in his eye, he added: “Sap.” 

“Mm, that’s your fault. I was very cool before we met.”

“Right. Nothin’ cooler than having fifty dad jokes ready to go.”

“Worked on you, though,” Ghost winked, relishing in Soap’s fond eye roll. 

“Lucky fer ye tha' I have terrible taste.”

“Likewise. I fell for a grown man with a mohawk”

“Aye, embarrassing,” Johnny chuckled. “M’happy it didnae scare ye off.”

“Me too.” He pressed a kiss to Johnny’s forehead.

“Sap.”

[caatws]

i’m back to yell again bitch! why are characters grieving vision vs gamora treated so differently by both mcu canon and fandom???

i’ve been saying for the past 5 years how, when ppl blame peter for the avengers losing in iw when he lost his cool on titan after hearing thanos literally killed gamora, it’s hypocritical for these ppl to not also blame wanda and the other avengers, bc them delaying sacrificing vision to the literal last minute also directly contributed to thanos winning.

while vision had put wanda in the position to sacrifice him and she said no, gamora had also put peter in that very same position—and he said yes. and he was gonna do it, even though it pained him. wanda was only ready to do it when their backs were fully, completely, against the wall, and it was literally the final thing standing between them and thanos getting all 6 stones.

while my problem for years has been the lack of equally blaming wanda while blaming peter for behaving out of the same motivations—acting out of love for their partners, who were reduced to thanos’ pawns, and wanting to defend/avenge them—now considering everything else going on with gamora in the time since, there’s an extra layer to this that just has me...hm.

when wanda and the others act on behalf of their love, and eventually grief, for a white male character...it’s understandable, it’s valid, it’s relatable, it’s fine.

but any time peter has acted on behalf of his love and grief for a woc character...it’s treated as the reason thanos won and half the universe died. it’s considered an impediment to other characters, even in his own team who also once called gamora their family. it’s still relatable and understandable, but it is emphasized as an obstacle to overcome in a way that i don’t think wanda’s love and grief ever was.

wanda’s grief was so complex, so tangible, it spawned a whole show abt the ways we grieve and how it can become a dangerous part of our lives. and in the end, we’re made to sympathize with wanda still.

peter’s grief has still gotten its moments, but it’s been treated as a solitary experience the rest of the gotg don’t partake in, for whatever reason. when his grief causes him to act destructively or disruptively, it’s not given the “i support women’s wrongs” empathy by fandom. sure, it’s still made out to be something we can sympathize or even empathize with—but there’s a certain grace given to wanda and her occasionally villainous actions, motivated by her grief, that i’ve just never rly seen given to peter when he fucked up the fight against thanos.

frankly, i don’t know exactly what this means. is it yet another byproduct of both audiences and marvel studios themselves prioritizing and upholding the avengers franchise over the gotg? probably, in part. is it bc w*ndavision is a more profitable ship and (white) wanda is a more profitable character to explore the complex emotional turmoil of? oh, i’m sure that’s an element at play. is it bc ppl like (white) wanda more than peter? that’s definitely part of it and comes as a surprise to no one.

is it an intentional disparity in canon about how much a white character deserves to be grieved vs a woc character? i don’t work at marvel so i could never prove or disprove this with certainty.....but i think it’s an awfully interesting element to consider, bc regardless of intentions, it sure has a certain....impact.

it sure just leaves a Taste in my mouth abt what makes a character more or less worthy of grief than another. when vision died, wanda could uproot the very fabric of the universe in her grief and we maybe want to root for her. when gamora died, peter simply reacted in the moment, and suddenly he’s the worst character in the mcu and the sole reason that an entirely separate character, the actual abuser and murderer, killed half the universe and now we have to hold peter accountable for it like lmao bro???

[insecateur]

heyyy so, basically, i've been meaning to organize some kind of event for the 10 years anniversary of pkmn xy. the initial plan was to team up with noah to host a zine but honestly i don't think either of us have the mental bandwidth to do that rn, but i'd still like to do some kind of community thing bc i think it's in the spirit of the game. so i'm curious what options people would be more interested in:

an exchange open to any medium where people sign up and get assigned a random person and have to make something for them. would probably be hosted on ao3 but i'm willing to have sign ups done via a form if people who don't have accounts want to join in

a bang/reverse bang where one artist and one writer team up to make something together. this would require more organization but would be more do-able for me i think

stick to a free digital zine but have it be a more laid-back thing and maybe get help from other people who might be interested in helping mod/organize it

other ideas if you have them (another fanweek maybe?)

all of these options could be focused on prfr only or encompass the whole game (so for example if we did an exchange we could either let everyone sign up requesting only prfr or we could let people request other ships like serena/shauna, frenchflag, or even request platonic relationships or works focused on one character) for the zine or bang i also kinda liked the idea of having post-canon as a theme since the goal is to celebrate the 10th anniversary but idk.

i have rly limited social energy rn but it's getting to the middle of the year and i feel kinda bad for not having anything set up yet basically 😭 so yeah idk. feel free to let me know what you think!

[dogshit-enchantment]

Harvestella credits rolling... Time to give my thoughts on the game

Spoiler free thoughts:

Genuinely terrific game, I will bite the hand of whoever at squenix's marketing department declared this game to be "just a farming game" instead of the cosmic horror jrpg it actually is

Cry count was somewhere in the 15-20 range, had some of the most heart-wrenching side quests I've ever experienced in my many years of playing jrpgs. Main plot made me go "what? Hello? Huh?" Almost every cutscene, but in a good way.

A solid 10/10 game I love it to fucking pieces

Soundtrack was a genuine 11/10 I want to inject it into my brain

Characters were 10/10 love them so much

Combat was a 9/10 I didn't mind it being on the simpler side, though the final boss dragged a bit

Inventory and crafting gets a 10/10 I love how the inventory/storage works

Farming and ranching gets a 9/10 just cuz I could never get a hang of crop placement and had to axe so many plants OTL (skill issue)

Environment is a 13/10 I love the scenery and towns they're so incredible

Game performance on switch gets an 8/10 it was really solid for like 80% of the game but once u get more than 2 farm upgrades it rly starts to struggle on frame rates on the farm. Overworld also had that issue towards the very end. It was on switch tho so I'm not docking it too much for that, it did rly well (though I did suffer two crashes so OTL)

‼️‼️SPOILER ZONE‼️‼️

I will say, the ending didn't get me as teary eyed as I was expecting, but I felt it did a good job and didn't let me down. The final final boss could have had better line delivery as well as a bit of reworking of her final lines cuz by that point it felt a bit hollow to me. Though maybe I was just jaded from fighting the dream of man's end. That boss fucking sucked

(NVM loaded up my new game plus and getting the letter in the mail saying "humans, I love you" made me cry. I love you too, Omen.)

Favorite boss was by far Aria. She had incredible dialogue and I loved seeing her character getting pushed into a corner and the very human way she lashed out. So incredible I love her so much, and it felt so rewarding to give her back her diary and bringing her back from the brink of despair. She's such a relatable character.

I will say it's also incredibly funny that the minute I got to the American flag in Heine's quest I instantly put together where the plot was going, the fact that it was so warn, the way no one knew what it was, what an incredible morsel for them to give.

Favorite quest was probably a close tie between Istina and Dianthus. I loved that istina was given a "traditionally feminine" role, but was by no means treated differently for it. There was no hint of "you'd calm down if u just had a kid" type shit u see from so many pieces of media. Instead she got to have a storyline about learning how to be happy, how to help others have a happy childhood when she never got to have one. And Dianthus just... I fucking ugly cried at her quest I'm ngl. Her deciding to create art, as inspired by Emily... Makes me feel so much.

I also love that Geist went fucking crazy trying to realize his full potential with the metaphysical, meanwhile Dianthus is like "I'm simply built different" and handles it no problem.

I love Dianthus so much. She was my fave when I first picked up the demo and she stayed my fave the whole way through. Can't wait to date her in post-game.

Harvestella is so fucking good I'm gonna eat my hands

[possibilistfanfiction]

hi i just wanted to say thank you for writing about queerness the way that you do - it’s incredible and has been immensely helpful to me lately. like i’ve agonized over wanting a haircut and a binder and to change my pronouns and have never had the courage to do anything about it, but reading your stuff is making me want to go through with it all. i had to pause a few times as i read your most recent piece (ava’s pov of butch bea) because i was overwhelmed with relief seeing ava and bea want that stuff too. i didn’t realize wanting it could feel so freeing. like i’ve never seen queer people written like that before, and never knew i needed to see it until now. it’s helped me feel okay about wanting the aforementioned things, and also okay about not knowing what i want or how i want to be. all around your fics are so healing and enlightening as far as gender and sexuality go, and gender and sexuality aside they are also flat out masterpieces. i cannot even begin to describe how much they, as well as your other posts on the subject, mean to me. thank you so much

:) thank u!

& i will say that i have spent the better part of the last 15 or so years just vibrating around trying to figure out what makes me feel good, especially in my body & how others perceive it. which is really hard! but trying stuff rocks — i figured out i wanted top surgery but not to transition in other medical ways bc i got a binder! the peace i felt with one felt right, & then i got to explore from there. i have had … so many haircuts lol & most of them have been good! (imo everyone deserves to buzz their hair at least once & just. deal with it lmao. a rite of passage.) now i don’t give a fuck about “what side of the store” clothes are on bc i know exactly what i want clothes to fit & feel like, & i have a tailor, so i just pay more attention to fit & fabric than i do any “men’s” or “women’s” demarcations, especially when most of the places i shop are mostly just vaguely androgynous earth tones anyway lol.

(of course this is with the caveat that there’s enough safety/financial stability but) try everything! especially stuff that’s not at all permanent!

there’s no way i would know what makes me happy & peaceful now if i didn’t try stuff in the past! do i want to wear button downs & chinos & have ppl call me sir?? no i would rather pErish. but did i always know that! of course not, & i got to have the space to try how that would feel. i definitely also know that i never want people to think i’m straight (lol but ppl are stubborn); i had a weird summer bc my hair was rly long, which i loved, but then started to feel just dissonant about… occasionally a little panicked by? (in addition to some transphobic nonsense thru work, which ofc doesn’t help). but once i sat down & was like what the fuck is going on — & felt safe enough to just sit for DAYS in dysphoria to try to figure out the root of it — i was like oh ok cool, easy, i can fix this. i knew i didn’t want to cut my hair rly short again (probably never again or at least for a Long Time, i don’t like ppl thinking i’m a man), but i didn’t wanna keep it long, so i was like ok great, stupid masc bob here we come, & my hairstylist is queer & has a soft butch wife, so i was set lol. but without getting to have space for the past decade to just try things, & to learn how to sit in dysphoria thru therapy rather than just Run Away from the feeling every time, that would’ve been a lot harder to navigate. i used to be VERY adamant abt they/them pronouns but i don’t feel that way anymore, & nothing earth shattering happened or has happened, i just… don’t care. i care more abt my privacy & agency than abt disclosing identity & experience than i do a pronoun, & so i get to make that choice whenever i want, which has been rly wonderful. & getting to try things will help you learn where ur most comfortable, especially as u continue to grow & change.

& like… it’s fun! queerness is so fun! i think beas queerness is fairly ~fraught~ canonically for obvious reasons but in any universe it’s nice to just let her take a fucking breath. kiss a girl, put on a hoodie, cut your hair, take a nap by the beach. it’s not so serious, not all the time. & ava is just FUN, her queerness is so so bright. to me it’s always just seemed like she was never Not queer bc ava has so much life to live & so so much to discover abt herself & the world. she’s falling in love with everything all the time, & with Wonder! & of course that includes queerness! it’s at the center of it bc it’s who you are & who you love, but it’s also just… people, & connection. i used to write rly angsty shit abt being queer & in moments of indulgence i do still enjoy a romp ofc to flex those wow sin & hell & an orgasm being so holy muscles lol, but queerness is my everyday life, & it shows up in the soft happy places more than anywhere else.

anyway, try everything!! especially a binder (bind safely!!!!!) & pronouns, even just online or w a few of ur ppl. if there’s a word you like for your identity, try writing it somewhere or just telling a friend (i texted my best friend that i liked the word ‘dyke’ a lot after having made ‘dyke on main’ jokes abt myself for ten years … we both just laughed). & of course haircuts & clothes are so fun, & they should get to be fun!

but even beyond that (& part of why i think ppl like reading stuff i write, maybe?) is that like so much healing for me in pleasure & peace in my queerness is so tied up in those same feelings abt … everything. food! sex! moving my body! my home! small acts of service! luxury! softness! skincare! the ocean! like whew, waking up & being like this brings me quiet joy, mary oliver was RIGHT, just lets the whole world kinda shimmer. not loudly, not in any remarkable way, but eating good food & having a good beer with someone who sees you for who you are; fresh flowers in the vase; LINEN PANTS; the dog asleep at your feet — all of those things to me are both queer & holy, inextricably together in my life. my wife’s queerness is very compatible w her religion & spirituality, & that’s rly rly beautiful to get to be around. queerness is abt deep care, too, in small ways: checking up on a friend after top surgery, still masking indoors, keeping my dog on lead unless i know her recall will be perfect. it shapes every part of my life. to me the mundane is the most glorious thing, & i have figured things that i love bc, for as scary as trying stuff can be (what if people see me? what if i hate it?) — you know, the most important question: what if you love it?

[sylvanianfamiliez]

going to be autistic on here abt bjd eyes

i’ve been experimenting w trying to make bjd eyes for years at this point and im like confident in my skills but i’m struggling to find the right materials. i watch a lot of various eye makers’ tutorials to see what they use but the problem i always find is that most of them don’t seem to worry abt how the eyes will hold up longterm, which is smth i rly want for mine. like using uv resin for the base will yellow so bad….not to mention the health effects

so it’s like health + longevity that bothers me. i don’t want to use toxic materials for my eyes and risk my health for it. stop using resin without proper ventilation and shit inside your home. please.

my best bet rn is polymer clay for the bases and it works great but the major problem i have is dust in the pure white of the eyes…gonna try some ways of minimising this but i also can’t spend all my energy trying to reduce dust in my environment bcuz it’ll give me a heart attack from the stress. plus i can’t seem to get it to smoosh perfectly in the silicone molds…it’s always got some dents. that’s probably just practice though

so for the dust my thinking was maybe i’d just cover it in acrylic paint after, but acrylic paint stays a bit sticky and attracts dust anyway so. it kinda cancels out. i’ve thought about other materials to use as a base but it always comes back to yellowing. i wondered whether maybe thermoplastic could work but i couldn’t find anything about the yellowing rates so, maybe i’ll try it and leave it sometime but i don’t have high hopes

but then ofc there’s the problem of The Oven. i make the irises out of polymer clay bcuz that’s what works best for me. i’ve never been able to use pastels for my colours bcuz it just looks gross and grainy and muddy no matter what i do, so polymer clay is pretty non negotiable. which means whatever i use for the bases has to be oven safe

and the bubbles in the domes as well…it’d be good to get a pressure chamber someday but that’s a more serious piece of kit than i have room for rn. laeli suggested trying a vibrator to agitate the bubbles which i wanna try so bad lol. but i need to get the resin first….i wanna try art resin cuz it’s supposed to be non toxic so i could use it indoors. and i saw some tests where it was super resistant to yellowing as well. so it sounds perfect but since it’s 2 part resin i’d have to have a lot of eyes prepped beforehand so i don’t waste it all as it’s not cheap !!

im thinking about seeing if i could do the bases with art resin as well but since it’s only non toxic on its own cuz it doesn’t react with anything else in the air, i don’t know what pigments i could use if any. apparently their pigments they make are kinda ass and i’d need it to be a really solid white. they also don’t sell the pigments individually afaik. i’d like to try a white gel pigment but again !! i don’t know how it’ll react. it’d probably be fine but i wish i had the info…..plus i don’t know if it would just melt in the oven. you shouldn’t really put resin in the oven. and if it worked i’d definitely want to get my own little oven sooner as i’m just experimenting w the kitchen one first….bcuz it comes back to the toxic fumes. but even if i did that’s also. having the space for it

UAGH !! you see why i am going round in circles….i wish i could be one of those girlies that just fucks up their lungs and makes eyes that go yellow in 2 years and be happy but unfortunately i care for both myself and my product. i think i’m gonna have to just work on making my space dust free for the white polymer clay but I DONT WANNAAAAAA