#i mean you totally should do it
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I've read all of your asks here, and I think you reflect Aemond's reactions very well, many people forget he's a young teenager, pretty much. I'm sure I've thrown myself on the bed and lifted my feet, while burying my head in the pillow, when I was about 19, 20 years old.
THE WAY I SCREAMED WHEN I READ THIS
Aemond is just that goofy 😊🫶 Such a sweet and relatable war criminal in "The Harshest Winters"
Part three is gonna be wildin
#aemond targaryen#aemond x reader#the harshest winters#jacaerys x reader#jacaerys strong#jacaerys valaryon#please don't take my replies seriously#i mean you totally should do it#because i'm the author and I know best#but aemond doesn't have the capacity to do that#he still sings in the bathtub about you 10000%#his go to songs include:#look what you made me do#the death or peace of mind#a thousand years#he will 100% serenade you if you promise to give him head <3#.... oh my god please don't ever take me seriously
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at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"
like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.
"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."
... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.
and i'd still keep writing.
i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.
i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley
"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"
and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.
it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.
you create because you're greedy.
#every time someones like ''AI will replace u" im like. u will have to fucking KILL ME#there is no replacement here bc i am not filling a position. i am just writing#and the writing is what i need to be doing#writeblr#this probably doesn't make sense bc its sooo frustrating i rarely speak it the way i want to#edited for the typo wrote it and then was late to a meeting lol#i love u people who mention my typos genuinely bc i don't always catch them!!!! :) it is doing me a genuine favor!!!#my friend says i should tell you ''thank you beta editors'' but i don't know what that means#i made her promise it isn't a wolf fanfiction thing. so if it IS a wolf thing she is DEAD to me (just kidding i love her)#hey PS PS PS ??? if ur reading this thinking what it's saying is ''i am financially capable of losing this'' ur reading it wrong#i write for free. i always have. i have worked 5-7 jobs at once to make ends meet.#i did not grow up with access or money. i did not grow up with connections or like some kind of excuse#i grew up and worked my fucking ASS OFF. and i STILL!!! wrote!!! on the side!!! because i didn't know how not to!!!#i do not write for money!!!! i write because i fuckken NEED TO#i could be in the fucking desert i could be in the fuckken tundra i could be in total darkness#and i would still be writing pretentious angsty poetry about it#im not in any way saying it's a good thing. i'm not in any way implying that they're NOT tryna kill us#i'm saying. you could take away our jobs and we could go hungry and we could suffer#and from that suffering (if i know us) we'd still fuckin make art.#i would LOVE to be able to make money doing this! i never have been able to. but i don't NEED to. i will find a way to make my life work#even if it means being miserable#but i will not give up this thing. for the whole world.
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the simplest words
#my art#trafficblr#double life fanart#double life smp#life series fanart#joel smallishbeans#smallishbeans fanart#smallishbeans#ethoslab fanart#ethoslab#etho#etho fanart#cw blood#smalletho#boat boys#not explicitly shipping but can be interpreted as such#lets pretend my garbage handwriting is an aesthetic choice and not a skill issue please & thank you#the lyrics are from the simplest words by the narcissist cookbook…. i think it fits my idea of double life joel / smalletho#i would explain this but knowing me i would just start fucking rambling about absolutely nothing of relevance to the art#this feels so out of the blue lmao like the double life ending was over two years ago now!!! what do you mean im still hung up on it !!!!!!#girl im never escaping the relation ship .its a part of me now#IN HINDSIGHT i totally should have made the fire from the last two pages line up so it looked good when put together like this… rsddssjdh#i always realize these things after i’m done. what the hell
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ultimately i think my insistence on aro positivity honestly is as much a political stance as a personal one.
when i say aro positivity is crucial and that i dislike doomer-ist posts that express sentiments like 'I hate being aro so much I wish I was dead instead’ it's not because I don’t think there can and should be a space for negativity and acknowledging self-hate, or the many ways being aromantic can really suck sometimes. i find that to be very important!
that being said. there is smth here about how self-hate posts are sometimes just arophobia that we inflict on ourselves. and when we put that out into the ether it (intentionally or not) can become arophobia that we inflict on other members of the community. i think there absolutely needs to be a place for negativity and the expression of anger and frustration and self loathing even - these are all good things to talk about because these are things that we experience. that being said, it can also be genuinely upsetting and triggering to people to have what is essentially arophobia shown to them and then have that be validated by other aspec people. your personal thoughts can affect your wider community on a level you may not anticipate. and i understand it i truly do! it took me so long to be able to recover from accepting being aroace - it threw my entire world off kilter and made me question everything about my place in the world.
but my insistence on aro joy and positivity is because ultimately i do believe that building is at the core essence of it all. that ultimately discussions and the purpose of community should be about construction, not destruction. and this is both a personal and a political stance. talking about how much you hate yourself and cultivating online discussions/spaces where negativity about aspec identity is the main and only theme is destructive - if that’s where we let the conversation end. these thoughts can and should be used as a vehicle to look for a path forward!
joy and positivity create a space where the focus can become on forging a path forward, on construction, on community building instead of tearing ourselves and others down with negative thoughts. it’s not productive or healthy when it stops at a place of negativity - it becomes actively destructive to the essence of community.
and i do think that this is especially poignant considering the fact that being any kind of queer, but especially aromantic (and/or asexual) means forging a path for yourself and making your own happiness where there is no obvious way forward. our communities exist mostly online (right now, anyway), there is little recognition of our existence in the real world, the effects of amatonormativity are both pervasive and actively dehumanising, and there are legal, economic and social structures in place actively making our lives more difficult. yes that all sucks! it’s good to acknowledge that. we need to in order to change it. but more importantly, that’s not the end. we are still here and our happiness, our future is for us to determine. even if we can’t change the laws or society, loving yourself and understanding aromanticism as a political identity (as well as personal), as a radical worldview, and as a protest against amatonormativity is essential for both community and personal well being. the personal is political.
tldr. i guess my point is that as a community, we should focus on building, improving, and nurturing ourselves and each other (construction) as opposed to destruction. we should recognise aromanticism and asexuality as political identities as well as personal ones and rely on community and self-love in the absence of anything else as a form of protest and political power. destruction (the recognition of everything that is wrong) is essential as a starting point - but where do we go from there? we rebuild.
#aromantic#aro positivity#aspec#aroace#aro#aromantic joy#arospec#when i saw its important to 'love' yourself - pls understand i am in no way trying to exclude loveless aros from this#that was just the easiest way to express what i meant! when i say 'love' i mean positivity/respect/happiness. etc. i just used that word bc#it works for ME which is why i said it. but feel free to replace it with whatever works for you! <2#also sorry if not everything im saying makes total sense i tried my best#this is something ive been thinking about for a while and have been struggling to articulate#i maybe should have read some theory for this abt community building but im too tired + overwhelmed w school reading right now so sorry.#if anyone has additions on that front though please do add them#also ngl im kinda scared to post this. i hope i explained what i mean well enough. like i get wanting to vent and express self hate BUT.#there is nuance to this and it is not unilaterally healthy i think. also i dont see any other online community fostering the normalisation#of selfhate the way the aspec one does! which makes me feel weird abt it especially.#anyway. this is basically my personal philosophy towards aromanticism#mossy posts#⚙️
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A good King relies upon good advice, Uhtred. I speak only as a man who has made mistakes before.
#me once again pushing the agenda that uhtred basically became alfred when he got older#but he probably forgot how bad he was when he was younger#i mean yeah he totally knew he wasn't very nice but i doubt he ever realised just HOW MUCH he wasn't nice#like the moment when he got upset with stiorra because she didn't want to kneel in front of edward#okay but at least she didn't scream at edward's face insulting him in front of the whole witan like YOU did with alfred#but apparently he forgot#i should make parallels of that too actually#the parallel between aethelstan's reaction and uhtred's at being told those things makes me laugh a bit#because aethelstan seems to know that what he was doing was not the right thing#while uhtred was just an arrogant idiot#michela's gifs#the last kingdom#seven kings must die#alfred x uhtred#tlk alfred#uhtred#tlk aethelstan#aethelstan#david dawson#alexander dreymon#harry gilby
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#star trek#star trek tos#spirk#tos spirk#tos#tos spock#spock#james t kirk#scotty x uhura#montgomery scott#nyota uhura#i’m crying for unrelated reasons so i’m posting my own memes to make myself feel better#should i make these posts smaller?#should i start posting on tiktok again#i mean i never stopped posting on my main#but y’all don’t know about that#(if you do shhh)#should i return to spirkbitch on tiktok??#star trek the motion picture#star trek meme#star trek memes#star trek the original series#bones mccoy#leonard mccoy#i can literally hear the second one in their voices like i would totally believe if that was a real line in a real episode
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the fact that they made it illegal to make ads louder than programs on tv in 2010 but haven't updated it to apply the same regulation to streaming. who do i have to call.
#jack facts#like do they think we don't notice#i truly do hate it here#i really do think that we should get to a ''you ruined it for everyone'' threshhold with ads at this point tbh#circulating ads should be a need based allowance#below a certain nw you can circulate as many ads as you want provided they follow guidelines#then above a certain nw you get a quota. you can have x number of ads circulating at a time.#and i don't mean distinct different ads that can be put wherever. no. if you have an ad on youtube that counts as one#and if you put the SAME AD on a different platform or tv channel or at the fucking gas station pumps or on a billboard or ANYWHERE#each different instance of the ad counts as another ad in your quota!#& if you have like a 1min skippable + a 30sec unskippable v of the same ad on the same platform. that counts as two. FUCK you.#and then above another nw line. you cannot have ads at all. bye you don't need them they serve no purpose they are just annoyances.#also paying influencers to hawk your shit counts as ads! fuck you!! paid word of mouth is not actual wom that is also an ad! fuck you!!!#oh u want ppl to rec ur product & u don't have any ad spots left?? well sugar you better have a fucking good product then lol :) fuck you#also if a co breaks an ad reg that co and any co it owns/parents can never make another fucking ad ever again in its existence#AND if a ceo breaks an ad reg w one co then disbands it and makes a new co and breaks ad reg w that one#then the CEO or any co they have ANY % ownership or investment in can never make an ad ever again. FUCK you.#charities/nonprofits and sole proprietorships get one (1) appeal to a total ad ban#that's IT!! ENOUGH!!!!! ENOUGH!!!!!!!! FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#AND ONE MORE THING. ''pay us not to see ads on our platform/app/other thing'' should also be illegal.#''pay us for basic ass functions'' illegal. pay to win. illegal. sale/product announcements in things that are not press. illegal.#creating an ad or listing for something that doesn't exist and only manufacturing it after it is purchased. illegal.#ads that are full screen when a user has not already selected full screen on a video player. illegal.#pop up ads. illegal.#ads with audio on a platform that doesn't. illegal. video ads on a platform that doesn't have video. illegal.#ads w epilepsy triggers. illegal everywhere forever always w out needing to be reported by consumers. cannot be circulated in the 1st place#ads w graphic violence or soundscapes that mimic it. see epilepsy triggers.#ads for things that are not actually consumer products. illegal.#anything else u want to circulate like an ad must go thru other regs to qualify as psa or edu. if it doesn't qualify tough shit get fucked.#[insert gif collage of people talking extensively while wildly gesturing for emphasis here]
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evil win! the ones plotting for your mysterious death are uncle and nephew!
#persona 5#persona 4#goro akechi#tohru adachi#uncle Adachi au#this came from the idea of apophenia#which means connecting dots that aren’t there#every time I see these two in fanart I go ‘wow . Adachi is so uncle coded here. akechi is totally his nephew. everyone is thinkign this’#false. my au has not reached enough eyes#so I just idk wanted to draw them next to each other to inspire further apophenia in both me and perhaps my followers lol#i was inspired by someone who like. literally just drew them beside each other and I was like. yeah i could do that#NO I COULDNT. NOT EASILY#my brain was like ‘you should do a comic abt how Adachi can’t help but see his sister in akechi bc they look almost exactly the same’#and there was a lot more angst in the arsenal as well#took me forever to just. draw this. like literally I thought I was gonna go insane#i cant. not. draw. a comic. or something with the vaguest of stories it is SO HARD idk why#so this was definitely a struggle. hope y all like it
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Bernie Sanders finally made a statement, on Nov. 4, calling for a "pause" in the bombing. People in the replies are saying "better late than never!" and I don't even know where to start.
The genocide has been going on for almost a month. Over 9,000 men, women, and children have been murdered. Thousands more have been wounded. Members of press and healthcare and their families have been deliberately targeted and assassinated. Israel has been murdering civilians en masse with impunity for weeks, both lying about it and blatantly admitting to it. 100+ Palestinians have been murdered in the West Bank due to settler terrorism backed by the Israeli army.
In an interview, Dr. Ofer Cassif, the Knesset member who was suspended for calling for an end to Israeli violence against Palestinians, revealed that he'd reached out to Bernie months prior to Oct. 7th because of the pogroms being carried out by Israelis against Palestinians which he said would result with an "explosion [of violence]", but received no response.
what the fuck do you mean "better late than never". what the fuck do you mean? the genocide is still ongoing, and, just like Blinken, Biden, and every complicit ghoul, he's calling for a pause. not a ceasefire. a ceasefire is just the start of what needs to happen. but he hasn't even called for that.
"better late than never" what gives you the fucking right to say that? tell that to the 10,000 people who the U.S. and its allies allowed Israel to murder. tell that to the thousands of wounded. tell that to the thousands who have been displaced. tell that to the people of Gaza who have been without food, water, and fuel for WEEKS. tell that to the Palestinians in the West Bank who are being murdered at the hands of settler terrorists. tell that to the Palestinians who were abducted and tortured and released with blue bands around their ankles. tell that to the Palestinians in occupied Palestine who can't reach their families and friends. tell that to Palestinians in diaspora who have seen their families, their friends, their people slaughtered with the full backing and support of the vast majority of western governments and media.
"better late than never" no, it's not good enough. IT'S NOT. there are SO many people around the world - both citizens and members of government - who recognized the injustice for what it was the DAY the bombing started. we owe the Palestinian people so much more than that. "better late than never" the ONLY thing that could POSSIBLY begin to even "make up" for the horrors and injustices inflicted upon the Palestinian people for almost a century is to end the genocide, end the occupation, end the apartheid, end settler colonialism, and dismantle the colonial state. Palestinians deserve NO LESS than total emancipation. Complete liberation. until then, it is not and will never be enough.
#sorry for spiel i just. got so mad. 'better late than never' DO YOU SEE ANY PALESTINIANS SAYING THAT? I WONDER WHY!#also the idea that we can just 'forgive and forget' if a ceasefire is called is insane and out of the question.#there is NO going back to 'business as usual'. we CANNOT and should not expect things to 'how they were before'.#god. i just. USELESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#also this is not like a total endorsement of cassif idk much about him im adding him in as a means to point to bernie's complicity#as far as im concerned bernie is just as complicit as everyone else.#if you are a bernie fan do NOT @ me i am NOT going to debate on this.#im sure hes not all evil nto all bad but it doesnt MATTER. he is COMPLICIT and that will not change. not for the rest of his LIFE.#people like tlaib and c. bush knew what was what within the first days of the bombing. theres no fucking excuse for his inaction!#AND I SAY ALL OF THIS AS SOMEONE WHO LIKED BERNIE.#📁.zip
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You should totally commission me
You can shoot me a Dm on here so I can hand you my discord handle and all :3
Also some art examples here (I will add onto these as I do more comms / pieces
Silly thingy for @spilycoris ily pookie
#commissions open#commission sheet#sam maow chitters#what do you mean im currently MD obsessed and that's why I made the ref with V as a subject#yeahg#you should totally commission me
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Obi-Wan Kenobi: You need to kill Darth Vader! The very fate of the galaxy depends on it! He is pure evil. The source of all that is wrong in universe. Every bad thing that has ever happened ever is his fault - like on a personal level.
Obi-Wan Kenobi: You want me to kill him? Me? The master swordsman? The battle-hardened general? Arguably one of the greatest Jedi of all time? Oh no, I couldn’t possibly!
Obi-Wan Kenobi: No you don’t understand - I love him. Mind your fucking business.
#the sum total of every conversation obi wan had 19BBY-4ABY#master yoda YOU should totally go fight anakin#padme WE need to kill- uh I mean ‘find’ anakin!#reva I’m going to give you an opportunity to kill anakin!#luke how do you feel about patricide???#(this along with many problems in the se universe could have been solved by asking Leia To Do The Thing)#obi really acting like he hadn’t had several wide open opportunities#as if my guy did not have vader lying on the ground in front of him#LIMBLESS AND ON FIRE#and couldn’t seal the deal#‘but he thought he was dead!’ the fuck he did#denial is not just a river in egypt#kenobi is the biggest lovesick idiot in the galaxy#obi wan kenobi#obiwan kenobi#anakin skywalker#darth vader#obikin#vaderkin
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some doctor who cyanotypes I made for my photography class that I just realized I never shared
#I don't actually know if anyone else will find these as cool as I did#but my tablemate and my teacher thought these turned out super good looking#so I wondered maybe if I showed them to people who actually watch doctor who that y'all might like them as well#I mean I know they're dead messy but it was soo fun to do#if you've got the chance to make a cyanotype you totally should. fantastic medium#btw the first is titled “the doctor(s)” if ur curious lol#I'll be honest I'm not the biggest fan of the second one but it certainly got me some compliments so#I'm thinking it's an “I made this therefor I do not like it” and less of an “it's trash” issue#is this art? does this count as art?#I won't tag the fanart tag ig since idk but I'll use my own since I still technically made these with my own two hands#twelfth doctor#clara oswald#doctor who#my art: oil paint pawsteps 🐾#ohh. I also just realized I never shared my clara collage I made for this class either#I'm not going to show that one bc it IS trash but I think it's funny how clara is just my ultimate muse in all of my projects
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Vettonso x Similar Helmets
SV Germany 2012 x FA Monaco 2013: Gold & Dark Red
I think a lot about Vettonso and their mutual relationship witn gold. They're both golden boys, they're both seen lit gold by the sunshine on many podiums throughout the years, both have worn golden boots, and as you can see here: both have worn golden helmets. The parallels in these particular helmets makes me feel insane. Both are: gold with dark red accents, both have their birthplace's coat of arms(Bergstraße and Asturias), both have team animal motifs, and both have symbols to represent their two championships(You by now know the signifigance of the ones on Fernando's helmet, but I think the ones on Seb's are actually a callback to his Formula BMW days when he used to put the smiley stickers on his car for every win.)
And did you know both of these helmets were designed by the same helmet design company? Yep, both of these are JMD helmets. I know JMD helmets are/were pretty popular, but still, there's something to me about Fernando commissioning the same designer that Seb has been using since he was a literal child. Parallels, am I right?
SV Japan 2010 x FA Japan 2023: White with Black & Red
Haha I remember @protocolseben and I discussing this a bit back in September when Fernando's helmet dropped. I honestly think Seb is such an innovator and trailblazer in terms of helmet design, and you can see his influence in helmet design as recently as this past season. I'm not sure if he was the first ever driver to don a matte white helmet with red accents as a representation of the Japanese flag, but it certainly envoked him in my mind when I saw Fernando's!!
I think Fernando's is pretty similar to all of Seb's 2010-2012 Japan helmets but I like this one the most so! I think if Seb wasn't restrained by the Red Bull logo, he def wouldv'e put the red circle where Nando put his so I think Fernando did a really good job, even if unintentionally, at emulating Seb's sense of design.
SV Singapore 2012 x FA Singapore 2012: Sparkly!
Like I said in the one above, it's crazy how much Seb influenced helmet design. He was pretty much the pioneer of sparkly helmets for Singapore, right? It drives me absolutely insane that there's actually pictures of them together in such similar designed helmets. It's kinda funny actually that even though they're pretty deep in the championship fight at this point, and Seb just got one up on Fernando; Fernando is wearing a helmet that is a direct influence from Seb!!! Is that not insane???
Also, Fernando trying to be camp with trying the now in vogue sparkly Singapore helmet, and Seb accidentally completely blew him out of the water with his outrageous light up LED constellation helmet. But god yeah....to have pics of them in matching helmets from this era particuarly makes me emotional ;;;
SV Hungary 2021 x FA 2022: Pink with Dark Blue
I really could've picked any of Seb's 2021 helmets, but I thought this one matched the best with Fernando's main 2021 helmet(with the color pallet.) Also one thing, it's crazy how much control BWT has as a sponsor, I don't think I've ever seen another sponsor go so hard at having a chokehold on individuality. I like that we got pink liveries and pink helmets, but I don't think they should have that much control.
I'm almost kinda sad there wasn't any Miami GP in 2021, because I think that was the only unique helmet Fernando had in 2022. But these match pretty well! Pretty in pink!! It's crazy that their parallels in the 2020s are ongoing even before Fernando actually takes over Seb's seat. Thanks BWT I guess?
SV Abu Dhabi 2022 x FA Abu Dhabi 2022: Fernando's Seb Tribute Helmet
AND HERE WE HAVE THE PIÈCE DE RÉSISTANCE!!! The ultimate conclusion, it literally couldn't get better than this!! This is still unbelievable, like how is this an actual thing that happened!? Fernando intentionally branding his helmet, the only symbol of individuality in F1, with his rival's flag colors, HIS FLAG!!!!! Not to mention the literal "Vettono Best Moments" collage he posted alongside it....and the hand-holding....and everything that happened with them at Abu Dhabi 2022....
But god, after years of incidentally making parallel helmet designs, Fernando decided to officially tie the knot of the red string of fate, and make a helmet directly referencing Seb's. I think it's funny because as I said with two of the previously mentioned ones, those Fernando designs are pretty much inspired by Seb's, and here he is openly making one directly inspired by Seb. I don't really have words for how this actually makes me feel because it's just. Yeah. The most open and clear declaration of love and respect and admiration one could ever make. TO ME.
#all of my posts subheading should be: 'its probably not that deep BUT-'#i can't believe ive made two deeply researched and beloved posts in a row one day after the other#posts sponsored by: 12 am red bull consumption. my all-consuming devotion and love for vettonso. and my unwillingness to do schoolwork#i mean i felt a lot of emotions and had fun making it but like. hey. could you put this effort into school?#anyways feeling deeply emotionally affected about helmets and their symbolism#i think in the entirety of f1 seb and fernando are two of the most dedicated and passionate about helmet designs and symbolism?#so this post is very special to me :] helmet fuckers unite <3#again: they say they aren't friends and don't share any hobbies and im just staring at them like YOU IDIOTS!!!#its just that spongebob meme of him pointing out the trashcans. like guys. be fr rn. you totally share hobbies#both like helmet design. paddel and pingpong. sustainability. cars. racing. european football. THE LIST GOES ON AND ON#well im glad they swapped helmets at some point(i think nando gave seb two pretty old ones as well. now thats dedication!)#if they werent cowards i bet they couldve also had a 5+ hour long discussion about helmet design ;;;;;;#thinking also about how fernando has one of seb's in his museum >:) but if only it were one of the ones on this list. sigh.#normal posts that catie normally makes in a normal fashion#well lmk if theres any other vettonso helmets you think are similar!!! im pretty blind to seb helmets that arent rbr era tbh#sebastian vettel#fernando alonso#f1#formula 1#vettonso#we do a little bit of f1
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imagine you're luce, and you're born the heir to a mafia family. you're mafia-born, and so of course also mafia-raised, and then also a donna-to-be. you're raised to be able to take on the role, to be good and capable at it, are taught to make one of your core beliefs about how the many must come before the few, because the family must always come first. you're going to be the donna, of course you must always prioritize the family above all else, it's your foremost and most important duty.
if caring about the few too comes at the price of the many, comes at the price of the family, is it even worth it? if the happiness gained from it comes at the price of a greater suffering for others, is there even any meaning to it, even if it's your happiness we're talking about? you understand, don't you?
you're not sure if you do, but you care about your family, love it, want to do right by it once you become their donna, so you nod, listen and learn.
(you don't have to be taught the pain and loss and guilt and anger and bitterness is a fair price to pay for the pain you decide has to be inflicted and the sacrifices you decide must be made, including by yourself. it's the least you could do, even.)
imagine you're luce, and the gift of foresight runs through your blood.
you would not call it a gift. you did not ask for it either. and you'll never come to see it as something wanted by you.
you can see the future, and it happened exactly as you saw it would, so of course it's exactly the way you wanted it to go. you can see the future, and it happened exactly as you saw it would, so of course you didn't care to try hard enough to change it. you saw the future before the shape of it had yet to be breathed into existence, and who's to say it didn't come into existence only because you saw it happen? you saw the future, and it happened worse than it had to for it.
you can see the future, but you still can't make it anything else than what it was always going to be. you can even make the visions happen at your will, but you still have no say on what you see or how much you see. you still can only be the witness of it before anyone else can.
it does mean double and longer the happiness sometimes, means relief and gratefulness and hope beyond words, and it'd be cruel of you to voice out loud your feelings for others to hear the many more times it means something else.
you can see the future, and it doesn't make it any kinder on you than on anyone else, does not give you any more power or control over it than anyone else, but at least you can see the future. you're given the time to make peace with it, to brace yourself for it, to bargain with it, to plead and beg and fight against it however desperately and hopelessly, even if in the end it still happens exactly as you saw it would.
(you can see the future, and it still doesn't hurt you any less than anyone else when it happens, but you don't expect anymore for anyone to hold you any less responsible for it anyway. it would be nice for someone to do it one day, but you understand.)
you can see the future, and you decide it's a kindness to both yourself and others to keep it for yourself as much as possible whenever you can.
imagine you're luce, and your family has this set of rings they've looked after and protected for as long as your family has existed. they're one set of three of the most important artifacts in the world, ones that help in safeguarding its existence and balance. they're duty, the very first one and the most important one your family was created for.
the pacifier around your mother's neck is duty too, and the most important and powerful artifact among twenty-one in safeguarding the world and its balance. it's been passed down in your family too, from mother to daughter. it's duty, but less tied to your family and much more to the blood running through your veins. it's a curse, in fact, as it demands heavy sacrifices the rings don't, and one that can only be tied to the blood running through your veins.
(your mother looks at you as if expecting some kind of reaction from you, and you can only wonder at which point you weren't supposed to see it as a given. duty and sacrifices have been one and the same for you for a long time now. is it even duty if it doesn't require any sacrifices from you?)
imagine you're luce, and your mother dies for duty. she's the donna, and so she dies for your family. she's the sky arcobaleno, and so she dies for the world. she's your mother, but she dies anyway, doesn't fight it either, even knowing she will leave you behind, even knowing she won't ever get to see what you look like all grown-up.
everywhere you look, duty stares back at you, from your mother and the pacifier around her neck, her love for your family and the life she gives up for it, her love for you and how she dies anyway while you're still only a child. duty, from your family members and how they die for you and kill for you, how they do both at your command, how their lives are in the palms of your hands and how they weigh only as much as you allow them to at a time. duty, from the knowledge your foresight gives you and the shackles tied to the blood running through your veins.
your mother's only duty while she lives too. she loves you, but she'd have had to give birth to you anyway even if she didn't. she loves you, but she still gave birth to you even knowing the kind of life you'd have to live, the kind of hands you'd inevitably end up with, the burdens she'd have to lay on your shoulders, passing them down from her own. because she loves you, she finds the resolve to raise you to be able to face all of it head-on and come out on top, but she'd have had to raise you much the same way anyway even if she didn't.
(she doesn't die for you, doesn't fight to be able to keep living with you, and this, too, is your mother surrendering to duty one last time.)
(you're so sick of it, so angry at it, so hateful and resentful against it. you're so stifled by it to the point you've stopped being able to breathe for a long time now. or you would have been if they had taught you how to face duty in this way too.
it's for the better they didn't. a silver lining, sparing you pain that isn't necessary for you to go through. everyone you turn to only teaches you how to keep holding your breath longer, and you listen and learn, obedient and dutiful as you've ever been.
you're grateful for it too. really, you are.)
everywhere you look, there's no room for you to so much as question any of it, let alone anything more. duty is commendable, something you ought to look up to and strive towards, strive to achieve. duty is the right thing to do. of course it is.
(you exhale a breath of relief that shakes you down to your very core.
thank god, it's at least the right thing to do.
you're grateful for it beyond words. really, you are.)
imagine you're luce, and before it even happens, you know the choice you'll make when climbing that mountain, when standing on top of it, when waiting for a bright light to shine down on you from above. you know the choice you'll make then, even when pregnant with your daughter.
it doesn't matter since how long you knew, be it years, months, days, hours or minutes before. all that matters is that before you can even contemplate the idea of making another choice and all its implications and possible consequences, before the thought can even come alive in your mind, you already know the choice you'll make.
(you can see the future, but just because you already saw it, it doesn't mean it's now set in stone.
you can see the future, but just because you're given the chance to fight to change it, it doesn't mean it still won't happen every bit like you saw it.
it doesn't mean it can't still happen even worse than how you first saw it happen because you fought to change it, no matter how already dreadful it originally was.)
imagine you're luce, and before it even happens, you know they'll be others with you standing on top of that mountain. you're the only one who'll know it before it happens.
(because you can see the future.
and oh, you did not ask for it.)
they're strangers, people you don't owe anything to. adults who choose to show up at the first meeting, and to show up to every following mission after that. the chosen seven, whose ambitions and prides lead them to walk the path of the seven strongest too once laid down in front of them.
you don't force their hands in making any of those choices for them. you're not responsible for any of them.
you become coworkers then, accomplices, your hands stained in blood to various extent, but now dipping in the same pool of blood as you strive towards the same goal together. you have each other's backs, learn each other's strengths and weaknesses, learn each other's personalities, likes and dislikes. you keep having to spend more time together as the missions keep coming your way.
inevitably, you come to care about them. even more damning, they come to care about you in return. enough so they'll look after your daughter even after what'll happen on top of that mountain. enough so they'll look after your granddaughter too, warmly and fondly enough she'll call one of them uncle.
you're still the only one who knows they'll stand together with you on top of that mountain, not knowing what'll happen on it like you do.
and you do care about them, you swear you do. really, you do.
(you care about them the same way your mother cared about you, and how she still raised you to have steel in you and be made of sharp edges you know how to use. you care about them the same way you care about your family, and how you still send them to their deaths as needed so the rest of your family you care about just the same can keep on living longer and safely. this is the only way you've had the chance to learn how to care and love.
duty and sacrifices have been one and the same for you for as long as you can remember. it doesn't matter at which point sacrifices came to mean love to you too.
and most of all, you love your daughter more than anything else in the world.)
imagine you're luce, and this is who you are. this is who you've been raised to be, the only way you've been given room to grow up to be. this is the life you've lived and the kind of life that has shaped you as the person you are now. this is what you've been taught and told is the best version of yourself you could have grown up to be. this is who you ended up being by what you've been taught and told are all the right choices to make.
you're still the only one who knows what is about to happen on top of that mountain. it hasn't happened yet. the fate of the world hangs on what'll happen on top of that mountain, the same world you'll have to give birth to your daughter in. the same daughter you're currently pregnant with.
now imagine you're luce, look me in the eye and tell me you'd know how to even form the thought of the possibility of there being any other choice to make. look me in the eye and tell me you wouldn't look at the only choice in front of you, and know deep in your bones it's the only right choice to make. that it is right of you to make it. because it simply has to be.
(imagine you're luce, and you're not doomed by the narrative. of course, you're not.
why would you need to be when the narrative has painstakingly shaped you all your life to become its perfect, faithful and dutiful sacrificial lamb?
and then, imagine you're luce, and you're even grateful for it, so, so very grateful it held up its end of the bargain too.
truly, you are.)
#katekyo hitman reborn#khr#khr meta#khr headcanons#khr luce#khr arcobaleno#arcobaleno curse#sky arcobaleno#this post is first and foremost for the luce stans girlies#so maybe like. the whole five of us tops 😌#everyone else is also welcome to interact with this post but yes i am a luce stan who's very pro she didn't ever do anything wrong ever#and i know that and i love her for it <3#but also this is not a 'this is why you should love luce too actually' post#or even a 'this is why you should forgive her for the choices she made actually' post#like i totally get how and why one can dislike/hate her. genuinely#but this is a 'you totally lose me if you then follow up by saying she still doesn't deserve understanding or compassion or sympathy or#even pity' post#i mean come on. she WAS standing on top of that mountain too. she bore the curse just the same as them. was as much a victim of it as the#rest of them. in fact the sky arco curse is arguably the WORST of them all so like. yeah#the sky arco but luce specifically to me is such a tragic character is what this post is about#definitely not enough for her to be considered as doomed by the narrative but like#the narrative was in need of (seven) someone to take one for the team and tho it did choose luce without asking for her opinion about it#/she/ then decided that the best course of action was for her to /let/ herself become perfect for the job and like???#i just love thinking about the implications of it and how she might have ended up with that kind of mentality#my girl has never been okay a day in her life and i also will never be normal about it <3#also i might also post this one on ao3 in the following days so it can reach like. maybe a whole two more luce stan girlies 😌
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dude i just watched a mouthwashing playthrough and dude. like that was a horror game, but it wasnt a normal horror game. a normal horror game makes me jump and scream. This one? i was frozen. my eyes were wide with terror. i was cold, even though i was wearing a blanket. I was holding onto my blanket and i didnt even realize until it literally started hurting because i was holding on so hard. I cried at least twice. i was frozen in terror afterwards. I wasn't even playing the game yet i still felt everything. What the hell did I just see.
ok but seriously THE SOUND DESIGN?????????? SO good and it was SO terrifying. the breathing sounds and the sounds of curly taking the pills were so gross omg i am not the same person after hearing all that it was heart wrenching and soul crushing and dream shattering im going to rot away and turn into mold holy shit
Also normally i dont like nonlinear storytelling because its normally confusing to me but this one???? So good, it woudnt have worked linearly. the graphics also are good, its gory and gross and it couldn't be better. I'm terrified and might not sleep tonight. i love you daisuke and i fucknig hate you jimmy grrrrrr
#i hope someone finds curly and he lives a normal life afterwards#i mean it would be pretty diffucult considering what hes been through but erm#(NOT that he's neccesarily a good person he did anya DIRTY)#(WHY did he do that i feel so bad for her she didnt deserve it)#(she should have been comforted more instead of 😡jimmy😡)#(like i get he was trying to avoid conflict since yk you cant really separate 2 people in a confined ship for 200+ days)#(but SHEEEEEEEEESH)#(she should have gotten better treatment and more comforting)#you could never make me hate anya or daisuke#to be fair i think daisuke has a grand total of 0 haters so#anywayssss#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#ok but fr how do people blorbofy these guys#thats crazy#anyway
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#i just think they’d play together a lot when they were little#ok listen#think they’d be more like big brother little brother at this age#but like#fanon kaito has always been less mature than most characters his age#so when he’s younger i imagine he’d find himself with friends younger than himself as well#and i just#i love when his friends totally accept this and don’t mock him#sosososo much#and i don’t know it means a lot to me as an autistic person who grew up mocked for my childishness#to see this guy with supportive friends and irl fans#idk how to fully articulate my thoughts do you get me#autistic kaito real you guys#also this should go without saying but pls do not tag this as a ship 😭#1) they are quite little here specifically 2) im not comfortable with the ship in general#please please please#krash art#artists on tumblr#vocaloid#vocaloid fanart#cryptonloids#kagamine len#kaito#kaito vocaloid#my art#vocaloid kagamine
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