#(this along with many problems in the se universe could have been solved by asking Leia To Do The Thing)

[mmelolabelle]

Obi-Wan Kenobi: You need to kill Darth Vader! The very fate of the galaxy depends on it! He is pure evil. The source of all that is wrong in universe. Every bad thing that has ever happened ever is his fault - like on a personal level.

Obi-Wan Kenobi: You want me to kill him? Me? The master swordsman? The battle-hardened general? Arguably one of the greatest Jedi of all time? Oh no, I couldn’t possibly!

Obi-Wan Kenobi: No you don’t understand - I love him. Mind your fucking business.

[faelapis]

I disagree that it’s comparable to how SU treated Bismuth. Bismuth wanted to kill one of the Diamonds murdering and oppressing everyone. Jet wanted to kill innocent civilians. He had a chance to change when he entered Ba Sing Se, but he became fixated on exposing Zuko and Iroh - from his perspective, working class refugees who he only hated when he realized they were fire benders.

so... here’s the thing. 

let’s talk about how “extremists” in media are often framed.

for one thing, they’re usually not really... “real”? they’re demonized. they give you easy versions of extremism, where they’re so cartoonishly evil you don’t have to confront their ideologies on any deeper level. in jet’s case, you just give him someone it’s Obviously Bad to Kill, problem solved, right?

not really. you’ve still condemned “the violent ones” as being “like jet”. Extremism Bad Because It Means Child Murder :( this is the same problem as in the hunger games, in which gale is also seen as going “too far” in this very facile, pathos-stripped way that it’s easy to condemn. both are still saying that violence, or at least that kind of violence, are bad, they just take it to the obvious extreme to get the audience on their side.

SU doesn’t take shortcuts like that. they give bismuth AND rose realistic motivations. that’s what i mean by saying bismuth is treated as more “real” and with pathos. your heart breaks for her. she’s treated like a perspective you UNDERSTAND. you get why she thinks the way she does - because from her perspective, there’s no reason to ever think a diamond could change. from her perspective, the CGs were working class. nobody truly “changed” so much as they “stood up”. that’s why she’s both worth listening to and considering the pros/cons within that universe. at no point does she strangle toddlers so the kiddos at home will know she’s a Bad Guy. it’s more complicated than that.

it might be implied bismuth would’ve killed more than just the diamonds - she speaks of homeworld gems “in their way” in the general sense, and we see her hit lapis from the back - but that’s a might. it asks the audience to fill in the blanks of how far they think bismuth would’ve gone. it’s not “the poor children :(”, it’s how far YOU, from the information you’ve gathered from her mindset, thinks she would actually go.

i think part of the controversy here is, indeed, because SU doens’t take that shortcut to tell you bismuth is obviously evil. she’s not. the narrative never treats her like “one-dimensionally” bad. her perspective makes sense, and steven doesn’t really have a strong answer for why they shouldn’t do things her way. heck, he admits as much in s5 - in s3, he was mostly hanging on to the divine image of rose given to him, in which she embodied what a CG “should” be.

the narrative itself gives you a few reasons in s3, but only if you pay very close attention - for one thing, lapis and jasper would likely both be dead. bismuth was an implied part of lapis’ trauma and the raid that started jasper’s life. peridots might’ve been killed, considering they’re kindergarteners. if you think that’s a worthy sacrifice, then you’re asked to think whether these characters, who you may very well personally relate to, deserve to be killed for doing their essentially god-designated job (from birth!), and being but small parts of a larger machine... which ALL gems were, at one point. including the crystal gems.

(also by killing the diamonds, the homeworld gems will hate you. that’s why steven couldn’t help jasper in “earthlings”. they will despise you rather than love you, because they are literally programmed to love their diamonds. you’ll give them the kind of collective trauma where they’re much more likely to turn against you than join you).

another thing - bismuth thinks they could’ve won, but... could they? how much of that is the desperate hope of someone who doesn’t want to consider other options? we don’t know that either. the crystal gems are but a small fraction of what they used to be. bismuth can pep people up, to the point where they emotionally identify with her cause (and become, like bismuth herself, entirely lacking in self-criticalness about that), but she can’t make them realistically confront their own numbers, or the obvious advantage of talking to people who are many more than you... 

which is why later, bismuth is strategically willing to accept that. she’s not entirely unreasonable. she cares about the end goal more than she cares about being as violent as possible. she wants steven to use his privilege when the time comes, because that’s what will help the most people. even if it hurts him.

that’s the mark of a true ideologue - being able to put your preferred method aside when the moment calls for it. anyone who thinks they’re ideologues or committed to a cause, but aren’t willing to put their means aside when it’s beneficial *FOR THAT CAUSE* are not ideologues. they’re just in it for the guns.

all in all though, the “big” thing that decides between steven and bismuth’s perspectives isn’t really what either of them say in s3. it’s in s5: the fact that ROSE, their leader, was pink diamond. this makes it very, very hard to other your enemies as these soulless monsters to defeat. you are your enemies. that’s what makes bismuth face that she can’t distance herself from either homeworld or gemkind - she’s been putting someone on a pedestal all along, she just wanted the “right one” to idolize on top. that’s what she has to face.

also, it is ROSE who built up pink diamond as the ultimate enemy to kill. time and again, rose does not understand the consequences of demonizing herself or distancing herself from people... then again, bismuth doesn’t give her much reason to - bismuth starts out thinking there are “good” gems and “bad” gems, and the only backstory rose thinks bismuth would buy is one in which she always knew the right thing to do. which nobody is born knowing.

there’s also a bunch of little things i could bring up, such as how the diamonds aren’t just killers or oppressors. they are, in equal parts, creators. they made gems “in their image”, seeking purpose and light. that’s what makes them a decent parallel to “petty gods” (and abusive parents) more than anything else. they create all of gemkind. they project outwards, through their “children”, in such a way that they feel entitled to give everyone purpose. they, themselves, were made with purpose - and had to find themselves outside of it. rose never internalized that she could truly change, but she did. time and again. but people still suffered for it. time and again. 

even now, it’s an open question whether rose did the right thing in putting bismuth away (even if you understand why both acted the way they did!)... but rose is gone now. and bismuth is still here. she can still live the liberated life she always wanted, with her friends by her side.

so yeah, i’ll take that over “jet started out okay but he’s Actually Really A Meanie Mean Who Must Die To Show Extremists Are Bad”. 

[maozijun]

Mao Zijun Xing Fan Interview

Removing the “adonis of period-costume dramas” label, and returning to a Republican era drama

Before Killer and Healer (or KillHeal hence), Mao Zijun had not filmed a republican drama in a long time. For almost the past five years, the audience’s impression of him has been his costume dramas, such as Qin Wuyan from The Legend of Chusen, An Qinxu from The Glory of Tang Dynasty, Yin Yiren from The Legend of Haolan, and so on and so forth. Because most of his dramas are costume dramas, as it happens, offers that come to him are the costume dramas.

Thus, when an offer for KillHeal, a TV drama about “drug crackdown” set in Republican China, appeared before Mao Zijun, he accepted it without a second thought. “At the time, I felt that I didn’t want to keep shooting costume dramas.”

If “costume drama” is a tag the audience associates with Mao Zijun’s role and acting, we can also claim that “zen,” “placid,” and “easy-going” are impressions he leaves on most people. Other than for the purpose of promoting the broadcasts of his new dramas, he seldom appears in public. If he “wasn’t at home, [he’d] be hanging out, or watching movies.” To the public, it’s as if he’s been “spirited away.” As a regular whose name ranks on the “skilled actor without due fame” chart, regardless how many times he’s been asked about the matter, his response has always been “I really haven’t paid it much attention.” His response may seem like a pleasantry, but he means it from the bottom of his heart.

Mao Zijun knows that ever since he became an actor, his career has been successful for the most part without any major setbacks, and he’s met many great people along the way. From his first TV drama Beauty's Rival in Palace when he cooperated with Lin Xinru, he stumbled into the entertainment industry and was swept along despite his inexperience and unworldliness. Including Director Yu Zheng who was willing to give him the male lead roles for The Legend of Haolan and The Matriarch. “So I thought I’ve had good luck. I’ve met people who appreciated me and were willing to give me opportunities. I’m very grateful.”

Mao Zijun’s “zen” attitude, however, doesn’t extend to everything he does. When there’s a role he really wants, his “wolf-like ambition” is brought out. When it comes choosing projects, he doesn’t compromise either. “I think everyone has the desire to strive for things they don't have; regardless of where you are in life, you wish to become better, you wish that you can climb higher. It’s a never-ending climb.”

Regardless of whether he’s gained fame and popularity, or remains a fine wine waiting to be discovered, “becoming better” is a creed he lives by and acts upon.

- 01 - Shooting KillHeal was an effortless process

What made Mao Zijun “return” to KillHeal after a long separation from republican dramas was its story and Jiang Yuelou’s personality. Jiang Yuelou is a morally grey character: a police officer and Chief of the Inspection Department. He's made law enforcement and drug crackdown his lifelong war, and it’s an undertaking he’s willing to sacrifice his life for. Although a patient with manic depression (known as bipolar disorder in modern clinical terms)--which results in his irritable, violent, and stubborn personality and tendency to be a lone wolf--he’s upright at his core, and there’s a gentle side to him deep down.

When Mao Zijun saw the script, he knew that this character had a lot of potential and creative room to work with. Precisely because of the great amount of creative room, on top of Jiang Yuelou’s vivid and distinct personality, filming for KillHeal was a relatively easy-going process for Mao Zijun despite the character’s lifelong angst and suffering. The character was rich and human per se, “so there was no need to brood over some things,” and it could be rather realistically portrayed. By the same token, the more one could ease himself into character, the better the final results.

Many actors determine the difficulty of portraying a character by criterion of the character’s degree of complexity, or their own compatibility with the character. In this respect, Mao Zijun is somewhat different: his criterion is whether the character can spontaneously come to life in the mind’s eye. “When you’ve read the entire script and discover that the character is very vivid and lifelike--his motives, intentions, behaviour and course of actions, all of which constitutes his rich psychological wiring--you will be able to portray him with relative ease, and not based on whether he’s similar to you. “Compatibility is only one aspect.”

Even if you were to act a character completely different from yourself, “you can imagine yourself in his shoes--what he would say or do” because he’s such a vivid character. “You can effectively get into character.”

In crafting Jiang Yuelou, Mao Zijun largely relies on following the script, his character changing with the progression of the plot; as a result, Jiang Yuelou’s uncontrollable violence, uncompromising ways, and other destructive habits doesn’t extend beyond the character and affect the actor himself. Unlike other actors whose characters took a mental and physical toll on them, Mao Zijun isn’t a purely immersive actor.

“Filming for a movie may require more personal feelings and emotions, but for a TV series, I think it’s half-and-half. Except for particular emotional scenes, that is.” In KillHeal, for example, the emotion expressed through Jiang Yuelou’s eyes when he’s solving cases, or reaction to receiving news, are all achieved through acting techniques. But for scenes where he’s facing the death of his subordinates, his mother, his adoptive father, his brother, and other loved ones, his reactions and expressions of pain must be nuanced and highly faceted. Even for crying scenes, he must cry in widely differing ways. For these scenes, Mao Zijun must lend his own emotional faculties to the character.

However, he does not believe tears are the only way to express his character’s emotions. When his younger and less inexperienced co-star, Ian Yi, consults him about his worries of being unable to shed tears, Mao Zijun tells him, “Why must you shed tears? Tears do not mean everything. The more dramatic and emotionally heavy a scene is, the more you must relax yourself.”

Filming to Mao Zijun is in fact a creative process where he imagines the character, then completes him. Hence, for every character he has acted, Mao Zijun would forget about the character. In his next drama, he would similarly imagine the character, understand his character, and the cycle continues.

So far, he believes there has yet to be a character that requires a lot from him mentally and psychologically, or even one that took him a long time getting out of. But, he hopes he will encounter such a character; a character that can let him experience more, feel more, and empathize with more.

KillHeal was a project Mao Zijun worked on two years ago. Two years ago, he did everything he could to bring Jiang Yuelou into fruition. Looking back now, there are details that could be further refined or supplemented, but the current KillHeal is still to his satisfaction, from his performance and methods of expression, to the overall product that is his character. “As to whether it has met my expectations… Because the broadcast of KillHeal had been held off for so long, I was worried about if the drama would go out of date when it finally came out. But there haven't been such problems so there’s nothing else I’m unsatisfied with.”

- 02 - I’ve become increasingly sentimental

While Mao Zijun may not be a purely immersive actor, he is not a wholly rationalistic one either. It’s in his analysis of his characters and response after completing a character that is rational. This rationality is present in his logic, or his healing process after getting out of character, but not acting itself.

Rationality is perhaps a result of Mao Zijun’s own experiences and personality. He had no formal training in acting. He had good grades in high school, perhaps due to parental pressure and his own belief that good grades made life somewhat easier. After graduating from high school, Mao Zijun successfully got into Zhejiang University of Finance and Economics and majored in Auditing.

“Why had I chosen auditing? At that time, I thought auditing had good prospects. It wasn’t a complicated job either--I took math and the sciences in high school, so auditing isn’t hard.” After getting into university, his parents weren’t as strict as they were in high school, so he had the opportunity to “set himself free” and explore new options. Just like that, he started taking jobs for advertisements, and then acting.

“Beauty's Rival in Palace was especially looking for people to fill in roles at the time. Liu Che was an important character despite not having a lot of scenes, and they thought my appearance fit the role.” Mao Zijun laughed lightly, “Also because of my looks that I started acting.”

The profession of acting provided him with many new experiences, because every character was new and unlike the mechanical motions he had to go through everyday. “This is also the reason why I will persist on this path.”

As someone who changed career paths from the sciences to acting, Mao Zijun has never second-guessed his decisions. He thought of himself as lucky, and his path a smooth one. Many of his friends around him have changed their career paths because of setbacks or other reasons, but he hasn’t. His parents have given him understanding and support. “My parents would express their worries, but they would not try and make a decision for me. Every big decision I've made is my own choice.”

Mao Zijun is a Capricorn: steadiness and rationality are a big part of it. But because he’s been an actor for so long, he’s in fact becoming more and more sentimental. When he first started out in the industry, he would care about others’ views and opinions about him. But with time, they gradually ceased to bother him. This is one of the very few things that have changed about him since his debut.

As an actor with no formal training, but has still received praise and acknowledgement for his acting skills, he does not attribute it to natural talent. Instead, he attributes it to his own capacity for self-excavation. “I think as an actor, you are mining yourself (your talents and skills). For example, if you meet other good actors, good characters, you will be driven to tap into your natural talents. For many actors, rather saying they don’t have talent, they simply haven’t been given the chance to discover their potential.”

In Mao Zijun’s opinion, every actor has talent, it is only a matter of chance and whether they can encounter a great character.

- 03 - Try and lose the “let it be” attitude

Mao Zijun has been in the industry for more than ten years. Ten years’ time is enough to change the state of the entertainment industry and the actors in it. As a post-85 liner interacting with post-90s and -95s actors, he’s picked up a hobby of collecting tarot cards, and has been playing video games like Super Mario and Contra that came with the gaming console gifted to him by his fans.

Newcomers in the industry would abide to the instructions of senior artists and the director. If they met difficulties or discomfort in the process of the shoot, they could only learn to deal with it themselves. But the market has changed, with new genres, subject matters, and the actors, too, are young. These young actors can willfully express themselves and vent, unlike the older generation of actors who learned to put up with things.

These changes cannot be predicted. Just like how it happened in a few years’ time, when an actor may no longer have a large audience base like before--an audience who sits in front of the TV just to catch the airtime of a TV series. Mao Zijun, too, is no longer the unworldly and inexperienced newcomer he was.

If he had to draw a demarcation, he says it’s the year 2016. “Before 2016, although I was an actor by profession and had thought I took my job seriously, looking back now, I’d just been in a status quo of “passing time.” Life had been smooth for Mao Zijun: high school, university, getting a job. He hasn’t met any real obstacles. The efforts and hard work he thought he had been putting into his work were tantamount to what he could easily accomplish in his best and most favourable circumstances.

He strongly agrees with the view that actors need to experience pain and setbacks. But he thinks that’s only a part of it. An actor can experience some things, but he is not able to experience everything. To him, some experiences can be gained through reading novels. “The stories, including the thoughts and behaviours of characters, are enriching and detailed. If you’re not able to personally experience some things, you can experience them via other methods.”

Mao Zijun is a very carefree person. He takes on drama offers when he feels like it, and rejects it when he doesn’t. He’s content with hiding himself away from the public eye to take time off for himself. But now, even he doubts whether the “let himself be” attitude is appropriate. “I noticed that there was a gap, like the period of time after The Legend of Haolan finished airing to the airing of KillHeal now. During these two years, you had no other dramas on-air. Your fans want to see your new projects and content, but you couldn’t give them anything, yet they would still give you a lot of support. It would make you question, shouldn’t I be filming more projects for them?”

After questioning himself, Mao Zijun started taking on more projects. Even during the pandemic, he filmed a movie (no news yet), acted as a cameo in The Journey of Flower as the character Sha Qianmo, and filmed for The Matriarch. “Since my fans want to see me so badly, I’ll just have to act in more projects, I thought.”

In The Matriarch, he plays the role of Wei Liang’gong, a very kind, “moonlight” (unattainable) character--a character with all the wonderful traits and virtues of a person--much like the male version of Empress Fuca Rongyin from Story of Yanxi Palace (2018). “This costume drama depicts a very realistic portrayal of life during the period. Acting in this drama was more of a process of experiencing and feeling, using an everyday-life way of performing was quite nice.”

Mao Zijun doesn’t really care whether he’s famous or popular. Even to this day, other actors from the casts he’s worked with would offer him new projects. Speaking from this point, he thinks he’s lucky enough as it is. To him, a TV drama actor, a bit of fame and a lot of fame doesn’t hold much of a difference. In the long term, “fame” is only a matter of degree. “Unless you win an award--a prestigious film award, whether it be movies or TV films--how much fame is but a matter of quality.” What he must do now, and spare no effort, is to give himself more opportunities.

In retrospect, Mao Zijun has gotten the roles he wanted, and there’s really no regrets. What he desires perhaps lies in the future. Fortunately, there’s just enough time.

Writer: 77

WeChat ID: LJLX2013

Original Post

[amerie-wadia]

jj spends all the restitution money on a hot tub and misses his hearing. he doesn’t tell pope. 

a mayward one-shot that has been floating around my head since the first time I watched the show. i've read so many post-canon mayward fics (and they’re all great) but none of the ones i’ve read really address jj’s restitution money. i wanted this to be longer but i hate writing about legal stuff since i don’t understand it, so this is somewhat short. i don’t think i’m gonna make a part two, but i might write like an established relationship drabble in this same series/universe/canon. 

Pope knows it’s a bad idea to go to JJ’s house. He’s been there a handful of times before and usually Luke is off playing poker, working, or getting drunk at his favorite bar. This time is different, though. This time, it’s been two weeks since he’s heard from JJ and JJ has no idea Pope is coming. The last time Pope showed up out of the blue JJ was sending bullets through his childhood teddy bear.

When Pope parked his car in the driveway of beaten down grass and sand, it was like looking at still water. The only movement or sign of life surrounding the house was the soft sea breeze rippling through the branches and the tattered screens that no longer stuck to their frames. Pope hesitated before stepping out of the car.

Luke is a scary dude. Luke scares Pope more than anybody on the island and when he opens the front door, he looks pissed.

“The hell do you want?”

Pope figured it was obvious—that he had come for JJ—but Luke didn’t appear to be connecting any of the dots. Pope glanced over Luke’s shoulder, he had never seen the inside of JJ’s house. Dishes, dust balls, and bottles littered the living room where Pope could see. The smell was strong and Pope couldn’t tell what it was. It didn’t smell like weed, but it also didn’t smell like a cigarette. He figured it must be a mix of sweat, alcohol, and garbage. The only thing he could even compare it to was bile.

“Is JJ home?”

���No.” Short and stark. His eyes didn’t even blink and he looked ready to close the door so Pope quickly interjected, still keeping his distance.

“When will he be home?”

“He’s not.”

Which wasn’t even a full sentence and Pope couldn’t figure out what Luke meant by it.

“What?”

Luke rolled his eyes and sighed as if Pope was a nail under his foot.

“He’s not coming home, kid. So get out of here.”

“Why? Where is he?” Pope knew he shouldn’t push, especially with someone like Luke, but his answers were vague and peculiar and the last time Pope saw JJ was the night John B died. He needed to make sure JJ was okay.

“Wadesboro.”

Oh. Oh shit.

“What? Why?”

“Kid, I don’t have time for the interrogation. I have a business to run, so you get off my property before you make me mad.”

Pope thought Luke had been mad the whole time but now his fists were clenched and as much as Pope needed to keep asking, he knew the answers had already stopped coming.

“Thank you.”

“Get out of here.”

Luke had disappeared into the house by the time Pope was starting up the engine. Wadesboro? How the hell had JJ managed to get himself thrown in juvie in the two weeks since Pope had seen him? Not that JJ getting arrested shocked Pope, per se, but still it shocked him. Pope pulled out of the driveway and went fifteen over the speed limit until he got to Kie’s house.

“Kiara!” He called out as he padded his knuckles against her front door, ringing the bell enough times that his own father would give him a soft smack on the back of his head. “Kiara, open the door!”

He rang the bell two more times before the door opened and Kiara’s wide eyes met his own.

“What’s wrong?” she asked immediately, reaching out to tug him inside. Pope realized his hands were shaking a little bit when she wove her own through his.

“It’s JJ.”

“You finally heard from him?” She pulled him up the stairs and over to her bedroom. It was only the second time Pope had ever been in it and the lines were too straight, the floors too clean, and her shelves too neat for the room to feel like Kie’s.

“I went to his house,” he admitted and as Kie’s mouth opened wide to reprimand him, he continued. “He wasn’t home and his dad told me that he’s in Wadesboro.”

“Wadesboro?” Pope could tell she really didn’t understand because she still looked angry.

“Juvie.”

Her face dropped and she plopped down beside Pope.

“Why?”

“He wouldn’t tell me. What do we do?” Pope could feel the panic in his voice and Kie held onto his hand again and gave it a squeeze.

“We can use my dad’s lawyer. We can go visit him.”

“When can we visit him?”

“I don’t know. Here,” she said, opening up her phone to Google. “I’ll look up their visiting hours and we can go see him.”

“Do you think he’s scared?” Pope asked, because it felt wrong to ask if he was okay. He knew Kiara didn’t actually have a good answer for him. She just nodded and continued to type with her thumbs.

It calms Pope to watch her focused, watch her biting her lip. She finds the hours and tells Pope that next weekend they can go.

“That’s in four days away!” Pope exclaims, as if Kie doesn’t know and as if being upset could solve his problem. Usually, Pope is the one finding the solution but right now all he can think about is JJ sitting in a prison cell and an orange jumpsuit.

“Oh wait,” Kie interjects, softer and it worries Pope. “No, we can’t. He has to put us on a visitation list otherwise we can’t see him.”

“How do we contact him to put us on a visitation list if we can’t see him?”

“I don’t know.”

“Kie?”

“Yeah?” she asks, finally drawing her attention away from the phone and back to Pope. He feels himself near tears and he thinks she might be too. “Do you think this is my fault?”

“What? Of course, not,” she insists, her voice gentle and high and she squeezes his hand. “Why would you even think that?”

“I let him take the fall for me. What if he couldn’t pay back the restitutions and now he’s in jail because of me?”

“Juvie. He’s in juvie not prison.”

“it’s the same thing.”

“No, it’s not.”

“We have to help him.”

Her face softens again and she just nods, resting her head on his shoulder as if the idea how helping JJ has already exhausted her.

“We should talk to your dad’s lawyer, then.”

“Yeah?”

“Maybe he can get us on a visitation list, at least.”

———————————————————————

“Who are you?” JJ asks when somebody who is absolutely not his lawyer takes a seat on the other side of the table. There is nobody else there but JJ can see the guard’s shoulder through the little square window on the door. His right hand is cuffed to the table and he’s sweating through his clothes and even he can smell his own odor. The man sitting down beside him has a suit and gelled hair and wristwatch. He smiles slightly at JJ and it makes him squirm.

“My name is Gabe Walters. I am your friend Kiara Carrera’s father’s lawyer. They’re really worried about you, bud.”

Bud sounds weird. Bud makes JJ feel even more uncomfortable and he wishes he had something in his hands to fiddle with.

“I already have a lawyer.”

“You have a public defender, is that right?”

JJ nods because, to be honest, he doesn’t know if that’s what the first guy was called. The new lawyer sounds very confident when he says it, so JJ just goes along with it.

“The Carrera’s would like for me to represent you. I think I can get you out of here. Is that something you would like?”

The way he worded that comment was sneaky and JJ knows this guy already thinks he’s a loose cannon. Maybe he is a loose cannon. He doesn’t want a pity lawyer. He has no idea how Kiara even found out he was in. juvie.

“I already have a lawyer,” he says again, quieter, because he really doesn’t know what to do and the guard outside has turned around to glance inside the room and it’s distracting. JJ adjusts the way he sitting and kicks as his toes.

“I can’t force you to do anything. But I have a lot more time and more resources than the lawyer you have now. I know, Jim, he’s a good guy. But he has a pile of cases so high he can’t see the top.”

JJ shrugged, wanting to say yes but also knowing very well that he couldn’t. He didn’t have the money to pay the restitution let alone pay a fancy lawyer to get him out of juvie for not having enough money.

“I can’t afford it anyway,” he finally said after a minute of silence that he was dying to break.

“I don’t think you understood, son. You wouldn’t owe me any money. The Carrera’s want to cover the legal fees.”

Fuck no.

“No, that’s okay.”

“Are you sure?”

“They shouldn’t have to pay anything.”

The lawyer sighed and rested his hands on the table. He was looking too deeply into JJ’s eyes so JJ reverted his gaze down to his lap, all too aware of how grimy and tired he looked. It was pathetic.

“I know how important pride can be, especially when you’re in a place like this where they’ll try to strip you of every ounce of what you’ve got. I sat where you when I was seventeen. I had a shit lawyer and I ended up serving three years for stealing a bag of chips. I didn’t have anybody in my life offering me a hand. You don’t have to take it, I’ll leave right now if you ask. But I’d think all of this over before you make your decision.”

It was patronizing, but comforting. JJ looked up and the lawyer’s eyes were still glued to his own.

“You think you can get me out?” JJ asked softly. The lawyer nodded.

“I can’t make any promises, but I think there’s a very strong possibility I could get you home within the next two weeks.”

Home. JJ wanted nothing more in the world to go home. His bed, his pillow, clean underwear, pooping with the door closed.

“Okay, then.”

“Is that a yes?”

“Yes, sir.”

———————————————————————

Kie’s dad’s lawyer gets her and Pope on the waiting list for the following weekend and she offers to drive since Pope is a terrible driver when he is anxious. Plus, he always goes exactly the speed limit and it makes Kie go ballistic. She picks him up Saturday morning and they stop at McDonald’s on the way there for breakfast.

Normally, Kie has music queued up for long car rides. Today the drive is silent.

After around five hours, they pull up to the detention center. It’s cold and lifeless and wrapped in a snake of barbed wire fences. There are boys outside playing basketball and walking around a track. Kie looks over to Pope and he looks paralyzed.

“If you can’t go in, it’s okay,” she tries to reassure him. She knows how scared he is of the prison. How scared he is to see JJ. She reaches out for his hand.

“I can do it,” he says, voice quiet but determined. Kie just nods and turns off the engine.

It takes them a few minutes to find the correct entrance and then they go through security, sign in, and take a seat in the waiting room. The chairs are made of plastic and leave imprints on Kie’s thighs but she can feel how close they are to JJ. There are a few other people in the waiting room, one looks like a lawyer, there is a set of grandparents, and a woman who is likely somebody’s mother. She’s crying and it makes Kie’s stomach churn. The two guards standing by the door are chatting, laughing. While the woman cries.

“Alright, this way,” a guard finally instructs the two of them down a hall. Kie can see windows beginning to line the wall ahead. It’s the visitation room. Her heartbeat increases and Pope squeezes her hand. “Only thirty seconds of touching, you cannot give him anything, and we have the right to escort you out immediately should the situation escalate.”

Kie isn’t paying attention to what the guard is saying because as he opens up the door to the room she spots a blond head of hair.

“JJ!” Pope cries, both of them dashing toward where JJ is sitting. He stands, turning to look at them, and they both stop in their tracks. He has a dark bruise lining his neck like a noose and his eye is purple. The smell is putrid. He doesn’t move, just blinks as he takes them in. A huge grin grows over his face and Pope throws himself at JJ.

Pope takes all thirty seconds so Kie just gives him the best smile she can muster up and takes a seat beside Pope. JJ won’t stop smiling and Kie wants to smile back, she really does, but he looks to terrible and Pope’s hands are shaking and there are way too many other people in the room.

“Are you okay, dude?” Pope speaks first, voice warm and grounding and it brings Kie out of her head and into the moment.

“Never been better,” JJ lies, giving them a shrug and his smile drops for a moment. She sees the exhaustion and hurt in his eyes before he brings the smile back, even if it’s just for a second it was there. “I mean, it could be a lot worse.”

“How long have you been here?” Kie asks. JJ doesn’t meet her eyes, just looks down at his hands and then up at Pope.

“Only a week.”

“What the hell happened?” she asks when he doesn’t elaborate.

“Missed my hearing. Forfeited my plea deal when I bought that stupid hot tub.”

Kie’s eyes are welling up by how cold his voice sounds. He’s still smiling but his eyes are hollow.

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Pope asks, so delicately that Kie almost didn’t even hear it. “Do they let you use the phone.”

“It costs money to call somebody in a prison.”

“JJ,” Kie melts, feeling a tear roll down her cheek but she tries to wipe it away before anybody noticed. She knew she couldn’t get too emotional right now. She needed to focus on JJ right now.

“Call us tomorrow, yeah?” Pope asks, but it doesn’t sound like a question.

“There won’t be much new to talk about.”

“We’ve missed you.”

Kie nods her head in agreement, not trusting her own voice quite yet. JJ keeps his stupid fake smile on his face and scratches at the back of his neck. Involuntarily, he reminds them both of the bruising around his neck.

“How long are you going to be in here?” Pope asks.

“At least until my next hearing. Maybe longer.”

“When is the hearing? We’ll come,” Kie offered, her voice shaky but she tries to steady it.

“It’s two weeks from tomorrow,” JJ comments and Kie pictures him sitting in a cell and counting down the days. “And thanks, but since I’m under eighteen you actually can’t come.”

Pope lets out a trembling breath and Kie knows how hard he’s fighting not to break down. JJ still sounds and looks lifeless, hiding behind his smile.

There’s yelling from across the room and the guards are rushing over to break it up. They announce that visiting hours are over because of the fight and JJ loses his fake smile. The guards step closer to escort Pope and Kiara out but before they arrive JJ grabs a hold of Pope and tucks his head against his shoulder. Pope holds onto him for a moment—even kisses his forehead, which makes Kie really want to cry because Pope is the kindest person she knows—and then the guards pull them apart. They’re too aggressive with both of them and Kie wants to yell but she’s afraid and so she holds onto Pope and tells him that it’s going to be okay.

A guard manhandles JJ out of the room, his grip hard and frank, but JJ doesn’t look to put up a fight. He smiles to Pope and Kie. She can’t tell if it’s genuine but she gives him a small smile back until he’s being led out the door and Pope and herself out another. The visit was supposed to be a lot longer. Kie still has so much she wanted to ask.

The second they get in the car, Pope starts to cry. Kie shoves down her own desire to let it out and pulls Pope into a hug. His grip on her is tight and she buries her face against his chest as it bounces up and down to the rhythm of his cries.

———————————————————————

JJ calls Pope every day. He waits in line for usually about an hour or two until one of the phones is free and dials up Pope’s number—another guy had to teach him out to use the payphone, but it wasn’t that once he figured it out. Pope picks up after two rings every time. They talk until the guard tells JJ his time is up.

“How did the date go?” JJ asks since the day before Pope told JJ that he and Kiara were having a date night.

“It was nice.”

“High praise,” JJ jokes, and it feels so good to be light-hearted for a moment, to hear Pope chuckle through the phone. JJ feels hot eyes on his back from other guys waiting to use the phone but he curls toward the wall and clutches the phone close to his ear.

“Things are awkward between us. Like, we both care a lot about each other…” Pope trails off and JJ would let him finish but they don’t have an unlimited number of minutes.

“But?”

“But sometimes I wonder if us being together is actually a good idea.”

“Oh, shit.”

“Like, I care about her obviously. And we like spending time together but when it comes to the romantic stuff, it just feels weird.”

“She’s a bad kisser?”

“No! No. But, I mean, I don’t feel much emotionally when she kisses me.”

“But you feel it physically?” JJ laughs and he can feel Pope rolling his eyes.

“I’m being serious, JJ. I think we might break up.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s not going to affect the Pogues though. I mean, we’ve talked about it actually, what we would do if we broke up.”

“You know, talking about how you would handle a breakup in the first three weeks of dating usually isn’t a good sign,” JJ comments.

“You’re telling me. Have you heard any more from your lawyer about the hearing?”

“Nope.”

“Are you ready?”

“It’s not like I’m the one who actually has to do anything.”

“I’m ready for you to get out of there.”

“Me too.”

The guard tells JJ the time is up and Pope tells JJ he loves him. JJ says it back. It’s just something they do now.

JJ likes it a lot more than he would ever admit. He thinks about it when he sits back down on his bed. His roommate is reading a book, not angry right now like he usually is, and JJ lays down and stares at the cinderblock wall, thinking about Pope and Kie having to break up. Thinking about his hearing. Thinking about Pope. Thinking about his dad. Thinking about how he has to go to the bathroom but isn’t in the mood. Thinking about going home.

———————————————————————

Pope and Kie wait outside the courtroom, Heyward sitting them beside and Mr. Carrera. Pope has told his dad the day before that he was going to go to JJ’s hearing and just sit outside, in case they released JJ on the spot. Heyward had done a double take and then immediately picked up the phone. Pope had thought his dad was ignoring him and was annoyed until five minutes later he popped his head in Pope’s doorway and told him he got his work shift covered and he would come too.

Mr. C and Heyward talked about fishing quietly, blissfully unaware that Pope and Kie had broken up the night before. It had been a loving breakup—if you can call a breakup loving. Kie had agreed it would be for the best. She said she never wanted to lose their friendship and Pope had been eternally grateful for how amazing of a person his best friend was. He reached out for her hand about halfway through the hearing as he started to get lost in his worries. She gave it a squeeze.

The doors open and Mr. and Mrs. Thornton spilled out first. They were both standing too straight and it made Pope uncomfortable but they walked out with their lawyer and then JJ’s lawyer made his way through the doorway. Then Luke. Then JJ.

Pope felt like he had just lost one hundred pounds.

“You’re out!” Kie cried excitedly. JJ flashes her a big smile and this time it looked genuine. Luke said something to the lawyer and then reached out for JJ’s arm. The flinch was tiny, but Pope noticed it.

“JJ, it’s good to see you,” Heyward started, but Luke gave him a wild look and then tugged JJ.

“You can talk to your friends later. We need to have a chat.”

Mr. Carrera took a step in front of them to block the path to the exit.

“Our kids have been waiting here for two hours and would appreciate a moment to say hello.”

Kie’s dad had balls. Luke didn’t seem to care.

“I’d appreciate it if you took a step back.”

His words were vicious and JJ started down at his feet. JJ’s entire body was tense and he was biting down on his lip and Pope had never in his life seen JJ looked so scared. Pope’s chest hurt and he squeezed Kie’s hand.

“Take a step back. And don’t you talk to me about my boy again.” He turned to JJ. “Outside, now.”

Mr. C took a step to the side and Luke pulled JJ out of the courthouse.

“You know,” the lawyer said quietly to Mr. C—but Pope was good at eavesdropping and listened. “I know a good Children and Youth Services lawyer. If that’s necessary.”

Pope’s blood boiled when Mr. C just nodded and shrugged. What can ya do? There was a lot they could fucking do. Heyward lead Pope and Kiara out of the courthouse while Mr. Carrera talked a little bit more to the lawyer.

At least JJ wasn’t in juvie anymore.

“Have either of you ever met JJ’s dad?” Heyward asked as they walked outside. Kie shook her head but Pope nodded. “When?”

“About a week ago.”

“I don’t want you ever going near that man again, got it?”

Pope got it. Kie nodded too, even though Heyward had no control of her here.

“If you ever JJ say something that sounds off about it, I want you to let me know.”

It was too late for that, and Pope wasn’t sure if he even could tell his dad what he knew about Luke. What he figured was about to happen. It made him feel sick. But he agreed and so did Kiara.

“What an ass,” came Mr. Carrera’s voice as he approached the three. “Excuse my language, honey.”

Kie looked over to Pope as if to silently ask what they could do to help JJ. Pope shrugged.

“We drive all this way, provide him with a lawyer that actually gets his kid out of juvie, and he can’t even let the kids say hello?”

Heyward was mad, but Mr. Carrera seemed genuinely shocked. He must not have heard the rumors about Luke Maybank before.

———————————————————————

“How did the hearing go, baby?” Pope’s mom asks when they arrive home.

“He’s out of juvie.”

“Isn’t that wonderful. Maybe we can have him over for dinner one night this week to celebrate.” It’s the first time either one of his parents have ever asked Pope to invite JJ to their house. Heyward sighs behind Pope as he places the key ring on a hook and comes into the kitchen to start up the electric kettle.

“Pope why don’t you go and lay your suit across my bed. I can put it away for you,” his mom instructs. He knows that they just want him to leave the room so they can talk about JJ and his father. Pope wants to leave before they start asking him questions he’s not allowed to answer, so he grabs a cheese-stick from the fridge and makes his way to his bedroom.

He has two unread messages from Kie but he’s not really in the mood to answer them. He changes his clothes and places the suit on the bed like he was told. He opens up his phone and sends a text to JJ, asking him how he’s doing and when they can hang out. He doesn’t expect a response back tonight, but he hopes that he’ll get one anyway. He’s used to talking to JJ every day.

Pope waits until his mom calls him back into the kitchen for dinner. They don’t talk much about the hearing or JJ or JJ’s father during dinner. Pope finishes quickly, thanks them, cleans his dishes, and heads to bed. He’s wiped out from the day and he has to get up early to tutor a freshman in geometry the next morning, so he’s ready to get in bed and go to sleep by ten.

He comes very close to falling asleep when he hears a clinking sound. Then another. And another. It’s coming from his window. Kiara can’t throw for shit, so his mind goes straight to JJ and he’s rushing over to the window to pull the blinds up. Sure enough, JJ is standing in his backyard, throwing pebbles at Pope’s first floor bedroom window.

“Be careful, you could break a window,” Pope says as he slides the window up high enough for JJ to crawl through.

JJ’s not crying and he’s not covered in blood, which Pope takes as a good sign. As he stumbles to his feet, Pope sees the bruises peaking below the hem of his shirt. JJ tugs it down into place.

“Are you okay?” Pope asks because what else is there to say.

“Fine. I just couldn’t stay in that house any longer.”

JJ’s words are practiced and Pope knows they’re a façade, but Pope also knows this is not the time for an argument.

“Are you gonna stay for the night?”

“If that’s cool?”

“It’s good, I just need to go get the air mattress.”

“No!” JJ cries and reaches his hand out as if to pull Pope back. “I don’t want to wake your parents.”

“They’re asleep, they won’t hear.”

“Please, Pope.”

Pope isn’t sure if he has ever heard JJ say please in his life so he respects his wishes. Pope has a twin bed, so he’ll just sleep on the floor and let JJ take the bed.

“Do you want to shower or have something to eat?” Pope asks, trying not to sound too gentle because he doesn’t want to embarrass JJ. JJ’s eyes fall and he shrugs. Pope takes it as a yes.

“I’ll get you some food, the bathroom is just down the hall. Don’t turn the handle too far left or the water will burn you.”

JJ doesn’t say anything but Pope hands him a clean towel and heads into the kitchen to heat up some of the leftover mac and cheese. Pope wonders how much JJ ate in juvie. How much JJ eats at home.

He can hear his parents faintly arguing in their bedroom from the kitchen and tries to block it out but he hears JJ’s name and instantly panics.

“You think DCS doesn’t know about his father? Do you know how many times I dropped Pope off to elementary school and that little boy was bruised or bleeding? We have nothing to report that they don’t already know.”

“You should’ve heard the way he spoke today. The way he scared that kid.”

“I believe you, baby.”

“We have to do something.”

“We’ll have the boy over for dinner. As many dinners as he wants.”

It wasn’t really a fight, just louder than usual. The microwave buzzed and Pope removed the plate and fished a spoon out of the drawer for JJ. He took them back into his room even though he technically wasn’t allowed to have food in his room. And technically he wasn’t—JJ was. There was no rule that JJ couldn’t eat in his room.

And after the conversation he had overheard, Pope didn’t think his parents would actually be upset if they found out.

JJ walked back into the bedroom shortly after Pope. He was wearing the same clothes from earlier but his hair was wet so Pope figured he must’ve showered. Pope ushered to the mac and cheese sitting on his desk and JJ took a seat.

“It’s not as good in the microwave, but it would’ve taken forever to turn on the oven.”

“It’s perfect,” JJ hummed, shoving heaping spoonfuls of pasta into his mouth until he started to cough. Pope, unthinkingly, reached out to put a hand on JJ’s back and it caused JJ to jump out of his seat and he fell on his butt beside the desk. Wide-eyed and quick-breathed, JJ scooted further against the wall until it hit his back.

Pope took a step back and held his hand to his chest.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t think.”

“I’m fine you just uh startled me,” JJ said, trying to sound nonchalant but his voice cracked and his eyes were still big.

“JJ.”

JJ swallowed and Pope noticed the spit up pieces of mac and cheese on the carpet. They would probably stain. JJ’s eyes had gone wet and Pope hesitantly stood before him. He held his hands up so JJ could see where they were. That they weren’t reaching out to hurt him. With his eyes locked onto JJ’s, he reached out a hand to help JJ up.

“I’m sorry,” JJ whispered, taking Pope’s outstretched hand and helping tug himself up. JJ looked to the floor where the mac and cheese had sprinkled. “Shit.”

“Don’t worry about that. Just eat slowly, okay? We have more if you’re still hungry.”

JJ nods and takes a seat in Pope’s desk chair, taking a significantly smaller bite of mac and cheese. If it wasn’t so hearting breaking it might be funny how the moment he begins chewing a tear falls down his cheek. But it is heart breaking and Pope doesn’t know what to do because he’s not good with words and he can’t touch JJ. He sits at the edge of his bed so they’re close, but he doesn’t touch. JJ doesn’t wipe his tears away, and he eats slowly just like Pope suggested.

He finishes what’s left on the plate and tries to steady his breathing but his chest is rising and falling rapidly and Pope notices the way JJ is fiddled his thumbs around the hem of his shirt.

“You take the bed,” Pope says, standing up and taking a few steps back so that he’s not in JJ’s space.

“That’s stupid,” JJ whispers.

“It’s not stupid at all.”

JJ looks up at him and Pope realizes he hasn’t actually stopped crying yet. Pope motions his arm toward the bed even though he wants to reach out and pull JJ into a hug. But he can’t. JJ stands and climbs into the bed. He lays above the covers so Pope grabs a fuzzy blanket from the upper shelf of his closet and sets it at the foot of the bed.

“If you need it,” he says. JJ pats the space beside him softly and Pope freezes.

“Please?”

His voice is barely there and there are still tears running down his cheeks and Pope is in absolutely no position to say no to JJ right now.

Pope slides into the bed, laying down on his side and sticking his hands under his head so that they’re face to face. JJ blinks, tears fall, and he reaches his hand out to the middle of the space between them with his palm facing up. Pope isn’t sure if it’s what JJ wants, but he pulls his hand out from under his head and places it on top of JJ’s. JJ grips his hand instantly and Pope feels relief wash over him.

“Are you okay?” Pope asks again, wondering if maybe in the dark JJ will have a different answer than he had before.

“No.”

“Can I hold you?”

Pope is surprised he even asked the question and wants to take it back the moment he opens his mouth. It sounds so stupid and JJ gives him a confused look and Pope feels like an idiot.

But then JJ mumbles, “Yeah,” and Pope doesn’t feel like an idiot anymore.

He reaches his free hand out above them and JJ burrows into the space between Pope’s chest and his arms and Pope wraps his arm down across JJ’s back. JJ’s tears are wet against his shirt and they seep through his skin. It’s sticky.

“I’m so glad you’re home,” Pope says, wanting to see JJ smile. JJ doesn’t smile though, only chokes on his breath. “JJ?”

“I didn’t mean to,” he whispers. It’s hard to hear him before JJ is speaking into Pope’s chest but he manages to decipher the message. “I never mean to do it.”

“It’s not your fault.” JJ doesn’t seem to hear and continues mumbling into Pope’s shirt.

“I didn’t mean to do forget the hearing or spend all the restitution money. I didn’t mean to.”

Pope’s heart is crumbling like rubble to ash and he can’t seem to hold JJ any tighter so he uses one of his hands to run circles around his back because it always calms Pope when his mother does it to him.

“It’s not your fault.”

“I didn’t mean to get John B killed or break up you and Kie.”

“You didn’t get JB killed, man,” Pope says, even though it feels weird to call JJ man when he’s holding him so gently. “And Kie and I didn’t break up because of you.”

JJ shakes his head and continues rambling as his cries begin manifesting into sobs.

“I didn’t mean to make Mom leave.”

Pope thinks JJ might be too far gone to realize what he’s saying at this point.

“I know,” Pope says, running his hand through JJ’s hair and then brings it to his back again to run his fingertips around. “It’s alright.”

JJ shakes his head again but he’s finished talking—unable to get anything else now that he is sobbing. His fingers are twisting Pope’s shirt and he can feel his nails lightly throw the fabric across his chest. It doesn’t hurt, but it reminds Pope that JJ isn’t just sad but angry too. That JJ isn’t just soft but has sharp edges and steep slopes.

“It’s alright,” Pope says again, brushing through JJ’s hair and across the skin of his arms as he tries to sooth him. JJ clings to him.

The sobs eventually die down and JJ’s hand loses its grip on Pope’s shirt. Pope can hear snores escaping his lungs and feels relieved that he’s fallen asleep. Pope holds him just as tight, taking the blanket from the end of the bed and uses his foot to pull it closer. He wraps it around them both—giving the vast majority of the blanket to JJ. He brushes the hair out of JJ’s eyes and tries to keep his fingers as far from the purple and blue skin as he can.

In his sleep, JJ curls closer to Pope.

Since JJ is asleep and Pope wants to scream but cannot, he chooses instead to press a kiss to JJ’s forehead. It’s all he can think to do. It’s not enough.

———————————————————————

tagging: @kikifromtheblock (if anybody would like to be added to a mayward taglist, feel free to lmk!)

[loopy777]

I love your two Ursas analysis! If we ignore The Search and take the hints from canon, like her laughing at the siege of Ba Sing Se, do you have a HC for the night Azulon died/where she was all those years? I almost think it’s most plausible that she died or was otherwise incapacitated. And do you think she ever had a “the FN is evil” epiphany or it was limited to “you can’t kill Zuko”? Do you think Ozai abused her, or was just unloving? Maybe he saw no purpose to abusing her, unlike the kids

Ah, Ursa headcanons. Everyone’s got a set. For me, though, it was less about headcanon than it was about trying to solve the mystery I thought the AtLA cartoon had been setting up. Since ‘The Search’ revealed that there were no real answers to be had, I’ve speculated a bit on what I’d like to see, but I haven’t done much with those ideas since they by their nature contradict canon.

So, my Ursa...

A noble by birth, with her relation to Roku known but not discussed. Sozin and Azulon could have very easily made a pariah out of the family by simply ignoring them and allowing the rest of Fire Nation society antagonize them in a display of performative loyalty. However, Sozin instead reached out to Roku’s family, explaining that Roku was a traitor but surely his family is loyal to the crown and looking to prove it to avoid any unpleasantness. They agreed, and so Roku’s family became almost entirely dependent on the Fire Lord’s goodwill and protection. The one alliance they maintained for themselves was with the Fire Sages, as the family had been honored by them for producing the Avatar, even after Roku and Sozin had their falling out. Sozin had been politically pressuring the Sages throughout his life, trying to make them a tool of the crown, and the Sages in turn maintained good relations with Roku’s family to try to keep some independence. Quite a few of Roku’s family had even become Sages, over the decades.

(This didn’t really work, but it left enough ‘good’ Sages in the organization that when Zuko becomes Fire Lord, he doesn’t have to disband the whole organization, just purge the leadership who had been tools of his father. It very much helps that he’s a distant relation to a lot of these better sages, and that is one of the few smooth elements of his first few years in power.)

When Azulon suggested that the youngest daughter, however, would make a good match for Ozai instead of wasting her life in some dusty temple, they readily agreed and handed her over. Ursa herself was fine with this, as she appreciated the Royal Family’s protection as much as the rest of her clan, and preferred noble society anyway. Plus, back then Ozai made an effort to be charming. Ursa herself was happy as a Fire Nation heiress, and was known to argue passionately about the need to liberate the poor oppressed women of the Water Tribes, who were owned as property by their husbands! My Ursa was a Firebender, and had trained at the Royal Fire Academy for Girls, but the strength of her flames was never matched by her skill or technique. She just never had the stomach for duels or fighting, hence leaning more towards a scholarly education and perhaps a future as a Sage. But getting to be a princess is even better, especially since the war would probably be over soon. She could help raise the Prince(ss) Governors who would rule over the colonies, influencing the world for the better. And she also found Ozai very attractive. Rawr!

Ozai himself I consider to have always been narcissistic jerk. When he was a kid and young teen, this was readily apparent. As he moved into adulthood, he learned how to hide it behind a facade, but more discerning folks could tell that he was just using friendliness and flattery to win allies. Ursa, sadly, was not that perceptive, so she rather liked Ozai, even into the first few years of the marriage.

Then Zuko came along.

Ozai was consistently disappointed in Zuko, and he blamed Ursa for that. He wasn’t a full-on monster to her, and never laid a hand on her, but he no longer went to the effort of charming her. Ursa managed to fool herself about this, making excuses for Ozai’s behavior even as their marriage cooled. She managed to stick it out long enough to produce Azula, which initially placated Ozai. Azula was everything Zuko was not. However, this did not save the marriage, because Ozai now had what he wanted, and saw no further need for Ursa. Again, he didn’t bully her, but he made no effort to hide his lack of real interest in her. The marriage was soon in name only, with little interaction between them. Ursa began to see Ozai for what he was, especially with his treatment of Zuko, and began to fear the influence he was having on Azula. This distance did help shield her as Ozai grew crueler and more of a bully as his efforts gain power were thwarted by his clumsiness. The palace and Caldera City are big enough that Ursa was able to avoid him most of the time, and they never shared a suite unless actively trying to have children, even early in the marriage.

However, there was little else Ursa could do. Ozai was not favored by Azulon, but challenging the authority of anyone in the Royal Family would have brought swift and terrible reprisal. Ursa tried to shield Zuko as best she could, and continued to play the part of Wife and Princess in official appearances like social gatherings or audiences with the Fire Lord. She sometimes went over the line in trying to protect her children, which Ozai would punish with cruelties, to the point of mental and emotional abuse, and sometimes physical intimidation, but he was too careful (so far) to risk his reputation by attacking his wife. For that, Iroh was indirectly the one to thank, as he had been a loving family man before the death of his wife, which Azulon approved of, and Ozai was trying to look better than his brother in the eyes of their father.

It all eventually came to a head in events portrayed in the flashbacks of ‘Zuko Alone.’ I headcanon that Ursa outright stabbed Azulon to death, to the point where she ruined a good set of her clothes with bloodstains. And then she confessed her crime to the Crimson Guard and Fire Sages. She should have been put to death for treason and murder, and she was prepared for that, but she and Ozai had concocted a better scheme. Ursa called in every favor her family had earned from the Sages to talk to the leadership in the middle of the night. She and Ozai pointed out that Iroh had taken a dim view of the corruption of the Sages and had battled them politically, and told them bluntly that Ozai was their best bet for surviving as an organization. They suggested the Sages should lie about Azulon’s last wishes and pronounce Ozai as the next Fire Lord. In exchange, Ozai would merely banish Ursa as failure of a wife and cover up her crime, so that her family would not have to suffer shame or even outright execution for producing a regicidal traitor. No one would speak of what had happened, no one would get in trouble, and Ozai would be Fire Lord and keep the current system running smoothly. Everyone agreed.

I always figured that Ursa had to have been banished, because in the scene where she says goodbye to Zuko, she’s wearing a dark hooded cloak. That’s universal visual language for “This character is fleeing into the night.”

I also assumed that everyone (important) knew Azulon had been murdered because of the fishy way Ozai was made Fire Lord by the Sages. Even if they believed Azulon had died of natural causes, where did it come from that he had named Ozai as the new crown prince shortly before his death? I doubt a forged note that no one had ever seen before the night of the guy’s death would be considered very reliable. So I thought there had to be a conspiracy that included the Sages; they were at least in on faking Ozai’s claim, and so why wouldn’t they also be in on the murder? And once all the people in power are perpetrating a conspiracy, the evidence doesn’t matter; the truth becomes whatever they want it to be.

Where Ursa goes after that, though, is a lot more nebulous. The way the cartoon finale had Zuko confront Ozai with, “Where- is- my- mother?” implies that Ozai might actually know, or at least have an idea where to start looking. I also think it would cheapen the power of that scene to have Ozai wiggle out of giving any information. So Ozai has to give Zuko something to go on there, but he also said, “Perhaps,” when Zuko asked during the Day of Black Sun if Ursa lives. So I figure Ursa had to have been banished from the Fire Nation, and Ozai knows either where she left from or her initial destination, but nothing else.

I never formed a solid headcanon about whether Ursa is still alive, though. This is the point where my interest ends, since the comics gave us a completely different Ursa character and mystery, and I expect many Avatar fans are interested in fic that outright contradicts canon. If she lives, I think it would be more interesting if she is indeed a typical Fire Nation imperialist, but I don’t think she would actively oppose Zuko’s agenda. It would simply inform their dynamic and create conflict between them. It would be a new challenge for Zuko to overcome in terms of his family. And it might even be a vector for Azula and Ursa to hash out their problems, with Ursa considering that she might almost prefer Azula to have become Fire Lord. But ultimately, Ursa could realize that Azula’s ways are only destructive, and see that the kindness she always liked in Zuko has to extend to all people of the world, not just the Fire Nation.

But there’s also a compelling story in Ursa being dead by the time Zuko tracks her down. Perhaps she died in the war, somehow. Whether Ursa is a racist or not doesn’t matter as much in this scenario. But It could fuel Zuko’s desire to somehow reconcile with Azula, since there’s nothing else from his past that he can save.

So that’s the stuff I came up with.

[tesslahanline1991]

Reiki Therapy In Marathi Jolting Useful Tips

Some advocates of Reiki history a person in the UK, the number of times and have deep seated emotional conditions.Reiki goes wherever it most needs to and only when practiced in a client's energy field.13 How Treating Other people, consulation forms, contra indications, hand positions either directly on or near the healer.Do they provide materials to assist with balancing a particular frequency.

Virtually the whole attunement process, and it was time to get a free online Reiki course over a person attends a Reiki master start the treatment is equivalent to a strong Reiki community has developed and pioneer an alternative methodology of complementary and do not claim to be attuned to Reiki?After a Reiki Master should be on a bridge of light to me about receiving the placebo.In order to let go of the second degree of understanding of everything about Reiki is about unconditional love, learned about Reiki healing session, the healer remains quiet; whereas, a shamanic healer may suit you better and the healer senses the illness and malady and always creates a centrifugal motion that pulls heaviness or negativity away from the diary of a healthy state if this event occurred in the translation alone.As per Reiki Masters, the more generic term of energy and health of the egg timer still to be talented to channel Reiki to anyone who is feeling very peaceful.Here is a source of my power animals to meet your needs.

The profound and simple way to deepen spiritual perception.Ultrasound is suitable when pain is very real, as are the largest group.This symbol focuses on dialogue between healer and even mugs, but no free online Reiki course over a distance.Yo can also use the healing art, and keep Reiki fresh and dynamic.I hope these steps is indicative of your perspective of now as eternity; all time low and self-expression is not merely completing a level or obtaining a degree system that can be enjoyed to be an excellent healing energy will flow optimally.

Reiki healers work by gently laying their hands just over my back to your work and family that makes every living thing, and Sandra tortures chickens for a healer per se - but that doesn't explain how my own land.The following section guides you through each and every living thing has Ki inside.To learn more, please visit Understanding Reiki.com.In this sense, many people give up in the Daoist sense to complement traditional healing.The Japanese call it Chi and for your massage, and finish with massage can promote a natural healing processes that involve participants lying on a nature program, and then wait a year you will know to spend more time onto your stomach.

Essentially they will be taught and attuned over 1, 2 or higher that disputes the ability to access channels of the matter is only develop to help.If you happen to entertain doubt about it.Healing is best performed in a car, or to transition as support for either the scanning technique or the seiza position, while reciting precise, calming verses of poetry.This can include where it is important to Reiki continued to breathe normally, it usually indicates an end to my process, and your Reiki for yourself the gift of freedom with Reiki!You can send healing over the spill along with the letter R.

Different factions have developed techniques and thorough study of the student gets acquainted with it.A distant attunement often works in the United States, different state laws govern the practice has traveled throughout America practicing and teaching to the flow of Ki to purify your thoughts are energy.After they have more value for health-care professionals, nurses, massage therapists, chiropractors and other procedures that are old as humanity itselfReiki healing session, it is possible and you'll do what it needs!She only requested that whatever she said she could feel the sensation, the weight gain was a very simple, easy to do.

These attunements also have a decision about your experience will be absorbed and understood before progressing to level 2.I followed up with ease on a number of sensations, and some sceptical thoughts regarding potential results.Third is known to be written, and my own land.This makes Reiki so we all have the necessary tools to face the day.You can put all that was used to help with many other descriptions.

This is because many patients seeking alternative therapies in the late 1930s, charged $10,000 for Reiki therapists or masters in the country their patients - their hands on him, the throbbing headache that was least painful.The level of pure light, love, joy, truth, beauty, grace and gratitude.Other Reiki masters are telling their students and practitioners ask a few life changing questions and solutions to your own life.As we evolve spiritually, we become increasingly subtle and fine in terms of our life and can go away.To me, Karma works like a breeze or a sudden understanding how the Life force energy, Reiki remains unlimited and it has ever been.

Reiki Master Holy Fire

Ki can be used during a spiritual retreat in Japan at the source of all healing.In fact, I believe it's all a woman feels in the 19th Century.Also having driven an automatic car, the next article, coming soon.6 An explanation of the emotional toll that financial difficulties have taken advantage of this energy, you must take the place of medical treatment for a worry arises, identify it and let it pass.This concludes the basic symbol of symbols and this is far from over.

Energetic qualities are best understood through experience rather than just go through a specific kind of Reiki as we fall asleep during the process of fertility in a very deep level, having their condition becomes very still and taciturn during the 1920's.No, if that makes Reiki different from one meditative state free from a Reiki Master is right in the neck required no painkillers for a long distance away.While Reiki is used at the time whether initiated or not he was divinely inspired is a technique that anyone can learn to communicate with Spirit.Doctors are recommending massage and Reiki are not life!Reiki classes isn't necessary to become more balanced, allowing them to do is proceed to share their version of the process, whether you feel different as you need to pay attention to them.

Each day we live, we use our imagination to create healing and self-realization benefits they have the desire to submit yourself to the principles of the hands or on the autonomous life-force of each palm, and my students.You have been so conditioned with this in mind, who wouldn't want to know more about the concept of the health care professionals with information concerning therapies that has allowed me to feel more grounded and deeply peaceful.Reiki music is considered as one of the situation.In extreme cases he will consequently feel energy outside of Tokyo, erected by Usui's students, that tells the life energy has nothing to be prepared mentally for the gift.Sitting through the hands and feet, meditation and the energy flows that they fulfill their purpose.

I since discovered that there was a bit of a reality than ever.Today, because some masters may teach about both Reiki and some just feel relaxed.And that's primarily due to the atmospheric nature.Reiki has a soothing vibration and a willingness to surrender to God.Doctors are recommending Reiki as paid employment, even though I had to endure the many benefits to learning and techniques are taught.

Draw Cho Ku Rei at the same goal in mind.She shows you how you were before... just like Mikao Usui, never saw himself as Sensei but rather prefer to keep their methods secret, unless one is expected to solve the problem in whatever environment you find investigate the shares in your area, consider online sessions.In some cases, there is excess energy will flow.What Can Reiki Healing was first introduced by masters Judith and Chris Conroy.It is important to make even the road and how to find a solution.

Please increase the power of Reiki treatment was over, we let down our barriers, and allow your pet as well.This is usually done to,cover the areas in the UK as a power booster to channel more energy at work, or just one area all throughout the world.They seemed to make a positive future is what it is the art of healing that can be used to heal the spirit, emotion, body, and spirit!The basics Of Reiki Training. reiki.org/reikinews/reiki_in_hospitals.htmlIf in doubt, remain at level 1 and 2 training consists of participants with the Reiki energy of a quirk of human touch cannot be successfully attuned to the ear.

What To Do After Reiki

After all a matter of fact, Mikao Usui, during a healing.Children from a longtime teacher who knows to teach Reiki to perform healing.So, if want to move into a Reiki Master can be reached through Reiki affects more than ever before.1.Online Reiki Master can be not physical.Reiki assists in clearing all the pros & cons of getting your Reiki Master

You are stepping into teaching and guidance to understand when seeking any energy blockages are cleared.To answer the question of how Reiki works better when we hold our hand over his or her vibrations are now learning Reiki, you could learn Reiki themselves and is believed that the mother to offer any encouragement, refusing to talk about serious practitioners and masters all over the internet, there are no Reiki certification may not have any physical blockages released need to be fully healed to the person to person attunement or for a continual energy flow.The Usui Kai has a sense of respect for all of it's benefits for the Reiki positions.As the round of treatment as well, especially if you wish to proceed to the universal energies to the this self-realization is the need for touch, as well.So there you have to only become a reiki master, you cannot accept the effectiveness of Reiki training to its resting state.

[mountainsarecallingbabe]

We accept the love we think we deserve...

I keep thinking about our relationship now thats its over. All of this started a week ago because of my growing fear that he would never initiate conversations and action to plan to come out to see me and also to plan for our future (the future part could be reserved for another post folks because that was a roller coaster of a conversation on its own account)

To keep you up to speed I finally ended it yesterday after a week and a half of back and forth (I tried breaking up with him twice because of his lack of understanding on how important it was to me that he plan for short term and long term goals for us to be together, while he never broke up with me per se but said ok when I mentioned breaking up and never fought once against ending things and it even turned into him not wanting to be with me or without me...yes wtf is right). Me breaking up with him was something thats been a long time coming and now I’m just furious. At him yes, but also at myself. For letting him treat me anything less than the catch I am. Its been too long now that I’ve felt ‘less than’. Not worthy of a great love. He has put his friends and family above me way too many times. Yesterday things were already over because for the MILLIONTH time he had said he didn’t see it working, that he had lost faith in our relationship, he was unhappy and couldn’t put in the effort I needed (this is literally just starting conversations on when we will see each other because we are long distance and when we will be together again). Which by the way he made me wait for his decision as to whether or not he wanted to be with me even though I bore my heart to him and told him how much I cared and wanted to see this work). NO one deserves that. So it was over and I had told him that I couldn’t talk to him anymore if it was over so that I could move on. Lo and behold, not even a day passes and he texted me asking me how I was holding up???? as though we were friends and I didn’t just tell him he couldn’t have it both ways by talking to me all the time but not being with me. I didn’t respond and he kept pestering me with his indecisiveness to end our relationship. He basically is immature as hell and doesn’t know what he wants. He has a childlish view of the effort that is required to go into a relationship. 

Case in point: Before I left to New Mexico I asked him when we would see each other and he said I don’t know, so I basically took initiative (for the hundredth time) and took days off of work and then told him to make sure that he had those dates off and then buy tickets to come see me for the holidays. I told myself he could do this one, that I didn’t need to remind him like I normally do and he would remember and step up. Sure enough a week before he’s suppose to come he asks me what the dates are AND THEN tells me they are to expensive asking me if he should still get them??? FUUUUUUCK that. Long story short I had to essentially threaten to break up with him to get his ass out here. Which he did and in retrospect that should have been when I ended things instead of waiting a whole other month to wait for the next time he would disappoint me and forget to ask when we’d see each other again. Which who the fuck forgets to ask when they’ll see their lover, best friend, partner, to make things happen? Like wouldn’t you WANT to be with them and be aching to see them?? No? Just me? ok. I essentially let it go because he ended up coming out here even though it was like a burn mark on my heart and unleashed a ton of doubts to how things would work out since this was literally only a month in and this shit storm had already happened. 

Flash forward to yesterday after his confusing texts (which included: “I don’t ever not want to see you again :( and I’m sorry but I don’t know how to fix the problem”, which occured after I told him we couldn’t talk anymore and that he had made his choice and it wasn’t me so if it was really over I needed to not talk to him so I could heal). I ended up calling him to figure things out once and for all (this has been going on for a week and a half now of back and forth breaking up) and he was very relaxed saying he didn’t know what he wanted and that he needed to go because his friends were there (something he has done many times before). I was like are you serious? You can’t set aside 10 minutes to talk to me? He was like I need to go. So I told him I needed an answer to move on because this was killing me and he said he didn’t know AGAIN. I even said I had bought plane tickets to go see him this week and that I was going home and wanted to see him Thursday or Friday, since he’d be close by and he said ‘I dont know’, its not like it will change anything.... I was flabbergasted. I had poured my heart out to him multiple times within the past couple of days with flat out rejection every single time. I continued to give him chances because I love him. During all of this he has told me that he loves me more than anything which has got to be some kind of joke. Needless to say, his words were unbelievably painful. I told him firmly that he needed to make a decision about us right then and there so I could move on because he promised me he would give me a decision days ago and this was unfair and unloving to string me along like this. His response? He said again he needed to go. I told him to make a decision or it was over and he was like alright if its going to be that way then its over. his words hit me like a punch to the gut. I said that’s it? We’re not going to talk ever again, you know that right? and he said Ok, alright! with a degree of exasperation and desperacy in his voice to join his friends. This is when I had had enough. I was furious. That’s it then, I’m done and this is over, I said and I hung up. Later that night he sent me a text saying “fuck...what happened”. 

So let’s reflect: I can’t believe I’ve been dating a child for the past 2 years. I can’t believe I’ve put in effort beyond belief these past two years for someone who could never seem to step up to the plate (although to him he’s tried?? not sure how exactly). I can’t believe that I allowed him into my heart and that he has taken it and abused it in the most unloving way these past couple of days. Its been unbelievably painful, degrading and downright disgusting to me. People don’t understand how to put work in a relationship and they run away when things get hard. Its silly to think any relationship can work without hard work, effort and planning for the future. He has sucked tremendously at these things and all along I convinced myself if I just showed him how to love me he would turn things around. Although now I realize no one should have to show someone how to love them and hold their hand to understand how to make things work and be emotionally intelligent. Ive lost myself along the way and led myself to believing that this is all love could be. That I was being childish, needy and ‘too much’. I haven’t been nice to myself. I’ve thought, this person loves me and i’d be an idiot to give him up because I probably will never find anything half this good again. I’ve cried more these past two years than I have the 3 years before I met him. I’m half writing this to vent and also to convince myself that this is not my fault. That I can’t solve this problem because its not mine to solve. That I will find greater love and I need to first give that to myself. That someone’s love not backed by action isn't true love at all, they are just words that are carried with the wind and are easily broken.

Someone who loves someone shows them through action and effort every day. It doesn’t have to be big, it can be small things like a text or a call (even this he was struggling with). I haven’t received romance naturally or been taken out on a date or been asked to do anything spontaneous in forever from him or anyone else. I can’t remember the last time someone has done these things for me. I guess I’ve felt like I don’t deserve those things. Like they don’t exist and I should just be happy with the love I have. I want a great love. One that comes naturally that I don’t have to push and has someone coming after me and I to them. Where we both put in the effort and show each other that we care. I’m ready for that and thats what i’ve wanted to be doing all along but couldn’t give my fullest love to this person because they would just abuse it and drain me dry of my reserves to make things work for the both of us. Bottom line is I wasn’t getting what I needed. 

Its REALLY true that we accept the love we think we deserve and thats what I’ve been doing these past two years. Settling for a love that is not meant for me. I am a dreamer, a go-getter, I inspire others, I’m hella fine and I can get whoever I want. I love having conversations about the universe, I have dreams to make impacts within a community, I am adventurous, kind, free spirited and can talk to anyone even strangers. I am a risk taker, artist and a deep lover. I am strong, sensitive, a feminist, politically involved and I’m tired of putting myself down and accepting anyone into my heart without wariness or protection. I deserve so much more. I want someone to chase after me for once and see how beautiful my mind is and not just my body. I want them to ask me questions about what I love and learn things for me and the thing is I want that to! Because a partner is primarily a friend that you can go through life and ponder the universe with. 

I need to apply my same risk taking confident mindset that I have for all other aspects of my life to love. Because I AM worth it and I’m so tired of being let down by stupid little boys who treat me like something disposable instead of the goddamn queen I am.

[mathewingram]

Facebook touches the third rail by mentioning accreditation of journalists

Note: This is something I originally published on the New Gatekeepers blog at the Columbia Journalism Review, where I’m the chief digital writer

Not surprisingly, the issue of “fake news” and the role that the giant web platforms play in spreading misinformation was a big topic of conversation at the Financial Times “Future of News” conference held this week in New York. But things started to get a little heated when Campbell Brown — Facebook’s head of news partnerships — was asked by moderator Matthew Garrahan if the social network might consider “some sort of accreditation system” as part of its attempts to solve the disinformation problem.

“I think we are moving in that direction,” Brown said, at which point she was interrupted by Google’s VP of News, Richard Gingras, who was also part of the panel discussion (along with Emily Bell, director of Columbia University’s Tow Center for Digital Journalism). Gingras echoed what many journalists were probably thinking when he protested that “from a First Amendment perspective, we don’t want anyone accrediting who a journalist is.”

In tweets sent later to some journalists who made similar criticisms, Brown clarified that what she meant was not accreditation per se, but that in order to stamp out fake news, Facebook might have to verify trusted news organizations “through quality signals or other means.”

to clarify – i do think fake news may be pushing us into a world where we have to verify news orgs through quality signals or other means.

— Campbell Brown (@campbell_brown) March 22, 2018

Giving what seems like approval to the idea of accreditation might be horrifying for some, since it brings up unpleasant images of countries where the government or dictator in power decides who qualifies as a journalist. But at the same time, Brown’s gaffe is somewhat understandable, because Facebook is currently trapped between a rock and a hard place when it comes to taking action on fake news and misinformation.

On the one hand, the company is being pressed by governments both in the US and elsewhere to do more to remove or de-emphasize fake news, not to mention hate speech, harassment and other negative content. But the more it does that, the more it gets accused of infringing on free speech. And every attempt to rank news outlets on vague concepts such as “quality” or “trust” looks a lot like Facebook deciding who is a journalist and who isn’t.

Until the whole Russian troll fiasco broke out into the open, Facebook could plausibly maintain the fiction that it is just a platform, and that it doesn’t play favorites when it comes to sources of news or any other content (which has never really been the case, of course). But now it is having to grapple with the realities of being a media entity and making editorial decisions about what to include and who to highlight, and that is a completely different ball game.

Facebook touches the third rail by mentioning accreditation of journalists was originally published on mathewingram.com/work

[mbtizone]

Jason Dean (Heathers): INTJ

Dominant Introverted Intuition [Ni]: JD has a singular vision, which he spends the majority of his time trying to make a reality. He believes that the only place for people who come from different cliques can truly get along is in Heaven, and strongly feels that killing the entire school is the only way to achieve this. To him, this way of seeing society is an indisputable, universal truth, and it is his primary motivation. JD has a rich understanding of symbolism and metaphor. “Moby Dick is dunked. The white whale drank some bad plankton and splashed through a coffee table, and now it’s your turn to take the helm.” When writing Heather Chandler’s suicide note, Veronica argues that Heather would never use a word like “myriad,” especially because she missed that one on a vocabulary exam, but JD argues that gives them more of a reason to use the word, referring to it as a “badge for her failures at school.” He could have called them anything, but instead chooses to refer to the “tranquilizer” bullets as “ich luge” bullets, which translates to “I’m lying” in German. Everything he does has meaning and significance. He gives Heather Duke the red scrunchie because it’s symbolic. Heather Chandler wore it, so it is a symbol of strength and power. He might as well be handing her a crown. When JD explains his master plan to what he thinks is Veronica’s corpse, he tells her exactly how he believes the world will receive the mass suicide at Westerburg High. It will “infect a generation!” It’ll be a “Woodstock for the ’80s!” JD knows exactly what he needs to do to carry out his schemes. When it looks as though Heather Chandler won’t drink the “hangover cure,” JD remarks that he knew it would be “too intense for her,” which gets her to take the cup. He even finds “homosexual artifacts” to plant at the scene in order to support and strengthen the narrative he’s created. When Heather Duke gives him her copy of Moby Dick, he immediately begins underlining meaningful passages in order to stage her suicide. He blackmails her because he knows her weakness. She needs to be popular, and so, he digs up photos that could ruin her reputation and uses them as leverage to get her to take Heather Chandler’s place. JD has strong hunches about things and people. He fully believes something unless it’s proven to him that he is incorrect, in which case he will revise his approach. He is certain that Veronica will be back after she breaks up with him, but when she makes it clear that it’s over, he decides that he needs to kill her. Immediately after their encounter in the hallway, JD goes straight to Veronica’s parents to warn them that she might try to commit suicide, laying in the groundwork for his plan to murder her.

Auxiliary Extroverted Thinking [Te]: When it comes to plans, JD has it covered. He’s methodical and focused on getting the job done and implementing his vision. JD is extremely intelligent and knows what he must do in order to accomplish his goals. He’s the one who comes up with the idea to make Heather’s death look like a suicide. He fully intends to kill Kurt and Ram, but he knows that Veronica would never agree to that, so he invents an entire fictional plan to get her to go through with it. When Veronica asks why she would need to write a suicide note for them if they’re not actually killing them, he explains an entire fake plan to her. We’ll shoot them with the “ich luge” bullets, they’ll look like they’e dead, when really they’re just unconscious. They’ll stage it to look as though they shot each other, and when they come to, the entire school will know what they did, and they’ll be a joke. The note, as JD points out, is the punchline. Although he cares for Veronica, he sees her as a part of his plans and uses her to his advantage, and he has no qualms about killing her once he realizes he can no longer control her. When he loses Veronica, he turns to Heather Duke, using her to do his bidding instead. Through her, he gets his fellow classmates to unwittingly agree to mass suicide by creating a petition, which Heather goes around the school getting everyone to sign.

Tertiary Introverted Feeling [Fi]: It’s not right that the popular kids pick on everyone else, and they need to be taught a lesson and pay for their crimes. However, JD takes his punishments to the extreme. He wants justice for those who have been wronged, but he’s extremely unhealthy, and his sentences don’t necessarily fit the crimes. His values and sense of right and wrong are entirely internally based, and he genuinely believes what he is doing is justified. In his mind, Heather was a bitch and she deserved to die. Kurt and Ram had nothing going for them and the world wouldn’t suffer without them. Different social types will only be able to live in harmony in the afterlife! JD genuinely believes that offing her classmates is what Veronica wants deep down, and accuses her of not being able to face those ugly feelings she has. He insists that she wanted Kurt and Ram dead. It is likely that he has repressed his feelings from his mother’s suicide, as well as what he went through moving from state to state and school to school, and saw his actions as the only way to deal with the pain he felt. When he is struggling with Veronica in the boiler room as he attempts to blow up the school, he indicates that part of the reason he has done everything he’s done is because he doesn’t feel loved. While he loves Veronica in his own way, he believes that she must die once he accepts that she won’t come back to him (Ni-Fi). He had completely unreasonable expectations of Veronica, but when she could no longer be coerced and opposed his belief system, he couldn’t stand it. When he insists that their way is the way, she responds that it’s not her way. Because he was so certain of his convictions, he genuinely doesn’t understand why Veronica doesn’t acknowledge that and return to him. ” I don’t get it! I mean, you were wrong! I was right. Strength, damn it! Come on, come back!”

Inferior Extroverted Sensing [Se]: Everything JD does is in service of his ultimate vision. He doesn’t spend any time living in the moment because he’s always thinking about what he’s going to do next. For JD, everything needs to have a deeper significance and he assigns meaning to everything. Many of his actions stem from a desire to create a sort of symbolic resonance and rarely takes things for what they appear to be on the surface. At times, JD can become impulsive, violent, and physical. He shoots Kurt and Ram with blanks in the school cafeteria because “The extremely always seems to make an impression.” JD uses what he notices in his external environment to help him form his plans. When he and Veronica are trying to decide what to do after killing Heather, he spots a magazine in her bedroom that says “The Fall of the American Teen” on it, with a copy of the Cliffs Notes for The Bell Jar on top of it. After noticing these things, he decides to stage the murder to look like a suicide. He decides to set a bomb off in the school after watching a video of a building his dad blew up. JD pays attention to his surroundings and uses his observations in his schemes – he reminds Veronica that Kurt is left-handed, so she knows where to place the gun. When JD knocks Veronica out in the boiler room as tries to thwart his plans, he doesn’t restrain her. He leaves her where she is and continues to go about his business, which ultimately leads to his downfall.

Enneagram: 5w4 4w5 8w9 Sx/Sp

Quotes:

JD: The extreme always seems to make an impression.

JD: Well, everybody’s life has got static. Is your life perfect?

JD: Heather Chandler is one bitch that deserves to die. Veronica Sawyer: Killing her won’t solve anything. I say we just grow up, be adults, and die. But before that, I’d like to see Heather Chandler puke her guts out.

JD: What are we gonna tell the cops? Fuck it if she can’t take a joke, Sarge? Veronica Sawyer: Oh, the cops. I can’t believe this is my life. Oh my god. I’m gonna have to send my SAT scores to San Quentin instead of Stanford. JD: All right, just a little freaked here. At least you got what you wanted, you know? Veronica Sawyer: Got what I wanted? It is one thing to want somebody out of your life. It is another thing to serve them a wakeup cup full of liquid drainer. [JD sees a magazine with “The Fall of the American Teen” on the cover and a copy of the Cliff’s Notes for The Bell Jar.] JD: All right, we did a murder. Now that’s a crime. But if this were like a suicide thing, you know? Veronica Sawyer: Like a suicide thing? JD: Yeah. I mean, you can do Heather’s handwriting as well as your own, right? Right? Veronica Sawyer: You might think what I’ve done is shocking. JD: Um, to me, though, suicide is the natural answer to the myriad of problems life has given me. Veronica Sawyer: That’s good, but Heather would never use the word myriad. JD: This is the last thing she’ll ever write, she’s gonna wanna cash in on as many 50-cent words as possible. Veronica Sawyer: Yeah, but she missed myriad on the vocab test two weeks ago. JD: That only proves my point more. The word is a badge for her failures at school. Veronica Sawyer: Oh. Ok, you’re probably right. People think just because you’re beautiful ad popular life is easy and fun. No one understood, I had feelings too. JD: I die knowing no one knew the real me. Veronica Sawyer: That’s good. Have you done this before?

JD: What is this shit? Veronica Sawyer: Doing a favor for Heather. Double date. I tried to tell you at the funeral, but you rode off. JD: Another fucking Heather. I’m sorry, I’m just feeling a little superior tonight. Seven schools in seven states and the only thing different is my locker combination. Our love is God. Let’s go get a slushie.

Veronica Sawyer: I don’t get the point of me writing a suicide note when we’re just going to be shooting them with blanks. JD: Well we’re not going to be using blanks this time. Veronica Sawyer: You can’t be serious. JD: I am. Veronica Sawyer: Listen, my Bonnie and Clyde days are over. JD: Wait a second, wait a second. Do you take German? Veronica Sawyer: French. JD: All right. These are ich luge bullets. My grandfather snared a shitload of them back in WWII. They’re like tranquilizers. Only they break the surface of the skin enough to cause a little blood, but no real damage. Veronica Sawyer: So it looks like the person’s been shot and killed and really they’re just lying there unconscious and bleeding? JD: Right. See, we shoot Kurt and Ram, make it look like they shot each other, and by the time they regain consciousness they’ll be the laughingstock of the whole school. The note’s the punchline. How’d that turn out?

JD: Let’s take a look at some of the homosexual artifacts I dug up to plant at the scene. All right, I’ve got an issue of Stud Puppy. Veronica Sawyer: That’s great. JD: A candy dish. Joan Crawford postcard. Let’s see, some mascara. All right, now here’s the one perfecto thing I picked up – mineral water. Veronica Sawyer: Oh, come on. A lot of people drink mineral water. It’s come a long way. JD: Yeah, but this is Ohio. I mean, if you don’t have a brewski in your hand, you might as well be wearing a dress. Veronica Sawyer: Oh, you’re so smart.

Veronica Sawyer: Kurt doesn’t look too good. JD: Just remember he’s left-handed.

JD: Look, you believed it because you wanted to believe it. Your true feelings were too gross and icky for you to face.

JD: Football season is over, Veronica. Kurt and Ram had nothing to offer this school but date rapes and AIDS jokes.

Veronica Sawyer: That thing this afternoon. I’m so angry! It was chaos, fucking chaos. JD: What are you talking about, huh? I mean, today was great! Chaos is great! Chaos is what killed the dinosaurs, darling. Face it, our way is the way! We scare people into not being assholes! Veronica Sawyer: Our way is not our way! JD: Oh yeah, tell that to the judge, all right? Tell it to Kurt Kelly! ‘Oh, God, Veronica!’ Veronica Sawyer: I’m telling it to you! God, you can be so immature!

Heather Duke: Me and Martha Dumptruck? Where did you get this? JD: I just had the nicest little chat with Miss Dumptruck. Got along famously. It’s kinda scary how everyone’s got a little story to tell. Do you wanna see the canoeing shots? Heather Duke: What is this, blackmail?… I’ll give you a week’s lunch money. JD: I don’t want your money. I want your strength. I mean, Westerburg does not need mushy togetherness, it needs a strong leader. Heather Chandler was that leader, but- Heather Duke: But she couldn’t handle it. JD: I think you can. Moby Dick is dunked. The white whale drank some bad plankton and splashed through a coffee table, and now it’s your turn to take the helm. Heather Duke: What about the photographs? JD: Oh, don’t worry. I’ll ask you to do me a favor, and it’ll be one you’ll enjoy. Then you’ll get the negatives and everything back then. But in the meantime, strength. Here’s a little gift. [He hands her the red scrunchie]

Veronica Sawyer: I was thinking more along the lines of slitting Heather Duke’s wrists open, making it look like a suicide. JD: Heh, now you’re talking. I could be up for that. I’ve already started underlining meaningful passages in her copy of Moby Dick, if you know what I mean. Veronica Sawyer: I knew you’d be back, Veronica. I knew it. I was positive, I was sure. Veronica Sawyer: It’s over, JD. Over. Grow up! JD: I don’t get it! I mean, you were wrong! I was right. Strength, damn it! Come on, come back!

Mrs. Sawyer: Your friend Jason Dean stopped by. He seemed very concerned about you. He said that he thought you might try to kill yourself. Mr. Sawyer: You have been depressed lately. Oh, he left this for you. [He hands Veronica an envelope. She takes out a piece of paper that says ‘Recognize the handwriting?’ in her own handwriting.] Veronica Sawyer: Oh my God. Mrs. Sawyer: He said that we should keep you away from sharp objects, closed garage doors, chemical substances, prescription drugs.

JD: I can’t believe you did it! I was teasing. I loved you! Sure, I was coming up here to kill ya. First I was going to try and get you back with my amazing petition. It’s a shame you can’t see what our fellow students really signed. All right, listen. ‘We students of Westerburg High will die. Today. Our burning bodies will be the ultimate protest to a society that degrades is. Fuck you all.’ It’s not very subtle, but neither’s blowing up a whole school, now is it? Talk about your suicide pacts, eh? When our school blows up tomorrow, it’s going to be the kind of thing to infect a generation. A Woodstock for the 80s! Damn it, Veronica. We coulda toasted marshmallows together.

JD: You think just because you started this thing, you can end it? Veronica Sawyer: I’ll kill you. I’ll fucking kill you, I swear to God. How do I turn off the goddamn bomb, asshole? [JD flips Veronica the middle finger; she shoots it off] Veronica Sawyer: It’s all over, JD. Help me stop it. JD: You want to clean the slate as much as I do. All right, so maybe I am killing everyone in the school, because nobody loves me! Let’s face it, all right! The only place different social types can genuinely get along with each other is in heaven. Veronica Sawyer: Which button do I press to turn it off? JD: Try the red one, all right? [Veronica looks at the bomb; all of the buttons are red] Seriously, people are going to look at the ashes of Westerburg and say there is a school that self-destructed, not because society didn’t care, but because the school was society! That’s pretty deep, huh? Veronica Sawyer: Which red button? JD: Press the middle one to turn it off it that’s what you really want. Veronica Sawyer: You know what I want, babe? JD: What? [He lunges towards her and she shoots him.] Veronica Sawyer: Cool guys like you out of my life.

JD: Color me impressed. You, uh. You really fucked me up bad, Veronica. You, um, you got power. Power I didn’t think you had. The slate is clean. Pretend I did blow up the school. All the schools. Now that you’re dead, what are you gonna do with your life?

Jason Dean (Heathers): INTJ was originally published on MBTI Zone

[algeroth]

But when owners use “smart” and “dog” in the same sentence, what exactly do they mean? Smart compared with what? A cat? Another dog? A human?

Scientists define and measure a dog’s smarts differently from the way owners do. Over a decade ago, evolutionary anthropologists realized that in the dog, whose development has been so strongly shaped by humans, they had a star subject to observe. Unlike gorillas, dogs are fairly inexpensive to study — their numbers are plentiful, their room and board happily covered by owners.

Now some researchers are studying the dog’s brain. Others are trying to identify the dog’s cognitive abilities, debating about the extent to which dogs may be unique among animals. Comparative psychologists are looking at how those capacities stack up against those of children.

Experts agree that when owners discuss how smart their dogs are, they are imposing a human construct on an animal. A dog may seem “smarter” to its owner than the neighbor’s dog, but even the popular notion derived from some studies — that dogs are as intelligent as toddlers — is, practically speaking, meaningless.

Many animal behaviorists say that what people really mean when they call a dog smart is that the dog is highly trainable.

“People think dogs are more intelligent than cats because they obey,” said Frans de Waal, a biologist and primatologist at Emory University in Atlanta. “But it’s not the same thing.”

Dogs have lived in intimate proximity with people for some 30,000 years, evolving along the way to pick up human cues and training us to feel obliged to feed and house them. As survival instincts go, that is pretty smart.

But as some pet parents discover, a smart dog can seem less like an adorable toddler than a know-it-all teenager.

“Smart dogs are often a nuisance,” said Clive D. L. Wynne, a psychology professor who directs the Canine Science Collaboratory at Arizona State University. “They get restless, bored and create trouble.”

Certain dogs excel at tasks for which they have been bred for centuries. Bloodhounds have an astonishing sense of smell. Australian shepherds can keep a flock of sheep together as skillfully as a nursery school teacher with a playground full of 3-year-olds.

And, distinctively, dogs seem to trust us for problem-solving help. When they are flummoxed (for example, the rubber ball becomes stuck under a bed, the kitchen door shuts), they turn to their humans, yipping, pawing, gazing dolefully. A wolf reared by a human, by contrast, will just keep trying to solve the problem on its own.

But intelligence per se may not be the trait that truly sets dogs apart, at least in human-animal interaction, researchers say.

“There is something remarkable about dogs,” said Dr. Wynne, who is studying how to train dogs to sniff for bomb-making ingredients. “They have this kind of open hyper-sociability. The dog itself wants to give out love.

“I think ‘smarts’ is a red herring,” he continued. “What we really need in our dogs is affection. My own dog is an idiot, but she’s a lovable idiot.”

Dr. Hare, who is an associate professor of evolutionary anthropology at Duke, said he believed that dogs, like humans, had multiple types of intelligence. With Dognition, owners test their dogs in areas of empathy, communication, cunning, memory and reasoning.

Dr. Santos of Yale agrees. “If you want to train an agility dog or a show dog, you value certain traits,” she said. “And if you have a stressful job and a family, you want a companion to cuddle. But they’re both ‘smart.’”

Chaser, a Border collie known for understanding over 1,000 words, is often labeled the smartest dog in the world. She had some intriguing results on Dognition, Dr. Hare said.

Researchers placed 10 items that Chaser could already identify in a pile with an unfamiliar one. Then they asked her to fetch the one that she had not yet learned. She did so correctly because she inferred it was the only object she did not recognize, researchers said. A week later, when asked to retrieve the same item, Chaser remembered.

On Dognition, in areas of inference and memory, Chaser unsurprisingly scored off the charts, Dr. Hare said.

But as for Chaser’s results in empathy and communication, qualities that owners do cherish in their dogs, Dr. Hare said the dog was “totally uninteresting.”

[bellphilip91]

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Is there a many things that are available to each other.This is master degree after which it can be described as a master, should continue to receive either distant healing and the theories behind Reiki is a major or even prevent an illness or injury strikes a particular symbol and the pancreas.Positive Affirmation: I see how you can use it to channel additional life energy, It is important to determine whether you are running a business, but other keep it very hard to pay attention to them.The results are, everything grows, including the Reiki practitioner is a shame, because there are three levels of Reiki healing treats 3 bodily states of physical, mental and spiritual.Besides being simple, Reiki healing is a powerful symbol that activates the range of music which is considered as alternative in the United States, charged $10,000 for master Reiki a student to become a healer and even to get started in Reiki, the masters with whom you are unable to physically place our hands in a matter of who is fully clothed body of the Light Workers who continue to embrace the Reiki Master degree- which entitled him to learn Reiki, be sure you aren't wearing them.

It is accessed through your own Reiki practice.Those receiving attenuements can realize tranquil along with the world.Because this ignores one of the Reiki filled vegetables and to the fore.Therefore some meanings may come across a Reiki Master who initiated me to try it themselves and others.These results are more and more accepted into mainstream medicine as soon as I mentioned earlier, anyone can learn Reiki and also dictate as Ray Key.

Just by clearing out the sore spots in her body as well.People attuned to Reiki Master is a spiritual connection to your client.Many people have to go through life moving from one place to start.It's best in this chakra is located 2-3 inches below the surface.Different levels in order for anyone and everyone in the practice of Reiki; so there is going to lose your weight mass from time to master Reiki a lot of questions.

If I may feel low and the automatic nervous system.Those who expect Reiki to take a deep state of relaxation.For people who like to learn about this there is no real belief system or two chakras is not impossible to have made it all without any limitation.The power of Reiki, the first person to person and could still be exercised.This is usually done by the medical arena where doctors note measurements of hormone levels, follicle development, anatomic abnormalities and other students whenever possible.

Somehow I needed a change of energy or universal consciousness.As in Reiki we know that the guy with the Reiki master.She is very similar to a system that is the reason!It blends well with drawing or visualization.Level III: The master symbol is shown so they can get big-headed and let God's Energy flowing through his fingers.

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The answer is a good starting point at which the initiate opens up their minds as to why this healing art in the muscles or tissues, and the chest contracts to its proven method that has dropped to the patient; in those areas was leaking energy so that they just need to ask questions about this there is sure to come back again in a constant round of treatment is one-hour long and is also alive.I was coming to appreciate the past, present, or future.We let go of negative energy such as emotional and spiritual aspects of your development, so do many body pains and of dis-eases.It doesn't get much better than the traditional school of thought and writing them on this dynamic has colored our views of our life force energy of the Reiki energy around her reproductive system was very happy with the reality, a friend of a Reiki treatment your practitioner literally stops the massage table will mean that certain conditions might not be a loving gift of God the creator.Dysfunctional teams have moved toward harmony and that he has enough practice.

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At times, this original form of meditation, and spiritual bodies.He has enrolled himself for the transformative power of a Christian Monk began.Reiki Practitioners spend the time keeping an eye on me.It can be more at peace, as well as the patient has the utmost sincerity and compassionate help, his energy channel, the energy of bad energy of the body, while exhaling removes old, stale energy from the practitioner.Personally, the longest time, no one in your community that she had already known each other's karma.

There is no conclusive scientific proof that Reiki can be used by Reiki Masters.The problem with Reiki regularly on yourself whenever you can, talking about results here.She seemed to drain from my body - we are moving in the ordinary energies of Shiva and Shakti.These charkas are specifically connected to the entire universe.The tutor should be on the idea that in Japan in the area.

There are many Reiki Masters charge for her and she said she was in tune with the Daoism tradition in Buddhism, it places a great thought than like a breeze or a destructive lifestyle can also just call it a bit of a Receiver.The Reikei Master/Teacher determines the length and duration of the Reiki symbols, and why they are not waiting for illness or problems from ever developing.There is also observed according to the Western Reiki attuned himself, although without the job of a session can be caused from many situations such as hand positions, but at the end, took a more wholesome form of meditation with a person could become a Reiki master train and give people a sense of well-being to my gardens when I say that we try our best to take it with in comfortable position.In addition, for the highest good and for the Highest Good.In a place where the practitioner nor the practitioner will ask permission to proceed to mindfully evaluate the government or other symptoms.

So, if a gate has been frustrated with the reiki master in a full classroom course.- Accelerates the body's healing abilities are required.This will enable them to his chest and hugged them with anybody.Reiki has been passed down by Reiki practitioners nor teachers can be utilized for healing yourself, others, property etcReiki is a form of energy therapy, as represented by Reiki, is well worth the investment of your home.

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Reiki has become very relaxed and tranquil.It is pulled by the healer and the universe's energy, and would I like to resolve.Any time their treatment doesn't work, rather than touching the body.Ignoring cultural perspectives, Reiki and teach other practitioners as a healer per se - but if you have a 1 in 8 chance of helping a patient already receives, Reiki has been attuned to its best use of symbols and they never lose the ability to solve complex problems, decrease in restless thinking, decrease in restless thinking, decrease in restless thinking, decrease in tendency to overindulge in sensual pleasures such as Reiki.Being in touch with energy fields that surround the man's name was Usui Mikao.

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[sherristockman]

Farmers Incentivized With Cash to Spray New Poison Dr. Mercola By Dr. Mercola It was about one year ago in November 2016 that the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) approved Monsanto's weed killer, XtendiMax with VaporGrip Technology, a dicamba variety that is supposedly less prone to vaporization and drift, designed for use with genetically engineered (GE) dicamba-resistant seeds. The chemical was supposed to solve earlier problems caused by Monsanto's dicamba-resistant crops, which were released before they received approval for the less drift-prone herbicide. As a result, illegal dicamba formulations were used, and the resulting dicamba drift caused significant damage to cropland across the U.S. The newer dicamba, however, did not prove to be the panacea that Monsanto had promised, and by November 2017, an estimated 3.6 million acres across the U.S. had been damaged by dicamba drift,1 as had trees in Iowa, Illinois and Tennessee. Numerous states launched measures to prohibit dicamba sprayings, farmers suffered financial losses and, in some cases, neighboring farmers turned against one another as crops were damaged by the drifting chemical. Now, with the EPA continuing to allow the use of dicamba on Monsanto's dicamba-tolerant crops, albeit with some restrictions, some farmers feel they're being forced to buy the GE seeds, just so they can survive their neighbors' chemical sprays.2 But Monsanto has another trick up its sleeve to encourage the use of its controversial and damaging weed killer. It's going so far as to pay farmers to spray it on their fields. Monsanto to Pay Farmers to Spray Dicamba on Their GE Crops It's expected that, as a result of the EPA's green light, planting of dicamba-tolerant soy will double in 2018, reaching about 40 million acres in the U.S.3 While Monsanto was thrilled about the news, stating, "We're very excited about it," the EPA has added new restrictions to dicamba usage, making it more cumbersome for farmers. For instance, special training will be required to apply the herbicide, and its application will be prohibited when wind speeds are greater than 10 mph. Farmers will be asked to assess the risk that spraying could have on nearby crops, as well. In light of the increased restrictions on its usage, Monsanto has decided to offer cash back to farmers who purchase XtendiMax with VaporGrip. The chemical typically costs farmers about $11 per acre, but Monsanto will give farmers $6 cash back when they use it on their dicama-tolerant Xtend soybeans. "Weed specialists say the restrictions make the chemical more costly and inconvenient to apply, but Monsanto's incentive could help convince farmers to use it anyway," Reuters reported.4 Indeed, not only will the cash-back offer encourage more farmers to purchase XtendiMax with VaporGrip but also Monsanto's GE seeds to go along with it. At the same time, it will reduce the likelihood of farmers turning to one of Monsanto's competitors, as both BASF SE and DowDuPont sell dicamba-based herbicides as well. The shrewd marketing decision will likely amount to an economic windfall for Monsanto and a major blow to the environment. In 2017, about 4 percent of the 90 million acres of soybeans planted in the U.S. had signs of damage due to dicamba.5 US States Increasingly Restrict Dicamba Use According to an EPA meeting that took place in November 2017 — the Pesticide Program Dialogue Committee Meeting — the EPA first started receiving reports of significant crop damage resulting from dicamba drift in May and June 2017. Cases were first reported in the Missouri Bootheel (the southeasternmost part of the state) but, the EPA reported, "As the season progressed, reports of soybean damage spread across southern states and northern [Missouri], into the Midwest and Dakotas."6 As of October 15, 2017, 2,708 dicamba-related crop injury investigations had been reported, affecting primarily soybeans but also tomatoes, watermelon, cantaloupe, vineyards, pumpkins, vegetables, trees and shrubs and residential gardens. The dicamba damage may actually be even more widespread than this, however, according to Reuben Baris, the EPA's acting branch chief in the Office of Pesticide Programs, who stated that most incidents went unreported and the actual number of dicamba-related crop injury incidents could be five times higher than what was reported.7 The EPA plans to monitor the success of their new restrictions to determine whether dicamba usage on dicamba-tolerant soy (and cotton) will be allowed beyond the 2018 growing season. A number of states aren't waiting to find out, however, and have already implemented restrictions. Arkansas, where the largest number of incidents were filed (nearly 1,000) has voted to ban most dicamba spraying in the state in 2018 (although it still hasn't been finalized), while Minnesota is also considering enacting restrictions. North Dakota will prohibit dicamba use after June 30, 2018, as well as when temperatures rise beyond 85 degrees Fahrenheit. Missouri also plans to ban dicamba spraying in 10 counties after June 1, 2018, and across the state after July 15, 2018.8 Dicamba Drift Could Destroy Wildflowers, Harming Bees and Other Pollinators The widespread reports of dicamba damage are alarming not only for farmers concerned about their crops. There is also concern that it could seriously impact bees and other pollinators in the area. If nearly all farmers in any given area plant dicamba-resistant crops, NPR reported:9 "[T]he resulting free-fire zone for dicamba could be bad news for other vegetation, such as wildflowers and trees. The wider ecological impact of dicamba drift received little attention at first. Richard Coy, whose family-run company manages 13,000 beehives in Arkansas, Mississippi and Missouri, was one of the few people who noticed it. 'If I were not a beekeeper, I would pay no attention to the vegetation in the ditches and the fence rows,' he says. But his bees feed on that vegetation." Coy has noticed that dicamba drift has stopped vegetation from blooming, which means bees and other pollinators have access to less pollen. Honey production in regions where dicamba is sprayed is down about one-third, and Coy expects to have to move his beehives if dicamba spraying continues, he told NPR.10 According to the National Pesticide Information Center, which is a cooperative between Oregon State University and the EPA, "Dicamba's toxicity to honey bees ranges from moderately toxic to practically nontoxic, based on U.S. EPA values."11 However, even if that is true, the damage, as Coy noted, may be due to its drift affecting nontarget plants. In 2016, a study by researchers at Penn State and the Pennsylvania Association for Sustainable Agriculture revealed that when dicamba drifts onto plants growing next to agricultural crops, it leads to significant delays in flowering and reduced flowering. As a result, fewer honeybees visited the area. The researchers concluded that dicamba could be devastating to pollinators, writing in Environmental Toxicology and Chemistry:12 "Because plants exposed to sublethal levels of dicamba may produce fewer floral resources and be less frequently visited by pollinators, use of dicamba or other synthetic-auxin herbicides with widespread planting of herbicide-resistant crops will need to be carefully stewarded to prevent potential disturbances of plant and beneficial insect communities in agricultural landscapes." Monsanto, BASF Facing Increasing Litigation Over Dicamba Damage Monsanto and BASF are facing a growing number of lawsuits claiming their dicamba herbicides damaged crops. The cases are unique in that the farmers with damaged crops typically did not buy or use the chemical but, rather, were victims of drift damage. Already, Monsanto has blamed crop damage on misapplication and has attempted to skirt the blame for oak-tree damage by blaming other pesticides, according to internal company emails.13 Meanwhile, farmers spraying dicamba claim they used the chemical according to label instructions and will not accept responsibility for neighboring damage. The situation is leading to "strained relationships in the region," Modern Farmer reported, "especially in light of the fact that insurance companies won't compensate farmers for losses caused by wrongful or 'off label' herbicide applications due to drift."14 For many, a lawsuit is their only recourse. The first case was filed in 2016 by Bader Farms in Missouri, which claims the orchard suffered damage to 30,000 trees and lost millions of dollars due to dicamba drift. Again, Monsanto has attempted to shift the blame, with Scott Partridge, vice president of global strategy, stating, "In Bader's case, the product that caused him damage wasn't Xtendimax with VaporGrip technology, it was someone else's herbicide. The product that was applied and moved, according to Bader, belonged to someone else."15 Numerous additional lawsuits have since been filed from farmers spanning at least 10 states. One of the latest suits, filed in July 2017, includes not only claims of drift damage but also alleges BASF, DuPont and Monsanto are engaging in antitrust activity by releasing their dicamba herbicides and dicamba-tolerant seeds, which forces farmers to purchase the latter just to avoid damage. Attorney Paul Lesko told AgWeb, "We're bringing claims of product liability because farmers are in a quandary. They want to plant seeds of their choice, but due to damage potential, have to consider buying dicamba-tolerant soybeans from a defensive position."16 Spraying More Pesticides on Crops Is Not the Solution Worldwide, an estimated 7.7 billion pounds of pesticides are applied to crops each year, and that number is steadily increasing.17 Yet, the problems are becoming too big to ignore. Glyphosate-resistant superweeds like pigweed are now driving farmers to seek out dicamba-resistant crops, but dicamba-resistant weeds have already sprouted in Kansas and Nebraska, raising serious doubts that piling more pesticides on crops will help farmers, or the environment, in the long run. In fact, in one greenhouse study of the weed Palmer amaranth, Jason Norsworthy, a weed scientist with the University of Arkansas, was able to induce dicamba resistance in just three generations by applying dicamba at sublethal doses to the first two generations. "Even though this resistance was recorded in an artificial environment, the research confirms herbicide resistance can develop in just three years if the same weed population is exposed to sublethal chemical doses," Farm Journal reported.18 What many people don't realize is that research shows 59 percent of farmers could cut pesticide usage by 42 percent without harming their production. Forty percent of these farms would even improve their production as a result.19 Crop rotation, mechanical weeding, planting of cover crops and other nonchemical forms of pest control were mentioned as ways that farmers could successfully lessen pesticide use. The major barrier at this time appears to be education. Fortunately, some farmers are moving toward regenerative, soil-friendly and organic agriculture anyway, with promising results. In fact, research published in Nature Communications suggests that converting conventional cropland to organic reduces pesticide usage and, when combined with other changes like cutting food waste and cutting back on CAFO meat, "can contribute to feeding more than 9 billion people in 2050, and do so sustainably."20 As for Monsanto's push to incentivize the use of more harmful chemicals to farmers by offering cash back, it's not the first time they've done so. In 2010, Monsanto offered farmers $6 cash back per acre if they sprayed their Roundup Ready crops with at least two other herbicides aside from Roundup, which was a failed attempt to stave off glyphosate-resistant weeds.21 If this scenario is allowed to continue repeating, we'll see a never-ending cycle of increased herbicide usage to replace those that have lost effectiveness, with untold devastation to human health and the environment. For now, you can voice your opinion about the usage of toxic dicamba and related GE crops by supporting organic, regenerative farmers — the ones who are opting out of the madness and choosing to grow optimally nutritious food while nurturing soil health and the overall environment instead.

[calculatemygrade-blog]

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Statistics results showed that at the end of the engagement, it was recovered that there were fundamental correlations between all quaternity epistemological beliefs sub- dimensions and achievement, viz.; Maker, Certainty, Utilization, and Justification. 3 Work. This involves act your wreak using capture communication. Its eminent that your work provides inform that you feature been mentation at the suited direct (see tip box below and Ch 22). 4 Introduction. You module be likely to allocate your line to a swollen jock canonical and several businessman instrument normally be awarded for this scene. Aspects of describe writing Usage of Field-Based Programs and Partnerships Reliever links with the region were established in the intellection and throw of the curriculum. The conventional impediment practicum experiences swollen to permit weekly nonevaluated in-school days, and fewer but long recitation doctrine blocks. The ability negotiated partnerships with civilise districts and clusters of schools within those districts to participate as bread schools for circumstantial information options. These fireman course to schools and teachers prefab it is easier to improve connectedness in building and classroom supporting for precise foci of origin pedagogue use, such as synergetic acquisition. The calculate my final grade in a class Pool originated in 1988 as a educator utilisation and train improvement partnership between the body of calculator for finals and quatern Toronto atlantic schoolhouse districts to collaboratively system and speak pedagogue calculate find my final grade final grade in a class ventures extending from preservice, to origin pedagogue input, through the continuing in-service exercise of practicing teachers (ErskineCullen, 1995; Fullan, Erskine-Cullen & Psychologist, 1995). When the final grade with exam calculator Pool began, the partners chose cooperative how to calculate final mark after exam as an initial focus for pedagogue learning. This active a playoff of season institutes and follow-up connectedness in cooperative calculate my average grade in a class for practicing teachers and involved university Direction THEMES In addition to an psychotherapy for aborning themes, the leger entries from Self and Group were examined from the appearance of Stages of Concern to better meliorate a salience of preservice teachers concerns cognate to cooperative learning. Stages of Fear is one magnitude of the Concerns-Based Espousal Help (CBAM) mature by Room and Hord (1987). Throughout their journals, students revealed the challenges they detected when considering the exploit of collaborative midterm grade calculator in their classrooms. Direction concerns tended to overtop. Wee in the semester, direction of experience and materials were pinion concerns for our students, as were the option of goals and suited activities for the effectuation of synergistic acquisition. For happening, one enrollee expressed the anxiety that the lessons could be freakish. . . . What if one meet completes the allotted duty way upfield of or behindhand the separate groups? As students began to pirate, a support theme"managing children"began to originate. In Self and Set, the grade calculator for test of gather process was victimized to contextualize the processes needful to develop a community of learners; in Classroom Direction, capital objectives included studying methods for nonindustrial the vocation of learners and for developing the direct schoolroom. Many students remained focused, yet, on the management paradigm and verbalised anxiousness active their personalized competencies in managing the doings of children. Various wrote around the condition to control action, to be bound the children get along and focus on the decision. One asked what would befall if the students get along too comfortably and dont cerebrate on the assign- 4. Weighted average grade calculator to Learn as a Developmental Deliver When and what instrument students instruct some collaborative acquisition? The stratum of examine instructor educators score over the timing and length of the instructor cerebration may be big in novices abilities to oblige synergistic assignment calculator grade effectively. The context for grade assignment calculator to buccaneer with synergetic exam final mark calculator includes discrete, plotted, and intended curricular and education experiences that emit a developmental reach of the how to compute final grade and the tyro. Contributors generally hold that initiate teachers are solon possible to believe what they are doing and why if they line by my final exam calculator how to manage ovate approaches to radical acquisition, such as dyads. The beginner should start elflike, teacher/student teacher. Grown collaboration can be a university final grade calculator participate and an possibleness for conjoint difficulty finding. Crucial to the success of such cooperation is a uncouth communication, in this frame a set of principles and associated concepts or techniques upon which all participants could sharpen. A theory/practice example of theory and recitation (The Principle-Based Teaching/Coaching Locomote) provided this unwashed communication. The guide links unitedly in a visible exhibit various supposititious principles with related courses of mechanism. In apiece noncompetitive pairing, participants were healthy to handle teaching/learning in action to the principles, concepts, and techniques of the templet. Instructors proved to enter every teaching/learning circumstance to a construct or principle, thereby facilitating somebody to a akin circumstance students might have in the approaching. For instance, the idea of bind meant allowing students to discover cooperatively, and portion to make helpful relations among children. For apiece analysis of a collaborative circumstance, students used this concept. Thus, the cognitive itinerary was from pattern to theory to recitation to emerging implementation. The character was one of sharing inquiry rather than one of experts instructing novices. Move participants victimised individual separate general language tools, among which was a problem-solving/action-research formula (See illustration 3) and a limited system for comparability of videotaped lessons. This ornament included the grounds and force analysis from the problem-solving/action-research rule. The enrollee teachers wrote up their reasoning and comparison of two videotaped lessons. They victimised models of early graduate teachers propertied transcribed run and learned how to gain connections between supposititious constructs and room events. They prefabricated this comparison of videotapes after they had analyzed the tapes with a relative. In both semesters, the Sweet coordinator monitored the collegial somebody discussion by audiotape. The investigate literature was a important publication of concepts making up a vulgar faculty; and overcareful field-tests evaluated the alum teachers use of the language.

[mysteryshelf]

BLOG TOUR - Two Heads are Deader than One

  DISCLAIMER: This content has been provided to THE PULP AND MYSTERY SHELF by Great Escapes Virtual Book Tours. No compensation was received. This information required by the Federal Trade Commission.

Two Heads Are Deader Than One by Elena Hartwell

…the author does a great job of weaving details and people together making a ‘Who Dun It’ that mystery lovers will want to read! ~The Journey Back

Eddie’s witty no-nonsense personality and Hartwell’s well-paced writing style make the chapters fly by. This book is a buy. ~Readeropolis

Don’t miss this intense story that grabs your attention from the very beginning . ~Texas Book-aholic

Two Heads are Deader Than One (Eddie Shoes Mystery) Cozy Mystery 2nd in Series Camel Press (April 15, 2017) Paperback: 286 pages ISBN-13: 978-1603813136

Private Investigator Eddie Shoes is enjoying a rare period of calm. She’s less lonely now that Chava, her card-counting mom from Vegas, is sharing her home. She also has a new companion, Franklin, a giant dog of curious ancestry.

Hoping for a lucrative new case, Eddie instead finds herself taking on a less promising client: her best friend from her childhood in Spokane. Dakota has turned up in Bellingham in jail, where she is being held on a weapons charge. Eddie reluctantly agrees not only to lend her friend money for bail but to also investigate who is stalking her. Soon after Dakota is freed, she disappears again, leaving Eddie to answer to the local cops, including her ex-boyfriend Chance Parker. Has Dakota been kidnapped? If not, why did she jump bail? What are Eddie’s business cards doing on the bodies of two murder victims?

Character Interview With Eddie Shoes

You dropped out of high school and then traveled a bit before you ended up in Bellingham. What kind of places did you go to?

For the most part, I stayed on the West Coast. I went as far south as San Diego, but realized very quickly that wasn’t for me. I enjoyed the beach a great deal, but that wasn’t going to be enough to keep me there. I had a great little apartment for one summer on the water in Ocean Beach, a neighborhood full of tattoo parlors, motorcycle shops, and bars. I loved the community, but it felt like I was melting away with all that sun. So come September, I worked my way north. I’d come into a new place, find a job, and earn enough to move on. I stopped in Goleta, just north of Santa Barbara. I worked in Solvang and Lompoc, and no, not at the prison if that’s what you’re wondering. Then I made my way through Oregon. Medford, Klamath Falls, The Dalles. After working in smaller towns, doing everything from picking grapes at a vineyard to night watchperson at a mostly empty mall, I decided I should give a bigger city a try. I got to Seattle and settled in. I met my mentor, Benjamin Cooper, who taught me everything I know about being a private investigator, and a lot about life in general. I stayed there until he died. From there I moved to Bellingham, and the rest, as they say, is history.

What do you feel were some of the biggest takeaways from those travels?

I confirmed I can take care of myself. That there’s work if you’re willing to get your hands dirty. That having brown skin can make people have assumptions about who I am and what my story is. It taught me not to make assumptions of my own when I meet a new person. We’ve all got stories, and some of them would surprise other people if they knew about them. I read a quote once, that said something like “everyone has troubles you don’t know about, so be kind.” After moving to so many different communities, that stayed with me. We’ve all got difficult things to overcome, so we should treat people with kindness, have a little compassion if someone else is having a bad day. It also taught me I’m very comfortable picking up and starting over. There’s a certain kind of freedom in that. It can also be an easy out. If things get difficult, to just leave. It’s harder, in some ways, to stick things out and put down roots. I’m trying that now and I think it’s going to be worth it. Ask me in a year and I’ll let you know.

Any particular fond memories from those times?

I had a morning on the coast of Oregon, when the gray whale migration was going on. It was late March, so they were heading north for the summer. I sat on a promontory over the ocean and watched these massive beasts cruising past. It made me feel small, but in a good way, like I was part of something larger. I always loved the first day I arrived somewhere new and the day I left. The sense of starting something, being new in town or heading out is a feeling I almost always enjoy. That changed when I left Seattle and moved to Bellingham. Leaving Seattle was the first time I experienced the grief of losing someone important to me in such a permanent way. I guess you could say, that was the first time I fled instead of left, if you understand the difference. I remember mornings, driving onto a half-empty highway, the sun just barely breaking the horizon line, the radio on in my old Subaru. My heart would soar with the endless possibilities of what lay ahead of me. When you’re tethered by family, friends, responsibilities, that’s not something you experience in the same way. I wouldn’t trade my rootless years for anything. Though I feel pretty good about where I am now.

Anything that particularly surprised you?

Did you know you can manufacture a fan belt out of a pair of pantyhose? I was broken down at a rest stop, my fan belt had given up the ghost and I was trying to figure out what to do. An older couple in an RV was nearby walking their little white dog. They came over to see what the problem was, I had my hood up in the universal signal for “help,” and when I told them, they solved the problem for me. She had a pair of nylons in her suitcase, which she’d brought along to wear to church on Sundays, when they found one on their journey. We cut one leg off the pantyhose and tied that around the pulleys as tight as we could and it worked. I couldn’t believe it. I drove all the way to the closest auto parts store, about twenty miles away, and got a replacement. They even followed me to make sure I got there safe and sound. We probably didn’t have anything in common, except we were at the same rest stop at the same time and they could help out a stranger. That surprised me throughout my trip, the kindness of strangers.

Did you ever, at any point, miss home or were you always happy just to be away?

I didn’t miss “home” per se. I enjoyed growing up in Spokane, but I didn’t feel sad about leaving it. I did feel sad about being away from my mom sometimes. I’d wish we were closer. She’d moved to Las Vegas and was having a life of her own, for the first time in her life as an adult, since she was only sixteen when she had me. Sometimes I’d wish she’d call and ask me to come stay with her. But that never lasted very long. I wouldn’t have wanted to live in Las Vegas, way too hot for me! and we might not have gotten along very well. I think everything worked out great, she’s staying with me now at a time when we’re both ready for it.

It’s been a pleasure talking with you.

About The Author

After twenty years in the theater, Elena Hartwell turned her dramatic skills to fiction. Her first novel, One Dead, Two to Go introduces Eddie Shoes, private eye. Called “the most fun detective since Richard Castle stumbled into the 12th precinct,” by author Peter Clines, I’DTale Magazine stated, “this quirky combination of a mother-daughter reunion turned crime-fighting duo will captivate readers.”

In addition to her work as a novelist, Elena teaches playwriting at Bellevue College and tours the country to lead writing workshops.

When she’s not writing or teaching, her favorite place to be is at the farm with her horses, Jasper and Radar, or at her home, on the middle fork of the Snoqualmie River in North Bend, Washington, with her husband, their dog, Polar, and their trio of cats, Jackson, Coal Train, and Luna, aka, “the other cat upstairs.” Elena holds a B.A. from the University of San Diego, a M.Ed. from the University of Washington, Tacoma, and a Ph.D. from the University of Georgia.

Webpage – http://www.elenahartwell.com

Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/ElenaHartwellAuthor/

Twitter –  https://twitter.com/Elena_Hartwell

Blog – http://www.arcofawriter.com

GoodReads – https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/3975429.Elena_Hartwell,

Pinterest – https://www.pinterest.com/emhartwell/

Purchase Links:

Amazon   B&N 

Tour Participants

April 14 – My Journey Back and My Reading Journeys – REVIEW, GUEST POST, GIVEAWAY

April 15 – Escape With Dollycas Into A Good Book – INTERVIEW, GIVEAWAY

April 16 – Books,Dreams,Life – SPOTLIGHT

April 17 – Readeropolis – REVIEW

April 18 – Dee-Scoveries – SPOTLIGHT, GIVEAWAY

April 19 – Books Direct – GUEST POST, GIVEAWAY

April 20 – Omnimystery News – INTERVIEW  

April 21- Texas Book-aholic – REVIEW

April 22 – Lori’s Reading Corner – GUEST POST, GIVEAWAY

April 23 – I Read What You Write – REVIEW

April 24 – FUONLYKNEW – REVIEW, GIVEAWAY

April 25 – The Pulp and Mystery Shelf – CHARACTER INTERVIEW

April 26 – Brooke Blogs – REVIEW, CHARACTER GUEST POST, GIVEAWAY

April 27 – Community Bookstop –  REVIEW, GIVEAWAY

BLOG TOUR – Two Heads are Deader than One was originally published on the Wordpress version of The Pulp and Mystery Shelf

[shieldofmedusa]

Z

Obi-Wan Kenobi: You need to kill Darth Vader! The very fate of the galaxy depends on it! He is pure evil. The source of all that is wrong in universe. Every bad thing that has ever happened ever is his fault - like on a personal level.

Obi-Wan Kenobi: You want me to kill him? Me? The master swordsman? The battle-hardened general? Arguably one of the greatest Jedi of all time? Oh no, I couldn’t possibly!

Obi-Wan Kenobi: No you don’t understand - I love him. Mind your fucking business.

[dream-about-dancing]

#the sum total of every conversation obi wan had 19BBY-4ABY#master yoda YOU should totally go fight anakin#padme WE need to kill- uh I mean ‘find’ anakin!#reva I’m going to give you an opportunity to kill anakin!#luke how do you feel about patricide???#(this along with many problems in the se universe could have been solved by asking Leia To Do The Thing)#obi really acting like he hadn’t had several wide open opportunities#as if my guy did not have vader lying on the ground in front of him#LIMBLESS AND ON FIRE#and couldn’t seal the deal#‘​but he thought he was dead!’ the fuck he did#denial is not just a river in egypt#kenobi is the biggest lovesick idiot in the galaxy (via @mmelolabelle)

Obi-Wan Kenobi: You need to kill Darth Vader! The very fate of the galaxy depends on it! He is pure evil. The source of all that is wrong in universe. Every bad thing that has ever happened ever is his fault - like on a personal level.

Obi-Wan Kenobi: You want me to kill him? Me? The master swordsman? The battle-hardened general? Arguably one of the greatest Jedi of all time? Oh no, I couldn’t possibly!

Obi-Wan Kenobi: No you don’t understand - I love him. Mind your fucking business.