#i mean she just seems so weird
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Katniss is such an unreliable narrator. She says "Then something unexpected happens. At least, I don't expect it because I don't think of District 12 as a place that cares about me" girl you deliver strawberries to the Mayor, you hunt and trade for the district, when you fell at Prim being chosen someone caught you, when you went to Prim people parted for you, when you volunteered EVERYONE stopped. Idk how to tell you but I think you're a pillar of the community.
#katniss everdeen#the hunger games trilogy#the hunger games#primrose everdeen#hunger games#batcavescolony reads the hunger games#suzanne collins#'now it seems i have become someone precious' NOW? GIRL BFFR you're their hunter girl#and this isn't negative just bffr girl#your WHOLE DISTRICT did the three finger salute that you yourself says means admiration thanks and goodbye to someone you love and on top is#old a rarely used. your WHOLE DISTRICT decided in that moment that they needed to bring back this sign of respect for YOU#...................................................................#idk why some people are thinking i mean this as negative i don't she is unreliable but its not intentional. like when Peeta heart stoped in#CF she doesn't know what Finnick is doing at first cus she doesn't know off the top of her head what cpr is. she also thinks Peeta after the#reaping is acting for the cameras. he isnt we dind out later his mom basically told him Katniss was gonna win and he would die. obviously#shes not doing it on purpose shes just for lack of better words uneducated? as in she doesn't know everything shes not omnipotent#so when Plutarch (? second games guy) shows her his mokingjay hiden watch shes like *wtf that's weird?* then the people traveling to#district 13 show her the mockingjay cookie and explains it and she then goes on the difference between his watch and their cookie#and why does eveyone act as if district 12 is as bad as the capital? they CANT help Katniss and Prim in the way you want. they cant give#them food. none of them have any! and im not putting iton Katniss but they hid they needed food so they could stay together. it sounds like#some of you are in this our world mentally of what people do after a loved one dies (brings food constantly checks on them etc) district 12#cant do that. they dont have food and they're all suffering. you cant give someone food when you have none to give. then theirs the fact#that peeta DID help. Peeta buring the bread and tossing some to her then taking a beating from his mom is a HUGE thing in the books.#he used his resources to help her like you all said someone should.#district 12 DID (rip) care about Katniss before the hunger games. why do you think she was allowed to hunt? or how her trades were good#these are the little ways 12 can shows Katniss they love her. but again Katniss doesn't see this and YES its because she had ptsd before the#hunger games as well. i swear some of you make it seem like d12 was all living a life of luxury and glaring down at Katniss.#other things that show Katniss is in hight standing with at least her people of d12 is her dad was known enough through d12 for peeta dad to#comment on his singing along with his commenting on her mom. also her mom is a healer in the community. yeah her parents arnt the top but#of d12 but they are/were definitely high staning in the Seam.
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Dark enchantress cookie redesign
#I've been thinking about her recently#my only knowledge of her is from kingdom so thats the only version i know but she actually seem pretty empathetic all things considered#i mean she raised velvet and keeps members of the cod that probably hinder her progress [COUGH COUGH licorice and poison muchroom COUGH]#dont get me wrong i like them alot and i think the are sweet but for a while i really didn't understand why she kept them around because of#the way all the cookies talk about her charater#she would seem verry tough love or just ruthless but in actuality she just keeps adopting these weird cookies she finds#she also knows what they are good at and plays into those strength. pome is good at keeping things organized. Mushroom is good at#keeping others guard down. licorice is willing to work hard to succeed at any task given#choco is good at fighting and keeping his team safe. she clearly knows them fairly well and also sometimes supports the stupid stuff they#want to do#i would say pome is more ruthless then dark enchantress herself#anyway i have more thoughts about her but I'll save them for a later time. thanks for reading ig ^^#dark enchantress cookie#dark enchantress crk#crk#cookie run kingdom
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“I had a dream, though,” I say, thinking back. “I was following a mockingjay through the woods. For a long time. It was Rue, really. I mean, when it sang, it had her voice.” ���Where did she take you?” he says, brushing my hair off my forehead. “I don’t know. We never arrived.” I say. “But I felt happy.” ... Peeta pulls the chain with the gold disk from around his neck. He holds it in the moonlight so I can clearly see the mockingjay. Then his thumb slides along a catch I didn’t notice before and the disc pops open. It’s not solid, as I had thought, but a locket. And within the locket are photos. […] “Your family needs you, Katniss,” Peeta says. My family. My mother. My sister. And my pretend cousin Gale. But Peeta’s intention is clear. That Gale really is my family, or will be one day, if I live. That I’ll marry him. So Peeta’s giving me his life and Gale at the same time. To let me know I shouldn’t ever have doubts about it. Everything. That’s what Peeta wants me to take from him. ... He puts the chain with the locket around my neck, then rests his hand over the spot where our baby would be. “You’re going to make a great mother, you know,” he says. ... As I drift off, I try to imagine that world, somewhere in the future, with no Games, no Captiol. A place like the meadow in the song I sang to Rue as she died. Where Peeta’s child could be safe. ....
#the hunger games#everlark#eablog gifs#eablog quotes#i always wondered why they didn't make peetas locket have the mockingay like it does in the book#and the design doesnt have any real significance which is frustrating#it vaguely looks like wheat or i thought for a while it was meant to look like the stained glass in the victors village houses#but it doesnt#putting the mockingjay on it does mean something symbolically though#like hes trying to give her the future he thinks she wants and that the rebellion might bring#but ends up also giving her the pearl which she actually cherishes#kind of by accident just because hes thoughtful which is part of why she loves him#its such a good parallel and would have been an easy visual to carry through so weird that they just didnt? for no real apparent reason?#ALSO HE WANTED TO MATCH HER WHICH IS JUST#theyre a teammm#AND the mockingjay means something different for katniss than everyone thinks#and peeta is one of the only people that seems to understand that?#for her it symbolizes family ties not the rebellion#AND HE PUTS IT ON A LOCKET WITH HER FAMILY IN IT#but she really wants to have a family with him not gale so the mockingjay still does symbolize the future and their family#so him giving it to her is significant but not in the way he thinks#AND its like hes reclaiming the mockingjay for her again in some small way when everyone is taking it for themselves and using it#i actually cannot with them
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the other day i was explaining to my bf how i don't mind "genderbent" merlin art if it's not annoyingly heterosexual because she's transfem to me but "genderbent" arthur art just feels so very unrealistic. if he was born a girl he would just transition to be honest... people will try to do genderbending but "trans positive" by just saying it's lesbian merthur but then they're both conventionally feminine cis women and truly i don't think that works with their characters... merlin who defies every boundary and societal norm? arthur pendragon? arthur would never be a cis woman he would just transition sorry...
actually hold on. arthur is assumed to be a "tomboy" crossdresser and he pretty much only takes on the role of a princess when his father expects it. considered a harmless fancy. gets to the point where everyone even his knights call him prince arthur but as a "joke" because of how masculine he is. merlin gets assigned as the princess' maidservant and eventually arthur is like Merlin... you must understand... this isn't playing dress up, to me. this is who i am. and merlin's like Ohhh Okay. Lol. Me Too it's okay i get it. and then she walks away and it takes arthur days to realize that merlin was implying she's transfem
there's your yuri merthur if it was awesome and transgender. butch transmasc he/him lesbian arthur and genderfluid trans girl merlin. love wins!
#arthur's name remains the same because part of the magic seemed to imply they'd be having a boy and ygraine picked it#arthur jokes that his name was fate#he/her merlin is something that can be so very personal#or technically maybe she/him for this au?? i don't actually think she has a preference... she just chose to present as a woman when she cam#to camelot because she hadn't had the opportunity to socially transition etc growing up#i think arthur gets called the girl king rather than the boy king but its like gender affirming for him#also i want to note that i'm normal i don't think merlin is transfem because of the stupid ass joke about him being a crossdresser. that wa#stupid and weird and transmisogynistic. sigh. 2008 moment. i have other reasons but mostly it comes down to i like women and i thjnk merlin#has a yuri thing going on always. it's an alluring concept because nothing would crack your egg faster than magic disguises that change you#gender etc etc. there's a lot of interesting scenarios that could occur#my posts#transmisogyny mention#(in the tags i mean)#bbc merlin#merthur#🧵#also merlin doesn't wear dresses very often for a variety of reasons#they're saved for special occasions#generally she's just a Girl with her pixie cut and silly boots and ridiculous neckerchief#weirdest thing is people only making merlin feminine for fetishizing reasons (and we're Not talking forcefem girls 😞)#let's all come together and be normal
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A succubus and a demon! (The succubi don't have names but the demon is Kronos and the succubus is one of his bosses in Hell and he's not /fond/ of the succubi for many reasons but they all adore picking on him)
Also because I love them and like to point it out, the succubi act more as pleasure dealers in the sense of they offer up whatever a human wants most in exchange for their soul. It's rarely of a sexual nature since it's what they want MOST in life. And most people's ambitions are outside of a bedroom. (happy pride, asexuals are able to get affected by a succubus now without discrimination)
#my characters#did i make succubi in a plot that i could fall victim to as an asexual personally? yeah#kronos is just a petty lil baby with a younger brother who is very nice for a demon#kronos is responsible for being a dick to everyone in the plot and yet has the weirdest morals and its not fine#but hes gonna make that everyone elses problem not his#for instance he originally goes to earth bc a human has somehow just stolen all of the Devils attention and its annoying#why fixate on one human doomed to Hell just let the guy live and die then fixate#so he goes to kill the human but ends up saving the guy and then agonizes because even as a demon#its REALLY tacky to save someone and then kill them#so he doesnt kill him and instead demands to be a roommate until he returns to hell#and then they team up to kill demons and other creatures that seem obsessed with the human#and so they just kinda kill and banish demons back to hell and its fiiiine kronos is just causing problems for Hell#thats not even a new issue hes always doing that !#and then they meet a siren who refuses to talk and kronos is like oh time to be the biggest dick ever#and is like well if she wont talk and she needs a name i vote halibut#as a mean joke bc why would she want to be named after a fish#and she lights up and is SUPER happy and nods and beams and is so happy with her new name#and then the human is like well she needs more clothes than one outfit right#also shes barefoot and its cold i need to buy her shoes idk what tho#and kronos is like here buy her these rainboots and so the guy buys them and is like just wear these#until you can show me what you want bought ok and halibut is in love with her cute lil yellow rainboots#so basically everything kronos does out of spite to the weird mute siren (by choice) backfires#and she adores him and doesnt know hes trying to be mean to her#anyway the succubi collectively like to pick on the really silly and childish demons they outrank#like kronos! so he is constantly a target for them to mock which is why he isnt fond of them which fuels them more#the succubi are just really chill most of the time though ?#and its just. i love my succubi ok theyre wonderful#and that has been another story time in the tags bye
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Genuine question, where are yall getting the “robins eye dots + the stuff behind her are Xipe colors” from?
Because like I don’t see it, like at all. Xipe has like every color under the sun behind them and the shades aren’t similar to Robin’s at all, they aren’t in the same order and there’s like three million other colors mixed in there. I do think the “that rainbow behind her represents moon lesbians” is a little silly because even if it looks like the flag I doubt hoyo’s devs know what those are (I learned about them today 😭).
However, the other colors on the traffic lights and her cheeks straight up look like they are meant to look like a lesbian flag or at least a pastel version of one, and for the life of me I can’t see where people are coming from when they say it’s related to Xipe. I guess her eyes cover the other colors, but purple and yellow are still missing if she truly wanted to represent them on her face alone
Idk man, let me know your thoughts
#honkai star rail#hsr#penacony#robin hsr#robin#ik “erm colors” doesn’t really count as coding but if you combine it with everything else#It really does seem that they want Robin to be a lesbian or at least sapphic#However she did make a lot of flirty comments towards Boothill in the trailer#So ?!??#Might just be a Ruan Mei situation though#Bc apparently she made some flirty comments towards ratio in the 1.6 livestream#That doesn’t at all reflect her actual personality + ratiomei is ass#I mean the livestreams aren’t canon anyways#I don’t really think what Robin said was anything more than hoyo talking through her tbh#“Look at this cool cowboy#Maybe it’s a conflict of interest#Livestreams aren’t canon anyways and unlike demos they contain the least canonical version of a character#Its where the character Va really gets their time to shine#Honestly people need to realize that livestreams and demos and content like the concerts aren’t canon#As much as I love it#the Aventio interactions in avens demo didn’t literally happen even if they are accurate#Representations of the characters#and made to be in character as if it did happen#So canon but didn’t literally happen#It’s weird
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Idk if this is a hot take but why is it always “Kai slaved away and worked his ass off to raise his sister” and never the other way round or them working hard together?
Like, I know he’s older but in the show, does he really… act older? Like if you think about Kai and Nya’s dynamic yknow? Because from my understanding:
When Kai and Nya are introduced we see Kai fail at making a sword and Nya being the one to chide him for it. Kai makes an overconfident statement about wanting to be a better blacksmith than his father. This suggests that one, Kai is rather rash as well as inexperienced (something that lines up with the rest of his character arc in the pots and also generally), with Nya being the more mature figure in contrast
Also just a note but in the shorts: “I can handle it!” “No you can’t, stupid”
Kai frequently being very good at neglecting people or things: leaving Lloyd at an arcade whilst being focused on finding samurai x, not even knowing samurai x was Nya or that she only did it because she felt left out by him, completely abandoning both Nya and Lloyd in s3 (and Ik he was going through it at the time, but in line with the fandom’s characterisation of him)
Kai in season 5: “After I lost my dad, I lost my way. But I was lucky to have my sister watch over me”
Generally, their dynamic isn’t one where Kai really provides for Nya at all. In fact, judging by the fact that Nya can make entire mechs and Kai struggled to make a sword, Nya was probably busting her ass to provide for Kai. And judging by the s5 quote, that’s probably true. I’m not saying Nya raised Kai, it just rubs me the wrong way when she’s treated like a decorative flourish to a narrative that paints Kai as a burnt out child who was forced to grow up too soon especially since that is such a mischaracterisation of him in the first place.
#all I’m saying is that it’s weird we undersell all of the sister’s capabilities just so we can present the brother as tormented and burdened#ignoring the fact that he spent all his days in the gap between the pilots and s1 playing video games#like I’m sorry kai is a pathetic baby girl in the show and I LOVE HIM THE WAY HE IS#okay yeah I snapped a little#I’m just tired of everyone mischaracterising him yknow#like I’m sorry bestie he’s not that capable he’s a loser man and I am ready to love loser men#i just think that it’s an incredibly stereotypical dynamic to have one male character who everyone completely#over exaggerates their struggles to the point of making it seem that everyone else in the story either doesn’t suffer or is an asshole for#not noticing the suffering of this one hot guy#this happens in many fandoms and I think this is what’s happening here#hhhhh#I’m sorry if Kai is ur favourite and this opinion upsets you I don’t mean to be bitch#I’m just really not into this interpretation of him#again this isn’t a dog at his character I just thing people don’t get him a lot of the time#and you know what Nya is also super undersold as a character#like where’s the fucking Nya Lloyd sibling content?#she mentored Lloyd too? she taught him how to ride dragons she stayed with him on the bounty she and Lloyd only had eachother in s9#what about them??#Kai gets too woobified and Nya doesn’t get woobified enough that’s my opinion#alright I’m done sorry#Ninjago#rant#ig this is a#ninjago analysis#i won’t tag characters cuz I don’t want to make anyone upset#and again I’m sorry if I do
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shirt with a heart and child of divorce written on top but then there’s a picture of huntclaire. you wouldnt get it. i do
#child of divorce but theyre married and love each other but actually they’re divorcees#theyre like those couples that get married and then get divorced and then get married again. actually that’s so chic#you should be divorced by the time you’re 27. a little divorce makes life more exciting#do not consider red carpet diaries at all when writing claire but if i were to consider it#she wouldve broken up with hunt sometime after hollywood u and then it would’ve been kind of a divorce#<- well my timeline for hollywood u i mean. that would be in 2016#they get back together but they have even stronger + weirder divorcees vibes#claire is actually a divorced woman. when you think about it. that’s also a great descriptor for hunt but in a different way#so theyre like when you put two spiritually divorced people in a relationship#this makes a lot of sense to me. actually#they have the most loving relationship ever which is gross and disgusting. but when you look at them they have this weird vibe about them#theyre like bitter exes who know too much of each other and one of them is way too comfortable saying stuff in public#what do you mean theyre together and in love#huntclaire#actually i need them so be super fucking weird about each other in public#claire is too familiar with a guy who does Not seem to like her at all. why is she saying this stuff. claire thats tmi#he would do anything for her. he will still argue with her over the most mundane things ever.#her coffee order sucks and he’s not saying all That Stuff to a barista. kill him on the spot.#claire gets an extra cookie bc she threatened to cry#they’re just kinda stuck together idk. something something his line about the universe bending to get them together. he’s bitter about it#it’s also a form of foreplay but i don’t know what the tag limits are#just know that claire is weird about that as well#i mean tbf of course is foreplay what else would this be. how is this dynamic feasible otherwise#it’s*
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Shadowsan speaking to Ivy on the phone, instead of, say, Player, is fascinating. They weren't close in the previous season. I'm not sure they ever spoke directly to each other. This would suggest them bonding either offscreen during Carmen's recovery after Stockholm, or during the summer between S2 and S3
#and i for one would have liked to see that#carmen sandiego 2019#ivy cs#shadowsan cs#csweekly#and like- ivy didn't like shadowsan upon meeting him!#the way she's talking to him and promising to look out for carmen here...#idk. can't seem to pinpoint exactly what it means.#maybe that's just bc it's possibly the first time they /talk/ so it seems weird fdnbjkfdb
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People who call trans women trans men and vice versa as an attempt to misgender them make me laugh. Fool. You just look like a fool.
#Makes me sad too but its funny that theyre so lacking in brain cells (also I didn’t mean “you” as in the reader. Unless you’re a transphobe.#Tw transphobia#“He’s this “trans man!” pretending to be a woman” ok shut up she’s a trans woman and you honestly just seem jealous of how pretty she is#Like what#what goes on in peoples minds#They know it’s wrong cause I heard them say they were purposely doing it#They don’t even hid that they’re just spewing hate#They walk up to people and say “I hate trans people” instead of hi I’m not even kidding#Like who is the one being weird here
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Taylor returning over and over to the falling through the ice accident in the Bolter—everything to me
#like. just. the shock of it all#there’s something about Taylor where her experience of life is so ….. brutal#like I don’t know how else to say it but it just is. life is not easy on her it is always ready to CLOBBER her#and in a way she’s not easy on life. there’s some kind of magnets/opposite poles stuff where she’s just always drawn to the worst things#to feeling them and experiencing them and almost ??? creating them#like I don’t mean to overstate it. and I know she has a family who loves her (thank GOD)#and also she’s very practical and industrious about creating this very Instagram worthy life full of Fine Things and a Fun Time#and of course all the resources in the world at her disposal to create all the trappings of it#whether it’s a celebrity Fourth of July party or the eras tour#and she’ll do it and love it. but as all the best critics know and point out the most fascinating thing about Taylor is always the music#and it’s where all the weirdness and stubbornness and difficulties of her life. her a c t u a l longings her actual fears#her actual terrible awful experiences that she charges headlong down the paths of#is set free! and it’s breathtaking in the most shocking way#like falling through the ice! I always say the first thing that always hits me about a Taylor album is the bitterness#just this blast in the face. and her music is so gentle! in so many ways#and the packaging is so appealing and her voice is so soft and expressive and there is none of that weird experimentation#even musically (remember when she shut down imogen heap for putting a minor chord in clean she was like absolutely not. I’m obsessed)#(with that moment forever)#but like. so much of Taylor’s packaging and life and HER really does SEEM so basic or ordinary or just rich girl ordinary I guess#she likes basic things and wants basic things. but also she is so hungry so restless so angry so wounded the rich internal life is CHURNING#all the time. every second. and it’s spectacular to watch and also I will worry about her until the day I die#or just—-I don’t know. it’s going to be spectacular and it is sometimes going to be awful#but she will keep furiously writing her way through it!!#there IS such a woundedness to her. and it makes me love her so much because it’s packaged in such a way people think it must just be#whining or privilege. but it’s not! it’s just. the human condition and Taylor’s own flaws#okay I’ve lost the plot here a bit in my ramblings but yeah the ice metaphor. insanely perfect
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at what point should one go and get tested for ocd...................
#i seem to have a bit of a thing with checking things#and when i say a bit i mean it's getting very annoying#i don't actually even want to tell what i need to check the most bc it's fucking embarrassing#BC I KNOW I DON'T NEED TO CHECK IT I KNOW THAT I KNOW#AND YET.#I STILL HAVE TO FUCKING DO IT#HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#i hate it#and anyway doesn't skin picking go under ocd too#idk#i did actually once bring it up already with my psych but aaand she did agree with me but that was literally like at the end of the session#buuut i don't go there consistently yk so i just didn't have the chance to talk more abt it#but ii don't know sometimes i think that oh but what if others do the same and i'm just overthinking it#but . unfortunately the thing i need to check the most simply cannot be a normal thing lmao i am finding it very hard to believe that#that's something you guys do aswell#but then again#maybe#IDKK#weird it's weird#but it does bother me so fucking much#hhhhhhhhhhh#mayor of loserville
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Me normally: Let people love what they love
Me, after a Test Match Special commentator expresses their belief that the new All Creatures Great and Small is somehow "better" than the 1978 version: This is pure insanity and TMS can no longer be trusted on anything, how can they even be trusted to know about cricket, do they have no TASTE
#Look it's fine that this show exists and people will watch it and like it and that's ok maybe it's just not for me#But that was like a statement purely designed to piss me off#There were lots of issues with the 1978 adaptation! I still vastly preferred the books any day!#And I actually initially had high hopes for the new one because they at least cast a Scot (albeit a Highlander not a Clydesider) as James#And the actors at least looked a little bit younger than Christopher Timothy and Robert Hardy#And thank god Helen actually sounds like she's a farmer's daughter and doesn't speak RP!#But from the half hour I've seen of it I've had to write off this new adaptation#For two major reasons#First of all there's Siegfried#Siegfried is one of the key central aspects of the vibe of the books and therefore key to any adaptation#Robert Hardy was too short and too old for the part but he lived and breathed the character#The twinkle in the eye bouncing off the walls and in and out of rooms followed by half a dozen dogs utterly full of life even when angry#But this new Siegfried is just sort of... Eeyore-esque; he comes into a room and you can see the flowers droop and the set turn grey#Siegfried was angry Siegfried was happy and the historical character he was based on was no stranger to melancholy#Since Donald Sinclair did commit suicide or rather self-euthanasia after Alf Wight and his own wife Audrey died#But this slow grumbly figure in the new adaptation is not Siegfried Farnon- the book character didn't grumble more often he exploded#And why did the adaptation give him a dead wife that's so weird? What could that possibly add to the source material?#And this brings me onto my second problem which is to do with women and age#Firstly I have no idea why they aged down Mrs Hall or at least made her look younger than a woman her age would have back then#But what really drove me mad was when Heriot goes out to see some old woman hill farmer in the episode I saw#And this woman is far too clean and young-looking and you can see that she's wearing 'natural' look make-up#And a perfect set of clothes that looked like they were straight out of the House of Bruar autumn collection catalogue#Say what you like about the 1978 adaptation but old women looked like old women regardless of whether or not they wore make-up#It may be that the better quality of television screens means that the 'natural look' shows up on screen more clearly than it would have#But natural look make-up was not really a thing in the 1930s and for old women Yorkshire hill farmers I doubt they'd have much on at all#They just don't seem to be capable of allowing people to look old and wrinkled and real or have bad teeth or unattractive clothes#And everything is far too tidy- everybody looks far too perfectly country and quaint#Anyway the moral of this story is of course that I always recommend reading the books because they're much better#than any tv adaptation; but if forced to choose at least the 1970s one felt real and yet didn't have to be grim either#Ok that's my rant over please do feel free to enjoy the show I just got annoyed because the opinion was expressed on TMS
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...
#had an interesting conversation with my sister the other day. odd i guess bc my sister is pretty smart#on paper shes smarter than me. or at least less dyslexic than me#but she didnt seem to kno what cancer is. i mean like how it works. i mean. cancer is a mistake. a confluence of unfortunate accidents#leading to unrestrained cellular growth. when it metastasizes. when it moves to other parts of the body. those same cells continue growing#if u have smooth muscle cancer and it moves to your kidney. you body is trying to grow more smooth muscle on your kidney#at least as i understand it. and she asked why it wants to kill you. it doesnt want anything. it just is. its not a thing of malicious#intent. its neutral. it grows. it takes up resources. it takes up space. and it grows and grows until the organ it grows on stops#functioning properly. like a parasite she said. but no. not like a parasite. it grows like an empty space. a mass of flesh. a constant#obstructive pressure. it grows like only a tumor can. i dunno. it didnt seem to connect with her that this thing didnt want to kill our mom#but it did anyway. and she felt weird about how long she lived after they took her off any support. but thats how cancer kills#it stops an organ from functioning and most of those r important so it only takes one. so her heart kept beating for 12 more hrs bc it was#meant to beat for 40 more years. but not much it could do without working kidneys and without working blood#but that's life. that's death. that's nature. its all nutral even if it feels horrible to the individual.#i dunno. i thought it was interesting. shes 25 and her mother had cancer for 10 years so id think shed kno more#we're at a weird phase now bc its been a week since she died and everything feels normal. we'll see what happens at the wake this week#its been interesting for sure bc she was sick for 10 years but my parents didnt prepare at all for her to die#so my dad is scrambling to put together the pieces shr left behind to make sure that all the bills r paid and whatnot. he had to guess her#computer password. she didnt tell us what she wanted us to have. she didnt tell us the importance of her jewelry and who it belonged to#before her. i dunno. we're seeing the outline of my mothers Pathology in what she left behind. both in the physical objects and in the#feelings she imparted. i dunno. its been weird#unrelated
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i love madoka magica however i dont think we as a fandom talk enough about how tragic madoka herself is. probably because the narrative itself steers you away from thinking about her personally. shes not a character shes a desire that homura has, shes a force of good, shes homura's foil. but those are all madoka's narrative roles but madoka herself as a person is not really looked at because we are viewing this world from an unreliable narrator(homura) who only sees madoka as those things. The best thing homura could have done for madoka was give up on her, to let her go. because every time we go back in time the image of madoka is distorted, she loses more of herself every regression of homura's as she tries harder and harder to save her. We don't even know what madoka originally wished for to become a magical girl in the original timeline. and she actually acts quite differently than the madoka we meet. shes a lot more honest and caring and bold. by the time homura's has reached the actual anime madoka has been reduced by the sands of time to a figment of herself. she has no wants or desires of her own beyond wanting to do good and help her friends and when all her humanity is stripped away is when she finally acends to godhood because thats all thats left of her. an ideal and a faith in her. madoka kaname died a long time ago and all that is left is her ghost.
#of course homura doesnt care anymore because she cant go back she can only go forward cuz if she gives up she killed madoka for nothing#she could have left her pass away with dignity but now shes a ghost stuck in a web of time and the only thing she can do is keep trying#to save her#i feel like inately homura knows this but she doesnt want to admit to herself thats shes the real one who killed madoka kaname#this is a very charitable reading of homura#homura died too but its a clear moment because homura is our narrator#homura akemi will never come back madoka kaname will never come back#but life goes on anyway for homura#heres my truth#i loved rebellion but im actually a bigger fan of the original anime's ending so im glad it seems like red ribbon homu is coming back#i thought that ending was a lot more hopeful and beautiful and rebellion was kind of a downer but i always accepted they were parallel#and seems im right based on posters#for walpurgis#madoka uses one of my favorite literary devices which is the underuse of a character#i dont know whats it called but i love it when they dont outright develop a character usually to signal an upholding of the status quo#i already explained how madoka is not shown as a character but they do this in princess tutu too with mytho#mytho is a character from a book hes not real in the way that the others are and therefore cant actually change like the others can#hes always the focus of others and never the one thinking of others#i mean yeah he spends like the whole anime thinking about tutu but thats PART of his book its not him as a person#anyway ive been talking too much but i wanna bring up my favorite subtle use of this in takopi's original sin#the boy#idk his name rn lmao#hes straight up not present for the bulk of the manga and hes legit just absent from the ending scene despite being one point of a triangle#at first that weirded me out like??? he doesnt get closure???#but the reason was he didnt need it#the focus and moral is that those girls were 'weird' unable to be normal (because of trauma) and their closure was theyre at least together#but he doesnt need that because hes already normal hes the status quo a benchmark for the reader for the reader to judge the characters off#and the characters to judge eachother off of#anyway anyway sorry this has been so long#i had to get all of that out of me
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Lineup of all of the characters that appear long enough to need a visual representation of them in the game lol
#I added a few people that you can randomly run into around town (like at the inn or in the forest or etc) and have very short conversations#with just to kind of flesh out the world a little more in a more natural-ish seeming way. Like nobody in the main cast would really#have much reason to talk about the actual city you're in or anything. Since most of them havent lived there that long anyway.#But if there's a ''city inspector'' that you can run into whilst he's writing up notes examining the local inn. then maybe there could be a#few dialogue options with him where you can ask about things like that. since he would know more about the area as an offical Government#Worker or etc. Optional of course. since I have to be so wary of my natural inclination to lore dump lol and am trying extra hard to make i#all stuff thats easily avoided/skipped. But for the people like ME who deliberately choose to exhaust every possible optional dialogue#option and explore every single inch of the world and try to collect as much information as possible - then there are a few extra places to#do that. Though obviously not all of them just give exposition for like 15 paragraphs blandly. Some you don't really learn anything from#and it's kind of just.. random flavor to make the non-shop map locations more ''lived in'' feeling. Like the random#little girl you can talk to in the park doesn't bizarrely start reading out the wikipedia description of some War that happened 10 years ag#or whatever. she's just complains about school a little and asks if you've tried the nearby ice cream cart treats and etc lol#ANYWAY..#some of the art is so so evil but I'm not going to spend 800 years trying to clean it up and update it. whatever the hell mess I sketched#out in 2018 or whatever is just what I'm keeping lol... it is what it is#One of the many trials of the whole 'briefly work a few months on something and then abandon it almost entirely only to pick up work#on it literally like 4 - 5 yrs later and now you must contend with trying to decipher whatever weird shit you did years ago' experience lol#Also given the population breakdowns of the world in general I think there's an unrealistic amount of jhevona in this lineup since#they're a much rarer species to just see out and about anywhere but.. it IS a global trading center type area. and the game#takes place in the north (the country of Asen. near the coast. for the maybe 2 or less people who actually keep up with my worldbuilding#enough to know where that is lol (the same continent as Navyete (where the avirre'thel live)) and there's a decent concentration#of nothern jhevona only a short ways away so... tee hee..I shall pretend it makes sense and not merely me just wanting#to represent more of that species because I think their lore is interesting lol#I MEAN also realistically there would NOT be a human here because humans are extremely isolated species that don't even know the rest#of the world exists really and human territories are extremely protected from the outside world but... of course it's like.. well we need#at least One of them to be there for the Optional Lore. Same with the Ythrili. But at least those are like.. PLAUSIBLE.. not nonsensically#outlandish. If I had a Verrucalt or something in there THEN that would be truly lore-breaking almost lol#ANYWAY.. rambling that only means anything to me because nobody else knows what I'm even referencing but hbjh#also I think my character designs are so funny in the sense that I really do just love to do the same thing over and over again ghbjh#wow... random asymmetry and belts and arm straps and high collars where the neck is completely covered?? you dont say..how novel
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