#and peeta is one of the only people that seems to understand that?

[everlarking-always]

“I had a dream, though,” I say, thinking back. “I was following a mockingjay through the woods. For a long time. It was Rue, really. I mean, when it sang, it had her voice.” “Where did she take you?” he says, brushing my hair off my forehead. “I don’t know. We never arrived.” I say. “But I felt happy.” ... Peeta pulls the chain with the gold disk from around his neck. He holds it in the moonlight so I can clearly see the mockingjay. Then his thumb slides along a catch I didn’t notice before and the disc pops open. It’s not solid, as I had thought, but a locket. And within the locket are photos. […] “Your family needs you, Katniss,” Peeta says. My family. My mother. My sister. And my pretend cousin Gale. But Peeta’s intention is clear. That Gale really is my family, or will be one day, if I live. That I’ll marry him. So Peeta’s giving me his life and Gale at the same time. To let me know I shouldn’t ever have doubts about it. Everything. That’s what Peeta wants me to take from him. ... He puts the chain with the locket around my neck, then rests his hand over the spot where our baby would be. “You’re going to make a great mother, you know,” he says. ... As I drift off, I try to imagine that world, somewhere in the future, with no Games, no Captiol. A place like the meadow in the song I sang to Rue as she died. Where Peeta’s child could be safe. ....

[shinynewmemories]

Listen to me Suzanne Collins did not have to give Katniss and Peeta a history before the games. She did NOT have to do that. She could have just had their story begin when Peeta's name was called. She could have had them be total strangers until the moment of the reaping.

Like: "And the boy tribute is... Peeta Mellark!" Katniss: Who's that? Or she could have made them vaguely familiar with each other! Peeta's name is called and Katniss just thinks, Oh, I know that name! He's in my class, actually. Poor boy... Anyway!

Either way, SC could have written the rest of the story exactly the same! I think many authors would have done that! Because if Peeta's purpose in the book was to be Gale's competition, to be one of the 3 corners of a love triangle, THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN THE WAY TO DO IT!! But that's NOT how she did it because that's NOT what Peeta is.

And what is he? To Katniss, Peeta's someone who saved her and her family and received nothing in return except a beating. Peeta's someone she has had her eye on but has never worked up the courage to talk to. Peeta's someone she associates with kindness and hope. And all this before the start of the events of the book! Just because WE, the READERS, met Gale before Peeta and immediately felt a connection with him does NOT mean that was Katniss's experience! And that's what SC is trying to tell us!

To dismiss Katniss and Peeta's past as unimportant or inconsequential compared to whatever Katniss and Gale have in the present is to fundamentally misunderstand Katniss as a character and, as a result, condemn oneself to never fully understand the choices she makes in the future.

Suzanne Collins wrote it that way on purpose because she had something to say. And no one will ever be able to convince me that something wasn't "It was always going to be Peeta".

[emptyjunior]

Let's talk about Peeta, I believe he's a fully genuine person and a lot of what he said was authentic. Like he can be manipulative, he has that gift of gab, and we see it a lot more in Catching Fire or later on in the series.

But I do believe he was being very strategic in the first book as well! Like right out the gate!

Kind of the story presented to us is:

-katniss suspicious of him for being nice

-thinks he's playing the game to screw her over

-oh she was wrong he's just a good human being

And I think a lot of elements of that interpretation are true! Katniss is wrong about him trying to screw her over!

But he is still being strategic, he does have plans and he is trying to save himself, not just sacrifice for her.

We all remember the "she came here with me" moment, life changing, showstopping, hilarious. And that was a true moment! He does love Katniss!

And Haymitch interprets it as what it is, a gift to Katniss to make her seem desirable = attract sponsor attention.

But it was also very beneficial to him as well! Like ask yourself what happened just before that.

Katniss had just received a 12, the entire team was excited about just her, immediately forgetful of his 8. Peeta had just told Haymitch they could train without him, something Haymitch says he offered himself (which I believe) but Peeta is not a fool. He was aware that what happens now is: the mentor focuses attention on the one who will win! And Peeta was sparing himself the pain of Haymitch telling him that first.

So Peeta is being forgotten about by Effie and the wardrobe crew (their entire PR/propoganda department) and he is losing training from Haymitch.

So what does he do?

He goes on television and presents the plot of Star Crossed Lovers. Sells the story of the Duo, the Couple.

And it's a valuable story! Effie eats it up, Haymitch knows he can sell it, but the only way to sell it is if the two are a pair. Two lovers training together, coordinating together, being publicly mentored together.

Peeta made sure he was given every advantage Katniss was getting with one simple interview, he's always been strategic. Even more strategic then Snow cause he actually knows how to sell the truth.

And immediately after that is him and Katniss's little moment where they talk about humanity together. Peeta confesses that his greatest fear is becoming like the people in the capitol, becoming not himself.

And Katniss doesn't really understand what he's talking about! And my first read I didn't either!

He's feeling guilty cause he just sold himself. He participated in the bread and circuses, and he's reeling at how easy it was and how good he is at it.

[quiet-out-there]

Please

summary: When Finnick notices how the reader's drink has been spiked with sex pollen at one of President Snows Balls, he and Peeta make a plan to save her from the special services the victors sometimes provide for the capitol. Finnick causes a distraction, while Peeta makes sure to take the reader away to safety, only the plan doesn’t go accordingly, and ends up with a sex crazed reader stuck on a closet.

Pairing: Peeta Mellark x Reader

Warnings: sexual content, slight dubious consent, fingering, lots of praise, dom!Peeta??, reader under sex pollen

Notes: This is my first attempt at a shortfic about Peeta Mellark, as I have been quite obsessed with him lately This story is a short fic with little to no plot, so, enjoy the smut ;) For any weird grammar mistake, feel free to correct me for as inglish isn't my first lenguage!

Word count: 6.6k

Giff: @xiaolanhua

Finnick cursed out loud, grabbing the attention of some of the most important and exclusive people in Panem who were nearby. They began to chuckle and whisper among themselves in return, clearly enjoying the sudden outburst of District’s four beloved victor. Peeta, on the other hand, quickly realized something was wrong, politely ending the conversation with an all too eager sponsor who was in the midst of trying to convince him to go back to her room together. She was old, caked with so much makeup her features were almost unrecognizable. Staring at her for too long made Peeta feel uneasy, as if he were in a fever dream, where everything was washed in an eerie distortion, almost normal but not quite. 

“Are you okay?” was the first thing he said once he got to Finnick’s side, standing beside one of the absurdly food collapsed tables at one of the ballrooms corners. He was holding a glass filled with sweet smelling liquor, his hand so tightly wrapped around it his knuckles were turning white. Peeta was sure it was going to burst into pieces in just a matter of seconds, so he quickly reached for Finnick’s hand, surprised to find little to no resistance as he took the glass away and set it on the table. The motion seemed to snap Finnick out of whatever trance he had been in, blinking at Peeta as if he were just now assessing his presence there.

“What?” was all he could manage to say, his eyes returning their focus to something far away, the feather of a muscle twitching as he grounded his jaw.

“What's wrong?” Peeta pushed, following the man's gaze in an attempt to understand what he was seeing that was making him so mad. Finnick had a temper, Peeta knew that, but it was always tightly concealed in that calm and easy-going facade he portrayed, his armor against everything. It took quite an effort to make him lose his composure.

“(y/n)” He answered, voice made of steel. Peeta frowned, eyes desperately trying to find what was going on, his chest tightening at the mention of your name, “They dosed her drink with an aphrodisiac powder.”

Peeta’s whole body froze, his eyes snapping back to the man beside him. 

“What do you mean aphrodisiac powder, what the hell even is that?”

But Peeta could already imagine what it meant, what they were doing it for. Anger rose in his blood like fire, pumping into his heart, beating so fast it was starting to make it hard for him to breathe -

“Finnick” He managed to get out, hand coming up to grab the man’s arm, turning him to face him.

“I recognized this man talking to Snow earlier” Finnick began, his eyes closing as one of his hands came to massage his temple, as if a piercing headache was making it hard for him to think “He is the one who arranges the customers for-,” he took a deep breath before opening his eyes to meet Peeta's wide ones “ the special services from the victors the capitol sometimes provides”

His stomach churned in a way that threatened to make Peeta vomit every expensive item of food he had ingested tonight, right on the pristine marble floor. He knew exactly what Finnick was talking about. Haymitch had told him about this business Snow ran, a way for him to further control the victors, make them pay for whatever rule breaking he deemed was done on their game, threatening their family’s life as a cost of it. But (y/n) had won fair, she had outsmarted the players, not the capitol, she didn't deserve this, she-

“I have been watching this man all evening, analyzing his moves, trying to figure out who Snow had sold to him,” Finnick continued, interrupting Peeta’s running thoughts. “It was easy enough to discover, with the way he has been practically stalking (y/n) all night.” An exasperated sigh escaped his lips “But something is different this time. He hasn't come up to talk to her and she is completely oblivious to him, as if she doesn't know what Snow has done, as if she hasn't been warned what would happen if she denies”

Her family, massacred. Peeta swallowed, his throat painfully dry all of a sudden. 

“That’s when I noticed what he was doing” Finnick’s hands bawled into fists by his sides, his eyes returning to scan the room before returning to Peeta’s, “They are drugging her, filling her with aphrodisiac poison that will make her unable to think of anything more than sex. They are making her into a puppet so they can take advantage of her, avoiding the resistance, the threats, the compromise on her part.”

“That is sick” Peeta breathed out, feeling lightheaded and utterly disgusted.

“People here in the capitol are absolutely rotten” Finnick spat, “I have been a victim of that drug before. It is so potent, it makes it physically painful to deny sex, it forces the body to need it on a primal level, triggering an almost survival instinct.” 

Peeta cringed at the thought of Finnick, barely a teen, being a subject to all this.

“We have to do something, we have to save her” Peeta rushed through whispered words, his eyes looking around them in search of anyone who could be eavesdropping on their conversation.

“Yes” Finnick agreed, “But we must do it inconspicuously, or they could end up hurting her even more.” 

“What is your plan?” Peeta’s breathing eased a little, his chest loosening at the reminder of Finnick’s clever mind. 

“Once the effects of the drugs kick in, she will quickly excuse herself to the bathroom. There, I will intercept the man, distract him. Make a big scene if I must.” The ghost of a smirk pulled at Finnick’s lips at the thought, before it was quickly wiped away as he continued “You will find (y/n) and get her the hell out of here, but not to her room. They will be probably expecting her there” Peeta shuddered at the thought, nodding at Finnick.

“Where is she now?” Peeta inquired, his eyes returning to the crowd, unable to find the girl in question.

“Near Snow’s fountain, to the left side of the room. She is talking to a man with a neon green top hat.”

Peeta found you instantly then, the loud pounding of his heart in his ears drowning any other sound. You looked so beautiful, he couldn't help to notice, with your hair pulled away from your face in an elegant updo, filled with colored jewels that caught and reflected every light on the ball room, like a beacon. Your dress was made of black jewels as well, hugging every hill and dip of your body in an exquisite way, a slit on the side of your hip revealing the tan skin of your right leg. And your smile, so bright as you laughed at some joke the man before you had uttered, it took his breath away- until he realized how your chest was moving rapidly, as if the air entering your lungs wasn't enough, at how your skin was covered in a sheen of sweet, some stray away hairs curling around the nape of your neck and around your face, and at the way your hands had begun to tremble, hiding the away by clasping them tightly behind your back.

“It is starting,” Finnick commented, straightening his shoulders as if preparing himself to move. Peeta did the same, struggling to calm his fast beating heart.

You offered the man another smile, this one polite, apologetic. The man dipped his head and moved out of your way, allowing you to begin moving into the crowd of people dancing on the dance floor, towards the other side of the room, where the bathrooms were located. Finnick nodded at Peeta, signaling to start moving the same way as you. They got to there first, and Finnick leaned forward to whisper right on Peeta’s ear, in a gesture that seemed like a warm goodbye from a friend to the ignorant eye. 

“I will go for the man, you grab (y/n) and leave right away, don't waste time on explanations until you are both alone and safe.” 

Peeta nodded, clasping his back as reassurance. He could do this, he told himself, willing his body to calm down, to gather his anxious thoughts. 

Before Finnick finally pulled away, he added in a tense, almost somber tone, so lowly his words almost got forgotten among the chattering crowd.

“Do what you must to help her, she’ll be glad it was you and not someone else.”  

Peeta’s brows furrowed in confusion, but before he could ask what Finnick meant by that, he was already being swallowed by the crowd, disappearing among the vibrant colors, the moving bodies, the discordant music that made Peeta’s teeth greet in discomfort. 

Peeta moved onto the side of the bathroom door, acting as if his shoelace had been untied and crouching down to fix it, avoiding anyone starting a conversation with him that could complicate his inconspicuous escape. 

It only took a couple of minutes before he heard your voice,

“S-Sorry, excuse me please” You sounded breathless, words tight in your throat, as if the mere effort to get them out was painful. 

Peeta got up then, instantly identifying you making your way out of the crowd in a desperate attempt to get to the bathroom. He walked up to you just as you took the door handle in your shaky hand, grabbing your wrist in a secure grip before pulling you along with him, without stopping to say anything. You gasped in shock, stumbling slightly over your feet before you could manage to keep up with his fast pace. You pulled at his hand in an attempt to be let go, but he ignored you, mind only focused on one thing-

The exit door, only a couple of steps away

 “Peeta!” you exclaimed as you finally recognized him, struggling to maintain a composure, smile wavering between a frown and a grimace of pain “What the fuck are you doing?” you whispered, feeling as though your vision was shaking, not being able to see people anymore, just shapes and colors merging together in a sickening spin-

You were going to throw up.

“I’m going to be sick” you pleaded, arm now falling limp on his firm grip, deciding to leave fate in his hands- unable to do anything to resist, and knowing deep down Peeta would never hurt you.

Peeta’s heart squeezed on his chest as he heard you, and he opened his mouth to explain -what? he did not know- anything to make you feel better, to help you understand what was going on,

But then a crushing sound vibrated across the room, making people gasp and scream in shock, their attention now focused on the other side of the room. 

Finnick

Peeta let out a sigh of relief as he got to the entrance door, which was luckily open, not a peacekeeper in sight.  He didn't waste a second to pull you out towards the main hall, where the elevator to the victor's rooms was.

“It will be alright (y/n), I promise” Peeta finally spoke, his voice just above a whisper, as he continued his way with unbreakable determination, both of your steps resonating against the glass floor the only sound in the spacious room “just trust me, okay?”

You felt as if Peeta’s voice was coming from underwater, muffled and far away- But still managed to understand.

“Okay” You replied, unable to voice any other word running through your dizzy brain - Your heart, you realized, it was beating so fast you couldn't catch a breath, and your skin, it felt so uncomfortable, so tight against your body- you wanted to rip it out. And the heat, the fucking heat

Peeta’s hand freed your wrist as he pressed the elevator’s button in a frantic pace, his other coming up to grip your hip, pushing so you stood in front of him, blocking the view of your body with his. 

You were so close now, bodies almost pressed together. His smell invaded you like the most intoxicating, addictive perfume you had ever sensed, tightening your chest in a silent hitch of breath - And his touch- so firm and strong, fingers pressing down on the overly sensitive flesh on your hip witch was barely covered in the thin material of your jeweled gown- it set flames through your veins

Peeta heard the rush of voices coming down the hall, right from where you had come, before he felt their quick heels clad steps coming closer. Whatever Finnick had done, it had set a commotion enough to make people begin to retreat to their chambers in a hurry. 

His eyes snapped to the elevator, the bright gold number still stuck on the 7th floor, and he realized it wasn't going to come by quick enough - They were already nearing the corner, they were going to catch the both of you, they were going to take you away and hurt you-

He secured your hand in his before he began to pull you further down the hall, your feet struggling to find their footing but managing not to stumble over them as you followed him. There was only one door in the hall, right on the end of it, a black metal block painted in bright gold. Peeta didn't bother to knock on it as he grabbed the handle, twisting it at the same time he pushed the side of his body on it to open it- and to his surprise and utter relief- it did. He didn't waste a second to push you inside, head twisting back one last time to see down the hall, where he noticed a couple of people beginning to appear, their vibrant colors striking against the pristine white walls and gold floor details. 

He closed the door behind him, leaving out the light from the hall, engulfing you both in complete darkness. He let out a long breath, his head dropping back against the door frame, a chuckle leaving his chest before he could stop it.

You tried to blink back the darkness, but your eyes were still struggling to adjust. Something was very wrong, you realized, as you couldn't seem to make the air from the space enter your lungs. You stepped back from the man in front of you in an attempt to gain some distance and ground yourself, but you felt the cool jab of metal meet your back- you twisted on the spot, freeing your hand from Peeta’s as you extended your arms in front of you. And you felt, to your utter horror, how on every side you were met with metal railings or the cool feeling of painted concrete walls. 

The space was tiny. A closet, of some sorts, you figured with a leap of your heart.

 “I can't” you gasped aloud, one hand coming up to clutch your chest, pulling at the absurd number of necklaces that had been wrapped around your neck- it felt as if you were choking “I can't breathe.” 

Peeta’s hands were instantly extended in search of you, his eyes wide in an attempt to see something, but only being met with darkness. 

“It is okay, hey, I’m here” He whispered, one of his hands brushing your shoulder. The contact made electricity run down your body, and you twisted in an attempt to get away from his touch, managing only to bump into the railing so hard, their contents began to fall onto the floor-

Peta cursed under his breath at the loud sound of stuff crashing against the glass floor, his heart drumming onto his chest as he felt the footsteps from outside alarmingly close. 

“Hey, hey calm down” He tried again, his hand grabbing your shoulder this time. And you tried to twist away again, desperate to get away from the warmth, the heat of his body, his burning touch-

it was too much, too much 

You pushed into the railing again making it crash against the wall in a loud bang. 

“(y/n)” Peeta rushed, his voice tight on his chest in anxiousness. But you didn't hear him, wouldn't hear him, needing to get away, desperately trying to do so-

Peeta felt the voices outside begin to wonder what those noises down the hall were, their loud cackling dimming down as if to hear better. He knew it was only a matter of seconds before somebody came up to investigate,

“Calm down” He ordered, voice low, almost a murmur. You could feel it vibrating on your chest, “We have to stay quiet, or they will find us.”

You tried to reason with his words, to obey, to understand what the fuck was going on - but then a pang of pain shot down your belly, taking the air from your lungs in a rush of a breath, before settling in a tight coil of aching between your legs. It made a whine fall from your lips before you could stop it, eyes closing as you hugged your body tightly.

Peeta’s heart stopped when he felt nearing footsteps, arms shooting forward when he heard your loud whine of pain at the same time, determined now to make you quiet. One hand found your hip as the other your arm, and he didn't waste a second to twist your bodies, so you stood with your back pressed to his chest. One of his strong arms circled your waist, locking you into him in a grip so tight you couldn't move an inch, as his other hand came to your face, palm pressing onto your mouth to silence any noise. 

And just like that, your senses cleared, they sharpened, they focused and circled on only one thing-

Him.

The way his warm body was pressed to yours, the feeling of his strong muscled arm wrapped around your waist, the way his chest pushed against you in every intake of breath, the feeling of his heart pounding so loud and fast against your back- and his god damn smell, so sweet and dark and intoxicating- it made the coil deep within your core tighten painfully, breath hitching on your throat.   

Peeta strained his ear to hear whatever was going on outside, the footsteps stopping just inches away, its shadow casting beneath the door frame. But it was so hard to concentrate on anything else that the way for body felt pressed to his - so warm he thought you might be having a fever-  and the way you were breathing so hard and fast, you were panting against his hand- but he could notice, he could see how much you were trying to do as he said, to stay still and be quiet, even if you were in so much discomfort 

“That’s it, calm down” He whispered, lowering his head so his lips were pressed to your ear, making sure only you could hear him. “You are doing so good” he praised, the words warm against your skin. 

The way he phrased those words was enough to make a shiver run through your spine and make your head spin with desire. You hadn't noticed the way you had begun to press further onto him, almost as if desperate to be closer, to feel him even further. And his hand, his fucking hand had begun to rub the side of your waist in a comforting way,

You were melting. But you wanted more, you needed more-

Peeta tried to ignore the way you had begun to move against him, how your breathing had changed to something deeper, how your mouth let slip little whines and moans against his hand. He knew it was the drug's effect, he knew you couldn't help it, he knew he had to maintain a clear head, to take care of you and make sure you stayed safe.

And then you felt it, as you ground your body against his, you felt something hard begin to press against your ass. It made something in you snap, a need so desperate and maddening, it made fire rush through your veins as if boiling from the inside out- it made your brain drunk and fuzzy with desire- and the pain, the excruciating coil tightening between your legs, it was too much, too much.    

Peeta felt your hand suddenly grip his, moving his arm away from your hip. He felt almost in a daze, as if unable to stop you as you moved it down your body. His breath hitched in your ear as you pressed his hand right between your legs, where you needed him the most. The thin material of your jeweled gown was the only thing standing between his fingers and your pussy- he could feel how warm you were, and cursed aloud when he noticed also how wet. 

“We can't” He whispered; voice slightly breaking as he felt you increase the pressure of his fingers “They have drugged you with an aphrodisiac. You are not thinking straight-”  

A moan slipped through your lips, muffled by his hand still pressed against your mouth. Peeta's eyes strained on the doorframe, noticing the shadow gone. He almost sighed in relief, until he felt the loud chuckles coming from outside-

they were still there.

Your brain couldn't comprehend anything else but the need for him. A need that was becoming so strong, the pain was unbearable. You could feel tears swell in your eyes as you gasped, your other hand coming up to push away his own from your mouth. 

“Please, Peeta, I can't take this anymore- I” you choked on a whine when you felt his other hand slip from away from your body “-I need you, please, just help me.”

You pleaded, head dropping back against his shoulder in utter defeat. 

Peeta cursed again, eyes tightening shut as he searched for the will to contain himself, to find a way to reason with you, to make you understand how this was so wrong-

But then he remembered Finnick's words. ‘Do what you must to help her,’ what did he even mean? Was this the only way you could go through this? You would hate him for it, Peeta thought, taking advantage of you like this- but you were in pain, you were literally crying and shaking in his arms, he couldn't stand seeing you like this, it was breaking him-

“Please” you whined, your own hand coming between your legs to relieve some of the pressure there in a futile attempt- you felt absolutely nothing.

“Okay” he murmured against your ear, telling it more to himself than to you, making up his mind. “How can I help you, (y/n), just tell me how.” 

You sigh in relief at his words, closing your eyes in anticipation.

“Touch me” you whispered, breathless “Please.”

Peeta felt lightheaded with the way you were so desperate, so needy for him. In any other circumstance, he would have given away with the first please ever uttered from your beautiful lips- because you were always so composed, so strong, so unwavering- hearing you like this was making him almost as desperate for you as you were for him.

“Please what?” Peeta couldn't help to reply, his voice just as breathless as yours, beginning to move his arms, tentatively resting his hands on your hips.

You groaned in frustration, beginning to push yourself away from him so you could turn around to face him when you felt one of his strong hands spread across your abdomen, pushing you right back against him. He was so strong, you couldn't help but think, imagining his hands pushing and pulling other parts, handling you as if it were nothing-

“Please, Peeta” you begged.

Peeta melted at the sound of those tight words in your throat.

“So polite” he praised, finally moving one hand to the side of your hip where the slit of your gown began. His callous warm fingers met your bare skin there and you sighed in content “Such a good girl” he whispered, mouth pressing down just below your right earlobe, in that sensitive spot that felt to good it sent tingles down your body and made you moan out loud before you could stop it-

Peeta’s other hand instantly moved to cover your mouth once again, roughly pushing your head back against his shoulder. 

“What was that?” A woman’s voice exclaimed from the hall outside, filled with delight “Sounds like someone’s having a good time!”

Peeta cursed on your ear, the words sounding even more coarse coming out of his mouth. 

You whimpered, unable to take the pain between your legs any longer- your heart was beating so fast, it seemed as if you couldn't catch your breath, your skin so taut you thought it might snap over your bones, and the heat- you thought you might pass out 

“Shh it’s okay” Peeta tried to calm you, his eyes glued to the shadows now outside of your door. Had they figured someone was inside here? “Be quiet doll, you can do it.”

You nodded your head in a haze, desperate to show him you would do anything he said. 

Peeta knew you couldn't take it any longer, practically limp in his arms, trembling in his grip. He took in a shaky deep breath before he began to move the hand on your hip underneath the surprisingly thin material of your gown. Your skin was so smooth and soft, and so, so warm- Peeta had to take a minute to just caress between your hip and upper thigh, savoring the feeling of your tender flesh beneath his rough fingers - before he heard your impatient cry from within his hand covering your mouth. His heart skipped a beat when he noticed the shadows beneath the door begin to move away, using the courage to finally dip his fingers between your thighs. His breath hitched when he noticed you didn't have anything under your gown, being met with your bare pussy right beneath his finger, hand freezing in place as the realization of what he was doing, and to whom, dawned on him.

He was about to fuck (y/n), districts four beloved 73rd hunger games victor.

“You are killing me” you mumbled against his palm, desperately pushing your hips forward in an attempt to increase the pressure of his fingers where you needed him most. So, he dipped his hand further, his muscled arm tensing over your belly as he did, bringing you flushed against him. And his fingers, ever so slowly, began to part your folds, his eyes closing as his head dropped down to lean on your shoulders at the feeling of your slick coating his fingers, smoothing his entrance. You bit his hand in an attempt to quiet the moan bubbling on your chest, head pushing back against his shoulder in an attempt to get a grip on yourself.

“So good” he murmured, lips tightly pressed to your ear “So good, so quiet.” 

You could feel your eyes roll to the back of your head as he began to rub your wetness up and down, right over the bundle of nerves that send electric waves of pleasure down your body. One of your hands came down to grip his arm, pushing it down with further force- Peeta instantly knew what you wanted, what it meant- and he obliged, increasing the pressure and pace of his fingers. 

The people outside began to cheer for something, the noise followed by clapping. Peeta didn't waste a second to remove his hand against your mouth, moving it down to your chin as he pushed your head further back, adjusting so his ear was right over your mouth-

“Let me hear you doll” He breathed, his fingers quickening their pace almost desperately so- feeling so good it made your toes curl and your thighs squeeze around his hand. And you moaned, so desperate and needy it would have embarrassed you if it weren't for the fact that that was exactly how you felt for him. 

“Peeta” you choked out in a gasp right on his ear, and that was enough to make Peeta lose his mind, a low groan escaping from his own lips, the sound so deep and hoarse it vibrated on his chest.

You could feel his erection pressed on your backside, so hard you knew we wanted you just as much at the moment. And you wanted to feel him, God, it was all you could have ever wanted, so you started to move your hand to your back- until you felt his hand suddenly stop, making you freeze in place. You could hear his ragged breathing, feel his heart pounding against your back-

“Look at me,” He whispered, interrupting the sudden silence. You opened your eyes, surprised to notice how they had adjusted to the darkness, able to see the outlines of the door, the metal railing filled with cleaning supplies- you were in fact, in a closet. And then you looked up, finding his beautiful face before you. 

He was so handsome; you had noticed that the first time you saw him. With his big, deep brown eyes and breathtaking smile. And now, with his messy blonde hair, his parted soft lips, his completely darkened eyes-

He looked delicious.

“You are absolutely beautiful” he murmured, the hand on your chin moving up to cup the side of your face. “(y/n)” he continued, a deep breath leaving his lips, fanning your own. You wanted to taste him so badly “You are not on your right mind, this is not what you want.”

You shook your head, exasperated.

“I want you so badly” you voiced in a shuddering breath “If you don't touch me right now, I think I might die.”

You used his stun position to free from his grasp, finally turning so you were face to face. He looked completely disheveled, his white tux discarded on the floor, and his matching shirt completely wrinkled, the first buttons torn and revealing a slit of tanned skin. 

“I-” He began but you couldn't resist any longer, shutting him up with a kiss. 

His hands were on you instantly, pulling at your hips to position you flush against him, to then wrap his arms around your waist to lock you in place. Your hand snaked to the back of his head, where you tangled them on his hair, slightly pulling it just to hear him groan again- it felt like fuel to the fire inside you. You used the moment to deepen the kiss, meeting his warm tongue inside his mouth. The kiss was desperate, hungry, lips moving feverishly against each other.

Peeta forgot about everything else, about the people on the other side of the door, about getting caught- he could only think about you, about feeling you against him, your lips on his, your tongue on his mouth- he wanted more. His hands began to roam your body, testing, feeling, kneading your soft flesh in a grip so strong you knew would certainly leave bruises. And then they were on your ass, squeezing so tight you moaned against his mouth- and he was lifting you up from the ground, your legs wrapping around his waist-

“I need you” You panted against his lips, finally breaking the kiss. The coil in your lower stomach feeling even more unbearable, the pain was making you see white dots in the corner of your vision “I need you inside me.”

Peeta leaned his forehead to yours, attempting to regain control of himself, to think straight. He sat your body against the railing, separating enough so he could see your face, meet your eyes.

And he stared at you, almost in awe before he spoke again, dropping his head back as if to force himself to stop doing it any longer.

“Your eyes” he breathed out, “they shine so black when you are hot for me.” 

You cupped his face between your warm hands, forcing him to face you as you once again begged-

“please”

Peeta wanted nothing more than to oblige - he would have lifted your gown and fucked you right there against the railings- but he knew he couldn’t. He couldn't, not when you were under the effects of a drug that altered your senses, your reasoning.   

So, he compromised. Not doing anything was torture to you, or so he told himself, moving so one of his arms could fit between both of your bodies while the other began to lift your gown and gather it just over your hips. 

“Are you going to be a good girl and stay quiet?” He panted, his ears once again registering the commotion outside. Seemed like they moved the party to the hall, he realized, glad that the noise had gone louder, hiding what was going on in the little storage closet down the corridor.

“Yes” you whimpered, unable to contain the tears swelling in your eyes due to the pain, and the excitement- 

Such a wreck for him, Peeta thought, brain drunk in desire.

“You are the one killing me, (y/n)” he murmured, holding your gaze with eyes so intense you thought he might be looking through you. 

And then his hand was between your legs again, slowly rubbing your wet folds, surprised at how they were more so than before. He quicken up the pace faster this time, taking his time in enjoying every sinful sound falling from your lips, your head falling back to lean against the railing- you gasped when you felt his other hand grip your chin, thumb and index finger pressing against your cheeks and forcing you to open your eyes

“Look at me” he panted, and you thought you might cum just by the way he was looking at you with so much hunger-

And then you gasped in shock as without a warning two of his fingers slipped inside you, his thumb continuing to rub on your sensitive clit. Pleasure shocked through your body making you involuntary shake against the rails, the pressure on your lower abdomen coiling impossibly tighter-

“I'm gonna-” you whined, head leaning forward to try and find somewhere to lean on, but Peeta’s grip held you there on place, forcing you to face him. 

“Say please” He breathed, lips hovering over yours, his fingers moving in and out of you with the perfect pressure, the perfect pace, and his thumb-

“Peeta” you whimpered.

He could feel how close you were, how your walls clenched around his fingers in the most delicious way- he thought he was close himself to climax, just by the way your face scrunched with pleasure, how your body became undone under his touch-

“Come on doll, ask nicely” He encouraged, needing to hear you beg, just one more time.

 “Please” you managed moan.

And he was merciless about it, plunging his fingers into you harder, faster, his thumb rubbing against your clit feverishly, curling his fingers and hitting just the perfect spot-

You become undone with his name on your lips, waves of pleasure erupting from deep within your tummy as the tight coil finally released, toes curling and body jerking. He slowed the pace of his fingers as he continued to ride you out of your orgasm, your shaking body finally collapsing into his, blind with gratification and exhaustion.

Peeta panted against your ear as he finally removed his fingers from inside you, proceeding to hold you tight against him before he lowered you from the railing back onto your feet- until he quickly realized you couldn't stand on your own, arms wrapping securely around your waist and across your back to hold you in place, your own coming up to snake around his neck in a solid embrace.

“Are you alright?” He whispered, his breathing still ragged, heart pounding loudly against your chest pressed to his- you on the other hand, were completely crashing, blood pressure dropping, white stars dancing in the back of your close eyelids. 

“hmm” you hummed, struggling to remain conscious.

“I think they left” Peeta voiced his thoughts, frowning in concentration as he listened for any noise outside- but it was completely quiet, he soon realized. 

You didn’t know what the hell he was talking about, brain completely fogged with satisfaction, body finally out of pain and completely relaxed on his arms, as if meant to be there all along.

“(y/n)” Peeta shook you, his tone finally above a whisper “Hey, I need you to stay here yeah? stay with me.”

You tried to nod but your head just fell limp against his shoulder-

He smelled so fucking good.

“Thank you?” He replied, amusement clear on his breathless words.

You hadn't realized you had voiced your thoughts out loud, a soft chuckle scaping your lips.

“You are completely out of it, aren't you” He sighed, leaning over you so he rested his chin on top of your head, attempting to calm himself down.

You frowned at the height difference, moving your feet, and realizing you were barefoot, heels completely lost somewhere in the tiny closet.

Once Peeta finally could catch his breath, heart in a slightly normal pace, he stepped closer to the door, your almost limp body secure in his strong arms. He pushed the side of his face flat against the cool metal, concentrating on identifying any sound that could indicate someone on the other side but-

Nothing. Silence.

“Okay” He murmured, nodding “Okay, we are going to come out, yes?”

You mumbled a reply, what? you didn't know, but it was enough to make Peeta nod again. You felt him loosen his grip on you making you react on clinging to him with all your strength, desperate to avoid the loss of contact.

“Hey, I’m here, I won't leave you” He assured you, hands pushing you by the hips to create some space between the two- and you were so completely weak, barely registering your body at all, that you couldn't avoid the separation. 

You frowned, opening your mouth to try and object, when you were suddenly being lifted from the ground and up on his arms again, this time in bridal style, with one of his arms holding under your knees as the other secured around your back. 

“Romantic” you gushed, chuckling again.

Peeta rolled his eyes, sheepish smile tugging at his lips, as he adjusted his body so his hand could twist the handle and open the door. He loosens a breath he didn't know had been holding as he registered the hall with quick assessing eyes, noticing it completely deserted.

You tried to blink at the sudden light, but it took just a couple of blinks before your eyes dropped closed again, as if the weight of them was impossible to overcome. 

“Your room is not safe” He murmured, beginning to make his way to the elevator with you tightly held on to his arms “We will go to mine.”

You nodded, the pull of unconsciousness so strong you were sure it was only a matter of seconds before you were out- so you snuggled closer to him, wrapping your arms across his neck and positioning your face right at the nape of his neck, where his smell washed over you and his warmth seeped to your skin.

And just like that, you were out with a content smile plastered on your face.

[targaryenluvs]

— HUNGER GAMES

a/n: look at my cute lil smiley fin 😭 god i love hunger games so much you don’t understand it’s my comfort movies and finn is my comfort character ❤️

RED MARKED STORIES HAVE DARK THEMES. READ WARNINGS PLEASE.

FINNICK ODAIR

— want and desire (req) dark themes

— summary: you’d thought you’d escaped the capitol, and to some extent, him, the ever so sweet and charming finnick odair. but apparently your fate had been signed, as it seemed you couldn’t get away from him, no matter how hard you tried.

— spring cleaning (blurb req)

— summary: finnick finally decides to clean out the garage with your help after you asking him forever.

— victors spoils

— summary: a victor should be celebrated! a victor should get what ever they wish, even if it’s a sweet capitol girl who misplaced her kindness in someone who was in desperate need of reprieve and distraction.

— lonely waters

— summary: even if you resided in the fishing district you only ever got close to the water for swimming late at night. it was your favourite time of the day, but it leaves you open and vulnerable to predators and people, the water won’t save you.. silly girl, don’t you remember? finnick odairs a champion swimmer.

— my people ft annie cresta

— summary: you’d been hired to help keep annie’s home clean and to keep her company. what you didn’t expect was to fall in love with her. and to find out that she was with finnick, and annie doesn’t want to let either of you go. but you’ve found your people, and you couldn’t be happier.

— miss officer

— summary: you’re tasked with training finnick odair for war and to fight in the captiol. only problem? he’s completely enamoured with you.

— breakups and makeups

— summary: you and finnick used to date, but it took a nasty turn when you heard rumours of his dalliances. but now the two of you reunite apart of the same alliance. will you make up or break up? again?

— damage control & lifeline (anon blurb)

— summary: finnick and his mentor getting into a fake relationship for damage control after peeta and katniss’ stunt at the 74th games + finnick saving his stylist from execution by proposing marriage.

— unrequited (anon blurb, implied smut)

— summary: you’d divulged one to many secrets to your favourite victor and he wasn’t afraid of using them against you. karmas a bitch!

— oh baby! (smut)

— summary: finnick found you to be as cute as ever. but you aren’t exactly the smartest in the room according to him. luckily, finnicks more than happy to help his sweet baby succeed, and he will not let you forget him.

— capitol girl (req blurb)

— summary: finnick loves his favourite victor.

— love you best part two (req, smut)

— summary: your boyfriend doesn’t exactly like you around other men without him.

CORIOLANUS SNOW

— trapped

— summary: after the 10th hunger games, coriolanus set his sights on a girl from his younger years to be his wife. disgusted by his actions and scared by the rumours your family agreed. as you realise he wasn’t the same boy from before, snow finds himself intrigued, especially when you seem to be visiting a friends house too often.

— delicate*

— summary: coriolanus had to marry. lucky for him one of the most eligible girls of the capitol was up for grabs. only problem? he hoped his cold exterior would keep her away but nothing broke her sweet spirit. what happens when he finds himself being drawn to her light? and how far was he willing to go to keep it untainted and all to himself?

— ravage delicate pt 2

— summary: he’d won the election, much to your elation. now you’d have to navigate the fame, fortune and status as the first lady of panem. but coriolanus just wanted you all to himself, and he’d do anything to scare you into his arms.

— safe and sound ft lucy gray baird

— summary: somehow you’d ended up in the games, snow and lucy would do anything to keep you safe.

— worth it

summary: coriolanus made the mistake of protecting lucy gray during the bombing, rather than you.

— runaway

summary: you’d always considered coriolanus to be a friend of yours. family even. but after sejanus’s death you find him to be off. he’s keeping something from your family and you’ve run out of time to get as far away as you can.

— our little dove ft lucy gray baird

— summary: you reunite with your dear songbird after the games, but it seems the capitol has followed her home, and taken an interest in the two of you.

— our little dove alt ending

— summary: you reunite with your dear songbird after the games, but it seems the capitol has followed her home, and taken an interest in the two of you.

— late to the party

— summary: after corio was sent away to district 12, your managed to come to terms with the fact that he did not love you by any means. but what happens when he realises he liked that affection? and what happens when you’re already in a relationship?

— brown jewel (req)

— summary: he was a lifeline and you’d grabbed on in hopes to avoid the reaping, but you were coriolanus’ obsession and he was not going to let you go.

— temper tantrum (req)

— summary: you were the daughter of one of the richest couples of panem. everything you’ve ever wanted, handed to you. coriolanus had a short temper and you were stubborn. who knows what could happen?

— mr president (req)

— summary: mr president seems to be especially enamoured with his favourite maid, you.

— all grown up (smut)

— summary: you were always tigris's annoying rich friend to coriolanus, but once he returns from 12 you seem to be irresistible, not only to him.

— charity (req)

— summary: president snow was praised for his love and devotion to his wife, a cripple. if only they knew how you’d ended up that way.

— love you best (req, smut, read as coryo or finnick)

— summary: your boyfriend doesn’t like you around other men without him.

PEETA MELLARK

— sweet like sugar (blurb req)

— summary: peeta teaches you how to bake since you’re nowhere near as good as you thought, not that you’d admit it.

—paranoia (dark req)

— summary: peeta tries to reintegrate into society in district 13 and get over his fear of you being taken from him. no one noticed just how badly the capitol messed him up until he lashes out.

SEJANUS PLINTH

— coming soon!

LUCY GRAY BAIRD

— safe and sound ft coriolanus snow

— summary: somehow you’d ended up in the games, snow and lucy would do anything to keep you safe.

— destined

— summary: you and lucy enjoy time together at the lake.

—our little dove ft coriolanus snow

— summary: you reunite with your dear songbird after the games, but it seems the capitol has followed her home, and taken an interest in the two of you.

— our little dove alt ending

— summary: you reunite with your dear songbird after the games, but it seems the capitol has followed her home, and taken an interest in the two of you.

KATNISS EVERDEEN

— coming soon!

JOHANNA MASON

— underestimate (blurb req)

— summary: johanna learns not to underestimate you.

ANNIE CRESTA

— my people ft finnick odair

— summary: you’d been hired to help keep annie’s home clean and to keep her company. what you didn’t expect was to fall in love with her. and to find out that she was with finnick, and annie doesn’t want to let either of you go. but you’ve found your people, and you couldn’t be happier.

TRIBUTE!READER

— coming soon!

(in general, no ship just the reader in the arena, with katniss n peeta etc)

[ferrarifinnick]

JEALOUSY! | THE HUNGER GAMES HEADCANON

take an og hunger games headcanon while i’m in the middle of writing a one shot for jealous!finnick. get your headcanon (and other!) requests in while the inspiration is hitting lol. anyway, onto the main event. let me know what you think! feedback welcomed <3

includes: gale, katniss, finnick, peeta.

no warnings. sfw.

gale is more jealous than he is almost any other emotion. it doesn’t come from a distrust in you, but a distrust of other men. he knows how they talk about women in the mines, and even the happily married husbands like to talk dirty about the girls in the seam. if gale catches one of these men in conversation with you, his reaction will be impulsive and immediate.

he’s too stubborn to hide his ugly feelings, and he’s too immature to fight them. expect him to shamelessly interrupt your conversations, squint his eyes at friendly faces, clench his jaw until his teeth damn near turn to dust. he doesn’t care. and in his flurry of jealousy, he will not care to shield you from it, either.

jealousy isn’t an emotion katniss experiences particularly often. this is partly because, like most of her feelings, it takes time to unscramble and understand them. but by the time she realises she was jealous, the moment’s already long gone.

but as her unscrambled feelings are hot and burning, she makes sure to use her cold shoulder to keep you at bay. short, one word answers are used in place of spitting fire at you. and while she regrets treating you this way after the feeling passes, you better not hold your breath expecting this to change any time soon.

finnick is many things, and sometimes jealous is one of them. but what finnick isn’t is blind. he knows what he has is wanted by everyone, and what everyone wants is you. he’s used to people fawning over you just as much as he’s used to people fawning over himself, and he isn’t about to shame people for having taste.

when you’re in the sights of one or maybe a dozen admirers, finnick likes to sneak over and join those vying for your attention. he’ll keep his lips shut for a little while, hiding in plain sight, but at some point he’ll lean into the side of one of the men and say, “isn’t she something?” with that famous cocky grin of his. the wide eyes of recognition don’t phase him. if anything, they frustrate him. he’ll wave a hand and say, “what are you staring at me for?” before refocusing the attention back on you. he’ll lean back against the same guy, arm wrapped warmly over his shoulders and say, “oh! tell her she has pretty eyes. she she likes that one.” he’ll hold your gaze, cheeky grin firmly in place despite the squirming men around him.

peeta’s a pacifist. but more importantly, he is polite. so when he lets go of your waist for one second to get a glass of champagne at a party, only to return a moment later to a man chatting your ear off, he’ll do what he always does. he’ll bottle it up.

he’ll return his arm to hold your waist, keep up the conversation, but something in his smile will feel ever so slightly out of place. a small eye twitch, a tightness in his lips. no matter how small, you’ll catch it, and when the mystery man eventually walks away, you’ll wait for peeta to inevitably bring him back up. he’ll say something innocent, like “so, he seemed pretty eager to talk to you, huh?” and when you don’t bite, he’ll try to ignore the urge to bring his name up again.

but like clockwork, he’ll wait a couple of beats and beofre the next song starts, he’ll say, “i just think it’s funny how he waited to talk to you until the second i turned my back…”

why is jealousy so hot? can science explain? like, comment, reblog. love <3

[somedayillbepeterpan]

i'm back with my obsession with how Luke Newton played Colin Bridgerton.

and i just realised-- the last fictional character i have felt this deep affection for was Peeta Mellark. Another sweet, soft boy. i'm a sucker for self deprecating boys.

i present today, A and B grilling C from S03e05. Colin is an open book from this episode onwards (so much so that we had to choose between understanding his anger at the LW fallout and wanting to thump his head to just talk to Pen).

Also, he's really pretty when he looks so smug and proud for wifing Penelope up.

(i only did Colin gifs but i'm trying something new when creating gifsets. i apologise once more for the rough quality. i'm still learning. practicing with Luke Newton's face is helping me. there is a combination of comments and dialogue below)

Anthony: Devon was very well, but...we have bigger fish to fry. Benedict: Hm.. Colin: Hm...

look at this face. he's so proud!

Anthony: First...(sighs) explain. [Benedict chuckles]

Anthony: Come now, you must admit, it's all rather sudden.

i loved how he recognised that his betrothal to Marina was rushed but that he also passively slagged A and B for what they think of his life decisions

favourite RMB quote

him recognising that his feelings were dormant instead of a thunderbolt speaks volumes to me because he took his time in understanding them. so from the time that he confesses, he was all in because he knows and fully understands Pen was the one for him and no one else.

i'm going to attempt to dissect every Colin speech because i saw his pattern of self deprecation in all of his love confessions. i just love this sweet soft boy!

[Benedict sighs] Colin: Mm... Anthony: Have you said these words to her?

that smug face!

Anthony: Ah, it's swift because you-- Benedict: Are you going to duel with your own brother, or...

Anthony: Well, you are marrying her, and for all the right reasons, it seems. That's all that matters.

Anthony: But tell her.

what a good obedient little brother

Benedict: First...to your wives. Anthony: Congratulations. Colin: Thank you.

people think he smelled his fingers here but i think he was wiping the side of his mouth of the drink he just had

They can never make me hate you, Colin my sweet, soft boy.

[ilguna]

☼ lovestruck, lovesick, lovelorn pt3 (Finnick Odair) ☼

summary; it turns out finnick has a lot of pent up thoughts that he’s having a hard time showing properly. at first, it seems like he can’t get enough time with you, then he begins to retreat back to his original demeanor, the one you know the best.

warnings; swearing, death mention, torture and strangulation mention, prostitution mention.

wc; 4.5k

notes; highly requested!!

part one, part two.

--

While District Thirteen seemed to be perfect by the way it was described to you, it has got to be one of the more frustrating places you’ve had the displeasure of visiting. You understand their concept of total equality to ensure fairness, but with it being taken to this extreme—you’re being driven up a wall.

To start, there’s no such thing as individuality, it’s basically a crime to suggest it. And it’s becoming a difficult pill to swallow with each rejection. You come from a Career district, one that’s known for its diversity. As you were growing up, especially in your teenage years, you were taught how to stick out just enough to make heads turn.

You’ve been using it to your advantage for years now, mainly in the Capitol. You tend to tone it down at home, because there’s no reason to stir the pot and draw attention to yourself when you’d like peace and quiet. It’s almost crazy how quick people jump to conclusions when there’s nothing going on.

It’s almost the same here. With how secluded Thirteen is from the rest of the world, all it took was you and the three other victors arriving for conversation to begin. You can’t remember how many times you were stopped your first time out of the hospital by curious minds.

Anyway, in Thirteen, you’re not allowed to wear anything besides the grey jumpsuit they’ve provided. Unless, of course, you’re a patient in their hospital. Then, you get to wear one of their itchy white gowns you also can’t take off. It took hours of begging the nursing staff for them to finally relent on the rule. And the best they could do for you was the jumpsuit. 

At this point, you’d give anything for a simple outfit. As well as a meal that isn’t pre-portioned based on your age, height, weight and muscle mass. There’s been countless times where you’ve asked Greasy Sae to give you a bigger portion on your tray, only to be told that what you have is what you get.

It doesn’t matter who you talk to, everyone refuses to believe you when you tell them you’re still hungry. They’re so set on trying to take away free will, they forget you’re not used to living this way. It’s not normal to have your entire day’s schedule printed on your forearm for you to follow by the hour. It’s weird.

They didn’t have you start with a schedule as soon as you arrived, though. After being rescued from the Capitol alongside Johanna, Annie and Peeta, you were immediately taken into the care of the hospital. Almost a month later, they still haven’t fully released you from their custody.

It might have something to do with your adjusting period, and the fact they’re comparing you to the other three. With Annie, she was able to communicate they didn’t harm her, so she was given the option to leave the hospital first. As for Johanna, she’s the same person she’s always been, the aggression just threw them off, so they kept her for a week longer than they should’ve.

As for Peeta, he’s on the extreme end. Upon seeing Katniss, he tried to kill her, which put the doctors under the impression that not everything is what they seem. That’s why they insisted on keeping Johanna until Haymitch could confirm that’s just her personality.

When it comes to you, the bright lights of Thirteen’s hospital were almost identical to the ones in the Tribute Center. They had you strapped to a chair underneath a big light in the middle of the room. It was shining directly into your eyes, all hours of the day. The only time you got a break from it was when you’d pass out from the lack of oxygen.

It took some convincing, but eventually the doctors got through to you that you are safe in their care. All lights in your room were promptly changed from white to yellow, and then they were either dimmed heavily or off completely from then on. 

As soon as you started showing signs of normalcy, you were given the option to wander the hospital wing. And when they wanted to start implementing you into their way of life, they tried to give you one of those arm stamps. You followed it for… maybe the first three days before Katniss told you it’s a bunch of bullshit.

You didn’t care for it much after that.

Honestly, that might be one of the main reasons why they continue to keep you in the hospital, instead of moving you to one of their pods, like they did with Finnick and Katniss. Apparently, they were both kept here for a while following the arena rescue. Finnick couldn’t function properly from the shock, so he wasn’t in any shape to be making decisions about his care.

The same goes for Katniss, just worse. Haymitch caught you up on her behavior, because you were curious about how she was compared to Finnick. From the sounds of it, the weight of everything that had happened hit her hard. Including the fact Peeta was no longer around for her to fiercely protect, he was in the hands of the Capitol.

You can’t imagine how painful it was for her to get Peeta back, only for him to be unrecognizable. In the few times you’ve talked to him recently—because he doesn’t have a violent reaction when he sees you—you can tell by the way he holds himself that there is something severely broken in him. 

He does not have the same softness he used to. The Capitol was successful in breaking him. 

Peeta seems to be getting better over time, though. He’s not nearly as violent as he used to be when he talks about Katniss now, but it’s still nowhere near positive. It’s just tolerance. Plutarch has been working over calls with scientists in Three on ways they can reverse the hijacking.

Every time you sit in on a meeting in the Control room, he can’t help himself when he makes jabs at you when it comes to Beetee’s death. As if you were the one that missed blocking the knife, not Finnick. And you don’t say that to blame Finnick, you’re just confused on how that was your mistake, when you couldn’t have helped prevent it.

You never feel the need to defend yourself with Plutarch, he’s not worth your energy, you did everything they asked of you. Besides, if you’re sitting in on a meeting, so is Finnick. He’s jumped to your defense plenty of times, he has no issue shutting down Plutarch when he’s making shit up. 

Speaking of Finnick, it’s a weird adjustment with him, too. If you had told yourself last year that Finnick would be defending you to other people, instead of helping them tear you down, you might’ve peed yourself from laughing so hard. Finnick swore to you, and Mags and everyone else who would listen that he would never change his mind about you. It’s funny how things have worked out.

You’re really glad you two have been able to move on from that point. You’ve known Finnick for a long time—ten whole years. If he hadn’t been so set on making you an enemy after your Games, you’re sure that the two of you would’ve been best friends. It makes you curious on how the Capitol would’ve perceived you in that case, would it have made your situation with Snow worse?

Either way, your feelings about Finnick have been the same for a while, even years before the Quarter Quell. You’ll admit there were times where you lost your patience, and dropped down to his level of disrespect. Which definitely didn’t help with the way he decided to treat you, only justified it.

All it took was Mags telling him the truth about how you’ve allowed the Capitol to treat you, something you confessed to her ages ago. You can still remember the look of horror on her face when you got into the details, and the way it smoothed over when you said you’d made an offer to Snow to take more nights for Finnick. 

Mags was truly a sweetheart. Besides Finnick’s family, she was the only other person who was able to see things correctly. And she was incredibly wise when it came to important secrets. When you told her about the Capitol, you said she could do what she wanted with the information. You assumed she would go and tell Finnick when she got the chance, a part of you had hoped it would shake him.

Nothing came of it, of course, until a couple weeks ago when Finnick told you she’d finally told him your secret. You loathed Mags for at least a week, all you could think was, “A little too late, don’t you think?” But as soon as you had a conversion with Haymitch about it, he reminded you that she did it on purpose. 

Mags waited for the perfect time to tell him, and you suspect it had to be on the night of the interviews, before you all went to bed. It would make him hesitate in the arena, see your opinion from a different angle. It made him trust you, despite the years of hatred that had been leading him prior. 

What really sealed it for him was when you risked your life to make sure his family was safe in the Capitol. Finnick’s told you countless times since you started talking to him, that he’ll never be able to make it up to you. You don’t know how many times you’ve told him that you don’t want him to. 

He’s doing enough now. In fact, he’s doing more than you expected from him. At first, it started with the two of you hanging around each other, going around District Thirteen, getting lunch and dinner together. You thought you’d be friends at most, until the two of you got caught in your feelings.

Johanna’s been making fun of you ever since she found out.

She’s currently laying backward on her hospital bed, using the pillows to keep her legs elevated and feet pressed against the wall. The hospital is beginning to drive her crazy, especially the nurses. It doesn’t help that the doctor she was assigned refuses to discharge her. She’s stuck here, like you.

Johanna’s gently rubbing her head, a habit she picked up recently. It’s not that she necessarily misses her hair, she just claims that it helps her think. She hasn’t been talking as much as she first did when you got here. It’s probably because she was able to get all of her thoughts out when she was talking to you while you were unable to respond. Everything she had kept bottled inside was let out over the course of three weeks.

It was actually fairly interesting to get inside of her head. She has good advice when it’s not clouded by anger. You’ve been meaning to ask her some questions, regarding Finnick. You’ve already picked the brains of Katniss and Haymitch, and they gave you answers that weren’t exactly thrilling to hear.

Lately, Finnick hasn’t been acting like the person he’s grown to be in Thirteen. In fact, he’s starting to revert back to how he used to be. The mean, distrustful man that could barely stand your presence in a room. But he’s inconsistent about it. Sometimes he’ll brush you off and make snide remarks, and others he’ll be kind and loving.

Haymitch wasn’t helpful, asking you if you were sure he wasn’t getting closer to Annie, like he’d been before the Quarter Quell. You told him that it couldn’t be possible because Finnick has never had feelings for Annie. It has something to do with the fact that she was too focused on her health to consider a relationship with anybody. Let alone Finnick, who had a number of problems from the Capitol. Not to mention, her parents are strict about her life.

Annie is out of the question.

Katniss had a better idea, mostly because she’s going through a similar situation with Peeta right now.  She suggested that Finnick could be acting like that because he’s confused. He had a wave of euphoria when he saw you were okay, after sacrificing so much for him. He’s been given the opportunity to make things right, but now he’s confused because he’s not used to these types of feelings about you.

This could be why he’s acting out.

The only other person you want to hear from right now is Johanna. Finnick still talks to her as much as she talks to you, which is almost all hours of the day. You’re hoping he’s said something to her recently that might give you an idea of what’s going on in his head. Or even the answer entirely.

“Hey, Johanna?” You ask.

She hums, hand pausing. “(Y/n), if you try talking to me about breaking out of this place again, you better fall through with the plan this time.”

You roll your eyes. “In my defense, I asked Coin to clear us to go outside, but she said that only Katniss and Gale are allowed to go. They hunt.”

“Sure they do. I bet they think of ways to escape, too.”

“It’s Katniss.” You agree, playing with your shoe on the floor. 

Thirteen’s shoes are unsurprisingly uncomfortable. If it were allowed, you’d walk around in your socks. You tried once, and then you got sent back to the hospital to get them. You were escorted the entire way here to make sure you wouldn’t disobey. 

“What’s your question?” Johanna asks.

You press your lips together briefly. “Have you noticed that Finnick’s acting kinda weird lately?”

Johanna doesn’t move for a second. “Weird how?”

“I mean, he’s not acting like he normally does. I think…” Your face screws. “I think he’s going back to how he used to treat me.” You look up to see her. “Has he talked to you about how he feels at all?”

Johanna doesn’t respond, so you take this as her thinking.

“If it helps, Katniss said it could be because he’s confused.” You offer, shrugging. “Haymitch said it was Annie, but that can’t be true, right?”

She looks impressed, rubs her head once or twice, and then turns to look at you. “Of course brainless is smarter than the drunk.”

“Katniss is right?” You ask.

Johanna sighs, “No, she didn’t get it exactly.” She rolls her eyes. “Listen, I told Finnick that he’s being stupid about this, but he didn’t care. He’s caught up in his head.”

“What are you talking about?”

“(Y/n), he’s told me that he doesn’t think he deserves you after the way he treated you. He said that it’s clear that you’re the better person, and he’s nothing but an asshole.” She shakes her head. “He wants to end things with you.”

“What?” You ask, getting to your feet. “When did he tell you this?”

“Last week, I think.” Johanna stares blankly at the ceiling.

“Why didn’t you tell me? We see each other every day.”

“I thought he wasn’t going through with it. If he did, you’d bring it up to me.” She makes a face. “I’ve been trying to tell him to knock it off.”

“Johanna, what did he say exactly?” You sit back down on the stool, trying to calm down.

She sighs, closing her eyes. “He said it had something to do with your generosity. You know, the whole Capitol thing. He’s hearing a lot of good things about you from Haymitch, and I think that’s freaking him out.” She starts to pick at one of the scabs she refuses to let heal. “I think he said that he didn’t understand the way you worked, and now he feels stupid about it.”

“The way I worked?”

“Like your ulterior motives.” She explains. “How you do one thing and it benefits you later on, but it looks bad from the outside. Finnick said that you have a heart of gold and it took you getting tortured for him to feel that way. He feels selfish.”

Your eyes dart to the clock, wondering what time it is. The hospital’s curfew will go into effect in a couple of hours. They don’t like it when their patients are out past a certain time, they have a routine when it comes to gathering vitals.

“I’ve got to go.” You say suddenly, bending down to pull your shoes on.

“Where?” Johanna asks, twisting to sit up.

“I need to talk to Finnick, now.” You tell her, standing up. “I’ll see you later.”

You leave her room before she can stop you. You’re a few steps down the hall when you hear the automatic door swish shut. Finnick could be anywhere in the bunker, but he’s been hanging out in the Control Room a lot recently.

You go there first. Down the hospital hall, up six floors on the elevator, down a muggy hallway and up to the door. When you knock, no one answers. It isn’t until you’re pounding on the door, does it swing open, to a very irritated President Coin.

“Can I help you, miss (L/n)?” She asks, eyebrows turn down. “We’re in the middle of a meeting.”

“Is Finnick inside?” You ask. “It’s urgent.”

“No, I have not seen him. Try Heavensbee.” She goes to swing the door shut.

You place your foot in the crack before she can shut it entirely, and regret it almost instantly from how hard she was going to slam the door. Coin opens the door wider, lips pressed together.

“Where would I find him?” You ask.

“The basement. He was working in the weapons shop.”

She then kicks your foot out of the way, pulling the door shut. You roll your eyes at her behavior, she hasn’t been the kindest person to you since you arrived. You think Plutarch’s convinced her it’s your fault Beetee’s dead. One day you’ll give him a piece of your mind, but today won’t be it.

You leave the hallway, finding the elevator again. It’s old, which means it moves slowly. It takes almost fifteen minutes for it to go all the way down to the basement, because of the other people getting on and off. 

By the time you get there, Plutarch’s locking the doors. “Have you seen Finnick?”

He looks over his shoulder to see it’s you, and then goes back to fixing the lock. “I haven’t. I’ve been on a call with a scientist for the past hour working on weapon plans because we don’t have any experts here.”

You suck in a breath, reminding yourself not to react. “Do you have any idea who might’ve seen him? It’s important.”

“Did you try Haymitch?” He suggests lamely.

“Where would he be?” 

“The rehabilitation center. Where else?” He shakes his head.

You don’t say anything back to him, because all responses would be rude. You leave him there, heading back to the elevator. By the time you get it programmed for the rehab center, Plutarch is in sight. He holds out his hand to tell you to stop, but you press the button while looking away, pretending as if you didn’t see him. 

Maybe he should be nicer to you.

The rehab center is closer, and their curfew is stricter. If Finnick is here, then he’s only in the visiting area. It’s a shame that Haymitch is still required to stay here instead of a pod, but he really pissed off Coin. He was joking about smuggling alcohol from Greasy Sae, and she was having none of it.

When the elevator stops, you program it to go up a few floors before being allowed to go back down. Anything you can do to inconvenience Plutarch. When you get inside of the center, they have you sign a sheet, and then they put you in the waiting room while they call out the person. As soon as they have you sit down, you know Finnick isn’t here, either, because they would’ve just directed you to the visiting area.

Haymitch comes out, as messy looking as ever, with a beanie pulled to his eyebrows. “Hey, kid. Curfew’s soon.”

“I know. Hey, has Finnick been here?”

He shakes his head. “Peeta’s a good guess. Finnick’s been trying to do exposure therapy.”

“At the hospital?” You ask. “I would’ve seen him.”

Haymitch blows air out from his cheeks. “Katniss?”

“That’s a better idea.” You nod, “I should’ve tried her first instead of Coin. I’m sorry I can’t stay, the hospital’s curfew is in an hour.”

Haymitch waves his hand. “Good luck.”

You wave, leaving out the waiting room door. The lady at the office bids you a goodnight, and then promptly shuts off the office lights. There’s a click that fills the air from the locking system, making you let out a quiet laugh. What a passive-aggressive way to tell you that you were overstaying your welcome. 

On the elevator again, you take it up to where Katniss’s pod should be with her family. Just her, her mom, Primrose and their cat. When you get there, you knock on the door. It’s only a second before Katniss’s mother opens it with a warm smile. 

“Oh, hello (Y/n).”

“Hi.” You smile, “Is Katniss here?”

“No, I believe she’s down in the cafeteria with Gale and Finnick.” 

You hum, eyebrows drawing together. “Thank you.” You begin to back away. “Have a good night.”

“Is there a message you’d like to leave?”

“No, I’m actually looking for Finnick.” You shrug. 

She nods. “Have a good night.”

The door shuts, you turn around and get back to the elevator, where you’re forced to wait twenty minutes. The clock on the wall isn’t helping the rising anxiety in your stomach, you’ve only got enough time to check the cafeteria before you have to get back to the hospital. He better be down there. 

You guess you could try again tomorrow, but you want to have a conversation tonight. The longer you wait, the more it settles into his head. What if he spends the entire day dodging you?

The elevator arrives full of residents trying to get back home. You step on, and being the only one inside, you’re able to head straight down without any disruptions. It’s a quick trip down, but you have to go down the hallway to even get to the cafeteria. 

You push the swinging door open with your hip. The room is illuminated by the few tv’s on the pillars, they’re stuck on the Capitol logo. In the daytime, Thirteen usually will let the Capitol broadcasts play. The people here see them as a comedy.

Sure enough, Katniss and Gale are inside, and they turn at the sound of the door. There is no Finnick in sight, but that doesn’t mean he’s not nearby. 

“Hey, (Y/n).” Katniss adjusts her body to turn halfway so she doesn’t have to crane her neck. “Looking for Finnick?”

“Yes, actually.” You nod. “Have you seen him recently?”

“He just left and took the stairs up to the hospital to talk to Johanna before the curfew set.” 

Your face twists. “Johanna?”

“If you take the elevator, you might be able to catch him.” She says.

“Right.” You agree, “Sorry for interrupting.”

Gale opens his mouth, Katniss speaks first. “It wasn’t even important. We’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Bye.” You wave, leaving the doorway.

You jog back down the hall to get to the elevator quicker. As soon as you press the button, the doors peel apart, allowing you to get inside. You’re briefly hopeful this trip won’t take longer than a minute, except you run into the same problem as earlier, with people stepping on with every passing floor.

By the time you get to the hospital, it’s past curfew. Finnick always leaves on time.

A wild goose chase for nothing. It’s like Finnick knew you were coming, so he avoided you at all costs. You don’t want to go back to how things used to be between you two. It was painful, knowing there was nothing you could do to fix it. You just had to let it go, like you will now. Except, you’re stuck in this stupid bunker with him, meaning you’ll never get away. 

Tears appear in your eyes. You suck in a breath, holding it, tilting your head back to force the tears back to where they came. It doesn’t work, they slide down the sides of your eyes, traveling down your cheeks.

You let out the breath, and take in a shaky one. It isn’t long before the crying starts. You have to stop in the hallway before you enter the hospital wing, because if they see you upset, they’re going to put you on medical lockdown. This thought alone increases the hysteria.

You slide down the concrete wall, burying your face in your hands while you cry. Ten years you’ve waited just to be his friend, and he’s going to take it all away on the thought he’s not a good person? When it’s clearly not true? He’s sacrificed just as much as you have to get here.

You’ve told him this. Why won’t he listen?

“(Y/n)?” You whip your head up to see Finnick, a frown on his face. “Oh, honey.”

“You—” The word is strangled as another sob overcomes you at the sight of him, finally.

Finnick rushes over, coming to a crouch in front of you. You jerk forward, throwing your arms around him for a hug, squeezing him tightly. Finnick pulls you closer, placing a hand on the back of your head to keep your face in his chest.

“I’m so sorry.” He murmurs, shushing you gently. “It’s okay.”

“It’s not!” You protest through your tears. “You want to leave me!”

He doesn’t say anything, his grip only tightens.

“Finnick, I don’t care. I don’t care that you were mean to me in the past, because it didn’t bother me. I wouldn’t be talking to you if I didn’t want to be with you. How could you have known better if no one told you? It’s not your fault.”

“I should’ve seen the signs. If I had gotten to know you better, maybe I would’ve realized. I was so mean to you.”

“We were mean to each other.” You tell him, playing with his hair. “We did good things on our own time. You’re a good person, Finnick. You’re not bad for what’s happened between us in the past.”

You push him away from you to see his face, finding tears in his own eyes. You cup each side of his face, pulling him to your lips. Finnick’s hand slides its way to the back of your neck, holding you against him for a few seconds longer.

When you pull back, you wipe a tear from beneath his eye. “Let’s just focus on us right now, okay?”

“Okay.”

[nebulablakemurphy]

Moves & Countermoves (Part 21)

Summary: No one ever wins the games, even fourteen years later, Y/N is still playing.

Prologue | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20

They try something new, in the form of Prim visiting Peeta with Y/N. Katniss and Haymitch watching from the viewing window. Things are going well…until they’re not. The news of Peeta’s family sends him spiraling. Yelling and cursing Katniss, saying it’s her fault that Snow bombed twelve. That she’s a threat. Telling Prim to kill her.

“Peeta, what you’re saying isn’t real.” Prim says, in a whisper. Withdrawing from the edge of his bed.

“She’s a monster, Prim!” Peeta insists, the angry vein pulsing in his neck.

“Peeta,” Y/N calls his attention back to her. “You’re safe. No one is going to hurt you, I’m here.”

“She’ll kill you too. She’ll kill all of us. She’s a mutt, the Capitol created to destroy us!”

Nothing settles him after that. The doctor has to use a tranquilizer for the first time in days.

Y/N excuses herself to the opposite side of the viewing glass. Catching Katniss’ gaze, holding it as she moves closer. “It’s good to see you up and about. How are you feeling?”

Katniss says nothing, catapulting herself into her mentor’s arms.

“I’m here,” Y/N assures her. “I’ll be here.”

————————————————————————

Haymitch escorts Katniss’ to the Nut in District Two. Y/N hangs back in Thirteen, with the kids and Peeta. Cashmere is sent to stand in for her best friend, which Katniss seems to appreciate, allowing her to weigh in on dialogue for the propo to sway the loyalists.

“Plutarch wrote a speech for you.” Haymitch tells Katniss, as they get into place near the tunnel left for civilians to escape, after the bombs were launched to bury the Nut and all the weapons inside.

The suggestion was Gale’s.

“Killing isn’t personal, Katniss. I figured you of all people would understand that.”

That’s what he told her the night before. Only she doesn’t agree, “killing is always personal.”

Cashmere takes the paper from his hands, reading it thoroughly. “She’s not saying this, they’ll tear her apart.”

“I never said it was a good speech,” Haymitch fires back. “Look, Katniss, you have to remember that you’re talking to everyone. Not just the people in the districts, but the Capitol, survivors from Two. You want them to lay their weapons down, so you might want to experiment with a little sensitivity.”

Katniss nods, though it isn’t her strong suit. “This is Katniss Everdeen, speaking to all the loyalists, from the heart of District Two-”

She is cut short by the train behind her, screeching to a halt.

Boggs wants to get her back, away from the tracks and the people who will soon emerge. But Katniss will hear none of it, especially after shots are fired. Ending up with a bullet in her own gear and unconscious all the way back to Thirteen.

Y/N finds them upon return. “What happened?” She asks Haymitch.

“Bruised ribs, bruised lung.” Haymitch runs a hand over his face. “It’s my fault. Shouldn’t have let her go.”

“Haymitch, you know there’s no way we could’ve stopped her.” Y/N sighs.

“No, but she’s more likely to listen to you than me.”

“I don’t think that’s true.” Y/N swallows.

“How are things? How are the kids?”

“They’re good, they missed you though.” I missed you.

“And Peeta?”

“They showed him the propo, he has real memories of Katniss.” The one’s the Capitol couldn’t taint because they didn’t own them. “He wants to see her.”

“You think that’s a good idea?” Haymitch wonders, feeling his wife reach for his hand.

“I know he’s in there. We can’t give up, there has to be a way.”

“No one’s giving up,” Haymitch assures her. “When Katniss is cleared to leave medical, we’ll ask her to see him. Tell her that he wants to see her. I think that’s progress in itself.”

“Yeah,” Y/N nods.

“Come ‘ere.” Haymitch pulls her against his chest, pressing his lips to the crown of her head. “We didn’t come this far, just to come this far.”

Again she nods, fisting the fabric of his uniform in her hands. Somehow he makes it hurt less.

No one could carry this burden alone, instead they learned to shoulder it together. To trade off when the other was weak, they learned to be two halves of a whole. Trying to pull away from that now seems impossible; excruciating at the very least.

Only when she is there, resting safely against his beating heart, Haymitch can breathe again. “I love you, Y/N.” More than you will ever know.

“I love you too.”

————————————————————————

Days pass, Finnick and Annie get married. It’s beautiful, everything they deserve. They’re glowing; so in love.

Daisy squeals her distaste during the ceremony, until Y/N manages to quiet her with milk.

“I hear ya, kid.” Johanna adds, under her breath.

At the reception everyone dances. Not Johanna. She doesn’t understand how these people can prance around while the world is going to shit. Brooding until little hands pull her to the dance floor. Everest and Arista Abernathy always do get the best of her. Just like everyone else, she was begrudgingly wrapped around their fingers from the day they met..

“Let me go.” Johanna finally demands, with a smile.

Cashmere is their next victim, any and all bystanders are fair game.

Katniss narrowly escapes; finding Johanna among the crowd.

“You saw Peeta, didn’t you?” The victor of District Seven asks. “Did you tell him hi for me? We’re old friends, you know. We had adjoining cells in the Capitol, we’re very familiar with each other’s screams.”

“I’m going to kill Snow.” Katniss says; her tone is cool, calculated. Watching Prim take Daisy from Y/N, so she too can join the crowd. She knows that if she dies, to end all of this, it will be worth it. Prim will have her mother and her former mentors to get her through. She would be taken care of. “Nothing good is safe while he’s alive, and I can’t make another speech about it. No more cameras, no more propos, no more games. He needs to see my eyes when I kill him.”

Johanna’s scowl tips up into a grin, “now you’re talking.”

“I need to find a way to the Capitol while everyone is looking the other way.”

“I hear the medics talking, they’re shipping supplies to the front lines from hanger two, around midnight tonight. Medicine, painkillers, I was gonna go steal some for myself, but I guess I could just stay here and cover for you.” Johanna turns to looks at her dead in the eyes. “Anyone can kill anyone, Katniss. Even a president. You just have to be willing to sacrifice yourself.”

————————————————————————

When Katniss disappears that night and crops up later with troops in the Capitol, Haymitch wishes he could say he’s surprised. But Katniss is who she is and he expects nothing less.

Coin can’t bring her back now. Instead she shoots for plan B, deploying the ‘star squad’ to join her. “It’ll be perfectly safe, you’ll be days behind the main troops. This is just to rally continued support and to document our journey to victory, spearheaded by familiar faces. I’d greatly appreciate if one or both of you could be there. Peeta is being deployed soon as well.”

“Peeta?” Y/N stammers, “Peeta can’t be anywhere near Katniss, let alone a war zone. There are too many triggers.”

“Dr. Aurelius has assured me that you’ve made leaps and bounds together, aiding in Peeta’s recovery. I’m sure that he would benefit from having you there.” President Coin gives Y/N a pointed look.

“I need to discuss this with Haymitch, in private.” Y/N insists, before her husband has a chance to wring the other woman’s necklace.

“Of course.” Alma nods, “I hate to spring this on you, but we are pressed for time. I’ll need your answer by tonight.”

Part 22

Series Taglist: @praline357 @flowercrowns-goodvibes @justheretoparty420 @avocadotoastwithegg @treehouse-mouse @emo-markie @spilled-mi1k @magical-spit @greaser9902 @jessicamellarky @yourebuckingkiddingme @smuha2004 @sendhelplease @ninimackbrews @wittiestrain184 @r1dd1kulus @erenluvr69 @helpimhyperfixating @jackierose902109 @jellybear455 @dreammgc @dadbodfanatic-x @ftdtcmlovr @inky-sun @ms-brek-ker @undercover55655 @mischiefmanaged21 @avoxrising @koiphisch @drwho-ess @daisydaisybilly @misfits1a @nj01 @eruannaaa-blog

[orchidbreezefc]

i wanna talk about haymitch abernathy.

well, first i wanna talk about the treatment of chemical addiction in the hunger games trilogy. because it's good. a lot of characters, including katniss, struggle with it. it gets explored in considerable depth, and not once is any character looked down on for it (well, aside from some eye-rolling with haymitch and perhaps pity for the 'morphlings' in book 2).

no one is infantilized, dehumanized, or considered weak for their dependency, even when they're incoherent from inebriation or withrawal. addicts are treated with dignity,  and there is only ever respect, understanding, and sympathy for their struggle and for the trauma that led them to this position. the story has no interest in scrutinizing how they got there or whether their behavior is sufficiently justified, only in meeting them where they are.

everyone has suffered at the hands of the capitol, and some people have resorted to substances to cope--even and especially smart, competent people. it's unfortunate and painful for them (and the focus is always on the addict's suffering, not anyone else's) but it's always understood as doing what they had to do. survival is a crucial theme in these books, and this is just another form of it.

this understanding extends to the point that katniss and peeta independently hoard liquor in case haymitch runs out. he's fucking annoying and rude and at that point they have no reason to believe they stand to gain anything from helping him, but they do it anyway because abandoning him would be cruel. it's not ever a question of enabling an alcoholic, it's a question of not letting a man fucking die of withdrawal.

see, rough around the edges is an insufficient description for haymitch; he's rough all the way to the middle. he is a messy, sloppy drunk. he is rude, obnoxious, and venomously cynical. he is also the smartest character in a series full of extremely smart characters.

in the first book all that is said about haymitch's victory is speculation from katniss and peeta. they note that he isnt a standout physical talent and doesnt have any specialized abilities, and deduce that he must have won by outsmarting the others. this is innocuous enough and supported by the shrewdness of haymitch's sponsor gifts and his coaching outside the games.

the recontextualization comes in book 2 when we learn haymitch was the victor of the 50th hunger games, the last quarter quell--which had twice as many tributes as usual. haymitch didn't outsmart 23 other people, up to a third of them having trained for this exact purpose until age 17. haymitch outsmarted 47.

haymitch abernathy? is a big fucking deal. that man waltzed in from The underdog district, unmentored and presumably earning approximately zero sponsor gifts with his winning personality, and won the hardest hunger games there has ever been. haymitch is the most impressive bitch in panem. between this and our increasing insight into how the victors are treated, the alcoholism gets recontextualized too.

imagine how frothingly fucking pissed the capitol is that haymitch is impossible to leverage for any PR purpose whatsoever. like, this is The victor, but what are they gonna do? show off the victor of the hardest hunger games of all time and he's fucking haymitch?

he shows up to every public appearance fall-down drunk and pukes on someone's shoes. every time he's on screen he embarrasses everyone. he makes the hunger games look like a joke and undermines the whole premise. he's supposed to be the capitol's biggest asset and he's pissed all over it. he's useless to them. the best thing they can do is leave him alone.

that's when you think, wait. that's kind of a rebellion in itself, huh? he defies the capitol's efforts to use him as 'a piece in their game' better than anyone else outside district 13, maybe them too, when he should be their favored pawn. he's about as free of their influence as anyone can be. that seems... smart. haymitch-typical smart.

haymitch's alcoholism is real and no doubt a legitimate result of his trauma, but it's also a weapon. he probably plays it up. gets extra trashed for every public appearance, the earlier in the day the better. asks himself what he could do that would horrify effie trinket the most and then does that.

at the same time, haymitch seems to get it together more as the series goes on. from the sound of it he was content to drink himself to death and blow off every tribute in his district before katniss and peeta came along and he recognized in them the potential for revolutionaries and, more importantly, the potential for victors. for the first time he had a real chance to achieve a goal, and the real necessity to be sharp for it.

my guess is that haymitch started making actual efforts to manage his alcoholism from then on. getting sober is pretty much impossible to do on your own, and indeed he has a relapse for every time he improves. but haymitch would have known he'd need any scrap of competence he could snatch. and i think, away from our heroine's perspective, he did. you can play drunk for a camera; you can't play sober for a planning session.

the one thing that really helps with addiction is a support network, and that's the one thing haymitch can never have. it is made blisteringly clear that your loved ones are so much ammunition for the capitol to use against you, and they desperately need some for haymitch. he says his loved ones are all dead, but one wonders if there were more that he made damn sure were no longer loved ones before that happened. maybe haymitch saved some lives by driving people as far away as he could, and doomed himself to succumb to the alcoholism in the process.

on a sillier note, i imagine during katniss and peeta's games haymitch would have needed someone to manage his intake and keep him sober enough to strategize the sponsorships without sending him into withdrawal. and i like to think it was effie trinket.

she'd disapprove at first but dosages and scheduling would be her JAM. plus haymitch would always cave in to her sanctimonious lectures before she caved in to his demands for more. it would be really motivating, actually--"i can endure this. anything's better than hearing one more fucking word from effie goddamn trinket about my health." truly the dream team.

tl;dr i fucking love haymitch abernathy. he's one of the characters of all time. thank you, suzanne collins, for this smart, competent, callous, mean, complex alcoholic who is vital to the revolution. thank you for writing addicts and addiction with the depth, seriousness, complexity, and respect they deserve as human beings.

[thegreenthepeacetheorange]

Everlark (Mockingjay, Ch. 25-27)

peeta also being in the burn unit bc he was in the city circle

what i personally believe is that he's the one who tried to put out the fire that overwhelmed katniss, hence his own burnt hands and forehead

her using peeta's coping mechanism of pain to stay grounded in reality

when katniss talks about all the people she trusts being said, she highlights that there is peeta but he wouldn't know any more than her about 13's plans.

"we are both fire mutts now" - still a (broken) team

"those same blues" mentioned again

haymitch understanding katniss. the dad that stepped up. i love that he says "i'm with the mockingjay" instead of "yes"

katniss being our fave feral girl by literally biting into peeta's hand as he stops her from taking her nightlock

the fact that when she says "let me go", our baker boy with the beautiful words and the charm can only say "i can't"

just another instance where these can't let each other go. has anyone made a counter for these instances?

peeta is well and truly back. to do that. to know he can't let her go. that even when she bites him so hard he bleeds, he just looks into her eyes and lets her know he can't let her die

the fact that after the way katniss was used in the games and then in the rebellion, afterwards when she's damaged and broken and bruised and they have no more use for her, she's just sent off to 12

"there's no obstacle now to taking my life. but i seem to be waiting for something" - the same way peeta kept his hand open with the nightlock pill waiting for katniss to curl over his hand for him, katniss waits for peeta's permission to die

i love that she doesn't even mention peeta by name when she sees he's returned. we just know instinctively that he's the "him" that's back.

peeta says dr aurelius wouldn't let him leave the capitol til the day before which makes me think peeta had really been trying to be discharged to get back to katniss.

"his eyes have lost that clouded, tortured look"

katniss who understandably has fallen into physical disrepair over the last two chapters now feels "defensive" as peeta looks at her, frowning, and tries to push her hair out of her eyes somewhat. her relationship is SO different to the one she has with everyone else. and that's because it's really the only one where she's concerned with romance and her looks etc

peeta digging up and bringing her primrose. the boy with the bread is still here bringing gifts that can't have a price put on them. he is the sweetest most beautiful fictional boy

katniss is relieved that gale is in 2, far away. that era of her life is over, that friendship is over.

although she's still confusing right to end. why are you thinking about gale's lips kissing other lips. i think it's just like her finding closure but still.

katniss falling asleep on the sofa but waking up in her bed. we can guess who got her there

it's only after peeta comes back that katniss starts to hunt, find closure, grieve with others.

peeta bringing her a warm loaf of bread again.

them taking the family plant book and creating a new book to honour and remember the dead. her, peeta and haymitch creating their own makeshift family book. so tragic so beautiful

"peeta and i grow back together" - like it was inevitable.

But his arms are there to comfort me. And eventually his lips. On the night I feel that thing again, the hunger that overtook me on the beach, I know this would have happened anyway. That what I need to survive is not Gale's fire, kindled with rage and hatred. I have plenty of fire myself. What I need is the dandelion in the spring. The bright yellow that means rebirth instead of destruction. The promise that life can go on, no matter how bad our losses. That it can be good again. And only Peeta can give me that. So after, when he whispers, “You love me. Real or not real?” I tell him, “Real.”

i love how simple and matter of fact this whole passage is. she doesn't need to go into flowery descriptions or explanations. she's already done that for three books.

i just love this whole passage so much. so much hope. so much love. after all that's happened, katniss learns to live again, to hope again, to love again, to see goodness again. and peeta is a key to her achieving that. and it's so beautiful

as an adult, i now know that this scene is alluding to their first time having sex. the mentions of his arms that build to his lips that build to her hunger from the beach that night. "so after" is after that night, that moment in their relationship where things become elevated in a new way.

him whispering that is not him asking her to declare it or say it. he's asking her to confirm what he feels, has felt. that she loves him. and she knows now her answer forever. real.

[katnissdoesnotfollowback]

Do you think Peeta strangling Katniss affects their relationship in the growing back together phase? Most seem to think it would be Peeta getting reassurance and comfort from Katniss but I find that a little wrong since it was her getting strangled and with the neck covered in bruises

Why does it have to be either one or the other needing/getting reassurance and/or healing from the strangling?

By the end of Mockingjay, both Katniss and Peeta are dealing with complex ptsd, which means both of them have an assortment, a complicated mess of traumas they have to sort through during the grow back together phase. That’s why it’s essential that both of them work with Dr Aurelius. So I absolutely believe that it does impact their relationship, at least a little. But there’s A LOT that is going to affect their relationship during the grow back together phase. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, it’s just a fact of living with ptsd.

I agree with your hypothetical “most” that Peeta would absolutely feel guilt and responsibility over his trying to strangle Katniss. He put his hands on her and physically hurt her, left her marked and unable to speak for a significant amount of time. She needed to be hospitalized for her injuries. As a person with childhood abuse in his past, who we can readily assume wanted to break that cycle of violence, Peeta would be devastated to learn that he did that to Katniss. Just like he was devastated seeing himself throw Mitchell into the barbed net in the Capitol. Hijacked or not, he’s going to have to come to terms with the fact that he did it. He’s going to need reassurance from Katniss over it, and would have to learn to forgive himself as part of their growing back together phase.

As for Katniss… what I’ve seen argued is that she was more concerned with the verbal hurts Peeta inflicted upon her when he was recovering from the hijacking than she was with the physical ones… which I can see the case for this textually. She doesn’t fixate on the strangling itself but on the words he speaks and how she thinks he sees her, the “real” her in her self-loathing, after his hijacking. She almost acts like she deserved that violence against her body.

But here’s the thing. If we can assume that Peeta never wants to repeat the abuse his mother heaped on him by abusing those he loves… he’s going to feel like shit for the things he said to her in his pseudo hijacked phase as well. Peeta internalizes the things his mother said about him. She calls him a “stupid, worthless creature” in Katniss’s memory of the bread flashback. And in Catching Fire, Peeta lashes out at Katniss and Haymitch for keeping secrets from him by saying “Like I’m too stupid or inconsequential” to understand or deserve the truth…

Inconsequential is another way of saying worthless, my friend. He repeats what we know his mother has said about him. Because on some level, he believes that it’s true… symptom of trauma and abuse, my friend.

So of course, even if Katniss fixates only on the cruel things that hijacked Peeta says to her rather than the physical act of strangling her, there are still going to be a host of issues they have to deal with, and eventually, they’re going to have to deal with the strangulation aspect as well.

And Peeta’s no stranger to lashing out physically either. In addition to verbally lashing out, Peeta also physically breaks a lamp in that CF scene. Some people will argue that it’s a stretch, but it is still an indicator of his anger on occasion manifesting as physical ACTION. Lest we forget, he somehow kills Brutus in the Quell, and Brutus is billed as one of the stronger, more ruthless Victor Tributes in that arena. Oh and by the way, Beetee had Peeta’s knife at the lightning tree. So what in the fuck was Peeta armed with when he killed Brutus? His bare hands?!?!

Now, Katniss might not actively fixate on those things during Mockingjay, but I find it highly likely that she would flinch or visibly react to the possibility of physical violence when post MJ Peeta gets angry or distraught… because she knows what he’s capable of and knows that he’s lashed out physically before. And that is absolutely going to affect them both.

Do I think Peeta is abusive towards Katniss? No. Absolutely not. I don’t think that at all. But lemme give you a real life example.

I’m married to someone with ptsd. Some of that is a result of having physical violence inflicted on him personally. Some of it is just from witnessing violence and its results in real life. Some of it is from existing for long periods of time in a place where he was constantly in danger of dying. I have never physically hurt him. But one time, shortly after he came home, I playfully smacked his arm (not even all that hard, Anon) while we were hanging a picture on the wall, we were laughing and teasing each other… and he legit froze, completely tense, and whispered “Don’t… don’t do that again.” I had triggered a flashback.

So there is no doubt in my mind that at some point, Everlark has to deal with Peeta triggering a flashback in Katniss to the moment he tried to strangle her.

Conclusion: It’s both of them that will have to deal with it, will need to heal and need reassurance. I just think that it is going to take a lot of work for both of them to process, deal with, and overcome the verbal and physical violence in their pasts. I think really, the discussion you’re probably seeing right now is simply an acknowledgment that Peeta, as loving and soft as he can be, is also fully capable of violence, and he knows it, and he’s going to have to deal with it. He’s no cream puff. He’s got fire in him and is fully capable of biting back. But acknowledging what he has to deal with in terms of him almost strangling Katniss isn’t necessarily a dismissal of what Katniss will have to deal with alongside him. She’ll just be dealing with it from a different aspect and probably at a different pace.

❤️ kdnfb

[gutfaced]

re; ableism in the hunger games, infantilism of the traumatized/shunning of the traumatized.

okay so i woke up & my awesome mutual @ongreenergrasses made a post about this too (i JUST saw it and like oooh my god. i agree so hard and so much) and i'm just going to talk about what i've been thinking.

the hunger games is doused in some really nasty thinking when it comes to mental health, and then even more so when it comes to disabilities, addiction and PTSD. i'm going to break down this post in parts based on each character who represents this, and any misc. ones will simply be the issue at hand alone. i find that suzanne writes a certain stereotypical sort of rhetoric that goes unchecked by this fandom because the majority are not those who have experienced these things, but the ones who *have* should at least bring this to more attention if possible. katniss to me, is one of the most ableist characters (not of her own knowing) as the good and mighty protagonist, and seeing people headcanon her as autistic is very interesting when her takes on people with any sort of difference in mental states is.. it comes into question constantly.

𝐀𝐍𝐍𝐈𝐄

annie is very truthfully, a character who is only based on being the ‘poor mad girl who wins finnick's heart’ and yes, a victor with more severe PTSD which has come to affect her daily life, or at least when it comes to the games. suzanne collins’ constant use of the term ‘mad girl’ comes from katniss as protagonist, which reads as so ableist. watering anyone to their inpairments or their level of health is dehumanizing, and it reads to me like she regards annie as a sort of special case, like a wounded animal almost. the only positive talk about annie as a character minus her wedding, minus her relationship with finnick is when peeta explains annie's experiences in the games, which comes with empathy and understanding that most,,, are overbearing with. i see so many people water her down to just, being finnick's, and only being whatever level of trauma has enabled her consistent struggles. this i won't put a label on because i don't know what collin's was trying to achieve.

i even believe that finnick as her lover commits a level of ableist thinking in their relationship. he withholds information of the rebellion from her (despite her being extremely smart and just as career as anyone else from four,) and despite that not changing anything because she's still tortured, still abused in some way, he has a level of extreme overprotectiveness that reads as infantilism of his partner, and it seems to me like everyone considers finnick as annie's carer, and doesn't consider annie as his partner. yes his *lover,* but not someone on equal ground as far as their mental health issues go. the way annie is seen on both coins of fandom and book are incredibly ignorant and very, very harmful to disabled people. just because someone has a debilitating issue does not mean you get to treat them like they're a child, does not mean you go onto label them from that single trait. like i said, the phrase ‘the mad girl back home’ is so, so degrading to annie, who is a survivor and has overcome her experiences with respective scars. respect her humanity, because it's sub human thinking to call someone mad based on PTSD. leave that in the 1910s/20s.

𝐌𝐑𝐒. 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐃𝐄𝐄𝐍 & 𝐇𝐀𝐘𝐌𝐈𝐓𝐂𝐇

(note that the haymitch part will be longer than the rest because i have enough content to go off of & this is my specialty)

mrs. everdeen and haymitch as characters both experience deprecating grief, to the extent where their mental health is tarnished from that. mrs. e becomes withdrawn and stiff from family; only able to function for the sake of work. her love, her husband dies and it emotionally disables her and severs a proper relationship to her two daughters. her mental health being dependant on the man/the loss of him and the fact that she discards her family is not only somewhat realistic for *some* cases, but also equally spitting out ideas of tradition and how "women need a man," with hazelle contrasting this and having to work for her 4 children to the point of blood. katniss’ perception of her mother's issue do come from hurt, but also internalised prejudice against those with mental health as she can see the extent of agony her mother is in and still loathes her, never leaving the door open for empathy.

the treatment of haymitch in both book and fandom is equally prejudiced and incredibly uneducated on addiction, and again — grief. haymitch self-medicates because his trauma, the extent of it is so mutilating to the point where he has to be flushing out memories on a constant basis. the fandom calls him a stupid drink, looks down on his intelligence. the books make him look volatile, squalored. the way in which suzanne collins describes his kitchen (which is filthy with old food, hazards, bottles and mice droppings) is VERY true of several people with severe mental health. katniss makes fun of him while he's in a state of approaching withdrawal, saying that the smell brings tears to her eyes, and at the end of the conversation ‘to take a bath.’ people with depression (which is what mrs. e and haymitch both have in different cases) find it difficult to do everyday chores and simple tasks, and katniss also repeats the idea of haymitch being unhygienic when she says ‘he's disgusting, but I'm greatful’ alongside commenting that it must've been a long while since he had bathed. haymitch is the richest man in the district, but not even that can stop the blatant hatred that katniss parrots. haymitch is to me, ill, and it reflects in his attitude during the games and when he's in withdrawal. suzanne hones in his mental state the most, and what he is a functioning alcoholic, and while that differs from regular alcoholism, people are consistent to demean his character with misconceptions and text books beliefs of what an alcoholic looks like. there are *many* takes, many examples of these sorts of people in society, but the constant abusive, violent, hateful, squalid, hedonistic ideas are parroted in fics when it comes to haymitch when he isn't.. any of those things. the society around him cares to consider the extent of his suffering and he doesn't have a good enough support system, as all whom he has loved are dead. i finish this by saying what i always do; he's extremely intelligent, extremely empathetic and wholly feeling, extremely caring and protective, and is meant to *defy* stereotypes. his ending however diminishes his ability to get better, and practically undoes any hope of his betterment despite it all.

𝐌𝐑𝐒. 𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐄𝐄

mrs. undersee is mentioned a few times through the trilogy, and when it isn't related to her late twin maysilee donner, or her daughter madge, it's her chronic illness. katniss basically only mentions her when referring to her constant headaches and her morphling addiction, which makes me wonder why suzanne collins doesn't go into depth about how she's taken care of, who she's getting support from as the wife of the district mayor, and how she functions as a mother. she is basically made useless to the narrative despite her important role as a mayoral first lady & family member to someone who experienced and was slaughtered in the arena. i see next to no content on her which upsets me as she does play such a big role in the scheme of things, and has connections to the everdeens, to haymitch and to the donner family. she's got next to nothing on her wikipedia, and it's unfortunate as she could've been a good example of chronic ilness in an already revered YA series (which now comes under scrutiny for the faults being uprooted.)

[wistfulweaverwoman]

Could you share your thoughts on Madge?

The screenwriters/director apparently felt she was irrelevant, but she must have a deeper meaning to the series, right?

Oh wow, thank you for the question!!!

So yes, Madge's character sure does have a deeper meaning!

On the most surface level of the story Madge acts, in part, as a characterization for Katniss. As we all know, Katniss is a pretty unreliable narrator. She seems to be under the impression that she's just like Gale but here's a prime example of why she's not. Madge is Katniss's only friend, other than Gale. And she's not just a merchant kid, she's the daughter of the mayor. While Gale has a narrow viewpoint and see things much more in black and white(she claims he understands the socioeconomic differences are just the Capitols way to divide 12, but he has a really tough time extending empathy to people he doesn’t relate to, unlike Katniss who is incredibly empathetic when she takes time to put herself in the shoes of others), Katniss actually has a more nuanced understanding about the Seam/Merchant dynamic which later extends to deeper understanding to the other tributes and even Capitol citizens all really just being victims to their circumstances. With the director ditching (mostly, Gale still has a few choice words about merchants) the whole Seam/Merchant narrative her role is vastly diminished.

The pin that Madge gives to Katniss as a district token (and later the symbol of rebellion) is so much more important in the books because of who it used to belong to, Maysilee Donner, who was Madge's aunt (her mom's twin), Katniss's mothers best friend, and partnered with Haymitch in his games. It's most likely Haymitch's own experience in surviving the arena with Maysilee as a team that gives him the idea to partner Peeta and Katniss. Without Madge most of these connections are lost.

In the metanarrative Madge represents a lot more. She, through the symbolism of her name, offers salvation through sacrifice. She gives Katniss the pin:

"His eyes land on a small, circular pin that adorns her dress. Real gold. Beautifully crafted. It could keep a family in bread for months."

And then she basically risks her life to bring pain medicine for Gale, who hasn't been particularly nice to her:

When she opens it, there’s not a squad of Peacekeepers but a single, snow-caked figure. Madge. She holds out a small, damp cardboard box to me. “Use these for your friend,” she says. I take off the lid of the box, revealing half a dozen vials of clear liquid. “They’re my mother’s. She said I could take them. Use them, please.” She runs back into the storm before we can stop her.

Madge (and Mags) is short for Margaret, which is derived from the Greek word for Pearl (pearl is derived from the Sanskrit word for Pure). Peeta and Katniss are Pearls as well, so I'll expand on the pearl theme beyond just Madge.

Pearls themselves are created through sacrifice, traditionally the life of the oyster is forfeit for the gem. In some asian cultures the pearl represented the journey of the soul or spirit along the path to perfection (The Hunger Games trilogy is a retelling of Dante's Comedies- which represents the souls journey towards Paradise- the pearl symbolically represents Katniss’s inner arc). In ancient burials, mourners placed pearls in the mouths of the deceased. Since pearls apparently contained the principles of life, they hoped they could assist the dead on their journeys beyond. Mourners also decorated burial gifts and clothes with pearls.

Pearls are mentioned a LOT in the books. Here's a few quotes:

‘Well, if you put enough pressure on coal it turns to pearls!’” Effie beams at us so brilliantly that we have no choice but to respond enthusiastically to her cleverness even though it’s wrong.

He unzips the bag, revealing one of the wedding dresses I wore for the photo shoot. Heavy white silk with a low neckline and tight waist and sleeves that fall from my wrists to the floor. And pearls. Everywhere pearls. Stitched into the dress and in ropes at my throat and forming the crown for the veil.

As coal pressured into pearls by our weighty existence. Beauty that arose out of pain. Peeta rinses the pearl off in the water and hands it to me. “For you.” I hold it out on my palm and examine its iridescent surface in the sunlight.

I sit back on my bed cross-legged and find myself rubbing the smooth iridescent surface of the pearl back and forth against my lips. For some reason, it’s soothing. A cool kiss from the giver himself.

Katniss putting the pearl to her lips as both the mourner and the dead. We can actually infer that the pearl is a placeholder for Peeta.

But what exactly does the pearl represent beyond the obvious? There's the biblical symbolism and then there's literary symbolism.

There's a ton of Christian symbolism in these books, probably the most obvious being the Christ-like sacrifices that Peeta makes, he sacrifices his body to provide the life saving bread, and again in the arena which after spends three days in a cave, followed by his resurrection. The trilogy follows the Divine Comedies, Katniss as the heart and caught between Gale (the body) and Peeta (the spirit).

You shall bring from your dwelling places two loaves of bread to be waved, made of two tenths of an ephah. They shall be of fine flour, and they shall be baked with leaven, as firstfruits to the Lord.

Above from the Bible, below from The Hunger Games

It was the boy. In his arms, he carried two large loaves of bread that must have fallen into the fire because the crusts were scorched black.

Below is a quote from the Bible (Revelations) describing the 12 gates of Jerusalem. It could be written off as a coincidence, 12 gates, 12 districts, except that the 8th gate is the Cotton Merchants' Gate, which correlates to District 8, which is the district that manufactures textiles and uniforms.

And the twelve gates of the city were twelve pearls; each single gate was made from one pearl. And the street of the city was pure gold, like transparent glass. 

In literary symbolism Pearl, (the daughter of Hester Prynne in the Scarlet Letter), represents several things. Pearl was the physical manifestation of Hester's sin (adultery), the pregnancy therefore making it apparent she had sinned. At the same time Pearl was a blessing, as without her she would have most likely committed suicide.

 “… Had they taken her away from me (Pearl), I would have willingly gone with thee into the forest, and signed my name in the Black Man’s book too, and that with mine own blood!”

This is similar to Katniss's thinking at the beginning of Mockingjay

Peeta. If I knew for sure that he was dead, I could just disappear into the woods and never look back.

Below is a quote from the end of The Scarlet Letter:

"Pearl kissed his lips. A spell was broken. The great scene of grief, in which the wild infant bore a part, had developed all her sympathies; and as her tears fell upon her father’s cheek, they were the pledge that she would grow up amid human joy and sorrow, nor forever do battle with the world, but be a woman in it. Towards her mother, too, Pearl’s errand as a messenger of anguish was all fulfilled."

And another quote from the near end of Mockingjay:

I lean in and kiss Peeta full on the mouth. His whole body starts shuddering, but I keep my lips pressed to his until I have to come up for air. My hands slide up his wrists to clasp his. “Don’t let him take you from me.” Peeta’s panting hard as he fights the nightmares raging in his head. “No. I don’t want to . . .” I clench his hands to the point of pain. “Stay with me.” His pupils contract to pinpoints, dilate again rapidly, and then return to something resembling normalcy. “Always,” he murmurs.

I delve a bit into the Divine Comedies in this post.

[kitkats-and-kittens]

Still on my Hunger games grind, so can we talk about the relationships I legit never see discussed?

I’m talking about the other victors and their relationships with each other. Like from the way they interact and what we hear about them in catching fire they are all clearly friendly, or as a bare minimum, tolerable with each other.

And although they seem to stick with making friends primarily within their own circle we have evidence that they do establish personal connections with each other’s outside of their district.

People like Haymitch and Chaff or Finnick and Johanna. Honestly it makes sense since the victors all have shared trauma and can understand what they’re all going through, but I need to know how and when this begins?!?!?

Like in Catching Fire Katniss clearly doesn’t like them, at least at the beginning, and of course it makes sense since she doesn’t know them and never gets the chance too because of the quarter quell, but knowing what they’ve all gone through I honestly felt so upset when her and Peeta were making fun of them.

Still, I wonder what their relationships with the victors would have been like had the quarter quell had been different. I don’t think Katniss and Peeta would have trauma bonded with them in quite the same way as other victors had, but I’m so sad they never got to see the other victors behind the persona the Captiol crafted for them.

Also speaking of newer tributes relationships with other victors, what I really want to see is Finnicks relationship with them. I mean he was the youngest presumably for a good few years since the way I’ve always seen it is 18/17 year olds win the most often for obvious reasons and every couple of years you might get a 16 year old with 15 year olds being extremely rare.

But like if they’re used to 16, 17 and 18 year olds who age into adults only a few years after their games then what was it like having a full on child running around the Capital with them for like 3 years?!?

Like okay maybe I’m reaching, but I feel like in mockingjay Finnick had a really close relationship with Beetee and Haymitch. I don’t want to say it was parental, but since they were both quite a bit older than Finnick when he won his games I think it would’ve been them, as well as Mags who kinda showed Finnick how to be a Victor and maybe even helped protect him since the Captiol was being so, well…Captiol.

Honestly the idea of the older victors all helping to mentor the younger ones on how to be victors is so sad but in like a bittersweet kind of way.

And Beetee making Finnick the trident to distract him from Annie while Haymitch tried to convince him not to do the propo has my whole heart.

If you couldn’t tell by this post the victors and their respective endings make me so sad.

[mssr-crumpled-paper]

Gale and revolution

Maybe a hot take and people might throw tomatoes at me but I can't get this out of my head after reading THG.

I found it really hard to relate or even sympathize with Peeta because for me, reading the books, Peeta didn't exist as a character outside of his relationship with Katniss.

But Gale, on the other hand, did.

It was obvious to me from the beginning that Peeta was a character made with the intention for everyone to adore him. And don't get me wrong, Peeta is great. Too great. Perfect and flawless like a sterile version of a human person. And I can only assume that since we're seeing him from Katniss's perspective, along with her very obvious crush on the bread boy, that he's very idealic in her mind.

Gale, on the other hand, immediately gets sorta dogged on in the narrative like 5 pages in. He gets mad at Madge for being more privileged, for being well-fed, well-raised, well-dressed, and all other well-verb'ed that he never got to experience. From the perspective of someone who grew up lower middle class, I related immediately to Gale first. He was flawed, and understandable, and real in the most uncensored way possible.

He was brutal, he was angry, and violent, and that made SENSE to me (not that it's not fucked up). Maybe it's because my country has only VERY RECENTLY suffered from American imperialism, but I understand completely his need for violence, retribution, and revenge. And considering this was written during the War on Terror, the kid to extremist pipeline allegory is not missed. In that way, Gale exists outside of the context of Katniss. Gale exists within the context of his people, systemic oppression, and a revolution.

Peeta however was none of that. He wasn't a revolutionary by any means (but of course he wasn't, he was a child). But he seemed almost lacking in that sense of community with his people. This may be because Peeta grew up fed, still. He ate bread, no matter how stale, and he only had 5 slips of his own name in the games. He's a compassionate person, very much so, but only insofar as his immediate surrounding. Peeta could be kind because being kind and passive doesn't cost him his family. It almost, but ultimately doesn't cost him Katniss.

Gale had to care for his own family, Katniss's family during the Games, and became the only other person providing hunted game for the district's market. He got his district out of the burning rubble. He watched family, and friends, and people he's cared about his whole life die in a fire. For a boy who's only know to hunt with his own two hands, how can one expect gentleness.

So when, inevitably, people view Gale explicitly and exclusively through his relationship with Katniss, it robs Gale of being his own character: a brother, a son, a victim, a revolutionary, a child. And I think that's a shitty way to view him LOL.