#i mean like i ramble and i talk for years but i usually try to be SOMEWHAT coherent lmao
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hit it off right
Jeong Jaehyun x reader | 5.8k | friends to…?
After hearing about him for what seems like forever, you finally meet Jungwoo’s hot roommate. But it’s a lot more wholesome than anything else.
📀 now playing: say it - maggie rogers // decent - bas, amaarae // perfect places - lorde // dear to me - electric guest
a/n: seeing Jae getting drunk with YoungJi did something for me. I miss him and it’s really hard being a military wife. this is part of a larger collection coming soon, so nothing spicy. pls enjoy~
mentions of: other nct members, bff! Jungwoo, alcohol consumption, marijuana usage, light flirting, honestly tho everyone is just shy and cute and silly
A few days before the party, you’d asked Jungwoo what kind of wine his roommate liked. Since it was a celebration, you figured you should at least bring a gift.
“He told me to tell you to not bring anything.”
“How could he even know?” You whine, incredulous.
“Because I know you and your habit of balling out on people who are being celebrated.”
There’s not much you can say to that. You are known to bring a nice bottle of something that suits the taste of the one being celebrated. You love to see the joy on someone’s face when they get a tailored gift.
It’s the least you could do for someone when you notice their hard work. It feels good to appreciate someone, especially a friend like Jungwoo. It’s only natural you’d extend the perks to his roommate, right?
“You talk to your roomie about me?” You coo, poking his cheek. Setting his coffee cup down, he nods, seemingly pleased to share this piece of information with you.
“In passing. I told him you were coming, that I invited your coworker, too. I’ve gushed about her to him a few times. He just kinda smiled? Not in a weird way. Like… I don’t know. He just stared at me for a few seconds. Then he said he was happy to hear that. So-“
“Sounds like he’s in full support.”
Jungwoo smiles, bringing the cup back to his lips. Then he gives you a sly look over the rim before he speaks again.
“He also asked me about you.”
“What about me?”
“I guess I talk about you all the time, right? I told him about your art, all the art shows you’re in. I’m sure I’ve shown him a picture of you before, like from that time we went to the beach.”
“You showed your roommate my bikini photos?”
His eyes widen and he starts to immediately apologize when raise your hands to cut him off.
“Wait. Did he like them?”
“He… didn’t say much of anything if I’m being honest.”
“Oh.”
“Which doesn’t really mean anything, honestly. Sometimes he just doesn’t have anything to say.”
“…okay that’s a little better.”
It’s hard to imagine Jungwoo living with someone who doesn’t talk as much as he does.
The way you two often communicate is rapid-fire, dramatic, occasionally riffing off the other’s jokes. He likes to share his thoughts out loud and use you as a sounding board. You like to ramble about abstract art ideas and the special interest of the week.
Trying to picture your yap king living with someone who probably makes three facial expressions a year (says Jungwoo) makes you wish you could be a fly on the wall.
“How much have I told you about Jae? I know he’s always out, or at work so….”
His roommate’s name is Jaehyun. All you really know about him is that he’s close in age to Jungwoo, he used to be really competitive m, and that he has a cousin somewhere in Europe. Not much else past that.
“One time I was over you showed me a photo or two from when you guys were in high school. I’ve seen him in your stories too.”
“You said he was cute! I forgot about that.”
You recall a guy with dark hair and a cute bowl cut, wearing the same basketball jersey as Jungwoo. When you said cute, you were referring to their round faces and goofy hair cuts. The more recent pictures on Instagram were usually from an angle where you couldn’t really see his face, but he was always dressed nice from what you could tell.
“He was! Little cutie stranger man.”
There’s a beat.
“Okay, so about that. He’s was cute but now he’s, like, super handsome.”
“What do you mean?”
“Like, he’s hot. Bulked up, started dressing nicer, smells good. His jawline is insane. He should actually model. I didn’t know he was going to look like that when we grew up, you know?” He shakes his head in disbelief.
“Damn, you ever told him all that?”
“All the time, actually. He’s so sick of me. At this point I’m just saying something that’s objectively true. You’d be lying if you thought he was ugly. So that being said-“
He whips his head towards you, you watch a plot and scheme form in his brain. His lips curl into something devilish.
“Careful not to fall in love with my roommate, yeah?”
You blink at him, two times. Three times.
“Huh?”
His words sounded like a warning, but it feels like he very much would prefer you do the opposite.
“I just feel like he’s someone you’d fall for.”
“You’ve never seen me fall for anyone. Not once since you’ve known me.”
“Exactly. Which is why I’m saying… I think you guys will get along well.”
“Don’t hope too hard, but I’m sure he’s lovely.”
Sighing, Jungwoo offers you a sympathetic look. You ignore it and instead check for any emails from the art festival you’re vending at later in the month. It’s not much help, as you can still feel his eyes on you.
“I think he’d be good for you.”
“I don’t think playing matchmaker with your friends is that good of an idea,” you clipped.
Right before you met Jungwoo in senior year of college, you’d been in a relationship that ended pretty badly. You were in love, and you think he was, too. At one point at least.
But when things run their course, and you stay in them too long, they start to drain you of everything.
You’d lost a lot of time and energy trying to be pretty enough, interesting enough, desirable enough to keep the spark alive. To keep his attention. But to no avail. It was like he was just waiting for you to leave.
After a while, feeling empty and settling for whatever he could toss your way was too much to bear. It was just time to let go.
It was hard when at the end, you realized he just didn’t love you like you loved him. But was too scared himself to be honest with you about it.
Heartbreak was one thing, but grieving a relationship that wasn’t all that real was another. It took you a long time to move through that pain.
Jungwoo watched you put a lot of effort into rebuilding your personality, your self worth, your confidence. He was nothing but supportive, as were your other friends, dragging you to every show in the city, joining you at a new cafe or listening to your new ideas about art you’d been neglecting. And Jungwoo’s friends were a wonderful addition to your life, as well.
It was beyond being choosy- you’d taken yourself out of the dating game altogether, focusing on work, art, your friends. Yourself.
Now you were very careful not to let anyone in and disrupt that. It’s been a beautiful life to fall back into; you’d hate to lose it to the wrong person.
Jungwoo is nothing but understanding still, squeezing your arm instead of pushing any further.
“Well, regardless, I know you’ll get along well. Even as friends.”
You roll your eyes at him, a small smile creeping back onto your face.
“Don’t look into his eyes, though, seriously. He’s something else.”
On the trip over to Jungwoos apartment your friend tells you about her day, catching you up on some work gossip and her roommates string of interesting dates.
She laughs at how engrossed you are in her words, loving how excited you are to listen to the tea. You’re asking questions, connecting dots. The entertainment is delicious.
“I’m never on shit, so I’m living vicariously through you guys,” you sigh.
“We’re on shit tonight! I’m excited to party with Jungwoo.”
You flit your eyes over to her. “Yeah?”
“Girl, yes. He seems like a good person to party with. He’s always so bubbly and sweet when we go out for coffee, and always supportive of you so he’s good in my book.”
You wish she knew why you were smiling so big.
“He is a sweetheart, and a wonderful friend. I feel like you guys will get along well, I’m surprised we haven’t all gone out before.”
Pulling your phone out, you open your camera to check for a lipgloss reapplication when text from Jungwoo comes through.
woo-ah: 🎶 what’s ur ETA?🎵
“C-can I be honest with you?”
Immediately you lock your phone, adjusting your body to give her your full attention.
“Of course you can.”
She glances towards the driver, bringing her hand up to cover her mouth like she’s telling you a juicy secret.
“I think he’s gorgeous.” Her cute confession has you both giggling like schoolgirls in the back of the rideshare. “Don’t tell him, please!”
“Babe, your secret is safe with me.” You pinch your fingers together, pretending to zip your lips. “You wanna hear a secret?”
Her eyes widen in anticipation.
“I think he thinks you’re cute, too.”
“Shut up, no way!”
“Let’s just say I have insider info.”
“Your secret is safe with me.”
you: appx 4 min 🤠
woo-ah: 🪩🕺🫶🏼
You lock arms with your friend as you lead the way into the apartment building, being here enough times to know what floor and that the right elevator is faster than the left.
She’s talking about the book her roommate just recommended her as you get to Jungwoos floor. You even ask her to send you a text, saying that she should start a bookclub as you rap your knuckles on the door.
Jungwoo opens the door, moving to hug you both and welcome you into the apartment.
“Come in, come in!”
Music is playing from a speaker, and a chorus of voices comes from the living room.
You walk ahead of Jungwoo and your friend, who are exchanging thank you’s for invitations and gifts of alcohol, and a chorus of voices welcomes you in the living room.
Doyoung and Donghyuck practically race and slide around in their socks to hug you and kiss you on the forehead and you pull them in for a haphazard group hug.
“Long time no see!” Doyoung clasps his hands together. “It’s so nice to have us all together at one time.”
“What a mom, we’re here to get shitfaced.” Donghyuck teasing Doyoung is secretly something you live for, but you pretend to defend Doyoung from him.
“Let us get a few drinks in before you start shit talking him, damn!”
The guys make sure you’re introduced to the rest of their friends, the ones you haven’t had a chance to meet yet. You’ve heard all their names in conversation, usually when talking about some social event or fun times they had back in school. It was wonderful to finally put names to faces, and they were more than happy to do the same for you.
“Jungwoo finally brought you around!” Renjun and Jaemin cheer. “We’ve been wanting to meet you for so long.”
You blush under all the affection from them.
“I’m so glad to finally meet you guys.”
“Come on, you have to try the cocktail YangYang made.”
Dragging you into the kitchen, you’re flooded by more introductions, jokes and insanely loud laughter, and it feels like you’ve been doing this for years with them already.
YangYang passes you a glass, a sliced lemon garnishing the side and all. You take one sip, then immediately take another. “Wow, this is delicious. Thank you!”
“There are three kinds of liquors in there,” he says, shooting you an apologetic look. “All light, but they told me I had to get everyone drunk, so-“
Before he can even try to apologize, stop him.
“That’s my kind of drink, then!” And you propose a toast with whoever’s in the kitchen.
The cheers begin to die down when someone walks into the kitchen.
Jungwoo has a lot of attractive friends. You knew this from the jump. He’s a model, he had model friends, friends who were in entertainment and the arts. From seeing whoever was on his Instagram story every few weeks, to getting drinks with everyone else occasionally, you’d gotten very used to being surrounded by pretty men.
Jungwoo did not prepare you well enough for Jeong Jaehyun.
“It’s our boy! Congratulations!”
The kitchen erupts into more greetings and well wishes as the man of the hour had just arrived. You sit back as everyone moves into pat him on the back, hug him or, like Donghyuck, kiss him right on the cheek.
Everyone’s voices just turn into background noise as you take him in.
He smiles the most beautiful smile you’ve ever been blessed enough to witness, and you have to force yourself to take a large sip of your drink so not to gawk at him.
Renjun and Jaemin motion for you to come closer, and you use the one solid second you have to steel your nerves as you step closer to them.
Jaemin slings his arm around you. “Jae, have you met our girl yet?”
Renjun playfully shakes his arm. “Jungwoo has been keeping her from us for eons.”
Jaehyun takes a step closer to you. He’s tall, much taller than you, so you have to tilt your head back to fully look at him.
And what a sight to see.
Jaehyun smiles again, a little shy but just for you. His eyes crinkle at the corners, smile so sincere and kind like he’s smiling at someone he’s known for years.
Extending his hand out to you, he wants to greet you properly. Shakily you place your smaller hand in his. But instead of shaking your hand, he uses both hands to gently hold it.
“It’s nice to finally meet you.”
The baritone voice almost knocks you on your ass.
Taking take a moment to will some confidence, some chill to come through when you speak, you swallow and push your shoulders back.
“You as well, Jaehyun. It’s been a long time coming, yeah?”
It’s taking everything in you to sound normal and relaxed, unfazed by this man.
He cocks his head to the side and laughs, his nose crinkling and smile lines that resemble whiskers making themselves visible. The sight makes your head spin.
“A very long time.” He releases your hand, and you place it against the side of your glass hoping it will absorb some of the heat from the exchange. “Thank you for coming.”
With your resolve expiring in seconds, you’re so thankful for Jungwoo making his way into the kitchen. While he introduces your work friend to Jaehyun, you shuffle out the kitchen alongside Renjun and Jaemin.
You sit on the armrest of the couch, listening to them bicker over what game the party should play first, remembering how to breathe.
Jaehyun quietly settles into a chair for one close to you, tuning into the commotion. He doesn’t make a move towards you, and you’re glad even if just for a moment. Out the corner of your eye, you take him in.
Handsome isn’t the right word to use, you think. He’s dressed clean and simple, nice jeans and a white t-shirt. The side profile is something unreal, perfect chiseled features but his face still soft and welcoming. His dark hair is slightly pushed back, a few stands falling over his forehead. He leans forward to tap Jaemin on the shoulder, complimenting him on ‘how big he’s gotten’ at the gym, with the younger preening under his praise.
Just in the short time in the same room, it’s clear that Jaehyun is like a big brother. And from what Jungwoo has told you is super sweet and caring. That alone makes you want to know him more, and makes him all the more attractive.
Looking over at you, he offers you a small smile which you mirror to avoid coming off as awkward. Noticing that you are both nursing the same drink, he raises his glass towards you for a small toast.
“To you and the summer,” you offer, raising your glass as you do so.
“I can drink to that.”
You take another large swig of your drink, hoping after the third your nerves can handle more than two sentences next time.
It’s silly, you think, to be this affected by a man. An attractive one, yes. But just a man. A friend of a friend, even.
Jungwoo’s words echo in the back of your mind, that he thought you and Jaehyun would get along well. Part of you doesn’t want to prove him right, but another part of you wonders if getting along with Jaehyun wouldn’t be such a bad thing.
So you try your best to start and make conversation.
“I heard about your promotion, congratulations!”
“Ah thank you,” he says, smiling into his cup. “It’s actually more of a career change.”
“Really? What are you going to be doing?”
He takes a minute to respond, and for a moment you wonder if he even heard in the first place. Before you can repeat yourself, however, he’s speaking again.
“I’m… writing music. Singing some, too. For me and for others.” He points over his shoulder with his thumb. “I’ll be working with Taeyong a lot, in his studio.”
Eyebrows raising, you lean in a bit.
“You sing, Jaehyun?”
“Sometimes.” He takes a drink. “I write stories on artists, interview people in music. Do some editing. The company I work for was really cool about letting me try different things, I really liked working for them.”
There’s a moment where you’re not sure if he’s going to speak again, and right when you think you should ask another question he continues.
“But I always wanted to sing my own songs, produce my own work. My current line of business has its perks, a lot of connections too. So I’ve been working on my own stuff on the side.”
You didn’t peg him as someone in performance- he’s so pretty you’re surprised he isn’t a model or an actor honestly. But he doesn’t seem to be anything anyone would think at first glance.
“That’s so exciting. Especially working with friends, I like Taeyongie’s music. And ’m really happy to hear you’re able to chase after your dream.”
“Thank you, I’m excited to share.”
He looks at you through his eyelashes as he takes another drink.
So we’re both trying to numb our nerves, you thought to yourself.
“I hope I get to hear some music from you soon.”
He casts another smile your way, and that’s when you know the liquor is kicking in because it doesn’t send you reeling this time.
“I hope you do, too. Soon.”
“Shots?”
Everyone gathers around in the living room, passing small glasses around to those partaking in alcoholic festivities tonight. You pass one to Jaehyun, who holds it up against the light.
“I haven’t taken a shot in a long time.”
“I got you the good shit, Jae.” Jungwoo holds up two expensive bottles. “Whiskey? Or gin?”
“Oh shit… let’s do the gin. Sticking with lights tonight.”
He asks for your preference, and you do the same.
Jungwoo opens the bottle of gin and pours the first round of shots for the night. After he pours his own, he holds his glass up for a toast.
“I know this is, like, the fourth toast of the night but it probably won’t be the last if I’m being honest.”
Taeyong groans. “I’m betting on at least seven in total.”
“Those are rookie numbers,” YangYang yells out, the younger boys cackling and suggesting higher numbers.
“Anyway!” Jungwoo bangs the gin bottle on the coffee table. “This is the emotional one. It’s the end of the summer and I hate to see her go. But we’re moving into fall, and falling into our new lives-“
Donghyuck pretends to yawn.
“Dude shut up, it’s just Jaehyun-”
“I’m not finished!” And he taps the bottle again, your head falling against the back of the couch in silent laughter. “Thank you all for being part of another summer and thank you guys for coming to celebrate one of my closest, oldest friends.”
“Literally.”
Doyoung throws a pillow at Donghyuck and motions for Jungwoo to continue.
Jungwoo turns to Jaehyun, who’s made his way onto the couch alongside you and your friend. “I’m happy to see you make your wildest dreams come true. I can’t wait to see you become the sexy superstar you were always meant to be. Cheers!”
The room is full of cheers and then groans from knocking back shots with no chasers, but it’s a pleasant burn as it slides down your throat.
You blow a kiss at Jungwoo, wiping a fake tear from your eye. “Your speech was beautiful. Very moving.”
The next hour is filled with mini beer pong (players had to sip water instead of alcohol, many thanks to Doyoung), stories about the boys time in school or how some of them met their partners, and shared soju.
The boys complain that he’ll cheat if he plays so instead Jaehyun shares a strong bottle of peach soju, his favorite, with you and your coworker.
At first, it’s very cute to just watch Jaehyun laugh at all of his friends antics. He enjoys listening, occasionally cracking a few jokes or making funny noises. But he’s more than happy to settle back into the couch and observe.
But he’s also big on being a good host, even if he’s the one being celebrated- if he isn’t offering you another drink he’s offering to grab something from the kitchen for you. They’re small but clear gestures to make sure his couch neighbors are as comfortable as he is.
He’s laid back and quiet but attentive- it has you swooning a bit. It’s a contrast to the rest of the men in the apartment, who are also sweet but characteristically loud and rambunctious. You love it, but it’s fascinating to watch Jaehyun hum and giggle to himself rather than dominate a conversation.
After you clear the second soju bottle and Jungwoo has wedged himself between you and your friend, you think you hear Jaehyun giggle beside you.
“What’s so funny?” You laugh, setting the empty bottle down on the coffee table.
He just shrugs, cheeks beginning to flush from the alcohol. He’s pretty like this, you think.
“Are you a silly drunk, Jae?” You tease, catching the attention of Donghyuck.
“Oh man, he’s gonna start getting real silly soon.” The younger man comes to sit on the armrest closest to Jaehyun, affectionately brushing his hair off his forehead. He weakly tries to swat Donghyucks hand away.
“I’m not silly,” he tries to argue, way too cute and whiny compared to the man you met just two hours ago.
“You’re sooo silly right now,” Donghyuck laughs. “She’s going to have to take care of you soon!”
His eyebrows shoot up and he tries to sit straighter, attempting to coolly settle against the back of the couch. “No, no. I’m fine. I’m-“
“Come get some air with us!” Jaemin and Donghyuck pull him up by his arms, with little to no resistance from Jaehyun. He just rolls his eyes as they pull him to his feet.
Jaemin cheers, pushing him towards the sliding door to the deck.
Looking over his shoulder, he nods at you. “Need anything while I’m up?”
You wave him off towards the door.
“No, I’m okay. Go get some air.”
With you beaming up at him, Jaehyun swears the room has gotten a few degrees hotter. The air will do him good.
Jaehyun finds you in the kitchen later, just finishing one of the cookies someone brought. You pass one to him and he finishes it in one bite.
“How many drinks in are you?”
“Shit… I’m at about four. Not including that shot.”
“I think I’m at about the same,” he says, shuffling closer to you at the kitchen island overlooking the living room.
There’s a moment of silence that you share, watching all of his and Jungwoos friends (and yours now) fill up the apartment with laughter (and some screaming- Renjun set Mario Kart up on the tv).
Your heart swells knowing how loved Jungwoo is, as well as Jaehyun.
But then it dawns on you that you haven’t seen Jungwoo or your friend in a while. Before you can mention that to Jaehyun, he bumps his hip against yours.
The alcohol might not have been enough to turn the alarms off in your brain yet, but your body is slow to react to him essentially snuggling into your side. He’s warm, and he smells warm too. Like a vanilla candle. There’s something else you can’t place, but it’s more than pleasant.
“I have to tell you a secret.” He whispers, and it’s cute and kind of whiny.
“A secret?” You say, barely over a whisper. He nods slowly, looking into the crowd.
He can’t see shit, in all honesty.
“I may or may not be a little crossed.”
“That’s what I smell on you?”
“Shit, is it bad?” Just like that, he’s a little more self conscious than he is silly. He smells his shirt in a few different places, earning a laugh from you.
“No, you’re fine. It’s because you’re so close that I can smell it.” He sighs and laughs almost at himself. “Is that where you and the boys went?”
“Yeah. I don’t usually smoke but it’s something like a special occasion.”
“Absolutely it is. You deserve it.”
He simply hums, letting a a few seconds pass before he speaks again.
“You smoke?”
“Weed? Rarely.”
“Cigs?”
“Not once in my life.”
“Good for you, we’re all nicotine addicts in here.”
“Vape away, I could never judge.”
At that you both turn towards the other at the same time, chests inches apart.
His eyes are low from the weed, the whites tinted red. He’s looking down at you, a silly, boyish grin on his lips. You can’t help but blush under his gaze, lips curving into a grin of their own.
“Thanks for coming tonight.” His voice is soft, barely audible. You feel yourself subconsciously leaning into him, wishing to hear him a little louder.
“Of course, I had to support the homie. And play wingman.”
He tilts his head back to glance around the room , the realization hitting him then.
“Oh shit, I haven’t seen them in a while.”
“Then I guess I did a good job. I barely did anything but whatever.”
He laughs, voice deep and rumbly. “You did great.”
He leans onto the counter, his arm resting closing to where your hip sits against the edge. He slowly shifts his eyes back over to you, looking over your frame. Just once, even his sluggish brain is careful not to get ahead of itself.
“I’m glad we finally got to meet.”
“I am too.” Your skin is on fire under his intense gaze. It’s not so much intense as it is just so warm, so amiable. You deflect to take some of the heat off of you, quite literally. “Jungwoo talks about you all the time.”
“Yeah? What does he say?”
That you’re so fucking handsome and I’d be stupid to lie and disagree.
“That you don’t say too much, but you’re a really good friend.”
A surprised look washed over his face, then he turns sheepish.
“He’s…… that’s sweet of him.” Jaehyun rubs the back of his neck, thinking on his next words as carefully as his crossed mind will allow him. “I’m glad you’re his friend. He needs someone like you.”
You tilt your head to the side.
“What do you mean?”
“Someone who isn’t as shy as him.”
“Haha, you think I don’t get shy?” It’s funny when you think back on how nerve wracking is was to shake his hand for the first time.
But he’s just giving you this knowing look now, a ghost of a smirk at the corner of his lips.
“If you do, you hide it well.” You could scream. Can he see right through you? “But seriously. You push him to do well.”
Jaehyun is slow to speak, but even inebriated he’s intentional. Something you’ve learned in just the past few hours about him is that it may take him a while to get his thoughts out, but it’s more than worth it to hear what he has to say.
You hang on to every pause like your life depends on it, eager to hear what comes out of his mouth next.
“Before you guys worked together, he was a lot more… reserved. And passive? Like, he’s good at everything he does. We know this. But… he never really sought recognition.”
“You’re right. But he deserves it.”
He nods while he thinks on his next words.
“Yeah. I remember in school he was just happy to pass and be included in things. Never attracted much attention to himself. Never wanted to be in the spotlight. But since working with you, he’s become proud of the work he does. His confidence has grown. He’s louder. Funnier. You pushed him a lot.”
“That’s all him, he works hard-“
“He does, you pushed him though. When he finally started modeling last year all he could do was say how thankful he was for you. How you encouraged him, helped him with headshots. Went shopping with him and made sure he felt good going into auditions. And it took off.”
Your breath catches in your throat.
“He… he said that? Really?”
“He did. You’ve been a very good friend to him.”
Blinking away the tears that started to pinprick behind your eyes, you smile at Jaehyun whose own eyes are filled with mirth. Even cross faded, Jaehyun’s words were so sincere and kind.
“Are you crying?”
You sniffle, using your thumbs to collect any tears in the corner of your eyes so not to ruin your makeup.
“I was gonna but I’m okay.”
He laughs that hearty laugh again and ruffles your hair. It’s such a small gesture, but so comfortable. Domestic even. Like you’ve been friends for years. It makes your heart even fuller than it already is and if he keeps it up, it’ll burst before the end of the night.
The alcohol coursing through you is doing nothing but spread this warmth, double time. Happiness feels good coursing through you.
“Let’s get some water, yeah?” He cocks his head toward the fridge. “Doyoung brought some sparkling water.”
You begin to follow him as he takes a few steps backwards. “What flavor?”
“We have…” He starts, opening the door to the fridge. “I can barely see. Wow.”
“Move, I’ll look.”
You hip check him out of the way, and hear someone come into the kitchen behind you.
“I’m no better, but this looks like ginger peach. And calamansi.”
“Pass me a calamansi, please? You want a sparkling water, Taeyong?”
“Do you think it’s a good mixer for gin?” He asks, loud enough for someone in the living room to hear.
Then, that someone yells out: “Another round of shots?”
Laughing, you hand Jaehyun his sparkling water, and pass a ginger and peach flavored water to Taeyong. “Let’s find out, yeah?”
More cheering is heard as you shuffle back into the living room and let Doyoung pour the next round of shots.
He’s a sweetheart and pours the shots right into you and Taeyongs cans, Jaehyun sneakily placing a sealed water bottle next to your foot.
It’s well into the night, the hour a single digit when the party starts to die down.
Jungwoo is in the loveseat for one and a half, your friend snuggled into his side.
You’ve found yourself back on the couch with Jaehyuns head resting on your shoulder and one of his legs swung over Taeyongs. Miraculously, Donghyuck has found a way to lay across you all comfortably.
“I’m going to order a ride home for us soon,” your friend says through a yawn. Donghyuck is already whining, earning some light smacks from the older boys under him.
“We’re so comfy, why would you want to mess up our cuddle pile?
“I’m not cuddling, I’m being leaned on,” you tease, grinning down at Jaehyun who can barely hold his eyes open. He’s trying his best to focus on one of your faces because he sees three, but he’s not complaining.
“Hm… my bad.” He moves to sit up, but Donghyuck just nestles into him even further, and Jaehyun can’t seem to muster up enough strength to (care) knock him into the floor. “I really… I really did try.”
Jaehyun has hit peak silly hours. From little hums and cute noises to the worst dad jokes you’ve heard in a while, you understand what Donghyuck meant earlier. Jaemin and Jungwoo even got him to cutely pose for drunk selfies earlier.
Laughing through your nose, you use the hand that’s free to reach around and pat his cheek affectionately. In this state he instinctually leans into your touch, humming in approval. You have to fight the urge to squeeze his cheeks. “Jae you gonna be alright?”
“I told you she was going to have to take care of you!” At that, he and Taeyong had enough and pushed him into the floor. He lets out a squawk as his body hits the ground with a light thud. “Fuck. It’s comfier down here anyway.”
Jungwoo slowly stands up, helping your friend to her feet. “So Donghyuck is sleeping here, literally right there. No blanket. I don’t want to see you using something weird as a replacement either.”
While the boys still present start to bicker some more, Jaehyun taps your knee to get your attention.
“I’ll be okay. Just got a little carried away.”
“You’re okay. Let’s get you to bed then?”
His eyes open a little wider, mouth parting to say something. You wait.
“Are you staying over?”
“No I’m going home tonight.”
He pouts, and it almost sends you to another dimension.
“Aw don’t make that face, I’ll be back soon.”
“Okay. Good.”
You call to Taeyong, who really isn’t that much better, but he does help you get Jaehyun off the couch and down the hall to his bedroom.
You let Taeyong handle the hard part of getting him out of his jeans and under the covers, heading to the kitchen to fill a glass of water. “Jungwoo, you have any painkiller?”
“In that drawer by the stove.” He stands beside you in the kitchen. “For Jae?”
“Yeah. You want any water?”
“Nah I was good tonight. I’ll be okay.” He purses his lips. “You’re sweet for that. Taking care of him.”
“I’m not doing anything I wouldn’t do for you.”
“I know… exactly what I mean.” You shake your head and walk to Jaehyun’s room, entering while Taeyong exits.
“He’s decent, just whiny.”
“Thank you, I’ll just leave this for him then.”
You approach the side of the bed where he’s sprawled out, eyes barely open but you can see them following you even in the dark.
“Brought you some water. And some painkiller. Take it when you can, yeah?”
“Hm. Tell Jungwoo to give Hyuck a blanket.”
You chuckle and ruffle his hair before moving to leave.
“Have a good night, Jaehyun.”
“Hmm…”
unknown number: hey it’s jaehyun
unknown number: jungwoo gave me your number. thanks for coming yesterday. don’t be a stranger!
#jeong jaehyun#jung jaehyun#NCT#nct 127#jeong jaehyun x reader#jung jaehyun x reader#jaehyun x reader#nct x reader#my writing#nct fic
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© property of lovecla, nhl masterlist, nico hischier x you:
FAKE IT ‘TILL YOU MAKE IT, game plan:
➴ chapter warnings: none <3
➴ word count: 1.5k
💌 from me to you: and here’s the first chapter of fake it ‘till you make it! posting this sooner than expected in honor of last night’s game. can you guys believe we have nico hischier as our captain? how lucky are we? anyways! i hope you all like this! (the posting schedule will be just like TYPA, every other day!) ♡
𖧷
WHEN YOU tell people that being friends with a hot, young NHL player isn’t at all that great, all they do is look at you like you’re batshit crazy, and give you one hundred and fifty four arguments trying to make you, someone who’s been friends with a guy who’s been a NHL star player for the past few years, see how wrong you are.
You love Nico Hischier. You really do. You met him when you were just eighteen, being friends with his sister, Nina, and immediately locking in with Nico. He’s the sweetest, kindest and most loving man you have ever met in your life, and now that you’re twenty-three, almost twenty-four, you can see how rare men like Nico are.
But now that he’s a famous player, captain of an entire team and known for being one of the hottest men in the NHL, you sure feel like you’re paying a high price for being in his life.
Not in a bad way, though. It just sucks to see the amount of women throwing themselves at his feet, and what sucks even more, is knowing that he won’t even blink an eye at them because he’s head over heels for Nora Ellis, a crazy girl he met two years ago at a party.
Nora is beautiful, you’ll give him that. And usually, you wouldn’t be upset with him having a crush. In fact, you and Nina are always encouraging him to engage in new relationships and meet new people, so that he isn’t only worried about his job.
Nora. She’s the most beautiful black woman you have ever seen. She’s intelligent, she’s funny and she knows things about Hockey like no one else— being the daughter of one of the most talented coaches in the NHL does that to you, you guess.
The only problem with Nora Ellis is the fact that she only cares for men who are in a relationship.
Married or dating, she doesn’t care. Her only goal is to make them give up on their partner to be with her, and once she gets tired of them, she finds another mission to busy herself with.
Nico doesn’t seem to notice that. To be fair, no one really does. She can be very subtle and discreet, and the only reason why you caught up on that in the first place is because every party you go to, you try to blend yourself with the walls, so you don’t get too much attention on yourself.
Nico always tells you to stay by his side and mingle with his friends, but by the end of the night, you’re always sitting near the bathroom door, with a drink in your hands, watching the party unfold with attentive eyes.
And turns out that a lot can happen in the bathroom of a party full of NHL players and Nora Ellis.
So you know she’s not good for him. You’ve tried to talk him out of it more times than you can actually recall, but it’s a dead end. Nico’s in love with her, and has been for two years now. He won’t give up on her unless something really drastic happens, but since Nora is really good at what she does— destroying relationships for fun—, nothing will ever rise to the surface.
“She’s so… pretty,” Nico sighs, sitting on the couch beside you, making you sigh and put your book down, not forgetting to mark the page you were in. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to bother you.”
You smile, touching his cheek, watching with awe as his dimples appear. “It’s fine, Dimples.”
He rolls his eyes as he always does when you call him that, and continues.
“You’re the only one who still listens to me ramble about Nora,” he pouts. “Nina said that if I talk about her one more time, she’ll fly to Newark and personally destroy my phone so I can’t call her anymore.”
You laugh loudly, perfectly picturing Nina saying that.
“And Luca?” you ask, raising your eyebrow.
“Luca just says I need to move on.”
“Well, he’s always been more patient than Nina, that’s for sure,” you nod, placing your book on Nico’s coffee table and bringing your knees close to your chest, resting your head on them. “But… he’s not wrong, y’know?”
Nico gives you the puppy eyes, as he always does whenever someone mentions that he should get over Nora, and you sigh again.
Seeing him like this sucked in every way. And you’ve tried everything— get him on dating apps, blind dates, normal dates, pointing at a pretty girl at a party, literally everything.
And still, he’s not budging.
“I wish she would just look at me. I’m handsome, right?” He looks at you, brown eyes filled with despair.
You spend some seconds analyzing him, as you often liked to do. His brown, hazelnut eyes that shined bright everyday, his hair that’s now a little bit longer than usual, his legs and arms which are absolutely huge— when did he get that big anyway?— and his perfect, charming smile and dimples.
“Emma?”
“O-oh, yeah, you’re… fine, I guess,” you shrug, trying to hide the fact that you were checking him out. Weird. “It’s not about you, Nico, I’ve said that before.”
“Okay, but why won’t she pay attention to me, then?”
Because you don’t have a girlfriend, is what you want to say.
Wait.
“Oh my God!” you jump in your seat, scaring Nico who lets out a loud scream and jumps out of the couch with you.
“What the— Emma.” He puts his hands on his hips, trying to look scary, but you brush him off.
“I know how to make her fall in love with you,” you smile, walking around in circles, trying to organize your thoughts inside your head. Nico. Nora. She thinks she’s in love. Nico’s happy. They get together. She’ll leave him after three months or so. Nico’s sad. But! Nico’s moved on. “God, how did I not think of that before?”
“What are you talking about—”
“We have to date.”
Nico stares at you like you’re crazy, his eyes big and confused. He opens his mouth a few times, probably trying to think of something to say, before closing it and inhaling the air.
You wait for him to say something, but when it’s obvious that he won’t, you continue:
“I know it sounds crazy, and I know what you must be thinking, but hear me out,” you step closer, looking up at him. “Girls sometimes don’t pay attention to guys because… well, because they can’t really see them. Like, for example: there’s this one guy in my office which I don’t care about, he’s just my coworker and nothing else.”
“What does this have to do with—” you put your index finger over his lips, shushing him.
“Wait,” you say. “So, he’s there and he isn’t anything. Until, one night, I had a dream that he’s dating me. And suddenly, I wake up and go to work, and I can’t see him the same way I did before. I start noticing how nice his hair is or how tall he is. Do you understand it now?”
Nico smiles, scratching his forehead with his finger.
“No, Emma. That doesn’t even make sense.”
You snort. “Because you’re a man. But trust me on this one, Nico. The second Nora sees you with someone else, she will notice you.”
Mostly because she’s a whore, but we’ll keep that to ourselves for a while.
“Do you have… like… a crush on me or something?” His face is now red and he gets closer to you, placing his hand on your shoulder while he looks like he’s trying to comfort you. “Is that why you want to do this?”
“What— No, what the hell!” you can feel your face getting warm and you step away from him. “No, I don’t have a c-crush on you. I just can’t stand you talking about her anymore. I’m your friend, so I will help you.”
Nico sighs, relieved it seems, still looking unsure.
“You don’t have to do it, if you don’t want to,” you say, closing your eyes for a few seconds. “I know it sounds crazy and I know you probably think I’m trying to get something here but in reality—”
“I’ll do it.”
“What?!” you can’t hide your surprise, almost shouting with how loud you spoke.
He smiles, sitting back on the couch, spreading his thighs and stretching his arms. “I mean, you’re never wrong about these love related things. You did get my sister an amazing boyfriend and you did manage to convince my brother to ask that girl out, and now they’re married. So it’s probably my turn to accept your love advice and shit, right?”
You’re starting to feel bad about this whole thing, because you know Nora will probably break his heart in thousands of little pieces, but what else can you do?
It’s the perfect plan, you think to yourself. It’s flawless, and it will work.
“I try my best,” you give him a half-smile, crossing your arms in front of your chest. “But you have to promise me something.”
Nico nods. “Anything.”
“If this doesn’t work out, then you'll move on.”
“Emma—”
“It’s not healthy for you to be thristing over someone for this much time,” you sit on the couch next to him and place your hand on his shoulder, giving it a little squeeze. “We will fight, and we will fight hard, but if there’s no results in three months, and I’m being generous, we’ll move on. Okay?”
Nico stared at his hands, biting his lips before looking at you again.
“Okay.”
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<next chapter>
#FITYMI#nico hischier smau#nico hischier x oc#nico hischier x you#nico hischier fluff#nico hischier au#nico hischier fanfic#nico hischier smut#nico hischier imagine#nico hischier#nico hischier angst#nh13#nhl imagine#nhl fic#nhl fanfiction#nhl players#new jersey devils x you#new jersey devils fic#new jersey devils#fake dating#hockey fic
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OC VOICE CLAIMS!!
This took so long to make lol. Was it necessary to make individual collages for each oc? No, but it was pretty fun. Sry if the audio is shit I don’t have YouTube premium and screenrecorded videos for the audio 💔
I also tried to write the names of my ocs in ways that would look like their handwriting!!
Some rambles about my choices v
Alan: I saw this clip somewhere and it felt SO FITTING. Even the dog motif and the song fits. Al would 100% listen to Mitski. I wanted Alan to have a warm voice because he might appear intimidating from the outside, but once you talk to him (literally), he’s a sweet guy.
Samuel: Jack Stauber is one of my favorite artists and musicians and over time he started feeling fitting for Samu‘s voice lol. His laugh is also really fun
Charly: Her voice is supposed to be kinda squeaky and a bit “rough“ (idk how to explain it), and very energetic. A bit annoying, but also endearing lmao
Nathan: Neil’s music has impacted me SO MUCH and his work has influenced my ocs too, especially Nathan. Pretty much every song from Spirit Phone is on my Nathan playlist, the vibe of that album has influenced his character so much!! His voice is usually pretty calm, but can get pretty crazy when he’s breaking down emotionally (just like Neil’s)
Robin: He’s supposed to sound kinda young and immature (since he’s barely out of his teens himself), so this type of voice felt fitting. He struggles with the fact that people infantilize him and I wanted to portray that through the voice
Eva: relistened to The Mind Electric recently and this part just hit me with how fitting that voice would be so ig that’s her voice now lol
Beatrix: She would try to appear very calm, warm and welcoming to deceive others and win them over, but also condescending if that makes sense? I haven’t watched Steven Universe but from what I’ve heard White Diamond shares a bunch of similarities with Beatrix so!!
the video itself is already so long and now I’m rambling here too lol sorry but I’m really passionate about this and have been meaning to make voice claims for my ocs for years now!!
Edit: Om3n-Of-D3ath let me know the clip I used for Robin is Lloyd from the Lego Ninjago movie!
#art#oc#digital art#illustration#Collage#voice claim#oc voice claim#oc voice headcanons#drawing#collage art#my ocs#oc art#oc artwork#ocs#oc story#oc lore#original character#original characters#original character art#original story#original illustration#furry oc#digital artist#artist#artwork#my art#artists on tumblr#art oc#oc illustration#oc drawing
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...
#i am Dying#so for reasons im not gonna get into i stopped taking my meds a couple months ago#and luckily my mood and depression/anxiety hasnt been an issue at all!!#in fact im usually very happy and content#but one thing has come back and its come with a fucking vengeance#like i thought it was annoying in high school#but now its downright hindering#like im making up for the past 9 years or whatever#and i didnt realize until this week that its probably bc im off my meds#and unfortunately its making my insomnia bad again which means im starting to have another issue that i had in hs#its only happened once but if it continues then things will get bad lol#im trying to be vague on purpose bc this is soooo embarrassing#i cant talk to my friends abt it bc we dont talk abt that stuff (or at least they dont w me so i dont feel comfortable bringing it up)#and i would talk to my sister but i dont want her to know im off my meds#so like. dying#i have a plethora of my insomnia/anxiety/depression meds dont get me wrong#but in order to take them again i need to update my insurance w the doctor#then go to the doctor#then get a referral to a specialist#who can hopefully help me#and then i can take my meds again#i knowww i should bc my slope be slippin#but like im in a good mood and am content with everything in my life but my work and my issue that i need a specialist for#so im not very motivated to do things i dont wanna do#idkkkk#sorry im rambling lmao#vani.key
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It's interesting to learn about identity disturbance with BPD because it really starts to explain everything. If your entire sense of self is held up by external sources (aka your friends! your environment!), then so many other things start to make sense. Like, for example, if your opinion on a character or a movie doesn't match your friend's opinion, then that's two parts of your identity contradicting each other!!! It's literally going to cause you cognitive dissonance! No wonder it's so distressing to me when that happens!!! 😖
Or another example!!! The clinginess omg. You realize it's because you practically have NO boundaries whatsoever. You've practically been begging your friends to inhabit your fucking body lmao. And obviously people can't do that (for one, physics.... but for another, people got their own bodies to deal with lol). So when they inevitably aren't around, it's like the driver of the vehicle you're a passenger in just passed out unexpectedly. No wonder you're trying everything you can to get their attention lmao — they gotta wake up and drive!!!! 😱
It's also really interesting when you start to try to develop your sense of self (in DBT, it seems to be worded as "self respect"? I could be wrong though). Like, you've spent most of your life not knowing who you are or what you want/need. And the SECOND you find that one little decision you can make for yourself? That one little kernel that's you and nobody else? Well, suddenly it's like you've got the crown jewel (XD) in your hands and the world seems to transform into this armada of invaders trying to take it from you. Like bruh. Step away. This is ME i've got here, and I'm not letting her go without a fight lmao. (Narrator voice: but no one is actually fighting her...... lol)
Anyway I feel bad for ppl who learn all this in less-than-ideal circumstances because like... I think a lot of people would probably get confused/upset/angry at the change in behavior (like someone is going from doormat people-pleaser to some sort of Napolean Boneapart world-conquerer type lol). So damn, I'm super grateful because I've been getting needlessly feisty about wanting some autonomy lately, and pretty much everyone I know has been super supportive and encouraging about it???? And that's really neat. 🥰 -feels very loved-
Anyway this has been a Ramble sorry. I just feel really good about things I've decided to do to improve myself lately, and I wanted to share lmao. I still haven't started writing as much as I had hoped I would, but like.... I'm starting to feel like ME, and I'm really happy about it. :)
#i hope this made any fucking sense whatsoever lmao#this is the most i've ever rambled in a tumblr post#i mean like i ramble and i talk for years but i usually try to be SOMEWHAT coherent lmao#i just thought dumped here#personal#bpd posting#my tag for this because i'm sure i'll have things to say again#kb post
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also! i showed my mom fade to black and she actually liked it.
#desperately in the process of trying to get my mother back into metal specifically because i want someone i can ramble about it to#i've mentioned this before - she used to listen to metal when she was like seventeen. which is thirty three years ago#she currently dislikes most metal (she prefers rock now)‚ but i will change that i swear. i need her to listen intently when i talk#about metal.#she liked fade to black as it is rather softer than most the metal i usually listen to. this is the second metal song i've shown her that#she's actually enjoyed! which is progress‚ i suppose.#the other one was this means war by A7X.#she used to really like metallica‚ so im not surprised she enjoyed this one.#🌙rambling
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I need 2 vent
#bruh this girl is SO annoying and god i just find her pathetic at this point#she acts like an edgy anime character and that everhthing is agaisnt her even when its her decisions that she chooses that fucks shit up#last year she obvi never liked me and made it everyones problem. literally slamming doors and shit like a child#and now that she is pres of. Anime club she thinks she has some sort of power over me?? absolutely laughable#and she cant even talk to me. like i didnt have any problems with her last year but she insisted i did and caused a split in the group#and so now she uses her partner as some messenger ehich pissed me off even more. like really.#and shes trying to get me kicked off the eboard cuz i value school over a hobbies club????#literally made an attendance rule because she was pissed i go to math tutoring during club even tho i went to meetings and shit. not like#she ever even gave me any responsibility because she is too childish to handle shit like an adult#also....if i get kicked off. its anime club 💀#sorry but thats just so funny to me lmaooo#Like she thinks she has any power over me in absolutely any way....it's very funny to me#oh well she'll have her little power trip and then go complain to anyone who will listen#this sounds mean because i am being mean. i usually always try to be nice but god she has taken this shit too far#annoying ass little kid. i dont have tike to deal with her made up rivalry with me#just literally leave me alone i dont care about you. im annoyed i have to even think about her again. shes such a manipulative asshole#well whatever that got that oit of my system. until tomorrow#rants#vent#rambles
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There's smth rly fun abt having stories based off of dreams because you just have a bunch of dream based worldbuilding that you just sorta have to work with now. Like oh a ring of infinite dragons run through the earth eternally consuming eachother? Guess I have to explain that now. Also that's sick as hell why didn't I think of that while awake
#rat rambles#oc posting#that damn dream story has captivated me deeply every since Ive had it even if I havent rly done much with it#I have been brainstorming some stuff relating the worldbuilding today tho#mostly what the actual deals of two main characters are#aka grim and the unnamed doggy#because Ive taken stabs at explaining them a couple times but have never rly landed on anything I rly care for#and theyre like The reason this dream stuck with me so hard so that is important#long story short theyre both god created beings that have been in a eternal brawl for what for them has been about 5 years for them#externally its been much much longer since anytime one of them successfully defeats the other they both go dormant for abt 50 years#they dont feel any of that bonus time tho so for them theyve been at this for ages with little to no break#grim usually wins since she was specifically trained to be the victor of the two everytime#but she isnt guaranteed a win by any means and has lost at least once#she likes to not think abt those times tho and pretend they never happened because if she acknowledged them then shed have to think through#the implications of that and she does not have the emotional or mental stability to be able to handle that#shes like. 16 to be clear.#the dog is about 21 or so Id say? Im still figuring things out so idk for sure yet#the basic premise of the story is that after so long of fighting they've both been gradually getting weaker and more exhausted each time#and after one iteration where they were both fighting high in the sky the two in the next iteration find themselves fallen very far apart#grim spends the story trying to find the dog and accidentally getting adopted along the way#and the dog ends up allowing some children to take them home so they can hide and recover and they end up getting attached#it's mostly just abt the two learning to exist as individuals and not weapons and finally beginning to process the trauma this whole cycle#has left them with and eventually breaking the cycle and chosing to stay with their respective new families#this was all stuff that was actually like in the dream which is why it stuck with me so hard but also that dream was mean to me for#dropping all of that and only giving one character a name. god.#tbf its kind of made up for by it being in like the coolest scene in the dream since it was grim naming herself that while talking to the#dog at the end since she had been referred to as a grim reaper or as just a reaper in the dream before that point so it was like a moment#of defiance and also claiming an identity for herself that wasnt just her title#shes a silly billy she also has a scythe that can shoot lasers
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as a fellow introvert; we are social creatures. introverts who purposefully see no one for months on end are usually just in a cycle where its been so long since they’ve hung out that it’s too intimidating for them to do anymore. i 100% feel tired after hanging out with my friends but i DO also feel happy and refreshed! tl;dr - you’re super normal lol. try to reach out to a couple people just to chat this week <3
thanks for reaching out I really appreciate it❤️ but I have to rant a bit. I allow you to ignore it!
I wish to not be a social creature because going too long without having a friend to talk to or not having someone to talk with almost daily feels bad and it's so hard to have a friend when I need one D:
i've been reaching out to people for the last few weeks or so but they don't reach back. try playing games with people but they play with their other friends or dont feel like playing. invite people to hang out but they say maybe and never give an answer or don't respond.
I don't want to bother my closest friends in our group chat too much in our group chat but the chat is mostly me sending messages with no response and even couple times saying I need a friend when I was having bad days but they didn't want to chat and I dont want to force anyone to entertain my lonely depressed ass. (especially when all I really needed was to talk about the new star rail stuff to distract me but I don't think they've finished it yet so I don't want to spoil) they live together so they always have to socialize and probably make each other tired without needing to add me to it.
so i've also been trying to reach out to new people, like joining twitch chats again for the first time in years. but that never goes well and doesn't satisfy my social needs. too many people talking at once and being the new person no one cares about and all....getting to know a new is very exhausting. but it's so hard to just be able to skip all that getting to know each other stuff jump straight into talking about a thing we both like (in this case it's star rail and cosplay and maybe art) I don't have enough already-known people to reach out to and i'm too tired to do the small talk dance until it's appropriate to jump into special interest territory. being autistic is so exhausting. I with to be one of those rare autistics I sometimes hear about that have 0 interest in social interaction at all
so as you can see, i'm trying. so hard. to the point I'm exhausting myself. it's been too much work for no payoff and makes things feel worse when the outcome isn't what I need and its constant reaching with no one grabbing my hand back. so I keep making annoying tumblr posts about it. i'm so sorry to anyone that reads my nonsense 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 this is a normal thing with me but it's usually kept to my other blog that's reserved for more serious posts like this but I tried posting here as a way to "reach out" and see if it invites any friendly friends or something but I don't think i'm doing it right...
(but I am going to a con tomorrow with someone I haven't talked to in like 2 years. but we don't have anything in common anymore so theres not much to talk about. he's the only person who responded to me after trying to reach out for like a month but I fear it will only exhaust me being around too many people and not help this gross need to have a deeper connecting socialization D:)
#i dont know how to ask for attention without asking for attention because attention seeking is bad and annoying#the more needy and annoying you come off the more people will ignore you. saying i need someone to talk to or hang out with gets me ignored#but being vague gets me also ignored???? like just trying to start a convo by throwing things out randomly doesnt work either#so if i cant be direct or indirect or invite people or ask to be invited or anything else ive tried ehst do i do?#how do i satisfy this stupid social need im cursed with? it takes me a month or 3 to recover from socializing so its not like i always ask#but its still too much. and “you need to find the right people” isnt helpful. because how!!! ive been looking for that for 30 years lmao#i just need someone to invite me and always invite me every time and always reach out first every time (well not every time. just dont make#me be the one every time because thats how it usually seems to go)#but no one wants to do the work and tell me when its ok to bother them. if i bother someone too many times in a row and get no response#then i will stop and wait. and wait. and wait. and give up eventually. or after certain amount of rejections i give up.#so that i dont come off as needy and attention seeking and obnoxious. if people want me they can come to me. and when no one does#that just feels bad. i hate that it feels bad. i wish to make that stop. i wish to turn off feelings.#i cannot figure out the line between bothering someone too much or just enough. how much am i required to push people#and how much is too much where i snap the line while trying to reel them in? because ive snapped more times than ive caught#or the bait just gets completely ignored and i get bored of waiting#oops im slipping into metaphor territory now. that means its time to stop saying words.#hopefully no one reads my annoying tags. i just needed a free space to ramble and vent amd tags are lile little whispers to do that in#but also it is autism acceptance month. people should be adopting a local autistic(me) person to show them what having friends is like#lee rants#im being super particular about how i need to socialize right now as well. dont want trauma bonding/life talks/depression sharing type stuff#only want special interest light hearted goofy fun talks. but those are so hard to do. its easy for people to default into doom conversation#but its hard to keep them on my topic of interest and to stay positive 😭
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Hello!!!! I was wondering if you could write an angst with Ghost/Simon where the reader was too clingy after having a bad day and he lashed out on her but he didn't think anything of it because the next day the reader was acting normal. He only noticed after a few weeks when reader became more distant and quiet. Feel free to ignore if it's too weird or you don't like it!!! ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
this one is dedicated to all the ones who were hurt and never got that apology. hope this alleviates the pain.
simon "ghost" riley x gn!reader || masterlist || request rules
-there was no one specific reason as to why today turned out to be a bad day. it just was.
-from accidentally burning yourself trying to make breakfast after waking up late to having to deal with the most insufferable customers, it just wasn't your day today.
-but it was okay, because you had simon to return to when everything was said and done.
-the frown on your face immediately softens the moment you see him walk through the door to your shared home. as soon as he pulls his mask and boots off, you make your way toward him and engulf him in a tight hug.
-you are painfully (but understandably) unaware of the thin veil of his patience and the frustration that had been brewing within him in the past few hours. he half-heartedly returns the embrace.
-"how was your day, si?" you ask him gently.
-"fine," he responds shortly, hoping there isn't more to the conversation.
-even after you pull away from him, you trail behind him as he moves around the house. this wasn't irregular behavior from either of you. simon wasn't usually the most talkative person in the room, anyway, but he loved to hear your voice. that was one of the things he loved about the two of you together; you filled the space he couldn't.
-today, though, was different. he was pissed off at all different kinds of people. for some reason, couldn't bring himself to tell you that he was having a bad day and needed some space, especially because it was evident you were having a bad one yourself.
-so when he turned on his heel after listening to your rambles for as much as he could take and lashed out at you, he tried not to think about the unbearable amount of guilt seeping into his veins.
-"would you just stop clinging to me for five minutes? god, 's like i can't get away from you or your constant fucking talking!"
-you had heard stories, mostly from simon, about the kind of man he could be when pushed to his limit. mostly, it was of violent, physical acts when it came to work or protecting the ones he loved. other times, he would tell you about when he'd lash out at others just like he did to you, now, and he always told it to you with a quiet fear. there was an unspoken meaning to him telling you about the times he's acted out: i don't want to do the same to you. i don't want to hurt you.
-but here he was, towering over you with a coldness in his eyes and a dryness in his throat from the sheer volume of his words.
-averting your gaze from his, you let out a meek, "'m sorry," and watch as he slams the door in front of your face.
-when he slinks into bed next to your sleeping form later that night, ridden with shame and guilt, he misses the tear-stained face hidden from him. after his outburst, you felt like all of the energy in your body had been taken away from you and retreated to bed early. you cried on and off for hours.
-you always thought you had a clinging problem. it was an insecurity you carried with you starting from childhood. friends would become acquaintances and family would keep you at arms-length. after years of believing the issue was you, simon walked into your life and told you different.
-if you stopped talking because you thought he stopped listening and was uninterested, he'd always turn back to you and genuinely ask why you stopped talking. whenever you apologized for hugging him for too long or asking to spend time with him for the third time that week, he'd always tilt his head at you and say in that low, sincere voice, "but i love you?"
-for all those reasons, you tried to give him the benefit of the doubt despite how much he hurt you. so, when he tries to bring it up the next morning, you do your best to brush it off. he was having a bad day. that was all. no need to make a fuss.
-"listen, love," he calls to you as you pop your piece of toast out of the toaster. "about last night-"
-completely disregarding his words, you look at the clock and stuff your phone into your pocket. "it's fine. honestly, simon," you tell him with the best smile you could muster. "i'm gonna be late. i'll see you tonight."
-you were so adamant on getting out as quick as possible that simon had no time to respond. he thought to himself that maybe he was making a bigger deal out of it than you. maybe there were no hard feelings and you were completely fine. after all, he was always overly worried for you, anyway.
-so, when you came home, he didn't mention it. it was as if last night didn't happen, and the two of you were perfectly fine. there were times where simon thought you were being a bit more restrained in your movements or words, but he tried to chalk it up to just him being overly paranoid. you said it was fine, so it was better not to push you on it, right?
-at first, you were doing really good at keeping yourself from overthinking the situation. however, as time went on and you paid more attention to how you acted around your boyfriend, you began to wonder if you were really that clingy.
-as the week progressed, your state of mind would deteriorate. what if it wasn't just a bad day? what if that was what he thought the entire time and was just waiting for the right moment to tell you? had he just been trying to cheer you up about your insecurities the entire time? and if he was, how much of this relationship was even real, then?
-the more you thought about it, the more distant you became. the last thing you wanted to do was make simon feel like he was being suffocated by you. you slowly stopped initiating physical affection with him, restricted talking about your day to a few sentences, and tried to answer simon's questions in one word when possible.
-he notices. of course he notices, it was like a stranger was living where you were supposed to be, and he missed it. he missed you.
-he asks you about your change when you're getting ready for bed, pulling the rest of your nightshirt over your head. despite being exhausted from work and looking like you were sitting out in the wind, he thought you never looked more ethereal than you did now.
-"(y/n)," he said.
-"hm?" you hummed to him, not turning toward his direction. you sat down on the edge of your side of the bed, turning off the lamp at the same time.
-your lack of emotional presence was starting to eat at him. he sat down next to you, the mattress dipping beneath his weight and forcing you to lean toward him.
-"you alright?"
-"yes. why?"
-"i dunno, you just seem..." his eyes tried to find yours, but you couldn't bring yourself to meet his gaze. "quiet."
-it was then that you looked at him, and it was scary to simon because he couldn't make out the emotion in your expression. there was nothing he could read.
-"isn't that-" you had to pause to try and stabilize your wavering voice. "isn't that what you wanted?"
-there was a tension-filled silence that settled in the room, and for a second you were worried that what you said was somehow incredibly offensive.
-finally, he chokes out, "i'm sorry."
-again, you try to muster up a smile. "it's fine, i already told you. i should've known you wanted space."
-"no."
-"no?"
-"it was my fault," he explains. "how could you 'ave known? i didn't tell you i wasn't in the mood that day, and that's not even considering the way i talked to you. i shouldn't have- nothing excuses what i said to you."
-still, you were convinced you were to blame. "well, i have a history of being clingy, so," you were trying to come up with more excuses for him. for most of your life, you had decided that you were the issue. it couldn't be any other way, right?
-"i know. it's one of the things i love you for," he says quietly. "not to sound cheesy but it's what makes you you, and i don't want you to lose that jus' 'cause i'm still shitty at communication."
-you knew in some capacity he was right. there was no excuse for how he talked to you, but the next words you wanted to say evaded you.
-simon thought about talking some more. instead, he grasped your back with one hand and slid his other underneath your legs, repositioning you on his lap. it was like a silent plea from him, a way of proving that he wanted to be close to you just as much as you wanted to be close to him.
-"you're sure i'm not too clingy?" you ask tentatively.
-"positive," he reassures you, rubbing small circles on your back with his thumb. "you wanna know something?"
-"what?"
-"if i wasn't so fucked up-"
-"you're not fucked up."
-"right." you never let him talk badly about himself. that was something he was still getting used to after all this time. being loved and learning to love himself. "well, if i didn't grow up the way i did and became the person i am, i'd probably be way clingier than you."
-"that's impossible," you deny, unconsciously letting yourself lean into his touch.
-"you don't know how much i want you. if my mind and body would let me, i'd be close to you all the time, showing you the attention you deserve."
-"you give me plenty."
-"agree to disagree," he stops with the circles and pulls you impossibly closer to his body. "but 'm trying. 'm trying to learn to let you love me and to not be afraid to love you. 'm sorry, love. i stopped trying that night, and i think it'll be the death of me."
-you let his words sink in, a thoughtful look on your face.
-"next time you'll tell me, right? what you're thinking?"
-"pinkie promise," he agrees, letting the hand under your legs slide out and raise his pinkie finger toward you.
-in return, you link your pinkie with his to seal the promise, and it feels as though the heavy tension in the air has cleared away.
-"i love you," he says, feeling bold from his previous admission.
-"i love you, too." there's that smile on your face. he never realized until now how he probably couldn't live without it.
-he kisses you on the lips, and for a moment the two of you just stay there in each other's arms, forgiving the past, healing the present, and dreaming of the future together.
#call of duty imagine#call of duty x reader#cod x reader#cod imagine#cod mw x reader#simon riley imagine#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley imagine#simon ghost riley x reader#ghost x reader#ghost imagine#simon riley x you#simon ghost riley x you#ghost x you#cod angst#call of duty angst#simon riley angst#ghost angst#cod hurt/comfort#simon riley hurt/comfort#cod fluff#call of duty fluff#rarawrites
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Cherry Bomb - tattoo parlor au
MDNI | poly 141 x fem fat reader | masterlist
Part 8: Nobody’s Son, Nobody’s Daughter
You hate how weak you are, sometimes.
That a text can ruin your whole day.
>> Hey. I hope you’re doing well. I miss hearing from you.
You’re fuming. Absolutely fuming. In under fifteen seconds you’re on your feet, face hot and heart pounding as you stomp across the old wooden floor.
“I’ll be right back.” You grunt to Johnny and Kyle, ignoring their wide, confused eyes and fast walking past them and out the back door.
The sun is up for longer now, only just beginning to set. It’s hot and hard to breathe, which only makes you more pissed off. Your skin prickles and blood rushes in your ears. You hate the way your hands shake. Your boot connects with the dumpster hard. It hurts, but you’re too pissed to really care. You just need it out of your system - the metal sending a ringing, gong-like sound bouncing around the back alley as you repeatedly slam your foot into it.
How dare he?
Miss hearing from you? YOU?
He ignores you for your whole childhood and teenage years - didn’t even try - and he misses hearing from you!? Couldn’t ever remember your age or grade when you did see him and he hopes your doing well!? Blew you off for his other kids for years and he fucking misses you!
How the hell did he even get your new number? Your mom, probably. The traitor. Fuck.
“Think that bin’s ‘ad enough, bird.” Simons voice startles you. He glances down at the dent you somehow managed to make. Your foot throbs when you put it back on the ground, shifting your weight onto the other one. One of your toes is bleeding, you think. You hand feel it soaking into your sock.
You look away, face hot from embarrassment now. “Didn’t know anyone was out here…”
Simon takes you in for a moment. Usually you don’t mind it - his intense silences - but right now it feels like being dissected. Like he’s pulling your skin back to reveal that squirming, tar-like creature aways simmering just a layer beneath. The pathetic little worm you try so hard to cover with a functional facade.
“Smoke?” He tilts the pack toward you. You wrinkle your nose - it’s a shit brand - but at the moment you wouldn’t care if it was made of actual shit as long as it had nicotine.
You pick one out and plop down on the weird curb that lines the opposite side of the alley. Simon sits beside you, raising his lighter toward you cupping his hand around the little flame to light your cigarette. It’s intimate, in a way, and if you had the emotional elasticity for it you might have blushed.
“Wanna talk about it?” He asks after a few drags.
You shrug. “Dads suck.”
Simon hums. “That they do.”
“It’s just like-“ You make an exasperated sound and run your fingers through your hair. “Like if you’re not around for fuckin’ twenty years, you don’t get to act upset when I don’t want to talk ever. Just because now I’m the one that set the boundary. It’s stupid. It’s mean.”
Simon nods along as you ramble, your voice trailing off eventually. You both sit there quietly, for a moment. This is the type of silence that you don’t mind. Enjoy, even. Just existing together. At first you thought he hated you, or just didn’t like much of anybody, but you’ve come to theorize that he’s the same as you. That he gets stuck in his head, too. It’s nice, having someone to sit with without the need to entertain them. To preform.
Your lip quivers even as you attempt to stop it by sinking your teeth in. A killing blow. It doesn’t work. You bury your face in your hands. “I don’t know why I’m crying…”
“Because you’re hurt.” Simon bluntly replies. It’s soft, though. As soft as a voice like his can be.
“He doesn’t deserve it.” You sob, messily wiping at your eyes. Your eyeshadow is probably smudged to hell now but you can’t bring yourself to care. Hopefully the others don’t ask about it.
An arm wraps around you, tucking you close. The surprise of it almost knocks you out of your crying fit entirely. Simon isn’t touchy. With anyone. He doesn’t look at you, just keeps his eyes forward while he takes a long drag, but that arm remains around your shaking shoulders with you pressed to his side.
It’s quiet, as it usually is when you close up with just Simon. The others took off for the night. Johnny said something about a date before dragging Kyle off arm in arm. They must have set up some kind of double date for the evening. John’s last appointment had to reschedule so he knocked off early as well. It’s nice, really, to be alone in the shop with Simon. He lowers the music, helps you with sweeping and the trash. Tells you the newest joke from wherever the hell he gets them. Popsicles, you think, based on his sweet tooth and the quality of pun.
“C’mon. We’re takin’ a field trip.” Simon tilts his head toward the street past the turn to your apartment. He still insists on walking you home, even if the sky is still relatively bright.
You look up, frowning. “Where?”
“You’ll see.”
You follow him down the quiet street. It’s warm and muggy as you go. You keep glancing up at Simon, waiting for some sort of tell. Some hint at where he’s leading you. In the back of your mind, you become innately aware that Simon is probably the only man you’d follow this blindly.
You nearly knock into him when Simon comes to a sudden stop. “Here.”
You look up, squinting at the tacky sign in what you can only describe as “intense manly man” font. Bold, blocky letters in bright orange with faux cracks scattered through the letters.
TANTRUM TANK
A mixture of stunned and curious leaves you quietly following Simon in. You press the spot between your brows to dissipate the confused frown. The lobby is pretty basic with a few decorations that mimic the style of the sign. Cracked facades and black walls. The room is lined with plastic chairs and a couple safety posters reminding patrons not to hit each other with the bats. A large television screen flashes between images of people in hazmat suits smashing various garbage and debris, pausing on a menu of times and prices.
“Simon!” A man appears behind the counter, face bright. “Here for your usual hour?”
Simon steps up to the counter, nodding in your direction. “Actually, I’ve got a plus one.”
The man’s brows raise and he looks you over, giving you ashort, polite greeting. You nod and smile back, pretending like you know why you’re here at all. You just watch as Simon briefly chats with the clerk who obviously knows him well. He’s a regular here, then. He doesn’t give anything away, just makes some brief, perfunctory small talk before taking a key and waving you after him. Why’d he bring you here, of all people?
Your heart skips at the thought of Simon wanting to do something with you, though. He brought you here because he wants to hang out - in his own way. He must do this with the other boys, too. Maybe one of them bailed on him or something. Part of you wonders if he didn’t want to come alone, but that doesn’t sound like him. Plus, you can’t say that its’ at all out of character for him to decide something and just do it with no other communication. You also can’t say you mind much. Not with him.
“You come here with the others a lot?” You ask as you follow him back to the room.
“No.”
You frown. Oh.
The two of you lapse into silence as you put your things away into designated lockers. There’s a sort of interim room before the actual rage room with storage and a few stacks of protective gear in various sizes. Simon’s quick about it. Practiced. He slips on the protective plastic suit quickly while you grunt and struggle with unfolding it. Your hair crinkles with static as you finally get the mass of plastic unfurled and step into it. Of course the one that fits you around is too damn long. At least the gloves fit.
“Simon?” You murmur, finally finding your voice - as weak as it comes out. “Why’d you bring me here?”
He looks you over for a moment with that same steady gaze as before. You’ve never felt seen like you do with Simon. Even with the others… they don’t see to the core of you like he does. Maybe that’s just wishful thinking. Some pathetic little part of you left over from your misunderstood teenage years.
“I ’ad a pretty shite father.” Simon says as he zips up his suit. “Taught me a lot of anger. I didn’t- I don’t want to be like ‘im. Don’t want people t’be scared…”
You stare, wide eyed, frozen in place. As if any movement would disrupt this new found honesty - would frighten the man away from confiding in you. It’s sudden and far more than you’ve gotten out of him in the months you’ve known each other. It’s too special to risk.
“Sometimes you’ve got t’get it out of your system. Better than breaking your foot on a skip.” He snorts, stepping forward and carefully pushing a pair of safety glasses over your eyes. One hand runs over your hair just for the briefest moment; another lightly pats your cheek before he turns on his heel, grabbing one of the bats hanging on the wall and making for the door.
You stare after him, shell shocked by both the admission and uncharacteristic physical touch. You involuntarily reach up to trace your fingertips over the cheek he touched.
Don’t want people to be scared…
A part of you breaks in the back of your mind. The obvious, unsaid ‘of me’ sits heavily on your tongue. Some distant image of what he might have looked like as a child. Small and blonde with those big dark eyes… You gulp down a tight breath and follow after him, just a little too close to crying at the implication.
Simon gestures toward a crooked, half broken office desk. “Ladies first.”
And oh, if that first swing wasn’t the best release you’ve had in a long, long time.
A/N: Sorry for being inactive the past couple weeks, I could literally write a novel with how much as happened irl🙃
Anyhoo next part y’all are getting lots of Price because that homecoming skin has got me fucked up
#simon ghost riley#john soap mactavish#captain john price#kyle gaz garrick#poly 141 x reader#poly 141#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost x reader#ghost x reader#john soap mctavish x reader#captain john price x reader#kyle gaz garrick x reader#call of duty#cod#cod x reader#plus size reader#fat reader#fem reader#ghost cod
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UPDATE What's up, it's the proposal guy. You said you wanted to know how this turned out, so I figured I'd tell you. First some context though, because I'm mean and I wanna keep you in suspense longer.
1- I don't wanna doxx us so I'm not telling you where we live, but suffice to say, neither of us are American, and gay marriage has been legal here for less than five years. For both of us, this is the first relationship we've had where marriage was even an OPTION, and I think that's where we've been getting some of that whole 'this has to be a REAL proposal with EVERYTHING' idea.
2- I gotta figure out how to explain this properly. So, I'm pretty used to being the GUY guy in relationships? I was always the one who did the nice gestures, not the one they got done for. Before I met my dream guy, I didn't really notice or care that it was such a thing, I just assumed that's how shit worked. Also, I promised I wouldn't talk a lot about his stuff here, but his last boyfriend before me SUCKED. Anyway point here is, it turns out we both REALLY like feeling swept off our feet sometimes, and a big part of finding each other has been getting to feel special for once? That's a stupid sappy way of putting it the point here is I think all that's what morphed into "I need to be the one getting proposed to, also it has to be completely perfect", and then our Petty & Extra genes got involved.
So I'm sitting in bed thinking about all that up there, and watching all the comments coming in basically being like "Dude, you are BLOWING this" on repeat, and telling me to compromise, and I look up and see him flossing in the bathroom and making all these doofy faces at the mirror, and it's like a switch just flips in my brain, and I'm like "Oh, I'd rather he gets to have his perfect proposal than we both have an okay one". I'm gonna do it.
Morning rolls around, and while I'm 'out for my jog like normal' I hit up a pawn shop for a temp ring (the ring pop thing is cute but NOT HIM). I found one I was at least confident wouldn't get ruined the first time he got his hands greasy (he fixes old machines as a hobby it's hot as hell), got back home, and hid the box in the toe of my nasty ass workout shoes in the bedroom closet, since I figured he'd check there last.
He was still asleep, because he stays up late no matter what and then is SHOCKED he's tired the next day, so I called and booked a table at our usual anniversary spot. (Side note about the 'he picks bad restaurants' thing. This isn't an 'I like Greek, you like Chinese' situation, dude's just BAD at finding places. He either assumes pricey is tasty and I get to eat some overrated gourmet bullshit, or he'll try and find something hip and underground and risk giving us food poisoning again, and he REFUSES to give up and pick somewhere we've been before when it's his turn to plan date night. I'm obsessed with him <3.) Date was set, I'd propose on the 21st.
Some of you might have noticed this, but fun fact! It's currently the 16th.
Last night I'm doing dishes and he's been sent to our room for mug collection duty, and he's taking FOREVER, so I go check just in case he found the ring, because the man's a gift tracking BLOODHOUND. Turns out he hasn't, he's found my Angry Box.
I assume other people have an Angry Box? Basically, we had this huge messy fight right when we first moved in together, and I never wanna let it get that bad again, so I have this shoebox where I keep a bunch of our stuff I can look at if we're fighting and hopefully cool off. There's one of those photo booth roll things, letters we wrote when he moved back with his parents for COVID, the wine cork from our first date, shit like that. Anyway, he's just sitting on the floor staring at it, and I explain about the Angry Box, and then he! Proposes!!! Kind of.
He definitely didn't have anything prepared, because by 'propose' I mean 'ugly cried & rambled at me for several minutes before I figured out it WAS a proposal', but once I got on the same page it was amazing. I said yes, and he had to admit he didn't have a ring for me because he was CONVINCED he'd win and I'd do it, so I grabbed mine because, yeah, he was right. He was like "this is the ugliest ring I've ever seen" and I was like yeah well the plan is to replace it later and he went "No. You can pry this off my cold dead fingers. After I'm buried with it." So I guess it's not a temporary ring anymore.
I'm just gonna go ahead and skip to this morning. I pointed out we still have the reservation, and he said I should propose there anyway because "We can get a free dessert. They have those creme brulee shot glasses you like. And for love, or something" and I said ok deal, but that means you gotta get me a ring to keep it fair, and his eyes LIT UP. When I swung by his work for lunch he was still on the phone with a jeweler and he had a whole page of notes on three other ones. Pray for me.
OH PS: I was RIGHT that he'd been the one behind the cat biting me, but it wasn't about the proposal stuff, it's because I paid my baby sister three dollars to shout 'fuck you' every single time he enters a room she's in for (if you ask me, he should be madder at my sister for charging so little), and he did it by giving her a bunch of treats for biting his hands too, so now neither of us can pet our baby girl without oven mitts on. HOLY SHIT I love this man.
Oh my goddddddd I love everything about this <333 I awwww'd out loud on a voice call, like, six times while reading. You two are friggin perfect for each other and so obviously smitten with each other and I wish y'all all the happiness in the world
PS Are y'all planning to have a big wedding? If so oh boy I can't WAIT to get that one in the inbox
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The shitty lungs curse is spreading to my mutuals... run everyone (if your lungs will let you)
they never tell you abt The Skeleton's Curse (bone pain)
#I used to get those random stabbing pains really often I know exactly what you're talking about#they just leave you standing there like 0_0 no breathing allowed! not for that time#I wish I could say if those should be a concern. my aunt got them all the time as a teen and she's fine so ┐•-•┌#still if you didn't get them very often in times were you were actually growing but it's rather frequent now... I'd try to look into it#just to be safe#maybe keep track of your symptoms; write every instance of that happening down so you can get an idea for how frequent it actually is#and yeah as much as I loathe going to the doctors; I still end up doing so several times a year#my body is getting up to too much strange crap not to and I gotta make use of that universal healthcare amirite#that one doctor /was/ upsetting to go to but you bet I never returned. just accepted the ridiculous wait times for a better one#happy to report the constant stabbing while trying to breathe in is mostly gone for now! after almost a week#now I'm only left with the usual inability to breathe in properly but at least it doesn't hurt. that's much easier to deal with#we all need to be taking better care of ourselves...#see for me the issue is that the moment a symptom is gone for a bit my brain is convinced I'm fine forever actually (it is mistaken)#and then I completely overestimate how much exertion I can handle (being stubborn doesn't help)#symptom flare up→ I'm forced to rest→ feel a bit better→ I think I can do the same things I could before all this started→ symptom flare up#rinse and repeat#maybe some day I'll learn#but I can't /not/ go hiking anymore... that activity means a lot to me. I'll have to figure something out#also dauntless this is for you specifically:#why are you doing the same stupid shit as me!!!#“don't overexert” isn't spelled lugging logs around in deep winter either!!!#be careful :(#but the hills really are fiends#it's a unique kind of frustrating when your muscles say “we can keep going!” only for the lungs to go “absolutely not”#and the mountains are my favourite place to go hiking in too...#all righty ramble over.
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Okay soooooooo
How bout something like King Steve picking on shy!reader, then later finding out she has a shitty home life plz
ty for requesting!! this can be read as a prequel to this fic — steve comforts you when he accidentally makes you flinch (enemies to lovers, hurt/comfort, cw for brief mentions of abuse, 1.8k)
Sitting alone at the Hellfire table, you feel a little like fishbait.
Your spot in the very back of the cafeteria is normally full and loud — with Dustin’s bickering, and Eddie’s laughing, and Gareth’s stupid jokes — but they’re not here now. They’re off getting their trays while you sit in wait for them (and the cold fries you’ll ultimately steal from Eddie’s plate). It leaves you perfect prey for circling sharks.
You hear laughter from behind you, over the sounds of the bustling lunch room. You’re certain they’re laughing at you — ‘cause you always think someone’s laughing at you — but you try hard to ignore it. You disregard the subtle pang of anxiety in your chest and stick your nose in your book, eyes flitting across the words without reading any of them.
Someone flumps down at your side then, where Mike usually sits. The overwhelming scent of spiced cologne stings your nostrils. With watering eyes, you look beside you. At Tommy fucking Hagan.
“Hey, Wallflower,” he greets like it’s normal — like he hasn’t spent the past four years pretending you don’t exist. You think he only calls you Wallflower now because his friends have been doing it for so long they don’t remember your real name.
The boy props his elbow on the table and puts his chin in his fist, trying hard to hide his boyish beam and accompanying laughter. He fails.
You cower at his presence, all but shrinking into yourself. “…Hi?” you reply in a tiny voice.
“How’s it hangin’?”
“...Fine?”
“That’s great!” he answers instantly, like he hadn’t heard you at all. “You see, my friend Steve, over there— you know him, right?”
You don’t bother to look where he’s pointing. Of course, you know Steve The Hair Harrington. You don’t think there’s a single person in Hawkins who doesn’t.
You nod in response.
Tommy’s smile widens. “Well, he’s got this massive crush on you,” he confesses, choking back a laugh halfway through. “I mean, he talks about you all the time.”
You know he’s lying. And not just because he’s grinning so hard that his eyes are crinkled and his freckled cheeks are turning pink. You’re almost certain Steve Harrington doesn’t even know who you are. He never had a reason to. Why would the King of Hawkins High ever stoop so low to know someone like you?
You glance at him over your shoulder, a couple tables down from you. He’s almost magnetically pretty. You couldn’t ignore him if you tried — with his pretty hair and his pretty eyes and his pretty smile. His golden cheeks flush as all his friends start poking fun at him.
He rolls his eyes and scoffs a laugh you can tell is forced from here. He doesn’t think any of this is funny. You can see it on his face. But he isn’t trying to stop it all from happening. You’re just collateral damage, really.
You turn back to Tommy with a disbelieving look in your eye.
He continues to ramble despite it. “He was just a little nervous coming up to you, that’s all. So I thought I’d do him a favor and slip you his number. You know, as his wingman and all.” He tosses a folded-up index card onto the pages of your opened book. “You should call him tonight— It’ll make his day, I swear.”
He pats you a little too hard on the back before he goes. His laugh echoes over all the rest when he sits back down at his table. You watch them over your shoulder as they fall over themselves to crack jokes about you.
Steve’s the only one not smiling. “Not cool, Tommy,” he mouths.
—————
Locker 148. The one right across from yours. Property of Steve The Hair Harrington.
You shove the thick card with his number written on it between the slits in the metal. You’d carried it around all day, utterly unsure of what to do with it. You decided ultimately to return it, figuring he might feel a little better if a total stranger didn’t have his phone number.
You struggle to slide it through the thin gap, though. The paper gets caught halfway through, and you try to yank it back out again. The old locker moves with you, like it’s not completely shut but still somehow latched.
You’re so in your own head you don’t hear the gymnasium door down the hall squeal open and shut again. Steve pants heavily and tries to recover from a ruthless basketball practice. He hunts for a water fountain and finds you instead.
“What are you doing?” he calls as he nears you, not malicious or unkind but genuinely curious.
Your heart lurches into your throat as you all but jump out of your skin.
Steve laughs, a pretty sound in the silent hallway. “Shit. Sorry. I didn’t— I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“You didn’t,” you assure with an averted gaze, though your frightened demeanor says otherwise. “I was just— I was trying to give you this.”
You hold the paper out towards him. He takes it with hesitant hands. “What is it?”
“Your number. Tommy gave it to me earlier, and I know it was just a stupid joke, so I… I thought you’d feel more comfortable if I gave it back to you.”
Something in Steve’s chest aches. He doesn’t understand why you would care about what might make him comfortable. It’s not like he ever gave you the time of day — or ever tried to stop his friends from being total assholes. As far as he’s concerned, you’re the last person who should give a shit about him.
“Oh. Right— Yeah… Thanks,” he stammers and shoves the thing into his pocket. “And I’m— I’m sorry about Tommy and everything. He can be a real douchebag sometimes. I didn’t… I didn’t tell him to bother you or anything—”
“I know,” you assure in a mousy voice. “Tommy gave me your number hoping I’d be dumb enough to call while your friends were over so you could all… laugh at me? I guess. He could’ve been a little more original, honestly.”
Steve cracks a smile. He almost laughs, but he can’t tell if you’re joking or not.
“I’ll talk to him later. Tell him to leave you alone—” He rambles and walks closer to you. You watch him with tentative eyes as he approaches. “—He’s a total dumbass sometimes, but he usually means well. Most of the time, anyway—”
Steve raises his hand suddenly. And, because you’re frightened by everything little thing, you flinch and stumble over yourself in the process. The lockers catch your fall, and you hit the back of your head. Hard.
“Shit— Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” you squeak, holding the crown of your hair and squinting as your skull pounds.
Steve rushes to your side, then idles just ahead of you because he doesn’t know if you want him touching you. His brows pinch, chiseled features swimming with concern. His cinnamon eyes glitter with it, too. “I wasn’t trying to scare you—”
“It’s okay.”
“—My locker was just jammed. I was going to shut it.”
The metal door is open now, from where it wasn’t shut all the way and where you just smacked your head on it.
“I just wasn’t expecting it,” you assure in a tight voice, trying hard to ignore the sharp throbbing. “It’s fine. I’m fine—”
“You’re hurt.”
“It’ll go away—”
“Let me get you an icepack.”
“—I’ll be fine once I get home.”
Steve, feeling purely at fault and aching at how effortlessly you shrug him off, decides to approach you fully. He curls a warm hand around the outside of your elbow. A touch surprisingly gentle. “No. C’mon. Let me help.”
You don’t feel much like you’re in any position to fight him about it. Not with the world still swaying under your feet.
Steve guides you the short distance to the empty cafeteria. Slow and kind and dreadfully patient. He sits you down, makes sure you’re still okay, and then rushes to fix you a makeshift icepack — a ziplock bag filled to the brim with chipped ice.
He sits at the chair beside yours, slightly askew so his knees bump your thighs. He holds the pack to the crown of your head and gazes at you attentively. You’re not looking back at him to see it.
“Does it still hurt?”
You shrug, eyes flitted to the wringing hands in your lap. “It’s fine. It just feels a little like I have a migraine.”
Steve winces. “I’m sorry.”
Your doe eyes peek at him from beneath your lashes. “It wasn’t your fault.”
“I scared you.”
“Everything scares me.”
It’s a dumb joke. You mean it, but you still expect him to laugh about it. He doesn’t even crack a smile, though. He just keeps looking at you with that puppy-like twist to his features. The worry is evident in his face.
“Do you wanna, like, talk about it or something?”
“About what?”
“Why you flinched.”
You freeze, breath hitching in your throat. No one’s ever noticed your incessant panic — outside of making jokes about it anyway. No one’s cared enough to ask about it, either. Steve Harrington is the last person you expected any kind of concern from.
You shake your head after a few long moments. “No.”
“You could,” Steve assures, suddenly shy. You didn’t know he could be anything other than totally full of himself. “You know, if you wanted to. I wouldn’t— I wouldn’t tell anyone—”
You scoff a disbelieving laugh.
Steve’s features swirl with hurt. You hate that it makes your chest ache. You hate most that he hasn’t stopped being soft with you. The hand holding the pack to your head hasn’t yet wavered, even though you know his arm must be tired now.
“I wouldn’t. ‘Cause I— I know what it’s like to… to have a bad home life or whatever,” he confesses, stammering hopelessly. He forces a laugh at himself. “Probably more than most people do, honestly.”
His admission takes you by surprise. It comforts you in a way you didn’t think someone like him could.
Even still, you shake your head. “I— I can’t—” you murmur, clearing your throat when the words get stuck there. “I can’t talk about it…”
Steve nods, firm and reassuring. “That’s okay. You don’t have to, I was just… I was just saying, you know? I get it.”
You swallow through a tight throat, nodding wordlessly in response.
“Plus, you know, you have my number and everything… If you ever wanted to talk…”
You flash him a timid look and crack a quiet smile. “I gave it back to you, remember?”
“I’ll write it down for you again,” he promises with a shrug and a lopsided grin. It’s easier to ignore his aching arm and the ice stinging his palm when he’s looking at you. “For real this time.”
#published by bug#steve harrington x reader#stranger things x reader#steve harrington x y/n#steve harrington x you#steve harrington#stranger things#stranger things imagine#stranger things fanfic#stranger things fanfiction#stranger things fic#steve harrington imagine#steve harrington fanfiction#steve harrington fic#steve harrington fanfic#st drabbles#stevie drabble#king!steve
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The long-awaited part 2 for ragdoll!reader.
I’ll be honest, I never intended for there to be another part, so I hope this is alright! I might add more in the future if the worms demand it, but for now let’s consider this the last part. Sorry!
If Price had any optimism that Ragdoll’s reaction to Konig was just a fluke - or perhaps some sort of initial, fleeting interest - he’s quickly proven wrong.
She’s utterly infatuated with him.
Constantly pressing herself close, rubbing her cheek against him and his clothes, bumping her head against his. She chirps and chitters and purrs at him, pupils blown out. Never seems bothered that he has trouble verbally responding; or seems to, though Johnny mentions they might be communicating at a frequency only cat-hybrids can hear.
Price has the briefest notion of keeping them separated. After all, Konig is a big combat placement that doesn’t seem much indulgent of his non-violent instincts. More human than cat - a complete opposite to their sweet companion kitty. It seems inevitable that something goes wrong and someone - likely the 141’s precious girl - gets injured. So naturally they try to keep the hybrids apart.
Try to coordinate schedules to keep her and Konig from passing each other, ending up in the same rooms or at the mess hall together.
It’s futile.
For one, she may be the sweetest little thing around, but she’s still a cat (or cat-hybrid anyway). There’s really no stopping her from going somewhere, especially on a base she’s had free run of for over a year already. Closed doors are blasphemy, and locks are a personal attack against her.
For two, her only job is to be a companion. She is not beholden to most military protocols like rank, SOPs, schedules, or duty. Meaning that, while she usually keeps to the 141’s routines out of desire to be with them, there’s nothing forcing her to follow along. Even as an emotional support placement, she isn’t required to be around them at any time; she always just wants to be. It’s why she’s so good at it.
And finally, mostly importantly here, there’s really just no telling her “no.”
Not with those big eyes that get so watery so fast. That sad curve to her mouth. The fucking mournful cries when she’s been denied and she doesn’t understand why - nor does anyone really have a good reason.
(“He’s twice your size” is apparently not a good reason. Neither is “he could crush your skull in one hand.”)
Worse still, it’s not even that she’s misbehaving as a reason to keep them separated.
While she does present more cat than human in a lot of ways, she understands English perfectly. She can read and even write if needed. Vocalizing human speech is beyond rare, but she has once or twice.
So she knows the hard and fast rules. Understands that she can’t interrupt drills or exercises. That there are regulations for the range should she ever venture out there. That she has to be quiet during briefings. And she does all of this - just while also being as close to Konig as possible.
She sits in the grass or on a perch watching the boys run and call to each other. And as soon as they’re done, she’s up and flitting to his side, head tilting this way and that. She shifts into her full-cat form during briefing to sit on his lap. Even follows him out to the range, lying in the grass next to him with tail swishing and headphones on, while he fires the rifle.
Never mind any free time.
Members of both their teams keep finding them cuddled up together all over the place. In the rec room on a couch, in patches of sun beneath windows, in the grass by the running tracks, even in Konig’s room on base. Most often with Ragdoll lying on him, plumed tail curled around his arm or leg while he rubs her back or ears.
Sometimes they hear him talking to her, low and quiet. She meows back on occasion, but he doesn’t seem to mind the lack of verbal response while he rambles.
And the first time anyone sees them wrestle is nerve-wracking. They hardly make a sound the entire time, rolling around on the floor in a tangle of limbs and fluffy tails. Konig always lets her win - even laughs when she gets her sharp little teeth in his arm. (It’s the first anyone on his team has heard him laugh like that and they’re a bit startled.) The entire 141 pretends not to be on high alert - except Johnny, who watches with ears perked, eyes darting between the two cats.
Price doesn’t know what to make of it. Of course he’s not upset that she’s connected with another hybrid. Johnny is usually the only one on base, and while they’re close, Price knows it probably isn’t the same as her own species.
That she’s so… preoccupied with Konig is, well.
“Is she… ya know…?” Gaz asks at one point.
When Price arches an eyebrow, he makes a vague, nonsensical gesture.
“In heat,” Gaz mumbles awkwardly.
“Shouldn’t be,” Price answers. “She has an implant.”
A hormone implant keeps a hybrid from going into mating cycles or getting pregnant - but it doesn’t stop them from bonding.
Kate is the one to bring up the possibility after speaking to her sister in law. Ragdoll spent time around other cat-hybrids before she was placed with the 141, but never reacted to them like she does to Konig.
It’s confirmed when TF-141 and the KorTac squad deploy for their mission. Ragdoll is near inconsolable. Not actively crying (most of the time) but lethargic and sad, with low appetite and lots of big, long sighs. Her ears never perk more than half-mast for the month they’re gone. Even taking her off-base back to Kate’s sister-in-law for a little while doesn’t seem to help.
The day they come back, she’s the most lively anyone’s seen in a month. Bounces between her four team members incessantly, checking that they’re okay, making little noises in the back of her throat. They happily drop kisses on her head, let her nuzzle up beneath their chins, hug her close. Rub at her ears and squish up her cheeks. Price even picks her up, rubbing his bristly cheek against her temple.
Then Konig steps out.
She wiggles, making a nervous, upset noise. Price sets her down and she bolts into Konig’s arms, crying loudly and pawing at his hood. And to everyone’s shock, he lifts it enough for her to wriggle under with him.
If there was any question that he felt the same way - it’s answered.
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promise me ice cream! - jeon wonwoo
warnings: slightly insecure wonwoo?
pairings: jeon wonwoo x reader
genre: drunk confessions, friends to ???
wc: 1.3k
a/n: I'm not quite sure what I did to deserve 223 of yall following me but thank you 🥺
drunken confessions series
check out my masterlist! // wonwoo's m.list
your best friend, wonwoo is sprawled on the bed, looking more like a puddle of drunk affection than his usual composed self. he's clinging onto you, he wedges your leg in between his own; hugging it like it was a bolster as his head rests on your lap as if it were a pillow, his arms wrapped around your leg, not wanting to let go as if it’s the only thing keeping him grounded. his gaze is hazy, eyes blinking slowly as he stares up at you, his lips curving into a drunken smile, “you're so pretty.” he says as you chuckle while you run your hands through his hair; messaging his head a little to relieve the potential headache.
“why'd you drink so much tonight?” you asked, “its not like you, you're not usually like this.” wonwoo lets out a deep sigh at your question, “you were talking to jun all night and…i dont know, i just didn't like it. i got jealous. it's like…you’ll never pick me.” he says with a pout, eyes closing shut. “jealous? of jun?” you frown, trying to make sense of his words. if only he knew, “don't be silly, you know i talk to jun all the time but you'll always be my best friend. there's nothing to be jealous about.” you reassured. “& i’ll always pick you.”
“you're breaking my heart.” wonwoo mumbles so soft, you almost would have missed it if it weren't for a drunk wonwoo clinging onto you for dear life, heightening all your senses & leaving your heart beating so fast. “what do you mean, wonwoo?”
"you’re my favorite person," he says, his voice soft and slow, like he’s trying to convince himself of something. "i don’t know if i’ll ever be your favorite, but... you're my favorite." his hand gently strokes the inside of your thigh, sending shiver down your spine. his fingers light against your skin as if he’s trying to memorize the feeling of being this close.
you smile as you feel butterflies erupt in your stomach. you’re a little amused yet also, a little taken aback by the way he’s acting; he's never been like this. you gently run your fingers through his hair, trying to coax him to sleep even though you're sure he’s already half asleep. & maybe you're also just taking advantage of the situation and being a little selfish; having him like this.
"i’m just me," he continues, voice drowsy and laced with alcohol. "i’m just wonwoo, you know? just regular, plain ol' wonwoo. but you're... you're perfect. sparkly. i don’t even know why you ever looked my way years ago, let alone be friends with me.”
you laugh softly, but it’s mixed with a hint of sadness, wondering how he could ever think that about himself. "you’re not just wonwoo, you know that, right? you’re more than that."
wonwoo shakes his head, but his grip on your leg tightens. "no, no, no. i’m just me. i’m just wonwoo, and you’re... you’re so pretty and you're so kind. you're such a good person...so much better than I'll ever be. that's why you would never like someone like me."
his words sting more than they should, but you can tell he's too drunk to mean them fully, right? that's what you hoped for at least. you want to tell him how wrong he is, how much you care for him, but instead, you sit in the quiet, letting him speak his mind as he clings onto you, his drunken ramblings the only thing filling the space between you two.
after a moment, he sits up a little, his gaze suddenly lighting up with a burst of energy. "ice cream," he says, as if it’s the most important thing in the world right now. "we should go on an ice cream date. right now. let’s go."
you glance at him, blinking in surprise at the sudden contrast. it’s already past 4AM and he’s drunk, this is not the time for an ice cream run date. "wonwoo," you say softly, trying to get him to focus. "it’s really late. we’re not going for ice cream right now, okay?"
he looks up at you with wide, sad, hopeful eyes, and you can’t help but find it endearing, even if it’s a little ridiculous. "why not?" he asks, his pout deepening, and his grip on your leg tightening again as he drags himself impossibly closer to you. "i want to go on an ice cream date with you, please?”
you laugh, though it's full of affection and fondness. "wonwoo, you’re drunk & it’s really late. we’re not going anywhere. you can’t go out for ice cream right now, I don't think you can even walk straight, did you forget how I had to haul you back here?"
he pouts even harder, his lower lip trembling slightly & he almost look as if he’s about to start crying any time as he sits back and crosses his arms, looking like a grumpy child. "but i want ice cream. now. i’m hungry."
you can’t help but smile at his stubbornness. "we’ll go tomorrow, okay?" you promise. "i’ll take you out on an ice cream date tomorrow. I'll even let you pick all the flavours you want, even if its 5 of them."
wonwoo tilts his head to the side, staring at you with a suspicious frown. "tomorrow? don’t lie…i’m only asking you now because… this is a dream, you wouldnt reject me in my dream, would you?" he asks, his voice filled with doubt. "because i know you won’t really take me for ice cream tomorrow when I wake up. you don’t like me like that. you’re just humoring me."
"wonwoo, i promise, tomorrow, we’ll get ice cream," you reassure him, your voice gentle and warm as you stroke his hair again, trying to comfort him.
but wonwoo still looks disappointed and doubtful, his shoulders slump. "tomorrow will never come. this is all a dream. you’ll wake up, and i’ll be... i’ll be just me. plain wonwoo. i won’t be good enough for you. you will never pick me.”
your heart aches at the way he’s talking. he doesn’t believe that you like him, doesn’t believe in this moment, in the promise of tomorrow. "wonwoo, i’m not going anywhere," you say, taking his hand in yours. "i'll be right here when you open your eyes when the sun rises & i'll tell you all the reasons why you're more than enough. i really do like you, I love you, and tomorrow, we’ll get ice cream. i promise."
he looks down at your hand, still not fully convinced. "promise?" he asks, his voice small and fragile.
"promise," you say firmly, hands finding his as you lock your pinky around his.
wonwoo hesitates for a moment, then sighs, his expression softening. "okay...okay," he murmurs, closing his eyes as he rests his head back on your lap, your hands instinctively go back to playing with his hair, he's completely content now. "ice cream date tomorrow. i’ll wait for tomorrow...even if it doesn't happen it's okay..at least im laying on your lap now…at least you’re playing with my hair now…at least now i know what it's like to hear you say you like me too.”
you smile, brushing a strand of hair out of his face, watching him drift off to sleep in your lap. even though he’s drunk and unsure, you know he believes you somewhere deep down. & tomorrow, you’ll take him for ice cream, just like you promised. and maybe, just maybe, tomorrow, he’ll realize how much you really do care about him, & how much you really do love him.
#seventeen#seventeen imagine#seventeen fluff#svt#svt fluff#svt x reader#svt angst#fanfic#seventeen x reader#jeon wonwoo#wonwoo seventeen#seventeen wonwoo#jeon wonwoo fluff#jeon wonwoo angst#jeon wonwoo imagines#jeon wonwoo fanfic#wonwoo x reader#wonwoo fluff#wonwoo angst#wonwoo imagines#wonwoo fanfic#wonwoo x you#wonwoo#jeon wonwoo x reader
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