#i mean it’s obviously so intense for so many people
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1) That's not classical conditioning. Classical conditioning modifies the reaction to a stimulus, not acted behaviors. If you're trying to change a child's behavior as you suggest, you're talking about operant conditioning.
Also, if you wouldn't do it to an adult you shouldn't be doing it to a child.
2) Yes, in all cases it's traumatic, as in it can create a trauma for the victim. You're acting like it's traumatic because of intensity and it's not, it's traumatic depending on how their developing brain interprets what happens. (but yeah, it's caused a ton of trauma too, and obviously so, you just aren't willing to acknowledge that it exists)
The action you're advocating is always the same, a caregiver inflicting harm on their child. If it doesn't traumatize the child, that doesn't mean you got the pressure right.
It means you got lucky.
That, in fact, is part of what all of this research is telling you and why people like fandomsandfeminism talk about this topic in the hopes it'll educate people.
You can come up with as many excuses as you like, but all of the research along with all of the lived experiences of the many people who have been traumatized by it prove that you're wrong.
3) Yes, you're still trying to defend your fear of failure. Otherwise you wouldn't be lobbying so hard to convince the rest of the world that it's okay to strike an innocent child.
You set stakes that you think make it acceptable.
Those stakes don't make it acceptable.
It's abuse just like other kinds of abuse inflicted on children. You aren't the arbiter of when it's an acceptable level of abuse or not, and exercising your power over a powerless child to do that is an extremely unethical way to behave.
But like fandomsandfeminism already said, you've made up your mind.
I just wanted to make your position clear for everyone else.
Don't hit your kids. It's not a hard lesson to learn.
When people get pregnant, they will give up smoking, give up alcohol, give up coffee and soda, give up fondue and raw cheese, give up cold cuts and sushi, all because they have heard somewhere, from someone, that these things can be bad for the baby. They don’t know the research, haven’t looked at the studies, can’t talk about sample sizes and control groups. But their dedication to their future child’s safety is so strong, their caution is so overpowering, that they give up these things just in case.
So it baffles me when those same people will insist on spanking their kids.
Even when they are shown the research.
Regardless of what the experts in the field say.
No matter who says it.
Or how it is said.
People are so invested in this ability to hit their kids without judgement or consequence, that it absolutely confounds me.
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I’ve been wanting to talk about how even Jinx is very ignorant, or just comes off as uncaring, to the extent of Vi’s trauma in regard to before her prison time and after. I’ve also always found it quite weird and unfunny how quick people were to make jokes and say that Jinx “clocked” Vi in the tunnels when they were searching for Vander and fought about what they were doing after all the time had passed.
Jinx has actively watched her sister lose herself for months without interference—with knowledge that she was thrown into Stillwater, facing things that Vi obviously isn’t going to be that vulnerable abt—knowing that they both share the intense childhood trauma of losing an entire family in one night, and still finding it within herself to make fun of Vi being passively suicidal is honestly horrible to me. Especially considering the position Jinx has nonstop been putting Vi in since they reunited. Yes, Jinx has been going through some traumatic things, but not once has she even stopped to think (that we’ve seen) of what her sister has been through for the past seven years. The guilt she must be harboring for things she should not have had anything to do with, or responsibility over.
There have been plenty scenes where Vi recounts bits and pieces of her experiences in Still and most times she not only downplays it for the sake of trying to help other people understand where her position on a situation is from, but goes unacknowledged. With Jayce, when she asks him if he knows what being trapped for days, months, or years in a stone box is like he changes the subject to talk about their plans to go against what the council thinks and be more active against Silco. And with Jinx, her own sister, it doesn’t go any further than Vi wanting to reassure her that she’s always been there thinking about her and hoping to someday find her way back. No one, even Ekko, truly tries to reach out to her in a way that validates her own trauma and how the many changes she’s been through so far is affecting her. It’s all about what she can do for them or what position she holds in their lives. And I don’t say that in a way of meaning that everyone should drop everything they’re doing to focus on her, but a little goes a long way. Vi speaking out about her own prison trauma in multiple conversations could be her subconsciously asking for someone to show her some support or care that she hasn’t been on the receiving end of in years. She’s Jinx’s family—her only family left really—and all Jinx does is constantly disrespect her and what she’s willing to do or put aside for her.
This is me ranting at 2am so it might not make much sense (needed to get this out here), but I really hate that Jinx says to her “I busted half of Zaun out of Stillwater while you were passed out in the bottom of a mug,” as if that makes her such a good and heroic person. Yes, Jinx doesn’t really feel like that, but for her to throw it in Vi’s face like the girl hasn’t been carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders since she was a child is sickening.
Some may hate me for saying this but I really feel like so far the only person that has put more thought into Vi and what she’s ever gone through is Caitlyn. Caitlyn is the one who got Vi out of Stillwater and saw first hand her conditions. Caitlyn is the one that got to witness Vi’s world be turned upside down when she came back to Zaun and saw it’s all gone to shit. Caitlyn is the one that Vi told about Powder and her family and what it all meant to her. The amount of guilt and responsibility weighing on her shoulders over something she had no control over whatsoever. Being parentified by her own father figure and community, leaving her with no space to be a child. Caitlyn has stuck by her side when her sister was harming them directly too, seeing Vi as her own individual and not an extension of Jinx. Even when they separated, Caitlyn still managed to do some good thinking about Vi by forbidding the use of the cells on the lower levels of the prison because of how inhumane they were. To say that Vi had only known Caitlyn for such a short time, Vi had become Caitlyn’s everything real quick and I feel like it says something when compared to Vi’s strained relationship with Jinx. Or even Ekko, the only other person who would truly understand what Vi had been through and is still going through. Being the protector, being the savior, being someone that people feel can solve every last one of their problems. Jinx had a chance to really connect with Vi outside of saving Vander, and she chose to hurt Vi because she knew she could. She knew she wasn’t the only one with open wounds not even close to healing, and she couldn’t help but rub salt in the ones of her own sister to make herself feel better.
-rereading and this is all over the place but whatever loll
#arcane#arcane vi#arcane league of legends#powder arcane#arcane jinx#caitlyn arcane#caitlyn kiramman#ekko arcane#vander arcane
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my two cents on the taylor/vienna topic that no one asked for and if you come to hate at this then idc
the first half of taylor’s statement about vienna was very good, and then it was very bad. no one needed her scolding and she could have done much more without putting anyone in danger by talking about things in detail, and i know it’s obviously very hard on her but it lacked empathy for the fans and sounded like a scolding mother.
and to people who just answer every criticism with “she doesn’t owe you anything” um she kinda does - she doesn’t owe anyone her personal life but she does owe something for the, im guessing about 200 000 (?) people who bought the tickets who are also struggling with both waiting over a year for this, losing the money they spent on travelling AND the reality of that they could have been killed if this would not have been found out. i feel like literally a cryptic post would have been enough to create a feeling of “we’re in this together” and i’m just scratching my head at this all.
and the people being all SEE I TOLD YOU SO are so.. my god. i don’t wanna go down to your level but i’m tempted. this is handled so badly by the pr team it’s ridiculous. all the money in the world and yet
#and i’m not like oh i hate her now i just think it’s okay to criticise how this was handled#she could have done so much more to create a feeling that she sees you all#i mean it’s obviously so intense for so many people#and she has a literal team of people who could have done something to make the vienna people feel seen and understood#especially after they sang on the streets and made something so beautiful out of a horrible and scary situation#the companies in vienna did more to create that sense of unity TBH#okay i’m done now#tayor swift#vienna eras tour
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Kind of a weird AU but hear me out:
Finwe marries Indis, right? Most controversial thing Finwe ever done and that includes leading elves from their ancestral home to a new continent to live with gods. Silmarillion says that it happened because he fell in love and I believe it BUT what Silmarillion doesn't tell you is WHEN Finwe marries Indis. I saw posts that say the canon is inconclusive and Tolkien probably changed his mind a lot, and half of what of what Tolkien wrote is thrown from the window by fandom, so.
Anyway, one of the versions said Feanor was at least a teenager when Finwe/Indis happens (I think). What Silmarillion states is that Feanor married VERY young by elven standards, and that Nerdanel was below his station (classism? in elven society? apparently!).
Last thing before I get to the main point: Fingolfin marries Anaire, a Noldo lady, who I saw often enough written as a noble or a court lady, perfectly fine that, no idea if that's canon. And Finarfin very much marries Teleri princess.
...I don't know guys, it feels very convienient. For princes to fall in love with exactly the kind of women who would be approved by royal court and strenghten political ties with other elven factions. If it was anything else than silm, I would call political marriages.
Time for crack: based on what I wrote above I propose an AU where it was FEANOR who was supposed to marry Indis. For politics! Vanyar are the most important faction in Aman! Let's marry into that!
But the MOMENT Feanor became an adult and they could process with courting without making it creppier than it already is, Feanor runs off to elope with his coworker and there's nothing they can do. Well, that's what Finwe tells Ingwe when Ingwe rages about it to him.
Finwe loves Feanor, he wants him to marry for love, and that's exactly what happens. But, uh, all Vanyar are pissed that there's no political marriage when they were promised one (they mad cause they look stupid now), and, well. Finwe decides to bite the bullet. For his son.
It's not true of course. But imagine family dinners after that.
#silm#silmarillion#finwe#feanor#indis#crack#AU#imagine being fingolfin and knowing you could be feanors son not his brother#I mean he would at least love you but still#feanor/indis age gap now THAT's problematic internet forums would explode#it's not that type of story but Finwe sounds unhinged enough to actually do this#solving political crisis proving your love to your son and getting a hot wife to make many babies with?#that has Finwe all over it baby#in this AU nobody ACTUALLY believes Miriel will ever return#like Valars told them it's possible#they went 'uh huh whatever you say' and totally ignored them#listen there are miracles and there are MIRACLES#and bringing people back from dead is the latter#have a nice day!#duty-driven Finweans are my catnip#like SoF went nuts with their Oath obviously#but didn't get that kind of intensity about promises from nowhere#actually Finwe fucking his whole family over with badly thought out and executed promise is very on brand#I did NOT open Silmarillion for this I'm going from memory#so be warned#feanor/indis
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Giving Lue art ideas is an honor and a privilege. Also I love munching on video games as literature bc their themes can be furthered in so many little aspects. That ludonarrative!!!!!
Damn Im probably gonna start playing p5r again tonight...
But with the foggy glasses! I love how Akira's glasses are used for humor (especially on that one Akechi date >.>) in scenes that can also be read as foreshadowing/thematic. Bc "glasses obscuring the face & intent of their wearer by being literally opaque" is such instinctual anime/cartoon shorthand that a character's glasses fogging up and making them appear sinister is a really common joke.
But we can compare the cute jokey fogged glasses with Akira's Persona Awakening scene (thanks yt compilation vids). In the cut-scene, his glasses go between amplifying and obscuring his eyes while his internal sense of justice wars with the restraints his experiences made him internalize.
When his glasses fall and he tears off his mask, his expression has never been clearer or more intensely determined. Even with all the blood running down his face.
One of the reasons I read Akira's dialogue options as multiplicity is bc of the moments the choices read better as one continuous thought than separate ideas. "That's enough!" and "I will stop you" are the same resolve in different keys.
And these moments of synergy clarify what being a "Wild Card" means for Akira. His senses of morality and personal responsibility are intrinsic, bedrock. They are so solid that the rest of him must be malleable in order to enact his justice, or even to survive under the thumb of people who'd see that rebellion crushed.
I fully believe that his glasses and general demeanor (that posture!!) are attempts to make himself invisible because he is so liable to pop-off in the face of injustice that someone responding to his judgmental expression with "what? you've got a problem?" is all it'd take for Akira to blow his own life up.
Akira's malleability and multiplicity are found in all the ways rebellion is possible. A person that is in all iterations himself.
MILD AKECHI SPOILERS BELOW IF YOU HAVEN'T FIGURED OUT HIS DEAL
Meanwhile, Akechi very obviously struggles with his sense of self. He has two masks and somehow fully immerses himself in both. 2 extreme survival mechanisms that only work if he can convince everyone, including himself, that this is all Akechi Goro is.
Akira wears a mask, performs as jack-of-all-trades, because his Self is so solid the problem comes from its reactivity with society at large. The conflict comes when others see it and try to make him bend, break, but he refuses. Meanwhile, Akechi has been in survival-mode so long his sense of identity outside his masks has nearly entirely atrophied.
Which is why he bites so hard when Akira's sharp eyes land on the beast and can't be redirected. Why his mask breaks when Akira pokes at his soft animal underbelly.
Akira wears glasses as a mask because his sharp gaze draws attention, I imagine his poker face is kinda shit. But Akechi has long since made himself into his own ringmaster. He directs the lights and attention towards beautiful, dangerous acts so no one's eyes ever land on the half-starved beast onstage that's often caged, always chained, and never truly hidden.
Hmm got entirely off track again but whenever I think about Akechi I black out and awaken hours later in an unfamiliar location, covered in blood.
MARUKI YOU ARE A JENGA TOWER. WHAT IS YOUR FUCKING DEAL
#also akira in my eyes really subverts the#silent protagonist could be anyone idea#bc with all his foils and other metaverse users its clear to see that no! it wouldnt go the same with anyone else as protag!#yknow like how a tragedy is far less tragic when there is literally no feasible escape for the characters#than when there is a clear escape but the tragedy is in knowing the character wont take it. because they are themselves#akira only “could be anyone” in the sense that he personifies the ideal of rebllion#so its less “akira could be anyone” and more “anyone can be akira”#akira cant be anything less than himself. and his Self is the audience's Potential
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i'm barely a writer at this point so idk but ngl i'm kinda fascinated by people who raise the question of "if you normally don't like X, then why did you click on my fic in the first place, HMMM?". yknow, i mean, idk how other people do it, maybe it's just me, but i sorta author-jump? and sometimes an author i like has written something i usually don't enjoy, and sometimes i click out of pure curiosity. and when i don't like it, i click out, yeah, it's a nope for me! but when i do like or even adore it, i comment. positively. it's That Simple 4 me
#online existence is interesting in that you'd think some things are widespread but they really aren't#like i've internalized that It's Not About Me a good while ago. bitterly. so now seeing people go 'actually it's mean and hurtful to say#you dislike something i like very much' i go wuh? it's just someone stating their preferences? it's not about you?#again obviously it's the matter of phrasing because 'EW i HATE X lmao' =/= 'i don't really vibe with X' are both technically 'someone sayin#they dislike the thing i like' but cmon they're clearly not the same. it's just that when you talk about 'people saying they dislike' my#understanding is that people have said they dislike. not they they hate or that it fucking sucks. would i be hurt if someone said they#didn't like... idk. atz? no! it's their gotdamn right! in fact i would be interested in hearing out why because the way different people#perceive things is fascinating to me. but would i be hurt if someone said they HATED them with this particular tone of voice?#yeah. yeah i would. and i'd think this person must not really care about what others feel if they're so eager to loudly share the full#intensity of their opinions. but many such people are well-liked so it's none of my business in the end right.
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When talking about the distinction between Simon Petrikov and the Ice King, it’s important to remember that originally, the Crown wasn’t trying to turn Simon into Ice King -
It was trying to turn him into this guy.
At the time, the Ice Crown - or rather the Wishing Crown - was programmed with Gunther’s wish to become Evergreen. So everything related to making the current wearer like Evergreen is a very direct result of the Crown’s Magic. The physical changes -
And the obsession with the name ‘Gunther’ -
And maybe some of the irritability and anger issues -
That is something the Crown is very directly forcing unto its current wielder.
But everything else?
Ice King, personality-wise, was not much like Evergreen at all, or even like Gunther's view of him. And Ice Finn of the Farmworld Universe was also pretty different from the both of them.
At the time, I remember people assumed Ice Finn’s behavior is more indicative of what the Crown is actually trying to do with its wielders. That Ice King is so different because of Simon’s subconscious resistance against the Crown - while Finn’s much younger and dumber brain is a lot susceptible to the Curse’s influence to become some sort of mad world-conquering emperor of ice and snow.
But, with the context of the Crown’s actual backstory. That doesn’t seem very likely anymore. I think what’s actually happening there is that the Crown is just trying to make its wielder an Ice Wizard on par with Evergreen (who was the Actual Goddam Ice Elemental) and that means pumping the wielder’s brain so full of Magic, Madness and Sadness to a level that is bound to overwhelm anyone.
And Simon’s and Farmworld Finn’s very different behaviors after putting on the crown is indicative, more than anything, of how their psyche reacts to Madness and Sadness in general. You know, Finn has a very proactive and kinda aggressive personality - and you add Crown-induced-Madness-and-Sadness and a compulsion to use Ice Magic as much as possible and you get all of…. this
Meanwhile, for Simon, the compulsions of the Crown originally filtered exclusively via the language of protection
As his madness always manifested as romantic obsession
And using goofy humor to try and deny the pain he’s going through
Because that’s how Simon’s mind specifically reacts to being flooded with so much Madness and Sadness.
That’s why there’s so many parallels between Ice King and the sort of mistakes and screwed-up stuff Simon does right now! He’s even kidnapping people again!
Because the Madness and Sadness of Ice King might’ve been induced by the Crown, but now Simon has plenty of personal home-grown Madness and Sadness inside him - and it’s no surprise that Curse-Induced or not, his mind reacts to it in a sorta-similar way. (Although obviously not as intensely, again, there was a LOT of MMS in the Ice Crown).
Now as for Ice Thing, and the fact that he seems to be actually rather well-adjusted under effects of his version of the Wishing Crown. I mean... not by the time of the 1000+ Era, but that’s literally eons in the future and also maybe more Gibbon’s fault. Even if the Crown will eventually take some sort of toll on him, for now he seems to be doing pretty well considering his wish. I mean, there's still some sort of Loss of Identity stuff going on
But everything we've seen of Ice Thing (in the present day, at least) shows him as a friendly and cheerful individual that gets along well with others. A far cry from how maladjusted every single wielder of the Ice Crown acted.
At the very least, if there's any notable amount of Sadness in him, we really haven't seen it yet.
There might be several factors here:
First things first, I should acknowledge the possibility that it’s just that Orgalorg’s eldritch brain is better at intaking all that MMS juice. That could play a part, but I think it’s probably more important, at least thematically, to look at the distinction between ‘I wish to be Evergreen’ and ‘I wish to be Ice King’.
First in the sense that while Ice King was occasionally mean to Gunter at times - he was generally much kinder than Evergreen ever was for ‘his’ Gunther. So, like, pretty much the one Personality Flaw of Ice King that you can directly link to the Ice Crown’s attempt to mimic Evergreen is the occasional anger issues.
And how they relate to Gunther’s view of Evergreen, so grumpy and controlling and constantly saying ‘NO!’
(Both Finn and Simon’s demonstrable not-crown-induced trauma responses can make them pretty short-tempered as well. So I’m not going to say this is purely the effects of the Crown. It still probably plays some sort of factor at why the wielder of the Ice Crown is Like That).
And that is not a factor in how Gunter views Ice King. For him, Ice King was a doting and loving father figure - so if the Crown was ever trying to implement any sort of specific negative personality traits, this is absolutely no longer a factor. Because the original Ice Crown was a reflection of Evergreen’s abuse, and now Ice Thing is a reflection of Ice King’s fatherly love.
Which is, itself, probably an echo or remnant of Simon’s own strong parental instincts.
Secondly, while the Crown was trying to make the Ice King just as powerful as Evergreen…. Ice King was obviously not as powerful as Evergreen. Because he was already a second-rate copy of the Ice Elemental’s power, and because Ice King was often just too doofy to use his powers correctly and probably because some remnant of Simon’s original sensible self is subconsciously holding his powers back.
Either way, being ‘like Ice King’ as Gunter sees him requires less Magic than being ‘like Evergreen’ as Gunther saw him - and therefore less Madness and Sadness. Leading to the wearer or, um, the eater being a lot more well-adjusted from the get-go.
And I think that the implication that Ice Thing has fused with the Crown, so there's never going to be another poor sap who puts on the Crown and gets Ice King'd. But if there is one somehow... at least the process is going to be less mentally detrimental that time around?
Maybe one day Simon could look back and appreciate how much he (or Ice King, or both of them, or however you want to look at the situation) is responsible for basically neutralizing the Crown that ruined his life in the first place.
#adventure time#atimers#adventure time fionna and cake#adventure time simon#ice king#simon petrikov#simon adventure time#the ice king#fionna and cake#fionna and cake simon#fionna and cake series#fionna and cake show#ice thing#the ice thing#adventure time gunter#gunter the penguin#adventure time gunther#gunther the penguin#Urgence Evergreen#simon and marcy
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that's a warning
summary: your professor's age is not a problem to you. and neither is his dark secret... pairing: professor!chan x uni student!reader genre: dark academia, vampire!au, smut warnings: professor/student dynamic, age gap (unspecified), mentions of toxic friend, descriptions of blood, kissing, biting, eating out, blowjob, daddy kink (who's surprised?), ddlg implied, size kink, unprotected sex, forbidden relationship, insecurities, danger kink author's note: this is based on a dream i had + inspired by railway, obviously. read at your own risk 🥵 too many references to the song's lyrics in bold, sawrryyy word count: 3k
The moment you set your eyes on Professor Bang, you know that you need to have him. You've never felt an attraction so intense, so overpowering, so sinister in its obsession. You are willing to go to any lengths to get close to him. Even if it kills you.
It starts off innocent, almost childlike. The way you stay after his lectures to ask him silly questions (you know the answers to) about the homework. Sometimes you ask him about the location of other lecture halls (even though you've been to them hundreds of times). Sometimes you go to his office hours just to be alone with him (even though you are perfectly confident in understanding the study material).
At first, Chan accepts your incessant flood of questions with an easy-going smile. If he's being honest with himself, he likes the attention. It's been a while since someone's been that interested in talking to him. Especially someone so…young. Most students usually avoid his intense stare. He's been told it's far too intimidating. He tries to be welcoming to everyone but he's not sure he's doing a good job.
But as the semester nears its end, his patience wears thin. You always get full marks on your assignments and quizzes so he doesn't understand why you are constantly asking for his "help". And he's certain you know your way around the university better than any other student. You're always on time and your homework is flawless 100% of the time. So, he really doesn't get it. Are you messing with him? Is it funny to you to joke around with a poor old lonely professor?
Chan's decided he's had enough. And this time, when you catch him alone after the lecture, he's going to confront you.
"Cut the act," Professor Bang scolds you directly. "I know you know the answer to that question. Why are you doing this to me?"
"Doing what, Professor Bang?" you ask innocently, while batting your eyelashes.
"Pretending you're dumb. It's obvious you're a top student, so why are you always asking me stuff?" he grunts and pins you down with his intense gaze you're so addicted to.
Hell, you've never felt more terrified. It excites you.
"Don't you know already?" you mumble quietly. You want to look away but you're trapped in his beautiful dark eyes. So you don't.
"Is it fun, messing with an old man like me, huh? Is it some stupid college dare?" Chan asks, his insecurities getting the worst of him.
"You're not old," you insist passionately. "There's no dare. I just…like you."
"You…like me?" he repeats in disbelief.
You nod furiously, trying to convince him of your sincerity.
"But…why?"
"What do you mean why? You're so smart and handsome and sometimes even cute. I like…how you explain stuff like you don't think anyone is dumb, you're so patient and…warm."
Huh. Warm? It's been a while since someone's used that word to describe him, Chan thought.
"You do realize we could both get in trouble if…" he can't even believe he's even considering this. "If we were to…pursue something outside of the university walls?"
Fuck it, he said it.
"I know. I won't tell anyone, I promise," you are desperately grasping at straws as you find yourself so close to the one thing you've ever wanted more than anything.
Professor Bang shakes his head.
"I'm not asking you to keep it a complete secret. Just…if you choose to share it with people, be careful who you trust."
"I understand, Professor, I'll be careful," you promise.
"And…call me Chris or Chan or something," he shrugs. "When it's just us two."
God. It's really happening.
"Let me take you out to a restaurant," he offers suddenly. "Tomorrow evening?"
"That sounds amazing!" you grin excitedly.
Your first date with Chan arrives and you are so happy you feel like you could die. You don't wanna jinx things so soon and don't tell anyone where you're going.
"You look stunning," he compliments your dress as he pulls a chair out for you.
"Thank you so much, Chris," you smile and take a seat. "You look absolutely dashing, as always."
He chuckles but doesn't respond rightaway.
"What's so funny?"
"Nothing, it's just…I don't hear that much. Especially not from beautiful young women such as yourself."
"You're surely joking?" you frown. "Anyone would kill to be in my shoes right now."
"You're too kind," Chan replies, not seeming to believe your words and you decide to drop the subject. For now. "What would you like to drink?"
"Hmm…maybe some red wine?"
"Good choice," he smirks. "And food?"
"I'm really into pasta these days!" you squeal with excitement.
Chris orders for the two of you, making your heart flutter for the hundredth time. He's just…so dependable.
Till the food arrives, you busy yourselves with getting to know each other better. Outside of the university walls, it turns out you are both passionate about things other than academic endeavours. And with each glass of red, it becomes easier to share stuff about yourself with him.
As the evening nears its natural conclusion, Chan insists on paying the bill for the food and drinks.
"Now I feel bad," you pout adorably, clinging onto his arm for support, because all the wine made your legs slightly unstable. "Let's go for coffee!"
"I don't…really drink coffee," Chris confesses shyly.
"Tea, then! Please, I don't want to go home just yet. This night is so perfect, I don't want it to end."
"Okay, okay," he agrees easily.
You lead the way to one of your favourite cafés. This time, you excitedly pay for the warm beverages.
"It's snowing outside!" you marvel at the pretty snowflakes falling, illuminated by the street lights.
"Good thing we're all cozy and inside, then," Chan chuckles.
"Yeah…" you smile softly. "I really like you, Chan," you admit.
"I know, you said that a couple of times," he shakes his head, amused.
"Yes, but…you didn't say anything. Do you like me, too?" you inquire self-consciously.
"I do like you. You're very clever and funny and obviously super pretty."
"Really?" you blink furiously to stop yourself from tearing up. You don't get to hear something like that by someone you admire so much. Someone who inspires you to be as diligent and hard-working as him. Scratch that. You don't get to hear words like that very often. It sometimes strikes you how badly you need to be acknowledged for your efforts.
"You must know that."
"No, actually, I don't," you smile sadly. "But it's really nice of you to say it. True or not."
Chan stretches his hand out across the table to hold yours.
"Hey. It's true, okay?"
"Guess I'll stick around to find out, yeah? And maybe I'll help you believe it, too," you suggest.
"Maybe. I'd really like that."
And stick around you do. The next semester, Chan is no longer your Professor, so you don't have to worry so much about getting in trouble with the university's authorities. Eventually, as things start becoming more serious, you decide to share the news about your boyfriend's identity with a few of your closest friends.
Luckily, most of them are super supportive and happy about your relationship. They tell you that you've looked happier recently and are pleased to finally know the reason. There is one friend, however, who is completely against.
"I don't approve. You can't date him," she outright says.
"Can't? Excuse me?" you become aggravated. You've had some fights in the past, situations when she's been jealous of you hanging out with other friends and has done some toxic stuff behind your back. So, her reaction doesn't come as a complete surprise. But still, it sucks that she hasn't outgrown this kind of pettiness.
"He's like…too old for you. And the fact he was your Professor is just…gross."
"How can you say that? You've never even met him."
"Then, let me meet him."
"Why would you meet him if you've already made up your mind?"
"To make sure he's worthy of you, duh."
"That's my call to make. Not yours."
And with that, you leave. This is just…too much. Later, you talk to another friend about this situation to get a second opinion.
"Nah, fuck her. I mean, it's your relationship, she can't dictate how you feel or who you're seeing romantically."
"Right? That's exactly what I've been thinking."
"It sucks that she said those stuff but maybe you're better off," your other friend shrugs.
"Yeah…For the time being, I'll distance myself from her. If she starts acting like an adult, only then will I consider letting her back in."
"That's totally valid," your friend agrees. "Take your time and look after your mental health."
"Thank you so much. I knew you'd get it."
"Always!"
Soon after that, you hang out at Chan's place and you decide to talk talk to him about the falling-out with that toxic friend.
"Well, technically, I am too old for you."
"The fuck you are! Are you taking her side?" you cry out passionately.
"Hell, no! I'm just saying…you could find any college guy your age and…"
"No, shut up, Chris!" you shake your head, refusing to entertain such an idea. "I don't want anyone but you!"
"But I'm dangerous for you," Chan sighs. But you can't believe that. He's been nothing but kind and accepting in the short time you've known each other.
"What do you mean?" you ask.
"You'd think I'm crazy if I told you," he grins somewhat devilishly. "It'd be better if I showed you instead. But then, I'd have to kill you."
"W-what?" you stammer, his behaviour totally unlike the gentle guy you're used to seeing.
Suddenly, Chris grabs your wrist and starts pulling you somewhere.
"W-where are we g-going?" you ask helplessly but he doesn't respond. He's too strong to fight him back so you just try to keep up with his speed and follow him down the stairs and into the basement. Where you'll find answers to questions you didn't even know you were supposed to be asking.
When he unlocks the door, you are greeted with red. A lot of it.
"What is all this?"
"Come on, sweetheart, I thought you were smarter than that," Chris chuckles.
"It's…blood banks," you state the obvious, feeling dumber than ever.
"Wow, you don't say," Chris replies sarcastically.
"Why…why do you have all this blood in your basement? Is it like a…kink thing?!" you gasp in shock.
"No, darling, it's not a kink thing," he laughs, the idea incredibly amusing. "Take a guess."
"Are you a serial killer?" you try to think of a logical explanation.
"You're too realistic," Chris sighs. "Think…something you never thought possible."
"You're…a vampire!" you exclaim triumphantly.
"Bingo," he confirms unenthusiastically. "So, your friend was correct to worry. I am too old for you. And bad for you. I never should have let this go so far."
You shake your head.
"N-no, she's not right," you disagree. "I don't care."
"You don't care?" Chris tilts your chin up, facing you directly. "Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to restrain myself from sucking your blood dry?"
You gulp nervously but refuse to believe he'd actually do that. Especially considering he hasn't done so already…
"Why did you become a Professor surrounded by so many humans if self-control is so hard for you?" you push back cleverly.
"It's never been a problem for me to control my thirst. Until you."
"Then, why did you let me get so close?" you inquire.
"Because I was weak…And lonely. I shouldn't have let you in."
Your eyes tear up with emotion.
"Are you saying you'd be happier without me?"
"Happier?" Chris scoffs. "No, I wouldn't be happier. But you would be safer without me."
"Fuck that," you argue. "I am safe when it's just you and me. Knowing you're a vampire changes nothing about how I feel about you."
"Then, you're even more insane than I am," Chris sighs, unable to deny the growing tension between you two.
You kiss him roughly to prove him right, digging your fingers into his soft hair. He kisses you back just as hungrily, incapable of letting you go.
Yes, he may be dangerous for you. But so are you. Willingly pursuing him, not running away from him despite knowing the truth.
He grabs your hair and pulls back, exposing your neck.
"Last chance to get out of here. That's a warning," Chris whispers darkly.
"Is that a threat or a promise?" you grin, completely trusting him.
Even if he was your Professor, even if he is way older than you than you initially thought, even if he is a blood-sucking predator, there is no one else you'd trust so unconditionally, so irrevocably.
"What if I hurt you?" he asks, a hint of worry making his dark eyes glow with warmth.
"You couldn't," you insist and close your eyes, tilting your neck. "You can bite me, if you want."
"You're crazy," Chris repeats.
"I trust you," you speak your thoughts out loud.
And this is his breaking point. He attacks your neck with his sharp fangs, not wanting to hold back any longer. The bite stings but in such a sweet way you would be happy to go, if this was your fate…As he drinks from you, you weakly wrap your hands around his neck for support, needing him to ground you. Just as badly as he needed one taste from your delicious blood. If your blood is what Chris needs for survival, then he will surely be your undoing.
Somehow, against all reason, Chan manages to detach his fangs from your neck.
"Fuck," he caresses your neck, smearing the blood all over your porcelain skin. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be," you murmur dazedly. "I'm okay."
He holds you close, kissing your cheeks and trying to clean up the mess he made.
"Let's get out of here," Chan suggests and lifts you in his arms, carrying you back to the coziness of his place.
"I don't mind," you reassure him. "You being a vampire, that is. I love every part about you. I love...you."
"You…love me?" Chan gasps in surprise.
"I do, I love you," you say once again for good measure.
He doesn't say anything, just kisses you again in disbelief. You hug him tightly, finding so much comfort in his arms. Whatever you've heard about vampires doesn't apply to Chan. He's radiating so much warmth you feel you could burn.
"Hold on tight," he warns and you grip the headboard top rail for dear life, as Chan makes sure to show you blood is not the only thing he's interested in drinking.
As he laps up your juices greedily, you find yourself on the verge of losing your sanity. Your hands give out and you let go of the bed's railings and opt for burying your fingers into his curls once more for support.
"Chris, please, please," you cry out, not even sure what you're begging for. For him to stop? For sweet release? It doesn't matter, as long as he stays with you.
Soon enough, your prayers are answered and you start seeing stars floating in the middle of the room.
"Did I kill you already?" he laughs upon seeing your reaction.
"Try harder," you tease him, even though you are already so gone.
"Don't say I didn't warn you," Chris shrugs.
He takes off his jeans and stuffs your mouth full with his giant cock. You try to babble something but it's no use and your helplessness only turns him on more. You hug the back of his knees and let him fuck your throat as he pleases, even though you don't have much of a choice in the matter. Your vision is cloudy with tears and you can't even ask for mercy as his cum starts flooding your mouth. If you thought him drinking your blood was overwhelming, this is on a whole 'nother level of dizzying.
Once he's done using and abusing your throat, he pulls his cock out, smirking at you from above.
"You okay, sweetheart? Still alive?"
"Y-yes, d-daddy," you manage to croak out weakly.
Chris shakes his head in amusement upon hearing the sudden title.
"Then, I guess Daddy's gonna have to give ya a rough ride so you'll forget your own name, huh? How does that sound?"
"More, please," you plead desperately and he makes good on his promise.
He enters you without another warning and you can't keep your screams inside.
"G-god, y-yes," you moan.
"God isn't in this room, darling," Chris cackles maniacally. "The devil, however…"
You kiss him again because he's talking so much your brain can't keep up.
"S-so b-big," you cry.
"Yeah? Too big for my little girl?" he teases you.
"N-no. P-perfect. You're perfect," you insist stubbornly.
Chris fucks into you with supernatural stamina and you are grateful for that because even though you want to, you aren't able of keeping pace with him. Instead, you are happy to just hold onto him and focusing all your energy into…well, not passing out. You're so wet for him that his enormous size slides in and out easily, satisfying both of you with the intensity of the feeling. At last, you cum together, overwhelmed by the passion and affection you feel for each other.
He collapses on top of you, not wanting to pull out just yet. You welcome his weight like he's a giant blanket, comforting you.
"Don't wanna let go of you," Chan murmurs cutely.
You stroke his hair once more with a gentle touch. How is this man who has so many more years of experience still such a cute boy, desperate for tenderness?
"Then, don't. I'm all yours to keep," you chuckle weakly.
"That wouldn't be very productive to our academic future," Chan complains.
"It's okay. I feel like we've both earned a little break," you point out.
"From university? Sure. But when it comes to us two…I need no break. No brakes."
"Nicely said," you giggle, ready for another round on this train that never sleeps.
The End
#bang chan x reader#stray kids x reader#skz x reader#stray kids smut#bang chan smut#chan x reader#chan smut#stray kids imagines#stray kids fanfic#skz scenarios#stray kids#chan#writing
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After a long time exploring hypnosis and wondering about its mechanics and functions and digging into everything I could, I have come to somewhat of a complete answer to the question of...
"What is hypnosis?"
I went through a lot of different answers over time, specifically attempting to peel back layers of arbitrariness to how we define hypnosis, and through learning how it works and talking with many other hypnotists and subjects about their views, the conclusion I've come to is simple: Hypnosis is not a state or a unique nonstate interaction. Hypnosis, and specifically hypnosis, does not actually exist.
The things that construct hypnosis do exist. In my opinion, those things are: focus, suggestibility, dissociation, and compartmentalization.
Focus in this analysis is defined as the threshold that defines what of the information we take in at all times is given attention. It is a filter limited in size that optimizes what our minds need to be aware of. It is specifically and deeply important to note that focus is limited.
Our entire sense of reality is always constructed out of a limited amount of stimuli, and so, small things, depending on how intense of focus is, can construct a significant portion of what our mind is taking in. To borrow the example of Plato's Allegory of the Cave, the people who from birth have only been able to witness silhouettes casting on to cave walls, that amount of stimuli is what composes their entire construct of what reality is. If, one day, the lights went out, it would be tantamount to an apocalypse.
In the act we call Hypnosis, the hypnotist attempts to consume as much of one's focus as possible as to project their ideas as largely as possible in the minds of their subjects.
Suggestibility in this analysis is defined as the simple and almost boring to describe function of the mind responding to new stimuli. If you respond to any new amount of information to enter your mind from reading a new word to feeling temperature to having your heart broken after a breakup. It might seem redundant to cast such a wide net for suggestibility, but if you remove all arbitrary restrictions, this is truly what suggestibility is.
Our minds have no connection to some absolute truth. To our minds, all information taken in is, at first, equally real to us. We need to create the understanding that some stimuli is fake and some is real, and that step comes after the initial absorption of information. Even the concept of fake and real need to be learned.
Our minds react strongly to purely hypothetical information all of the time. Anxiety, depression, worrying about future tests or the next job evaluation. If our mind believes with all of its heart that a bear is standing right behind us, our body will jump into fight or flight. The "actual reality" of the situation is irrelevant to the brain because it's not something the brain could ever connect with. Our minds, by design, extrapolate on limited information. We are designed to be suggested. Hypnotists simply exploit this necessary aspect of the mind.
Dissociation in this analysis is defined as any function of the mind that separates its awareness or means of processing information from its current, immediate environment. The actual traditional definition of dissociation obviously applies, but so does "meditation" and "immersion" and "highway hypnosis" and "flow states". The mind is always somewhat dissociated, just like it is always in a state of uneven focus and always suggestible.
If it separates you from the current, tangible, "real" moment and places you within a state of heightened focus on hypothetical or fake information, it is some function of dissociation.
This can be assisted by cutting off things like eyesight or fixating it on one point so that new information stops being taken in. This is also what leads to easier thinking while doing familiar tasks like chores or showering. The stimuli around you is so familiar that the mind has nothing to process, leading to an increase in internal thinking. Look into the default mode network if you're curious about learning more.
Compartmentalization in this analysis is defined as the process of drawing a conceptual outline around something in order to make it one defined thing. The field of analysis surrounding this is called Ontology, the study of what makes a thing a thing. In our minds, this is the process of building blocks of knowledge.
You can learn specific concepts like "chairs" or "self" or "red" and then build associations between those things, creating cities of knowledge where each thing connects to another in order to inform our perception and processing of everything we ever take in.
Compartmentalization is the thing that makes learning possible, and we exist constantly within perceptive structures that turn the chaotic series of stimuli we're always absorbing into a thing that makes sense. It is also the thing that makes triggers possible, it's what conditioning functions with.
We, as hypnotists, literally teach the concept of the trigger and build its associations so that the memory can then later be referenced.
When these interact, we have a dissociated subject (making them more able to accept hypothetical information and suspend their disbelief) whose focus has been drawn in strongly (thus making the information taken in construct a much larger piece of their reality), in order to suggest ideas to the mind that it partially takes as fact despite the hypothetical nature in order to compartmentalize and condition specific desired responses within the subject.
One could then say that hypnosis is this interaction. However, when considering such a thing, holes begin to form in that idea. The strongest case against it is actually quite simple and quite immutable: these four things already interact with eachother all of the time. In fact, they're designed to, it is the entire point of each function to do so. It would be defining hypnosis as the process of percieving.
You could then say that it is the faulty interaction of these four things. Hypnosis would then still apply to phantom pains and psyching yourself up and going to therapy. Hypothetical and often wrong feelings and ideas self-suggest us an uncountable amount of times per day.
What if, then, it was the intentional exploitation of these four elements? Well beyond the fact that almost nobody who does hypnosis knows about these things and that it can be done without knowing anything about hypnosis, it would again be defined as psyching someone else up or lying to someone or reading a book made by anyone that is not yourself.
This is all to say that nothing about hypnosis is unique at all. Every function and idea that could be applied to hypnosis could be applied to a wider function or idea, and so every attempt to define hypnosis begins creating arbitrary distinctions, ones that just nervously ignore every blurry line.
Once every possibility is whittled down, the only remaining one is that hypnosis is the act of participating in hypnosis.
While hypnosis is not a state, it is compartmentalized as one. It is the concept of a state of mind in which you can be suggested and controlled. It is the concept of a state of a heightened version of each of these four elements, and the compartmentalization of it as a state is the thing that gives hypnosis power.
It is a natural consequence of the mind's awareness of itself and its own manner of perception, a cognitohazard that is self-referential and self-reinforcing, using the real functions that our minds use to imagine a specific and distinct thing that occurs when they combine and the powers that are possible once that concept occurs.
Hypnosis itself is a conditioned concept.
Experienced subjects drop into trance easier not because they've being "conditioned better to hypnosis", it's because new subjects literally do not know or understand what it is. Experienced subjects draw on memory to fall into hypnosis, they are referencing the concept in their mind and emulating what it is that they believe it to be.
The concept of hypnosis is triggered by ideas that make the subject remember hypnosis.
This also means that hypnosis is different for every single person that is made aware of it. They all share similarities, but it makes it that so long as that something is rested in perception, the subject can be manipulated in almost any way so long as they believe with all of their mind that they can be affected that way.
If a subject believes they can lose full control of themselves, it will happen.
This makes it so that first impressions can matter a lot, that trauma and fears and anxieties can entirely change of how conditions and processes hypnosis, and that the concept can be changed and reconditioned over time, meaning nobody is hopeless.
To conclude, hypnosis is an imaginary but inevitable idea that uses each function that is associated with it to create itself and reinforce itself, and its existence as a state or process/interaction and defined concept in the mind that legitimizes it and allows us to detach ourselves from our own control.
It is not a state, but a concept of a state or process, and a concept that can be spread and taught and reinforced collectively through the idea of it existing.
This is, after a very long time of searching, what feels to be a satisfying relatively unified theory of hypnosis for me, and has tied off the majority of loose ends I had for it.
As a last note, don't take "imaginary" as a means to believe that it is weak or fragile. While it in itself does not exist in the way most things do, as spoken about before, "imaginary" can be as real to us as "real". Our minds don't necessarily know the difference.
Even further, this should be deeply freeing to know. Hypnosis can be whatever you want it to be. If it exists in perception, you can work to tweak it. Context always matters though, of course.
I hope you enjoyed reading. I don't know if anyone other than me has concluded this (I mean I'm sure others have), but I hope that something has been gained from your own perspective.
Thank you, and have a nice day.
#owlette#hypnosis#hypnokink#conversational hypnosis#hypnotic#covert hypnosis#hypno k1nk#hypnok1nk#hypnovember
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How do you think the Cullens would act around a disinterested crush? Maybe they're fated but reader isn't having it lol
(I love your twilight writing btw thank God someone is still doing it 🤤🤤)
ah it has been many moons since I've gotten a twilight request yay!
Cullen Clan Reacting To Their Crush Being Disinterested In Them
Carlisle Cullen
Being alive for just over 400 years tends to give one a good perspective on life and the bigger picture, and Carlisle sure has a pretty good idea of how all things pan out. So you're not interested in him? That's fine, Carlisle can wait for as long as you need to change your mind.
In the meantime, Carlisle will continue to maintain your friendship and continue to show just how hard he's worked to become the kind caring father figure he is. He knows you'll fall for him, eventually.
Esme Cullen
Obviously, she's not going to stop caring about you just because you don't return her feelings. But she might switch up how she shows her affection.
Rather than flirty winks and suspiciously candle-lit wine tastings, she'll back up to more traditionally motherly affections. Making sure you're eating right, baking cookies, etc. And of course, giving you homemade soup when you're sick is still one of her favourite things to do, no need to stop now.
Edward Cullen
Of course, you're not interested, how could anyone love a monster like him? Who did he think he was, thinking he was worthy of your love? Or so his inner monologue goes.
But it's really not that dramatic, it almost never is, Edward just sprung his crush on you suddenly and it caught you off guard. It was largely the excessively long preamble about how he was an irredeemable murderer that put you off first, but of course, he won't realise that until considerably later.
Rosalie Hale
She's a little relieved actually. All her mortal and immortal life, Rosalie has been aggressively pursued by people she wasn't particularly interested in, so the fact that she can crush on someone who isn't really that interested is a wonderful change of pace.
For the first time ever, Rosalie has butterflies in her stomach, she fumbles with her words when she speaks to you, and she feels like a silly, mortal teenage girl again, begging her mother to let her go to the dance just so she can sneak away to catch a glimpse of someone just like you.
Emmett Cullen
You and Emmett had been good friends for a while so when he casually drops a blissful "We should get married" into the conversation, you initially choke on your drink in laughter.
Emmett's a little heartbroken that you'd laugh at something like that, considering that he was being 100% serious. But since you've known him, the both of you have been constantly cracking up jokes, trying to get on each other's nerves, so no wonder you thought this was another one of his pranks. He decides to take this reaction as a blessing, you have no idea he's actually into you, now he knows he has to work out a different way to confess his feelings for you.
Alice Cullen
She's a little confused obviously, having multiple visions of the two of you in a romantic relationship kind of gave her the impression that it might've been going to come true, but your disinterest says something else altogether.
But the worst part is that those damn visions of you and her together keep coming back, taunting her, luring her in deeper to despair with the thoughts of what might be. It's all getting so intense, so she decides to skip town for a bit, see if that changes anything, or at least helps her clear her head.
Jasper Hale
Oh well, so you're not interested in a romantic relationship, so what? Doesn't mean you can't still be friends. Doesn't mean he can't be the charming Southern gentleman he is. Doesn't mean he can't still pull out chairs or open doors for you. Or send anonymous bouquets to your house. Or leave your favourite snacks in your locker when you're having a rough day. Of course not.
It doesn't mean he can't worry about other people who might want to date you. Doesn't mean he can't scare off people who'd be bad for you. I mean, what else are friends for?
#twilight saga#twilight saga headcanons#twilight saga imagine#twilight saga x reader#carlisle cullen#carlisle cullen x reader#esme cullen#esme cullen x reader#edward cullen#edward cullen x reader#rosalie hale#rosalie hale x reader#emmett cullen#emmett cullen x reader#alice cullen#alice cullen x reader#jasper hale#jasper hale x reader#qdbs writes#cullen clan#cullen clan x reader
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DEBUNKING COMMON RAIN WORLD MISINTERPRETATIONS
The target audience for this was for people who don't know too much about the game as well, so I'm going to explain things that a normal player might already know.
Rain World is known for how it simply throws you into the world with almost no tutorial, and is often praised for it.
But this lack of explanation if you do not go out of your way to find it has also lead to a lot of misinterpretations from those who did not read all the game’s available information, or misunderstood what they were being told. I used to watch some RW lore videos that would explain and summarize these things, and in the past I believed them.
I’ve since stopped doing that after having some time to actually process what I’ve been reading, and I’m here to say...
YOU ARE ALL WRONG ABOUT RAIN WORLD.
Ok, hyperbole. Not everyone believes these, and art can always be interpreted in different ways by different people, and I won’t stop you from having these beliefs. But also, there’s plenty of ingame content which completely disproves most of these unsubstantiated points from those who do not fully research the game before making videos about it.
Looking at you Tale Foundry…
The purpose of this is to pick apart some of the sadly far too common points I’ve heard many times before from Youtube videos, to Tumblr posts, to people I’ve spoken to on Discord.
Starting with my least favorite…
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“The 5 karma were seen as sinful”
Obvious westernization of a game based off fucking Buddhism aside, there’s no ingame text directly supporting this claim. There isn’t any that says otherwise, but we have good reason to believe this isn’t the case.
The 5 natural urges, as they’re sometimes called, were NATURAL. They were what bound you to the cycle. They never worsened your life or made you a terrible person should you keep following them, but an aspect of life on the same level as suffering or ecstasy.
Hey, I’ll break down the 5 karma and their meanings to show you that they're not just "sins"
I believe the natural urges have 2 different meanings: an animalistic one, and a more “human” one.
KARMA 1 This obviously represents violence, as you see one guy stabbing the other. I believe it also represents competition and intense emotions, For example: Artificer experiencing intense grief and lashing out in violence as a result. It was not the violence that started it, but her emotions. (Yes, its Downpour. But it’s a good point.)
KARMA 2
They’re having sex. They’re fucking. They’re- ok you get it. Karma 2 represents reproduction. But, I also believe it’s desire. Joyful bodily experiences, and such. The 2 figures seen here are in a much more playful pose than if they were simply doing this only to reproduce. No, they’re having fun.
KAMRA 3 Connection. Bonding with others. Yet also trade and personal belongings. Attachment to things that are not yourself.
KARMA 4 It’s mentioned ingame that this represents gluttony It’s overindulgence, you know. Similarly to karma 2, it can also be searching for fulfillment. I'm not particularly good at telling what the meaning of this could be.
KARMA 5 Self preservation. Self preservation can come in many forms, from an animal running away from a predator or somebody getting defensive after being accused of something or being threatened, this one is rather vague about its meaning.
I do this to show that the 5 urges have very NEUTRAL meanings. It being positive or negative is entire dependant on context. They’re not sinful, get out of here with that Catholic shit!
The 5 karmas have both positive, negative, and neutral contexts which they can fit into.
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“The ancients hated being alive”
The ancients simply hated the cycle itself and its unknowable properties, as well as being much more aware of things like karma and the urges. Rather, they valued being effortless to disconnect themselves from this cycle.
“This was an eternal dilemma to them - they were burdened by great ambition, yet deeply convinced that striving in itself was an unforgivable vice. They tried very hard to be effortless.” – Bright Green Pearl (DS)
Some practices did of course include things like starving yourself, but as mentioned by Moon, these methods proved to be mostly obsolete. Void Fluid fundamentally changed their culture from what we see. Rather, we do see the ancients enjoying life and valuing it in their own way, which is INCREDIBLY important to some of the games themes, but I’ll get into that later.
"[...]'In this vessel is the living memories of Seventeen Axes, Fifteen Spoked Wheel, of the House of Braids[…] Seventeen Axes, Fifteen Spoked Wheel nobly decided to ascend in the beginning of 1514.008, after graciously donating all (ALL!) earthly possessions to the local Iterator project (Unparalleled Innocence), and left these memories to be cherished by the carnal plane.The assorted memories and qualia include:Watching dust suspended in a ray of sun (Old age). Eating a very tasty meal (Young child). Defeating an opponent in a debate contest, and being applauded by fellow team members (Late childhood/Early adulthood).’...and the list goes on. I'm sorry, little creature, I won't read all of this - the list is six hundred and twenty items long.” – Deep Magenta (SH)
There’s quite a lot to pick apart here, I had to cut down some parts short, but even the cut parts have important details. Just not important enough for me to bring up here.
The Memory Crypts we see ingame are… well where memories are kept. The qualia (personalized experiences) is stored within these mutated fleshy neural organisms referred to as “cabinet beasts”. These of course, contain the “living memories” or qualia of those who have ascended. There are people smarter than me who have already covered these ideas of course, so I won't go TOO indepth.
The ancients greatly valued titles and achievements just as us. They still lived normal lives. As well as this, they valued personal experiences and memories of the carnal realm so much they built an entire citadel to store memories.
As we can see as well, Seventeen Axes has quite a lot of enjoyable memories from throughout their life. Eating nice food and winning a debate contest and getting validation from their peers? That sounds rather… complacent with the 3rd and 4th natural urges, doesn’t it?
I do not believe this screams “I hate being alive!” as much as people have made it out to be, and is honestly ruins part of the game’s messages of compassion and personalized experiences, especially in the game’s ending where Survivor dreams of home.
“You have no name. I once had! I was embalmed, adorned, readied for the journey. So proud. There was jubilation! My name was sung, loud and clear. Did they know? That I didn't quite leave, didn't quite stay? Should I be ashamed? That I linger here, where my memories are kept? Should I be ashamed that I now envy your flesh prison?” - Four Needles under Plentiful Leaves
This is leaning into personal theory territory, but...
I personally believe that the ancients were somewhat terrified of the unpredictability of the cycle and the fact that life would always have more suffering in it.
RW’s religion is heavily based off Buddhism. This is well known of course. The Cycle is a variation of Samsara. Now, I’m not Buddhist, and I’ve tried to do my research about some of these topics. Feel free to correct me, I’m simply going off what I know. (Also I'd love to hear what you have to say regarding your thoughts on the game!)
In Buddhism, each new life you could be taken into the body of an animal, or even end up being tortured in hell for a very, very, VERY long time if you made the wrong decisions, which made escaping it as soon as you could seem like a rather reasonable thing to do.
The ancients never fully grasped the scope of the cycle, and the prospects of having your soul wake up in the body of some miserable worm with no memory of your past or any ideas of your future might’ve seemed bleak.
Suffering is inevitable. But that doesn’t mean they hated being alive, like I said before.
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“Rain World is post-apocalyptic.”
It really isn’t. There was never any apocalypse. The ancients simply left on their own accord, leaving behind their mark on the world that will slowly be buried once again in the ever so present cycle.
“The bones of forgotten civilizations, heaped like so many sticks.” - Two Sprouts, Twelve Brackets
The world is thriving, even. The purposed organisms left behind have evolved and taken over and become it’s own ecosystem.
The iterators are dying though. Dying very slowly, but soon they’ll all decay and everything will move on.
It’s all just another manifestation of the cycle.
------
“The creatures in Rain World cannot die”
This is definitely something I hear from people who haven’t played much of the game and only hear about it from outside sources and watch the gameplay.
Yes, it is easy to believe this. As slugcat, when you die, you wake back up again. This is entirely a gameplay thing and not actually related to the lore. Saying this might seem like I'm avoiding the question at hand here, but the rules that apply to you do not seem to apply to other creatures.
Every creature in the game has a 4 integer ID (it can go higher, but not in a standard playthrough).
This makes every creature you see an individual of sorts with its own randomized values or appearance.
As well as this, creatures spawn from specific marked dens. When you kill a creature that spawns from a certain den, the next cycle, that creature’s ID will never appear again. Instead, the den spawn is replaced by a creature of the same species with a different ID, or a new species entirely.
Through gameplay, you see that the respawn rules that apply to you do not apply to other creatures. I’ve heard many points about how these dead creatures are transported to another alternate universe where they are alive, but I really do not want to delve into that theory. You do that yourself.
Excuse my unprofessional language, but this is kind of stupid. Billions and billions of little timeline splits accounting for every single insect and microbe that dies seems far too complex of a solution. Occam's Razor and all that.
With this gameplay element you see, I also want to give LORE explanations as to why this is incredibly stupid.
1) If death had no impact, the 5 natural urges would not matter
If no creatures died, there would be no point in eating (karma 4), competing with other species (karma 1), or any form of self preservation (karma 5). Reproduction (karma 2) has no role and there would be absolutely no reason to do anything any longer. All natural processes would be useless.
2) Light Blue Pearl
The information received from the cycle is most likely from the Light Blue Pearl, found in Outskirts.
“[...]The repeating mantra is important because it symbolizes the cyclical nature of life and death, and the termination verse is a symbol for ascension above and beyond it. I don't know how familiar you are with the nature of life and death, but I imagine like all living creatures you have some intuitive knowledge? Then you know that death isn't the end - birth and death are connected to each other like a ring, or some say a spiral. Some say a spiral that in turn forms a ring. Some ramble in agonizing longevity. But the basis is agreed upon: like sleep like death, you wake up again - whether you want to or not. This is true for all living things, but some actually break the cycle. That doesn't apply to you or me though, you are too entangled in your animal struggles, and for me not breaking that cycle is an integral part of the design. Our mantras keep repeating.”
“Then you know that death isn't the end - birth and death are connected to each other like a ring, or some say a spiral. Some say a spiral that in turn forms a ring.“
This line is very misunderstood. Moon specifically mentions birth and death. She mentions death. She never brings up the notion that nothing truly dies either.
As well as this, Moon says that “some say”, implying that even the ancients weren’t sure what the cycle was either. This is more important to my point regarding how the unfathomable nature of the cycle was why the Ancients were so averse to it from above, though.
------
“Sliver of Straw found the solution.”/"There is/isn't solution"
No she didn’t.
.
.
Ok fine I’ll explain.
If you’ve played Rain World you know that the purpose of the iterators is to find the solution to the “Great Problem”, the problem of how to ascend ALL living creatures.
You’ll also know Sliver sent out the Triple Affirmative…
“[...]affirmative that a solution has been found, affirmative that the solution is portable, and affirmative that a technical implementation is possible and generally applicable. She's also one of few that has ever been confirmed as exhaustively incapacitated, or dead. We do not die easily.[…]” - Pale Yellow (SL)
After sending out this affirmative, the iterators became conflicted. They never could figure out if she really ascended and had found the solution, or if it was some sort of catastrophic error.
The answer to the Great Problem is clearly intended to be as obscured as possible. There cannot be an answer one way or the other. The themes of it and the endless tolling of the iterators would not be as impactful if we knew there was or wasn’t a solution.
“[...]Either way, after that these different factions developed, as well as a huge forensic effort to recreate and simulate Sliver of Straw's last moments. Some of the simulations were wrapped in a simulation wrapped in a simulation, in case something dangerous might happen. Nothing much has come from it.[…]“ - Pale Yellow (SL)
Here’s my favorite way of explaining what I mean…
Imagine Schrodinger's Cat, the famous thought experiment. There’s a 50/50 chance that when you open the box, you either find the Solution, or find out there is No Solution.
Except you cannot open the box. And the box is entirely theoretical and nobody’s seen it. It seems impossible, but maybe one day you’ll find that box. That’s what the Great Problem is.
Sliver apparently having found the solution would have completely broken everything. Five Pebbles wouldn’t have ended up hurting himself and Moon had Sliver finding the solution been known with certainty. He was taking a shot in the dark.
------
“Ascension is akin to suicide.”
I strongly believe this point harms the role that ascension and the void sea play in Rain World’s narrative. Ascension is meant to be a final destination, a goal you build up to and prepare for when you’ve lived every bit of life you possible could, and can now move on.
Bringing up the Memory Crypt pearl from earlier, Seventeen Axes lived an incredibly fulfilling life from what we see, and ascended happily.
As well as this, Buddhism strongly encourages those who wish to liberate themselves to discover their own path, which is also subtly shown through the gameplay, as there are many many routes you can take to Five Pebbles, Looks To The Moon, and The Depths.
I do also think this is why Five Pebbles failed. He tried to brute force his way to ascension.
Suicide implies that ascension is only meant to be a fruitless escape and that it’s wrong to ascend. I… do not want to go into why suicide is bad. It’s a strong topic and I’m just here to talk about video games. But ascension is a neutral thing that you can choose to do or not do and to wait until you’re ready.
------
Conclusion...
I really only have the time to cover these 6 misconceptions, and I believe it should be enough. There have been many others I’ve seen, such as the ancients being malicious or that there weren’t any civilizations before them, but there’s not as much to say about them, and they aren’t as common.
Rain World is a very confusing game. I’m not upset at people who think these things to be true, and I do not believe they’re stupid or don’t have any media literacy. I just wish that the people who did actually cover this game did some more looking into it, and actually discussing it with Rain World fans.
Also I should say, that during this entire discussion I have avoided talking about Downpour- RW’s DLC- as it’s more of a official fanmade project. And so much of what it says may not be entirely in line with Vanilla. Because my life isn’t easy and of course there has to be an incredibly divisive and confusing thing like this that I need to avoid bringing up so that way the conversation isn’t muddled.
Thanks if you managed to make it through all this by the way
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writing tips - sick/poisoning fics
so since you guys ate up the injury thing like holy fuck 1.5k notes in 24 hours??? hello?? I thought I'd do a semi-related one about sickness.
disclaimer because you guys thoroughly reminded me of this: medicine is fucking weird and everybody reacts differently. this is blanket statement information, not the mayo clinic. idc that 'oh my cousin had that disease and he didn't have that symptom' okay whatever like sorry but that's not the point of this post. this is just to eliminate egregious mistakes. I'm not looking into every possible way this illness will show up. chill your tits. the comments on the last post were just like. dude. chill.
aurkay so.
poison-related illness.
okay poisoning is such a cool concept and there are literally so many cool effects it can have. Idk why everyone goes with the holy trinity of hallucinations, fainting and nausea. like yeah those are good but there are so many other things???
like internal bleeding. literally the best. I love it. It's slow but hella deadly and sometimes people can't even feel it/don't know what's happening. that's such a great option for whump or some angst. like they didn't know until it was too late. gold.
also - some poisons are not dissolvable in food or drink. Like certain medicines, they lose effectiveness if digested instead of injected intravenously. obviously you don't have to know that but if you wanna get into it, do a lil bit of research. could bring up some intriguing scenarios.
infection or sepsis
yoooo. sepsis is lowkey terrifying. infections are similar to actual illness but are caused because of an unsanitary wound. lots of interesting symptoms to browse here:
fever, cramps, fainting, hallucinations, dehydration, delirium, nausea, sores, sepsis, organ failure and on and on and on.
infection happens so fast too. like forget to change a bandage once and boom it could be infected. (is that a whump opportunity I hear...?)
sepsis is like the point of no return pretty much. Unless you've got crazy medical technology, sepsis is really really bad. basically, it's when the body overreacts and starts to damage its own tissue. leading to organ failure and then eventually death. spooky.
regular illness
this just means like a virus or something. a key point of viruses is an elevated temperature and dehydration; the body's primary responses. burn the bug out and dehydrate it.
depending on the illness, symptoms will vary. respiratory infections or viruses involve congestion, coughing, sore throats, a rattly breathing sound, and productive coughing (phlegm and mucus). Stomach illnesses include cramps, nausea, dehydration, dizziness, low blood sugar, weight loss, and diarrhea. these can overlap but mostly those are the groupings.
with fevers come achy joints and sensitive skin. fever is inflammation, like mild swelling everywhere because of how intense the antibody reaction is.
dehydration sets in really quick. really bad dehydration induces dizziness, nausea, diarrhea, delirium, lethargy, and fainting. great motivation for a whumper to possibly restrict whumpee's water intake...?
just some prompts! kinda low energy today sorry I haven't been posting, xox
#writing help#writing advice#how to write#fiction writing#creative writing#on writing#writblr#writing tips#writer#sickfic#fever whump#sickfic prompts
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HEALTH SHOULD ALWAYS COME FIRST! PRIORITISING HEALTH BEFORE EVERYTHING ELSE TO LOOK GOOD + FEEL GOOD.
People always leave out the basics when it comes to trying to improve their looks. Prioritising health is so important before going in and tempering with your body. Your base is what you work with and you can definitely level up with what you've got naturally.
DIET
Your diet also depends on what your goals are. Someone who wants to build muscle will obviously eat differently from someone who just eats relatively healthy. So identify what your goals are and work your meals around that.
Here are some videos to give you a better insight: HOW I LOSE FAT AND KEEP IT OFF MEANS, WORKOUTS + EVERYTHING ELSE PROTEIN EXPLAINED, STRENGTH, MUSCLES, FAT LOSS & ENDURANCE HOW METABOLISM WORKS
Diet not only makes you feel better from the inside, but it also reflects on your outside. Your skin is a huge display of how you eat.
When you consume junk food, it can show up on your skin as breakouts or dullness. Your skin is one massive organ which soaks up everything put onto it and reflects everything you put inside your body. Fix the problem from the inside before getting confused about why your skincare routine isn't working.
FITNESS
Again, your fitness will differentiate from your goals. So work out your goals and make a plan around that. There are so many forms of fitness, some more intense than others and with different results. Working out in general is good for you, our bodies are meant to move. So even if you don't have a goal, staying active is always recommended.
HOW TO CREATE THE PERFECT WORKOUT PLAN
THE BEST WAY TO GAIN MUSCLE, SCIENCE EXPLAINED SIMPLY
Low-intensity workouts:
Yoga: Focuses on flexibility, strength, and relaxation through various poses and breathing techniques.
Pilates: A low-impact exercise method that strengthens muscles, improves flexibility, and enhances posture.
Walking: Simple yet effective, walking is a great way to improve cardiovascular health and boost mood without high impact.
Swimming: Provides a full-body workout with minimal stress on joints, making it ideal for people with joint issues or injuries.
High-intensity workouts:
HIIT (High-Intensity Interval Training): Alternates between short bursts of intense exercise and brief recovery periods to maximize calorie burn and improve cardiovascular fitness.
CrossFit: Combines elements of weightlifting, interval training, gymnastics, and other exercises to build strength, endurance, and overall fitness.
Sprinting: Short, explosive bursts of running at maximum effort, often performed in intervals for cardiovascular conditioning and leg muscle strength.
Circuit Training: Involves moving through a series of exercises targeting different muscle groups with minimal rest in between, combining strength training and cardiovascular exercise.
These are just a few examples, but there are plenty of other workout styles out there to explore depending on your preferences and fitness goals. Walking every day is just a simple way to stay toned.
SLEEP
Sleeping is important for rest and recovery after workouts and energy-consuming activities. Sleep is needed for the brain to function, mood regulation and performance + productivity. Lack of sleep deprives you of all of these things, so getting your beauty sleep is absolutely needed.
School-age children (6-13 years): 9-11 hours per day.
Teenagers (14-17 years): 8-10 hours per day.
Young adults (18-25 years): 7-9 hours per day.
Adults (26-64 years): 7-9 hours per day.
HYGIENE
Upkeeping good hygiene is always needed anyway. Making sure you are clean (smelling good is a plus). Make sure you always wash your hands and take daily showers to remove any dirt on your body (clean those feet and your back well, don't forget them!). Taking care of your oral health must not be forgotten. Oil pulling and brushing your tongue for a healthy mouth. Make sure your hair is also getting the attention to keep it as healthy as you possibly can make it (this also depends on diet). Doing the extra things like spending time on your nails (making sure there isn't that stuff underneath them), making them pretty.
BODY CARE ROUTINE | FOR SMOOTH & GLOWING SKIN, TREATING KERATOSIS PILARIS, SHOWER ROUTINE
ENVIRONMENT
Having a stress-free environment is obviously the best to thrive in. But clearly not even being lucky enough to live like that constantly. So make sure you have that space to be on your own and have some alone time to really recharge. Keeping your space clean for a clear mind. Surround yourself with like-minded people and really set boundaries for those who prey on your mental clarity (energy vampires). Spending time in nature is one of the best ways to detach, rest time should not equal spending time on your devices. Let go and truly let yourself decompress. Mental health will improve how you carry yourself.
EMBODY YOUR POTENTIAL.
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SUNFLOWER - HAN
pairing - spiderman!bf!han ♥︎ fem!reader
genre: angst & comfort
word count: 1.8k
warnings: cursing, reader thinks Han died, shitty writing that I thought was good at first
summary : Han led a double life, being your loveable boyfriend to Spiderman in the blank of an eye, obviously always putting himself in harms way for the sake of Brooklyn. You knew this about him, doesn’t mean it doesn’t scare you to death whenever he gets hurt.
A tap on the window stops your thoughts.
It’s 10pm on a Tuesday, so a knock on the window of your 7 floor apartment building in the middle of a dangerous city isn’t very, well, welcoming.
Carefully, you stand up, not failing to grab the hard baseball bat laying in you closet for moments like these.
Slowly and quietly, you make your way to the window, opening it and putting your weapon into batting position before your eyes lock onto the man behind the glass.
“Woah woah, baby. It’s just me.” Han defends, holding his arms in the air as if he had just been wrongly convicted. “Why do you have the bat.”
“Damnit Hannie! How many times have I told you to stop doing that!” You huff out, dropping the baseball bat out your hands as he chuckles and climbs in.
“Hey, honey~.” He teases in a sing song voice, wrapping his arms around your torso after closing the window. You can feel the warmth of his body, but you’re still upset.
“I’m going to seriously hit you if you keep doing that.” You pout, turning your head from him in fake anger; it’s hard to be mad at him for long.
“Don’t worry, cutie. It won’t hurt anyways.” He winks, causing an even deeper pout to form on your lips.
“Hmm, you still upset? Lemme kiss that pout off your lips then.” He grins, then he’s kissing you.
It’s sweet and slow, saying words lips can’t. His hands move from around your torso to your waist, giving the flesh a tight squeeze. You love kisses like these with him so much that you can almost forget what you had seen on tv earlier in the day.
Keyword : almost
A highly wanted criminal had escaped the prison early in the morning, and Han— well, SpiderMan was tasked with stopping him, which he didn’t.
They had ran into eachother near the Brooklyn Museum, and things escalated from there. Spiderman was injured slightly, and while you know that he heals fast, knowing exactly who was under that costume made your heart ache every time he got so much as a scratch on his body.
You pull away slowly, and Han furrows his brows. “Baby, are you still hurt?”
He bites his lip, the look in his eyes turning almost somber. He doesn’t like when you worry about him, not because he doesn’t like the attention, but because it makes him feel guilty.
Sometimes he wishes he could take all the worry you have about him and bury it far away, but he knows that for as long as he wears that suit, you’ll be worried about him.
“I’m fine, y/n. Don’t worry about me, okay?” He consoles, giving you one last peck on the lips. “Why don’t you get some sleep while I finish some paperwork work, hmm, bubs? It’s late.”
You frown at this, studying the look on his face intensely before you move away and sigh.
“Okay. You’ll be in bed soon though right?” You look up at him, and he can’t help but put his smile back on his face.
“In no more than an hour, hun.” He assures, moving towards the bathroom to take a quick shower before starting. “I won’t be long”
You make your way to the one bedroom in your shared apartment, mind still caught up in the events of the day.
You knew that the one who had escaped was very dangerous and had hurt hundreds of people before he was finally locked up for good. The fact that he was now free formed an aura of uneasiness around you and the entirety of New York City, and it was evident.
The streets were quieter; a horrible sign in the city that never seems to sleep. You could feel it in the air that everyone was on high alert, including your boyfriend.
The paper work he was doing? All of it was connected to him. He was a serious threat, and it was scaring you. The last thing you wanted was for Han to get seriously injured.
It’s happened once before when you guys had already been dating for a while, right around the time he told you that he was Spiderman.
He got beat up pretty brutally, and it had struck a fear in you that you hadn’t even known existed.
The fear of losing him.
That night when he returned, you held on to him and cried for hours. He desperately tried to comfort you, running his hands across your back and telling you he was fine.
Even if he was though, you’d still worry about him.
How could you not.
◂—♥︎—▸
It’s 5pm now, and you had just got off of work.
As you walk through the city, the feelings of brisk, autumn air soothing you, you realize it’s been too quiet. Even quieter than it had been yesterday.
You hadn’t been on your phone since it’s muted during your work hours, and you like to keep it that way until you get to your apartment, but you’re starting to think you should check it.
Nevertheless, you keep your regular pattern, walking until you reach the familiar building and door, walking in.
The anxiety is still eating at you, so you’re not surprised when you find your self turning on your TV and going to your local news station.
What does surprise you though, is when you see a live video of Spiderman laying on the harsh concrete clutching his side.
The air leaves your lungs, being filled with something else. Something thin, something dreadful.
It’s fear.
Your fearful eyes are glued to the screen. You want to look away, but it’s as if there’s an invisible force forcing you to stare at the TV.
It’s your worst fear broadcasted on live television, and there’s nothing you can do about it. All you can do is let the tears roll pitifully down your cheeks as the reports ramble on and on about his health, but you don’t want to listen. All you can do is pray.
Pray that those days where he held you weren’t going to come to an end. Pray that the times where he would swoop you up and take you to the roof of various buildings wouldn’t come to a close. Pray that even while it pissed you off, he would still be crawling through that window in your bedroom at the dead of night. That’s all you needed.
Him.
◂—♥︎—▸
You don’t know how long you had been there, but you don’t flinch when you hear the apartment door crack open.
You do move when you see who walks through the door.
There, a very beat up Jisung makes his way through the door, bruises and scars littering his arms. Cuts are all over his pretty face, causing a red tint all over. That’s all you can see through his tank top and long pants, but you know it must be worse.
You don’t know how you process all that, because once you register that it’s him, your running towards him faster than you’ve ever ran.
“J-Ji.?” You manage to stutter out, touching his skin delicately as if he could shatter, and honestly, you were scared he would. “Ji! O-oh my god! I t-thought you d-died!”
He grabs onto your hips, pulling you into his chest and rubing your back to console you. It usually works, but today, it’s only making the tears flow harder.
“What? Sweetheart, I’m fi-“ but you weren’t hearing it.
“Fine..? FINE!? You were not fine! I watched you lay there on the ground almost dead and you want to tell me you were fine?! I don’t know how much longer I can sit there and watch you ALMOST DIE, just for you to come home and say you’re fine, Han! I can’t take it.”
Your rambling angrily, stopping when you read the look in hans eyes.
fear & despair
“W-what do you mean by how much longer. Please don’t m-mean what I think you mean.” You can see the tears forming in his eyes as he pieces together your words and your shacked with guilt, taking a deep breath before speaking again.
“No. I don’t mean that at all. I-I’m just emotional. Just g-give me a minute to think, and then we can talk.” You whisper that last sentence, turning around and walking out of the shared living room, leaving behind a very shattered Jisung standing there, hand out as if to reach for you, but missing.
Missing by a long, long, shot.
◂—♥︎—▸
It’s not too long until you find yourself walking out of the bedroom, finding Han laying on the couch, seemingly staring into nothing, and this only makes you feel more guilty.
“Hey.” You start, seeing as Hans head swiftly turns towards your direction, eyebags heavy.
Have these tears always been blocking your vision?
“Listen. I am so, so, so sorry for how I acted. It was so wrong of me to yell and scream at you when you were still injured, especially to the point you would think I would even ever consider breaking up with you. I don’t want you to think being Spiderman is a burden for me, I was just emotionally overwhelmed and I am sorry.” You start, watching as his eyes slowly start to twinkle with tears.
Have these tears always been rolling down your cheeks?
“I just…can’t stand watching you get hurt. The thought of you.. n-not coming home kills me. You mean the most to me that anything or anyone ever has in all of my lifetimes, and the thought of losing you? It fucking scares me. But I shouldn’t have yelled at you or pushed you away. I’m sorry, Ji.”
He’s sat up by now, grabbing your hands in his. His eyes are sunken, and he still has various scars on his face, but the bruises have faded by now. You wish you could kiss all his pain away, but it’s hard to when it’s the emotional kind now and you feel as if it’s your fault.
“It’s okay, I understand. But listen to me, that’s never going to happen. I’m never ever going to leave you here by yourself. You will always have me. Until we grow old and much farther, I will never leave you.”
His words fill you with the sort of comfort you hadn’t felt for a long time, settling the aching in your heart that you carried for longer than you care to remember.
You knew there was going to be countless times where he was going to get endangered in the future, and you were never going to stop worrying about him. But for now, you felt at peace with him, your Spiderman.
Your hero.
back to masterlist
A/N : oh my goodness… proofreading this day of post is hard. I write a story and think it’s hits, then I go back and read it and it’s horrible…
#stray kids#straykids x reader#stray kids x reader#skz x reader#skz#han x reader#han jisung x reader#straykids fluff#han fluff
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juicy couture + shinsou please !! love your blog 🎀💖
real or cap??
♱ shinsou x reader, fake dating stylez 🫢
♱ 1000 follower special ♱
♱ 2.2K words!
Hitoshi had so many other things he could be doing - studying for a class he actually took, for example. Instead, he sat stuffing his face with chips as you ranted at him about something called 'The Doppler Effect'.
This poor psych major's head was about to explode.
You faltered at the bewilderment on your friend's face and slumped down next to him with a groan. "I'm so fucked, 'toshi."
"You're notttt," He yawned. Hitoshi lifted his arms up to stretch, and you looked away quickly - ever since Mina pointed his happy trail you crumbled a little inside.
It was extremely distracting.
You cleared your throat, and pushed yourself up, snatching the bowl away from him.
"Hey!"
"'Scuse me?" You huff, "I need to eat too so I'm not drunk after two shots tonight."
Hitoshi froze. There was a pause. His voice came out meek, like a scared mouse.
"What."
You snorted at his blank face. His eyebags weren't as bad today, but they still cast a shadow on his pale face. The panic on his face made him look like a horror movie character at that moment.
"We're going out tonight? With Mina and Denki?"
Hitoshi's eyes widened, and let out a small 'fuck' under his breath. He desperately avoided your gaze, but still he shook his head in protest.
"Nope."
"Fuck you mean 'nope'?" You scoffed. It was a struggle getting Shinsou to come out with you all, but you knew he did actually enjoy everyone's company. His intense lack of energy balanced the other three of you surprisingly well.
He slumped back into the cushions and smothered himself in one of the pillows, groaning into it like a teenage girl. You chuckled at the adult baby and poked his shoulder. "You're coming. You even agreed on the group chat!"
"BUT I DON'T WANT TO-"
"TOO BAD."
:::
As Hitoshi stood at the entrance of 'The Three Boars' he'd never wanted to turn into a turtle and sink into his shell more.
You, on the other hand, stood beside him with a bright grin. And a very small outfit, he'd noted when he picked you up. He'd spent the Uber over gulping every time your skirt rode up and good god when you walked in front of him-
"Ready?"
He broke out of trance and looked at you. A frown crept on his face, but no real ill intent sat behind it because the smile on yours stopped it. He nodded.
Your hand brushed against his, and for some reason the hairs on the back of his neck stood attention. Your fingers reached out hesitantly, like you wanted to curl them into his palm and tug him along. But you didn’t.
Instead, you strode forward in front him and he found himself staring up, because he know if he didn’t, his eyes would find themselves glued to the backs of your thighs.
It was loud in the bar with music thrumming through the floor and people hollering at each other at the tops of their lungs. Two people managed to stand out in the crowd though - those two obviously being your two friends.
Mina and Denki are scream-laughing at strangers dancing, clearly already off their tits. Mina catches your eye and screams - the whole bar jumps at the shrill sound, but she pays no mind and hurtles towards you.
You laugh and hug her. "Y/n, I have a secret, c'mere," she mumbles. You stifle a laugh and lend her your ear. She cups her hand around your ear and... makes a fart noise.
Denki comes up behind up the two of you and cackles at the both of you. Shinsou can't help but let out a little snort at the sight. Seeing you smile would always make him the smile, anyways.
"Should we get drinks?" You ask. It's pointed at Shinsou, but Mina screeches 'yes' and drags you to the bar. You send a ‘sorry’ look at Hitoshi, and he just shrugs with a smile. You order your drinks and sit with Mina at the stools.
She's patting her hair back into place, eyes searching for the yellow-haired boy in the crowd. God knows where he's taken poor Shinsou.
You can see the look on her face - it's more obvious now she's drunk. Furrowed brows, jutted out lip and she's curled into herself a little bit more. "You still haven't told him?" You pry.
She jumps at your question and moves a pink curl from her eye. "No..."
"He's crazy about you," You sigh. The bartender puts your drinks down, you thank him, and take a sip- fuck, it's strong.
She raises a brow and rests her clumsy head against her hand. "Nahhhhh, he isn't."
"Yes, he is!"
"No, he isn't!"
"Mina-"
"Plus, can you even talk?"
That shuts you up, and your face twists in confusion. You let out a breathless laugh, "You're so drunk, dude-"
"Okayyy?" She says, an evil grin lighting up her dark eyes. "Hitoshi still has a big, fat crush on youuuuu," she sings. Her finger comes up and boops your nose, much to your dismay.
You waft her finger away and take a glance at the boy across the room. Both boys are sat down, Denki on some rant that includes waving his arms around like a car dealership blow-up. Your eyes drift to the purple haired boy.
He's sat back in his chair, his jacket off and arms straining at the short sleeves of his cotton shirt, and he does his signature stretch - the one that you 'hate' so much. Your eyes betray you, and your glancing down at the dark strip of hair leading to his belt-
"Jesus, just ask him out already. The whole room can feel you eye-fucking him, Y/n," Mina slurs. You snap your attention back to her with hot cheeks and shove her lightly. She's stuck between giggling at you and looking at something behind you.
A hand on your shoulder makes you jump out of your skin. You let out a small shout, and spin around. A tall guy looms over with a leering smile - it makes your skin crawl - and eyes drawing everywhere but your face.
He’s got dark, greasy hair and black eyes that look like pits into whatever ‘soul’ he has. There’s an air around him filled with arrogance, douchery, and frankly, danger.
"You single?" He drawls. He's uncomfortably close - nearly caging you in against the bar, with one hand on the counter behind you. The other hand is busy holding an empty pint of beer that you're thinking hasn't been his first.
Mina's watching the both of you with wide eyes, mouth opening and closing like a fish. You shake your head and laugh with anxiety. "I'm not interested, sorry," You mutter and slide off the stool.
Mina joins you and you're pushing through the crowd. She's in front of you, and you're nearly at the table, but there's a hand on your arm. It's holding tight.
A yelp leaves your lips but Mina's already through the crowd, probably at the table. You’re pulled back into the chest of the guy, and his face reeks of alcohol. A horrible grin spreads across yellow teeth and he flips his dark hair out of his face.
"I asked if you're single, so answer the question, sweetheart." He slurs, nose almost touching yours.
You tried to wrench your arm out of his grip, panic rising. The thrumming in your ears is getting louder, but your throat is so dry that nothing will come out. The few sips you had of your drink are making you foggy, but you know you need to move.
You managed to push some words out. "Listen, I just wanna sit with my friends-"
He presses himself against you, and your heart feels like it's going to burst out of your chest when he moves his mouth next to your ear. "Why can't we be friends?"
There’s a beat where you’re not really sure what happens, but something does.
You blink and you're free, a waft of air making you shiver for a second.
There's a back in front of you - a back you recognise immediately as Shinsou's, and his familiar smell of lavender and cedarwood fills your brain with the same feeling second-hand smoke from Denki’s blunts do.
The guy scoffs loudly and peers around Shinsou, gesturing at you with a pointed finger.
"She didn't fuckin' tell me she had a boyfriend! She was leadin' me on-"
Hitoshi let’s put a groan and puts his hands to his temples, “Shut the fuck up? Please?". He’s scowling, arms crossed, looming over Creep Mcgee. It's apparent he's a foot taller than the moron, the width of his shoulder making the two of them look like a comical before and after gym-plan ad.
If you hadn't been so shaken, you'd have laughed.
Instead, you found your hand subconsciously wrapping around Shinsou's bicep and glancing up at him. His gaze was steely and dark through narrowed eyes, and his tongue poked through his cheek.
The guy moved to say something again, but Shinsou shook his head. It was a warning, if anything.
Creep McGee just sighed and left, muttering things about you.
A few people had been watching, but they got bored and went back to their dancing and drinking. He looked down at you and his face softened, clenched jaw turning into a small smile on his lips.
"You okay?"
You nodded and tightened your grip on his arm. Your legs were shaking a bit, but you were alive so you couldn't complain.
He gave you a once-over and took your hand off his arm, holding it instead in his own. He looked at it for a second, and Mina's earlier words flashed in your mind.
"Hitoshi still has a big, fat crush on youuuuuu."
The memory made your face go hot again. Shinsou huffed, and started leading you to the door.
"No- I don't want to ruin it, I wanna stay for a bit-"
Hitoshi let out a chuckle in front of you and looked back with a smile you thought you'd swoon over. "We're jus' gettin' you some air, kay?"
His voice was soft and warm and felt like a million hugs and lit you on fire. You nodded obediently and let him lead you outside to sit on the curb a few steps from the door.
You sat clumsily, tugging your skirt down while Shinsou shook his head at you.
"Why do you even wear that stuff? It's always stressful for you," He asked as you finally sat next to him.
"'Cus it's cute? What, do I look bad?" You asked with a cheeky smile, nudging him.
He went quiet for a minute and looked out into the street, eyes following the passing cars. "Nah. You look beautiful." He admitted quietly.
Your heart jumps into your throat at his words. Your hair stands on end, and you feel like you've been electrocuted by Denki with the tingles and shivers flying across your skin.
You turn into Mina for a minute, and open-an-close your mouth like a fish. "...Thanks, boyfriend."
Hitoshi snorts and pushes your shoulder with a teasing smile. "Yeah, you wish, Y/n."
"Yeah, I do," you reply without a beat. You don't even realise what you've said before Shinsou turns to you with wide eyes.
Your hands fly up to smack your mouth in panic. What the fuck? Why would you say that! Y/n, for fuck's sake-
But a grin breaks out on his face, lighting up his violet eyes and they shine in the lamppost's light above him. Fuck, he looks like an angel with the white light halo-ing him, outlining his silhouette like a movie screenshot.
"Yeah?" He asks, and his voice has lowered a bit. His teasing tone is gone, and there's something different, you've never heard before - it's electrifying.
Hitoshi's inched forwards, and his eyes are flitting from your eyes to your bitten lips, making your body shake in anticipation. You know you're doing the same, watching his gaze on you darken and his lips form a shit-eating smirk he'll use to annoy you later.
But you don't give a fuck, because you nod.
He moves fluidly, hand snaking up to cup your neck, half in your hair, and rush you towards his lips. A muttered 'fuck' leaves his mouth before he kisses you, and it's everything you've ever imagined.
He tastes like tobacco - a habit he pretends he doesn't indulge in - and minty gum, making your head spin more than it already is. He's soft, moving with your mouth slowly and taking you in.
Your hand rests on his chest, and you can feel his heart hammer at an unhealthy rate. Air is rushing out of you, so you force yourself to separate from Hitoshi. It’s reluctant, and you wish you could spend all your time against the soft pillows that are his lips, but unfortunately you require oxygen to survive. A cruel reality.
You're both panting into the cold air, staring at each other. A little giggle escapes you, and Hitoshi laughs, and then you both end up in a fit of laughter with your hands still cradling the other.
"Boyfriend?" Hitoshi asks contemplatively, pretending to think it over. You snort and hit him on the chest.
"Take me out on a date, first, pushy."
He grins and pecks your nose, hand still cradling the back of your neck. "I guess I'll have to, then."
"Well, in that case... can you go get me another drink? I left mine on the bar-"
"Good God, Y/n."
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#{ 1000 special }#bnha#bnha x reader#mha#mha x reader#mha fluff#bnha fluff#shinsou#hitoshi shinsou#shinsou x reader#hitoshi shinsou x reader#shinsou fluff#shinsou x reader fluff#bnha x reader fluff#bnha fake dating
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I'm sure this has been said a dozen times already, but it always baffles me when people say "Hannigram isn't canon" , "Hannibal is queerbaiting", "the show should've made them canon" or anything similar to that. I see it less on tumblr, but have seen it elsewhere and it's like, did we watch the same show? Just because they're not making out sloppy style or having intense gay sex on screen doesn't mean they're not into each other?
Like there's a scene where Will straight up asks "is Hannibal in love with me?" and gets a confirming answer. Theres a scene where Hannibal compares them to Achilles and Patroclus. Hannibal turns himself in to the FBI despite being able to escape and he does it for Will! Hannibal is so completely, deeply obsessed with Will because he loves Will. The show makes it explicit time and time again that Hannibal is in love with Will.
And Will is very much into Hannibal as well. I think for Will it might seem less obvious at times, after all, he had a wife and a kid while Hannibal was imprisoned. But ultimately there's a reason why Will chooses to free Hannibal and go with him. They kill the dragon together and Will is the one who says how beautiful it is. Will outright admitted that he wanted to run away with Hannibal, and that want never actually left him.
The show itself coined the term "murder husbands". A character in canon calls Hannibal and Will that. Hannibal refers to himself and Will as Abigail's fathers. They wanted to run away together and be a family. The finale of those two on the cliff embracing and covered in blood is like the most romantic scene ever shown on tv.
Characters do not need to kiss on screen to be canonically in love!
And I think with this show that statement is especially true because of how many times characters *do* kiss and have sex, and it means nothing. Hannibal had sex with Alana as a way to manipulate her and have her blind to what he was doing. He didn't do it out of love. Margot didn't have sex with Will because she was attracted to him. The show displays very obviously that those things don't necessarily equal attraction, and I think it's completely fine that Will and Hannibal never do something like that. Their attraction to each other is still there!
#genuinely will never understand how anyone could watch this show and come to the conclusion that its queerbaiting#hannibal#hannigram#will graham#nbc hannibal
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