#i mean i recognise that my judgement of what is good is different from that of another group of people's judgement

[8cfc00]

cant believe my posts have not been explodinf w notes this is so fucked im drawing grant wilson mitski a pearl

[st4rtar0t]

Helping your recognise your superpower

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Thank you so much for your time and energy and I hope you have a great day ahead!

Picture 1

Your lust for knowledge is your superpower. And I know you may think that is a lame power to have but I do want to your realise that knowledge is everything. The more knowledgeable you are, the more mature you become. Maturity comes from a sense of understanding and experience. The way you're always ready to learn new things makes you unique. Some of could be an higher achiver, or your sense of self comes from your academic performance. I think it's good to be knowledge but don't bring yourself down when you don't perform well. Give yourself time to learn and revise.

Your another superpower is your ability to look at situations from different perspectives. You know sometimes our pain clouds our vision making it difficult to acknowledge the hurt of others. But not for you, no matter how bad your situation is, you wouldn't let your emotions cloud your judgement Which is an remarkable ability.

Your faith, whether in yourself, in others or in something greater than us all, gives you strength and resilience in times of difficulty. Your belief in humanity, your trust in kindness and your faith in the possibility of a better future awaiting us uplifts not only you but also the people around you.

Picture 2

Your planning is your superpower. It's like having a secret weapon in life. When you plan, you're like a master strategist, able to foresee obstacles and navigate around them. You can set goals and figure out the steps to reach them. Planning helps you stay organized, focused, and prepared for whatever comes your way. It's not just about making lists; it's about taking control of your future and making things happen. So, embrace your planning abilities, because they can truly make you unstoppable. Some of you could be INTJ/ENTJ.

Your another superpower is your protectiveness. It's your ability to shield and guard the ones you care about, keeping them safe from harm. Just like a superhero, you have an instinct to watch over others, anticipating dangers and swooping in to shield them from harm. Your protective nature is a strength that shines brightly, offering comfort and security to those around you. Embrace this superpower, for it is a reflection of your love and dedication to keeping your loved ones out of harm's way. you may think that this makes you more feminine but caring for the people that you makes you stronger. Your constant transformation is your superpower because it means you're always evolving, learning, and adapting. Instead of being stuck in one way of thinking or doing things, you embrace change and use it to your advantage. You're like a chameleon, able to adjust to any situation or challenge that comes your way. This flexibility allows you to grow stronger, wiser, and more resilient with each transformation. So, don't fear change, embrace it, because it's what makes you unstoppable.

Picture 3

Your love for others is your superpower because it has the ability to transform lives in ways beyond imagination. When you extend kindness, understanding, and support to those around you, you create an atmosphere of warmth and positivity. Your love has the power to heal wounds, mend broken hearts, and inspire greatness in others. It's a force that spreads joy, brings people together, and fosters deep connections. Through your love, you become a beacon of hope and strength, capable of uplifting the spirits of those who may be struggling.

Your powerful presence is like a superpower. It's all about how you carry yourself and how you make others feel when you're around. You don't need special abilities because you are your own strength. People notice you without you having to do anything flashy. Your confidence and the way you connect with others make you stand out. Your presence is like a magnet, attracting attention and admiration wherever you go. It's what makes you truly remarkable.

Your voice and the words you choose have immense power. When you speak, it's like magic weaving through the air, touching hearts and minds. The tone, pitch, and rhythm of your voice can convey emotions and messages in ways that no other form of communication can. And the words you select? They're like arrows hitting their target, shaping thoughts, inspiring actions, and building connections. Whether you're calming a storm with soothing words or igniting a fire with passionate speech.

[saintsenara]

Thoughts on Ron and Hermione as a ship?

thank you very much for the ask, @thesilverstarling!

i’ll state my position straight away: book ron and hermione are the best of the canon couples.

they will have a long and extremely happy marriage made rich by great and stalwart love, lust, fun, and faithfulness, rather than held together by duty and couples’ therapy like so many readers and authors (including jkr, who seems to have decided to spend the years since the conclusion of the series failing to understand anything about her own characters) tend to think.

i will state another position straight away: lest i seem like i’m just a fan with blinkers on, i think this even though hermione is, by far, my least favourite member of the trio. if she were real i would detest her, and i dislike how she is treated by the narrative as always justified in her negative characteristics. i like fanon hermione - perfect and preternaturally good - even less.

as a result, i think that it’s ridiculous that jkr has said that she thought ron needed to ‘become worthy’ of hermione. they belong together as equals - which is what they’re set up in the narrative as being from the off - and i hate seeing that undermined.

because ronald weasley? he’s an icon. and he doesn’t get anywhere near the respect he deserves in fandom.

there are multiple reasons for this - ron’s narrative purpose is to be the everyman sidekick, and so he is able to be less special than harry or hermione (the helper-figure); the amount of aristocracy wank in this fandom means that the weasleys’ ordinariness is less appealing to writers than making harry have twenty different lordships and call himself hadrian; the narrative interrogates ron’s flaws - especially his capacity for jealousy - much more intensively than it interrogates either hermione’s (cruel, inflexible, meddling) or harry’s (reckless, self-absorbed, judgemental) - but one i feel is particularly significant is that ron is such a british character that many of his traits are not understood as intended by non-british readers.

in particular - as is outlined in this excellent meta by @whinlatter - ron’s sense of humour isn’t indicative of immaturity or a lack of seriousness, but is, in fact, evidence that he’s the most emotionally aware of the trio.

ron is shown throughout the series to understand how both harry and hermione need to have their emotions approached - and i think there is no piece of writing which says this better than crocodile heart by @floreatcastellumposts:

That was what she liked most about Ron, she thought vaguely. He was very good at being suitably outraged on your behalf. For Harry, for her, for Neville. That sort of thing mattered, when you were hurt or embarrassed or wronged in some way. You needed to have someone else on your side, to be as emotional as you felt, maybe even more so, so that you might feel a bit more normal. It was very decent of him, and she was not sure he realised he did it.

ron’s inherent emotional awareness is an enormous source of comfort to other people. he does the work which isn’t flashy or special - he makes tea and tells jokes and is just there - but which is needed in healthy human relationships far more frequently than a willingness to fight to the death for the other person.

[as an aside, this normality - even though i think it is assumed rather than justified by the text - is also what ginny provides for harry. if you believe that hinny are a good couple but romione aren’t… i can’t help you.]

but let’s look at some specific reasons why ron and hermione belong together:

their communication styles mesh perfectly. ron is the only person hermione knows who feeds her love of being challenged and debated, and who is able to engage in this way of communicating without becoming irate when she refuses to back down. ron is good at picking his battles, but he’s also good at recognising that hermione’s tendency to argue isn’t intended to be confrontational a lot of the time - it’s just the way she works through feelings and problems. he’s far more easy-going about her tendency to nag, interrupt, try to provoke arguments, or speak condescendingly than he’s given credit for - and hermione evidently respects this, since when he does tell her not to push a situation (above all, when she’s trying to needle harry into talking about sirius), she listens to him.

that ron and hermione’s tendency to bicker is taken by fans to be a bad thing is because it’s something harry - from whose perspective the narrative is written - doesn’t understand. harry is extremely conflict-avoidant - he tends to take being pushed on views and opinions he has to be insulting; and he has a tendency to assume that he is right which is just as profound as hermione’s. he and ginny communicate not by debating, but by ginny having no time for his rigidity and refusing to indulge it - but ron and hermione bickering about everything is not a negative thing within their specific emotional dynamic.

[as another aside, this glaring chasm in communication styles is why harry and hermione would be a disaster as a couple.]

they each provide validation the other needs. it’s clear - reading between the lines - that hermione is a tremendously lonely person. the friendlessness of her initial few weeks at hogwarts seems to be a continuation of her experience as a child, and - outside of ron and harry - that friendlessness endures through her schooldays. i’m always struck, for example, by the fact that, when she falls out with ron in prisoner of azkaban, she has no-one else to spend time with, and that this is only avoided in half-blood prince because harry decides not to freeze her out. i don’t think her friendship with ginny is anywhere near as close as fanon seems to imply (ginny has no interest in being nagged either), nor do i think that she’s anywhere near as close to neville (not least because she is so condescending to him) as she’s often written to be.

and this loneliness seems to stretch beyond hogwarts. the absence of hermione’s parents’ from the narrative is - in a doylist sense - clearly just a device to maximise time with the trio all together, but the watsonian reading is that she doesn’t have a particularly good relationship with them. hermione’s obviously upper-middle-class background - the name! the skiing! the holidays in the south of france! - can be presumed, i think, to come with a series of expectations from her parents which she feels constantly that she’s not entirely meeting, particularly expectations attached to academic success.

[for example, the grangers - were she a muggle child - would undoubtedly have ambitions for her to attend an elite university and then go into a prestigious career. tertiary education of the type that they’re familiar with doesn’t seem to exist in the wizarding world - most careers seem to be taught by apprenticeship - and this, alongside all the other divides between the magical and muggle worlds which contribute to the distance between them, would be one very obvious area in which she felt the need to prove herself to them.]

ron, too, has quite a difficult relationship with his position in the family - voldemort’s locket is not wrong to point out that he seems to receive considerably less of his mother’s emotional attention than ginny or the rest of his brothers - and he too is constrained by expectations which he doesn’t know how to explain he has no interest in - above all, molly’s desire for her sons to achieve top grades and go into the ministry.

he also suffers while at hogwarts from being ‘harry potter’s best friend’, something which harry never appreciates. but hermione does. she recognises ron’s jealousy and never allows harry to minimise it (and she and ron are very much aligned on having no respect for harry’s saviour and martyr complexes). she appreciates ron’s strengths - above all his kindness and his sense of humour - and makes him feel as though he’s achieved things with them. and ron does the same for her; he is hugely observant when it comes to her, and he challenges and defends her.

the two of them clearly spend a lot of time together one-on-one while harry’s involved in his various shenanigans (including outside of school - hermione has often arrived at the burrow days or even weeks before harry, and they seem to write to each other frequently when apart). they do this within a relationship which is fundamentally equal. one issue with hinny is that, post-war, harry is going to have to get used to seeing ginny as a peer, rather than as someone he has to protect. but ron and hermione never have that issue - equality is baked into their relationship from the off.

because, to be quite frank, fandom overstates the role that jealousy plays in their relationship. it’s true that ron certainly doesn’t acquit himself brilliantly when it comes to hermione’s relationship with viktor krum (it’s because he’s bi and doesn’t know it yet), and a tendency to externalise his insecurity into trying to make others also feel insecure is one of his primary negative traits (hermione does this too, via her patented lofty voice when she’s trying to condescend to people). but this is often taken as the initial red flag for how the relationship would crash and burn, and ron’s toxic jealousy is often used in fan-fiction as the trigger for emotional and physical violence towards hermione which, frequently, seems to drive her into the arms of either draco malfoy or severus snape… who are, of course, the first people we think of when we hear the words ‘not prone to jealousy’...

but i think it’s important to point out several things in defence of ron’s jealousy over krum. firstly, hermione evidently regards his jealousy as ridiculous - she’s upset by it, yes, but her upset must be understood as being caused by the fact that she wanted him to ask her out. she doesn’t think he’s being possessive, she thinks he’s being stupid. secondly, hermione is equally as jealous over ron’s crush on fleur delacour and relationship with lavender brown. she behaves just as cruelly when it comes to lavender as ron does when it comes to krum - and the narrative only treats her actions as more sympathetic or justified both because harry dislikes lavender too, and because, by that point in the series, jkr has dispensed with any inclination to ever criticise her.

but, outside of this teenage pettiness, ron is never jealous of hermione over things which matter. he is never jealous of her intelligence or competence or ambition or success (indeed, he defends her constantly from attacks designed to undermine her in these areas). for someone who struggles with being overshadowed by harry, he is never upset at being overshadowed by her. he is clearly going to be happy to support her in any of the career ambitions she can be written as having post-war.

and, on this point, i think it’s worth interrogating why so many readers still seem to feel uncomfortable with the idea of ron and hermione having a dynamic where she is the more ‘powerful’ one. [it’s always a bit trite to say ‘but what if the genders were reversed?’, but actually that’s not irrelevant here]. if hermione ends up taking the ministry by storm and ron becomes a stay-at-home father or has a job which is just to pay the bills, what, precisely, is wrong with that? why, precisely, should hermione regard ron making that choice for himself as a negative thing? hermione so often seems to leave ron in fan-fiction because of a lack of ambition - something which seems to be particularly common in dramione - but, in canon, she is shown to not particularly care if ron and harry do the bare minimum when it comes to studying etc. she nags them to do their work so they don’t get in trouble. she doesn’t nag them to do it to the same standard that she would.

and, actually, i think that ron being less ambitious than hermione is something which is key to how well they work. because ron provides not only emotional support, but emotional clarity.

hermione is shown throughout canon to - just as harry does - have a tendency to become obsessive to the detriment of her own health. she is also often - as harry is - emotionally or intellectually inflexible, and finds it hard to move on when what she feels or believes is proven to be wrong. both she and harry are micro-thinkers, who lean towards knee-jerk assumptions and stubborn convictions (and, indeed, hermione has a remarkably hagrid-ish tendency towards blind loyalty).

ron is none of these things. ron is a big-picture thinker (it’s why he’s so good at chess). he’s a pragmatist. he’s the least righteous of the three. he understands that faith and loyalty are choices, and that sometimes these choices will lead to outcomes which are bad or hard. he is the one of the three most willing to own up to having made mistakes. he is the one least likely to act on gut instinct (and, therefore, the hardest to fool - i think it’s worth emphasising that he clocks that tom riddle is tricking harry immediately, the only one of the trio to do so). he understands that things are a marathon, not a sprint. he is the least obsessive.

and these traits contribute to aspects of his character which are underappreciated. ron worries about hermione making herself ill during exams, or when she is using the time-turner, and makes an effort to get her to set healthy boundaries and redirect her anxiety. ron stands on a broken leg in front of sirius or goes into the forest to fight aragog not out of righteousness, but out of choice. ron takes over the burden of preparing buckbeak’s defence when it is clear that hermione is approaching burnout. ron is completely right that harry hasn’t done any long-term planning for the horcrux hunt, and his anger does force harry to tighten up after he leaves the trio. ron has a clear head in the middle of battle. ron makes harry and hermione laugh. ron is unafraid of human emotion. ron arrests harry’s tendency to brood over the little things by looking at the bigger picture. ron will always come back.

ron is bringing his politician wife regular cups of tea and making sure she doesn’t work all night. he is helping his lawyer wife to feel less upset over losing one case by reminding her that she’s won ten others. he is noticing stress creeping in and whirling her off for a dirty weekend, or even just a takeaway on the sofa. he is teaching his daughter to be proud of her ambition and his son to treat women as equals and both of his children that all you can do when you fuck up is apologise and try to do better. he is making hermione smile on the worst days of her life. he is helping her strategise her long-term goals when she gets stuck on the short-term ones. he is telling her straight when she needs to get it together. he is seeing a misogynistic head of department call hermione a ‘silly little girl’ and choosing to tell him exactly what he thinks of that.

ron is the ultimate wife guy. hermione is a very, very lucky lady.

[unhingedpolycule]

Hello, sorry if my English is not very good or understandable, I stopped practicing it a long time ago, but I hope I can give you my congratulations for that beautiful fanfic you made. I loved it, the way you treated it was spectacular. TID by Nikto, very attached to reality. I say from experience, a good development that Kreuger had, one of the best I have read, an ending that they both deserved made me cry, I felt a lot of emotion when reading each chapter, I was trapped in the story, how wonderful and personally I started reading it leaving from the hospital and he helped me a lot in my days of recovery, congratulations for your great work, I am your fan from Mexico, a cordial hug 🤗.

And just two questions: What do Nikto's alters look like? Do you think you can draw a drawing of each one?

And what would happen if König discovered Krueger?

Strap in, this is gonna be a long one! (As always as when I get to talk about my ideas of IRIWYW!!!) (I know we exchanged some DMs, so I hope you don’t mind me somewhat recycling my answers from there :)

First of all: your english is awesome, don’t fret :) thank you so much for your kind work, IRIWYW really was its own beast and a lot of work and I am so happy that it landed so well and managed to lure so many people into the exciting ship that is NK! I hope your recovery is going well, even if my wishes are a little late because I wanted to make nice drawings for this and put a lot of details into them! I won’t list all my hc for these characters separately, I hope the ideas I scribbled down are easily readable! :) (also featuring Andréy using the one internet meme he picked up on to confuse Krueger, who has no idea what he keeps talking about until he googles it eventually, even if he is the more “online” of the two!)

I think it would be really hard on König . He looked out for “Herzog”, tried to take care of him when he saw him being in what he rightfully assumed to be a toxic relationship and genuinely felt for him. Knowing that he treated his abuser like this would really make him doubt his judgement and what he said to “Herzog”. He would ask himself if this means that some people do not deserve forgiveness and that he shouldn’t assume that they do. In my mind, he wouldn’t voice it for a long time until Ghost basically forces him to do so because he knows that something is up. He is almost ashamed of his perceived failure. And Ghost sits him down and tells him that his compassion is a good trait, not a negative one. That he will always love him for his softness. Yeah, this time someone got it who didn’t deserve it. But wouldn’t it be worse if someone deserved and needed it wouldn’t get it because König couldn’t be arsed? I think he would make peace with being kind to Krueger eventually by telling himself that it sais much more about himself than about Krueger. But it would be hard.

And for how Krueger might react… he wouldn’t directly be ashamed, but he wouldn’t like it either. In his mind, he’s very much a different person now and barely recognises his old behaviours (König wise). If he was to meet König again and König would recognise him, he would be mortified but also apologise in a very genuine way. But he wouldn’t accept punishment from the legal side. He is too used to running and to be exempt from any rules. He would semi accept another beating (not fighting back as harshly as he could). He knows he deserves this, because it’s personal.

Bonus: how would the alters react to König threatening Krueger?

Nikto hates König and I am torn how he would react. For Gregor: he would protect Krueger if Krueger doesn’t do it himself, going as far as to try killing König because he is a mix of furious and jealous. Andréy would be torn between protecting him just as furiously as Gregor does because that’s his lover and letting it happen as long as Krueger doesn’t get hurt too bad because he has been raped himself and would give everything to do this to his tormentors because it fucked him up. (He has no memories of it, but he knows what it did to Gregor and he also knows the full extent of what Krueger did to König.) Lydia would very much let it happen for a bit before pulling them apart and tell König to back off, that he had his revenge and that he is done now. She is pragmatic, but she knows that the system needs Krueger and she really comes to enjoy his company too much to see him killed. And Sonja… damn she would bawl her eyes out and try to seperate them, which König would brush off with ease. It would be so horrifying to hear “Nikto” cry and plead like a child though, hearing him say how much she adores Krueger and that he is a good man, asking why he beats him. Sonja doesn’t know everything and doesn’t understand the implications of what she does know, despite the diary. König would probably stop out of sheer mortification of what sounds like a child in the body of a grown man clinging to him and pleading under tears.

Thank you for this ask, it was so fun to answer! Cordial hug back!!!

[dollywheeler]

October 23th, 1996

Dear diary,

Let’s see - the last few days have kind of been a blur.

I don’t think I did anything particularly interesting, just following my routine - same old same old. I had to spend all of Sunday catching up on my homework, so nothing special happened there. Mike let me take his old guitar home, though, and the reading for English class is going a lot better now I can alternate chapters of Walden with a moment of playing music. My Oasis tape has been running non-stop.

Cheer practice is going fine - the routines are a bit easier now so I’m having less trouble. I try to practice the harder ones as often as possible, but I still haven’t found a solution for practicing the jumps on my own.

Oh! I almost forgot - On Sunday, I watched Dracula! Danny recommended it and I wanted to watch something while finishing my homework. It was too good - I had to pause it and rush to finish my homework so I could watch it properly; This is exactly why I usually play something I’ve already seen.

I wish we could have watched it together though, but we’ve both been so busy we’ve barely had the chance to spend time together. Whenever he doesn’t have basketbal practice, I have cheer or babysitting, or he has to work at the diner. Mrs. Benson is doing a lot better, at least, so I don’t have to go over as often. Danny joins us for lunch most days, though, and I try to come to the diner as much as possible - it’s nice, just being able to talk to him, even if it’s in snippets between him serving the other customers. Christy doesn’t seem to mind it too much, either, as long as Danny doesn’t leave anyone waiting for too long.

Still, I hope we can go on an actual date again soon.

Mom already hinted at having him over for dinner and I’m… Not sure how to feel about that.

I mean, Danny’s great and I’m sure Dad will like him - I already know mom does because she can’t stop raving about our homecoming pictures. She went to pick them up from the developer on Monday and though I do look terrible in a lot of them, there’s some really cool pictures as well - ANYWAY, what I was trying to say (write? Whatever) was that it feels weird to have him over for dinner with the family.

I was too young to remember the first time Jonathan joined us for dinner - if he ever did before they both went off to college - so it’s not like I can look to my older sister for an example.

Lord knows Mike never brought a girl home.

What I’m trying to say is - I have no idea how Mom and Dad are gong to act. Especially dad - there’s a big enough gap between me and Nancy that I’m sure dad is going to have to get used to his daughter dating all over again.

I might call Nancy and ask for advice - if she has the time, of course. She’s so busy lately running all over the place. When I called on Saturday she said they’d be coming back to the US on Tuesday, but it wouldn’t be the first time their stay got extended. I’ll probably just wait on her to call over the weekend, just in case.

I don’t know what else to write about really, but I’m at the diner and a table in the back is staring at me. I don’t know why - I know their faces but not their names. Pretty sure one used to be the school’s librarian before he retired a few years ago. I see him and the woman he’s talking to around town sometimes, walking dogs, or here at the diner drinking coffee and gossiping as they are now. Most residents always follow everything going on around them, and I’m sure they recognise me in turn from seeing me around one too many times, but today I swear they’ve been looking at me specifically for way too long.

So, I took out my diary and started writing so it seems like I’m not bothered and can’t hear what they’re saying.

It’s strangely unsettling. I don’t know - they seem judgemental, and I feel judged, though for the life of me I can’t figure out why. I’m not doing anything different. I don’t look anything different - I’m not wearing anything special. Sure, I’ve been talking to Danny a lot because it’s so calm today, but it’s not like we’re being particularly loud.

Pretty sure I just heard them say “the Byers kid” - which is strange, because a, I’m not a Byers, and b, I’m not my brother - hell, we don’t even look alike.

I didn’t even realise they knew who I was, let alone who my brother’s friends are. Anyway, it’s weird how hung-up they are about Mike and Will’s return to Hawkins - I mean, it’s been more than two months, and they were only gone for - what? Seven? Ish? Years? I don’t even know.

I guess that’s the one downfall from living in a small town.

Most of the time it’s an advantage - like havig to go to the post office during the summer and getting to chat with Dylan while she works, or feeling completely at home in a diner because you know every face there. It’s nice knowing your neighbours and your neighbour’s neighbours in turn.

Like last week, with Mrs. Benson, I heard soooo many stories about the people around town. And sure, it’s gossip which isn’t always nice, but more often than not it’s just keeping everyone updated. It’s how we all show we care - how else would Mom know who’s in desperate need of a casserole or a plate of cookies?

That sounds like a hyperbole or whatever - Mike would probably know the perfect term - but it’s more relevant than one might think.

Plenty people don’t know to ask for help - like Mrs. Benson - and they’re just waiting on people to offer it.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from mom, is that more often than not overbearing is just bearing enough.

Anyway, Daniel and his mom are new to town too, but no one’s talking about that anymore either. Now I think about it, it is weird that people seem more hung-up about them than Danny. I mean, Danny and his mom are total outsiders - even if they only came from a few towns over - but at least Mike and Will are known strangers. They came back, which isn’t unheard of.

Mr. Howard, our PE teacher, for example, moved back in his thirties to take care of his ailing father. His father is still kicking around, by the by, even though he’s been back for almost twenty years now. Anyway, even though he’d been gone for seventeen years, everyone acted like he’d simply never left.

Max’ mom, on the other hand, still often gets reminded that she’s not from here, though it’s less obvious because the residents of the trailer park are used to people coming and going more than Suburbians, and also because she at least was here for ’86.

Now I think about it, it’s bothering me more and more.

I’ve always felt like I’m missing something - it’s often clear mom and Mike are talking around me - but I always just assumed it’s them being weird about Mike’s degree. That’s the one thing dad brings up sometimes when it’s about Mike, right before mom sends him a warning glare with pointed eyes at me. I don’t know - I get dad wanted us to do something practical, or at least, Mike, because dad has plenty of opinions on Nancy’s career as well. But he’s from a previous time, and honestly why Nancy wants to work so bad, I don’t understand.

Anyway, this took a turn.

I really keep getting carried away with these things.

The people are still there, but they seemed to have moved on conversationally, and it’s about time I head home anyway. I’m just going to say goodbye to Daniel and get going so I’m back in time for dinner.

Love, Holly

[byoldervine]

Writing Tips - Engage In Bad Media

To be clear, when I say this I do NOT mean to force yourself to read things that make you very uncomfortable or things you just plain can’t stand; use your best judgement to recognise when the cons outweigh the pros and never feel bad about having to shelf that story

What I mean is that knowing what not to do, or even just what you don’t want to do, can be just as helpful as knowing what you should do. No story, flawless as it may seem, is perfect, and it’s not only useful but healthy to acknowledge the flaws in things we enjoy

I’ll go first; in my opinion, Avatar: The Last Airbender didn’t have good romance. The story was amazing almost everywhere else, but they fumbled when it came to most of the romantic relationships, especially Kataang - it really felt to me like they just wanted the main guy and the main girl to get together, but while there was a lot of pining from Aang and tidbits from Katara scattered in here and there, they seemed to frequently forget the in-between part where they go from ‘do I confess?’ or “ I just said I was confused!” to them kissing

And despite saying this, I still love ATLA! You’re allowed to like things while also acknowledging where it falls short, and it’s a lot better than vehemently defending every aspect of the writing regardless of the intention of the critic, which in turn weakens your arguments that the writing actually is good

If you think some writing could be improved, consider what the problem is with it, explain why it doesn’t work and suggest alternatives to improve it. If you can give evidence to support your claim, you’re providing insightful analysis, and even if others disagree with it you still assessed the story and came to a conclusion about how you yourself would differ from the source material

Additionally, spite has always been a great motivator; fix-it fics are a thing, channeling your anger into writing out what happened to you but making the outcome more fair is a thing. Even if it’s not objectively better but just a subjective thing you prefer, you can still write that, and there’s nothing wrong with that. So long as you’re not sending fics to the original creator and telling them their work sucked, it’s okay to write your own interpretations and come up with ideas that you personally prefer. There will always be an audience for that if you want to share it, you just have to interact in those spaces appropriately

[chrysalis-the-butterfly]

Schnee's video "The Deeper Meaning of Loser Baby" is by far the BEST Hazbin Hotel analysis I've ever seen. Literally. Perfectly pointed, edited and EXTREMELY empathetic. Like. For real. It clearly shows how media literate and sympathetic the author is. He analysed Angel's behaviour, his trauma, how realistic it is, how well written Angel and his whole arc is, analysed why and how Husk was able to help Angel when Charlie wasn't... omg, it's so much better than any anti bullshit trying to explain why "Angel is a bad victim actually, hypersexual and unperfect? Nhaaa you're unvalid actually yeah sorry" to validate their own hate boner against Viv. Seriously, what a fucking perfect video. I recommend anyone of watching it, even haters, so they can see how blind and ignorant they truly are.

Thanks for sharing!

I did really like how non-judgmental Schnee's video was. I do occasionally watch videos made by Hazbin haters - because I want to give the other side a fair hearing, and expose myself to different views so I'm not just in an echo chamber - and one of the things I'm struck by is how many of them drift away from talking about the cartoon to pass judgement on the fans. "I don't understand how anyone can like these characters!" "Y'all have been gaslit into thinking this is good writing!" "Everyone has such bad takes, as evidenced by this single comment that only one person said which I'm now going to rant about!" That sort of thing.

Schnee's video was different. It didn't poke fun at the fans of the cartoon (probably because it was made by a fan). It instead kept its focus on the story - what Angel goes through, and how impactful that is, and how Angel's arc fits into the wider themes of Hazbin Hotel. And the whole thing was really well-scripted and well-edited.

Another thing I liked about Schnee's video was the fact that it wasn't laser-focused on Angel's character flaws, which it seems a lot of anti-Angel videos are. They focus too much on how he was harassing Husk in the earlier episodes, and don't acknowledge the fact that he changed and stopped doing that in the later episodes.

I even saw one video that was criticising the Huskerdust ship saying, "Be mad at me for saying this all you want, but I'm sorry, does Angel even really deserve Husk at this point?" When I heard that, my jaw dropped. What do you mean, Angel doesn't deserve Husk? Yes, he has a bad coping mechanism that hurts others, but does that really make him totally unworthy of love? Can he not be loved as he is and then helped to change?

And what does that say about Husk? That quote makes it sound like Husk is better than Angel and that Angel would drag him down, like Husk is some perfect precious uwu smol bean who needs to be protected from the big bad spider demon. My fellow human being, Husk is a former Overlord. He owned souls and gambled with them and didn't care until his own power was threatened. But I don't see anyone arguing that Husk doesn't deserve Angel because of that!

Why is Angel getting all this ire? Why is he the launcher of a thousand discourse posts and not, I don't know, Valentino, his abuser? That very same video also mentioned Staticmoth, and all it said about that ship was, "I just don't feel comfortable shipping a sex abuser with someone" - and that was it! Valentino has done so much worse than Angel, but he was quickly dismissed in that one comment, whereas Angel got three minutes in this video (plus multiple other videos by the same person) trashing him in an angry tone of voice with F-bombs aplenty! It's disproportionate!

(deep breath)

Wow, that was a doozy of a tangent!

That's the trouble with watching videos by Hazbin haters: you run the risk of hearing something that boils your blood. So it's really refreshing to find videos that aren't just criticising Angel endlessly, but treat his story with the respect such topics deserve.

I feel that not enough people recognise Angel's positive traits either. Such as his willingness to assist people even if they've hurt him in the past. Or his bravery in standing up for others. Angel's got a good heart deep down! It just takes a bit of work to help him show it.

[slavicafire]

zmija, if its alright, what is your opinion on marzanna and mokosz being two facets of a similar entity/force? is it reductive to think of them in this way? hope this is alright to ask, may your night be peaceful and the stars be bright

all questions regarding the slavic pantheon are very welcome - it is, after all, the nearly forgotten purpose of this little pit of a blog, ha.

now, I assume the question relates more to one's own personal spiritual endeavours rather than curiosity strictly confined to ethnographic fact, and so I shall focus entirely on just that: personal spirituality. for the fact, we have no evidence suggesting the slavs of old saw these two as anything else than separate - especially given we have precious little sources discussing they recognised them at all, and even less often both at the same time - even if we trust, against all our better judgement, in długosz's assesment of Marzanna as Ceres (sigh). anyone who's interested in old polytheist faiths learns quite quickly that there's few things more fickle than trying to ascertain whether a given a deity was more often believed to be the other deity's different aspect, or their wife, sibling, grandchild, sworn enemy, or noisy neighbour.

so, back to personal dogma - and let us start off with mentioning długosz, again: the only time when your belief becomes reductive is when it simplifies things out of laziness (or other just as shallow reasons) and thus claims each deity is, for example, the XYZ version of Diana, thus stripping the figure of all its cultural context and specificity in favour of simplifying it to the Roman pantheon. and then, of course, taking the Roman pantheon and simplifying it as simply stolen from Greeks.

as for personal belief - with the utmost understanding that at the end of the day, you are allowed to believe anything, and in my belief you should even be encouraged to believe some really strange and contradictory things - I think seeing Mokosz and Marzanna as two facets of a similar force is fair, by all means. good gods, even seeing the whole pantheon as reflections of each other or other forces or even some sort of absolute is neither rare nor especially outrageous.

the question is: does it add more meaning, more fun, more depth? does it make it more fascinating to delve into?

or, to ask my favourite question: does it make it more thrilling?

if so, then explore it. if no, abandon it. or don't, who am I to tell you anything, really. sending love.

[behindthewox]

WoE part 1, the criticism

With a dozen WoE anons in my inbox, some very long and some repeating what's already been said, I decided to take the most relevant bits and pieces and make a summary instead of posting all of it in one massive block of opinions and feelings. This post is the first part, focusing on the criticism.

When reading, keep in mind that there's a second post with praise and appreciation over the same people addressed in this post. Criticism evokes feelings, and a good judgement should be based on rational thought. Keep an open mind and read both before you make up your mind about what you think about this.

Anon A, pt 1 I joined World of Elements as a result of the constant advertisement from most servers I was on. I don't like to constantly ramble but I feel as though the people voicing their concerns about the server are completely right. [...] For a start, there are very many users on the server who aren't respectful and considerate of your abilities and boundaries. This is aimed at both non-management and management. I think it's quite disappointing to say this but the staff on the server, have made me feel unwelcome. [...] Users being told there characters aren't good enough and staff going out of their way to let users know of this saddens me very much.

_ _ _

Anon B I agree, I'm a user who has only joined recently but it's pretty obvious the MoM and another staff member are really close which makes it very awkward when being on site. [...] World of Elements has also gone though a lot of drama although it's very new. Staff members are all telling you off at the same time which makes you feel targeted.

Never underestimate the importance of basic respect, consideration and positive attitudes, and never underestimate the damage of the opposite. This sort of social skills take some learning, but people won't learn unless there are clear guidelines to follow and good role models to look up to and learn from.

It's not easy to treat old friends and new strangers equally, you will be closer to your old friends and there will be inside jokes and banter that is part of that relationship. That's fine when it's just the old friends, but when there are other people involved that has to be put aside. An inside joke than only some people get makes the others feel excluded.

Again, it takes some learning to recognise your behaviour and be self aware enough to recognise when you're doing something that may make others feel excluded.

Anon C, pt 1 Someone stated to be patient with new servers, when it is still the WoX community. There should be an understanding of how to treat users and there should be an understanding of when and how to deal with certain situations. Rules are there for a reason. [...] A new server does not mean that staff members are new to the positions. Many of them have been around WoX for years and should understand when they're out of line. Staff, above everything, should be role models and they are severely lacking that when users are confused or hurt. Some staff members use AI for their notice boards, and others create situations with passive aggressiveness, sending users to react in a certain way, then causing that user to seem out of line and have even more people push it. The idea has potential, but the staff, so far, from what I've seen, does not.

_ _ _

Anon D You can not hold your friend up on a pedestal and treat the ‘normal users’ differently. You cannot allow behaviour in your friends, that you would not in normal users. That is not how it works.

What might help is to bring in an outsider whose job is to point out when this happens and nudge everyone towards a more equal conversation. And set up some guidelines for general behaviour and how to practise authority without being a prick.

Everyone deserves a chance to learn and better themselves, so let's give them the time to do that.

I'm ending this with the more personal opinions and accusations, the stuff that probably stings the most. Just remember, opinions are opinions and the statemtens might not be factually correct. Keep other people's judgements in mind, but always make your own if you can.

Anon A, pt 2 My final issue is with the MoM herself. Which I find has been the main issue with the server. Not only has she gone out of her way to make people I appreciate feel unwelcome and an overall disturbance to her journey with this server but she has not acted professionally and done what is expected of her. I'm fairly new to wox but I know this is not the sort of behavior you would expect of someone to be a possible head of site. She claims to be "open to criticism" yet she doesn't take it well. Instead, she continues to degrade users and make them feel less of their worth.

_ _ _

Anon C, pt 2 Admittedly, I feel like the MoM is close with some staff members and they know more than others. This should NEVER be how sites are ruled. [...] I really fear more things will happen if there's not some serious change, whether this is a change in staff or a change in behaviour is up to the MoM and HM, but if there is no change, I can assure you that the site won't even last.

[onewomancitadel]

I am serious, I won't touch S/uccession again, it's just such a great example of the kind of thing I am interested in (which is pretty much psychonanalytic... lol). The interface of archetypes is so interesting and I think it does express itself as a mechanism for cultivated cultural/social attitudes (be it as it may) which transcend popular social justice talking points and speak even deeper to particular moral, emotional, spiritual attitudes... I absolutely think the social justice angle is well-intentioned, it's just not comprehensive enough for me (and pretty much cannot be reconciled with the 'fiction doesn't real' position, but that is neither here nor there. My quibble is to what capacity does fiction real or does fiction reflect social attitudes, which is not an extreme position on my part at all, and it's frankly absurd the leaps that so-called 'antis' take. They need a better name).

Why is it that we make these judgements, how do they overall affect our interactions with storytelling, do they or do they not reflect real life attitudes, etc., like if you knew Shiv in real life as a human being would you treat her differently from her fictional self (I think fictional characters are distinct from real people; this is why people don't need to self-flagellate over 'feeling bad' for the wrong guy, because the point of the narrative is empathetic engagement. It's just interesting that it can actually happen in the reverse: there are people whom I otherwise agree with re: social justice politics that I have blocked because they talked mad shit about Cinder being unsympathetic).

I also don't think that there is just The Bad Attitudes some Bad People have, and when you get rid of the Bad Attituder Interface Component, they are the Good People with Good Narrative Interpretations. Interpretation narratively is never that flat; there is never going to be total concordance about what is or isn't the most ideal story, even with accompanying political responsibility and ostensibly clear goals of empowerment. (What does 'empowerment' mean in storytelling anyway? Is it physical might? Is it the strong female protagonist who kills people? What about humanisation? Do characters of one type come with a responsibility that others don't? So on). The reality is that the way you interact with stories is the way everybody does and there is no clear-cut way to having All of the Correct Opinions. That will literally drive you insane. This is why I return to asking deeper questions about narrative and thematic goals and why I argue for representation on the grounds of artistic excellence. It's not a popular idea, I'll give you that, but it's pretty much the only position I can personally reconcile between recognising art doesn't have political responsibility or morally didactic responsibility and yes, censorship of comprehensive artistic products is bad, but there is incentive to tell stories from every fabric of human experience... and that the humanisation of characters (and their homes, cultures, experiences etc.) matters.

So the Bad Attituder Interface Component won't go away - and sure, some people do just have bad opinions - but I think that's kind of the point? Because I do think art does reveal things about us, and is transformative in small ways too, and that's important. I think it is superficial to view it as an active political battleground (for good or ill; particularly from a governmental perspective - we don't want to encourage any attitude bordering on propaganda-mandated art... lol... these are the logical conclusions!) but equally you can learn things through it. Besides, none of the beliefs we harbour are distinct from one another - or organised in separate compartments in our hearts - even when they sometimes might seem conflicting with one another - and so I can never view narrative response through the flat lense of 'are you or aren't you a misogynist?' Which you have every reason to disengage from, be it racism or homophobia or transphobia or anti-Semitism, but equally I think it's a little superficial to view things that way. Which, honestly, isn't just a Leftist thing at all; the gender anxieties are just a little different.

I'm always worried I'm secretly a bad person and everybody hates me, especially because I had some really horrific online friendships on Tumblr when I was a teenager where my every move was scrutinised (I don't mean this in a 'I got told I was racist and it was terrible' type of thing; I mean I had my eating disorder explained back to me about why it was really addiction type of thing where my every move/word was scrutinised and I had to be constantly vigilant; I was sixteen and she was twenty-six) and I still pretty much exist with that watchman in my head, lol. So maybe what I'm talking about isn't the same sort of anxiety other people have anymore because it has been a few years lol; in fact the majority of asks taking me to task have been about misandry, so I would say with my - regular audience? - things don't exactly pan out the way I necessarily expect. But equally for that crowd what I've laid out here is true, and I would say that a real political urgency assigned to narrative interpretation isn't, and has never been, the blue-haired SJW thing. Think back to the way DND was characterised as Satanic. Or that reading was bad for women.

Point being I don't tend to view misogyny or social evil as its own superstructure; I think it is beholden to (deeper) psychological tools, and you can see those expressed in narrative response, and the conversation - for me personally - doesn't begin and end there, usually.

[dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram]

Hi! Judgemental anon here. I tend to like to categorize things into right or wrong, good or bad. And I think that can show up a lot in fandom, especially when fans are excited or panicked. I’m working on the black and white thinking, but it makes me feel more in control. I’m so terrified of drugs personally because I always want to be really aware and in control of what’s happening around me, but I’ve always worried that I’ll be left out if I don’t. I shouldn’t project my fear and insecurity onto other people. Just because I can’t immediately understand doesn’t mean that their doing something wrong or that I even need to understand. But I like to feel that I do understand parts of Harry etc, when I really don’t. I wonder if other young 1D fans are afraid of or confused about drugs in a similar way, and therefore don’t want celebrities they’ve attached themselves to using them.

I was thinking specifically about celebrities and the difference between looking “healthy” to a lot of people versus feeling how they want to feel. Can some celebrities make more money off appearing “unhealthy” or “healthy” based on the persona their team has created? That comes back to your point about stress

Thanks so much for coming back anon - this is very lovely and generous of you to share. You sent a follow up on the health and celebrities question - and so I'm going to cut and paste the second paragraph and answer it there.

You sound very thoughtful and generous anon. I recognise a lot of the feelings you are talking about. I was super anxious about drugs and alcohol as a teenager. I had a family history of alcoholism and a family history of bipolar that had mental health disorder and I was told that that was much worse in one family member because of teenage weed consumption (now I'd probably be sceptical about cause and affect). And the way those adults were was pretty scary to me. I was really scared that I was just a few moments away from being in a trap for the rest of my life.

It was totally OK for me to feel that way and it's totally OK for you to feel the way you feel. I think you're probably right that at least some of the anxiety driven discussions within fandom are about how hard it is being young and how hard it is to negotiate becoming an adult. I'll try and remember that (although when people lead with their judgement - I do find it very hard).

You originally asked me how could you be less judgemental of other people who do drugs and drink. Can I make a suggestion that maybe that's not the issue - what stands out here is not the way you judge other people, but the way you treat your own desires.

One of the problems with black and white thinking is that it ends up deligitimising our desires. The fact that you don't want to do drugs and alcohol is enough. Your own desire is enough. It doesn't need to be validated by any moral system - even your own.

I think the way that you are sounds pretty awesome - and you will find all your way through this of your own. But to answer your question - for a lot of people the best way to learn to be less judgemental to other people is to be kinder to yourself. Or more particularly to grow the sense that your desires and preferences don't have to be objectively correct to be valid. Sending you huge amounts of love.

[blossomwithsunshine]

I'm currently playing Blazblue arcade mode and for Izayoi since quite a while actually. I need to confess I wasn't remembering the events correctly of what happened in the arcade mode specifically even though it's left me all a little confused. In multiple arcade modes, at least the ones of Tsubaki and Makoto, an Izayoi shows up or is mentioned as someone who is all for killing or sealing away Noel for the fate of the world. Izayoi's own arcade mode contradicts this somewhat, which is why I'm going to add onto what I said about the character previously to see if my theory missed anything or is inaccurate on any details.

The first major interaction in act 3 is Vs. Jin. First thing we see from the interaction is that this happens after Tsubaki's arcade mode ends, since Jin says "I won't repeat myself", which makes the Izayoi we're playing as not one separated by the Embryo similar to how Mu12 and Noel were separated.

"As Tsubaki- I will protect my friends!" She clearly states she sees herself as Tsubaki, or that she will act as "Tsubaki" in the sense that she will protect her friends above everything. It's a proclamation of identity, choosing or a role and denying another name and role by extention. She chooses, despite her form to be and act as "Tsubaki." Other than that, Izayoi still questions Jin's judgement and objectivity: when Jin says he's the power of order, he needs to protect everyone and the world, Izayoi says that Jin is just one person. This highlights again a difference in philosophy that only comes up after Tsubaki transforms into Izayoi, because remember, this is the second fight, and second opportunity for banter in a row, which is used to highlight how different Izayoi and Tsubaki act in the same situation.

The next fight with Makoto is a warm up between the two, no mention of an Izayoi clone here. And also, mention of the Izayoi having influence over Tsubaki? Influence mentioned in the same breath as the Imperator, who is a person. Just to highlight that for a moment because it implies a little on the effect or on the feeling Tsubaki gets when she is Izayoi, or becomes her in her own mind. More on that later.

The last two fights happen right after eachother, first is Izayoi saving Noel from her own Paranoia and fear, the other is a bit more interesting against Hakumen who asks her to lend him the power of the Izayoi- even calling her Izayoi throughout implying its a more fitting name for her than Tsubaki. Maybe this is because of her having Izayoi's true form, or because of Izayoi ... is actually a part of Tsubaki and doesn't want to hurt Noel. Maybe Izayoi the weapon is like an amplifier to one's strife and emotions, meaning that it's both easier to see the good in others but also easier to see evil and fault, shown by all the dialogue where Izayoi really sympathises with others and sees them for who they are, like with Lambda where she tells the android to believe in herself so that she can truly become a person of her own, while Tsubaki in the same situation asks about Sector Seven, why Lambda resembles Noel, etc.

Though... if "Izayoi's influence" isn't actually that of the weapon but of a headmate of tsubaki herself then that would explain why she mentions Izayoi in the same way she mentions the Imperator, further supporter by the fact that the Izayoi isn't supposed to have any kind of personality changing influence on it's user, since that isn't mentioned by anyone in the series to my knowledge or from the Glossary entry to Izayoi included in Central fiction. Even further evidence of this conclusion is also the way Izayoi and Tsubaki both handle the topic to their corruption differently. Tsubaki never mentions the mindeater curse or the fact she ever stood against the others at all, while Izayoi takes personal responsibility for it, as if only then recognising the memories of her actions as her own.

So, this is where I'm at, basically. Hope this was fun to read again.

Sorry I didn't respond until now but thanks for giving more of your thoughts!! You don't have to apologize for being confused: Blazblue lore is hard to keep up with after all. What I'll say won't be as detailed as yours and may come across as messy so bear with me.

I don't remember Tsubaki's arcade mode bringing up Izayoi too much and even then, in Act 3 she vowed to would protect Noel anyway. I did see Makoto's arcade mode though, and honestly, the fact Relius appears at the end of her arcade mode is kinda what makes Izayoi's appearance there confusing to me. We know that this is the real Izayoi and not a creation like he said, but Makoto also says how Tsubaki wouldn't be so willing to kill her best friends so coldly like this. Hell, Izayoi's own arcade mode contradicts this. So...is Izayoi really in control of herself? Did Relius do something to her?? Knowing that bastard, he very much could've. I don't know, it's so vague to me.

I did mention in the post that Izayoi has the ability to steal light from the user itself and while it may not change their personality, it can still cause them to be blind, and we have seen this happen to Tsubaki, both physically, and I believe it does mentally too if I'm not mistaken, so if that is true, then a theory of mine is that while it doesn't outright change their personality, it can cause the parts of their personality (especially the flaws they have deep inside) they already had to be brought to the light more, and it's shown with how, for example, Izayoi is even more passionate with bringing justice and more confident on what her view of justice is than even Tsubaki, who gets confused and lost at what her vision of true justice is throughout the series.

Also, I think with how Izayoi mentions the Mind Eater curse, but Tsubaki doesn't could be explained by how while she broke out of the Mind Eater curse, Tsubaki had already become Izayoi at this point and is still Izayoi after that. Of course, you could also theorize how as Tsubaki, she's ashamed of what she did and tries to avoid the topic altogether, while Izayoi is more open to admit what she did, as Izayoi is the part of Tsubaki that wholeheartedly accepts the darkness she kept locked away in her heart.

Thank you very much again for the read!! Maybe one day, I'll make a post showcasing the differences and similarities between Tsubaki and Izayoi, since this is actually really interesting to me! Maybe though. I love how now there can be open discussions of Tsubaki's character like this!

[abishekmuses]

Creative.

Cole Schafer’s newsletter - it made think a few things. 

This guy’s really good at selling himself. And I don’t mean in that ANY negative sense. He embodies all that is great about the American Hustle. 

Unashamed. That’s the thing. 

And his stuff inspires me to write. 

His brand of creativity somehow gives me the license to create - to write. For the joy of it. It makes it accessible and whatever the opposite of daunting is. 

I’m thinking - there are lot of stories from my life I’d like to share. Just like his story of his camping trip. That painfully awkward crush he had on that freckled Quebecois girl. 

I have stories like that. 

I guess I’m a “creative” after all. 

I never grew up identifying with a tag like that. Wonder how I would have turned out if I had. Would my associations have been different?

I guess we’ll never know. 

But now I know for sure - I’m a creative. I’m that kind of person. 

Ha - I remember even as kid, I was fascinated with the idea of being a physician writer. 

There was so much romance to the notion.

I also remembered today that I was fascinated with the idea of writing beautiful things and then throwing them away. Morbidly fascinated with the idea of somebody picking up those pages  and reading them, wondering who wrote them. 

I want to get more comfortable with this fact - the fact that I love creating verbal structures. I love expressing myself. It doesn’t need to be towards any end - It just needs to be. 

I have a need for aesthetics. Creating beauty is its own reward. And the best part about creating for myself is that I’ll always be able to see the beauty inherent in it - the limitations or the blemishes, if you will, won’t stop me from seeing how beautiful it is. 

I feel like I have so much to say. 

Do I feel ashamed of judgement? Is that it?

I think so. I think we all are, to varying extents. 

This is what I think it is - I think I want to be associated only with the most beautiful things I can create. Not with the mediocre. 

There is some validity to this notion - I mean, brand value and all. 

But if this is getting in the way of me creating things at all, then fuck it!

Man the linkedin thing is such a bummer. I wonder what it was? The Norway thing - that’s easily explainable though - 

Anyway, I hope it works out and has that effect of making me appreciate it more. 

I want more money in my life. 

I want to create without fear. 

I want to live for joy. 

I want to roam the world free from fear, anxiety and worry. 

I’m tired of worrying. 

I’m tired of thinking about money. 

Which is ironic because the fact still remains that I have a great job - even with the salary cut. 

I want to continue checking out Cole Schafer’s work - I think it will inspire me to create more. I want to create more. I want to put it out there. It would make me happy if people engage with the stuff I create. 

I don’t care if I’m stating the obvious. I like typing. Just for the fuck of it. 

And these are honest words - why would I not like to type them?

God I remember I’ve loved typing for the longest time. I remember - I’ve loved writing words for the longest time - Wonder why it’s taken so long for me to recognise this in myself. 

Is that how pervasively pernicious the South Indian middle class trap is?

Man. I wonder. 

If a guy like me who doesn’t have a single middle class sinew in me can be held back this much - this shit must really be pervasive then. 

I feel my neurosis slipping away every time I write. Maybe Tasha was right about the Gemini energy thing. 

I wonder what she’s upto - she can be really sweet. But also ditsy. She can be profound and dumb at the same time.

What I love about her is this - she has the ability to interact with a certain spectrum of humanity that I struggle to interact with. She does it so effortlessly and seems to be able to see greatness in them - I struggle possibly because of self-consciousness. Possibly because of some misplaced sense of elitism. Some sense of a disconnect? I don’t know. Like - I don’t like the way I’ being seen? Or think I’m being seen. 

This is a lovely change of pace - the words that are coming out now are of a higher order than the usual worried rants to myself that I produce - quotidian affairs. 

So yeah money. Money would be nice. Man Linkedin!

It’ll work out. 

I think I’ll be let off with a warning. 

Time to remember than zen thing - 85% is good. Slow is smooth. Smooth is fast. I tried building my body super quickly - My back fucked up. I tried coming up on linkedin too quickly - I got banned. I tried to make a lot of money too quickly - I haven’t published an article for ONiO in a whiiiiiiile. Patience. 

It’s eluded me. I need patience. I’ll find it I think. Nandi is the man.

Ahh yes I remember. before I got to the desk to write this - I was thinking about how I’m so filled with resentment and anger - how a lot of the stuff I say about India, and “ok sir”, and this and that - it’s not that the stuff itself can’t be well received - it’s the energy - the emotional charge that’s not well received. 

Can I transmute my resentment into humour?

I think I can. I think I am doing that.

Ok. Time to attend to the quotidian. But the supernal shall be where I dwell more and more.

#creative #creativity #selfdoubt #artist

[leicamoments]

Competition Time

I see the new year round of competitions has started...announcing the commencement of the 2024 process to apply for the merry-go-round.

I've not entered a competition in around 30 years and refuse to do so these days. For the record, the last one I entered was the Wanderlust competition and I won my category...the image being published in their book, in the magazine and shown at various exhibitions.

It wasn't the first competition I had won - but it certainly was the last.

Why? Because most of the competitions I see these days fail on three fronts.

Firstly, there are too many of them that require you to pay to play. Why should you have to pay to enter one of your pictures, for the judges to look at?

The body running the competition can make money from publishing the photo(s); they can get sponsorship for the competition; they can get publicity for running the competition that boosts their sales or membership.

So, my advice is, don't pay to enter any competition!

Secondly, Gratuitous copyright grabs. There are competitions that essentially take your copyright, or certainly ensure that however good your image is and however commercial it could be...you won't ever make a penny from them because they enforce an exclusivity clause or hold the rights to publish.

So again, don't give in to that small print clause.

Thirdly, a lot of competitions boil down to a popularity vote. Favouring those people with large social media followings, associations with groups or companies, or simply are shameless enough to relentlessly market their image at people asking them to vote for it.

A popularity vote, where the image may not be even be looked at by those that vote...simply, in my eyes, invalidates the competition and results.

At the end of the day, those competitions that don't fail the above tests are essentially a subjective process of the 'here and now'. What I mean is that at the given time and place, with the person(s) asked to make a judgement on what is in front of them...it is simply a comparative decision.

That doesn't mean your image isn't good enough. It doesn't mean that your picture isn't superb and deserves to win. Not at all, it just means, at that time an arbitrary decision was made to rank photos in a particular order...when at a later date, they could be put in a totally different order.

I've seen so many professional photographers putting up on their websites that they are an 'award winning' photographer and that may well be true, but what in the end does that mean?

Most of the awards that they list may well be competitions that you've never heard of and may find difficult to find out much about. Who says that they are even real competitions!

I've seen several photographers that base their whole marketing of their company and themselves on being 'award winning'; and when you look at the images they've won awards for...it may very well be the same photo entered into 20 competitions over a period of ten years.

I find that a questionable practice - but believe me, it does happen (and far more frequently than you would imagine).

So no, I don't enter competitions. I don't say that I am an award winning photographer. I don't care about that side of the industry.

For those that win the big, recognised and prestigious competitions - I am genuinely in awe of some of the work that is shown; but the rest...as Shania Twain said...that don't impress me much.

For the pay to play and popularity vote awards...If that's your bag...then fine...I wish you luck!

[roastthesadidiot]

The biggest wake-up call on any social view that you have been wrong about is when you are being confronted with that very same situation and everything you ever judged is either coming right back in your face or falling apart.

As I had explained before, I came from a pretty conservative and judgemental family. And a lot of the extreme right mantras have passed my ears when politics were brought up. Thinking back about my time as a teenager (and finding some really cringy posts back on Facebook that I've now removed), I was very close, if not already, brainwashed into believing these things. But after I failed my highschool years, I was forced to rethink a lot of those views that I had been carrying all my life.

The very first view being: "If you never finish school, you're a lazy bum." Thinking back about those times and everything that followed (eventually getting my highschool degree in the adults educational centre and then miserably failing college) , I just had to conclude that our society's way of measuring intelligence by educational degrees doesn't necessarily mean you're superior to others who never got their degrees. Or that some people just couldn't get their degrees, because they were in a situation where they were unable to finish their studies (like an early job opportunity or being struck by a disease that makes you unable to focus on your studies). Or even seeing people who have majored in their studies, but continuously make some of the dumbest possible (financial) decisions in their life.

The view that was the most difficult to change for me was from the people that were different of colour and interests. School is by far the single worst place to observe this trait, because you know they will all band together and socially isolate themselves from everyone else. And depending on who they are influenced by will either not care or start bullying you for not being their kind. I had been targeted for bullying by both white and coloured, so my trust in anything either "religious" or soccer maniacs was immediately gone when I noticed the trait. So what changed my view on this? When I got to meet these same people when they weren't peer pressured. When nobody else was there to speak evil about others and we could freely talk as individuals and recognise our struggles as participators in society. And eventually we all come out with a better understanding of eachother.

After my failed college exploit, it was time for me to look for a job. It took me over a year to finally find a place that wanted to give me the chance I needed. Everywhere else I had a 1 day contract and then weeks of nothing. That was when the comments of "You can work anywhere you want if you try hard enough" were becoming very hurtful. I was actively applying, but was either ignored or told I was "uninterested" because I didn't know how to sell my Curriculum that had practically nothing of worth to them.

Eventually I got to work in a store on a fixed contract. Which is essential to apply for a loan, since I wanted to move out. Unfortunately, my pay was not that much to get a good enough loan to buy anything in the housing market (This period, it's even worse). The very first comment you will hear is: "Then go look for a better job." Which with my previously mentioned situation, I felt like: "I just went through all that, I'm not doing this again."

So like everyone else I'm trying to scrape together everything I can. But at that point, everything I was saving felt like it was the same amount as the average housing prices were rising. When I explained the situation, people were immediately insinuating I've been wasting my money on parties, cars, subscriptions, travels,....while I've never been able to do any of that. If my life had taken a drastic path for the better with my past upbringing, I would've very likely turned out to be the same judgemental a**h***.

All of these experiences have taught me that people aren't the generalized versions of the social standing they've been placed in. Every case is an individual case where most of the times these people aren't (directly) at fault. I will not say that from now on I will never live with misconceptions and stereotypes about others. That is a naïve and a hypocritical thing to say as a part of a society that is prone to this kind of thinking. But if we truly wish to grow as a person, we need to critically reflect on our subjective opinions and recognise these situations that aren't ours (yet).

[slightlyrebelliouswriter23]

Hey Em,

I don't mean to bother you, but I've been feeling really bad about my writing lately. I'm usually pretty happy with what I write, but nowadays I've just been feeling burnt out and struggling with thinking that other people write so much better than me. Do you have any motivation? Just a few words to pick me up and help me keep going.

No pressure at all to reply, you're welcome to delete this if you want to.

Hiya nonnie! Oh, I'm so sorry to hear you've been feeling this way 🥺 maybe it'll help you to know that I understand this line of thought on a profound level, because I have lived it so many times. It can make you feel quite lonely, isolated even. Despite the fact that many writers experience this same notion at some point in their lives.

I don't know if you want a brief pep talk or a more long-winded explanation for how I personally sift through these feelings and cope, so I'll give you both, and you can choose to stay with me/this post for however long you want.

A Writer’s Guide to Not Writing

I. Pep Talk-

My pep talk to you is this: Your creative energy is precious. Your health is precious. Your words are precious. 

Your words are not worse because you like someone else's writing, they're different. They serve an entirely other purpose, and that's good! The world of reading would be awful boring if everyone's writing appealed to one person's preferences. Turn insecurity into curiosity. Read voraciously. Try to focus on what you can learn from other people’s writing techniques and styles. 

Your words are not worse because they’re not coming. Rest. Be kind enough to yourself to give your body time to do nothing without judgement. You'll still know how to write after. I promise you won’t forget. You won’t miss out on anything. 

It'll be okay. 

II. Why you feel burnout-

I go into how to prevent creative burnout in this post, but how do we cope with burnout when we’re already in it?

Burnout is what happens when you’ve either knowingly or unknowingly stretched your body to its physical limits. Not metaphorical limits, physical. This isn’t all in your head. 

Think about it as a runner running a marathon and not recognising (or intentionally ignoring) the signs of dehydration or fatigue. What would happen to that runner? Their body would probably begin to shut down.

Burnout is your brain forcing you to rest because you've been working so hard, for so long, and/or in likely less-than-ideal environmental conditions. And while it's totally unfair of your brain to not warn you before entering the burnout phase, there’s not really much you can do once there. The more you fight it, the worse it tends to get. 

You wouldn’t try to keep running after experiencing fatigue, either, so I want you to sit for a bit with the feeling of Not Writing. Know that it’s okay to not produce or create. And if you don’t vibe with the whole “do it to be kind to yourself” schtick, do it as a direct protest against a society that teaches us our worth is intrinsically linked to our productivity.

Give yourself permission to just exist. 

In the ADHD community, we have a sort of mantra that goes “Follow the dopamine”, which essentially just means “Do what feels good to your brain in the moment and the motivation will follow”. I’d amend this mantra for the burnout writer community to “Follow the joy”. Find things (apart from writing) that bring you joy, and do those. Do things that add emotional value/enrichment to your life. 

When you are content with Not Writing, that's when you'll know it's time to write again.

III. Why you feel jealous/insecure-

I also want to touch on feelings of jealousy and insecurity, because I often feel those things when it comes to my writing, too. No writer is immune.

The human brain is hardwired to notice differences and make connections. So it’s natural that we would see differences in other people’s work or accomplishments, realise that we like their work or want the skills/recognition that they have, and immediately link their success to the things that make them or their work different from ours. 

But brains often make mistakes and link two unrelated things. Correlation does not equal causation. You’re not bad at writing just because you see someone else’s skillset and it’s different from what yours looks like.

To explain this further, I always think of jealousy and insecurity as being two sides of the same coin. The coin is fear. On one side, you have insecurity–which is fear turned inward. On the other side, you have jealousy–which is fear turned outward. 

Both sides come from a place of perceived lack. Insecurity is a fear that you inherently lack something that others have, and you blame yourself for that perceived lack. Jealousy is a fear that you won’t ever get what others have, and you blame other people (either directly or indirectly) for getting in the way of that.

Both feelings are completely morally neutral, though, so it’s important not to attach judgement to them when they arise. But you also have to acknowledge them, or they won’t pass.

I’d encourage you to keep reading. And when you read other people’s writing, approach it with a mindset of curiosity. I often ask myself:

What makes this piece good? 

What makes it engaging?

What, specifically, do I like about it? 

How can I implement those things into my own work? 

Are there any similarities between my writing and this work? 

Is there anything I can learn from this person’s writing? 

Become a student again. What better way is there to cure insecurity than to learn from others and build your own skillset?

If it’s fanfiction or any piece posted on a social platform, comment the things you enjoyed/admire about that person’s work! Showing genuine appreciation for other people’s talent by paying sincere compliments is scientifically proven to open up compassion pathways in the brain, which makes it easier for you to recognise what is good in your own work.

Kindness is a boomerang. Give and you shall receive.

✦✦✦✦✦

So, what’s the overall message?

Rest until you’re okay with resting.

Follow the joy.

Curiosity and kindness are medicines.

Your creative energy will come back.

I promise.

I really hope this helped! My inbox is always open to writing advice. All the love in the world to you, nonnie. 

-Em 🖤🗡

Creative Burnout and How to Ward Against It

Writing Advice Masterlist

Writing Masterlist