#i mean i go by multiple names
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sometimes, i get a very very strong feeling of "i want to be (name)" i want to be (new name) like a strong desire an urge that its not right but it never sticks and the next day i go back to being raymond and that other name feels wrong
#*#i mean i go by multiple names#basically if one of my sonas is called it or my username is it im okay with being called it#but sometimes its different#but raymond is just. my main. thats me. thats me#but sometimes im like 'what if i went by (name)'#usually this then comes out as me making a new sona by that name#but i cant keep making new sonas forever.....#sorry for having little identity...#yves is the most recent name going through this phenominon and before that it was carmen#(pronounced like eve)#but ugh i cringe at the idea of being called yves its not ME then why did i feel like it needed to be me?
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no offense but how would Arya, a girl who constantly yearns for home/ the North, someone who's deeply community driven, and not only desires but consistently acts to protect and provide for others, becoming the Lady of Winterfell "go against her convictions and purpose in life"? 🥴🥴🥴
#arya stark#you can think it isn't going to be her endgame or whatever but “goes against her purpose in life”? lmao#the only thing arya kinda lacks as opposed to her siblings is a random adult (littlefinger stannis wyman) telling her to her face#that they're going to make her the next ruler (which... i mean starkbowl when?? lol)#but arya also has multiple northerners causing mutiny against the boltons and rallying in her name! so where do we go from here?
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#OFMD#Stede Bonnet#Gentlebeard#Blackbonnet#Edward Teach#Revenge rambles#Pretty sure which option is going to win LMAO but just needed to Ask The Audience#since i'm currently over here taking significant damage over 'you nut (affectionate)'#But man I personally fall into the multiple category#I mean OF COURSE#BECAUSE I'M A SUCKER FOR PET NAMES/ENDEARMENTS HSDJKLS#But I ADORE darling/sweetheart/my love/you nut
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NICO: WE SHARED THE LIFT THIS MORNING! I WAS GOING TO THE POOL TRAMPOLINE WITH MY TWO DAUGHTERS AND HE WAS GOING TO THE RACETRACK. PINKHAM: VERY DIFFERENT LIVES YOU'RE CURRENTLY LEADING.
#that line from nico is like /the/ modern brocedes thesis to me#like this is their happy ending!!! it is not the one they dreamed of all those years ago in greece but is a happy ending.#it's not multiple shared championships or racing against each other for years or anything their 13 year-old-selves would've dreamed up but#it is them achieving their dreams. lewis has 7 wdcs and is aiming for an 8th. nico has a loving wife and 2 daughters he'd die for. they are#both doing the things they love. would it have been nice if those dreams included each other? yeah. would it have been nice that when ppl#mention their names it would be to talk about what great friends they are instead of how they tore each other apart? absolutely! but they#were doomed from the start. so maybe it doesn't matter that they didn't get their traditional 'happy ending'. at least they had a happy#start and a semi-happy middle. at least they have the lift to see each other. at least nico's daughters get to keep lewis in their lives in#a way nico will never get to again. they will never share a bowl of frosties again but at least their roots are so thoroughly tangled#together that they can never look back without haunting each other. at least they still have that.#anyway for all the non-americans who reblog or like this. the poem is 'the road not taken' by robert frost. very famous in america#every middle/high schooler has to analyze/read this poem at some point. i don't know how popular he is outside of america so i thought id#leave a note ig.#anyway. i am going crazy and i need to lie down. that 2nd line was sooo hard to find a photo for. wth does 'hence' even mean???#brocedes edit#brocedes#f1 web weaving#f1#nico rosberg#lewis hamilton#f1 edit#nr6#lh44#web weaving
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Sejanus is like Chappell Roan in the sense that he was only ever meant to be loved by queer people, but it got out of hand, and now there’s way too many cishets who don’t get him, expressing opinions about him.
Sejanus I’m sorry that your character keeps getting absolutely murdered and turned into everything you’re not, just cause a bunch of straight girls wanna fuck the actor who played you in that horrible adaptation, and keep projecting their fantasies onto you, and aside from how bad that is, they won’t even admit the objective truth that the actor was actually a terrible pick for you and he doesn’t fit you at all
#i always hold my tongue let me be a bitch!!!!!!#i’m tiireddddddd#also kindly asking for no reblogs <3#and this is a joke but also not#the wording is a joke but i mean everything i said#and guess what? i’m right about everything i said too!!!#he’s a gay for the gays not whatever the fuck is going on in this fandom#the problem is not cishet people in itself#the problem is cishet people who go against everything canon about him to change him into whatever they want to fulfill their fantasies#i’m sorry girls but book sejanus aka the only valid sejanus is a homosexual 18yo who likes older men#and he’s not a buff dom daddy IN THE SLIGHTEST#nor is he manly like josh is#he’s canonically still very boyish and childlike there’s actually nothing manly about him#if he were real none of you would like him as much as you think you do or would have a chance with him#this fandom talks about a completely made up character or oftentimes ABOUT CORIOLANUS SNOW slapping sejanus’s name on it#and it’s…. questionable to say the least and to be very kind about it#also enjoy the movie enjoy the casting whatever the fuck but don’t pretend it’s good!!!!#the casting in tbosas is just as ass as in the other movies both for side characters and for the main characters#and josh is not one bit suited for the role of sejanus for multiple reasons#nothing to do with his acting skills but no i’m not gonna get into it#that’s a post in and of itself the tags are not its place to be#and the fandom isn’t ready to hear it anyways nor would want to#it would either fall on deaf ears or ppl would get offended and defensive without hearing reason#many straight up wouldn’t care and would keep mischaracterizing sejanus to fit their little fantasies#which is just weird as fuck let's be honest#in general the fandom’s treatment of sejanus is absolutely fucking disgusting but i’ll hold my tongue for longer on that#might delete this at some point might not#definitely not tagging properly cause this is just me getting stuff off my chest
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I know we all hate Fandom Wiki when it comes to it's usage as an actual wiki for various media because the website design is dog shit, but I feel like we need to at least respect it for it's role as a complete Wild West for 8 year olds on the internet to create elaborate fanons for their ideas about theoretical reboots and spinoffs and video game tie-ins of random kids shows. They're out there making full show bibles and scripts and 5 year business plans for their spin-offs of Fairly Oddparents and Veggietales for no one but themselves, just as god intended the internet to be used for. We need to design a better website for them to put this shit on because it's a shame that Fandom has a stranglehold on the market of entire wikis made exclusively for things that are entirely made up and only exist in the brains of like 3 random kids on the internet.
#i do not mean this to make fun of the children and adults who do this btw. live your best life.#but sometimes i stumble upon these things in Google search results and i go down a rabbit hole for hours just reading a random persons wiki#the only problem i have with it is that sometimes google will give me fandom wiki links as Real Search Results#which is usually fine if it's a popular wiki but sometimes it just gives me entirely made up shit#like the time i googled what the name of Timmy Turners dad was and it gave me what was basically a random name#because apparently the only result it could find where someone answered this question was a fandom wiki#for someone's deep and convoluted Fairly Oddparents theoretical reboot canon. like there were multiple show ideas and spinoffs#whole episode plots were written with episode counts and seasons and show development history#all of it entirely made up. did not exist in real life.#i respect the dedication but Google this is how misinformation spreads.
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I see your ‘Tech’s alive bc the show knows how to explicitly confirm deaths and gave us multiple on screen examples of that’ and raise you one ‘Tech’s death wasn’t meaningless, insignificant, or just for stakes and shock value bc the show gave us multiple on screen examples of what that actually looks like’
#samson#greer#nemec#fireball (mostly his was a ~bit better)#the cx troopers#multiple clone prisoners on tantiss#SCORCH!#Like come on don’t tell me Tech was ‘done so dirty’ when we all saw what those mfs did to Scorch#and for literally no reason at all! The only thing he has in common with that character is his name#we could even go back further#wilco#wyler#nova#hexx#veetch#any of the regs that the bad batch literally killed bc they couldnt be bothered to put their blasters on stun#any and all clones who died in TCW like:#longshot#charger#colt#cutup#etc etc#look i’m not saying you have to accept his death or whatever i'm just so tired of the favoritism#I know people didn’t want him to die#but that doesn't mean you have to reduce his sacrifice#tbb#tbb tech#regs deserve better#clones deserve better
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Hi. Sorry to bother you. Was just wondering if you were working on anything Ted lasso at the moment? I've been rereading all your works! They're my fav
Thank you for the ask, I'm always happy to take questions! Unfortunately I continue to be incapable of working on more than one fic at a time, and at the moment, the one fic is my original sci-fi novel Arson and Other Fires. That being said, I do have ~4 TL fics in various stages of planning and might either take a break between parts 1 and 2 of AaOF to work on them, or take another stab at doing the multiple WIPs thing once I'm free from the admittedly self-imposed torment nexus that is applying to PhD programs.
Here's what I have outlined for 5 times someone suspected something was up with Jamie, +1 time they said something about it:
One (season 1): who remembers their first drink of alcohol, anyway?
Two (2x03ish): Sam mentions he got the idea for the Dubai Air protest because his dad was upset the team had them as a sponsor, and suddenly Jamie's being... weird every time he gets a phone call from Ola
Three: Things are weird after Wembley. Isaac tries to be a good captain.
Four: In which Roy feels bad for slapping food out of Jamie's hand, and Jamie doesn't understand why
Five: Jamie's depressed and talkative
+One: Jamie comes back form Manchester with a manic energy and a head full of stories about his dad. Everyone else is alarmed
#ted lasso fanfic#jamie tartt#asks#thank you!#both my jobs are the type where there's a really clear delineation between when you're working and when you're not#so i am somewhat optimistic about actually being able to do the multiple wip thing for once#it's just that the timeslot i would be using in my day to work on another wip is being taken up with the torment nexus you know how it is#applications for the main canadian graduate funding competition are due in 10 days so soon i'll be free#by which i mean phd program applications open mid-october so i'll be busy with that instead 🫠#anyway sorry for complaining in the tags i appreciate you and i'm glad you enjoy my fics!#kvetch oc#(i almost reflexively signed off on this with my actual real meat-space name like an email. so that's how my day is going)
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oh my god i'm so mad i spent a week troubleshooting this imaging that wasn't working because the microscope company says you have to use their proprietary dyes, called "red" and "orange". and i just could not see "orange" on my scope no matter what i did so there was no point taking samples over to the fancy scope and making someone else help me set it up bc i wouldn't get any good images anyway. this persisted even after i ordered new dye and swapped which targets i was dying with it which makes absolutely no sense
i've just figured it out
in life sciences microscopy "orange" and "red" have standardized meanings for which filter/laser stimulation goes with them. orange is in the 530-550nm range. red is in the 590s. above about 600 is "far red". every single company in existence agrees on this
except this company. their "orange" is 590. their "red" is 650. orange has not been working because i have been looking in the "orange" channel for the signal, when i should have been looking in the "red" channel, because their orange dye is red. and their red dye is far red. you know. obviously
#on the one hand i actually should have caught this. on the other hand one coworker who's used these before listened to me say#'so you could definitely see the orange dye using the orange/gold filter' and said 'yes definitely'#and another LOOKED UP THE DYE SPECTRA FOR ME and then said 'yeah no that should be showing up in orange range!'#so the naming on this thing is so powerful that it has apparently overriden multiple people's ability to process written and spoken words#and why wouldn't it. there's a known color that's orange. we all know about orange. orange is known to us.#im going to lose my fucking mind.#if you click through enough pages they eventually helpfully explain that their orange dye is 594. just like. other orange dyes.#i was told MULTIPLE TIMES that it's a cy3 filter dye. meaning orange. but it's not!!! it's red! it's just red! i'm going to lie down and di#box opener
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whoever stole my account information in order to spend $127 on [checks notes] roku purchases, i hope you have incurable hangnails on every finger and toe for the rest of your shitty life.
#does that seem disproportionate?#i promise it's not#because my former manager decided that me being in australia dealing with my dad's death#and me attempting to contact said manager about a dozen times and getting no response#and then me opening multiple HR tickets and getting NO RESPONSE#equates to me ''abandoning my position''#so i currently have no income and only $43 to my name since someone decided my broke ass was a good candidate for theft#plus because of all the fraudulent charges i had to lock my account#which had the utterly ridiculous and undisclosed effect of not only blocking charges to my account but CREDITS#which means that when i decided to make a sensible mental health decision#and withdrew from the class i was taking this quarter so that i could give myself time to grieve#with the intention of enrolling in the same class next quarter instead#the tuition refund got blocked#and is now just like. hanging in no mans land.#so i can't enroll in the class for next quarter yet because i can't access the money i intended to use for it#and the classes only have space for 15 students#and it's going to take 7-10 days for the bank to issue my new card and for my account to be functional#so now i've got a new thing to be stressed about#when i was specifically trying to give myself a break from stress#so yeah i hope the person who stole from me has a shit day forever#hope they get little bits of egg shell in everything they eat#and that they can always faintly smell dog poop as if they stepped in it but can never find the source#cass says things
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part of finnikin's problem is that he spends a not insubstantial portion of his time attempting to live up to the (perceived) standard of trevanion's son. even though his whole thing is being bartolina's son. & when he's not rejecting one entirely in favour of the other is when he does his best work
#dreaming of bartolina & going down to the valley was one of like. 3 solid moments he had in the whole of book 3#i don't mean to insult trev here btw this is not something he's encouraging (outside of more general lumateran masculinity)#like my man. your name is finnikin of the ROCK. get cool with it quick smart or you are going to hurt everyone in your life + yourself#finnikin. finnikinnnnn. stop trying to live up to impossible standards & just let yourself be multiple things at once i promise you (&#everyone you know) will be happier for it
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i read this one uu fic where ash knows tht spoke is spoke inthe mafia episode and its lkke him giving spoke a ceremony outfit and its kinda gay with all of the caressing and shit but idk if i like them that way Id prefer to see them in a toxic platonic way but the author might make them kiss if they make a sequel but ill pretend that its a cheek kiss instead if they do
#its a shame cuz its my fav fic so far#but if they do oh well I wont complain i wont be mean it might be kinda weird cuz spoke is 17 inthink Oh wow hes a year older tha me thats#crazy ngl not sure how to process that but#I really liked the fic because it was so good in making ash manipulative but also I dont have much to complain over#I wouldve said that spokes too dumbed down in the fic but hes stupid in uu#well not stupid I need to stop using that word so freely its moreso uhrr#He struggles with making decisions quickly and processing things and that causes people(ash) to take advantage of him#in ls hes the leader in uu he follows#really visible with him and mapicc 'Follow me me me!' 'Lets go go go!'#I do love the fic a lot I really want to see how the ceremony would play out#because ashalso fkrced spoke to drink aglass of milk and told him not to go invis and i assume theres gonna be multiple invis players#which would be reallyyyy interesting#Lkke the guy with the biggest mark on his head is getting a ceremony. something no other diamond player has got. this guy that everyone has#been told to kill on sight is rigth next to ash sorta like a right hand man situation but he doesn't have a say in anything it kinda plays#more into spoke being some sort of thropy but i dont want to objectify him in my mind cuz thats ickyyyyy#ash : I cant stop winning#!#I want to see ash make spoke come with him when hes taunting parrot loke inthe recent uu episode#I reallly loved that#I might become an uu ash fan but In our system we have a uu mapicc (named mape cuz we got 2 mapiccs) So When he finds out i like ash#hes gonna get mad but like I dont support his actions theyre clearly bad and flawed and evil like ls wemmbu but i csnt bring myself but to#like them#I say as I remember the evil alter forming sensation in my brain#We already got ls wemmbu Dont tell me were gonna get uu ash inhere too#Ohhh god this is gonna be so fucking bad#text
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dude with the stink i saw everyone in the comments throwing about cyrus's death i thought the ruling on chromatic orb was what killed him. but it wasn't, it was getting attacked by the giant fucking spider afterwards. and like you can make the argument that "well if the chromatic orb hadn't hit he wouldn't have gone down" like y'all. the party was up against a literal god. "it was unfair blah blah blah" yeah that's the point. when mortals tangle with the gods they lose. the DM had so many tools at her disposal to get the outcome she wanted, one stray hit did not make a difference.
#cr3#like yeah its not the way cr is normally run#but like#it's meant to be a small breather to parallel the journey bh is going through atm#and underscore the themes of the larger campaign#sometimes. dnd isn't fair. and that's the point.#multiple dms in cr history have put the party in unwinnable scenarios but its suddenly a problem#“chromatic orb doesn't work that way” we literally just finished a whole arc where trying to cast sending caused psychic damage#show me in the PHB where it says that's how sending works#like idk it just feels like complaining abt every minor unfair ruling during the crownkeepers interlude is massively missing#1. the main theme of the entire campaign#2. the reason that interlude even happened in the first place#ppl are like “well why play dnd at all then”#because its fun and it would be silly to make everyone learn a new system for 3 hours of game time#because if the players just sat there and narrated the whole thing people wouldn't be any less pissed off#the fact that people think the DM was being unnecessarily adversarial even though other DMs have ALSO gotten playfully mean at times#like hm i wonder why it's suddenly a problem now#im not using names bc i dont want ppl to find this in the tags
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oh my god
#our flag means death spoilers#ofmd spoilers#IM LITERALLY GOING INSANE#ofmd s2 spoilers#our flag means death#ofmd#ofmd season 2#our flag means death s2#ofmd s2 ep5#LIKE OH MY GOD#I CANT BELIEVE LUCIUS PROPOSED AND PETE SAID YES#AND THEN BLACKBONNET KISSED#is their ship name blackbonnet or gentlebeard#theres multiple
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being evaluated for adhd by having one of those full psych evals that last like two hours. scared frightened etc.... last time i took it i lied extensively bc i was 13 and thought they might tell my mommy if i said i had suicidal thoughts. and i still have a habit of lying to therapists bc i'm embarrassed......... AGH idk. what if i take it and they tell me that the reason im Like This is bc im genuinely just weird and shitty and not bc im mentally ill at all. SCARED
#which is dumb bc i have been formally diagnosed with multiple mental illnesses i dont think they can just take it back right?????#this is so stupid and cliche but what if i have been faking it........ all along........ Argh.#when i was in res i was put on adderall (bc the house psych just kind of experimented w meds LMFAO) and i had to go off them after like#two weeks bc it was affecting my appetite in a way i couldnt afford at the time lmao. but i do genuinely feel like it helped during that#time.... which is why i want to go on it again!!!! but im scared theyll just be like nah and i wont be able to take any of my meds anymore#is that crazy. am i being crazy rn. idk i truly do think most of my experiences w school and like. life could be explained by adhd and#when i was a kid they thought i had it but the two meds they tried didnt work for me so they just. kind of gave up#and i was really extremely unable to do school and graduated hs w an insanely low gpa and then dropped out of community college. LMAO. not#that people w adhd cant be good in school i just couldnt make myself do homework and couldnt listen in class bc i was too busy focusing on#listening. if that makes sense#IDK. idk. i know it's become like. a trend to have adhd is the issue and everything is being attributed to having it so im worried that ive#like. accidentally fallen in w that? even though ive thought i had it for forever and everyone has been like girl do you have this. IDK!!!!#idk. idkkkk im just like. genuinely scared. it's not the end of the world if im not diagnosed obviously but that means that#im just like this for no reason at all. and there's no way of helping it bc it's just the way i am. and i actually am just shitty n lazy.#epic. which incidentally is the proper name for how fucking long these tags are my bad. if you read this far sorry for being insane 👍
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There's an English class on Golden Age detective fiction being offered next semester but the prerequisite for it is the intro to literary study class required for all English majors (which I haven't taken because I'm in a hard STEM major and don't have much time for electives, which means that I have to be really picky with my electives and only go for stuff I like AND doesn't have an awful workload) and also even if I did have that prereq, I wouldn't be able to take the class because it's at the same time as one of my major reqs. And also I'll be in two labs next semester and one of them is pure hell so like I literally don't have the time to take more than 13 credit hours (as tempting as it is to keep up my streak of taking 17-18 every semester even though it's been like really pretty bad for my social life and hobbies). Sigh. (Pressing my hand wistfully against the glass) maybe someday they'll offer the class again
#.txt#at least i had a blast in my sci-fi class this semester#i don't talk about sf on this blog because that's what my secret main is for but guys i LOVE sf you should read more sf#i'm currently sitting at an a+ in that class and my professor has been giving me SUCH good feedback on all my assignments#he used one of my short essays as the class example (which has never happened to me before!)#and also asked if he could use my creative writing midterm project as an example for future classes#and on the last day of class he quickly went through some powerpoint slides recapping the class#and on one of them he had a drawing i submitted as part of a different creative assignment :)#also we read a book from one of my all-time favorite authors in that class AND he visited our class too which was absolutely insane#won't mention the author's name because his books comprise like half the posts on my main. i'm insaaaaane i'm craaaazyyy#currently trying to figure out which topic to write my final paper on but i will definitely be writing about that book#english classes are actually such a morale boost#the only reason i'm not an english major is because that would actually for real kill me#i'm good at writing essays but the process is actually agonizing and i'm a ridiculous perfectionist when it comes to writing#so combining that with poorly medicated adhd means that i almost never turn essays in on time#and spend way too long suffering over each one to make sure they're as perfect as i can get them to be (unattainable standard)#and then they also always end up going way over the word count#for my crime fiction class in the spring i wrote a 19-page final paper about decagon house when i only needed a minimum of 8#and i honestly could have written even more but i had to stop myself because the paper was already like 2 or 3 days late#and i had been staying up until dawn every night trying to finish it#so basically i can hardly handle having ONE english class#having to take multiple and turn in so many essays on a regular basis is a literal death sentence#i'm taking 2 upper level classes for my other major (haven't declared it yet though) this semester#and i have to write final papers for both of them :') and the instructions are super vague and they're due in a WEEK#one of them is SLIGHTLY more clear because i just need to write about the results of my research project#however. i was unfortunately only given 3 weeks (one of which was thanksgiving so basically i was only given 2)#to design and execute this whole project#and i got a little too ambitious (as i tend to do) and even though i ended up cutting out a lot of the stuff i wanted to do from the projec#it'll still definitely take ages to finish (conducted my experiments yesterday and spent 11 hours in that building. hell on earth)#and that's on top of needing to study for and take 3 final exams...
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