#also enjoy the movie enjoy the casting whatever the fuck but don’t pretend it’s good!!!!

[sejarcus-archive]

Sejanus is like Chappell Roan in the sense that he was only ever meant to be loved by queer people, but it got out of hand, and now there’s way too many cishets who don’t get him, expressing opinions about him.

Sejanus I’m sorry that your character keeps getting absolutely murdered and turned into everything you’re not, just cause a bunch of straight girls wanna fuck the actor who played you in that horrible adaptation, and keep projecting their fantasies onto you, and aside from how bad that is, they won’t even admit the objective truth that the actor was actually a terrible pick for you and he doesn’t fit you at all

[eyesofshinigami]

Boyfriend Privileges

Rating: T

CW: None

Tags: Just getting together, language, fluff

Prompt: For @sparklyslug "Love is letting him pick the music"

WC: 959

Written for @steddielovemonth Day 21

The rules were simple in Steve’s car. Wipe your feet before you get in. No snacks or drinks. And most importantly, don’t touch the fucking radio.

Steve is very particular about his music. He likes what he likes and he won’t hear anything about it. He likes pop music because it’s happy, it’s fun, and it gives him something mindless to sing along to when his head feels too full.

Even when the kids complain, or Robin teases him, Steve is steadfast. Whatever is playing is what’s going to play, and no one is going to be able to say anything about it. 

But then Eddie came crashing into his life like a hurricane. 

Eddie is a lot of things that Steve isn’t. He’s confident and loud, brash and unapologetic in just about everything he does. They’re also the same, sometimes; they’re both scarred, both of them just wanting to be loved, to be understood. 

Falling for Eddie was a quiet thing, for Steve. It crept up on him until one day he looked at Eddie, smiling and laughing as he and the kids were gathered around the table playing their dragons game, and he thought oh. Oh I want to be with this person for the rest of my life. 

That’s where it started, and now they’re here. It’s only been a couple of days since Eddie beat him to the punch and confessed first. They kissed, they touched, and decided that this is something they both wanted. Steve could hardly believe that Eddie wanted him back. 

They hadn’t told the kids yet; not that they were hiding it, but they were both enjoying just being together and figuring out what exactly that meant. But it’s good already, with Eddie giving him a sweet, private smile as he slides into the front seat. Steve had volunteered to pick the whole gaggle of them up from the arcade so he could bring them back to his house for a movie night. 

“Heya Stevie,” Eddie says, pulling his hair across his mouth. It’s enough to make Steve’s heart start beating fast even over the sound of the boys climbing into the backseat. “Happy to see me?”

“Always,” Steve answers honestly. Eddie’s cheeks turn a delightful shade of pink and Steve mourns the fact that he can’t leave over and kiss him. Soon, he tells himself. Once they drop the kids off, they’ll go back to Eddie’s trailer and-

“We’re burning daylight, Steve! I thought we were going to watch a movie or something!” Dustin’s voice breaks through the lovesick haze that had settled over them.

Steve grumbles and turns the car on. “Keep your shirt on, butthead. We’re going now.” That incites another bout of grumbling and arguing from the backseat. “Don’t make me regret offering you guys the chance to use the TV. Or make me consider throwing out all those snacks I bought, or sending the pizza back…” 

Eddie pretends to swoon and presses his hand to his forehead. “Oh no, please, oh gracious King of my Heart! Do not let the ramblings of the peasants cast a shadow upon your infinite kindness and patience!” He looks up at Steve with big, wide eyes that make Steve think a whole lot of other things besides the upcoming movie night. “What can this fair knight do to assuage the slight against your good name?”

“I could think of a few things,” he says, just loud enough for Eddie to hear. It makes a pretty cat-like grin break out across Eddie’s face. Oh, the things they’re going to do later…

Eddie seems to be on the same page, licking his lips as he reaches up to the radio. He pushes the button and pops the tape out, slipping in  the he’d made for Steve the night they decided they wanted to give this a go. It makes Steve’s heart skip a beat. 

It’s probably why it takes him so long to realize that the backseat has gone completely silent. No squabbling, so arguing, no nothing. Dead silent. Eddie picks up on it too, turning around in his seat to stare at them. “Did someone press the mute button? What gives?”

“You touched the radio,” comes Will’s voice from the back, sounding awed. 

“Yeah? And? Steve always lets me put music on.”

That gets a reaction. Dustin and Mike start squawking protests. “What the hell, Steve?? You never let us pick the music? You don’t even let Robin touch the radio! What are the three rules of riding in the Bimmer?” Dustin calls out.

“Wipe your feet. No snacks or food. And most importantly, don’t touch the radio,” the other boys in the back chorus together. 

Eddie turns and looks at Steve, smile getting impossibly wider. “Is that so?” 

He could deny it. He could lie and say they’re just being shitheads about it. It’d be really easy. “Yeah. Yeah it is true. But you know,” Steve stops, reaching over and grabbing Eddie’s hand to press a kiss to the back of it. His heart is pounding, but it’s worth it for the stars he sees in Eddie’s eyes. “You’re the exception to the rule.”

The backseat erupts in a whole different bout of noise, but Steve tunes it out. He’s too busy enjoying the way he and Eddie’s fingers are laced together over the console, the mixtape Eddie made for him playing in the background. 

“Does this mean you’ll let us eat in the car now?” Mike tries, sounding put out. 

Steve shakes his head. “Absolutely fucking not.” Though, he looks over at Eddie, who is still grinning like the cat who got the canary. “Except you. Boyfriend privileges and all that.”

It’s worth the noise coming from the back.

[itsallyscorner]

I was wondering if you can write something about reader x marvel cast where they go on the tour bus with James Corden. Maybe reader is dating a costar (you can choose who)

💌

We Are Avengers

Pairing: Marvel cast x reader, Sebastian Stan x Fem!reader

Summary: Basically what happens during James Corden’s Star Star Tour😌

Warnings: None :)

Hello darling, thank you for the request! I apologize that it took so long for me to write, but I’ve been busy with school and I’ve been lacking motivation in general. But thank you so much for this request, it gave me the chance to rewatch one of my favorite Marvel cast videos so thank you for that as well, it never fails to make me smile. I hope you don’t mind that I chose Seb as the co-star you’re dating! Also, yes, I know I’ve been writing a lot of headcanons but writing this as a headcanon seems like the best way to write it for me😭 I’m gonna add in some pictures that the cast took with their disposable cameras, so enjoy😉

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(GIF from Pinterest)

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When it was mentioned that you and some other members of the Infinity War cast were going to be on James Corden, you were very excited.

You enjoyed making appearances on late night talk shows; Jimmy Fallon, Jimmy Kimmel—they were always fun to be on. Though you’ve always loved making appearances on James Corden’s show.

When you first heard about being on The Late Late Show, you were expecting to do a typical interview in the studio that would lead to playing a game later on in the show.

What you didn’t expect was to be led out to the parking lot with the rest of the cast, only to be greeted by a double decker bus with James’ face plastered alongside it.

At first you were all a bit confused but one of the producers came up to you all and explained the segment you were all filming.

Everyone was buzzing with exhilaration waiting to get on the bus. One by one you were called up, you being paired with Sebastian.

Wait, he would make you go up the stairs first so he can stay behind you, making sure you don’t fall. Omg and he would place his hand on your lower back too😭🥺

“Wow—Marvel’s own power couple, it’s such an honor to have you both on here. Thank you for coming!” James greeted the both of you. Partially acting because the cameras were rolling.

You and Sebastian beamed at him, proud of the title the fans and your cast mates have given you both over the years. “It’s always a pleasure to see you, James.”

James gives you both your name tags, pausing mid way while he was handing Seb his. James’ gaze shifts between you and Seb, “I’m sorry, you’re just both so beautiful.”

Seb bashfully thanks him, pulling you towards the seats, as you giggle behind him.

You and Seb sit towards the back, behind Don and Tom.

You all sit tight, talking amongst yourselves as you wait for the bus to start. In the seats were disposable cameras and some Late Late Show merch.

The bus hasn’t started driving yet, but you were all having too much fun with the disposable cameras.

Everyone was just taking pictures of each other. You and Seb took a couple selfies and some stolen shots of the others, mostly Anthony.

You even got a cute shot of Don and Tom:

Yes I know they used disposable cameras but I decided to tie in my ‘Polaroid’ series into this even though they’re not using Polaroids—just go with it😭

Being the more social one in the relationship, you were going up and down the aisle talking to everyone.

Seb stayed towards the back with Anthony and Winston. While you were at the front talking to Lizzie and Chris.

Being sad when you were all told to go sit down because you had to leave Lizzie.

Though it probably wasn’t shown in the video, I just KNOW that the filming for this segment was chaotic as fuck.

Chaotic in a good way.

But the whole bus was loud I just know it.

You could hear Mackie across from you talking loudly and laughing that contagious laugh of his.

You, Lizzie, Pom, and Zoe attempting to talk to each other from different spots on the bus over everyone else’s voice.

Chris and Paul can also be heard laughing all the way from the back.

James feeling like a parent because it felt like he was babysitting a bunch of toddlers.

The whole thing was freaking chaotic from the start, I mean ya’ll started the ‘tour’ with Benedict and Chris rubbing sunscreen on James’ legs.

Everyone passing around the sunscreen after, because it was sunny as hell and no one thought of wearing sunscreen.

Seb being a cheeky asshole and ‘accidentally’ smearing sunscreen across your face.

“Sebastian!” You gasped before a flash of light went off on you. When your eyes recovered from the flash you see Seb holding up a camera at you, snickering to himself.

James began to act as your guide, pointing out things like a coffee shop and explaining what it is.

All of you being childish and pretending to not know what a coffee shop or what a line is.

Laughing at Don when he got out of his seat and took a picture of the coffee shop. Like how he got into an over exaggerated position just to take a picture was funny.

Everyone being childish and acting as actual tourist in Los Angeles. Like pointing things out and asking about them or taking pictures of literally everything you drove by.

When Reggie Watts began that sing along thing everyone joined in, bopping and dancing along to the beat.

Like you guys are just having a really great time, happy to be in each other’s presence.

You could hear Sebby singing along to Reggie beside you, and you couldn’t help but just adore him singing and having fun.

He’d notice your stare, he may have had sunglasses on, but you could see the crinkle of his eyes from behind his sunglasses as he smiled at you.

“Na, na, na, na, na, na!” Seb repeated, leaning towards you to press a kiss on your temple.

Throughout the whole ride, he’d have his arm along the back of your seat or have it across your lap.

After the sing along, James went back to acting as a tour guide. He pointed to a red building—whatever it was—and deemed it as “Barbra Streisand’s holiday home”.

Josh Brolin, who was sat along at the back of the deck, raised his hand. “Excuse me! I—uh don’t mean to interrupt, but I have to use the bathroom. Can I use the bathroom?”

James pretending to cringe and telling him that in order to use the bathroom you have to be in three or more Marvel movies to use the bathroom—end credits don’t count.

Everyone being childish once again and yelling “OHHHHHHH!” Like a bunch of school kids.

James points to Tom, “Tom Hiddleston do you need the bathroom?”

Tom, with his soft voice and a small shrug says, “I’m actually okay!”

James then points to you and Seb, “My lovebirds at the back, Sebastian, (Y/n), do either of you need the bathroom?”

You and Seb glance at each other, “Nah we’re good.” Your boyfriend answers.

“Yeah, I used the bathroom before we came here.” You look behind your shoulder at Josh, a smug expression on your face, “Unlike some people.”

Josh flipping you off while everyone laughs at him.

Since Anthony and Seb aren’t sitting together, I just know that Anthony would be yelling at Seb from across the bus to get his attention.

No seriously, I saw them in the background of the video and even heard Mackie yelling lmao😭😂

“(Y/n) call Sebastian!” Anthony yelled at you from across the bus, pointing to the man beside you with a grin on his face.

You chuckle and nudge Seb, “Your boyfriend’s calling you.”

Seb would shake his head at you and turn his attention to Anthony; who just wanted to take a picture of Seb from his side of the bus.

James trying to get spoilers out of all of you but thankfully you all aren’t Tom Holland or Mark Ruffalo.

“Does anyone on this bus die in the next Avengers?” James asked. Suddenly you were all quiet, not a word coming out of any of you.

Until Paul began to scream his infamous line, “snITCHES END UP IN DITCHES!”

Getting confused when James suddenly asked the bus to stop and ran off the bus.

Next thing you know, you’re all hopping off the bus and walking into a comic store with a Spider-Man statue at the front.

Seb motioned to the statue and looked back and Anthony, “We gotta get a picture with that.”

Anthony instantly agreeing—he was willing to do anything to tease Tom Holland.

Seb’s not that huge with PDA, but he always needs to be touching you. So he’ll be interlocking your hands with his the moment you walk off the bus and all the way into the comic store.

Feeling thrilled to surprise the people who were shopping at the store.

You all walked around, mingled with some fans, taking selfies with them, and signed a few things.

You were looking at some Funko Pops with Lizzie when you felt a small tap on your leg.

You looked down to see a small girl looking up at you with wide eyes full of admiration. In her tiny hands was a Funko Pop of your character.

You and Lizzie instantly coo at the toddler, crouching down to her level so you can talk.

“Hey, sweetheart!” You greet her, taken back when she suddenly wraps her arms around you into a hug. You laugh wrapping your arms around her small figure and hugging her back.

“I love you so much!” She squeals into your ear, arms tightening around you. Your heart swelled as she excitedly babbled about how much she loved your character and how you were her favorite.

“I love you too! Oh my gosh, you’re so cute!” You decide to carry the toddler, who you later learned was named Lila. Her parents scolded her for distracting you from the other fans in the store, but you brushed them off, your attention focused on your tiny fan.

You carried her around while you met other fans and signed more comic books and merch.

You even introduced her to your other cast mates.

Sebastian’s heart absolutely melting at the sight of you with a baby.

Homie wants to wife you up one day and seeing you with a baby made his baby fever sky rocket.

“Lila, this is Sebastian! You know who he plays right?” You ask the toddler in your arms. Sebastian ducking a bit so he could hear her over the commotion in the store.

“Yeah, he’s the wiener soldier!” She replied. Both you and Seb had to hold back your laughs at her answer.

Lila bragging about how she loves you more than Sebastian.

Seb having to agree because he doesn’t wanna make a toddler cry.

Before you all left, you took pictures with Lila and her parents and signed a bunch of her merch.

^ the boys got their picture.

You guys get back on the bus only to come back to rolls of paper under your seats.

You all sang the “Avengers” song, singing screaming the lyrics dramatically.

Don and Anthony bringing on the vocals.

Before you guys get off the bus you all take a selfie together.

Leaving Chris Hemsworth on the bus and walking off the bus with your heart all warm and fuzzy because you had an amazing time with your boyfriend and your friends :)

This is so long holy shit

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🏷 Tags ↴

*if there’s a line through your username, Tumbr won’t let me tag you*

Marvel Cast/ Avengers Tags

↪︎ @ximaginx @lozzypoz321 @sunwardsss @pokemonbong @pjokotlcmarvel201 @whoslili @111111111111111sblog @marvel-is-a-mood @blckyungblood @astroponyo @universemarvel @imthebadguyyy @roseke @bi-myself-forever @httpscarletwitch @millenniumloki @cristin-rjd @swords-are-cool @melaninfalconbucky @deamus-liv @elvish-sky @catsandbooksandsstuff @ellajoy419 @moonlight-babe99

Sebastian Stan Tags

↪︎ @theresnoplatypus @wintersoldierlover @peacelovehobbitness @milea @sunwardsss @thedenimjacket @roserose26

General Tags

↪︎ @quxxnxfhxll @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @thegirlwiththediary @agustdowney @bi-lmg @rqmanoff @sesamepancakes @stardustofreading @dracoswhore007 @swiftmind

[dizzydizney]

I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again. I am not ignorant to the problems this franchise has. I can hate the bad parts while still loving the good parts. I can say “this isn’t right” and “here’s how it could’ve been better” at the same time. I can love Uma and Mal, honestly. I’m a grown fucking woman, I contain multitudes :P

I know this series has a horrible double standard when it comes to race. Colorblind casting, female driven stories - great! Casting nearly every antagonist as a black girl, obviously not great. They really didn’t think about the optics of what they were doing and it came off in a terrible way.

I wish Uma and Audrey were treated better. And believe it or not, I have lots of problems with the way Mal was written. The movies kind of fell apart and failed to deliver on a satisfying story over all. Each movie has its high points, and they obviously all have their low points too. I mostly wish the movies were written with a lot more (read: ANY) thought and care. That any character felt like they had a satisfying arc in the end. But, that’s something we’ll never get!

You wouldn’t know it these days but fandom is not politics. Liking a “bad” character does not make you a bad person. Liking a movie or a show with shitty writing doesn’t make you a shitty person. You can say “Yes I recognize the issues with [character/movie/show] but I still choose to engage with it bcoz...” whatever! It has bad writing but you like the songs, the characters, one particular relationship, etc. 

Liking something with faults doesn’t magically make you ignorant to said thing’s faults!!

If you get an inkling of things like, in this case, the racist optics and double standards, pay attention to that! You need to be able to spot these things. Bcoz there is absolutely no such thing as pure, perfect, unproblematic media. Any and everything you can consume has SOME issue with it. Just be smart, listen to what people (especially POC, especially here) say about it. You can learn, be aware, be critical, be smart, consume, enjoy, have fun, praise the good parts, scorn the bad parts. You can do it all at once!

And I mean it’s easy to see the issues in Descendants. And it’s also easy to not want to engage in the constant negativity surrounding it. Especially in this case, and I’m sorry, when a lot of the times the argument seems to just be “If you like this character then you’re racist” end of story. It’s not accurate, and it doesn’t paint a good picture of the whole fandom when there’s no room for nuance. 

Yet again the only reason I started the whole “poor little meow meow Mal did nothing wrong” in the first place is bcoz I was fed up of all the negative takes on her. Calling her a killer ?? pretending that she’d done all sorts of evil and fucked up stuff like it was canon when there was NO evidence to suggest it. And I’m tired of that. Sure the story was unfair and she got off easy, but people are basically just writing fanfic about all her made up misdeeds so they can have MORE reasons to hate her and MORE reasons to get angry at this fictional little Disney child that doesn’t really exist! CHILL

And I’m sorry but choosing ONLY to focus your anger on Mal and saying it’s because of double standards in the story, and then turning around and excusing other characters for the same shit that Mal does... That’s funny. 

Anyway long story short to answer your question Nonny. I don’t think H is singling me out but I’m sure I’m lumped in there with everyone else. Like it’s not even funny anymore. But nothing anyone says is going to change anyone’s minds so. Everyone feels how they feel and we’re all just screaming into the blue void of tumblr

[opaldraws]

Dandelion

Billy never thought that he would become a dad. Besides believing that it wouldn’t be possible for a person like him, he also was scared shitless. He’d seen first hand what happens when the wrong kind of person became a parent, he knew how screwed up things could get. He had this huge fear that he would ruin a kid’s life. And even though Steve had assured him countless times that Billy would be a fantastic dad if they were to have a kid, he also accepted that Billy wasn’t ready for fatherhood and he may never be. So Steve never pushed the idea.

Then Max had a baby.

Out of the pair, no one expected Billy would be the one hit with baby fever.

Max was only able to get three weeks of leave from her work, so Billy volunteered to help out with little Julien. Julien was precious: He slept for long hours and rarely cried, he loved playing peek-a-boo and was easily entertained by crinkly paper, and when he got especially fussy, all Billy had to do was put him in his swing and Julien would knock right out.

Billy would come home from Max and Lucas’ and gush to Steve about whatever him and Julien got up to that day. It was usually the same sort of stuff, babies don’t really do that much, but Steve would listen fondly to Billy’s report while they cooked dinner together. Eventually Max found a sitter and changed her work hours, so Billy didn’t spend as much time with the runt.

A few years passed and Billy mentioned having kids of their own. Steve and him were in bed, the light on the nightstand casting enough light for Billy to read but not too much that Steve couldn’t doze off.

“Steve.” Billy ruffled Steve’s hair gently, letting his hand wander down to rub his back. Steve blinked over at him sleepily, his eyes a little unfocused without his glasses.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, frowning.

“No, nothing’s wrong. I just… I’ve been thinking lately, maybe we could look into adoption?” Billy wrung his hands together nervously. When Steve didn’t answer immediately, Billy interjected, “Only if you want to, of course! Fuck, nevermind. It’s stupid, I shouldn’t have even brought it up.”

Billy picked his book up, not able to look back at his partner. Steve hadn’t seen him this nervous since Billy had asked him to marry him. This conversation caught Steve off guard- and not only because he was half asleep. They’d talked about kids before when they were freshly married (technically unofficially, but whatever), Billy said he didn’t think he’d ever want to go down that path. And now, Billy was bringing it up.

“Babe, it’s not stupid.” Steve said seriously. “I want to do that with you.”

...

Adoption for two gay men in 2000 wasn’t easy. They were basically at the bottom of the ‘list’ of candidates and they’d been through multiple near adoptions that eventually fell through in just the past two years. Steve was beginning to lose hope, but Billy stayed determined. He called the adoption agency every week and he stopped by in person once a month. Steve told him he was probably bothering the agency, he said that they had their application and when the right kid came along, everything would work out. Billy’s perspective wasn’t quite as rose-colored as Steve’s: He realized that the agency didn’t want a same-sex couple adopting a baby. They may not outright say it, but he could tell. Billy wanted to show them that they were just as serious as any other couple.

In November of 2001, they got the call from the agency. The weekend before they brought their daughter home, Billy and Steve prepared the second bedroom for their new addition. Steve excitedly put up a fresh coat of paint while Billy struggled through assembling furniture for the bedroom. When they finished, they stood side by side in the doorway, misty eyed and excited for their daughter’s homecoming.

“We’re going to be parents.” Steve sighed, he let his head fall to Billy’s shoulder.

“Fuck, I’m so scared.” Billy admitted. He took a deep breath and tried to ease the panic creeping in. Steve gently wrapped his arms around him, pulling Billy in to hold him. Billy sagged into the hug.

“I am too, but I know it’s gonna be okay.” Steve said.

“How could you know that though?” Billy asked fearfully. So many things could go wrong, what if this was a mistake? Steve tightened his arms around Billy and leaned them against the doorframe.

“Because I know you. I’ve seen you grow into the man you are today and I know you’re going to be an amazing dad.”

...

Billy knew that for every developmental milestone that Abby passed, he should be excited. Don’t get him wrong, he was beyond happy to see his daughter growing and becoming a little person… but he also got sad? Abby was growing up so fast, one day she was crawling around on the carpet and the next she was racing around the apartment wreaking havoc. It felt like only a few days ago she drooled and needed to be spoon fed, now she was talking in barely formed sentences. Sometimes Billy would just curl up next to Steve in bed at night and have to cry about how big Abby was getting. Steve would rub his back, comforting his partner as best as he could. These breakdowns started happening more frequently as Abby’s 2nd birthday got nearer and nearer. Billy was aware that he was being dramatic, but his little girl was growing up way too fast. He felt like he was going to blink and then she’d be gone, old enough not to need her dads anymore.

“Billy, stop worrying about the future, Abby’s barely two! You have got to just live for today.” Max scolded him during one of Abby’s and Julien’s playdates after he had opened up to her. It was a sunny June day and Julien was happily keeping Abby occupied on a blanket in Lucas and Max’s yard. Lucas had been called out of town for a work emergency and Steve had gotten stuck covering a late shift. The step-siblings watched the kids from the porch, periodically bringing out new toys and snacks.

“Yeah, that’s what Steve keeps telling me. That’s what everyone keeps telling me, shitbird.” Billy huffed, rolling his eyes. “I can’t help it!”

“Listen to me, I felt the same way. Every time I had to go into work, every time I left Julien with you or Lucas, or the babysitter, I was so afraid that I was missing out on his childhood. Even when I was with him, all I could think about was how I could never get this moment back. But it’s useless to think that way! I realized that I couldn’t stop time from passing so I needed to enjoy it while it lasted!” Max insisted. She grabbed his hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. Billy squeezed back. Even though Max was younger than him, he appreciated the wisdom she occasionally provided. He was happy that their days of fighting and heated arguing were left behind at the house on Cherry Lane.

Billy looked out at the yard, he watched the way Abby would giggle when Julien ran circles around her with his toy airplane. She made grabby hands at him and squealed, “My turn!” Julien passed the toy plane to her and she zoomed it around. Max gave his shoulder a hard pat and announced that she was going to get food ready. Billy walked over to the rainbow blanket and sat down beside the duo.

“Daddy attack!” Abby jumped up, discarding the airplane to wrap her arms around his shoulders and climb onto his back. He held onto her chubby little legs and she laughed into his ear. He tried not to dwell on the future, let himself enjoy the moment. “Down.” Abby instructed him and he helped her back to the ground. She plucked a nearby dandelion from the ground and held it to Billy triumphantly. “Present for you.”

“Thank you baby, I love it.” He smiled at her, taking the dandelion. She beamed at him, clearly happy that her gift was well received. He tucked the yellow flower into the breast pocket of his shirt. Julien came bounding up to them excitedly, hiding something behind his back.

“I have a present for you too, Uncle Billy!” Julien grinned and offered him a wiggling pink worm clasped between his fingers. Billy chuckled and took the worm and Julien bounded off - probably to find more worms.

Abby went back to playing with the airplane and some of Julien’s matchbox cars. She pretended that Billy’s arm was the road and rolled the cars over it, back and forth. Every so often, she would show Billy a new car, telling him which color it was or if she liked it or not. Steve had been working on colors with her a lot recently, and Abby had gotten into the habit of pointing out the colors of things frequently. It was really adorable and she always looked proud when she got the color right. And when Billy would catch those intrusive thoughts about the future, he gave it his all not to dwell on them and instead focus on Abby rolling her car over his arm. Max rejoined them with a big plate of fruit and sandwiches to share for an early dinner, calling Julien over to eat.

Before Billy knew it, a few hours had passed and the sun was beginning to set. He helped Max bring all the toys back in the house and the kids savored the last few minutes of light while they cleaned up. Billy caught a glimpse of the clock on his trip inside; It was nearing 7pm and Steve would be arriving soon to pick them up. Billy and Max tried to coax the kids inside with the promise of a movie, but Julien had other ideas.

“Five more minutes? Please? Momma, I wanna see the fireflies!” Julien tugged at Max’s pant legs, giving her his best puppy dog eyes. “I promise I’ll be good for bedtime!” For a five year old, Julien was quite the negotiator. Of course Max caved which meant that Abby also got to chase the growing number of fireflies blinking around the yard. Billy couldn’t help but grin watching the cousins running around- and periodically jumping up- to try and catch the glowing bugs. After struggling to jump high enough to reach any of the fireflies, Abby pouted at Billy.

“Hold me?” She asked and how could Billy say no? He lifted her up in the air and she swung her little hands around, attempting to catch at least one bug. Billy could tell that she was getting frustrated when each time she came back fruitless. Abby got distracted by Julien showing Max all of the bugs he had captured, a faint green-ish yellow glow coming from his closed fists. “Daddy! Want one.” Abby’s chin wobbled - one of her tell tale signs that a meltdown was coming.

“Okay honey, I’ll get you one.” He smiled and moved her so that she was propped on his hip. They walked slowly around the yard together and Billy caught one for her. He helped her get it in her hand and her eyes widened. “Now you’ve got to be real careful, you don’t want to squish it right?” Abby shook her head no, wanting to keep her new friend forever. Billy watched the way she would peek into her fist to catch a glimpse of the small bug, finding it sweet how gentle she treated it. She kissed the top of her hand and said “I love you” to the tiny insect hidden within. Billy was so transfixed with her that he didn’t notice Steve’s arrival; It startled him when a hand met the small of his back. Abby lit up even more once she saw Steve.

“Papa look! Bug!” She opened up her hand to show Steve the bug, but the firefly took the opportunity to make its escape and flew off into the night sky before Abby could close her hand. She gasped and tried to reach for it in a futile attempt. Here comes the meltdown... or so Billy thought.

“Oh Abby, it was such a beautiful firefly! Looked like it was a really good flyer too huh?” Steve smiled and Abby only pouted a little. “Now it’s going to go home and tell all of its friends about you. And we gotta go home too sweetheart, it’s getting pretty late. Let’s say bye to Julien and Aunt Max, okay?” Steve was great at de-escalating a situation, he always knew exactly the right thing to say to stop Abby’s tears. Billy put Abby back down on her feet so that she could go over to Max and Julian to say goodbye. Steve turned to Billy and gave him a quick peck on the lips before taking his hand and walking them over to the trio waiting for them.

“Seems like you were able to get out of your head today, I’m glad.” Max said to Billy during their hug.

Once their farewells were said and done and they were all loaded up into Steve’s car, the small family made the short drive back home. Steve’s hand rested over Billy’s atop his thigh, periodically giving it a light, reassuring squeeze.

Back home, Steve carried a sleepy Abby in from the car and straight to her bed (he hated for her to miss brushing her teeth, but made an exception because of the long day she had had). While Steve helped Abby get settled in, Billy headed into their bedroom. He picked one of the heavier hardcover books off the bookshelf and pulled the dandelion out of his pocket. He tucked the wilting flower between the pages, saving it so that he could remember the day. Steve came into the bedroom as he was reshelving the book, he walked straight to Billy and wrapped his arms around him.

“Had a good day?” Steve asked. Billy twisted in his grip, turning to face Steve. They shared a few slow kisses, with no intention to escalate, only to be in each other’s space after being apart for the day. Billy pulled back, hands still holding onto Steve’s waist securely.

“Yeah, it was really good.” He smiled. Sure Abby was growing up, but they had so many years ahead of them, so many warm summer days just like this one. Although Billy didn’t expect he could completely quell his anxieties about the future, he was ready to start enjoying the moments as they happened.

[joshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh]

Crunchyroll Anime Awards 2020 - My Thoughts

Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyy these are fun to do. I’m gonna preface this by saying it’s arbitrary as fuck that Beastars has to be nominated for awards in a year it didn’t even air just because of western licensing or whatever - all that does is dismiss the value of anime if they can’t be legally consumed in the west which I think as stupid and reductive as all fucking hell. So I’m just not gonna vote it in anything as like, protest I guess? And so this is a bit less one-sided since Beastars would sweep a lot of these categories lol. Also I’ve not seen Great Pretender which got nominated for tons of categories so don’t worry about that.

Starting with the big one, I’m obviously picking Eizouken. Dorohedoro and Appare Ranman are good but don’t really compete imo, and I think I’ve made clear that I find Jujutsu Kaisen boring, so yeah process of elimination lol. Gochiusa Bloom is my personal winner but just of the options available, yeah Eizouken takes it.

This one was hard since I’ve only even seen the left half lol. Natsume’s not so much the protagonist as Kaburagi is so it didn’t feel write voting for her, and tbh Yuji’s not a bad pick but he’s barely even in his own show so. Asakusa is really delightful but I think Eizouken works best on the strength of all 3 of its protagonists rather than any single one. But evidently I still voted her as a process of elimination pick so. Genuinely surprised Subaru didn’t make it into this category, he’s beyond worth it in Re:Zero s2 so it’s weird that he was passed up on. Honestly though I think I’d give it to Nana of Munou na Nana, she’s an absolute showstealer of a protagonist with amazing relationships with the world around her and the people inhabiting it and she’s just, mad fucking endearing and has brilliant development, really love her.

Haven’t seen Fruits Basket, Overhaul was Ass, Rachel sucks, Sukuna’s barely present enough to really be thought of as the main antagonist in my mind Echidna’s pretty nice but she’s never even really outwardly antagonistic with her worse moment being more morally bankrupt than directly antagonising, really these are just shit picks lol. En’s also honestly more of a protagonist since Dorohedoro jumps between its casts a lot, but he directly antagonises Caiman and more so Nikaido towards the end of the show so I guess that’s good enough for him to win, and hey I do really like the dude so like, you know. Not really sure who to go for as alternate picks though, this year was pretty weak on villains. Hugin from Deca-Dence was fun, primarily thanks to Takehito Koyasu’s performance, but not really a like, standout antagonist of the year type thing. Fuckin Mahito would’ve been a better pick for the JJK antagonist too, I might have even chosen him over En just for fitting the role better. Yeah idk man.

So like I only even have 3 options here because of shit I’ve not seen and rules I decided earlier. Khun is really boring and forgettable, Gojou’s cool and funny but not really much else, Caiman is actually really charming and based and I greatly enjoyed him, he’s an easy pick. Weird to me that Legoshi gets best boy but not best protagonist, also Demon King Academy which I haven’t seen probably wasn’t worth being nominated in both, yeah. Movies seem excempt so I can’t vote my actual boy of the year of Bondrewd, so I’m gonna nominate Ishigami from Kaguya-sama since tbh he was super based this year and I’m kinda shocked he’s not an option.

Very Easy Breezy pick given the options. Kanamori, Noi and Kaguya are the only ones I’d even consider, and Kaguya didn’t really shine that much in s2 compared to the rest. Noi is an extremely based pick and I wouldn’t mind voting her but eh, bias. I’d have put Asakusa over Kanamori here because I like her more but hey. Surprised Princess Connect isn’t here with girls as good as that show has. My personal pick is of course Setsuna Yuki from Nijijgasaki.

Daddy Daddy Do is great but this was between Easy Breezy and Kaikai Kitan for me, and tbh I just find Easy Breezy to be the more memorable song, so. Pretty confident in just that tbh, though Gomakashi from MagiReco and Aruite Ikou from Koisuru are both extremely enjoyable too.

I honestly thought LOST IN PARADISE would absolutely be my lock-in here but NIGHT RUNNING is so fucking good that this was extremely hard to choose. Honestly though with both songs being about as good as the other musically, I think LOST IN PARADISE has to win with its visuals - NIGHT RUNNING has pretty colours and one good sakuga moment with the lip sync but LOST IN PARADISE is kinda just all very colourful and clean animation with lots of bounce and personality. Don’t have alternate winners this time, I’m pretty happy giving Jujutsu Kaisen something today.

Kanamori isn’t my favourite VA performance in Eizouken, I found myself more wowed by Asakusa especially since she was voiced by a newbie. I love how Yuichi Nakamura sounds and he manages to make Gojou sound both convincingly cool and funny when the scene calls for it, but he was never really outright impressive as Gojou at any point. I adore Megumi Ogata’s voice and I liked her in Hanako-kun too, she makes Hanako sound convincingly like a shounen badass or a funny comedy character or a sadistic weirdo or just a vulnerable child depending on what the scene calls for and it’s really great, but maybe it’s on the show not being super memorable to begin with but I don’t think I was really impressed in the long term by her performance here. Yusuke Kobayashi is maybe the best male seiyuu in terms of acting and he didn’t fail to deliver with Re:Zero s2, Subaru goes through the fucking wringer and you can tell from the vocal performance alone how much that hurt the dude - “I can return by death” is a moment that reverberates through my soul with the sheer painfully emotional relief of it all. I have nothing bad to say about his performance. However, while I was blown away by it, I wasn’t necessarily surprised. I expected great and I got it. But Riho Sugiyama as Minare Koda in Nami yo Kiitekure is, quite possibly the most fucking BASED pick in any category in the history of this entire awards show. She will not win. She just won’t. She can’t. Her show wasn’t all that great and went under the radar to begin with, she doesn’t stand a chance against the absolute tanks she’s up against. But fuckin damn does she put up a fight. I called it “her” show for a reason - Riho’s performance literally makes the show. Minare is already such a charming and infectiously balls-to-the-wall exciting character to watch, and Riho was clearly absolutely thrilled while she was in the recording booth, getting to play that character so perfectly fit for her. Literal perfect casting and being an absolutely shocking force to be reckoned with in an otherwise pretty tame show is making me feel I have to vote for her. She deserves it. 

Don’t watch dubs so I checked out clips of these characters. Bam sounded fine but not amazing. I didn’t like dub Echidna’s voice. Hawks was actually just good and well cast, seems to fit the character fine. That’s it.

Tough one, I kinda want to give it to Sunghoo just because Jujutsu Kaisen is not only as visually great as it is but mr director had just gotten off of making a similarly strong looking show in God of High School. However, Eizouken is so visually inventive and striking and memorable that I just have to vote it. Don’t even have any alternate recommendations, this is just kind of a clean sweep for Eizouken.

Was really confused to see Princess Connect here until I remembered that the special effects animation was really damn good and some of the regular action could still be pretty sakuga so. But nah, God of High School. Few productions I’ve ever seen have reached that level of animation quality, yet alone for such a large majority of its runtime, it really was dummy impressive how hard the show went for its animation. Eizouken and JJK both have stronger just raw direction I’d say but God of High School made up for that by having animation so fucking strong that it made me actually invested in its unbelievably bland and messily paced shounen narrative. Like, it deserves this.

Not even hard at all lol. Eizouken’s designs are so stupid memorable and communicate so much about the girls and are really cohesive amonst themselves and their world, plus it’s great seeing very unconventionally cute yet still cute girls that have like, different builds and faces lol. BNA is a strong contender to be sure, but not really because the only design that really stuck with me is Michiru, because she has nice colours and better fashion, but she looks kinda stupid when she’s not furry too so, yeah. Gochiusa and Love Live and Princess Connect are also great choice that I might go for since cute girls, but Eizouken really do be hard to beat. Surprised Deca-Dence didn’t get nominated here too but whatever.

This Akudama Drive fight scene was literally the only one for which I was inested in the emotions any large amount at all lol. Gojou vs Sukuna and Jin vs Jegal are only really visual spectacles, Bercouli vs Vecta and Jin vs Daewi are too but with slightly better emotions though still not enough, Deku vs Overhaul is honestly shit, and Brawler vs Master is a visual spectacle with very strong emotions and great setpieces and a resolution I gave a fuck about - I gave several fucks in fact. Yeah, easy winner of the whole year for me.

Yesterday was boring, Japan Sinks should be in comedy, Somali was just actually a very compelling, emotional, and raw drama - the drama may not be what most of the runtime is but it’s certainly present enough to be valid imo, so I’m pretty happy to vote it for first.

Where’s Japan Sinks? Anyway Eizouken’s more exciting than funny and Kaguya s2 was better at being emotional, while Kakushigoto’s comedy is good and enhanced by Kamiya Hiroshi but the mystery is what really made that show for me. Maoujou though is just actually extremely funny for literally its entire runtime, which is really hard to do, so I’m happy to vote it. Though honestly Dorohedoro should be an option here too - don’t know if I’d vote it over Maoujou but it’d be a really strong competitor.

This was one of the hardest categories for sure. Already I feel weird voting against Kevin Penkin, but I guess his work on Tower of God, for as genuinely great as it was, just didn’t really stick with me like some of his other works. Eizouken should be a shoe-in but honestly it suffered from repeating some songs too much, which isn’t a huge flaw but it is a flaw nonetheless. Now, actual show quality aside, Kensuke Ushio’s work on Japan Sinks 2020 is fucking brilliant. It’s so evocative and emotional and really highlights the dramatic moments the show actually has. I especially love the piano track that plays in episode 1 over the massive POV shot of Japan getting fucking destroyed. Something about emphasising the serene beauty of this chaos and destruction makes it hit harder than if the music was more chaotic. Like we’re in hell, but the track is so calm. It’s really powerful, it’s like you’re watching a car crash - obviously horrible but you can’t look away. That’s the feeling the soundtrack gives. I really respected it. If insert songs are included in OST then my pick is obviously Nijigasaki because fucking duh but otherwise tbh I’m fine letting Japan Sinks take this.

So because of my own roles plus what I didn’t watch or dropped, literally my only options are Kaguya-sama and Kanokari. I didn’t like Kanokari and the total lack of relationship development afte episode 5 in favour of introducing different flavour harem girls that Kazuya JuSt MiGhT fAlL fOr was really annoying since you know they’ll lose. Whereas Kaguya and Shirogane are like, you know they’re fine, I like them, more so as individuals than as a couple but they’re endearing. I can take it. I have 2 alternate suggestions I’d rather vote for though. Yume and Asahi in Mewkledreamy because they’re very cute and have great chemistry. And Adachi and Shimamura who are some very glaring exclusions, holy shit. Love those two and they not only deserve to be nominated but to win.

Hi, uh, fucking hello? Deca-Dence is sci-fi you dumb fucks! What’s that doing here? Also Re:Zero si technically fantasy but actual fantasy elements make up so little of what the series is that I can’t take it seriously as a pick. Where’s Princess Connect? That actually does belong in here! Or how about Somali, also a pure fantasy through and through that would be a very easy pick! Maoujou de Oyasumi as well? God why fucking fantasy of all other genres, all that really tells you about a work is some iconography you might associate with it but nothing else, not the type of characters or storytelling or tone you can expect, even just seeing Dorohedoro and Dragon Quest in the same caterogry should tell you that much even if both are fantasy! Fucking, horrible job Crunchyroll! Anyway Dorohedoro is solid dark fantasy and a great show too so it can win, alternate winners for me are those other shows I recommended, not sure how to narrow it down to just one.

[therealeagal]

The Suicide Squad

WELL. Never let it be said that I can’t admit when I’m wrong. I said it looked bad in a bad way and I was wrong. It was bad in a fun way.

The costumes are stupid, but they’re stupid on purpose. They’re probably better in comic form. Or maybe we’re just conditioned to accept silly costumes in comic books.

I quite enjoyed Guardians of the Galaxy 3. I mean James Gunn’s The Suicide Squad.

What makes a movie good? Who can say? I don’t judge movies based on things like story structure or cohesion or whatever folderol people always trot out to justify hating on a movie. I judge it on whether I personally enjoyed it.

I enjoyed the first Suicide Squad movie because I went in expecting mindless action. There was action. It was mindless. That’s 2/2. Thus, good movie.

I enjoyed James Gunn’s The Suicide Squad. I didn’t go in expecting Citizen Kane, because who the hell goes to see a movie called Suicide Squad expecting Citizen Kane? Shut the fuck up.

I went in expecting mindless action. There was action. It was mindless. That’s 2/2. Thus, good movie.

SO. The Suicide Squad.

Well, the Suicide Squad in the realm of DC comics is a government black ops team comprised of a rotating cast low-level supervillains that no one will miss. They get in, they do the job or they screw up and get disavowed.

There’s also occasionally a few big names that the writers try to pretend might be in danger, but they never actually are because they’re way too popular. Harley Quinn, for instance. No way will she ever ever ever ever ever EVER bite the big one.

I admit that I didn’t expect Captain Boomerang to die. He’s not as big a name as Harley, but he’s a regular Flash villain. That’s the kind of street cred that at least earns you a “only mostly dead”.

There was never a chance that Bloodsport would die. Even though he’s an obscure character, you don’t hire Idris Elba as a main character just to kill him off.

I expected King Shark to die, but in hindsight there was never a chance the super marketable Groot knockoff would go down.

Polka-Dot Man? 100%. Called it half a year ago.

The Thinker, as portrayed by Peter Capaldi. Pretty stupid for a guy whose superpower is being smart. Sorry, Peter, but Neil Sandilands did it better.

Stray observations:

Thinker and King Shark. What does it say when the CW can do your characters better than a multi-million dollar summer tentpole? 

----

Is there literally any reason for King Shark to be in this movie other than to be a marketable Groot knockoff? He literally never contributes anything that couldn’t have been done by other characters, despite Waller insisting that he was crucial to the mission.

----

Weasel survived the end of the movie and wandered off. Comic relief character survives to the end of the movie, yay? So are we just supposed to forget that he’s a serial child murderer on an island whose infrastructure and government just ceased to exist or what?

----

Why the hell is he called Bloodsport? Peacemaker. Ratcatcher. King Shark. Harley Quinn. These are names that make sense. Why does a professional assassin call himself Bloodsport? That’s not the kind of name that says “I’m professional, efficient and discreet”.

[wizardysseus]

i was thinking about once upon a time (abc) in bed this morning so i decided to write this list

subject to change, since awhile ago i was in the middle of season 6 when they took it off netflix and i never quite got around to picking it back up. i’m gonna finish if it kills me i promise

top 5 things about once upon a time

5. anna frozen

when ouat introduced frozen characters, most fans decided the show had jumped the shark. they were not wrong. however, it was this very thing that allowed the show to be fun again! after an excruciatingly bad season 3 (we will get to that), bringing on anna and elsa literally transported directly from their own unaltered story in cheap ass versions of their unaltered movie costumes allowed the show to let loose and do... basically whatever it wanted. this became the hallmark of the show for those who stuck with it: absolutely not making sense at all, but being fun about it. post-season-three ouat becomes a totally different soap opera from season one, but by god you are never bored.*

personally, the flashback episode where anna annoys rumpelstiltskin and gets the better of him and he’s so fucking mad about it is like top 10 episodes**

4. 2x16 “the miller’s daughter”

this episode is just another personal favorite. it exemplifies what this show was really good at when it was good, and also where everything went wrong. i think cora is a great example of a good ouat villain, i think the twist on the rumpelstiltskin story is great, i think the dramatic beats really work.

...and in typical ouat fashion, cora immediately dies and two more villains we don’t care about at all are introduced. (sonequa forgive me you know i’m in love with you but tamara was nothing. it’s not your fault.) yes we get that great scene of snow aggressively doing archery practice while listening to “bad reputation” but was it worth killing off a compelling villain just as you’d dug into her story?

3. the commitment to regina’s redemption

and lana parrilla in general. i mean i’m gay and she’s hot but the worse the show got, the more acting lana gave it. and this is just speculation, but i think lana is more comfortable with drama than with camp? because regina becomes a much more interesting character as someone conflicted and on the path to redemption than as a villain. and by god, they were gonna redeem regina.

if only she had been gay we really could have had it all.

2. rumpelstiltskin

the sweet spot with rumpelstiltskin for me was seasons one and two when he was unabashedly bastard, there was an attempt to make him sympathetic but nobody except belle actually liked him, you weren’t quite sure how much he knew, he was pulling all the strings, and he was just really fucking weird. it will surprise no one who follows this blog to hear that that is my type of wizard.

1. season one

it’s a good season. it’s a good season. there are some bad things about it, but it was extremely watchable. it was doing fairy tales with occasional disney nods in a (mostly) cohesive fashion. the lore and the magic hadn’t sprawled out of control yet. it had the strongest relationship, imo, between emma and henry, and emma and snow. as for iconic episodes, most of the greats are here, plus sebastian stan as the mad hatter and giancarlo esposito as a series regular. the crowning moment for me is the scene at the end of skin deep, when regina confronts gold in the town jail and he reveals that he remembers his real name (after beating the shit out of belle’s dad with his cane obviously). god. that is some good television.

worst 5 things about once upon a time

5. the adoption politics but everyone knows this one.

4. WASTING the talent

you had the love of my life sonequa martin-green and gave her nothing. you somehow scored oded fehr as jafar and gave him nothing. you had giancarlo esposito and regina literally forgot he existed. i will kill you

3. rumpelstiltskin.

it’s no secret that robert carlyle was acting circles around most of the cast; my opinion is that the showrunners felt that if they committed to either his redemption or his villainy, they would never find someone else with the talent to fill his shoes as bastard wizard. so they flip-flopped on him every half-season, which ruins his story longterm, slowly kills the light in robert’s eyes, and gets reallllllly old. it’s also no secret that my favorite rumpelstiltskin is bastard wizard, but they screwed over belle BIG time in the process and for that i will never forgive them.

also like. the rumpelstiltskin fairy tale is antisemitic to begin with and they did not minimize that by comparing him to a lizard and naming his storybrooke counterpart mr gold. they just. did that.

2. THE FUCKING NEVERLAND ARC GOD IN CHRIIIIIIIIIIIST THAT HALF-SEASON IS EXCRUCIATING

1. captain hook

*it’s my opinion that if you are bored, you’re watching a hook-centric episode. every time i dropped the show and forgot about it for months at a time, it was because i had been in the middle of an episode about hook and just could not get through it. how do i describe all the things i don’t like about what killian hook jones did to the show? with subpoints!

1a. the episode where gold gives him back his hand and he never changes.

**this is actually the same episode i mentioned about anna and, like i said, it’s one of my favorites and not at all boring. look, i’m not pretending this list isn’t subjective as hell.

remember when hook blackmailed mr gold into magically reattaching his hand, which gold has been keeping in a jar, because hook has a date with emma and wants it to go well? but also, gold tells him that if he reattaches his hand with dark magic, it will turn him evil? and then hook spends the episode doing evil things, only for mr gold to tell him “i was just messing with you! the hand was not evil, you gave yourself permission to be evil ;)”

yeah, that’s basically hook’s mo.

1b. episode where emma tells him his brother is lying to him and he learns the exact wrong lesson from this and never changes.

so emma goes to the underworld to get hook back after he dies (while being evil and doing villainous things). they find his brother down there, too, and emma senses that he has a dark secret (because he does) and is lying to them (because he is). but hook always idolized his older brother, so he won't believe her. when emma confronts the brother directly, hook interrupts to rant to her about how he knows what this is ~really all about.

actual dialogue:

HOOK: i don't need proof to know what's really going on here. emma, when are you gonna admit that this isn't really about my brother? EMMA: what else would you think it was about? HOOK: us. you think if you can prove that liam is a villain, then i’ll somehow feel like i was less of one.

who... would EVER come to that conclusion. and why is the lesson he learns at the end “perhaps i do deserve saving after all” (another direct quote), and not “NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU, BECAUSE EMMA WAS LITERALLY RIGHT ABOUT YOUR BROTHER LYING TO EVERYONE”????

1c. the emma dark one arc, where hook never changes.

this would be the arc that leads up to the above underworld arc, and it is deeply dumb, entertaining, and hard to explain. suffice it to say, during this whole arc, killian (along with emma) has all the powers and ~~~Darkness~~~ of the dark one (formerly rumpelstiltskin). unlike emma, he is not aware of this for most of the season. the moment he finally finds out, he turns on emma and goes through with all the revenge plans he’s apparently been holding onto since season two.

it’s supposed to be sympathetic, because emma made this choice for him to be a dark one, which is clearly awful, when he didn’t want it. so i get that. but on the other hand, it is..... boring. because (a) it's nothing we haven't seen him try to do and fail at before, his motivations really aren't that complex. and more importantly, (b) he was the dark one the whole time! the only thing that changed, that made him act evil, was finding out about it. at that point, it's not the ~~~Darkness~~~ making you do evil things. it’s just you. because you’re a dick.

how is this arc resolved? well, he dies. after the underworld arc (which i very much enjoyed tbf), a sizable part of robin hood’s death episode is devoted to people telling emma to slow down and grieve for killian, since at least two arcs have revolved around her inability to let hook go when he is literally dying or dead. (it’s been said a million times but being his girlfriend really sucked the personality out of emma and i miss her.) and in the end he just... comes back anyway. no explanation given; he says it must be a reward from zeus for killing hades... while he and emma make out literally in front of the coffin of robin hood... who actually died fighting hades. killian died half a season before. while he was evil. and emma reverts to tearful girlfriend.

it’s insulting. it’s grating. and it is a Killian Hook Jones Guarantee that his episodes will involve some measure of this.

like, is it more or less the same shtick that the writers kept giving rumpelstiltskin, too? backsliding and screwing over his love interest who gets less and less say in the matter? yes. definitely. the crucial difference is that i, personally, love rumpelstiltskin, while i find hook boring and not self-aware. but clearly i have had a lot of fun complaining about him! again, this is not an objective list.

conclusions

this show ran for 7 years. it got cancelled not because it deserved to, but because no one liked the soft reboot. it was on until 2018.

[casualotptrash]

Fixes to the Persona Series

Oh boy I hope you all are ready to talk about this for the hundredth time!

My recent tirade about the FES vs Portable discussion started to make me think about what I think could be done in the next coming installments of the series to make it either feel a bit more fresh or just as an overall improvement. Now, I know many of the things I’m about to say have been said time and time again, but...this is my post so I’m going to give my opinion on this :)

Enjoy and feel free to vent with me about your biggest gripes with the series, because I’m always ready for a salt-fest.

(This post will pretty much have any spoilers about Persona 3, 4, and 5 (including Royal) so beware if you haven’t finished those)

To clarify right off the bat, anything I don’t mention in here as something I would fix I either don’t think it is a problem or I just happened to forget it.

1. Player Gender Options

(Royal Spoilers)

Starting off with a great one, I think that an improvement to the series would be to allow an option between a male and a female MC. I don’t think this choice would affect the story in Persona 3 or 4 very much (and we’ve seen that with Persona 3), but I have imagined and seen so many fanfics about how it would actually be a really interesting twist for Persona 5. For most of the story it probably wouldn’t matter too much, but it could impact the first palace so much. The first palace/story arc is already one of the best arcs in the game, so imagine if the player could relate to Ann and Shiho on an even deeper level? To be clear, I’m not saying the player has to be sexually assaulted or something, but I imagine Kamoshida would at least treat the player more like Ann rather than just a delinquent nuisance.

Also, and this just came to mind, but picture this: in the third semester Maruki actualizes things that he thinks will make others happy. Obviously, Joker and Akechi are against this. In the game itself there are a lot of clues to point that Joker does care about Akechi, and does want to see him again, but in the end they both agree that they need to fight for the real world that they worked for, not for a fake reality. If Joker was a female, they could still go the route of doing this (especially if romancing Akechi was an option? Or they just hint at them having feelings but Akechi doesn’t want to commit because he’s a self-loathing boi who needs to work on himself first).

Alternatively...what about a badass narrative of a girl, in a powerful position as the leader of the Phantom Thieves, fighting against a man who believes he knows what’s best for her and tries to appease her by just bringing back Akechi? Kinda like a “Yeah fuck what you did, you just need Akechi/a man and he’ll make you happy” type of thing. Obviously this would all be subtle, because I do think Maruki has good intentions, but he also blames himself for all of the hard things Rumi has gone through and may internalize that as women needing a “strong man” to protect them. Of course this might seem too preachy for people, but I thought it was an interesting idea to run with and that some people could relate to the whole “Woman trying to think and do things for themselves? Nah just sit in your little fake world and be happy, thanks.”

(Sidenote, Sae would be such a good role model...after her change of heart of course. You crush it girl.)

However, I do understand that this could be a lot of extra work, especially when the game is so long and tedious. That’s why I would also be fine with the strategy of “switching off” per say. By that I mean if Persona 5 has a male MC, then Persona 6 would have a female MC, and if a 7th game was made (in 2040 or whatever) then it could go back to a male. This would eliminate the issue of having to record all the voice lines twice or any other extra work that would come with having to make both genders an option. Honestly I know this option doesn’t matter too much to people, they just want an MC who is either a self-insert or actually a character (more on that later), but I do think it would be a very nice inclusion especially for the female fans of the game. It kind of sucks that three of the most popular games in the series all have male protags, and the female protag who was introduced often gets shafted for very dumb reasons. (Oh no, you have the option to romance a kid that most people don’t even choose or like, that means she’s a p*do! :I I know this comment is normally a joke but seriously it’s not funny).

2. Setting of the game (not transfer but also maybe involve the other games?)

(Spoilers for the Arena games and Persona 5/Royal)

So there are two main points to this suggestion: where the game takes place and how it relates to the other games.

As we all know, the three latest entries in the mainline Persona series have all followed a certain trend. They are all high schoolers, who transfer to a town, and know basically no one there. This formula has been repeated for the last three games, and while they are still great games, I think this trend needs to change. Any amount of switching this up would be better than nothing in my opinion. For example, the MC could be a new college student who goes to a new place for college (if they wanted the MC to move somewhere), and there meets the party members who are a mix of people who also don’t know the area (new to the college) and those who do know the area/some people there. This would appease people who have been really wanting an MC to not be a high schooler, while also giving the feel of meeting new people and seeing a new place.

On the other hand, the next game could take place in the MC’s home town, where plot stuff happens and they connect more to the people they already knew (aka party members) to solve the plot stuff. They could be in high school or college, either I think would work, but it would appease people who don’t just want to be a transfer student each time and also have some connection to the characters prior to the game. However, this would be difficult to do given the current “flow” that the games have, that is that the MC doesn’t know anything and has to ask a million questions. It would be very strange to go up to someone you have known most of your life and ask them a basic question, which is why that style of storytelling(?) would not fit well with this and other methods would need to be used.

Now, for the second point, I understand that they don’t make strong connections to the other games because they want each game to be able to be played as a stand-alone, and not to hold people back by forcing them to play the other games to understand this. Makes sense, but usually what happens is that people play one game in the series and then try another game, if they really like the one they started with. After playing through the ones they want to, and if they like them, then there is an appreciation for the series as a whole. Of course Atlus sneaks in little references here and there, like having the P4 gang go to Iwatodai or some TV news announcements on P5 that allude to Adachi and other characters, but those cant always cut it. One of the biggest letdowns I would come to know is the fact that the Shadow Operatives are not mentioned at all, outside of those small references, in P5.

Persona 5 literally has the PT’s broadcasting all of their heists, and includes major government officials like Shido. There are also the mental shutdowns/psychotic breakdowns, which also have people confused, along with how the PT’s steal hearts in the first place. I don’t know about you all, but this seems like the perfect opportunity to get the Shadow Operatives involved. This is like...literally what they were made for? Investigating persona/shadow activity and such, and we already know that the PT’s deeds reached at least Hawaii so it would be strange for the SO’s to have not heard anything. There are headcanons that they were blocked by Shido or something, which is pretty interesting to think about/develop, but it was only thought up to make an excuse for why they aren’t there. Persona 5 introduced a lot of people to the story, so yeah some people would probably be very confused about who the SO’s are and stuff, but it could payoff in the long run for long-time fans and those who play the other games after.

Depending on the story of P6, I don’t think it would be a bad idea to start including casts from the other games into newer ones...especially when each game introduces 8-9 new characters per game, and those games usually get made into spin-offs that include the characters made in the previous games! Counting only the characters introduced in the previous games (3-5), Persona Q2 has 33 characters (11 P3, 10 P5, 10 P4, and 2 P3P, this includes the velvet room assistants for each respective game). That’s a ton! Sure, having new characters each time is part of the fun, but I believe there is definitely a way to split them up. I don’t think it would be too much of an issue to have a smaller party member group (you can only have 4 fight at a time anyway), that way there is still the enjoyment of seeing new characters, while also filling up some of those spots with preexisting ones.

3. Characterization

This kind of piggybacks off of the second point, but personally I think they need to stop with the self-insert protags. First, like I mentioned earlier, it kind of messes up the “flow” of the game since they have to pretend that the character doesn’t know anything because the player doesn’t know anything (yet). For example, how many times did the option to say “Probation?” or “Expelled?” or something like that come up as a dialogue choice in P5? Too often, in my opinion. I assume anyone over the age of 15 would probably know what those things mean, but in case anyone doesn’t they have to make it an option to say.

Adding onto this, it also seems like people start to like the characters a whole lot more when spinoffs or movies/animations come out that really expand on the character, because in those games/mediums the player is taken out of the self-insert role. I would say out of the three games, the Persona 3 protags have the most characterization in game through their dialogue. I haven’t watched the movies, but I heard it fleshes the MC out a lot more. In Persona 4...well, I see what they’re going for but I also feel like Yu has the personality of a cardboard box. The animations definitely helped out this one, as did Arena, and I’ve seen other people agree that they liked Yu a lot more after playing/watching those things.

As for Persona 5, I think they tried to give Joker some characterization (and oddly enough “Joker” has a lot more to him than Akira/Ren, but he still fell more on the side of self-insert. P5 the animation is...of questionable quality, but I think Xander did a good job in the Dub (which is the one I watched) in trying to make him feel more like a human being. I haven’t played Strikers, but I assume it goes more on the route of P5 because you’re still controlling Joker. Oddly enough, I feel like the dancing game gave him the most characterization? Call me crazy, but his dance moves and voice lines just ooze of his suave, friendly, and supportive attitude. I wish that they took whatever those voice lines embodied and just put them into the game, because I would like Joker a lot more than I already do (which, to be clear, I do still like him a lot).

Although this doesn’t have much to do with the characterization, it would also be nice if Atlus could just put the “canon name” in the game while also still having the option to choose your own name. Again, this might add a little more work but maybe if someone chose the “canon” option then their name could be spoken in voice lines, but if they don’t then the names would be left out (except for text) like usual. Honestly this is mostly up to personal preference because I like some of the “not canon” names more so I would want to use those if I could, but I also don’t like having the characters just randomly cut off in the end of sentences when they’re saying your name. Just kind of breaks immersion, which is probably why I really like Joker because at least they say “Joker” quite a bit.

(Little rant, but why do the PT’s get like two group names? At first Morgana defaults to “The Phantom Thieves of Hearts” but then when you get to choose the name of your team, that name is what shows up instead. However, everyone still calls you the “Phantom Thieves” and the gang refers to themselves as that too! I get naming the group is kind of cool, but I would have preferred if they were just called The Phantom Thieves (of Hearts) and that way their name could be spoken in dialogue too.)

4. Choices matter...please? (romance and regular dialogue)

This might be easy or difficult to implement, I’m not so sure because I’m not a game developer, but I really wish choices mattered more in this game. I feel like most of these suggestions (especially later on down the list) are just little things that could be added to the game that would really amp it up, and this is one of them.

When I talk about choices mattering, I do not mean that dialogue should be so open that there are branching paths and that your choices affect the story. What I mean is that you could choose two different options and not get the same exact answer. I get that this isn’t always the case, but when it is it feels very strange. In this same vein of things, please stop with the illusion of choice because everyone sees right through it. I didn’t really see this as much in P3, and I still need to finish P4, but it was definitely apparent with P5. I felt that so many times in the game there were two options that were just “Option A” or “Synonym for Option A” as the choices.

Along the same lines, I think it would be great if romance choices were actually acknowledged. Again, there is a little of this in P3 and P4 where some party members comment on your relation to the other party members (Ex. Junpei saying to take care of Fuuka if you date, Yukari stating that Akihiko probably wouldn’t want FeMC going on a group date if they’re dating, and Yosuke coming to assumptions about who Yu spends the summer festival with), but they are very few and far between. I also saw no evidence of this at all in P5, which was pretty disappointing. In fact, in Persona 5 Royal if you are dating Ann and go on the Christmas Date with her, she makes some comment about not wanting the others to find out about them. Like...girl, considering someone can finish Ann’s social link as early as June or so on NG+ I’m pretty sure your friend group would notice if you’ve been dating for 6 months?? I know that romance is definitely not the focus of the game, but if you’re going to include it why is it shoved into the farthest corner and never touched?

Don’t get me wrong, it is cute to see the romances in the game play out and such, but on the same hand I can see how much better it could be. In reality it kind of sucks to romance someone in the Persona games because no one acknowledges it, and you only get like 3-4 small scenes in each game to spend with them (beach in P5, festival in all, Christmas in all, valentines except for 3, White Day in P5R). Just imagine if you could take a walk in Kyoto with whoever you romanced, or were able to take your partner to the Jazz Jin in P5R and they would get like special date dialogue or something? Very very small additions, but it would go a long way in making the romances feel a bit more connected.

5. LGBT Romances

I went into this in some detail in Part 3 of my FES vs Portable debate post, so I to save your eyes from reading more I’ll just quickly say that Atlus definitely needs to add in more LGBT romance options because it’s ridiculous at this point. The fact that you can’t romance any guy (because all of the MC’s are male, this is not including the FeMC stuff because that’s not typical in the Persona series) but can have a whole harem (despite what they may do to you) is just ridiculous. They’d rather let you date a fully-fledged adult than someone of the same gender.

Also they’re cowards for scrapping the Yosuke romance and that’s that :)

6. Fixing Social Links

Link to the stand-alone post about this section.

I literally was going to include this in this post, but this section alone (which I knew was going to be the biggest) was almost as large (a few hundred words off) than everything prior to this point put together. I’ll make a separate post with just this section soon, but this criticism of mine can basically be boiled down into the fact that the main growth of a character should happen outside of their social link in order to avoid tonal whiplash in the story, and that this will fix the problem of some characters feeling “one-note” if you do not do their social links/confidants. Essentially, go back to the P3 method.

However, something that needs to be fixed for all of the games is that you shouldn’t only get social link points for saying what the person wants to hear. I get the train of thought that if you say what they want to hear they will like you more, but that’s not how real friendships work? Obviously you shouldn’t be saying something that offends them and think it will raise your points, but sometimes people just need to hear things?

I can think of three standout examples: Nozomi in P3 (Gourmet King), Mishima in P5, and Shinya in P5. Nozomi’s link is a hot mess in of itself, but it was very frustrating to at one point just be like “Hey can you chill?” when he’s trying to induct you into a scam/cult or whatever, and it reverses the social link. Like ok buddy fuck you too, I was just trying to say no and that you need to stop scamming people?? For Mishima in P5 (I’ll go more in depth on him in a later post), it’s just kind of strange that you can clearly see him starting to obsess about the PT’s but you can’t really tell him he needs to stop until the social link demands it. Even then, the only way to get points is pretty much to go “Wow Mishima, you’re the best! You’re the reason we exist! We love you!!!” and it just feels kind of wrong. Shinya’s is very much along the same line as that, except you basically have to do something even worse and encourage him to keep being a bully? Thankfully P5 doesn’t reverse confidants, but I probably would have done so with Shinya because I kept telling him he shouldn’t bully others until I realized how to get points with him. It just feels wrong to encourage such behavior until the character suddenly realizes they’ve been acting wrong. No shit, I’ve been trying to say that.

I think social links need quite the fix to them, but this is definitely one of them. Strong, real relationships are not just built upon telling the other person what they want to hear.

7. Have Characters Hang Out

This is mostly a suggestion based off of P5′s downfall in this aspect. I think that P3 and P4 did a good job at showing the characters hang out in other aspects, or hang out separately outside of the MC. P4 had a lot of good group hangouts, but not many scenes without the MC. P3 had the opposite where members kind of hung out together a bit, but also showed or mentioned them hanging out without the MC. However, P5 didn’t have much for the group hangouts and also I can’t really recall a single scene of the party members hanging out outside of the MC.

Along with all of the problems I mentioned earlier with the cardboard cut-out personalities, I feel that this contributed to P5′s group feeling a bit less cohesive. Obviously when they all hung out they acted like a real group of friends, but it’s hard to see it as legitimate when 95% of their hangouts are just meetings for the Phantom Thief stuff. The only times they hang out outside of the PT stuff is the TV station, the fireworks festival, helping Futaba + the beach trip, and the culture festival. Like I said, I can’t recall them hanging out together outside of being with the MC/PT business, although I could have missed some stray text message if one was mentioned.

In this aspect, P5 feels like a small step down from P3 and a huge step down from P4. I think some of the events in P4 are a bit unnecessarily long, but at least they go through the effort of showing that the group is also a real friend group, not just people trying to solve the murder. Strikers may be a step up from P5, but I haven’t played it yet so I can’t judge that.

Also bring back school trips to prior locations of Persona games. Imagine P5 group going to Inaba and it turns out this is the small country town that Joker came from? And they sprinkle in references to P4? *chefs kiss*.

8. Remove/Change Certain Tropes

(Spoilers for the babe hunts, stupid ass hot springs scenes, and Ryuji abuse after certain palace)

By that spoiler tag, you can probably tell that this is the category I’m most passionate about. I can deal with social links feeling a bit disconnected. I can deal with the MC being a self-insert. What I cant deal with anymore? These. Dumb. Ass. Scenes.

Let me explain (insert Sojiro voice here)

Every game has three main tropes. One, the babe hunt scenes. Two, the hot springs scenes. Three, one character being dunked on by everyone else. I’ll go through each, scream about my feelings about them, and why they need to change.

First, the babe hunt scenes. I don’t have much of a problem with this trope to be honest, I just think it could be done better in some games. I actually think the one in P3 was quite funny, because the group treated it like an “operation” which added a bit to humor. Truth be told, I was just a bit disappointed in P3P FeMC route when you didn’t have your own version of the “babe hunt” thing. I know Yukari and Mitsuru aren’t the types to go hunt for boys, but perhaps the MC could have suggested it as a fun idea. In P4, this scene happens in Okina and largely remains the same as the P3 formula, but I think it lacks just a bit of the humor that the P3 one had. Lastly, in P5 this scene happens during the beach trip but compared to the others it’s pretty...lackluster?

It shows a montage of Joker, Ryuji, and Yusuke talking to girls but no actual dialogue goes on. After talking to three or so, Yusuke disappears and this is when Joker and Ryuji meet the two “flamboyant” men again. This time, the men either chase them down or call after them (?) depending on if you’re playing Vanilla or Royal. I don’t like how they use these men in the first place, but on top of that it kind of takes the “babe hunt” out of “babe hunt” if you don’t actually...hunt for babes? Like no actual dialogue is spoken when trying to convince the girls, which was most of the fun in the other scenes. You don’t even have free reign to walk around at the beach, and the scene is formatted in a more cutscene type of way.  It just makes P5′s babe hunt fall flat in many ways, and overall I finished the scene with a strong “meh.” The only good things about this was watching Makoto and Ann defend themselves and Yusuke with the lobsters.

Now for the hot springs scenes....hoo boy.

Simply put, in my opinion, these scenes suck ass in almost all of the games. P3 is the least egregious in my opinion, for a couple reasons. First is that it shows that Junpei and Ryoji were kind of trying to peep on the girls, and Akihiko and MC were just dragged into it. They have some funny dialogue, and in FES and Portable they even included the option to try and evade the girls. I found the little evade minigame to be really fun, even though every time I can’t help but fail because I want to say “It was a cat!” I find it interesting that there is the option for the men to get off scott-free, and that their dialogue after the trip is over changes slightly because of this.

On the FeMC side, I also find it fun that you have the reverse of the minigame and actually seek out the boys. My only letdown with this entire scene is if the boys are caught. I get it, it’s supposed to be funny with Mitsuru executing them and such, but as a reasonable person with a brain it seems really dumb to me that Mitsuru would just punish all of them when it’s just Ryoji and Junpei’s fault? This is nothing against Mitsuru, but her actions just seem so...exaggerated for some reason? Like Mitsuru is usually smart, and even if she is embarrassed I don’t get why she would punish innocent party members. A huge disappointment for me was that the FeMC isn’t able to stop Mitsuru from doing this either. Not even a choice to try and encourage Mitsuru or discourage her (so both options would be available). You just kinda sit there and watch, even after Akihiko say “It was a misunderstanding!” or something. For me it was especially strange because MC was dating Akihiko at that point, so why wouldn’t I try to hear him out? Just struck me as kind of dumb.

If I thought that was dumb, P4 and P5 were out to really make me roll my eyes and sigh in disappointment. Unlike P3, which has most of the scene being pretty good besides the very end where Mitsuru punishes the boys, the P4 and P5 scenes are all bad. This is not the first time anyone has said it, and won’t be the last, but they aren’t funny scenes in the slightest.

In P4, it’s actually the girl’s fault that they’re in the hot springs when the boys walk in. They stayed over their allotted time and into the time when boys are supposed to be in there. So what do they do? Get flustered, yell at them, and throw buckets at the group. Oh, and they don’t listen to the boy’s protests at all. Really.

Who thought this was a good idea?? The girls even realize after that they were in the wrong, say they should apologize, but I don’t think they ever show a scene of them apologizing after. This whole scene, like the hot springs ones in general, are just exaggerated (ie. throwing masses of buckets) to be funny, but they really fail in my opinion. It just serves to make the player kinda angry (since they’re usually on the receiving end) and make the girls look wildly unrealistic and dumb. I have never really thought that needless physical abuse is funny, so these scenes are just the bane of my existence apparently.

There actually isn’t a hot springs scene in P5, but they did add one in Strikers.

If they wanted to still do these scenes, maybe they could switch from making it “just beat up the boys” into something else. For example, the girls could try to peep, or walk in on the boys. Equality y’all, sometimes girls can do those things too (but still don’t beat them up. Just don’t beat anyone up). If none of that happens, or maybe that’s how the scene ends, the rest of the scene could just be a chill, relaxing scene between those involved. Essentially, how the scenes go before the whole “lets beat up the boys” thing comes in.

Lastly, on basically the same vein as why I don’t like the hot springs scenes, I’m starting to get real sick of the “let’s shit on this one character” trope. In Persona 3, I don’t think it’s that bad because they kind of do it with Junpei but they also give him a lot of character development, and eventually the sort of hostile shitting on him turns into just gentle teasing.

For P4 I still don’t think it is too bad, because Yosuke is kind of the one being shit on but he also does the same to the other people in the group? I suppose the only thing that really sticks out to me is how Teddie abuses Yosuke’s wallet (making him buy/pay for a lot of stuff with his hard earned cash), but I also don’t like Teddie at all in the first place so I may be biased about him. Oh well, he still shouldn’t do those things and I don’t really find it funny but to each their own.

However...this problem walks and rocks the fucking runway in Persona 5. Namely, this happens with Ryuji. The most obvious aggressor in this is Morgana, because him and Ryuji butt heads so often, but the other thieves kind of do it as well. Obviously they don’t do this all the time, but it’s extremely frustrating when they do. Morgana getting into arguments with Ryuji at the drop of a hat get old very quick, and the other thieves poking a bit of fun about how dumb Ryuji can be is also not that riveting. Despite all of that, the scene that highlights all of this is the scene after Shido’s palace collapse.

You all knew this was coming, but I couldn’t resist talking about it. The scene is so tone deaf in so many ways that it takes away all of the emotional impact that they were trying to build. Even the first time I watched this scene, in which I didn’t think they would kill off Ryuji, I could still sympathize with the group being concerned about him. Then when he shows up they...just beat him up and leave him unconscious next to a pole while they walk away? Wow.

On all subsequent playthroughs I just skip this scene, but I truly cannot understand why that was the angle they went for. Were they trying to insert some humor right after an emotional scene? That can be done in certain cases, but....why??? It’s so unbelievable it’s almost laughable. It’s not even like the bath scene where the the girls think the guys are trying to peep on them. It’s simply because he survived which I assume is what they wanted!

“Oh no you made us thought you were dead (even though he didn’t because he couldn’t control any of this), we’re going to beat you up!” Now you just make the characters look like irrational idiots.

Seriously Atlus, stop doing this. In most cases it just serves to make the player kind of frustrated, and in this case it it literally takes all of the emotional weight out of the scene and makes me think worse of the entire female cast. Please. Stop.

Well that’s the end of that. I don’t think I said anything too revolutionary, although my opinions about the social links and characterization might get me some flak. I just want the characters to be more than one personality trait... This was a really long post again, so kudos to whoever made it to this point!

Next time, on Dragon Ball Z Casual’s pointless posts: something Persona related :)

[homeformyheart]

worth it - mason x f!detective (twc)

author’s note: i was inspired by the book 2 moments as well as the book 3 demo (no spoilers though) and of course, my love of pride & prejudice – for context, this detective has not done anything physical with M. i hope you enjoy!

copyright: all characters, except the oc detective, are owned by mishka jenkins @seraphinitegames. series/pairing: the wayhaven chronicles – mason x nb!detective (brooklyn kingston) rating/warnings: 13+; swearing word count: 1.9k summary: mason finally figures things out after a particularly insightful movie night at the warehouse.

worth it

mason twirled an unlit cigarette between his fingers, his other hand shoved deep in his pocket, fingers wrapped around his lighter. he didn’t even have the urge to smoke anymore, which was odd, because he still felt everything around him a little too much. he didn’t understand why it was so easy to quit but chalked it up to wanting to treat the detective with respect as a member of the team.

it didn’t occur to him until after brooks had walked out of the bakery that there might be more to it. that maybe it wasn’t just about respect or trying to get into her pants. he wasn’t sure what else there could be – it’s not like they had done anything physically that would be enough to replace his coping mechanism.

now when he felt the urge to smoke, he saw her face instead. heard her voice telling him that the smoke would eventually kill her. pictured that gentle, hopeful look on her face accentuated by a soft smile. saw her sitting behind her desk, head tilted and resting on her hand while pointing to the “no smoking” sign in her office with the other.

and it helped. the uncomfortable and often borderline painful sensations on his body and in his mind receded when he let himself think of her.

maybe when the world was too loud and too bright, she was what he needed.

he had to give her credit. brooklyn was a damn professional. in the weeks since that conversation in the bakery, there wasn’t a moment where she didn’t seem like her normal self around the team. she bantered with felix, discussed research and theories with nat, and planned out investigative tactics with ava. they continued to work on the kidnapping case as a team, with her taking the lead and only occasionally butting heads with ava. with him, she rolled her eyes at his remarks and remained indifferent when he sat near her at their bi-weekly meetings.

even though everything seemed normal on the outside, mason could sense something had changed for them both. brooklyn had withdrawn into herself, avoiding holding his gaze beyond a passing glance, and ignoring his suggestive remarks when they were alone. it created an unfamiliar ache in his chest, to the point where he wasn’t enjoying flirting with her as much. it was a odd sense of discomfort to feel, seeing as how he was no stranger to uncomfortable sensations.

at least ava and nat had the decency to play along as though nothing was amiss, even though every once in a while, nat would throw a worried glance their way. felix, however, had no such qualms about pointing out the obvious awkwardness between them.

“so… brooklyn, you haven’t hung out with us in a while outside of these meetings,” felix said with a grin that mason was starting to really hate. he let out a low growl, which felix pointedly ignored. “and i know mason would loooove your company. he just broods in the dark when you’re not here.”

brooklyn had to suppress the chuckle that wanted to emerge at the image of mason hiding in a corner of the room and arched one of her eyebrows at felix instead. “i don’t see how his brooding has anything to do with me.”

“because the man is clearly –”

“felix!” nat’s exasperated tone cut him off before he could finish his sentence, but the knowing look in his eyes and sympathetic smile made brooklyn’s heart thud a little louder than usual.

“um, i guess it has been a while since we’ve done something not work-related. why don’t we watch a movie or something?” she suggested, trying to divert everyone’s attention away from whatever it was that felix was about to say.

“yes! you pick the movie and i’ll get the popcorn and we’ll watch it right here!” felix’s eyes shined with excitement and brooklyn couldn’t help but chuckle.

and that’s how mason found himself watching pride and prejudice in the warehouse living room later that week.

brooklyn wiped a stray tear from her eye as mason leaned toward her. “seriously? this makes you cry?” he was genuinely sort of surprised. brooklyn could be just as, if not more, stoic than rebecca and he found her difficult to read sometimes, especially if she refused to make eye contact with him and if her body didn’t react to his advances.

“he’s got too much pride, she has too much prejudice. he says he’s not good with words, so he shows her how much he loves her by overcoming the issues his pride caused and when she finally sees all that he does and understands his true nature, of course she falls in love with him. it just works, okay!” brooklyn sniffled, putting a hand on her heart. “it’s one of my favorite movies.”

“mine too! i mean, it is now anyway,” felix said, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. “are you going to stay tonight, brooks?”

brooklyn covered her mouth to stifle her yawn. “i shouldn’t. i have to be up early tomorrow and i didn’t bring my car since it was so nice out.”

nat frowned. “it’s dark, one of us should—”

“i’ll walk you home,” mason interrupted, standing from where he had been sitting on the armrest of the couch during the entire movie.

brooklyn hesitated. it had been easy to forget what happened at the bakery and pretend as though nothing was wrong when she avoided being alone with mason. but she also didn’t want to draw attention to the fact that she was avoiding him, even though she knew the team had probably figured it out and were just being nice about it.

she looked up at the expectant looks from the others and realized she had fallen silent. “oh, um, alright, i’ll see you all tomorrow,” she said quickly, picking up her purse and following mason out.

“i really wish those two would work things out,” felix said softly once the door had closed.

“i’m sure they will. brooklyn’s just going to have to be a little patient with him while he figures things out,” nat said, picking up the first edition pride and prejudice book she decided to read while everyone else watched the movie.

the walk back to brooklyn’s apartment was quiet but to her surprise, not wholly unpleasant. for the first time in a while, her chest wasn’t constricting from actively trying to suppress her feelings and reactions around mason. for some reason, they were able to walk side-by-side, his warm presence washing over her and easing whatever tension she had been holding that day and letting her body relax.

by the time they made it back to her apartment, her arms swayed casually at her sides and she smiled contentedly to herself. she hoped they could end the night on a high note and moved to unlock her door.

“hey, brooklyn.”

she tensed before looking up at mason, one hand holding her keys near the doorknob. he was leaning against the wall, hands tucked deep into his pockets.

“yes?”

he looked at her with something brooklyn hadn’t ever seen before swirling in his grey eyes. his mouth opened and then closed as if he wasn’t sure what he wanted to say before frowning and looking away.

she tilted her head sideways. “isn’t this where you make some suggestive comment to try to get into my pants?”

mason’s head snapped back to look at her so fast she almost missed it. “think that's all i’m good for, huh, sweetheart? did it ever occur to you that i might not be in the mood?”

“okay…” she squinted at him in confusion. “wait, why are you upset?”

“i don’t know!” mason threw his hands up in the air before rubbing his face. “i don’t like this feeling right now.”

she raised an eyebrow at him. “what feeling, exactly?” she prodded gently.

his shoulders sagged and if brooklyn didn’t know better, she’d say he almost looked… dejected.

“like i’ve lost my chance with you before we’ve even seen how we could be together,” he said quietly, sending a sideways glance in her direction. “and for the record, i think we’d be fucking phenomenal.”

brooklyn’s heart was beating so fast she thought it would leap out of her chest. she swallowed thickly and willed her body to calm down so she could avoid being disappointed by mason yet again. “i’m not a game for someone to just have fun with for a time and throw away when they start getting bored. i want someone to think i’m worth waiting for,” she said, afraid to say it any louder than a whisper even though she knew mason would hear her anyway.

“oh sweetheart, i wouldn’t be here right now if i didn’t think you’d be worth it,” mason said, his eyes full of sincerity and a gentle smile that caught her off guard. she was so used to his flirty remarks being accompanied by a smirk that the absence of it was almost dizzying.

brooklyn frowned in confusion. her brain was used to making sense of things logically and she had barely had a full conversation with mason since that moment in the bakery when she felt something more between them, something deeper, swirling underneath the tension. it was dangerous to let herself hope, but maybe, just maybe, he felt it too.

“i know what you want and as soon as you get it, you’ll be done with me. well, i’m not interested in playing your game, mason, so feel free to find someone else,” she said, the quiver in her voice contradicting the gravity of her words as she opened the door to her apartment and stepped inside.

mason’s hand shot out to keep the door open and brooklyn looked up at him, eyes widening slightly in surprise.

“i could never be done with you,” he said softly. there was no hint of snark or teasing in his voice.

he stepped into the doorway, casting a shadow over her small frame even in the dark of the apartment.

“what do you want, mason?” she asked, something akin to hope starting to bloom in her chest.

mason gently stroked her cheek with his thumb, pausing briefly at the corner of her lips. “you,” he answered with such confidence and honesty that brooklyn knew she believed him wholeheartedly.

he slowly lowered his forehead to hers. “just you. we don’t have to do anything physical. i just can’t help but want to be near you all the time. that damn movie’s in my head now.”

she looked up at him shyly through her eyelashes and smiled, walked backwards into the apartment so he could close the door behind him. even in the dark, mason could see the vibrant blush on her cheeks that was slowly becoming his favorite feature of hers.

“that’s all i wanted to know. does this mean i should expect an impromptu confession in the rain?” she teased, moving to turn on the light and make herself comfortable on the couch.

to her surprise yet again, mason chuckled. “you should know me well enough by now, sweetheart, to know that i’m not really into that,” he said. his eyes softened as he took a seat next to her. “but for you, maybe i’ll make an exception.”

her face beamed in a way he didn’t know was possible and he knew he wanted to figure out what it would take for her to look at him like that always.

* * * * * permatag: @kelseaaa; @kat-tia801; @anotherbeingsworld; @crackerdumortain; @pearlsandsteel; @gloynporslen; @sosolenoo; @alyssalauren;  @wayhavenots; @gingerbreton; @takemyopenheart; @writer-ish; @fhauvilles;

[facelessxchurch]

So I found enough time and caffeine to read through the Grimoire PDF at last. I'm on page 300 and I'm so, so glad I didn't reward him with money for making this shambolic mess. The man makes me cringe like hell; his obnoxiousness bleeds through in so many insufferable ways. There are some kinds of toxic virginity that you can't lose no matter how much sex you have, neckbeard.

It's less 'toxic virginity' and more like 'toxic stupidity' like Peter Griffin or Patrick Star during the shitty post-movie seasons of SB. Nothing more annoying than a stupid man that is convinced of his own brilliance mixed with blatant disrespect for others, especially if these others are his customers. Releasing the Grimoire in the state it is in is an insult to the customer/fanbase and acknowledging it (even if it's done in an in-vers manner) doesn't make it any less infuriating.

Tho to be fair, one of the complaints I had was that the Grimoire had no index and they actually added that to the eBook version, judging by the updated Amazon preview. They also just have the last page be part of the preview now which kinda spoils the 'big twist'. But whatever, I guess.

Also, it has an additional alternative archivist seal now, which is just straight up Skul's head for whatever reason.

Just straight up not pretending anymore that the skull on the seal ain't Skulduggery's and that the whole world of SP doesn't revolve around Skulduggery anymore. That had to be one of the most infuriating things about that Grimoire: that even the goddamn WORLD book just has to revolve almost completely around Skulduggery (and Valkyrie). I admit, the world building is crap and not worth focusing on bc somehow the more Landy focuses on it the worse it gets. But why have such a massive cast of characters if you are always only going to focus on two of them?

For comparison, here is the other seal.

Amazing how they couldn't even be arsed to remove the butt of the cicada here. And on the eBook version they didn't remove the cicada from the seal on the cover at all, even though they did it for the physical copies.

I'm almost amazed at how every singe little bit about the Grimoire that could possible be half-assed is half-assed.

Good thing you provided page numbers, otherwise I wouldn't know what you were talking about. Been a hot minute since I've read the Grimoire lol. This part, right?

Isn't saying 'on the ground' not a pretty normal Englisch idiom? Like 'on the ground reporting' but also something like 'on the ground agent' in like crime TV shows?

Was it painful only bc of the last quarter was about phase 2 or also bc of the Gog Magog stuff?

Ngl, I was suffering through all of it, but especially the Skul's dad stuff was fucking painful to read through jfc- How nice that you could at least get something out of the phase 1 stuff. I admit, even I felt a bit more inspired/got some new ideas while reading the phase 1 stuff involving the nasty bois, but the phase 2 stuff (including Gog Magog) killed that real fast.

Plus, reading the summaries of the phase 1 books made me realize that I don't exactly enjoy the phase 1 books either, at least not plot-wise. And I grew out of the 'humor'. Straight up the only thing these books have going on for me is their aesthetic at this point since the nasty bois, aka the only parts I actually enjoy, don't feature enough to save the series.

[tomspancakes]

This Way: Part 4

*not my gif*

Pairing: Tom Holland x Actress! reader

Word Count: 3580

Warnings: still a crazy ass bih lol. I can’t stop with the drama sorryyy

Summary: Y/n starts noticing how weird Tom is being and decides to confront him.

A/N: I think I’m going to post two days in a row then have one day off, but like a sis is nearing the end of her school year so let’s hope I stick with it haha. Please lmk if you’re enjoying this/ have any constructive criticism. ALSO I need help like ded ass don’t know if I’m stupid or if it’s tumblr’s fault, but when I tag people some of the tags don’t work :/ BUT don’t hesitate to ask to be a part of the tag list :) 

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

+++

*week and a half before lock down*

You opened the door to the flat exhausted after a long day of filming and walked into the living room to see Tom busy on his laptop. He looked up, 

“Oh hi, y/n.” He shut his laptop and stood up, you gave him a strange look.

“Leaving already? Do I smell or something?” You joked and flopped on the couch. Tom has been acting really strange with you after the dinner with his family. Lately he’s been leaving you alone whenever one of the boys got up to leave as well. ‘Was he feeling awkward about being friends?’ you thought to yourself. 

“Oh no no you don’t smell. You always smell nice,” He blushed because he said too much, “Just need to work on this script, Harry’s been on my ass about it.” He said and began to walk away before you could reply.

“What? Not even gonna ask how my day was... you know like a friend?” You teased and Tom sighed and squeezed his eyes shut and turned around

“How was your day, y/n?”

“It was long, tiring, and someone was really rude to me on the set.” You sighed and waited for him to sit back down so he could listen, but he never did, “Ok then… how about your day, Tom?” This was starting to get awkward, 

“Didn’t really do anything, just ate and worked on the first act of the movie, which still isn’t done so if you’ll excuse me I’m going to my room now.” He said quickly, turning around again walking away.

“How rude. ‘Ya let’s be friends, y/n, it’ll be fun.’” You grumbled and mimicked him in an annoyed voice. Tom heard and felt really bad to pretend he didn’t.

-

You were now sitting on Harry’s bed watching him edit his short film and eating ice cream, he listened to how your day went,

“And oh my god one of the stunt fighter guys was being a straight up asshole,” You rolled your eyes eating another spoonful of ice cream,

“How so?” Harry asked

“Well I kept messing up this one stunt where I was in heels and we ended up filming it 7 times. I mean I felt bad for wasting time, but that was until the dickhead said, ‘I don’t even know why they casted you, it’s a simple stunt just get this shit down already so we can move on!’” You said in a deep voice mimicking the guy, “I was so embarrassed, but thankfully Ryan stood up for me. Still ruined my day though.”

“What the hell? What kinda asshole-,” He got up from his spot on the bed all riled up, “Who is this guy? I’m gonna end him. Does he even realize how damn hard it is to do a stunt in heels?” You laughed at Harry’s protectiveness, “Tom literally took half a day to film one stunt and he wasn’t in heels!” You shrugged.

“Sit your ass back down. Thanks for trying to protect me, but everything will be fine, I’m strong. It’s business gotta suck it up.” He rolled his eyes and jumped on you with a bear hug. You laughed and tried to push him off of you, but he was too heavy. 

“Harry, you bitch, I can’t breathe.”

“I just want to protect my best friend.” He said before letting you go and going back to editing.

“Speaking of Tom, have you noticed that he’s avoiding me?” You asked quickly.

“Huh? I haven’t noticed anything of the sort. I mean you guys are both really busy right now aren’t you?” You nodded and rested your head on Harry’s shoulder,

“I mean I guess, but haven’t you noticed like yesterday when you left the kitchen Tom rushed a bit to leave also?” 

“Oh yeah I forgot about that, it was quite strange now that I think about it.” 

“Yeah Tom’s been doing that to me ever since we left your parents’ house. And when I got home today I tried to talk to him about my day, because you know I thought he’s my friend, and he just said he really needed to work on the script and left to his room!”

“Hmm, I did tell him to finish the first act by tomorrow, but he’s been working in the living room all day. Said something about his room being more of a distraction. Also it’s not like Tom to leave without hearing someone out. He always listens.” You just sighed,

“I guess he thinks it’s still weird to be friends. I tried, sorry, Harry.”

“Please don’t give up just yet, y/n, maybe he’s just stressed or something. You know I wouldn’t want to pick sides.” You nodded and started to drift off to sleep and felt Harry remove the bowl from your lap.

-

“Y/n, love, wake up.” you were being shaken by Harry.

“Huh? Oh sorry, did I fall asleep?” You asked groggily and he laughed,

“Yeah and I finished editing the short film!” You jumped up no longer tired anymore.

“Oh my god yay, Harry! Can I see it now pleaseeee?” You jumped up and down on the bed.

“Tomorrow, love, it’s 1 am now and I want to show everyone in the house at the same time.” You pouted and he laughed.

“Fine then be like that. But I’m proud of you.” You hugged him, “Good night, Harry, can’t wait to see the finished product!” 

“Night, love.” He chuckled and you walked out with your empty dish.

You pulled out your phone and opened the Instagram app to see that Tom posted something on his story about 30 minutes ago. It was a picture of the script and his foot captioned, “Working on something big, like my big toe.” You giggled a bit and muttered, “Idiot.” The next story post was from Tuwaine, it was a picture you all took together after breakfast when Tom burnt himself. You were laying across the boys’ laps and Tom was happily looking down at your smiling face. It was captioned, “If lock down happens, it’ll be a real party with these people.” You smiled and reposted it to your story.

As soon as you reached the kitchen you saw Tom sitting at the counter and typing away on his laptop.

“Hey, Tom, still working?” Tom jumped at the sound of your voice.

“Jesus, don’t scare me like that. And yes I couldn’t sleep, b-but I think I’m getting tired now.” He was about to close his laptop and leave, but you stopped him. 

“Oh my god… I’m just gonna put my dish in the sink and leave.” His frazzled expression turned to a relaxed one and he sat back down typing again, refusing to look at you. You began to walk away then felt the urge to ask,

“Tom, a-are you avoiding me?” It came out quieter than you thought, you felt vulnerable. He stopped typing for a brief moment when you asked.

“No, definitely not. Why’d you think that?” You walked back to the counter and stood across him leaning on the surface.

“I’ve been noticing that you're in a rush to leave the room when we’re alone…” Tom continued to type, but incorrectly because of his nerves. 

“Oh, I-I’m sorry, love, didn’t mean for you to think that. I’m just busy is all, I promise.” He said and pointed at the laptop.

“Too busy to hear your friend rant about her day?” You asked and he sighed. His heart dropped when you called yourself his friend.

“I’m afraid so, love. Now why don’t you go sleep don’t you have to film tom-” You cut him off getting tired of the excuses,

“Tom cut the shit, I know you’re avoiding me and I don’t get why.” Tom sighed as you rambled and he put his laptop to the side because he wasn’t getting anything done, “I really appreciate you letting me stay here, but shouldn’t we at least talk a little bit? I mean I was ready to be friends with you for Harry’s sake and then we talked at the dinner and then I was genuinely ready to start off on a new foot. I’ve been trying so hard to reach out to you and you’re literally avoiding me now. Like are you even trying at all? Because I don’t-” Your eyes began to water. Tom got too frustrated and cut you off,

“Y/n I can’t talk about this right now. Please, it’d be better if we discussed this another time.”

“What the hell? Are you being serious? You were a dick when we broke up, you were a dick when I tried to reach out to you, and now you’re being a dick for putting our so called ‘friendship’ on ho-”

“Y/n, stop! Ok? I get it. You can call me a dick and an asshole whatever you want, but this is all for you! Everything I do is for you or because of you! So just leave me the fuck alone, please.” His voice cracked when he said the last sentence. 

“What the hell are you talking about? What are you doing for me?” You stared at him confused.

“I can’t say anything, it’s for the best. Just drop it.” You looked at one another, tears threatening to fall out of Tom’s eyes, you hadn’t noticed you were already crying.

“No. I’m not gonna leave until you tell me what’s going on, Tom. I care for you and I want to be here for you, just tell me what’s going on please.” He looked at you and furrowed his brows making tears stream down his cheeks, it hurt to see you so sad especially since he caused it. He turned around in distress and brushed his hands through his hair before turning back to you. He looked into your eyes and sighed knowing there was no way out of this situation.

“I’ve been avoiding you because I told Allana you’re my ex.” 

“Ok and what’s so ba-”

“Let me finish, y/n, please.” You apologized softly.

“I told her not to tell anyone because I didn’t want to break the promise of letting the world know that we dated. A-and she threatened to spill the secret if I didn’t stay away from you. She said if I ever told anyone about what she said or if she ever saw me close to you again she’d expose us right away. I-I didn’t want to jeopardize our friendship because I decided to be honest to my two-faced girlfriend.” All this information hit you like a train.

“Wow, what. a. fucking. Bitch.” You said stunned, Tom scoffed.

“I feel like an idiot for not listening to the boys and not seeing the red flags.” He sat back down and put his head in his hands. 

“Hey don’t worry, I didn’t notice anything either. Hell I tried to help her. Maybe we’re too gullible…” What you said didn’t really help so Tom began to sob a bit. You walked over to his side and put a hand on his forearm so that he could look at you. His heart was racing at your touch.

“Look, I know Allana is bat shit crazy, but…” You paused thinking if this was a good thing to tell him, “I uh I don’t think I can have you avoiding me all the time, I want you in my life,” He looked up at you surprised, “a-as a friend.” His heart dropped, was that all you were ever going to see him as? A damn friend? 

“Ok, but Allana will tell everyone, and I know how much you care about your privacy.” He said with a stuffy nose, you grabbed a tissue for yourself and Tom.

“I know, but we’ll figure out a way. We were clever enough to hide a 6 month relationship.” You smiled, but you both felt sad when you mentioned your past. He got up and wrapped you in his arms tightly. You swayed back and forth as you felt wet droplets fall on the top of your head, and you soaked Tom’s white t-shirt. You both weren’t crying only because of what just happened, but because you missed one another in a way that words can’t explain. You let out the tears you didn’t cry from when Tom didn’t respond to you and remembered the nights you’d go through old pictures of you and him alone. Tom was crying out all the tears he wanted to let out when he saw that picture of you and Gavin and from the nights that he craved your touch. He tightened his arms around you like it was the last time he’d ever see you. 

“Allana might be watching from outside the window, I’m gonna let you go now.” You said and Tom chuckled sadly letting you go, “We’ll talk about what we can do about this situation in the morning or another time.” You smiled kindly at Tom and he nodded. Tom grabbed your hand softly before you could walk away and pulled you close. You gulped because of how close you were to him,

“Thanks for being so kind, sleep well. Goodnight, y/n.” You smiled and replied,

“Thanks for being more kind to me. Goodnight.” You gave him one last hug and walked away feeling relieved while Tom still felt guilty despite what you said. He still felt like he needed to do more.

-

You woke up at 8 AM feeling a lot happier for some reason. Maybe it was because you cleared things up with Tom last night or because you were going to film a really exciting scene today with some new people. 

You walked into the kitchen, “Goodmorning boys!” You said enthusiastically walking up behind where Harry was seated and gave him a hug from behind.

“Ew why’re you happy?” Harry asked, still tired. 

“Morning, y/n!!” Tuwaine and Haz said in unison. You grabbed a bowl and poured yourself a bowl of cereal.

“Harry, when are we gonna watch your film, I can’t wait any longer.” You complained.

“Maybe when you come back from set, I want to go back to sleep after I eat.”

“Ugh you’re so lazy.” You joked, “where’s Tom, isn’t he usually up by now?”

Tuwaine looked at the other boys then at you apologetically, “He uh left around 5 this morning.”

“Oh for an early workout or something?” You asked, taking a bite of cereal.

“No,” Tuwaine cleared his throat, “to Berlin, Germany.” You choked on your cereal. 

“Wait what, you’re joking I thought he leaves in 3 days.” 

“I don’t know exactly why he left, something about needing a few days for himself before filming. Which I understand because he’s been working hard.” Haz said and you furrowed your brows, was it because of what happened last night? Harry noticed your concern.

“Y/n, do you know exactly why he left?” You wanted to tell him, but you couldn’t. If the boys found out what Allana said they’d definitely do something about it and you couldn’t let that happen. You shook your head,

“Nope, I’m just as confused as you are.” You said coolly.

-

“Are you sure you don’t know what was making Tom stressed?” Harry asked as he pulled up in front of the studio.

“Ya, I’m sure. He’s avoiding me, remember?” It pained you to lie to Harry like that, but you weren’t sure if you were ready to let the world know you and Tom dated. Harry looked like he didn’t believe you, but he let it go.

“Ok then… Text or call when you need me to pick you up.” You thanked him again for dropping you off and walked to the set. You saw Lana and walked with her,

“Hey, babes, did you see the text from Melissa?” You shook your head no. Melissa was in charge of scheduling which scenes would be filmed every day, “She said everyone needed to meet at crafty’s before going to sound stage 32.” 

“Really? Why?” 

“Not quite sure, but there’s been rumors that filming will be postponed.” Lana said sadly.

“Wait, you’re joking.” She shrugged and shook her head as you guys entered the food tent, everyone already looking disappointed.

“Hi everyone, as many of you know Covid-19 was just announced as a world wide pandemic and we’ve just been shut down from shooting anymore scenes at least for two weeks.” Melissa said everyone groaning, “Yes I know this sucks, but please stay safe and healthy while we’re shut down. If you have a trailer here please make sure you clear all your things out because there will be a cleaning team here in two days to…” You drowned Melissa’s voice out

“Just when I thought this day couldn’t get any worse…” You sighed and dropped your head on Lana’s shoulder and she patted your head.

“Lastly make sure you all stay in the same shape you are in now, so nothing looks different when we resume shooting.” Melissa hopped off the table and everyone began to clear out to get their things. You called Harry telling him the sad news. 

-

“I’m so upset, Harry, today sucks.” He patted your thigh as he made a right turn.

“It’ll be ok, love. I’m sure you will go back to filming in no time and you’ll actually miss having a break.” You just leaned your head on the window wondering if Tom at least made it safely to Berlin, and in that exact moment your phone pinged. 

Tom: Hi, y/n, I assume the boys have already told you that I left for Berlin. I just landed. I’m really sorry for not giving a warning, but the space is for the best. I hope you can understand xx

You were upset with everything and everyone at this point and Tom’s text just ruined your mood more. How does he know what’s best for you? Mad and feeling petty you texted back,

You: k.

Tom: Please, trust me, y/n. This will help out our situation.

You: Last time I checked running away from your problems never helps the situation.

You threw your phone back into your purse annoyed.

“Oh shit, what the fuck is she doing here?” Harry asked, displeased. You looked up to see Allana pulling into the driveway just before you and Harry did. 

“Great. Just fucking great. Harry, I think I’m gonna scream.”

“I think I will too. Can we just drive around until she’s gone?”

“That would be nice, but I think she already spotted us and won’t leave.” You pointed at her going to sit down on the porch. Harry groaned and pulled into the driveway. As soon as you and Harry stepped out the car she stood up and barked,

“Where the hell is Tom? He hasn’t texted me since yesterday afternoon, today is our 5 month anniversary.” Well that makes things more complicated. Harry looked at you with wide eyes, “What? Why’re you looking at her like that? Did you have something to fucking do with this, y/n?” She said giving you the dirtiest look ever. ‘Bitch I hope it wasn’t because of me.’ You thought. Harry got closer to you in protective mode.

“No no I swear. We were all surprised to see Tom gone this morning.”

“Gone? Where the hell is he?” 

“He went to Berlin early. Now if you’ll excuse us we’d like to relax in our home.” Harry said not letting you talk, almost standing in front of you now. You both began to walk past her, but she squeezed your arm tight and yanked you back. You winced in pain.

“You bitch what did you do? Don’t even think about fucking lying to me.” Her eyes burned into your soul.

“Allana, what the fuck you’re crazy! back off!” Harry said, pulling you back behind him, “I suggest you leave now before things get more ugly.” He said in the most intimidating way possible.

“Ok, but the only thing ugly about this is whatever y/n did with Tom. I don’t doubt for a second that you’re a stupid whore. I saw that photo of you laying on him last night, and I’ve seen how you flirt with Tom you sk-”

“Allana that’s enough, go now!” Harry yelled and she looked surprised. She glared at you before stepping back, “Stay the fuck away from Tom he doesn’t need your ugly ass all over him.” “Allana, sweetie, we live in the same house. Quite dumb of you to think we can really stay away from one another.” You laughed darkly as tears of anger welled up in your eyes.

“Ok then, cunt. Go near him, I dare you. You have no idea what I’m capab-”

“Allana, I said fucking leave!” Harry was tired of this shit. Allana scoffed and finally drove away.

Harry turned to you cradling you in his arms as you let tears fall down your face, “I hate today…” you hiccuped, “a lot.” 

“I know, I know.” He cooed. You looked up at him, “I know something is up, y/n. You need to tell me why my brother really left so I can help you.” You sighed and nodded.

“Ok let’s get you cleaned up.” He kept you close to his side and you both walked in. Tom was so wrong thinking him leaving would solve anything.

+++

Tag list:  @averyfosterthoughts​ @thollandx​ @mrsjeffwittek​ @panicattheeverywherekid​ @racewife2004​ @greatpizzascissorstaco​ @witchything​ @wheelertozier​ @runway-to-my-aid​ @rafficorn @jessirosebud​ @peterspideyy​ @superstarchick​ @jackiehollanderr​  @astridcommings @mineymak712 @hollands-osterfield​ @inhumanwithpowers​

[stilestilikeslydia]

Takotsubo Cardiomyopathy: Part Two

so I’m almost never on tumblr anymore, but in case any of you remember my old fics, I wanted to come back to let you know that I FINALLY finished the second part to this fic that I wrote for the Stydia Big Bang almost four years ago haha

there’s also some excellent art for it that @wellsjahasghost and @sydrianssage made for it way back in 2017 that you can check out here and here if you would like :)

enjoy!

(Rated M)

“I can't believe I've been a ghost for ten years, and nobody thought to tell me about the new Star Wars trilogy until today. ”

“Stiles, nobody even knew you existed until last month.”

Kira slapped Malia’s knee—lightly, because Kira was still incapable of giving an actual reprimand. “Well, we’ve told you about it now,” she said, offering him her brightest smile. “What did you think?”

“I think… I miss my blissful ignorance from eight hours ago, when I didn’t know that George Lucas greenlit this absolute garbage fire,” Stiles whined. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, The Force Awakens started out with a lot of potential, and the cast is full of extremely hot and talented people, but what the fuck?! My only regret is that my death tree wasn’t transformed into a desk in the writers’ room for these movies, or I could have haunted those dipshits until they figured out how to write a plot that actually made sense.”

“Your only regret, huh?” Lydia asked, keeping her tone dry and incredulous.

“No, you're right,” Stiles said, his expression instantly transforming into the biggest shit-eating grin Lydia had seen since before he'd died. “I also regret not inventing ectoplasmic grocery stores before my death. It’s unfair that I cook for all of you and don't get to eat any of it.”

“Not our fault you actually enjoy cooking,” Malia pointed out. “And depleting Lydia's bank account.”

“I am going to strangle you,” Lydia said. “Werecoyote strength or not.”

“But then who’s going to sit next to you in bars and make fun of everybody we see?”

“Yeah, you need her for that,” Kira added. “I’m terrible at judging people, and so is Scott.”

Scott toasted her with a grin, looking relaxed and comfortable against the armrest of the oversized couch he was currently sharing with a ghost and a realtor. Stiles took one look at him and snorted.

“Scott’s a terrible judge of many things,” he agreed. “People… the distance between a car bumper and the curb… movies…”

“Movies?”

“Yes, Scott!” Stiles crowed, now fully recovered from his initial disappointment. “This trilogy may have been a mess, but in order to watch it, you must have seen the other two trilogies too, and that means you have to know how great they are! Admit it, Star Wars is amazing, you were wrong, and I was right! Not watching it with me earlier was the biggest mistake of your life!”

“Maybe not the biggest,” Scott said, the grin on his face slipping a little. Lydia’s fingers tightened around the stem of her wine glass. “Anyway, I already knew the Star Wars movies were good. I watched them junior year.”

“Junior year?! ” Stiles squawked, so surprised that he started sinking into the couch. “And you never told me?! What the hell, man, all those times you pretended not to get my references and you—”

“Of college,” Scott clarified, and the room went silent.

Lydia set her wine glass down on the coffee table with trembling fingers. The tapping of glass on wood sounded like a gunshot, a bullet to the lungs. There was a crescent moon outside. For one heart-shattering moment, Lydia swore she could smell wolfsbane.

“I’m going to go get a glass of water,” she said, voice too harsh to her own ears, bouncing off the walls and clanging in her skull. Another bullet to the lungs.

The next thing she became aware of was the press of a cabinet knob against her back, the solidity of a hardwood floor underneath her body. She was leaning against the kitchen island, eyes level with the cabinet that Stiles had poked open over and over again to entertain Brooke all those weeks ago. Tonight, though, when she opened it herself, there was nothing inside.

Lydia clung to the knob anyway and tried not to cry.

It wasn’t Stiles who came to check on her after a few minutes, or Scott, or even Kira. Instead, Malia was the one who tugged the cabinet door out of Lydia’s hand and dropped to the floor, flinging her legs out to one side and meeting Lydia’s eyes without flinching.

“Kira started talking about BB-8 again,” she said. “Scott looked like he wanted to change the subject.”

Lydia pressed her lips together, looked away, and settled her hands on her knees with careful precision. “That was nice of her. I’m sure he did.”

“He told me, you know,” Malia continued without missing a beat. “About what you told him. About Stiles wanting you to sell the house.”

Lydia’s fingers clenched around the hem of her dress. “Yes.”

Malia narrowed her eyes. “Are you going to?”

“I have to,” Lydia said, “or Yvenne will just find another realtor.”

“Okay, maybe,” Malia said. “But who are you going to sell it to ?”

Lydia froze. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh, come on,” she said. “I know you’ve been considering it. You’ve been eyeing the curtains in the living room like you can’t wait to change them all night.”

“Maybe I just can’t believe Yvenne expects me to find a buyer for this house when it’s been decorated so poorly.”

Malia rolled her eyes. “You don’t have to lie to me. I’m more observant than you think, and I’m not Scott or Stiles. I’m not going to try and stop you.”

Slowly, precisely, Lydia tilted her head and met Malia’s piercing gaze. “You know what you’re saying, right? Scott and Stiles would try to stop me.”

“Yeah,” Malia said. “And that matters, because Lydia Martin always does what people tell her to do. And I had a normal childhood. And math was my favorite subject in high school.”

After a long moment, Lydia stood. Malia mimicked the movement. “I just think we’ve already lost enough people,” Lydia admitted. “I don’t want to lose him twice.”

“Like I said. I’m not going to try and stop you.”

For a while, Lydia told herself that she hadn’t made up her mind. She let Stiles cook her every meal and listened to him relive memories from high school and the two years of college he’d gotten to enjoy, doing his best to help her appreciate the times they’d shared together without losing herself in them. She fell asleep on the couch with him while they watched movies together and pretended that she didn’t know he’d been playing with her hair when she woke up. She allowed him to teach her how to cook and change the oil in her car, life skills that she’d always expected him to handle in their relationship, life skills he wanted her to master before he moved onto wherever he expected to go once he stopped being a ghost, but—

But then, on a Thursday afternoon a week before Yvenne’s deadline, Lydia’s phone rang.

They were in the middle of making stir fry, but Stiles nudged her with the spatula he was using—one loophole he’d found for their inability to make physical contact—and told her to answer it “just in case.” “It could be important, Lyds.”

That was precisely why she didn’t want to answer it, but with a long-suffering sigh and a pointed glare, Lydia wiped her hands off on a paper towel and picked up the phone. “Hello?”

“Hello, Lydia Martin? This is Shea O’Malley.”

Predictably and irksomely, Lydia’s heart rate increased. “What can I do for you, Shea?” she asked, smoothing on her realtor’s smile even though Shea couldn’t see. Between the way Stiles’s eyebrows were raised and the way his head was tilted so he could hear Shea’s half of the conversation, Lydia needed the extra armor.

“Well, Ben and Piper and I have been shopping around the neighborhoods near that lovely red house you showed us, but we simply haven’t found a place that compares. After a long discussion, Ben and I have decided that there’s no use searching any longer. We would like to place an offer on that red house.”

Lydia’s head was all white noise and bloodstains and terror. She tried to picture saying goodbye to Stiles and watching him dissolve into whatever dimension the rest of their dead loved ones had ended up in. She tried to imagine handing the keys over to the O’Malleys and leaving the red house for good. She tried to convince herself that it was possible for her to move on.

But like the O’Malleys, Lydia discovered that it was no use.

Once upon a time, it might have been possible for her to move on. But now Lydia’s heart was inextricably entwined with this red house.

The only difference was that Lydia had the ability to hold onto it.

“I’m sorry,” she said, the white noise fading to a treacherous whisper. (So, basically nothing. Treacherous whispers were old friends in Lydia’s mind.) “You’re too late. The red house has already been sold.”

Stiles froze. Lydia froze, judging his reaction. Over the phone line, Lydia heard Shea’s breath catch, and then she sighed. “Are you certain there’s no chance of the buyer changing their mind? I mean, if we could place a counteroffer—”

“I’m afraid that there’s no amount of money you could offer that this particular buyer wouldn’t match,” Lydia said with as much gentleness as she could muster. The O’Malleys really were a nice family. “They’re quite dedicated, have a substantial savings account, and are at least as attached to the house as you are.”

Shea’s second sigh was only slightly less audible than the first. “Well, that’s it, then,” she said tiredly. “Thank you for all of your help, Lydia. We all thoroughly enjoyed meeting you the other day.”

“If you still haven’t found a different house in the next few weeks, let me know and I’ll help you keep looking. Free of charge,” Lydia blurted, because she was going to keep the house and Stiles and therefore she could afford to offer a little kindness to the family whose dream home she had just poached.

“Why, that’s very kind of you,” Shea said, oblivious to Lydia’s silent betrayal. “We may just take you up on that offer. Thank you again.”

And after the exchange of a few more pleasantries, she hung up.

“What the fuck?” Stiles said into the resulting silence. “A buyer made an offer on this house, and you didn’t tell me about it?”

Lydia set her phone on the counter. “You don’t really want me to leave.”

Stiles dropped his spatula. “What?”

“Come on, Stiles,” Lydia said. “Who do you think you’re talking to? If you really wanted me to move on, you never would have opened your mouth. I would have walked into this house on that first day, sold it, and walked right back out without ever knowing that you were here.”

“I—” Stiles spluttered. “I was surprised, and I just—”

“Maybe,” Lydia replied. “But that could have been it. I told you not to make it difficult for me to sell this house, and instead you scared off buyer after buyer until I figured out who you were. You say you want me to move on, but you’re here, Stiles. You’re standing right in front of me, and I’m never going to move on when I could have this instead!”

“What do you want me to say?” Stiles demanded. “Do you want an apology? Because I know you deserve one. I—I—I’m sorry for talking to you, I’m sorry for cooking you dinner, I’m sorry for being here! I didn’t mean to make this harder for you, and I’m sorry that I did! Is that what you wanted to hear?”

“NO!”

It wasn’t a banshee scream, but it left Lydia hoarse and aching all the same.

“I don’t want you to be sorry,” she whispered. “I just want you to want me to stay.”

“Well, I am sorry, Lyds. And I can’t give that to you.”

“Stiles—”

“Pick up the phone, Lydia. Call the O’Malleys. Tell them the buyer changed their mind.”

Lydia took a deep breath and looked at the man who was the love of both her life and whatever came after that. “No.”

“Lydia.”

“No, Stiles! I’m not going to do that! These last few weeks have been the happiest weeks of the past ten years. You can’t honestly stand there and expect me to give that up.”

“That’s the thing, though,” he said. “I’m not actually standing here.”

“That doesn’t matter to me.”

“But it should.” Stiles reached out, brushed his fingers through a loose strand of her hair, and then stepped away. “I might not be able to stop you from buying this house, but that doesn’t mean I have to give you a reason to live here.”

There was a whoosh, as if he was opening up that interdimensional doorway again, and then he disappeared.

On the stove, the stir fry began to burn.

(read the rest on ao3)

[maybxnks]

panicked - kiaraxreader

summary: y/n and kie hash out feelings that they should’ve years ago.

pairing: kiaraxreader

warnings: underage drinking, smoking, cussing, some angst and fluff sorta, mentions of sex

a/n: hello. this is the first time i’ve ever written anything on here so please go easy on me. also it’s 4am so if there’s mistakes i apologize. i’ll probably rewrite this at some point but anyways enjoy!! 

give kie a girlfriend!!!!!!!!!!!!!

____________________________________________________

You weren’t sure how you spotted her through the crowded area of Kooks, Pogues and tourists that littered the beach, but you did. And you wanted to fucking cry. You haven’t seen her since she ran out of your life almost two years ago. 

She looked good, hell she always looked good. She was always effortlessly beautiful and you still weren’t sure how she even gave you the time of day. The orange hues from the fire she was sitting at was making her face glow, just like it used to when the morning sun cast over her when she was sleeping in your bed. And her untamed, curly, dark hair was softly blowing from the wind that the waves caused. 

She was sitting with a group of five, two of them being the infamous Sarah Cameron and John Booker Routledge. The two lovers went missing at sea a year ago and just recently returned to The Outer Banks. To say the whole island was in shock would be an understatement. No one had heard a word from them the entire time they were gone and they just showed up like nothing had happened, like everyone didn’t think they were dead.

“Y/N! Are you ok?” Your best friend asked.

“Hmm? Yeah. Sorry just lost in my own thoughts.” You responded peeling your eyes away from the girl you once used to love. 

She studied you for a moment not really believing you. She had been watching you stare at the girl for a while but decided it was best not to bring it up. “Come on, let’s go dance.” she said grabbing your hand that wasn’t holding the plastic red cup full of cheap beer. 

Letting her pull you away from your spot near the keg you stole one more longing glance.

You weren’t sure how long you two had been dancing but you knew you needed another beer seeing as how your cup was now empty. 

“I’ll be back, need a refill.” You said holding up the cup shaking it slightly. 

The girl just waved you off since she had now gained the attention of a random tourist. 

Laughing you turned and started to tread back to the keg. The table now occupied by John B, Sarah, Kie and a blonde and dark skinned boy you didn’t know the names of. You were hoping not to have to run into her the rest of the night but God seemed to hate you.

Sighing you walked up and had put on your best smile, praying no one noticed how uncomfortable you were. 

“Hi Y/N! Need a refill?” John B. asked.

“Yes please.” You smiled at him sending a small wave to Sarah who gladly returned it. 

“So the Bahamas huh?” You joked, trying to start up a conversation with the modern day Romeo and Juliet. Minus the dying part obviously. 

Unknowing to you Kiara had tensed as soon as she heard your name. The girl had noticed you earlier when the group had arrived. You were smiling and laughing with a girl she didn’t know and her heart ached. She wanted to go over and talk to you but she knew you didn’t want to see her. Not that she blamed you, she had left without any explanation and refused to answer your many texts and calls.

Pope and JJ had noticed the girls mood change. JJ had put a hand on her arm gaining her attention. “Yo Kie you okay?” He asked. 

“Mhmm.” The girl hummed trying to hide her face in her beer bottle. JJ and Pope though didn’t believe that. “You sure? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” JJ joked trying to ease her now weird mood.

“Yep.” Kie replied, trying to listen in on the conversation happening right behind her in hopes of hearing your laugh.

“Whatever you say.” JJ said turning to the other three that were deep in conversation. 

Kie took another huge gulp from her beer, trying to gain the confidence to turn around and actually face you.

When her beer was gone she had finally turned around to see you and JJ introducing yourselves. JJ not so discreetly hitting on you, instantly putting her in a sour mood. Rolling her eyes with a huff Kiara walked over and threw her arm around the blonde boys shoulders.

“JJ, stop hitting on every girl you see. The girl clearly ins’t interested.” She said finally looking at you in the eyes for the first times in years.

Raising your brows with an amused look on your face. “Who said that?” You questioned turning from the blondes face to hers.

You were pissed, but you were trying not to show it. How dare she walk over here and act like nothing happened between you two, like she didn’t even know your name. 

Fine, she wanted to play that game then you could too. 

Rolling her eyes again she threw her arm off JJ and crossed them over her chest. “I did.” 

Keeping eye contact with her you raised the cup to your mouth to mask the slight smirk on your face. 

“Still got that dolphin tattoo?” You asked innocently. The group of friends all raised their eyebrows, confused on how you knew about her secret tattoo.

“Oh, fuck you.” She spat, bawling her hands into fists letting them fall to her sides.

“Hmm, I’ll take that as a yes.” You hummed. “Anyways nice talking to you guys but I gotta go save my friend from getting an STD from some frat boy.” You said turning away from them and treading down the beach with a smile on your face, happy at the fact that you had gotten her as angry as you were.

Once you were out of their sight, the four turned to Kiara. 

“Ok what the fuck was that?” JJ asked.

They had never seen their friend that upset and angry. 

“Nothing, I was trying to help her out by saving her from you but she clearly wasn’t grateful.” She said trying to calm herself down.

“Nope not buying it. Tell us what happened.” Sarah said. If there was one thing Kie knew about Sarah it was that she was never going to stop bugging her until she finally snapped.

“Fine. Fine.” She said running her hands through her curls in frustration. “You guys remember when I had my kook year?” 

The group nodded. 

“Well when Sarah had that party and didn’t invite me I took a walk on the beach trying to distract myself. I met Y/N on the beach, she was smoking and asked if I wanted to hit it so I did, obviously. Next thing I know, I’d smoked two joints with her and ended up telling her all about my problems. She listened and just let me vent to her. By the end of my story she pulled out her phone and called the police telling them about the party.” Kiara explained looking at Sarah with an apologetic look. 

“From then on we hung out everyday. We went surfing, shopping, went to the movies. I practically lived with her for months. Hell she even gave me my tattoo.” Kiara said throwing her arms up.

“One night we were watching a movie and next thing I know she kissed me.” She smiled at the memory. “It was new and exciting.” She trailed off sadly looking down at her feet.

“But I got scared. I just remember waking up and looking at her sleeping, she just looked so beautiful and.. and I knew she deserved better than me. Someone who wasn’t scared of loving her and could do so without disappointing their parents. So I left, I snuck out of her bed and never went back.” She said. “That was almost two years ago.” She finished. 

Sarah walked around the table and hugged her. Kie hadn’t realized she had tears threatening to spill from her eyes. 

“I think you should go talk to her.” She said rubbing her hands up and down her back to comfort her. 

“Yeah I should.” She agreed, pulling out of the hug to wipe her face.

“Wait, you got it on with a hot girl and didn’t even tell us? Selfish.” JJ said with a look of hurt.

Kiara laughed, happy that JJ’s dumbass comment easily lifted the mood without even trying.

“Go talk to her.” Pope said with a small push in the direction the other girl went.

“Seriously? Are we not gonna talk about this? I want details!” JJ yelled after the girl, throwing his hands up in dismay.

He was quickly shut up by John B smacking the back of his head.

“Hey you wanna leave? It’s almost 1am and I’m honestly not in the mood to party anymore.” You said pulling your friend from the conversation she was having with the dark haired male she was dancing with earlier.

“I think I’m gonna stay for a bit.” She smiled while looking at the boy she was definitely going to be sneaking through her window later. 

“Are you okay?” She asked once she noticed your sad expression and your arms wrapped around you trying to make yourself smaller. 

“Yeah I’m good. Just tired.” You reassured. “I’ll let you get back to it.” You said with a smile pointing at the boy.

“You sure?” 

“Yeah, have fun. Wear protection!” You shouted with a playful smile making your way up the beach to head home. 

Making your way past the crowd you were stopped by a hand on your arm. 

“Y/N! Wait!”

Closing your eyes you let out a huff of annoyance.

“What?” You asked turning around to face the person stopping you from crashing in your bed.

“Can we talk please?” Kiara asked slowly moving her hand off your arm.

“Sure!” You said with fake enthusiasm. “You wanna start with you leaving me naked in bed after I finally had the courage to make a move? Or do you wanna talk about you being jealous and rude when I was simply talking to your friends? What about you pretending like you didn’t know who I was or what you did to me?” You shouted. 

No one seemed to notice though as the music around the beach was loud, drowning you out.

Kie winced looking down at her feet. “I’m sorry.” She whispered.

“Sorry? You’re sorry?” You asked in disbelief. “Are you fucking kidding me?” you laughed bitterly.

“Look, can you just let me explain.”

“No! I don’t want to hear it anymore. I wanted a reason years ago not now!”

Kiara still wouldn’t look you in the eyes. Finding her pale yellow vans more interesting at the moment. Huffing you turned on your heels determined to leave before you got even more pissed.

“I was scared because I was falling in love with you.” Kiara spoke softly. 

You froze.

“Everything with you felt so good and I panicked. I panicked because I’ve never felt like that about someone. I panicked because I was scared of what my parents would think once they found out. They already hated me for going back to the pogues and I didn’t want to be anymore of a disappointment to them” She was now in front of you, looking between your eyes for any sort of emotion. Tears were starting to cloud both of your eyes. “Which is stupid because when I told them I liked girls too they didn’t even bat an eye. They just said they would always love me and it didn’t matter who I wanted to be with.” she trailed off.

“Leaving you that day was the worst decision I’ve ever made. I thought I didn’t deserve you, I still don’t. You’re this perfect person, inside and out and I didn’t want to ruin you.” She smiled sadly. “And I just wish you didn’t hate me anymore.” 

You laughed grabbing her face with both hands and wiping her tears away. “No matter what you do, I could never hate you.” You smiled. “Even if I wanted to.” 

“Really?” she looked at you and your bright smile. 

“Really. Wanna know why?” 

Before she could answer you crashed your lips together. She didn’t even hesitate to kiss back, grabbing your neck with one hand and snaking her other one around your waist to keep you close. Everything around you faded away. You couldn’t hear the loud music playing, the waves, not even her friends cheering you two on in the distance. Nothing in that moment mattered, except her. 

Sighing you pulled away with a smile on your face.

Kiara slowly opened her eyes, dazed from feeling your lips on hers again. 

“Wanna stay the night?” You asked, biting your lip to try and contain the huge smile that was trying to escape.

“Do you even need to ask?”

Giving her one more quick kiss, you intertwined your hands and pulled her in the direction of your house. 

“Hope you know you aren’t getting any sleep tonight. We’ve got a lot of making up to do.” 

[mytrashs-blog]

Movie Star- part 2!

Pairing: BFF! Tom Holland x Reader

Warnings: She’s a fluffy one... but also not straight away

Summary: You’re trying to save your friendship but the plan changes

Word Count: 3,071 words so buckle up

A/N: This is the last part I will be writing on this and that’s final, cause I had THE hardest time trying to write fluff... I’m an angst author, what can I say? I did love the final result of this, so I hope you enjoy! (Please if you do like it, reblog it so it can be read by more and more people).

Part one is here!!!, and here is my masterlist in case you want to read something else

(Gif isn’t mine, credits go to the owner!)

You’re sitting on the couch, two popcorn bowls sitting on the coffee table, because you like spicy sauce on yours and he finds soggy popcorn disgusting, there’s also two bottles one coke and one water, because you can’t stand fizzy drinks, but it’s his cheat day so he’ll take advantage. You’re both on the same couch, but you’re in your side, he’s in his, there’s two blankets and there’s no touching, not even accidentally, not even casually, none at all.

Frankly you’re even surprised you agreed to see him again after that one time you went out for coffee with him to come up with a peace treaty. It’s not that you don’t want things to go back to normal, it’s just that you don’t know what “normal” is for both of you anymore, you’re very sure there is no such thing after all the drama you went through a year ago. But you’re willing to try.

The movie has been going on for a while and you haven’t exchanged a word for the whole time, you intentionally decided to play a good movie so that you wouldn’t get the chance to start talking, so Pulp Fiction is playing, funny enough it’s your first time watching it and you’ve never been a big fan of Tarantino’s films, but you haven’t let Tom (your former best friend) see you yawning under your blanket. Thank Lord your thoughts drift away unitl the movie ends, but then you start getting anxious, you’ve been dreading this moment because you just know he’s gonna tell you something. And he does.

“What’s wrong? You didn’t say a word in like two hours and that’s not very you from you” he offers in an insecure manner, and that’s not very Tom from Tom.

“There’s… nothing wrong, Tom… I just don’t know what to say to you anymore. I don’t know who you are, we’ve been out of each other’s lives for a year. Last time we actually spent time together we destroyed our friendship. And then we attacked each other for the months that followed. We haven’t had a proper conversation in more than a year, A YEAR. And I’m not saying I don’t want us to be friends anymore, I just don’t know how to start.”

He stares at you for a few seconds, you can see he’s calculating his next dialogue, he really doesn’t want to fuck up the babies steps you’ve taken to fix things, and you don’t either so you wait for him.

“We…” he starts but soon stops again, thinking once more of an apropriate way to say things “We can’t really go back to the way things were before, because we were doing a lot of things wrong to begin with. I don’t want to have what we had before… I want to start fresh. You don’t know the new me and I don’t know the new you. So let’s get to know each other.”

That was the corniest speech you’ve ever heard. If you weren’t so moved by it, you’d be laughing at his face, but instead of doing that, you tried to follow along with the corny theme, so you reached your hand out for him to strech it and said “Hi, my name’s (Y/N), nice to meet you”.

He did chuckle at that but he took your hand regardless, offering one of those relaxed smiles you haven’t seen in over a year “I’m Tom, nice to meet you too”.

You kept hanging out a lot more often since that day, things were picking up a nice pace and you were getting more and more comfortable around him everyday. Sure, things changed, but they changed for the better. He made sure to take you to a lot of the fun things he did sometimes and you even invited him to the recital of the dance academy where you teach, which was a mistake because he had to smile and take pictures all afternoon with little girls and a bunch of moms… and the ocassional dad who actually cared about his role on spider-man and not only his beautiful biceps. Not that you were paying attention to the fact that he was getting buff again to reprise his role, no, he’s your friend, you don’t look at those things. You noticed because the moms noticed.

It was nice to fall back into your habit of late night phone calls to tell each other the latest gossip around your lives, you also missed sending him the most random, wackyest gifs at the most inconvenient of times and you missed him offering to drive you to places, maybe even go buy your groceries together.

Soon enough the press found out you were hanging out again and you were not safe from paparazzi for a solid amount of two weeks until it stopped being interesting, but of course half of the stories were written along the lines of “From bff to enemies to lovers? Is Tom Holland dating long time bestie (Y/N)?” and just like you did all those years ago when he was just becoming Hollywood’s newest hearthrobe you got together to laugh about what the tabloids were writing.

There was only one problem. You kinda were catching feelings.

It’s just that he had changed so much. He wasn’t mean aymore, to anyone and it’s not even that he went back to being the nice guy he was before the fame, he was even better, because he had matured so much and he knew just how much he meant to the people around him, so he made sure to let them know how grateful he was of having them around and it was so nice to see him become such a well rounded man. Regardless of all that, you know that it is a very stupid idea to come up like “Yo, I have a big fat crush on you” right now, because… you just got back to being friends! so you resolve to keep your mouth shut and your feelings at bay.

This one day Tom texted you asking if you wanna grab a bite, he’s at a table reading nearby so you accept and you get sushi because you’re basic like that, but he’s acting all weird today. He’s been staring at you for a little too long now and his gaze has been falling to your lips a few times now, which would be less weird if you weren’t currently stuffing your face with a salmon sushi roll.

You’ve been trying to get him to be less weird, asking about the script, his cast mates and all, but he’s just not cooperating and just keeps doing this thing that he does when he’s nervous where he justs sits there all stiff and plays with whatever he has in his hands, which right now it’s chopsticks and that makes it way too annoying, because it makes a lot of noise, so you decide enough is enough and just go straight against him. “Thomas “some middle name that you hate me calling you” Holland, what on earth is going on with you today?”

He abruptly stops with the chopsticks and you’re so grateful for a second, but then his attention shifts to his watch and it’s pressing your buttons pretty terribly, but then he decides he can actually talk. “Sorry uh… I’ve just been thinking… about… life?”

“What the hell do you mean? And don’t give me any bullshit answer cause you know I’ll know.”

You see him get visibly flustered, but he takes a deep breath to talk, “I’m just… I have been thinking…”

“Oh really? first time I take it” you laugh to lighten the mood that suddenly got terribly heavy.

“Oh, shut up… No, but really. It’s just that we’ve come such a long way, not only recently but overall in the course of the, what? 17 years? that we’ve known each other, you know? and I have been thinking that these past months our relationship has changed so much…”

Is he…?

“And I just think that we’re at a place where we could just try…”

Shit, he is.

“To go somewhere new, you know?”

Holy fuck… he most definetely is!

He falls silent and is looking at you waiting for your reaction, but you’re so shocked that you just haven’t even thought about what you’re going to say to him!

“When you say ‘somewhere new’ what does that mean?” you go for a question, just to get things clear as water before totally reacting.

“I just mean that.. I’ve realized just how much I like you, for real. No safety net here. I want to be with you and I can’t go for another 17 years pretending that I don’t”

For all you know you might just have choked on your sushi, but you haven’t so you decide to swallow whatever is still in your mouth and it’s hard, but mainly because air has just left your lungs. “I… don’t know, I mean… I can’t deny that I have felt that way, but I’m scared. Like what if it doesn’t work out? It’s been hard enough to go back to being friends after a ‘friend break up’ imagine if it was a real, real break up? Would we be able to recover?”

“I know. I’m aware that this is not a simple thing to do, I don’t expect you to just say yes and jump right into my arms. That’s just not your style. Do you want to maybe sleep on it?”

And you do. It’s the worst night of your life though. You’re restless all night, just can’t get your brain to shut up. How are you supposed to “sleep on it” if there is no sleep involved? You roll on you side for what feels like the millionth time and you see the time… it’s almost three in the morning and you haven’t been able to even blink. It’s just… You want to be with Tom so bad, you do! But you also know that you’ve never been good at relationships, they just never last, and then there’s the fact that you have extreme trust issues because almost every guy you’ve ever been with has cheated on you, and you don’t want be paranoid and crazy around Tom, but you just know at some point you won’t be able to hold it in. And for fucks sake! He’s an actor! He will have to kiss other girls for work and… you just don’t want to even think about it… but also, those girls are waaaay prettier than you are.

But on the good side, no one knows Tom like you do, he has never cheated on any girl ever, he’s a real gentleman, and you already have your fingerprint stored in his phone and you do know all his social media passwords which he doesn’t even know how to use so there’s no way he notices the thousands of girls sliding into his dm’s, you also have already met all his friends and family so you can skip all that awkward part of new relationships. How weird would it be to kiss Tom?

He does have very nice lips and he’s constantly using chapstick so they must be very soft, and you’ve seen him kissing actresses before and they’ve never complained about him being a bad kisser, and it’s not like you never thought about that. To be completely honest you’ve imagined how it would be to do way more than just kissing your best friend, which is normal… right? everyone fantazises about their best friend at least once in their life. Difference being that you spent about seven years doing so, if not more.

So if you’ve been in love with him for so long now, and you were able to forgive him for being an asshole and then he changed for the better after thinking he’d lose you then why not give it a shot? It can’t go wrong. You’ve already proved you’d rather die than not have each other in your lives, so even if it’s doesn’t work as a romantic thing you may still be able to save your friendship, right?

You were finally able to fall asleep at 4 a.m. and unsurprisingly, you did dream about you and Tom during your normal movie night, only you’re all curled up on each other, one of his hands is soothingly running through your hair and the other one is on your waist but slipping dangerously low, he ocassionally places a kiss on top of your head and you just feel extremely relaxed, it’s such a bliss of a dream, but then you wake up.

You want to text him the second you wake up, but you still want to keep thinking about it, just because you don’t want to say yes based on a really nice and domestic dream you had, so you make yourself a really nice breakfast and head to work which involves chill dancing around all day, and dance was always a nice way to analize things, at least to you. Also, not thinking is the perfect way of deciding wether you want something or not. By the time you’re done for the day, you’re ready to text Tom.

You ask him to meet you at yours as soon as he has some free time, and around an hour later, the doorbell rings and it’s him. God, you haven’t been this nervous over a guy since middle school, it is borderline ridiculous, but you gotta keep it together. It’s just Tom. Tommy, the guy that wears Hello Kitty pajamas and ties his hair in tiny pony tails when it starts getting too long, he’s the same guy that will regularly asks you how to spell “though” correctly. Just Tom.

You open the door and he looks just as nervous as you are, but you let him in and, as if he’s never been here before, he just stands there by the front door until you ask him to go to the living room. He plays with his hands and tries to clean off the sweat that he probably has all over his hands in his trousers, and you do the same. Just to be safe.

You’re sitting on oposite ends of the room, both of you visibly giddy and jumpy, but you’re so silent that a needle falling would be audible in the whole room. So you try to speak.

“H-how was your day, Tom? Everything okay?”

“Yeah… all normal, pretty chill. You?”

“Normal, just the regular.”

And you fell back into silence for a bit over a minute that felt like years. Unitl you decided you needed to speak again.

“So.. about the thing you told me yesterday…”

“Yes, tell me. Did you think about it?”

“Yeah, I did. You know, we’ve been through a lot together and you know that. I am extremely afraid of losing you forever and I need to tell you that being in good terms with you is my number one priority.”

Tom’s face stays serious as he listens to you, his hands are clasped together to avoid fidgeting, but he hasn’t noticed that his leg is rapidly bouncing up and down to compensate  on that field.

“But even with all that I just keep thinking that it just makes sense, you know? You and me together.”

He looks up at you and his eyes are glowing with hope.

“I… have been in love with you for such a long time and I feel like the longer that time goes by, the harder it is to bear it. So I want to jump in full force. Who cares if it doesn’t work?”

He smiles bright now, he even tries to bite his lip to contain it from looking so absurdly stupid, but he doesn’t. He looks just as excited and ready to do this as you do.

“We’ve already been through the worst case scenario and we managed to salvage and make it even better, so I think that even if this doesn’t end up being a bad idea… we’ll be able to stay together anyway.”

And the room falls back into silence, but this one it not overwhelming, the atmosphere feels a lot more hopeful and excited. Tom is just looking at you with a smile on his face and you are looking straight back, feeling anxious about the uncertainty of what is supossed to happen now.

At that moment, Tom stands up and walks towards you, never breaking the eye contact. He extends his hand for you to take it and stand up, so now you’re facing each other, mere inches away, you’re so close you can see the little freckles that decorate the bridge of his nose, and looking in his eyes you can see that he has tiny speckles of darker brown around in his irises.

“I’m gonna kiss you now, is that okay?” he tells you, voice barely audible, you doubt anyone else would’ve been able to hear it, but that makes it so indulgently intimate, so insead of nodding, you decide to say yes in an equally low volume even though you’re the only two people in the house, you want this moment to be yours and for it to stay only in your own tiny bubble.

He smiles before slowly leaning in, time goes painfully slow, but you’re almost unbothered about that, you want to cherish the moment as much as you can. He stops when his lips are barely brushing yours, so you take that last step and lean to seal the remaining space between you two.

You had been holding hands until now that his hands want to move to your waist, but you need something to keep you leveled, cause everything is spining so you place yours on his forearms. Kissing Tom made you feel so stupid. Why did it take you so long to do this? This is clearly where you had to be all this time. His lips feel like coming back home after a long and miserable day, he feels like home. This moment feels like putting in the finishing piece in the puzzle and feeling like all that you went through was worth it, because it gave you this. and that is all that matters.

...

Tagging some people to avoid the flop: @caeruleum-in-caritate-lupus, @softstarkk, @peterparkerbabyy, @dottirose, @legit-fandom-trash, @carostar2020, @appreciating-chase-brody, @mvmakki @madmadmilk @hollandrecs @starksparker @sunshinehollandd, @thatswhaticallfanfiction​, @rachaeldonnaspiteri1​, @writing-appreciation​, @allieandcoffee​, @ladythena​, 

[ratnco]

How to Kill a Great Film in 2021

Good Films die every day in Hollywood. Contracts are written and thrown away, writers can be hired and fired as fast as old drafts can be thrown away and rewrites can be made days before production. And when that doesn’t stop a project from being a success, Producers can cut funding at the second to final lap around the track, locations can change, or in more recent cases, the entire world can change. 

But let’s pretend this pandemic isn’t currently still in effect and fast forward to 2023, when cinemas are open again (sadly not for the Cinerama Dome) and a new movie is released once a week and regardless of how much we enjoy it, we get to talk about it. In this fantasy land, let’s talk about the 5 ways you can kill a good movie before, while, or after Production…

Relationship between Director and Producer

Whenever the release of a certain cut of a film that isn’t what the Director intended on releasing makes its way to Theatres, the thing that comes to most people’s minds is ‘Studio Interference’. If you’re an aspiring filmmaker, writer or just a fan of Cinema in general, you’ve heard all of your favourite Filmmakers talk about how much they hate their Producers, you hear horror stories about the un creative old rich man trying to be creative, forcing their bad ideas onto a project and thinking they have creative control because they’re funding it. And a lot of those stories are true, but is that really all? Are Studios really that mean? Even so, there was still a moment where the Producer sat down with the Director and said ‘I like your project, let’s make it.’ So they can’t be that terrible. 

The truth to this problem lies at that meeting. Whatever the problem is that the studio, Director or Crew will find themselves knee deep in down the road, its source will be born on the desk where that meeting takes place. The Producer may have bad, unoriginal ideas and is just out to make bank on your project, and you may be an unknown indie-filmmaker just trying to find an outlet for your talented voice, but as different as these two forces are, they need each other to survive. A Producer needs a film to be successful in every theatre in the country in order to keep their business alive, and the Filmmaker needs to successfully capture their vision onto screen so they can share it with audiences around the globe, and that won’t happen without Studio Funding, and the Film won’t be made without a Filmmaker. 

So what happens if you don’t get along, if the Producer changes their mind on the casting for the main character, or the third act of the script? Do you just say ‘Yes’ or ‘Fuck off!’? It’s up to the Filmmaker, but either answer won’t produce a good Film. 

Another thing you’ll probably find in common with any Director whose movies have suffered a great deal of box office failure to what they claim is Studio interference, is that they hate producers, they say mean things about them during interviews and they establish bad relationships with Hollywood, and more often than not, their line up of upcoming projects grows thinner and thinner as the years go by. 

A Filmmaker shouldn’t be surprised when they have a hard time getting their films made when this is how they treat the people funding them. As attached as you are to the movie you’re making, getting your film properly released involves your key role in a game that must be played, and played extremely well. If you have a disagreement with somebody, is the most wise next step to scream in their face? No. If you’d like somebody to see your point of view, it’s done only by a genuine back and forth dialogue, allowing both parties to level with one another, acknowledging each other’s perspectives and reaching a common goal they can both agree on. 

A Filmmaker can still receive these requests and still say no and still have a great relationship with their Producers, it all comes down to the trust you establish with your collaborators, and yes, they are collaborators. 

Not Getting Final Cut

Reason number two is exclusively caused by reason number 1; Getting the Final Cut for your film means that you alone have creative control over what the version of the movie you’ll one day be showing to audiences will look like. If you’re passionate about how you're going to eventually show your story to an audience, this is pretty important, as failure to do so will result in a version of your film reaching audiences that you did not play much of a role in. 

Nobody wants somebody to take something they’ve made and turn it into something else entirely. If you’d like to see a prime example of this, watch Natural Born Killers. One of the most talked about Tarantino films isn’t even really a Tarantino film. ‘You don’t fuck with my material’, Quentin Tarantino told Oliver Stone when handing over his original script, to which Oliver and his team responded by taking his characters and plot and flipping it on its head, creating a new film that doesn’t even come close to resembling what Tarantino originally wrote, to which Tarantino responded by requesting his name be taken off of the writer’s credits.

How the Director Controls a Set. 

When a Film is made, hundreds of people are involved other than the Filmmakers, Producers and their cast, there’s also a massive crew who must be considered. If you’re a Director, all of these people are working for you, which means you’re also responsible for feeding them, managing how fast or how slow they work, and their overall mindsets while making a movie and if you at any point assume that these decisions play a key role in the result of the final product, just walk into any retail store and see what happens when a Staff is treated poorly by its managers. 

I’m glad I brought up Quentin Tarantino, because the Writer/Director has a very interesting rule on all of his sets: No Cellphones. At the door of a Tarantino set, a ‘Checkpoint Charlie’ will retrieve your device and give it back to you at the end of the day or in case of emergency. On Top of that, there are speakers planted on set, blasting music, chosen by Tarantino for the cast and crew to listen to while working. What results is a very chatty cast and crew, forced to engage each other in between takes or set ups, rehearsing lines and enjoying and embracing the atmosphere rather than trying to escape it. QT also has another very interesting rule: No Sleeping. But breaking this rule won’t result in death, only something worse… Floating around the internet is a photo of Brad Pitt and other Cast members of past Tarantino Films with a giant purple Dildo held against their sleeping faces on set. Morale is key. 

Marketing

When shooting's wrapped, editing is almost complete, and everyone involved is very excited and thrilled that the release of their movie has met and maybe even exceeded expectations, now it’s time to release it. But to make sure that goes smoothly, you’ll need to advertise it so that people will know about it. 

Which means it’s time to make your trailer. Making a trailer involves just as much writing as the birth of the Final Draft of your Screenplay.. The Filmmaker has a chance here to control how the future audience of their movie will perceive their story, how they absorb it and how they will use that information to make a decision on whether or not they’ll leave their house to go see it. 

Here’s another place where studio interference may come into play. Say you’ve got a 3 hour long Western Drama that you’re trying to advertise, but the studio says that since this is a slightly more niche genre of cinema, and given the runtime it would be more wise to make the trailer feel rather fast paced and action packed, containing loud and fast music and sounds of gunshots and screaming! That way when people at home view it, they’ll feel excited, their hearts are racing because you've tapped into a very common human emotion that everybody on the planet could respond to: excitement. 

Sure, this approach may sell a lot of seats on opening night, but what will the rest of opening weekend look like? Chances are, pretty blique. Because your Western Drama may indeed be a beautifully executed masterpiece filled with tension and tear jerkers, but the problem you’ll now face is that all of the people who went to see your movie left their houses because they’re big fans of high octane action films and that’s exactly what they were expecting when they came to see your movie. But that’s not what they got, so now they’re upset. 

One thing that a lot of Producers today won’t admit is that a Film may not be for everybody, and that’s okay. Because rather than marketing to a broad selection of people who may or may not like your movie, your Audience will do a better job at championing your Film if you chose to only Market to the people who will want to go see it. Even if these numbers are fewer, if those people really enjoy your movie, they’ll do the rest of the marketing for you, which will get you an even bigger fanbase, which can maybe even turn into a cult following. The long term success of what you release will have a major effect on your ability to control future releases. The battles you fight now will win you the war of your career as a filmmaker. 

As frustrating, controlling and sometimes crazy Hollywood can be to its Talent, at the end of the day, it's only an outlet for voices looking to speak out, it’s a malleable mechanism used by all of us, and without us it wouldn’t survive and vise versa, so we coexist. Any Film can be a great Film, but aspiring talent may not like to hear that talent will only put words on a page or a subject in frame, the true impact of what you create comes down to something as simple as knowing how to talk to people who aren’t like you, a method also referred to as ‘empathy.’ 

By Ezra Crittenden