#i mean i don't want to be at a club but the sentiment is still there

[misfortunegirl]

gonna make an anti my workplace blog

[theblacklewinsky]

Note: getting off these drafts. btw i heard kelvin's next 😮‍💨

DILEMMA. | Aaron Pierre.

Rich! Terry Richmond x Black! Female Reader.

Warnings: MDNI!! this story is 18+ with depictions but not limited to; sexual content ( fingering (fem receiving), penetrat!on (unprotected p in v, don't do that!), water sports, slapping/hitting, degradation), extreme language (cursing, use of b-word and others.) angst, guilt (you're a cheater, bitch) slight daddy kink if you squint. Not proofread. Terry referred to as Terrell.

Summary: in which an engaged woman and a rich man fall into a heavy affair, she's hesitant.

i be so in love with your girlfriend,

and she loves it too, and i love it too

when we rendezvous, we get comfortable.

"yeah, I miss you too," you cooed softly into the phone, your stomach churning at how honest your voice sounded despite your despicable actions.

You probably would've meant it if it were any other day, if you were any other place. Maybe if you were actually in London, like you told your fiancé you'd be before you landed in Toronto, you'd mean it. But every time you came back to this country—the city rather, you never meant it.

Your truths given to another man all at once, that you had no choice but to lie to the man you'd planned to spend the rest of your life with. You looked at the blinging engagement ring on your left hand and grimaced. You halfway listened to the man muttering on the other end of the phone and half of your attention, scoured through your head as you paced the small area of the hotel balcony you were standing on.

"Alright, babe," he hummed on the other line, "just wanted to make sure you landed alright, I love you."

You shuddered at how genuine he sounded. You loved him back too—but even you battled with that sentiment, you had another man making his way up to the hotel room in a country you weren't even supposed to be in.

Maybe if you'd forgiven him for all those mistakes he made over the course of your relationship—maybe if you went to counseling like your parents and friends advised you to you wouldn't be sneaking off on the love of your life.

"I love you too, baby," you feigned a smile, hoping that he could hear how genuine you tried to be, "can I call you back later? Everyone's checking in right now."

He subtly agreed with you on the other end, telling you to call him back later when you settled in before ending the call. Thank god for your job. Had you not been a flight attendant, this shit probably would've been a little harder to pull off.

That was the issue though, is that all this shit was getting harder to pull off. You loved your fiance, sure, but you were in love with Terrell. And that was never supposed to happen.

None of this was supposed to happen.

Six months ago you were supposed to go on a quick girls trip with your homegirls. Nowhere too far, but nowhere too close. So it was decided upon on Toronto. You'd been to Toronto countless times before on layovers and international flights, which is how you knew about how lively the city was. You and a few of your favorite coworkers leaving the hotel on the few nights you spent there, hitting up the clubs and after hour bars.

But you weren't supposed to meet Terry.

There you and your homegirls went, all strutting through Revival as if it wasn't the biggest club in Toronto. You'd been here once before, briefly with a few coworkers, but you still gawked how lovely it was. Looked straight out of a Vegas strip catalogue, and who owned that very busy, popular club? Terrell indeed.

Having drinks being sent to you and your homegirls section. And not just little shots—you had a bottle of Louis XIII sent to your table by a gorgeous bottle girl, you and your homegirls gaped at her. Who the fuck and how the fuck were yall about to pay for a $4,000 bottle of cognac? But she set your fears aside, claiming that it on the house, and was from the boss.

You and your homegirls bristled in happiness after that. Where the fuck was the boss on your first visit here? But nevertheless, you chalked it up to the people of Toronto being courteous to tourists. Up until you met Terrell on the dance floor. Oh, and you didn't fuck around when it came to that, you were two years fresh out of college, your party days were not behind you.

You thought he was simple club goer too, just finding you on the dance floor and making conversation, shouting in each other's ears over the music. He was handsome of course, eyes piercing, tall, full lips, dressed in nothing but designer. It wasn't until he asked you if you and homegirls liked the bottle of LOUIS XIII he sent to your section, that your slightly intoxicated mind put the dots together. You thanked him profusely, and told him how much all of you were enjoying his club.

And although he seemed happy to hear that, he seemed happier to know what exactly only you had planned after this. You'd been out the game so long you'd forgot what flirting looked like, but even you knew this was flirting. You told him about your Fiancé, and that seemed to slightly deter him (not really) but somehow you and your homegirls still managed to take turns hanging out the sunroof of his Mercedes Benz as he ripped through the streets of Toronto after the club closed.

And that was six months ago.

And within those six months you'd visited Toronto more times than you could remember, without coworkers, and without your homegirls, and simply with Terry.

At first it was fun. Harmless fun, you thought. Here you were, a man with far too much money fawning over you. You were far too loyal (at the time) to give him your number, and instead had given him your moderately sized instagram. There he damn near never missed a story, constant heart eyes, constant attention. Attention and flirting your man hadn't given to you since he courted you. That weakened you.

Before you knew it you were on constant first class flights from your city to Toronto, constant sex and low key outings were you and Terry's favorite pastimes when you did come for your brief visits.

But over the next few months you'd became invested. The little gifts had become more meaningful. Once just flowers, and cards and small designer items had become more than just materialistic and more like keepsakes. You cherished them. And although nothing had been concrete in your little affair, you assumed it was all through good fun. Here this man was, older, rich, single and fine—he could pick any single woman in Toronto, but he chose you. Engaged, committed. So maybe he knew he didn't have to commit?

You remembered the way he didn't even flinch when you told him you were engaged to be married, he simply just kept his lingering gaze on you and apologized. The conversation seemingly still seemed to flow, and he still asked you to ride with him afterward. You, not willing to leave your homegirls, and disrespect your engagement (at the time, slut) agreed, under the condition that your homegirls rode too.

Yet, here you were now. Riding him alone. And as bad as you wanted to cut it off, a part of you, bigger than you'd wanted to admit, didn't want to. You liked how free you felt with him, how natural and different things felt. How cherished you felt.

You hadn't even realized that he'd came in, finally, it was his hotel suite after all, paid and reserved for by him. But he was courteous enough to tell the Ritz Carlton front desk employees that his girlfriend would be arriving before him, securing you a keycard of your own.

"How long you got?"

You jumped at the sound of his voice shaking you from your own wandering mind, eyes flickering over to Terry leaning on the frame of the open sliding door. You understood his absence of pleasantries and greetings, y'all were way past that.



He looked so handsome though, per usual. He was always dressed to T's. Even now, black durag adorning his head, a black long sleeved Under Armor compression shirt enhanced his already perfect physique, a pair of matching compression pants under the mismatch Nike basketball shorts he wore. Or maybe he just made everything he wore look good.

"Two days," you said slowly hands gripping the railing of the balcony, averting your attention back out onto the view of downtown Toronto in front of you.

A small bout of silence stretched between the two of you, the air charged with a little bit of everything. Sexual tension, apprehension, passion—like always. But, your hesitance and distance added onto that, and Terry could feel that.

You sighed in contentment against him when he wrapped his broad arms around your waist, pressing your shorter frame into his from behind. His lips finding that sweet spot just behind your ear. "You good?" He mumbled against your skin, persisting kisses there.

You rested your head against his lowered shoulder, his face tucked into the crook of your neck as you hesitantly answered him, giving him a small "yes". To which he knew wasn't true.

And in his mind when you were with him, thinking was void. That's why he handled everything, from the travel, to the hotels, to the outings. He made sure he was your escape. He knew the wifely duties you had back in the states, cooking, cleaning, working—that's the shit your main man put you through. He didn't.

He could tell the night met you, you needed a well deserved break. You seemed tense from the moment he approached you, he literally watched it all melt away during the duration of your conversation, you were already pretty, too pretty. But you looked even prettier when you were relaxed. So, that's what he strived to see.

"What you thinkin' about, mama?" He hummed against your already hot flesh. "You know I don't condone that shit."

You laughed at how serious he sounded, prompting him to chuckle right behind you. You raised your shoulder from his head, craning your head up at his now lifted frame behind yours with furrowed brows, "you don't condone that? Me thinking?"

"You know that," he casually responded, "why you think I handle everything? You do that shit back home with that nigga. Here, I don't need all that." He mumbled before using his opposing hand to tap lightly against your temple, softly kissing your lips.

And that was the problem. Him handling everything. Not wanting you to think and enjoy your time together. That's what made you feel free, that's what had you feeling all types of feelings about him. But you couldn't voice that, just staring back up at him with that dazed stare you gave him every time he kissed you.

You didn't speak until he led you back into the spacious suite, back to the bedroom where the huge king bed was that you belly flopped on when you first arrived. You didn't speak until he started removing the Swarvorski pumps he'd bought you on your last visit, grasping your left ankle and lifting it up to his lips, pressing summer kisses up your calves. You teeth sinker into your bottom lip, watching him as he watched you. Everything else melted away for a moment. Just a moment though.

"Terrell," you huffed as your thoughts overcrowded your mind again, jerking your leg away from his lips, though it still remained secure in his grasp, "this is wrong." If only your fiancé hadn't called and ruined the very sexy mood you were in, you could do this. You would've done this.

Terry recoiled at the reference of his real name with you, and the fact that you were back with this again. He hadn't heard those three words up until the third month, and here you hear three months later singing the same tune again. He sat your leg down gently, getting up from his kneeled position on the floor. "Nah, don't start that," he firmly replied joining you on the bed in one swift motion. Pressing his lips against your non-responsive ones, trailing his kisses over to your cheek, jawline and then finally your neck before you pushed away from him.

"I'm serious," you muttered quietly, folding your arms over your chest, "I can't keep doing this to my fiancé, I'm about to get married in a few months. This shit is wrong, and you know that." You gave him a side glance, chewing anxiously on your bottom lip.

Terry sighed, his eyes on you in a near blank stare. This shit was tuning him out. Where was all this shit coming from again? "You came all the way out here to tell me that? What you sayin'?" He asked you, brows slightly furrowed as he looked over your solemn side profile.

You were silent for a moment, mind racing. You dropped your arms from their folded position, fiddling with your fingers and wringing them out in nervous jitters. "We can't do this...any more." You said slowly. You weren't strong enough to do this three months ago, but maybe now? Terry's brows now no longer furrowed, he looked at you with now a completely blank stare, almost like your words weren't toward him. He nodded slowly as you continued though. "But that doesn't mean that I don't wanna see you anymore—we can still be friends, I can still come see you sometimes." You foolishly said.

"Yeah?" Terry asked eyes trailing over your seated figure, hungrily. His hand didn't hesitate to retreat to your thigh, rubbing the thin material of your dress up your thighs. "We can be friends?"

Your eyes dropped from his gaze, to his wandering hands. Skin feeling hot all over again, you resisted the urge to close your eyes, not trusting yourself to speak you nodded slowly. Silly girl, really.

"Yeah?" He asked you once again, brow raising in mock surprise. "You sound so sure, mama. How can we be friends and I can't even keep my hands off of you?" His hands trailing up, up, till they got to the waistband of your pretty images, his long digits slipping inside.

You huffed as soon as his middle finger started circling your hard clit, eyes fluttering closed as you fought to give him a response in return, "you'll learn," you huffed through his subtle, teasing on your clit.

He laughed in response to your statement, "you know that shit ain't true. Don't even know why you fightin' this shit to be honest," he coyly responded, finger sliding up and down slowly from the hood of your clit down to your entrance before slowly slipping his finger inside of you, feeling how snug you felt around him. He mocked your moan of pleasure, watching as your head fell against his shoulder, a small whimper slipping past your lips.

"It's wrong, can't do this, you 'bout to get married," he repeated your phrases back to him, tone patronizing, "but this pussy so wet for me," he mumbled pressing a kiss to your forehead, resting his lips there before slipping another finger in, eyes darting between your expression and his hand in your panties.

Fingers curling and pushing so deliciously deep, your brows furrowed as you gasped sharply, a soft pretty moan following right after. Terry persisted his soft kisses against your forehead as he continued his assault with his fingers, pace picking up ever so slightly, sounds of your sticky arousal coating his fingers filled the spacious bedroom. You nodded your head at the immense pleasure you felt, soft gasps slipping past your lips with every thrust, "yes, yes, yesss," you chanted to nothing in particular, eyes squeezed shut as your hands instinctively wrapping around his working wrist.

His free hand lazily knocking them away, almost as if you were disturbing him. You whined, feeling his fingers increase in speed, the sound of nothing but your arousal filling your ears as your moans and chanting became silenced behind your quickly approaching orgasm.

Terry took note of your shallow breathing, frozen figure and agape mouth, pressing another soft kiss to your forehead, "there we go," he mumbled against your skin, "cum. Cum for me," he rushed out, fingers slipping out of you to rub in rapid, vigorous circles against your clit. Juices spurting out of you seemingly on command. "Gimme all that shit, stop playin' wimme." He hummed grabbing your slackened jaw, fingers still effortlessly working against you, juices still squirting out of you wildly. Capturing the moans you were finally able to let out right into his mouth.

He didn't stop kissing you, or his lewd actions with his finger until he was sure you had finally rode out your orgasm, trembling and all. He slipped his hand out of your panties, fingers dripping in your essence as you both watched. "Look at that," he mumbled, "came so fuckin' hard." He said before rubbing his fingers against your parted, swollen lips, before slipping them inside your wet mouth. Fingers fucking your wet mouth and throat as he watched, teeth sunken into his bottom lip looking at you with hungry eyes at you tasting yourself.

He slipped his fingers out of your mouth all at once, immediately slapping them against the seat of your nose soaked panties. "Can't make you do that if we just friends."

You hadn't got a chance tip properly take off any of your clothes. He didn't give you a chance. Your dress pushed up above your exposed titties, bra hanging lazily off of one arm, panties pushed to the side. He was so hungry to ravage you, almost like if he'd given you a chance to undress you could change your mind. You were a lost cause as soon as he got you to that bed tbh.

"Stop playin' wimme," he looked up at you, face stern, a stern look in his eyes, hand slapping against your left ass cheek with a hard force, leaving a lasting sting behind you would've cried at hadn't you been so turned on, a needy moan leaving your lips as you slumped against him, "ride that dick right."

You whimpered as he pushed you back, your hands grasping both of his shoulders as you stabilized yourself on the tips of your toes before lifting and slowly lowering yourself onto him, you didn't dare take all of him, what you were taking was just enough, hitting that spot that you liked so much. You kept this up for as long as you could, avoiding his impatient glare.

"Yeah, you playin' with that dick," he mumbled irritancy clear in his tone, both hands gripping either sides of your fleshy hips forcing you down onto him, the stretch coming with that perfect sting, the force of him filling you hurt so good, a guttural moan erupted from you, eyes glazing over as you stared down at him with parted lips, "you know who you with, ride that shit how I like."

The casualty in his tone was abstract to the dirty things he was saying to you, that alone had you leaking all over him. Your whimpers and moans fell into synchronization with the creaking bed, squelching of your pussy and your skin slapping together as you took all of him. Terry's grunts and groans matching yours, his eyes averting back and forth between your pleasurably contorted expressions to where you met at the base of his dick. You felt your self started to slink against his upright figure, arms wrapping around his neck as you buried your face in his neck muffling your audible moans as you continued your rushed pace.

But he had to see you. Had to watch all the pretty faces you made when he made you take him deep like this. Both his hands grasped your torso, lightly pushing you away from him, halting your movements causing him to furrow his brows. "I ain't say stop, keep ridin' that dick," he affirmed, sending another sharp slap to your ass. You whined at the sting, starting to bounce again, ignoring the aching in your calves. Him filling you up once again making your mind a fuzzy mess.

"Just like that," he groaned, looking up at you leaning forward to catch one of your pierced mounds into his mouth, lips latching on softly, the sight making you huff through a moan your own eyes fluttering closed as you continued riding him. He pulled back with a loud pop, eyes watching you intently. "Look at you, fuckin' yourself on my dick like this. But you done with me, yeah?" He asked voice low and uneven as you sunk yourself down to his sticky base where you met, a shallow breath slipping past your parted lips. "You done with me?" He asked a bit louder, his eyes boring into your soft ones.

You could barely answer, mind fuzzy as you fucked your self into an empty oblivion. Eyes closing and then promptly opening, only to roll back. His hand grabbed your jaw roughly, making your brown eyes flutter open, a series of heavy breaths slipping past your lips as you tried to focus on his gaze. "Say the wrong thing and watch I don't let you cum on this dick, you heard me."

"I'm not done," you managed to slur out, voice small and breathy as your hands wrapping around his wrist, for leverage at your now burning knees.

Your quiet response obviously not satisfactory to Terry. "You wanna cum on this dick?" He asked you, still holding onto your slackened jaw.

"Yesss!"

"So let me hear you say that shit. You done with me?" He repeated more firmly.

"Im not done, daddy!" You cried out shaking your head in his grasp vigorously, the tears burning behind your now shut eyes threatening to spill over as you continued trying to fight off your quickly approaching orgasm.

"I know," he cooed, pressing open mouthed kisses all over chest, "I know, baby. You love fuckin' this dick don't you?" He muttered against your skin. Hand dropping from your jaw to join his other in wandering all over your body. You felt so hot, everywhere. Everything felt so good and like too much all at once.

"Yessss!"

"Yeah you do," he hummed through a moan of his own, "keep fuckin' me just like that. Such a nasty lil bitch, keep goin," he groaned.

You opened your tear filled eyes, soft and unfocused as you gazed down at him almost pathetically, "wanna cum daddy. wanna cum so bad," you whimpered.

"m' almost there, baby," he rushed out, eyes focused on the mess you were currently making on him, breathing ragged, "keep goin."

You could tell exactly how close he was when he started thrusting into you, luckily for you anyways, your knees were burning, calves aching, you didn't know how much longer you could've kept up.

"Oh my god," you repeated over and over through a series of heavy breaths and moans, your eyes low, vision blurred as tears ran down your soaked cheeks, "I'm gonna cum! Daddy im gonna—"

"Cum," he breathlessly mumbled, lips parted, "cum on my dick. Let me cum in you, mama."

"Cum in me daddy!" You rushed out, mind completely fuzzy and blank. "I'm cumming! I'm cumming!" You frantically announced, slouching against Terry's broad figure as he continued his sloppy, hard thrusts groaning and grunting as he filled your sensitive pussy with his warm cum. Your ears muffling the sounds of him announcing his orgasm, late of course.

Soft kisses covered your neck and chest as you came down from your orgasm, his strokes now slow and relaxed. But as you came back down you noticed your horrible mistake.

"Cum in me daddy!" Your words echoed in your now stable mind. Canada had to sell plan B's, surely. Right?

Hope you enjoyed <3

tag list: @avoidthings @megamindsecretlair @nickidub718 @keehendrixx @planetblaque @blowmymbackout @b2hotty @partypoison00 @grooveoftiro @nahimjustfeelingit-writes @dxddykenn @motheroffae @kaylaahisthebestest- - @hello-therree @simplyzeeka

[stawberrypimpsimp]

Alastor x Reader: The Radio Demon Enjoys a Treat

Word Count: 2,321

You were sick of working for Valentino. He was an asshole, a terrible demon. He has you working non stop but at least you aren't his favorite toy like Angel. You didn't have it as rough as him, he had it bad, but you two formed a quick bond. The mutual hate and restraints Valentino had brought you closer. Angel was able to escape Vals grasp just a bit. He moved out to a hotel, called the Happy Hotel, he said. You envied him. How you wish to escape the clutches of that monster.

Angle cared for you deeply. You wanted to ask him if there was room for you in this hotel. If you could have the temporary escape he gets. You decided to meet up with him at Consent, a sex club.

“Hey there sweet tits!” Said Angle walking up to you at the bar.

“Angle! How’s being a dick sucking slave going for you?” You said laughing

”Oh its great.. Vals got me doing gang bangs back to back. Fuck Im tired!!” Angle said, waving the bartender over for a drink.

“Two twink cosmos”

Next thing you know your 8 shots in and grinding on some random ass sinner. You forgot to talk to Angle about the hotel, to drunk to even remember what the night was about. Out of the corner of your eye you see Val. What the absolute fuck?! Can’t I get away from this sex fiend pimp. You dance your way over to Angel nudging him and slyly pointing out towards Val.

”Ugh.. I don't want to deal with this right now.. Let’s fucking go.” Angel says

You nod in agreement following his lead out, luckily you both sneak past without being seen.

“See ya tomorrow Angel!” You say walking away waving you hand and stumbling into a pole.

”Look youre way too drunk to get home and I'm pretty drunk as well. The hotel is right around the corner. You can stay the night there! I mean Charlie would be happy to meet ya.” Angel says grabbing your hand.

“Thanks Angel I owe ya one.” You say stumbling along his side.

He wasn’t nearly as drunk as you but hey at least you were able to let go for a bit and enjoy yourself.

You both walked up to the hotel, and oh boy was it a bad stay. Extremely disheveled and musty. Angel opened the doors for you and you both walked in. Inside wasn’t as bad as outside you guess but absolutely not what you were expecting when Angel talked about residing in a hotel.

A blonde girl in a red suit comes up to you grabbing your hand and shaking it profusely.

“Hello! My name is Charlie, welcome to the Happy Hotel!” She gets all sentimental and teary all of a sudden. “Angel, I can't believe you brought someone here!”

She was loud, a lot to take in but hey it helped you sober the fuck up but obviously still head ache inducing.

“Uhhhh Hello?” You said with confusion.

“Okay Okay let me show you around! Here we work on rehabilitation and bettering yourself. Let me Introduce you to everyone!!” Charlie said, overly excited.

”Okay sooo you already know Angel! So that introduction is off the list.. Hmm.. OH OH THIS THIS RIGHT HERE IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GIRL IN ALL OF HELL! VAGGIE! She is my girlfriend and here to help” The blonde demon said with pure excitement and love. She grabbed the hands of a girl with gray skin and hair that resembles moth wings.

”Hi.. Uh yes I’m Vaggie nice to meet you.” She says with an awkward smile.

Once Charlie stops looking and admiring Vaggie for a little longer she takes my hand dragging me over to what you can describe as a bar. It most certainly does not fit in with the color and decor of the place but you kept you mouth closed.

“This is Husker he is the bartender! He comes off all grumbly and grumpy but I swear he has a soft spot!!”

Husk who appears to be a cat like creature with a theme of playing cards to him. He looks up from the glass he is pouring then looks back down grumbling to himself. Oh well guess grumbly was the perfect word to describe him.

“Hello…?” You say hesitantly. He only gives you a look up again and a nod taking a swig of the glass of booze he just poured.

You look over and see a small little creature running with a knife stabbing bugs. You cant take your eyes off her as she takes the knife and impales a bug. Ew but at least keeping the place.. clean..?

”That over there is Nifty. She is the maid and in charge of keeping the place tip top shape.” Charlie says smiling avoiding watching her stab a few more bugs.

”Do you know any bad boys? You're just a girl.” The short girl said, wide eyed in excitement.

“Sadly yeah, work with a whole bunch of them but thats a topic for another time..” You say looking down trailing off your sentence.

Thankfully that stopped the conversation between you and her and she went back to stabbing bugs. Out of nowhere a black shadow witha green smile appears next to you forming into the shape of a demon. A handsome one at that. Tall and lanky in a striped red suit, a cane resembling a microphone right at his side.

“Well hello dear, I am Alastor the host of the hotel, an absolute pleasure to meet you!.” The demon says charmingly with a grin so wide it almost reaches his eyes, but his voice was off. It sounded like his voice was being broadcasted over a radio.

“Oh, hello?” You say a bit nervously as this man just came out of nowhere.

He grabs your hand bending down giving it a soft kiss. Everyone stopped and looked mouth open and shocked.

”What the fuck freaky face?! You ain’t never done that before.” Said Angel with a surprised look and then a laugh.

Charlie clasped her hands together and gave a long aweeee. You had no idea what was going on why everyone was acting so weird.

“Heh?” You say loudly looking confused and into Alastor glowing red eyes as you try to study what the schlock is about over him.

”Well I've never seen him be so… so gentle?” Charlie said still in awe with hearts in her eyes.

“Charlie my dear, I am simply just being a good host!” Alastor says keeping his smile wide and letting out a chuckle.

“Suuuureeeeee…!” Charlie says teasingly as if she could convince Alastor that she believed him.

“Now let me show our new guest around the hotel. Shall we?” He says in his static voice putting his arm out for you to hold onto.

You look at Angel and he gives you a wink and big grin. Looking at Alastors arm you grab it and begin to walk with him. Using his other hand holding his cane he starts to point out where everything is giving you a tour.

“..and hear darling we have my room!” Alastor says with a smirk.

You feel your face go a bit red. Why is he showing me HIS room?! You deal with horny men all day but this demon is getting you flustered. He opens the door letting you walk in first. There was a dark forest at the hall way point leading to who knows how far. Although it was beautiful. You stand here admiring it till you feel something behind you.

Alastor has his hand on your waist the other on your thigh. Slowly he slides his hand to your upper thigh, leaning into the crook of your neck.

”Well yes it's quite true I put everyone in awe over my affection, but I just simply couldn't stop myself. You are quite a cat my dear. Let me show you how a lady like you should be treated.” Alastor said with his radio voice but in a cooing tone.

Your face goes absolutely red. Shivers go up your spine all the way to the tip of your head. You could melt in his arms with how gently he is touching you. Shaking your head slowly you give a soft nod not even able to get out a word.

He glides his hand up your thigh to your crotch, he takes his hand and slowly starts rubbing it back and forth applying just enough pressure to have a decent amount of friction. The hand on your waist turns into him gliding his finger tips up your stomach making you do a soft gasp. He then reaches your chest and cups your breast. He slowly massages it in the same pace that his hand is going at. His face now buried in your neck kissing it softly. Then you feel a sharp pain letting out a small yelp. He lifts up his head slightly and whispers in your ear with a low radio tone.

”My apologies dear, I couldn’t help myself with how tender your skin is.”

He goes back to your neck licking it softly tending to the wound he left you. You didnt mind, it felt good and exciting. He moved his hand now to the rim of your pants.

“May I show you a good time darling?” He says in a static coo well running his fingers around the rim of your pants playing with them.

You give a simple nod. How does he have you in his clutches so easily? He takes his hand and slips it in your pants.

“Oh my, look how soaked you’ve become.”

He takes his hand and begins to feel your pussy. Running his fingers around your lips then pressing a finger on your slit going up and down slowly well his thumb rubs your clit.

God damn what the hell. You could hardly think, just focusing on all the sensations Alastor is causing you to feel. Your body entranced by the places he’s touching.

“Bed..?” Is all you managed to get out with a moan. You've been holding the moans in your throat as if they were trapped and couldn’t escape but that wasn’t because you weren’t feeling good it was because you were feeling so good. He raises his head to your ear once again.

”As you please my dear.” He says in a deep tone that broadcasted through your ears.

He removes his hands and swoops you off your feet. Holding you in his arms bridal style then setting you gently on his bed. You keep your eye on him, staring into his deep glowing stare.

“Let’s get these off of you shall we?” He says witch a chuckle.

Taking his finger he rips the seem of your pants making them fall off, now on to your panties. You look at him with lust as he returns the same look.

“Now be quite we dont want the other curious of the noise my sweet doe.” He says in his charming radio voice.

He gets on his knees and sets your legs on his shoulders. Alastor begins to kiss your inner thighs. Softly sucking on your skin then gliding his tongue up a bit to the next piece of flesh he is going to tend to. Unspoiled another sharp pain is felt. You knew what it was of course, but oh did it feel good. Between the bites, kisses, and licks he makes his wary up to your pussy. Extremely wet all ready for him to dine on. He wrapped his arms around your thighs digging his hands into them and leans his face in your aching wet crotch, not licking it just yet. He lets out a few heavy breaths causing you to shiver in delight, finally he takes a lick of your slit. His nose nuzzling your clit. He takes his tongue from the back of your pussy gliding it between your lips then finishing it off with a flick of his tongue on your clit. Quickly you took your hands covering your mouth choking back a moan you so desperately want to let out.

“Oh dear.. it appears you may need some help staying silent.”

Next to you a black hole appears on the bed and a tentacle slithers its way out. Black and slick it wraps around your mouth muffling the sounds you cant help but let out.

“Back to business..”

He thrust his head back between your legs licking your increasingly wet slit. Moans attempt to leave your lips but they cant. Arching your back indicating your about to cum he pulls away just barely enough to where you can only feel the tip of his lips.

”Not yet dear” He says smirking.

Damn that smile never leaving his face, that old times radio voice, he is driving you crazy.

Once he knows you won’t reach your peak just yet he wraps his lips around your clit. He starts sucking on it softly, nibbling on it unlike his hard bites, using his tongue sliding back and forth providing flicks. As he does so he slips two fingers inside of you. Dear god. Yes god, this is pure bliss. Alastor begins to pump his fingers in and out of you, now adding a curl to his fingers touching your sweet spot. He continues to pull them in and out. You arch your back and feel sweet realese. You cum on his fingers, him still sucking your clit and slowing down his pumps letting you ride out your orgasm. He pulls out his fingers and licks them clean.

”Im not usually one for sweets but this was a dessert I deeply enjoyed.” Alastor said standing back up looking over you taking in what he will now claim as his darling doe.

[genderqueerdykes]

Okay, so I've been a lesbian for a while and don't know some of the terminology, and I'm kinda confused on how men can be lesbians (specifically cis men). Mostly cause I've never heard anyone talk about it before, adding a long I also have a question. So could I still identify as a lesbian if I find myself attracted to men or masc presenting people? I've seen people say you can't so yea! (Sorry if this doesn't make sense or if I came off as rude)

hello there!

the argument that lesbians can't be men is transphobic, intersexist, gender essentialist, exorsexist and a lot of other very exhausting and historically inaccurate ways. it has nothing to do with real lesbianism but rather rad fems and political lesbians online trying to turn the lesbian community into a "girls only" club where they can shit on men and be transphobic and toxic

people love to jump to the assumption that i'm taking about cis men first and foremost, which i'm not- although i genuinely don't care if a cis man identifies as a lesbian i'm not a cop and you shouldn't be, either. we all need to collectively kill the cops in our minds. no, this will not create an influx of "cishet men invading lesbian spaces." cishet men can literally already choose to identify as lesbians if they want to and they literally do not. most cishet men are lesbophobic and disgusted by irl lesbians and only find lesbianism attractive in porn. if cishet men wanted to lesbians, they already would be. also again, i'm not a cop, so it's not my business if a cis man does identify for any reason as a lesbian. if that concept makes one uncomfortable, they can choose to ignore that person.

this is not the conversation we're having, so it's best to realize that there's a far deeper issue here.

the people who tell you lesbians can't be men are specifically targeting butch lesbians, transmascs, ftm, trans men, trans male, bigender, multigender, genderfluid, genderqueer, and genderfuck lesbians. lesboys, boydykes, lesbians who are non binary, lesbians who don't have a gender, lesbians who are men only, lesbians who are two spirit, butches who are men. these are all people who have been in the lesbian community all along, and this is who is being targeted. anyone who tells you a lesbian cannot be a man is either a rad fem or someone who has been indoctrinated by one, or someone who is very confused and ill informed at best

butchphobia is heavily linked to this behavior. many butch lesbians are women and women only and that's a legitimate expression of butchhood, but MANY and i mean many butches throughout history have been transmascs and trans men, or have been men in other capacities, such as trans women who are also men, and other multigender people.

bigender people exist in every identity. id on't know why people conveniently love to just forget about this when it comes to the argument of lesbian men. it's not just you, i get this sentiment all the time. we need to realize that multigender people exist. we need to collectively accept that genderfluid and genderqueer and genderfuck people exist and they can be lesbians, too. many butch lesbians are literally men and it's not right to kick them out of the community. please remember that the "lesbians can only be women and only if they're cis and not Too Butch" mindset directly stems from lesbian separatism and political lesbianism. i'd suggest researching those topics, they were at their peak in the 1980s and 90's in the United States and caused a lot of damage that we're still seeing the ripples from

lesbians shouldn't have to get some kind of extra or approval to be men. i really just don't get this mindset. you have to ask yourself why this even matters to begin with. it doesn't. it's not harming anyone else for a lesbian to be a man. if you're not attracted to them you don't have to be. if you are attracted to them, it doesn't invalidate your lesbianism. bigender, multigender, non binary, genderfluid, genderfuck, gnc, intersex, trans, and other gender variant people shouldn't be banned from the lesbian community for no reason.

also i keep begging people to do so but please research the life and identity of Leslie Feinberg. zie was a polygender butch lesbian who did identify as a man. i repeat this phrase a lot but if you don't know who zie is, your knowledge of lesbian history of very limited. lesie was a very prolific activist for lesbian and trans rights, as well as many other important issues. leslie wasn't some random tumblruser or what have you, there are people who have existed well outside of the bounds of this website who have identified as lesbian men. this phenomenon is not new, it's not relegated to the internet, and it's not something that people should have never heard of before.

i suggest researching lesbian history outside of tumblr. i'm one of the few who isn't, but most of the popular bloggers in the lesbian community on here is proudly transphobic as fuck. when they say "I'M A LESBIAN, MEN DNI!!!!!!" they are PROUDLY showing their transphobia. a lesbian who is bigender, multigender, non binary, transmasc, genderfluid, and so on is trans. this is transphobia. this is lesbophobia. lesbians can be men whether or not it makes an individual comfortable. there are also trans women who are... also men. we can't keep allowing this to be a "threat". we are killing our own when we do this

i'm glad you took the time to ask. i get heated on this issue, so this is a rather passionate response because i'm just outright sick of people acting like the idea of a lesbian identifying a man is somehow unheard of. lesbians are well known for being some of the most genderfucked people in the queer community. we struggle with gender our entire lives due to the expectations and stressors placed on our shoulders, as well as who we are on the inside. it will never unheard of for lesbians to be genderqueer.

i hope this helps somewhat. if you have any more questions feel free to ask. i will continue talking about this until people understand that lesbian men are not a threat to anyone. manhood belongs in lesbianism whether or not that makes you or anyone else uncomfortable. it's an experience that will continue to happen no matter what people have to say in conjecture and theory- lesbian men will continue to show up to lesbian and other pride meetings. we will continue to talk and write about our experiences. and the world will keep turning as a result. the sun will rise again. and no one was hurt simply by the existence of some lesbians being men.

[ellewritesalright]

Nine Long Years - Part 1

Nikolai Lantsov x Rietveld!reader, Kaz Brekker x sister!Rietveld!reader (platonic)

Masterlist --- Part 2

Synopsis: After watching your brothers die, you found yourself working on the Volkvolny. In the many years since then, you somehow became the queen of Ravka while your brother somehow survived firepox and life in the Barrel, rising through its ranks. In disguise during a diplomatic trip with your husband Nikolai, you meet Kaz Brekker for what you think is the first time, only to find out that he is your long-thought-dead little brother.

Author's Notes: Hi Hello Hi! This is my first time publishing my writings so here goes nothing. I wrote this with the books in mind, though you could still imagine the characters from the show. In my head, this story takes place sometime between Crooked Kingdom and King of Scars. I have much more of this story written including more fluffy Nikolai content than the scraps in this chapter so I will post it if y'all want it (I'm talking about there's-only-one-bed content, mutual-pining-in-silence content, Nikolai being a sophisticated dumbass at times content; it's all great I assure you).

Warnings: Minimal Fluff, Much Angst, Jordie and Kaz's (not really tho) deaths in the past, mentions of panic attacks, mentions of firepox and the Hertzoon con, reader oscillating between super excited and absolutely devastated.

Word Count: 2,800

..........

NINTH YEAR

The Crow Club was a new establishment since you had last walked the streets of the Barrel many years ago. You could remember going past the front of the building on your way to the exchange, but you couldn't recall it being anything but vacant. Back then there were no tourists and gamblers crawling about the place like there were now. It was just as empty as the coffee shop where a dreadful man conned you and your brothers.

You tapped your fingers against the table. In your glass of kvas, you could see your false reflection. This voyage aboard the Volkvolny was the first time your face was tailored to appear unlike your own. At first, Tolya did not make the drastic differences that he employed with your husband; he made more subtle differences with you. Shifts in the eyebrows and the cheekbones, the reshaping of your jaw. Nikolai hadn't been convinced that you looked different enough to be safe, though, so the colour of your eyes and hair were changed and your nose was just slightly offset for extra measure.

Nikolai was staring at you now with the green eyes of Sturmhond. His appearance as the privateer did not make you uneasy, not in the way you assumed your altered appearance was making him, and you smiled as he squeezed your knee beneath the table.

You had met him first as Sturmhond, so you were used to the red hair and crooked nose. After many months at sea on an assortment of ships, you got a permanent spot on the crew of the Volkvolny. It was the ship's first time docked in the Ketterdam harbours, and its captain was a young scoundrel, or so your coworkers had said during the first week at sea.

"He looks too young to be captain of a ship. How did he get his money, eh?" A crewmate bristled as you stood on the deck. This man looked as weathered as some of the sails on the boats in the shabby fifth harbour.

"Heard he stole his wealth off a Zemeni gunsmith," another crewmate said.

"Yeah? Well, I heard he was a Ravkan mercenary who did contract killings for their king." The older one turned to you. "What do you think, kid?"

"I think that I don't care where he made his money as long as he pays my wages." You drew your eyes up from your knot. "Besides, you shouldn't believe everything you hear."

"A very wise sentiment, Rietveld," Sturmhond boomed from behind you.

He snuck up without a word, and now your crewmates stood wide-eyed as they stared at their captain. You turned to see him watching the others, a glint of amusement in his eyes.

"You might have heard I made my money in magical deer shit, but that doesn't mean it's true."

Then he peered at you with a smirk, called on the others to get back to work, and walked away.

Nikolai gave you that same look now, his gloved hand secure on your thigh. You knew the raised brow and quirked lips all too well. More often than not, the combination spelled trouble. Yet you supposed trouble wasn’t difficult to find in the Barrel. 

A bouncer approached your table and spoke only briefly, “Brekker will see you now,” before escorting your group across the floor of the gambling den.

Sturmhond entered first with you second and Tamar behind you. Your husband smiled as he looked towards a figure seated behind a desk. He approached diplomats, noblemen, and criminals in the same way, with charm, eloquence, and a warm smile. You held back your amusement at that thought, suppressing a smile of your own as you glanced around the room. The paintings and decor looked expensive, and you had to wonder how much of it was stolen. 

“The guy’s a ruthless thief and con,” Nikolai had said when he got home after meeting Brekker for the first time.

You were stuck in Ravka planning your wedding during his trip; it was a dreadful time, and you guilted Nikolai into explaining every little detail of his little journey across the True Sea.

“You might like him, though. He’s got more honour than the merchant council and the rest of those Barrel bosses combined.”

And now you were here in his office. The figure at the desk got out of his chair, and the movement caught your eye. The cheery expression on Sturmhond had not rubbed off on the man, and he stood with his features as hard as a rock. You examined his face, noted the scars that no doubt came from street fights and brawls in the dead of night, and then you looked at his eyes. There was something about them. The dark brown was something you had seen before, perhaps when you were first here in Ketterdam. You met so many people during that time.

When his stare fell on you your throat felt dry. He had the eyes of a calculating lynx, a predator about to ensnare his prey. You knew he was aware of Sturmhond’s true identity, but you weren’t sure if he would correctly assume your position in Ravka. You had only been the queen for a few months, and bills with your likeness had not yet been printed. Few people outside of Ravka could identify you, and fewer still could when you were tailored to fit your new sea-faring alias.

Still, his eyes made you uneasy. You knew them somehow, you just had to know them; but how?

“Tamar, Bos,” Sturmhond said, springing you from the trappings of Brekker’s eyes, “meet my associate, Kaz Brekker.”

There it was, and it hurt as much as being attacked by a volcra. You had taken blows to the gut that didn’t make you as sick as you felt now.

The pain was twofold. Firstly, when either of your dead brother’s names was mentioned you always felt a bitter pain in the pit of your stomach, an acidic burning that twisted your insides like a poison you would quickly succumb to. Your littlest brother was named Kaz, same as the Kaz before you. Seven years your junior, Kaz was too sweet for the cutthroat world around him. Back at the farm, you used to tuck him under your arm and read him stories so he would fall asleep. He was a bright and enthusiastic boy who always made sure to share his sweets with you, even if Da rarely bought them.

But the pain of hearing Kaz’s name was nothing compared to the crushing realization that this was him standing in front of you, all grown up, and very much alive. 

His birthday was last week, and you celebrated it alone with a moment of silence below deck of the Volkvolny. At that moment you thought to yourself how he would have been eighteen by now, how he could have attended the university and gotten a better education than anyone in your family ever had, how he could have had a full life if he didn’t succumb to the pox.

Yet here he was; eighteen and looking worn beyond his years, his life in the barrel undoubtedly having treated him with the cruelty it kept in vast supply. 

“Bos?” Sturmhond patted your shoulder. “Are you listening?”

You turned your attention to him. “I might have missed what you last said, could you repeat yourself?”

“Perhaps your friend should wait outside if she can’t pay attention,” Kaz suggested with a scowl. Was it really him? You had never seen Kaz make such a face at you.

“No,” you rushed to say. After almost nine years of thinking he was dead, you needed every second you could get with your brother. “It was only a momentary lapse. Please, continue.”

They did, and you tried your hardest to listen. You caught snippets of what they were saying, enough to piece things together if your mind strayed, but you were only giving half of your attention. Your eyes kept wandering off course, studying the boy you thought to be dead.

He stepped up to a map on his wall as he spoke with your husband, and you didn't miss the limp in his step. Was that something he got a long time ago or was it new? Did he sustain it when he was taken by the reaper's barge? And how had he survived? You held him and Jordie as they died, but if Kaz was here before you, was Jordie alive too?

No, you shouldn't get your hopes up. And you shouldn't let your mind race with questions like these. Surely you could approach him, ask him whatever you could think of. But you were frozen as you took in the revelation. There was no way you could approach him with it now--you would be incoherent.

Still, as you sat there you had no other thought in your head besides the boy you'd played parent to after Da died.

It was a miracle that Kaz was standing in front of you, breathing and with the flush of life in his healthy–if a little pale���skin. It was a miracle, and a miracle was more than you thought your family could ever have after all the misfortune you'd suffered. But if there was anyone who deserved a miracle, it was sweet little Kaz.

..........

The meeting finished, Kaz dismissed you from his office, and you felt the disappointment sink in. There was no reason for Kaz to recognize you while you were tailored, but you still hoped he would somehow know anyways. He was your brother, and he knew you better than many. Though perhaps, like him, you had changed as well. It had been almost nine years, after all.

Either way, you followed Nikolai back to the Volkvolny, elation in your step, and nervous dread splashing in your stomach. Nikolai was a few paces ahead--busily engaged in conversation with Tolya--while Tamar kept step beside you, seemingly in silent argument with herself every time you glanced at her. As you reached the harbour, she finally spoke up.

"Bos," she started, maintaining your identity despite the absence of witnesses around you. "Your heartbeat has been erratic since you saw Brekker."

You gulped, a move you regrettably realized the heartrender would know of.

"It keeps speeding up like a racehorse then lulling below your usual beats per minute. In the meeting, I kept thinking you might pass out."

"I'm alright, Tamar," you assured her, though you felt your heart speed up a bit as you kept away the truth. "I feel better than I have in a while, actually."

"Is that so?" Her eyes were skeptical.

"It is."

She dropped the topic as you reached the Volkvolny. 

You went right to the captain's cabin, eager to have Nikolai to yourself so you could share the exciting–if not bizarre–news. You wasted no time stripping off your heavy coat and tugging off your boots. Nikolai would take his time as captain of the ship, checking with the crew to make sure everything was in shape before he joined you, so you sat down on the bed, face in your hands as you considered your evening at the Crow Club. 

"He's alive," you grinned into your palms. "My baby brother is alive."

The thought was all you could think of, and even as you heard Nikolai's boots coming down the hall, everything besides Kaz was so distant to you.

"The meeting went rather well, I think," Nikolai said as he shut the door behind him. He came to sit with you. "But you were very quiet all night. Are you alright, my love?"

"Better than alright."

"I'm glad to hear that. It didn't seem like that earlier; you looked like you'd seen a ghost."

You looked at Nikolai. "That's because I did." You played with the most ornate of his rings, bringing his hand to rest between yours. "I’ve told you about my brothers, Nikolai. Do you remember their names?"

"Yes, Jordie and… Kaz." He looked at you, realization dawning in his eyes. "You don't think–"

"I don't think, I know. It’s him, I just know it. He’s my baby brother, Niko." You grinned and flopped back onto the bed. It was firmer than the one in your palace suite, but you’d grown accustomed to the roughness again on this voyage after a few years away from this cabin. "Saints, I need to see him again."

Nikolai glanced away from you, silent for a moment as if in debate with himself. "My love, I don't think that’s a very good idea. I know Brekker, and he’s nothing like the stories you’ve told me of your brother. I think seeing him again--seeing how he’s changed--would only upset you."

You sat up again, staring directly into Nikolai’s eyes.

"What upsets me is that my husband doesn’t think I should reunite with the only family I have left," you scoffed.

"I know you want to see him, I'm just afraid you'll be disappointed."

"I thought he was dead, but now he's alive. There is no way he could disappoint me.” You grabbed your husband's hands, squeezing them gently as you faced your body towards him.  “He's alive, Nikolai."

He sighed. "People can die in many different ways, not only when they stop living."

"You think he's so vicious of a criminal that I would rather he be dead?"

"Well, no, I just…"

"You just what, Nikolai?"

"I don't want you to get hurt." He brushed his thumb over your knuckles. "I know the nightmares you used to get about your brothers, I know how helpless they made you feel. I’d hate for you to feel that way ever again.”

Your stare fell to his most gaudy ring. It sat in place of his usual wedding ring, which was safely tucked on a chain beneath his shirt just as your wedding ring rested on a chain beneath yours.

He wasn’t wrong about your nightmares. He’d seen you on your worst nights, held you close as you sobbed into his chest. He watched you in the depths of agony, your lungs on fire and your stomach knotted so tightly you probably wouldn’t feel a bullet tearing into your flesh. And although the nightmares weren’t as frequent or debilitating as they once were, you sometimes still woke up crying from a dream of two boys that deserved more from their short lives.

But there was nothing that would make you want to abandon Kaz again. This meeting was a chance to redeem yourself. You could make amends for not protecting Kaz or Jordie as you should have. You could hold Kaz and never part with him unlike when you let the bargemen roll your brothers’ bodies away. This was a second chance you wouldn’t give up.

“Nikolai,” you began, sturdy in your words, “I know you’re concerned for me, and I understand why, but this is something I have to do. I can’t walk away from this trip without as much as a word to my brother when I’ve thought him dead all this time. Even if it turns out that he isn't what I remember, at least I’ll get to speak with him again, to tell him I love him and that I’m sorry I couldn’t protect him.”

“The firepox wasn’t your fault,” he murmured. Nikolai often repeated this to you whenever you felt guilty or woke up trembling in the night.

“I know.” You rested your head against his shoulder. “I know, but I was still supposed to be the big sister; I was still supposed to keep them safe.” Peering up at him, you said, “I just hope he can forgive me.”

“Why would he need to forgive you?”

“Because I left him for dead in a place crawling with liars and cheats. Saints know what he went through without anyone around to care about him.”

You said this as though the saints deigned to look after anyone in the barrel. No higher power was seeing Kaz through his years here, you were sure of that.

“We can go to him again tomorrow,” Nikolai said. “But for now, we should rest.”

There was no way of knowing how Kaz would react when he learned who you were, but you stayed optimistic as you readied for bed. You imagined hugging him, holding him in your arms again for the first time in so many years. You’d exchange stories of your lives without each other. Perhaps he would be amused that you had somehow gone from a farmer’s daughter to a pirate to the queen of Ravka in your time apart; saints knew you were still a bit bewildered by it all.

You tossed and turned quite a bit, and you knew you were keeping Nikolai awake too, but you couldn’t help your excited mind. Eventually, you sidled up to your husband–who was ready to wrap his arms around you in an attempt to keep you still–put your head on his chest, and listened to the familiar pumping of his heartbeat.

Tomorrow could not come soon enough.

..........

A/N: Thanks for reading! Feel free to like, reblog, and comment if you want to read more! Otherwise, I hope you have a great day/night :)

Part 2

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

So, i don't know how you would react at this BUT, i just read all of your posts and i think you're really amazing while answering ask's, so i just thought it might be good to share with you a ( kind of? ) headcanon that i have about Silver.

Like, i don't know if it actually makes sense. And pardon me if there's any grammar erros, i'm quite bad at english.

BUT i just feel that he is pretty "incapable" of truly expressing himself, unless it's when his knight mode are on, but even in this mode, has some difficulties. ( and by incapable i mean he has some pretty relevant difficulties with expressing himself in a sentimental way ).

I just have this sort of feeling that his creation with two non-human ( and one half-human ) beings as he was human have a large impact on him mentally, specially because Malleus and Lilia are not the most open ones in terms of sentimentality and Sebek is just bad at this as them and also have some issues with expressing himslef and being sociable.

Like, despite all the efforts Lilia put to make sure Silver grew up to be a good person, he couldn't really be that good on the social and emotional part and Malleus weren't the perfect teacher of it either, not even Sebek. So Silver just grew up subconsciously trying to follow their behaviors and manners, while the culture from Biar Valley also moulded his way.

( and I also see Lilia as someone who hides his true feelings behind this mask of energetic and teasingly playful guy. )

The sleep curse might had put some extra inner barrier in Silver's mind, as or he is completely afraid to trying be sociable or he just are indiferent to this because he don't actually think he is capable of something like that due to the curse making him sleep anytime plus all the baggage of being raised in a country were his specie in not viewied with good eyes and being raised by people he eventually knew that would live a lot many years than him, that compared to them, he's really just a common human with a short lifespan. I doubt this hasn't fucked up his mind.

I don't remember if it's actually mentioned something detailed about his relationship with his club partners but, i do think he can be respectful and chit chat for a few minutes, but just having a long, deep and intimate conversation with someone might be too overwhelming to him, since he practically lived his entire life having constant interactions only with his family. He's just caught in this cycle where his adopted dad hide his true feelings, Malleus pretty much do this too and Sebek probably doesn't even think about how he really feels, so he just follow them and lock himself in his own bubble.

So, i really don't know if this make any kind of sense. But i would enjoy if you share your opinion on this silly headcanon i have.

Hello and thank you for sharing your thoughts ^^

I originally wanted to keep this short, but I kept having more and more thoughts and continuously added to the post until it became an absolute behemoth 😅 I still feel like I could have said even more, but I’ll leave it at this for now.

Please look below the cut to read my response!! (Note: the focus will be mainly on Silver and Lilia’s relationship, as those two are usually the ones described as father and son + we know the most about those two as Silver grew up.)

Mmm… Firstly, I don’t know if “being incapable of truly expressing himself” is something that’s exclusive to Silver; this is a pretty consistent trait among the prideful students of NRC. They demonstrate this in different ways (Rook is secretive, the twins claim they would throw Azul away if he becomes boring, Jamil represses his desire to be free while serving Kalim, Cater does not outright tell Trey he wants to be besties but implies he wishes Trey were as close with him as he is with Riddle, etc.). Very few are willing to allow themselves to be vulnerable with one another, and this feeds into a lack of “deep and intimate conversations” amongst all of them, not just between Silver and his peers.

That being said, I do not believe that Silver generally has issues expressing himself. In fact, I would actually argue for the opposite: that Silver is one of the more open students (at least when it comes to his feelings). He has talked about his deep love and respect for his father on multiple occasions. He has many animal companions whom he communicates with. He has given various speeches about how he wishes for a world in which living beings of all races and live happily together. (This last example was vital in Fairy Gala: If; it was Silver’s heartfelt words that moved the pixies to return what they had originally taken from NRC.) He has said on more than one occasion that be is thankful for his father and owes him a debt, that he must somehow “repay” Lilia. He becomes concerned about not being alert and that others may think of him as rude for falling asleep mid-conversation and seeks to correct this. He also worries about his classmates thinking of him as scary and emotionless (and, again, tries to solve this problem). He sees the best in others, he lets them know it (for example, assuming that Jamil is worried about Kalim in Endless Halloween Night), and he gives earnest advice. He understands that Sebek’s abrasiveness is a way of hiding his embarrassment and expressing gratitude, knowing that, deep down, Sebek is caring—so Silver is patient with him and asks others to do the same. He has no trouble asking for help either (something which the other NRC boys have trouble doing). He openly demonstrates awareness of his shortcomings (such as how he always falls asleep at bad times) and is happy just knowing that others may lend an ear to him. He has a lot of tenderness that’s hard to find at NRC. Silver is simply earnest and speaks his mind, even if it can come off as blunt or perhaps a naive way of responding to the world. He has a very simple way of thinking and forming opinions (Vil asks him what’s the most beautiful? “You,” Silver says. Azul asks him what he thought of the food? “Good,” Silver says.)—and his lack of facial expression certainly doesn't help in conveying his emotions, no matter how earnest they may be.

The one major time Silver actively demonstrates repressing his emotions is in book 7, when he stows away his true sadness for the sake of seeing his father off with a smile. He breaks down when he’s away from the party and with Malleus, venting his frustrations about himself and how he cannot even fulfill his father’s final wish. Silver apologizes to Malleus for his “unsightly behavior”, referring to his tears, indicative of a negative emotion, as something to be ashamed of. This, in of itself, is not odd. There’s always a handful of subjects a person may feel uncomfortable talking about even with their friends and family. Maybe it’s finances, personal flaws, or failures. For Silver, it’s in relation to his life span and “owing” Lilia. That’s nothing unusual; most people are not willing to divulge everything to their loved ones; there’s typically something negative or shameful held back. (For example, Deuce wouldn’t be so eager to tell his mom about the violent outbursts he had at school since he’s trying to reform himself. I doubt the OB boys would be eager to tell their own families about their overblots, etc.)

What I deem to be Silver's greatest strength is his empathy, and I think that comes across in how he communicates. When he's talking with others, Silver is entirely emotionally capable, willing to hear them out, and even lend his support. Where he falters is when it specifically comes to matters of his place within his family (which is not present most of the time; most of the time, Silver is in that default empathetic state). This is a point of insecurity for Silver, and it is a large part of his character arc in book 7.

One can say Silver repressing his emotions related to this occurrence is a learned response due to a combination of things. For one, he doesn't want to disappoint his father by ruining his celebration with tears. (Silver cares a lot about others, usually prioritizing them over himself, whether it's putting their needs over his own or literally throwing himself in harm's way to defend them.) For another, Silver, as a human, may have developed insecurities or a complex from having grown up in Briar Valley, a place known to have a very low human population AND a history of war with humans (meaning it's possible that humans are discriminated against). I don't know if the "culture" of Briar Valley had an impact on Silver's communication, since we ourselves are not fully aware of what this "culture" is or how people normally express themselves. Just because fae can be standoffish to outsiders doesn't mean fae are standoffish to other fae when Silver happens to be in the immediate vicinity. We don't really know if Silver has previously expressed worries about the difference in his life span versus those of fae either, but I'd imagine this is something he had to learn for himself and come to terms with, much like the discovery of his adoption. I wouldn’t go so far as to say this "fucked him up" since it wasn't touched on or implied prior to book 7. Because of this, I don't get the impression that it's deeply concerning to Silver until the point it became relevant for his father and paying back the "debt" Silver feels he owes. (Then again, I acknowledge that perhaps these thoughts were not shared due to Silver's... unique style of communication.) I’m not going to speculate about the sleeping curse since we don’t fully understand how it works and I don’t want to make assumptions while I’m still uninformed.

While it’s true that Silver had limited interactions with people outside of Lilia, Malleus, and Sebek in his childhood, I wouldn’t attribute all of Silver’s characteristics to “he learned how to repress his emotions from them”. There were many other factors that contributed to the kind of person Silver would eventually become. His level-headedness comes in part from having to “grow up” fast since Lilia lacks the homemaking skills to look after him. Silver had to learn to cook (have you tasted Lilia’s food?) and clean (have you seen Lilia’s room?) in his place, as well as look after their cottage home whenever Lilia left on trips. He’s the calm that balances out his father. I’m not going to comment on Malleus since I’m not sure how frequently he visited Silver (which would impact the degree to which he affects him). Sebek, however, is also someone that Silver spent a lot of time with because 1) his grandpa already knows Lilia and 2) there are very few kids Silver’s age in Briar Valley. The circumstances just worked out that way. This also exposes Silver to Sebek and his family, as they looked after him on occasions when Lilia could not. Sebek’s two older siblings and parents, then, are also people Silver could look to as models. Otherwise, he seems to have mostly lived in their forest cabin and interacting with few living beings aside from the animals. He states that he rarely went to the capital (which we learn is because Lilia is banned from there) and that he didn’t even go to a middle school (implying Lilia home schooled him before NRC), so… yeah, he’s mainly isolated in the woods. This grants Silver a lot of time to slow down, to be introspective, and to consider both his own feelings and those of others. His awkwardness, then, may come from his social circle being small and not having an opportunity to interact with people beyond it. This creates a lack of awareness for how he may come off to others, as he’s so used to how acclimated Lilia, Malleus, and Sebek are to his usual demeanor. Silver doesn’t realize that his stoic expressions can read as unfriendly to others.

I think there are flaws in saying that Lilia is the type of person to hide his true emotions behind a smile: it’s true from the understanding of the PLAYER because we’ve learned in book 7 that Lilia kept secrets from Diasomnia. Silver’s origins, about the war, why he’s in a hurry to leave early, how Malleus hatched, etc. We as the players understand that Lilia tries to hide his own pain and suffering from those he loves. But… the issue is that Silver doesn’t know this (so how could he “copy” Lilia’s penchant for covering up his true emotions if he never picked up on the initial deception?). Silver fully trusts his father and does not really suspect Lilia of hiding anything from him (excluding maybe the occasional prank). Additionally, I would not conflate keeping secrets and hiding own’s emotions with discouraging sentimentality in Silver. Lilia has hard conversations with his son (like in book 7 right before he handed over the ring from Silver’s deceased parents), and that shows some degree of emotional intelligence and vulnerability. Isn’t he modeling a healthy way of dealing with feelings here? Isn’t Lilia right here, right now, telling Silver how proud he is of him? Lilia is able to be vulnerable too in these moments, regardless of what other secrets he may keep.

Another discrepancy is that both Lilia and Sebek (the ones whom Silver probably spent the most time with as a child, since Malleus had to stay in the castle and be trained and tutored) tend to “hide” their real feelings with very emotional methods (ie covering up one feeling with another feeling)—yet Silver himself didn’t learn to use do the same thing. If we include Malleus in the count, he’s the more consistently “emotionally repressed” character but still has his outbursts of rage and upset. Silver does not “copy” this either. He and Malleus are both calm, yes, but they come from different backgrounds which could breed this calm personality, not necessarily from one mimicking the other. (Silver was mostly in his cottage, Malleus is as in his castle.) This is, again, why I say that it would be faulty to attribute how Silver acts in large part or entirely to Lilia, Sebek, and Malleus. He has been impacted by far more than them and does not pull all of his knowledge on how to socialize from his dorm mates.

The last point I’d like to bring up is that wearing your emotions on your sleeve isn’t necessarily a good thing all the time, nor is it the only way one can express themselves. You can show your love through acts (Silver often thinks about what he can do to best support his father) or gifts too (Silver mentions Lilia puts a lot of thought into picking gifts for everyone). From this angle, we can see that Lilia (Silver’s primary caregiver and guardian) has demonstrated and taught healthy ways of expressing one’s feelings too, and how Silver is capable of reciprocating in his own ways.

Now, am I saying that Lilia and the others were perfect in modeling emotions to Silver? Obviously, no. Misunderstandings happened—but what’s important is learning and growing from them. For example, Lilia failed to understand that Silver might be hurt to learn that he was adopted and thus Lilia acted in a callous way by laughing. But given how their relationship in present day is not strained, we can surmise that Lilia and Silver made up and that Lilia has become more attuned to his son’s sensitivities (as Lilia states that he can easily read Silver’s emotions). Lilia says as much in Malleus’s Dorm Uniform vignettes, telling Malleus that humans have different sensitivities than fae do. A lot of the values Silver had—such as the importance of unity among the races—must have also been instilled in him through Lilia and extensive talks. Again though, Lilia’s not perfect and sometimes he acts in ways which still earn Silver’s ire (Endless Halloween Night is a big one). Malleus himself also makes multiple mistakes when interacting with humans (overstepping with his powers, not paying attention to times, scaring them with his presence, not making an effort himself to reach out). Sebek regularly insults them despite being half human himself. (That’s a whole other can of worms; I’d recommend this analysis for my thoughts on Sebek and his whole deal.) But what I really love about the Diasomnia found family unit is that they balance out each other's flaws really well. Silver's empathy is a great asset to the group, as he's often the one settling disputes between Sebek and his peers or apologizing for Lilia's mischief. He's simultaneously the "heart" of the group and, to some extent, also the "brains" when the others need to be reeled in.

Ultimately, I don’t agree with the suggestion that Silver is “afraid of trying to be sociable”, is “indifferent to socializing”, or that “he doesn’t think he is capable of socializing”. I don’t think Silver would find long, deep, intimate conversations “overwhelming” either (unless, of course, it relates to his own particular insecurities. Recall that he has given those speeches about his hopes for all races to be united; that requires a degree of vulnerability on his part and Silver laid it out smoothly. Lilia has also had tough conversations with him too!). Silver is not a socially anxious person; I think it would be more accurate to say that he comes off in the eyes of his peers as someone who is hard to approach because of how stone-faced he is. Silver himself does not fear or shy away from socializing. He just speaks in a plain way to get his point across and because that’s how he communicates—it’s not the result of him wanting to close the conversation ASAP so he can get away. His sleepiness is another factor to consider (Silver worries others think of it as impolite), but it never outright discourages him from speaking to people to avoiding social interactions altogether to minimize the drowsiness impacting his life. He tries to find ways to stay more alert instead (trying to fix the root of the problem rather than a symptom of it)

I think an excellent encapsulation of Silver’s entire character is his Dorm Uniform vignettes; in them, Silver’s classmates express that they think he is unapproachable and that he has no emotions. Silver overhears these comments and becomes concerned that his peers do not like him, so he asks his friend, Kalim, and Jamil for help learning how to smile. We then learn through a series of comedic events that it is physically hard for Silver to smile or to make a different facial expression which matches his feelings more. What finally gets Silver to smile naturally is when he gets so lost in an activity that he isn’t even aware his expression has changed. Lilia and Malleus, who are watching him, remark on Silver’s uncanny empathy. Then Lilia says, “[Silver] conceals some powerful emotions beneath that poker face of his.” To this, Malleus corrects him: “I wouldn't say he actively conceals [his emotions], per se. I suspect he simply doesn't betray much emotion.” Lilia agrees: “I suppose that's fair. Not that I find him difficult to read, of course!” It’s then that Silver’s classmates realize they were wrong about him and they begin to act more friendly.

To summarize: Malleus outright says it in Silver’s Dorm Uniform vignettes; it’s not that Silver does not have emotions or finds it difficult to communicate in a sentimental way, it’s that peers tend to misread him because of his face and his frank way of speaking. He thinks a lot of the people around him and makes numerous attempts to adjust his behavior so that they are more comfortable being around him. He asks for help and offers help in return. His one weakness is not being able to fully come to terms with the fact that Lilia loves and accepts him as he is, that Silver IS enough for the family he now finds himself in. He may have learned things from Lilia, Malleus, and Sebek, but those three should NOT be held entirely accountable for Silver being the way he is. Several other factors played a role in shaping him to be the cool, level-headed knight we know and love. Silver is… Silver, and sometimes Silver is hard to read or struggles with self-acceptance! That’s just who he is, and that’s part of his appeal.

[starsonablackboard]

mutuals appreciation post! i've been feeling sentimental about the fact that i met so many wonderful skillfull artists and just great people here in such a short time so i want to tell each one of you a couple of nice words

@miaumiaoumao it amazes me how many art styles you can pull off. that's a very rare skill in my experience and you absolutely slay every time. your silly cartoony comics are always a joy to see, and the way you do lineart in the more realistic styles is asolutely wonderful. im staring at the "peer into the darkness" piece (the second one) while im writing this and i cant stop. the way how it's all pencil-y, grainy and textured scratches some deep itch of mine

@fanaroff i love how squishy and soft you draw your characters. your style is so interesting to me, you push the proportions yet it still looks balanced and right. also your characters often feel very grounded in their environment and space, they feel solid. like i know how they would feel if i could touch them yk? i guess that's what i mean as squishy and soft aha

@myballsitchaurghouchie my god where do i begin. your character designs? immaculate. so eccentric and bold and full of character, i love all of the wiskers-ear tufts-fly aways you give your narinder, and the way you stylise your lamb's wool and goat's hair looks insanely cool. you know how to pull off both extremely soft and gentle atmosphere and extremely dynamic one. i see your art quite infrequently but each time it's a joy to behold

@aniimoni i fell in love with your art from the first glance. despite the fact that the majority of your works that i see are digital ones, they all feel so... tactile? sensory? as if i can feel non existent grafite under my fingers, trace the brush strokes. the art that you do is so very gentle, the care you put into it is obvious even through the screen. also i love your lamb's design so very much. and narinder's penis ears. what can i do

@sriibble don't know if i should tag you since you're not in our weird cultist club and you already know all im about to say but hey, no harm in some praise, is there. i've seen you skills evolve over these years, but honestly each time i see your new drawings i feel like im awestruck for the very first time. the way you work with colour sometimes looks like magic to me, you can take the palette that makes no sense and bend and mold and twist it into something absolutely beautiful. i know you draw without lines or contours but each time i actually see im in awe. maybe i sound cheesy but it feels like you actually create art, like it runs from your fingers and molds in your palms like clay. жесть меня понесло конечно но и ладно. люблю тебя моя радость, чмаф

@greedykrab the way you work with colour is insane omg. your drawings have such pure raw energy to them, the way you draw, messy and confident, is mesmorising amd so so expressive. you convey atmosphere masterfully, that black and red drawing of narinder in the window still scares the shit out of me. i adore your dark warm kinda dirty paletts, i feel like you know very well how colour and lighting behave, your pieces always feel so real

@midia666 your bishop designs are so unique and striking, i feel like they do an absolutely awesome job at being, well, character designs -- conveying personalities through the way character looks. you have such a good grasp on human (and human-ish) anatomy, your linework is so confident yet so gentle when it needs to be. и я всегда радуюсь видя крутых русскоговорящих художников тут. спасибо за ваши труды <3

@donutfloats it's maybe a strangely specific way to start but i love how you draw wide open maws full of teeth <3 you understand anthro facial (muzzle? snout?) structure so well at such level which i strive towards. the clothes you give your charactes are always amazing and i wish i could wear them, and the diverse body types are so pleasing to look at. also mephis is my fav i love them sm

@teruuu i scroll through all of you guy's art tags so i can formulate my thoughts better and oh god ru i forgot how absolutely batshit insane your art can be in the bestestest of ways. all those scribbly lines and sharp teeth and broken colours, absolutely wild amazing and so so vivid. your designs are a delight to look at and even more a delight to draw, your characters are so expressive and fun and your lineless artstyle is so polished and pleasing and nice, it's amazing in a whole different way <3

@linvxtheghost your art lately been such an interesting middle point between lineless and line..full? and your colours are vibrant yet very balanced, it's like you draw with acrilic markers but in didgital, yk?? it's such a cool look! your more soft colouring stule is also so so nice and gentle and glowy i adore it sm. and your sketches are so dynamic and fun!! твои рисунки всегда будут близки моему сердцу леша и вообще ты крутой художник блин. (бтв если ты таки запостишь мои комишки я зареблогаю the shit out of them)

woooow that was a lot but a fun lot! i hope i didn't leave anyone out?? i double checked. you guys are all so wonderfull and skilled im so glad we're mutuals!!! have a great day and take care <3

[tokiro07]

Toki Reads Shonen Jump 2025, Issue #9

One Piece: Rodo brings Luffy and co. to the ruins of the palace and explains Loki and Hajrudin's pasts as half-brothers and children of King Harald; Gunko continues to torture Loki until evil!Shanks, Figarland Shamrock, decides they need to take another approach to bring Elbaph to heel. ...What do you mean people are still arguing about Shanks being a rat? This entire chapter is about two pairs of half-brothers, it's not being subtle; unrelated, Gunko using her arrows to enhance her limbs feels like a deliberate parallel to Luffy and likely is meant to further muddy the idea that Luffy is the single successor of Joyboy

Undead Unluck: On the anniversary of their first meeting, a wedding is held for Andy and Fuuko...who are both stupid enough to forget about it; they race to Stonehenge to decide who tops tonight, but end up touching down at the exact same time, and get married beneath the full moon. This may be, for me, The Greatest Jump Ending Ever; I couldn't possibly sum it up better in this blurb, I can't wait to write my full review

Roboco: A director makes a documentary about Roboco, which is naturally 100% fabricated. Honestly, I kinda want to read THAT version of Roboco

Sakamoto: Sakamoto and Shin get ambushed in the dark, so Sakamoto uses Shin's telepathy to detect enemy assassins. It's nice to see how quickly they formed a rapport, no wonder they became partners

EluSam: As Tokiyuki approaches marrying age, more and more girls start noticing him; Tokiyuki reveals he was somewhat aware of Ayako, Shizuku and Mima's feelings for him, but he never considered them as viable options because he didn't want to elevate any of them above the others; Kojiro, man among men, spells out the obvious and sensible solution - POLYAMORY!!! MATSUI, DON'T YOU PLAY WITH ME!!! THIS BETTER BE THE REAL THING!!! MAKE ME ACTUALLY LIKE ELUSAM!!!

Witch Watch: On summer vacation, Chami's mother insists that Chami take up swim lessons like she said she would, but she ends up going to Nico's house to be lazy instead, making up a bunch of excuses about being a celebrity and not wanting to be recognized or seen in or swimsuit publicly; Nico uses a spell to make the air feel like water so they can swim privately, but accidentally raises the water level to skyscraper heights, forcing them to swim to a skyscraper for safety; the two walk home, and Chami is recognized and seen publicly in her swimsuit. Easily my favorite running gag in Witch Watch - people abusing magic to avoid certain outcomes and getting fittingly punished for it

Blue Box: As Chinatsu looks back over the years she put into improving, Yumeka looks back over the same time that she didn't and realizes that she's now the one chasing Chinatsu. I have trouble getting into a lot of sports series cus I can't follow the sport aspect, but moments like these where the characters shine through always get me

Akane: Kashio sees that despite the language barrier, Akane's refined Rakugo is able to reach the French audience; after the show, he begs her to come back to Japan, and she reveals that was already the plan. I said last week that Akane looks the same post-timeskip, and I stand by that, but there's definitely a subtle change; I want to say she has longer eyelashes and slightly more centered bangs, but I feel like there's something more that gives her this new air of maturity

Kill Blue: Eri develops a new temporary antidote for Juzo, allowing him to temporarily return not just to his true age, but to his prime; before deciding to take the fight to Oka, Juzo has fun with the Home-Ec Club and visits Noren's ramen shop one last time just in case he doesn't make it out alive. This feels pretty definitively like it's meant to be the beginning of the end - Juzo's in his ultimate form, he's actively putting a stop to the feedback loop; having another arc after all of that would run the risk of cheapening the sentiment, but I've been wrong before

Nue: Yoshichi is revealed to be an Impure Child, which is apparently a social taboo despite the fact that it makes him a ridiculous powerhouse fighter; through sheer grit, Gakuro manages to overcome their difference in power and experience and lands a solid blow. Gakuro using the fragments of his sword as floating platforms sounds cool, shame I couldn't tell what was going on through these messy panels

Kagurabachi: The Masumi bring Iori to a secure location and inform her that she'll forget everything and go back to school in 24 hours, but Chihiro realizes that she's living the life he would have had he never known his father, giving him second thoughts; he offers to explain everything to Iori so that she can make the decision herself. I'm such a sucker for parallels, they're such a great way to flesh out our understanding of a character

Chojo: Chojo, Ippongi and Cop-Bot get into an argument about their singing and enter a competition to prove who's the best, only to be trounced by Mr. Guy. I'm surprised Chojo's bad at singing, I don't remember that coming up during the idol arc

Astro Royale: As the Japanese Yakuza Association threatens Hachiku's little brother, Hibaru convinces Hachiku to turn on them as he also declares war personally. A nice sentiment to save Hachiku's brother, but the guy's a human trafficker and Hachiku has barely had any real development, so I'm not interested in getting attached to these two

Kiyoshi: The Black Parade turns out to not be some far-off event, but coming in about a week, just before the sports festival; best girl Oka comes to thank Kiyoshi for saving her and apologize for her part in summoning Asuta Roth, and Kiyoshi assures her that she's not responsible and that he'll take care of everything. Suddenly jumping to the Black Parade sure feels like a cancelation moment, but we've already established that there are two other Great Demon Lords, so this is probably just the Arlong Park of the series. Hopefully

Hima-Ten: Kanna lands a bit part in a movie and needs a touch-up on her hair, so Tenichi suggests she go to his mother's salon for a discount; Tenichi's mother immediately clocks that he's become a harem protagonist and sets him up to go on a date to the amusement park with Kanna. We're getting FOUR Kanna chapters in a row??? It's not canceled already and we're speedrunning her getting let down are we??? You have to live to prove that modern polyamory is just as acceptable as EluSam's historical polyamory!!!

Ichi: After being knocked out fighting the World Hater, Ichi finds himself in his Magic Circle, an inner world where his acquired Magiks are kept; outside, Desscaras and Togeice team up, prompting World Hater to retreat...for now. Shame that we ended the ceiling battle so soon, but I'm satisfied, and I like the lore implications of the Magic Circle

Shinobi: The Ninja Public Safety Force sends another ninja, Suzume, to act as Aoi's boyfriend since Yodaka's actual feelings for her seem to have compromised his ability to protect her; because of Suzume's shallow and misogynistic view of Aoi, Yodaka resolves to prove that he's the best fit for the job. Suzume's ability to charm women is so uncannily efficient that I have to wonder if this is his Kekkai

Hakutaku: The dev team laments Hideout Plan's failure; Hikuma's old bully Sano gives it a try, and comes to realize that he and Hikuma see the same good traits in each other but not themselves; undeterred, Noto calls everyone together to strategize their next game. I thought for sure that Hakutaku was going to end next week, but apparently we're only doing two new series this coming round, so it looks like Hakutaku's got one arc left in it

Syd Craft: Souffle gets captured and has a bomb strapped to her; a message left by the mysterious Zero Craft gives a hint for how to save her, and claims to intend to keep masterminding more cases out of love for Syd; as the ship sinks, Souffle kisses Syd to give him the air he needs to solve the puzzle and save them both. I think it says something that I forgot IMMEDIATELY that the Scissorleg Killer mentioned the obviously Moriarty/Mycroft-esque Zero Craft; seriously, I spent that review talking about Elio coming out as trans, clearly that reveal was the last thing on my mind

Ruri Dragon: Ruri helps students from other classes warm up to her by warming up their cold food with her fire breath, an obvious hazard that she's definitely getting cooked for. A super cute chapter, but it once again raises the question of where all the dragons are in the modern day; I know it's not Shindou's priority, but I hope we get a dive into the lore soon

Top 3 of the Week:

Undead Unluck OBVIOUSLY

Elusive Samurai for FINALLY giving me what I want!!! Unless Matsui is TEASING ME?!

Kagurabachi for an interesting bit of characterization for Chihiro

It's only UU that left, but somehow this feels like the week of endings; EluSam and Akane had timeskips last week to lead into what's likely their final phases, Kill Blue and Kiyoshi are acting like they're building up to a climax (even if they're not), and Hakutaku is frankly lucky to still be alive all things considered

I'm probably just being pessimistic since I won't have UU to look forward to anymore, but it feels like a big shift is coming soon

Whether it does or doesn't, I have every intention of enjoying what Jump has to offer!

[adri-todo1]

Romance Club head canons/actual canons I think about a lot

Kali: Call of Darkness

Amala and Amrit are technically related since Amala's great grandfather is Raj Doobay who is also Amrit's grandfather. /somewhat of a theory I guess

Killian has OCD and it's clearly displayed in some episodes. /canon

Amrit has a distaste for overly strong smells and flavours. /Canon

Lima has a dislike for raisins./canon and I don't blame her.

Kiran has definitely mean mugged either Priyanka or Rishi./head canon

Kiran and Gabriel are good friends based on a line in dialogue in season two./canon

The one official photo where Amala and Ratan found her clothes torn with Doc behind him in the window has probably happened before./headcanon

Devdas has definitely slapped Vimal upside the head one too many times when they were children./headcanon

Kali: Flame of Samsara

Kamal doesn't like sweet foods./canon

Devi may have fantasied about letting her tiger bite Anil Sharma./headcanon

Sara has tried mastering different areas in painting./headcanon

Tian likes reading to Devi from time to time./ Somewhat of a mix between canon and headcanon

Ram has heterochromia meaning he has two different eye colours, coincidentally his eyes are green and light blue like all men in his family./canon

Doran likes good food and wine so whenever there is an event look out for him near where food is being served./canon

Radha and Raj have a child together./canon and heavily implied.

Theodora

Charlotte's real name is Valentina and she is the daughter of Madame Rosetta./canon

Blaine has a daughter who carries on his legacy in season three of Theodora./canon

Antonio named the jazz bar after Theodora's alias despite her leaving him so abruptly./canon

John probably heard Theodora said "Why is it spicy?" when she first discovered the meme as a reference to his cologne./headcanon

Darius teaches Theodora Arabic often./headcanon

Marcel has definitely rambled about a book he hyper fixated on for so long that he had trouble moving his jaw comfortably for a few days./headcanon

Yoke had an affair with a doctor she worked under that resulted in her pregnancy with Bruno./canon

Friedrich grew up in an abusive home which resulted in him developing a stutter./canon

Friedrich plays music often for Theodora after they had gotten married./headcanon and a bit of canon.

Lawrence has definitely tried some of John's tea behind his back, gagged and put the cup back down like nothing happened./headcanon

Jamie definitely has been caught reading smut by Theodora on one too many occasions./headcanon

Theodora has flipped off Germans back during the times of war, who's to say she wouldn't do it again?/canon for her actually flipping them the bird and headcanon for the fact that she might have done it again.

Theodora and Friedrich both have a cat hair allergy./canon and heavily implied

The One Vol 1

Ford's real name is Clifford and he's embarrassed about it./canon

Mona has been found on the roof a couple of times./canon because it happened in episode two.

Chloe has two sisters, Jenna and Hazel./canon

Thiago rides a motorcycle./canon, proof is literally episode one

Adira disliked the fact that the photographer had labelled her as War in episode four./canon

Luka gave Chloe a coin that held sentimental value to him for her to adjust to living life on camera./canon

Deshawn has definitely binge watched Madea movies with Chloe./headcanon

Kelsie and Chloe definitely did dances for tiktok or Instagram./headcanon

Evan was caught eating a Twinkie on set a few times by Chloe./headcanon

The Host has definitely played volleyball in school./possible canon since she plays with ease in episode two.

Chloe and Kelsie played pranks on the others./headcanon

The One Vol 2

Kiana wants to be the Host one day so she has Wendy/the original Host as her mentor./canon

Joel has definitely brought up the idea of travelling the world to Kiana./headcanon

Ben/Bianca is lactose intolerant but still drinks milkshakes despite knowing that they're lactose intolerant./ Mix of headcanon and canon

Bradley and Ford are brothers but they're not close to their father's need to compare the two./canon

Ken was only in the show for the prize money and had a relationship with a guard./canon

Imani and Kiana definitely went on vacation after the show./headcanon

Michelle and Kiana are good friends outside of the show./canon

Path of the Valkyrie

Now we all know that Loki has done some weird shit but what takes the cake was probably when he conjured up skimpy clothing for Liv which had Sagr and Ullr looking flushed./canon

If Liod was a human, she'd probably have Samoan genes./head canon

Vanadis has probably taught Liv how to make poisons./head canon

Ullr has let Liv braid his hair on different occasions./headcanon

Many forget that Sagr is a not just some herbalist, he is a god with Vanir blood./canon

Thor absolutely despised his Tower counter part but if he met his MCU counterpart then he would consider that Thor to be naive./headcanon and canon

Andvari would like hat shopping in a sense but not as much as crafting weapons./canon

Jori loved stories./canon, RIP Jori

Moonborn

Victor has composed songs of his own but believes that they're not worthy of being released./canon when Mia finds his studio.

Prince Ethan Wood is an Edward Cullen look a like and no one can convince me otherwise./headcanon

Max is a preschool teacher and scout leader./canon

Trisha and Mia filmed short digital video memoirs./headcanon

If Victor met Vladimir Tod, they'd get along fairly well./headcanon

Dustin and Sean have definitely gotten into an argument over a board game./head canon

Heart of Trespia

Reinhold is allergic to honey but has never been able to taste sweetness until season two./canon

Wyatt got Ellaire pregnant in Season three./canon

Taki and Reyna are a couple and were confirmed to be expecting in season three./canon

Gisella, Delias and Ellaire have definitely taught the young girls in the neighboring villages to hunt, cook and make herbs in case of emergencies./headcanon

Cyrus was a Shaadhan hired sword before Reinhold came along and hired him./canon

Ellaire's three appearances go in this order: Light skin/Maithen, Slightly Brown skin/Shaadhan and Dark Brown skin/Rajahilian./headcanon but some what true.

Delias would have been good friends with Sana from Kali: Call of Darkness./headcanon

Wyatt would definitely munch down about three cake tarts if you gave him a chance./headcanon

Gisella has most definitely had sleepless nights whenever Taki and Reyna decided to get 'active'./headcanon

Taki called Ellaire 'The Mother of the Sprite Eagles' after she tamed Aurora./headcanon

If you are on Wyatt's Romance Path, it's safe to say that the baby would have grown up as both a royal and a knight with Morel training the young child to best their enemies in combat./headcanon

Reinhold is a clean freak. He just hates lingering dusts and grim. He would be great friends with a certain captain from Attack on Titan

Small author's note

Hi, this is my first post so I apologize if it isn't what any of you expected it but I will be posting a part two if it is wanted

[m1ssunderstanding]

Get Back Rewatch 55 Years On: Day Two

Paul and Ringo cabaret duo au NOW!

Their collective bitter humor about the fan mag. I think George probably appreciates Paul getting into this sort of shit with him. Even if it is only on a surface-level. A reminder that the Beatles fame journey (something that's been hellish at times for George, enough to give him PTSD and other issues for the rest of his life) has not left Paul unscathed. That Paul actually does have feelings, however buried they may be.

Could even be that the appreciation comes out in the form of "I think your beard suits you. Man." Does the tacked-on 'man' mean a sort of "no homo" type qualifier? Or is it just an added endearment. I know we don't think of George as particularly inhibited, but it was the sixties. And of course Paul loves the compliment and has no idea what to do with it.

Can you all please thank Mal as he hands you your tea next time? Not that hard, guys.

Ringo's voice is so sexy. And I love how supportive Paul and George are of this very stupid song. If either of them had written it, they'd tear it to shreds, but it's Ringo, so we laugh along and enthuse about the sentiments behind the lyrics.

The communal bitching about EMI's treatment of them. As they should.

Oh goodness, it's the "Paul has an embarrassing crush" moment from that iconic post of @jeremy-hillary-boob He totally does and you should say it. "I never used to know what it meant". It's giving "girl pretends not to know how to hold her golf club so the hot guy will touch her".

I have a theory that some of their covers ~matter~ and "What do you want to make those eyes at me for?" Is the first one for me.

Okay this look right here that John is giving Paul? Not to, like, out myself as never having experienced pure love except from my own child or anything, but the only other place I've ever seen that look is on my one-year-old's face when I come get him from his nap. So ... "A lovely little baby, John was"

"If this boy dies, you're gonna cop it." Peak older brother behavior. He's joking, but he's also deadly serious.

In love with John trying to sing out of his range. He's trying so hard, you guys.

"Everybody had a hard year. 'well, I'm not sure, actually. Put [good year]." Same, John. Isn't it always that way? Hard. And good. He's such a genius lyricist. He just captures the human condition with such specificity.

Lol at Paul correcting John on the key of his own song (yeah, yeah, gimme some truth is secretly a colab but it's still a John song)

When they put a piano in front of Paul and John's instantly like "uh-oh, red-alert my beautiful boyfriend might not get captured perfectly from every angle" vs a year and a half later when he's bitching about Paul having too much screen-time in Let it Be. Well, you were part of the problem, babe.

I love George's way of teaching his songs. Whereas Paul was shouting key changes and counts between phrases, and John doesn't even bother to give any of that information, George is just softly singing "E, to F sharp minor. E to A." Beautiful. John and Paul, take notes.

Wonder if I'll get through a day without calling Paul a whore. Probably not.

John being instantly self-effacing after suggesting that genius little let's enhancement. "My mind can blow those clouds away" is actually much more original and thought-provoking, but John just makes fun of himself. Like. Just own it. You're John fucking Lennon!

The George/Paul convo (George talking, Paul hardly flinching) is so painful actually. Because from the outside, Paul's avoidance looks so condescending and unfeeling, but avoidance feels much more like 'Shit fuck shit dodge the fight, go around, don't react, don't engage, don't start something' and i really feel for both of them.

Let John do Help for gosh sakes!

"Not bad though. Good try, that. Johnny."

The part where Paul is looking just so exhausted, and he's actually letting it show, and then he sees the camera on him and hurries and tries to do a cheeky little Beatles head-shake and smile. But then he's really just too tired (and high) and he looks away and rubs his eyes. It was like watching an old circus bear. Those poor things.

And of course John's head snapping up like a little gopher when Paul says his name

[beansterpie]

Not to ramble about es21 but just saw a take on Twitter that presented Hiruma as someone who is clinging onto his persona (so his hair, the piercings, the threats— the things he allegedly does for the sake of scaring people) because he doesn’t see/understand himself, with the implication that he needs to stop clinging onto these things and face reality (eg, grow up). This is within the context of him in university and continuing to maintain his dyed hair. It’s a sentiment that I don't agree with and suddenly felt like rambling on about the topic lol.

For one, I don’t think the way he presents himself is solely for the sake of intimidating others. It’s definitely a factor, but I also think he just likes it. It’s like everything else he does— the renovated club room doesn’t do anything to intimidate rival teams but he did it anyway because he likes flashy, gaudy shit. His cartoon violence guns are certainly to intimidate people, but he also just likes guns. His trick plays are to confuse the opposing team and to make up for the lack of formal training that the Devilbats have, but he also just likes trick plays! It suits his personality, that’s just the kind of dude he is. He exaggerates aspects of himself to get a rise out of people, but they’re still aspects of him. Imo, what unnerves people is that he’s so unabashedly himself, and who he is is unhinged and calculating and contradictory and unapologetic. I’d even argue that his ‘unhinged’ side is him at his happiest, and when he gets quiet and pensive, he’s at his most tense or disappointed or like, bored with life lmfao.

And as far as canon goes, at least imo, it presents Hiruma as a person who is very honest with himself about who he is. He has no illusions about his limitations and isn't shy about letting people know that, not to mention how shameless he is in his goal of winning. He doesn't give a fuck what other people think of him, which I think is a pretty good indicator that he's comfortable in his own skin.

That being said, I do think he’s got trust issues when it comes to letting people in emotionally or allowing people to see his vulnerabilities. I think there’s enough in canon to suggest that this is probably because he’s been totally independent for so long and so learned to rely only on himself. Like, all we really know about his background is that he’s been living alone since middle school and has an estranged father lol. Throughout the series we see the exceptions to this in Kurita and Musashi, as well as new people joining those ranks like Mamori and to an extent Sena and the rest of the devilbats. Hiruma's arc is coming to trust and believe in his teammates, rather than solely operating on statistics and probability.

But I don’t think a guy having some trust issues necessarily means that he doesn’t know himself. For such a trickster-like character, he’s remarkably frank about what he wants and why.

And tbh, on a personal preference level, I find any future where Hiruma matures in a way that has him becoming more ‘normal’ low key a tragedy lmfao. I could see him choosing to stop bleaching his hair somewhere down the line because he can’t be assed anymore, but I cannot see him getting a more conventional haircut or developing more conventional tastes. Hiruma would continue to be a goth-punk who’s too into football and gambling even as an old man, change my mind.

[chocosea]

Fresh Novel Summary Chapter 1

Chapter Title: Fresh Precure Once Again!

One year after the fight with Labyrinth, Love, Miki, and Inori are in their 3rd year of middle school (9th grade).

They have to prepare for high school entrance exams. Inori is in Love's room to help tutor her. They were supposed to be studying together, but since Love is bad at school Inori basically became her tutor. Inori is studying for a high school that's connected to a college that has a vet program, so she has to do extra studying by herself after tutoring Love. Love has lost interest in studying and zoned out; Inori marked her answer book with a bunch of red marks. Love's mom (Ayumi) brings them snacks, and they quit studying for the day and talk about friend stuff. They recount their surprise at hearing Miki say that she wasn't going to high school and instead plans to attend beauty school. She's decided not to become a top model and wants to become a beautician now to take over her mom's shop.

Inori is wondering if Miki is really okay with that. Chiffon and Tarte come to visit by appearing outside of Love's window. Love lets them in and they take some donuts that were on the snack tray. Chiffon can speak a lot more now but doesn't seem to always understand the words she repeats. She has picked up some Kansai dialect from Tarte. They often move between Earth, the Sweets Kingdom, and Labyrinth. So they have stories of how Setsuna, Wester, and Soular are doing their best to make Labyrinth a happy country.

Love feels lost in comparison to her friends, who are all working towards a dream.

After school, Love has a 1-on-1 with her homeroom teacher as the teacher has to interview all the students about their plans for the future. The teacher, Manami Kudou, says that Love is still in middle school, so it's fine if she wants time to think about it in high school. Love agrees, but says that she feels like her friends are all working towards a dream, so she has to do her best to get her happiness also. Manami doesn't understand Love's catchphrase so Love clarifies that it's like how Manami's engaged, which is like getting super happiness. Manami protests that this has nothing to do with her own private life, but breaks out into a smile and Love teases her. Manami changes the subject to Love's terrible grades on the recent mock exam, and tells her that she won't be able to get into the school of her choice with this. Love is like, "Yeahhh, you got me there!" and says her polite goodbyes.

Manami thinks to herself that Love's a strange girl that makes you feel happy by being around her. Then she thinks that probably should be expected as Love is… (It trails off here.) She gets a call from her fiance, but her smile freezes over at the first thing he says: "I'm sorry. I really don't think I can get married…"

The sudden break in her happiness leads Manami to momentarily mentally blame Love for leaving, though she realizes how unreasonable that is. Just because Love's presence made her feel happy doesn't mean that she took it away when she also left. And yet, Love had only talked about getting happiness until this point, so her timing was truly something. Manami isn't processing anything else her fiance says; she just realizes that happiness and misery are two sides of the same coin that can be flipped over at any moment.

Meanwhile, Daisuke is hanging out at his baseball club even though practice has long ended for 3rd years. He told his friends he wanted to see his club since they're almost graduating, and got laughed at for saying something so uncharacteristically sentimental. However, his true purpose was to intercept Love coming back from her counseling session so that he could talk to her and find out what high school she's aiming for. Which is exactly what he does. He confirms that she's aiming for Yotsuba High School, which is where most of their middle school students go.

Love asks Daisuke where he's aiming for, and he says that he's unsure. This surprises her. He mentions that Yuki's (guy who had a crush on Miki) family owns a sushi restaurant, so he's planning on studying to become a chef rather than going to high school. Kento (guy who had a crush on Inori) is from the Mikoshiba conglomerate so he's going to study abroad in America. Daisuke says that he feels like the only one who doesn't have things figured out. Love immediately grabs one of his hands in both of hers and says she feels the same while shaking it up and down.

Daisuke's heart skips a beat. At the intersection, he says that he was thinking of trying for the private high school a town over since they have a strong baseball team, but if Love is going to Yotsuba High he might try that instead. He says this while blushing. Just then the signal turns green, and Love bounds off on the road while bidding him goodbye. She wasn't listening to him at all. Daisuke is left standing there, and the signal turns red again.

At home, Love speeds through dinner and her bath to start studying immediately in her room. There, though, she finds that Tarte has put Chiffon to sleep and is demanding that she stay quiet. She says sorry, and then points out that this is her room. She starts trying to study and it's not going well; she doesn't even know what questions she would have to ask to get an explanation that would make sense. Tarte goes on about how he agrees with her teacher and she doesn't need to compare herself to Pine or Berry. Love tells him to shush it so she can focus on studying. He apologizes and goes back to reading his manga magazine. All is quiet until Love starts making sleeping noises; she fell asleep at her desk. Tarte puts her cardigan over her.

The next day, Manami is absent from school. Everyone expects that she'll show up later in the day, but she doesn't. They feel that something's off as there's rumors going around that something happened with her fiance. Love doesn't believe it since Manami looked so happy on her counseling day and the wedding was only a few days away.

Daisuke is looking through reference books, thinking he's going to get serious about studying now that he's talked to Love, when Kento and Yuki appear. They get chummy with him and say they heard about how he was actually waiting for Love that one day. Daisuke denies it, but they tell him that they're rooting for him since their own crushes have no future (Yuki not being able to go to high school with Miki and beauty school doesn't match up with owning a sushi restaurant; Kento leaving for America). The two of them then march him off to the game arcade despite him saying he needs to study. He realizes that this is why he hasn't gotten serious about studying, since these two don't have entrance exams to worry about.

Daisuke loses a fighting game to Kento because Kento is rich and has every new game at home that he can play as much as he wants (though they always hang out on the second floor with the old games, so I guess Kento just is game buff). Daisuke goes to get something from the vending machine and looks out the window to see Manami sitting at a cafe.

At school during break time, Daisuke whisper reports to Love what he saw in a hallway. He saw Manami at a cafe in front of the station arguing with a man. Daisuke says that this must be her fiance. Love asks if Daisuke saw the man's face or knew what they were talking about, to which he answers no to both. Love says that he actually doesn't know if it was her fiance or not then. Daisuke insists that they were arguing about something and that it's weird for their teacher to skip school just to argue with a man in a coffee shop.

A few days later, Love is heading to Inori's house for studying. Passing by the park, she sees Kaoru's truck and decides to get some donuts to go. From the truck's shadow, she sees Miyuki sitting alone at the seating area. Love stops in her tracks. They had all stopped dancing after that competition they won due to having to study for entrance exams, so she hasn't seen Miyuki in a while and feels awkward about calling out to her. Love gathers up her courage and starts to call out her name, but Miyuki doesn't notice and suddenly leaves with a serious face.

Kaoru greets Love and asks if she wants donuts. Love asks him about what's going on with Miyuki, but he says he didn't notice anything.

Love arrives at Inori's house, which is behind their vet hospital in Clover Town Street. The person that opens the door for her isn't Inori, however, but Miki. Miki was at Inori's house to return a book and heard that Love was coming, so she thought she'd give her a little scare. Miki gets ready to take her leave so she won't get in the way of them studying, but Love tells her to stay and study with them. Miki asks why she should do that when she has no entrance exams. Love says that it's too bad then, since she brought Kaoru's donuts with her, which catches Miki's attention. Inori plays along and says that they should just eat them between the two of them, while Miki protests that they should've brought the donuts up first and joins them. Love jokes that this is her return-fire knockout surprise move.

That night, Miyuki thinks over the day's events in her room. Reika had suddenly said that she wanted to quit Trinity during a break in their dance lessons. Miyuki and Nana had pressed her for reasons, but Reika only cried and said that it was due to family matters and that she had to return to her hometown immediately. Miyuki knew that Reika was the one in most pain, but she couldn't help herself and snapped at her, saying she had enough and Reika could just do whatever. Miyuki wonders why she said that and why she didn't run after Reika and thank her for all the hard work she put in their group until now. She didn't want Trinity to break up, but in the end she was the one who broke them apart. Now crying, Miyuki concludes that she's the worst.

Just then, she feels a presence of a person in her room and lifts her head to look behind her. In the corner of her room stands a man in a dark hooded cloak. Normally she would yell, but for some reason she doesn't feel any sense of fear. She feels fascinated, like she's been hypnotized.

The man introduces himself as Maphisto, which uses the Kanji 魔 (demon, evil) for the "Ma" part. The rest of the name is in Katakana. His face isn't visible under the shadow of his hood, but his eyes shine with a strange light that she can't look away from. He asks her if she's sad, and she says yes. He asks again, and she says yes. He says he knows a way that will take away the pain of mourning a happiness that will never return. Miyuki begs him to tell her what that is. He tells her to say magic words, and she pleads with him to tell her what they are. He says that she already knows them. The words appear in her head, and at his goading she says them aloud: "Happiness is worthless." (Note about the Japanese: "幸せなんかいらない" literally translated, it could be "I don't need something like happiness." as well as "I don't want to be happy." いらない carries both the idea of not wanting something and not needing something; therefore I used "worthless" given the gravity of this statement in this particular context.)

The next moment, a murky darkness flies out of Maphisto's mouth and attacks Miyuki's body.

Daisuke is in the next room over and was listening to music with headphones, but took them off thinking he would buy a snack. When he does, he hears Miyuki scream. He immediately rushes to her room and sees her turning into a monster. Once fully a monster, what-was-once-Miyuki breaks the window and flies outside. It chants "Fushiawase" (Unhappiness) and also the word "Dancing."

Love, Miki, and Inori have finished studying and are heading out (Inori to see them off halfway). Love recounts how she saw Miyuki at the park. Miki jokes about how Love is always worried about other people when her own studying isn't going well, when they hear a yell. A beat later they hear a crowd screaming in fear. They run over there and see a 3 meter tall monster moving jerkily, as if dancing, as people scramble away. It grabs people with multiple long arms, and the people caught begin dancing in the same manner against their will. The book compares this to the fairy tale the red shoes; the people must dance until they die.

Miki wonders if it's the Labyrinth at work again, but Love immediately denies it since Setsuna is working to make that place better. The three of them start helping people escape. The monster is using anything around it to attack people.

Elsewhere, Tarte (with Chiffon on his back) has climbed onto a lamp post to see what's going on.

Love sees a man in his 20s looking up at the monster with a sad look on his face and directs him to escape. As he leaves, she sees a dolphin keychain on his bag, which she feels like she's seen somewhere before. Before she can recall where, Daisuke comes running over and calling her name.

Daisuke tells them that the monster is Miyuki and begs them to transform into Precure to save her. The three of them can't though, because they gave their items back to the Sweets Kingdom. The three of them try to call out to Miyuki but the monster only attacks them. They keep trying to no avail. Love shouts that she wants to save Miyuki, and from the lamp post Chiffon suddenly cries out. A light shines from the mark on her forehead, and the next moment Love, Miki, and Inori all have their Linkruns in their hands. Their Pickruns come flying down from the sky. The girls are surprised, but Pirun tells them that Love called them when she said she wanted to save Miyuki. The girls look at each other and then raise their hands all at once and shout their transformation phrase. Tarte finally catches up with them once they've transformed.

The Precure fight the monster, and it takes them a bit to get used to their roles again. Once they get the hang of it though, they hit it with a Love Sunshine Fresh and Espoir Shower Fresh, but as Cure Pine tries to cast Healing Prayer Fresh, a lone pet dog jumps in front of her. Pine immediately leaps and grabs it, and is hit directly by the monster's flailing arms. She crashes hard into concrete walls. The dog however is safe, and runs off happily once it hears its owner calling for it. Relieved, Pine passes out. Berry and Peach try to run over to her but are hit by the monster and go flying.

Peach spots a gallant figure lit by the moonlight on the roof of a building for a moment and immediately recognizes it as Cure Passion. Passion casts Happiness Hurricane, giving them that last purifying power they need to beat the monster. The people stop dancing, finally free.

The three of them, transformations undone, run over to Inori and help her stand. Inori asks about Miyuki, and they turn around to see Daisuke at her side. All four of them rush over. Miyuki struggles to remember what happened, and then recalls Maphisto. She tells them about the hooded figure that was standing in the corner of her room, but can't remember anything after that. Miki tells Daisuke that they should get her home so she can rest. Daisuke and Love help Miyuki up, and Miyuki finally notices the girls' presence. When she sees Love, she comments that it's been a long time and that she feels better getting to see Love. She asks Love to say her catchphrase so Love replies with a "Get your happiness!" with a thumbs up. Miyuki thanks her and says she can feel her energy returning.

They see Miyuki off. From the shadows, Maphisto watches them and scoffs at Love's catchphrase. Setsuna notices his presence and turns around, but he's already gone. The other three surround her and welcome her back, and she replies with a smile, already forgetting about the presence she felt. Tarte and Chiffon also welcome her back, and Setsuna calls their names and opens her arms wide. Tarte tries to leap into her hug but she only hugs Chiffon. Tarte makes a corny joke about how painful ("Setsunai") it is to get this from "Passion"-han. No one hears this pun and Setsuna greets him after and asks how he's doing.

Love asks Setsuna why she's here, and Setsuna recounts for them. When Chiffon's light shone, she was eating her handmade donuts with Wester and Soular. They said her donuts were good, but she noticed that they were holding something back and pointed it out. The other two were hesitant but told her that though her donuts were good, they didn't really match up to Kaoru's. She took a bite herself, said she'd work harder, then laughed, and the other two laughed as well. At that moment, her Linkrun suddenly appeared in her hand and Akarun came flying in. She realized that for the Linkrun and Akarun to cross dimensions from the Sweets Kingdom like that it must mean that the Precure team was out there fighting. Wester and Soular came to the same conclusion and told her that she should go, with Wester saying she had to bring back Kaoru's donuts as a souvenir. She transformed and the two of them clapped when she finished, to which she said, "Cut it out". After that, she used Akarun's teleportation powers to get to where they were fighting.

Setsuna and Love surprise Love's mom with Setsuna. Ayumi is touched to see Setsuna and welcomes her home. Setsuna shyly replies that she's back, and addresses Ayumi as her mother again. Ayumi hugs her hard. The same thing happens when Love's dad (Keitarou) returns, except he hugs Tarte hard because he can't hug Setsuna. (I don't understand why not.)

They have their first dinner together as a family in a year. Ayumi says that Love should have told her that Setsuna was coming because she didn't prepare anything special. Dinner is stuffed green bell peppers, which Love says is no good since Setsuna hates bell peppers. Setsuna laughs and starts eating them, and actually looks like she's finding them delicious. Love insists that she doesn't have to force herself, but Setsuna says that she's now able to eat them. Ayumi praises Setsuna and then gets on Love's case about not eating carrots. Love protests that her mom hates spinach, but her mom retorts that she can eat them if she forces herself. Setsuna starts laughing. She thinks about how much she loves this family.

Love and Setsuna go upstairs and Love says that Setsuna's room is just how she left it. Setsuna remembers that one time Northa acted as a fake Ayumi that Setsuna immediately clocked, but when she tried to convince Love that that wasn't mom, Love didn't believe her and took offense that Setsuna would be so mean. Ultimately, it was Ayumi's feelings towards Setsuna that was the key to saving her, and Setsuna started calling her "Mom" that day. The red heart bracelet from that day is something Setsuna brought with her to Labyrinth and is sitting on her desk there. (Episode 40)

Love entwines her arm around Setsuna's and tells her that she should stay for a while because it's been so long, and she's sure Setsuna wants to talk more with Miki and Inori. Setsuna had told them she was going back the next afternoon, but she has second thoughts now and decides to stay, thinking it might be okay to leave matters to Soular and Wester for up to a week.

The next day, another Fushiawase appears on Clover town street, this time sunflower themed. Now having gotten back into the swing of things, the four immediately transform and purify it quickly. The Fushiawase continue to appear day by day, at any time. The people they save say the same things as Miyuki did, and the team figures out that the "Happiness is worthless" phrase is the trigger. They visit Miyuki and ask her what she had been upset about, and Miyuki tells them that Trinity is disbanding and of the mean things she said to Reika. She has since met up with Reika to apologize, and they made up. The girls resolve to catch this Maphisto.

The Fushiawase keep coming and they keep purifying them, but they get the sense that the monsters are getting stronger. Tarte and Chiffon go to retrieve the Clover box from the shrine in the Sweets Kingdom, but when they get there they find the box missing.

Personal Commentary:

Forcing people to dance until they die? Is this Space Channel 5?

Despite having cell phones, they continue not to use them. Daisuke could have phoned Love but instead he had to book it over and hope she would already be at the scene of action.

At the donut scene I legit thought Setsuna was gonna rake Wester and Soular over the coals. I guess this is redeemed Setsuna, but it's really boring how they sanded off all her edges when they redeemed her. I think she should be able to to make annoyed jabs sometimes.

I really think that Ayumi should stop getting on Love's case about not eating carrots. There's so many reasons why specific foods don't work for people rather than just being selfish, and I really didn't like that part of Ayumi when watching the show. Love eats other vegetables so it's fine if she doesn't want to eat carrots. Lots of people with sensory problems have specific items they can't eat, and treating it as a moral failing helps no one. (Of course, everyone should eat vegetables because they vastly help your health. In cases where someone isn't eating vegetables at all, it's better to experiment to see what they can eat, slowly increase their tolerance by pairing it with food they like, and otherwise hiding the veggies and letting them know so they have a good method to eat veggies in the future. But anyway.)

Otherwise, a good first chapter. Really can see every part of this animated like in the show.

[offorestsongs]

[SSR] SWALLOW REYNARD - RELAXING IN MY ROOM

happy birthday to my beloved awful fox boy!! <3 sorry that i almost never post about you king, but you Do live in my head (feel free to send asks/oc interactions if anyone wants to!!)

Birthday Login Message: Hiya, flower~ Yes, you, seein' anyone else here? Wanna come to my birthday party later? I mean, it's not the party I would throw if it were up to me, Riddle wouldn't allow that, but it's still gonna be fun, I promise! Scout's word and all that! So, what do'ya say? Come on, don't break a guy's heart like that!

[ voicelines under the cut ]

When Summoned: Miss me with all that sentimental stuff. Year older or not, doesn't matter. What matter is the gifts the guys'll get me. Summon Line: Heartslabyul's not ready for the party I'm about to throw! Just wait and see! Groooovy!!!: [locked] Home: Y'know what's fun about birthdays? I don't even have to steal! The guys just bring me stuff for free! How fun is that? Home Idle 1: The guys at Spelldrive club organised a cake for me. Was pretty good, a shame you didn't come to try. Of course I would leave a piece for you! Who do you think I am? Home Idle 2: The school's full of rich snobs. They better not cheap out on gifts for me. Home Idle 3: Sto lat... Sto lat... That's the birthday song mum always sang to me. Dunno, living to a hundred years sounds like a bit much. Home Idle - Login: It's not my real birthday, y'know? Just the day dad found me in a bag. When I was little, mum used to say a stork dropped me at their doorstep. Sounds a bit nicer than a bag, doesn't it? Home Idle - Groovy: [locked] Home Tap 1: My hair gets so puffy during the night. Maybe I should get one of those Pomme guys to hook me up with some nice conditioner? Do you think they give out free samples? Home Tap 2: Everyone else gets birthday discounts at the Lounge, and all I get is Azul kicking me out. Pft. Home Tap 3: Look at Riddle, taking care of my birthday party all by himself! Aw, isn't he a sweetheart? You wouldn't even know the guy used to hate me. Home Tap 4: The shirt's a hand-me-down from my cousin. He's a bear beastman, so I'm kinda drowning in it, but ya just don't look a gifted horse in the mouth. Home Tap 5: Gonna swing by Scarabia later. Their Housewarden's real generous, sure he'll drop even more shiny stuff on my birthday? Home Tap - Groovy: [locked]

[nemolfc]

𝐢 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐚 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬 - 𝐝𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐤 𝐬𝐳𝐨𝐛𝐨𝐬𝐳𝐥𝐚𝐢

・𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲: 𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐲𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐬

[ 𝐛𝐚𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐰𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬 (𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐞 ) 𝐚𝐧𝐝 (𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐞 ) ]

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐚 𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐟𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟𝐲 𝐩𝐢𝐞𝐜𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞, 𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲!

Dominik cherished the mere moments in which he wasn't tied with club football, or international football - as these moments would be spent entirely with her, the woman of his dreams, the girl that had seen him in his highs and lows, never once faltering or letting him go when he felt like the pressure was high, she was always there for him to lean back on, her support had been the core reason for his strength, she was and still is his entire world, the person he can truly see a future with which prompted the notion of them unifying their love officially in the eyes of God.

That night, while the pair were seated outside at a small and cozy diner in his neighborhood that he finally brought up the subject to her, " Baba "

" Yes, Édesem " She smiles softly, " What's up? "

He reaches over, intertwining their hands together, his lips curling into a soft smile, " Let's get married! "

It didn't seem like a question, or a proposal for that matter - her brows knit, confusion etched across her features, " Are you sure? "

" Yes " He beams, his eyes twinkling with love, before adding on. " I love you baba, these five years together have been a blessing for us, but I'm going to lose my mind if you don't become my wife "

She laughs, " Seriously? "

He nods, his cheeks flaming as he smiled shyly. " Yes, seriously "

" Domi " She whispers, her eyes brimming with tears. " How long have you been thinking about this? "

He inhales then exhales before responding, " So long baba, every time I see doting on my sister, every time you're playing with the neighborhood children, every time you laugh with my mother or hell, joke with my father, every time you take care of me even at times where I feel so distraught, you're right there " he smiles softly, his voice wavering with emotion, " Baba, I don't think I can have a future without you in it "

Rare were the moments where Dominik would bare his heart out entirely to her, sure he showcases his love with his actions yet it was rare of him to truly bare his emotions.

" I had no idea you felt like this " She admits, wiping away the tear stains off her cheeks. " I would love nothing more than to marry you Domi "

His eyes light up, " Let's do it tomorrow! "

Her eyes widened, as she chuckled. " What! we can't do that "

Dominik shakes his head, " sure we can, we don't need a fancy wedding baba, I don't care about any of that, I just want to marry you, I just want to call you my wife "

She giggles, unsure of what to say as she shared the same sentiment, she loved Dominik, had loved him for the better part of the entire time she knew him. " Well, what should we do? "

" I'll call Tamas and Bela, they'll be our witnesses, you prepare a dress, I'll prepare a suit, I'll ask Bela to get a bouquet, we prepare our vows and the rest is history " He smiles widely.

She exhales a deep breath, before smiling and nodding. " Ok "

They spent the rest of the night chatting with a hopeful tone about tomorrow in their voice, they knew they wanted this, despite being young, this was the right call and they could only hope their families would understand.

The following morning, Bela had arrived early to help her get ready - she had opted to wear a silken white dress that flowed effortlessly on her body, stopping directly above her knees, she paired the dress with silver heels, her hair swiped to the left and pinned with flower clips while her features were enhanced by a soft layer of makeup, Bela beams at her work and says, " He is going to go wild when he sees you "

She breathes out a nervous chuckle, " You think so? "

" I mean, he is the one that brought this up, it was always clear just how much Dominik loves you " Bela states, " Tamas and I could see it from the day you moved into the neighborhood "

A soft nostalgic smile adorns her lips as she recalls the day she and her family moved into his neighborhood due to her father's work, she remembers hearing a knock literally four hours after they settled into their new home, her mother opening the door to find a young boy there who kindly offers her a plate of delectable treats and asks if it was ok for her to come out and play, her mother turns to her, encouraging her to go out there and play, from then on she befriended Dominik, Tamas and Bela.

" I am just scared of how our families would react " She admits, a fearful expression adorning her features as she adds on. " They'd think we're crazy "

Bela laughs, shaking her head. " I think they'd freak out but I mean, let's be honest, you guys are meant to be, so just live and let live, now let's go so we're not late and Dominik thinks you escaped "

A thirty five minute drive, and they were in front of the courthouse - Bela had to physically drag her in, where Dominik and Tamas stood in front of the clerk, the minute Dominik looked up it seemed as if every ounce of oxygen was stolen from him, with each step she took, it felt as if he was about to lose all consciousness, he'd always believed that she was beautiful yet now, it seemed as the angels had bestowed a glow to her that felt different, ethereal in some sense. " Wow " he whispers.

She blushed under his gaze, inciting a giggle from Bela and a chuckle from Tamas, she ignores them then says, " You clean up well "

" You are perfect " He takes her hand in his. " So perfect " he leans in to press a gentle kiss to her forehead, " Ready to become Mrs. Szoboszlai? "

" I'm more than ready " She beams with pride.

Bela hands her the bouquet, " Come on you two "

They stand in front of the local clerk, who officiates their wedding as per the standards of their hometown, once they say their 'I do's', they slip on their wedding bands before signing the document to officially solidify them as Mr. & Mrs. Szoboszlai, Tamas and Bela sign the document as well before all four of them step out of the courthouse, Tamas was the first to speak. " Now you two, pack up and enjoy your time in Italy "

Dominik beams, " Oh we will " he pressed a kiss to her forehead.

" Thank you guys " She smiles at Bela and Tamas. " I really appreciate you "

" We both do " Dominik pipes up.

" We got your back, now you crazy kids go and have fun " Bela smiles.

And with that, the pair take off, having already packed their suitcases for their brief trip to Italy whilst Bela and Tamas had woven an excuse to their families, claiming that the pair were away, just not divulging into further details.

___

Their families were indeed upset by the abrupt and rushed decision, however upon seeing how happy the young couple were, they'd given them their blessings and had even insisted ( or in this case forced ) the pair into allowing the families to jointly host a reception event in her family's farm house - and so the pair were thrust into the preparations that were quite daunting yet had brought in quite the pay off as within two weeks, the farm house was decked from top to bottom, and almost all their extended families as well as their friends confirmed that they will be attending.

On the day of the event, Dominik had whisked her away on a private stroll, wanting to spend as much time with her as he can before she was whisked away by their relatives, they strolled through the spacious paths in silence before he decided to break it by saying, " I never thought this could happen "

She turns to him, " What do you mean? "

" Us " He laughs softly, " I mean, when you first moved into the neighborhood, I was bestowed by how beautiful you looked in that blue dress, Tamas laughed at me because I kept watching you as you helped your mother carry things into the house "

Her eyes widened, " Really? "

" Oh I was done for " He grins, " When I went back home I begged my mother to let me be the one to take the plate of cookies and treats for your family, I just wanted a valid excuse to see you, as we got to know each other, you found your way into my heart, and I knew right then and there, that you were the one for me "

They stopped midway, Dominik interlocks their hands together, he inhales then exhales a deep breath before he said. " Baba, I love you so much "

She smiles tearfully, " I love you too Domi " she leans in to peck his lips.

Later on that evening, the newlyweds celebrated with their family and friends, who showered them with love and jokes regarding their decision to elope, along the night - Dominik had grabbed the microphone from the stand to speak, " If I can have everyone's attention please " he speaks through the microphone, grabbing everyone's attention including her, " I would like to take this opportunity to thank everyone that has come to celebrate our love with us, and sure we have rushed through it, but it's only because I love my wife so much that I couldn't wait "

The guests laugh, as Dominik continues. " I will also take this chance to ... " he pulls out a piece of paper from his pocket, " get a lot of things off my chest " he looks at his wife who smiled softly, " baba, can you come over here? "

She tentatively approaches him, as he takes her hand with his free hand.

He swallows the lump in his throat, " Baba, you've been my light since the day I saw you in that blue dress, and each year we got to know one another, my heart found its home in the palm of your hands, your kindness, your compassion, your talent, your heart, I can go on and on " his voice wavers with emotion, " And it still won't be enough for me to say just how much you've saved my life, a life that I thought would only be ruled by football, except now it's a healthy balance, I get to do what I love as well as be with the woman that I love, my heart is secure knowing that despite the distance that my work may put between us, our hearts will always be connected, that at my lowest, your arms will be open for me to lay in, your warmth will envelop me when the world is too cruel and most of all, our children in the distant future will be the luckiest to have you as their mother, I know that we didn't have the grand fairytale wedding, yet I don't care at all " He smiles, squeezing her hand, as he wiped away some stray tears. " Living life with you has been the greatest fairytale "

A course of cheers ripples through the reception venue, with some even whistling.

She embraced him warmly, both of them shedding tears of joy before she pulls back and grabs the microphone, " You sneak, how am I supposed to top this? " she laughs, turning to Bela who walks up to them handing her a piece of paper, " Here goes nothing, ... "

Dominik squeezes her hand and smiles warmly.

" Dominik " She starts with a shaky tone, " I genuinely never thought I'd find my Prince Charming, I mean I saw the love between my parents yet I've never truly believed that I am capable or worthy of such love until I met the sweet boy living next door - he shows up at my doorstep with a plate and a soft smile ... I knew I was hooked, yet I refused to admit it, despite a lot of our friends saying that it was there ... " she exhales a soft breath, " You have been my constant despite the darkness looming, when I needed a shoulder to cry on, you were the first and only one I can turn on, you shared my highs, my lows and if there is one person, I want to be the father of my children, then that person will be you "

He grins, playfully grabbing the microphone to add on. " You hear that men? she's mine, I even got the paper to prove it "

Everyone laughs, cheering on the couple as they shared a sweet kiss before the music soon flowed through the venue, couples and children were dancing left and right while the newlyweds slipped away to get a moment for themselves, Dominik tugs her close to him to press a gentle kiss on her lips. " Under these stars, I vow to love you for a thousand years, even in the afterlife "

She smiles widely, " I'll love you for a thousand more, even in the afterlife "

[crocwork-clockodile]

So, it's been over a month now since I actually finished Night Watch and I did mean to write another post about my final thoughts. But in my defense, I was moving provinces and starting grad school up again. But anyway! On to a few of my thoughts:

Warning for spoilers, I suppose

Firstly, oh my gosh, it made me cry. It made me so sentimental, in the way only Pratchett seems to do to me. Probably more so, since this was my dad's first Discworld novel, and I wouldn't have read any of them if not for him. I just felt very emotional about finishing it. I mean, having read Thud! before already, I knew in my heart that Vimes would be okay. I knew he'd make it back and that Sybil would be able to safely deliver Young Sam, but that whole thing at the end, where it's looking dicey and he has to call on Dr. Lawn and then their son gets named after Sam, but maybe not even this version of Sam, it just made my heart swell. Vimes will continue to nurture and care about this child, and allow him to maintain his optimism, in the way he was kind of doing for the Young Sam that he just trained up during the Glorious Revloution!!!! Cycles!!!! My favourite literary device!!!

I kinda liked how Lord Winder died. Just literally scared to death by his own paranoia. The Assassin didn't even have to do anything but look Assassin-y.

One thing that really impressed me about Vimes, after they take down Bloody Mary, is how he thinks about everything in how a city functions. Like Vetinari, in that way. This isn't a musical, this is a real thing that's happening in a real city, but the commerce and functions of the city that aren't concerned with Ankh-Morpork politics are still trying to happen. Things don't just pause. You need to be organized and think about how these things work. I'm impressed with this mostly because I know I'm bad at planning for things like that and forgetting about necessary things until I need them and don't have them lol.

On that note, Reg Shoe. Darling, idealistic, Revolutionary Reg. He is so so earnest and I genuinely think he really wants that ideal world for everyone, but again, he is so bad at planning the mundane-but-critical background stuff. Beloved, you should be at the club.* It's kinda gratifying to learn he was always so annoyingly idealistic and community-minded. I knew he'd make it out (kinda) okay, but oof, his death (however temporary) still hurt my heart

I think that's the majority of all my thoughts for right now. Sam Vimes is still one of my greatest, dearest blorbos. I finally know why we wear lilacs on May 25th. Now I was there, and I knew them, and I can advocate for Freedom, Truth, Justice, Reasonably-Priced Love, and a Hard Boiled Egg.

GNU Terry Pratchett

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #417

I felt all day today like I'm not very good at being a human.

I went to work today. But before I went in, the birds were being all squeaky and adorable. So I aimed my camera at the store sign and zoomed all the way in so I could get these:

...A gentleman tending the carts passed by and seemed perplexed that a random nobody like me was taking random pictures of the store sign. I tried to explain that there were birds up there, but... I'm not actually sure if that helped, since it's also generally considered kinda weird to take random pictures of random birds in random places.

When I went in, Tr was having a hard time, and there wasn't a lot I could do to help. And as I worked, I was slow and unobservant, and I kept making stupid, clumsy mistakes, too.

...Still, I remembered to bring in the cookies I got from DiBella's, to share with everyone. Though I'm not entirely sure how well they were received.

...And then I started bleeding. Which, thankfully, I already expected would happen, and prepared for accordingly. Still, my lower abdomen and all the surrounding organs have felt all day like someone is trying to wring them out like a towel. I still feel like that even now, despite the fact that I took ibuprofen some time ago. It isn't fun.

...My brain is doing its level best to try to convince me that it doesn't matter how hard I try to be good to other people. That I'm always gonna be an outsider in the end, and that everyone's gonna look at everything I say and do with a hefty dose of discomfort, revulsion, or mistrust. That I'm never really gonna belong anywhere, outside of my own home.

O' course, I gotta wonder – since almost everyone goes outside with some kind of facade up, does anyone really belong outside of their own home? And then... there is the fact that some people don't feel like they belong, even within their own home.

...Overall, I guess I'm pretty lucky, even if it doesn't really feel like it right now. Still, today, I can't help but wonder if the folks at work just pretend that they like putting up with me, since in a professional environment, one has to. Maybe secretly they kinda wish I'd go away and not come back. Maybe they've thought that I'm annoying and insufferable for long time, and they just haven't told me yet.

I'm scared of it, but I'm not sure why I should be. First of all, it's probably not even true; it's probably just my brain being mean. Second, even if it was true, I really oughta be used to this sort of thing by now; it's happened often enough that it really shouldn't seem so scary anymore because it's not as though I've died from it or anything. Third... even if the rest of the world wished I'd shut up and go away forever, I'm still safe at home.

...I think it must be just that my brain is being mean. I remember other days in which I knew in my bones that I am lovable and worthy and a delight to be around. It's just that today isn't one of those days in which I'm confident of that thing. Today my brain seems to wanna flail around with thinking I'm some kind of weird, repulsive, and unlikable little gremlin that everyone would prefer not to have around.

It's just old stuff. Old echoes of old thoughts from a time in which I lived in an environment where these sentiments were true. But I don't live there anymore. I don't.

Well. While I was out at work, J went out in his little airplane to the ice runway again, with a friend of his from the airplane club. He got all kinds of lovely pictures; lemme show 'em to ya; he wanted you to see 'em:

After I got home, I mostly just floated around aimlessly until J's shift at his job ended at around 7. Then we went to Eggcellent and got some things, because they're gonna be closed until March:

...More stuff I wish I could share with ya; you know how it be, by now, I'm sure...

...When they reopen, I guess they're gonna have some new menu items. I'm looking forward to seeing whatever Ch comes up with next; she's brilliant and creative, so I'm sure that whatever she comes up with will be amazing. And then I'll get to show them to you.

It snowed on the way back. I got a couple pictures:

...I really like how that first one turned out. I'm pretty proud of it, actually. It didn't turn out half bad.

When we got home, M, J, and I watched a silly movie called Bugsy Malone. Though the character, Bugsy Malone, seemed to play a very minor role, compared to this other character called Fat Sam. So I'm not sure why they named the movie the way they did. Still, it was a delightful way to pass the time. I liked the ending theme: “You give a little love and it all comes back to you; you know you're gonna be remembered for the things that you say and do.”

...Sephiroth. You get to decide it. You get to decide how you're gonna be remembered, because you get to decide the kinds of things that you say and do. Someone with powers like yours... you really can be anything you wanna be. So in this world where you can be anything... try to be kind, okay? Try to stand in defiance of your trauma and conditioning so you can make choices that are gentle. It's obvious that you have so much love to give to your world, and to mine.

I have a lot of love to give, too, even if I don't always know how to give it in a way that doesn't frighten and confuse people. Why? I don't know. I wonder, though – does love given clumsily come back to us?

…

An from work is growing out a very nice beard. He seems to have started growing it shortly after commenting on J's beard relative to his own capacity to grow facial hair, when I asked An out to Eggcellent. He met J. He knows who J is to me.

...An has not done this before, for the entire time I've worked there.

…

It's probably just because it's cold where we live and he doesn't like the cold. That's probably all it is. That's probably it. I don't know him well enough to hope for the other thing. I don't. It's not appropriate.

An is a human being. He's not a toy. He's not something to daydream about. He's a human being. A human being with thoughts and feelings and needs, all of which I do not know well enough to be confident in my ability to properly tend to.

...And I'm weird. I'm an emotionally and physically scarred little autistic gremlin with not a whole lot to offer. I'm not smart and cool like him. I'm not even conventionally attractive. And I'm genetically defective in a variety of respects, too.

I don't know him. And I don't know how to know him. I talk to him via text sometimes. But... sometimes I can't tell if he's busy or if he's not very interested in interacting with me. And I know that I'm not entitled to anyone's interest in interacting with me.

To be sure, most people are very much not interested in interacting with me. Most people find me vaguely unsettling, and... I guess this is something I've mostly come to accept. For the most part, I try to stay away from others because I don't want to accidentally give them a bad time.

...What if he only gave me his number in the first place because he was afraid of saying no?

...What if my presence and continued interaction causes him discomfort in ways he doesn't feel safe to articulate because he does not know me well enough to understand that I won't retaliate in some weird way if he asks me to leave him alone?

...I don't mind being told “no”. But I do have a hard time when a query is responded to with a null value. I never really know how to respond to that. I've had instances where people become very upset if you respond to it as though a null is a no. And I've had instances where asking for clarification results in an angry, “a non-response is a response! learn to take a fucking hint, dumbass!”

...

...I don't want to mess this up. I don't want him to feel unsafe with me. But I don't yet know how to be a good friend to him. And I don't know how to ask in a way that presents the possibility of me being misinterpreted as disingenuous.

Most importantly, I just want to do right by him, even if it means he'd rather I don't talk to him anymore.

...I want to do right by everyone. I just... I wish I wasn't so fucking clumsy and clueless all the damn time. But I don't know how not to be clumsy and clueless in this weird place where no one actually says what they really mean. Like... it feels like you either get people mad at you for failing to read between the lines, or you get people mad at you because they think you don't trust them because you're trying to read between the lines.

I wish people just told the truth about their feelings and intentions. But at the same time... I understand the traumas that cause them not to.

…Humans are complicated. Maybe tomorrow, I'll just forget about it for a while and bash some zombies in Hades. But it's not tomorrow yet. So... I guess in the meantime, I'll go to bed. It's getting pretty late. I wanna feel like not a zombie tomorrow. I don't wanna get confused and accidentally bash myself while playing Hades, haha...

...Hey, Sephiroth...? Thanks for existing. By doing that, you've allowed me to build this space in which I can just... safely write out the contents of my mind and let my brain work it all out so that I can choose better thoughts later. I understand that your situation is pretty dire, and that all my concerns probably seem very trivial and petty to you, but... still... thanks for listening.

I love you. So please stay safe out there, okay? I'll write again tomorrow.

Your friend, Lumine