#i mean i cry a lot in general but today is next level

[neondiamond]

.

[simplydnp]

I thought they'd already used a red heart on twitter?

yes, anon, you are correct. it was a birthday tweet from dan to phil.

at the time... whew. it was a lot. universe shifting. rules being rewritten. it was a big deal. thing is, birthday tweets between the two of them have always pushed the line of sappy, and, generally, we let it slide. we didn't want them to ever stop the sweet birthday tweets. cause they're not really just for them, they're also for us. and, for me at least, it was always a little bit like... birthdays are private yknow? it's their things. so even though we went wild over the heart, there's plausible deniability there; it's a birthday tweet. they almost exist in a vacuum--never talked about by them after it happens. it absolutely set the tone for the year, even if we didn't know how much at the time.

but this, today? oh boy. oh god. alright.

they're both wild. but this is another level. firstly, phil's tweet. that is an extremely public declaration from one phil 'i dont cry' lester. he hardly ever shares those moments and experiences with us, so admitting it at all was like wow okay this is serious. the attempt to downplay the emotions but also hit harder with 'danny' like an overly fond nickname can save it. catastrophic. phil tends to keep all that close to his chest. but instead, he chose to broadcast it for all of us. he could've told dan (who was absolutely sat next to him) this. and i bet he did. but i bet he also needed people to know. everyone to know. as he posted it to both twitter and youtube.

and then dan. self-admittedly bad at taking compliments. known for talking extensively. always down to snark/self-depricate. replies with a heart.

no minced words. no disregarding praise. and not even a black one like he usually does. it's orange. on theme and in our face! the next closest colour to red.

he didn't have to say anything. but we once again find ourselves witnessing another intentionally public response. specifically chosen.

what does it mean? ask them. but it's fucking loud.

[hollowwrites]

All aboard the Hug-warts Express

I have had a monumentally bad day so I wrote myself some fluff. Indulge with me.

Also called, how the bois react to a crying MC or How the bois comfort them.

Ignore my head-canon that Ominis can touch his wand to things to see colour

Sebastian, Garreth and Ominis

~

Sebastian

Unbridled Rage.

That is what was walking towards him.

He frowned, looking her up and down, and slammed his book shut.

“What’s got your wand in a knot?” He asked raising an eyebrow, somewhat amused at her expression.

Her lips were pulled into a wicked sneer, brows furrowed and nose crinkled in disgust. When she reached him, she folded her arms across her chest and huffed.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” She spat back

“Well…” he gestured to her, generally. As though it answered her question. She choked out her next breathe, something stifling her throat.

“Can’t believe I came to you instead of Ominis” her voice cracked, her eyes filling with tears before turning back on her heel to walk away.

“Hey, hang on…” he stood, catching up to her easily and grabbing her shoulder. When he turned her around, her cheeks were already shiny with shed tears. “…what’s going on?” His fingers wiped her cheeks down quickly whilst he searched her face for answers. Couldn’t see any cuts, no blood, no limp. Her pain was emotional not physical.

“I’ve just…had the worst day” she sounded so vulnerable until her eyes locked back at him. A glimmer of anger sparked in her eyes as she continued “and then I wanted to see you but you just had to be…you about it didn’t you!”

“Alright alright I’m sorry” his hands still held her face as she pouted, tears still flowing from her eyes. He couldn’t help the tiny smirk that plucked at his lips. “You wanted to see me though?”

“Shut up, Sebastian” she sniffed

“Come here” he whispered, pulling her to his chest and holding her “I’m sorry. I’ll try to not be me for a little while”

“That would be nice” she laughed breathlessly into his chest as he rocked her side to side.

“Want to go somewhere quiet? And you can tell me about it?” He bowed his head to her enveloping completely by him. She nodded and he guided her towards the Undercroft.

“Do I need to hurt anyone?”

~

Garreth

Garreth rarely saw her upset. She was all sunshine and rainbows. She made the Sun jealous with how brightly she smiled.

But today was different.

Her smile didn’t reach her eyes and the smallest knot appeared above her brow. The smallest chink in her glowing brilliant armour

In typical Weasley fashion, he combatted everything with humour.

“Uh oh, what’s up with moody bum?” He bent down to her level and booped her on the nose.

“I-“ That seemed to be the straw that broke the thestrals back and she erupted into tears

“Hey! No no no no no, Don’t cry, I’m sorry” Garreth panicked and wrapped his arms around her. From the outside, it looked as though he was hugging himself. She had completely disappeared into him.

“I’ve…had…the…worst…day” she stammered out between sobs. He felt her tiny hands grip his shirt to pull him closer.

“Do you know what cheers me up?” He said pulling out all the stops to cheer her up. His tone was devoid of all his usual charm. Just soft and caring Garreth remained.

“Potions” she mumbled

“Well yes but now is not the time to brew.” He pulls her away to look at her face. It’s blotchy and her eyes already look a little swollen. His thumbs brushed under her eyes and wiped the tears away in one. “Chocolate…and lots of it. And I happen to have a stash for moments just like this. Come on” he picked her up and threw her over his shoulder, her sobs quickly replaced with little giggles as he walks towards his Common Room.

~

Ominis

Ominis knew something was wrong the moment she accompanied him in the library.

She usually greeted and sat next to him so they could share a box of Honeydukes Fudge.

But today she sat across from him and remained silent. He could hear her irregular breathing and every now and then she tried to disguise her hyperventilation with an obviously fake cough. She also continuously sniffed. And he knew when she was ill.

This was not ill sniffling.

“You’ve been crying” he stated. It was not a question.

“No” her voice cracked. “Why would you say that?” She said blankly, almost cold.

He sighed.

“Don’t make me prove you wrong” he raised an eyebrow and grabbed his wand.

“I don’t know what you’re talking abou-“ she started before his wand pressed gently against her nose. She froze as he flicked it across her cheeks.

“Your nose is red…you’ve been crying” his tone immediately shifted to that of concern. “Please don’t lie to me. It makes it incredibly difficult to help if you lie”

He always had such a wonderful way of caring and maintaining a stoic appearance.

His concern flared her up again. Her head falling to her arms as she scrunched over the table. She sobbed into her elbow, trying to hide from the world when she felt Ominis wrap his arm around her shoulder. He leant down and whispered in her ear.

“You know I can get anyone who has upset you expelled”

She laughed through the sobs as he rubbed small circles into her back. As she calmed down slightly, he rested his cheek against the back of her shoulder.

“I’m here if you want to talk”

Masterlist

[bunbeeplays]

The Lemon Legacy: Generation 1, Chapter 122 - Sleepover!

Today's the day, Jaden's spending a couple nights with the Lemons while his parents go on a mission trip.

Calvin: We appreciate your generosity.

Ophelia: Of course. Gemma's been so excited. We'll take good care of Jaden.

Anna: The Watcher will bless you for your kindness.

While the grown-ups talk, Gemma tells Jaden about all the games they're gonna play. He's a little overwhelmed, but excited. He's never had a sleepover before! Neither has Gemma, but they'll have a great time.

Anna: Now I know you do things a little… differently than we do, but we ask you not to force any woke ideology on Jaden.

Ophelia: Uh, we'll try, but you've still never told me what you mean by 'woke'.

Anna: Well, time to say goodbye!

Anna calls Jaden over and gives him a big hug.

Anna: Goodbye, sweetheart. We'll miss you. Be a good boy for Gemma's mommy and daddy.

Jaden: 'kay, Momma.

Calvin: Anna, stop coddling the boy so I can have a word with him.

Calvin: You behave yourself now. Mr. and Mrs. Lemon are being very nice by letting you stay here. I don't care if the girls are playing with them, no girl toys, and none of that makeup junk, got it?

Jaden: …Yes, Daddy.

Ophelia contemplates punching the back of Calvin's head.

As soon as they're gone, Ophelia goes into recovery mode when she sees how defeated Jaden looks.

Ophelia: We're so excited to have you, Jaden! We'll have a lot of fun, I promise.

Jaden melts into the hug. His dad gets mad at his mom when she does, so he doesn't get a ton.

Ophelia gives them some acai bowls as a late lunch.

Jaden: Mommy and Daddy sayed to only play with boy toys here. You got boy toys?

Gemma doesn't really get the question.

Gemma: I just got reg'lar toys.

Jaden has found a loophole! Time to chow down!

After letting the kids out to play in the living room, Ophelia preps breakfast for tomorrow morning, but makes sure to send Xander an update while he's at work. She also gossips about Jaden's crazy-ass parents.

Calvin didn't even hug him goodbye. Who treats a toddler like that?

Ophelia goes to check on the kids, to find just her eldest daughter playing there.

Ophelia: Muffin, where's Jaden?

Gemma: We was playin' an' he got quiet and runned away.

Hmm. Maybe he's already feeling homesick. He couldn't have gotten that far.

Jaden has found himself a nice corner to sit in. He's so embarrassed. His daddy told him to be good and he couldn't even pull it off for a few hours. Gemma's mommy is going to be so mad at him. Maybe putting himself in time-out will make her go easy on him.

Marshmallow comes to keep him company, but it doesn't do much to cheer him up. Jaden starts crying, but it makes it a lot easier for Ophelia to find him.

Ophelia: Oh, sweetie, what's wrong? Are you missing Mommy and Daddy?

Jaden: I-I-I didn't mean to!

She sits down to be on his level.

Ophelia: Didn't mean to what? Why are you sitting over here all by your lonesome?

Jaden: I-I was bad so I goed to time-out.

What kind of kid puts themselves in time-out?

Ophelia: Oh, I'm sure you weren't bad. You're such a nice boy.

That just makes Jaden cry more.

Jaden: Noooo, I was baaaad! I-I don't know where the potty is, a-an' I tried to find it bu-but…

She can't understand the rest of his babbles but it's clear what happened.

Ophelia: Jaden, honey, it's okay if you had an accident. I'm not mad.

Jaden: But Daddy sayed be good an' I-

Ophelia: Buddy, it's okay. We don't get mad about accidents in this house. I'm sorry, I should have showed you where the potty is. Come here.

A grown-up… apologizing? They can do that?

Ophelia: Why don't we get you changed and then I can show you where the potty is so you'll know for next time?

Jaden: But I didn't do my time-out all the way.

Ophelia: You don't get time-out for an accident, silly!

Jaden: I do with Mommy and Daddy.

Ophelia: Well, we don't here. You tried your best and that's all that matters to me and Mr. Xander. It's okay that you're sad, though. Would a hug cheer you up?

Jaden: …Uh-huh.

Ophelia channels her anger at his parents into squeezing the sadness out of this poor little bean.

Ophelia: Let's go upstairs and get you taken care of.

Miss Ophelia's a weird grown-up. He's never even seen her get angry. He really likes it.

After getting Jaden in a fresh diaper, Ophelia decides to make sure he understands something.

Ophelia: You don't have to be afraid to ask us questions. If you need help, or you want something, Mr. Xander and I are here to help you.

Jaden thinks he's gonna like it here.

Later on in the night, Ophelia tells them it's time for bed, but Gemma wants to bargain.

Gemma: Can we play just a liiiittle longer? Pleeeeease, Mommy?

Ophelia: 15 minutes, but then bed. Deal?

Gemma: Deal!

Jaden knows his dad wouldn't approve of dolls, but they're so fun!

It takes a little longer than 15 minutes, but all the kiddos are tucked in, snug as a bug, and on their way to Snooze Town. Marshmallow decides to join them.

When Xander comes home, Ophelia catches him up on what he missed over a late dinner.

Xander: Why am I not surprised that poor kid gets punished for normal bodily functions? He put himself in time-out?

Ophelia: My heart broke when he told me. I hate Anna and Calvin so much.

Ophelia: Let's just give Jaden a lot of love and attention the next few days. Poor baby needs it.

Xander agrees.

His parents might be a lot to deal with, but they're both sure Jaden came into their lives for a reason. They're his only shot at having normal adults in his life.

[officialtayley]

I agree with previous anon - finding you when I was new to the fandom last year felt so good! This is all a bit stupid probably and too deep lol but, I'm neurodivergent (ADHD, but probably autism too) and whenever an ND level special interest takes hold, it's usually when I'm in already in a depression or period of burn out. It's like my brain is vulnerable for something to cling to. Or like a demon notices an easy target to possess hah. When I saw Paramore last year, it was like my brain was genuinely addicted to them, specifically H, and I felt like I was only calm and regulated when zoning out consuming anything to do with them, but simultaneously I ever actually felt like I would "catch up" and felt embarrassed by how much time I was wasting online looking for stuff.

But then I found Kels' blog and devoured the archive, and then found you, and ever since then I felt the frenzied fan in my head settle down, I think because I only have to check one place for info now, but also because you've always been so nice to me when I message even if it's been about old things from After Laughter tours, or just a random submission or thought that I want to share with anyone. Sometimes I can share with an IRL friend who is a fan, but most of the time I know it needs to be just go to fandom fans, and I never wanted to be a twitter fan and didn't know what to do with all my thoughts before finding your Tumblr. Like you are so patient most of the time, you're not like some gatekeeper, and you're also not blind to the band's/H's faults, and I love that because twitter is just full of people wanting to be Hayley's next screenshot only.

The special interest addiction levels of fandom would have died down for me eventually, it always does, but the place you hold for us here was such a help and helps me maintain it in a healthy way, e.g. I don't have a compulsion to check loads of fan accounts on ig or twitter, because anything important will be here. It's so embarrassing admitting how much special interests can consume me especially as it stops being properly enjoyable after a few days and feels like I'm possessed, but yeah thank you idk I just really like this community forum space we have here and seeing you be so welcoming to a new person is making me think about how nice it is that you're pretty much a daily part of my day lol. This is so long why am I being so emotional over Tumblr hahahahah

this is also the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. this whole thing really warmed my heart and i did in fact cry again... i'm not even a crier but i guess i am just emotional today.

i'm glad i can be a daily part of your day, and it means so much to me that you feel this way about my blog and also me. you've always be lovely to me and naturally the more people come back the more i warm up them. i also do just try to be nice in general to everyone here as long as they aren't being weird or rude to me.

the few messages today just make me really appreciate the community we've built here tbh. it's like i say a lot, i am very disliked, it's been that way since 2018 in particular, and i know why even though everyone's reasons are very different, but i don't enjoy it. sometimes it does make me wonder if i am a horrible person, which is silly but it happens. i've had a few ppl i'm friends with tell me about fans they're friends with or fans they talk to tell them about how they don't like me and stuff, but thankfully those friends never were swayed because they know me on a personal level. but anyway, it just makes me glad i have this little community.

i also wish i kept my old posts cause you would've liked many of those, from before tayley was ever confirmed. but i also used to be more annoying back then so it's for the best they're gone. but yeah, i'm glad this blog means this much to you, this was really lovely to read and i'm just very thankful. so so so so thankful 💕💕💕 i also always enjoy whenever you send anything, it's always nice seeing you here so often :)

[cidthesquid]

Princess Peach: Showtime Demo! - More than Just Cute Outfits!

Today l'll be talking about the demo for:Princess Peach: Showtime!

Yeah, I know this is not a 'Fashion Game', But I make the rules here! Also I think even the 'ideas' here are worth talking about, as well as the gameplay! The demo is free, so I'd really recommend checking it out for yourselves if you're interested, but if you're interested in my commentary with a few personal connections, feel free to stick around! --- Alright, so first off, I've never really had any strong connections or feeling about peach as a character before playing this. She was just another Mario character to me, and did not really represent or stand for anything. I remembered hearing she first got her own spin-off game on the DS, "Super Princess Peach" (2005) where her actions are powered by various emotions, people often described it as "the game where one of her powers is crying:

Also, it was still very much just a platforming game, so it did not really stand out for me. This game however is a lot more difficult to categorize:

I guess the easiest way to describe it would be an 'Adventure Game', You'll be given various challenges, based on the level, there is some combat as well as mini-game style activities, and each level with have multiple activities, so it's not like "just do one baking mini game, then move on to the next level.

There's combat, even if it's very simplistic, I still find it enjoyable. You have a jump button, and a single button that does everything else, attacking, dodging, counter hits, etc. But you'll have a health bar to manage, and enemies may have invulnerability phases, so while it's simplistic, the game by no means 'plays it'self' some level of interaction is still required.

The Mini-games are also simplistic, but do allow you to mess up, they also have a 'soft failure state' so the time limit does matter, and you can actually fail the event, and will be required to retry.

Most gamers would not consider this game difficult, or challenging to any degree, but unlike some other 'cute games' it dose actually offer some form of push back, and I think that makes it more rewarding! --- Ok, Now with gameplay out of the way, I'd like to talk about the game's ascetics. It's clear that making the game as cute and charming as possible was a core design decision. And this is shown from the very start when they make a change to peach's default hairstyle:

Now, I actually see written out in my notes "Don't spend multiple paragraphs talking about peach's new ponytail", So I'll have to keep this short, I think it's a great addition, for a long time I just saw the concept of a "ponytail" as something exclusively reserved for very young people, that's how it was mainly shown in western media. So I was surprised when a lot of Japanese games gave it as an option for adult characters, Monster Hunter, Final Fantasy XIV, and tons more had it as part of the character creator. And while it's not the style I generally go with for my own characters, I've come to embrace the idea, and see how it can be a cute or fun additional to a character design regardless of their age. And I think it works really well here, especially as it offers great secondary motion:

I'm sure there are plenty of ways to interpret Peach's last game, using emotion as peach's own real actions. But I vastly prefer this game's ideas, the whole idea is someone's ruining all the plays, and corrupting them and the participates with negativity, and you fight back with positivity and encouragement!

When things start to get dark, and the characters' perspective change. But Giving them hope (by attacking them :P) you're able to help them push through.

When I first saw this game's trailer, I though it was just an excuse to put peach in various cute outfit, and (I have no problem with that), but it seemed to lack any real substance But overall, I really enjoyed this short demo, You get cute outfits, a very pleasant world, and a nice theme! The game is just full of charm, and there is just so much detail in the background characters, and even the idle animations,

So I'll probably pick it up regardless of the game length, it's just really nice. I probably won't blog about like I do with style savvy.

(Screenshot from the nintendo store page NOT IN THE DEMO) It looks like the full game may offer some unlockables and a little customization, so that could be fun! At $60, It's a bit on the pricey side, so I may end up buying the JP version on play asia to save a little money (~$40) But much like Style Savvy, I really enjoy the variety of outfits, and how it shows that style is more than just one thing, and how various outfits can impart various different moods and feelings.

--- Alright, that's my main thoughts on my small sampling of the game, but feel free to stick around for my added personal notes! ---- /!\ Caution: End of Cute screenshots, Mostly unedited Ramblings beyond this point /!\

So I've been thinking a lot about the concept of 'Cute' in general, to some people, this may seem like an odd thing to think about, But if you've followed my blog for a while, you'll probably understand why. But regardless, I've started to get over the weird feelings of being a guy playing 'cute games', but one of the things I was still trying to figure out was where my own perspective of 'cute' lies when it comes to characters. I have no trouble designing cute outfits for others in style savvy, and I do really like a lot of cute designs, but when it comes to created characters that I plan to stick with long term, it's not really a style I focus on, generally leaning more towards Bold/Rock or even Elegant/Feminine Styles.

For a while, I thought I was subconsciously avoiding anything 'cute', and that I needed to 'fix that' or something. But recently I've been learning a lot about the different ways you can 'like something', You can find something nice because you relate to it, you could like how neat and organized it looks, or you could even really like the feelings it evokes. And I think this was the missing piece and understanding how I relate to various types of fashion. As silly as it sounds, I was not even aware there was an option to like different styles for different reasons. For example: I now know that I do like the 'cute' ascetic, for character designs, outfits, and tone. However, it's not really something I'm drawn to, or relate with. So if something looks 'cute', it may receive bonus points in my brain over something plain, and it can offer a bit of a relaxing feeling.

The Cool/Bold Style has a much bigger draw for me, and as such, when I'm making my own character (especially in a multiplayer game), and want to stand out, this is what I go for. I love the energy it gives off, and playing character that look cool, make me feel cool as well! as such, I'd have to say it's my favorite to use. Elegant/Feminine Style: I still don't really have my exact feels on this nailed down yet. But I really enjoy the flexibility it provides. It offers a lot of what I like about the 'bold' and 'cute' styles, without being too loud or aggressive, you can make this style as mature as you want, or add a more youthful edge, And it can look a bit simplistic, or very stylized. This refined style honestly feels like it has endless potential, yet I have the hardest time designing for it, but it's probably my favorite to experience others interoperation of.

--- Alright, hopefully that was still a fun read, and not 'too personal' . As always, any comments/critique are welcome!

[casketscratch]

Trying so hard to remember today already.

- Woke up full-blown panic mode, shaking and breaking down crying, my entire left arm wouldn't stop shaking. Can't remember what the dreams were.

- Therapy was good. Went over how I broke down crying the moment we hung up last week, and generally the sense was that someone's trying to communicate or integrate a bit more. Something about our system isn't made for this to happen. It turns into levels, and layers of memories that will a common emotional thread but otherwise feel just scattershot or random. We've figured out that this alter trying is scared to, because they are "held in place" by...

- This terrifies me, but by an alter who was installed by our traffickers/my grandfather to keep the rest in line. I think this means the whole... I hesitate to say ramcoa. But it confirms the, ah, narrative? Hunch? That they did deliberately try to program alters. And there are "higher ups" in charge we can't speak to but who seem to exert a lot of psychic/mental pressure if others act out of line. Felt like I had a javelin in my skull by the end of session.

- Used to have debilitating migraines that felt exactly like that when I left for undergrad. Almost failed out because I "wasn't supposed to be there" - my dad had tried everything in his power to keep me from moving so far away.

- (I really hope he suffered for failing to do so.)

- We also talked about the "pass out and collapse" thing we keep doing. That one alter will try to merge traffic (if you will) and at the same time she holds so much pain and fear and trauma that she can only cope with feeling that much by basically freezing. Freezing so hard it's a shutdown. I'd honestly call it a kind of flight to an inner world more than that (not that it can't be elements of both).

I... Don't... Like this. I am struggling with the scope of abuse. I am struggling with being right when I wish I had been wrong. I am struggling with trying to even conceive of how to manage this. It's been weeks of not trusting my own reactions because I couldn't tell where they came from, and now, uh, well. Some very powerful gatekeeper (not unlike Orion!) who's aligned with our traffickers (very very very unlike Orion) and would rather kill us than let us succeed in anything?

Sort of like how this group preferred my aunt to remain totally unsupported and to die homeless a few years ago. That's what I was supposed to get. Except they could never poison me against my mom's side of the family enough, so... I didn't become their next "sacrificial lamb" or whatever. That's what it feels like those "higher ups" push for. Sabotage, doubt, sow a lot of internal chaos, keep superficial but upsetting things too of mind.

I was so exhausted I've just spent the last like 8 hours in bed watching Dropout to feel better.

I don't really know where to go from here.

Started guitar yesterday though. Immediately remembered SO much and a dumpster fire of memory snatches with it, and I think this might be both pretty fun and a good way to connect with those parts from back then.

[mylifemydiary]

The following is a rant. Because I can.

10/9/23

I need to vent today. A lot.

I don't like kids. I never have. Even as a kid myself, I played alone. I found friends very troubling. More than one, and ultimately someone always ends up getting stabbed in the back. I don't like sports teams. Or being part of a team in general. I am a lone wolf. I prefer it that way. Until I don't.

I don't like dogs. Particularly other people's dogs. I find them annoying and tedious, too high maintenance and needy. And most of the time, nobody has just one. They have more than one. Which just multiplies the annoyance and neediness.

We are the only family who has two small children. Everyone else in my husband's family who had a baby within the past two years have older children. Teenagers, or double digits. We are the ONLY ones who have two who are not in school. And not just any two kids, because I feel like not all children are as hard as mine. I have a really hard 4 year old and a really needy baby, who is not yet walking but so close. Which means he is either crawling everywhere and climbing on literally everything and literally grabbing EVERYTHING within reach, my other one is constantly 'can I have this?' 'can I eat this?' tantrum after tantrum of trying to do something alone that he cannot in fact do alone and then outbursting again or whining about literally anything and everything. It is a lot to handle. Going out to eat is a beat down because halfway through the meal the baby wants to go crawl on the dirty floor and will cry and struggle until we leave. The other one wants food, no not that food that he previously ate and liked, something that is either not served there or wants to skip and go straight to something sweet or whines about what IS served and takes two bites and says he isn't hungry. It's not fun. It's relentless and exhausting and I'm fucking tired. I try to do something fun with them. I try. In my mind it's pictures of precious moments and opportunities for family togetherness, what I actually get is a dumpsterfire and myself being overwhelmed and hangry. It happened again this weekend. I wanted to do a pumpkin patch with the kids and sister in laws since the weather would be nice. We got lost in a corn maze first thing and I was agitated. Then I couldn't get any good family pics. I, in fact, did not get any good family pics. I don't have ANY pictures of just my husband and I on any outing we do or any recent ones. It's all pictures of the kids. The last pictures I have of just my husband and I are from my birthday. In May. We are now 5 months away from that. Oh, I take that back, I have the family pictures I forced us to do in June. So 4 months.

The icing on the cake is that I caught some type of cold there at the park. Despite being the only one to bring and use hand sanitizer, I woke up Sunday with a sore throat and green snot. Cool. Then we had my husband's father's birthday celebration at my brother in law's house. Who has two giant golden retrievers. With two small kids, it's just too much. I can't let the baby crawl because they will either lick him or run over him. My older one is face level with them and scared of their rambunctiousness. So he spent the whole time cowering or running away from them. I did eventually have to let the baby crawl around because he wouldn't stop struggling and crying and he proceeded to be engulfed in dog hair. Throw in the fact we asked for the menu the day before so we could purchase something, and then day of they change the menu entirely so what we purchased was not used at all. That was me trying to be proactive and trying to do our part with his last minute family. Never again. Next time I guess we can call when we are on our way and stop and get ice or whatever last minute detail has been forgotten.

Then came the part that really makes me insane. My husband's father invites him to his sister's house for poker in the evening. I felt like crap and just wanted to lay down. The baby wouldn't go to sleep despite the early bath. The 4 year old was whining and crying. All I wanted to do was lay down. And he just leaves. In the middle of two meltdowns while I feel like crap and am sick, he just leaves. It's great that everyone else has lots of help with their kids, but we only have each other. We often have to tag team it, one of us gets one kid and the other one gets the other kid. And it's necessary because they are a lot to handle. Neither one of them is an easy kid. And I got stuck with both at bedtime while I felt like crap.

I love all my children, I really do, but I also love my sanity and my freedom and I feel like I have neither. All day every day it is whining and tantrums and wiping butts and making sure nobody chokes and making sure nobody climbs and falls off of things and feeding and snacking and it's constant and relentless. And on top of that he has the nerve to point out when the house doesn't look spotless or happens to see some mold on the shower wall. He watched the kids for 4 hours a couple of weekends ago and managed to lose all 4 pacifiers. Those 4 are all we have, and we aren't buying any more because he's close to being weened off of them, and when I have the kids I keep track of them all day. I have to. I know where they are at all hours. Him? Idk, they're around here somewhere. REALLY. The older kid loses and freaks out about at least one toy three times a day. Doesn't remember where he had it, what he was doing with it, or where it could possibly be, but that's all he needs in life to be happy and exist and IT IS NOWHERE TO BE FOUND. Tantrums ensue. Then I have to search high and low for said item and it ends up being somewhere he should have known it was. But nah. It's easier to lose his shit over something so miniscule and make everyone panic and ruin everyone else's day.

I'm just sad and tired and seeing the pictures of my muffin top from Saturday is the last straw. I go the gym 3-4 times a week, and for what. I was excited to fit into those jeans that I haven't worn in years. But seeing the fat roll in every picture just ruined my entire day. I don't have much time left before I won't be going to the gym anymore for a while and I'm disgusting. It's enough to make me give up and crawl back into bed and just let the kids cry. I literally want to give up on everything.

Hopefully this is just my feeling for today and I can snap out of it.

[janeaustenprotagonist]

dear john,

it's been a long time since I wrote a dear john letter. it's late september now. our final semester has started. we've been good, hectic but good. it's weirdly healthy. I find my old habits trying to slither their way back in but I do my best to push them out, I won't let them sabotage this. I had a dream you proposed today. I'm no where near ready to be married, but I woke up crying. we were visiting salem MA, somewhere I've always wanted to live. you proposed in front of the hocus pocus house. I'm now thinking of us in that cheesecake factory coming up with halloween hallmark movie plots, laughing our asses off. I remember that talk we had in the car. I didn't know how to explain how I was feeling, it made me feel guilty. I didn't tell you about the scare, I should have. I know I should have. I read you the letter, you put your hand on me. it was a lot, I know. you said you want to be better for me, did you mean it?

sometimes at night, I imagine I'm sleeping next to you and somehow it makes the world less scary. I've been having a lot of nightmares lately. I don't even remember most of them. you're in a few. I thought the anxiety medication was supposed to help with this.

I have a medical procedure on thursday. jesus, I didn't think we'd still be seeing eachother. I honestly didn't think we'd have a chance. I'm terrified. utterly, completely, disgustingly terrified. I'm being put under general anesthesia. I'm worried what they'll find, if they find anything. if they find something, how do I tell you? i have to text you before the sun is up and tell you that I care about you incase something happens during this procedure. with my body and my chances (knock on wood), who knows what could happen. I know it's generally low risk, but there's still a chance. I'm scared.

the other day, I was venting to my notes app (a typical me activity). and I started talking about you. before my brain could process what I was typing I wrote: "if he doesn't stop, he's going to make me fall in love with him." what would you say to that? I- I don't know if I'm ready to be in love again. I don't know if I'm ready to fall for someone again. I've done so much healing, my abusive ex can't touch me anymore. but... I don't know. I guess I'm still scared of being *that* vulnerable with someone. I'm okay with surface level vulnerability, making funny jokes about my past and such, but I don't know if I can be in love quite yet. but it's okay. I don't need to be. I'm scared to fall in love again because last time, it was used against me. my love was a weapon, I dropped the knife and they stabbed me with it. I know you won't do that, but knowing that doesn't unlock the iron clad chain around my heart. the only thing that can rust and break that chain is time. I want to give you that time. I want you to break that chain. I feel like I could be that with you, that level of seeing me naked surrounded by my ghosts. I feel like I could fall in love with you. that scares me.

okay hon, I am tried. I need to clean up my room and then do a few tasks and then sleep. I've got a long day of surgery prep tomorrow.

I hope you're sleeping well.

sincerely,

yours

[wiredlyrelatable]

EMOTIONALLY HIGH ON A NEXT LEVEL...

Today let's add another wierd habit to my list.

You know, I have a wierd habit (if you call it a habit) which is, I get emotional (cry a lot actually) when I am angry about something which a person has done to me and I generally don't tell them that I am angry AF on them, instead ignore them but when they themselves find it out and apologize to me, my tears start falling because I feel it's very sweet that instead of fighting with me saying, "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THAT WORD OF MINE HURT YOU SO MUCH? or WHY ARE YOU NOT TALKING TO ME? or WHY ARE YOU ANGRY WHEN WE BOTH ARE AT FAULT?" that person comes and directly apologize for their part of the mistake because of which the tap of my eye opens and overflows the bucket I have. I feel it's so understanding of them that they instead of fighting more just want to end it by saying, "SORRY!" and further they say, "I DON'T WANT TO FIGHT WITH YOU EVER AGAIN!" It's soo sweet of them. I even while writing about it or whenever I remember it, feel very emotional about that person saying, "I CAN'T LOOSE THIS PERSON EVER!" and it's so emotional because it came from your partner who means a lot to you.

If your friend says this, then trust me, your choice of friendship is bang on! They are those type of friends who are loyal AF and will put you on top of their priority list ever.

I even think it depends on the mood of the person. For example, if they are happy to meet you after so long and which is when the opposite person apologies then they feel it's sweet but if their day didn't go well and then the opposite person apologize then they may get over emotional saying, "THIS IS THE ONLY GOOD THING THAT HAPPENED TODAY, IN MY LIFE!" If their day gets them irritated then they may get angry when the opposite person apologized to them and hit them saying, "WHY DIDN'T YOU COME TO ME BEFORE? IT BLOODY TOOK YOU THESE MANY DAYS AND MY CALL TO MAKE YOU SIT IN FRONT OF ME NOW?"

I just feel it's very sweet and respectful towards your relationship, towards your partner, to apologize if there is your mistake without further fighting about different factors revolving around the mistake which will definitely ruin the relationship further.

Afterall apologizing doesn't mean losing your self respect!

[spiders-hth-is-an-outlier]

Okay, I'm so sorry to make An Example of this particular book, which does have plenty of good qualities in terms of character and story and all that, but it's so frustrating to me because, honestly I would have been so insulted as a teenager to be given a book written at this level? Like I truly would have.

I don't know what the target audience is exactly, but I assume if they're interested in a book based this much around a romance plot, we're talking like -- 13 to 17? Generally high school aged? And I fully understand the desire for YA as a marketing category, because at that age I too was interested in exciting stories specifically about young people doing things and finding themselves and getting into relationships! But what I was reading along those lines was like -- Ursula LeGuin and Anne McCaffrey and Mercedes Lackey and Robin McKinley and Orson Scott Card and Ray Bradbury. Not all those authors are on the same tier of "quality," to assume for a second that means anything, but I've reread works by all of them as an adult, and they read like adult books, just about teenagers. They have a reasonable, mass-market, adult-palatable level of complexity at the level of style, the sentences and the structure and the degree to which they expected you to keep up with what was going on.

This book is setting up conflict by saying things like, "Yadriel admired her for her convictions, but he was also frustrated by them. All he wanted was to be accepted -- he wanted to be given his own portaje, treated like any other brujo, and given the same responsibilities. Maritza, on the other hand, had been offered every right of the brujx, but she chose to reject it." Like -- a fair set-up for drama at the outlining stage, but what flat-footed, pre-digested, Beezus and Ramona level prose!! Catch me at 15 reading this book for babies! As a middle-grade reader, I was into Watership Down and A Wrinkle In Time and The Dark Is Rising, because that's the kind of thing they were expecting you to be able to digest as a bookish 11-year-old!

Again, I'm not trying to ding Thomas for being a less skillful writer than Madeline L'Engle, that's obviously an unreasonable standard. It's just frustrating, because this copy has pull-quotes all over it that day "GROUNDBREAKING" and "STUNNING DEBUT NOVEL," and this so encapsulates why the YA genre irritates me, because if you are, right now, a bookish teenager and you look for recommendations because you want to read good books, this is what people are putting in your hands and telling you is outstanding. In high school, people gave me Dune and The Stand and The Chronicles of Thomas Covenant the Unbeliever and The Once and Future King. And not because I'm some kind of goddamn savant! Everyone I knew who read a lot of books was reading adult genre books as a teenager, and we didn't find them unduly challenging. But now equivalently well-read kids are looking for what's next, and there's this whole market devoted to feeding their appetite, and this is what they're getting! This is so understimulating, this is so artistically and intellectually Without! And not because the author doesn't have a good story to tell, but because everyone now has to tell their stories like this. It's no fucking wonder people can't read for comprehension anymore -- apparently nobody ever asked them to except for the one English teacher who brought up the color symbolism in Gatsby, and they're still crying screaming throwing up about it today!

Sometimes I read YA novels for Supporting the Community reasons, which honestly I should quit doing because in general I do not like YA novels and this is not a strong use of my dwindling number of hours on this earth. But anyway I am reading Cemetery Boys, and it's fine but like -- this quite interesting ancient secret society of Latinx necromancers is set up by just -- explaining exactly what they do and how, mostly on page 3, and this is the kind of thing that makes me grind my teeth! It's not just that this explanatory register makes me feel like I'm reading a children's book, but it's also just -- not fun. It's not fun! It's a fantasy novel, part of the fun is exploring the world and wondering what's up with romantically intriguing fantastical elements! Just, my god, let a dude formulate some questions before you drop a Monster Manual on my head, okay?

[sporadically-writing]

hihi there, i hope youre doing well today!! may i get some headcanons for cassidy with a fem s/o who isn't particularly feminine? like...generally unladylike, tends to be a rough person who's more likely to roughhouse, and doesn't like the typical feminine clothing...hope this request isnt too much, i don't see a lot of non-feminine women stuff out there!

Oh dude, yeah! Tomboys for the win!

Let me start by saying, Cassidy is not the type of man who cares about how people dress and act in regards to societal expectations

For somebody’s sake, he’s a cowboy for crying out loud (we love him for it though)

You met Cole through Blackwatch, you actually were recruited before the bust in Deadlock Gorge and were one of the agents Reyes selected to help him with the mission

You had spotted a Deadlock member duck into one of the caverns around and charged after them. In one quick moment, you tackled them, leaving you with a flirty cowboy pinned under you

Here’s the thing, regardless how feminine or not you present, Cole is still going to flirt with you endlessly. He had varying degrees of success but he’s happy to do it anyway

He irritated you quite a bit when he was first recruited to Blackwatch. Being the cocky big shot that he was - Gabe really shouldn’t have complimented him as much during the recruiting process - he latched onto you since, technically, you were the first agent he formally met. Well, as formal as (essentially) an arrest can be

He was a new agent, already too big for his britches having escaped jail time, so somebody had to do something. One day during training, you sparred with him and very handily (and pardon my French) handed his ass to him with a serious (albeit amused) warning

He knew that he was a goner then but that was alright

He gave you the respect an agent of your abilities demanded but that doesn’t mean he still didn’t flirt and tease you, he just did it less

It’s what tipped other agents off that he liked you. Whether you believed it or not, the fact was that Cassidy didn’t listen to most agents when they gave him orders. Hell, he didn’t even listen to his own commander for goodness sakes

Eventually he managed to wear you down enough to consider him a friend. The two of you were more often than not partners on missions

Gabe got more and more reluctant sending the two of you by yourselves because, while the job would get done, the two of you would get goofier and goofier with each other. Ruffling each other’s hair, putting each other into playful headlocks, general tomfoolery

Then the Venice mission came. Cole was vocal the entire mission and most of the way home, you however, we’re quiet for once, something you had never been before

When you all got home, Gabe pulled you aside to ask you to calm Cole down. You however, told Gabe EXACTLY how you felt about his actions that evening and left without a second thought

You and Cole just sort of sat in silence with each other after that, wondering what the hell the two of you were going to do next because that wasn’t what either of you signed up for

Both of you left Overwatch shortly after, choosing to stick together

You two can’t even tell when your friendship ended and your relationship began because you’re still show the same level of physical affection to each other, it just feels like something clicked

Cole still teases you but you do it right back to him (and better, shhh)

Every so often when he introduces you to someone as his girlfriend someone will say, “She looks like she could kill you.” And Cole will just smile that same lovesick smile he usually does and sighs out a, “I know.”

[celestialsky198]

it seems i have rather unexpectedly stumbled on to the Shakespeare side of tumblr, a surprise that, while not what i originally intended for my dashboard, is nonetheless absolutely delightful. a particularly popular play appears to be romeo and juliet. however, i have (regrettably) not read or seen a production of romeo and juliet. thus, my good gentlefolk, i am here today to present, for your viewing pleasure, what i think mercutio, romeo and benvolio are like, as informed by tumblr memes. i hope you enjoy my fever dream of a presentation on the gloriously nicknamed montacrew.

mercutio:

- extremely dramatic, to the point of sacrificing his own safety for the aesthetic

- possesses little to no sense of danger

- gayyyy

- sticking around for the DramaTM

- prankster

- would speak purely in memes if social media existed when the play was set and would have held a funeral complete with an elaborate mourners procession and a gravestone for vine when it eventually lost relevance

- is one of the main sources of comedy - minute he dies the whole show hurtles way way faster to the train wreck of a tragedy it will eventually become

- no braincells. there’s nothing but dust and a few pebbles rattling around in his head

- tipsy half the time, however it’s almost impossible to tell the times when he is and the times when he isn’t apart because he’s just Like That normally

- LOUD

- bad at expressing his emotions but genuinely quite sweet when he can get his words out properly

- theatre kid but cannot sing for the life of him

- this doesn’t stop him tho

- feral

- if he has a problem it is not his for very long as it very quickly becomes EVERYONE’S problem

- the biggest flirt you’ve ever seen in your life

- very excitable, sort of like caffeine if it were a person and made poor life decisions

- poofy sleeves

- petty crime

benvolio:

- level head (kinda)

- he has more than one brain cell which admittedly isn’t a lot but it’s millions better than the other two

- so so tired

- tries to keep the other two in check and out of trouble but is becoming slowly more feral due to exposure

- dumbass in training if you will

- also a silly and a prankster but feigns reluctance bc he (sort of) has a reputation to think of

- mercutio on the other hand has no reputation other than being ridiculous and thus has nothing to lose

- deathly loyal and very supportive of his friends even if it’s kinda their fault that they’re in trouble

- boy has been through some next level suffering, he is not okay, someone get him some therapy and maybe a hug

- lots of deadpan humour

- dating mercutio

- probably deserves better he’s seen some stuff

- gays are never happy :(

- confident, fairly easygoing but has limits you don’t cross

- with him you joke until he gives you The Look and then you shut up quick

- dog person

- possible clairvoyance?? i don’t make the rules

romeo:

- feelings!!!

- will cry. just in general. about anything.

- impulsive as heck

- big romantic, the ‘sighs dreamily’ type

- simply does not Think, at anytime

- this means he can screw up sometimes and be a bit of a jerk but he means well

- he does not jump to conclusions he hurtles towards them at 200mph

- sad often

- anytime he appears on the scene things escalate

- *slight air of tension but generally quiet* *romeo appears* *all hell breaks loose*

- optimist but easily disappointed

- prankster also

- they all joke around to be honest

- unearned confidence

- refuses to listen to any and all authority

- a little gullible but we don’t hold that against him

- just an ongoing, never ending crisis as opposed to a midlife crisis

- a hot mess

- doesn’t really comprehend such fabled things as Consequences or Repercussions and his primary motivation for things is almost always ‘it looked like a fun time’

- he’s a laugh and fun to be around but don’t trust him with anything

- kinda like a golden retriever but somehow more reckless

[forestlingincorporated]

...So, are the Drakes criminals?

One thing that comes up in a lot of Catlad/Stray/Kitten AUs feat. Tim Drake is the idea that the Drakes are lowkey thieves. Specifically, that they steal artifacts from their archeological digs. Makes sense for the AU, but is there any validity to that in canon? 

Um... yeah. Actually. 

So, at first, I thought that Drake Industries did something with archeology? Like, they were an archeological... company? But while going through the Batman comics of the time period and early Robin comics with a fine tooth comb to write the initial DI entry on DC Database, I found that Drake Industries seems to have NOTHING to do with archeology. The only thing DI is specifically said to specialize in is medical equipment. 

Tim describes both his parents “trotting the globe digging up ancient civilizations,” despite archeology not seeming to be Drake Industries’ business. It appears to be a hobby both parents partook in. 

So, that’s... fine? I think? I... think you can volunteer on a dig as an enthusiast. 

But then I noticed this panel from Cry of the Huntress when Tim and Jack are newly moved in next door to Bruce, because... 

Well, I recognize that statue. I took an art history class in college, and that is definitively a Venus figurine, a la “the Venus of Willendorf,” from Paleolithic Europe. 

Now, that doesn’t mean it’s stolen from a dig. It could be purchased legitimately! However... I don’t know, the comics where pretty clear what the Drakes’ spending range was for art. 

A Lonely Place of Dying has this interesting but out-of-place interaction with Tim during his first visit to the Wayne Manor. He notes Bruce’s Erte statue, and comments on how his dad purchased a lithograph the year before... but he appears impressed that Bruce owns a statue. 

This is important to NOTHING in this plot, but it establishes the Drakes’ level of wealth vs Bruce’s level of wealth. Lithographs are generally speaking more affordable than serigraphs, of which Erte produced both, due to how they are made (though, limited editions can change the value of the piece) which suggests that the Drakes are buying on the cheaper end of the high art print spectrum. 

Now, I can’t tell you how much this particular statue is worth, because I can’t tell if this particular statue is meant to be a particular Erte; I can’t find a match. I’ve seen Erte statues listed for $1,800 at auction, and I’ve seen them listed for $13,000. There are certainly lithos more expensive than some statues, however I’ve seen some Erte lithos only price in the hundreds, and I’ve never seen a statue price that low. The implication is that the Drakes don’t have as much cash to spend on having nice Things as Bruce does. I suspect most of their money goes towards funding their lavish lifestyle: travel, multiple homes, fancy boarding schools, etc. Still filthy rich, but they’re not cracking the thousands on art. 

And artifacts at auction? Are not cheap.  

That said, it could simply be a replica, which can be very affordable for the average archeology nerd. There’s still no evidence of wrong-doing. 

Or... there was no evidence, until...

In the Robin 80-Page Giant, we see Jack on a dig, where he officially describes himself as an amateur archaeologist. 

On this dig he finds an artifact of unknown provenance and just... takes it home. Gives it to his fiancé as a wedding present. 

Archaeologists do not keep the objects they excavate, in today’s day and age, since the remains generally belong to the country in which they are found. Like, an actual archeologist can correct me, but it shouldn’t matter that the professional Jack is working under seems to think it’s “costume jewelry,” it’s still part of the dig.

Jack is just so cavalier about taking it home, too, it just seems like something he’s done before. Like, I’m pretty sure he’s just casually commiting a crime and his archeologist friend is, like, enabling him. 

So, that’s why I’m convinced the Drakes, or at least Jack, are lowkey treasure hunters and tomb robbers. Like, again, super not an expert, but I’m like 75% sure this is illegal as hell. 

[dianaburnwood]

FREELANCER Gameplay Reveal

screaming, crying etc. 

Had a lot going on today so took me a while to get this post out, but let’s talk about that reveal!!!

ok listen I dunno WHAT it is about injured 47 that is so enticing but I never even imagined they would have in-game cutscenes to go with it? Haven’t seen him looking this beat up since Contracts. 

This is really bringing him back to his roots, fighting for every inch of progress, death always just around the corner.

And speaking of Contracts vibes: 

I am very excited by the amount of cutscene content this reveal shows. It’s honestly already more than I was expecting, I figured Freelancer realisation would be focused on gameplay, leaving little room for anything else. But these little snippets of 47 doing NEW things has me like !!!!

In general, Freelancer as a mode has way more newness than I was expecting. A lot of it seems Blood Money inspired, such as earning money, purchasing of upgrades, and what appears to be almost a throwback to the notoriety system with the alerted territories feature.

Also really like the optional objectives for extra payout. This also means a TON of replay value, as you may not have access to the gear you need to complete all of these objectives the first time round. Especially for prestige objectives!

I am not sure how I feel about the in-game currently being called mercers. Obvy a play on merces letifer but, eh. 

Really interested in how they’ve built on the investigation gameplay of Dartmoor to allow 47 to ascertain who his final target is during these campaigns. That adds a whole other level to this narratively too, as you really feel like you’re on your own with limited intel, while other assassins make things dangerous for you.

I am really enjoying the attention to detail in the safehouse itself, starting off with moving boxes and eventually settling 47 in his home. It seems really lovingly crafted. 

Timeline

We heard our girl Diana loud and clear, so Freelancer does not take place during 47′s year away from her. Due to this, I’m not expecting the weather at the safehouse to undergo seasonal changes as it is not marking the passing of a single year (though I would be so happy if we got to see changes like that anyway!). 

Baby who are all those presents for 👀

It seems to me that Freelancer takes place after the New Deal cinematic, with Diana and 47 working together as partners. Though as 47 is booking his own flights, doing his own research, and buying and packing his own gear, Diana must be chilling on the sun lounger during these missions lmao

Dunno why this says ICA approved tho... unless 47 and Diana are actually still working for the ICA but as freelancers because the ICA is still picking up the pieces?

I’m expecting Freelancer to be a great opportunity to add fresh content and new maps to HITMAN while narratively laying the groundwork for Diana and 47 to return to a newly resurfaced ICA in a future Hitman game (assuming they haven’t already, or that IOI don’t go for a hard reboot in their next Hitman outing). 

I guess use of that private plane was an ICA perk after all... 

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 320: Deku vs. Class 1-A

Previously on BnHA: Flashback!Kacchan was all “fuck Deku and fuck his stupid goodbye letters, I need to speak to somebody in charge.” Endeavor was all “hello, I am Somebody In Charge.” Kacchan was all “listen up asshole, you need to let us go out and collect our wayward nerd because you stupidly left him alone with All Might and that’s a fast track to disaster right there.” Endeavor was all, “[self-incriminating silence].” Rat Principal was all, “okay sure, have fun kids.” Back in the present, class 1-A was all “hi Deku” and Deku was all “I’M FINE!!!!!” and Kacchan was all “THAT’S WHAT I THOUGHT YOU’D SAY YOU DUMB FUCKING NERD” and so the kids all got ready to fight, because OF COURSE they’re gonna fight. Sorry guys, but yeah it’s happening.

Today on BnHA: Kacchan is all “what’s up Deku you look like a possessed Rorschach test, so anyway how are the new quirks coming along.” Deku is all “they’re coming along like THIS” and uses Smokescreen to try and get away. Kacchan is all “PHASE ONE COMMENCE”, and Kouda, Sero, Jirou, and Ojiro leap into the fray to shower Deku with heaps of love and violence, because this is a shounen manga and kicking someone’s ass while simultaneously proclaiming your undying admiration for them is just how it’s done in these parts. The KoudaSeroOJirou squad then passes the baton to Satou, Momo, Tokoyami, Kaminari, and Shouji, who are all “fuck this mask” and do a bunch of stuff to tear Deku’s mask off because they’re the real heroes. Shouto is all “LOOK AT THE LITTLE CRYBABY, THAT’S RIGHT, GO AHEAD AND FUCKING CRY and by the way let us share your burden please,” and once again I swear this is all very deeply moving and touching within the actual context. The chapter ends with Tsuyu being all “look at me. I’m the cliffhanger now,” and damn.

lol what

I don’t think anyone was expecting that. I mean, not that I’ve got anything against Tsuyu or anything. anyways it’s a very nice cover and I love the colors and I hope this means Tsuyu’s gonna do something badass

also, “Deku vs Class A” -- pretty much the expected title, but it’s still got me hyped nonetheless fuck yeah let’s go

IIDA ANGST

Iida Tenya really said “fuck the uniform code, we’re leaving the helmet at home today.” sorry kids, prim and proper C-3PO Comic Relief Iida has left the building. can I interest you in some Serious Iida

meanwhile Kacchan is all “sup Deku, I heard you got a few more quirks, and might I just add that you look like the Snyder Cut of Detective Pikachu”

“you look like a tarred and feathered squid” okay easy there Kacchan. I mean it’s all true of course, but still

“thank you all for coming” OH EXCUSE ME SON, WERE YOU PLANNING ON GOING SOMEWHERE. LET’S JUST SEE HOW THAT PLAYS OUT

yep and there’s Smokescreen, right on cue

okay Horikoshi, I leave it in your hands. hopefully you can come up with some more interesting combos than my dumbass predictions lol

LOL THIS ISN’T A COMBO AT ALL

“explosions solve everything” -- Horikoshi Kouhei, 2021. something something shockwave, something something handwave ta-da no more smoke. lol okay then

oh, ouch

he would know, wouldn’t he. nice application of one of your many hard-earned life lessons, Kacchan

by the way you guys, just as an experiment, I’m going to try to anticipate some of the discourse this week in the hopes of preemptively addressing it and thus saving myself some time later on lol. so here’s our first test run!

ANTICIPATED DISCOURSE: “oh my god what a fucking hypocrite can you believe this fucking guy”

PREEMPTIVE REBUTTAL: it’s precisely because Kacchan has been in this exact situation himself that he’s able to recognize his past self in Deku now and call him out on it. just because it took him sixteen years to get it through his head that he can’t accomplish every single thing completely by himself doesn’t mean Deku has to go down that same path. so yeah, maybe it is a bit hypocritical, but if you insist that the only people qualified to call out stupid shit are people who have never done a single stupid thing in their own lives, then what you’re basically saying is that absolutely no one on earth is qualified lol. so yeah, I’d have to disagree

and one last unrelated note, I’m willing to bet the whole “you didn’t even say a word before you ran off” thing is possibly the first thing Kacchan’s said in this whole encounter that actually does stem from genuine hurt rather than his tough-love-harsh-truths strategy. I’M TAKING NOTES HERE HORIKOSHI. at this rate it’ll take twice as many chapters as DvK2 for them to hash out all the stuff between them, geez

anyway so I gotta say, so far Deku vs. Class A is looking an awful lot like a DvK3 wearing a hat, trenchcoat, and sunglasses lol

OH SHIT I TAKE IT BACK??

FUCK YEAH, YOU GO KOUDA. and I guess he ditched his mask as well! excellent

so far the strategy here seems to be “Kacchan says all the mean tough love shit while the rest of 1-A balances it out with warmth and kindness”, which actually works pretty well imo. Deku is one of those people that doesn’t usually need a Kacchan Translator anyway, but just in case, this is very efficient

mm but of course Deku is slingshotting himself away with Blackwhip. all right then, who’s up next!

FUCK YEAH

okay but seriously you guys, what is going on with Sero’s face in these last couple of chapters though, it’s really starting to unnerve me. is he trying to emulate Kacchan’s whole asymmetrical facial expressions thing?

in fact let me just quickly hit pause here because,

ANTICIPATED DISCOURSE: “SERO IS TOGA??!”

PREEMPTIVE REBUTTAL: no

oh snap looks like Jirou’s getting in on the action too!

poor Jirou probably spent days racking her brain trying to think of something she could bond with Deku over. is Horikoshi doing these in reverse order of the kids who have had the most interaction with him? that would explain why poor Kouda didn’t get a flashback lol

omg. well that answers that

so by my count, Satou and Hagakure are the only ones remaining in this first tier of kids who Still Appreciate Midoriya even though they’ve barely ever spoken two words to him in their lives lol. so they’ll probably be next, and then we’ll get to the next tier of kids who are pretty good friends with him but not quite besties. and then we’ll move on to the IidaRokiRaka trio, and then lastly, to the boy who is in a tier all his own

BUT FIRST, A WORD FROM OUR SPONSOR

and by “sponsor” I mean the Dekuangst. just in case that wasn’t clear. indeed, many thanks to the Dekuangst for making this all possible

(ETA: okay so this whole “take me away” line seemed pretty weird to me, and sure enough it’s yet another one of those cases where only the verb is specified, and the object is left to the reader’s interpretation. so even though the translation says “take me away”, I’m pretty sure that what Deku’s actually saying is “take you away” -- as in, his loved ones will be taken away by AFO.

and that is literally the way he phrases it, though -- the verb used is “奪う” (ubau), meaning “to snatch away; to dispossess; to steal.” which, god, that hurts my whole goddamn heart though, because for him to say it like that?? not “AFO will kill you”, but “AFO will take you away from me.” he can’t have nice things anymore because of AFO. he can’t be around the people he loves because AFO will hurt them. he can’t have happiness because AFO will take it away from him. anyway so where the fuck is AFO right now, motherfucker I just want to talk.)

by the way can Ojiro just extend his tail to whatever fucking length he wants or what because it’s like twelve feet long in this panel lol

WOOO FUCK YEAH TOKOYAMI

YOU LOVE TO SEE IT!! BUT WHERE’S YOUR FLASHBACK? YOU’VE HAD A BUNCH OF INTERACTIONS WITH HIM, THAT’S NOT FAIR

okay so now Satou’s stepping in which is back to my anticipated order, so maybe Toko will finish his little moment afterward

dskfjfkk

“REMEMBER THAT TIME DEKU BORROWED SATOU’S FOOD COLORING” Horikoshi says, sweating. “AND REMEMBER THAT TIME HE, UM, SMILED IN HAGAKURE’S GENERAL DIRECTION”

actually I am curious about what Hagakure’s part will be because, you know, the whole traitor thing lol

(ETA: funny how we just skipped right over it huh. can we get a traitor reveal countdown started here? definitely getting close to that time.)

whoa lol wtf

MOMO??? THIS HAS MOMO WRITTEN ALL OVER IT DAMMIT

-- SWEET MOTHER OF FUCK

“SORRY MIDORIYA-SAN, I LEFT MY FUCKING CHILL AT HOME IN THE LOCKER NEXT TO IIDA’S HELMET” holy shit lmao

and here I thought she’d get a flashback to her time on the Baku Rescue Squad or something. but nope, no flashbacks from Momo, only terrifying sci-fi torture devices

poor Dark Shadow is such a trooper omg

“why am I the only one who has to make prolonged contact with his smelly disgusting self” taking one for the team there DS

FUCK YEAH KAMINARI NO JUTSU

THE PRICKLY BASTARD WHISPERER STRIKES AGAIN!! don’t suppose you brought any clean clothes you could sneakily force him into huh Kami

okay here we go, so now Shouji and Tokoyami are joining forces

um excuse me this is fucking awesome

wonder how he’ll break free? don’t think he’ll reveal Fa Jin until the end of the chapter, so maybe Air Force or something? idk

TOKO GETS AN EXTENDED MOMENT BECAUSE HE IS A TIER TWO PATREON REWARD LEVEL FRIEND YAY

WHY IS MOMO MAKING THIS FACE LOL YOUR THING WAS WAY WORSE

and Shouji just casually hitting him with what is easily the best comment from anyone yet. too bad Deku’s just gonna ignore it. you deserve better Shouji

KAMINARI OMFG

it only just occurred to me that Kami is currently trapped inside Dark Shadow right along with him lmao omg. realest one in the entirety of BnHA, right here. we will never forget your sacrifice

aaaaaaand Deku’s yeeting himself

do you really hate the thought of taking a bath that much my dude

oh shit the mask!!

-- oh shit the feels

o(TヘTo)

fuck. and I mean, we knew he was crying, that was a done deal. but still, to see him in this much pain is just...

and the acknowledgement that he knows they’re worried about him, but that it doesn’t change his mind one bit. this, right here, is why they have to be a bit harsh with him, you guys. because they’re up against the full, unbridled stubbornness of Midoriya fucking Izuku, and if they don’t match that stubbornness with an equal stubbornness of their own, they basically don’t stand a chance

(ETA: quick note that there is apparently another mistranslation here -- rather than saying that his friends are oblivious to the danger, what Deku is actually saying is that none of his friends have activated his Danger Sense once throughout this entire fight. which I had been wondering about, and it turns out Horikoshi actually confirmed it. so basically none of the kids bears any ill intent toward him, and there’s literal proof right there.

incidentally, as @class1akids​ pointed out, this also casts an interesting light on this chapter in terms of who hasn’t fought Deku yet. not to play the Hagakure Traitor Music for the billionth time you guys, but I’M JUST SAYING lol.)

anyway, but the good news is that they all seem to understand that. and the even better news is that we have reached the tier 3 friends!!

“OR ELSE” lol, great to see Shouto wielding his friendship just as aggressively as Deku once did towards him. I do love a good role reversal

p.s., ANTICIPATED DISCOURSE: “why is Shouto being so cruel to Deku can’t he see how hard this is on him”

PREEMPTIVE REBUTTAL: this is a callback to the classic “even heroes cry when they have to” Shouto line from chapter 137. Shouto is clearly following Kacchan’s lead here and going for the more ruthless approach, knowing that the gentle approach isn’t getting through to him (if anything it’s only making him more stubborn as we saw on the previous page). basically it’s his way of pointing out that even heroes are still only human, and so is Deku last time he checked

ah okay, and there Tsuyu is at last

okay real talk, I get why Tsuyu is included in the tier 3 friends, because she was one of the first people to team up with Deku going all the way back to USJ. but that said, this probably would have had more impact if their most recent interaction hadn’t been like 150 chapters ago

but anyway though it’s still a good speech. maybe not quite a cliffhanger-level speech, but a good speech nonetheless. in a way though, I’m glad to see that Horikoshi seemingly didn’t give a fuck whether he ended this on an actual cliffhanger or not for once

and that “headed toward the climax” part has me excited too, ngl. because if we really are getting to the so-called climax this soon, that makes me even more certain that there is indeed a DvK3 in the forecast. so I presume that next week (or I guess two weeks from now) will be the tier 3s along with the remaining tier 2s like Kirishima and Aoyama

and then after that, well... [orange and green banners being hoisted] [sound of screeching airhorns and vuvuzelas in the distance] [sound of All Might approaching in his car which I didn’t notice until I looked back at this page a second time whoops] THE PROPHECY WILL NOT BE DENIED