#i mean i could just continue using use this one but idk?
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Choi Subong “Thanos” - No regrets.
Warning : canon typical violence, death, blood, drug use.
Genre : angst
Synopsis : Thanos, your friend of a few years, finds you after the green light red light and asks you to team up with him. Nothing bad can happen, right ?
Reader : male (you/yours)
A/N : bold is in English // 500 million won = 342 000$ // "No winner" was an exception so idk what this one is…
You have known Thanos for a few years now and you quickly became vital for each other, like attached to the hip and somehow along the way, feelings began to bloom, though neither of you ever acted on them.
Not that he’s shy, far from it, he even would’ve asked you out the second he realized his love for you. But then he remembered how badly the Korean people could react to a public figure coming out as queer, making it harder for him to reach his goal to become a popular rapper in Korea, no, the whole world.
So he waited, and waited, hoping to move on. But you were constantly with him, maybe he should’ve stopped inviting you at the rap contest he was participating in or his few concerts, cheering for him with his fans.
Moving on was hard, if not impossible.
Then, during the finals of the show he was participating in, he forgot the lyrics to his rap and lost. And it kept going downhill, to the point of losing everything on crypto money and being indebted of 500 million won more to the already big debt he had. Not seeing an end to it, the relentlessness of life with his feelings, dreams, and means, Thanos walked to a bridge, considering jumping before a man approached him to play a game of ddakji.
And so he found himself in a strange place with hundreds of people and armed guards with masks.
He thought he’d just have to play the games and win and waltz out of here debts free, but the stakes were higher than what he had thought after seeing the pretty player 196 die from a headshot after moving during the green light red light game.
Starting to panic, he popped a colored pill from his cross and swallowed it, waiting for its quick effects. He didn’t have to wait much and within a minute he was running dancing with a big smile on his face, even pushing to death three people before him.
It’s after the 5 minute timer that he saw you, catching your breath with wide eyes as you looked around in shock. What the fuck just happened ? You had some blood on your face and clothes, yet, Thanos still found you good looking, the blood not disturbing him.
He approached you, pushing anyone on his way and without waiting for you to notice him, he began to talk.
“What are you doing here ? You have debts ?” He said, tapping your shoulder.
Your eyes widened again at the sound of his voice as you looked at him, blinking surprised.
“Huh ? T ?” You said as he posed at the sound of his nickname. You had seen him on the screen earlier, but you didn’t expect to actually find him here.
“Das me, yea.” He posed one last time before continuing speaking. “How much ?”
“Huh ?”
“Your debts.”
“Why would I tell you ? You didn’t tell me how you lost all your shit.”
“Crypto money.” He replied without missing a beat.
You blinked at him, surprised, and pointed at him.
“You… too ?”
“MG Coin got you too ?” He looked at you with an equally surprised face.
“What ? No. Who ? I’m just shit at understanding how it works.” You robbed your forehead, remembering with irritation all your actions that led you here.
“Yeah and you’re fucking stubborn, I can see you trying and trying even after losing multiple times.”
“I don’t want any comments from you, didn’t you do the same ?”
“Nope ! Went all-in. In one go !” He said, moving his hands around as if to look cool.
You sighed before letting out a small laugh.
“This isn’t a contest but I feel like you’re winning and not in a good way.”
He smirked clearly not caring about your last words, he had won, that’s what mattered.
“Wanna play together, my bro ? I already have a small group, I can squeeze you in.” He asked, crossing his arms before raising one hand in the air, ready to dap you.
“Sure, what’s the worst that could happen ?” You replied, dapping him.
Since then, you stayed with Thanos and the group he made himself. A fan, a new friend that he kept butchering the name of, a shy guy and a cool girl.
The games weren’t easy even if it made you remember your childhood, but even with death flying around all of you, Thanos and soon Namgyu made things less intense.
The third game was over and you had survived once more. Then as planned the vote of the day came but ended in a tie to which the square guard told everyone another vote was coming but to take a break before it would start.
A lot of people from both sides went to the bathroom while you stayed on one of the beds of your now reduced group. The cool girl and shy guy had voted X, no longer wanting to play the games, and the fan, Gyeongsu, was dead, so only you, Thanos and Namgyu remained. But after 5 long minutes you started to wonder what was taking them so long to just take a shit. So you stood up and asked to be let out to go to the bathroom, a guard accompanying you.
As you finally approached the door, Minsu rushed out, running past you. Then you heard commotion and as you opened the door…
Chaos.
Everyone was at each other’s throat, punching, kicking and hitting one another.
You saw Thanos on player 333 as they strangled each other while he cursed in both Korean and English. Quickly you went to grab him, wanting to get out of here as fast as possible, but Thanos swiftly pushed you away, making you land on your ass.
As you moved and tried to stay out of the way of everyone you noticed player 333 pulling a silver thing out of his pocket and planting it in Thanos’ throat. You yelled, trying to get closer but before you could grab him, player 333 had stabbed him a second time before pushing him away and hiding inside the toilet stall, locking it.
“Fuck !”
You grabbed Thanos, cursing to yourself, and hid in the second toilet. His hand was shaking against his throat, holding the fork, blood spilling between his fingers. You moved his hand, placing yours instead, trying to stop the wounds from bleeding.
You had tears in your eyes as you began to panic, his were wide as he tried to breathe and cough out the blood, choking on it.
“Fuck dude !” You cried out, you could feel his heartbeat on the palm of your hand. “Why did you do this when I’m not here !”
You pulled him closer, shaking, his head resting on your chest as he continued to choke, his heartbeat slowing down dangerously.
“You fucking dumbass.” You didn’t know what to do, your favorite person was dying and you couldn’t do anything to help him.
He looked at you with horror as he realized what was going to inevitably happen, one hand grabbing your arm while the other went to your cheek, trembling, weakly caressing it, smudging blood on your skin.
“I” He managed to get out, coughing up blood on himself and your clothes, struggling, looking at you, scared. It was now or never, he thought. “I lo- …yo-” He tried to articulate, though panic, blood and pain were making it difficult.
You let out a frustrated yell before planting a kiss on his forehead.
“Fuck you, Subong ! Tell me when you survive this ! You can survive this, right, it’s just a fork ! Don’t fucking die, man !” As you cried, your tears fell on his face as slowly his eyes lost their light.
His heart had stopped beating, his hands falling to his sides. Thanos was no longer shaking and struggling against you but blood was still pooling by your hand and clothes.
You closed your eyes, his dead ones looking right at you. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
Your body kept shaking as you held him tightly against you, too scared to get out, waiting for the fight to stop, for everything to end.
When it finally died out, you heard a knock, making you jump.
“Who’s that ?” You asked, your voice hoarse, quiet, it was evident you were still crying.
“Me. Namgyu. Is he… ?”
You unlocked the door, wiping your tears quickly, putting Thanos’ blood on your face inadvertently.
“Shit !” Namgyu kneeled, hands moving against Thanos’ shoulders. “That fucking MG Coin…”
And then, he pulled the fork out of his throat, from between your fingers, more blood gushing out. It almost made you puke in your mouth.
“For revenge.” He said with a weak smile, carefully hidding the bloody fork in his clothes. “Do you think… I can take this too ?” He pointed to the big cross Thanos had around his neck. “It’s just- You know…”
He gave you another small smile before unlocking the necklace and taking it before you could say anything. You didn’t have a good reason to stop him anyway.
“Once it’s empty, give it to me, okay ?” You finally said and he nodded slowly.
Then the bathroom door creaked open, the guards were there. Big guns and human sized black boxes to take in the casualties.
“Come on, let’s go.” Namgyu said quietly, pulling you by your elbow.
You didn’t want to leave, not ready to abandon Thanos’ body. But you had to, so you closed his eyes before slowly getting up as you laid him on the stained ground. Namgyu held you close, helping you walk away, the others followed you quietly, escorted by the armed guards.
When you entered the lobby, defeated and mentally annihilated, Namgyu immediately alerted the others of what had happened while you slowly realized you were drenched in Thanos’ blood, with no possibility to shower or change clothes. You felt sick, and while people approached as the two groups began to argue once more, you sat on Thanos’ bed, eyes empty.
Now, you really wanted out.
#male reader#m!reader#squid game#squid game x m!reader#squid game x male reader#thanos squid game#choi su bong x m!reader#choi su bong x male reader#choi su bong#choi subong x m!reader#choi subong x male reader#squid game 2
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considering making a blog specifically for disability/chronic illness talk
#i have ideas for urls#i also wanna use the url i thought up for the advice blog#like i’m not gonna make that blog now but i still really don’t wanna waste that url/username#i mean i could just continue using use this one but idk?#hmmmm 🤔#idk why i have the urge to make a new blog#maybe bc of all the url ideas i have sitting in my notes that aren’t being used#bc i don’t wanna change this url#sooo another blog it is#tbh i need to use my other ones imao#but it’s nice to have other blogs if i’m ever not feeling this one or something#idk maybe i’ll just make it imao#bc it’s a personal thing and it’s a better idea than the advice blog tbh#gwen rambles#gwenposting
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Seriously chaotic fashion misadventures
I realized I posted a teaser and never really followed up on it, so here is some more of that
“Hey, Dami?”
Boy hadn’t looked up from the kittens he was bottle feeding but let out a hum indicating he listened.
“I'm thinking about trying out a more girlish style. Do you think it would suit me?”
Well, Damian had no idea but if Dani wished to give it a chance, then, well, the only proper reaction was to offer his aid.
*-*-*
“Father, I require access to your rouge gallery.”
Bruce almost choked on his breakfast when his youngest made this announcement.
Rouge gallery, as his children playfully called it, was vast collection of lipsticks, which he collected to uphold his Brucie persona. Famous playboy with head constantly in the clouds couldn’t not show up with discreet signs of scandal from time to time. And it couldn’t always be the same shade. Or scent when he choose more subtle approach and used one of his more feminine perfumes.
In all honesty, he enjoyed this.
But that’s not the point, point was that Damian wanted to use it and Bruce needed to know what disaster would fall upon him if he agreed.
“Mind telling me why, chum?”
Dick, who visited Manor for a weekend, barely stifled his laughter while Tim stared at his empty coffee mug like it personally betrayed him. Cass just wore her usual knowing and mischievous smile.
Damian shifted in his chair, hands clenching on butter knife. He was nervous and suddenly Bruce dreaded the answer he was about to hear.
“I don’t see how me sharing this information would change anything. It won’t be used to cause harm to anyone but it’s necessary in the extracurricular project I just started.”
“Dami, what project?” Dick asked, voice oozing with genuine curiosity and excitement. He was almost bouncing.
“I don’t want to disclose it.”
“Is this a hero or civilian type of deal?”
Damian didn’t look any of them in the eyes, both hands clenching on his seat as he kept shifting. Bruce narrowed his eyes. Was his youngest… flustered?
“Civilian”
“Alright, great” Dick swung back with single clap, almost tripping his chair over “I think B won’t have anything against you using his rouge gallery, will he?” Man knew his oldest son well enough to recognize his ‘don’t you dare to disagree’ tone. He was confused but there wasn’t any harm so he nodded with affirmative hum.
“Thank you, Father”
Boy practically inhaled rest of his food and rushed outside. Despite all his training and all his efforts, they clearly saw his excitement. Tim pinched himself and returned to staring at his mug.
“Cass, have you seen what I’ve seen or am I overreacting?” Dick asked, barely restraining his enthusiasm. Girl nodded eagerly, shoving more crumbs into her mouth. Young man cheered, throwing his hands up.
“What have I missed?” Tim mumbled, frowning a little.
“BABY BAT HAS A CRUSH!”
Cass nodded again with wide smile.
Oh.
Oh no.
Who were they? What did he know about them? Was Protocol 3r0s started? Did someone run a background check already? What could they do if they somehow hurt Damian? Was this person a risk to their identities? Oh gods, oh no.
He probably will have to do The Talk™.
He always dreaded having The Talk, with any of his kids. He felt The Talk with Damian would be even worse. Understandably so.
“Also sleep in at least three da-”
“Fuck off, dick.”
“Was this insult or-”
His children remained obvious to how much work it meant, cheering and sassing each other like they often did.
*-*-*
Damian did not know how it was possible but he lowered his guard enough to get caught.
"What are you doing?" Brown choked out after they stared at each other for a long moment.
"It does not concern you–"
"You're rummaging through my wardrobe, not many things concern me more and also, that's frickin creepy don't do it to anyone outside of the family"
She did have a point however he was not convinced it would be the correct approach if he shared his plan. Father's wards (even unofficial like Brown) tended to make assumptions and overreact based on these conjectures. Dani wasn't easy to scare off but he didn't want to check if his family would manage. They often did things thought to be impossible.
He tried to get away but the blonde stood fiercely in a door, leaving the window as the only way out. He wasn't this desperate. Yet.
Girl looked more and more angry at his silence. He had to give her some answers.
Now that he actually considered it, she could be a useful asset. She was far better versed in women's fashion and if he phrased it correctly, he wouldn't even need to bribe her. Question was, how should he phrase it?
"I have an acquaintance- I have a friend," he corrected himself "from the animal shelter I volunteer at. She mentioned wanting to try out more 'girlish style' and asked for my opinion. I wanted to see if you had any clothes that would fit her. She is smaller than me so I thought that whatever I take, it wouldn't be missed."
Brown grinned with an unsettling gleam in her eyes. He suddenly regretted opening his mouth if not coming to this room in the first place.
"Say no more, I have a plan Demon Child"
#dpxdc#dp x dc#dc x dp#dcxdp#steph is fashion icon thank you very much#dami is trying to woo this girl since the day she saw house rat in such horrible state that three older volunteers had to go to puke-#called it adorable and started cleaning and patching it up without batting an eye#meanwhile dani is having a blast on her one month visit in Gotham; she doesn't plan on telling anyone when she is leaving#btw Dani's name here was supposed to be Jackie (from Jaqueline) or Jaime#(with Danny's second name being Jack or James respectively)#but I changed it back because there is no set-up for it and i didn;t want to just drop that out of nowhere#i just wanted her to stay true to her gremlin name stealing nature#while having a name that sounded distinclty hers#because idk how it is in us#but here you know someone's second name if you're#a) handling some legal documentation/their id#b) are close enough friends to know such deep lore#c) happened to be at the table when someone used 'what's your second name' as a conversation starter at the canteen#so she'd feel conected to Danny for everyone in the know#while still sounding like she isn't a carbon copy#this fic started because i saw a post about similar looking ans sounding words having different meanings and-#- someone mentione rogue rouge and Batman in one sentence and i decided that this man deserved rouge gallery outside of his usual rogue one#this fic could probably be seen as distant continuation of Ghost of Fries and Hero of Cookies#in a way thirteenth book in the series is continuation to second#but it is a sorta continuation#i still don't believe in my dc knowledge enough to pull this series of#anyway#serious chaos#(almost) new years fic special#part five (final)
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working in a factory has you thinking so much about the insane chain of labor & transport that goes into making literally anything
#like first you realize that You are making & doing things that you previously had thought - if you'd thought abt it at all - were automated#& you become incredibly aware of how all the materials you're working with came from somewhere - these plastic clips are from france; this#fabric is from india etc. and that there are people in factories there making those things and that they are also probably getting their#materials from somewhere#one of the little things that makes me think about this the most is we have these 50m rolls of cotton banding we see onto canvas & nets#and in theory it should be all one piece but sometimes it's actually two pieces which you discover when you get far enough in the roll and#find that there's a join where it's been stitched together by hand (!). which is a little annoying bc we can't use that bit so you have#to cut that but out & stitch it together again on the machine which interrupts what you were sewing before & slows you down But it's so#striking to me bc like it's really easy to look at this banding & it's so exactly the same & obviously machine made it's Really easy to#forget that there are people there running these machines. who notice there's a break & have to stop what they're doing & get a needle &#thread and stitch it together. by hand! like someone somewhere has handled exactly where I'm touching it & i don't even know where in the#world they are!#the other place this happens is often on the selvedge edge of the fabric there's writing in pencil i don't know ye meaning of but evidently#was important to the process somewhere & someone wrote that out#idk like it's really easy to watch those videos of really specific machines in factories & convince yourself that everything is automated#but the truth is the vast majority of stuff is not & is made by people doing that. & even when it is there are people running those machine#<- and i'm not saying this in a soppy way tbc. this whole system is a nightmare of exploitation & to some degree I'm just continually amaze#by how insane this whole process is & also how completely un-transparent it is unless you are made to think abt it#another thing is noticeable when you look at our orders that most of what we sell isn't to customers it's to shops who then sell to custome#which then makes you think like. those plastic clips from france are they actually made in france or are we just buying them from france?#are they actually made by underpaid people in a country the name of which is completely lost to the chain of production at this point#anyways none of this is new it's just when you are working in a factory using this stuff you start wondering like.#what's the factory like that the person who stitched this banding together like. what's their day like there#wish we could talk abt how fucked up this all is - for them especially probably - together#thoughts
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“Armand should get to just kill Marius” tbh if Armand ever killed Marius he would pull a Sada Abe. Who said that
#no but I really do mean this literally bc#her reason for killing her client/lover wasn’t even revenge. at least not really#it was bc her entire life she’d been used and discarded and treated like trash#and she thought the only way she could stop him from abandoning her was to kill him and take a part of him with her#which is. actually very armand.#plus#I mean as someone who’s had the ‘hey wait a minute…. I should totally kill that guy’ thoughts about an abuser#even that for me wasn’t truly about revenge I don’t think#I mean I was angry. am angry#but it was almost like. it felt like the only way I could continue to live was if he didn’t exist#it’s a very dark strange headspace to be in and idk if it can ever really Just be about revenge#bc the relationship w the abuser is always way too complicated for wanting them dead to contain only one dimension#armand#iwtv tv#marius
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sorry for only saying this type of shit lately but i kinda wanna drive a car straight into a brick wall at the highest speed possible
#trying to keep it together so bad because i already know the problems and solutions and whatnot but i cannot do anything#i desperately just need to do something. accomplish any task. actually several would be nice. but i cannot stand just letting life go by#while i watch other people have the things i want. or even metaphorically living my dream like. that should be me why am i settling for thi#i hate even talking about this because i feel so stupid when i know it's not even a real tangible problem and that i actually DO have real#problems to tackle and the ability to do so but i'm choosing to be upset over the stupidest things i could possibly be sad about#and i can't even be sad about it in a normal way i'm cycling through like several different reactions to smth that isn't even real#or if it is real i literally do not have tanglible evidence for it one way or another like i'm driving myself insane for no reason#i can't even get catharsis because all i'm doing is digging a deeper hole for something i never should've gone back into in the first place#because i KNOW how i am i KNOW how i react to things and i still chose to do it lmao.#and i continue to choose to go through this shit instead of actively trying to change my life because... i'm lazy? and stupid? idk#negative self-talk isn't gonna get me to do anything either so let's just say i'm feeling particularly unmotivated like usual#i hated being a teenager but i really do miss when all my problems just amounted to 'someone was mean to me on tumblr today :(' or i failed#a test in chemistry or something. like i yearn for that simplicity becasue at this point all i'm doing is ruining my own life LMAO#i'm too scared to live i'm too scared to die so i just sit here and fantasize that life could be amazing if i wait#and i'll magically get everything i've ever wanted if i just wait long enough. and i know it isn't true and i still wait for it to happen.#because honestly like. i think deep down i am just convinced i will fail at anything i do when that shouldn't be what scares me.#what scares me should be never even allowing myself to fail because i never tried to do anything at all with myself or my life#like. wake the fuck up. get off your ass and put in the effort. learn some skills. gain independence and stability and discipline and do it#just live please i'm begging you just live so i can be happy don't i deserve to be happy... why am i not letting myself be happy#i'm literally keeping myself trapped in this negative feedback loop ON PURPOSE because teehee shiny toy#and it doesn't matter if the love is real it doesn't matter how i feel like i'm just using it as a distraction i can't say it's motivation#because it's barely motivated me at all. i have to start being realistic. 25 & just realizing you actually have to participate in your life#anyways. i've cried i've agonized i've pictured killing myself in 30 different ways. i think the only way i'm gonna feel better is#to just actually try this time without giving up. wish me luck
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Anyone out there got a solution for when you're feeling really stuck with your art and everyone and their mother tells you the solution is to do studies and figure drawings and other such things but even just thinking about doing those things makes you Spiral and want to Kill Yourself?
#monster noises#it's 1am no one will see this it's fine#it's a genuine problem though i Wish i could be aotherfucker who found it engaging and satisfying to do figure drawing#but i both A) had some bad experiences with this type of learning in highschool that i guess kinda make them triggering for me i guess?#and B) my brain doesn't seem to be able to like.. Learn Things.... That Way.... or at least not Obviously#i mean obviously i've improved as an artist over time in general#and i won't lie and say i've Never done figure drawing or studies or anything#but i never leave those situations feeling like i've Learned anything#mostly i've just sat for several hours growing increasinglyore frustrated#at my limitations and inability to achieve what i feel should come to me intuatively#and even if i Did feel like i've learned something i can seemingly never turn around and then apply it to something else#my brain does not make those lateral connections#it's why i can't do word problems in math.#and plus i also find stuff like figure drawing especially Rarely helps me make progress on the parts of my work i Actually want to improve#fluidity/mobility/stylization and surrealism#and only reinforces practices i want to pull away from#realism/'correctness'#all this combined leaves me just kinda stuck because i really can't power through my fear of these practicing methods#because i also don't find them useful#but i have no alternatives because it's like.. the only thing anyone suggests because theoretically is Does Work#but just not when you're Specifically Busted like I'm Busted#and so I just continue to stagnate until idk.. i find something else that can abruptly and suddenly launch me forward again?.#augh.. being an artist is The Most Enjoyable (_=<=)_
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hold on im still too mad at this one fucking guest to take a nap i need to be a hater for a minute
#so when i say hell on earth kinda day i mean HELL ON EARTH kinda day#we had a large bus travel group from slovakia and then some other guests and it was almost a hundred people for breakfast#the bus group all came at the same time they descended onto the buffet like fucking seagulls i swearrrrr#and i divided tasks like i had two helpers with me in the kitchen so one guys job was just to gather dirty dishes + washing + taking clean#ones back out#and the other guy running around the buffet checking whats needed + restockjng the cold food + telling me all the hot stuff that needs#refilling. so i was in the kitchen making all the hot foods on constant rotation + chopping fruits and making smoothies and shit#and like we managed. WE MANAGED. the buffet was never even half empty at any point like yes there was always something that was empty but#dude who cares if the vanilla yoghurt is empty for 5 mins just pick something else.#and everyone was happy with their breakfast and really nice when asking if we have more of this and that etc and then there was one lady#this ONE FUCKINGGGG lady i swear i almost threw hands#she was complaining about everythinggggggggggg#about there not being any more fried eggs (already in the pan. done in 2 mins. but when helper nr2 told her that she said well why did we#run put in the first place) about the bread station being full of crumbs like girl its BREAD. my giy was running up and down the buffet#wiping it off and cleaning as fast as he could but if you allow people to cut their own bread there will be fucking crumbs. the fuck.#then she also didnt like how the butter looked bc OBV people kept using the butter and no matter how many times you go in and make it look#neat again as soon as the next person takes some it will not look picture perfect anymore#like while i was running back and forth restocking stuff with my arms full she TOOK MY ARM and pointed at things and was like#'this looks shit' so does your fucking face but you dont see me getting physical about it#and then when i came out with a big tray of fresh glasses and cups she pointed to where someone had spilled some water at the dispenser and#went 'there is water on the buffet' (far away from any food + literally its just water) and i said 'yes i know' and she goes 'well it doesnt#look very appealing. this is the worst buffet ive ever seen' and i go 'well surely you have seen how busy we are' and she FUCKING GOES#'i dont care. i paid money for this.' and i go 'well that makes two of us for not caring. we'll get to it when we have the time.' and she#said something else idk what bc i was finished with my task and had SHIT TO DO BC PPL WERE STILL EATING#so i just turned and ran back to the kitchen to keep working#actually i got back to the kitchen and said to guy nr1 'i need to go punch something' and then went out the back and started kicking the#shit out of a pile of paper boxes and THEN i continued working#and then she started TAKING PICTURES of everything she didnt like of the buffet like full offense i hope she gets hit by a bus#like with some people you can just tell they never worked a day in the service industry and no matter what you do theyll keep complaining#anyways :) tag limit. apparently. so its nap time now. honk shoo snork mimimi and so forth <3
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it’s the last Sunday before Sunday’s banner ends so i suppose it’s about time for me to finally boot up HSR and pull him home… wish me luck
#i’m gonna need it bc i haven’t rlly played much since 2.3 so my savings are.. not Great#honkai star rail#hsr sunday#viddy game stuff#Seven.txt#it’s not that i don’t Want to play i just haven’t made the time to do so lately#i’m trying to juggle 4 live service gacha games at the same time and i am dropping all of the balls constantly 😔#i don’t feel like i’m doing much more than i used to but for some reason i seem to have a lot less free time for gaming lately#idk it’s probably just my time management getting worse#Anyways so yeah i haven’t played much since the Boothill hype. and i haven’t pulled a single new 5 star since his release#but i also haven’t played much at all during that time so i’ve only got 54 pulls saved :)#and if that’s enough to get me Sunday and his LC i’ll lose my fucking mind bc ain’t no way i’ll get that lucky#i Do have a good luck streak with Light Cones but i’ve only pulled for 3 so that’s not that impressive#i got Acheron’s on a won 50/50 at 14(!!!) pity and Aventurine’s on a won 50/50 at 22 pity so those were kinda insane to me#but then i don’t remember how it went for Boothill’s LC and i didnt log those pulls so i couldnt tell ya if the good luck streak continued#so anyways yeah probably gonna have to whale a lil bit but that’s ok bc it’s christmas time#i allow myself to whale (or. more like Dolphin perhaps) guilt-free on these games a lil bit on my birthday and christmas as gifts to myself#i used it on Xilonen and her sig weapon back around my birthday and now i’ll use this one on Sunday#ain’t no way i’m letting him pass me by when he’s the one that really hooked me into HSR in the first place#i was halfheartedly playing for a while but as soon as i saw the first hint of him on that livestream Penacony teaser i was Obsessed#don’t think i’ve ever been that excited for a character that i knew next to nothing about aside from a lil chibi avatar -#- and some line about him being malevolent. and i don’t even like the chibi style At All so that speaks to how strong his design was#or maybe it just shows how i see an angel coded character with weird-cool-head-wings and a halo and my brain worms start raving#well it’s 1am here so Technically it’s Monday now but shhhhhh it’s still Sunday in my Heart ok? and that’s what matters#and it’s still kinda Sunday on the American server bc the daily reset isn’t until like. 3am for me#but it’ll still probably record it as me having pulled him on the 23rd :/ oh well can’t turn back time#i guess i Could wait until Christmas morning but i don’t wanna flirt with the deadline so closely#this is close enough for me to count it as my Christmas pulls#and we spent Too Damn long without confirmation of his playability (though i always had faith in the leaks 😤🙏🏻) so i deserve this lmao#i mean i’ve waited longer. i waited for Scara! i waited for Baizhu! but still. all the ‘he wont be playable’ fearmongerers can kiss my ass
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#i have no idea how to respond to the whole qsmp situation right now#i mean. i dont watch it or interact with qsmp ITSELF#only the fans around it#I have made fanart for it but not really because i have any particular attachment to specific characters but just because#its a very good springboard for character design and inspiration#Im very involved with the fanbase though as the QSMPnews discord is one of my main discords#and I mainly use the fandom space as a way of practicing/getting into foreign languages#although i dont watch qsmp it still has impacted my life massively in the last year#this clusterfuck of project management is difficult to unravel and know what to do with#and its difficult to know exactly where to turn your attention#or who to blame#since theres so many levels of miscommunication that hasnt been helped by the sharing of it online#i think. even if QSMP doesn't survive#it would be ludicrous to state it as an inherently harmful server#since there has been an evident change in the minecraft gaming space because of it in multiculturalism.#heck IM direct proof of that as someone who does not reguarly engage with the server itself via streams#the fact that as a result of a 21 year old kid deciding to start a sever I can end up with a group of spanish speakers trying to explain#various concepts to me in my language while i respond in theirs is. insane#so do i think that the qsmp will survive?#um. look i dont see how it can.#I've never thought that it could#but i dont think that im going to demonise fans or avoid content relating to it#considering how integral the fanspaces around it are to me and my personal quest for language proficiency#however I will attempt to keep qsmp posts on my french/spanish blogs#well that was. long-winded#idk this is a very self-centred look into the qsmp and this whole situation#obviously I hope that the staff get paid but. I really have no idea where Quackity Studios might get that money from or how the#server should either end or continue
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the poll for how to arrange the brackets just finished with proceeding as originally planned winning!
so, without further ado, here are the lineups ^^
note :: songs with a * next to them may require a content warning. i'll provide specific warnings as soon as i have the time, but as of now please proceed with caution
main matchup bracket ::
alice of human sacrifice* by yugami p / fear garden* by chaa
magnet by minato p / romeo and cinderella by doriko
world is mine by ryo / world's end dancehall by wowaka
triple baka by lamaze p / the disappearance of hatsune miku by cosmo p
meltdown by iroha(sasaki) / luka luka★night fever by samfree
fire◎flower by halyosy / trick and treat by oster project
daughter of evil by mothy / dancing★samurai by kanimiso p
rolling girl by wowaka / matryoshka by hachi
madness of duke venomania* by mothy / alluring secret ~black vow~ by hitoshizuku x yama
senbonzakura by kurousa / outer science by jin
doubleganger by kulfiq / mikusabbath by utsu p
jinsei reset button by kemu / common world domination by pinnochio p
the fox's wedding* by masa works design / tokio funka by takamatt
heat haze days by jin / patchwork staccato by toa
six trillion years and an overnight story by kemu / lost one's weeping by neru
aishite aishite aishite by kikuo / echo by crusher p
setsuna drive by taki yoshimitsu / yoake to hotatu by n buna
a fake fake psychotropic by kairiki bear / therefore you and me by tadanoco
my r* by kurage p / i'm glad youre evil too by pinnochio p
chururira chururira dadada by kurage p / mkdr by deco*27
blessed messiah and the tower of ai by hitoshizuku x yama / 86 by dasu
law evading rock by neru / nakakapagpabagabag by dasu
sand planet by hachi / ghost rule by deco*27
monster by kira / hated by life itself by iori kanzaki
cause i'm a liar by mcki robyns p / honey i'm home by ghost
hole dwelling by kikuo / bring it on by giga
meteor by divela / seraphim on the ring by mitchie m
the court jester by thquib / casino by azari
king by kanaria / villain by teniwoha
lower by lanndo / phony by tsumiki
higanbana milk tea by vane / scapegoat by ghost
queen by kanaria / bug by kairiki bear
honorable mention bracket ::
electric angel by yasuo p (original), giga (giga arrange) / freely tomorrow by mitchie m
po pi po by lamaze p / go google it by wintermint p
black★rock shooter by ryo / bacterial contamination by kanimiso p
i like you, i love you by gevanni p / first love academy • school of true love by nem
(also a quick general note ! i don't have everything ready for a formal polished reveal at the time of posting this. i plan on updating this post with links to the songs and also a visual bracket when i have the time. they'll definitely be up soon, so make sure to check back in a bit for them ^^
i'll also make sure that reblogs are turned on for the final version!)
#vocaloid song showdown#sorry it's just a list for now i promise i'll update it and make it look nicer as soon as i get the chance :'D#i'll also add the playlists to the final post so those will finally be out soon too !#but for now it's just a quick little post to get the matchups out sooner rather than later since this is already kinda behind schedule :')#anyway it's still kinda bonkers to me that only one person nominated po pi po and electric angel#those songs used to be Everywhere it felt like#and unless i continually missed it no one sent in llevan polka :(#(to be fair itnisn't originally a vocaloid song. idk if i could fully qualify it bc of that but still shocked that it got no nominations)#oh also ! until i have the image finalized if anyone thinks any matchups should be tweaked at all feel free to lmk !#i was mostly judging popularity based on nominations and view count (reprints included) but it was hard to tell for some ???#like i remember a whole bunch of reprint channels getting deleted or privating all their videos and i'm sure that impacted some view counts#and rolling girl in particular has a lot less views than i thought it would ???#it's not a small amount by any means but it also seems to be on the higher side of the average for the final bracket songs#it was also unsurprisingly the most nominated song#so some of the matchups were a bit weird and wonky to put together fhdkfh#(especially echo actually too ? it got 2 nominations and barely made it but has the highest view count out of all the songs last i checked)#anyway all that to say if anyone wants to give feedback on the bracket pairings i'm open to it until i get the formal version up ( ^^)b#additionally if i missed any songs that should have some sort of warning please let me know fhdkdh#i added them only off the top of my head so i might've missed one#(the final version of this will have more specific warnings too. potential flash warnings as well)#EDIT :: changed up within 24 hours to up soon#i wish i could've had everything together within 24 hours but things came up and i need just a little more time :(#but i wanna get started on voting monday (february 27) for real this time ! no more putting it off :'D
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so many things about me could be explained by the fact that i didnt know people hung out with their school friends during summer/school breaks until i was 17
#like obv i knew you could do that#but it never occured to me that it actually happens#i used to go to summer camp with school friends in elementary school but that usually made me feel worse#for gender reasons mostly#theres something cruel about being the only girl and being separated from your friends for that#i remember one year they wanted girls in one bus and boys in the other one#and if it wasnt for the fact that my mom decided it was stupid and that i should be able to sit with my friends and that there was luckily#a free seat in that boys bus i wouldve to ride alone#idk#but other than summer camps i rarely saw anyone during summer breaks#and it was always normal for me to not see or talk to anyone for 3 months#and idk now it feels like thats how im meant to spend my time so i continually turn everyone down when they ask me if i want to meet up#i was in a group chat with some uni friends a while back and group chatę always inevitably make me feel like im weird and boring and unfunny#and serce as a constant reminder that im not as good friends with anyone as they are with each other#and im not used to texting ppl either not unless i have a specific question thats usually school related#so i. just left that chat and i had people ask me about it bc they were worried the said sth mean/offensive#and i had to make a fool of myself and explain that it was anxiety inducing#everyone was nice about it but it still makes me feel like shit#but ik id feel awful if i stated in it too#anyway im never going to make real kasting friendships and at this point i dont even know if i want to
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I am thinking very very hard abt the toy world guys and oh baby I love dropping in disturbing lore bits that are just sorta dripped into the actual plot and otherwise are not explained <3
#rat rambles#oc posting#I rly want to build this world in a way where the worldbuilding does exist and it does effect things but you still dont get to know abt it#and I especially rly want to hit this balance with the new choice lore Im cooking rn because its that sort of thing I think is more fucked#up the more that is left to be implied or completely untold#Im still figuring out what I want that balance to be though especially since I ultimately don't Need to tell basically anything#so its more so a matter of how much Im willing to risk putting on display for the sake of implying less relevant stuff#because its fun for me to know that the ripple of this event was far larger than any of the cast will ever know but idk if I want the#hypothetical reader to have that experience too or not and if so to what extent#because ofc I dont want to make it too obvious what this ripple looks like and what it may have impacted#and there is smth fucked up in its own right if I Did just fully keep all that to myself#and this does matter because I am toying around with the idea of committing a bit harder to this story and making it a thing one day#nothing is guaranteed but I do really Really like the story Ive been building here and I think it'd be fun to make it real someday#not anytime soon but one day maybe#maybe I could use it as my next step after spiraling upwards? we'll see.#speaking of spiraling upwards I'm planning on rescripting some stuff and continuing to work on the script soon#I am starting to have a clearer vision of what I want to do for the first chunk of the story#Im also deciding wether I keep the original prologue or not but Ill keep procrastinating on that one for a bit I think#the current prologue is intentionally kind of irrelevant to the rest of the plot but Im starting to doubt myself on if it's a good choice#Ill probably end up reworking it at least a little bit though if only to better establish the main plot by a bit#because its Technically kind of relevant the pov just isnt paying attention to the relevant parts#so maybe I can have her pay a smidge more attention for like a page or two and then call it good#anyways this does mean I will have to give the toy story a real name unfortunately :/#sighhhh. I hate naming stories soooo much.#maybe I can just pop open a random word generator and see what calls out to me
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when i saw the leaks i thought i really wanted to get goin' out sasha when she came out but now that we have better stock photos i'm like i have the smallest qualm in the world but it makes such a difference to me. why did they make her facial screening look so... incredulous
why is she lookin at me like that? what did i do to deserve that?
#also kinda disappointed they keep using that arm type. sorry i dont like bendy arm bratz#they're harder to dress or maybe that's just me#getting forever bratz yasmin's jacket on and off was a fuckin nightmare#why did they make sasha raise her eyebrows at me that's not very nice#idk if i really want any of them in this line. this one's kind of a flop for me#i like parts of each of them but none of them look quite finished#i know they're supposed to be a lower price point but these are a disappointment for me#i liked the prototypes better#also sorry but i dont like any of their shoes. all of them look bad#i still need a sasha for my collection. she's the only core 4 character i dont have yet#i wasnt really collecting when pretty n punk was reproduced i was more just watching from afar until recently#but i wish i had gotten pretty n punk sasha while i still could... here's to hoping they reproduce tokyo a go go#i know i say that every day. i will continue to say that every day#tales from diana#dolls#i dont mean to offend but cloe is the worst goin out doll she is suuuuch a disappointment#fuck ass bangs...#ive been digging cloe more lately but they did her wrong
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#i know why but its fascinating to go on fb right now and see people in my county#post about hotels and free places to evacuate and what not#like i get it because if we get hit with a lot of rain and wind im certain there will be more trees down#but considering how people were just weeks ago with the last one and how rhey always are#its like yeah maybe we should take things a little more on the serious side sometimes#like great for doing it now and hopefully that continues#but yall laugh at this shit every time because we usually luck out#and idk the wording of all this or the emotions its just like#but its also like if yall are gonna joke and not take them serious still like sort of prep for it#like im not saying we were or at the most prepared but we have have a decent amount of food and water and some other drinks#plus we have a grill if theres some non rain that we could use to cook etc#my parents lost power and had i think little to no food they could just eat#and i kno they didnt have water because they dont drink it in the same way menand this house does#i mean they didnt lose theres so theres that and they have like a well and stuff so presumabley maybe a little safer than city water but idk#but they just kept complaining about all the food going to waste#they eventually bought a small charcol grill and cooked something on it#and they survived well enough so maybe they did have some sort of food but i also think they went out#and ate somewhere#idk#how many people were like that around here because they didnt want to consider#that we would actually lose power#and now everyone is acting like the most on fb about prepping and what not#again i get it but... idk#tag rambles#dont mind me
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sypnosis. continuation of pitfighter!vi. vi’s drink at the rink is spiked with something she’d never experienced before. she goes back to the brothel in the hopes of finding you. part 3
warnings. smut (17+), aphrodisiacs, switch (mostly sub)!vi, kind of period sex? idk. no major part of it, lowkey angsty at the end
a/n. oh my gahhh guys u don’t understand how happy i am to get requests you guys r so sweet please leave more !! and GUYSSS i LIVE for sub!vi i’m so happy for this request
arcane masterlist ✯
vi never thought she’d get herself so deep into this. into you. she went to babette’s in the first place for a quick release, yet, she found herself enveloped in you. obsessed with you. every thought was about you, about how you made her feel.
but tonight, she had the overwhelming urge to see you. to devour you..
or maybe, for you to devour her?
vi didn’t care. so long as she could return to the feeling you gave her a week ago.
“babette.” vi would husk as she falls into the brothel, catching herself on the desk. “where is she?”
“who, darling?” babette’s eyebrows furrow.
“her. dammit.” vi pushed off the desk, stalking down the hallway. she ripped each and every curtain open, looking for your face, for you. she didn’t care seeing the other girls breasts, she didn’t care seeing the cocks and the horrified faces as she glanced in every room looking for you.
she didn’t understand why. she’d never felt this much desire for a person, but yet, here she was. she wanted you, wanted that feeling she had.
her mind fogs as it fills with images from the week before. she remembered your sweet whispers, the feeling of your hands on her body, violating her, pleasuring her in a way she had never been pleasured before.
vi would never consider herself a bottom. but right now, she didn’t care for titles. she just wanted you.
but, when she doesn’t find you in any of the rooms, her heart yearns. she storms back to the front-desk.
“where the fuck is she?!” vi nearly damn whines. she didn’t understand why she was so desperate.
“violet. who are you talking about?”
“the girl! last week, i was here, and there was a new girl here. where is she?”
“oh, you mean.. y/n?” babette chuckles. “oh, you’re not the first one back for seconds, honey. it seems she made an impression on you.”
vi feels a rush of anger. she knew this is what you did for work, yet, she couldn’t help the raw anger in her heart as she thought of someone else with you, taking those sweet gasps, your moans and words that haunted her thoughts.
vi wanted to be the only one doing that to you. making you writhe, cry. she wanted you to be the only one that did that to her.
“she went home. you can always come back next week.”
“next week?” vi’s breath hitches in her throat.
“she took the week off. you know how this job is, it can be draining.”
and it feels like vi’s breath can’t keep up with herself. she glanced back down the hallway, before snapping her head back to babette.
“where does she live?”
“i’m afraid i can’t give you that information.”
“dammit, babette!” vi slams her fist against the desk. why was she trying so hard? why was she so desperate?
she stills as she hears footsteps behind her. delicate, soft.
“it’s you.” you whisper behind her, and oh, your sweet, sweet voice nearly makes her legs give out.
it’s like everything clicks back together in her head. every nerve comes alive, sending cold shivers down her body, when she hears your voice.
“y/n, honey, what are you doing back?” babette asks you.
“oh, i just came to drop a few things off.” you shrug. your heart beats faster as you feel vi’s eyes on you. you were used to clients coming back, but she was different. she wasn’t like the other clients, vi was.. something else.
you spare a glance at her, and you gasp at her dishevelled state. vi suddenly remembered she never even asked for your name. now, she knew it.
“so, i’d.. id better get going.” you clear your throat, turning on your heel.
“wait—“ vi grabs your wrist, but you pull away. she walked behind you. “wait, wait, just—“
“i’m afraid i can’t be of service to you.” you shake your head, finally stopping. “one of the other girls can take you.”
“i don’t want the other girls.” vi exasperates, “shit— i want you.”
you feel your breath hitch in your throat.
truth is, you couldn’t be of service to her. you were on your period, which is why you were given the week off.
you turn to look at her. she’s heaving, moving closer to you. you see her lips are chapped from the air, and this time her face was clean from the face paint she had on last time.
“violet, i..”
as soon as you said her name, it’s like anything vi had left of any sort of will is gone. she grabs onto you, pressing you back, your back hitting the wall with a thud.
she’s panting. her hot breath hits your lips.
“you need to help me.” vi whispers as she cranes her neck, pressing her face against your neck, breathing in your scent like it was all the oxygen she needed.
“what’s up with you?” your brows furrowed, hands releasing to grab her face and pull her back. now closer, you can see her pupils are blown out.
and suddenly, you remembered rumours of a new drug going out, mostly for couples. because it was an aphrodisiac, and a strong one at that.
“you.. you take drugs?” you narrow your eyes, avoiding her gaze. you never pegged her as the type, but remembering she was a pitfighter, it wasn’t exactly frowned upon in that business.
“what?” vi’s eyes flicker. “no, fuck no, i don’t. i just drink.”
then, you think for a second. you gasp when you realize.
“you got laced.” you peer back up at her. “there’s a new drug— blossom. it’s an aphrodisiac, vi. but.. it’s not specific to make you want certain people, just.. sex. you didn’t have to come all the way here.”
“i don’t care for other people.” she huffs. “fuck, i— i just want you.”
you frown. “that’s just the drugs talking.”
“it’s not the drug.” you feel her nose press again your neck, her breath, her scent. and your mind is brought back to one week ago, when you had the night of your fucking life. you’ve never had better sex.
you suddenly remember her pretty little moans, her body, rough and scarred, but still so beautiful. you never expected for her to be submissive, but that night proved everything you thought to be wrong.
and it turned you on even more that you could have the best of both worlds with vi.
you could have a dominant, rough, teasing girl to give you pleasure. but, she could also submit to you on the snap of your finger, especially now.
all your needs are met with vi. so, why do you want to push her away so badly? fear? fear that this could just as easily turn into something more, and jeopardize your job?
fuck it. what’s one night?
“wha— what is that?” vi says so sweetly, so innocently. you brought her back to your house, and now, she was under your will just as easily as you could get a glass of water.
you eyes scan over her body. bloody, bruised, scarred. her budding breasts, the trail of hair just above where you’ve been purposefully avoiding.
you hum as you run your fingers over the marks on her neck, her breasts. her hands have been glued to you all night, trying to pry every last bit of clothing on your body, to consume you whole, to have nothing but your skin against hers, like how it should be. how it should always be.
“what, you’ve never seen one before?” you glance toward her as you raise the silicone cock toward her.
“i— i’ve.. heard of them.” vi swallows as her eyes follow it.
“think you can handle it?” you jest, leaning back so you could loom over her. you hold the straps over you torso, tightening it around your hips.
her eyes are trained on the harness. it stirs a weird feeling inside of her— she’d never been attracted to men, nor wanted anything to do with their dumb cocks. yet, when she sees you, with that pink dildo that reminds her of her old hair, she wants nothing but for it to be inside of her, deflowering her, taking every last bit of dignity she thought she had.
with you, it all goes away. she didn’t care anymore. she just wanted you.
vi’s hands find your bare back, pulling you against her, lips only inches away from yours. her hands roam your soft skin, clutching onto your stomach, wanting to fuse her body with yours.
“i don’t care if i can handle it.” she muttered, pupils nearly taking over her whole eyes. “give it to me. give it all to me.”
you hum as you press your lips against the corner of her mouth. she gasps, before letting a loud whine from her throat.
“kiss me.” she grasps your face, “dammit, kiss me.”
“isn’t that too.. intimate?”
vi groans in annoyance as she tightens her grip on your face, lips crashing against yours in a fiery, passionate movement.
and you realize, vi didn’t want just regular old sex. she didn’t want to be treated like a whore, like a client. she wanted passion; she wanted you to make love to her.
and you shake the thoughts way with the thought— it’s just the aphrodisiac.
slowly, you let yourself melt against her, melt against her lips. her tongue grazes your lip, just barely, and you take that as permission to let your tongue slip against hers, dancing in a passionate movement for dominance. vi’s hands tighten on your body, grasp at the plush of your thighs, so soft, so delicate.
and she thinks, just maybe, she’s slowly starting to get a grasp on herself again. she remembered— she should be the one in control.
but, then.. the thoughts fade away as soon as they come.
she gasped as you take hold of the silicone dildo, moving to press it against her slick, coating the tip of it in the warmth.
you hum as her will instantly diminishes, vi’s chest heaving at the reminder that right now, she was under your will. under your control.
you pull away from her lips to mutter, “sure you can handle this?”
“i’m fucking sure.” vi grunts, hands gripping your cheeks harder, pulling your lips against hers again. and she thinks, your lips were so soft. scarily soft. dangerously soft in a way that she was scared she’d never be able to leave you— the feeling of your lips, your hands, ever again.
and when your hands press against her stomach, softly grazing against the bruise beneath her rib, she grimaces in pain. but.. she found it even more dangerous that she didn’t want to shy away from the pain, from your hands. instead, she relished in it, and it only aroused her more.
vi’s mind goes into an instant fog as you slowly press the silicone inside her, entering her with a soft pop!
and she cries out in both pain and immeasurable pleasure. her hands roam into your hair, tightening against it as she tries to alleviate the raw pain of the stretch.
you frown as you realize you probably should have chosen a smaller one, considering it was her first time.
but, you grin again as you see vi’s spine arching up, toward you, pushing the dildo in more.
and vi swore she saw white.
“shh, shh..” you whisper, breath trickling down her neck. “you can take it.”
“oh, fuck!” vi’s eyes close as her face tightens fully.
“relax.” you hum against the shell of her ear, hand grazing over her stomach, up, and up and up, rubbing against her breasts. “can’t do anything when you’re so damn tight, vi.” you giggle into her ear. “eyes on me. come on.”
you tap just underneath her eye, against the tattoo on her cheek you could now see without the face paint. it was of her name. a little egotistical, much?
she opens her eyes with a damn whimper, and you swore it was the most sexiest thing you’ve ever heard.
“that’s it.” you glance at her. the way you were looking at her, so primal, so full of lust, vi swore she could melt into a puddle in her spot. she was so far gone now, she knew that there was no going back.
her eyes train on you, not daring to look away. she finds herself lost in your eyes, and you in hers, so blue, so soft. she was submitting to you with her very own eyes, and you knew that, even without looking at her body yearning for you.
you take the chance at her body relaxing to push your hips forward, relaxing yourself into her until your hips touched hers, your bodies fusing together.
her mouth gapes, her eyes rolling back. oh, she was so far into this hole now.
your hands grab her calves, pressing her back, nearly pushing her down so far her knees could touch her ears with one movement.
and oh, the stretch, so painful, filling her, pressing so deep inside of her unlike anything she’s ever felt.
vi’s hands race to cover her face, a whine escaping her throat as she panted, feeling so, so full.
“what’s wrong, hm? feel too good?” you jest as you lean closer.
vi says nothing. you test the waters by using the new position to press deeper, angling your hips to hit the spot you knew always worked.
in both men and women, there’s always a soft spot that will make them bleed in submission, that will let you fully take control of their head. that’s what you did best.
vi cried out. she knew that damn spot, of course she did, but she never imagined it would be used against her, that someone would hit that spot, and hit it so fucking good.
“thi—! this position..” she mewled, “ts’ too embarrassing.”
and you fucking laugh. “you’ll learn soon that nothing is embarrassing when you’re with me.
“you’ll learn to forget yourself in these moments.” you tease your tongue against her jaw, hands moving to her thighs, pushing her down deeper. “embarrassment doesn’t exist with me. you’ll see.”
as if to solidify your words, you gently pull your hips back, till the dildo was about halfway out, then you slam your hips back against hers. vi cried out, voice cracking at the sudden movement.
“this okay?” you’d whisper against her skin.
vi’s heart nearly melts. even in this moment, so crude to put her in such a lude position, you’re still so damn sweet to her, just like last week.
but, vi can’t respond. she can’t form words. she didn’t remember how, or when she forgot how to speak until the words catch into her throat.
slowly, her eyes open and she nods her head. it was more then okay, it was the best damn thing she’d felt in her entire life.
“i need words, vi.”
“y.. ye—s! it’s okay.” vi sputters, face rushing full of blood, blushing so cutely. you chuckle.
“good.” you smile against her pulse, pressing a soft kiss there. then, you rock your hips back, just barely, before thrusting your hips back in.
you continue at the slow, teasing, torturing and mean pace. you feel vi’s legs shiver against you, her head pushing back into the pillow.
you feel a sound in her throat, against your lips, and she pushes her body closer to yours.
her entire body shakes with each thrust, each push back inside of her, so deep, pressing just barely over that spot each time.
and she realized, she wanted you to be rougher. she wanted you to act like how she treats other girls she sleeps with, how she treated you that one night. maybe that was all she wanted all along— projecting the way she treated the girls because she wanted someone to do that to her.
she didn’t know that until you, you, you, came into her life.
every thought was you. every, single, thought. mind a total haze, she forgets herself. she doesn’t care to be quiet anymore, she doesn’t care to try and stay reserved. she wanted you to do whatever you wanted to her.
and she’d probably let you.. if you weren’t treating her like a damned delicate doll.
“g..” she starts, a wonton moan escaping her lips. “faster.”
“oh?” you grin. “you ready now, huh? all stretched out?”
“ye— ugh! yes, i’m—‘i’m ready.” she grasps onto the sheet beneath her.
“hm, you sure?”
“yes, i’m fucking sure!”
“you’d better watch your mouth, vi. or this is just gonna go slower.” you move to meet her gaze, nose pressing against hers. “got that?”
vi looks like a puppy who’s being teased a treat, being made to do tricks. soft little gasps, soft sounds leave her as she clutched the sheet harder. she swallows, before slowly nodding.
“good.” you say as you nip at her nose, before adjusting your hold on her thighs, propping yourself up.
you tilt back to spit on her already sopping folds, and she bites her lip at the lude gesture.
you slowly, oh so slowly, pull your hips back till just the tip is left inside of her.
then, you ram your hips back against her, so roughly it makes the bed shake.
a loud noise leaves vi. she grips so hard on the sheets she pulled the fitted sheet off the bed, but not paying it no mind. all she cared about right now was getting more of this feeling, more of you.
“fuck!” vi cried out.
you chuckle. then, you begin at a steady, harder, faster pace. your hand lets go of her thigh, letting it drop down on the side of the bed, hand moving to graze over her face.
your hands push her hair back out of her face, clutching it so tightly. vi heaved at the feeling, mouth agape as you press your hips faster, harder, so harsh against that spot she felt like she was going insane.
then, you let go of her hair. and you brush your fingers over her lips, prying them open, pressing your fingers against her tongue.
“wouldn’t want the neighbours to hear, would you?” you had no neighbours. but, vi didn’t know that. “wouldn’t want them to know i’m fucking you so good like this, hm?”
vi doesn’t respond. her eyes are fully gone, concentrated on you, and you feel a soft gag against your finger.
she doesn’t think as she lets her teeth clamp against your fingers, biting so hard because she can’t handle the pleasure, so hard it drew blood.
and the taste of your blood enough was to send her over the edge.
you feel the vibration of her voice against your fingers, her entire body erupting into a shaking mess.
“oh!” your eyes gleam as you glance down, slowing your thrusts, relishing in the glance of the pink dildo slowly staining white.
and your heart leaps as you see her hips pulling away. oh, how hilarious.
“you had me in the same position before.” you husk, “and you didn’t give me mercy. so greedy, aren’t you, vi?”
you let your fingers slip out of her mouth so she can speak.
“god, oh my god!” she gasped, entire body collapsing against your bed. “i-i fuck, god..” her hips drag away from you, stomach jolting from your touch against her stomach.
“so.. wouldn’t it only be fair to give you the same treatment? punish you?”
vi shakes her head violently.
“no, no!”
you still as you see the tear on her cheek.
“no more. no more.” she pants, eyes slowly opening to glance up to you.
you let your eyes close with a sigh.
“oh well. another night.” you snort as you slowly pull the dildo out of her, letting it hang, and resting it on her thigh. “let me clean you up. that sound good, hm?”
vi stares at the ceiling with no response. you snort, before pulling yourself away, hucking the strap off to some random place. vi suddenly looks to you, before roughly grabbing your wrist.
“don’t go. please.” she whispers.
you stiffen at her words. slowly, you relax. and you obey her wishes.
“alright. i won’t.”
vi’s hands travel down your body, hooking around your waist and pulling you against her chest.
even after what you thought was probably the orgasm of vi’s life, she was still a fighter after all, and she was strong.
you let yourself melt against her. her hands graze over your back, body still shaking as she reminisced in the feeling of her high.
“that.. that was a one time thing.” vi suddenly says. she swallowed. “it was just an aphrodisiac. i am not a bottom.”
you pick your head up off her chest, narrowing your eyes at her. she quickly adverts her gaze, biting her tongue, a harsh blushing finding her cheeks. you snort.
“keep telling yourself that, vi. that’s what every stubborn top says after they’ve seen me.”
she makes a tch sound. “whatever. bunch of wimps.”
you giggle.
it was probably around two hours later, and you hadn’t moved from where you two both were. your hands played with her hair.
and you realize, this was the first time you ever stayed with a client after their appointment. and it continued to dawn on you that this probably wasn’t what a client and a businesswoman’s relationship should be like.
“hey, y/n?” vi rasps, her voice laced with tiredness and sleep. “i.. i have to talk to you about something.”
you still. was she.. going to say something bad? good? proclaim love? you’d been in that rodeo before— let’s say, it was the main reason you had left your old brothel in piltover.
you glance toward her.
“yeah?”
“i won’t be coming back.” she stares at the wall as she says this.
you snort. “that’s what they all say—“
“no, i mean.. i mean, there’s someone.” she sighs. you still your hands.
she props herself up. you pull away from her chest to sit up straight.
“someone as in.. someone you love?”
vi glances toward you.
“no. i.. i don’t know.” she shakes her head, avoiding her gaze. “not exactly.”
you say nothing.
“do you want to know the reason i got into pit fighting?” vi stares down at her hands, “well.. a lot of shit has happened in my life. it feels like.. like i’ve never got a chance to take a breath of air before another thing was thrown at me.”
she inhaled. “i.. i was in stillwater prison for four years. got thrown in when i was probably.. sixteen?” she shakes her head.
“so.. you escaped? or something?”
“no. no, uh..” she grimaces, like it pains her to talk about it. “the girl. the.. someone, i guess. she got me released to help her with this stupid investigation. an enforcer.” she chuckled. “stupid girl.”
“we.. she was my first kiss. my first, i guess.. crush, if that isn’t too kiddish. i thought everything would go great after that. then.. shit happened. and, she left.”
your brows furrow. she left? just like that, and she deserves to hold vi’s heart?
“but.. i guess i came to the realization that i couldn’t stay away from her.”
vi’s face tightened as she thought. caitlyn should have been the one she was thinking of while under the effects of that blossom drug. but, she wasn’t. it was you. and that weirded her out. confused her.
“can’t just let all that go to waste, you know?” vi ignored her thoughts. “so, i’m gonna find her. even if.. even if she’s gotten over me. there’s always friends, right?”
you purse your lips. then, you stand. you grab a robe from a hanger and tie it around your body.
“you shouldn’t let your first love plague yourself forever, vi.” you say tightly. “you may never be able to let it go. trying to fix something that’s already broken won’t go as you expect.”
vi says nothing.
“take it from me. i thought i’d loved someone before. but.. it was bad for me. it tried to salvage any relationship i got into because i didn’t want to accept change, that people i thought i’d loved wouldn’t change, would remain in the same spot forever. but, that’s life. people change, for the worst, for the better.. it’s human nature.”
then, i chuckle. “i’m not about to give you a lecture. i’m not your mother. but, just.. think about that before you drop everything for a girl who may have already moved on from you.”
“don’t revolve your life depending on other people’s love. especially if they abandoned you after taking your first kiss.”
“no, caitlyn, she’s.. she’s different. she was grieving. it was my fault—“
“no need to start placing blame on yourself. you can’t control a feeling like love.”
you step toward her.
“cherish that. cherish the way you love. i may not know you, but.. i can tell you have a good heart. if this caitlyn girl is truly who you love, then let it happen.”
“your mind is still young. emotions is all you have.”
you tap her forehead.
“so go.”
vi’s forehead creases as she thinks.
“but.. vi?” you slant your head. you lean back toward her, pressing yourself closer so your noses touched. you brush a hand over her face.
“i know you won’t be able to resist me for long. you’ll be back.”
vi’s eyes are trained on you. her breath picks up, before she suddenly stands, scrambling away from you.
“uh! i, um, i have to go now.” vi swallows, rapidly picking up her clothes and putting them on.
you giggle as you let yourself fall into your pillows.
“see you, then, violet. i hope our time was good for you.”
she spares you one last look, and you swore you’d never forget the gleam in her eyes, the red on her neck and on her cheeks. so adorable.
she stalks toward the door, moving for the handle. then, she stills. she takes a deep breath.
“y/n?” she says softly. “if i.. if i ever do come back. just know, it’s my turn to use that thing on you.”
you feel your breath catch in your throat at that damn smirk.
without another word, she opens the door and slams it closed behind her.
you blink.
“damn, that girl gives me whiplash.”
a/n. said i wasn’t going to continue it, but here we are. um, expect a part three. probably. maybe. 🤗 idk still deciding
for @nobodyknowsimalesbian777 , hope my sub version of vi was to ur liking 😭 sorry it went a little off track of the request i got lost in it
find more about my taglist here.
#fanfiction#writing#arcane league of legends#arcane season 2#vi arcane#arcane#vi x reader#arcane smut#vi smut#arcane x reader#violet arcane
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