#i mean as in saying my thoughts on it like a review
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Meet the Family 6
No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.
Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as dubcon/noncon and other possible triggers. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.
This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.
Summary: Your boss needs a last-minute favour for the holidays.(petite!reader)
Characters: Lloyd Hansen
Note: gotta right my final reflection today and then I don't have schoolwork for a while!
As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me <3
Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Asking for more or putting ‘part 2?’ is not feedback.
Love you all. You are appreciated and your are worthy. Treat yourself with care. 💖
“So, when is the wedding?” Lillians asks over a half-empty plate.
You take your time chewing. You don’t have an answer. As far as you’re concerned, this is Lloyd’s plot so he can come up with the detail. You're here to enjoy the wine.
“Uh, the spring,” he blurts out.
“The spring?” Gwenyth repeats. “Don’t you have a specific date?”
“Erm, May something...” Lloyd says.
“May? That’s so soon. If you don’t even have a date, I doubt you have a venue or a dress or--” Lillian counters.
“Oh, well, we were thinking of. Er...” Lloyd turns his fork in this hand. “Eloping?”
“Eloping,” Gwenyth hisses. “Eloping? Does that mean we’re not invited? It’s simply not fair.”
“Mom, I--”
“Gwen, he didn’t say that, did he?”
“Well, dad--”
“We are invited,” William states. It’s not a question.
“You see what happens?” Gwen takes her cloth napkin and folds it, dabbing her tearless eyes, “the groom’s mother is always excluded. He is my son--”
“A destination wedding would be nice,” William suggests.
“Uh, of course. Yeah. We’d like to go somewhere far away, but uh, not far from you...” Lloyd stammers and you kick his foot. You could laugh at how flustered he is if you were entwined in his lies. He sits straighter, “We’ll have the invitations out soon. Everyone’s invited of course--”
You kick him again. He slips his hand on your knee and squeezes, “we’re still figuring things out,” he declares.
“Oh, it seems so!” Gwenyth clasps the napkin between her hands. “Darling, you must let me help. And Lillian. Her wedding was fabulous.”
“Which one?” Lloyd snickers.
“We’ll see if you even have one,” his sister retorts.
He cackles and William sighs.
“Yes, weddings. All that mess,” William drawls. “The ladies can suss out the details but I do believe it’s time for the yearly rematch.”
“You still do that?” Lloyd asks.
“Hm, of course. It is a tradition. What’s the matter? You too old, boy?”
“Speak for yourself,” Lloyd bounces back, shocking you with the snipe.
Another surprise, William laughs.
“Ben may need to sit out,” William suggests.
“Oh, to the contrary, old boy, I’ve had just enough bourbon that I am a prized asset in my state,” the man with the fluffy ash hair doffs his mug.
“Hm, yes, Carter, Linus, Ransom, Ben, myself, Lloyd,” William counts on his fingers, “Dawson, Lewis, Hudson, and Owen. Quite the lineup this year.”
You look at Lloyd confused. He doesn’t look excited. You reach under the table and move his hand off your leg. He flinches and glances over at you.
“Is this some sort of cribbage tournament?” You scoff under your breath.
He shakes his head. “Touch football...”
“Football...” You peer across the table with concerns. At least four of the players named are a bit too old to be running around in the snow.
“It’s fine. Just like tag,” Lloyd shrugs unconvincingly. You chew your lip as you consider him. His eyes follow the movement and you stop yourself. “What?” He asks.
“I’m just trying to picture it,” you say. “You don’t seem like a football person.”
“What does that mean? You don’t seem like one either? What would you know?” You hiss back.
“Ah, dear,” William calls across the table, “do not fear for his safety. We are all family, no one means to hurt each other.”
Despite his assurance, you’re even less convinced that there won’t be some horrible accident. Again, you remind yourself, it’s Lloyd’s problems. Your sole focus is the money. And the wine.
You reach to drain your glass, “I’m not worried at all,” you smile, “oh, and honey,” you turn to Lloyd, “you never asked but I love football. I’m a big Bills fan, actually. Remember, laces out.”
Lloyd grumbles and stands. The other men do in a lazy succession. They stretch and groan over the scraping chair legs. The women rise too and start to clear the table. You’re not a fan of that divide; the men get their fun and the women get to tidy, but you will not be as rude as they’ve accused you.
You start to gather cutlery and plates. Lloyd startles you as he puts his hand on your hip to stop you. You face him.
“Don’t worry, I’ll be fine.” He says.
You bat your lashes and smirk. You’re amused that he thinks you’re that concerned.
“Oh, I’m sure you can handle a game of tag, but you might want to stretch. There’s no one you can pay to run the ball for you,” you snort.
You move past him and follow Lillian. He huffs as you leave him to the rabble of old man talking trash. As you enter the kitchen, Lillian sets the plates on the counter and you put yours next to hers. You take the top one and scrape it clean.
“You’ll enjoy it. It’s always a good show. I am interested to see the teams this year,” she trills. “Of course, without Lloyd around for so long, I had to step in. Unfortunately, this year, I'm in no condition to lace up.”
“Oh, it sounds like a fun tradition,” you remark.
“It’s wonderful fun,” she assures as Gwenyth enters. Lillian shifts closer and lowers her voice, “also, you might want to consider, Lloyd wasn’t keeping us from you, perhaps it was the opposite. We are a rather selective bunch.”
You meet her bruising sneer and smile. The wine helps drown your agitation. Why should you be bothered? Once you have your money, it won’t worry what the bloated bitch thinks? Oops, let’s keep those thoughts inside.
“Oh, I’ll be sure to thank him for that,” you wink. She frowns.
“Leave the plates at the sink, ladies,” Gwenyth commands. “Let’s grab out coats! The powder’s fresh. It’ll be a good match.”
It’s odd. You really didn’t take this horde of pretentious ghouls as the football type. Well, maybe not the NFL-watching, tailgating type in pickups or minivans. Still, you can’t help but be a little amped for a Christmas game.
There’s a crunch at the front door. Andrea, Angela, and Raquel warble with Gwenyth, as Shanna, Linda, and Lana come over to admire Lillian’s bump and ask her about the birth plans, while you stand to the side and watch Beatrice with a few younger girls, the elder daughters from all those pairing, who are less than enthused about the whole show. The parade of names escape you though you hardly wonder who is who.
Your eyes wander to the next room. The younger kids are kept busy before the large Christmas tree by women you haven’t been introduced too. You assume those are the nannies Lloyd mentioned. It’s rather grim, a family divided as if the younger generation were a nuisance. Despite the enthusiasm for Lillian’s coming child, the poor soul will only end up at kids’ table apart from their mother.
The men chatter near the open door as a brisk wind flows in. As you reach for your coat, you collide with another. You turn in the tight space to face Ransom as he cracks his neck.
“You going to cheer me on, baby girl?” He smirks at you.
You stare at him crisply. You continue to pull your coat on as you censor the variations of ���hell no’ rolling through your mind. You look around for an escape but there isn’t one. The entry way is packed with bodies.
“It will be cathartic. You’d just be cheering on the team, not necessarily, cheering against your beloved fiance,” he snickers.
You look at him dully, “oh, I'm certain you’ll run circles around a team full of middle aged and elder men.”
“You love to see it,” he grins and reaches around you. Before you can react, he pinches your ass again. You hit his chest as he pulls away and rubs his fingertips together, “for good luck.”
“You’re nasty.”
“Look at who you came with, sweetheart,” he sticks his tongue out and turns away. “But I understand if it’s my ass you’re watching out in the snow.”
You curl your lip as you zip up your coat and shuffle over near the women. The men disburse through the front door ahead of you. They holler at each other, pointing impatiently, “over there.”; “Ben, too far”, “No, you snap--”
You watch them break into team in the snowy street, barren of cars in the calm of Christmas Day. You tuck your hands into your pocket as you stand along the curb and the other women puff clouds into the frigid air. Lazy flakes swirl down and add to the glowing ambiance of the wintry midday.
William, Ransom, Linus, Dawson, and Hudson huddle on one side with the ball as the others, Benson, Lloyd, Carter, Lewis, and Owen watch, waiting to respond to the first play. You’re not expecting anything more than wobbling throws and clumsy runs, still, it’s better than arguing at the dinner table.
Ransom gets down to snap to William. The ball passes hands as Dawson runs a route and Ransom and Linus block the front light. Hudson takes the running backs route for the fake handoff before William searches for his receiver. Not bad for amateurs, especially given the demographic.
The ball is caught as Owen makes the touch. No proper tackle, just a tap on Dawson’s shoulders. The play end as the next play is called in the huddle. Instead of moving down the street, the team resets at the same line, counting yard from that point.
Another snap. The run is stuffed as Lloyd makes the touch on Hudson, almost indifferent about the play. The women cheer but not at the right times. They’re not really paying attention as they garble about desserts or their hair stylists.
“You know what would be perfect, some mulled cider,” Beatrice suggests. The comment does make you thirsty but you’re not so sure you’d trade the cold outside for that inside.
The ball switches possessions. Lloyd takes the snap. You’re a bit surprised but Benson is swaying in his blocking position. That’s less shocking.
Snap. A pass. Straight and on target. Carter, one of William’s brothers, makes the catch and runs for ten more. Or what’s assumed to be that man.
A new call. Lloyd rambles out signals in a parody of a real game. “Blood. Wine. Beemer, beemer beemer. Black sheep...” Your eye is drawn by Ransom as he shifts low. You tilt your head.
“Offside,” you mutter as the ball snaps. Ransom’s across the line before the blockers can react and before the ball can change hands. In an instant, Lloyd is in the snow beneath the other man.
“Oh my!” “Gosh.” “Ransom...” The concern washes over the audience of women as the men stop the play and turn to look at the two men in the snow.
The latch onto each other in a toothless brawl. Lloyd knocks Ransom into the snow and grabs his neck. Ransom grips him in turn and they roll back and forth, trying to throttle each other. The other men move to separate them.
“You two,” William booms.
“Oh, Ransom, what are you doing?” Linda rushes over.
“Linda,” William growls as Lloyd is dragged away from her son. “We were kind in letting him come here after everything--”
“Oh, don’t blame him. Your son is just as bad.”
“My son has a job,” William snarls back.
“Don’t worry, that cuck barely got a ding on me,” Lloyd sneers as he shrugs the other men off. There’s a raw and red patch on his cheek bone and snow in his mussed hair. Scratches peek out above his collar as he coughs.
“Fucker’s weak as pudding,” Ransom jeers back.
“Both of you. That’s disgusting,” William growls. “Enough. Both of you, benched.”
“I didn’t do anything,” Lloyd whines.
“Doesn’t matter. You’re ruining the game,” William says. “Both of you, go inside.”
“He antagonized him,” Linda squalls, “you heard his play call--”
“Your son’s grown. He can handle words,” William rebuffs. “You can go inside with them.”
You’re disappointed. It wasn’t bad while it lasted. Lloyd chuffs and steps around his father. Several bodies move to keep him away from Ransom. He rolls his eyes and waves them off.
“He’s not worth it,” he stomps over to you. “Whatever, let’s get some hot chocolate or some shit. Better than standing in the snow with a bunch of geezers.”
He grabs your arm and you have no choice but to let him lead you away. You can hear Ransom pleading his own case, whining at his mom, as she huffs and sighs. The argument fades as you near the front door.
Lloyd pushes through and drags you in with him. He checks his reflection in the wall mirror, fixing his hair as he winces. He left his coat and blazer inside, wearing only his black turtleneck, now wet from the snow and streaked with salt along his back. He shakes his head at himself.
You undo your coat and hang it. You almost want to call it a day. You came to brunch, you faced the wolves, and there isn’t enough wine to make them tolerable.
He touches his cheek and hisses, “ugh, bastard.”
“Hard hit,” you say.
“Sure was. Who knew the brat had it in him?” He gingerly presses his cheekbone, “ugh, well, Pix, how about you kiss it better?”
“What?” You grimace. “No way.”
“But it hurts,” he turns to you and pushes his bottom lip out.
“Uh uh,” you cross your arms. “We need to talk. About the wedding.”
“Really? You wanna talk about that?”
“Lloyd, I said a courthouse.”
“I know but...” he pauses and glances around the entry way, “come on.”
He ushers you down the hall and into the bathroom. He shuts the door and you’re once more trapped in the tight space with a Hansen twin. He stands in front of the door as he faces you.
“Look, I’m just trying to get this done. It’s good for both of us. You want your money, don’t you? So you need to play along.”
“I am.”
“It’s just a fucking ceremony and a dinner.” He argues.
“It’s not what I agreed too.”
“Yeah, well, we have to be convincing if we want our prize.”
You scowl, “I really am not enjoying this whole ‘we’ narrative.”
“That’s the script, Pixie pie. So put a little bit of energy into it.” He steps closer and you stiffen as he puts his hands on your shoulders. “Loosen up and you might actually have a bit of fun.”
“It was supposed to be the holiday and the courthouse,” you insist.
“Not good enough. We both know it.”
“I want more money,” you grit.
He pouts again, “you drive a hard bargain for such a soft little thing.”
You push him away as he goes to stroke his cheek.
“Two million. I’m not wearing a white dress for anything less.”
“Baby, please, you’re bleeding me dry--”
“I’m not blind, Lloyd.” You look around emphatically, “I know what I’m asking for is a fraction of what you’ll get. I’ve worked for you long enough to know your tactics. Whatever I ask, I’m being undersold. Two or I walk right now.”
He takes a deep breath and lets it out, “let me just see a little ass.”
You blink, stunned by his barter. You shake your head. “Not for a three million.”
“Ugh, fine. You’re so damn stubborn. I like it but I also hate it,” he sighs. “Two,” he pulls his hand free and offers it. You shake it with a triumphant smirk. “Let’s seal that the right way.”
He tightens his hold on you as he grabs the back of your head and bends to smother you with a bristly kiss. You squeak before you can pull away. You scoff at him and yank your hand free to wipe your lips.
“It’s gonna happen, Pixie,” he grins. “Trust.”
#lloyd hansen#dark lloyd hansen#dark!lloyd hansen#lloyd hansen x reader#series#fic#meet the family#dark fic#dark!fic#the gray man
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Finally answering this:
Thank you, @saintjustitude for asking me to rant—I adore doing just that :]
(First of all, thank you to everyone for waiting. I know I took a lot of time to write this, but I had only around an hour free every day, and I usually spent it searching for sources. My knowledge is limited; the play isn't available. I rely on memoirs, interviews, and reviews.
My inbox is always open, and if anyone has any Wojtek questions, I'd be absolutely delighted to answer them. And I mean it. It can be anything.
Every quote was translated by me. All my sources are listed.
Unfortunately a part of it wasn't saved, and I don't have access to some info anymore but this post will probably serve as the beginning of a longer thread.)
And now: “Sprawa Dantona” (1975).
1. How did it all come to be? Why was ‘The Danton Case’ and not any other play?
When I say ‘Danton’ directed by Wajda, most probably think of the 1983 version, a political metaphor: Comsal representing the Polish government, Dantonist representing Solidarity. Was it like that originally? Was Wajda just calling for a fight with the government, transforming Przybyszewska's work to fit his own narrative?
In short: No! (At least if we're referring to the 1975 version, the film is completely another story; I'll gladly make another post about it.).
Zygmunt Hübner (I have mentioned him already in this post) chose Wajda to direct the play even though the latter was a relatively young director; something was telling Hübner that giving the play to him would be absolutely necessary. Pszoniak later referred to that event as Wajda being cast in it as much as he himself was.
The play was simply a way to introduce the artistic team Hübner created. There was none of some “noble patriotism’ or 'anti communism'. (None of what Wajda described as the purpose of the later film.)
Why was that play in particular chosen? That is unknown.
“The idea [of exhibiting that play] came from the fact that Hübner was looking for a play (…) that would present his artistic team as a whole, which he assembled with great imagination and intuition.”
At first, Pszoniak laughed into Hübner's face when offered the role. He thought it fine, intruiging, but the character of Robespierre was so foreign to him that he couldn't give anything from his own person or his own experiences to his Maximilien.
He asked for the role of Danton; that role seemed to fit him way better with "his [Danton's] sensuality, his dynamic physiognomy, and his balls."
Wajda and Hübner were quite insistent and more or less forced Pszoniak into the role.
“Hübner and Wajda were so stubborn that they did not take my objection into account. Nothing there [in the role] suited me; there was no starting point for the role. I had no right to play it. But they convinced me for so long that the whole situation with ‘The Danton Case’ became a dead end.”
The transformation from simply a good play to something entirely political in Wajda's eyes was very slow but steady. On that a little later.
2. Pszoniak wasn't ready to play Robespierre? How did he prepare for the role then?
It's very important to note that it was not bad will that made Pszoniak initially refuse the role, but the theater typecast he was put into and which he almost got used to. All of his power and stage presence were connected to his own physicality, to this sort of mobility and expression that he had to (presumably at Wajda's request) abandon while playing Robespierre.
Wojtekspierre getting his hair cut from a man with surprisingly modern glasses
Whether he was in a tragedy or comedy, it was the unique liveliness that made him so different. Suddenly he was offered the role of Robespierre, a man he only knew from unfavorable history books, portrayed a certain way by Przybyszewska, and he's made to stand before the expanse of that character's personality in a try to make him someone physical.
While it might seem quite shocking, when preparing for the role, Pszoniak didn't even read any Robespierre biography. Why? According to him:
“I didn’t think at all about a historical figure, and besides, you can’t play any historical figure. I put aside the books on the French Revolution. I read them much later, when, years later, in Paris. (…) I didn't want to portray a historical figure, so I didn't judge or evaluate him. I simply tried to get closer to him, to understand him as a person. Przybyszewska herself made it easier for me. The text of the play clearly indicated that she was fascinated by him. (...) Przybyszewska constructed this character in an unusual, enigmatic way. I clung to this fascination, it was a reason for treating Robespierre with empathy. This is a necessary condition for creating a character, without empathy you will never be able to get closer to the man you are to become on stage. Wandering through the labyrinth of his emotions, motives for action, opinions he expresses, I became so strongly attached to him, he took over me so much, that as a result I became Robespierre-Pszoniak.”
Pszoniak admitted he didn't want to play a politician [but, of course, as we all know, he was later forced to in ‘Danton’ (1983)].
The preparations took time and patience (especially from his wife - Barbara). Pszoniak tends to describe it as a painful process. Robespierre's physical expression was compared to being bound tightly by his own flesh, almost imprisoned by it, but freed by his mind. Pszoniak realized that all of the power in portraying Robespierre could only be gained from a deeper reflection. How to show a mind on stage?
That Pszoniak didn't know, and so he made the decision to show Robespierre's determination and faith instead of simply a calculated brain. To show a path, an objective. That's why the last scene was so hard to play (conversation between Robespierre and Saint-Just after Danton's death); he even asked Wajda for a white cloth as a makeshift shroud. To Pszoniak, that scene meant the symbolic death of his character. Robespierre (described by Pszoniak as a “very intelligent man") feels that inevitable peril awaits in the near future. The actor often described a feeling of mourning something or someone after the performance.
The challenge of creating the role, in the words of Wojciech Pszoniak:
“I started to control all my reflexes morning till night; from waking up to falling asleep, I was destroying myself. In everyday life, even the smallest activity, I slowed down; I was reducing and cleaning up [every one of] my habits. Torment, the absolute torment of controlling yourself, of managing yourself. Zero spontaneity, the phone rings, my first reaction—run to answer it—I stop myself calmly, in control of every slowed-down gesture. I imitated Zygmunt Hübner's focused gait; I noticed how he placed his feet. And I started walking like that myself. That's how I set a different, more controlled way of moving. After that, I turned to gestures, head movements, the way of getting up, and gesticulation. I felt that I was different. Acquaintances and friends both asked where this change came from. I suppressed the dynamic, extraverted myself.”
And
“I was pushing the boundaries of supervision [over myself], checking how I would behave after drinking a larger amount of vodka. One day I went out with Basia [wife] and friends (...) After a few bottles, at four in the morning, they were amused, cheered up, asking if I was sick because I was behaving like a machine. After three weeks of suffering, I reached ground zero. This happened during the rehearsals. A conversation about Robespierre and Danton. I joined the discussion, exclaiming, 'I disagree!’ - and suddenly I saw that my hand was no longer my hand, that it was not the hand of that Pszoniak that I am, but that it was already a hand—the beginning of someone else.”
3. What of Danton?
Here the problem with the play began. The man cast as Danton, Bronisław Pawlik, was just... terrible.
He was a good actor in general, definitely, but in short (explanation for the anglophones), it was like casting Danny DeVito as Danton.
He was short of stature, weak of voice, much older than Pszoniak, and simply unfit for the role.
He didn't have a stage presence; his voice was silenced by the other people on stage, and Pszoniak kept acting as if there was some great, dangerous opponent when there wasn't—the audience seemed to notice it.
It all added to a kind of feeling of resentment after preparing so long for the role of Robespierre.
Danton (Bronisław Pawlik), Camille (Olgierd Łukaszewicz) and Westermann (Franciszek Pieczka) celebrating
Pawlik was more concerned with the position of the props or the costume instead of conversing and shaping their roles. To Pszoniak it was the role of a lifetime, to Pawlik it wasn't.
“The audience was sitting on the stage because the entire theater had been transformed into the Revolutionary Tribunal. Here, a powerful voice and a [kind of] broad gesture were needed... Pawlik's charm disappeared in the feverish crowd. What consequences did this have for the play? Enormous, Danton was deprived of the strength [for both the audience and actors] to believe that he posed a deadly serious threat to the revolution. And this lack bothered me terribly...”
4. How did it become political then?
As I have previously mentioned, it was a slow, steady process. Even Wajda himself didn't think much of the play; it was the audience that began the change.
As the first example, Pszoniak recalls a scene when Eleonore comes in with tea but not sugar—in the audience at first only a few laughing, but gradually along with the many performances it turned into the whole audience cackling. The play was exhibited just when a time of increasing problems with sugar supplies began in Poland (food stamps for sugar were introduced).
Pszoniak admitted that the cast would often laugh along with the audience. It seemed almost absurd—a tragic play blending with the real world.
When it comes to Pszoniak himself in that time, the more he played the role, the more it felt like “punching the air.” Instead of having a genuine conflict, he had no support, no reference point in Pawlik as Danton or the audience. For the role to have meaning, to be something, it all had to be a matter of life and death. His co-actor was slipping into comedic grotesque while playing the second main role.
"The success of the play was huge, but the audience was eager to read the play [only] in the context of political allusions. (…) The audience felt that something was happening [on and off stage], (…) the tension grew."
The audience's reaction seemed to be a direct answer to the Danton shown on stage. Instead of a political opponent, there stood a sad, tired victim of the committee who seems completely and utterly innocent, all his words said with a kind of saddened charm (doesn't that remind you of a certain film Wajda made later?).
5. What of the other actors?
Here is where I have the least information. If anyone has any more sources of information, actor memoirs, etc., feel free to reblog this post with additional info or simply contact me about it so I could make Part 2. :]
The cast.
I have to tell you something shocking... Wajda is capable of giving actual, normal characterization to secondary characters (gasp, thunderstrike, wolf howling).
Or perhaps that was just the actor/Zygmunt Hübner (I guess we'll never know).
The most information I could gather was about Saint-Just (played by the excellent Władysław Kowalski).
Based off the limited amount of reviews I could gather, he was a positive character in general. Described as “a man gifted with exceptional warmth and [someone] unconditionally devoted to his cause” or “full of raw passion."
AND HE GIVES MAXIME FLOWERS IN THIS VERSION AS WELL, EXCEPT IN THIS ONE ROBESPIERRE (KIND OF) SMILES!
I couldn't find much on Eleonore, Louise, or Lucille, though I've searched and searched for a few days. All I could find is that the actresses were excellent—that is, unfortunately, no source of any relevant information. Frankly speaking, since Wajda, in kind words, doesn't excel at writing women, I don't have much faith in their characterization on the director's part.
Camille played Łukaszewicz is usually called a “complicated youth"—that is, of course, an opinion—or “spontaneous in reflexes"—that's a bit better of a description. As you can see, I am limited by the fact the play isn't available, and I must depend on biased or subjective sources.
Worried Camille Desmoulins (Olgierd Łukaszewicz) - I do think this Camille looks quite nice.
6. And did the critics like it? Was it well directed?
In short, it was a very, very liked play by both the critics and the audience. It ran for 5 years; it ended around 1980, when many of the actors simply left Poland.
About critics and reviews written by them: What surprised me immensely is the fact that most available reviews (written before the release of the film ‘Danton’) of the play weren't anti-Robespierre. The play is often described as something of a moral discussion, something for the viewer to assess, a work that doesn't suggest one solution to understand the conflict, or revolution (in other words, a great play).
A thing I've noticed is that along with time, the descriptions of the main characters seem to change. Danton—in earliest reviews described as “absolutely repulsive," then later as a tragic man, someone who adores life. Robespierre—in earliest reviews described as an absolute “marble statue," an idealist, someone pure, then in later reviews as just a fanatic.
7. What about Wajda? Did he change the text much? What about the scenography?
I was surprised to learn that Wajda absolutely could make a good, Przybyszewska-accurate play.
From all I could find, there is not much I can accuse Wajda of when it comes to ‘The Danton Case’ stage adaptations. It was made very well. What most likely contributed to the later change in people's mentality when met with the play is the fact that the audience was sort of a part of the performance. How? Like this:
“It [the play] takes place on a stage placed in front of the audience; on the actual stage and in the rest of the audience sit in rows of chairs rising upwards. Everything encompassed by the scenography is one theater. This played out brilliantly in the second parts, in the beautifully composed group scenes, where the audience not only looks at the stage but is drawn into it as an extra audience at the hearings of the revolutionary tribunal.”
And
“Wajda made "The Danton Case" as if against himself—against his previous self: he gave up on visual effects, music, and symbolism. He built a spectacle—a spectacle indeed!—raw and beautiful. (…) During the (…) presentation of "The Danton Case," seats for viewers were also installed on the stage, which was fortunately spacious, the audience surrounds the actors, the actors are among the audience, on the balcony, in the passages.”
If Danton or Robespierre were so close to the audience, I think it really did influence the people's opinion of it later on. Pawlik was terrified, jumping like a fish out of water from one audience member to the other, and there was Pszoniak, white and still under his shroud just a few meters away. That did certainly change the performance's reception.
8. Where can I watch this?!
As I have mentioned here: the play isn't available online, but most certainly is somewhere in the archives (confirmed by Pszoniak), when it was supposed to have a TV debut the martial law was introduced, and a few years later everyone seemed to have forgotten about it.
So, erm… Who's raiding the archives with me? (By the way, fragments of the play exist online, but only 10-20 minute excerpts, so if I find the time, I'll try to track them down.).
Sources:
Books:
Aktor. Wojciech Pszoniak w rozmowie z Michałem Komarem, Wydawnictwo Literackie 2009;
Maciej Karpiński, Pszoniak, Wydawnictwa Artystyczne i Filmowe Warszawa 1976;
Małgorzata Terlecka-Reksnis, Pszoniak. Fragmenty, Wydawnictwo Poznańskie 2024
Photos used and play reviews (pardon the rhyme):
http://encyklopediateatru.pl
#wojciech pszoniak#frev#pszoniacology#wojtekspierre#sprawa dantona#the danton case#stanislawa przybyszewska#stanisława przybyszewska#the french revolution
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Re-skimmed through a bunch of Dune Messiah last night because why not and now I am having thoughts:
The thing that sticks with me most is the tone. It's melancholy, it's eerie, it's unsettled and weird. Cannot think of a more pitch-perfect director for it than Denis Villeneuve. He's gonna nail it.
There is...not that much...actual story? Denis has referred to it in interviews as "a small book" and I'm like my guy it is 350 pages. But there are actually not that many plot beats. It's just that every. single. scene. is WILDLY overwritten. The real challenge of adapting Dune is not the giant worms or the dense complicated worldbuilding or the fact that actors have to say the name "Duncan Idaho" repeatedly with a straight face. It's that there are pages and pages and PAGES of internal monologue that have to be externalized somehow for film.
After a re-skim my gut instinct for "how much story goes in a feature film" is that if you just wrote out the dialogue and action that happens in every scene in the book in screenplay format you'd end up with...maybe about an hour of material? Which is great, actually, because it means there is room to add stuff. Like a whole new independent plotline for Chani if they decide to do that.
It may seem insane to add things to an adaptation of what's notoriously one of the wordiest series in classic sci-fi but it's worth remembering that they added quite a bit to Dune Part Two. Most of the first hour of the movie--almost everything before the worm ride except for Jessica drinking the Water of Life--is stuff that isn't in the book. And it's the best part of the movie essential to making the movie work as well as it does. Yes, they also cut elements from both parts (the dinner scene, the whole plotline where Gurney thinks Jessica is a Harkonnen spy, Thufir Hawat's fate, Leto II the Elder, murder toddler Alia) but I understand why each of those elements was cut or changed in the service of cinematic storytelling.
There's an interview (can't remember which one) with Jon Spaihts, the other co-writer of the scripts along with Denis, where he talks about how Dune is like a stage play, with so many of what would be the big action set pieces happening off-page. I kept thinking about that comparison while reviewing Dune Messiah because in addition to the scenes that do exist being wordy and internal as fuck, an absolutely insane list of major events/reveals/emotionally significant moments happen off-page. The list of things that we don't actually see in the main action of the story, that we're only told about after they happen, includes:
Chani finding out Irulan has been secretly dosing her with birth control for YEARS
People trying to capture a sandworm and take it off planet
Chani and Paul finding out Chani is pregnant after 12 years of trying to conceive
Paul flying an ornithopter carrying his extremely-about-to-go-into-labor partner while blind
CHANI DYING (first time reading I did NOT know this was coming and damn near threw my Kindle across the room at the way the information was delivered)
Alia executing a bunch of people including a Bene Gesserit Reverend Mother
Paul walking into the desert at the end
You could add all these moments into a scene-for-scene film adaptation of the book and probably still have room to add more material.
The other thing that jumps out is that Paul doesn't really...govern...much. Like there's this whole subgenre of post-Dune/Dune Messiah-era fic that's just some combination of Paul, Chani, Irulan and sometimes Feyd traipsing around the palace having feelings while vague politics happens in the background, but I forgot that Dune Messiah is actually kinda like that??
There is a whole thread of Paul feeling kind of abstractly bad about being Space Hitler but he does not, in fact, actually do anything about it. And like yes both bureaucracies and religious movements can grow to have a life of their own that seems beyond the control of any one person. But also my dude you are the Emperor of the Known Universe. Someone is signing those space checks for the Endless War budget. You are not powerless here.
The one thing that really, clearly drives Paul to actively do things in the plot is not feeling guilty about having unleashed catastrophic religious war on the universe. It is protecting his family. Chani, Alia, his unborn children, and you could probably throw in Duncan by the end. That is what motivates him to act at key moments, and to want to hold on to power. And hey, y'know, if I'd experienced almost everyone I'd ever known getting murdered in a single night, I would probably get a bit intense about that too! It makes sense from a character point of view!
I'm very curious to see how these threads interweave with each other in the film, because the Villeneuve films put a lot of emphasis on Paul's agency and the fact that he may be constrained by shitty circumstances thousands of years in the making, but he still makes choices within that context. I can't see the narrative allowing film!Paul to get away with the same Poor Little Dictator routine as in the book. There are a few ways they could play this but I think the most interesting one is kinda the way they started going at the end of Part Two. Which is that as soon as you start reaching for that kind of power, then power becomes its own end and you will end up doing increasingly horrific things to maintain it. I think it would be quite interesting if the film shows us Paul not just being like "woe is me" but actively choosing to make the world worse because his trauma-driven fear of losing the people he loves makes him cling ever more desperately to power for its own sake.
If they went this route I think it would make Paul's decision at the end hit even harder. FWIW I actually really like Paul walking off into the desert at the end of the book. I think it brings things full circle with his relationship to the Fremen and creates this beautiful arc going back to the duel with Jamis. He first won a place among the Fremen through respecting their customs even though he really did not want to fight and kill someone he had no beef with. And by respecting the Fremen custom of the blind walking off into the desert, he proves himself to be fully Fremen and protects his children not by making them heirs to the throne but by making them Fremen.
And yeah, to a modern audience here on Earth it can look like "Paul conveniently fucks off and doesn't have to raise his newly-motherless children." And we can have a whole discussion about the unexamined ableism of the idea of someone who's gone blind voluntarily choosing death so as to "not be a burden" on their community. But neither of those readings is really the point here. Within the logic of Fremen cultural values, where the survival of the group as a whole is more important than the life of any one individual ("your water belongs to the tribe" etc.) Paul's choice is a willing and intentional self-sacrifice (see also: fedaykin) that wins him huge respect. There's a line in the book about Paul that's like "He would be one of them forever now" and damn if that didn't give me shivers. Like!! The political-symbolic implications!!! Which maybe I'm particularly attuned to because I just wrote a whole fic about what does it mean for an outsider to become Fremen but hmm something something Paul's final* act not being an exercise of Imperial power but an expression of kinship with an oppressed group and that being the thing that's needed to keep his family safe even if he is not physically present with them...IT IS RICH SYMBOLIC TERRITORY.
(*Yes yes I know about events in the next book. Shush.)
This kind of stuff is why I tend to think Chani may start out in a very different place in the story but the end will still be pretty close to what's in the book. It's too thematically powerful and tragic to go any other way.
But also...if they change things around enough that she is still alive at the end of the movie...I won't be sad about it.
#dune#dune messiah#story structure#adaptation#paul atreides#chani kynes#umm#dune messiah spoilers#i guess??#is this really necessarily for a 55 year old book idk
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I think we should start a positive trend in the fandom
SPRED THE HASTAGE I LOVE TSBS WRITING
because (I’m guilty of this two) the positive side is quite compared to the bad side. I know moving forward I’m going to put disclaimers on all character rants or theory’s or ep reviews talking about how I love the writing I’m just taking about the characters and my opinions. I noticed that in my posts unless give consistently read my previous posts I come off a dick and I sound like I’m insulting the writing even if I’m not meaning two and that’s on me.
Let’s take my opinion on Earth’s character
I think Earth used to put her own need to feel like she’s helpful so she can be a good person onto other to the point where it was manipulative. I don’t know she did it on purpose but I do think she didn’t do enough to change.
But this is where I’m in the wrong. Because Earth changed and I saw and appreciated that but in my posts there are FAR more that express my negative views on Earth compared to the positive ones.
And that’s because I didn’t think I had much to say about it when I know I could have. It’s because wording positive things is harder then negative for me so when I would try I would get bored and give up mid way never posting my thoughts on them.
(For the people who will take this out of context:
No I’m not judging Earth because she’s a woman I’m critiquing my old opinion of Earth that was made based on her actions towards others.)
I’m aware that the main problem that is effecting the shows is not people like me however we don’t do enough to help.
So why am I making this post? Well self-reflection mainly but also-
Kat and Davis I know you leark (idk if that’s how u spell it) on tumbler so if any of my posts made you feel like this I’m so sorry I contributed to this negativity. I should have tagged and disclaimed my posts and made it clear to an unfamiliar person that I’m not just shitting on a character but I failed to do so. I love you and your writing I’ve been learking and watching you both since FTO S4 and TFF Security breach and your SCP series. I really love your stuff and I’ve always love your writing. I don’t think I’ve expressed that enough.
@queenkatluv
@theinvisibledavis
#I LOVE TSBS WRITING#tsams#sun and moon show#eaps#eclipse and puppet show#earth and lunar show#eals#tsbs#the security breach show#let’s be posting for once shall we#I’m guilty of this two
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People think i'm joking about me wanting you to print out the zine and sell it to your local shop for cost and some money in ur pocket.
i'm not joking
Seriously. I hate money. I have enough of it. I'd like more of it to be comfortable, but i'm doing fine. the real thing is I don't want to think about compensation for my art and writing. It makes me feel weird! Print it out and sell it! ONLY THING I ASK: don't let them sell it for more than 5 dollars. It feels weird to me to sell a review of an indie game for more than the cost of the indie game itself! But that's just me.
Isn't it kinda weird to make money on a stone if I didn't make it?
It's a football! You chiseled it! No seriously. You printed it. You cut it and stapled it so it looks nice! Congrats, you've done the magic labor dance that hopefully makes you feel less gross about making money on it. You shouldn't feel gross though! Im telling you to do this? It's more than okay!
Is it hard to get it printed and sold for cheap?
If you do the B&W version you could get it printed for less than a dollar from a shop, which honestly: you might as well do it yourself at the library for cheaper since I imagine you don't want bulk! I would love nothing more than for you to sell this zine for a dollar. More zines should be a dollar?
What are you getting out of this? Why do this?
Money doesn't make me happy (although it does help prevent calamity from things that *can* make me unhappy), its people reading and seeing my work that makes me happy. About 500 people have read this zine! Thats already so crazy to me! I would love nothing more if people picked this up and got hungry for more games discussion in the zine world. It's shockingly not as full of a niche as i thought it would be! Also. My stuff in stores just like. straight up benefits me! My name is prominently on the front and back of it! The download page for it has a donation option! I'm not starving here. Print that shit out, make yourself some money, and buy a coffee on me. You're not going to become a gazillionaire selling zines. I think. Would be funny if you did tho! What about tabling with this zine?
YES! Nervous about tabling because you don't feel like you have enough? Well print my zine out and now you have stuff that costs u pennies to make your table look fuller! Just lie and say I'm your friend or something! In a way, i suppose i am in ghostly meaning of the word. Only thing i ask is don't try to aggressively trade using my zine because like. Idk! It feels weird. That's just me though. I'm not your dad, a cop, or both.
ANYWAYS. I write this out because i think zine distribution should be that: distribution. Get that shit out and get it cheap! Words for the people! This is my long way of saying get out of your head and have some fun printing and cutting and learning how to do that. I will be making more stuff free to distribute, and and i would love to see other people do that if able!
Alright. It's here.
REVIEW OF THE KILLER is a (mainly spoiler free) zine review featuring commentary, analysis, comics, and various evil activities. It released on my itch.io page and will be free for anyone to download, as well as a convenient reader embedded in the page itself. It is releasing alongside the steam version of Anthology Of The Killer by @myfriendpokey.
It is available to print in both a4 and letterhead format, in color and B&W. All of these will be available in 600 or 300 PPI (as disgustingly high as Itch will allow) as well as regular old, web and storage friendly formats. I recommend vibrant pink and canary paper for greyscale copies. It is free to distribute as you please.
If you have liked any of the art I've done so far, please share this anywhere and everywhere you feel charitable to do so.
I hope you enjoy. I am always hoping you enjoy.
#of the killer#anthology of the killer#altgames#review#zine promo#art zine#zine#free zine#fanzine#bb#distribution#printing#zine update#game review#game criticism#games as art
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i dont think im capable of giving a completely unbiased opinion on the SU movie anymore. That movie gives me levels of brainrot that nothing else can. Ask me to talk about it and for the first few minutes i will inevitably turn into a blabbering incoherent mess talking about my babygirl
#i mean as in saying my thoughts on it like a review#i caaanttt it makes me insaaaneeee#my general opinion of the movie is that i think its messy but tHATS NOT WHAT MATTERS TO ME#(ok it definetely does)#aauurgghhh#su posting
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HEY. POINTS FINGER… any thoughts on how everyone reacted when the other joined the team? as in how did killer react when dust came, how did he and dust react when horror came, how did they all react when cross came, etc. i love love LOVE your bad sanses thoughts way too much they make me so happy. if i write hurt you write comfort and it’s awesome. also how do you think they slowly started to get closer? just.. bah give me your thoughts on them!!!! any thoughts!!!!!!!!!
You fool!! You’ve given me a chance to ramble about my special little guys and now this post will stretch on forever!! Mwahahahahah >:3c
No but seriously this is probably gonna be wicked long cause I have 1 million thoughts about these guys joining and meeting each other so uh, readmore for everybody’s safety and sanity
(^ I wrote that in the document before I started typing out my actual thoughts and uh
yeah no kidding, this is like a fucking essay so proceed with caution)
OKAY SO
I’ve said before that Nightmare got Dust for two reasons; one being that Dream had just recently started working with Ink (and soon Blue) so he and Killer were no longer able to gang up on Dream. He wanted somebody else to bulk up their numbers and give Killer a little back up. He also was starting to realise that Killer didn’t handle being alone very well, since this was when he most often got worked up and broke things around the castle (and sometimes tipped over into stage 3). Dust would be a perfect fit since he had the same amount of lvl and fighting experience as Killer, and since they were so close in circumstance they would be practically like brothers right?
The irony that he thought this about a guy he was recruiting to help kill his brother was apparently lost on him.
They absolutely hated each other. Like, it was instant. Killer saw him as a replacement, why would boss go out and get another sans - one with almost the same backstory as me - when I’m right here? Does he think I’m not good enough? Am I disposable and this is the backup for when I die in combat? He didn’t take it well. He took it all out on Dust too, not cooperating in battle, trying to start fights in the castle, etc. He couldn’t outright kill him because Nightmare had given him strict orders not to, but Killer loves a loophole. If he roughed Dust up down to 1hp and something else happened to finish him off, technically he’d followed orders.
Dust just straight up didn’t want to be there. Nightmare just showing up and yoinking him had worked fine with Killer, but Dust had wanted to sit in his empty au and die, he had no intention of joining a team or doing work of any kind - good or bad. The only reason he didn’t just lie down and refuse the entire time was that he had to fight back against Killer, as much as he wanted to die he refused to give this ass the satisfaction or lvl. He didn’t intend to be any help out in the field either, but again, Killer was making sure he got fired at so he had to retaliate to stay alive.
Eventually it got bad enough that Nightmare had to pull Killer aside and demand answers. In the year or so of knowing him Killer had never willfully disobeyed orders before, so Nightmare needed to know what had gotten into him. He dispelled the replacement rumour right away, he still wasn’t quite softened up enough to be sappy about it but he made sure Killer understood what a good worker he was and that Nightmare had no intention of losing him. It didn’t help a lot, they still hated each other for other reasons, but it eased a little.
Killer still had pretty frequent dips into stage 3, except now he would go straight for Dust usually. Nightmare had tried to explain what he’d learned about it to Dust, but he didn’t really believe that it wasn’t just Killer deciding to try and kill him for funsies. He only accepted it after a particular episode where he attacked Nightmare instead, which Dust knew Killer wouldn’t try in his right mind.
After he came back to his senses he sought Dust out. The air around Killer was very different after a stage 3, sort of sombre and almost calm, so Dust let them sit together and Killer apologised for giving him such a hard time. They actually talked for the first time in months while Killer was still calm (or tolerable, as Dust describes it), and it didn’t magically fix everything but, things were a little better. They still fought and argued and bothered each other but it wasn’t as sharp, there was a lack of real murderous intent in it all, and sometimes after an episode they would talk a little bit. It was the best Nightmare was going to get for now, so he took it.
They were still completely incompetent about taking care of themselves though. Neither of them would eat unless prompted and Nightmare didn’t have good enough knowledge of mortals to know when that should be to stop them passing out from hunger on the job. Not to mention the stars were now a full team, and with the way Killer and Dust would sometimes rather target each other on the field he could do with more backup.
Horror was the first of the group to get a choice in joining. Nightmare had taken note of how much Dust didn’t want to be part of things, and while it was in his best interests in the long run given his situation, Horror’s au was still mostly intact - though a little in disrepair. Horror was also the first in the group to have a good (and ongoing) relationship with his brother, so Nightmare knew he couldn’t just pop in and steal him, he had to be a bit more diplomatic with this one and offer a deal.
He gave Horror some time to think on his proposal - he would set up regular deliveries of food to Horror’s au in exchange for him joining their team - and was quite surprised when Horror agreed, with some stipulations. Horror was equally surprised when Nightmare agreed so easily to his terms (that he didn’t want his brother to know what he’d be doing, and that he wouldn’t kill). A little down the line the terms were altered to add that he would also be left to visit his au every week or so.
Horror was not impressed meeting the other two. He didn’t need his power as judge anymore to sense the lvl coming off them both, and given who they were working for he was instantly distrustful of them both (the uh, brother situation did not help). He was also in a place that had an abundance of food for the first time in probably years, so he was doing a lot of going hog wild in the kitchen and then getting very sick as a result.
Dust didn’t particularly feel anything for him. This guy hated him, sure, but it wasn’t forward and slashy like with Killer, it was just quiet loathing which was fine. That’s how Dust felt about himself so, y’know, mood. He did kind of feel sorry for him though, not just because of the whole famine and everything, but also because he was watching this guy eat like his life depended on it and then get sick and undo it day after day. He was the one who suggested Horror getting his food in moderation to Nightmare, which did help but was an absolute ordeal to enforce. Y’know how some people get hangry? Imagine that but you haven’t had a proper meal in years and now these people give you tiny amounts of food and don’t let you eat more for hours. The hunger mood swings were a sight to behold, you would never have guessed in those days that Horror specified not wanting to kill.
When his ability to eat had evened out and he was in better shape, Horror made a point of apologising to Dust for being aggressive with him. Over time he’d kind of softened up on him from his initial impression, since he could see plainly how wracked with guilt Dust was over his situation. It was a little easier to imagine that whatever he’d done was truly out of desperation and not just for fun, as Horror had assumed at first sight.
They also both retained that classic sans laziness, so it was easy for them to share a space while saying and doing nothing. It made Horror the first person that Dust willingly spent time around in the castle (and vice versa since Horror was still largely suspicious of Nightmare and Killer - the deal seemed too good to be true and the stage 3 episodes didn’t help). As time went on, Horror kind of became Dust’s emotional support skeleton in a way. Dust had become quite averse to touch in his solitude and Horror very slowly brought him back out with casual gentle touches, until not only did he no longer freeze or stiffen at being grabbed but Dust would seek him out to flop next to on the couch. Horror claimed it was just returning the favour for helping with his eating situation, but really it was nice to have something resembling a friend here.
Killer, for his part, was going through This is My Replacement 2: Electric Boogaloo. Not to the same degree as with Dust, since Horror was quite a bit different, but Killer was still wary of this new addition. He didn’t really instigate anything though since, to be honest, Horror had the intimidation factor. He was like a foot taller than both of them, he had a cracked skull and completely different magic and it seemed like every time Killer saw him he was eating bread like a wolf eats a deer. So while he was going through his food moderating, Killer mostly just stayed quiet and kept his distance.
Horror had not softened on him like he had with Dust, since Killer didn’t openly show remorse. He still watched him with distrust, especially after seeing the way he scrapped with Dust for seemingly no reason other than for violence’s sake. Killer was still mostly targeting Dust in his stage 3s, but Horror had to be careful to stay out of his way since he was still working with much lower hp than the other two. What did start to convince him was seeing how similar Killer and Dust were after a stage 3 episode. Once Killer was slightly more composed (ie stopped crying), he became so tired and quiet and blunt about things he normally joked his way around. It was a little startling, but also started to bring Horror around to the idea that Killer might regret his actions too, just buried under several layers of whatever the hell is also wrong with him at any given time.
Killer and Horror only really started interacting after talking about Dust. Killer was asking how he got Dust to like him since he seems to hate everyone and everything else, Horror told him very pointedly it was because he wasn’t trying to kill Dust. Killer admitted he wasn’t trying to kill Dust, at least not anymore, he just wanted to fight for fun. It opened up a better channel of understanding, knowing that Killer did not actually have murderous intent behind his swings (stage 3 notwithstanding). It made it easier for Horror to occasionally get involved in the roughhousing which Killer delighted in, knowing that the other two knew how to hold back enough to keep him from dusting.
Speaking of stage 3, it was around this time that Killer and Dust made a very important deal. After a particularly rough episode with a little too close of a call, Killer showed up in Dust’s room and begged him shakily to make a promise - that if he ever got too out of control during one of his stages, Dust would kill him. He’d been told over and over by Nightmare that it was impossible for Killer to hurt him since he was immortal, but now there were more people around him where that wasn’t the case, and he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he came out of a stage and found himself alone. Dust promised.
It’s also worth mentioning that, once they were all close enough to be on speaking terms, Horror started bullying the shit out of these two about eating. Now that Horror knew neither of them were going to kill him, he felt safe enough to pick them up by the scruff and set them at the table to say they weren’t leaving until they had at least a snack. He let them pick what they would eat - he wasn’t that cruel about it - but he had to see them eat at least 3 times a day or they would hear about it.
It was by no means perfect or regular, but after about half a year Nightmare finally had henchmen who ate food and worked together (mostly).
Now here’s the problem… I still haven’t really figured out how or why Cross joined the team. Like, obviously there’s some kind of point in the events of underverse where it splits off into an alternate timeline, but I haven’t really figured out where yet so. Leave that one with me just a little longer. Cross joins.
Nightmare really truly didn’t intend to take anyone else in. They were (mostly) getting along, they were pretty well matched to fight the stars, he had no need of more mortals.
…but he was also pretty soft at this point. Every one of them had taken a blow to his I’m immortal I’m an island I don’t get attached to others persona and he’d gotten pretty damn fond of them all. This was why when he felt the sheer weight of loneliness radiating off of Cross, he just couldn’t bring himself to leave him.
So Cross entered the castle.
He did not particularly intend to stay or make friends, he was trying to get his world back and nothing more. He even revealed a little down the line that he outright refused to kill, and was quite surprised to find that Nightmare was fine with that. At the start he was polite but not friendly with the others and mostly kept to himself.
Dust, as is often the case, did not really have an opinion. Another new guy, this one was self sufficient and didn’t bother him so he had no reason to get involved. He was content to be in the same room as Cross but didn’t start up any conversations.
Horror felt the need to speak to Cross, since Dust would happily stay silent for years and Killer was, well, Killer. Horror was somehow the closest thing to normal they had, so he was the one that made small talk. Mostly asking what Cross would like for meals and encouraging him to pick something he liked when he got the answer of “anything is fine”. As Cross settled in a bit more and actually opened up, they bonded over being the only two to enjoy food. Horror made a point of adding chocolate to the stock they kept in the kitchen and making tacos here and there for Cross.
Horror was also the first Cross kind of warmed to, mostly because he was the one devoid of lvl and Nightmare had mentioned he’d also said he wouldn’t kill. Learning a little about his au’s situation only softened Cross to him more, especially seeing that he still cared a lot for his brother and was trying to protect his home (even if Cross found it unthinkable that he lived away from it). It was through Horror that he also got accustomed to Dust, how being quiet and distant was kind of his default and that he also felt deeply haunted by the loss of his world. They weren’t exactly friends, but it was comfortable enough.
So now boss had taken in another new person, someone who takes orders like a soldier and fights with knives and ruthless precision and aims to be his righthand man, and Killer was ecstatic. By now he’d mostly put his fears of being disposable behind him, Nightmare had gotten a bit less subtle in showing how important they all were to him and Killer felt confident he wouldn’t be replaced. Which was a little bit funny, because the only guy he didn’t feel threatened by was the one who absolutely competed for his spot.
Cross needed to prove he was useful, he had to feel like he earned his keep and that all the training and suffering he’d done was for a reason. When Nightmare sent them on missions, Cross aimed to be the fastest and the most efficient and to report to Nightmare without question. Horror and Dust looking on would have expected Killer to see this 100% as a threat to his position as (self proclaimed) Nightmare’s second in command, and to go for this guy’s throat when nobody else was around.
But Killer was fascinated. Cross was completely different from any of them, bar Nightmare whose au is a whole different kettle of fish, so he had a certain element of unpredictability to him. Horror and Dust were both based on classic sans just like him, so to a certain degree he knew how they would feel about most things and what they might say, the only differences being in what they had experienced through their own timelines. Cross was based on a swap sans and his au had taken wild twists and turns away from usual events, so Killer had to learn everything about him by poking and prodding for answers or observing from a distance, much like back when it was just him and Nightmare. Cross was something new to be studied and Killer loved taking notes.
Cross did not see this as friendly. He was competing with Killer for approval, not realising Killer was playing their contest like a game. When he saw Cross training he would jump in to spar for fun, but Cross saw his rival trying to get a jump on him and take him out of the running. When Killer would hang around and pester Cross in their off time with questions, it didn’t seem like someone taking interest, it seemed like someone being nosy and looking for weaknesses to exploit. When Horror mentioned that Killer was being surprisingly contained and friendly, Cross really thought he was fucking with him.
The first time Cross was willing to even consider this was the case was when his locket came loose on the field and Killer ran back to find it, since one of the notes he’d taken was how the locket wasn’t something Cross would play about (the same as Horror with food). It didn’t make sense for someone who was seriously competing to have him kicked out to just hand his necklace back, no ransoms or attempts to crush it to upset him, just some vague remark about “owing him one” and then right back to Nightmare for orders.
Cross had to give him something of a chance after that, Horror helped a lot by telling him “he doesn’t want to hurt you, he just doesn’t know how to be normal”. It was mostly a playful jab at Killer, but reframing their interactions changed it significantly for Cross. Now they were sparring playfully and having friendly competition on jobs. He wasn’t as put off when Killer went into stage 3 because he knew he could match him in combat and the others were always on hand to help restrain or distract him. Cross also took note of how Killer calmed down a lot for physical touch, not unlike how Dust had warmed up to Horror. It went a long way into not only making him a little less combative for attention every day, but it seemed to put longer stretches between his episodes (which Cross had also started tracking so they wouldn’t be caught out by them as much).
For his part, Killer has disobeyed instructions in the past to benefit Cross, usually ignoring the task to help him if he’s hurt. He’s also given Nightmare nudges towards praising him because he’s noted that that’s what Cross needs in the same way he needs touch (not that Nightmare doesn’t praise them normally, but when Cross is going through it and needs something). He also doesn’t particularly like chocolate but has made a point of not admitting this to Horror so he can give his chocolate to Cross.
(It’s also worth noting that Cross is the only one, besides Nightmare, that has been to Horror’s au. He offered to help out during the food delivery and got to meet Horror’s Papyrus (who he is a little intimidated by but ultimately friendly with, even though it’s a little weird since he’s a good bit different from his own Papyrus). Dust and Killer can’t really visit for a few reasons, mostly because everyone will notice their lvl immediately and know what they’ve done. Dust especially doesn’t know how he would react to having a Papyrus in front of him again and doesn’t want to put Horror's family at risk to find out. Whenever he visits, his Papyrus asks about Cross now and sometimes tries to make tacos for him (key word tries, he’s still a Papyrus after all). He may have joked that seeing Cross sometimes is “like having another brother but younger and less lazy” and when Horror told him this Cross may or may not have cried.)
And that’s where we are now!
They’re a very strange group who’ve been through some inexplicable events and have all changed each other in one way or another. And whether or not it can be admitted, they are a family c:
Now onto how Nightmare was made emotionally open by each of them!! In this essay I will no just kidding could you imagine this is already like 7 pages long
If you got to the end of this post please drink some water and get yourself a snack
#Ask#Wickjump#UTDR#UTMV#Truce au#Tagging that since this is the events I'm working off for these guys#My fanon canon if you will#Also I am SO sorry oh my god#This is like an essay for a degree I could submit this for peer review akdghjdjfsjl#I didn't mean to say so much I swear this was me trying to keep it concise!!#I think I've genuinely spent like 6 hours writing this between last night and this morning#Which is wild because like whose attention span is this??#Anyway I have a lot of thoughts about these guys (clearly)#I have given them a lot of events that I haven't really drawn or written about yet#There's a couple of things in here that I've referenced before here and there#But I guess this is kind of a masterpost for it all#Man I have to go to work in like an hour this was wild akdguigfgy#WICK THANK YOU!!!! This was really fun to do and it's got me excited to work on my other stuff in the background :D#And when I get back from work I'm gonna think of an ask to get you rambling next >:3c#But for realsies thank you so much this was super sweet and really fun <3
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every time i see someone call tron 'cyberpunk', i lose ten years off my lifespan
#note to self literally never read letterboxd reviews of movies i like i cant do it anymore kdjfgkdssd#say you saw the movie and the plot and visuals went right over your head without saying it#like. in what world is tron dystopic?? cyberpunk in itself is an offshoot of dystopian fiction. tron is not about an imagined future#tron is about an imagined PRESENT. thinking about our PRESENT relationship with technology in relation to the times each film was released#tron is in equal measures hopeful and critical about technology. that is NOT cyberpunk#the only CyberPunk that matters in tron is the Tron2.0 character of the same name#i will admit that tron's plot is cyberpunk derived but its. idk man its not the same thing#thematically its different. visually i think tron shares developmental artists with blade runner where the cyberpunk visual stereotype was#- established#but blade runner is more pure cyberpunk thematically than tron is. does that make any sense#and. and. listen to me. i am number one retrofuture fan. i love syd mead. i love moebius. but listen. just because they worked on tron -#- does NOT mean tron is thematically OR visually retrofuturistic either!! the visuals match the time it was made!! thats not retrofuturism!#thats normal scifi based on the every day!!!#tron is a sandbox and at the end of the day anyone can do whatever they want its all just for fun#at the same time. the entire story of tron is being severely misrepresented when labelled as cyberpunk. and it makes me sad#these are very shallow thoughts i just miss literary thematic analysis sometimes. my film studies classes cannot come soon enough#rex speaks
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your boy just got the official autism diagnosis (his girlfriend said she agrees he does have autism) so you best believe I'll be making so many autism jokes about myself.
#I've been self diagnosed for like two years#I've gotten peer reviewed by like four autistic people#and now my gf says i have it#so that means i actually have it boys#let's fucking go#ash rambles#when i say that means i actually have it that means i finally can explain what I've thought since forever#anyway#i have a collection of neurodivergencies like Pokémon cards#adhd ocd autism depression/bipolar anxiety SAD (seasonal affective disorder) and Fuckin Weird#oh and both ptsd and cptsd
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Books of 2023. BABEL, OR THE NECESSITY OF VIOLENCE: AN ARCANE HISTORY OF THE OXFORD TRANSLATORS' REVOLUTION by R. F. Kuang.
First off, what a title! Included here in its full glory because I didn't realize it was that long, but I delight in academic titles when played for poking fun especially.
I've been reading about a chapter of this a night, so far, and I'm enjoying it! It's much more approachable than I was afraid it would be, given the comp to Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell--this one is a doorstop, but it's a very readable doorstop! I'm excited to see where it goes.
#books of 2023#books#book photography#babel#r. f. kuang#r f kuang#babel: an arcane history#forreal though it's. much less intimidating than i thought it would be lol#like yes difficult to physically hold in bed (i have hardback) but. so far not a challenging read?#i was expecting it to be more challenging#also i perused reviews and a lot of people say 'heavy-handed' but i think actually it's more. just. blunt?#like 'not subtle' is my initial reaction#revised to 'blunt'#i mean even on the level of 'oh yeah i saw that coming' not subtle/blunt#so far it's not. tricky.#i am enjoying it!!#i'm excited to see about the magic!!#and the social commentary is interesting and necessary.#but if you've been avoiding it because you're intimidated by it. maybe don't be lol
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the thing about lucas' departure from wayv-nct is that... unlike woojin or b.i, SM still manage him, he didn't move into another company or anything.
the separation is awkward rn but i'm just saying, if he appears on the next smtown, you know taeyong or kun will just pull him into the row of boys that is comprised of neocity-riize members without blinking.
#unless sm is being careful and petty and cowardice#so they will just exclude him#while other sm artists performs#cowards i tell you#COWARDS TO MAKE THE TRUTH CLEAR BUT NOT ON PUTTING THE BOY OUT FOR MONEY#i will say that until they proove me otherwise#were they this clear-foggy about taeyong as well??#i need to review things again gosh#concerning the text statement: the possibility of taeyong not giving a fuck and doing just that is very high#like even raiden came to smtown#and he's not that much on the hot kpop sphere#if any of raidens fans reads this#please be understanding i did not mean to undermean him in anyway#lucas wong#nct lucas#wayv lucas#...i don't even know if i can use those tags but how else do i say its that lucas#lucas renegade#i feel like this is thought material for twitter instead of tumblr but i deleted my twitty so anyhoo#i am asking for chaos by asking this#go on give me that slap#lucas' eyes are just so somber nowadays dude#i just...let him go to the weishenies please
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OH MY GOD A YEAR AGO TODAY .
#thats literally insane what do you mean that crazy day was last year. oh boy ok hastily thought up recap thought time#what that day included:#stupidly going out into july in los angeles heat that morning in jeans and a long sleeve black shirt#in that state of extreme sweatiness: meeting john l of tmbg fame. who id be seeing in concert that exact night#an insane story i have told before but nonetheless incredibly bonkers#later that day when i went out again i (also stupidly) wore sandals that cut up the back of my heels#i toughed it out later and put socks on and the russell brand of cdg high tops on and danced at the concert anyway#wore a full gold glitter suit. was still worried about being unnoticeable#i was too scareddddddd to talk to christi who i saw hanging around before the show which i regret#the best part of the concert and that trip to california was seeing it with my best friend who i finally met in person for that trip#he was dressed as ron and i of course was russ in the glitter suit. my hair did not turn out as magically russ as desired#what else. i was too ough before the concert to eat my combination lunch dinner of panda express something#but i did get overpriced fancy crackers and rosé at the hbowl which was my sparks dinner#ok now let me get to the show itself. i did a review the night of but lets see if there are any details i forgot that i can remember now#like right at the beginning of so may we start there was the audible sound of a glass breaking so awesome. someone was ready to get down#russell getting choked up talking abt their mom taking them to the hollywood bowl as kids i haven't stopped crying#oh yeah all the stupid people in the pool circle (front seats) who didn't care about seeing sparks. youre all going to hell#especially the people that left before the show ended#russell achieved some maximum awooga levels but i may have been picking up on those especially because of the rosé#russell saying to the audience in between singing all that how beautiful it looked with everyone turning the light on their phones#another thing i havent stopped crying over#also got a fun bootleg shirt specific to that show when walking back to the hotel. thank you slightly sketchy guy#that whole night and everything was bonkers insane and wonderful can i Please relive it now. please#like literally this time last year adjusting for time zone i was uhhhhh. probably injuring myself in those stupid sandals#and id do it again! well maybe not but id relive that day again#ok anyway. one year huh
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dude I just gotta say thank u for all ur amazing art bc I JUST finished y7 last night and I'm missing my emo losers (daigo and masato) ONLY TO FIND THEM EVERYWHERE HERE plus mine!!! ur fics are also on point as well I think I commented on the "quiet" one but everything aside ur style is just so nice on the eyes and very fun! bonus ur nanba is very cute he's so silly to me fr :3
HIIIIIIII ive been watchin you go through all my art in real time ngl LAKRJLRKJ SO THANK YOU SO MUCH !!!!!! masato's my evil awful toxic girlfriend and i miss him every day and i love being delusional about him and daigo so im glad my goofy postings do somethin for others too lol.... thank you so much for all your love and support !!!!!!
#fave#snap chats#im in class rn and we're just doin a review so t ive just been refreshing my tumblr so. hi :]]]]]#my fics tho //SCREAMS// LAEKJAE ive been meaning to post another short one for days but .. oops .. lol ..#mayhaps ill be motivated to finally just say Fuck It and release it .. its nothing crazy or even that fun but i thought it was a silly idea#prob could work as a comic but i barely have time to draw for myself durin the weekdays and im impatient SOO#IM GLAD YOU LIKE THEM THO !!!!!!! even if i do scream if i think of my fics for more than three seconds#YOU DID COMMENT ON QUIET THO i remember replying to you !!!! that the only nsff fic of mine i have little complaints bout .. teehee ..#masadai can be something so delusional and so fun i love it here.. BUT MINEDAI ..... my loves ..#i still love them please believe me ... i made myself emo thinkin bout them last night lmao ...#and yah nanba my best friend now :)) i never draw him .... criminal .... his hair's fun and i love drawin his homeless outfit jvLAKJA
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Ok so these designs are cute as hell, the Internet is just mean
I have too many thoughts about a game I still need to watch
#goodbye volcano high#i dont have the money to buy it but god i need to watch a playthrough when i have time it's so interesting to me#like; the theme of 'yeah we're going die but that doesn't mean we can enjoy what time we have left' sounds amazing to me love that#its so funny i was actually watching a review of it that was basically 'this game sucks and here's why'#and then it just started listing off shit like- 'the characters designs are pastel they're nonbinary you die no matter what'#and then my neurons just went off and went '👁️👁️ oh! sounds amazing i want to see more'#fuck yeah pastel nonbinary dinosaurs lets go#well i think its just fang thats nonbinary and then two other trans characters#i saw a cutscene! and it was about the experiences of being an apart of a family as sec-gen immigrant and trans-#and i thought that was cool as hell dont recall ever seeing that in any of thr arts ive seen before (but there's lots of art out there!)#heard it got some glitches tho (havent looked in depth of what those glitches are) hopefully it got patched out#also im so fucking pissed i saw the gator game before i saw this 😮💨 (context; apparently made by people who made a fangame where they#the mc of this game a datable side character and they only have a happy ending if they detransition? which fucking yikes😬)#i saw people say 'oh but they did it empathetically' like how the fuck is taking a canon nb character and making them only happy through#detransitioning empathetic that sounds super fucking shitty and gross#i think a character that detransitions can be done and would be interesting to see- but this just reeks of people being transphobic for real#oh also purple dino has a slug or worm or something apparently! seems cute! just a lil thing#apparently its a rhythm game; listened to some of the songs and it sounded good! sadly i suck at rhythm games#but apparently failing doesn't affect the story? kinda wish it would but honestly better for me lol-#pink one and fang end up dating i believe- from what i saw pink is like- soft spoken artist? dunno if accurate but she's cute#all the characters are cute just look at them!!! awesome#also they have to just continue school like normal before they die and honestly thats so real#also saw people dislike the fact you dont see the characters actual die or the meteor#which is ??? dunno i just think some things are better left implied than shown-#anyways man i keep trying to find neat stuff about the game and all i see is people bitchin about it or praising the shit fan on instead 😔#man if i had two nickles for a time i grew to become obsessed with a media only for loads of people to hate id have two nickles#first nickle is kat elliot she's such a cool character Internet wasn't ready for her#also yes i saw obsessed i can just tell this is something ill go bonkers for#i mean god look how much text is in my tags for this already! and i still need to see the game in it's fullness!#im sure there's other cool shit
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okay i wrote my letterboxd review im normal now
#i use letterboxd half as a way to keep track of the many movies i want to watch (<- has an insanely long wishlist)#but more importantly to like. purge the thoughts a movie gives me in a somewhat more structured manner than just liking#saying im gonna kms in a post and/or reblogging gifs. half insane rambles half earnest review.#the stars mean absolutely nothing though like i am not star rating anything in a consistent manner it is allllll in the review baby.#sidenote i understand the urge to make jokes about films you watch - god knows i do in half my reviews - but its so weird to me that people#will put like. one sentence quips as their review and thats it. sometimes even in a way thats like. baiting for likes?#and like. i dont care. do whatever you want its your page. but it almost makes me sad. i love to joke but i love to engage earnestly too.#like hey maybe the way you connect through art is through small jokes in a community. if thats true: awesome. but it feels sad to me.#but like. clearly i like to yap so it can always just be a me thing idk.
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just read a review of the lego movie from 2014 and it is genuinely a horrible piece of literature and through perusing the comments underneath the review, I have gained an intense dislike of the reviewer. it's not even that I liked the lego movie and he didn't it's just that a lot of the stuff he says is factually incorrect, really stupid-sounding, or he doesn't provide any real reason, and in the comments, he reacts to even the friendliest and politest constructive criticism as if it's a personal attack on him.
#listen I DON'T CARE THAT YOU DIDN'T LIKE THE MOVIE#I mean I'm slightly saddened because I did like it#but he straight-up says it's fully actual physical stop-motion animation at the beginning (factually incorrect)#then later says you won't appreciate the movie unless you like lego a lot and know all about it#specifically saying 'if you can tell the Lego Wild West town from its pirate ship from its spaceman set' (direct quote)#like um idk bro... are you saying you can't???#also this does insinuate that there is one specific set for each of these#which is also factually incorrect but I'm not really mad about that#and then in the comments he kept trying to defend himself by saying stuff about how the movie has a 90%ish rating on rotten tomatoes#and therefore 10% of people didn't like the movie#which is actually. an insane oversimplification of statistics. that's like saying if there are 10 children with an average of 4.5 apples#per child and each child can have a maximum of 5 apples#then 9 of the children must have 5 apples and the other 1 must have none#the 90% in fact includes a large number of people who rated it at 3.5-4.5 stars which is means a lot of them really actually did like it#and just didn't think it was the best movie ever ever in existence or maybe they just had some small qualm with it#the final straw was that someone left a very nice very kindly written piece of constructive criticism asking if maybe the reviewer would#consider saying what about the humor he didn't like (or what kind of humor it was) next time so that the viewer would know whether they#would like it or not as well and I read this and thought 'surely he will respond courteously to at least this one' and he said.#basically 'it's not that the kind of humor didn't suit my tastes. it just wasn't funny'#WHAT THE FREAK#WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT#ALL THIS GOING ON AND ON ABOUT WRITING A NEGATIVE REVIEW BECAUSE IT'S YOUR ACTUAL OPINION AND NOT BECAUSE YOU WANTED TO BE CONTRARY#BUT I THINK YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT AN OPINION IS??????#it's MY opinion that it was funny#it's YOUR opinion that it wasn't#you don't get to arbitrarily say that the only reason you disliked the humor was because it was 'bad'#even ethics aren't this black and white#there was another thread where a commenter pointed out that the reviewer seemed to assume there was such a thing as a universal definition#of a good movie and he repeatedly refused to explain himself. like in an 'are you stupid. this isn't worth my time' way#but I won't get into that
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